#I MEAN IT'S SO FUCKING UNHEALTHY I KINDA DIG IT

[bougiebutchbinch]

bear with me for 1 sec

Ed giving up on pirating despite having JUST gotten back into it so he could stay close to Izzy (and follow Izzy's last advice for him & his support of Ed's choices to leave piracy behind)... What if this is also why he buried him on land - so he could keep him close by?

That whole burial scene goes from... kinda disrespectful to... well, still disrespectful, but with an added flavour of MY FAVOURITE 'kinda fucked up and grossly codependent possessive toxic boyfriends' shit.

Just. Ed keeping him. Even in death. Like: that man is mine. He's my dog. He's my first mate. He's my victim. He's my bully. He's my oldest, closest friend. He's my family. And he's never going to be separated from me again.

I'm gnawing on the fucking walls

#ed teach #blackbeard #ofmd #izzy hands #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd meta #blackhands #edizzy #please just don't interact if you hate that pairing or hate izzy okay x just leave me alone #edward teach #I MEAN IT'S SO FUCKING UNHEALTHY I KINDA DIG IT #steddyhands #I like my boyfriends messed up and mutually obsessed even past death

[katyawriteswhump]

Livin’ the dream (steddielovemonth day 3)

After High School, Eddie and Steve’s lives don’t exactly go as planned… For @steddielovemonth day 3 prompt: Love is being terrified but not letting that stop you from taking a leap (@unclewaynemunson) Thank you <3

Rating: M. CW: Unhealthy/abusive relationship (NOT steddie!) Tags: No Upside Down AU, angst. WC: 2,225

…

“I’d never have dreamed,” said Eddie one morning, during his daily stop at Dave’s Diner, “that Steve Harrington pouring my coffee would become the highlight of my day.”

Steve smirked. “Wasn’t exactly how I saw my future either, Munson.”

While Steve poured, Eddie left his hand on his coffee cup. He always did—even if the cup got too hot. Even if it scalded him. He’d not miss a chance to have Steve that close. Nor to enjoy staring at those lickable arms, today exposed to the shoulders by a snug-fitting vest top.

“I guess you really dig lousy weak coffee, man,” said Steve.

“Sets me up for a busy day fulfilling my childhood ambition of hauling bricks, darlin’.” He’d gotten away with ‘darlin’’ last week. Steve didn’t chew his head off today, either, so… “Living the dream, huh?”

Steve sighed hard, started wiping the counter near Eddie, over and over, as he always did. “How’s your pay?” asked Steve quietly.

“It’s a day rate. Not stellar, not the pits. Why? You looking for other work?” Panic rocked through Eddie. “You’re not leaving this place?” Though it would be awesome if we worked together. Eddie was already fantasising about those hot summer days on the construction site, when Steve might strip his shirt off.

“Nah, not really,” said Steve, “I’m kinda tied to this job.” He ran his free hand distractedly across his eyes. Tied to this job—what the heck did that mean? Steve often seemed world-weary and withdrawn. Incongruously so, given the confident guy he used to be. But that was adult life, so it seemed. It sucked.

All the same, Eddie experienced an uneasy urge to probe deeper. Steve got in first: “Hey, how’s the band?”

Eddie beamed. Yeah, there was one other thing, other than coffee with Steve, that he lived for: “We got a gig Saturday night.”

“Let me guess—the super bowl came begging?”

“Haha, just you wait, big guy. It’s at that new bar in town. You wanna come?”

Steve paused his scrubbing. Something sparked in the depths of those big, beguiling eyes that made Eddie’s throat tighten, and his pulse beat faster. “I’m working,” said Steve. I’ll try and get away aft—”

“Hey, kid! You gone blind or you really this lazy?” That was Steve’s boss, Dave, who’d gotten the biggest arms Eddie had ever seen. “There’s more than one punter in this place. If you can count that high?”

“Jesus, he can be such an a-hole,” mumbled Steve. He shot off, even as Eddie bleated: 

“See you tomorrow?”

…

Only seven people turn up for Corroded Coffin’s gig. It was a total dud, and Eddie didn’t give a shit. 

Among the seven, was Steve. 

The crappy too-bright venue lighting revealed Steve undressing Eddie with his eyes, as surely as Eddie undressed Steve. Eddie was so blown away, he almost messed up the finger work on his most bodacious solo.

After the final number, Eddie placed down his guitar and made a beeline for Steve: “Hey, you made it.”

“Figured I might as well. Jon Bon Jovi wasn’t returning my calls.” Steve snickered, and Eddie literally drooled. Metal thrummed through his every vein, and his blood rushed madly—most of it heading south. Steve Harrington CAME TO MY GIG AND STAYED FOR THE NON-EXISTENT AFTER-PARTY. Steve’s vest top was sadly missed, but his tight t-shirt still afforded Eddie a glimpse of that tasty chest hair, and the skin-tight jeans were… Gnnng! And as for the touch of eyeliner? 

Slayed Eddie dead.

“You wanna come backstage?” Eddie’s voice came out embarrassingly high-pitched.

“I’d like a drink. Preferably something stronger than coffee, and that I don’t have to pour.”

After his sixth shot, Eddie went in for the kill: “You are literally the hottest fucking thing I have ever goddamn seen.”

“Not exactly slick.” Steve leaned close, and Eddie inhaled his fast, bourbon-spiced breaths. “But I guess it’s a step up on ‘do you come here often.’” 

Eddie silenced him with a blockbuster kiss, which Steve returned instantly. Within moments, Eddie was up off his barstool, hands roving wildly over Steve’s delicious torso. Okay, also wandering around to pry under his tight t-shirt, and to grope that mega-hot denim-clad ass. Steve pawed Eddie with equal enthusiasm, setting his barstool rocking till it toppled back. 

He jumped off, straight into Eddie’s arms. Wow! There was nothing better than kissing somebody roughly your own height. Back at school, he’d figured Steve was a lot taller than him—like most jocks, he’d had that early spurt of growth, Eddie guessed. Then Eddie had more of less caught up, and now..? Yeah, everything had changed, all his preconceptions thrown to the winds. Best of all, Steve had turned out to be a good dude.

Also, the best kisser ever.

They made out like their lives depended on it, tongues sliding together, slickly and keenly. Meanwhile, despite the hotness, all those sweet moments over coffee crammed together in Eddie’s head.

You are the highlight of my life… The light of my goddamn life! How come this took so long?

Then, as abruptly as it started, Steve broke the kiss. He staggered back into his stool, setting it rocking again. “Shit!”

“Oooookay.” Eddie felt like he’d been punched. “Used to that in gig write-ups, but—”

“Oh God, no… It’s not you. It’s so not about you. This was a terrible idea.” He knocked Eddie’s fingers from where they lingered on his hip, and sidestepped, placing the barstool between them.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s about me, Munson, so you can quit the goddamn kicked-puppy-dog eyes.” Erm, back at ya, Harrington. “I’m with another guy, okay?” He laughed, and somehow, it was one of the most miserable sounds Eddie had ever heard. “I didn’t think we’d… Look, I really shouldn’t have come.” 

With that, he bolted.

…

Eddie got to the diner super-early on Monday morning. He’d barely thought of anything other than Steve, who was no longer simply his secret crush. Or even the light of his life. 

Without exactly knowing why, Eddie was pretty much dying with worry for him.

Steve didn’t pour Eddie’s coffee. He dumped the pot on the counter, emoted unwelcomingly with hard-set features, and hurried off to take a table order. Which he then headed out back to prepare.

Eddie waited. He was gonna be late for work, and his boss would give him an earful, and he really couldn’t give a crap.

The diner emptied out, and eventually, Steve emerged from the back, mouthing:

“What the Hell?”

“I needed to see you, Steve.” Steve glared at him, and Eddie did a double take. Steve looked more exhausted than ever, shadows stark as bruises around his eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Saturday was a big mistake. Huge. Had an argument with my boyfriend about it, that’s all. Scram, will you?”

Steve’s boss came out from the back. Steve emoted wildly again, shooed Eddie, and the truth dawned. And was slammed home when Dave slapped Steve’s butt—scowling at Eddie, as he did so—then grabbed Steve’s shoulders, spiralled him about, and shoved him off in the direction of another table awaiting service.

“Either you place another order, or get lost,” said Dave to Eddie.

Eddie ordered pancakes and waited.

“Dave? Seriously?” hissed Eddie, when he finally got Steve’s attention again. He begrudgingly admitted Dave was okay looking. All the same: “He’s a dick! And he’s gotta be old enough to be your dad.”

Steve edged close, talking so fast and hushed Eddie strained to follow. “My parents threw me out. I was on the streets! Dave was… good to me, took me in, and now… I’m kinda stuck. He takes my rent out of my wages, and there’s never anything left, and—”

“You need to get away from him, man.” Eddie felt sick. Somehow, he burbled it out: “Leave the son-of-a-bitch. Right now. You can crash with me.”

“You live in your uncle’s trailer! He’d be beyond thrilled, I’m sure, and Dave would…” Steve’s mouth hung open a moment. He’d what? Come after you? “Look, I’m okay. Dave’s all right, really. Gets grouchy sometimes, that’s all.”

Eddie spouts the next question before he can stop himself. “Do you love him?”

Steve tossed his arms up in despair: “What kinda dumbass question is that?” Yeah, Eddie wants to facepalm. In retrospect, it was truly dumb! “Look, he doesn’t know who I saw on Saturday, but he’s already bitching about you hanging around too much. Just fucking go already!”

Eddie didn’t drive on to the construction site. Instead, as his brain screamed, You’re batshit crazy, he pawned all his meagre possessions, even his beloved Warlock. His plan only faltered when Wayne caught wind of him going to a loan shark. His uncle literally dragged him from their office and insisted on lending Eddie all his scant savings.

Eddie refused. Wayne refused harder. They headed to the second-hand dealership and purchased the cheapest RV in the yard.

Next morning, Eddie trundled his rusty 1960s Volkswagen into the forecourt of Dave’s Diner. He gritted his teeth, squared his shoulders, and moseyed through the door like a gunslinger and about to unleash hell. One that was also trembling like jello, packing zero heat, and practically pissing himself.

“Got my own place now,” he said to Steve.

Steve looked mad, refused him even a coffee cup, though Dave didn’t seem to be around. Yet. “This isn’t happening, Eddie.”

“My place has got wheels, darlin’.” Eddie motioned to the RV outside, dropped his voice to an undertone. “It’s a big country. We can go anywhere. I’ll park up half-a-mile along the road. Wait all day. All night, if you need.”

Steve eked tight words from between gritted teeth: “Look, I don’t wanna sound ungrateful. It’s still a ‘no,’ man. You must have gone cuckoo. I mean, what about your band?”

Yeah, that brought a pang to Eddie’s chest: “Honestly? The rest of the guys are losing interest fast. I can fly solo. As long as you’ll fly with me?”

Dave strode out from the back. The flash of fear in Steve’s eyes cut Eddie to the quick, because it also hollered, You’re making things worse!

Oh God, what’ve I done?

“You’re barred,” yelled Dave at Eddie. “I see your long-haired loony mug one more time, you can kiss my fist.”

“Subtle you ain’t, asshat.”  Eddie retreated, literally a mangy, kicked dog. He drove the RV that half-a-mile along the road and waited. And waited. By midnight, he felt like his heart had been wrung dry, and eventually, he fell asleep.

A loud thudding roused him. He sat up, blinked at his unfamiliar surroundings and then… Shiiiit! He dashed to the door.

Steve perched on the step, his wide eyes glowing with something… unfamiliar. Some sparkle that might just be hope. He’d gotten a very small bundle slung over his shoulder.

“I hope you were serious?” asked Steve.

“Deadly serious, darlin’.”

Steve took Eddie’s face in his hands, and kissed him, briefly, almost chastely. Totally mind blowing. “So good to do that without feeling guilty,” he murmured, smoothing kiss-wetted lips together.

Eddie grinned; he wasn’t even quite sure if this was real: “Let’s get the Hell out of Dodge,” he said.

They hit the road, and they never looked back.

…

Three months later

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” cooed Eddie, as the Hawkins pawn shop owner handed his Warlock back across the counter. “I missed you soooo much.”

“Ugh, seriously?” bitched Steve, as soon as they exited the store. He blocked Eddie’s path along the sidewalk, planted his hands on his hips: “Should I be jealous?”

“Nah. We’re a proper family now.” With his guitar safely stowed in its case, he slung an arm around Steve, and they walked on toward where they’d parked the RV. “Tho’ when we get to Wayne’s, I might have a moment with my long-lost beloved. While you two watch the game.”

“No funny business, Sweetcheeks, or I’m absconding with a second-hand Yamaha keyboard.”

Eddie beamed broadly. It felt so weird, being back in Hawkins, and with hope, at least, for a better future. Not even having to worry about… “You know, I kinda want to thank Chief Hopper in person for arresting your douchebag ex.”

“Yeah, well, he put a guy in the hospital.” Steve shuddered. “They’ve charged him with attempted homicide.”

God, I’m so relieved it wasn’t you, thinks Eddie.

Steve rattled out a joyless laugh that Eddie hadn’t heard for some time, and said, “Jesus, I’m so happy it wasn’t you.”

Suddenly, Eddie’s eyes brimmed with tears. It’s too much. He can’t bear to think of what might have been. “Love you so much,” he blurted, fumbling for the keys for the RV. He couldn’t get up the steps and inside with Steve fast enough

“Love you too,” whispered Steve, once the door was closed, and sounding slightly choked, also. Which isn’t like him.

They clasped each other tighter than ever, and did their darndest to kiss the bad memories away.

#steddie #steddie fic #steddielovemonth #steve x eddie #steddie fanfic #steve harrington x eddie munson #stranger things fanfic #steve harrington #steve harrington whump #eddie x steve #eddie munson #steddie fanfiction

[amaramizuki666]

DC x Dp crossover

Soul speak part.2

John and jason sat in the justice league's main conference room. "What do you think is going to happen?" Hood asked looking at the blond. "No fucking clue I tried to dig up stuff on this guy but I didnt find out much, just that he's been king for the past 10 years" Constantine muttered while lighting a cigarette. "Well you sold your soul to the guy so I get why he wants to talk with you, but what does he want from me?!" Jason sighs.

Jason is agitated, he dosnt understand what this ghost king wants from him. "I dont know red hood mabey it's because you died and came back to life, dont lie I can tell, you have the stench of death on ya" Constantine says blowing smoke from his lips. "You are suposed to be dead, not sure how you came back or how ya died but you arnt supposed to be breathing right now." John continued "and this king phantom is upset that I'm still alive or something?" Jadon asked and Constantine just shrugged mummblinging a mabey.

The door to the room slid open. Constantine and red hood felt a cold chill go up their spines. They turned their heads to see a kid that looked like one of the bats brood walk in, he had coal black hair and ice blue eyes. He was tall about a few inches taller than both john and jason. But he was still young looking, around late teens to early twenties.

They just watched the young man walk in front on them pull a projector from who knows where and plug it in. He turned it on, and on the wall of the room seemed to be a Google slide show presentation labelled, ghost adoption/how to form and keep your baby ghost core healthy.

"Ok so let's get this started shall we" the boy says turning to the other men in the room. "Excuse me who are you" Constantine asks flatly a puff of smoke leaving his lips "john Constantine, I know it's been a month but I know I'm not that forgettable" he replied smiling flashing them with his too sharp teeth, his eyes flashing green.

"What how are you-" jhon was cut off "alive? Well I'm not, not really anyway" the boy says tilting his head lightly unblinking at the men. "Wait your the ghost king. Are you possessing that kid or something" hood glared at the demon/ghost/thing. "No I'm not overshadowing , this is my body, you see I'm only half dead, but that's a story for another time, I'm here for in right now" phantom says still starring unblinkingly.

"Why are you in this form and not your other form?" John asked the king. "because it's less of a mind fuck, now" phantom says and clicks the next button on the presentation "let's talk about how we are going to form your ghost cores shall we".

"What are you talking about?" Hood snaps, annoyed "why am I here? Do you want to finish me off or some shit? Collect my soul?!" Hood interrogates green sleeping into his vision. Phantom looks at him walks over to where hood is seated and places his hand on his shoulder. "You are here because you are a starved baby ghost with anger issues, well halfa that hasnt formed a core yet".

John looked at phantom "and why am I here?" "Because you have a core, but it's very unhealthy, and to talk about how I kinda ghost adopted you" phantom supplied. John and jason where so confused "now back to the slides" phantom says. They then spend 3 hours and a half talking about ghost cores, ghost adoption, and how to keep ghost cores healthy.

On the flip side danny is also considering fighting batman for custody for red hood. He'll have to talk to sam and tucker first though. Sam was pretty upset he adopted john without informing them first. Not that he originally knew he ghost adopted him. I mean what was danny suposed to do with Constantine's soul eat it?

#writing prompt #writing #danny fenton #danny phantom #dc comics #dc x dp #batfam #dc #jason todd #jhon constantine #john constantine #king phantom #jason is about to end up with a new dad #Constantine is so confused

[wildernessuntothemselves]

You Are My Queen Now | Part 7

Word Count: 19.7k (there I'm spoiling you still)

Genre: Smut, angst, fluff

Summary: Growing up as a child of a minor lord, you had it instilled in you since a young age that you needed to find yourself a rich and affluent husband that would not only provide a comfortable life for you, but would also help further your family’s position in the court. So it was of the utmost importance that you remain a virgin in order to land such a coveted husband.

The problem lies when the man you secretly love, Prince Beomgyu, suddenly and unabashedly propositions you.

Warnings: extremely unhealthy relationship dynamics, mentions of past noncon and justifications of it, really fucked up characters, actually kinda sweet smut scene, sub!tyun, edging, blowjob.

A/N: Check out the playlist for the fic as well as the wonderful pinterest boards my lovely ♡ anon made for the fic. They’ll really help put you in the mood. For this particular chapter, the theme songs are Neptune by Sleeping At Last for tyun and Where’s My Love by SYML for gyu

“Stop struggling!” Jaeyun hisses in your ear as if you’re being unreasonable for fighting against him.

Angrily, you bite down on his hand, making him curse and pull his hand away. “What are you doing?” You barely have enough time to shout at him before he’s covering your mouth with his hand again, this time holding your jaw shut so you can’t bite him.

“I’m taking you back to the prince.” He confirms your worst suspicions, making your heart sink. Up until this moment you had held onto the tiny, lingering hope that this must be some type of joke or misunderstanding, refusing to entertain the brutal truth that one of your only friends is betraying you like this. “It’s better if you come quietly with me. I don’t want to hurt you.”

‘More than you already are?’ You want to say but can’t. You don’t stop struggling though, Taehyun’s words ringing in your ears, ‘They will want to bring you back safely to him, and that’s an advantage to you because you can hurt them while they can’t hurt you.’ He’d told you that first time he sparred with you, and you really hope that he’s right about that because, as his words replay in your mind, so does your training, and you fumble around for your dagger as Jaeyun begins dragging you through the hall.

You dig your hand into the pocket of your dress, looking for your hidden dagger. Taehyun had made sure that all your dresses have secret pockets to hide your dagger in for situations just like this. You just hadn’t anticipated that when the time comes for you to use it, it would be on someone you thought you trusted.

Using your thumb, you unsheath the blade before pulling it out. In the struggle and the dim light, Jaeyun doesn’t notice you drawing your arm back before plunging the dagger deep into his right thigh. 

He screams and flails, dropping his arms from around you and attempting to jerk away, but you don’t let him go or you’d lose your one weapon. As he continues to try to back away, the dagger almost slips from your hand but you tighten your hold on it to the point where your nails are digging crescents into your palm before you successfully free it from his flesh and move away from him. You take a few steps then whirl around to face him, pointing the now bloody knife at the hunched over man in warning. 

“Fuck, you stabbed me!” He shrieks in disbelief, holding the bleeding wound in his thigh with both hands.

“You tried to kidnap me!” You shout back, not believing the nerve of him, but somehow what he says next is even more ridiculous.  “It’s better that you come with me. It’s the best for everyone involved.”

“You mean the best for you!” You accuse, refusing to let him manipulate you. 

“Not just me. The prince won’t rest until he has you.” 

Or maybe he can. This is exactly what you’ve been worrying about. It’s what Kai is worried about, and now it seems that Jaeyun thinks the same. 

“He will kill anyone in his way. Taehyun, Kai, everyone. You know that.”

You scowl. You can’t listen to this right now, not from a man who just committed the ultimate betrayal against you and everyone he claims to worry about. “Jaeyun, for Kai’s sake, get the fuck out of the castle and don’t come back.” 

“Listen to me–” 

“Leave before Taehyun gets his hands on you. You know he won’t be as kind as me.” You threaten him, voice laced with venom. 

His jaw clenches. “You’re making a mistake.” He says ominously before limping away and disappearing into the darkness. 

You stand there, with your dagger-wielding arm outstretched into the night until it cramps and shakes. Only then do you lower it and take a shuddering breath in, still shaken from what just happened. You expected something like this, Taehyun had warned you so many times about it, you just didn’t expect it from someone you thought was your friend. God, Kai is going to be so heartbroken. 

Oh, Kai… 

It would probably be best if you tell him first, that way he won’t have to hear it from a raging Taehyun. 

You make your way back to the room with the big door, hoping he’s still up. And he is, still playing his harp, blissfully unaware of what just happened. You almost turn around and leave, but when you imagine the rage on Taehyun’s face and how it might be the first thing Kai would see, you decide to stay. 

You clear your throat and call out weakly, “Kai…”

He turns around, a small smile on his lips and his eyebrow quirked up in question, “Hey, why are you still–” The rest of his question dies on his tongue when he sees how shaken up you are and the bloody dagger in your hand. Immediately, he stands up and rushes towards you, knocking the harp to the ground in his haste. “What happened?” 

“Jaeyun…” You say and he freezes in his tracks. 

“Jaeyun? What–what did he–what did you do to him?”

It stings that the first question he manages to get out is about Jaeyun’s well-being instead of yours. But you don’t dwell on it much. He is his best friend and you’re the one with the bloody knife. 

Gathering up all your strength, you tell him the hard truth. “He tried to kidnap me and take me back to Beomgyu.”

He shakes his head. “No, no, Jaeyun wouldn’t do that. It must be a misunderstanding.” 

“But he did. He told me so himself when he grabbed me and tried to drag me away.” You keep your tone soft, knowing how hard this must be for him. 

“Why is that dagger bloody? Where is he? Did you–did you kill–”

“No.” You assuage his worries. “I didn’t hurt him that badly, and he probably left the castle by now.”

He breathes a sigh of relief and it’s silent for a moment while he absorbs what you said. Then he looks at you and blinks. “Oh, what about you? Are you okay?” 

You let out a breathy laugh. “I thought you’d never ask.” You try to keep your voice schooled but it still comes out sounding reproachful.

“I’m sorry, it’s just this is all so shocking. I mean he’s been my friend for years now, it’s hard to believe that he would do this.” He says and you laugh again, “Not that I don’t believe you, it’s just…”

“Hard to believe. I get it.”

“I’m sorry, I really am.” He sighs, “For my reaction and for what he did.”

“You don’t have to apologize for his actions.” You say, “And I’m fine. Just shaken up.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Come, sit down.” He takes you by your free hand and leads you to a chair. You flop down on it, boneless, and you wonder how you managed to stay up for this long. 

"God, Taehyun is going to freak out when he hears about this." 

Kai’s eyes widen."Oh, please don't tell him."

"What?"

"He'll kill him." Kai kneels at your feet and grabs your free hand in his pleadingly. “I know what he did was wrong, and I will do whatever you want to make it up to you but I just can’t…” His voice hitches as he tears up, “He’s my best friend. I can’t bear to see my brother kill my best friend.” 

“Oh, Kai,” You go to cup his cheeks but realize you still have the bloody dagger in your hand. He flinches and stands up while you pull the sheath from your pocket and slip it on the blade before tucking it away, and start again, “I know how hard this is for you but we can't keep this from Taehyun. Don't you think he'll start asking questions when Jaeyun suddenly disappears?" 

He chews on his lip nervously and paces around, thinking. "Then wait until the morning to give him some time to get away."

You can give him that much. It’s probably not wise but you know you’d want the same courtesy if you were in his situation. 

"Okay. If that’s what you want." You sigh, getting up. “And Kai?” 

He stops pacing and looks at you. 

“I’m still sorry about this. I don’t want Jaeyun to get hurt either. And I don’t want to lose you.” 

He presses his lips together before saying, “I don’t want that either.” 

