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accirax · 9 months

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Literature Girl Insane and the Color Connection Theory

(Spoilers for DRDT’s Literature Girl Insane MV, as well as through Chapter 2 Episode 11. Vague spoilers for Super Danganronpa 2 and New Danganronpa V3. Because the images in this post are mainly designed to showcase the colors presented in the MV, there will be no image IDs in this post.)

Wow! Literature Girl Insane is… so much!! There is literally so much to look at that I don’t know how we’re supposed to handle it!!!

I mean that all in a glowingly positive way, to be clear. The DRDT creator has granted us an exciting puzzle that may take months to fully solve/analyze (or maybe we’ll never finish it), with so many facets that there are still things that I haven’t seen much of anybody talking about.

Speaking of, I’d like to take a look at the colorization of some of the lyrics! As per my eye, there are 15 distinct colors that appear in the lyrics of the MV. I distinguish the lyrics as “the words that are outlined in black (or white, when the color is black),” so any of the colored text in the background, such as the literary passages, will not be included in my analysis.

An important piece of information that I’ll reference a lot is the official colors that have been assigned to the students. That being, the color that the first letter of each of their first names gains when the students enter the Class Trial.

Because Xander never attends a Class Trial, he has no confirmed color, unless I’m forgetting something. However, based on his bright hair, I would have to assume that the color of that letter would have been a fiery red. It’s even on the opposite side of Teruko on the color wheel.

David has two colors; one for his inspirational speaker persona (yellow) and one for his depressed theater kid persona (gray). I don’t think J’s color changes between being listed as J Rosales and J Moreno. Although I didn’t put it on the chart, MonoTV appears to have no color, with all of the letters in its name remaining white. Some of my personal assignments will go against these color choices, but I think it’s still important to keep in mind.

Since Tumblr doesn’t want to let me use as many colors as I want, I will put in an image of what each color looks like the first time it appears. I’m going to analyze each color in order of how many times it appears in the MV, from most to least. That means the first color is…

Red

are all just idiots (final verdict); Bye; whatever; Goodbye.; go mad; together; are all just idiots!; Bye; broken; go insane?; ignorant; God; go mad; great applause!!!; Aa; won’t change; original; you’ve killed so many; and disappear!; 1; medicine; [untranslated characters]; [untranslated characters]; [untranslated characters]; go mad; self delusion; isn’t it!?; ah,

(If you want time stamps and pictures of the characters, I wrote them down in the document Venus and I compiled together)

Red appears 28 times throughout the MV, and as you can tell, they’re very… edgy. It’s a very interesting color, given that there are multiple characters I think it could apply to.

The first option is Veronika. Her color is a bright red, and she’s no stranger to creepiness. Things like “go mad” and “you’ve killed so many” could definitely be words she’s spoken to her problematic faves like Arturo or David. The selection of “broken” could apply to her hidden quote: “once something is broken, it can never be pieced together in quite the same way again. The same goes for people.” If Veronika herself is something that is/was “broken,” going insane could apply to her as well. Some people have already called her delusional, which could fit right in with “self delusion.” With her chaotic attitude, I can also easily imagine her using the intense punctuation (!!! and !?) seen on some of the lines.

The biggest problem with this interpretation is that, frankly, I don’t think Veronika merits this level of importance in this MV. Now, that’s not to say that I don’t like Veronika, or don’t think she’s important– I love Veronika! I just don’t think she’s that important to David, who this MV is about.

They could have more of a connection in the future, given that Veronika has started simping for his dark side, but thus far they’ve barely interacted at all. The most damning rebuttal is the cast list at the end.

Would the color that appears the most in the MV really go to a character that doesn’t even make the supporting cast list?

The main way that I can imagine that Veronika actually is red is if she is the mastermind. That would explain how she could claim such a prolific color in general, yet why she wouldn’t yet be listed as a Main Role– because David (presumably) wouldn’t know that she’s the mastermind. If David survives for a while alongside mastermind Veronika, it would also give more of a chance for their relationship to develop down the road.

Still, it would make more sense to me if red did belong to a listed character; even better if one of the main roles. Someone like…

Option two: Xander Matthews.

Xander is obviously a key player in this MV, and like I said, I would guess that his character color would be red. Even if it was, say, yellow (for his eyes) instead, I don’t really think anybody could complain if he showed up as red in the MV.

The focus on the word “bye” would also fit Xander. He’s dead now, and David has clearly been thinking about him, so he could constantly be saying “bye” to Xander after the rebel “and disappear!”-ed from life. Xander had to treat his eye in the infirmary, so “medicine” could make sense for his character. “You’ve killed so many” could be something that David could imagine Xander saying to him in his guilt-ridden spirals. Although, as far as is confirmed, David has never actually killed anybody, including in his secret. Venus adds that “You’ve killed so many” could be Xander speaking to himself, stewing in his survivor’s guilt about the death of his family. She also says that “go mad” sounds like something a British person would say. You never know what she’ll have to contribute /lh.

Speaking of things Xander could say, though… I have a hard time imagining that he would say some of these things. I’m sure Teruko would tell me that I’m naive to have any trust left in the guy, but some lines just seem out of character for him, to me? Like, calling everyone idiots and telling people to “go insane” feels very different from how he acted in Chapter 1. Maybe if Xander was reflecting on his own “going insane” after he stabbed Teruko, it could work?

The line that stood out to me the most for not fitting Xander was actually “won’t change,” though. Man’s the Ultimate Rebel. He’s all about inciting change in people. Whatever this thing is that won’t change– David’s attitude, the mastermind’s wickedness, the continuation of the killing game– would he really be chiming in to say that it’s immutable? But, if I don’t really think that it’s Xander or Veronika, then what red person could be left?

Ah, right… the classic copout option, #3, Mai Akasaki.

I say “copout” because, overall, we know very little about her personality. Therefore, it’s easy to put words like “idiot” and “insane” into her mouth because there can’t be too much of a counterargument. It does seem like a pretty big contrast to her characterization as Unnamed Student (assuming that’s her), but given this series’ penchant for moral bankruptcy, I wouldn’t be surprised if her nice exterior hides a more sinister slant.

However, there are some genuine points in Mai’s favor here. First is the red color– Mai’s hair is red, and Teruko even notes that Xander’s red hair reminded her of Mai’s. Thus, if I speculated that Xander’s color could be red, Mai’s could be too. She’s at least in the Supporting Cast, unlike Veronika. “Bye” and particularly “and disappear!” would also fit Mai well, given her absence in the killing game. “God” is also of particular note, as it’s the first word in Mai’s roman numeral quote, “God is dead.” Mai also seems to be worshiped like a god among those who remember her (Teruko potentially excluded), and the MV notes her as “someone dearly loved.”

Those three aspects of God could be leading us to the conclusion that red represents Mai in this MV, and it’s that interpretation that I’ve decided to roll with. I promise I’ll pick up the pace for the next colors, okay?

Yellow

game; Bye; cat; is what you’re told; ambition; the falling slanted sun; Bye; “happiness”?; dead; make noise; The acclamation is; live; original; 2; Let’s do that! [translated]; shout; ah,; miserable

While Eden is the only holder of the color yellow as of Chapter 2 Episode 11, I think this color has to go to the man, the myth, the now-starless star himself, David Chiem. I mean, c’mon. It’s his MV. He has to have one of the most prominent colors.

But even beyond the yellow, there’s a lot that points to David here. Since I just mentioned the fading of the stars in David’s eyes, let’s start with “the falling slanted sun”. As the sun itself is a star, this line could represent both how the stars have fallen out of David’s eyes and how he, a star, is falling in the public’s perception. Given his determination to save his career, “ambition” certainly fits David’s character, and he “make[s] noise” every time he gives a speech, making people believe “what [they’re] told”. But despite his stage persona, he’s always felt “dead” and “miserable” on the inside.

Perhaps the most interesting line here is the “Let’s do that!”, which can be seen here.

(It’s the only line in Japanese we were able to translate ourselves T-T)

Even if it’s a “let’s do that!” instead of a “no, that’s wrong!”, which means that David is arguably only agreeing with himself, the protagonist imagery here is exceptionally clear. Not to mention, every canonical protagonist post-Makoto has been able to access consent points as well.

I’ve definitely seen people out there theorize that David may become Despair Time’s protagonist one day, and while I found the concept merely amusing at first, the more evidence piles up, the more I’m forced to believe it may be true. So, if David is represented by the color yellow, this could be further evidence/foreshadowing towards his future role. If so, I’m particularly intrigued by the fact that yellow has both “dead” and “live”. It seems like David’s alignments and beliefs are still up in the air.

Green

this guy →; Bye; a life full of much shame; make noise; this guy; anonymous; Bye!; substance of the arts; this guy; original; 4; make noise; clown

Similar to yellow, there are two primary candidates for the color of green. And while Hu has a better argument than Eden did on yellow due to being listed in the supporting cast, her greatest competitor, Teruko, is also in the supporting cast.

Did you know that green appears thirteen times throughout the MV? Of course it’s fucking Teruko.

There’s a good argument to be made that, with her tragic backstory, Teruko is one who’s lived “a life full of much shame.” Doubly so if you believe that she has the “the killing game is all your fault” secret, which I personally do. Because she’s moved around so much and doesn’t seem to have many attachments to people, you could say that she’s “anonymous” in a lot of her actions.

Teruko “make[s] noise” frequently in both Daily Life, when she refuses to avoid the subject of murder and thrusts knives at people, and Deadly Life, where she maniacally laughs her way through solving the entire trial for those idiots twice in a row. However, due to her over-the-top lack of trust in anybody, I could still believe that David would see her as a “clown”. A smart clown, but a clown nonetheless. (She also had her sillier moments as well, especially when Xander was alive.)

The line that makes the least sense to me is honestly “substance of the arts,” especially given that it’s part of Veronika’s roman numeral phrase. Teruko doesn’t seem particularly artistic to me. Maybe it’s just meant to imply that she’s a girl with a lot of substance? If “the arts” were theater, it could be saying that her life is very tragic and dramatic? And if Teruko is a substantial, dramatic character, maybe Veronika would appreciate that? I’m obviously reaching, but I still do believe that green represents Teruko here.

Cyan

dog; No Longer Human; game!; I; isn’t that; original; LET’S LAUGH; just like that; 3; cry; foolish; “kapukapu”

While it might seem like this color should belong to J, given that it’s quite similar to her character color, I actually believe that this color represents someone else. Namely, MonoTV.

MonoTV’s official character color is white, but its face is obviously a bright cyan. It even tells Teruko that its favorite color is blue in Chapter 2 Episode 3, so I don’t think that calling MonoTV cyan is a stretch at all.

The most obvious clue that MonoTV could be cyan is “dog,” which is pasted over “cat” (in yellow) at 0:37. The replacement of “cat” isn’t written in the original lyrics of the song, so the creator definitely intended for this to relate back to MonoTV. Why not give the mascot itself the line correcting the species? “No Longer Human” fits along with this creature angle as well.

“game!” is another obvious one, as MonoTV is the excitable host of this killing game. While “LET’S LAUGH” seems sweet out of context, in the killing game, it could seem much more heartless and robotic. The all-caps approach also makes it feel threatening. “cry” could also be a command to the students, like when MonoTV encourages them to create more drama in Chapter 1. I don’t remember a specific instance of MonoTV calling the students “foolish”, but it doesn’t seem out of character at all.

I couldn’t figure out exactly what a kapukapu was, unfortunately. It’s a reference to Yamanashi, a children’s book by Kenji Miyazawa, but they don’t actually describe what a kapukapu is in that book. When I googled “kapukapu,” it came up with a Sega character described as an antagonistic “orange cat creature with yellow eyes, a zigzag shaped tail, and big sharp fangs.” The creator definitely knows more Japanese than I do, but if they were similarly struggling on this one, they may have also googled kapukapu, seen “evil cat” and said, “yeah, that sounds enough like MonoTV.”

I should also probably talk about the “1”, “2”, “3”, and “4” portrayed at 2:43, which has shown up in the red, yellow, green, and cyan sections so far. These numbers representing Mai, David, Teruko, and MonoTV definitely feels plausible to me, especially if you throw in the wrinkle that David could become the protagonist. The qualification could be “mysterious characters with a darker side,” “characters related to the formation of the killing game,” or even “the most actively important characters at the end of the killing game.” This interpretation makes me more confident that these assignments are correct, although there’s obviously room for debate.

Pink

anonymous hopes,; heart; Rolling with laughter and turning into clowns; brainwashed; degraded copy; original; [untranslated character]; clown; painful

And now, onto a color for which I feel there’s basically no debate. If these text colors do correlate to characters, this color has to be Whit.

For starters, he’s the only character assigned the color pink, probably because it’s so prevalent in his design. I can imagine “Rolling with laughter and turning into clowns” paired with his XD laughing sprite, fitting how he’s the biggest canonical joke-teller in the cast. “heart” fits his Ultimate Matchmaker talent perfectly, while also representing how his empathic ways can make him the heart of a group. MonoTV literally mentions that he has “too many damn hearts on [him]” in Chapter 2 Episode 2. “painful”, meanwhile, can represent his secret, and how he represses the painful memories of loss regarding his loved ones.

The most concerning and confusing lines here are “brainwashed” and “degraded copy”. You could definitely pull these for mastermind Whit analysis, but since I’m not a strong believer in that theory (perhaps because I just desperately don’t want it to be true), I’ll go with another interpretation. Brainwashing could be something that Whit essentially does to himself, controlling his mental state and forcing himself to be happy. “degraded copy” could be how Whit feels about himself in regards to his mother. Although we don’t know too much about her, we know that he doesn’t relate to his dad, and he dyes his hair to be more similar to his mom. Since he idolizes her so fiercely, it’s possible he feels like he can never be as great as she was.

There’s always a lot to unpack with Whit “repression” Young, but… for the sake of post length, we’re moving on.

