eriellesudario
Erielle Sudario
Multimedia Journalist
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My top 5 JOY Podcasts that I got to work on
April 19, 2024 marks the final day as a JOY podcaster as I move towards their TikTok team. I did learn a lot when I was working with the Drive and Breakfast show, and moving on from this volunteer position is something that will be missed.
On my last day, I was informed that I'd uploaded over 160 episodes since the start of 2024, and somehow broke a record in January by uploading the most episodes in a month due to a three-month backlog.
So with my final episodes uploaded, here are my favourite episodes that I've worked on for the community radio station.
Honorable mentions
As mentioned earlier, I uploaded over 160 episodes for JOY Drive and Breakfast. So it's hard to pick my absolute faves. So before I list down my top 5 episodes, here are my other picks that are worthy to be on this list (in no particular order).
JOY DRIVE | Sean Dooley – Bird inspo for Mardi Gras costumes (Feb 28, 2024) - LISTEN HERE
JOY DRIVE | Could celebrities be held liable for their punctuality? (Jan 25, 2024) - LISTEN HERE
JOY DRIVE | Lauren Rosewarne – Taylor Swift and the Right Wing conspiracy (Feb 3, 2024) - LISTEN HERE
JOY BREAKFAST | Brendan MacLean releases a spicy new song, The Front (Dec 8, 2023) - LISTEN HERE
JOY BREAKFAST | How to survive the festive season with the family? (Nov 30, 2023) - LISTEN HERE
My Top JOY Podcasts
As you can see, many of JOY's podcasts are educational, yet somewhat entertaining. It introduces listeners to new ideas, and songs, as well as keeps them informed about what's going on in the world. But at the same time, some of the episodes I've worked on left some great memories when I was working on them, which is why I created this fun list.
5. Daily Dorris Day (Nov 24, 2023)
Show Link
The Daily Dorris Day episode was really fun to work on. I got to learn more about this music artist from the past and I somewhat reacted in a positive way when I heard the name again outside of JOY.
4. Do same-sex couples divide household chores more fairly? (Jan 22, 2024)
Show Link
When I was working on this episode, my boyfriend overheard the episode and it sparked a conversation about our roles at home. At the same time, I remember getting recognition for my work for the first time on-air when this episode dropped.
3. The JOY Breakfast Festive Decorations MASS Debate (Nov 20, 2023)
Show link
This was one of my favourite episodes that I got to work on when I was with JOY Breakfast. It was a compilation of various staff members' and listeners' comments about festive decorations and when it's a good time to leave them up and take them down.
As a Filipino, my take on this is - put it up in September, put it down 1 week after the new year.
2. The facts behind 5 water myths (Jan 20, 2024)
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Show Link
What made this JOY Drive episode memorable is that, despite it being in my backlog queue, it was published immediately due to a request of a fan. One of JOY's listeners emailed the Drive team, asking for the episode so I did my best to ensure it was worked on immediately.
Other than that, it was a fun and educational episode about drinking water. It reminded me of the r/Hydrohomies subreddit that I was so tempted to put a little reference to ProZ's video about that social media group in the episode's title or description.
1. Venice Qin – Debut EP “Alien” (Feb 8, 2024)
instagram
Show Link
This podcast episode was an interview with Australian artist, Venice Quin about her debut EP. I liked the song so much that I added it to my yearly roundup playlist on Spotify. But what made this episode memorable was how I was able to talk about it on JOY Daytimes as the song was going to be played next on air so I got to introduce the track live on the radio. What a great way to have my JOY Radio debut.
These are some of my favorite episodes I got to work with JOY Drive and Breakfast. I wish the next person luck once they get started on these shows. As for me, I can't wait to showcase my video production and social media skills via JOY's TikTok. If you want to listen to these shows, you can find them via the JOY Media website.
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Out of all the songs in The Tortured Poets Department, "The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived" resonates with me
image via ABC Australia
@taylorswift released The Tortured Poets Department and it is a good album. I started crying when I was listening to it at work. But out of all the songs that were in this album, one song stuck with me. That is track 14 - The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.