It sounds reassuring and you almost take it as that, but something about his wording makes you uneasy. 

You don’t realize until later that it’s because he said he doesn’t want to, not that you won’t. 

The latter reassures that you have nothing to worry about while the former says that you do. 

____________________________

Taehyun is as furious as you imagined he would be when he finds out. But sweetly enough, he first makes sure you’re alright before he unleashes his fury. 

“How the fuck could he do this? I trusted him. I gave him a position in my court. I let him get close to my family, and he turns around and does this?” Taehyun seethes with barely contained rage. “Just wait until I get my hands on him. Do you know where he went?” 

You shrug weakly, technically not lying but not being entirely truthful either. You should’ve known that such a weak response wouldn’t fail to arouse Taehyun's suspicions immediately. 

"Wait, how come Kai knew about this before me?” His narrowed eyes pin you down. “When did this happen exactly?"

You exchange a nervous look with Kai. 

"When?" Taehyun repeats coldly. 

"Last night."

“What?” He barks, "Why didn't you come to me right away?"

"I–I…” You sputter, not knowing how to tell him that you did it for Kai’s sake. But you make the mistake of glancing at Kai again and Taehyun’s face hardens in understanding. 

He turns to Kai. “Did you tell her to wait so he can escape?” 

“No, he didn’t–” 

“Just let him go, Taehyun, please. For me.” Kai pleads, cutting you off and confirming Taehyun’s suspicions. 

“For you?” If possible, Taehyun becomes even more angry. “You should be the first one after him! He’s your friend and he attacked her. You should be the one punishing him.” 

“And he will be punished.” Kai insists, “I can’t imagine you would let him live out his life as a lord anymore after this. He’s going to lose everything because of this, isn’t this punishment enough?” 

“No, it’s not. He’s not going to live out his life at all.” Taehyun proclaims eerily. 

“No, please! I never contested your rulings before, Taehyun. But please, don’t do this.” 

“I have to. He’s a traitor.” Taehyun deadpans, “The only way he’ll get out of this alive is if I don’t find him so you better hope I don’t.”

“But he didn’t take her and now he’s on the run. Just leave him. What harm is that going to do to you?”

“I can’t just let him get away with this. He needs to pay for his crime just like anyone else. ”  

“You can. You just don’t care enough. You did it for her so why not for me? I’m your brother!” Kai shouts, and the tinge of resentment in his voice takes you off guard. 

You hadn’t really anticipated him using that and, by the looks of it, neither did Taehyun for he blinks and pauses, not really saying anything for a few seconds before he shoots you a look that makes you hang your head low and wish you weren’t here right now. 

“I didn’t do it for her. That old man killed his daughter’s husband to avenge her death.” 

“So? He’s still a killer and you would’ve executed him if it weren’t for her. Why can’t you pardon Jaeyun for me?” 

“Because he’s a traitor.” 

“But–”

“Enough!” Taehyun’s voice rings around the room, shutting Kai up and overwhelming the beat of your own heart. “I will not hear about this anymore. Once I catch Jaeyun, he will be made to answer for his crime, and that’s the end of that.” 

Nervously, you glance at Kai, but he’s not looking at you. He’s staring at his brother with the same anger Taehyun regards him with, but also with hurt. You understand what he must be feeling. To him, it seems that his brother refuses to extend the same courtesy he showed you towards him and his old friend. Even worse, the entire reason his friend is in danger is because of you. 

You move to go after him when he turns around to leave, but Taehyun’s gentle but commanding voice stops you in your tracks. 

“I’m not done talking to you, my lady.” 

You spin on your heel slowly, “Taehyun–”

“See what happens when I make exceptions?” He chastises you and you feel your belly churn in guilt because you know he’s right. “He’s my brother and he’s acting like this. Imagine if other people got wind of it.” 

“I know and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten involved.” You bite your lip. You really should shut up now but when were you ever able to help yourself? “But still… can’t you pardon him for your brother?” 

Of course, your request isn’t to Taehyun’s liking. “You can’t ask that of me.” 

“But I’m fine.” You try to appeal to him. “He didn’t hurt me.”

“This isn’t about you.” 

“Oh.” Your face falls. 

“I hold my court on a very tight but tenuous leash. As you know, half of the lords here don't like me very much. It would only take the smallest sign of weakness on my part for them to pounce on me like hyenas. That’s why I can’t let an act of treason like this go unpunished. It could very well be the death of me.” 

“I understand.” You mumble, never having thought about it that way. There is so much you don’t know. “And I’m sorry. None of this would’ve happened if I wasn’t here.” 

He frowns and moves towards you. “No. None of this would’ve happened if Jaeyun wasn’t a disloyal bastard. You had nothing to do with it.” 

“But surely I didn’t help either. If I wasn’t here–” 

“Stop it.” He snaps, making you flinch, thinking he’s mad at you. But then he gently cups your face in his hand. “You belong here. I want you here.” 

Your heart beats faster. It’s so rare that Taehyun is affectionate towards you, and you never know how to handle it. You just become a nervous mess in his arms like you are right now. 

“You did a very brave thing.” He leans down closer to your face and your breath hitches. “But don’t think I’m not mad at you too.”

You pout and he laughs, swiping his thumb over your puckered lips. “But I’m also proud of you. You picked things up so fast and were able to protect yourself so well. It’s amazing. Not that I ever doubted you.” 

You smile, fighting back your blush. "Well, I was trained by the best." 

He smiles back–a rare sweet, toothy smile and you can’t help but reach up and close the rest of the distance between the two of you, kissing him. 

He believed in you. He believed in you and he gave you the tools and the training to defend yourself and you did. He believed in you and you proved him right. This has never happened to you before. 

For the first time ever, you finally feel capable and proud of yourself. It’s exhilarating. 

But Taehyun is not Taehyun if he doesn’t ruin the mood. 

“The prince won’t stop with just this failed attempt.” He informs you as he breaks the kiss, making you sigh wistfully. 

“Has anyone told you that you’re not very good at the romantic talk?” You tease, but Taehyun, as always, doesn’t share in the banter.  

“You’ll be vulnerable as long as you remain unwedded.” 

Your smile falls and you take a step back. So that’s what this is about. 

“If we were to marry, it might stop him.” Taehyun elaborates, “He can’t steal another lord’s wife without stirring up a scandal in the kingdom, and the king won’t let something like that happen.” 

“Yeah, that’s a great plan. You’re as practical as always.” You mumble, turning your back to him, but Taehyun goes around you and stands in front of you, putting his hands over your arms loosely. “What’s the matter?” 

The matter is that he still hasn’t given you any indication that he feels anything for you. Sometimes you think he might, like when you kiss. When you kiss, he makes you feel like he wants you, like he doesn’t want to let you go, like he’s always waiting for the next time you’ll lock lips again. 

But then he opens his mouth and asks you to marry him with the most emotionless attitude imaginable and you’re back to feeling like just a business transaction to him. 

“Taehyun, do you actually want to marry me or are you just doing this because of my circumstances?” 

“Of course I want to marry you. You think I would’ve asked if I didn’t want to?” He questions as if he can’t possibly understand where you’re coming from. 

“I don’t know, would you?” You exclaim, “I can never read you and you don’t exactly make your feelings known either.” 

“Then what do you want me to do to prove to you that I want you?”

What you actually want is to hear him say he loves you, but you’ve already asked once and his rejection was humiliating enough. So you go with the next best thing. 

"Will you sing for me?" 

That clearly surprises him and slowly blinks at you, dumbfounded by the odd request. "What?"

"Kai had mentioned that you used to sing but don't anymore.” You explain, and you see a little bit of understanding seeping into his wide-eyed gaze. “Will you sing for me?"

He thinks about it for a bit before giving in. “Okay.” 

You don’t know what you expected him to sound like but it’s not this. His voice can only be described as saccharine. It’s even sweeter and more angelic than Kai’s playing, with an occasional but heart-wrenching raspiness that tugs straight at your heartstrings. He doesn’t look at you as he sings, and even though you can’t normally read him, you know that this is a vulnerable moment for him, but he’s doing it for you, and you’re so mesmerized that you find yourself holding your breath so you won’t disturb him and make him stop. 

Only when the song ends, do you let yourself take in a deep breath. 

“I haven’t sang in a long time so I’m sorry if that sounded bad.” Taehyun says sheepishly, sneaking glances at you. “And sorry if you were expecting a love song. I haven’t exactly been entertaining musicians in the last few years so the only song I could remember off the top of my head is the lullaby my mother used to sing to Kai to sleep. It’s probably–”

You cut off his babbling with a kiss, feeling him sigh against your lips and relax, and that, more than anything, makes up your mind.   

“I’ll do it. I’ll marry you.” You tell him, and the smile he gives you is so adorable that you have to lean in and pull him into another searing kiss. He may not have said that he loves you, but you can live with this for now. 

When you separate, you see that his dazzling grin has settled into a content smile that makes you ache. 

“So you really haven’t had any musicians here in years?” 

“I guess I never saw the need.” He shrugs and you gasp. “The need? Music is the food of the soul.” You proclaim grandly. 

“Oh, so that’s why everyone says I have no soul.” He jokes and you both chuckle. It’s so rare to have lighthearted moments like this with Taehyun. So whenever they occur, you make sure to bask in them fully. 

But sadly, even that all but disappears when you speak. “I’ll go check on Kai.”

Taehyun’s expression flips around in an instant. “You don’t have to baby him. He needs to toughen up.” 

You sigh. Well, it was nice while it lasted. 

“It is still hard for him. Jaeyun is his best friend.” You attempt to reason with him but he remains bull-headed. “His best friend who tried to kidnap you and take you back to your captor.” 

“I know, Taehyun. I was there.” You say wearily, tired of his complete lack of empathy towards anyone, even his own brother. “Not everything is about facts and transgressions. People are allowed to have feelings and be sad about the loss of someone even if they hurt them. And we have to give them the time and space to heal.” 

“I don’t see how that helps. You’ve had all the time in the world to heal from your prince, have you healed?” 

“That’s low, Taehyun.” 

“Maybe but it’s necessary. There is no such thing as healing. You just have to pull yourself together and be strong so it can’t hurt you anymore.” 

You laugh. “You know, I could so easily throw this back at you but I won’t because, unlike you, I care about not hurting the people that I love.” 

It takes you a moment after he freezes to realize what you had just said. 

“You love me?”

You sigh defeatedly. There is no point denying it now. “Yeah, I'm an idiot, right?”

You don’t know what you expect him to say in response to your unintentional confession, but anything would’ve hurt less than his silence. It makes the already vulnerable confession feel even more compromising. 

“Forget it. I don’t know why I even bother.” 

“Wait, I…” He calls out and you pause, that damned hope in the pit of your stomach refusing to die already no matter how much bitterness you’re forced to swallow down every day because of him. “You what?”

But he doesn’t say anything. He just stares at you like a cornered cat. Is declaring your love really that frightening for him? Does he even know how to process human emotions? 

You give him a disappointed look and turn on your heel, marching out the door and he lets you. 

He lets you. 

_______________

You find Kai in the harp room, but he’s not playing anymore. He’s sitting hunched over, his head down and cradled in his hands–-the picture of despair, and you can’t help but hurt for him. You know too well what it feels like to lose your dearest friend. 

“Hey sweetheart.” You call out timidly and he cranes his head to look back at you. You can see the redness of his eyes even from where you stand. He doesn’t return your greeting, just puts his head back in his hands so you walk further into the room but you don’t take a seat next to him. You don’t feel welcome to anymore. 

“I’m so sorry for everything.” You venture but he stays quiet. “I know this is very hard for you. Losing friends, especially in this way can be difficult.” 

That’s when he lifts his head to glare at you. “Don’t talk about it like we just drifted apart or something. Taehyun wants to kill him!” 

“Well, maybe he won’t find him.” You suggest dumbly. You’re not very good at this. You’ve never been put in such a situation before. Has anyone?

“He is injured.” 

“Maybe some other lord will take him in and treat his wound?” You continue to grasp at straws. 

“With a death sentence hanging over his head from Taehyun? No one would take that risk.” He retorts once again, clearly finding your suggestions stupid. 

“I don’t know what to tell you, Kai. I wish I could help.” 

“But you can. You can talk to Taehyun.” He beseeches, finally getting up. “Convince him to pardon him like you did with that old man.” 

“I already tried but he refused.” You shake your head, “He says it would put him in danger if the other lords think they can get away with treason.” 

“Then he can do it secretly like last time.” 

You give him a pitying look. “I don’t think he’ll agree to that. That would be too much of a risk.” 

“Just try!” Kai cries in desperation, “Tell him you won’t marry him if he doesn’t. Do something!”

“Honey, I know this is hard–” You reach out to touch him but he stops you with a cold look. “Don’t.”

Your hand drops to your side. 

“I just…” He swallows, looking away. “Need to be alone right now.” 

“I understand.” You concede sadly, practically seeing your friendship with him shattering right in front of your eyes, and knowing you can do absolutely nothing about it. 

This isn’t fair to you. It’s not like you wanted to hurt Jaeyun. He’s the one who decided to betray you all, and it’s not fair that Kai is blaming you for this. 

The sour taste of anger and resentment bubbles up in your throat but you push it down because even though it’s not fair, you know that things are never fair when it comes to those we love. 

Kai is young. He’s lived his whole life seamlessly with Taehyun and Jaeyun. But here you come out of nowhere, putting his best friend in danger and turning his brother against him. It may not be your fault but, in Kai’s eyes, your presence is what instigated this. 

He just needs some time and space to process things and then he’ll come around. Or at least that’s what you hope. 

_______________________

Unlike Beomgyu’s wedding to Ryujin and how it slowly crept forward like death, inevitable, your wedding to Taehyun came at you with startling speed. 

There weren’t any big preparations to do or any guests from other lands to invite over so there was no need for any delays. Especially that Taehyun wanted the wedding done and over with before any news of it got back to Beomgyu. 

The days went by in a blur, so fast that it didn’t really sink in that you’re marrying Taehyun until the night before the wedding when Kai came to visit you. 

You hadn’t talked to him since his fight with Taehyun. He’d been avoiding you, and so when you see him, you attempt to not let the interaction be stifled with any uncomfortable emotions. 

“Came to wish me good luck?” You joke lightly, but no amount of willpower could keep the smile on your face for long when he looks at you so unhappily.  

“Please don’t go through with this. He’s going to hurt my brother.” 

You let your facial muscles fall into a disillusioned expression like they want to. You’re not going to let him pin everything down on you like Jaeyun did on your own wedding night. “He’s not. Taehyun said this is the way to stop him. If I’m married, he won’t be able to just take me without any repercussions.” 

But Kai isn’t convinced, “And you actually believe that that would stop him?” 

Fuck. You hate how you’re so easy to read. 

 You falter for a second, but pull yourself together by sheer will. “I have to believe it.”

You spent your whole life wishing for this moment–to be married to a rich and powerful lord who would respect you and provide for you, and Taehyun is that. You refuse to be guilted out of this because of something outside of your control. Why do all the other nobles get a shot at happiness but when you try to take yours, you’re being a bad person? You deserve to be happy too, right? 

You’re happy about this marriage, right? 

You shake your head to dispel the doubts that plague you like flies swarming a rotten carcass.  “And if it won’t, you’re just going to have to trust in the capabilities of your brother. He asked me to marry him knowing full well what Beomgyu is capable of. He’s not some weakling that Beomgyu can crush. He can defend himself, and I don’t think he’d appreciate you trying to make his decisions for him.” 

“He may not be happy about my interference, but you know just as well as I do that Taehyun gets tunnel-vision when it comes to things like this and he becomes blind to the bigger picture. He wants to help you but he’s not taking into account how doing that would end up jeopardizing everyone else.” 

“Are you saying that he’s only marrying me out of charity? Because he’s not. He said so himself!” You defend yourself pathetically. 

“He is fond of you, that much is obvious, and I know you also bear some affection for him, and that is why I’m asking you to step aside. If you truly love him, wouldn’t you want him not to get hurt?” He pleads with you. 

“Of course, I don’t want him to get hurt! I thought about it a million times but your brother is strong and he wants to do this.” You shout, getting emotional. “And what about me? Don’t you care about my safety or my happiness? Didn’t you want me and Taehyun to be together? Or was I only good when it benefited you?”

Kai at least has the grace to look ashamed of himself. “I do care about you but he’s my family.”  

"And I'm not." You let out a short laugh. “Got it.” 

This has always been your life. No matter how much some people may claim to accept you, you'll never be their family. Wonyoung did it before and now Kai, and your hatred for your own family reignites once again. If only they had embraced you. If only they had put you first like other families did their own, you wouldn't even be in this position. 

“I just don’t want him to get hurt.”   

“I know.” You acknowledge, but the bitterness still burns your tongue. “Look. Beomgyu is the prince, yes, but he is the second in line. He doesn’t have as much power as you think he does. Especially that his father doesn’t even approve of me being there. He would do anything to keep me here so that limits Beomgyu even more. If he could've done something, he would’ve done it already instead of sending Jaeyun after me. He probably has nothing.” 

“I want to believe you. I so very want for all of this to work out.” Kai effuses, stressed out, “But what if you’re wrong? What if he has merely been threatening us all this time, and when he finds out about you marrying Taehyun, he will unleash his real power?”

You run your hands through your hair nervously. You fear that too. Beomgyu was never a fighter but you know he has great relations in the royal court and out of it. He always had a way with people. You’d seen him charm his way through many situations and recently you’d seen just how manipulative and cunning he could be. He might be capable of much more than you can imagine. 

But you can’t give into your fears. Taehyun is an adept and proven warlord, unlike Beomgyu. You don’t have any real evidence to say that Beomgyu can actually harm Taehyun in any way. You were able to defend yourself against Jaeyun so Taehyun sure as hell can defend himself against any attacker too. For all you know, Beomgyu is just bluffing. 

You shake your head again. “There is nothing he can throw at us that we won’t be able to take.” 

Kai sighs and lets his head hang low for a moment. You can see the tension in his shoulder, and hear how exhausted he is. The worry must be weighing heavily on him, and It makes a pang of guilt shoot through your heart. 

“I really hope you’re right about this.” He says finally, picking his head up and moving towards the door to take his leave. But before he passes through it, he cranes his head back to say one last thing, “For your sake more than anyone.”

Then the door slams shut behind him. 

Your mind races to try to process his parting words. Was that a threat? Is this his way of warning you that if Taehyun gets hurt, you're going to pay for it? 

In all cases, you now know for sure that you’re losing Kai. That’s two down out of the three people who you thought actually cared for you here. Now you only have Taehyun, and his love for you has always been under serious doubt. 

You didn’t have many people back at the castle either but at least Wonyoung never threatened you. At least Beomgyu loved you.  

That night, all you could think about is Beomgyu. 

First, you think about what he might have in store for you. If he really has more up his sleeve than you think, and how it could even be possible for him to take you from Taehyun if you got married.

Then it turns to wondering what he might be doing right now. If he’s thinking about you like you’re thinking about him. How he might take the news of your marriage. You know it would crush him. You still remember how he cried the night you left him. You can’t imagine what he’ll feel when he discovers that you gave yourself in marriage to another man. It would kill him, you’re sure of it, because it’s killing you. 

You miss him so much, and in your moment of weakness, you allow yourself to wish you were back in his arms. He would hold you so tightly and never let go. He would tell you that he loves you over and over until you have no thought left in your brain other than being loved by him. Oh, how you long to be loved again…

You only realize you’re crying when you feel the dampness of your pillow against your cheek. You know it’s ridiculous. He’s married too. You’re not doing anything different, but somehow this just feels so final. If Taehyun is right, then you’ll never again get to have his arms around you, listen to his comforting voice, feel the sense of peace that could only come with knowing that you’re in the presence of your soulmate.

This feels like he’s being ripped away from you all over again, and this time permanently. 

______________________

He doesn’t leave you even in your dreams. 

You’re on that beach again, like you are every night, and he’s sprawled down in the sand in front of you, bleeding and crying out your name. He can’t see you and you can’t reach out to him. He’s wailing about how you’ve hurt him, how you’ve betrayed him, how you’ve never loved him. Every muscle in your body aches to run to him and take him in your arms, assure him that you do love him, that you wouldn’t have done this if you saw any other way, that you long for nothing more than to be with him again, but you can’t move. You just stand there and watch while he screams for you.

When you wake up, your face looks so puffy and haggard that no amount of cosmetics could make it better, not that you had much on hand anyway. You look the worst you’ve ever looked in your life, and you feel it too. You must make quite a spectacle walking down that aisle. Luckily, there aren’t many people here to see the ghastly bride. 

In typical Taehyun fashion, the wedding is modest and small. He doesn’t waste any money on frivolous expenses like decorations or music. Usually that would bother you, you always imagined your wedding to be a spectacular affair much like Beomgyu’s wedding… more specifically, the same as Beomgyu’s wedding because you had always fantasized about being his bride. There would be flowers of every kind from all around the world, but the most prominent ones would be sunflowers, your favorite. The chapel would be draped in the most gorgeous whites. He’d wear a golden suit even more ethereal than the one he wore on his wedding, and you’d wear the prettiest wedding dress ever made. But Beomgyu would still see nothing but you because, to him, you’re more beautiful than any dress ever could be. The celebration would be held in a huge ballroom and the guests would come in wearing their finest jewels and apparel to share in your merriment. You would dance all night and laugh and drink. And when he takes you back to your marriage bed, he would take a moment to just stand there and let it sink in that you’re finally going to belong to each other forever. 

Your actual wedding is nothing like that. 

It’s an intimate affair, just you, Taehyun, the priest and a few lords to bear witness to the marriage. The chapel is small and bare, no sign of the normal revelry of weddings in sight. Your dress is pretty enough, made of lace and studded with crystals, but the beauty of it is dampened by the fact that it belongs to Taehyun’s departed mother. You suppose what Taehyun is wearing is more elaborate than anything you’ve ever seen on him, but the somber dark blue of its color combined with your dress, borrowed from the dead, makes it seem like he's an undertaker escorting an unfortunate young bride to her grave. 

Taehyun made sure to invite only his most trusted advisors, so the news won’t get out to Beomgyu before the wedding, and even then, he only let them know the night before.

This wedding isn’t what you had imagined as a little kid at all, but somehow, that makes it easier to get through. There was no need for maintaining appearances or socializing. It’s a miserable wedding befitting a runaway and her divisive lord. 

And so the wedding goes by in a blur, and without a hitch. Well, almost.

When the part where you actually give your consent to getting married to him comes, you waver. 

Standing there, looking at the emotionless countenance of the man in front of you, your mind once again wanders to how Beomgyu would’ve looked in this moment. You imagine he’d be the happiest you’d ever seen him. He’d tear up a little, and then so will you because you both just can’t believe how lucky you are to be marrying your soulmate. 

But Taehyun is not your soulmate, and his eyes are as cold as ever as he gazes down at you.

“My lady?” The priest calls to you when you remain silent for too long. 

You look at him then look around the room. You feel short of breath as you realize that you’re surrounded by people who don’t care about you, standing in front of a man who doesn’t love you, who may never love you, and you feel a soul-crushing sense of hopelessness because you know you have no other choice but to marry him.

You keep your tears to yourself, and recite your lines as if out of your body. 

Taehyun only pauses to scrutinize you for a second, and you can only imagine what is going on inside his head for his expression remains unreadable to you, before he recites his own vows quickly and efficiently. And just like that, you’re married. 

The celebration after is lackluster and joyless–for you have no family or friends to celebrate with. The only two people you cared to celebrate this day with you are either on the run or think that you’ll be the downfall of Taehyun.  

Only one exception breaks the monotony of your depressing wedding; the unexpected appearance of a band that comes on to play the sappiest love songs you’ve ever heard. They’re truly god-awful and out of place, and by the confused looks of the other lords and how Taehyun seems to avoid your gaze, you know that he got them just for you, and for the first time today, the feeling that you’re making a huge mistake lifts off you just a little bit. 

________________________________

The rest of the muted celebration goes by in a haze, and before you know it, you’re in front of your marriage bed. 

You have your back to Taehyun as you face the bed, silently gathering up the courage to do this. 

You don’t know why you’re so nervous now. You’ve wanted him in an intimate way for a long time and now you can have him. But it just feels so wrong. He’s your husband, but he’s not your soulmate. He’s your husband but he doesn’t love you. 

Taking in one last big gulp of air, you let your robe fall off your body and turn around, letting him see you in all your nakedness. 

