#He is super smart and will take the time to learn the most niche shit EVER | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

azenkii · 4 years

Text

Sokka/Suki/Zuko Brotp Headcanons

These three are a god-tier brotp and i'm here to prove it

100% that one friend group who does the stupidest, most impulsive shit but they’re also super nerdy at the same time?

Like they'll be left alone together and you can guarantee that by morning they'll have broken into several heavily guarded government buildings. But like,,they didn't even steal anything important? they just wanted to see if they could find bosco's birth records and figure out why he's a regular bear

The last time they got drunk together they woke up on the Beifongs' roof in librarian's robes with a fully labelled diagram of a nonbending submarine in front of them

Suki and zuko braid each other's hair and sokka got jealous that he couldn't join in so he grew out his hair until it was long enough to braid

Suki teaches zuko how to fight with kyoshi warrior fans and he's absolute shit at it

In return, he teaches her how to fight with dual broadswords and she is not shit at it, which zuko thinks is unfair

all three of them spar together, all the time

sokka’s the unofficial leader of the group

he’s almost always the one who suggests the dumb/smart ideas

suki and zuko are pretty much on the same wavelength as him when it comes to plans so whenever he suggests something it goes like

sokka: so you guys know the new ozai society? well i was thinking about the pipes under the city-

suki: that’s a great plan. dibs on scouting the eastern block, zuko can you-?

zuko, nodding: the night market? on it

no one else can ever eavesdrop on their conversations because they just don’t make sense

the story of their escape from the boiling rock becomes legendary and they make a game out of retelling it. every time someone asks about it they’ll add something new. eventually the story ends up involving a platypus bear named Mai II, Chit Sang’s identical twin, a rope made out of bedsheets and three separate riots

sokka and zuko thought for a solid year that suki didn’t really like drinking because she always ended up relatively sober whenever they went out. turns out she drinks more than both of them combined and she’s just really, really good at holding her liquor

the amount of decrees they’ve passed while drunk is honestly ridiculous. only half of these decrees were cancelled afterwards because the other half actually made sense

suki once genuinely threatened to throw hands with one of zuko’s ministers. her reasoning was ‘he kept making weird faces whenever sokka suggested anything’

sokka and suki once ganged up against zuko. they called it ‘nonbenders solidarity’

zuko retaliated by creating a super-secret best-buds-only handshake with toph and they did it in front of sokka and suki whenever they could. sokka and suki eventually went ‘okay OKAY we GET IT also can you please...teach us the handshake it looks really cool’ and zuko was like ‘hm. no i dont think i will’

he then proceeded to drive them insane by immediately teaching the handshake to everyone he knew. aang? knew it. katara? knew it. mai and ty lee? knew it. every single one of his ministers knew it. the kyoshi warriors knew it (and wouldn’t tell suki). hakoda knew it. iroh knew it. that random regular visitor to iroh’s tea shop knew it.

sokka and suki gave up on ever learning the handshake. exactly one (1) day later zuko and sokka were playing their own modified version of pai sho with suki watching them and then zuko just casually went ‘so now that you’ve given up do you want to learn the handshake’

sokka and suki went FERAL and suki flipped the board

sokka: HOW DID YOU KNOW WE GAVE UP

also sokka, exactly 0.02 seconds later: also yes please teach us the handshake sifu hotman

the handshake is the stupidest most needlessly-complicated thing in the world but they learn it anyway and they don’t stop using it for approximately a month

and oh did i not mention that they made their own version of pai sho? they call it die sho and it features 16 homemade tiles and a set of rules that only suki understands. one game can last anywhere from 2 minutes to 2 days

they once wrote a book together under the pseudonym Wang Kyo-Lee. The book was a 500-page rant about plant husbandry. it became a bestseller in the earth kingdom.

they also once did a role swap for a day. zuko dressed up as a kyoshi warrior/the fire lord’s elite guard (complete with makeup to hide his scar), sokka was acting fire lord, and suki was his water tribe ambassador. that was how they discovered that they worked together so much that their jobs were literally interchangeable

there are rumours that the three of them are involved in a poly relationship. when asked, none of them will give a definitive answer

sometimes they’ll just go on holiday to some random obscure place without telling anyone and come back four days later with a frog, three new swords, a crate of theatre props and a valuable compilation of historical accounts that’s been lost for over a century

the most memorable thing they ever brought back was druk, aka a literal dragon

out of the three of them, suki makes the best tea. however, she’s also the worst cook

sokka learnt how to knit and promptly made them matching scarves. the scarves were ugly af but suki and zuko wore them anyway

when zuko overworks himself sokka and suki will literally manhandle him away from his desk and into his chambers, all while lecturing him as he nods sleepily and dozes on his feet

when suki overworks herself sokka and zuko will bring her tea and wrap her in blankets until she eventually falls asleep

when sokka overworks himself suki and zuko will drag him out somewhere under the open air and just sit with him until he relaxes and falls asleep on one or both of them

they have a running joke where suki and zuko will, in the middle of a discussion, go ‘GODS you remind me of this one guy i met while i was travelling’ and then proceed to describe sokka until he realises they’re talking about him

they all have a very dark sarcastic sense of humour that can honestly be alarming to anyone who doesn’t know them. mai thinks it’s hilarious

suki knows how to juggle. she tries to teach sokka and zuko and they both fail miserably

sokka takes them ice-dodging. sokka (once again) earns the mark of the wise. suki earns the mark of the brave. zuko earns the mark of the trusted.

(does zuko earning the mark of the trusted make him cry? perhaps)

hakoda takes one look at suki and zuko and immediately goes ‘oh ok youre my children now’

zuko can handle himself pretty well in the cold (breath of fire, remember?) but that doesn’t mean he likes it. sokka and suki constantly tease him about it whenever they visit the south pole

zuko once startled suki while she was sleeping and she accidentally chi blocked him. sokka laughed until he cried

they 100% have heated debates about super niche topics

anyway they’re all bffs who may or may not be dating each other send tweet

#atla #headcanons #sokka #zuko #suki #zukki #platonic zukki #zukka #sukka

3K notes · View notes

rebellionbeach · 3 years

Text

Ranking All JR/SIH Couples by Combined Brain Power

1) Mistake: This seemed pretty obvious to me. Isaka is seen to bring Marukawa out from the dumps and make his way up the corporate latter with little to no help. Asahina is of course a very competent worker who seems to be a workaholic. Combined, they definitely could take over the world but instead they decide to keep on publishing their silly novels.

2) Egoist: From here I’m just guessing but knowing that Nowaki is a doctor in training and Hiroki is a classical Japanese literature professor, they’re pretty damn smart. They’re both extremely capable workers who put everything into their occupations (despite bordering on sadism) and I think they could probably overthrow the government if they needed to.

3) Terrorist: Shinobu is kind of a genius (though it’s often glanced over) and not only that but they’re both kind of bilingual! Yeah, Miyagi speaking his funny English counts as fluent in my eyes. Shinobu is actually majoring in law if I’m no mistaken (like some other author) and Miyagi is passionate about classical Japanese literature and trust me, that shit ain’t easy. (what’s with Nakamura and classical Japanese literature professors?)

4) Nostalgia: Ritsu is pretty smart ya know! Plus, pretty sure Takano is a smart cookie despite being stupid in most of SIH. Even though they lack basic communication techniques, I think once they learn to properly talk like adults that they could probably understand Rick and Morty!

5) Trifecta: They’re both responsible adults who have long experiences in their respective work fields. I appreciate how grounded Trifecta is because they’re basically dads and even if they don’t have a specific niche or not being geniuses they’re still much better than some of the other couples.

6) Erotica: I think that I don’t know that much about Kisa and Yukina. Well, they are both reasonable adults but there is nothing really that remarkable either. I think that what’s funny is how many assumptions they make in their relationships like they’re very emotionally powered by their actions. Yukina is very....violently prone at many times (trying to punch Kisa’s older brother)

7) Sentiment: Honestly, I’m not really that sure because I’m not too familiar with Ijuuin and Yanase’s characters. I’m putting them above the rest because of this though Ijuuin is definitely a dummy no matter what.

8) Romantica: HAHAHAHA THEY ARE DUMMIES!!!! Well, I was originally going to put them on the bottom but honestly Akihiko is kind of smart in his own ways and we’re supposed to be talking about more book smarts. Misaki is....nice. You know, the whole Romantica story was created because Misaki was getting 30s on his practice tests I mean a 30 idk.... OKAY, maybe he isn’t the sharpest cookie but he isn’t the dumbest character....actually he might be. I think the purpose of Misaki’s character is that he leans more on street smarts while Akihiko is the absolute opposite maybe? But at the same time there are some highlights that I’d like to make. First his whole relationship with Sumi is super funny because he’s just hearing Sumi talking about how he reads all of Akihiko’s works and Misaki is just like ‘damn why do you read them if you hate them’ like it wasn’t obvious that he had a thing for a him. It’s kind of funny because it’s kind of similar to his older brother in that way, they’re both kind of oblivious at times though Misaki is definitely MUCH more emotionally aware (maybe a little too emotionally aware at times)

9) Domestica: Their relationship reminds me more of a mother-son relationship and ngl it sometimes creeps me out. Like I know that Chiaki is supposed to be like Akihiko and shit but he’s kind of a dummy plus Hatori ain’t that bright either I mean, he’s not really remarkable in any way. (i’m sorry domestica fans i don’t hate them but i’m just not the biggest fan either)

#junjou romantica #sekaiichi hatsukoi #sorry!!! i made this in 5 minutes #i just wanted to talk about how i thought misaki and akihiko were kind of dummies

59 notes · View notes

taejinfmd-archived · 3 years

Photo

HELLO / INTRO

hyeri here, and i’m in est — for now, it’s always subject to change so forewarning! anyways, here to re-introduce a younger, less-haggier taejin who is now in titan. tldr; he’s changed into a bit of a fckboy, so take it as is :~) more info under the cut. give this a like and i’ll come your way, or just reach me at dscd: 그래! 이혜리다 임마! 이또라이!#8051 links — profile / biography / plot ideas

background

taejin’s your resident chaebol — only, he’s hidden from the public and nobody really knows his backstory. his parents are really famous big names in korea’s economy, and he has a brother that is also known because his older brother has taken the family business into his hands. taejin, on the other hand, was one of those ‘surprise’ babies, happening 10+ years after his brother. as a result, the family kept him low key and taejin’s background history has been relatively mysterious to fans / general public

he’s basically small-brained, lmao. he’s stupid, really stupid. so, he has no book smarts in him, which lead his family to know obviously, you can’t hand taejin a company even with a field of super qualified advisors. as a result, they decided taejin would shine best as a celebrity, and that’s why he was added to bc’s roster of trainees in 2008.

taejin didn’t mind it? especially because he had a natural knack for singing, and rapping in bc standards was just easy to pick up. plus, it beat school where he had to memorize random facts and learn math, he was able to do what he wanted to do. aka: go to the dermatologist, learn how to work a camera and sing all day. the worst part about trainee life was probably leaving his lux house for the titan dorms

surprise, taejin debuts in 2011. it’s not really a surprise because taejin always had the thought in the back of his mind that he would debut, regardless of his talents or not (obvs, connections rather than his sheer talent set). but anyways, taejin debuts and he likes titan — not the members, but the general concept of being an idol.

people like taejin, and taejin likes the attention. he’s expected to look pretty on stage, and live this life of luxury — where he gets, minus the busy schedules. that he can manage if it means being praised.

his fan base is predominately female / female presenting because early on, bc put him into the ‘boyfriend’ mold. aka, he’s handsome, knows how to say the right things and always presents it for the fans. that to say, he’s good at fan service and pretending like he really cares about what the fans have to say, and thus that established him early on with a pretty good fan base / akgae base.

bc decided to put him into acting because he had an acting face and titan already had three main vocals, so what was the point in giving taejin a solo debut? so, they put him into his first role where he’s the ‘noona’ lover, and that makes a big hit with the public. enough, that people start to recognize taejin as a good idol-actor rather than something bc pushes.

this after many roles, leaves him into doing more of a wide-range early on. he gets a lot of clout for it? to where now the general public sees taejin more of an actor first, oh and he’s an idol. kind of like how yoona is seen more as an actress even though her name’s closely tied with gg. nonetheless, he does really well in his roles — enough to get him global success with parasite. this is where his fan base really peaked, and bc decided well, we’re not giving you edgy or niche roles anymore. you have no freedom because you’re playing the boyfriend role. hence, he’s stagnated at the moment.

personality

this non-hag taejin is a piece of shit. let me forewarn, he doesn’t care about being the good hoobae, nor does he care about extending a ‘you did well’ to everyone that comes his way. however, that is his public image and idols that have never met taejin face to face and held a conversation for longer than thirty minutes are prone to that illusion.

however, when you really reveal taejin, you get a jeckyl / hyde effect. he’s really ruthless back stage in the ‘i don’t give a f about you or who you are’ type ish. big headed in the sense he thinks his success reigns over yours, and thinks he’s far above idol life still. he’s an ~actor~ how, refer to him as ~kim taejin~ not ~taejin~. as a result, he remains relatively detached from other idols around him.

titan — he really doesn’t have any opinion on the group. yes, it’s annoying to have to go to each and every schedule bc signs them up for because they’re this big selling group. however, that doesn’t mean he’d d word for titan. if anything, they were a stepping stone to his career. nothing more, nothing less. and because titan gave him some base, he owes it to just continue doing the bare minimum on stage (aka, he sucks on stage.)

in terms of friendships? he’s that friend that might use you, or pull in when you most need it. it depends what kind of dynamic there are — unless, he considers you tight, he’ll only use you to his advantage? and he has no problems with that

in terms of relationship? he’s the guy that’s too lazy to break up with you, so instead he’ll just ghost you till you assume the relationship is over or the type not to commit and use the card “it’s not u, it’s me” and it’s really an excuse to smash other people while stringing you along

he does everything he can to maintain a perfect camera image — it’s a promise to his family, and the fact that it just feels nice to get away with everything behind the scenes while having a harem of people praising everything you do.

aka: he’s not a good guy this time around, but who knows maybe that’s subject to change at some point or another.

plots

referenced here plot ideas

#famedintro

8 notes · View notes

palukoo · 3 years

Note

tww teacher au for the ask game!

combining this with another ask from anon: tww academia au!! bc i was gonna make this college anyways bc most of them are too pretentious to work at a high school even if they are passionate about education

jed was the chair of the economics department for a really long time (including when some of the staff went to whatever made up school i'm having them be a part of) and would be like. kind of a polarizing figure on ratemyprofessors. his classes are generally engaging and you learn a lot, but the lecture is on externalities and he's been talking about national parks for the last twenty minutes. he also tends to run late, and his class isn't easy, but he has tons of office hours and writes great recommendations. he would generally teach like a freshman/intro course for fun (maybe intro to macro?) and then one or two advanced classes. for like, some structure, these days he's probably the president of the college/uni, but maybe he just. let's himself teach a random class every semester anyways, because he misses it. (if he occasionally hijacks the american studies or theology department, who is gonna stop him? usually its like. history of the global economy or something tho)

leo is probably like the provost or dean or whatever in charge of faculty or something. if he teaches, which he probably has at some point but idk if he still does, it's probably some foreign affairs class. like international security or something.

abbey is probably the chair of their pre-med program or like the director of their (science) research programs. there's probably someone calling it nepotism at some point, until everyone points out she's had this job since before jed was president, so. checkmate. she'll rotate between a few different classes, probably like. an anatomy at some point, but for some reason i really like the concept of her doing some molec cell or biochem (def more on the cellular side of things as opposed to ecology, and also less genetics, so. but maybe more public health). a lot of students are kind of afraid of her but tons of people apply to work in her lab, and she really loves her lab students so much.

cj could do like. media/publicity for the school, like that's a job she could easily have, but i kinda want them all to actually. teach, so she probably teaches some form of media studies/communication studies/journalism. students love her, because she's funny and smart and energetic in class, and compassionate about extensions and whatever. she takes her job super seriously, and wants to give everyone the best chance she can. she'll like, practice in her lecture hall ahead of time.

toby i can't decide on. you would think some form of writing or communications class, but i want to give him like. a bunch of classes cross listed as like sociology and political science and philosophy and american studies. like he'll teach like political ethics, or classes about civil rights, or literature about specific political movements. he assigns like no tests and all papers and grades them like. harshly, but the students who really come in and try, he loves and will work with. realistically he should probably be chair of a department but idk which one.

josh teaches a bunch of political classes and his students all make fun of him, thank you. like he'll teach classes on legislative processes, and he's like not a bad professor and clearly knows what he's talking about, but he also comes in with coffee stains and messy hair and his chair breaks weekly and he and his projector are in the middle of an ongoing war that they all know he isn't winning. he (like cj) really wants his students to like him, and they mostly do. his lectures can also get a little tangenty, but that's okay. he should also probably head a department, i guess political science, but rip to all those other profs.

donna ta-ed for josh at some point when he was still really new at it, and was probably going to do political science but also maybe english, who knows, in grad school, but ended up spending a summer working in the admissions office and actually really loved it, so she did admissions for a while until she got too depressed rejecting students, and now she does some form of academic counselling and everyone loves her, and she absolutely will fight professors on behalf of students

sam also does some niche cross listed humanities classes, like he'll do literature & law, or american lit and culture. he does a ton of pre law advising also!

amy! amy is probably chair of the gender/sexuality/women's studies department bc i say so. she mostly teaches more gov focused classes, though, like women and the law, or women in leadership, or sexuality in america. she's also kind of harsh on grading, but she's super good at helping students make connections for their careers and shit.

joey teaches polling/stats and political polling classes thank you.

half of them are known for writing those papers that are clearly part of a huge academic disagreement where they're just criticizing other people's papers. usually at different schools, but not always. interdepartmental/humanities prof gatherings are fun!

#tww #asks #answered #claudiasjeancregg #anonymous #there's other characters and other thoughts to be had but gsws amy is everything to me #anyways i looked through my schools entire course catalogue for this and it shows. made me realize how many classes i wanna take but cant #also my school doesnt call it political science and i kept having to change it here #but yeah! i like the thought of charlie as jeds ta also but idk how to make that work if jed is the president #hmmm maybe santos is the provost. or becomes pres to led jed go back to teaching more full time? will and elsie both teach writing classes #kate does foreign policy. ainsley maybe also does pre law stuff or if they have a law school works there #i realize they could also have a med school that abbey could run lol #none of the bartlet daughters go to this school much to jeds dismay #lord marbury is an adjunct prof who no one can stand #ill stop now #also i didnt do character tags bc too many #oh wait maybe annabeth doesnt teach and actually does university comms and as part of like a marketting campaign is trying to do cool #profiles on some of the profs and they mostly cant stand it but yk #ANDY how did i not do andy!! andy would. also teach some kind of foreign affairs/diplomacy thing or like legislative processes. maybe #josh can take a class on the executive instead or something. ugh or andy could do something with their hypothetical law school #she's on like ethics judicial and foreign affairs in canon iirc so. idk!#cj probably also had some overlap and does like women in the media at some point just for fun

3 notes · View notes

aforrestofstuff · 4 years

Note

What type of kid do you think the OPM characters were at school? I know not all of them went to school, but what if....

Thanks for the request anon! I’ve basically just written a handy-dandy little high school au for y’all lmfao.

