#I HAD to see the state of the phandom right now

[dans-striped-sweater]

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING?????

#Dan and phil #surprise bitch I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me #I HAD to see the state of the phandom right now #what are they UP to???? #YOU CANT JUST DROP THAT AND DIP

[ace-s-fav-dp-posts]

If you're sick of the current popular trope/story prompt in the Phandom or DPxDC fandom you just need to ignore it

I feel like the fans in the Phandom and DPxDC minifandom that's popped up, who are really grossed/creeped out by the genre of fic popular right now.

Where the set up is some variation of Outsider POV and the plot is based around the assumption that Vlad SAed Danny in order to create Dan and Danielle, are people who haven't been around that long.

Especially when they try to whine about none of it being based in canon. And how they don't like the shipping of Vlad and Danny (even though the people who write these kinds of fics are very obviously not shipping Vlad and Danny in them).

Because the Phandom has historically gone through phases much more gruesome and horrifying than that.

Especially when in this current micro-genre, all of the SA and grooming and other kinds of abuse are implied only, and within the fics themselves the assumed abuse never actually happened. As the plot is based on over heard or misinterpreted fragments of information that doesn't give the POV character the full picture of the situation that's actually going on.

There's the infamous vivisection fics, in which the child main character is brutally cut open and tortured by his own parents in the name of their biased views of science. Who in canon, both happily accept him no matter what every time a reveal is happens and never so much as rejects Danny emotionally.

Then there's the variation on the traditional vivisection fic in which Danny isn't emotionally rejected and stripped of his humanity by his own parents. But instead captured and stripped of his human rights by the government, either by his parents unknowing actions which they stay oblivious to. Or in spite of his parent's acceptance of him, and with them helpless to rescue or protect him from the government's torturous "research".

There's the already existing variation of grooming and SA fics, where Vlad grooms and or assaults Danny. Which have been popping up for years now, but in which all of this type of horrible abuse actually happens in the story, instead of it being an Outside POV misunderstanding what's happen like the current micro genre of fic.

There's the fics where the Fentons have just been abusive or just negligent parents Danny and Jazz's entire lives. And them hurting Danny, emotionally or physically, intentionally or accidentally, is just an extension of their already unacceptable parenting habits.

There's the edritch/body horror genre of fics where becoming half-ghost (or sometimes something else) involves at the very least the partial loss of Danny (or Vlad)'s humanity.

Hell there's one fic that's stuck with me for ages, that I read years ago, back in my teens, written from the POV of a Maddie who murdered Danny to prevent him from becoming Dan. Which is stated in that fic to be inevitable.

It's also heavily implied that Maddie had incestuous feelings for Danny the entire fic. And that she also possibly raped him in the midst of her extremely violent* vivisection murder of him. But that if she didn't rape him, at the very least, ripping him open to see his insides while he was awake and struggling got her off anyways.

So yeah, I don't know what other explanation there is to all these people who seem confused and freaked out by the various fics popping up where there's assumed SA/grooming, but actually nothing outside of canon actually happened to Danny, and the whole thing is just a misunderstanding.

Other than them being extremely new to Danny Phantom fics in general and therefore unaware of just how dark (and potentially triggering) they can be.

When there's been fics for years about SA and grooming, some of which is explicit, some of which is all implied and talked around and just as gut wrenching, and some of which is actually painted in that cringe forbidden love sort of way, for more than a literal decade now.

If you don't like it, if it makes you uncomfortable, you're just going to have to ignore or block those people, like everyone else in the Phandom who feels the way you do has done for more than a decade now.

Don't make comments to those authors that you don't like that trope, or that it makes you uncomfortable, or anything similar. Just ignore them or block them if it really bothers you that much. Because if you don't like their stuff, then rather obviously you are not their intended audience, so you need to ignore their posts and fics and keep scrolling if you're not going to block them.

*Also yes I must state it was a violent vivisection murder. Because it is clearly stated in the fic, that Vlad finds Maddie sitting outside on the porch covered in Danny's blood and viscera, and that the room she killed him in is in a similar state.

I wanna say the fic got deleted during the old Fanfiction.net purge of more adult content, even though all of the sexual abuse/incest parts of the fic where all implied and not explicit, along with the violent vivisectoin murder taking place off screen.

Though I could be wrong, and it's still out there somewhere, and possibly not exactly as I remember it. I read it more than 5 years ago now, so there's almost certainly some memory drift by this point.

#danny phantom #feeling sick of seeing all these people complaining about the current popular trope in the phandom #this goes for all the various trending tropes that pop up by the way #not just the current dpxdc SA misunderstanding trope that's popular right now #I feel the same way about people who complained about the various de-aging adoption fics that were crazy popular a while ago too #and complained about Little Baby Man fics before that #phandom has trending tropes they all pass with time #if you don't like the trending trope then you just need to avoid it #or the whole phandom for a while if it really bothers you to the point of ruining your fandom experience #like they only tend to last a couple weeks to a couple months at most #I've seen some explode and then fade out within as little as like 3 days #I've seen fast fashion trends with more staying power than some of the tropes that seem to blow up in the Phandom

[goldenpinof]

Ngl I'm kind of scared of the idea of DINOK actually being made into a show. Do you think it would be profitable or even break even? I can't see it attracting a lot of mainstream attention and Dan's/DnP's core audience is not as big as it once was

i'll repeat myself here and say that it all depends on a platform and marketing. marketing can save dinok. but it can also kill it. like, single-handedly. mainstream attention depends on marketing on different platforms (huge budget). audience's attention depends on Dan talking to us on his platforms, consistently (no budget, just time). i'm sure with dinok Dan would be shooting for people outside the phandom, and that makes sense. it just needs to be done correctly, and not at the cost of his main audience.

my selfish ass wants Dan to make something out of it, just to see what he wants to tell us. the AU he created in his head. but, i don't need a show for that, i'd be happy to just read the script. if making a show costs too much money and is too risky, just sell the script. i don't want it to go to waste. it's a huge amount of work, and it would be sad if it never sees the light of day.

wad marketing in relation to dinok under the cut (too much yapping for free)

look at wad as an example. now, it's so clear that their initial strategy was experimental and didn't work, so they changed it halfway through. they also kinda dropped the promo by the European leg and just stopped updating banners in time, and overall started panicking. Dan's attitude and the main message in promo materials were all over the place, with him trying to target the general audience and the locals, meanwhile sometimes talking in riddles, and talking to us (phannies) only in liveshows at the start of each leg. and then the European leg didn't even have that. (i'm simplifying here a lot, i'm just trying to show a general picture). dd, despite having a good concept, failed to gain an audience and make people buy tickets to the show. there was a connection between dd and wad but it wasn't strong enough, and the vibes were a bit different, so it was also confusing people. dd t-shirt had a better promo in that one dd episode than the majority of wad promo clips. you know why? because it was genuine. he was whining about money and it was clear that he hated doing that bit but ffs, it was entertaining. Dan is not bad at promotion, he just needs someone to navigate his negative energy in the right direction. 90% of wad marketing was BORING as fuck. and there was not enough of it in general. wrong platforms, no consistency, boring recycled ideas (remember his clip with the US states? they did the same for ii but in a youtube video. which worked so much better not only because it was "Dan and Phil" but also because it was filmed better, the platform was bigger, and they didn't take it seriously. promoting on your main platform always wins over facebook/instagram/tiktok ads. also, we could engage with a youtube video. that's like a free promo within the phandom. geography can be FUN. wad geography wasn't). promotion doesn't have to be boring. Barbenheimer and Miley and Selena's cross-promotions showed it so clearly. fandoms love this shit, and Dan knows enough youtubers to pull this off. even if not cross-promotion tactics, there are ways to present something in a fun way. make something memeable (he tried in the beginning, but a white board wasn't the most fun tbh), make a promo we could engage with.

thank fuck they bought youtube ads for wad premiere. still fucking up with banners and editing though. and Dan still doesn't talk to his audience to make them buy tickets. like, he is trying, they have bullet points (half of them are coming out from Phil's mouth btw). but Dan making "crying" faces and pleading could be turned into "reasons why i want you to see this show". he wants to cry about how hard it was to make this show happen? about these 2 years of ups and downs? FINE. do it, talk to us, don't brush over the logistics, tell us how proud you are of finally filming the show. tell us why it's so important to you and why you want more people to see it. (Anthony's interview as an example, but make it deeper and without Anthony)

don't make me write a marketing strategy for wad premiere, no one wants that. but omg, it's his child and he doesn't know how to present it to the world. he presented dinok better by making "why i quit youtube". what i'm trying to say is that complaining works. sharing your struggles works. if he is so proud of this show he needs to tell his audience, that didn't see the show, what is it so amazing, brilliant, unique, important and wonderful about it. showing Dan on stage with a microphone isn't enough. it's pretty, but it's boring (i'm still waiting for a full promo clip to drop before Feb 25th). preshow and after-party are good selling points, but it shouldn't be the main thing. Dan is using Phil to sell wad, finally. don't get me wrong, i'm obsessed with it. he should use Phil, and only because of Phil more people are gonna see the show. but now it looks like Dan and Phil brand took the lead and wad is just a passenger. and as someone who witnessed all the stages wad went through to get to February 25th, i want the show itself to shine. it should be the main character, not the after-show or the carpet. how? Dan should talk more about things related to the show. he can go around NDAs, it's his show, his company. just don't drop names and certain numbers.

i need to stop. enough of free promo.

#answered #wad premiere #wad #dan is not okay #we're all doomed #any mistakes are here to stay

[chimaeray]

String of thoughts (primarily) about Johnny 13 and Shadow

So what’re some of the phandom’s thoughts on Johnny 13 and Shadow, anyway? I know he’s not one of the more popular members of Danny’s rogues gallery, but I sure am thinking about him right now.

I know a fairly popular theory (or at least, one I see frequently) is that Kitty and Johnny died together, likely in a car/motorcycle accident, but that leaves me wondering what Shadow is and how it ended up being attached to Johnny.

We know from the show that Shadow is either the source of or apart of Johnny’s powers, but even without Shadow nearby let alone attached to him he can still do normal ghostly things like going invisible/intangible and flying (though he still prefers his bike over regular flight anyway). They still seem to be individuals, Shadow has its own personality and doesn’t seem affected by the damage that made Johnny age in the TUE universe. Similarly, Johnny doesn’t seem too affected by Shadow getting wiped out and needing to recover unless it’s been completely dispersed like at the end of 13. And, of course, Johnny and Shadow can merge to work together as one unit, instead of two separate entities.

For some reason, Johnny doesn’t have a lot of abilities. Maybe it’s because his reason for even becoming a ghost was how harsh and sudden it was, his love for Kitty, and a desire to keep living all wrapped up into one messy reason to reform. He‘s more human than a lot of other ghosts we see, from his color palette to his ability to blend in pretty easily with human society until he chooses to reveal himself. I find his color palette the most notable, since the most inhuman elements of his design is how desaturated his skin tone is and the bright green eyes. But in comparison to other ghosts, he’s very human. His skintone that’s desaturated next to the living is still much closer than anything blue, green, or white like we frequently see in other humanoid ghosts. Kitty’s design is far more ghostly, with her green hair and skin with red eyes.

If they hadn’t died together at the same time (and became quite literal soulmates) it makes me wonder if Johnny wouldn’t have had the ability to become a ghost on his own. Or if he did, he might’ve struggled to survive. Kitty has a pretty strong ability with her banishing kiss. I am very curious about her ability to attach herself to her clothes even when in a weakened state, and if that’s a unique ability or not. Kitty acts more like a malicious entity in the series as well, she uses her kiss ability without restraint, and she’s only acted nicely to Danny when she overshadowed Paulina (which quickly stopped once she was found out) and the winter truce. Johnny, however, has a more casual personality. He acts more friendly to Danny after Lucky in Love, and doesn’t really have big aspirations for Earth or intent to cause destruction like other ghosts in the series do. Even Kitty takes over Amity briefly, with Spectra and Ember.

Johnny mostly seems to relish in his time to work on and ride his bike, admire pretty girls, and be with Kitty (when they’re not fighting). His laissez-faire attitude is very uncommon from other ghosts in the series, and I wonder about its long-term sustainability for a ghost, especially as phandom has largely categorized them. If he fell into a form of depression, it could make him fade fairly easily, as he seems to hold onto his relationship with Kitty and his ability to act freely. If his obsession is related to freedom or, (even more vaguely) experiencing life, but he’s also surviving by his attachment to Kitty, he could have a shakier existence. I also think he might be a weaker ghost, comparatively, because he’s the only ghost that really shows age in TUE. He’s noticeably older, balding pretty severely, like he’s closer to being in his late 30s-40s in appearance. Ember and Kitty still seem pretty young, maybe late 20s or early 30s, and I wonder if he’s aging more quickly because of an actual age gap they had in life or the severity of Dan’s attack making the damage to his stability much worse. This also connects back to Shadow and Johnny being separate entities, as Shadow seems largely unaffected.

