#Feel free to let me know if that is the case

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 18: Don't Let Me Go

Summary: Things have gone wrong in your pack's absence. Can they make it back in time before irreparable damage is done? Can they fix the damage that's already been dealt?

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Word Count: 10,232...oops

Warnings: ANGST, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, ANGST, anxiety, fear, panic attacks, very descriptive scenes of panic and anxiety, very heavy emotionally in the beginning, major invasions of privacy, hurt/sort of comfort, very brief mention of violence and death, and most importantly: fluff

A/N: Yeah, so this one kind of got away from me. It's definitely one of my favorite chapters now, and it's definitely the longest so far. It's pretty heavy, so plan something fun afterwards because it will hurt. I tried to catch all the possible triggers, but of course, if I miss one let me know. I promise things will begin to take a turn for the happier after this, at least for a bit. Picks up pretty much right where chapter 17 left off.

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You’re shaking. Your breaths are coming in gasps as you stare at your open door. There’s no scent in the air, nothing that would give you a hint of who invaded your space, or if they’re still in there. You should leave, barricade yourself somewhere and call Dr. Keller, or even Kate. 

What could they do, though? Your pack won’t be home until tomorrow at the earliest. 

No one can help you. 

You slowly push your door open, ready to run in case someone is hiding inside. You stand in the doorway, scanning the small space, but there’s no sign of anyone. There’s still no scent either, just your own mingled with the slight chemical burn of scent blockers. Your eyes scan the room, looking for anything that might be new, anything that might be missing, anything that might be slightly out of place. 

The clothes on the floor are slightly rumpled, but you’re not sure if you did that in your haste to pull on shoes before you left, or if they’ve been that way since the knock sounded on your door. You lift your gaze to the ceiling, scanning it and that’s when you notice it. The cover over the vent is slightly out of place. You likely wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t been paying attention, if you hadn’t looked. 

The thought sends a chill running down your spine. 

You keep your eyes on the vent as you grab your desk chair, kicking clothes out of the way as you move it under the vent. You stand on the chair, reaching for the vent, but it’s not quite enough. You shove the chair to the side, taking everything off your desk before you pull it under the vent. You climb up on shaky legs, your heart thudding in your chest as you remove the vent cover. 

Nausea twists at your stomach as your breath leaves you in a sharp gasp. There, strategically placed between two of the gaps in the vent cover, is a camera. It’s small, and would have been invisible just staring at the vent from below. You feel like you might be sick as you pull it free from the vent cover, staring down into the tiny lens. 

How long has it been up there? 

You drop the camera onto your desk, your fingers shaking and trembling as you feel along the edges of the vent, checking for anything else that might be hiding up there. You replace the cover after you find nothing, a sense of dread filling you. 

Had the guys put it up so they could watch you, make sure that you’re safe? Had they put it up there before you arrived? You think about all the times you’ve changed in your room, your heat. 

You climb down from the desk, tugging it further towards the center of the room before you climb back up, unscrewing the cover off the light. You check the bulb, looking for any cameras or recording devices. You screw the cover of the light back on after finding none, a quiet sob leaving your lips as you look around your room. 

You close the door and lock it before you begin your search, checking every corner and piece of furniture for cameras or recording devices. You empty the dresser and closet, checking every drawer and corner for anything suspicious. 

You pull recording devices from under your desk and the back of your nightstand, the adhesive still fresh enough they pop right off. A cold sweat has overtaken you as you find another recording device and another camera, adding them to the growing pile on your desk. 

A quiet sob of fear leaves your lips as you check the bathroom, tearing your room apart to check every inch. You search up a tutorial on YouTube, using your phone to check for more possible cameras that you might have missed. 

You stare down at the pile of cameras and recording devices on your desk. Someone entered your room and planted them while you were with General Shepherd. It had all been deliberate. Get you away from your room and distracted so they could enter and set up the devices. You wonder if it’s all part of some sick plan, some way to ensure things are going well with your pack. General Shepherd had been very interested in your mark, invading your space without a moment of hesitation to see it firsthand. You would have shown him, had he asked to see it. Instead he’d just done it himself, as if it was nothing. 

Your hands are shaking as you find a ziploc bag in the mess you’ve made of your room, putting the cameras and recording devices into it. You drop it onto the floor before stepping on it, listening to the crack of metal and plastic and glass under your shoe. Tears slip down your cheeks as you pick up the bag of broken pieces, taking it to the bathroom. You hide it far in the back of the cupboard beneath the sink, piling things around it and on top of it to keep it hidden. 

You stand in the doorway of the bathroom, your skin crawling as you stare at the mess. You don’t feel safe anymore, not even in your own space. The thought of someone breaching the sacred space, entering your room without a second thought to put up cameras makes your stomach churn. 

Where will you go? You can’t just leave, find somewhere else to feel safe. What if they did the same to the guys’ rooms? There could have been an entire team of people that came in and put cameras up all over the barracks. A sob leaves your lips as you rush to the door, double checking it’s locked before you shove the dresser against it. You flip your desk up to cover the window as much as it can, just in case anyone tries to climb in.  

You sink to the floor in the middle of the disaster that has become your room, sobbing quietly. You want your pack home, you want to feel safe again. You glance at your phone where it’s sitting on a pile of shirts, afraid to even touch it. That woman could have done anything to it while you were with General Shepherd. What if they’re trying to call you and they can’t reach you? 

You should try to reach Dr. Keller, tell her what happened, get her to check if there’s anyone lurking around the barracks that shouldn’t be. What if they try to attack her, though? Can she defend herself? You don’t know if she can fight or not. What if she gets hurt because of you? She could ask someone else on base to look, but what if they were involved in it? What if it was someone already on base that had done it? The thought nearly makes you sick. 

You’re scared to leave again. What if they’ve noticed you found the cameras and come back while you’re gone? What if they come back while you’re here? 

The tears flow freely as you sob, too afraid to even move. You can feel it, the panic starting to bubble up again, the fear welling inside you. Your muscles begin to tense, shoulders pulling up near your ears as you try to defend yourself from this invisible threat. It’s an easy slope from fear to distress, and there’s no one to help you if you start distressing. You press your palms into your eyes, holding your breath to try and shock your body into something other than panic. 

You bite back a startled scream as a knock sounds at the door, your heart rate spiking again. 

“It’s just me,” Dr. Keller’s voice sounds through the door. “Ready for dinner?” 

You take a deep breath, staring at the dresser blocking your door. You’ll have to move it to get out, which she’ll likely notice. You could lie, you could lie easily, but you’re not sure you could keep it up right now. She’ll notice the tears, the obvious signs of panic and distress. She’ll want to know, and you can’t trust yourself not to spill everything. 

You should tell her about what had happened, but you know she’ll be disappointed. She’ll think you were stupid for leaving, for not even sending her a text. She’ll tell John when he returns, too. He should know about it, but there’s no way a high ranking General could arrive on base without them knowing, especially one that’s their commander. Maybe it had all been a test. Maybe they do know about General Shepherd and just forgot to tell you this was going to happen. 

Maybe Dr. Keller even knew about it, and didn’t say anything because she thought you knew too. 

“I-I’m not hungry.” You say, trying to keep your voice from shaking. 

There’s a pause outside the door for a moment, a beat of silence that’s too loud.

“Is everything alright?” She finally asks. 

“Y-Yeah.” You say, clearing your throat. “Just...not really hungry right now.” 

It’s silent again for a beat, making you hold your breath anxiously. 

“Are you sure? I can come back later, or bring you dinner.” She says. 

“I’m sure.” You swallow the tears welling in your eyes again. “I’ll grab a snack if I get hungry later.” 

“Okay...” She says, and you can almost see the frown on her face. “Text or call if you need anything, alright?” 

“Yeah.” You say, your voice cracking a bit. 

You regret it almost instantly, the urge to shove the dresser out of the way and fling the door open strong as you hear her receding steps down the hallway. You don’t want to be alone, but Dr. Keller can’t give you what you need. The tears start falling again, sliding down your cheeks as you flop onto your back, ignoring the way the edge of a book digs into your spine. 

You just want your pack back. You want John to scoop you up into his arms and wrap you in his warmth and soothing scent. You want Kyle and Johnny to squish you between them, sandwich you so tightly you’re scared you might burst. You want Ghost to wrap himself around you and offer you a blanket of protection against anyone who would even dare cast a glance in your direction. 

You just want to feel at home again. 

You want to be safe again. 

***

The emotional and physical exhaustion pushes you into the state between consciousness and sleep. You’ve moved to your bed, tucked under the covers and stuck between the wall and your giant bear, as if it could offer you some form of protection as you float between awareness and somewhere in the realm of sleep for a few hours.

You’re not sure what time it is, when the disruption comes. It takes you a moment to register why you’re awake. Some deep part of your brain is prickling, sending out warning signals to your body. Something’s happening, something’s wrong, something’s posing a threat. 

You hold your breath in the silence of the barracks, listening to the slow, quiet footsteps making their way down the hall. For a moment you think you might be imagining them, that you’re still asleep and dreaming. Your fingers pinch at your skin, nails digging in to confirm that you are, in fact, awake. This is really happening. 

Your heartbeat picks up, the bitter stench of fear that’s coated your room intensifying as the footsteps pause outside your door. You let out a quiet, shaky breath as you lay there, thinking up every time you checked the door in the last few hours to ensure it was locked and the dresser was still pushed in front of it. 

You cover your mouth as the door handle wiggles, catching on the lock. The whimper of fear threatening to rise catches in your throat as you hold your breath, your body trembling under your blankets. You should reach for your phone, send a text to Kate, call Dr. Keller, do something. Yet, you’re frozen in fear as the handle continues to wiggle before stopping. 

You don’t release a breath until the footsteps fade, a quiet whimper slipping from your lips. Someone just tried to get into your room. 

You’re panicking, breaths coming in short, sharp gasps as you burrow under your covers, barricading yourself between the wall and your bear, hoping you’ll be invisible in case they come back, in case they force their way in. You can’t fight, not after the day you’ve had. The best you can hope for is that your scent is rank enough in the room it’ll deter whoever is trying to get in. 

You need tomorrow to come, and fast. 

***

Daylight doesn't bring any sense of comfort. 

All it does is shed more light on the disaster your room has become, the physical representation of your internal thoughts and feelings. Your face feels puffy from crying, and there’s a bad taste in your mouth. You haven’t brushed your teeth since yesterday, nor have you showered, too scared to put yourself in such a vulnerable position. 

You glance at your phone, checking for missed calls, but there’s none. Dr. Keller will be by soon to get you for breakfast, but you’re not sure you can stand going to the mess. The idea of leaving your room, leaving it empty so anyone could just walk in and bug it or touch your things or hide out so they can take revenge on you for finding and destroying their cameras and recording devices has you paralyzed. 

That must have been what whoever entered the barracks last night had come to do. Maybe they thought you’d spend the night in one of the other rooms and they’d come to replace them. Or, maybe they wanted you to be in your room. Maybe that was the plan all along. 

The thought sends a chill running down your spine. 

You burrow back under your blankets, curling up against your giant teddy bear. You wish it was Price, that his arm would wrap around you and hold you close, keep you safe and protected in his arms. You’d take any of them right now, even Ghost. At least you know he’d protect you, especially if someone tried to enter the barracks without permission. 

You’re still lying there when Dr. Keller arrives. You stare at the dresser still pushed against the door, keeping you from opening it. Not that you really want to. You can’t stop the anxiety from taking over, bringing forward the image of Dr. Keller held at gunpoint on the other side of the door, trying to trick you into opening it so whoever tried to get in last night can finally do what they came to do. 

You know it’s a ridiculous thought. No one would be that stupid in broad daylight, and you doubt Dr. Keller would let something like that happen to her. She’d put up a fight, or at least you hope so. 

You can’t move the dresser without her knowing you’d pushed it against the door, which will only prompt questions. Questions you don’t want to answer. 

She calls your name through the door, concern lacing her voice. “Everything alright?” 

No. You want to scream it, tears gathering in your eyes again. You want to push the dresser out of the way, throw open the door and confess everything that’s happened in the last few hours to her. You want to bring her into your space, keep her there until your pack returns so you can feel even just an ounce of safety. 

But what if she gets mad? 

Leaving yesterday was stupid. Going off with some unknown beta without telling anyone was the dumbest thing you’ve done since your arrival on base. She’ll be disappointed and she’ll tell your pack and they’ll be disappointed that you didn’t say anything to her about it. Even if they knew it happened, they’d still be disappointed that you didn’t think to even question it, that you didn’t think to let Dr. Keller know what was going on. 

You made a stupid decision, and you won’t be able to take their disappointment and anger. Not after everything. 

“Yeah.” You call out, your voice shaking. “I-I’m alright.” 

You can tell she doesn’t believe you, even though you can’t see her. She probably has that look on her face she gets when she knows you’re not telling the whole truth. You take a deep breath, trying to calm the racing of your heart. You’re afraid it might give out after the stress of the last few days. 

“Are you ready for breakfast?” She finally asks, likely giving up on trying to get any more details from you. 

You’re not hungry, and you know going to the mess will not end well. The risk of distressing is high, and the thought that any one in the mess might have been the intruder last night nearly sends you over the edge. One wrong glance in your direction might cause you to do something reckless. “I’m not hungry.” You finally say, pulling the blankets tighter around you. 

“Are you sure?” She asks. “Did you eat something last night?” 

“Yeah.” You lie, trying to keep your voice from breaking. “I had some snacks.” 

Her feet shuffle outside the door for a moment, and you can almost hear her sigh. “If you’re sure?” 

“I-I’m sure.” You reply. 

There’s a moment of silence before you get a response, your breath catching in your throat from the nerves. “Alright.” She finally says. “I got word that your pack will be landing in a couple of hours and we have permission to go out to the airfield and greet them. I’ll come back to get you when it’s time. If you need anything, call me.” 