OPM Characters in High School

Tornado of Terror: Absolutely 0 respect for authority. She’s tiny, but she can fucking fight and everyone knows it. For that reason, she’s feared and avoided at all costs. She often feels lonely because of this and finds it hard to make new friends, but she’d rather go through high school suffering alone before she dare let anyone get close.

Silverfang: Tries to recruit his peers into this little club he’s made where he tries to teach martial arts but the only kid that joins is this little shit named Charanko that doesn’t really care at all about what’s being taught. He’s really reliable in group projects and is overall a good student, albeit a little wise beyond his years.

Atomic Samurai: The kid that drinks alcohol under the bleachers during transition periods. He fails almost every class except one. However, in that one class, he is an absolute genius. His talents are few and niche but he really soars when given the chance to embrace his full potential. He’s really dogmatic and almost rude at times, but he’s managed to get himself a small group of friends that are keen on following him ‘till the end.

Child Emperor: Prodigy student. Straight A’s, extracurriculars, extra credit, you name it. He aces it all. Everyone wants to get a peek at his homework and he obliges kindly almost all of the time out of pure politeness. He’s also in marching band because he gets a thrill out of dooting a trumpet (is that an instrument in band? I can’t fucking remember). Overall, he’s very well-liked, although not respected. People kind of walk all over him because they know he’s all-too-eager to lend a helping hand.

Metal Knight: Polar opposite to Child Emperor. He’s a prodigy student as well, but he will NEVER lend a helping hand to anyone. If you’re paired with him in a group project, he’ll just brush you off and do the whole thing himself because he doesn’t trust anyone else with his grade. Teachers get pissed off at him because he’s always correcting them during class. He pushes people around and treats his peers as if they were lesser than him based solely on their intelligence, and thus doesn’t have many (if any) friends.

King: Doesn’t study at all but still gets A’s somehow. He’s got the teachers fooled thinking he’s some sort of prodigy kid, when really he just finds ways to copy off of other people’s work. He’s got a PSP under the table at all times during lectures and sits alone during lunch. People think he’s mysterious and cool but he’s really just an anxious kid trying to get by.

Zombieman: The cool, mysterious kid that skips class and smokes outside. The teachers don’t mind him because he doesn’t cause any trouble. He’s only got a handful of friends, one of those being Child Emperor (whom he’s really close to) and people think he’s just trying to cheese himself out of a failing grade by copying off of CE when he’s really fine all on his own. He’s surprisingly smart and quick-witted, just not in the way that report cards show. Still though, he passes with solid Bs and Cs.

Drive Knight: Set the school on fire once. Blackmailed a principal on the basis that they were having an affair and threatened to release this information unless they extended lunch period. Studies hard and gets good grades only to compete with Metal Knight. Their rivalry is well-known in school and everyone thinks it’s just a joke but Drive Knight is dead serious.

Pig God: The lunch ladies have second servings ready the minute he walks into the cafeteria because they know he eats like a horse. He doesn’t say shit in class and is overall just really quiet and shy. People bully him because he’s the fat kid with no social skills, but he’s really nice to the few friends that he has. Teachers either pity him or join the bullies in picking on him. It’s kind of sad.

Superalloy Darkshine: Football jock. He’s a little dumb but he’s actually the sweetest person ever. People often try to take advantage of him because he’s always ready to help, but he’s got a lot of friends that warn him when that happens. He’s overall just the most supportive, warm-hearted, social butterfly in school and he brightens up every room he walks in to. Nobody dislikes him. The coaches all put their faith in him during the season and he always delivers with winning scores (I don’t know shit about football lol).

Watchdog Man: Does absolutely buttfuck nothing in school. He only does the bare minimum. Like, he’s so close to flunking out that he’s among the bottom 1% in the student body. Still, somehow, he always pulls through just before finals and comes out with a barely passing grade. Every. Single. Year. He has no friends, doesn’t talk to anyone, and never raises his hand in class. People wonder if he’s actually a student or a ghost that wandered in.

Flashy Flash: Track star. Fastest kid this side of the fuckin continent. He put the school on the map by winning so many championships. He’s ridiculously handsome and has a lot of secret admirers too, but he ignores all of that to focus on sports. Even the teachers kiss his ass because he’s kind of a legend. Although everyone wants to be his friend, however, he’s actually quite the loner. He spends his down time during school hours running on the track or sitting alone to read a good book.

Genos: Teacher’s pet. Absolute ass-kisser. He tries his absolute best to study and never wastes a single second not having his nose in a textbook but still only manages to get Bs. It frustrates the living hell out of him. He’s adopted a lot of unhealthy ways to stay awake during the school day because he spends all night going above and beyond on homework, like drinking a full pot of coffee or smuggling energy drinks into class. He follows Saitama around because he wants to learn the secret to getting good grades without actually trying.

Metal Bat: He’s intimidating and mean-looking. Upon first glance, you might think he was a bully but it’s actually the other way around. He doesn’t tolerate bullshit like that while he’s in the vicinity and is not afraid to cuss anyone out should they ever pick on another student, teachers included. He’s been reprimanded so many times for that exact reason and has gotten a plaque in the principal’s office for breaking the district record. He’s a pretty shit student, but it’s not because he’s dumb. He’s actually pretty witty, but due to his terrible dyslexia and devotion to his little sister, his grades have suffered.

Tanktop Master: Best friends with Superalloy. Together, they carry the football scene for the entire school. He’s a bit smarter and quieter, but he’s just as nice. He aces all of his classes and is the sole reason Superalloy isn’t failing because he allows this dumbass to copy his work. He has a crazy amount of secret admirers but disregards them to hang out with his homies on the football team instead (and he always wears tanktops to school lol).

Puri-Puri Prisoner: Theater kid with such a drastic flair for the dramatic that people have actually gotten hurt trying to act out his ridiculous ideas. He’s super huge for his age and people often mistake him as a teacher. He’s one of those kids that have a full-grown beard at age 17 and he doesn’t quite know how to take care of it or shave properly yet so it’s kind of gross and patchy. Also, he’s the resident gay kid. It’s embarrassing.

Amai Mask: Also a theater kid but he’s way better at it. On top of that, he’s a choir star. Whenever there’s an opening for a solo, it always goes to him. There’s an ongoing conspiracy that all of his teachers pick him as favorite despite him being a bit of a dick at times but it’s still up in the air. He’s ridiculously attractive and has an outrageous amount of secret admirers, but he actually makes an effort to humor them and “entertain the crowd”. He’s still single, however, and devotes all of his time to mastering his craft in the ✨fine arts✨ (and singing. Idk if that counts as a ✨fine art✨ but whatever).

Iaian: Kamikaze’s best friend. They do everything together. He’s a bit of a doormat, though. He’s always seen carrying Kami’s books or doing his homework. Despite all that, he still manages to maintain an A-B average. He’s very studious and studies hard while participating in sports, despite only having one arm. The other kids would bully him for it but nobody wants to be known as the dick that picks on a disabled person (and rightfully so. Shit’s fucked up). He’s pretty quiet, serious, and mostly keeps to himself. Teachers always trust him to turn his work in on time and set an example for the rest of the class.

Okamaitachi: Another one of Kami’s best friends. She doesn’t fall for his bullshit though. She’s always seen in ridiculously fashionable outfits and holds a separate bag just to carry her extra change of clothes (in addition to her gym outfit). She always looks her best and does her best, super high energy 24/7. She’s a social butterfly and makes friends easily, especially while doing theater. She’s not as exceptional as Amai Mask, but she’s still talented in her own right.

Bushidrill: Yet another best friend of Kami’s. He also doesn’t fall for his bullshit. Bushi is another one of those kids that has a full beard at age 17, but he actually knows how to take care of it. He’s weirdly wise beyond his years and is everyone’s go-to for advice when they find themselves in a bad situation. He drinks illegally as well but keeps it a secret because he’s not an idiot (unlike Kami). Overall, he just keeps to himself and minds his own damn business despite knowing everyone’s drama.

Fubuki: Networking queen. She was voted “most likely to be a CEO” in the school yearbook. She’s head of the student body and negotiates like a pro. She’ll organize events and get good grades all while still managing to find the time to hang out with her friends outside of school. She’s always go go go 24/7. Nobody knows her and Tatsu are sisters, though. She doesn’t go out of her way to keep it a secret, but she would feel pretty terrible if people found out because she doesn’t want to be compared with anyone else.

Saitama: Does buttfuck nothing in class and never studies but still gets As anyways because he remembers all of the material effortlessly. I’ve said this before in a previous hc, but he was one of those insanely gifted kids that never developed a work ethic because he’s never had to struggle to get by academic-wise. He minds his own damn business and stays out of everyone’s shit but still manages to get caught up in a ton of drama somehow. He shares his lunches with Genos because Genos often forgets to eat. Fubuki has tries to recruit him into student government but he refuses each time. All in all, just an average kid that is always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Mumen Rider: Studies hard, is a teacher’s pet, and gets perfect grades. His mom packs him really nice, healthy lunches and she leaves little love notes in there so he knows he’s got a good family waiting for him back home. The reason for that being, he gets bullied a lot. There’s no real reason why. He’s a nice kid and there’s nothing wrong with him, but a lot of his peers see him as an easy target because he’s scrawny and wimpy. He does have a handful of friends though. One of those being Saitama, who stands up to those bullies on behalf of Mumen.

Sonic: Wild card. He’s also on the track team and it’s just as good as Flash. They’re rivals and everyone knows it. He and Flash were childhood best friends until they drifted apart sometime before junior high, only to meet again while doing sports at the beginning of freshman year. Coaches often pit them against each other because it’s fun to watch the top two go at it. Academic-wise, he sucks. He’s the dumbest motherfucker in all of his classes and manages to get by solely because he uses his status as track star to get everyone to let him copy their work.

Garou: Another wild card. Teachers absolutely hate him. He’s loud-mouthed, awkward, and doesn’t really fit in. He has a lot of interests and wishes to get into some extracurriculars or clubs but he’s too worried about getting bullied. Like Mumen, there’s nothing really wrong with him. He’s not a dick for no reason, but people just see him as an easy target somehow and decide to pick on him relentlessly. He and Silverfang were once friends, but Silverfang betrayed him sometime before the start of the new year. His grades are atrocious because he can’t focus during class. Someone help this boy.

139 notes · View notes

catubarca · 4 years

Text

Harry Potter Next Generation Headcanons

im bored. im full of emotions, and am rly missing the HP world... i just want to write down my headcannons for the next gen kiddos tbh.

please remember these are just my opinions? its okay if yours are different. im just bored and want to share my thoughts,,

Teddy Lupin

his name is Theodore Remus “Teddy” Lupin. it’s just what it is

I don’t care what JKR says, to me his name will always be Theodore

i can’t do this “Edward” stuff im so sorry,,,

h u f f l e p u f f

proper school uniform? never heard of it

messy hair, messy clothes

punk rock child

we’re talking like,,,at least two (2) lip piercings ok

absolutely terrible in herbology. do not leave this child alone in a greenhouse, bad things happen

fuckin hoards chocolate

its a problem

dating Victorie Weasley

random bursts of dancing

keeps a lock of hair pink for his mother

lives with the Potters, enjoys pretending to be Ginny to ground his siblings

“Lily, why aren’t you coming out of your room? Dinner’s ready?” “You said I’m grounded! You tell me!” “What? Oh, for the- THEODORE REMUS LUPIN-“

s m i r k s

effortlessly cool,,, but so so dorky,,, in a cool way

Victorie Weasley

ravenclaw!

looks a lot like her mother, Fleur, but inherited those Weasley freckles

a little confused a lot of the time

absolute sweet tooth (teddy abuses this fact a lot)

Mom Friend™

will help you with your homework

always got a book on her

super beautiful and like,,,, the absolute nicest person,,, but

cannot dance

like at all

adores Charms class

a softie you don’t want to cross

“I’m the oldest”

Dominique Weasley

inherited the Classic Weasley Red Hair™

idolises her Uncle Charlie

“I wanna save animals and work with cool dragons, just like Uncle Charlie does!”

Bill almost has a heart attack

always bringing stray animals home

(“is that a lizard in your pocket, Dominique?” “Yes! His name is Blob.” “You know how your father’s afraid of reptiles, sweetheart, you can’t bring it inside.”)

Gryffindor child

favourite class is definitely Care of Magical Creatures, she and Hagrid like to talk about proper care methods for rare creatures

perpetual dirt stains

BIG middle child vibes

doesn’t really label her sexuality… just kinda does what she wants rly

all the pets in Hogwarts love her

rumours are she’s got an innate, natural magical ability to make them all love her

(she feeds them under the table)

it’s a mystery

big advocate for animal rights

f e m i n i s t

willing to throw hands at all times

usually all smiles though

one of those people who use their whole bodies to laugh

kind of an accidental heartthrob

romcoms

Louis Weasley

looks the most like his mother

ravenclaw

absolutely filled with curiosity. always reading or talking or learning

random facts

(how do you even find that sort of information?

you don’t want to know)

coffee boy

sort of musically talented?

he and James Sirius preach the importance of skincare to all who will listen

secretly full of sass and dry wit

vry graceful and fluid

e y e r o l l

awkward smiles? can never smile properly in photos

on the ravenclaw quidditch team

Ravenclaw Prefect

(“You might be older, but I’m taller.” “Fuck off!”)

only watches High Quality™ tv shows/media

kind of a disaster, despite the gracefulness

Molly Weasley

Classic red hair

comes across as a bit uptight, like her father

I don’t care what you think. (She really cares what you think.)

E y e b r o w s

death glares

drinks like 5 cups of coffee in the morning

studies,,, like a lot

definitely a Gryffindor though

mom jeans

always ready to debate a topic. will destroy opponents.

has been trying to start a successful Debate Club for like 4 years now

naturally falls into the position of a group leader

would be a teacher’s pet, if she wasn’t ready At All Times™ to debate the relevancy of the course syllabus or outdated teaching methods

got into a fight with Severus Snape’s portrait in Headmistress McGonagall’s office.

(Dumbledore’s portrait was laughing, until she turned and ragged on him for a bit. Minerva thought it was absolutely hilarious, so she just let Molly go at it for a while).

full of rage towards everything, but wears a very careful mask of aloofness

to calm down, she likes painting her nails

she’s very good at it

she’s also very good at painting and art in general, weirdly enough

Lucy Weasley

G R Y F F I N D O R

adores shitty puns and has a terrible sense of humour

brown hair, not red

loves to prank people, which makes her Uncle George very proud

Percy complains about her behaviour, but makes sure he knows he’s proud too

(charming all the cauldrons in the potions classroom to scream whenever they’re stirred takes a more complex understanding of spell work than one would expect).

a pit of a punk streak

rly loves hip hop

high key drama queen

does she ever stop yelling? we’re yet to find out

average grades in terms of theory, but she’s the best in terms of applying information

especially for her pranks

has allies throughout the castle, from the portraits to the students

the bigger the prank, the better

but is a firm believer in “confuse, don’t abuse”

all her pranks are mostly harmless

is a surprising lover of older literature, like Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, an influence of her sister

a bit rebellious

Fred Weasley II

name isn’t officially “the second”, but it sounds cooler

James Potter, Lucy Weasley, Molly Weasley and Fred Weasley are like the Marauders 2.0

says “squad” and “lit” unironically

niche humour

hipster vibes

avid music lover

smiley sunshine child

takes after his mother the most in looks, just like his sister

a chill type of gryffindor

plays quidditch, and is an excellent chaser, just like his mother

the absolute undisputed King™ of puppy-dog eyes

just,,,, beautiful

the True teacher’s pet

hands in his work on time,, asks lots of questions,,, likes helping students understand their work,, what a boy

can hella nyoom

runs so fast

look at him go

as you might expect, loves a good prank. always down for a laugh

Roxanne Weasley

Gryffindor and pROUD

absolute Queen tbh

was definitely Head Prefect or Gryffindor Prefect at some point

loved by the school

absolute legend

G I R L P O W E R

infectious laughter

has a soft spot for Louis Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy

these poor disaster children,,,, they need a Mother

M O M

big mom vibes

mothers the hell out of all the first years

a feminist through and through

can be found nodding aggressively to Molly Weasley’s semi-deranged, furious ranting

YAAAASS

loves slang. uses so much slang. always up to date with trends and memes

has all the gossip

becomes a mess around pretty girls

absolute blushing, stuttering disaster around cute girls oh my god

her eye make-up game is killer

sparkly

Distinguished Lesbian

Rosie Weasley

did someone say Weasley™?

red hair and freckles and curls oh my

on the autism spectrum, has trouble socialising sometimes

hella passionate about stuff

hangs out with Scorpius and Albus, the Golden Trio 2.0

f em ini st

her jokes are the best. high quality sense of humour.

Ravenclaw

likes to read. it’s quiet in the school library, which is nice.

abysmal at herbology

surprisingly good at Care of Magical Creatures though? Animals are just,,, so much easier to deal with

overall, really good grades though

bit of a silent type, but she’s actually a riot to hang out with

actually pretty good at quidditch? She’s not on the team, and she’s not super interested in playing, but?? She’s not bad??

She can land a solid hit with a beater’s bat

(eyes you judgementally over the top of a book)

dry wit humour

will throw hands over chess

Hugo Weasley

hufflepuff

unbeatable at chess, like his dad

a lost puppy

someone please help this child

softie

kind of low-key emotional

so supportive!! and loyal!! high-key best friend material

foodie. loves food. please feed him.

takes a bit more after his dad appearance wise

loves to cook. spends lots of time with grandma Molly and his dad in the kitchen

Professor Longbottom is his favourite professor, because he’s more chilled and laidback.

other professors and classes fill him with Distress™

loves astronomy too

maths whizz, so good at arithmancy

(“uh, actually-“)

a little bossy, like his mother

is trying so hard

maybe a little too hard

a bit insecure and nervous, but so soft

please treat this child carefully and with love

James Sirius Potter

Gryffindor

L O U D

a fucking disaster child

what’d you expect, putting “James” and “Sirius” together?

DRAMATIC GASPING

flails his hands around when he talks

s t r u t s

bisexual mess, had a crush on both the Longbottom children at some point

is better than you at everything

including being a different gender

fuck you that’s why

so pretty

he’s so pretty

is thIS CHILD EVER NOT LAUGHING AT SOMETHING OH My god

laughs at everything

all the time

always

high-key emotional

badly timed finger guns

looks like a model in photos? wtf?

gets invited to Girls Nights™

wears nail polish and makeup

loves to yell at people about gender roles and defying stereotypes

TEA SIS

not on the quidditch team surprisingly enough, even though he’s pretty good

prefers to be in the stands, doing A+ commentary on the games

if he can get Fred to stop mid-air due to unbearable, suffocating laughter at least once a game it’s a win in his books

has it OUT for the hufflepuff quidditch team and no one knows why??

definitely makes puns on his name

it drives everyone insane

harry always replies he’s just making his namesake proud

that also drives everyone insane

smug lil shit

Albus Severus Potter

“It’s just Al.”

