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virtie333 · 4 months

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Day 30 - Life Day Damerey Celebration

Prompt: Life Day

Summary: Poe's thoughts of Life Day after personal loss

Notes: I wrote this the day after Christmas last year, the first Christmas without my mom, and it kind of sums up what the holiday was like for me that year. 2022 was by far the worst year of my life.

On the day before I posted this, I received a negative... well, not a review, but a comment... on one of my Modern AU stories.

It made me wonder how, when so many people are just trying to live their lives the best they can through horrors and depression and thoughts of suicide, why someone would take the time to hate on someone they don't even know. My writing and sharing of fanfiction has literally kept me going through all the above, so I want to thank those of you who take the time to say good things, nice things, and who understand exactly what I have been going through, because they have been there.

Thank you.

Warnings: Talk of the death of a loved one

AO3

Poe sat quietly by himself on the far side of the room, watching the many people that filled the space, but not seeing them.

He hadn’t wanted to come tonight, but Finn had begged him to, and he couldn’t deny the people he loved anything. Finn’s excuse was that it was the first Life Day since he and Rose had been married, and Poe supposed that was an okay thing to be happy about. Firsts were important. Your first Life Day married. Your first Life Day after a war. Your first Life Day after a child was born.

Your first Life Day since your father died.

Kes Dameron had passed away over ten standard months ago, and Poe had thought he was done grieving and mostly back to normal, but the holiday reminded him that normal would never be the same. He would never stop grieving. Not really. It would come and go, ebb and flow, but it would never end. As long as he loved his father, he would mourn his father.

Life Day had always been a big deal in the Dameron household. Even after his mother died, his father managed to keep the traditions they had all celebrated together the same. Only now did Poe realize how hard that must have been for his dad, and he knew the grieving man had only done it for Poe. Every year, Life Day was celebrated with traditional songs, foods, and gift giving. Even when Poe wasn’t home on Yavin IV, they still found time to connect and share with each other the events of the day. Only during the few years of the war had they not done this, if only because Poe didn’t dare contact his father; there was no way he was taking the chance that the First Order would find Kes and use him against Poe, who had been on their Most Wanted list for years.

But then the war had ended. Poe was able to go home, and he and his friends were able to celebrate Life Day together at the Dameron Homestead. Within two years, Poe was married, had become a prominent advisor for the New Republic’s Department of Defense, and had become a father. Life was perfect.

Until Kes informed Poe he had been diagnosed with lung cancer.

The doctors believed it was a result of Kes’ exposure to toxic gases used by the Empire during the Galactic Civil War. Though minimal, it had eventually caught up with him. Poe and his family took leave from their respective jobs and came to Yavin IV immediately. They were by Kes’ side when he died two weeks later.

Life had gone on. Slowly but surely, things became better. Poe had dealt with death many times. Two of his best friends, Muran and Snap, both died in their fighters right before his eyes. Commanders and those under his command, friends and former friends. The hardest death had been Leia’s, but the eminent attack from Palpatine’s fleet had prevented him from focusing too much on that loss until much later. He had loved them all in one way or another, but none had been his father.

Now it was Life Day, that special holiday that he and his father had always managed to share the same delight in. And now his father was gone.

He wasn’t mad at the people around him for celebrating. He wasn’t jealous of their joy. In reality, he simply felt nothing. No sorrow. No resentment. He was just… empty.

It was while the group in front of him started singing one of his favorite songs for Life Day, Gaudete, a familiar and beloved presence appeared next to him. He closed his eyes, letting the ancient High Galactic language play in his ears as the feeling of comfort and peace filled him. The Force. Sometimes he thought it was the only thing that had gotten him through the last few months.

He felt his wife, the bearer of that powerful Force energy, tuck her hand under his arm and lay her head on his shoulder. She he never strayed far from his side this past horrible year, despite the fact they both had obligations away from each other. Even when they were apart, if he started having a depressive episode, she would know, and come to him. She claimed she wasn’t using the Force to read his emotions, but that she could simply tell by his voice, his body language, the look in his eye even over a holocom. And when she was with him again, life became bearable once more.

Which told him that it wasn’t the Force that had kept him going.

It was Rey.

She never pushed him to talk, but she listened when he did. She never told him he should talk to a councilor, but she encouraged him when he chose to. She never pressured him to ‘just do it’ when he didn’t want to. She was his silent support, her strength and love palpable, even to a non-Jedi like him. He asked her once how she could still be there after so many months of his moodiness and disassociation. She reminded him that he had done the same for her during the months following Exegol. It was how she fell in love with him.

And as Poe felt her physical and mental warmth fill him, he realized with a strange certainty that he was falling in love with her, all over again.

He heard the familiar giggle of his daughter, and looked over to see Suralinda dancing to the music with the almost 2-year-old toddler in her arms. Little Leia had a huge smile on her face, her cheeks rosy red from the excitement of the evening. For the first time in days, Poe felt a real smile form on his lips, and a new determination in his heart.

He would grieve this first Life Day without his father, as was expected. But by next year, his little girl would start making memories of her own, and Poe was determined to make them as good as his own memories were.

He looked at his wife, letting is smile carry over to her. She smiled back, then picked up his hand and kissed the back of it. “Happy Life Day, Poe.”

“Happy Life Day, my love.”

#fanfiction #damerey #jedipilot #poe x rey #tw: death #life day #depression #comfort

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l0calalien-blog · 1 month

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Stucky

I have to write this somewhere because i rewatched first avenger with my girlfriend last night and i had a thought (one of many) about steve and bucky!

first, i want to say that they are in love with each other. soulmates. i love them. they are my boys. my boyfriends. my everything.

HOWEVER, I believe that bucky is more in love with steve than steve is bucky. hear me out on this one.

1920s-30s ~ back then it was obviously illegal to be gay and would have been seen as something of the 'devils work' and we know that steve is religous as he makes comments on it in the avengers film, this would also make sense for the times. so i believe that steve was probably ignoring his feelings for bucky or telling himself that his feelings were platonic. i think steve also probably didnt believe that he was good enough for anyone, let alone bucky, which could be a reasoning for his blatent uninterest in women bucky tries to set him up with. while i think bucky also had the same feelings when it came to the religous parts of homobophia back then, i believe he had more confidence and felt safe with steve to tell him his feelings were more than platonic. i think bucky told him his feelings and steve softly rejected him saying that "it was wrong but he too loved him".

1940s ~ we learn in shehulk that steve did, infact, loose his virginity to a 'girl' in the early 40s, but steve also says in the first avenger that he never really had time for girls and had never really spoke to one before peggy. this could, could, indicate that bukcy and steve did have a secret relastionship and steve just told everyone that it was a girl??? i think at the point where steves post serium and has now been shown that peggy is clearly into him his whole heart belongs to her (as it would me too). i believe steve is too deep in love with peggy to even notice that bucky (still) has feelings for him, which we can see that bucky is from the way he looks at steve and peggy in first avenger after they return back to camp and also later in the bar. i think bucky the retaliates in fake stright with trying to flirt with peggy, being petty that shes getting all of steves attention.

2010s ~ at this point steves mourned buckys loss and has had time to get through the pain, but he would have also seen that the progression with gay rights had come along way since the 1940s and that it was a lot more acceptable. so when he sees bucky again in winter solidier his whole world shifts- his best friend is alive, peggys out the question, buckys evil, buckys beautiful (all things he must have been thinking at the time...)- after bucky and steve fight in winter solider and bucky saves steve shows steve that their love is still there even if its buried. then by civil war steves had time to process his feelings and realise hes in love with bucky and has been all along that he goes AGAINST THE GOVERNMENT and HIS CLOSE FRIENDS because they dont like his boyfriend. nearly beating tony to death because he tried to hurt bucky. even though now steve has had time to think about his feelings bucky is now heavily traumatised and needs time to process the past 70 years, he woudlnt have much time to think about his feelings for steve. while hes in wakanda and hes healed from hydras brainwashing he can MAYBE start thinking about steve but then the next time they see each other they are going into another war, in which bucky then dies leaving steve alone with the guilt of not being able to save everyone and love of his life.

