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simp4konig · 8 months

Text

König mistakenly shoots you on the battlefield

König x Gender-neutral Reader

Word count: ~4500

*SLOW burn but when my writing finally has that spark this fic catches FIRE and FAST so be prepared!! 🔥🔥

*⚠️Angst Angst! ANGST!⚠️

*THABK YOU SO SO SO MUCH TO AZZY MY NO.1 FAN FOR THIS AMAZING IDEA!!!! 🥰🥰🥰I LOVE *YOU* VERY MUCH!! 🥹🫶🫶💞💞💞💞 💞💞💞💞💞THANK UVFOR ALWAUS LIKING MYNPOSTS AND BEING SO KIND TO ME YOU MAKE EBERY HOIR SPENT WRITING WORTH IT AS I AM ALWAYS EAGER FOR YOUR MESSAGES😭😭💓💓💓💓💓💓I AM *YOUR* NO.1 APPRECIATOR IN ALL RHE GALAXIES🌌🚀✨🌠QNDVWISH U ALL THE BEST ALWAYS!!!!!!🫂🫂💗💗 THIS ENTJRE POST IS DEDICATED TO YOU !!! 🥹(,,havinf said that, i hope u arent TOO taken aback bu tje level of angst here 💀💀REALLT went overboard and I completely apologize 💔)

TWs: König is in love with you. König's sanity slowly deteriorates as the fanfiction progresses. Mentions of attempted suicide, graphic depictions of gore, potentially triggering depictions of depression. König has suicidal thoughts after shooting you. König experiences intense trauma after shooting you and has survivor's guilt.

*Reader's callsign is "King". Implied age gap. One-sided pining from König... but the ending is purposefully kept ambigous (as you, the reader, can interpret the final interaction however you like)! Can be read as a standalone if you have never read any of my works before. <3

*To clarify to those that have already read my works before, this is *NOT* a direct continuation to 1.my fluffy 2.series! This is a separate imagine, but DOES take place in the same KönigxKing microchosm. Whether the following events take place in an alternate timeline or happen at some point in the future/past is for you to decide. Idk man i just write the fics I don't do the world buidling 🗿I write sotires without thingign about the greater picture u honestly think my one shots will tie to a greater plot?☹️No 💔

...

Right from the beginning, König had a gut feeling that this mission was going to go wrong.

It was a deep sense of foreboding in the pit of his stomach, making him feel queasy on the helicopter ride as the both of you with an additional three others were scheduled for contact in a few minutes' time.

You were just a recruit, and this mission was far too intense for someone with next to no experience in an active warzone for it to be their first. He knew the dangers of missions like this, knew how things could go horribly wrong in an instant.

It wasn't that he doubted your ability. Not at all. From the corner of the room he would silently supervise as you sparred another person, monitoring your movements incase your opponent had the upperhand and you needed guidance.

However, he had never needed to intervene, as he was impressed with your quick reactions and your controlled steps as you'd move on the balls of your feet, arms held up in front of your face. Ambition was in your eyes, your face scrunched up in concentration as you calculated your next move.

You'd defend yourself up until the moment you'd pounce and in a blink of an eye be on top of your opponent, your entire weight pressed on their theirs on the ground. Whether it was another woman, another man, or even a person with bigger bulk you were clearly disadvantaged by, you'd never give up, and took on any challenge with an impressionable passion of a young recruit.

Once they'd be the one to tap out, you'd immediately push yourself off them and offer them a hand, asking them "Are you alright?" in a concerned tone as you were pulling them up. "Sorry for getting aggressive there, sir/miss! I hope I didn't hurt you!"

To which they'd respond with boisterous laughter and a strong clap on your back, you doubled over as they were congratulating you for knocking them off their two feet and telling you to keep up the good work. König couldn't wipe the triumphant smile from his face, filled with pride at your personal victory.

Once you'd be the one to tap out, you'd part ways honourably, never disrespecting the person that came out on top. If anything, your loss only added fuel to the fire burning in your eyes, driven to work harder. He still admired you, and would be the one to pull you up as he dusted you off, telling you that you did a great job regardless.

"Thank you, sir!" You'd reply bashfully, face red from effort and embarassment. "Though, I'm sure I made a fool of myself with how I was flailing my arms just then..."

"Nein. Not at all," he'd say, eyes glinting with something that you couldn't quite recognize. "You did very well."

Target practice displayed your accurate aim, wool seeping out from the heads of dummies and the targets regularly replaced as the wood would cling in pieces, the center blasted into smithereens by repeated bullseyes from you.

Always lingering nearby to assist, you would gratefully accept König's help and allow him to demonstrate how to operate another gun with an appreciative smile on your face, your genuine eagerness to learn making König's chest tighten. You seemingly never knew the effect you had on him.

You were a naturally skilled soldier, he had observed, and he knew that you'd make an incredible addition to the team, he couldn't deny that.

Yet, he couldn't shake off this feeling as something more grave.

All personel debriefed and the plan disclosed a week prior, the superior went over the plan once more back at base. A large blueprint spilling over the table with weak spots and areas to beware were annotated, his forefinger pointing at different areas of interest. Sketches, photographs, and jottings were displayed from a projector for all to see as you listened closely.

König's jaws were grinding against each other in agitation, having doubts about you being deployed on this mission.

Despite this operation being portayed as an in and out extraction, König knew better. He knew what the stakes were. Intuition urged him to warn you, to confide in you about his doubts and even considered crossing your name off the list and assigning you elsewhere last minute without anyone knowing.

But the thought that he could be controlling you — a young, innocent recruit — and even considered doing something so foul didn't sit right with him.

You were your own person, and he couldn't be your shadow, couldn't act as a human shield against all that was cruel and gruesome in life. You had chosen this job, and therefore must have had at least some idea of what your responsibilities would entail, some knowledge of what soldiers go through in pursuit of glory.

Instead of being so pertubed, he should keep it together, he thought, should maintain a stoic façade. He was your superior — your colonel, for God's sake — he was someone you aspired to be, someone that should be an inspiration, a role model, someone that could have your back and be a reliable body to fall back on.

Not someone that couldn't keep it together when you around.

Especially when he shouldn't have been having feelings for you.

You, a young person vulnerable and easily influenced by people older than you, by the likes of him.

It wasn't right. He wasn't right for what he was feeling, for what he had been thinking. It wasn't right for his feelings to cloud his judgement, wasn't right that abusing his power had even crossed his mind, let alone been tempted to act upon it.

Your voice pulled him from his thoughts. "König? Are you alright, sir?"

Turning his head to face you, he nodded with false certainty, containing his worry in an attempt to appear confident for you.

"Ja, King, it's okay. Just thinking, that's all."

You quirked a brow, not convinced. "Hey."

Placing a firm hand on his shoulder, a serious expression was on your face, which caught König off guard and made his eyes widen. "If you're thinking that I'm going to get myself killed then you've got another thing coming, because I will NOT get shot by the enemy."

His back slumped over a little, averting his gaze for a moment. "Nein, sie haben recht."

"Ich sollte nicht zulassen, dass meine Gefühle mein Urteilsvermögen trüben." König mumbled something else under his breath in German, then quickly shook his head and laughed, looking into your eyes again.

Tension in his body was eased a little. "No, you're right."

A little. Because he wasn't going to dismiss the thoughts gnawing at the back of his head as mere paranoia.

You perked up. "Good, glad we've got that cleared up, sir! I want you to know that I won't disappoint!"

His heart skipped a beat at your smile, so eager to please and make him proud, that he shuffled uncomfortably, trying to get the butterflies in his stomach to calm down. Now wasn't the time.

Idly fidgeting with his combat knife as the helicopter blades hummed above, he went back to thinking over all the possibilities and different ways this mission could go awry:

...What if these were the wrong coordinates, or the helicopter would be attacked the minute they landed? The thought of an ambush wasn't an irrational one — it had happened before, he reminded himself — so he had brought a few more weapon crates than necessary for safekeeping.

...What if the helicopter's signal was intercepted and everyone including the pilot were destined for a fatal crash? Counting the number of parachutes and noting the fire exit, he could rest a little easier if an emergency like that was to arise, yet it still did little to soothe his nerves.

...What if you really did get shot? In case that happened, he had alerted some operators beforehand to serve as re-enforcements, one of those on board including a skilled army medic, under the guise of needing more manpower in case things went south. After all, this extraction could not have go wrong. It shouldn't have gone wrong.

But... what if you died? König wouldn't know how to deal with the feelings associated with your death, knowing that he had loved you from afar yet never acted on it. At least he'd be able to keep his shameful secret a secret, and you'd pass away never knowing what he truly saw you as, truly thought of you.

He had little time to figure out what was causing the trepidation to stiffen his muscles as the helicopter suddenly swerved and lowered, landing kilometres away from the designated building yet on unstable ground nonetheless. Any moment soldiers could attack it if they had known the group's location, so the blades kept spinning and the engine kept running for an immediate getaway.

König assumed authority. "Everyone remember the plan?"

Four heads nodded in sync.

"Gut. Then you all know what to do. I will enter from the side with my Lieutenant—" he said, gesturing with his head at a masked operator beside you, "—while you three—" referring to you and two others you were only vaguely aquainted with, "—storm from the back. Ja?"

König's eyes stalled on you for a moment longer than necessary. You were going to be alright, he told himself. He'd keep you in his field of vision and could provide you with cover once you regrouped when you'd really need it.

"A quick extraction," he reminded, eyes stern yet heart disbelieving. "Simply go in, get the data, and go out."

A final nod of the head from König as he and his associate separated from your group. You headed towards the back of the building, fully alert, aiming behind corner incase there had been someone waiting to assassinate you.

Doors creaking as one of the men pushed, the three of you filtered in noiselessly, attempting to be as discreet as possible and wincing when the door slammed not so quietly. Guns cocked and silencers attached, you advanced in a line, blending in to the shadows.

As you walked, there were no signs of life, and the storehouse seemed abandoned. No machinery was being operate. No voices could be heard.

All was still and quiet.

Eerily quiet.

Feeling the hairs on your arms and neck stand on end, you shuddered. You made eye contact with one of the men in front of you who had more expertise, and he looked on edge, eyebrows creased in focus under his balaclava. None of this felt right.

Suddenly, something small rolled over towards you all. Blinking once, twice, you let out a panicked scream and dived for cover.

"Grenade!"

All hell broke loose.

Bullets ricocheted over your head, guns blasting from so many directions you couldn't pinpoint their source.

Slowly recovering from your momentary shock, you gripped your rifle tight and started shooting back, hidden behind a load of wooden crates. When you saw your hooded colonel crouching in a corner, you relaxed. With an encouraging nod from him, that was all you needed to go change positions, and you lunged forward. All was going smoothly at that point.

So engrossed in eliminating the threats in front of him, however, König only came to the realisation that you weren't there when he didn't see your figure in his peripheral vision.

Panic consumed his senses and circulated through his veins. All at once, he was frantically scanning the immediate area, searching for any trace of you.

You were thrashing and kicking as you were being pulled by rough hands, your fingers reaching for your holster through gritted teeth, yet it was just out of grasp. You were thrown harshly against the wall, and the enemy towered over you, feeling high from his power trip and excited to exert authority he had never had up to now.

Just as a knife made its way to your throat, your hand finally found your side arm and shot a bullet between his eyes, body falling on top of you like a sack of potatoes.

You convulsed involuntarily, hyperventilating under his weight and the sudden situation. Noting your surroundings, your heart sank.

You were in no man's land, full view of soldiers shooting at your team. The extraction point was just in sight, exactly how and where it was illustrated on the blueprint.

So far, no one had noticed you, too preoccupied aiming down their sights to see you shuffling under a corpse. You could enter those headquarters right now, could be proclaimed a hero of this story, and make your colonel proud and finish before schedule.

The risk was too big. You were bound to get shot.

Yet, against all better judgement, you dashed for the entrance, taking advantage of the element of surprise as three men turned towards you with wide eyes, not expecting to see you enter. Two were haphazardly shoving papers into a half-open folder thrown on the table.

Three shots fired before they could scramble for a gun, you rushed towards the desk. Scanning the material, your eyes widened in shock. This was it.

Now, your only choice was to crawl back into the line of fire. Soldiers still kept shooting with their backs turned, endless ammunition right at their disposal.

You were totally helpless on your own. Just one pair of wandering eyes from the enemy and just one shot in the back of the head would be all that would take to end your life at that moment and make all of your efforts go to waste.

Although an atheist, you mouthed a silent prayer, before taking a deep breath, and sprinted.

Seeing sudden movement headed towards him, König acted on instinct, and pulled the trigger on you.

His heart stopped.

Time slowed as your body fell in slow motion, more bullets piercing through your gear.

Realising his mistake immediately, he almost vomited his own stomach out at seeing you fall lifelessly on the ground, eyes wide and body dropping on impact.

"Scheisse, cover me, verdammt!" He yelled over his shoulder, all rational thought ceasing.

Breathing rapid and strained, he rushed towards you, gently wrapping his arms around your body — growing weaker by the minute — and headed straight for the first sign of cover he could see. Behind unstable and temporary refuge that could be blown to pieces, König was at a loss at what to do.

He had expected everything, evaluated every possible scenario, every possible outcome, even prepared a lifeline for you on the off-chance that you'd be injured in action.

Yet he hadn't anticipated that he would be the one to shoot you. Never.

Shaking violently, König could barely get any words out. "—S-schatz, please please please—"

Hesistant hands hovered over your wounds, conflicted, as blood was staining your uniform, wrenching König's heart. His mind kept repeating you did this. You did this. You did this.

You needed urgent aid, and you needed it right now, yet he didn't deserve to touch you, his hands clenched into fists as he didn't want to break you further, treating you like fragile glass that could shatter into pieces under his touch if he so held you.

He was the one that did this to you. You, the young recruit he was so hopelessly infatuated with, a person who he had cherished and loved from afar, the person who made him feel good things for the first time ever in his life.

He did this to you.

He was the monster in your closet, the threat that König had desperately attempted protect you from all this time, the threat that you were told to eliminate on this mission. The enemy.

The enemy that had mistakenly shot you.

"Es tut mir so leid, I'm so sorry—" König's mind couldn't function properly, speaking in broken mix of English and German. He couldn't gather his thoughts, couldn't think.

"—I'm so so so sorry. Please don't die, bitte vergib mir, forgive me, forgive me, schatz. Forgive me. Ich liebe dich, schatz, do you hear me? I love you."

Bullets whizzed past you both relentlessly, both of you still caught in crossfire. König's lips were moving yet you couldn't hear what he was saying to you, couldn't feel anything as you slowly lost consciousness, slowly closed your eyes.

A calloused hand tapped your face in desperation, your vision blurred.

"—Nein, nein, King! Stay awake! I'm calling for the re-enforcements now! Please, don't die on me— I'm so sorry..."

Shaky yelling through the walkie-talkie, voice cracking. "This is your colonel, König! We're retreating right now! One of ours is wounded! Send the re-enforcements right now to this location! I repeat, we are retreating! I am calling this mission off!"

"What? Are you crazy, König?!" A break in character from the commander, before immediately assuming professionalism once more. "Proceed with the mission! You are on the verge of breaking their defenses! You will enter their headquarters and be able to—"

"Nein. That was an order, commander," he hissed through gritted teeth, nearly crushing the device in his death-grip. "We are retreating. I am calling this mission off."

A pause. Then: "Copy that, colonel. We are sending your re-enforcements to cover you as you exit. Your helicopter is waiting. Hold out for thirty seconds longer."

Sighing with relief, he suddenly thought his heart stopped beating when he saw you laying there motionlessly, eyes closed. Desperately tapping at your cheek did nothing to awaken you. He prayed that you'd survive, willing time to go faster.

At last, loud whirring from above gave him the only comfort. Not waiting a second longer, König picked up your limp body and dashed outside, the helicopter lifting off as the rest of the crew threw themselves inside.

