#Heinz has three jobs now

[wait-for-it-next]

#heinz doofenshmirtz #perry the platypus #phineas and ferb #pnf #pnf doofenshmirtz #dr doofenshmirtz #doctor doofenshmirtz #doof 101 #doofenshmirtz #heinz the ocelot #Heinz has three jobs now #Secret agent / Professor / Scientist at the O.W.C.A. #professor Doof #perryshmirtz #perry #o.w.c.a. files #Don't touch the platypus #He's sleep deprived #The sunglasses make the platypus look cool #and hide the fact that he hasn't gotten enough sleep

[simp4konig]

"Can I sit here?" König X Gender-neutral Reader

Word count: 3060

*Part one?

*Slow burn?

*Strangers to Friends (to Lovers?)

Not decidedany of those yet 😶

Edited on 23/8/2023 for some grammar tweaks.

*!!Fanfic inspired by @theeggrollslord's drawing on Twitter!! I really wanted to use their art as the cover for this fanfic, but due to me not having an Twitter (or X 🤮) account, and not knowing whether the original artist consents to people reposting their art, I held back. 😿 If anyone knows whether they are able to give me permission or are cool with it, please let me know!! ☺️

*Author has played MW1 + 2... but not the newest reimagines. 😭 all I remember from the campaign is that Shepherd shot Ghost in the face,but in NO way did he look as fine as he does now ☠️☠️

*Author does NOT speak German... but can use Google Translate !!😊

As is customary with all foreigners, English is not my first language!. Pls do not bully me if my grammar  is bad i will cry 😢

König sat by himself in the cafeteria.

Three sausages, a spoonful of beans, and two eggs alongside a 500ml water bottle were all that consisted of his daily breakfast. Hash browns would be served raw, and the bagels were solid enough to break teeth when bitten into. He didn't even want to consider the sandwiches, as their stale, stinking cheese and slick ham made him gag. A pity that they didn't serve Bratwurst or order authentic — hell, even half-decent — eggs, as the meat in his sausages tasted out of date and the yolks were a dull yellow. The beans weren't even Heinz.

Looking at the cheap slop on his tray made him lose his appetite. At least the water was drinkable, but its taste was peculiar at best.

König sighed.

Every day "eating" the same breakfast, sitting in the same spot, at the same time.

To say that he enjoyed the routine of the barracks would be an overstatement, as he felt oppressed by the monotony: rigorous and thorough briefings pre-missions; intense training three times a day; shooting drills and target practice right after the sun barely opened its eye or into late hours of the evening when it was hard to see. Yet he couldn't complain, and forced himself to appreciate the predictable structure of the barracks.

After all, routine meant safety.

Knowing the details of the misson and the intel required guaranteed a flawless operation. Knowing how exactly to eliminate an opponent in any given situation meant that it made the job even easier. Knowing when to dive for cover to avoid a rain of bullets and the rumbling thunder of machine guns in an active shootout equalled survival.

And knowing that you intimidated everyone on base at least made social interactions easier. All of these extended his life expectancy, yet by how much was anyone's guess.

Being a 6'10 wall of a pure muscle made him the perfect human bulldozer, and paired with his animalistic instincts taking over while on the battlefield, he struck fear in even his own teammates.

Most of the time, König didn't even need to use a gun, as he could snap an enemy's neck faster than they could blink; and, even if they could do that, they wouldn't be able to react fast enough as he manhandled their body like a rag doll and snapped their spine in half over his knee. Quick and easy kills. Other times, frantic stabs in the abdomen, chest or neck finished with a harsh cut of the throat sufficed when sneaking, and allowed him to release any pent of frustration he felt that he wouldn't have been able to relieve through strangulation alone.

Yet, all of the time, seeing König's brutality first-hand made his teammates lose their balance and struggle to collect themselves during the mission, fearing that he would turn to indiscriminately killing anyone that had the misfortune of entering his field of vision. Compared to König's animalistic instincts taking over in an active firefight and causing bloodshed, his allies putting down enemies with a bullet to the head seemed merciful, and even kind.

Unlike friendships, killing people was easy. Keeping good relations with people was difficult enough for König to begin with — with his first hurdle being his social anxiety, and the hurdle of others being getting used to his frightening exterior — and it grew more and more into a challenge as he moved up the ranks, until his position as Colonel made him feared, not respected. People avoided his eyes, and kept conversations to a minimum, bowing their heads in fear, not respect.

After witnessing him maul enemies like a feral animal, König walking down the barracks had people scuttling away like rats in opposite directions, a horde of people dissipating in an instant. Crowded rooms with rowdy laughter suddenly were brought to silence once he made the mistake of entering, with people speaking in hushed whispers or not even speaking at all, opting to escape before their colonel addressed them.

Truth of the matter was, König never wanted to be a colonel. He'd had rather been the one receiving orders than the one making them, as his social anxiety in front of innumerable pairs of expectant eyes put pressure on him in the moment and made it near impossible to let a single word out.

He was not a natural born leader: he knew it, everyone knew it; but he kept his position solely due to his ruthlessness in action and his cold efficiency, as there was no one like him that could come close to imitating his behaviour.

Then, to say that he enjoyed the daily routine of life in the barracks was a stretch to say the least. The thrill of killing on missions and the primal adrenaline that took over his veins and clouded his senses could not be more of a contrast to this boredom and overwhelming isolation on base: of every day sitting in the same damned spot; of every day pretending to eat the same damned food; and, of every damned day being avoided by the other operators to be at a peace he was forced to accept, whether he liked it or not. What a miserable life to live.

The beans on his plate looked menacing, and he had the urge to crush each one individually until they'd stop sneering at him so, as being judged by off-brand beans was running his patience thin. Yet, he wouldn't do that, as everyone else would view him as not only a brute but a mentally unstable lunatic who was now using food scraps as an outlet for his temper; so, he resorted to just picking at the rations instead. His head was in his palm, and his gaze went elsewhere, his pale blue eyes drooping.

So engrossed in absentmindly pushing the beans on his tray with his fork and contemplating what went wrong with him that he did not hear the footsteps walking towards him.

You cleared your throat. "E-excuse me, sir, but can I sit here?"

König looked up, and saw a young recruit hovering over him with a small brown paper bag in their hands. Your face was one he hadn't seen before around here, and you weren't in the standard military uniform, so he assumed that you were perhaps a groundsperson of sorts.

Your ignorance of him was probably the only reason you dared approach him, as any other person would have avoided his table at all costs and gotten whiplash from how quickly they'd turn their head the other way. However, he was glad that he didn't intimidate everyone that encountered him, and was internally thanking you for giving him a chance. Some hope.

Feeling uncomfortable under his scrutinising stare, you tugged the collar of your t-shirt and struggle for words.

"S-sorry," you begun, sheepishly looking down at the floor. A rub of the neck and a shuffling of feet. "It's just... all of the other tables are crowded, and I don't know anyone here well. And yours—" You looked at him, shooting him a lopsided grin, "—yours is empty."

"I understand," he stated, before looking back down at the mush on his tray. "Not a problem."

You gulped, feeling like he was dismissing you, and beginning to regret approaching him. "Are you sure, sir? I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable."

Look at you, he thought, so thoughtful over his feelings. When was the last time anyone bothered to ask him how he felt, or treated him like a human being?

"Ja. I am sure."

Still standing, unsure as to how to interpret the tone of his statement, you shot him a shy smile and sat down at a reasonable distance from the man, beginning to unpack the contents of your bag.

König kept stealing glances of you from under his eyebrows, trying to be discreet. Although he actually was uncomfortable — not used to company in the slightest, especially with someone so polite and courteous — he was oddly drawn to you.

He was thankful that you were oblivious to his status around these parts, and he wanted to leave a decent first impression on you before you finally overheard the true rumours about him, and paid attention to how quiet the cafeteria had gotten now that you two were sat together.

The thing was, he didn't know where to begin.

Communication was not his strong suit. He mused over potential ways of starting a conversation, yet not only had he never been faced with a situation like this, the language barrier was ever so present. Perhaps if he could speak to you in German he'd be able to formulate his thoughts better, yet at the moment it felt like all his knowledge of English seemingly evaporated in an instant.

"You prepared well your breakfast," he stated plainly, angling for any kind of small talk. He internally cringed at the order of those words and how wrong that sentence sounded in his voice, but there was nothing he could do about it now.

An awkward smile. "—W-wow. Thank you, sir!"

König felt his chest tighten, but he didn't know why. 

"My first day on base I had the misfortune of being served breakfast," you continued, "so, from then on I decided right then and there "never again". The food—" you laughed weakly, "—sure is something."

"Du hast recht," agreed König. "I mean... You are right. If I had a dog, I never would feed it this— these... scraps."

You could sense König hungrily devouring your food with his eyes. Although he tried to be subtle, he was not good at going unnoticed. Really, stealing glances of this behemonth in front of you, you kind of pitied the man, especially when the next edible meal would be in precisely 5 hours. With his breakfast beaten and bruised into an unrecognisable pulp, it was definitely too late for him to consume.

Mourning your sandwiches, you silently bid them farewell and took a deep breath:

"Well, sir. I would assume that you're hungry."  You took out the contents from your bag and slid them in front of him, smiling meekly. "You can have my breakfast."

He looked down at your two sandwiches and his eyes visibly widened under his hood; four thick slices of sourdough bread, a generous slather of butter, cheese, rocket lettuce, and thinly sliced pieces of meat, topped with tomatoes, and most likely seasoned with spring onion and pepper.

They looked so appetising, and he felt his mouth salivate, yet he shook his head vehemently. "Nein! Ich sollte das nicht tun, nicht, wenn du dich so sehr bemüht hast!"

You tilted your head in confusion. König mentally facepalmed.

"I-I mean... you tried very hard, and it isn't right of me. They are yours."

You waved a dismissive hand. "Honestly, you need them more than me. Have them."

"Einer wird ausreichen," He shook his head again, and picked up one slowly. "One will be enough."

He reached over to take one and you looked at him expectantly, patiently waiting for him to take a bite and give you his thoughts, yet it hit you. He was wearing his mask. He probably wouldn't eat in front of you.

A cough. "S-sorry. I'll look away while you eat it. Tell me what you think about it."

König practically shoved the entire thing in his mouth the moment your back faced him and and started choking. He saw you turning back to assist, but he raised a weak hand to stop you.

Getting over his coughing fit, he could finally appreciate the freshness and the flavour of the sandwich. It tasted of... nostalgia. Like the sandwiches his Mama would make for him after school to reassure him and to take his mind off the day's events. He felt like a young boy again. When he closed his eyes, for a split-second he imagined he was in the kitchen with his mother chatting energetically, taking his plate and ruffling his hair when he had finished and feeding him another, insisting that he "was a growing boy".

"So köstlich..." he said, and was disappointed to see that the sandwich was gone from his hands, already eaten. "Mein gott, that was perfekt. A sandwich of the Gods."

You turned around and you were beaming so brightly that König swore he would need to shield his eyes from the sight.

"Thank you so much! You don't know how happy that makes me."

You looked at him, your smile unwavering. "Do you know what would make me happier?"

He gave you a blank look. "...No?"

"If you ate the other one," you said, and König's eyes widened comically. "Though, please, be careful. Sandwiches can sure be a choking hazard," you dared tease him, and was actually surprised when he let out a quiet chuckle.

After savouring his second sandwich, the two of you were quiet. Although the tension had evaporated, the silence was deafening, and you felt suffocated by the lack of conversation.

"Uhm... Sir. What is your name?" A hesitant start, your hands folded neatly in your lap. "If it isn't too much of a personal question, of course."

He deliberated for a few moments, before responding with a quiet "König."

"König," you repeated, making sure to pronounce it properly. Your eyes widened in realisation, and you smiled broadly. "That's King, in German, right? That's so funny, because I go by King!"

König froze up like a statue.

"Holy fucking shit, what are the chances?" You rambled, not realising how quiet König had become. "Honestly, what are we doing here? Where are our castles, our riches? Our chariots led by silver horses and our toilets made of 24 carat gold?"

König shrugged stiffly. "Blown up by a grenade, I suppose."

You looked at him, dumbfounded, then burst into laughter. Like, fits of giggles, too many of them and too strong for his unbelievably dry response. Maybe that's why you were laughing so hard.

Either way, König couldn't believe it at first.

It was so... beautiful. Almost angelic in a way, despite you holding yourself up with a palm on the table and unable to contain your pig-like snorts. He could get used to hearing you laugh more often.

And, just like that, he dropped his guard. Slowly, all of his stiffness melted, and he became more of his confident self, this trait only ever coming out when he was actively shooting.

The two of you spent the entire length of breakfast chatting, joking, and telling each other things about each other. Although König insisted that his English wasn't good, you assured him that you understood him just fine — if anything, his confused looks and furrowed eyebrows at idioms you used were adorably endearing, each time earning a sympathetic giggle from you.

At some point — and though he would've been ashamed to admit it — he tuned out the babbling that came out of your mouth as he admired your face, noting all of your features: the colour of your eyes and how they'd crinkle in happiness whenever you smiled; the way your hair flowed and framed your face; taking the time to count all of the freckles on your nose and committing the number to memory.

He'd only catch himself staring when you'd suddenly finish talking. "But what do I know, I'm kind of stupid if you ask me. It's a wonder I passed the tests to qualify for this job in the first place."

You locked eyes with him, interested in hearing what he had to say. "What do you think, König? I bet you know the answer!"

To which he'd quickly clear his throat and respond with, "Ich weiß nicht. I don't know. To be... frank, though that is strange for me to say when I am not "Frank"—" 

You struggled to struggle to contain your laughter, and quickly apologized as soon as you stopped shaking, before attempting to explain to this clueless Austrian man why it was used. König didn't feel demeaned by your explanation, though, as he thought that his blunders would be worth it every time if it meant hearing you laugh so sweetly.

To König's dismay, half an hour flew by in minutes, and it was time to part ways as you began your daily duties.

As the two of you stood up, you initially had realised that König was taller than the average man based off how his knees could barely fit under the table.

You sure as fuck did not expect to see this.

He towered over you, casting a shadow down below. You had to strain your neck to make eye contact with him, and a painful cramp was already forming.

"Ha—ha.... you're pretty, uh... big."

That statement had more than one connotation. Gott sei Dank für diese Maske, he thought. Thank God for this mask, otherwise you would have seen the blush from his neck up to his ears after his mind went to a place he hadn't thought it'd go, especially not with a person he had formally met not even an hour ago.

"Oh well, I can finally put those 4-inch combat boots in the bottom of my closet to good use," you laughed, playfully nudging what meant to be his shoulder but your height difference meant that you instead touched his pec. Not that you minded though.

With your arms behind your back, you shyly averted your gaze. "Well... It was nice to meet you, König."

"You too... King."

Furrowing of brows as you tilted your head. "How do you say it in German? "Auf Wiedersehen"?"

"Ja, das ist es."

"Well then, Auf Wiedersehen, big guy. I'll see you around!"

Big guy... In more ways than one...

God. König had to get a grip.

Yet, with the way he was looking at your backside and fantasizing about your next meeting, he already knew that not even Gott could help him.

...

Note: I HATE this fucking fanfiction WITH MY SOUL 🤬🤬. This fucking thing was NEARLY FINISHED and I was in the process of tweaking yet my phone decided to erase half of my progress !!!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

My phone 📵 and God 🤬 didn't want this fanfiction getting published yet guess what!!! 🖕🖕🖕🖕Fuck you!!!🖕🖕🖕 Ive gotten it out anyways🗣️ fucking shaved a decade off of my life trying to recovervthe opening part of this fic,,

,,,,literally why did I get punished for writing a very mild and unextreme fanfic 😭😭😭😭 like the first half was just in Königs perspective and Ur telling me that i can't do that?????

I mf get fucking crucified like Jesus  on the cross, only this time I sarcificed my sleep and sanity to not be ressurected again,, bitch I would have rather died if I had known tjis would happen ☠️☠️ I could have actually SLEPT?!! 🤬🛌

Never again writing fanfictiosn on my phone, I can't trust this evil technology!!  I'm gonna draft them with PEN and PAPER bitch!!!! Typewriter!!!!!!!! Chalk On Pavement™!!!!!!!!!!!! PERMANENT MARKER ON MY FOREHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

If you read this rant of mine, I hope you have a lovely day/night, beautiful person. <33 (please wash your eyes after reading that,,I needed to release my anger somrjow don't judge me hhhhhhhHHHH—)

#aking10592_ ≛彡 #könig #könig cod #könig call of duty #könig mw2 #könig modern warfare #konig #konig cod #konig call of duty #konig mw2 #konig mwii #konig modern warfare #könig x reader #konig x reader #könig x fem reader #konig x female reader #könig x male reader #konig x male reader #könig x gn reader #konig x gn!reader #könig fanfiction #konig fanfiction #könig x king

[somestorythoughts]

Evil Perry again

Saw a “none shot” post earlier and felt called out so decided I would post this. I’ve seen 3 or 4 fics that involve or are entirely about Perry ending up at Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated after getting injured and Heinz helping him out, and how that’d work with this role swap has been floating around my head so. Voila:

Perry is literally five steps away from his bed before he hears the crash and glares at his clock. It is nearly 2 in the goddamn morning who is crashing outside his house? Then again, that hadn’t sounded like in front of the house. He looks out the window into the backyard and wonders why Agent O’s hovercar is crashed maybe a foot from his magnolia tree.  Wait. Fuck. He runs outside. The hovercar isn’t in good shape but it isn’t on fire so things can’t be too bad. The door opens with only a little trouble. Agent O is slumped against the steering wheel and Perry pulls him back to see how careful he needs to be moving him. He’s wearing a bulletproof vest that seems to have done it’s job, but his thigh is covered in blood. There are pieces of shrapnel sticking out of his leg and a bullet hole not far from it. So it’s not good, and he’s lost a lot of blood, but it doesn’t look like something Perry needs help to handle. He drags the agent out of the car and into the spare bedroom. He almost never uses it, if the place hadn’t come with three bedrooms he would have just converted it into a workspace, but there have been times when it helps to have an extra bed.  ‘I thought you were a mechanic’ Perry signs at the unconscious Heinz. He grabs the first aid kit and hopes the idiot hasn’t bled out too much, because he has precisely no blood lying around and he’d prefer not to rob a blood bank if he doesn’t have to. Besides, he doesn’t know the agent’s type. Once the stitching is finished he locks the bedroom door, cleans up the blood on his floors, sets an alarm so he remembers to text his family that he thinks he caught a bug and doesn’t want them to come over (the kids usually let him know if they’re visiting but surprises do happen), and goes to see if the wreck can tell him why his nemesis crashed in his backyard.

Heinz wakes up slowly. The ceiling above his head is light green, which is not the color of his bedroom or O.W.C.A’s medical center. He turns his head and sees Perry sitting in a chair across from him, book in hand, glaring. That wakes him up pretty fast. “Perry the Platypus!” He’s never been certain how the guy feels about that nickname but he has platypuses all over his house so can’t be too annoyed. There’s a cartoonishly drawn one on his shirt right now actually. “What the hell am I doing here?” Perry’s frown deepens and he flicks his hand towards the bedside table. Heinz sits up carefully, his leg feels like someone has been stabbing it repeatedly, and grabs the painkillers and water from the table. “Well?” ‘Your autopilot judges the route to safety by the destination it arrives at most.’ Perry signs, still glaring. ‘Very sloppy, very stupid. What the hell were you thinking?’ “I didn’t design that, though apparently I’m going to have to fix it.” He grumbles. He doesn’t usually take the hovercar to get to headquarters, it’s conspicuous. If he doesn’t need to bring something in he usually takes the bus, which means that his nemesis’ house is the only place he uses it to get to regularly. He side-eyes Perry, who looks no less annoyed. “Thank you, but also why?” Perry’s expression shift, less annoyed and more displeased. ‘I don’t like sloppy work. You’re my nemesis, you don’t get to die because some idiot didn’t think a bit of code through.’ He paused, then added ‘Besides I’m not about to let you bleed out in my yard.’ He stands then, ignoring the wide grin on Heinz’s face. “Good to know you care.” Perry flips him off. ‘I’m getting you food, and then we’re getting you and that wreck out of my yard. I have plans to work on and I can’t do that if I need to worry about you wandering my lair because you got bored and picked the lock.’

#evil perry the platypus #agent heinz doofenshmirtz #heinz is agent ocelot #human perry the platypus #perryshmirtz #the nemeses of our childhoods #injury fic i guess #i have no clue if magnolias grow in Danville but I like them so fuck it #the bit about the autopilot is from Blurred Lines #a fic on AO3 my WineryWeiss #its good check it out

[chubbycaucasianchristiancloseted]

Hunter while smoking parmesan cheese, founded an investment firm with John Kerry’s stepson?

Hunter while smoking parmesan cheese, founded an investment firm with John Kerry’s stepson? We are also supposed to believe that he was so high that he misplaced a laptop but contributed opinions to Burisma’s “expansion to other markets” and “acquisitions in Europe, Kazakhstan and the United States”?

Isn’t it odd that a sitting Vice President who is tasked with dealing with corruption in Ukraine, would help get his Son a job in the very county be believes is corrupt?

The whole world has evidence that Biden leveraged tax payers’ money to fire a prosecutor investigating Burisma. By Hunter’s own admission he was as high as a kite during his time on the board and we now know he didn’t pay taxes on money he received.

Things have really changed apparently the only conversation they had about his business dealings was when his Dad said “I hope you know what you’re doing”

Direct Quotes:

During his time on the board of one of Ukraine’s largest natural gas companies, Hunter Biden, the son of former U.S. Vice-President Joe Biden, was regarded as a helpful non-executive director with a powerful name, according to people familiar with Biden’s role at the company.

Interviews with more than a dozen people, including executives and former prosecutors in Ukraine, paint a picture of a director who provided advice on legal issues, corporate finance and strategy during a five-year term on the board, which ended in April of this year.

Biden never visited Ukraine for company business during that time, according to three of the people. They also said that his presence on the board didn’t protect the company from its most serious challenge: a series of criminal investigations launched by Ukrainian authorities against its owner, Mykola Zlochevsky, a multimillionaire former minister of ecology and natural resources. The allegations concern tax violations, money-laundering and licences given to Burisma during the period where Zlochevsky was a minister.

Giuliani has alleged, without providing evidence, that Joe Biden pushed for the firing of Ukraine’s top prosecutor to end an investigation into Burisma and Zlochevsky in order to protect his son.

Hunter Biden, 49 years old, has denied wrongdoing. In a public statement on Oct 13, his lawyer George Mesires said: “Despite extensive scrutiny, at no time has any law enforcement agency, either domestic or foreign, alleged that Hunter engaged in wrongdoing at any point during his five-year term.”

Biden, in the interview added that he didn’t discuss his business dealings in Ukraine with his father, other than one brief exchange in which his father told him “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Joe Biden has also denied any wrongdoing, saying he called for the removal of then-chief prosecutor Viktor Shokin in 2016 because of his ineffectiveness in tackling corruption in Ukraine, a widespread problem that both the United States and the European Union had long highlighted.

Zlochevsky, who founded Burisma in 2002, served as a minister under Ukraine’s then-President Viktor Yanukovich from 2010 to 2012. Burisma then began adding high-profile names to its board, including Biden and a business associate of his called Devon Archer, in April 2014.

Biden, a trained lawyer, had served on the board of a U.S. company and had also formed an investment firm with fellow Yale graduates Archer and Christopher Heinz, the stepson of former U.S. Senator John Kerry.

A source close to the company said Biden took part in strategic conversations and shared his opinions and experience. In between board meetings, “there were constant calls, dialogue, sharing of advice, consideration of different options,” the source said. “Expansion to other markets was also discussed,” the source added.

Another source close to Burisma said Biden assisted with analysis of oil and gas assets the company was considering buying abroad, though a deal didn’t go through. The company was considering possible acquisitions in Europe, Kazakhstan and the United States

around the time Biden was appointed, Burisma was also looking to secure a financing deal with foreign investment funds, including one in the United States.

#USA #TheChubbyCaucasianChristianClosetedConservative #JoeBiden #HunterBiden #Burisma

[gotatext]

JUDE & JENNY — DAY THIRTY-ONE.

location :   lounge area.

time :  breakfast !  

description :  jude and jenny fucked three times so the least he can do is cook her some heinz beans and sausages. 

featuring :   jenny  /   @blondcs​

𝗷𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘀𝗲𝘆.

with all the fucking fry ups, it’s a wonder jude hasn’t put on a dad bod by now. he’s starting to get a bit of a pouch, or at least a stomach that’s slightly less of a 90° than it was before, but that’s probably down to the beer. maybe he’s trying to bulk out, pack on the gains before he packs on the muscle. he probably won’t have to even pay for a gym membership when he gets out — they do all that sponsorship crap now if you’re vaguely known on the internet. at any rate, jenny’s still dead to the world when he returns from the kitchen with two plates loaded with food. he rests them on the arm of the sofa as he nuzzles back beneath the duvet beside her, trying not to spill any beans. the vague stirring is enough to give him the go ahead to nudge her awake, “wake up jenny…” whispered against her ear. it takes a few goes of this before he gets another stir out of her. jeez. she really does like to nap. “oi. wake up, sleepyhead. i made brekkie.” plucking a crispy sausage from the plate, he holds it towards her mouth. “you eat meat, right?”

𝐣𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐞𝐧

she comes to slowly, not like being blinded by the lights in the bedroom. a quick feel around explains it—she’s got her sunglasses on already, either woke up just enough to fix them into place or jude did her a major solid. she hums her appreciation either way, slightly chapped lips tugging into a lazy smile that’s promptly interrupted by a massive yawn. “ugh, i’m up, i’m up,” her gravelly voice insists, pulling jude back into her warmth, legs twisted through his and clinging to him where she can. she thinks she could fall right back asleep, but the promise of breakfast has her taking the plunge and tipping her shades back onto her head, squinting at him through the sudden flood of light. or at least at the sausage he’s holding to her mouth. “reminds me of college,” she teases, leaning up to snap her teeth down around the tip, having to do it again to work through the skin and actually manage chewing off a piece.  “damn, excuse my shitty incisors.” it’s surprisingly delicious, nice and well done like she prefers, though the rest of the plate looks questionable. beans for breakfast? as if she needed the reminder he’s totally british. she pushes herself up to sitting, still wrapped up the duvet, one side serving as an oversized hood—it’s probable he was only rationed a small corner of the blanket during the night, the rest inextricably tangled around her. “mmm, i can’t believe you made me food.”

𝗷𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘀𝗲𝘆.

his own sunglasses are kind of campy, novelty ones shaped thin like an aliens eyes with a green frame, the kind you’d see at an acid techno rave, but they do the job all the same. he’d found hers in a pile of crap besides dante’s bed, slid them over the bridge of her nose like a real-life game of don’t wake dad before he went to crack eggs against the pan. even now, in the early morning afterglow of it, her body’s still anchoring itself towards his, legs twisting around his knee, she coils himself around him like climbing ivy. it’s fucking cute. “you went to college? what did you study? were you like… one of those sorority girls that all live together like in the house bunny?” honestly, watching jenny bite off the end of the sausage like that is kind of inducing some castration anxiety, but he keeps his wincing to himself, shoving the rest of the sausage into her mouth with a snort the moment she finishes speaking.

“obviously i’m gonna make you food. like… it’s fucking bad manners to fuck someone and not even make them breakfast.” there was a time in jude’s life where he’d leave a girl’s house the moment the shagging part was over, but in recent years he’s realised it’s the bit after the shagging, where you’re just lying there feeling kinda weird and hollowed out, and there’s someone’s arms around you or their cold feed against your shin — that’s the bit he likes the most, and the domestic stuff like showering together and asking how they take their tea and all the crap that comes with waking up in an unfamiliar house.  he needs to have a conversation with jenny about whether this thing between them was just a one-night rebound, or actually something, but he’ll let her finish eating before he starts trying to hammer out the minutiae of what are we. once they’re settled, he moves both plates from the arm of the sofa to rest in their laps against the duvet. already, he can see them spilling condiments and shit all over it, but for once that’s not his problem. “don’t let your hashbrowns go cold, they’re the best bit.” 