Now the thoughts I had that made me intrigued about Shadow’s existence were some theories about how blob ghosts work, like they’re child ghosts or very simple ghosts without a lot of strength or identity yet. As well as some ghosts (or maybe other entities) like Cujo that get attached to things or people.

Those things made me think up two ideas about what Shadow is and why it’s attached to Johnny.

One being, after Johnny and Kitty’s arrival in the ghost zone, a simplistic blob archetype ghost takes an interest in them. Johnny’s penchant for bad luck is at least a source of entertainment for the blob, if not a form of food for it/it’s obsession/what have you. It could have either been a typical blob that acquires its obsession through this, or maybe a partially-formed or different... species(?) of blob that already knew it had an affinity for “bad luck” or sabotage/destruction. It functionally acts like something between a duckling and mutualistic or commensalistic symbiosis, where it’s sort of imprinted on Johnny and lends him its power in exchange for more opportunities to feed its own obsession, but in order to do so it has to have some form of attachment directly to him--like taking over his shadow, or maybe feeding off of Johnny’s energy or natural bad luck when it isn’t creating its own.

Another idea I had was related to Shadow’s actual function, as a cause of bad luck. It targeted Tucker at least once in 13, but largely caused a reputation for bad luck by happenstance. If it happened to target Johnny at some time in the past, or just selected an area and kept causing Johnny’s trouble with luck in its desire to create chaos, I wonder if it could’ve been related to or even caused the potential accident that ended up killing Johnny and Kitty. In that case, maybe it ended up attached to Johnny through that direct contact while they reformed into ghosts. If it’s closer to a force of nature, it would be hard to really control unless it wasn’t able to escape, or for some reason didn’t want to.

#johnny 13 #shadow dp #danny phantom #danny phandom #phandom #this has been sitting in my drafts for a while #and i can NOT remember what the rest of my thoughts were #i know i wasnt done and i wanted to refine parts of my Weird Thoughts #but I got nothin! error 404 thought process not found #anyway happy dannymay I will release this to the wild. enjoy

[haloburns]

ectoblastfromthepast fanfic review 2022

oh man this was a big writing year. i published more than double what the last eight years on ao3, and i've written probably about an extra 100k that i haven't/cant be published yet. dove into two big phandom events this year (phic phight and invisobang) and wrote almost 90k for each. got burnt out from those and struggled to finish the year strong, but was able to post some stuff in december anyway!

Fic Count: 42 new, 1 carried over Overall Word Count: 369,436 Fandoms: Danny Phantom, Wynonna Earp and Charmed (crossovers with DP), Percy Jackson, and Bones

1. totally worth it

Fandom: Percy Jackson Pairing: Percy/Annabeth (Percabeth) Rating: G Total Word Count: 171 words Completion Date: 03-09-2022 Notes: I wrote this when i was working on fluff practice for ghost light, and a friend of mine asked for this. first and only PJO fic so far, but it's cute and dumb and i like it a lot. this is the shortest thing i wrote this year!

2. it never hurt like this before (and now it's too late to lie)

Fandom: Bones (2005) Pairing: Temperance Brennan & Angela Montenegro Rating: G Total Word Count: 862 words Completion Date: 03-07-2022 Notes: Also a first and only for this fandom. Rewatched the show, and there's an episode where Bones, the MC, sees too much of herself in their case and it kinda fucks her up. She tells her partner, Booth, she loves him. But he's already in a relationship, so he gently turns her down. the episode ends with her leaving and crying, and i wanted her to have some catharsis. the idea stuck with me and i wrote it pretty much in one sitting.

Danny Phantom Works (under the cut because... well... y'all know lmao)

3. when you sneeze so hard you accidentally half-die in front of your boyfriend for the first time

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar (OC) Rating: G Total Word Count: 297 words Completion Date: 05-02-2022 Notes: I was in the midst of allergy season and i was very angry abt it so i took it out on my blorbos lmao my original end fic note: "but no literally im posting this waiting on my inhaler for my allergies by my entire state is trying to kill me. fuck kentucky, fuck maple trees in particular, and fuck myalgic encephalomyelitis 😭 there's so much pollen on my car 😭😭😭"

4. something's not quite right...

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 501 words Completion Date: 10-04-2022 Notes: This is an Ectober prompt fill, and it fills in a chronological gap leading up to my invisobang. I had a lot of fun writing CW's pov and in present tense, something i don't do often.

5. second death by allergy attack

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 1,024 words Completion Date: 10-22-2022 Notes: I promise i wasn't still having allergy issues by this point lmao this is an ancient wip i had that i started back in my early fandom days but never finished. the idea is gone, my notes are incomprehensible, so i cleaned it up and posted what i had! it's a non-au work, one of very few i posted this year

6. sin fransisco (dp x charmed)

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: Teen Total Word Count: 1,107 words Completion Date: Started 06-17-2022, WIP Notes: This fic I started bc I'd been toying with a Charmed/AU crossover for a while (still angling for a buffy one...) and the Charmed episode of the same title proved the perfect opportunity. had to figure shit out and it's been stalled in limbo as more important/deadline sensitive fics came to the forefront. I have another 2k written, but it's not ready for publishing

7. teach me how to fight

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: Teen Total Word Count: 1,206 words Completion Date: 10-05-2022 Notes: Another Ectober prompt fill, this one is a really cute fighting practice between Danny and Teo after the events of Invisobang. Surprisingly stayed very SFW, even though this could easily stray into NSFW territory lmao

8. love at first fight

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom (Pitch Pearl) Rating: G Total Word Count: 1,244 words Completion Date: 09-21-2022 Notes: This is a pitch pearl coffee shop enemies to lovers au that i started with Trance and Emeralds it has been SO MUCH FUN. i love this fic. this is the meet cute in the Perky Beans Cafe AU

9. the last night of sadness (it was clear he couldn't go on)

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 1,441 words Completion Date: 10-06-2022 Notes: JOAN MY BELOVED i wrote this fic for Ectober, it's an outsider POV for my invisobang with an OC i created. she's a medium that isn't aware of that, and she and danny become friends later on. it's very good and emotional, and the writing style was a lot more fun to mess around with in something that wasn't majorly important to the AU but still fun to write

10. one... two... wait, how many are there?

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: G Total Word Count: 1,608 words Completion Date: 04-30-2022 Notes: PHIC PHIGHT BABEY. i woke up on the last day of phight with this idea in my head. it's little, and it's mostly just filler in around the series, but i love it so much. dan is babey

11. walk the white line at midnight (dp x wynonna earp)

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom (Pitch Pearl) Rating: G Total Word Count: 1,667 words Completion Date: 09-10-2022 Notes: another pitch pearl fic based on my favorite other show wynonna earp. danny is wynonna, and phantom is doc holliday. i want to do more with this au but it takes time to translate it and mix the two

12. you’re the best thing to happen to me

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: G Total Word Count: 1,780 words Completion Date: 11-22-2022 Notes: i wrote this as a tumblr prompt i think a year before i published this as fluff practice. then i realized i could actually make it fit properly in the au and brushed it off and dusted it up so it was suitable for the AU. it's very cute

13. hold onto me

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: G Total Word Count: 1,793 words Completion Date: 10-02-2022 Notes: this is a shiptember prompt and it was basically an excuse to write danny taking care of mateo. i write a lot of mateo taking care of danny, and i decided it was time to turn the tables.

14. with every sin, i still wanna be holy

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 1,926 words Completion Date: 12-16-2022 Notes: This one is a set of notes, no actual prose, that Dan sends to the people he wants to make amends to. It also has pictures on the notes that I've drawn in addition to the writing

15. by all means i'm gettin' mad (that don't mean i don't feel sorry for you)

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 2,288 words Completion Date: 10-10-2022 Notes: Another Dan fic, where Danny goes to talk to him about his sentence post-invisobang, and the tenuous relationship they start to build. I loved writing this one, I love Dan 💖

16. feed the boy (like and subscribe!)

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 2,663 words Completion Date: 04-21-2022 Notes: Phic Phight! Danny has to eat fear, and they find a fun way to do it. Involves pranking Wes and teenage shenanigans, which are always the best

17. my resistance was once much stronger (i can't go on like this much longer)

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: G Total Word Count: 2,694 words Completion Date: Started 10-23-2022, WIP Notes: this is one of the last pieces for the "this is the road to ruin" arc, the last big one. i'm very very excited to finish this

18. heaven's grief brings hell's reign

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo AguilarRating: T (eventually E) Total Word Count: 2,860 words Completion Date: Started 09-25-2022, WIP Notes: This fic has been fighting me forever, I wanted to finish it before the year was up but I did not. It's the smut. Soft smut is not my forte apparently

19. see the lightning in your eyes

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 2,964 words Completion Date: 04-27-2022 Notes: a phic phight prompt i LOVE. lost time my beloved 💖

20. you better promise me i'll be back in time

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 2,990 words Completion Date: Started 04-27-2022, WIP Notes: another phic phight, and this is one i'm so eager to continue. i've started chapter two, i just haven't finished it yet!

21. morning adrenaline rush

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 3,397 words Completion Date: 09-05-2022 Notes: A continuation of "i'm not okay (i promise)" that didn't fit in the story but I wanted to tell so badly

22. i tried hard to make it inside your arms alive

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 4,050 words Completion Date: 10-14-2022 Notes: ohhhhhh this one is so good. it's mateo's pov of what happens in "this is the road to ruin" at the end and... man. it's hard. it's very emo and i love it. good angst.

23. does anyone in this house knock?!

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 4,156 words Completion Date: 04-21-2022 Notes: a lovely Good Fenton Parents fic post-reveal from Phic Phight. i love this fic so much. the first one is soft and sad and sweet, and the second one is funny and sweet

24. new kinds of firsts

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 4,387 words Completion Date: 09-27-2022 Notes: Writing Danny and Mateo's first date after everything theyve been through was so much fucking fun. They're so cute and stupid, i love them

25. decaf to fenton, we have a problem

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: G Total Word Count: 4,599 words Completion Date: 04-30-2022 Notes: I recently reread this fic from Phight and oh man. oh man it's good. and so funny.

26. sore loser

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: E Total Word Count: 5,024 words Completion Date: 09-30-2022 Notes: this is purely indulgent smut with zero plot whatsoever. i'm very proud of it. it's the first kinky thing i've posted which took a lot of courage. i worked on it for months before finally posting

27. four years, that's all you've got to endure

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 5,118 words Completion Date: 02-12-2022 Notes: Swore to the gods I wrote this in 2021... turns out i did not! i want to do more high school shenanigans with danny and the gang, but i gotta think up some first...

28. slip through my fingers

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom (Pitch Pearl) Rating: G Total Word Count: 6,356 words Completion Date: 11-20-2022 Notes: part three of the coffee shop au!! i love this one so much. the chase??? gods, i love that trope. i really need to finish the next part of this...

29. a christmas surprise

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 6,447 words Completion Date: Started 12-26-2022, WIPNotes: I am literally the worst at finishing holiday fics on time. a hallmark ghost light au i have YET to complete.

30. in the shadow of your heart

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 6,609 words Completion Date: Started 06-18-2022, WIP Notes: This is a self-indulgent Atlantis au i have also yet to finish. me?? starting fics i never finish??? neverrrr

31. when the nightmare fades

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T 2022 Word Count: 6,105 words Total Word Count: 7,014 words Completion Date: 05-26-2022 Notes: I started this way back in like. november of '21, when i started the series. but it took me six more months for canon to catch up so i could finish it. and the last three chapters changed so drastically from beginning to end... man. it feels like it took forever, but i really only took six months??? wild

32. longer than the song of the whippoorwill

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: E Total Word Count: 7,244 words Completion Date: 07-27-2022 Notes: this is the first smut of the series!! my favorite bookmark comment on the series actually relates to this one. its something like "the tags say there is pornfic. i do not see it. maybe ao3 is bugging. EDIT 7/27: FOUND IT!" it cracks me up every time. do they enjoy the pornfic or are they enraged??? i will never know also it's got actual plot in it so i was more comfortable posting it first than say... sore loser that has 0 plot and is literally just smutty

33. nine and a half lives

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: G Total Word Count: 8,804 words Completion Date: 04-18-2022 Notes: THIS IS MY FAVORITE PHIC PHIGHT PROMPT EVER. KITTEN!DANNY. WHOEVER CAME UP WITH THAT (wait i thInk it was catmiint. my beloved.) IS THE BEST. IT ALSO HAS DOOFENSCHMIRTZ IN IT BECAUSE I COULDNT HELP MYSELF (yes u read that correctly. THAT doofenschmirtz)

34. against doctor's orders

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 9,976 words Completion Date: 07-14-2022 Notes: I also really love this one. kinda plot-adjacent but mostly Relationship Stuff, talking and smooching. it's great. i get to flesh out my other OCs too which is fun

35. i fought you for so long (i should have let you in)

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Valerie Gray Rating: G Total Word Count: 11,740 words Completion Date: 04-07-2022 Notes: What's this?! a gray ghost fic?! yeah, its a phic phight prompt and i love it. its got some great textures, and it was a lot of fun to write in val's pov for a little bit

36. such a big, big world (and only the tools to deal with a tiny portion of it)

Pairing: None (hints at Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: G Total Word Count: 11,809 words Completion Date: 04-30-2022 Notes: big thanks to bib again for this title, it's literally one of my favorites. this whole thing is great, it's mostly the OCs talking about danny and his weirdness in the early school months. did i use phic phight to flesh out my au a little more?? yes, yes i did (and i'm sure annoyed people endlessly. oh well.)

