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fanfic-scribbles · 2 years

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All I Want For Christmas Is...

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Summary: What do you get a man who doesn’t seem to want anything? No, really, you’re asking. Bucky is terrible to shop for. Thankfully (or not) he doesn’t seem to have a lot of good memories, so you set out to help him make better ones, all while making sure he never finds out about your crush on him. Fool proof. …You hope.

Quick facts: Romance – Bucky Barnes/Reader – Nondescript Reader

Tags: Fluff, Friends to lovers, the love is requited they’re both just idiots, Reader & Steve Rogers friendship, Christmas fic, Christmas tropes, Christmas romance, you want Christmas I got the Christmas, except for the actual religious stuff, a very secular Christmas I guess, cultural Christmas?, Idk anymore merry whatever

Words: 8974

A/N: I started writing this last year and never got to finish it in time for Christmas. I found it again, really liked what I had, and scrambled to eke out an ending. I hope you’re having a good December, whatever you’re doing, and may next year be better for all of us ♥

You are on a mission.

“What about that one?”

“Eh…”

It’s not going great.

“Steve, seriously,” you say and sigh, putting the catalogue on the table. “You're his best friend; can you please help me out?”

“You’re his best friend too,” Steve says defensively.

“Not like you are.”

“That’s not true.”

It absolutely is, but Steve can be stubborn at even the most inconsequential of times, and you decide (reluctantly) that it isn’t in your best interest to argue with the man who’s supposed to be helping you. “Supposed to be” being the key phrase here, because you are no closer to finding a good Christmas gift for Bucky than you were yesterday. Or the day before. Or…

“What did you get him?”

Steve shrugs. “I found some old recipe books I thought he might like, since he seems to be enjoying learning to cook.”

“Damn, that’s good,” you say. One of the problems in shopping for Bucky is that he keeps trying out new hobbies. Most of them he tries just for the novelty, but a few have stuck. Cooking and baking are the newest but he really seems enjoy them. Of course Steve would figure that out where you couldn’t. That’s why he’s the best friend. “And he’s too fussy about his cooking supplies.”

Steve smiles wryly. “That’s why I went for books.”

“I can’t do books. That’s cheating now,” you grumble and lean back in your chair.

“You are one of his best friends,” Steve says and sips his coffee. “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

“I’m terrible at gifts though! I gave him candy for his birthday, Steve.”

“Specialty candy that actually meant something to him.”

You cross your arms. “He didn’t even eat it. I found it in his drawer just last week, completely untouched. Pristine.”

Steve squints. “You–”

“Yeah, yeah; ‘violation of privacy,’ blah blah blah. I’m desperate!” you say and lean forward. “I’ve been able to scrape something together for everyone else this year but it’s already December first and I have nothing for Bucky. He’s my best friend! And somehow completely immune to materialism! It’s terrible!”

Steve smiles. You glare at him. “And you,” you say pointedly. “You said you would help me.”

At that, he does look chagrined, and then slides into being thoughtful. Or conniving. It’s hard to tell the difference with him, sometimes. “I think you might be putting too much weight on this,” Steve says. “Even if you don’t give him anything, the fact that you’ll be at the get-together means a lot to him.”

“He invited me to a party where he is supplying the food and drink,” you say. And while the fact that Bucky can’t handle potlucks is completely understandable given all his varied trauma, it also acts as the rock to your hard place in this, the season of giving. Wait– on second thought, that candy was an even worse gift than you realized. You put your head in your hands. “I fucking hate Christmas.”

“Easy, Scrooge,” Steve says and chuckles.

“A merry bah humbug to you.”

Steve pats your hand consolingly but he’s quiet for several seconds– just long enough for you to slink further into inconsiderate misery– until he says, “Hey.”

“Hey” from Steve Rogers is a danger sound. A clarion of terrible ideas and bad tidings for anyone else around him. “Hey” from Steve Rogers has made an entire room of Avengers freeze up, made Natasha seriously consider giving up her life to escape to a convent, and given Bucky an aneurysm more times than he can count he has assured you. More personally, a “Hey” from Steve Rogers once almost got you arrested slash killed and did get you maybe a little bit kidnapped and pissed Bucky off so much he gave Steve the silent treatment for a week.

But…you’re desperate. And a “hey” from Steve Rogers is, at least, always interesting. “What,” you say warily, even though at this point all you’re trying to do is fish for ideas.

“Bucky doesn’t like things so much as he likes doing things,” Steve says. “So what if you take him out?”

That’s surprisingly reasonable and level-headed and much more boring than you were expecting. Until you realize what he means and you feel like reaching across the table and grabbing him by his stupidly-large throat. “You swore you would never–”

“I’m not, I’m not!” Steve waves you off (and slides his chair back an inch or two). “I haven’t said anything!” He frowns. “I think it’s stupid that you won’t just come out with it–”

“Steve.”

“–But I recognize that’s not my call to make,” Steve says and lifts his head imperiously. “For the record though, it is stupid.” He puts his hand up before you can tell him what you think. “He’s not materialistic. But he’s lacking in good memories. So, as his “friend,” wouldn’t it be nice to help him make some special ones?”

“I hang out with him all the time though,” you say, but despite yourself, that doesn’t sound like a terrible idea. You do hang out with Bucky as much as you are both physically able, so why not hang out with him while doing things that are a bit more…special? As friends of course. You rue the day Steve ever found out about your crush on your shared best friend as he has yet to let you live it down, and you are going to make sure no one else ever finds out about it. “But maybe some…holiday-ish things wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Whatever you think, Bucky does love hanging out with you,” Steve says and smiles at you warmly. He has a lot more faith in the idea of a romantic relationship between you and Bucky and it makes you squirm. Things are good now. They’re so good and you are going to do absolutely nothing to ruin that.

“It’s probably just because I, at least, don’t go running headlong into fights, and haven’t made Charles Xavier consider retirement, and neither do I get my friends kidnapped.”

“Okay, I apologized for that last one a hundred times and it wasn’t really my fault–”

There are approximately seventy billion things to do during the winter according to the number of lists on Pinterest and Google, but the number may be between ten and thirty, gauging by how many of the same carry-overs you find across all these varied lists. From those you’ve made a list of your own, full of the things Bucky might actually like to do.

‘Might’ being the operative word– you don’t know if he’ll go for sledding or ice skating but you have them down just in case he shows interest. You wrote down ‘caroling’ mostly for shits and giggles and quickly crossed it out. Some of the other ones– baking, sipping hot cocoa together, watching Christmas movies– are all things you’re pretty sure you’d do with him normally, but you wrote them down anyways. Because they sound like fun.

And if they’re also good excuses to cuddle…well, Bucky is very touchy-feely and you never (ever) turn that down.

“Here you go.”

You take the mug of hot chocolate with a grateful smile and scoot over a little bit to give Bucky some room when he sits down next to you. However he just leans in closer and…you don’t try to move again. “So, what’s this about?” he asks and takes a loud slurp of his drink.

You clear your throat and sit up. “So I’m making a list–”

“Are you checking it twice?” Bucky asks and steals a marshmallow from your cup even though his pile sticks up over the top of his cup.

“You’re not funny,” you say, even though you’re trying really hard not to smile (while you also try to protect the rest of your marshmallows).

“I’m hilarious,” he says. His smile is sly and you pretend you don’t see him coming just to be able to focus on it, even though he’s going to look like a squirrel soon and you won’t have any marshmallows left. It’ll be worth it.

“Back to the subject,” you say and clear your throat pointedly. You wish you had papers to thump, but as it is you wiggle your phone. “I thought, since you’re okay with being Christmas-adjacent, we would do some Christmas-y things this year.”

“I did Christmas-y things last year,” Bucky says. “This isn’t my first year out in the world.”

“I know, but I don’t know all the things you’ve done, so I made a list of my favorites,” you say. “Are you in?”

His gaze is so fond it makes your heart ache. “You know I am.”

You clear your throat, and get on with what’s important here:

1. Put up decorations 2. Bake

Bucky squints at you. “I was gonna do those anyway.”

You hug his arm. “But I’m going to do them with you. Friendly bonding.”

“Oh,” Bucky says. He smiles, and goes back to reading

3. Hot cocoa by the fire

“Check,” Bucky says. You pinch him.

4. Ice skating

“Nope,” Bucky says and hits the check box, crossing it out.

“You’re not even going to pretend to humor me?” you say.

“Nope,” Bucky says even more emphatically.

You laugh and delete the line. “Fine by me. Now I don’t have to humiliate myself.”

“…Wait–”

“Too late!”

5. Letter to Santa

Bucky moves to check that one too but you move the phone away. “No,” you say. “It’s cute and fun and you’ve never done it in your life. Consider it part of your bucket list.”

Bucky glowers at you. “My bucket list is cooler than that.”

“Well then making you write a letter to Santa is part of my bucket list,” you say.

“I’m not mailing a letter to a fictional creeper,” Bucky grumbles.

“You don’t actually have to mail it.” You poke his side. “Now stand down.”

He settles back down with a, “Does Steve know you're going for his job?” and you aggressively snuggle into him like he’s the world’s most stubborn pillow. He’s certainly the mouthiest.

6. Sledding???

You wait, expecting an argument, but nothing comes. Bucky looks pensive, but when you stare at him he shrugs and admits, “That could be fun.”

You beam. “Can we steal Steve’s shield?”

“Tempting, but we’d go way too fast,” Bucky says.

“But it’d bug the hell out of him.”

“…I’ll think about it.”

7.Snowball fight

Bucky clicks his tongue. “I don’t wanna take you out like that.”

“I’m amazing at snowball fights,” you say. Maybe it’s a bit of a stretch, but you won’t just let him take the win without trying for it. “I’d slaughter you.”

Bucky lets out a low whistle. “You sure you wanna challenge me like that?”

“I’m going to end you.”

8. Christmas movies 9.Christmas music

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Not like we can get away from those.”

You roll your eyes right back at him. “We’re going to enjoy them and that’s that.”

10. Tree-lighting ceremony???

“No,” Bucky says softly but firmly. He clears his throat. “Not that you can’t. It’s just…I’m not comfortable with big crowds right now. Gonna try and steer clear where I can.”

“Okay,” you say and scribble out a few other selections. Maybe next year, maybe not. It doesn’t matter, as long as Bucky’s comfortable.

11. Donate unwrapped toys

“We can do that at an off time,” you say. “We’ll buy a couple of presents and then drop them off.”

“I like that one,” Bucky says thoughtfully.

12. Wrap presents together

“But then I’ll know what you got me.”

Bucky’s joking, but the reminder that you don’t have a real gift for him makes you freeze up. For just a moment, because he’s smiling and he winks at you and you still have a couple of weeks to dredge into desperation. For now, you’re going to pretend that all is right.

“Except for each others’ gifts,” you say and amend the list to say as much. “Happy now?”

“No,” he says and scowls, though the smile tugging at his lips lets you know otherwise.

“Good,” you say and lift your cup. “We’ll start tomorrow.”

You don’t know why you thought this was a good idea.

“Are these things sentient?” Bucky grumbles and tries to untangle his fingers from the never-ending string of lights.

“They wouldn’t be so tangled if you put them away right last year,” you say and gingerly pick up another ornament to put it back in its case.

Bucky grunts and manages to get his hand free. He looks up at you. “We don’t even have a tree yet.”

The ‘we’ makes your heart do a flip, even though the tree wouldn’t be yours. Not like that. “I’m just putting them away. We don’t want any more of them to break,” you say and shoot him a quick smile. He grins back, and you quickly duck your head.

It takes entirely too long to decorate a one-bedroom apartment, but you and Bucky manage at last to hang some lights, stars, snowflakes, and a twisted-looking snowman that he insists should go in the garbage– so of course you put it on the wall opposite his bed.

“I’m going to have to see that thing every time I wake up,” he whines.

“Yup!” You put your arm around his shoulders. “Now that it’s festive, we can get to the good stuff.”

Bucky perks up a little bit. “Cookies?” he asks, sweet-tooth fully activated.

You nod. “Cookies.”

You act as assistant to Bucky’s master baker, but that’s more than fair considering this is his home and he is very particular about how his things are handled– again, more than fair. Bucky may not be materialistic in the ‘easy to buy for’ sense but he has a strong attachment to the things he does own. Also? Bucky is turning out to be really, really good in the kitchen no matter what he tries to make, and it’s all you can do to wait for these cookies to bake and set so they can get frosted and, most importantly, eaten.

You sit at the breakfast bar and watch Bucky move around. What he’s doing you don’t really know– you’re not paying that close of attention. What catches your eye is how he moves so smoothly, pulling out supplies quickly because he knows where everything is, turning his back to the door without giving it a wary look-see, flashing you a brilliant smile over his shoulder before focusing on whatever task is at hand.

You’ve known him since he was healed enough to reach out to new people and even from that he’s come so far. He’s amazing, in every sense of the word, and now he’s here hanging out with you, in his warm, cozy home, and yet something in you aches for…more.

Bucky’s suddenly in front of you and you blink but keep from jolting back. The cartoon face of his Frosty the Snowman apron peeks just barely over the counter as Bucky leans closer. “What’s on your mind?” he asks and even throws his messy dishtowel over his shoulder like a bartender about to have a heart-to-heart.

You smile. There’s no level of drunk enough that will get you to burden Bucky with your feelings, but you knock twice on the counter to play along. “Hit me.”

He produces a mug of something covered in whipped cream. You don’t know yet what it is but you’re sure it will be delicious, especially when Bucky winks and says, “Special.”

“Always is,” you say and try to ignore the way his cheeks flush at that.

He waits a few seconds to ask, “So what’s wrong?” but still you are completely unprepared to answer, even though you knew it was coming.

“Nothing,” you say even as you chew on that question.

He scowls at you, but there’s a lightness there and all you can do is smile. Bucky is so good, so strong, and you’re just…you. Sometimes you don’t quite know why he seems to like hanging out with you. What does a normal human have to offer a man who’s lived a multitude of lives in a hundred years, and broken through trauma that everyone expected to break him? And yet he sits with you on the couch and makes fun of bad movies, and helps you put a new bookcase together, and lets you play with his hair when you’re bored, and takes you out for coffee when you’ve had a bad day. Steve may be his number one (for good reason), but Bucky is definitely your best friend.

And yet.

“Do you ever think about all the good stuff you have and still want…more?” you ask, unsure if you should, but it seems safe (vague) enough. “Not something different, but still more?”

Bucky scoffs. “All the damn time,” he says and rolls his shoulders. “I’m real greedy. But,” he says before you can correct him, “…you always say that isn’t the worst thing.”

“True,” you say. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. So far it hasn’t hurt anything, and you’re inclined to let sleeping dogs lie. You raise your cup. “Can I be greedy for more of this?”

“When the cookies come out,” Bucky says and hits his mug to yours. You drink, and let yourself settle. Bucky relaxes with you, until he eventually remembers to get the cookies before they can burn and turns to the oven all swearing and grumbling. You laugh, supportive best friend you are, and take a stupid photo of yourself making a dumb face for the camera while Bucky’s bent over the oven in the background. It’s the kind of photo you’d post to social media, if Bucky was comfortable with that, but since he’s not you’re just going to send the photo to Steve and Sam with a pithy little caption.

As you try to think of one, though, another idea pops up. And it’s…pretty decent. Steve has had some time to collect some photos, especially since everyone and their mom (and grandmoms, and great– well, you know) wants a picture with Captain America, and he’s gotten a lot more comfortable with the kinds of photos his friends like to take. Bucky though is highly distrustful and makes sure he’s scarce for any sort of public group photos. He only lets you take them because you’ve sworn a blood oath to never put them up for other people.

You file the photo away into a new folder and when he puts the plate in front of you you snap a few pictures– “I’m making everyone else jealous,” you claim, and while you do send one photo to the group chat, you take a moment to quickly open a new tab in your browser and type in, ‘how to make a scrapbook.’

“We’re doing them out of order.”

You roll your eyes and hold up Bucky’s jacket. “I put them in the order I thought of them, not in the order we’re doing them. Come on; getting the shopping done now is going to be less of a pain in the ass than if we wait long enough to have to contend with deadbeat dads and estranged cousins.”

Bucky grumbles but he puts the jacket on and doesn’t whine all the way to the store. When you get there it’s…a little crowded for first thing in the day, but it’s manageable, and if Bucky clings to you like you’ll get swept away in the masses…well, better safe than sorry.

He does relax a little bit when you get to the toy section. Relax in the sense of being way more overwhelmed by the number of toys than the amount of people, but you’ll take it. “Jesus; how are we supposed to pick?”

“Narrow down by excluding things that are too cheap or too expensive, and then start picking stuff that looks neat,” you say and start down an aisle.

“Is ‘neat’ a scientific measurement or a mathematic one?” Bucky asks dryly but follows closely behind you.

You roll your eyes and stop in between displays. “It’s like…” You grab one of the medium stuffed animals and show it to him. “Look at this. Small, squishy, utterly adorable.” You reach over to grab a promising Nerf gun off the end display. “This? Awesome. Great color combo. Super fucking fun.” You put them both back so you can look at the other options and make a more informed decision. Right now, you are merely making a point. “Very different options but they’ll both be distributed to kids who’ll love them. So yeah– look for ‘neat’ stuff.”

Bucky nods and looks thoughtful, but he just follows and nods his assent to most of your choices, only picking between two when you’re really stuck– and even then he says ‘both’ most of the time. He’s not super into the Nerf guns, unsurprisingly, and he’s lost on most of the dolls, except when he grabs one and mutters about how his neighbors’ grandkids would really love them, so he grabs a few from that line and you stick them in the seat of the cart to keep them separate.

It’s when you get to the action figures –namely, the small section of Captain America figures– that Bucky turns to you with a sly grin and says, “Oh, we are so getting some of these.”

You laugh out loud and watch as he starts to dismantle the shelf.

In the end you actually got a fairly good mix of things for kids to enjoy and the Captain America merchandise was only about twenty percent of it. It was mostly a way for you and Bucky to annoy Steve– you have so many photos and you didn’t even have to sneak any candids in. Operation: Christmas Scrapbook has had an unexpected windfall and you could not be more pleased.

“Nice that we don’t have to wrap all those,” Bucky says when you get back to his place after dropping everything off. “But maybe we should start working on wrapping the gifts we do have.”

“After tomorrow,” you say and flop on the couch. It’s late after shopping and lunch and trucking in a ton of toys to a drop box too small to fit them all. “The thing I ordered for Natasha isn’t coming in until then.”

“Ah.” Bucky falls back onto the couch next to you. Almost on top of you, and you playfully shove him only for him to playfully shove right back. You think people would be shocked at how gentle he can be, and you feel smugly superior that you get to know. “What’d you get her?”

“A set of make-up brushes styled to look like various weapons,” you say. “Even if she keeps using her favorites, I think she’ll get a kick out of it.”

“That’s really good,” Bucky says. He swings his arm behind you on the couch and grins at you. “Did mine come in yet?”

“I have most of yours,” you say, because it’s sort of true. You have been taking a lot of pictures, and tomorrow you’re going to steal out to a craft store for the supplies you need to put it all together.

“How much are you getting me?” Bucky asks, looking slightly panicked.

You laugh and for a moment you imagine kissing his worries away, and you suddenly choke because where did that come from, that sort of thing is supposed to be buried deep in your subconscious, only for eldritch gods and maybe therapy to know. You wave Bucky’s worried hand away. “Sorry– choked on air.”

“You're such a disaster,” Bucky chuckles, though he rests his hand on your back and rubs lightly.

“You have no idea,” you say with a smile that feels brittle.

“You know I do,” he says.

You know he doesn’t– not quite– and you intend to keep it that way. “Anyway,” you say. “I didn’t really get you that much. I just have to–” Wait a minute. “Hey. Hey.”

“What? I was just agreeing with you,” Bucky says, opening his eyes so wide, pouting so innocently you immediately smash a pillow into his face. He breaks and laughs, and soon you are under nonstop attack from a man just as deadly with a pillow as he is with anything else.

“I give, I give!” you laugh and wave your arms wildly.

He stops assailing you with couch pillows and, while you try to breathe, helps you sit up. “You started it,” he says.

“Yeah, yeah,” you grumble. You’re still smiling, so it’s not very effective, and as you’re about to tell him off for trying to wheedle more details out of you, your phone chimes. Just a glance makes you jump. “Shit; it’s late.”

“I’ll take you home,” he says and before you can protest he puts his hand on the small of your back and you think as long as he keeps doing that you’ll agree to whatever he wants. Suddenly, you wish very badly he wanted more, and you try to hide how that makes you ache.

The spirit of the season is getting to you, and this list is the best-worst idea you’ve ever had. When you’re safely alone at home, you flop down on your bed and pull out your phone to text Steve, still moping in the dark.

‘Will you hate me for longing after your best friend?’

His reply of, ‘Only if you don’t make an honest man of him. Natasha agrees,’ makes you scowl.

‘You promised,’ you insist.

‘She figured it out herself. I stand by that I’m not saying anything. I wouldn’t do that to you.’

It’s entirely too sweet. So of course he follows it up with a picture of chicken.

‘We’re not friends anymore,’ you lie and slam your phone on the table. It sounds again and you ignore it…for all of seventeen seconds, and you sigh and grab it again.

‘I’m here if you need me.’

You don’t know how to respond. You itch to talk about it with someone, but that doesn’t seem fair when Steve’s already burdened by the knowledge of your incessant crush on your shared best friend and promised to inaction. No; this is your problem alone.

‘…Do you have any more pictures of cute chickens?’

He retaliates by sending you pictures of the ugliest chickens you have ever seen in your life, which sort of brings them around to being cute again. Steve has never been very good at revenge.

Bucky has a surprise for you.

You try not to show how nervous that makes you.

“I’m a good driver,” he says for the thousandth time as he turns the SUV carefully around a bend.

“A good driver to where,” you say for maybe the tenth time as you continue to pass through trees and snow. So sue you, his pout is getting a little old. …Okay, so that’s a lie, but you have a persona to maintain, that persona being a person who is not stupidly in romantic like with their best friend who seems allergic to romantic anything.

“You’ll see,” Bucky says for the–

“Oh wow,” you say as the car comes out to a clearing of untouched snow and you park to the side of the mostly-unused road. In the distance is a hill and while there are a couple other cars here, with people already sledding, it’s all spread out so much you doubt you’ll have to interact with anyone.

“How’s this for sledding?” Bucky asks proudly and reaches back to slide out part of a sled he had hidden under the back seat.