2020s ~ once they get everyone back and steve and bucky are together again they are thrown into ANOTHER war so they still dont have time to talk. then they probably only get a few days or just hours to talk before steve goes back in time for peggy- because even after all of that steves had YEARS, i mean YEARS, without bucky and never really knowing how he feels about him steve probably healed (as much as he could) so his heart stayed focused on peggy because he always knew how she felt about him and him her. it was safe. comforting. and steves been through so much he just wanted something normal so thats why he went back for peggy, leaving bucky in the modern world alone. bucky clearly knew what steve was going to do with the stones from the small nod and smile he gave him, it seemed more like a goodbye than sams did, showing that bucky was letting steve go, giving him his concent to go.

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so what im saying is. marvel fucked my favourite gays over and they deserved more time together.

#marvel #avengers #captain america #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #steve rogers #stucky #bucky barnes #winter soldier #peggy carter #the avengers

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simlit · 7 months

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5, 10, 13, 23 for you know, the usual two suspects!

How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?

I'll answer for both at once since it's a similar answer. This comes as maybe no surprise in Taryn's case, but Yehl, I think, is just as equally driven, given the right circumstances. Once Yehl has the power not to take no for an answer, whether it be through his influence over Taryn, his eventual power as Celaedian, or his own growing self-confidence, he steadily starts to stand up for himself more and more. I think once he reaches full adulthood, one would be pretty foolish to try and stand in his way. To protect or keep what they love, these two would lie, steal, cheat or kill (depending on who needed killing), hands down lmao.

What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

I've had this idea in my head for years now, but never the time to even kind of conceivably work on it, it's called Last Train Out. A pseudo-30s/40s AU based on this old photoset I did wherein Yehl is a successful jazz singer and Taryn is a seasoned soldier about to be shipped off to war and they have this sort of dreamlike whirlwind romance before the separation. I do also have some early drafts of their modern AU, which more closely resembles the actual events of AoA, called Forevermore, and actually have some sets built and plans to post that one (maybe someday). But LTO I'm sure will never see the light of day so we can be sentimental about the might have beens ;)

If you met your OC, would the two of you get along?

LOL. I'd love to say I'd get along with both of them, but given their high standards, I don' think they'd get along with me. At least they can both bond over their superiority complexes.

What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

Taryn - Empathy. Love being a close second, but I think he manages to bridge that gap as best he can. His "love" for Yehl might always be slightly different than your conventional idea of love, but is just as, if not more intense. Empathy, however, is not something he ever learns. He rarely feels remorse for others, though does feel guilt for the things he's done in the past that have directly caused pain or trouble for his own kin. But that comes more with his burden of responsibility as king, and if he was anyone else and not born to fill a role, I doubt he'd feel the same. He only outwardly protects the elves on Yehl's command, and later spares mankind out of sheer civility. Even with Yehl, he struggles to feel sympathy for his struggle, oftentimes using this knowledge as a means for manipulation, but he does have a fondness for Yehl's brokenness. Again, I don't think any of that is particularly healthy, but he is still a dragon and very much falls back into animalistic behaviors as a baseline nature. Yehl - Ah, this is so much harder. I'm going to say... isolation. Which is... he's not unaccustomed to loneliness, but he fears being entirely abandoned. This is a sentiment that expands rapidly upon meeting Taryn, but even when he was younger, he's always has someone to rely on. First his mother, then Nuuriel, Judine, and eventually Taryn himself. But because of what Taryn is, Yehl is constantly put in a position where he feels sort of... left out to dry, for lack of a better term. Taryn can only meet him halfway, and for most of act one, he doesn't even allow him that much. Ironic, considering I can safely say Taryn fell in love first, it's just that Yehl's emotions manifested faster and in a way Taryn couldn't understand or reciprocate. This breakdown in communication and behavioral differences causes them so much strife, and a lot of pain, mostly on Yehl's side. Just because he's literally standing next to the person he loves most and feels a thousand miles away.

#jade babbles #ec: taryn #ec: yehl #darling iza #we appreciate your dedication to yeryn supremacy lmfao

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gunsandspaceships · 4 months

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Review of some anti-Tony comments I saw on Ao3. Part 2

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52704154/chapters/133310575

I'm back with a new episode. Hope you are excited. I am. "Pepper told Tony to save universe". Ok, this time we are going to travel a little bit in the future from Civil War – what are we going to see in Avengers Endgame? The dialogue starts at 0:41:50. Tony just invented a controlled time travel and put his daughter to bed. But we should probably take a closer look at why he invented it, and then we’ll return to Pepper. Tony lost Peter, who was like a son to him, and we will return to that later, cause we have some statements about Peter here. He felt guilt because of that. In Spider Man Homecoming he said to him “… if you died… I feel like that’s on me” (1:21:20). Let’s get back even further, to Age of Ultron and look at what Tony sees when Wanda plays with his mind – his greatest fear – Thanos’ army conquered Earth, Avengers are dead, he couldn’t save them (0:10:20). He carries this fear through the Infinity Saga, like a prophecy. Peter’s life is added to that after he met him. And in Infinity War the prophecy partially comes true, half of the universe and Peter are dead. Peter knew Tony will feel guilt, and said “I’m sorry” while dissipating into dust (2:15:30). So, what do we have here: Tony’s greatest fear came true, he is devastated. He feels like it’s all on him. He has a nervous breakdown once back to Earth, and then we will see him only 5 years later. But we do know what he was doing those years – he was studying time travel. He was a physicist, but not an expert in that specific field before. We see him confidently talking about the topic with Scott, Steve and Nat in the Endgame (0:34:20). Then the same day he sees Peter’s photo (0:39:25) and tries to do tests again. Test time travel models. Why again? Because he already has everything ready for it: knowledge, instruments and a lot of failed tests, which we can infer from the scene (0:39:35) and from what he said to others at 0:34:20. At 0:39:35 he said “I’ve got a mild inspiration. I’d like to see if it checks out”. Means he wasn’t truly honest with the team – he thought about time travel before and tried to invent/discover it. He is not starting from scratch in that scene. Memories of Peter gave him an idea, and he succeeded this time. Conclusion: Tony didn’t need others saying him to save the dusted. Like he always did before, he tried to solve the problem on his own. Let’s finally move forward to Pepper, who “said him to save the world”. You are stating that “Tony was trying to refuse saving the dusted”. As we already discovered he did want to return them. He tried to do so. Now he has the solution. He looks at his daughter and wife, and understands that there is a chance that he will lost them, or die. He goes to Pepper not for permission to stay, but for permission to go. We are back at 0:41:50 and what Tony is doing here – he is trying to convince himself not to do it “Something tells me I should put it in a lockbox and drop it to the bottom of the lake and go to bed” (0:42:57), but Pepper knows him, that he will not stop and will not be able to live with it. She says “But would you be able to rest?”. He needed her permission. Basically to risk them, and to die. Let’s go to the last scene of this review – 0:46:20. Here again Tony shows his expertise in time travel physics saying what is going on with Banner’s time travel attempt. Then he is saying “I just want peace. Turns out resentment is corrosive, and I hate it.” He is not saying “Pepper sent me to save the world”. It’s him. He brought himself because it is who he is. And he just can’t do any other way.

#tony stark #iron man #avengers endgame #spider man homecoming #avengers age of ultron #pepper potts #avengers infinity war #peter parker #marvel #mcu

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petermorwood · 1 year

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Back-Carry Before Conan

Or, BCBC.

For a long time I thought “Conan The Barbarian” (1982) was the first pop-culture appearance of BC.

NB, regardless of improbable contraptions made to “prove” things, no sword carried across the back in this movie is ever drawn from that position; in fact there’s a 3-second sequence devoted entirely to showing Conan getting his sword off his back and securing it at his waist before drawing it.

See it here, starting at 2:40.