S L Y T H E R I N

will always find a way to get what he wants, eventually

“dad, why did you name me this way?”

unimpressed

sigh

hella smart. is topping at least five classes

Aunt Hermione is his favourite. She’s the fucking Mistress of Magic! All that power, the ability to make change and improve the Magical World as a whole-

sass master

the reason headmistress mcgonagall keeps a bottle of scotch under her desk at all times

the only potter child to inherit The Eyes™

absolute insomniac

kind of emo, but turns into a fucking softie around Scorpius Malfoy it’s hilarious

adverse to violence. prefers a verbal beatdown method

really tall? despite having shorties for parents??? no one saw it coming

(especially not Teddy. He’s always scared of losing his last few inches of height)

Functional Gay

he’s on the slytherin quidditch team, as a seeker

Lily Luna Potter

Gryffindor

FEMINIST

do not mess with lily luna potter

she may seem cute and sweet, but she will destroy you

inherited her father’s black hair

disaster lesbian

transfiguration is her favourite subject, by far

has no idea what she wants to do with the rest of her life.

Existential Crisis Father-Daughter Bonding Time™

do you ever sleep?

takes after Ginny the most in personality

also, kind of the most like James Fleamont Potter in personality, too?

Loves to help her brother out with pranks, laughs at him when he gets caught and she gets away with it

The only one of the Potter Children who hasn’t got into a fight with Severus Snape’s portrait

because she just ignores him instead

loves talking to the portraits around the castle

Super good at Quidditch, is on the team as a Chaser

Quidditch Captain at some point

adores Hagrid, but who out of the Potter children doesn’t?

Idolises Minerva McGonagall

just as oblivious as her father

Scorpius Malfoy

Actually in Ravenclaw, not Slytherin, much to many people’s surprise

abSOLUTE DADDY’S BOY

super close with his dad

Draco is just so supportive of like everything he does (unlike his father)

classic blonde malfoy looks

actually really funny?

a cuddler. loves hugs. always leeching warmth off of someone

he and Rosie sometimes finger-tip-touch which is their version of a hug, because he know’s she’s not super comfortable with touch

was basically adopted by the Weasley’s and Potter’s

James Sirius will murder for this child

booknerd, always rambling to Al and Rosie about new books coming out he’s interested in reading.

has had a crush on Albus Potter since like 1st year

always worried about making his dad proud, and keeping up the Malfoy name

sweet tooth

he’s just,, soft. just a warm, happy child. he wants love, and affection. someone tell him he’s doing okay, please.

needs,,, validation,,,

he’ll tell you out loud that he has no favourite aunts or uncles, but he secretly really likes spending time with his Uncle Ron

they had a talk, once, in like the middle of the night at a sleepover with Rosie and Al, about feeling insecure in comparison to others, and learning to be proud of yourself for your achievements

there were a few tears, but it was nice

Ron was actually the third person he told, besides his dad and Rosie, about having a crush on Al

openly a disaster romantic. trash taste in romance novels.

always welcome in the Potter-Weasley households

161 notes · View notes

oh-phineas · 3 years

Photo

Emma’s 2020 Questionnaire!

Your Name: Emma Characters: Phineas Flynn, Tiana Truitt, Aquata Triton, Henry Charming, Evelyn Deavor Pick one of your characters and talk about their growth (we recommend choosing an older character, but it’s up to you!) What about their story has surprised you? What are you proud of? How have they changed from their original inception to now? I’m going to talk about Phineas because I’ve had him for the longest and I think he’s the one I’ve been able to spend the most time developing. So basically something I struggled with when I first picked up Phineas was how he deals with people he doesn’t like, because in the show I don’t think he really dislikes anyone. And I feel like this drama with Tony recently has finally helped me crack what Phineas’s deal is when it comes to conflict-- he doesn’t really feel down about it unless he feels like his character is being questioned, and that’s why with Wilbur he’s mostly like whatever while with Tony and Lock (in the past) Phineas has gotten petty and vindictive-- he doesn’t like the role he’s found himself in and he takes that personally if that makes sense. (Also Phineas just way prioritizes his job with Cornelius over getting back at Wilbur, even if he’ll make the occasional jab at Wilbur in Among Us or on Twitter). So that’s been really cool to explore. And I think he’s also gotten a little less finance-bro-y than I originally intended, but I think that side of him will definitely come out once he graduates and goes to uni. I think the thing I’m most proud of with him is kind of maintaining that balance between being totally likeable and fun while also pretty infuriating and obtuse, like he’s a sweet and well-meaning person who’s also really annoying and idk I think I do that balance well.

Pick another character (or the same character if you only have one) and talk a little about where you WANT them to go. What are your plans for them going into the new year? I’m really excited to see where Tiana goes! Ever since I picked her up, I’ve been focused on this goal of getting the restaurant to happen and now that I’ve done that, there are a lot of possibilities. I want to see Tiana burn out from the stress a little bit-- maybe take on more than she can handle because a big part of her arc has been learning to accept help and collaborate with people, and I got to do that a lot with planning Tiana’s Place, but I would also really like to see that continue because those tendencies don’t really go away. I also want LOVE for Tiana even though I keep saying she doesn’t have time for it-- I want her to get a stupid crush that distracts her from work lol I think it could be really fun. And I’m also really excited to keep developing all her friendships, I love all of her Swynlake native connections and PRINCESS HOUSE and other small business owners and now that she really feels like she has put down roots with her restaurant, I want to see her branching out more.

Pick a thread or a plot that you’re proud of and talk about why you loved it. In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 strengths and talk about why you think it’s one of your strengths. Ok sorry to keep talking about Tiana I promise I have other characters but I’m really proud of all of the different characters I incorporated into the Tiana’s Place opening. My goal was to make a real community effort to show that, no matter how much she wanted to do it on her own, she still has a whole group of people supporting her and who have a stake in it-- from Nuka and Ratigan in the beginning with the financial stuff to Clara and Toulouse and Laszlo with the music/art to Jun and Al for business advice to all the people who donated to the raffle. And the raffle was so fun and I hope people use that for plots!!

I also gotta shout out one more: writing the pirates AU Phineas and Ferb stuff was so much fun and really pushed me as a writer I think. I was a little uneasy going into pirates because action/movement/fights are not my strong suit and I knew there would be a lot of that. But the generated stuff was really helpful in kickstarting some ideas and Sid was so great to work with on that. I thought we got really creative and personally I had so much fun and I hope other people did too.

In terms of strengths for my writing-- I think I’m good with flaws? Like even characters who are really sweet and nice (I’m looking at you Henry) I think I try to show the different sides of them and explore how you can be both really well-meaning and really misguided at the same time. And I think that’s good because it has the potential to cause conflict and drive forward more plots where there’s no clear ~bad guy~ just flawed people trying their best and that’s the most interesting stuff to me. Of course I also love big bads! I think macro plots are really important. I think my niche though is those petty little conflicts and I think I do a good job with them.

I’m adding another too because you know what why not. I think I've gotten pretty creative recently?? Like I’ve done some really weird fun stuff this year-- Henry and Jake’s acapella audition is up there as one of my favorite threads, and I’m really excited about Tiana and Aurora’s fake date and Greg and Q doing Santa’s Workshop and I think Henry’s first open was one of my favorite opens I’ve done. Idk I think one of my insecurities about RP has always been that I worry I don’t bring enough ideas to the table with plotting and I think I’m getting better at letting my brain dream up weird cool stuff.

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 areas of improvement.

Like I said, plotting is still something I struggle with-- I spent the majority of my early RP experience in a very gif-chat-heavy open-heavy fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants rp, so coming to BDRP even back during round 1 in 2017, plotting was a big surprise to me. And this is also something that I struggle with in my non-RP writing-- story arc and structure is something I have always wanted to improve. But I think I’m getting better at fleshing out ideas and not putting too much pressure on myself. And I think I’m also getting better at stepping out of my comfort zone and messaging people I don’t write with as often which is important because literally everyone here is so fun and talented! So I want to keep doing that. I know I can be a little shy sometimes (this sounds SO weird I never shut up lol but it’s how I feel) and I don’t want that to hold me back

In terms of actual writing stuff, I’d like to expand my vocabulary a bit more? I think I use certain words and phrasing so often that it annoys me and maybe it annoys no one else and my writing will be worse if I try to throw in unnecessary words but yeah. I think reading more will help with that. And in general I just really want to get better at thinking stuff through and building story arcs.

Pick one of your plots, or even just a character, and come up with a list of 3-5 “mentor texts” where you can look for inspiration or research, then write a short (2-4 sentences) why you picked those texts. (They don’t have to be books, either!)

Ev is the one I feel like I need to do the most development on so here goes!

1. Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston, specifically the character Nora

Messy nerd girls! Messy nerd girls! Please recommend me more things with messy nerd girls! Nora is basically Ev’s exterior, the person people know her as. She’s chaotic and fun and relatable, and also kind of a genius.

2. Macbeth, specifically the character Lady Macbeth

This is one I wanna dive into! I’ve seen a heavily abridged version of Macbeth and that’s about it but I have a copy sitting on my desk. I love a villain who likes to stay behind the scenes and pull the strings, and while Ev is in this for “moral reasons” (lol) she’s also in this for #power. I’m not used to playing manipulative villains-- I’m usually more of a henchperson type deal, so the ultimate 4-D chess gal would be some good inspo.

3. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, specifically Professor Quirrell.

Ok I am really sorry to bring Harry Potter into this but I think something that’s important about Ev is that one of the things distracting from her villainy is her vague air of incompetency. We know she’s very smart and she has the whole nutty-professor thing going, but she’s kind of a mess and I want characters to underestimate her. I think Quirrell’s vibe of being nervous about everything is similar to Ev’s messy exterior and I would love a good end-of-the-book villain reveal. And now, a wishlist! Jot down a few themes or stories or genres etc that you want to maybe pursue in the upcoming year! (i.e. a good ol’ fashion forbidden romance, maybe you want to dig deep into racial identity etc) This doesn’t have to necessarily be attached to any characters or stories you have now– it’s just meant to help you see for yourself what kind of stories call to your heart.

Oooh so many things. Generally more romance-- I always hesitate a little with shipping IDK WHY maybe it’s insecurity about jumping into what always feels like a bit plot to me lol. But I wanna take that plunge more-- especially with Tiana! But I’m pretty much open to stuff with anyone, especially really silly rom-com type stuff. I also think that my shipping niche is super complicated stuff with villains (the irony and craziness of the Henleigh situation is so FASCINATING and FUN and I want MORE OF THAT) so just saying a I’m-flirting-with-you-because-you’re-a-good-ally-to-have-on-my-side-oh-no-I’m-actually-falling-for-you thing with Ev could be really fun (LISTEN her entire tag is just shipping content. I scroll through so much of it so of course it gave me some ideas)

I’m also REALLY jazzed about the uni stuff going on right now. Like I’ve said before, I think college is a really interesting place and so much weird shit happens there because you have all these 18-22 year olds living in close quarters and they come up with weird ways to entertain themselves. The secret santa/RA stuff has me loling every day and I just love stuff like that. Like, I’d love to have shenanigans like people sneaking into dorms and staying up until 3 am in the library and all that stuff. I just love that stuff.

Also I am really trying to do big bad stuff with Ev!! As I have mentioned... plotting and story arcs are a major thing I’m trying to work on, so it’s a lot to think about, but I would really just love to do all kinds of things-- I’d love to have her enable small-time villains, or manipulate people who are easily swayed, or to trick people. It’s a new area for me, but it’s something I’m excited about and I want to challenge myself.

OPTIONAL: Why do you RP?

Because I literally can’t stop apparently lol. No but the thing I love about RP is getting to collaborate on a story and getting surprised by people, getting to geek out about something that I can also participate in, and having NO RULES. I think there’s something really special about having an interest that I can’t monetize or market, that I can do for pure fun out of my love of creating and writing. And I love having a community of people on the ride with me. It’s so much fun and I’m so grateful for you guys!

I always end with a gif so here’s my favorite gif it legit makes me laugh out loud

#bdrptask #this is just word vomit #enjoy

3 notes · View notes

house-of-tykayl · 4 years

Text

cystar tho (headcanons)

imagine

cyborg and starfire are the cuddliest couple ever. the PDA is incredible. star will perch on his shoulders like he’s a climbing post/bird perch and generally just drape herself all over him bc he’s got a lot of surface area and she wants comfy. and cy will just grab her out of midair for huggles before letting her float away again like a balloon headed straight for the atmosphere. star will float higher when she wants to look over his shoulder at something (bc hes the only titan taller than her) and sometimes cy will just reach up and touch her waist and lead her around in the air like that while they chat

the other titans support them, but are simultaneously disgusted by the excessive amount of PDA. cy sometimes milks star’s affection to troll everyone, especially at the breakfast table. “hey star i havent had my morning kiss today” “oh apologies” “do that long tongue thingy again babe” “if you two dont let me eat my waffles in peace for just ONE morning i will open a portal to the seventh circle of hell and chuck the both of you inside”

star is living for the unabashed affection bc cyborg has no qualms about being proud boyfriend in public. like he’ll wrap an arm around her and go “hey star’s my girlfriend :)” and the grocery store clerk’s like “we know, that’ll be $15.99″ and star’s just beaming, holding the plastic bags full of snacks and unorthodox food combinations

if cy’s generous with the lovin wait till you see star lmao. “you are looking most beautiful today!” she keeps saying shit literally no one else will say, either (possibly) coz of the robot thing or just coz starfire’s being starfire, and cyborg’s just like *clutches_chest.jpeg* because she a lil weirdo but she makes him feel normal and appreciated and that he’s great the way he is, that he’s desired even if a lot of him isn’t organic anymore. like yes!! my boyfriend is comprised of 80% robotic parts!! he is extremely strong and the “cool”!!! is he not absolutely wonderful???

ok but starfire can almost never get enough touching, and cyborg’s just like aight *picks her up and carries her around on his arm for an hour* and she’ll just be giddy the entire time

more under the cut

star doesnt have a lot of preconceived notions of what a normal human relationship is, outside of things she sees on TV and robin’s incomprehensible push-pulling over the years. so she doesn’t care one bit about the fact that she’s cuddling a robot. she’d figured starting a relationship with anyone on earth would be something different for her regardless– so a lot of the things cyborg used to think a partner would find problems with, end up not happening because man, this alien chick. “may i lay together with you in your bed?” “girl are you saying you wanna sleep while standing up?? on my charging port???? surrounded by 3478012 cables and wires?????” “is there no room? then may i sleep on the floor?” she just wants to be with him

heck more bed shenanigans would involve like, cyborg awkwardly trying to lie down on star’s bed, and it feels weird coz he hasn’t slept in a real bed for years and while it feels nice he’s kinda sinking into the mattress and he’s self-conscious about leaving a dent in the frame?? or like rolling over at night and squashing star which would be awkward coz he’s more than a little heavy?? then star hops in and cuddles close and is all like shhhhhhhhh slep time

silkie is usually very happy about cyborg’s presence in star’s room, if only because he can gnaw on cy’s legs while they sleep. cy begins to think it’s also revenge since there’s a lot less space on the bed with himself in it, and silkie struggles to find room near starfire to sleep at night. they eventually just get a bigger bed. silkie is a lot less stressed– but cyborg still wakes up with chew marks in his legs

if either of them are too tired from a battle that day, the other will carry them to bed. BB laughed his ass off the first time he saw starfire princess carrying cy to his room (star’s perfectly capable of carrying his weight but her arms aren’t necessarily long enough to hold onto him properly, making it a little cumbersome and awkward), but cy just tiredly gives B the finger

cy will talk to star in awkward broken tamaranian and she’ll get all giggly. everyone else assumes it’s cute flirting, but he’s actually whispering dirty, raunchy shit. that she taught him. and she continues to teach him tamaranian, occasionally dropping new words while otherwise speaking english, and waiting for him to ask about what they mean.

cy will sometimes smack star’s ass and then run for his life before she can return the favor, because he always ends up with an overly-enthusiastic handprint-shaped dent in his ass. it’s a terrifying game of tag. BB will chase them chasing each other with a camera to add to his album of “cyborg’s dented ass” photos that he shares with the whole titans network

cy teaches star about the niches in earth/american culture, the kinds of things that are a little harder to learn about on your own, or things she otherwise wouldn’t have had a reason to learn. he tells her about old american tv shows and explains obscure slang words and how to make telemarketers hang up first and what the contra code is and why he mashes it in every time he boots up a new video game. it’s a crash course mix of useless trivia and miscellaneous culture that makes star’s head spin– but she’s excited about learning all the same, the power of just knowing more makes her feel more comfortable on a planet where she is always a foreigner

it’s kinda why star adores all the different nicknames cy has for her like “fly girl” “baby doll” etc because it makes her feel “in” coz she gets all these cool nicks of names like other earth people!! she fits in!!!! and he’ll say it so fondly it makes her blush half the time. cy definitely notices and thinks its super cute at how excited she gets over pet names. she tries to nickname him back at one point but it felt awkward and she struggled to come up with them, and cy reassured her that he liked her saying out his name anyway, its cool. just be yourself babey

cy loves teaching star things in general, he’s patient and she’s always an eager student. he once took a few hours showing her how to play video games and while she didn’t really take to it, she did learn how to not break the controller whenever her virtual car’s about to crash into the divider (she still shrieks when it happens though)

initially, star is a bit nervous about touching some of cyborg’s robot parts like the implants and consoles coz she’s not sure how to deal with them? alien tech is one thing and earth tech is another, and then there’s the advanced shit that made up cyborg’s body and literally keeps him alive. she’s petrified at the thought of accidentally breaking something like what if she presses the button that turns off his lungs???????? and cy is like why the fuck would i have a button to turn off my lungs?? so one day cy just sits her down so she’s leaning back against his chest, and he looks over her shoulder as he shows her how to navigate his arm console. press this button and choose this option, no the screen wont break even if you press hard, dont use the browser to download malware on my arm like BB did, etc. the ui’s pretty intuitive and star gets it pretty quickly, then she gets all excited. cy teaches her about all the maintenance he does on his body and how his charger works and all that shit and she like oooooo

“if the t-car is your baby, does this mean i am its mother? cyborg does she like me enough? should i assist in changing her oil? *panicking* WILL SHE ACCEPT ME AS HER ADOPTED K’NORFKA?!”