“You weren't kidding when you said you didn’t want to deal with people,” you laugh but unbuckle your seatbelt, almost throwing it off in excitement.

“You complaining?”

“Fuck no. Let’s do this.”

And oh, do you. Despite the fast-growing ache that comes from spending hours in the snow, you and Bucky sally forth and his hesitancy to ride with you melts away in the face of that fact that the whole point of doing this is to do it together. Also, the plethora of chicken photos has helped your resolve through spite. Thanks Steve.

Fate even shines on you when, while Bucky shows the sled to the three little girls and their father, their other father stands by you and comments on what a cute couple you are. You’re a little tongue-tied at that but you don’t disabuse him of that notion. In fact, you take the opportunity to ask him to take some photos of you coming down the hill, and he cheerfully obliges, taking a whole series that will go nicely in that little scrapbook.

“You're really into this picture thing, huh?” Bucky asks as you two lean back against the car and catch your breath. The other families are packing up and the sky is turning dark with snow.

“I realized I don’t have a lot of photos of you, and you did say you didn’t mind as long as it stays private,” you say. You hesitate. “But if it bothers you–”

“It doesn’t,” Bucky says and gives you a crooked little grin. “It’s...good. Maybe you can text me some of them?”

This is perfect. “Maybe,” you say brightly and open up your phone to find one photo you’re not going to put in the book just to tide him over.

“Just don’t put one of those dumb dog filters on me.”

You smirk up at him. “Hang on, gotta find a good dog filter,” you say and dodge his weak attempt at a grab, laughing. But you deleted the near duplicates and all these photos are pretty good, so what are you going to send to his phone? You go through, wondering, until your legs are no longer jelly and your lungs are breathing easily even in the cold crisp air and you think maybe you have enough time for a few more rides before the weather turns–

A snowball hits your jacket and you yelp and almost drop your phone. You look around for the culprit and find Bucky, standing several yards away. You slip your phone in your pocket and give him a look. He laughs and immediately starts packing another snowball.

“Cheater!” you yell and duck behind the car just as a snowball crashes into pieces on the hood.

“It’s on the list!” Bucky yells back, laughing. You set to work putting together the most packed, biggest snowball you can manage. You are going to wreck him.

You are the one who ends up wrecked, covered in snow, and panting. Unsurprisingly, perhaps, as Bucky is as lethal with snowballs as he is with anything else. You are proud of the two hits you got on him– his thigh and hair– but you feel like you’ve been rolling in a snowbank and it’s really dark for what should be mid-afternoon.

“We outta head back to the city before we get buried,” Bucky says and looks around in some concern, like he too is only just noticing the weather.

“Get that heater going,” you tell him and head for the back with the sled. As soon as you get it in you run for the passenger seat, eager for the heat even though it isn’t fully warm yet. But it is warmer than outside, and that’s what matters.

The sky turns even darker and the snow picks up. Bucky focuses all his attention trying to get through the deluge but eventually he curses and turns around. “Bucky?” you ask.

“We’ll go back to that town we passed through and wait it out at the diner,” he says tersely.

“Sounds good to me. I’m starving.” You pat his arm gently, trying not to distract him, but he’s hunched over the wheel and scowling at the road. “We’ll be okay Bucky.”

“Yes we will be,” he says stubbornly, in the same tone of voice he uses when it’s late and you insist you’ll be fine getting home by yourself and he tells you that may be true, but it’s not happening on his watch. You smile and settle back into your seat. Bucky will get you to safety, and you’ll hang out in a nice warm diner, and it will be good.

And it is. Though it hasn’t stopped, the snow doesn’t seem to be coming down quite as much when you make it to town, and you and Bucky aren’t the only ones taking refuge in the little diner. There’s hot coffee, pancakes served all day, and you and Bucky relax after a morning well spent.

But the storm starts to pick up again, even worse, and the waitress comes over. “Sorry kids, but we’re shutting down in a half hour so we have a chance of getting home,” she says, sincerely apologetic. “You want some travel cups for your coffee?”

“Yes please,” you say with a growing sense of dread. But you made it to town, so that’s better than being stuck trying to drive on dark roads in a snowstorm. You look at Bucky, glowering at the clouds, and then back to the waitress with your mind made up. “Is there a place to stay the night nearby?”

“Oh yeah; there’s a bed and breakfast literally three buildings that-a-way–” she jerks her thumb behind her, “–or there’s a motel further down the road in the same direction. You should be fine. I’ll go get those cups for you.”

“Thank you,” you tell her and watch her leave. You turn back to Bucky who is still pouting with his chin resting in his palm. You kick him lightly, three times, until he finally looks at you. “We’ll check out the bed and breakfast first, then the motel if nothing’s available. Okay?”

“Okay,” he grumbles and looks away again.

“Hey,” you say and reach out to gently touch his arm. “I’m pretty sure your boss’ll understand if you’re not back tonight, right?”

You wait until he finally says, “Right.”

“And we had fun this morning, right?”

He lightens up a little at the memory. “Right.”

“So we have to stay the night unexpectedly.” You hold out your arms. “So what; we’ll head back out as soon as the snow gives a little and we’ll be back in the city by tomorrow. At least we found this town and didn’t get stuck on the roads trying to get back right away, right?”

He sighs but puts his arm down and sits up. “Right,” he says and looks at you again. His mouth turns down. “I’m sorry. Today was supposed to be perfect.”

“It was perfect. I had so much fun,” you say. “Didn’t…you?”

“Yeah. Yeah!” He smiles at you. Then smirks. “Burying you in snowballs was the best.”

You roll your eyes and he laughs, but the waitress comes back with the coffee and you and Bucky start getting everything together, and he throws extra money down. “Just for that comment, you’re paying for the room,” you say and hold the door open for him.

“Feels like the loser should pay,” he says, grinning at you. But out in the relentless cold he steps closer and holds an arm around you, and looks at the car.

“Leave it; we’ll take it if we have to hit the motel,” you say and you both start walking for the bed and breakfast. Thankfully it is as close as the waitress had said; a quaint building, surprisingly big, and absolutely covered in Christmas lights. When you step inside, it’s basically a scene out of any holiday movie. Roaring fire, pine so fresh and abundant it almost makes you sneeze, and there are so many lights that you have to blink a few times to adjust. It’s…perfect.

“Hello!” calls a young woman as she comes out of the back to stand at the counter, a smile on her face and reindeer antlers on her headband. You grin and drag Bucky up to her.

“Hi!” you say as Bucky shyly hangs back. Shy, yes, but as with every strange situation he is attached to your back. ‘Just in case,’ he always says. “We’re a little snowed in, it looks like. Do you have any rooms open for tonight?”

“We sure do!” she replies rather cheerfully. You wonder if she owns the place. Hopefully she at least gets a nice room, because you can hear the wind pick up.

At least now you don’t have to go back out into it on a trek to some crappy motel. If your room is as cozy as the main area looks, it’ll be worth the (likely terribly exorbitant) price you’re going to be paying. “We’d like a room with two beds please.”

“Oh.” She looks from you to Bucky and back again, surprised. You brace yourself for the ‘you're not a couple?’ question that’s so sure to come you can even feel Steve staring holes into your head from afar, but she thankfully just smiles apologetically. “I’m so sorry but those are filled up,” she says and looks on her computer. “I can get you two rooms with a single bed each, or one room with a king bed.”

You look at Bucky and consider your options. He’s trying not to look annoyed but this is one of those things that’s particular to him– he doesn’t like being in a separate room in unfamiliar places. Sam apparently learned that lesson the hard way once while traveling with Bucky and having to bunk in a motel one night. He went to sleep in his bed and woke up in the middle of the night to Bucky sleeping in the chair across from him because ‘it would have taken too long to get to him if anything happened.’ You’re still not sure if that shrill scream recorded on Bucky’s phone was actually Sam, but the point stands– and Bucky is shifting anxiously behind you.

“We’ll take the room with one bed,” you tell her and he sags with relief.

“Are you sure?” he asks, like you didn’t hear that immense sigh.

“It’ll be fine. Kick me, though, and I’m shoving you on the floor,” you say and smile at him. And then you realize– you’ll be sleeping in bed. With Bucky.

Steve really might kill you for not making an honest man out of him.

You think that might be preferable.

“I can sleep on the–”

“You are not sleeping on the floor,” you say for the thousandth time and stare at Bucky from your spot in the bed. He’s shuffling awkwardly by the door and you sigh and pat the comforter. “Come on; we’ve got clothes on, I’m so tired I’m going to pass out about five seconds after my head hits the pillow, and if I kick you too hard you can roll me right out of bed. Okay?”

Bucky huffs and doesn’t move to get in. “I have nightmares sometimes.”

“I know; I’ve stayed at your apartment before,” you say and pat the empty space again. The worries about sharing a bed have been utterly annihilated by the fact that you are so tired that you’re tempted to grab Bucky by the hair and drag him over. “You don’t thrash and even when I accidentally woke you up that one time you didn’t lay a hand on me. Now, I can’t go to sleep until I know you’re not going to be a self-martyring jerk, so please get over here so I can conk out for a few hours.”

He huffs but finally gets closer to the bed and, while you turn the sheets over you, he pointedly lies down on top of the sheets. Your head is on the pillow and you're so tired that you know you’re actually going to go to sleep reasonably quickly for the first time in forever, but you need to tell him off. Before you can say that you don’t have cooties or what the fuck ever it is that’s concerning him so much, he turns to face you– close, he’s so close– and puts his hand on your shoulder. “It’s fine,” he says softly and lets his eyes half-close. “I’m comfortable. Sleep.”

Dumbfounded by the fact that his face is so close you could, ostensibly, lean forward and kiss him…you decide to take his advice before you can do something irrevocably stupid and proceed to pass out for the night. As you drift off into unconsciousness though, you feel a sense of dread at what is supposed to be an innocent little crush starts to weigh heavy enough on you that it’s getting harder to breathe.

It’s going to be a good day. You slept in your own bed, you’re refreshed and organized, all you’re going to do is wrap presents and watch Christmas movies and listen to Christmas music, and after today you’re free to stay home and be by yourself for several days so you can get your head on straight before the holiday party. It’s going to be great.

Right. Because everything always goes according to plan.

A bow hits your face and you flinch, but when Bucky laughs you smile without reservation. No matter your issues, that will always be the best sound in the entire world.

“Thought you were supposed to be sharing the Christmas spirit with me?” he says, his smile fading slightly.

You can’t have that. You take the bow and stretch to put it on his head. You tap it a couple of times and his smile comes back fully when he asks, “Do I look like a present to you?”

“The best kind,” you say, though that has a different weight to you now. But he laughs, unknowing, and takes it off his head so he can unpeel the sticker side and attach it to a comically small box that’s barely able to be seen underneath the tails of the bow. He looks up at you again, shyly bites his lip in a poor bid to stifle a smile, and it feels like all your internal organs do a coordinated flip.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Yeah, Steve teases you about your crush on Bucky, but up until now it’s all been very innocent, stealing-looks-in-the-schoolyard, do-you-like-like-him, flower-petal-picking, longing-from-afar bullshit where you had feelings but they were easy enough to ignore because Bucky is your friend and you like just being around him. Well, that’s still true, but after that night of (very chastely) sleeping in the same bed, you find yourself thinking about running your fingers through his hair and pressing your body against his and wondering if his lips feel as soft as they look.

You go back to wrapping presents, fumbling over trying to make perfect lines when Bucky zips through his pile like a real-life Christmas elf, making them look as perfect as if they were set for a magazine photo spread.

“Ridiculous,” you grumble and playfully toss the roll of tape at Bucky. It bounces off his chest and he laughs as he looks over your attempts and then gives you a Look. Honestly, you know you can do better, but you’re a little…distracted.

“Hopeless,” he says fondly and takes the box right out of your hands, already carefully peeling at recently placed tape to try and repair it.

He has no idea, you think, but you can’t help but smile as he works his magic and makes Natasha’s gift look beautifully symmetrical.

“Is that one Steve’s?” he asks and squints at the messiest one.

“If it is then leave it,” you say and sip your drink. “He can have a mess. It suits him.”

Bucky looks at you like he’s trying to be reproachful, but he’s smiling. “Are you two fighting again?” he says and leans back with his own drink in his hands, acquiescing to your order.

“We don’t fight, we just have minor disagreements,” you say primly and take a sip to punctuate that you are classy and therefore passively-aggressively petty.

Bucky shakes his head. “Stubborn.”

“Yes, he is.”

Bucky rolls his eyes and goes back to wrapping his gift, and you turn your focus towards attempting to do the same.

“Still…you two are okay…right?”

Bucky’s tone is much more serious than you would like for such a subject and you stop what you’re doing to face him again. He’s staring at you, like he could see through anything you said, so it’s good that he only seems to care about a nonissue. Good for you, at least. “Of course we are,” you say. “You know we never seriously fight, right? And if we did, Steve’s smart– he’d eventually realize I’m right and come groveling.”

That ekes a small smile out of Bucky. “Sorry; it just seems like…you’re not feeling yourself, lately.”

“Oh, well…” You shrug as much nonchalance as you can. “You know how it is, this time of year. Holidays and whatnot.”

“I don’t know,” Bucky says. “This year has been better than others.”

“Really?” You lean in closer. “Finally getting comfortable in your own skin?”

“Sort of.” He studies you. “I think it’s just been a lot more fun.”

The way he looks at you makes you itch. It feels more serious, like he’s looking right through you. You swallow hard as he leans closer…and closer…

…and sticks a bow on your forehead. You let out a surprised laugh– it actually sticks fairly decently– and you can breathe again as he leans back. The near-heart attack was worth it for the smile on his face. “Do I look like a present to you?” you ask and find a gift to stick the bow on properly.

You know you’re in too deep when he says, “The very best kind,” and all you hear is your own longing reflected back at you.

The party is going well. It’s small, and the food is great, and everything looks nice, and–

“Why are you hiding in the bathroom?”

You jump a little when Steve sits down on the floor next to you. It’s a little cramped, but you have a feeling he’d be crowding your space even if you were at Tony’s tower instead of Steve’s brownstone.

“I’m not hiding,” you say. “I’m…taking a break.”

Steve doesn’t look any more convinced. You try to change tracks. “How did you know I wasn’t going to the bathroom?”

He says your name in an exasperated sigh. It’s all right; you’re not sure you want the answer to that question. “You know, Bucky’s taking a break too. In the guest bedroom.”

“Is he?”

“Yup.” Steve shoves a gift in your hands and– oh. It’s your gift. For Bucky. “Now’s a great time to give him this, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know.” You pick at a corner and quickly pull your hands back to make yourself stop. “If he’s taking a break, that means he wants to be alo–oone!”

Steve lifts you onto your feet and dusts your clothes for you. You have even more serious questions about his cleaning routine now. “You know you’re the exception,” he says and nudges you towards the door. Though you try to dig in your heels, there’s nothing really for it when your friend can tear a steel door off its hinges. “Now stop being a chicken and get going.”

“Okay, okay,” you say, if only to make sure you don’t get an embarrassing chaperone for the rest of the night, and you trudge out to meet your awkward doom and hopefully (hopefully) not make a fool of yourself.

It’s not easy when you open the door to the guest bedroom and see Bucky sitting on the floor with his back against the bed. With his hair done all nice, in new slacks and a button-down that he looks comfortable and oh so good in, it’s practically a crime he doesn’t have someone special to cuddle with.

You may not be all that special, but you can get the job done. Especially when he smiles at you like that. “Hey,” you say and shut the door behind you. “Steve kicked me out of my hideout. Can I join you?”

“Always,” Bucky says and pats the floor next to him. You sit down at his side and inhale deeply, drawing in the faint richness of his cologne. He scoots closer to you. “Where were you hiding out?”

“The bathroom.”

“Ah yeah; those are bad to hide in.” Bucky lightly bonks his head against yours. “People tend to need ‘em.”

“Not normally the one attached to Steve’s bedroom, but I guess he wants to be prepared for anything.” You bonk him back. “You doing okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah; it’s going really well,” he says, sounding so sincere. “How about you? You like the food?”

“You know I do.” Your fingers are worrying over the gift again– at this point you’re going to wear the wrapping down with slow and steady erosion, so you pick it up off the floor and hold it towards him. “Here, I got this for you. Or, actually, I– …Merry Christmas.”

He squints and side-eyes you, because he’s talented like that, but he goes about unwrapping, and your stomach twists into a knot as he pulls the book out and studies it. It’s as simple as it gets– even though some of the covers had been hilariously cheesy, you had opted for plain black, so he wouldn’t mistake it for a gag gift. He flips through the first page, eyes roving over the Christmas memories you both had started making over the course of the month. There are little pictures you’ve snapped here and there, and what physical mementoes you could snag, like a toy collection flier, and a little brochure for the inn you stayed at.

Your stomach twists as he goes through it, looking as straight-faced as always. When he makes it to the first blank page and looks at you, his expression continues to be inscrutable. Despite not knowing whether he likes it or is trying to find a polite way to distract you so he can chuck it through a window, you clear your throat. “There are a lot of pages in that thing. You can stick photos in it, or other paper mementos, and write about neat things you’ve done or seen. It can be…a little memory book. Or a big memory book, with stuff that might make your journal too bul–ky!”

Bucky is crushing you in a hug. In a good way. In a very, very good way. Well, good but awkward, as your spine is stretched a little awkwardly, but you shift your legs, push your face into his shoulder, hug his body to yours, and it’s perfect.

“This is amazing,” he says and the way he squeezes you before loosening his hold (but not letting go) makes a shiver run through your body. He smiles. “Thank you.”

“I’m–I’m–” You swallow. His face is so close, nose right in front of yours; is this intentional? Is this real? “I’m just glad you like it.”

“I do. Like it.”

He hovers. You hover. It’s a little ridiculous, just how close you are to kissing, but…what if? What if you’re wrong, what if he’s just stuck and doesn’t know how to extricate himself, what if, what if…

…What if he wants this just as much as you do and you miss your chance forever because you’re too comfortable with what is that you never find out what could be?

“Hey Bucky?” You lick your lips. “Tell me if you don’t…like this.”

And you lean in, and press your lips to his, and Bucky immediately pulls you in as tight as he can. That certainly is an answer– not quite the one you were expecting (part of you is still braced for hands pushing on your shoulders and an apology), but even when you both break for air he doesn’t let go of you.

“Don’t take this the wrong way but…please tell me Steve didn’t put you up to this,” he says and looks at you with wide eyes begging for this to be real.

“Part of me wants to make sure you aren’t just playing along because Steve has been so–” Wait a minute. “Wait…wait…you told Steve…”

“I didn’t have to; he knows me too well.” Bucky flushes and looks down. But then he glances back at you. “You told Steve?”

“Biggest mistake of my life,” you huff. “He hasn’t let it go since. …Which makes more sense now.”

Bucky shakes with quiet laughter and rests his forehead on your shoulder. “Poor bastard; this whole time he’s had to listen to me and he knew how you felt.”

You groan and let your head fall on his shoulder. “He’s never going to let us live this down, is he?”

Bucky rubs your upper back gently. “Nope.”

You sit back (and relish in the fact that he doesn’t seem likely to let you go any time soon). He looks happy, and beautiful. “I don’t know how I’m gonna top this gift,” he says.

You have a joke about that, but it’s terrible, and you’re not out to ruin a relationship that is less than an hour old. Instead you look around, see the bow is in arm’s reach, and turn a smile on him. “I have an idea.”

“Oh yeah?” he asks, lips parting with his smile.

“Yeah.” You take the bow, and stick it on his head. It immediately falls off, but he chuckles, and you lean into him. “Merry Christmas, Bucky.”

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” he murmurs, and moves to kiss you again

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #avengers reader insert #avengers fanfic #captain america fanfic #reader insert #christmas fic #idiots in love #fluff

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klausbens · 3 years

Text

i am so mad at decknine for how they treated ryan lmao i knew they were going to fuck it up and like i got the perfect ending so i’m personally ok but i know most people got the ending where he doesn’t believe you and since practically everyone romanced steph so very little people actually got closure about it and i hate it what the hell. what the hell, decknine. i don’t want to even get started on the blatant favoritism because steph believes you no matter what no questions asked but ryan (who’s already the automatically less-picked romance because the other option is steph and not only is steph steph which. i absolutely get but also fans are always just begging for lis references they can’t ever stop wanting to bring chloe and max back somehow they’ll take anything that reminds them of pricefield even a little and i also can get that but yeah ryan wasn’t in a good position to begin with), ryan - as i was saying - despite everything you’ve been through has like at least a 70% chance of saying “nah. can’t be”. and i get it, it’s his dad we’re talking about and i don’t blame him for hesitating, i don’t blame him for being the last to actually say he believes alex and confronting his dad because he needed that extra time to process and he was visibly shaken and tell you what, i to some extent even don’t blame him if he doesn’t believe you at all; kinda weird that he wouldn’t, sure, kinda weird that anyone wouldn’t because like... look at alex. she’s literally... half-dead. multiple broken bones. blood. what, do you think she just launched herself off a roof to ruin jed’s day for no reason? idk but like... at least i get that he wouldn’t be able to go through such a massive amount of emotions in such a short span of time, because that’s his father and his role model and he’s lived his whole life respecting and looking up to him and, first and foremost, loving him deeply.

but i do blame decknine. i do blame decknine for creating such a loveable character, one of my favourites in this specific game but more generally even in the whole lis franchise, and fucking him over so badly at the end. not only because, as i said, steph is portrayed to be the superior romance because she stands with you and backs you up no matter what and ryan doesn’t (so he has to be an asshole, or at least not deserving of alex’s love, most people will surmise), but most importantly because if you do not romance him and he doesn’t believe you, there is no way for neither alex nor him to get closure on the matter. he sends alex a text where he says sorry, and alex, alex who has the super empathy, alex who loves him and has found a home in him as much as she has in steph, alex who knows he was gabe’s best friend, she doesn’t even answer. and that’s that about that. the end. so you’re telling me, decknine, that they deserve closure only if they were involved romantically? that a friend isn’t as important as a significant other, so it’s fine if we leave things as they are? it’s okay if you can see that he’s sorry over fucking texts but you cannot actually see him say that to alex’s face and you can’t see alex say she forgives him? all of this is a privilege you only get if you had previously romanced him and it’s seriously making me go a bit insane because why would you do that. neither of them deserves that, we players do not deserve that.

i really do not know why they always do this with male love interests. warren wasn’t even much of a romance at all and people still hated him for some reason, finn in lis2 has extremely negative connotations and potentially (or, like, just generally lmao) leads to very troubled situations, now ryan is very likely to treat you like shit and if he does he won’t even be able to explain himself (and when he does, when he says “maybe deep down i knew, but i couldn’t accept it” that’s really all the explanation needed. he knew, he knew he should’ve believed her but he couldn’t deal with that at the moment. that’s very raw and very real and very, to me at least, forgivable) unless you’ve kissed him on the roof, which most people, according to stats, didn’t. i am so tired. i am so tired.

i have nothing against steph, or the romance with her. i love steph to bits and i wish i could just let alex be with both. personally, i am a big fan of them being poly, alex has two hands and all that. but i hate that decknine had to go and make me feel like most people will leave lis true colors thinking that one of the two romances is worse than the other, or that they will go so far as to hate on ryan or look down at him for what he did or didn’t do. i’ve already seen some pretty nasty comments and i don’t know, it soured the game a little for me, i wanted to hope they wouldn’t go there this time since they did such a good job with mac.