You can see that he is hesitant, but he lets his eyes wander over your body, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he gulps. But he doesn’t make a move towards you. He just stands back with his glass of wine still in his hand, forcing you to gather up even more courage than you thought you had in order to speak up and not fall to the floor to pull your robe back around your body. "Aren't you going to take what's yours, my lord?" 

Finally, he puts the glass down and moves towards you. You steel yourself up, anticipating his touch, but get confused when he leans down to get your robe and drape it back over you. 

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to." He tells you, and suddenly, all your feelings of apprehension and self-doubt transform to anger. You can’t believe he is pulling this shit on your wedding night. "Do you not want me? Is that it? Am I not desirable enough for you?"

He has the audacity to look taken aback. "What? No. You’re stunning. You’re so… sexy.” His voice grows hoarse as his eyes flit to your breasts that lay exposed by the loosely draped robe,. “It was hard holding back all this time." 

“Then why did you?” You ask, frustrated.

“I would never defile a woman like that.” 

“I was already defiled.” You snort bitterly. 

“No, you’re not.” He protests firmly, “What he did to you, it was against your will.”

“But this is not.” You groan, “Why didn’t you at least show me that you want me? Why do you always have to make me feel so unwanted?” 

“I–I…” He looks unsure of himself. “I’m just not used to these things. I’ve never been with a woman like that before. I don’t know how to act. I’ve only ever known blood and death.”

His woe is me attitude is really getting on your nerves, and you’re not going to take that excuse any longer, not on your wedding night. 

Grabbing him by his shirt, you push him down on the bed and straddle him.

He looks up at you, wide eyed. “What are you doing?” 

“Shut up.” You kiss him. 

Taehyun’s lips are always chapped from the cold weather and lack of care, so unlike Beomgyu’s soft, smooth lips. It's another side of him that is rough and raw, making up the unpolished amalgamation that is him. But the inside of his mouth is just as searing, drawing you in as he lets you deepen the kiss to your heart’s content. 

At least he kisses you back like he means it, and when you move to push your body closer to his, you feel his hard member brush against your thigh. 

You break the kiss to lean back and look at him, noticing how his pupils have dilated to overtake his gray irises. Deliberately, you rock your hips against his, making his breath hitch and his hands fly to grab at your hips. 

“Do you like that, my lord?” 

“You’re my wife now. Don’t call me that.” He rasps. 

“I am your wife, and I’ll call you whatever I want.” You tangle your fingers through his hair and pull his head slightly back to bear his neck. He keeps his eyes on you as you lean down and run your mouth over the sensitive skin, feeling goosebumps sprout under your lips. 

“Do you want me, my lord?” You ask pointedly, emphasizing your words with another roll of your hips. 

“Yes.” 

“Good.” Your lips latch onto his neck, sucking a bruise into his skin as your fingers start to undo his shirt. When you’re done, you push it off his body, your lips making their way from his neck down his chest, continuing to mark his skin in vengeance for all the times he made you feel unwanted so that when he looks at himself in the mirror, he’ll remember how you made him feel. 

As you make your way down his body, you feel the muscles of his belly tense under you, and when you start unbuttoning his pants, he pulls himself up on his elbows to stop you. 

“Wait—” He says, voice strained as you pull his cock out of his pants, touching him skin to skin for the first time. “You don’t have to do–” 

You cut him off by taking his dick in your mouth. 

“Oh…” He gasps shakily, falling back on the bed, and pride fills your chest. 

You've never done this before with Beomgyu, even though he always begged you to do it. You just thought it was too demeaning. Besides, you couldn’t imagine how you could possibly fit him in your mouth. Taehyun is your husband though–it’s not as demeaning doing this to him, and he is smaller than Beomgyu so you imagine you can take him easier. Besides, you heard that this drives men crazy and you want to make Taehyun lose control for once. 

You suck on his cock like you read about before, keeping your eyes on Taehyun to see how he would react. It seemed like the tighter your mouth was around him, the better he liked it. He also likes it better when you wet his cock with your saliva, making the slide of your mouth over him easier. 

The noises that fill the room make your cheeks flame. You know you said that it was demeaning, but seeing the normally stoic man tense under you and hearing his quiet gasps every time your mouth would get close to the head of his cock made you wetter than you’d care to admit. 

You wonder how Beomgyu would’ve looked if you had agreed to suck him off. He would be loud, that’s for sure, debauched and urging you to go faster and harder. He’d have your hair wrapped around his fist–

No! You need to stop thinking about him. You’re with your husband for fuck’s sake, and you shouldn’t be thinking about Beomgyu in that way especially after he violated you against your will.

Wanting to punish yourself for thinking of him, you force your mouth down on Taehyun’s cock more than you can take, the top of it hitting the back of your throat and making you gag. 

“Oh fuck, stop, stop, I’m going to cum…” Taehyun squirms and you pull back, his cock slipping from your mouth and hitting his belly with an obscene wet sound that makes you grow even wetter.

“Shit, what are you doing to me?” He laments as he tries to catch his breath. 

You don’t let him though, quickly pushing your robe off, revealing yourself to him once again, and there is no denying how aroused he is when you see how his cock twitches at the sight. 

You smile, climbing on top of him and grabbing his cock in one hand while pleasuring yourself with the other in order to make sure you’re wet enough to take him. 

“I’m your husband. Let me do that for you.” Taehyun croons, moving his hand further up your thigh, but you know that if you let him, you might lose control and you don’t want that. You want him to be the one feeling overwhelmed for once. 

“No. You wanted me to show you how I can take charge, right? Well, I am taking charge.” You position his cock at your entrance and slowly sink down on him. 

His gasp when he first feels you around him and the strangled moan he lets out once he’s all inside make the pain of not having prepared yourself fully better. Still, you give the both of you some time. It’s his first time, and while it’s not yours, you only had sex once and it was a long time ago so it still stings a bit. 

“Can you… move?” He grunts after a while, splaying his fingers over your ass as if he’s prepared to move you himself if you don’t. You wonder if he’ll do it. 

“I don’t know if you deserve it after the way you made me feel.” You pretend to think it over, clenching around his length just to tease him. 

“Please.” He chokes out, his hands gripping your ass tightly, and that one word, coming from him, drives you wild. 

“Fine.” You steady your hands on his chest and start riding him. 

He fits you perfectly, his cock filling you up just the right amount. It hits all the right places without stretching you out too much, and it feels great.

But he doesn't overwhelm you like Beomgyu does, doesn't leave no room for other thoughts. No, you have to physically push these thoughts out yourself. He is obviously enjoying it too but he’s not wild about you like Beomgyu is. He’s not reacting to you like he needs you to breathe… and you’re addicted to being needed. It’s sick that even though Beomgyu took you against your will, you still want him because, in the most fucked up way, it showed you how much he needed you. 

But this is good for you–not a smothering love and a burning need so intense it incinerates your skin, but a steady fire that warms you up enough to survive the winter. You just need to get used to the chill against your skin as you work hard on stoking the fire. 

Maybe that’s why you keep prompting him to tell you how he feels, to reassure you that he’s still enjoying it. "You feel good?"

He nods, biting down on his lip.

"It doesn't suit you to be meek, my lord. Speak up."

"Yes." He answers, voice tight. 

That gives you the reassurance and drive to keep going, and you move faster over him. 

He still doesn't vocalize much but judging by how tense he looks and how tightly he grabs onto you, you can tell he likes it.

“How is your first time, my lord? Is my pussy as good as you thought it would be?” You mewl, your hands hanging onto his body as you ride him, feeling the hard planes of his muscles under your fingers. 

“It’s better.” He grunts, his big hands spreading your asscheeks apart. “Can I go faster, beautiful?” 

You want him to, you really do, but he has not lost control yet, hasn't gotten desperate enough for your liking, so you don’t let him.   

“No. I like it this way.” 

“Seems like you just want to see me go crazy.” He calls you out, but you brush it off. “So? You’re my husband, don’t I get to do what I want to you?”

“Yes, my beautiful.” He cajols, reaching out with one hand to cup your breast. When his thumb brushes over your nipple, you falter, breath stuttering and your body arching into his touch. Noticing your reaction, he doubles down, moving both hands to your breasts and playing with your nipples. 

“Fuck…” You whimper, leaking arousal around his cock and making a mess. 

You can’t let him fuck you up like this. You need to regain control. So, leaning over him, you anchor yourself to better ride him, moving your hips up and down faster. 

When Taehyun’s breathing picks up and eyelids fall heavy over his hazy eyes, you know you’ve reclaimed the upper hand. His soft, shuddered breaths are like music to your ear, egging you to fuck him faster so his eyes would gloss over completely. 

And you try your damn hardest, but before you can accomplish that, you start to tire out, your thighs burning from the effort, and you’re forced to slow down. 

Curiously, that pulls a quiet whine from Taehyun. “Why did you slow down?” 

You grab his hands and lower them to your ass again, “Take over for me, won’t you, my dear?” 

“Whatever you want.” He murmurs, his eyes falling to where you’re joined together as he grabs fistfuls of your ass and starts moving you over him. It would probably be easier for him to thrust upwards but Taehyun is so strong that it’s easy for him to lift your body up and bring you down onto his dick in rapid, vigorous strokes. 

The drag of his cock against your walls and the way he doesn’t take his eyes off your pussy that keeps swallowing him are so good that you almost don’t think about Beomgyu anymore as your orgasm approaches. 

But before you can fall over the edge, Taehyun’s strained voice calls to you. "I'm going to cum." 

"No. Hold it.” You whine, clinging onto your building orgasm. “I'm not there yet. Can you do that for me, my lord?" You drawl seductively, and he seems to like that. 

“Yes.” He shudders, his face scrunching up as he doubles down on his efforts, bouncing you on his cock with impressive ease. 

You gaze down at him with hazy eyes, marveling over how his muscles bulge with each movement. “Taehyun, touch me.” You plead, grabbing one of his hands and guiding it between your legs. 

“Fuck, so wet and smooth.” Taehyun groans as his fingers rub the velvety skin of your pussy. His touches are untrained and unfocused, but the rough calluses on his fingers make you shudder every time he invariably brushes against your clit.

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to focus on the building pressure, but you realize your mistake when you see the image of Beomgyu plastered over the back of your eyelids. 

Gasping, you find yourself suddenly hurled over the edge. 

“Oh, oh god.” You mewl, your body shaking and your pussy spasming over Taehyun’s cock as you cum. 

“I can’t–-I can’t—” Taehyun chokes, his hips bucking up and pushing his cock further into your pussy. It feels so good but you can’t let him cum inside you. 

Whimpering, you sit up on jittery legs, making his cock fall out of your pussy. 

“Why–” He growls, but before he can finish his question, you grab his cock and jerk him off, your hand sliding fast over his slick length and easily salvaging his high. 

"Cum for me, my lord." 

Disappointingly, he goes completely still and quiet as he comes. Only once his cum is splattered across his stomach, does his breathing return in shaky pants. 

You have to admit, he looks incredibly sexy though. The usually cold lord lying under you on his back, skin glistening with sweat and cum. It may not be that hunger that you crave but it’s a pretty sight. 

"Was that good?" You ask, still needing the reassurance since he won’t talk otherwise.

"It was incredible.” He confesses, and then adds, “Now I understand why some men go to war over this."

“Well, you might just have to.” You snort but Taehyun doesn’t seem to find it funny anymore. 

“I can take him.” 

You give him a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes, and thankfully, for once, Taehyun understands that you don’t want to talk about it. You feel a flood of shame wash over you as you remember what just happened. You just came to the thought of Beomgyu. You just had your first orgasm with your new husband while thinking of your past lover who forced himself on you. 

You're a terrible, sick human being. 

As if you could feel any worse about yourself, Taehyun asks, "Was that… good for you also?" He cringes at his own wording and doesn't meet your eyes. It's a bit endearing if you're honest. 

"It was." You say, fighting against your inner shame to reach a hand out to touch his shoulder. 

"Was it as… did it feel…" He keeps starting and stopping his sentences and, in that moment, you realize how unsure and out of his depth he is. 

"What is it, Taehyun?" 

He finally looks into your eyes, and you see his gaze flit between them, searching for something. You hope he finds it but it seems like he doesn’t, for he moves you gently to the side and gets up off the bed, mumbling, "Nothing. Forget about it."

This enigmatic interaction makes you wonder if there have been other moments like this before that you just hadn’t noticed–moments when he felt unsure about something but never mentioned it to you. And that just makes you latch onto this more.

"Taehyun, you can talk to me. I know this was your first time and it can be stressful–" 

"It's not that." He cuts you off as he grabs a rag to wipe himself off. "I was just worried because I didn't do much. I'm the man. I should be the one pleasing you." 

You get a feeling that that's not really what's bothering him but you can see from the way his shoulders hunch up stiffly that he has put his guard back up and is not willing to divulge anymore at this moment so you have to regrettably let it go. It's not like you're that forthcoming with him either. 

"The man? That's unlike you to say." 

He snorts, acknowledging it. "I don't usually but it's the duty of a husband to please his wife."

"Well consider me pleased."

You watch as Taehyun grabs both of you your sleeping attire. He puts his on, which consists of only a pair of soft pants, then hands you yours. 

“You don’t wear any clothes to sleep?” You ask as you slip on your silk nightgown. 

“I get very hot in my sleep.” 

“Here?” You ask incredulously and he shrugs. “I guess my body just runs at a higher temperature.” 

“No kidding.” You mutter, not believing that anyone can find the local weather anything but chilling. 

Taehyun gets into bed beside you and draws the cover over his button half. You get under the covers too, and neither of you makes any attempt to move closer to the other. 

"Do you need anything?" He asks, fidgeting with the cover in his lap. 

"Uh, no." You reply just as awkwardly. He looks at you like he wants to say or do something but is very hesitant about it. "Do you need anything?"

His eyes widen as he realizes he's been staring, and he shakes his head. "No." 

“Well, goodnight.” You say, lying down on your side of the bed. 

“Goodnight.” He whispers, and you think you hear him sigh before he grabs the candle on the nightstand, blowing the flame out and plunging you into darkness. 

_____________________________________

You can’t sleep. You’re not alone in bed so you can’t toss and turn restlessly like you usually do so all that nervous energy remains trapped up inside you and makes you even tenser, like a coiled spring. You're also very cold but you can’t bundle all the covers around you because you'd be taking them from Taehyun.

So you can’t do anything but lie very still and watch him sleep as you curl into a ball on the other side of the bed. 

You try to focus on his breathing, slow and deep, in and out, in and out… but it only helps to slow your heart rate down a little and nothing more. And it spikes back up again when he suddenly opens his eyes.  

“You’re watching me sleep.” He states. “I can’t sleep while someone is watching me.” 

“Sorry, I just can’t sleep.” You mumble sheepishly at having been caught. 

It's quiet for a while as he stares back at you and your eyebrows furrow. Did he fall asleep with his eyes open? 

But then he speaks up, startling you once again. “Can I help?” 

You think about it for a moment, hesitating. You’re cold and this castle still freaks you out. You'd feel better if you were in a warm and safe embrace, but you don’t know if you can ask that of him. Which is hilarious because he's your husband. You had sex with him, but you can’t ask him to cuddle you? 

Fuck it. The both of you won't get any sleep if you stay like this. 

“Can you hold me? I’m cold.” You venture to ask, but immediately regret it when he stiffens. 

“Oh.” 

“You don’t have to–” 

“No, no, come here.” He rushes to say, grabbing you by the arm and pulling you towards him, unintentionally using a little too much power and jerking on your shoulder roughly. 

“Ow!”’ You yelp and he quickly apologizes. “Sorry, sorry.” 

But then it gets quiet again.  

“...now what?” He wonders, lost, and it would be cute if it wasn't so uncomfortable. 

“You put your arms around me.” 

“Okay.” He wraps his arms around you awkwardly. He obviously hasn’t done this before with the way you’re positioned, face to face with his arms loosely draped around you as if he’s afraid to touch you. You want to say something but the charged air is just too stifling to cut through. So you close your eyes and just try to go to sleep. Or at least pretend to sleep until he does. 

But then he speaks up. “Is this helping?” 

Well, he is hot like he said so you're not cold anymore, but if anything you're even more stressed now. You feel like you can't move a muscle or even breathe in too deeply so as not to disturb him. So you just lie perfectly still, but he doesn’t. For some reason, his leg keeps shaking. 

But him speaking up gives you the courage to speak too. 

“Not really. You keep shaking your leg." 

“Oh sorry.” He apologizes in a way that makes you think he didn’t even realize he was doing it. “It’s a nervous habit.” 

“It’s okay.” You sigh and pull away. “I’ll just get a drink.” 

"Oh, okay."

You get up and go pour yourself some wine. “Want some?” You ask Taehyun who is now sitting up in bed, but not looking at you.

“No, thank you.” 

“You’re still shaking your leg.” You remark, before taking a big gulp from your cup. 

“Oh, fuck.” He slaps his hand down on his leg as if to physically hold it in place then laughs. “If my father was here, he would whip me for this. He always hated when I did that, said it made me look like a nervous rat.” 

“That’s awful.” 

It really is. The more you hear about his father–which isn’t much since Taehyun is not the type of man to divulge his pain to anyone–the more you grow to hate him for what he did to Taehyun and his little brother. 

“Yeah well, he was an awful man.” He shrugs. “I thought I kicked the habit years ago. Don’t know why it’s back.” 

“I know.” You snort. “You’re uncomfortable around me.” 

“I’m not… uncomfortable around you. I'm just uncomfortable about this whole situation in general.” 

“Well, you certainly know how to make a lady feel better.” 

He winces, and you can see him collect himself before he forces himself to look at you. "This is all just so new to me but I'm trying. I swear I am.” 

You take another mouthful of your drink and look away. "And what if that's not enough for me?"

"Don't say that."

You shrug and down the rest of your cup. “Maybe I should go sleep in my old room.” 

“No.” He says with an unexpected finality. “You’re my wife. We should sleep in the same bed. I’m just… not good at this. So… help me?” He asks you with a vulnerability you're not used to from him, and even though you want nothing more right now than to escape the suffocating awkwardness of the situation, you don’t have the heart to refuse him.

You put down your empty glass and join him on the bed. “Lay down.” You tell him and he obeys, looking up at you with a lost expression on his face that is painfully reminiscent of a child who is not used to any kind of affection. 

Your heart lurches in your chest as you grab his arm that is closest to you and pull it away from his body so you can curl yourself around his side, resting your head onto his shoulder and draping your arm over his torso. 

“Try to relax.” You whisper, to yourself as much as to him, and you feel him nod. But after a while, he still hasn’t relaxed much. 

Should things be this difficult? It was never difficult with Beomgyu. In fact, it was the holding back that was hard. But maybe that’s a good thing. Things came so easy to Beomgyu that he felt entitled to more than you were willing to give and he justified it by saying how much you wanted him too. It may be awkward and unfamiliar with Taehyun but at least he never took more than you gave him. It may not be easy but you have to try your best to make it work. He's your husband now. 

So when Taehyun’s leg starts shaking again, you think of what Beomgyu might’ve done to calm you down in this situation and that's when an idea pops into your head. 

Craning your head up, you cup his cheek and pull his lips to yours. 

Every time you kiss him, he seems to reciprocate it faster, like he was waiting for you to make the move. Being more receptive to physical touch than emotional or verbal ones, this seems to succeed in calming him down, and he stops shaking his leg. 

When you pull away, he looks down at you, murmuring a soft sorry that you answer with a small smile. 

You’ll make this work no matter how hard it is. You have to. 

__________________________

Things are better for the next couple of months after the wedding. Taehyun slowly--painfully slowly, seems to become less tense around you, and more flustered. You don’t have to ask him to hold you to sleep at night. He doesn't refuse you when you touch him. He's still stand-offish when you're not behind closed doors but you catch him stealing glances at you during the day, quickly looking away when your eyes meet his. 

It was kind of cute. But you can’t fully enjoy it as much as you’d like to because there is one thing occupying your mind and not allowing you to let your guard down.  

You know that the news of your marriage must've reached Beomgyu by now, and yet he hasn't said a word to you since, no letter, no nothing. Why is he so quiet? Shouldn't he have said something by now? Condemned you? Cursed you? Threatened you? Anything would’ve freaked you out less than his unnerving silence. 

Could he possibly be preparing something huge? Or was your betrayal so harrowing that he actually gave up on you? Could he have hurt himself because of you? 

Oh god, please don't let it be that. You wouldn't be able to forgive yourself if you found out that you’re the reason he hurt himself in any way.  

“Wondering why he’s so silent too?” Kai’s voice drifts to you on the wind as you stand on the now familiar ledge, trying to clear your thoughts. 

“Yes.” You admit, “Maybe he gave up on me like Taehyun said.” 

“Why do you sound so sad saying it?” 

“Kai–” 

“I really hope he did. Taehyun seems happy with you. You know, he sometimes looks off into the distance and smiles randomly when he thinks no one is paying him any attention. It's weird." Kai looks at you with a hint of the previous friendly mischievous you used to share and you can’t help but smile in response. 

“You’re really making him change. It’s amazing to see. You’re the perfect woman for him.” He ends on a seemingly unfinished note, and you can’t help but prod, even though you know you won’t like it. “But?” 

“But I wish you didn’t come with a crazy prince in tow.” 

There it is. You sigh heavily, staring at the waves in the distance, wishing you could feel them against your skin once again like you did that last time you and Beomgyu were together. You could really use a soul cleansing right now, but you wonder if it would be the same without him, if the waves would wash over you and purify you like they did last time or if they would crash onto you and submerge you, pulling you down until you can’t breathe anymore. 

“I don’t believe your prince has given up. This is just the silence before the storm." Kai informs you, leaning on his elbows over the low stone wall that stands between you and sure death down below, and looks off into the distance. "And I can already see it brewing.”

A sense of dread fills you up as you follow his gaze, already feeling the salt water burning at your throat. 

_________________________________________

And what a storm it is.

“He is going to kill you.” You hear Kai’s raised voice even before you open the door. 

“I can handle myself.” Taehyun replies, tone as reserved as ever but you can tell that there is an edge to it. 

“You should’ve thought hard before you married–” 

Something really bad must’ve happened. You just know it. You can feel your heart beat erratically as you swing the door open and step in. “What is going on?”

It’s Kai that hits you with the news, devoid of any of the courteous preparation anyone else might’ve attempted before delivering such life-altering information.

“The king is dead. So is the crown prince. They were murdered in their sleep.”

Oh god no. Bile and words race each other to claw their way up your throat. 

“And B-Beomgyu?” 

“Injured but alive.” 

You've never felt so relieved before in your life, and it's obvious on you, as Kai doesn’t fail to remark. 

"Look at her. She's happy he's okay. She doesn't even know what this means." He sneers, gesturing to Taehyun wildly, and the latter regards you with narrowed eyes. 

"Don't you understand what's happening?" Taehyun asks you but you stare at him cluelessly, your brain still flooded with relief at knowing that Beomgyu is okay. 

"Your prince has to have been the one who killed them." Taehyun explains slowly, irately. "The news of our marriage must've reached him, and he's making his move."

Realization falls on you like an anchor, pinning you to your spot with the sheer weight of it, and ripping through the tenous foundations of the life you’ve built here. Now that his father and older brother are dead, you realize that there is nothing standing between you and him anymore. 

Except one person.

Your eyes snap towards Taehyun in horror, and he understands your concern immediately. 

“Don’t worry. As I was just telling Kai, he’s not going to hurt me.” He reassures you then turns towards Kai to continue, “He can’t hurt me even if he tried. He’s just a royal prick that is mad that someone dared to take his toy away from him.”

His wording offends you. Beomgyu doesn’t think of you as a toy. He loves you, which is more than you can say for Taehyun. 

You know this isn’t what you should be concerning yourself with at this moment, but to hear Taehyun degrade your relationship with Beomgyu in this way felt incredibly hurtful. Beomgyu is the only person who ever loved you, and Taehyun's implication that you were just a play thing for him shatters you, because if he didn't love you and Taehyun doesn’t love you then who does? 

Your self-involved inner tirade is interrupted as the two brothers continue their fight. 

“Even if that’s true, how can you be so sure that he can’t hurt you? He’s a prince! No, he's now the fucking king.” Kai shouts. 

“And I’m a goddamn warlord. I know how to defend my land and my people.” Taehyun yells back. 

“You know, you have a lot of shit to say about my shortcomings but this…” Kai gestures around vaguely, “This ego and stubbornness and misguided need to save everyone might just be the death of you.” 