You listen to her footsteps recede down the hallway, tears burning your eyes. You hate lying. You feel bad for keeping the truth from her, but the shame of revealing what you did is too strong. 

You hastily wipe your eyes, staring at the mess on your floor. You need to get your room back to at least its somewhat normal state, and you need to put yourself back to your normal state as well. If anyone gets any hint that something is wrong, you might crack, and you’re not sure you could handle the repercussions. 

You start with the desk, flipping it back the way it’s supposed to be and positioning it as close to where it was as you can get. You collect the books and other little things that go on it, trying to arrange it as close to how it normally is. You know they’ll notice if any little thing is out of place, if anything looks suspicious. You can blame some of it on cleaning, if they ask. You did some deep cleaning while they were away. That’s one way of putting it. 

You push the dresser back into place next, putting the drawers back in before starting on the clothes, putting everything back where it belongs. You make your bed last, the urge to nest gone completely. You’re shaking with exhaustion by the time you finish, tempted to crawl back into bed, but you know you can’t. Your pack is coming back, and you need everything to look like it’s fine still. 

They’ll notice. They’ll see it, and they’ll ask, and you’ll have to spill everything and face the shame and anger from being so stupid. 

Tears burn your eyes as you slip your desk chair under the door handle, making sure it’s secure before heading to the shower to get ready for your pack’s imminent return. You shower with the door open, getting done quickly to avoid being vulnerable for long. You try to make yourself look as decent as possible, ignoring the fact that there’s broken cameras and recording devices hidden under the sink. Eventually you’ll forget. Eventually it’ll fade from your mind and become nothing more than a forgotten nightmare. 

One of many. 

You toss your pajamas on the floor haphazardly, just to make things look more normal. You know if it’s too clean, that might raise some suspicions as well. You don’t want to give away that something happened, you don’t want to raise any suspicions. You just want things to go back to normal. You want your pack back, and you want to feel safe again. 

At least, until they have to leave again. 

You sink to the floor, leaning up against your bed as you wait for Dr. Keller to take you to greet your pack when they return. 

***

Every minute seems to drag on infinitely as you stare across the tarmac. They’ll be landing any minute. Any minute now the nightmare will be over and you’ll get to see your pack again after days of being apart. Finally, maybe, you can begin to feel safe again. 

You watch the plane as it comes in to land, your hands already trembling in anticipation. There’s a twisting in your stomach, you’re not sure if it’s worry or fear or excitement. They’re so close, so close you can almost smell them. Your omega is scratching at the back of your brain, your muscles twitching as the ramp begins to lower on the plane. You need to see them, you need to smell them, you need to ensure they’re alright. 

You can’t stop yourself. As soon as their boots hit the tarmac, you’re running. You don’t care if you’re breaking rules, you don’t care if the other soldiers get worried, or see you as a possible threat, you need to be in your alpha’s arms again. 

John grunts from the force of you hitting him, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You throw your arms around him, clinging to him as tight as you can. You’re whimpering, the quiet sounds dragging from your lips but you don’t care. You press your face into his chest, breathing him in. He smells like sweat and musk, the sharp metallic tang of gunpowder burning your nose. Yet, underneath it all, you can make out the earthy scent, the petrichor going straight to your brain. 

His arms wrap tight around you, squishing you up against his chest. His vest digs into your skin, but you don’t care. You can’t feel much of anything but relief. His breath fans your forehead as he leans down, his hand cupping the back of your head. He shushes you gently, pressing a kiss to your forehead. Tears fill your eyes as you cling to him, fingers gripping his shirt tightly like you’re afraid he might disappear again. If it wasn’t for the pain in your chest, you might have thought this was all a dream, that they might disappear suddenly and you’ll wake up alone again. 

“Easy.” John rumbles, gently stroking the back of your head. 

You cling to him tighter as his hand gets close to your neck, the thought of General Shepherd’s hand being so close to your neck where he could scruff you so easily making your insides squirm. 

He’s gone. He’s gone and your pack is here. 

“You’re alright.” John tries to reassure you, squeezing his arms around your trembling form. “I’ve got you.” 

You keep your face pressed against his chest, breathing him in, trying to get his scent to calm the raging storm within you. Your omega is still scratching at the back of your mind, a deep need to claw your way under John’s skin and into his body pushing at the front of your mind. You won’t be safe until you’ve been utterly consumed by him, until you’re safely tucked where no one can hurt you without going through him first. 

“Alpha,” You whine quietly, nuzzling your face against his chest. His clothes are in the way, a barrier against what you need. To feel him, to smell him fully again. 

“Easy.” He says, grabbing your hands as they shift towards the velcro straps of his tactical vest. “Let’s get back to the barracks first before we start that, sweetheart.” 

You don’t want to go back to the barracks. It’s not safe anymore. What if there’s someone waiting there for you to return? What if they get hurt because you don’t tell them what happened? What if you get hurt and cause them pain? 

“You’re alright.” John says, stroking the back of your head as he begins to ease your grip on him. “There’s a couple of muppets here who I think would like to greet you too.” 

Right. You’re so caught up in your alpha, you forgot the rest of your pack. You slowly allow yourself to be peeled away from John, Kyle right there to let you cling to him. 

And so you do. 

Your grip around him is just as tight, ignoring the uncomfortable ridges of his own vest. He holds you just as tightly, projecting his scent just a bit to try and calm you. Someone presses against your back, arms wrapping around both you and Kyle. The scent of citrus lined with beta invades your nose, Johnny squishing you into a sandwich between them. Your eyes squeeze shut as citrus and salty sea air blend together, the beta’s scents reaching deep into your brain to try and ease some of the tension in your body. 

They’re back. They’re safe. You’re safe. 

Now you just have to convince yourself of that fact. 

***

“How was she?” John asks as he approaches Dr. Keller. 

“Held it together longer than I thought she would.” She says. “Things took a turn yesterday afternoon. Shut herself in her room and wouldn’t come out. I don’t think she’s eaten anything since lunch yesterday either.” 

“We’ll get some food in her.” John says. “Thank you, for looking after her for us.” 

“Well, it is partly my job.” Dr. Keller shrugs. “Always happy to do it.” 

“Things will get easier, won’t they?” He asks. 

“Eventually. She’ll learn what coping mechanisms help and she’ll adapt.” 

“Hopefully at least one of us will be able to stay moving forward. I don’t like leaving her here alone.” He grimaces. 

“Separation is hard no matter what, especially with limited contact, on all parties involved.” She gives him a look. “I think the best thing you can do right now is just be together as a pack. Let those bonds heal and let her do what she needs.” 

“Thank you, doctor.” John says, shaking her hand. 

“Call me, if you need anything, as usual.” Dr. Keller says, watching his retreating back before getting into her car to make the short drive back to the medical center. 

John gets into the car waiting to take them back to the barracks, sitting next to Kyle who’s holding you straddling his lap, your face pressed into his neck. “That looks safe.” He remarks, even though they wouldn’t be going very fast, or very far. 

“Couldn’t get her to let go.” Kyle says, tightening his hold around you as the car begins moving. 

“You’re alright, sweetheart.” John says, rubbing your back gently. 

You turn your face to look at him, your eyes red from the numerous tears you’ve already shed, and the ones still trailing down your face. The guilt nearly makes him sick as he stares at you, feeling the slight tremble still from where his hand rests against your back. 

He’d never say it out loud, but he hates the fact they had to leave you, all four of them at once too. He’d fought, argued. He and Simon could have handled it on their own, even him and the two Sergeants would have been sufficient. Anything not to leave you by yourself during their first deployment. 

Despite his attempts, General Shepherd had been insistent that all four of them were necessary for this particular task. 

So, he had been forced to leave you behind on your own. It’s gone about as well as he expected, from the looks of it. He knew the separation would get to you eventually. The stress would grow to be too much. Every day he anticipated the news to come from Kate that you had distressed and your omega had taken over because he wasn’t there to help you. 

Every day he waited for the news that they’d lost you because the brass that put this initiative into place couldn’t understand why taking them all at once was a bad idea. 

Or maybe that was their plan all along. 

He couldn’t stop the conspiratorial thoughts running through his head as their mission dragged on. What if they were doing this on purpose? It wouldn’t be that strange to push the boundaries of what could be tolerated for the purpose of testing just how effective the initiative really could be. But pushing it like that so soon? Sure, he could rationalize it was possible. War could break out at any moment, which would require most military members to leave, to be separated from their packs for months or even years. His own team could be called out at any time for months working to eliminate a target and stop war from breaking out. 

Yet, he can’t help but feel there was something more, something deeper going on. What if they had called away for more nefarious reasons? What if getting you alone had been the reason behind General Shepherd’s insistence that all four of them were necessary for this particular task? He had refused to entertain those dark thoughts for too long, the fear of leaving you alone already itching in the back of his mind from the moment they boarded the plane to leave. 

He hadn’t been able to hide his relief at hearing your voice on the phone. Though you had sounded upset, and rightfully so, his worries had been lessened in knowing you were alright. You would tell them if something had happened. He knows you wouldn’t keep something that serious a secret. If someone had hurt you, or had tried to hurt you, you would tell one of them. 

Even though he trusts you, he does plan to speak to Dr. Keller more in depth later to ensure everything went as fine as she seemed to imply it did. Obviously their absence has been hard on you, but he needs to make sure you really will be alright, that you will be able to come back from the obvious distress this has caused you. 

***

You finally release your constricting hold on Kyle as the car pulls up outside the barracks. Even with them back, it still doesn't feel like home anymore, not after such sacred space was invaded so easily, so nonchalantly. Kyle climbs out of the car, setting you on your feet on the ground. You look between him and John, realizing Ghost and Johnny are still in the car. Your stomach falls as you realize what they're about to say, tears gathering in your eyes again.

“We still have some things we need to do.” John says, reaching towards you. 

You have the momentary urge to flinch from his touch, but you let his hand cup your cheek. “You're leaving me again.” You say, your voice breaking. 

John almost looks guilty. He almost looks upset by your visible turmoil. His hand drops from your cheek to your back, turning you towards the barracks. Your stomach twists as he guides you inside, the fear of someone being inside spiking. You know you're safe with John, that he wouldn’t let anything happen to you, but you'd have to play dumb if they did catch someone inside. You’d have to act like you didn’t know someone had entered before, like you had been unaware of anything going on. That might almost be worse than telling them the truth. 

You inhale as he stops in front of your door, still closed from when you'd left with Dr. Keller. There's no chemical burn of scent blockers, just your scent in the air, and John's scent coming off him as he stands next to you. 

“We won't be long. Maybe an hour at most, and we'll only be across base. We'll come back and we can get lunch before our afternoon meeting. Then we'll just have reports to do, and you can sit in my office while I work on those, okay?” He says. 

Your brows pinch as you try to hold in your tears. You want to tell him, you want to reveal what happened, beg him not to leave you alone here again, but you can't. You can't face that shame, the disappointment you know he'll show on his face at the knowledge that you let that happen. You willingly left with a stranger without telling anyone. You let someone invade your pack's space so easily. They were gone for a week and you screwed everything up. 

“Tomorrow we'll spend the day together. All of us. I promise.” He says wiping the tear that slides down your cheek. 

Even though they're back, you still don't have them. 

You inhale shakily before nodding. “Yeah. Fine.”

John's thumb brushes your cheek for a moment before he leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

You watch his back retreat as he leaves the barracks, leaving you alone again. You think back to when they’d left you, watching his back as he boarded the plane to be taken from you. You stare at the door as the cars drive off, a cold chill running down your spine. What if General Shepherd is still here? What if they're going to meet with him? What if he tells them he met with you while they were gone and they had no idea? 

Maybe you should have been honest with them from the start. 

You stare at your closed door, your hands shaking. What if there's someone inside? What if someone is waiting to take their revenge for you destroying the cameras. What if they put new ones up? 

You should have opened the door while Price was here so you could have at least screamed when someone would hear you. You back away from your door slowly, deciding to wait in the rec room. At least there you might have a chance. You could break a window and run, or at least have a higher chance of making it to a door. 

Would anyone help you? Would anyone come if you screamed? What if they’re all in on it? 

You're shaking as you sink onto the couch, sitting so you can see into the hallway. You want to see them coming so you can prepare yourself, or at least give yourself a chance to make an escape before it’s too late. 

You run through all the things Ghost has taught you in your head as you sit and wait, the minutes dragging by painfully slow. You can feel every second, though that may just be the anxiety and fear pulsing within you. You wish you could sleep, you wish you could relax, you wish you could do anything to make the time go by faster, but yet you remain hypervigilant, staring so hard you flinch at every little shadow your brain convinces you is moving. 

You’re not sure how long you sit there, tense and coiled, ready to spring at a moment’s notice. It can’t be more than an hour as John promised, yet it feels like a lifetime before you hear movement. 

You hold your breath as the barracks door opens, boots thudding with every footstep coming down the hall. You nearly whimper when a figure rounds the corner, before you let out a sigh of relief. 

“Ready for lunch, kitten?” Johnny asks, standing in the doorway of the rec room. 

You swallow the lump in your throat, your hands still clenched into fists. You're breathing hard, your entire body tense. You know you're reaching dangerous territory. Any more panic, you may start distressing. What a welcome home for them, coming back to a distressed omega. They're probably exhausted, and here you are making a scene. 

Hands close around yours. Warm, calloused hands apply gentle pressure, slowly uncurling your fingers. Your hands are shaking, trembling just slightly. 

“Ye alright, kitten?” Johnny asks, kneeling in front of you. When he moved, you're not sure. 

“I-I'm not...” You start, your voice shaking. 

“Ye need tae eat.” He counters, as if he had read your mind, expected the answer.  

