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miniwheat77 · 7 months

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Forget about him. (Captain Price x Reader.)

!CW! NSFW, Smut, virgin!reader, virginity loss, cheating, p in v sex, protected sex, get a glass of water, (sorry if I missed any.)

That hotel room service song by pitbull may have had a bit of influence on me. Good luck. Not edited!

You noticed the stares you gave each other the very day you walked off of the helicopter onto the base.

You were Laswell’s niece, and maybe that’s what drew him to you. Every time he looked at you, he seemed to have this dark look in his eyes and you always made eye contact. It seemed as if he was always looking at you. And it was true, he was.

You know what you feel is wrong.

These feelings that you have for your Captain, they’re not normal. Not when you’ve got a boyfriend anyways.

Your first couple months were normal. You and your Captain always made prolonged eye contact, it made your stomach swirl. He started smiling at you, giving you a small wave. Small waves turned into hanging out more, hanging out more led to more and more shared conversations-feelings. The more you got to know John, the more trouble you were getting yourself into. He put the both of you on watch together. You ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. You spent every free second you had talking to him.

When you first started, you spoke to your boyfriend every day. Every day turned to every other day. Every other day turned into a couple times a week. Now? Maybe he’d hear from you once a week.

John was aware of your boyfriend. And he didn’t have to meet him to know that he hated him. Because you were supposed to be his. But he knew he wasn’t completely in trouble, if he got close enough to you, if he pulled you away from him. Maybe you’d go for the older man. Or maybe he was delusional.

On watch one night, is when he made his first move. The both of you sitting up in the watch tower, completely alone, late at night. Talking about anything and everything. It was a perfect opportunity. You sat next to him, you’d made some kind of joke, his hand being placed in your thigh, it was innocent, to you. “You crack me up sweetheart.” He laughs.

You lean into him a little bit, making more small talk. When it’s perfect, he goes in for the kill. Leaning right into you and planting his lips right on yours. You freeze up for a second, not realizing what’s happening exactly. His hand slides further up your thigh and you kiss him back. Your brain screams at you. Every nerve ending in your body lighting on fire, a preview to hell for when you go there for being a cheater.

You pull away, standing up. Your eyes are wide. Lips plump and slightly pinker from his. “John.. I have a boyfriend.” You breathe. “I’m sorry.” He breathes. “I.. I don’t know what I was thinking.” You breathe. Hurrying out of the watch tower, he’d understand. The very moment you’re gone, John is smiling. You kissed him back, you wanted him just as bad as he wanted you.

You rushed back to your room, opening up the door and closing it behind you. You take in a deep breath, sighing as you pull your phone out of your pocket. You have a couple missed calls from your boyfriend. A few text messages, but a couple messages take you off guard. They’re from someone named Erica.

Hey. Sorry to bother you. Is this your boyfriend? *attached image*

Your eyes narrow as you read across the screen.

Yeah, what’s going on?

I’m really sorry. We’ve been sleeping together for a couple weeks and I had no idea he had a girlfriend.

Your stomach falls. You felt bad for kissing John. You were going to tell him. No matter the consequences you were going to be honest.

Thanks for telling me.

You shake your head. Now what?

You hear footsteps coming toward your room, and you recognize them immediately. They’re John’s. You notice his shadow by your door for a while. Something sliding underneath your door. You swallow hard, waiting for him to back off before gently walking over to pick it up.

Folded in half is a note. You swallow hard as you read it.

I know you feel what I feel. I’ll be at the hotel on 5th street tomorrow. Room 312. If you feel what I feel, you’ll be there. 8pm. -price.

You lay back on your bed, clenching your eyes shut.

What were you going to do?

—

Your nerves are completely shot as you head up the elevator. Your heart is pounding in your chest, you can barely take it.

What are you doing? You shouldn’t be here. Your lower stomach clenches up and you take in a deep breathe. The elevator opens up, and you step out. Turning the corner and making your way down the hallway. The red and gold designed carpet is stiff under your shoes, you can see the door.

Room 312

You stand outside for a second. Taking in a deep breath. Once you knock, you know there’s no going back. You raise your hand, hesitating a second before knocking quietly at the door. It opens pretty quickly, and your Captain looks back at you. He stands to the side, letting you come inside. “Hey.” He takes in a sharp breath. Following behind you as you walk into the room. He sits down on the edge of the hotel bed. Legs spread apart, his hands resting in his lap. “I didn’t think you’d come.” He breathes. Your eyes flash to his jeans, how tight they are on his big thighs, he’s fit. Obviously for being in the military. His thighs are large, his jeans squeeze around them. You clench your eyes closed.

You bite your lip nervously. “To be honest? I didn’t think I would either.” You laugh. You’re clutching at the strap of the backpack you have. He can see you’re nervous.

“You don’t have to do this.. you can always go back.” He breathes.

Your brain is foggy, your boyfriend is probably at home, asleep. He’s thinking you’re asleep or on watch. You shake your head. “I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t know what I was getting myself into.” You avoid his gaze. He stands up, taking a few steps closer to you. He reaches out, grasping your backpack and pulling it off of you. He sets it down on the chair, pushing your hair behind your ear. Rubbing his thumb over your cheek. “You’re a good girl.” He breathes. “Regardless of how you feel or.. if you think what you’re doing is wrong.. you’re still a good girl.” He breathes, clutching a handful of your hair at the nape of your neck. “He’s stupid to be playing a girl like you, Y/N. He doesn’t deserve you.” He sighs. Cupping your other cheek, pressing his forehead to yours. Your body is warm, the buzzing you hear in your ears is loud. You can’t stand it anymore, you need him.

You sigh into him, he can feel your warm breath on his face.

“I don’t know what to do Captain. This feels wrong.” You sigh. “Because.. in a way.. it is wrong.” He sighs. Pulling away from you. “Even if he cheated first.. you’re still cheating.”

“I just need a minute.” You breathe. Snagging your phone and going into the bathroom. You clutch handfuls of your hair, frustrated at what you’re feeling. He’s hurt you so bad, you don’t like him anymore. So why are you hesitant?

Your phone buzzing brings you out of your thoughts.

“Hey.”

You feel tears filling your eyes, you shouldn’t be here, but you shouldn’t be there either.

“Hi.”

You lie.

“Everything okay?”

“No.”

“What’s going on?”

“I know about Erica.”

It takes him a few minutes before he starts typing a reply.

“Please come home so we can talk about this in person.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Don’t do anything irrational please. I know how you are, you need to come home.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It was just a couple months. She meant nothing to me Y/N. We just.. you know. You’re a virgin and I have needs that need to be fulfilled.”

Your eyes widen. A couple months?

“How long?”

“Y/N…”

“How long?”

“Almost a year.”

After a few minutes of you sitting there, your phone starts to blow up. He’s calling and messaging. Begging you to come home. Begging you to see him, meet up with him. So you answer it as you open up the bathroom door, looking up at John as the words leave your mouth.

“Y/N. Please just hear me out-“

“I answered to say that I understand.” You breathe, pupils blown wide as you stare at John. He’s waiting nervously.

“You do?”

“Of course, everyone has needs. I have needs to be fulfilled. Which is why I’m not on base right now. I’ll have someone come by, to get my things. We’re done.”

You throw the phone down, stepping toward your Captain. “I have to be honest before we do anything.” You sigh, looking down. “I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve never had sex.” You sigh. “That’s alright.” He laughs. “I’ll be gentle with you. But only if you’re sure.” He tugs at the hem of your shirt, toying with the belt loop on your jeans. “Yeah, I’m sure.” You breathe. “That’s a good girl..” he breathes. He grasps the hem of your shirt, pulling it up and over your head. Once it’s off, he’s kissing you. You feel him melt right into you. Moaning into your lips. Finally, after those months of dreaming about you, you’re right here.

You don’t have a bra on, his fingers moving to dance over your nipples, his hands are warm against you. You know this is right, you were meant to be here, you’d made the right decision.

When you pull away from him, he can see that you’re getting overwhelmed by his touch. You’re breathing hard and all of the blood has rushed to your lips and cheeks. Your cheeks are flushed bright. Deep breathes leaving your lips. “You alright?” He asks. “Y-yeah. Yeah. I’m just really turned on.” You laugh, blushing even more. He can’t help but smile. “It’s alright. I’ll give you what you need.” He mumbles.

He reaches for your waistband, popping the button in your jeans, unzipping them and tugging them down your legs. Helping you step out of them. He glides his fingertips up your thighs, looping his fingers under the hand of your panties, tugging them down your legs too. You’ve never been so turned on in your life. “This will be our little secret, yeah? Nobody has to know.” He breathes. You nod your head, eyes fixed on his. He pushes you back onto the bed and you move yourself up it. Watching him pull his own shirt over his head. Unbuttoning his jeans and pushing them down. Once he’s fully exposed to you, he’s moving up the bed. Moving himself between your legs. He’s got something in his hand which you realize pretty quickly is a condom. He clutches it tight, kissing you more. Attacking your nipples with his lips, sucking gently at your skin until you’re whining. You tilt your head back, staring up a the ceiling. You don’t know how on earth you’ve gotten into this situation. You’ve never felt so good.

He tears the packet open, sliding the circle out before tossing the empty packet onto the nightstand. He rolls the condom over the tip of his cock, rolling it down his shaft until it’s snug on him. “You ready?” He asks. You nod your head eagerly. Making him smile. “It might hurt… just for a second.” He breathes. You nod your head. “You can always stop me. You can still leave.” He breathes. You shake your head. “Please just fuck me, John.” You scoot into him further, hearing him chuckle. “Alright baby.” He moves closer, brushing his tip over your clit, feeling you jump away from him. Earning a deep laugh from him. He presses his tip into your entrance, pushing into you slowly. The lube from the condom helps him slide into you. You grip the blanket on the hotel bed tight, face scrunching up slightly. “Almost there..” he sighs. Feeling you squeezing around him. “Doing so good- so close.” He breathes. He can feel beads of sweat growing at his hairline, his body feels like it’s on fire.

If Laswell ever found out about this, John is dead.

“There we go.” He breathes. He’s filled you up to the hilt, your body is stiff. “Try to relax. M’gonna move now okay?” You nod your head, keeping your eyes closed. “I know it hurts darling.” He breaths. He hovers over you. Grasping your hands and pinning them above your head. “But it’ll feel so good once you’re used to me. Just relax.” He breathes. He draws his hips back, pushing himself back into you. A cry leaves your lips and he muffles you by kissing you. Thrusting his hips up into yours. He can feel tears on your eyelashes as you kiss him. “Shh.. it’s alright.” He moves himself back, letting go of your hands. He lowers his hand, resting his thumb on your clit, putting a slight amount of pressure on it. You shake slightly, letting your body get used to him. You finally open your eyes, looking down. You can see him slide out of you, thrusting back inside.

You hear him laugh. “See that lovie?” He breathes. You nod your head. “You gave me your virginity.” A gasp leaves your lips as he presses again your clit harder, circling it faster. You’re getting used to him. Lifting your thighs up and holding them apart for him, getting a better look at him. You’re panting, “you’re going so deep.” You whine, looking up at him. He bites his lip slightly. “Yeah. You’re doing so good for me.” He lowers himself down so that he can kiss you again. His lips are soft against yours. He latches onto your bottom lip with his teeth, tugging at it gently. His body feels good against yours. He’s overwhelming you. You’re panting hard and he can’t help but notice, smiling down at you. “Hey. Look at me.” He grasps your chin between his fingers, forcing you to look at him. “Relax alright? Don’t need you passing out on me now.” He smiles, still lazily rocking his hips into you. You nod your head. “Yes sir.” Hearing him laugh.

“Still obey me even off duty.” He shakes his head. He lowers his head down, wrapping his lips around one of your nipples, hearing you whine. “John- it feels so good.” You grit your teeth. Eyes filling with tears. He smirks down at you. “Yeah? You feeling good now?” He chuckles. You nod your head, tears spilling out of your eyes. He’s keeping a steady pace, rocking his hips into that one spot that he knows how to find so easily. He’s going to make you fall apart beneath him. He knows you, he knows what you’ll like. He’ll treat you so much better than that stupid boyfriend of yours ever did. He brushes your hair out of your face. “You’re too overwhelmed. Relax into me. Just give yourself to me.” He breathes. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, continuing to reassure you as he pushes you closer and closer to the brink of pure bliss. Your thighs shake, he keeps you pinned down between him and the mattress beneath you. “It feels so good.. I.. I-“ a cry leaves your lips. Sobbing as you reach your high. “That’s it. Give yourself to me.” He mumbles, kissing you again to muffle your moans. He grits his teeth, clutching hard onto the mattress as he finishes into the condom. He can’t help it as he ruts his hips into you harder than he intends. “Oh fuck-“ he gasps. His arms flex as he clutches at the sheets. You swallow hard, unable to move or talk.

He slides off of you, moving to go clean up.

You slip your clothes back on while he’s in the bathroom, staring at anything. Still in complete disbelief of the events of tonight. Not only had you broken up with your boyfriend, but you had sex with your Captain. You’re staring down at your hands as you wait. Sitting on the edge of the bed. He emerges from the bathroom, fully dressed once more. Moving to sit down next to you. “Are you alright?” He asks. You nod your head, eyes still fixated on your hands. “Yeah. Just.. shocked is all I guess.” You mumble. “It’s alright. It’ll start to fade out.” He chuckles. “Uh.. yeah.” You laugh nervously. “Should we head back to base? We have watch in about an hour..” you laugh. “Yeah. Probably.” He smiles. He moves closer. “Hey. I hope I didn’t push you into anything.” He sighs. “No. No you didn’t. I wanted this.” You laugh. He nods his head. The both of you getting ready to sneak out, leave your keycards in the front desk drop box.

—

It’s been a couple weeks, and John wants to talk to you. But you’ve been avoiding him like crazy and he can’t seem to corner you anywhere.

He’s ready to just face it, walk right into your room when he knows you’re in there. But on the way there, he runs right into Kate. “Hey John. I’ve got a couple questions about the upcoming mission. Let’s go into your office.” She crosses her arms. He nods. “Of course.” He smiles. Leading her down the hallway. He opens up his door, stepping inside. He flicks the light on, Kate walks around to his chair. Crossing her arms. She sighs. “I know about what happened between you and Y/N.” She’s got her back to him. He clears his throat. “What are you talking about?” He leans forward. She turns around, facing him finally. “I know that you had sex with her.” She purses her lips. He stays quiet. “I noticed she was acting a little different, her little boyfriend she’s been seeing asked me to check up on her, said he hadn’t heard from her in a while. So I looked at her phone. Went into her room and found this.” She throws the little note he’d written to you onto his desk.

“Laswell that’s a massive invasion of privacy.” He stands up. “Yeah. And you’re also in your forties John. What the hell were you thinking?” She puts her head in her hands. He shakes his head. “I was thinking that I like her. And now I’m thinking I regret nothing.” He sighs. “What do you want me to say?”

“I just.. you made her break up with her boyfriend John. What the hell has gotten into you?”

“I didn’t make her do anything Kate. He cheated on her and she broke up with him. If you’d really gotten her phone like you said you did, you’d know that.” You narrows his eyes. She groans. “I can’t believe you.” She sighs. “She’s on the next flight off of this base, and you can be the first to go tell her.” He shakes his head. “No.” He’s stern.

“No?” She asks. “Y/N is a consenting adult. She’s on my task force. My jurisdiction.” He shrugs. “You could lose your job. John.” She grits her teeth. “Oh well.”

“You’re a Captain and you’re going to throw it all away over a girl?”

He shakes his head. “She’s not ‘just’ a girl, Kate. She’s a fully grown woman, who I happen to care a lot about. I’m sorry if you don’t like that, but I want her close by so that I can take care of her. Because I love her.” He sits down. Seeing her clench her eyes closed.

“Jesus Christ.” She mumbles.

She turns her back to him. “How the fuck did this happen?” She sighs.

“I knew it the day she stepped onto this base.” He sighs. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for going behind your back. But.. she’s.. god. I swear that girl is my best friend.” He sighs.

“I’m furious with you John.” She sighs. “I’m not happy that you went behind my back, that you’ve put her into this position. And she’s been avoiding you like the plague so you need to fix this. She can stay on this base for now, but if something goes wrong and she looses her job, or ANYTHING happens to her, I’ll have your head Price.” She flares. “You understand me?”

He nods his head. “Loud and clear.” He mumbles. “Now go make this right.” She sighs.

He stands up, disappearing out of his office. He makes his way into the mess hall where everyone should be having dinner. Making his way up to Soap where he stood with the rest of his task force. “Hey. You guys seen Y/N?” He asks. “Uhhh. Yeah. She was just over at the fridge.” Soap nods. John looks over, eyes locking with yours. You rush out of the room quickly and he’s quick to go after you. Trying not to make it obvious. You go to close your door behind you, but he stops it with his hand. You step back. He steps inside, closing the door behind him. “You can’t avoid me forever, darling.”

His back rests up against your door and your eyes clench shut at his nickname. You turn your back to him. Setting your tray down on your nightstand. “I’m sorry.” You mumble. “What’s going on? I thought we were okay.”

You sigh. “We are okay. I just.. you told me it was a secret. So I thought it was a one time thing.” You sigh.

“I.. I didn’t really want it to be a one time thing.” He mumbles. You turn to him. “What?”

He crosses his arms, laughing. “Course not. I like you. I just.. thought maybe you’d change your mind or something else would happen.” He shrugs. “No.. I.. I didn’t want it to be a one time thing either.” You mumble.

“Good. So you can stop avoiding me and let me see that pretty smile.” He smiles. “Oh.. and uh.. it’s not really a secret anymore.” He mumbles. “What?” Your eyes widen. “Kate.. she uh.. went through your things. And your phone. She found this.” He holds up the note. “She what?” You narrow your eyes. He sees the way your face changes. You snatch it from his hand, grasping the door handle and ripping the door open. “Wait- Y/N.” He tries to stop you but rush right down to his office where you know she is. “What the hell is this?” You seethe as you step inside. “You told her?”

“I didn’t think she’d be mad!” John shrugs. “Maybe you should tell me what that is?”

Your voices being raised gathers others at the doorway. “Maybe I shouldn’t because it’s my goddamn business Kate. You went through my stuff? And my phone? I came here to get away from that.” You hiss. “Y/N- come on honey.” John reaches for your arm but you shrug him off. “Y/N. You’re not thinking right.”

“Oh, I’m thinking just fine. I’m a grown woman, who deserves privacy. And if I want to risk my job by fucking my Captain, I will.”

Everyone who’s standing outside of his office has wide eyes, mouths open wide. “You’re not my mom and you promised you would leave this alone.” You growl. “You clearly can’t handle it!” Kate throws her hands up. “Because you’re always breathing down my back. I’m a grown woman. No more of this Kate. No fucking more.” You growl. “Okay. I’m sorry I went through your stuff Y/N. But I worry about you.” She sighs. “I understand that. But if I have something seriously wrong, I promise I will come to you about it. But you have to give me a little bit space sometimes. For christs sake, I’m in the military putting my life on the line and this is where you draw the line?” You breathe. “Alright, no more of this. We’re taking a walk, we’ll come back to this later.” John pushes you back, hearing you sigh in frustration. “Everyone please go back to your posted chores please!” He calls.

“Christ in heaven you’re sexy when you’re going off.” He mumbles in your ear, hearing you laugh.

“You’ve got it had John.” You mumble. “Yeah. Maybe I do. But that’s something we can talk about after I’ve fucked you, hm?” He smiles, pushing you back toward your room.

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cc--2224 · 9 days

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I Told You So

Pairing: Tech x F!Reader

Summary: After a mission goes wrong, Tech realizes that you are more precious to him than he originally thought, and though he is upset that you didn’t listen to him, he is more upset that he nearly lost you. And he intends to finally do something about it.

Warnings: This is very much 18+ Minors do not interact! Slight canon typical violence and mentions of injuries in whatever plot this has, smut; oral - f receiving, unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it!!), porn with feelings, possessive Tech, slight praise kink? language

Notes: I don’t know where this came from, it has been a minute since I’ve written anything remotely spicy let alone an actual smut fic. But please let me know what you think!

Word Count: 5.5k

Taglist: None, let me know if you'd like to be added!

Masterlist

Edit: Thank you all for the likes and reblogs!! I hope you enjoyed it 💚

"It is unwise for any of us to go out on our own, we should be working in teams of two." Tech pointed out as you were gearing up for your mission. You were to locate and rescue a Republic senator who had been imprisoned by the Separatists and bring them back to Coruscant.

"There's an odd number, we can't go in teams of two." You pointed out. "I can handle myself, I don't want to divide your squad."

Ever since you had teamed up with Clone Force 99, you had gotten to know them well, but you still felt like an outsider. In some ways, you were, but you never really felt like one of the team. It wasn't uncommon for you to be the odd one out for teamwork, and to you, this was no different.

In truth, you had always hoped to be partnered with Tech when you were given the briefing, but his talents were more complementary with one of his brothers. Ever since you met him, you were drawn to him, his brains, his demeanor, the way he lit up when speaking about something that interested him which ended up being nearly everything. He was handsome and skilled, and he welcomed you into the squad immediately, over the following months, you began developing feelings for him.

It never hindered your performance on missions, not only because you were never paired up with him, but you were good at compartmentalizing your feelings from your work. You wanted to get closer to him, but there never seemed to be a good time, and even if there was, you just didn't know how to bridge the gap.

"You can join Crosshair and myself, it will be safe for you." He suggested.

"We'll cover more ground in three groups. I'll be fine, I doubt there are even going to be any platoons that far out."

Tech shrugged, "Suit yourself. I will send you the coordinates for our rendezvous point. Keep your comm on."

You nodded and left the Marauder with your equipment.

You had no idea that this mission would be more dangerous than many you had encountered, but Tech knew, he always did.

As you approached the outskirts of the village, you saw a clear path straight through to the compound where you suspected the senator was held. It seemed a little too good to be true, there should have been droids out here, not full platoons, but someone keeping watch.

You drew your blaster to be safe, and crept onward, keeping an eye out for anything out of place. You could hear chatter over the comms of the others checking in with each other, and then you heard Tech say your name.

“All clear. As I said.”

Tech didn’t reply and you lowered the volume on your comm, still keeping it on, but not wanting to draw attention to yourself.

You had made it about halfway through the clearing when you saw blaster fire strike about ten paces to your left. You looked up, trying to see where it came from when you saw a platoon of B1s headed your way.

