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aching-tummies · 1 year

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"I think I ate too much..."

"Let me rub it, it'll help" proceeds to NOT help at all, being a little too rough on the tummy

Thank you so, so, so much for this! This one in particular has been a little gem that I've been revisiting since it showed up in my inbox. I'm a total sucker for sadistic tummy-kink and have been saving this one, wanting to do it justice before posting it.

I know I kind of left it on a cliffhanger. Honestly, I couldn't decide what to do at the point I cut it off here ^^ Either option sounded amazing. So...yeah...I'm going to leave an open invitation to send in a continuation response to this one if anyone wants to take me up on that ^^

I shift my bag on my shoulder, bringing the little messenger bag in front of me. We've got some time, this intersection is notorious for being ridiculously timed. I tug on my bag-strap, ensuring that my bag is in a good position, shielding my left hand from view. I've had it pressed to my stomach since we left the restaurant. My stomach churns painfully as the pedestrian light changes and we cross in a hurry. It's timed poorly, so we always have to sprint in order to make it to the other end or risk the embarrassment of being stranded on the little concrete island or whatever in the middle of all the lanes of traffic. The sudden jog is agony on my tummy, packed as full as it is. I feel like I'm lugging an unsecured watermelon strapped to my front. My stomach is jam-packed and bumping awkwardly (and painfully) around inside of my torso. I press my left hand harder against my stomach, desperately trying to quell the over-full ache without breaking pace. Nausea joins the party and I feel something hot and sour lapping it's way up my esophagus. As we reach the other sidewalk, I fight to keep my breathing under control and I bite my tongue harshly to prevent a moan from being audible. With that short sprint, my stomach went from "slightly uncomfortable" to "DAMN THIS HURTS!".

We make it across and go back to a walking pace--our goal being the bus stop on this block. Thank heaven for that--I don't think I could manage another intersection-sprint. My stomach aches so much right now that a sharp jab or another jostling may be enough to burst it or at least make me vomit. I'm so, so, so frickin' full that it hurts.

As we near the stop, I use my phone and look up the up-coming bus times.

"Ugh…next one's in forty." I call out to you as I settle on the rigid bench, dragging my bag onto my lap to hide my aching belly.

"Forty? Wanna duck into a shop?" You suggest. I quickly shake my head. Entering a shop means more walking and I don't want to be on my feet or moving with my stomach so full and achy.

"Nah. I'll wait here. You can go if you want to though."

I'm hoping you'll go and that I can tend to my stomach out of your view. We both have a thing for tummies in distress and we've shared that with each other. When we plan it, I'm totally on-board for a private tummy-kink session at home. I'm not so on-board with it all when it's in public or in front of company. I also know from experience that you're 100% the sadistic lover of my dreams. Your goal is always to push my stomach--literally--and get rough with it. We both love the sounds it makes when we get rough with it. The whiny grumbles and high-pitched whines as it is forcefully churned and prodded at. We're at a bus stop right now and I feel ridiculously full. Like…full to the point that I'm honestly terrified that I won't be able to hold it all down. I've got a small stomach capacity and I rarely ever indulge to the point of fullness, so my stomach is struggling under the weight of all that we put into it just now. We went to a noodle place in the area that's known for their large portions. It definitely lived up to it's name, with the bowl of noodles I got being about 2.5 times what I'd normally consume in a single sitting. The soup-base was delicious too so I definitely drank the broth…and am currently regretting it. My stomach was already packed-full with the sheer amount of noodles, veggies, and meat in the bowl. Chasing it all down with roughly a litre of hot broth filled my stomach beyond capacity, resulting in a very uncomfortable stretch. If there were any empty pockets in there, it all got flooded with the sheer volume of broth near the end of the meal. Based on what I felt inside of me while making that mad dash across the intersection, there really isn't any room inside of my stomach. The mass of noodles didn't tumble around inside the broth so much as jiggle and jostle like a sludgy mass inside of my over-burdened stomach.

I'm not used to eating so much in a single sitting and my stomach is at a loss for how to handle such a large glut of food. Digestion isn't happening normally and it feels like my stomach forgot how to release it's contents into my intestines. Or, who knows, maybe my intestines are just as stuffed as my aching stomach is.

To my surprise (and dread), you plop down on the bench right next to me.

"A-Aren't you gonna duck into a shop?" I ask.

"Hmm? Nah. I'll wait. Plus, there's something far more interesting here." If I could focus on anything other than how sickeningly full my tummy is, I'd have seen your sly grin. "Hmm…what do we have here?" You ask slyly, nudging my bag aside and poking at my left arm--currently pressed against my stomach.

"Ah…uhm…" I was really hoping it'd escape your notice. A wet burble crescendos, audible between the two of us. I swallow back against the warm liquid fighting its way up my esophagus. I fail to bite back a moan as my stomach cramps harshly, a wave of pure pain coursing through my stomach like a wave crashing onto the shore. I close my eyes, my moan tapering off into a whimper as I abandon being discreet and rub my stomach frantically with both of my hands. "Nnngh…i-it hurts…" I mumble, tears prickling my lashes as the pain in my stomach intensifies. "I think…ooooh….I-I think I--ah!--nnngh…t-too much…nnnnnnnngh…" I squeeze my stomach with both of my hands, regretting the action instantly as I feel something breech into my esophagus against the pressure. My stomach burbles angrily as the swallowed contents tumble back into the cramped space.

"Hmm? Come again?" You play coy, your fingers dancing along my arm.

"Nnngh…a-ate…t-too much…h-hurts…" I choke out. The wave of pain begins to ebb, but I know there will be another. I let out a breath and release my grip around my stomach, rubbing it gently with both of my thumbs.

"Awww…here, let me rub it. It'll help." You don't even wait for permission. Your hands join mine on my bloated stomach. Despite being so painfully distended, it really doesn't show all that much. I'm somewhere between 'skinny' and 'chubby' on the appearances scale, with my body's fat-distribution being pretty spread out so I'm not noticeably chunky in one area or another. Because of that, even though I feel ready to burst, you wouldn't be able to tell if your palm wasn't directly on my jam-packed belly. My abdomen has no give to it. It's firm under our palms, having about as much give as a recently-inflated bicycle tire. There's the usual fleshy give that stems from the fact that it's flesh and internal organs we're pressing into…but my stomach is so packed solid that you'd really have to commit to it to depress it in any way. My little groans and grunts every time you you, as well as the wet hiccup when you pushed right over my stomach-organ are proof enough that pushing into my tummy is a really, really bad idea right now. Not like that's going to stop you.

I slap at your hands, glaring at you.

"N-Not in public…nngh…p-please?" My eyes glisten with tears at the thought of being forced to puke in public. The bus stop has a trash bin, but we're in a commercial area. If the stop were in a more secluded area with some trees or shrubs around for cover…maybe…b-but we're in a commercial area and there are people and cars with people in them all around us.

#tummy kink #stuffed tummy #tummy ache

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sapphircs · 2 months

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Unsaid Things - Drabble

The group of dwarves gathered around Thorin's company, most of them to wish them well, to return safe and make sure that Erebor is rightly reclaimed. Thinya stood behind that group, arms crossed, green hues showing worry over excitement.

The dwarrow dam met Thorin a day before, as she was crafting a necklace for one of her customers. The young Prince approached, and as usual, greeted her and sat next to her. "What brings you here?" Thinya asked, a gentle smile comis across her face. Thorin sighed and remained quiet for a moment, contemplating her fingers dancing around the gem she was modeling to increase in some melted silver. He had a lot in mind, and wasn't sure where to start. It's been months that Thorin has been working on this plan of reclaiming Erebor, months that he has been debating over telling his dear friend. A part of him knew that Thinya would keep the secret, she proved good enough to be a loyal friend over the past decades.

Their friendship grew strong, both always kept some free time to each other at least once a week. They would meet at the tavern, Thinya would tell Thorin about her next commissions, tell him funny stories about random customers, tell him the beautiful gem she found in the mountain. Thorin would listen at her, his ocean eyes shining with amazement and interest. In return, he would tell her about his training sessions with Dwalin, how the bald dwarf was often rough but fair. He would tell her as well of his nephews, Fili and Kili, who grew into two fine dwarves, both princes and great warriors. A hint of pride would join the light in his eyes whenever he would talk about his family.

Over the decades, Thinya and Thorin knew each other well. This weekly meeting at the tavern was their little bubble of safety, where both could tell each other anything and without being judged.

So that evening, when Thorin joined Thinya at her little shop, his face showed another feeling than the usual one. The dwarrow dam smiled at her friend, not knowing the news he had in mind for her. She simply made him open his palm and put into it a very rare and tiny ruby. "Look at this beauty..." Thinya said proudly. "It's so tiny, but so rare. It glows like passion. A beautiful ruby I found down the mines. I think this one I will keep it for myself." Thinya said, her green hues looking down at his large palm holding the ruby. A part of her deeply wanted to gift it to Thorin, but the dwarrow dam was terrified of showing her feelings.

Over the past years, Thinya's heart started beating faster for Thorin. Not only because of adoration towards her friend, but also for admiration and, dared she say, for love. Thorin was a handsome dwarf, naturally born majestic. A true leader who cared for his people, a dwarf whose eyes showed kindness and gave her a feeling of safety. The brunette was Thinya's very best friend: she knew she could tell him anything, and a part of her loved how protective he was over her. He was a landmark for the golden haired dam, he was the only dwarf she could feel close to a family member. Deep inside, Thinya dreamed of a future with him but she wouldn't share those thoughts with Thorin.

After all, Thinya lost the title of noble when both of her parents persihed, eaten by the flames of Smaug in Erebor. She was no more legitimate to ask for anything, nor share the true nature of her feelings to a Prince. The fear of rejection and of losing her best friend was stronger than the hope of Thorin sharing the same feelings. Instead, Thinya decided to stay quiet and dream in silence.

"It's beautiful, Thinya." Thorin said, a kind smile coming across her face. The Prince detailed the little gem, caressed it with his thumb to feel how flat and perfectly shaped it was, and gave it back to Thinya. "Keep it. Rare gems should stay with their peers." He winked at her, meaning how rare she was and important she was to him. Thinya smiled and nodded before adding: "I am thankful to be your friend, Thorin. This is a priviledge that you offer me and I cherish it to eternity." Thorin smiled at her but as he remembered the meaning of this improvised meeting, it slowly faded away. The dwarf sighed and started talking.

"Thinya... I will be gone for a while." he started, his blue hues locked into her green ones. "I've been working on this for the past few months, I apologise for not telling you any sooner: I am leaving tomorrow with Dwalin, Fili, Kili and a few other dwarves on a quest to reclaim Erebor." Those words hit Thinya's heart very hard: this meant she wouldn't see her friend again for a long time, if he ever came back alive. Her emerald eyes all of a sudden lost the usual light she had for him, worry and sorrow invading her whole body. Her heart started bleeding inside as she was processing over the news.

"I want you to know that I will return." Thorin said in a determined tone. "I will reclaim our home, and you will be able to rebuild the shop of your father. You will see, we will reclaim our old life there. I just can't stay here in Ered Luin and not try. This is my duty and it's always been my duty...." Thinya remained quiet and nodded. "Thinya...?" his hand gently took hers and squeezed it, almost as a call for her to look at him in the eyes. She looked back at him in the eyes, a tear rolled down her cheek as she just gulped. She immediately wiped the tear and just cleared her voice: "It's going to be lonely all this time. Not meeting you weekly..." She smiled sadly. Thorin smiled at her and nodded: "It will go fast. You will soon hear from us, and soon you will join us to Erebor. I will be so happy to welcome you back home, my dear friend."

Thinya just took a deep breath to hide the heartbreak she was going through. She didn't want to share her fears of losing him, her terror of hearing that Thorin Oakenshield died on a battlefield. If this ever happened, the dwarrow dam knew she wouldn't be able to survive another tragedy. Especially losing the one her heart chose secretly. "I hope you will succeed in this quest, Thorin. And when you become a King, I will be among the ones cheering for you." Thinya simply said, being a supportive friend as always. Thorin smiled at her nodded: "I know you will...." and with those words, the Prince stood up and walked out of the shop, the last preparations neede to be finalized before his departure. As he left, Thinya rested her head against the wall and cried silently. Her hand held the rare little gem close to her heart as she whispered: "Please Mahal... Keep them safe..."

It was time for the departure. Thorin made sure that no one was missing in the company. He bid farewell to his sister, who was destroyed by worry to see her brother and her two sons leave on a dangerous quest. He nodded his head respectfully to the group of dwarves who came to pay their respects, but his eyes scanned the environment, hoping to see Thinya. As he couldn't find her, her sighed disappointedly and simply looked at Dwalin and nodded. "Let's go." Dwalin looked at the company and motioned them to start the march.

Thorin was the last one to close the group. He looked one last time at the mountain, wondering if he would ever see the golden haired again. But right before he moved, he heard a voice calling for him: "THORIN!!". Thinya ran to him and stood before him. A part of her wanted to tell him about her feelings, how much she loved him and wanted him to return safe to her heart. She was breathing fast, her whole body felt nervous as her heart was screaming to her to say it. But the dwarrow dam gathered herself and simply looked at him in the eyes before giving him the tiny little ruby. "Please... Take this... Hopefully it will give you quiet and peace when you go through the darkest part of your journey. When you think you would appreciate an ale on our weekly meeting, look at this gem and imagine we share this weekly moment of laughter."

A soft smile came across her face as she nodded her head. "Please return safe... I will be looking forward to seeing my friend back." Thorin smiled at her and nodded, feeling that she wasn't telling him all the things she wanted to say. "Thank you, Thinya." He slowly slid the little ruby in his internal pocket, keeping it safe and close to his heart. "I will see you soon..." He reluctantly parted away from her, leaving her behind.

As he followed the rest of the group, Thorin glanced one last time at the mountain and looked at the image of this beautiful dwarrow dam he wished to have close to him for the rest of his life. Thinya looked at him, her heart broke in two and watching the man of her life leaving the mountain. A silent pray to Mahal was done by Thinya, begging him to protect the whole company and to make sure they reclaimed Erebor safely.

Both parted for a long time, both parted with unsaid things.

#( ✨ drabble )#( ✨ thorin x thinya )#( ✨ the hobbit )

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due4amiracle · 2 years

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Day 455

Oh, uh. Hi there, all like three of you Actual People who actually read this blog (for whatever reason, hi, i see you, thank you, i love you) and aren’t pronbots trying to get me to click malicious links. Whew. It’s been a week.

Listo:

Laundry/cleaning, Reading, Dailies, #TTRPGThings, Watching.

Laundry/cleaning - Laundry fully put away, ready for washing, garbage changed! ✔

Reading things - - 2 Ebooks for me, 1 Audiobook for Sir! ...Yea. 205 for the year, 11 for the month! - Shalador's Lady (The Black Jewels #8) by Anne Bishop 50%! We continue the Reread train! - The Shadow Queen (The Black Jewels #7) by Anne Bishop 100%! 5🌟 (Reread!) - Black Wings, Gray Skies (Black Hat Bureau #4) Hailey Edwards 100%! 3🌟 - Final Heir (Jane Yellowrock #15) by Faith Hunter 100%! 5🌟sobbing IT’S OVER i don’t like this. i don’t want this. i loved it. AHHHHHH it was so damn good. - Black Truth, White Lies (Black Hat Bureau #3) by Hailey Edwards 100%! 3🌟 - Black Arts, White Craft (Black Hat Bureau #2) by Hailey Edwards 100%! 3🌟 - Black Hat, White Witch (Black Hat Bureau #1) by Hailey Edwards 100%! 3🌟 UwU♡ ✔✔✔✔

Dailies - - Waifu Did mah dailies! Also, level 3/50 BP now~! AND! Tree lvl 40/50! Also! 27/43 max friendship namecards acquired! New MONTH! new weeklies! Gem thingy now level 9/10! ♡ω♡✔ i have been playing a bit of this here and there. But. Not much.

#TTRPGThings - Uh. Yea. Had a session, another session tomorrow? Maybe? Tentative because appointment. ✔

Watching things - - SAO Alicization: Season 2 - Episode 1/12! - Vancouver by Night: Season 1 - Episode 10/19! - New York by Night: Season 1 - Episode 8/8! T_T - 100 Club: Episode 5/??! So... behind... oh no... x_x;

Other things - Daily Diarrhea Diary - Decent. CPAP timer - i have worn it. Most of the nights. i think i’m 3/9 missables now. i’m not positive. But... yea. i’ve been.. sick. i was hoping that i would be able to swoop in here and tell you all about the appointment i had today but... ok so rolling it back a little bit

The Car: Sir noticed the trunk was stuck on Friday, which is not good. He contacted my grampa to ask for help from Gooddeeds. Yesterday someone came and fixed it! Yay! ...only they left the car door open which drained the battery completely. So. When we went to try to leave today for my appointment - the car was Dead. Fully battery drain. Yep.

Appointment: So here’s a list of Stuff The Appointment Is For, ye? It’s a lot. - 6/22 totally normal period ~5ish days. Unsure of finish date exactly. - 7/20-23 started very late the 19th/very early the 20th. Seemingly normal period, but shorter. - 7/28-31 bleeding, sort of normal period. Not Heavy heavy. - 8/7 bleeding, one day, enough to tampon throughout the day, but by the end of the day, done. - Wednesday (8/31) first started very faintly spotting, Thursday big sploosh day, Friday slow down trickle, Saturday ending spotting, Sunday the very faintest spotting, essentially done. - 9/10-12 spotting again. Other Things: - Left foot swelling. - See above for period things. Thought maybe ovarian cyst burst? Terrified/paranoid about ectopic pregnancy. - Lower left abdomen discomfort, border of pain/discomfort, never quite reaches pain (constant, more noticeable when i need to urinate, eases when i've urinated), very mild (both) kidney discomfort (comes and goes, is there much more often when i need to urinate, is almost never there when i do not). - 99% of the time at least mildly chilly, if not downright Cold. Sweater is best friend.

So, suffice it to say, i probably have a uti which my actually be developing into a kidney infection, i may have had an ovarian cyst pop or i may have an ectopic pregnancy (terrifying), my thyroid is out of control (i’m hypothyroid, low, so i’m Low Low apparently), the foot could be a lot of things that could also be delving into diabetes?!, and... yea. It’s a lot. Phew.

i’ve been really really not feeling well. So. That’s why i haven’t been posting. But here i am, posting. Oh and ontop of all of that my migraines are out of fucking control, so that’s fun. Blehhhhhhhhhhh.

i did take a shower today! That was lovely. Very excited about that. Very exhausted. Uh. yea. Stuff and things.