He's right. You're beginning to feel it gnawing in your stomach, something deeper than the anxiety. With all the stressing you've been doing, you know you need to eat something. Being hungry is not helping that any, either. 

“I don't want to go to the mess.” You say quickly, the words almost mushing together incoherently. “Too much.” 

Johnny sits back, staring at you for a moment before nodding in understanding. “Alright. That's fair. I'll let the lads know.”

He stands up, leaving you alone in the rec room again. You listen to his footsteps fade, the door opening and closing for a moment. You hold your breath, practically on the edge of your seat. There's no reason they would make you go to the mess. You've eaten in the barracks many times before. 

You blame your worry on your hunger. You know omegas don't do well when hungry. Omegas don't do well being uncomfortable in general. 

Saying these last few days have been uncomfortable for you is a bit of an oversimplification. 

Footsteps echo down the hallway, a familiar hulking figure approaching the rec room. You never thought there would come a time when you would feel relief upon seeing Ghost. Yet here you are, the tension easing from your shoulders as he steps into the rec room. 

“They're grabbing us food.” He says, moving to sit in his usual spot in the chair facing the door. He sighs as he sinks into the cushions, and you can only imagine how tired he must be. 

And here you are making things worse. 

“You're stressed.” He says, staring at you. His eyes are still painted black beneath his mask, adding to the eerie vibe coming off of him. You're beginning to understand why they call him Ghost. “Stinking up the barracks.” He says, pulling out his phone. 

“Oh.” You say quietly, sinking in on yourself as you sit there. “Sorry.” 

You pick nervously at your sweatshirt as you wait for the others to return, letting out a quiet sigh of relief as they enter the rec room, food in hand. 

Johnny sits you on his lap as you eat, making sure you get your fill, likely aware that you haven't eaten yet today thanks to Dr. Keller telling on you. It's quiet in the room as everyone eats, even the TV off. They all look tired and tense, and you can only imagine what happened during their time away. The things they did, the things they saw. You wonder how much blood is on their hands now, hands that have touched you, hands that are holding you. 

They can just go off and kill people and come back and act like nothing has happened. 

You could almost laugh at how psychotic it all sounds. 

This is your life now. This is your new normal. 

“We have a quick meeting. Shouldn't take too long.” John says as they stand, Johnny placing you gently on your feet. 

You tug at your sweatshirt, avoiding his gaze. They're leaving you again. They won't be far this time, but still. You just want to curl up in bed with them and lay there until you feel safe again. 

Tomorrow, John had said. Tomorrow they will be yours. 

It might have been easier if you hadn't been told they were coming home until tomorrow.

***

You tense under the blanket as the door closes, quiet footsteps approaching your position on the couch. There's a quiet sigh as a figure drops to a knee in front of you, their figure visible as a shadow beneath the blanket. 

“Can you breathe under there?” 

You slowly lower the blanket just enough to peek over the top of it. John is kneeling next to the couch, his brows furrowed in a frown. You're in his office, having shut yourself in there while they went into the meeting. John had made you swear not to go snooping as he’d let you inside. You had promised, as you still feel no desire to dig through the likely classified files that were locked in the cabinets and on his computer. Instead you had parked yourself on his couch, burrowing under a blanket that smelled faintly of petrichor and tobacco smoke. 

“There she is.” He says as you peek above the blanket, gently running a hand over the top of your head. “How are you holding up, sweetheart?” 

“You left me.” You say quietly, trying not to burst into tears and confess everything. 

“I know.” He says, wiping the tear that slides down your cheek. “But we came back, just like we promised.” 

He is right in that regard, yet you can’t help the tears as they slide down your cheeks. The ache in your chest that had started to build over the last few days is still present despite their return. Everything is wrong. They feel too far away, too distant. Nothing is safe anymore, nothing is sacred, and they’re just acting like everything is back to normal. 

“Would you like to kneel for me?” He asks, his thumb stroking your cheek. 

You’re tempted to say no. For the first time you feel wary of your alpha. What kinds of things would you admit in your dazed state? If he questioned you, would you give him enough to put together that something had happened and you’ve been trying to hide it from him? Maybe it would help, though. It would at least ease some of the tension that’s built up. Maybe it could pull you back from the edge of distress you’ve been dangling over for almost two days. Maybe he’ll accidentally scruff you and you can forget the whole thing happened. 

The dark thought sends a chill down your spine. 

“Okay.” You say, pushing yourself up to sit. 

John offers you a hand, helping you up off the couch. You don't want to let go of his hand, you don't want to be parted from him. The omega in the back of your mind is screaming at you to get close to him and stay there for the rest of time. If he leaves you again...you're not sure you can handle it. 

He settles in his desk chair, getting everything he needs ready. He'll work on his reports while you kneel, a familiar position, a familiar situation. You've done this before several times. You're not sure why you're suddenly nervous. 

You set the pillow down, dropping to your knees beside him. The chair creaks as he shifts slightly, his hand coming to rest on the back of your head. You fight the urge to flinch, to move away as he gently strokes his hand over your hair. You've done this before, he's done this before. You're not sure why your heart is thudding in your chest. 

His hand slowly moves lower, slipping closer and closer to your neck. You can't help it as your shoulders come up, preventing him from gripping the back of your neck. He moves his hand away as you get defensive, his chair turning slightly as he leans down. 

“It's alright, sweetheart. It's just me.” He soothes you, his hand returning to the top of your head. “I know it's been a while, but I promise I remember what to do.” 

“Sorry, sorry.” You gasp out, trying to relax. “I don't...I don't know...”

You do know. Your brain keeps flashing back to General Shepherd, his hand tugging down your collar, so close to your neck. How easily he could have scruffed you, if he'd wanted to. You would have known if he had, but he could have done anything to you during the time he had control. 

“You're stressed, all worked up.” John says, still stroking the top of your head, trying to soothe you. “It's been a long week for all of us. It was a risk, sending all four of us at once. A stupid risk that shouldn't have been taken.”

You're pulled from your emotional state at the slight hint of anger in his voice. It hadn't taken you long to figure out they likely were all sent in order to get you alone. It would have been impossible to get you out of the barracks and put cameras up with even one of them here. Did he know about Shepherd's visit? Had he put two and two together and figured out they sent all four of them on purpose? You figured he'd be angrier if he knew about what you did, about what they did to you. He would be blazing a path straight to General Shepherd if your alpha knew he got so close to you, put you in that kind of situation. 

At least, you hope he would. There’s still that fear in the back of your mind, that worry that it was all a test and you’ve failed. Would they send you back to the institute? Would they break the bonds and send you to a different pack? Would they send you out on your own, leaving you to fend for yourself until some other alpha crossed your path and decided you were worth it? Does he know you’re lying to him, hiding the truth of what happened while he was away? Is he waiting for you to confess, biding his time to see how long you try to hide it? 

You want to tell him. You really do, but you can't bring yourself to get the words out. You can't bring yourself to confess here on your knees before your alpha. You feel guilty, like a sinner, yet the shame keeps the words trapped inside. 

He continues to soothe you, sliding his hand further down until he reaches your neck. You force yourself to relax, knowing you need this. You need your alpha to take control. You need him to ease the heavy weight on your shoulders, even if he doesn't know what he's lifting. 

You close your eyes as his fingers press into your neck, your brain quieting to a hum as you begin to slip into the back of your mind. You feel the rush of endorphins as your brain begins to calm itself, quieting the storm that's been raging for almost a week. You begin to go numb, relaxing into John's hold as he eases you into a quiet, meditative state. He begins to work on his reports as he holds you, your mind floating off somewhere else, somewhere safer where no one can break in and hurt you, somewhere where the barracks are still secure and safe and your pack never left.

Somewhere where there's no initiative, and your pack picked you because they wanted you, because you were a good omega who did as she was told and didn't make stupid mistakes that put everyone in danger. 

The last of the tension leaves your body, your mind distant from the present moment. You're safe with your alpha. He'd never let anything happen to you. None of your pack would let anything happen to you.

The thought continues to repeat in your head like a mantra as you relax, held up by the strong pillar that is your alpha. 

***

“Report's done, Captain.” Kyle says, placing the stack of papers on John's desk. 

“Thanks.” John sighs, grabbing them. 

Kyle turns to look at you, fast asleep on the couch. “You want me to take her?” He asks, the formality easing between them as they settle into being a pack and not a task force on duty anymore. 

John stares at you, curled up on his lumpy old couch. It’s getting late, or at least it feels that way. You’ve been out, sleeping peacefully on his couch since he eased you out of your kneeling position. You’d clung to him tightly, and for a moment he’d considered holding you, letting you sit with him as you dozed, but he knows he can’t risk you seeing something you shouldn’t. So he’d eased you onto the couch, having to peel your hands away from his shirt. He’d nearly given up and let you keep hold of his shirt before you finally relaxed and released him. 

“Would probably be more comfortable.” He rubs his eyes, feeling the call of sleep himself. He wonders how much you managed to sleep while they were gone. You look tired, though you’ve been looking tired since your heat ended. He needs to rest himself, but he wants to get these reports done so he can keep his promise for tomorrow. “I'll be in there soon.”

“Don't work too hard.” Kyle says, moving to lift you off the couch. 

“No promises.” 

Kyle shakes his head before scooping you up off the couch, blanket and all. You’re still sound asleep as he carries you, pausing in the hallway for a moment. He had just been instinctually going to his room, but would you be more comfortable in your own room? You probably have spent the last week shut inside your space. It might be nice to spend some time somewhere else. 

He takes you into his room, laying you on the bed, making sure you’re comfortable. He needs to shower and throw his clothes in the wash, but he doesn’t want to leave you and risk you waking up without someone there. You’re sleeping deeply, though, not even stirring as he tucks the blanket up higher around you. He doesn't want to crawl into bed smelling like gunpowder and sweat. That might throw you off too. 

He takes the risk, knowing he can do both tasks quickly. No more than twenty minutes to get himself clean and his dirty clothes in the wash, as he prays you stay asleep and won't start panicking if you wake in a strange place. He had sensed how close you had been to distress, how tense you had been when he held you in the car. It’s been a hard week for you, even harder than it had been for them. 

He breathes out a quiet sigh of relief as he finds you still asleep when he returns to his room. You haven't moved at all, still tucked under the blanket from John's office. He gets himself changed and moisturized, rubbing some cream on the bruises that dot his skin. He's going to be sore tomorrow, they all will be, but he knows they won't be doing much. John had already told them tomorrow will be dedicated to spending time with you and helping you recover from the stress of them being gone. He’s silently glad for the break, knowing it could only be a few days before they get called out again. 

John had also told him he’d be pushing harder for one of them to stay whenever he can. He’s not taking this risk again, not if it can be avoided. 

Kyle’s pulling on his sweatpants when you inhale sharply. You're sitting up straight on his bed, eyes wide as you look around in fear. They’re hazy, confusion settling into your mind after going from John’s office to Kyle’s room after kneeling. 

“Hey, hey. It's alright.” Kyle says, moving over to the bed, taking a seat on the edge so he’s in your line of sight. “You're just in my room.”

“Kyle?” You whisper, clarity returning to your gaze as you stare at him. 

“I'm here.” He says. “Just went to take a shower and clean up.”

“Where's John?” You ask, tears gathering in your eyes. 

“Still working on things.” He says, cupping your face. “He'll be in eventually.”

The tears fall from your eyes, sliding down your cheeks. They wet his thumbs as he strokes your skin, your body trembling slightly as you sniffle. 

Something’s wrong. He's known it since you latched onto him on the tarmac. The way you'd held onto him like he might disappear, how you looked almost angry when John told you they still had things to do, the way your scent had filled the barracks, bitter with fear and stress. 

Something’s up, something you're not letting them in on. But, to be fair, they had just left you for a week, up and abandoned you to go play heroes. He wouldn't blame you for not telling them anything. The bonds have weakened. He can feel it, beyond just his natural beta senses. 

“What can I do?” He asks quietly, trying to project his scent a bit to help calm you. He doesn't want you distressing, not after holding it together for so long. 

“I...I need...” You inhale shakily, still trembling in his hold. “I don't know.” You whine, the tears falling faster now. 

He pulls you against his chest, holding you as you cry. He feels the tugging in his chest, sympathy for you and what you must be feeling, along with the guilt of knowing they caused this. They did this just with their absence. 

An idea begins to form in his mind as he holds you, something his family used to do when he was younger. 

He pulls away from you, standing up. “Come on. I have an idea.” 

He strips the blankets from his bed before pulling the mattress off the frame. He drags it to the door and out into the hallway before heading down to John's room. You follow behind him, watching him as he opens the door to John’s room, dragging the mattress in and dropping it on the floor. 

“Stay here.” He tells you, heading back out into the hallway.

“What're ye doin’?” Johnny asks, sticking his head out of his door. 

“Grab your mattress and Simon and meet me in Price's room.” Kyle says as he heads down the hallway, ignoring Johnny's further questioning as he makes for John’s office. 

He doesn't bother knocking, walking right in. John blinks at him from behind the desk, and for a moment Kyle wonders if he'd fallen asleep sitting up. It wouldn't be the first time. 

“Come on.” Kyle says, moving to stand in front of his desk. “Finish those tomorrow.”

“They're important, I have to get them done asap.” John counters. 

“Yeah, well I have something more important.” He leans forward at John's questioning stare. “Your omega needs you.” 

John stares at his beta for a moment, and Kyle can see the gears turning in his head, the debate happening, the conflict in his mind. He so rarely sees his alpha, his captain so indecisive for so long. He's usually so quick to act, analyzing a situation and making a decision in mere seconds. 

If only you knew the things you've done by simply existing in their lives. 

John closes the file on his desk, slipping it into the drawer before locking it. Kyle fights the triumphant grin threatening to form on his face as John stands from his chair after shutting his computer off. Kyle makes his way back down the hallway, John following behind after locking his office door. Kyle stops at his room, grabbing his comforter before heading for John’s room. 

