#Dazai learns and grows with help form the people around him

[lil-vibes]

i would die if you wrote anything expanding on that post about chuuya being taken over by baki and just floating all over the place and speaking with an echo until he gets to dazai at the ADA office - that was a great idea, very cool

yooo thanks man !!!

here you go, a little more brainworms regarding that au!

• when Baki wakes up in a back alleyway and tries to stand up they overdo it and snap Chuuya's spine in the process. they try to walk and all of a sudden they are on the ground with mild pains from the vessel' legs. they aren't sure how a human body works, so for now they decide to just float.

• Baki, in my hc, is very curious for just about everything because it's quite rare that they 'view' the world through a humans' eyes

• piggybacking off of that, i think that they'd have trouble expressing their thoughts in the beggining (speaking in short, sometimes conflicting/unfinished sentences) because using human vocal cords without snapping them is difficult and also words have changed since the last time they were actively using them. Ranpo just chucks a dictionary at them and they absolutely ABSORB every word

• i also think that they'd want to sword fight with both Fukuzawa and Golden Demon/ Kouyou for fun

• they can make Dazai float and he just about gives up on life ( something something 'your human existence can not deny mine' yeah me thinks)

• i personally think that theyd be slightly more chill than expected, however when they get upset, or emotions generally run high, the control over the body begings to wobble. some examples of that being:

- the overlapping voices are the most common ones. they are a mass manifested through war and suffering and vengeance, thus Baki has to be extremely careful of how loud they speak because there's a great chance that someone's eardrums will explode.

- corruption markings are a damn near permanent fixture on Chuuya's skin, more so to help remind everyone that this isn't Chuuya in control right now (Dazai is constantly stressed about it, and has to consistently tell himself that it's fine), but they tend to grow and glow and move around like they are alive too, as if also taking offence that Baki is agitated. they also burn if touched directly

- people around an Agitated Baki feel like they are about to poof out of existence simply by being too close. Mori nearly dies once because Baki can see his general soul and is not pleased. it kinda feels like your blood suddenly starts running the other way, or your like heart is beating backwards and double in speed. not fun !

- sometimes birds fly into the windows. maybe the sky tints red, maybe there is ringing in the ears, static in the brain of those around them. maybe looking at Chuuya's form hurts a little, burns a little, blurs around the edges. what were his features again? what color were his eyes? his hair?

• Baki loves Chuuya and learning all about him :] ( "and his name? what is his name? we would love to know who our vessel is."

"it's Chuuya Nakahara.."

the entity thinks, hums for a bit, vibrations making the lights swim around it, then pleased, it smiles "hmm Chuuya... it suits him a lot" )

• disregarding stormbringer for a moment, when asked how exactly one traps a being like it, Baki kindly informs them that there are runes carved into every bone inside Chuuya. yes, they do mean every single one.

• also, and that's a little.... gruesome, but it's a misconception that Baki and Chuuya share only a consciousness. "it's like that most of the time, but right now what you are looking at is ... ah, let's say, our clothes. we are woven in-between his skin and bones and every blood vessel, but also we are separate. it's like a hand pupet? we are under his skin :)"

• Baki absolutely says unhinged things like its normal

• they also find it funny to tease Ranpo because they recognise just how smart of a human he is but also he's just that to them. a human

• i also have this scene when someone complains about the sun or something so Baki just,,, shifts either the Earth or the Sun a bit so that it's not shining directly at the person. everyone FREAKS abt this btw

• Baki also loves the Akutagawas and Kouyou bc Chuuya loves them :]

some skk things bc i love them:

• Baki tells Dazai, hand pressed against his heart, looking him dead in the eyes with that slightly unhinged expression "no wonder you hold onto warm things, for you have been warm once, then never again. no wonder you seek to be warm again" and Dazai just has to go through his day after that

• okay last thing off of the top of my head, but somehow they (the ada) get into the topic of worship and Baki casually drops that yes! they get prayers sometimes but nothing even begins to compare to the feeling of the worship from their most devoted person. naturally everyone wants to know who that is, and Baki tilts their head a little and then points to a Very Confused Dazai (Ranpo and Kunikida are exhanging money in the backround btw).

("but... i don't worship the hat rack?? what?"

"oh, but that can't be" they sway a little from their perch on Dazai's desk, appearing as if deep in thought. after the day, Dazai knows better. "but we can distinctly recal feeling a sort of warmth from you. say, how do you define worship? because it can be food offerings too. or thoughts about us or even just the pure, unrelenting faith that as long as you believe in us, your wish will be made into existence"

Dazai blinks at them, stunned.

"so now, has your answer changed?" )

• LAST one. Ranpo asks them if Dazai has ever nullified corruption with a kiss and Baki is like we think so? but Dazai denies that hard. Baki counters by saying that every place where 'coruption' has been nullified burns to this day. twice on left the wrist, once at the forearm. once at the right hand, once at the cheek, and once ot the lips. Dazai may or may not work harder to resolve the issue after that (he's never gonna beat the gay accusations)

(end of skk things hh)

• when it's time to surrender themselves back to Chuuyas will, Baki tells the ada + the Akutagawas and Kouyou, that when their time finally comes, when Chuuya is either one of them or dust in the wind, they will remember the kindness they have experienced. that they will live forever in the mind of a god

• Chuuya is so, so confused after waking up

#bro i didnt meant to go on a whole rant my bad #i never expected someone to ask abt this so thank you #i hope this was good enough ! [shaking and crying in social anxiety] #i have a lot of body horror in mind for what this Being can be like in battle but i also love comfort so here we are #kyouka takes baki out for crepes after a while #in this au dazai and mori are Stressed but for different reasons #i think that baki laughs once and dazai has a heart attack bc thats CHUUYAS laugh and WOW!!! he hasnt heard that in 3 years!! #i have such a vague plot that i spin around in my head before falling asleep #and it DOES involve adam and verlaine #arahabaki!chuuya #arahabaki #chuuya my love #writing promt #bsd #skk #bsd ada #pebbles (me) is being plagued by thoughts again #anon ask #my hc #personal hc #chuuya nakahara

[wwouldvecouldveshouldve]

Male, romantic preference

MITB: INFJ

information about your hobbies

Oooo, I crochet, listen to music, cook, just adopted a cat, go to the gym (trying to become a competitive weight lifter)

information about topics you like to discuss

I’m a psychology and English major graduate. So I live to talk about sociology and human history and how that relates to the culture and habit of modern humans. Love deep conversation, I hate small talk. I give good life advice to my friends and people younger than me.

information about things that you hate

I am not a math person. I am not a fan of video games or most science fiction. Like I don’t like Star Trek or Star Wars but 2001 a space odyssey is my jam.

information about your personality

My personality seems to be a combo between Akutagawa, Poe, and Kunikida. Need to be recognized but also anxious and type A neurotic.

something that makes you unique (fo example, you like antiques from the 19th century. trust me, there's something that makes you a little bit different from most of the people around you)

I am working with my local university’s history, art, and earth sciences departments to be able to create experiments to recreate artwork normally seen in museums for the purpose of giving stolen artwork back to their original cultures.

if you are okay with being matched with a character who commits crimes/is a bad person/etc

Yeah, I don’t really get along with people who try to do the right thing by the right means all the time.

something that you value in others

Honesty and commitment. I hate flakes and cheaters.

something that you can't stand in others

Cheating.

I hope you were not kept waiting, darling! here is your matchup with the one and only kunikida!

kunikida is honest, practical, and reliable and he expects the same for his partner. of course, he eventually learns after meeting you that the love of someone's life does not have to meet every single one of his requirements. you fall first but when I tell you he falls HARD. he remembers every promise, anniversary, and special date. he cuts out a certain portion of his budget to spend on you, but he is weak to your requests. he is a complete loser for your love and dazai occasionally takes advantage of that. he enjoys conversations with you and is always looking to learn. your knowledge on people and life is always recorded in his notebook (every detail about you is in there <3) and he sometimes uses your psychology facts in his work. he's very grateful for how you help others and how you have changed him. he does not particularly mind your dislike for math, despite having taught the subject. he understands, after teaching many students, that people have different specialities and preferences and it is useless to pressure someone into being someone that they are not. kunikida appreciates how organized you are but you two must keep each other in check when you take things to far. additionally, you give good advice to each other in times of need. the agency thinks it's adorable! it takes a bit of time for kunikida to get used to your cat. eventually, however, he grows to adore the little fellow and spoils it a little too much. he enjoys being able to find it whenever he comes home, it's a stable variable in his life. he's always a little nervous that you two could be injured, so he forms various habits to keep your little family safe.

I finished it! I kept putting it off (I am too obsessed with verlaine to function), sorry. I hope you enjoyed the matchup :)

#keysasks

[fenixfoxtrot510]

Long post with some BSD manga spoilers------

Seen some people get on other fans for fixating on Sigma being 3 years old.

And I can respect where they are coming from because Sigma is an adult with a fully developed adult body. He ran a casino all by himself for 8 days.

I also cannot let go of the fact that he is 3 years old.

I can't let go of that detail because being an adult is more than just being in a fully mature body. You can't form a fully mature person based on nature and biology alone. Nurture also plays a big factor in a persons development and personality.

A lot of what makes someone mature is lived experience.

And Sigma only has 3 years of that total.

There's just so much that Sigma is probably behind in development wise because he just hasn't been alive long enough to gain the lived experiences necessary for it. He doesn't have pre-made memories from the book to contribute to his personality.

I think that it absolutely affects him on an emotional level. Because emotions are something that's developed with time and experience, not just biology.

Sure, Sigma can run a casino and remember the profiles of thousands of people but he also has to mask his emotions so that people don't notice he's struggling with lack of lived experience.

Because he does struggle with the knowledge that he's been thrust straight into life with no real clue of what to do.

- I can tell you from experience that being thrown into the real world after not being taught how to do any kind of adulting is scary as hell. And that terror only gets worse when you look back at the people that were supposed to teach you and they just tell ya to figure it out on your own. You are an adult. They won't tell you what to do and you don't know what to do but everyone just expects you to do something because you are an adult now. -

So someone like Sigma, with no prior memories or experience to fall back on and no one to ask, ends up having anxiety and panic attacks when he finds himself in situations he doesn't know how to handle.

It's easy for other people to manipulate him because at least if someone is giving him some directions then that's better than no direction at all.

He's an easy target because of his lack of experience and emotional insecurity.

That is a direct result of his age.

Sigma is an adult biologically. But he is also 3 years old. He never had a childhood and that has to affect him. How he sees and interacts with the world.

When he plays rock, paper, scissors with Dazai, I really can't ignore how he gets frustrated when he can't win a game. And when he wins one time, he does a little happy dance while Dazai dramatically pretends to be beaten. It never occurs to him that Dazai was probably just humoring him. He finally won a game against Dazai! And he's happy!

And Dazai playing up his defeat right there just tips me off that Dazai also can tell that Sigma is affected by his chronological age. That Sigma could use some kind of help to catch up with where most adults are at.

That's why I think Dazai tries to engage Sigma in silly antics that come off more like playing together instead of just harassing Sigma like he does with Chuuya or Kunikida. It feels more genuine to me.

He probably knows that Sigma will not only benefit from some playing around. But he can also probably tell that while playing, Sigma will grow to trust Dazai and listen when he encourages Sigma to think and make decisions for himself; instead of just passively falling back in the cycle of abuse where other people control him till they have what they want and throw him away.

Dazai is giving him a safe relationship where he can be free to learn and grow and make his own choices.

There's nothing wrong with needing more time to mature past the physical developments of life. A lot of people that grew up in abusive and/or neglectful homes miss out on having full childhoods and many absolutely can benefit from making time to just indulge in their inner child as adults.

I'm one of them.

And I feel like Sigma, having zero past at all, would 100% need some time to be a kid in order to fully grow into himself.

So yeah.

Sigma is an adult.

And he'd be a kick ass detective with the ADA and solve all the crimes.

But after work hours he still deserves some time just have fun, eat cookies, and settle into safe place he can call home surrounded by people that care about him.

Maybe this doesn't make sense if you never found yourself behind other kids, development wise?

Maybe someone else could explain it better.

But I really haven't seen anyone try and talk about why Sigma being 3 is actually an important detail for his character development so I wanted to try at least.

#sigma bsd #bsd #dazai osamu #sigma likes cookies! #he LIKES cookies!!!! #let him have a cookie damnit!

[chrichri-chan-18-love]

For you (Yandere Harem x Reader)

OUR YANDERES FOR THIS HAREM:

ILLUMI (HUNTER X HUNTER)

CHROLLO (HUNTER X HUNTER)

IZAYA (DURARARA)

LIGHT (DEATH NOTE)

DAZAI (BUNGO STRAY DOGS)

You... you were one of the most unlucky creatures you’ve ever known. You had once been a strong and proud yokai. The lengedary nine tail fox, descendant of one of the most noble bloodlines among your kind. One day, a shinigami asked for your assistance, claiming that a “friend” of his, needed a much stronger ally.

Light Yagami, a child that was arrogant and saw himself as a just and noble person. You disguised yourself as a normal human girl and gave him a good lecture about that little fantasy about his, when he threatened to write your name in the Death Note, you revealed yourself and told him off.

“If you think that this little notebook can help you become a god, you are mistaken. You are a human that will live and die, then whatever legacy you think you can create,will be forgotten with time.”

Your words had an impact on him, you however, had an even bigger one. He became obsessed, coming to you for advice, talking to you for hours and trying to charm you. However you knew better, you never allowed him to know anything but the bare minimum about your kind and abilities.

When Light became too invasive, you didn’t hesitate to use an old techinque to cross dimensions. The only good thing about Japan was that no matter how many universes there were, with all the crazy abilities and people, yokai still existed. That’s why you could cross over... the world you entered was weird, yet you paid it little attention, you became friends with a mortal teenage girl named Honoka, the two of you got into a lot of mischief...but one day, she began acting like a mindless puppet... and it wasn’t long before you figured out why.