Food: A Liquid: A Pain: D Brain: D

Tomorrow: Laundry/cleaning, Reading, Dailies, #TTRPGThings, Watching.

Ever Onwards and Upwards!

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heliads · 2 years

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gonna request this horribly but…..part two to going out for a drive? maybe later in the movies so tony’s in therapy for his ptsd and is the driver to a date or something (though i know you’ll still spin this lmfao)

omg... going for a drive may be one of my fave fics, so i am so glad you requested this 😩

part one / masterlist

Tony Stark is sitting in a room with one other person, yet he still feels cripplingly alone. The clock has been ticking along behind him for about five minutes now, yet he’s no closer to an answer than he was when he first started.

Looking up from the hands crossed tightly in his lap, Tony regards the woman seated in front of him. According to her job description, she’s been practicing therapy for the past ten years, although Tony secretly harbors the belief that this must be an underestimate, because she’s staring at him with the pure judgmental prowess of a sphinx from that one Greek myth.

It’s not like he doesn’t deserve it, though. Tony is notorious for just making stupid jokes throughout his therapy sessions instead of actually saying what he’s supposed to say. Despite the fact that he knows full well that he’ll only get through all of this by actually facing it, Tony is terrified of facing it, so he escapes through poorly timed one-liners.

His latest therapist, a gem though she is, refuses to let this happen. She taps her pen once against her notebook, and repeats the question.

“How are you, Tony?”

It’s a deceptively simple thing to ask. Tony imagines that you could fit all sorts of things into that question- work inquiries, personal hygiene, whether or not he remembered to get coffee before he came here (always!), but he knows most of all that he is looking for excuses to not answer.

Tony glances outside of a nearby window, which offers the breathtaking view of a parking lot. For a moment, a car pulls up and he thinks he recognizes the make and model, thus designating this vehicle not as your average hunk of metal on wheels but as one driven by S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Y/N L/N, someone who Tony can quite confidently refer to as his favorite person in this entire universe, and possibly the next one over as well.

The moment disappears soon enough, as the driver takes a turn with none of Y/N’s usual skill, but even the reminder of her is enough. Tony tries to speak, and it comes easier this time.

“Better. I’m doing better.”

His therapist inclines her head, looking pleased that he’s not trying to falsify his way out of this. “Good to hear. Acknowledging progress is the best way to achieve more progress.”

Tony chuckles in spite of himself. “You have a way of making the most mundane things sound important. I appreciate it, it does a lot of good things to my ego. Of course, then a lot of people would argue that would be bad, but-”

His therapist cuts him off with a sharp glance and a sharper comment. “You’re referring to the Avengers, when you say ‘people,’ then?”

Tony grimaces out of habit, although he’s long since given up associating the Avengers with anything negative. As much as he’d love to deny it, especially when confronted with patriotic man of the century Steve Rogers, Tony likes the Avengers.

It’s the little things, he supposes. Natasha Romanoff’s sly one-liners, the fact that she’s the only person who’d hear his stupid sarcastic comments and say her own instead of chastising him on his obvious lack of moral qualms. Steve Roger’s irritated sigh, so fun to provoke. Working with Bruce Banner in the lab, except for that one time they intended to make a suit of armor around the world and accidentally created the latest in a long line of big bads. Tony had to come to his therapist’s office double time to get out of his head on that one.

“Yeah, the Avengers.”

Who else would it be? What other group of people has come so close to being something Tony could honestly consider a family? Sure, they fight like hell, and he’s certain that at some point they’ll realize the whole thing is a sham and pull the plug, but maybe Tony likes feeling not quite so alone in the process. Plus, Y/N says it makes him more of a hero than a part-time human weapon, so that’s really all the input Tony needs on that front.

His therapist nods, clicks her tongue once, then continues. “Do you think you will ever accept the Avengers’ forgiveness for the Ultron incident?”

Tony blinks in surprise. “Wow, we definitely hit a conversation changer there. Great segway from ‘how are you’ to ‘do your friends hate you,’ but I think we need to work on easy topic switches.”

His therapist refuses to let him off the hook, which is rude. “I didn’t say that they hated you. I merely asked if you would accept their forgiveness.”

Tony blows out a low breath. He has long trained himself to never need anyone; not their help, not their judgment, and certainly not something as foreign as their forgiveness. Obviously, Tony knows that he did a bad thing by letting Ultron loose, but that hadn’t been his intention.

“I think that depends on whether or not they see me as a control freak who wanted to creep in on everyone’s backyard or someone who wanted to make sure the world was safe.”

That’s the difference, isn’t it? Tony doesn’t want their forgiveness if they’re forgiving him for something that isn’t true. Either they understand him or they don’t, but he doesn’t want to be absolved of crimes he didn’t commit. Tony’s got too many actual mistakes to waste his reprieves on false assumptions.

His therapist nods, the light from a partially open window tracing out the silver strands in her otherwise nut brown hair. “Last time you said something similar about how you think the Avengers see your public persona and actual self as two separate people.”

Tony can see where this conversation topic is going. “Yes. I appreciate your thorough notetaking.”

A raised eyebrow from the woman across from him, and Tony continues with a sigh. “Alright, alright. Yeah, I think there’s a difference. Obviously, there’s a difference. The only problem is that I want there to be a difference. If everybody thinks I’m somebody and I’m not, that just makes it harder for them to hit me where it hurts. They’re looking for a mad scientist’s Achilles Heel, but that won’t be the same as mine.”

It feels more true the more he talks. Maybe Tony is laughably afraid of falling, maybe that’s just because he has seen so many people close to him fall that he’s not afraid of it, and that’s what scares him most. He lost his mother and father, he nearly lost Y/N, so why shouldn’t he be the next to go? Tony knows he’s going to die, and with his recent streak of luck, it probably won’t be of old age.

He still has things to do, though. At some point, he might be able to accept his fate, but not yet. There are still discoveries he has to make, still bridges he has to burn. If Tony has to fend off Death with his suit alone, so be it. At least he won’t go down without putting up a fight.

After a half hour longer of such pleasant thoughts, Tony sits up from his gunmetal gray sofa, nods goodbye to his therapist and once again considers why S.H.I.E.L.D. hasn’t used her as an interrogator (perhaps because they’re afraid she’ll dredge up their secrets as well, who knows), and heads out.

A car pulls up the second he arrives, and Tony gets in with a smile. He leans over to kiss his driver before settling back into his seat.

“I think I’ve got half the waiting room jealous of me, you know. They can sense that I’ve got the prettiest chauffeur in town.”

Y/N laughs, and Tony could live and die in that very sound. “Or it’s because they can’t see my face through the tinted windows and are too busy admiring the make and model of your latest sports car.”

Tony pretends to think, then shakes his head. “Nah, I don’t think so. They can sense that there’s someone worthwhile in this car. I think you’ve altered the gravity of this planet to center around you, I nearly tripped coming down the stairs because of it.”

Y/N shakes her head, although she’s grinning. “You’re such a dork.”

Tony clasps a hand to his chest in mock horror. “Dork? That can’t be. You wound me, Agent.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, pulling away from the office building and heading into the busy streets. “At least it’ll give you something to talk about. How was today’s meeting, by the way? Legally, I have to ask in case you gave away any state secrets. Did you?”

Tony glances absentmindedly at the city rushing by beside him. He used to be so stressed about having someone else in the driver’s seat, as if his hands weren’t actively on the wheel there was no guarantee that he wouldn’t find himself in a situation like the one that killed his parents.

Now, though, it feels as easy as breathing. He knows Y/N isn’t going to get killed, or get him killed either. He isn’t good at trust, but he can trust her without a shadow of a doubt. All the while, she still manages to make him smile.

“No state secrets spilled today, I’m afraid. If you like, I can pepper nuclear arms codes into my conversations just so you have something to do on slow afternoons.”

Y/N taps her fingers against the steering wheel as she waits for a light to turn red. “Tempting, but no. The amount of paperwork I’d have to do would get rid of any delight from storming your therapist’s office. Plus, I think she’d be decidedly less happy to see you the next time around.”

Tony can concede this point. “Ah, it was worth a shot. Speaking of time management, though, you better have taken off this Saturday night as we planned. I’ve pulled so many strings that my phone lines are starting to look like a game of cat’s cradle.”

Y/N smirks. “Don’t worry about me, I never have more joy than when I get to cancel a meeting.”

Good, good. Tony has plans, specifically plans with her, and he does not intend on letting anything come in between this. He’s already had to work around his life as an Avenger, her life as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, his PTSD therapy, her HYDRA car accident physical therapy, and just about everything else the world has thrown at them. Needless to say, he won’t be allowing something like a meet and greet ruin this date.

It is a date, after all. Tony can admit, both in the private space of his head and when he’s with Y/N, that he loves her. Shit, he does. Past Tony would have said that he doesn’t like needing people, but he does need Y/N. He knew that when HYDRA crashed their car all that time ago and he thought he would have to get up and walk around in a world without her- it just wouldn’t work out.

Luckily for him, Y/N has a wide variety of tastes in men, which includes sleep-deprived engineers with too much money on their hands, so Tony has a shot. He spilled his heart out to her once she got out of the emergency room. She said that she felt the exact same thing, which is the biggest miracle the world has ever seen since the first tetrapods left the oceans to come walk on land and cause humans to evolve, or possibly when Queen came back from their 1983 hiatus.

Tony decides to switch things around, just because, and picks Y/N up on Saturday night from her non-disclosed apartment, the one he’s not supposed to know exists.

Y/N arches a brow at him as she gets in the passenger's side of the car. “I thought I was the one supposedly driving you places.”

Tony waves away her concern. “You do every other day of the year. This is my treat.”

She grins, he can see the curve of her lips in the darkness. “I feel like a wealthy superstar. Possibly a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”

Tony’s mouth drops open in pretend horror. “Don’t quote that to me. I was being dramatic. It was very exciting at the moment.”

Y/N laughs. “Oh, I know. Natasha Romanoff came to talk to me about it later.”

Tony hazards a glance over at her when they’re stopped at a light. “And? What did she say?”

Y/N returns his gaze with equal fervor. “She said that you were a touch theatrical, but could get the job done if necessary. I said that you were more than just a little theatrical, but she was right. You’re an important part of the team, Tony. That’s no lie.”

Tony hums in agreement, although he can’t deny that he’s pleased to hear that she has such candid faith in him. “I should hope so. The amount of money I’ve spent making their suits alone is astronomical.”

They arrive at the date soon enough, a restaurant Tony reserved a couple months in advance. It’s supposedly one of the best places in the city, so Tony can only hope it’s worth all the talk. Tony helps Y/N out of the car, taking advantage of the moment to keep her hand tucked in his arm like a proper couple, and they head inside.

In making the reservation, Tony also had the opportunity to choose where they would sit, and he's not above paying a little extra money to get the best possible spot. The restaurant was formerly some bankrupt millionaire’s mansion, and it has a small widow’s walk on the roof, just wide enough for a table and a couple chairs.

This is where they’ll be sitting, on top of this brilliant place, looking around at the city unfurling below them. Tony’s used to heights, as the amount of skyscrapers in New York is astronomical, but on this mansion roof, it seems different. He can read this place like a map, trace his finger down brightly lit streets and pause at every intersection for some sort of memory. It hits him how much time he’s spent in this city, how many people he’s met. Of everything, though, there’s only one person who really, truly matters, and she’s sitting opposite him right now.

Y/N smiles, as if she can tell that it’s her name currently on repeat in his head. “It’s a wonderful view. Thank you, Tony, for tonight. I mean it.”

Tony smiles back, reaching across the table so he can take her hand. “Hey, anything for my favorite agent. You may save my life a dozen times a day, but I can get us a sweet restaurant outing.”

Y/N laughs. “In a world like ours, I’d choose a date like this any time.”

She sighs, and the night breeze rips the sound away into the surrounding skyline. “I love you, Tony. More than anything.”

At times like this, Tony’s heart feels so full that he thinks he might overpower his arc reactor. “I love you too, Y/N.”

And, God, he does. Tony hasn’t known a peace like this in what feels like years. She knows every facet of him, and there is no truth he hasn’t told, but she stays. How’d he get lucky enough for this?

The night wears on, the lights of the city burst and fade, but they stay. Dawn will come later, but Tony’s counting on the stars to push back the coming of the sun for just a little longer. He wants to treasure this moment as long as he can.

marvel tag list: @thatfangirl42, @rogueanschel, @mycosmicparadise, @ellobruv-blog, @caswinchester2000, @with-inked-solace, @sher-lokid7, @amortensie

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opalesense · 3 years

Text

the last appointment

zhongli & gn!reader

3.4k words • ~25 min. read

summary: as a studious and credible fortune teller in liyue, you discover something about your last client of the week that completely derails your outlook on life.

warnings: liyue arc spoilers, little bit of existential dread, slight mention of family member’s death

notes: might make more parts to this idk? just kinda wanted to dip my toes into genshin writing for the first time!!

LIFE IN LIYUE HARBOUR seemed to be repetitive and mundane. For the past few years, you would wake up, open your fortune telling shop, analyze the futures of your clients using your geomancy, possibly take a stroll around Liyue when you needed to run errands, and then call it a day. You performed the same routine constantly, sometimes travelling beyond the harbor to collect crystals and magical supplies for your shop, but rarely did anything truly change in your routine. If something was off in the slightest, it was never too exciting to note.

As anyone would have suspected, you were tired of your state of limbo in life. Other vision holders seemed to be going on adventures, travelling with companions and exploring the vast mountains and valleys of Teyvat. Other vision holders seemed to be fighting against evil, helping citizens, and saving the world from imminent dangers. You could even recall a recent event where the Qixing had evacuated the harbor to defeat a terrifying sea monster. The Jade Chamber had been sacrificed for the safety of the people of Liyue, and yet here you were, playing with a bunch of rocks for a living. Despite being able to grasp the glowing Geo vision that held your coat together, you could not grasp why you felt doomed to tend to this shop for the rest of your days.

You didn’t know where or how to “start” your life. The small, inherited establishment from your late aunt was located in the small alley of Chihu Rock, practically out of sight from most of the foot traffic in the harbor. Not many people came to visit, though your name was still decently known. In fact, most of your appointments were simply previous clients from your aunt, regulars that relied on her readings for years and believed you were the next best thing after she passed. Especially considering you were the first vision holder in your family, it made your credibility even stronger.

You still remember how you got your vision. The morning after your aunt had passed, the elemental gift somehow made its way into your hand as if the timing was meant to be perfect. You didn’t celebrate such a special and momentous occasion with pride or joy. Your face stiff with tears, you instead reflected on why you received your vision at that moment in the first place. With the shop doors closed upstairs, you gripped your vision and did what you felt needed to be done. With your family’s legacy and tradition on the line, adventuring like other vision wielders was not a priority at the time.

But after years alone of research, a social life consisting only of interacting with customers, and a constant state of grieving the experiences you could’ve had in your youth, you were now in your late twenties and closing the shop for the day. Your last appointment was either extremely late or not showing up at all and you were tired of working today, just like every other day. Regret gripped you tightly as you wondered how you managed to get yourself in such a boring, slow burning loop.

That is until the shop door opened, eliciting a gasp from you at the sudden noise, shattering the previous thought. You accidentally dropped the basket of cor lapis you were refilling and immediately knelt down to pick up the precious pieces that thankfully hadn’t cracked on the way down.

“Hello, [Y/N],” the tall figure practically glided through the doorway, “My deepest apologies for being late.”

He closed the door behind him, “...and for startling you, it seems.”

You sighed, checking for any scratches on the gems and sighed again with relief based on the good results. You grinned to hide the fact you had just been in deep thought. “It’s quite alright, Mr. Zhongli. It’s kind of you to stop by at the very least, even if you’re late.”

Mr. Zhongli was one of your aunt’s longtime clients. Since you were a child, your aunt had always described Mr. Zhongli as a complex yet thoughtful man that had always shown kindness to your family for many years. When Mr. Zhongli learned of your aunt’s death and began to receive readings from you instead, you quickly realized what your aunt meant by calling him complex. Mr. Zhongli was truly a tough nut to crack in every single reading, his sessions taking longer than most other cases. That is why Mr. Zhongli would always offer to take the last spot of the day at the end of every week as to not trouble any of your other clients.

As you took a few of the best cor lapis from the basket, you could see Mr. Zhongli’s acts of kindness and thoughtfulness unfold in front of you. He seemed to carry what was now clearly a gift basket at closer inspection.

“This gift is for you,” Mr. Zhongli took a few steps forward to set the basket on a countertop. “I brought you your favorites. Slow cooked bamboo shoot soup, qingxin, glaze lilies, and all the crystals I could find… needless to say, let this be a token of my appreciation for your patience and hard work from our last few sessions. I know I am not the easiest to read, but you truly have a talent.”

You were speechless at the gesture as your eyes sunk into the intricate detail of the handwoven basket and decorated items inside. No one had ever done something so kind for you in so long. It was astonishing enough that he remembered your favorite soup that you mentioned only once a few months ago, let alone your favorite flowers and crystals as well. “Thank you so much, Mr. Zhongli! I’m at a loss for words – this is so thoughtful of you!”

“I even brought you that Rex Incognito series you had mentioned, although, I am not sure why you would need to read the series when I am fully capable of educating you on the history of Rex Lapis myself,” he flaunted, taking his seat on the cushioned chair in front of the reading table.

“Now, Mr. Zhongli...” you picked out some prithiva topaz from another basket, following the usual protocol you had with such a personalized, frequent client like him. The required materials for his readings were imprinted into your memory like carvings in stone. “You know I don’t want to burden you with my curiosity. And with such an intriguing topic like Rex Lapis... once I start asking questions I’m afraid I will not stop.”

“I have all the time in the world,” he got comfortable in his seat as you sat yourself across from him, “I truly think it would benefit you to discuss the history of Rex Lapis with a learned scholar such as myself. We can even have some tea as we discuss.”

You chuckled at his eagerness. He seemed more forward than usual. “You are too kind, Mr. Zhongli. Perhaps I’ll take that offer someday, but at least let me put those books to good use first. Maybe I won’t need to bombard you with questions if I’m already well briefed on the subject.”