Johnny had obviously gotten the idea of what Kyle had in mind, his mattress and John's laid out side by side so the three make one giant bed for them on the floor. He’s already laid out his own comforter and Simon’s, as well as John’s on the mattresses. They probably wouldn’t need blankets for long with their body heat, but the blend of scents will hopefully begin to ease the tempest raging in your mind. 

You’ve parked yourself in the corner, watching it all happen. You seem so small, so lost, so out of place. It's not all that different from when you'd arrived in their lives. Has being gone for a week really reverted things so drastically for you? Has your stress broken the bonds so much that you feel like a stranger amongst them again? 

Kyle steps over the mattresses, approaching you slowly. You look up from where you had been staring off into space, blinking up at him. Your eyes are still red and watery from crying, your arms clutching one of your stuffed bears against your chest. It’s the one John had scented for you, back when they were trying to get you to nest. He wonders if you’ve nested since they left, if that urge is still there, or if that too has faded. 

Kyle doesn’t often feel angry at his job. Not anymore. He doesn’t often question it. It’s what he signed up for, and he does it because someone has to. He chose this life, so he does his best to be a good soldier, to follow orders. Yet, as he stares down at you, he can’t help but feel anger bristling in the back of his mind. He tries to blame it on his instincts, on the fact that a member of his pack is so upset, so distressed at something that’s happened, and he doesn't know what to do to help. 

Yet he knows they were the cause of it, even if it wasn’t their choice directly. Something happened because of them. He tries to rationalize it. This is an experiment, a test to see how well packs will do with omegas, if it has any effect on how well they can do their jobs, if it makes them stronger, or if it weakens them. Those in charge had obviously put little regard in for how it would affect the omegas. They couldn’t have known how you would react, how badly all of them leaving would affect you. Or maybe they did know, and they simply didn’t care.. Perhaps you weren’t the focus of their study, but you were still a variable, you were still an important piece of this puzzle. 

How can they be more effective if their omega is struggling because of their absence? How can they be expected to function like a team now knowing leaving behind their omega will only cause distress for all of them? 

Kyle takes a deep breath, pushing back the anger and the emotions whirling in his own mind. He needs to focus on you right now, focus on helping you relax, helping you get back to where you were before they left you. He’s doing the best he can do right now for you, giving you what you need, even if you don’t realize it’s what you need yet. 

He holds out his hand to you, staying still as you stare at it. It takes you a moment before you slowly begin to move, slipping one of your hands into his. He guides you to the mattress in the middle, Johnny’s mattress, easing you down to sit on it. You glance around as Johnny and John toss pillows onto the mattresses haphazardly, making sure everything is perfect. It’s not a pretty nest, he’d hardly call it a nest at all, but he knows nesting is not necessarily all about looks. It’s about feeling, and right now, he knows you need to feel safe and secure. 

John quickly changes into more comfortable clothes as Kyle stretches out on the mattress, opening his arms to you. You curl up against his side, resting your cheek against his chest. You press your face into his skin, inhaling for a moment before you settle, slowly beginning to relax in his hold. 

Simon enters the room as John settles on Kyle’s other side, closing the door behind him and locking it, securing the five of you inside. Johnny settles on the other side of you, pressing up close against your back. He pulls one of the comforters up around the three of you before he tosses an arm around you, resting his hand on Kyle’s stomach, sandwiching you between the two betas again. 

Simon stands over the makeshift nest, staring down at the four of you. He’s obviously the most uncomfortable with the situation, and still a bit miffed from your lack of greeting on the tarmac. It was his own fault for being so closed off with you for so long. You had instinctively sought out the members of the pack you felt the most connected to, the most comfortable with in your time of such great stress. 

“Aw come on, ye big bastard, get in the bed.” Soap says, snapping Simon out of his reverie. 

Simon shuts the light off, bathing them in near darkness. You tense for a moment as the lights go off before you slowly relax again. Kyle listens to your breaths even out as Simon gets comfortable on the mattress behind Johnny, the four of them settling in around you. 

It's already warm in the room but none of them would even think of complaining. They’re too focused on surrounding you with their scent and their protection, the very thing you need the most. 

Taglist:

@bobaprint @ashy-kit @anunintentionalwriter @mockerycrow @hayleybarnesx

@protokosmonaut @fruitymoonbeams-blog @blue-blue0 @hindi-si-ikay @thatonepupkai

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@beebeechaos @konigsmissedbeltloop @kaoyamamegami @idkkkkkkk8363 @wallwriterstuff

@smile-child-13 @anomiatartle @dangerkittenclaws @bless-my-demons @mystic60

@evolutionarry @red-hydra @lunaetiicsaystuff @linaangel @codsunshine

@thriving-n-jiving @slayerx147 @ferns-fics @spicyspicyliving @cityoffallencrows

@ttsbaby01 @heeheehoohoohahahihi @sleepyoriana @ihatethinkingofnames10 @cassiecasluciluce

@darling006 @sheep-from-rad @ohgodthebogisback @willow-sages @scythemood

@daniblogs164 @mirzamsaiph

#call of duty #call of duty fic #task force 141 x reader #poly task force 141 #john price x reader #captain price x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader #john soap mactavish x reader #soap x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #x reader #alpha/beta/omega #a/b/o #omegaverse

[inkdrinkerworld]

season 11 spencer after he bulks up a little with his 3 piece suits and broad shoulders but he still has a baby face is so special to me.

i know he gives the best cuddles and he could talk me off a literal bridge with his sweet voice

Ugh when he comes out of prison I’m just 🤤🤤🤤 mention of reader having had a stomach bug but it's just a passing comment.

“What’s with that face?” You're laying in bed, in one of Spencer's boxers resting low on your hips and your sports bra that expose his favourite parts of you..

"I'm tired and you woke me up early with no kiss, Spencer." You try for as petulant as you feel, pouting all the while your boyfriend smiles from the doorway with a mug of coffee in his hands.

"I asked you to come join me outside for breakfast, the vitamin d will help with your cabin fever."

You and Spencer have been at home for the last couple of days because you had caught a very nasty stomach bug and Spencer had insisted on helping with the case from home. He still isn't ready to leave your side yet.

"That's no reason to begrudge the love of your life a good morning kiss." You roll off the bed, snatching your latest obsession- crossword puzzle books- off the nightstand and stomping to your boyfriend.

"Good morning," he says quietly, his free hand settling on your hip, his thumb dragging along the stretchmarks and moles that litter the skin there. You tip your chin up on your own accord, your nose bumping Spencer's as you eagerly reach for his face in a kiss.

Spencer leads the kiss easily, tongue and teeth exploring your mouth slowly before he pulls away. Your eyes are still closed as you chase his lips making him chuckle.

"Hi," you say breathlessly, your hands dropping from his face to his shoulders. "What did you make for breakfast?"

Spencer slots his fingers through yours, leading you to the kitchen to collect a tray filled with both your favourites.

"A bit of everything, c'mon sweetheart." Spencer sits first on the porch swing first, holding the tray with one hand before reaching for you with his other one.

You let yourself be arranged in his lap, your legs over his, your cheek to his shoulder and the tray over both your laps. Spencer smells like home, lavender and clean cotton and warm like he's made especially for spring time.

"You can have your coffee after, it's not recommended to have it on an empty stomach." He cuts up a crepe and tops it the way you like- with fruit syrup and whipped cream and gives you a bit before you can muster the energy to complain.

With a content sigh, you chew quietly, opening up your crossword book and tapping your pen on your lips. "What's a seven letter word for, 'devotion or tenderness.'" you ask Spencer as he hands over your mug to you.

You're so focused on the book, that you miss the way he looks at you, all the keenness and devotion bared in his eyes and the way they soften as the answer comes to him.

"Cherish," he kisses the crown of your head as you scribble, a smile on his face as you lean down and press a sticky kiss to his wrist.

#spencerreid #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x black reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x yn #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid headcanon #criminal minds x reader #dr spencer reid

[colourme-feral]

Random notes on the translation of Kare no Iru Seikatsu / Living with Him ep 3

This much is fine; Kazuhito kun is here after all.

He can do whatever he chooses to do.

He's really the most perfect of perfect. On top of that, he even took part in Koshien (notes here)

Damn/wow, he's even mentally tough. 'Perfect (this)', 'perfect (that)'. You're saying that too much

Ryo kun, are things are going well (with Kazuhito)?

But I absolutely don't want to force things. I want to prioritise how you feel.

It's not that I need an answer or anything like that. I'm just letting you know that this is just how it is for me. That's all it is.

Even though this is how I am feeling, I don't even understand it very well.

But maybe it's because we're close and all...

So (I) said (we) wouldn't *It would be closer to: I told you we wouldn't (kiss), didn't I? Note: Japanese leaves out a lot of words and favours context, as the sentence above shows

If you (Ryota) are fine with it, I don't mind things as they are Note: Japanese relies on context and leaves out subjects, so Kazuhito says そのままで, which means as things are, but it isn't specific about what exactly that is.

I wasn't planning on saying anything, but (I got) found out anyway *That was subject free 🤡🤡

Wait, before sleeping, shall we do it? What? Note: Much like in English, the verb, 'やる', which means do, can be used in an innocuous way or to suggest sex, which is why Ryota is taken aback

This type of relationship where I have nowhere to escape to; I've already told you I like you... (Kazuhito is going through things thanks to his unrequited feelings and Ryota's attempts at making Kazuhito feel better or things less awkward between them are just making it harder for Kazuhito who is unable to get away Ryota, whom he lives with, or from his feelings for Ryota.)

(... I mean,) things are hard for you too, huh... Note: Ryota says "つか", which is kind of a continuation of a thought or conversation in this case, which relates to how put together and perfect Kazuhito tries to present himself.

What is this half asleep behaviour? Note: A closer translation may be 'what are you half asleeping', which makes little sense.

Kare no Iru Seikatsu / Living with Him language notes・Other language notes

#i feel like since i'm making these translation notes. i'm paying attention more to what's happening and the words used. #truly living the no thoughts; head empty life over here lol #kare no iru seikatsu #living with him #language my love my pain

[cooking-with-hailstones]

In case you were wondering: are the campus protests even important? Do they matter? Are they making a difference?

Yes, yes. They are making a difference.

Video description: Bisan, a young Palestinian woman, is speaking directly to the camera. She is wearing a black shirt and a keffiyeh.

Video transcript (I did my best but missed a few words)

I’m 25 years old. I’ve lived my whole life in Gaza Strip. I’ve never felt hope like now. Never. I mean it’s magical feelings running in my veins right now. In my head, I’m in Gaza city, in the north of Gaza Strip rebuilding my city after this genocide has ended. Even started to dream that my friends from Yafa, Haifa (unsure), majdal, are returning to their cities after being displaced for 75 years. These young heroes in universities at America and around the world are stronger than the last occupation in history. And for the first time in our lives as Palestinians, we hear a voice louder than their voices and the sound of their bombs and even stronger than their control in all aspects of our lives. 

In the 70s, the occupation, Prime Minister said, after decades of killing Palestinians, stealing the lands, establishing the state of Israel over the lands that “the adults will die, and children will definitely forget.” 

Wait. Is that the greatest (unsure) in history? Because it’s children and youth who are leading the movement for a free Palestine. everything they have on the line to demand justice and end of the genocide, and a new era of the world, not based on oppression, exploitation or colonialism. 

Do you know what the best part is? demonstrations and calls for boycott in the academic institutions are not limited to a certain people from certain religion, culture, color, religion, race, or maybe economic level. We are all different so we can no longer be accused of anti-Semitism, serving some agendas from outside, we are just different people calling for the same thing. People to people and people to justice. 

200 days I’ve spent escaping death every single minute were not in vain. And those 40,000 innocent souls were killed during these days were not also in vain. And this is the first time to feel and tell you this. 

Keep going because you are our only hope and we promise we will hold our ground and tell you the truth always. And please, don’t let their violence scare you. In Arabic, we say (Arabic phrase). In English, that means “they don’t have other options, but trying to terrify and silence you” because you are demolishing decades of brainwashing. You are making the change. The real change. Their violence means that we’ve begun to affect them deeply. Believe me, we are in the bottom of this bottle and we’re very very close to the end of this genocide. Maybe even closer than anytime before. Thank you. Thank you for each one of you, because you made us, me and my people feel that we are free. We are heard. We’re going back to our homes, and land. 

(Through tears) I have spent the whole night thinking about every video I see, you shouting for Palestine, you protesting for Palestine, you are dancing, singing for Palestine I feel it here in my head that I am going back. And I am free, and one day, we will celebrate it in, in Gaza together. Keep going and we will too. Salaam. 

(if anyone can help with my transcript, it would be much appreciated!)

#Palestine #free palestine #wizard bisan #bisan owda #Gaza #columbia university #columbia protest #campus protests #yale university #emory university #video #described video #Instagram

[neet-elite]

↳ EVENT 04. Whitney & Sebastian (Jealousy Sex)

Pairing: Sebastian / F!Reader / M!Whitney Genre: Smut 18+ WC: 2,380 Warnings: crossover, meta, name calling, degradation, threesome, double penetration, creampie Prompt(s): 06 — jealousy sex Wanna take part in the event?: CLICK HERE!!

A/N: my first crossover post ever? tbh, a few of you have asked for crossovers! so im looking forward to trying to execute them well enough LOL... i've never done this before, so please be gentle... but thank you for the interesting challenge!! i enjoyed exploring this topic a lot MWAH!!

Laying in bed with you plus a stranger on your other side was never something he'd ever dreamed of, let alone allow to happen. But, tonight is a special case if there ever was one, a necessity, really. Possessively pinching at your cheek to bring your attention back to solely him for a second, a vain attempt to assert dominance over your free time. His nose wrinkles in judgement at the man behind you, dissatisfied with the turn of events of tonight as you writhe between two men, a burning in his heart urging him to speak before the other steals the spotlight; and perhaps even you, given how there's a whole other side to you he's yet to be privy to.