#lis spoilers #lis true colors #listc #ryan lucan

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warmau · 3 years

Text

"his birthday is literally a month away."

kun says and you shrug your shoulders, bringing the straw of your milkshake to your lips

"you're the one who taught me it's always good to plan in advance."

"you don't need a month to plan a birthday party, plus its xiaojun - not ten - who would probably insist on a whole gala."

ten throws a look across the table but doesn't dispute this fact

you tap your fingers on your drink and set it down to mumble something about how fine, you'll do it yourself if they don't want to help

it takes two seconds for kun to give an exasperated sigh after that and agree to help you after all

you smile and tell him you knew he would, he's too much of a micromanager to refuse

ten laughs and sicheng smirks as he doesn't look up from his phone

kun gives you the same look ten gave him a minute ago

you've been friends with xiaojun for a good year now

ever since he nearly lost bella when she got off her leash at the local park and you bolted after her like any good citizen would before she could wander off into the street

xiaojun and you have gotten closer

you kind of get him in a way that not a lot of people do

his humor can be kind of dry, and he tends to be picky about certain things

you're exactly the same way so you never really get mad about it - you both have come to learn the things you dislike and like about literally everything

being friends with someone who is as particular about movie popcorn and indoor room temperatures is a blessing more than people might think

the other members see the similarities between you two and more often than not they're happy that xiaojun, who can also be kind of reserved around strangers, has found someone that makes him so comfortable

everyone in their apartment is a character from hendery to yangyang but xiaojun meshes best with you

so it's kind of no surprise that even after a short time of being friends, and most of that time spent around the others

you two start getting the off-handed "you're so alike, why don't you just date?" comments

hendery is the first person to say it after you guys spend hours playing video games together

you and xiaojun are so in sync about everything that the rest of the team feels like you guys have to be playing together when in reality you're not even in the same room

the immediate response is for you to cackle into your headset microphone and for xiaojun to let out a high-pitched, almost theatrical 'never!'

it passes over your heads and nothing changes

but then everyone seems to be saying it

"only you two can put up with each other."

"have you ever considered being more than friends?"

"oh you're 'hanging out' again or are you just actually going on a 'date'?"

the words are supposed to carry absolutely no weight

but at some point when someone says something you end up looking at xiaojun out of the corner of your eye for some kind of response that isn't just a staunch and straightforward

"never!"

it somehow also manages to get worse the month you're planning for his party in secret, both the teasing questions and your weird hope that xiaojun will one day say something different

nearly everyone knows you're trying to put this thing together but him and maybe that's why they tease

or maybe it's because xiaojun only ever seems fully himself when you're beside him

the way the tension in his shoulders falls completely to pieces when you topple over to spread out like a starfish on his sheets

the way the look of complete boerdom on his features shift around and up into a smile when you open the door holding your favorite cold drinks from the bubble tea place next door

the way xiaojun has never let someone close to him like this before - the way he lets you get cloes.

doesn't flinch when you lean over to brush an eyelash from his cheek, seems totally content with having you put a hand on his knee when you're all seated around the table and arguing over who goes next in this game of monopoly

it's a couple of days till the party and you are standing in the parking lot of the apartment building xiaojun lives in, you both have run away from the noise of his roommates

"hey, what do you want for your birthday?"

you feel hot when you ask - and it's not just because of the summer weather

xiaojun's head tilts as he says he hasn't thought about it

"actually, i'd love it if everyone got off our backs with his 'dating' crap."

dating crap

"do you hate it that much?"

"it just feels like they're taking it too seriously."

you run your tongue over your teeth and the unusual pause makes xiaojun narrow his eyes, in the evening darkness you think maybe he won't notice the confusing expression on your face but he does

"did i say something wrong?"

it's almost like he's poking at the sleeping giant question that you both are too nervous to actually ask - do we like each other in a way that's more than just friends? is everyone just pointing out the obvious?

"no, i just got lost in my thoughts for a second."

your mouth feels dry when xiaojun looks like he's going to step closer to you but doesn't

your saving grace is hendery's head popping out over the balcony and yelling for you two to get back inside before the mosquitos eat you alive

xiaojun holds the door open, but you tell him you need to go home early

that night you look at your checklist of things to do for his birthday

you've already sent out invites, you put in the order for the cake, and you got all the decorations

two things are left, pick up cake and snacks and get present

"dating crap"

you say out loud to yourself and for some reason, it hurts in your chest. you decide you'll just get xiaojun some kind of giftcard, maybe so he can buy more games.

"dude, xiaojun is like a cat."

kun says and you try to balance the cake in your hands as you two make your way to his car

it's the day of the party, kun is lugging bags of snacks and you're thankful that the cake has xiaojun's name on it spelled correctly, but something doesn't feel celebratory about all this

the excitement of making xiaojun happy has turned to anxiety ever since your talk in the parking lot

dating crap, dating crap, dating crap - did i say something wrong?

you squeeze the thought from your mind and look at kun with your brows furrowed

"what?"

"he's like a cat ok, he'll never show how much he wants something until he gets it."

it's cryptic and you tell kun you don't know what he's talking about, the cake is cold even through the bag it's in as you place it on your lap in the passenger seat

kun sighs as if he knows you're just being difficult

"sure, anyway xiaojun will be back to the apartment at seven so we should have enough time to set everything up."

at a red light, just as you're deep in mixing thoughts about xiaojun and your feelings and his feelings and how you sometimes get embarrassed seeing him walk around shirtless or eating from the same plate as him

kun goes, "by the way what did you get him as a present?

"oh a giftcard for games."

kun taps his finger against the wheel

xiaojun is actually surprised when he walks through the door and you all jump up with balloons and cheers and brightly colored party hats

he immediately looks at you in the crowd and asks

"you did this all for me?"

your heart threatens to jump up and out of your chest because he should look normal like he always does

but he's standing there with his grey t-shirt and silver chain looking like a sculpted masterpiece bestowed on you from heaven itself

god, i have it bad.

"we did it together!"

"nah it was like all them!"

hendery counters your modesty before throwing his arms around xiaojun into a half tackle hug

the party is like ... any other party

kun was kind of write, you didn't need to take a whole month to plan, but you're glad it is all going smoothly

people are enjoying the food, people are playing the usual games and chitchatting and summer is wafting in from the open balcony door

the pets are scampering around from lap to lap and someone has put on music that's upbeat but not ear piercing or distracting

xiaojun is being passed around for presidents and hugs and congratulations for another year of his life

and you are in the kitchen constantly putting new bowls of chips out, busying yourself with your hands to fight this weird churn of your stomach

xiaojun looks so handsome i could be sick. i want all of his attention but that's such a horrible thing to think - this is his party, this is literally. his. party.

someone taps your shoulder and you half expect it to be another person asking where the dip is when you turn to see xiaojun

"thank you so much"

his voice is softer than usual

"oh don't thank me, it's your birthday, it's the least i could do."

"i guess when i said i don't want a present you went with a party which is so sweet and unexpected."

the compliment goes over your head because the mention of that conversation has you thinking about it again.

dating crap. did i say something wrong - you feel cold in an apartment of packed bodies - it's like he was saying i don't like you like that. i don't love you.

"a-ah, yeah. i did also get you a present."

you fish the gift card that was put in a pretty envelope by the employee out of your pocket and hand it to him shyly

"i know it's not much-"

"no, you know me so well. you know i wanted to get all those new skins and stuff."

he's gripping the cup of soda in his hand unusually tight, you try not to notice the way it makes the veins that run up his forearm stand out

"xiaojun!"

someone's attention is needed and he disappears with a little smile. the conversation feels so stoic. it doesn't feel the way you and him talk.

and then somehow you end up in a circle on the floor with bella in your lap playing truth or dare

it's a birthday party in a huge apartment, so it's bound to reflect some of the traditions of high school

also hendery got too excited about playing it and no one wanted to say no

everyone starts off the way these things always go, embarrassing borderline comedic dares. stupid truth questions so that roommates can out other roommates for their mistakes.

you laugh a lot, you notice xiaojun keeps looking at you

then it gets to the birthday boy himself and hendery's big white grin kind of scares you

"so xiaojun, truth or dare?"

"truth"

a loud ringing of 'oooh's' plays through the walls and you swallow

"is it true..........you aren't romantically interested in your best friend?"

all eyes turn to you and then xiaojun

bella whimpers in your lap like she's sentenced the shift, she hops out and stretches before finding a corner somewhere else - you wish you could find a corner somewhere too.

xiaojun's face is unreadable, you haven't touched any alcohol all night but your vision feels fuzzy

"no. we're just super close friends."

the smile on hendery's face falls and the crescendo of your heartbreaking thumps through your ears so much that it physically hurts

someone coughs and clears their throat

you don't even register what you're doing as you're doing it, don't hear xiaojun say your name or the hard thwack of kun's hand on the back of xiaojun's shoulder

"are you insane, why would you say that when you don't mean it?"

the question floats from someone's mouth and it's not yours and you don't stick around to hear xiaojun's answer

you only navigate yourself up to your feet and out of that apartment because your body puts autopilot into flight mode

you're maybe two blocks down the street when something warm wraps its arms around you

you don't move - your eyes are fixated on the asphalt

"im so stupid, im sorry."

xiaojun's voice breaks in a way you've never heard before

"you're not stupid for not liking me back."

your voice sounds flat in a way you've never heard before too

the arms around you drop and you start to move forward again, still wanting to get away from him and everyone else

"no. i mean im stupid for lying."

you stop

"i thought you didn't want me to be interested in you like that and then kun said that's the dumbest thing he's ever heard because you obviously-"

xiaojun can't say the rest of the sentence because he's waiting for you to confirm

kun is always right about so many things, when he'd said xiaojun is like a cat, you get this is what he meant

"that i obviously am in love with you?"

you hear the sigh escape from xiaojun before you turn full around

when you do xiaojun nods, opens his arms again and you have never felt more fit for a place than when you tuck yourself into his chest and he buries his nose into your hair

"you're so bad at truth or dare"

you muffle into his shirt and he laughs, squeezing you closer

you don't mind the way you stick to each other under the glaring heat of the last summer month's hold

of course you come back to the apartment and everyone looks like they've just been saved from drowning in the titanic

the birthday party goes to a congrats-on-finally-confessing-your-feelings-you-two-idiots party

and for all the time you two spent apart that evening, you're now glued to xiaojun's side and it finally is in a way that lets your fingers brush and hold onto each other

in a way that lets him turn his head to kiss your temple when he's had enough of the conversation or argument his other roommates are in

you refuse to let him clean when the party is over - he is the birthday boy - but he does it anyway

you get some alone time on the balcony again and you kiss some more, all shy and new and tender

but xiaojun's hand finds your hip and you stammer against his mouth

you want to stay over but literally everyone is home so you peck xiaojun on the lips and he mutters we could just cuddle instead when you say goodbye at the door

the rest of august is sweeter than summer ice cream

you and xiaojun go on dates, which xiaojun is actually good at planning because he just knows you so well and he knows you are not the type of person who wants to go to fancy, uptight restaurant or even entertains the idea of seeing sappy romance movies in theaters

he knows what to order for you two before you even come over

you know what he needs when he just offhandedly mentions that he needs to get some stuff from the store

and it's like you two are connected by something more than just a physical need for the other, it's like your souls have been intertwined and your minds too

you do finally get to come over when the rest of the members are out practicing or hanging out with other people

and you check the door to the room is locked about six times before xiaojun has to rope you into his arms with his pretty lips

before scuttling out from under the covers to check the lock himself too

it makes you laugh, he laughs too, you two kiss and you think you can only remember xiaojun's taste for hours after

no one, not even strangers, seem surprised by you being together as they learn it

an older woman at the beach says you and him just look like puzzle pieces that have found each other, she says she sees happiness in your futures

and it is all happiness - from that birthday to this one - almost ten years later

xiaojun knows you're planning a party, you always do like it's a tradition, so you can't call it a surprise anymore

but he promises to act shocked when he comes through the door anyway

"is this shocked face good enough?"

he asks, putting his hands on his cheeks and opening his mouth

age has treated him so well, he's still got the absolute best cheekbones you've ever seen in your life

you giggle and clamber over onto the sofa where he is

"no, no - more oomf!"

he tries again and then reaches out to pull you into him, you kiss his nose and he scrunches it up

"how about i just jump up and go 'no way!' or something?"

"xiaojun you're not twenty anymore."

he pouts, "fine. ill think of something."

"by the way what do you want as a present?"

you look into his eyes and the browns soften as they reflect the image of you, the person he's sworn to love for the rest of his life

he shrugs - says he got the best present of all time already

"you said that last ye-"

"and it's true, you're the only thing ive ever wanted so badly i was just too dumb of a guy to ask for it."

your hands are warm on his chest

"that's ok, you still got it in the end."

#ok......ok. so now i actually only have three neos left #*strikes a pose* i love this concept i could write 54387928 of these #wayv scenarios #wayv imagines #wayv au #xiaojun scenarios #xiaojun au #xiaojun #xiaojun x reader #nostolgic!au #nct imagines #nct au #nct scenarios

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bonny-kookoo · 3 years

Text

Mean (JJK x Reader) 💜☁️✴️🔞

💸 Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

💸 Genre: Mafia!AU, Single Parent AU!, Angst, fluff, Smut

💸 Warnings: bad language aka cursing, mentions of cheating, mentions of illegal business, manhandling and not the nice kind, tsundere Jungkook, it’s not like he likes you duh, guns, description of violence, restriction of movement and not in a kinky way, protected sex because dude he’s got one kid okay that’s enough, unconventional romance, choking, near death experience, angst did I mention angst

💸 Summary: Jeon Jungkook was kinda cute, you had to admit that- but he was also a massive douchebag with his head up his ass. And a cute kid.

A/N: First of all, I want to apologize to anyone I might dissapoint with this. I've changed up the story concept numerous times- and the first trailer is in no way a proper teaser anymore, since it has nothing to do with this story anymore. I somehow hope you still enjoy the story however. If not- I hope you'll stick around for future content!

Taglist: @drumsofheaven @yzkyzkuniverse @strwberrybtch @kirbykook @teresaisla @park-hera-gi @justzeera @taestannie @bambuzlee (there were several people I couldn’t tag- I’m sorry about that!)

Jeon Jungkook was facing his worst enemy.

Now, considering his work and all those rumors going on about him, this could be anything really; from an entire army storming his house, to readying himself for waterboarding. But no, this enemy he was currently standing across from was way more vile and difficult to get under control. The situation was slowly growing desperate on his side- this was a life and death situation.

"Mina, come on now." Jungkook pleaded as the toddler vehemently refused to raise her arms properly so he could slip on her dress for the day. He could understand her, to an extend- he wasn't a morning person either, but he had to overcome this in order to be successful- and she had to as well.

Well, success was not really that important at her age, but getting her to daycare definitely was.

"Mina I have a meeting soon and if you continue to be a brat I can't send you off again properly." He tried, knowing how much she hated him leaving in a rush like usually. He'd promised her the day prior as he'd tucked her into bed that he would, this time, at least stay until her friends had arrived, yet he couldn't have known that this situation would occur the next morning.

Sometimes being a single father was way worse than anything he was facing at his actual job.

"There we go!" He cheered as she finally caved in, pouting a bit before she giggled at the silly face her father was making in order to get her to smile. He hated sending her off in a foul mood, knowing that she could be an absolute devil's child if she felt like it. In a way, she was very similar to him, which was to be expected with her mother not being in the picture. He didn't mind it much, however- a cheating spouse was not really what he wanted by his side, if he was being entirely honest with himself. It was enough already knowing that almost all of his 'friends' and 'business partners' were shameless liars. He didn't need to live and raise a child with one as well.

"Tiger!" The young girl cheerfully exclaimed, as the both made their way into the kitchen. It wasn't just a random comment from her side, because her chubby hand already pointed at the cereal box designed with colorful images on the counter, way too high for her but perfectly reachable for her father as he chuckled, balancing her on his hip as he prepared a small bowl for her.

"No funny business though, young lady." He said, as he sat down with her at the table. "We don't have to hurry, but we can't waste time either." He explained, as he watched her eat her breakfast with a concentrated face. He smiled at the picture, sometimes wishing this would be how his days would always start. Sadly, that wasn't the case- most of the times really, her nanny took her to daycare.

Which was another problem.

Her nanny had recently filed in for her termination, her age getting to her as she finally made the decision to settle down for her last years of life, she'd said. He accepted it without much resistance, having build too much respect for the elderly woman over the course of time by now. It left him with a gaping hole however, one that he knew he needed to fill.

But with who?

He couldn't just hire anybody for Mina at this point in his life. People needed to be fully trustworthy to be even given knowledge of his child at all. Most didn't even know she existed- the public unaware of her relation to him. He kept the facade up that she was merely the child of a close friend, just to keep her out of range of any potential enemies he had gathered over time.

His life really wasn't fit for a child at all, but what was he supposed to do?

"Y/N!" A small voice exclaimed behind you, making you look around from where you were cutting apples as the small child appeared.

"Mina!" You answered just as brightly, picking her up as she giggled excitedly. "Did you have breakfast yet?" You asked, as another daycare worker came inside.

"Yeah!" She said, and you looked at her surprised. "Daddy and I had breakfast!" She explained, as you placed her back down onto the ground. "He'ven brought me here today!" She said, and you hummed affirmatively,

"That sounds awesome!" You said, as she beamed up at you. "Why don't you go sit at the table, we're almost having our morning snack. You think you can eat some apples?" You asked, and she proudly nodded, before zooming off, stumbling a bit as she missed the slight gap of the door.

"He didn't come inside." Jenny said, as she watched the little girl sit down next to a boy her age. "I saw that he was sitting in his car, but she got out herself." She explained further, as you continued cutting the apples and making some cuts to have them resemble a bunny. "I swear to god-" She started, as you cut her off.

"We don't know what his life is like, Jenny." You said, as she huffed. "It's not our kid, it's not our life. She isn't unhappy, she's healthy, she's not mistreated. Case closed." You explained further as you discarded the scraps of apple unneeded in the trash, before rinsing the knife you'd used. "I'm not too happy about it either, but we're not her mother." You said, as you dried your hands.

Jenny sighed. "I know, but like-" She said, walking over to you to help you place the banana slices and grapes as well. "She's such a sweet kid. I don't know, but he seems like such a dick honestly. Like, have you heard his phonecall last week?" You snorted. Everyone did at this point.

Mina had had a minor incident, when she'd stumbled and fell. She'd scraped her knee, cried a little, but after a moment everything had been fine again. He however, had been livid upon finding out his daughter had been hurt, even though the scratches didn't even need a bandaid. Even though he'd only been on the phone with your superior, he'd made such a scene out of it that it became like local news around the daycare.

"I still don't know what the fuck that was about." Jenny exclaimed, taking a sip of her coffee as she kept an eye on the kids in the main room. "Like, yeah, she fell, but nothing happened." She said, and you agreed.

Shrugging, you grabbed some plates and napkins, and looked at Jenny. "Again." You reminded her. "As harsh as it sounds, you know me." Jenny sighed.

"I know."

You took back everything you had said this morning.

This prick had the audacity to keep you waiting for more than two hours now, without reacting to any amount of phonecalls you'd done by now. Mina was almost asleep on your lap, and you were angry to say the least. This was supposed to be your last day of work for a week, you were supposed to be curled up on your couch in nothing but underwear and fluffy socks, hidden by a blanket and eating icecream while watching netflix. You were definitely not supposed to sit here at your daycare until even the janitor was about to go home. "Fuck it." You mumble, carefully balancing the young girl on your hip as you grab your bag and keys.

You wave the janitor and cleaning staff goodbye on their way out, and take out your phone for a bus or subway that could drive close to where Mina's address is- but you notice there is nothing in her jacket written that you could use as one. You instead simply call the number written down for emergencies, and wait as it rings.

once.

twice.

"Hello?"

You are a bit taken aback by the voice on the other line, masculine, but clearly not as old as you'd thought he'd sound. "Uh, yeah, this is Mina's daycare, you mind picking her up these days, or not?" You casually say, Mina moving around a bit as to bring her thumb close to her lips. You internally coo at her.

"Shit! Fuck- I, where are you?" He asks, and you furrow your brows. Where the hell does he think you are, or does he seriously not know where his daughters daycare is? Wait, is that even her father?

"I- listen, am I even talking to her father or who is this?" You ask, and suddenly you feel extremely uncomfortable. This was a bad idea, what if this isnt her dad at all? You could loose your job for this!

"Yeah, yes. Listen I'm gonna send someone to pick her up alright? Should be there in an hour or so." He says as if frustrated, and you scoff, making him question you on the other line as if he was just struck by thunder. "Excuse me?" He says, voice low, but you're not intimitated.

"First of all, I'm not convinced. Second of all, and pardon my french, but are you nuts?! It's already way too late for her to be up, and I've finished my shift hours ago!" You complain, and he clears his throat over the line, clearly unhappy about your lack of understanding.

"Jeon Mina has a small beauty mark underneath her lower lip, she hates strawberries for some reason, and her biggest secret is that she is actually scared of unicorns. There, happy?" He grits out, and you chew on your lip. He was good. "Second of all, Miss." He makes sure to pronounce every word. "You're getting paid to look after my kid. If that's all you want I'm paying you extra for the inconvenience-" Oh boy, there we go.