The reason why I'm talking about this song is because, for some reason, many of the lyrics almost reflect to that time, the time I learned the truth about an ex-friend of mine and their darkest secret that they tried to hide for 2 years.
This song brought back memories and old feelings that I thought I had sorted through. Turns out, that was kinda true.
For context: last year, I released this blog post where I talked about my emotional ordeal after learning about my ex-friend's crime. Since those events, our entire friendship group fell apart to the point where we didn't want to be associated with each other anymore. And when people ask what happens, it's either we don't talk about it, say mean things about each other, and in rare cases, address the truth. And that makes sense because the truth was the hardest part to accept. That this person lied and it made us realize we all suck at being friends and we can't trust each other anymore.
I thought that listening to 1989 (Taylor's Version) and RED (Taylor's Version) was enough to help me process what happened. But in order for me to reach acceptance, I needed to listen to this track.
My interpretation of TSMWEL is about learning the truth about someone. Someone who tried to hide something and now, they can't look at them the same. This is evident through the song's lyrics. Many of them somewhat aligned with the events that happened last year.
Verse 1 - Learning the truth
Was any of it true?
Gazing at me starry-eyed
In your Jehovah's Witness suit
Who the fuck was that guy?
You tried to buy some pills
From a friend of friends of mine
They just ghosted you
Now you know what it feels like
To me, this is someone learning the truth and wanting confirmation if it is true or not. Interestingly enough, this verse aligned well with many of the things that happened not only between me and this person, but also what happened with our friendship group. Learning about this person's crimes pretty much brought back memories and drama from the past, it felt like history was repeating itself, but this time, it was happening to them.
Verse 3 - Anger
While verse 2 didn't have a stronger resonance in terms of our friendship group's downfall and this person's actions, the last verse made up for it. Most specifically, these lines:
In fifty years will all this be declassified
And you'll confess why you did it
And I'll say, "Good riddance"
and
I would've died for your sins
Instead I just died inside
And you deserve prison, but you won't get time
To me, this feels like I dodged a massive bullet. At the same time, it's the anger and acceptance that I've felt when learning what this person did. When they argued that "it was a huge misunderstanding" and that they didn't tell anyone because people would turn on them, a part of me wanted to feel bad for this person. Remember, this person was defined as a "really awesome dude" and nobody wanted to believe this happened. I would have defended this person but what they did isn't something to shove underneath the rug.
It also didn't help that at the time, there was a lot of peer pressure to unfriend and block this person. My personal Facebook friend list was shared on our group chat since I was the last person who found out about the news, so it made sense that my friend list was brought up.
The Chorus - Timelines align
Another thing worth talking about is the chorus:
And I don't even want you back, I just want to know
If rusting my sparkling summer was the goal
And I don't miss what we had, but could someone give
A message to the smallest man who ever lived?
Living in Australia, the summer in the northern hemisphere is winter down under. So timeline-wise, it makes sense. And to those being really pedantic about it, yes, May is autumn in Australia, but Melbourne is really cold so it does feel like winter. Also, the events happened during the final week of May, so technically, we're approaching winter).
Personally, this feels like something I would like to say to the person or to those still associated with them (because apparently, some still want to be connected with this person). This feels like I wanted to have a final chat to close the books or a final chance of closure. But at the same time, I don't want to talk to them. What they did is wrong and I should make peace with it. But just like the last lines of the chorus, I'm using this essay as a way for me to "send a message to the smallest man who ever lived."
The final lines
Lastly, I want to talk about the final lines of the son
You kicked out the stage lights, but you're still performing
And in plain sight you hid
But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived
This person lied and pretended for TWO WHOLE YEARS. They acted, even when people found out, that they did nothing wrong. All the evidence was easily available through Google but none of us did the research. Interestingly enough, that is how many of us found out. One of our mutuals literally Google searched their name and there it was, in plain sight, and none of us knew about it.