𝐣𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐞𝐧

"mhmm, and we only ever wore pink teddies and had pillow fights and we were all cheerleaders with tight little playboy bodies," she rolls her eyes, elbowing him through the blankets. "because i get along so well with other girls?" it's meant to be a joke, but it hits a little too close. "yeah, no. no sorority. no degree either. i lasted like, two years and then..." she fishes a hand out of her cocoon to gesture a total nosedive. "wanted to go for art but obviously that's stupid and just, a shit ton of money to be shelling out for like, glorified networking opportunities or whatever, and my dad wouldn't pay unless i did something 'practical,' so... got a half-finished communications degree." the irony, of course, being that it was practical—she learned just enough about marketing to turn her shoddy youtube account into a whole little brand that earned enough revenue for her to quit waitressing. not bad for a drop out. "how about you? you secretly a frat star?" she may not have been in a sorority, but she may as well have been in a fraternity. her lip curls, eyes livening up with the banter. "suck some guy's dick in a maid uniform just to get really good at shotgunning beer in a house with no toilet pap—" she's cut off by the rest of the sausage being pushed down her mouth, snorting a laugh and baring herself in the process of freeing her arms for a good-natured shove. "jude! i could've choked!"

it's super tasty, though—kind of reminds her of home, going to the diner with her mom and ordering breakfast no matter what time of day, 8am, 8pm, even the middle of the night when heather would pick her up from a night out and they'd try to save her the hangover. she shifts the blanket, tucking it up under her arms like a tubetop, eyes finding his with an appreciative scrunch of her nose. "i fuck lots of people without making them breakfast," she teases, rubbing her hands together as he moves her plate onto her lap, trying not to move too much for fear of spilling the beans. "but it's really not obvious." she tries not to think about the last nice thing a guy here did for her and how that turned out, or romi's taunt, the fact that they had jude and dante all but fighting over who got to make her breakfast. comparisons are her worst enemy, though she can't seem to resist the urge to fall down that rabbit hole every once in a while. she's watching him again, trying to figure out where his head's at, if he's minutes away from turning cold and awkward now that they had sex or if that stage won't rear its ugly head until romi and dante come strolling back through the doors, hand in hand. hashbrowns, right. her eyes drop to her plate, carefully scooping up a bite before leaning over him to ditch the knife—she'd rather just struggled with the side of the fork if she needs to, one less piece of silverware to juggle, then her gaze is back on him. she nudges his shades down so she can steal a peak at his eyes. "so... last night was fun, huh?"

#if lyndsay gets me to reply to this i'll add whatever i reply on here too but for now...... we've started smthn new so i'm posting it. #⥂ jude dempsey. ╱ threads. #jude & jenny. #jude & jenny 008.

[seoproject12]

Rafa asks TogelInsua to be home

Rafa asks TogelInsua to be home

Liverpool's attack on the Premier League title was hit by the news that Emiliano Insua would not lose the next five matches.

 The promising defender was  play bazaar   called by the Argentine team to the South American Under-20 Championship, and the three-week tournament will take place later this month in Venezuela.

 Insua has competed in the last four Reds games and impressed Premier League leaders without defeating the series. He seems to have followed Raf's plans for the foreseeable future. The left defender will now skip Liverpool's match against Stoke next Saturday, as well as a double match from city rival Everton, a trip to Wigan and a table that will clash with Anfield in Chelsea.

 The call comes as a sign of rising stocks at the club's and country's ultimate defender this season. Insua, which celebrated its 20th anniversary on January 7, hosted the Liverpool Togel competition of Brazilian Fabio Aurelio and Italian Andrey Dossena.

 He is also expected to replace Gabriel Heinze in Argentina during the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.

 However, the loss of this match in Liverpool matches could return him in full parade to promising Premier League titles. The South American Under-20 Championships are closely watched by scouts from Europe's largest clubs, as they are considered a moped for cheap talent.

 This year's tournament runs from January 19 to the end of February 8.

 The Merseysiders will also be represented at the tournament by reserve team defender Ronald Huth from Paraguay.

 I'm sad to see a former international running straight to a long job with no experience. He took his friends with him, shredded, got rich, and then went through it again and did the same. Meanwhile, all the poor Franky and Freddie of Leyton Orients and Carlisles have no chance in this world and are undoubtedly better coaches.

 Before joining the management, coaches must have three years of experience in learning the football league before they can advance.

 Coming straight from acting is not, I think, the right thing to do. Ideally, they should send a detachment to the Asian team for six months to see how they responded when the president sent small pieces of paper with a form. why didn't you put this player on and off and so on.

 That will keep you alert! To work in Asia, you must have steel nerves. It's not about beautiful beaches, Tom Yam soup and cold Bintang beer! "

#play

[heloflor]

Rogue arc : An analysis of “Abducting Murphy’s law” ’s B plot

So, as I mentioned in one of my fics, I wanted to write a long ass thing about Cavendish’s arc in season 2. Well, here’s part one!

While I said that I wanted to talk about the arc, to be honest I mostly had this episode in mind. “Abducting Murphy’s Law” is not my favorite episode but it does have my favorite B plot (by B plot I mean Cavendish and Dakota). The reason why I love this plot so much is because there’s tons of stuff to talk about, hence this post. So yeah, when I said I wanted to talk about Cavendish’s arc, what I mostly meant was that I wanted to infodump about this episode. Although, I did make a second post about how the reconciliation didn’t feel earned, along with some comments about the arc in general, including how Dakota definitely has some dependance issues but, instead of addressing it, the show tends to validate his fears. I’ll make sure to post both parts around the same time so that, if anybody wants to add or talk about it, they already have all my arguments.

This first half will be in four parts : a short explanation of which scenes I will talk about, one small side note about Bob Block being the least trustable character in this show, one pretty long part about how Dakota is throughout the episode and finally another long part about Cavendish and his evolution during the episode. And yeah, I know I could’ve made the Bob Block part into its own post but for some reason my brain really wants to put it in this post so…

And because I don’t want people to scroll through such a long text to read a tl;dr , here it is now :

tl;dr : - Bob Block is an untrustworthy condescending creep.

- Dakota plays moral support and does seem to believe Cavendish but is mostly worried about what Cavendish is trying to do and is gently trying to get him to give up while trying to stay on his side, as if something like that happened before.

- Cavendish is desperate to prove himself and the world that he’s someone, so when nobody takes him seriously or believe him, he’s willing to take matter into his own hands to prove them wrong.

 As for the full post (warning : it’s VERY long) :

So first off, I will talk about four scenes here : the scene on the parking lot, the three scenes at P.I.G. (warning Block, the computer room and the argument in the armory) and the scene with Cavendish leaving. So basically, every scene with the duo except for the dialogue between Dakota and Heinz, mostly because there isn’t really anything interesting to say about this scene, except maybe the fact that Dakota drowns his sorrows in food but that was pretty much expected given his personality and the fact that he literally says in “Missing Milo” that he eats when he’s stressed. Also, leave it to Doofenshmirtz to be vague about why Milo was missing, making it impossible for Dakota to know that there truly was an abduction; just like how in “The Last Day of Summer” in PnF, when he asks Candace if she saw his nemesis, he conveniently doesn’t describe Perry to her.

As for the small part about Bob Block : I don’t trust that guy in the slightest. Firstly, like basically everyone who watched the show already said, this guy gives off a very creepy vibe that makes him scream “villain”. And his design with his teeth + the voice actor’s former roles doesn’t help. Also, I recently re-watched the B plot of “Milo’s Shadow” and Cavendish calls P.I.G. a “clandestine government agency”, and I’m a bit curious about the “clandestine” part.

Secondly, I’ve seen a few people say that Block was hiding something darker because he was “too nice to be a good person” but like…he isn’t nice ??? Not in the slightest ??? Haven’t you heard him talk to Cavendish and Dakota in episodes like “Disco Do-Over”, “Lady Krillers” or “Field of Screams” ? He’s extremely condescending to them. Seriously, he talks to them like they were toddlers. Like, you know that “baby voice” you take to make kids feel excited about something ? He uses the exact same kind of voice with Cav and Vinnie. And the fact that he speaks slowly or him killing aliens while telling Cav that he’s doing the important job doesn’t help with the condescending aspect.

Another thing that I noticed about him is that he tends to be in control of every discussion he’s a part of. In particular, he has a tendency to cut off Dakota when the two are talking. I don’t know why Dakota specifically but in my rewatchs I didn’t notice him do the same with Cavendish. And since we’re on the topic of him being condescending and cutting off : first, in “Walker, Runner, Screamer”, he hangs up on Cavendish without listening to him and secondly and most importantly, in “Parks and Wreck”, not only does he cut Dakota again but he also goes from “I’m 100% listening to what you want to tell me” to “Sorry I’m too busy” in like 5 seconds. Bob Block doesn’t care about them. He isn’t being nice. He’s a condescending ass who borderline gaslight them by pretending to be nice.

Another thing that I’d like to discuss about him is the fact that I’m seriously doubting that he’s related to Mr. Block, which is not reassuring because it would mean that he somehow learned about time travel and time agents etc. But yeah, about the relation with Block : Thing is, Mr. Block is at the head of B.O.T.T. and one of the judges of whatever their court system is. So in other words, he knows about the rules better than anyone. And while he does seem a bit immature at times and in canon went back in time to watch a movie he missed, I don’t feel like going back to meet his ancestors is something he’ll do ? I mean, we know that “don’t cross your own timeline” is a pretty big rule for time agents, and in “A Christmas Peril”, Block seems genuinely surprised to see his future self, which makes me think that he doesn’t do this kind of time-travel much. Also, if he’s willing to go back in time to meet his ancestors, why doesn’t he go back to buy pistachios ? So yeah, I know this is all speculation and for all I know he could have gone back in the past but there’s just something about his character and the situation that makes me go “would he tho ?”.

Also, while I completely agree that it can be possible, I’m a bit surprised about the fact that the family managed to keep the same last name for over 120 years. Like, did every generation had sons ? I know it’s entirely possible but would it happen here ? Or were there daughters who kept their last name after getting married ? Did Block really go back in time to meet his ancestors, leading to them wishing to keep the last name ? As for the physical appearance, aside from the hair, they don’t really have anything in common but it’s expected given the number of years between the two.

One last thing about Bob Block : In “Abducting Murphy’s Law” (you know, the episode that’s supposed to be the main focus of this post), there’s that moment with the character “Toodles” and I genuinely wished I had something to say about this moment, especially with the “I need to look like I’m going somewhere” line but I have no idea how to interpret it (and it’s frustrating honestly). So yeah, this line is here and it’s weird but I don’t know what to do about it.

  Now, onto the actual episode (this will be cut in different parts to make it easier on the read, especially for those who wish to read it but can’t take it all at once. So yes, this post is literally an actual essay) :

I. Dakota’s side

1. Emotional support

So in the first two scenes, Dakota does what he always does. I’ve mentioned it in this long-ass post but when Cavendish gets frustrated or angry, Dakota has a tendency to act more laid-back and chill as a counterpoint. I think a good example of that is at the end of “Walker, Runner, Screamer”.

During the entire episode, Dakota looks annoyed or unhappy and yet, in that scene, he’s suddenly smiling. And it’s something that he does throughout the entire show, as if it was his way of “soothing” Cav. And in “Abducting Murphy’s Law”, that’s what he does at first. If you notice, when Cavendish gets angry after Block’s call and throw that metallic pick-up thing on the ground, Dakota closes his eyes for a good second. And when he reopens them, he starts talking about his lunch, going back into his laid-back role as if to try calming Cav down. This is also what he does after his rant a few seconds later, when he immediately offers food to Cavendish after said rant.

And speaking of that rant, I have a few things to say about it. First off, I do believe that Cavendish needed to hear that. Yes, it hurt his feelings, but given what happens during the rest of the episode, it does feel like Cavendish needs a reality check. Also reminder that this is the man who spent years dying ever so often; and on the island, some Dakotas look older than the one we follow in the show. So you’d think that after knowing about all these deaths, he’ll try to be at least a bit more careful. So yeah, while Dakota could’ve phrased things differently, I feel like this is something Cavendish needed to hear at some point.

Secondly, I can understand why Dakota would rant like that. Ever since the beginning of season 2, Cavendish has been complaining about his new job, ever more than the pistachios mission (for which Dakota also didn’t seem really satisfied, given how he easily follows through with Cavendish in “Time Out” and how he complains at the beginning of “Perchance to Sleepwalk”.). And when Cavendish complains, there are a few times like in “Disco Do-Over” or “Walker, Runner, Screamer” in which Dakota doesn’t seem to be very happy having to deal with Cavendish’s mood. Also, keep in mind that we see the duo like every three episodes and that just because they aren’t on screen doesn’t mean that they aren’t working. So for at least a month, given how each “show season” takes place during an “earth season” (if that makes sense), Dakota had to deal with working a shit job with someone who’s constantly complaining about it.

I’d also like to point out that, in “Backwards to School Night”, the line about Dakota not wearing much on Sundays and Cavendish not knowing about it hints that they don’t live together in the future. So that “constant roommates” situation could be new to them; and given how little they probably earn, it’s understandable that they’d rather keep this small “apartment” and share rent rather than splitting to go live in a different place each. In other words, Dakota doesn’t really have much choice but to live with Cavendish and hear him talk about saving the world everyday. Given all that, I’m honestly not that surprised that Dakota ended up snapping and giving Cav a piece of his mind. His patience was bound to run out at one point.

Side note : I’m not saying that Dakota is an easy person to live with compared to Cavendish. Honestly, they probably argued about money at some point due to Dakota’s eating habits and the fact that neither of them seems to know how to cook, so they have to eat out every day. I’m just saying that Cavendish is seen always complaining about his job and Dakota most likely hears him complain much more than we do. And no matter how much you like someone, hearing them say the same things over and over again get tiring. And besides, the argument could work in the opposite direction too. Maybe Cav is tired of Dakota never taking everything seriously; but much like Dakota, he can’t just buy his own place and live alone easily.

 Thirdly, I’d like to comment on this face :

Two things to say about this face. First, the most obvious, he’s sad for Cavendish. If the whole “being chill when Cav is angry” is any indicator, Dakota doesn’t like seeing Cavendish be sad or miserable. Besides, this guy didn’t spend years saving Cavendish and trying to always be by his side just to destroy his self-esteem later on.

Secondly, I can’t help but feel like Dakota is also thinking of his own emotions here. As said before, Dakota isn’t very happy with his new job either, as we clearly see in “Walker, Runner, Screamer” (I swear mentioning this episode is turning into a drinking game). While he’s still cheerful from time to time, he went from having a lazy smile as a resting face in season 1 to having a more neutral or tired expression.

But at the same time, Dakota doesn’t really express his frustrations, most likely because Cavendish is much more vocal than him and he’d rather help Cavendish with his emotions than work on his own, like a “you have enough frustration for the both of us” kind of way. After all, we see in season 1 that he tends to shut down and keep to himself, which led to all his frustration in the argument of “A Christmas Peril”, since he wasn’t able to tell Cav why his lack of consideration was making him so angry, especially when Cavendish calls him selfish.

So here, it feels like Dakota isn’t just feeling shitty because Cavendish feels shitty but he’s also dropping his mask and showing more of his emotions, here the fact that he isn’t happy about his current life either. But unlike Cavendish, he’s able to go with the flow and find some contentment in the smaller things.

 Now, about the scene at P.I.G.’s office : For the “support” part, there isn’t that much to say. When Block turns Cavendish down and the guy starts feeling bad, Dakota goes back to his supporting role. In a way, he’s acting like in season 1. Except that this isn’t season 1 and he can’t time-travel anymore. So when Cav starts talking about breaking the rules and risking their jobs, Dakota immediately considers his words a mistake and try to stop Cavendish from thinking too much about it.

  2. Opposition

So I’m going to cover a part of the last two scenes at P.I.G. . First off, the scene in the computer room. At the beginning, Dakota seems still pretty encouraging with how he reminds Cavendish of what he said about what the ship looks like. But quickly, he starts to make Cavendish doubt himself.

What’s really interesting though is Dakota’s phrasing. When he starts talking to Cav, he says “Maaayybe I suppose but are you really sure you saw what you saw ? I mean…” and then goes on with the reasons why Cavendish might have imagined it. But about that quote, what I find interesting is the amount of incertitude he puts there with the “maybe”, “I suppose”, “are you sure”. It really feels like Dakota is trying to discourage Cavendish from looking for the ship while at the same time trying to stay on his good side by doubting him but not too much. This actually makes me wonder if such a situation happened before, hence why Dakota tries to stay on Cav’s good side.

Side note : “This isn’t my running tracksuit, this is my eating tracksuit!”, he says as if his tracksuits weren’t all eating tracksuits.

 Then there’s the scene in the armory. First off, this face :

He keeps that same expression throughout the entire moment, both when watching Cavendish and the guard, and I don’t know how to interpret it, which is frustrating. My best guess is that Cavendish seems in better spirits, which reassures him or something like that. Or maybe the fact that Cavendish still wants to hang out with him to try finding the ship makes him think that Cavendish won’t ghost him. Really, I don’t see why he would smile like that only to start being frustrated again ten seconds later.

As for the argument in the armory; here I’m not going to talk about the main parts of the argument but a few things that Dakota says. Firstly, he again seems to try being on Cavendish’s good side with him saying “I believe that you believe”, though this isn’t enough to convince Cavendish. He also says “maybe we shouldn’t touch those” (not a direct quote) instead of just saying “we can’t touch those” or something like that. So again, he’s more into the “maybe you’re right maybe you’re wrong” area of the argument.

Secondly, I find the line “We’re stuck here. We live here now” really interesting. Like for at the beginning of the episode, this seems like Dakota showing more of his feelings. The way he says “we’re stuck here” first before catching himself and saying “we live here” shows again that he’s not happy with his current situation. Heck, it also means that he’s not just unhappy about the job but also being forced to live in a different time period than his, given that he says “stuck”. So yeah, he’s not happy about the situation and tries to hide it to make Balth his priority.

 Thirdly, there’s this expression when he leaves the room and tries to follow Cavendish :

(He looks like a kicked puppy I’m-)

So, when Cavendish leaves the room, he leaves behind an angry Dakota. And yet, barely a few seconds later, we see Dakota trying to follow Cav and his expression is filled with worry. This again makes me think that such a situation happened before, which would be why Dakota is so worried about not being at Cavendish’s side. Like, maybe at some point they had a mission that resulted in a terrible argument and Cavendish ended up trying to solve things alone, only to get injured or even die or something like that. And if something like that happened, that could explain why Dakota is now trying to convince Cavendish to stop looking for the ship without putting Cavendish against him and why he would look so worried when he realizes that he’s losing the battle; especially given how he can’t time-travel now. But again, this is all a complete speculation here. We have no concrete proof that such a thing happened before.

And since we’re on the topic of Dakota trying to be gentle in his approach : I’d argue that Dakota actually believes Cavendish when he says that he saw a ship. This is due to four reasons :

- They’ve been time-travelers for a while and probably saw a lot (just the “milk to death line”. Whatever this is, Dakota saw some shit.); the same way they met aliens a few episodes before this one. So seeing a spaceship wouldn’t be the most surprising thing in the world (Heck, P.I.G. literally has a computer showing all kind of ships they discovered; also the duo once went on the moon given the montage in “Island of the Lost Dakotas”).

- When they’re talking to Bob Block, the boss asks Dakota if he saw the abduction, and while Dakota says no, he starts saying “But if he says he saw it” before getting interrupted by Block.

- In the armory, when Dakota says “I didn’t saw what you saw but I believe that you believe and that’s” before getting interrupted. This line kind of gives off the impression that he does believe in Cavendish and so believe that Cav saw a ship. Though the “I believe that you believe” can definitely be seen as him not really believing him, just like with Cavendish saying “it’s like saying ‘I believe you’re hallucinating’ “

- In the scene when Cavendish leaves, Dakota says “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you in the way that you wanted me to.”. The fact that he adds the “in the way that you wanted me to” again gives the impression that he does think that Cavendish saw a spaceship. It’s just that Cav expects more than just a “I believe that you saw it”.

So overall, there’s the possibility that Dakota does believe in Cavendish. Honestly, the only thing that seems odd is the fact that Dakota doesn’t want to go and try to save the abductee. Though, given the fact that they’re risking their jobs and given the possibility of such a situation happening before, paired with Dakota’s fears for Cavendish’s life and the fact that he can’t time travel anymore, meaning that all of his actions have consequences; I guess it does make sense to some extent that Dakota doesn’t want to save the abductee. He worries more about Cavendish being alive and safe, especially now that he can’t go back. However, I’ll admit that the way Dakota just brushes off the possibility of someone being abducted and in danger does feel out of character. Although, watching “The Substitute” again, the two did leave the classroom without trying to do anything to help the kids against the blob; so honestly I don’t know.

This all leads us to the last part for Dakota :

3. The evolution throughout the scenes

So as I said, Dakota starts off trying to be supportive of Cavendish by being reassuring, but as Cav starts to be more and more absorbed by the idea of proving the ship exists, Dakota starts to distance himself from him by trying to convince him to stop looking. And then comes the last scene, in which all Dakota can do is try to convince Cavendish to stay with him.

Honestly, thinking about this scene, it feels like Dakota already knows that he lost the fight. When he asks “you say that sarcastically ?”, he just sounds tired. Also, there’s how his way of talking changes in the episode. At first, in the computer room, he tries to use facts to convince Cav to stop looking for the ship, talking about how there was some sunlight or how Cavendish got worked up. Then, during the argument on the armory, it’s kind of the same, although the facts that he gives are much more personal this time around with how he mentions that it’s a question of how their actions now have consequences and he can’t just fool around anymore.

Then, during the last scene at the “apartment”, he doesn’t even try to argue about the ship aside from his apology. Instead, he mentions his partnership with Cav and how they’re always able to talk things through, which actually reminds me of how in the scenes when they’re in private they act differently than in public, making it seem like they do communicate quite a lot by dropping their defenses around each other and vent to each other. Heck, the way Dakota says in this episode “We talk it out, we’re a team” really gives off the impression that yes, Cavendish and Dakota do talk things out when they have a big argument. And that’s what Dakota wants to do in this scene. He just wants the two of them to sit down and talk it out; no more running away, no more argument.

But yeah, in this scene, it’s not about the ship. It’s about Cavendish staying with him. And honestly, it feels like something that can be applied to how Dakota is throughout the entire episode. All he seems to care about is if Cavendish is going to stay with him or ghost him. Again, it kinds of falls into the idea that a similar situation happened before.

One last thing that I’ve written down is the fact that Dakota sutters while trying to convince Cav to stay in that last scene. But after watching a few of the previous episodes, Dakota actually has a tendency to sutter when he gets anxious or nervous. As a few examples : the ending of “A World Without Milo” at the beginning of his talk with Elliot, the crossover episode when Cav learns about the island, several scenes in “Escape” (Dakota’s such a mess in this episode).

 So that’s all for my breakthrough of Dakota’s part in this episode. Overall, he seems like he just wants to be with Cavendish, and for some reason seems to believe him while at the same time not trying anything to help the abductee. He’s protective, most likely due to the trauma of seeing Cavendish die over and over again for years. In short, that man has some issues that the show should really consider mentioning if season 3 comes around. But I will discuss more about these issues in my second post on the topic.

Now, onto Cavendish :

II. Cavendish’s side

1. Insecurities and evolution before this episode

So let me get this out of the way first : Cavendish is a very insecure guy, and what happened in “Abducting Murphy’s Law” was bound to happen at some point. We see glimpses of it in “Time Out” and “Abducting Murphy’s Law” seems to revolve around it : Cavendish is a guy who seems to have a pretty low self-esteem and who tries to hide it in his way to act all professional and “know-it-all/all-mighty”. We see it in how easily he gets sad in “Time Out” when realizing that his job barely matters, and we also see it when he’s in private with how soft he becomes. Just look at how, at the beginning of the Halloween special, he very easily agrees to follow Dakota’s plan and only calls Dakota a “meanie” for steaking stuff, which contrasts with his “Doughty snackhound” from “We’re Going to the Zoo”. He also shows his anxiety in “Snow Way Out” and is very soft and calming in “Perchance to Sleepwalk”.

So yeah, his attitude outside is more of an act than anything, though I’m not denying that he also gets grumpy because that’s a side of his personality (I wish I had any artistic talent so I could draw Cavendish with John Mulaney’s “When I walk down the street, I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. It’s exhausting !”, including John talking about his wife after this line).

So all this to say that Cavendish is insecure. And because of those insecurities, he feels the need to prove himself. He wants to be a hero, he wants to feel like a hero, but he also wants others to see him as a hero. Again, “Time Out” shows it well with how quickly he gets obsessed at the possibility of a counter-agent working against him, nevermind the fact that it’s a literal child.

And we see it even more in season 2. Every episode, he complains about how shitty his life became and how unfair it is. In particular, there’s the episode “Free Fall”, his last appearance before “Abducting Murphy’s Law”. In “Free Fall”, he seems even more fed up than usual about his job, and when a drone attacks him, he’s immediately happy that someone, anyone, noticed him. The ending of this episode actually makes me feel sad for him. He’s just so desperate for something good to finally happen to him; and he does deserve better than that. It’s just sad.

It also feels like he’s starting to distance himself from Dakota during the first half of season 2. By that, I mean that they don’t have as much interactions as they did in season 1, which was full of their banter (which is what made them so entertaining to watch). Heck, in “Milo’s Shadow”, Cavendish is shown alone, without Dakota. And in this episode, Cav tries to tell others about the aliens and get some people concerned about it.

Also, he clearly tries to impress the others when telling his story, even if he doesn’t consider them much. As for the other episodes, Cavendish and Dakota are mostly concerned over their mission and as such aren’t seen interact much, aside from like the beginning of “Lady Krillers”; which is a bit of a shame considering how their interactions are the best thing about their plot (but I already have another post ready that talks about season 2 and its issues so I won’t rant about it here).

So in short, Cavendish is desperate for good things to happen to him. He’s desperate to prove himself, he’s desperate to have other people take him seriously for once, he’s desperate to have a better life than that. During the first half of the season, it feels like this is what they were trying to show. And it all culminates in “Abducting Murphy’s Law”.

2. His evolution throughout the episode

So I’m going to do one big part here, going scene by scene.

Parking-lot scene :

So, in the first scene, Cavendish is the same as in previous episodes. He’s not satisfied with his job and wishes for more, in particular recognition for his previous actions in season 1. He’s (rightfully honestly) having a hard time accepting that this is all he gets, and when Dakota gives him a reality check, it only makes him feel worse.

Then there’s the encounter with Scott. This one’s pretty interesting. Alright so first off, it seems that Cavendish considered what both Dakota and Scott told him and decided to try and stop sulking, trying to see a more positive side of his situation. Though, it’s very interesting how he says “but how ?” right before seeing the UFO. In a way, it also really shows the difference of mentality between him and Dakota. Dakota has accepted that this is all he’ll get, and while he’s not happy about it, he decides to try seeing the good in smaller things. Cavendish on the other hand doesn’t seem to be able to do the same. Heck, when Dakota does it at the beginning of the episode, Cavendish sees it as Dakota lacking ambition; which in itself isn’t actually wrong since Dakota really doesn’t seem to want much from life aside from having fun and being with Cav.

Then, there’s also the line “Loss can lead to new adventures”. What I love about this is how, when we start the episode, the “loss” is more about how Cav is feeling. I mean, even Cavendish says that he needs to stop sulking after hearing this sentence. But then we watch the end of the episode and suddenly “Loss can lead to new adventures” has a brand-new meaning. And ouch. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love it, but still, ouch. Though, to be honest, I do wonder if at some point during the episode, Cavendish realized that “loss” could also mean leaving Dakota behind. Honestly tho if Cavendish repeated the sentence during the separation it would have been some amazing angst. But I’m getting off-topic.