Opening your vest to inspect your wounds, he saw a blood-soakes folder secured tightly to your chest.

It was the data. You risked your life for the mission. You risked everything to accomplish the task and he had shot you anyways.

"—This is your colonel, König. We have the data. Mission accomplished, I repeat, mission accomplished. King has the data."

The radio crackled with an indistinguishable response, yet König heard nothing, blood rushing to his head and ringing persisting. Medics wasted no time to wheel you into an operating room, tearing your limp body away from his arms. He avoided the celebrations and cheers for their colonel, leaving everyone dumbfounded at his reaction. Shouldn't have he been proud? The mission was a success!

Yet the mission wasn't a success, and if anything, he felt shame. No one knew why their colonel holed himself up in his room aside from himself.

The news of you in critical condition in the hospital broke König.

As much as he wanted to see you, to check on your health and be the one to see your first signs of recovery, he couldn't. He couldn't bear to witness the colour drained from your face as you laid unmoving on the bed, the slow beeping from the heart rate monitor machine the only indication that you were alive.

He just couldn't. Not when he caused this. Not when he fucked up this much.

Using the gym as a coping mechanism for a while, he trained harder and more often than ever before, only wishing to make the pain go away. When he wasn't at the gym all throughout the day or at odd hours of the night, he'd toss and turn in his bed, having nightmares about your body bleeding out below him as the shot relentlessly echoed in his head. Or worse, he'd imagine himself shooting you again, only this time he'd find the barrel of his gun was aimed at your forehead execution-style, your unassuming face suddenly exploding into bloody pieces and what was left of your bewildered expression still remained even after he had pulled the trigger.

At those, König would spring upright, screaming "No!" in anguish.

He'd be panting heavily, bedsheets drenched in his own sweat and feeling like he was suffocating with each rise and fall of his chest. When the situation sunk in, he'd clench his fists so tightly his knuckles went white, shaken to his very core. On those nights, König wanted nothing more than to hurt himself, to compensate for the injury he inflicted upon you and how he had completely disgraced you.

At one point, when he had finally had enough, in his blind craze snatched the pistol laying by his bed, flicked the safety off and aimed it at the same place he had shot you, just to break down in despair when no bullet came out, the clip hidden in his bedside drawer.

Hand tightly squeezing his heart through his soaked t-shirt, he was repulsed by the fact that he was completely healthy and could walk freely while you lay injured and dying.

Under his watch, you had been injured. Under him, your body had crumpled. And it was his fault.

In emotional turmoil, he soon lost all ability to function. He couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, and could hardly find the motivation to get out of bed most of the time, convinced that he had killed you, convinced that he was a monster. Responsibilities were kept on hold, the next best person taking his place. No one questioned the new arrangement, despite the shared confusion from everyone on base.

He couldn't take this. He couldn't take this any longer. He would have rather died, sacrificed himself in any way possible if it meant that you could live another day, as you could make a greater impact on the world than he ever could. Could be a better person than he ever could.

It was his fault. He shot you. He had shot you. He had shot the recruit that he had hopelessly fallen in love with, yet only he himself was to blame for it for his lack of control, for his inability to be unaffected by his feelings.

One day, a knock on his door pulled him out from his trance.

Prior to the interruption, König was staring at the cement wall, his eyes unfocused, completely still and barely breathing. He wasn't himself.

Immediately straightening his legs and nearly tearing a tendon from how fast he got up despite having been so inactive for the last few days, he stomped quickly towards the door, his face glum yet eyes glinting with the merest hint of hope.

Hand reaching for the handle, he had readied himself, expecting bad news coming from a surgeon wearing a medical mask and a blue uniform, a solemn expression as they devasted him with your passing.

All but the latter was true.

"Colonel König, sir. The patient is awake. You may now visit them if you so wish."

Blinking a couple of times, König thought he had heard incorrectly.

"...P...Pardon?"

Repeated were the words that König was shocked to hear.

"King is awake, sir. Their condition is a stable one. Our team thought to notify you first since you were on the mission with them."

Gasping, König could barely breathe. He felt like he was drowning, drowning despite his head breaking out from the water. "What... I... where?"

"Ground floor, room twelve. They're on medication as of this moment yet are fully awake."

König nearly fell to his knees. You were alive!

You were alive! He hadn't killed you! He thanked the Gods, and could barely keep composed, barely able to stop himself from dashing to the center of base and yelling into the sky in pure joy.

"I— thank you... so much."

Running faster than he had ever ran in his whole life, he was at your door in minutes.

Yet, as his fingers reached for the door knob, he suddenly stopped in his tracks, hand poised mid-air.

What if you didn't want to see him after the whole ordeal?

What if you resented him, and would spit in his face the moment he walked in?

What if you hated him, and wanted nothing to do with him ever again?

Hesistantly knocking twice, he nearly had a heart attack when your voice broke through the door:

"Come in," you called simply; your voice was hoarse, but it was clearly still you.

Taking a deep breath, König pushed the door open.

There you were. He was having heart palpitations at seeing you awake and looking at him.

The light coming through the open curtains made your skin glow despite how pale you were, eyes sparkling and crinkling in happiness despite the dark circles and heavy bags under your eyes, hair splayed out behind on your pillow, resembling a halo, despite how greasy it was.

He had missed you. So much.

Then his heart sunk as he reminded himself that he was the reason for why you were here, why you were in in this state to begin with.

Seeing König, You shot him a daring smirk despite how numb your face felt. "Hey, König, sir. Did you visit me at all? I'm sure you missed me."

Waiting in anticipation, you kept looking at him excitedly. At the lack of response and his refusal to meet your gaze, it faded completely. "—Wh—what? You—"

"Not— not even once? Not—"

Tears were welling up in your eyes. "—you didn't come see me even one time?"

Maybe you shouldn't have gotten your hopes up. Maybe you should have thought that König would not have time to spare in his busy schedule.

Yet you couldn't not get your hopes up when as soon as you woke, your first thought was of König. Although the grim reality hit you hard like a bucket of cold water dumped over your head, you still wished to see him.

And yet, he hadn't wished to see you at all. He had avoided you like the plague.

"Scheisse—"

König started pacing the room, head hung low as he weighed the pros and cons. Indecision.

"—Do you really... do you really want to know why I didn't visit you, King?"

You nodded meekly, lip quivering.

He finally made up his mind.

If you rejected him, at least he'd rest easier knowing that you'd live, and continue to be happy for you from afar. He'd still support you, still be your colonel, still love you even when you found someone else.

"I... I put you in this position, King... It was all my fault," he begun, his voice barely above a whisper.

Tone softed as he finally stopped, as still as a statue, a metre away. From this angle, you saw how bloodshot his eyes were, how they sagged in sadness, how dark circles had formed from lack of sleep. His pale blue eyes were dull, glued to the ground.

"Not only did I lose sight of you on the battlefield, I also shot you. Shot my own—" Pausing, not knowing how to refer to you.

He carried on. "I couldn't live with myself. I still can't live with myself. I'm walking, uninjured, as you are laying in bed, recovering from an injury that I am the reason for. From bullet wounds that were the result of me."

Voice hitching slightly, he tried to keep his breathing under control. But he couldn't.

"How could the monster that shot you enter your room and dare to look at you? How could I watch you cling to life, while I walk freely despite causing you this— this agony? What right do I have looking at you after putting you here?"

You allowed the tears to spill down your cheeks.

He stopped, eyelids drooping, finally meeting your eyes.

"I have feelings for you, King, I—" Trembling "—I do. But... I shouldn't be feeling this way. You have your whole life ahead of you and I—"

"—I've... aged... I'm not the same man I was before. I've witnessed things far too disturbing to ever share with you. I... I know that you should be with someone better and I—"

Although still in a daze and sedated by the drugs, your thought process was still clear enough where you could be sure about this.

Reaching with a tentative hand for König's larger and rougher one, you squeezed it weakly, looking up at him with a heartfelt expression.

König smiled for the first time in ages.

Through that gesture alone, König knew that you forgave him.

He allowed his breathing to stabilise, wanting nothing more than to start over with you.

...

Note: MY FAT FUCIIJF FINGERS SLIPPED AND I POSTED THIS EARLIER THANI WAS SUPPOSED TO OJ MY GOD I AM AN IDIOT 🤡🤡

Edit next day: how tmdid this fet 100+ notes im sobbing 😭😭. thabk you everyone for readijg this angst fest!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

908 notes · View notes

bisexual-thoughtss · 1 year

Text

Spencer Reid x Reader

I know people are obsessed with dad!Spencer but this one is for my Spencer girlies who hate the idea of being pregnant and don't want kids (me, it's for me lmao)

It started simply enough, an offhand comment from someone at JJ’s baby shower, but it was enough to plant a seed of doubt in your mind.

“He’s going to be such a good dad,” the woman had smiled as she watched Spencer do a magic trick for Henry. You laughed it off, saying something about how much he loves Henry and ignoring the sinking feeling in your stomach. You know you don’t want kids, but you’ve never talked about it with Spencer. You’re not naive, you’ve seen Spencer with kids and it's clear that he would make a great dad. You’d gone on with your life but the thought sat in the back of your mind and every time someone else made the same comment it chipped away at you. Anytime there were kids, Spencer could be found entertaining them. He’s a kid at heart, so opportunities for comment were not rare.

It all came to a head when Michael was born, and you and Spencer went to visit JJ in the hospital.

Spencer was immediately handed the baby as you talked with JJ about how she was doing. Spencer beamed as Michael’s little hand grabbed his finger.

“Look how sweet! You two are gonna have the cutest little babies!” Penelope had squealed as she watched. You forced a smile as she rushed over to hold the baby, a pit of dread forming in your stomach. You visited with them for a while longer, taking your turn to hold and coo at Michael before you both took your leave to head home. You were a ball of anxiety in the car thinking about how to have this conversation with Spencer. The more you thought about it, the faster your leg shook nervously. Spencer’s hand found your knee, the warm weight grounding you for a second as he smiled at you before turning back to the road as the light turned green. Your stomach dropped thinking about that smile being wiped off his face by this conversation he didn’t even know was coming.

The car comes to a stop and you trudge inside, Spencer eyeing you skeptically as you take off your shoes.

“Are you okay?” He asks softly, pulling you to the couch so you can both sit down. You finally break under his gaze, tears welling up in your eyes and threatening to fall.

“Spencer, I’m sorry,” you mumble, watching his face scrunch in confusion.

“This isn’t going to work,” you force out.

“What isn’t?” He asks, his head cocking adorably.

“Us, Spencer,” you say quietly, your heart breaking as you watch his face drop.

“What? What are you talking about?” He asks, sounding panicky.

“I… I can’t give you the life you want, Spencer. I don’t want kids, I’m sorry. I should’ve told you this sooner. But everyone keeps saying you’re gonna be such a good dad, Spence. They're right and I can’t take that away from you,” you ramble, stopping when you notice him holding in laughter.

“Why are you smiling! I’m trying to break up with you for your own good and you’re laughing, what’s wrong with you?!” You ask, slightly hysterical laughter bubbling out of you.

“I love you so much,” he beams, only furthering your confusion.

“I love kids, I do. And I love being Uncle Spencer. But do you know what the best part about it is?” He asks, and you shake your head, “You get to give them back! You get all the fun parts and none of the sleepless nights or tantrums or rules. You get to be the fun one when they’re tired of their parents.”

“Yeah, but-“ you start before he stops you.

“I love my job, but you know I see the darkest parts of humanity every day. I don’t have any desire to bring kids into a world like this. I can’t imagine how worried I’d be all the time about something happening to them, it’s scary enough just worrying about you. And more than any of that, I love you. I don’t want to have or not have kids with anyone else,” he finishes, pulling you into a hug and you melt as the tension leaves your body.

“Sorry,” you sniffle, “I guess all the comments just sort of got to me.”

“You don’t have to apologize, we haven’t talked about it, how could you know? I didn’t know people had been saying stuff to you, you should’ve told me,” he tells you.

“Next time maybe talk to me before you try and break up with me, huh?” He jokes, trying to lighten your mood.

“You’re right, I went a little off the deep end. I got scared and I freaked out,” you laugh into his sweater. He snorts out a laugh at that, shifting you both so you can lie down together. You tuck yourself under his chin and yank the blanket off the back of the couch, prepared to tuck in for a little nap after the emotional rollercoaster you’d just been on.

“I love you, too,” You murmur as you drift off, his hands rubbing your back soothingly.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #dr spencer reid #dad!spencer #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds

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sstan-hoe · 2 years

Text

𝑺𝒆𝒙 𝒐𝒏 𝑳𝒆𝒈𝒔

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — boyfriends dad!andy barber x fem!reader

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — Andy and you fuck and almost get caught

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 — SMUT, slight breeding kink, p in v, unprotected sex (well readers on the pill), you fucking use protection in real life

𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 — please I hate this, I wanted to make a hot boyfriends dad!Andy fic where i cab make more parts and add characters and they have a gangbang and now look what came the fuck out. like, reblog and comment if you like!

A hand was clamped over your mouth to keep your moans from escaping as his hips thrusted inside you. Moving your body and causing that desk under you to shake.

Light creaks could be heard from the maple wood. The sound made you feel anxious that your boyfriend could hear the sins you did with his father. As if Andy could feel what went through your body his hand let go of your mouth and grazed your cheek.

"shh darling, don't worry he won't hear a thing. He's too busy playing that video game," his words were meant to smooth you.

However, knowing how Jake played his video game. First it all went normal, then he shouted into the headset, then got angry and then threw the headset on the ground.

In one of the last moments he could hear you.

"Andy what if he's searching for me after ending the game? What if he lost, got angry, stopped and put the headset away?"

"Darling I'm balls deep in you and while I enjoy the thought of getting caught, I'd appreciate if you stop talking about my son." your cheeks heated up and you were about to apologise when Andy thrusted full force inside you.

A high pitched moan flied your mouth, but in the last second Andy stuffed his fingers into your mouth.

"Just can't keep quite can you little girl?" Andy murmured against your ear. He loved the noises you made but it was dangerous when his son was in the house.

His hand pressed sharp circles on your clit. You could burning pleasure flood the pit of your lower stomache.

Andy felt you tighten your walls around his cock, he retrieved his fingers from your mouth. "you're gonna cum baby? Cum for your daddy like he asked you."

The wave of pleasure consumed you, stars forming in front of your eyes. Andy always had a way with words.

"Now, baby...mouth or pussy?" Andy asked as he slowed his movements, "pussy please...." With a smirk Andy picked up his movements. Knowing it was wrong to get off on the thought of seeing your round and swollen with his baby he couldn't help himself.

With a held back grunt Andy released his white seed inside you. "going to look so beautiful round and swollen with my baby."

"Yes, please fuck a baby into me daddy." You were going to kill him someday with this filthy mouth.

Andy came to a stop, his hands rested on either side next to your head. Supporting his weight above you, his lips capturing yours in bruising kiss. Your hands cradled his face keeping him close. His tongue darted between your lips, your tongues fought over dominance. You knew Andy would always win, he made you weak in so many ways.

A knock interrupted the intimate moment followed by Jake's voice cutting through. "Dad? Have you seen y/n, she said she would go to the kitchen but I checked there and she wasn't in."

You let go of Andy, eyes growing wide. The feeling of pleasure left and was replaced with panic.

"She went out to buy a few grocery, should be back soon!" Jake accepted Andy’s answer and went back to his video game.

Andy turned his face to you, instantly he wrapped his arms around you to help you calm down. "He almost caught us! Oh my god, how can you be so calm Andy?" You went to get of the desk but realised Andy’s dick was still in your cunt.

Without hesitation he pulled out knowing it would be better and help calming your nerves.

"Hey, hey its okay. Jake thinks you're not here...we're gonna take a bath now and then I will make up a lie about going to a friend while we're actually getting groceries!"