At some point, I will forget this person. Right now, I don't mention his name as it's something worth forgetting. I'm also starting to forget what this person looks like. But it's hard to forgive someone who did something this bad.
I highly doubt we'll see each other again, especially due to the severity of their actions and Australia's Border Security. But The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived is the perfect song to help me finalise and process how I truly feel about this person. Many of the lyrics aligned with the events that unfolded last year, making it the perfect song to look back, reflect, and eventually, move on.
My final message to The Smallest Guy Who Ever Lived
So to The Smallest Guy Who Ever Lived in my life, I hope there will come a day when we do cross paths, but I won't turn back as I would no longer recognize you. I hope that when you approach me, I see you as this random stranger on the street, and that bad gut feeling that I had back in 2017 will kick in, warning me to leave in peace. After all, there is no point in fixing all of this.
#2024#long post#the tortured poets department#taylor swift#ex-friends#friendships#the smallest man who ever lived
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Review: News Tower - Living vicariously in a stable career
RATING: 4/5 Stars
Played on: AMD 5 5600X and RTX 3060 Ti 6GB
Entering the journalism field is hard. While I was lucky to get a 2-year contract with a national broadcaster when I was in uni, getting my foot in the door became so much more difficult, especially when companies keep changing the goalposts. Not to mention, the constant amount of layoffs that occurred across the world. So, you can imagine my intrigue when there is an indie game that showcases a time when the journalism field wasn't that bad.
This is my review of News Tower, a fun journalism business sim that's somewhat reminiscent of 1930s America.
News Tower is a PC game developed by Sparrow Night and published by Twin Sails Interactive. While the developers are from Rotterdam in the Netherlands, it managed to showcase the 1930s American aesthetic that we're somewhat familiar with and what journalism was like in the past.
In this game, you play as the editor-in-chief or boss of your family's newspaper company in the USA. It is in shambles and it's up to you to restore it to a functioning state. You will be hiring employees, not just journos, and will be tasked to send them to report on topics based on what your communications team picked up. From elections to film reviews, you have it all.
Each employee you hire will be an expert in three skills/topics and you can raise their knowledge-base levels through experience or items in the office. This applies to journalists, cleaners, typewriters, lawyers, and the rest of the newspaper staff.
The game is also a business simulator, so you will have to manage the well-being of your employees, as well as other factors like rioters destroying and trashing equipment and trashing the place and paper stock. So expect to micromanage everything.
Each round lasts for a "week." After each job, you will be assessed on how well you did via the earnings overview. Did you make advertisers happy? Are the quality of your stories good or sloppy? Did you take out loans? All of that is showcased at the end.
The reason why I say "week" is because each "round" is technically a month. Once the round ends, you enter a brand new month.
If you're wondering why my screenshots are weird, that's because the graphics settings were hard to navigate. While it did offer different screen ratios so it suits many devices, finding the settings for my monitor (1440p) was seriously buried.
What I like about the game is that you also have the freedom to do whatever you want, despite the micromanagement aspects. You can tackle stories of your choosing or produce content that will attract readers. You also have the opportunity to work with three "influences," all of which could play a role in what you can and can not cover. For example, you may be required to lie to your readers or produce certain types of stories. If you can complete these tasks, you will be heavily rewarded.
Either way, it is up to you on what gets reported and how you layout your newspaper. But just like in the real world, you need to know your audience and if you want to get the funding, you need to bow down to your sponsors.
Sadly, this game only offers at least 3 hours of game time. You start the game in 1930, but it ends once you complete December 1932. Is it possible to unlock everything on the map with that limited time? Maybe. But if you're going to be a full-on completionist, good luck with that as the jobs you get to report on are randomized. Meaning that the mafia story that you needed to cover may not even happen because it didn't pop up until the very last minute. Or if you're trying to attract readers in a certain area, it may take a few attempts before you're able to make everyone happy.
These tasks and readers give you influence points, that you can use to unlock items. But like I said earlier, you only have 2 years' worth of gameplay that only lasts for 3 hours. So there is a high chance you may not be able to unlock everything during your first or second attempt.