Afterwards, there’s the abduction. When Cav sees it, he reacts exactly like he did at the end of “Time Out” and “Free Fall” : he gets excited and touchy, ignoring what Dakota says as he’s too taken from seeing this as a new opportunity to prove himself worthy of a better life. Thinking about it, it’s actually both funny and sad how he seems to care more about people seeing the ship and promoting him than the fact that someone was straight-up kidnapped by aliens (what’s up with Cavendish and Dakota not caring about people’s lives in this episode ? Though, given how they were in early season 1, I guess they just don’t care for the people they don’t know, do they ?).

Though, Cavendish mostly thinking about a promotion does fit his character. Again, he’s now desperate for recognition. In the spun of the moment, it isn’t about someone getting abducted, it’s about him being a hero again.

One last thing that I want to mention, mostly because I don’t really know where to put it otherwise : some scenery regarding Cavendish and Dakota at the end of the scenes. Every single scene with the two of them in this episode ends with Cavendish leaving the frame without Dakota, with Dakota trying to follow him in the first and second scene. Then, starting with the computer room scene, Dakota is left behind, the first time by his own volition as he’s starting to be less and less able to follow with Cavendish’s mindset and get angry about it, then left behind because Cavendish is too far gone into his ideas and prevents Dakota to stay with him, no matter how much Dakota tries to follow him, desperate to set things right. That’s all I have to say about how the characters move into the frames, but I found that to be a very interesting detail.

  The P.I.G. desks + the computer room scenes :

Like for Dakota, I don’t have much to say about the second scene. Bob Block doesn’t believe Cavendish in the slightest (and is being a condescending smartass about it; god I hate this guy. He’s great as a character but my god I hate him as a person) and it leaves Cavendish sad and disappointed. But then, Dakota tries to cheer him up, which only prompts Cavendish to try acting against his boss’ wishes. It’s like I said earlier : they have the same mentality as in season 1 in which ignoring the rules had little to no consequences aside from a slap on the wrist, leading them to do what they wanted.

But here, this isn’t season 1 and their actions have consequences. Dakota had realized that and tries to call Cavendish off his goal, but Cavendish is too excited to listen to him. This is the same structure as “School Dance” or “The Little Engine that Couldn’t” in which Cavendish gets his mind set on something. And in these two episodes, Dakota simply follows him without complaining. Heck, in “School Dance”, when the kids confront them about the whole “vampire” business and say “We know what you’re up to”, Dakota replies “Really ? Cause I barely know” which shows that, in this episode, he basically blindly follows Cavendish around, not caring enough about his job to object when Cav wants to do something that goes against what their boss want.

So, because of how they were in season 1, Cavendish is used to act when his mind is set on something. And he’s also used to have Dakota follow him, which might explain why he sounds like he’s taking Dakota’s objections in this scene like a joke. After all, Dakota always let him have his way, even when he disagreed with it. So why should it be different this time around ?

In a way, Cavendish has a certain disconnect, not really realizing the consequences of his actions. I guess that may be due to his previous job or the fact that, with Dakota secretly protecting him all the time, it never occurred to him how badly things can turn out.

One last thing for this scene, about the dialogue with Block and Cav mentioning the need to save the abductee : it’s again a bit unclear whether Cavendish wants to save them because they’re a person in danger or if he’s only thinking about people discovering that he was right and making him a hero. Though, looking back at his facial expression, he does seem genuinely concerned for the person (and I’m actually starting to wonder how he would’ve reacted had he known that the abductee was Milo).

As for the computer scene, again, not much to say. It’s Cavendish focusing on the task he wants to accomplish while Dakota’s just there to be there. Again, we see Cavendish be too obsessed with his task to pay mind to Dakota’s objections. We also see him get irritated when Dakota objects, though not as much as later on, as if he could tell that Dakota wasn’t truly believing him but at the same time thinks that Dakota will keep following and supporting him.

Side note : Seeing Cavendish knowing how to use a computer feels really weird. Like, I know he’s from the future so obviously he knows how technology works without any problem, but this is a guy who walks around with an 1850s outfit and who keeps using outdated expressions. So seeing him use a computer just doesn’t feel right.

The armory scene :

Now we get into the juicy part.

Alright so first off, a side note : “I am a naughty boy !” Cavendish, buddy, please don’t ever say something like that again ! Although it’s pretty adorable to see that dork feeling like such a gangster after “breaking” one rule (I mean, he was allowed in by the guard so it’s not really breaking the rules).

Secondly, like in the first scene at the beginning of the episode, when talking about saving the abductee, he seems more focused on the fact that he’s a hero who needs to save the world. It really gives off the impression that he doesn’t care that much about what happened to this person. He just wants validation and uses the current circumstances to do so. Again, this is just sad (I swear making this analysis is starting to make me feel really bad for Balth).

Thirdly, the line “Come on, partner !”. At first, I thought Cavendish was trying to convince Dakota to help him by reminding him of how close they are. But thinking about it again, I can’t help but see it as Cavendish trying to convince himself that Dakota will help him. I mean, he definitely noticed that Dakota wasn’t ok with what he was doing, no matter how oblivious he seems to be to Dakota’s objections. But up until now, Dakota had a tendency to just shrug it off and follow. So seeing him be so insistent now may have made Cav realize that maybe Dakota won’t follow through this time. So he tries to convince himself that Dakota will come through for him, because they’re partners.

Fourthly, the argument itself. When Dakota starts to interject more seriously, Cavendish reminds him of the obvious : that, when they were time-travelers, Dakota couldn’t care less about the rules. But things are different for them now, actions have consequences, and Cavendish doesn’t seem to truly grasp that. Heck, after Dakota argues that they have responsibilities to keep, Cavendish immediately points the finger at him with the “You don’t believe me” line, which completely changes the direction of the argument. Seriously, Dakota was talking about how they needed to follow the rules to survive in this new time-period and Cavendish starts talking about something that has nothing to do with what Dakota just said. Although, given that these two have known each other for at least like 10 years or so, given how much Cav changed from his design in “First Impressions”, I guess him changing the topic like that might be due to him knowing Dakota well enough to understand that, when Dakota objects to him like that, it’s because there’s a lack of trust there.

As for the rest of the argument, I guess this is mostly Cavendish’s desperation and obsession that are speaking. I mean, Cavendish is never taken seriously by anyone aside from Dakota. So here, when Dakota doesn’t support him like he expected him to, this is probably the last straw for him. He isn’t willing to listen to Dakota’s excuses, cutting him mid-sentence. And if Dakota’s face is any indicator, he can clearly tell that Cav doesn’t want to listen and that he’s losing the battle.

Cavendish has made up his mind. He knows what he saw, he knows that aliens are on earth, kidnapping people; and if nobody, not even Dakota, is willing to listen to him, then he’ll have to prove them all himself, no matter the cost.

  The ‘leaving’ scene :

Then comes the last scene, with Cavendish packing his bags. Again, he isn’t willing to listen to Dakota. He made up his mind and he’s determined to find the UFO. As he says it himself when Dakota tries to apologize : “It’s too late for that”.

Though, as I’ve seen mentioned in a fic that was basically an analysis of that last scene, we do have Cavendish leave a teddy bear behind. The bear wasn’t on the couch when he was packing, so it’s likely that he felt genuinely bad for ditching Dakota and decided to leave a plush behind to keep him company.

Also, a thing that I keep bringing up in my fics : I truly don’t think that Cavendish wanted to leave forever. I mean, he probably only took the essentials in the bag he used; he probably has much more than that stuff. Also, I highly doubt that he would wish to never see Dakota again. Heck, in “Escape”, when they reunite, Cavendish is pretty nonchalant about the whole thing, as if he expected to see Dakota again. Overall, it’s more that he thinks that Dakota’s going to try to stop him or slow him down since he doesn’t really believe in him, so he wants to do this rescue alone.

And one last thing regarding Dakota : the whole “It’s safer for you to stay here”. I find this line really interesting. Because thing is, no it’s not safer. Cavendish doesn’t go alone to protect Dakota, he does it to prove a point, to prove that he’s right and everyone else is wrong. But thing is, Cav already has some pretty low self-esteem, and accepting the fact that he’s being selfish by leaving wouldn’t help with it. Also, as I’ve mentioned in my long-ass “fun facts about these two” post, when Cavendish is in a situation that’s possibly dangerous, his first reflex is almost always to worry about Dakota’s well-being. So, in my interpretation, Cavendish knows that he’s being selfish by leaving like that and ghosting Dakota, so he tries to tell himself to leave by convincing himself that he’s leaving the guy behind to protect him; because there’s nothing more important to him than Dakota’s safety, so it’s much easier on the mind to tell himself that he’s doing it for Dakota.

  Aaaand that’s pretty much all for this analysis, which is already a lot to take in (12 pages. This entire post is 12 pages long. 11 without the pictures).

Thanks for reading !

#Milo Murphy's Law #mml #Abducting Murphy's Law #Vinnie Dakota #Balthazar Cavendish #mml spoilers #season 2 spoilers #Flor talks #aka infodump #A LOT #I wish I was good at montages #or didn't have a monotone voice #that way I could've made a video #instead of a wall of text #long post #VERY LONG POST #rogue arc

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

*spoilers for infinity War/endgame* Because technically Phineas and Ferb Is in the same universe of the MCU, does that mean that before the Avengers undid Thanos snap some of the PnF crew died? Imagine Doof Dying, Perry living but still visit his tower every day bc he misses him. Or Phineas and Ferb Dying, and Candace trying to bust them Just to rember they're gone.

WAIT THAT’S SO SAD O_O

I can’t stop thinking about what would happen if Heinz died. Perry would absolutely keep coming back to the tower even though there’s no scheme to thwart. Sometimes he’d run into Vanessa, who’s mourning just like he is. Her dad may drive her up the wall sometimes, but she still loved him and she would have to have a lot of regrets about how rocky their relationship had been at times. And assuming the squirrel powering Norm up didn’t die, he’d have the whole penthouse to himself for the first time. I don’t know if it’s in Norm’s programming to be genuinely sad, but I have to think that over five years of only finding companionship in Perry and Vanessa’s visits, he’d have to lose the cheerful air he always has. 

In fact, I think a lot of OWCA and LOVEMUFFIN would be fucked up. Only about 25% of nemesis pairs would survive, and 50% of evil scientists and agents would be left without their nemesis. There would have to be a lot of rearranging, and depending on what happens to the OWCA/LOVEMUFFIN member ratio, some agents might be without a job or some might have to double up. Can you imagine Perry taking on two evil scientists every day while he’s mourning the loss of his best friends?

And then when his day at work is done, he’d have two choices: he could go to Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc and not be met with Heinz’s self-assured monologuing, or he could go to the Flynn-Fletchers (it would be difficult to call it “home” now) and constantly be reminded that his boys are gone. I would like to think that both Linda and Lawrence get to stick around, but they’re no substitute for Phineas and Ferb.

Much like Perry’s dream in Phineas and Ferb Get Busted, Candace would be heartbroken. She wouldn’t know what to do with herself if she wasn’t busting the boys. It really is the only thing she’d focused on all summer, and if they just up and disappeared one day, she’d be so lost. I have to imagine that either Stacy or Jeremy would also get snapped away -- the odds that all three would live would be slim to none -- so she’d also be mourning the loss of at least one of the closest friends. Assuming one of them survived, I imagine she’d lean on them for support more than anyone, but they’d be dealing with losses in their own family, too -- they both have at least one parent and a younger sister; I imagine at least one person in their family wouldn’t make it. 

I think Candace would really hold a grudge against Perry at first because he reminds her of them. Perry’s used to her being rude -- and it’s not exactly a one-sided thing -- but never to this extent, and I think he’d take that as a sign that maybe he shouldn’t come home. He doesn’t want to sleep in Phineas and Ferb’s empty beds, anyway. It would make it easy to embrace a second nemesis at OWCA, even if he feels numb the whole time, but he’d still need somewhere to go when he’s not working, and I think he might make himself at home at DEI, at least at night when he needs somewhere to sleep. He’d be careful not to disturb anything because even though he knows Heinz is gone, he can’t stop hoping that maybe one day he’ll come back, and Perry doesn’t want to move anything for when that day comes. Even after five years, whenever he pays DEI a visit, he touches nothing but the coffee maker and the bed. 

I think eventually, though, Candace and Perry would have to be reunited. It’s a small town; they can’t stay away from each other for long. Maybe it’s Perry who takes initiative, going back home for the first time after a month just to see how everyone’s doing. Obviously everyone’s still broken up about it, but it’s been long enough that people have to start moving on and living their lives without their loved ones, no matter how much it hurts. I don’t think Perry would have gone home to see Candace, but I think once he did, he wouldn’t want to leave. And for once, I think Candace wouldn’t want him to leave, either. Yes, Perry reminds her of the boys, but so does everything and everyone else. But having him disappear within days of the boys turning to dust just left another hole in the household, and it helps to have back the only one who misses them like she does.

I think the gang would absolutely fall apart. They had nothing in common before Phineas and Ferb brought them together that summer, and with them gone, there’s no one to unite them anymore. I don’t think it would be a conscious decision, but I think they’d slowly stop spending time together and that eventually it would be almost like that summer never happened. I even think Buford would stop bullying Baljeet, even as a friend, because it just feels wrong now. They wouldn’t know how to cope without Phineas and Ferb, and it would tear everything apart.

I think the Fireside Girls would grow closer, though. I think Isabella would become much more focused on getting her patches because it’s something to take her mind off the pain and she wouldn’t have to think about the fact that she never got to tell Phineas about her crush, and I think the girls who survived would know what she was doing and they would do their best to help her. I think there’d be a lot of heart-to-hearts and a lot of tears, and maybe they’d expand their duties to try to help others who are struggling the same way they are, even if the best they can offer is some sort of distraction. 

And as heartbreaking as it is to think about what would happen when they’re all gone, I can’t even imagine what would happen when they come back. Maybe Perry’s at DEI with 21-year-old Vanessa -- a whole ass adult now -- and Norm, sitting together quietly or reminiscing about the past and bam, Heinz appears in the middle of his lab. I think that might be the first time anyone ever sees Perry cry -- and I mean full-on sobbing; he’s been waiting for this day for five years but he never actually thought it would happen. It would be such a nice, happy reunion, and I can’t even imagine how much it would mean to Heinz to know that Perry stuck around for five whole years waiting for him when he knows that everyone else has abandoned him the first chance they got. 

And then they’ve notice how loud the tower is and how busy the streets are and they’d realize that Heinz isn’t the only one who came back, and Perry would give Heinz a big hug before running out the door to see if Phineas and Ferb came home. Heinz wouldn’t understand at first -- why would Perry wait around for five years just to leave within 10 minutes of Heinz coming back? -- but Perry had spent enough time with Vanessa lately for her to know that he has a family back home. That would just make Heinz feel even better. Perry lost his two boys and he still spent so much time here.

Phineas and Ferb would be so disoriented. One second they’re building a giant disco ball, the next they’re standing in an empty yard with no friends, tools, or disco balls in sight. They’d head inside to ask their parents if they knew where Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet went, and their parents would start crying because the boys are back! After all this time, their boys are finally home! and Phineas and Ferb wouldn’t understand why they’re suddenly being given the biggest bear hugs of all time but they wouldn’t protest. And then Perry would run through the door, almost like he somehow magically knew he’d find them, and he’d stay by their side all day, only leaving (after a day full of snuggles, obviously) to go back and visit Heinz. OWCA and LOVEMUFFIN would have a lot to sort out, so he’d hopefully get at least the next couple days off to spend with his family -- both the Flynn-Fletcher family and the Doofenshmirtz family.

Candace would probably be at school -- she’d be 20, after all, and probably at a college dorm a ways away from home. Maybe shed get a call from her mom, sobbing, telling her that her brothers are back. Or maybe someone in her dorm would start screaming and telling everyone who will listen that her dad is alive and her dad’s been dead for five years and this is the best news she’s ever gotten, and soon the entire school (and probably the entire world) is on their phone calling around to see if their own families and friends are okay. The phone lines wouldn’t even be able to handle all this, and the streets would be a wreck with people trying to get to their loved ones. 

And can you imagine what it would be like for Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet to see them again? They’d be 13-15 years old at this point, and Phineas and Ferb would still be in elementary school. The boys may be mature for their age, but I have to imagine the five-year age difference would create a major rift in their friendship if they tried to go back to where they used to be. If Isabella still had remnants of a crush on Phineas, it would probably stop the moment she remembered that he’s just a little kid, and she’d have to figure out how to cope knowing that her former best friend (and first crush) is back but that they’re at such different standings in life now. Hell, Phineas and Ferb are probably closer to Little Suzy Johnson’s age than to Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet’s. I think it would really mess with Phineas and Ferb to see their friends so much older and more mature, especially because to them, they’d just been kids building crazy things the day before. 

Once again, I think the Fireside Girls would be fine. They probably would have taken in some of the Lil-Sparks-turned-Fireside-Girls like Melissa (not Chase) into their troop to make up for lost members, so the varying ages would be nothing new; they’d just be happy to have their friends back.

tl;dr I think the snap would be heartbreaking and the reunion would be bittersweet and this is the woRST ASK I’VE EVER GOTTEN AND NOW I’M GONNA CRY IN A CORNER FOR A FEW HOURS /j

#i spent a solid hour and a half writing this bc im locked out of my school gmail account again #and im too lazy to reset my password for the sixth time since friday #anyways my heart is officially broken :))))) #i think ive had an ask about the snap before but i couldnt find it so this is all new stuff i just shouted into the void #idk im just thinking of dumbausfromdanville's snap au ask? #ugh idk i have like three braincells i don't remember anything #look i have an ask #tw death #death tw #cw death #death cw #death #Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel #pnf #marvel #mcu #thanos #mission marvel #infinity war #endgame #avengers: infinity war #avengers: endgame #im adding all the marvel tags so people who dont like marvel dont have to see this lmao

[perryshmirtz-shipper713]

Perryshmirtz Week

Day three

Confessions

Close Call

Perry sighed. Another Day.

Another day fighting Heinz Doofenshmirtz.

Perry couldn’t believe how long this assignment was taking. When he was first assigned to monitor Heinz Doofenshmirtz, a recently new villain, for any evil activities, he was sure that it would only take him a day. Usually the new villains couldn’t wait to show off whatever “evil plans” they’ve come up with and Perry would figure out how to stop them, give a good fight, and arrest them. That’s what happened most of the times.

But Doofenshmirtz proved to be more of a challenge than he thought.

Every time Perry would be close to arresting Doofenshmirtz, an explosion would distract the agent or give a chance for the villain to escape. It was nice that most of Doofenshmirtz’s inventions had a self-destruct button on it, since Perry would sometimes see it and press it for an easy job done, but Perry felt it was a bit too dangerous for Doofenshmirtz to use. That guy was more clumsy than anyone he has ever met.

Perry looked over the details for today’s mission. Doofenshmirtz is up to something today. Yet again. How long was this going to take?

A thought passed through Perry’s mind saying Forever.

That answer should have filled Perry with more grief for that would mean he would be on the same mission for years. Instead, it kind of filled him with joy.

Perry took a step back. What is going on in his mind? Joy? For continuing his fights with Doofenshmirtz?

Well, he was OWCA’s best agent. Maybe he just enjoyed fighting that much now.

No. That wasn’t it. True, fighting evil brought excitement to his life but, with Heinz Doofenshmirtz, it was different.

He was different in the way Perry felt for him. He still like punching the villain but it wasn’t out of hatred. Maybe it was just for fun?

Perry shook the thoughts out of his mind. He had a mission to do. He can’t be thinking of his feelings for Heinz.

Feelings for Heinz?

Perry dashed out of his cubicle. He really needed to stop thinking these things.

As he was on his way to the elevators, he overhead some whispers from agents as he was passing by.

“Did you hear he is on his way to fight that new villain again?”

“He usually doesn’t take this long.”

“Think there’s something dangerous about this guy?”

“It could be the great Perry just doesn’t want to arrest him.”

Can’t they just mind their own business, Perry grumbled in his thoughts. It’s nothing too unusual that he was taking this long to arrest Heinz Doofenshmirtz. It’s not like...

“What? Do you think he likes him?”

Upon hearing that, Perry felt his face getting red. His fur covered up the blushing but Perry could still feel the heat raising on his face.

He rushed to the elevator.

What was going on with him? He kept asking himself as he made his way to Doofenshmirtz Inc.

......

Today was a typical day with Heinz Doofenshmirtz. The villain would trap Perry, give a detail backstory of why he made his evil inator, than Perry would fight him and manage to thwart Doofenshmirtz’s evil plans.

Everything was going on as usually and Perry had finally escaped Heinz’s trap. Today Doofenshmirtz had Perry trapped in a ton of ribbons. Apparently ribbons have been quite a burden for Doofenshmirtz throughout his life but only because of how hard they were to tie and get to look so pretty and the fact that shopkeepers would not allow him to play with them before buying them.

In fact, the inator today was ribbon based as well, threatening to shoot out many ribbons and tangle the whole town in an annoying mess.

Perry saw that Doofenshmirtz was distracted with loading ribbons in the inator that he took this as his chance to look for the self destruct button.

Perry saw it. Just underneath the inator. Now to get Doofenshmirtz out of the way.

Perry jumped on Doofenshmirtz’s back and pushed him away from the inator. Doofenshmirtz was surprised by this and fell back. Perry quickly dived under the inator and pressed the button. The countdown was starting.

Doofenshmirtz saw this and whined. “Oh man, so quickly? But I barely got to use my inator.”

Perry rolled his eyes and started to make his way away from the soon exploding inator. He looked back for a moment to see where Doofenshmirtz might be running off to so he could hopefully arrest him later.

However Doofenshmirtz wasn’t running.

Apparently when Perry had surprised Doofenshmirtz, the villain had accidentally got some of the ribbons wrapped around his arms and since the ribbons were attached to the inator-

He’s trapped!

Perry panicked. The inator was down to its last seconds. Doofenshmirtz couldn’t escape and it was all his fault.

He rushed to his nemesis. He couldn’t let Doofenshmirtz get badly hurt or worse! If that would happen...

He’d never see him again. He’d never hear his tragic backstories again or get to know him better or get to fight him or spend the day with him or just see how actually of a nice and wonderful guy he really is despite his clumsiness and sometimes annoying manners.

Knowing that would all be gone in a manner of seconds made Perry feel absolutely terrified.

He got to Doofenshmirtz and tried to pull the ribbons off him but they just got more knotted.

Five seconds

“See, this is the problem with ribbons,” Doofenshmirtz started to complain even though this wasn’t the right time. “Either they make you late for parties or for trying to get away from explosions.”

Three seconds.

Perry grew desperate. He didn’t have anything sharp in his hat today and he had no time to look around for something. He grabbed ribbons that were tying Heinz to the inator and used his teeth to cut them. It hurt but it managed to work.

“Wow, you have some strong teeth Perry the Platypus,” Heinz complimented.

One second

Perry quickly got Heinz on his feet but before they could make a run for it, the inator exploded.

Perry prepared for a great deal of pain but it actually wasn’t that bad. After the explosion, when the smoked clear and everything seemed to have settled down, Perry looked up and saw that Heinz was covering Perry with his hands and keeping him close to his body.

Heinz was trying to protect him.

Perry was filled with so many mixed feelings. Appreciative, relaxed, content, and very happy. It caused him to feel confused and even scared. What could this all mean? Wasn’t Heinz his enemy? Shouldn’t he be hating him?

Was he actually in love with Heinz Doofenshmirtz?

Heinz looked down to Perry. He looked relieved that Perry wasn’t too badly injured.

“Wow, that was a close call, huh?” Heinz chuckled. “Um, I really appreciate that you came to save me and all but don’t put yourself too close to explosions for me. Trust me, that wasn’t my first close explosion and I’m certain it won’t be my last or worst.”

Perry chuckled. Heinz was a lot stronger than he thought. Strong and brave and..

Perry grabbed tightly onto Heinz’s lab coat.

So very kind. Very loving.

Perry came close to Heinz’s face.

How couldn’t he fall in love with him?

Heinz looked quite curious on what Perry was doing but he did nothing to stop him. Perry could even see Heinz was blushing a bit.

Could Heinz feel the same way like him?

Maybe he could find out right now.

Perry leaned closer to Heinz only showing love and affection in his eyes for him. So close now. If Heinz won’t stop him, Perry was going to-

Beep beep beep beep

The sounded startled the two. Perry realized it was the sound of his watch. The two looked at each other for a moment but than turned away, both blushing quite a bit.

Perry answered the call.

Major Monogram appeared on the screen. “Perry the platypus. We heard from the surveillance cameras that an explosion went off in Doofenshmirtz’s building. Course this wasn’t what surprised us but we got a warning that your heartbeat was more rapid than usual and wanted to check that you were okay or if you needed any medical attention right away.”

Perry was really glad his fur covered up his blushing face or else both his boss and his nemesis would be able to tell something was up with him.

That’s right. Heinz Doofenshmirtz was his nemesis and he was a secret agent. Even if he really felt something for Heinz, how could he ever act upon it? It would not only be very unprofessional but unethical. It wasn’t just their job status that separated them. Heinz was a human being and Perry was a platypus. Sure Perry thought and acted like a human, even worked hard like one, but would Heinz think that would make them an acceptable couple?

Perry gave Major Monogram a thumbs up to show he was okay.

“That’s good. Any chances of capturing Heinz Doofenshmirtz?”

Perry looked at Heinz. Heinz looked a bit worried that Perry was going to arrest him right away but Perry looked back at the screen and gave a thumbs down.

“Oh, no matter Agent P. These things happen sometimes. Can’t get them all. Guess you’ll have to stop Doofenshmirtz the next time he comes up with something evil. Most likely tomorrow.”

Perry smiled. He liked the sound of that.

Perry saluted and signed off. Now it was just Heinz and him.

Heinz smiled at Perry which Perry realized made him very happy. “Thanks for not arresting me and all. I mean, eventually I would have gotten out. Weird explosions happen to me a lot and out of nowhere even in jail but the wait time is kind of uncertain so it definitely saves me a lot of time. So thanks a lot Perry the Platypus.”

Perry also realized he loved when Heinz said his name. He smiled happily back at his nemesis.

“Wait a moment,” Heinz said as he looked around at the aftermath of the explosion. “You know this mess wouldn’t have happened if you would have just let me use my inator and not press the self destruct button and ruin everything like you always do.”

Perry crossed his arms. Way to ruin a moment. He dusted off the remaining debris and went towards the balcony to fly off with his jet pack.

“And now you’re just leaving without helping me clean up?” Heinz complained more.

Perry looked back at Heinz and winked at him. He noticed Heinz blushed from that which filled Perry with a bit of hope.

He jumped off and went soaring to his way back to OWCA.

Another day without arresting Heinz Doofenshmirtz. Before that would cause him so much frustration, from having to work again to the the whispers of the rest of the agents, but now that stuff wasn’t important. What mattered to him now was getting to see Heinz again. And stopping Heinz’s evil plans to keep the town and his boys safe, of course, but seeing Heinz was now an added bonus for him.

“Curse you, Perry the Platypus!”

Perry heard Heinz’s shout and smiled contently from hearing his nemesis call his name again.

He wondered if there would ever come a time he would be able to confess these feelings to Heinz one day. For sure he was glad it was not today.

He was driven by the heat of the moment and the realization that he was actually in love with his own nemesis that he almost felt compelled to kiss Heinz right than and there for the sake of love.

But that would have probably been a bad idea. After all, he wasn’t sure if Heinz did feel the same way. Though now that he thinks of it, there were some clues that he did.

Either way, a kiss was too early. For now, he would just keep seeing Heinz and seeing how their relationship will progress. Today was just a close call.

#perryshmirtz week #perryshmirtz week 2020 #fan art #day three

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Thirteen

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

(Fluff and smut in this one. Would love to know how you are still liking the story!)