You looked at him, asking yourself if he was serious. This could have all been avoided. Yes you shouldn't have gotten involved with your boyfriend's dad but that man was sex on legs.

#andy barber imagine #andy barber x reader #andy barber #andy barber smut #andy barber x black!reader #andy barber x woc!reader #andy barber x y/n #andy barber x you #andy barber x female reader #andy barber fanfiction #andy barber fic #andy barber fluff #andy barber one shot #my husband andy barber🫂💍

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auteurdelabre · 5 months

Text

SOMETHING TO FIGHT FOR (SERIES) Part 15

Word Count: 1.6

Pairing: Dad!Joel Miller x f!reader (no use of y/n, no physical descriptions)

Warnings: fighting, violence. Wanna read the rest? Pinned post on my account has my masterlist!

AUTHORS NOTES: Comments and reblogs make me really happy. Thanks y'all for reading so far!

================================================

You, Tommy and Maria stand in the play area, looking out at the groups of children. Maria has followed you out here, seeing your splotchy face. She pulls you to the side, asking Tommy to watch the kids while you chat.

"You didn't tell me," Maria says lowly, her arms crossed.

"Tried to when you were here last time," you say swallowing. "Chickened out I guess."

"Kinda says something don't you think?"

"Yeah, that I didn't want my best friend saying shitty stuff about the guy I was getting married to,” you say, dropping your voice when a random child in the ball pit gives you a worried look. “You know how happy I was for you when you got engaged to Tommy?"

"Tommy is a fucking dream, he treats me amazing," Maria insists in a hush.

"The thing is Maria I was happy because you were happy," you explain. "I don't see why you couldn't be that for me."

Maria's mouth opens and closes, not ready for that.

"Paul isn't perfect," you relent. "But neither am I."

"I can't stop you from marrying Paul," Maria says after a moment, her eyes troubled. "And if you do, I will support you and love you. But we’ve been friends a lot time. You’re the person that I can be real with and ever since you got back things have been weird with you, and I get that, I really do. But I feel like you're rushing into things with Paul."

"I just want to be happy."

"But you're not you with him," Maria says softly. "I don't know who this person is, this meek woman who goes along with all his shit."

"Maybe this is me," you say in a defeated voice. "Maybe this was really me the whole time."

“I really hope that isn’t true,” Maria says.

And then she’s gone, rushing from you back into the restaurant and into the toilets. You know that she’s just waiting you out. Waiting until you leave so she doesn’t say something ugly here at her future niece’s party.

Tommy is quiet, his eyes troubled. He keeps darting looks from you to the kids and then back again.

“If you want to say something then say it,” you grind out, summarily furious with so many people at once that you can only breathe hot anger at everyone in your proximity.

Tommy turns facing you, about to speak when he pauses, his gaze dragging over your shoulder and through the window into the restaurant. His brows furrow.

And then it’s like you’re supposed to see it. A flash of movement catches your eye and you watch as Joel’s strong arm twists and his fist connects with Paul’s jaw. It’s like it all happens in slow motion because you can see every detail. The clench of Joel’s teeth, the fury in his dark eyes, the way his shoulder ripples under his shirt as his fist finds purchase.

And then life resumes its normal pace and Paul is on the ground.

“Watch Sarah,” you tell Tommy with wide eyes. “Don’t let her come inside for a sec.”

Paul is on the ground, his split lip bleeding heavily. Tess is standing with her hand balanced on a nearby table for balance. Her face is white and her eyes are owlish in her face.

"What the fuck - Paul are you okay?"

Joel’s eyes dart over to see you rushing in from the play area, your face horrified. He glances back down at Paul and realizes with a heavy heart that there is an understanding in Paul's eyes. A dark, ugly understanding because his lips curl into a knowing sneer, even as he wipes the blood from his mouth

"I'm fine, baby," Paul croons, his eyes still on Joel.

Joel wants to shrivel up and die at the look you’re giving him now. A mixture of horror and disgust crossing your normally gentle, soft features. You drop to your knees, your hand going to his mouth before you twist around to glare up at him

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Joel?”

Joel is so thankful Sarah is in the playroom with Tommy and Jessie. Having the horrified looks of you and Tess is enough for him to wish the ground would swallow him up whole. The back of his neck feels like it’s on fire.

"Think we should go,” Paul says, affecting a wince as you help him to a stand.

"I agree," you say in a huff.

Joel takes a step towards you instinctively, but you shoot daggers at him.

"Stay away from me," you hiss.

Joel can only watch in misery as Paul's hand slides down to cup your ass as you walk away. His eyes are so pained, his entire body cold with despair. When Tess comes up to him, her hand going to his cheek he pulls back sharply.

“Stop.”

“She’s gone, Joel.”

And there is a curl of victory in her mouth that he can’t see, but feel. She tries to hide it under concern and sadness. It makes him bristle, the way she can affect false emotions so easily. He scans her face and decides it’s now. No waiting.

“It’s over Tess,” Joel says flatly. “It’s been over for a while now and I think you know it. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.”

“Joel.”

“You did nothing wrong,” Joel assures her, not wanting to hurt her. “I just. . . I was never in all the way. Its my fault, Tess it is. Please don’t think it’s you.”

“You’re not serious,” Tess says, her hands stemming on her hips.

Maria has come back from the bathroom to find you and Paul gone and Tess and Joel at the start of what looks like a showdown. She considers leaving to give them privacy before she settles into a nearby chair, watching as she pretends to look through the photos in her camera.

“I am,” Joel says dimly. “I can’t be with you. Not when I’m. . . ”

He can’t finish it. Can’t say the words aloud because it already hurts to think them knowing now you’ll never be his. He looks wounded, his eyes trailing to the door that you exited through minutes before.

“You’re kidding,” Tess says, her head shaking. “For fucks’ sake, she’s engaged Joel. And honestly now I’m glad I said what I did to her. I knew that this would end up bad for Sarah and for-“

Joel’s eyes aren’t wounded anymore. They’ve gone sharp and they slice through the air to land on Tess’ features.

“What?” Joel’s voice is quiet. Dangerous.

Tess doesn’t realize the danger though. She stands there confidently digging away at him, ignoring Tommy who has seen the tension and comes into the restaurant looking concerned. Maria waves him over to her, silently telling him to shut up with a finger over his mouth as he takes a seat next to her.

“What did you say to her exactly?” Joel is demanding of Tess.

“I told her to back off a bit,” Tess says crossly. “Give me some time to bond with Sarah. I knew she wasn’t going to stick around and-“

Maria nearly leaps off her chair, held back by Tommy.

Joel recalls the way you’d backed off moments earlier, silently urging Tess to take your place with Sarah and a bitter fury that he can almost taste goes through him. His hands are in fists, his spine straightening as he towers over Tess.

“You told that sweet woman to stay away from my daughter?” Joel says in a voice so deep Tess visibly twitches. “You took a person my daughter loves and tried to isolate them from each other? You thought that was a good thing? A kind thing to do to Sarah?”

Joel doesn’t notice Maria behind held back by Tommy until her voice rings out from behind Tess, startling her.

“How dare you do that?” Maria shouts, angry tears starting in her eyes as her fiancé holds her arms, stopping her from swinging at the taller woman. “You selfish fucking bitch!”

“Maria,” Tommy warns because people are starting to look over from their Big Macs and Cokes. Tess looks chagrined at the unwanted attention, coming to step closer to Joel. She lowers her voice, her eyes on his.

“I love Sarah, Joel.”

“No.” Joel shakes his head. He points in the direction that you left, all but shouting your name in her face. “Her. She loves Sarah. She would do anything for Sarah, even listen to you because she thinks that’s what’s Sarah needs. Because that’s love. But she doesn’t realize that Sarah doesn’t need you. All Sarah needs is her and me.”

Tommy feels Maria jerk back at this, her eyes wide at Joel’s words. He peers into Maria’s face to see tear running down her cheeks but she’s smiling. He holds her, folding her against him.

Joel knows he’s shouting and feels too angry to care, but he also knows that he doesn’t want to start a scene. He gives Tess a disgusted look, shaking his head. He just wants her out of his sight, out of his life.

“Get the fuck outta here, Tess.”

He wants the entire world to fuck off so he can just go lie down and mourn the fact that you’re growing further and further from him.

“Excuse me?”

“I said get the fuck out of here,” Joel says, emphasizing each syllable with crisp and aggressive tilts. “And don’t you dare talk to Sarah. Just get your kid and your shit and go.”

Tommy and Maria are standing there awkwardly watching this interaction. Maria is looking at Joel like he’s something out a Marvel comic whereas Tommy just looks horrified at the way Tess isn’t backing down.

“Joel,” Tess says, swallowing nervously. “C’mon now, we can work on this, it’s-“

“Don’t make me say shit I’m gonna regret Tess,” Joel warns. “Please. I’m not in the mood. Just fucking go. We’re done.”

He turns, busying himself with packing the rest of Sarah’s gifts into the bag he brought. He can’t stop thinking about you and that look on your face. But apparently Tess isn’t going down without a fight before she grips Joel by the shoulder, forcing his attention to her. He shrugs her off, appraising her coolly.

“So what, you’re gonna run off after a practically married woman Joel?” Tess defends. “Or are you gonna do what you did with Michelle and pine for a few years and then just pretend she didn’t exist?”

Tommy jerks forward and now it’s Maria holding him back. “You watch your fucking mouth.”

“She didn’t pick you,” Tess jeers at Joel, ignoring the couple behind her. “She picked Paul. I’m still here and –“

“And you aren’t her,” Joel jabs back, his voice like a thunderstorm. Tess is halfway through her rant when Joel’s words settle in her mind and she stops with her light eyes widening.

“You aren’t her,” Joel repeats icily. “You never were. You never can be. So just fuck off and don’t contact me or my kid again.”

It’s an ugly thing to say, and he realizes this the minute the words leave his mouth. He wants to feel bad but he’s so fucking angry at Tess for saying what she did. So furious that anyone would want to sever that connection for their own advantage.

Maria and Tommy are standing glaring at Tess and now Sarah has rushed in from the play area, flushed and happy looking, oblivious to what’s happened. She scans the room for you, calling your name before glancing up at Joel.

“Where is she daddy?” she asks.

Tess lets out a scoffing sound of disgust before gathering her purse over her arm.

Maria urges Sarah away with the suggestion of taking some photos outside in the sunshine with the digital camera. Sarah so is over the moon with this idea she doesn’t even notice when Tess retrieves Daniel from the play area and exits rapidly, her heels clicking angrily as she goes.

Tommy approaches his brother, realizing now is as good a time as any. His brother is high strung, each muscle tense.

"I've tried to stay outta things Joel," Tommy says, his head tilted to the ground. He's always felt inferior to his older brother and giving Joel advice feels foreign. "You always looked out for me so I wanna look out for you. She loves you, man. And she's gonna marry that fucking musician if you don't get your head outta your ass and just tell her."

Joel steps back from the table to look at Tommy. He does so without malice, but also without emotion left in his dark eyes.

"She doesn’t love me, Tommy,” Joel says without energy in his voice. “Don’t know that she ever did.”

“But you love her.”

“Yep.”

“Have for a long time.”

“Yep.”

“So fight for her, then.”

Joel slants an exasperated look at his brother. The brother who always fought, the one who Joel continually had to bail out of jail. Fighting isn’t what Joel does. When he does, things like punching Paul happen. Things that drive the people he loves away.

“It’s not really love if you have to force it,” Joel finally answers. “She made her choice and I want her to be happy. And after today Tommy, I really don’t wanna talk about it.”

Tommy stares at his brother for a moment, taking in the hollowness of the eyes, the defeated slump to his shoulder. He realizes that Tess for all her horrible comments hit the nail on the head. Already Joel is shutting things out, thinking of how to erase you from his life. If he doesn’t talk about you, it’s a good start.

“Why don’t you fight for things anymore?” Tommy asks, devastated to see this shell of his brother. “You used to-“

“Because I don’t deserve them,” Joel tells his brother flatly, stopping all further conversation. “Now please, let’s just go home.”

///

You're vibrating with anger right now.

What the fuck just happened? Why would Joel punch Paul? Thank Christ Sarah had been distracted in the play area.

You glance over at your fiancé, feeling a wave of guilt go through you. Paul’s sitting next to you in the car, driving but one hand is on yours. His jaw is swollen and you wonder if something is broken.

"He just punched you out of nowhere?" you ask for the third time since you started driving home. You're so shocked by this development that you’re having trouble processing. One minute you’re looking at photos and realizing that maybe there is something there with Joel and the next second the man is slugging Paul for no reason.

"I told you, I just thanked him for letting you spend time with Sarah," Paul shrugs. "Maybe he didn't like that I was there at the party?"

Or that you're engaged.

"I should call him," you consider pulling out your phone and screaming at Joel right now. You're so fucking angry at him. How is this friendship? How can you be in each other's lives if he does shit like this?

"Baby, no," Paul insists. "Look, I'm fine. Guy was just having a hard day."

You feel a wave of affection go through you at Paul's words. So understanding even after being punched in the face for no reason.

"It's no excuse."

Paul shrugs the picture of unbothered and for a moment you feel like you can relax. "But I don't know how comfortable I am with you babysitting for him."

Your brows crumple. "What?"

"I just, I don't really feel comfortable with you being around him. Now that I know he's violent."

"Joel isn't-" you start, pausing only when Paul slants you a meaningful look, motioning to his swollen jaw.

You look at all of this and you think of Tess words and the way Joel kissed you and it all bundles together to spell it out in bright neon letters: you and Joel need to stay away from each other.

"Okay."

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brayneworms · 7 months

Text

cold as ice, baby | hinata hajime

kinktober day one: fingering

word count. 2.9k

content. MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI, trans!hinata, gender neutral reader, fingering, established but new relationship, kissing, no real power dynamics but hinata likes being in control, biting, reader doesn't get touched but it's implied at the end

♪ freak - lana del rey.

kinktober mlist | regular mlist

Some days, Hajime's self-loathing is no joke.

It feels like the heat in Jabberwock intensifies it sometimes. Sort of... bastes it. Like it's cooking in its own filthy greasy residue and making him feel all oily and gross and hot. So, so hot. Under that stupid sun he cooks, and he sweats, and he feels like they can all smell it on him.

Probably not though. He showers every day, and nobody gets close enough to try.

It makes him feel a little sick, is all. How much he wants you sometimes. He feels gross, barely a step above Hanamura or maybe worse. He feels like he should go to jail sometimes for the way he ogles you. It's a hot island, so sometimes you have so much skin out, shoulders and legs, gleaming from sunblock lotion, slightly tacky from the whitish paste. Or the sea salt in your hair, or the chapstick you'd loaned from Saionji on your lips, apple and cinnamon. Or the swimsuits. Hajime's mouth goes dry.

He does not want to think about you in swimwear. Because then he's not going to stop thinking about you in swimwear, and it'll lead somewhere bad, which is the whole fucking issue, really.

You're so new, the both of you. He's liked you for ages, but you've only been official for a month or so. He can't just pounce on you like a starving lion. Even though he wants to. Even though he really, really wants to.

He watches you sit cross-legged with Tanaka to feed his hamsters, or get a piggyback from Owari with her strong hands on your thighs, or sit down and braid Ibuki's hair into loving little plaits, your fingers skating over the pale skin of her neck and scalp.

And it does something to him. He imagines your hands, smoothing down the tawny skin of his arms, his waist, encircling his ankles, gripping his throat, buried in his hair. He looks at your fingers and imagines them balling up the stupid standard-issue bedsheets underneath you. He sees you stretch out your legs and sees them bent in half, over his shoulders, around his waist like a vice, your pretty eyes clenched shut, your pretty mouth hung open.

Heat pools in the pit of his stomach.