37. hey, dad, look at me, did i grow up according to plan?

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 11,847 words Completion Date: 04-18-2022 Notes: good (learning) parents fenton!! this follows immediately after my version of phantom planet where danny only reveals himself to his parents, and this is their reactions. the kitchen chapter is my favorite.

38. wait til the day you finally see (i've been here waiting patiently)

Pairing: Danny Fenton/OC Tony, Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 11,958 words Completion Date: 10-23-2022 Notes: *vibrates out of my chair* this one is a whim fic (yes almost all 12k) bc of a weird throwaway line in an earlier fic and i couldnt help but make mateo a little jealous of tony. and then proceed to write 12, angsty, angsty k about it. that last chapter is so fucking good, yall can thank dream_trance for that one. its one of his ideas given extra spicy life

39. and they were history project partners

Pairing: None Rating: G Total Word Count: 17,278 words Completion Date: 04-30-2022 Notes: (i finished so many phics 4-30...) Dunno what it was about phic phight but I think i wrote two wes-related fics??? i either wrote Srs fics or Meme Fics, it seems. (wes is always a meme) but this one is one of my best. i also have a UFS version planned for. eventually. maybe.

40. quit telling everyone i'm (permanently) dead!

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: M Total Word Count: 23,607 words Completion Date: Started , WIP Notes: I AM SO MAD I DIDN'T FINISH THIS ONE BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR. listen. i worked my ass off. but then the boys decided on drama, and then i went back to work.... i'm almost done though. only an extra 6k hanging around........ :sob:

41. it's just another day without you (and i can't sleep)

Pairing: eventual Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 37,175 words Completion Date: 01-29-2022 Notes: i'm SUPER proud of this one, especially because i fucked around with narrative stuff, but i think its too subtle to be noticeable... still love it tho.

42. i'm not okay (i promise)

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: T Total Word Count: 38,838 words Completion Date: 05-08-2022 Notes: another proud baby. the culmination (kind of) of months of planning and many, many rewrites. i think i was working on this one in tandem with phic phight, actually...

43. this is the road to ruin (and we started at the end)

Pairing: Danny Fenton/Mateo Aguilar Rating: M Total Word Count: 88,917 words Completion Date: Notes: …my four biggest works can literally be summed up "i cause danny and mateo excessive amounts of angst and pain for fun." MY INVISOBANG. MY BELOVED. LOOK AT IT. I SPENT ALMOST NINE MONTHS ON THIS FUCKER. IT IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN. I CAN SCREAM ABOUT THIS FOREVER. LOOK AT THAT WORD COUNT. literally one of the first fics i thought of for the au, and i posted it over a year later. (got the idea in sept. '21, i finished publishing like... two days shy of an exact year.)

Man... this last year was a WILD writing year. and this is just what i published. y'all should see my wips.

#danny phantom #fanfic review 2022 #fanfic review #kind of an ask/tag game but not really #yes it took me three days to do this LEAVE ME ALONE

[halfagone]

Danny's Obsession

I should really be studying right now, or working on some of my fics, but Danny Phantom has gripped my mind and it is NOT planning on subsiding any time soon, so I need to get it off my chest.

Imagine if Danny's Obsession is Never Changing.

Let me explain:

I love the Phandom's headcanons for Danny's obsession, especially the Protection ones, because those are always so *chef's kiss* but lately I've been thinking about where Danny's head might have been at, especially right after his accident. Plus, what little he knows about ghosts at this point in time.

His parents HATES ghosts. We know that. This is fact. They talk about how they plan on ripping apart Phantom molecule by molecule. But at the very beginning, when Danny is still freshly half-dead, what does he know about ghosts? Well, whatever his parents have told him about them since he was little. Which is... not the most accurate of information, as well all know.

So here's Danny, freshly half-dead, trying to understand what just happened to him, trying to figure out how to get his new powers under wraps (this is before he becomes a hero after defeating the Lunch Lady, of course). He doesn't know what he is, all he knows is that he's not the same anymore. And for a kid who's been told that ghosts are horrible monsters since he was a child, how do you think he would cope with that? Personally, I would try to convince myself that there's nothing wrong me, really. Nothing has changed. It was just a little zap, sure it was really fricking painful, but nothing he can't deal with, y'know? These powers are just from ectocontamination, they'll go away eventually.

But they don't.

And now his parents' equipment keeps on going off around him. And his powers aren't just not going away, but he's getting more of them. And his new life as a secret superhero keeps on getting in the way of his civilian one, and as much as he wants to pretend that everything was the same as before, he can't ignore the people who need help or protection because he's a good kid.

And then he meets Vlad, whose ghost form looks nothing like his human one even if he's just as annoying. But that's easy to write off because Vlad is Vlad, he's an annoying, crazy Froot Loop, he probably just looks that way because he's dramatic af.

And then The Ultimate Enemy happens. And Dan happens. And he can't recognize what his future self has become even though he recognizes himself. That's his hair, his hazmat suit (if modified as he grew up), his memories, his powers.

Danny changed, and he didn't like the person he'd become. But how much of that is Vlad and how much of that is Danny? Can he really blame all of that on Vlad and his influence?

And, depending on the fic and the writer's personal headcanons, Pariah Dark could have been a good king once upon a time. But then, of course, he became too dangerous and they had to lock him away. And, again, if the writer so wishes, and Danny is supposed to become the next Ghost King, how do you think he would react in that situation?

Well, I think he would attribute that to change. To how time and changing circumstances warped him into something dangerous and horrible. And Danny doesn't want to be like that, become that. So he pretends that nothing is wrong, that this is all fine, that really nothing has changed.

And if a ghost's physical state is affected and will change depending on their state of mind or as a psychosomatic response like some authors, that I've seen, headcanon, do you know what that means? That means Danny wouldn't age. Because he's so desperate to pretend that nothing happened to him. And while everyone around him, his friends, his family, grow up and grow old, so long as he's stuck in this frame of mind that just because he's now half-dead doesn't mean he's different. Well... that could cause a lot of problems.

Of course, that also means we could see Danny finally come to terms with some of his trauma, like everything surrounding the Accident, his parents' own prejudices or neglect that have left him feeling cornered or forgotten. And maybe even the acceptance that, yes, he has changed because of his death, but that doesn't mean he's different than before. It just means he can do more. And at the end of the day, he's still that good kid that wanted to help other people, even though he had no obligation to, or because he was responsible for the ghost attacks.

It just means he's a good person. And THAT will never change.

But of course, I like the angsty route ;P

#danny phantom #god this is so long #I blame the phandom #y'all are too good to me #with all the content #danny fenton #ghost obsessions #oh danny #how I hurt you so

[eriellesudario]

The Idea of Watermarking (and how to do it)

As an aspiring photographer, there is a small (and optional) rule that we follow and that is to watermark your work. This is so that people will know who originally took it (if the logo is identifiable) and to prove that you own the photo.

I’ve done it a few times and you can see them mostly the events gallery because those pictures were hard to take as they require me to go outside and talk to people (and I’m introverted af!).

But what if there is a photo you took and you need to post it immediately? How will you watermark it? Is it even worth watermarking?

This post will answer that!

If you follow me on social media and you’re part of the Phandom, then ya’ll should have seen this photo being circulated all over Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram during the last two days.

This my fellow readers is my meet and greet photo with Dan and Phil during the Cool For Summer Festival in Sydney Olympic Park in 2017. I got a Platinum VIP pass so it means not only I get to meet Dan and Phil but I also get first priority entry. I was supposed to be second in line but I swapped places with my friend Tani and I became third in line.

This is basically what happened during the meet and greet:

So I walked in and gave Dan and Phil a hug. But before that, I played Hello Internet and Dan wanted to walk away. Yup… I actually had bluetooth speakers on me and blasted Dan’s first video before hugging them. But Dan wasn’t upset, he laughed. He said that playing that was ‘iconic’ then we hugged. (And if you’re concerned, I only played ‘Hi my name is Dan’ then stopped the video).

I hugged Dan first then Phil. After hugging they signed my book and talked about TATINOF then told them about my journalism assignment that I used the tour for it and got a B+ on it and they told me to give a shout out to the journalism teacher.

Then came the pose. I told them ‘well, since you’ve been talking about Lazytown in your previous live streams, I want to do the iconic sportarobbie pose from season 3’

I showed the the pose on my iPod and Dan then asked who is robbie rotten. He first suggested me but i said i wanted dan to do it. We did the pose i wanted and surprisingly, that pose was reposted multiple times on Instagram and Tumblr.

I told them about the Philippine phandom and they also told me to give them a shout out well. Sadly couldn’t be recorded.

I then said thank you and left happy.

As stated above, the photo was reposted multiple times on social media and spread like wildfire, gaining 3k+ likes as I’m writing this post right now. TBH, I pretty much expected that to happen since the pose is just soo good!

Since I knew that this photo will eventually spread, I’ve decided to watermark my image. I was reading a few comments about this in both Twitter and Instagram about my decision and only a few people were butt hurt over my decision. They think its problematic and just a stupid of me to do it. But I don’t care since it’s my photo + I told my family and friends about my decision and they think it was a good idea, that it was smart of me to do so.

I’ve seen my fair share of mass repost of meet and greet photos and they were used in edits, videos and etc that it’s a thing in the phandom to crop the fan out. TBH, I don’t care if I get cropped out but I do care when they claim the photo as theirs without crediting the original owner. I’ve seen people who were literally upset when this happened to them (from m&g pics to art edits) and it sucks.

I didn’t want to watermark my pictures in the first place but unfortunately I posted a pic from TATINOF last year and people used it, making it look like its their photo. I wasn’t credited whatsoever (and it was a hard photo to take btw).

The photo I’m talking about is this:

It was a scene from TATINOF Sydney that I took using my iPad and not only people were mad at me for taking this photo, but used it in their ‘oh it’s been x months since TATINOF’ and stuff like that. And I needed this photo for my journalism assignment btw!

So after I took my meet and greet photo, I went to sit somewhere less hectic  and began to watermark my photo. I posted it and the jokes just keeps on flying about the idea of me watermarking it. Despite most of the comments were about how cute the pic was, how I was a genius for doing this and how Dan is falling towards Phil is just phan goals, but the messages about the watermark hurt me a bit… like 1% damage.

My pose, people can easily crop me out, I’ve seen a few that did and once again… more comments about my decision. Most common is something around the lines off ‘Can’t crop this b*tch out anymore’ and something related to that. So I’ve released a statement on Instagram (where I first shared the pic) and there was lots of support about my choice and people understood why I did it.

Some have also told me that thanks to what I did, they also intend to watermark their future meet and greet pictures as well if they know it will go viral.

The purpose of the watermark is to show/prove that the photo is yours and no one can claim it’s theirs. Its permanent and unless you’re really good with photoshop, it’s hard to get rid off.

When it comes to my professional work, I usually watermark the bottom part of my photo as I want a clear shot of my pic as well as to easily identify that I took it.

Normally, I use Adobe Lightroom to watermark my works but when it comes to meet and greets, you need to upload them fast… Like the first 1 hour fast!

So how did I do it?

A few people asked what app I used to create my watermark. For those who ask, it’s called Enlight and it’s like Photoshop on your phone. It cost $5.99 AUD (but I got it for free when it was App of the Week 2 years ago)

It’s a really good app! I love to play around with it from time to time and IS REALLY USEFUL to fix really bad selfies like this one:

​(Hi Pat if you’re reading this… sorry if this selfie is being used for a blog post about watermark advice)

I needed to edit that on the spot! I didn’t want to do it at home! Also this was two selfies, just layered on top of each other and made it black and white cuz the coloured version looked like shit and made it obvious that it was edited.

But asides its use for fixing bad selfies, it’s also good for watermarks. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the PNG file of my logo on my phone so I just wrote my username.

Enlight is really handy and is good for last min edits or quick access to watermarking on the go. It’s also good with edits but that for another post.

Please note I’m not being sponsored by Lightricks Ltd. (the makers of Enlight). I just love the app. Glad I got it for free during App of the Week.

Now, every repost of my pose has my username at least spotted in the photo. You can crop me out but my name will still be seen… unless you’re a fan of Dan’s legs… then I have no control over that one.