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten Part Eleven Part Twelve

Masterpost

Over the next couple of weeks, you and Harry took turns staying over at each other’s places more often. You both agreed it was easier for him to stay over on school nights because you needed more things to get ready for work in the morning. So you would stay at his place more on the weekends. You were tired most mornings with him there, but it was a good tired. Your mood at work was overwhelmingly positive, and many people noticed. You couldn’t help it, essentially being given an orgasm every other night of the week did wonders for you. Between the way he would rub you, or go down on you, you were perfectly content with where things were with Harry. He was happy to be given head or a hand job as well.

Harry desperately wanted to be able to touch more of you, to feel more of you, but he knew he would get there with you eventually, and there was really no rush. The awful run in with Jake was slowly slipping from your memory. You truly were feeling like your old self.

Wednesday morning, Niall popped into your office. You were standing at your desk, editing away at a clip a client had sent in. You see Niall and take your headphones out.

“Hey.” He says with a smile.

“Sup?” You’re clearly busy, but don’t want to be rude.

“Are you doin’ anything for Halloween?” Halloween was next weekend, and you hadn’t thought twice about it. You used to love Halloween when you were in college, but not it was less fun when you didn’t have a full weekend of dressing up and binge drinking.

“I don’t think so, why?”

“I’m gonna have a party at my place, just decided last night.”

“Oh fun! Your place really is perfect for a party.”

“I’d like to do some type of costume contest.”

“Hmm, like a couple’s costume contest?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Not necessarily, I just think having a contest of some kind will get more people to want to dress up.”

“Definitely, this is gonna be so much fun! I’ll have to think of some costume ideas.”

“You and Harry should be Tarzan and Jane.” He starts laughing.

“He would never go for that, but something tells me he’ll be open to some interesting ideas.”

That night when you get home from work, you walk into the delicious smell of a home cooked dinner. Harry has his apron on, and is frying up some tofu and veggies. You walk over to him, and wrap your arms around him.

“Dinner’s almost ready love.”

“Wednesday’s are my favorite. Rest day from the gym, you get off work early, and you cook for me.” You kiss him on the cheek, and hang up your jacket. “What are we having?” You ask, sitting at the table.

“Garlic and ginger tofu stirfry.” He says placing a plate in front of you.

“Oh yum! Thank you sweetie.”

“Don’t mention it.” He smiles at you. You both dig in and you can’t help the moan that comes from your mouth. “Good, huh?” He chuckles.

“Mm, very good. God, you are such a good cook.”

“So are you.”

“But you’re better. So...”

“So...”

“Niall told me he’s having a Halloween party next weekend.”

“Yeah, he texted me last night. What should we go as?”

“Yay, so you’re into it?”

“Of course, I love Halloween parties. It’s fun to take pictures of people dressed in what they wish they could wear all the time.”

“Good point. Any ideas for costumes? I want to be creative, but it’s kind of last minute so I don’t know how much time we’ll have to make something.”

“Hmmm, what about like eighties punk rockers. We could wear leather pants and black eyeliner.”

“Are you going to wear a wig?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because eighties rockers had long hair.”

“Not all of ‘em. I won’t wear a wig, but I’d wear everything else.”

“You just want to see my butt in a tight pair of pants.”

“Not true! Although, you would look incredibly sexy.” You swat a hand at him while you shovel more food into your mouth.

“Oh! What if you were like Charlie Brown and I was Peppermint Patty?”

“Isn’t she a lesbian? Wouldn’t really work for a couple’s costume.” He laughs.

“Are we really going to discuss whether or not a comic strip character is a lesbian? And who cares if she is, they’re still good friends, it would be cute.”

“You could be snoopy?”

“How could I possibly dress up as snoopy?” Harry starts to blush.

“Well, you could wear like a white dress, and paint your nose black. You could buy the dog ears, and um, a collar.” He looks down at his food.

“You want me to wear a dog collar?”

“It would be part of the costume.”

“I do have a black choker I could wear…does he wear a black collar or a red collar?”

“I can’t remember, we can look it up.”

“I think I have one in both colors. You know what, this could work, and I think I have a white jumpsuit I could wear. I could wear my white heels, the choker, and you’re right just paint a nose on and buy the ears. You must have black shorts, we could buy a yellow polo and paint a black zig zag on it.”

“This’ll be fun.” Harry loves when you say the word we. It was a word he used to be scared of, but it sounds so good coming from your lips.

That weekend you two go to WalMart to pick out the extra components of your costumes. You buy some black fabric paint, and slip a piece of cardboard inside the shirt. Harry lays down some newspaper for you on his kitchen floor, and watches you intently while you paint the zig zag on the front and back of the yellow shirt.

“Okay, now don’t touch this, and just let it dry, I don’t want it getting smudged.” You hand it to him, and he places it on his desk to lean against the wall.

“Do you like to paint?”

“I do, actually. My Nannie used to paint when she was younger, I actually have some of her art hanging in my apartment.”

“Maybe we could go to one of those like, wine and paint nights at a bar sometime.”

“You’d be into something like that?”

“Sure, Niall and I have actually done it together a couple of times, it’s pretty relaxing.” You burst out laughing.

“You two have the weirdest friendship.” You say wiping tears from his eyes.

“Oi, what’s the difference between two men having a boys night and two girls having a girls night?”

“I suppose not much, it’s just funny to picture you both getting wine drunk and painting. But from your original point, I think it would be a lot of fun if we did that sometime.”

//

You had your period this week, so you couldn’t wait for Halloween to roll around because you knew you’d be done by then. You took out your white jumpsuit. It was cute, low cut with spaghetti straps. You bought it because it had pockets and because it was boot cut. The ones that flared out too much made your legs look weird. You slipped it on, and twirled in your mirror. It really made your butt look great. You left your hair down and straight, and stuck your dog ears on. Then you took out your black choker and your red choker, still not being able to decide which one would make more sense. You didn’t want to look like Brian Griffin, so you went with the black choker. You paint a black nose onto yourself. You slipped your white pumps on, and waited for Harry.

Harry strolled into your place around eight-thirty. He had a pair of black converse on, paired with black shorts, and the yellow shirt you had made for him. His jaw nearly hits the floor when he sees you.

“I didn’t know snoopy could be so sexy.” He says walking over to you. “Is, um, aunt flow still in town?”

“No, she left yesterday.” You giggle. “I didn’t know you owned sneakers like that.”

“I had to really dig them out of my closet. I tried to make the outfit work with my boots, but it just wasn’t happening.” You notice his nails were now black and yellow.

“Can I just say I love that you color coordinated your nails?” You hold his hand looking over the colors.

“Hey, when I commit to something, I commit.” You give him a funny look. “Right, shall we head over?”

“Yup, let me just grab my bag. We’ll go back to your place after, yeah?”

“Works for me.” He smiles, and takes your bag down to the car, checking out your ass in your jumpsuit. “That really is a sexy outfit, (y/n).” You feel your cheeks heat up when he places a hand on your thigh as he drives to Niall’s.

“Thank you, Harry.” You give his hand a little squeeze.

When you get up to Niall’s, the place was already packed. You spot him right away. He had a white t-shirt on that said ‘chill’ on it and you immediately rolled your eyes. You spot Sarah who is wearing a tight red dress that she pinned the word Netflix to. Niall comes over to the greet you, and to take the bottle of wine you brought.

“Glad you guys could make it.” He looks you both up and down. “Charlie Brown and Snoopy? Damn, why didn’t I think of that?”

“Because you are unoriginal, mate.” Harry grabs your hand and brings you over to the drink cart to make the two of you drinks. You wave to Sarah who gives you a thumbs up.

You just realized you had never been to a big party with Harry before. Well, you both had been at Niall’s holiday party last year, but you weren’t there together. Nor did the two of your even speak. You remember him slightly talking to a group of girls who were probably all waiting the clock out to see who he would take home with him.

Rachel was there with a girl, who you recognized as the girl she took home from the bar over a month ago. You make eye contact with her, and you both wink at each other. You were so happy your friend groups were merging.

“Oi! It’s the lad himself!” You hear a man with a thicker British accent yell to Harry. Harry whips his head around, and you swear you had never seen him smile quite so big. The man was wearing all yellow and had a picture of Heinz Mustard on his belly. Ketchup probably not too far away.

“Lou!” Harry yells back, and the two practically run into each other’s arms. “What the fuck are ya doin’ here?”

“I drove in for the party, that alright with ya?” The two hug for another second, before Harry turns back to introduce you.

“Babe, this is my mate Louis. Louis, this is my girlfriend, (y/n).” You hold your hand out to shake, and he takes it kindly.

“Nice to meet ya.”

“Same to you. So, did you go to college with Harry and Niall?”

“Yeah we spent some time at uni together. It’s so funny, ya live in the same country with a guy, only a couple of hours away your whole life, and it takes goin’ ‘cross the pond at some random school to meet.”

“And you also decided to stay in the states?”

“Yeah, well the girl I was with at the time convinced me to stay here with her. We broke up eventually, but by that time I had already gone through the process of dual citizenship.”

“Oh I see.”

“Mate, El is here with me tonight, I’m sure she’d love to see ya, let me go grab her.” You see Harry roll his eyes after Louis leaves.

“I fucking hate his girlfriend, her name is Eleanor.”

“Oh, why do you hate her?” You put a hand on his arm to soothe him.

“She just rubs me the wrong way. She hated how close Lou and I were, that’s why he lives like two hours away, because the three of us would hang out all the time. The three of us lived together for a while, and she yanked him right out.” Louis walks over with Eleanor, and yup, she’s ketchup.

“Hi Harry.” She says with what you assume is a fake smile, because he’s giving her one as well. They give each other a small hug.

“Hey El, this is my girlfriend, (y/n).”

“Hi, love, nice to meet ya.” Why were there so many British people in this area? How did they find each other? “Girlfriend! Well, it’s ‘bout damn time, H.” You look up at him and scrunch your nose. You had never heard anyone refer to him like that. 

“Was just waitin’ for the right girl.” He hooks an arm around your waist, and you feel peaceful.

“Harry, come do shots with me like old times. I know Niall has that good tequila.”

“Deal.” The boys go into the kitchen to find shot glasses, leaving you with Eleanor.

“Did ya ever watch Boy Meets World growin’ up?” You make a face at the odd question, but laugh.

“Um, yeah, I loved that show.”

“Right, well, what you’re lookin’ at”, she points to the boys who are clinking two shot glasses together. You already know you’re going to have to uber back to Harry’s later. “is a the real life Cory and Shawn.”

“Which one of us is Topanga?” You giggle.

“Me, of course. I was always the third wheel with them. I met Louis in grad school, and you would think that two boys wouldn’t act like such children around each other.” You didn’t think Harry was close with someone other that Niall. “Jesus, and when the three of them would get together.” She rolls her eyes.

“They seem to really miss each other. It’s good for guys to have friends.”

“Oh I agree, I don’t mind Niall. Harry just never really warmed up to me, and would make things difficult for Lou and I. I know he blames me for why Lou lives so far away, but I got a really good job offer and he wanted to come with me.”

“I get it. My best friend lives outside the city, and it’s hard enough to get together with her only an hour away.” Yes, you still considered Kate to be your best friend, even if you still weren’t talking to her. “It’s a two way street, both people have to make the effort.”

“We invite Harry to visit all the time, but he always say no. I think he would feel like the third wheel, not that that’s possible. Maybe now that he has you, you could convince him to come out for a weekend here and there. We can’t stay with him here because he doesn’t have space for us. And hotels can be so expensive.”

“Sure, I could definitely put a bug in his ear.” You hadn’t been away with Harry yet, you didn’t really want your first weekend away to be with another couple, but you would see how things go.

“Thanks, Jesus, look at them.” You see them laughing as they take another shot. “That’s their third shot you know? We officially no longer exist at this party.” Before you can say anything, Sarah comes up to you with a shot glass for yourself.

“Here, Harry asked me to do one with you.” You take the cold glass from her and tip your head back.

“I love tequila, I’m gonna get more. Eleanor come on, come do a shot.” She sighs, but follows you into the kitchen.

You grab a lime and some salt. You cut up the lime into small sections.

“What are you doin’?” Harry slurs. Wait, Harry is drunk? He never gets drunk.

“I’m gonna do some shooters.”

“Shooters?” He mimics your American accent.

“Yup, give me your hand.” You lick a small spot on the top of his hand, his eyes growing wide at the PDA, and shake some salt on it. You do the same to your own hand. “Okay, so, how it goes is, you lick the salt, take the shot, and suck on the lime.”

Eleanor and Louis do as you did, and you all lick the salt at the same time. You take your shot, and grab the lime immediately to suck on. Harry can’t help but watch as your teeth sink into the fruit and suck the juice. You take it out of your mouth and look at them.

“See, way more fun way to take a shot.”

You start to feel a bit tipsy, and suddenly the music is calling you. You walk away without saying anything to find Sarah and Rachel. The three of you form a little group so you can dance. Niall really did have the perfect layout for a party. There was room to sit or stand around to just chat, and he had the room for dancing. Whatever playlist was on was hitting just right. Some oldies and newer hits was the perfect combination.

Eleanor leaves to use the bathroom, and Niall goes to stand with Louis and Harry, as the boys watch the girls dance.

“I gotta say Harry, she sure knows how to move it.” Louis says.

“Yeah, she sure does. I would have loved to know her in uni, apparently she was quite the party animal.”

“The three of them were.” Niall says, taking a sip of his drink. “Sarah has told me some wild stories. (y/n) apparently is one of the most fun people to party with.”

You move along effortlessly to the beat of the song. You and your friends are laughing and singing along loudly to the music, but no one can really hear you. A lot of other people start dancing, it might as well be a club in here.

“Lou?” Eleanor says after coming back from the bathroom.

“Yeah, love?”

“Come dance with me?”

“You bet, see ya guys out there.” Harry rolls his eyes as Eleanor drags him away.

“Why didn’t you tell me he was comin’?” Harry looks at Niall with a pout.

“Thought he was goin’ to flake. He’ll be around all weekend, don’t worry you two can have some alone time, I’ll make sure of it. Just try to pretend to be happy for him.”

“I am happy for him, I just wish he found any other girl to make him happy.” Niall starts to walk away. “Where you goin’?”

“My girl is out there shakin’ her ass, so you better believe I’m gonna go dance with her, and you should do the same, plenty of guys are watchin’ her.” He points over at you, and it was true. Plenty of people were watching you.

A drunk Harry stumbles over to you, and wraps his arms around your waist, pressing himself against your backside. He starts dancing with you, like really dancing with you. He wasn’t the embarrassed man who referred to himself as a giraffe the first time you went dancing with him. You wondered if this was what he was like in college, if he would grind with girls to show them what he had, and bring them home with him. You shake the thought from your head, and move against him in perfect rhythm. He turns your around to face him, his hands slipping down to your butt. You wrap your arms around his neck, and dance on him. He’s dying to know your college stories. You seem like such a good girl, but maybe not, and he wanted to hear all about it.

In a bold move, almost forgetting where you were, you grab hold of his collar, and yank his face down to yours, kissing him. He puts his hands on your face, and pulls you in for a deeper kiss, while your hands go on his hips. Your tongue is instantly in his mouth, and he tastes like tequila. He was so incredibly sexy, and you were extremely turned on. You hadn’t been able to do anything all week with your period in the way. You still pleasured him because you wanted to, but you missed his touch.

“Jesus, look at ‘em go.” Louis nudges Niall, taking a break from the dancing.

“You know, I’ve only ever seen them kiss in public once, and it was nothin’ like that.”

“He’s really into her, huh?”

“He asked her to be his girlfriend three weeks in.”

“Wow, yup, he’s got it bad. Wonder what it is?”

“She’s just…a good person. Instant connection.”

“Good for the lad, he deserves a good woman.”

Harry breaks your kiss, as he remembered where you are. If you were anyone else, he would take you and lead you to the bathroom, press you against the wall, and take you from behind. But he couldn’t do that with you, not yet anyways.  He leaves you to dance with your friends, and you catch him dancing with Louis and Niall. You can’t help but take your phone out and take a quick video of the occasion. You and your friends take selfies and videos of yourselves. You’re still in awe of Harry, having more fun that you had ever seen him have. Louis brought out an exceptional mood in him. It was funny to see the three of them sing along to the same song, wondering what Harry’s singing voice might sound like.

The party slowly dissipated, but not before you and Harry were deemed best costumes. You didn’t win anything, but the bragging rights were nice. You offered to help clean up, but Sarah told you she would help Niall. Harry was in deep conversation with Louis while you went to grab your coats. They were looking at Louis’ phone and snickering like children. You smile and hand Harry his coat.

“Lou, I’m gonna go get settled in the guest room, night Harry.” Eleanor said.

“You’re stayin’ here?”

“Yeah, hotel was too expensive. What are you up to tomorrow, was hoping to just have lunch with the lads.”

“I can definitely do that.” Harry turns to you. “You don’t mind right?”

“Not at all, babe.”

“Just text me tomorrow, mate.” The two hug, and Harry hooks an arm around your waist. “Oi, Niall!” Harry yells.

“What?” He yells from the kitchen.

“Great party mate, I’ll be by tomorrow.”

The cold air on the street slaps the two of you in the face.  You take your phone out to order an uber as Harry holds you from behind, humming into your hair. You had never seen him quite so drunk before. Usually you were the one that was drunk while he was perfectly fine. You were still buzzed, but you were nowhere near where he was. You lost count of how many shots he had actually taken. You just knew he consumed a lot of tequila.

The uber pulls up pretty quickly, and you both climb in. You keep an arm around Harry, and he rests his head against your shoulder, still humming some song you can’t quite make out. You key into his apartment, and immediately take your shoes off. He watches you walk into the bathroom. You really needed to pee, and you needed to wash off that black make up on your nose. You take your dog ears off, but leave everything else on. He’s by the sink drinking some water when you return.

“Didja have fun tonight baby?” He asks you, guzzling down the water.

“Yes, babe, don’t drink that so fast, it’ll upset your stomach.”

“Aw, are ya gonna take care of me tonight?” He says in the sweetest voice. “Treat me like your l’il baby?”

“Do you want to be treated like a baby?” You raise an eyebrow at his funny words.

“Not particularly.” He slurs. “Did you know that I love babies?”

“Yes, you’ve told me before, remember? You like shooting maternity photos for people.”

“You know, I really do.”

“I’m glad you had fun tonight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh so much.”

“S’not true.” He pouts. “You make me laugh all the time.”

“It’s okay, Harry. I have fun with my friends when we haven’t seen each other in a while too. You and Louis looked like you were having a great time.”

“We were, he’s really my best mate. Niall is too, the three of us are like the three amigos.”

“So I saw. It was funny watching you three dance together.”

“It was just like being in uni again. Everyone always wanted to come to our parties, we threw the best parties (y/n).”

“I believe it.”

“Are you mad?”

“What? No, of course not, why would I be?”

“Because I drank a lot more than I should have. I was supposed to get ya home.”

“But you did, the uber was just fine.”

“Let’s go sit on the couch, yeah?” He grabs you by the wrist and pulls you towards the couch. Before you can sit down he looks you up down. “Where’d ya nose go?”

“Washed it off.” You shrugged.

“This is such a sexy outfit, have I told ya that yet tonight?”

“Maybe once or twice.” You giggle. “But it’s always nice to hear.” He pulls you close to him, and pats your bum.

“You have the best ass I have ever seen, have I ever told you that?” You feel your cheeks flush. He was starting to get fresh. You slip your hands to his butt to mimic what he’s doing to you.

“I could say the same about you.” Giving one of his cheeks a little pinch, he jumps back a half inch.

“Oi, if you do that again, we’re going to have a problem.”

“Oh really?”

You start pinching at him again, and he starts to tickle you, making a ghastly laugh come from you. You slap your hand over your mouth, but he pulls it away. You try to tickle him back, and you end up chasing him around his little apartment. He picks you up from behind, swinging you around, making you squeal. He puts you down on the bed, he hops over you and lays on his back, he looks at you and taps his legs. You get the idea and crawl on top of him, straddling his legs.

“I’d like this to come off ya now.” He slips your straps off your shoulders. “If that’s alright with you.”

You lean up, and put your arms through the straps. You push the material down only a little, causing Harry to pout for the millionth time tonight.

“I’m not wearing a bra with this.”

“I know.”

“I like when you take your time with me.”

Harry sits up against the headboard so you can sit on him easier. He brings his mouth to your jaw, and kisses down your neck. He sinks his teeth in where he always does. The skin must be raw there with how often he kisses you in that spot. He licks over it to soothe you, and kisses down your chest. His hands move up to your breasts, and kneads them through the material. He looks up at you for approval, and you nod yes. One hand moves to the back of the jumpsuit, and un zips the small zipper so he can easily tug the material down. Your breasts pop out, and he looks like a kid in candy store. Sloppy wet kisses cover your chest instantly. He sucks on your left breast, and you groan with your head rolling back. He take the piercing between his teeth and he twists it. You roll your hips on him involuntarily.

“You like that?” He coos. You nod your head. “Use your words baby.”

“Yes, I like that.” You say through your teeth, as he continues to suck on your tender nipple. Your hands go straight into his hair and rake over his scalp, causing him to moan while he sucks on you.

“I gotta get his off of ya, please will you let me?”

“Yes, but you have to take yours off too.”

You hope off the bed, and he does the same. You take his shirt off him, and push his shorts down his legs, careful to leave his boxers on. Your jumpsuit falls off, pooling at your feet, and revealing a white lace thong. Harry furrows his eyebrows.

“You, you were wearing this all night?”

“Um, yeah?”

He takes you, and gently bends you over the bed. You rubs a hand over your ass. You half expect him to spank you, but he knows better, he knows you don’t want that. A finger dips into the material, and he plays with it for a moment.

“Your ass looks amazing right now.” You start giggling. “What?”

“I can’t tell if you’re an ass man or a tit man. You seem to really like both.” You say looking back at him.

“If it’s a part of your body, then I like it.” He puts both hands on your ass and kneads your cheeks. “This is just pure perfection.” He leans forward to press himself against you. He’s so hard against you, it makes you push back into him. “(y/n), can we try something different tonight?”

“Harry”, you stand up to face him, taking his hands in yours. This was a dreaded question. Selfishly, you liked things how they were. You knew he wanted to feel every inch of you, but you were still working through things at therapy, and you just couldn’t let him touch you like that yet. You sigh, feeling awful. “I’m so sorry, I’m just not ready for-“ You’re cut off by his hands on your face and his mouth on yours.

“I didn’t mean, doing more. I just had a different position in mind. I’m not ever going to suggest anything more until you say so.” He reassures her.

“Alright, what did you have in mind?”

“Well, first, how would you feel about sitting on my face?” Your eyes nearly pop out. That wasn’t something you did often. Even though his head had been between your legs countless time, sitting on his face just seemed really vulnerable. But you’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on. To ride his face, to be so in control of the situation.

“Yeah, we could try that. What was the second?”

“Hm?”

“You said first, what’s the second position?”

“Let’s just try this, and then I’ll bring that up.” He says with a grin.

“Okay, but, let’s turn the lights off.” You point the switch on the wall, and he flicks it off.

“Take your panties off baby.”

You slide the thong off and toss it on the floor. He leaves his boxers on for now. Harry lays on the bed, right next to you. Your breathing felt heavy as you crept your way up to him.

“Don’t be shy, love. You’re so beautiful, I’m dying to see you from this angle.”

With his words of encouragement, you swung your leg over him, and lowered yourself onto his face. You were already dripping for him. The second he started sucking on your nipples you were a goner. Harry started to suck on your clit, and you grabbed at his headboard. You let out a breathless moan at the way he nibbled and sucked on your most sensitive area. You sunk down on him a little, and he moved his mouth to your warm, dripping center. His tongue lapped around you for a moment, but went up inside you so you could ride him. His hands moved to your hips and gently rocked you. You started to move yourself slowly against his face. His little bit of stubble adding the perfect amount of friction. Before you knew it, you were grinding down on him back and forth, riding his tongue. Your moans started to get louder and louder, clutching at the headboard, trying to pinch your legs together, looking for some release. But his hands on your thighs kept your legs open. You didn’t know if it was the different angle, or the fact that you were so in control, but you were feeling amazing. You loved looking down seeing him under you like this. You rocked faster on him, a thumb moving to rub your clit. That’s when you knew you were done for.

“Oh, fuck, Harry! Fuck!” You moaned out, over and over. “I’m goonnnnaaa, ahhh…” You came, hard on his tongue. He slowly sucked on you so you could ride your high out. He lifted you off of him, and he wipes his face. His chest was heaving up and down, and slowly he steadied it. He looked up at you and smiled.

“That was so hot, did you like it?”

“Yeah, it felt incredible. So, um…” You knew you weren’t done with him yet. “What was the other position?”

“Eager?”

“Curious.”

“I want to do that to you, while you do it to me.” You furrow your eyebrows for a second, putting two and two together. A slight squeak leaving your mouth.

“Are you asking me to 69?” He nods at you.

“Would you feel comfortable with that?”

“Well, would you have to eat me out…like from behind?”

“Yup.” He’s so comfortable with it. You weren’t sure if you wanted to have your ass in his face like that. You also didn’t want him accidentally licking your asshole or something. “If you don’t want to it’s okay, I just thought it might be fun to do that at the same time.”

“Well, we can try, and if I feel weird we’ll stop.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

You reach down and tug at his boxers. He lifts his hips up so you can bring them down his legs, tossing them aside. You wanted him in your mouth, that wasn’t the problem. You also didn’t want to be that close to his asshole either. He probably didn’t care because he was still intoxicated. You stare at his dick, it is absolutely throbbing for you, this snaps you out of any concern.

“Right, so it’s a little easier if we both lay on our side.” Confirmation that he’s done this before, wonderful. You want to roll your eyes at him, but you know he didn’t mean anything by the comment.

You lay on your left side, eyeing his dick that has begun to leak at the tip. You feel him move between your legs, as you stroke your thumb over his tip. His mouth is on you again, and you moan out that different sensation you’re getting from having him lick you from the opposite direction. You put on hand on his hip, and the other on his dick. You start out with just the tip in your mouth while your hand worked his base. You feel Harry groan into you, causing you to moan with him in your mouth. You had never done something quite so erotic. He licked you quicker and quicker, as you bobbed your head, taking more of him into your mouth. He rocks his hips into you as you do to him, you’re way more turned on than you thought you’d be. His chin is rubbing against your clit as his tongue goes back inside you.

“Ahh, shit!” You say with him in your mouth, taking him deeper. You feel him hit the back of your throat as he rocks into you, and you choke on him for a second. He stops to see if you’re alright. “Fuck, don’t stop Harry!” You say pumping just for a moment before wrapping your swollen lips around him again.

You felt your stomach tighten and you knew your release was coming. You could feel tears streaming down your cheeks from having his cock so deep down your throat, but you loved the way he tasted. Neither of you warn each other, just as you’re releasing on his tongue, his hot come comes shooting to the back of your throat. You take as much of it into your mouth as you can, but you need to moan out from your high. You cough up some of his come back on his dick, and you try to catch your breath. Harry turns his body so he’s fully laying on his back. You swallow what you can of the come that’s still in your mouth. You feel him yank at your arm, and he pulls you up, so you’re lying on his chest. He’s stroking your hair, trying to steady his breathing. His chest is laced with sweat.

“How, how did you like that?”

“It was different. But it felt amazing. I love the way it feels when you’re do that and you moan into me, it’s so hot Harry.” He moves to kiss you but you back away. “I should really go rinse my mouth out first.”

“It doesn’t bother me.” His pupils are still blown out. You look at his dick, it’s twitching, could it really be getting hard again? “Lemme kiss ya.”

“Please, I just want to rinse my mouth out, hold on a sec.” You quickly go to the bathroom, and rinse your mouth out. You’re back to the bed quick, just like you said. “See? Okay, now I’ll kiss you.”

You lean down and kiss him, slightly tasting yourself on his lips, but it’s not a big deal. He sucks on your bottom lip, biting it pretty good, and you groan. Your hands are in his hair in seconds, pulling at it. He wraps his arms around you, and pulls you on top of him. You keep your lower half hovering over him, not wanting to make contact.

“Please, I’m so hard again, please touch me.” He says against your lips.