Avoiding you and taking a lot of cold—unforgivingly cold—showers makes for a good temporary solution, but oh look, hasn't he just shot himself in the foot and scored a home goal with it? Because it just means you come knocking on his cabin door looking for answers.

At night.

When everyone's asleep, and you're alone, and he's only wearing his boxers because of this stupid perpetual heat.

"Have I done something wrong?" you ask, your voice all small and hurt, and Hajime wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole.

"No! Nonono," he blurts out in a panic, and he steps aside to let you in like a moron, like the idiot he so clearly is. It's not the first time you've been in his cabin, obviously, but it's night and you look all soft and vulnerable and he thinks you're freshly showered because he can smell the coconut bodywash you like to use.

But then reality breaks through because you look—honestly hurt, crossing your arms and shifting your weight from foot to foot, avoiding his eye, and then Hajime mostly just feels like a huge piece of shit.

"I'm sorry," he sighs, and pushes the heels of his hands into his eyes in a gesture of weariness. "It's—it really isn't anything you, uh, did. It's me. I'm just... weird."

"Weird about what?" you press, stepping forward. "C'mon, you can tell me. Whatever it is, we can just... talk it out."

You're so sweet. "It's—uh, honestly, it's just kinda really embarrassing. And stupid. And... weird. And I really don't wanna weird you out, or like, make you think I'm... something I'm not, 'cause I'm not, like, the thing that you're gonna think I am but I just—"

"Hajime." Your hands on his shoulders, clamping down. The warm soft skin dimples between your fingers. Hajime's voice dies in his throat. He stares on, cheeks cherry-red, entirely too hot, sweat collecting unpleasantly on the nape of his neck. "I can guarantee nothing you tell me is going to freak me out, or whatever it is you're scared of. And I can see it's clearly... weighing down on you."

You're so nice. Weighing down on you is such a nice choice of words. In reality he probably looks constipated from stress.

"It's just—" His tongue flicks out nervously to wet his lips, and your eyes absently flit down to track the movement, oh fuck, "It's just..." Bad idea bad idea bad idea. "I kind of... I don't want to come on too strong and... scare you off."

Your brow knits; he thinks he sees some sort of understanding fall into place behind your eyes, but it's kind of distant. "Come on too strong how?"

His blush spreads from his cheeks to the tip of his ears, down his neck. "I... ahaha..." The nervous breathless stupid laugh he gives makes him want to strangle himself. "Y-you know. When I'm around you, I..." He swallows hard. "It—I can't help but think about... stuff I shouldn't."

He sees the moment it clicks into place for you; the slight widening of your eyes, the parting of your lips. "A-ah."

Mortification floods him like a tsunami. "Sorry! Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I never should've—" He's burning alive, he's actually baking like one of Hanamaru's luxury strips of meat that he slowcooks in the oven for hours on end so the whole hotel building ends up stinking of fucking, chicken and stock and rosemary all day—

"Hajime, hey." Your hands squeeze on his shoulders. "Just—breathe for a sec, please, you're freaking me out but not for the reasons you think you are."

Hajime gulps, eyes you nervously, and takes in a few desperate pulls of air. He feels small, like he's actively shrinking.

"First of all. It's not... like, weird, you know, to f-feel that kind of stuff in general," you say, incredibly haltingly like it's very awkward for you. "But it's even less weird when you're actually, you know, in a relationship, and I—I don't want you to feel weird about this, that's all, or about telling me when you're—you know. Because I'd be down. I mean, to help. Assuming that's what you want, I mean."

Hajime stares at you. His brain abruptly throws up its hands, bluescreens, and goes for a smoke break.

"Wha—wha?" he says intelligently. You smile fondly, the kind of smile that reminds Hajime why he fell in love with you in the first place.

"Do you want me to help you out?" you repeat, very clearly, and Hajime buries his face in his hands. Heat shoots through him like liquid lightning, illuminating every pore of his body. He can feel it gather between his legs.

"You don't have to," he mutters, heart thumping against his ribcage.

"Hajime," you say pleasantly. "D'you think you're the only one who's had to hold themselves back?"

It's pure, unadulterated shock that makes him lift his face out his hands to gawp at you, but the moment he does you cup his face with both of your hands and kiss him. He wonders if you can feel the heat of his burning skin on your palms, whether you care, and then your tongue is in his mouth and he stops wondering anything at all. He groans softly against your lips, and finally his useless hands move and he's grabbing, curling a fistful of your shirt in one hand and cupping the back of your neck with the other. He feels like he's been depriving himself of you for so long, and for fucking what? You feel incredible.

He walks you backwards until your knees his the frame of his bed and you're unseated with an undignified yelp. You bounce on the mattress, peering up at him. Hajime swallows hard. "Is this... okay? We don't have to—anything you want, God, anything—"

You put two hands on his waist, just above the waistline of his boxers, and Hajime stammers to a halt. He gazes at you, wide-eyed, brilliantly red. You press your lips to the skin just under his navel and his stomach sort of convulses at the sensitivity, and you keep going, down the trail of hair that disappears behind the waistband of his underwear, kissing over the fabric until you get to—

Hajime jolts and swears. His hands clench reflexively into fists at his side. "Lay down," he bursts out, and then flushes deeper. "Uh... please. If you want to. I—"

You giggle and pry your hands off him, leaving him feeling colder than ever. Hajime watches, mouth dry as you drape yourself lazily over his bed. Your sleep short ride up your thighs, the collar of your shirt dips down, and all the skin is making his head dizzy. He clambers over you a little clumsily, hitting your knee with his with a thud that makes you wince.

"Sorry!" he panicks, hands fluttering nervously over your leg. "Sorry, did that—that was an accident, I—"

"It's okay, it's okay," you laugh, the back of your hand covering your mouth. "Jeez, Hajime. Relax a little maybe."

His flush must be crawling down his chest at this point. "Yeah. Maybe." He glances around. "Kind of hard."

"Is it?" you ask with a pointed glance at his boxers. He groans, but the levity is extremely welcome, makes him feel less anxious. Reminds him it's just you, and you would never seriously laugh at him. Reminds him that he's safe.

"Is it okay if I'm—I mean." He wipes his clammy palms surreptitiously over his thighs. "I feel better when I'm more... in control. Y'know?"

You smile up at him. "That's fine with me. Are you going to boss me around now?"

Hajime laughs feebly, glancing away. He thinks it's a reasonable pretense that the idea doesn't make him ten times wetter.

He kneels between your legs and kisses you. You're so soft, skin warm and pliant and fresh from the shower. He can't hold back a moan when your tongue slips against his, and when your hand slides over his waist again, the pinky finger of your hand grazing the band of his underwear, he finally plucks up the courage to grab your wrist and drag it.

He lets out a choked sound into your mouth as your pliant hand slides between his legs. Pulling back from the kiss, panting hotly against your mouth. "Okay?" he asks hoarsely. "Please, oh my god, I need... only if you want, only if you want to..."

Your hand twitches to life inside the tight grip of his fist, and you skim your fingers over the wet spot of the fabric of his underwear.

Hajime shudders, dropping his head into the crook of your shoulder. "Ah... oh, fuck..." His shaking hand drops your wrist, reprimanding himself fiercely for maybe grabbing you too hard, but you didn't say anything, but he shouldn't just grab you and lead you like you're cattle, he opens his mouth to apologise when you cup his cunt through his boxers and he loses the ability to do anything at all. Anything other than moan into your skin, starting to get salty from the heat and the proximity, and he goes delirious with the idea that he's ruining you a little. Like you've just showered, you'd scrubbed your body all over with lovely scented soap and he's going to undo it methodically, deliberately, and you're going to let him, when it's all over you're going to smell like sweat and him and you'll have to clean all over again.

It's an intoxicating thought, the idea that someone as soft as you would let someone like him mess you up.

Your hand slips under the waistband of his underwear, follows the trail of hair down and finding him soft and hot and dripping wet. Hajime curses as your fingers skate almost curiously over his clit, his folds.

"Oh shit," you curse, mumbling almost more to yourself. "Y-you're so wet."

He makes a high, embarrassed noise in the back of his throat, eyes clenched shut, and his hips rock up into your hand in a gesture that feels inherently needy.

Despite his grossly obvious urgency, you take the time to bring your fingers back to your mouth and press them inside. Hajime watches, slack-jawed, pupils blown. When you take your fingers out, they're gleaming wet, and you grin at him. "You taste amazing."

Hajime is assaulted with all new images; your head between his legs, his hand on the top of your hair or tangled in your hair. Your tongue, soft and skilled against him, dripping spit and cum onto the carpet, and he has to stuff his knuckles in his mouth to stop himself moaning out loud. Sweat drips off his forehead and lands on your chest.

"Y/n," he croaks. "I'm gonna lose my mind."

You smile almost shyly, as if you didn't just have your fingers in your mouth right in front of him. "O-okay. Okay. Just, um... okay, I got it."

Hajime swallows hard. "Y-you're still sure?"

"I'm so sure," you tell him earnestly. And with that your hand glides down, over his collarbones, the twin scars arching beneath his breastbone, down his tense stomach and under his boxers again. This time, your fingers move with purpose. They roll over his clit and down the centre of his folds, parting them, dipping inside just slightly before coming back up. He feels a shivering mix of pain and pleasure as two of your fingers circle his clit, an indication that he's almost too sensitive; he feels like he's on fire, like forks of lightning are emanating from the vertice between his legs, and he lets out choked, high noises against your throat.

Mindlessly, it seems, his hips roll against your head, seeking something more. You take the initiative to prod with one finger, dipping lower from the other before teasing at his entrance. His thighs shake and part slightly for you, and you slip inside without another word.

The breach feels like breathing for the first time; he's so wet and so sensitive that you slide inside with barely a hint of pain, easing in up to the first knuckle.

"Ohhh god," he groans, feeling mindless, feeling weightless. "Ohgodohgodohgod..."

"What should I—"

"More," he nearly begs. "I want you inside."

The word should be embarrassing, but they just aren't. Not in front of you. You get your finger in slowly, inch by inch until your knuckles press up against him and he's clenching the sheets with his free hands.

He almost convulses when your finger curls up like it's searching for something; it presses against a spongey spot inside him and he whines from somewhere deep in his chest, and he hears you swear to yourself as you start moving in and out.

"Nngh, oh—hah..."

Oh he's gonna die. Your fingers are inside him. He's gonna fuckin' die—

One turns to two turns to three, your thumb rolling constant circles over his clit, sometimes catching so sensitively that he has to bite back whimpers. There's the stretch and the burn but even that is okay, feels good after a few moments. He feels distantly really bad that he's not touching you, but he will after, fucking hell he will after, whatever you want him to, he'd kiss the fuckin' ground you walk on for making him feel so good right now. All too soon he feels the familiar tightening in his stomach like a band.

"H-hey," he gasps out. "I think I—I'm c-close, so..."

"O-oh," you say, sounding equally breathless. "It's okay."

Your fingers push up into him, curling almost viciously into that spot inside him just as your other hand taps his jaw and guides his face to yours for a kiss. It's barely more than panting against each other's lips as your thumb presses down hard on his clit.

"Fuck, fuck," he cries. "Fuck, you're so fuckin'—so perfect—'m cumming, shit—"

He sobs out as he cums, alight from the inside out, shaking like he's just been hit by lightning. The pressure is so much that he needs an outlet, his finges pressing bruising marks into your hip and thigh, and he turns his head and bites down almost feverishly on your collarbone.

You tap his arm with a yelp, fingers jerking inside him as he starts to come down. He can feel his release dripping down his inner thighs and he lifts his head groggily.

"Shit," he mumbles eloquently, staring at the teeth mark on your skin. He didn't break skin, thank fuck, but he still feels mortified. "Sorry. Oh my god, sorry. That was—that was a total accident, I..."

"Ah, it—it's okay." You swallow hard. "Was that..."

Hajime shakes his head dazedly. "Amazing," he croaks. "Y-you're amazing." He gets the werewithal to roll off you with his shaking limbs so his weight isn't pushing into you anymore.

You let out a long, slow breath. "Was pretty amazing for me too."

Hajime glances at you with a trickle of amusememt. "Not yet it wasn't."

Your brow scrunches in confusion—but realisation dawns when you feel his hand slide up your thigh. In his eyes is a question, one that you nod hastily to. Hajime grins weakly.

"Good," he breathes. "As soon as I get my breath back, it's your turn." And it sounds like the sweetest thing ever when he adds, a moment later with a twist of that characteristic cockiness that leaps out at the most inopportune of moments: "I can't wait to see how pretty you're gonna look when I make you cum."

#🫀.scribes #danganronpa smut #sdr2 smut #hajime hinata smut #hajime hinata x reader #danganronpa x reader #sdr2 x reader #hajime smut #hinata smut #sdr2 oneshot #danganronpa oneshot #kinktober 2023

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sebastianwallows · 1 year

Text

You Can Always Learn

Ominis Gaunt x Reader

Summary - Anon request for "How about a private moment or two where Ominis says he doesn't understand the point in trying to dance since he can't see it anyway. So you decide to help him by getting as close as possible and having him follow your movements with his hands on your body as you move"

Word Count - 832

Warnings - none

The Yule ball was coming up and it gave Ominis a pit in his stomach. You deserved to go and enjoy the once in a lifetime opportunity. Not only would he not be able to appreciate your efforts into your appearance, but he feared he wouldn't be able to properly dance with you either.

He had been telling Sebastian to take you in his stead. He didn't want to embarrass you or himself, but he didn't think he could handle knowing Sebastian was taking his place all night.

That's how you found him in the Undercroft. He looked sad and distant.

You thought you could cheer him up by telling about the dress clothes shopping you had gotten done in Hogsmeade. You were so excited to describe everything you tried on to him, but your real selection you were planning on keeping a secret.

You took a seat next to him and grabbed his hands excitedly, "Ominis there were so many beautiful options. I looked really silly in the really extravagant ones. Surprisingly bright mustard yellow and ornate lace isn't for me," you teased. You frowned at the small smile he threw at you.

"What's wrong? I don't want to talk about myself while you're sad."

He sighed deeply and dropped his chin to his chest, "I don't know if I can go to the ball with you." His voice was soft and melancholy. It made your feel like it was about to break.

"What? What are you talking about?"

He turned his gaze to you and cupped your cheek, "Y/N. I won't be able to give the experience you deserve. You'll be stuck on the sidelines all night because of me. You deserve a spotlight in the middle of the floor."

You raised your eyebrows at him, placing your hand of his, "Ominis, is this because there's the coordinated dancing? I don't care about any of that. It wouldn't mean anything to be there without you."

"I don't want to be embarrassment. And I want you to shine like you always do wherever you go. Even if it's not dressed in yellow." You laughed at his sheepish expression.

"You could never embarrass me more than I already embarrass myself on a daily basis. I don't expect you to do anything you don't want to, including dancing if you're too nervous. But if you want to try we can practice down here."

For a moment he looked at you terrified, "I - I don't want you to see me looking stupid."

"Ominis. You won't look any worse than any of the other boys stepping on the professor's toes even as they stare right at them."

"Well, I would like to think that if I could see then that wouldn't happen."

"Then you're already the strides ahead of them all since you actually care."

You tugged at his arms to pull him up, "Come on, I'm not gonna make fun of you. I want to teach you so you can wipe that grim look off of your face. You're too pretty it doesn't suit you." You pinched his cheek and grinned at him turning pink.

You led him to an area of the room that had the most open space.

"Okay, so if you want to put both of your hands on my hips to help feel the movement that's okay. I think your hands are the easiest part to figure out later."

He grabbed you firmly where your hips met your thigh, rubbing gentle circle with his thumb as he pulled you much closer. The proximity and determined look on his face took your breath away.

You bite your lip and tell him you love him which makes him smile.

"I'm not a professional here, but I've watched everyone else so I think I have a good enough idea to teach you. I'll start out really slow and count for you, so if you can try to follow where my foot is going, maybe by keeping your toes on mine you can feel the directions."