But yeah… that’s my reason why I will now watermark my phan meet and greets and how you can do it on your mobile!

Happy watermarking!

#2017 #blog #advice #Instagram

[dannymayevent]

Great work @paper-glasses completing the daily calendar! It was great seeing all of the different art works you came up with!

This fic was created by @phandom-phriend for your day 29 prompt Heat

*tw mentions of death, parental fights

----

Ever since she saw those people on the TV screen with their loud instruments and voices, with their crazy hair colors and even wilder outfits, Ember knew she wanted, needed, to be part of that. Her parents were always quick to turn off the television when these bands came on, or change the radio station when something particularly loud or out of their comfort zones came on. But even at nine, that couldn’t stop Ember.

The second she had the chance, she found herself in the music room of her school. It wasn’t much, seeing as the school was for elementary students who couldn’t really grasp the idea of complexity quite yet, but she was desperate to get her small hands on something. Anything. The teacher was more than happy to help with her little hobby, taking the time to teach her things about rhythm and notes. Teaching her how each part worked to create the whole of what would later be heard on the radio by thousands.

Ember was entranced.

In middle school the very first thing she did was join the band. It wasn’t quite what she wanted, but even that tiny drum set served as the perfect outlet. Her parents had been fighting more and more lately, but because they were so absorbed in their own petty fights they didn’t even notice that she often returned home late from practice. It worked for her in that way, seeing as music still didn’t really seem to be their ‘thing’, but when she actually wanted for their eyes to look her way…

So Ember tried. She tried so hard to excel in all her classes, in her band performance, even in her chores to try and turn those angry glares into proud fondness like it used to be. Or maybe it was never like that and it was simply her child mind making the best of things. But it is a goal she strived to achieve in some sort of way from the moment she wakes up to the moment she goes to bed each night.

In the end, her grades slipped. Ember was still trying so hard, but it wasn’t enough. She couldn’t bring herself to focus on her studies the same way that she focused on music. No matter what she tried, she just couldn’t get the same joy from reading or equations that she got from beats and lyrics. Sitting in a classroom could never have the same appeal as being on a stage, but it seems that kind of logic doesn't work on teachers or state tests. Who knew?

In eighth grade, a friend of hers introduced her to the guitar. It was something her dad kept propped up in the living room corner. The previous times she had been over, Ember had thought the item was merely a decoration to ‘tie the room together’. But when he found Ember staring at it and offered to teach her, that was a moment she could never forget for the rest of her life.

Feeling those strings under her fingertips. The way her heart beat with each sound that strummed from the instrument with only a slight movement of her hand. The way it sent shivers down her spine with the absolute feeling of power and pride dancing in her veins with every new note. This was her instrument. The guitar called to her in a way that drums and flutes and clarinets never had. She knew that from that moment on, she would do everything in her grasp to keep this feeling with her.

At sixteen she is no longer in band, but instead choir. They had recruited her during freshman year and she found that she enjoyed singing just as much as she enjoyed the guitar. The freedom and range it gave her, the chances for solos and the spotlight. For all those eyes on her. Her parents never came to a show, but when the stage lights flashed in her eyes so that the crowd became nothing but shadows, it was easy to pretend they approved. To pretend things were okay and that she would see them after the show. To prove her worth was more on the stage than it could ever be on paper.

Now she is also working part time at some stupid diner. It’s totally not her scene with the overly stressed coworkers and the customers that pretend to know their jobs better than they do. The grease from the food and the same six songs playing during her long shifts aren’t quite the excitement she’s looking for. Not to mention the tacky uniform that totally clashes with her bright red curls…

So if she keeps waiting for a Help Wanted sign to appear in the window of the record shop across the street, who really needs to know?

But it pays well. Well enough that she finally, finally, gets what she’s been wanting for so long. An electric guitar of her very own, colors customized to shine perfectly in the spotlights glow. Holding that gem in her hands for the first time nearly brought her to her knees. This, this right here in her thin hands, is her legacy. This shop in this small town is going to be the start of something great, it’s just that no one else knows it yet.

At eighteen it’s her senior year and she refuses to graduate without doing something she deems herself as great. So without a second thought she signs up for some talent show with a grand prize of $5,000 and a record deal. She has to drive three states away and skip a few school days to make the auditions, but school work and attendance has never stopped her before.

A week later, she got an email congratulating her on making it into the first round.

And just like that she began to shoot up to the top like a rocket going to the depths of space. Ember won round after round after round. Sure, seeing the crying faces of her competition that got sent home wasn’t a good feeling. But the feeling of being so close to stardom, being recognized as one of the best, let those negative feelings be drowned out. They all may have had dreams, but she did too. And she wasn’t going to give hers up for anything or anyone.

And then

She

Won

She won the competition, driving all over the country to different venues to perform her way to the top all by herself. All those hours practicing, all those moments where she chose not to give in when the rest of the world told her to, lead up to this moment. This very moment where the gold and silver confetti falls from the ceiling accompanied by matching balloons. This moment where the judges she's seen face to face countless times over the course of this journey walk up to her with a golden trophy. This moment where she gets to choose which record label she wants to sign to.

This moment where she is truly free.

Then came time for her first live performance. Her hair all tied up, makeup done in a way to leave an impression. Outfit displaying all the power and ferocity within. This would be her debut song to the world. The first pillar after a long string of stepping stones leading her to the fame she has desired since she was small. Her parents still aren’t in the crowd, but that’s okay now. Now she has fans that watched her journey cheering her name. And the only way she plans to go is up.

Except that didn’t happen. Halfway through her song there was an… accident. One of the stage crew members didn’t properly put out their cigarette backstage and started a small fire. It could have been easily handled, but the assistant who found it panicked and fanned it with the papers they had been holding, unintentionally making the flames bigger.

By the time Ember realized the heat wasn’t from her workout of working her stage magic, but from the hidden flames backstage, it was already too late. The rope they had used in place of the rusted metal beam that once held one of the spotlights burned.

The rope burned and the light came tumbling down, down, down. All she could do was look up into it as the bulb flickered out. Look up and hope against all hope that this wasn’t it. That there would be more to her story.

“... But I woke up in the ghost zone instead of some hospital bed. Years had already passed by the time I manifested and everyone… everyone had already forgotten about me. Just another news story. Well, they did change the safety measures for stage performances after that. So I guess that’s a win.” Ember sighed, looking out at the stars above them. Sometimes it hurt to look at them, all twinkling and bright above her.

Sometimes she worries that one might fall.

“I’m… sorry, Ember.” Danny said sadly. He knew that all ghosts had their story, a reason they remained. But hearing them never got easier. The pain of having lost everything just to be stuck in some kind of in-between is a burden that feels like it’s too much to bear, but there is no escaping it either.

“It’s okay. Well, it’s not, but you don’t have to be sorry.”

“I wish I could help you.”

“Well, you could let me perform my hypnotizing show without issues.”

Danny laughed and shook his head. “Fat chance. Unless you can do it without the whole mind control thing, I don’t think that can work.”

“Aw, you’re no fun.” Ember laughed back before standing up “Well, maybe one tame show wouldn’t be so bad.”

The halfa stood up after her and smiled. “Then it’s a deal. The mayor owes me one, so I’m sure I can get you a great stadium attendance.”

“You know…. You’re not so bad, kid.”

“Neither are you.”

The two stayed silent for a moment, simply looking out to the stars, both of them thinking about their broken dreams caused by being a ghost. So many things were lost or taken from them. But that’s the funny thing about being broken, sometimes your edges line up with someone else's. Sometimes with someone you would never even expect.

#dannymay2020 #death mention #fic

[srl541]

Week 3: Stars

Two months late, but I finally got this done! I started this back in mid-May but got a little overwhelmed (making music like this in a week was a bit much I guess orz). I gave up on the musical references to DP because they felt forced and instead wrote a short one-shot:

----------

The beginning (drabble)

"3, 2, 1, . . ."

With each count voiced over the comms, Danny felt his heart pound harder. His core was a tangled mess of excitement and worry, amplified by the agitated state he could sense in his crewmates.

"Blastoff!"

The shuttle quivered. He felt as if a weight pressed his whole self toward the floor, even as his anticipation soared through the ceiling.

His dream, at last. Humanity was another step further in space exploration, and he would directly contribute.

When the weight disappeared and congratulations were passed, he let himself relax. He was glad they hadn't required his unique "skills."

--

1 month later (one-shot)

"Danny, when you have the chance, can you come check this out? The ecto-scanner is giving some odd readings."

"Sure, give me a minute." Danny carefully secured the glowing-green flask he had been inspecting and jotted a few notes in his lab notebook. In seconds, he was heading toward the cockpit.

Scott waved him over. "We're approaching an area with higher ecto-readings, but it doesn't look dense enough to be a formed entity. What do you think?"

Danny rubbed his neck as he scrolled through the readings. "Yeah, the ecto-energy looks a little weak. But I'd say the pattern is a little strange. See how it's clustered in a path and not spread out evenly? I'll prep and be on the lookout in case."

"Good point. We still have an hour, so you have some time." Scott gave him a friendly shoulder pat and turned back to the navigation instruments. He conferred with Commander Kay and announced a warning over the comms.

Danny checked the Fenton thermos clipped to his suit and headed back to crew quarters to change, as well as to hand out backup ecto-blasters.

When he returned, he stared at the view out the front. Even weeks into the journey, the stars looked too clear to be real.

He almost hadn't made it to space. Not because of what he'd initially feared. When NASA had found out about his ghost half, they had instead been ecstatic about the new scientific possibilities his powers introduced. No, his struggle came from his crewmates. NASA wouldn’t let a contentious crew on a mission.

"You feeling alright?" Danny asked.

"Yeah, I'm good."

The emotions picked up by his core confirmed Scott's calmness. He had come a long way from his fears.

"You know, I'm really glad you're here to deal with this ghost stuff. I don’t think I’ve said it enough.”

“Well, that’s my gig. Semi-professional ghost hunter here,” Danny quipped. “Of course, my real job is jar-opening. Can’t forget that.”

Scott chuckled. “Right, you helped Jenny with her stuck jar this morning. Intangibility really seems handy.”

Danny grinned. NASA particularly didn’t mind having someone who could make things intangible on hand. Flight was also an invaluable tool.

He was beyond fortunate; his crew had mostly been understanding about his secrets. Mostly.

It took a long time, but patience and a lot of conversation helped mitigate fears about the supernatural and repave trust. All that work led to a closer friendship. Scott was one of the easiest for him to approach now.

Danny felt a rush of cold air come up through his throat. He squinted at the view, now glowing a slight green, and pressed the button for the comms. “Actually, I think there is something. Kay, do I have permission to leave the ship?”

An affirmative was returned. He re-checked his gear, gave a jaunty salute to his friend, and phased out of the cockpit.

The wide expanse never failed to amaze him, but he had a job to do. He zoomed ahead of the ship and reached his senses out, following paths that looked slightly greener than others.

There. Danny floated closer. A bare wisp of a ghost, a faint echo of what must have been a powerful being to get so far from Earth.

Or at least, that was what he assumed. Theoretically, the ghost world was a reflection of the human world.

He spoke into his comms. “There actually is a ghost here. They’re too weak to do anything, though. Must have wandered too far away from Earth and ran out of energy to figure out a way back.”

“Alright, so there’s no danger. What is your recommendation?” Kay asked.

Danny unclipped his Fenton thermos. “I’m taking them back home. The ectoplasm they left behind is really cool, too. Some of it is stable enough for testing. Might give some great data for the energy source experiments.”

“That sounds great. Be careful.”

Sucking the ghost into the Fenton thermos was as easy as breathing. With oxygen, at least. He gathered some samples by the time the ship caught up, and then he phased back in.

Scott gave him a thumbs up. Danny smiled back, content with how helpful his skills were for the mission.

It was as if his space journey was written in the stars.

-- 

Extra

An invisible shape loomed, observing the earthlings. The ectoranium asteroids would shield it from detection until it was too late for the small crew. It was true that the ghost wisp had once been powerful, but its fall hadn’t been straying too far from Earth.  

----------

More notes: I tried to add more instruments to make the sound fuller, but maybe it was too much? Or maybe the reverb blurred things together excessively? I had liked the echo-y sound, but it might have been the wrong choice. I still have a lot to learn about mixing/mastering, haha (and I’m not even recording stuff yet I’m just using VSTs). 

Inspiration for this piece was mainly from the Space theme from Overcooked!. The hyper-space travel background of the video was from #AAfvx (https://www.youtube.com/dvdangor2011).