In the next section of this scene, Valeria presumably does the same thing; at 0:27 her sword’s across her back, then there’s a brief cutaway to Subotai, and when we’re back with Valeria at 0:30 she’s got the sword at her waist and is drawing it from there.

Incidentally, though there’s often a brief scraping sound as swords leave scabbards, I can’t recall any examples of the infamous exaggerated “schinngg” noise, so I guess that cliché must have developed later.

*****

Then a few days ago, while tidying bookshelves, I found my long-lost copy of Thackeray’s mock-heroic Fireside Pantomine “The Rose and the Ring” (1854). Mine is the 1967 edition, evidently acquired from somewhere at a bargain price...

...and features Thackeray's own illustrations, including this one:

This is definitely back-CARRY, because an over-the-shoulder DRAW is neither intended nor possible. Here’s why...

Notice there’s no scabbard. However, there’s presumably a matching loop or point-cover for the other end, so I can visualise making it work like this:

Grab the sword left-handed and pull the whole arrangement, strap and all, forward and round until the hilt reaches your right hand. Now support the weight of the sword to let the strap go slack, and slide the hilt-loop backwards and off. Without it, there’s no tension to hold the other loop or point-cover in place and it will fall away, leaving the sword ready for business.

I’m pretty sure Thackeray didn’t think through his illustration in that much detail, so it may (?) have been based on contemporary rifle drill; the Crimean War was under way while he was writing, so he’d probably seen troops on parade.

*****

"The Rose and the Ring” is a Satirical Romantick (don’t forget the ’k’) Phantasy, set in a period best described as “Sometime Back Then”, and the periods represented by costumes in the illustrations are... Variable.

King Padella - sorry, that should be KING PADELLA - is wearing armour from 1160-ish. However, Prince Giglio, mentioned at the bottom of the page, looks a bit different.

Here he is, looking like he’s in the American Civil War (1860-ish - which is a good trick since the book was written and illustrated several years before it)...

...while the guards look like soldiers from the Seven Years War (1760-ish) and the prisoner looks like who knows what...

However, here’s Giglio again, in Theatrical Romantick Costume of no particular date...

...and again, now looking vaguely like Charles I as painted by Van Dyke (1640-ish)...

...and finally something which leaves me at a loss about what period it represents. Maybe “When Knights Were Bowled”, if that cannon-ball means anything...

“The Rose and the Ring” is a silly, and yet (in the right mood) entertaining story, and is also a demonstration of how to make Purple Prose earn its keep, since several characters speak not unlike Minette and the other affronted-Victorian-children cats who occasionally appear on Tumblr.

Whether this is a Good Thing or a Bad Thing depends on the reader...

There are several on-line versions: Internet Archive has a well-illustrated one here.

*****

And I still wonder what he’d seen or read to make him draw the carry-strap on that sword the way he did...

#back-carry #swords as luggage #the rose and the ring #mock-heroic #purple prose #william makepeace thackeray

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atherix · 1 year

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New au?👀👀

-🍂

HI I AM GOING TO COPY-PASTE EVERYTHING I WROTE TO BELLE WHEN I FIRST GOT THIS IDEA.

So quick background, Secondhand Lions is a movie about a boy who gets sent to his filthy rich great uncles for the summer by his mother who wants him to find the money, and one of the uncles tells him a story about their history/youth and they end up bonding with him and in the end the mother does the right thing for once and lets him stay, it's a great movie that admittedly has its... moments... that definitely Date™ it but it is to this day among one of my favorite movies.

Of course this wouldn't follow that like. At all. Except maybe vaguely. Just bear with me. Below the cut bc this is LONG. Keep in mind it's from DMs so it might be a little everywhere but ya know-

so anyway. Secondhand Lions but with Mumscarian.

The past; Grian, Scar and Mumbo were a team, an Avian, an Elf and a Totally Normal Guy™️. They were involved in a lot of stuff from the time of when they were young. Grian and Mumbo were childhood friends, grew up in the same village and everything, and were teens when they got dragged into war by the Mad King's attack on their village. They got involved in the fight and ended up on an adventure across the world, where they ended up meeting Scar who was, technically, part of the Mad King's court. They got him to switch sides and together, with allies, they defeated the Mad King and continued onto adventures, getting involved in the wars and civil uprisings they came across and basically liberating people everywhere. Of course, over this time, they fell madly in love with each other.

Unfortunately, as the years pass, Scar began to notice he himself wasn't changing at all- because he was an Elf. Grian and Mumbo had grown into men well into their 20s and 30s and saying Scar looked a day over 20 would be generous; he's an Elf, and Elves live for hundreds of years. Their aging significantly slows down the older they are, and it brings Scar to realize that he is going to greatly outlive the two men he loves. And, of course, the older Grian and Mumbo look, the more side-eyeing they receive when seen with Scar- and the more hostile/distant people become, the less welcome they are. Cue a series of misunderstandings, miscommunication and feelings of "I'm holding him back" from everyone, they end up splitting up. Grian and Mumbo stick together, of course, while Scar sets off on his own.

Cut to a hundred years later, into modern times; Scar thinks Mumbo and Grian are long dead, meanwhile Mumbo's Totally Normal Guy™️ syndrome has kicked into Eldritch mode and neither he nor Grian knows what happened but they're both still alive. They don't seek Scar out as they believe he must have moved on by now, and have settled down in the middle of nowhere in an old house with more money than they know what to do with.

Tubbo is 14 years old. He's Scar's son- I haven't decided yet if he's an adopted little faun/dryad or maybe Scar's bio Elf son in this world, but he's Scar's son and is being raised by Scar alone (no other parent in the picture, either abandoned or a result of a one night stand). Tommy is his best friend, and after the death of his older brother Tommy is being raised by his late brother's best friend, Schlatt (yeep). Schlatt is sending Tommy to live with his "uncle" for the summer (Grian being Phil's great great something great uncle) in the hopes of Tommy finding where Grian and Mumbo keep their money hidden. Tommy doesn't want to go but asks Tubbo to come with him since he's not being given a choice, and hesitantly Scar gives his permission (Tubbo argues it'll be just like summer camp, it's okay!) but on the condition that Tubbo writes him once a week.

Tommy and Tubbo get there, and though Grian and Mumbo are like- 40 max (in appearance), they live basically like they did a hundred years ago; no television, no internet, no phone service. Mumbo has his redstone devices, which Tubbo is fascinated by, and Grian has his flying course, which Tommy is enthralled with (Tommy is also an Avian), to entertain themselves. They also have communicators that only work with each other (Scar has one, too, but it's been in storage for decades at this point and he wouldn't even know if they did send him a message). Grian and Mumbo have no fucking clue how to entertain children and do a lot of age-inappropriate stuff (as in giving Tommy and Tubbo crossbows and letting them run wild in a training course they have in the back field, rather than handing them starter bows with soft-tip practice arrows and strict supervision lol).

Over this visit, Mumbo begins to tell the boys a story when they catch Grian in one of his Moods™️, where he's kind of stalking around the perimeter of their home and gazing out into the distance, as if searching for something. Mumbo explains that sometimes, Grian gets antsy and becomes very aware they're missing a member of their flock. He tells the story little by little- the story of adventure and friendship and love and the cruelty of time and people, but he uses the name he used to know Scar by which Tubbo doesn't recognize. As such Tubbo doesn't think to write about it in his letters to Scar.

Tommy convinces them to start buying shit with their money and they end up buying a lot of crazy shit, including some kind of beast I'm undecided about. Not a Warden ofc bc wardens are wardens, but some kind of hostile beast that Tubbo, with his general Faeness (either faun, dryad or elf jkfdsjk), manages to tame. Ofc he writes to Scar about all of this, and honestly Scar gets a little freaked out- what kind of sane people buy a hostile creature?? (Well. He knows at least one person who would have, but… he's been dead for so long….) He starts arranging things at his Aqua Town shop to go and check in on Tubbo.