“I thought when guys drank like this they had a hard time getting it up.” You say taking him into your small hand, giving him slow pumps.

“It has the opposite effect on me, god that feels good.”

You pump him until he’s panting. You loved the sight of his parted lips, and the way his hands grabbed all over your body.

“(y/n), can I please come on your ass?” You’re surprised at him.

“Um, sure.” You squeak.

You get off him quickly and lay on your stomach. He grips himself in one hand, and puts the other on your hip. He pulls you up slightly so your butt is more in the air. You hear him moan out, and it nearly makes you come again. Sensing this, at the sight of you squeezing your legs together, Harry reaches around to rub your clit, careful to only use his thumb.

“Fuck!” You scream out, feeling your third release of the night come at the same you feel his hot come spread all over of your back and butt. You nearly collapse on the mattress. You hear the bed creak, and watch as Harry saunters to the bathroom, coming back with a towel. He wipes you clean, and you turn over, amazed by him and what his simple touch does to you. You know you need to get up to pee, if you don’t you’ll regret it. He puts on a clean pair of boxers, and watches you go into the bathroom. You’re still crazy wet. A mix of you and him. You almost feel bad having to wipe it all away, but no guy will ever be worth having a UTI for.

“Here, wanna wear my shirt? You always look so cute in my clothes.” He coos, holding up a t-shirt. You happily take it and put it on. You get back on the bed with him, and he hugs you close to his bare chest. “You did so good baby, so good. You were amazing.” He rubs your back. You loved the way he always tried to make you feel better. It’s not like you were having BDSM, it’s not like he slapped you around. It wasn’t like you needed time to come back to him. But he knew you were always after doing something new or different.

“It was really nice, Harry. A good suggestion.” You snuggle into him, and he puts the comforter over the both of you. “Thank you for always being so nice to me.” You knew he’d be rougher with you if you let him. You knew if you said the word, you’d let him raw you over his desk. That was the thing with him though. He always asked for permission, and he didn’t do anything unless you said so.

#take it slow #harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles fluff fic #harry styles smut #harry styles smut fic #smut #fluff #harry styles fic

[extremelyblackandwhite]

Okaay you have me all soft for Lee 🥰. Sooo if you wanted to write this, how would he react to reader being pregnant?

mina this is making my baby fever return

i feel lee and y/n would not consider having a baby straight after their wedding, specially during re-elections and with y/n climbing up the job ladder

they did discuss it and both want a baby but they also wanna enjoy being married to each other, just the two of them for a little while 

y/n ends up getting pregnant a year and a half after their wedding straight by accident after she decided to show lee the lingerie given to her by the last company she created advertising for 

she would definitely not tell lee straightaway. y/n is a very rational person but also incredibly nervous so i see her going through the first month and not wanting to tell him afraid she might lose the baby or it might just be a false positive

she ends up deciding to tell lee she’s pregnant once she’s three months along. it wasn’t that she didn’t want to tell him, just after the first month she forgot with all her work load. she probably let it out by accident that she was pregnant.

“how was work, sugar?” “i think i hate chicken now.” “oh, ok. working for a chicken company?” “no, daniel from art department brought in a chicken sandwich and i swear it made me nauseous.” “must’ve been a disgusting sandwich” “i swear i don’t understand myself anymore. i am craving chicken burgers but i’m nauseous at chicken at the same time. i hate being pregnant” “you’re pregnant?” “yeah ... oh ... i forgot to tell you. yeah i am” “you’re pregnant and you didn’t tell me?” “i’m sorry darling, it’s just with the new playtex and heinz advertising, i just forgot.” “so you’re not joking?” “no. i am pregnant” 

lee is very protective of y/n while pregnant. he knows not a lot of people like him, scratch that, no people like him. he’s constantly afraid someone will try to hurt her.

he’ll follow her literally everywhere unless she is going to work. he will not admit it, but he’s very proud to walk around the grocery shop next to his pregnant wife who everyone thought would divorce him

y/n would mostly stay at home as she’s always tired but she purposely decides to go grocery shopping. why? she wants to be petty and ensure lee’s ex-wife sees she’s pregnant. ofc lee has noticed this.

“y/n, we can go grocery shopping tomorrow.” “nope, we’re going today” “jane already knows you’re pregnant” “it’s not because of jane” “your jealousy is showing, sugar” “i’m not jealous” “it’s adorable” “i’m not jealous”

y/n and lee taking. day off so they can paint the baby nursery until lee realises y/n has no ideas how to paint a room “sugar, sugar baby, that’s not how you do it” “yes it is” “you need to prime the walls first” “sounds unnecessary” “well our baby has to have the best room” “taylor from work said she can score us a free crib. one of those really cute ones with the white wood” “sounds great, sugar”

lee would definetely like to cuddle against y/n or lay by her side and flash his flashlight at her belly whenever the baby is kicking

“you almost have a tummy as big as mine now, sugar” “it’s so heavy, i’m so heavy. i’m heavy and bloated and tired” “just think in only a few months we’re gonna have a baby all our own” “lee ... have you ever considered maybe leaving knockemstiff?” “yeah, i mean, when you told me you were pregnant i was considering maybe moving out town, a bit closer so i can still work but ...” “i’ve checked and you can transfer to new york, they lost their sheriff a few months ago” “new york? sugar, that’s a long way” “things are different there, okay. a lot of girls work already and we get equal pay now. things here are not gonna change and i don’t want my daughter to just be someone’s wife” “you wanna go to new york, sugar?” “i’ve been offered a permanent position. i could be more than a copywriter, lee” “does that make you happy?” “you make me happy, lee. i’m just suggesting ... maybe it’s pregnancy brain” “you think i can actually be a sheriff?” “you’re a sheriff, lee” “a knockemstiff sheriff, it ain’t the same sugar” “i think you’ll even be better without these morons around” “new york huh” “yeah.” “ya know i’ve always wanted to see one of those broadway plays, sugar” “i made the calculations. we can still keep this house as a vacation home, we have my grandma’s investment and my great grandparents inheritance in new york which is good enough to buy us a great home” “well sugar, seems like we painted the room for no reason then” “yeah ... we did, didn’t we?” 

[myhockeyworld87]

Not So Dangerous Liaison - Sidney Crosby - Part 3

Word Count: 2,340

POV: Reader than switches to Sid

Warnings: Language

Notes: I had planned on this being a bit longer but with everything that happened I didn’t get to write as much as I want. Also this was kind of unplanned, but since everyone wanted a prank included I decided to write it in. Hope you guys enjoy!

Not So Dangerous Liaison Masterlist

You stood there wracking your brain trying to figure out what you had done or said that first night you met Sidney Crosby. He'd done a full one-eighty in twenty-four hours on you. When you'd left the party you actually thought, that there was quite possibly something between the two of you, but since then it was painfully obvious that he'd changed his mind. It was never more evident than in this moment right now when he clearly could've cared less about the snacks and extras that you'd had delivered to his room, let alone the book you'd left. His simple, 'oh yeah, thanks,' made it evident that he just tolerated you and your job with the team.

 You knew it was going to be hard with him. It was part of the reason why you added the book on Egyptian history for him, hoping that it would sort of be a peace offering, or at least some common ground for you both. If he didn't appreciate that, he was surely going to hate the one on ancient Rome that would be waiting for him in D.C. It was too late now, you weren't going to not send it. If anything it only strengthened your resolve to somehow get yourself and Sid to at least be friends, since there would obviously never be anything more.

 The following morning you headed on the bus with the team to the arena for morning skate, where everything went great. You began to see why the guys took naps in the afternoon, as their schedule was super demanding. As you headed back on the bus, for the game, you didn't expect Tanger, to grab the seat next to you. "So, how are things going so far?"

 "Really good I think." It was true all the guys had been super nice and so receptive to all that you'd been doing for the team, well everyone except Sid. You chose not to get into that with Tanger though, so instead, you added. "Unless you've heard something different?" It seemed like a smart way to see about Sid's indifference, without flat out asking him how Sidney felt about your new role.

 "God, no. Everyone loves you. You really outdid yourself with the little care packages. We all appreciated them." Well, not everyone.

 "Just trying to do my part and make the trip a little easier for you guys."

 "Speaking of that. I was wondering if I could ask a favor." He ran a hand through his hair as if he was nervous, which seemed silly since you'd known Tanger for a while now.

 "Sure, that's my job you know. I'm here to be helpful."

 "Well, this is kind of personal. Alex's birthday is coming up and…well Catherine always does the shopping and comes up with something over the top for him. I was hoping that this time, maybe I'd have some great suggestion to give her. Obviously, I suck though, because I can't think of a damn thing."

 "Oh, I can totally help with that." You took out your phone as the bus pulled into the arena, everyone filing out to get ready for the game. "Let me see what I can come up with and I'll get back to you."

 "Yeah, that would be great." You followed Tanger off the bus, then went about a few odds and ends that you started helping the staff with. It was probably about forty-five minutes later that he found you again.

 "Hey (Y/N), I had this awesome idea about Alex's birthday present."

 "Oh yeah, what were you thinking." You asked as you made your way over to the locker room where Tanger was standing. He opened the door for you to come in. You tended to avoid going into the room unless it was necessary, not that you couldn't. Social media was in there all the time filming things, so it wouldn't be like you were the only female in there. It just seemed like a line you weren't ready to cross yet; though at the moment you had no choice but to follow him.

 As you gazed around the room, you had to appreciate the way Dana Heinze and his guys made the locker room feel more like home. Each stall had a nameplate on it, and the Pens emblem was placed throughout the room. Most of the guys were in there, prepping for the game. They didn't even take notice that you were there. "Tanger, you're up." Hollered Chris, one of the team trainers.

 "Shit, can you grab my phone out of my bag. I saved it in there." You wandered over to where his bag sat. It still amazed you how they lugged all this equipment around. You had a feeling it was going to be a challenge to find a cell phone in the damn thing with how big it was. Crouching down, you pulled the zipper back the whole way to shed some light into the black piece of luggage. That's when Marc-Andre popped out with a loud roar.

 "Jesus Christ!" You screamed stumbling back, as your heel caught on some random piece of equipment on the floor. You would've landed flat on your ass if it hadn't been for someone grabbing you around the waist and holding you tight against their body. Even though you'd literally just been scared half to death, you somehow felt safe in this person's arms; like nothing bad could happen to you as long as he was around. It was a bad feeling to have considering this was a new job, and you didn't need to be developing feelings for a player. You took another minute to just absorb the feeling of being in this person's arms, as well as catch your breath.

 He must have heard or felt your deep intake of breath, for the next thing you knew he was saying. "It's ok. I got you." You knew that voice, well you honestly knew all the guys' voices; you just weren't used to be held in their embrace. When you looked back, Sid's brown eyes were staring into yours. They were filled with concern, and well something else, desire. You could see it in his eyes as much as you were sure that yours reflected the same. It was dangerous territory and there was no exploring it as the whole team had their eyes on you.

 "Thanks," you said righting yourself. You turned your full attention to Flower than. "What the hell, Flower! You just scared the crap out of me." You were laughing along with the rest of the room now, and Marc-Andre had the biggest smile on his face.

 "Welcome to the team." He said coming over and giving you a big hug. "You're not an official member until we prank you."

 "Oh my god, you should've seen your face." Horny came up and embraced you as well. "It was priceless."

 "I got it all on video too," Tanger said holding his phone up, that you were suppose to be looking for.

 "Wait…you guys were all in on this?" You looked around the room and about half the guys were nodding their head.

 "We do it to all the new guys. Couldn't leave you out." Most of the guys came over and gave you a hug, saying that you were a good sport about things.

 "You do realize I know where all of you sleep right? And I will get you back." You shot back with a little laugh before exiting the locker room. "Now get your asses ready or we'll see who scared of who." The moment you shut the door, you leaned against it heavily to stop your racing heart. To anyone else, it would look as though you were still recovering from having the wits scared out of you, but what you couldn't get over was the feeling of being held in Sidney's arms and the look in his eyes.

 All this time you thought he was indifferent to you, but that look told you otherwise. You could still feel his hands wrapped around; it was like an imprint that couldn't be wiped away. There were so many things going through your brain at the moment, and yet this wasn't the place or time to think about it. You pushed away from the door, just as it opened; startling you once again.

 "Hey (Y/N)," thankfully it was Tanger's voice and not the man who was at the forefront of your mind. "I don't need that present for Alex, Catherine has it covered." You rolled your eyes at him, you should've known that was part of the prank. He just shrugged his shoulders at you. "I had to sell it, didn't I?" You took a towel and threw in his face before, heading down the hallway to get back to work.

 SID'S POV

 What the hell had just happened? No one had told him they were going to prank (Y/N), for if they had he would've advised against it, but damn had the timing been right for her to literally fall in your arms. When she'd walked into the locker room, you couldn't breathe. It seemed like every time there was a game, the woman dressed in something to tantalize your dreams. There was nothing left to do but walk out of the locker room and get some air. That's when you had the misfortune or fortune as it were, to be in the perfect spot to catch her as Marc-Andre scared her.

 Her body fit perfectly to yours, as your arms came around her mid-section to steady her. Your forearm had brushed the underside of her breast and just that small contact alone had you yearning for more. There was an undeniable spark between the two of you at that moment, and when she turned to look at you; you knew she felt it too. At least she had the sense to recover because right now you didn't give a damn that there was a game to be played in an hour. You wanted nothing more than to haul her off to some dark secluded corner and kiss her senseless.

 The thoughts running through your head were pure madness. You shouldn't be thinking about the things you wanted to do to her body or how you wanted to know what she felt like under those layers of clothing. You needed to pull yourself together, you had sixty minutes of hockey and a team that needed your attention. So, when Rusty called out to see if you were playing soccer that's what you decided you needed to do to get your mind off of (Y/N).

 Three hits into the warmup ritual, you were still thinking about her. Only this time it was about the last game and how she'd touched your hat and brought you good luck. That superstitious side of yours, kept an eye out for her so that you could do it again. However, this time she was nowhere to be found. Frustrated, with both yourself and your irrational tendencies, you headed into the locker room and tried to focus on the game ahead.

 The first period you played like shit and Ottawa was up one to nothing. You were beginning to wish that you would have just asked (Y/N) to touch your hat, for it felt like you were now being cursed or maybe that was happening because you'd held her a little too close to your body earlier and your bad game was some form of punishment. By the middle of the second, you were sure it was the latter, for the Senators were up, three zip. Thankfully Horny was at least able to get you on the board with one goal shortly thereafter. You'd just spent a particularly long shift out on the ice and were skating back to the bench when you saw her on the ramp, nervously watching the game with such intensity as if by sheer will alone, she would have one of you to score a goal.

 As you sat on the bench, something in you shifted and you stopped thinking about your silly superstitions and decided that if (Y/N) seemed to have that much faith in the team so were you. As you skated out on your next shift, the puck somehow found your stick on a pass from Horny. A spin to the left and a fake on your opponent and you tapped the puck into the back of the net, cutting the other teams lead to only one. As your teammates crowded you, it wasn't words of celebration you shared but ones of motivation. And when you made your way back to the bench, there she was smiling brighter than the sun. It was contagious and you could help but smile back when she caught your eye.

 When the third period started the team was on fire, Carl Hagelin scoring shortly into the period to tie the game. There was a feeling deep in your chest that you were going to win this one, and somewhere in your mind, you acknowledged you want to do it for (Y/N). Things changed though, when Beau went down, after a bad hit from Zibanejad. The medical staff was on top of things as they took him back to the locker room and you saw (Y/N) disappear with them. She missed the rest of the game, and also the empty netter you put in sealing your victory. By the time the buzzer sounded, and you headed down the ramp; you could just make out (Y/N) and Beau heading out of the arena. Beau's arm wrapped around her as she helped him out. The rational part of you, told you she was just doing her job and helping him; though it was the irrational one that told you it looked more like a girlfriend tending to her injured man. Unfortunately for you this time, the illogical part of you won out as you found yourself jealous of your teammate the first time in your life.  

#Not So Dangerous Liaison Series #Sidney Crosby #sidney crosby imagine #Sidney Crosby Imagines #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey fanfiction #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic

[thesunflowersutra]

Happy monday! For the oc questions list: 1, 17, 21, 36, 42 and 50.

Helloo, Lily! Have a great week! <3 I have a few OCs but I'll try to answer for the same three that I am writing the most currently! :D As I was writing this, I felt like it was becoming a long post so I'll answer it under the read more!

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything? Heinz Betelgeuse, Ernst Krause and Arthur Eduardo Frahlich.

Heinz: I wanted to create a historian for some reason HAHAAH I wanted him to be german. Most of his roleplay/stories I wrote are in the 20th Century, after WWII or during the 70s, in Germany. However, when I created him, I was planning to set him in the 2000s, so, his surname came as a joke with the Betelgeuse star + the movie Beetlejuice. Ernst: Honestly, I have no idea how I choose his name. He is an OC made for an old Wizarding World RP I used to be admin and he was a head curator for the Ministry of Magic and a teacher. I just felt like Ernst suited him for some reason. Arthur: This one is my baby. His first and second names were chosen for affection only HAHAHA His surname, however, got me into some search about immigration in Rio de Janeiro, since he is a french man who is living in Brazil.

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos? Heinz: Oh, he does! He is not very fond of taking pictures of himself but he saved some money to buy a secondhanded camera and loves to take pictures of his wife and landscapes. He usually keeps them in portraits and a small photobook. Ernst: Ernst adores photography but he usually uses it for practical purposes, like taking pictures of the magical objects that he encounters. Arthur: For someone who is dating a professional photographer, he hates pictures of himself because Arthie has a weird mood that if he looks too much at a photo of himself, he will start hating it and getting down to a self-hate lane. However, he loves taking stupid selfies of himself to send to said boyfriend or pictures of their cat/kids.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper? Heinz: He is weirdly patient - even during his academic life, he would rather talk for hours than get into a heated argument with someone else. When he does get angry, however, he tends to isolate himself until the feeling vanishes or he can focus on something else. Ernst: This man has 70% patience. He is a teacher, after all. However, when he gets mad, he is letal. He knows how to push buttons and he probably will go out of his way to annoy someone that he is mad with. Arthur: That depends. Arthur is very patient with his son/boyfriend/pets but not with other people. He has a lot of temper and is a little hot headed but he is genuinely nice and kind. He likes to annoy people and crack dark humor jokes about himself and that gets him into a lot of trouble for not being kind "with himself" as some people would say. That usually annoys him and makes him angry. 36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing? Heinz: He knows how to play the violin and he is a fantastic writer. He is not a very good singer but that doesn't stop him at all. Ernst: He learned the piano with his mother but he doesn't play it very often. His hobbies are wizard chess and some muggle card games. A great singer but no one will ever know. ;) Arthur: His hobbies are annoy people and talk about art for hours and hours and hours. He doesn't play any instruments but he is great with animals. 42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition? Heinz: His main goal is to have a happy and big family and provide them safety. As a historian, he wants to have a successfull career. He would sacrifice himself for his family or a cause if he had to. He is a selfless man. Ernst: He wants to make his family proud. Once I wrote a thing about him and his mother trying to usurp his aunt's job but that ain't the man he is now HAHAAH He would sacrifice himself for his mother and Aerys, definetely. Arthur: Arthur just wants to be happy. He has gone through a lot and he honestly deserves it. He wants to give his kids a good life and make Andrej happy. That's it. He is a french dude, of course he would sacrifice himself for something ;) 50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials? Heinz: He doesn't have a lot of stuff. He would probably pack a picture of his wife, a compass, his writing journal and a book. Ernst: He would pack his wand, some money and a very warm and expensive trench coat. Arthur: This nerd can't live without his phone and headphones. He would probably pack some snacks and a coat for Valentim if he was coming with him.

#answered #thank yoouuuu #i just love talking about them #oc: ernst krause #oc: arthur frahlich #oc: heinz betelgeuse

[humanperryfic]

Everybody Needs Somebody to Love

When uncle Perry coughs up a whole flower at breakfast, Candace is understandably worried. She's also confused when she realizes that he has no plans to confess his love.

Despite having no idea what's really going on, and being told not to interfere, Candace is determined to get her uncle and his crush together.

Life might not always be a romance novel, but Candace is going to make it as close as possible.

Title from the Blues Brothers song

AO3/FF.net

TW’s for mild blood

The alarm on Candace's bedside table goes off with an obnoxious beeping noise. Candace groans and throws her arm out, attempting to silence the annoying noise. It's a teacher workday, why did she set her alarm? 

That's right, she wanted a head-start on her busting. Looking out her window, she sees Phineas and Ferb already building. Perfect. 

She rolls out of bed and pulls on her usual outfit before running a brush through her hair. Despite her sleep-deprived brain, she manages to put together a few coherent answers to Stacy's overnight texts before leaving her room.

Candace stumbles down the stairs to the kitchen, barely managing to avoid tripping over her own feet. It's early, and she was awake until almost one in the morning last night. 

The only person who's in the kitchen is uncle Perry, who's pouring himself a bowl of cereal. Good morning, he signs. 

"Morning," she grumbles, scrubbing at her eyes to rid them of the typical early-morning bleariness. "Where's mom and dad?"

Antiques convention, remember?

Candace sighs. That's right. Mom and dad are at a three-day antiques convention over the long weekend, leaving Perry in charge. Which means no busting. As long as they're safe, Perry's perfectly fine with what the boys create.

If he's ever there to see the creations. He's always getting called off for work. 

Candace pulls her mug out of the cupboard, adds a teabag, and sets it next to Perry's, waiting for the kettle to boil. She could use the caffeine.

Stacy texts her back, so she sits down at the table to answer. After she sends the message, she puts her head down on the table. It's too early for anything to happen.

Perry sits down across from her, the bowl making a soft thump against the wood. He snaps his fingers to get her attention. 

Candace pries one eye open. "mmm-yeah?"

You should eat.

She shrugs. "After tea."

Suit yourself. 

Candace lays her head back on the table. It's still way too early to think about anything.

Perry starts coughing. Candace raises an eyebrow, still not picking her head up off the table. He's been sick since her freshman year, you'd think he'd be fine by now. Or at least that he'd see a doctor. It's kind of weird.

Eh, he's always been weird. He travels all over the place for work. He says he's a sort of special cop, but never wants to talk about his job. He doesn't talk, only makes that weird chattering noise. And he's always really weird about those Hanahaki soap operas, even though they're Candace's favorite.

Still, the cough is rather strange. 

Candace opens one eye just in time to see Perry spit an entire white rose flecked with blood into the palm of his hand. 

Now fully awake, she watches as he makes a face, gets up, throws the rose into the garbage can under the sink, and starts to wash his hands, unaware of Candace's staring. 

Well, that makes sense. 

Sort of. There are still a lot of things wrong with this. 

Now that she's awake, she might as well eat breakfast. She stands up and moves to the cupboard, getting a bowl out. Setting the bowl down with a purposeful clank (it's never a good idea to startle uncle Perry), Candace turns to get the milk out of the fridge."So when were you going to tell us you had Hanahaki?"

Perry turns around, surprise painted on his face. Candace continues. "Seriously. That was an entire flower. How long have you been hiding this?"

He sighs. Almost two years. Candace gasps. Two years and she never suspected a thing? That was his mysterious sickness? "Who is it?"

Just someone I work with. 

"And you never thought to tell us."

I told your parents.

Candace pours milk into the bowl. "I guess that's something. Are you going to confess?"

He looks to the backyard, where Phineas and Ferb are starting to build, and shakes his head. I'm getting it removed in three weeks. 

Candace gapes. Removed? After two years of pain and suffering and blood covered roses? "You're just going to give up?" she asks. 

Perry shrugs and turns off the tap. He's not interested in me, what else can I do? 

"He might be. You never know." Perry raises an eyebrow as he sits back down at the table. "I mean, if Jeremy and I can get together, you and your crush can too," Candace continues. 

Life isn't a romance novel. Sometimes it just doesn't work out.

"Have you even tried?"

Like I said, he's not interested.

"I hate to suggest this, but maybe the boys could help out?"

No.

"Why not? I bet they could make your crush have feelings for you."

If it's forced, it would make it even worse.

"It's worth a shot, right?"

No, it's not.

"Really?"

Coughing up flowers isn't fun or cute. He grimaces. It's actually pretty painful.

"You're really no fun."

See, this is why I didn't want to tell anybody. At Candace's affronted look, he continues. I'm an adult, I can deal with my own feelings. If that means getting rid of them, so be it. End of story.

"But-but-but I could help too!"

Perry narrows his eyes. End of story, Candace.

Candace pours her cereal into the milk. "Fine, whatever."

Look, I know you want to help, but I'd prefer to get through the next few weeks without dying.

Candace's eyes go wide. She'd completely forgotten that people could die from Hanahaki. Once they start coughing up full flowers, they've got only a few months left without intervention. "Oh," she says, her voice now small and meek. 

It's scary, I know. Trust me when I say the surgery is the best option. 

The kettle starts to whistle, so Perry takes it off the stove and pours the hot water into their mugs. Candace sits down at the table and starts to eat. "So there's really nothing else you can do?"

Nothing I can do at this point without making it worse. I suppose if he liked me back then it would be different, but I can't influence that.

A lightbulb goes off in Candace's head. Maybe uncle Perry can't ask this guy about it...but she can. She can convince this guy that Perry would be the best boyfriend ever!

"Tell me about this guy." She'll need some information if she wants to find him. 

Well, Perry says, handing Candace her mug, he's got brown hair, blue eyes, and he's about six foot two, although he slouches. 

Perry's watch goes off, and Candace groans internally. He always has to go to work at the worst times. "What's his name?"

For a brief moment, Perry looks conflicted. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, he signs. 

"Doofenshmirtz like the mayor?"

Perry nods, drinking most of his tea in one gulp. I have to leave. 

"Evil never rests, I know." Perry smiles. "Don't worry, I'll make sure nothing explodes while you're gone."

Perry smiles. See you later.

Candace nods and waves. As soon as Perry is in the garage, she puts her bowl of cereal in the sink and darts up the stairs. She grabs her purse out of her room and puts her phone and earbuds in it. She's about to go back down the stairs when she gets another idea. 

She has a whole lot of pictures of Jeremy- and she didn't even have Hanahaki. Uncle Perry has to have a picture of his crush somewhere. That will help narrow down the search.

Carefully, she pulls her Ducky Momo 33rd Anniversary Commemorative lock pick out of her purse and picks the lock on the door to his room. She feels a little weird, but this is a love or death situation. 

The lock opens with a click, and she opens the door. 

The room is about what she expected. Neat, for the most part. There's a stack of cheesy romance novels on the bedside table, a bookmark in one. On his desk, there's a tall stack of paperwork. Several papers are stamped with Classified in red ink, but Candace ignores them. She has other things to look for. 

She opens the top drawer of the desk. Pens, sticky notes, and paper clips. The next drawer down holds envelopes, a Classified stamp, and a red ink pad. 

The bottom drawer is locked. Once again, her Ducky Momo lock pick comes in handy. 

In the drawer is what looks like a grappling hook, a strange red disk, and a green box. 

Candace picks up the grappling hook and the disk and puts them on the desk. Gingerly opening the box, she finds it stuffed full of immaculately cleaned white roses, with a few  pictures along the sides. 

She looks at the pictures first. Each one has uncle Perry with the same guy. A slouching man with brown hair and blue eyes, dressed in a lab coat. 

This must be the guy. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. 

But where would she find him? The only connection she knows is that uncle Perry works with him. 

That's it. She'll just follow uncle Perry to work. Candace puts one of the pictures and a few of the fresher roses into her purse. On second thought, she adds the grappling hook and the red disk. 

She can hear Perry's motorcycle revving in the garage. She closes the drawer, then runs out of Perry's room and down the stairs.

Candace opens the garage door and wheels her bike out. Thank god for Phineas and Ferb outfitting it with rocket boosters, she'll need them to catch up with Perry's motorcycle. 

She only makes it to the end of the driveway before she hears a very loud, scary sounding bang come from the backyard. Despite her new mission, her boys-busting senses tell her to investigate.