Gray

(after all); whoever else; (turbatus); XI.; whoever else; [untranslated character]; thing

Despite the fact that we’re running out of colors at a rapid pace, I actually think this one is David again. Specifically, clipless David, after his color turned to gray. C’mon, he’s the star of the show! He gets special privileges.

The gray character feels very depressed. It doesn’t seem to care about anything, using vague terms like “whoever else” and “thing,” as well as taking “turbatus,” AKA “troubled.” David has already claimed to have a family history of depression, and although he’s a liar, I don’t know if he was bs-ing that one. Based on his worldview as portrayed in Chapter 2 Episode 11, it’s not much of a leap to assume David feels this depressing gray way.

The inclusion of “XI.” is quite interesting, given that that’s Mai’s roman numeral, “God is dead.” In my mind, this further cements a potential relationship between Mai and David (and that Mai is red and David is yellow/gray). Just look at the colorization of the quote “XI. God is dead”!

That’s both of David’s colors on either side of Mai. Maybe, as the protagonist, David will be the one to take down Mai, the “God”?

If gray isn’t a second David, I would suggest that this could be Rose. While she isn’t particularly associated with the color gray, “(turbatus)” is part of her roman numeral quote, and she has plenty of troubles of her own. Based on her hidden quote, “In the end, the only thing I can do is watch my wretched life go on,” it would be reasonable to believe she is also depressed. “whoever else” and “thing” could refer to her absentmindedness, and how she tends to forget things that aren’t important to her (despite her photographic memory).

Orange

← that guy; shout; that guy; let’s play!; that guy; original

So it’s a little random, but my best guess is that orange is Ace? Mostly because he’s the only true orange color in the class trial– Min and Rose have sort of orangey colors as well, but to me, they don’t fit the lyrics super well. Not to say that Ace does, but there’s more of an argument there to be had.

“shout” is the most Ace-like lyric to me. Most of his (amazingly) voice acted lines are screaming in some way. He yells a lot, whether due to stress, excitement, or anger. On that angry wavelength, “let’s play!”, though it sounds innocent, could be something bitterly yelled out at an opponent. Like, “oh, if you wanna play, let’s FUCKIN’ play, Nico/Levi/etc!!” Given that Ace identifies as a man, he would be a more classic “guy” choice than Min or Rose would be as well.

The repeated “that guy” puzzled me at first, but I did find a solution. The thing that was tripping me up was that the orange “that guy” is always paired with the green “this guy.” If Teruko is green, then why would David be putting Ace on the same level of importance as Teruko there? He and Ace have barely interacted!

But then I remembered that there’s one key place in which they did interact, and that was in the second class trial. Ace takes part in revealing David’s secret when he exposes the conversation David and Arei had in the relaxation room. And then Teruko agrees with him, saying that she’s always found David’s behavior suspicious. David could pair Teruko and Ace together in his mind as “this guy” and “that guy” as the main ones who exposed his secret. Whoever else was there doesn’t matter; they were the main ones at fault.

Plum

change!; like that; original; change!; a cup of poison

Purple time! This one is Charles, I’m pretty sure.

Charles has probably had the greatest positive character arc thus far (other than maybe Arei?), so him being “change!” is very fitting. He’s certainly urged Teruko to change for the better, and maybe he’ll do that for David in the future too. “like that” is part of “Do it like that / let’s live together!”, which could refer to Charles warming up to his classmates. Notably, that is part of VII., which is J’s roman numeral. J did possess Charles’ secret and tell him about it, but it’s not the strongest connection.

“a cup of poison”... does not bode the best for Charles’ survival! However, it could just be referring to his custom weapon being strychnine. Rose’s secret weapon is also poisonous in nature, but (spoilers for the post) I’m not sure she actually has a color in this MV. Thus, if the creator wanted to give one of their poison recipients the “cup of poison” line, Charles may have been their only option. It could also indicate that Charles’ strychnine is more important to the story than Rose’s turpentine (a concerning concept, given that the turpentine has already been involved in an attempted murder), but… who can say! (I am in denial)

Black

you; the track to the ideal country →; you; you

We’re running out of colors here, and it would be pretty weird if the second member of the main cast didn’t have one. That’s right, I’m saying that black refers to Xander, despite his red leanings. However, his color was never officially assigned, and his gloves are black.

David seems very fixated on Xander in this MV and its associated content. Thus, the triple repetition of “you” could indicate David repeatedly thinking about Xander throughout the days. Although, if Xander is the black text, Xander should probably be the one saying “you”. Perhaps instead, it’s about how Xander cares about and fixates on specific individuals, like how he noticed that Nico was alone at lunch and went to go talk to them. I’m giving the guy a glowing review, but it kinda seems like David is doing that too.

“the track to the ideal country →” also reminds me of Xander. As the Ultimate Rebel, he calls for country-wide reform. So, he could believe that he’s leading the way to the ideal country. Abstracted a bit, this could also relate to his motivations for attempting to kill Teruko. He may have believed that killing her was “the track” to save everyone and get them out of the killing game.

Although I wish I could give him a color with greater importance, this one makes a lot of sense to me. It is the first color that appears, for what it’s worth.

Dark Blue

cry; original; big

This one is… hard. I’m not super confident about it– “cry” and “big” do not give me a lot to work with. I’m going to give this one to J for the time being, mostly based off of a fringe theory I developed about “original”.

Yeah, “original”. That 8-color madhouse that I’ve been ignoring so far. To be honest, I don’t know what to do with it. It’s possible that “original” itself is meant to apply to all of the characters featured in it– the word is generic enough that I believe it could apply to all of these characters.

However, I was trying to figure out if this could be hinting at a Chapter 6 trial composition. Eight people seems like way too many for Chapter 6, but if you say it includes Mai (red) and MonoTV (cyan), you only need six surviving students. While casts usually roll up to the endgame with 5 people (based on how SDR2 and v3 went), all you need is to skip a double victim case or have a blackened-less trial to get up to 6.

Under this theory, that would put Teruko, David, Charles, Whit, and Ace in the Chapter 6 trial. (Do I really believe this is true? Not really, but, man, what a dream.) I don’t know exactly how much the creator is paying attention to balancing their final cast, but I have to imagine they would notice that Teruko is the only girl listed there.

That was the deciding factor that swayed me into calling this J over Arturo, as both of their colors are blue. I can see J as a survivor much more easily than I can Arturo, and she would be a second girl (or third, if you count Mai) in the trial. I’m definitely not super convinced, though, so take dark blue with a grain of salt.

Light Blue

cry; cry; idk!!!

So, this is… bleak. This person is not having a great time. Based on color, I’m saying this one is Nico. (That’s also why I didn’t mention them as a non-male blue person on dark blue).

While Nico is definitely less of a crybaby than people might have assumed based on their first appearance, it’s still true that they have multiple sprites with tears in their eyes. “idk!!!” could reference how they struggle to communicate with others, and never know what’s considered “polite” to say. “idk!!!” is also part of Nico’s roman numeral, connecting it to them again.

You could also read “cry, cry, idk!!!” as a timeline of what Nico has done so far in the story. They were anxious, got bullied, and cried a lot, until something in them snapped. What are they gonna do after they snap? Idk!!! Kill Ace, maybe? Either of these options, along with Nico’s official color, are enough to convince me that they could be light blue.

Soft Blue

You’re called an; the world

Hang on, isn’t there another blue non-man you haven’t mentioned yet? You’re right. It’s because I think soft blue is Arei.

Even without her class trial color, Arei is a character covered in blue from head to toe, so she would definitely fit one of the blue options. “You’re called an” reminds me of her for multiple reasons. One, she’s a bully who gives people mean nicknames, so it could be her calling someone else something cruel. Two, many aspects of her personality were derived from her sisters bullying her, so you could say that she’s defined by what she was called as a child. Classic cycle of violence type stuff.

“the world” is a little iffier, but there’s definitely still an argument to be made. In her rant to David and Teruko, Arei makes clear that she believes the world is an inherently cruel place, and that she’s only one piece of that meanness. If she ponders the state of the world frequently, “the world” could be related to her character. (She’s also my world, so–)

Mint

“Idiot”, pointless

Another character who is not having an excellent time! Well, if this alternative green isn’t Teruko, it’s probably Hu, as she’s the other character assigned green. That would also mean that we’ve cleared every character in the cast list, other than the mysterious M__ N____i(___).

While this is not my opinion, I think David currently sees Hu as a “pointless” “idiot”; another person in the long line of manipulable people that he was destined to control. He literally calls her a “fucking idiot” at 18:30 of Chapter 2 Episode 11. It’s also possible that this is how Hu is feeling about herself right now– she says in that same episode that “If no one relies on [her], then [she] won’t be useful anymore.” Since she wasn’t able to prevent Nico from attempting murder or see through David’s lies, she could believe her existence here is pointless.

Kind of an L, but I think this makes sense.

Orchid

doubt; shout

…um.

So, in the assigned colors, the only people with purple-ish pink-ish colors are Charles and Whit, but they’ve already been assigned colors– purple and pink, no less. The next closest person to being purple is Levi, so I guess I’m giving this to him?

It’s not like “doubt” and “shout” are terrible for him. He definitely has moments of doubt when it comes to understanding Arei’s mind games, or when apologizing to Ace. Speaking of Ace, “shout” could refer to the moment in Trial 1 where Levi snapped and threatened to strangle Ace.

I also don’t know if it has any significance that these two words rhyme. Probably not, just because I don’t really see how this would point us to any character, but it’s something worth mentioning.

We’re almost at the end!

Periwinkle

world

Part of the reason why I disliked giving Levi the orchid quotes was because his color fits this periwinkle color much better, but I digress.

For starters, let me say that I’m pretty sure this is its own color, but it could be that my eyes are deceiving me from staring at this MV for too long, and this is actually part of purple. In that case, Charles is also my world, so we good. (The other color assignments are subjected to my opinions as well. I tried screenshotting everything and bringing it into Photoshop, but it was coming up with different hexcodes for colors that were clearly meant to be the same thing, so I gave up and went with subjectivity. If you think something is assigned wrong, let me know!)

As I just mentioned in the orchid section, there aren’t really any more pink or purple characters left in the cast, which leaves us with a problem. Based on the answers I landed on for all of the other colors, I found myself left with Min, Eden, Arturo, Rose, and Veronika. I sort of associate Min and Rose with purple based on the colors of their outfits, but officially, they’re both sort of brownish.

That’s why… I actually think this might be a character we haven’t met yet. Namely, Diana Chiem (should she actually exist), the woman in the video/the hand holding the acceptance letter, the class’ teacher that Min mentions, or M__ N____i(___). Or, some combination of these people, should any of them actually be depicting the same person.

Periwinkle is the last color to appear, which could correlate to how this character will take a while to appear in the story. Their one and only quote being “world” matches how this person is currently in the outside world, not the killing game. They could also be a connection David has to the outside world.

I’m aware this is even more of a copout than calling Mai red, but I honestly believe in this more than any of the other students.

And with that, we’re finally done! I’m always a sucker for matching things to other things, so this was a lot of fun. I might have more to say on this MV in the future, or I might not, but either way, it’s been an honor to piece this thing together with you guys.

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pittdpeaches · 3 months

Note

Hi there! Sorry if you’ve already been asked something similar to this haha-

Do you have any writing tips? Anything you wish you’d known earlier? Things you would suggest avoiding?

I’m also curious how you plan your fics if you don’t mind sharing haha

aaaaa hello hello! Apologies for not getting to this sooner, I've been in the process of going to study abroad, but I have some time to sit down and answer this properly. I'm not sure if I have things I wish I'd known or advise you to avoid, but I can share writing tips and fic processes.

Way back in like, october 2022, I made a huge google doc with like 12 different fic ideas I had. I go back to it now and again and add some ideas, or work on others. If I'm particularly inspired by something, I may even make it into a bigger doc. Usually I have an idea of what story I'd want to write and a handful of scenes seared in my head, and it's just a matter of adding scenes in between to get to the Big Stuff. A lot of the time, the story I start with shifts from there in order to justify getting to the original scenes I've planned out.

For example: Genus Datura was supposed to be a sickfic/intoxication fic where Red Son got so fucked up he started genuinely believing MK was his husband, because there was No Way this was real, he had to be dreaming, while a very real, *not* married MK tried to take care of him. The main scenes in my head were the hair washing scene and Red Son throwing up all over MK, but it was a matter of stretching it out into a bigger plot. I wasn't sure *how* Red Son would get into that state, so I did some research and found out jimsonweed is a very poisonous plant that causes hallucination and even death.

This bit of research was great because I could use an element from the actual show in the fanfic, but it also changed the story's tone. It wasn't a silly fic about Red Son spilling his affections to a very real MK-Red Son gets genuinely poisoned, and believes MK is proof of that. It also changed the reason why Red Son was working with the crimson jimsonweed-Princess Iron Fan needed him to work on it, which meant this was to some degree, Princess Iron Fan's fault.

Sometimes, it's less a matter of research changing the fic and more stream of consciousness? I didn't plan for the car scene between Red Son and MK in Genus Datura, but it just sort of poured out the more I wrote, and I went along with it.

While I do sometimes play with the idea of writing the sillier genus datura, I'm really happy with how it turned out. I enjoyed the writing process for it immensely.

I have a pretty spastic writing schedule-I'll do huge 5-8k chunks of writing over the course of a couple hours or a single day, and then just *not* write for a couple days or even a week. I wouldn't say it's the *healthiest* schedule per say, but it works for me and I'm overall pretty content with it. That being said, if you can stretch your writing out over the course of several days rather than jamming it into one, I'd recommend that more to others lmao.

So, here's some advice:

Firstly, make an outline. I'm not a big outlining person myself, I usually just have the chapter number and like, a short blurb about what I want to happen, but that alone is good enough. There's nothing worse than having a scene in your head and then completely forgetting it when you sit down to write three days later.

Take your time writing! Schedules and deadlines you create for yourself are handy if you want consistency, but life isn't consistent, and sometimes you need to be lenient with yourself. Write what you can, and if you can't some days, don't.