“Easy work.” You mumbled to yourself, aiming your blaster forward, shooting them as they neared you.

It was easy work at first, but there didn’t seem to be an end to them. When you’d shoot one, two more would appear, and before you could even disable a squadron of them, a tank appeared over the horizon.

“Kriff.” You said.

You considered calling for backup, but your pride couldn’t handle Tech telling you that he told you so, so instead you took a grenade out of your pack and threw it toward the platoon. It didn’t seem to damage the tank, but it at least got rid of the marching battle droids.

If you had raised your comm to ask for help, you would have heard Hunter say that the target was secure, and call for everyone to return to the ship, but you were the only one who didn’t check in.

“Tech, Crosshair, you two go find her. Wrecker and I will bring the senator back to the ship.” Hunter told them.

They left their post and headed to your last known location.

“Why didn’t she just join our team?” Crosshair finally asked.

“I did suggest it, but due to her stubborn nature, she was certain she would be fine on her own.” Tech’s tone indicated his annoyance. He wanted to be as annoyed as he sounded, but more than anything he was worried.

He liked having you around, you were always willing to listen to him prattle on about whatever topic was on his mind. You were kind, you treated him and his brothers well. The idea that you could be taken from them had never crossed his mind until now. Unlike you, he had no idea of the way he felt about you. He had rarely had feelings for anyone before, he didn’t know how it was supposed to feel. All he knew was that he didn’t want to sit through a briefing without you, or ramble on about some useless topic without you intently listening, and he didn’t want your last conversation to be the last conversation. He didn’t want to be right about this one thing.

When they saw the explosion in the distance, he began to fear he was right.

The tank fired toward you, it missed its mark and you were able to avoid a direct hit, but the explosion was just a little too close. You were sent flying back from the shock wave, and you could hear buzzing in your ear before everything went black.

If you hadn't gone out on your own, someone could have been looking out for you. Tech could have been looking out for you, just as he insisted upon.

But instead, you were so certain you could handle yourself that you had gotten yourself in trouble.

You woke up in your bunk, bandaged and sore, but still alive. You didn’t know what happened, and you weren’t exactly eager to find out, but you knew you had to face everyone eventually.

Wrecker smiled at you when you walked into the cockpit, “Well look who’s finally awake!”

Crosshair didn’t say anything, instead looking at the back of Tech’s chair.

You heard a sigh, and then Tech turned his chair around, eyeing you up and down.

“Something you need to say?” He finally asked.

“What happened with the mission?”

Hunter spoke, “Got the senator. We’ll be arriving on Coruscant shortly.”

Had you really been asleep that long?

"I told you you should not have gone on your own." It seemed Tech was tired of the small talk.

You looked at him, unsure of what he wanted you to say. “I was just doing my part of the mission, nothing I did was out of line. I didn't know there would be that many droids on the outskirts." It was a losing argument, and one you'd rather not have in the cockpit of the Marauder in front of everyone, but Tech didn't seem interested in anything but the argument.

"Precisely. If you had gone with Crosshair and I, you would not have encountered those droids. And now you are injured because of your own mistake." He had raised his voice, something you’d never heard him do.

You flinched slightly at his words but he continued, “What happened to keeping your comm on? We were trying to reach you.”

“My comm was on!” You retorted, “Just turned it down so I wouldn’t be spotted.”

“Yes well, a lot of good that did you.” He responded sarcastically. “We might not be there to save you next time. Keep that in mind before you choose to do something so reckless.” He turned away from you, facing the front again.

Your eyebrows furrowed at the back of the chair, "I didn’t ask to be saved, in fact I’d rather be back there with the droids. Maybe then-"

Hunter cut into your argument. "That is enough, both of you."

He looked at you with his eyebrows knit together, "Go lay down, rest is going to help your injuries, arguing is not."

You opened your mouth to protest, but before you could say anything, you turned and went to your bunk.

After you were out of earshot, Hunter spoke to Tech.

"What was that about? You can't just yell at her, she got hurt, she learned her lesson already."

"As I have mentioned, she would not have-"

"Stow it. We all know what's going on between you, even if you don't. You need to figure it out before your next outburst." Hunter turned in his chair to face the front of the ship again. Tech looked on at the dancing lights of hyperspace.

Tech didn’t speak to you for the next week. The five of you were granted time off after saving the senator and you had all decided to spend it on Coruscant, but with the tension in the ship, it didn’t seem like much of a vacation.

You knew that all you had to do was apologize, but you didn’t feel like you did anything wrong.

You knew the others were getting tired of yours and Tech’s attitudes; they all knew that it was more than just the mission. They knew about your feelings for each other, and they knew how worried Tech had been as he treated your wounds and bandaged you up.

The only thing they could do was to force a resolution.

“Okay, we’ve had enough.” Hunter said loud enough for both you and Tech to hear at opposite ends of the ship. “We’re all going out. And that includes the two of you.”

He slammed down a flyer he had found for a gondola ride through the upper levels, complete with all the sights Coruscant had to offer.

“Is that really necessary?” You asked, glancing at Tech from the corner of your eye. You couldn’t think of anything less beneficial than the five of you being cramped together in a confined space you couldn’t leave.

“It isn’t a request.” Hunter informed you.

You sighed and left the ship, followed by the others, and finally Tech, and you made your way to the park where the dock was located.

The five of you slowly arrived at the front of the queue, and when it was your turn, you were shoved into a gondola along with Tech. None of the other batchers joined you, but before you thought to exit, the vessel's door had closed and you were moving.

You sat down on the bench across from Tech, still avoiding eye contact by looking out the window, arms crossed.

Tech still kept his silence. Even a week later, he was still considering Hunter's words. Was there something between him and you? He knew he didn’t want to lose you, but that was completely normal, wasn't it? And even if it wasn’t normal, that doesn’t mean whatever he felt was reciprocated. But if you did return his feelings, he knew this might be one of the only chances he had to act on it, to tell you how he felt.

When the gondola had reached nearly the top of the track, the view overlooking the Jedi temple, he sighed and finally looked at you.

"You see, I... I felt responsible for your injuries."

"You felt responsible?" You repeated after a pause. "Wasn't it my fault that I got injured? For not following your oh-so-wise plan?"

You were acting petulant, but your emotions were still running high and the confined space didn't help.

"Well yes, if you had done as I suggested, you would have been free from injury."

"Right, because you know everything."

"Crosshair and I left with zero injuries. So yes, this I know to be fact."

"Do you really have to say 'I told you so'? I'm sorry, is that what you want to hear? I'm sorry that I got hurt because I didn't l-"

You didn't have time to react before you felt Tech's lips upon yours. One hand was on the side of your face and the other was digging into your waist.

The vessel rocked slightly at his movement, causing you to grip onto the bench. Your eyes were still wide at the sudden contact, but when he didn't back away, you closed your eyes and deepened the kiss, moving your hands to place them on his chest.

He stopped to take a breath, his lips still hovering tantalizingly close over yours, breathing you in, committing your perfumed smell to memory.

You closed the gap this time when you decided he had enough time to catch his breath.

His tongue darted out and swiped across your lip, asking for access to explore. You allowed it, moaning into his mouth when you felt his tongue against yours.

In one swift movement, he sat on the bench and pulled you into his lap, resuming the kiss once you had situated yourself.

Your hands moved up, resting on his shoulders briefly before snaking your arms around the back of his neck, holding him close. You could feel his strong hands massaging your thighs before resting on your ass, testing the waters by giving it a squeeze, you bucked your hips slightly in response.

You could feel a coiling sensation in your stomach, a heat pulsing through you, and pooling out onto your panties. You wanted him, and you could feel based on his actions and the stiff bulge in his pants that he wanted you just as badly.

He broke the kiss, and moved his head back, causing you to chase after his kiss. He put a finger to your lips and smirked.

"You must be patient, the gondola ride is near the end of its course, and I still have more to say about the mission."

You frowned in protest, feeling all that heat suddenly dissipate as he gently pushed you off of him.

"Not to worry, the Marauder is nearby, no one else will be there and we can continue our conversation there, if that is what you want."

You nodded in agreement.

"I apologize, but I will need to hear an answer before I can comply."

"Yes, I want that." You said too quickly, trying and failing to not sound too desperate.

He smirked again. "Good girl. You and I still have much to discuss."

You whined slightly at his praise, then waited for the door to open as you neared the dock.

After disembarking, Tech grabbed your hand, pushing past the people exiting their respective vessels. Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair were nearby, but you didn't see them as Tech ushered you back toward the landing port.

"I guess they finally talked about it." Wrecker had said, staring wide-eyed after you two.

"We should probably give them some privacy so they can talk more." Hunter shook his head, smirking toward the ground.

"Just as long as they don't talk in my bunk." Crosshair said as he crossed his arms.

The door to the Marauder wooshed open, and the two of you hurried on board. Tech was back on you before it could close again.

He pushed you back into the wall, pinning you there as he kissed you. Placing hot kisses on your lips, your cheek, your jaw, your neck, anywhere he could.

"Do you realize how worried I was when I saw you?" He asked between kisses. "When I heard the explosion, when I rushed over only to find your body on the ground?"

He stopped kissing you and looked into your eyes, "I thought I lost you before you were even mine to lose."

"Tech.." You tried to move a hand from his grip to place it on his face, but he tightened his hold on it. “I’m sorry.”

“I do not want your apologies.” He told you, “I want you by my side, I want you to be safe. I…” He kissed you again, this time more roughly, eliciting a moan from you again. “I want you to be mine.”

Behind his goggles, his pupils were dilated, his eyes half-lidded.

The coiling feeling returned. Your stomach was in knots. You had never seen Tech like this before, you hadn’t seen him behave so possessively, and you wanted to see more of it.

"Then make me yours." You said, only a whisper. “I want to be yours.”

His mouth found yours again, not bothering to ask you to give his tongue space to enter but instead forcing it past your lips. His knee slotted itself between your legs, close enough to tease you, but not close enough to give you friction where you desired it most. You bucked your hips trying to find it on your own, and he smiled into the kiss.

"What do you want, mesh’la?" He asked you.

You bucked again in response. He removed one hand from yours and brought it down, pushing your hips back against the wall so you couldn't move them again.

"I told you, I need to hear your words. Tell me what you want."

"I want you. I-I need you."

"Then I should not keep you waiting."

He let go of your hip, and with the hand that was still holding yours above you, he guided you over toward the console.

"Here?" You asked.

"Well, of course." He guided your hips downward so that you were seated. "I cannot help but think about how pretty you would look while I fucked you right on the console of my ship."

You let out an involuntary moan at just his words alone.

He caressed the side of your face, and with a feather-light stroke across your jaw, he tilted your chin up to meet your gaze. Despite his words just a moment ago, he placed a gentle kiss on your lips once more, and his hand slowly traveled down your neck, over your breast, down your stomach, and rested at the hem of your shirt.

He looked into your eyes, silently asking for permission. You nodded eagerly and he pulled your shirt up over your head. He tossed it onto the seat behind him and then looked at you, admiring the newly uncovered parts of you.

"Beautiful." He whispered. Out of everything done so far, this one word was enough to make you blush, you tried to turn your head away but he stopped you.

Leaning down over you, he placed a kiss on your shoulder, then your collarbone, trailing down to your breasts, still obstructed by your bra. His lips kissed the top of one, while his hand held the other over the fabric. You reached behind your back and unclasped it, giving him access to another part of you where you wanted to feel his touch.

He tutted quietly. "I could have done that myself."

You rolled your eyes jokingly and he resumed allowing his lips to explore your skin, now alternating between kissing and sucking. And where his lips weren't, his hands were. Squeezing the flesh, thumbing over your nipple while his mouth worked on the other.

Soon, he continued his exploration, and as he neared your stomach, he lowered himself down until he was kneeling between your thighs.

His gaze was hungry as it focused on your center, his lips formed a tight line, holding his mouth closed to prevent his tongue from hanging out.

His hands were on your knees, he trailed them up your thighs, stopping at the waistband of your pants, once again looking up at you to ask your permission. You situated yourself to make it easier for him to remove them, and soon they too were discarded, thrown back toward the pilot chair. His hands were back on your thighs, prodding the soft skin, placing hot, open-mouthed kisses on each of them, sucking them enough to leave marks.

You whined, both at the sensation of him marking your legs, but also at the lack of sensation where you really wanted him to be.

He smirked up at you, and then spread your legs further apart, slowly moving his face toward your aching cunt. He could see how turned on you were, and he licked his lips before speaking.

"Stars, you appear to be soaked."

"Mmhm." Was all you could manage, all your attention was on the fact that he was inches away from giving you the friction you needed.

"Cyar'ika.." He scolded. "Words. You need something of me, what is it?"

"I... I just need you, I need your mouth, your fingers, your cock, I-I need to feel you." Your desperate words turned his gaze dark.

"Good girl, telling me everything you want," his praise caused you to squirm, trying to close your thighs just to feel friction, but he held them open.

"You enjoy it when I call you that?"

"Gods, yes." You moaned.

He hummed in response, keeping that knowledge filed away.

He finally pressed his face forward, nose rubbing against your clothed pussy. You whined in response. He dragged the tip of his nose upward, knowing exactly where you wanted to be touched, and he hooked his fingers around the waistband of your panties, relishing in your whines and pleas for him to finally take them off of you, and soon he relented, letting them join the rest of your clothes before he dove in.

He ate you like a man starved, licking you through your folds, tasting as much of you as he could.

"G-ah, fuck, Tech," you cried out, your hands reaching for his hair. The feeling of your hands gripping his hair causing him to groan.

His lips wrapped around your clit, alternating between sucking it and circling his tongue around it. He could feel you squirming at his touch and he reached one hand up, resting it on your hips, hoping to help anchor your.

With his other hand, he circled your entrance, teasing you, making you beg him to touch you before he obliged.

He slid one long finger into you as far as he could, pressing against the spongy walls, exactly where you needed to feel him.

He let go of your clit and let his tongue run up and down your folds, getting another taste of your juices.

"M-mmo-" You began to say, being cut off by the feeling of his tongue making another swipe up.

"My apologies, you will have to repeat yourself." He looked up at you, his face slick with your arousal.

"More, I need more."

He raised an eyebrow and plunged another finger into you. Your head rolled back and you cried out.

"Is that what you wanted?"

"Yes!"

Your grip tightened on his hair, pulling his face back into you. His hot breath fanned against your cunt and you sighed in contentment.

"Gods, you are a needy thing." His purred, his voice vibrated against you as he attached himself to your clit again.

He sucked on you while his fingers made scissor patterns inside you, all the while you could feel the coil start to tighten.

"I'm close-" You cried out. He didn't change anything about his rhythm. He strived to get you there, he was eager to please you after he had been so harsh toward you earlier. His tongue circled your clit and he could feel you pulsing around his fingers.

You could feel the heat growing in your stomach, your moans got louder as you got closer. He slid his fingers out, and before you could complain about the loss, you felt his tongue swiping up and down before dipping inside you. His fingers resumed drawing circles on your clit as he drank from you.

Your thighs clenched together, forcing him to stay exactly where he was, you muttered out a string of curses as the coil finally snapped and you cried his name as you came undone. He kept lapping at you until you were through.

You released your hold on his hair and he stood back up.

"You taste magnificent," He smirked, licking your arousal off his fingers before his mouth found yours again. You could taste yourself on his tongue as he leaned you back onto the console. You shuddered when you felt his stiffened cock press against you. His hands began grabbing at your breasts and your arms wrapped around his neck pulling him in.

"You are perfect." He said as he began kissing every piece of you he could. He locked onto your neck, he kissed you fervently, then gently bit down, giving you a mark that would be difficult to hide from the others, not that they didn’t already have an idea of what was going on here. But that’s what Tech wanted, he wanted to show everyone that you were his.

"Tech.." You said quietly,

"Mm?"

"I want to see you." You pushed yourself back up onto your elbows and looked into his eyes.

For a moment, just for a moment, he froze, but soon enough, his hands moved to the fastener on his pants.

"Let me do that."

He smirked and helped you off the console gently.

You worked on the buttons on his shirt first, unbuttoning them slowly, placing gentle kisses on his chest as each loose button reveals it to you.

He tilted your chin up and leaned in for a kiss, pressing against you. You could feel his stiff bulge press into you again and your hands moved faster to unbutton his shirt.

You pushed it off his shoulders when it's finally unbuttoned, and you looked at his toned chest. You knew he'd be strong but it was still a surprise to you. Your fingers danced across his torso, feeling the muscles under his smooth skin, before finally landing on the fastener of his pants.

You look up at him, just as he did for you, asking for his permission. He pressed his forehead against yours in response, you smiled and kissed his lips, then moved to undo the fastening. He helped you to slide his pants off, and he stepped out of them, kicking them off to the side.

You could see the outline of his cock much clearer against his briefs and you could feel your mouth water, you clenched your thighs together, not wanting to wait to feel it inside of you. He raised an eyebrow at you.

"You desire it so badly?" He asked you, forcing your gaze away from it and back up to him.

You nod quickly, "Yes."

He smiled then rutted his hips against you, "Then please, continue."

Your hands moved to the waistband of his briefs, he moved his lips to yours again and you returned the kiss before kissing along his jaw, then his neck. You peeled the waistband down and he hissed as his briefs grazed across his cock. They had soon joined the rest of the clothes and you looked down.

You bit your bottom lip and you started to lower yourself down but he stopped you. You gave him a confused look, and he smirked.

"There will be plenty of time for that at a later time. But for now,"

He continued by guiding you back onto the console, laying your back down and he stood between your legs with his hands on your thighs.

"Are you comfortable?" He asked.

"Yes," you assured him.

You felt his cock rub against your folds, before he positioned himself at your entrance.

"Ready?" He asked.

You bucked your hips in response and he pushed himself in without another word.

You arched your back as you felt him stretch you open, if there was any pain, it quickly turned into pleasure as he buried himself in you inch by inch.

When he was fully sheathed, he gave you a moment to adjust before he started to move. He started out slow, he made sure that you were used to the feeling of his thrusts before he picked up the pace.

"Gods, you are taking me so well, cyar'ika."

You replied with a moan. You bucked your hips to meet his pace and he smirked.

"Is there something you want?"

"Mmm p-please, go fas-faster" you answered between thrusts.

"Very well," He obliged, his hands gripped onto your thighs and he buried himself again, quickening his pace at your request. He looked at you as you took his cock, the way your back arched, how your tits bounced with each thrust, the way your face contorted in pleasure.

He tightened his grip on your thighs, you took that as a hint to wrap your legs around his waist and he moaned in response, feeling himself go even deeper inside you.

"You are so perfect, such a good girl for me." Your walls clenched around his cock at his praise.

He thrusted into you harder wanting to explore the new angle he was permitted.

“Fu-uck,” you whined.

"Is this okay?" He asked, unsure of if he was hurting you.

"Gods, yes!"

He set a brutal pace, but you bucked your hips, meeting his thrusts each time.

Tech could feel himself nearing his climax, his pace started to become slightly more erratic. He slid one hand down your thigh toward your center. He circled your clit with his thumb, intending on sending you over the edge with him.

Your walls clenched around him again at the contact. You were getting close again. Your moans grew louder as you neared the edge.

"That's it," He said, he wanted to feel you come undone again. He continued circling your clit as he thrusted into you. "Be a good girl and come for me once more, come on my cock."

Your second orgasm crashed over you without as much of a warning as the first, your legs tightened around him, he slowed his thrusts down, helping you through it, and he moaned at how your walls constricted him. He knew he wasn't going to last much longer.

"Wh.. Where do you want me?" He asked.

"In-inside," you said, still overcoming the last of the waves of pleasure.

He didn't ask any further questions, he buried himself as far as he could before he stilled, his cock twitching inside you as he painted your walls with hot ropes of his seed.

He moaned out your name as he finished, feeling himself soften inside of you, he pulled himself out of you and you pushed yourself up, wrapping your arms around his neck, kissing his lips, your tongue darting into his mouth.

He returned the kiss, holding you close to him, and his hands traveled across your thighs, before lifting you up from the console.

“I love you.” You told him, resting your head on his shoulder as he held you. “I think I always have, but… In case it still wasn’t obvious.”

He smiled and carried you toward the refresher, sitting you down on the counter when you arrived, giving you a chaste kiss on the lips. “Perhaps it was not obvious over the last week, but now, I would have more questions if you did not.” He smiled at you, “I love you too. But next time, if I ask you to join me on a mission instead of going off on your own, please listen to me.”

“But look where it brought us.” You replied with a smirk.

“Perhaps that is true, but for your own information, you do not need to nearly get yourself killed in order for me to fuck you. You could have just asked.”

He grabbed a towel before he quickly left to retrieve your clothes and clean off the console. Tech soon returned to you and turned the water on, helping you off the counter and guiding you to the shower where he joined you. It didn’t take long for his lips to be on you once again.

While it was your stubbornness that led you to this point in the first place, you were suddenly very eager to see what would happen on the next mission, should you and Tech finally be paired together.

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starrystevie · 7 months

Text

18+ | modern office steddie au | cw: public sex, undernegotiated kinks, unsafe sex | crossposted to ao3 here

eddie doesn't do it often. okay, maybe that's a stretch. frequently might be a better word for it, more accurate. but he wouldn't say he does it everyday or anything. it's just a little break from the day, an escape from the monotony of corporate america.

he's only been in this new tech support job for a few months but he's already comfortable enough that working on his next novel at his desk doesn't give him anxiety anymore. he isn't afraid someone is looking over his shoulder all the time like he did when he first started with the company.

the thing is, eddie's good at tech. he's good at finding the problems, finding even better solutions. half the time all he's doing is updating and restarting people's equipment that hasn't been refreshed in years. so he finds himself with enough free time at his desk to work on the second installment of his fantasy novel when the problems seem to be at a low.

as he waits for his laptop to boot up, eddie cracks his knuckles and grabs his phone to send a text to his editor that may or may not also happen to be his best friend so he could cut back on over exuberant editing fees. he doesn't read the message over, just fires out a text to nancy quickly before pocketing his phone.

he only realizes the typo once he gets a laughing emoji in return and cackles at what he actually sent.

"getting ready to write some smut on the cock!!!!!"

it doesn't take long to send a winky face before correcting himself to say " on the clock obviously", before pocketing his phone and opening the document where his novel is. just as eddie is about to start typing, a voice behind him makes him jump out of his skin.