"If I cared about your stupid money I would've called authorities hours ago, S.I.R." You start, careful to tone your voice down as to not wake her up. "And you know what, thats a great Idea actually! Let me just-" You begin, but he cuts you off with a sound that sounds awfully like a door closing.

"Fuck you, I'm there in 20." He says.

Jeon Jungkook was not too fond of woman.

That much was clear ever since he'd been cheated on and left with a kid, but it had always been like that. It wasn't like he was afraid of them, or didn't like them, it was more like, during his life, woman had been the reason for heartbreak and bad news all along. His mother had been an alcoholic, his dad desperately trying to get her back on track. His sister had been involved into shady business early on, a wild child that would do anything to get on peoples nerves. His aunt, which only ever visited to gain money. Women were bad news.

So his own surprise had been very prominent when he spotted you on the bench with his kid in your arms,her chubby arms clinging onto you like a koala. You seemed to be reading something on your phone, careful not to point the device too close to Mina so she wouldn't be disturbed. You were pretty, he had to admit that, even from far away- and you seemed like a confident person, from what he'd heard over the phone. You suddenly noticed him as he drove a bit closer, car tires crunching the gravel and snow underneath while his headlights shut off, to not blind you both. He stepped out, as you woke Mina up to announce to her that her father had finally arrived.

"Daddy!" She screached sleepily, running towards him with stumbling legs. He picked her up with a smile before he turned around, having every intention to buckle her up in his backseat as you came closer.

"Huh. Mind telling me why I shouldn't inform authorities about this?" You asked, and he huffed out a breath with a roll of his eyes, pulling out his wallet. You simply stood there, arms crossed, not at all fazed by the amount of money he held in front of you- you simply raised your eyebrow. "I mean, if money could talk I'd ask your bills, sure. But that right there isn't an answer." You replied, and he gritted his teeth, jaw clenching. Why were you being so difficult.

"Okay, how much?" He said, and you suddenly moved, shifted, as if absolutely offended by his offer.

"Do I look like a streetworker to you sir?" You said, and he closed his eyes for a moment, until another car seemed to pull up.

"You're getting picked up." He says, ready to step into his car as you look at him with confusion. "You don't know them?" He asks, and you shake your head, having every intention to check as he notices something familiar peeking out of one of the car windows. As if on autopilot, he rips his passenger side open, pushes you in, and runs to get inside the drivers seat.

There are shots fired, Mina is holding her hands over her ears as she simply stares at you, who is absolutely shell-shocked.

What the hell just happened?

So yeah, that's how you got here-

In a room that looked awfully like the interrogation rooms in your late night netflix crime shows. There was someone sitting in front of you- Mina's father, watching you, like you were going to do anything. But you were as quiet as a mouse, not saying anything.

"So you didn't know them? At all?" He questioned for the second time in the past ten minutes, and you shook your head. "Hard to believe. Then again, why would you ever tell me that your Dad's brother was sentenced to two years for escorting drugs- only getting two years because he snitched." He said, and your eyes widened.

"Okay what the hell-" You started, but he cut you off.

"Oh, I hit a nerve-" But you weren't having it.

"Oh an I'm gonna hit your pretty nose if you don't stop cutting me off!" You said, making him smirk. For some reason, this was quite entertaining to him- the only woman he ever had in here were so keen on keeping up that shy and innocent facade, that you were a breath of fresh air. "Listen, I don't know why you decided to dig up things that happened when I was literally a TODDLER- or how you even got that information - I swear to god I will really break your nose!" You ended as he had tried to speak again, making him chuckle.

If you weren't being held captive after getting your night ruined you might as well would've thought that was pretty hot.

"I was five years old- I had nothing to do with it, and my dad had no contact whatsoever with his brother after what had happened." You explained. "If you can find that, you can also find that I haven't had contact with my family in years either." You said, leaning back, as he spoke.

"I did. Which is quite confusing to me." He said.

You suddenly went stone cold on him. "It really isnt that deep." You said.

"Were you avoiding them?" He asked. "Because of what happened? Or because your dad got involved into something?"

"Because they're dead." You said.

Well. This was something that made him actually stop and think for a second. He did dig into that nasty part of your family, but he never looked further- their death was something he had overlooked. And by your reaction as you said it, the way you said it, he knew that you weren't lying. "Alright." He said. "But you do realize that I can't just let you go like that, right?" He said.

"Figured." You said. "So, should I stand facing against the wall or with my back against it so you can aim better?" You said, and he took a deep breath. Technically, yes, that would be a logical outcome.

"Neither." He said, and you raised your eyebrow. "I have an offering." He said, and your entire body went stiff, arms crossing in front of your chest. A pure sign of whatever he was going to say, your first reaction would be no. "I need a nanny for Mina." He said, and your lips parted, confusion clear on your face.

He almost thought it was kind of cute.

"You what?" You said.

"I need a nanny for Mina." He repeated. "It's a win-win situation for both of us if you think about it. You get to- in a way- keep your job and a bonus in terms of payment, and I will have someone to take care of Mina. And I also don't have to put a bullet into your pretty little head." He said, leaning forward with the last words.

"This isn't really a question, isn't it?" You said, and he laughed.

"You're smart- I like you."

„But that’s not how daddy does it..“ she wonders, as you tie her shoes for her, before looking up into her eyes. She really does resemble her father. Well, a more innocent version, that is.

„Well everyone does it differently.“ you say, well aware that there were numerous ways to tie a simple bow. „Your daddy probably has learned it from someone who does it like he does. I learned it from my dad.“ you explained as you went to pick up her backpack, carrying it for her as she took your hand.

„yours looks prettier tho!“ she exclaimed happily, a skip in her step as she kept looking at her shoes with a smile. You grinned, a sense of pride filling you. „Daddy‘s always looks crooked on one side-„ she said, before a voice broke through the sweet moment.

„You hurt me Princess. You always said they look nice.“ he hummed from his spot in the doorway, leaned on the frame, looking at you with something you could only describe as unsatisfied, while shooting his daughter a smile.

What the hell have you done wrong now?

This had been something going on for months now. Ever since you started working for him as a nanny, Mina had been nothing but a ray of sunshine- but he, he was not even a raincloud. He was the angry grinch miltiplied by a hundred, ready to piss everyone off twenty-five-eight. Somehow everything you did wasn't up to his standards; the way you cooked for Mina, the way you dressed her, hell, even right now with the way you tied a fucking bow.

You really hoped next time he washed his hands, his sleeves would roll down.

"There's an emergency gun underneath the back-" He started as Mina was out of listening-reach.

"I won't use it." You said.

Jungkook had tried to get you trained at least in the basics of guns- but you practically had an allergy to it, refusing to so much as touch one. He didn't quite know what your problem was, but after a while, he had given up on it- simply sending one of his guards with you whenever he could. By now, you were an easy target as well if found alone, so you had joined him in his place, occupying one of the larger guest rooms. He had said that it was to keep an eye on you, but internally, he simply didn't want you to get hurt.

And yeah, at first that was because he didn't trust you, at all- but by now, somehow, you had sneaked your way into his heart, in a way. Even though he himself would always grumpily comment on it, he loved how you made Mina smile and the entire mansion light up. Things felt a little brighter, a little less tense, and a little less lonely with you around. It felt as if you were an actual family.

And that scared the shit out of him, because in no way was he going to fall for his daughters nanny.

And, after all; you hated his guts.

If Jungkook knew the situation you and Mina had gotten yourselves into, you don't know if he would be proud of her or kill you.

Turns out that the guard Jungkook had sent you out with wasn't actually following his orders at all, but words from a different person entirely- you imagined they were highly likely the one's out to shoot you back when you first met the tall mafia boss and father. Now, the only thing they definitely did not get right however, was that you were Mina's mother- and someone Jungkook valued enough to give up his safety. This was true for Mina; the young child was his everything, and he'd cut off his limbs just to know her safe and sound- but you? That was just absolutely stupid. Sure, you've been living together for quite some time now, and he stopped trying to mentally push you down the stairs every morning as well. But there was nothing more than a mild case of friend- and partnership. You weren't being emo; Jungkook had, after all, said it again and again that he had crossed out the dating game. He's got enough trouble with Mina and you, he had said.

Well, seemed like one of those issues would solve itself.

"Again, what're you gonna do?" You say, as Mina looks at you from out of the vents above you had helped her into seconds ago.

"Crawl where the nice air is, call daddy- and don't look back." She repeats proudly, but you can see it clearly that she's just as scared as you are.

"Exactly, good job princess." You praise, and she nods with a pout. "Once daddy gets you, you'll be safe." You promise, and she wants to complain- but you don't let her, closing the vent again as you hear her shuffling away. This was fine. Mina would be safe, Jungkook would have one person less to worry about- he could move away, bring her to a different part of the country where no one knew her, and she could simply go to school next year and forget all of this ever happened.

You were just a bit sad that you'd never get to see it.

Of course you weren't her mother- but it was hard not to let her inside your heart, with the way she was. The charms her dad didn't have, she got them times ten. She was just so sweet, and you were around her all the time, it was hard not to somehow grow fond of her. You just hoped she'd be alright.

"Where's the kid, whore?!" A guard yelled after noticing you were the only one left in the room. You simply smiled, not answering, before he grabbed your neck, pulling you up as much as he could as he fumed. "Save that stupid grin for your son of a bitch at home." He barks, and you desperately try to breathe- unsuccessfully so, until he forcefully pushes you back down, the back of your head hiding the concrete floor with a sickening crack. You squealed out in pain, holding onto the spot for dear life as if that would somehow help it- but it didn't. "I knew sluts like you have to be tied up. You're all just trouble." He says, pulling you by your legs as another set of people come in, binding your legs and hands. You can already feel your fingers getting cold from how tight your wrists are tied- but you black out from the kick to your stomach before you can quite dwell on it.

"Fuck!" He yells, before he gets up, hands in his hair to somehow help himself not punch the laptop on his table. He's seen it, seen it all- from the moments you would shield Mina like a fearless lioness, the second you had lifted her up into the vents even though he knew your shoulder had to be in horrible pain, to the very moment you had faced the consequences of your actions. He hated that he had to wait, that he had to simply sit here in his office like a coward just to watch you take the beatings.

Because here was the thing with Jungkook; even though he liked to portray himself as someone who always takes the upper hand in things and troubles, when it came to his own personal life far away from his criminal business he ran, he couldn't seem to ever make up his mind. It was like a repeat of his past love affair- but instead of his ex-wife cheating and leaving him with a child, there was you, in some way fighting like a true lionness in order to keep said child safe and sound, even though you didn't even had to. Technically, this would've been the perfect opportunity for you to finally get your freedom back in a way. Because without Mina, there was no use for you being in his grasp anymore. Without her, there was no agreement between the two of you.

And yet there you were. And yet again, he simply watched, simply did nothing.

The entire mansion was already on high alert by now; his most trusted friends Seokjin and Yoongi already out to your location- he could wait. He could wait. He could wait.

Everything would somehow turn out to be just fine by the end of this day. He would successfully take his daughter into his arms, Yoongi and Seokjin would get you out of there, and after a good nights sleep and some first aid for you, things would just return to normal.

But what was normal at this point?

He didn't want things to continue like they did currently. He wanted change, for the first time in his life. He wanted to tell you about his inner thoughts, about his desires concerning you and his future. He wanted to tell you that he didn't just want you to be at his home and with him and his daughter just because of some stupid agreement. He didn't want you to stay with him because he forced you to.

His phone began to chime, your face greeting him as the caller ID as he accepts it. "Daddy-" His heart sinks down to the floor as he hears Mina sniffle on the other side of the line. He has to wait, he thinks, repeats like a mantra. He has to somehow calm her down, tell her everything's alright- "They're hurting mommy!" Mina wails, and somehow, those words make him snap.

Fuck waiting.

In a way, Mina was a smart kid. She had been nothing but understanding when Jungkook and her mother had broken up- divorced, and fought until she eventually left for good. She had been a little sad for a long time, thinking it had somehow been her fault; but he had assured her, and later on, explained, that Mommy simply didn't love Daddy anymore. In Daycare, she was one of the most well behaved kids ever encountered- careful, and calm. Of course she got excited and happy and sometimes made a mess; but she also was very careful who she interacted with, what kinds of friends she made, and how much she talked about home. She never complained, never threw public tantrums.

Jungkook truly was lucky- that the only thing left of his shattered marriage had been her.

He never had relationships after that- never dated, never truly searched for someone. No one, in his eyes, was worth the risk- and even after meeting you, that was his opinion. But as cliche as it sounded, you were quite different from anyone he'd ever met before.

You spoke your mind; always saying what bothered you, never beating around the bush. Yet, you weren't being a bitch about things. No, you actually could be pretty cute if you wanted to be- be it the moments he had caught you and Mina sneak a taste of her birthday cake in the middle of the night, or the one time he had been sick.

You had been such an angel to him.

Helping him towards the bathroom, never even scrunching your nose in distaste whenever he had to throw up. You simply rubbed his back, helping him towards the sink to rinse, just to lead him back into his bedroom. You had aired the room out, made the bed, made sure that he was staying hydrated and at least tried to eat every day- all without any complains.

Maybe that was the moment his perspective of you shifted into dangerous territory.

He had somehow become hyperaware of the things you did. How well you got along with Mina, how easy going you were becoming with him- how confident yet nurturing and sweet you were, gently scolding him sometimes to not overwork himself. You always made sure his kid felt happy and was healthy, never so much as whined about your past friendships lost; you had simply accepted the new situation.

In a way, you were what he silently dreamed of at night.

Because as much as he loved the sight of you holding Mina whenever she had a nightmare and couldn't sleep, he somehow also craved to be held throughout the night by your arms. Just like he held his daughter in that moment after she had climbed out of the vent into his arms. He could make out some of her words as he simply let himself feel her tiny body in his arms for a moment. Just to make sure she was really there, really alright, really out of harms way. She kept on crying out for you, for him to help you, to save you-

So it was only natural for him to jump out of his car and run after Seokjin, Yoongi, and their squad, as they entered the building.

Sometimes at night, when you got aware of all the different sounds of the room, you heard the blood rush inside your brain.

Just like now; but now, it was so loud that you could barely hear anything else. Things seemed hazy, fuzzy, your ears stuffed with cotton wool drowning out any sounds might happening around you. Your eyes stayed closed, light way too bright for your raging headache- and the stale metal taste on your tongue wasn't helping either. Your hands had started to tingle long ago, and your knees were hurting from being in the same position for this long. But the moment someone touched you next, it wasn't forceful. It was so gentle, and almost- scared?

You couldn't hear, but you could feel. How the rope was cut, blood rushing painfully into your hands and legs again, pins and needles making them hypersensitive as you were suddenly held- moved, carried?

It smelled like home, that was something your dizzy mind was able to properly make out. It smelled like Jungkooks mansion, and a bit like his office- a faint vanilla hitting your senses, making you faintly smile as your hand reached out, unknowingly grabbing his shirt, holding the fabric as tight as you could as you moaned out in pain when he placed you down again, warmth surrounding you.

Maybe you were dying?

Or maybe not.

Because after some hazy and confusing dreams, you slowly came back to your senses. Eyes opening slowly, there it was; the curtains you knew so well, the balcony opened, air crisp and fresh around you as the door opened. You wanted to move your head, but the fear of triggering another headache was too big.

"Y/N?" Jungkooks voice asked, warm, and almost hesitant. You hummed, and he snapped his head around, noticing that yes- after days of sleeping and slipping in and out of consciousness you were actually awake again. He walked into your field of vision, looking so casual; his white button up undone at the first two buttons, sleeves rolled up as he sat down close to you, palm on the blanket covering you as he-

smiled?

"W-" You had to cough a bit before clearing your throat. "Who are you and what have you done to Jungkook?" You said, and he chuckled, sighing in relief- you had, after all, not lost your charm.

"I think past Jungkook had a moment of self-reflection." He said, watching you as his hand placed itself onto yours, warmth spreading over your skin. "I'm glad you're okay." He admitted. "And thank you. For keeping.. Mina safe." He ended, and you smiled.

"That's literally my job." You said, and he got more serious.

"No, and you know what I mean." His voice was deep and rough, yet held no authority like usual. "You had chances to tell them who you were. That you had no connection to me other than through her; yet you didn't. And we both know why." He said, and you looked at him.

"There are more reasons than just one." You said, eyes drifting to his now empty ring finger on the hand resting on his thigh.

"Does it matter which one I mean?" He asked, and you wanted to scoff.

"It does to me." You said, and he shifted closer after a second, properly holding your hand now as he looked at yours- still a little scratched, but nothing that wouldn't heal.

"You did it because that's the reason you live here." He said. "You also did it because you adore her just as much as I do. And you.." He began, but grew unsure.

"And I?" You smiled, and he looked at you with his typical seriousness.

"And you somehow got stuck in an emotional mess." He explained. "You somehow, deep down, wanted it to be true." His thumb moved over the back of your hand as he spoke. "You wished that.. maybe there was more to it than just, partnership." He said, and you still smiled gently.

"Did I now?" You teased, but to your surprise, he was still looking straight at you.

"I know I did." He humms out. "I still do."

"You're stupid." You said, and he laughed bitterly, taking your words the wrong way as he slipped his out of yours.

"I know." He said, getting up to leave but stopped as you spoke.

"Good." You said, chuckling before coughing. "What, no kiss for me after all I've been through?" You giggled as his wide eyes stared at you. "Rude." You said, and he suddenly realized that no- you weren't rejecting him. You were accepting.

You felt the same.

Noticing his own awkwardness, he leaned over, hands supporting his body as he leaned down, properly placing his lips onto yours. You had never imagined what kissing Jungkook would feel like, but you certainly would've never guessed how gentle and absolutely loving it would be. One of his hands moved towards your cheek, holding it, as if you were the most precious thing he'd ever seen.

"Mommy!" Came Mina's excited voice, cries instantly noticable as she jumped onto the bed, burying her head into your chest as you held her, a few tears in your eyes from her jumping.

"Mina baby, be careful okay?" He said. But your words were the reason that he ended up tearing up, at the end.

"Mommy's still hurting baby." You said. "But she'll get better soon."

Not even during the first few magical months of being together with his past ex, had it ever felt like this.

He was euphoric almost; with the way you felt, moved, breathed. It all felt like so much to him, made him feel so.. He couldn't explain it. He had his hands on your hips, fingers careful not to press too hard, but having enough force to move you back and forth over his lap- his length moving in and out of your heat, making you whine, as he watched your breasts in front of him. You fit so perfectly like this, felt so amazing, managed to make him feel needy instead of the other way around.

He turned you over slipping out of you sloppily as he moved positions, now above you as he spread your legs, entering you again easily. He pulled you by your thighs, holding you in place as he began to thrust again, your eyes closing with every movement of his hips.

He loved the sight of it.

Deep down he wanted to take the condom off; he wanted to fill you up, cum inside over and over and over until your cunt would overflow. Not only just to claim you in a weird animalistic sense, but to also make his family complete. He had cut his ties to his illegal activities by now, had settled down with you- and he knew, there was no other person he'd ever have a child with again than with you. "I want to cum inside." He said breathlessly, making you whine in return. "Hm, you'd like that?" He asked teasingly, his thrusts gaining more strength as if to underline his statement. "Stuff you full of my cum, make you leak it and mess up the sheets.." He continues, hand reaching between the two of you to find your clit. "just to make love to you over and over again. I wanna make you cry." He gritted out, suddenly moving you around face down. He pulled up your lower body, entering you again, gliding in easily with the amount of slick you were leaking. "And you'd take it wouldn't you?" He asks, making you nod and groan out as he grows more desperate, faster, harder- throwing you off the edge but never stopping. "You're gonna take it until I cum, don't you dare move away from me." He scolds, holding you tightly, making you gasp out in overstimulation as he continues on, chasing his own high.

He reaches it with a loud groan, burying himself deep inside as he holds you, peppering kisses onto your spine. "I love you, hm.." He whispers out. "So good, so pretty.. all mine.." He huffs, simply falling onto the mattress with you in his arms, cock still buried inside you.

There was a moment of silence, until he spoke again. "I really do mean it though." He said earning only a tired humm from you. He simply chuckled at that, holding you close as he decided to maybe bring that topic up when the timing was a bit better.

For once, he felt like a normal person. Right next to you, in your arms, as you turned around to pull him close, burying your face into his chest.

Right where he belonged.

#jeon jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook #jungkook imagine #jk imagine #jungkook x reader #bts imagine #mafia bts #mafia jungkook #bts smut #jungkook smut

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miraculouscontent · 3 years

Text

Alright, so apparently certain love square shippers felt the need to go into the Lukanette tag to celebrate/mock that Lukanette is “over” (Marinette broke up with him to keep him safe but go off I guess) and that officially crosses all my lines of not dealing with the fandom’s garbage.

The sheer pettiness is astounding to me, to take joy in the end of what was a lot of people’s comfort ship (people don’t choose comfort ships, by the way) because of “toxic Luka/Lukanette stans,” essentially lumping chunks of the fandom together and letting the opinion of those fans shape their own opinion on a character/ship. The sheer sensitivity on display to have so much spite and disdain for a ship that appeared in less than 10% of all episodes in the show. The sheer vindictiveness to feel smug and self-righteous while also being panicked over a non-endgame ship that’s as temporary as their claim of positivity and condemning of salt until they’re presented with something they don’t like.

Goliath really be beating up on David over here because he's bigger and thinks his opinion is more valid. For the record, no, opinions are not more valid due to shipping an endgame ship or presenting oneself as a beacon of positivity.

And it just goes to show how ship-blind these people are, to care about nothing more than the fact that Lukanette has broken up. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I’ve seen people who openly admit to caring more about the love square’s security than Marinette’s happiness, which is just part of the issue here.

These people did not care how Lukanette broke up, only that it happened. Marinette’s crush backpedaling (because of the show feeling the need to cater to these exact people, who are so worried about their obviously endgame ship being “in danger”) and Marinette ending the episode in literal tears because she wanted to date Luka but couldn’t are both things that didn’t matter to them because it’s all about their ship in the end. Marinette’s life has been made more and more miserable due to her crush on Adrien while straining her relationships with various characters (see: Alya’s claim of jealousy as a reason for why Marinette “must be lying” about Lila), but so long as these people feel secure in their endgame ship, that’s all that matters.