If you're stuck on something, genuinely go outside. Or stay inside, doing something completely different. Work on something else. The brain is fascinating-it works on things even when we don't really think about them. Give yourself some time away from your story and eventually, it'll come to you.

Play around with your ideas, even if you don't expect them. You might change something you thought was an integral aspect of the story at some point, and you might switch it out for something you'd just came up with on the spot. And that's okay. If this is where the story wants to take you, then go along for the ride.

Most importantly I think is that no matter how silly or stupid you think your writing is, someone out there will love it. Even if you don't get as many views or likes or comments as you'd hope, someone out there keeps your work close to their heart. You've worked hard on something, and you should be proud of that :D

Hope this all helped!!! It's a VERY long response, sorry about that rgurithjn.

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thief-of-eggs · 5 months

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HI Ok this is probably going to sound completely unhinged but bear with me: I have this issue where I have lots of ideas (usually very vague ones) for stories that I love to imagine writing—but when I actually get around to writing them I just stare at a blank page; or I have no idea for plot beyond some abstract concepts—I’ve been thinking a lot about Snowjanus recently, and—this is the unhinged part—one of my main interests is early American history and there was this guy named William Strachey who was the secretary of Jamestown, and also an attempted poet, and when I read TBOSAS I realized that I recognized the name Sejanus from one of his poems VPON SEIANVS, which was prefaced to Ben Johnson’s Seianus His Fall,—and it all just works so nicely together since they were contemporaries of Shakespeare (AND Seianus His Fall was performed at the Globe, and Strachey’s story of being shipwrecked very likely inspired The Tempest) who of course wrote The Tragedie of Coriolanus—now thematically or narratively I have no idea how these things would all fit together—I have a lot of other random ideas like that, or vibes but nothing concrete—this is basically a long-winded way of asking if you had any advice on how to go from “man this idea sure would be neat” to an actual story? (I’m obsessed with your writing btw <3)

Hi hi!!! I am happy to help!! Also I understand exactly what you mean- I only hope that my advice actually makes sense!!!

Ok so- for me personally, when it comes to getting rough ideas out onto a page, I have a couple different methods I follow:

- The first is, if I already have parts of a whole scene in mind, but I don’t know the beginning/ending, I often just write the part that I know. So if that means writing the climax for a story, even though I have no idea how I’ll get the plot there? Oh well. At least the idea is out, and often times that will inspire me more.

- If I have a hazy idea but no plot yet, I like to write out little bullet points. Sometimes bullet points as simple as: (using my fic Thoughts of you Consume as an example)

- Coryo and Sejanus begin to have hate sex

- Coryo starts to feel something more

- Sejanus pulls away. Coryo chases after

Like! Those bullet points give me NOTHING. But they also give me a baseline to begin working off of, and from there I can begin to envision where I want it to go. I’ll expand on each bullet point and add subcategories, which only helps make the plot outline grow

- Another method that I sometimes use is to just spitball ideas. I’ll set a timer sometimes, or just devote myself to the task, and will just write out any ideas that come to mind with a particular prompt, and then I take it from there. Example for the prompt “snowjanus first kiss”, I may write out stuff like this:

- Coryo kisses Sejanus after the arena scene, his emotions a whirl

- Sejanus kisses Coryo on the train, too damn happy to see him

- Their first kiss is a dare, and Coryo wont back down

- Sejanus kisses Coryo after a party, when they’re both mildy drunk and confused. Sejanus forgets it, but Coryo never does.

Then from there, I’ll examine each little start and see what I like best. In this scenario, I really like the last one (shoot now I’ll have to turn that into a fic lolol) so my next step would be to outline the plot. When does the party take place? How long does Coryo hold the knowledge in? Does he ever tell Sejanus?

And most importantly- how do I want the story to end? With them together? With Sejanus hanging? With the start of the 10th hunger games?

- One final method I do is daydreaming. I’ll put on a playlist inspired by the pairing and see where it takes me (thoughts of you consume was actually inspired by 2 songs- War of Hearts, and Howl by Florence + the machine). I’ll let my mind make whatever connections it wants to make, and I’ll jot down ideas as they come!

Sorry for the overly complex answer- I guess at the end of the day, I really have no tried and true method. It all depends on how inspired I am.

But I hope one of these methods can be useful to you!! The biggest thing I think is to not be afraid of writing stuff that you may end up discarding. If a connection doesn’t work, if a plot point doesn’t fit- it’s ok to scrap it!! It sucks to lose time, but if it doesn’t fit, it doesn’t fit.

I’d definitely recommend that you write out all the ways that Snowjanus connects to the historical elements that you said! Determine if you want to write some sort of crossover set in old times, or if you want to bring historical figure’s personality traits onto the characters of Sejanus and Coriolanus.

So yeah! I hope this helps, and feel free to reach out with any other questions!!! Sorry, my brain is quite a mess lol, but best of luck to you!!

#fic writing #writing advice #fanfic author #writing #author #ao3 #snowjanus

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thelashjedi · 1 year

Text

writing tips that work for me...

Mostly, I wrote all of this down to remind myself of things I’ve found helpful when writing --both fics and original fiction. I’m sharing in case it might be helpful to others too. <3

Don’t fight your own brain! Some people write linearly — start at the beginning, move to the middle and get to the conclusion in an orderly fashion. Others (hi) write chaotically— starting with the scene that inspired them, then writing whatever comes to mind in whichever order their brain spits it out; only wrangling sense out of the whole thing in revision. The right way is whichever way works best for you. Experiment to find out which approach suits you best, rather than force yourself to follow a process that works for someone else.

Maladaptive Daydreaming is an important part of the creative process! It’s writing in your mind and it’s all I did for years. The biggest difference between the ‘me that writes’ and the ‘me that didn’t’ is now other people get to hear the stories I’ve told myself forever.

Planner vs Plotter vs Planster: if you need an outline, great! If you don’t need an outline, great! If you outline, change it, outline some more and then find your characters do whatever they feel like anyway, great! There is no “have to” here – your outline is a tool, not a cage. And your particular process isn’t set in stone either — whichever method suits you for the particular project at any given time is the right method.

Work on whatever you have the energy for and don’t force it. Draft when the inspiration hits, even if time constraints mean you’re just making notes. Ready to tackle revisions? Go for it! (Even if it means revising a partial draft.) Hitting a lull in your work? Try writing the blurb for the back of your theoretical book or expanding a character’s backstory so you have a better handle on their motivations the next time you are prepared for a more in-depth effort.

You will forget that idea, so write it down! Use post-it-notes, a notebook (even the pretty ones you are “saving”, you know you have too many) or your presumably ever-present phone. (I had too many ideas go down the metaphorical drain, so I picked up waterproof note paper for the shower.)

Speaking of pretty notebooks, do not underestimate the motivational lift that comes from enjoying the items you are using! Pretty office supplies are more inspiring to me than maybe they ought to be, but there’s something to be said for liking the environment you are working in — the place itself or the tools you are using. If you like that keyboard or keyboard cover, the fancy pen or the colour coordinated highlighters and flags (and it’s within your means to get it) go for it! If that pen sparks joy, it can also help spark inspiration.

If you get stuck while drafting, put in a placeholder. Square brackets around the concept, e.g, [character tbd], [cute kid moment here], [need to figure out a macguffin]. If you haven’t settled on a concept, but know you need something [alsdkja;dsfk] works too. All you need is a visual reminder that you need to come back to this spot in revisions. This way you can move past the part that is stymying you at the moment, continue drafting the part of the story you do have ready and come back to those square brackets later.

The point of drafts is that they are drafts. They’re allowed to suck. The perfect is the enemy of the good and anyone claiming they can write a perfect first draft is in denial. (Even an exceptionally skilled writer who’s produced a phenomenal first draft could make it better through revisions.) The act of revising forces you to think critically about your work, and for me that’s paid off in better first drafts the next time. Revision is an important skill builder!

Get the story out first and worry about nailing the character’s voice in revisions. If it’s already coming out in the right voice – perfect, no notes, change nothing. However, if it’s coming out in your personal voice, just go with it while charting the story and change it to suit the character on the second pass. (I have a tendency to swear more – at least internally – than any character I write, so a lot of my revision involves weeding out superfluous expletives.)

Change the font before editing — a couple of times if you have to, using a different font each time. Having the words look different guards against revision fatigue and seeing it differently will help you, well see it differently. (You can always change it back when you are done.)

When you think you’re all done editing, read your work out loud. (You don’t have to actually be loud – you can whisper it.) Are there parts that seem to trip over your tongue when spoken? Probably a sentence that could stand to be re-written.

Stuck on a title for a WIP? First I look for a repeating theme or motif. Then I start looking at the words themselves — check out a thesaurus for different words with the same meaning or look into the etymology of the word itself for related concepts.

Four things that can help get past writer’s block:

Write a different POV for your project. Change from 3rd person to 1st person or vice-versa. Or change the POV character. (Even if you don’t use it, tackling the story from a different angle will help you think about it in a new way.)

Read more. Read something that is unconnected to your project. Also, I’ve found books I’m not particularly enjoying can be just as inspiring as books I adore. Finding the official iteration of an intriguing story disappointing (or even enraging) can fuel a wealth of creativity – which I suppose is the overall lesson of fanficlandia. (If I liked the ending of TROS, I might never have started writing in the first place…)

Write ‘non-canonical’ scenes. Choose a different character’s perspective on the same events — if a “stuck’ scene has two characters, write the other’s view of it. Write a fan fiction AU of your own WIP — exploring the paths not taken. Write from the perspective of an insignificant or background character watching events unfold — how would they view this? Or look for prompt suggestions from any source and see if you could apply it to your WIP.

Try to write something everyday — with no expectations of working on a particular project or word count goals. Put your actual projects on hold and write whatever comes to mind on literally any subject. If you’ve never written fics before, maybe try writing for a fandom you enjoy. If you already write fics, consider writing for a different fandom. Even if you never post it, it can help you find your enthusiasm for writing again. Have a book series, tv show or film where the ending annoyed you? Write a better one! Even if you only outline how you’d fix it, use that irritation to fuel your way out of a writer’s block through the power of spite!

And finally, dicking around on Pinterest and other photo sites for moodboard pics can be genuinely inspiring. Fan cast your characters. Find photos that fit with the setting or items of significance in your WIP or just the general vibe you’re going for. Just remember to get off Pinterest eventually and write something.

#writing advice #writing community #writing tips #writers #writing #fic writing

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leclercsbf · 7 months

Note

I need the director's cut for the hours i lost because this was so beautifully heartbreaking i'm not over it yet 🥺🥺🥺

ant, hello! ♥️ really sorry for breaking your heart and charles’. i’ll write a happier fic next time (or at least i hope i will), but for now you can find the outline and some commentary for the hours i lost under the cut! this is pretty long, so consider yourself warned.

↳ fanfic writers: director’s cut !

i wrote this on the exact same day that the idea came to me, which is pretty rare considering the fact that i have more than a thousand ideas in my phone’s notes prompt graveyard. like most fic ideas, this stemmed from a Shower Thought, and this was the general premise i typed out as soon as i stepped out of the bathroom:

charlos future fic where they’re both old and retired and charles has won multiple wdcs like he’s been dreaming he would for so long but now he wonders what life would have been like if had just allowed himself to love carlos like he wanted to, if he had allowed carlos to love him like carlos wanted to. he wonders if having his name permanently etched into the history of the sport is worth not being with the one person who matters most. he wonders if it’s worth watching carlos walk down the altar, if it’s worth watching carlos build a home with someone who isn’t him. it had felt worth it at the time. now he’s not so sure. it’s too late, though. no point thinking about things he can’t change. when he wakes up, the world will still be turning. life goes on.

from there, i hashed out a few bullet points using the things i wanted to include in the fic. my outlines are typically more elaborate, but i knew this piece wouldn’t be very long so i didn’t put too much weight in planning. if you look through some of the sentences below (and in the general premise above), you’ll notice that some of them remained unchanged and were added to the fic as is. some details were altered just so i could get my ideas and words to flow better.

fic is structured in a way that shows snapshots of his life

maybe charles lives in monaco or ibiza (if it’s ibiza maybe it’s because it’s carlos’ home but it’s not, and maybe this is the closest charles could be, the closest he could allow himself to be)

maybe charles gets called into maranello for some event or other, maybe he bumps into carlos there

show him spending some time with family, arthur is in f1 so every free day counts

during his last summer break in formula one, charles meets a redhead who doesn’t recognize him, who doesn’t remind him of anyone he knows. for a night, charles lets himself forget.

carlos had retired before charles did, and by the time a year had passed he was already married and expecting his first child. carlos confesses that he had needed something to anchor him outside of racing, because if he didn’t have anything to hold onto he would have gone back to the sport (“he would have gone back to charles remains unspoken”, but they both know the words are sitting in the back of carlos’ throat)

charles had only let himself give in once, in singapore. they had been drunk—charles on whatever he’d found at the hotel bar, carlos on champagne and club liquor and the high of a race win—and in the dim light carlos had called him cariño, tesoro, mi cielo. in the dim light, charles stops himself from saying i love you, but he thinks his eyes might have given him away. in the morning, they don’t talk about it. [i wrote more in this bullet point, but it remained relatively unchanged in the fic save for a few words.]

carlos visits charles and they get to talking. “i think about us sometimes.” “i do, too. we’ve had a good run, no?” charles watches him leave. he would never dream of tearing down the life carlos had built for himself.

charles thinks about arthur, and he thinks about ollie, and he thinks about bravery. he thinks about all the ways he and arthur are similar, about all the ways that they’re not.

these notes already fairly long for such a short fic, but because i’m usually incapable of writing without having a shit ton of planning beforehand, i also made a timeline of years and the important events that occurred in each one.