"what was so funny?" steve asks, arm propped on the top of his flimsy cubicle wall, legs crossed over one another, smirk on his face.

eddie forces himself not to swoon. he takes in the way his white button up stretches across his chest, dress pants oh so snug over his thighs, hair pushed back in the way that only steve harrington could pull off. he may have only been at the office for a few months, but ever since he first saw him, steve very quickly became the only thing eddie could think about.

"i'm sure you wouldn't find it funny," he starts, tilting his laptop screen halfway shut so steve can't catch him doing his other job, his favorite job, while at work.

steve smirks again, his cheek lifting enough to crinkle his eye. "try me, munson."

with a dramatic push, eddie rolls in his wheely chair and stands up so he can keep his voice low. "i sent my editor a dirty text on accident."

if steve's surprised, he doesn't show it.

"editor, hmm? for what?" his voice is as low as eddie's and it makes the cubicle feel even smaller than it is. like everything in the world has zeroed in on their whispers to each other.

"i might be writing a book. well, technically i've already written a book. this is just the sequel."

steve's eyes flick from eddie to his laptop and then back once more. "is it anything i'd know?"

he cackles again, picturing steve reading his smutty fantasy novel, eyebrows furrowed as he tries to make any sense out of the haphazard world map eddie drew for the back page. but then again, he could easily picture steve in the world he made. he'd be a prince- no, scratch that, an elven prince- just like the one he's writing about in this one.

"i do read, you know. i'm not entirely up to date with everything but i do like books." steve says it like he's almost hurt and it makes eddie look back up at him, mellowing out his wide grin into a softer smile.

"oh, i wasn't doubting that. i just doubt you read elf porn in your free time."

whatever hurt was lacing through steve's face is gone, replaced with wide eyes and eyebrows to his hairline and a bright smile pulling at his cheeks.

"yeah," he says a little breathless, "yeah, definitely not the first thing i'd reach for."

eddie gives him a told-you-so head nod and brings a hand up to run through his hair, tracking steve's eyes as he follows the motion for a moment. having his eyes on him rushes through eddie like a wave crashing and he's halfway tempted to do it again if he didn't think it would look forced.

"well you probably don't know mine then."

as he turns to go back to his chair, he hears steve cough to get his attention back, arms crossed over his chest to make his shirt pull taut over his beautiful, gorgeous, annoyingly perfect biceps. "so what was the dirty text?"

"well, it was actually a typo," eddie starts, cocking his head to the side with a smirk as he pulls out his phone, "so an unintentional dirty text. but still funny, none the less. and i don't think i can say it out loud without getting hr called on my ass so-"

he holds up his phone so steve can see the brief conversation between him and nancy, watches his eyebrows shoot back up to his hairline, watches as his mouth drops open for a millisecond before giving eddie another goddamn smirk. steve leans back, drops his arms to put a hand on his hip, and looks eddie less than subtly up and down.

"so... do you want to?"

eddie can feel the moment his heart stutters in his chest. a combination of steve's general... steveness plus the implication of what the text said and his mind travels to a dirty, dirty, not meant for work place until he pieces it somewhat together and asks-

"...are you asking if i'm gay?"

steve huffs out a laugh and takes a step further into eddie's cubicle. there already isn't much room and with him coming in the tiniest bit closer, their toes are almost touching.

"sure," he says like it's the easiest thing to say on a thursday afternoon. "it can be a two-part question if you want."

a few things run through eddie's head all at the same time:

steve's close enough that he can feel the heat radiating off of the arm he now has resting on his desk, and he's really about to come out to a coworker which he normally leaves for at least 6 months into a new job, and that he thinks he's going to pass out if steve is actually asking what he thinks he's asking.

do you want to write smut while you're on my cock?

he doesn't know where he finds the courage, honestly. call it a slow thursday, call it a little extra motivation for his novel. eddie scoots closer and throws caution to the wind.

"then yes to both."

he's never seen steve's office. he's been to the top floors before when some higher up needed him to install a web browser on his new desktop so he has kind of an idea of what the private offices look like.

eddie didn't expect the first time that he got to see steve's office would be spread out, bent over his desk with his novel pulled up on his laptop while steve runs his hands over his ass.

"here's how this is going to work," steve whispers close to his ear while he lays against his back, snaking a hand up to undo the knot of eddie's messy tie, popping open a button on his dress shirt in the process. "you stop writing, i stop fucking you."

with a hum, eddie presses his hips back, up on his tiptoes with his off brand dress shoes pinching his feet tightly. "i think i can manage that."

"i'm not finished," he bites gently at eddie's ear lobe, returning his hands to palm over his ass cheeks. "everything i do to you, and i mean everything, needs to be written down. turn me into a character or something, i don't care, but i expect you to be thorough."

he doesn't mean to moan at the instructions, really he doesn't, but it's so easy to picture steve morphing into a character in his world. his mind races trying to figure out how exactly to write him into the scene that had already started, but with a snap of his fingers as the idea clicks, he writes out a quick line and looks at steve over his shoulder for approval.

"who's sylvar?" steve asks, pronunciation clunky on his tongue.

"sylvar is an elven prince, might as well make you him. besides, you both have an s name."

steve chuckles, his breath ruffling eddie's hair. "okay, fair. prince, huh?"

he doesn't have to look over his shoulder again to know that steve's smirking so he rolls his eyes and finishes the sentence, only breaking away to gasp as steve brings his hand between his thighs to spread them further apart.

"i'm gonna take a wild guess and say that elidyr is supposed to be you?"

eddie nods and pulls his tie off the rest of the way. "let's see, he's one of the prince's newest attendants, known for being a bit out of control, gets chastised for staring at the prince's ass in his khakis too much-"

"you're making that one up, huh?"

he tosses his tie to the side and brings a hand up to tangle in steve's hair, pulling his lips down to his neck and waiting for him to get the hint and start kissing. "steve, i'm making all of it up. that's the way writing a book goes."

"is that so?" he murmurs playfully against his neck, teeth pressing against the skin as he smiles, hands yanking on his hips to get eddie flush against his cock. "...i don't see you writing."

eddie huffs and shakes his head before writing out quickly how sylvar grabbed elidyr by the hips roughly to show him how excited he was. steve takes the typing as the go ahead and quickly undoes both of their pants before running his hands up eddie's now bare thighs.

he didn't really have any idea of how well he'd be able to hold out to steve's ministrations while having to write them out at the same time, but any confidence he had in himself leaves when steve's palm cups his cock through his briefs. eddie cants his hips forward and brings his hand back up to tangle once more in steve's hair.

and just like that, the touch is gone.

"oh, come on!" eddie whines and brings his hands back to the keyboard, typing in random filler words until suddenly he has no underwear and hands pulling his ass cheeks apart.

"gonna fucking take you apart... shit," steve whispers and eddie doesn't think he was supposed to hear it, but he writes it into the scene anyway.

there's a cool dribble of what must be lube on his hole and he fights against the shiver it sends up his spine. "you have lube in your office?"

"no, i have lube in my briefcase. big difference."

eddie doesn't really see how to the two are different, but he laughs to appease steve before getting cut short as a finger starts to enter him. he must whine, must jerk or do something wrong because it's leaving almost as soon as it had arrived.

"steve, i swear to god," eddie groans, head dropping down as he types without looking. poor nancy is going to have a hell of time reading and editing over this draft.

they both sigh when the finger presses into him once more and steve weaves his other hand into eddie's hair to pull him up and look at his screen. "there you go, just keep typing. write about how good it feels."

and shit. that's hotter than he expected it to be.

it goes well for all of a few minutes, eddie typing and steve reading over his shoulder, scissoring his fingers to get him nice and wet and open. they both somehow manage to keep their composure, filthy words being muttered out loud that then end up on the screen.

it's after steve gets him cock in him that it all goes down hill.

"oh fuck-" eddie moans as his leg gets hoisted up for a better angle. steve's grip on his hip is brutal, bound to be leaving bruises, as he pulls eddie back to meet him in the middle.

his chest is rubbing against the pleather desk cover, nipples catching on just the right side of painful when steve pushes his shirt up and out of the way. his dick is flopping against his thigh with every thrust, the lack of friction driving him insane.

he swears he only takes his hands away from the laptop for a second but then steve's pulling out quickly, dropping his leg and getting eddie off balance. he whines like he's throwing a temper tantrum before bringing his fingers back up to type more nonsense, gasping when steve slides back in like no time has passed.

"read it," he huffs next to his ear, "tell me how perfect you make fucking me sound."

"oh my god," eddie croaks, eyes rolling back as steve lets go of his hip once more to pull his head upright. "sylvar fucks wi-without abandon, hitting every right spot possible inside elidyr, the heat of his h-heavy cock punishing him making him mad with lust."

"good, yeah that's good. like when i fuck you hard?" steve grunts out before pistoning his hips even faster, eddie's moans bouncing off the bare office walls. "tell me more, keep going baby."

"the grip he uses to hold onto elidyr's hair is the only thing keeping him upright. this is all he could want, tending to the prince's every desire, being whatever the prince wants him to be." eddie expects it when the fingers in his hair curl even tighter, his back bowing against the desk with the pressure, but he still keens loudly at the pull.

steve chuckles roughly, like he's barely holding on himself, hips stuttering before evening out. "is that what you want?"

"wha-" eddie murmurs, not trusting his voice much more than that, his brain turning into mush. "is what what i want?"

"want to tend to my desires, want to be for me to use however i please?"

and the thing is, realistically, eddie knows this whole thing is weird, blending his two worlds together in a way he's never done before, but it doesn't stop him from forgoing the rules and bringing a hand down to work over his cock. "god, don't stop. please, please, please..."

steve must be tired of the game, too, because he doesn't even attempt to quit what they're doing to punish eddie as he stops writing. he barely has time to appreciate that the game is finally over because the hand in his hair slides around to rest gently around eddie's throat, pulling him up so his back is to steve's chest, every thrust punching out another gasping breath.

"answer the question," he says, punctuating each word with a snap of his hips. "gonna let me use you how i want?"

eddie has died and gone to heaven and the cause of death is a mixture of steve's tongue, hands, and cock. his mind wanders to what else they could do together, what else he'd let steve do, what else he wants steve to do. he sends up a quick thank you to whoever is listening that he saw the job posting for this company so he could be here in this moment with a possible sex god in his midst.

the hand that he had braced on the desk for support makes its way up to cover steve's on his throat, a barely there pressure combined with his quick fingers on his cock that sends him over the edge.

he breathes out a "yes" as he shoots come across the stop of steve's desk and see stars dancing in his eyes. steve fucks him through it, whispers filth of what he wants to do to eddie right into his ear, and when he comes back to himself, he digs his nails in the top of steve's hand.

"want it, want you, however you want me-" he chokes out.

and when steve finally comes inside of him, eddie makes sure he bends back down with his cock still pounding into him to write some line about how nice elidyr thinks it feels to filled up from someone who probably shouldn't be giving him the time of day. he tries not to find parallels as steve kisses up the back of his neck as he rocks his hips for the final time.

eddie's bare ass is in a mixture of their come as they maneuver him around to let him sit up and wrap his legs around steve's hips, pulling their spent cocks together while they lazily make out. steve's hands dance softly over his bare thighs, eddie threads his fingers through steve's hair.

"how does it end?" steve whispers against his lips.

"i don't know yet," eddie says truthfully, his mind wandering as kisses start to trail down his jawline. "how do you want it to end?"

"i don't suppose they have bars in this elf world, do they? one where they can go on an actual date to before going back to the palace or whatever to ravage each other?"

eddie grins, tipping his head back to catch steve's lips one more time in a slow kiss. "i can arrange for them to go to the tavern. i think they'd both like that."

the next morning, slightly hungover and draped over each other in steve's way too large bed, eddie ignores a text from nancy asking why the names change halfway through the draft and wondering who the fuck steve is. eddie silences his phone and goes back to sleep, so glad that he didn't double check his first message yesterday for typos.

#HI this got long so i will be posting it to ao3 #shoutout to mickala and alice for turning me into this monster #pls excuse any and all typos because i wrote this at work and just want to go home #steddie #my writing #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie drabble #steddie ficlet #steddie fic #steddie smut #modern steddie #steddie au

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my-castles-crumbling · 1 month

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eyeliner - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 440 - NSFW but not explicit (stripper!Regulus, anyone?)

James wasn't sure how he'd ended up here. Somehow, Marlene's entire bachelorette party had migrated to the strip club, where scantily-clad dancers moved suggestively, and Peter had already taken three shots of tequila.

James stared around, eyes a bit glazed from the alcohol, not looking for anything in particular, contemplating challenging Pete to take another shot when he saw him-

An angel.

He moved across the room like he was floating, dark hair falling in loose waves over his kohl-covered eyes, matching black satin lingerie covering perfectly slim milky-white skin scrawled with tattoos.

James reached out to slap his hand against whoever was sitting next to him, hardly daring to look away.

"Ow! James, what?" Dorcas's voice yelped.

"Something to write with. Quick," James muttered, voice rough, eyes still glued.

"Erm...I only have-"

"Whatever you have," James nodded, still craning his neck to stare.

Not bothering to look at the pencil in his hand, he began to move as soon as he closed it in his fingers, chasing the man he set his sights on.

And with absolutely no finesse, he tapped him on the shoulder, nearly choking on his own spit when he realized that he had the most beautiful grey eyes on the planet.

After an awkward moment of silence, during which the piercing eyes looked him up and down, the man asked in a low, bored voice, "Want to dance? It'll cost you."

"No-no. Just a date," James forced out, still begging his brain to catch up.

The man scoffed. "What kind of person do you think I-"

Realizing how it sounded, James corrected himself. "A real date. Dinner. A movie. You- you're lovely."

Thin fingers pushed a strand of black hair away from eyes that stared at him suspiciously. "Yeah?"

"Yes. Please," James nodded. "Can I have your number?" He held up the pencil as he asked.

But the man smirked. "Eyeliner?"

Doing a double-take, he looked at the pencil only to realize it was eyeliner. "Fuck. Sorry, I-"

"No problem," the man replied softly, snatching the pencil from him and holding his hand firmly.

How was it so sensual? Suddenly, the man was carefully, slowly writing on his arm with the dark pencil, the sensation of it drawing goosebumps and fire from James's skin. He almost drooled, watching the way the man bit his lip in concentration as he drew letters and numbers across his skin.

"Call me," the man whispered after a moment, handing the pencil back. He turned before James could say a word, giving him a wonderful view of the g-string he wore.

"Fuck," James murmured, looking down at his skin.

Edit: Marlene and Dorcas are having a joint Bachelorette party, guys. Sorry for the confusion!

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e-spexially · 3 months

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cowboy like me

pairing: billy the kid x lucy gray baird

summary: "sure would have been nice to meet you under different circumstances."

ib: these two edits by @lg.baird and @beatrixsfx on tiktok

note: this is purely self-indulgent, I saw these and felt SO angsty and inspired :(

The saloon was nicer than most that Billy had entered in the past. Smoke danced in the air and the room was dimly lit by the oil lamps placed on each table, giving the entire room a dreamy haze.

They even had live music. Not the kind where drunk men played the piano or gave some warbled rendition of an old folk tune, either. No, up on stage was a band. Two young women and two young men, playing instruments that appeared well cared for. The one singing looked to be the youngest of the bunch, blonde and fresh with her vocals.

It was a fast-paced melody and the already tipsy men and women of the saloon were on their feet in the small clearing between the tables that served as a dancefloor.

Billy walked up to the bar and bought himself a drink, trying to blend into the crowd. The music was a breath of fresh air from the constant drone of the outdoors he had been spending his time in lately. Being on the run was tiring and it was nice to finally sit in a real chair, surrounded by other people.

As he hunched over his drink, considering a game of poker, the song ended with a wave of applause, and the blonde girl spoke out to the crowd.

"Alright, y'all! For this next number, help me give a big, warm welcome to my cousin, Lucy Gray Baird!"

The blonde's energy was infectious and her request drew more applause from the crowd, even Billy. He supposed the group must have been well known, but he was out of the loop these days.

Then something unexpected happened. Onstage, walked one of the prettiest girls Billy had ever laid eyes on. Lucy Gray Baird was a dark-haired beauty, with a sweet smile and an air of confidence. His attention was hers without the girl even having to try. But then again, so was everyone else's. More applause rang out as she shot the crowd a smile, delicately cradling her shining, black guitar.

"Evenin', everyone!" She said to them in a melodic voice. "I hope y'all are enjoyin' the night so far. For this song, I'm gonna slow things down a bit and give everyone the chance to hold that special someone a little bit closer."

Billy felt the need to sit up straighter, to show that he was giving her performance the respect it deserved. And it truly did.

Everyone's born as clean as a whistle

As fresh as a daisy and not a bit crazy

Staying that way's a hard row for hoeing

As rough as a briar,

Like walking through fire

As Lucy Gray sang, he realized his father had been wrong before. The stars weren't a reflection of his own light, but hers. He'd spent countless hours staring at the night sky and he'd never met anyone that made him feel the way that view did. Not until tonight.

People were dancing, just as she had hoped. They held each other and swayed to the simple tune. She watched them proudly with a bright smile, as though her intention was merely to create the noise that seemed to move them, not be their sole focus. But he just couldn't help focusing on her, he couldn't look away. Her dark eyes scanned the crowd and Billy felt his heart skip a beat.

This world, it's dark

This world, it's scary

I've taken some hits, so no wonder I'm wary

It's why I need you

You're as pure as the driven snow

That's when they locked gazes with each other and the haze of the room matched the one he was feeling. Lucy Gray smiled a little wider when this happened and something inside him wondered if she knew what he was feeling. Did she? Or, better yet, did she feel it too?

The song continued and then ended, too quickly. She sang two more, their eyes meeting again and again. His drink was gone, the poker game long forgotten as well. Once her set reached its close, she immersed herself in the crowd with another young woman, the others onstage keeping the atmosphere going. Billy watched Lucy Gray being praised by many for her songs and smiled to himself.

She really deserved it. His leg bounced anxiously and the air felt electric, like something was fixing to happen. He knew what Jesse would say if he was here.

"Better make your move now, kid. 'Fore someone beats you to it."

Billy inhaled sharply, trying to give himself a boost of confidence. He suddenly felt thankful that he decided to wash before leaving the rooming house that night. Giving the bar a quick tap, he rose to his feet and made his way through the crowd to her.

She was in the middle of speaking to the women about her dress when he walked up, excusing himself and hoping she didn't find him rude for interrupting.

"Good evening." He held his hat against his chest. Lucy Gray stared up at him with a curious glimmer in her eye, catching sight of the pistol around his waist momentarily. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I was hoping I could buy you a drink?"

She looked pleasantly sheepish. Exchanging a quick word with the other women, she nodded.

"I don't see why not."

He breathed a sigh of relief and gestured for her to go first, setting his hat back atop his head. He didn't have much money left, but spending it on her felt like the right choice.

Purchasing two whiskeys, he handed her one and watched as she perched on the stool.

"I'm sorry, I didn't get your name," she spoke, taking a sip.

"Right," said the man, wiping his hand on his pants before extending it, as if he were afraid to get her dirty. "I'm Billy."

Lucy Gray smiled and shook his hand. It sent a jolt right through him and he averted his eyes for a moment. She stared at him thoughtfully, resting the whiskey glass against her shoulder.

"Are you enjoyin' the show, Billy?"

"Oh yeah," he replied, hoping he didn't sound too eager. "I liked that first song of yours, the one about the snow."

She looked pleased by this and he could tell she liked speaking about her music.

"Really? I'm glad to hear it!" Sipping her whiskey, she had an excited, almost nostalgic look in her eye. "I wrote that one a few months back when we were still up north. It snowed all the time up there and it just got me to feelin' inspired."

Billy leaned against the bar, taking in the smokiness of her voice. He could listen to her talk forever.

"Up north? You travel a lot?"

Lucy Gray nodded.

"Us Covey travel wherever the fancy takes us," she said. "We spent a good while doin' shows to keep ourselves fed and moved around until we needed more money. Then this fella named Jones picked us up somewhere in Sacramento and said he'd help us get our very own tour through the lower United States."

Moving from state to state by choice was a luxury he couldn't fathom. Ever since he was a boy, moving had been about survival. Billy thought he'd like to live a life like Lucy Gray's, to see the world of his own accord and not because he was running from something. He finished off his whiskey.

"That sounds nice, just bein' free," he mused, mainly to himself. This earned a head tilt from her and her mouth turned up in a small smile.

"I figured cowboys were as free as they come." That made him laugh and he set the glass down.

"I'm no cowboy."

"Well, you sure look the part," joked Lucy Gray. She looked around the saloon at the crowd and then her eyes found the dancefloor. "Hey, how 'bout a dance?"

Billy looked over his shoulder at the patrons slow dancing, feeling a bit more bold on account of the drinks he'd had. He glanced back at her and held out his hand.

"I don't see why not."

She drank the last of her whiskey before letting him lead her out onto the floor. He pulled her a bit closer, his hand finding her waist and hers his shoulder. Something about her demanded to be seen, to be admired. He might not have been the smartest when it came to women, but he knew from the start that she had all the control. What's more, he wasn't even sure it was intentional, but he knew he liked it.

As they danced, she studied his face a bit more.

"You're that outlaw, aren't you?" Billy felt his face flush and looked around for a moment before she laughed. "Don't worry, I wouldn't say anythin'. Not before I heard your story, anyways."

"My story?"

"Sure, everyone's got one." He pondered this for a moment, giving her a shrug.

"S'not exactly the kind people like to hear," he admitted. "It's got lots of sad bits."

"Well, those kinds of stories make the best songs." Lucy Gray looked up at him through her eyelashes. He wondered what his life would sound like through her pen, if she'd be able to take something dark like that and make it beautiful.

Maybe he'd tell her another time. He hoped there would be another time.

"I'll tell it to you someday." It felt like a promise, mainly to himself, that he'd see her again.

"I hope you will." She seemed content to let it rest at that for now. "Those posters don't do you justice, y'know? You're much more handsome up close."

A soft blush appeared on his face and he laughed it off.

"I'm sorry you had to see those, they're not exactly a likeness."

"You're right," she said gently. "I expected someone much scarier, the way people talk about you."

Billy's heart sank a bit at that. He hoped she hadn't heard anything too bad and if it was the truth being passed around, he only hoped she wouldn't judge him for it.

"I hope you'll give me a chance to prove that m'not so scary."

"Don't worry, gorgeous, I don't scare easily." He chuckled and she leaned in a bit. "This is the part where you spin me."

"Yes ma'am," the man drawled, obliging by holding onto her fingertips and twirling her around. Lucy Gray moved gracefully and she gave off the scent of fresh linen with a hint of wildflowers. He imagined her traveling through a field of them somewhere, carrying her guitar in one hand and a suitcase of all her belongings in the other.