That made you cross paths with Illumi Zoldyck.The two of you met after you stopped his needles easily and rescued his little brother from another yokai that had come after you, growing closer after a while and becoming friends with him and Gon. Illumi was intrigued with you and after your meeting, which resulted in a fight that ended as a draw, decided to investigate more about the nine tail fox. Seeing as having by Killua’s side was beneficial for both Killua and him.

However after three weeks, you gained the attention of another man, Chrollo Lucilfer. He watched in awe as you revealed yourself during a fight over an ancient relic that originally belonged to your kind.Chrollo studied you with fascination, obsessing over the unknown that you represented, his calm behavior never betrayed a thing about this... but he wanted to have you, keep you to himself and learn everything about you.

And he wasn’t the only one.

Illumi tried to control you but he failed again and again... and seeing as you were able to fight him without any problem, he slowly began to fancy you, even thinking of marrying you...Killua liked you and you were strong, you were mysterious yet welcoming to those you deemed worthy of your trust. Viscious to your enemies, never hesitating in battle. He... liked that.

The two didn’t meet until you revealed to Gon and Killua that you planned to leave. You had sense Light entering this realm, probably with the help of another yokai. You gave them a parting gift, the fangs of your childhood years. They carried some of your power and thus they would be protected, you also asked them to give a small hairpin to Honoka and tell her how thankfull you were to have her as a friend.

Just in time too, because Illumi, Chrollo and Light appeared and preapred to subdue you. Using your power, you once again crossed dimensions without noticing that the three males had entered the portal too, this time ending up in a dimension you had been during your childhood... you recalled that there had been one boy that had tried to mess with you... his name was.. Osamu Dazai...he was quite weird, always talking about suicide and how wonderfull it would be if you and him could die together. He... creeped you out back then and he still did, the second he saw you he wrapped his arms around you, talking about how pretty you had become, how much he missed you and how you two could die together after years of seperation....you literally pushed him aside and went to the nearest shrine dedicated to a foc spirit to settle down. Dazai didn’t leave your side, becoming a pest as he told you of his life, of his filled with bloodshed and war... being overly dramatic about it too.

“You haven’t changed a bit. I swear, if I had thought it a bit more I would have stayed back to deal with Light or Chrollo and Illumi.”

“ Light... Chrollo.... Illumi... huh?” Dazai said, his tone dropping as he looked at you seriously... you felt a chill run down your spine, yeah, that was the reason you had left from this dimension, this... tone, that gaze and that possessive aura... oh, it was making you feel sick.

“Well,well. Look at what I found.” A new voice said, turning around you saw a man looking at you two with a smirk.

“Oh great! Now who are you, exactly?” You asked and he came closer, Dazai became stiff at the sight.

“Izaya Orihara, at your service, my cute little fox girl”

You scoffed at that, another weirdo... wonderfull.

“Another mortal with a problematic attitude, at this point I might even call myself cursed.” You said, turning around and leaving the two alone. 

“Stay away from her, Izaya. I’ve long since taken my rightfull place in her life.”

“Aww, now that’s just rude. I’ve been watching you two from afar for a very long time. I wanted to get along with her too, you know. She is so cute when she’s mad, sad or excited about something.”

“So, you’re a stalker? I’m shocked...not.”

“You’re no better Dazai, my friend. I know that you’ve been after her for a very long time and that you’ve done the same things as I, if not even more.”

“What do you want, Izaya?”

“Let’s become partners in crime! See if those three males she spoke of are anything special. If they are, I am not against sharing.”

Dazai thought this over before eventually agreeing, if the men you spoke of were strong, then sharing would be the only thing left to do... and not even a day later, all five of them met, they exchanged information and formed a plan to get you. 

You never stood a chance against all of them.

They sealed the majority of your power through a contact made with blood. Thus making you something of a guardian spirit... you were tricked by them and you payed the price by becoming their precious servant.

Izaya, Dazai and Chrollo didn’t mind spoiling you and letting you go out, with the condition that you behaved and did everything they wanted. Illumi and Light weren’t really into that, prefering to isolate you and slowly break you into accepting them, Light wanted you to love him and Illumi wanted to ensure that he would always be in your heart, that his memory would live on with you even after he was long gone.

Honestly... you really did believe that you were the most unlucky creature, anyone in your place would think so... but you hoped, begged that one of them would die sooner rather than later... especially when one of them talked about a baby born from a human and a yokai, you couldn’t remember who it had been... but the idea spread like wildfire...

Once they were all dead, once they died... you would be free... you just had to hold on... you just needed to wait, even if you suffered, hope still remained in you. 

Untill then,you had no choice but to listen to what them... to become a doll meant to make them happy.

Really, you were just unlucky... because you might fall for one of them as the years pass by... and then... then you’d probably join them in death... because they clearly didn’t plan on ever letting you go.

#yandere #possessive yandere #illumi zoldyck #chrollo lucilfer #light yagami #izaya orihara #dazai osamu #fanfic #hunter x hunter #Death Note #durarara #bungo stray dogs #jealous yandere #yokai reader #female reader #david harewood #yandere harem

[caffeinatedseri]

The Strength of Selfishness

Each character in BSD has a degree of selfishness or selflessness in themselves, but the way this concept is executed opens discussion on the nuance of “selfishness,” or specifically the flaws in believing selfishness is an inherently bad trait.

Atsushi

Atsushi fits the description of selflessness, but I’d argue that he’s actually more selfish than he thinks he is (keeping in mind that being selfish isn’t necessarily a bad thing).

Akutagawa points out how Atsushi will needlessly risk his life in order to protect others, which sounds like a pretty heroic act, but it comes with a cost. Atsushi isn’t invincible, especially at this point in the story when he hasn’t fully mastered his ability, but his insistence on protecting others puts him in constant danger.

At the end of the day, Atsushi would have a greater chance of surviving many of the dangerous situations he puts himself into if he was more selfish by protecting himself before others.

However, Atsushi is also somewhat selfish in his motivations for acting so virtuously. 

Once again, Akutagawa points out how Atsushi only acts this way because of his deeply rooted belief that he has to risk his life for someone else in order to give his life value. You could argue that Atsushi only saves others as an attempt to prove to himself that he’s worthy, an inherently selfish motive. If Atsushi actually died, he would be endangering the people he could save in the future.

Selfishness also includes self-centeredness. Particularly with Akutagawa, Atsushi’s tendency to focus solely on himself becomes especially noticeable. Atsushi constantly doubts himself and his strengths; he also ignores his privileges and the struggles of others, particularly when he can’t completely understand them — hence why he views Akutagawa so harshly but sees Kyouka and Lucy as people who need to be saved. 

Despite all of this, Atsushi still creates a positive impact in other people’s lives. His innately selfish motivation is what drives him to protect others, and he ultimately succeeds in doing that (case in point Kyouka and Lucy again). 

Akutagawa

Akutagawa is pretty similar to Atsushi in how his past led to his inevitably selfish motives, but his manifests in a different way. 

Akutagawa has to be selfish to protect himself, due to a mix of his past prior to joining the mafia and Dazai’s teachings that collectively reinforced the belief that if he’s weak, he can’t survive.

This results in Akutagawa taking other people’s lives, a direct contrast to how Atsushi saves others, in order to prove his worth as a strong individual that deserves to live. However, this sentiment narrowly crosses the line of hypocrisy when Akutagawa does the very same thing that he criticized Atsushi for: looking for value in his life through other people.

Akutagawa also unnecessarily risks his life in order to prove his strength, which is arguably more dangerous and selfish than what Atsushi does. 

When Akutagawa fights Hawthorne, he practically eggs on Hawthorne to kill him, or at the very least fight with the intent to kill. Akutagawa was also injured before entering this fight, so running away would’ve been all the more reasonable than continuing to fight.

Drawing another parallel to Atsushi, Akutagawa has that very same resolve of risking his life unnecessarily to prove his worth. 

It’s undeniable that Akutagawa has killed many people — which is arguably extremely selfish — and loss of life really isn’t something that I want to push as morally correct. However, I would like to push the idea of redemption: finding a way to escape this messy lifestyle. I sincerely doubt that the incessant cycle of killing is any good for Akutagawa, or that it’s the life that he wants to have. 

With Atsushi and Akutagawa, both of their character arcs will develop accordingly to this balance of selfishness and selflessness.

Ranpo

Ranpo is characterized in a slightly selfish way, but this mindset comes with good reason (relating to Ranpo’s past). 

When Atsushi was kidnapped, Ranpo places priority on protecting the agency. If he were to meddle with Atsushi’s problem, which was technically a personal issue, then the agency as an organization would be put at risk. This isn’t necessarily a “wrong” mindset, but it is self-centered.

Of course, this is one of many examples to showcase Ranpo’s arrogance, but his arrogance is actually a form of self-protection. 

“So his father knew, after all. He understood that Ranpo possessed an extraordinary gift. He knew his son had the special ability to observe, remember, and uncover the truth in the blink of an eye. That was why he sealed it away. He didn’t want Ranpo to go astray, to ever hurt others and make the world his enemy.  His father wanted Ranpo to learn virtue and what’s right just like any ordinary person until he had grown up with good judgment and knowledge.” —  LN 3, “The Untold Origins of the Detective Agency”

Before Ranpo met Fukuzawa, he was just a young, lost boy who didn’t recognize his extraordinary talents. His parents taught him to be modest to allow him to develop as a normal person, but he never truly understood who he was in comparison to other people because he was orphaned at a young age.

Thus, Ranpo had to embrace his superiority, in an albeit dramatic way, in order to accept the world and himself. If he believed that people weren’t as intelligent as him, then he wouldn’t have to hate himself for feeling like an outsider to a world he doesn’t understand. 

Similarly to Akutagawa, Ranpo’s selfishness isn’t born out of hatred or negligence for others, it’s simply a survivalist instinct. 

Dazai

Dazai’s case is a little trickier to define, but I feel that he’s changed a decent amount throughout the series. I’ve seen some people argue that Dazai only helps others because of Oda’s dying wish, which would make his motivations for doing so inherently selfish. This rings true for Dazai before becoming a part of the agency, but I’d say he’s changed a lot just from interacting with the other agency members.

Dazai’s shown to be capable of the selflessness that involves risking your life for others, but because he’s Dazai, he’s most likely never going to actually die (he has taken necessary precautions to make sure he doesn’t die like in Dead Apple). In this case, Dazai was willing to risk his life for intel from Fyodor, similar to how he got captured by the PM intentionally for intel on Atsushi.

What he says here is especially important: “Certainly, people are sinfully stupid. But what’s so wrong about that?” The Dazai that was once isolated from others, that lacked a sense of direction and purpose in life, has grown one step closer to finding that purpose.

It’s no secret that character to character relationships have a big impact on everyone in BSD, but it’s especially relevant for Dazai who’s growth comes from learning about human nature. He and Fyodor both share a level of super intelligence that ostracizes them from the rest of society, which consequently makes them incapable of understanding other people.

Dazai’s statement here just shows how he’s willing to look past people’s mistakes — yes, they may be sinful and/or stupid, but that’s just a part of human nature.

And in this case, he acts in a stupid way by risking his life for someone else. Yes, it may be stupid, but this selflessness is also a part of being human.

I’d also like to add that Dazai was somewhat selfish in leaving the PM so suddenly after Oda’s death. As an executive, he undoubtedly had some responsibilities to handle, and not to mention Chuuya who was dragged into the mafia because of him in the first place. However, leaving the mafia was ultimately better for his development, and you could argue that the PM is doing just fine with Mori remaining as the leader. Thus, Dazai is another example of how selfishness isn’t harmful in nature.

Mori

On the topic of Mori, he’s a character who outright acknowledges his selflessness as a necessity for the mafia’s advancement.

As I mentioned before, selflessness is a stereotypically heroic trait, but it’s flipped around in BSD. You see protagonists with greater selfish convictions than the antagonists, who live their life based on this idea of selflessness. 

Of course, just because Mori is an antagonist, this doesn’t mean that selflessness is an innately “evil” trait. In fact, this selflessness is how he grows his organization and gains respect from his subordinates. Mori’s selflessness is used for the benefit of everyone else in the PM (ignoring the obvious crimes that the mafia commits of course).

Oda

Oda is often seen as the role model example for a “good man,” in the world of BSD — which is true to a certain extent. We certainly know how he was selfless in a multitude of scenarios, from saving the orphans at the Dragon’s Head Conflict, to his resolve to not kill anyone, and his push for Dazai to leave the mafia. 

However, I’d like to discuss Oda’s selfishness. Oda was well-aware of Dazai’s issues during Dark Era, and he seemed like the only person who would understand Dazai at that level. Despite this, he still chose to die. 

“(Dazai) is just a child who’s too smart. Just a crying child who’s been left alone in the darkness, a world of nothingness far emptier than the world we can see.”

— LN 2, “Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era”

Oda is an idealist first and foremost; when reality fails to match his ideals, it becomes unbearable for him to continue living on. 

Oda was selfish in his conviction to die, because he knew he could’ve done more for Dazai, but he chose to leave him with a dying wish rather than staying with him to potentially fill that void of loneliness.

(I’d like to mention that Oda wasn’t wrong for his choice, because Dazai ended up on the right path in the end. It was simply an act of selfishness that ended for the better).

Kunikida

Kunikida is an idealist, much like Oda, but he also draws close to being a realist at certain moments.

Kunikida shares the same selfless resolve as Atsushi: to save everyone. His ideals seem unbreakable to the point where he would risk his life and succeed in the end no matter what, purely because he’s just that committed towards his goals.

This treads closely to Atsushi’s selfishness. In this case, for Kunikida, it’s somewhat a part of his self-fulfilling prophecy to make his ideals come true, but he acts selflessly because of these ideals that he believes in. 

An important thing to note here is Fyodor’s grin, because Fyodor — as an idealist — is well aware of the fact that the greater the ideals, the loftier these ideals become in reality. 

“By that very logic, then Miss Sasaki was not responsible for any of these recent events! She didn’t even want a world in which all criminals are rightly judged! She only— Tell me, Dazai! Was it right for her to die? Is this the ideal world I’ve sought for…”

— LN 1, “Osamu Dazai’s Entrance Exam”

At the end of the Azure Messenger Arc, Kunikida realizes the flaws in his ideals when he fails to uphold them. By trying to save both Rokuzou and Sasaki, he ended up losing the both of them. No matter how hard he tried to save them, there was no possible way for him to achieve the level of “justice” that he desired.