He nodded, looking down completely focused. You started to count, with no particular rhythm, but to help him get the hang of the movements themselves.

You were surprised at how easy he seemed to pick it up, how natural it felt with him. It was way better than the practice partner you had been stuck with. You started to count and hum the music between steps, easing in to a comfortable loop with Ominis.

You had kept your eyes on the steps, hyper-focused on making sure you were doing it correctly yourself until you looked up and saw a peaceful expression on his face.

He leaned his forehead into yours and place met your lips in a tender kiss. He massaged his fingers into our hips while he slid his other hand up your side and down your arm before pulling your hand off of his shoulder into into his own.

"Maybe this won't be so bad."

#ominis guant #ominis #ominis x reader #ominis gaunt x reader #ominis x mc #ominis gaunt x mc #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy x reader #hogwarts legacy x mc

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zyonsay · 26 days

Note

Hey I wanted to ask if you could write a Yuki Tsunoda X male reader smut? :)

Maybe where the reader helps Yuki steam off after a bad race or something Yknow? I'm sorry I'm not that creative with ideas 😭

I hope you can make sense of it haha And if you don't want to write for him that's okay as well<3 (or if I didn't saw his name in the list for the people you don't write for, I apologise)

Pearl Necklace YT22

fem aligned people may read but not f3tishize my work!!

Summary: Maybe he needs to blow off some steam

Reader: Male

Warnings: NSFW, Choking, Biting, Blood (Everything is consensual)

Now playing: 'Take me to Church' by Hozier

AN: Hello guys! This took longer than expected haha, but im kinda happy with the outcome. idk its 1 in the morning so i might be wrong lol. But anyways, first Yuki content on my blog!! love that <3 This somehow has me thinking of vampire Yuki......

Gloves flew through the garage, one landed on a stack of tires the other fell to the ground and was left there. He ran a hand trough his black strands, muttering something while walking down the pit lane. Some worried looks were thrown his way, but that only made him angrier. He didn’t need any pity, who did they think he was? He could swear that he felt his blood blubber and boil in his veins.

While fidgeting with the baseball cap in your hands, you closely watch the screen, a camera was being shoved in Yuki’s face. God, this feels like watching some stupid drama show and not a sports program. His now ungloved hands were balled into fists and his expression looked sour, or at least the look in his eyes did, since he was still wearing his helmet. With a swift movement Yuki escaped the media and made a run for the team hospitality, where you had been waiting for him. You would’ve watched the race from the pit wall, but a terrible headache had come over you. The sun was cruelly shining, and your headache just got worse, so you retreated inside to take some meds.

The door was closed, not so gently though. You heard muffled steps and the low rumble of your boyfriend. He was easygoing and a fun guy for sure, but he was also very critical of himself. Whenever he didn’t place well, Yuki always thought that it was his fault alone. A few moments pass and a head of raven hair peeked trough the door. With little to no care he slid of his shoes and kicked them aside before taking a few quick steps towards you. Knowing how he must feel you rushed off your chair and immediately into his arms. “Hey there.” The whisper that fell from your lips was very quiet, only you two could hear it. Well, there weren’t many people around anyways, but you still kept your voice low. His shoulders were tense and maybe it was your imagination, but he seemed to be shaking with anger. “I don’t wanna think about this bullshit right now.” Yuki scoffed slightly, his silky black hair was messed up from the balaclava and his eyes darted around the room in a nervous manner. He slid one of his hands behind your neck, like a threatening snake, but you know that he’ll always be careful with you. With a swift motion, he had pulled you into a kiss. It was hungry, even starving. There was a longing sensation in the way his breath trickled down your cheek, he wasn’t begging. He was demanding.

A soft gasp fell from your lips, then a small hum of pleasure slipped out too. His eyes darted up to yours, it almost seemed as if his pupils were dilated like a cat who had just discovered it’s prey. His hand came up from underneath your shirt and gripped your throat. Yuki’s body was pressed against yours, squishing you in between his warmth and the door of his driver’s room. Your blood was stirring and swirling around your veins, a tingly feeling had sat itself in your stomach. Admittedly, you felt bad for Yuki but something about him being furious is so irresistible. The thoughts in your head were shushed away by the growing feeling of dizziness, his hand hadn’t left your neck yet and you were struggling to get any air. A smile tugged at his lips, before he loosened his grip and pressed a few kisses along your jaw. Heavy breaths made your chest heave and sink, you gently pushed your boyfriend backwards. Your gaze darted towards his dark eyes. They were almost completely black, only from very close up you could see a hint of brown in them.

The back of Yuki’s legs hit his chair, which was pulled out from underneath the desk. He reached back and scooched the chair closer to him, and then sat down. He tauntingly tilted his head, waiting for your next move. His eyes were trained on yours, it almost seemed as if he was testing you. But you weren’t gonna let him have this. You too tilted your head, keeping eye contact with him. The driver’s rooms are small, so only a few steps were enough for you to stand right in front of him. His dark lashes fluttered while his characteristic smile spread over his face. “Come here.”, he whispered while gesturing to his lap. You were about to swing your leg over his, as he quickly turned around you your back was pressed closely to his chest. He reached around your torso and began unbuckling your belt. His lips lingered over your neck; his breath felt awfully hot on your skin. Yuki’s soft kisses quickly turned into love bites and his hand was teasing you trough your underwear. This was too much and too little at once, you could’ve exploded right there. In a swift motion, he had pulled down your boxers. The cold air hit your member and a shiver ran down your back, this made Yuki smile, you could feel it on your neck. His left hand massaged your thigh while his other one gently took your cock and began stroking it slowly. Way too slowly. Out of desperation you bucked into his hand, earning you a chuckle and a light slap on your thigh. A sweet whine escaped your throat, and you leaned your head back against Yuki’s shoulder. Your boyfriend hummed in approval, “Does that feel good?” Yes, it did. God, it was fucking incredible. Caught in a haze, you could only stammer out what seemed to resemble a weak ‘yes’. Soon after he sped up his movement, tightening his grip around your dick slightly, shortly after being rewarded loud gasps from you. He was enjoying this scene, it put him at ease. You were melting like putty in his hands, in moments like these he could do anything with you. This sense of control pleased him tremendously, but this was a mutual game.

Yuki bit down on your shoulder, leaving deep teeth marks in your skin. One day you would have to get those trending bitemark tattoos for sure. But for now, the pulsing raspberry redness was more than enough. Once again, he sped up and kept kissing your now sensitive, irritated skin. A hot, sweet feeling was pooling in your stomach. A stinging sharp pain surged through your neck. And before you knew-

-it had stopped. Yuki’s teeth were sunken deep into your skin, when he let off small droplets of blood began pooling in the dents his teeth had left. They were crimson red and looked like beautiful red pearls. You whined and winded in his touch, from pain, frustration but mostly from want. He delicately hummed before gently licking a long stripe from your shoulder up to your jaw, savoring the iron-like taste of your blood. “Love you.”, he whispered before he began jerking you off again.

#zyonsmail=͟͟͞͞ ✉#welcome to zyons rubber room #yuki tsunoda #yuki tsunoda x reader #yuki tsunoda x male reader #x male reader #male reader insert #male reader #male!reader #male x male #f1 x reader #f1 x male reader #f1 fanfic #reader insert #gay #f1 fic #x reader

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dontmixpaintinyourcoffee · 1 year

Text

EAH was one of my very favorite cartoons as a kid, and I've been enjoying it's renaissance very much, so REDESIGNS!!! (I've done a bunch over a couple months and put them on Instagram, but I figured I'd move them here cause Instagram sucks, so if you've seen them before over there that's why)

I think the original designs are aesthetically pleasing, but they're not super practical for the characters- case in point! Gay icon Darling Charming

I'm gonna put all my design notes under the cut so if you don't care about that carry on, have a nice day

Darlings original design is fun, but it doesn't serve an obvious purpose, at least not that I can see. She clearly wears armor on the outside of her outfit, the Marie Antoinette poof is a bit strange to me, and she has very little visually tying her to Dexter and Daring. I wanted to emphasize her secrecy, but also her passion for puzzle solving, riddles, combat tactics, ect. when she's around the people she trusts (as if the queer metaphor wasn't obvious enough)

Here are some details that just make me happy

-First, the hair. I knew I wanted to give the White Knight a more unique look, and I wanted to simplify it overall. I LOVE the original armor, but it would be a huge pain to animate, and I don't have the patience for that, so I went for a masquerade-ball-three-musketeers-vibe. The braided bun is still a fancy, regal style, but it's a lot easier for her to manage in her uniform

-I tried to synthesize the color schemes of the Charming siblings. They all have a pit of yellow, a bit of pinkish red, a bit of blue. The twins lean heavy into yellow and blue, with splashes of red where thematically appropriate. Darling doesn't really communicate with Daring much, so she has the least amount of red. I think having more muted colors in comparison to her brothers also emphasizes the fact that she's hiding herself. She is very much defying her family with her ambitions, and she has to work hard to keep it under wraps. Sort of related, I gave her a tooth gap, because it's a cute design detail, but also to act as a "flaw" to contrast with Daring. Daring's primary physical trait is his ungodly perfect teeth, so I thought it'd be fun to give her an "imperfect" trait, like Dexter and his glasses. There's nothing actually wrong with them, but it's a failure to reach the insane expectations that the Charming family has cultivated over the generations. Basically the Charmings are petty and I feel bad for the youngest generation.

-Speaking of concealment! There are a couple bits that I thought would be fun to hide throughout her outfit. First, the skirt is flowy enough and the shirt is positioned just right so that you can't tell, but she has pieces of leather armor on at all times. She saves the plates for wonderland. She also wears gloves to hide the callouses on her fingers from swordfighting! She also probably keeps knives in her hair somewhere. Pulling a small switchblade out of the base of her bun just seems like something she would do

-Final thing, I gave her a scar! From what I can tell, she's always been very rough-and-tumble, so I gave her a scar over her brow. She likes to pretend it's from a Mysterious Incident to mess with her friends, but really she was wrestling Daring when they were like, 4 and 6, and she bonked her face into a table. She got over it real fast, but Daring got a long lecture about it, and that's when he started getting over-protective about her

#eah headcanons #eah #ever after high #ever after high art #eah fanart #darling charming #eah redesign #coffeepaintart #yes I have thought about this cartoon for children designed to sell dolls from almost a decade ago for far too long why do you ask

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seokmthw · 11 months

Text

nightmares | park gunwook

⇢ pairing: gunwook x reader

⇢ warnings: fluff

⇢ word count: 700

prompt #14 "please don't cry, we're both here and we're both fine"

⇢ note: writing for gunwook is so lovely but can you guys believe this is one of the only requests i have for him? it's a little insane, like the imbalance of requests per member baffles me JEOWNWBWKQ (special shout out to my favorite wook stan @zerobaselove i had you in mind writing this)

gunwook stirred in his sleep, flipping over on his side and attempting to reach out to grab you and pull you closer, but to no avail. he grumbled discontentedly, scooting himself even farthing in to your side of the bed - just in case you were on the edge of it somehow - and finally decided to open up his eyes and look for you upon flailing his limbs once more and still not finding you.

he was greeted by emptiness, furrowing his brows in confusion and concern, wondering where you could possibly be when it was this deep into the night. he sat up, feeling his dark hair sticking out every which way, but he didn’t care. he glanced over at the clock on his bedside table, greeted by the fluorescent red numbers that read 3:52am.

he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, bare feet being greeted by the cold hardwood flooring beneath them. your bedroom door was cracked, giving him a small inkling of where you could be, and decided to pull it open, greeted by the gentle stillness that blanketed your shared home. it was almost eerie, and could feel his heart beginning to sink at the idea of you randomly leaving him in the middle of the night - though he knew you would never actually do that.

he started in the kitchen, thinking that maybe you had gotten up to get a glass of water, but everything remained untouched from your after-dinner cleanup. next was the living room, though that was vacant too. he raked his hand through his hair, fear now settling into the pit of his belly.

he caught a glimpse of your restless figure sitting on a chair that decorated your front porch through the window, your legs curled up beneath you and one of the throw blankets you had likely picked up from the couch wrapped around your shoulders. he made his way to the front door, quietly opening it so he didn’t scare you, and padded outside, quickly grabbing your attention.

he knew something was wrong from the way he was able to see your tears glistening in the dim moonlight and the deep frown adorning your lips. he crouched down in front of you, warm hands finding their resting place on your thighs, and asked, “what’s wrong, baby? why are you out here so late?”

“i’m sorry for waking you,” your voice was fragile and barely above a whisper, fresh, hot tears now streaming down your face, “i was hoping you would stay asleep if i came out here.”

he tilted his head ever so slightly to the side, gaze softening upon hearing your words, “you never have to apologize for something like this. what’s got that pretty little head of yours awake so late?”

you fell silent at his question, bottom lip beginning to tremble slightly. he gently rubbed your legs, allowing you to take all the time you needed to collect yourself, finally telling him, “i had a really horrible nightmare about you and i just… couldn't fall back asleep after waking up from it.”

anything else you wanted to say died in your throat, instead replaced by a loud cry, your body instinctively melting into gunwook's as he opened his arms to you, engulfing you in one of the warmest, loveliest hugs.

“please don't cry, we’re both here and we’re both fine,” he mumbled into your hair, taking note of the way your fists balled up into his t-shirt, as if you would lose him at any given moment.

he added, “if you ever have a nightmare like this again, you wake me up, okay? i don't want you to ever feel like you'll bother me by doing so.”

you simply nodded, your breaths finally falling into an even rhythm as you listened to his heartbeat, your eyes growing heavy at the cozy feeling he was providing to you. sighing, you stated, “i’m sleepy, wookie.”

he squeezed your frame, helping you rise up onto your feet, his lips planting a gentle kiss on your forehead as he said, “let's get you to bed then, my love. i’ll make sure to protect you from those dreams.”

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kazutora-lover · 1 year

Text

Abort Mission — Red Card

Isagi Yoichi x fem!reader

Genre: fluff, humor and comfort

Summary: you have the bestest best boyfriend who's very understanding and would do whatever it takes to make you feel better ♡

Warnings: mentions of female anatomy, periods

Notes: wrote this lil' fic for my friend @marycorn after she told me that she wasn't feeling too good today — when you see this, I'm sending you love and hugs ♡

When you came home today, you were sure your day couldn't get any worse and now?

You're sure your day reached its limits. The worst point.

The sofa is soft under your body but everything aches still and you can't even differentiate where the pain is truly coming from.

If only that was the truth. At the back of your mind you know, it's that furious demonic little baby birther that didn't get its will and is now causing trouble for you and your sanity. It feels like thousands of knifes are having a mosh pit in your abdomen.

Your boyfriend whom you live with, doesn't know of his luck but even if he knew, he's the softest bean with you. And with everyone else as long as he doesn't get to step on a football field.

Isagi comes home about one and a half hours after you and calls out to you immediately. "Y/n? Are you there?"

No response.

He feels a little empty for a second but a quick glance to the floor shows that you must be home, especially since your shoes are.

Is she asleep? That could be right? It's quite late after all. But he knows you'd usually wait up for him so he makes his way farther inside and that's where he notices you.

You're laying on your side on the sofa with your body curled into what looks like a ball from behind. A little smile makes its way upon Isagi's lips, that is until he hears a little whimper and sniffles. Oh no.

His feet carry him to stand by your side until he's close enough to bend down to your level. The smile that was once present on his face has now vanished and replaced itself with a little frown as he sees you. He doesn't even have to ask what's wrong, he's seen you like this for what feels like a million times and yet it breaks his heart over and over again.

His slightly cold hand runs through your hair and you are immediately ripped out of your little self-made trance. Your gaze meets his and a pained smile makes itself visible on your pouty lips as you greet him, "Welcome home, Yoi."