Kai’s words shock Taehyun into silence. You can tell by his reaction that Kai has never spoken to him that way before. 

You feel horrible for having come between the two brothers like that. It’s all your fault they’re fighting. And Kai doesn’t shy away from blaming you. 

“And you,” Kai turns on you. “I thought you said he had nothing. That didn’t seem like he has nothing."

“Maybe it wasn’t him.” You sputter dumbly. It's a weak attempt at deflection and you both know it. “You said he was injured too. Maybe there was actually some kind of conspiracy and he managed to escape it.”

“Are you stupid? So these unknown conspirators just so happen to kill the only two people standing between him and the throne while only managing to injure him non-fatally? It's so obvious that he’s behind this." Kai screams at you, "If you don’t go back to him–”

Taehyun jolts out of his shocked state with fury. He walks up to Kai and grabs him by the collar, snarling in his face, “You’re my brother and I love you but if you ever even suggest that she give herself back to him, I'm going to make you regret it.”

Kai regards his brother with a look of shock and disbelief. "After all we've been through, you’re going to beat me up over a stranger?" 

"She’s not a stranger. She’s my wife now, which makes her my family as much as you are." 

That makes you melt. Taehyun is such a reserved man, so hearing him say this, especially to his brother, means more to you than you can begin to express. He thinks of you as his family. No matter how crazy he is for thinking he can take on Beomgyu, it's still so touching to know that he's willing to go to war to protect you. His family. You finally have a family.

Kai’s wide eyes flit between you and Taehyun, and you fumble nervously under his gaze that turns condemning before he pushes Taehyun off him and walks away. 

“Taehyun….” You approach him, unsure of what to say. You want to tell him how much this means to you, but you can’t find the words and you worry that even if you do, he's going to reply with something that would ruin the moment like he's wont to do.

Wait, why do you have to say anything? You can just show him. You fling your arms around him and pull him into a deep kiss, pouring your gratitude into it. 

"Thank you for letting me into your family."

"You don't have to thank me for that. It's your right."

You give him a grateful smile. He must not realize how huge this is for you but it is. 

But then guilt plagues at you and you start gnawing on your lower lip nervously. 

Taehyun frowns at that and lifts his hand up to prop your chin up, using his thumb to pull your poor bruised lip out from between your teeth. "What is it?"

"Okay don't be mad," You start, looking up at him anxiously. "But I feel a bit bad for Kai–"

Taehyun groans and pulls away from you, so you rush to explain before he shuts you out completely. 

"He's just worried about you. All he needs is reassurance. Just promise him you'll be okay and he might come around."

“I don’t make empty promises.” He rebuffs you, and you stop cold. “What do you mean? I thought you said you can handle yourself.” 

“I can but there is no guarantee that your prince won’t manage to kill me somehow.” Taehyun explains nonchalantly, as if he was talking about the weather and not his potential death.  

“Why didn’t you say so before?” 

“I thought you already knew that.” 

“You’re unbelievable.” You scoff, and he gives you a mystified look. "Why are you so upset?"

"Why am I upset?” You blurt out incredulously, “Maybe because you just told me that Beomgyu actually has a chance of killing you and I'm fucking worried about you, you emotionless idiot." 

But Taehyun’s expression remains perplexed. “Worrying is useless. It won’t help anyone, least of all me.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” You exclaim, frustrated and hurt by his apathy. “That’s not what you’re supposed to say when someone says they’re worried about you. A normal person with actual feelings would, I don’t know, find it sweet that I’m worried about him and then he would try to reassure me that everything will be fine, instead of making me feel like a hysterical woman for caring about my husband’s safety.” 

“I have feelings.” He rebukes with all the emotional capacity of the cliff getting smashed by the sea. 

You laugh humorlessly. “Great. Why don’t you use them sometimes?” 

You expect him to say something else that’s either indifferent or hurtful, but instead he grabs you and pulls you towards him, kissing you with a surprising passion that you quickly match because you know that this is his way of expressing the feelings that he can’t articulate. 

When he pulls back, he pauses for a second, hesitating, before speaking. "I'll be fine." 

You give him a pointed look. 

"I promise I will do everything in my power to survive for you." He corrects himself, cupping your face and making you look at him when you try to look away. "Okay?"

"Fine." You reluctantly give in. 

"And I find it sweet that you’re worried about me." 

You roll your eyes and smack his chest lightly. "Now you’re just stealing lines straight from me." 

He laughs lightly and pulls you into another kiss.

“Careful or I’ll think that you like kissing me.” 

“Oh no.” He murmurs, catching your lips once again, his smile clear against your lips. 

"Okay. I'll accept your promise.” 

“Good.” He tries to kiss you once more but you stop him. “But I'm not going to just sit around and do nothing while you fight for me."

He frowns. "If you mean that you want to fight alongside me on the battlefield then I'm sorry but I have limits too." 

You roll your eyes. It's just like Taehyun to only think of literal physical fighting. 

"There are other ways to fight than physical warfare, and I suspect that Beomgyu wouldn't go for that anyway. You’re a military man, and even if the king is gone, he still can’t forcefully steal another man’s wife without causing a major scandal that could threaten his new position. What he'll do is try to turn your lords against you so they take you out themselves without him getting his hands dirty, just like he did with his father."

Understanding dawns on him and he doesn’t look happy about it. 

“So what exactly are you suggesting?” He asks suspiciously. 

“You need to make sure your lords see that standing by your side would benefit them more than betraying you. Only half of the lords here are loyal to you. The others hate your guts for exiling their fathers and their friends. We need to offer them things that they want so that they disregard that and remain on your side.” 

“Forget it.” He shakes his head. “I’m not going to waste my people’s money lining up the pockets of murder accomplices and sympathizers.”

You know he hates them for they or their families knew about the true fate of his mother, and he has every right to. But if he wants to stand up to Beomgyu, he has to force himself to put that behind him to protect himself and the people he cares for.

“Your people won’t have you for long if you don’t listen to me, and then they’ll fall right into the hands of those lords you despise so much. Do you think they will be left anything then?” 

He scowls, clearly perturbed by this discussion, but you need to make him see it from your point of view because otherwise he won’t stand a chance against Beomgyu. 

“If you want to beat him, you have to play his game. There is no other way. You know that.” 

“Even if I did that, how the hell am I going to match what he could offer? I don’t have that kind of wealth.” 

“You don’t need to. I’ve seen the royals do this a million times back when I lived at the palace. No ruler gives their subjects immense wealth to keep them in line, that’s stupid. If he does that then they’ll eventually become too rich and powerful for him to control. No, he only gives them enough to make them want to keep him around so he keeps providing them with things.” You explain, “I’m not asking you to coddle them. In fact, it would be good for the plan if they still fear you. If we combine the fact that they’re scared of you with some of the political tricks I’ve learned back at the palace, we can make it so they’d see that it’s not worth it to turn on you. You only need to give them enough to keep them satisfied so as not to think about risking dying at your sword for more.” 

Despite your explanation, he still looks unhappy about it, so you go up to him and wrap your arms around his midsection, looking up at him with your best pleading face. 

“Please, Taehyun. You promised me you’d do everything in your power to survive.”

“This isn’t what I promised.” He protested, but you could see that you’re getting to him. 

“Please. I know you don’t like them but it’s for the greater good.” 

“Don’t like them? I’d sooner drive a sword through their hearts than give those bastards anything.” 

“I know, but you’re a good ruler, and you’ll do right by your people. I know you will.” You whisper gently then lean up to kiss him. 

But he doesn’t respond, he just stands there, eyes open and staring into the distance until you give up and pull away. 

__________________________

Taehyun comes around and does what you’re asking of him in the end, but at what cost? 

Those couple of months that you had following your marriage when Taehyun was all shy gazes and steady kisses are but a distant memory now, and you start to wonder if you didn’t just dream them up. 

He gives his lords more money, more perks, more allowances at your behest. It’s plain as day how much he hates it, but you keep reminding him that this is better for his people, that in such circumstances, keeping the city united and his lords loyal will benefit everyone in the long run. That if his lords betray him, it would not only doom him, but that the little people will be the ones to suffer the most, and that if he falls, Kai might be next. 

That especially seems to convince him. Despite his quarrel with Kai and him choosing to stand by you, he would still do anything he could to protect his little brother. He still doesn’t like it–it’s a daily fight and subsequent compromise over what he will or will not allow to pass–but at least he’s trying. 

But the fights have taken a major toll on your already strained relationship. More than anything, you think he hates that he now has to imitate the very same man he so despises–Beomgyu. 

It couldn’t be helped though. Beomgyu is the most loved man in the kingdom, both by the common people as well as his fellow nobility. Who better to learn from than the man who has most of the country wrapped around his little finger? And who better to teach him than the woman who spent her life attached to him at the hip? 

You worry about Beomgyu a lot, which makes you feel positively wretched because you realize that he’s most probably behind this. But with his uncharacteristic silence, you grow even more concerned and doubt starts to infiltrate your brain. Maybe he really didn’t do it. Maybe he’s just back at the palace, injured on top of being heartbroken, and wondering how his life got to this point and why he’s all alone? 

No, you have to stop thinking this way. As Taehyun would say, worrying accomplishes nothing. It’s not like you can do anything to figure out how he is or what really happened. 

Theoretically, you can send him a message and ask him about it but you know that would upset Taehyun and make Kai distrust you more, not to mention that it’s unlikely Beomgyu would even tell you the truth. But at least you’d know if he’s okay… 

God, you just hope he’s okay. You cling onto that hope to get you through the mess you’re going through right now with Taehyun. 

Mercifully, you can already see some positive change, the lords of the city becoming more cooperative with Taehyun, some even to the point where they’re pulling their own strings to, unbeknownst to them, better prepare the city in case Beomgyu attacks.

That’s another thing you’re doing. You don’t think Beomgyu will actually attack but you have to prepare for the worst case scenario anyway, and Taehyun is on top of that. 

He ups the number of guards in the castle and around it, trains you even harder, sends scouts to monitor the fringes of the city, starts preparing the army for any possible attack, stocks rations for any possible food shortage… he does everything little thing he can think of to protect the city, and you do the same, racking your brain every day to try to remember or think up any other way you can smoothen the relations between him and the other lords. You even have him reaching out to neighboring cities to gain further allies.  

He does it all, and in turn, he seems to loathe you a little bit more each day.   

It reaches a point where he is avoiding your touch once again. He doesn’t even hold you to sleep anymore. The distance between you grows more and more the more he gives in. Until the only time he is speaking to you is when you’re discussing your plans to fortify the city. 

Yeah, Taehyun doesn’t appreciate what you’re doing, but there is someone else who surprisingly does. 

“I gotta say, I’m impressed.” Kai says as he once again intrudes on your now sacred place–the cliff you seem to be frequenting more and more as your husband grows more distant. “Who would’ve thought there would come a day when Taehyun makes nice with the other lords. You’ve really changed him.” 

"He's not doing it for me.” You object, hating how Kai brings everything back to you. Couldn’t his brother be doing this because he saw the error of his ways? “He just wants to protect his people. He wants to protect you."

"From the threat you created." 

"Don't start now. It’s too late. We're already married.” You sigh, tired of this, then add on gloomily, more to yourself than to him, “Though it doesn’t feel like it anymore.” 

“Yeah, he’s certainly not happy about it.” Kai snorts and you scowl at him. 

“Are you here to gloat?” 

He blinks at you, taken aback. “No. I’m actually here to commend you. This is some amazing work you're doing. I've always wanted him to be smarter around the other lords and to make more political allies, and now he’s finally doing it for you." Kai repeats once again, and before you can protest, he continues, "I just wanted to tell you that, before everything goes to shit.”

“Maybe it won’t.” You utter softly, wishing it into the world. “Maybe we’ll actually prevent the apocalypse.” 

Kai laughs wistfully. “Taehyun was right. You really are too sheltered.” 

Your face hardens at that. It’s one thing for Taehyun to call you sheltered, but for even Kai to throw that at you? That’s just insulting.

You want to throw it back at him but then he says something that guts you. “That won’t happen because that would be fair and life isn’t fair. If it was, you wouldn’t have been dealt such a terrible hand.” 

"If you don’t think it's fair then why are you against me? If I’m doing what you want then why don’t you help me?” You shout, exposing your vulnerability to him but you just don’t understand how he could see your situation for how oppressive it is and yet choose to be another boot pressing down on your back instead of offering a hand to lift you up. Taehyun may be cold and prideful but at least he refuses to participate in injustice when he sees it. Jaeyun may be a traitor but at least he doesn’t understand what’s wrong with what he's doing. But for Kai to both see and understand completely and yet still choose to align himself with Beomgyu? That’s what is truly crushing.  “We’re stronger together. I need you next to me, Kai." 

But he shatters your glass hope with a simple shake of his head. "Maybe Taehyun has changed you too, but someone has to think of the bigger picture. When your prince attacks, and he will, none of this is going to matter. We can't stand up to the crown and you know it. He knows it too, but he’s just not the type of man to abandon the sailor who fell overboard to save the rest of the ship from the storm. It doesn't help that he's in love too."

The cogs of the world screech to a halt around you, leaving a ringing in your ear as you stand there in the stillness trying to fathom what he just said. Taehyun loves you? That can’t be. If he loves you, wouldn’t he show it? Why the hell would he be avoiding you so much if he loves you? Wouldn’t he want to spend time with you, to be close to you, to make any excuse to be around you? 

No, he can’t love you. Beomgyu loves you. You can’t remember a day when you didn’t see his face growing up because he always wanted to be by your side. He’s bending the world around you so you can be together. He’s getting rid of any obstacle that stands between you and him.

Taehyun doesn’t even seem to want to be in the same room as you, and when he is, he barely looks at you. How can what both men feel for you be the same emotion when the way they’re acting towards you couldn’t be more different?  

“Taehyun isn’t that type of man but I am, and sometimes you have to do the painful thing to protect the ones you love.” Kai disrupts the stillness of the world with his declaration, eyes full of meaning that you now understand perfectly. 

With that he leaves you to think on what he said. 

______________________________

You don’t reach any new conclusion following your conversation with Kai. You understand his threat perfectly. He doesn’t want to hurt you but he will if your presence is threatening his brother’s life. 

What you can’t make sense of is his claim that Taehyun loves you. How can that be? 

Yes, he’s doing what you asked of him, but he’s more distant than ever. Even the rare little sweet moments you used to share are all but gone. He’s always tense and aloof with you. No smiles, no jokes, no kisses. Your relationship is the worst it’s ever been. 

And then something happens to make it even worse. 

You were in your room getting ready for the day alone–Taehyun having gotten up at the crack of dawn like he always does, when a servant comes to tell you that your husband has sent for you urgently. 

“But I haven’t even had breakfast yet.” You state, trepidation gnawing at you at the strange request. 

“There is a guest here to see you.” She says, wide eyed, and your anxiety flares dramatically. 

Is it Beomgyu? Is he here for you? 

With a racing heart and shallow respirations, you all but run to him, swinging the door open to face your mysterious and unexpected guest. 

Somehow you’re even more shocked, and disquietly disappointed, to see princess Wonyoung standing there in all her lovely glory. 

She seems shocked to see you too, but for a different reason. She gasps like she just saw a starving child and runs to you, touching you daintily as her eyes sweep over your entire form. 

“Oh, sweetheart, look at you.” She says pityingly, covering her mouth in horror with her perfectly manicured hand. 

You know you don’t look your best right now. You haven’t had any access to much of the privileges you used to have back at the palace. There aren’t any people here hired specifically to take care of your hair or nails or skin. You have to do all that yourself or with the help of untrained servants who just put your hair up in a messy, awkward updo, slap on some rouge and lipstick that don’t compliment your skin tone, and dress you in ill-fitted, shabby dresses. 

You already know you look bad but next to her, you look downright dreadful. She’s as gorgeous as ever, with make up that makes her look as fresh as a summer fruit, jewelry that excludes riches and sophistication, shiny locks pulled up in an intricate hairstyle, and a dress that compliments her figure and could only belong to royalty. She looks like a goddess and you look like a temple worker. 

You’ve never felt more insecure in your entire life, and you just stand there, awkwardly trying to fix up your hair or smoothen your dress in a futile attempt to not feel as bad as you look, but that only serves to make her notice how self-conscious you are right now and she looks at you with a pitying smile that makes you feel worse than if she were to insult you. 

“How are you, princess?” You greet her, attempting to deflect from your humbling situation. 

“I’m good. How are you?” She asks earnestly, “We missed you so much.” 

Her choice of words doesn’t escape your notice. We. “I missed you too.” 

Her smile widens at that and she looks like she wants to take you into a hug but she’s unsure if she’s allowed to, so you just do it yourself. 

“Oh, sweetling.” She coos, hugging you so tightly.

She even smells good, and you hate how that makes you want to run back to your room and bathe in your shitty perfume until your scent begins to resemble that of a lady once more. 

“Are you here to say something, princess?” Taehyun cuts into your little moment. You don’t know if you’re just imagining it, but he seems ticked off and nervous. You think you can see it in the way he seems to be trying to stop his leg from bouncing up and down anxiously. Wonyoung being here must’ve really thrown him off. 

“Oh, yes.” Wonyoung acknowledges, patting you one last time on the back before she steps back. “May we have some privacy?” She asks Taehyun and he irritably waves off his guards out of the room, leaving only you, him, Wongyoung and Kai. 

“Can’t it just be the three of us?” Wonyoung regards Kai with a sideways glance. “What I’m about to say is highly confidential and must not leave this room.” 

Before Taehyun even has the chance to respond, Kai interjects angrily. “No, you’re here to say something about your deranged brother, and as Taehyun’s brother, I have the right to hear this too.”

“He’s right. Kai deserves to be here as much as anyone else.” Taehyun decrees, and Wonyoung looks at you for confirmation. 

Truth is, with how Kai has been threatening you, you’re not sure if you want him to be here for whatever Wonyoung has to say, but you also don’t want to ask Taehyun to remove him because then he’ll know that there is something going on between you and Kai. And even though you’re hurt by what Kai has been saying to you, you understand where he’s coming from and you don’t want to sour his relationship with his brother. You also still have hope that you can salvage your own relationship with him if you just prove to him that his brother is not going to be in danger because of you.  

So, with some reluctance, you nod to Wongyoung, giving her the go-ahead to proceed. 

“My brother has sent me to bring you back home.” 

Her statement garners a variety of reactions. 

Kai snorts derisively. “Yeah, as if we didn’t know that.” 

Taehyun takes on a more offended approach, snapping, “She is home.” 

But you just stand silent. She said home.  You never knew that she considers the palace your home. You always thought that, to her and to everyone other than Beomgyu, you were just the lowest-born lady in her entourage. So to hear the princess herself call her family’s home your own makes the little girl in you who always felt like an outcast feel giddy and vindicated. 

“Why would she go with you?”

“Because she wants to.” She sneers at Taehyun then turns to you. “You want to come home, right?” 

Every time she says that word, it tugs on your heart strings, pulling you towards her and towards home. But you can’t, this is your home now.  

“Princess, you must know I’m married by now.” You whisper as if you’re telling her a shameful secret. You know you shouldn’t be ashamed of what you’ve done but it somehow still feels like you’ve betrayed her somehow. The princess of the land is here to take you home and you’re telling her that you’ve found a new home. 

“Yes, I know.” You can hear the hurt and disappointment in her voice and it just makes you want to shrink in on yourself. “But we still want you back.” 

God, she’s tearing you apart. This is everything you’ve wanted, but it’s just a beat too late. 

You shake your head to staunch your helpless tears. “That’s not possible. I can’t just leave my husband and go live with you. What kind of woman does that? It would be a huge scandal.” 

“Not if he keeps his mouth shut and doesn’t make a fuss about it.” She jerks her head towards Taehyun and when you follow her direction your stomach plummets to your feet at the frightful look he’s regarding you with. “People know you’ve lived your whole life in the palace. They won’t think it strange if you went back to live with your family following your strained marriage to a notoriously cruel lord.”  

So many emotions run through you at once. She called herself family. She not only thinks of the palace as your home but she thinks of you as family… you’re so moved, you could cry. 

But you can’t let on how touched you are by her statement when it makes your normally cold husband boil with rage. 

“She’s not in a strained marriage, and you’re not her family. I am. What kind of family prostitutes one of them to another? What kind of family isolates and keeps down one of their members so they could never escape? You were never her family. Your real family is that monster and you’re here acting on his orders to try to con her into coming back to the gilded prison you’ve made for her.” 

Taehyun’s enraged speech shocks you out of your enchanted state, reminding you of the reasons why you left in the first place. Even if you believe her when she says they consider you as their family, neither she nor Beomgyu ever treated you as such in front of other people. Only Taehyun did. 

Still not everything he’s saying is true. Your marriage is most definitely strained. You don’t know if he’s denying it because he doesn’t want to show any weakness in your relationship in front of her or because he just doesn’t see it. 

“We didn’t prostitute her. We gave her family money to support themselves. We took her in and treated her like our own. What have you done? Ripped her from her comfortable life and took her away to this miserable place where she has no one to advocate for her, just so you can mold her to your liking, making her jump through hoops for you, forcing her to get her hands dirty and bloody just so she can earn your favor. My brother may have crossed the line sometimes but at least he took care of her.” She doubles down, pointing the finger back at him, before once again turns to you. “Beomgyu still loves you, sweetling, and he’ll forgive everything if you just come back home.” 

Forgive? She thinks he’s the one with something to forgive?

Both she and Taehyun are twisting the truth to fit their narrative. They’re cherry picking certain points to make themselves look better and the other look worse, and they’re using you to do it. 

“And if she doesn’t?” Kai steps in impatiently. “He loves her. He’ll forgive her, and so on. That’s great, but what if she doesn’t come back? What is he going to do then?” 

Kai’s question, more than anything Taehyun said, changes the demeanor of the princess. She pulls herself back and takes on a more careful countenance. It unnerves you. 

“I don’t want to resort to that.” She says carefully, “If you just come back, there would be no need for any of it.” 

Any of it? So there is an it. This isn’t Beomgyu’s plan. This is just the peace offer that if not accepted will trigger the actual plan. 

You gulp, trying to clear your throat but your mouth is too dry and your voice comes out sounding hoarse anyway. “What is he going to do, princess?” 

She gives you a pleading look, still hoping that you’d just give in, but you stand your ground. You need to see the full picture so you know exactly what you’re dealing with. 

Seeing your determination, Wonyoung sighs and says, “He’s going to attack the city.” 

“Of course he is.” Shouts Kai, giving you and Taehyun a pointed look. “What did I say?” 

“Kai, shut up, will you?” Taehyun growls at him, and then turns on the princess. “Attack us on what ground? He thinks he can just launch a civil war without the kingdom turning on him?” 

“They won’t. They’ll stand by him because he’s avenging his father’s and brother’s deaths.” She states, sending ripples of shock and confusion through the room. 

“What?” You croak, “Taehyun didn’t kill them.” 

“Yes, he did. We have the men who committed the crime in our prison right now and they’ve confessed to everything. He kidnapped you too.” She irforms you as if what she’s saying isn’t the most insane thing you’ve ever heard. 

“What? I came here on my own accord.” 

“Did you?” She arches her eyebrows at you and you sputter dumbly, brain refusing to process her implication. But Kai won’t let you get away with it. 

“Your family are fucking setting my brother up.” He screeches at you, face red with outrage. “They’re framing him for the killings and accusing him of having brought you here by force.” 

“But why?” You shake, feeling faint and nauseous. “How does that make sense? Why would he even do that?” 

"To take the throne.” Wonyoung says simply, and starts unraveling Beomgyu’s crazy plan. “Lord Taehyun kidnapped you and forced you to give him information about the palace. He learned about the secret passages that run through it, and he mapped them out for his men. He planned to kill all the males of our family and then pretend to step in order to protect us as the second most powerful remaining lord in the country. But in reality, he was going to marry himself to Beomgyu’s widow and his brother to me so he would secure his hold on the crown. But his plan failed when one of his men knocked down Beomgyu’s bedside lantern while they were sneaking up on him, waking him up and alerting him to the attackers. My brother sustained some injuries as he fought them back but the commotion alerted the guards and they saved him. With his plan foiled, Lord Taehyun decided to quickly marry you in a rushed ceremony, to attempt to deny the accusations if they surfaced by claiming that he didn’t kidnap you at all and that you went to him willingly to get married and there was never any conspiracy behind it." 

The room falls into a terrible silence once Wonyoung is done. 