Which only really makes his words harsher, tongue spitting venom aimed mostly for the other man at your backside, sickeningly insidious in his intent given the faux sweet tone he adopts.

And yet needs must.

"Tell me, babe—" He cuts himself off with a moan, the feeling of your cunt walls wrapping around him even tighter as soon as he speaks leaves him a little breathless. Dirty words caught in his throat when your gaze meets his for just a second; enough for him to recognise how fucked silly you already are between two men, before your eyes roll prettily to the back of your head. Bit off more than you can chew, pretty? "Have you— fuck— have you made a decision yet?" He doesn't mean to sound so impatience, biting down on his tongue else he'll spill even more filth your way.

It's just that he's never felt you this tight before, though that might be due to the fact that you've got two cocks inside of you right now. The feeling of Whitney's rubbing against his own every time they pass each other in tandem strokes feels so fucking good; maybe only made better from the ego fuelled jealousy resting thick in his stomach for you. He's not stupid, and he knows you probably don't have the mental capacity to respond to him right now, but instinct begs him to at least try and steal you away. The weight of two fat cocks inside of your tiny little cunt must be difficult to deal with, right baby? Copious amounts of precum drooling from your abused little hole, squished cruelly between two hard bodies and used in such a selfish competition of pride.

"Isn't it fuckin' obvious." Whitney grunts behind you, prompting Sebastian to roll his eyes in annoyance. Or was it in pleasure of your cunt sucking his cock off so well at the sound of another mans voice? He'll never truly know, tongue poking out to wet his lips before they hang open in a soft gasp when you're rocked forward and more into his arms with how hard Whitney snaps his hips into you. The lack of care for your pretty self coming from the man behind you irks him, especially when you do very little to fight back against the rude touch tugging at your ass, pulling at your waist to hump the cock behind you. In fact, it looks like you like it, grabbing and scratching at Sebastian's front for some semblance of reality. Silly girl, you'll find no such thing here.

And in any case, what right does this guy have over you, really? Who is he to tell him what you, his long term girlfriend, prefers. At the very least, he understands that you'll be gone from his existence for various lengths of time, unable to see him due to 'real life', or whatever. But he'd never imagined you'd be visiting other men when he was waiting so patiently for you to return back to the valley. Isn't he enough for you? Didn't you say that Stardew Valley was your favourite place to be?

Upset not at the clear cut infidelity, but more so at the fact that you thought you could escape him simply by jumping from game to game. No, no; it's expected that you'd find others. Different men to cuddle up to, stranger guys who no doubt make you feel differently to how he does— but there's gotta be a similar thread running throughout your choices, right? Something consistent between himself and the brute behind you stuffing you so full of cock that even he himself feels like he's choking with every thrust. Holding on tight to your arm as you lay on your side before him, his other arm hooked under your neck to keep you safe and secure as you're mad to rock between two tips.

Him, comparable to Whitney? Now that's insulting.

Why you'd ever choose to date someone as characterised by their bullying as Whitney is is beyond him. The pretty pout you wear when Whitney grabs at your throat only stokes the fire in his tummy too, a thick layer of bile resting on top at the way he gets glared at by the other man with possession written all over his expression. And Sebastian only knows it as such because he worn the same look with you time and time again, determined to prove his worth to you now more than ever to hopefully keep you around for longer than whoever else you might be seeing. To bring you back to your favourite game again.

Deciding to ignore the honestly annoying man challenging his position by your side, Sebastian instead tries to appeal to your morals. Deceptively digging into your yearning for comfort that he knows you need more than anything else. It's why you're with him in the first place, right?

"I missed you so much." He nuzzles into you; or as much as he can given how violently you're bouncing between them, how fast he has to pick up his pace to match Whitney's unfair rhythm. It's making him a little dizzy, to be honest. Desire pooling in his tummy for you and the broken sobs his cock fucks out of you. The pathetic whines, almost babbles of something resembling begs that Whitney thrusts out of you. Pretty little overwhelmed baby, isn't this what you wanted when you had suggested a little test? Given his earlier argument with Whitney over who you preferred, wasn't it you who suggested some friendly competition? And now look at you, all sobs and shivers, a coo automatically rolling off his tongue when he nestles closer to you, his lips ghosting over your own in a yearning to claim you as his. "I'm here, 'm not going anywhere, baby." He promises you, disarmingly imploring you to reach out for him, his hands firm on your soft body for stability while he fucks his whole length in and out of your overstuffed cunt. Bet it's so sore, isn't it? Need a little help distracting yourself from every balls deep thrust he offers you, don't you? The sound of wet skin on skin causing his cock to tremble against Whitney's fat length inside of you, your lewd moans filling his ears with every hump of his tip against your most sensitive parts inside.

Inching closer, he plants his lips on yours. A sloppy mix of saliva, promising you that he'll come out victorious by the time he's done with you, imagining the sight of you limping into his arms instead of Whitney's so he can whisk you away back to the valley where you belong— except in doing so, he inevitable ends up stuttering his hips inside of you to the thought of punishing you for even insinuating that he might be a second place choice in your life. But is it even punishment if you'd be enjoying yourself, much like how you are now? Gasping into his open mouth, spilling moan after moan thanks to Whitney's pounding from behind. Fuck, he can even feel the way your body positively vibrates from enjoyment against him, rendered useless and unable to effectively kiss him back, tongue lolling out of your wanting mouth for him to suck on a lil. Just a little, because if he were to do anything more than that, then he's more than likely about to cream your cunt full, thinking it's just so fucking cute that you've been fucked truly stupid on two cocks.

"Pair of sluts—" Whitney laughs from behind, but Sebastian doesn't miss the undeniable crack in his counterparts voice. The hint of shakiness present only because you're so fucking tight and feel so fucking good that there's no room to do anything other than melt into you. Like some sort of horny amalgamation, sweat and sticky and heat, drool and other bodily fluids shared all in the name of rivalry. To try and win your utmost attention and affections, and to successfully pull you back into your preferred setting, favoured game, and most important love interest.

He knows what's at stake, and as such, removes himself from your lips to instead suckle on your neck— where Whitney might prefer bite marks and bruises, he's intent on leaving behind gentle love bites as his mark on you. His fingers slipping from your body from sweat, humping his trembling cock into you in short snap thrusts; just how he knows you like. And God he has no choice but to muffle a moan against your skin when Whitney favours longer strokes inside. Fast but deep, the feeling of rubbing his needy cock just as much against your plush insides as he is against Whitney's girth feels too good, immediately prompting him to dip his hand down intending on rubbing at your clit in sheer desperation not to be the first to cum, only to find Whitney already doing so— fuck he feels too good to argue back. Simply falling further into your soft body, cradling you from harms way despite how your body warms at the degradation, his chest tight at the way you mumble and moan. It's all a bit too much for him, sucking your neck for dear life, a silent plea to be crowned victorious with eager fucks into your overstuffed hole.

Maybe you prefer to be demeaned, right? Bullied into submission, his nails digging into any part of your pretty exposed body he can reach, fumbling around in a tangled heap of limbs as Whitney attempts to grab your attention too— though the latter seems to hold his composure better when it comes to your angel cunt. "Such a good slut, aren't you? C'mon, tell me how y'really feel."

But the slur in Whitney's words is enough to let Sebastian know that he isn't the only one close, not so much fucking you now as he is just trying to hold back for you. Muscles taut and jaw tight, gritting into the sticky feeling of your cunt, slick coating his length just as much as precum does, how the mixture drips down to his balls to stain the sheets below. To cum first would be sooo embarrassing, wouldn't it? Especially when he's doing his utmost to prove himself to you, to try and coax you back to the valley, and not whatever universe Whitney is from. It's where you belong, at the end of his leaking tip every night for him to bully into you over and over again, even if right now he can do no such thing— unlatching from your neck just to spill sweet praises for you, and to hopefully disallow you from answering Whitney's burning question. Deep down he knows you're gonna say his name anyway, or at least hopes is the case, the way your glassy eyes haze over his almost pained features, drool dripping from your tongue every time he presses his cock inside. You wear the fucked out expression so well, pretty baby getting fucked by two big cocks, is it more than you can handle?

It's okay, because from the way your body shakes under his fingertips, the tell tale tremble inside your pretty little angel cunt, how your voice almost goes missing in your silent gasps for more— he knows that you're close too. And, frustratingly, Whitney can gather about just as much also— how long have you been seeing him? "Already?" Whitney sneers, unsure of who it's more aimed at, but Sebastian hasn't the strength to fight back. Not for himself, and certainly not for you. Too lost in the way your cunt practically begs him for more, his hips instinctively fucking into you as if it were his only purpose in life. Messy and clumsy humps fill you up, almost as if he were getting fucked by Whitney alongside you, but fuck he can't help it. The weight of your body pressed tight against his own as Whitney takes a more dominating stance, effectively fastening Sebastian under you as you get mounted from behind is intoxicating, your puffy clit surely rubbing nicely against his groin from the new position and—

Well, he's got no hope of holding back when he feels your full little hole spasm around him. Orgasm washing over you as you fall into his chest, moaning directly down his ear as you wrap your arms around his neck and hold on for dear life. Sebastian too holds onto you, arms wrapped around the small of your back, pressing you down onto his cock for him to offer you merger little fucks up and into your heat. And fuck it feels so good, fat load shooting against your deepest parts, turning his cock all sticky as it gushes around inside, against Whitney's cock, and gets pushed out of your cute cunt with every extra thrust. He barely gets a chance to calm down providing Whitney's uncharacteristically kind slower pace, letting you ride out your high just enough before the brutality begins again.

"Well, what d'ya think, slut? Got a favourite yet?" Whitney seethes, clearly holding on to the last remainder of stability he's got as you wail out in hyper sensitivity.

Maybe if Sebastian holds you close to him and whispers sweet nothings down your ear to help settle you back into the unfair fucking you'll favour him. It's the least he could do, seeing as he finished first anyway. Anything to get you back to the valley, and spending time in his world again.

#500 event! #dol #stardew valley smut #sdv smut #dol smut #dol fanfic #sdv sebastian smut #sdv sebastian fanfic #whitney the bully smut #whitney the bully #i forgot other tags oopsie

[yuri-is-online]

What are your ideas on Yutu’s Unique Magic?

Maybe Riddle!Yutu having a countering UM to his father, or Cater!Yutu having one that allows him to see the true in people, etc, etc…

Also, what if Yutu has a sister/brother back in his OG timeline? Did he bring them with or they just got left behind?

for context, check these posts (1) (2) or look at the Fyuuture kid section under series on my masterlist.

oof I have a lot. Unique magic strikes me as something that is supposed to be reflective of who the mage is as a person as well as the Disney character/concept the boy is based on.  Since Yutu is not based on anyone really, we are more free with inspiration for his unique magic, with two exceptions. Idia and Kalim both have lines suggesting that their unique magics are passed down in their family's, though I imagine the incantation is different to each person; it makes sense for their Yutu's to have Gate to the Underworld and Oasis Maker respectively.

Before I really get into the weeds, I do like the idea of Yutu having (a) sibling(s) in the OG timeline, again because that can happen in Fire Emblem Awakening but also because it adds to the angst somewhat. As for whether or not he would bring them back in time, the answer to that is yes. Yutu has a few friends he traveled back in time with that are scattered around Twisted Wonderland with no way to contact each other, and if he had a sibling (with the exception of Malleus! Yutu whose sister is a bit... special) then they would be among that group. If you want some extra angst we can steal even more from FE: Awakening and make it so Yutu's sibling died before he arrived, maybe they turned into a blot monster that follows Grim's overblotted form as a replacement for his hench human.

We could even make it so Yutu's sibling doesn't have any magic, just like Yuu. You know. For the parallels ψ(｀∇´)ψ

Riddle! Yutu

Riddle! Yutu having a magic that counters his dad is such a good concept, especially for someone who initially hates him. There are two types of magic that we have seen counter Off With Your Head: Trey's Doodle Suit and a strong shielding spell used by Leona.  I can think of a few directions to take this line of thinking, so let's start with the most grounded.

A strong shielding spell, one that can be applied to multiple people, sounds like a spell that thematically fits Yutu.  We don't know a lot about how these spells function, but they're important for combat magic and shielding multiple people seems to be implied to be difficult.  Let's say in this case it's natural for Yutu and essentially the same for him as shielding himself.  This sort of spell feels like it should have a card themed name, Big Blind maybe?  It's a term that refers to the minimum bet required to continue a poker game if I understand what I read correctly. The only card game I know how to play is yugioh

The less grounded approach could be a sort of spell that creates an anti magic field… it's a concept I did toy around with mostly because I was thinking about more Alice in Wonderland themed names for a unique magic, and thought up “Everything is Nonsense” or something along those lines.  My one sort of caveat to this concept is that I think a spell like this would be heavily stigmatized, probably cause a lot of blot build up for a caster, and I'm uncertain of how it would work mechanically. Well that and I have an idea for a different Yutu who this spell would fit a bit better... but that would require me to cook with a different type of fire.

I did mention in my post about Riddle! Yutu that I liked the idea of his unique magic allowing him to shrink or grow because of Rule 42 in Alice Adventure's in Wonderland saying all people more than a mile high must be rejected from court. If Riddle is the Queen of Hearts, well then any time they argue all Yutu has to do is grow and then he won't be allowed to yell at him any more so there. As a side note do you think this logic could apply to the Chimera in the Prologue? Because I could see that being darkly funny if it comes up in game in that context.

Cater! Yutu

I had a really well thought out idea about Cater being able to see a limited amount into the future before I realized that I was describing the sharingan from Naruto so fuck me I guess.