Isagi keeps stroking your hair but he can't help himself when a little sigh leaves his slightly parted lips. He wants to say something, anything.

Your uncurl yourself to sit up straight but Isagi thinks one step ahead. His hand that was busy with your hair only a few seconds prior is now situated on your lower tummy as he maneuvers you to lay down again. "Baby, why didn't you text me that you aren't feeling good? I would've come home earlier."

Your gazes meet once more and an unwanted tear slips past your waterline. Gosh, how you hated this. "It's okay, I didn't want to distract you from practice."

Isagi scoffs a little bit, albeit not meaning any harm at all. "You know you don't have to worry about that, I know how your body keeps pushing you month for month. Let me take care of you. Please."

More tears sneak their way out of your eyes to experience the light of the day but Isagi is fast enough to catch them with his thumb, wiping at your damp cheeks like he's wiping his enemies off the field.

"I'm sorr—" You are about to apologize but a soft kiss to your forehead stops your words from flowing. "No more apologizing. You do this every month and I keep telling you that it's fine. Please let me do this for you."

You relax under his gaze and Isagi kisses you one more time before getting up and making his way into the kitchen. You can hear rustling and clanking but with the state you are in right now, you couldn't be bothered less to look after whatever he's doing.

It takes him about 5 minutes to come back to bless you with his presence once again. He squats down in front of you and places a hot water bottle on your lower tummy with utmost care. His voice is soft when he speaks, "This is for your cramps and to warm you up a little, you've been shivering like crazy."

Then he reveals something else he had carried in his hands, "And this is for you to take once your tea is ready." You squint your eyes at the little shaky motion of his hand. Oh, he's holding painkillers.

Another smitten smile of his later and he is back on his feet, "I'll just go take off my jacket and wash up and then I'll be back. Don't run away, I'm bringing cuddles."

You're only realizing it now but he's actually made it his mission to look after you first before taking care of himself. Oh how glad you feel to have Isagi Yoichi in your life.

It takes another 15 minutes for Isagi to come back into the living room but he doesn't come empty handed. Your favorite plushie is in one of his hands while the other carries one of his hoodies and an extra blanket.

By now you're one hour into a movie that's playing long forgotten in the background, the quiet noise filling the otherwise quiet room as the two of you take a nap in each others embrace.

You're wearing a part of Isagi's and have him wrapped around your form. And suddenly you realize, even if only subconsciously, you've never felt warmer than when you're with him.

And suddenly your day is only half as bad as it was before.

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock fluff #bllk fluff #isagi yoichi #yoichi isagi #isagi yoichi x reader #yoichi isagi x reader #isagi yoichi x fem!reader #dividers can be found @/benkeibear #kazutora-lover

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lets-try-some-writing · 1 year

Note

Blind starscream au, everyone forgets that he's blind until he points that out, cue the awkwardness

More blind Starscream, heck yeah. I love this mech so much, especially when he just does not give a frag.

Forgetfulness

Megatron

The first time it happened on earth, Megatron was issuing orders as usual and was looking over a map of the battlefield not recalling that Starscream was literally unable to see it.

Megatron: *pointing to the map* We will strike here! Starscream will lead the assault!

Starscream: *sarcastically* Ah yes, I can definitely see where exactly I am to attack, obviously.

Megatron: *silently sending starscream a set of coordinates over comm link instead* You have your orders, get going!

They didn't talk for a week after that incident. Megatron was too embarrassed at his blunder to even try to make amends and so just avoided the seeker.

Soundwave

As a general rule, Soundwave and Starscream don't interact. But the singular time Soundwave seemed to forget that the seeker couldn't see was something that stuck in both their memories. They had run into each other in the halls and Soundwave had suddenly stopped Starscream from continuing, gesturing to a sign that specifically pointed toward the area being off limits.

Soundwave: *gesturing with a nod and his cables toward the sign that says "keep out"*

Starscream: *irritated* Use words Soundwave. I am no psychic.

Soundwave: ...

Soundwave silently sent Starscream the warning over a comm link before walking away without a word. He would never admit his blunder to anyone.

Knockout

The Decepticon medic was in the middle of working on a Vehicon while he was gossiping with Starscream when he asked for the seeker to pass him a tool. Starscream of course gave him a look that quickly make Knockout realize his error.

Knockout: That sounds dreadful! Could you be a dear and pass me that scalpel?

Starscream: Ah yes, I will certainly pass you the small item that I can most definably see.

Knockout: ... My apologies.

They continued chatting as it nothing happened but Knockout screamed internally afterwards.

Breakdown

Normally Breakdown is very aware of Starscream's blindness and takes extra care to not mention it while still accommodating it. However on one occasion where Starscream's sensors were out of commission, he straight up forgot about the seeker's disablement.

Breakdown: *throwing a lob ball at starscream* Catch!

Starscream: *proceeds to get hit and fall flat on his face*

Breakdown: *softly* Scrap.

Breakdown went to Knockout with several scratches and a blaster burn later that day and he never forgot that moment, often having it come back to haunt him late at night.

Shockwave

Shockwave never actually forgot that Starscream was blind, he just didn't care and wanted to watch the seeker seethe while he tried to figure out how to find the thing he was asked to get.

Shockwave: Starscream, I require the third smallest beaker.

Starscream: Ah yes one moment, I will get it once I get my sight back.

Shockwave: Starscream, I require it immediately.

Starscream: *pointing to his lightless optics* How am I supposed to find it you slagger?!

Shockwave: You are resourceful, I am sure you will succeed without aid.

Starscream spent forty minutes trying to find the beaker. He never found it and resents Shockwave to this day.

Optimus Prime

It wasn't really that Optimus forgot, more like he simply used the wrong phraseology.

Optimus: Can't you see all the harm you are doing?! Starscream: No actually.

Optimus: *staring blankly for a moment* ... Allow me to rephrase. Do you not feel anything for the harm you are doing?

It was slightly awkward and Starscream has occasionally mocked Optimus for it since.

Ratchet

While doing a repair for Starscream, Ratchet temporarily forgot that Starscream literally could not see how bad his injuries were.

Ratchet: How in the pits did you do this? A gash of this size...

Starscream: It's that bad?

Ratchet: Yes! Can you not see-! Oh...

Starscream and Ratchet both coughed awkwardly after the fact and neither have spoken a word on the subject. Although on the odd occasion where Ratchet is feeling a little evil, he will exclaim something about Starscream having a bomb stuck to him during battle, temporarily causing the seeker to flail.

Arcee

Her situation was less awkward and more angering than anything else. She was in the middle of confronting Starscream for the death of Cliffjumper when she made a slight blunder.

Arcee: You killed him! Did the sight of his spark puttering out not cause you to feel any remorse!

Starscream: I didn't see it, so no.

Arcee: Why you little-!

Starscream was only barely saved from having the life beaten out of him by the team and he has since been careful around Arcee for fear of angering her further.

Bulkhead

He was in the middle of battle and trying to find a way to disorient Starscream when he messed up a bit.

Bulkhead: *tossing dirt at starscream to try and blind him* Take that!

Starscream: *unphased but a little irritated* How cute.

Bulkhead: *remembering* Oh fra-!

Simply put, he returned to base far more singed than he would have otherwise liked.

Bumblebee

While Starscream was a prisoner of the Autobots, the seeker's wings, and therefore his sight was put out of commission. And forgetting this, Bumblebee led the seeker straight into banging his helm against a doorway.

Bumblebee: *in binary* This way.

Starscream: *walks straight into the top of the doorway, hitting it with a nasty thunk* FRAG!

Bumblebee: *internally screaming at himself*

Bumblebee never forgot that particular blunder and he has since taken care with other prisoners to ensure the same thing doesn't happen twice.

#maccadam #transformers #transformers prime #blind starscream au #starscream #team prime #decepticons #ridiculous #poor starscream #he runs into everything without his sensory enhancers #probably walked straight off a cliff at some point

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yellowloid · 6 months

Text

my experience at am's show (3arena, dublin, 15/10/2023)

starting to write this post while stuck waiting at the airport, after somehow managing to get rid of my sleep deprivation headache through an overpriced orange juice. (edit: it's been two days and i'm stuck at home with a cold and it's all their fault) (jk) (i mean i guess that's giving me an incentive to finish writing this post so yknow. silver linings)

i'm sorry in advance because i know this is gonna be super long (and probably less cheerful than my other recap posts because i'm opinionated) but i swear i'm gonna try and not be insufferable (said as i obviously lie)

• SO let's start off by saying that we made it right in time for the start of miles' set (we were looking for our seats as he came on stage) and thank god because i was shitting myself and almost throwing up thinking we were gonna be late bc the bus we were supposed to take never showed up and we had to take another one. we literally SPRINTED up the stairs once we were in and heard he was coming up

• seeing miles open for them was moral compensation for his milan concert that i wasn't able to attend despite having tickets in 2022

• he had a very short time slot as usual with opening bands :/ and unfortunately that led to everything feeling a bit rushed :( like i'm not sure how he's been playing songs like cry on my guitar or the wonder at his latest gigs but they were SO DAMN FAST like please slow down i want to let my fav omb song sink in 😭

• still i absolutely LOVED his set, especially colour of the trap (which was AMAZING live), rearrange, come closer and inhaler. his energy was through the roof, he was literally buzzing and if you can already see how much he loves performing via video, it absolutely shines through when you see it live like. bro's literally a ball of light and energy and like. the sun personified l??? he's got so much charisma and a great stage presence. he was all smiles and really really tried to get the crowd hyped. loved him loved his set

• speaking of the crowd. it was absolute bullshit they had ZERO idea how lucky they were to have tickets to one of those four dates and how iconic it was that mk was opening for am after all these years. or maybe they just didn't care idk but i swear to god it wasn't even the usual "crowd who's not interested in the opening act" which. again. do you know how lucky you are you're seeing them both on the same night. don't let yourself be fooled by that cott video with the phonelights on, that was the only thing they did to show miles at least the tiniest bit of support - they were fucking dead otherwise, which is so weird because if you know am at more than a surface level you most likely know who miles is, and you probably know at the very least some of his songs... and yet they were so fucking quiet it was honestly painful to witness. most people there really had no idea how much lore was behind those gigs and it shows

• but again, it wasn't even that they weren't interested in the opening act. because they were fucking dead even during the main set. my section was full of drunk guys who were kinda hyped but very annoying (we'll come back to this later) but even in the pit which is supposed to be the most active area it looked like everyone was asleep and woke up at random times remembering they were at a concert and they were supposed to cheer and sing and just act accordingly ??¿¿??

• not even dancefloor or diwk managed to wake them up......DIWK. that's like. the song that's guaranteed to make the ground shake. i've seen am three times this year and in both paris and rome the crowd was usually only dead during the car songs (and tbhc depending on the song) - but they were INSANELY active during other songs, both oldies and classics. but this crowd was so disappointing literally snork mimimi-ing their way through the show

• anyway. miles should have played wrong side of life just for me and he also had the opportunity to do the funniest shit ever and play killing the joke or see ya when i see ya but alas one cannot have everything

• he did do something very......interesting during cry on my guitar (and i think also during one man band? but i'm not sure). my guy pointed at the mirrorball while singing "late night, all night, miss your kiss" which was kinda insane and i lost my mind a little but anyway

• as we all know there was no tlsp because he removed aviation first and then sntm which particularly hurt because he did it just a couple of hours before the show and when i saw that i just Knew. i knew shit was rapidly going downhill but still i was holding out my hope!!! i thought well there's still 505 or maybe they're saving sntm for later!!! i chose to keep being delusional!!! and boy was i about to get slapped in the face!!!

• now before we talk about am's set allow me to tell you a funny story. as i said my section was full of men who were very hyped (especially for wpsia/fwn/am songs) and the guy right next to me in particular (who was there with some other male friends) was, to put it shortly, a fucking annoyance. i was there with my brother and as we were waiting for the start of am's set he went to get us some water; so i was there alone minding my own business when the guy next to me immediately started hitting on me (he literally waited for my brother to leave bc he probably thought he was my bf lmao real smooth man). he was trying to make conversation asking me where i came from or things about the band, if it was my first time seeing them and what song did i think they were gonna open with and internally i was like BITCH who do you think i am. i literally know their setlist by heart. you and me are not the same

when i told him sculptures was gonna be the opener he was like 'mmmm idk' and i was like shut the fuck up. he was so condescending and patronizing about it and mentally i was like honey trust me we're not the same kind of fans i know much more than you do. anyway spoiler: of course they opened with sculptures

(he was also from england and told me he saw them in london at emirates stadium and when i asked him if he saw them on THE night when miles joined them he was like 'haha no' at which i was mentally like bro you didn't even see them on the right night why are you pestering me with your lame ass attempts at hitting on me. and he was so close too and already tipsy and basically just a stereotypical english dudebro and i swear the whole scene literally looked like this

but anyway then my brother came back and he finally shut up

• the problem is. this guy and his friends then started chugging on their beers and getting really drunk and the whole show this fucking idiot had no idea what personal space was because he kept invading my section and kept moving around drunkenly and i couldn't even fully enjoy the concert because i was so fucking scared i was gonna get elbowed in the face sooner or later, and i even tried to push him off because he kept bumping into me with his clumsy ass drunk moves but he just kept fucking being a nuisance the whole show and i really really wanted him gone from planet earth <3

• this went on to the point that i was dreading the fast and more active songs because this guy would just start being really frantic and overexcited and i literally feared for my life but even during the calmer songs he was fucking annoying like bruh. i appreciate the enthusiasm but i promise you don't have to throw it back to cornerstone like calm the fuck down or at least back off and stay in your fucking lane or i swear i'm gonna bite your head off

• anyway now let's talk about the actual show

• let me start by saying that yes i may have some complaints but regardless of everything it was (as always) a fucking great show. no doubt about that. i very much enjoyed it and i'm also very happy we were the first crowd to experience the strings live. i definitely got some better setlists (rome's lives in my head rent free), but it is what it is. beautiful show but well, it's always a beautiful show with them and we all know that. i may have mixed feelings about some things but these are just my opinions so please don't come at me lmao

• about the setlist: i definitely would've appreciated if we got a bit more tbhc (we only got the title track and that was it... i mean at least i got to hear it live, for the first time if i remember correctly, but still..... i'm mourning the loss of 4/5 and star treatment) (we didn't even get the iwby x star treatment x jet skis mashup which i was really sad about because i LOVE that mashup and i would've loved to hear it again); for the car, i'm so happy i got to hear hello you (we'll talk about this more later) but i also would've loved to hear perfect sense again because </3 sir that's my emotional support favourite the car song </3

• i was also thinking we'd get a bit more wpsia since originally it was the uk&ireland tour and back in june they played some more songs from that album, also because usually the closer they get to home, the more they go back to the origins... i was so hoping for mardy bum, a certain romance or ritz but instead we only got the view from the afternoon (not complaining about that tho) and dancefloor (please for the love of god remove that song from the setlist forever thank you very much)

• also if you want to give us sias (good) then why would you choose to give us don't sit down.........give us hellcat.......give us the title track........anything but That One...................