This teaches an incredibly valuable lesson to Kunikida that shifts his mindset towards a more selfish direction.

Kunikida’s experience leads him to teach Atsushi, another person strongly motivated by ideals, to not follow the same path as him. You could interpret this as a sign of Kunikida’s declining resolve, but I prefer to view it as another form of self-preservation.

Kunikida very well understands the pain that comes from not meeting his ideals, which could easily affect to Atsushi considering how difficult it would be to save Kyouka.

The scene in which Kunikida goes to save Atsushi parallels what Kunikida told him previously: “Your boat can only carry one person. If you let someone beyond salvation come aboard, you will only drown together.”

Notice how Kunikida is in a boat with plenty of space, but out of fear that his ideals won’t be upheld, he’ll lower them to an lesser standard. Instead of trying to save two people, he settles for one, despite the fact that he has the capacity for two. 

This instance is a moment of selfishness from Kunikida, an act of self-preservation to prevent the inevitable pain that comes with unmet ideals. 

However, Atsushi subverts his expectations by pushing himself to save Kyouka regardless of his sinking boat, because Atsushi’s own ideals motivate him to do so. Kunikida teaches Atsushi to be careful with the balance of selfishness and selflessness; Atsushi teaches Kunikida the beauty in being selfless.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd meta #bsd atsushi #bsd akutagawa #bsd rampo #bsd dazai #bsd mori #bsd oda #bsd kunikida #idk what an idealist is tbh

[spoopy-fish-writes]

TW: ALCOHOL, DRUGS, DEATH (fire too)

Door: The door opens once a month, guided by an hourglass(monthglass?) {sand timer}

The door opens for a set amount of time depending on how many people go through the door at one time. ie: Leo and Comte went through the door at once, then the time would shorten because it was more than one soul

Pureblood vampires keep their soul because they were born in this form, but because the ‘lesser’ vampires already died, their soul didn't stay in their body.

Major changes: Jean is now Joan because of history, More in depth personalities and character interactions don't revolve around mc. They all have their past lovers. Nobody was killed by a rival for sake of plot, the deaths are all appropriate according to history Blanc is coconut water

Arthur Conan Doyle +ptsd, not as flirty, takes care of the children in the local hospital.

Comte de saint germain +pretty much the same, doesn't eat though, only drinks rouge

Dazai Osamu +sucidal, but panicked when he did die because of the burning feeling. Doesn't have an interest in women anymore because of guilt, still has a morphine and alcohol addiction.

Isaac Newton +invents with leonardo, when he gets upset it's silent treatment, long wavy hair, forgets to shower for about seven days at a time so he always smells like copper and grease

Joan d' Arc +woman, burn scars on legs, mostly healed but always wears pants and high socks because of it. No skirts, unless they have pockets that can conceal a sword. Still works at the weapon shop, doesn’t work in any of the furnace areas bc/fire.

Leonardo Da Vinci + genius creator, still has a relationship with comte, learned Japanese after having Sebastian work for the mansion for a bit.

Napoleon Bonaparte +misogynistic, grows in character through the story (he only recently arrived at the mansion- personality hasn't changed much from life)

Sebastian + no change

Theodorus Van Gogh + no scar on back because he died naturally. Same personality, but helps with kids in town.

Vincent Van Gogh + loss of an ear, depressed, blocked out his entire human life. Cannot fight.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart +alcohol problem, hates performing for commission (when he does it over works him), gambing issue

copied and pasted from my Google doc so far :) I’m open to all criticisms

-fruitbat anon

Holy fuck, dude, I love this :0

This actually works really well with their characters in history and still tones it down enough that it's somewhat appropriate by not so much that it completely tears away their actual history. It actually also clears up a bunch about the door too which is great because it makes no sense in the actual game

I'd say the addictions are a slight bit up to debate just considering that I don't think vampire brains work the same as human ones in regards to chemicals (idk, depends) unless you intend them too but honestly, I am so excited to see how this goes

#spoops asks #fruitbat anon #anon dearest #tw death #tw fire #tw drugs #tw alcohol

[soukokuwu]

i live for aku angst. could you please write a scenario where he develops feelings for a fem reader during the dark era, but watches as her & dazai fall in love together? he wouldn’t be able to do anything since he’s dazai’s subordinate. but imagine them having a significant friend (ish) relationship, so when she disappears along with dazai he gets left utterly heartbroken and alone, wishing he would have said something to her when she was still with him. thank you! i love your writing

➥ genre: angst

➥ pairing: akutagawa x crush!reader, dazai x reader

➥ synopsis: akutagawa watches as you fall in love... but not with him.

➥ word count: 2k

➥ a/n: and i live for angst 😼 i really really loved this idea & i really hope you’re still here — tried a certain theme for this, hopefully you like it!! and tysm kind anony ^.^

Black and blue

You came out of the blue.

In the form of medicine for his wounds, and a cure for his aches. You were his superior, but you were unlike a certain other superior he knew. You radiated warmth and comfort — something Akutagawa didn’t know he craved. And yet you managed to instil that feeling in him within a matter of seconds.

“Dazai did this to you again?”

What was that he heard in your voice? Was it pain? Disapproval? Sadness, maybe? He was too detached from any emotion to be able to tell. Everything he knew, he learned from Dazai himself. All he wanted was the man’s approval. That was all he worked for. But you ignited a conflict in Akutagawa that he didn’t bargain for. One that he didn’t know would lead to fireworks instead of just a single spark.

“Yes,” was all he said. Was there any other way to respond? This was the first time you spoke to him, was he supposed to continue the conversation? A part of him wanted to. This was the only time a superior has shown any sort of care to him after all. So why couldn’t he get anything out?

You pressed your lips into a firm line, and he couldn’t help but notice how soft and pink they looked. You didn’t wear a lot of makeup, and his opinion was that you didn’t need it anyway. You already looked... pleasing enough to the eyes. Was that how people described someone they found... good-looking?

Endless questions darted across Akutagawa’s mind that day. But none were answered. Because how could they be, when the one questioning didn’t have the guts to say a thing in the first place?

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Akutagawa knew.

He knew you didn’t mean to. But you did it anyway. He knew why, too. Because he let you. And just like that, his walls came down. No, they didn’t crumble — he wouldn’t let them fall that easily, but still you were the only one who could take the bricks out piece by piece until the barrier was almost nonexistent.

It was like demolishing a house and rebuilding it again — just better, stronger. You painted over his grey with your red. It was your favourite color, and fitting enough; it was the color of his feelings for you.

Since that day you were always there for him. You had your own tasks, sure, but you always looked out for him when you could. And he found that days when you were especially busy were the days he felt most blue. Akutagawa found it strange though — why did you care? What did you have to gain?

And he found the answer one night, a conversation with you by the bay. You had invited him to take a walk with you, to get some proper fresh air and let off steam. But Akutagawa had read way too much into it, that he knew. Why else would he feel disappointed that there wasn’t so much as any physical contact with you? He merely stayed at a distance as he always did, and you never tried.

One fruit bore out of that night though. He learned more about you than he thought he would. You were much like him; joining the mafia because you had nowhere else, you accepted an invitation from a senior in the mafia, wanting to prove that you weren’t worthless, that you could produce something of value to someone. No wonder you looked out for him. You saw a part of yourself in him, didn’t you? You knew how lonely it felt. That night, Akutagawa felt something he never thought he would — a sense of belonging.

The longer you spoke to him that night, the larger that feeling grew. And somehow he looked at you in a way he didn’t before. It confused him, disgusted him. No, correction — he disgusted himself. Not his affection for you. Why did he feel like pursuing this; you? That night, he denied himself the chance to let you in on his feelings.

A useless kid like him doesn’t deserve you.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke was a black sheep. But you were the golden girl.

Should he be surprised then? As he watched the way his mentor interacted with you, should he be worried? No, did he even have the right to be? But then he saw him smile at you, a smile he’d only seen formed when he was around that other guy — Oda Sakunosuke. You were... another exception? Yet again, many questions raced through his head. But one thing he knew for sure — he was turning into the green-eyed monster.

He started to notice how you reacted to Dazai. He hated how you always seemed so mesmerised whenever he walked by. He hated how your eyes twinkled whenever you talked to him — where’s that sparkle in your eye when you talked to Akutagawa? He hated how one day you just showed up with Dazai’s coat wrapped around your shoulders. He hated how much he was affected by it. It really wasn’t unexpected — next to Dazai, who would take a second look at him anyway? He wished he could be him. Then maybe you’d... He shook his head. No, maybe not even then.

What he hated the most? He couldn’t even hate the guy. He yearned for Dazai’s respect; approval, and that never changed. But then the upset dissolved into an understanding. Something in his head clicked. You belonged with Dazai. He knew next to nothing about your relationship and how it worked. But what Akutagawa did know? Dazai was a revered member of the Port Mafia, one likely to take Mori’s place as the big boss in the future. He couldn’t even lay a hit on him with Rashomon. Dazai wasn’t a formidable fighter like Chuuya either, and still he managed to beat Akutagawa into the ground. That man... was exceptional. You deserved that. You deserved the best.

That’s what Dazai was. He was the black that would take no other hue, and fittingly so he was the Port Mafia’s great white hope.

“Devour space? That sounds cool,” you had commented one day while bandaging up the cut on his wrist, one inflicted on by Dazai himself. He noticed how you didn’t comment on his barbarism as you usually would, and the usual concern in your tone never appeared. As it never did ever since the first day he saw you talk to Dazai.

“I still can’t do it.”

“If you try to imagine you’re protecting me, could you?”

You see, Akutagawa knew it was just a joke to you. And yet? His heart started pounding so fast, so loud in his chest the moment he heard it. It was a tiring dance — feeling so happy about a tiny comment and then feeling a heartache after realising your smiles, even then, were never as sweet as the ones you flashed at Dazai.

Did Dazai even love you? Or was he playing some sort of game as he usually does with women? He hated how he was praying for the latter. Hated how he wished that things would crumble for the two of you so that he could be the one to help you pick up the pieces — to be the one. Akutagawa sighed, knowing he could never get inside his head. Anyone who tried would fall into a cognitive prison. But even these selfish thoughts couldn’t last long, because Akutagawa got his answer later that day when he overheard his mentor talking to his friend.

“Odasaku, how vulnerable can humans get?”

Akutagawa is shocked at the depth of the conversation. He didn’t know Dazai was capable of talking about... emotions. He didn’t think he had any. The other man mentioned something about it being to a big extent, Akutagawa let it slip past his ears. He was more interested in what Dazai had to say.

“It’s weird. It’s like finally being seen after having lived in perpetual darkness. The light she holds, it’s small... but is it wrong of me to hope that it will grow with time?”

Was that... hope he heard in his mentor’s voice? ‘With time’? That meant the future... for all his suicidal thoughts, because of you, was Dazai really considering living? Akutagawa sighed in exasperation as he quietly walked away from the spot he eavesdropped from. He would never understand Dazai.

He never did. Especially not when the same Dazai who spoke so fondly of you was the same Dazai who shot three bullets at Akutagawa for killing the enemy. You were a saviour in more than one way. Your words echoed in his mind, and his shield came out of his will to protect you, an imaginary you. That’s why Dazai didn’t manage to shoot him dead this time. Because of you.

“Oh? See? You can do it. How many times have I told you? Cutting open unfortunate hostages isn’t the only thing you’re good for. You should be able to use your powers for defense too.”

“I’ve never been able to successfully do that before this.”

“But you just did. Isn’t that great?”

Akutagawa wanted so badly to argue back in an act of rebellion, to yell out that it was only because of you that he was able to do it. But the words got stuck in his throat. And Dazai’s threat embedded themselves in his brain. He always wondered if Dazai knew his subordinate harboured feelings for his partner. But Akutagawa already knew the answer. Nothing escapes that man. But he’s sure that he doesn’t view him as a threat, not even as competition, no.

To Dazai, it was probably just another reason to hate him; another reason to justify why he was in Dazai’s black books.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It was a complete bolt from the blue.

Akutagawa remembered the day he realised he had lost two important people in his life. He thought that watching as you fell in love with Dazai was the most horrible emotion he could feel. He was wrong. Losing the two of you, not even being able to see either of you, not knowing where either of you vanished to — nothing could top that agony.

The day Oda died, the two of you disappeared along with him.

You took down his walls, painted the insides red, furnished it and made it vibrant again and then suddenly you were gone. You left him in the dark. You invaded his solitary space — slowly, ironically without any violence, and yet the moment you left, it was anything but peaceful for Akutagawa. No, you and Dazai left him even lonelier than before. You graced him with your presence and healed him, only to break him down even more than he already was before he met you.

Everything he heard about love after you left just seemed like everyone viewed the world through rose-coloured glasses. Nothing he found could describe the anguish he felt over losing you; or the regret he held for not telling you how he felt — the remorse that he knew wouldn’t change a thing, and yet wished he did anyway.

Because who knew when he would ever see you again, if he would? What if he never did? Yet ironically, your memory is always there — you’re sitting at the edge of his periphery, taunting him with your smile, tempting him to go and find you. And Akutagawa thinks of it everyday; what it would be like to find you, to hold you, to tell you everything he should have when you were still there.

However, a part of him nags at him not to. After all, the grass is always greener on the other side — maybe because Akutagawa isn’t there. And as an image of you flashed in his mind yet again, he scoffed at himself.

Beautiful. That’s the word he was looking for that first day you touched his soul.

You’re beautiful.

tags: @yokelish @gogolparadise @fyowyn-writes

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd oneshot #bsd scenarios #bsd x reader #bsd akutagawa #bsd akutagawa ryunosuke #bsd akutagawa x reader #bsd imagines #bsd akutagawa oneshot #bsd akutagawa scenario #bsd akutagawa ryuunosuke #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa ryunosuke x reader #akutagawa ryuunosuke x reader #bsd akutagawa ryuunosuke x reader #bsd akutagawa ryunosuke x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs akutagawa #bungou stray dogs akutagawa #bsd angst #bungo stray dogs akutagawa ryunosuke #rachwrote

[discotenny]

!Bungo Stray Brothers!