The reason for this is because News Tower is still in early access, and the devs plan to release "Endless mode" at some point, as well as other fun features. While it is understandable, it kinda felt like the game is teasing us. For example, News Tower says you could accept jobs outside of America. But unfortunately, you can't unlock those places yet (at the time of writing).
Overall, the game has potential and is very well-built. The music and aesthetic really do really encapsulate that 1930s America. However, due to the limited gameplay that you're given, as well as the locked features, it feels like the game is teasing you to start a new save file over and over again. This is a shame because I want to be the next Rupert Murdoch in my game but that can't be achieved at the time being.
But maybe those locked features are what make this game addictive and how it lures you back in. It triggers that part of your brain to try and try again. I look forward to Endless Mode once it comes out. But for now, this will do.
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In case you didn't know, I'm a volunteer podcast producer for JOY Media in Melbourne, Australia.
Glad to see that my efforts to upload their backlog was recognized on air.
To hear more of my work with this station, go here.
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Review: The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes showcases a post-war Panem, but also has some flaws
Rating: 3.5 / 5 stars
Thanks to Australian Timezones, I got to watch The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes really early. As someone who watched the original films and have read to books (exept the Prequel due to reasons, but I have read the first few chapters of it), I have some thoughts.
Note: spoilers ahead. But here is a TLDR version via Letterboxd
The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes really pays homage to the original films and their source material. While it was set many years in the past, we got to witness a different side of Panem's capital city - The Capitol, from a glimpse of what it was like during The Dark Days to its progress of it being restored.
Tom Blyth and Rachel Zegler did an amazing job playing Coriolanus Snow and Lucy Gray Baird. This District 12 Tribute has more personality compared to Katniss and is more manipulative in my opinion. She surely did swoon the hearts of the capitol, especially Snow. As expected, her fate remains a mystery and everything about her feels like the basic foundation of what Katniss ends up being.
Snow, meanwhile, is a young and innocent boy, but we get to watch him change during his time in The Hunger Games and his time at District 12 as a Peacekeeper. Also, we are introduced to his remaining family - Tigris and his Grandma'am and how these two family members view the Capitol and Panem based on their interactions with Snow.
I would also like to give praise to Viola Davis and Peter Dinklage, who played Dr Gaul and Casca Highbottom, respectively. Seeing these renowned actors play these compelling characters in this YA Dystopian is amazing and based on what I've read so far and heard about these characters, I wouldn't have it any other way.
What's cool about this film are the easter eggs. Unlike other films, where references to its predecessor are just there to pull off that one Spongebob or Leonardo DiCaprio meme of them pointing to the screen, the references somewhat play a role in Snow's development as a character, why he holds so much resentment on certain things, etc, etc. You wouldn't believe my shock when the word "Katniss" was uttered, but it was referencing the plant, not the person. Although, it also meant that, for what, 50+ years, President Snow held a grudge against a tribute he helped mentor and win The Hunger Games.
However, there were some issues I had about this latest Lionsgate picture that, it's not really a huge issue but I do question these choices.
For starters, the film was divided into three parts. It's one whole movie, but contains three chapters, something that I wasn't expecting. NGL, it felt like I was watching Part 2 of Part 2 of The Final Season of Attack on Titan. While I have heard rumours that this film was originally planned to be split into multiple parts, I'm glad that wasn't the case. While some thought the film felt rushed, I didn't think that was the case. Although, I did wish we got to see adult President Snow as a cameo. All we got was that one line that was uttered during Mockingjay: Part 1 on a blank screen.
Also, there was so much singing in this film to the point where I was like "Is this a musical?" I get it's because Lucy Gray Baird is part of the Covey (a nomadic singing group), but throughout the film, there are at least 2 songs in each "Part" or "Chapter."