Tommy and Tubbo have grown fond of Mumbo and Grian, thinking they're weird but in an endearing sort of way. Some shit happens with some of the locals in town but Grian and Mumbo deal with it, Tommy gets a letter from Schlatt giving him instructions on what to do when he finds the money, Tubbo is having fun taking care of his new pet, and in general things begin ramping up. Mumbo reaches the end of the story, where Scar chose to leave, and Tubbo questions why they just let him walk away (not knowing this was a century ago), which is when Grian finally cuts into the story and tells the teens that he and Mumbo are older than either of their grandparents, and Scar has long since moved on and mourned them as dead. Tubbo of course argues that they should have tried anyway, because if he's been mourning them and they're still here then how is that fair, if they still love him after all this time then what if he still loves them?? (Tubbo, thinking about his own father, who sometimes hints at having something he'd loved and lost once upon a time, choices he made that he regrets, things he wishes he could take back….)

Well, Schlatt shows up when Tommy's stopped answering his letters, and he's got a Plan™️. He starts to manipulate the townspeople and spreads rumors about Mumbo and Grian, and tries to get into Tommy's head, manipulating him and Tubbo (if Tubbo is adopted, this would be the moment he'd find out Schlatt is his bio father. If Tubbo is Scar's biologically then obviously not, bc I do not want to consider Scar and Schlatt having a kid together lmaoooo-)

Tubbo is kind of overwhelmed by everything happening now, between Schlatt and discovering he's currently staying with century-old Eldritch creature(s), and of course in his distress he turns to Scar. He runs off to town, borrowing a fancy shmancy communicator/phone and calling the shop. Unfortunately, Scar has already headed out by now, so the phone is answered by Cub, Scar's "right hand man" at the shop. Cub tells Tubbo Scar is probably halfway there already and all he has to do is wait.

Now, with his father out of reach, Tubbo thinks it's time to do the next best thing; tell Grian and Mumbo about what Schlatt is doing/planning. However, Tubbo and Tommy are both notoriously bad liars and Schlatt finds out. Tommy has by this point found the money but is keeping his silence, and Schlatt realizes when Tommy talks himself in a circle that Tommy knows where it is, so Schlatt- knowing the one thing Tommy really cares about is his bestie- decides to use Tubbo against him, threatening to hurt/kill Tubbo to get Tommy to comply (and, in the meantime, stopping Tubbo from telling Mumbo and Grian, who Schlatt has absolutely NO CHANCE at beating. Well, no chance at beating Grian, at least).

Scar shows up as Tommy is leading Schlatt (and Tubbo) to the money, and obviously there's a huge "what the fuck" moment when he comes face to face with Grian and Mumbo- which is quickly overshadowed by the whole "where are the kids" situation going on. Grian and Mumbo are shocked to discover Scar is Tubbo's dad (and in typical Misunderstanding fashion, assume this means they were right that Scar moved on), but don't have time to dwell on it when Scar insists the boys are in trouble, Tubbo had written to him about some of the very concerning things Schlatt was saying/doing and he doesn't think Schlatt should be left alone with the boys.

Of course like in Secondhand Lions, Tubbo's little beast friend saves the day, attacking Schlatt and giving Tubbo and Tommy the chance to run away at the cost of its own life. They meet up with Grian, Mumbo and Scar, and Tubbo has never been so relieved to see his dad. Grian goes to find Schlatt, who is already injured, while Scar and Mumbo check over the boys. In the end, of course Schlatt is defeated and is sent off with the parting warning that if they ever see him again they will kill him, and that he's lucky the creature got to him before they did.

Mumbo questions why Tubbo never mentioned he was Scar's son, and Tubbo says he didn't think it was important- which is when he finds out Scar was the third person from that story all along

Ultimately, of course, the story ends with Tommy wanting to stay with Mumbo and Grian, and Tubbo pushing for Scar and them to talk about everything that happened in the past and what was actually going on through their heads, and what they really felt and thought about it all. There's no immediate getting back together of course, but they do talk about it and stay in contact when Scar and Tubbo return to Aqua Town.

The epilogue is like 5 years later and ofc Mumscarian is back together and Tubbo and Scar have moved in and the property is just full of increasingly ridiculous shit. Happily ever after the end.

bonus content; Ren is the great great some-odd great grandson of both the Mad King and the Red King, both corrupt monarchs that Mumscarian fought against. BDubs was the right hand of the Mad King, ofc, and is very Fae like Scar, but he moves on with Cleo- another member of the Mad King's court who's still somehow alive- and eventually Etho joins them. Martyn is, unsurprisingly, Just Some Dude descended from the Red King's right hand, and is very much in love with Ren. There might even be a bit of a reincarnation thing going on there, but hey- who knows :)

Bonus:

#ask #Secondhand... something AU #I haven't decided what mob it'll be yet rip #🍂autumn anon🍂#Long Post

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elspethdixon · 11 months

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I'm a newbie to the Stony fandom by way of the MCU and was told the Resurrectionverse was one of my first must reads. Is there anything I should know going in that I wouldn't because I don't know the comics well?

That’s a complicated question. I’m going to post a short version that just lists major differences from the MCU and a long version that’s a summary of the comics backstory.

Short version: RR&R is a fixit fic for the 616 comics version of Civil War (and a previous event called Disassembled). The two biggest and most important differences between MCU and 616 Civil War are:

1) In the comics, Steve and Tony are much closer friends then they ever were in the movies/have been close friends for a decade, and

2) Instead of an international set of “accords” about superhero activity, the Civil War conflict is about the American government wanting to make every superpowered person join a registry and be subject to government oversight (this is thousands-to-millions of people rather than a few dozen because the comics also include mutants/the X-Men, and “Mutant Registration” is a political goal that anti-mutant conservatives in the comics have wanted for decades, we know from various X-Men storylines where people come back in time from alternate futures that in timelines where it’s implemented it often leads to very bad dystopian things), with Steve on the “fuck this idea and fuck you”/tear the system down side and Tony on the “if we cooperate maybe it won’t be as bad”/try to reform the corrupt system from within side. Bucky Barnes/the Winter Soldier has nothing to do with it. Also the conflict ends with Steve surrendering and then getting publicly assassinated by bad guys.

Other important differences:

Spider-Man is an early-20s adult who is married to MJ.

Tony Stark is about twenty years younger/the same age as Steve and is less of a manic-depressive quippy maverick and more of a clinically depressed control freak (who has never been romantically involved with Pepper). In the past he struggled with severe alcoholism and is now sober in the “I never drink alcohol ever” way.

Nick Fury is a white guy with a completely different backstory and personality from MCU Fury (and there was never an Agent Coulson, his right hand man is a guy named Dugan).

Hank Pym and Jan Van Dyne/Ant-Man and the Wasp were two of the original Avengers and are in their 30s with zero children (Hope doesn’t exist). Hank canonically has bipolar disorder and in the past has done both crazy mad scientist things and shitty relationship-destroying things while manic.

Luke Cage is married to Jessica Jones and they have a kid. There is a character named Spiderwoman/Jessica Drew. She is a physically enhanced former ninja who has nothing to do with Spider-Man.

Dr. Strange was involved in the whole Civil War thing on Steve’s/the anti-Registration side. The anti-Registration Avengers are crashing at his house (instead of in Wakanda) when the story starts.

Clint was never part of SHIELD and has a totally different backstory (he’s not in the first fic for reasons of temporary deadness but appears in the sequels).

Thor and the Asgardians are supernatural being/possibly actual deities rather than aliens. Thor was briefly dead during the whole registration fight but got better.

Jarvis is a human rather than an AI.

Sam Wilson/the Falcon has a pet bird that he’s psychically soul bonded to.

Bucky did not kill T’Challa’s father and T’Challa is not significantly involved in the Civil War conflict beyond glaring disapprovingly at it from Wakanda.

Wanda Maximoff/the Scarlet Witch is a mutant and one of Magneto’s kids. Prior to the whole Civil War thing she disastrously lost control of her powers and went crazy, destroying the Avengers’ headquarters and killing Vision and Clint (she later brings Clint back via those same powers). At the start of the story she is MIA.