(the t-car is a sassy one, easily jealous and protective– but ultimately, she does approve of starfire, if only just barely)

they spend a lot of time in the garage together. whether cy’s fussing with the t-car or putting together a new gadget, star’s a helpful assistant when it comes to welding or heavy lifting. and while she doesn’t necessarily get programming, she still helps cy with all the calculations and math involved in it; the concept of physics as she has encountered on earth is primitive compared to tamaran, and cy will often challenge her to crack a tough equation before his computer can. while the computer usually gets a result first, star will just explain that its answer was wrong in the large scheme of things, before she starts going in depth into that nerdy science shit to find a more effective way to wire whatever project they’re working on and cy’s just like ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ heart eyes ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ at how smart she is

they fucking love food. while all the titans are hanging out in the common room, star and cy spend an inordinate amount of time in the kitchen. star will literally eat anything, at any time, and cy would go like “yo star want a sub??” and shes like “YES I WOULD LOVE THE EDIBLE SUBMARINES” and they go make the tallest sub ever and then Eat it

they just cook together a lot, one of them being head chef for the hour and the other being the kitchen assistant. cy’s usually in the lead when they’re making food for the other titans (to prevent food poisoning), and star is happy to learn new recipes that aren’t lethal to her friends– that, and licking all the mixing bowls clean. cy purposely gets sauce etc on his face so that star will see and lick it off too. then star will very unsubtly smear food on her face so that cy will wipe it off with his finger and then things get handsy. (they’re both aware it’s a game, but they pretend like they don’t.)

cy gets them matching aprons and a tiny chef hat for star. she asks him why it’s so tiny or even necessary but he just thinks its cute af on her lol

it helps cy’s ego when star will also eat literally anything he puts in front of her while enjoying it unironically. of course, cy quickly learns that starfire’s favorite “earth” foods are things that most people wouldn’t consider food at all, so while he’ll prepare Real Food for himself, he had to start a new custom cookbook for the random combinations of ingredients that starfire likes to ingest. he’s torn between feeling like his chef skills go to waste on her, or being proud at how good he’s become at figuring out the kinds of food combos she likes based on the flavors and consistencies she’s inclined to. but ultimately she’s just so cute and happy when she smiles at the taste of m&ms on raw steak that cyborg’s just like ahh. fine.

cyborg: *sighs while writing* “edamame in a cherry-chocolate reduction: get a handful of fresh edamame, washing is optional, pour hershey’s chocolate sauce all over it, add cherries but don’t remove the pits or the stems, sprinkle in some drops of 7up, then cover that shit in mustard. stick it all in the microwave for 1 minute, doesn’t really matter what temperature? prep time: 3 and a half minutes. the fuck did i just write”

star: *wolfs down that edamame shit like its the best goddamn thing ever*

raven:

meanwhile, while cy can’t stomach star’s tamaranean food, he does go out of his way to learn how to prepare the stuff himself, for whenever star’s sick or feeling down. the nostalgic taste of home tends to help her feel better. the bowls of wustlepus might keep trying to strangle him, but hey, cy can handle it

cy used to think we was master of stuffing his face, but he quickly found out that you do not challenge an alien with 9 stomachs to an eating competition and expect to win. it’s still fun, of course, to pick a restaurant and watch her slowly but surely put away food with a grace that cy doesn’t (care to) have. robin and BB cheer will them on, raven is disgusted but plays referee anyway (even though it’s not like the result ever changes)

“are the table manners required for today’s duel of excessive food consumption?” star will ask cy innocently, but she’d be smiling a lil smugly because she knows she’s gonna win like always

(at some point, the restaurant manager will start eyeing them nervously from the doorway of the staff room, unsure about whether to ask the titans to leave before they run the kitchen dry, or to take advantage of the publicity.)

cy and star are a couple that isn’t inclined to subtle about anything. that means smooching all the time. mwah noises. flirting. glomps. yelling at shit together for fun– cy just expresses himself loudly, while shouting at each other is a form of affection on tamaran. they’ll sometimes wrestle, sometimes arm wrestling and sometimes all out full-body on the floor (actual wrestling tho, not a innuendo; star usually wins). they keep denting walls and furniture with their messing around and the other titans are like /(e_e)\ *passing out earplugs* and at some point robin is like guys… just… keep it in your rooms please

but being loud isn’t exclusive to daytime. nobody fucking knows how the hell an alien and a robot get it on, but based on all the god damn noise at night, they’ve apparently figured something out. maybe more than one something. it is a mystery

“hey, star… ever heard of a vibrator?”

most of their making out happens in the gym tho, let’s be real. they’ve been checking each other out for years in there. now they just get frisky after (or during, or before) a workout, culminating in yet another “workout”. they never lock the door, and after enough incidents the other titans just end up boycotting the gym entirely in lieu of the other training room

with the added privacy, star opts to work out in the gym without a top on. or a bra. then she heads for the treadmill

“you never wear clothing, cyborg, so why should i?”

cyborg keeps dropping his weights on himself and just ends up covered in dents, two mangled prosthetic legs, and having done no training at all

they’re such a peppy excited pair that sometimes things can get a bit too wild. there’s a pile in the back of cy’s room made up solely of dented/crushed/melted/ripped arm and leg prosthetics, all damaged because cy was busy pampering his superpowered alien gf a lil too much. starfire feels super bad but cy is like, he has to fix his limbs after a lot of battles anyway, it’s no big deal. he also hasn’t bothered to suggest a workaround yet because watching her lose control is hot (and maybe getting his hand melted is kinda kinky)

they sometimes troll the other titans– usually robin– by whispering in tamaranian behind them and snickering, pretending like they’re talking about them. robin used to be extra miffed by this, but after learning that cy’s tamaranian is actually still shit enough that he has yet to learn to string together a proper sentence longer than 3 words, robin knows they’re just fucking around with him. at one point robin turns around on the couch and throws some tamaranian right back at them and cyborg’s like :O what the fuck? what the fuck?? and star’s like yeah actually robin asked me to teach him tamaranian too. and robin’s like :) and cy is grumpy he can’t antagonize him with it anymore (and that it’s not exclusively his and star’s code language anymore, but really, you can’t own a language like that)

star likes to cart cy around while flying, but he’s just so bulky that he doesnt look all graceful and shit like robin; he just looks kinda goofy dangling in the air with her holding him under the arms. but even if he felt a little self-conscious, he forgets it quickly when she lets him skim the ocean with his feet or take him up over the clouds– he’d thought he lost everything with the accident that left him a robot, but getting to fly like this is something he never could’ve even dreamed of even when he was all human. like. this must be what it actually means to be living. everything happens for a reason

cy gets a UV lamp installed in his body just in case they get stuck somewhere and there’s no sunlight for star, he can’t replace the sun but it might help

he also turns his heaters up a bit when they’re cuddling coz he knows she likes warmth, as long as he’s not running the risk of overheating his system, but his metal parts can be cold to the touch and while she doesnt mind it at all he just wants her to be cozy….

cy’s like the only titan taller than star, so she usually floats to be eye level with him. he big and bulky and strong and he reminds her of galfore, and that’s part of why she always felt protected and safe around him. not to mention star’s been getting taller than most earth people her age; she sometimes feels like a tall poppy, sticking out of the crowd too much. so she lowkey enjoys being smol for once compared to cyborg, especially if she ever feels like hiding behind him, or being carried by him, the comfort of a sort of bodyguard that she doesn’t necessarily need but is there if she wants

i keep bringing this up but star sitting on cyborg’s shoulders/arms like. the result is this tall stack of a couple that towers over all the other titans– then like everyone will be chilling on the couch when they hear making out noises from above and they look up and its just star floating around cyborg’s head as they smooch and everyone’s like -_-

all the meme fun aside, they’re always able to confide in each other whenever they’re upset. they’ll sit together in silence and just lean on each other or hug and wait for someone to spill. if (when) it comes down to “will i ever fit in?”, because that kinda worry never completely goes away, they’ll be reassured that they know the few places they’ll always be accepted– and that’s in the titans, or in the unconventional relationship between a half robot and an alien nuclear bomb

star likes being around cy coz he’s so sturdy, in more ways than one– he’s strong enough to tank stuff so it’s safer to roughhouse with him. she loves being able to give the biggest of hugs without worrying too much about crushing a ribcage (earthlings and their Fragile Little Bones!)

cy loves how small star is compared to him bc shes fun to pick up or pluck from the air and cuddle ♥ and she’s so warm, just radiating heat both literally and metaphorically and she’s so full of life and heart, and cy’s once again reminded of what it really means to be human– by a goddamn alien, no less

they like to touch each other’s faces, just caressing n stuff like they do in “how long is forever” and the teen titans go comic #24, staring into each others eyes and shit and going all (uwu) they just love to touch each other okay even back when they were just friends!!!!!!!

HAVE I MENTIONED THE SMOOCHES. star will just kiss cy all over his face because its fun and she knows he likes it. then cy returns the favor, except with increasingly exaggerated kissing and nomming noises because it makes star laugh and blush like crazy. it’s horribly embarrassing for anyone else watching. star & cy are usually standing in the middle of the corridor by this point, and then robin was gonna head to his office, but once he sees the path is blocked– by this no less– just returns the way he came without a word

if anyone tries to make star feel uncomfortable for being alien or misunderstanding something, which does still happen sometimes, they’ll quickly find out they’ve got the goddamn terminator comin for their ass. or they’ll turn around and see 6 foot tall robot man with arms crossed and red eye glowing and he’ll be like (: hey there (:

star keeps leaving the garage with motor oil all over her face. none of the other titans knows how to address it, or if they even should, so they don’t

anyway theyre in love

#:)#text #cystar #im weak #yes i referenced teen titans go because ttg actually has the wholesome cystar content can you believe this. episodes just about them #and theyre really cute #fight me irl #might edit this later its a mess #long post

33 notes · View notes

repentingrph · 5 years

Photo

Creating Atypical/Original Characters

In my personal experience, it shocks me how many times I go into an RPG and see a vat-full of sarcastic "too-cool-for-school" type characters. One or two is more than enough to fill that quota, but the last RPG I was in, I'd say about 80% of the group were just that. I get it, though! We all secretly want to embody that vibe. The cool vibe of IDGAF, where you can say anything you want and be praised for it. Let me tell you, though, if those are the only characters around, you're going to wind up with annoyed players because there's always going to be that one person that's going to compete for the top-dog spot of the MOST sarcastic and MOST IDGAF character of all time. It's not cool.

So! I introduce you to alternative ideas or at least the process to your own alternative ideas!

Me? In spite of what I just said, I love those sarcastic bastards with all my heart and I have a few of my own. However, if you really love that brand, give them depth! Do NOT make them be a one-note. With that said, the go-to is adding in a tragic past like someone died. When I say depth, I mean in terms of personality, not just backstory alone. This is where we are going to start with creating our atypical/original character.

PERSONALITY

1. Find your dominant personality trait, and then sprinkle in some undertones.

Let's say you're going for someone who's outgoing. Are they going to be bubbly sunshine or talks just way too much, making inadvertent awkward conversation? Just because you choose one path does not mean there is only one way to travel down it. You can have someone who is outgoing but also terrible with social cues. They could have a good heart but they also make people cringe when they see them coming their way, and I find that beautiful. Mix it up! Sometimes throw in contradictions that shouldn't work, but somehow do. Why do you think anti-heroes are a thing?

2. Set a moral compass.

This is something I always think about when I'm creating my characters. On a scale of Ted Bundy to Mother Theresa, where do they fit? Sometimes it's not even as clear cut as that either. I have one character who is an absolute monster, a total sadist and manipulator, but he has an odd sense of civil justice. Characters, like people, will probably have a gray area somewhere in their moral compass. Tap into that, explore it. It can definitely shape their personality. Why do they think that way? What are their boundaries? How do they justify what they do? Are they a hypocrite? If you're creating a murderer, are they really executing it personally or dictating that someone should be killed? Would they have the moral backbone to do it themselves?

3. The Scales.

Humanity boils down to a few scales, in my opinion. You have intelligence, sexual/romantic prowess, class/manners, and temperament/stablity. For example, I have one character who is very book smart. He is mediocre in common sense. He is asexual with repulsion towards it, but he's an awkward romantic. He is highly well-mannered in a Victorian-esque way. Temperament-wise, he can be irritated but usually cowardly.

Some of these may sound as though they overlap, so think of it like this:

Intelligence is self-explanatory (and if you break it down to three sub-sections of book-smarts, street smarts, and common sense, it helps even more)

Sexual/Romantic Prowess is more or less like the sex-drive or the kind of forwardness they would have. Think of it as a scale from a prude to a professional and experienced escort. Even if your character is asexual, are they still flirty or are they reserved?

Class/Manners is related to how they present themselves. Are they crude or are they refined? You can have someone with a filthy mind actually be incredibly cultured, charming you right into their pants. On the flip-side, you can have someone super reserved with the crudest sense, cursing under their breath with words that'd curl your hair or eating with their unwashed hands. Uhg.

Temperament/Stability is more of an anger test. A good litmus test would be having your character stub their toe. Do they wince but move on after a moment? Does it bother them at all? Or do they fucking flip the goddamn table and yell at it for just existing? Think about how volatile they are or how utterly zen-like they are. Just like I mentioned before, you can have someone that is super crude be really chill. You can also have someone with fantastic class be ready to blow your head off. It's just all in how you play them to show that.

Remember, if you think of more scale-types, go ahead and add them! The more you expand, the more unique they will become! The ones I've listed are just the main ones I immediately go to.

BACKSTORY

I think all of us (and I am particularly guilty of this) tend to favor a dark backstory for their characters, and it usually revolves around some kind of deep, personal loss. There is nothing wrong with that, but it can be repetitive if it's something that frequently pops up in your character portfolio.

1. Try not to kill anyone.

Killing NPCs off is so damn easy. Having a hard time thinking of their family? Kill them off when they're too young to really remember them. Boom. Problem solved, right? Yeah, but then what? Now, I love a good orphan, self-made character. Love them to *bits* (especially since I have one of my own), but let's try something different if you've already done that. Why I say this is not only to deviate from the typical but also to put something away for the future. When you lose your muse, hit up that little bank of family ties. Once you've killed them off, there is no taking that shit back unless you have an elaborate plot about them faking their death. Maybe keep them around instead. Give them a strained relationship. Keep only one in the picture. How about an overbearing relationship, where they just love them way too much and still cry whenever they call them up? Are they an only child? The favorite child? Did they find another mom/dad replacement as years went by?

2. Create a different bad experience.

I can't help it. I'm a sucker for dark backstories, but we're going to keep going with the first suggestion and not kill anyone. Instead, we're going to focus on other solutions. Could be criminal, or personal, or even stupid but with meaning to your character. I don't know if anyone remembers Courage the Cowardly Dog, but there was an episode of a whale that was so hell-bent on revenge, and do you know what he wanted revenge for? For some guy cheating him out of his favorite accordion in a poker game. That shit blew my goddamn mind as a child, and as you can tell, it still blows my goddamn mind today. That's the kind of backstory shit I can get behind and make me want to learn more.

3. Look on the bright side.

So, enough about those bad memories. Maybe your character had a charmed life! Oh, how I hate that nice characters somehow equal boring characters to people, and this would be the same to backstories. Nice backstories don't have to be boring. Your character could have won the fucking lottery. They could have been class president by releasing an unhinged scandal against their opponent without remorse. They could be just lucky, which means that luck can definitely change when you play them. Also, as a bonus, how would they even handle a downfall when they've never experienced it before? What kind of dramatic fucking character arc could they fall into? Sign me the fuck up.

GENERAL ADVICE/FINAL NOTES

1. Every character should be forged from a part of your soul. Forget about the term self-insert because if you don't feel a personal connection to your character, that character has no life. End of story. You're playing an asshole? Don't tell me you've never had a terrible thought in your mind before, just funnel all of that into them. Any aspect of yourself that catches even you off guard is something to tap into and run with.

2. Look back at those that you've already created and see what you're missing. I do this all the time. I usually oscillate my moral compass between the wretched and the innocent just to keep myself in balance. I try to find something I haven't tried before and then build on it. If you have a ton of bubbly characters, try someone emo. If you have a ton of moody shits, go for the flower child.

3. Everyone creates their character from a different building block. Some will start off with an FC. I start with personality usually. On occasion, I will also start with a profession. This is especially true when I see an RPG I love and try to find my little niche to settle into. Go through masterlists like [x] or [x] that can help mold your muse into something that has your own spin on it.

#rph #rpa #rpc #rpt #rpg #guidetrash #I hope this is helpful to people! this is my first guide but hoping for the best!

74 notes · View notes

mynameisdreartblog · 5 years

Text

Romantic Composers 2

Leo: Johann Strauss II. I’m gonna prank-call a Domino’s in San Juan, give me a minute. «Oro, we’re in the middle of the sea, I doubt there’ll be a good enough connection or a cell-tower near enough to let you-» <Sudden static is heard, and a gruffy voice comes on.> «Este es el Domino’s; ¿Qué te gusta probar nuestro nueva pizza stuffed-crust?» <Oro gives an impossible look at Viz, implying that he never doubted himself, but that Viz was a total moron for doubting him.> Yes, I’d like a, uh… <Oro’s eyes begin rapidly scanning the environment for clues.> Anchovies… Pineapples… A Hawaiian pizza, basically: That’s the mellow flavor I’m feeling today. «¿Algo más, señor?» Oh yes, I’d also like those marble brownies for a dessert, and an Orange Crush for the drink. <Viz wonders how Oro is able to receive a cellular connection in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico.> That should be it… Oh no! «¿Señor?» Augh! I fell off this pier, and I think I’m d-drowning! Please, send someone to help; I can’t swim! «¡Mierda!» <Viz watches Oro kick his feet through the water, making very convincing splashing sounds. He then begins to produce fake choking sounds, leaving the Domino’s worker quite terrified.> «Why did I ever agree to come out here with you.» <Viz punches the makeshift sailboat the two are in, startling Oro and causing him to drop his phone.> Viz, what the hell? I still had 3 gigs of data left on that thing! «Data? It’s a flip-phone. Smart phones haven’t been invented yet because they’re a science-fiction concept, dipshit. Now you have some terrorized soul in an island hundreds of miles away from here.» Actually, he’s at the bottom of the ocean. «Don’t speak to me again, I swear to God.» […] <The scene of the discord fades away as we peer into the bottom of the ocean, where we find the phone there, still on call. The voice rings out and says:> «¿Crees que está jugando conmigo?» […] Man, wouldn’t it be hilarious if I did that? <We cut back to reality: Oro is sitting in the front seat of his banged-up truck, killing time while Viz lays half-conscious in the back.> «That’d kind suck. I mean, who’s gonna be on the ocean? Nobody’s that stupid: The ocean’s big and scary.» You and me both, but don’t deny that isn’t hilarious. «Heh, I did appreciate the joke about the phone at the bottom of the ocean: You were setting that up miles in advance.» [,] Shit, am I getting a phone call?

Taurus: Frédéric Chopin. "The automobile is perhaps the only invention that is at once phallic and womb-like. As columnist George Will once remarked, “the real reason for progressives’ passion for trains is their goal of diminishing Americans’ individualism in order to make them more amenable to collectivism.” While his comments are laughable for a number of reasons, collectivism as a goal (or even a word) smells of Cold War-era mildew. Will does hit on one truism: Humans love cars to an irrational degree." Hmm, that’s a very interesting think-piece you have here. But tell me, why should I care about Americans and their car-culture? I hike up here every day, and when I have to travel lower, I take a moped like everyone else. Though, mine’s bigger for obvious reasons. «Don’t blame me; I just put the papers on the table. Those crazy op-ed writers will publish just about anything to get people’s anger brewing.» You’re right… The morning’s been quite inactive though, and I just wanted something to talk about. Heaven knows I talked about every trinket in this place. «You can try talking about the cuisine, specifically how I can learn from you. That’s just something you’ve been stubborn about lately, and maybe this boredom is just the karma of that.» I knew you’d say that, but you need to realize that my cooking is something you can only experience, never narrate. I let things speak for themselves a lot, and I never found a purpose in taking down notes that do nothing but become clutter later on. <Bodhi whispers to themselves> «That’s the guy I know: Always asking you to live out things fully because understanding things holistically is better than growing personally.» [,] You whisper too long but also too sweetly. Please keep doing it until we have a customer coming so I can feel like there’s some activity here. «Bullheaded as always.» […] <Gresham takes a meaningful sip of tea, it fails to burn his old throat, but can punch through the atmosphere to reveal a friendly puff.> A lot of the time, I’m tired of being so cynical: Where’s the room for being clumsily sincere? I have to refuse making money by telling dirty jokes or other obscene things like, ugh, phone usage. <Like he never said, he’s not too old, it’s that technology doesn’t catch up to him for his liking.> [,] The window is just soothing enough to warrant not cleaning it yet, but I don’t wanna get another tourist complaining about how they don’t have the best mountain view. Whoever sits here will have to learn how to appreciate the fault… I’m complaining to pass the time again: Not a healthy habit, Gresham. […] Nothing strange, just a nice day: A little foggy though.