Now that the whole plan is laid out, it sounds equal parts crazy, incomprehensible, and yet somehow believable–a combination that’s so dizzying it makes you sick. You can’t even begin to deconstruct it, there are just so many absurd details about it and yet it all fits together. You don’t know what you thought Beomgyu would do–you considered that he might simply attack Taehyun, that he might send assasins to murder him, you worried that he might even hurt himself… but this? This is unhinged. It’s so insane, it might actually work, and you can’t believe that he’d go this far.  

“He can’t do this–he can’t–” You stammer, not believing what is happening right now, and so you try to grasp at anything. "Why would those men even lie for him?" 

"They’re already criminals convicted of murder and he promised to provide for their families after their death." Wonyoung explains.

A sudden cackle pierces the air and you start, looking at its source to find a jeering Taehyun. “That’s ridiculous. As if that flowery fucker could fight off any assassin I would send. Who would even believe this shit?” 

“Want us to give it a try and see?” Wonyoung spits, and it’s still so weird for you to see the normally gracious princess exhibit such animosity. “My brother is adored throughout the kingdom while your own people hate you. You want to go head to head with him and see who people will believe?” 

That strikes a nerve with Taehyun and he glowers at her with hatred in his eyes, clear as day. “If you’re so sure that this will work, why don’t you do it already? Why are you here threatening us?” 

“Because believe it or not, my brother doesn’t actually want to hurt anyone. If he can do this without any bloodshed then he will.” 

“You mean other than your father and your brother?” Snarks Kai and she shoots him a look that clearly says ‘who are you to even talk to me?’ which makes Kai fume, then she continues.  

“And he’s worried that if war breaks out, at best you might get injured and at worst your dear husband might use you as a bargaining chip to hold Beomgyu back.” 

Taehyun gets to his feet, livid. “You must mistake me for your brother, princess. I would never lay a hand on my family.”

“Didn’t you kill your father?” She asks haughtily and you can see the rage coiling in Taehyun’s body. You can practically see him fighting in order to hold himself back so you step in before things get crazy. 

“I think that’s enough.” You stand between them, holding your arms out to signal to them to calm down. “Why don’t you go and rest for a bit, princess, while we think over what you said.” 

Taehyun gapes at you. “I will not have this vile woman stay in my castle for a second longer.” 

“Taehyun, she’s had a long journey. She needs to rest.” You reproach, trying to maintain the peace so as not to antagonize Wonyoung and have her tell Beomgyu to go on with his plan. Then you add more softly, “And we need to think about what she said.” 

“Think about what?” Taehyun accuses, “I will not be threatened by that lunatic. Or are you actually considering going back?” 

“She should.” Kai interrupts, “Like you said, he’s a lunatic. He’s not just threatening us. He will actually do it if we don’t comply. For fuck’s sake, he killed his own father and brother.” 

“Kai, I told you if you suggest that she leaves one more time–” 

“Taehyun, please!” You cry out. “Let’s not fight. This is not going to help us.”

Taehyun clamps his mouth shut but his eyes still reveal his displeasure. You don’t let it get to you though, turning to the princess and taking her by the hand, showing her out of the room before Taehyun can glare at her to death. 

When you’re alone with her, you grab her and whisper, “Wonyoung, please, you have to stop him.” You plead, your whole world hanging on her right now. Never even in your most abominable nightmares could you have imagined Beomgyu going this far.

“I can’t.” She says helplessly, “He has it all planned out. He’s not going to back down now after taking out father and brother. He will not rest until he has you back.”

“How can you stand with him when you know he killed them? Aren’t you scared of him?”

She shakes her head. “I trust him. He loves me very much and I know he won’t hurt me. Just like he won’t hurt you. Beomgyu is not crazy. He is only doing what he knows is best for us.”

“What are you talking about?” You exclaim, “He killed them to get to me. He’s threatening to kill Taehyun. He could kill you too!” 

She shakes her head once again. “He won’t.” 

“How can you be so sure?” 

She smiles at you strangely. “Beomgyu saved me, sweetling. Did you know that father and Yeonjun were planning to ship me off to be wedded to King Youngchul?”

You gasp, horrified. “But he’s a monster!” 

King Youngchul is the corrupt ruler of a neighboring country. He is known for his cruelty to his subjects. He lives in excess and gluttony, mooching off the goldmines prevalent in his kingdom, all while letting his people starve, and anyone who dares to say a word against him gets their head chopped off. He snuffs out any rising rebellion by slaughtering everyone even remotely connected to it so no one would dare to think about usurping him. 

He is also known for his disgusting appetite for girls, especially young ones. You’ve heard rumors that men hide their wives from him because if he is to set his eyes on a woman he desires, he has to have her even if she belongs to someone else. 

You know that he’s had his eyes set on Wonyoung for a long time–as many men have, she is a renowned beauty across the kingdoms and highly sought after–but you never imagined that the late king would ever surrender his own daughter to such a despicable man. 

“How could your father do that to you?” You denounce, appalled and she scoffs. “He promised that he’d protect me from him, but I think all he really cared about were all the goldmines he’d have access to once he sold me off to him.” 

“Oh my god.” You stagger, feeling dizzy but she grabs you and steadies you. “But you see? This is what I’m talking about. Beomgyu isn’t the monster your lord is painting him to be. He saved me and now I’m free to do whatever I want. It’s completely different back at the palace now with Beomgyu as king. It’s safe for you to come back.” 

The fates really are cruel. It wasn’t enough for them to deprive you of the love of your life and send you on the run, but now they’re dangling him in front of you when they know you can’t reach out and take him? 

“I can’t, princess. Things may have changed for you but not for me. Beomgyu is still married to someone else. I am as well. It’s too late to go back.” 

“Do you love lord Taehyun?” She asks and once again you feel like you’re betraying her when you say that you do. 

“And does he love you?” She prompts and the tears immediately spring to your eyes. 

You can’t deal with this right now. You’re barely holding on as it is. You can’t let yourself be sucked into her beguiling promises when you don’t even know if they’re too or not. You ran away once. You can’t run away again. 

So you just deflect. “I need to get back to them.”

___________________________________

When you step back into the room where Taehyun and Kai are, you can feel the tension is even higher than it was before and you know the two brothers have been fighting, especially because of the first words spoken to you by Kai. 

“I thought you said he had nothing.” 

You stare at the ground guiltily and mumble, “I never thought he’d do this.” 

“But I thought you knew him so well.” Kai laughs hysterically. 

“Kai, enough!” Taehyun roars, but Kai doesn’t stop with his lashings. “No. She needs to see what she brought to us; death. He won’t stop until he has her and we’re all standing in his way.” 

From your talk with Wonyoung, that seems to be the case. She says that Beomgyu doesn’t want to hurt anyone but she’s clear that he will if you don’t come back. 

"Kai is right. Maybe I should go back to him.” You say, voice small and defeated but both men hear it clearly. “This won’t stop until I do.” 

“No.” Taehyun’s voice booms out, “He could be lying. For all we know he could get you back and still attack me. You'd just be making it easier for him by getting out of the way. He might even use your return as proof that you were kidnapped and have you corroborate the killers' stories.” 

“He is not lying.” Insists Kai, and Taehyun shoots him a deadly glare before continuing. "You’re my wife now. I will protect you with my life." 

"And everyone else's life?” You venture, “Are you willing to risk them all?"

“He could be lying.” Taehyun repeats. 

“And if he’s not?” 

“Then yes, I will risk it.” 

You and Kai exchange a loaded look, his previous words to you hanging in the air. 

‘He’s just not the type of man to abandon the sailor who fell overboard to save the rest of the ship from the storm.’

Taehyun will stick to his principles even if everyone else dies for it. 

“I can’t let you do that.” You fret but Taehyun persists. "We might not have to. We've been gaining allies. If you stand with me and deny his claims, he might be forced to say that he's been fooled by those men’s false testimony." 

"Even if that works, he’ll just hatch up another plan."

"Then we’ll hatch up our own."

“So you just want us to forever be on the defensive, never getting a moment of peace because we’re always waiting for his next demented plan?” Kai shouts, outraged. “How many of us do you plan to sacrifice for this? Jaeyun already has a death sentence hanging over his head, who else–” 

“Jaeyun is a traitor!” Retaliates Taehyun, “He brought this on himself.”

“He wouldn’t have to–” 

“Shut up, shut up!” You scream, finally losing it. “I can’t fucking think when you’re screaming at each other like that.” 

“There is nothing to think about.” Taehyun’s voice gets dangerously low, but you don’t back down. “Yes, there is, Taehyun. You being stubborn about this isn’t going to change the fact that it’s up to me to decide.” 

“So you’re actually thinking about going back to him?” He accuses again. 

“I don’t know, okay? I need to think and you getting angry and defensive about it is not helping. I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me but I also don’t know if I should believe what he’s saying. Maybe Kai is right and if I go back this will all stop, and maybe you’re right and I’d just be playing into his hand, only for him to attack you anyway. God, I don’t know. This is all too much, it’s making my head explode.” You take a deep breath at the end of your shuddering rant, trying to ground yourself but it doesn’t help at all. 

“I need some time alone to think.” You look at Taehyun sadly, finally being able to read his emotions only to see him regard you with anger and mistrust. Whatever Beomgyu’s real intentions are, he successfully managed to create discord between the three of you and that just brings him one step closer to achieving his plan. 

“Then go.” Taehyun scoffs, turning his back on you. 

_______________________________

A/N: I don’t think the cut-off is bad right? it’s still a big chapter. any i can’t wait to hear what you guys think. which of the boys do you think will prevail 🤔

#txt smut #sub!idol #dom!reader

[suzukiblu]

Omegaverse anon

That's such a kind offer, thank you so much

I'm into DC stuff right now, Clark pining for Kon to be his pup Gave Me Life, I love found family dynamics and H/C so much a lot of your work is right up my alley already 😀

Let me seeeee, then, I don't have any fully-finished DC omegaverse of my own, I'm pretty sure, BUT here's some goodies I think you might dig! Your mileage may vary, obviously, so mind the tags, but I think all of these fics are interesting and I enjoyed them myself.

. . . also gonna be honest, there's a lot more nursing fic in here than I expected, haha.

You and me and them. Let's be pack. Let's show the world we chose each other, by Ace_of_Hearts4444. This is, like, the literal first fic I thought of for DC omegaverse recs, especially for your listed likes. Pack dynamics-heavy AU WIP where being stray is dangerous and unhealthy, especially for presented people, and Kon just so happens to present while stray. So Young Justice immediately makes a pack for him, naturally, with a side of alpha!Tim/omega!Kon. And uh, then Clark gets in trouble for obliviously letting his clonebrother/clonekid/clone?? run around stray, haha. Also just about literally everyone in here is my fave dynamic for them, haha, I think this author is in my HEAD.

This Isn't How Things Are Supposed to Go, But We've Always Been Unorthodox, by RenkonNairu. This is an AU Tim/Kon WIP with alpha!Tim accidentally marking omega!Conner Luthor and the subsequent fallout, and also omega!Clark's PTSD from Lex being a bastard and angst about the pup he couldn't stand to keep while alpha!Bruce very patiently attempts to court him. Warning for past rape/noncon with Lex/Clark.

Soft as a petal, sharp as a knife, by BearlyWriting. This is kinda angsty but def has found family and hurt/comfort elements to it; pre-death Jason presents as an omega and makes some understandable misassumptions about the situation, and Dick helps him through it. Warning for past rape/noncon prior to Jason coming to the manor and Jason being afraid of it having happened again.

punishment verse, by dexdefyingstunts. This one is honestly, like, very porny but also is pack dynamics/found family and hurt/comfort. Long story short, alpha!Jason gets gangbanged back into the Batpack by Bruce and his brothers and it's, like, surprisingly sweet but also kinda dubcon. Warning for dubious consent, past underage, and implied incest, but it's mostly incest between adopted family members and isn't intended to be either any kind of romantic relationships or abusive, it's a hierarchy thing in the AU. Just mind the tags, basically.

Sweet Like Honey, by Nightwang. This is literally just "no one gave Kon decent sex ed and surprise, he's an omega!!" Tim/Kon porn. Basically, Tim helps Kon through his presentation heat and they're both cute about it.

Baby mine, by PrincessKinny. Dick has been hiding his secondary gender but that stops working when Damian happens and his inner omega decides that is His Pup and he needs to goddamn PROVIDE for him.

Omega Milk, by Ellegrine. Series about omega!Jason slowly starting to let various pack members nurse from him and strengthening familial bonds in the process; goes from Damian to Tim to Dick to Bruce. Definitely covers hurt/comfort and absolutely thriiiiives on miscommunication and Bruce being unnecessarily stoic and fucking himself up emotionally in the process.

Baby Birds, by iselsis. One of Dick's pups tries to steal Batman's tires and Dick lets the alpha take them, assuming he's going to be the trade-off for Jason and Tim getting a safe home living with Bruce Wayne. Warning for Dick spending basically the whole fic assuming he's about to be sexually assaulted, though said assumptions are unfounded and it's actually just all sweet and domestic and a little bit heartbreaking.

a kind of faith prevails, by julodinae_sunsets. WIP where newly-rezzed Jason presents as an omega and Talia decides that means he should be pupsitting for her. Canon proceeds very differently from there, and Damian will NOT tolerate anyone trying to take him away from his new umm'i.

Wet Nurse, by Cheesy_Potatoes. Bruce is an omega and everyone keeps bringing him their traumatized pups to nurse. WIP.

Omegaverse Jewels, by Zinc10. Jason presents belatedly as an omega and takes the inconvenience about as well as can be expected. Tim/Jason and a lot of Batpack fussing as everyone takes their turn trying to get Jason home.

I Have Worn a Coat of Scars, by Ellegrine. Omega!Jason has self-esteem issues and alpha!Dick fucks them better; that's it, that's the fic.

the pillow fortress of solitude, by feelingwhimsy. YJ cartoon fic, season one era. Everybody finds out Superboy is half-human by finding out he's an omega, and Robin and Wally bro-cuddle him through it. Ending this rec list on a cute note, haha.

#rinrecs #anonymous #omegaverse #not sfw #rape mention

[threadsun]

Under the Rug (18+)

The much requested sequel to Appearances to Keep!

Fandom: Obey Me! Shall We Date?

Pairing: Belphegor x gn!Reader

Content: noncon, degradation, gaslighting, victim blaming, very violent language, sexualising a terrible unhealthy relationship, blackmail, bruises, blood, dacryphilia, sadism, forced orgasms, forced masturbation, facial, death threats, necrophilia threats, snuff kink, black eye, just generally deeply fucked up dark shit because Belphie has problems. This is another dead dove kinda fic there is no RACK in this place it’s just fucked up.

Synopsis: Belphie's finally shown you his true colours. In public he’s so sweet and attentive and kind, but behind closed doors you’re a cross between his punching bag and his favourite fleshlight. Your life is in his hands, and you know that one wrong move could mean death. But how long can you keep this a secret? How long can you keep sweeping this under the rug?

“It’s not nothing. You’re injured. Just tell us who did it and we can let it go.” Lucifer’s voice is even and calm, but you can sense the anger bubbling just under the surface. There’s no doubt in your mind that ‘letting it go’ will involve a nontrivial amount of violence against the one who had left bruising and swelling around your eye.

“I told you, it’s fine.” You don’t look up from your plate, pushing your breakfast around with your fork. “It was an accident.”

“It’s that guy you’ve been seeing, isn’t it? The one you’re always out with?” Mammon’s far less put together than Lucifer, knuckles white as he stabs at his food angrily.

“I’m not—”

“Come on, we’re not stupid.” Asmo chews on the corner of his nail, face scrunched in a rare display of annoyance. “We know you’ve been seeing someone. And they’re not treating you right. You’re always all... banged up! And you reek of sex. Not the good kind, either.”

“Look, I’m fine.” You bite the inside of your cheek, refusing to look at any of them. “I’m fine, it was just an accident. And I’m not seeing anyone. It was just... an accident.”

“What was?” Belphegor wanders into the dining room, glancing around the table at all the serious faces.

“Look!” Asmo points towards your face. “Can you believe anyone could do such a thing? And to such a gorgeous human?”

Belphie’s eyes turn to you, inspecting your face as though it’s the first time he’s seen your injury. As though it wasn’t his fist that made your eye swell nearly shut. You refuse to look up, but soon enough his soft hands are tugging your face towards him. His expression is gentle, caring. He looks so worried as his thumb traces over the mark softly.

“Who did this?” His voice is quiet, angry and heartbroken. His eyes well up with tears.

“They won’t say.” Beel frowns. “We’ve asked. But we think it’s their new boyfriend maybe?”

“Boyfriend?” Belphie tilts his head, confusion written all over his face. His thumb digs into your bruise and you wince, but all eyes are on the baby of the family and how sweet and upset he is.

“They’ve been seeing someone.” Satan purses his lips with a frown. “They won’t say who, but he’s clearly not been treating them well.”

“Alright.” Lucifer’s voice takes on a tone that says the discussion is over. “Leave this to me. Who’s on washing up duty? I think we’re all done with breakfast.”

“Come on, I’ll find something to put on that.” Belphie frowns softly, hand gripping yours tight as he pulls you to stand. “We’ll be in the attic. You guys find whoever did this to them, okay?”

He’s nothing short of caring and attentive as he leads you out of the room. As his brothers file out after you both, his arm slips around your waist to hold you gently. His nails dig into your side, not enough to be obvious to the others but enough to be a clear threat through your shirt. He holds you to his side tightly, crushingly. A painful reminder of the first time he’d ever taken you into his arms...

“Take care of them.” Mammon’s voice is oddly solemn, patting Belphie’s shoulder.

Belphie nods, accepting the encouragement and reassurance each brother bestows on him as they head off. It makes your stomach turn, watching them comfort him. Him, of all people. You were the one sporting the swollen eye and numerous other injuries both physical and emotional. Injuries he had caused. And here he was, getting all that comfort. Lying so easily, looking for all the world as though he were distraught by the idea of someone hurting you.

The act doesn’t drop until the moment the attic door closes behind you. His shoulders drop and he sighs, flicking the lock and shoving you towards the bed. You stumble, just about catching yourself as you sit awkwardly on the edge of the bed. He stalks towards you, face curled into a sneer.

“An accident? That’s the best you could come up with?” He scoffs as you flinch, trying to shrink away from him. “I don’t know what I expected from a human.”

“I didn’t tell them, I didn’t! I won’t!” You find the words coming out of your mouth before you can even think about them, hands shaking.

“Oh, I know you won’t.” He grabs your chin, almost tenderly. “Because the moment they find out, I end your miserable little life.”

His hand trails up to press against your bruised eye. A flash of pain, and you find yourself tearing up, trying to bite back a pained whimper. You’ve learned that the more you cry and beg and sob, the more it turns him on. The rougher he is with you. The more he beats you and fucks you and ruins you in every way he can.

“We’ll have to be more careful,” he sighs it out, like you’re both on the same team here. Like neither of you want his brothers to find out. Which... in a twisted way is true. But he speaks like you want this as much as he does. Like it’s a forbidden romance rather than vile abuse.

His thumb presses harder against your bruise, other hand gripping your throat as he kisses you roughly. His lips are harsh against yours, tongue forcing its way into your mouth. Once he’s pried his way between your lips, the kiss turns disgustingly tender. The hand around your throat cups your face instead, brushing over your cheek almost lovingly. When he pulls away, you can see for just a moment the obsessive adoration on his face before it melts back into a hard snarl.

“We don’t want them finding out about our little... arrangement. They wouldn’t understand. I can’t have them thinking I’ve gone soft, just because I understand the value of a warm, desperate human to fuck. Or worse, getting mad that I’m treating their pet human like the worthless little punching bag that it is. And you don’t want anyone finding out what a little whore you are, do you? You don’t want them to know how easy it is to just bend you over and fuck you raw. What cute little tears you shed when you’re getting used. How much you love it...”

“I don’t—” Your common sense kicks in mid-protest, and you shut your mouth quickly.

“Oh, come on.” Belphie scoffs, hand pushing past your waistband to rub his palm against the heat between your thighs. “Are you still playing this ridiculous game? We both know how much you want it. How much you need it. How much it turns you on when I use you. Don’t you remember how much you begged for me to fuck you last night? When I gave you this pretty little mark?”

His thumb presses into the bruise again, your throat tightening at the pain. Last night... It was hard to forget. Flashes of that night come unbidden to your mind: His hand pressing hard into your spine, keeping you pinned face down on the bed while he fucked you from behind. His tail lashing at your ass until you were raw, red, sobbing. His claws digging into your chest, thighs, back, leaving deep gashes in their wake that were sure to scar. His voice, growling threats to you, threats and stomach-turning praise at how good of a fucktoy you were.

“That’s right, you remember, don’t you?” Belphie’s hand is slow and teasing, working away beneath your underwear. It’s hard to deny how good it feels. “You were so out of it, but I’m sure you remember everything you said to me... Begging for more. Begging me to fuck you harder. To use you. You even begged me to hit you more. That bruise, you asked for it. You begged me to leave a mark where everyone could see. You wanted them all to know how good I make you feel, even when I hurt you. Like a good little whore. You tried to deny how good it felt at first, but after the first time I made you cum... well, you really changed your tune, didn’t you?”

Begging...? No. No, you hadn’t begged for him. You’d begged him to stop, to leave you alone, to please please please stop hurting you. To stop fucking you. To stop this whole thing. And then... and then he’d made you cum. You hadn’t wanted to. You’d begged him not to make you. But his hands were so nimble, so soft and skilled... You couldn’t help yourself. You couldn’t help the way your mind melted. And you’d babbled a bunch after that. You’d said so many things... but what were they? Surely... surely, you’d been begging him to stop. Of course you had. You didn’t want this. Not in the slightest.

“Don’t you remember?” Belphie’s voice is a condescending little coo, pouting at you as his hand works a little faster. “Don’t you remember begging me to hit you? Telling me how good it makes you feel? Come on, focus.” His thumb digs into your swollen eye once more, and you can’t ignore the jolt in your stomach as his hand works harder on you.

Fuck... did you beg for it? Did you say all those things? You can’t remember what you’d said, you’d been babbling. In pain, desperate for relief, probably willing to say anything to make him stop. Surely you didn’t like it. The pain, the abuse. Of course, you don’t like it. It wasn’t your fault he made you cum. It was a natural reaction to being touched like that, fucked like that. You don’t enjoy the beating and fucking. That would make you a—

“Pathetic little slut.” Belphie pulls his hand out from your waistband, showing you the sticky wetness on his palm. “You like this. Deny it all you want, but your body doesn’t lie. And neither do you, when I get you nice and fucked out. So, what do you want this time?”

You don’t answer, too busy trying desperately to remember what you’d said to him last night. Had you really begged him to hit you hard enough to bruise? No... you would never... but, there had been a nice rush of pleasure when he’d pressed on the bruise while touching you...

You’re brought back by a harsh slap. “Come on, I can’t mark you anywhere they’ll notice. But that doesn’t mean I can’t hurt you. Answer me, what do you want?”

“Don’t... please, please don’t.” You’re not sure what you’re begging for. For him not to touch you, or not to make you ask for it. Whatever it is, you know it’s pointless to beg.

“Alright.” He shrugs a little, letting you go and stepping back.

You stare. He... he said alright? You hesitate. “I can... go?”

“Yeah,” he steps aside and gestures to the door. “Go right ahead.”

You stand slowly, eyeing him warily, waiting for him to change his mind. You’re half way to the door before you think to ask. “What’s the catch?”

“No catch.” Belphie looks smug. “I’ll just show everyone the pictures I have of you. Moaning on my cock, looking braindead as you go down on me, arching your back so I can spank you nice and hard. I was hoping to keep you all to myself, but if you want to go then I guess I can share. Let everyone know that our human exchange student is also a desperate, free-use slut. I’m sure there’s plenty of demons at RAD who’d love to do much worse to you than I do.”

Your heart drops, stomach jumping into your throat as you think of all the things other demons might do. Maybe... maybe you are better off giving in to Belphie. Letting him do as he pleases to you.

You slowly return to the bed, sitting down with tears in your eyes. “I’ll stay...”

Your voice is a broken whisper, but Belphie beams. “I knew you’d be smart about this. Now, tell me what you want.”

What do you want? To escape. For him to let you go, to delete the pictures, to never mention this again to anyone. You want to be free of him. To be able to wake up without aching ribs and bruises. To not be his personal cockwarmer anymore. To not feel his hands on you all the time, subtly riling you up even as he pretends to be so sweet and kind in public. To not be touched by him, no matter how good it feels, how much it turns you on...