#and that’s the short version #differences between comics and MCU civil war #marvel 616 #you also probably should know that it’s not just a fixit fic but a “take that everyone who keeps bashing our beloved blorbo Tony” fic #also we wrote the first couple stories before Black Widow/Winter Soldier was first introduced in the comics

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just-late-roman-republic-things · 9 months

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Today in The Last Generation of the Roman Republic: Riots. Gang leaders. Civil war!

There's a widespread perception that public order was breaking down in the years leading up to Caesar's civil war. Erich Gruen argues that this isn't really true. In particular, he identifies three causes of mass violence in this period: public demonstrations, political gangs, and wars.

Public demonstrations, such as riots, contios (a type of assembly), and hissing at or throwing things at politicians, were common throughout Roman history. Although we have more documentation for these events in the late republic than earlier times, that doesn't necessarily mean they happened more often. In fact, Gruen could only identify riots happening either in response to food shortages (in which case the goal was to make the state address the problem, not to overthrow the state), or started by political gangs.

Political gangs, most notably those of Milo and Clodius, but also used by the Catonians and triumvirs, were partisans and clients of specific politicians. Their goals also were not to overthrow the republican system, but to effect specific results in court cases and elections. They were also effectively stamped out in 52, three years before the outbreak of civil war, and had little relation to the war itself.

Lastly, wars. We all know about the civil wars that broke out in 88, 83 and 49. The first two were fought between Sulla, the lawfully elected consul, and his Marian enemies; after victory, Sulla attempted to strengthen the Roman republic, and Gruen found no evidence of Sulla's constitution being broadly overturned or increasing instability. The third war was between Caesar and Pompey, and Gruen attributes it to political polarization among a small portion of the aristocracy in key positions of power. Like the fights between Clodius and Milo, but on a much bigger scale.

Importantly, Gruen demonstrates that the vast majority of the people and Senate did not want a civil war. Nor did anyone want a revolution. The plebs had no "class consciousness" or ideology pushing for broad changes to the social order. And >90% of the Senate consistently voted for compromise and deescalation, but their votes were rejected by extremist consuls. Even Caesar and Pompey didn't want a war, but Pompey's network of alliances maneuvered him into a position where he had to take a more hostile stance, and Caesar invaded in response to the consuls and Pompey declaring war.

Caesar and Pompey's alliance remained intact as late as March of 50, and only broke down because independent agents like the Marcelli, Cato and Curio put a lot of sustained pressure on Pompey. None of them appear to have thought a civil war was possible until autumn, and Caesar crossing the Rubicon took them by surprise, even though Marcellus had effectively declared war over a month earlier.

Yeah, Marcellus, Cato and Curio really do not come out of this picture looking good. Caesar and Pompey's actions are somewhat more understandable, though not justified, and both of them sincerely tried to fix the breach several times.

We reach the end of Gruen's enormous sociopolitical survey of the late Roman republic. He builds on his previous chapters' conclusions to argue that the republic was not breaking down in 50. It was the 20 years of civil war from 49 to 30 that destroyed the republic, not the republic's decline that caused the wars.

Overall, I really like Gruen's analysis. He wraps up the book immediately after Caesar crosses the Rubicon, so I'm thinking of comparing his theory of the civil war with Robert Morstein-Marx's, which goes all the way up to Caesar's death. They have a few differences - most notably that RMM thinks the "point of no return" was not the Rubicon, but Caesar's siege of Brundisium later.

#erich gruen #last generation of the roman republic #jlrrt reads #ancient rome #caesar's civil war #jlrrt essays

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wyrmfedgrave · 3 months

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Pics: Bert Terhune related notes.

1. Mary Virginia Haws, Bert's mom was a writer of novels, travelogues, memoirs, domestic manuals, etiquette booklets & cookbooks.

2. Cover of 1 of her house 'running' books.

3. Who doesn't recognize a Lassie poster? This being for 1 of her many movies.

4 & 5. Covers of some of Bert's many works.

6. At least 1 of Bert's short stories focused on the danger that spies & assassins posed to General George Washington.

7. Poster for the "Ogre" TV movie, with a great tagline!

8. Bust of Cleisthenes, the Father of Athenian democracy.

9. Bust of Alexander Pope, the English poet, translator & satirist on society & politics.

10. John Dryden painting, an earlier English poet, literary critic, translator, satirist & playwright.

Notes (on yesterday's post):

1. The Adventurers Club of NY was a private men's club founded in 1912 by one A. Hoffman.

Its main functions were monthly dinners & a weekly lunch.

Their main rule was that "No one talks about Fight Club!"

There's complete silence on most of their activities.

Yet, for a secretive group, they certainly went out of their way to announce their events.

First, they published The Adventurer, a monthly newsletter that ran until 1960!

Then they had a weekly radio show, the Gold Seat Associates, where club members spoke of the most exciting moment of their lives.

The Adventurers Club finally faded out during the 1970s.

2. Lassie is the star of an American TV series (1954 to 1973) & several movies.

'She' (actually male dogs were used!) is a smart & fearless collie living in a Virginia farm with her companions - human or otherwise.

Later in the show, Lassie worked with forest rangers - out in the wilderness!

There's also an animated series that brought Lassie's heroic acts into the 2000s.

Lassie's latest film came out in 2022...

3. Mary V. Haws wrote several novels set in the southern states before the Civil War, which began in 1861.

(But, this was actually only after many decades of rising tensions - mostly on the subject of slavery.

It only ended after 4 years & some 610,000+ deaths!!)

Haws completed her last book at the age of 88 - while she was quite blind!

4. Other books by Bert Terhune are: "World's Great Events", "Famous American Indians", "Wonder Woman in History", "Around the World in 30 Days" & "Superwomen."

5. Scribblers are people who write for hire or as a hobby. Usually, scribblers worked for newspapers & magazines.

It's just that readers don't actually like their articles!

6. The American Revolution lasted from 1775 to 1783. Its causes were British taxes, the Boston Massacre & the Intolerable Acts.

Only 45% of colonists supported this war - as it forced neighbors against each other!

In Ben Franklin's case, it permanently tore his family apart...

7. Don't know why Lovecraft equates the famous folk he mentioned with ogres - except for Bonaparte, maybe.

Ogres are hideous looking, human eating giants from fairy tales & folk- lore.

It's no better in slang, as it describes "a person who's monstrously ugly, cruel or barbarous."

(Shrek they are not!)

Ogre comes to us thru France. But, it's actually from Etruscan (ancient north Italian nation & language) "Orcus", God of the Dead & punisher of oath- breakers.

8. "Where freedom 1st arose..."

A. This would be ancient Athens, in Greece on 508 BC. That's when Cleisthenes 1st set up a democratic government there.

(But, Howard could be referring to the American Revolution again.)

B. In that case, Congress did approve in becoming independent on July 2nd, 1776, thru the Lee Resolution.

We now celebrate when our politicians started signing the official Declaration of Independence, on July the 4th.

But, it took some time before all of the congressmen actually did so...

England didn't really 'recognize' our victory until the Paris Treaty of 1783!

Even then, Britain tried to 'reacquire' its 13 colonies during the War of 1812...

9. HPL seemed aware of his writing limits.

His evoking of imagery & emotion rested upon his skill at following strict poetic structures & his own aesthetic taste.

Lovecraft thought it more important to be formally correct, rather than to be creatively interesting.

10. As to Howard's personal writing style, it's actually his own copying of the forms of A. Pope & J. Dryden.

Pope was 1 of the most prominent writers of the 1700s.

Dryden was the 1st Poet Laureate of England & is chiefly responsible for introducing heroic couplets & the triplet into English poetic structures...

END.