Ranpo and Poe with a little sister

!requested by @maibeff!

This is long overdue sorry djfjdk. I accidentally posted this last night oopsie >.> trying something new w the banners

Okay so I know that everyone says Ranpo would be a really lazy brother, and he still is don’t get me wrong, butttt Ranpo would be a top-notch sibling

During the time of your parents’ deaths, you were barely a teenager. At the prior advice of your late parents, he dragged you to Yokohama, where the two of you now reside. Through the years, Ranpo filled the void left by your parents, guiding and teaching you as they once did. Well, trying his best to do so anyways

Despite his attitude aimed at many, Ranpo is quite caring towards you. He’s constantly checking up on your wellbeing, whether through texts or casual conversation. Sometimes, he’ll even do that thing where a person messes up someone's hair with their hand in passing

While not as athletic as his coworkers, Ranpo can still put up some of a fight. Thus, he will absolutely try to fight anyone that attempts to mess with his dear sister

He thinks the world of you, and you’re one of the few people he’ll give some of his oh so coveted praise to

Your relationship with Fukuzawa is very friendly. While he’s a father figure to Ranpo, he’s more of a grandfather character to you since you don’t see him as much

Ranpo insists you visit the ADA offices often, and so you also have friendly relations with the rest of the members. Though Ranpo warns you not to get deeply involved with Dazai for some reason 🤔

With any romantic partner you have, he wants to have a one on one talk with them to discern if they’re a good enough person for you. Though an issue he has is that he judges everyone to his standards, and his standards are high

Household chores are a big no-no when it comes to Ranpo, and often you’ll be forced to literally lay the vacuum on him if you want him to do shit

Your fridge is always empty due to both you and Ranpo’s negligence when it comes to grocery shopping. It becomes a daily occurrence for you two to text each other back and forth begging for the other to purchase some groceries on their way home

Y/n: Ranpoooo can you pls pick up some eggs after work? We also need [insert shopping list of items]

Five minutes later...

Ranpo: Hey y/n can you pick up [insert a screenshot of the shopping list from your message] on your way home

When the time comes for you to move out, Ranpo tries his best not to cry as he hugs you before you go. Being the only family he has left in the world, your departure affects him a lot. Afterward, Ranpo ends up learning how to manage the trains by himself just so he can visit you all by himself ~

A sibling who’s a student [around a high schooler, so let’s say 18]

He’s always making comments on your homework being ‘too easy,’ and will sometimes do some problems on your worksheets out of pure boredom

Ranpo would absolutely help you cheat with assignments

For a small fee of course... that fee coming in the form of snacks

As Ranpo serves as your legal guardian, he’s the one that has to sign all your school papers. Most of the time he leaves you stressed, messed, and upset as he always lets forms go unsigned until the very last minute

Despite being a student, you still end up cooking for the two of you most of the time

If you go to the convenience store after your school day, Ranpo always texts you. One, to check up on you. And two, to make sure you buy him a bag candy

When you don’t walk straight home from school, chances are you head your way towards the detective agency. When you do so, Ranpo is calling you over to his desk and tells you do work on your homework beside him. Even if you don’t have homework Ranpo will still tell you to sit at his desk just so he can keep some eye on you

When the ADA closes up for the day, you two end up eating out at a cafe somewhere. No exceptions, this happens every time

If it weren’t for his height, most would assume that Poe was the younger of you two

If anyone were to attempt to hurt this babby, you’d likely be the one sticking up for him. He felt awful and weak during any kind of occurrence like this, and often would hideaway for a bit after

While he’s not particularly strong, Poe is an amazing listener and will hear you out with any struggles you have at the moment. He would even tell Karl to curl up in your lap, a small sign of his trust towards you

In turn, when he becomes upset over his loss to Ranpo, you’re there right by his side after to cheer him up. Even when he shuts off all personal connections after his crushing defeat, you still check up on him to make sure he hasn’t withered away  

You’re his biggest supporter and vise versa

Poe is r i c h. If your family didn’t come from wealth before, you bet your ass that he shares his coin with you. Though, you feel a bit bad for accepting the large amounts of money he sends you. But, your brother persists that its just pay back for all of your support

When Poe got Karl at the age of 10 [let’s just say he got him at 10 because raccoons live up to an average of 20 years domesticated], he would do everything in his power to make sure the two of you got along. Eventually, you warmed up to his new pet and Poe couldn’t be happier

Growing up, you were always by his side. Seeing as he’s quite sensitive and timid, you would cling to him in order to watch out for any possible detriments to your brother’s happiness. Sticking to his side most of your childhood, you grew a fondness for all the stories he would write

When he first discovered his ability, you and Poe would spend hours exploring the world of different books. While he may have not been into the kind of books you would read as a youngling, everything was worth it if he got to see you smile

You two would also have sleepovers in his room. Dragging a blanket and pillow to his door, you’d ask if you would be allowed to sleep in his bedroom for the night. Despite it surprising him each time, Poe would never deny your request 

With blankets, Karl, and pillows strewn around the room, Poe would excuse himself to the kitchen to make the two of your some tea. You’d almost always fall asleep next to your brother as he drafted new stories

When Poe gets involved with The Guild, the first thing you worry about his his safety. Then he gets upset at the fact that he’s worried you and ends up calling you, frantically apologizing and hoping you won’t dislike him. The last thing he wants in life is your disapproval ;-;

While you hold no issue with The Guild’s ‘activities’ [more so you don’t know about their crimes], you make your brother promise you that he’d be careful

On his leave to Japan and subsequent announcement that he’d stay there indefinitely, you’re already making plans to visit him one day

His sister comes to Japan

Your visit is a surprise, even if you have been messaging him about it for weeks

Y/n: Edgar! I’m leaving for Japan tomorrow morning so I’m going to have to sleep early tonight. 

Poe spits out his tea

Edgar: Yourecomingtojapanwhat? 

Of course, he picks you up, what kind of brother would he be if he didn’t?

Seeing you at the airport, Poe can’t contain his smile. While you two don’t hug, Poe is ecstatic to see you and can’t wait to show you around. Karl is in the car and he immediately jumps onto you when you come in

When he introduces you to Ranpo, you can’t help but hold a little grudge. Cmon, this was the man that caused your dear brother to become a recluse for years! Though Poe sees your hesitation and encourages you that all blood is fine between the two. After seeing how happy your brother becomes at Ranpo’s company, you admit that he isn’t awful

Your time in Japan is spent talking with Poe and Ranpo most of the time. While it’s mostly chilling in the detective agency, your brother’s friend ends up dragging the two of you around to different cafe’s 

Once, Ranpo asked if you knew of the chaos that The Guild caused in Japan. It’s the one time he’s ever seen and heard Poe so panicked as he screamed ‘I wasn’t involved’

Wouldn’t it be funny if you and Ranpo fell into a relationship

Hrjdksks apologies these are too long ;-; I liked writing these so there may be a bit of incoherence throughout... Also I haven’t posted in a week oops. Thank you for your kind words Mai ! All the love in the world for you 💕

I hope you enjoyed anyways, and apologies for any future disappointment

#bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd x reader #bsd headcanons #bsd imagines #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs headcanons #bungou stray dogs imagines #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs headcanons #bungo stray dogs imagines #bsd poe x reader #bsd ranpo x reader #bsd ranpo #bsd poe #poe x reader #ranpo x reader

[lesberrian]

My new bsd OC with a story coming soon

so i used picrew for the reference bc im too lazy to draw rn so the link is https://picrew.me/image_maker/43383

Anyways here she is

more info below cut

Name: Mary Ann Evens

Undercover name: George Evens

Hair: Black boy cut with bangs pulled back and several decorations

Eyes: pink

Height: 5’5

Age: 15

DOB: November 22

Likes: Cute soft things, pulling pranks, sweets, fashion, and being free to do as she pleases

Dislikes: being compared to her younger self, sour and bitter things, kunikida keeping her on time, old guys

Ability: Silas Marner

Reference: “Silas Marner” by George Evens

Occupation: undercover agent, detective, agency negotiator

Affiliation: Armed Detective Agency

Personality

Mary tends to be very childish most of the time due to her lack of childhood. She is often seen with candy or a stuffed animal in her backpack on many occasions. With being an undercover agent, Mary has learned how to move quickly and lie out of any situation. She uses her speed to leave things for the members of the ADA, who she considers her family.

Her lying skills have made her very fond of pranks as well. They’re never big or over the top but more of small inconveniences. Even if they know it was her they will sometimes doubt it after listening to her lies. Mary’s lies and manipulation also got her the spot as the agency negotiator who deals with the aftermath of anything gone wrong.

Growing up alone left her desperate for attention so there is never a moment where she is alone and not with someone. After her sickness as a child, she’s not as confident in her ability as she used to be since it’s not the same anymore. She is often with Kenji or talking to Naomi and her brother since she’s closest in age to them but also likes going on cases with Ranpo and getting to ride the trains.

When Mary first joined, she stayed near Yosano the most and followed her everywhere she went. They formed a sister-like relationship and often go on shopping trips together making someone else from the agency carry their bags.

Ability

Silas Marner lets her copy anything about a person except for physical appearance by touching them. Her ability got weaker after her illness at 12 which almost killed her. Her ability was close to her current one but stronger. As a child, she could completely transform into someone and choose what traits to keep. Now, when she touches someone and uses her ability, a golden glow will appear on her hands. To use her ability she needs to know what she wants to copy first. Mary is also able to copy abilities. Dazai’s is the only one so far she can not copy because of how his ability works

Skills

Mary is very quick on her feet and uses her agility to fight most of the time. She has a decent amount of strength she avoids showing to use as George Elliot. When fighting she grabs whatever near her whether it’s a plank of wood or a metal pole to fight. She goes for quick attacks that the enemy can’t keep up with.

Background

As a child, her parents knew of her ability after playing with a neighborhood kid and transformed into him. After convincing the boy and his parents that was fake they move far away to Japan. Her mother had family and knew there was a place for people with abilities. At age 10, Mary Ann Evens was left alone in front of the Armed detective agency. When she wandered in she first met Ranpo who was playing with a marble.

After being brought into the agency she quickly became close to Yosano first. She spent every minute she could following her around and trying to talk to her. Yosano let her as long as she helped carry her bags as well as the other poor soul who got dragged with them.

The first two years working at the ADA were fun for Mary. She got to go undercover as an adult because she could transform into them. When not working she got to wander around the city with a small amount of money as a “paycheck” and spend it.

While on a mission not long after turning 12, she was directly hit with a poisonous bomb that got into her blood and her lungs. She spent every day in the hospital and was in a coma for the first two months while she healed. After waking up she had to stay for another two months before being realized. She was so weak for the first part of healing that most thought she lost her ability. When Mary could finally get around on her own she started working on her ability.

When she realized the difference she cried. She couldn’t eat for a week and stayed in her room. It took Yosano counseling her to even get Mary to accept it. First, Yosano had her create a character to play when undercover so she won’t feel like her old ability is completely gone. By the end of the year, Mary had finally come to terms with her new ability and now was also “George Elliot” a young teen boy who takes business from everyone and works whatever position they need him to.

As Mary grew up, so did George. She made sure there were almost no similarities between them and developed his character and the way he acted. She even managed to get down the masculine voice she wanted. Currently, she and George are so different with the exception of height and hair she would be surprised if someone made the connection

Cool right? Now you get to read ab what George Eliot is like

Name: George Elliot

height: 5’5

Hair: messy black hair with eyes covering his eyes

Eyes: dark blue (contacts)

Age: 16

DOB: October 23

Likes: shiny things, well-timed humor, animals,

Dislikes: sudden loud sounds, uptight people

Ability: none

Occupation: agent

Affiliation: none

Personality

Doesn’t talk much but when he does it’s almost always a joke or sarcastic remark. George hates serious topics where the mood is down and will grow bored and stop paying attention. Not much is known about his personality but many describe him as odd since he’s always messing around with shiny things, like a crow. People also say he has a soft spot for animals and they also like him.

At some points, George has even had birds hang out on his shoulder or stray animals follow him around. On one occasion, the stray dog he fed helped him when he was in a fight.

Skills

In the few instances he has to fight, George is shown to be very well trained in hand to hand combat and with a knife

Background

George Elliot was abandoned by his parents at a young age and works as an agent doing almost anything for money or a place to stay and eat for a bit. He never talks about his past and claims most of it has been blocked out.

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd oc #bungo stray dogs oc #oc #ahhh ivve had bsd and snow white with the red hair brainrot those are the things I rlly wanna write for #pls request from those 2 #anyways uh #george and mary are the same person so no weird stuff #plus shes 15

[writing-radionoises]

everything will be alright

ship: mostly none, a side of odazai and fyodazai if you squint

genre: character study, hurt/comfort

prompt: osamu dazai was born without a will to live.

notes: tw for self harm, suicide, and mori bullshit

Dazai never really knew his parents.

He’s been passed around from person to person like a charity case for as long as he can remember, most of these people end up being a part of the Port Mafia.

Most of his early childhood is a blur, a lot of it was full of indifference, and ruthless training.

Between each and every Port Mafia member he was passed onto, he still had to go through the normal training of every Port Mafia member, despite being somewhere between four to thirteen years old and having no real desire to join the mafia.

He was truly set up for a life in the mafia from the moment he was born.

But regardless, training is difficult and painful. The training was meant for at least a sixteen year old, children in the mafia back then weren’t a popular thing.

Truthfully, Dazai might’ve been one of the youngest children to ever go through the Port Mafia training.

He can recall practice fights with faceless parental guardians, names and faces of adults he’d forget within a week, or something he’d see their face on the news two weeks later to find out they died.

He remembers learning to fire a basic handgun at the age of seven.

It hurt his hands a lot, he nearly fell over just from the sound of the handgun.

Dazai can recall a specific guardian who would choose not to feed him if he didn’t do well enough in his training. He was maybe nine years old at the time.

Regardless, the years of training and being surrounded by death cemented itself into Dazai’s brain, and he found himself losing any desire completely.