On the short fic, I don’t really sci-fi and I still feel super rusty with writing, but hopefully it tells a story that can go along with the musical piece. The extra didn’t fit with the music but I think would fit more with DP fanfics, maybe? XD

I’m really glad this event was held since it really motivated me to create things again! There was a ton of talent in the fanart and fanfic I saw. But, I’ve realized that though I still enjoy the fanworks I’ve mostly moved on from the Phandom. I might go back to leaving anonymous reviews here and there. <3

#dannymay2020 #Danny Phantom #My Music #My Writing #Instrumental #Soundtrack #Fanfiction #Should I still be using the dannymay tag it's so late haha

[adorkablephil]

My lady, it's so good to see you around 😘

😂I guess you saw me liking some of your posts this morning. 😂I apparently was not sneaky. 😂

I got a notification that someone had sent me a couple messages here, so I logged on to answer them ... and then I saw all these cute dnp posts and had to like them. And I saw other neat stuff & had to like some of that, too. And then I noticed that almost everything I was liking had been posted/reblogged by you. 💜

I can’t fall down the Tumblr rabbit hole again right now (I used to spend hours every day here!), but it’s so nice to see dnp stuff when I’ve only been following them on Twitter (and Phil’s videos, of course). I loved Phil’s video about rescuing Steve the Pigeon so much that I was recommending it to all my irl friends!

I’m excited to see what Dan puts out, if he ever gets his new project into a state he can tolerate with his perfectionistic tendencies. I’m guessing that he’s trying something new and so is struggling with doubting himself, if his descriptions of his past are any indication. I’m actually hoping it’s a book, because I’ve always considered him very talented in his use of imagery, metaphor, simile, and language in general. I think the very first YouTube comment I ever left on one of his videos was me saying that I hoped he’d come out with a book of essays someday.

I still support these boys with all my heart, even if I’m not active in the phandom anymore.

#dnp

[leave-a-whisper]

thank you @luckilyiambrave for tagging me!

what do you prefer to be called?

harley. har and harles are also fine but I usually go by my full name and not a nickname

when is your birthday?

march 5th

where do you live?

florida, usa (ew)

three things you are doing right now

listening to muse, petting my cat, and answering these questions

four fandoms that have your intrest right now

this is a hard one to answer because the phandom is the only fandom I've seriously gotten into. I genuinely don't think I could name four if I tried because everything I enjoy in my life are things I enjoy casually

how's the pandemic treating you?

I mean I'm part of the screwed over class of 2020, I was supposed to go to prom with my girlfriend and by now she would have moved here and we'd be living together, but now we won't get to see each other until 2021 so that sucks. I was supposed to be getting a job but I can't get into the dmv to get my license and I'm stuck with my dumbass mom who is just as overbearing as ever (even though I'm 18 I don't get to choose who's house I'm at and when so that's fantastic) I also have to deal with her trump supporting friends and living with someone who has homophobic views despite being fully aware that I am gay and that that's harmful to me. there was also a concert I was really looking forward to and my senior trip got cancelled so that's pretty shit. I also already ranted about how poorly the florida governor is handling the situation and how august is probably going to be a hell month for us

on the good side though, I am lucky. my mom doesn't work and my dad works from home. I only ever leave the house to drive my mom to the store or to go between my parents houses. I try to get out every one and a while and walk my dog but it's so hot outside lately and when it's not it's raining. I hate not being able to do more because I'm an adult with no underlying conditions who needs to pay for uni so I should definitely be working right now and the fact that I can't because I waited too long to go for my license is really annoying. the good thing is that I'm healthy and I'm doing everything I can to look after my mental health despite how not being able to see my therapist and having to deal with my mom purposely fucking with my emotions as she always does taking a toll on it

sorry that was long I just really needed to get that off my chest

a song you cant stop listening to

oh gosh I could go on but recently I discovered sigrid and I'm really obsessed with every song on her album

reccomend a movie

idk if it's still on netflix but I really love august rush! it's such a sweet movie and it has an amazing soundtrack

how old are you?

18

school, university, occupation, ect

I'm currently enrolled in community college because even though I have to live at home for another two years until I can get my associates it's saving me a lot of money and is going to be an easier transition for me since I have a lot of anxiety and don't like the idea of going to uni straight away. I'm currently going for a psychology degree but that could change in the future, but I don't plan on spending more than four years in uni because it's just not worth it

do you prefer hot or cold?

I'm definitely more resilient when it comes to hot weather but I prefer cold just because it's something I'm not used to. It's really boring living somewhere that only experiences about one and a half seasons

name a fact that people may not know about you

I can get a 100% the seterra 198 un member states map quiz in about ten minutes (I think somewhere between ten and fifteen minutes is my fastest time) and I did it for literally no reason other than I just like memorizing things

are you shy?

only around strangers. if I know you I won't shut up

what are your preferred pronouns?

she/her, but I wouldn't be offended if you called me anything else

any pet peeves?

getting spoken over. I don't have a quiet voice but I'm not good at asserting myself so generally get drowned out in group conversations and feel guilty for asking people to be quiet so I can speak because when too many people are talking at once my auditory processing goes wild and I feel overwhelmed

what's your favourite "dere" type?

I had to google this and it said something about anime? I don't watch anime, sorry

rate your life 1-10

7...but this definitely fluctuates. maybe it would be a 10 if I weren't so mentally fucked up. maybe it's the way I've been treated by kids in school for my disorder or the way I was in manipulative friendships at a very young age and how my parents generally make me feel guilty and personally responsible for all my flaws but hey maybe I shouldn't be publicly psychoanalyzing myself

what's your main blog?

this is my only blog

list your sideblogs and what they're for

on my old account I had sideblogs for tua and dodie but the only thing I post about on a regular basis is dnp so I just have one this time around

I technically have one sideblog for my navi because I didn't want to clog my about page but it's not really a blog. I also keep all my urls on a seperate account but there's only one url that I really want and I'm waiting for tumblr to add -blog to it so that I can finally have it

is there anything people should know about you before being friends with you?

I talk a LOT. some of my mutuals are probably already aware of this but once I get a conversation going it's hard to stop, but then once that conversation ends it's hard for me to start another one. that's mostly just me never really knowing how to start conversations, not because I didn't enjoy talking to you. trust me, if you've done anything to make me not want to talk to you I WILL let you know. I'm a pretty nice person but I am also brutally honest

~~~

I probably overshared a bit too much in this but I don't really mind people knowing these things about me

I'm not going to tag anyone specific but if you would like to answer these go ahead!

#I'm not gonna tag ppl in these anymore it's just here to use #tagged #har rambles

[rainbowchristy]

This Could be the End of Everything (Chapter Eight)

Summary: Dan’s finally starting university, the phase of his life he’s been waiting for since he was a small child. His first real chance at freedom, away from his parents. Unfortunately, the universe has other plans for him.

Prompt: au where dan and phil are college students who get separated when they’re sent home bc of coronavirus. potential dan isn’t out to his parents angst + general ldr angst + fluffy reunion when they get back to campus and everything is over pls

A/N: This is for @counting2fifteen​ as part of the Phandom Writers Discord Fall (totally should be Autumn) exchange!

TW: Panic attacks, mentions of death, homophobic slurs.

Ao3 Link

Chapter 1 | Last Chapter

-

5:56 pm – From Danisnotonfire: Help

Phil’s reading through his emails when the message comes through. At first, he thinks it may be his mum telling him to come help with dinner, since she’d mentioned that earlier. But when he sees the name attached to the message, he opens it right away.

5:56 pm – To Danisnotonfire: What’s wrong?

5:57 pm – From Danisnotonfire: Can’t breathe

Phil’s mind reels, trying desperately to work out what could be wrong. Is Dan dying? Is he having some kind of horrific medical emergency which will lead to his death? Is Phil going to be the last person Dan talks to, ever?

He realises though, that none of those are likely. Dan’s smart and old enough to know to contact triple nine if there’s an actual emergency. That leaves only one thing that Phil can think of.

5:57 pm – To Danisnotonfire: Panic attack?

5:57 pm – To Danisnotonfire: Stay calm, ok? Deep breaths. Try counting to 3.

5:57 pm – To Danisnotonfire: It’ll be hard but focus and you’ll get there.

Phil’s fingers fly across the keyboard, typing out three consecutive messages. He hopes Dan’s eyes haven’t clouded over too much to see them. He remembers the one panic attack he’s had in his life.

It was right after he’d found out his best friend had passed away. He was only a child. He didn’t understand the concept of death. All he knew was that his best friend had gone away, and would never ever come back.

He’s pulled from his thoughts by his phone going off.

5:57 pm – From Danisnotonfire: Can’t

Phil blinks the tears from his eyes away so he can reply. He’s gotten past Mason, he really has. But no matter how much time has passed, losing a best friend, when they were so young at that, is not something anyone really forgets.

5:58 pm – To Danisnotonfire: You can. You can do this, Dan. Do you want to call?

Phil hadn’t really planned to write that. He’s sitting shirtless in his bed, not at all in a ready-to-call state. But if Dan needs him, he’ll do anything.

5:59 pm – From Danisnotonfire: No

5:59 pm – To Danisnotonfire: You sure? I can help.

5:59 pm – From Danisnotonfire: Don’t want you seeing me like this.

Phil frowns but he understands. He remembers being ashamed before. He remembers not wanting to be seen at any cost. He can imagine it’s ten times worse during an attack.

Still, he’s not quite sure what to say. It’s fine, and he should say that. But at the same time, it’s clearly not fine. Dan’s clearly not fine. He doesn’t get a chance to reply though, as his phone pings with another message.

6:03 pm – From Danisnotonfire: I’m ok.

Phil breathes a sigh of relief. But then realises maybe Dan’s just scared of Phil’s reaction. Phil wouldn’t put anything past Dan at this point.

6:04 pm – To Danisnotonfire: You sure? How’s your breathing?

6:04 pm – From Danisnotonfire: Yeah. Fine now. Sorry.

6:04 pm – To Danisnotonfire: Don’t be sorry.

6:04 pm – From Danisnotonfire: I’m still sorry.

6:05 pm – To Danisnotonfire: :(

6:05 pm – To Danisnotonfire: We can still call, if you want.

6:06 pm – From Danisnotonfire: I’m still gross, I haven’t showered.

Phil understands. He hasn’t showered either. With nowhere to go, only his parents ever see him. And they’ve seen him worse. Besides, they’re not allowed to judge him. They’re his parents.

6:06 pm – To Danisnotonfire: You’re still beautiful. How about you run a bath and use a nice bath bomb?

6:07 pm – From Danisnotonfire: I don’t want you to leave.

Oh, Phil’s brain supplies. He re-reads the message because he’s pretty sure he never said anything about leaving Dan.

He’s not really sure what Dan means, but chooses not to question it. Dan’s fragile right now and Phil really doesn’t want to upset him.

This Dan – post-panic-attack Dan – kind of reminds Phil of hospital Dan. Except now, Dan’s a lot less open. He’d love to give Dan a hug at this point but they’re a three-hour train ride apart. So instead, he settles to limit Dan’s fears.

6:07 pm – To Danisnotonfire: I’ll be here when you get out.

6:07 pm – From Danisnotonfire: I’m scared

Phil’s realised this much, but it still hurts him to see it written out.

6:07 pm – To Danisnotonfire: A bath will make you feel better. I promise I’m not going anywhere.

6:08 pm – From Danisnotonfire: Can I bring you with me? My phone, I mean.

He smiles. It may be risky – taking a phone anywhere near water always is – but Phil thinks it’s sweet that Dan wants to take that risk just so Phil can stay with him.

Well, cute. And a little worrying considering the situation they’re in. Phil hopes Dan isn’t afraid of Phil leaving to the point that he’s taking unnecessary risks.

6:08 pm – To Danisnotonfire: Don’t think quarantine would approve of bathing together ;) but I’ll let you take your phone so you will actually have a bath.

6:10 pm – To Danisnotonfire: Naked yet? ;)

Phil laughs after he types the message and types out another quickly.

6:10 pm – To Danisnotonfire: jk haha

6:10 pm – From Danisnotonfire: Getting in the bath now.

6:11 pm – To Danisnotonfire: How are you feeling?

Phil’s probably asking too many questions, but he’s worried. Maybe Dan having a bath was a bad idea. Phil remembers how exhausted he was after his panic attack.

What if Dan falls asleep in the bath? What if he drowns? What if Phil, single-handedly, is the cause for Dan’s death?

6:11 pm – From Danisnotonfire: Like I’m sitting in 2 cm of water?

Phil laughs and rolls his eyes. Dan makes a good point. And Phil feels a little better knowing Dan’s comfortable enough right now to make a joke.

6:11 pm – To Danisnotonfire: Touche

It’s a while before the next message. Phil’s put on a shirt by now and is pulling pants onto his body.

6:16 pm – From Danisnotonfire: Water’s nice [image]

Phil stares at the photo Dan’s sent. It’s just bathwater, nothing exciting, but Phil can tell he’s used an expensive bath bomb. The cheap ones from the supermarket barely change the colour’s water. This bomb has changed the whole tub. Its blues and greens make Phil want to hop on a train just to use the water after Dan, in a non-creepy way.

6:16 pm – To Danisnotonfire: That looks amazing!

6:16 pm – To Danisnotonfire: Relax now. Message if you need me :D

Dan must do as he says, because it’s a while before the next message comes through. It surprises him at first. It makes sense that Dan’s thinking about it, but the idea that he’s ready to hadn’t occurred to Phil.

6:23 pm – From Danisnotonfire: I’m going to come out.

He types his reply quickly.

6:23 pm – To Danisnotonfire: Is that a good idea?

He feels bad. Almost as if he’s saying that Dan should just stay in the closet, which Phil doesn’t think at all. But Phil can’t help but think of what Dan’s told him. His homophobic father. His always-agreeing mother. Surely it wouldn’t be a good idea to come out. Especially when Dan’s living there. After quarantine, when he’s returning to uni, sure. But right now? Phil can’t stop himself from thinking the worst.

6:24 pm – From Danisnotonfire: I can’t live like this. I need them to know.

Phil gets that, he really does, so he pushes his worries away and supports Dan.

6:24 pm – To Danisnotonfire: If it’s what you need to do, then of course do it.

He can’t stop himself from raising his concerns.

6:25 pm – To Danisnotonfire: I’m just not sure if it’s safe since you can’t leave the house if it goes bad.

6:25 pm – From Danisnotonfire: Yeah I know. But I don’t have a choice. If they don’t accept me, then that’s their fault.

6:25 pm – From Danisnotonfire: There’s nothing wrong with me.

Phil smiles. He’s not sure if it’s happy or sad. Happy, because Dan knows being gay isn’t wrong. Or sad, because he actually has to say that.

6:26 pm – To Danisnotonfire: Of course there’s not.

6:26 pm – To Danisnotonfire: I trust you, ok? Just be safe and message me after.

6:26 pm – To Danisnotonfire: And good luck! <3

6:26 pm – From Danisnotonfire: I’ll need it

6:27 pm – From Danisnotonfire: <3

Phil stares at his phone for another two minutes until he sees that Dan’s logged off.

He’s not really sure what to do now. He really can’t do uni, not when he knows that Dan’s about to change his life forever.

He decides to go downstairs and see what his mum’s up to. Maybe she can help distract him until Dan messages him with an update.

“Hey, Mum,” he says, swinging on the railing of the bottom step to turn around towards the kitchen.

“Hi, honey,” she says in reply. She’s making something. What, Phil can’t tell.

He decides to ask, “What are you making?”

“Dinner, of course,” she says, teasing. “Lasagña.”

“Yummy.”

She looks up, squinting her eyes at him.

“Somethings up,” she says, pointing the sauce-covered spoon at him. “Tell me.”

Phil smiles. Of course she knows something’s wrong. She’s his mother. She always knows when there’s something even slightly off with her sons.

“Dan,” Phil says, sighing.

She puts the spoon down and turns to give Phil her full attention.

“What’s he done?”

“No, he hasn’t done anything, don’t worry.”

She gestures for him to explain.

“It’s just that– he’s, um, decided to come out, I guess,” he says, the end turning into more of a question.

“To his parents?”

Phil nods.

“Oh, blimey.”

He laughs. “Yeah.”

“You said they were homophobic, didn’t you?”

Phil nods again. “He had a panic attack like fifteen minutes ago. I don’t know what happened but I’m worried that doing this isn’t a good idea.”

“Why would it not be?” She’s not arguing with Phil. She’s simply trying to understand the situation. She’s listening to Phil and giving him support.

“Because if anything goes wrong, he’s stuck at home.”

Phil’s brain starts supplying all the worst-case scenarios. What if his dad kicks him out? What if he ends up homeless during a global pandemic? What if–?

“Phil,” his mum says, interrupting his train of thought, “I can see all those cogs wearing in your head. He’ll be okay, love.”

“But what if he’s not?”

She sighs but Phil knows she isn’t fed up with him.

“How about we watch a movie? That’ll take your mind off things. Dinner can wait. Is he going to get back to you when he can?”

Phil nods. “He said he would.”

“So keep your phone with you. We can watch a movie until he gets back to you. Just so you don’t spend the next however long worrying yourself to an early grave.”

Phil’s not sure because he wants to keep his eyes glued to his phone so he doesn’t miss anything. But she gestures him through to the lounge and when she puts on his favourite Disney movie as a kid, he’s easily drawn in.

He laughs at the film’s shenanigans along with his mother, to the point that he actually forgets about Dan for a little bit.

His dad arrives home partway through. He doesn’t say anything and just sits down to watch the movie as well. He gets a good few laughs in before the end.

When the credits start rolling, he automatically checks his phone. It hasn’t gone off all movie, he knows that. But there’s still something about checking that’s relieving. He knows for certain he hasn’t missed anything then.

But then he realises that he actually wants his phone to go off. He wants to see the little notification from skype saying that he has a new message. He feels a little guilty at forgetting but he tries to push that away. Distractions aren’t bad. In fact, if he hadn’t been distracted, he’d probably have eaten his phone in frustration by now.

“Hey Mum,” Phil says, getting her attention. She was conversing quietly with her husband but quickly turned to Phil when he spoke up.

“What’s up?” she asks.

“Dan hasn’t messaged,” he says simply, holding up his phone as if she could see the lack of notifications on an off screen. “I’m gonna give him a call to check up on him.”

She nods. “I think that’s a good idea. Let me know how it goes, okay?”

Phil agrees and heads out of the room to go upstairs into his bedroom.

After closing his door, he sits on the bed and takes a deep breath. He’s not sure why he’s so nervous. He’s not the one to have just come out. But he cares about Dan, so he supposes it makes sense.

He presses call next to Dan’s username and hears the familiar skype calling tune. Thirty seconds later, it disconnects.

Danisnotonfire is unavailable right now. Try again?

Phil does. And again. And again. He calls four times in total before giving up. Either Dan’s busy – aka doesn’t have his phone because he’s been kicked out – or he doesn’t want to talk. Phil has to respect the latter, which he really hopes is the reason. He types out a message because skype doesn’t have voicemail.

8:22 pm – To Danisnotonfire: Hope everything went ok! I’m a little worried since you won’t pick up but I hope you’re safe! You deserve to be safe and happy, Dan. I hope you know that. You also deserve to love and to be loved by whoever you want (but I’d love for that whoever to be me <3).

He goes to inform his mother next because she’s a worrier just like him. Sure, she’s never met Dan and knows very little about him. But his mother is an overly caring person and Phil has no doubt that she’ll be hoping for the best for Dan.