Aquarius: Giacomo Puccini. How would I describe the graphical style of the game Little Red Hood for the NES if I were to use persistent, geographical allusion? Well, I’d say that it’d be like what would happen if you tried to translate the geography of Afghanistan onto 8-bit graphics hardware, particularly how it appears near a strong river like the Helmand: It provided that Galilean backdrop that so many directors used in their films about Christ. Now, that’s what I did think back in my flawed memory of the game, but now that I look back at it again, the landscape is definitely more inspired by that of Florida, particularly around the parts where sawgrass is heavy and palm trees are native, but it’s not a tropical landscape per se, nor is it an entirely swampy one. It’s particularly the presence of palm trees that struck me as confusing, because my brain has always associated the odd, yellow colors of its groundwork to that of a renovated Pacific area, but the game proves that it doesn’t use the palm trees throughout the entire game. But the opening levels still confuse me because the story of Little Red Riding Hood that the game’s based on originates in various parts of Europe, and the foliage we see in the opening act doesn’t reflect that of any European landscape. It could just be an artist interpretation in the case of making the presentation of the game think you were in a Pacific island or near the heartlands of Okeechobee, but I think it might’ve just been a case of “not giving a shit” as they say. There’s more to talk about with how my brain subconsciously linked my flawed memories of the game’s graphical presentation with that of the riverbanks of the Helmand; I guess I just wanted to prove my initial biases and not examine how the game doesn’t even commit to even my ideas whenever I think of Afghani scenery, but maybe even those are failing to catch up with the fact that there’s so many different aesthetical implications within the vastness of the nation of Afghanistan that, uh, I don’t know: I just like Afghani landscape. Have this picture of a village in the Bamyan desert. [,] «Aukai, what the hell are you talking about? I’ve been eavesdropping back here since you started and I still don’t understand.» I’m t-trying to paint this scene in my head, but I don’t have my tools to do it, so I’m thinking loudly about it. «…Whatever.» […] There’s no doubt in my mind that he’d make a great tamer: Our protagonist of this beautiful world, now ravaged by corruptors that his world has gone to hell for trying to stop. He’s the only one who can control the beastly and brutish forces of the corruption that infests his world. <The one earlier who was questioning Aukai opens her door and holds out a hand full of paint-brushes.> «Here, take these, please. I liked you better when you were quiet.» <Aukai is insulted and satisfied.>

Pisces: Franz Liszt. I’m fucking devastated: My favorite rap-battle channel on YouTube just deleted their channel. Not only that, all of their social media accounts are gone. They had such great works as "Goku vs. Rick Sanchez", "George Washington vs. the Invisible Man", and "Luigi vs. Slenderman." I don’t know if I can keep going the same route of content consumption knowing that the only ironic rap battle channel deleted everything. «Hold on, your favorite video-channel on the Internet was ironic? I don’t think I’m getting this, Maggie.» Let me explain it: It was good because it didn’t take itself seriously. For a while, that was it’s niche, and certainly other creators arose to copy it, but they were always the first. «So, is this like, some independent person making all of these or is there an entire network of people collaborating to create this music?» You’re right the second time: They used to be part of this collaborative effort to make these videos, but the guy I like, in particular, broke off from the bigger picture. Now, their content is what I like; I haven’t seen the uploads by the other creators ’cause it’s not really the same experience, is it? «That’s crazy… and they just deleted all their content after how long they’ve done this for?» I’ve been following it for a year, but they were their most active near October. [,] «You actually have me interested in their music now. I mean, I know you can’t play it anymore, but do you at least have backups or remember how some of them went?» I think I have backups, but I know some of these by heart, man. What I’m trying to say is that it’d be far better if I could recite these to you than if I just played them. «So, what you’re saying is that you don’t have any backups?» Do you have any backups, or do you wanna see me recite some of the best lyrics you’ll ever hear? «Let it rip.» [,] "I got the Dragon Balls; I’m gonna win. I’m gonna eat your pickle, Rick. Oh wait, SHIT! Your mom licked my Dragon Ball(z); I’m just Super Saiyan. Kamehameha, I ain’t playin’. Rick Sanchez always wanna start drama; don’t make me do Dirty Sanchez on yo’ mama! I bet your only comeback is you making a burp. Rick Sanchez winning? Stupidest shit I’ve ever heard." At this point, Rick Sanchez would offer up his verse to Goku, and his verse goes something like "thirty-thousand witches in Goku’s house! God isn’t real; I touched Bulma’s blouse. I got like, seventy more episodes with Morty, and being with Morty just makes me real-" «Stop, this is way more awful than I expected.» Well, I’m the only one you can get these bars from, and now you’re saying you don’t want them? I don’t have to recite them. «You have backups; you lied to me earlier. I don’t care about them now, but look: You got potential outside of just reciting those bars. Maggie, you got your own talents.» I’m not a lyricist, but thanks. «You’re a poet, that’s one-or-two steps away from being a lyricist.» I rapped purely for the purposes of recitation; I don’t know what you’re getting at. «Nah, I’m convinced that only you can write something this absolutely… passionate. You made up this entire channel, this entire guild, this entire deletion scandal: You made it all up so you can kickstart your career.» I’m not- Okay, we’ll roll with it this time. [,] Yeah, I’m starting my own rap battle channel in the wake of the one that deleted itself. «Are you gonna cash in on the ironic rap-battle market or are you trying to be more sincere with this?» Of course it has to be ironic! I’m following in the master’s footsteps thanks to you, and now I can’t disrespect his legacy. «That’s cool, but it’s not enough: You gotta make it one of those ARGs.» ARG? «Like, some game of Clue you send your audience on to discover interlinked details that seem to form a bigger picture but end up getting nowhere, and it’s all for the purpose of promoting your brand.» Oh, I see. I can include like, hints in the middle of the jokes in the verses, and I’d make an entire fictional universe of followers that leave behind clues. «No, you don’t even have to do that: Just get a random mugshot, make up some believable names and accredit them to your project, get some weirdos on a message-board to write about it for you, and you’re set.» …If you’re gonna be this disheartening, I don’t wanna continue with it. «That’s not what I meant!»

#Zodiaccupuncture #Zodipunc #Leo #Taurus #Aquarius #Pisces

1 note · View note

wannawritefast · 6 years

Text

Bonnie and Clyde

A/N: As you guys can tell, I suck at posting. I’m busy and still have a crappy laptop and ant to only post stuff that I am proud of. So my posting schedule is a bit few and far between and Im super sorry. Thank you, though, to those of you who have stuck around and read my stuff. And to those who are just reading this as your first time reading my fic. Thank you! All feedback is welcomed and encouraged. Xoxo- Mama Echo

Request- anon requested: “Hii!! Love angel! Could you possibly write a fic where you and digger meet and become crime partners and spend quite a bit of time robbing banks and end up falling in love.”

Pairing: Digger Harkness x Reader, Captain Boomerang x Reader

Warnings: Language, Mentions of blood, a little bit of kissing (does that count?), Violence

Robberies were an… unconventional way to make a living. To most. But hey… It’s not like you could do much else. No one wanted to hire you. McDonald’s didn't want you as a cashier. Walmart didn't hire you. Not even those cute little 50’s diners that are typically waitressed by either college students or older women wanted you working for them. You couldn't even find work as a mascot or a sign twirler.

You couldn't sing (that high school choir teacher kept you on out of pity alone). You couldn't dance (Dance Dance Revolution was the bane of your existence). Hell, you couldn't even draw a rabbit if your life depended on it. You were seriously lacking in arts department adequacy.

You were running out of options. So, you made use of the one thing you could use. Your street smarts. You were definitely cunning enough. Not everyone could talk their way out of being arrested not once, not twice, but four times.

The rooftops and underground tunnels had practically been your playground as a child. You got your fair share of watching things unfold with an eye in the sky. Gotham wasn’t exactly prone to producing the most caring parents anyways. You’d disappear for days, sometimes weeks, at a time. And no one cared! You honestly preferred it to the hellhole some of your siblings called “home.”

But where they picked up honorable professions like lawyers, doctors, teachers, and good respectable citizens of Gotham you reserved yourself to the path of thievery.

And you were so damn good at it. You learned the ins and outs of the basic and not-so-basic security systems. You found out through trial, error, and YouTube videos how to wield knives, guns, staffs, and basically anything you could use as a weapon. You learned how to make poisons, how to hit a vital point, how to take down someone with a gun, how to adjust to your environment, and how to frame someone else for a crime.

But most importantly, you worked alone.

Always.

Trust was too risky, in your humble opinion. It wasn't something that could be thrown about willy-nilly.

You had been planning this heist for weeks now. Months. You got the building floor plans. You found a way to access the main routes of the security guards. You even got your hands on disabling the alarms for a short amount of time.

Street smarts get you places. Not thousands of dollars’ worth of schooling to be a good person.

Pfft! Where’s the fun in that anyways?

After picking up a free taxi ride to the Gotham City Museum, (Don't ask…) you took in the scene before you. Your eyes fell on the front entrance of the closed building and found it surprisingly unguarded. And dark. Perfect… No one would notice if you cut the power. You snuck around the side of the monumental museum and found the power box.

The power box was already open and tampered with. Shit. Someone’s here.

A sense of dread filled you. The electricity from the sparking power box spat at you furiously. Someone's here already.

And it isn't a security guard. To hell with the plan.

You needed to get to that ‘Historic Jewelry’ exhibit and fast. You put your velvet gloves on, pulled your mask on, and checked your voice distorter as you ran back to the front entrance of the building.

Unlocked…Shit…

You sprinted down the main entrance hall. Maps and directories zoomed past you along with benches, tables, and closed fast food vendors. You took note of the poorly guarded ice cream shop. It wasn't your fault if they had terrible security.

You were about to turn the corner when you heard the crackling of a walkie-talkie and booted footsteps on the marble floors. Security guard!

You stopped so fast that you fell forward. Shit! Maybe you did need to follow your plan a little closer.

You scrambled to your feet and bolted to the circular concierge desk. Diving over the top of the counter, it was only at that moment that you realized the damn area was made of glass. Stupid rich people and their stupid interior decorating niches!

You silently cursed yourself for your recklessness. You had about 8 seconds before the security guard turned the corner and saw you. Quietly, you climbed up the sign that said ‘Resources’ and tucked yourself into the inverted nook of the other side.

Just as you secured yourself in your hiding spot, you heard a voice speak up, “Who’s there?” You winced quietly as your heart pounded. You slowly unzipped your pouch of poison and took out your favorite white cloth.

“I know there's someone there,” he called. You heard the click of a prepped gun echo through the cavernous hall. A beacon of light silhouetted the sign you were curled into on the floor in front of you. The shadow wobbled and became unfocused as he rounded the corner and appeared below you. He scanned his flashlight along the food court that lay before you.

You took his bewilderment to advantage and pounced onto the ground behind him. The security guard noticed someone landed behind him when it was too late. You latched your arm around his neck as the ragged cloth in your other hand found its way to the man’s nose and mouth. After a few seconds of struggling, the heavy man went limp in your arms.

You slowly guided the unconscious man’s body to the ground. As soon as he was situated on his back, you took your gun out. You prepped the gun and pointed it at the man’s head hesitantly.

After a brief look back at the situation you decided that because he hadn't seen you, you would spare him… Besides the picture of kids in his wallet looked fairly recent…

And you didn't want to ruin your cover, right? You didn't kill unless the other guys shot first.

Knowing that another guard wouldn't make his way here in at least another half hour you bolted to the exhibit.

You finally arrived to the exhibit and stood still in the doorway. You holstered your gun and proceeded forward.

Until you heard voices. Goddammit! Was every security guard in Gotham City at this museum? No wonder crime is so high in Gotham. Every officer they have is here guarding the damn jewelry.

Cursing yourself mentally, you tucked yourself behind a display that held brooches that First Ladies had worn. From behind two layers of glass you looked where the voices had come from. To your slight relief, you found that the two who had been talking weren’t security guards. But they were guarding another person and he was right where you needed to be.

You inspected the two men a little closer. You almost groaned when you saw that they were young bar crawlers that would think that “no” means “convince me.”

You snuck back to the entrance that you had come through. You needed to lure at least two of three out.

Pulling your mask up so that your distortion wouldn’t affect your voice, you let out a light fake sneeze and listened to it echo through the mostly empty building.

“What was that?” a voice asked from the exhibit room. It sounded disgustingly like gravel and your skin crawled.

“What are you talking about? I didn’t hear anything. You must need to get your ears checked.” The second growled. His voice rattled with phlegm and you felt a bit of vomit bubble up from your stomach.

“I’m not stupid. I know I heard something.”

“Well, if you’re so worried about it, why don’t you check it out, Randy,” the second suggested.

“Maybe I will, Bill,” the first challenged. Men are so predictable…All you need to do is add testosterone and they just throw common sense out the window.

“No one’s stopping you,” exclaimed the second.

“Fine!” Ugh, they’re like children…but bigger and more gross.

“Fine!”

You rolled your eyes and pulled your mask back down. You quickly unhooked your garrote from its place on your hip with a metallic twang. Crossing your wrists, you leaned against the wall and awaited the man who had heard you. The silver wire glinted mischievously in the moonlight.

The lumbering man named Randy rounded the corner and when you were sure he was out of view of Bill, you attacked. You stepped behind him quietly and looped the garrote over his head, around his neck. The poor man didn’t even notice you had entrapped him.

You pulled the handles down a little harder than you had expected and Randy was yanked to the floor. Unfortunately, the weight of the man brought you down with him. You grunted with the sudden change in gravity but kept your grip on the handles.

Randy frantically scratched at the wire tightened around his throat but he wasn’t slowing down. You changed your position so that your feet were on his shoulders and you straightened your legs to get more power. The poor man was so desperate to be released that he brought his huge fist down right on your ankle. A sob of pain escaped your lips, a strange sound with your voice distorter. You pulled even harder. It was only a matter of time before his buddy got curious.

The man slowly struggled less and less. After three minutes of constant fighting the man lay deathly still. You cautiously felt his intensely marred throat for a pulse. Nothing.

You were still hot from the effort of taking down the first guard. Sweat soaked the crown of your head as you pulled the now sticky garrote from his neck and reattached it to its original spot. One down, you thought to yourself, two to go…

You took the mask off of your head as your heart beat fast at the adrenaline coursing through your veins and the mini workout you had just accomplished. You cracked your neck and stretched out to calm yourself.

This time you would use a different tactic that had never failed you. You tousled your hair and put on your red lipstick.

“Randy!” Bill called. “You ok over there?” You put on your best doe-eyed look and cleared your throat.

“Hello?” you called lightly, making sure your voice sounded as feminine as possible.

You peered around the corner at the middle-aged man. The man looked startled to see you. He was about to say something before you put your finger to your lips motioning for him to be quiet. Bill swallowed harshly and gaped at you. You curled your finger toward him in a gesture to beckon him to come to you.

He pointed to his chest and mouthed “Me?” You resisted your urge to both roll your eyes and throw up as you affirmed his question with a doe-eyed look and a wink.

This guy was seriously stupid. Here you were in the middle of a museum in the dark of night and he thought that some lost girl just sauntered into this exact exhibit looking for a good time? What an idiot… If it's this easy to get someone to do something, maybe henchmen weren’t a bad investment after all.

You walked back to the corner and waited for him to appear. As soon as he turned the corner you gave him a sweet smile. He smirked disgustingly and you roundhouse kicked him with your good ankle in response. He crumpled to the ground unconscious. It was your turn to smirk. You leaned over him as you poured fast-acting poison down his throat and forced him to swallow it. He convulsed briefly then lay still. Second down…Here comes the home stretch.

You limped back to the exhibit and pulled the mask on. The man still had his back to you as you approached. Many of the cases were already open and empty. You estimated that he had cleaned out about $10 million dollars-worth of stuff already. His gloved fingers plucked the massive diamond from its display. That diamond alone was worth $4 million and you could practically see yourself signing the check for your own house. He stuck it in his bag that held other jewelry pieces from the museum cases you had passed.

You unsheathed one of your knives as he turned and pressed it to his throat. You shoved him into the display case he had just stolen from. He looked at you with surprise.

You examined him for a moment. Your arm was pressed against his chest and you could feel his muscles along your forearm as he breathed. The man had dark blue eyes that looked almost green and his face was riddled with cuts, a bruise, and scars. You were taken aback by how handsome the bearded man was and decided to let him know.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t cut your throat this second,” your distorted voice threatened. His green orbs flickered down to the blade pressed to his windpipe before he stared you right in the eyes.

With one swift movement, he pulled out a gun and pressed it to your jaw. “That reason enough for you,” he questioned. You gulped at the feeling of the barrel of the pistol held against the base of your jaw and slightly in realization that he had an accent. Australian… Damn, if he wasn’t holding your income for the next 30 years…

You suddenly disarmed him like you had done so many times before and smirked at him as his gun clattered to the floor. He put his hands up in surrender.

“You were saying,” you goaded.

“Ok, mate,” the Aussie began, “First of all, what the fuck. Secondly- Oh my god, look!”

He pointed behind you exaggeratedly and you deadpanned. “What was the point in that,” your distorted voice asked.

“Worth a shot,” he shrugged.

“I’m still waiting for that reason,” you reminded him.

“Ok, seriously, how did you get past my guards.” He asked with his gorgeous accent. He would’ve been more gorgeous if he wasn’t holding your bag of jewels. What the fuck am I thinking?! He furrowed his brows in confusion at my ability to get to him.

“I strangled the first and poisoned the second.”

“Damn, you’re hardcore.”

“Well, they were stupid so… Not my fault.”

“I was going to kill them, anyways. They actually thought that I was going to split it with them,” he laughed a little bit.

“That’s really funny! Yeah,” you laughed with him then turned serious, “Hand me the bag.”

“What? No!”

“Um, yes,” you protested. You reminded him just how sharp your knife was.

“Oi, why do you have the little voice changing thingy, anyways” he asked suddenly. You swallowed harshly.

“Why- why not? It’s good for my cover,” you stammered with your voice still robotic sounding.

“That’s what a mask is for,” he stated, “You don’t need a voice changing thingy for that.”

“It’s called a voice distortion box,” you corrected.

“I don’t care what it’s called! You’re hiding something,” he accused.

“I'm the one hiding something? We're both thieves. Why don't you read the fucking room, bud?”

His eyes burned into yours and you had to look away for a moment. You turned your head to look at the display cases over his shoulder when something caught your eye.

There, back against the glass of a display case, was a security guard. And he had his eyes set right at the man you were pressed against. He hadn’t seen you yet but if he shot he would soon enough.

You looked at the tall muscular man in front of you with a sudden change in demeanor. He looked at you the same way.

You whispered, “There’s a security guard on the other side of a glass case behind you.”

He looked to you with fear in his eyes and the strange feeling of wanting to comfort him arose in your chest. He responded, “Yeah, there’s one there behind you too.”

Your heart leapt in terror. “Ok, grab your gun,” you whispered to him.