They didn’t care if it was a clean break where both sides came out satisfied (or at least content). If anything, they wanted Lukanette to end as shoddily/dirtily as possible with zero care into how it affected Marinette, whether because they just don’t like the ship or because they actively desire for the suffering of the people who found comfort/happiness in the ship. Adrien had literally nothing to do with the break-up itself and him being mentioned served nothing for the story, but it’ll be completely overlooked or outright praised because god forbid Marinette spend an episode not talking about Adrien since that would imply that her life doesn’t revolve around him and that would be an apparent detriment to the love square.

By the way, newsflash: Luka was not an obstacle to the love square. He sent Marinette away in “Frozer” to go talk to Adrien. He told her that there was no pressure and that he’d be happy for her no matter what. Had Luka not existed, the love square would still be as stagnant as it is now, and it’s pathetic to complain about Marinette liking/dating another boy when she’s not only allowed to do so, but when “Oblivio” and “Chat Blanc” both exist as little more than tools to hold the supposedly “starved” love square shippers over.

These are the same people who will say they dislike/hate Luka, then do a 180 and claim that they “just feel so bad for him” and how he “deserves better than Marinette” (the sudden sympathy of which conveniently serves to hate on a ship that interferes with their own, further proven by equally convenient and appreciation/liking of Luka when he’s not a “threat” to the love square) while simultaneously shipping her with their sunshine boy because Ladybug is who Adrien wants and what Adrien wants is what matters.

These are the same people who will say that Luka is unnecessary and unneeded, then use him as a prop and stepping stone for love square fanfics and fanart, or suggest that Kagami is fine because she makes Adrien feel good about himself (when Luka does the same for Marinette but sure).

These are the same people who say that “Marinette can’t date Luka because she’s busy with hero stuff” while making fics about the love square getting together mid-”hero stuff” and then giving complete radio silence during “Chat Blanc” outside of how good they thought the episode was.

These are the same people who will tell others not to denounce Adrien for “a few mistakes” and then preemptively denounce Luka’s behavior based on a written synopsis for an episode that hadn’t even come out yet (and also after complaining that Luka was “too perfect,” I might add).

These are the same people who will say that Luka/Lukanette makes them feel “uncomfortable” (usually without offering any tangible reasons or being vague about Luka giving off “bad vibes” when he’s done nothing less than support and respect Marinette's agency) while the show’s endgame ship features the “m’lady” hand kissing Chat Noir who Ladybug has pulled away from multiple times yet he keeps persisting (which is apparently considered okay because Adrien is Chat Noir as if that discredits her discomfort/disdain for the gestures).

These are the same people who will say that Luka is “barely there” or “hardly exists” and then complain about how much screentime is dedicated to Lukanette, the utter greed on display going right over their heads when they have the actual endgame ship.

These are the same people who will absolutely reach for anything about Luka to complain about (again, after saying that he’s “too perfect,” then claiming he “tricked” Marinette into kissing him, claiming that he tried to force her into telling him her secret, or criticizing him for teasing her for her stuttering despite him immediately apologizing) and then either defend or turn a blind eye to Chat Noir (who tried to kiss her mid-battle instead of helping, made Ladybug feel bad for keeping secrets that weren’t hers to tell plus threatening his kwami that he’d quit if he didn’t get let in on said secrets, and mocked her instead of apologizing when she told him to stop calling her by a nickname she doesn’t like and has told him before to stop calling her) at every opportunity.

These are the same people who will say that Lukanette is “forced,” then proceed to ship Luka (regardless of if they like him or not) with literally anyone else for the sake of taking him out of the romance equation (because he has to be taken out via already dating as they couldn’t come up with a legitimate reason for Marinette to not want him otherwise), and the only requirement for this person he’s shipped with is that they breathe and aren’t Marinette.

These are the same people who act bothered by Marinette “””treating Luka poorly””” because of her crush on Adrien (by the by, Adrien’s crush on Ladybug has hurt Kagami as well), inadvertently admitting that Marinette’s crush is a problem, then continue shipping her with Adrien in its canon form anyway.

These are the same people who will say that they hate salt fics (specifically ones that target Adrien) and how they “bash characters,” then write fanfics or draw fanart that intentionally make Luka out of character for the sake of having him look bad or giving Marinette an excuse to run to Adrien (because Luka apparently needs to be made worse so that Adrien can look good instead of Adrien being able to stand on his own merits as a good love interest for Marinette).

These are the same people who will slam Luka when he’s Marinette’s support, then go off and ship him with other characters so that he can support them instead (fun fact that this is usually either Adrien - thus leaving Marinette completely alone and miserable when Luka canonically likes her - or characters that Marinette is actively against, such as Chloe or Lila).

These are the same people who will complain about how salty the fandom is (even when the salt is for catharsis/getting out anger from an episode in a productive way) and then laugh when a simple side ship ends because they’ve been letting said ship live rent free in their heads and couldn’t stop anticipating the episode that declares them “over.”

These are the same people who tell or suggest that people should “just leave” if they don’t like the main ship, unapologetically implying that the main ship is either all the show is about, all that they personally care about (bringing us right back to that little “not caring how torn apart Marinette is about the break-up” thing), or that people aren’t allowed to watch/like the show for other reasons (like Marinette herself, the miraculouses, other characters who may appear intermittently but nevertheless bring them joy to see, etcetera).

These are the same people who get on other people’s case for being spiteful while they themselves ride their high horse into the sunset, playing victim when people call them out for intentionally provoking others or purposefully mistagging to avoid people’s blacklist (tagging is not for the comfort of the tagger so they can “””avoid the toxic stans,””” for the record; it’s for the comfort of the people who don’t want to see that content).

And these are the same people who will go on and on about the toxicity of the stans who ship something they don’t like and then either ignore or downplay the stans who ship what they do like because they personally don’t have to experience it. This isn’t even about ship wars, it’s about the hypocrisy and lack of self-awareness.

I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear about how cruel the Luka fans or Lukanette shippers are when these people are celebrating Marinette’s misery because it means the end of a ship that they don’t like and certain people find comfort in. I don’t want to hear about people cross-tagging/mistagging when the Luka/Lukanette tag has been flooded with people who talk trash about the ship without any additional tags to filter it away, getting so bad to the point where some Luka/Lukanette fans had to find workarounds and/or avoid the tag entirely. I don’t want to hear about how certain shippers are worse because [x] [y] [z] when everyone has different experiences, showing a severe case of close-mindedness or at least ignorance on these people’s parts.

And, with how this season is heading, if something bad happens to the love square by the end of Season 4, I most definitely do not want to hear these same people decry the people who will do the exact thing that they’re doing now.

#category: salt #category: fandom #category: long post #((Mind you--this doesn't apply ONLY to the people who cross-tagged to ''celebrate'' Lukanette ending or mock Luka/Lukanette))#((so... if the shoe fits.))#((I literally don't care if people want to salt.))#((I think the whole situation is gross but like--whatever.))#((But we shouldn't be forced to deal with it because salty clowns want to make sure the people they're salty over see it.))#((And I don't want to hear ''oh it'd be different if people cheered the love square getting a wedge driven in it because it's endgame!''))#((as if mockery is okay if done by endgame shippers.))

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fangirlovestuff · 3 years

Text

Never Too Late - Chris Evans x reader

a/n- hey lovely people!! i hope you’re all doing well:) i’ve been working on this one for a while, and i’m super excited to finally share it! because it’s Chris’ birthday, i wanted to have some fun with this, so in the story, chris says 3 things that are quotes / paraphrases of some of his characters’ quotes (like 3 things his characters said in movies lol). see if you can find all 3 of them;) enjoy<3

Summary: Romance is an illusion. Unattainable. Absolutely unrealistic. No one can have a fairytale love story. But maybe, you don't need a fairytale. You just need each other. (In which you and Chris have each given up on romance, but then you meet, and… sparks fly.)

Word Count: 9.6k (hello longest oneshot i’ve ever written!!)

Warnings: some curse words, (responsible) alcohol consumption, slight angst?? honestly it’s just obliviousness, slow burn!!!

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This was a waste of time.

I'm sorry, the text read, something came up. Raincheck? ;)

Douche. He was the one that asked if you could do this today instead of tomorrow, so you moved your meeting. But apparently, that didn't matter, since he wasn't planning to show up anyway.

You blocked his number, leaving your place at the bar and heading towards the exit. You were in the middle of typing out a furious message to your friend who set you up on this blind date, when you collided with someone in your path quite harshly. You rubbed your arm where you bumped into the person and gazed upwards to meet his eyes.

"Sorry," you both said in unison.

The man let out a chuckle. "Sorry," he repeated, his amused eyes gazing into yours.

"No, I'm the one who should apologize," you said, "I wasn't looking where I was going," you lifted up your phone, gesturing to the reason.

"I'm sure it was important," he made a dismissive gesture with his hand, "don't worry about it."

"It really wasn't. Again, sorry," you grimaced.

"It's fine," he reassured you, "I was actually on my way to get another drink so it's not like I spilled anything, no harm done," he smiled.

"Well, I'm really glad. Have a good rest of your night," you smiled back. Thinking that was the end of it, you turned to continue your walk towards the exit, opening your texts to write that message to your friend, but as you were turning around the man reached out and grabbed onto your wrist, not harshly but enough to make you turn around to face him once more.

He immediately let go of your hand, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Sorry, I don't mean to intrude, it's just… you seemed kind of upset when I bumped into you, are you alright?"

You sighed, shaking your head with a smile, "I'm fine," you looked up at him, "just got ditched by this blind date. Guy didn't show, so I was writing a furious message to my friend who set me up," you chuckled, "that's why I wasn't paying attention."

"Sorry," he said with a sympathetic grimace. "So why were you writing to your friend and not to the guy? I mean, he's the one who bailed."

"No offense, but I learned not to expect as much from the male species," you smirked, and he chuckled in return. "Got bailed on one too many times to have high expectations. Honestly, I was only willing to go on this date cause my friend said this was a great guy and, according to her, I was 'on the sure road to becoming a spinster'. So, I appeased her," you shrugged. Your confession left your lips with such ease, you were almost taken aback by how easy it was to talk to this complete stranger this openly. Maybe, it was easier because you were strangers.

"Ah, I know what that's like. I mean, not the spinster part, the part about appeasing your friends," he chuckled. "They're over there," he gestured to a table a little to the back, "to 'cheer me up'. Said I needed to leave my house more. Although I don't know if they're still sober enough to remember that's why they're here," he smiled affectionately as he looked at his table. Sure enough, the guys looked pretty drunk, but the man didn't seem to resent them for it, he was just amused.

"What did you need cheering up for?" you asked once his gaze went back to meet yours.

"Well, I got dumped. We were together for a few years. I even had a ring," he raised his eyebrows, "but she said it wasn't working out anymore. At least she didn't know about the ring yet," he smiled bitterly.

"Small victories," you nodded sympathetically.

"Yeah," he chuckled, "anyway, she just finished taking the last of her stuff from ou- my place. She was really lingering with it, we broke up like a month ago. Didn't have the heart to rush her."

"I'm sorry," you put a comforting hand on his shoulder, albeit a bit awkwardly. He seemed to appreciate it anyway. "Your sob story's way worse than mine," you joked, getting a small huff of laughter out of him.

"I guess," he said. "But that means I get where you're coming from on the whole no dating thing. It just seems pointless," he shrugged.

"I'm sure this is the part where anyone else would've told you that it'll be okay and you'll find 'your person', but since I'm shittier than that I'll be honest – romance is dead and we'll both probably die alone," you said flatly.

Your blunt tone made him smile, which in turn made you smile, and you nodded as your words sank into the silence between you. You started giggling, and soon he followed, and you were both laughing softly for a while.

"I'm sorry," he said, still grinning, "I don't know why I'm laughing. It's sad."

"Very sad," you agreed, a grin on your face as well. "to be fair, spinsterhood doesn't sound that bad. Except for the cats thing. I'll never be a crazy cat lady," you shook your head, "they hate me, every single one. I'd get dogs though," you mused, "have a little army of 'em."

"Sounds fun," he smiled.

"Right?" you smiled back, "I'm telling you, it's not as bad as people make it out to be."

Wrapped up in your conversation, you were both still standing next to the bar, and another man pushed past you to get to the bartender. The bubble around the two of you exploded, and you remembered that you were still in public, at the bar.

"You should go get that drink you were here for," you said, gesturing towards the bar.

"Alright," he chuckled. Just then, the man finished ordering, so he told the bartender what he'd like to have, then turned to you.

"Hey, romance might be dead, but chivalry isn't. Let me buy you a drink," he grinned.

"Be still my beating heart," you feigned emotion, before a smile crept back onto your face. "I'll have whatever you're having," you shrugged, and waited as he told the bartender to bring you two another drink.

"So, if you're buying me a drink, I feel like it's only fair I should know your name," you smiled.

"That does seem fair," he sent a small smile your way. "I'm Chris," he put out his hand and you shook it, telling him your name in return.

"So, you come here often?" he smirked, prompting the both of you into another fit of laughter.

"For real though," you said once you got your drinks, "I'm really not looking for anything romantic right now. I hope that's okay."

"Of course," he reassured, "I'm not either."

"Okay good cause this is like, really tasty, so I wouldn't mind having a couple more," you held up the drink he got you with a grin, making him laugh.

You did have a couple more, with Chris. You ended up sitting at the bar, his friends not really noticing he was gone, and talking about anything and everything. You were almost reluctant to end the night, but you really should get home, which is what you told Chris before getting up and getting your wallet.

"Hey, no," he said and gestured for you to put it away, "I was serious, I'll pay."

"Really? I mean, this wasn't a date so I just thought-"

He shook his head adamantly and you put your hands up in surrender and smiled. "Okay. Thank you," you told him as you put your wallet away.

"You're very welcome. Although, there is something I still want to ask you. Can I get your number?"

You opened your mouth to protest, but before you could he spoke up again.

"Nothing romantic, I swear," he chuckled, "but it was really fun hanging out tonight. We should do it again. Completely platonically." He smiled sincerely.

You narrowed your eyes in mock suspicion before laughing. "Alright. Sure, you can have my number," you said, and he grinned before giving you his phone. You put in your number and gave it back.

"See you around, Chris," you smiled before leaving the bar, the smile lingering on your face all the way back to your house.

And when your friends asked you how the date was, you told them he bailed and you went home, never mentioning meeting Chris. You knew how they'd see it, and it wasn't like that, so you just… kept it to yourself. For now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On your way to Chris' house, you picked up the takeout from the place he told you about, before texting him you got it and you were almost there.

It's been a couple of weeks since you met him, and so far he was proving to be a great friend. You texted back and forth most days, but never found the time to meet up again, until today, that is.

You had texted him about your crappy day at work, and how happy you were this week was finally, finally over, so he invited you t his house, and suggested you watch a movie. And well, you accepted. A movie night with a friend was just what you needed to put this shitty week behind you.

"Hi," you greeted him once he opened the door.

"Hi!" he took the takeout bags from your hands and gestured for you to follow him inside, and into the kitchen. "So," he started, while taking out the food, "I realized forgot to tell you; I have a dog," he smiled apologetically, "I don't know if that's a problem, he's in my room upstairs, I won't-"

"Are you kidding?" you nearly squealed, "of course that's not a problem! I told you if I could I'd be a crazy dog lady," you giggled. "Can I meet him?"

"Great!" he chuckled at your enthusiasm, "sure, I'll go get him."

As he went upstairs, you stood there, looking around his kitchen. You weren't sure what to do, it seemed like he got all the food, and it wasn't your house, so… you just stood there.

Fortunately, you soon heard the patter of footsteps, and just as you were about to call out to Chris to ask him if there was anything you could do to help, you heard him yell out.

"Dodger!"

And just then, a big whirl of movement came towards you, and before you knew it a large dog was resting his paws on you, nearly knocking you back. You regained your footing before you crouched down to your knees with a beam.

"Hey," you cooed at the excited dog, who was wagging his tail and still trying to climb onto you, apparently. "Hey," you repeated yourself, rubbing behind his ears affectionately. "It's so nice to meet you," you kept cooing and stroking his fur. He propped himself up and licked your cheek, making you giggle. "Thank you, you're so cute," you scratched his neck affectionately.

"Sorry about him, he gets excited around new people," Chris came into the kitchen apologizing.

"No worries," you grinned as the large dog laid down on his back, exposing his stomach to you in a silent request for belly rubs which you willingly provided. "He's adorable," you looked up at Chris, who was grinning back at you.

"He really is," he agreed, going to finish putting the food in plates before lifting them.

"Can I help with anything?" you asked, still crouched down and petting Dodger.

"Nope, all set," he smiled, "let's go."

He led the way to his living room, where he set the plates down on the coffee table and picked up the remote. "So, what do you wanna watch?"

"Oh, I don't know," you shrugged as you sat down on the couch, "you can pick."

"Well, I would, but we're here because you've had a shitty week, so you should pick whatever you want."

"Ugh, don't remind me. See, Dodger would never do this to me," you turned your gaze to the dog, who has settled at your feet, and started petting him again. "Right? Of course you won't, you're the cutest dog," you cooed.

Chris burst out into a short laugh. "Are you going to steal my dog?"

"It's a very real possibility," you said dryly, shrugging. You turned your gaze to him, your hand still petting Dodger, and smirked.

"Okay, so are you gonna pick a movie now that we've settled that?" he asked, smiling.

"I don't know what to pick," you admitted, "I don't wanna put on anything you don't like, I guess," you mumbled.

"Awwwww, it's fine," he assured with an easy smile, "pick whatever."

You caved and put on a movie you really liked – The Princess Bride. As he realized what movie you were putting on, Chris chuckled.

"Really? That's what you're going with?"

"See? I told you I'd put on something you wouldn't like. Forget it, we can just-"

"No, no!" he cut you off, "I really like this movie," he grinned, "I just wouldn't expect that from someone who claims romance is dead, that's all," he chuckled.

"Well, movies have… dragons in them. Do you think dragons are real just cause they're in movies?" you reasoned.

"Okay, I see your point," he raised his hands in mock surrender.

A comfortable silence stretched over the both of you from that point, the only thing filling it was the sound of the movie playing and the occasional shuffling sound when either of you, or Dodger, shifted on the couch.

A bit later, Chris spoke up. "Hey, want a beer?"

"Uh, I probably shouldn't have any. Driving myself home and all," you shrugged.

"Yeah, that's smart," he chuckled. You were both lowering your voices, as if not to disrupt the movie which was still playing. "Mind if I have one?"

"Not at all," you answered truthfully, "It's your house."

He let out another short chuckle, nodding before getting up. When he heard Chris getting up, Dodger lifted his head from where he was laying, and swiftly followed him into the kitchen.

When they returned, Chris brought you a glass of water, and gave it to you before sitting down. Dodger jumped back up onto the sofa, curling up beside Chris, laying his head on his stretched-out legs.

"Awwww," you softly smiled, "that's adorable. He really loves you."

"Not nearly as much as I love him," Chris replied, smiling and fondly rubbing Dodger's head.

"See, that's good love. Love that lasts," you remarked. Thinking that was the end of it, you turned your head back to the movie.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Huh?" you turned your head back to Chris.

"What did you mean by that?" he repeated.

"Oh, nothing," you shook your head. "Just, you know. I know I seem very opposed to romance, but I'm not against love. I love my family," you shrugged, "because they made me the person I am today. They're a part of me. I just don't think that a love between two people who aren't family can last in the same way."

"Yeah. You're probably right. What about dogs though? They're certainly not blood related to us," he joked.

"Certainly," you laughed, "But dogs aren’t as fucked up as humans, so it's not really comparable. Dogs don’t stay up thinking about something embarrassing they did five years ago. Dogs probably don't even get embarrassed, really. They don't have as many doubts and… restrictions. Barriers. They don't have to make everything complicated."

"But humans do."

"Bingo," you chuckled dryly.

"We really do, don't we?" he sighed. "No one really knows what they're doing or who they are. How can you know someone else enough to truly love them when you don't even know yourself?"

"Exactly. You get it," you toasted your glass of water against his beer bottle. "it's too much effort for something that lasts so little."

"Not necessarily little," he suggested, "but never enough. You know, in movies, love is this big force of nature that draws two people towards each other so strongly… it's undeniable, unavoidable. Meant to be," he chuckled. "That feels so far away from anything I've ever experienced."

"Me too, if that's any comfort," you grimaced sympathetically. "Maybe we're just meant to be alone."

"Maybe. Anyway, that's grim," he chuckled, shaking his head. "Sorry."

"No, it's fine," you smiled. "Every time I talk about it with my friends, I get told I just haven't found the right person yet, and to keep on hoping and everything will magically be sunshine and rainbows," you fluttered your eyelashes cynically. "It's fun to know there's at least one more realistic person out there," you sent him a small smile, which he returned.

You both turned back to watch the movie, which was heading towards the end at this point. The handsome prince saves the brave princess. He's not really a prince, but, you know. Same difference; it's a fairytale, a legend.

Something no one can ever truly have.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chris and you had developed a habit of calling each other on Mondays, since they were the worst, and you both needed to vent. You were in the middle of one of those calls when something he said made you abruptly stop making your dinner.

"How come I didn't know it was your birthday?" you asked, surprised, at his admission that his birthday was yesterday.

"It never came up," he said. "Besides, it doesn't matter. The party's on Friday anyways, if you wanna come. You can bring some friends too, if you want. There's plenty of space."

"Yeah, okay," you smiled to yourself, "sure. Happy belated birthday, Chris."

"Thank you," he chuckled. "So you'll come?"

"Yeah, I'll be there, I guess," you sighed dramatically, prompting him to laugh.

"Great! See ya Friday," he said.

"See you."

After you hung up the call, you returned to your dinner, but not before texting your friends to invite them along. If you were getting on so nicely with Chris, you assumed the rest of his friends were nice people, so would in turn get along with your friends. Who were also nice people, obviously.

Or maybe, not so obviously.

There was an immediate flood of messages asking about who Chris is and how you met and if he's cute.

You ignored them in favor of finishing making your dinner, and only then sat down with your food and answered their questions, except for that last one.

He's a friend of mine I met not long ago, nice guy, you replied to the group chat.

And?? one of your friends texted.

And he invited me to this party he's throwing for his birthday, and told me I could bring friends, so now I'm inviting you guys. Hopefully, I won't regret that.

But is he cute???

I don't know, and I don't care. You know I'm not looking for anything right now!!

You're no fun. Fine, we'll come and see for ourselves ;P

You scoffed to yourself and continued to eat your dinner, unbothered. Maybe they should come, you mused, just to see that it's possible to make friends without dating them, like a sane adult.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Happy birthday!" you exclaimed as Chris ushered you and your friends into his house. "I brought you a wine," you extended the bottle and he took it.