Nearly trampling Baljeet, she dashes to the gate and throws it open. "What was that?" she demands. 

Phineas grins. "It's our new rivet gun! Isn't it cool?"

"Pfft. It's a rivet gun. How cool can it be?"

Ferb merely rivets another piece of metal, producing a similar bang. "Very cool, Candace, very cool," Phineas says. 

"Whatever." Candace rolls her eyes and jogs back around the front of the house to her bike. She pedals down to the first stop sign before she realizes that uncle Perry is long gone by now. She'll never be able to catch up to him. 

Maybe there's another way she can find his crush. How many Doofenshmirtzes are there in Danville? This Heinz might be related to Mayor Doofenshmirtz somehow. 

Downtown Danville, here she comes. 

~~~

Candace makes it to City Hall in twenty minutes. She locks her bike to the rack outside and walks in. 

"How may I help you?" the bored-looking receptionist asks. 

"I'd like to talk to Mayor Doofenshmirtz?" Candace asks. 

"Name?"

"Candace Flynn."

"He'll be free in a few minutes. You can wait here." The receptionist points to a small waiting area. 

"Thank you," Candace says, and she sits down. 

What a day. And it's not even close to being over. 

Her phone rings. It's Jeremy. She picks it up right away. 

"Hey Jeremy," she says. 

"Hey Candace," he says. "I was wondering if you wanted to hang out later today?"

Candace thinks. Yeah, hanging out with Jeremy would be great, but she has a mission. "Sorry, but I'm doing something for uncle Perry today. I might be able to do something tomorrow, though."

Jeremy laughs. "You're such a good niece. See you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow."

"Love you."

"Love you." Candace ends the call with a click. 

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz walks in the door. "Hey Candace."

"Hi Vanessa," Candace says. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I wanted to talk to uncle Roger. He's probably busy, though. What about you?"

"I was waiting to do the same thing. Waiting to talk to the Mayor, at least. He's not my uncle."

"Really." Candace nods. "I don't know if he'll talk to you, he's always crazy busy."

Candace sighs. Maybe this lead won't work out after all. 

Except...Vanessa Doofenshmirtz. Related to Roger. Is she related to Heinz?

"So why are you here?" Vanessa asks.

Candace pulls one of the pictures out of her purse, as well as one of the roses. "My uncle Perry," she points at Perry, "has Hanahaki for this guy," she points at the other man, "Heinz Doofenshmirtz. I wanted to ask the mayor, since they have the same last name. Do you know him?"

"Know him?" Vanessa laughs. "He's my dad."

Candace's eyes grow wide. "Your dad? That's perfect! Do you know if your dad likes my uncle? Like, like-likes him?"

Vanessa looks at the flower in Candace's hand. "I'm pretty sure he does, but you'd have to ask him directly."

Another lead. Perfect. "Where is your dad?"

Vanessa shrugs. "Probably at Blueprint Heaven. He's kind of an inventor."

"Thanks so much."

"I should warn you though, he's kind of cold. He'll probably just shrug you off."

Candace shrugs. "I'm not worried."

"Okay, then good luck."

Candace jumps out of her seat. "Thanks, Vanessa. See you later." She stuffs the photo and the rose back in her purse, then walks out the door. She unlocks her bike from the rack and hops on it. Thankfully, Blueprint Heaven isn't too far. 

Her legs are burning by the time she makes it to the blueprint store. She peeks inside, watching as a slouching man with brown hair, wearing a lab coat, purchases a few blueprints. That must be him. 

As the man leaves the shop, she puts out her arm.

"Hey, watch it, kid," the man says.

"I have something to ask you," Candace says. "Are you Heinz Doofenshmirtz?"

"That's Doctor Doofenshmirtz to you. And if you're selling those Fireside Girl cupcakes, I already bought two dozen."

Candace rolls her eyes and pulls the photo out of her purse. "I want to ask you about this picture."

The man pulls out a pair of reading glasses and studies the picture. "What do you want to ask me?"

Candace points at Perry. "Do you like-like this guy?" 

"That's a rather strange question to ask, isn't it?"

"Danville's a strange place."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz shrugs. "You got me there. Y'know, he looks like this other guy I know." He points at the picture. "What's his name?"

"Perry," Candace says. 

"Really? I, uh, work with a guy named Perry. Sort of. We're like, work rivals. He's really nice though, even if he doesn't talk much." 

Candace's Busting Senses start to tingle. "I wonder if they're the same guy?"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz hums. "Maybe. It'd be just like him to be all mysterious and suave and all that." He pauses to cough into the arm of his lab coat. When he pulls his arm away, the sleeve is red and covered in petals. "Oh, come on, I just washed this one."

"You have Hanahaki?" Candace asks. "Can I see the flowers?" 

He looks at Candace funny. "I guess? They're roses, white ones." He wipes one of the petals off on his lab coat and shows it to her. "You know, I googled the meaning, and they mean young love and innocence and all that stuff. I mean, it's like the last thing I'd relate with him."

"So your soulmate is your work rival," Candace clarifies.

"Awkward, right? Man, the universe really has it out to get me."

Candace merely nods along. This...inventor has the same flower as uncle Perry. Another strange coincidence. Or is it? Is there another Heinz Doofenshmirtz in the Tri-State area?

"Listen, it was great talking with you, but I kinda have to go to work now, so..."

Candace nods. "Nice meeting you."

"Likewise," Dr. Doofenshmirtz says, and he walks off down the road. 

Hmm. Perry has Hanahaki for a guy named Heinz Doofenshmirtz that he works with. This Heinz (sorry, doctor) Doofenshmirtz has Hanahaki for a guy named Perry that he's work rivals with. Vanessa told her that her dad Heinz likes Perry, and Perry's got a picture of him with his crush Heinz.

They've got to be the same guys. 

And they must be pining over each other. 

What idiots. Uncle Perry said this was nothing like a romance novel, but it practically is.

Candace watches as Dr. Doofenshmirtz walks into the apartment building shaped like Ferb's head. The one that says Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated on its front...wait, what?

The final pieces click together. Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. Perry always says "Evil never rests" when he runs off to work. This guy mentioned that he and Perry are work rivals. Could Perry be fighting this guy for work?

No wonder Perry didn't want to get with his crush. If they're on opposite sides of the great Good and Evil debate, dynamics change.

This just got a whole lot more interesting. 

Candace is still getting them together. Secret relationships can work. 

She sizes up the apartment building. A person on a jetpack flies up to the balcony, landing and disappearing from view. That must be Perry. She runs down the street and tugs on the door of the building.

Damn it, it's one of those buildings where the residents have to buzz people in. She doesn't have time to wait around for someone to let her in. There's got to be another way.

She looks into her purse. The red disk says "Standard Issue Glider" on the bottom, with a button. Good to know, but that won't work right now. 

No, the thing she needs right now is the grappling hook. She's afraid of heights, but this will have to work. She's Candace Flynn, she can do whatever she puts her mind to. If that means grappling up the side of a forty-story building, so be it. It's worth it for love. She steps back, pulls the hook out of her purse, and aims it at the balcony. 

Thankfully, she's still wearing her bike helmet. She fires the grappling hook towards the balcony. Once it sticks, she presses the button on the side and holds on for dear life. The building flashes by in a rush of purple, then she's landing on the balcony with a thud.

It seems that nobody inside noticed her stunt. Dr. Doofenshmirtz has his back to the balcony, and uncle Perry (in a 1940's fedora) is stuck in a net. 

Yep, Good and Evil are clashing in this apartment-slash-lab.

She ducks behind a strange-looking planter. Thankfully, nobody's seen her. She needs a plan. 

Maybe she could just go up to them and tell them about each other? No, that wouldn't work. 

Throw them a paper airplane? She doesn't really have any paper, except for the photo. 

Hmm. What about the roses? Both of them have the same flower, that might spur the connection along.

She peeks around the corner. Uncle Perry and Dr. Doofenshmirtz are fighting now, sparring as if they've done it a thousand times before. Candace bites down on the inside of her cheek to keep herself from cheering. 

Uncle Perry lands one more kick, then throws his hat across the room. It hits a big red button on the side of a machine, and the machine promptly explodes. Candace ducks to protect herself from the flying bits of metal. 

However, instead of leaving, uncle Perry goes to help Dr. Doofenshmirtz up. They move to another part of the lab, where a small kitchen is. Dr. Doofenshmirtz pours them both glasses of water, handing one to uncle Perry.

Now's the time.

Candace carefully sneaks out of her hiding place. She pulls one of the roses out of her purse, aims, and throws. As soon as the flower leaves her hand, she ducks back behind the wall. After a second, she peeks back around the corner. 

Both uncle Perry and Dr. Doofenshmirtz have tried to cover up the rose, thinking it's their own. They both look away from each other. Even from across the way, Candace can tell how flustered Perry's gotten.

She watches as uncle Perry says something, signing much faster than usual. She thinks she catches the signs for "Hanahaki", "love" and "rose", although it's hard to tell from this far away.

He finishes what he has to say and drops his hands into his lap. For twelve seconds (vintage Ducky Momo Awkward Silence Timer), nothing happens. 

Then Dr. Doofenshmirtz grabs uncle Perry's tie, pulls him in, and kisses him. 

It's all Candace can do to hold back a squeal. 

When they part, neither make eye contact for six and a half seconds. Then Perry signs something, making Dr. Doofenshmirtz laugh. Perry leans up and places a short kiss on Dr. Doofenshmirtz's lips. Both men grin broadly.

Yeah, uncle Perry's going to be alright. 

Candace pulls another one of the roses out of her purse and throws it at the couple, not bothering to hide this time. This one bounces off the back of Perry's head, causing him to look over at the balcony.  

"Enjoy your romance novel ending," she shouts, a broad smile nearly splitting her face in two. Perry gets up from the counter and starts over towards her, a look of shock painted over his face. Candace merely pulls the red disk out of her purse, presses the button on the bottom, and watches as it expands into a red hang glider. 

She winks and salutes, then kicks off the ledge to glide off the balcony. 

As she glides over Danville, she grins. And uncle Perry said it wouldn't work out. Well, she just proved him wrong. 

Something on the glider starts to beep. A tinny voice emanating from a hidden speaker starts to talk. "Warning. Unauthorized use of OWCA tech. Returning to base."

Well, it was fun while it lasted. Candace attempts to let go of the glider as it nears the ground, but cuffs clamp down around her wrists. A rocket engine pops out of the back and steers her in an unknown direction.

Fifteen minutes later, she finds herself in an underground bunker, being stared down by a man with an intimidating mustache and a scrawny intern with a camera. Uncle Perry stands in the background, his hands in his pockets and the beat-up fedora from earlier on his head.

The man with the mustache starts to speak. "Do you know what you've done?'

"I just saved uncle Perry's love life?" she guesses. Behind the intern, Perry shakes his head. Candace can see the amused smile on his face. 

The mustached man sighs. "Not quite. Your uncle Perry is actually a top OWCA agent, and as such, his identity must be kept completely secret." Candace considers this. A secret agent, huh? That certainly explains the grappling hook and the hang glider. 

Man, being a secret agent would be so cool. 

"Candace Flynn," as you have compromised Agent P's position, your memory is going to be wiped."

"What, there's nothing else you can do?"

The intern speaks up. "We could relocate him to another continent, and you'd never see him again." Candace's eyes go wide, and she shakes her head. "Yeah, we figured you'd like the memory wipe option better."

"Anything else you'd like to say, Ms. Flynn?" the mustached man asks. 

Candace thinks for a second. "I don't know, I think uncle Perry owes me something."

For a brief second, Perry looks confused. Then he smiles knowingly. Thank you, Candace. 

"You're welcome. Now, hit me."

The green ray hits her square in the face, and her mind goes fuzzy.

~~~

Candace steps off the bus. Finally, the last day of school. Phineas and Ferb are throwing a party, and for some odd reason, she doesn't even want to bust them for it. 

(That reason has nothing to do with the fact that Jeremy will be there. Nope, nothing at all.)

She runs up the stairs to her backpack down in her room, then runs back out into the backyard. 

Phineas and Ferb have already set up rides, food, and of course, live music. Perks of middle school- they get out earlier.

Already, most of the neighborhood has shown up. It's starting to look like it's going to end up being a big block party. 

Under the tree in the backyard, uncle Perry and some guy in a lab coat are talking. This must be his boyfriend. When Perry sees Candace, he waves her over. 

Candace, I'd like you to meet someone very special to me.

#sam's fic #perry the platypus #perry the human #human perry #human perry the platypus #heinz doofenshmirtz #doctor doofenshmirtz #candace #candace flynn #pnf #phineas and ferb #perryshmirtz #fic #my fic #tw blood #blood #(there's not much)

[otomehonyaku]

DIABOLIK LOVERS CHAOS LINEAGE | KINO 3 (ENGLISH)

♥ OTHER CHAPTERS OF THIS ROUTE & OTHER TRANSLATIONS (CLICK HERE) ♥

@kyouxa​ and I decided to join forces to translate Kino’s CL route together! ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆ She’ll be translating the endings (which I’ll be linking to in my masterpost), and I’ll be translating the main route. This chapter is super interesting but holy shit it’s so long... Enjoy!

In terms of the gameplay: The black choices lead up to a bad ending, the white choices lead up to a good ending.

DO NOT REPOST MY TRANSLATIONS ON TUMBLR OR OTHER PLATFORMS, TRANSLATE MY TRANSLATIONS TO ANOTHER LANGUAGE, OR USE MY TRANSLATIONS IN ANY FORM ELSEWHERE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING DOING ANY OF THESE THINGS, PLEASE ASK FOR MY PERMISSION FIRST.

MONOLOGUE

Within my faint consciousness, I opened my eyes.

Kino was right next to me, and slept soundly while holding me close to him as if I was a hugging pillow.

-LOCATION: KINO’S ROOM-

Yui: Huh? Why is Kino...? (Is this Kino’s room? Right... After he fed on me, I fainted just like that.

Kino: ...

Yui: Kino’s sleeping face... He looks like a child. He’s so cute. (It’s unlikely that Kino is really my ally if he so forcibly fed on me. After all, he’s one of the Sakamaki brothers...) (Come to think of it, Kino is one of Karl Heinz’ sons... An illegitimate child, at that.) (I didn’t think I’d meet someone like him in a place like this.)

Kino: [groans, rolls over]

Yui: Ah... I’m sorry. Did I wake you up?

Kino: ...

Yui: Ah... I see. You only moved a bit... (Kino is also a victim of the one who took us to this place, just like me and everyone else.) (For now, I should just leave him to sleep.)

-LOCATION: SCARLET MANSION LIVING/DINING ROOM-

Yuma: Oi, Shuu! Cut it out and wake the fuck up. We were ordered to do some spyin’, remember?

Shuu: Go ahead and do it by yourself... 

Yuma: I can’t do it on my own, so you gotta come!

Yui: W-what’s going on? Talking so loudly...

Yuma: Just look and you’ll know. That asshole Shuu is bailing out of our patrolling again. 

Yui: Ah... I see. (Come to think of it, Reiji told them to go and investigate the other houses... right?) (However, Shuu isn’t the type to like doing those kinds of things.)

Reiji: Have you still not left? Oh well, that’s largely as expected, though.

Yui: Ah, Reiji. (Reiji is frowning deeply... Is he going to scold Shuu?)

Reiji: Shuu, it seems like I have to urge you to do it once more, and more severely.

Shuu: So annoying... If you’re going to lecture me, I’m out.

Yui: (Uh... There’s so much tension in the air. What should I do? Maybe it’s better to try and separate them?)

Kino: Hey, brother Reiji. I’ll go patrol in Shuu’s stead.

Yui: Huh?

Reiji: What are you saying? You were assigned with the role of guarding Eve.

Kino: So then Eve can just come with us, right? I can guard her and spy at the same time, you know.

Yuma: Yeah, good thinkin’!

Reiji: There is no possible way that is a good idea! I will not allow those kinds of things.

Kino: It’s okay, it’s okay! Well then, we’ll be off! Let’s go, Eve.

Yui: Ah... Wait... Kino!

Reiji: Stop right there, Kino!

Yuma: Welp, there they go.

Reiji: Good grief, they’re acting so carelessly...

Shuu: You should just take it upon yourself to carry out bothersome tasks like patrolling.

Reiji: This is all your fault...! Yuma, hurry up and bring them back!

Yuma: Wow, I’m the one who has to clean up y’all’s mess in the end. Ugh, well, see ya later...

-LOCATION: FOREST-

Yui: Kino! Reiji seemed to be upset, so don’t you think we’ll get in trouble if we don’t go back soon?

Kino: You don’t have to worry so much about Reiji. 

Yui: But...!

Yuma: Oi, where are y’all? Kino!

Yui: (...! Yuma’s voice.)

Kino: Ah, I figured he’d come. Come here. We'll hide and move along quietly so Yuma doesn't find us.

— SELECTION —

   1. 偵察は任せようという　Tell Kino that you should leave the patrolling to the others (black)

Yui: Hey, Kino. Maybe we should leave the patrolling to Yuma and Shuu after all...?

Kino: That choice of words... It almost feels like you think Shuu is more competent than me. 

Yui: That’s not what I mean, I just think that doing as Reiji says is...

Kino: You’re annoying. You’d do better to just shut up and follow my lead.

Yui: [flinches]

Kino: Hehe... You’re trembling in fear just from the feeling of my fangs on your neck. I wonder if it’s the result of our little disciplinary session yesterday? If you think you're going to resist me, I'll have to teach your body once more... Being found by Yuma while I’m feeding on you sounds kinda fun, too.

Yui: ...Stop...

Kino: If you don’t like it, shut up and come with me.

Yui: (It’s no use... I can’t go against Kino.)

   2. 引き返すように説得する　Persuade Kino to go back (white)

Yui: Hey, Kino, let’s just go back.

Kino: Heh, didn’t you hear me properly?

Yui: That’s not it, but... If we don’t go back, you’ll get into trouble with Reiji.

Kino: I told you before that there’s no need for us to do as Reiji says, didn’t I?

Yui: [flinches]

Kino: Hehe... Getting such a reaction from you just by tracing your neck. Did you remember when I fed on you yesterday? I’ll do you the favour of sucking your blood right here. Yuma might come and find us while we’re at it.

Yui: ...! S-stop...

Kino: Exactly. So shut the hell up and come with me.

Yui: As I thought, I’m no match for Kino...

— END OF SELECTION DIALOGUE —

Kino: It’s not like I just fled the mansion without a plan. Don’t you want to know how the other houses are doing, too?

Yui: The other houses...? Ah, right! We can check how everyone’s doing under the pretence of patrolling.

Kino: Exactly. I want to gather some information in advance in order to get out of this situation.

Yui: (My, my, Kino is acting on his thoughts in his own way... Though it is a little forced.)

Yuma: Ugh... Where the hell did this asshole Kino go? I don’t wanna hear Reiji’s complaints if anything happens to Eve.

Kino: Let’s forget about Yuma and go.

Yui: Okay... I got it. (I’m sorry, Yuma.)

-LOCATION: IN FRONT OF THE MANSION-

Kino: Look, here we are. You can take a peek if you stay hidden between the trees.

Yui: (Wow...! This is also a huge mansion.) So that’s the Violet Mansion?

Kino: Yeah. Someone might come if we stay near the front of the mansion, so we’ll go around the back.

Yui: (I guess I have no choice, we can’t go back now that we’ve come this far...) (Of course, we’ve been separated into three houses, and the Violet House is led by Carla.) (Laito, Subaru, Kou, Azusa, and of course, Carla.) (I’d rather keep peeking from afar than actually going on patrol, but I guess this is our chance to check on everyone.)

Kino: Ah... There’s a window.

Yui: It looks like we can check on them from here. We can see the living room perfectly.

Kino: Heh, I see... Interesting.

Yui: Huh...? Ugh... (I’m being pushed against the wall... Why!?)

Kino: Are you really that powerless? You want to resist, but it really has no effect, you know?

Yui: Kino, why are you...

Kino: You see... Hehe. Hey, what do you think would happen if I bit you right here?

Yui: Wha... What are you saying...?

Kino: It seems like nobody’s here right now, but if someone comes and you make a sound, the enemy might find us.

Yui: ...! Please, stop this...

Kino: There’s no way I’ll stop when I’m having so much fun. My bite marks from yesterday are still there. It would be boring if I bit you in the same spots, so... Should I try finding a different spot this time?

Yui: ...N-no...! (I can feel Kino’s breath in my ear...)

Kino: Don’t you seem to be expecting something rather than being unwilling? We were also outside that time when your memories returned, right? Does it turn you on when I feed on you outside? It’s boring to just hide away in the house, and life would be even more boring without a bit of a thrill, you know.

Yui: Are you... saying that you weren’t intending to go on patrol from the beginning...? Even though you said you wanted to gather information on the other houses...?

Kino: Hm? That’s half true. I do want more information. So— Better stay quiet even if someone comes, yeah?

Yui: T-that’s... Huh...

Kino: It seems like someone’s come into the living room.

Kou: Ah, I’m so tired! I’ve been pushed around by Carla again all day... I’m spent.

Azusa: Good job today...

Yui: (That’s Azusa and Kou!)

Kino: Hehe... If you make any sound now, those two will notice you, you know?)

Yui: (I can’t...! I really can’t...!)

Kino: ...What’s with that face? Are you really expecting something? I’ll give you what you want and bite you, alright?

[T/N BOI THAT’S A GOSH DARN GOOD CG RIGHT THERE]

Kino: I think I’ll start with this orthodox spot—[bites down]

Yui: (Nn... Ah... Oh no, my voice...)

Kino: Hehe, look who’s being a good girl, trying to control yourself. Your body is trembling, though, you know? You won’t last like this.

Yui: (Kino, stop! We’ll get caught like this...!)

Kino: That desperate look in your eyes... It’s irresistible. When your facial expression pulls me in like that... I’ll only want to do more terrible things to you.

Yui: (...!)

Kino: I think I might bite you in a more sensitive spot. Your ears, for example...

Yui: [whimpers]

Kino: If you don’t endure it, we’ll get caught, you know? Who knows what will happen to you if they catch you.  Ah... Or are you the type that gets turned on by imagining those kinds of things?

Yui: (N-no...)

Kino: The scent of your blood has become so much sweeter... [bites down]

Yui: (...I have to hold back my voice... I can’t afford to be caught like this...)

Kino: Hehe, good girl. You must’ve started to feel so good that you can’t stand this, right? The same spot that I bit just now—What would happen if I bit deeper? [bites down]

Yui: [moans] (Oh no... I can’t hold back.)

Azusa: Eve... Didn’t come to us...

Kou: It’s okay, it’s okay! According to Carla’s strategy, we’ll swoop her away in no time.

Azusa: But, I... I don’t want to fight.

Yui: (I can hear the two of them talking... Are they right beside the window?)

Kou: You’re saying that, but we’re already steadily making preparations, though? If all goes according to plan, we should be able to launch a surprise attack on the Scarlet House in two days.

Yui: (A surprise attack on the Scarlet House? That way, everyone will start fighting...)

Kino: Hey. I won’t allow you to get lost in thought when I’m sucking your blood.

***

EXTRA AUDIO: TOUCH THE SPOTS ON THE SCREEN

(Kino’s mouth) Your blood really is the best... It almost makes me want to stay this way forever.

(Yui’s hand against the wall) It seems like they’re just outside the window. This is a rare opportunity for you to let them hear that wonderful voice of yours...

***

Kino: As punishment for your averted attention... I’ll bite you with all my strength.  [bites down harshly]

Yui: N...No!

(...! I let out a scream!)

Azusa: That voice... just now...

Kou: There’s someone outside the window!

Yui: (...! They noticed us!)

Azusa: Eve...?

Kou: What!? Why is Eve here!? I’m not exactly sure, but this is our precious chance! Let’s go, Azusa!

Azusa: Y-yeah...

Yui: (They jumped out the window...!)

Kino: Ah, they noticed us because your voice slipped.

Kou: Hey, did you come here especially to bring Eve to us?

Kino: Yeah. I’m not particularly interested in Eve or the Throne, so you can have her.

Kou: Huh? Are you serious?

Yui: That’s... Kino!

Azusa: Eve... Come here.

Yui: (...! I have to run...!) Ouch...

Kou: Aww. What are you doing, falling on your butt like that?

Yui: (This isn’t good... I don’t have any strength left in my body... It’s because Kino fed on me just now.)

Kou: I don’t really know what’s going on, but thanks for the hard work? Don’t push yourself, be a good girl and come here.

Azusa: If Eve comes to us... Everyone will be pleased. Carla, too.

Yui: I-I’m sorry... Please, let me off... (Those two aren’t the same as they usually are.) (I don’t know what they’ll do to me if their memories are distorted...) (Kino...!)

Kino: Hehe... You’re so frightened, it’s the best.

Yui: (...Does he really have no intention of helping me...?)

Kou: C’mon, just accept it and become ours!

Yui: ...! Let go...

Kino: ...!

Yui: (What will happen if I’m taken away from him...?) (Please, someone help me...!)

Kino: ...Ah. That’s enough. ...Hey... You would’ve been better off checking the roof first.

Kou: Huh?

Yui: [screams]

Azusa: What... was that just now...?

Yui: (A piece of the roof just... fell down?)

Kino: That’s what my powers can do. I’ll say it in advance, but I lured you outside as a trap. I could drop it on the two of you too, so... What will you do?

Kou: ...

Kino: Hehe... You can’t even get close to me. How uncool. I’ve fully understood that the two of you are just nobodies. 

Azusa: ...Why did you show us your powers on purpose?

Kino: Hm? Just killing some time. I’ve been wanting to see the surprise on your faces when I’m using them, to be honest.

Azusa: What the... hell are you?

Kou: Azusa, let’s stop this. We’d better call Carla.

Azusa: Y-yeah. That’s true...

Kino: That’s fine, I’ll let you off, so go on and call someone. Welp, we’ll be getting out of here now, though. Well then, Eve. Shall we go back to the mansion? We’ve kept the boredom at bay, after all.

Yui: (Ah... Kino is lifting me up...?)

Kino: What’s that face for?

Yui: I didn’t think you’d save me...

Kino: There’s no way I’ll let you go for real. I was just playing around a bit.

Yui: ...Playing around...? (He saw that I was frightened and he thought it was fun? ....No, it’s not just that.) (He enjoyed flaunting his powers in front of Kou and Azusa...)

Kino: I was planning on patrolling in secret, but I ended up making it a bit flashy. I wonder if it comes as a surprise.

Yui: (That magic... He has such unbelievable powers, and yet he’s only using it for laughs...) (What on Earth is Kino thinking...?)

-LOCATION: SCARLET MANSION LIVING/DINING ROOM-

Reiji: Quite honestly, I am relieved that you’ve come back unharmed. However, what on Earth were you thinking, ignoring my orders and taking Eve outside?

Kino: I’m sorry, brother Reiji.

Yui: I’m sorry... (I thought we’d safely arrived back at the mansion, but Reiji is furious...) (Still, I wonder why he’s also angry at me. Even though I’ve been feeling lightheaded ever since Kino fed on me.)

Reiji: What happened to Yuma? Didn’t you meet up?

Kino: I wonder? I have no idea.

Reiji: It seems that he’s gone astray. Good grief, what could Yuma be doing...

Kino: Well, we’re very sorry, so can we go back to our rooms now?

Reiji: Are you still half asleep? I have to punish the two of you appropriately.

Yui: M-me too...!?

Kino: Heh... I don’t really fancy those kinds of things, unlike Eve.

Yui: It’s not like I’d gladly undergo punishment...

Reiji: If you have something to say, say it clearly!

Yui: I-I’m sorry!

Kino: Well, just listen to us before you get angry. We managed to get our hands on some valuable information.  Carla and the others are planning a surprise attack. In two days. The target is this mansion.

Reiji: ...Can we rely on that information?

Yui: Yeah... I heard it too. Kou—Two members of the Violet House mentioned it.

Reiji: ...I see. There is no reason for Eve to lie, is there?