#hpl output #history #adult lovecraft #notes #Lassie #american revolution #american civil war #democracy #ogre #english poets

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free-for-all-fics · 6 months

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Captain Louis Renault Prompt feat. you as Rick’s sister! Pls tag me if you’re inspired by any of this and I’d love to read it! 💄❤️💋

You’re Rick’s much younger sister. While he’s in his mid-to-late 30’s, you’re only in your early or mid-20’s. You may or may not have been an accident. When you still lived in New York City, you used to be an avid reader of The Boston Globe’s “Women’s Pages”, which featured Polly Webster’s column, “War Time Wife”, packed with tips for weathering the hardships of the war years— including how to generate income from home-based businesses. World War II is an important expansion period for women in business as it brings many women into the workforce, filling jobs so men can go off and fight. That same patriotic fervor also inspires many women to consider starting businesses of their own. But neither of you can return to America, and you both left Paris during the Occupation. The reason is a little vague. Yours and Rick's past is shrouded in mystery, so much so that many people have tried to speculate and uncover the truth of the circumstances surrounding your rather sudden and abrupt departure, but all have failed. For all that is revealed, nobody knows exactly why or when both of you left America, nor why neither of you can return.

However, Major Heinrich Strasser and the Nazis know what you did and why you left. Rick was once an anti-fascist Arms Dealer who supported the Abyssinian regime in its war against Italy, and later the leftist coalition in the Spanish Civil War, with the side he backed losing miserably on each occasion. This and various personal failures led to him being exiled, whether by choice or circumstance. As for what you did to get exiled alongside your brother? That’s a secret you thought only you and Rick knew, but apparently the Nazis know too. They’ve compiled dossiers on the both of you and tell you not to worry, they won’t broadcast either of them. When you and Rick read them, your main concern is: Are your eyes really that color?

Unbeknownst to anyone except Rick and Sam, you were born sickly and that chronic sickness has been with you all throughout your life. It was always your brother who had to watch over you to make sure you didn't run too far away or overexert yourself when playing outside. Rick always kept a close eye on you to make sure you didn't get hurt. If you did get sick or hurt, he took care of you and made sure you had everything you needed, including the right medicine. You’ve often been in poor health. By the age of fifteen, you’d already contracted an attack of mumps, chickenpox, and measles. You recovered from all of those maladies, but were bedridden for most of your life and didn’t get out much due to your weakened immune system. The depressing atmosphere at home in New York City made you even more miserable while you were convalescing.

You were once misdiagnosed as having a terminal illness and, believing you were dying, you wanted to see outside of New York while you still had the chance. Your brother took you on a trip to the seaside, hoping the waters and fresh air could act as a sort of cure to improve your health. Your health was improved only a little, but you found comfort in quietly resting and occasionally taking short walks in the garden or on the beach. This improvement was temporary, and your sufferings once again grew sharper, which confined you to your bed again. After more doctors examined you and it was discovered you were misdiagnosed, you and Rick were so relieved.

It’s not easily noticeable to an untrained eye and you can hold yourself together most days, since you found coping mechanisms that worked for you back then and still work for you now. You’re much stronger now as an adult than you were as a child or teenager, but you still have your good days and bad days. On good days, you almost feel normal and are much more active and energetic. Any pain or discomfort you usually feel is manageable, almost numbed down to practically nothing. On bad days, you often feel like your body hates you and is trying to kill you from the inside. You’re usually confined to bedrest until the worst of it passes, which annoys you because you get bored easily. There’s only so many books you can read before your brain goes numb and your eyes become bleary with drowsiness.

You follow a strict regimen where you take multiple medications everyday and sometimes use a cane on days where you're too weak to walk or hold yourself up while standing, but you made a point to disguise this cane as a fashionable statement piece to hide its true purpose. Although your chronic illness isn’t fatal, Rick still hates that you're hurting and suffering. The medication you have to take and strict routine you live by daily seems like a lot for you to carry mentally, emotionally, and physically just so you can remain somewhat functioning, but you’ve gotten used to it by now.

Captain Louis Renault is an officer appointed by Vichy as Prefect of Police in Casablanca. He’s a handsome, middle-aged Frenchman, debonair and gay, but withal a shrewd and alert official. You still remember part of your conversation from back when you and he first met. He made quite the first impression and it’s impossible to forget. That’s putting it nicely.

“I was told you were the most beautiful woman ever to come to Casablanca. That was a gross understatement.”

“And you, Captain Renault, are wasting your flattery.”

“Oh, on the contrary, I believe my flattery to be well-spent. I may be twice your age, my dear, but I can assure you with full confidence that I'm well-endowed.”

The double meaning when he called himself well-endowed was not lost on you. You were many things, but naive wasn’t one of them. You only rolled your eyes and shrugged off his compliments and attempts at flirtation. The nerve and audacity of this man! He was lucky Rick wasn’t around to hear and that you didn’t care enough to relay to him what was said. You wouldn’t exactly call them friends, but you do know they have some sort of agreement or understanding. You know Rick has paid Renault with bribes by letting him win at roulette and, in return, the corrupt official has turned a blind eye and has permitted your establishment to remain open. Another reason is that, although exit visas have been sold here, neither you nor Rick have ever sold one. He and Rick have gone through women faster than cigarettes, and the both of them seem perfectly happy to drink or screw themselves to death without a care for what goes on outside Casablanca.

“How extravagant you are, throwing away women like that. Someday they may be scarce. Now I think I shall pay a call on Yvonne, maybe get her on the rebound.”

When questioned by Renault about his and your backstory, Rick keeps to himself and gives only vague answers concerning yours and his pasts. He doesn’t go into detail. He especially doesn’t tell him anything about your past or your illness. He respects your privacy as much as his own. Your secrets are none of Renault’s business, but if you want to tell him about it, you’ll tell him yourself. To cover for you, he says he came to Casablanca for his health rather than yours.

“I have often speculated on why you don’t return to America. Did you abscond with the church funds? Did you run off with a senator's wife? I like to think you killed a man. It's the romantic in me.”

“It was a combination of all three.”

“And what in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?”

“My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.”

“Waters? What waters? We're in the desert.”

“I was misinformed.”

Rick’s idealistic younger self fought alongside those resisting fascism, but the expansion of Axis authority and being suddenly abandoned by the love of his life made him cynical and apathetic. He doesn't take sides with the Vichy authorities, the Nazis, or the Resistance. Rick is now a jaded and weary man who projects a selfish facade, but you know deep down he's still a romantic and a sentimentalist with noble goals. You obviously weren’t there during his romance with Ilsa, uninterested in being a third wheel. You only met her briefly a handful of times, but she seemed like a lovely young lady. You got along just fine and were very close in age, so maybe you could’ve been friends if you had the chance to get to know her better.

But you remember waiting for Rick and Sam on the train, having already boarded and taken your seat to get out of the heavy rain. You were very concerned that the wet, the cold, and the wind would make you very sick if you stood outside for too long. Rick insisted on waiting for Ilsa but, when the last call was announced, only he and Sam joined you. Sam told you later in secret that Ilsa checked out of her hotel, but gave Rick a note that came for him just after he left. You didn’t see what Ilsa wrote, and Rick wouldn’t tell you what the letter said even if you asked. But he didn’t have to. As a woman yourself, you just knew that your brother must’ve been in love with her and her sudden and abrupt abandonment of him must’ve hurt. Much more than he let on.

Ever since establishing Rick's Café Américain, an expensive and chic nightclub and gambling den, its air of sophistication and intrigue has attracted varied clientele including Vichy French and Nazi German officials, refugees desperate to reach the still neutral United States and those who prey on them. Your saloon is infamous for its rogue types and criminals. You like Casablanca well enough and make a decent living, but it’s dangerous as hell and you still dream of leaving. You know you don’t want to live out the rest of your life and die in Casablanca, but you don’t know where you’d go yet or how you’d get there. You still need to figure that out.

You work as a singer or waitress sometimes, but the regulars and staff all know you’re practically the co-owner and second boss. You may be an unmarried young woman, but they know not to underestimate you or get on your bad side. You get along just splendidly with the staff, especially Sam, who’ll happily wheel over his salmon-colored piano and play your favorite songs for you upon request, and sometimes sing duets with you. Like Rick, you won’t tolerate certain people in your place. You rip up German checks and sign new checks. You have access to the safe in the small, dark room just off the office like your brother does. After all, you’re his right hand and it’s your money too. He’s just made two specific rules when it comes to you:

Rule #1: Don’t date the customers.