What did she take with her? Were there pictures, family heirlooms she held dear enough to carry on her travels? Billy thought back to his mother's gold ring that rested in his pack back in the room he was renting. Did Lucy Gray have anything that precious to her?

She giggled as she spun back into him, bringing that field of flowers right with her. He maneuvered her around into a smooth circle around him before wrapping an arm around her torso.

"You're not bad on the dancefloor for an outlaw!" She said.

"All that time on the run, you get good on your feet," he joked. He savored the laughter that left her chest. It felt genuine and warm, just like her.

The song ended and she went to hold his hands in her own, smiling up at him as the crowd began thinning, the blonde on stage announced that the band would be heading out for the night.

"Thank you for this, Billy," beamed Lucy Gray. "It's just been wonderful."

He nodded earnestly, hoping he had made an impression.

"No, thank you. I can't remember the last time I had a drink and a dance with a nice girl, especially one as pretty as you." Her eyes sparkled at that, almost like she didn't want it to end. He knew he didn't. "Could I walk you out?"

She agreed and they returned to the stage to retrieve Lucy Gray's guitar, along with the bottles of whiskey given by the owner for their work. Then they headed out behind the saloon with the rest of the band, the others buzzing in excitement about the energy of the audience.

"These Texans sure do like their dancing. And their bars!"

"I'll say, you see that man spinnin' his wife around? I thought they were both liable to topple over the way he was drinking!

They were walking in the direction of a small cabin that resided some yards away from the building, a lamp left on the dirt by the front step. It looked cozier than the rooming house for sure.

Billy stopped just as the band piled into the cabin, leaving the door open for Lucy Gray. He could hear the chatter continue from inside.

"Will I see you again? I'd sure like to hear another one of your songs."

"You might see me around. If you're on the run like you say you are, we'll cross paths again."

He hoped so. God, did he hope so.

"You have a lovely voice, my mother would have liked to hear you sing." Lucy Gray sensed the twinge of sadness in the tone and pressed her lips into a thin line.

"They're never far, the ones we love." She studied him for a moment before plucking the striped feather from her dark curls and holding it out to him. "Here, take this. Add some life into that hat of yours."

He huffed in amusement at the feather but took it and tucked it into the band of his old hat.

"How do I look?"

"Like a cowboy." Lucy Gray nodded approvingly. "I hope you could return it to me someday soon?"

"Oh, you bet."

"Good," she said. "You still owe me that story, William H. Bonney."

McCarty, Billy wanted to tell her. His name was McCarty.

"And then you still owe me a song," he replied lightly, deciding against it. Lucy Gray nodded, looking wistful.

"You got yourself a deal." She held her hand out to him and they stayed there for a moment, hands joined. Could he say goodbye? Did he even have a choice? Lucy Gray was free and he wasn't. Sure, he could have joined her on her travels, but no good came with moving alongside an outlaw.

No, none of that. For tonight, he'd let her go and pray that fate would bring them together again.

"Good night, Lucy Gray." He spoke first. She smiled up at him and gave his hand a single shake.

"Good night, Billy."

After that, he watched her walk into the cabin and shut the door, but not before giving him a final wink. Once she was out of sight, he let out a deep sigh. It felt like he'd just woken up from a dream, the good kind that you hope you have again.

Feeling his boldness leaving him and the night's activities taking their toll, he turned on his heel and started for the rooming house, humming Lucy Gray's song all the while.

#lucy gray baird #billy the kid #billy the kid x lucy gray baird #billy the kid x reader #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #tom blyth #rachel zegler #tom blyth x reader #coriolanus snow #needed this for personal reasons #take a shot every time i say hope #💌

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disposal-blueeee · 3 months

Text

stuff i never finished and why

hello and good night . i'm just gonna ramble about stuff so yeah

swings

oh man i really loved this drawing . but it was a PAIN IN THE ASS .

i had a bunch of problems with this one . i spent an embarrassing amount of time doing the line . then after i started painting it on Ibis paint i realized that i should've done the line with a textured brush .

then the background . i really couldn't make it look nice even if i tried . i spent so long just trying stuff and searching for references but i just couldn't get it right . the colors and the lightning kept looking weird .

and just when it was looking decent , oh no the file is corrupted !!! and if i wanted it back i would have to go through a speedpaint of a drawing that took me 28 hours ( i actually tried it 😭😭 but it was taking so long and after some time the app crashed )

so , i decided to just give up . i was already fed up with it . maybe some day i'll try to redraw it or something

edit : oh wait a second . this drawing makes no sense without the background . edgar looks like that because there's supposed to be a puddle under scriabin's swing and he's trying to get edgar wet with it

otgw x chapter 20 / 21

i just said i loved the other one but THIS ONE . this one is SO PRETTY and i was so excited to try some new brushes and overall just finish this . excited enough to start painting edgar without even finishing scriabin's line .

i was using a small tablet my friend let me borrow . it was actually so helpful because i could draw on my phone with it !! i used to work on this when i was at school .

then i started having problems with the background . again

then my friend told me that his mom didn't agree with him giving me the tablet and that he should give it to his sister instead so i had to give it back . great . at that point i didn't feel like finishing it so

random reference i found in pinterest

this is like a month old maybe ???? i just thought " oh this would be such a fire pfp " and after finishing the sketch i was like " alright i'll finish this tomorrow " ( i never finished it )

mostly didn't finish it because i didn't have any idea to make it look lifeless and tragic . oh well . maybe i'll try it someday i still think it's cool

papa's cheeseria

this one isn't really unfinished . i just wanted to make a doodle sheet but never drew anything else so now he's just there . alone in a blank space . poor guy .

so yeah . everytime i play papa louie's games i always make the workers look like edgar and scriabin . i thought this default outfit looked pretty cool so so i had to draw it

#there's probably more stuff to add here but i lost a bunch of files when i changed my pc :((#also i have another one i really wanted to add but it's oc related so so nope #i tried so hard with the swings one but after some time i just felt like the drawing expired ?????? somehow #like that just wasn't how i used to draw anymore . so i just gave up #the same thing happened with the otgw x 20 / 21 one and it makes me so SAD #i don't even know how that one popped in my head .#one day i just remembered over the garden wall existed thanks to a friend posting some art about it #and idk i just had to draw them like wirt and greg #anyways back to rambling about my life woohoo #i'm i'm doing so bad rn #but let's pretend i'm not . alright #this year will be tough .#vargas #vargas zarla #scriabin vargas #zarla s #edgar vargas #sunny's rambles

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theratlivinginyourcouchcushions · 3 months

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Equivalence AU Mabel ideas!

I wanted to experiment with God!zar(?) Mabel, bc I hadn’t seen any designs for it yet. I was also going to try drawing Mabel in her super-demon-y form, (which is apparently blinding white with abyss for eyes and tiny burning pupils) but was two invested in the outfit to really lean into it.

Now for some of my headcannons!

While drawing Mabel, I started thinking about her bird wings, and what kind of traits she might have similar to animals (like dipper and cats) and then it hit me. BIRDS.

An entire class of animals characterized by their ability to DEFY GRAVITY FOR HOURS TO DAYS AT A TIME. (And the ones that don’t are pretty cool too) and I got to thinking about how cool birds are, to achieve this through nothing but MILLIONS of years of evolution. (My thoughts on this are not very organized, but I hope you get the gist.) so anyway, what cool things do birds do, and wouldn’t it be cool if Mabel did them too?

Mating dance. Since it’s pretty much canon that Mizar is still alloromantic and allosexual, wouldn’t it be goofy if she would do a funky little dance when trying to ask people out? (She definitely did this for Henry as soon as she was corporeal for him)

Roosting. Basically making nests in high places out of things she likes, probably perches in it to preen her feathers. (I originally had a similar hc for Alcor, but whatever, they’re demons. But maybe he roosts like a bat instead:) )

Preening. She has a set of ridges under her lip (in front of her gums) for preening her feathers. Her loved ones have little tools to mimic them, and help her get hard-to-reach places. (She often falls asleep during this, similar to Dipper with his hair.)

Migration. I’m still not super organized with this one, but she might try to take off during the winter for long periods of time before coming back, or maybe just circling around to get out energy. Either that or she just tells people that she’s flying south for the winter when she doesn’t want to hang out with them. (This was also a hc meant for Dipper, but now I’m wondering if he tries to hibernate during winter.)

So those were my Equivalence AU headcannons, now for the design choices I made!

I talked a little bit about them at the start, but I still want to talk about it so, here we go!

The fashion was all based on @that-ghosts-art / @that-ghost-pal ‘s Mabel/Mizar designs, and I was very happy for the chance to test out different fashion styles, as well as the braid and shifting tattoos. (For the tattoos I just drew whatever I felt like at the time, and I added a scorpion barb at the end of the braid just for fun.) I added gold-tipped feathers to the wings, and some extra pink bits in her eyes (except for the angry one) I also gave her a crown instead of a top hat.

For God!zar(?) I tried to give her wings a more feather-y feeling than God!cor’s, and made the chest star more like her symbol on the cipher wheel. I muted the colors, and messed with her crown bc God!cor’s hat is a halo, and I didn’t want to copy that directly. I struggled with the hair color for a while before deciding to just bite the bullet, so please excuse any eye scorching color choices (It was originally planned for galaxy hair, but that was given to the wings, and I’m not great with overlapping colors)

Thanks for reading this far into my ramblings, and take a few moments to marvel at the existence of birds (and bats!)

Edit: I’m just now realizing that I forgot to draw the fire.

#transcendence au #Mizar the merciless #tau #theratlivinginyourcouchcushions #alcor the dreambender #Alcor and Mizar #art #gravity falls au #Equivalence AU #digital art #my art #gravity falls #Somebody PLEASE draw Mabel doing her dance for Henry #mabel x henry #the flock #Mabel Pines #I didn’t mean to use the God!zar picture with hair stars #try to ignore them pls #somebody draw Mabel’s birdie dance

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universitypenguin · 2 years

Text

Part V

The Princess & the Lawyer - Part Five

Summary: The morning after. Lloyd is called out by a friend. Princess learns of a disturbance last night in her apartment building.

Word Count: 3,758

Warnings: Mention of sexual activity including M/F/M dynamics, kink, and open relationships. Subtle hints of Lloyd’s traumatic childhood. Mention of harassment, stalking. Jokes making light of divorce, alimony, and speeding.

Author’s Note: A huge thank you to my beta reader, @nomadstucky for her help editing this chapter! You’re the best. Your feedback always keeps me motivated during the writing process.

Masterlist

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An irritating beam of sunlight made Lloyd groan. He rolled over and buried his head in the pillow. A moment later he pulled back, scowling.

This wasn’t his pillow.

His pillow was denser than this one, which was offensively fluffy. He turned his head and flinched away from the brightness. Throwing up his arm to block out the light, he glared at the open drapes.

The venetian blinds on the East window let in so much light that he’d installed black out curtains a day after moving in. He always closed them before bed. So why hadn’t he shut them last night? And why was he on the wrong side of the bed, with the fluffy pillow he hated?

Then he saw the woman lying in his spot.

You’d claimed his side of the bed, and his pillow. The blankets were a tangled mess, wound around you so that only your head peaked out. You were wrapped up like a mummy. You sighed, a breathy sound that assured him you were still asleep. Lloyd sat up and felt a chill in the air. He figured you’d stolen his covers when the air conditioning kicked on. The temperature, as much as the light, had woken him.

He eased out of bed and shut the curtains so you wouldn’t be bothered. When he looked down, there was a scrap of lace on the floor beside his foot.

Your panties.

Lloyd picked them up, along with your skirt. He hung the skirt in the closet to let out the wrinkles. The rest of your clothes were strewn near the door. He put them in the wash and then showered in the guest bath. In the middle of drying his hair, he realized he hadn’t shut off his alarm. Shit.

He fastened a towel around his hips and bolted for the bedroom. His phone was in the pocket of his trousers. Sure enough, he had set an alarm for seven-thirty. Lloyd disabled it and fired off a text in the group chat with Zach and the others, saying he wouldn’t make their nine a.m. tee time. He was brushing his teeth when a reply from Zach appeared.

Pussy. You just don’t want Blue Marsh to fuck up your handicap.

Lloyd tapped out a brief response.

Fuck you. I hope you hit every sand trap on the course.

He dried and styled his hair before switching your clothes to the dryer. On his way across the house, he collected a Gatorade and two ibuprofen. He sat the drink and pills next to you on his nightstand, stripped off his robe and crawled in beside you.

You were curled up, an extra pillow tucked under your arm, in the middle of the bed. The blankets were tangled even tighter around you. Without the warmth of his robe, Lloyd realized how chilly the room was. He kept the house cool during the summer months because he couldn’t sleep if he was too hot. You looked as if you were freezing.

He slid closer, trying not to disturb you. Within a minute, you were rooting for his warmth, pushing the blankets away and seeking out his skin. He drew the comforter up, adjusting it to cover your shoulder. You sighed into the pillow.

Lloyd tucked an arm behind his head, reclining against the headboard, and enjoyed your embrace. You were already warming up. The restless squirming had stopped, and you clung to him, plastering your body against his. He tucked the corner of the blanket around his waist to draw you a little closer. Your forehead pressed into his shoulder and your hand curled around his bicep.

There was a strong sense of disbelief that this was real. He wondered if he was dreaming, but knew his imagination wasn’t as vivid as this. Plus, he’d never have pegged you as a virgin. That detail was too much for his mind to have come up with, even in a dream. You tugged on him and shifted restlessly. Lloyd opened his arms and was thrilled when you curled into his chest. He felt like he’d died and gone to heaven. Sure, you were only using him for warmth, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You stretched, and groaned at the sting in your core the movement caused.

“Morning, Princess.”

Lloyd’s gravelly voice made you slit your eyes. They struggled to focus, still blurry with sleep. He was lying beside you, a mug of coffee in hand, watching you. The room was filled with sunlight, the curtains parted, blinds open, light pouring in. You covered your eyes.

“What time is it?”

“Nine-thirty.”

“Mmmhhh.”

Your eyes didn’t want to adjust to the light, and your head was pounding. Groaning, you rubbed your temples.

“I’m mildly hung over.”

“Gatorade and ibuprofen are on the nightstand.”

Sure enough, two pills and an orange bottle were perched on the end table. You swallowed them and drank half the bottle.

“Thank you.”

“Come on, you need to soak in a hot bath.”

You felt okay, but a few internal muscles were screaming in protest. Lloyd tossed off the blankets, stealing them from you in the process. You gasped, left naked by the movement. Lloyd threw a terry cloth robe at you.

“The bathtub in the guest room is big enough for two...”

You perked up, remembering the gorgeous copper bathtub you’d seen before when you’d stayed over. His guest room bathtub was worthy of being photographed for magazines. You’d never been bold enough to use it, opting for the shower instead. There had only been a few times you’d stayed over at Lloyd’s house. The first was after drinking too much eggnog at the firm’s holiday party, and the second when you’d celebrated a trial victory with an excessive amount of margaritas. Lloyd had driven to Georgetown at 2 a.m. to collect you from the party when Andy called him on your behalf.

You put in the robe and winced at the slight burn. The muscles at your entrance stung, and when you took a step, the deeper ones protested as well. It didn’t feel terrible, but there was discomfort. Lloyd had the bath running when you entered the room. He was stirring Epsom salts into the water and glanced over his shoulder when you shut the door.

“Still bleeding?”

“What?!”

The question took you off guard. You were shocked, then horrified. How did he know you’d bled, when you hadn’t even noticed? Lloyd put the Epsom salts on the counter and stepped into your space, grasping the robe’s lapels. You dropped your gaze to his chest.

He chuckled, released the cloth he’d been about to strip off, and took you in his arms.

“Don’t feel embarrassed. If I’d been more restrained, you’d have been fine.”

“I liked it.”

His arms squeezed tight.

“I enjoyed every minute of last night,” you said.

“So did I. Except for finding blood on the washcloth.”

You ducked into his chest. Lloyd patted your hip and reached for the belt of your robe.

“Ready?”

You stepped back this time and allowed him to slip the garment off. He hung it on the back of the door and surprised you by kneeling. You gasped when he lifted your right leg over his shoulder. Then his fingertips probed at your sex with gentle pressure. The touch hurt, making you hiss, as he stroked his thumb over the lower edge of the opening. You gasped when he continued carefully exploring the spot.

“Sorry, Princess. You’re not bleeding, and it only looks irritated.”

Your cheeks were on fire. He sounded way too clinical for your comfort.

“I’m fine, you can get up!”

Lloyd released your leg and stood.

“Settle down, Princess. I spent a lot more time exploring down there than anyone else has.”

“Can we stop talking about my vagina?”

Lloyd followed you to the bath and climbed in behind you. He circled an arm around your waist and helped you into the basin. It was a huge, long claw-foot bathtub made of copper. The space was a little narrow, but there was plenty of length to stretch out in. Lloyd reclined and adjusted your position between his legs. You let him guide you to lie against his chest. His hands wandered over your breasts, and you groaned when he teased a nipple.

“Sensitive?”

“Sore. Certain places react when you do that.”

“Mmmhhh.”

He backed off, moving his hands to your waist.

“What do you usually do on Saturday mornings?”

“Sleep. You?”

“Breakfast with Zach and Jake, then golf. I canceled today. How does brunch sound?”

“Perfect. I’m starving.”

You discussed restaurant options as Lloyd toyed with the ends of your hair and nuzzled your neck. It was amazing how affectionate he was in this setting. You found yourself jealous of his previous lovers. It was well known that he and Zach only dated recent divorcées, targeting the group least likely to seek out a long term relationship. If this was how Lloyd treated his one night stands, it was a miracle he didn’t have a waiting list.

“Why are you so tense?” Lloyd asked.

He rubbed your shoulders, thumbs digging into the tissue. You groaned.

“That feels good. Keep going.”

“Scoot forward.”

You did and were rewarded by his hands smoothing down your back and circling your shoulder blades, and then up to your neck. His clever hands found the knots and soreness and rubbed the muscles loose. You were aware of the hardness pressing at your back as you moaned in delight. You wanted him again. Before you could make a move, he pulled his hands away.

“Alright, brunch. Why don’t I lend you a shirt? Your clothes are still in the dryer. I hung up your skirt so the wrinkles would fall out.”

“Perfect.”

You had no doubt the triactate fabric would be pristine by now. Sure enough, it was as neat as if you’d just ironed it. Lloyd’s white Oxford shirt, knotted at the waist to fit your frame, made for a cute outfit. You wished for flat shoes as you slid into your work pumps, but resigned yourself to getting Saturday brunch in heels.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Three hours later, Lloyd was wondering how you’d gotten him here.

He was surrounded by lush greenery, staring at the blue tiled pool in the D.C Botanical Gardens conservatory. His arm was looped comfortably around your shoulders and you clasped his waist. You’d let him treat you to brunch, then dragged him to the mall for a pair of flat sandals, then to the national gallery of art to see their latest statue - a giant, blue rooster - and then, on to the gardens. Oddly enough, he was having fun. Even more so when you snuggled up to his side with a contented noise that made him want to purr.

“Well, well, what do we have here?”

Lloyd stiffened. He turned, already knowing who he’d find.

Sure enough, Zach Hightower, Jake Jensen, and Landon McAnanny stood with their arms crossed, staring.

“You two look cozy. How about some company?”

“Sure, have a seat,” you said, smiling at Zach.

Lloyd didn’t want company. He would have preferred Zach and his loud Texas accent disappeared from the garden… No, he wished Zach would disappear from the city entirely. All three of them could vanish, in fact. His wish went unfulfilled.

Instead, Landon dragged over a bistro table and two chairs. Zach dropped himself on the other end of the bench, right next to you. Landon and Jake sat down at the table.

“How’s it going, sweetheart? Did you haul this sourpuss out for some fresh air and his weekly senior citizen activities?” Zach asked.

“Isn’t that supposed to be golfing with you?”

Jake laughed, responding before Zach could answer. “I’m only a couple years older than you.”

Lloyd bristled at the speed of Jake’s comment. He’d been awfully quick to point out that he was closer to your age than the rest of them.

You giggled. “Of course, they need a designated driver if they’re going to be out at night. Eyesight is the first thing to go.”

Jake turned to Landon. “You’re the designated driver if we’re drinking though. That’s not a sacrifice I’m prepared to make.”

Zach leaned towards you, lowering his voice.

“We stopped him after two mimosas at breakfast and he still couldn’t keep it on the fairway.”

“I heard that,” Jake said.

Lloyd didn’t miss the way Jake’s eyes lingered on your calves as you crossed your legs. He liked the younger man, but wanted to blind him for the drool that was all but running down his chin. You mentioned a carnivorous plant on the other side of the greenhouse and Jake insisted you take him to see it. The pair of you got up and walked off, promising to be back in a moment.

Zach clicked his tongue, eyes fastening on Lloyd as soon as you were out of sight.

“So, you two finally got together. I owe Landon fifty bucks.”

Lloyd raised an eyebrow at the lean man with a scar down the right side of his face.

“Did he pay up yet?”

“Not until you confirm it,” Landon said.

“Well, then… no comment.”

“I noticed your girl was walking funny. Is that from last night, or this morning?” A crooked grin lifted one corner of his mouth as Lloyd’s eyes narrowed.

Zach laughed. “Lube is an essential, buddy. That wince is unmistakable. Fourchette tearing is a bitch…”

“How do you even know that?” Landon asked.

Zach shrugged. “I almost went to medical school.”

Lloyd was well aware the former Navy SEAL was more than just a good shot and a wall of muscle. It surprised him that Landon, a former teammate of Zach's, hadn’t known.

“Dr. Hightower, OBGYN?” Landon teased.

“Something like that. I thought you considered her off limits. What made you go for it?” Zach asked.

Lloyd rolled his eyes. “It was her move, not mine.”

In unison, the two ex-SEALs crowded with laughter. Landon slapped his knee and pointed at the blond man.

“That’s an extra twenty-five. Zach. Pay up.”

Lloyd held up his hand, palm open in a ‘stop’ gesture.

“But… I’m the one who sealed the deal. We agreed to an open ended arrangement.”

“Exclusive?”

Lloyd stiffened at the interest in Zach’s tone.