“Don’t just squirm like a desperate whore, use your words.” Belphie growls, claws pushing into your chest as he forces you onto the bed properly. “Tell me what you want.”

His claws dig into your skin, tearing at your shirt and staining it with blood. He pins you down, sitting on your chest and ignoring the winded wheeze from your lungs. Your brain scrambles to come up with the answer he’ll like the best. The one that might make him go easiest on you.

“Whatever you want!”

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

The sound of Belphie’s belt and zipper was almost as loud as the pounding of your heart in your ears. Had you really just said that? Hadn’t you learned a single thing from all of this? Giving Belphie that kind of power...

“Finally...” It was a sigh of blissful relief, his hand fisting his cock as he stroked himself over your face, thighs straddling your chest. “Finally, you’ve learned your place. You’ve learned to enjoy your place beneath me, to enjoy being used like the toy you are. Now, touch yourself for me.”

You whimper as precum drips onto your face, watching him stroke his cock. It’s hard to stop the watering of your mouth as you stare at it, so used to having your mouth forced down onto it. He’s trained you so well. Too well. Your hand slides past your waistband to touch yourself, just like he ordered. You don’t want to know what he would do if you didn’t...

“Fuck,” he’s got that look in his eye again. Almost like he adores you, in his own twisted way. “You’d better be good and cum for me when I tell you to. I don’t really feel like having to slit your throat today.”

He says it so casually, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. But you can see his cock twitch at the thought. It’s hard to forget how much he seems to enjoy the idea of killing you. You hear it each and every time he uses you. Every depraved, fucked up fantasy he has about all the ways he can kill you and use your body after. It... fuck he’s got you too well trained. Too conditioned. The number of times his skilled hands have worked their magic on you while he told you about his snuff fantasies, just hearing them again makes heat pool in your core.

“Maybe I’ll tear a nice hole in your stomach and fuck your guts. Fill you with cum as you bleed out. Or I could hang you. Watch your legs kick as I string you up, fuck you as you get tighter and tighter around me, your body convulsing... Fuck, what else?”

It takes you a moment to realise the question isn’t rhetorical. You can feel the coil inside of you tightening, your hand hitting all the right places. “W-what else...?”

“Come on,” he slaps you with his free hand, sighing in disappointment. “You’re not really fuckdrunk already, are you? Come on, give me another idea.”

Your mind races, heart pounding as your hand works faster. His hand comes up, ready to slap you again. “Bathtub!” You blurt out, voice laced with a moan. He slowly lowers his hand. “You could... fuck me from behind. While... drowning me. In— In the bathtub.”

“Good,” his hand works faster, licking his lips at the mental image of you struggling as he holds your head underwater. “Good. Maybe that’s how I’ll kill you, once you’re no longer useful to me. First I’ll train you to cum for me whenever I want, though. I want to feel you cum for the last time as you die.”

His voice is breaking a little, breathing laboured as his coherence slips away a bit. You aren’t doing much better, heart pounding in fear and arousal as you touch yourself for him. These fantasies that revolt you, that make your stomach turn... they also make you melt a bit, disgust and desire mingling horribly in your stomach as you continue to get yourself off for his amusement.

“Go on, cum for me. I want to see your face when you do. Shit— You’d better cum before I do, or I’ll kill you here and now. I’ll reach into your chest and tear your fucking heart out.”

His voice is a desperate growl, eyes hazy with lust. You can’t tell if he even notices what he’s saying, but you’re not about to take that gamble. You need to cum for him. Now.

You almost wish it was his hands on you, he always seems to know exactly how to touch you. Exactly how to make you cum for him. The thought makes your stomach turn again, but you focus on the hard, dripping cock throbbing right above your face. You imagine how good it feels when he actually bothers to take the time to prep you before fucking you senseless with it. Thankfully, you feel yourself crash over the edge, covering your fingers in warm cum. Your head drops back and you moan something incoherent. He presses hard on your bruised eye as you do, your body spasming under him as the pain and pleasure mingle in a horribly wonderful way.

“Fuck, good human.” He growls out, fist working fast as he finally spills cum across your face. “Fuck, there you go... A gift, for keeping our little secret.”

He leans down and kisses you almost sweetly, tasting his own cum on your lips. It’s an uncomfortable position for him, crouching over you, so he moves to settle on the bed beside you instead. He pulls you to him, fingers pushing slightly into the gashes he’s left on your chest. You wince at the pain, hating the twitch of arousal in your stomach that accompanies it. He seems to be admiring the new marks mingling with the old ones.

“You’d better keep these nice and covered up. You don’t want anyone else finding out about this, do you? You’re mine. Only mine. And only I get to hurt you.”

#18+ only #obey me! shall we date? #obey me nsft #belphegor x reader #gn!reader #dark side of the sun #sunshine #back by popular demand part 2 of the fucked up belphie fic :3c #more fucked up than the last one too!! #crosspost

[rainbowgothdisaster]

Jason's thighs and tits tho 😩

this man has me so fucked up. tw for blood, bruising, guns, crying during sex, face fucking, boobjob, size difference (i wasnt originally gunna put this under the cut but then. youll see. i got carried away. i ramble.)

also this is so incredibly horny i cannot emphasize how unhealthy i am about this man. there's some nice stuff at the end but its still kinda horny just not explicitly fucking

listen. i need to sit at his feet with my head against his legs just licking and nibbling my way up. leave so many hickies and bruises. i do not care who is in control i am taking my time working up. and id work all the up to his face so that the entirety of his legs, belly, titties, and neck are completely discoloured. i would absolutely be wearing lipstick everytime im kissing around him. i NEED to leave as much of a mark as i can. i NEED him begging without me even being half way done.

i am absolutely fucking his titties by the way is that even a question?? can you IMAGINE how good thatd feel???? justing sitting on his belly and pushing them together????? i mean it might not be enough to completely envelope your cock but GOD just the fact ur doing it is enough.

if im topping (bcuz jason todd is a switch and we need more bottom!jason todd x reader content) i am folding that man in half and he will have so many hand shaped bruises on his thighs. i keep my nails really long so hed def be bleeding as well just from digging my nails in holding his knees to his chest. i dont care how itd hurt my back to bend forward and keep pounding him my face is in his titties the whole time. if hes taking it from behind then i am completely wrapped around so i can grope him. or im holding onto his thighs for leverage. either way i am dicking this man down until he is SOBBING. he already cries during sex, you cannot convince me otherwise, and i am absolutely getting as many tears and cum (and blood👀) out of him as possible.

and he would ABSOLUTELY do the same to me. i will call this man anything he wants for him to fucking destroy me. listen. imagine it. hes fucking your face, youre absolutely scratching the hell out of his thighs trying to get your bearings. or even better hes in gear and your hands are legitimately tangled in his thigh holsters. hes an empty gun in his left hand (that btw is covered in your spite) and your hair in his right. when were finally fucking good and proper as the lord intended hes got me on my back to look in my eyes but all i can do is cling to him and alternating between biting him (bcuz i just need something in my mouth and im less likely to take out his jugular than i am to bite off his fingers) and just having my face shoved in his titties. both our backs are scratched up. i can feel his legs trembling inbetween my completely useless ones.

afterwards im laying on top of him, were both covered in cum tears sweat spit and blood and legs too weak for either of us to do anything about it (not that i want to anyway), im just absentmindedly groping him (titties are just stim toys) until we pass the fuck out from *gestures vaguely* ALL OF THAT.

his thighs are absolutely unfair. need a nap? pillows. hes in gear? god his hostlers cling to him in just the right way. hes got shorts on? my eyes are never leaving his thighs. im not even being subtle i am fully staring. no one would blame me. everyones jealous i get to hit that. i would always have a hand on them when were sitting together. not even horny they're just nice and i need to feel them. soft muscle has me fucked up. hed totally flex them just to see my reaction too.

oh his titties are just as bad. sure they're not defines thru his armour but when he has to get dressed up????? jason todd in a button up???? oh my god how has he not lost any buttons yet. suits are absolutely not fair, and sure he may think the same as me all dressed up, but its not the same. bcuz i fucking said so. also taking naps on his titties is even nicer than his thighs, his thighs he could be doing something else but his chest you know his full attention is on you. fully pressed against each other. i am 5'0" and i put him at 6'4" so i come up to his titties. anytime he would corner me against a wall i am at tit height. perfect.

hes the type that once ur comfortable around each other hes never wearing a shirt again (me too babe) and thank whatever god there is for that. hes walking around just in sweats, titties out?

hed def walk around without pants too, just in boxers. you get to enjoy his thighs too? id faint. this man is so perfect. hes the type that if i looked at him too long id start crying. like in complete adoration.

i am pulling this man on the couch or into bed every opportunity i get, i need to be tangled in him. i need our legs tangled together or to be in his lap.

im not a fan of weighted blankets bcuz of how blankets work they make me feel trapped, but id love for a person to lay on top of me. just jasons weight pressed on me, half not bcuz he doesnt wanna crush me. just a reminder hes there as i fall asleep.

#jason todd #tw gunplay #tw bloodplay #FINALLY i get to expose myself #anon you have no IDEA how much ive wanted to thirst this hard and in this much detail #i have wanted to talk about my kinks for forever but i get nervous #no if im simping for this man you are knowing the gross details

[stormcrow513]

Been sitting on this for a bit, because it's absolutely going to piss people off, but what the hell if I can make just one person think, then well it's worth it,

I want to lose weight, or more accurately fat,

My reason are as follows,

I'm sure I'd feel better, I have bad knees, and bad ribs, I can feel the fat dragging on these tender spots at times, I'm sure shedding some fat would help,

I want to improve my overall health, my muscles, my stamina, ect. It all kinda comes together,

While I don't hate the way I look, I think I'd like my appearance more if I were trimmer then I am currently,

This is something I only talk to my ma about, because over the years I've discovered there's not really anyone I can talk to, I get the following responses,

People trying to sell me snake oil,

(It took be a while to realize how awful this is, and that you can't really trust any of it, which lately just hearing a fucking weight watchers commercial either feels me with rage or tears,)

These people are either the sellers of said snake oil or have bought into it for a number of reasons, either way no talking to em, it's like an almost cult brainwashing,

People with really stupid and fucking condescending advice,

Go to bed early and get up early,

I'm a night owl, I don't fucking work like that, that would literally make me more unhealthy and unlikely to exercise,

YoU'rE nOt TrYInG hArD eNoUgH

Then there's the 'you want to lose weight!?! Well aren't you a fat phobic pice of shit'

I mean I get how completely messed up people treat fat people, like I get it, it's messed up and unfair,

But,

Here's the thing what I want to do with my fucking body is not in fact an attack on you,

If you were to ask me how shits going and I mentioned how excited I am that I've lost some weight and am feeling good,

This is not a dig at you if you happen to be fat,

I don't care if you're fat,

I really fucking do not,

Also I am not betraying you personally by seeking to change my body,

Then lately in the last year to now it's,

Weight has everything to do with genetics and you will never never ever lose weight and why would you want to you need to seek to love your body as is,

Duuuuuude,

I mean yes we are in fact learning from scientists the sheer scope of the things we inherited from our ancestors, their trauma, and yes famine has its roll to play,

But good lordy am I the only gal around here that here's how strikingly similar that sounds to terf rhetoric?

I am looking around and it seems to me anytime someone is in anyway unsatisfied with their body there is someone out there frothing at the mouth with hate wanting to force you to not be allowed to do that, or laughing cruely at you with hate, trying to shame you into not doing it,

I've seen it my whole life, I knew this kid at school who kept coming at me calling my ma names for dying her hair,

People still get all pissy about hair dying,

Or how someone styles their hair, the most obvious the way black people are treated,

but everyone of the women in my family were afraid to cut their hair to short cause it pissed my sperm donor off, so it's wide spread problem, like also my eldest sister an I had like the same curly frizzy hair, she spent so much time trying to keep hers tame, which I get cause I never have and some people look at me like I peed in the middle of a church,

Then we got tattoos, my said eldest sister got a lizard on her ankle, and his it from our sperm donor since she was afraid of him,

After she died ma got the same lizard on her arm above her wrist, people will fucking sneer at her, even now 2023,

Then there's the plastic surgery of any fucking kind, sweet jesus,

And of course Trans people deserve their own seperate mention,

Sorry trying to start winding down this got real long on me,

One of the things that baffle me here is,

I have seen people be okay with women getting boob jobs (as long as the boobs are getting bigger) but have a fit over anyone else doing that, especially trans people,

I have seen people who are cool with women getting abortions, but not cool with trans people,

People who are cool with trans people on the other hand seem to lose their whole ass shit if any person who isn't trans wants to modify their body in any way, unless it's for medical reasons,

like their cool with you wanting to get a boob reduction cause of chronic back pain, but if you want to Botox your wrinkles you're an old people hating monster,

I saw this one post where this person was like I don't care if you do plastic surgery and they really clearly did cause they kept saying how sad it is that people hate themselves that much, in a tone so nasty it slapped me through the screen,

Then there was the thing where it came out a bunch of rich guys had their legs broken so they could be taller,

Which that upset me cause a, they can do that but someone wanting a dick or boobs or no boobs is becoming a literal criminal offense, b, I would kill a person to get a breast reduction surgery, my boobs are really messed up, completely loopsided not one just a bit bigger but two completely different sizes, one side being pretty big, I run into shit a lot cause my balance is fucked up,

I was mad cause they got to have that and I can't have what I want, but while people did remark on the unfairness of rich people getting whatever the hell they want,

a lot of people were going off saying this like

' jesus what freak would mutilate themselves like that,'

haha they must really hate themselves,'

'they must hate short people assholes, you're still a short person your height isn't real'

On and fucking on,

All of this shit is so tangled with this werid wide spread mentality that you should have a say in what other people do with their bodies,

It's in all, communitys,

I don't know maybe I watched Ripleys believe it or not, too much as a kid,

There was an episode where there was this guy who wanted to look like a lizard and a gal who wanted to look like a cat, they both had full body tattoos the guy green and scaly, the gal tiger orange and black, they both got cosmetic surgery guy had ridges put into his eyebrows and had his tongue cut at the end for the reptile split tongue look, gal had holes punched into her face around her moth and had removable whiskers,

I at first was a bit like ewww, but also thats kinda cool,

I watched that episode every time it came on, it was my favorite,

cause,

They did what they wanted done to their bodies, they found a way to be more comfortable in their skin,

I've always wanted that,

Not to look that way specifically, but to have that courage and happiness,

I have since then never found it my business what a person does with their body, and I never will,

I hope I one day live in a world that anyone can do what ever they want to themselves, as if our own bodies can be a canvas of our inner artistic expression,

Or to be left as nature built it,

That there is no shame in either choice,

And no struggle for money or such,

That it is simply a thing anyone can do at any time,

Anyway I don't treat people badly for shaping their bodies and I wish I could be extended that same curiosity,

That's all,

[viovio]

10, 16, 18, 22 dinoverse?

10. worst part of fanon

You cannot belieeeeeve how much misogyny there is about Vanora that they'd make shit up about her.

You'd think reading her thoughts and input as the player character would make people's insight about her line up with canon but the whole thing is that she grows more and more out of player control and into her own choices as the chapters progress. Do not go into the vtsom fic tag worst mistake of my life but also someone had to be at the devil's sacrament.

Like yea she did. in fact. kill Vincent (deserved but also wooooooo my god... it was bound to happen to either of them and at the rate she's going she's gonna keep climbing bodies to get kicked down by Myers.) and manipulate Draco at the end to do the same but calling her abusive WHILE referring to their relationship before is insane I mean neurodivergent. His fixation and disillusionment of her isn't healthy💔

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Chaser Victor and happy family dads vinvic + son Draco for many reasons.

Mira's said this before but because I like Victor to an unhealthy degree (just like him fr) I'm kinda bummed he doesn't have any character outside of Vincent.

Which sort of makes sense within the context of his character and their til-the-end partnership but he's been having problems ingrained into him before RMU for sure. I'd like to see that it's insane I mean neurodivergent how they know each other better than anyone and are still stuck in the past. They're back at square 1 with never moving forward. (What's he gonna do when revenge goes through? Look at himself? no.)

Anyways I'm getting off-topic it creates conflict for sure which I love. If integrated into canon which is the direction it seems to be getting I'm sure dino will write in more for him but the way people write a chaser Victor just feels very ooc. You mean to tell me he would not tell Vincent?

That parts already gotten long so I'll summarize this stupid family shit + my kind little fucked up homonculi weapon who's also my brother and I make into my butler. I don't think they would make good parents so its so sucks when they turn Draco into a baby in fanart stop this madness

18. there should be more of this type of fic/art

ZALMONAAAAAAA ZALMONAS JOURNEY IN PROVING HER INNOCENCE. PLEASE PLEASE YOU'RE NOTHING SHE TALKS ABOUT A COUPLE OF AMUSING INCIDENTS IMAGINE G4S MOST WANTED CRIMINAL TELEPORTS INTO YOUR BATHHOUSE WITH YOUR COCK OUT PLEASEEEEE.

Honestly like who give a shit about the other districts that's something Dino should be writing about can we PLEASE get speculation on how the watch works. Is there a catch? does she get dizzy? What was her detective work like. I wanna replay chapter 3 because she's only had surface level info about Myers from the news so she had to do a lot of digging pleaseeeeee a parallel of her investigation and Vanora at Myers trying to cover stuff up would be so sweet.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

Being in the tranches it's same as above where is.where the fuck is Zalmona where is her meanness her brashness. Where is that that never contradicts her kindness, if you reduce her to the strong dumbass trope I'll kill you. I miss my wife Nini.

I wanna say in that same vein would be Vanora but I'm pleasantly surprised by the amount of art she gets, maybe it's bcoz of my mutuals but it's nice. Zalmona gets that too but it's not to the same degree tbh. I dontlike most dinoverse fans honestly

#asks #ask games #wanshengjie #id tag this bc like dinoverse fans arent as rabid insane but also idrc tbh. if you find this and disagree good for you #long post

[randomstrom]

Hello to the, like, ten (10) people who make up the Lab Rats/Mighty Med/Lab Rats: Elite Force fandoms!

I finally have access to Disney+ which means I can finally watch these shows again! (Last time I had seen them I was fourteen (14) which was a long time ago considering I am in my twenties (20’s)…)

Anyways, I plan to “binge watch” the shows between holiday and winter break (I am in college so I get a long winter break!) And I was thinking, if you all would be interested, there is a couple of things I was thinking of writing for the fandom (mainly Lab Rats because that’s the one I watched the most but some for Mighty Med too) which I’ll describe below. But if any of you are interested in one or all of them let me know (or my therapist will have to listen to me ramble about them lol).

1.) okay so first idea is a bit basic but it’s me, almost, annotating the show as I watch it. Seems a bit boring but I think it might be kinda interesting to document my thoughts watching the show as an adult and compare it with my thought about the show as a preteen/young teenager.

Growing up I was into watching a lot of medical shows and by the time I was in middle school, so the same time all these shows were coming out, I got really big into comic books and super heroes. So it’s a no brainer that I was hyped for Mighty Med but sadly I was never home in time to watch the episodes because of school and extracurricular activities. 🥲 So I do know some of the stuff that happened in the show and know a decent amount about the main and few side characters but in regards to annotating, it will be a lot of me watching it Mighty Med for the first time.

I think it’s kinda obvious that I am a fan of Chase character so there will be a lot of comments about him. However I will also cover the topics about siblings dynamics and how the Davenport siblings have unhealthy, borderline toxic, relationships. I also know that I am going to hit very hard on the fact that Leo and Tasha’s characters were so undermined and they deserve so much better since they play such a critical role in the plot! For two main characters they felt like side or even background characters and it’s just not right by any means!

In this annotation I will also most likely talk a lot about ethics and how inaccurate/unacceptable and, at times, inhuman some of the topics, actions, and behaviors that the actors had to portrayed. Now I am a psychology major and a graduate student in social work so ethics and the proper treatment of humans is something that I am highly educated and an advocate about so I am going to be digging these characters (specifically the adults) for a lot of things and I want to make it know that I love all these characters but these is a lot of fucked up stuff that happens in this show that would never be okay (let alone accurate) in today’s society.

2.) okay now stay with me here, the second idea is a psychological analysis of a few characters - specificity Donald, Douglas, Adam, Bree, and Chase for Lab Rats and then Kaz, Oliver, and Skylar’s behavioral changes as they experience more trauma in Mighty Med and Elite Force (I am especially going to hit on Oliver’s character changes between shows because there is a lot to unpack there). Now before you start judging me, I am a senior (year four (4)) psychological science major at university so I do know a lot about different psychological disorders, trauma responses, along with healthy and unhealthy coping skills. And I had this idea a few years ago because in one of my courses when we were talking about personality disorder it reminded me a lot of the Davenport brother. I had also mentioned it because my professor liked it when we would reference different medias that showcased psych disorders (whether in a good or bad light, accurate or not), but more on that later.

3.) idea number three is a bit along the lines of idea two. A lot of people in the fandom might not know about this but Adam, Bree, and Chase’s characters are written completely inaccurate to the point that it drives me insane. I know that this is show is supposed to be a sitcom and that we shouldn’t take the characters that seriously but the thing is… the main plot about how the kids were raised in a basement, away from most all human interaction is by all means creepy. When most people think of kids being locked in a basement… well let’s just say that they normally don’t think they are being used for human experiments. That being said there is scientific evidence and studies that, when thinking in hypothetical terms, can show proof that these kids shouldn’t be functioning the way they are if they truly never left the basement and their only knowledge of the outside world was though Donald and a few movies.

There is also a scientific study that could help prove that Douglas is, or at least at one point was, a good parental figure for the kids when they were infants. And, if you are interested, there are ways to prove that Adam, Bree, Chase, AND Leo would have a completely different relationship and perspective of Donald based on what people, who were raised by narcissistic parent(s), have said about their experiences and traumas that line up with what we know about the characters.

4.) If any of you are interested I have some just personal thoughts, headcannons, one-shots, etc about the characters and shows

5.) last idea (for now at least) would be me essentially rewriting Lab Rats and when it crosses over with Mighty Med into the Elite Force (I am going to mostly leave Mighty Med’s plot alone because it is a great one but I will change the ending a bit because it’s wrong to blow it up 😭). In this rewrite it will focus a lot on addressing time line issues, the different relationships/family dynamics, LGBTQIA+ topics (*looking a Douglas, Bree, and Chase character*), trauma, CHARACTER DEVELOPMENTS, holding characters responsible for their actions, a bit more on Krane’s past, giving Marcus a redemption arc and getting to see him grow as a character, addressing struggles adjusting to new life changes (Kaz and Oliver adjusting to being doctors/having responsibilities, more on skylar getting use to normos life styles and herself discovery, the Lab Rats learning and adjusting to life in a more accurate way), etc.