"Thank you!" he said loudly, to overpower the music that was playing. "Is it good?"

"How should I know? I didn't drink from it, it's your gift!" you joked. He laughed before giving you a one-armed hug and waving at your friends. "I'm gonna put this away," he pointed towards the kitchen, "But you should go to the living room, everyone's there."

You gave him a thumbs up and led your friends towards the living room.

"He even laughs at your bad jokes," your friend cooed in your ear, and you sighed and rolled your eyes.

"We're not a couple!" you reminded her.

"Maybe not yet, but I'm just saying you'd make a good one," she shrugged, a twinkle in her eye.

You ignored her, and continued walking. On your way to the living room, you did see a whole bunch of other people, but still, the party wasn't huge, especially compared to Chris' large house. There were no more than probably about 80 people there, not including yourself and your friends.

Pouring yourself a drink, you sat down next to your friends, who were already making small talk with another group, and joined the conversation.

Some time went by before the conversation turned to romance, and everyone started sharing funny stories about their significant others.

"What about you?" asked a woman from the other group. She seemed friendly, an easygoing smile on her face. "Everyone has a story to tell."

Before you could answer, one of your friends chimed in. "Oh, she doesn't do romance," she teased.

"Sounds mysterious," the woman laughed.

"Yep," you smiled, amused, "that's me. Dark, brooding, and mysterious."

As you were all laughing, Chris came down to sit next to you. "Having a good time?" he asked the group with a smile, a model host.

"Yeah," one of your friends answered, "we were just talking about how this one never dates anymore," she pointed at you, and you caught Chris' look, amused. "What do you think about that?" your friends asked, oblivious to the silent exchange.

"I think she should do whatever she wants to," he answered with a smile.

"Oh, don’t be diplomatic," she said, "don't you think she should find someone?" she pressed.

"I think she should do whatever she feels like," he persisted.

"Whatever," your friend rolled her eyes with a smile. "Every pot has a lid. Sooner or later, you'll find yours," she said, your words pointed at you now.

You were quiet for a brief moment before speaking up. "Oh, you're done talking about me like I'm not here. Sorry, you were saying?"

The entire group burst into laughter, and you caught Chris' gaze again.

Sorry, you mouthed, shrugging.

It's fine, he mouthed back with a small smile.

The urge to kill your friend subsided when you saw Chris didn't take her pestering too seriously.

For the rest of the night, you proceeded to have a good time, making conversation with a few other people and only running into Chris one more time.

"Enjoying yourself?" he asked, toasting his cup to yours.

"Yeah. You throw a great party," you smiled.

"I'm glad you think that," he returned your smile.

After that you returned to your friends, and a little while later you all decided to head home. You searched for Chris, thanked him for hosting the party and wished him a happy birthday, and went home.

"You're telling me there's nothing there?" your friend asked you on the ride home.

"There's nothing there," you sighed. "I don't know why you all want there to be."

"We just know what it's like being in love. And we want that for you. It's fun," she smiled.

"Parkour also sounds fun, that doesn't mean I can or am going to do it," you retorted. "You know what I think about being in love. Different people have different paths and abilities. I can be happy without a sweeping romance."

"I know, you're a strong independent woman and you don’t need no man," she rolled her eyes. "Just… don't close yourself off to the opportunity. That's all I'm saying."

"Okay," you shrugged.

Shortly after, she dropped you off, and you went to sleep, thinking nothing of the whole ordeal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She came by today.

When you got the text from Chris on Wednesday, you were puzzled for a few moments before you realized. His former fiancée. I mean, almost fiancée.

Shit

Is everything okay?

It only took him a couple of seconds to reply.

Yeah, I guess.

On an obviously unrelated note, wanna come drink?

You chuckled before texting him your ETA, quickly changing from the already rumpled clothes you had worn all day, and driving to his place.

You texted him when you were outside, and when you walked up to his door it was already opened, and he was waiting for you, a bottle of beer in hand.

"Aw, you drove yourself here?" he asked, before ushering you in, "I told you we should drink."

"Yeah," you chuckled, "but it's not like there's anyone I can ask to drive me on a random Wednesday. It's fine, you drink."

"But I don't wanna drink alone," he whined. "Can't you just spend the night then? I have a guest bedroom."

You opened your mouth to refuse, but then assessed it again. You were in pretty comfortable clothes, you were starting work a little later than usual tomorrow, and well… he needed a friend, and he asked you.

"Okay, fine," you chuckled, "gimmie one of those," you gestured at his beer.

He made a little celebratory motion with his hand before going and getting you another beer.

"So," you started as you took a swig of your beer, "how was your day?"

He let out a short, bitter laugh. "Great. Yeah, just… just great," he took a large gulp of his beer. You waited, giving him the space he needed to speak again. "She wanted to get back together, actually," he scoffed. You frowned, but still refrained from speaking.

"You know, I… I still have the ring," his voice broke and he cleared his throat. "I still have the ring because I wanted her to come back. But when she finally did I… I couldn't say yes to her. Because it's forever or nothing. And I don't think I'm meant to have a forever. Certainly not with someone who broke up with me anyways," he took another sip of his beer.

"If it's any comfort, I don't think there's such a thing as forever," you shrugged, and he looked at you quizzically. "I told you," you said, "all romance is momentary."

"Maybe that's true," he sighed again. "At any rate, I am now stuck with this ring, which is just… fantastic. Really awesome."

"Can't you bring it back to the shop?"

"Tried to. They won't take it back, say it's been too long for their return policy. That money's lost," he took another sip of beer.

"Well, you know, if it's lost anyways…" you smiled, "I think I have an idea of what to do with it. but first," you raised your beer in a toast, "we do need to be a little drunker for this."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few too many drinks later, you and Chris were stumbling in a park near his home.

"How do you know where we are?" he asked, before nearly tripping on his face, making you giggle as he managed to catch himself on a nearby tree.

"I've been here before," you explained, a little less drunk than he was but still positively buzzed. "It's really pretty."

"It is," he agreed, taking in the trees around you as you kept going. "It's also very isolated. Are you going to kill me?" he suddenly stopped in his tracks.

"No," your loud laugh rang through the park, breaking the silence of the night. "I'm not gonna kill you. Promise. Now c'mon, we're nearly there!" you beckoned him to follow you as you ran forward.

The rest of the way went by quickly, the both of you striding hurriedly, or as hurriedly as your inebriated minds would allow, engulfed in the comforting silence of the night. Finally, you got to a clearing with a large lake.

The crescent moon reflected in the water, and the lake was shimmering slightly as the wind disturbed it. The only sounds were those of your slightly labored breath, the soft trickling of the water, and the occasional flap of a bird's wings. The silence surrounded you, but it wasn't suffocating, it was as clear as the water in front of you.

It was finally broken when Chris spoke up again.

"You got me drunk so you could drown me in a lake?"

You burst into another fit of laughter. "First of all," you said in between giggles, "if anyone got anyone drunk it's you convincing me to drun- drink."

It was his turn to laugh at your mix-up. "Shut up," you said, slapping his arm lightly. "Now c'mon. You have the ring, right?"

"Yep," he said, fishing it out of his pocket. "But why did you want me to bring it?"

"Well, the fact I'm not gonna drown you in the lake doesn't mean we're not drowning anything."

"My ex-fiancée?" his mouth dropped open into an o shape.

"No!" you facepalmed. "The ring. You're gonna throw the ring in the river!"

"I am?"

"God, I'm starting to think I got you too drunk," you rolled your eyes. "Okay. Here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna think about your relationship. You're gonna reminisce about everything, good and bad, and you're gonna put it in this ring. In your head, of course," you added before he could chime in.

"So I can let go," he nodded in understanding.

"Exactly," you smiled. "We don't need romance. Fuck romance. Fuck forever. You're better than that!"

"Amen!" he said, toasting an invisible glass in the air, making you laugh once more. It was probably the alcohol, but you hadn't laughed like this in a while. It was fun to laugh loudly, freeing. You wondered why you didn't do it more often.

"Alright!" you clapped your hands once, shaking from your thoughts. "Let's get this show on the road!"

You both stepped closer to the lake, and then Chris held out his hand in front of him, his palm open with the ring on it. He stared at it intently for a few moments, then his gaze snapped up to meet yours and he nodded shortly. You didn't speak, you just reached out and closed his fingers around the ring, before stepping aside and gesturing for him to go ahead. He stared at his fist for another moment before taking a swing and throwing the ring as far as he could. You held your breath until you heard the sound of the ring hitting the water, which made you release a breath full of awe.

"You did it," you said softly.

"I did it," he slowly repeated. "I did it!" he yelled out and you laughed in surprise. "I did it!" he yelled again, and in a few short strides he was next to you, picking you up and spinning you around in celebration.

"Put me down!" you shouted at him between fits of laughter, "Lunatic!"

He put you down, grinning widely. "I can't believe I just threw that ring into the lake. That was so stupid."

"It kinda was," you laughed, breathless.

"It was your idea!"

"I know! It's still stupid," you kept laughing, nearly doubling over. "Felt good though, didn’t it?"

"It really did," he let out a bewildered laugh. "Fuck. It really did," he said, and started laughing, which made you start laughing again, and before you knew it you were both laying on the grass, laughing until your cheeks hurt.

"My cheeks hurt," you pouted.

"Awww, I'm sorry," he drawled, reaching out to pinch your cheek, making you swat his hand away, glaring at him. He just giggled again, laying on his back and looking up to the sky.

You laid back as well, staring up.

"I wish I knew something about the stars," he said out of the blue.

"What do you wanna know?"

"Oh, just anything. I don't know jack shit about 'em."

"Well, I'm pretty sure that's Orion's Belt," you said, pointing up to a group of three stars. "So now you know that about the stars."

He said your name, making you turn your head to look at him. "You're a good friend," he smiled.

"You're a good friend too," you smiled back at him.

"No, I'm not. All I ever do is moan about my stupid ex."

"I'm sure she wasn't stupid," you reasoned.

"She was! She was stupid with two o's," he mumbled in disdain. You giggled at his words. "I'm not hung up on her," he continued. "I'm just… disillusioned. I thought she was the one. And now that she's gone… I don't know if there's gonna be a one. Which is sad. So I've been sad," he said matter-of-factly.

"I was sad too when I started thinking that," you whispered, sobering up a little. "But we don’t need 'a one', Chris. Romance is dead, but life goes on. We're on our own, but that doesn't mean we can't make the best of it."

"I spent so much of my life looking forward to spending the rest of my life with someone. And now that I realize that might not be the case… I guess I just realized that this is it. The rest of my life. I needed to throw that ring to make peace with that."

"Glad I could help," you gave him a half-smile, taking his hand in yours and giving it a small squeeze.

"Yeah," he returned a squeeze of his own, "me too."

"C'mon," you said, leaving his hand and getting up, before helping him to his feet as well. "We should get going."

You stumbled your way home, leaning on each other for some parts of the way. Sleepy and still a little buzzed, you finally got to his house, and he led you to the guest bedroom.

"Goodnight," he said, smiling.

"Goodnight," you whispered back, before he turned and walked up the stairs. You listened to him climb, and heard the sound of another set of footsteps, soft cooing coming from upstairs, and then heard the sound of a door closing.

Dodger, you thought with a smile, before closing your own door and plopping down on the bed.

In the last minutes of your wakefulness, you thought about how lucky dogs were.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, are you dating him?"

"No!" you said indignantly, "have you listened to a single word I said?"

"Oh, so you're just not putting a label on it? you're a little too old for those games if you ask me, but suit yourself," your friend shrugged.

"Come on! He's just a friend," you huffed.

"If that's what you wanna tell yourself," she smirked, but then her look became more sincere. "Look, I know you. I know that every time we talk about him, you're happy. Why can't you admit that you like him?"

"I do like him, as a person! I like all of my friends!"

"You're impossible," she rolled her eyes with an affectionate smile.

"You're impossible," you retorted weakly before smiling at her.

"You know we all just want you to be happy, right? That's all we want."

"I know," you said softly, "and I appreciate it. I really do. But I am happy, on my own."

"If that's the case, then I'm happy for you," she sighed. "I don't want you to feel like a third wheel, especially with Sarah's wedding coming up. You're the last of us who hasn't tied the knot yet."

"I'll be fine at Sarah's wedding," you rolled your eyes.

"I know, I know," she raised her hands in surrender, "But I'm just saying, I know you're anti-romance, but I also know you're not anti-company. Maybe you should bring Chris. As your friend, if you insist" she added when she saw you open your mouth to object. "Just, you know, everyone's coming with someone, and I don't want you to sit alone."

"I appreciate you looking out for me, I do, but seriously, I think you're underestimating my social skills. You do realize I can talk to people I don't know, right?"

"I know," she huffed. "Just… consider it, okay? For me?"

"I'll think about it, I guess," you shrugged.

You had no intention of following through on that. Except, well, it did come up when you were talking to Chris.

"What are you doing Friday?" he asked, his voice mechanical through the phone. "I thought we could finally see that movie you're always talking about."

"Nope, can't do Friday," you said, the phone pressed between your shoulder and your ear as you were folding your laundry.

"Aw, that's a shame. I was really looking forward to you finally shutting up about it," he teased, making you chuckle. "What're you doing Friday then?"

"First of all, if you'd listen to me and see it, you wouldn't wanna shut up about it either, because it's awesome. Second, I'm going to a friend's wedding. I'm gonna sit aside, drink some wine, and make fun of all the drunk couples."

"Sounds like a real fun night," he teased.

"Yeah," you said sarcastically. "I am really happy for her though. I know she wanted it for a long time," you said, sincere now.

"Hey, um, if you want, maybe I could come laugh at drunk couples with you? So you'll have some company," he offered.

"Oh, you don't have to," you dismissed it, "I know it sounds like a bummer, but really, I'll be fine."

"No, really. No one should have to sit alone at weddings," he said.

"Another friend of mine told me that as well."

"Well then, this friend of yours is smart. Believe me, as a veteran of many sit-alone weddings myself, I can confirm it's indeed a huge bummer."

"Fine," you chuckled, "I guess if you want to come so badly you may," you said, making him laugh.

"Great, text me the details?"

"Yep," you smiled. "Talk to you later?"

"Sure, bye!"

You hung up the phone to get up and start putting all your clothes into the closet. After you were done with that, you sent Sarah a text to let her know you will be bringing a plus one at the end, asking her if that'd be okay.

Is it Chris????

Yeah

Then it's fine!! :)))

You chuckled to yourself and kept putting away your clothes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night of the wedding, as a close friend of the bride's, you arrived at the venue a couple of hours beforehand, along with all of your friends. Chris came some time after guests started to arrive, and it didn't take you long to spot him in the crowds, looking a bit lost. You excused yourself quickly from the conversation you were in with some of the groom's friends and went to greet him.

"Hey!" you waved as you walked towards him, "Chris!"

Grinning when he saw you, he also began moving towards you, until you finally met in the middle.

"I'm glad you could make it," you smiled.

"I am too," he said, "seems like a nice wedding."

"Yeah. C'mon, you're just in time. They're gonna start the ceremony soon," you explained as you grabbed his arm and started leading him towards your seats.

"Oh-kay," he chuckled as you dragged him forward with surprising determination.

As you took your seats, you waved at your friends, and they freaked out over Chris being there, but you paid no mind to them, as Chris was leaning towards you, whispering, "You know, for someone who doesn't seem to enjoy romance, you sure do seem excited about this wedding."

"Well, I'm happy for Sarah. I've learned that me and my friends have a different outlook on that, and that's fine, it's useless to argue about it or whatever. I'm just happy she's gonna have what she wanted, even if I don't really believe in it."

"So how does that work? If you don't think romance is real and bring joy then how come you're happy your friend has it?"

"Chris, if one of my friends told me they found a way to adopt a unicorn, I'd be happy for them, no questions asked. Everyone should do what they feel like," you shrugged. "Now shhhh, they should be starting every minute now."

The ceremony was a beautiful one, and Sarah looked gorgeous in her white dress. As she walked down the aisle with a beaming smile, Chris' words echoed in your mind.

If you don't think romance is real and bring joy then how come you're happy your friend has it?

Despite your quick answer, you didn’t really know. The short answer was the one you told Chris, but the long one…

For the longest time, you believed romance just wasn't durable. Wasn't real. But maybe you just didn't believe that you can have that kind of romance? You just never really had someone to challenge your perception like that, because no one ever took it seriously, they just told you you'd find your person.

But that wasn't something you wanted to think about now, so you filled it away for later.

"It was a beautiful ceremony."

You and Chris were a little far out from the dancing crowd, somewhere a little quieter, but you could still see the dance floor from the bench you had found.

"Yeah, it was," you agreed with him.

"Not beautiful enough to make you cry, I guess?" he teased.

"Ha ha. I don't cry at weddings."

"I could've guessed that," he chuckled. "So what do you usually do at weddings? I mean, all your friends are married, so I'm assuming you've been to quite a few."

"What I'm doing right now. Sitting aside and drinking," you raised your glass in mock salute before taking a generous sip.

"Solid plan," he nodded slightly. "So you've never like, danced at weddings or anything?"

"No," you frowned, shaking your head slightly, "Why would I? I'm not a dancer, really.

"Well, how 'bout we go and change that?"

"Excuse me now?"

"I'm just saying, if you're really happy for your friend, maybe you should show her that. Enjoy yourself."

"I am enjoying myself," you deadpanned.

"Do what people are meant to do at weddings," he rolled his eyes.

"I thought you were here to silently judge everyone with me. Don't make me regret inviting you," you jokingly waved your finger at him as if you were telling him off.

"That's still the plan. We could just probably still do that on the dance floor," he shrugged. "Your call."

There was a short-lived silence before you sighed. "Fine. One dance," you warned.

Getting up, he offered his arm to you, which you took, and you made your way o the dance floor. You started dancing to the end of the upbeat song that was playing, but just then it changed into something a little slower, and people were pairing up.

"This is the money time," Chris winked, and offered you his hand. You took it, almost instinctively, and you started dancing to the song, his other hand on your waist while yours was on his shoulder.

"What do you mean money time?" you whispered.

"Okay. We're gonna turn around, and you're gonna look at the couple that's gonna be behind me," he said, turning the both of you around casually as you danced.

"Oh my god," you suppressed your laughter. "That's… I don't even know what to say. Are they even a couple or is he her da- oh nope, he just kissed her on the lips. God," you grimaced as Chris laughed at your expression. "I at least hope he's rich for her sake."

You both chuckled, and it was only a couple of moments later that you gasped with a smile. "Don't be obvious cause they're pretty close, but look at the couple to my right."

"Oh shit," he chuckled. "Remind me not to go to any secluded corner of this wedding. These two are probably this close to running off to do things I definitely wouldn't wanna see."

"Right?" you said, amused, "They're practically eye fucking. Have some decency!"

You both laughed again, and then Chris nodded his head subtly in another direction. "Look at those two."

They were a couple that wasn't dancing, they were sitting at a table close to the dancefloor, their foreheads touching, seemingly murmuring to each other.

"Betcha they're the kind of couple who does the whole 'no you hang up!' thing," Chris continued with an amused grin.

"Oh they so are!" you burst into laughter. "They probably share a single spaghetti from both ends."

"Lady and the Tramp style," you both said at the same time, prompting you to tear your eyes from the couple and look at each other, giggling.

You continued dancing through the next song, and the next one, and the one after that. For pretty much the rest of the night, you two danced together, continuing to invent silly stories about the people you saw, laughing at each other's cheesy anecdotes.

When it was getting late and the party was winding down, Chris offered you a ride home, since he hasn't drunk, and you gratefully accepted. You came here with your friends, and they were all probably staying longer, but you were getting a little sleepy, so you decided to call it a night.

"Let's just go say goodbye to Sarah," you said and he nodded, letting you lead the way.

"Hey, I'm getting pretty tired, so we're gonna leave. Congratulations," you smiled once you had gotten to the table the happy couple was sitting at. As Chris was shaking the husband's hand, you had bent down to wrap your arms around Sarah in a tight hug.

"So you admit you're a 'we' now? You and Chris?" she teased, whispering in your ear.

"We're not," you rolled your eyes.

"Whatever you say," she smiled knowingly. "Thank you for coming," she said louder once you let go of her.

"It was a pleasure, congratulations," Chris smiled at the both of them, and you all gave your goodbyes.

On the way back, you were already lulling into sleep in the passenger's seat, and Chris smiled to himself.

"Chris," you mumbled from your half-asleep state.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For coming with me today. You're right. Dancing with you is better than sitting alone."

"Wow, what a compliment," he drawled sarcastically.

"Yeah, don't let it get to your head buddy," you chuckled, before shifting around in your seat so your head was leaning on the window. "Can you wake me up when we get there?"

"Sure," he smiled, "Sweet dreams."

"Thanks," you yawned.

When you got to your house, Chris gently nudged your shoulder a few times to wake you up. You woke up, confused for a second, but quickly regained your composure and thanked him for the ride.

You went into the house, barely changing out of your dress before plopping down on the bed.

It was kind of weird, honestly. Usually, no matter how tired you were, you wouldn't manage to fall asleep in a car, or a plane. Even a bed that wasn't yours was sometimes harder to sleep in.

But you were in your own bed now, so you didn't have a lot of time to mull that over before you sunk into a deep sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey," Chris greeted over the phone one Monday.

"Hi! How's it going?" you smiled.

"Fine. I mean, actually, do you wanna come over?"

"Right now?" you frowned.

"I mean, why not? Have the Monday chat in person."

"Um, sure. Yeah, I'll be over in a bit," you said. Hanging up, you didn't think too much of his invitation. He sounded fine, and he said he was. He was probably just being nice.

Soon enough you were knocking at his front door. It opened to reveal a very excited Dodger pouncing on you, and you giggled as you crouched down to pet him. "Yeah, hi Dodger! How's the cutest boy doing?"

"Ouch," Chris joked from the doorstep.

"Hello to you too, I guess," you said dryly, but with a grin on your face.

You all went inside, and Dodger went straight to his bed, curling up. "Your knock woke him up," Chris explained, smiling at the sight.

"Oh, sorry," you gave him a small smile.

"It's fine. As you can see, he has no problem going right back to sleep," he chuckled.

"Yeah," you giggled. "Is everything okay? I mean, is there a reason you wanted me to come except to enjoy my magnificent presence?" you teased.