~~~~

Incoming call from Danisnotonfire: Accept. Decline.

Phil clicks accept within seconds. It’s the next day now, and Phil hasn’t heard from Dan at all since his bath.

He doesn’t mean to, but the first thing he does when Dan’s camera connects is look around the background. He sighs; it’s familiar. He hates to admit it, but he’d half-expected Dan’s background to be that of a homeless shelter.

Next, he checks Dan for any signs of his mood. He can’t collect much information, though, since Dan’s face is completely neutral.

“Hey!” Phil says happily. He’s still worried but seeing that Dan’s at home, the situation can’t be too bad.

“Hi, Phil,” Dan says. His voice sounds a little hoarse which Phil can only assume is from crying. He doesn’t look like he’s been crying, but Phil can’t think of a single other reason for Dan’s voice to sound like it does.

“How are you?” he asks. Dan glances to his side before looking back at Phil.

“Good, thanks. How are you?”

Phil smiles. He’s still not sure he believes Dan; the boy is being strangely stoic. “I’m good. I was really worried about you, though.”

Dan glances away again before looking back at Phil.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“No, no,” Phil says, shaking his head. “You don’t need to be sorry.”

Dan nods and opens his mouth to say something before he closes it again.

“Do you want to share how it went?” Phil asks in what he hopes is a reassuring voice. He doesn’t want to scare Dan because the one thing he’s picked up on from this weird conversation is that Dan’s about ready to bolt.

“Dad wasn’t happy. I expected that much though. I mean, I had a fucking panic attack because of him.”

“Yesterday? Or did you have another one?”

“The one before the bath,” Dan confirms. “Mum started crying and saying she was sorry if she ever made me feel unloved.”

Phil smiles, happy at least one of Dan’s parents were supportive.

“Overall, I’m happy with how it went. I mean, Dad said some awful shit but hey, he didn’t kick me out.”

“The bar is set pretty low, though, huh?”

Dan smiles. “The bars at the bottom of the ocean. And you know very well how deep that is.”

Phil laughs at Dan’s joke, if it could be called that.

“But seriously,” he says. “You’re okay with how it went? You don’t feel stuck there?”

“Well of course I feel stuck here, we’re in quarantine. But I don’t feel any more stuck than I did this time yesterday.”

“I’m glad.”

“Me too,” Dan says. “I’m– it’s weird. I didn’t think it’d make much of a difference to me. But I feel so much lighter with them knowing. I don’t have this massive secret to hide anymore.”

“That’s really good. You know, Dan, I’m proud of you.”

Dan tilts his head. “Why? I haven’t done anything.”

“You have,” Phil insists. “Coming out is super scary, especially when you don’t think your parents will approve. You’re really, really brave.”

Dan looks away, blushing now. “I didn’t do anything that hasn’t been done before.”

Phil laughs sadly. “Stop trying to belittle your achievements, Dan. It’s a huge deal and you should be proud of yourself.”

He shrugs. “I guess I kind of am. I don’t know.”

“I’ll take ‘I don’t know’ over nothing!” Phil says, smiling now.

Dan smiles and looks back at the camera.

“Thank you,” he says.

Now it’s Phil’s turn to tilt his head. “What did I do?”

“You were there for me. You still are. I just��� no one’s ever been on my side before. I’ve always done everything alone. It’s just nice to have someone rooting for me.”

Phil smiles, even though his heart is panging with sadness for Dan’s past.

“I don’t plan to stop rooting for you for a very long time,” he says.

Dan closes his eyes and leans back. Phil assumes he’s taking in the words Dan says; at least that’s what it looks like he’s doing.

He opens his eyes again.

“How’s your mum’s garden going?”

Phil smiles wide. “Good!” he says, excited.

He’s been working in the backyard for a few hours every day, slaving over soil and seeds.

“Mum let me–”

“Shh!” Dan says quickly, interrupting him.

Phil goes quiet right away, worried.

“Daniel,” a voice says. It sounds rough.

“Yes, Dad?”

“I wanted to have a chat,” he says. Phil sees Dan stiffen but he doesn’t move to disconnect the call. He wants to remind Dan that he’s there, in case this is meant to be private, but he doesn’t know if making his presence known to Dan’s dad is a good idea.

“What is it?”

“You.”

“Oh,” Dan says, and even Phil can hear the fear in his voice.

“More specifically, you being a faggot.”

“Oh,” Dan says, and now he sounds more sad than scared. He’s shrunk in on himself and has crossed his arms protectively.

“I spoke with your mother,” he says. And these pauses are driving Phil mad. He can’t imagine how Dan feels. “I don’t agree that what you feel is right. In fact, I don’t think there’s much in the world that’s worse than being a faggot.”

Phil feels like he himself is being attacked by Dan’s dad.

“But–” he continues. “I realise it’s not something you can control. I will support you until you finish university, as I promised I would. However, I would like you to stay on a career path to something professional and respectable. Like becoming a lawyer. Do I make myself clear?”

Phil sees Dan Adam's apple bob as he swallows.

“Yes, Dad,” he says.

“Good.”

Phil hears some shuffling before the sound of a door closing. Dan turns back to the camera.

“I’m sorry about that,” he says.

“That’s alright. Just, um, you know I heard the whole thing, right?”

Dan nods. “Yeah, I wanted you to. I would have muted myself if I didn’t.”

“Oh,” Phil says, because what else is he supposed to say in this situation. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Dan shakes his head. “Please, just, forget about it. Tell me about the garden?” he asks, and who’s Phil to refuse his boyfriend’s request.

“Mum let me plant a small bed of flowers. I’m super excited for them to grow!”

“You’ll have to send me photos when they do.”

“I will!” There’s a pause. “Dad says we should get some bees to help.”

Dan looks concerned. “You’ll get stung!” he says.

Phil laughs. “That’s what I said. But Dad said the bees he’d get don’t have stingers. Apparently there are different types of bees and some don’t have stingers.”

“Oh! That’s cool! I thought all bees had them.”

“Me too,” Phil says. “But apparently not.”

There’s a pause in conversation for thirty seconds or so. A pause that long would have been awkward a month ago but Dan and Phil have called every night for a few weeks now. Silences are no longer weird or uncomfortable.

“Oh my god!” Phil says suddenly. “You’ll never guess what I learnt today.”

Dan laughs. “What?”

“Bees hold feet when they sleep!”

“I’m sorry, what?” Dan says but his raised eyebrows tell Phil he heard him perfectly fine.

“Yeah! Sometimes they curl up on flowers and lay head to tail. And then they’re feets all tangle together and they hold each other. It’s so cute! I’ll send a photo!”