He sighed happily. “You make a good point. And you will enjoy them, I’m sure.”

You settled into your seat as you arranged the crystals between the two of you. “The usual for tonight?”

“Yes, please.”

Your hands meticulously placed the last crystal in its spot on the surface. You closed your eyes and hovered your hands above the rocks, clearing your mind to make way for the usual reading: a reflection on the past, any significant events of the present to focus on, and some insight into the future. You held this hand gesture for awhile, letting the energy from the rocks lift into the air and envelop your gloved palms. When you felt there was enough energy to work with, you opened your eyes to reveal the manifestation of his thoughts in front of you, able to take its physical form using the powers from your glowing vision.

No one had ever taught your this skill, not even your aunt. If you had to bloat your own ego, one could say you invented this Geo fortune telling process yourself. The process indeed came to you naturally, a true display of pure talent.

You slowly lifted your hands to allow the visual manifestation to settle on the table among the gems so Mr. Zhongli could watch his reading unfold in front of him as well.

“Let us analyze the past first,” he spoke, already knowing the routine without you needing to ask him where to start. You slowly waved your hands as if you were digging a hole in sand on a beach, the manifestation displaying ambiguous patterns that wouldn’t make sense to any commoner’s eyes but could be interpreted easily by yours.

Two pairs of focused eyes fixated on the picture as you spoke your mind out loud. “You have recently given up something extremely important to you, it seems. I see you handing over something… small, physically, yet unbelievably significant and personal. I can’t tell what it is exactly, only that it glows like the sun with its energy. But you have handed this important object over to a very... evil... figure?” you cocked your eyebrow, confused. “You seem to be brooding over the fact that its aura is dark with malicious intentions.” You hesitated, “Well, that can’t be right, can it?”

He sighed. “Unfortunately, that is indeed what happened recently. But it had to be done.”

“Didn’t we talk about a similar situation in a previous reading? If I remember correctly, I thought I had advised you to not give up whatever that object was.”

“I am aware of the consequences that will follow. Especially with your future guidance, I’m sure the events following this one questionable decision will unfold in a better way soon enough.”

“I will always be here to help you, Mr. Zhongli. But please be careful in the future with these decisions. The importance of this object seems to be off the charts.”

He nodded. “It is as you say. Please, have faith in me now. I cannot change what happened in the past, after all.”

You hovered over this image of the sacrifice. You couldn’t make out what this object was, no matter how close you tried to inspect it. It had the likings of a chess piece, but surely this wasn’t simply a chess piece, was it?

“Let us move on, if that is alright with you,” his low voice cut the silence.

You wiped the image from your mind and waved your hands again, as if you were slowly putting the sand back into the hole you dug before. If the last image wasn’t enough bad news, this new one that formed was even more painful to witness.

“You have been grieving your losses very recently,” you said gently. “Your mind is currently weighed down by your past. I see you looking out at the sea in deep thought. There are flashes of…”

You stopped as you inspected the graphic images that suddenly appeared beyond your hands. You gasped at the terrifying horrors.

“What is it?” the low voice tried to search for understanding of what you were seeing. Even though the image was clearly laid out in front of him, it was still too ambiguous to tell when he lacked your years of experience.

“There are flashes of war,” your breath stifled as you watched his thoughts splayed out in images of lifeless bodies and destruction. “Very graphic details of war and death. Mr. Zhongli, I believe this image of suffering has been weighing over your mind like an anchor in the sea.”

He paused to process your comparison. “That is... a very good way to put it.”

“Though, I believe that despite the sorrow that emanates in this image, you are in a state of relief and tranquility. It seems you are grieving, but you are simultaneously at peace,” you hesitated again, “Yet I wonder what these graphic images of war are meant to represent. Surely we are not in an actual war, are we? Perhaps you are at war with your past, wanting to move on but haunted by your memories?”

Mr. Zhongli unfortunately knew the images you were seeing were, in fact, real events he had experienced in his life time and the truth was that lately he had been reminiscing on these events. Mortal life is kind to humans for them to be blissfully unaware and carefree of these harsh realities, he internally commented.

He still put your analysis into thought, though.

“I am haunted, indeed. I have been attempting to come to terms with my troubled past, just as you advised me only a few weeks ago. I have tried to follow your guidance, and although they resurface what I have been trying to repress, I believe I am coming to peace with what happened.”

You grinned. “That is very good to hear, Mr. Zhongli. I believe you are currently making good progress when it comes to moving on. Just remember that it is okay to remember your sorrow. Let your emotions pass through you instead of repressing them or rushing to move on. It is okay to take your time and let the thoughts bubble inside of you for awhile.”

He closed his eyes as you continued, letting your advice seep in. You continued. “Imagine the stillness of the sea. Many creatures and lost remnants take their place in the depths of the waters, but on the surface we see constantly moving yet serene waves wash over what is hidden below. Your memories are there to stay, Mr. Zhongli. But your present self, the surface of the water, can peacefully coexist with whatever is hiding deep within. Let these thoughts weigh you down momentarily, but rest assured, you will find balance and acceptance in due time.”

His eyes fluttered open as he reflected over your words. You always seemed to know what to say. “Your words have truly resonated with me, [Y/N]. And you are absolutely correct. I have been fighting these memories to avoid the pain, but it had not dawned on me that sorrow is... what I am meant to feel, not push away. I suppose your advice has put my mind at a bit more ease, and I suppose I am focusing too much on when I will be able to move on rather than allowing my thoughts to coexist for a moment.”

“Now you’re getting it,” you grinned with the relief that washed over his face.

“Shall we move on?” he offered.

You got to work on the last segment of the reading. If manifesting the other images didn’t take long enough, reading one’s future always took the longest. Interpreting an event that hasn’t happened yet always made you a bit nervous with your words. You never wanted to let a client down with an inaccurate reading.

On the contrary, this reading, despite taking quite awhile to appear on the surface on the table, was very clear.

“That is undoubtedly an image of me,” your eyes glazed over the facial features of the person in the manifestation. “I apologize for the delay, Mr. Zhongli, I must have accidentally let my thoughts seep into yours–“

“Do not fret, I believe this is accurate,” he interrupted. “Keep going.”

Your perplexed expression remained as you continued the reading. “I am admittedly stumped. There is nothing left in this image. I suppose it is simply me standing in what looks like some ruins. I am holding a staff, or some kind of long object.” You paused to think out loud. “Why am I in your reading? What could this possibly mean?”

Mr. Zhongli chuckled as you thought out loud. “Perhaps this is a good time to tell you why you are in my thoughts.”

“I’d love to hear it, I have never appeared in someone’s reading in my last decade and a half of experience. This is quite unique.”

He folded his hands in his lap, “For some reason, I have had this strange vision of training you. I’m not sure why, since you don’t seem like the fighting type, but there is some voice inside me that is telling me you are destined for something great and i need to take some part in it. What do you think, now that you see this vision as well?”

Your eyebrows rose in shock. “Training me? I guess this does relate to something I have been pondering as of late. I do not want to lay out my troubles on you though, my job is to interpret your life, not mine.”

“Our lives have clearly intertwined in this vision,” he insisted, “Please do not hold back for my sake. I have the time.”

You thought for a moment. How could you form the words without seeming too selfish? How could you maintain professionalism by talking about your personal problems?

“I am not the fighting type, Mr. Zhongli. Though, lately I have been quite depressed about the fact that I am not doing as much with my vision as other vision holders are. My life is uninteresting. The truth is that I am a simple fortune teller that plays with rocks. I hope you can understand why I am failing to interpret this reading,” you apologized. “It’s because this doesn’t seem characteristic of me at all. And with all due respect, after giving you readings for years, I would have never guessed you were versed in combat to train me!”

He chuckled. “I respectfully disagree. To tell you the truth, your talents surpass the abilities of many other vision holders. Not everyone can read thoughts or tell the future. Now that I mention it, I know of one talented astrologist in Mondstadt, but think about that. You are one in hundreds of thousands in Teyvat,” he reassured. “You did not receive your vision for no reason and I truly believe you are destined for something big. I regret not being able to realize this before.”

“How are you so sure of this? I would love to believe you, but I’m afraid I am not destined for much, really. Again, I am simply a fortune teller. What could I possibly do for Liyue other than read some rocks?”

He sighed and connected his palms with yours, interrupting the reading and wiping the manifestation off the table. The hovering crystals dropped onto the surface, making you gasp at the sudden sound.

“I am not who you think I am,” his amber eyes finally met yours for the first time this evening, which sent a chill down your spine. “Promise me you will not fret, for what I am about to show you may shock you.”

“What do you mean? What are you doing, Mr. Zhongli?” you slightly panicked as he firmly grasped your hands.

Suddenly, the room was engulfed in golden light that emitted from the seat across from you. Scattered, distorted images of a mystical dragon, a devastating war, and seven seats in Celestia flashed across your eyes as you stared at the beams of light. Death seemed to swallow you, but not take you. The baskets of crystals around the room shook with the surge of energy. The world seemed to destroy itself then remake itself over and over again within fleeting moments. These thousands of years of memories made your body tremble. It all happened within fleeting moments, and after a few seconds of your senses being overwhelmed, you finally pulled yourself together and connected the dots.

His expanded knowledge of Liyue’s history. The sudden gift of your vision immediately after your aunt passed. Grieving his losses and having flooded thoughts of war and death. Offering combat training. Remembering your favorites the same way he would remember Liyue’s customs and traditions. His glowing amber eyes alone.

Mr. Zhongli was the God of Contracts and overseer of Liyue. Rex Lapis, a being that lived for millennia, sat in the seat across from you. He had been posing as a mere mortal for years, taking readings as if he were any normal customer. The realization shook you to your core as you sat there bewildered, grateful, and horrified at the same time.

He let go of your hands after seeing that the information successfully processed in your mind. He saw something in you that was yet to be awakened, where the sky was the limit under your own expectations. This daydream of his was no simple vision – it was a calling. Internally, whether you agreed to it or not, he vowed that he would not leave your life until your true destiny was fulfilled.

He would see this vow fulfilled by offering you a contract that would change the course of your life forever.

#zhongli #zhongli x reader #genshin impact #rex lapis #mine #boom #genshin impact x reader

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lananiscorner · 2 years

Text

FE3H DimiMari Playthrough - Maddening ch. 16-18: PTSD Stands For ‘Paralogue Trauma Stress Disorder’

Welcome to my DimiMari playthrough--my first Maddening playthrough with the extra difficulty of no NG+ and only being allowed to use Holy Knights Dimitri and Marianne!

Today, we look at how chapters 16 to 18 went beneath the cut.

Chapter 16:

This is an exciting chapter, since I will get Lorenz and Dedue back at the end of it at last. The beginning of the month is incredibly uneventful by comparison, starting with a day without any special events, so I choose to battle here and knock out another 3 extra reward battles for stat boosters and XP. My first exploration session happens in week 2 instead, where there is an event going on that boosts support gained from fish dishes. Gilbert gives me a supply run quest that requires 1 Arcane Crystal and 2 Noa Fruits, so he's gonna have to wait a couple of months for those lol. I cook with Marianne, then spend the remaining 7 points boosting as many supports as I can. Lysithea & Hanneman as well as Yuri & Balthus max out their supports, so that's 2 pairs I don't have to worry about anymore. 13 left to go…

I also complete the Saint Statue upgrades in this exploration session, so starting in chapter 17, I will spend my renown on Abyss. I would love to battle again in week 3, but there's a Fistful of Fish event going on and I will need that fish for support farming, so... here we go with more fishing, this time specifically aimed at catching the kind of fish needed for meals--Albinean Hering, White Trout, Teutates Loach, and Caledonian Gar (this is why I have kept on buying up all the bait each month). This means unlike my fishing session in chapter 9, where I was aiming for red and golden fish shadows to achieve maximum professor points, I am aiming for dark and pale blue this time, since those are the only types that can give meal sharing fish, and end up with 99 of all meal-relevant fish.

Here we go again.

I think I have enough fish now.

I also have my two teas with Marianne here, then boost some more supports. Week 4 has another meal event, so I explore again. RIP stat boosters. Sylvain & Ingrid, Alois & Mercedes, Raphael & Hilda all max out their relationships this day. I also make sure to have a meal with Annette and Gilbert, so I can get access to their paralogue, since it is the earliest one to expire.

And so I finally make it to the bridge of Myrrdin. Most enemies in this map are fairly slow, so I am not too worried about Dimitri nor Marianne, especially since I recruited Ferdinand. What worries me is that Dedue will rejoin the battle just before reinforcements appear, and while I got him on a wyvern specifically to keep him out of trouble, I know from experience during my Felannie run on Hard that this will be easier said than done. Since Mercedes has reached the ranks for Dark Flier, which has more MOV than Pegasus Knight, I put her as Dimitri's adjutant with the Experience Gem.

Unfortunately, I forgot that the enemy that spawns at the ballista has ridiculous range and so Byleth takes a hit, necessitating a restart. This time, I make sure to move both her and Dedue south ASAP so they can chill over the water. The northern chest will just have to wait until most of the enemies are gone. Outside of those reinforcements, the most annoying thing on this map honestly is the Bishop that keeps on healing the demonic beasts. The beasts being immune to critical hits while their barriers are intact is annoying, but not too dangerous, and soon this map is cleared. Now I finally have Lorenz and Dedue back!

Chapter 17:

I am not going to lie--this chapter terrifies me. While I recruited everyone I could right out from underneath Edelgard's and Claude's noses, I remember the clusterfuck that was the Battle of the Eagle and Lion in part 1. It nearly made me quit my run and I have no reason to believe that it will be any easier this time.

Since there is nothing noteworthy going on during the first free day, I choose to battle, especially so I can complete the quest that gets the Dark Merchant into the monastery. I do another 2 DLC auxiliary battles after that, then explore in week 2 to finally buy Arcane Crystals and forge all my Levin Swords into Levin Swords+, as well as have teas with Marianne, cook for the SPD boost, and start boosting Dedue's and Lorenz's supports with their partners (Shamir and Manuela), now that I finally have them back. Finally, I let the Mysterious Teacher in Abyss verify that my Marianne is a certified badass:

Arcane Crystals, my beloveds!

Now that I finally have my lovely, lovely Levin Swords+, I can tackle some of the paralogues that have been piling up. I am planning to do two per month, so I will have time to finish them all while not being as stressed as pre time skip. I decide to start with Dividing the World (Hilda and Cyril), since it has been sitting in my battle log for months, and expires in chapter 19. This one is impossible solo, since you need to save at least one of four allies WHILE defending a conquest zone AND keeping Hilda and Cyril out of trouble. I know it is doable with two Wyvern Lords, so let's see if it can be done with two Holy Knights.

Since there are flying beasts in this map, I send Marianne to the left side of the map with a Levin Sword+ and a Magic Bow+, as well as an Evasion Ring and Close Counter in place of Movement+1, while Dimitri runs up the front to fight the enemies there, then makes his way to the right to save the ally. Unfortunately, this dude dies way too fast on Maddening, not to mention that Marianne somehow gets hit by two 20% Fusilade gambits in a row, and then critted by a Paladin. I rewind a turn and let Marianne wait instead of attacking the bird beast on the left. I also send Dimitri straight ahead to hopefully lure the enemies that are over there. Sadly, my final ally dies on turn 3, so I rewind again, send Marianne up the middle, from where she should be able to heal the ally on the right, and Dimitri to the left. This puts him in the path of many gambits, but I need a healer with Physic in the middle. This unfortunately also fails, as the allies just die way too fast. I reset and decide to take Marianne to the right immediately. Dimitri will have to lure the enemies from the front, then take care of the ones on the left. Hopefully.

Unfortunately, the allies in this map are made of paper, in spite of being Armored Knights, and so this strategy fails as well. I reload one more time, give Marianne a Stride battalion, and decide to send Dimitri to the right, while she takes care of the first two enemies in the middle. This ALSO fails (there is a Sniper near the right-hand ally that somehow deals a whooping 2 x 17 damage, which is just too much for the allies, so I reload again, with a wide range battalalion for Marianne, send her up the front and resolve to let her try to keep at least one of the two middle allies alive. Sadly, that too fails.

This fucking Sniper right there. 17 x 2 damage on Armored Knights + Poison Strike--what the actual fuck.

After many, many, many retries with a lot of different setups and starting positions, I come to the conclusion that the only way to keep at least one of these allies alive in Maddening, with only two people who are not fliers, is to have one of your fighters start out near Cyril (I managed to keep one of the two allies there alive like that), but even Dimitri--amazing king of enemy phase slaying that he is, cannot defend the conquest zone against enemies from 3 sides all on his lonesome forever, as the zone is 5 tiles wide and enemies WILL rush to end their turns on one of those tiles as soon as they can.

I eventually manage to devise a strategy that almost works, if Marianne had more MOV, so I give her back her Movement+1 and her March Ring, and try again. This ALMOST works out, as Marianne manages to clear out the enemies surrounding the two allies, get over to Dimitri in time to Fusilade some invaders and then rush back into healing range to save the last ally... only for her Physic to restore exactly 1 HP less than the last enemy near the ally would do in damage. I try to get Byleth over to her to give her a Healing Staff for extra healing power, but moving Byleth out of the southwest corner of the map causes the commander to change flight plans as well and head for the ally.

This line gets very old, very quickly. Hilda, please tell your brother to provide better armor to his soldiers, thanks.

So, I reset again, give Marianne a Healing Staff from the start, and do the whole thing again. It still took a few more resets, because there is some luck involved in where the Paladins go and how much damage they do, but here is the general strategy that led to success, in case anyone is mad enough to want to try it themselves:

Have one character (A) with at least 10 MOV and a wide range, 2-uses battalion like the King of Lions Corps, who can reliably one-round-KO enemies and take out a full monster health bar on enemy phase near Hilda's starting position (Dimitri).

Have a second character (B) with at least 10 MOV, who has Physic, a Fusilade gambit and a 3 range weapon starting out behind Cyril (Marianne with Levin Sword+).

Turn 1: take A up the center juuuuust enough to lure the bird and all four nearby enemies (two Paladins, an Archer and a Warrior). Have B ride up to lure the Paladin and Archer to the right of the double allies. If either of those allies dies, restart. Move Hilda and Byleth ALL the way to the right.