• however i got my beloved cornerstone (<3), 505 with the new string outro (but at what cost) and also all the car songs with the orchestra so that's a win

• as usual the crowd was kinda dead during the car and tbhc songs but again. they were already dead so they only became more dead during those songs

• they didn't really interact that much with the crowd, nor with each other; alex limited himself to the usual ("good evening dublin", "how you feeling/are you enjoying us dublin", "thank you", a couple of "terrific" here and there but that was it) + he did a shout out to jamie during cornerstone ("it's jamie cook here on his electric guitar!") and i think they scissored at some point during the body paint outro

• the transition from teddy picker into crying lightning was absolute FIRE my ass was shaking

• now for some silly antics

• after the piano interlude before high he said "why'd you only call me when you're high........" in the lowest saddest way ever as he usually does. okay man 😃👍

• he introduced arabella by going "i'll tell you about a girl that i made up......real character......arabella" like bruh we got it we understand you totally made her up and she's 100% not real like i promise we Get It we really do. why do you always feel the need to reinforce that why are you so adamant about it ESPECIALLY when in the presence of a certain someone......you're so sus

• "and it sounds like..........THIS" before the arabella guitar solo. literal chills

• "let's bring this party down to the cornerstone.........woah 😯"

• he always adds this thing during cornerstone i remember he also did it in rome and then i forgot to post the clip but i swear i never understand what he's saying i've seen some people transcribe it as 'ken barlow' but to me it sounds more like 'jenny ballow' or smth like that which doesn't make sense either way but still. does anyone know what i'm talking about and wtf he's on about

• nothing to say about cornerstone. beautiful beautiful beautiful as always <3 he also did the "squeezed me very tightly" bit that he always does and it was the cutest thing

• he sang the last line of the song so cuntily it was like. 'yes 😗 you can call me anything 😏 you want 💅' if it slayed

• after the song ended there was a moment of silence after which he went "......they kept in touch" and i felt the need to put him in a blender and drink him whole

• "from our first LP wpsiatwin, the view from the afternoon......."

• he got on his knees during pretty visitors. where he belongs

• we also got knee socks but there was something wrong because his voice cracked multiple times on the higher notes, he didn't even finish singing some lines - he just stopped, shook his head and then tried the next one... idk what was happening but he really looked like he was struggling during that song :(

• at the end of fluorescent adolescent he sang "remember when you used to be a rascal....... ~do you remember?~" which i saw he also did at last night's show and idk man that was kinda sus

• the strings were absolutely amazing showstopping spectacular and really put a nice ribbon on the songs they were used for (especially 505 and hello you) but that just makes things even more infuriating because why did they only get the whole orchestra there for the last four shows which weren't even originally supposed to happen.......... are you telling me if alex hadn't caught laryngitis we never would've have got them or what. like what's up with that

• anyway up until this point despite the lack of sntm i was still a sweet naive summer child who had some hopes left for 505. but the moment the music started playing without miles having been introduced to join them i knew. i knew we wouldn't get shit

• the 505 outro with strings was amazing tho......so melancholy and beautiful and just sososo pretty i loved it. would've loved it even more if miles and alex smooched right there and then

• as i said the crowd was dead even during diwk which was absolutely embarrassing lmao like wtf. not only was i the only one popping my pussy to the car and tbhc songs i also was the only one doing it to the most basic ahh song (still a banger tho it's always so powerful live 10/10)

• i can't believe the biggest milex interaction we got was alex saying "let's hear it for miles kane" right before body paint... i nearly lose my mind there and he literally just said his name (not a dedication like some people said) but i mean. that was at least acknowledging each other so i'll take that (said as i rip my hair out and bite my tongue and roll on the floor hitting myself)

• i was so delusional at that point when i heard he said his name i thought well maybe they're gonna be random and he's gonna join for body paint!!!!! which in hindsight i'm like. girl do you have any idea how insane you sound rn

• "thank you for having us dublin, it's been lovely" said with the most 'i'd rather be anywhere else than here rn' face and tone ever :/

• btw his little HA! was very <3<3<3 and at some point he was like scratching his head in such a cute way i almost forgot how mad at him i was (emphasis on almost)

• "just a trace....... just a trace....... just a traaaaaaceeeeeee....... just. a. trace. on your legs~ and on your arms~ and on your face........ your faceeeeee"

• when they left the stage before the encore the crowd was shouting "one more song" but all i wanted to hear was "miles, miles, miles fucking kane" because who knows maybe that would've shook them up and they'd spontaneously decide to call him on for the encore (incredibly delusional)

• hello you as the encore opener was fire, i'm so glad i got to hear it live AND with the strings too, it sounded just like the recorded version and you could hear the improvement in the live version so clearly compared to when they first debuted it; the mirrorball still hadn't dropped and since i haven't been watching many videos from the north american tour i was like ??? i thought it was maybe malfunctioning bc only the little one at the back was shining before but them BOOM the main girl dropped during hello you and it was crazy beautiful!!!!!

• "i bet that YOU look good on the dancefloor, dublin"

• at the end of the show he was blowing and catching kisses, they were bowing and waving to the crowd and that's when i realised it was my last time seeing them this tour and you could see the exact moment my heart cracked i was desperately hoping they'd never leave that stage </3

• it was an amazing night but it very much left me with a bittersweet taste in my mouth - because, as i've been saying, the vibes felt so off and i don't even know why. i can't exactly point out what was wrong, because really we have no idea what goes on behind the scenes; and i'm not even talking about it through a milex lens or smth like that. i mean, i was absolutely disappointed that nothing happened - no sntm, no 505, nothing -, but when i say the vibes were off i don't mean it in a demon way. i'm talking about the band. they really looked like they didn't want to be there, probably because they're tired and burnt out and can't wait for the tour to be over so that they can have a much-needed break. they must be exhausted and i get that, i really do; but still. it was a bit disappointing and i hate that i can't fully put my finger on why it felt that way, what was wrong, why did everything feel so rushed and why the well-oiled machine feeling translated into 'we're gonna play this show so soullessly it's gonna fly by more quickly' but it really felt that way. also mind you, i'm not even saying this as the 'tumblr fan who follows every show they play and knows all their antics by heart so that's why she notices perfectly normal things no one else notices' (like i remember the discourse back when they played glastonbury, and that really made sense because ofc casual fans are not gonna notice everything we notice) - but no, i'm not doing this that way. because my brother, who's very much a casual fan who knows nothing about the lore or the usual way they play shows (he saw them with me in paris so he had some kind of basic for comparison but that's it) said THE EXACT SAME THING. he agreed that the vibes felt very off, he also had to listen to me angrily ranting about it all the way back to the hotel and once again he agreed that the show felt, to put it very simply, kinda weird.

• now speaking of miles not joining them... the fact that he removed sntm at the very last minute was one of the sussiest thing he's ever done because why would he even add it to the initial setlist only to remove it just before the first show. it literally doesn't make any sense but i'm choosing to believe there were some technical problems out of their control, no time to rehearse or something like that... they're still best friends and if they weren't okay they wouldn't even have asked miles to open for them. i do find it weird and stupid that they'd miss this opportunity and i'm so angry at them for being dumb and not doing anything with it (unless something happens tomorrow), i'm very much heartbroken and my mind was and still is wandering trying to find more or less rational or delusional reasons why they didn't do it. i was drowning in grief after the show and the day after because i simply couldn't wrap my head around it all, but that's on me for having expectations i guess. i know they're still best friends. they're also never beating the divorce allegations. the two things can and should coexist when you're in an obsessive codependent homoerotic friendship and you're constantly having filthy telepathic sex with each other

• someone please get them to therapy or lock them in a room and throw away the key until they talk and sort their shit out and it stinks of sloppy nasty make-up sex in there because at this point it feels like we're fucking intruding on their fucked up psychosexual games and i'm SO TIRED of being a child of divorce. please we know you know everyone knows you're obsessed with each other just stop being insane (barely acknowledging each other) and start being insane (having crazy gay sex again). i promise all your problems would be solved if you just fucked each other into oblivion like the good old days

• ANYWAYS. i'm still kinda sad and angry over the way the show unfolded and it's not really helping that it's dawning on me that there's only one show left and then they're gonna disappear for god knows how long. i still loved the show, don't get me wrong, and i'm very grateful i got to see them again before the end of the tour and also to see miles for the first time during the same night. i do feel very lucky and despite the fact that we got no tlsp reunion or 505, the fact that miles was opening for them after YEARS of this not happening is still very much history in the making. iconic in and of itself. i'm also happy i got to visit and fall in love with a new city, i'm missing dublin so much and i miss THEM so much and i'm feeling so sad and bittersweet and heartbroken and ugh. i swear i can't even explain it to the full and i can't believe the tour is almost over </3 but that's a thought for another post..........

• for now i just want to see what happens at the last show and enjoy it to the full because yes we might have complained about some stuff along the way (i know i just did it myself lmao) but it's been such an amazing and memorable tour i just wish it'd never end </3

#i don't even know what to say in the tags like. they got me speechless this time i guess i can only shut up #i'm gonna add some more thoughts if i manage to get them in a coherent written form but that's it for now #they're such fucking idiots but they're MY idiots and i'm afraid i love them too dearly #(is also still pissed at them and can't bear thinking about them too deply rn)#arctic monkeys #alex turner #miles kane #the car tour #dublin night 1 #my show

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feelbokkie · 8 months

Text

Ephemeral Love | Chapter 19

pairing: Seungmin x fem reader

genre: smau, crack, angst, fluff, non!idol au, university au, right person wrong time, minor character death

pov: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

warnings: swearing, grief, descriptions and thoughts of self harm (cigarette and lighter burns, falling out of window)

summary: Does love last forever, or is it fleeting? For university juniors Kim Seungmin and Seo Y/n, it's love at first sight but sometimes you meet your soulmate at the wrong time.

word count: 2,737 (unedited)

screenshot count: 6

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"What the hell are you doing?" Changbin asks as he pulls you outside of the funeral home.

The second you walked into the funeral home with Seungmin, you were promptly dragged out by Changbin. Your family was taken aback by your appearance. Your newly cut, partly bleached hair being the main point of attraction. The other being your makeup, which is normally more subdued than it is now. Your outfit being the last. The black dress you found was fine. Some simple one that you bought ages ago for a family dinner that you dressed down with one of Chan's leather jackets that you borrowed and never returned and some beat-up black sneakers. You haven't even bothered to flip up your septum piercing. You looked more like you were going out for a night on the town than your father's funeral.

"You told me to be here early, I'm here early." You say dryly, yanking your arm out of his grip.

"That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.” He huffs through his teeth, nostrils flared.

"My hair? Got bored." You play with the blonde part of your bangs, twisting a strand around your finger.

"Are you doing this for attention? Is that what you want? You have my attention, so fucking stop." You watch as Changbin pinches the bridge of his nose with his left hand, your eyes freezing on the gold Rolex watch sitting on his wrist causing your breath to hitch in your throat and heart to drop to the pit of your stomach. You recognize it as the one your father bought for Changbin's 20th birthday but never gave to him. The one that was tucked away in his closet.

"Where did you get that watch?" You ask, your voice wavering.

"What?" He questions, opening one eye to look at you.

"The watch. Where did you get it?" You ask again louder, balling your fists.

"Dad's closet when noona and I were trying to find something to bury him in." He sighs, somewhat confused by the sudden change in conversation but slightly grateful. He didn't actually want to fight with you.

"That's not yours. Take it off." You say, a thread of warning in your voice.

"Yes, it is. There was a card with my name on it. My name is engraved on the inside. He got it for me."

"But he didn't give it to you. You don't deserve it so take. It. Off." You say, voice becoming frenzied.

"I don't deserve it? What are you talking about?" His voice gets louder, angrier, and overall more frustrated as the two of you continue to talk.

"Take it off," You hit Changbin's arm with all your strength. Which, to him, feels like getting headbutted by a kitten against.

"Stop it,"

"It's not yours. You don't deserve it." You repeat, tears pricking the back of your eyes as you reach for the watch to take it off of him yourself. No tears actually fall. There's none left to fill your eyes, let alone pour down your face.

Changbin moves his arm just out of your reach. Confused by your sudden obsession with the watch.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Iseul's voice cuts in. She appears behind Changbin, confused by the commotion.

"Gollum over here is throwing a goddamn temper tantrum over my watch," Changbin explains.

"It's not your watch! dad never gave it to you." You huff.

"He didn't get the chance to." He breathes.

"Whose fault is that?" You spit, your voice turned thin and cruel. The three of you becoming impossibly still.

Changbin drops his hand, taking a step closer to close the gap between the two of you, his mouth quirked in annoyance. You're not sure if he's going to hit you or say something equally hurtful. You aren't scared of either action, adrenaline coursing through your veins. You're expecting it. Craving it even. His suddenly Icy stare bored into your eyes, making it hard not to back away. Almost as if they're daring you to say something again. You open your mouth, unafraid to take the challenge.

"Changbin, go inside with mom." Iseul physically wedges herself in between the two of you. Changbin's eyes soften when they flick over to Isuel before he silently stomps away.

Iseul takes a deep breath, relieved to stomp a fight that would have only ended in certain disaster. She takes one more deep breath before turning around to face you. She studies your face, trying to read your expression but unable to read one. She frowns, worrying more than she was earlier in the week. Your eyes are motionless and far away, devoid of any light and emotion. Your skin was noticeably paler and your face slightly thinner. You didn't look like her little sister right now, and it scared her. She takes a deep breath in, her brain freezing at a familiar scent. She leans in close to your jacket to confirm her suspicions.

"Have you been smoking?" She asks in disbelief.

"So what if I have," You cross your arms, "are you going to beat the shit out of me and sit on me again?"

You started smoking when you were 15, curiosity getting the better of you. It wasn't often, only when you could manage to steal one from your father or bum one off of the older kids at school. Right before you turned 16, Iseul caught you smoking one and beat the absolute shit out of you and sat on you until you promise to never do it again. It was your first and only act of rebellion. Until now.

"You're supposed to be the smart and mature one." She rubs her temples.

"Sorry to disappoint. It is what I'm best at." Iseul's face twists in confusion at your words.

"Y/n, I know you're hurting right now. And I'm sorry that Bin and I have been too busy taking care of mom and getting everything in order for the funeral to take care of you--"

"I don't need you or anyone to take care of me. I'm fine." You cut her off.

"Really? You call your little smoking habit and your sudden need to change your appearance being 'fine?'" She scoffs.

"I call it Thursday, actually." You smirk.

"And now you're a comedian." She rolls her eyes.

"Yup, a regular John Mulaney. Now everyone can hop off my dick and leave me alone."

"You know," Iseul steps a little closer to you, "John Mulaney was very much not okay a few years ago. Had a nasty drug habit."

"Drugs would make this conversation so much more palatable. Thanks for the idea, sis."

"That's not funny."

"I'm not trying to be."

"I'm worried about you."

"Don't be,"

"I'm your big sister. I'm going to be. You're not acting like yourself and it's concerning and I'm sorry that none of us have said anything until now."

"Maybe this is who I am now. Who I was always meant to be."

"You wore footie pajamas and crawled into mine or Changbin's bed every time you had a nightmare or couldn't sleep until you were 12. This bitchy, pissed-off version of you isn't the real you. Trust me."

"Trust the woman who went to college for four years and earned a master's degree to become an art curator?"

"You can take all the jabs you want at me, I'm not Changbin. Nothing you say can hurt me right now. So try and push me away all you want, it's not going to happen." She smiles sadly.

"I'm not trying to push you or anyone away. I wish everyone would stop saying that." You sigh, loosening your grip on your arms.

"Okay, Y/n. Let's go inside. People are starting to come and we have to go greet them." Iseul reaches out her hand and tries to place it on your shoulder. You jump back, effectively dodging her. She slowly lowers her hand as she watches you ambly walk alone into the funeral home.

sizz

You wince at the burning sensation left by the end of your cigarette butt pressing into your skin, the pain dull and over quickly. You discard the extinguished butt haphazardly onto the street below and pull another one from the pack. You place the cigarette between your lips and light the end, taking in a huge drag and letting the toxic air sit momentarily before breathing it out. You pull out the cigarette from your mouth and gently press the burning end into your thigh as you take a sip of soju, a cycle you started after Seungmin left. It's not that you wanted to hurt yourself, it's that you wanted to prove to yourself that you felt something. You were still angry and depressed about your father, but mostly, you felt numb. You weren't even sure if you were feeling those emotions or just reacting. You weren't sure you could even feel anything anymore until a couple of days ago when you accidentally burned yourself when you dropped a cigarette on your leg.