If there is one thing that I like about Ballads of Songbirds and Snakes, it's that it opened doors to showcase the world of Panem through a different lens. In the original films, we saw it as a country under dictatorship and how everyone was fighting for democracy and ending the games. In the prequel, we see it as a nation rebuilding itself and figuring out how to punish the districts. This just means that later stories about different Hunger Games eras (if there will be one) could showcase more of the world of Panem. And while I kinda understand why Coriolanus Snow's backstory isn't something that many fans ask for, it is a launch pad for different possibilities.
I want a sequel where we get to see Snow's development under Gaul and how Mags won her games, which led to the success that we see in the main film. I want Lionsgate to take inspiration from the existing fan videos and give a full adaptation of Haymitch's games as a way to give more context to the Quarter Quell. I want to see a film about Finnick or Johanna's victories and how it focuses on how the Capitol treats its victors after the victory, how they're exploited due to their looks, and how one went through with it, and the other rejected it, which led to punishment.
However, I also hope that this doesn't open doors for The Hunger Games franchise to be milked to the point where it's terrible (looking at you Harry Potter).
Overall, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes gave an interesting view of Panem, what the country was like during its restoration period, and how the games were yet to be a spectacle. We got to witness what the people in the Capitol are like and their prejudices against the districts stem from such a young age. At the same time, it opens doors for future possibilities in telling Panem's story.
Now if you excuse me, time to finally give the book version a proper read.
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Review: Five Nights at Freddy's (2023) - I actually enjoyed it
RATING: 3.5 out of 5
Warning: this review contains spoilers for the 2023 Five Nights at Freddy's film
For those who have been living under a rock, Five Nights at Freddy's is a 2014 indie horror video game that went through development hell after a film adaptation was announced. After years of waiting, plus it being passed down from Warner Bros to Blumhouse, the movie is now showing in theatres and Peacock.
As of writing, the 2023 film adaptation of Five Nights At Freddy's has an average critic score of 26 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. Regardless of what those film snobs say, I actually enjoyed this horror flick. Sure it has its flaws, but for a film adaptation, I think it did a pretty good job.
Warning, I will be spoiling the film and the games, so if you want to watch it blind, steer clear for now.
The film has a proper plot
This movie has a plot, like a real working plot. And no, it's not convoluted compared to the mess that's the franchise's lore. It's about a night security guard who's at risk of losing his sister. To prove that he could still have custody of her, he took on the job as the night guard for an abandoned Pizzaria from the 80's. Little did he know that this was no ordinary night shift gig.
What Blumhouse and Scott Cawthon have done to present this game in movie form was great. It took parts of the first two games, as well as sprinkling in aspects from later titles and the books, to create a cohesive story. The best way to watch this movie is to view it as its own thing. Because if you're going to watch this and find ways to connect the movie to the game's story, many things really don't make sense.
The cast
Five Nights at Freddy's has a tremendous cast. While most of the people featured were smaller actors who appeared in one minor role in TV shows or unknown films, Matthew Lillard and Josh Hutcherson did a tremendous job performing the franchise's iconic characters, William Afton and Mike Schmidt.
Mike has a personality, rather than just a boring character we play as in the first game. Meanwhile, we see William as this cunning character, who managed to fool so many people, to the point he had a different alias.
The children also did an amazing job, even if we rarely see them. They act all scary and not so innocent. Even Mike's sister, Abby (played by Piper Rubio) was shrouded in mystery. She's no ordinary kid, even if she does look like it. Why is she not like the other kids? What's with the drawings? So many questions that my first theory was that she was psychic.
Speaking of theories... MATPAT WAS IN IT!!!! That guy lied to everyone on the internet, only for it to be revealed that he had a minor cameo and said the line. And it's not just him. A few YouTubers were featured and Markiplier could have been in it if it wasn't for scheduling issues.
If there was one character I didn't like, it was Vanessa. Played by Elizabeth Lail, her job was to warn Mike about the dangers of the Pizzaria but wouldn't explain why due to "reasons" explained in the film's climax. The moment that happened, I was like "Okay, that checks out." Blumhouse's decision to implement a character that was introduced in Security Breach was an odd choice. I can somewhat see why it was made, however, its execution made it feel corny at most.