Turn 2: Kill the first bird with A, then head back to the start and to the right (when facing the entrance) juuuust far enough to lure ONLY the second bird. Have B kill one of the archers near the allies and lure the approaching Warrior (and ideally the second archer). If one of the allies dies, restart. Keep moving Hilda and Byleth to the two southwestern most tiles.

Turn 3: With A, gambit the bird’s broken tile and the enemies behind. One Paladin will remain unrattled. Ride up to the second conquest zone tile from the left to force the Paladin to attack when trying to conquer. With character B, ride towards the entrance and make sure to stay in range of the Sniper and AT LEAST one of the southern Paladins. Two of those four will try to claim the conquest zone, the other two will go for your allies, together with the two Paladins near the commander. If you do not take out at least one of these, your allies will be toast. Chuck a Physic at whichever of the two allies needs it most. Start moving Cyril north.

Turn 4: With A, kill the Warrior in range of the conquest zone, then ride south just far enough to lure the approaching Paladin. With B, continue towards the entrance, throw one more Physic at the allies.

Turn 5: With A, gambit the enemies approaching the conquest zone from the north again. Another Paladin will likely have crept up the south. Move in his range. Move just out of range of the gambited enemies with B and heal yourself if necessary. At this point, the Paladins around the commander and the fourth one from the south will likely move in on your allies. The commander himself should move west to try and head for Byleth in the southwest corner, ignoring your allies.

Turn 6: Gambit the remaining enemies north of the conquest zone (should be three) with character B, ideally with a Fusilade battalion, so you can save some MOV, then move B back up the center. One of the gambited enemies should die. Put A in range of the other two.

Turn 7: Head further east with B and cast Physic at the allies--they'll likely need it by now. There should be two Wyvern Riders near A along the western border just north of the conquest zone now. Kill the one closer to the zone and park A on the second conquest tile from the left, to force the other one to attack you on enemy phase.

Turn 8: With B, head further north. Be careful to avoid the commander, unless you are confident you can kill him and a Paladin. Keep throwing Physic. Try to get in range of the Paladins.

Turn 9: Move Byleth and Hilda north again before the commander can get them. Lure commander with A. With B, keep healing allies and rushing into range of Paladins.

Get drunk when you inevitably finish the map much to your own amazement.

You have no idea how many hours it took to get this line.

With this madness out of the way, I decide to tackle another paralogue: Weathervanes of Fodlan. This one is easy to miss, if you never raise support between Gilbert and Annette, since it expires in chapter 18. I got Annette into Dark Flier and Gilbert onto a wyvern specifically for this, because while the enemies near them don't move at the start, as soon as you enter the northwest area or reach turn 10 or defeat all the southern Fortress Knights, several enemies will start moving, usually towards Annette, so you will definitely want to have her in a high MOV class. The AS on some of the enemies here is scary (especially the Swordmasters and Assassins), so I decide to send Dimitri east, while Marianne slowly goes north. I divine pulse once because I accidentally triggered the reinforcements too early, but aside from that, this paralogue was smooth as butter. I round off this week by doing another auxiliary battle for a stat booster, then proceed to week 4.

There's a meal event going on in this week (the Spice Festival), so I explore again and try to boost support as much as possible. I end up with 1 extra point, which I use to let Marianne breeze through the magic tournament. Alois actually manages to get his required ranks for Warmaster just through classroom training this week, so I'll put him as Dimitri's Experience Gem adjutant in the next story map.

At last, the time has come. I hope and pray that this time won’t be as horrible as chapter 7, but a quick look at the map tells me that those Pegasus Knights will definitely be able to double both my Holy Knights and Marianne won’t be able to double any of the Warlocks or Paladins either. I know there will be reinforcements coming in from the north and northeast, so getting Byleth onto the hills in the northwest ASAP is key and will require clearing out the two imperial Pegasus Knights. Thus, I send Dimitri west and Marianne towards the hill where she camps out in the tiny forest, baiting Fortress Knights and Paladins. I am not worried about the fire trap, since Holy Knight has Terrain Resistance.

Thankfully, one of the imperial Paladins decided to run straight into the northern reinforcements, so I don’t have to worry about those for a turn. What IS worrisome is the fact that Claude moves unprovoked in Maddening, so with Hubert and the imperial Paladins/Pegasus Knights taken care of, Dimitri heads back east to take on Claude and co. Hilariously, Edelgard gives her “those fools who went up the hill�� speech twice for some reason. While I take no damage from the fire, getting rattled IS annoying. Thankfully, Claude does not try to gambit Dimitri, so I crit him right out of the sky. Two turns later, the remaining Alliance enemies are gone and I can focus on the last 2 Dark Mages and demonic beasts of the empire. Marianne’s 3 range with the Levin Sword+ comes in very handy here, as it allows me to break beast armors without fear of counter attacks.

The worst part of this map honestly comes at the very end. Edelgard’s 57 Charm is pretty scary when I haven’t been able to have tea with Dimitri to raise his charm stat (currently at 48), so trying to bait her on enemy phase is not a great idea. She has Counterattack and a 10 percent crit chance, which would kill Marianne, so I don’t want to soften her up with her either, and if she hits Dimitri, his Fraldarius Soldiers battalion will lose a ton of health (which is not good—it’s currently at 34/105, just how I like it). To add insult to injury, I get Byleth over to the chest… only to realize that I forgot to buy chest keys, and this is a run where I wanted to 100% everything as much as possible. So… I choose to attack Edelgard with Dimitri, save after the battle is over, and then reload my pre battle save to buy chest keys and try again. It doesn’t end quite as perfectly as the last run (Dimitri’s battalion is now at 21/105 and Marianne had to use 2 Elixirs), but aside from that, this battle was so much easier than I had feared.

Also, I finally get to watch Dimitri recover from his psychotic episode and Felix calling him by his name for once, which is always Big Feels™:

Chapter 18:

Chapter 18 begins with supports to watch, including Dimitri and Marianne’s A support. It is always such a relief to finally see Dimitri’s portrait show up in Goals/Support again. There are meal events (Bitter Eats and Morale Meals) in weeks 2 and 4, so I choose to battle in the first week, doing more auxiliaries for stat boosters. I explore in week 2 instead, have my monthly teas with Marianne and now Dimitri as well, make use of the meal event and cook with Dimitri for SPD. The Mysterious Teacher is equally as impressed with Dimitri as he was with Marianne. Ferdinand and Bernadetta reach their A support today thanks to the meals. Ashe and Cyril reach A after their next Skywatch session. Six pairs left to go…

Dimitri was in Assassin class for this because I was doing auxiliary battles for more of those sweet, sweet stat boosters. lol

In week 3, I battle again, choosing to do one auxiliary battle and 2 paralogues. I start with The Face Beneath (Mercedes & Caspar), since this one also expires earlier than the others. There are no enemies with Swordbreaker here, which is good news for Marianne, and Caspar and Mercedes are both in flying classes, which is good news for them. Also, Dimitri will have to body the Death Knight at the end.

Unfortunately, the enemies in the top left of the map chase Mercedes and Caspar right into a demonic beast that I can’t reach with either Dimitri or Marianne on turn 8 (it takes so long to take one of those beasts down, thanks to their anti-crit armor and three health bars), so I restart and try again, this time determined to send both Marianne and Dimitri northwest ASAP to take down the beast and enemies there. This is also where reinforcements will spawn, and with some careful maneuvering and two gambits, I manage to get Mercedes and Caspar past that middle stretch. Now I can take my leisurely time picking off the remaining enemies on the map.

For my second paralogue, I decide to tackle Marianne’s. Now, I love this one from a lore perspective, and fog maps, while annoying, are kind of cool, but this paralogue is packed with demonic beasts, which is just a right royal pain, so I will try to get through it asap. One of the more annoying parts of this map is the Bishop that keeps on healing the beasts, so Dimitri goes clockwise through the map, deleting demonic beasts as he goes and then beelining right for the Bishop (or Bishops, on Maddening), while Marianne heads into the fortress in the north and starts taking out the beasts to its left and right. And since I have nothing better to do with my adjutant slots during these maps, I decide to let Dimitri have the other Lions as adjutants with Experience Gems. If they make it to 30 and their skill ranks for a master class—great. If not, no loss.

Sadly, my initial strategy ends up getting Byleth killed, when one of the wolves from the east starts munching on her. So instead, I send Dimitri up the east side to lure the wolves and beast there, while Marianne heads straight for the Bishops. My main goal is to get Byleth to the fort, so she can be safe, which works out beautifully. My secondary goal is to go around the map killing off the beasts as I go. This ends up taking forever and a day and breaks all three of my Killer Lances+, but by turn 53 I am finally ready to fight Maurice. At first, I let Dimitri lure him close to the fort, then I use Marianne’s Leicester Dicers Corps to break his barrier, so Dimitri can crit (now with a Wo Dao+). To give a rough idea of how long this took: adjutant Ingrid went from level 14 to 28 and mastered Pegasus Knight (without a Knowledge Gem) before Maurice was dead. Eventually, Dimitri gets him with a double crit.

In week 4, I explore again to make use of the meal event. I spend my last two exploration points cooking with Ashe for a Dex boost in addition to my SPD boost and letting Dimitri blaze through this week’s tournament, before heading into this month’s mission.

Now, this one is a bit odd. It always looks very intimidating at first, until you remember that demonic beasts, titanuses and the like cannot cross stairs, so it is fairly easy to armor-break them, then kite out of range. They have Pavis and Aegis, which can be a bit annoying in terms of weapon uses, but nothing Dimitri and Marianne can’t handle at this point.

Since Marianne is the one with the ranged weaponry, I let her deal with the titanuses at the front, while Dimitri heads for the lever that weakens them (and takes out a Pegasus Knight along the way). This may take a bit longer than sending in Dimitri, but is definitely safer. I also manage to trigger the Tathlum Bow thief this time (missed him last time). I believe there are two conditions to trigger him: 1) at least one unit must have crossed the northwest part of the map near where the Grappler is and 2) all enemies on the west side must have been defeated. There are Meteor mages on this map, but that’s why Dimitri has the Chalice of Beginnings:

In your face, Meteor Warlock.

45 turns later, Cornelia is toast, Fhirdiad is free, and I get to listen to my favorite line of FE3H dialogue again.

#Fire Emblem: Three Houses #FE3H #FE3H DimiMari playthrough #Gronder 2.0 was much easier than expected #but fuck Hilda's and Cyril's paralogue #that is the most solo/duo unfriendly paralogue in the game

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skullrock · 3 years

Text

the jacket - Steve x Reader

pairing: Steve x Reader

summary: you find a relic from Steve’s past and try to search for answers.

word count: 2.3k

warnings: angst!! angst!! but w a happy ending <3 also a bit of kissing and reader being kinda a shithead <3 duality of man

a/n: I was like . hmmm . what if reader found Steve’s Members Only jacket and saw the blood stains and tried to understand what happened . so I wrote it <3 hope u all enjoy

===

Steve was in the shower, and you were cold.

And it wasn’t like you’d never dug through his closet before. You’d found all kinds of gems - things Steve either let you keep or things you forced him to try on for you. So you really didn’t think it was a big deal when you came upon a pile of clothes tucked away in the very back corner.

You first pull out a few t-shirts - definitely ones he wore for practice. You place them aside and continue, picking up a black t-shirt. After that, you found a gem - that old Members Only jacket he used to wear senior year, an obvious Christmas present. Happily, you slipped it on, putting the other t-shirts into the pile and shutting his closet. You didn’t notice anything odd; and, actually, you weren’t sure why Steve didn’t wear it anymore.

“Am I sexy?” he asks, walking in with his hair up in a towel, one draped loosely around his waist.

“Always,” you answer, snuggling under his bedsheets. Steve throws on underwear before coming over to you, crawling on top of his comforter.

“You cold?” he asks, leaning down to kiss your head, then nose, then neck. “I can help.”

“Then do it,” you murmur, pulling him closer.

Steve doesn’t notice the jacket for a while. His lips eventually moved from yours and down your neck again as he stripped the covers off of you. He finally opens his eyes as he moves towards your chest and quirks a brow. “What’s th-“

And then the blood drained from his face.

“What?” you ask, concerned at his expression. “I - I was cold, so I threw it on -“

“Where did you find this?” he asks, voice hoarse, frozen still as he propped himself up above you.

“Your closet?”

“Let’s - um - let’s take it off,” he says, and his voice sounds anything but sexual. He wants it off, buried back in his closet, away from your eyes. Because there’s blood all over the collar and on the cuffs, and as much as he tried to scrub it out, it was soaked in.

You didn’t need to know any of that. He doesn’t want you to know any of that. You couldn’t know any of that.

You sit up, brows furrowed painfully, as Steve nearly rips it from you. “I’m sorry - I -“

“Don’t be,” he says quickly, moving from the bed and to his closet. “I just - I don’t think I’ve washed it -“

“It was fine,” you say. “Why don’t you wear it anymore? It was always so cute on you.”

“Grew out of it,” he says, but you can see as he’s holding it that it would definitely still fit. He throws it back in the closet and grabs some clothes, effectively ending the make out session. He grabs a new hoodie for you, too, coming back towards the bed slowly.

Steve felt sick. He was holding his breath as the anniversary of the second traumatic Upside Down incident approached quickly. Every year, something new happened - and he was convinced this year wouldn’t be different. He didn’t need you dragged into it like Robin had been dragged into it. And even if Robin was his best friend, she didn’t deserve that. His partner didn’t deserve it, either.

You’re quiet as Steve crawls under the covers and holds you close. You felt a little sick, too, but you didn’t know why. Maybe because you’d never seen Steve look so terrified. Certainly, you’d never seen him so terrified over a piece of clothing. You didn’t want to pry, but you wanted to know more. Was there something in the pockets he didn’t want you to find? Did a past lover give him the jacket? Your head spun as Steve pressed a kiss to the back of your head.

“Let’s take a nap, okay?” he whispers, wanting his racing thoughts to stop.

“Okay,” you whisper back, but you couldn’t sleep. You could only lay and listen to Steve’s soft breaths behind you, wondering what could possibly have happened to make him so terrified.

===

Things returned to normal for a week, but you could not stop thinking about the jacket. You felt bad for being so hung up on it, and you felt bad for planning to dig through his closet again. But the next time Steve showered when you were over, you rummaged through the pile again, paying more attention to the clothes in it.

The first few t-shirts were fine - probably things he really did grow out of. And then you got to a green sweater. It was dark and it wasn’t easy to find issues, but you finally noticed - multiple dark stains littered the fabric. They were blotchy and random, most focused at the collar. Your brows furrowed but you quickly put it back, anticipating Steve’s return. They must have just been clothes that were stained with wine or beer or something. You didn’t know why that scared Steve so much.

Your eye catches the Members Only Jacket again, and you grab it quickly, eyes scanning it rapidly. Your eyes land on the collar, and then you see it - faint, red stains lined it, random as they were on the green sweater.

Blood. Lots of it.

You throw it back in the closet and stumble back a bit, confused. You knew Steve had been in small fights before, sure, but this amount of blood was really bizarre and - and why did he have so many shirts that were stained with it? Were there more than just the two you’d found?

Steve returns from the shower merrily, but you quickly make an excuse as to why you need to go. He frowns but lets you part, confused with why you looked so afraid.

===

“Can we talk?”

Your voice shook as you spoke, the two of you laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. Steve’s brows furrowed and he sat up, already anticipating your questions. “What’s up?”

“Wh… um. Do you remember when I was wearing the jacket?”

Steve nods and pulls you closer. “Babe - I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to act weird. I just haven’t worn it in a while.”

You raise your brows a bit. “And that’s why you were terrified of it?”

Steve falters. “Well - I was just shocked to see it.”

Your brows furrow. “You ripped it off of me.”

Steve shakes his head, tries to think of a better excuse, one that's close to the truth but not quite there. “It just reminds me of a bad time in my life, okay? It’s absolutely nothing to do with you -“

“Steve.” you say, narrowing your eyes. “You don’t have to lie to me.”

“I’m not lying to you,” he says lowly.

You incline your head. “Will you get it out for me?”

Steve squeezes his eyes shut, feeling bile rising. “Can’t we just watch - watch a movie?”

“Steve,” you say, but he's up off the bed in a flash. Your heart drops at his refusal to talk.

“Let’s go downstairs -“

“Steve.”

And when he turns around, he looks panicked, tears in his eyes. “Please.”

You hurry towards him, wrapping your arms around him tightly. “Hey, I’m sorry -“

You freeze up when you feel him sob into your shoulder. Hot tears land on your neck and you gently tug him to the floor with you, horrified and confused. “Hey,” you say again, running your hand through his hair, holding him close. “You’re okay, Steve.”

Steve doesn't want to cry. He hasn’t cried. But the October anniversary being nearly two weeks away and the horror of you finding out was too much for him. He wanted to curl up and push you away, but he let himself be held by you, trying to follow you as you asked him to breathe with you. He trembles and cries, clutching on to you, refusing to look up from your neck.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles eventually, still shaking. “I….” He shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

“It’s okay,” you whisper, kissing the top of his head. “I’m sorry I pried, Steve.”

Steve doesn't answer. He sits and cries, focusing on your chest moving as you breathe. As much as it hurts, it’s helpful, and he feels a little bit lighter by the time the tears run out. He moves his lips to your ear and quietly says, “I can’t talk about it here.”

Your heart feels like it’s stopped in your chest. “What?”

“We have to go somewhere safe,” he says, even lower, and you strain to hear.

“Steve - what the -“

“Just - give me a minute, okay?”

===

Steve chooses the quarry, because it’s the only place he can think of that’s desolate enough to maybe not be bugged. He’s never told anyone about this, and it makes him shake. His palms sweat. He feels sick, but he parks, despite you begging him to just go back home. He looks sick, too, making your chest constrict with worry. He didn’t talk the entire ride, even when you exclaim as he pulls a nail-riddled bat out of his trunk. He only speaks when you’ve walked far away from the car.

Steve stares at your collarbones, exposed from your sweater draping with your posture. “What I’m going to tell you… is very dangerous.

“Steve, what the hell?” you ask, genuinely scared, eyes flicking to the bat. “Are you safe?”

He ignores the question, because he really doesn’t know. “You have to promise me you won’t bring this up or tell anyone. Okay?”

“Steve -“

“Please,” he begs, voice cracking, and you finally nod. He breathes out slowly, takes another deep breath, and then starts.