“I can’t. It’s on the floor, remember?” he explained. You cursed yourself for what seemed like the millionth time this night.

Then you realized how loud your distortion box was. Quickly making a choice, you yanked your mask off and stuffed it into your bra. You looked to the Aussie in front of you and he stared at you in shock. “Y-you’re a girl,” he marveled quietly.

“Yes, I’m a girl. You better get over it quickly or we’re both going to have bullets in our heads. Now, in my back pockets are two extra pistols. Grab them,” you elaborated.

“You’re kinda hot,” he commented with a handsomely crooked smile. You gave him a look as you blushed furiously. You hoped that the darkness was hiding the redness tickling your face.

“Now’s not the time for that,” you quipped, “I need you to grab the pistols. I can't grab them because the movement would be too sudden and we would, again, end up with bullets in our brains. For the second time, the guns are in the back pockets of my pants.”

“Right,” he nodded obediently. You sheathed your knife and raised your eyebrows in a go-ahead type of cue.

His green eyes stayed on yours as his rough hands slowly smoothed over your waist. There was something pleasant about having his hands on you. Not the time, not the time… Eye contact still maintained, you felt his fingers move down your back and graze a patch of exposed skin.

Your stomach did a gymnastics routine as he blinked at you with his long dark lashes. His hands started down the curve of your butt and something changed in his pretty forest-colored eyes. You prayed to whoever your maker was that you would be alive to explore it more in the future. You felt his hands grab onto the handles of the pistols.

The right side of your pants got lighter as he slid the gun along your hip and held it to you at stomach level. You grabbed it and prepped the barrel.

You were a little more than stunned when he wrapped both arms around you again. Still maintaining the staring match the two of you had, he grabbed the remaining pistol and pushed you into his chest. You looked at him with wide eyes, questioning why he did so. He returned a look that unmistakably said, trust me.

The scary thing was, that even though you vowed to never trust anyone else, you did trust him.

You nodded tentatively at him and he gave you a mischievous smile.

Before you knew what was happening, he had wrapped his arm around your waist and fired his gun that was in his other hand. You heard a body hit floor after the gunshot rang through the building. You saw the guard behind your human shield aim his weapon and you rapidly pushed the Aussie to the floor straddling his waist so he was underneath you. Safe. The case shattered above you and a shower of glass rained down on the two of you. You curled into his chest and waited for the glass to settle before sitting up and firing your pistol at the remaining guard. You got him in the first shot but he had fired his gun milliseconds before you fired yours. His bullet grazed your shoulder.

“Mother fucker!” you fumed. Your hand shot to grasp your shoulder. The Aussie sat up surprised by how quickly you had taken action.

“You alright there, love?” he asked with genuine concern. With a sour expression, you nodded.

He held out his hand, “I’m Digger, by the way.”

You clutched at your shoulder as it throbbed. You calmed yourself enough to speak up again.

“Y/n,” you offered in response and he smiled that devilishly attractive smirk. “Let’s get out of here, yeah?” He smiled at your suggestion. You stood up and he followed suit. “Which way,” you questioned.

You caught a glimpse of the bag of jewels lying mockingly by the case. You glared at it but not before grabbing it. Digger put his hand on your waist suddenly.

“Whoa, hey,” you pushed his hand away. “Let's not get handsy.”

“As much as I'd love to, you are in no position to walk. So I'm just going to-” he reached for your waist again and you swatted his hand away again.

“I can walk. Thank you very much,” you crossed your arms and whimpered at the pain it caused to your bullet wound. You remembered your ankle when you shifted your weight painfully. But you kept a tough face.

“Y/n,” he crooned lowly with his hypnotizing accent. Oh baby Jesus… You forgot that you were supposed to respond for a moment.

“Digger,” you replied in the same tone.

“You gonna walk or what?”

“Yeah, of course. I was just waiting for you to go first. Chivalry isn't dead, you know,” you said flatly. The pain in your arm was reeling.

“You're in pain,” he stated. He rolled his green eyes humorously.

“I'm in pain,” you agreed embarrassed.

“Let me help you out,” he offered, “you saved my life.”

“You saved mine.” You fired back.

Without another word, he handed you the bag of priceless jewelry and scooped you up in his arms. Digger only gave you a funny look and walked toward the exit of the museum.

After guiding him to your way home, you arrived at your apartment. You hopped lightly out of his arms careful to not put weight on your ankle.

Your apartment wasn't anything special. Unlocking the door you limped into your living room: your favorite spot in the apartment. It was simple but cozy. It had a couch, a cheap TV, and a plethora of blankets. Soft lighting from your old lamp helped sooth you despite your eventful day.

Digger locked the door behind you as you hurled the bag of expensive jewelry on your stained armchair. You lugged your first aid kit from under your couch and popped the latches open. You grabbed an Ace Wrap out and took off your shoe gingerly or attempted to as Digger sat down next to you. The TV was still on from earlier in the day. It was perpetually on the news channel for obvious reasons.

With difficulty from both the pain in your ankle and the throbbing from your shoulder you fiddled unsuccessfully with your laces. Wordlessly Digger grabbed your legs and pulled them toward him as he gently went to work on your shoe laces. Something about the gesture felt strangely kind and you didn't feel at all unsafe as he did so. Nervous in fact.

You watched as he pulled your boot off of your foot and tossed it unceremoniously to the floor. He gently rolled the ankle around testing its range of motion. As it was turned toward your other foot, a sharp pain shot up through your leg and stabbed at your hip. A scream of pain ripped through the air of your apartment and Digger jumped at sound.

You yanked your leg up to your chest but Digger wrapped his hand around your knee and pulled it back. A tear involuntarily rolled itself down your cheek. You turned your face away and handed him the Ace wrap. You felt the cloth slowly wrapped itself around your ankle. The pain throbbed as it got tighter and you winced as another tear silently fell. This hurt like a bitch.

You had clenched your eyes so tight that you didn't even notice that Digger had finished wrapping your ankle. You didn't even notice that he had seen you cry until his finger caught a third tear escaping your eye. Stunned again by his kindness, your eyes snapped open and saw how close he was. Less than a foot away, you gazed into the Aussie’s gorgeous green eyes. Your eyes darted down to his lips momentarily. Was he going to kiss you? He leaned forward and reached for your zipper.

“Not even gonna wait for the first date? Someone's impatient,” you smirked. He chuckled lightly.

“Definitely not gonna wait to get your shoulder cleaned,” he bemused, "but I'm flattered.”

“Oh. In that case,” you pulled the gloves off your hands and unzipped the top. You gingerly pulled it off your injured shoulder and tossed it to the side with your shoe. You grabbed the medical alcohol and sauntered to the bathroom in just your bra and pants. Digger followed with an amused smirk on his face.

You sat on the counter and leaned your shoulder over the sink. Or at least attempted to. Every time you put pressure on your arm it stung like no other. You cursed at your lack of coordination.

“Having trouble,” Digger asked as he leaned in the doorway. You only answered him with a look. No matter what you seemed to do it only ended in an awkward position.

“No,” you answered defiantly. He raised an eyebrow at you. You did need a little bit of help. “Fine. Yes. I need help,” you sighed relenting. “But only because you offered.” You eyed him warily as he grabbed the alcohol and took the cap off. “This is gonna hurt. Isn't it?”

“Only a little, love. I'll do it when you're not expecting it.”

“How could I not be expecting it when you literally have the bottle in your ha- OW!” Digger did do it when you didn't expect him to. You just didn't expect it so soon. A sharp sting raced up your neck and arm. Strings of creative curses escaped your mouth and filled the bathroom. “MOTHERFUCKER!”

He curtly set the bottle back on the counter. “All done.”

“‘All done.’” You mocked his accent. “You dump alcohol on my wounded shoulder while I scream in pain and the only thing you have to say is ‘all done’. I have half a mind to kick you out ri-”

But Digger didn't let you finish. He covered his lips over your angry ones. Your resolve melted into his kiss. You momentarily forgot about what had just happened when he pulled away. Mild disappointment washed over you. “Sorry about that,” you whispered. Your noses were still almost touching. “I’ve got a bit of a temper if you haven’t noticed.”

“I noticed,” he commented as he leaned his face forward to capture your lips again. You closed your eyes and sighed as he worked his mouth against yours. Somehow his hands slid down your hips and around your ass eventually finding the back of your thighs and lifting you to on top of the bathroom counter. Your hands instinctively made their way to his unruly light brown hair and his beanie fell to the floor haphazardly.

The intensity in the small bathroom only increased. Digger pushed the small of your back closer to him, the already close proximity not close enough evidently. You nipped at his lips teasingly and a chuckle hummed against his mouth and yours.

“Mrow.”

“What the hell was that,” Digger asked pulling away, just as startled as you were.

You looked to the source of the sound and found one of your cats rubbing Digger’s ankles.

“That’s Clyde.” You giggled. A second one, Bonnie, hopped up onto the counter next to you. The ginger tabby walked into your lap and began sniffing your face not even minding the awkward position that you were in.

“I should have known you were a cat person,” Digger crouched down next to Clyde as your third and final cat trotted into the bathroom. Capone, your tuxedo cat, sat right at the doorframe and observed the situation in the bathroom with a cool reserve.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No. I rather like cats,” he beckoned to Capone, rubbing his fingers together. Capone blinked at him, took a few strides forward, and sat again this time just out of Digger’s reach. Somehow Clyde had made his way onto Digger’s shoulders and Bonnie was seriously contemplating joining him. Digger scooted closer to your tuxedo cat.

“It’s ok, Dig. Capone usually doesn’t take to…” You trailed off when your usually stoic feline laid down in front of Digger. “...strangers.”

The Australian shot you a cocky look as Capone basked in the attention of his new friend. Bonnie and Clyde took turns yelling at Digger for some of his attention as well. You laughed at how fast Digger had charmed your furry children.

“What?” He asked with a smile on his face. It wasn’t a flirty smirk though. It wasn’t ingenuine either. But it was a smile that you felt had been reserved for you. And only you. It was happy and warm and it was yours. Somehow, in that soft bathroom lighting with two noisy cats and the stench of medical alcohol after a successful heist Digger had wormed his way into your heart too.

You shook off your moment of introspection. “You really give a new meaning to cat burglar, you know that, right?” Digger threw his head back in laughter. “You’ve stolen their hearts in a mere matter of minutes.”

“Have I stolen yours?” There was that cheeky lilt in his voice that you would never admit was actually quite attractive.

“Now, now. Let’s not get cocky, casanova…”

“That wasn’t an answer.”

“Oh, shut up!”

“You like me!”

“What are you five?”

“You didn’t deny it either,” you rolled your eyes and picked up Capone as you walked out of the bathroom. You slung him over your shoulder like a baby and he sat there. He kneaded the air with his white mitts contentedly. “Here me out though. I-”

“Wait, do you hear that?” You shushed him for a moment as you rushed to the remote and turned up the volume on the TV.

The plastic-looking woman reported from her futuristic looking conference table, “We have some breaking news from Gotham City Museum. An armed robbery occurred about an hour ago and famous jewelry from the travelling ‘First Ladies and Royalty’ exhibit, amongst other priceless artifacts, is gone. Let’s send it over to Kaye.”

Your gaze met Digger’s in shock. You had been thorough… What went wrong?

“Thanks, Wanda. We are at the scene of the crime here at Gotham City Museum. This felony has left 2 security guards and 2 criminal accomplices dead as well. There is one surviving security guard but he seems to be suffering from amnesia. As of right now, there is no security footage of the crime as the main power grid and the back-up generator were hijacked during the robbery. There are two suspects as to who it could be.”

You gulped heavily, the suspense killing you.

“The first suspect is Catwoman who frequents jewelry heists and the level of mastery leads many to believe that this handiwork is of the feline femme fatale felon.”

You rolled your eyes at the fluffy wording.

“The second, more surprising, suspicion is not one but two criminals. Police suspect a Bonnie and Clyde copycat situation. There is no eyewitness account to go off of but a man on the street claims to have seen a couple, a man and woman, exiting the premises. Sir, can you tell us what you saw?”

The camera suddenly shifted to footage of what looked like a homeless drug addict. He eyed the camera warily. “Yeah, I saw a man and woman. Looked like they were married. Cute couple if you ask me. From where I was standing, it looked like the husband was carrying his pregnant wife.”

Pregnant? You looked to Digger suddenly. Why on earth… The man thought the bag of jewels was a belly with a bun in the oven! This was perfect! You burst out laughing victoriously. You had never been more thankful for the homeless and reminded yourself to do some community outreach in the following months.

“Thank you, sir. And is there anything else noteworthy to say?”

He turned to the camera dramatically. “I need to take a piss right now.”

You burst out laughing again as the reporter frantically told the camera to switch as the man proceeded to begin working on his pant’s zipper. Grabbing the remote again, you turned the TV off.

Digger just smiled at you mirthfully with a look on his face.

“What?” You questioned with a smile that matched his.

“A couple, huh?”

“You’re insufferable.”

“And pregnant?!” He shouted in mock excitement.

“Oh, calm down. You’ll wake the baby,” you teased while giggling.

“I’m not hearing a denial,” he said. You knew that he was only half-joking.

“You’re not getting a ‘yes’ immediately either,” you ushered him to the door.

“What?! Oh, this is just cruel!”

The two of you stood in the doorway of your apartment. “Next Friday at 7. Pick me up. Take me out to dinner then we’ll talk.”

“Maybe a little more,” he asked, waggling his eyebrows playfully. This man…

“Good night, Digger,” You laughed as you began to close the door.

Before you could shut it though, he pushed the door open a little more with his hand. You were a little bewildered until Digger pressed his lips against yours quickly. He pulled away just as fast and gauged your reaction.

You grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him in for one more kiss. He enthusiastically kissed back. As you finished the kiss, you half-heartedly pushed him back into the hallway. You broke away with a smile and told him ‘goodnight’ for the second time.

You shut the door and the last thing you saw before closing it was his green eyes.

And you genuinely looked forward to Friday.

#captain boomerang x reader #Captain Boomerang #digger harkness #digger harkness x reader #suicide squad fic #captain boomerang fic #digger harkness fic

193 notes · View notes

fingersinhisass · 6 years

Text

bc carly @aldmerii humored me and answered all 60 questions of the oc question thing for shaelle, i’m gonna do it for al as well even tho literally no one asked so. here goes!

1. WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER’S BIGGEST FEAR?

having his friends, people he’s grown to trust and care for, discover all the bad shit he did in the past and basically breaking all ties with him. he’s terrified they’ll think he’s a monster bc well. he thinks he’s a monster sometimes too

2. WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER’S FAVORITE MEMORY?

it’s not one specific memory exactly, more like. a mix of lots of memories. in the summer he used to play outside all day with the other kids who lived in his neighborhood (very poor, pretty decrepit houses, mostly dust and dying grass) and like. those were some of the best times for him? because he was still too young to care that their family didn’t have enough money to send him to school, or that all of his clothes were hand-me-downs with at least one tear that had been fixed, or that his mother’s face was worn with wrinkles that would better suit someone much older than she was. so he’d play pretend with these kids in his neighborhood, and go on “adventures” and kick around pebbles and wrestle in the dirt, and then he’d come back home to his mother calling him, and she’d wash his face and feet and hands gently and tuck him into bed and he’d fall asleep under the heat to the sound of her soft voice and the insects buzzing in the grass.

3. WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER’S LEAST FAVORITE MEMORY?

he’s got plenty to pick from, so i don’t think there’s one specific worst. but the gazes of people he willfully hurt, potentially even killed, really haunt him. he tries not to think about the stuff he did when he was younger.

4. DOES ANYONE HAVE A CRUSH ON YOUR CHARACTER? IS YOUR CHARACTER AWARE OF THIS?

my beautiful girl shaelle do,,,, and also this one demon dude they helped once. can’t remember his name bc he’s a pretty irrelevant npc. he was aware of that crush, but he has no fucking clue shaelle likes him

5: DESCRIBE YOUR CHARACTER’S DREAM DATE.

oh man. anything romantic that would make his date happy. it’s cliche, but he’s fond of long walks and candlelit dinners. he’s an exceptionally hopeless romantic.

6: WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER’S SEXUAL ORIENTATION?

lol what’s that????? al likes a lot of people he’s not picky. he’s actually kinda lowkey a ho.

7: HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER FEEL ABOUT THEIR NAME?

my boi gots lotsa names. his birth name makes him nostalgic, but he doesn’t really attach it to himself anymore -- the only person who can call him that is his mother. the name he used when he was a thief he absolutely despises. he still twitches if he hears it spoken, regardless of if it’s pointed towards him or not. he picked the name he has now himself, so he likes it quite a bit thank you very much. it makes him feel like a distinguished human gentleman. he’s a fucking doof.

8: DOES YOUR CHARACTER HATE ANYONE? WHY?

al is not someone who hates easily. he trusts easily (too stupid to learn from his past mistakes, he’d remark bitterly, but really it’s because he’s an idealist by nature and wants to believe people are inherently good). he doesn’t respond well to betrayal. at all. he accidentally punched a dude to death once for betraying the group. to be fair, the dude was really fucking old, and he only had one hit point left and failed all his death saves so like. not really al’s fault. you woulda done it too if you were in the same situation

9: HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER FEEL ABOUT RELIGION?

neither of his parents are very religious, and he wasn’t raised religious either, so it doesn’t really matter to him all that much

10. WOULD YOUR CHARACTER EVER KILL SOMEONE?

yes, but only if he felt it was justified and there were no better options. he is strongly against killing people who he feels don’t deserve it, but there are some people he would kill without hesitation solely because he believes their death will benefit many others. he’s got. complicated morals.

11: HOW DID YOUR CHARACTER MEET THEIR BEST FRIEND?

he met borem when they were assigned to be partners. they’re both detectives. although not sure how long that friendship is gonna last now...............

12: HOW WOULD/DOES YOUR CHARACTER FEEL ABOUT ROLLER COASTERS?

terrified. hates heights. don’t make him do this.

13: WHAT WOULD YOUR CHARACTER DIE FOR?

people he loves. easy.

14: WHAT IS THE CUTEST THING YOUR CHARACTER HAS EVER DONE?

when is my boy not cute, honestly???? idk, i can’t pin down a specific instance. but he’s like. super blushy and awkward around people he’s romantically attracted to, and that’s incredibly adorable. he took shaelle to the prison where her brother was being held so they could see each other again after ten years, and that was also very sweet

15: WHAT MUSIC GENRE WOULD YOUR CHARACTER LISTEN TO?

fuck, idk. he strikes me as the kind of person to just listen to whatever’s on. he doesn’t have a very developed taste in music

16: WHAT OTHER FICTIONAL CHARACTERS REMIND YOU OF YOUR CHARACTER?

jeez. probably gumshoe from ace attorney? mostly because they’re both good good detective boys just trying to do their best and i love both of them desperately.

17: DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE ANY IRRATIONAL FEARS?

heights!!! he hates heights!!!!! which is funny bc his acrobatics score is insane.

18: HOW WOULD YOUR CHARACTER FEEL ABOUT HAVING THEIR LIFE RECORDED?

it would make him supremely uncomfortable. he may be very social, but when it comes to his home life he’s intensely private.