2024: max wdc 2025: CL1 (charles’ first title) 2026: CL2 2027: CS1 (carlos’ first title) 2028: CS2 2029: CL3 2030: CL4 2031: CS3, carlos retires after the season 2032: CL5, carlos is married with a kid on the way 2033: CL6 2034: CL7 2035: CL8, charles retires after the season

it’s extremely optimistic of me to create a timeline where charles was able to beat schumi’s record, but i figured that losing carlos is painful enough that charles at least deserves to set a bunch of new records in exchange for his loneliness. but yeah, this timeline made it easier to work around the non-linear narration since it allowed me to create reference points for myself. i always write fics from start to finish regardless of the actual order of events, so having a roadmap of sorts basically greased the gears. but yeah, that’s pretty much it in terms of my writing process for this fic! i’m not entirely sure if my long and winding notes are of any interest, but if they are, i hope this was an interesting read. again, thanks so much for this ask! ♥️ babbling about notes is pretty fun.

#inbox #🎱#director’s cut

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nobodysdaydreams · 9 months

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1, 5, 32 and/or 71 for the ask game! Hope you’re doing well, don’t forget hydration and sleep!

At long last I am beginning to clean out the inbox. Thank you Katie for the hydration tip and for the asks!

(1) Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

This is a hard one to answer. One shots (I consider anything less than 20k words a one shot because I have a problem, and I don’t think I can write real one shots😔), are easier in that they don’t take as long, and I can get the idea out, show you all my story, and get feedback relatively quickly. However, once a one shot is written, it’s written, and then it’s back the drawing board to come up with new ideas. Whereas with really long multi chapter fics, the idea keeps going, there’s always something new to think about, another “one shot” or character moment or twist to weave into the story, and I love seeing your reactions and how invested different people get into different subplots and storylines. What is frustrating about multi chapter fics is that there’s a lot of delayed gratification involved for me and for you as the reader, because I have twists and ideas in SOS that I want to show you and talk about and I can’t yet, because we’re not there yet, whereas for something like the Martina Redemption fic, it’s technically a multi chapter fic, but they’re short chapters, and I wrote it all over a long weekend. Whereas I’ve been writing SOS since January and rotating the idea for it since before I even got a tumblr so… yeah that’s over a year now dang. So I’d say multi chapter fics, with the acknowledgment that there is probably a balance to be had somewhere in between the two extremes. SOS is a lot of fun to write, but I don’t think I could commit to writing another huge multi chapter fic at the same time, whereas it’s a lot easier to balance multiple wips when they’re one shots.

5. Do you like constructive criticism?

Interesting question. About my writing or in general? For my writing I’d say yes, but so far I haven’t gotten any. Which might be a good thing, although I did say when I first started writing fic, “hey I’ve never done much or any creative writing before, so if you have any feedback on things I can improve, please let me know”, but I haven’t gotten anything yet so I guess that means I’m doing okay? At least I hope. As for criticisms of myself or my blog in general, I’d accept constructive criticism on that too, as long as it’s worded nicely and doesn’t trigger my RSD.

32. Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

Ah, fishing for compliments I see /j /lh. But please do not make me choose so many of you are so good! I want to tag every fic author in the fandom, and yet I’m so paranoid I’ll forget just one or two people and would never forgive myself. So besides you @myfairkatiecat (obviously), I’ll say the authors whose stuff I’ve read the most recently: @sophieswundergarten (for her amazing Sticky fic I seriously cannot hype that one up enough), @phtalogreenpoison (the Reynie is Curtain’s prodigy AU is incredible), and @heyitsthatonesmolgay because I am waiting on the edge of my seat for the greatest fear AU it sounds so good (check out snippets here and here)!

71. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, etc. ?

Very good question. For my longer stuff, I start with the scenes and moments I have pinned down in my head that inspired the fic, bullet point the scenes in chronological order, and then write in the details that go in between and ideas for how to get from bullet point A to bullet point B and how I can write in additional “one shots” or impactful and interesting character moments to make those transitions seem less like plot filler and more exciting and fun to read and have it add something to either the characters or the story. Then when I’ve already written part of my fic, I still try to keep track of unfinished plot threads, cliff hangers, or things I plan to explain later (e.g., What happened with Sticky’s parents? Where did Isaac and Lindsey go? What’s up with Miss. Perumal’s past?). As for the characters, I do try to take the time to flesh out minor characters, because you can do that a bit more in a novel vs. tv format, but I also try to make sure I keep the main characters interesting and don’t create an unbalanced plot. I’ve talked about this before, but an unbalanced plot happens in a lot of shows where a few characters have these big mysteries that the whole fandom is super involved in and then these other main characters either end up with filler or their character development gets backtracked and rerun because they don’t know what to do with their storylines (this was one of my season 3 worries when season 3 was gonna be a thing and you can click the link to read more if you’re curious). I try to make sure all the main characters get some focus, and I also do that by letting some characters establish themselves before I start writing about other ones. For example, in SOS, that started as mostly Curtain and his friends, I establish a sense for their dynamic, and then Nicholas and his friends came into the story, and I’m slowly bringing more focus on Rhonda and Number Two, and as I’m going into season 2 I plan to write a lot more with Number Two especially, because of all the time she spends with Curtain and Nicholas in the compound.

I hope this answered your questions and thank you so much for the amazing asks (and yes, I will be drinking water). I hope you have a wonderful day! 🥰🥰🥰

#Bod's Answers #Thanks for playing!#And yes I'm hydrating #And I'll get to the rest of my inbox soon!#You all are amazing and I appreciate you all very much!#mbs fanfic #ask game #mbs ask game #fanfic ask game

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mellowthorn · 6 months

Text

I was tagged by @gwenllian-in-the-abbey, thank you so much for the tag! (and sorry that it has taken me forever to do this)

How many works do you have on AO3?

Three currently (I’ve written more for other fandoms but I orphaned those years ago)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

55,643

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I only post for Realm of the Elderlings, but I also sometimes write Kingdom Hearts fics purely for myself

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Uhh, I only have three on my current account, but in order, Someone Other Than Us, After The Sun Has Set and then Ever Your Fool.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, or at least I try to! I have a bad habit of thinking my response but never actually writing it down and then forgetting about it completely... But I try my best to remember to reply, even if it ends up taking a while.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Neither of my finished fics/oneshots have closed endings, so I guess it depends on what you imagine happens afterwards. Neither of them are exactly happy though.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I haven’t finished posting it yet, but it shouldn’t come as a surprise that After The Sun Has Set will soon take that title. I mean, it's already happier than anything else that I've written

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do, occasionally. I don’t know exactly how to describe what kind, other than that my smut scenes tend to be quite sad?? I like using them as a way to explore or exaggerate some complicated character dynamic, and I guess that’s why they often turn into something at least a little uncomfortable. As much as I enjoy reading smut that’s all sexy and romantic, for some reason I can’t write it myself at all haha

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nah

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Fitzloved is my current favourite (and I've never been this intense about a ship before), though Zemyx (from Kingdom Hearts) is the one I always eventually return to

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Last spring I wrote about 45k words of post-Assassin’s Fate happy ending AU. The outline for it is massive, and what I’ve written so far covers maybe one tenth at most. I know I will never have the patience to finish it, but somewhere at the back of my mind I refuse to let it go. I’ve been trying to see if I could turn parts of it into one-shots or something, but who knows what I’ll end up doing 🤷

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’d say I’m fairly good at characterization, as well as building up tragic and angsty scenarios. My favorite thing when writing fanfiction is to take some (usually sad) aspect of a character/relationship/etc and then dive deep into that, and I think I do it pretty well.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

My prose, especially detailed descriptions and creative similes and metaphors and the like. Writing those does not come naturally to me at all, and I feel like I often get stuck using cliches and specific words or phrases, and then have to spend half my time editing to make things less repetitive.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Not my thing, I prefer to keep everything in one language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, I think? Way back in like 2008 or 2009.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

From RotE stuff, After the Sun Has Set. It’s the first time I’ve managed to fully write, edit and post a multi-chapter fic from start to finish, and that alone is a huge achievement for me. Writing every chapter from a different character’s PoV was also a really fun (if sometimes frustrating) challenge and I’m really glad to have done it. Outside of RotE, a few years back I wrote this super self-indulgent novel-length Zemyx fic. I never posted it anywhere and it’s kind of crap quality-wise so I never will, but since it’s basically just every romance trope I’ve ever liked, it’s fun to reread for comfort every once in a while.

#tag game #not going to tag anyone bc im so late to this and cant remember at all which of my mutuals have already done it

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shesonlylittle · 2 years

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since everyone was so great the last time around, I have another writing challenge! (again- no pressure if you don’t want to participate, but don't be afraid to post even if you aren't a fic writer :) write a blurb/share something you've already written about Lexi telling Fez she's pregnant....

Hey Anon! I don’t have the brain capacity to go full fic but please have the outline of how I would write it if I did have the capacity:

They have a few close calls while Lexi’s in college. She’s late, he’s panicking. Not because he doesn’t want kids with her, but because Lexi made this whole Ten Year Plan and he’s taking it very seriously. (She wrote it down, she means business.) Also, he’s already raised a kid and had to do it before he was ready— he doesn’t want that for Lexi.

So Fez plays it pretty close to the vest. Every time she’s late he’s like “we don’ gotta worry till we gotta worry, you feel? couple more days and you’ll take a test, it’ll say yes or it’ll say no. either way we’ll figure it out.” He thinks he’s playing it extremely cool. And he would be! If it weren’t for the fact that every time he gets too stoned or drunk he looks at her, goofy stupid happy, and says “you’d make such a good mom”.

He doesn’t remember. But she does. She remembers every time very distinctly.

So! When Lexi’s out of school and set up with her first steady writing gig maayyybe she gets a little more lax with condoms and birth control and Fez is very 🤔🤫🫡 about it like “I gotta assume she knows what she’s doing… oh captain my captain, you know? Cap says we’re hittin’ it raw tonight, that’s wassup.”

But it takes like… a while. Longer than Lexi thought it might. Which ends up being good because she has a good long while to adjust to the idea of it, to talk with Cassie about it, to want it for herself and not just for Fez, long enough to kind of forget about it and all of her anxiety about being a good parent.

And then she’s late again. She gathers Cassie and Rue and paces back and forth in the little apartment she shares with Fez, awaiting the results. Cassie’s elated, Rue’s dubious about being an auntie but she’s really happy for her friends.

I think Lexi telling Fez is super quiet though. He walks in the door a few hours later and she says she has a surprise. She walks him over to the bathroom, with her hands over his eyes. And she just lets him figure it out looking down at the stick that says ‘Pregnant’. (Okay she aaabsolutely went back to the CVS and splurged for the expensive test that just says it and takes it again so that Fez doesn’t have to figure out what the fuck the symbols on the little stick mean.)

The face journey he goes through. My god. Get this man somewhere to sit down, he’s having SUCH an experience. He’s weepy, he’s overwhelmed, he’s elated, he’s so scared because they have four months left in the Ten Year Plan before babies and he doesn’t know how much wiggle room she’s okay with.

But they talk it out quietly on the couch, over pizza and beer (non-alcoholic for Lexi).

They write the new Ten Year Plan together.

#anon asks answered #Fexi imagines

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adelaidedrubman · 1 year

Note

[ask-delivery opossum]=> ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 12, 13 and 15 (saying Jestiny for four won’t count btw 🤠)

LOOK AT THE LITTLE OPOSSUM. copy pasting stealing that. THANK YOU GIGI sending you and the opossum kisses<33

2. Who’s your least favorite to write?

hm. joseph’s voice is annoying. sorry to this man love him and all but. get different speech patterns. “mine is the face of truth!” who talks like that i’m going to kill you. i can write him in “on” public persona mode well enough but... things like last wildfire chapter when i had to make him a source of factual info dump? pain suffering. jacob is also not that personally easy/fun to write for me compared to others but i don’t have the same sense of “am i doing this wrong???” as i do with joseph so it’s less stressful.

4. Which character(s) do you love to hate?

i would say john but that also kinda feels like cheating tbh? i feel like all john writers hate john at least a little. nature of john. i love to hate him in the sense of he’s annoying and i enjoy making him suffer. joseph is also fun to put through it although it’s usually more in backdrop. still. funny when he suffers.

5. What’s the easiest thing to write for you?

also john. nature of john writing. i’m pissed off and annoyed the entire time but his pov feels second nature to me at this point so. what can you do

in terms of genre, definitely comedy. there at least has to be some undertone of humor in most of what i write. also dialogue. especially johnjess dialogue. shrek voice it’s getting them to shut up that’s the trick

6. What’s the hardest thing to write for you?

probably like. genuine fluff? like i can do sweet moments but it always has to be in spite of something. also scenery descriptions are still a bitch to me after all these years. OH and action. i fucking hate writing action scenes.

7. Do you plan everything out before you write or do you sit down and go with the flow?

i’ve only very recently started forcing myself to properly outline as wildfire has gotten unwieldy and i’ve begun reaching crucial enough no turning back plot points that it genuinely would be like “oh fuck!! house of cards collapses!” if i forget something. even then i have like. the next three chapters outlined and it’s in notes app and it looks like this (example from last chapter, it was this to draft one with no inbetween steps):

in general i do plan a lot out though sort of. combing things over in my head even if i don’t write it down. and i have most major plot points of wildfire decided already. like i have a very clear image and language in my mind for the Final Scene. we’ll see if i get there. for oneshots i tend to just vibe because they’re more about having a little fun and flexing the muscles for me anyways.

12. What is one character you love but rarely/never write?

i guess not rarely/never but i don’t write faith nearly as much as i want to. i mean, tbh i guess i write faith more than fandom average lmao and she was like. the first character i ever wrote when i joined the fandom. but still not as much as i want bc a lot of it stays in drafts or is eclipsed by. you know.

i wish i’d gotten to write jess black more, i can’t believe ive only done one scene she’s probably my second favorite gfh.

13. Is there one character that always fights you when you try writing them?

JESTINY. the most i ever sympathize with john is when i want to get her to do something very simple and she explains to me the convoluted thirty five step intricate ritual it will take to get her to do it and i want to pull my hair out. like girl. sit on the fucking hay bale already.