He explains everything as linearly as he can. Starts back in 1983 and works his way through, stopping to explain things to you and pausing to collect himself. It’s not so hard to talk about it, really - Steve feels like he’s reciting a comic book or recalling a dream. He rips his eyes away as he watches your facial expressions drop and contort.

“So the blood,” you interrupt at one point, “it’s from… this?”

Steve’s brows furrow. “What blood?”

You freeze a bit. “I… I looked at the other clothes in the pile with the jacket. They had blood on them.”

“Oh.” He blinks.

“I’m sorry, I really shouldn’t have -“

“It’s fine,” he says, and clears his throat. “Yeah. It’s from this. Well - the green sweater is from Jonathan Byers, mainly, but otherwise, yes. Demon blood, my blood, Russian blood.”

“Jesus Christ,” you whisper. You reach out to cup his cheek gently, running your thumb over a scar on his cheekbones. “And that’s why you’ve got those scars?”

He nods somberly, and your heart breaks.

It’s a lot of information to absorb. Like, you knew weird shit happened in Hawkins, but you didn’t know it was… inter-dimensional monsters and demons. You didn’t know Steve and others you knew were wrapped up in anything so sinister. It all sounds made up, too much to fathom, but you know Steve. You trust Steve. And you know that he doesn’t deserve any of this.

And it kind of all makes sense, really. Why he had you spend the night so often. Why he has so many nightmares. Why he's friends with a ton of kids. Why he doesn’t like going on walks in the woods, and why his curtains are always drawn shut. Why he doesn’t swim in his pool. Why he disappeared the week of the fourth of July. These quirks suddenly make sense to you, and as complicated as it all is, you still believe him.

“I know this sounds crazy - I know it sounds crazy - but you ha-“

“I believe you,” you say.

Steve’s tense shoulders relax. “You do?”

“I do,” you assure. “I mean, that’s… it’s insane, but why wouldn’t I believe you?”

Steve stares at you for a good moment before dropping his bat and wrapping his arms around you. He’s quiet as he does, and you wrap your arms around him too, trying to swallow past the ache in your throat, tears threatening to spill over.

“Steve,” you whisper, chin resting on his shoulder. “Are you safe?”

Steve doesn’t answer for a while. “I don’t know.”

You hug him closer. “I’ll make sure you are.”

“No,” he says sternly, pulling back. “No.”

“Yes,” you say, slightly irritated. “Why wouldn’t I be by your side?”

“Because you could get hurt or killed or both.”

“I….” You stare at his chest for a second before meeting his eyes. “I would do that for you.”

“That’s stupid,” he says.

“I don’t care. You did it for your friends. And I’ll do it for you.”

“That’s stupid,” he repeats, shaking his head, but he pulls you in again. “If something happens again….” Steve bites the inside of his cheek. “I can’t lose you.”

“Hell, Steve,” you say with a sad smile. “You’ve been through this shit three years in a row. I think you can handle anything.”

“But what if I don’t?” he whispers.

“Then I’m here to help,” you assure. “Always.”

He pulls back again. “I don’t want you anywhere near this shit. Okay?”

“Okay,” you say, understanding the sincerity of his request. “But if you need me, whether you admit it or not, I’m here.” You flex your muscles. “I’ve got a mean punch.”

“Sure,” he says, smiling sadly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You stand on your tiptoes to kiss his forehead. “And I’m right here.”

===

taglist: @harrington-ofhawkins @comedy-witch @gothackedalready @sassisaluxury @willowrose99 @harringtown @write-from-the-heart @m-blasterrr @whimsicalwoodlands @anerroroccurrrrred @Marvels-gurl @the-almond-dinger @ssanjuniperoo @darth-el @kurtsbuckethat @yall-wildin-like-siriusly @andyl394 @astil-be @troop-scoop @ilovebucketbarnes @mybestfriendthedingus @unknownherelm @metuel18 @magnitude101999 @lukeskisses @bethhxrmon@stevenismyboy @flyingrichardgrayson @scoopsahoy @strangest-hour @lucifer-reads @stevexscoops @prettysbliss @patientplum @theworriedman @quentin-smith @nelson-and-murdock @himbos-are-my-lifeblood

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve x reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington oneshot #my fics

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lotusthekat · 3 years

Text

I’ve felt this way before (so insecure)

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: T

Relationships: Steven & Lars (please do not ship them)

Characters: Steven Quartz Universe, Lars Barriga

Summary: There’s something wrong with him.

Word count: 2.200

AO3

A/N: basically me venting through Steven and also to show off my very personal headcanon that he might have BPD.

Please be aware of the trigger warnings below. Take care of yourself. <3

TRIGGER WARNINGS - non-graphic depictions of self-harm and blood, trauma, panic attack, anxiety and depression.

It was weird when Steven received Lars’ text, suggesting their usual baking session could take place at the former’s house instead. As if Steven hadn’t just trapped Lars and all their friends in an enclosing pink dome.

Well, Lars still hasn’t decided whether he’d go to space or not, but considering everyone else was definitely leaving, then Steven didn’t take it very well. But he wasn’t anywhere mature about it, either. It embarrasses him every night when he can’t sleep.

Even then, Steven couldn’t reject the invitation. If anything, he’s quite relieved that Lars wants to hang out with him despite the scene. But deep inside…

There’s something wrong with him.

Maybe since his new powers developed, as they’ve only gotten stronger and more dangerous with each day. They synchronize with his emotions. And that’s exactly the problem.

Steven’s emotions have been staggering.

He doesn’t want to be abandoned, but he doesn’t want to hold anyone back.

He’s angry at everyone, at himself and no one. He’s so angry, he’s prone to lashing out and cracking walls and windows far too often.

He’s ashamed of his shameful clinging to everyone around him, and as a result, he’s isolated himself. Then Steven becomes sad and tired, too, which is why he dropped Little Homeschool in the first place.

But in the next moment, he’ll be smiling like nothing happened. Because maybe he should be getting his life together. Maybe he should smile and let it go.

In reality, his mind is dangerous. Domes and walls will imprison him, while he tries to protect himself from something inevitable.

(Loneliness? Death? War? Everything? Nothing?)

It’s confusing and terrifying and Steven has no idea how to get through this. However, the half-gem can’t let anyone know, because what if they actually leave him when they realize how unstable he is? What if Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst leave the house forever? What if Connie never comes back to Beach City? What if Dad also moves out? What if Lars really goes to space?

It’s especially harder to hide now, with Lars right next to him, laughing at the stories Steven is telling him. Lars is having such a good time, and Steven is trying, because his friend will leave if the dome disaster happens again.

Steven has shoved his pink fists inside his pockets, only helping when Lars needs. It’s been tough keeping it all in. Keeping the hurt, enraged pink to himself. It aches for something, something he’s not at all sure.

The younger boy doesn’t want to ruin their time. He doesn’t want to push Lars away. He might go to space and never come back. Maybe he won’t even want Steven to visit him.

Be quiet.

Think of love.

Flexibility, love and trust.

It’s okay.

It’s not.

Shut up.

It’s not!

“… uh, Steven?”

The sixteen-year-old boys looks at his friend as if he were away to space again.

“Oh, hi,” Steven laughs nervously.

“You, um. You wanna take a break? You look a little—”

“T-That’d be great!” Steven blurts out. “I gotta go to the bathroom real quick, don’t disappear while I’m gone!” He laughs forcibly as he runs to the small door and locks himself inside before Lars notices.

He lets out the shakiest breath.

Why is this happening?

Why can’t he be okay?

He…

He needs to do something.

Steven inhales deeply, very deeply, trying to swallow the threatening tears. Not now. Not now.

It’s useless.

He’s useless.

…

He needs to do it.

Steven hates it,

but there’s nothing else he can do.

The boy takes a look at himself before opening the mirror cabinet. He’s crying despite telling himself no, and he’s glowing pink like never before.

This is the only way, then.

Beside the Diamond Aura bottles lie the small, subtle razor blades, now shining bright with his pink reflection.

Steven already shudders just by touching the blades, sharp in his fingers.

His hands are trembling badly, for that matter.

He hates, hates doing this.

But if the pink won’t comply, then he has no choice.

It’ll be quick, though.

He’ll be fine.

…

The moment the blades are close, his thoughts scream.

They cry like lost souls haunting him, the same ones that have stalked him for all these years.

Steven is angry.

Get out!

GET OUT!

…

Then there are crimson flames in his pink arms, burning like lava and poison.

It makes him sick.

He’s gonna puke.

The blades fall off his hands.

Steven will never be used to this.

Even if they’ll be gone with one healing tear…

The red hurts.

Steven’s arms wrap around himself, maybe as a way of comfort. Maybe so he doesn’t throw up and panic.

His own pathetic hug is all he has, soothing the painful but quiet sobs.

However, the world outside comes right back, knocking at his door.

“Steven?”

Gasping, the boy takes the stained razor blades off the floor and put them back in the cabinet.

“Just a second!” He exclaims.

“I- I heard you crying, is everything-?”

“Yep, everything’s fine!”

Lars soon sounds frustrated, “Dude, you’ve been weird all day, why won’t you talk to me?”

Oh no, no, no

“Wait, please!” Steven begs, please don’t be mad, don’t leave me, please—

He quickly kisses both of his arms, the crimson stains gone, and he cleans the remainders from his mouth.

Steven doesn’t waste time to open the door and force a smile onto his face.

“I’m right here!” He yells. “I’m completely fine!”

Lars opens his mouth, only for his eyes to go horribly wide.

“… Lars?”

“St- Steven, there’s blood all over your jacket!”

Indeed, his pink jacket is stained where he’d been hugging.

Something cracks.

(His mask? His lies?)

“It- I-It was an accident! I w-was… I…”

What sort of accident?

What could explain it?

“I…” tears form in the corner of his growing eyes, his skin glowing pink again. “I…”

Lars’ eyes pale. “Steven…”

Despite the seriousness of the situation, the younger boy laughs.

“You must think I’m crazy, right?” Steven asks, his smile fading to nothing. “Maybe I am. Nothing is making sense anymore,” he sniffs and looks away, avoiding the horrified stare. “You should probably leave, Lars. I-I don’t want to hold you back again. I’m sorry.”

The lonely silence meets him. It’s all so quiet, Lars might not even be there anymore. It’s probably for the best.

Regardless, steps come forward and Steven shivers.

Soft yet calloused hands carefully reach his arms, pulling up his sleeves.

“… are your arms okay?” The question is quiet. Too quiet. But not angry.

Steven gulps either way, nodding, “I-I healed them. It’s okay.”

“… okay.”

Thumbs rub where the crimson once was. They soon go for his shaking hands, squeezing both with care.

Lars doesn’t look angry at all.

At least not to the eye.

Steven doesn’t know if that’s a good thing, unsure what his friend is feeling.

Lars takes a deep breath – and Steven shivers again, expecting to get yelled at – only for him to give him a simple command.

“Turn around, will you?”

“Um- okay?” He does as he’s told and wonders what this is about, when…

Lars removes the jacket for him, leaving Steven with his black t-shirt exposed.

“We should probably wash this, right?” Lars suggests, not a hint of annoyance noted. “Where’s your washing machine again?”

“O-Oh, it’s…” Steven gulps, “it’s outside. We’d have to take the warp pad there.”

“Alright.”

Lars walks to the crystal platform inside the house, expecting Steven to come with. In spite of all his confusion, the half-gem takes them to the giant hand statue that holds the machine and the clothes that are yet to be dried.

Steven hasn’t been here with someone else in a long time, to be fair. He’s had good times here. But bad ones too.

Lars does all the work, even if Steven insists he shouldn’t. The older boy doesn’t complain.

The stained pink jacket is then inside the repetitive, circled movement inside, the crimson clues to be gone in minutes. Lars doesn’t actually question how the washing machine works, which is quite unlike his nature.

Steven is scared of questioning it, afraid Lars might actually be mad at him. Maybe he’s planning to leave soon. He must be doing all of this out of obligation, even though he shouldn’t.

Lars is waiting in front of the machine, arms crossed. They don’t share any words.

Steven has… so much to say, and yet…

He’s so humiliated.

He sits at the corner of the giant hand, holding his own hands.

“Lars…” Steven dares let out, “are you mad at me?”

The seconds that follow terrify him.

“No,” Lars replies simply, approaching him, “of course not.”

“Why won’t you say anything, then?” Steven insists, loud. “W-Why are you still here?” He burns pink, “I thought you wouldn’t want to see me again after everything I’ve done!”

He dries his own tears, ultimately hiding his face because it’s useless.

Lars is sitting next to him, but not too close.

“Do you want me to leave?” The older teen wonders.

Steven overthinks.

“… no.”

“I thought so.”

Steven vaguely looks at his friend. “D-Do you want to, though?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re my friend, Steven. And something has been wrong for a long time now,”—Lars looks back, sympathetic —“hasn’t it?”

The sixteen-year-old gazes at him, unable to give a verbal response.

Lars gets it.

“Have you…” he hesitates, “have you hurt yourself before?”

Steven clutches his arms.

“Yeah.”

“Does it make you feel better?”

Steven ponders in the setting, giant sun watching them from the horizon.

“I don’t know,” he mutters.

Lars quietly expects him to continue.

“I hate doing it, actually,” Steven admits, “I always feel sick every time I do it. But for some reason, I… I want to do it again, again, and again, because… it’s all I can do.”

He stares at his arm, as if it’s red still.

“I know it’s wrong, but… it’s all I have right now. It’s the only way I have of letting everything out, without hurting anyone else. I can’t let people know how much of a mess I am, or else—” he sniffs, “they’re going to leave me. They’re going to realize I’m a fraud. T-That I’m- I’m not as good as everyone thinks I am.”

Steven squeezes his arm, quite too tight.

Lars puts his hand onto his, silently asking him to stop.

He does.

“So, no one else knows about this?” Lars asks.

Steven shakes his head.

“I didn’t want you to find out.”

Lars doesn’t take his hand away. In fact, he’s rubbing Steven’s arm again. The latter doesn’t want to say it, but it’s quite comforting.

“I’m glad I do, though,” the space pirate says. “I mean, of course I’m upset you’re hurt… but I could never leave you for feeling that way, buddy.”

Steven looks up in hope. “Really?”

“Really. Steven”— Lars sighs —“you know how much you mean to me, right?”

The younger boy wants to say yes, but…

“Well, maybe I don’t show it that much,” Lars speaks, taking his silence for an answer. “Maybe I should’ve realized why you were so upset at the Graduation, and I’m sorry I didn’t. But Steven… you’ve changed my life so much that I could never thank you enough. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. And even then, you didn’t need to prove me anything. I always knew you were amazing, as much of a prick I was back then.”

Steven is…

He’d never imagine Lars felt this way.

“What I mean is…” the taller boy’s eyes are also shining with water. “I love you, Steven. I do.” Lars is smiling with the most fondness Steven has ever seen. “And I love every part of you, even the ones you want to hide.” This time, he’s pulling Steven close with an arm wrapped around the latter’s shoulders. “I know it’ll take a while for you to remember this, but that’s okay. I’ll be here to remind you every time you need.”

“Lars…”

Steven has absolutely no idea what he could say.

I love you, too.

I’m sorry.

For what?

I don’t know.

Lars doesn’t expect him to speak, though.

He’s then squeezing Steven in a half hug.

“Can you promise me something?” Lars wonders. “Will you tell me when you want to hurt yourself again?”

Steven hesitates.

“I… I-I’ll try.”

“Please do. You don’t deserve to hurt, pal.”

Steven tries to hold in, but he buries himself in the other’s chest, like a child haunted by a nightmare. Lars retributes the hug and even rocks him a little side to side.

“I-I’m… I’m glad you’re here, Lars,” Steven sobs.

“Yeah, me too.” Lars puts a hand on the back of his head, softening his messy curls.

The now clean jacket is set to wait out in the night. The boys end up ordering pizza, pushing the baking session for another day. They resort to the champignon pizza Steven has gotten fond of as of late.

At least tonight, he sleeps at ease.

#steven universe #steven universe future #steven quartz universe #lars barriga #self-harm tw #blood tw #panic attack tw #fanfiction #vent fic #long post

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kadeuxhyeonju · 3 years

Text

Idris the Jeweler pt.2

part 1 | part 3

Kadeu, Heart Territory, Vega Gem Apartment

Noon, Winter 2020

It had been hours since Hyeonju had dived deep into his memories, eyes transfixed on the fox figurine sitting on the mantle, but mind in a distant place that yet lingered near. For once, the memories that played like one of the Palace’s productions were not painful or terrifying. The flick of Hyeonju’s tails indicated contentment, perhaps even amusement. Nostalgia.

As the snow formed new landscapes outside his window, the Kitsune hybrid was living in a time full of warmth and knowledge from years prior. A man’s face filled his vision and Hyeonju allowed himself to be pulled in once more.

“How long have you been a jeweler, Idris?”

“Ah, for quite some time I suppose. We Fae tend to lose track of time. Perhaps as a Kitsune, that will be the same for you.”

“I doubt it. I have too much to remember. To keep track of.”

“What is so important in your life that you feel compelled to submit yourself to the gods of time? If you don’t mind my saying—”

“I mind.”

“You seem the type to always be carefree, ready to run at a moment’s notice in whatever direction that pleases you.”

“I distinctly remember some time ago you saying I had ‘sorrow’ in my eyes. Would that not contradict your current words?”

“Not at all. Living through pain and living in the moment are not mutually exclusive, Hyeonju.”

“Hmph. Well then, there’s your answer.”

“Heh. Yes, there it is.”

“…What? No talk of precious jewels today, Fae?”

“Hyeonju.”

“Idris.”

“I was under the impression you weren’t interested in my work?”

“I never said that.”

“Your face did the talking for you.”

“I just have a resting bitch face. Ask any of the other people here. They’ll tell you I’m never without it unless I’m working.”

“Aren’t you working now?”

“This doesn’t count as work. Do you want it to be work? You get to see my working face. I’ve heard it’s quite lovely.”

“No, I’m more than fine with this face, Hyeonju. It’s far more lovely than any moment spent in bed for the very reason that this is you being genuine. A rarity, I’ve come to realize.”

“What…? Whatever. So? What wisdom will you share today, teacher?”

“Teacher, am I? Heh. And here I thought we were more.”

“You aren’t paying to be more as you’ve distinctly told me countless times.”

“I meant friends you silly fox.”

“…oh.”

“Hmm?”