So just hear me out, you know in twst battles you can see at least one of spells the enemy is going to use? That's sort of what I thought Yuu's unique magic would be if they had it, but I also like the idea of it being Cater! Yutu's. It would function more like an instinct than an actual vision (*clenches fist* just like naruto) but he can use his magic to tell what a person intends to do before they fully think it. Cater is skilled at divination so a unique magic that lets his kid see a little bit of the future feels like it could work for him.

Speaking of divination, I sort of also like the idea of Cater! Yutu having a magic that has something to do with stars and starlight. Maybe he can turn into a void like being made of cosmic energy, similar to how Cater's Split Card is symbolic of his many faces, Yutu's void form could be symbolic of how he feels displaced in the world.

Ace! Yutu

We don't know what Ace's unique magic is (yet) but there are a lot of theories. Time travel, something that steals another person's spell, something related to optical illusions?

I think it would be fun if Ace! Yutu could do something with reflections/mirrors. As in he can reach through mirror and attack, similar to how Hanged Man works in JoJo. The further the distance the more magic it takes, it can also work with things like water but that takes a lot more magic too.

Either that or he's able to travel between mirrors on his own without the dark mirror. That might be a much more difficult thing to do though...

Jade! Yutu

I have a very clear idea for what I wanted to do with Jade! Yutu's magic, but it's a bit complicated to explain because I'm not a physicist.

The basic idea was that Yutu is able to exert magical force on an object, so long as he knows it's exact dimensions and what it is made of. I called it "Crush the Heart" because I wanted both his and Floyd's Yutus to have magic to follow their dad's naming theme. To activate it he has to be looking at where the object should be and picture it in his mind, the more precise the crush the more concentration, control, and magic it takes.

The name could in theory be quite literal, but Yutu isn't quite there yet in his knowledge of biology or magical control.

Floyd! Yutu

Like I said, I want the twin's Yutu's to have a name that is similar to their dad's. Floyd's Bind the Heart uses Kanji that literally translates to "coiling tail"... which I guess is more similar to the magic I gave Jade! Yutu than the "gnawing teeth" that Shock the Heart does, but that magic is supposed to be something that requires calm collected control, which Floyd and his son simply do not have. Still, lets play off that and give Floyd! Yutu a magic that has something to do with shocks and teeth.

I think Floyd! Yutu should have a taunt. Floyd already loves the idea of a good fight, his son is really good at combat magic, and they both talk so much shit that the idea of that literally being his unique magic just sort of works.

Functionally the spell would work similarly to Jamil's, where the person has to look him in the eyes for it to work. The name of the spell could be something like "Reveal the Heart" but that does sound sort of stupid to me so I'm not sold on it. The spell makes a person unable to focus on anyone other than Yutu and wares off after a certain amount of time, it can fail in fashion similar to Riddle's if the enemy mage has a protection spell up.

Azul! Yutu

Another Yutu who I know exactly what I wanted to do with, I got the idea while playing Darkest Dungeon of all things. I feel like it's a bit lame though.

Azul! Yutu can create phantom limbs out of cosmic magic. When he is in octopus form those limbs take the form of human arms, and when in human form they take the form of tentacles. He says when asked that what he is doing is manipulating shadows because he likes to keep people on their toes (or fins take your pick) and he finds it very funny to watch people squirm when they realize there really is no escaping his grasp.

It is a very difficult magic to use, he needs physical strength to use those limbs because they are only as strong as his real ones, so he works out and a lot to make sure he doesn't hurt himself while using it.

Ruggie! Yutu

Laugh With Me is a perfect magic for a hyena to have, and it suits Ruggie's personality really well. Actually... I did write that his Yutu shares his laugh and I think it would be so painfully cute if that extended to his Unique Magic too. Ruggie makes a big deal about how he's kind of a crappy mage, how he has to do a lot of extra work to make up for his low mana pool and poor upbringing. Can you imagine how embarrassed, proud, and awed he would be if his son inherited his spell? That's something only great mages are supposed to have, not little guys like him. Good thing neither Yuu or Yutu care about that huh?

Vil! Yutu

I haven't done a post about Vil! Yutu really beyond this bit about him bonding with Vil, but I did mention what I think his unique magic would be.

I can't find it but I read a myth once about a painter who drew animals with a magic paintbrush that would bring them to life if he gave them two eyes, so he only ever gave them one. I thought it would be neat to have a spell like that and it feels like something that would fit Yutu Schoenheit very well. His magic allows him to create temporary familiars similar to Lilia's bats, bigger creatures take more magic and focus.

I wrote the name for this spell as "Technicolor Dream" since I thought it would be nice for the name of Yutu's magic to nod towards his father's job and his dreams about having his family back.

I have a lot more Yutu's chilling in my inbox, so I'll revisit this topic (lilia! yutu has a whole ask about his um that I really like) once we are done with round 2 of Yutu posting.

#<3 asks #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #future kid au

[whorediaries-09]

i've got some regrets

pairing- sirius black x auror!reader warning(s)- angst. a/n- let me know if ya'll like this chapter :)

little train. series masterlist.

sirius could remember the day clearly. his mind envisioned it like a movie playing on a roll. the hatred quenched him, as a growing lump of spite nurtured into his throat. when death caught up with the ones he loved, he'd been thrown into a dark seclusion, kept with his own thoughts that drove him into the edge of insanity.

after five years, he had been lit up with a timid flame of hope of freedom. he walked barefoot hidden within his tattered clothes. his face was concealed with his long, matted, untamed hair and his overgrown beard. the lights of the room blind him, unaccustomed to such light.

he walks towards the light trying to break free. but his fierce soul has been tied down by heavy metal chains he drags along. he lifts up his head high, staring at the crinkled faces of the wizengamot. among them, his eyes land on albus dumbledore - his mentor and tutor, the betrayer. his blood boils as he walks towards the chair he's assigned.

invisible strings conjure from thin air, wrapping around his thin body, tying him down to the metal chair. his bony back hits the metal, and a sharp pain excruciates within him. he stares around the room, looking for cornelius fudge. he observes everyone slowly, trying to read through the people. that is until he's distracted by the sound of rubbing shoes against polished tiles.

you walk into the room, and suddenly you're the center of attention. every eye is on your form as your cloak flows with your graceful walk. there are hidden whispers and soft murmurs, that reach your eyes, but that doesn't blur your confidence. you're strengthened by the gazes that follow your footsteps.

the attention doesn't behead your feeling of joy, instead it fuels the fire within you. you catch sirius gazing at you, and you maintain the eye contact with a small smile on your face. walking towards him, you execute out your wand, ripping apart the ties around him with a simple spell. the wizengamot collectively gasps.

'your hand, mr. black,' you say. sirius stares at you with the same cold gaze the first time he'd talked to you. but there's a lace of scrutiny within his eyes that had been absent the last time. he'd been ignorant your voice and you, staring at you. but now, it seems along with a timid flame of hope has lit up a flame of curiosity. he gives you his hand. its dirty, calloused and rough. you hold it with a sheer aura of authority, and look sharply into his eyes. he speaks, low and soft.

'do you vow to give me the freedom i deserve?' he asks, finding his heart thump against his rib.

'yes,' you say.

'do you vow to give me the lawful justice as an unjustified verdict?' he says. he wanders his eyes around the room, catching the ice blue hue of dumbledore's eyes.

'yes,'

'do you vow to not betray me?' he asks, biting his teeth with pure rage. the pressure on your hand increases but you don't flinch. nodding your head, you reply,

'yes.'

*-

cornelius sits on the high chair, skimming through pages on his desk. he watches sirius' unbound hands through his glasses. uncomfortable and visibly shaky underneath the confident gaze thrown by the latter, he looks back onto the sheets.

'so, alastor moody's lovely recruited auror has decided to take upon mr. black's closed case.' he announces. his eyes shift to you. you provide him with a sickly sweet grin.

'i'm my own person, mr. fudge. i'm not alastor moody's lovely recruit.' you say. he coughs up your name, scrunching his eyebrows.

'okay, so may i ask why? any personal attachment with mr. black.'

'no,' you say simply, 'i became an auror to fight against injustice. sirius black's case is the most infamous one. yet it's so...incomplete. no trial.' your eyes shift to dumbledore.

'it seems,' you click your tongue, 'injustice is not a very uncommon affair within the ministry. a trial for sirius black wasn't even filed. i'm wonderstruck, because mr. black showed loyalty to the order nobody else did.'

'now i'm forced to believe he'd been put behind because of his... past, the ties to his family name. but that still doesn't add up, considering his very lovely cousin bellatrix got a trial in her name. the stakes of you-know-who were high at the time. and every case i've analyzed was put under a proper trial, since dark magic knows no end. i believe, mr. fudge, it was pure hypocrisy on the ministry's part.'

you twist the end of your sleeve, waiting for a response. fudge babbles his head, sliding his glasses up to the bridge of his nose.

'there was no need to. sirius black was made the secret keeper and that was not a rumor!' he says.

'that, is where the ministry went wrong. dark magic knew no bounds at those times!' you say. while the anger bubbles inside you, you stay calm and serene, not wanting more headlines and gossip by rita skeeter printed on the daily prophet.

'fine then. but i must warn you you're getting too ahead with your authority. just because you were positioned to be an auror earlier than others doesn't mean-'

'mr. fudge i have proved myself mentally and physically capable of being an auror, have i not? maybe let's not discuss my abilities and waste time. time is money after all.' he closes his mouth, his thin lips disappearing within the folds of his loose skin. he scratches his eyebrow.

'so, what evidence have you got to defend ... mr black?' sirius stares at him intensely. with every word that the minister spills from his filthy lips, it infuriates him to the core. but as soon as you serenely defend your values, he gains a feeling of satisfaction. somehow your calmness fuels his fire of hope. somehow your presence calms his rotting nerves.

'we don't have any eye witnesses. the muggles' memory had been wiped off by the officials, as per the record. now, the only evidence is his own words. and-'

'that's bonkers! don't you think he would lie?' cornelius interrupts. staring piercely into his eyes, you whisper.

'maybe that's why we have something called veritaserum. maybe if justice for a wrongly convicted verdict would've been of importance to this rigged system, mr. fudge, you would've had your brain functioning properly.'

'so, that's your evidence?'

'yes. the wizengamot acts as witness to what he says. then we give him veritaserum, and we see if we says the truth or not.' you walk towards him, retrieving a bottle of potion from the folds of your cloak.

'here's the veritaserum that i've prepared. alastor moody has checked upon it, for any faults and in the papers have been put on your table. there's no sign of any mishaps.' fudge gathers the papers, coughing a confirmation.

'fine. mr. black, proceed, with your part of the story.' the wizengamot stares at him. sirius feels confidence rush back into his body as you touch him, squeezing his shoulder, encouraging you. you bend down, tucking a stray piece of matted hair behind his ear.

'don't be heated. you'll beat the charge if you beat the heat.'

the hurricane screams his name, washing away the deathless death that had captured him into a quiet treason.

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original idea posted by - @lilwnet

taglist - @reggieisfit @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @jamespottergf @eternallybipanicking @fictional-magic @iamgayforyourmom1510

(if you want to be tagged please send a request through my inbox.)

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#harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #marauders #sirius black #sirius x reader #sirius black smut #the marauders #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #marauders era #sirius black thoughts #sirius black x oc #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fanart #sirius being sirius #sirius black fluff #sirius black angst #fanfiction #james & peter & remus & sirius

[denydefeat]

Most of this will be under a cut because it's long so strap in if you want to know what's happening here moving forward:

The muse list and rules are both being rewritten. Some muses are being dropped, some are being added, and the rules are having minimal changes, but things are still changing.

90% of drafts and memes will be dropped. I am going to strap in to writing today, and whatever is not posted or queued today will be dropped. I need a fresh, or at least semi-fresh, start to get things going again.

I will not do starter calls moving forward, unless they are one-liners, but I will continue to try and post open starters. I know that I have posted starter calls that have received plenty of traffic and then never posted starters - I am often just unable to think of something on the spot, so this will help me moving forward not promise things that I cannot deliver on. I apologize for this being a pattern in the past.

Memes will be replied (or queued) the same day they are posted, in order to keep up and not fall so drastically behind again. If they are not replied/queued that day, they will be deleted from the inbox. I am going to empty the inbox at least once a week, if not daily.

There is a chance that, later today, I do decide on an entirely fresh start, in which I will make a second announcement and launch a new blog. If that is the case, I will always greatly reduce my following list, because I do follow simply too many people that have shown absolutely zero interest in every writing with me. In that case, the same things as above will apply - I will reply to things as they come in when I am able more often, rather than hoarding things and trying to binge-reply.

If you read this much, thank you. I know my activity has been grossly sporadic lately. I won't go into the nitty gritty of how terrible my life has been (despite my appearance on this and other social media platforms, where I put up a surprisingly good front), but it has been absolutely fucking miserable. I miss writing as an outlet and a fun hobby, and whenever I was signing on here to write and have fun, the 300+ things between the inbox and drafts got me incredibly overwhelmed to the point of just shutting my laptop and crying honestly. This isn't something that should cause that kind of reaction, and so I've spent some time ruminating on everything for the past couple of weeks, trying to come up with a solution that doesn't totally fuck over my RP partners, who have been endlessly patient with me, or cause me to have a panic attack over a hobby. If you are interested in what is being kept, please feel free to ask me later this afternoon, and I will let you know what is queued/ready to post. <3

#ooc / a whole ass yikes #to be deleted / trash #[ in other news - my friend and i got matching twilight tattoos yesterday so that was fun ]

[angiemaniac]

To anyone who followed for my Elder Scrolls content

I wanna make an announcement just in case you’re lingering here. I’ve been doodling for the fandom less and less, so I will not be focusing as much on that type of content as much. Maybe I’ll post occasionally in it. Yet not as often. However, I will still be lurking, liking, and interacting with all the artists I follow because I still love TES.