15. What two characters did you never expect to work together?

well, in the sense that they don’t... mary may and jestiny. like they were always supposed to have most of the beef they have in wildfire (particularly in that mary may was always supposed to be a representation of jessie’s genuine breakdown in ability to empathize with Nice, Normal Folks) but i guess i didn’t expect their frenemiship to be as popular as it is or have as much chemistry to it? chemistry in the sense of lack of chemistry. but they have a compelling dynamic i didn’t fully expect. the real slowburn is when mary may finally gets to punch jessie in the face so hard.

#thank you beloved!!

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ploofyfun · 2 years

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Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

What’s the last line you wrote? Post a snippet from a wip. Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop? What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

Depends. Since I’m usually in bed about to sleep or in school or something I usually daydream for at least a day or so before I remember to write something down so I don’t forget it. But once that happens I keep daydreaming and then keep adding onto it as I daydream.

(Lowkey scared to find the last line I wrote lol but ok)(Pfft I shouldn’t have worried lol)

The last thing I wrote (I think at least) “So Alex waits. impatiently.”

Jeez, a snippet from a wip…mkay. Do we want the #ScarlettSlay or the #DannyYouIdiot because we ain’t vibing. Oooh, I actually have an even better one that doesn’t reveal how obsessed I am with particular ships especially for an ace gal.

~~~~

She continued without hesitation, “I’m going to-” A shrill ringing interrupted her again.

“Right. I’ve got to take this. Don’t go anywhere,” Shadowman told her, taking his phone out of his pocket and accepting the call. She fumed quietly to herself.

“Sir?” A polite and vaguely British voice came through, “Your mother is requesting that you attend her tea this afternoon.”

He sighed, “Charles, what did I tell you about interrupting me while I’m working?”

“Don’t, sir.”

“Exactly.”

“I’m terribly sorry, but your mother insisted.”

Shadowman pinched the bridge of his nose and held in another sigh as he relented, “Fine. I’ll be there at three.”

“How splendid, sir. I’ll let her know right away.”

“Thank you, Charles. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, sir,” was all Charles had time to say before Shadowman hung up.

He turned back to Lady Light and informed her, “It seems I have other engagements to attend to. It would be quite irritating if you escaped, so don’t.”

“You can’t be serious,” she objected. “You’re just going to leave me here for a tea party?”

“Yes. Bye,” he called, already halfway to the door. She scowled after him and muttered about priorities as he left and locked the door behind him.

~~~~

I usually just use the google docs app on my phone but sometimes I’ll use my iPad or computer, it really just depends lol. I don’t ever hand write more than a few words that would just serve as a prompt for my idea.

I really like worldbuilding and writing dialogue because it’s so fun to develop the characters and those two things (imo) are the basis of every good story (plus like grammar obviously)

#ploofy replies

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a-lil-perspective · 3 years

Text

70 Encouragements/Tips For The Writer:

A/N: Rules don’t exist. These are real and personal and stem from a deteriorating, exhausted Writer who is here to tell you (and herself) that you are amazing and keep going. I hope you find some encouragement within.

Your mental health comes first and foremost.

Indulge and embrace your creative writing pieces when they come (and when they don’t). Especially when they don’t.

Suffering from Writer’s Block or fluctuating hyperfixation? Me too. So is your favorite author. Welcome to the Writer’s Block Party (all my uwus if you see the pun).

Did you spend five hours on this one segment, forget the last time you ate, develop chapped lips, dry eyes, and a stiff back (time to get up and move), bang your head on the wall, laugh, cry, fidget, take your ADHD meds, deviate to watch YouTube, have an epiphany, curse in frustration and wonder why the hell you do this to yourself? Congratulations, you’re a Writer.

Embrace all the not-so-glamorous sides of writing, and accept the fact they’re going to happen time over again.

When you say “just one more line” and it’s 2:00 AM, I’ll be here to remind you to “go to sleep” (because I’m also depriving myself lol).

Actually, sleeping helps your mind feel refreshed, and it’s good for your health. If you’re struggling with a particular segment, one of the best things you can do is just put a cap on it for the time being, put in a placeholder, and get some shut eye. I know you don’t want to. But you will feel so much better and have more clarity and energy to continue when you wake. Trust me.

More often than not, those words you “just didn’t write down fast enough and now forgot” end up revealing themselves to you later in a much more profound way. Give the words time to get ready. They’re just spiffing up before coming to visit. :)

Be proud of yourself and your prose. Writing is an amazing part of who you are.

That trope has been written 1000 times before? Make it 1001.

You’ve already written this scenario? Write it again.

You’ve just written a single sentence. Now sit back for moment and think: you just wrote something brand new, never before seen. Nobody out there will ever write that sentence or formulate those thoughts the exact same way. You are a unique, mind-blowing, awe-inspiring human being.

Bask in the excitement that comes with a completed piece. Reflect on what you learned throughout and celebrate the little victories.

Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback, but also understand that you might not always get it, and that is OK.

Please re-read your work. Be gentle with yourself. You had to write that very first piece to get to where you are now. Love the process.

Your personal writing success is not based off of kudos or likes or reblogs.

There is no right or wrong way to write.

There is no such thing as “good” writing.

Improvement is becoming of everyone so get comfy, strap in. The journey of a Writer is a lifelong one. Here’s to many more works ahead.

Don’t mourn the words you did or didn’t write. Celebrate the ones you will.

One day, you’ll read a piece that will blow you away—and it will be yours.

There is nothing “shameful” about reblogging your own writing works.

I promise you’ll find your “wow” piece—either in something you’ve already written, or something yet to come.

Baby. Please don’t write out of spite. You’re better than that.

You are just as valid/deserving as the next Writer. And you do belong.

If you feel sad/unworthy when sharing your works or interacting with others’, get to the root of why. Writing should be fun, rewarding, and relaxing. Not shameful, embarrassing, or a chore.

Writing (fanfiction, specifically) is labeled as “transformative works”. Self-explanatory, right? However, if you notice the transformative part begin to have a personal effect on you—a negative one—it’s time to take a step back.

Right now, I can name a single quality you possess: diligence. How do I know? Because you’re a Writer, and the two go hand-in-hand.

Got that single scene in your head but you haven’t completed or even began all the chapters preceding? Bruh. Jot that down right now. You don’t need 20k words beforehand.

Embrace your writing mood swings. The stray, sweet and condensed blurbie. The ideal, bridging drabble. The solid, substantial oneshot. The hefty, elaborate 10k word chapter. Appreciate everything in-between, and that you are capable of all of it.

Nobody remembers that extra word or typo or stray speech mark back all the way back in chapter 3. Tell the little monster in your head to go to hell.

You’re not a weirdo for making facial expressions and mulling through your dialogue aloud. You. Are. A. Writer.

It’s OK if the Readers can’t always see exactly what you envisioned in your head, or the full extent of the picture you painted. We all see colors differently.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with your writing.

In fact, challenge yourself to dabble into a new plot/trope/concept every day, even if only for a few minutes. You may discover you love writing it.

There’s no rush to finish/begin any written work. If you take your time, you will make your mark. You’re not falling behind or running late. Slow down and wait for it. :)

Three cheers for hiatus.

Listen to your body and mind, know your limits and when it’s time to take a break.

Actually take a break. :)

If you feel like you’re falling stagnant in creativity, looking to/revisiting other forms of creative media can help encourage the flow.

Ask for encouragement, and be at peace with asking.

Take shelter in fellow writers. Uplift each other always.

You are/will be someone’s favorite author. :)

You don’t have anything to prove. You have something to share.

Someone is thinking about your work right now.

Someone started a series because they drew inspiration from you.

Personal writing style can reflect a lot on the state of one’s mental health. Try to always be attentive to that of your own.

Self-validation must be cultivated early on or nothing will ever work.

Freestyle every once in a while. Write a snippet, timed, and go—without editing. Write the first thing that comes to mind and go from there. Do it all the way through the set time. When it stops, you’ll find yourself unable to. 3,800 words here we come. :)

Not everything needs an outline. :)

It is completely normal to write your story out of order.

Create guidelines for yourself. If they aren’t working, toss ‘em.

Word vomiting can help you feel better (it’s just how it sounds). By clearing all those jumbled thoughts and scattered concepts, you achieve a clearer objective. Try it sometime.

A rough draft is supposed to be rough.

Sometimes the words come to you quicker than others. Be patient. That is merely the construct of a Writer’s mind. You’re a beautiful enigma.

A sentence written is a story progressing.

Writing is an endurance sport. You must pace yourself and exercise it daily.

You are still a Writer even when the words aren’t on the actual page.

You’re not obligated to a writing/posting schedule.

As you progress in your journey and gain more awareness, don’t sacrifice your style. Those beginning works are what define you. Hold onto them and don’t ever let them go.

You’re the only one cringing—

Remember that sometimes words are elusive and you don’t always have control over them, and that is OK. Sometimes they write themselves. Sometimes your characters come to life and break out into dance across your page. Dance with them. You can wrangle them back when the music stops. :)

There is nothing condemning or embarrassing about asking for a beta. Allow someone to help carry the load.

Allow people to cheer you on—even if they don’t read your work.

It’s OK if your writing style isn’t someone else’s preference.

Be your biggest cheerleader. Sometimes you are all you have.

You don’t need anyone’s approval except your own.

You love that trope/concept/story you just wrote? That’s all that matters. The end.

You will never write good. You will write you. And that is good.

Above all else: remember to write for you.🤍

#writers #fanfiction writers #writing encouragement #writer appreciation #writer support #writer struggles #writing motivation #writers tips #for writers #omg am I struggling.#hope these help you beautiful people #my writing #it’s a lil thing

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star-lemonade · 3 years

Text

I shouldn’t have said that

Astro Moonbin x Reader

Cw: smut

Rating: R

Word count: 3.3 k

Summary: Your friend Bin overhears you say you never had good sex in your life and asks if he can help with that.

A/N: While I wrote Country Side Vacation I thought it would be nice to have a series under the theme “reader slips up and says that they haven’t had sex with anyone in a while / no good sex in a while and their friend, who is in love with them, helps out” with different idols. This is unofficial part two XD

“I just want to get fucked really good one time in my life.”

You just felt so frustrated. It was not like you had had lots of exes but still it aways seemed like it was so good for them. Even your friends had stories of mind blowing sex but that just had not happened to you. You let your head sink down to the railing of the balcony. This party sucked too.

“You what?”

Cold ran down your spine like an ice cube. That voice. Oh no. You did not dare to turn around. Unfortunately you did not have to. Bin came up to the railing next to you.

The lights of the city below were a good excuse not to look at your friend. Your face burned. Why had you said that out loud? So stupid. Now Bin must think what a failure you are. You could not even get laid properly.

“Forget you heard that.”

You did not look at Bin and fled.

A few days later you got a message from Bin:

“Hey, wanna grab something to eat?”

You confirmed and met him at one of the usual places. Cheap and big portions was the restaurant’s MO. The room was little battered with its wood floors dented and discoloured, the paint chipping on tables and the walls. But it did not matter as you were here for the food. You found Bin sitting in the corner. Not where you would usually sit.

He wore his usual grey hoodie. Something was different about him today. His hair was messy and he continued to comb it every few minutes. On his neck an angry red patch told you that he had scratched it. Something he did when he was stressed. He was fidgety and distracted. A piece of paper in his hand got folded into half and half again until it was not possible to fold it anymore. When the waitress came with the order he looked at it as if he did not know what food was and stammered an order.

“What is up with you?”

Bin shovelled the food in his mouth. He stared at the bowl in front of him.

“Earth to Bin, are you there?”

He was almost shocked to find you sitting across from him. The spoon frozen halfway to his mouth. You were getting concerned. All of this was not normal Bin behaviour. A gently you added: “Everything alright?”

He set down his spoon and stared at the bowl in front of him. I hope nothing bad has happened.

“I want to ask you something.”

Bin looked around. The table next to yours was empty, but there were people in the restaurant. He slid along the bench. Until he sat next to you. What every this is, it’s for my ears only. Now you were curious.

“Do you want to go to your place?”

“Uhm-?”

Why would he ask that? He had been to your place tons of times. You looked at him. The answer was not written on his face, sadly. His face was neutral, it did not give any hints to the meaning of this. Bin had beautiful eyes and now he was pleading wordlessly for something. The problem was that you had no clue what that was.

“Go to my place?”

He saw that you did not understand and sighed. You knew him long enough to know that whatever it was he wanted to say, he also did not want to say. Bin leaned closer so really no one would hear.

“I will fuck you good. If you want me to.”

You froze. Without realizing you held your breath. Bin had just said that. He moved a little bit away, giving you space.

That was what he meant with ‘going to your place’. This revelation was too much. You could not deal with this. Your -very hot- friend had just offered to fuck with you out of nowhere.

“It’s okay, if you don’t want to.”

He patted your hair like he sometimes did and moved away. His face was flushed. Wait, this was not out of nowhere, it was about that party and that dumb thing you had said. You swallowed and grabbed his arm. Now that he has said it your brain needed to know.

“How would you do that?”

Your question caught him off guard. He looked around scared, but no one was paying attention.

“I would ask you what you want...but if it was up to me..”

He leaned forward so your faces were close. You could see the little scares on his cheek that looked like a smiley.

“First, I would eat you out…”

It was surprising to hear him be so direct. Somehow Bin had always stuck you as a bit more prude.The thought of his head between your legs however was really good. It had been to long since you had had a mouth on your clit.

“Then you would ride me to your heart’s content and at the end I will fuck you as hard and as fast as you want.”

That sounded like the best thing that had never happened to you. You did not know what to say. This was Bin. Your cute friend who really liked to go to the gym.

“I will think about it”

Your tone was very matter of fact. In that moment your instinct was not to flirt with him. The rest of the meal was tense and you said goodbye soon.

At home you did some thinking. Even your unconscious mind was working on this. Your dreams were filled with Bin’s head between your thighs and the hopeful wishing to be filled, stretched and thrusted into. You woke up very wet and uncomfortably turned on.