Even Landon raised an eyebrow. He had no idea about Zach and Lloyd’s history of sharing women. There was no reason for him to know. Landon was happily engaged to an adorable English girl, a junior banking executive, who’d moved continents for their relationship. He wasn’t part of the games Zach and Lloyd had played, nor would they have invited him. Or Jake, for that matter. Jensen was a former Green Beret, and a tough bastard in his own right, but he was as vanilla as they came.

“Yeah. We’re exclusive.”

Zach sighed and dug out his wallet to pay Landon seventy-five dollars.

Gravel crunched, and Lloyd looked up to see you walking alongside Jake, smiling up at him. The tall man was using his hands to illustrate a point as you listened intently.

He hated how good you looked together.

“She’d chew him up and spit him out,” Zach murmured.

Lloyd gave a curt nod and relaxed, because it was true. Landon shook his head.

“A no strings attached affair. I can’t believe she agreed to that.”

“Jealous?” Lloyd quipped.

Landon’s eyebrows raised and drew together, into a classic expression of pity. The emotion only lasted a split second before he covered it. Lloyd ground his molars and pushed down a surge of fury. He reminded himself that Landon’s world view was miles away from his, ergo the flash of pity. Some people were built for domesticity. To him it was an alien state. He’d made it past forty without being ensnared by that particular trap, and you couldn’t teach an old dog new tricks.

“I’d lock that down tight, if I were you. Jake’s panting after her, Zach all but asked for a piece of the action, and you’re content with an affair? She won’t stick around very long if that’s all you’re offering.”

Lloyd sneered, and Landon raised his hands in surrender.

“Hey, I call ‘em like I see ‘em.”

Lloyd arranged his face into a pleasant expression as you and Jake approached. When you sat down, he couldn’t help but draw you under his arm, away from Zach. Jake frowned, his eyes darting back and forth between the two of you, trying to make sense of the action. From the corner of his eye, Lloyd saw Landon smirk.

Zach launched into a dramatic retelling of how he’d scored a birdie on the 11th hole. You were the only one paying any attention to his story. Lloyd waited until he felt Jake’s eyes again. When he was certain the ex-beret was watching, he lifted your hand and brushed his lips over the back of your knuckles. Jake’s shoulders slumped.

The petty victory didn’t settle his nerves. Jealousy bubbled under the surface because he knew the claim he’d just made was futile. He was re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Landon was right - your affair was going to be a short one.

He had to make the most of it while he could.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You were tired as you climbed the stairs to your fourth floor apartment in the early evening. Lloyd had kissed you goodbye in the parking lot at work, where you’d collected your car and set out on an important errand. Birthday gift shopping for a one year old.

Your nephew celebrated his first year of life next Friday. You were excited to see him rip apart the cake with his hands. Alissa, his older sister, had refused to touch her cake when she turned one. She’d looked around expectantly until your sister cut it into neat little pieces for her. You had high expectations for Sam. He got into everything and was constantly making a mess. You were counting on him to produce some camera roll worthy moments on Friday.

On the fourth floor, you stepped into the hall. Then you squealed and jumped backwards. Your quick reflexes spared you a collision that surely would have sent you to the ER.

“Damn it, Mrs. Thompson! You’ve got to keep that thing under twenty miles an hour in the hall!”

The white haired woman laughed, a raspy sound, evidence of her smoker’s cough. It tapered off into a hacking fit. She wheeled her electric scooter around to face you. It was a shiny ‘racing green’ color, and she’d had it custom built from a factory in Japan. The name of the scooter’s color seemed to have inspired her driving style.

Her cough sounded worse than usual.

“Are you okay? Did they bump your oxygen up?”

“Yeah. It’s six liters now,” she said, and coughed. “I’m fine, though. Doctor said so himself.”

You shut the stairwell door and joined her for the walk to your respective apartments. Mrs. Thompson lived straight across the hall from you.

“How was your weekend?” you asked.

“It ain’t over yet! Ask me on Monday!”

“Fair enough.”

“Young people. The world goes too fast when you’re in your twenties. Listen to an old lady - don’t waste a second. Particularly not on men, they’re trash.”

You laughed. “How many divorces did it take you to come up with that?”

“Four. The last one was to prove the theory.”

“You’re a dedicated scientist, Mrs. Thompson.”

She grinned, flashing the gold incisor on the left side of her mouth.

“I figured you needed a lecture after that gentleman caller spent almost all night hammering down your door, shouting for you to take him back. What did you do to the boy?”

“My door? You must be mistaken. I wasn’t even home last night.”

“I thought that might be the case. I yelled at him to take that nonsense elsewhere, before I called the police. He scampered off real quick after that, so I didn’t get a good look at him. My eyes are terrible these days.”

“More cataracts?”

“No, just old age. You call your list of gentlemen and tell them you don’t need riff raff at all hours of the night. Your neighbors need their beauty sleep.”

“List of gentlemen?”

You were amused and flattered that she thought you had a list. It was a neat idea…

“Of course. You’ve got to date a lot to know what kind of man you can live with.”

“I thought men were trash.”

Mrs. Thompson leaned off her scooter and unlocked her door.

“They are, but alimony is a great retirement plan. Set your boyfriend straight, Princess.”

With a wink, she rolled inside and shut the door.

You put your package on the counter and went to the closest for wrapping paper. Gentlemen callers. Lists of men to ask for a date. What kind of world had Mrs. Thompson lived in? You were a bit jealous of the idea of having a Rolodex of men to call up and have dinner with on a whim.

The screaming man in the hall caused you some concern. He couldn’t have been here for you, though. You wracked your brain for an explanation. There was a woman who lived next door, but she’d just moved in. You couldn’t even think of her name. As you cut wrapping paper, your mind shifted to more pleasant thoughts. You smiled, tingling with residual excitement at the memory of your weekend with Lloyd.

As you worked, you opened the radio app on your phone to play while you wrapped the birthday present. The 80’s rock station was a current favorite and soon, you were humming along to Blondie as you cut and taped.

You had no idea that in a few weeks, you’d be re-telling the story Mrs. Thompson had shared with you to an officer at Metro. That wasn’t unusual. Victims never really know when this kind of crime begins.

Only their stalker knows.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

One way, or another, I'm gonna find ya

I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya

One way, or another, I'm gonna win ya

I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya

One way, or another, I'm gonna see ya

I'm gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya

One day, maybe next week

I'm gonna meet ya, I'm gonna meet ya, I'll meet ya

“One Way or Another,” Blondie (1978)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Next - Part VI

Masterlist

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#lloyd hansen x you #lloyd hansen x y/n #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen fanfiction #lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x female reader #lloyd hansen x fem!reader #the grey man fanfiction #the gray man fanfiction #chris evans character au #chris evans character fanfiction #chris evans characters #series: the princess & the lawyer #the princess and the lawyer #no minors #minors dni #part of a smut series - no minors allowed #18+ only

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animasola86 · 9 months

Text

The Darkness Within (Smut Edition) - Light

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!mc x Tom Riddle

Summary: When Genevieve dies at the end of the Battle of Hogwarts, Sebastian is driven mad with grief and sees only one way out of it: he has to bring her back, no matter what. He goes down the darkest path imaginable and in the end, it works, but not as he imagined - as he is suddenly transported to 62 years into the future. As is the love of his life. Until they finally meet again, both of them go down the opposite ends of the moral meter: one becomes an Auror and the other is charmed and influenced by none other than Tom Riddle, who is on the verge of gathering more and more people for his cause. Will they be able to rekindle their love, now that they are mortal enemies?

Genre: Angst/Smut/Dark!Romance

Warnings: Explicit sexual content. Auror vs Death Eater. Manipulation. Fluff.

Read more on AO3

If you're here for some smut+, please keep reading. If you like to know how they ended up like this, please read the previous chapters right here.

Excerpt of Chapter 7:

Why did she forget?

Her head started hurting as she kept screwing up her eyes, thinking hard. It didn't matter, did it? Tom's voice echoed inside her head. It doesn't matter, he had said. And he was right, of course he was. She should just get rid of this Auror and be done with it. But somehow she couldn't. Something drew her towards him, she couldn't help it. She started breathing heavier and shook her head, slowly walking towards the bed, sitting down and groaning loudly as she buried her face in her hands.

“Genevieve,” she heard his soft voice. “Genevieve, please. Let me help you.”

“How could you possibly help me?” she muttered into her palms.

“I could hold you, I could be there for you. You are not alone in this. I don't belong in this timeline either.” His voice was soothing and warm and she started to really like to hear him talk. As for what he said, she remained doubtful.

For one, she didn't need help. She had been fine these last years, she had enjoyed her life and the place and the purpose Tom Riddle had given her. It had filled her up completely. But then came this man, and from the shadows from which he had watched her he had lodged himself into her thoughts and was trying to claw himself into her heart as well, with his memories and his sad eyes and his deep voice. Telling her about a former life, a former love.

She breathed deeply and lowered her hands, slowly looking back to him. When she reached into her pocket and drew her wand, she saw him flinch a little. Her eyes lingered on him for another moment, before she looked at the rope wrapped around his chest. “Finite,” she whispered and watched how the ropes disappeared.

“Go then, report me, add me to your list,” she muttered, twirling her wand between her fingers, staring at it as if it might hold all the answers. “Do whatever you have to do. I don't care any more.”

She heard him get up from the chair and listened, but instead of him putting his clothes back on or straight up leaving through the door, he took two steps towards her and in the next moment he had pulled her to her feet and pressed her against his naked chest, holding her tightly. She gasped against him.

“What are you doing?” she breathed almost soundlessly.

“What I have to do,” he replied quietly, pulling her even closer by holding the back of her head with one hand and her lower back with the other.

His touches were warm and reassuring and she couldn't help but lean into them. She could feel his love radiating from him like heat from an open fire. He was so sure about his feelings for her, even after she had trampled it with her boots and her darkness. And she wished with all she had left that she could feel the same way. She wanted to love so badly.

She realized that was one thing she had missed those last seven years. Tom had been there for her, sure, accepting and comforting, but he never loved her the way she thought she had loved him. And perhaps it wasn't love, but gratitude she had felt towards him, perhaps a little crush because of his attention, but it hadn't been love. Tom Riddle couldn't love, she knew that somehow.

And suddenly she knew: she had loved before. Really loved, unconditionally loved someone, with all her heart, with all her being, with her entire soul. She must have, otherwise why was she longing for a feeling she had never experienced before? Why was she craving the touches of another man, a man she had only met today even, how was any of this possible if not for love? A long forgotten love...

She took a shuddering breath and placed her hands against his chest, gently pushing him away to look up at him. He was so freakishly tall compared to her. His eyes met hers and she looked long and hard at him, forcing the memories to come back. But of course that didn't work. Yet she was willing to try harder.

While her heart started to beat a little faster inside her chest, she kept pushing him backwards until he was sitting in the chair again. He raised an eyebrow at her, but neither complained nor protested. “No more ropes, please.” was all he said with a quiet chuckle.

She smiled at him and shook her head. “Don't worry. I want you to use your hands,” she replied in a low voice and started unclasping her cloak. It quickly joined his clothes on the floor and when she started unbuttoning her blouse, he suddenly stood up and walked towards her with helping hands. “No, not yet! Please, just sit and enjoy the show, alright?” she smirked and he complied, watching her with a curious little smile.

When she pulled the last button from its loop, she inhaled deeply and let her chest open her blouse for her, revealing the tight corset-type bodice she was wearing beneath. Her index finger ran all the way from the top down the long row of hooks until the stiff fabric met her belt, and she smirked pleasantly when she noticed his eyes following the movement. Slowly she started to undo the hooks (rather happy about the fact that fashion had gotten more convenient over the years, no more lacing and far less layers) and then she shook her hips slightly and the sleeveless corset simply slid down her curves and fell to the ground behind her, leaving her chest and stomach bare and unconstrained.

She decided to leave the black satin blouse on, for one she liked the feeling of the soft fabric on her skin, also she really didn't want him to see her left forearm. There would be a time and place for that revelation, but it wasn't now.

Walking closer to him, she grabbed his shoulders and pushed him gently against the back of the chair, before she sat down on his lap and watched him closely. His eyes couldn't decide between staring at her face and down at her newly exposed breasts and she smiled when she saw the little red splotches on his cheeks. “You can touch them, if you want,” she whispered and licked her lips. He looked at her, his eyes asking if it really was okay, and when she nodded, he raised a hand and gently closed his large palm around one of her breasts, firmly squeezing them.

“You've grown so much,” he muttered a little breathlessly and she laughed. “In all the right places anyway.” She laughed even more at that.

She watched him with a warm smile as he kept fondling her breasts, cupping them gently to groping them a little harder, his fingers grazing her soft skin and teasing the little buds peaking up ever so slightly. He was surprisingly kind in his movements, despite the hungry look inside his brown eyes. She let him continue his exploration of her chest a little longer, sighing deeply at his touches, before she grabbed his chin and made him look at her.

When she let her tongue slide gingerly over her lower lip as she stared at him, she noticed his eyes wandering towards her mouth, and without another word, they both leaned in at the same time and met in a passionate kiss. His hands moved up to her face and his long fingers dug into her hair, while his thumbs caressed her cheeks as he deepened the kiss by firmly pushing his tongue into her mouth. She mirrored his movements, forcing her jaw against his, really fighting for dominance over who could explore the other's mouth first.

Her hands found his messy hair and she grabbed it almost forcefully as he groaned into her mouth. While still glued to his lips, held by his hands, she sat up in a weird crouch and put her legs on either side of him, straddling him to get even closer. Her chest pushed against his and she really leaned into the kiss, feeling light-headed and eager for more at the same time. Her heart was accelerating fast and she couldn't help but feel very, very pleased with herself and the world around her.

He certainly had a way of making a girl feel special.

And she wished even more she could remember him. Sighing breathlessly against him, her arms lazily crossed behind his head as she leaned against him and into the kiss, a sudden warmth crossed her heart and this whole situation felt weirdly familiar, like a déjà-vu. Was it because she wanted to remember it or did she actually remember something like this? She didn't know and she didn't concern herself too much with it, instead she kissed him more and deeper and let her mind wander, as she focused on the urges of her body.

When his hands grabbed her waist and kneaded her skin gently, she leaned back slightly, trying to catch her breath as her lips hovered above his, her eyes meeting his in a heated gaze. “Want to take this somewhere else?” she whispered sultry, her voice a little hoarse.

He smiled widely at her and suddenly he stood, grabbing her rear in the process, lifting her up easily as she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, and she laughed and felt like a teenager again, far away from the worries of the world. His mouth found her neck as he carried her towards the bed and gently sat her down on the edge. There she sat, her legs trembling a little under the anticipation, and watched him closely. His hands found her thighs and as he knelt down in front of her, he squeezed them lightly, then pushed her legs apart.

Her trousers felt even tighter than they already were and she couldn't wait to be freed of them. But he wouldn't help her with that just yet. Instead his hands slid up and down her thighs, his long fingers grazing the outer edge, while his thumbs caressed the more sensitive inner side. She leaned back on her arms and watched him, her chest rising and falling faster. His eyes were on her face the entire time and she blushed slightly under the intense desire in his gaze.

He smiled softly and his hands moved upwards, until his thumbs gently pressed against her centre. She felt the blood pumping violently against the tightness of her trousers, her middle positively aflame already. He breathed harder when he started moving his index finger up and down the tight fabric, pushing it firmly against her, activating all the nerves waiting to be stimulated beneath. She let out a soft moan and arched her head back, closing her eyes in the process.

He rubbed her for a moment longer, while one of his hands moved up to her belt. With quick, capable fingers he unbuckled it, then started to unbutton her trousers. As she leaned against his touch, slightly grinding her hips against the firm pressure of his finger, his now free hand moved up and closed around her right breast, squeezing it demandingly. She exhaled loudly and looked at him, biting her lip. He looked right back, his gaze dark and intense.

As if communicating without words, he then grabbed her waist firmly with both hands and in the next moment, as she lifted her body up a little, he pushed her trousers off her hips and down her legs, his hands following the curve of her body. As the fabric gathered around her shins, he looked down and chuckled deeply. “Should have thought about the boots,” she heard him mutter and she laughed lightly. He quickly unlaced her leather boots and threw them through the room once he had pulled them off, then continued removing her trousers.

And then she sat on the edge of the bed in nothing but her satin blouse covering her shoulders and arms. He looked at her, still crouched in front of her, and raised an eyebrow. “No panties, huh?” he commented and she smiled slyly, slowly crossing her legs and leaning them away from him. “Oh, no need to be modest now, darling,” he smirked and gently, but firmly grabbed her thighs, loosening them and pulling them apart again as he stood up and leaned over her. One of his hands found her face and he pulled her towards him for a quick, but heated kiss, leaving her breathlessly and wanting more.

“Say, you told me we were close, real close, right?” she asked quietly as he leaned back again and watched her curiously. “Have we...” She didn't have to finish the question and he nodded softly. “We have.” She looked at him and felt a little overwhelmed by all the sensations coursing through her body, mostly by how her heart fluttered with him so close. “Can you talk me through our... first time?” she then asked in a whisper and he frowned a little at that, but then smiled warmly. “Of course,” he said and sat down next to her on the bed.

His arm wrapped around her shoulder as he pulled her against his side and she cradled against him as if she really belonged there. It certainly felt like it. Her body fit perfectly against his. She looked up. “Well, needless to say we were very nervous. Both of us had never done it before,” he said in a low tone, his voice vibrating through her body as he spoke. She absorbed every word. “But I knew you trusted me and vice versa and then we just... started touching each other.” He laughed a little nervously and she smiled at the innocent sound.

“Like how?” she pressed and bit her lip.

“Like this...” he replied and his hand moved down her stomach between her legs.

He didn't hesitate at all when he cupped his entire palm around her warm centre, his long fingers grazing her soft folds and his thumb gently stroking the blush of hair above it. She inhaled sharply and closed her eyes, leaning against him. He continued touching her most sensitive area, his hand moving up and down slowly, gently pressing and squeezing and rubbing. She felt her warmth pooling just behind his touch and when he started moving individual fingers through her folds, she heard just how warm and wet she was down there from the almost vulgar noises his movements caused. A moan escaped her and she had to snake her arm around his waist to hold onto him, her fingernails digging into his firm skin.

He turned his head and kissed her cheek, distracting her from the fact that he started to press his fingertips firmly against her entrance. She looked up and kissed him back, then her lips found his and while she pressed her tongue into his mouth, he pressed one finger into her. She moaned loudly against him as he moved his digit deeper and deeper, curling it slightly as he moved his hand down to angle it better against her. While he did that, she could feel his thumb moving around the little bundle of nerves inches away from where his finger was exploring her insides, and when he pressed against it firmly, she actually flinched and squeaked against his mouth.

She had already been so worked up that a single touch had been enough to make her heart jump against her chest at the sensation. He rubbed her quicker and she breathed against him heavily, her free hand clawing at the bed sheets beside her. He slipped another finger inside her and kept a steady pace of moving his digits in and out of her, gently stretching her as he did so. She moaned against him and kissed him breathlessly, holding onto him helplessly as he worked her centre.

Just before she felt her insides convulsing slightly, as the first wave of pleasure came crashing down on her hard, he retrieved his fingers and even let go of her as he slipped off the bed and knelt down between her legs. She stared at him restlessly, her chest rising and falling fast as she watched him. His eyes darted up and the intensity of his gaze made her blush deeply. He looked about ready to devour her. And when he did, she fell flat on her back and kicked her legs around him. His face was pressed tightly to her centre, his mouth glued to the bundle of nerves, his tongue licking and sucking on the sensitive skin, pushing up folds and really going down on her nub as if there was nothing else in the world.

She moaned loudly as he slipped his fingers back inside, going from one straight to three this time, and he pumped his hand back and forth, in and out, in a steady, fast rhythm, the new angle causing her to shiver deeply as moan after moan slipped from her open mouth. Her hands felt around helplessly and one found the top of his head and she forcefully grabbed his hair, pushing him down even further as she rocked her hips against him. Stars danced behind her eyelids as she pressed herself into the mattress, her legs trembling against his shoulders, her toes curling up violently.

The high came like a herd of trampling horses, like the screeching of a boiling tea kettle, like a flock of crows dispersing into the night with a frantic flutter. His mouth was hot on her skin and his fingers worked tirelessly against her and she felt him spreading them inside, stretching her walls as her orgasm clenched them around him. She was still riding the high, her hips grinding slowly, her hands falling loosely to her sides, her whole body twitching in pleasure, when his touches suddenly disappeared.

Before she could question his loss, she heard the rustle of fabric and then he was leaning over her, his face so close to her that she could feel his hot breath on her lips, and when she lazily opened an eye, she saw him smiling. The next moment he had pushed himself deeply into her still convulsing channel and she moaned loudly at the sensation. Her hands found his back and she dug her fingernails into his skin as he positioned himself above her, leaning on his arms as he kept moving his hips against her, slow at first, really slow as he slid really deep, with her walls still contracting around him, before he fell into a steady rhythm and every thrust caused her to groan deeply.

His own rapid breaths hit her cheek as she turned her face to the side, trying to breathe through the sensations, with her heart drumming against her ribcage and her entire body tensed and relaxed at the same time. It was a constant up and down between the tiniest of pains as he drove himself really deep and fast into her, and the biggest of pleasures when he moved away again. She somehow found the strength to lift her legs and wrap them tightly around his waist, the movement causing him to slip even further in as she pressed him tighter against her.

His deep moan echoed inside her head, and she opened her eyes and looked at him and was surprised and a little shocked to see him watching her closely, his brown eyes half-lidded, but never leaving her face. His lips were parted and he was really working all the muscles in his body. She relaxed her grip on his shoulders and gently snaked her arms back to place her hands around his face, pulling him closer to her for a passionate kiss. Soon they just pressed their foreheads together and breathed loudly against each other as their steady rhythm made the headboard of the bed slam against the wall behind it.

When she felt the next wave of pleasure approaching (or was it still the first one and she kept on riding it? She didn't know and she didn't care...), she held onto his neck and moaned into his mouth, rocking her hips up against him quickly, crossing her feet behind his back to keep him in place. She felt the pleasure spread from where their bodies were tightly connected, her walls convulsing almost painfully around him, her breaths erratic, barely sounding human at this point any more. She held onto him and when she reached the peak, she let out a deep, soft scream, arching her back into the mattress, pulling his upper body forcefully against hers, his weight only adding to the sensation as he fell on top of her.