“Wait, so you learnt about bees basically sixty-nining?”

Phil’s eyes blow wide. “Dan!” he says, chastising. “Oh my god, you can’t just say that!”

“You started it!” Dan says in defence.

“It’s cute! You made adorable bees cuddling together into a sex thing!”

“I’ll turn your mum into a sex thing,” Dan retorts, before choking on his own laughter. “Oh my god, I didn’t realise that would sound so bad.”

“Apologise this instant!” Phil demands, feigning upset.

“Hm,” Dan says thinking. “Yeah, I don’t think I will.”

“Daniel James Howell, apologise this instant!”

“And what are you gonna do? You’re a four-hour train ride away!”

Phil frowns but he’s happy as can be. “I’ll tell my mum! Then you’ll be forbidden from this household and she’ll lock me away. It’ll be like Romeo and Juliet. You’ll never see me again!” Phil wails, making Dan laugh harder.

“Wait wait wait, who’s Romeo and who’s Juliet in this situation?” he says, giggling.

“Well, obviously I’m Romeo. Big, strong,” he pauses, “insanely attractive. I mean, come on. I’m practically him already.”

Dan snorts as he laughs, which Phil thinks is adorable.

“Right, of course. And that makes me Juliet. The meek little girl waiting for a man to save her?”

“Have you even read Romeo and Juliet? Juliet’s a badass! Seriously, she’s intelligent and conniving in the best way possible. It’s her idea to fake their deaths too! She’s actually a really strong female character, which was rare for the time period it was written in.”

Dan laughs. “Oh, so you’re a Shakespeare aficionado. Since when did you know so much about old-timey novels?”

“I did AP English,” Phil says.

Dan raises his eyebrow.

“But I’ve also watched a lot of videos lately analysing Shakespear,” Phil admits, grinning cheekily.

“And there’s the truth,” Dan says. “I knew Romeo was a fraud!”

“Hey!” Phil says, mock offence in his voice. “Romeo was a true sweetheart! All he wanted was Juliet to love him and to accept his love for her. He died for their love!”

“No, I’m pretty sure Juliet died for their love.”

“They both died for their love. Which is dumb, but anyway!”

Dan laughs. And Phil laughs with him.

Phil’s happy. Of course, he’s generally a happy person. But right now, with Dan being projected in his laptop screen from over 250 km away, Phil’s the happiest he’s ever been. And during a global pandemic, that’s saying something.

-

Next Chapter

#phan #phanfiction #phanfic #phandom #daniel howell #danisnotonfire #philip lester #phil lester #amazingphil #christy's writing #This Could be the End of Everything Fic

[heyheyitsstillgay]

I'm literally begging you to spill the tea on b*tch h*rtman why does everyone hate him

Me?? You're leaving this responsibility to Me?? Oof.

Aight.

Season 3 bad

Butch is very much an ideas person. After Steve Marmel left the show just went downhill. There was one writer that wanted it to go the grey ghost angle and another who wanted amethyst ocean and it just didn't work and then it got cancelled so the end relationship was so rushed it was terrible.

Changed the lore of his show half way through

So this is mostly Nick's fault, they thought the show being about ghosts was too gritty and they agreed to change it from being about real dead people who were once alive to monsters from another dimension. This is the change that Steve marmel was fired over iirc. Now we have ghost tornados. You can't just change lore like that half way through. Some people think that because he was born again midway through dp that he wanted this change to the lore so the dp universe wouldn't go against the bible's teachings. We don't know that for sure though.

Like JK Rowling returning with needless headcanons except they're not even an attempt at rep it's just "Jazz replaced her life and ambitions with being a lonely woman in a chair, while Maddie becomes a ghost pimp and Jack replaced half his body with robotics."

Remember how he destroyed Vlads character in PP? He still does it. It's like he doesn't remember his own show. In a 10 years later video, Jazz is completely out of character and the family is just okay with Maddie walking around with ghost slaves on leashes. The Fentons are genius' in their own right. And he's reduced them to Danny's sidekicks.

Doesn't appreciate his employees

See these quote tweets when fop was given a reboot he toasted to himself and God while surrounded by the artists that massively helped him to make the show.

Voted trump

He apparently regrets it but still follows trumps family and a collection of far right people

Transphobic

In 107 facts about Danny Phantom fact 94 at 17:00 sticks out like a sore thumb. At the time, trans Danny theories were making the rounds on Tumblr. He'd already denied it was true. A lot of the theories draw Danny in his swimwear because his vest looks a lot like a full length binder and he's the only guy at the pool not showing his chest. The fact states he's said before that it's because of sunburns. It was in an audio interview a while ago where the interviewer suggested that that could be the reason and he decided it was canon then and there. It wasn't true while the show was being made. It's a question of if it's a coincidence that this video was released around peak trans Danny theory time.

There's also this screenshot of a deleted tweet that he never apologised for.

And the episode of fop with reversed gender roles treats men doing traditionally feminine things as a big joke.

Evoked ship wars that made fandom a space for arguements and anger

To summarise, he had a blog platform where people would post art. Most ship stuff was amethyst ocean and then p*mpus p*p existed, he scolded people not because it's an underage ship but because it made him look bad. People responded saying he was just homophobic. It split the phandom in half.

This shows recounts of the war

And this is a summary

Oaxis scam

Oaxis was a family friendly streaming service that he started a Kickstarter for. Here's a good post that went around at the time that talks about it. In the end he surpassed his goal last minute thanks to thousands of dollars donated suddenly by Christians and Churches.

People who didn't realise what they invested in were unable to get their money back and are still waiting for their promised cameos in original shows according to high tier rewards.

The 'family friendly network' (that was all the info given) was actually going to be a Christian streaming service combining Netflix and YouTube. You can upload your own content or stream original content. If the content you upload isn't Christian Approved(tm) then real people would take down the video.

Here's a video of when he went around speaking to churches and actually explaining his thoughts and goals with Oaxis. Hes also disrespectful of mental illness in this video, claiming that violent media is to blame.

Big headed

He's just so full of himself, I watched 1 of his shows, that wasn't my whole childhood. Most animators draw themselves jokingly and then he is very flattering towards himself. He changed his name from Elmer to Butch I mean what more do you need. He thinks God put him on Earth to spread the Lords message via his media following.

He made some of those racist Ugandan knuckles memes

He did edit a video of people doing a racist Ugandan impression, I can't find it I think he deleted it without an apology. I did find this though.

He steals tweets from people

A dp meme page he follows

This even has the exact same tv photo

Then this was followed by this

Refuses to take criticism

He thinks that people call him out because they're trying to take him down.

He only accepts critique from people who have similar accomplishments to himself

'Jokingly' blamed Tara Strong for her best friends suicide

Tara was friends with Mary who previously voiced Timmy Turner, here Elmer says that Mary killed herself because Tara replaced her.

Supports the idea that autism can be cured

He and his wife held a seminar with a collection of people who had mental or physical illnesses that they believed were cured by God. One of them was someone who apparently used to be autistic but is all better now thanks to the Lord. Stuff like this supports the idea that autism is awful and needs to be cured, this is harmful to autistic people.

Doesn't pay his artists and uses friendship to get cheap labour

KurotheArtist collaborated with butch for a while, animating some of his videos and providing ideas and helping with scripts for ones like the draw my life story. Butch is in breach of contract and owes Kuro $1400 for his work on the ImagiNathan project that was later cancelled. Kuro made a video about this which also mentions the whole "curing autism with prayer" as his reason for finally talking about it publicly.

Was caught tracing someone else's art for a $200 commission

His commissions are a minimum of $100. Which is a lot, most of its just for the price of his signature at the bottom tbh. It's $200 for full colour. This video came out, overlaying a picture of the character he was payed to draw over the commission image. Even using an image reference, it lines up far too well.

#elmer #hartman #hartman discourse // #danny phantom #suicide mention // #pp discourse // #believe what you like but all together it paints the picture of the kind of person he is - even with excuses and coincidences #own post #owly rambles #anon #ask #rejectbutchhartman

[spinwrites]

an evening in autumn

Danny Phantom fanfic. Summary: Now in their late teens, Dani and Valerie go on a date.

-

On a chilly autumn night, Dani dragged her companion by the wrist through the streets of downtown. They left the club and its heart-thumping music behind, and when they ducked into a dark narrow alley, Dani transformed. It lit up the graffiti splayed across the brick walls and the litter scattered around the trash cans, but she grinned, pulling her partner into a bridal carry and taking off into the sky.

“You haven’t gotten rid of the habit?” Valerie asked, tossing her hair to face the wind.

“Of flying like this? Nope!”

The dark-haired woman snorted. “I meant hiding when you transform.”

Glowing green eyes flickered towards her. “I know halfas aren’t a secret now, but I can’t do anything about it,” Dani said, turning her gaze back towards her destination, “so I still wanna keep my choice on when and where I reveal mine.”

Valerie hummed in understanding and craned her neck, trying to follow her line of sight. Whatever Dani had her eyes on, it was at a distance her human sight could not catch. The ghost girl’s grip under her knees and shoulders were secure, so she kept her arm around Dani’s neck loose. The city lights sped past them below, the air kissing her bare skin.

“Where are we going? You know I’ve got class tomorrow morning. I can’t stay up late.”

The halfa shot her a lopsided smile. “I got it, Miss Studious. Trust me.”

Of all the places Dani would have brought her to, Valerie wasn’t expecting them to return to the college campus, much less fly towards her own dorm. Dani refused to tell her what she was up to, instead buzzing with a sort of excited energy that reminded Valerie of a boy she had once dated, once he had come out of his shell. She pushed the memories away.

When they drew nearer to the dorm’s rooftop, Valerie immediately spotted the set up in the center. A coffee table with unlit candles, and a small blue couch piled with cushions. A bouquet of flowers lay on the center of the table, next to chips, two empty glasses and a bottle. She gaped.

“Are those from the student lounge?”

Green tinted Dani’s cheeks as she set her down next to the table and couch. “Nobody’s gonna miss some furniture for a couple hours.” Still floating in the air, she dashed towards the candles and lit them up, one by one, with a little green flame at the tip of her index finger.

“Wow,” Valerie said, joining the halfa as she sunk into the couch with a bounce. “This is… when did you even have the time to do this?”

“When you were busy in the bathroom,” Dani said, transforming back. Without her spectral glow, the candle flame glowed brighter, spilling a warm hue onto the furniture. She picked up the bouquet and pressed it into Valerie’s hands. The flowers were pretty, but she didn’t recognize them, and they were haphazardly wrapped together in mesh paper and tape. Dani saw her looking, and she rubbed her neck with a hand. “I picked them from the outskirts because I thought they looked nice. I don’t really know anything about flower arrangement—”

“No, no,” Valerie said, her smile growing, “this is amazing.”

Dani beamed.

They popped open the bottle, which turned out to be apple cider (I’m broke as hell, Dani told her, though she froze over the exterior of it to cool it down). Pouring it into the glasses, they talked into the night. About college, which Dani couldn’t stop asking questions on. About the stars they could see in the sky, whose stories behind their constellations Valerie listened to, as the halfa elaborated with a lot of gesturing and a faint glow to the freckles on her cheek.

When there was a lull in conversation, Dani pulled out a packet of what looked like green powder and dumped it into her own cider.

“What,” Valerie said as the halfa downed it in a gulp.

Dani burst out laughing. “You know catnip? But like, for ghosts.” She rubbed the side of the glass to her face and closed her eyes. “Oh man, so good.”

Valerie blinked in surprise when she opened bright green eyes instead of blue. “Do I want to know where you got it from?”

“No, but hey, what do you think of Danielle Ferron?”

“What?”

“Too lame. Danielle Fabianski? Ugh, that’s sketchy. Danielle… Ferrufino!”

“Where is this coming from?” Valerie laughed. Dani poured more of the catnip – ghost nip? – into her glass, swirling the cider in it furiously.

“Okay, that’s probably enough.” Valerie made a grab for the packet.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Dani whined, holding it out of reach. “Tell me what you think of Dani Ferrari.”

“God-awful.”

They went back and forth, but as the night drew on, Valerie could tell Dani was no longer very coherent. She was also glowing and floating an inch above the couch, despite being in human form.

Valerie reached out and snagged at the girl’s wrist. “I think it’s time to call it a night.”

“No.” Dani straightened and wobbled in the air. “Maybe. I’ll— I’ll float you back.”

They set their things down, though Valerie held on to the bouquet just as Dani turned them intangible. The halfa was aware enough to drift them into the right room, and they popped back to tangibility.

“Dani?”

Valerie spun around. Her roommate was sitting at her desk with an open book, teal eyes wide in surprise. Valerie had completely forgotten about her. She looked back at Dani, who was staring at Jazz Fenton with brows furrowed in confusion and something else.

Oh boy.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in a different state? Wait, never mind. I’m outta here.” Dani took a step towards the window, but she stumbled.