It started by losing his want for a brand new toys, things he would see on TV. Instead of being excited at the sight of the ads of those toys, he’d just switch the channel. At the time, Dazai just thought it was part of growing up, though it escalated from there.

He lost the desire to be an adult.

And eventually, he lost his desire to live.

It was at the age of ten that Dazai decided he would not live past the age of sixteen.

He’d kill himself before he reached his sixteenth birthday.

His first suicide attempt was in the bathroom at around noon, a mistake on his part. He took out a random pill bottle and downed the entire thing, and laid on the bathroom floor. Another mistake, the pills didn’t actually end up killing him. At worst, he just went to a doctor within the mafia, and was told not to do it again.

Though, his suicide attempts improved over time. He learned more and more how to successfully kill himself, each failure was a new thing learned.

Between the ages of ten to fourteen, Dazai lost track of the amount of suicide attempts he made. From overdosage to self harm, he tried it all.

The one that was the closest to being successful for him was when he tried to hang himself.

Dazai remembers, he had just been moved into a new guardian’s home, and had already had a plan.

The room he was moved in had the perfect place to hang a noose on. The thought of it had filled Dazai with some empty-like version of joy, the thought to finally be able to leave this world…

Little did he know it would be the worst mistake of his life, trying to hang himself that night.

He had just barely been saved, and taken to meet Dr. Mori Ogai.

And there would begin the worst years of Dazai’s life.

Dazai’s eyes opened slowly underneath the bright lights of the office, his wrists were restrained against the cold metal of the hospital bed he was laying in.

He was very cold. The restraints were tight against his wrists…

“Ah, you’re awake?” Said a voice, to which Dazai turned his head to see an older man walking towards the bed.

He had medium length hair, slicked back with a few loose pieces. He looked like just about every other doctor Dazai had met, but his voice sent shivers down Dazai’s spine.

“Good morning, sleepyhead!” Greeted another voice, a younger girl who was now stood on the other side of Dazai’s bed, undoing the restraints on his wrists with a smile. She appeared to be a nurse.

“Can you tell me your name?” The doctor asked, his hands now placed on the metal railing of the bed.

“Osamu… Dazai?” Replied the brunette, his brows furrowing together.

“Good, it seems you’re sane,” said the doctor with a smile, “Dr. Mori Ogai, you may call me Mori.”

“Ogai-san…” Dazai started as the nurse undid his other restraint, he pulled his now loose wrist to his chest and rubbed at the sore forming, “Why did you let me live?” He finished, a defensive tone to his voice.

Mori only smiled, “I need you for something. Elise, help the boy up.”

The nurse did as she was told, grabbing Dazai bridal style and helping him stand. Dazai only got more and more confused as Mori handed him a black trenchcoat and a pair of shoes.

“We don’t have all that much time, now!”

Dazai remembers stumbling behind Mori, an arm around Elise’s shoulder as she helped him along the way into a grand room. Dazai is met with the sight of the Port Mafia boss laying in a large bed, coughing and wheezing as Mori stands above him with a smile.

Dazai holds his breath, looking between the boss and Mori as Elise begins to fade out away, leaving Dazai without support as he falls back and catches himself against the wall of the bedroom.

Dazai’s memory of the moment escapes him, hearing some sort of rant from the Port Mafia boss before Mori retrieves a scalpe from his pocket, cleaning it off with his coat and slashing the boss’s neck.

Blood splattered against the wall, and Dazai felt his eyes wide as Mori turned back to Dazai with a smile.

“If anyone asked, he left the Port Mafia to me. You won’t say otherwise,” he says, and Dazai feels a chill run down his spine.

He was fourteen years old, and his fear in the man named Mori Ogai had become the first emotion he felt in years.

Time went on, Dazai met more and more people.

He felt more and more pain.

The amount of times Mori had thrown him against walls, pinned him against counters, stepped on his chest, slashed at his arms with a scalpel, and so much more…

It took a toll against Dazai’s health, mental and physical.

The amount of scars only seemed to grow, and his urge to just die grew stronger and stronger.

He was a failure, he couldn’t seem to do anything right. He couldn’t even kill himself right.

He had lived past his life expectancy at the age of seventeen, and grew to avoid going home.

Where Mori was.

Instead, Dazai went to the bar. He drank until he could barely form a coherent thought.

It was then when he met a man named Oda Sakunosuke.

He had cut Dazai off from drinks at the bar, telling the bartender that he’d take care of Dazai and to instead give him water.

Dazai smiled as the bartender passed him a glass of water, lifting his head up.

“You’re here everyday, I watch you get shitfaced literally everyday,” said the ginger man, sitting a few seats away from Dazai, “Are you alright?”

Dazai smiled and shrugged, “I have no idea anymore.”

Oda gave a laugh, “Been there. Name’s Oda Sakunosuke. Sakunosuke is a mouthful, so most people call me Odasaku.”

“Osamu Dazai,” Dazai responded, “Nice to meet you, Odasaku.”

To say Odasaku and Dazai were friends would be an understatement. They became practically attached at the hip, always with each other when work wasn’t in the way.

Instead of going home to Mori, usually Dazai ended up at Odasaku’s apartment, one way or another.

And eventually, Ango Sakaguchi joined their little friend group. Ango was a stern young man, someone who had to be physically dragged away from work, and had little to no self regard for himself.

The three of them were great friends. Dazai can recall dancing in the kitchen with Odasaku, Ango falling asleep on his shoulder on the car ride back to Dazai’s place, making friendship bracelets with the both of them.

It was the happiest two years of Dazai’s life.

It reminded Dazai that his life was not Mori’s to own and control.

It was all fun and games until Mimic appeared, Ango’s triple life came to light, and eventually, led to Odasaku’s death.

Dazai became a shell of a human being, depressed and lonely.

His life went from a hundred to zero within an instant.

Dazai left the mafia.

In the years between joining the agency and leaving the Port Mafia, Dazai met a young man at a cafe.

He was a pretty thing, with an amazing understanding of English despite his Russian mother tongue.

His name was Fyodor Dostovesky. He was about the same age as Dazai, and had sat next to Dazai out of curiosity after Dazai ordered a coffee with eight shots of espresso.

“Eight shots? Why don’t you just do cocaine at that point?” Fyodor had said, sat across from Dazai with a smile, “... It is a joke. I doubt the staff here would appreciate you doing cocaine here.”

Dazai laughed, “Believe me, I’ve thought about it. I haven’t seen you before, are you from around here?”

Fyodor nodded a no, his hair moved along with his head, “What gave it away? The accent, or the clothes?” He joked once again.

Dazai only smiled in return. Perhaps it was a silly question, the other seemed to be wearing very clothes that are obviously not from Japan, they were made for cold winters.

“I am from St. Petersburg, Russia,” Fyodor explained, “I’m visiting.”

“Ah, what brings you to Yokohama?” Dazai questioned.

Fyodor glanced up, thinking before shrugging.

“I supposed I wanted a reason to use my fluency in Japanese,” he replied, “I learned out of impulse, very few people in Russia know Japanese, so I have no true reason to learn unless I’m going to Japan.”

“Ah, do you only know Russia and Japanese?”

Fyodor nodded a no, “I know a myriad of languages. Russian, Japanese, English, and French. Working on German.”

“You’re an interesting person,” Dazai mused, “Your name?”

Fyodor smiled in response, “Fyodor Dostovesky. I realize that in Japan it is last name, then first, though Dostovesky is a mouthful for foreigners. You may call me Fyodor.”

“Osamu Dazai,” Dazai replied, “Osamu works fine. Have a phone, by chance?”

Dazai can’t be mad. He knows he can’t, but instead, he pouts as he leans his head against the door of his apartment. He bits down on his lip and tries not to cry.

He shouldn’t be mad, Fyodor just said the truth.

They were just using each other to fill some void within themselves.

Dazai was just using Fyodor to try and forget about Odasaku, taking his kindness for granted and trying to fill his void of emotion.

He just misses Odasaku so much.

Fyodor was there at the right moment, he was pretty, he was kind of funny, and interesting.

What else was Dazai supposed to do? Odasaku would be so disappointed in him, he never wanted to use another person like that after leaving the mafia.

Not after seeing what the fuck he did to Akutagawa.

His head ends up on top of his knees, shaking and shivering from the force of his own emotions.

Why can’t he do anything right?

Fyodor lost against the agency. Dazai knew this would happen one way or another, the agency could not be destroyed as easily as he thought, and ultimately would lead to Fyodor’s downfall.

But still, Dazai feels some sort of hurt from the other as he approaches Fyodor, who is sitting on top on the rooftop and watching the sun go down.

He sits down beside Fyodor, who doesn’t pay him much mind.

His expression is blank, the sunset brings out the purple hues in his hair as Dazai gives a weak smile.

“It’s been awhile since we’ve talked as friends, hm?”

Fyodor nods in return, “It has, hasn’t it, Osamu?”

“Osamu?”

“What else should I call you?” Fyodor questioned, turning back to Dazai.

“Oh, Osamu’s fine,” he reassures, “You just called me Dazai on the battlefield.”

“I figured you did not want the whole agency knowing of our past relationship.”

“Ah, I don’t care anymore,” Dazai admits, “It was so long ago, it would just be another shitty thing they knew about me.”

“... What part of it is shitty?” Questioned the dark haired male once more, “That I was involved?”

Dazai nods a no, “No, truthfully. I think I was shitty to you as you were shitty to me, it was a two way street that I treated as a one way. You only spoke the truth back then, the truth I did not want to admit. I was using you. Had you known the whole time?”

Fyodor nods, “You aren’t as sneaky as you think.”

Dazai laughs a little bit, “Yeah, I’ve been told.”

There’s silence between the, watching the sunset on Yokohama as Fyodor bites down on his thumb.

“Are you happy now?” He asked, not turning to look at Dazai this time.

“I think so,” Dazai responds, “I don’t know. Happiness is such a strange concept these days.”

Fyodor swings his legs against the building, moving his gaze from the sun to his knees.

“I live with few regrets, Osamu,” he admits, “Though, I regret one thing. I regret watching you suffer like that, back in the day. I lack empathy, though compassion is not a foreign concept to me. I wish I had not pursued you like that, perhaps it would’ve saved you some suffering.” Dazai smiles, “I think you’re much kinder than you say, Fyodor.”

The other cracks a smile, “Perhaps. I wish you the best, though.”

Dazai hums a thank you, leaning his head on Fyodor’s shoulder.

He let out a breath of anxiety.

“I’ve been meaning to say this for years, though I’m not very good at apologizing. I’m sorry for using you like that, I’m sure that you didn’t have ill intentions at first, and were really just trying to figure out how emotions work. I took your kindness for granted, and that was shitty of me. I’m sorry.”

“You’re forgiven.”

Dazai pauses, looking back up at Fyodor curiously.

“That easily?”

“I have nothing to hold against you, Osamu,” he explains, “It is better to forgive than hold a grudge, anyway. As they say in Russia, До свадьбы заживет.”

Dazai quirked a brow “До свадьбы заживет?”

“It will heal before your wedding,” Fyodor translated, “Or rather, everything will be okay.”

Dazai smiled.

“До свадьбы заживет. Cute.”

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd odasaku #bsd osamu #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #odasaku sakunosuke #Oda Sakunosuke #odazai #oda x dazai #odasaku x dazai #fyodor x dazai #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #fyodor dostoevsky #bsd fyodor #mori ogai #mori ougai #bsd mori #bsd elise

[hnnnfdfds]

Prompt: 63 Indigo skies just before dawn with Mafia Dazai x Atsushi. :)

Here, Anon... I’m sorry for the ending of this. But thank you for the prompt! I loved to try my hand at Mafia!Dazai... somewhat. Anyway, a quick warning due to Dazai being a mafia member, I had to tweak Atsushi’s character a bit... I hope you all are ok this Atsu.

Here are the prompts!

—

63. Indigo skies just before dawn

—

Atsushi knows fear.

He has learned from a young age how to taste, feel and see it. How to sense and polish it until it can be either used as a shield to protect himself or as a weapon to fight. He isn’t natural or comfortable hurting other people but growing up in an orphanage full of people who hate you, teaches two or three things about ignoring that uncomfortableness. 

Which is why he senes the fear building in Ranpo before it shows.

“Behind me, Atsushi,” he says, voice somewhat urgent. 

Ranpo doesn’t show that amount of care towards him usually. Whilst it’s clear that Ranpo doesn’t hate him—by the sweets on his desk whenever he finishes a job or a pat on his arm whenever he comes back safe—it’s unusual for Ranpo to voice it. Words come hard for someone who doesn’t know what to do with them.

He nods and steps back for the moment. Both of them know though he’d leap at the enemy the moment he smells danger towards Ranpo. Atsushi knows he’ll do it because he’s the combat type. Ranpo knows Atsushi’ll do it because his subordinate is a fool that cares way too much. 

Both also know that Ranpo will try to stop him.

“Oh, my,” a voice echoes around the beach, “I haven’t seen anyone of you for a while now.”

Atsushi looks up at the new arrival and… stares.

He can’t deny the man’s beauty. No matter how much a part of him wants to, there’s no denying that those sepia-brown colored eyes are probably the most calming ones he’s ever seen or that he’s rather fluffy hair fits around the shape of his head well. Or that the face maybe has been structured by a god.

That said though, Atsushi’s also someone who doesn’t really care that much about looks. His hair is still that unevenly cut created by someone who wanted to see him suffer after all.

So it’s not hard to notice the steel-cold look in those pretty eyes or that cunning smirk resting behind that nonchalant attitude. This man breathes danger and Atsushi has to take a few seconds to shove down the fear he develops and turn it into a resolve to not panic. 

He has to make sure Ranpo stays safe at all costs. 

“Hmm, a new one?”

He can feel the other’s gaze on him, burning deeply into his skin. In front of him, Ranpo draws a sharp breath. 

It’s not good that he’s getting noticed for Ranpo.

For Atsushi though, this is an opportunity to make sure Ranpo stays safe. 

He glares at the other but keeps his face impassive. The fear in him is boiling and he’ll use that to his own advantage.