My thoughts on the film
In all honesty, Five Nights At Freddy's isn't like other great video game adaptations, like HBO's The Last of Us or Illuminations' The Super Mario Bros. However, it's pretty clear that so much love and attention was given to this project. And to be fair, that's to be expected since it's a Blumhouse production.
While it is branded as a horror movie, it felt like I was watching M3GAN all over again. Lots of comedy and the push of the importance of family. Some paranormal stuff here and there, easter eggs from the original games, while also coming up with something original. And I think that's the problem with this film.
Unlike Super Mario Bros, which barely had any lore, Five Nights At Freddy's has a story that spans many of its titles, including children's activity books. If viewed as a standalone story, it's fine. But let's be real, those who will be watching this movie on opening weekend are Five Nights At Freddy's fans. The film did reference stuff from the original story, but many changes were made which had many, including me, reacting with "that wasn't in the games at all." I watched this picture with my boyfriend and he was like "Can you explain x" and I had to tell him "Sorry dude, that's an original thing. Didn't see it in the games."
Regardless, I did enjoy the final product and how it gave some tribute to the content creators that boosted the franchise's popularity. It's still a good film, just expect some head scratches and camp. I bet Matpat is working on something to connect the movie to the overall lore.
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Here is an entry to my new tech blog, where I shared my experience swapping to Android.
From Biting Apples to Embracing Galaxies: My Switch to Samsung
For more than a decade, I've always been using the Apple eco-system. My first modern phone was the iPhone 5 in 2012 and it lasted for a couple of years until I upgraded to the iPhone 10 in 2017 after convincing my father that my phone was dying.
The proof: this photo of my phone bricking every 20 minutes when installing a new iOS when I was in university.
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As time passed, the iPhone X has survived numerous trips overseas, journalism jobs, freelancing gigs, concerts, and dating attempts. But like all tech devices, this one is about to reach its end after an incident where it wouldn't turn on properly when it was being charged.
I had two options: wait for the iPhone 15 to come out or move to Samsung. And based on the article, it's quite obvious what happened next.
One last bite of the Apple - why I love the iPhone
Moving to a Galaxy device has to be the hardest decision I've ever made. My original plan was to save $2000 for a brand new Apple product because the Apple ecosystem is pretty good. I can copy a link or photo on my phone and paste it on my Macbook.
Airdrop is pretty convenient. Also, my entire family became Apple snobs ever since the release of Airpods.
Also, since I moved out from home, Facetime became the most used method of communication between family members because it was instant.
Another cool feature that the iPhone has is that is very easy to customize. From having an Animal Crossing dark mode theme phone to selecting a case, the choices are ripe for the picking.
Lastly, it's just very easy to use. Unless you're planning to do some complicated stuff like jailbreaking, using an iPhone as an everyday device is very simple. Left it somewhere? Use the "Find my phone" app and annoy the heck out of those who try to steal it. Want music? Drop the file into iTunes and it will sync via iCloud. It's that versatile.
But as my phone was quickly on its final breath, as well as the cost of living crisis, waiting for the iPhone 15 was no longer a valid option anymore. So I had to say goodbye to these nifty features and swap to Samsung.
What it was like making the switch
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I bought the Samsung zFlip 4 during the End of the Financial Year sale, without realising that the zFlip 5 would be released 2 months later. Big oof. The reason I got this phone is because the 512 GB model cost $1300 AUD. The case was $10 from Telstra. I got a cuter one for $100 from Caseify.
If I were to buy the iPhone 15 (or in my case, the iPhone 14 Pro), the 512 GB model would have cost me $2400 + the cost of a case and the cable for the highest speeds. In case you were unaware, the 15 models only come with USB 2 speeds. WTF?! Also, there are the MagSafe accessories like chargers, which would cost even more.
The reason I chose to get the Samsung zFlip 4 is mostly because it's a flip phone and Samsung marketed it as "bending the laws of physics." Another reason is because of BTS. As a BTS fan, mostly a Suga stan, I learned that the K-Pop star will not hold Apple devices. I remember seeing a TikTok where a fan disguised her iPhone to look like a Samsung and the rapper was shocked until he held it on stage.