Kino: We provided you with some good information, so please let us off this time. That would be alright, wouldn’t it?

Reiji: This is not something that I can just let slide. However, in consideration of your work, I won’t blame you.

Yui: (T-thank God...)

Reiji: However, there won’t be a second time. Please keep your careless behaviour to yourself.

Kino: Yeah, got it, brother Reiji.

Yui: (We got off without being punished by Reiji... but...) (If he finds out that Kino made a roof fall down with magic then we’d really be in trouble, right...?)

Yuma: What!? Why did you come back before me?

Yui: Ah... Yuma.

Yuma: Why, you’re late.

Kino: Late? You asshole...!

Reiji: Yuma, where were you and what were you doing? I thought I’d told you to bring back Kino.

Yuma: Ah... I’m sorry... I searched here and there, and I lost sight of them. However, I scouted Ruki’s mansion instead!

Reiji: How far did you even go...? Carla’s mansion is completely the other way. Why can my brothers just not listen to me... Ha...

Yui: (I-It probably really is best if we keep the flying roof story to ourselves for Reiji’s sake.)

-LOCATION: KINO’S ROOM-

Kino: Jeez. The only gift Reiji was blessed with is moving his mouth. So noisy.

Yui: So, I’m staying in your room again today...

Kino: Obviously, because I’m your guard. I have Reiji’s permission, so don’t worry.  Ah, today lifted some weight off my shoulders. I was bored, so this was a nice distraction.

Yui: ...Hey, did you take me outside and assault Kou and Azusa all as part of your distraction?

Kino: That’s what I’m saying. What? Being fed on, being abandoned and stuff... Do you have a grudge against me now?

Yui: That’s not it, but... (Frankly, I thought we’d be confronting this situation together, but...) (It seems like Kino is enjoying this as if it’s a game.) (I wonder if he’d abandoned me when I was being swept away by Kou and Azusa, just because it would’ve been fun...)

Kino: Well, that whole bringing down the roof thing was a bit of a failure. I didn’t intend to go that far, though. That man... Kou, right? He touched you so carelessly, so of course that pissed me off.

Yui: Huh...?

Kino: It is what it is, right? Under these circumstances, you’re my one and only companion. A special being. If you think I’d really let you be taken away, then you’re sorely mistaken.

Yui: (...Kino is angry. Even though he let go of me himself.) (Such a selfish way of saying it, but... When they threatened to take me away, Kino saved me because that’s what he truly wanted to do.) (Everything he’s doing to me is so contradictory, and there are so many things I’d like to say, but—) Kino.

Kino: Hm? What?

Yui: Thank you for saving me earlier.

Kino: ...What? Do you understand what you’re saying? You got in trouble with those Violet guys because I started it.

Yui: (He’s at least got some degree of self-awareness, saying that it’s his fault for playing around...) But still, the reality is that you saved me, so let me at least thank you for that.

Kino: Hmm. I did something horrible to you, and yet you thank me. That servile character of yours is unwavering.

Yui: Ah... That’s not what I meant...

Kino: Well, I’d be in trouble too if you weren’t here. From now on, if anyone tries to take you away, I’ll save you. ...For the sake of my plan, too.

Yui: Plan...?

Kino: Nah, it’s nothing. Well then, let’s go to sleep.

Yui: Ah, yeah... (First he’s malicious, then he kindly saves me... I don’t know what to make of this.) (I really don’t know Kino, after all...)

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #diahell #diabolik lovers chaos lineage #chaos lineage #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers translations #kino #kino sakamaki #sakamaki kino #Japanese Translation #japanese translations #otome #visual novel #otome translation #otomehonyaku #dlclkino #visual novel translation #my translations

[mythicamagic]

Diabolik Murder Mystery: Twoshot

Writing Commission for @s-e-kwan

AU: In Edwardian London, Detective Mukami Ruki pays a visit to Sakamaki manor after hearing the news of his late Benefactor’s murder. It soon becomes clear the culprit is one of the sons, or is it possibly Karl Heinz’s ward; miss Yui Komori?

Mystery/some romance

Rated T

10,100 words

Chapter Two - here

Diabolik Murder Mystery~

The grimy streets were quiet in the late evening, with street lamps illuminating dingy alleyways and cobblestone pavements in a gaudy orange.

A pale hand drew back a velvet curtain, looking out from within the carriage. Ruki Mukami’s lips lifted in a silent sneer, the curtain falling back into place.

He hated downtown. More for the reminder of what it had done to him in his youth.

But for his purposes, he needed to visit it and ignore the filth, poor and ghosts of proud little aristocrats weeping on street corners. He stepped out of the carriage once it reached a downtrodden pub, walking inside.

Yuma paused, a barrel hauled casually over his shoulder. “Hey, Ruki!” He greeted.

The other patrons paused in their drinks, looking at the man that stuck out like a sore thumb.

Tailored black clothes and tall top hats weren’t things usually seen around downtown. Ruki ignored them, padding to a table where two young men awaited him.

Yuma finished up setting the drinks barrel down, wiping the surface of the bar before joining them.

Kou smiled. “It’s been a little while since we were all together~”

“Mn…I’ve missed…you,” the youngest, Azusa murmured.

Ruki set his hat down, adjusting his collar and cuffs until they were loose, shedding his gentlemanly persona. There was no need for it now. “Yes. I apologise for being busy and that the reason for our meeting had to be so…grim.”

Yuma leaned his cheek on his palm. “Tch, we couldn’t exactly ignore it.”

Nodding, Ruki pulled out a newspaper from his jacket, setting it on the table.

‘MURDER AT SAKAMAKI MANOR.’ The headline read.

Azusa looked at the article, frowning softly at the name of the victim. “Karl…Heinz.”

“Indeed. Murdered in his sleep. Each of his children were in the house with him, and we’re all aware of his monetary status.”

Letting out an aggravated sigh, Yuma shook his head. “Here ya go again, playing detective.”

“It’s almost like it’s my job,” Ruki muttered dryly.

“Soo you’re going to investigate it without anyone hiring you?”

The eldest Mukami glanced at Kou, who observed him quietly. “I don’t have much of a choice. He adopted us, fed us and clothed us without anyone hiring him. It’s not clear if the motive was revenge, an act of wrath, or desire to obtain his full wealth, and I won’t know until I interview the family. I also need to find out the status of the Will.”

“We will…help you…Ruki,” Azusa nodded.

“Heh, don’t steal my line. Course’ we’ll help,” Yuma agreed, with Kou inspecting his pristine nails.

“If it doesn’t interfere with my singing.”

“Shaddap! He paid for your concert slots. Ya owe your fame to him!”

Ruki put a hand up, silencing the glaring brothers. “Thank you. I think it’s best we communicate by letter while this is going on. I’ll send you instructions.”

“Why?”

“The six Sakamaki children are wealthy. It wouldn’t surprise me if they assigned someone to follow me when I begin my investigation. They’ll want to know what I know. I can’t use you to spy on them if they know our connection.”

“Makes sense, you got any suspects yet?” Kou hummed.

Ruki threaded his fingers. Pale lips curve, blue-grey eyes darkening. “Not yet. Though I am thoroughly interested in meeting his ward.”

“Ah, I remember he got one. What’s her name again?”

“Miss Yui Komori.”

OOO

A young lady with blonde hair wandered out onto the balcony, airing out the laundry. The past few days had left her with a ghostly pallor, her eyes downcast. The black dress she wore signified her state of mourning.

Hurrying downstairs to go and help the servants in the kitchen with dinner, she almost bumped head first into someone. “O-oh, forgive me,” she curtseyed.

Subaru stilled, muscles tensing. With a tsk, he averted his eyes and stormed off. Yui straightened, her hand dipping into her pocket to squeeze the iron rosary within.

“You don’t have time to be dawdling, Komori.”

Raising her head, she met narrowed eyes. Reiji padded down the hallway. “Our guest will be arriving soon.”

“I don’t see why we should let a damn Detective into this house, much less feed him.” Ayato piped up on his way to go steal food from the kitchen.

“It’s true the police have already interviewed us. But if they’ve hired one, then we’ve no choice but to open our doors to him. I certainly don’t want to arouse suspicion…unless you’re worried he’ll find something you’re hiding,” Reiji uttered, lifting a brow.

“Tch, shut it Four Eyes. I’m not gonna hide the fact that I think whoever killed the Old man is a damn legend.” Ayato sneered, padding away.

Reiji folded his arms loosely. “Not the best strategy with dealing with an investigator,” he sighed. Glancing at Yui, who still lingered, her expression thoughtful, he frowned. “Unless you want a whipping, off with you, Komori.”

She jumped, squeaking and nodding as she hurried away.

OOO

The Mansion was as lavish as Ruki had expected, with finely trimmed hedges and vast, sprawling grounds. He and his brothers had never visited. They’d been kept a secret from Karl Heinz’s family, though why, Ruki had never known. It hadn’t been his place to ask.

Knocking on the door, Ruki was received by a servant, who took his hat and coat. Stepping inside, Ruki lifted his head to look at the stained glass skylight in the foyer. Another servant asked that he follow her to the drawing room, where seven people awaited him.

His children, Ruki thought, glancing at the only girl. And ward.

“Thank you for arriving on time,” Reiji walked forward, posture straight. He offered his hand, and Ruki shook it.

“I’m the one who owes thanks for being received. Having you all here at once makes my job easier.”

Ayato scoffed.

Turning, Reiji motioned to his siblings. “I’ll start by introducing us. That one sleeping on the couch so disgracefully is Shuu, the eldest. I am Reiji, second eldest. Next is Ayato, Kanato, Laito and Subaru,” he gestured to each one in turn.

Ruki nodded in greeting, before turning to the young woman.

“This is Yui Komori. My Father took her on as his ward,” Reiji muttered.

She curtseyed, bowing her head politely. Taking her petite hand, Ruki dipped low, raising it to his lips. From his peripheral vision, he noticed the youngest Sakamaki bristle.

Interesting, Ruki thought, straightening and looking into Yui’s eyes. “It’s a pleasure.”

He was soon shown to a seat, which he sank into, observing each of his technical half-brothers. “Now then, you know what business has brought me here,” he said softly. “Three days ago, your Father was murdered at around 1.00am, dying from multiple stab wounds.”

Pausing to gauge their reactions, it seemed only Yui was shaken by the gory details. The boys looked on plainly, almost seeming bored.

“…The report I gained from the autopsy showed that his left arm had suffered some burns. But from what was found, it stands to reason that he was burned after being killed.”

Luckily Azusa working in the morgue proved extremely useful.

Laito hummed, tapping his bottom lip. “That’s odd. A burn? Why would there be one?”

“Karl Heinz was found in a bed with unspoiled sheets. I therefore think the murderer knocked over the candelabra next to his bed shortly after the murder and singed the bodies arm. For some reason instead of leaving the blaze, the murderer must have snuffed it out and removed the burned and bloody bedsheets. They then changed them with clean ones.”

“That sounds like an awful amount of trouble to go to,” Reiji said flatly.

“Mn…” Ruki slid his gaze over them. “His body was found at 6.00am by the butler. That’s all I know about the incident itself. That, and the murder weapon.” He pulled out a single silver knife from inside his jacket, setting it down on the table.

Subaru swallowed. A few brothers directed their gazes at the floor or wall. A tactic Ruki knew well. They knew who it belonged to, but they didn’t want to rat them out.

“This was found discarded outside the house among the bushes. The blade matches the types of lacerations and wounds found on the body.” Ruki sat back, threading his fingers. “I’d now like to hear your alibis.”

“But surely you’ve already read the police report? Saying it again is tiresome,” Kanato sighed, squeezing teddy.

The Detective regarded him cooly. “I would like to hear it directly from you.”

So that he could see if anyone slipped up or looked as though they were rehearsing lines. Sometimes people even remembered things they’d forgotten.

Shuu revealed he’d been in his room, asleep when the incident happened.

Ayato had also been sound asleep in his room.

And Laito.

And Reiji.

And-

All of them. Not one of them had an alibi that could be proven by another person.

Ruki’s eyes narrowed when none of them wavered. Either they were telling the truth, or they were such strong liars that it was second nature not to flinch.

As Reiji went about making them all tea, Ruki inwardly went over what each of them did for a living, as he’d found from his own investigative work.

Shuu was the apathetic and lazy eldest son who remained jobless, he’d never worked a day in his life.

Reiji proved the exact opposite. As an accomplished scientist, he’d contributed much to the medical field.

The triplets ran some sort of high-end pub, which Ruki knew to be a secret brothel. He’d sent Yuma there himself just to make sure.

Yuma had not wanted to talk about it too much, apparently shaken. Naturally the Triplets denied all accusations in past Police inquires, not wanting to get arrested.

Subaru had little prospects and had become the grounds keeper of the estate.

And last of all was miss Komori, whom Karlheinz took under his wing after taking her from a convent. Why, exactly, Ruki didn’t know. She was a dedicated missionary worker, and a catholic who helped out with the churches, convents and orphanages.

Truly a saint. He sneered.

Accepting the tea, he levelled his gaze at Reiji. “If I’m not mistaken, you have different Mothers, correct?”

Ayato tensed, glaring. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Enough, Ayato. Yes, Shuu and I are from Karlheinz’s first wife, Beatrice. The Triplets are from his second, Cordelia. Subaru is from his…current wife, Christa.” Reiji explained.

Ruki feigned innocence. “And what happened to the first two?”

“They were murdered, their cases still unsolved,” Shuu drawled quietly, not opening his eyes.

“Fufufu, yes~ Father was referred to as Bluebeard for a while by the city folk. They thought he did it.”

Glancing at Laito, the detective lifted a brow. “You don’t?”

“Hm? Ohh who can say?” Green eyes glittered.

After taking a sip of his cup, Ruki looked up. Though there were plenty of lamps lit, the air was slightly chilly. Curiously, the brothers left the fireplace unlit. “I’d like to finally talk about the Will this evening, before going to see the scene of the murder.”

The brothers shifted and glanced at each other.

“I heard the details myself. Your Father certainly had a dark sense of humour,” he smiled slightly. “It said that his vast fortune and estate would go to the son who managed to kill him, is that not correct?”

Only Reiji nodded. The others wore unreadable expressions.

“What’s more, he went on to say that whoever did so would gain miss Komori’s hand in marriage.” Ruki’s sharp eyes slid to Yui, who lingered near the wall, hands drawn up to her chest like she were silently praying. “And curiously, you omitted yourself from the Will, didn’t you Subaru?”

All eyes turned to the youngest, who glared. “So what? I don’t want to be part of whatever sick and twisted game that man thought up! I don’t want his money!” He spat.

Thin lips curved up, blue-grey eyes assessing him. “Well it is a bit of a double-edged sword. Only the murderer can gain the money and miss Komori. And they’ll only get that fortune once they’ve turned themselves in or been caught.”

Silence descended on the room. A tense energy charged the already gloomy and quiet atmosphere.

A servant then interrupted the group, piping up that dinner was ready.

After eating their meals without much incident, Ruki mused to himself as he held the fine silver cutlery, that it looked just like the ones from his memory. From days of old, when he’d been living in his own fine, lavish mansion. Where servants had waited on him hand and foot and he’d thanked them with whips, knives and cruelty.

Ruki set down the silver spoon.

“Mr. Mukami, are you alright?” Yui murmured quietly, sitting beside him at the table.

Glancing at her, he wondered what kind of expression he’d been making. “Yes…fine thank you. I think I’d like to retire to bed after inspecting the murder scene, if that’s acceptable.”

“Oh, of course.” She nodded, smiling kindly.  

“Don’t dally too long in showing him Father’s room, Yui.” Kanato sniffed. “You promised to fix Teddy’s stitching.”

“Ah, y-yes.”

“And help the servants tidy the kitchen.” Reiji snipped.

The Sakamaki’s watched them leave the table with narrow, slightly hostile gazes. Ruki almost found it refreshing they did nothing to hide their dislike of him.

He followed miss Komori up the stairs, who seemed to be in the habit of clutching a rosary to her.

“They treat you much like Livestock. A servant, instead of their equal as Karl Heinz’s ward.” Ruki mused, gliding his hand up the dark wooden handrail.

Yui stiffened. “Mn. I’ve become used to them though,” she admitted.

“Why exactly did Karl Heinz adopt you?”

“I don’t know honestly. When he visited my convent, he just requested to take me home. I thought at first he’d be doing something terrible or underhanded to me, but he was very pleasant and kind, if a little distant. I think…sometimes he did it so that his sons could talk to someone ordinary.” She said, reaching the top of the staircase and carrying on down a long hallway.

“Ordinary?”

“Mhm. They dismiss their servants, so of course they wouldn’t bother talking to them like regular people. But their pride and upbringing has made it difficult for them to even talk to other gentleman or ladies. I guess introducing me to them was a way of trying to make them lower their standards,” she gave a self-deprecating giggle, before it died in her throat. They’d reached Karl Heinz’s door.

“I wouldn’t say that, my Lady,” Ruki muttered, passing by her frozen figure and opening it.

Everything was silent within. He could see that the room looked a little bare, but knew various items had been confiscated for the police investigation. The double bed was large and fit for a King, the moonlight filtering in through the window.

Ruki stopped to take it in, before walking around the bed to its left side. Apparently that was where Karl had been laying when he was murdered. Sinking to one knee, he touched the wooden floorboard, finding part of it a darker colour. It was clearly charred.

Excess embers from the burns on Karl’s arm? This only confirmed to him the blaze had been an accident. A candelabra had been on the list of confiscated items, which had been found on the floor.

The thing that confused him was the changed sheets. If the murderer had killed Karl and managed to snuff out the blaze, why bother to wait around and change the bedding?

Unless…

Azusa had said there had been jagged, uneven cuts on Karl’s upper arm as well. Like someone had attempted amputation. The cuts had been made also after the victim had been deceased.

A cover up?

“M-Mr. Mukami. Is everything okay in there?” Came Yui’s voice.

“Yes, I’m fine.” Straightening, he took another look around the room, pulling out draws. He then re-joined Yui in the hallway, who seemed hesitant to go in.

“I suppose I should retire to bed.” He inclined his head.

“Yes, me too. Thank you for all your hard work so far.”

Nodding, Ruki spied movement out of the corner of his eye. The youngest Sakamaki again.

Deciding to test a theory, he stepped closer to the woman, who remained clueless. Ruki then crowded her back into the wall, setting his hand up near her head.

Yui’s cheeks flushed, eyes widening. “M-Mr. Mukami- what are you-“

“You’re like Eve in a den of snakes, so helpless and yet a singular existence amidst filth. There’s something very compelling about you, miss Komori.”

“I barely know you, sir!”

“Perhaps you should use my first name and it will deepen our familiarity then, Yui,” he purrs, mouth inches from her ear. From the angle however, it probably looked like he was kissing her neck.

“HEY!”

Before he was ripped off her, Ruki noticed a hickey she’d tried to hide under the lace of her collar.

Subaru stood between them, fist slamming into Ruki’s jaw. Yui cried out and grabbed the young man’s arm, tugging at him as Ruki staggered.

“Subaru! H-he didn’t hurt me, it’s alright.”

“HOW IS IT? OR ARE YOU FINE WITH OTHER MEN DOIN’ WHAT THEY WANT WITH YA?” Subaru roared, eyes blazing.

Yui dropped his arm. Ruki brushed a hand over his aching jaw.

“I didn’t say that,” she said quietly, averting her gaze. “I’m tired. I’ll see you tomorrow, gentleman.”

Watching her figure retreat, hurrying down the hallway and obviously fighting tears, Ruki glanced at Subaru.

“You stay away from her!” He snapped.

Ruki rose a brow. “Why? Are you that protective of her as your sister? From what I know, she’s only been living here a year.”

The white-haired boy stiffened, caught.

Ruki smiled slightly. “I assume this is my room?” He gestured to an undecorated door, pointing to him that it was a guest bedroom.

“Piss off,” Subaru tossed his head, grouchily stomping away and leaving Ruki alone. Humming, the detective slipped inside his room.

Laying down for the night, he wearily fought away the usual nightmares.

OOO

The next few days, Ruki quietly observed the behaviours of each of the Sakamaki children during their day.

Shuu, predictably, slept.

Reiji worked from home in his study, which was strictly off limits. Ruki had peered in anyway, seeing the research and experiments on display. Karl’s system had no trace of poison, narcotics or any other type of tampering, so Ruki left him be.

He then wrote down instructions and passed them to a servant he’d paid off, who in turn happened to wander into the market and pass them to Yuma and Kou.

Yuma despaired in following the Triplets again to their place of work, but grimly did so.

Kou’s task was to follow the youngest Sakamaki.

He watched and kept his distance, having the uncanny ability to mix into any atmosphere and belong if he was in disguise. The singer raised a brow when Subaru visited the Mad House, however. Hanging back, Kou waited an hour outside before Subaru left, looking much paler with eyes downcast. A red mark was blooming on his cheek.

Kou wandered inside afterwards and just so happened to find out who he’d been visiting; His mother, Christa.

After passing back the information to Ruki via similar means, the eldest Mukami paused. He then showed the murder weapon to the servant he’d paid off, asking who it belonged to.

Soon after, he wrote in his notes – prime suspect: Subaru Sakamaki. Owner of silver knife.

Motive: His Mother suffered great pain at the hands of Karl Heinz, who had a terrible effect on her sanity.

He just needed a little more proof and it would be enough. Though…something didn’t add up to him, and he couldn’t figure out what. He therefore had Kou tail Subaru one extra day, tailing him to the East side of London.

Ooo

Following the ward himself, Ruki sat down in the church one afternoon. He wasn’t exactly one for praying, but he allowed Yui to stay as she was, hand’s clasped and head bowed. She took a few minutes more to finish up, before glancing at him guardedly.

“O-oh. Hello, Mr. Mukami.”

“You don’t have to be afraid, and Ruki is fine.” He smirked, standing when she did. “Off to do missionary work now?”

“Yes, I’m quite busy,” she murmured.

“And what sections of London do you usually visit? East side?”

“N-No. Just the local area. I don’t get out much or walk so far,” Yui held her prayer book, walking down the aisle.

“Lying in a church?” Ruki chuckled, causing her to freeze. He approached her from behind slowly. “It’s funny. Just the other day someone spotted you in East side, walking into a hotel famous for its sordid affairs and meetups for estranged lovers.”

Yui turned to face him, pale.

His lips curved cruelly. “You met Subaru in there just the other day, didn’t you?”

“How do you…know that was me? It could have been anyone.”

He reached into his jacket pocket, taking something out. “You left behind some damning evidence.”

A rosary dangled in front of her face. Yui gaped, patting down her pockets and finding them empty. Shuddering, she blinked the tears from her eyes.

“I knew it. He killed Karl to prevent anyone else from having you. He did it to protect you in his own twisted min-“

“No that’s not it!” Yui burst. “He was with me that night. We w-were together, making love. Please don’t tell anyone.”

At this, Ruki paused. “You lied to the police. Why go that far? You two are hardly doing anything illegal, you’re not fully adopted as his sister.”

“It’s not that…Subaru has a poor opinion of himself,” Yui said quietly, wiping away the stray tears that escaped. “He doesn’t want my virtue being called into question. He….thinks I should marry a gentleman. But I can’t do that if my reputation is ruined. So we keep it a secret.”

Ruki observes her quietly. “…You love him, don’t you?”

“More than anything,” Yui murmured, looking at him with a raised chin and determined eyes.

“Hm,” he smiled slightly, thinking her a rare find in a greedy, murderous mansion. What he didn’t say, however, was that her admission didn’t ease him. She could easily be lying to protect a lover. If he didn’t receive any more information to the contrary, then Sakamaki Subaru would likely be arrested for his father’s murder.

Ooo

A soiree was held on the fourth day, taking place in the evening. It was in incredibly poor taste to have one before the funeral, but it didn’t stop the guests from pouring in. Ruki wondered if the brothers were doing it just to spite him.

However, he decided to just observe the young men in their natural habitat. Shuu didn’t move as per usual, while the Triplets were laughing it up in the Game room. He noticed that Kanato was the more reserved one, not quite having the flair for conversation his two brothers had. The youngest triplet therefore quietly slipped out, and his presence wasn’t even missed.

Ayato had his arm around a busty brunette, grinning at her. “You know you’d work real well in a show we do.”

“Ohh, what kind of show?” She purred, playing with his loose tie as he tipped alcohol down his throat.

Subaru passed by their table, hands drawn into tight fists. He knocked a wine glass in his rush, tipping it over.

Laito cried out, “naaw! Subaru~ you ruined the table cloth. Reiji will be maad-“

“Indeed, I’m a little cross.” Reiji suddenly stormed up, glaring at the plume of red staining the crisp white cloth.

Subaru snarled. “Shut up! It wasn’t my fault!”

“Honestly, go bring me a fresh table cloth at the very least.”

“I don’t know where all that crap is!” He snarled, while Reiji sighed.

“Very well, I’ll do it. As per usual,” he snipped, walking out.

It was clear none of them got on. Ruki opened his mouth to say something- before a horrible, deafening yell came from the other room. Running to the living room, he found Shuu sat in the corner, knees drawn up and violently shaking, rocking back and forth as the curtains from the slightly open windows swayed.

“What happened?”

“He’s afraid of fire,” Subaru muttered, appearing at his side.

Glancing at the fireplace, Ruki noticed it was lit. Quickly grabbing the bucket next to it, which was usually always filled next to fire places for emergencies, he found it empty.

“Fill this with water, immediately.” He shoved it into a startled maid’s hands. She quickly rushed by the confused guests, who looked at the helpless man cowering in the corner. Subaru was at his side, awkwardly putting a hand on his shoulder and muttering quietly to him.

“W-we just lit the fire because it was chilly.” A man defended, looking slightly guilty.

The maid felt like she took an agonisingly slow time, but finally she returned. Ruki quickly grabbed the heavy bucket and threw the water onto the flames. They hissed on impact, charred wood going damp.

Shuu’s violent shudders slowly abated, breathing calming. Ruki exhaled, walking over and crouching before him.

“Mr. Sakamaki, are you alright?”

Shuu didn’t answer.

Clearing his throat, Subaru offered: “He uh…had a trauma as a kid.”

“What happened?”

“I dunno. He’s never told me. Only one of us who knows is Reiji.”

Ruki nodded, standing. He was about to collect his thoughts, when yet another scream rang out. This time, it was a woman’s voice.

“Someone come quickly! Help! Help!”

The word caught in Ruki’s ears and pushed him to run. He wasn’t even aware he was moving, sprinting up the lavish staircase. His heart thundered in his ears. Blood pumped rapidly through his burning veins.

The crying maid stood outside a bedroom, body wrecked with sobs. Ruki distantly heard the other Sakamakai’s joining him but didn’t stop, rushing into the room with pink wallpaper.

Yui sat in a chair, dressed in a beautiful black gown. She’d obviously tried to make the best of the mourning colour. He couldn’t remember seeing her at the party. Now he definitely wouldn’t.

Recovering from his moment of shock, he quickly padded over and pressed two fingers to her neck. Try as he might however, he couldn’t find a pulse. Her eyes were already closed.

Ruki then took note of the slight foam dripping down her chin from her mouth. Picking up the empty glass at her feet, he sniffed it. The scent was sharp. Not wine, and certainly not water.

Horrified noises of some stray guests came from the door. Ruki sharply turned. “There has been a murder. I ask that the doors be shut and all guests please remain in the house. Someone call the police!”

From out of the Sakamakis, Subaru stepped out, his eyes wide.

“Y…ui…”

He suddenly raced forward, knocking Ruki aside to grab at her clothes. “YUI!”

Ruki tried to seize him and tug him off- the body couldn’t be interfered with after all. Reiji joined him, pulling the distraught, crying man off his lover.

Blue-grey eyes shifted to Reiji, something clicking in his mind. Whatever had killed Yui, the circumstances of her murder seemed right up his ally.

OOO

In all his years of work, Ruki hadn’t had much time to really be affected by death. He didn’t mourn, or feel much of anything for the victims. They were just bodies.