Apparently, that catches the man’s curiosity.

“Well, should I introduce myself? My name is…”

Ranpo turns to stare at him as he mouths, ‘Atsushi, run!’

He shakes his head gently in response, ignoring fear filling into the other’s emerald eyes. 

“... Dazai Osamu.”

He knows that name. Months ago when he joined, Kunikida called him aside and explained to him what was essential knowledge about the agency. That knowledge included the Port Mafia.

Especially it’s member Dazai Osamu, the very man standing before him.

“If you see this man… run Atsushi.”

He remembers the tone Kunikida used, remembers realizing that running was just a fickle hope because most likely he’d end up dead. 

And now he stands before this man that contradicts anything Atsushi used to stand for. 

But Atsushi knows how to wield fear as a weapon, knows how to look at men with more blood on their hands than color in eyes and persist. Atsushi cannot run. Not with Ranpo there, not with the shattered windows of the orphanage in the back of his mind. So he walks in front of Ranpo and continues to glare at the mafia member.

“Ranpo-san,” he speaks up for the first time of this encounter, “leave.”

“Idiot, what th—”

“I told you to leave, didn’t I? Get help, preferably Yosano-san or Kunikida-san.”

It’s silent for a few minutes and Dazai raises an eyebrow in amusement. Then Ranpo runs, curse words leaving his mouth. 

“He left you to die all alone, huh?”

Atsushi shakes his head. “You are not here to kill me.”

“And why are you so sure of that?”

“I wouldn’t be standing and breathing if you wanted me death… You probably only see this as a quick, fun past-time activity.”

By the quirk of the other’s lips, Atsushi knows he’s playing his cards properly.

“Hmm, but what if I get bored?”

And Atsushi smiles back at him, knowing fully well how much that smile conflicts with his empty eyes.

“Then I’ll try my best to entertain you.”

Fear has shaped Atsushi and made a place for something way worse.

“Oh, but my games are not for those of faint heart, kid.”

“Dazai-san,” he starts, crouching down with one knee as he puts his gloved hands on the ground, “I wouldn’t mind feasting on your blood.”

It has made a place for a creature so luminous beneath the moonlight.

He shifts his whole weight into that one leg and waits.

And then he charges at the other, leaving behind any form of humanity he wears.

He’s the beast beneath the moonlight and he’s used to wearing cloaks made of a crimson color. 

“Dazai Osamu posses a nullification ability which can be activated by touch.” 

Avoid contact and dodge. Easy, he’s been doing that all his childhood.

He twists out of the way of the other’s attacks and dances around him, ready to strike whenever he finds an opening. 

“There’s no hesitancy in your movements,” Dazai notes, smirk fully visible. “Not like your co-workers who hold back from killing me out of all people.”

Atsushi still wears his smile.

“I don’t see the point in leaving someone so troublesome alive,” he admits. 

The killing has never been easy but the corpses rotting in the orphanage didn’t happen out of anywhere. 

“With that attitude to taking lives, you’d fit perfectly into the mafia.”

Atsushi sees the words for what they are—a taunt. Dazai hopes to use his morals to provoke him into being careless. The thing is, if those two share something then it’s probably the lack of their morals. 

“Probably,” he responds shamelessly, jumping out of the way of a kick.

Dazai blinks at that reply. 

“Then why aren’t you?”

Atsushi shrugs. 

“If I don’t care either way it’s just better to do the thing that makes people happier—saving lives and all, you know?” He doesn’t mention that that way of thinking is inspired by people being more intractable when he kills others. 

But apparently, he doesn’t have to because the mafia member is staring at him with wide eyes now and suddenly Atsushi has the feeling that the situation is about to change.

Minutes pass.

And then—

A smile so blinding settles on the other’s face, as indigo colored light shines on him.

“Say… you won’t join the mafia at all, will you?”

Atsushi thinks about it for a moment but then realizes that Kunikida would definitely kill him for joining and Ranpo would never talk to him again. Plus Yosano can be quite scary when she’s mad…

“No, not really. Why?”

“Hmm, then I’ll join the agency instead!”

“What the fuck?”

Both turn around to stare at Kunikida who is gaping like a fish at Dazai and Ranpo who just shakes his head with a sigh.

Atsushi turns to look back at Dazai before his gaze wanders up to the indigo sky. It feels almost like the sky wishes him good luck for somewhat reason but when Dazai steps closer, smiling at him he thinks he needs luck.

“Don’t dream of indigo skies,” he mumbles.

“Is something?”

He looks at the mafia member—apparently former mafia member now—and smiles.

“Just something I read in a book years ago.”

It’s quite sad. He’s pretty sure the book’s covered in blood now.

#dazatsu #bsd #bungou stray characters #my stars #requests #i dont do serious endings most of the time im sorry #also i rly just wanted dazai to suffer of flashabacks rip my mans #Anon #ask

[daughterofsinsloth]

Hello. I saw your post about giving recommendations of skk fics and I seriously love them! Thank you ❤️ Is it okay to ask you if you know any skk fics that are complete multi-chapter? I had been trying to search them but I most see one shots and abandoned multi-chapters.

Hello hello anon-chan!!! thank you so very much about your comment!! It means a lot! :) Mmm… I jnow what you mean! I have a lot of favorite fics that are uncompleted! But let’s have some fate that they will be upload! 💪💪

Here some soukoku multi-chapter fics!

i won’t lie (i knew you belonged here) by mountainlaurels:

(AU/9 chpts) this one is my very first fic and the one that actually got me inyo skk. the writer has done a great great job bringing you to their wolrd. here we are on modern setting but abilities are still on. Chuuya works at a flower shop and Dazai at the cafe across the street.  their interctions are slow and natural. you cant help but ship them. the other bsd characters are all in and they are treated respectifully and well done as if they are the mains. i really like the story and how it grows to the finale.its well writen and the feelings are overwhelming! this has a spanish translation from the writer.

Intoxicated by setosdarkness:

(AU/21 chpts) a really really great fic! nothing less from setosdarkness! definatly read her other works that are currently on-going. they are awesome and cinematic-like. really welldone and well-written. the plot is a bit tricky but it keeps you on edge. you get into the characters and when you will finish it, you will be suprized. its a mafia!AU and everyone plays. its a well build game. you are gonna love it. there is also smut in it, but its part of the game too. the hole thing is a game that you cant helped it but fell willingly into it and you will be satisfied with it.

Find Something Worth Dying For (And Learn How to Live) by kibasix:

(17 chpts) read the name of the writer.. no thats it. thats my analysis. KIBASIX! we are talking about one of the best writers, in my opinion. I cant even explain how perfect this fic is! this fic here?! I cried my eyes out! i was waiting the next chapter like kids wait Santa. simply immersive. it was an absolutely agonized journey. it was like a dance between the feels and the rightness of their world. its chapter was more majestic than the last and the next was more painful than the last. the writer’s words get imprinted in your heart and mind and you cant help but want to read more, feel more, see more. it has a cinematic feel. it starts from the very beginning and we see skk relationship how it evolved and how it suttered  like you are seeing it live. a sad poem in a form of a fic. the characters are practically singing their emotions out, only to be ignored by their life. and yet the fate laughs at them as she entangle them together. I can talk for hours how they write each of the character like a living being, forgeting none, and how they give each one a right place and the spotlight they deserve! an amazing work that leaves you full and empty in the same time. this one has a smak 4 chpts sequel “

Sparks Like A Match (Burns Like A Wildfire)

“ and another sequel that is yet to come (I believe in you kibasix-sama!). also check their other works, both multi and one-shot!

Noir by Adargo:

(20 chpts) another gem. another feel train. noir is the color of skk and this fic is the sorry song of their lives. a corrupted fic that leaves you craving for more. here we read with the shadow of Corruption on our back and the characters live under it.  its one of the character lives under their own corruption and try to get out only to have an odd feeling at the end. it could be more chpts or only this this and the feeling will be the same. we never leave corruption, just learn to live with it in this noir world. although I would love to see more, when you finish it you can only mutter a “wow” and then never live properly again. rips your heart out and fixs it momentaly to rip it again later. you live and breath with the characters and in the end you breath a new air, a better one for me. this epitomy of angst heals you so amazingly. as the characters go a step foward you take one too and from then one your heart has a different weight. a truly and without doubt exceptional work.

A Hearts Desire by Kaokita:

(AU/6 chpts) a beautiful fic. prostitute!Chuuya  opens to us a world that we see journalist!Dazai to bark in and challenge Chuuya in a “bet of felling in love".  a proud chuuya is always  present but here it compinate with a kinda impulsive chuuya, exposed to Dazai's hungry feeling for actual feels. here we are talking about the dark world of the underground were a no less dark but bright light (dazai) comes to shake the everyday life of our protagonist. its well written and well build. doesnt leave you with a complain and brings you to another world. really enjoyable to read. spoiler oda and chuuya having seeeeeex

 Forgettable Significance by Witheryvine:

(32 chpts) after the anime, the feels start.  if you thought that dancing with angst was easy, then you havent read this own. betreyal and love complicate each other and come to you to cry with them. a really interesting work and stunning. it is overwhelming but you want it to be. there are things that are needed to be said, words that have to come to the light and the writer not only do that perfectically but also gives you more to heal yourself  and breath.  it takes a lot to take back someone who meant the world for you and throw you away, yet! the writer  has done such a nice jod giving as the feelings, thoughts and fears that you cant help but be one with it. the style of writing helps the fic to encrave into you and honestly i havent see many write it so good.

You Won’t Lose Me (So Don’t Leave Me Behind) by hybridempress:

(14 chpts) now it will be a terrible mistake to leave this out!from bottom to the top its a must read. an emotional roller coster with the best of fluff. emotions well hidden are suddenly out. too fast changes leave you breathless and the characters have to take fast decisions, act fast and start to live from the zero. a phychological rebirth thats requares a lot of courage to abandon everything so you can chase after an old wild dream in a form of a man, new to you but as old as time to your heart. along with sequel of it  “

You Have a Heartbeat (You’re Real, You’re Here, You’re Human)

” by mostladylikeladythateverladied they create a perfectly must read at all cost fic that gives you the most satisfying feeling of “ah thats how it should be done”. skk are a complicate pair but the writers give them to you bare to see and feel with them to all your might. p.s. that amazing scenes with sskk at the sequel cured my heart!

Sorrow Already Spoiled by Soukokuhell:

(AU/16 chpts) an awesome fic is here once again. this AU is really well written and well build around two people  way too hurt, who find love and healing together. trying to move foward but with the past to hunt them down. love and fear are walking together here. the angst is getting healed by the characters emotions and the lovemaking is great! with each chapter the characters are getting healed and at the finale you get to breath again. the fluff is in the love and devotion they have for one another.

All Aboard by Asmicarus:

(8 chpts)an action fic with a lot of feels. chuuya is suffering again and dazai is an asshole but you can see that there is much more behind them. Dazai’s manipulating nature comes out to play and although it fools everyone, Chuuya manage to sutter it to the ground with a few words. the remark is 10000000% what we all need and what Dazai needs to hear. he pretends to be human but chuuya leave him naked to the bone. from here the story takes another turn to dazai realizing what is happening and what he needs and chuuya finaly decides to take what he deserve.

Silver and Shining by ShesAParadox:

(25 chpts) okay thats a fic that i havent read in a long time, but i remember it still in this day how good impression it left me.  the protagonist is fate and the puppets are skk, but not like any other fic. here there are a little things they can do.as their lives unfold and hardships are presented to them continuously, it becomes apparent that they are both the best and worst thing to have appeared in each other’s lives. the well written text  gives you piece by piece their thoughts and mind, fears and love from the first meeting  are amazingly describe and it leaves you complete. it  happends what it should happen. 

Underwater by meupclose:

(11 chpts) one hell of a fic. here is hopeless chaise with mori as the hunter and dazai as the prey. chuuya is the ‘innocent’ love one of dazai who has been called to play the savior. oda feels rip you apart, every character battles with inner and out demons and dazai is having a crisis. yet! the writer never fails to right a complicated masterpiece where life and death are playing chess. the fluff and smut take the fic to another level as a celebration of life and mori is practically playing death himself. a foolish man who wants to be a god and dazai is the child here who is desperate to live. chuuya steals the spotlight and lead to the end. its an excellent work of a mad song with the most logical story in a world that rules are made to be broken.

from my prievious fic rec please read “own no doubt”, “shared gravity” and insomnia_productions.