I was, however, warned about getting this Samsung model from my aunt. She told me that the battery life is bad and that Apple lasts longer. And she only uses her phone for the most basic usage - calls, text, and Facebook. But based on my experience, the battery isn't that bad… unless I use it for Pokemon Sleep.
Transferring my data from an Apple to a Samsung device is easier said than done. For starters, it nearly took a whole day for the transfer process to be completed. Second, I needed to use a wireless charger for one of my devices because it took so long.
When it came to the user interface, while it's somewhat different, some similarities made using my new phone not that difficult. It perhaps took a week to get used to the new functions and gestures.
I also liked the new camera. It's much more vibrant in my opinion. Much better than the iPhone X if I'm being honest. And there were times I did try filming like it was an old camcorder due to its flip functionalities.
If I have a complaint, it's that my game saves (except for Pokemon Go and Sleep) aren't transferable. This means all that effort I've placed in Tiny Tower for a year and a bit is gone and I would need to start over because the game is synced to Apple's Game Center. However, all of my texts since my senior year of high school made their way to the new device. WTF?
Also, not all the apps transferred to the new device, which makes sense since some of them were discontinued. But finding the APKs for them became a challenge, especially for a photo editor that I've been using for years. Thanks to the subscription model, it's been removed from the app stores.
Final Thoughts
Swapping to Samsung was probably a good decision to make. For starters, I'm no longer bombarded by my family's group chat messages since I no longer live with them. Second, I can text my boyfriend photos through NORMAL TEXT, not Facebook and discord. The amount of memes I've missed during the earlier parts of our relationship due to device differences was a massive pain and now it's all convenient.
While it's a shame I no longer have access to Siri, adding songs to a Samsung device is much easier compared to Apple since it is basically like a hard drive.
I will miss the Apple ecosystem though. iCloud and Apple Notes are super handy. Airdrop is pretty cool. And the new iOS features in the latest system look super appealing. However, these features are something that I would rarely use. I just need a phone to play games, go on social media, take photos and videos, and make phone calls. I won't be making 3D models of my room.
Looking forward to spending the next 5 years with this Samsung device until I have to make the switch once more.
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Updated my Letterboxd to talk about my Barbeheimer experience.
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Got to watch 'Talk To Me' 10 days in advanced and here are my thoughts.
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A loss of a friend - a personal essay
Warning: this piece contains mentions to CP
What would you do when you learn that one of your closest friends is a not the person you thought they were?
Saturday morning. The time was 5 am.
I struggled with sleep and decided to use my phone to see what I had missed. I saw that someone had pinged me on a group chat I was in. Confused and still sleepy, I asked what was going on. They told me to look at the pinned replies, and I was shocked.
It was at that moment that I learned that a friend I had known since university had secretly hidden the fact that they were a registered sex offender.
The people in this group chat had known about it since 10 pm on Friday night. I didn't know because I had my phone on "Do not disturb," and my dad came over to visit from Sydney. During the 7 hours that I had missed, not only was that person banned from our group chat, but they were also pretty much ostracized immediately by the online community we were in.
I don't want to talk about the details of the crime. For starters, it's not my place to talk about it. Also, there are Australian defamation laws. But I will admit, I was shocked, and to this day, I'm still processing it.
However, I will say that the crime occurred in the same year when I was first introduced to them but they were arrested a few years later. At the time, they seemed pretty normal. However, I found it weird that they tried to hunt me down after watching a now-deleted YouTube video that I had made in the past.
The more we talked, the more I learned about them. We were pretty much open with each other if necessary, to the point where I developed feelings. Sure, it was wrong of me to have a crush on someone I had never met, especially someone who didn't live in my country. But after endless nights of video chats and hanging out, it felt like it was almost worth it. We even had plans to meet in person for the first time.