Maybe this was exactly what you needed. You pulled out your phone and texted Bin.

“Can you come to my place?”

Bin sat down on the edge of the bed and you in his lap. It was the first time you really noticed how big his thighs were. They felt solid under you and supported you as you weighed nothing.

Bin’s hands were on your ass, keeping you from sliding off his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him. Maybe the first kiss should have been more special but you were impatient. Bin responded to the kiss and he pulled you closer. You felt his kiss in your stomach and between your legs. Who knew your shy friend was this good of a kisser.

He pulled back and scanned your face.

“How do you want me?”

His voice was hoarse and the pupils of his brown eyes blown out. You had had your doubts about this but one thing was clear. Bin wanted you, wanted this, just as much, if not more than you.

“Just like you suggested. First your face between my legs..”

Dirty talk was not your strong suit but Bin did not seem to notice. He nodded and you got up from his lap.

“Do you want me to strip for you?”

Your face was hot instantly and in your best pearl clutching voice you said: “Is that what they teach you at the dance academy?”

He smirked. Bin is enjoying this way too much.

“Maybe.”

You felt a bit awkward but also excited. This was not something anyone had ever offered and usually you would have to pay for something like this.

“Yes.”

You may had to watch from between your fingers, because it felt overwhelmingly intense and intimate. He ran his hands over his body and your eyes followed. The sweater he was wearing hid most of his figure but one thing you could see, Bin had broad shoulders. He pulled the sweater up a bit revealing the skin of his stomach. You wanted to touch it but it disappeared again. Bin let the fabric slide back in place. Despite being tall and buff, Bin could dance gracefully.

He turned his back to you and lifted the sweater. As you had suspected, he did not wear anything under it. The fabric slid up his broad back and you could not take your eyes off him.

He sat in your lap but most of his weight was held up by his strong thighs.

“Can I touch you?”

Your hands already hovered over his skin, ready to make contact.

“Yes.”

You let yourself breathe again. Finally you could feel what Bin felt like. You ran your hands over his back and marvelled at the firm muscles. At the hip you traveled to the front to his thighs. The tension from holding his weight made them hard and big. You wanted to rest your head on them and have them between your legs.

Bin stood up and turned around. An outline had appeared in his underwear but it was not fully hard yet.

“How was it so far?”

His voice was soft and his eyes were even softer.

“You look fantastic, Bin.”

He blushed. It was cute.

“Can you lie down for me?”

Your mouth was dry and the words got stuck in your throat. Bin nodded and joined you on the bed. You straddled his hips. The contact of your hips made both of you gasp. His hands flew to your hips. He grabbed you not to control your movement, but because he needed something to hold on to. His fingers had slipped under the hem of your shirt, just ghosting over your skin. The sight was so much worse - better- than before. From his thick arms and big chest to the grooves of his abs, Bin just looked perfect. You rolled your hips into his and soaked in his little whimper. His hands pushed your shirt higher and you leaned forward so he could take it off. The cool air made you shiver but not for long. Bin sat up and wrapped his arms around you. His lips were on your neck and moved further down. Your eyes followed his movements trying to save the picture, burning into your memory how he looked kissing your chest. He locked eyes with you as he pulled down your bra and sucked your nipple into his mouth. A jolt ran through your body and you gasped. Your hand tangled in his hair. It was long, for him at least, and soft, perfect to hold onto. If you had not been so distracted by his teeth lightly biting your nipple, you might have played with it. He pulled back from your abused chest and looked up, expecting for you to say what was next. As much as you wanted for Bin to eat you out, like it had been the original plan, you were soaking wet and wanted to be filled already. You licked your lips.

“Is it okay if I ride you now?”

Your tone was a bit more desperate than you would like to admit. Bin purred a ‘Yes’ and kissed your lips. His strong arms pressed you against his bare chest. He was solid against you in the best way possible and his tongue danced in your mouth, slowly getting you even more worked up. You were sure that his goal was not to fuck you, but to drive you insane, to get you so horny you would simply rip off his remining clothes.

You broke the kiss and stood up to wiggle out of your pants and underwear. Bin did not break eye contact as he did the same. His erection sprung free and you swallowed hard. He fished something out of his pocket and lay down on the bed again, waiting. You crawled on the bed towards him, running your hands up his legs as you did so. It had the effect you wanted. Bin gulped. A blush spread on his face and chest. Your hands reached his thighs and you decided this was actually your favorite part of his body. Those big muscles were just perfect. You gently pushed his legs apart and he watched as you kissed the sensitive insides of his thighs. He shivered when you sucked on the skin and something between a gasp and a moan escaped him. You pulled back to see your work and a red mark had appeared that would fade in a few minutes.

“Can you continue?”

Bin’s voice cracked and he looked at you with pleading eyes.

“Continue with what?”

You teased him but you were not also not sure what he wanted exactly. He licked his lips.

“Can you leave a mark there?”

The question was like a punch between the legs. You may have clenched around nothing upon hearing that. Not trusting your voice you nodded and leaned down to the red circle on his thigh. Bin would have a bruise there for days. Bin would see the bruise there for days. And think of me every time he sees it. You sucked hard on the spot, making sure it would form a bruise and listened to Bin’s heavy breathing.

When you were satisfied with your work you pulled back and looked at his face. A thin layer of sweat covered Bin’s skin and he had closed his eyes. His hand clutched your bed sheet and you smiled.

“Was it good?”

You asked in the more innocent tone you could muster.

“Yes, very.”

He pressed the words out rather than saying them. You loved that you could affect him like this. He handed you the condom that had been in his pocket and rolled it on. You loved teasing him and for good measure you took him into your mouth. He gasped and his hand grabbed the sheets tight again as if it was the only thing anchoring him. After a few good sucks you let go, You did not want him to come just yet.

You swung your legs over hips and aligned him with your entrance. He slipped in easily but that did not mean it was bad. The stretch was just right and you moaned quietly. With a whimper your hips came to rest against his. Bin’s hands landed on your thighs and moved up to your hips. He licked his lips. You loved how he looked under you, all big and strong but so at you mercy. His breathing hitched when you tentatively rocked your hips.

Ride me to your hearts content. His words echoed in your mind. Don’t mind if I do.

His hands held onto your hips as you rocked against him, his fingers pressing into your skin. You leaned back a little, changing the angle. The pressure on your g spot increased in this position and you let out a moan.

"Stop."

You froze. Bin sighed in relieve. His thumbs rubbed circles on your hips.

"Everything okay?"

You hoped that you had not hurt him somehow.

"I’m fine it was just really close."

He did not meet your eyes. Bin was embarrassed that he almost came. You leaned forward and kissed him. The kiss was intended to encourage him but it escalated into an intense display of how much you wanted to fuse with one another. He was already in you, how much closer could you get?

"Wanna switch?"

Bin nodded with glazed over eyes.

"Lie on your belly."

You wondered what he had on his mind. Doggy style had its appeal but it was hard to come for you. He guided you to lay down flat and straddled your hips. Okay this is not doggy style. When he slipped into you again, you knew why he want this position. With every thrust he brushed your g spot. His hot breath tickled your neck when he asked: "Do you like it?"

He supported his weight with his arms and slowly slid in and out. It was not exactly the pounding he had promised but damn, it was so much better. You clenched around him for more pressure where you wanted it most, but that was not the best strategy. His thrusts were shallow and you simply pushed him out. You let out an annoyed noise at the loss.

"You’re a little too greed."

He kissed neck as he pushed in again.

"Don’t worry."

His hips moved slowly as before, controlled and patient. "I will make you come."

You involuntarily clenched around him this time. Bin’s slow but steady thrusts build you up but it was nerve-racking. You were so ready to come but the last bit was missing. A little more was all you needed.

"Bin please."

He grunted and sucked on your neck as he sped up. It was still not enough. You wanted to touch your clit to finally come but you could not get your hand down there nor would you be able to move your fingers once you were there. Bin’s thrusts went deeper now not hitting your g spot as often and you wanted to cry. You were so close, just a little more.

He pulled out and you whimpered.

"Bin."

You felt like you were either going to get angry or cry or both. He pushed you and turned you around. Oh, fuck. His face did not have his usual soft smile, instead he was concentred and a fire burned behind his eyes. He ran a hand threw his hair and you got another good look his spectacular body. Those wide shoulders will be the death of me. He did not give you more time to complain, but wrapped your legs around his hips. Your arms crossed behind his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Even though you were technically on the bottom, had more control of his movements now than ever. You used your legs to guide Bin’s hips and now you noticed how strong he was. His hips snapped against your at an ever faster and harder pace. Your fingers tangled in his wet hair. So close. His muscles were really not just for show. Your body tensed and Bin’s movements became more erratic. You arched your back of the bed and you probably pulled out some of his hairs. His thrusts became weaker as you rode out your orgasm and he stopped soon after.

He buried his face in your neck, his breathing going fast. Your legs were a bit shaky but you still wrapped them around him, not ready to let him go yet. His breathing slowed and more of his weight rested on you. You wiggled under him, changing your position slightly.

"Am I too heavy?"

"No, just my boobs are not pillows. It hurts when there is too much pressure on them. Now it’s okay tho."

You stroked his hair and he sighed. It was a little bit too warm for your taste under his body but the weight of Bin on you was comforting, anchoring you to the here and now. He was not as hard anymore, but it still felt good to have him inside you. Bin pressed some lazy kisses to your shoulder. He pushed himself up slowly and slid out. You pouted a little and he explained: “I was gonna fall asleep on you.”

You wanted to say it did not matter but Bin was quite heavy, it would have been hard to breathe. He went to your bathroom and when he came back he lay down next to you.

The atmosphere had changed. You were not sure what would happen now. You had not exactly talked much about it beforehand. Bin looked good in your bed but also very tired.

“What’s gonna happen now?”

At the words a short panic blew away his sleepiness. He studied your face.

“Do you want to go on a date sometime?”

#wkcnet #noonasinnetwork #Astro smut #Astro Moonbin smut # Moonbin x reader #Astro x reader #kpop x reader #Astro fanfic #Astro fics #kpop fanfic #kpop smut #star writing #queue for the lemonade stand

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waitimcomingtoo · 3 years

Text

In Case You Don’t Live Forever

~chapter two rewritten~

Pairing: Peter Parker x Venom!Reader

Synopsis: you are Peters greatest love and Spider-Man’s greatest enemy

Masterlist and Series Masterlist

Moving and finding an apartment can be an incredibly long and stressful process. Unless you’re you, and life likes to throw a lot of curve balls at you for the utter hell of it.

Your dad dropped dead three weeks after you told Andy you were moving to New York. Coincidentally, right in the middle of you trying to find a place to live. He drank himself to death. Figures. You doubted you’d ever had a conversation with him that he was sober enough to remember. His untimely demise was unfortunate for him, because he died or whatever, but very fortunate for you. As his only child, you got his apartment in Queens and all his smelly hoodies.

You said your goodbyes to Andy and Dani after a night out in the streets of San Francisco. You had originally moved there after high school to start your show, The L/n Report. San Francisco was known for its crimes against the homeless population and you wanted to start with a story on that. You ended up interviewing Andy at the police station while investigating a missing person, and dated him for two years. Now, you were spending your last few hours in San Francisco with the very boy you once loved and the very girl he now did.

“Are you all packed?” Dani asked you, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Pretty much. I gotta put my toothbrush and hairbrush in my suitcase in the morning. Other than that, I’m good to go.” You answered her. She smiled fondly at you as she linked her arm through yours.

“Hey, I’m really gonna miss you. More than that guy over there.” You whispered, nodding towards Andy, who had his head buried in his phone. Dani laughed and nodded in agreement as you continued to walk.

“I’m going to miss you too. You’re my best friend here.” She sighed sadly.

“I’m glad we’re friends. Most women in our position would hate each other.” You thought out loud.

“Uh uh. You’re thinking of women in films. It’s 2021, baby. Women support women. You and I are two talented, smart, beautiful women who would never be caught fighting over some boy. Especially not one who can’t take his eyes off his phone for two seconds.” Dani said loudly and smacked Andy’s arm. You laughed at the domestic moment but couldn’t help feeling a pain in your heart knowing he used to be that way with you.

“What, sorry?” Andy looked up. You and Dani looked at him before looking at each other and laughing.

“What’s funny?” He asked, growing annoyed.

“We’re laughing at you babe. Put your phone away. It’s Y/N’s last night here.” Dani scolded playfully. Andy sighed and reluctantly put his phone in his pocket.

“Right, sorry. And it’s not her last night here. She’s coming back. You are coming back, right?” He asked you. You nodded, though you weren’t entirely sure.

“Of course I’ll be back.” You shrugged. “I just want to experience something new for a while. I’ve done a million pieces on homelessness and poverty. I want to see what fresh stories New York has to offer.”

“You’re quoting the Daily Bugle, aren’t you?” Dani teased you.

“That is verbatim what they said to me.” You admitted with a laugh. “But hey, it worked. As of tomorrow, I’m the Daily Bugle’s newest investigative reporter.”

“Who are you reporting on anyway?” Andy showed a rare interest in your work.

“Some guy named Cletus Kasady.” You answered. “He’s some hot shot serial killer down in Queens. No one knows how he’s hiding his victims bodies. Apparently none have ever been close to being found.”

“And they want you to write the story on him?” Andy raised an eyebrow, always with the condescending tone.

“Well they heard about the whole Carlton Drake situation and decided I hadn’t been through enough trauma in my career.” You replied, earning a laugh from Dani but not Andy. You and Andy had already broken up by the time Carlton Drake contracted a symbiote and tried to kill you and Venom. You stopped him before he could hurt anyone and wrote a career defining article on his lethal human experiments. You managed to leave out all information regarding symbiotes from the article, so your secret was still safe. You were a fairly well known reporter since the incident and your next job was waiting for you in New York.