You sit on the ledge outside of your bedroom window, dangling your legs halfway above your downstairs neighbor's window watching clouds float in the sky without a care in the world. The ledge in no way should be able to support your full body weight. You watched the ledge in Jisung and Felix's room fall apart after Felix put a cactus on it, but you didn't care. The funeral had ended a few hours ago. Unable to sit through more stories and lies about how your father was "a good man" from well-wishers trying to give comfort, you skipped the reception altogether. You asked Seungmin to take you home, not even telling your family that you were leaving.

You lean your head back into the glass of your window, and watch as a plane--or maybe a bird--flies through your line of sight. You hope it's a plane. You wish it is. Imagining you are aboard that plane, letting it take you anywhere other than here. Somewhere tropical where time doesn't exist and you can lounge around all day without a worry in the world. Somewhere with Seungmin.

"Put that shit out and get in here." Changbin's booming voice breaks through your daydream.

"Fuck off," You mutter, taking another long drag from your cigarette.

You quietly hum to yourself, not caring that your brother is in your room, waiting for you to come back in.

"Hey, when I die, I don't want you guys to sit around telling bullshit stories about how I was a good person or smart or anything like that. I give you full permission to tell the truth and spit on my grave." You proclaim, taking another sip of soju before setting it down next to you. Your hand misses the ledge and you watch as the bottle crashes to the ground below.

"Fucking hell," You hear Changbin mutter. Before you could reply, the cigarette was ripped from your hand and thrown to the side. Changbin quickly snakes his arms around your waist and manages to pull you back into your room, making you two fall to the ground.

"What is your problem? I was fine." You groan, rolling to your side to get up.

"You saw what that three-foot drop did to your drink, what do you think it would have done to your drunk ass?" He huffs from the floor, his back flat on the ground.

"Broken some bones, some brain and internal organ damage. Killed me if I was lucky but a fall from that height is mostly survivable and I possess no such luck." You sigh, slumping into your desk chair.

"Stop saying stuff like that." Changbin sits up, looking around your newly redecorated room. All of the posters and pictures that you had on your walls were in a pile in one corner and your stuffed animals in trash bags in another.

"What? We all die, we're not immortal. Who would want to be anyway?" You spin yourself in your chair, stopping when you're facing Changbin.

"I'm serious, knock it off." He closes his eyes and lets out a stressed breath.

"Why? Is it making you sad?" You lean to the side, resting your arm on the armrest and resting your head on the palm of your hand.

"Y/n," he warns, getting up from the floor.

"Hey Binnie, are you going to cry for me when I die? Or are you going to be relieved?" You ask curiously, spinning in your chair again.

"I said fucking stop!" He grabs your chair, stopping you at your bedroom door where you watch the rest of your roommates quickly run to their rooms.

Changbin slowly turns the chair towards him. He crouches down in front of you, looking you in the eyes. His eyes are barely open, but you can see how they glisten with unshed tears.

"Please, just stop." He whispers. The sight of our brother on the verge of tears should make you feel bad. Feel anything really, but you stare at him blankly.

"I wish I could believe me." You whisper back.

"I'll get you help, yeah? Maybe someone to talk to about all of this? You can take some more time off from school to process some of this before you go back."

"I'm not going back. I dropped out. Well, not yet, there's a surprising amount of paperwork involved."

You watch as Changbin's face twists from sadness, to confusion, and finally to anger. He blinks a few times, letting the tears fall down his face, as he tries to process what he just heard, his grip on the chair tightening.

"No you're not," He breathes.

"That's not your decision to make."

"You're not dropping out of college." He says, cracking his neck in preparation for a fight.

"Again, that's not your decision."

"You shouldn't be making big life decisions right now."

"Why? Are you disappointed in me too?" You smirk.

"Yeah, I am actually. This isn't funny."

"What's the point?"

"In what?"

"All of it. Me going to college. Me becoming a doctor?"

"Because you love it. Because you love medicine. Because you're smart. Because you love helping people. Because...fuck, because I said so," Changbin stands up and walks away from you.

"Whatever you say, dad." You roll your eyes at him.

"What are you even going to do if you drop out? Become a full-time piercer?"

"I could also start doing tattoos. I'm good at art."

"You're not throwing away your future to become a tattoo artist!"

"You do realize you're being a fucking hypocrite right now, right? You didn't even go to college and became a tattoo artist."

"That's different, I've always wanted to be a tattoo artist, you always wanted to be a doctor. You're not dropping out!" He bellows.

"Watch me." You throwback.

"Then get out,"

"This is my room." You roll your eyes.

"Not of the room, the apartment."

"What? Why?"

"I'm trying to help you but you clearly don't want to be helped. I'm not going to sit and watch as you self-destruct and fuck up your entire life because you're grieving and mad at the world. And frankly, I'm sick and tired of being constantly treated like shit because I had to move out when you were in high school. So get out." He clenches his fist, wanting to hit something.

You stare at Changbin, not sure if he is serious or trying to prove a point. He stands in the middle of the room, arms crossed, waiting for you to make the next move. You walk past him grabbing your backpack, significantly lighter now that you've cleaned it out, and shove some clothes and things inside.

"Okay, fine. I spent the first 20 years of my life under dad's thumb. I'm not going to spend the next 20 under yours." Your voice dripping with venom, ready to strike again.

"Fine! Leave! Drop out of fucking college! Get pregnant for all I care, I'm done Y/n! If you want to fuck up your life, that's fine by me! Just don't come crying to me when it all turns to shit!" He yells, his voice no doubt traveling to your neighbors' apartments.

You sling your backpack over your shoulder and storm out of the apartment, making sure to slam the door as you leave.

—

Buy me a coffee?

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mdhwrites · 3 months

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So, how does Discord from MLP fare as a chaotic god creature who gains redemption from friendship? Considering your issues with The Collector, what made the idea that Discord could be redeemed by Fluttershy's friendship work better?

So, the ask that caused me to finish watching the finale. Let's do this. *cracks neck*

Discord is less human and empathetic.

That... Is actually most of it which I know probably sounds a little weird. After all, shouldn't a kinder character be easier to redeem? Shouldn't it be more satisfying to see them change from their negative influences? Well... Yes. For most characters.

Discord and The Collector are not most characters. They're all powerful gods who mostly get enjoyment from chaos and causing problems. You inherently need a different approach to how they function when it comes to their morality. After all, neither one sees the death or loss of autonomy for a massive amount of people as a big deal so long as they had fun. That hedonism is a core part of both characters.

And this is where the Collector's humanity becomes a problem for the reason why it works with Discord: When Discord fucks over Fluttershy in his redemption, he doesn't expect her to be fair. To be good to him. His expectation, and desire even because of how he sees things, is that she'll snap. She'll get mad, break her word, and he'll be proven right about how all of this is bullshit. Sure, he probably gets turned to stone again but he's immortal. Time doesn't matter as much victory does. Even better if she snaps but keeps her word while swearing him up and down because now he gets to do what he wants.

But... He doesn't get that, does he? She keeps her word... But cuts ties. Doesn't get mad (and sorry if I'm misrepresenting any of this), doesn't throw a fit, doesn't do much of anything. Instead, she lets him know this isn't what friends do, that they aren't friends anymore, and leaves.

He won... But didn't get a prize. Didn't get the reward of breaking Fluttershy's patience. Doesn't get the reward of moral superiority because she dropped her mask and that's a CRUCIAL part of this. He NEVER believed that Fluttershy was being sincere. In his eyes, no one ever is. His chaos is actually revelatory more than anything else to him. Push someone to brink and where do their allegiances lie. That's literally what he does when he first shows up in S2 and shows how weak the element bearers can be when pitted against their own desires and vices. All but Fluttershy who annoyed him because she wouldn't play ball. She stuck to being kind.

I'm actually kind of loving how I expected to say I didn't think Discord's redemption was great but I actually love how even back in his first appearance, you can see the blocks they built on for it. But... why does this redeem him then?

Well because it proves him wrong and gives him something he's never had: A friend. Someone who doesn't wear a mask with him. Someone who genuinely cares about him. He's never had that and so yeah, he's free forever since the elements won't be used against him but... In return, he never gets the kindness he just finally experienced. A kindness that by the show's logic is the most powerful thing in the universe, literally. And so he decides that the only way to win is to lose and gives up so he can be friends with Fluttershy.

All of this btw explains why he never bothers trying to connect with the rest because he just sees them as masks which helps keep him antagonistic, even if he's not a villain now.

So what does this all have to do with The Collector? Well, see, with Discord, before his change, you could never win making a deal with him. You don't matter to him so you actually have to exchange something. With the Collector... You matter.

People matter to him... Which makes EVERYTHING he does WAY WORSE.

And this isn't even about killing people. For as fucking stupid as him not knowing what death is, and just a straight up lie by the show that goes fucking nowhere and has no payoff, that is not actually important here. Sure, it shows a lack of understanding to what he does, but the dehumanization is enough. He does horribly monstrous things to EVERYONE on the Isles. Full stop. He is a monster and this link takes you to something more comprehensive on that.

And he does that... While understanding his actions upset others and that he doesn't like that.

The smoking gun here is the line "King will hate me now." He knew going in that the dreams would piss off King. That hurting Eda and Luz had consequences. Consequences HE DIDN'T WANT. Discord thought there was no losing play because he could not imagine actually hurting Fluttershy in a way that mattered to him. It is VERY easy for the Collector. It's actually why King has so much power over him. He is desperate to keep his friend around.

But if he can recognize the humanity in one person, why can't he for literally anyone else?

And that's the killing blow. Even if you buy into EVERYTHING about the death stuff, he still knows he's doing monstrous things. That he has done monstrous things. This is why he doesn't like King reading about his brothers. Admittedly, you also have a moment like him asking for Grudgby buddies but... Why? The evidence is overwhelmingly stacked that he knows the people hate him. Otherwise he wouldn't have stars hunting and making people into dolls. Making them into nothing but toys instead of even giving them a chance to be his friend. Terra and Odalia live in fear of annoying him AT ALL and getting turned into a puppet, which happens to Terra. He treats people TERRIBLY... While knowing what he does is wrong.

While knowing King doesn't like this. That he doesn't like how King looks at him in those moments. He himself in the finale admits that the friendship is a lie and it hurts but he'd rather have that than not have a friend. But... He's been at this for months. He has been doing these things, with King by his side, for MONTHS.

Why did none of these people get even a chance? What is the underlying philosophy for the Collector? That he thinks they'll lie and cheat with him? It's not like King wasn't getting something out of their deal so King should be just as untrustworthy as everyone else. More so honestly because he IS immune to his magic so the Collector is defenseless if King decides to shove him back into the mirror. But... He gives King a chance. And he needs proof to believe that someone is out to get him. That's why Belos needs to have him check on King. He doesn't assume people are lying like Discord does.

And also... What does he get out of fucking with people? Discord genuinely takes pleasure in your misery. In you losing your mind. We get the death games in the finale but why that scale? Why the unfair rules? He's cheating like he accuses others of doing. But... He wants others to be honest with him. Discord lies because he doesn't expect anyone to bother being honest with him, not if they can get something out of lying.

That's why I describe it as the Collector being too human. He is too genuinely a person to have his crimes be as easily dismissed. For a simple shift in outlook, one thing proving his hypothesis wrong, to be what changes him.

Mind you... That doesn't happen either. The Collector isn't redeemed in the TOH finale. The one rushed part of the finale is when he should have been convinced that Luz was right. When he should have apologized for what he'd done or done a grand gesture to show he had changed how he viewed things. Instead, there's brief talk about forgiveness and kindness, which is not what the Collector is actually asking for because he claims during this section to not have actually done anything wrong (refer to everything above), he mumbles about it, and then I guess his big redemption moment is trying to use the theory on Belos. Except, you know... He spends the entire episode wanting to make friends. He is told a way to make friends and bluntly uses it like he did Belos' plans that started the episode and the death games. He hasn't grown or changed which is probably why the moment is treated as a complete joke. Then Luz dies ten seconds later and I guess figuring out that death exists SCREAMS makes him go save people. Hurray?

It's bad. At least Fluttershy's moment was genuinely built up. They showed how Discord viewed things and then presented a choice that actively asked that he either stay to his old mindset and beliefs or change to face a scarier, uncertain future. The Collector is still mostly just going off of "Friends are great! Do what makes you friends the easiest!" which isn't a new mentality for him. I guess you MAYBE get it when he fucks off in the end but also not really. Kind of like how Luz gave the demon realm a middle finger, him leaving without actually fixing like 90% of the damage he did, something that would be really easy for him but takes the citizens of the Isles FOUR YEARS, feels a lot more like that. Like these people don't like him, won't be his friends, so he tries a new planet instead. Maybe with a bit less forcing people to be his friend but why? His viewpoint seems to still be what it always has been, especially since he DOESN'T stick around to try actually be King's friend. To actually work with him and give him agency. He does all he has to to not make King hate him and then... Leaves. Instead of, you know, actually putting the work in which would have taken one line of "The Collector agreed to a power dampener to help everyone else feel a bit easier and is now working with King on what their friendship will be instead of telling him how it will be." Maybe even with showing him losing at Jenga, King getting nervous but then the Collector just laughs it off because he doesn't need to be in control anymore. He can lose and still be happy.

And again: This is the ONE part of the finale that's actually rushed. For as painfully slow and wasteful as the rest is, redeeming the Collector was just left on the chopping room floor I guess. Then again, that happened with Amity too, who never makes up for the bullying she did or actually apologizes for the years of bullying, just for the original sin (and then leaves Willow high and dry). It also happened with Hunter who always states very selfish motivations for wanting to be away from Belos and never actually disavows the things he did or the mindset he did them with. It's why I say he left Belos just because otherwise he'd be dead because it all still feels self serving. It doesn't feel like his worldview or his morality actually changed besides understanding his uncle wanted him dead.

TOH is just bad at redemption. At actually changing a character and having them rebuke their past. At least with Discord, the show is bluntly honest about even the initial attempt having a carrot on a stick for him. That if he doesn't play nice, it's back into the statue. It's why it's important that that carrot is gone in his moment of redemption. We know what he wants: Freedom and Chaos. Fluttershy won't put him back into the statue so he has those. But he chooses friendship instead because they've genuinely changed his mind and so he gives up both some of his freedom, and some of his chaos, to behave and play nice, even when Fluttershy had no reason to actually be nice to him even when he changed everything back in the end. He could have just lost. He didn't have to be honest and straightforwardly kind to another, things that the episode itself was asking whether or not it was possible for him to do.

There just isn't anything like that with the Collector and reminder: Discord is redeemed in his second appearance. He gets an hour of airtime where he can even show up before this happens. The Collector has more time to be fleshed out, genuinely, than Discord did. But... The Collector doesn't actually change. He might claim it but we don't see that. We don't see him do anything that would actually sell us on him having changed his worldview. After all, he forgave the Titans by still wanting to befriend one. He showed plenty of kindness to King with stuff like not forcing him to give Francois.

He already was like this so why does the little trip down memory lane do anything? Especially when for most of it, King, Eda and Luz are barely paying attention to him so the writers can circle jerk about the plans they had or about the amazing story they made. Even his big moment is undercut by being a joke. By obviously being the wrong move and then costing Luz her life. Just another dumb plan he enacted because someone told him it would get him friends.

That's not different and unfortunately it doesn't fix the awful things he did to others. The things he knows were wrong that he did. Discord never had to apologize for it because he'd never thought of them as wrong. Not until the moment everything changed for him.

Nothing changed for the Collector. Not a single thing.

======+++++======

Something that is just kind of an undercurrent of this but that I cannot stress enough for why the two are different: Discord can do what he does so quickly because he is a genuinely consistent character with clear goals and motivations. Meanwhile, the Collector is maybe the most inconsistent character I have ever seen which kind of makes redemption impossible in the first place. How do you redeem a character who seems to change core elements of himself every episode?

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