Why most of them are angst-like I dont know and Im sorry dear anon-chan. Im terribly sorry! kinda..  nonetheless they are all amazing and you should read them!!!

thank you very much for your ask! I hope that my reccomendations were good and you enjoy reading them! Tell me what you think~~ have a wonderful day anon-chan!!!!bye bye :)

#fic rec #highly recommended #bungou stray dogs #soukoku

[geckcellent]

bnha/bsd crossover??

pls consider

- chuuya mentoring ochako in gravity manipulation; the way they do it is different but things like 'don't freak out and lose your balance and fall flat on your face off the ceiling when you're tipsy, alright, fine, smashed out of your fucking mind and didn't realize what you were doing' (chuuya got a questioning look from ochako and a blank & vaguely threatening stare from aizawa)

- chuuya and aizawa being drinking buddies ft dazai and present mic aka the 'this is why chuuya and aizawa need a fucking drink' duo

- atsushi and deku sparring and deku being like WOAH!! when he discovers atsushi can pretty much match him in pure power up to a certain plus ultra % output although sushi definitely wins in agility; one time deku gets too into their training fight and actually breaks sushi's arm, sushi just shrugs it off like 'hey no worries! just gimme like 5 minutes and it'll fix itself, i'm working on reducing recovery time' deku's just all oH MY GOD THAT IS SO!! COOL

- i better not be the only one who thinks yaomomo and yosano would be pretty tight; BEST GAL PALS, POWER COUPLE or maybe more like yosano the COOL BIG SIS being the strong female mentor yaomomo deserves

- todoroki and akutagawa unexpectedly getting along really well; deku and sushi are surprised and a bit terrified at first but it looks like both formerly antisocial guys are learning from each other despite todoroki's attempts at showing aku how to Normal Human(tm) are not very helpful bc T B H todoroki doesnt score very high in the Normal Human(tm) department either

- adding on to that. aku seeing people being unsettled or disturbed by things todoroki does without realizing and realizes he does those same things too and goes 'oh i see, so it's not just the jinko being weird thats actually a thing thats scary to Normal Human(tm) people' and growing as a person

- fitzgerald and all might having lunch together on one of fitz's ocean liners and scaring the crap out of everyone with how similar they are despite not really appearing similar at all; twain jokingly asking all might if he's a superhero like in the comics and all might enthusiastically and 100% seriously booming 'why yes!', the entire America Squad is just so confused

- q hanging out with (read: tormenting) grape boy bc theyre roughly the same height, grape boy is just thoroughly terrified of q despite the latter thinking theyre genuinely doing things Normal Human(tm) children do to have fun

- idk maybe double black and/or black lizard squad being admired by the younger bnha villains and in a roundabout and definitely not planned (dazais the only one who knows for sure) way helping the kids realize being a 'villain'/going against the 'heroes' doesnt necessarily mean being evil

- extremely fascinated (hyperfixated if were being honest) kajii chasing bakugou around begging him to let him study bakugou's explosions FOR SCIENCE; bakugou being perplexed and at first annoyed by how kajii isnt afraid of his explosions literally at all

- kouyou and the UA headmaster weasel fancily having tea together ft mori crying in the background bc elise thinks the weasel is WAY CUTER than hell ever be

- this one started as a joke but the more i think abt it the more i like it but please consider kunikida unironically being awed by the wild wild pussycats and eventually getting informally adopted into their fam

- probably tsuyu becoming best friends with lucy maud montgomery and naomi bc they think she's adorable and non threatening; they both kind of remind tsuyu of her snake friend

- tanizaki realizing hes Too Gay to be single while theres now like 2x the gay flirting happening around him

- also realizing that growing up doesnt have to mean growing apart; he and naomi are always gonna be super close siblings who love each other but that they are also their own persons

- he has a mature talk with naomi about respecting his boundaries but also reassures her he doesnt wanna become more distant from her bc thats not the point, the point is being different people from each other doesnt invalidate their closeness

- kenji unintentionally pissing bakugou off by not being fazed by his explosions in the slightest and just being how he usually is

- kenji, kirishima and kaminari almost immediately form the three musketeers

- tokoyami and aku ft Same Hat meme; theyre both like 'uh yeah ok?? ??? ?' but literally everyone else just looks at them and goes SAME HAT MY GUYS......

- ranpo, poe and uhh 3:42am ramblings are NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN during finals week B YE

feel free to add!!

#bnha #bsd #crossover #au #memes?? memes #probably crack #rambling

[txintedsorrow]

Leave The Soul Alone.

Soukoku Week.

Day 3 : Historical AU.

AO3

Summary:  Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu AU He was fit to become a performer. To be on a stage all alone, becoming multiple people at once. Changing his intentions in the flicker of an eye, reciting stories that people loved for centuries. He was born to become a storyteller, hiding himself behind carefully planned lines and reactions to everything around him. Through the 1930's until the World War 2, they keep on telling their stories, waiting for the Shinigami.

Hello everybody! A few notes so the story will be understood with more ease.

This is an AU based on Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu. Rakugo is a form of storytelling in Japan, where a storyteller has to act several characters on stage, sitting on a mat on his knee, with only a small fan by his side, sometimes a candle as well to set the atmosphere. The stories they tell are usually funny but some very dark ones exist as well. The zenza is the lowest position you can have as a performer, later on you become a futatsume and lastly a shin’uchi which basically is like a Master of the art.

At some part of the story, I have a link to an actual performance, please watch it if possible so you will get how amazing it is!

Well I hope you will enjoy this!!

-

Year: 1929

When they first met, it was autumn. The brown leaves danced across his feet, as cold brown eyes took in the sight in front of them. The House of a Rakugo Master. His family had a connection with the arts for generations, so they decided to sent their youngest son to learn under a Master. Everyone had realized that Shuuji’s words had something magical in them, that made you pause and listen.  The ones around him had no idea what a dark place his mind was. He was far too observant, picking up little reactions, knowing just the right words to say. He made people laugh, because laughter allowed people to relax and let their guard down.

He was fit to become a performer. To be on a stage all alone, becoming multiple people at once. Changing his intentions in the flicker of an eye, reciting stories that people loved for centuries. He was born to become a storyteller, hiding himself behind carefully planned lines and reactions to everything around him.

Shuuji felt the hand of his father resting on his shoulder before he entered his new home. It was the start of another life. He inhaled sharply, before he opened the door to the garden. It was quite large just not as the one they had in his previous home. Chocolate eyes widen as he sees a single figure sitting underneath the red maple leaves dressed in a red kimono. His breath caught in his throat, as the other’s fiery orange hair was caressed by the wind. Etheral. That was what this sight seemed to his eyes. He had never seen such a striking colour. Without realizing it, he was moving forward hoping to reach out and see if it was real or just a fragment of his imagination. He stepped on the fallen leaves and that was when their gazes met. Light blue bore into brown, as he finally could see the one that had mesmorized him.

“You must be the new student.” It takes a bit until the words get registered into his mind and that is when he realies that the sight before him is indeed real.

“Beautiful.” he murmurs under his breath.

“Huh? Did you say something, newcomer?” Shuuji shakes his head in response and suddenly the other one is standing in front of him. He is petite with blue eyes staring at him curiously, but his every move is filled with grace.

“No, it’s nothing. My name is Shuuji...who are you?” the other smiles at him widely.

“I am Chuuya and the Master’s oldest student. So in short your senpai.” Shuuji blinks once. Ah. A guy. This feeling he had before should have disappeared but it didn’t. He whistled.

“Well, what is short here is you though.” he can’t help but respoind with a small grin.

“HUH?! What did you say?!” Chuuya’s voice turned into a shrill and the boy couldn’t help but laugh. Ah. This would be interesting.

-

In the end, they had to share a room. Shuuji stared into the thin celeling , lost in his thoughts. The sound from his left made him turn his attention to the boy sleeping next to him. Chuuya. Chuuya who moved with grace, Chuuya whose reactions were always so genuine, he had something captivating about him. He hummed as he reached out to run his fingers across that long red hair thinking about what he had learned.

Chuuya was apparently going to be a dancer, but his family lost their fortune in an incident, being unable to continue their career any lnger, they begged the Master to take him in, so the theater’s lights could still shine on him. He was glad, they had. Otherwise, they would hadn;t met in their lifetimes.

Rakugo was hard, but having someone to practice with  was fun, having someone to listen to him as he acted out was fun. He loved making Chuuya laugh, but in reality, he enjoyed the darker stories much more. They would challenge each other and perform in front of Master to see who was better. Whoever would win would get the dessert on that day or force the other to buy him something. Once, when Chuuya had won, he had used Dazai’s money to buy a hat, like the ones the adults wore. Dazai prefered their usual outfits, those foreign ones didn’t catch his interest, but Chuuya was in love with it, he would wear it even at night, it actually got annoying. He almost burned it once. Sadly Chuuya chose to return at that moment so his plan was ruined.

-

Year: 1937

Chuuya got to act in a theater first. Shuuji observed him carefully. Not many people were there to see a simple zenza. However his friend was performing even better than how he did at home. His eyes were shining much more. Ah, Chuuya loved to perform in front of an audience, the sound of their laughter would make his hands behind his sleeves turn into fists of satisfaction. Truly. The stage was where he belonged.

Shuuji’s turn didn’t come much later, his piece was a story of a trickster who took advantage of people around him. Blue eyes watched mezmorized as the teen changed his expression into a smug one holding the fan open with his left hand.

“It is I! The one you were after all along, but now it’;s too late!” his voice echoed clearly in the small theater. A few weeks later they were upgraded to futatsume’s. They received new names as well. It was huge honour. On the following weekend, after they had finished with all the ceremones and pratices, the brunet had a plan.

“Hey, Chuuya, let's go out to celebrate!” Shuuji had said smilling widely as he tagged the other teen through the busy streets of Kyoto, beautiful ladies dressed in kimono were chatting to theirselves as they ran through the crowd. The red laterns lit up their path, cherry blossom petals followed their every step.

“Hey, Shuuji! Where are we going?!” the red haired managed to ask as they reached yet another street.

“My name is Dazai now, remember, Chuuya?~” he drawled out his name dragging out the vowels in a teasing tone as his eyes shone with mischief. Chuuya rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, idiot Dazai! Answer to my question!” he demanded, getting free of the other’s hold and punching his shooulder.

“Ow!  Chuuya your name should had been changed into mean!” Dazai whined as he rubbed his arms “Truly, you are so impatient! We are really close!”

“This better be worth it, idiot.”

“Don’t you trust me?” Dazai faked a gasp looking at his best friend with shock in his eyes which made the poor guy shake his head.

“Of course not, now let’s just finish this game of tag already.” and with that he started walking forward. Dazai smirked.

“Chuuya, it’s on the other side!~” he pointed out cheerfully, loving how the tips of his ears turned red. Heh, cute~ Chuuya ran back to where Dazai was standing with a frustated expression on his face and that beautiful crimson across his cheeks, as the brunet gave him a smug look.

“I knew that!” he exclaimed glaring at the other futatsume, who hummed rather pleased.

“Sure you did~” soon they reached their destination. Chuuya raised an eyebrow. A bar? They were still 16 , could they even drink? Dazai grinned at him, motioning to him to come closer.

“It’s fine, as long you pay and they have food too, Chuuya, no need to order anything like that anyway~ We can have food and some tea if you prefer that~” his companion frowned slightly “Or maybe you are scared?” the brunet added using his last restort, his hands sneaking to throw an arm across his head, so his breath would settle just on his ear.

“What would I be scared of?” Chuuya tried to seem unfazed for now, but Dazai knew his habits like the back of his hand having growing up with him for so long, when Chuuya was nervous, he would grab onto his right sleeve and roll it betwteen his fingers. Something, he was doing just now. Dazai leaned clsoer making it sure, that his friend could feel the smirk on his voice.

“That you will lose to me. Are you up for a challenge, Chuuya? Or will you run away, hm?” Dazai asked in a darker tone and that was when he was grabbed by the hair and moved forward so Chuuya’s lips were just above his ear.

“Bring it on.” the growl just right to his ear made a shiver run down his spine and something darker shine in his eyes.

“Just what I wanted to hear!” and with that pulled back “Now, let’s do this!” they entered the shop. They ordered food first, as Dazai insisted that they shouldn't do this with an empty stomach, they needed to be able to walk back after all. When the drinks first came, Dazai didn’t hesitate at all and took a few sips. However that was not the case for his friend.Chuuya looked at his own cup with an expression of incredible focus and ferocity that  made his partner laugh.

“Chuuya, it won’t kill you or anything~ Really, you must be so scared~” Dazai coaxed him as he tapped his fingers against the wooden table. Dark blue eyes turned to stare at him with a flame so strong that his breath almost hitched in his throat. Chuuya lifted his cup.

“Watch me.”  and downed it in making Dazai stare in shock before he laughed at the other’s idiocy.

“Sure you can handle that, Chuuya?~”

“SHUT UP!” he exclaimed loudly “This is nothing!” and with that he filled his cup again “This burn is nothing! Huh, like I would lose!” and with that he gulped it all down,tasting the sake on his tongue. Dazai shook his head and drank a bit from his own cup.

“If you say so~” it wasn’t much later that Chuuya was slurring against his ear and shouting loudly in the shop that the pair had to excuse theirselves. Chuuya leaned on Dazai so he would be able to walk.

“See, Chuuya, you were so easy. Makes sense, nobody drinks like that on the first time.” the storyteller muttered under his breath as they crossed the bridge. It was late now, so less people were around.

“Shuuuut upp.” was the only response he got. Thankfully, their home wasn’t too far from there. Dazai opened the door and dragged Chuuya into their shared room.

“There we go.” he basically threw him across the futon, before letting  a sound of relief. He hoped the red haired would just fall asleep now, but as he was ready to leave to grab something, he was pulled down harshly by his right hand, so he landed on the futon next to Chuuya with a groan of pain.

“What was that for?” he questioned turning to stare at Chuuya who was taking off his outer kimono, slowly. Maybe it was the alcohol in his system, but the sight of him  undressing slowly under the moonlight made his heart twist.

“I won.” Chuuya said simply as he leaned forward “It’s hot so I am taking this off. I want to get my prize.” he added with his eyes clouded as his gaze buried into the other’s form.

“Well, you didn't really win but whatever, what is it that you want?” Chuuya paused llooking to the side flustered making Dazai raise an eyebrow “So?” Chuuya murmured something under his breath but  he couldn’t hear it.

“Huh?” Say it louder.”

Chuuya just growled and pulled him forward clashing his lips against Dazai’s. Brown eyes became open wide as hands reached to tug his hair applying force. He felt unable to breathe, his hands stayed motionless on his side as Chuuya sucked out the oxygen out of his body. When he pulled away, a trace of saliva connected their lips. Their breaths came out in loud pants.

“Shuuji.” his true name being whispered hotly right after what just happened, really wasn’t good for his health. But when did Dazai care about his health anyway? He wanted to hear it again. Chuuya looked so beautiful right now.

“Yes?” his voice came out slightly hoarse. He felt heat suffoating him. The alcohol. Yeah. Totally the alcohol. The other licked his lips before he spoke.

“Kiss me again.” he moaned softly leaning forward.

Fuck.

Dazai no longer cared, if it was the alcohol or if the attraction he always had towards Chuuya,  all he wanted to do was kiss him until he left him breathless. He pushed him against the futon caging his smaller body with his arms, loving the surprised gasp that left his target. His gaze darkened.

“As you wish, Chuuya.” instead of kissing him on the lips, he aimed for somethimg more risky. He had no experience whatsoever but, he knew that Chuuya’s neck was sensitive and that he hated other’s touching it. He let his breath ghost all over it before kissing it. The sound that Chuuya made to his actions was heaven to his ears, as he sucked on it more.