“Nothing. Get on with the lesson. You’re wasting your session on ridiculous talk.”

“Hahaha, fine, fine. Here.”

“What is this? It looks like you’ve trapped the ocean in a piece of earth.”

“It’s called indicolite. It comes in many colors, but the rarest is that of the blue variety.”

“It’s smooth. And clear.”

“Thanks to the techniques I used.”

“You treat them, right?”

“I see you’ve been listening.”

“Only ‘cause you never shut up.”

“Hahaha! Yes, that is true, but only because you’re a good listener…. Hyeonju.”

“Mm.”

“This stone reminds me a bit of you.”

“What nonsense will you spout now?”

“This gem is rare, sought after, but no one really understands what value it truly has. They only recognize it’s rarity, not the vividness of its color or the work it took to make it shine as it does.”

“…”

“And the levels of blue that it contains, the depth, would bring sighs of wonder if only others took the time to examine it a bit more closely.”

“There’s no need to examine something so closely. A stone is a stone, nothing more. No amount of treating will make it worth something to anybody.”

“I think you’re worth it.”

“Only because you pay for me to be your friend.”

“Do you truly believe that? After all these years, do you truly think I haven’t come to see you as a trusted companion and confidante?”

“You still know nothing of me, even after all these years.”

“I’ve learned enough. From what you’ve said…and what you’ve remained silent on.”

“Tell me more about treating stones. I want to try my hand at making a piece. I might even become better at it than you, pretty Fae.”

“Hyeonju—”

“Please. Idris.”

“…”

“Do you do the smithing yourself?”

“…Most times, yes. Though for more complicated pieces I hire the services of a blacksmith at the Forge.”

“Truly? I suppose I’ll try an easy piece first. What kind can I make that doesn’t require the Forge? I can’t afford their services, as you well know.”

“How about I teach you how to make a necklace from strings of gold and silver?”

“Gold and silver thread?”

“I’ll explain as we go along. I actually have the material in my bag here so we can start on it today.”

“Of course you would carry the tools of your trade wherever it pleases you, Idris. Even a brothel.”

“What can I say? Goldsmithing is my passion.”

“Idris?”

“Yes, Hyeonju?”

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you, my friend.”

#self para #: idris the jeweler #part 2 #what is love #bb dont hurt me #dont hurt me #no ma #what's love got to do with it #what's love but a secondhand emotion #how many oldie songs can i reference for this?

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pearlplusau · 4 years

Text

Chapter 6 - Part 2, The duel of swords and mind

The breaking dawn, at the sky arena.

The training arena has seen better days, due to the hundreds and thousands of sparring done by old gems and new, the once beauty of the arena is now slowly crumbling away from its glory days.

As the long, morning shadows of the pillars shifted, two pearls emerged from the dark and ready their stance at different sides of the arena. The pink pearl, looking rather engaged in the beautiful breaking of the dawn sky than the upcoming battle, was leaning on to her lance and gazing at the orange, pink hue of the morning sky.

It has been such a long time since they returned to the sky arena due to the end of the war. Coral couldn’t appreciate the breath-taking view up in the sky so high back then, due to the heavy training with the gems. Now, not so much either.

She was just about to suck in all the exquisiteness of the scenery but was cut short as she noticed the impatient white pearl at the other end, clanking the end of her staff to get the pink pearl’s attention. The white pearl, looking stern as ever, upholds a bright, glowing spear, with light smoke surrounding the point, indicating the cold air surrounding the heated weapon.

Pearl has her index finger and thumb on the bridge of her nose, looking irritated, “If you’re done dozing off into the sky like you always do, let me repeat the rules for the battle.”

She concentrated the gem on her forehead, and projected a simple visual of two figures.

“Rule 1, the battle must remain here, at the sky arena, for the entire duration of the spar. If one of us falls off the arena, the battle will be paused until the fallen warped back to the arena. Rule 2, There can only be one weapon at a time, this includes the quantity of the same weapon, even though I am ambidextrous, I will spar with only 1 staff for the sake of equality. Rule 3, the battle only ends when one of us is defeated, and when that gem is defeated, she must upload the end of the bargain. These are the main rules, if there’s no more gazing at the dawn sky, we can commence battle.” Pearl retracted her projected visual and waited for the usual questions from Coral.

This time, however, there were no questions asked. Coral was too busy trying to comprehend the rules but she felt like she got the gist of it. “Yeah, i'm good.”

“Good, we shall begin when the battle ground gets cleared up.” Pearl said, with her weapon ready.

The two pearls waited for the morning fog slowly departed from the arena, leaving the scene as clear as day, indicating the commencement of the battle.

Pearl leaped and advanced with her staff, taking the first strike on the oblivious Coral. But her battle reflexes kicked in and deflected the blow with her lance, heavy, but sturdy. The deflected pearl back flipped and landed on a wall, slightly surprised but not enough to take her down.

Coral took her stance, gripping her lance, and advanced as fast as she could. She aimed her point, but she wasn’t able to throw her weapon and Pearl easily unbalanced her aim. Almost losing the grip on the handle, she grabbed it with her other hand and defended a strike from Pearl.

When Pearl realizes it's gonna take more than sword skills to win, she turned to the next best thing, the power of the mind.

“You’re an old pearl, you know that? A rusty old gem, getting slower by the decade.” Pearl spoke as she took another strike, with Coral barely blocking the attack.

The two pearls have been out of commission for a very long time, but Coral was the only one getting harder to breath. “What’s your point, pearl?”

The two pearls parried side to side, lance vs staff, leaping around the arena like it was a mid day training session with their stance wide, lowered bodies, moving in swift motions as well as keeping their eyes on the opponent.

Coral was starting to get out of breath, but Pearl was just getting started.

“Back in the day,” Pearl started, “When I first started as the new pearl, I was doing all the work while you prance around the court with our diamond! You’re always causing havoc whenever you’re around her, leaving me with more work of cleaning up after you! ” She slashed and parried with all her might, with her opponent barely keeping up both ends.

Coral defended, in both swordsmanship and the unfair statement. “Havoc? Ohno, we were never causing trouble! You on the other hand, can be the wettest blanket I have ever met, we were just trying to have fun once a while until you rain all over our fun little parade! Do you know how stressful she feels every day??”

CLANK!

“Rain on your parade?” Pearl advanced, but barely missed and stabbed the bricked wall instead. Coral retreated and moved behind Pearl, who was struggling on getting her staff unstuck. The pink gem caught her breath and readied herself with her weapon, “Yes raining on our parade, you took my few chances to make her happy! It’s hadn’t been easy after rejection time and time again from the other diamonds of giving her a chance to prove herself!”

“Make her happy?” Pearl gritted her teeth while using all her strength and pulled out the staff, she turned and faced the pink gem, “I was able to make her happy while you were out of commission on the moon! While you were off conscious, tired from playing around with the earth simulator, I did my part and made her happy with mere pieces of wood from the planet! So it sounds like I did better than you ever could!”

Sorrow and anguish were churching inside the pink gem, she wanted to collapse down from the physical and mental exhaustion, but it looks like Pearl wasn’t done.

“And another thing!” Pearl wildly swung her staff around her, extending its length and planted it on the marble floor. “Your little nickname.” She sneered.

The minute Coral heard the intention and the tone, she became…

Defensive

Coral gripped tighter on the handle and scowled with a tired, slightly breaking voice, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh please,” Pearl retorted while adjusting her stance to match her opponent’s, “Your nickname, why did you think it was given to you? Did you really think it was “fun”, “adorable”, “cute”??”

“Uhh...no.” Coral tried to think of something reasonable, “She just didn’t want it to be confusing!”

Pearl took nothing from her reply. “That’s absurd, there's one reason you didn’t get to keep your old name and you already know why.”

Coral was panting, she was tired, she was on the edge of collapse.

She couldn’t think, she couldn’t understand why it suddenly bothered her when it never did thousands of years ago!

However, she did know the answer, but she also knows that deep down, it’s not an answer she could take.

The pink gem tried to keep herself from falling over by leaning on her lance planted to the ground. She tried to think of a comeback, but the only thing coming out from her mouth is, “Oh yeah? Well…I’m older than you!”

Pearl stood with her expression darkened, she gripped her staff and muttered under her breath, “Older, yes.” She stood her ground

“But.” She directed her staff, distracting the pink gem.

“Non.” She crouched down with her leg stretched out.

“the.” She tapped into her ballet moves

“wiser!” And swiftly propel her leg under the pink gem, knocking her down.

“Oooof!” Coral on her back, her lance disappeared into light.

Pearl took the advantage and gave an order, “Now stay down! And just admit it!”

Coral was down, but she somehow had the energy and rage to exclaim, “Admit what!?”

“Just admit nothing happened to you, and that all of what you’re doing is just a ruse!”

“I would if I can REMEMBER, you’d think I’d keep something like this and let Rose worry?!”

Pearl was slightly taken aback, she was not expecting this. A battle was commenced, and there must be a price. She swung her weapon down to the pink gem’s chest, “Any last words, Coral?”

The pink gem understood her intention, she took a deep breath, and went through the memories of being a crystal gem. The training, the court surprise attacks and recruitments, the fake shattering, the joy, the grief, the pain, and now, her last battle as a member.

She exhaled, moved the point away with the back of her hand, warily got up and dusted herself with what little dignity she had left.

With her last breath as a rebellious gem, she responded, “I guess you won, fair and square, and as for my last words, here they are: There was never a ruse, I just never knew me being hanging out with her...bothered you.”

She grabbed Pearl’s hand, and continued, “But now that I won't be there to keep you guys down, I hope you can help the rest of the gem monsters and keep the planet safe, even if I won’t be a part of it anymore.”

Pearl was trying to be vigilant and cautious, but something in her couldn't bear seeing the pink gem like this.

Pearl believed Coral was telling the truth, she wanted to take back everything she said, she wanted to break their agreed rules and hug her for dear life. But before any of that could happen, the ground rumbled, shifted as the air around turned,

hot...

And angry.

Pearl retracted her hand from Coral, and stood a few feet back, seeing that the entire arena was shaking with the familiar buzz and growl.

In the distance, a flying figure rapidly approaches the arena, and reaches the other end from the two pearls. It had wings of a giant bat, misshaped tube-like worm body form with hair and deadly spikes sticking out. As it came in closer, it roared with the echoing sounds of monstrous scree, shaking the arena even more, spreading poisonous venom as it disintegrated parts of the arena.

“SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!”

Coral was scared and confused, she turned to Pearl, hoping she knew what they’re facing, but Pearl looked, horrifyingly, terrified. The pink gem shook Pearl by the shoulder, demanding an explanation!

“Pearl! Wh-what, what is that? And why is it here? What does it want?”

Pearl was not answering, but she shakingly lifted her arm, and pointed to the monster’s head.

Coral didn’t notice it before, but on the monster’s horrifying bee-like head, one of the horns was broken off.

“It…” Pearl whispered, “It wants me, shattered.”

End of part 2

(A/N: Heyy, so about that fusion monster. In the episode, “Earthlings” we saw Jasper was able to fuse with a corrupted gem, so it gave me the idea of two different gem monsters, fusing to get some kind of revenge, and with the same philosophy as Bluebird azurite, fusing for hate and vengeance and stuff.

Also, i’m not sure how many of you guys are actually reading and enjoying these stories so far. There’s like, more than a thousand ppl following but the only indicators for me to know how much of you enjoyed it is the likes and reblogs you guys left at every post.

Maybe i should consider creating an account on instagram and share some previews of the story there? I could really use some advise about this, so feel free to drop a comment or an ask.

Also i’ve noticed theres been random unfollowings, to which i’ll assume to be ppl who have actually realized this is not Tripixle.

Lastly, i am here to announce that I am open for more #askmeanything, but this time, the “anything” should preferably be anything related to the written stories, which is up to this 6th chapter. Like maybe you guys have some questions regarding certain aspects of the storytelling, or maybe you guys would like to give criticism, which I’ll take and consider for future writing. However, if what you sent me in the ask contains certain topics that may be a spoiler for any future plans, then it would either be set aside until that topic is issued, or something related to “naw gurl, not right now.” kinda deal.

And it looks like you’ve read to the end, and to that i say thank you for reading what i have to say, byee)

#stevenuniverse #pearlplusau #Pinkpearl #Pearl #Rosequartz #Coral #askmeanything

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fanfoolishness · 4 years

Text

Growing Things

The road to recovery is a long one, but the journey is easier with good company. Steven and Connie work in the garden and discuss the past and future. Connverse, 2797 words, a little angst, a lot of fluff.

(A sequel to my Steven-gets-therapy stories Full Disclosure and ice cream sundaes that asks, what if Prickly Pair had occurred in a healthy way?)

***

A throb of power, a humming in his ears, a light, a song. Rage boiled in his chest; he sobbed into his hands, gasping with the weight of it. Pink light shimmered around him. It built itself into a cage of lies and fears, and he flung his hands out, fingers sliding down its smooth surface. As it closed in around him it changed into a mirror that glinted and rippled. He tried to hide his face, but he could see how much he looked like her --

Steven woke up suddenly, breathing hard, sweaty and trembling. I’m here, I’m here, he remembered. He ran a shaky hand through his unruly hair, wiping the sweat away.

A knock at the sliding door startled him, and he looked up, fighting momentary panic. The fear dissolved when he saw Connie waving at him through the glass. He nodded to her and she let herself in with the key he’d given her ages ago.

“Hey!” she said happily, but the smile on her face quickly faded. “Are you okay?”

Steven took a few breaths. Focus, then let it go. No feeling lasts forever. “No,” he said, simply, honestly. Another breath. “Give me a minute. I think I will be.”

She sat down beside him, kicking off her shoes and curling up on the bed. She leaned against him and settled her head on his shoulder. It was one of her newest favorite spots to lean on him, and he relaxed into her, his breathing slowing.

“Another nightmare?” Connie asked, hugging him. He dug his hands into his thighs, gripping hard at first, then gradually relaxing until his knuckles were no longer white.

“Yeah. Not a flashback or anything. Just me, stuck in my own head.” He paid attention to how he felt, the way Connie felt against him, the sound of his breathing, his feet flat on the floor.

Get out of your head. It was starting to help.

“Well, I’m here too,” Connie reassured him. She pressed a gentle kiss to his temple, then his cheek. He grinned despite the nightmare’s memory, fighting the sudden urge to float up to the ceiling and take her with him. He turned his face to hers and kissed her, her mouth parting open beneath his, and the nightmare quickly slipped back into distant recollection. How could he think of that when the way Connie held him was so right?

They drew apart a moment later, both slightly breathless, Connie as pink-cheeked as Steven felt. “Thanks for coming over,” Steven said, suddenly shy. “Even if I overslept.”

“Nah, I’m early. I might have missed you a little bit since yesterday,” said Connie, pretending to look innocent.�� Then she giggled and nudged him with her shoulder. “Besides, I’m starting to get into this whole gardening thing with you. These plants won’t take care of themselves… unless you’ve added any --”

Steven laughed a little, climbing out of bed. Connie stood up beside him, slipping on her shoes. “No, no, these ones up here are still just normal Earth plants. No cheating. I’ll get dressed. Um, maybe you should --”

“Suddenly shy, Steven Universe?” She turned around so that she couldn’t see him change, but she was blushing as she did so.

“Um, maybe,” Steven said, his voice threatening to crack for a second. He gulped through it, disguising it with a swallow. Oh jeez. “Uh, maybe I just don’t want you to be overwhelmed by my extremely handsome physique,” he blustered. Better.

They’d only officially been dating for six and a half weeks, and he was still figuring out how to be both a friend and a boyfriend. He wasn’t sure how exactly to do it, but it felt like he was doing okay. Except what was this flirting thing, again? He hoped she didn’t think he was too ridiculous.

He pulled off the light tank top he’d slept in. Part of him half-hoped Connie would watch him get changed after all -- but that was both too exciting and too terrifying to handle just yet, so he quickly changed with his back to her, sweating again. Where had he put that deodorant? Ah, there it was. Phew.

“Well, it’s true,” Connie mused from across the room. “I do think you’re handsome.”

“Come on, Connie, don’t tease me,” he said, rummaging for fresh underwear and jeans. He put them on at lightning speed.

“I wasn’t teasing, but I can start. Isn’t calling you handsome one of the perks of being your girlfriend?” The way she said girlfriend was light and airy, tinged with pride and the excitement of newness. The sound of it made him feel all floaty again.

“Can I just say that us actually dating is… it’s kinda weird, and more than a little scary, and also I really love it? Because it’s awesome. You’re awesome. And beautiful, and smart, and funny, and badass, and -- well, you know,” Steven said in a rush, pulling on a fresh shirt. It got stuck temporarily on his head, and he pulled it down, his hair going every which way as he did so. “Okay, I’m decent.”

“Decently goofy, that is,” said Connie, turning back around. They headed out onto the deck, and she laughed brightly, one of his favorite sounds. “I feel the same way. It’s weird, and I get all these crazy butterflies every time I look at you, but you’re still Steven. It’s like… being best friends plus this whole new thing where I get to hold your hand and kiss you and tease you until you blush. I’m a big fan.”

“Well, that’s a relief.” He bent down to examine some of the plants in their pots and planters. He had considered growing them magically, but there was something comforting about these ones, their shades of green and blue and goldenrod a cheery sight against the Gem-constructed dome. Maybe it was that they were content to stay here and grow where he’d asked them to; but maybe it was that there was no way they would cause problems any more severe than allergies.

“It isn’t really cheating,” Connie said, watering a row of blue and pink-blooming hydrangeas in their beds.

“Huh?” Steven asked, nonplussed over by the burgeoning azaleas. Their first blossoms were just starting to unfurl in shocking fuschia.

“Using magic to grow these. It would be okay if you did, I think.” She paused, trailing a hand over a bundle of pink blossoms. “Magic’s part of you just as much as being human, if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s not wrong to use it, and it’s not wrong to not use it, you know?”

How did she always see through him? He was glad she knew him so well, but sometimes, it made it difficult to hide. He thought back to the sessions he’d started going to, human therapy with someone who didn’t know him, didn’t know Dad and the Gems, didn’t know any of this stuff… but someone who let Steven talk. And one of the things he’d suggested was reconnecting to his human side.