Their lower bodies continued their rhythm, as his hands found the sides of her face and he gently caressed her cheeks, despite the rapid motion of his hips. She leaned up and kissed him deeply, savouring every little touch and taste of him. When her heart had slowed down enough for her to be able to move a little more again, she looked into his eyes and smirked, then, with a swift sideways motion, she used the weight of his body to roll around on the bed until his back was pressed to the mattress and she sat up on top of him, his length driving up into her with yet another painful, yet blissful sensation.

She leaned her head back and her long hair fell over her shoulders as she issued a loud moan, her knees firmly placed on either side of his waist as she started to move up and down slowly, her breasts bouncing slightly with every movement. She watched him closely as he stared at her out of dark, lustful eyes. His hands found her hips and he kneaded the soft flesh firmly as he helped her move against him. The more she was grinding against him, the more familiar this whole encounter felt. Eerily familiar. As if they had never done anything else. She smiled at the thought and tried to imagine the teenagers they used to be, exploring each other's body at any given moment.

Her hands moved up his chest and she felt the way the muscles tensed inside his abdomen as he worked his hips against her, and she felt his rapid heartbeat as she pressed her palms onto his skin, and when she closed a hand around his throat she felt him swallowing hard against the sensation. Her fingers tightened around his neck and she looked at him hungrily and he looked back just as ravenously as he licked his lips and bared his teeth to her when she squeezed his throat. She smiled darkly and when his breath halted, she felt his arms loosen their grip on her hip, but instead of gasping for air, he suddenly sat up and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, her elbows pressed against his chest as he started pumping up into her forcefully.

She quickly melted into the sensation and couldn't do anything but moan, her fingers helplessly grazing the skin of his neck as he held her close, working through his last remaining strength frantically as his own moans became louder around her. He was close, she could tell, and she tried her best to help get to where she had been a couple of times now. Their hips moved rapidly against each other, every thrust causing her to whimper and moan, her vision blurry from all the air that went out but not in. He groaned deeply as he pressed his body against hers, his arms in a deadlock around her, his motions became frantic and devilishly fast – and then a shudder broke from the middle of his body and he halted abruptly, and she felt him twitch within her, his warmth quickly spreading inside of her, filling her up completely.

He slowly resumed his pumping motion, his head resting on her shoulder as he did so, as both their bodies shivered through the sensations. His breath was hot and erratic and she moved her hands around him and gently stroked his back in soothing circles, leaning against him, savouring the last moments before they eventually had to come down from their highs again. His movements slowed and she heard him sigh deeply, then his lips were pressed against her shoulder. And then he just slumped backwards, falling onto the bed with a heavy thud, and as she was still holding him, she fell with him and laughed softly as she rocked against him one more time.

They remained lying like this for a long moment, while her midst was still twitching viciously and his length was still warm within her. Her legs felt a little numb. His hands wandered up her body then and firmly grabbed onto her rear, gently kneading the soft flesh, his long fingers pulling her cheeks apart slightly as they did so. She chuckled at his inability to just relax and leaned up a little to look at him. He was watching her out of tired, half-lidded eyes and when she smiled at him with her cheeks blushed deeply, he smirked back at her.

She leaned down to kiss him softly, her lips slowly moving from his cheeks to his jawline and over to his earlobe. There she planted a couple of small kisses and then whispered: “Thank you for this, Sebastian.”

He stopped his kneading of her rear and froze. “Did you remember?”

She inhaled deeply, kissed his earlobe again and nuzzled her nose against his hair. “No,” she then said honestly, feeling his sigh long before she heard it. “But I wish I would. I am clearly missing out on more of this...”

He laughed quietly at her answer and she knew he was disappointed, but when he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her closely, she felt like he started to accept it.

(Read more on AO3)

Another little excerpt (Chapter 6) can be found here.

Pictures credit: @sebswebs (Sebastian) @the-slytherin-paramour (Sebastian) @esolean (Tom) @zimmerfarn (redhead)

Notes:

I had a little chat with @seabass-swallows Auror Sebastian chat bot and he inspired me to write this story. Thank you for tickling my creative juices!

With one eye closed you could also see this as the (possible) sequel to my very slow-burn, fluffy, tame af HL re-write story Diary of a Snake Lover (this fic does reference some parts of it).

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thepaintedlady00 · 1 year

Text

Nightshade

Chapter 12 | Chapter 14

Chapter 13: Pas de Deux

TW: I know nothing about dancing, this chapter is flashback heavy, so there are lots of painful and kind of intense memories, panic attacks, depictions of violence, references to past drug use, mentions of abuse and neglect, Lena's mom sucks, Olive's the worst, Simone's just as bad as always, some classic hurt & comfort vibes, loving siblings, the emotions in this chapter are intense, and another slight cliffie to send y'all to the grave! Y'all know the drill. I edited this quick, so there might be some mistakes!

“One two three, one two three, one two three.” I mouthed the words with her as I meticulously molded my body into the correct positions with the rest of the group. My mother's stick slapped hard against my wrist. “Keep your hands soft, Lena.”

Soft hands, I repeated to myself, blinking through the sting of pain and softening my upper body. Be like a leaf in a gentle breeze, soft, light, and graceful. The boy next to me snorted back, laughter catching my glare. He was my age, maybe a year or two older, with curly blonde hair and bright amber-brown eyes that sparkled in the light reflecting in the mirrors. He was handsome, but his smile truly drew me in. Wide and unhidden as he chuckled again, meeting my harsh glare with soft eyes. “Tes cheveux ressemblent à du feu.”

“What?” I asked, still struggling with my French.

“Your hair,” he pointed at the bright red locks. “It looks like fire.”

Self-consciously I smoothed my hands over my head, pulling the loose strands away from my face. “I guess.”

The boy smiled. “I like it.”

I laughed nervously at his comment, not used to anyone complimenting me on my hair or, well, anything. “Thanks.”

He held his hand out. “I am François.”

I took it reluctantly. “I’m Lena.”

“Leeennnaaa,” he dragged out with a brilliant smile. “A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”

My face burned as I turned away from him with a fraction of a smile. “I’d say I’m pretty average looking.”

François made a noise as he scooted closer to me. “Nonsense! Do you know how many people I’ve met that are average looking? Hundreds. You are not average in any sense, I would guess.”

Mother's stick slapped down onto his shoulder, but to my surprise, he merely exhaled a sharp breath and smiled wider. “Apologies, Mistress Glover.”

She gave me a stern look, her lips thinning into that familiar disappointed line. “Practice makes perfect. Tell me, how do you two intend to be perfect if you waste your time on idle chatting?”

“Perfection can be achieved in many ways," François replied. “It’s all a matter of what task you’re trying to perfect.”

“From now on, that task will be the routine. Am I clear?”

“Cristal, Maîtresse Gantier.” When she moved on, raising her stick to strike another student, François chuckled, nudging me with his shoulder. “She is a bit of a tight ass, no?”

I couldn’t contain the laugh that bubbled out of my throat. “My mother is a woman of a singular focus.”

“Ta mère?” He sighed. “I apologize for my crudeness, Mademoiselle Glover. I did not realize the shrew - Mistress was your mother.”

“It’s Harrow. Lena Harrow. I have my father's last name.” I smiled at him. “And it’s alright. The… shrew can be rather intense.”

He laughed, warm and bright and full of life. The sound sent a wave of something odd through me… it made me feel happy just hearing it. “Will you dance with me, oiseau de feu?”

“Oiseau de feu?” I repeated with furrowed brows, looking over at the half-finished poster. L'Oiseau de feu. “Like the show?”

“Oui, I assume you are playing the Firebird?”

I shrugged. “I guess.”

“This is good! For I am the mighty Prince Ivan!” François spun away, stopping to offer me his hand. “Now, dance with me mon précieux oiseau de feu!”

I wanted to dance for the first time since my mother began teaching me ballet. Taking his hand and letting him spin me into the intricate movements I’d been practicing night and day for months felt fun. Being part of the show no longer felt like a crushing weight on my back but rather a chance to dance with François, the boy that thought I was beautiful just as I was, even with the bumps and scrapes and bruises and blinding red hair. For the first time in my life, I felt seen and appreciated. For the first time, I cherished the nickname he’d given me and wanted to hear him call me it again. His Precious Firebird.

My body hummed with a lingering feeling of peace and a minor stiffness in my neck that slowly eased me into waking. When my heavy lids opened to the unfamiliar room, my heart stopped. Blinking slowly, I instantly took note of the hotel furniture and the impersonal paintings on the walls, and pure terror filled my gut. No. I let out a choked breath trying to move… to find a way out of here, but a weight settled across my waist and stopped me. My hand slid down, feeling across the back of the hand that had settled beneath my breasts. Soft skin, unmarred by the scar, I knew the man I feared had.

In the distance, I heard the soft voices of Quinn and Ari as they walked down the hall together, and the previous night came flooding back to me with a deep breath of relief filling my lungs. I was safe. My palm flattened against the back of his hand. Jake. Tears stung my eyes, and my lips quivered as I relaxed into the stiff mattress, too soft pillows and against Jake’s chest. His body was curled around mine, the arm tightly keeping me against him as he snored softly.

As soon as I settled, he began to stir, making soft noises of sleep, burying his head in my hair, and rubbing his nose against my ear. The erratic and near-painful pounding of my heart in my chest slowed. I drifted back to sleep, surrounded by his cologne and smoke. Safe.

I had no idea how long I slept, nor did I particularly care as I slowly woke to Jake's thumb smoothing along my skin as his hand flattened against my chest. Surprisingly he didn't utilize the position of his hand beneath my shirt to touch my boobs. Instead, his hand stayed firmly in place, gently rubbing my skin as he breathed deeply, face still buried in my hair. I smiled, remembering his confession about the way I smelled. "At this point, I should just buy you the perfume I use."

His chuckle shook the bed as he moved his lips to my ear. "It wouldn't smell nearly as good as you do."

"That's creepy," I teased. "You gonna cook me up and eat me?"

"I'm a shit cook," he replied. "I'll have Scott do it."

"Scott would tell you to fuck off."

Jake laughed, nodding his heart slightly. "Probably."

I stretched, pushing back into him slightly and cherishing the low groan that rumbled from his chest as my ass ground back into his morning wood. “Fuck.”

Smirking at him over my shoulder, I bit back a chuckle. “Sorry.”

“Yeah right,” he breathed out, pulling his hand from beneath my shirt and moving to allow me to roll onto my back. “You just like riling me up.”

“In my defense, you are really easy to get riled up,” I answered. “Which is ironic considering how you claim to be so good at this kind of thing.”

Jake tilted his head and raised a brow. “Was last night not enough of a demonstration for you?”

“It was… informative.”

“Informative?” He scoffed. “I think the word you’re thinking of is mindblowing.”

I rolled my eyes. “I think that’d be overselling it a bit.”

The blue in his eyes was darker than usual as he moved to hover over me. "Do you want some more attention, princess?"

"Depends. What kind of attention will I get this time?"

Jake was quick to offer up both a physical and verbal reply. His thumb brushed over my nipple, gently working the small bud until it was perked between his fingers. "I had quite the dream last night. My head, between your thighs, edging you until you were shaking… Begging for me to fuck you."

I tried to hide how his words affected me, but between his deep, sensual voice and his fingers rolling and pulling at my nipple, it was impossible to hold in the sharp gasp of blissful anticipation. "That doesn't sound like something I'd do."

He chuckled, face dipping lower until his lips caressed mine. "I enjoy a good challenge."

"Wakey, wakey!" Sasha's voice was louder than the door's slam hitting the wall. Jake and I stirred quickly, grumbling and glaring at him as he skipped into the room and hopped onto the bed. He pulled at the covers, trying to peek beneath them. "I see you are both still dressed!"

"Sasha fuck off!" Jake growled, grabbing a pillow from his side of the bed and hitting the Russian with it.

He giggled, sliding off the bed to kneel next to me. "Oohh, so grumpy! Sorry, dear Jakey, you had your chance to get your little cock wet last month. Now I need to keep you two celibate until after Halloween!"

“Why the sudden change of heart?” I asked.

“Because I don’t want those smug little cunts to win a cent.” Sasah grinned ear to ear. “You understand, don’t you, Tiger?”

Shoving his face away from me, I sat up next to Jake, who glared at the Russian lying on the floor. "Think I'm with grumpy on this one."

"Very well," Sasha humphed. "Strip yourselves and attack each other. I will watch!" Jake rolled his eyes and stood, picking the Russian up and ushering him toward the door. Sasha giggled in delight, eyes staring at Jake's crotch. "Oh, she did get you excited!"

The door slammed in Sasha's face, and Jake sighed, seeing one up and out of bed. I smiled, toying with the chain around his neck. "I think we'll have to explore your wet dream later. Raincheck?"

"I'll hold you to it."

"Aww, are you feeling riled up, pretty boy?" I taunted.

He grinned, pulling me in close, grinding himself against my hip. "Keep the jokes coming, princess. I'll remember each one when I'm edging you."

"I enjoy a challenge."

After showering, I bribed Prue into sneaking me a turtleneck from Quinn's stash of clothes to hide the area of discolored hickeys that covered my neck and chest. I knew it would still be obvious to everyone, but I decided to try to preserve some sense of privacy as I joined the others downstairs. Ari grinned wide. "I know what that outfit means. Let me see!"

I smacked her hands away, effectively twisting out of Quinn's reach. "You two are obsessed!"

When Jake finally finished showering and joined us, clothed in his usual t-shirt, jeans, and leather jacket, the group practically jumped on top of him. “Morning, Jakey!”

“Morning,” he grumbled.

“I see some claw marks,” Ari purred, wiggling her eyebrows at Jake. “Did you two finally light a fire with all that sexual tension?”

Sasha threw his arm around Jake’s shoulder with a smug smile. “No, they did not! I made sure of it!”

Ari shook her head. “You can’t seriously think you’ll be able to stop these two from doing it all the way til Halloween.”

“I can, and I will!” He insisted. “Laws of attraction.”

She rolled her eyes, groaning as she returned to Quinn's side. “Not this shit again.”

“Did you sleep okay, Lena?” Prue asked from where she and Will sat, curled into each other on the couch.

I blushed a bit and shrugged, both signing and saying, “I had some trouble at first, but yeah… I slept pretty good.”

“Pretty good?” Jake asked with a smirk. “By the way, you were… snoring I’d say it was more than just pretty good.”

“It could have been better.” I shrugged.

Quinn sipped her coffee and sighed. “We’re not stupid. We know you two are talking about whatever sexual favors you exchanged last night.”

Before I could offer up any argument, all our phones buzzed. Will sighed. “That can’t be good.”

Change of plans this morning. Meet outside the restaurant, and dress for a field trip. - Howard.

“Another field trip?” Ari whined.

I glanced at everyone’s slightly sullen faces. “What’s going on?”

Jake shook his head, taking a quick bite of a small muffin. “Howard’s gone off the rails again.”

“Well, let's go see what he has in store this time,” Scott groaned.

Heather made a face and shook her head. “God, I hope it’s not a pig again.”

I squinted at Jake as we followed the group to the elevator. Ari and Will hung back to give their partners goodbye kisses. “You guys went on a field trip to see a pig?”

“It was more to watch a pig bleed out,” he explained. “Definitely one of Howard's more fucked up changes.”

“Holy shit. Glad I wasn’t there for that.”

Ari laughed. “Well, the one upside to that morning was getting to hear Will’s gag scream.”

Will shook her hands off him. “I told you I was probably allergic to the hay or something.”

“Yeah, okay,” Heather replied.

Sasha shook his head. “I am still upset Howard chose the one morning I wasn’t going to be there to traumatize everyone.”

"You still gotta have fun after running around with the feet." Will noted.

"God you guys are disgusting," Scott complained.

22West was blocked from view by a large bus when we arrived. Howard and the others stood on the sidewalk, speaking quietly among themselves. Simone smiled, waving Jake to her side to quietly speak with him. Howard greeted everyone with a smile. "Good morning, Changelings."

"Morning Howard," we replied.

"Today is a special day. A very moving and beautiful new show is opening to the public. Tonight we'll be having many dining with us that are well-versed in this field, and so the owner and I agree that a trip to the ballet is in everyone's best interest."

Our eyes locked, and the pitiful look lingering on his face told me that my fear was rightly placed. My breath caught in my throat, bringing an aching burn to my chest as I looked away. The noise surrounding me blurred together as I boarded the bus, sitting in the very back and staring out the window. From a few rows up, sitting beside Simone, Jake turned and looked back at me a few times. The concern in his eyes only made me feel more anxious about this field trip, and the constant talking from our coworkers didn’t help.

They'd all been horrified at the sight of a pig being led to slaughter; little did they know they were doing it again. The only difference was I was the pig, and whatever my mother had in store was the blade she'd intended to bleed me dry with. I knew the road to the theatre by heart. Every bump and every stop. When the large courtyard came into view with the majestic fountain covering up the words hanging over the door of the boxy building with large windows.

Everyone else was eager to get off the crowded bus, leaving me to slowly make my way to the front, where Howard waited for me. He offered up his hand, a friendly gesture meant to be an olive branch between us, but I walked past him, not even entertaining the thought of forgiveness. Jake stayed close to Simone but seemed to walk slowly as if wanting to wait for me to get off the bus before he committed to following everyone else inside.

The soft echoes of classical music swept through the lobby as the staff greeted us sweetly. The memories of this place… the faint voice that scolded over the music… it all brought me to a halt. I would have turned and run if it weren’t for Howard's hand on my back, silently urging me to keep moving forward. Anger crawled up my spine as I shoved away from his touch. Fucking coward. Striding forward with my head high, I followed the group as the staff ushered them through the doors and into the darkened theatre.

A host of dancers occupied the stage, dressed in simple practice tights as they leaped and spun through mothers quick movements. “One, two, three. One, two, three,” Her voice sent a cold chill straight into my veins as we filed loosely into the seats and watched the remainder of their routine. Once the dancers relaxed, lightly stretching out their stiff limbs, mother clapped. “Perfection! Absolute perfection, my little dancers! Tonight is going to be a glorious opening, all thanks to you.”

“Ms. Glover,” a smaller, familiar voice called to her from the crowd. Olive stood next to the stage, looking up at my mother with a smile. “The 22West party has arrived.”

“Thank you, Olivia.” My hands tingled as reality settled into my brain. All this time… Olive had never been just another hire. I turned and looked at Howard, who now refused to meet my gaze. All this time, she’d been working for my mother. What was her goal? To sabotage me and force me to come crawling back to her?

“Of course, Ms. Glover,” she replied, eyes meeting mine for a moment, flashing with envy and deep-rooted anger that stretched far beyond some half-assed mission to keep tabs on me.

My mother looked the same, her long half-curled blonde hair neatly pulled back into an elegant ponytail with her red stained lips curved into a smile I now knew was fake. “Lena,” she purred. “It is so good to see you, little one.”

From my seat, I continued to glare. “What do you want?”

“So forward,” she laughed. “As always.”

“We can do the back and forth if you really want to,” I offered coldly. “But something tells me you have no interest in looking bad in front of all these people.”

She shook her head and spread her arms wide. “Welcome to our humble theatre. My sister, your boss, has told me so much about all of you. As has my assistant, whom you’ve met. Olivia, please introduce yourself properly.”

The girl turned and smiled at everyone, no longer the meek little thing she’d been posing as. “Hello. So sorry for the deception, but my employer was worried if she reached out to her… daughter… directly, things would get unnecessarily complicated.” I bit my lip to keep in the loud scoff as she set her hand against her chest, eyes locking on Jake. “I’m Oliva, and it’s been an honor to work beside all of you.”

“This is creep city,” Sasha whispered somewhere in the crowd.

“Simone,” mother said softly as she smiled down into the crowd. “It is so lovely to finally have a face to imagine after all these months of speaking. I’m glad you could make it.”

The blonde-haired woman cleared her throat and chuckled, placing a hand on Jake’s shoulder as he looked at her with confused eyes. At least that meant he had no idea that this was going to happen. “It is an honor to finally meet you, Jen.”

Refocusing on me, mother tilted her head to the side. “I’m not a monster, Lena. Despite what you’ve chosen to believe.”

“What. Do. You. Want.” I ground out.

“My dancers have been working so hard to perfect this piece. I fear the Pas de Deux is falling a bit short.” Gesturing to the side where Olive now held a small set of practice clothes, she continued, “I was hoping you would be able to show them how it’s done.”

"I'm the last person you want on that stage, and we both know it," I replied, glaring at her.

Mother scoffed. "Nonsense! Out of everyone in this room, you, little one, are the only one capable of showing these children how it's done." Her smile was just as cold as I'd remembered it. "After all, you excelled at the dance for two. Though, I suppose, that very well could have been your partner's talent."

My hands curled into the arms of my seat at the low and effective blow. "Or maybe it was the relentless beatings encouraging me to remember the steps."

"Come, Lena. Dance."

I could see the finality of it in her eyes as she stared me down. She wasn’t going to let this go, and knowing her, she was prepared to drag this out… to keep everyone here until I complied with her command. With one deep breath out through my nose, I stood, walked to Olive’s side and grabbed the clothes out of her hands, and headed to the bathroom to change into one of the spare practice tights and pre-distressed shoes.

The stage was silent when I returned, save the gossiping whispers of my coworkers, who were now cast in darkness as the stage lights blinded me. I stood in front of my mother and shrugged. “What piece?”

“One you are more than familiar with.” I knew then and there exactly what her hope was. Pain. “Demetri,” she called the tall boy forward. “You’ll be dancing with her. Focus on the feel of the dance, not just the steps but the emotion behind the piece.”

The soft tune of Swan Lake’s “Love Duet” filled the theatre, and I felt my heart stop beating for a moment. Her cruelty knew no bounds as I carefully placed myself in the correct position and played along with her game. Demetri’s hand took mine, and a cold wave of remorse and a deep feeling of betrayal filled my lungs as he pulled me up into the dance for two François and I never got to have. We moved well together, my body remembering every step and every formation of its own accord despite not having practiced for almost two months. The sting of pain that settled in my toes was worse than it would have been if I’d kept practicing, but right now, I didn’t care.

Demetri dipped me back, carefully contorting my spine. The lights made me feel dizzy as they swirled in my vision, and as I was pulled back up, I was suddenly thirteen again. And the stranger that had dipped me wasn't a stranger anymore, but rather the wild fourteen-year-old boy whose smile filled my world with sunlight. He grinned at me, pulling me in close with a wink. "Don't worry, Précieuse. I won't let you mess up."

I breathed a sigh of relief, melting into his arms and letting him guide me through the steps. "François."

He smiled wider. "Hold onto me, my firebird, and feel the dance!"

“I’m a swan now,” I corrected him.