In the morning, You and Venom got on a plane and made your way to New York. Being on a plane with Venom turned out to be the equivalent to traveling with a toddler. You tried to sleep, but every two seconds you had to stop Venom from getting into trouble. She kept trying to open the window, even after you explained to her that everyone on the plane would die horrible death if the window were to open.

“Stop that.” You whispered when you noticed a black tendril creeping towards the window. The lady in the seat next to you shot me a look of confusion. You gave her a fake smile and turned back to the window, doing your best to conceal the small black tendril that was coming out of your body and fidgeting with the airplane window.

“We want it open.” Venom replied telepathically.

“Do you also want us to blow out of the plane and into space?” You said through my teeth.

“We didn’t anticipate that but it’d be appreciated.” Venom answered, making you groan. The rest of the plane ride followed in similar fashion.

Seven hours later, you arrived at the apartment building. You had never been to your dads apartment, you didn’t even know he had one. You wondered what happened to your childhood home as you looked around the place. The apartment wasn’t too small but not too big either. The rent was practically nothing compared to how expensive San Francisco was, and The Daily Bugle offered to cover your expenses until the story was done. You figured after some redecorating and moving in, it would make a fine new home.

The first seven days in the apartment went by smoothly. You unpacked, with little to no help from Venom, and set up the furniture. On the eight day, you sat on the couch, aimlessly flipping through channels in the TV when you had a thought.

“Oh shit.” You said out loud.

“What?” Venom, who was curly nestled around your neck like a neck pillow, asked.

“I forgot mail exists.” You frowned. “We better go check the mailbox before it overflows.”

You and Venom grudgingly walked to the mailboxes and back again. No one was around, so she manifested herself and rested on your shoulder as I looked through the mail.

“Oops. I grabbed someone else’s mail too.” You clicked your tongue when you read a strangers name off the envelope. “I gotta find them.”

“Let’s go.” Venom said and pulled you towards the front door.

“Sorry, babe. This is a me thing, not a we thing. You know I love you but I don’t want to scare our neighbors. Not yet anyway.” You reasoned. Venom grumbled and went back inside your body.

You checked the address of the envelope and discovered that it belonged to the apartment directly across from you.

You knocked on the door and patiently waited for someone to open it as you mindlessly cracked your knuckles. Just as you were about to walk away, the door opened.

“Hi, are you May Parker?” You asked right away. You looked up from the envelope and your face instantly flushed. The person staring back at you definitely wasn’t May Parker. It was a boy around your age, maybe a little younger. He had soft brown eyes and wavy brown hair. It was gelled back loosely and you could see the outline of soft curls. To your surprise, he was just as flushed as you were. You stared at each other for a moment, no one wanting to be the first to blink.

“Yea. I’m May Parker.” The boy said finally. He shut his eyes in embarrassment and shook his head.

“I mean, no I’m not. But that’s my Aunt. May is my Aunt but I’m not May. That’s my Aunt May. I’m her nephew…obviously. Aunt May is my Aunt May. I…what?” He stumbled over his words and somehow turned even redder. His blush reached all the way down his neck, to his blue jumper that read “Midtown Tech” in yellow letters. You recognized the name of one of the most prestigious high schools in New York, already impressed with your new neighbor.

“Well hello, not May Parker. I’m also not May Parker. But I seemed to forget that when I grabbed your mail this morning. Sorry about that.” You said sheepishly as you handed his mail to him. The boy rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at it and attempted to redeem himself.

“It’s not problem. She and I always forget to check the mail so you actually helped us, um, whoever you are.” He smiled weakly. His voice was cute. He had that Queens accent that the people of San Francisco lacked, for obvious reasons.

“Oh, right.” You laughed in embarrassment. “I’m Y/N L/N. I just moved here from San Francisco. I live across the hall.”

You pointed to the door behind you as if he didn’t know what “across the hall” meant. You didn’t know what was wrong with you. You were never this awkward.

His eyes lit up a bit once you told him where you lived.

“Really? I thought that smelly guy lived there.” The boy said and you stifled a laugh.

“That smelly guy was my father. He died a little while ago so I live there now.” You told him, malign the boys eyes widen. They were so brown. Like little pools of honey. Or little pools of the Hudson River. You had seen a million pairs of brown eyes before, but none like his. They were quite distracting to be honest.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry! I had. I had no idea-“ he began to frantically apologize but you cut him off.

“Don’t worry about it. We never got along. And you’re right, that man stank.” You chuckled. It was the first thing you said that felt like your old self. You hadn’t really talked to anyone since moving to New York, with the exception of Venom and the occasional phone call from Andy or Dani. You liked talking to this boy, though you still had no idea who he was.

“Oh thank God. I thought I screwed this up before it even went anywhere.” He immediately turned red when he heard his own words. You saw the regret in his eyes and decided to throw him a bone.

“Well it certainly can’t go anywhere until you tell me your name.” You flirted. Again, he relaxed. You felt a surge of confidence knowing he wanted this to go well.

“Parker. I’m Parker Peter. I mean, Peter Parker.” He fumbled over his words again, making you smile fondly.

“We like him. He’s cute.” Venom said telepathically. You looked down at my shoes and blushed, knowing you liked him too.

“And he looks delicious.” She added, ruining the moment.

“It’s nice to meet you Peter Parker.” You gave him your best smile. “I’m glad there’s someone my age around here. Everyone I’ve met so far is either an old bitty or a creepy uncle type.” You regretted it as soon as it left your mouth. You didn’t know what his sense of humor was like and he might not find you the slightest but funny. Andy always told you you were bad at telling jokes, and you feared he might be right.

Lucky for you, Peter burst out laughing.

“Ah. I’ve seen you’ve met Henry.” Peter pointed a finger down the hall. “Yeah, I’d stay away from him. He asked me if he could have pictures of my feet once. He said he’d “pay me handsomely” for it too.”

“Damn. So he beat me to asking you.” You pretended to be upset, which made Peter laugh again. The sound of his laugh made your heart pick up speed. You weren’t used to feeling like this. Boys rarely impressed you, Andy was just lucky you liked a man in uniform.

“Yeah. You better stay away from him.” Peter advised.

“It might be hard.” You clicked your tongue. “Our mailboxes are pretty close. I’ll make a mental note to never check my mail while wearing flip flops, though.”

Peter smiled at your joke. He had the kind of smile that you would make the person laugh just to see it again. It was brilliant.

“Well my mailbox should be directly above yours. So don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” He grinned, and you grinned back.

“My hero.” You gushed as you put your hands over your heart. The tips of his ears went pink, like he was shocked that you said that.

“I’m no hero.” He sounded almost panicked, like you touched a nerve or something.

“We’re hungry. We need to eat.” Venom interrupted abruptly, causing you to jump. Since Peter couldn’t hear her, he looked at you strangely, not knowing the cause of your sudden jolt.

“Sorry, I uh, I thought I saw a spider.” You lied.

“If there was a spider, we’d eat it. We need food. Now.” Venom demanded.

Peter looked up at his doorframe for the imaginary spider.

“Yeah, New York is full of them.” Peter said skeptically. “Not that full, though. And some spiders are nice. One might even call them friendly.”

“Right.” You laughed at his strange wording, unaware that you were both keeping a secret.

“Would…” Peter began but trailed off, seemingly mulling something over in his head. “Would you like to eat dinner with my Aunt and I? I remember when we first moved in, it took us a while to get into the swing of things and make dinner every night. If you like, you could join us. And, you know, we could get to know each other.” He offered. It all came out in one breath. You could tell he was nervous and that only drew you in more.

“I’d love to Peter.” You said, and he smiled in relief.

“Great.” He gave an awkward thumbs up. “We usually eat around six so maybe come around then? She’ll be so happy to meet you. She loves cooking and she always tries to get me to learn but I once burnt cereal and I still don’t know how.” Peter began to ramble. He cut himself off and shook his head again. “Sorry. I’m rambling.”

Then, you did something stupid. You put your hand on his arm like the dumb bitch you were. You barely knew this guy. Who the hell were you to touch him? He must’ve been thinking the same thing, since he instantly froze under your touch and stared at your hand on his arm.

“Don’t apologize. I can’t cook either. Unless you count making tater tots as cooking. Then I’m Gordon Ramsey.” You assured him, feeling him relax under your touch.

“You’re just gonna mention tater tots without warning us first? Our mouth is watering. Can we eat Peter?” Venom asked, making your eyes widen.

If it was socially acceptable to scream at your symbiote in public, you would’ve yelled “NO, WE CANNOT EAT PETER” from the top of your lungs. But since you didn’t want to scare Peter and the rest of the neighbors away, you merely smiled and made another mental note to smack the shit out of Venom later.

“I love that man. “Where is the lamb sauce?” Peter mimicked in a bad British accent. He had no right being as charming as he was.

“No no no.” You shook your head. “His best line is “I’ll get you more pumpkin and I’ll ram it right up your ass. Would you like it whole or diced?”. He’s said some pretty wild things but that one makes me cry.”

Peters laugh rang through the halls. To be the cause of that laugh was a feeling like no other. You stood there for a while, just looking at each other. His eyes grazed down your body, but not in a crude way. You berated yourself for not dressing better when going to meet the neighbors, clad in nothing but a grey hoodie and some leggings. Peter looked cute, but you had a feeling he always did. His jumper was pretty baggy and you could see a collared shirt poking out the top. He was dressed almost professionally and you found it incredibly endearing.

You wanted to know more about him. You wanted to know his secrets and his hobbies and what makes him itch. You wanted to see if he dresses this way on weekends too or what his summer clothes looked like. Your gawking was interrupted by Peters phone ringing. He broke out of his trance and answered it quickly.

“Hi, Mr. S. No I’m not busy. I mean, I’m super busy but I can totally make time for you. Yea, Happy talked to me. Okay. Okay. Where? Okay. See you in a bit.” Peter hung up and looked at you apologetically.

“That was my job. I have to run but I’ll be back in time for our dinner. I live at…you know where I live. I’ll see you then. Don’t be late.” Peter called as he ran down the hallway, towards the elevator.

“I won’t. See you later.” You called back.

You went back to your apartment and like a kid, broke out into a happy dance.

“Venom!! Did you see how cute he was?” You gushed. “And how funny he is? I have to get ready for tonight.”

Venom manifested and swirled around my arm.

“Someone has a crush.” Venom smirked. Well, as much of a smirk as she could muster with that huge mouth of hers.

“I don’t have a crush. I just think he’s cute okay?” You replied coyly. “Cute. And funny and sweet and charming and amazing. But that’s it.”

“We can feel your heart beat.” Venom reminded you. “It was going ten miles an hour. What would Andy say?”

You had been rummaging through your closet and stopped in your tracks. With Peters new inhabitance in your mind, you had forgotten all about Andy. You moved to New York to avoid his wedding and his moving on, and you might’ve succeeded.

“I don’t care what he’d say.” You decided. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“But we want him to be.” Venom insisted. “We want him back, remember?”

“I don’t know what I want.” You answered honestly. “I just want to get ready for tonight.”

“Why are you getting ready now? You have 5 hours until you have to be there and it’s right across the hall.” Venom teased.

“Only 5 hours?” You sighed. “We better get moving.”

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker x venom!reader #venom!reader #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfiction #iron man

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watchyourbluesturngolden · 3 years

Text

the shrooms cafe

part 1- watermelon tea with strawberry boba

hello everyone 🥺 this is the first series i've ever done so i'm a little nervous but i'm so excited because I really like this story!!!

this is the first part, and I have literally no idea how long it will be because I don't have a solid plan/outline yet! so feel free to send little concepts or things you would like to see included 🥺 i can't guarantee they will be added but i'll definitely try my best :)

shrooms cafe masterlist

my masterlist

warnings: none

word count: 2k

"Stella, we have to leave in 10 minutes!" You called up the stairs. "Come down so you can eat breakfast!" "Yeah Stella, hurry up!" Seraphina yelled from her spot at the dining table. She was finishing up her fruit loops with a grin on her face. "You're going to make us late!" As the youngest, she often liked to bother her sisters. She was only five, just starting kindergarten, but she was already a master at getting under their skin.

"Sera, don't antagonize your sister, please," you reminded her. "She's not going to make us late." Sophie rolled her eyes. "Seraphina, you're so immature." Despite only being 11, Sophie was clearly the mother hen. You sometimes joked that the girls didn't even need you; Sophie would take on the role of their mother with no problem. "Besides, you were the one who made us late yesterday." "It's not my fault I couldn't find my purple socks. What was I supposed to do?" "Maybe wear different socks?" Sophie suggested smugly. "You know I need my purple socks, otherwise I can't write my words!" Sophie rolled her eyes again. "You don't need a certain color socks to write." "Yes I do!" You smiled to yourself, turning back to the fridge as the two bickered. You pulled out the ingredients you would need to make their lunches, then reached up on your tiptoes to get their lunch bags from the top of fridge. "Okay girls, what kind of sandwiches do you want today?" "Peanut butter and jelly!" Seraphina said excitedly. "Why did I even ask?" You smiled. "And Sophie?" "Turkey please, but I can make it myself," She said, sliding off her chair and bringing the breakfast dishes to the sink. "Thank you, love," you said, leaning over to kiss the top of her head. "You are such a big help in the mornings, I don't know what I would do without you." "You would have a real handful dealing with those two," She said matter-of-factly. "That I would," you laughed, handing her a butter knife. "Stella!" you called again. The 8 year old came running down the stairs, carrying her backpack and another bag. "Did you forget I have dance today?" "I did not forget," you reassured her. She liked to plan things, and got worried quickly if she wasn't kept in the loop. "I'll pick you up at the door by the playground, does that work?" "Actually, I was wondering if I could walk today? A bunch of my friends do, and I feel kind of weird having my mom drop me off." "That should be fine," You nodded. "But stay with the group, don't go off by yourself." "I won't," she groaned, rolling her eyes. "You're so overprotective." "Oh yes, I'm so sorry for trying to keep you safe," you laughed. "Now what do you want for lunch?" Once everything was ready, the four of you made your way out to the car. Stella climbed into the back, and Sophie helped Seraphina get buckled. Even though the three of them bickered a lot (as sisters often do) it wasn't hard to see how much they loved each other. "Everybody buckled?" You asked, looking behind you. When you heard a chorus of confirmation, you started your playlist and smiled when the opening notes of Adore You filtered through the speakers. It was easily one of your favorite songs, and the girls liked it just as much as you did. It wasn't a long drive to the cafe; it took about 15 minutes if traffic was good. The girls' school bus stopped about a block away, so they walked there together every morning. Then after school, they would come back to the shop and read books or finish homework until it was time to close up and go home. You parked in the lot behind the shop, helping the girls out of the car and making sure they had all their things. Seraphina held out her hand, and Stella grabbed it to help her jump over a puddle on the sidewalk. Sophie gasped excitedly. "I think that was the biggest jump you've ever done!" The girls promptly launched into a discussion about who could jump farther as you unlocked the door. As soon as it was open, they made their way over to the mushrooms to find some books for the day. Their voices filled the shop as they chatted about school and the cute boy Stella liked and the kitten they had seen outside their house the other day. You went about your morning duties, flipping on the lights and starting up the coffee machine. You also turned on the oven, preparing to bake the muffins. (They were frozen- who has the time to bake them fresh? Certainly not a mother of 3.) Once the kitchen was ready, you went over to the radio and tuned it to a familiar station, the soft

music adding some pleasant background noise. "Okay girls, it's time to get to the bus stop," you said, leaning over the counter to speak to them. "Don't forget, I'm walking to dance," Stella said, pointing at you as she walked to the door. "I won't forget," you said, pointing back at her. "Have a good day!" "Bye mom," Seraphina waved her small hand at you. "Bye honey, bye Sophia," You smiled, blowing a kiss to the three of them. "See you later!" Once the three of them were gone, you went around to the shelves and straightened up, getting ready for your first customers.