Jazz stood up. “Are you okay?”

“Maybe you should sit down,” Valerie said quickly, pulling the halfa to her bed.

Dani sat, blinking slowly. Jazz glanced between them, at the flowers in Valerie’s hold and her other hand on Dani’s wrist. Her eyebrows rose. Then she turned to the halfa. “Are you high on ghost nip?”

“No.”

“Right. Look, you can lay down and take some time for the effects to wear off. Danny wasn’t very stable as well when he was exposed to it-”

“I don’t want you or your brother’s help.”

“Dani, just lie down,” Valerie murmured.

The halfa groaned, then she flopped onto her back. She wouldn’t face Jazz’s direction.

Jazz’s shoulders slumped. “I have to go wash up. I’ll see you around.” Then she turned and left the room, the door drifting closed behind her with a quiet thud.

Valerie sat down next to her date. Dani stared at the ceiling, bright green eyes far away. The glow to her freckles had faded, along with her enthusiasm she had held throughout the night.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on between you and the Fentons?”

“It’s stupid.”

“It’s because of Danny, isn’t it? About him revealing his identity in front of the world?”

Dani’s gaze slid to her, watching her. “How’d you guess?”

“He revealed my identity too. As Red Huntress. In front of my dad. But what’s this got to do with the rest of his family?”

“It’s just— Danny never realized how much of a thing I had going for me, y’know? After I left Amity, I had a job. Helped out a nice old man with his café, and I made friends with all the customers. Then stupid Danny went to international TV and told everyone who he was.

“People kept thinking I’m related to him, especially if Dani Phantom shows up nearby. They think I’m like him, brave or… or heroic, or something.”

Valerie stayed quiet.

“All my life, he’s had what I want. A family, Vlad’s approval, and— I dunno, I just—” Dani took a shuddering breath. “I don’t feel like my own person, or like I’m in control of anything. I dunno. I tried staying in Amity for a bit but I guess seeing the Fentons just brought back some memories.”

“And you’ve been holding this in since the Disasteroid?”

“It’s dumb.”

“It’s not.” Valerie frowned. “Tell me these things, girl. I’ll listen. And I get it.”

“Really?”

“Why do you think I left Amity Park? It’s not just ‘cause of college. After Danny saved the world, people hated the Red Huntress. I’m not saying he shouldn’t have done any of what he did, because the guy tries his best, but.” Valerie shrugged. “Sometimes we just… get left behind. Are you crying?”

“No.” Dani sniffled. Valerie patted her arm.

“Sorry I ruined our date. It was supposed to be fun but then I just had to eat that powder.”

“Don’t be. It was fun.” Valerie held up the flowers. “And sweet. And Jazz Fenton can stop eavesdropping outside the door.”

A guilty-looking Jazz poked her head in. She plodded over, her hands behind her back. “Sorry.”

Dani sat up and rubbed her eyes. “It’s okay.”

“Would you… would you ever want to come back? For a visit? Maybe we could talk to Danny, or our parents. I know my brother’s been asking after you, but none of us ever heard any news.”

A part of Dani wanted to return, Valerie could tell. So did she.

The halfa shook her head. “Maybe someday.”

Sitting down on the other side of the bed, Jazz smiled in the gentle way she saved for her little brother. “Okay, but you’re still welcome in this dorm anytime. Don’t let me stop you from picking up Valerie for midnight escapades.”

“Hey!” Valerie laughed. Dani cracked a smile.

One day, they would return to Amity Park. But today, they would simply enjoy the present.

-

Written: 25 Sept 2019 | Edited: 4 May 2020 | Phandom Bingo 2019: Vengeful Babes, post-reveal, dual obsession space AU, ghost nip, Jazz’s college

#one shot #phandom bingo 2019 #dp dani #dp valerie #dp jazz #vengeful babes #fanfiction

[danfanciesphil]

Proceeding From Here

Hello my lovelies,

Since the Big Day of Dan’s coming out video, I’ve gotten a lot of questions from you all about whether or not I’m going to continue to be active in the phandom, and whether I’ll still be writing phanfiction. I know, of course, that Dan’s coming out was a huge turning point for everyone that supports him (and obviously for him as well), but I have been especially conflicted in the aftermath for a number of reasons. Suffice it to say that, after a lot of thought, I’ve decided to step back from writing fanfiction about Dan and Phil for the time being. This is not to say I will never return, because honestly I feel we are all floundering right now, nobody knows what the future of being a Dan and Phil fan will be; their content could remain relatively the same, or it could drastically change. I would like to wait a while and see where this new information and possible rebrand takes us. 

To explain myself a bit more, the reason I feel that I need to stop writing phanfiction for the time being is this: it is obvious to me since Dan’s video that Dan and Phil are currently, and always have been, romantically connected. Until now, I realise that I didn’t honestly believe that to be true. I really, really hoped it was true, and I used this blog and my writing to fantasise that it could be true, because their relationship (regardless of romantic overtones) is absurdly, wildly beautiful in a soulmate kind of way - which is why they are so amazing as a duo. To find out that the things I have been writing about - essentially my own prettily worded daydreams - are real is shocking and bizarre. It’s like finding out the dreams you’ve been having for years are really happening somewhere on the planet. Knowing that their relationship is genuine completely transforms my attitude to writing about them, particularly as I respect the two men so much, and would never want to accidentally cross any boundary by speculating on something that as Dan said they prefer to keep private. You could argue that I was doing this anyway of course, even before Dan admitted the truth, but my justification for writing the stuff I write has always been that on numerous occasions, both men have said they don’t mind fanfiction being written about them, and have even read certain stories aloud during videos and livestreams. 

I no longer feel that this is a good enough reason to continue. It seems, what with everything Dan has so wonderfully shared, that he would prefer to continue a relationship with fans that is both non-invasive, and more open and honest than the one he had with us before. 

Don’t get me wrong, knowing that Dan and Phil’s relationship is not pure phandom-hive-mind fantasy is absolutely amazing. It makes be absurdly happy to know that they do really have each other in every respect, as best friends, as business partners, and as life partners as well. I am so so glad for them, and I do not regret a moment of this blog and the support I have given them, as I truly feel everything we do as a phandom (aside from the old sucky invasive stuff) has led to building Dan’s confidence enough that he could share his true self with us all. I have no plans to leave the phandom entirely at the moment, but I do think I’ll be taking a significant step backwards, mostly to allow Dan space to put forth his intentions as a creator moving forwards, and to establish what sort of fan I should be in order to give him the best support and encouragement that I can. 

I hope you all understand, and I love every single one of you. 

Ellen xxxx

P.S. This is my opinion alone. I have no qualms whatsoever about anyone else’s decision to continue writing about phan. In fact, if you feel comfortable with it, I’m a huge supporter of fanfiction as a creative outlet and Dan has, as far as we know, stated that he is too. 

P.P.S. My existing phanfiction is not going anywhere. You will still be able to access everything I have already written. 

#please read the p.s. before you come for me haha #i honestly do love you all so much #and am so grateful for your support and kindness #this is my temporary decision #and i hope you guys understand #ellen shh

[wiccamoody]

on internet friends, vidcon, and being brave

I’ve been in fandom for over 10 years now. Despite that, I never really talked to anyone until the phandom. I made one friend in 2015 who doesn’t even watch them anymore lol and I can’t remember the last time we actually talked. But when I jumped back in ready to talk and write in late 2017 I decided maybe I’d let myself socialize or let people in. Which I did, in my own awkward way, and I’d say I now have a lot of really fucking phenomenal people in my life. 

Flash to last thursday when I got to meet three of these people who I’ve grown really close to (and on friday a fourth!!) and I immediately knew there was no going back. (For those curious or who don’t know I met @nihilismdan, @ataraxia-25, @kay-okays, and Lucy). No going back in that I spent 4 whole days with them (2 with Kay!!) and I’ve never felt so comfortable and like, accepted immediately. Of course I got to know them over the last year and a bit, but meeting irl actually does bring that to life, and it’s fucking surreal to meet people and hang out with them and just feel so together and comfortable. The beginning was awkward for me; I’m awkward, I have RBF, anxiety etc., but once it faded away it was so amazing. Amazing to wake up and know that they’re a maximum of 20 mins away on foot, to be able to spend the day together and use our single brain cell to get around and laugh almost until we pee at stupid shit. It’s so fucking comfortable you just get used to it (I would liken it to the way a lot of people felt about ii and the content stream we got then, and in the same way the hiatus hit people hard). When it all ends and you go back to real life and you don’t have those moments to look forward to everything just feels numb. Distance is hard. Goodbyes are hard. Not knowing when you’re going to physically be around each other again is hard. Skype and facetime and all that stuff exist but fuck, I started crying in LAX because I honestly had the best weekend of my life. There’s no awkwardness when you’re already friends with someone, no weird phase where you don’t know if they actually like you or not because they already know you and would have stopped talking to you ages ago if they didn’t. And idk, I’ve spent the last 5 years (and really, my entire time being in fandom) trying my best to quash my excitement, to tone it down and shut up in my “real” life because no one cares as much as I do, and I know they don’t really want to hear it. But to have that stuff in common and to have people on the same level of intensity as you, while still ofc talking about other parts of your life because that’s what friends are there for, it’s fucking amazing. As an introvert with anxiety it’s so ideal for me, so saying goodbye to these wonderful people in my life just hurts so much. It’s hard to process. I think we’ll absolutely meet again, it’s just the not knowing when that kills me. And having to go back to real life where things kind of suck (at least on my end) is like a slap in the face. It takes some getting used to again, but I guess the pain is worth the memories I have. 

Onto vidcon itself, I wanted to do a little recap. I kind of did that during my trip and to some people in DMs, but overall as someone who’s wanted to go since year 2 or 3, finally being able to do it was amazing. I have some complaints and things I’m actually really angry about, but to keep positive, for my first con ever I’m glad this one came into my life in the last minute way it did. I got to have the experiences baby me wanted, and I got to give me at 15 some closure to how she was when all this phandom stuff was thrown at her. Being able to meet queen Natalie Wynn was fucking amazing. She’s so stunning and I’m so GAY and she’s a literal icon. It was so lovely to talk to her and get a photo, I’m still shook I was in her presence at all! Meeting Dan and Phil was amazing and terrifying. I froze up, embarrassingly, and didn’t say anything I wanted to say to them. I just wanted to tell them how much they mean to me but I wasn’t able to. Which is fine. I’m trying to not beat myself up over it because I got to see them and hug them and smell them (don’t fucking come for me okay, they smell like warm men and it’s NICE OKAY) and everything that came right before and after with my friends was hilarious and perfect and wonderful. Not to mention, like 30 mins later I met Martyn and Cornelia, which tbh god fucking tier, who cares about dnp when mnc are there?? They were easy to talk to and lovely so we talked for like 3-5 mins and I’m happy we met them. And some other stuff happened at the IRL merch booth that I will never forget jaskljdlak. It was an Experience. tbh I’m still processing the entire day of Saturday lol. But it was good. A lot, but good. 

I want to go to more cons. So many more, and with friends like or who are the ones I had with me. I’m so fucking grateful and amazed this was the con to kickstart me actually going to them because it was truly the best weekend of my life. 

And going to Universal Studios in Hollywood with Julie on Sunday (especially since she didn’t know if she could come or not, and we had already said goodbye) was the cherry on top of everything. Harry Potter was my first fandom. It was the first thing to really make me feel seen, to give me an escape and a safe place to go and be myself. It was so full circle for me to go there, and I’m glad I went with someone who I love a lot. It was an amazing experience, and I could write a whole ass essay about it. I’m glad I went, and kind of in shock that it all happened really. 

As for bravery, I’m a total wuss. I’m nerdy and shy and introverted and my anxiety always gets the best of me. I’ve never flown internationally, and had only been to the States once before, and it was with my best friend and her parents. I hadn’t been on a plane in almost a decade. I was so out of my element but I really told myself to fuck off, dug into my student loans bc ya girl is broke as shit, and got myself to LA, then Anaheim, then to meet the wonderful people I did and survive the whole thing with my only panic attack the entire trip being related to meeting Dan and Phil (so like, it was expected). I’m proud of myself. When I started watching Dan and Phil I was 15, depressed without knowing it, and lost and trying to find a place to fit in. I owe it to my best friend for literally forcing me to watch them because I wouldn’t be the person I am today without her or them. I figured out my queerness, survived my worst days, am getting help, and now as a 20 year old who grew up thinking she would be trapped in the seeming hell that my life was sometimes (and still is I guess) I was brave and I’m proud of that. Idk if anyone is still reading this, but if feeling lost and stuck and scared but wanting so fucking bad to do the thing they want to do, no matter how big or small, resonates with anyone, I encourage you to do it. I believe in you, and I know you can. I never in a million years thought my life would have the last 4 days in it but it does now, and I’m grateful I was brave enough to take that leap. 

#this is a ramble #im really emo so i wrote an essay lol