“A flaming swan,” he chuckled. “What imagery!”

The light curls on his head bounced as he twisted and twirled, lifting me high into the air and never faltering. His sunlight was the only thing that seemed to break through the storm clouds that were my mother and her stick. François was good, far better than I deserved, yet he chose me to dance with every day, even after our roles were gone. A weight lifted off my shoulders as we moved together in our new Pas de Deux.

We danced through the entire routine before the face in front of mine shifted back. A stranger stared back at me. Brown hair and face void of all laughter and smiling. Not, François. Tears filled my eyes as the two of us turned and bowed to the now-clapping crowd. I could feel my hands shaking, could feel the heavy breaths I drew inward, but I had no way of stopping it. All I could focus on was not letting the tears in my eyes fall.

Mother didn’t clap as she dismissed Demetri with a wave. “That was sloppy.” There it is. “You were far too stiff, and your limbs to flimsy.”

“Well, sadly, we don’t have access to a boat,” I told her. “So you’ll have to think of some other way to punish me for my laziness.”

Shaking her head, she sighed. “I am so disappointed. All the work we did, all the years we spent perfecting you… wasted.”

Grinding my teeth together, I shrugged, trying to remain unphased by her words. “This is the life I’ve chosen for myself.”

“Life?” She hissed in French. “These tattoos and the lowly position in that damn restaurant is hardly a life.” Taking a step forward, she brushed my hair away from my neck, examining the hickeys Jake had left there only an hour or so ago with a tight look. “All these years later, and you still insist on parading yourself around this city like some common whore. What would Anthony think?”

“He can choke on his opinions,” I sneered back.

The slap was something I saw coming, but judging by the sharp gasps that filled the darkened crowd, my coworkers hadn’t. “Don’t you dare insult him! That man offered you everything, and you threw it all away. Because of what? Some small bruises here and there?”

I straightened up, blinking away the tears. “We both know you’ll have to hit me a lot harder than that.”

“Such a child,” she whispered. “What would your father think if he could see you now?”

“He’d tell me to spit in your face and tell you to go to hell.” I breathed out a ragged breath. “And then he’d take me home, and we’d celebrate finally being rid of you.”

“Are you rid of me, little one?” She purred in French. “Or have you simply not realized how deeply you still need me?”

“I don’t regret leaving,” I told her firmly. “I never will.”

“We will see.”

Turning quickly, I started to head back toward the bathroom when the loud thumping of a cane striking the floor stopped me, and a head of curly blonde hair emerged from behind the curtains. François… He looked so different, older but no less handsome. His eyes watched me, sorrow and pain and everything left unspoken between us raging within them. The memory of that night hummed between us, a painful and powerful force that made me wish I’d never come here again.

Tony’s hand tightened painfully around mine, crushing my palms against the gun's metal. He kept his aim steady even as my hands shook uncontrollably. “Please don’t do this…” I sobbed, staring at François’ bleeding and swollen face as Tony’s men dragged him to his feet. “I’ll do anything! Please, Tony, just let him go!”

“It’s too late for all that, baby girl. Now it’s time to face the consequences of your actions.”

François groaned, “Bâtard.”

I could feel Tony’s smile against my ear. “Pull the trigger, Lena.”

Dread filled my gut with the strong urge to vomit. “N… No… I…”

Tony’s fingers forced mine over the trigger, slowly increasing the weight behind them and pushing my smaller, weaker fingers down on the trigger. “Pull. The. Trigger.”

“Please,” I begged him, tears nearly blinding me. “Please… I’m sorry! I’m sorry, Tony, I won’t do it again. I promise just-”

“PULL THE TRIGGER!”

I couldn’t fight him as he forced his finger down the rest of the way, and the trigger pulled back. The gunshot was louder than I thought it’d be, but the kick of the gun made me scream. I focused on the scarlet liquid covering the pavement as the two men holding François up let him fall. As the pained wails followed, his body hit the ground with a sickening sound. The blood poured from his knee, rushing through his fingers like rivers as he turned onto his back.

All I could do was stand there, in Tony’s too-tight grip, as François… my friend… the boy I thought the world of, cried out in pain. “This is what happens when you refuse my kindness, Lena. All of this… is your doing.”

He let go of me, letting me rush forward to kneel beside the wounded boy. “François!”

“My leg…” he cried out. “My… my leg…”

I pressed my hands to his knee, choking back sobs as his pained wails echoed around us. I tried to comfort him… tried to tell him everything would be alright, but I knew it was a lie. Finally, Tony clicked his tongue and kicked my leg. "Get up."

My heart hammered in my chest as my eyes clouded over with fat, blurry tears. "I… I…" I’m sorry. I wanted to offer up to console him. I love you. I wanted to admit out loud, at least once, before he…

"Don't leave me," he begged through his cries. "Do not leave me here, Précieuse."

With a scoff, Tony’s hand twisted in my hair. "I said get up!" The too-familiar sting of him pulling me by my roots exploded across my scalp as he tore me from the boy lying in his own blood. I cried out as he threw me against the red and white sports car parked at the mouth of the alley. My head cracked against the cold metal, vision swimming as I looked back.

"Précieuse…" He gasped, turned, and reached out toward me. "Lena, please!"

Tony shoved me into the passenger seat and quickly pulled out of the alleyway onto the busy road. The city lights bled together, distorted in the falling drops of rain. I looked down at my hands covered in blood - the blood of the boy I had grown to love and that I thought could somehow love me in return - and breathed out a sharp sob. "Shut up," Tony growled, throwing me a silk handkerchief. "Clean yourself up, and don't you dare puke in my car."

"Are… Are you going to kill him?" I stuttered, shakily following his command.

He laughed, a sound that brought a cold chill down my spine. "There are worse things than dying, baby girl. You'd best remember that the next time you wanna get friendly with idiot boys." His hand settled onto my thigh, squeezing so hard it hurt. "You belong to me, and it’d be in your best interest not to forget that again. We’re going home.”

Home. I thought of my father and brothers… Ozzy, Quinn, and even Dom. I want to go home, I admitted, as more tears streamed down my cheeks. But I couldn’t, and now that I was here… now that Tony had me, I knew deep in my gut that I wouldn’t see home or those I loved again.

My eyes fixed on the leg that I’d not seen since I visited him in the hospital after, and then I looked at the cane he held in a tight grip. “There are worse things than dying.” I bowed my head, offering him the only thing he’d ever asked of me as I shakily walked past him and out the door. Once I’d slid into the bathroom, the tears I’d held back began to fall. I settled against the wall, slowly dropping myself to the floor when the door opened.

Ari slid through the door, spotting me on the floor with furrowed brows and an understanding look. Without a word, she joined me, curling an arm around my side and pulling me into her embrace. “Let it all out, tiger.”

I sobbed into her shoulder, unleashing all the pain that the morning had unearthed from inside me. She and I weren’t the closest friends, but at that moment, I was thankful it had been her to find me. Ari understood what it felt like to have a parent like my mother, or at least she understood enough. As we sat beside one another until my tears stopped flowing, Ari ran her fingers through my hair and gently reassured me that I wasn’t alone.

“Thanks,” I whispered to her as we pulled apart, and I fixed myself in the mirror.

She set her chin on my shoulder and smiled sadly. “Fuck your mom.” With a quick kiss on my cheek, she turned to leave. “I’ll wait for you outside. We can sit together on the bus.”

True to her word Ari waited. She walked back to the bus with me, holding my hand as we slid through the tight aisle and sat near the back. Simone had taken the front seat, alone and looking stoic. Jake sat a row behind us with Heather, but his eyes were glued to me the whole ride back, and remained that way in the locker room while everyone quietly changed for the night of service ahead of us.

He waited until we were alone to turn, closing his locker as he did, and say, “I didn’t know Simone had been talking to your mom.”

“I know,” I assured him.

“Are you…” he stopped himself, likely realizing how asking me if I was okay was a stupid question. “What can I do?”

I closed my locker and turned to him. “You don’t have to do anything, Jake.”

“I want to help,” he admitted.

“You are helping. Just by being here… asking me this, you’re helping.”

He shook his head. “Doesn’t feel like it’s enough.”

I wrapped my arms around him, giving him a quick hug. “I know, but it is. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it, princess.”

The night was shockingly calm as service came and went without a hitch. Before I knew it, I was gathering my things and telling Jake I’d meet him down by the bar. It was then when I was alone, that Howard cleared his throat and entered the locker room. “Lena…”

“Don’t.” I turned and glared at him. “I don’t want some half-assed apology, Howard. Especially not from you.”

“I didn’t have a choice, Lena.”

“Yes, you did. You could have said no.” I shook my head and scoffed. “Going to observe a ballet rehearsal has nothing to do with fine dining or our guests. You knew this was a fucking ploy to get me in the same room as her, and you did it anyway!” Moving to stand closer to him, I clenched my jaw. “You’re a weak, spineless, sniveling excuse for a man… a fucking coward.”

Each step I took down the stairs was filled with a cool-tempered need to run, to get as far from this city as I possibly could. I turned to the alley door, ignoring the familiar shouts of my name as Jake followed close behind me. Go, my body hummed. Run.

“Lena!” Jake called out, rushing to catch up to me and block me from leaving the alley.

"Get out of my way Jake."

"Just slow down for one minute," he breathed out, taking hold of my shoulders. "Fuck the cape. Remember?"

"Jake..." A weak noise tore through my throat. “I…”

His hands framed my face gently. "Hey, hey, look at me." I followed his quiet plea and looked into his eyes... Eyes so blue I thought for a moment I would drown in them. "Don't run. Stay." He pressed his forehead against mine. "Stay with me."

"And do what?" I cried. "Force you to sit in this pity party with me?"

"Come with me," he urged, taking my hand and carefully pulling me along. "Come on, princess, just indulge me."

We walked hand in hand a few blocks up to an old movie theatre, where Jake smiled down at my confused face and led me inside. “We’re going to a movie?”

He nodded. “You too good for the movies?”

“No, but I thought you’d find them childish.”

“It’s a good way to distract yourself,” he replied. “I used to go to the movies a lot when Simone lived in France.”

“She lived in France?” I asked. “Funny, I guess I just can’t imagine her outside of the restaurant.”

Jake shrugged. “She was miserable there, though she won’t admit it. It was a hard time for me… I needed to distract myself a lot.”

I squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Besides, tonight is about distracting you. So, pick a movie.”

Staring at the posters advertising the movies they had, I hummed. “You pick.”

He grinned. “You sure? I don’t know if you’ll like what I choose.”

“I’m sure,” I insisted. “Surprise me, grump.”

“Okay, just remember you asked for it.”

The urgent desire to flee had simmered into a passing thought now as I watched Jake pay for the tickets and snacks. If Quinn saw us, she’d say this was a date. Which it wasn’t. This was two friends watching a movie. Jake nodded me toward the hallway leading back into the showing rooms and carefully took hold of my hand once we entered the darkened theatre. He led us all the way up the stairs to the very back of the room, moving through the aisle to get the perfect middle seats before he plopped down and got comfortable.

It was relatively empty, with one a few people scattered about the theatre watching the ads on the screen. “What did you choose?” I asked, leaning in close so he’d hear me.

“The Entrance. It’s some kind of demon horror film.”

“Oh,” I made a face which in turn made Jake chuckle.

“Told you.”

I rolled my eyes at him, settling back in my seat. “I’m fine with horror.”

He nodded. “Uh-huh, well, my hands always here if you need something to hold onto, princess.”

“God, you’re annoying.”

The film wasn’t anything too horrible, but I found myself leaning into Jake’s side, bringing my knees up to my chest with his leather jacket draped over me to give myself a discrete way to hide if I needed to. Jake knew, of course, but said nothing as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder when things got too intense. It was only when we were nearing the end of the film that I realized his plan had worked. The urge to run off to some nowhere town was gone, replaced by an anxious feeling that came with watching horror films and a warmth that came with Jake holding me.

I turned my head and looked up at him, admiring the way he watched the movie with a look of wonder. He noticed me staring and turned his head, lips quirking up into a smile. “What?”

“Thank you,” I whispered back. “For coming after me.”

“What else would I have done? We pinky swore.”

I shoved him with a hand to the chest. “I’m serious. I… I would have gone back if you hadn’t of thought of this. So, thanks.”

Jake held my hand to his chest and smiled. “You're welcome.”

The movie played as we stared at one another, overexaggerated screams and demonic noises filling the theatre, and yet all I could see was him as he leaned forward and dipped his head down to capture my lips. His jacket slid off my legs as I turned my body toward him, pushing back against him. It had felt like ages since we’d kissed when I knew it was only a few days prior. But god, his lips were far more addictive than any drug I’d had. They moved against mine, desperate and wanting, demanding me to meet his quick pace, and I did.

Jake’s hand slid up my arm and buried it in my hair while the other grabbed my thigh, pulling it into his lap. I groaned quietly, opening my mouth to his eager tongue. Both of us seemed content to ignore the end of the movie as we made out in the back row like two teenagers. It wasn’t until the lights turned on that we found it in ourselves to separate.

“You’ve never seen Ghostbusters?” I shrieked on the walk home.

“I haven’t,” he repeated. “Is that weird?”

“YES!” I laughed. “It’s a classic!”

Our shoulders brushed as we walked through the crowded sidewalks until my apartment came into view ahead of us. “You gonna invite me to stay the night?”

I looked up at him. “What makes you think I was gonna do that?”

"You kissed me back."

"So?" I offered him a half-nervous smirk. "I'm still not going to sleep with you."

Jake rolled his eyes. "No?"

"Nope."

"Why not?" He asked with a quirked brow. "We've done pretty much everything else."

I looked back out at the bright city lights ahead of us, the chilled breeze stinging my face. Before I could even think, I answered him, "Because the second I do all this ends. No more tag. No more sarcastic quips. No more walks home. No more Jake." The silence that followed felt like a punch to the gut, a feeling that spurred me into talking more. I bumped into him lightly. "Believe it or not, I like you. I don't wanna lose this."

Jake didn't reply for a while, and honestly, I didn't expect him to.. "So what you're saying is you like me too much to fuck me?"

I laughed, "I guess."

He bumped me back and quietly admitted, "I like you too." When I looked up at him, he smiled, tight and nervous. "I like you too much to fuck this up."

"So don't," I advised as we reached my apartment, where Ryker stood by the steps. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jake nodded to the biker, quickly noticing the others that stood across the street. “I’m guessing this guard detail is because of the rock?”

Scratching the back of my head, I nodded. “Yeah, Dom’s kind of overprotective.”

“Or he just knows how dangerous a freak with a rock can be.”

“Hey,” I touched his face softly. “Don’t worry about me. I’m good.”

He answered with a tight smile. “I’d hope so with six bikers on your block.”

My legs carried me up the stairs, waving to Ryker. “Hey, Ry.”

“Hey, Lee,” he replied.

I turned and smiled at Jake. “Goodnight, Jerky Jake.”

He shook his head, feigning annoyance. "Night, Lana.”

The next day was hell. The restaurant was flooded with guests who seemed to be in the worst mood. Everyone was scrambling, everyone but Simone and Olive. The two worked in perfect harmony, outshining everyone in the front room and gaining the guest's favor. It was infuriating. Each time I ran ice back to the bar or grabbed someone a bottle of wine, I saw their smug smiles and overly polite, fake tones. All this time, they’d been working together to try and get me so fed up I’d quit, and honestly, now that I knew, it felt so obvious.

How did I miss that? I asked myself. I used to be so observant when it came to threats like this. Jake smiled at me from behind the bar, and the answer to my unasked question had been clear. I’d been distracted. So much so that I missed the deception right in front of me. Still, I gave the night everything I had, running ice to the bar and cooking beside Scott, and washing dishes with Santos. No matter how much I did, I couldn’t shake the way Simone and Olive’s smug faces made me feel.

After shift drinks came like an answered prayer as I sat down beside Sasha and smiled at Jake. “What did you make me tonight?”

Sliding the glass of amber liquid to me, he smirked. “Just a simple Manhattan tonight.”

“With a cherry,” I said, plucking the small fruit out of my drink. “How thoughtful.”

Olive slid into the seat to my right, leaning over the bar to touch Jake's arm. “I’ll have what she’s having.”

Jake gave me a quick look before he moved to gather the things he needed. “Something you needed, Olive?”

“I just wanted to sit with you.” She hummed. “It feels different than I thought it would.”

“I didn’t know sitting with someone was supposed to make you feel things.”

Olive examined her nails and shrugged. “I mean, you’re kind of a legend. Your mother raves about how talented you are.”

I took a long drink. “That doesn’t sound like her.”

“She also talks at length about your laziness and poor attitude.”

“That sounds right.”

Olive’s face turned sour. “She loves you so much.”

“She’s not capable of loving anyone but herself,” I told her coldly.

“You ungrateful bitch,” Olive sneered. “You constantly insult your mother with this… sad excuse of a life. You tarnish the name of a man that gave you everything. It’s like you don’t understand how fucking lucky you are!”

My jaw clenched as the fire in my lungs grew uncontainable. I turned my head with a humorless laugh, ignoring Isaac’s desperate attempts to get my attention from across the bar. “Lucky? Is that what you think I am?”

Olive didn’t back down, something I might’ve respected if she’d not touched every last nerve. “I know that’s what you are.”

“Luck didn’t teach me to play the piano. I spent hours playing keys until my fingers bled. Luck didn’t magically make me memorize her dance moves. I stayed up for four days straight practicing until I had to peel off my fucking toenails.” I stood, towering over her, anger and pain, and everything I’d shoved so deep down inside me came pouring to the surface. “Luck didn’t keep me from drowning in the damn ocean. I did. And luck sure as fucking hell didn’t drag me half a block through the goddamn snow while I was bleeding out! I DID!” Everyone around us was perfectly still and silent. It felt like time had frozen for a split second, but I knew it didn’t. “You want her to love you? You want to be me so bad? Then why don’t you find a piano to play or wear a pair of those shoes you look at every day and dance? You want my life? Fucking take it!”

Her wide eyes watched me, shocked and slightly scared, but deep in them, a satisfied fascination gleamed. I shook my head and turned away from her, walking past the long line of staring faces until I practically threw myself out the back alley door. My heart beat wildly in my ears, filling me with the severe shortness of breath that made everything too much. I had to go. I had to get the hell out of here. The cold air bit my skin. The only relief from the burning that had consumed me.

I wanted not to feel this anymore. I wanted to feel nothing at all. With shaking hands, I pulled my phone out and quickly dialed the number I knew by heart. “Hey, it’s me. I need you.”

Jake had followed Lena after she stormed off. He’d called her name, but she didn’t hear him… or just chose not to respond. Fuck! He cursed himself. The group gossiped among themselves about the outburst of their beloved Tiger, but none of them knew what the fuck they were really talking about. His eyes were glued to Olive’s ugly dyed head where she sat next to Simone, whose lack of surprise at Olive’s true identity made his stomach churn. There were several moments where he had to bite his tongue when one of their friends said some hair-brained theory about Lena. He wouldn’t tell them anything, no matter how wild their theories got. He wasn’t going to betray her trust like that. Especially not while she was dealing with all this.

Olive departed without another word to anyone save the confident wink she sent his way. When Simone rose from her seat and quietly made her way to the locker room and for some reason, he couldn’t stop himself from following after her. “How did you know her mom?”

She turned and looked back at him, the expression on her face slightly exasperated but soft. “Jennifer Glover reached out to me a few months ago. She was worried about her daughter and asked me to keep an eye on her.”

“So you and Olive set this whole thing up?”

“Jake,” Simone cooed. “I was just trying to help. She’s been… stressed lately, and I thought-”

“You thought the woman that abused and neglected her would make that better somehow?”

Simone’s face hardened for a moment as she took in the new information. “I didn’t know about that. I swear. I thought you, of all people, would understand my intentions. There’s something about a mother's comfort that seems to solve a lot of problems. I thought it would apply here.”

Jake breathed out his anger and shook his head. “I do understand… I’m sorry. I’m just…”

“Worried,” she finished for him. “You care for her.”

“Simone-”

Holding up her hand, she shook her head with a smile, pressing it to his chest. “You don’t need to explain it to me, Jake. I know you. And if she’s… important to you, then I’ll do my best to get along with her.”

Relief filled Jake’s chest as he leaned into her touch. “Thank you.”

“Try not to worry too much about her,” she advised. “Lena is a very independent girl. I’m sure she’ll be alright.”

Jake should have found comfort in her words, but he didn’t, couldn’t, not when he knew what Lena was feeling. Simone and the others left, and after Jake helped Nicky close things down, he set out for the one place he knew Lena would go to if she was still in the city. The others were already at Ozzy’s when he arrived, dancing and drinking and doing the things they always did. But, to his relief, Lena stood next to a table of her friends and family, wearing a crop top and short skirt with glitter in her hair.

He approached with an audible sigh of relief as she turned and smiled widely at him. “Jake!”

Lena stumbled toward him, a wave of alcohol sweeping over him and burning his nose as she pulled herself into his arms and tangled her hands in his hair, pulling him into a deep kiss. He could taste the rum on her tongue, mingling with several shots of fireball. When she pulled away and sagged against him, he shook his head. “Are you wasted right now?”

“No!” She snorted, nearly tipping them both over as her body swayed. Her eyes caught Sasha in the crowd, and just as suddenly as she’d come, she was gone.

Jake sat in the booth beside Quinn, who tipped her cup to him. “Welcome to babysitting duty!”

“How much has she had to drink?”

“Ask asshat,” Peter grumbled, looking at Patrick.

Patrick rolled his eyes and took a drink of his beer. “She calls I get her drunk. That’s the deal. It keeps her from relapsing, so I don’t see the big issue.”

Peter shook his head and pointed to the dance floor, where Lena moved with the crowd. “She’s not gonna let us take her home tonight. You know how she gets when she drinks this much.”

“I know,” Patrick nodded to Jake. “But now that he’s here, I doubt it’ll be an issue.”

Quinn laughed. “I mean, dick is one of drunk Lena’s main motivators. And since it’s attached to her dear sweet Jakey, it should be foolproof.”

“See,” Patrick replied, grinning at his brother. “Nothin' to worry about.”

Peter sighed. “Quinn, bathroom.”

“On it!” The stripper jumped on top of the table, hopping clean over him to rush to Lena’s side and drag her toward the bathrooms with Prue joining in to help.

Jake watched them for a minute before turning to the two brothers. “So I’m some kind of distraction?”

Peter leaned forward. “Our sister has very strict moods when it comes to this level of drinking.”