"Well, that was mostly it," he laughed, "but actually, I did want to talk to you about something. Wanna go outside?"

"Um, sure," you said, frowning slightly before forcing yourself to smile again.

You stepped outside into his garden, sitting in the big lawn chairs.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" you asked, turning your head to look at him.

"That's Orion's Belt, right?" he evaded, pointing at a group of stars in the night sky.

"I'm pretty sure it is," you shrugged.

For a moment, you were both quiet.

"I've changed my mind," Chris started. "This isn't the rest of my life. It's just my life."

"Okay," you said, not getting where he was going with this.

"You know, all these cheesy couples we made fun of at Sarah's wedding? I think they have it right."

"How come?"

"They realized that romance isn't about forever. It's about right here, right now. It’s in the little things. I've been so opposed to romance lately, and I was constantly thinking about how I wouldn't have a forever, so much so that I forgot what's going on now."

"And what's that?" you asked softly.

"Something much simpler than that. Happiness."

You stared at each other in silence, a slight frown still on your face.

"You make me happy," Chris admitted in a soft voice. "You make me really happy. And I don't want to lose your friendship, but I have to ask you this, because otherwise I don't think I'd forgive myself. Do you really not believe in romance? At all?"

"I don't know," you whispered. Clearing your throat, you continued a bit louder. "I don't believe in everyone's version of it. The happily ever after, forever. I don't need anyone to complete me either."

"There's always a middle road. Maybe not everyone has someone, and we don’t need romance, but that doesn't mean we're not allowed to want it. We shouldn't have to sit alone at weddings," he said sincerely. After a breath, he continued. "I'm not asking you for forever. I don't want to. But I want to ask you for now. And I don't think I'd complete you, just like you don't complete me. But you do make my life a whole lot better."

"Chris, you know I'm not looking for anything, I told you that when we met," you said weakly.

"I know. I also wasn't looking for anything. And yet I found… something. And I'd be a coward not to pursue it. We can make our own kind of romance; not a happily ever after, but a happy here and now. No big cheesy gestures, or unreasonable promises, just… being together. And that means I can't promise you it'll work, that it'll be perfect. Hell, it'll probably be messy, and hard, and mundane, at times, but that's how life is. But I can promise I'll try. And even if it doesn't work out, I'm willing to regret you for the rest of my life."

You thought back to every romantic relationship you've had. Every date you've been on. A lot of them were disappointing, but some of them were good.

None of them made you as happy as being with Chris did. Not one of your actual dates managed to top just hanging out with Chris. You didn't know why, but you felt safe with him, like you can be entirely yourself. You felt happy.

You didn't want to risk that. You didn't want to lose that. But what if taking this one risk would make it all that much better? You thought back to all of your friends, how happy they were with their significant other, how in love. What if putting your heart out on the line, for the first time in a long while, would make you happier than you had ever imagined?

Of course, it could also make you devastated. It could crush you. But that's the risk, isn't it?

There isn't any other person you'd rather take that leap with, you realized. In the few months you knew Chris, he already managed to become one of your favorite people in the entire world. You trusted him, cared about him, more than you'd let yourself realize up until now. And like he said, not exploring that would make you a coward. And you're not.

You took a deep breath. Chris gave you the time you needed, simply looking at you softly.

"I haven't dated anyone in a while. I might be rusty," you chuckled finally.

"I'm willing to take those odds," he smiled. "Is that a yes?"

"Yes," you nodded, a grin slowly making its way onto your face. "If there's anyone I would do this with, it's you," you admitted softly.

He grinned, getting up from his chair and extending his hand out to you, and you accepted. Gently, he pulled you up on your feet, using his momentum to bring you to stand closer to him and wrapping his other arm around your waist. Slowly, you two inched closer, until, finally, his lips were on yours.

There weren't fireworks, or butterflies. There was just this moment, right here, right now. No doubts, or hesitations, it was peaceful. It felt right.

This moment was all you could ever ask for. All you'd ever need.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You look so beautiful in the mornings," Chris murmured, burrowing his head into the crook of your neck.

"You too. Happy birthday," You whispered back, weaving your fingers into the hairs on the nape of his neck. He hummed in response, and you giggled, feeling it tickling your neck.

You laid there for a while more, just basking in each other's company. But when you looked at the clock, you started nudging Chris away from you. "We should get up," you said softly, "We have a party to prepare for."

"The party's not until the evening," he whined, "Stay in bed," he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you towards him.

You ended up leaving the bed at noon, eating a big lunch before tidying up for the party. A few minutes later, you slipped away, to set up your surprise.

"Hey Chris?" you called from the other room, "Can you just come over here for a second?"

"Coming!"

He entered to find you and Dodger in matching little party hats, and you were holding one out for him too.

"Wow!" he burst into laughter, putting the party hat on his head. "What's all this for?"

"I thought we should celebrate a little before the guests arrive," you shrugged. "And, you know, Dodger looks so cute in that little hat."

"He does," Chris cooed. "How did you manage to put it on him? He would never let me put anything."

"Well, he just likes me more," you smirked. Chris scoffed amusedly. "Okay fine," you rolled your eyes, "I may have bribed him with a treat."

Dodger's ears perked up at the word and you both laughed at the suddenly interested dog.

"I shouldn't have said that," you giggled.

"Probably," he agreed. "Thank you," you put his arm on the small of your back, nudging you closer to his side.

"You're welcome. Happy birthday," you smiled, tilting your head up to press a soft kiss to his lips. He cupped your cheek in his hand, deepening the kiss, but before it could get any further Dodger was barking and putting his front paws on the both of you.

"Yeah, yeah, don't get jealous. We love you too," you and Chris laughed, petting his head affectionately.

Honestly that day was a perfectly normal day for you and Chris. Being in love for the two of you didn't mean big highs and lows. You had your moments, but most of the time, it was just this peaceful bliss.

Later that night, the party was already in full swing. You and Chris separated from each other at some point, but you were making the rounds, so you knew sooner or later you'd meet up again.

In the small crowd, it was easy to spot your friends, sitting with the same group they did last year. You smiled to yourself, going up and greeting everyone warmly.

"How's everyone doing?" you asked, sitting down for a moment.

There was a chorus of "fine"s and "good"s before the conversation continued. You joined in, talking to your friends and catching up with the other group.

"Hey," Chris' voice was suddenly next to you. He came up and wrapped his arms around you from behind, talking softly next to your ear. "I'm gonna get myself another beer. You want anything as well?"

"Um, yeah. Can you bring me one too?"

"Sure," he smiled.

You tilted your head so you could reach and kiss his cheek, "Thanks."

As he walked away, you turned your attention back to the rest of the group, only to find them all looking at you with knowing grins.

"I thought you didn't do romance," said the woman you had spoken to last year, a teasing smile on her face.

"I didn't. I guess I changed my mind," you smiled softly, watching Chris’ back as he dissappeared into the kitchen.

Maybe romance wasn’t so bad after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

did you catch the three references? tell me:)) i hope you like it, and if you stuck through this entire story, thank you so so much for reading!! as always, i’d love to hear your thoughts, and remember to stay hydrated and take care of yourself<3 happy chris day!!

special shoutout for @animnerd who gave me some motivation when i needed it<3

Taglist: @horny-nd-bored @shannon124 @perfectlyharolds @wintersoldierslut @iceebabies @sleepingpapermouse @steverogerswasalwaysworthy @holtzkinnon @angelicl-y @stydia-4-ever @thatoneperson5000 @fangirlfree @kaitcordx25 @bequeening @steve-barry-damon-logan @itscrazycherryblossomcollection @hollandxmarvel @stargazingfangirl18 @readsreblogsfics @onetwo3000 @beritmetal @harrystylesholland @jazbot2000 @anobscurename @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @peggycarter-steverogers @evansphnx12 @starlightcrystalline @procrastinatingsapphictrash @imvivian

Chris & co. taglist: @patzammit

if you wanna join / be removed from a taglist, comment/message me! much love <3

#chris evans x reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x you #chris evans fluff #happy birthday chris evans

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duskstar727 · 3 years

Text

I Read Leopardstar's Honor So You Don't Have To: A Review (Not Spoiler Free)

Oh Leopardstar. A cat who has long divided the fanbase as a leader beloved by some and despised by others. After years of waiting (for some) she was finally given her own super edition. In a word it was... underwhelming.

Introduction:

The book opens during Leopardstar's kithood days. The first scene is adorably heartwarming- readers are treated to Leopardkit and her denmates playing the warriors version of hide and seek, and there are some absolutely adorable moments here, such as Crookedjaw helping Leopardkit escape the seeker by whisking her away on his back, and Mudfur doting on his daughter. The scene takes a sharp turn when Skykit, one of Leopardkit's denmates, lures her away from the group to shove her head underwater and berate her for giving away Skykit's hiding place in the last round of hide and seek. Skykit's actions are startlingly cruel here, as she tells Leopardkit that she's a rotten kit that killed her own mother and that she is doomed to the dark forest like all the other murderers. This understandably disturbs and traumatizes Leopardkit, and when she speaks to her father about it, Mudfur reassures her that she is good, and that Brightsky came to him in a dream to say that Leopardkit will one day save RiverClan. Leopardkit latches on to this dream, and the book follows her through relatively disjointed moments in her life as she tries to live up to her destiny.

Pacing:

The pacing of the book is an absolute nightmare. We don't spend long enough in any one part of Leopardstar's life to see her have any meaningful interactions with other cats, and thus the majority of the relationships she has seem surface level at best, forced at worse, with Whiteclaw being a notable exception. She spends maybe 3 chapters as a kit, 3 as an apprentice, 3 as a warrior, 2 as a mentor, and so on. As a result, we don't actually get the opportunity to see Leopardstar learning or struggling in a meaningful way at any point. We're TOLD she's a hard worker, that she's dedicated and loyal, but the book gives you little chance to actually see it. The book slows down long enough to force an almost love story with Frogtail, which Leopardstar ultimately gives up on to focus on her work, but then a few chapters later Frogtail is dead and it's back to jumping around through her life.

The book really suffers from a lack of side characters and relationships to help things feel connected. The only real through line is this silly dream from Mudfur-not even an official prophecy- that Leopardstar focuses on to the exclusion of all else. Compare this to Crookedstar's Promise and Bluestar's Prophecy- while both books feature a greater destiny that the characters focus on throughout the book, they are given the chance to develop meaningful relationships that last for large chunks of the book. Bluestar has her relationship with her sister and her rivalry with Thistleclaw, and even her friendship with Thrushpelt, all of which allow her story to feel genuine and naturally lend themselves to interesting subplots. Crookedstar has his relationship with Mapleshade, his romance with Willowbreeze, his desire to prove himself to his mother- again, all things that make him feel like a well rounded, multifaceted character. Leopardstar has her dream, and ONLY her dream. None of her friendships last more than a few chapters before the other character is killed off. Her most meaningful relationship, with her apprentice and adopted son Whiteclaw, has the potential to round out Leopardstar's character, but Whiteclaw's fate has been predetermined. We all know he's going to die in the gorge because we see it happen in Fire and Ice. After Whiteclaw's death, Leopardstar briefly has a compelling relationship with Silverstream after she discovers her relationship with Graystripe. Silverstream and Leopardstar have opposing priorities of love and duty, and the interactions between them are an interesting insight into both characters. Silverstream actively rebukes Leopardstar's mindset and challenges her priorities, something that would have been invaluable in making Leopardstar's choice to join Tigerstar seem more consequential. But Silverstream too is doomed to die, and by the time the book reaches its climax, Mudfur is the only cat left to challenge Leopardstar's choices. Instead of letting the rift between father and daughter build, Leopardstar has no problem simply banishing her father and medicine cat for disagreeing with her. No one that she cares about is left to challenge her for her decisions, and thus there are no real stakes to the choices she makes. Sure, Stonefur dies and its awful, but the book doesn't bother to develop any real friendship or camaraderie between the two, so it doesn't feel as impactful as it should. The book concludes with Leopardstar understanding that she's wrong and Mudfur convincing her that she's going to save the Clan from the disaster she helped create. At the very least, Leopardstar seems to understand the problems with this and points out that it's not really her saving the Clans, its Firestar. This is completely true, as she has no role in Tigerstar's downfall and no role in stopping Scourge. The best that can be said for Leopardstar is that she doesn't get in the way of Firestar here.

She faces no real struggles aside from her father's doubt as to her ability to lead, a dynamic already witnessed between Brambleberry and Crookedstar and done much better.

Awful editing:

This book suffers from an almost unbelievable lack of care on the part of the editors, with big chunks of text very obviously cut and pasted to different parts of the story without any effort to edit out nonsequitors. The most painful instance of this revolves around Stormpaw and Featherpaw's apprenticeship. In one scene, Leopardstar comments on the fact that Primrosekit and Pikekit will be made apprentices any day (Reedkit is inexplicably absent here, and Perchkit seems to have died offscreen though it is never mentioned) and notes that Stormkit and Featherkit still have their kit fluff and look tiny next to their older denmates. A couple paragraphs later, we see Featherkit and Stormkit being apprenticed to Mistyfoot and Stonefur, in a paragraph that EXPLICITLY STATES that it's the very next day. The other kits have mysteriously been apprenticed already. Boulder and Jaggedtooth of ShadowClan are inexplicably present at the ceremony, despite there being no mention of their arrival at any point and Leopardstar refusing Tigerstar's offer to join their two Clans together the day before. A few pages later (yes, literally just pages later, that's how atrocious the pacing is) we cut to a battle between RiverClan and ThunderClan at the Sunningrocks, where Stonefur and Mistyfoot's parentage is revealed. Leopardstar doesn't actually hear this, but she does overhear them discussing it in the most painfully forced way possible moments later. Leopardstar finds herself absolutely HORRIFIED that she's apprenticed two half-Clan cats to half-Clan mentors.... and then a few chapters later, after forming TigerClan, Tigerstar asks her if she still intends to make Mistyfoot and Stonefur mentors to Featherkit and Stormkit despite their parentage, to which Leopardstar responds that they are still loyal RiverClan warriors. Yes, I'm serious.

Leopardstar's character:

This super edition is nothing but a showcase of the absolute worst aspects of Leopardstar as a character. Throughout the book she is shown as racist, battle hungry, self-centered, foolish, and utterly lacking in compassion or even pity for any Clan other than her own. She is constantly making racist generalizations about cats from other Clans, actively wishes for WindClan's downfall, sides with Tigerstar simply because Fireheart is a kittypet, and, perhaps most disturbingly, tries to murder Fireheart in cold blood because of his kittypet background. This book literally does nothing to endear the reader to Leopardstar, it makes her out to be the most despicable, honorless cat imaginable. And honestly, if you're not a Leopardstar fan, I think that's one of the most compelling things about this book. The desire to see what atrocities Leopardstar would commit next was what kept me interested in the story, honestly it was the only reason I finished it. There was something morbidly fascinating about watching a character so self absorbed and lacking in compassion interact with the world around her. It was enjoyable in a way to see a character so deeply set in the beliefs that the series has repeatedly established as wrong time and time again. Pacing and editing aside, this difference in philosophy is a breath of fresh air after the same recycled plotlines and moral messages that the series has been using for years. This book isn't going to make you like Leopardstar, but it is going to make you love to hate her.

What the book did right:

While there were very few positives to the book, it wasn't completely lacking in value. The book succeeded in developing a deeply meaningful relationship between Whiteclaw and Leopardstar that, thankfully, wasn't a romance. Their mother/son and mentor/apprentice relationship does a good job at setting up Leopardstar's grudge against ThunderClan over Whiteclaw's death as we see it play out in the first arc. Honestly, Leopardstar as a character would have been served far better if this had just been a novella detailing the relationship between these two. That was probably the only real thing of value in the book, honestly. Aside from that, Frogtail and Leopardstar's relationship, while I personally found it completely unnecessary, addressed a topic I've been hoping to see in warriors for a while now-- two characters who love each other but decide that the things they want out of life are mutually incompatible, and part ways amicably. Leafpool x Crowfeather and Bluestar x Oakheart both almost did this, but fell short because it was only ever really one character who decided to end the relationship. Unfortunately, the value in this message is somewhat diminished by the fact that Leopardstar later laments multiple times that she should've given up on her goals and just had kits with Frogtail instead, an absolutely disgusting conclusion that plays into the recurring problem of misogyny in warriors where women aren't allowed to be both mothers and hold a position of power, they have to choose between the two.

All in all, this Super Edition is easily the worst so far in terms of plot, pacing, and writing, but I still found some enjoyment in reading the perspective of such a selfish, cruel protagonist.

#warrior cats #warriors #warriorcats #wc #leopardstar #leopardstar's honour #leopardstar's honor #Leopardstar's honor review

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aminiatureworld · 3 years

Text

Irrational

Characters: Ganyu, Jean, Keqing, gn!reader

Word Count: 4,100

Warnings: Alcohol

Premise: Emotions aren’t always rational, a fact easy enough to ignore when one is happy or in love, or in any similar situation. However more negative aspects aren’t always as easy to ignore.

In which the reader’s s/o is jealous.

Author’s Note: This is our welcome for Jean! I have to admit she was really enjoyable to write. Especially in a prompt such as this, my guilty pleasure trope.

Not proofread because I’m tired will do so tomorrow.

Ganyu

Relationships were still something that often eluded Ganyu. Friendships, work dynamics, love, they all spun around in her head, and though she sometimes found her bearings, relationships still felt like walking on a tightrope high above a dark and churning sea.

These thoughts and feelings still lingered in her mind, even now when her relationship with you was rock solid she still worried. Ganyu was a mess of repressed emotions; isolated from most of humanity she still felt the need to be absolutely perfect near you, to never let her emotions get the best of her, to be the best partner one can be.

Which is why she hated those stupid love notes.

They’d started arriving about a year and a half into your relationship. At first you’d thought it was from her, but your look of happiness quickly turned to one of embarrassment and slight discomfort when she revealed she had no idea who was leaving little gifts and notes at your desk. Although you made a point to get rid of them as soon as you’d read the contents of the letter they still kept coming, and every day Ganyu saw one of those pink little envelopes on your desk she grew more and more irritated.

And yet Ganyu still didn’t want to tell you, for she was afraid that you would think she was suspecting you in some ways. You couldn’t control what was going on after all, why should she burden you with her fears, with the emotions that threatened to squeeze all the air out of her lungs and tear her thoughts to shreds. No, she wouldn’t burden you with this, she’d take care of it herself. You wouldn’t want to be bothered with her stupidity anyways, it’d only cause more problems.

“I really don’t understand who’s doing this.” You groaned, entering the office one morning to the sight of a rose on your desk, the telltale envelope attached to the stem with a red ribbon. Walking over to it, dragging your feet in a way that made Ganyu, who had been standing behind you, giggle you tore open the letter in one nonchalant movement.

“What does it say?” Ganyu kept her voice as soft as possible, trying desperately to ignore the emotions that were threatening to cut off her throat. How long was this going to go on?

“Oh listen to this,” you scoffed, turning towards Ganyu, a wry sort of smile plastered across your face, “my dear friend – as if whoever this creep is would ever be a friend of mine. I noticed recently that you’ve become quite close to the secretary of the Liyue Qixing. I would never question your decisions – oh of course not – but I find that work romances never last. Perhaps if we were to meet I could explain to you why, though I’m sure you already know the reasons yourself and would never dream in participating in such a thing. Still, I await you reply. Sincerely, your secret admirer.”

With a flourish you bowed, before promptly chucking the letter in the trash. “Well at least they seem finally to be catching on to the fact I’m disinterested. Honestly though, I don’t know what this person is thinking. I really ought to complain to the department, see if they can’t find out why this is happening.”

“I agree,” Ganyu couldn’t help but let disgust fill her voice, “this is harassment. You really ought to tell someone about it.”

“You’re right,” you nodded, before sighing. “I’d hate to be a pain though…”

“You aren’t!” Ganyu shook her head, indignant at the insinuation. “Protecting yourself isn’t being a pain. This isn’t merely distracting, it’s concerning. You deserve better.”

“Thank you Ganyu.” You smiled; glancing around to make sure no one was there you gave her a soft peck on the cheek. “You’re always looking out for me.”

“Of course I am!” Ganyu replied, her face burning slightly. “I love you.” She added softly.

“I love you too.” You smiled. Sitting down you glanced at the rose as if it were a weapon rather than a flower. “A pity they keep sending flowers, I hate to throw out the poor things.” Hesitating you took it in your hands, smiling sheepishly as you stuffed it into your desk drawer. Ganyu smiled back, attempted to ignore the small twinge of annoyance that rattled in her and whispered that she should burn the reminder of her suffering.

The two of you had worked later than usual that day, and it showed the next morning as you failed to show up at your usual spot. Although Ganyu might’ve normally waited for you, today she glanced around her before quickening her pace as she made her way towards the Qixing headquarters. This was the opportunity she’d been waiting for, and though she felt slightly bad about sneaking around behind your back she was also at her wits’ end, and if she wasn’t going to tell you then she was surely going to figure out once and for all what was going on.

The door had been left open by the last person who entered, and Ganyu wrinkled her nose at the irresponsibility of such a thing before walking inside herself. The office was mostly dark, and the contrast of your light being the only one visible throughout the hallway immediately put her on high alert.

Her suspicions were justified when she walked through the door. A man was standing at the edge of your desk. In one hand was a bouquet of flowers and in the other was an all too familiar note. Although Ganyu might’ve normally been merely frightened and appalled she now found herself more angry than anything else, and her words were spat out with a vehemence she hadn’t entirely known she’d possessed.

“What in Teyvat do you think you’re doing here?” She asked, voice shaking slightly. The man jolted and turned around, relazing when he saw who it was. That was a mistake.

“Ah it’s the secretary,” His smile was mocking and the way he bobbed his head made it clear he thought nothing of the half-adeptus in front of him. “I was wondering who would catch me eventually. Didn’t expect it to be the Tianquan’s personal servant.”

“Answer my question.” Ganyu spoke once more, completely unfazed by the insults of a man who was so utterly loathsome. “What are you doing here.”

“You’re rather dull aren’t you,” the man’s tone was a dismissive as before, “I didn’t realize this needed any explanation. I think it’s very clear that I’m here to deliver something to this office’s owner.”

“Do you even know their name?” If Ganyu hadn’t been so angered perhaps she would’ve found the man’s expression hilarious. He seemed to be completely malfunctioning.

“Of course I know it!” He finally let out. “It’s written on the plaque outside the door if you’ve forgotten. But I doubt you would. You seem awfully close to them recently.”