Anyways let me know if anyone is interested in any of these, if not then 🤷 idk I just want to talk to someone about how fuck up these shows were and the impact they had on me lmao 😅😬

#lab rats #lab rats bionic island #lab rats elite force #mighty med #kaz mighty med #oliver mighty med #skylar storm #chase davenport #adam davenport #bree davenport #leo dooley #tasha davenport #donald davenport #douglas davenport

[jennrypan]

Sorry for not making it clear but what i meant is that this show didn't develop their female character properly by the writing. Your point sometime female character doesn't need to be revelant to the plot i agree sometime yes but there's also sometime where the female character need to shine

millie we never got any episode center around her character and her personality also character being moxxie wife. Millie she's voiced by a black woman

stella not only that she's inconsistent but her potrayal as abuser is really problematic. I believe they have no intention to make her character interesting. Also just because stella and stolas don't love each other doesn't mean stolas cheating is justified. Woman in the relationship always get the blame when their male partner cheated

verosika her design wasn't too bad and let me tell you this marinette VA voice this character. Verosika it's shpwn us that blitzo is a shitty boyfriend toward verosika so why not shown us that how their relationship was and validated her anger toward blitzo

Loona i will be honest she's not a great character at all Kat elliot from wendell and wild is her but with more better writing and character arc

Octavia poor kid have to deal with unhealthy marriage between stolas and stella. I get it stolas trying he's best but it's the bare minimum beside stolas really need to control he's hornyness around octavia she doesn't need to see that. Octavia she's actually can be a great character but the show doesn't put enough screentime for her

Oh no you phrased it well!! My point wasn't exactly to your statement, I was just saying it lol--

(Also ye I know Millies voiced by a black woman and Marinettes VA is Verosika! I love it so much--)

And you do make great points but the way I see it, I like the way Millie is, she's chaotic and always willing to give a helping hand, she's a secondary character, and with Stella, I like that she's a bitch and she's snooty, should Stolas have cheated? No, he could've gone about it differently but they're demons, demons don't exactly have morals so they do fucked up shit so of courses he gonna swing to the far left and make everything worse, they are a terrible couple and they should've never had this dispute in front of their younger daughter

Verosika has every right to hate Blitzo and I LOVE THAT, clearly she loved him (she has his name tattooed on her like) and he clearly fucked up!! I really like the fact that she genuinely seemed to love him, but then he screwed it up by being himself. I would love to see a flashback to them dating though, I wanna see what he did and see her reaction (I really like character expressions so I wanna see her like. Angry/sad??) Also..I wanna see more Verosika in general

And with Loona she's kinda okay for me?? Cuz I don't really dig too deep in what she says, cuz I'm very..okay with this Show 😭 Like I know she's not everyone's favorite but I like her tbh, (I like all the characters cuz they're all literally pieces of shit, like all of them cept for Octavia obvi) she's just there for me

Also OCTAVIA DESERVES TO BE IN A BETTER ENVIRONMENT!! Stolas is trying but he's still fucking it up!! Him publicly fighting Stella and being stuck on Blitzo in front of his daughter isn't great! He does clearly love her but still, its not healthy for kids to see how much their parents hate each other, also! I wanna see Stella's relationship with her daughter, I wanna see how they speak to each other, how Stella feels about her?? Like we can speculate and I've seen fanart that either make Stella a terrible mother or she tries to be good for Octavia (personally love that one better cuz it gives Stella nauce and heart. Like she's a bitch but she does love her daughter above all else)

Like. These characters could be expended on more but I'm more so interested in Stella and Octavias whole thing?? I LOVE Millie sm but those situations interest me more-

#j.p speaks #helluva boss #i still havent watched the last episode haha-- #and i wont cuz im lazy 💔 #im so luke warm on character analyse for them?? #i think im expecting so little into this show character wise it doesnt surprise me if its lacking 😭 #not to say its a bad show #i still like it but lmao

[leam1983]

On Evolving Tastes

1989: "I know of no other games than Super Mario Bros. 1 through 3, Tetris, Doctor Mario and Mickey's Mousecapade. This will last for a few years, until my aunt will introduce me to bootleg 300-in-one cartridges. Ironically, I'll only ever touch Yie Ar Kung Fu, Macross, Mappy, Dig Dug and City Connection."

1990: "Dad's discovered that a store near his office sells Tengen cartridges for a fraction of officially-licenced titles! He gets me Gauntlet on the super cheap, thinking I'll play it once and forget about it, but Gauntlet becomes the one game I play the most often."

1996: "Man, Earthworm Jim and Myst are going to dominate this summer vacation! I might even work in some time for a few Mortal Kombat tourneys!"

1999: "I got over my giant snob self and gave Quake and Half-Life a shot. Something's shifted, for sure. I'm not sure, but I might actually like a few shooters..."

2001: "I am a grown-ass man and I cannot stop playing The Sims. Please send help, I'm nurturing an unhealthy God complex."

2002: "I'm really mad at myself for not finding out about Vampire - The Masquerade: Redemption until two years after its release."

2004: "Vampire - The Masquerade: Bloodlines has consumed me."

2005: "Study? Yeah, sure, I do - but Unreal Tournament 2004 is where it's at - whenever Black & White 2 doesn't consume for weeks on end."

2006: "My Dad introduced me to SimCity 3000 several years too late, which is introducing me to the wacky world of PC retrogaming. I now use his beige croaker of a clerical machine to work on Isometric metropolises while snapping my fingers to some real-ass Jazz bops."

2007: "I resisted for two years, but finally caved in to Guitar Hero. It's also the best excuse I had to get a Slim PS2."

2008: "I used my paycheck from my first Real, Adult Man Job at the campus to get myself an XBOX 360 and Fable II! I'll spend years playing it while ignoring the game's obvious flaws!"

2009: "I kinda hate myself for it, but I splurged on a PS3 after a friend showed me Super Stardust HD."

2010: "Fuck you, getting myself a Wii for the express purpose of playing the Metroid Prime Trilogy. Also, ow, this exact fucking thing will also send me off to my first serious GP appointment as an adult, for a Carpal Tunnel Syndrome diagnosis. I'll spend two years wearing a wrist brace and playing through all three games in short bursts. The tendon responsible for retracting my right thumb is on permanent fire and every gameplay session puts me through a physical gauntlet, but every new gameplay component the series introduces makes me feel like a kid again."

2011: "Skyrim. Just - Skyrim. I'll perpetrate my first and only acts of professional truancy to devote entire weeks to my quest log. It helps that this winter was particularly Siberian, so I had plenty of excuses to stay home and slay dragons."

2014: "I power through Destiny on the PS3 and spend about four months being extremely hooked onto the game's universe and lore. I'll design character after character even after finishing the main quest four times, because I finally discovered what Halo stans have been enjoying for years - which is an approachable and still complex Fantasy/Sci-Fi shooter that hasn't yet lost its narrative compass...

Luckily, I also find out about Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor and realize I have a thing for Uruk-Hai labelled as "The Friendly". I'll spend a year at the pace of an hour or two per day trying to populate my two camps with nothing but Friendlies."

2015: "As is usually the case, I come into this a few years too late and discover the joy that is Saints Row: The Third. GTA never grabbed me, while Volition's total lack of self-seriousness delights me. I buy Saints Row IV immediately after finishing my first run-through, and find that Volition's writing team is the only thing that keeps me going. If it weren't for JB Blanc's mouth-watering portrayal of Emperor Zinyak, I'd be playing a fun, if average third-person shooter."

2016: "Bigger job titles means more disposable income, which means my first custom-built tower PC after years of prebuilts - and a PS4! Destiny 2 and GTA 5 are big ones on there, but the first one disappoints me with how it gatekeeps the lore behind high-skill activities that are unfriendly for players with navigational or reflex-related issues (i.e. moi) and the second turns absolutely turgid at any moment that doesn't feature Trevor Philips.

Seriously, who do I have to call at Rockstar to let them know I don't give a rat's ass about Michael DeSanta's midlife hoodlum crisis?!"

2017: "Middle-Earth: Shadow of War, baby! Copy and paste my fixation from 2014, except now Friendlies are voiced by JB Blanc. Thank fuck for apartments, 'cause I wouldn't have wanted my folks to see me aggressively blush any time a Friendly crossed swords with me, claiming to want to be my pal."

2020: "Welp, guess it's nothing except slaying demons and building an island commune on my brand-new Nintendo Switch... Oh, and wouldn't you know it, Cyberpunk 2077 just came out, and in such a state that I won't seriously touch it until September 2022..."

2021: "What's happening to me? Why am I so psyched about Power Washer Simulator? Why did I spend nearly as much time in Mechanic Simulator 2021 as I did in Skyrim? Why do I persist in being hyped for House Flipper despite reports of horribly unoptimized code?"

2022: "I might as well embrace it: I have no hair on top and grow a mo' in an afternoon, I can only maintain a very mild case of fitness and there's fifteen to twenty pounds I just can't get rid of no matter how hard I try. I am a Dad, now. I have the Dad Bod - the real one, not the one perpetuated by misaligned kiddies who'd call British Pop Music starlets Daddy - and I am now oddly hyped for Construction Simulator. I've finished Cyberpunk four times, played through Elden Ring twice, and I'm at the point where I'd honestly be excited by a game that finds some way to simplify the act of grading papers.

I dream of a twist on Papers, Please where one plays as a lecturer and where the goal of the game is to grade papers while avoiding interpersonal or professional scandals, as well as meeting faculty quotas..."

#gaming #history #super mario bros #mickey's mousecapade #city connection #mechanic simulator #fable #cyberpunk 2077 #destiny #destiny 2 #GTA V #Saints Row The Third #Saints Row IV #Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor #Middle-Earth: Shadow of War #Myst #Riven #Half-Life #Animal Crossing New Horizons #Doom #Doom Eternal #Skyrim #Metroid Prime trilogy #The Sims #Black & White #games

[forgottenshiloh]

Allure

That's a good word for you, I went back today. i felt super sad at first but then i got in a pretty good mood. i remembered on the way back to my house how we searched that whole neighborhood looking for your dog that time and we were fighting kinda or just like bitchy towards each other but it's hilarious thinking back because i took my pants off and got in the back seat and you were jumping out of your truck at every house asking people if they had seen your dog. we were fucking nuts. i also remembered how you showed me the coolest hang out spot there ever was on your roof and you freaked out when you woke up one night and i was already out there, you were like that, you cared. you kinda babied me a little which has a tendency to drive me crazy but i miss someone caring sometimes. i could always count on you and i knew you weren't stupid so i wouldn't regret it either. you are a once in a lifetime thing and i don't know how long this will stay in the back of my mind making sick at the thought of just anybody, they won't be you. i'm me again, i'm gonna figure this out before i even think of reaching out to you and that's if i ever even do. really looking at the situation i'm sure i sound like i'm full of lies or i'm just delusional or like have D.I.D. or something but that's why i'm not even sure if i'll ever try to talk to you again because i'm aware i've lost it but i need to feel this, you really mattered and i can't just repress it anymore. sometimes i feel like i'm digging this up inside me because maybe i'm scared and you were my safe place. but that's the fun in no longer denying my own feelings, i have to deal with whatever i feel, alone, even if it's crazy ass anxiety or like some real heart aching void that only you used to fill, i can't let anybody in while i'm still broken especially because i remember the mean things i did to you and i hate that i did that. just to be clear i wasn't the sneaky bitch you thought i was but i was a fucking lunatic a time or two but it was in your face but i still feel bad and sometimes i see why you thought what you did because i do have some really unhealthy learned habits because i'm surrounded by them and to top that off i think i do have some attachment issues, i tend to be cold and shut down at the most inconvenient times possible and i'm absolutely misunderstood and yeah i'm toxic as fuck. i can see how i drove a motherfucker crazy but i'm gonna work on that too eventually but uh well this gonna be a long ass road to recovery. also this is funny i started writing as an apology and now you're like my diary. i wish you still loved me because you would so be all for it. Guess that old saying is true, you don't know what you've got til it's gone.

#youmeandshiloh

[elegyofthemoon]

4, 5, 6, and 15 for the ask game :)

HELLO HELLO ANN !! thanks for the ask :> this ...also got pretty long sooo

female character asks

4. A heroine you love?

I need to stop bringing FF13 in here all the time but I !!!! LOVE!!!! VANILLE!!!!! SO MUCH

With the way FF13 is written, it makes it seem as though Lightning is the true protagonist, but really the protagonist of the story is Vanille and her whole story is all about running away from the wrongs she had done and eventually facing it head on with the power of emotional support and friendship. She's the one who provides all the narration in the game, even if she isn't present in the scene itself, and she is the very cause of all things gone wrong in the story as well.

AND THE THING IS she also sits as one of my fave character types "bubbly front to mask how absolutely anxious she is deep inside". She tries to be super positive and keeps trying to solve things with 'let's run away!' but running away doesn't get her too far and all things of the past come back to get her in the end. Her story -- just as everyone else's is here -- is all about growing from that self-hatred, leaning more into 'how do you forgive yourself?' and it's just sO good and I love this liar so much. She deserves so much good

Also she's wlw so that's also my plus on that.

5. A female villain you love?

It took me a while because I had to sort out between villain and antagonist BUT I finally remembered Delilah Briarwood from Legend of Vox Machina :]

You know that trope of a guy goes nuts after his wife dies? okay thats her :) Except she takes death and chokes it by becoming a necromancer to bring her husband back and now she has a hot vampire husband. She also fucks up one of the protagonist's lives (my fave character from the series LOL) by taking his whole estate and killing his family and keeping his sister captive all these years and terrorizing the entire city.

But also shes happy with her dead husband being alive. Power couple but the absolute worse (I love them anyways)

6. A female character who got done dirty by the narrative?

SIGNORAAAAAAA. I'm still pissed about it tbh and I miss her everyday my wife :(

The thing is I knew her story as the Crimson Witch beforehand, and I knew her story with Rostam as well (one of my fave stories actually heheh)! So I knew a lot of her background and just.... her death was so.... sooooo done dirty. Or just her general treatment altogether was just a mess. It really sucks that you don't get to know her unless you really dig, and she got built up to be such a ruthless character only to perish in an instant ;; It makes me so sad...

...I'm still lowkey pleading they maybe. idk. somehow. give us. playable.... signora....? I mean, I don't play anymore, but god, the power of Fatui Harbingers have a hold on me can bring me back

15. Female character you would defend with your life?

I was trying to think about this because I just knoooow there's a character out there that I didn't care for until the fans made it my business and then now I love aggressively... I think if there's any character that kinda fits that bill... I tuink it might be Lightning (ANOTHER FF13 CHARACTER HAHAHA-)

Maybe this is just extended from the fact that people didn't like FF13 as well back in the day and I came into the series very very late with this actually being my first FF13? So maybe because of how special it is for me, I defend the game and the characters like my life depends on it lmao But Lightning is just a great character. I love that she eventually learns that 'fighting is not therapy' (that meme thats like 'fight therapy im becoming a knight wait what do you mean thats unhealthy?' yeah thats her whole character arc in a nutshell). I'l never forget how she was like 'You just have to fight your way through it' to a 14 year old kid and then nearly got her sister's fiance killed as a result of the very very bad lesson she learned and you can see the instant regret on her face like 'oh.....i fucked up bad.'

She's a very very awkward dad character. But damn does she try her best and damn does she love her sister so much she's just ass at showing it because she's too worried about trying to be the strong and reliable older sibling after the two got orphaned.

Anyways. I love FF13 so much I think more people should discover the game (and talk to me about it)

#two out of two of these asks i brought up ff13 characters 🧍🏼ill try my best not to do that again ALSKDJFASDLFJH #answered #sieglinde freud

[commanderserwin]

somnophilia.

somnophilia: paraphilia in which an individual becomes sexually aroused by someone who is unconscious.

✧ characters. levi ackerman x reader

✧ summary. “You want me to fuck you while you sleep?”

✧ more. !!! nsfw — somnophilia !!! 

italicized paragraphs = flashbacks

✧ notes. halfway through ~kinktober~ and here i am. also super kinda self-indulgent,,, 🤝 so,,, yeah,,, kinda somno, kinda not but yeah ... (◕‿◕) enjoy fellas 🤝

The thought of being ravaged— no, touched, while you were sleeping has ran through your mind in an unhealthy manner that even he was confused as to why you would want that to happen. Or as to why he should touch you. It has played so many times in his mind, agreeing and disagreeing with him over your body while you slept.

If he agrees, he has already thought of how he would run his fingers on your legs and into your inner thighs, almost teasingly rubbing on your spot, fully aware that you don’t wear your underwear at night. He would play with his fingers on your skin; he would watch your face contort into sleep and pleasure; he would feel himself harden with just the thought of you, so ready for him. Playfully teasing your cunt as he would insert a finger or two, until your eyes would open in surprise and awe— and perhaps he would push you into pleasure with his cock inside you or your mouth, whichever you would prefer, all the while you are off to your dreams or wide awake.

If he disagrees, it just means he wants you awake when he fucks you hard.

Levi opened the door to your apartment, gently padding across the living room to gather where you were. The television has been idly playing on the background, while you slept on the sofa with blankets all wrapped up around you like a cocoon. His eyes flicked to your parted lips, pink and ready for him to place a soft kiss as he would always do once he gets home from work. But just as he was about to bend down, he glanced at your sleeping face, eyelashes fluttered together, so deep in sleep that he has thought of what you said.

“Why?”

“It’s just something...” you mumbled, avoiding his eyes, “Just something I want you to do—, just something, to me.”

“You want me to fuck you while you sleep?”

“Well,” you panted, chest going up and down after Levi has finished a round on you. His grey eyes looked over at yours with such curiosity and wander that it made you shy and quiet— carnal thoughts gone in a glimpse. “Actually, let’s not talk about this.”

Levi stopped by the corner of the bed, picking up the discarded clothes and blankets while he listened to you. His ears perked up at your words, already knowing that you have once again closed off on him, and perhaps he should have asked it gentler and better— but he couldn’t get his mind around it. He walked towards your figure on the bed, looming down as he pried your fingers away from the heavy clutch you have got on the pillow. He almost smiled when you blushed full pink, such innocence, that it almost blew him away from the contrast of how much you were just begging for him earlier— again, and again, harder, and rougher.

“Tell me,” Levi mumbled, sitting beside your waist, while he placed his hands on either side of your head. He licked his lips, thirsting at your idea, and he was quick to be open to it once you have finally looked straight into his eyes with want. “Tell it to me again.”

“I want you to fuck me— touch me.” You murmured, breathing deeper as Levi moved in closer to your lips— head slightly tilting while his lips almost brushed yours. You closed yours eyes, hands coming up to his neck as Levi listened to the decision in your voice, “Levi, I want you to fuck me while I’m asleep.”

With the most delicate touches, Levi danced his thumb over your parted lips, watching how it would move with the softest movements, how his breath hitched when your lower lip bounced as he touched your lips. He hasn’t got the slightest idea how you were sleeping— but he thought it might be because he hasn’t fully touched you yet. His fingers lifted the blanket off of your body with the tips, his feet moving backwards as he flung the blankets away and to the chair. With the light from the television, he saw how you were dressed in a large shirt with your legs curled up to your chest.

Levi’s mind fluttered to his thoughts when he agreed, counting them off as to what he would do.

Fingers on your thighs.

Levi’s fingers delicately played on your soft thighs, using the tips of his fingernails to elicit a jolt from your sleeping body, but once you didn’t even blink awake, he moved on to the next. His fingers found your sex, rubbing just at the folds— never entering the tip of his finger just yet. His eyes flicked to your face, a silent groan coming out while you turned your face.

Levi’s heart beat against his chest— stopping once he realized you still weren’t awake. Then he proceeded, he focused his attention to your face, biting his lip as he watched your lips part more while your brows furrowed slightly with a sigh. Levi rubbed his knuckles on your cheek again, while he rubbed your folds slowly, his lips turning upwards as he watched your body react to his touches.

One finger is all he needed to confirm that you were already wet from his touch. How it happened was beyond him, but he loved how much your walls clenched around his slender finger, already feeling your walls closed on it. Levi breathed deeply, curling his finger— slowly thrusting it and out repeatedly, just enough to make your walls clench more.

Two fingers were all he needed to confirm that you are well wet and ready for him. He wished he could replay how much your soft sighs turned him on as he inserted his fingers, curling them up— again, and again. He smiled in the dark, walls clenching around his ministrations, while you turned your face to the side gently, groaning softly as you folded your legs closer to your chest for retrieve.

But Levi wasn’t finished with you, he palmed his cock through his trousers, cursing at his pent up tension. He unbuckled his belt in a hurry, zipping down his pants, his thumb going over his tip.

Mouth.

“Baby,” Levi moved closer to your face, holding out to his length, wiping his pre-cum over your lips. He almost chuckled as your lips closed at the motion, “How are you still asleep?”

It was really blowing his mind of how well you are sleeping through it all. Levi angled his hips, close enough to your cheeks as he dipped the tip of his cock, pumping it in his hands while he inched it closer and closer to your lips. Your face moved, feeling your tongue on his cock as he gave it a couple of tries— but gentle as ever. He held to the sofa’s armrests, positioning and controlling himself to not go crazy and wake you up— literally his cock inside your mouth.

“Fuck,” Levi whispered, holding the base of his cock as he retreated himself.

He couldn’t control himself longer, as he held on to your curled legs, feeling the weight of the sofa shift underneath his knees while he positioned himself over you. He touched you once more, stroking your folds until he lost all control in his body. He angled his cock on your entrance, slowly inserting the tip— already feeling your slick, and then he thrusted.

Hard.

Rough.

Making you jolt awake.

“Already wet for me,” Levi murmured, holding on to your knees and hip as he watched your eyes open in surprise.

His name was like a disturbed prayer on to your lips, barely there and barely coherent as you wrapped your hand around his wrist, struggling to open your eyes.

“...vi,” you breathed, tightening your hold on to his wrist. You felt the coils in your stomach, the drenched bare spot between your thighs, panting as you realized what is happening. “Levi...”

Levi bunched up your shirt all the way to your chest. His hand went over to your breasts, adoring the way they bounced with every thrust as your mumbles echoed in his ears. He could feel your fingernails digging in to his skin, as he thrusted— again, and again, harder and rougher.

You cupped his cheek, panting hard as you felt him pulsate inside you— feeling so full. You brought him down, clashing your lips with his, shared breaths as Levi pulled away, nibbling on your neck as much as he could while you wrapped an arm around his neck.

Levi nudged your arm away, pulling himself away as he looked down at you. He angled himself deeper, holding down at your hip while he pounded into you. He could already feel your walls clench around him again, already feeling your close while your breathing staggered as you held yourself steady with a hand on the side of his neck.

Sleep was gone in your system, as you bit down your moans, moving your hips together— struggling to keep your eyes open with the very sensation that he is.

Levi breathed, kissing the inside of your wrist, “Did I wake you?”

#levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman imagine #levi x reader #levi ackerman imagines #aot imagines #aot imagine #snk imagines #levi ackerman smut #snk imagine #attack on titan imagines #attack on titan imagine #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #aot fanfiction #attack on titan smut #aot smut #I LOVE [redacted] #clearing drafts and ignoring my exams hello kinktober! #kinktober 2020

[dr3amofagame]

idk why but i imagined vegas 2.0 as two soccer moms (the politics bois) trying to outdo each other while their sons are dragged into it (green bois) in a rlly fvcked way. e.g.

maybe big q reconsidering dream's usefulness by saying sam's enough as protection and has other things to offer to the team as well. wilbur steps in by suggesting a duel between sam and dream then, to prove it then. maybe while it happens, wilbur whispers to quackity a list of what is still physically broken abt dream post prison (so many unhealed bones, barely healed muscle, he can barely stomach food so he had like 1 steak in the past few days, etc.) and of course, he mentions dream's most powerful asset, the revive book :)

-🐇

LMAOO

this is hilarious and also accurate as hell ,, thank you anon because the image of c!wilbur and c!quackity as PTA moms is completely sending me. this prompt (as most vt2 related things are) was really fun !! it also kinda ran away from me, which is why this ended up being almost 6k words instead of my usual 1-2k for asks, but i hope you enjoy it regardless :]

tws: implied torture/abuse, death, violence, blood, injuries, conditioning, dehumanization, panic attacks, emotional distress, trauma, unhealthy relationships (so many unhealthy relationships), smoking, dark contents, dark themes, vt2 au is always really dark so definitely proceed with caution !! dark portrayals of c!quackity, c!sam, c!wilbur, and c!dream

It starts, as many things do nowadays, with a board meeting - which seems to be as much of a sign as any that everything is going to go to shit. Board meetings for Quackity, much like Wilbur’s stupid group therapy sessions, are just a thinly veiled attempt for the two to fight for control of pretty much everything - ranging from the casino schedules to the laws still being written for Las Nevadas to what food to stock in the vending machines. As Sam is still sitting on his false throne of moral superiority and therefore less inclined to indulge himself in the same blatant corruption that characterizes their discussions, and Dream - more than anything - knows his place (which hardly gives him any position to wrangle for power among the likes of Wilbur and Quackity), the fights for control more or less remain restricted between the two. More often than not, they devolve into proving their superiority over the other by using their control of Dream (which naturally never means anything remotely good for him as a consequence) so when Quackity strolls over, all tight-lipped smiles and a cigarette held between clenched fingers, Dream really doesn’t feel anything other than dread.

Still, orders by Quackity are still orders - Dream knows this fact better than he knows that he’s alive and breathing, better than the fact that he’s out of the prison, better than he knows his own goddamn name - and Dream is far too well-trained to ever consider trying to rebel. So when the time comes - 7:30 pm, sharp - Dream is in his chair, spine straight and head alert like a goddamn dog, and he waits.

It doesn’t take long for the others to arrive. Sam comes over first, leveling him with a heavy, distrustful stare as he sits down in the chair across from Dream, the expression nearly enough for Dream to roll his eyes if it weren’t for the fear that rockets through him, still, at the sight of the Warden so close to him. Sam has made it more than clear from the very beginning that he has no trust at all for Dream, that if he had his way then Dream would be locked up for the rest of eternity in a labyrinth of blackstone and obsidian, forever guarded by his ever-present supervision. Dream feels his ears burning with heat as he dips his eyes low to the surface of the table, wanting no more than to curl up and hide under the scrutiny of the Warden’s glare.