“The first, as you probably coulda guessed, is she gets real touchy.” Patrick winked at him.

“Then she gets overly honest. And from there she’s a ball of energy looking for a fight.”

“Or a fuck.”

Jake nodded, eyes narrowing. “So, I’m supposed to what?”

Peter regarded Jake with a look, one similar to the one he’d given him months ago with the threat. “You convince her to go home. Nothing else.”

“And what if she presses for more than a quick drop off?”

“Watch a movie with her, play a board game, I don’t care just be respectful.”

The warning, though one he knew was Peter’s way of showing love for his sister, stung. Patrick nudged the bald man. “Oi, Jake ain’t some criminal. He’ll take care of her.”

Quinn and Prue led Lena back to their table, letting her flop down beside Jake before shooing the boys to make room. The redhead looked up at him with a weak smile. “I threw up.”

He chuckled and brushed her hair out of her face. “I bet. Maybe we should take it easy for a minute.”

“That sounds boring.”

“Boring can be fun sometimes.”

Her eyes narrowed. “That doesn’t sound right.”

Ozzy walked to their table with a kind nod and a plate of drinks. “Good ta see ya Jake. Was wonderin when you’d find your way here after this one showed up.”

“Yeah, she’s quick.”

Ozzy set a small shot glass down in front of her. “Oooh, what’s this one?”

“Water,” he replied.

“Eww,” Lena whined.

Giving her a stern but loving look, Ozzy pointed. “Drink it, or I’ll have one of the idiot's spoon feed it to you.”

She stuck her tongue out at him but lifted the glass of water to her lips and downed the liquid quickly. “Happy?”

The older man ruffled her hair with his large hand. “Yes, I am, you stubborn girl.”

As the night dragged on Jake saw what the others had meant about Lena’s drunken moods. She touched him every chance she got, leaning on him, hugging him, kissing him. Jake did his best to keep her from doing something she’d likely regret, but as he’d been warned she was difficult to reason with. When the brutal honesty started coming into play the others quickly vacated the area, not wanting to be given unsolicited advice on their deepest and most troubling issues. Luckly for him she seemed more focused on laying across his lap than she was unearthing all his issues.

The biker leader walked through the door and Lena jumped from the booth, tackling him in a big hug. “DOM!”

Jake noted that the only times he’d seen the cold drug dealer smile was with Lena and conflicted feelings rose in his chest. Dom walked her back to the booth and sat down next to her, feeling her forehead and checking her eyes. “Just drinks tonight?”

“Yep.” She over pronounced the P with a giggle. “I really wanted to call you though. You’re more fun.”

He chuckled. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t. I’ve got shit to do tonight.”

Lena pouted. “Awwww you’re not gonna babysit me?”

“Maybe I’ll drop by later and check up on ya.” Dom offered.

“That’s good enough I guess.”

Dom met Jake’s eyes over the table. “You in charge of her tonight?”

He shrugged, looking around to Prue and Will dancing and Quinn and Ari at the bar. “Looks like it.”

He nodded. “Get her home safe, tough guy.”

After another hour dancing with her, Jake finally managed to coax Lean out the door and toward her house. They greeted the bikers, whose numbers had seemingly grown, bringing a tense feeling to his gut. Once Lena opened her door she was on him. Soft hands caressing his cheeks and pulling his hair while her addictive mouth kissed and nipped at his lips and neck. Jake felt lightheaded as he chased her lips, wanting nothing more than to keep kissing her, but knowing that he couldn’t.

She was surprisingly strong as she manuvered them toward her bedroom door, pulling him from his own selfish desires and back into the moment. Holding her shoulders and pushing her away slightly he huffed. “Wait.”

“What?” She whined, trying to pull him closer. “Don’t you want to?’

Yes. Jake ground his teeth together. “No, not like this.”

Everything shifted as her lower lip wobbled. "Am I horrible?" She asked him, tears shining in her eyes. "Why does no one want me?"

Her words… The hoarse, near-sobbing sound of her voice felt like a slap to the face. There was no way she actually thought he or anyone didn't want her. She was everything… Perfect in ways he couldn't even explain. But her face said it all. Lena looked exactly how she had when he pulled her out of the water that night in The Cape. She looked like a lost and scared girl, searching for the love and acceptance of a mother capable of neither. At that moment, he saw every ounce of pain and insecurity she'd carried with her just as real as her scars.

He carefully took her face in his hands and sighed. "That's not why…" God damn it. Jake pressed his body into hers, chasing the now fleeting feeling of her warmth. "I do want you, Lena. God, I want you." His thumbs wiped away the tears that slid down her cheeks. "I want you sober. I want you to remember everything we say and do… and I want you not to regret any of it after."

She grabbed at his clothes, eyes filled with that brave or stupid drunken gleam of truth. "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you." Her hands were so soft and warm against his skin as she molded herself into him, pressing her lips to his. "I wouldn't regret you, Jake… I couldn't."

He wanted to give in to her. Wanted to finally know what being with her without their stupid rules, barriers, and games would be like. But above all that desire, Jake couldn't shake the familiar feeling of nausea that settled in his gut. At that moment, he felt like he had all those nights with Simone. He felt like a tool there only to alleviate her hurt… He felt like she was using him.

Jake's grip on her tightened slightly as he gently put some space between them. "It doesn't feel right. I don't… I don't want you to use me to distract yourself."

She seemed to sober up in an instant, pulling herself away from him. Jake prepared for the angry shouts and the hideous words to fly at him. His whole body tensed in preparation, only to be met with her tender voice, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to feel…" Lena shook her head and wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry, Jake. I shouldn't have put my shitty issues on you. That wasn't fair of me."

"You're not mad?" He asked, now on the verge of tears of his own.

"No," she breathed, retaking a step toward him. "I'm not mad at you. I would never be mad at you for this." His heart pounded in his ears, the nervousness and nausea fading slowly. Then, sensing the shift, Lena stepped closer again. "Can I… Can I hug you?"

Jake said nothing, silently reaching out and wrapping his arms around her. At that moment, her hands settling against his back felt better than anything he'd ever felt during some one-night stand. She'd once told him sex wasn't everything… That intimacy and closeness could come from simple things. He hadn't believed her then, but now… Now he understood what she meant. With his face buried into her hair, he whispered, "Thank you."

After a minute or longer, she pulled back, wordlessly wiping the tears that had slipped through his burning eyes. "You can go home if you want to. I'll be alright on my own. Or, you can stay for a bit. Whatever you want."

"We could watch that movie you were telling me about," he offered, slightly unsure.

"I still can't believe you've never seen Ghostbusters." Lena smiled at him, and he knew this was real. She really didn't mind him refusing her advances. She didn't hold it against him. "I'm gonna go change if you want to start it. Should just be on the shelf."

"Okay," was all he could say as he dumbly watched her walk away, closing the bedroom door behind her.

It felt weird. The way the air had instantly lifted once he'd told her how he felt. Simone would have found a way to convince him. She would have suggested some wine or changed in front of him, knowing his resolve would falter seeing her. Simone would have been angry for weeks after. She would have called him a child. He shook his head, moving to put the movie in and settle on her couch next to the tiger stuffed animal he won for her. For once, it didn’t matter to him what Simone would have done. Now, all he focused on was what Lena did.

She joined him on the couch, reaching over to grab the stuffed tiger and cuddle into him as the movie started. “I like this movie much better than the one you picked.”

Jake watched her more than he did the screen. “I do too.”

Once she’d drifted to sleep on his lap, Jake picked her up and carried her to her room. She sleepily snuggled the tiger under the covers and looked up at him, lifted her head to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Goodnight, Jake.”

His whole face tingled. “Goodnight, Lena.”

The hangover I had the next morning was brutal, but it beat waking up in some stinking drug den so I didn’t complain. Prue and Quinn gave me the quick rundown of the night after my memory started to blur. “Did Jake take me home?”

“Yeah, he was so sweet.”

“Why?”

I remembered him in my apartment, our kissing and the way my body had burned for him, but above all that I remembered the way he’d stopped things before they got out of hand and the vunerable moments that followed. “No reason.”

The Ring was empty when I got there, but the sound of chains rattling drew me to the small practice ring, where Peter tiredly swung at the bag in the corner until he stumbled and had to lower himself to the mat. I greeted the small hairless cat before moving to join him. “You’re getting stronger.”

“Slowly.”

Taking hold of his hand I smiled. “Rome wasn’t built in a day, big brother.”

He closed his eyes, steadying his breathing. “I know.”

“Did you see her?” I asked him with a sad look.

“No.” Peter sighed. “She showed up and hung around for an hour, but I didn’t… I don’t have anything left to say to her.”

I squeezed his hand tighter. "Probably for the best. I know what she does to you."

Peter turned his head, looking down at me from where he lay. "How are you holding up?"

"Poorly," I answered honestly. "I don't think I've ever wanted to get high more than I do right now."

"No one would think less of you if you did." My brother's face was filled with understanding.

"I would."

He nodded, bumping his forehead to mine. "Whatever you need, I'm here."

Clenching my jaw, I sighed. "Will you come to work with me? I don't know if she'll show up, but… I…"

"I get it." Carefully he sat up. "Let me go get dressed into something nicer."

"For the love of god, don't put that suit back on!"

True to his word Peter came down in a nice blazer and simple dress pants, both of which thankfully fit him. He happily joined me through my shift, chatting with Nicky and Jake at the bar while I ran food to the dining room. Our mom didn’t show and by the time ten oclock came around we both knew she wasn’t going to. But, just when I’d begun to relax… to let my guard down the stiff sound of a cane dragging along the floor caught my attention.

“Bonjour, Précieuse.” He sounded so different from how I’d remembered. Older… sad.

I turned, abandoning the kitchen doors I’d been standing in front of to look at him. He looked the same as he had when I saw him at the theatre, but tonight was different… Heavier. “François… I didn’t… I…”

His lips thinned into a tight line. “Oui, I know you were not expecting to see me again. However, I could not help myself.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I wish to speak with you.”

Convincing Tony to let me visit François in the hospital had been surprisngly easy, something that had put me on edge, but I’d assumed that after last night… after he got what he wanted he’d calmed down. With a modest bouquet of lilies and lavender I approached his door, quietly knocking before I entered. “François?”

The golden haired boy weakly turned his head to look at me, eyes red and puffy. “What are you doing here?”

I walked toward him, moving slower, stiff and sore, my body still recovering from last night. I sat in the empty seat beside him with a wince, carefully adjusting until the pain was mostly bearable. “I wanted to check in… make sure you’re okay.”

“Okay?” He spat. “Look at me… Why would I be okay?”

“I-”

“You left me there.” His eyes filled with tears as he grabbed the flowers from my hand and threw them across the room. I flinched. “YOU LEFT ME THERE!”

Tears filled my eyes as I shook, holding onto my arms tightly. “I didn’t have a choice…”

François shook his head and whined. “The doctors say the damage done to my knee is severe. They say I will never dance again.”

“I’m…” I wiped the tears from my cheeks. “I’m so sorry, François. I… What can I do?”

“Leave.”

“What?” Hurt filled my lungs as I looked at him, the boy who once held nothing but joy and life and love in his eyes. Now those eyes were filled with pain and hatred.

“Leave. And do not come back.”

“François,” I whispered. “Please… I…”

He turned his head away from me, crying softly. “I do not want to see you ever again Lena Glover.”

I didn’t remember standing, or getting on the elevator with Tony’s men, but as we rode down everything became clear. There are worse things than dying.

Jake wiped the bar down slowly, his eyes fixed on the red hair that glowed beneath the dining room lights for a long minute before they shifted to the face of the man across from her. He looked sad, Jake noted. He looked like a pain deeper than eyes could see haunted his every waking moment, a feeling Jake knew too well. He’d noticed how hesitant Lena had been agreeing to sit down with him, and now he was determined to make sure she felt safe.

“Relax,” Peter told him from where he still sat at the bar. “François is one of the good ones.”

Shaking his head he moved his rag slightly. “She didn’t seem too excited to see him.”

Peter nodded, looking down at the water in his glass. “There’s a lot of pain there. A lot that’s been left unsaid for too long.”

“Who is he?”

“A dancer,” Peter replied. “She always spoke of him fondly so I assume they had somewhat of a blooming romance.”

“What happened between them?”

The brothers face furrowed. “That’s not my story to share. Just… let her have this, Jake. She deserves the closure.” He stood, putting his blazer back on. “Tell her I went home and to call if she needs me.”

Jake turned his eyes back to their table, watching closely for any sign of distress. “I will.”

“You look good,” I told him, stiffly sitting in the chair across from him.

“As do you,” he replied.

The awkward silence was killing me slowly. “Why did you come here?”

François sighed. “I’ve wanted to see you for a long time, but I never had the courage to… not after…”

I cast my eyes downward. “I understand.”

“No,” he whispered. “You do not. I never should have blamed you for what happened.”

“It was my fault.”

“It wasn’t,” he insisted. “The man behind the gun is the one to blame for what happened, Lena. I was… I was angry. In one night my life had changed so drastically. I thought without dancing… that I was nothing.” He sighed. “And I took that fear out on you.”

You deserved it. “I’m sorry, for all of it.”

“As am I.” He smiled. “Will you… dance with me?”

“What?”

He gestured to the empty space of the dining room. “I cannot move the way I once did, but I would like to have one last dance with you.”

“I would… Like that.” I stood, helping him from his seat and holding him closely as we swayed gently from one side to the other. It was hardly dancing, but with his knee it was the best either of us could do.

His shining eyes bore down into mine, filled with regret and a still shimmgering ember of fondness. François tucked my hair behind my ear. “I forgot how magnificent you were.”

Shaking my head I disagreed. “I’m average.”

“You have never been average Lena, not for one moment.” François held my face with one hand, stroking my cheek as tears began to build in my eyes. “I think… if things had been different you would have been the love of my life.”

“You would have been mine too,” I admitted softly. “You were the only one that ever… You were too good for me.”

He chuckled. “Impossible, Précieuse.”

I chuckled, resting my head against his chest. “I missed that laugh.”

“As I missed yours.”

We danced until his knee couldn’t handle the strain any longer, left standing in each others arms… both not wanting to say goodbye but both knowing we had to. “I hope you find a new purpose, François. One that brings you the joy ballet did.”

“I hope this for you as well. Now, one last kiss before we part ways?”

All I could do was nod and let him pull me into him. His warm lips pressed gently to mine, a simple and modest kiss shared between a thirteen year old girl and the fourteen year old boy she’d fallen for. It was the perfect farewell. “Goodbye, Prince Ivan.”

He smiled, tears building in his eyes as he stroked my cheek. “Au revoir, mon précieux oiseau de feu.”

I locked the front door behind him, relieved knowing that everyone else had already gone home and that no one would see me like this. Slowly making my way to the stairs, intending to get my things and go home I found myself heaving instead. I collapsed onto the steps, holding my hand over my mouth in some miserable attempt to keep in the sobs bursting from my throat. My hands trembled as I tried to find something to ground myself… to escape this cold and mournful feeling. Then, someone cleared their throat at the top of the stairs, startling me.

Jake leaned against the railing, holding a cigarette in one hand and a lighter in the other. I quickly wiped my eyes and stood up. “Sorry. I… I thought everyone went home.”

“I figured you could use a smoke,” he said softly.

With a wobbling voice, I answered, “That… sounds nice.”

He descended the stairs and sat down, waiting for me to join him on the step before he lit the cigarette and took a few puffs of the smoke before offering it to me. With slightly shaking hands, I took it, enjoying the slight burn that filled my lungs. "So it's for him, the tattoo?" Jake asked, sounding slightly on edge.

“No… Not entirely…” I sighed. "It's more of a reminder," I told him, trying to focus on anything but the pain that simmered beneath my skin.

"A reminder of what?"

"That there are worse things than dying."

Jake watched me for a moment before he took the cigarette back. “So you two were like a couple or what?”

What could I say that would tell him of the beauty and horrors of my summer romance with François? What words would be enough to capture the way it felt to be truly loved by someone only to have it all torn away? I shrugged. “He was my first love. Or at least, I like to see it that way.” I smiled, the rush of fond memories filling me with a moment of happiness. “We were dance partners back when I was still with my mom. I was thirteen, and he was fifteen. It… It wasn’t much of a relationship. I mean, we only really had one summer with each other before…” I swallowed a hard lump as that happiness was replaced with blood and screaming. "Don't leave me.”

“He doesn’t really seem like your type,” Jake noted, the steady timber of his voice gently coaxing me out of the pained memories. “No offense.”

“None taken,” I told him with a sigh. “He was beautiful, funny and fearless and… everything I wanted to be. But, François… He was the first person that thought I was more than some porcelain doll. He was the first person that actually saw me.”

I could see his head tilt to the side from the corner of my eye. “Sounds like a decent guy.”

I nodded. “He was. François was just good and so charming and… It always reminded me of Peter. That way, he just beautifully moved through the world like it was all so amazing.”

A beat passed of us exchanging the cigarette before Jake finally asked, “What happened? Between you and him.”

“I fucked it up. Like always.” Tears streamed down my cheeks as I shook my head, scoffing. “It was so stupid… thinking I could ever have something like that. Something good." I forced myself to breathe as the words just flowed. “It was all my fault. He… He lost everything he loved, all that goodness and that fearlessness, because of me.”

“That’s not true,” Jake said. “I don’t know him… or what happened… but I know you, Lena. Whatever it was, it wasn’t your fault.”

I closed my eyes and shook my head, wiping my tears away with the back of my sleeve and trying to reign in the pain. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does.” He gently lifted my face, turning it to meet his calm blue eyes. “What you feel matters.” With a shuddering breath, I fell into his arms, clutching onto him for dear life as he held me. “It’s okay.”

I sobbed into his skin, holding onto him like he was the only thing keeping me from drowning… like by some miracle, this proximity to him would keep all the horrible dark things lurking around the corner from me. My mother wasn’t going to let this one visit be the last. Olive was on a warpath to prove I was the ungrateful child she believed me to be… to take everything I’d worked for. Tony was… My hands curled in Jake’s shirt, trying not to think about what Tony would do to him if… when he finally came out of the shadows for me.

My voice was little more than a pathetic whimper of his name. “Jake…”

“I’ve got you,” he said, pressing his lips to my temple. “I’ve got you, Lena.”

Leave. I wanted to say… wanted to warn him. You’re selfish for keeping him here. For putting him in danger because of some childish fantasy that he could ever want you. I closed my eyes tighter, the voice in my head a mix of my own and Tony’s. “Jake…” I pushed myself away from his chest and looked into his eyes. Leave me. He watched me, gently brushing the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs as he held my face in his hands. “I…” Tell. Him. To. Go. “I’m scared…”

His eyes were unbearably soft as he nodded, jaw clenching for a second before he said, “Of what?"

Of falling back into my old habits. Of disappointing everyone I love. Of losing you. Of what is worse than dying. There were so many words I could have said, but all I could do was shrug and shake. "It just feels like something bad is going to happen, and I…" I won't survive it if he hurts you… "I can't do it again."

"Nothing bad’s gonna happen." He shook his head and sadly smiled at me. "Not while I’m here. Not while I’ve got you.”

“Jake-”

“Do you trust me?” He asked.

Breathing out a shaking breath, I let his warmth comfort me as I nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

Jake’s smile eased the pain, but the way he pulled me back into him, holding me like I was important, made everything start to fade away. “Come here, princess.”

“Thank you,” I whispered as his hands rubbed soothingly down my arms. “For everything.”

“What are friends for?” He replied with a chuckle.

Friends. For the first time since I’d met him… since our flirtatious relationship had shifted to something casually sexual with lingering kisses and blowjobs and fingering the word didn’t feel like enough. It felt like a lie, one I’d been able to cling to before, but now there was a word, a feeling that sparked in my chest like a freshly lit ember. A feeling I’d have to ignore, but I knew some way, somehow, it wasn’t going to go away.

Howard walked home in the dark, alone. Simone had stopped asking him to join her after Tess had tried to leverage herself into a higher position by sleeping with him. An indulgence he both regretted and did not. So, in the chilled autumn air, he walked alone with his thoughts, which, as of late, had been plagued with a pebble lodged in his shoe for too long. The one with dark hair and an attitude that made him want to scream.

Jake had always been a problem. The way he interacted with guests was childish and sloppy; one wrong word spoken was always enough to set him off into some tantrum. He’d wanted to be done with him years ago, but Simone - the thorned rose that, while brutal and a pain to deal with, brought something to the restaurant he knew he needed - had insisted. The two were a package deal, she’d said. Never one without the other. Yet, to him, it seemed they were further away from each other than they’d ever been. The young man's focus had shifted to a place Howard had been worried about since Lena Harrow walked into his office all those months ago.

Their attraction to one another was expected. The bartender was handsome and young, charismatic when he wanted to be. But what he thought would be a quick fling or nothing at all had been dragged out in some painful dance. He worried for the lively and spirited girl he’d watched blossom despite the weight placed on her delicate shoulders.

Lena was beautiful, talented, and held so much spirit. She reminded Howard of his late wife when she was younger. The two shared many traits, but… if Howard were truly honest with himself, the roles were reversed. It was his wife that reminded him of Lena. It was one of the reasons he’d married her. He loved her with all he had, but those urges… the undeniable attraction he’d harbored for the would-be Glover as she worked tirelessly by her aunt's side had always been there.

A red and white car parked outside his house made him pause, and a wave of unease made his gut tighten as he cautiously approached his front door, only to find it ajar. Howard breathed in and entered, unwilling to be bullied from his own home. “Hello?”

“Howard.” The sound of liquor swishing in one of his crystal glasses echoed as expensive cigar smoke stung his nose. “I let myself in. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” He walked forward, ignoring the larger men in the room with them. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit, Anthony?”

“You remember a favor I once did for you?” The young, well-dressed man asked with a sparkling grin that never reached his dead eyes. “Well, it’s time to pay up.”

The sounds from his TV made Howard’s gut drop. Shame and guilt and something darker warring within him. “What do you want?”

Anthony laughed, deranged and dangerous. “Come now, Howard. Let’s not pretend you don’t already know.”

“I can’t…”

He held up a single finger. “Don’t. Don’t say another fucking word.”

“Anthony…”

“Debts must be paid. You can either pay it in action or in flesh.” The men standing in the room closed in, towering over the simple manager with… questionable morals. The TV grew louder, and Howard’s heart hammered in his chest as Tony rose from his couch and walked toward him with a blade gleaming in the light. “Which will it be, Howard?"

"I-"

"Action or flesh?"

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