“That’s none of your concern.”

“Oh but it is.” The man’s smile was utterly enraging. “They’re very important to me after all.”

“They aren’t even aware of your existence.” Ganyu spat. Approaching closer she drew herself up as tall as she could. “They’d never have anything to do with someone as worthless and creepy as you.”

“What exactly am I doing that’s creepy?” The man backed away slightly, slight panic mixing with defensiveness. “I’m only showing them how much I care for them! What’s wrong with that? You’re just jealous aren’t you. You want them for yourself, don’t you. Well you can’t have them, because they’re mine.”

“They don’t belong to anyone.” Ganyu replied, voice made soft and hoarse from the anger burning in her chest and pounding in her ears. “And if you can’t see that then you’re even worse a person than I thought you could be. You may think them something to possess, and you worthy to possess them; but in reality you’re lower than dirt and they owe you nothing, not even the air you breathe. You should leave now. You may have no respect for privacy, or rank, or profession. But the Liyue Qixing are nowhere close to incompetent. And if you value a life not spend in total societal isolation or, Morax forbid, behind bars, I suggest you never return.”

“You really ought to listen to her.” Your voice was music to Ganyu’s ears after what had just passed. Turning her head slightly she saw you leaning against the door, a grim smile painted across your face. “She’s the person in this office least likely to simple chuck you out the window.”

Gulping slightly the man finally moved. Shooting one last glare at both you and Ganyu he scuttled out into the hallway. Only when she heard the front door close did Ganyu breathe a sigh of relief.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” She said, flushed with embarrassment and the lingering anger she felt. “I shouldn’t’ve threatened them, or lost my temper like that.”

“You were utterly in your right.” You smiled. “In fact you were quite gallant if I do say so myself!”

“I lost control of myself,” Ganyu shook her head, “I wasn’t thinking about doing the right thing, or protecting you. I wasn’t thinking of anything. I was only angry. Angry and… well I don’t know.”

“Jealous?” You suggested. Flushing, Ganyu glanced at the ground.

“Maybe.” She whispered.

The half-adeptus glanced up in surprise as you wrapped you arms around her. After a while she returned the gesture, and for a while there was simply silence as you two basked in each other’s presence.

“You shouldn’t feel bad about being jealous.” You spoke after a while. “Every feels jealous sometimes, it’s completely normal. And in this case it was positively valiant! Even if you weren’t thinking of me, you still stood up for me. And I couldn’t be more grateful.”

“I lost my temper.” Ganyu was stubborn in her conviction that what she’d done was wrong. Lessons that she’d taught herself about displaying her emotions passed through her thoughts. “It’s not good to be jealous. I’ll only end up pushing you away if I keep losing myself to my emotions.”

“Being jealous is only a problem when it spirals out of control,” you replied, “being offended at the way someone speaks about your partner, or disliking the fact your partner is getting sent weird letters every day is something that any normal person would be jealous about. Even if the person turned out to be such a lout like that one.”

“You aren’t angry?” Ganyu ventured, still skeptical. You drew away slightly so she could see your face. You were smiling brightly.

“Not a bit.”

“Good.” Ganyu smiled back.

You nodded your head. Apparently satisfied you moved to grab the stuff you’d left in the doorway. Still somewhat unsure Ganyu walked over to you.

“Um, can I ask something?”

“Sure!” You replied. “Anything.”

“Um… can you get rid of the rose in your desk?”

You paused for a moment before giggling. Walking over to your desk you took out the offending flower, opening the window and throwing it out onto the lawn.

“There we go.” You turned around. “I’m sorry if that was making you uncomfortable. Tell me next time you’re feeling jealous, alright?”

“Okay.” Ganyu whispered.

Relationships were confusing. So many invisible lines that one might trip over. Still Ganyu would gladly learn where the lines were in regards to you. For she loved you. So very much.

Jean

Jean didn’t like work parties at the best of times, but now it was all she could do not to scream as she watched the young knight next to you begin to break into verse, proclaiming to all the – hopefully blacked out – knights around you that he loved only you.

Normally Jean was pretty dismissive of the antics of her coworkers. Being the Acting Grand Master she saw it as her duty never to be too punishing, always aware not only of the power she held in such a position, but also of the respect that she had garnered, that she had worked tirelessly for. The Knights of Favonius, from the highest ranked captain to the lowest foot soldier, was comprised up of well meaning, enthusiastic workers. Despite all their faults she cared deeply about them all, and could often sidesteps their antics as the result of their camaraderie.

This time however felt different. Even if Jean knew full well that the knight probably meant nothing serious by it, knew that he was simply drunk and having a good time, she still couldn’t help the coil of emotions that wound taught into her stomach. Scowling slightly into her drink she cursed herself. Maybe she was the tipsy one, for only a fool would be jealous in a situation like this.

“Feeling already Grand Master?” Kaeya’s voice was as cheerful and as unassuming as usual, not at all revealing the fact that he should’ve been utterly plastered. Now he simply sat down across from his irritated coworker, taking another swig before glancing over towards what was capturing Jean’s attention.

“What do you want Kaeya?” Jean asked, attempting to steer the conversation away from its obvious ending. Kaeya was currently the only member of the knights who knew of the relationship between the two of you, and though he took that honor very seriously he was also quick to tease, something made only worse by his current state.

“Ah I see what’s going on.” Kaeya smirked, refusing to cooperate. “What’s going on here? A lover’s quarrel perhaps. No. Our dear adventurer seems hardly happy with the situation. What could it be then?” He let out a sudden gasp. “Is our dear knight jealous?”

“Neither they nor I are ‘our dear’ anything.” Jean pointed out, rolling her eyes. “And I’m hardly jealous. Only pitying the poor soul for the embarrassment he’s going to feel tomorrow if he or anyone in his regiment remembers this.”

“Ahh, I see.” Kaeya replied, tone of voice making it plenty obvious that he didn’t believe Jean one bit. Shooting him a dirty look Jean sighed, once more raising the beer she was drinking to her lips. She didn’t much like beer really, but it was sort of the signature drink of Mondstadt – unless you were rich enough to afford Dandelion Wine on the regular, which few were – and Jean felt the compulsion to blend in with those around her in taste and in manner. Although in this case it was becoming difficult to do so.

Was she jealous? Although Jean would like to say surely not she wasn’t so naïve or so optimistic. She knew very well that she was jealous, but there really was no reason to be so. It felt somewhat below her, to be so blatantly upset by this pseudo-flirtation. Wasn’t she more aware, more mature than that? The answer became very clear when the knight stopped his verbal rambling and attempted, somewhat unsuccessfully, to grab your hand.

“Sir Heinrich.” Jean’s voice had taken on the authority that she rarely liked to use in casual company. “Might I ask you to control yourself in the presence of our guest.”

Heinrich, apparently not so drunk as to be unable to read the now somewhat tense room, immediately and somewhat dramatically, snapped into attention. “G-Grand Master Jean! Yes, of course! I’m so sorry.” Bowing quickly he promptly burst into tears and, proclaiming that he’d betrayed his Grand Master, was dragged outside by some friends, hopefully to sleep off his inebriation.

The tone of the party quickly returned to its jovial origins, anyone still in attendance at 3:00 was either Jean, you, Kaeya, or too drunk to care about what had just happened. Jean, however, was somewhat surprised, and extremely embarrassed, by her sudden outburst. Sinking down on the stool next to you she put her head in her hands.

“I’m going to have to apologize for that tomorrow.” She sighed. Glancing over towards you she reached out her hand, which you quickly took, palm sliding gently into hers. “I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be! I don’t mind a bit of flattery, but that was becoming… a bit much.” You let out a giggle, the glass next to you an indicator that you were probably a bit tipsy yourself. “Besides, you’re very cute when you’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous!” Jean scoffed, blushing slightly. “You and Kaeya I swear, incorrigible.”

“How am I not surprised he picked up on it too,” you laughed, smiling fondly. “I don’t mind it, at least not in cases like this. By all means, be as jealous as you want.”

“I’m not jealous.” Jean insisted, shaking her head violently.

Laughing you leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the head, ignoring the scandalized gasps from the remaining crowd.

“Whatever you say, my dear knight in shining armor.”

Jean let out a nervous giggle. What was she going to do with you, now that she loved you so much.

Keqing

Keqing wanted to make it very clear that she never became jealous. Absolutely not, under no circumstances.

She had more respect for herself after all, more respect for you. It was below your relationship to be worried over something such as jealousy, and Keqing for her part resolved never to lower herself to such a level, even if you were somewhat more dismissive of the idea than she was.

“Jealousy is an emotion,” you explained when she asked you why you were so cavalier in regards to the notion, “and since I know both you and I are hardly likely to spin out of control if it were to happen, I don’t really find the idea repulsive.”

“You’re very strange.” Had been all Keqing could respond, not wanting to argue with you about it. It would never happen anyhow. No point in fighting about it.

Now Keqing was somewhat regretting that statement as she watched the woman next to you chatter away while she stood, still as a rock, trying desperately to bite back the retorts that were running through her mind at everything this random lady was telling you.

“It really is such a pleasure to see you again!” You smiled at the woman, some friend of yours and, from what Keqing gathered, a long forgotten one at that. “It’s really been too long.”

“I agree!” The woman replied eagerly, her smile so syrupy that Keqing was surprised it wasn’t melting in the sun. “We really must go out for coffee and catch up.”

“Absolutely!” You nodded, ignoring the stare that Keqing was now focusing on you. “Maybe sometime in the summer?”

“Sounds like a plan! Now excuse me, I have to go.” The woman smiled. Nodding towards Keqing, evidently she wasn’t completely oblivious, she waved before walking away. Waving back you turned around towards your partner, a smile on your face.

“Thanks for stopping for me, I realize that took a little while.”

“It was nothing.” Keqing’s voice was sharp and flat, and she ignored your puzzled look as she turned back towards the Qixing headquarters, determined to forget this entire conversation, and the dark emotions it had managed to dredge up.

The rest of the day was somewhat quiet, though Keqing could tell you wanted to talk about your old friend. She knew that she was being exceedingly rude by ignoring your cues, but she couldn’t help it. The whole situation made her uncomfortable, and she didn’t know how to process that. If she admitted it you’d just chock it up to jealousy and not only would she feel somewhat invalidated, but she’d have to deal with the knowledge that all her boasting had been for nothing. Or, to be more explicit, that she’d been wrong.

“Want to have dinner together?” Keqing glanced at the clock on her desk. The day had long ended, and now it was just the two of you.

“Gladly.” She smiled at you, getting up from her chair. “I’m sorry for making you wait.”

“No worries!” You waved your hand. “I wanted to spend some time with you anyways.” Unlike you did earlier today? Keqing bit the retort back. It would be cruel to say that, and somewhat revealing. Besides she really did want to walk home with you, and wouldn’t taint the experience with her own emotional turmoil.

The walk was a lovely one, for the day had been somewhat hot and now a cool breeze brought in by the sea blew lazily. You were discussing one of the transactions you’d had to check, when Keqing spied your friend up ahead. Before she could change your course the lady noticed the two of you however. Calling your name she waved her hand wildly. Distracted from your conversation you waved back, running up ahead and leaving Keqing behind in the dust.

“Fancy meeting you here again!” You exclaimed. “I was just walking home from work.”

“I was stopping by one of the stalls.” Your friend gestured towards the temporary structure behind her. “I forgot to buy groceries, so I suppose it’s grilled Tiger Fish tonight.”

“It happens to the best of us.” You laughed. Keqing couldn’t stand the atmosphere anymore. The conversation was insipid, the participant who’d brought it up even more so. Unable to stop her frustration Keqing walked, or rather stomped, over towards you. Huffing slightly she grabbed your hand. Turning around your face betrayed surprise, but it was quickly replaced once more with a smile. “Ah, I almost forgot. Lily, this is Keqing!”

“Oh, a pleasure to meet you!” The woman, Lily apparently, smiled. “Are you coworkers?” Keqing felt a flicker of resentment at not being directly addressed. Surely she didn’t need a translator.

“My partner.” You corrected, smiling and squeezing Keqing’s hand, something which did little to relieve the tension she felt.

“I see.” Your friend smiled her saccharine smile. “Nice to meet you Keqing.”

“Pleasure.” Keqing replied, not bothering to keep the irritation out of her voice, after all wasn’t she known for being blunt? “Now we really ought to get going, if we aren’t going to be eating in the middle of the night.”

“Sorry for dashing on you,” you apologized, something which Keqing deemed completely unnecessary. “See you around.”

“See you around!” Lily replied. As she turned back to the stall Keqing started moving again, half dragging you through the streets and to her apartment.

Finally arriving home Keqing breathed a sigh of relief. This, however, was quite short lived.

“What was that all about?” There was amusement in your voice, and though Keqing was glad you didn’t seem irritated with her, she certainly wasn’t happy about the mischief in your smile.

“It was getting late.” She replied curtly. “I’d rather not be cooking dinner in the dark.”

“Are you sure that’s it?” Your voice was slightly sing-song and Keqing rolled her eyes, knowing immediately where this was going.

“Of course, what other reason could there possibly be?”

“I don’t know, maybe you were a little jealous?” You shrugged your shoulders dramatically. Keqing tensed for a moment, before shaking her head.

“Why in Teyvat would I be jealous? After all, they’re just a friend.” Although she hadn’t meant to emphasize that last bit Keqing couldn’t help but feel somewhat irritated. It was just a friend, she was sure of that, sure of you. And yet it had irritated her. It had irritated her intensely. And what was that but jealousy?

“Of course they are.” You smiled gently. “They’re just a friend and you’re just the person I love. But Keqing?”

“Yes?” Keqing found her voice somewhat unsure.

“I don’t mind if you’re a little jealous. As long as you never doubt my affections for you, then it’s okay to be a little selfish. Okay?”

There was a pause, before Keqing walked over to you, wrapping you into a tight hug and burying her face in your neck. Drawing back slightly she pressed a soft and somewhat impatient kiss to your lips.

“Are you sure?” She asked, pulling away once more.

“Very sure.” You replied, before leaning in to kiss her in turn.

Keqing was glad to be carried away by the content feeling of being in the embrace of one’s love. She found today incredibly embarrassing and just wanted to forget the whole matter. And she knew you’d let that happen, for even if Keqing felt irritated, even if she resented your friend for accosting you and not leaving you alone she still trusted you more than anything.

And that was what counted.

#ganyu's is so long lol #it's a theme #anyways this was really fun #also jean is a new writing fav #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction #ganyu #jean #keqing #ganyu x reader #jean x reader #keqing x reader #requested #scenarios #my writing

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otakusheep15 · 3 years

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SFW Alphabet - Satan

I had a really hard time trying to get Satan’s character right, so I hope I did a good job with this one

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He’s not super affectionate, physical, verbal, or otherwise. Really, that’s just a side-effect of him being born from pure wrath. He simply just can’t express emotions very well. You’ll most likely have to initiate any affection if you want it. However, he does also like when you lay your head on his lap and he reads to you since it doesn’t require much.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He’s the mom friend for sure. He helps you with anything you may need from studying to pranks. Of course, he does also make sure you both make it out of any trouble unscathed. I also lowkey see him as the type to carry around random snacks to feed strays he comes across, and he’ll give some to you so that you can also feed the strays.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Like I said, affection isn’t his strong suit, so cuddling isn’t really his thing. The closest he’ll get to cuddling is either you two sitting next to each other on the bed/couch or with him sitting up and you laying on his lap. He may also pat your head like you’re a cat. There might also be reading involved if he’s awake enough to read out loud to you.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He does like the idea of settling down, but he’s unsure if he really can. Yes, he can do basic household chores like cooking and cleaning, but he feels as though he couldn’t handle the more emotional side of settling down. Doing something like that means you truly love the person you’re with and he’s afraid that he might not have the emotional capacity to feel that strongly about someone. Then you came along and destroyed all of that nonsense. Now he wants nothing more than to drag you away and live out a romance just like in his favorite books.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

There would most likely be a lot of yelling. Also lots of things being thrown around in rage. When he’s mad, he’s mad, and a breakup is a great way to get him mad. If he’s the one initiating it, he’ll try to keep a level head, but that solely depends on how the other person reacts. If they’re also calm, then it’ll be pretty civil and respectful, and they might even stay friends after. However, if the other person starts getting mad, that only makes him worse and it does not get better for that other person.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Before you? He never even considered the idea. After you? That’s practically all he can think about. You know that one friend we all have that constantly gushes over sappy romance stories and constantly wishes how that could live them out with their partner? Yeah, that’s him. He’ll never admit that out loud though. The only one who actually knows about all of his fantasies are Asmo because he once walked in on him comparing you to this one character from a romance novel he liked (kinda like Levi with his anime).

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He knows how dangerous he can be. Not only is he a demon, and a powerful at that, but he also the literal embodiment of wrath. Even after years of keeping up his gentlemanly facade, all it takes is the slightest inconvenience to set him off. So he’s extra careful around you. Physically, he tries not to get to close to you, especially when he’s pissed off. Verbally, he tries to watch his language around you because he doesn’t want to hurt you by saying anything mean.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

His hugs are extremely rare but surprisingly nice. Since he’s scared he might hurt you by accident, and his lack of need for physical affection, he doesn’t hug you very often. However, they are super relaxing when they do happen. He hugs you just tight enough to keep you pressed to his body, but not so tight that it’s uncomfortable.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Out of all the brothers, he one of the last ones to say it. He’s not all the familiar with the concept of love, especially in romantic context. Obviously, he knows how it feels in theory, but he can hardly figure it out in practice. The worst part is that he knows he loves you, but he has no clue how to go about it. When he does finally say it, he seems perfectly calm and collected, but he’s internally screaming the whole time. You’ll never know.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Surprisingly, he’s not one to get jealous easily. One of the benefits of having a poor grasp on emotions maybe? Whatever the case, he always tends to take a more logical approach to things, relationships included. He knows that you’re loyal to him and so he trusts you. If he has any reason to be jealous, then he’ll talk to you and workout any problems or concerns.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses can go one of two ways. They can 1) be the softest, most romantic kisses you’ve ever felt in your life, or 2) the most heated and passionate kisses you’ve ever felt in your life. Literally no in between. The former will usually happen during softer moments of bliss. Maybe you two were just in his room and relaxing or in the library studying. The latter only ever happens during more ~spicy~ times *wink wink*.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He hates kids. That’s it. He hates them. They’re such a hassle, they need constant supervision and care, and they never shut up. He is a firm believer in children being the worst creatures in all the three realms.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He always wakes up first no matter what. He’ll go down to the kitchen and make you a cup of tea, but that’s only when you guys don’t have school. If you do have school, he’ll wake you up as gently as possible and help you get ready.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

He’ll usually drag you to hs room so that you two can spend the evening reading together. Sometimes you end up sitting next to each other and reading your own books, others you may end up in his lap while he reads to you. You mostly end up falling sleep first, and he’ll follow soon after.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

This boy is the definition of closed off. It does not matter how close you are to him or how much he trusts you, he will never tell you anything. Okay, he does tell you some things, but only surface level stuff. If you want the real, honest answers he has, you need to pry them out yourself.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Lmao what’s patience? Seriously though, he actually has a decent amount of patience. He trained himself really hard in order o control his anger, so he can actually be pretty chill for the most part. Obviously, he still gets mad all the time, especially with Lucifer, but he does try his best.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He’s totally the type to write down facts about you in a secret journal somewhere so that he can reference it later. He has a great memory, but he loves just writing down everything you tell him about yourself just in case he forgets anything. He will never tell you or anyone else about the journal, but if anyone finds out, they will never be heard from again.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

He isn’t one to have any particular moment in mind, but he absolutely treasures those quiet moments when you two are alone. No brothers to bother you, plenty of books and snacks, and just each others presence. It’s quiet, calm and peaceful. These moments don’t happen very often due to the chaos around you, so when they do happen it’s special. Just being able to spend time with you is his favorite thing in all three worlds.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He is arguably one of the most protective brothers, and that’s saying something. The second someone even hints at hurting you, they’re dead. They just cease to exist. He will not let a single thing harm his precious human, and he’ll do whatever it takes to ensure your safety. He’d even go so far as to get himself in trouble if it means getting you out of it.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He’s much more casual than most of his brothers, so he doesn’t see the need in planning over-the-top dates. Obviously, he wants you to be happy no matter what, but he knows he doesn’t need extravagant dates to make that happen. I mean, if you like things like that he’ll certainly try for you, but it’s just not his style. He prefers causal, lowkey dates. Coffee shop dates, going to bookstores together, sitting in his or your room and reading all day, and going out to play with the stray cats are all ideal dates for him. He just knows that, as long as you two are together, everything is already perfect.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Obviously, he has some issues he needs to work out. His anger issues are, of course, the main issue, but that also leads into other problems. For example, his daddy issues hatred for Lucifer is something he needs to get sorted out. He also has a hard time expressing his true feelings for fear of letting his anger out as well. Most of his issues are emotional, so he needs a lot of time to work on them.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s not so much concerned with physical appearance so much as social appearance. he is highly concerned about how he looks to the public. If he needs to look physically appealing in order to keep a good social standing, then he’ll do it. He’s not vain like Asmo or Mammon, but he’d be quick to put more into his appearance if it means he gains something out of it socially.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Honestly, he’s felt incomplete since being born, so even with you he doesn’t feel quite complete. You definitely help fill some of that void he has in him, but not even you can fix him completely. If you did leave him, he’d be back at square one, so he needs you to be there in order to make him feel even the slightest bit more whole.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

As I stated before, I think he keeps a journal of all of your interests so that he can remember then, but I think it goes deeper than that. I also think he has one for each of his brothers that he keeps on him. Any time one of his brothers mentions something they like, he’ll write it down to keep it for later. That way, if an occasion (birthday, anniversary, etc.) that would require this information would ever arise, he would already have it written down. No one knows about these, and he’ll take this secret to his grave.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He refuses to even acknowledge someone without even the slightest bit of academic prowess. If he deems you to be stupid, you’ll never even hear from him again. He also cannot stand people who dislike cats.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He has a tendency to move around a lot when he sleeps. No one has any clue as to why, but it’s not really a problem. That is until you two start sleeping together. He either ends up on top of you or kicking you out of the bed. In the morning, he’ll apologize, but it’s not something he can really fix.

#OBEY ME #shall we date obey me #shall we date satan #sfw alphabet #scenarios #headcanon

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