Prior to this I did make a post that one day I wanted to make merch for Morrowind, but my current situation and my focuses have shifted to Baldur’s Gate 3. So I apologize in advanced. Should I come back to eventually make said merch or anything related, I will let everyone know!

If those following me only subbed for TES, you can feel free to unfollow if BG3 isn’t your cup of tea. I’ll be seeing ya guys : )

#angie speaks #op speaks #genuinely am sorry for lack of TES #I love the content and fandom on tumblr but also I’ve shifted my focused #I’ll be lurking and reblogging still and interacting when I can

[idontplaytrack]

Distress

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader

Warnings: hospital setting, descriptions of labour & delivery with complications, vomiting, blood & bodily fluid mentions

In which, Janis’ life ends up in your hands. So does your baby’s — and you had to make a decision that would be life altering either way

It’s crazy how fast life could change. And how drastically it could change — all because of one thing.

“y/n, you have to choose. Quick.” The doctor urged you. You felt the blood draining from your face as tears poured from your eyes. You were all alone with a lifeless Janis on the operating table, surrounded by people- doctors and nurses but the most alone and helpless you’ve ever been. You wanted so bad to fall on the ground and cry, but you tried to stay strong. Though you weren’t sure what it was for at this point. You didn’t know what to do.

Once Janis was confirmed to be in labour, you came into the hospital with her to meet her team for the occasion. You got her checked in then she was swiftly brought into her room that was picked out in advance. The nurses on shift got her changed into an open-back gown — which she hated, and got an IV plug set. She hated the latter even more. And of course, a fetal monitor. “All done, mama.” The nurse smiled sympathetically, “You’re all set. Just try and rest and we’ll be by every hour to check on you. If you need anything, call button is on the remote on either side of your head on the bed rails.

“Okay, thanks.” Janis replied simply.

Once the nurse had left, Janis asks, “Did you tell them yet?” “I did. I texted the group. Cady said she and Regina will come by soon, after they have breakfast. The rest of them are probably still asleep-” Your phone buzzes, “It’s Damian. He is…on his way.”

Janis chuckles, “He’s actually coming here?”

“Yeah, that’s what he said.” You showed her your phone screen briefly.

“Damn.”

You put your phone away, “How are you feeling so far?”

“It’s not bad, maybe I just have high pain tolerance.” Janis assured, “I’m okay.” You press a kiss to her forehead, squeezing her free hand. Her contractions were regular, but not causing her much pain yet. It was true, Janis had way higher pain tolerance than you did.

“You wanna get back to sleep, babe?”

She nodded, laying on her left side then drifted off to sleep while you stayed up keeping an eye on her and your phone in case any of your friends texted. Friends, yes. Family, no. Your parents didn’t like Janis and her parents did not like you. They’ve been against your relationship from the beginning but Janis didn’t give a shit.

Periodically, Janis would make little pained noises in her sleep, alerting you that she was having a contraction. Not once did she wake up, until someone came in to check on her progress. Boy, did she hate that. She showed it and the doctor definitely already knew. Once the doctor leaves, Damian showed up. “Hi, honey.” He greeted.

“Hi.” Janis forced a smile, laying back down.

“How you feelin’?”

“Uncomfortable. Especially with the doctor just shoving her fingers in to check me. What an invasion.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m sure they need to do that.” He cringed, “How are you doing?” He casts his glance you. “I’m…okay. Nervous? But fine.”

“Okay, do you want anything to eat, drink?” He continues.

“No, I’m okay I can’t even think about eating right now.” You declined. The three of you chatted for awhile, then Janis just suddenly got silent- her eyes screwed shut and she reached for your hand. You let her squeeze it to divert the pain, “You’re okay, baby. Breathe through it. You know what to do.”

Janis was handling it like a champ.

————

An hour later, Cady and Regina arrived. “We’re here.” Regina says, “How are things going?”

“So far, everything’s perfect.” You told the pair, “Progressing as expected.”

Janis has gotten quieter, now that the pain’s picked up in intensity somewhat. “Jan? You alright?”

She nodded, looking away from you. You hear her exhaling harshly. “Okay. You want some more ice chips?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” You told her, grabbing the paper cup off the table. You left Janis alone with the three of them for a minute or so while you went a little bit down the hall to get what she wanted. Actually, all she was allowed right now. “Here you go, babe.” You stood before, holding the cup up to her lips with a spoonful of the crushed ice. She opened up her mouth and accepted it.

“y/n?” Regina asks, breaking the silence, “Have you not eaten anything today? Your stomach just growled.”

“I don’t—”

“You need to eat.” Janis’s eyes flicked up to look at you.

“She’s right.” Cady chimed in, “I’m about to go down to the cafeteria anyway. I’ll grab you something too. Please eat. We can’t afford having you pass out today.” You reluctantly agreed while you fed your wife another spoonful of the ice.

“Fuck.” She mutters under her breath, you quickly put the cup down and held onto her, rubbing her back as she leaned onto you. Regina and Cady leaves after having asked you what you wanted to eat, after Janis’ contraction ended. “Whatever’s fine.” You told them.

“Okay, then.” Regina shrugs, leaving with Cady. As if on cue, a nurse returns to check on Janis. “You’re at a three.”

“Still?” Janis asked.

“It’s your first baby so it usually could take longer.”

“I can walk right? That’ll help?”

“Yes, dear.” The nurse answered, “You’re doing fine, don’t worry.”

“Thanks, Melanie.” You said to the nurse as she was leaving. She gives you a smile. You helped Janis stand up and walk around the room— but not before putting on a pair of non-slip socks.

You put an arm around her and kept her steady while she walked. Damian was paying pretty close attention just in case Janis got a pain that was too bad and you couldn’t hold her whole weight. The two of you took a few laps around the room before she decided she’s had enough for now. Regina returns and handed you a ham and cheese sandwich and a cup of tea, “Eat up. Cady’s in the bathroom.” “Thanks.” You took the food from the blonde and glanced at Janis in the meantime to make sure she was settled. “Babe, I’m okay. I’m just gonna take another nap before the pain keeps me awake.” Damian waits for her to be laying down comfortably before pulling her blanket up. “I’m so proud of you.”

Janis smiled at him, “Thanks, dude.” And with that, her eyes were closed again.

Regina started a conversation awhile later after deeming Janis deeply asleep enough to not get woken up too easily. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

“I haven’t slept in what, 4 hours and we only got five hours of sleep last night before her contractions started.” You told her, “I guess it’s just been hard for me to witness all of this— as relieved as I have been that her pregnancy has went by smoothly and is considered low risk.”

“Because of—”

You nodded knowingly, “My miscarriage, yeah. I tried my best to protect her, keep her healthy and safe. Today’s finally the day and I just want it to go well.” Unexpectedly, the usually unaffectionate blonde squeezed your hand. “She’s doing great.” Regina looks at Janis’ sleeping figure, “Look at that monitor- she’s having contractions but not making a sound? What a badass.”

A small sigh escapes your lips, “Thanks, G.” You resumed eating, Cady walks back inside quietly.

————

“I have a shift soon, so I’ll get going. Any of you, please keep me updated. I will be back later, okay?” Damian requested quietly seeing that you were now napping as well.

“Sure, Damian.” Cady promised.

“Thanks, y’all. See you guys later.”

You woke up from your short nap and it was currently hour five. At the last check, Janis had progressed from three to four centimetres. “No one came in to check her yet right?”

“No, but soon, judging by the time.” Cady assured.

Once the nurse walked in to check on Janis, she pretty much got startled awake. By the pain. Seeing that look on her face, you were instantly flustered. “Something’s not right.” You and your friends froze, you felt yourself getting lightheaded but you forced yourself to stay standing.

Melanie hurriedly checked what was going on. “I’m gonna call for her doctor now. We need to do a an emergency c-section and the baby’s heart rate is dropping. She’s haemorrhaging. y/n, I’m sorry, you and your friends are going to have to leave the room.”

No, you couldn’t leave her. Not right now. Janis was wailing in pain, the worst you’ve seen her all day. All pregnancy. She was crying for you, but she knew you weren’t going to be here. You couldn’t be.

“y/n, please. Leave now. Her team’s coming in right now to intervene.” Melanie started shoving you out of the room. Regina looked her displeased but quickly led you outside. You could hear and see Janis screaming and crying through the blinds. Until a minute later her team of doctors arrived and shut the blinds, but not before you caught a look of the pool of her own blood beneath her.

“Oh, my fucking god.” You collapsed, heart shattered and crying in Regina’s arms. She caught you, making sure you didn’t hurt your head. For once in her life, the blonde didn’t have a clue what to say. You felt another pair pf arms around you- Cady was also hugging you. But none of that helped- you wanted Janis to be okay. You couldn’t believe what you just had to witness.

“Sit down, baby. Sit down.” Regina persuaded. You could barely hear her, tears falling without an end. You heard the commotion of them rushing Janis into the operating theatre and you couldn’t bear to look. Regina shielded your eyes from the sight, but they could definitely see it. You hear Cady gasp- she didn’t mean it. But you cried harder. “She’s a fighter, y/n.” Cady told you, “She’ll be okay.”

“You don’t know that.” You cried.

“She has a lot to live for, she will fight for them.” Regina agrees with the redhead. You blinked furiously, trying to stop the tears but they only kept falling.

Somehow, the whole gang appeared before you. You didn’t even know who told them but they were all here to keep you company. To hope and pray that Janis got through this. To make sure that the baby would be okay. As much as you appreciated them, you couldn’t express it. Your mind kept flashing with images of Janis in distress. It haunted you. No one dared to stop you from crying— you needed some form of release but they were also equally worried about what would come for you after such intense crying. With your head in your hands, your mind wanders to a particular conversation you had with Janis sometime during her pregnancy.

“If it ever comes to this…the doctor asks you if they should save the baby or me. Save me. We can always try again for a baby, one way or another.“

You sniffled, sitting up straight as you got into a coughing fit. Aaron quickly offered you a bottle of water from his bag. You declined wordlessly, right as a nurse rushed out asking for you. “Mrs. ‘Imi’ike, come with me now.”

The blood. The damn blood. Your stomach churned. But you took a breath and quickly followed her. “We’ve no choice but to ask, should we save your wife or the baby?” She asked while running. You ran with her, through the double doors and into the freezing operating theatre.

“We’re trying to save both of them right now, but in the worst case scenario, y/n, you have to choose. Quick. Right now.”

Seeing the team covered in her blood, seeing Janis unconscious. It shook you to the core, but you had to say it. You had to make the choice.

“Wife. Save my wife- I don’t care what it takes. You save my wife. I am not leaving without her.”

————

You don’t remember much from that point on. It was as though you’d blacked out. You didn’t even know how you got back out, but you were sitting in the plastic chair shivering. Gretchen. She drapes a jacket over you. You weren’t sure if it was her, but you heard her voice while you felt the fabric on your shoulders.

“y/n, look at me.” You hear Regina next. Your body just didn’t respond to that, but your mind becomes hyper-focused on the sickening feeling. You stood up but quickly fell back in the seat. Your legs didn’t work. Cady caught you this time- you hear her talking right by your ear as your head spun and spun. Your vision started to blur, your mouth watered feeling the bile rising in your throat.

You bent over and threw your whole breakfast up and then some. It does nothing but make you cry even harder, like that was even possible. They have never seen you like this…so vulnerable. You were always the life of the party. You always were optimistic, even through your own miscarriage. But this was a big fucking blow.

“They made me choose.” You sniffled, looking at no one in particular, “They made me choose—”

Aaron went to get a janitor to clean up the floor. “y/n, what—” Cady began asking. “Janis and the baby.” You swallowed, hard, your back falling against the backrest of the chair. Karen hands you a tissue, you wiped your mouth off hastily and she took another tissue to remove the used tissue from your hand. “They made me choose— and I —”

Regina holds you in her arms again, almost on reflex, letting you get whatever you wanted to say, out. “Janis told me before— to save her. And I did— but I still— oh, my God. What if she blames herself for the baby— G, I—”

“Sweetie, Janis knows what she wants and she’s always clear. You did what she would’ve wanted. You can always try again, but you only get one Janis.”

You only get one Janis.

————

The next hour or so— you weren’t certain, was like a never ending wait and nightmare. Your head rested on Cady’s shoulder as you tried not to give in to fatigue. Your head was starting to pound, you were so thirsty and your stomach ached from the inevitable hunger. But all you could think about was your wife.

The eerie sound of the double doors opening rang through your ears. You stood up right as her doctor approached you— free of her blood-stained attire. “Mrs. ‘Imi’ike, your wife is fine. But unfortunately, we had to let go of your baby. I’m very sorry for your loss, but your wife pulled through. She’s strong, a fighter.”

“Janis is okay?” You asked in disbelief.

“She received a blood transfusion for the blood loss thanks to one of your friends.” The doctor confirms, “She will make a full recovery.”

“Oh. Oh, my God. Thank you.” You hugged the doctor.

“It’s my job, dear.” She hugs you back briefly then broke away. “They’re just making sure she’s all settled then she’ll be moved to a ward. High-dependency for 72-hours just to be safe.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Take care.” With that, the doctor departs. You began searching for the said friend who apparently slipped away from the chaos to help Janis.

“Who was the one—”

“Regina’s also O-negative so she went ahead and just gave her blood.” Gretchen answered your question.

“What…?”

Regina did? This was the most selfless thing she’s ever done for anyone.

“Shit, I couldn’t even help—”

“y/n, please. Anyone would help- no questions asked. You can’t choose your blood type. That’s- that’s not how it works. Regina didn’t even hesitate.”

“You helped the most, y/n. You went with her wishes. You gave her a second chance at life.” Aaron chimed in.

Second chance at life…you did do that.