But alongside talking to this person, I also had a really strange and bad feeling. Perhaps it was anxiety or the overwhelming excitement of meeting someone with similar interests. This weird feeling returned once more when I started to develop feelings for this person. Added to that was a voice that screamed, telling me to run away. GTFO. This is not worth it.
It wasn't long before this person joined a group chat that I was in, and everyone had a blast with that this them. However, other people felt a similar weird feeling when they was first introduced.
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Hearing the news of your friend being listed in the sex offenders registry is pretty shocking and disturbing. Especially since people were under 18 at the time of the arrest. This person had the gall to not tell anyone, which is pretty messed up if you think about it.
Obviously, nobody wants to be associated with this person. It got even worse when someone in the group chat managed to obtain the court files with details on what this person was charged with. This information was publicly available, and none of us thought to Google this because the last thing you want to assume is that the person you're talking to online is a criminal.
Many people were heavily affected by this, including me. So much so that it affected my work, and I struggled to cope. I told my dad about it, and he told me to just let it go and forget about it, mistaking my now-ex-friend for a celebrity. But how? How could one forget someone who gave laughs and happy memories during your university days? This was someone I was looking forward to hanging out with. Heck, I trusted this person, and so did many others.
This person and I had one final conversation and tried to convince me that they were still the same when we first met. That our happy memories shouldn't overshadow the crime, hence why they didn't tell anyone. But it's still messed up, regardless. Instead of instantly cutting the bud and moving on, my head is now trying to form a timeline of events to grasp what happened.
Unfortunately, this person found out that I was talking to someone about this. They were hoping that I would keep the conversation between us. Maybe I was wrong for not being able to keep my mouth shut and telling people close to me what was said in vague terms. But this person's side of the story was even worse than the various hypotheses that the group chat made when they found out on Friday night.
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On Monday morning, I left the denial and anger stages and just felt like I wanted to cry. I felt completely heartbroken. Sure, we never dated or anything, but they were someone I was very close to. My brain was filled with multiple what-ifs, thinking of a universe where we were still ignorant about this or if they didn't commit the crime.
I was too distracted by these events that I took I take mental health leave. To this day, I still struggle to find the words to describe how I feel.
Do I feel bad for this person?
Do I feel disgusted about having feelings toward a registered sex offender?
Do I still wish to be their friend despite knowing that what they did was really bad?
This person tried to argue their way out of this and claimed that everything was a huge misunderstanding. But it doesn't negate the fact that their name is plastered on the sex offenders registry.
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A month has passed and my boyfriend took me out to meet his friends, one of whom knows the law. I showed them everything. All the chat conversations, the court files, everything, and asked if I was wrong to keep this silent. He told me that I did the right thing by speaking to someone about this, and this person shouldn't silence me. After all, they committed the crime, and there is no hiding it, especially if it's on public record.
As of writing, this person has deleted every social media account they had and completely wiped themselves off the internet, including their Tumblr account. We don't know if they will come back with a new alias. As for me, I have to live with the fact that someone I considered a really awesome close friend was a criminal, and I was a fool for not trusting my gut.
A couple months has passed and I have finally moved on. It took a while, but eventually, my mental state is much better than before. I don't think I will be seeing this person for a while, or ever at most. And you know what? That's a good thing. Some people are worth being forgotten.
#2023#self reflection#personal#personal essay#mental health#long post#ps: pls don't ask who this person is.#cw#content warning
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My entire day was exploring this new social media app.
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Ngl... if this was just a YouTube thing, I wouldn't mind.
The fact that this film made it to AMAZON of all places is what's shocking
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Come on Marvel Studios, the formation of Young Avengers shouldn't be this difficult
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Who doesn't love a good conspiracy theory
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Work hard, play hard.
Three of my Supanova Melbourne 2023 coverage made it to the front of the website.
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Got to interview 1/2 of RackaRacka's Danny Philippou about his upcoming film, Talk To Me.
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I was given the opportunity to watch a private review screening for The Super Mario Bros movie and here are my thoughts.
Spoiler - I will be watching the film again so you tell me!
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