“I know. But I fought so hard to be a good Gem, to get control of my powers, to save the galaxy… I forgot about who I was as a human. I guess this is me trying to figure it out, one plant at a time. Plus my counselor thinks the whole gardening thing is a good idea.” He brushed his fingertips over the spiny leaves of a variegated aloe plant. “Thanks for helping me look into it. Peridot’s advice was super technical, but just hanging out and taking care of plants is a little more my speed.”

She left the watering can, closing the distance between them and taking his hand. “It’s okay if it takes time.”

“I know,” he said, and he did know it, and the thought made him glad. There was a time, not that long ago, that he wouldn’t have believed her. That he would have thought she wasn’t telling the truth. “That’s why I’ve been working so hard on letting myself not work. I really needed help. And it feels good to be getting it.”

Connie looked down at his hand, held in her slender one. “I’m so sorry you were struggling so much. I knew something was wrong, I just… I didn’t know what exactly.”

He gripped her hand tighter. “Well, my counselor says I can be really stubborn,” he laughed. “And he says I’m really good at hiding things. The Gems didn’t know, Dad didn’t know…” He sighed, the laughter in his voice fading.

Oh. There it was, that feeling. Steven tried to sit with it, instead of trying to shove it aside. It was still a difficult thing for him. “I just can’t believe I lost a whole year, feeling like that. Empty and angry and numb…. I wish it had been different. That I’d been better at dealing with everything. I mean, I could have been going off to college with you in fall, and we could have been dating so much sooner because I wouldn’t have been so messed up. I wouldn’t have worried everyone so much, or scared you so much that night -- I’m really sorry -- ”

“Hey, hey hey hey,” said Connie softly.

He looked up. She searched his face, her brown eyes wide and earnest. She smiled gently at him, and he realized what she meant.

“Oh man, I’m doing it again,” Steven said, shaking his head and smiling faintly. “That thing where I assume I have to apologize if I try to talk about my feelings. And that other thing where I assume I have to take care of everyone else’s problems instead of mine. Ahhh, it’s really hard to unlearn!” He let go of her hand, throwing his up in the air. “What’s that saying? Two steps forward, one step back? It’s annoying.”

“I think it’s really normal,” said Connie, reaching out and booping him on the nose. He giggled. Sure enough, the painful feeling from earlier was already starting to fade, all the less powerful for having been shared but not ruminated on. It was a balance he worked at with every counseling visit. More and more often, he was getting better at it.

“And I think it’s amazing you’ve worked so hard. I can tell you have, Steven. You just seem… like you again. Maybe it’s a you that’s still figuring things out, but I am too,” said Connie. “It’s not like I know everything about what I want to do. There’s my classes now, which college to pick, my driving exam… and how much time I want to spend in space in the future versus if I want a career that’s more Earth-based… there’s a lot to think about!”

Steven kissed her on the cheek, then wiped off a bit of dirt that had gotten on her nose. “I know it’s hard to choose -- oh man, do I know -- but I hope you know you can do anything you want, Connie. You’re so smart, and you work so hard. Whatever you pick, you’ll be incredible.” She flushed, but didn’t contradict him. “And if you ever want to practice driving the Dondai, I’ll go with you any time. I know you’ll pass it. Stevonnie was a great driver even when we were kids, so I’m sure you’ll do great.”

She poked him in the side. “Yeah, but it’s a little different when someone’s grading you on it. And I think the racing moves Stevonnie’s so good at are a little frowned upon in the driving test.”

“The test wasn’t bad at all,” said Steven. “I got dinged on a couple things, but they still passed me. Turns out parallel parking is crazy hard when you’re used to parking on an entire beach…”

“Dork,” said Connie, smirking.

“Guilty.”

“You know, we’re not doing a very good job with the plants, Steven,” she said, glancing around them.

“Someone’s very distracting,” said Steven, halfheartedly picking up his watering can. “You’re just really good to talk to, and super cute, and you smell really nice --”

“Such a dork!” She went to pick up a trowel, but sighed. “Dang it, you’re really distracting too. Your hair’s doing this extra curly thing where it’s sticking up in the back and it’s adorable, and I keep just wanting to touch you and hold your hand --”

“Hey, I have an idea,” said Steven shyly, an idea occurring to him. “I know a way we could be a little more productive.”

“You better not tell me to go home already, Universe,” Connie said, raising an eyebrow. “I thought I was supposed to go to lunch with you and your dad and the Gems later.”

“What do you take me for, Maheswaren?” he scoffed. “No. I was thinking --” He stepped backward, leaving a little space between them, and held out his hand. “I bet Stevonnie could focus more.”

She grinned, blinking rapidly, her eyes a little too bright. He knew how she felt -- hopeful, eager, excited -- and a little nervous. “Are you sure?” she asked. “I mean -- we haven’t since….”

He took a deep breath. “Since before I broke down? I know. But I think… I think I feel enough like me now that I want to try, if you do.”

Her grin deepened into a fierce, blazing expression, the type of expression that said she would take on the world. He loved that look. “Then let’s dance.”

Their dance was slow at first, the steps a little fumbling, out of practice. For a moment, Steven’s eagerness shifted into worry. Maybe he wasn’t ready after all. Maybe he still wasn’t enough of himself to fuse. Maybe --

But Connie’s dancing was so joyful, so familiar, that his worry slipped away. It’s okay. I’m me. We’re us. A lightness filled him, a happiness so intense his eyes pricked. He took her hand in his, and together they whirled, they spun, they fused --

Stevonnie laughed, the sound ringing throughout the dome. It felt so good to be themselves again. “Yes!” they crowed. They felt so much different than they had the last time they had formed. That day, months ago, Stevonnie had felt unsettled and strange throughout. They had struggled to stay themselves in a way that hadn’t made sense, and they had only remained a few moments before Steven and Connie unfused. Now they understood why, and it was a relief to once more feel like Stevonnie, confident, relaxed, at ease.

They realized things felt a little different. “Ooh!” they said, reaching up to feel stubble on their cheeks. “Huh, might be a good look for me.” Stevonnie reached down to touch their toes, then stood up and stretched as tall as they could. Ahhh, that was nice.

Stevonnie glanced around the garden, noting how little work had been done this morning. Steven and Connie really were too much sometimes (only in the best way, of course). “Yeah, I think it’ll be a little easier not to be distracted this way.” They collected the watering can and the pruning shears.

Stevonnie hummed to themselves as they made their way through the rows of Steven’s garden, watering here, pruning the occasional dead branch there. A few plants needed some fertilizer, and Stevonnie sank their hands into the soil of each pot, relishing the feel of cool dirt against their fingertips. A breeze played through the open door of the conservatory, its touch blowing lightly through their hair. The morning sunlight streamed through the glass, brilliant, coruscating, lining the edges of the plants with golden light. Below them, Stevonnie could hear the surf breaking against the sand, wave after wave, the sound mingling with their humming.

Stevonnie finished with the gardening in an hour, much quicker than it would have taken Steven and Connie with all of their flirting. They wondered what the future held for them both: Connie’s schooling and future career, Steven’s Gem and human struggles and his improvements, this new layer to their friendship that had developed recently. So many changes, but good ones, they thought.

They looked around at the garden, feeling a warm sense of pride at how well it was doing. Steven and Connie had worked so hard to help this place become lush and beautiful. It had changed, too. No longer a sterile Gem structure, it was a true garden, vibrant and alive and growing.

Stevonnie sat down cross-legged in the middle of the conservatory, surrounded by greens and pinks and yellows, scents of jasmine and rose. The surf was steady in the background. Stevonnie closed their eyes, considering the future, and took a moment to breathe deeply.

They smiled, calm and serene. Maybe they didn’t have future vision, but the future seemed bright after all.

****

(Author’s note:

I had this rattling around in my drafts but was waiting until Prickly Pair aired to figure out what direction I wanted to go with it. WOW that episode was a gut punch, wasn’t it? So I felt I had to reimagine it in a much healthier setting since in these stories, Steven’s breakdown occurred earlier and he was willing to go to therapy. You can see he’s not 100% better — old fears and patterns slip through — but he’s social now and overall has a much better outlook.

I also thought it was important to spell out that dating wasn’t really possible until Steven had made significant improvements in his mental health, and that dating/relationships alone can’t save you from mental illness. They can help if there’s a solid foundation there, but you can’t jump into a relationship at your lowest point because your self is too wounded to be a good partner. So, this is set some months after Steven had been in therapy. They were very close before then but not officially dating yet, at least in these stories.)

#connverse #steven universe future #suf #steven universe #steven x connie #connie maheswaran #stevonnie #steven for therapy 2020 #fanfoolishness steven universe fic

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kasplode · 4 years

Text

Love.

Fandom: Steven Universe

Words: 1,700

Summary:

Steven with his family, in the days following his break down.

(Set after Steven Universe Future Episode 19, ‘I Am My Monster’)

—

Hey, you, show me that solvable problem

We can get through this

I'll do the hardest part with you

[READ ON AO3]

Steven is exhausted.

For the first time in several days, he’s actually alone. He’s sitting in the kitchen, staring out the window at the beach and the horizon beyond. He’d been playing games with Amethyst all morning, and now she’s left the house for her class at Little Homeschool. It’s nice to finally have a moment of quiet.

The Diamonds and Spinel went back to Homeworld a few days ago, at the insistence of Steven and the gems. He appreciates that they care, but Spinel was right, back then. Sometimes you need to not see someone for a while.

The rest his family have been all but smothering him in love. It seems that every moment of every day, there’s at least one aggressively loving person by his side; be it Dad, Connie, Pearl, Garnet, Amethyst, Bismuth, Peridot or Lapis.

‘That’s so many,’ Steven can’t help but think, sometimes. ‘So many people here. So many people I love, who love me. How did I ever feel so alone?’

But smothered as he is, it feels like he’s never been able to breathe quite so easily.

They’ve kept him busy, made sure he doesn’t do too much.

/-/

The day after his breakdown, Steven forces his tired body out of bed, where Connie is curled up beside him, passed Pearl, who has apparently taken up the whole ‘watching him while he sleeps’ thing again, and downstairs to make himself breakfast.

“Good morning Steven,” Pearl greets him, following him downstairs. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m-” Steven stops before he can say ‘fine’ and stares at the kitchen counter for a moment. Saying that will never be the same again, he thinks.

“I’m tired. I feel better than yesterday, though,” he says.

It’s true. Every move he makes is weighed down as if gravity is pulling at him harder than usual, trying to push him into the ground. But still, he can stand, and his emotions seem to have finally settled after the riotous rollercoaster of the past few days.

Pearl claps, rewarding his improved mood with a smile. A spark of happiness lights in Steven, but.

How long has it been since he’s made one of the gems smile? How long has it been since he’s even seen them smile, without sadness there to corru- ruin it?

Steven turns back to the counter. He’s so tired, but it’s no good if he goes back to bed now. He needs to get something in him, and with his current lack of energy, that ‘something’ may as well be a protein shake.

“Oh, Steven,” Pearl says, when Steven grabs the protein powder, “you need something with more substance than that to keep your strength up! I wanted to make breakfast for you and Connie.” She glances at the couch, “And Greg too, when he wakes up.”

Steven’s face falls against his wishes. He’s already caused so much trouble, he doesn’t want the gems to feel like they need to take care of his every whim and will just because he couldn’t handle himself!

Pearl looks at him, and her expression becomes a little less sure. “That is, if you’d like me to. I understand if you’d prefer to take care of it yourself, I just…”

And heck, he’s made Pearl lost for words. Not what he wants to do.

Steven forces himself to take a deep breath, breathing out the muggy smokiness invading his lungs. “No, it’s okay. If you want to, I’d love to eat your cooking again. It’s been a while.”

Pearl gives him a crooked smile and pulls him into a quick hug. “Excellent! I have so many recipes I’ve been meaning to try out. Maybe you can hang around and be my taste-tester today?”

He’d wanted to start helping the clean-up at Little Homeworld, but he supposes he can wait for an hour or two. For Pearl.

“Yeah. Sounds great.”

Steven convinces Pearl to let him help cook, needing to keep himself occupied. Connie comes down when she wakes up, and the noise of their conversation proves to be enough to rouse his dad.

Amethyst comes in from her room and is ecstatic to see so much food cooking. It takes Steven, Connie and Pearl’s combined efforts to save their breakfast from the voracious gem.

Garnet appears when the food is laid out on the table and makes herself comfortable, Cat Steven sitting in her hair.

Steven sits down with them all, feeling light for the first time in weeks.

/-/

He had eventually managed to sneak away to go to Little Homeworld, but as if she had future vision of her own, Bismuth was waiting at the warp when he arrived.

“You’ve been cleaning up everyone else’s messes for so long, Steven. You can sit this one out,” Bismuth had assured him, ushering him back onto the warp pad and taking him back home herself. He still felt bad, but in the end, he appreciated it.

He still isn’t ready to face everyone after wrecking Little Homeworld.

Tears well up in his eyes. He wipes at them frantically, but it’s no use. He’s been crying with startling frequency, and when he starts, it’s hard to stop.

And lately, when he cries, he is soon comforted. Before the first tear reaches his chin, there are big, multicoloured hands picking him up and carrying him to the couch.

When he’s put down again, he finds himself sat not on well-loved upholstery, but the strangely warm lap of a gem.

It’s way, way too comfortable to sit in Garnet’s lap, cradled in loving arms.

“I’m sixteen, Garnet,” he protests weakly. “You don’t need to- to put me in your lap like this anymore.”

“Nonsense,” Garnet says, giving him a little squeeze, “you’re never too old for affection.”

“Heh. I guess you’re right.” Steven’s voice comes out a little wet, as it often tends to do these days.

“I hope you’re prepared to not move for the next hour,” Garnet adds.

“What?”

A furry warmth climbs into his lap, and Steven is delighted to see Cat Steven making herself at home there.

“Oh.” Steven melts as Cat Steven begins to pur, and he scratches gently behind her ears.

As predicted, they remain that way for an hour before Steven’s tears dry and the void in his chest closes up, at which point Cat Steven stands, stretches, and walks away with a little miaow.

/-/

Connie returns to the house in the afternoon. She’s been spending an hour or so each day at the library, getting in some college prep while she’s away from home. Quite conspicuously, she’s only been studying when Dad or the gems have some kind of activity planned to keep him occupied for that time.

They sit down together for lunch, holding hands over the table, as Connie tells him about how she thinks gem technology defies physics. She asks after Steven’s day, and he tells her about the doctor’s appointment he’s booked and his impromptu cuddle session with Garnet and Cat Steven.

They fall into a comfortable silence, which of course is when Steven’s brain decides to throw everything in his face again. He doesn’t cry this time, but he feels the wrinkles of his frown.

“What is it?” Connie asks.

Steven bites his lip. He doesn’t want to bother her with it. But he can’t keep everything bottled up. If nothing else, he’s learnt his lesson about that.

“It’s just… I’m thinking about what happened. I’m worried that you’re still here. You should go home! I don’t want you to risk your future for me. You need to study, not look after me.”

“Steven, I’m here because I want to be,” Connie says. “Some things are more important than studying. It’s really not going to hurt for me to be here a bit longer. But that’s not all you’re worried about, is it?”

“Yeah. My…” he takes a deep breath, has to accept it, has to say it, “corruption. I really could’ve hurt people. You and Dad, all of the gems. And Beach City, Little Homeworld! I’m- or at least. My powers are dangerous. It’s scary. And I don’t know if I can ever make up for everything I’ve done with them.”

Connie gives him that look. That warm one, where her eyes go all soft, the one she gives because she’s concerned and she loves him and she wants to make everything better. Her other hand comes up to sandwich his own.

“Whatever happens from here,” Connie says slowly, “I can’t promise it’ll be easy. There’s no one, instant way to fix everything, or control your powers, or get better.” She squeezes his hands. Her sword-calloused hands, smaller than his own, are firm and strong.

“I know it was scary, and I understand why you’re scared. But what-ifs won’t help, okay? No one was hurt. The house wasn’t damaged, you didn’t get anywhere near Beach City.

“You can’t change what happened. But you’ve done so much good you shouldn’t ignore, and you can keep doing good. You aren’t alone, and we will never let you feel alone again. We’ve all learnt from this, and we’ll do everything we can to make sure you don’t break down, or become corrupted again.”

Connie looks him in the eye, holding his hand tight. “And if, somehow, things go wrong again? We will make it better. Crystal Gems always find a way.”

The tears come again, and Connie holds him tight as he clings to her.

“Thank you.”

/-/

Steven sits at the table, surrounded by his family.

He doesn’t know what’s going to happen from here. He isn’t sure he’ll ever be okay again. He’s terrified he’ll break down again one day, and won’t come back.

The future is a foggy, unknowable mystery ahead of them all. There are still so many questions and uncertainties plaguing him.

But now, Steven’s pretty sure he has the beginnings of the way forward, a start for the answer.

He looks between his family members, so full of compassion and life, looks around the house, adorned by years of soft memories and tough decisions and firm, unending determination. He smiles.

Yeah, Steven’s pretty sure.

The answer… is love.

#su #steven universe #steven universe future #i am my monster #connie mahaswaren #connverse #garnet su #pearl su #amethyst su #cat steven #my writing #my fic #long post #su spoilers

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moonlightstars16 · 4 years

Note

Numbers 27 and 46 please???

You got it! ;)

27. “Kiss me.” & 46. “Dance with me.”

Also for others who read this, Stevonnie is AWESOME! But I want to explore between just Steven and Connie as two separate people. This isn’t anything hateful it’s just something I’m trying out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a long night which dragged into the morning. Connie had just come back from her house to her boyfriend’s. It was an odd ritual really. But understandable, since Steven was in early-ish stages of therapy and personally needed someone who wasn’t a gem but fully human. Greg helped out some of the time when he wasn’t at the car wash or touring with Sadie and Shep.

Connie was the main one to talk too. Though they had some issues as well. But they both worked it out from time to time. Friends have fights too, nothing was perfect. Because of her parents rules about no spending nights over his house, she would leave only to come back when she woke up. So much so she would take a bag(weekly to refresh) with her filled with clothes, bathroom necessities and of course her studies. This began only when her helping out stretched at odd hours of the night and day.

She didn’t mind in the slightest. Not if it was for Steven. Her best friend and someone she had crushed on since they we’re little. In fact she had hoped one day they would be a couple. But then well things didn’t go according to plan. By this point it was a miracle he even accepted her as a friend again. of course this sort of thing didn’t happen every single day. Just once in awhile. And with Greg gone and this past session (although good in the long run) was beyond hard to get through.