“Fuck, I don’t know what I would do without you g—” You looked at each and every one of them, seeing Regina walking out from a room with a bandaid on her arm. You ran over to her and just tackled her in a hug, “Regina, thank you.” You sobbed, “Thank you for doing that.”

“I did what I had to do.” She rubs your back, “Don’t need to thank me.”

Later on, you were all informed of where Janis was sent to. They only allowed immediate family to enter, meaning only you in this current situation. But they all walked up with you, and you were so confused when you got there because her parents were inside. Already. They were exiting so they saw you, and they looked like they wanted to kill you. Maybe not literally, but their words sure hurt.

“She would have been fine if it weren’t for you.” Her mother spat. Given your current state, that was all it took to make you cry again. Regina’s grip on your shoulders tightened. “The doctors say Janis is okay.” Her father told her mother.

“Not for sure, she isn’t.”

Regina was even angrier at this point, witnessing the hell you’d just been through. “She’s the reason your daughter’s even lying right there now.” Regina spoke up, “Nothing gives you the right to talk to her like that. She saved our friend, her wife, your daughter. If anything, you should be thanking her. You weren’t here for Janis- y/n was here through all of it. You have no idea what she’s been through today. You have no clue what she’s had to see, to hear for the whole pregnancy, you have no clue what she herself has been through so don’t you dare start this shit with me. Now move, it’s her turn.”

You quietly made your way past her parents and entered the hospital room. The pungent smell of antiseptic hit your nose. You cringe, eyes screwing shut for a second before you proceeded to sit in the creaky plastic chair.

“Hi, my love.” You greeted her tearfully, carefully picking up her fragile hand. “I’m very sorry for the choice I had to make for you, I could only save one of you and I know you asked me to but I’m so sorry. Please don’t blame yourself for it, please don’t do that. Like you said, we can always try again. But it was worth it because you’re still here with me. You’re still going to be here with me - we’ll continue to go through life together and nothing mattered more to me than making sure you were okay and didn’t suffer for more than you had to.”

You pressed a tender kiss to her hand then let it go to brush the hair out of her face, “Thank you for being so strong and fighting for yourself. I love you so very much, Janis.”

#auli’i cravalho #janis ‘imi’ike #janis 'imi'ke x fem reader #mean girls 2024 #wlw #queer #lesbian #fluff #angst #pregnancy fic #fanfic #wlw fanfic

[stellas-starry-stove13]

♥︎ • “In the dark or light, I'm right here.”• ♥︎ Akito and Rui x fem! reader (separate)

Dishes: Pancake and Soda candy

Drink: Strawberry sundae (dating)

Cuisine: Oneshot

Ingredients: Milk chocolate(?) (hurt/comfort) (not really)

Customer: @kanasakiis

Notifing: @akitosheart, a pancake has been made!

C/N: Um... Yes char just let her go into the dark by herself but it doesn't last very long... I feel I did something wrong but I tried my best and of course had to give a 'happy' ending so.. Here you go. Thanks for ordering once more though <3 oh, also they might be a bit short sorry, Im trying not to pressure myself like how i used to write, like how i nerfed from posting everyday to every other day

“Well, I think it's about time for you to go. My dad doesn't like when we have friends over after 9:00. I need to get some things done anyway.”

“Oh, okay.”

I watch her gaze out the window and into the starry night sky, before standing up from my desk chair.

“I'll walk you out.”

I state before walking beside the girl and sliping my hand into hers despite knowing it'll stay there for a minute only.

“See ya tomorrow.”

I say with a small smile as my lips drift to her own for a goodbye kiss.

“Bye...”

After a short amount of time, I head back into my bedroom, unbeknownst to me that my girlfriend is currently trembling in the dark without me by her side. I shift my hand to the doorknob before deciding against it after the sound of light knocking rings through my ears.

Did she forget something?

“Huh?”

“U-Um... Actually c-can you walk me home?”

I immediately notice the slight fear in her voice and body language and am unable to decline her request as concern for the girl forms on my face.

“Uh, sure.”

Stepping outside, I'm immediately met with the cool night air hugging my face.

“Are you okay?”

I ask, concerned for her, though trying not to show it.

“I'm sorry.... I just didn't want to walk home by myself in the dark.”

It takes me a moment to process those words, but after I do, a frown envelopes my face.

“Oh... Are you scared of the dark?”

“.....”

Silence finds its way into the atmosphere before I see slight nod from Y/N.

I sigh and grip her hand warmly, looking at her with a scolding expression as I lead her into the direction of her house.

“Just tell me that next time.”

“Sorry....”

Another sigh escapes my mouth as I shake my head once.

“You know.... In the dark or light, I'm right here.”

“Enjoyed the show?”

I ask, a cat grin slipping onto my lips as I stand in front of the girl, awaiting an answer.

She nods in satisfaction, causing me to let out a low hum before speaking once more.

“Well, I'm going to go help clean up. Feel free to help us, but I understand if you have to go home.”

“Yeah, I should probably go home now..”

“Alright. Goodnight, sweet pea.”

I pat her head lightly as my lips make contact with her forehead, a small and friendly smile crossed on them.

“Bye.”

I hum to myself again after watching Y/N walk away, my focus fixated on the task at hand. My face becomes more serious and focused though as I open up RoboNene's back, planning on making a small upgrade to the robot.

Only three minutes later, I glance by the lamp posts and see the familiar girl leaning against the post, as if waiting patiently for someone.

“Hm?”

With curiosity bouncing inside of me, I approach Y/N to ask of her actions.

“Y/N? I thought you were going home.”

“Oh, uh... I'll just wait instead, actually.”

“May I ask why?”

My eyes catch the slight parting of her lips before they watch it stick back together again.

“Um... Well I didn't really want to go alone... In the night.. In the dark...”

I remain silent, not expecting such an answer from her before nodding my head.

“I see. In that case, would you want me to walk you back right now? I'm sure the others don't mind cleaning up by themselves.”

“Oh, uh.. are you sure?”

“Of course.”

Without remedy, I take hold of her hand and lead her towards the exit of the bustling theme park.

I hum in silence as the cool night breeze envelops my face, leaving me with a warm smile.

“You know, you don't strike me as one who would be afraid of the dark.”

“? How did you..”

I chuckle at her cute look of surprise and pat her head with a smug grin.

“Never underestimate a director's observation.”

“....”

I watch her avert her gaze from my own, seemingly embarrassed.

“Don't be embarrassed, sweet pea. Everyone has their fears. Besides..”

I tilt her chin towards me.

“Wether in the dark or light, I'm right here.”

#project sekai x reader #project sekai #akito shinonome #shinonome akito #akito x reader #shininome akito x reader #akito shinonome x reader #rui kamishiro x reader #kamishiro rui x reader #rui kamishiro #rui x reader #kamishiro rui #♦︎ ~your dish has been served~ ♦︎

[draculas-husband]

Alright but now I am super tempted to write a thing for this haha.

But before I do I want to point out that I am well aware that both Emmanellain and Artoirel could both use a slice of humble pie. These rich kids could definitely stand to be a bit more like their father or brother. And while they both change for the better, especially after we show them how to be better. Proving to them that their illegitimate brother has got the right idea.

I'd like to think that Edmont has been doing his damndest already but that their mother's influence and death strained their relationship with him too much. Which is why I think real change could only happen once we show up. This is of course just my reading of the situation.

Considering everything we know, there is a ton pointing to Edmont's marriage having been arranged. And I'd argue that Haurchefants existence alone shows how unhappy he must've been in said marriage. So even if he didn't truly love her, it would not mean that his sons didn't as well. And I can imagine that they were all rather miserable.

So the fact that Emmanellain is so bad at flirting and figuring out how relationships work makes so much sense to me. Because as far as we know, he has no proper point of reference.

I'd also like to think that Edmont feels like he may finally do right by Haurchefant by doing what he does for us. And as sad as this is to say… I think what truly makes a difference is Haurchefant's death. Because it is that event that sets the real change in motion.

So at least in my version of it all Drac definitely tries to unravel the mess they've made. He offers to lend an ear and a perspective on things. Some great hugs too. Once Drac and Edmont get together and can be public and open about it, Emmanellain gets a golden opportunity to learn how a healthy relationship should look and work. At the core of it all, these strapping young lads* are not bad people. They just need some help figuring out how to be good people…

But that is just my perspective on things and I am not even gonna try to pretend that everyone agrees with me. And that's OK. ☺️

*(yes I am using that phrase because Edmont called Gigi one and it was cute)

(Tagging you both bc I can haha @siegeliege @elizabethrobertajones 💖 I always love your comments!!)

#heavensward spoilers #Ffxiv #Long post #I just have a lot of thoughts and feelings about them #There could def be things I have missed #Feel free to let me know if that is the case #But yes Drac 100% would teach Emmanellain how to properly flirt #And how to respect a gosh darn rejection #Like buddy... #Pal... #My guy... Nooo #count on count romance #emmanellain de fortemps #artoirel de fortemps #count edmont de fortemps #Hope I am not too annoying by tagging you guys #Richard's rambles

[keymintt]

a lil gift for @confusedlucifer of their ocs bastien and wolfgang!!

#art #drawing #for others #my art #gift art #jane's art and ocs are rad and also fun to draw hehe >:3 #posting gift art rarely crosses my mind nowadays so if i drew smthin for you and you want me to post it pls let me know and i will #or if i never posted a comm pls feel free to poke me abt that too and i can post it too #it's not a problem for me to post things at all i just. forget. or in the case with stuff for my ocs i'll stockpile things for a big post

[kentopedia]

after some thinking, i’m going to put a pause on all my jjk wips & work on some other things <3

#thanks for all ur kindness btw #& i’m sorry if you just follow me for jjk :( #i think this is the best thing for me to do regarding my feelings around the fandom & the only way i can truly put some distance between it #which this doesn’t mean i’ll stop writing for it forever <33 just for at least a couple weeks !! #i’m sorry this probably seems really silly and dramatic but #i just havent been happy on tumblr :( #& i won’t change my url or theme or anything !!! just loving kento from a distance lol #love u all so very much !!!! #and i just wanted to let you know in case you think i’m dropping kento forever (im not) or you’re waiting on something #but also feel free to unfollow if you don’t want to see my other work lol #i’ll also probably not consume much content of it either very sorry to my jjk mooties :(((

[carnival-of-vanity]

Well it has been a over a month, but I wasn't on tumblr then, so here we go.

My first "fan art" for good omens if you want to put it like this and the thing that pushed me over the edge into this rabbit hole really. At the end of last year @sendaryas "Good Omens Got True Talents" event inspired me to write (and actually finish) a little song; a sad little thought experiment what our dear demon might be feeling & thinking after his angel left for heaven.

(song written and performed by me; illustration in the video made with watercolors also by me)

#good omens #good omens fanart #crowley #music #good omens season 2 #original song #sad sad music #in case you wanted to cry today #my way to cope with that ending I guess #on the off chance somebody wants to make a fan edit or the like with this - feel free to do so; just credit/tag/let me know pls #Youtube

[st4rrych111]

im not sure if this has been said on tumblr before but it actually fucks me up so badly the way anakin and obi wan both interpret their relationship so differently. here is my ramble of the night apologies in advance !

in attack of the clones, anakin says TO OBI WANS FACE that he is the closest he has to a father. it is such an earnestly raw passing comment to a dry comment obi wan makes but it says so much. little boy born out of virginity, no father in his life, being swept of to coruscant by qui gon whos dead before they can even leave. growing up under obi wans shaky guiding hands and even sleeping at the foot of his bed, still reeling from the loss of his only family. but

obi wan was only a padawan when he was entrusted with this little boy. the chosen one. a final request from his dying master no less and hes terrified and doesnt feel ready but he does it anyways. he worries about the most insignificant, fatherly things a man could- can anakin swim? he is protective and almost resents the way the council refuses to hear qui gons point of view, ignoring anakins feats in the force and status of the chosen one. obi wan KNOWS their relationship always pushed the master-student dynamic into something more familial, but he doesn't stop it. he tries so hard to help balance the duty of the order and anakins personal feelings, he even says so to padme in a deleted revenge of the sith scene, that he had ignored their marriage for the sake of anakins happiness. he wouldve done anything to fill that aching void in anakins chest that called out for a parent, but he was torn between what he was taught, what he felt about himself and what he felt was appropriate. and still,

obi wan only ever calls him his padawan, his brother, his anakin. he still felt like a kid when anakin was assigned. but then anakin gets older! hes a young man now and finds obiwans odd-brotherly-fatherly gaze too harsh. anakin is ready to turn away, to stop clawing for obi wans attention, his attachment the way he once did, wanting a different kind of approval, approval that will tell him hes ready to be a knight, a master, the best of the best. so obi wan tries resolving with a more brotherly relationship. closer to equals, although not quite which still upsets anakin

in a sense, all of this comes to the front in revenge of the sith. "you were my brother anakin, i loved you." at that time, anakin was his brother. anakin's yearning for a father had been quenched by palpatines manipulative affection. and now, obi wan was only the man that lead him, the man that kept him in the order. obi wan did love him, but it did not fulfil all of what anakin needed.

to obi wan, anakin is his brother. his little brotherly student.

to anakin, obi wan is his father. perhaps even his everything at one point. then he is his brother, and they grow slightly distant. when obi wan is anakins brother, his father is palpatine. and then to anakin, obi wan is his enemy.

#star wars #obi wan #anakin skywalker #they make me so so sad #puhLEASE dont tag as ship i will froth at the mouth #st4rry speaks #theyve been analysed so well alr bc cool well spoken ppl on tumblr like the pt so here is my 2 cents just in case anyone needed /sar/pos #its deffo been said before but just incase u guys didnt know they make me miserable and consume my every passing thought <3 #feel free to add on i love shared fan culture let me hear it :3