19: WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER’S DEEPEST, DARKEST SECRET?

he gots lotsa those. he’s stolen very important things that resulted in the detriment of others, he’s tortured and killed people, he’s aided in drug trafficking and human trafficking -- with children. which is when he quit, because he couldn’t stand that. he hates watching children suffer.

20: WHAT IS THE MOST SURPRISING THING ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER?

he’s actually a really good detective. not because he’s smart, though -- he’s desperately determined to better society, and he’s also just very, very lucky.

21: IS YOUR CHARACTER FLEXIBLE?

oh my god, yeah. listen, my baby got 18 dex, +7 to acrobatics. he is EXTREMELY flexible. wink wink

22: WHAT IS THE WORST THING YOUR CHARACTER HAS EVER DONE?

oops i kinda answered this one already. i’m not gonna go into detail bc i kinda just don’t want to?? listen he’s done bad things he regrets

23: IS YOUR CHARACTER MORALLY GRAY OR BLACK OR WHITE?

hmm. he generally does things with good in mind, and usually he does it in a way that’s not so bad. but sometimes he twists the rules a little bit in a way that’s. ehh?? he’s not entirely against using violence to better things.

24: WHAT PREJUDICES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

he’s generally not a fan of rich people or the ruling class. ofc he’s got a huge crush on shaelle, but like. she’s the exception

25: WOULD YOU WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOUR CHARACTER?

no bc he’s devastatingly handsome and i’d be terrified.

26: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HEADCANON FOR YOUR CHARACTER?

him whistle real good. he likes to whistle and sing like. all the time. when he’s just idly doing things at home he does it without even realizing it and he’s a little off-key sometimes but he can carry a tune

27: WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST WAY FOR YOUR CHARACTER TO DIE?

at the hands of a friend, probably

28: WHAT PET WOULD YOUR CHARACTER LIKE TO HAVE?

for a while he had some sort of ferret weasel thing? idk if nj is gonna let me say he’s still got it tho lmao

29: WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHARACTER’S FAVORITE FOOD?

his mom’s recipe for fresh-baked bread. real white bread was a fucking luxurious treat when he was growing up and so whenever his mom would make a small loaf of it, maybe like once or twice a year, it was always so special to him

30: WOULD YOUR CHARACTER HAVE ANY HOBBIES?

he likes to read, especially adventure or romance novels lmao

31: WHAT SOCIAL MEDIA WOULD YOUR CHARACTER USE?

i can see him on twitter??? he’d have no idea how to use it though

32: WHAT DOES YOUR CHARACTER LOOK LIKE?

him real hansom. angular features, high cheekbones, tan skin, very fair hair and silver eyes bc he’s a sun elf. long, long eyelashes that are darker than his hair, thick eyebrows. thin build, 5′10, long nose. i’m lov my boy.

33: IN WHAT WAYS IS YOUR CHARACTER LIKE YOU?

he’s loud, goofy, occasionally pretty snarky, expresses emotions like happiness, excitement, and anger very easily, but feels weak showing sadness and tries to suppress it. fails. head over heels for shaelle.

34: WHAT IS CLICHE ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER?

so many of my characters are pretty boys. so many. also he’s a lovable idiot

35: WHAT IS UNIQUE ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER?

i made him myself n he’s got a big ol’ heart.

36: DOES ANYONE WANT TO HARM YOUR CHARACTER?

there are a lot of people who would kill him immediately if they knew where he was and that he wasn’t dead. he has a lot of enemies.

37: DO PEOPLE HAVE JUSTIFIED GRUDGES AGAINST YOUR CHARACTER?

probably. he speaks his mind a lot and can kind of be an asshole sometimes

38: WHAT ROLE DOES YOUR CHARACTER PLAY IN THEIR STORY?

he’s there to take everyone to fantasy jcpenny

39: WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHARACTER’S NICHE ON TUMBLR?

historical fashion blogs and poetry all the way

40: WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHARACTER’S FAVORITE SCHOOL SUBJECT?

creative writing or some sort of music class. he like both.

41: WOULD YOUR CHARACTER WANT TO HAVE ANY CHILDREN?

YES!!!!! he loves kids. LOVES them. his entire life he’s wanted to be a dad. eventually he’s gonna get married to shaelle and they’re gonna have lotsa babies, but currently he hasn’t had the time to meet anyone or settle down and he’s worried he never will.

42: WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHARACTER’S DREAM CAREER?

he’s doin’ it. basically he just wants to help people however he can and make up for all the bad things he did for so long

43: WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER INSECURE ABOUT?

his social class. especially around shaelle. he definitely thinks he is absolutely not worth her time, and the subject of poverty or the social hierarchy in serin ilyan really touches a nerve for him. he also just really, really wants people to like him.

44: WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER PROUD OF?

all the good work he’s done as a detective. he’s (surprisingly) solved a lot of cases, and he feels a sense of accomplishment and justice for doing it. like maybe he can start to sleep a little easier knowing he hasn’t just hurt people all his life.

45: WHAT WOULD YOUR CHARACTER CHANGE ABOUT THEMSELVES?

his past. he’d go back and do something different, try to actually work hard and make honest money instead of getting involved in what he did

46: WOULD YOU WANT TO TRADE PLACES WITH YOUR CHARACTER?

hell no. i love him to bits and i’d love to be a really handsome elf man, but like. my boy has way too much guilt that i wouldn’t want to live with.

47: WHAT FANDOMS WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE IN?

al isn’t cool enough to like things like that. plus he’d be very confused by fandom culture i think

48: HOW WOULD YOUR CHARACTER TYPE?

hunt and peck, capitalized first letter but nothing else, punctuation when he sees fit

49: HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER STAND POLITICALLY?

he doesn’t know what, but he knows SOMETHING needs to be done about the poverty in his city. other than that he tends to look at the smaller scale of helping people

50: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER?

he messes up a lot but he never stops trying?? he has a lot of determination and things he believes in and i love him for that. i love him for trying so hard to be good.

51: WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER’S FAVORITE ANIMAL?

he likes mice, mostly because they were easy to find when he was a kid and he always caught them and tried to train them, but then felt bad and let them go like an hour later

52: HOW WOULD YOUR CHARACTER ACT IN GYM CLASS?

he’s not super strong but he is crazy flexible. probably not a ton of stamina and although he looks like he’s got the body for it he’s not that great at running. he’s just really fucking good at climbing and doing flips and shit. he’s always one of the last people out during dodgeball just bc he’s so good at dodging. he can move FAST.

53: WHAT CLUBS WOULD YOUR CHARACTER JOIN?

he probably wouldn’t join any clubs bc high school is around the time he started down the path of Bad Shit so he definitely wasn’t spending any time hanging around the school if he didn’t have to

54: WHAT IS THE SADDEST THING ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER’S LIFE?

he doesn’t realize that people are complicated and that good people are capable of and do bad things sometimes. he’s not a monster for the mistakes he made in the past. he’s genuinely good, he’s doing his best, and people love him and care about him and he needs to know that.

55: WOULD YOUR CHARACTER DO THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE?

hm, this question sure dates the original post... yeah he absolutely would. he likes doing dumb things like that, especially if they’re for a good cause. he’s a goof.

56: WHAT’S ONE OF YOUR CHARACTER’S QUIRKS?

he’s very fidgety. he doesn’t even notice it but he’s really not good at staying still

57: HOW WOULD YOUR CHARACTER FEEL ABOUT FEMINISM?

i think he wouldn’t understand the complexities of it, but in general he would absolutely be for it. inequality pisses him off.

58: IS YOUR CHARACTER DORKY OR MORE ATHLETIC?

he’s an absolute dork. 100%.

59: WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER?

a lot of the time i worry he’s too contrived and tragic or that i play him out of character or that he’s just like. way too dramatic in general.

60: IF YOU COULD TITLE YOUR CHARACTER’S LIFE, WHAT WOULD YOU TITLE IT?

The Good Boy: Please, Folks, He’s Doing His Best

#it speaks #alphonse #aldmerii #friend tag

1 note · View note

tellywoodtrash · 7 years

Text

ishqbaaz lb: 2 - 6th january

i thought i’d be all caught up and back on schedule by now, but somehow i find myself behind by more than a week’s worth of episodes again. oh well.

maybe this week’s my week. in the mean time, here’s the second installation of liveblogs.

2nd january

preview: whut the whut???? is shivaay drunk again? is he dreaming this? is anika dreaming this? am *I* dreaming this???? 😯😯😯

lmao these three sisters are rudra's nightmare come alive; the bhaabi he never wanted, HIS FATHER'S MISTRESS, and the cult leader who kidnapped him. 😂😂😂

this bloody house and family is so fucking big, they should implement whatever technology uber implements in its cars, to keep track of what family member is where. 😒😒😒

rudra's denim shirt/trackpants outfit is pushing the limit on "athleisure" methinks. 😕😕😕

GOD DADI YOU AND YOUR SCREECHING. JUST... SHUSH.

they should really get someone else to dub for the dadi actress, coz her voice. lord above. 😬😬😬

oh no shivaay thinks anika's playing. 😟😟😟

dadi looks downright horrified at the thought. dadi, it's ok. it's how billu and biwi do foreplay. stay out of their sex life. 🙄🙄🙄

lololololol the fridge is about to start ringing. 😂😂😂

give it up tia. you're not gonna win. 🙄🙄🙄

FIGURE IT OUT FASTER YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. 😑😑😑

lmaooooo "bhaabi fridge main kaisi pohunchi???" 😂😂😂

there's a sentence no one ever plans to say in their life. ever. 😂😂😂

PLEASE NOTICE THE FACE OF THE FRIDGE MOVING DUDE. ZERO REACTION. ALL IN A DAY'S WORK FOR HIM. he must move a lot of rich ppl's fridges with bahus in them. 😐😐😐

i was like "ok she's cold but not THAT cold that you need a bonfire in MUMBAI" before i realised tht this was a prinku scene. 😶😶😶

ok, acp is like... RIGHT UP in their damn group now, and no one's like "who's this weird, fully grown man who's appeared out of nowhere and staring intently at one of our friends? 🤔🤔🤔"

what the hell does he even want??? 😒😒😒

yes priyanka, leave the group and isolate yourself, while you're being stalked. that's the smart thing to do right now. for fucks sake, this chick has the survival instincts of a fucking dodo. 😒😒😒

oh great. three MORE rapey boys. just what the show needed. MORE RAPEY BOYS. 😤😤😤

(lemme save you all the trouble of wondering how this is gonna go - acp is gonna save her, she's gonna be indebted, he's gonna be all conflicted coz omg why did i save her i hate her and they'll angstily marry each other and be the most boring-ass couple ever. 🙄🙄🙄)

i need to know what makeup primer/fixing spray anika uses that's waterproof, crying proof, torture (by shivaay + daksh) proof, freeze proof... like... what sorcery is this????? 😯😯😯

ok rudra, if you think of her as your wife, why don't you just ACCEPT it, and TELL HER? why is this plot still where it was 2 months ago????? 😑😑😑

i want sAumya's jammies. they look comfy af. 😊😊😊

oh look. husband was here all along! 😚😚😚

aaaaand he's yelling. ouff. give a girl a second to wake up properly! 😒😒😒

ok relax my man, you're in mumbai, not the north pole, that a hand outside the blanket will make her get the chills. 🙄🙄🙄

aw, he's "snug as a bug in a rug"d her! 😚😚😚

"akduuuu!" 😂😂😂

honestly boys, you can find better porn on the net, you don't have to get your jollies from watching priyanka change into a nightgown ffs. 🙄🙄🙄

romi's outfit is cute af! i want! 😊😊😊

i don't like this new YELLYYYYY svetlana. 😑😑😑

wow ok yeah that plan sounds CLEAR AF, thanks svetlana, for being so precise and detailed. 🙄🙄🙄

A+ eyeliner though. if only you lent that laser focus on explaining the plan. 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

oh this... credo, and hand gesture thing is... here to stay? not a one time thing from that reveal scene? 😬😬😬

it's reminding me of a hateful version of the thing the planeteers do to summon captain planet. 😂😂😂

BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED, I AM CAPTAINNNNNN NAFRAT!!!! 😋😋😋

acp is shocked to learn that someone else is moving in on his "make priyanka feel violated with rapey harkatein" niche. THAT'S HIS CURB, DAMMIT, AND HE'LL BE DAMNED IF ANYONE TAKES IT FROM HIM!!!!!!! 😡😡😡

just once in my life, i want someone to be as excited about me as rudra is about anika. 😪😪😪

"aap fridge mein kyun chupi thi? aap waisi hi itni cool ho!" 😂😂😂

dadi: don't do anything that can get you killed, lololol!

seriously, dadi??? is that how you warn someone??? is the actress playing her wrong, or is she being written weird? either way, i can't fucking stand this character since shivaay and anika got married. 😒😒😒

@ ruMya: can you two just bang and get over it? 🙄🙄🙄

"hum risk sirf tabhi lete hai jab humein yakeen hai humaara prince charming humein bachaane aayega."

the day i risk anything in hope of a MAN coming and saving me is the day i die. of disappointment. 😑😑😑

headline of tomorrow's oberoi times: 30+ year old man gets his kicks from eavesdropping on youth and their discourse on romance; forces wife to participate in chichori harkat as a means to feel her up under the stairs.

why's he hugging her to his chesttttt? like cute af and all, but... lol, why? 😂😂😂

aw rudraaaaaa. 💗💗💗

aaaaaaand, there. you had to ruin it. asshole. 😒😒😒

waah, seediyon ke upar bhi romance, neeche bhi romance. 😏😏😏

where's my boy ommmmmmmmm? why isn't HE feeling up a PYT somewhere in the vicinity of this staircase???????? god knows if anyone deserves it the most, it's him! 😐😐😐

play a romantic song from this decade maybe???? 🤔🤔🤔

ok shivaay, she's your wife. you can seduce her in your room, ya'know. 😶😶😶

ok fine, i won't be such a unromantic grouch. carry on. continue fondling your wife under the staircase, like a horny high school kid. 😌😌😌

what do you mean "roka kisne hai?" YOU WERE ON HER LIKE WHITE ON RICE BRUH. pfffffffft. 🙄🙄🙄

the bad dubbing is ruining this scene for meeeeeeee. i'll have to watch it again on mute to get my kicks. 😫😫😫

wow. so this is what it's like when shivaay is romantic. nice. why couldn't you have just persuaded her to marry you her like this?????? 😐😐😐

shivaay, back in his room, googling "help i think i love my wife" and "how to make my wife love me". 😂😂😂

tia's hereeee, looking extremely becoming.😚😚😚

LMAO that HUGE step back he took when she mentioned the baby. 😂😂😂

oh i think tia's in that phase of her pregnancy when women get super horny. 😶😶😶

lol, i've never heard of the word "rest" as a euphemism for an orgasm, but this show has been so ~~~pathbreaking in so many ways so sure, why not? 😕😕😕

*while being seduced* "... i need to finish my emails!" 😂😂😂

lmao what an ISHQBAAZ. truly amazing. dadi, come take a look! 😂😂😂

anika strolling into that room like, BITCH STEP THE FUCK BACK, THIS WORKAHOLIC ROBOT IS MINE!!!!!! 🙃🙃🙃

3rd january

preview: I KNEW THE NEW HUNKY SERVANT WOULD BE SHADY! I KNEWWWWWWWWW IT! 😬😬😬

tiaaaaa was notttttt expecting anika to be so ferocious after being frozen like an bag of peas. 😂😂😂

shivaay's deep resigned sigh + "tia, you brought this on yourself" face lololol 😂😂😂

"nakhre noor jahan ke" hee hee 😂😂😂

"kasam shivaay BABY ki" LMAO 😂😂😂

shivaay's enjoying this smackdown too much lol, he's intervening soooooo reluctantly. 😋😋😋

"ACHAAR KE DAAG KI TARAH DHEET" omfg appropriating this for daily use irl 😂😂😂

might as well hang a sign around shivaay's neck saying "property of anika" 🙃🙃🙃

for that matter, tia's too, coz anika just OWNED HER ASS 😎😎😎

damnnnnnnnnnnnn anika, is this what being cold does to you??? i just get very angry and miserable and eat a lot of carbs. 😐😐😐

lololol the instant disappearance of her giggles. 😋😋😋

patidev is taking full faida of display of haq. 😚😚😚

MAIN ROZ BRUSH KARTI HOON HAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂😂😂

shivaay's not interested in your dental routine right now anika, he has lurrrrrrrve on his mind! 😚😚😚

(that look he gives her teeth tho, lol) 😂😂😂

it's weird that he's being SO romantic all outta nowhere. with a woman he served divorce papers to THIS MORNING.