It was an hour after dawn and Steven was already up, making breakfast for the both of them. They smiled and Connie set her freshly made bag by the stairs. Before walking across the open area of the house to the kitchen. Puling down the plates, silverware, and napkins she set them on the table, before grabbing mugs and making the green tea they both liked. It was soothing and when you add lemon and honey, it’s really good. At least it was for them.

Steven had put the homemade pancakes(he set aside being a vegetarian full time till he had a better grip on things), with syrup and butter on top, on the plates. Then put a bowl of fresh fruit out between them. Once Connie came back with the tea, she sat down with him. They held hands and ate in silence for awhile. After rough nights like the previous one’s, a calm and more quiet morning was needed. Once finished and both did the dishes, Connie set up her study area and patiently waited for him to be done getting ready before taking over the bathroom.

Once refreshed, Connie went to work studying while Steven did his routine that he did when a hard session came to pass. Sometimes she thought her studying would make it hard on him, since his education of humanity and earth culture were beyond different. But he had calmly assured her that it was okay. However he was honest when he felt uncomfortable even seeing a textbook. Those moments were almost non-existent now. But she was still cautious with it. And being so much ahead for even cram school, it didn’t harm to take the day off or two.

Three hours passed and Steven had migrated upstairs to the couch. Reading a book. Connie followed in suit, just finishing up her studies and needing a break from working hard. Sometimes Steven would rest his head on her lap and vice versa. Or even leaning against one another’s shoulders was enough. Today they did just that whilst holding hands.

“Connie?” He asked softly finally breaking the silence.

“Yes? What is it Steven?” She asked, putting the book down in her lap, marking the page before closing it. He did the same simultaneously.

“I want to start of by thanking you, again, for being here with me.”

“Of course, and don’t worry you’re not holding me back from anything. I want to be here with you.” she reassured him, smiling and squeezing his hand.

“You have no idea how much I appreciate that.” pausing, he took her other hand before looking into her eyes. “Connie I know we talked about what happened on the beach that evening... I know I’ve said this already but I am truly sorry for startling you like that out of the blue. However there is one thing about it that I still hold true in my heart. Ever since we met, our adventures, our friendship...when you kissed me before going to space camp,” he chuckled while she blushed remembering that.

“And even through everything in this moment of time. I can’t imagine anyone else who truly understands me like you do. I mean, you accepted me as both human and gem without question. Sticking by me, even at in my darkest moment. I- I care for you a lot Connie... If I had any dreams, it would be for you to be happy.

Whether it’s in College, having a job you will succeed at, or both, anything, if it makes you happy, then I would be too. Of course I don’t mean that as anything bad. I just, want the best for you. I hope you get the best in life because you deserve it... I say all this because... I love you....”

Tears streamed down her cheeks as a smile appeared. Steven had a worried expression, terrified that he said something wrong. “I didn’t mean that like ‘you ave to be happy so I can be happy’ thing! I just think you deserve the best for you and-” He stopped as her hands left his and arms wrapped around his neck.

“Just kiss me Universe” She spoke softly before they leaned in and let their lips touch. Normally in situations like this, though normally through dance, Stevonnie would appear. And while they both loved being Stevonnie, Steven wanted to control when that happened. Not just because he wanted to be human, but for Connie to be her own person as well.

There will be moments where they both agree to be they, but it was more than enough right now being two humans in love. Once they parted for air, Connie rested her head on his chest while Steven embraced her tightly in his arms. It was a moment they relished, being in love.

“So are we boyfriend and girlfriend now?” he asked, resting his head on top of hers.

“Well that depends.” She teased and pulled away, standing up and extending her hand to a very confused Steven.

“If you dance with me.” He then smirked and accepted, standing up himself. Then he pulled out his phone and connected to a wireless speaker, playing a list of songs they both liked. Then pulling her to the middle of the dance floor, he held her close while they danced till noon. Conversing while dancing and being in each others company and love.

#steven universe #steven universe future #steven and connie #connverse #connie mahaswaren #stevenxconnie #connverse one shot #fluff #writing prompts

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dzamie-oc · 4 years

Text

Smaugust 11 - Celestial

Spike is anxious about the future. He goes to ask Celestia for help - after all, if anyone knows the woes of a long life, it would be her! (1134 words)

Spike jogged through the familiar halls of Canterlot Castle, waving at some of the Royal Guard as he passed them. Most of them maintained their professional, steely, serious gaze, but he did get a few of them to soften into a slight smile for the young dragon. If he watched closely, he saw a few of them widen their eyes slightly; he knew them from before the whole Nightmare Moon thing, and hadn't seen him with his new wings. Spike only paid half-attention to the route he was taking, letting his feet move on autopilot down the carpeted halls and around corners while he checked out how the decor had changed since his last visit. Although he had been living in Ponyville with Twilight and her friends - well, Rainbow technically lived in Cloudsdale, but she was pretty much an official Ponnyvillian - he still knew each corridor like the back of his claw. One more turn brought him to the grand entrance before the throne room, where he was thrilled to see only a single pegasus mare waiting before the huge, ornate doors.

Flapping his wings, Spike danced over the remaining distance before coming to a stop in the very short queue. "Hi there," he greeted her, "whatcha looking to ask Princess Celestia about?"

The mare turned her head, then looked down at him. Seeing him as a young dragon rather than an older one, she gave him a friendly smile rather than the terrified gasp Spike had seen Smolder get. "Oh, I'm a gardener - I grow special plants up in the clouds - and the Earth ponies in my town have been accusing me of stealing their livelihoods, even though I grow completely different plants." She pointed with a primary feather at her flank, which had what looked like a multicolored daisy on a raincloud for her cutie mark. "See this plant? That's a Bellis prismata, native to Cumuloria. It suffocates in dirt, and it's about eighty percent of what I grow." She refolded her wings to her sides before continuing, "I suppose I'm just looking for, like, a royal mark of approval or something. Or, hay, just somepony of authority to tell me I'm right." She and Spike shared a chuckle at that.

"If the flower looks anything like your cutie mark, that's really cool! I hope I get to see one someday!" Spike said.

"Well, swing by the outskirts of Trottingham sometime, little guy, and maybe you'll see my cloud!" the mare replied. "So, what are you here for?"

Spike scuffed his foot against the ground. "Ah, just, y'know, life advice. About growing up and stuff," he said, a little self-conscious, "I guess that's pretty silly compared to your neighbors trying to trample your garden... metaphorically, if it's in the clouds."

The pegasus shook her head and gave him a bright smile. "Not at all, kiddo. Heh, I wonder what I would've done if I'd thought to ask Princess Celestia for guidance when I was a filly..."

The guard called the mare's name, and she bade Spike farewell before walking into the chamber, passing a unicorn stallion engrossed in the scroll floating in front of his eyes. Spike took the time to think about what he'd say to the Princess, and also to see if he could tell the guards apart, to no avail. A few minutes later, the one on the right called out, "last one, Spike the Dragon," and Spike stepped up for the doors to open. As he went in, he passed the gardening mare.

"Went well?"

"Yes! Nothing like a note, but she gave me advice on not letting them bother me!"

"Nice one!"

"Yeah! Good luck, kiddo!"

The dragon entered the spacious room. He had grown up in the castle, had probably been in this very room countless times - especially as the Sibling Supreme - but it still was a sight to behold. A huge, vaulted ceiling, numerous stained glass windows depicting the exploits of Princess Celestia, Twilight, and her friends. And, in one, Spike held the Crystal Heart. The young dragon always held his head up a bit higher after seeing it. Finally, his view settled on the two velvet-lined thrones in the focus of the room. One with a yellow sun atop the back and a white alicorn sitting on the cushion, and the other with a silver moon and a blue alicorn. Judging by their relaxed posture and the guards in the room standing at ease, Spike figured they had heard who, exactly, was the last "petitioner" of the day.

"Hi, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna!" he called as he walked up to the throne. One of the guards on the side stiffened when he walked past where most petitioners stopped, but his counterpart smiled at him and shook his head. Spike was fine. "Were both of you running Day Court today?"

Luna shook her head, her ethereal mane swirling behind her. "I am afraid not, Spike Sparkle. I merely stopped by to invite my sister to enjoy dinner with me."

Spike cringed and took a step back. "I can, uh, come back some other day?" he offered, "I don't want to get in the way of your sisterly bonding."

"That's quite alright, Spike, Day Court is still in session," Celestia said, her voice calm, even, and inviting, "and besides, I wouldn't do that to a friend. I'm sure Luna will live even if we run over time and I'm a few minutes late."

Luna stuck her tongue out at her older sister. "I shall order extra alfalfa for you, sister, if your tardiness is excessive." Celestia drew back in a mock gasp, looking as though the Princess of the Night had threatened to drown Philomena. After a second, they broke down into laughter, and Luna walked away from the throne and through her curtain out of the throne room. "I wish you two well in your talk! But tarry not for too long, dear sister, or I shall ensure you stick to your diet!" And with that, she was gone.

Celestia and Spike turned to face each other. "So, my little dragon, what did you come here to talk about? Not that I don't love your visits no matter the reason, but you usually don't register for Day Court when you just want to talk about your latest adventure with the girls. Or especially Rarity."

Spike blushed a little, recalling his and Rarity's last trip into the gem mines near Ponyville. "Yeah, well, this feels serious. Er, more serious? It has that 'weight' thing that Twilight reads about in her crime drama novels."

The alabaster alicorn rose from her throne and descended the steps to stand next to the dragon. "Well, I will do my best to help support that weight with you."

"Thanks, Prin- thanks, Celestia," Spike said. He had to crane his neck up a bit further, but this felt more like an easy, casual conversation. "I've been thinking about growing up, and I'm worried. Dragons live a long time."

"Oh, Spike," Celestia said in a motherly tone, "you're far too young to worry about outliving your frien-"

"No, no, not that," Spike interjected, "I think I've got a decent handle on that. Well, I'm sure it'll pop up again when the time gets closer, but I think I've got it for now. No, it's more..." He sighed. "When Twilight and I first came to Ponyville, she was against making friends, and kinda bad at the whole 'friendship' thing for quite awhile longer."

Celestia giggled. "Oh, yes, I do remember her mentioning that in her first Friendship Report, to show how she had grown." She tilted her head, trying to read him. "Are you...? Ah, my apologies, Spike. I'll let you tell it at your own speed."

The dragon smiled at her. "Thanks. And no, I'm not wondering if there's anything I'm wrong about or missing out on. I may be Spike the Brave and Glorious, but I'm not Spike the omnisss... omnisha..."

"Omniscient?"

"Yeah, that. I don't know everything. Nopony does." His smile twisted into a wry smirk. "Not even you, Princess. I've heard how often Luna pranks you."

"Would you believe I fell for them on purpose to cheer her up?"

"Nnnnope."

"Drat."

Another shared laugh. "No, but..." Spike's smile fell. "The thing is, ponies change. Griffons change. Changelings change - hay, I sang a whole song about it! And Ember and Garble have shown me that dragons change, too." He looked up at the co-ruler of the land, eyes wide in a sad, pleading stare. "What if I change too much? What if I grow up to be like that Power Ponies villain, Wild Card, and start thinking that Equestrian society is bad at the roots? What if-"

A look of horrified realization spread over his features. His crest and fins sank, and he trembled as he finished in a small voice.

"What if, like Tempest Shadow, I start thinking that friendship and being nice was a thing for foals and little hatchlings?"

"Aw, Spike..." Celestia said in a soft voice. She leaned her head down and gently nuzzled him before continuing, "there's no way to predict how you'll change. But remember, Twilight ultimately showed Tempest the magic of friendship anew. I have faith that friendship and harmony will prevail in everypony, and as an alicorn and a dragon, we have so much more time for it to return in us, should we falter, ourselves."

Spike still looked close to crying, but he had a small smile on his face. "What, you, falter in friendship?" He snorted and waved a claw dismissively. "You're Princess Celestia! You're, like, the epitome of peace and harmony!"

"Don't say that around Luna," Celestia quipped, "she's seen my nightmares. But, Spike, would you like to know one of the best ways of keeping yourself from... becoming a Power Pony villain?" The alicorn mare leaned in, as though about to divulge a particularly juicy secret.

The dragon stared at her, cautious hope in his wide eyes, and nodded.

"It's... friends," the Princess said with a smile, "friends who can cheer you up when you're down, friends who give you a reason to keep on trotting..." she paused, her expression turning wistful as she gazed toward's Luna's throne. "Friends who notice when you feel like the world is against you, and can bring you back before it's too late..."

Spike followed her gaze, then reached out to reassuringly pet her foreleg. "Princess, I'm sure you didn't know any better."

Celestia looked back at him, and returned to smiling softly. "You're right, Spike, I didn't. I wasn't used to being a Princess back then, and I lost my dearest friend for that change." She took a deep breath, then straightened and gave him a more confident smile. "But, again, I learned the error of my ways, and that was also a change, as was the rest of those thousand years. And believe me, since she's returned, we've also changed quite a bit with how we think of and talk with each other. I honestly believe it will all turn out for the best in the end, as long as you keep on learning. Even when you're as old and ancient and know-it-all and boring as me!" Celestia's eyes widened and she covered her mouth with her hooves, then glared around the room.

"Oh, come now," the disembodied voice of Discord said, "surely you weren't going to lecture one of my O&O buddies about change and not even invite me? I even brought you a cake! Banana-vanilla, your favorite."

"Pardon me if I don't exactly believe you," Celestia said, testily.

"Well, too bad. You get me anyway!" The draconequus's upper body popped out of Celestia's billowy mane, holding a one-layer cake with a crude drawing of Celestia on the icing. He immediately smashed it into her face. "Well, that's my gag for this. Discord away!" Discord's body liquified and fell to the floor, where it slipped away through the cracks in the tiles.

Celestia sighed and lifted the cake away from her in her magic. She looked at Spike, then at the cake. "Don't tell Luna?"

Spike mimed zipping his lips; Celestia licked hers. Just before she took a bite, she smiled serenely down at the young dragon. "I hope I was able to help you, my little dragon."

He gave her a grin and a thumbs-up. "I think I got it. Thanks, Celestia!"

"Anytime, Spike. Have a good day," she said, and the two of them parted ways, to opposite ends of the throne room.

Spike was distracted again as he left the castle. But this time, his smile wasn't from the gorgeous architecture and decor, but rather the memory of his conversation, and what he learned from it.

#My Little Pony #mlp #smaugust #fanfiction #dragon #Princess Celestia #spike #writing #writers on tumblr #smaugust 2020 #text

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lepeintre-louis-david · 3 years

Text

At its first meeting, held on February 27, 1792 in the Grand Salon of the Louvre, the jury was constituted. Vincent was appointed president, and, upon David's refusal, Regnault, vice-president. Several sessions were spent in procuring another room, in responding to artists who requested that the deliberations be public, and in resolving several questions which had arisen concerning the distribution of funding to the different genres in painting. David, who had been excused because of the drawings to be made for the patriotic feast of the soldiers of Châteauvieux, had at first given up all manner of prize; then having reconsidered his decision he made it known that he would accept the result of the votes of his colleagues.

The prizes were distributed as follows:

Historical painting.— MM. David, 7,000 livres; Regnault, 6.000; Vincent, 5,000; Taillasson, 4, 000; Vernet, 4, 000; Lefevre, 3,000; Forty, 3,000; Bonvoisin, 3,000.

Sculpture.— MM. .Julien, 10,000 livres; Chaudet, 5, 000; Maison, 5,000; Lucas, 3,000; Boizot, 3,000; Roland, 3,000; Boichot, 3,000; Dardel, 3,000.

Genre painting— MM. Taunay, 3,000 livres; Bidault, 2,000; Robert-Lefèvre, 2,000; Machy, 1,000; Bouillard (Mlle), 1,000 ; Bertaux, 1,000.

Architecture — M. Muly, 3,000 livres.

Engraving — M. Servie, 3,000 livres.

Gem-working — M. de Jouy, 1,500 livres. Medals — M. Dupré, 1,500 livres.

Hardly was the judgment known than "the posters, announcements and various notices or Journal général de France" published the following letter:

15 April, 1792

To the Editor,

Sir,

Here is the copy of a letter which I have just addressed to the Gentleman Commissioners, judges of the artists. I think you can serve them and prevent mistakes by printing it in your journal. I am, etc.

Ritt

Artist exhibitor.

Gentlemen, the Commission, responsible for the distribution of support work, is composed of distinguished artists in different genres. Their judgments are watched. They will classify in public opinion what one should think of the virtues and enlightened thought of artists appointed judges of their competitors, which will result in either the esteem or contempt of this class of citizens presumed enlightened and virtuous.

I have the honor of being an artist; what you are occupied with occupies me, and I was terrified, Gentlemen, by your first judgment.

What! You gave the first prize to M. David; but were you judging therefore on commonplace reputation as well, and not on the only works that must compete, as the law obliges you to do!

I want M. David to be, in many ways, the most skillful; but you could only judge him on a portrait and a draft painting.

Are you ignorant, Gentlemen, of the conditions adopted in all the Academies and in all the competitions: it is that ‘an item which has already appeared is rejected and inadmissible.’ If it were otherwise, what is called a competition would no longer be a competition, since a work already renowned would be sure of victory, and then a creator could always compete with the same work and with the same success. Moreover, the more a piece of painting or sculpture has succeeded, the more its surroundings have received rewards: in accommodation at the Louvre, in academic honors, in advantageous commissions, and indeed, the more it is given a brilliant and useful reputation.

You must not. Gentlemen, give prizes only to the good works which, for the first time, were seen at the Salon of 1791, and not to others. Otherwise, you will be accused of being unjust and poorly educated: two equally withering imputations for the body of artists. I do not indicate to you the works which can secure your votes; but you have enough to give them recompense.

Some people who knew of your judgment yesterday have cried out that you are making determinations according to democratic or aristocratic systems (1). I have publicly reassured them, knowing that you have only to pronounce on the merit of new works, rather than on the fleeting favor of any faction.

P.-S. David is said to have appropriately renounced the contest. We could not therefore designate him for any reward, if he wanted to waste time, or flatter him excessively; a disastrous favor which your friendship should spare him.

This letter was a forgery, and the work of an enemy of David’s.

(1) In other words, that the decision is being made based on the politics of the artist rather than on the quality of the work

#jacques-louis david #art history #ch3_lpld #révolution française

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