Rule #2: Don’t bring your boyfriends here.

He’ll book you a hotel room for that sort of thing, but he strictly prohibits mixing business with pleasure. You’ve always respected his rules, but your past lovers sometimes haven’t. They’d try to gain entry to surprise you at work and Abdul, a large, burly man who stood guard at the door, always stopped them from getting any further when Rick shook his head at them. Your romances were hardly anything serious, often frivolous fancies that fizzled out quickly. You haven’t been very lucky in love and often feel like you’ve been dating boys when what you really want and need is a man.

Rick isn’t faring much better and still exhibits the usual signs of a man that’s suffered a broken heart, and it must be because of her. Why else would he tell Sam never to play “As Time Goes By” or drown his sorrows in alcohol? Why else would he keep up a cold and selfish facade, suddenly refusing to stick his neck out for anybody? He doesn’t drink with customers, he plays solitary chess by either playing against himself or playing an opponent through written correspondence only, etc. He’s told you that his professed neutrality allows him to skirt trouble with every competing faction in Casablanca. On the rare occasion he does take an honest stand, he does so in a low-key way that offers him plausible deniability. While you know that may be true, you also know that, while that’s all very logical, it’s not the only reason.

After a few months, you begin to suspect another reason Captain Renault comes to Rick’s is to see you. His timing can’t be a coincidence. He only seems to come into the saloon whenever you’re performing on stage or otherwise working, as if he loves listening to you sing or wants to spend most of his time with you personally. Renault often sits at a table on the café terrace, watching the evening's performance. You don’t need nor want his money, but still he tries using Emil, Carl, or Sacha to pass you little handwritten notes, all of which you immediately tear up in front of him, making a show of how you’re not going to bother to read them. This does nothing to discourage or dissuade him from pursuing you romantically and sexually, however. He loves a challenge, and he loves you, even if you don’t believe him yet.

He flirts with you and lays on that Frenchman charm of his every chance he gets, but he doesn’t lay it on too thick. Can’t make it too obvious since Rick is always around here somewhere. Whenever he finds you drinking and/or smoking alone, he’ll invite himself to join you and sit next to or across from you. He fills two empty glasses, helping you and himself to a fine glass of brandy, champagne, or French wine. He then flicks open his lighter, giving you and himself a light. You each take a drag of your respective cigarettes. “Well, darling. I’m very pleased with you. Now you’re beginning to live like a Frenchwoman. Oh, Emil. Please, a bottle of your best champagne, and put it on my bill.”

“Very well, sir.”

“No, Captain, please.“

“No. Please, my darling, it is a little game we play. They put it on the bill, I tear the bill up. It is very convenient. But I’ll pay my tab this time because, my dear, I love you.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“All right, all right. For you, I’ll shut up, because, my dear, I love you.”

You look at him bitterly before changing the subject, never taking your eyes off him. “That was some going-over your men gave my place this afternoon. We just barely got cleaned up in time to open.”

“Well, I told Strasser he wouldn’t find the letters here. But I told my men to be especially destructive. You know how that impresses Germans?”

You only roll your eyes at his antics. You may be pretty, but you’re not a pretty little fool. You know what kind of man Renault is and hate him with your entire being…or do you? You’re not afraid to speak your mind, and have been so bold as to call him a rascal, a scamp, a rake, an indomitable playboy and more to his face, your voice always laced with venom. You’ve got a fiery personality that sets his heart ablaze. That and your lively spirit are just more qualities he loves about you. You’re a little spitfire, and he’s not going to be the one to extinguish or stamp out the light which shines ever so brightly in your eyes. God help whoever would dare to do such a thing. That hypothetical person would quite possibly find themself at the end of his pistol. He’d never arrest you, but he has teased you by threatening to handcuff you if you continued to be so naughty and resist his advances. He’d call it “resisting arrest”.

Renault is a hedonist and has embraced the corruption and vice that comes with his police uniform. Young Bulgarian newlyweds, the Brandels, try to buy passage to Lisbon from him, but he wants either a very large sum of money or sex with the wife. Renault is willing to take the money, if they do happen to have it, and apparently has always kept his word. But still, you’re disgusted that he’d extort desperate and vulnerable women like that. There is a silence. Annina is very disturbed as she talks to Rick. He quickly goes off, leaving her alone at the table. She remains seated, too demoralized to move. But in the end, Rick helps them to raise the money by cheating to let them win at roulette so they can afford to pay Renault for an exit visa, rather than the young wife having to use an alternative method of payment. Rick has done a beautiful thing, which further shows you that he isn’t as heartless as he claims to be. Renault, seeing that Jan has won, gets up from his table to follow Rick. He playfully prods at Rick’s cynical facade, showing that he doesn’t really buy his friend’s gruff demeanor.

“As I suspected, you’re a rank sentimentalist.”

“Yeah? Why?”

“Why do you interfere with my little romances?”

“Put it down as a gesture to love.”

“Well, I’ll forgive you this time. But I’ll be in tomorrow night with a breathtaking blonde, and it’ll make me very happy if she loses.”

Whenever you have an especially bad episode that leaves you bedridden for days at a time, you get to see Rick’s caring disposition as his mask melts away and he becomes Richard, the brother you remember from before the war. He often summons physicians to him every morning and three or four other times during the day, questioning them minutely as to your condition. You’ll want for nothing and won’t miss any medication times while under his watch.

There’s a little platform that’s been built into the saloon as a makeshift stage but, whenever you’re out, the stage remains empty. Musical entertainment is one of the main attractions that pulls customers into the saloon and, while the crowd greatly enjoys Sam’s singing and piano playing, the more days that pass without you making an appearance, the more the crowd misses your voice and guitar playing. In your absence, music still plays and business still does well, but there’s a noticeable dip. The place isn’t as full as it usually is when you’re around, so Rick hires Corinna to fill in for you until you can return. Her presence helps, but it’s not quite the same without you.

One night, you’re so sick and tired of being sick and tired all the damn time that you have way too much to drink in a vain attempt to either numb the physical pain your body is suffering through or to numb your brain from having thoughts of Louis— Renault! Captain Renault! You’ve never called him Louis and it annoys you how much you suddenly want to hear the way his name sounds when it comes from your lips. You sit at the bar, drinking brandy and conversing with Sacha. You glance out of the corner of your eye to covertly watch Renault from afar as he’s sitting at a table, conversing and drinking with his superiors. You turn to look at Sacha and extend your empty glass to him, ordering him to give you another.

Rick interrupts and tells Sacha you’ve had enough. You try to order Sacha to ignore your brother and to fill it up. Sacha loves you, and you pay him just as Rick does, but Rick is older than you and currently sober. His word trumps yours in this situation. You wheel on Rick with drunken fury, telling him you’re sick and tired—, but Rick takes you by the arm, telling you you’re going home because you've had a little too much to drink. You try to fight back. Who does Rick think he is? Your father? How dare he order you around! Renault watches the scene unfold with a worried brow and follows both of you outside as Rick puts your coat over your shoulders, which you object vehemently to.

Renault offers to take you home, claiming it’d be faster than trying to get a taxi at this hour. He has no more commitments for tonight, so he could watch over you until Rick finishes up business here. Rick very much doesn’t want to leave you alone with Louis, but, for whatever reason, he has no other option. Renault helps you into his car, buckling you in. Rick is left standing on the curb, his face completely deadpan as he smokes. He tells Louis in no uncertain terms to call him as soon as he gets in the door so he knows you’re safe, and warns him not to do anything funny. He expects him to get you into bed, but not get you into bed. He doesn’t need to elaborate. He knows Louis knows exactly what he means. He nods and gets in the car, leaving Rick to watch as it pulls away. He has to wait for Ilsa so he can’t come home tonight, but you’ll be fine. Louis wouldn’t do anything to you. You’ll be fine.