Miss Yui Komori was different. Seeing her be put on a stretcher and then loaded into the back of an open wagon like anyone else…made his chest twinge.

Just a little.

She was covered by a white sheet, and then carted off down the cold cobblestone road.

Subaru was inconsolable. He sat on a leather couch, elbows resting on his knees, head bowed. Ruki didn’t feel the need to interview him or Shuu just yet. The police naturally interviewed all the guests, something that stretched into the early hours of the morning.

Ruki however, kept a strict eye on the other Sakamakis. He entered Reiji’s study and pointed out the various chemicals held on site to the police, who went through each vile and confiscated them. In the days that followed, an expert was called to test the effects of each one, but none matched up to what Azusa pinpointed to be the fatal thing that had ended miss Komori’s life.

Deciding to write a letter to Kou and Yuma, Ruki gave them some strict instructions.

The six Sakamaki brothers sat in their drawing room one evening, sporting various tired or apathetic looks. Subaru’s face was ashen.

Stepping into the dimly lit room, Ruki cleared his throat. “Gentleman. I have an announcement to make. New information has come to light concerning Yu- I mean miss Komori’s murder.”

The white-haired man’s head shot up, staring at him. “What is it?” He hissed.

Taking out a piece of parchment, Ruki unfolded it. “She was killed by a fatal dose of a type of poison extracted from a rare, exotic plant. It is very expensive, and very hard to come by. Only someone with considerable wealth could purchase such a thing, and only one merchant in London sells it.”

He turned the paper around, showing a merchants list of products and purchases. Reiji’s name was clearly written down.

The room was quiet, and Reiji didn’t react. He merely looked on calmly.

Subaru suddenly lunged for him- only to be caught by Shuu and held back. He snarled and kicked, struggling. “YOU BASTARD! WHY?! WHY DID YOU DO IT? SHE NEVER HURT ANYONE!”

Ruki put the list away. “…You’re the one who instructed the servants to open the windows the night of the soiree. That’s why a random guest innocently asked for the fire to be lit. You threw away the water ahead of time, knowing Shuu’s reaction would be a distraction enough for you to deliver the spiked drink to Yui in her room. What’s more the lack of water held us up further.”

Reiji remained quiet, hearing the sounds of carriages pulling up outside, no doubt police. He then smiled slightly. “Mn. Seems you’ve caught me, Detective.”

“Why?”

“Why do it?” He scoffed, adjusting his cuffs. “She was an eyesore. She never belonged in this prestigious family. That, and her reputation with Subaru would have reflected badly on this family if their secret got out. She was a whore for losing her innocence out of wedlock.”

Subaru cried out, shuddering and swiping at him. Shuu held fast.

“And you decide to do it now? While I’m still here? Not a very smart move.”

“Hm, yes well. I’d hoped you’d be distracted by Father’s case enough to not to solve this one. What’s more, I paid off that merchant to keep silent. You must have some substantial wealth yourself, Detective.”

Ruki avoided his eyes, heading to the door to allow the police in.

They led the second eldest Sakamaki away, and he went quietly, head held high, back straight. The Triplets watched with mild surprise, while Shuu remained solemn. Subaru, Ruki mused, bordered on hysterics.

Walking up to him, he reached into his pocket, pulling something out.

Red, hazy eyes refocused when something small and cool was placed into his palm. He blinked down at the rosary, glancing up at Ruki, who nodded.

“The morgue sent back this. I thought you should have it.”

Luckily Azusa had sent it when asked.

Subaru held the rosary close, bowing his head and trembling.

OOO

When it came time for Karl Heinz’s funeral, not one of his sons attended. Ruki stood with the servants and aristocrats, somewhat glad he had the excuse of the investigation to attend. His hand clenched into a fist at his side, blood racing hotly.

He knew Karl Heinz hadn’t been a perfect man. Or a perfect father. But those foolish sons could have at least come to pay their respects.

Without any other leads on top of this, his mood turned darker and darker, shuddering with frustration. He needed to do something to get results.

And fast.

OOO

Laito had been cornered when he’d happened to be alone down an ally, taking his usual shortcut into work. Laito made a noise as an arm covered his throat, pressing down and pinning him hard against the wall. Yuma loomed over him, eyes dark.

“What-“

“You’re going to start telling the truth, Mr. Sakamaki.” Quiet footsteps sounded out, before Ruki walked into view, adjusting his gloves. “We’re patient men, but our patience does have a limit.”

Laito smiled, chuckling weakly. “My, how scary~ Is this the part where you play good cop, bad co-“ the strong arm pressed harder, digging his skull into the brick behind him. Air rushed from Laito’s lungs and he squirmed, gripping the flesh and trying to pry it away. “Alright! Alright!” He wheezed.

Ruki rose a brow, waiting. “There’s something you haven’t told me about your Father’s death. You, or your brothers must have seen or heard a commotion. A small fire was started after all. Tell me.”

Coughing, Laito paused, weighing his options.

“Wouldn’t it be a pity, if say…your dear Brothel was uncovered by the police once and for all?” Ruki sighed with dismay.

Green eyes flickered. He then chuckled, swallowing. “We’d have noticed a Detective walking in.”

“Perhaps. But maybe you remember the gentleman holding you?” Ruki gestured to Yuma. “He knows where you hide the girls when there’s an inspection. He knows the ins and outs of the place very well. I’ll expose your business to everyone and you’ll be arrested right now if you don’t-“

“I saw Shuu,” Laito said quietly.

“What?”

“On the night of the murder, I saw Shuu leave Father’s bedroom. I was entertaining a lady friend you see, and she was to leave out the back door. I was seeing her off. When we crept out of my room together, we noticed him. He looked as though he’d been crying, shaking. The usual thing if he’s seen a fire. He had flecks of blood on his shirt if I’m not mistaken. She then left.”

Pausing, Ruki thought for a moment. “I’d like you to give me this woman’s details of where to find her. I’d like her to confirm.”

Laito nodded slightly. Yuma then backed off, causing the man to heave in quick breaths, clutching around his throat.

“One more thing. Was he holding the murder weapon or sheets at the time?”

“No, not that I remember.”

Ruki hummed, eyes narrowing. He then took Laito’s lover’s details to go follow up on a check, walking away with Yuma.

“Ya think it’s alright, being seen together?” Yuma muttered.

“It doesn’t matter if they know we’re working together now, Yuma. This case is nearly over by my estimation. I just need to find that shirt, if it still exists.”

OOO

Ruki searched the grounds with Yuma for a bloodied shirt. He opened draw after draw in Shuu’s room, unable to find one that looked newly scrubbed of stains. He asked the maids if Shuu was missing a shirt, or if they’d been asked to wash a bloodied one, but none of them knew anything.

He then sat down and thought for a while on a garden bench outside. The roses were truly beautiful. It was clear Subaru kept them maintained.

Ruki spied him cutting at a bush with some sheers, Yui’s rosary around his neck.

Yui…

Standing, Ruki’s eyes slightly widened. There was a place he hadn’t searched, out of respect for the dead. After all, Yui’s case was closed. No one would need to enter her room.

Hypothetically.

Hurrying inside, he took the stairs two at a time and burst into Miss Komori’s room, searching like a man possessed. He pulled out draws, opened wardrobes and shoe boxes, even going so far to pull up floorboards- when he finally found it.

Ruki lifted out a crisp white shirt covered in bloodstains.

Cornering a jittery maid outside the room, he demanded to know whose shirt it was- before a calm voice spoke up.

“It’s mine.”

Ruki turned. The narcoleptic blonde stared back listlessly, stifling a yawn.

“…You understand what that implies, don’t you?”

Shuu lifted a shoulder. “Mhm. Well, looks like you’ve found me out. Who told you about it?”

“Laito. It was a random choice. I just decided to target one of the Triplets to squeeze information out of.”

Listless blue eyes slid shut, and he hummed, leaning against the wall. It seemed as though his strength was leaving him.

“Why kill him? Karl Heinz…was no saint but-“

“He was going to kick me out of the house, because I refused to get a job.” Shuu drawled, loosely holding his arms.

Ruki stared. “That’s it? You murdered him for such a reason?”

Shuu shrugged, lapsing into silence. He was apparently done talking. It only boiled the detectives anger into a deep, seething resentment. The Mukami’s had been loyal sons till the end. But Karl’s flesh and blood treated him as such?

It blind sighted him.

“But your fear of fire- what of the blaze?”

“Ah, yeah that.” He sighed. “I knocked over the candelabra and freaked out. I wasn’t thinking clearly and changed the sheets. I wanted to remove any evidence of the fire cause I’d panicked and felt like it would point to me, but heard voices and left before I could-“

“Hack off his burned arm.” Ruki muttered, frowning. Something wasn’t adding up. Changing the sheets sounded very out of character for the lazy son, but then again, he didn’t look the murderous type either. He shook his head, trying to dispel the niggling questions in the back of his mind.

Sakamaki Shuu was arrested for the murder of Karl Heinz later that day.

The day after, Ruki Mukami packed his bags, preparing to leave Sakamaki manor.

“Feh, you finally off? Good riddance.” Ayato snipped, glaring at him from over the banister as Ruki carried his things downstairs.

The detective didn’t reply. He couldn’t help but think he was missing something. Something important.

“Ayato,” Kanato padded up to his brother, squeezing his teddy bear. “Where is Hilde? She has not tidied my room for several days now. I want her punished.”

Hilde. She had usually straightened Ruki’s bedding too. He’d figured they’d told her to stop attending to him. But it hardly mattered.

He picked up his bags and with the help of the butler, carried them out the door into a waiting carriage. While being carted away, Ruki glanced at the greenhouse, noticing Subaru working as usual inside. The youngest Sakamaki certainly had some lonely days ahead.

For some reason, Yui came to mind once more. Ruki leaned out of the carriage, calling to the driver their change of destination.

If he was saying goodbye to the case, it felt only right to bid her goodbye as well. And Azusa would always receive him warmly at the morgue downtown.

Ooo

Subaru Sakamaki barely noticed the carriage leaving, too caught up in his work. He needed to work now, more than anything. It was the only path left open to him to stop the turning of his mind as it scrambled and unhinged over and over again.

What if I’d just spent time with her at the party?

What if he hadn’t pushed her away?

What if-

Subaru slammed his fist into the glass, tears blurring his vision. Too late. Work wouldn’t help now. He stood on the precipice of despair. One little nudge and he’d fall on his own blade. His hand finds the rosary around his neck, squeezing so tight it shook.

“Yui…” he murmured, voice thin with disuse. “I’m…I’m so sorry.”

The tears rolled down his cheeks as he sat down amongst the flowers. He closed his eyes against the sting, before they peeled open and fate was cruel once more.

His beloved stood before him, and Subaru only cried harder, trembling. “Forgive me. Forgive me-“

“There’s nothing to forgive,” she said gently. The sun behind her caught the radiant blonde strands of her hair, making them shine like a golden halo.

Subaru shuddered, body pulsing with pain.

OOO

“Ah…hello Ruki,” Azusa smiled gently at him.

He nodded, feeling himself relax slightly. His brothers usually had that effect on him.

“What brings you… here?”

“I’d like to pay my respects to Yui Komori, if you still have her.”

Azusa nodded, gesturing to follow. “Mhm, she is…almost ready for her funeral. Come…”

Following the shorter man down the hallway, Ruki adjusted his clothes, hating how stifling the atmosphere felt. He didn’t much understand how Azusa could stomach the gloomy morgue.

They walked into a room with several storage units built into the walls, all made for housing bodies. Azusa opened one, pulling out a metal shelving unit. A lone body lay atop it, white sheet covering her from head to toe.

Ruki sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t even know why I came here. It’s not like I know what to say.”

Azusa tilted his head. “Perhaps say…mn…you have been avenged?”

Taking a breath, Ruki leaned over the sheet slightly. “Yui. You can rest easy. Your murderer has been apprehended,” he said gently, peeling back the sheet to glimpse her face. “There’s no need for you to w-“

Ruki froze.

Looking between the two, Azusa blinked. “What’s wrong?”

OOO

Subaru stumbled to his feet, honestly uncaring if he fell on his sheers at this point. He padded towards Yui’s beautiful, angelic figure, his chapped lips curved up.

Finally, he collapsed into her arms.

Her very real, very physical arms. He turned his face into her neck, inhaling her scent as she make a noise of effort.

“S-subaru! You’re heavy!”

“Yeah well, you’re an angel. You should be able to hold my weight.” He mumbled.

Yui held his face then, kissing his lips and smiling gently. “I’m not an angel.”

Subaru frowned slightly, straightening. He then touched her cheek, patting it and stiffening. She felt warm. Real.

“You’re alive?!”

Yui giggled and nodded, taking his hand. “I am. But we have to go now.”

OOO

“What do you mean this isn’t Yui?”

Ruki turned to glare at Azusa, gesturing to the pale brunette girl. “This is Hilde. She was a maid at the Sakamaki Manor. I have to go- send word to Kou to go and observe Subaru Sakamaki. If she’s alive, she might get in contact with him. But it’s also possible Reiji is merely fucking with me.”

He grits his teeth, quickly storming out of the room. He couldn’t believe he’d been fooled! When had he switched them out? Was Yui dead or alive? Surely, she had to be dead! He’d checked her pulse himself. She’d looked just like any other body.

Taking one of the horses from the carriage, he set out alone, bidding it to gallop through the murky downtown streets. Fog lingered in the air. The horse’s hooves thundered on the cobblestone, passing pedestrians and nearly running them over.

Ruki panted, gripping the reins and urging the beast on. Soon enough, he swung his legs over and jumped from the saddle, racing inside the police station.

Ooo

Reiji happened to be enjoying a nice cup of tea in his cell when he was rudely interrupted.

“Where is she?” The detective snarled, looming outside the bars. “No more games. Where is miss Komori?” He demanded, voice quivering.

Raising a brow, Reiji shifted in his seat. “Ah, you’ve finally figured it out. Or was the swap something you stumbled across by accident?” He mocked.

“Tell me!” He snarled.

Reiji sighed, sipping from his cup. “Haven’t the faintest idea now. When I put her under, I allowed the police to take her away. But your undertaker isn’t the only staff who works there.” He smiles slightly. “Yes I know one of them is your brother. An Azusa Mukami correct? Next time you go undercover, you might want to change your last name. As it is, the undertaker I paid off snuck Yui out and placed another body in her place, as per my instruction.”

“So, you killed Hilde at the very least.”

He dismissed this. “She kept making basic mistakes and it was a necessary sacrifice.”

Ruki stopped. “Necessary? I don’t…understand.”

The Sakamaki chuckled, delighted. “I know. And it must enrage you. Don’t think me the romantic type, I didn’t do it for Yui or anyone. All this case has done is elevate me into the eyes of my peers in the world of science. You see, they refused to believe that I had made a chemically enhanced drink capable of rendering people into a corpse-like state. They wouldn’t allow me to demonstrate my findings, despite how surely amazing it is!” Red-wine eyes gleamed behind his glasses. “And now those fools and the public at large will now know that it can even fool a Detective. That is why I agreed to it. My work is out for all to see.”

“But Yui- why would she fake her death?” Ruki muttered to himself, thoughts racing to the blonde ward. But he could only think of her expression in the church, the desperation. “…For love,” he realised quietly. Somehow, it clicked.

Glancing up at the scientist, he noticed the man’s lips drawn into a slight sneer. “Indeed. You were getting too close to the truth. It was clear who you were going to arrest for Karl Heinz’s death. So, this was her idea to buy him time, enough for them to flee.”

Ruki’s eyes widened. “Subaru…Sakamaki.”

Reiji hummed, setting his chipped cup down on the less than adequate saucer. “Seems you’ve arrested the wrong man.”

“He…admitted to it though- it’s nonsensical if he didn’t-“ Ruki’s eyes widened, kicking the cell door. It rattled on its hinges. “That bastard. Shuu must have known his imprisonment would be temporary. That he’d be released as soon as I found out the culprit!”

“Who can say what that Good for Nothing thinks. He barely has a will to live. He probably doesn’t care if he’s set free.” Reiji drawls. “But you were somewhat right. Shuu was there in Karl’s room that night. And so was I. But Subaru got there first.”

Ruki pinched the bridge of his nose, heart racing. It had all been clear to see from the start. Such an easy case. Subaru’s forthright anger and somewhat lack of intelligence. The crime of passion- stabbing his father multiple times with his own knife because he was blind sighted by rage and didn’t have the foresight to plan a murder ahead.

And so it had fallen to his elder brothers to try and smooth things over.

“You’re the one who changed the sheets,” Ruki muttered.

“Mn, I arrived last. Shuu had followed Subaru to Father’s room and tried to stop the attack too late, but they foolishly started a small fire. Naturally the fool got hysterical. There was no water nearby so Subaru like the genius he is-“ Reiji cut his eyes to the ceiling. “Tried to cut Father’s burning arm off in order to get rid of it and calm Shuu. I heard the crying as I passed by and entered to complete mayhem. Changing the sheets was the only was to calm him down. Subaru discarded his shirt and the murder weapon and Shuu left. I destroyed the ruined sheet.”

“…The shirt I found in Yui’s room was Subaru’s not Shuu’s. He must have gone there after…” Ruki trailed off. Did Shuu truly care for his brother enough to take the fall for him?

Thinking back on the incident with the fireplace, he supposed so. And Yui had known everything from the start. Worked to protect her sweetheart.

Ruki shook his head. There was only one question left.

“Why kill Karl in the first place?”

Reiji adjusts his glasses. “That I do not know.”

It was possible his mother’s shaken sanity was enough of a reason, but he’d heard Christa had been taken mentally ill when Subaru was a child. It couldn’t be the reason or surely Subaru would have struck sooner.

“…Your actions were foolish. You’ll still be tried for murder.”

“Murder of a mere maid, not a Lady. But I hardly care. My life’s work will be acknowledged.”

Squeezing his eyes shut against the pounding of his temples, Ruki turned without a second glance. Kou would be tailing Subaru. Hopefully he’d made it in time. But he could need backup to apprehend the lovers if they’d made their escape.

So where would they go to leave?

He thought of a single pamphlet Ruki had found in Yui’s room when searching for the shirt. One advertising a new ship that could make the crossing to Germany three times faster than usual. Ruki had dismissed it as a girl’s fanciful dreaming to escape. But maybe that hadn’t been all it was.

Instincts rose up in Ruki’s chest, and he followed them to his horse, clicking his tongue to begin galloping anew.

OOO

The Port of London lay along the banks of the River Thames from the capital to the North Sea.

Unfortunately, it was one of the largest in the world.

Ruki didn’t have a clue where to start in order to find the vessel he wanted.

A ship known simply as Rotigenberg.

He’d told the police of the truth of the murderers and his hunch before he’d left but not even his reputation had gotten them to move based on no concrete evidence. The ships lining the docks were large and imposing, so numerous Ruki couldn’t keep track.

The horse trotted down the docks, and he kept track of the names of the ships as best he could. Seeing children suddenly rush by, he hissed and yanked the reins, halting just shy of hitting them.

“Careful!” He snapped.

The street urchins looked up at him, and Ruki stopped, his heart clenching.

“We’re sorry, sir-“

“It’s just that THE Kou Mukami is singing for free further ahead!” The little girl interrupted the older boy.

Ruki’s eyes widened. “He is?” That was good thinking. He quickly urged the horse around the children and urged it into a gallop, straining his ears for his brother’s distinct singing voice.

He found Kou soon enough, having attracted quite a crowd around him. Kou caught his eye and nodded, pointing at the ship opposite him.

Rotigenberg awaited.

Kou soon hopped down from the make-shift stage, ignoring the saddened crowd as he joined Ruki’s side. “I only took my eyes off them for a second- but I know they boarded this one. Mr. Subaru’s hair is too distinct,” he grinned.

“Well done Kou,” Ruki muttered, boarding the ship.

“Mhm~ so uh quick question though; how in the hell is miss Komori still alive? I thought I was seeing things when they got into a carriage together!”

“It’s a long story. I’ll explain later, once we’ve apprehended them.”

“Do you have a ticket, sir?” A stern looking man in a uniform stopped them at the end of the boardwalk.

Ruki opened his jacket, handing him stamped papers. “I’m here on an investigation, it won’t take long. Can you hold the ship to wait until we’re done?”

“You’d have to take that up with the Captain, not myself.” The man said flatly.

Kou cut his eyes to the heavens, but neither argued.

“That’s fine, but if passengers under the name Sakamaki attempt to leave this vessel, you will stop them. Failure to do so may result in the loss of your job if I inform the chief of police of your impediment of the case.” Ruki said breezily, walking by.

Kou held in a chuckle until they were further away. “Geeze, ruthless.” He teased.

The both of them soon hurried around the deck, searching for Subaru’s unmissable hair.

“What were they wearing?”

“Nothing too distinct. He was in a grey suit and darker grey coat that looked like it had seen better days. She was in a black dress and bonnet.” Kou hummed.

Still in mourning? Ruki thought. “We’ll search the lower decks- the boiler room if we have to. Start from the stern and open every cabin. I’ll work my way to you from the other direction after speaking with the Captain.”

Kou nodded and the two parted ways. The blonde hurried down the stairs, disappearing from sight and heading towards the lower-class rooms first.

Ruki padded up the iron stairs, holding onto the railing and jolting as a horn blew. To his surprise and annoyance, the ship started moving, departing from the harbour slowly.

Gritting his teeth, he took the steps two at a time towards the Captain’s wheelhouse, chancing a look at the ship departing next to theirs. It was a smaller vessel, with a humble green lettering on the side.

The Eden.

Ruki stopped dead.

OOO

Kou panted, opening door after door and disturbing people in various states of unpacking or dress. As he jogged down a hallway however, his heart leapt. A white-haired young man coupled with a small blonde woman were wandering away from him, dressed exactly as he remembered.

Rushing forward, Kou elbowed people out the way, grabbing Subaru’s shoulder and turning him.

Only for a man with blue eyes to blink back at him with confusion. He held his wig when it slipped.

Horror and humiliation welled up in Kou’s stomach. He suddenly grabbed the man’s collar. “Who the hell are you?!”

“P-please! W-we’re no one, we just wanted to sail somewhere,” the woman with brown eyes cried.

Kou could tell they were poor folk masquerading as grand. “Start talking! Now!”

“A-a pretty Lady approached us yesterday and gave us tickets to this ship. All we had to do was dress as she instructed and wear wigs. We picked her up with her lover t-today from her home in a carriage.”

The singer’s eyes widened. “W-what? When you got off…onto this ship…where did the Lady and her man go?”

OOO

There, on the opposite ship, standing at the railing together, was the couple he’d been searching for.

Subaru had pulled up a hood, his arms wrapped around the petite woman’s waist. She held onto him, eyes on Ruki.

It was as though he’d been suspended in a deep dark ocean. The waters flew up over Ruki’s head, making him slow to react. The ships were drifting further and further away.

He wanted to know why. Why a girl with such clear, bright eyes, would become complicit with murder. Why she embraced a man whose hands were tainted with the blood of his Father.

The strong breeze tugged at their hair and clothes. The distance between the ships might as well be oceans. Ruki thought of calling across to it. To make a commotion and point the murderer out.

Rose-pink eyes flashed, and Yui seemed to hold Subaru closer, clinging tight.

You’re determined to protect him, aren’t you miss Komori? Ruki stared back at her.

“Ruki- Ruki!” Kou called from down below, panting. “We’ve been had- urgh.” He wheezed. “They must have caught another ride. What do we do?”

The detective shifted, glancing back at The Eden. Only the lovers had disappeared into the crowd.

Ruki stood for a little while, feeling the ocean spray mingle with the salty sea air and fan over his cheeks, catching in his hair. Putting his hands into his pockets, pale lips curved, lashes lowering.

“I guess this is your win,” he muttered, padding down the stairs.

“Ruki?”

“We enjoy Germany, Kou.”

“Hah?!”

Ruki patted him on the shoulder in passing, walking to the railing and leaning on it. “My reputation as a Detective is probably ruined. I could use a holiday.”

Kou gaped, joining him. “But…why do you seem like you’re giving up?”

“There’s no giving up on a game you’ve already lost. It’s better to admit defeat gracefully,” he looked out at the ocean calmly, dark bangs fanning over his eyes briefly. “Besides, for some reason…I feel like our Father wouldn’t want any man to interfere with miss Komori’s wishes.”

“…Why?”

He lifted a shoulder. “A feeling. I’ve seen a lot of filth, lust, wrath and despair in my time on these cases. But I’ve never seen eyes so clear and innocent on an accomplice. Looking at her…I think I understand why he made her his ward. He wanted to obtain something pure.”

Kou stared at him like he was mad, and maybe he was, but Ruki didn’t much care. He had been the one to assign himself the case. Karl had never written him asking to expose his murderer should he be killed. And he’d been a very thorough man. There was still countless secrets Karl had taken to the grave with him that they’d never know.

“It seems Subaru Sakamaki was chosen as her Adam.”

“Huh?”

Ruki smiled wryly, closing his eyes.

“It’s nothing.”

OOO

“…Do you think he’ll come after us?” Subaru rumbled, leaning into Yui from behind.

“No, I don’t. Though I couldn’t say why,” she said gently, turning from the railing to look at him. She then gave a breath-taking smile.

Subaru stared at her, his heart thundering as a warm feeling flooded his veins. He didn’t know why she’d decided to remain at his side through everything. They couldn’t even say how or why the thing between them had started. Subaru had been simultaneously lonely and angry his entire life, but she’d kept approaching him, wanting to befriend him. She would sit in the garden for hours on end.

It had been ridiculously easy to love her. She had a presence that was gentle and kind.

Which was why on the day he’d removed himself from the will and he’d glimpsed the new terms- rage had seized him.

Whoever killed Father would gain Yui? Such a thing incensed him in a way nothing else had. What’s more, he’d seen the way his brothers looked at her. How their gazes lingered, thoughts strayed.

Don’t touch her!

So, he’d stuck that silver knife deep into Father’s chest- stabbing again and again- letting out years of pent up hatred.

When Shuu and Reiji arrived, they’d sent him away, and he’d stumbled in a daze into Yui’s waiting arms in her room. Though confused and horrified, she hadn’t screamed. She hadn’t said much of anything. She just held him.

In that same daze, he’d hidden his shirt and the murder weapon. It was only afterwards he’d realised how dirty his hands were. The blood had set in deep. He felt it in the scuffs of his coarse knuckles. He’d then resolved never to touch Yui again. With Father gone, she was free to choose who she wanted, he didn’t care if he hung for it.

But…

“Why did you choose me?” He grumbled, jumping at her touch.

Yui cupped his cheek, blushing slightly. The breeze playfully lifted her blonde locks up to dance in the breeze.

“You were just protecting me in your own way. A-and anyway…it’s because I love you, Subaru. I did all this because I wanted to protect you too.”

Subaru stared at her with wide eyes, before he tugged her closer, pressing his lips to hers.

“Idiot.”

OOO

After their impromptu holiday to Germany, Kou and Ruki Mukami returned to the shambles of the investigation they’d left behind.

Shuu Sakamaki was released from prison, not that he seemed to care.

The Triplets carried on with their shady business, unchanged by the experience.

Reiji’s full research was not made known to the public, but it was explored and hailed among his peers in the scientific community. Though he’d attended his court hearing and tried with murder- receiving the death sentence to be hung. Reiji had apparently taken his own life while in his cell.

Ruki had his own suspicions about that, but since he’d been let go from his position, he had no reason to investigate.

Instead, the former Detective had accepted the ridicule levelled at him, with many assuming he’d fallen prey to miss Komori’s ‘womanly charms’ which had impeded his logic and cost him the case. Despite this, he was considering becoming an information broker or Private Detective in the future, but for now he owned a book store and contented himself with reading.

His favourites were the ones involving mysteries, much like the ones he used to solve.

When asked by his brothers if he regretted his decision to let the lovers go, Ruki would dismiss their question. It did not escape their notice that he’d received something in the mail however, and sometimes he could be seen dipping his hand into his pocket, absentmindedly touching the rosary within.

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