(yes, this is the same day. god. i'm exhausted just thinking how long their damn days are. 😫😫😫)

bruh, parde toh bandh kiye hote. the whole house is getting an eyeful of your seduction game. 🙈🙈🙈

which is suddenly A+ btw. looks like googling "how to make my wife love me" gave him some fucking amazing results. 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

such cute how they can't control their silly smiles and giggles at each other. adorable idiots. 💗💗💗

lol she literally jumped out the window to get away. 😂😂😂😂😂

relatable af. i woulda done the same. 😶😶😶

yes shivaay, what's happening to you? your constant smiling and being all romantic and shit is freaking meeeeeeee out. 😬😬😬

ouff, from that cuteness to this rapey nonsense. 😒😒😒

LOL ACP'S PUNCH. 😂😂😂

acp toh shivaay ka bhai nikla in phone tod department. 😐😐😐

where the fuck is everyone, did they just leave prinku alone? 😒😒😒

why doesn't the third dude deserve a name? 🤔🤔🤔

TUJHE CHAHTE HAI JAANEMAAANNN. abhishek and sumit have been watching too many b-grade 80's bolly movies. next they'll reply "bhagwan ke liye tujhe chod denge toh hum kya karengee?" 🙄🙄🙄

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. honestly, i am so fucking done with this acp and prinku track. i could honestly not give less of a fuck about them. 😑😑😑

yes acp, keep watching as they tear her dori and violate her. best. 😒😒😒

anika, pay attn to hunky servant. he just gave you a clueeeeee. 😐😐😐

anika, you need to get a job. 😗😗😗

pft. acp ki herobaazi. mujhe nahi dekhni. fwd. 😒😒😒

can shivaay enroll prinku in some damn self defense classes ffs???? while he's at it, some personality development classes as well. 🙄🙄🙄

lmaoooooooooo TUM MERE HO. 😂😂😂

what the hell is with this show and songssss from the fucking 90s. can they not afford copyrights to anything newer??

such dramatic dupatta odh-ing was unnecessary. hand it over like a normal dude, bro. 🙄🙄🙄

prinku's feeling the angsty lau feelings right on schedule. 😒😒😒

since when is there this giantasss plate glass window in shivaay's room? 🤔🤔🤔

snort. hunky servant's evil smile. lololol. 😂😂😂

lol what the hell is he doing with the pointer toy i use to irritate my cat? 🤔🤔🤔

what in the world is shivaay wearing? 😟😟😟

lmaooooooooo. the cat toy is being used to melt whatever's holding the glass. 😂😂😂

yeah honestly anika, why do you ask? 😐😐😐

tia speaks the truth. get a job, anika. a hobby maybe. 🙄🙄🙄

like, i love anika and all, but god, i love tia so much more. she's a cold hard bitch who gets hers. 💗💗💗💗💗

or tries very hard, at least.

by this time, you could have run back home to save him by now. 🙄🙄🙄

looking at the angle the glass was falling, he was out of the danger zone. but yeah, the flying shards... oh well. 😐😐😐

TELL ME WE GET SOME AWESOME HURT/COMFORT SHIT OUTTA THIS, WITH ANIKA NURSING HIM BACK TO HEALTH. *smoochy noises* 😚😚😚

4th january

preview: idc what these ppl are yelling about all i care about is that OM IS BACK OM IS BACK OH HAPPY DAY OM IS BACK I FEEL LIKE I HAVE REASON TO LIVE AGAIN MY LONG HAIRED ARTIST BOY IS BACK!!!!! 😇😇😇

ouff, move slower shivaay. 😒😒😒

UM HOW THE FUCK DID THE GLASS JUST SHATTER SPONTANEOUSLY??? WHAT NONSENSE. 😒😒😒

GIRL, HONESTLY IN THIS TIME YOU COULD HAVE RUN THERE. 🙄🙄🙄

pft. he's fiiiiiine. just has some glass in his hair. nothing that tadi waala hair gesture of his won't fix. 😎😎😎

what's om screaming about? boy stand still and smile so i can drink you innnnnnn. 😐😐😐

what logic. there's just one paraaya, compared to allllll these apne. 🙄🙄🙄

tej, again, he's a self made billionaire. he doesn't need your money. 😑😑😑

ouff. men and their egos. 🙄🙄🙄

shivaay's been shook out of his near death experience stupor thanks to all the yelling. ouff, this fucking family. can't you let a man ponder his mortality in peace????? 😒😒😒

rudra, maybe have less selfish reasons... like, something more compelling than a fucking SANDWICH????? 😒😒😒

anika's brain be like OH BETE KIIIIIIIIII 😂😂😂

this should be a rasm for the new bahu too, witnessing the first bullshit fight that occurs in this family on a near-daily basis. 🙄🙄🙄

for once, shivaay's angry grabbing is justified and not icky. 😶😶😶

god stop being such an angsty emo bunny, om. such a drama queen you are. 🙄🙄🙄

ouff this damn new servant. 😑😑😑

yeah we got that, om. give us the REAL REASON. 😒😒😒

ooooh i think tej's trying to marry om off to some richhhhh heiress??? 🤔🤔🤔

CALLED IT!!!!!!

why's pinky making that self righteous face? it's what she was doing to shivaay too. 😶😶😶

arre bas itni si problem? nothing a little google-fu and facebook and instagram stalking can't solve! such baat ka batangad. 🙄🙄🙄

i mean, i gotta agree with tej here, arranged marriage really isn't a revolutionary concept. why's om getting so hyper like a damn white kid who's never heard of the concept? 😐😐😐

um, that's so not the reason to have kids????? 😒😒😒

he wants lurrrrrrrrrrve, tej. he wants LURVE. 😗😗😗

god this fucking murdery servant dude is getting even more footage than OM and it's pissing me offfffff. 😒😒😒

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, i mean if this argument came from anyone other than shivaay. 😂😂😂

to play devil's advocate though, he was in a relationship with tia and THINKS he knows her though. 😕😕😕

lol tej has the same idea as me. 😙😙😙

LMAO OM'S BRAIN LITERALLY SHORTCIRCUITING BEHIND TEJ, I AM LOVING IT LEMME REWIND 😂😂😂

lololololol even better the second time. 😂😂😂

bro, someone explain the structure of the oberoi businesses to me. please. i don't get it. what does shivaay do, what does tej do, how does any of this shit even work????? 😕😕😕

they're really modelled on the ambanis, i guess. 😗😗😗

tej, maybe don't disclose your petty so openly? 😬😬😬

ouff, dadi, why do you even bother? just go back to tirupati or whatever. take om with you. live in peace. 🙄🙄🙄

yeah shakti. just shut up. let a mom defend her son. 😑😑😑

what's wrong with this fucking servant, he's just going around the house tampering with everything shivaay touches. 😦😦😦

ouffffffff, jungle waala chutiyapa abhi tak khatam nahi hua. 😒😒😒

lol that weird scream. 😂😂😂

god, that's one determined rapist, going to attack prinku IN THE MIDDLE of getting his ass kicked. finish him offffff, acp. 😑😑😑

um acp??? large knife being aimed at ya girl... 😕😕😕

of course... of course acp is the one who gets slashed. 🙄🙄🙄

i wanted a shivika hurt/comfort scene. ouff, looks like i'll have to settle for this off brand nonsense instead. 😒😒😒

no? prinku's just letting him walk away? cool. 😗😗😗

ouff tej, you're like a dog with a bone, om don't currrr about your damn business. 😑😑😑

god how many times will we have to watch the same fucking argument between om and tej. i'm so bored. 🙄🙄🙄

ok tej, just stfu. THEY WERE JUST STARTING TO GET ALONG AND BE ALL CUTE AND FLIRTY AND SHIT. WHY YOU GOTTA RUIN ITTTTT????? 😑😑😑

ouff pinkyyyyyyy, shushhhhhhh.

this episode is so fucking boringgggggggggggg. ouff. 😑😑😑

oh no is svetlana back in tej's life now?????? OH NO. 😬😬😬

thank god at least one sister in the kapoor fam has a strong seduction game. watch and learn from di, tia + romi. 😎😎😎

who is svetlanaaaaa gunning for om to marry????? 😐😐😐

OHNOEOHNOEOHNOE 😯😯😯

i have this teeny tiny feeling that maybe om may end up marrying the chaddha girl, through some tej + svetlana dhokebaazi, and he's gonna hate her, but she's gonna turn out to be super nice and shit and worm her way into om's heart. #tellywoodtrashKiBhavishwyawaani 😇😇😇

dadi about to keel over from a heart attack. 😐😐😐

i feel zero sympathy tbh, coz dadi kinda deserves a tiny heart attack from the way she handled the shivaay/anika thing. 😒😒😒

the oberoi kid deserving bachpan-waala slapping is behind you, tej. he's less slap-worthy these days but give it a week or two, he's going to do something to deserve it. 😕😕😕

anika be like lord almighty i miss my bua. she was easier to handle than these ppl. 😮😮😮

calling it already, jhanvi is #bestMom2k17 👸🏽👸🏽👸🏽

good riddance. bye tejjjj.👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽

precap: shit, i thought my "bye tej" straight off dispatched him into the afterlife. 😬😬😬 nope. just some rando chick. om's girl? 🤔🤔🤔

oooh, shivaay making anika some mighty big promises. 😚😚😚

5th january

lol @ tej's hissy fit. 😆😆😆

this servant seems to have a damn phd in killing ppl. 😐😐😐

LMAO, pinky is meeeeeee. 5ever interested in the drama, but super side eye-y of it. lolololol. 😂😂😂

anika, honestly, i mean, i get your urgency, but is this the time? 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽

gaaadi hai, underwear nahi, that two people can't use one anothers'. just give him the damn keys, driver. 🙄🙄🙄

oh the plan was to kill tej all along? i have no issues with that. carry on, kapoor sisters. 🙃🙃🙃

GOOD LORD. RAPEY DUDES ARE ALSO KAPOOR SHILLS. WHAT NONSENSE. OUFF. 😒😒😒

also how the f did they send the mms to romi when acp smashed the phone last night???? 😑😑😑

anika, girl. you soundin' cray. 😶😶😶

lol the scenery chewing that this servant actor is doing. amaze. 😆😆😆

i want jhanvi's earrings. 😊😊😊

svetlana's super nonchalant "what?" at tej's impending death, i love it.

i've changed my mind, i think i love svetlana. i'm modeling my 2017 personality after her. 😍😍😍

tia, stop being such a weak bitch. 😐😐😐

OH NO JUST WHEN I GOT ON #TEAMSVETLANA, she's about to go do some suicidal stunt?!?!!! GODDAMNIT, WHY???? 😩😩😩

tej should have read @phati-sari‘s post on how to deal with failed brakes. 😊😊😊

yeah no one who takes an airbag to the face emerges looking completely fine like that. that shit deploys at like 300 kmph. 😒😒😒

oh shit u ok svetlana???? 😯😯😯

guessing this is svetlana's plan to make her way into the oberoi mansion. please don't let this end up with her marrying om tho. that's just super yucky. 😬😬😬

anika, you need to learn to communicate better. no one would believe what you're saying, the way you're saying it. 🙄🙄🙄

lol “dimaag ki dahi” what an un-shivaay like phrase. 😂😂😂

@ruMya: could you two kids just kiss alreadyyyy? 😐😐😐

ugh acp ka ott filmy dialogue. hope those big words are antiseptic and save you from catching some kinda nasty-ass infection. 🙄🙄🙄

“bohut khoon” my foot. 🙄🙄🙄

"main bura hoon, par gira hua nahi."

LMAO WHAT NONSENSE, HOW IS YOU FORCING HER TO MARRY HER IN ORDER TO TORTURE HER ANY BETTER THAN MAKING THE MMS? IF ANYTHING, IT'S WORSE. 😒😒😒

can you two get off my screen already????? 😑😑😑

thank you.

CAN YOU TWO IDIOTS STOP FIGHTING ABOUT THIS OUT IN THE OPEN LIKE THIS???????????? 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽

oh boy, om's gonna fuckin' loseeeeee it. 😬😬😬

lol his crossed arms + "both of you shoulda died" expression. 😋😋😋

god tia, TOUGHEN UP. nafratbaaz my ass. 🙄🙄🙄

svetlana doesn't even look thaaat injured tho? like she's just got a few scrapes... 🤔🤔🤔

BREATHE, SVETLANA, I JUST STARTED LIKING YOU!!!! 😩😩😩

why is no one (anika even) noticing tia losing her shit while seeing svetlana like this? 😐😐😐

LMAO TRUST THE OBEROIS TO KEEP THEIR FIRST AID KIT IN AN ORNATE GOLDEN FILGREE EMBOSSED WOODEN BOX. 😂😂😂

loving jhanvi, pinky and om's #idgaf expressions. 🙃🙃🙃

fwding to when svetlana finally wakes the f up, coz we all know she's gonna. 🙄🙄🙄

om asking all the real questions. 🙃🙃🙃

ok that answer doesn't make sense, tej. 🙄🙄🙄

nothing gets me more heart eyed than when om calls ppl out on their shit. 😍😍😍

what “jaan par khel kar”???? she just happened to be in the way with her car, there were zero allusions that she did it intentionally. 🙄🙄🙄

finally, tej lending some credence to anika's story. 😶😶😶

pft, i only watched today's episode for the shivika scene i was promised in yesterday's precap, and instead i had to watch a whole episode of them bickering and have to wait until the next ep. 😒😒😒

6th january

preview: yay, team's all here and on a mission!!!!!! 😊😊😊

lmao the knife still in the tyre. looks like murder servant isn't that smart after all. 😆😆😆

lmaoooooo no pointtttt calling security, come on shivaay. 🙄🙄🙄

sup khanna? new year, new facial hair! 😏😏😏

lol you know khanna is here only to make fanmixes on his otp. i bet he has a thriving youtube channel filled with footage of you two. 😆😆😆

why's he calling tej when he's just indoors???? 🤔🤔🤔

says the person who whatsapps her mom from the next room about how the cat is chewing on my leg. 😶😶😶

um shivaay, please to notice that your wife is currently having a breakdown? 😶😶😶

this moment is coming across as super fake on anika's part. the whole stumbling around and talking to self thing. 🙄🙄🙄

“aap BHI mujhe chod ke chale gaye toh?” awww. baby. *pats her hair*

god shivaay, why is YELLING your go-to for everything? you didn't even try to reason with her normally, before going to yelling. 😒😒😒

bad writing/shitty editing or shitty acting on nakuul's part? 🤔🤔🤔

"main kahin nahi jaunga. na main khud jaunga, na tumhe jaane dunga."

aw. but also, kinda creepy and dakshy-sounding. depends on what mood you're in while watching. 😕😕😕

HUG!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗

oh come on, you could have totally hugggggggged. why's shivaay having sudden commitment-phobia??? 🙄🙄🙄

lol jhanvi, why so obtuse? how can someone so smart, be so fucking stupid? 😑😑😑

LMAO PINKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I FUCKING LOVE YOU 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

never let it be said that true love doesn't exist in this show. 👭🏽👭🏽👭🏽 offering to murder your sister-friend's husband's mistress is the GREATEST ACT OF LOVE that has ever been displayed in the 170-odd episodes. 💗💗💗 #female relationships mean everything to me

pinky's disappointment at jhanvi not taking her up on the offer = the best. 😂😂😂

"naagin ko full fats creams ka milks pilaao" amazing. 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

also, subtle meta reference at svetlana actress's gig on a naagin show? 🤔🤔🤔

does anika even know the whole deal with svetlana? how????? 🤔🤔🤔

kanji aankhein be shocked at...?

oh. murder servant's game is up. bye boo. it was fun watching ya overact the fuck out of everything for 3 days. 😙😙😙

rudra's brief for this episode: make an exit within 30 seconds of scene and take sumo with him. 😑😑😑

170 episodes too late, but yes, please change the security staff. 🙄🙄🙄

oh god, time for anika to maarofy heavy sanskaari statement about patni protecting pati from blah blah blah. 😑😑😑

my expression, exact same as tia's. 😒😒😒

oh boy, anika's leading tia into a phone throwing type moment. the wily minx. 😬😬😬

ooh, is this the first time tia didn't call shivaay SHIVAAY BABY? 🤔🤔🤔

lol shivaay, not much of a date if she goes alone. 😐😐😐

oh boy shivaay, don't piss tia off. she's gonna ramp up the attempts to murder you. 😬😬😬

i thought she was gonna snap his neck right there and then. 😂😂😂

lololol anika's face. 😂😂😂

methinks the shivaay doth protests too much. 😚😚😚

snorttttttt, idk if she's enjoying this or not, but I CERTAINLY AM ENJOYING THIS. 😂😂😂

nakhra is not a very hard word. neither is noor jahan. are you just stupid, shivaay? 😕😕😕

this is a silly, quite badly written scene, but they're so cute when they're unable to stop grinning around each other. 😘😘😘

tho shivaay is unusally happy for someone who almost got murdered twice today. 😕😕😕

time for oberoi mystery inc. to convene and discuss. 😎😎😎

in the most open, obvious fucking location in the house. amazing. not a single bright crayon in this box. 😒😒😒

^^^^ ACTUAL PICTURE OF THE OBEROI BOX OF CRAYONS. 🙄🙄🙄

when will my om get a girl to walk with, who loves him the way he deserves to be loved? 😞😞😞

"laser". pfffffffft. IT WAS A CAT TOYYYYY COME ON. 🙄🙄🙄

where did all the furniture in this room go? 🤔🤔🤔

lmao AJAY VERMA. might as well be named john smith. 🙄🙄🙄

also, of course he didn't come from the agency you fucking idiots. 😑😑😑

DRAMATIC TADI WAALA POSTURING! 😎😎😎

i'd be downright disappointed with tia if she wasn't eavesdropping rn.

NOOOOOOOOO DON'T LEAVE! LISTEN TO THEM PLANNING WHATEVERRRRRR! FFS TIA, ARE YOU INCAPABLE OF DOING THIS WITHOUT SVETLANA HISSING AT YOU AT ALL TIMES???? 😩😩😩

may i remind you all that they were making out like svetlana was almost in a fucking coma. still, not a single person watching over her to find that tia is visiting her and calling her "di". 🙄🙄🙄

lol svetlana's giant hair eclipsing her head bandage tho. 😂😂😂

i'm bored with this scene so here are the oberois as mystery inc. team members:

anika = velma 🤓🤓🤓 (because orange. and she's ultimately gonna be the one who solves everything.)

shivaay = fred 👦🏽👦🏽👦🏽 (requisite cis male eye candy; mileage may vary depending by case.)

sAumya = daphne 👧🏽👧🏽👧🏽 (occasionally does shit, but mostly here to fulfill the cute quota.)

om = shaggy 🙇🏽🙇🏽🙇🏽 (coz i'm sure 87% of his chill personality comes from the fact that he's 420 blazin' it up in that studio of his.)

rudra = scooby 🐶🐶🐶 (self explanatory.)

I WANT TO BURN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE UGLY FUCKING VESTS THEY PUT ON THIS MAN!!!!!!!!! 😡😡😡

ooooooooh anika sleeps in the room now! progress! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

"anika? hi? good morning? 😶😶😶" lol. awwww. 😊😊😊

goddamnit shivaay, why the fuck are you always yelling??? honestly, that too so early in the morning. 😒😒😒

"you sleep like a log." "kaun log?"

snort. 😂😂😂

"dhang ke kapde"? you rather liked this outfit the last time she wore it. couldn't stop feeling her up every two minutes. 😏😏😏

"breakfast banane jaa raha hoon, TUMHARE LIYE."

NOW i'd say my man’s on track to redemption. 😚😚😚

what can i say, i'm a hungry bitch. feed me and i'll be yours forever. i'm very much like a raccoon that way. 😇😇😇

OOOOOOOOH A GIFT. 💖💖💖💖

wait, should i be worried? 😟😟😟

coz y'know, the last time he handed her a gift wrapped box, it had divorce papers. 😕😕😕

OOOH AN IPHONE. ANIKA FINALLY JOINS THE IPHONE FAM.

inaugarate it by dirty facetiming each other. 😏😏😏

sahil is a 7 year old. AT BOARDING SCHOOL. he doesn't need a fucking phone. 🙄🙄🙄

ooooooooh. "pyaar se." girl, watch what you're asking for. you couldn't really handle his pyaar a day back. you jumped out the window coz it was too much. 😋😋😋

goddamnit, this smooth motherf... where's he suddenly getting these moves from???? 😯😯😯

ok it's an iphone. not that there's a lot of variety to CHOOSE from. calm down, shivaay. 😑😑😑

his smiley romantic mood makes me both awwwww, and also be a little freaked out. 😬😬😬

mostly freaked out. i'm really not used to it. i'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. 😕😕😕

"toh yeh pyaar se tha, ya dobara koshish karoon?"

holy shit. i... uh... 🤐🤐🤐😯😯😯

*loses my damn mind for a second*

ok i’m back... BUT WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE SHIVAAY WE KNOW AND LOATHE????? 😮😮😮

GODDAMN HIS SEDUCTION GAME... JUST... NO WORDS. 😶😶😶

i nearly jumped out my damn skin just like anika when he came back.

"phir se blush kar rahi ho."

GET OUTTA HERE, ANIKA AND I CAN'T DEAL WITH ALL THESE FEELZ. JUST GO MAKE THE FOOD. GO. SHOO. 😩😩😩

"yeh blush kya cheez hai???? main kar bhi rahi hoon aur mujhe pata hi nahi hai!" haha awwww 😂😂😂

sAumya looks cuddly af man. i wanttttt a hug from herrrrrr! 🤗🤗🤗

why is she not dancing in her own room tho? 🤔🤔🤔

the fuck is this???? 😒😒😒

ohhhhhhhh, it’s an ad for some shit. fwding. 🙄🙄🙄

also, why is it suddenly night if shivaay just woke anika up? 🤔🤔🤔

bloody hell, what a waste of screen time, this is an extra minute i could have spent staring at om's face. #respectOmkara2k17 😩😩😩😩

#ishqbaaz #ishqbaaaz #ib episode liveblogs #episode liveblogs

15 notes · View notes