Quackity enters next, throwing open the door of the conference room loud enough to make Dream jump out of his seat, looking at him with an upturned corner of his lip when he comes back to himself enough to notice. Dream stifles a shudder at his visible good mood, all-too-aware of what that usually meant for him in the cell, stiffening further with a growing ringing to his ears as Sam and Quackity talk and Quackity sweeps past his side to get to his seat at the head of the table, carelessly brushing his fingers along the back of Dream’s neck in a way that makes him freeze, stock-still, in his chair - feeling his fingertips ease themselves over the ridge present there from a thick band of scar tissue, a deep, jagged thing that had been carved from the blunter back edge of Quackity’s axe when he had lost his temper and let the thing slam against the back of his neck, hard enough that it probably would’ve paralyzed him completely if it weren’t for Sam’s use of almost a full chest of regens. Quackity remains over him for a few more seconds, leaning over his chair to talk to Sam as he runs a light, possessive hand over the topmost bumps of Dream’s spine, before settling over into his chair, watching him with a small smirk as he keeps a white-knuckled grip on the edge of the table.

Dream hates the prickling shame and terror that keeps his muscles tense as he stares at the table’s surface, still feeling the ghost of fingers tracing over skin and bone along the back of his neck, keeps his burning eyes trained on the surface of solid wood as he tries to steady his breaths. It’s all he can do to press down his flinch when Quackity, with a frustrated yell, slams his fist against the table a few minutes later, rage simmering underneath his words as he speaks.

“Where the hell is Wilbur?” His glare slides across the room, landing on Dream, making him shrink back in his seat, heart thudding in his ears. Quackity doesn’t stop staring at him even as he pulls a cigarette and lighter from his pants pocket, lighting it and bringing it to his lips and letting the silver-grey threads of smoke fill the room and press against the inside of Dream’s lungs. “It’s ten minutes til 8 - I don’t have time for this bullshit.”

Sam digs his fingers into his temples, already looking exhausted. “If you want, Q, we can always start without him and catch him up later. Depends on you.”

“No, then I’ll have to repeat myself and it’ll be pointless and ugh,” Quackity makes a vaguely frustrated noise as he finally turns his eyes over to Sam, making Dream’s shoulders shudder as he finally finds the air to take a breath, “We’ll just have to wait. Fucking idiot. I knew I shouldn’t have worked with any of these fuckers.”

In true Wilbur fashion, it isn’t until fifteen minutes later when the taller man finally makes an appearance, the entire time tense as hell as Quackity takes slow, steady drags of his cigarette and taps his fingers impatiently against the table’s surface. He offers one to Sam, who goes on to decline, making a short quip telling Quackity to watch his health for the future that promptly falls flat. Dream thinks he’s a fucking hypocrite, considering his whole deal with weednip or whatever Ant has on him, but doesn’t voice the thoughts as he sinks down in his chair, wishing more than anything to disappear. Against the fabric of his shirt, the right side of his chest itches, and he presses his palm against the place where he knows there is a small, irregular grid of pockmarked scars from when Quackity had taken smoke breaks in the middle of sessions.

“There you all are,” Wilbur smiles as he slides into the room, a covered metal tray held in his hands as he kicks the door closed and slides the tray onto the table with an awful screech. “I’m sorry for being late,” he continues, sounding not very sorry at all, “but I made some food to make up for it!”

He takes off the cover with a flourish; underneath, sunny yellow squares, nearly blindly bright, look up blankly under the conference room’s overly harsh lighting. They smell sugary and vaguely sour, stinging his nose slightly, and seem to be coated with a fine dusting of powdered sugar.

“Lemon bars!” Wilbur grins, just left of sincere, “they’re gluten-free!”

“God,” Quackity laughs, sounding slightly incredulous, shaking his head. Dream’s gut rolls at the sound, Wilbur’s smile growing wider, even more dangerous, at the tone. It’s familiar, the way the two of them challenge each other, and in a rare moment of solidarity Dream watches from the corner of his eyes as Sam’s shoulders hunch as well. The two of them always bring trouble, even normally, but when they’re in this mood? Actively challenging each other, toeing the line, trying to find the limits and push them just because they can? Dream shivers in his seat, grip tightening on his own arms; this, he knows, is when they are at their most dangerous - and he has the scars to prove it.

“Gluten-free, huh? Really leaning into the whole ‘PTA mom’ schtick today, aren’t you?” Quackity smirks. “Should I call you Linda from now on?”

“I don’t know, Quackity, I was just thinking that I would make a little healthier treat for all of us, you know?” Wilbur brushes off the remark easily, taking a seat and immediately kicking his feet up onto the table. “If you want it, of course. I would hardly want to get in the way of your professionalism, Mr. President- do you have one of those? Or are you going for a more authoritarian approach”

“Fighting words from someone who rigged an election as President,” Quackity drawls, “and couldn’t even win it, might I add. “

“Oh, Big Q! You fail to understand, I wasn’t criticizing you at all,” Wilbur smiles, jagged, “we agree, I believe, on the failures of democracy. Unless you’ve forgotten our conversation, already?”

“Of course not,” Quackity snorts, and Dream doesn’t miss how his gaze shifts towards the side of the room, landing on Dream and making him curl further in his seat. “I’ll save you from me trying to pick your brain, this time, but don’t worry. You make yourself…rather hard to forget.”

Wilbur claps, seeming satisfied with this round of verbal sparring, and the sharp sound of his hands meeting together nearly has Dream jumping in his seat. “So! Lemon bars- does anyone want any?”

Dream is keenly aware of two pairs of eyes landing on him, Wilbur and Quackity watching for his reaction with bated breath and narrowed eyes. Panic crawls up his throat; he knows the purpose behind their stares, knows that he’s once again become the object of one of their power struggles. Quackity’s orders rattle in his brain, his thoughts a messy jumble of pins all knocked loose from his time in the prison, hopelessly unorganized and running on little more than instinct. Wilbur is expecting him to eat, to give into his sweet pastries and sweeter words; the lesson not to eat, move, think without permission, hammered into him between chunks of potato and battered ribs and blood gathered in the crevices of his skin, keeps his hands at his sides instead of reaching towards the pastries still set in the middle of the table. Even with Quackity at the opposite side of the room, Dream swears that he can still feel the pressure of a hand against the back of his neck, pressing just hard enough to make itself known from the feeling of fingers pressing into either side of his spine - he doesn’t even quite feel himself shaking his head, only really realizes what he’s done when he hears Wilbur sigh in frustration and meets Quackity’s satisfied gaze.

“I’ll take one,” Sam says, sounding exhausted, eyes flitting from Wilbur to Quackity to Dream with an increasingly long-suffering expression. His face twists around the first bite of the bright yellow pastry, nose scrunching as he puts it down, missing a half-moon bite along one corner, and drags his fingers over the table to ease off the remnants of powdered sugar. Wilbur watches him, seeming amused, and Quackity rolls his eyes as he pulls a binder out of his inventory.

“Now that everyone is finally here,” he starts, directing a particularly dead-eyed stare at Wilbur, “we can finally get on with the meeting. I was thinking we could go over the budget, today, if that’s alright with the rest of you.”

It sounds innocent enough - which is the first sign of many that this meeting, whatever it is, is going to be anything but pleasant. The grin that steadily grows on Quackity’s face does nothing to assuage Dream’s anxieties, only pushing them higher as the man flips open the binder and messes with it for a few seconds longer before seemingly finding what he’s looking for.

“I think we all know that until Sam finishes with the bank, funds around here are going to be a little bit tight,” Quackity begins, waiting for all of them to nod before continuing, “And we really need to save wherever we can. I recounted the budget yesterday, just to make sure that we’re all on track, and- well,”

Quackity points to a circled series of red numbers that Dream doesn’t understand but can assume mean little good for them. Sam makes a low, considering noise, sounding strangely concerned, and Wilbur actually seems to close his mouth and lean forward in curiosity.

“We have a deficit,” Quackity continues when they’ve all settled back into their seats, “and we’ll get it all back once Sam gets the bank up and running, but for now our funds are...limited. I don’t want to stop progress on Las Nevadas, of course, we really don’t have time to waste. So I thought we’d have a meeting today to discuss the budget and eliminate any expenses that we might find-” Quackity gestures with a smooth twirl of his wrist, “expendable.”

Sam hums. “Do you have anything in mind, Quackity?”

“A few,” Quackity flips to the next page, where he’s seemingly jotted a few notes - different things that they can put off for the moment, it seems, and the money that would be saved for forgoing them temporarily. Dream reads down the list quickly, stilling at the last item.

“Quackity,” Sam sounds twenty times more tired already when he speaks, tone flat and a little irritated. “Why is Dream on the list?”

Quackity shrugs. “Hear me out, now- most of our money right now is going into living expenses for the four of us. Having more people here, until everything becomes more sustainable, is a huge drain on our resources. I’m just listing all our options.”

“So what do you want to do?” Sam huffs. “Throw him back in Pandora?”

Quackity shakes his head.

“Wilbur does have the revive book knowledge, you know,” he says, and Dream’s blood runs cold. He can’t run, can’t move; he’s stuck in his seat, heart hammering faster in his chest as the other three hardly spare him a second glance. Sam purses his lips, a considering expression flashing over his face, as Quackity presses on. “Seriously- listen, Sam. There’s nothing that Dream is really offering, at the moment, that the rest of us can’t handle. Wilbur has the revive book, you can act as security to take out any threats - really, we shouldn’t be pissing anyone off until everything officially opens, and we can always retrieve him then when we need him. He’ll be out of the way, which means he won’t be able to start any fucking trouble,” Quackity laughs, short. “It’s a win-win.”

“I don’t know, Quackity,” Sam says, the words slow, but the tone is familiar enough for Dream to know that he’s already mostly given in. “It’s a risk, isn’t it? None of us but Dream have really used the revive book, before.”

Wilbur doesn’t even look at him when he chirps a reply. “That won’t be a problem, Sam. I’d be very happy to test it out, if you want.”

Quackity leans forward, and Dream nearly gags; he’s preening in his spot, eyes dancing as he smiles up at Sam. “Anything else you can think of?”

“I don’t know,” Sam trails off, and Dream looks down, only barely staving off the panic squeezing around his lungs and tears burning in his eyes. It’s nothing he hasn’t envisioned before, nothing he hasn’t expected, but this- he feels like such a fool, for hoping- “If we get ambushed, Q, I really don’t know if gear is going to be enough. You remember what Technoblade did last time.”

Quackity huffs, sounding annoyed, but nods to concede the point. “That is...fair. But then again, we don’t exactly know how good Dream is either, do we?” Quackity finally leans over to look at him, and Dream feels himself choke on his own breath at the dangerous gleam in Quackity’s eyes, all-too-familiar in their scrutiny, looking at him the same way they had pinned him to the floor of his obsidian-walled hell. “Anything to say, Dream?”

“I-” The words shake on Dream’s tongue, and he only barely manages a dry swallow as he struggles through the rest of his sentence, shrinking back from the heavy weight of three pairs of eyes fixed on his own, “I can be useful, s-” he only barely manages to bite down the word, a new wave of shame making him shrink back further past the fear. Quackity’s lip twitches upward.

Wilbur twirls a pencil in one hand, looking spectacularly bored; Dream’s chest shrieks with a harsh spike of envy at his composure. “How about you prove it?” His eyes are laughing when Dream gets a good look at them, amusement clear at the idea. “Put on a show?”

Quackity rolls his eyes. “What do you have in mind?”

“You want to know if Sam can serve as an adequate replacement for Dream’s combat prowess, no?” Wilbur leans back in his chair as he talks, still focused on spinning his pencil over and between his fingers, “Why doesn’t he prove it? Let them duel, one on one. If Sam kills Dream, then you’re right, we’re done, and we can all move on with our days. If Dream wins, then he’s proved his worth, and we can figure out the rest of the budget after. What do you think?”

Quackity’s lips press together, seeming displeased, but he doesn’t say anything in return. Sam, ever practical, drums his fingers against the table.

“That sounds...fair,” Sam purses his lips. “How would we judge this? Equal gear?”

Wilbur only smiles wider as he shakes his head. “I was thinking we would make it a little more accurate to reality, if Dream’s services were truly to be needed. Sam, you can keep your own gear, and Dream should use his own. I guess on your end we can fight until you yield, but for him…”

The words are left unsaid, but Dream flexes his hands underneath the table as he catches onto the implications. For him, it’s a fight to the death.

Sam shrugs. “That works for me. Dream?”

He doesn’t really have a choice, does he? “Okay.”

“Wonderful!” Wilbur claps, bringing his hands to his chest and looking thoroughly thrilled at the prospects of the potential duel. Quackity glares at Dream but doesn’t say a word, and Dream hunches into himself, nearly folding himself in half as he ducks as far as he can down his seat. Sam pulls out his sword, flipping it around and testing its weight, and Dream doesn’t quite manage to suppress his full-body shudder at the sight. “Let’s get started, then.”

They move out in a roughly single-file line out of the conference room, Wilbur making idle chatter as Sam continues to examine his armor and weapons as they walk. They settle into an open space in the still-unfinished casino that Wilbur looks around for a second and then deems appropriate for the duel. Sam sets down an enderchest to gather his necessary materials, and Dream settles in front of it himself afterwards, shifting the lid open with shaking hands as he tries to work through his inventory.

He’s started the process of building up his gear again in his spare time, but he’s not had the time to finish gathering netherite for both himself and Wilbur - Wilbur meets his eyes with a sly wink before equipping the set of netherite armor that Dream had crafted for him, and Dream stifles a desperate snarl. He doesn’t even have the other set (still a gleaming blue from unplated diamond) enchanted, outside of a Sharpness book that he had slapped onto a diamond axe. He gathers the rest of his supplies with careful hands, trying to press down the increasing trembling of his limbs from his growing panic, flexing his arm around the weight of a shield once again and pocketing steaks and golden apples from his hoard.

He has no potions, no good weapons, not even a properly enchanted crossbow to offer the slightest bit of an advantage. Dream lets his eyes flick up to where Sam is waiting at the opposite side of the room, standing up straight with enchanted netherite covering him head to toe and a familiar axe slung over his shoulder, and tries not to break down right then and there. It’s too familiar, too reminiscent of obsidian walls and netherite pressed against his ribs and demands that he behave, and despite the glittering white walls and high ceiling and cold night air he swears he could fall just from the memories alone. Drowning within them, he distantly remembers a duel long-past under a bright blue sky, Sam laughing under a swirl of potion particles on the grass surrounding the Community House lake, and wonders which of the memories hurt more.

“Dream,” Quackity snaps, and Dream stills in his place, slamming the lid of the enderchest shut as his heart hammers in his ears. Quackity watches him intently, expression twisted in disappointment, and some beaten, instinctual part of him whines uncomfortably at the sight. “Hurry up.”

Dream nods, because of course he does, and stands with the results of his mad scramble to gather anything that could be useful in the duel to come - a few gapples, steaks, a sword, a bow lacking any enchantments at all, and an axe and shield. It’s a rather pathetic ensemble, but it’ll be enough. It’ll have to be enough.

“Ready?” Wilbur takes place as referee, standing off to the side with a smile on his face as Dream stands across from Sam, holding his axe with a white-knuckled grip as the Warden - expression unreadable through the shadow of his helmet and the mask fixed over his face - squares his own stance in preparation for the fight. “Good luck.”

Wilbur’s arm cuts a line in the air as it drops, and the Warden explodes into action, lumbering forward as he raises his axe over his head to bring it down. Dream tumbles in the opposite direction, letting a long held back, battle-trained part of himself take over as he rights himself back on his feet, swinging up his shield to catch on the downward arc of Warden’s Hammer, frantically pressing back the dregs of fear and panic staining the corners of his vision black as he moves.

The Warden hits slow but hits hard, too big and bulky to really avoid any quick attacks but too well-armored to be easily defeated despite that. He’s a classic tank - Dream skitters out of the way of another hit as he reaches for memories of him that won’t leave him gasping, information on his opponent that didn’t come from within the prison and all its horrors.

He’d dueled Sam before, he knows; it wasn’t the same, as Sam was trying out a Turtle Master potion and intent on proving the superiority of Resistance IV against Dream’s own combat prowess. He’d failed, then; Dream forcefully steadies another breath as the sound of the Warden’s armor clanking against the ground almost sends him into another panic. He’ll have to fail now, too.

Fortunately, he’s been allowed food to heal - without it, this fight would probably be near impossible. As it is, even without the potion, the principles of this duel are the same. Dream swings up his axe, catching the blade hurling towards him in the crook where the head meets the handle just long enough to pull himself out of the way and let the Warden’s weapon fall uselessly to the ground. Dream raises his head in the second he has, tracing his gaze over the Warden’s armor in search for places to exploit. Even the best defenses aren’t perfect. All he needs to do is survive for long enough to chip through it.

A fumbled dodge leads to the Warden’s blade skimming past his skin, carving a thin red line in the skin of his upper arm. He hisses as he dives out of the way of the next blow, the twinges of pain from the area almost enough to make his vision unfocused, almost enough to send him tumbling head-first into the part of him screaming submit submit submit if you don’t fight back they won’t hurt you more. He grits his teeth as he swings forward, knocking away the axe coming towards him with his axe long enough to push forward with his shield and knock the Warden further away from him. He can’t afford to flinch, can’t afford to let fear take control of his movements as it has so many times before. The keening desperation running through his veins is familiar, but desperation can fall both ways, can make him fight or flee - and there’s only one real option that will end with him getting out of this alive.

Dream stands and forces himself to meet the next swing hurling towards him dead on, raising his shield to catch the blade and pushing forward past the shuddering shock in his left arm from the force of the blow. His own blade arcs downward in the next second, scraping against the Warden’s netherite armor with a metallic screech. He manages to get in two more blows before the Warden’s next attack has him backing away to dodge, shaking off his arm to get his shield ready for the next attack.

He has to stay on the offensive, keep pressing the Warden back and forcing the other to play defense. He’s still weak from the prison; in terms of brute strength, he’s no match from the Warden, not after months of starvation and torture stuck in a box with hardly enough room to stretch his legs. All he really has going for him is his speed and his experience, neither of which will do him any good if he teeters over the edge into the panic attack he’s been trying to hold off the entire time. Dream runs forward, not giving himself more than a second to breathe as he rushes the Warden once again, switching weapons mid-leap to a sword that will allow for quicker blows in the time that he has the Warden off-balance enough to attack freely. He scores a series of glancing hits on the Warden, none doing any major damage but altogether enough to make the Warden back off, wary, with a gasping note of pain, and Dream shakes his head to force himself to focus before running forward once more.

The Warden pulls out a shield of his own, and Dream switches back to the axe and swings it squarely into the shield, then twists himself around to the Warden’s unprotected back to catch him with another heavy blow that leaves him reeling in the second he takes to recover. He’s clearly untrained with a shield, his left arm clumsy as he tries to block Dream’s blows, and Dream uses the opportunity to score another few solid hits to the Warden’s sides and legs, getting a good blow with the blunt side of his axe into the back of one of his knees, leaving the warden limping when he pulls away.

Dream has hardly come off unscathed in the fight - he wheezes out a heavy breath through his teeth, chest aching from a hit that had broken one of his ribs. The exertion and anxiety still pressing at the back of his throat has left him light-headed, and he bites through a crisp, almost sickeningly-sweet bite of golden apple to close a wound bleeding sluggishly on his side. Neither of them can go on for much longer; the Warden’s grip tightens on his axe, and Dream swallows past the shudder that arises from the sight.

Once again, he raises his axe and runs into the fight, parrying the coming strike and twisting out of the way to strike at a joint of the Warden’s armor with the flat of his blade. The Warden’s arm raises, and Dream bites off a yelp of alarm as the handle of his axe is levied against his unarmored side, knocking him off-balance and falling back onto the ground, too disoriented to catch himself. He lands on his left arm, and his vision goes white as it gives out with a sharp crack.

Through half-lidded eyes, he can make out the Warden stalking closer, axe raised and ready to end the fight - end him. His chest shakes in a pathetic wheeze for breath, arm completely useless from where it’s screaming in pain underneath him. He needs to move, now, if he wants to survive this - fear swells forward, unhindered as his focus is broken by the vice grip the pain has on his skull - he’s shaking, now, the terror so familiar he can taste it - salt and iron and sticky-sweet health potions against the backs of his teeth-

The Warden raises his axe.

No.

Dream raises his sword just in time to catch the blade hurtling towards his neck, uses his foot to kick against the Warden’s grip on the handle. The axe clatters out of his grip, falls forward - Dream rolls away, breathing harshly around the pain threatening to make him black out. Unarmed, the Warden takes a second to grab a sword from his inventory while Dream forces himself back to his feet and kicks the axe as far away as he can.

He’s so flooded with panic he’s choking on it, broken arm hanging limply by his side as he charges forward, sword in hand. He won’t die, not after all this time, not after all this effort - he throws himself at the Warden, batters him with jabs and thrusts that force the other man to back away and parry, snarling wordlessly as he brings his sword to slash forward again and again.

His attacks are messy, uncoordinated, but the Warden is tired and disoriented from the loss of his weapon - he flinches back as Dream hits him in the jaw with the hilt of his sword, only barely matching his blows as he continues to push forward. Any hits that he scores on Dream are brushed off with a growl of pain and his sword moving even faster in his fury, and it’s not very long at all before he’s knocked flat on his back with a sweep of Dream’s legs, gasping for air as Dream pins him to the ground with a blade pressed against his neck.

Dream meets his wide eyes with his own, lips curled back in the same desperate rage that had moved him forwards despite the black creeping into the corners of his eyes and the lancing pain tying its strings around his neck and leaving him gasping for air. The sword in his hand bears threads of blood along its edge, pressing deeper into the Warden’s neck and drawing crimson up to the surface - a thousand fearful, angry thoughts swell up to the front of his skull in a singular, white-hot point. It is the Warden underneath his feet, at the end of his blade, cowering beneath him as he had cowered before - the Warden, the cause of his pain, the reason behind the ache in his gut and the stinging pains in his limbs and the piercing agony from his arm and chest. It would be so easy to push just a little harder, to press the sweet blue blade down and down and down until the Warden is gone and the Warden is dead and the Warden can’t hurt him anymore-

“Down, Dream,” Quackity snaps, and Dream backs off immediately, losing his grip on his sword as the command has him dragged back by the neck like an invisible leash and collar pulling him away. Sam settles back in a sitting position, still wide-eyed, wincing as he moves and bringing a golden apple from his inventory to heal the worst of his injuries.

“Eat,” Quackity commands again, and Dream only barely manages a stiff nod through the nausea and dread curling around his chest as the adrenaline begins to fade away, fumbling with the golden apple he finds in his inventory and nibbling at it to tide off the worst of the pain.

“Bravo, bravo,” Wilbur grins from the side, clapping slowly as he walks back into the middle of their makeshift arena - he’s taken his armor off again, but it doesn’t make the sight of him any less intimidating. “What a show! We should do that more often, what do you think?”

No, Dream almost screams, I can’t- but Quackity beats him to it, glaring at Wilbur with an incredulous expression.

“We don’t have the time to waste on your fucking ‘shows,’” he snaps, crossing his arms as he swings his gaze over to Dream. “Fine. You’ve proved yourself. Now hurry up - we have to clean up all of this shit and then figure out the rest of this fucking budget.”

Dream pulls himself to his feet, watching from the side as the Warden does the same.

“Make yourself useful and clean off all your fucking blood from the floor,” Quackity meets his eyes with a vicious glare, waiting until he stammers his way through an agreement before turning to the other two in the room. “Sam, Wilbur - with me. I want to get this money issue figured out tonight.”

Dream watches them go as he shuffles to the cleaning closet, feeling a shudder crawl up his spine once they’re out of sight. Make yourself useful, Quackity’s voice rings in his head, and Dream bites his lip, only stopping when he accidentally breaks through skin and the taste of blood floods his tongue.

He has a feeling that those words are going to haunt him for a long, long time.

#tw torture #tw abuse #tw death #tw violence #tw blood #tw injuries #tw conditioning #tw dehumanization #tw panic attack #tw emotional distress #tw trauma #tw unhealthy relationship #tw smoking #tw dark content #tw dark themes #prison arc #pandora's vault #my writing :D #> my writing #my asks !! #> my asks #> vegas team au 2.0 #🐇 anon