You wake up the next morning and immediately regret it. Your head and body are already suffering the consequences of your chronic illness combined with your aggressive hangover. You’ve learned the hard way why doctors always tell you never to mix alcohol with your pills. You don’t remember much of last night or getting home, so you scream when Renault knocks lightly on the door and comes in. You thought he was Rick! Where is Rick? He pours you a glass of water and hands you your medications for both your hangover and your illness before he sits on a chair across from you, keeping a respectable distance. So he knows. Great. You went to such lengths to hide it but circumstances drove Rick to break his promise to himself and to you. He had to finally tell Louis about your illness when the latter called him on the phone after getting you home. You have no one to blame but yourself, really. You made the foolish decision to drink too much and- wait. Hold on. Why do you feel so cold? A quick glance under your covers sends a cold sweat through your body. You’re naked. Why are you naked!? Oh, God. Oh God, oh God, oh God.

“Please tell me, we didn't...”

“Did we ever. Oh, my dear, it was extraordinary! The heat, the gymnastics. I mean, you had moves that made even me blush,” Renault teases you with a suggestive smirk.

“Oh, no. This is bad. Whatever happened last night, don't tell me. I'd rather not know.”

“What, that we didn't go to bed together?” He takes a drink of brandy. He’s helped himself to Rick’s private stock. It was a long night of watching over you and he barely got any sleep, so he needs it. Hopefully his friend won’t mind too much.

“We didn't?” You look at him dumbfounded. Did you hear him correctly? Are you still sleeping and just having a very weird fever dream? Who is this man and what has he done with Captain Renault?

“Nope, I turned you down cold,” Renault confirms, popping the P.

“You, the man who's been trying to get me into his bed since day one, had a chance to sleep with me, and you didn’t...? Why-why am I naked?”

“What, you mean you don't remember the part where you passed out, woke up again, shouted at me, ‘It's too hot in that neon hellhole,’ I believe it was, then tore your clothes off and proceeded to pass out again, forcing me to carry you to your room and tuck you into bed?”

“I do that. Sometimes. When I'm upset. And you would be, too, if you were a woman and in my position! As if the physical pain I live with day in and day out isn’t enough, you just had to keep coming to Rick’s and worm your way into my heart and my thoughts! What a fool I am to fall for a man like you!”

You’d never even consider a romance or sexual relationship with him unless he changed his ways. He’s going to have to prove to you that he can change and, if you do this, you’ll have to be discreet about it. You’ve always respected Rick’s rules but then, of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, Captain Renault walked into yours.

You and Louis, as he’s insisted you call him by his first name in private now that you’re dating, have to get creative to keep your love affair a secret from Rick and the rest of your friends and associates. You can’t just use postal acronyms or Morse code! Those would be far too obvious and Rick would be able to decipher them immediately. The little messages he passes to you when you’re at work become red herrings to throw people off the scent. You really keep in contact by passing messages in lipstick tubes, film canisters, lockets, or rings with hidden compartments. When you first go out to the market to buy new makeup, the merchant pretends to offer you rare and one of a kind lipstick colors he claims have been made “especially for you”. The lipstick names are actually code so that you’ll know they’re from Louis. Inside each special lipstick tube is a small compartment underneath the actual lipstick color that holds encrypted messages to you. The first one simply reads, "Do you recognize my handwriting, my dear?"

It’s your cute little way of sending messages with a kiss, and you get free lipstick out of it too. Whenever Louis sees you wearing one of his shades, his blood boils with desire and he has to resist the urge to kiss you in public. If he could, he’d grab you and kiss you so many times and with so much passion that your lipstick would smear or get wiped off. Your and Louis’ relationship is nowhere near perfect and you’ve had your fair share of disagreements and frustrations, usually due to your significant age difference and the stressful situations that inevitably come with living in Casablanca during time of war. Often you’ve rolled your eyes at each other and, during one of your little lovers’ quarrels, Louis even once said to you, "War? You do not yet know war. You are a child who has tasted their first autumn frost and called it winter."

You and Louis face many difficulties, indeed, but you overcome them. You made a mutual decision early on in your relationship to do so. Despite your differences, you both feel like you’re desperately in love with each other. On rare, opportune times when you have the chance to get away in between Rick’s daily checkups on you, you pack some stuff to take with you and sneak out. Louis meets you at a secret halfway point, parking his car far away enough so he can drive you to his place without either of you being seen. He can’t drive or walk you home, but it’s worth it to have these romantic date nights, which often include dinner and sex. Neither of you really want to have sex in Rick’s place. Not only would it be far too risky with the chances of getting caught in the act much higher than either of you are comfortable with, but the very thought of it is an instant mood killer.

Your brother finds one of your secret messages, but nobody has been able to crack the code since it’s one you and Louis created yourselves. Only you and he know it. Rick and Sam ask you about it, but you feign ignorance. Just like Louis and Rick, you’re a talented liar. You know exactly what this particular message means, you know what they all mean. They’re so romantic and sometimes even racy. You’ve kept them private for a reason, too embarrassed to explain what it says or why you understand it.

One night, a middleman passes Louis’ secret message onto you by handing you a film canister. You hear something rattling inside when you shake it. That’s weird. Usually the film canisters contain slips of paper that don’t make much noise, if any. What’s making that sound? When you open it, there’s no film and there’s no note. But there is a ring. Words cannot even begin to describe the great deal of ambivalence that’s overwhelming you in this moment. You feel like your heart is in your throat. It’s beating too fast. Your mouth goes dry and you struggle to swallow or breathe.

You feel like your body is on autopilot as you walk all the way to Louis’ office to confront him. You’re struggling to keep it together. What’s the meaning of this? Your hands are shaking as you hold the film canister up for him to see, the ring still safely inside. Louis takes both of your hands in his own, kissing them. You clutch the canister in your fist as he holds your hands and has you sit down. He helps you breathe as he waits for you to overcome your shock. You’ve never been proposed to before, so you can’t tell if what you’re feeling mentally and emotionally is exacerbating your illness, or if this is just what it’s supposed to feel like when the person you love proposes to you. His hands are so warm. You try to focus on that and the warmth of his brown eyes to keep yourself grounded. Louis already knows that you know very well what him giving you a ring means, so he doesn’t feel the need to respond to your line of questioning. He’s right, you do know what it means. But your brain is still struggling to catch up to your body.

"What... What are you thinking? There's no possible way... No one would allow it!" You’re an adult woman, you know you don’t need Rick’s or anyone else’s permission to marry. The choice is yours and yours alone, but having to make such a life-altering decision where there’s no going back fills you with apprehension. But maybe that’s what you want. No going back. You know what it is to work now, to have a full day, to be tired in a good way. You don’t want to return to your pre-war existence. You want to move forward.

"I know I shouldn't ask this of you, but I can't keep it in any longer. When the war is over, the world won't be the same place as it was when it started. And I'll make something of myself, I promise.”

"I know you will! But, Louis,—”

"Until I met you, I never really knew what love was supposed to be. If we can't be happy here, we must leave for a place that will accept our love.“

“But, Louis, is there such a place? Think... I can't bear to see you hurt."

“If our love has no home, let us spend our lives searching together! Bet on me. And if Ricky casts you off, it won't be forever. He’ll come around. And until he does, I promise to devote every waking minute to your happiness. If I can’t have you, I don’t want anyone. So I beg of you again... My darling, marry me! I promise I will make you happy."

"You...just won't give up, will you? Of all the crazy...stubborn...foolish men..."

"My dear, answer me, please!"

"Louis, I love you. Take me away. Take me to a place where we can be happy.”

#captain Renault x reader #Louis Renault x reader #captain Louis Renault x reader #captain renault #captain Louis Renault #Louis Renault #claude rains #Rick Blaine and sister reader #casablanca #fic prompt #fic ideas #random fic ideas #pls tag me if you’re inspired by this #I’d love to read it

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