-----

After the lunch rush had dwindled down and the shop was nearly empty again, you were getting ready to go on your lunch break. You had just leaned down to grab a sandwich from the deli case when the bell above the door jingled, alerting you that a new customer had come in. You straightened up, your eyes going wide when you realized who it was, but you quickly fixed your face and smiled. "Welcome to the Shrooms Cafe!" "Hello," the man smiled back, speaking in a deep British accent. "I saw your sign for boba tea, and I've been looking everywhere to find some. You're the third shop I've been to today, so I'm really hoping you're not sold out like everywhere else," he grinned, coming closer to the counter. "No, we're not out! What kind did you want?" You asked. "Um... probably should have thought about that before I came in," he laughed nervously, looking at the menu above your head. "Oh, don't worry about it, we're not busy right now," you said reassuringly. “Take all the time you need.” He smiled gratefully, stepping off to the side while he read the menu. Meanwhile, you fidgeted with towels and wiped off the work surfaces and tried to pretend you weren’t staring at him. Who could blame you, really? Harry Styles had just walked into your coffee shop. Who wouldn’t stare? “I think…” he spoke again, breaking you out of your trance. “I’ll do the watermelon tea, with strawberry boba, please.” You nodded, laughing lightly. He quirked one eyebrow, smiling along with you. “What’s funny?” “Oh, no, it’s just… of course you would order the one with watermelon.” “Oh,” he smiled, and you thought you detected a hint of a blush on his cheeks. “I guess I do have a bit of a reputation with fruit, don’t I?” “Just a little,” you grinned. “One watermelon tea with strawberry boba, coming right up.” After ringing up the order, you quickly got to work. Instead of his real name, you wrote “watermelon man” on the sticker on the cup. Hopefully he would appreciate your little joke. “Here you are,” you smiled. “I hope it’s good, seeing as you worked so hard to find some.” “I’m sure it’ll be amazing,” he laughed, grabbing a straw from beside the cash register. You also noticed he had dropped a generous tip into the jar, probably while you had been busy making the drink. “Have a nice day,” you smiled. “You as well,” he said with a small wave before he made his way out the door, sipping his drink as he went. You sighed, shaking your head with a small grin as you grabbed the sandwich from earlier and went to a table for your lunch break.

-----

“Hi mom!” Sophie yelled, holding open the door for Seraphina. “Hi girls!” You called from the back corner of the shop. “I’m by the mushrooms!” The girls quickly found you, Seraphia hugging you and Sophie situating herself on one of the short stools. “How was your day?” You asked. “Good! I gave my report on monarch butterflies and guess what Mrs. Wilson said?” Sophie asked, leaning forward. “What did she say?” “She said it was the best report she had heard all day. She waited until the other kids left so they wouldn’t feel bad, but still,” she said proudly. “Oh wow! I’m so proud of you,” you said, moving over to hug her. “What did I tell you? You can do anything you put your mind to,” you smiled. “Including writing the best report in the whole class, hmm?” She nodded happily before turning away from you to pull a book off the shelf closest to her. “Which one are you starting now?” You asked, leaning over her shoulder to see the book she had. “Anne of Green Gables,” she said. “Oh, I loved those books when I was your age,” you smiled. “I think you’ll really like them.”

She nodded, already immersed in the book. You turned back to Seraphina, who was pulling her folder out of her backpack. “And how was your day, miss Seraphina?” “It was so good, look!” She handed you a paper with two gold stars at the top. “My teacher gave me two gold stars. She said my writing was very good!"

"All that practicing we did must have worked, then!" you said, beaming as you looked at her letters. They were still wobbly, but a huge improvement over how they had been at the beginning of the school year.

She nodded. "And then I colored this picture for you!” She handed you another page. This one had a drawing of you holding hands with her, Sophie, and Stella. The three of you had big smiles and lots of adorable little details. Stella had her hair in a bun and was wearing ballet shoes. Sophie was holding a book in her free hand. Seraphina had drawn herself wearing a shirt with a cat (her favorite animal) on it, and she was wearing her purple socks. Lastly, there was you, holding a cup of coffee and wearing a shirt with a big red heart on it. “Since you like coffee so much,” she explained. “It's beautiful,” you smiled, hugging her. “We’ll hang it on the fridge when we get home, okay?” “Okay,” she agreed. “Why don’t you find a book and read with Sophie for a little bit? We have just over an hour, then we have to go get Stella from dance.” She nodded, handing you the papers and her backpack before running over to the shelves. She grabbed a picture book, settling into the red cushion in the tree and beginning to flip through the pages.

----- “Alright girls, it’s time to pick up Stella,” you said as you wiped off the counter one last time. You had already turned off all the machines and packed up everything else for the day. You flipped the lights off on the way out, smiling a bit when you saw the hand painted sign for boba tea in the window. Harry came into your mind again, with his easy smile, his kind words, and his blushing laugh. You really hoped you would see him again, even though you knew you probably wouldn't. Your shop wasn't very big or well known. How likely was it for him to come to the same little shop in the middle of London again? Still, it didn’t hurt to hope. Maybe he would decide to try the other flavors and stop in again. Your smile spread even further when you started your playlist and Lights Up was the first song to come on. Apparently, it was going to be hard to forget about him.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles/you fanfiction #harry styles x reader fanfiction #harry styles/reader fanfiction #harrystylesxyou #harry styles x you fanfiction #harrystylesxreader #harry styles/reader #harry styles/you #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry fanfiction #the shrooms cafe

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wyn-n-tonic · 3 years

Text

Oceans in the Desert

Word Count: 1,176 Warning: This is a couple dealing with the loss of a child, that is the theme. It is softness wrapped in grief. I am including an author's note at the end because what I have to say can also be triggering and I don't want to put that just out here and potentially harm or isolate somebody. Anyway, if you're reading this I love you and if you continue on, I love you. But if this subject matter is too triggering? Guess what! I love you.

Gif by: @aomine-dajki.

He’s…changed.

Since losing the baby, he’s changed.

It shouldn’t be shocking, there are two people feeling this sudden absence and it is a fire consuming the tangled branches of their lives. But she is, at first. The hard exterior he usually sported had begun to soften. It always was around her. But everybody else? He was no longer the strong Din. And in her arms? He was completely shattered.

She’s changed too. Resolute in the belief that a loving and full family wasn’t where her role was meant to be played. She expected his face to change when looking at her. Imagined him twisting away from her. But if it changed at all, it was only with the gentle understanding of shared sadness.

Their grief came in unspoken shifts. Hers flowing freely in the light, an open book adding new chapters to the pages he knew so well. His came softly in the night, the darkness veiling him in the same safety of his uniform, allowing him to become free.

Life pattered on in a four-four beat and so, too, did their graceful dance. Families are torn apart every day and the world doesn’t stop. The world won’t stop for them either, it can’t. To process is to work. To tinker. To lead, not to lean. It’s always been like that, the orphan and the runaway. But where they used to hold themselves, they now hold each other.

He became reckless, helmet tossed to the side. He traded the armor for vulnerability, seeking a different kind of anonymity in the eyes of the world.

“I think I’m done with this,” he whispered, “Ana, I can’t do this anymore.”

Her breath caught behind the ever-present lump in her throat, forcing her upward in shock. She looked towards the rough outline of him at the edge of the bed, heart leaping forward as the gunshot signaling the start of the race rang heavy in her ears.

This is it.

“Din, I—“ What does she say? She never was a beggar but this is different. She wasn’t losing him too. “I didn’t mean for it to all fall apart like this. I didn’t mean t—“

“What?” He turns suddenly and cradles her tear stained cheek in his hand, his heartbeat radiating through his palms. “Stars, did you thin—“

But she’s already nodding into his hand, holding his wrist in a vice grip refusing to lose his touch. He’s a space heater and that warmth’s not lost in the gentle laugh that escapes him now. It’s the sweetest sound the living quarters have heard in weeks.

“No.” He’s pressing that soft pout to her forehead. “Never.” The tip of her nose. “My sweet girl.” Her lips.

Water wells heavy in relief on her lids but, still, she says, “I'm sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, I—“ he pulls her to his chest and swallows hard, unable to keep looking into those big eyes still wild with the fear of fresh loss. “We are fragile. I should’ve chosen my words with care, I’m sorry. What I meant was that I can’t keep bowing out and acting like everything is normal.”

He stops, a ragged breath drawn into tired lungs.

“I don’t understand, Din.”

The quaking starts from somewhere deep within him, somewhere far below his sternum. Hollow where his soul should be, as if reaching in and seeking it out would produce nothing but empty air. The same vacancy has carved through her.

His tears fall like stars in the galaxy of her hair.

He waits five beats of his exhausted heart to steady himself before he speaks again, somehow softer, “I can’t continue to run and hunt and hide like this. I cannot keep living in transience and call that healing from my trauma and I won’t let you either.”

“You want a different life? With me?”

“I want a normal life. With you.”

“Din,” she’s pulling back, hands finding his face in the dim light, “What about the Creed? The Guild?”

He pushes a loose strand of hair behind her ears and when he speaks again, he is completely calm. Firm. Resolved.

“I will no longer be bound by rules I did not create.”

Her eyes are searching his, looking for a shred of doubt but there’s none to be found. His mind’s made up but, “Din, you’ve spent thirty-something yea—“

“Fuck the Creed, Ana. The only good thing they ever brought me was my family,” a ragged breath draws through him once more, “but they’re the reason we lost our son. I will not do this anymore. I will not do this to you anymore. We both deserve stability after what we’ve been through.”

The pad of her thumb runs across the curve of his cheek, the constant tears doing in weeks what usually takes years. Her man, her mountain of a man, has been reshaped in front of her. "Where will we go?”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Somewhere green. I think he liked green.”

He nods, sadder still. “I think so too. I wish I could’ve asked him.”

“I wish for so many things, Din. I would’ve waited centuries just to hear his little voice. What do you think his first word would’ve been?”

He laughs again and it fills the emptiness of the room, of them. “Well, he spent all his time with us so my credits would be on, ‘Fuck.’”

Her laughter bubbles up, lilting in time with his as they imagine their sweet boy, beaming up at them with his little teeth and wide eyes.

“And the thing is, Ana,” he’s settling down, chest rising and falling at a normal pace now, “I wouldn’t even have admonished him. I wouldn’t have denied that boy a goddamn thing.”

“No,” she brushes his overgrown curls to the side, “neither would I. He had us wrapped around his finger the moment he came into our orbit.”

His heart visibly sinks, “Laughing makes me feel guilty.”

“Yeah,” she bites her lip and pulls him into her, allowing gravity to take them both to bed, “it makes me feel guilty too."

“I keep wondering if this pain will ever end and then, in fleeting moments, I forget there was ever pain to begin with. Then it hits me all over again because I don’t want to forget him.”

“No, my love, I don’t want to either. They say forgetting is the ultimate loss. I won’t let you do that.” She takes a deep breath as her fingers tangle into the wilds that have claimed his crown. “Promise me that you won’t let him slip away from me either.”

He pulls her closer, wringing out what little space is left between their bodies. Lips finding hers in the gentlest kiss as salt water mixes in the shared space of home, he whispers, “I promise you.”

One day, the pain may subside into a dull ache. One day, it may even go away altogether. But for now?

The sobs that shook their bodies could’ve filled oceans in the desert.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

This was one of the hardest, most cathartic things I've ever written. I lost a child when I was twenty-two and I did it all by myself while surrounded by people who said they loved me. I wrote this the way that I did because it's how I wanted my ex partner to behave, I wanted him to care and cry with me and he didn't. His reaction made me believe that nobody else would care or cry with me either. I stayed silent in my grief for years. I used to feel like losing that pregnancy made me a failure but when I finally opened up about it the amount of love and support I received was everything that I had been craving. If you are suffering through this grief alone, I promise you that you're not and I hope that the people you are surrounded by give you the love and the care that you deserve. I hope that the people around you cry with you. You're not a failure, you never have been.

#din djarin #the mandalorian #grogu #fanfic #fanfiction #star wars #sir i am crying because i will never be grogu's mother #pedro pascal #loss #ofc #original female character #baby yoda

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