“Fuck.” this time it was Chuuya who let out a curse in the midst of pleasure.That was when Dazai realized that this would be his demise. But well, it was a good way to go. Burning this sight into his memory. Of Chuuya’s pale neck being decorated by marks he made, of how wide his eyes were, of how much fucking wrecked he looked. Dazai didn’t care, if he would go to hell at the moment, as long as he had this.

Since that night, their relationship changed. They kept it hidden from everyone else, only when they were alone, their true feelings would show. They said their first words of love a few days later, Chuuya in an embarassed murmur as he slept on Dazai’s side and Dazai while playing with his hair as he fell asleep. They continued to practice hard every day and apppear at local theaters, now as futatsumes they had more costumers waiting to see them act. It was rather satisfying. The seats would be almost full in both cases. It sure was a satisfying sight.

-

Year: 1939.

Dazai had been wanting to find more works to cover, as he chatted with other fellow storytellers, the name Shinigami caught his attention. It was a story about how a doctor who always seeked money, one day a shinigami appeared in front of him. It sounded more like his type of story, the chilling ones were always his favourites. He decided to try it out.

As he crossed the busy streets of Kyoto, he could feel the uneasiness in the air. His own gaze turned colder as he read one of the newspapers that were handed to him. The wheels were turning. War was starting. The alliance that had been done with Germany since a few years ago was finally set into motion. Japan would plunder and take more territories. Expanding its power, so everyone would bow their heads to them.

Dazai threw the newspaper away as he noticed a familiar hat standing nearby  a shop. Chuuya had taken the job of a waiter so they could get a slightly bigger apartment, Dazai had teased him about how he looked on the unifrom countless of times, but Chuuya enjoyed the dress up. Of course, Dazai had invited himself to the restaurant more than once just to annoy his lover. This time however he knew that his shift was over.

“Hey.” he called out as he let a gentle smile appear across his face. Chuuya smiled at him but his was much more forced. They walked back together.

“Hey.” Chuuya hummed back wanting to do nothing but rest in his lover’s arms “I heard some stuff on the shop...will we be alright?” the worry was crystal clear and it made sense. The sense of doom was slowly approaching.

“We will just do what we do best.” Dazai assured him “Perform.” Blue eyes rested on his form, hesitantly interwining their fingers as they reached their papartment.

“You are right.” he agreed in a soft voice before grinning “Let’s see who will become a shuuinichi first.”

“Oh Chuuya, of course it will be me. I have an ace up my sleeve.” that caught his interest and shortly he raised his eyebrow.

“Oh?”  Dazai smirked.

“Its a secret.”

“Bastard.”

“You know you love me~” and with that he wrapped his arms around Chuuya’s form, inhaling his scent of cigarette and rose. A muffled idiot was heard but it only made him grin wider.

“I am your idiot though~”

“Oh, shut up you sap.”

Chuuya soon couldn’t take it anymore, after a day of hard work, he fell asleep in Dazai’s arms. Fingers run through his hair in soothing motions as the night came.

-

Year: 1940

War finally broke out. Orders were sent out. Even the performers were affected. Some would be sent to entertain the soldiers. Chuuya was chosen as well. Dazai had insited to go with him, but his own post was on Tokyo to ease the civilians. Chuuya was needed to make soldiers laugh so they can hold ou t a bit more. He would be sent to Manchuria. That night, they had a fight but soon they found themselves returning to each other.

“Hey, Chuuya.’ Dazai said as the night sky was covered with clouds hiding the moon from their eyes.

“Hm?”

“Promise me that you will come back.”  its a uiet murmur and Dazai doesn’t look at him in the eye.

“Dazai...”

“We still haven’t become shuunichis, haven’t we? You need to be here to celebrate with me when I win, so...promise me you will do that.” Chuuya le out a sigh, hiding his eyes with the outer side of his palm, trying to hold back the tears,.

“You are an idiot...” the usual insult was said in a slightly choked tone, because he knew like Dazai did, that war was cruel and would take away lives without any mercy “I...promise..”

A few days later Chuuya left. It left an emptiness in Dazai’s chest, unable to hold back the terrible unease he had, he kept performing and memorii zing scripts. Letters would arrive from Chuuya every few months.  

Year: 1943

It was a snowy winter night in Tokyo. The war was cruel, he needed to do his best and entertain costumers as much as he could. He walked into the stage his footsteps being followed by the sound of Koto playing and people clapping. It was mostly elders as well as women and children. Men were sent to fight after all. Dazai smiled at the audience before sitting down on the small mat. Next to him was a candle and a small fan. The candle’s flame was dim but he didn’t notice yet.

“Ah, hello there. Thank you for coming on such a cold winter night.” he said before standing up. His eyes stared into the audience as he started reciting.

“Overtime things fall in and out of fashion, yet the world of the gods never changes.” he took off his coat, making his voice sound hostile as everything began. It was the story of a Shinigami. (Perforamance)

The story unfolded slowly and a darkness was surrounding Dazai slowly. All he could see was the light of the candle. It represented the human life, the shinigami laughed in his mind as he tried to make the flame stay alive. It was futile.

“It’s going out, your life will disappear.”

“SHUT UP!”

The light trembled and a wide grin spread across his face as it died out. He was left alone in the abyss.

“See....it went out...” he drawled out slowly his voice turning daker and hoarse. The crowd errupted in cheers amazed by the perfomance. Dazai wore his smile again, his first mask before bowing his head again. He went home feeling empty and dead inside, he needed to remain alive for Chuuya’s sake if anything. He wished the Shinigami would just leave him alone. That night, his dreams showed the crashing waves taking his body away, until it had all faded away.

A letter arrived on his doorstep that very morning.He rushed out and teared the letter open, agonizing unable to hold back any longer. It had been months since he had received a letter from Chuuya. He was so relieved, he could almost start crying now.

The file fell from his hands and his knees were too weak to hold him with a thud he found himself lying on the floor, still clutching onto the paper so hard it almost started getting teared up apart.

“Nakahara Chuuya was killed in the last bombing of December.”

“That can’t be true.” denial washed over him as the smilling face of his lover appeared o n his mind, replaced by a lifeless corpse with a hole across his chest.

“Shinigami.” he uttered out in shock  he tried to stop the twars from falling, he couldn’t breathe.  “Shinigami, why did you take him?! Why didn’t you take me instead?!”

Dazai laughed as he hid his face with his hands.

“Ah....that’s right....Chuuya...we promised woe would be always together, didn’t we?” with each step he took he was getting closer to the balcony, the house he was staying had a view over to the river. Brown eyes stared down without any emotion in them.

“Let me be with him, Shinigami. Let me rest in his arms.” He stood on top of the balcony, before letting the water swallow him whole.

Chuuya....I will find you...even in death.

The end.

#soukokuweek #soukoku week #soukoku #dachuu #day 3: historical au #nakahara chuuya #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara

[violentruin]

Okay, so I was thinking about how Dazai treated/trained Atsushi vs. Akutagawa. And it got really long.

Akutagawa

The Port Mafia is based on taking. Snatching something, even people’s lives, and making it your own, no matter what the cost is. They are violent people.

Dazai was brought up in an environment like this and wasn’t taught to be warm and loving. He wasn’t trained to be so towards others, either.

When he sees Akutagawa, he knows he’ll belong in the Port Mafia perfectly because of his nature. Akutagawa lived in the slums, at the bottom of the bottom, was vicious and stopped at nothing to get what he needed for himself and those around him.

To get someone like Akutagawa to join the Port Mafia, Dazai knows violence as reparations is best. So he kills the men that murdered Akutagawa’s friends (which what kind of oddly murderous-romantic-gesture is that?) to coerce Akutagawa into being his subordinate.

In all honesty, Dazai could have forced Akutagawa, he has the power, but he doesn’t.

Maybe Dazai saw part of himself in Aku?

Anyway, being nice in the Port Mafia doesn’t fucking fly. But he does give Akutagawa the chance to turn him down, and even warns him that there will be days where Aku will wish he was back in the slums. Akutagawa agrees in the weirdest but most fitting way (apparently he howls? Akutagawa didn’t see himself as human until he felt hatred).

A tip-top executive takes the time, goes out of his way, kills people meant to be under the Port Mafia’s protection, just to please Akutagawa. That and of itself from Dazai is a feat. (You might usually just buy a gotdamn gift or some food for a normal person? Murder would not be necessary??).

Akutagawa was called The Silent Rabid Dog for a reason. Coddling him wouldn’t have worked, speaking to him in niceties for training would have been futile, and Akutagawa wouldn’t have respected him.

In A Heartless Dog, Aku says Dazai gives him his second feeling that he’s ever had, and it’s respect. You can see that Akutagawa uses some of the same words to describe Dazai that have been used to describe himself: bottomless eyes, demonic, heartless, ruthless. Dazai is the embodiment of what Akutagawa wants to be.

Dazai is promoted the same day he goes looking for Akutagawa because as an executive he can take on any subordinate he chooses. He chooses Akutagawa as his first. So, of course, there are many experimental mistakes (as we see it) Dazai makes.

Dazai was only about a year or two older than Akutagawa, Aku describes him as a boy when he sees him. He says Dazai is thin and calls him a youth. Don’t forget that Akutagawa was going to kill Dazai, if not for the nullification ability he has.

Give a young boy who’s ready to die without blinking a reason to live, he’ll see nothing else but the person who saved him. He sees Dazai has some sort of demonic holiness, not even a god would cross his path.

Fast-forward to training. Dazai shoots, kicks, and punches Akutagawa, like really does the kid in. Akutagawa has been warned. I’m sure Dazai has done so more than just that first time they met. But! Dazai does all these things to strengthen Akutagawa because, as Dazai says in one scene, the enemy won’t wait for Akutagawa to get up or recover. He has to learn how to take some really fucking hard hits.

Dazai had to have undergone the same training, seeing that his ability can’t be used to attack. He’s using what he’s learned and what he knows is best. Dazai has a strange knack for knowing what will and won’t work.

When Akutagawa gets back up from every attack Dazai lays on him, you can see that he’s pleased, and he might even tell him “good.” Praise wasn’t a spoken factor, which probably wasn’t a part of Dazai’s training either.

Praise is reflected in the amount of fear inflicted upon enemies and the reputation given to you throughout Yokohama. When you look at it, Dazai broke and shaped Akutagawa into someone who could disobey Mori’s orders and get away with it because it benefited the Port Mafia in the end, even though most of Akutagawa’s motives were for himself.

Akutagawa becomes a mirror of Dazai, maybe stronger. The most feared man in Yokohama, even the Agency likes to steer clear of him.

For all the pain Dazai inflicts on him, it’s for good reason. He wants his first subordinate to survive, so he grinds Akutagawa into dust and builds him back up from the ashes. If it’s going to be anyone, it’ll be him doing it so no one else will be able to. The Port Mafia is a dog-eat-dog world and Dazai intends for his dog to prevail (and he does).

For dogs the most vital aspect of their lives is the person who takes them in, gives them reason to live. Dazai is that person to Akutagawa, the Port Mafia’s dog. Without all that ruthless training and showcasing of violence, Akutagawa wouldn’t have respected (loved) Dazai at all. He wouldn’t be at the height he is.

Atsushi  

The Agency is about giving, helping out those in need. They don’t use violence unless it’s needed. The complete opposite of the Port Mafia.

Here, Dazai does a complete 360. In the sense that he isn’t as serious and savage. He does have his times when people notice that look in his eye.

I like to assume that Dazai knew that Atsushi was the tiger way before he physically encountered him. Dazai has had to track people down before, for sure, and he has that strange knack for knowing things.

Dazai lures Atsushi in with the promise of food (like normal people). He’s eccentrically goofy in front of Atsushi, giving the boy a sense of security to let his guard down completely.

Dazai probably had it in the works to take on the tiger before he even said it aloud after nullifying Atsushi’s ability.

Onto training and how Dazai treats Atsushi. He doesn’t get physical the same way he did with Akutagawa because the Agency isn’t that type of organization.

He does let Atsushi go on that, seemingly, small mission with Naomi and Tanizaki. Dazai knows Higuchi isn’t who she says she is, knows who she works for, and knows Akutagawa would be out to get Atsushi. Dazai knows how violent it could get, is going to get, but let’s Atsushi get a taste of what it’s like out there.

Letting him see his new companions possibly die (like Aku did) and having to fight off someone like Akutagawa is a warning within itself, unsaid. There will be days when you wish you were back in the slums. Even though the Agency is unlike the Port Mafia, Atsushi will encounter gruesome fights (his leg gets torn off) and barbaric people.

Dazai’s training for Atsushi is to let him waddle off into the the world and experience it for himself, while keeping an eye on him, or someone else from the Agency to do so. (In the Port Mafia he had to keep Akutagawa in check all on his own for various reasons).

He is gentler with Atsushi because the tactics he used with Akutagawa won’t fly, not only because that’s not how it works in the Agency, but because it won’t work correctly. Atsushi is an anxious mess already because the people in the orphanage belittled him at every turn, Dazai can’t use that.

He might also be learning from his mistakes with Akutagawa (he’s dependent and his loyalty to Dazai is a weakness, as seen when he jumped for the earpiece just to speak to him). Dazai doesn’t want Atsushi to become entangled so deeply with him like that and become a liability.

Dazai does throw Atsushi’s limp body away in the first episode (as Dazai also leaves Chuuya behind after using Corruption because maybe after Oda, anything akin to a dead male body? He doesn’t want to hold it). And he slaps Atsushi to knock him out of his self-pity trance after Q uses his ability on him.

Dazai isn’t one to show affection to his subordinates and the slap he delivers to Atsushi is one of the first traces of like…his past self in a way? He’s never laid a hand on Atsushi that way before and his demeanor in that moment reminds me of his Dark Era days. If Akutagawa had broken down like that, Dazai might have punched him. But, once again, he takes a different route that both suits Atsushi’s soft nature and gets his point across.

Dazai lets Atsushi take baby steps and the community in the Agency also “raises” him.

With Akutagawa, Dazai was young with other troubling responsibilities and had to quickly teach his subordinate for use, all at the same time. Also, the Port Mafia is about being ruthless, so he had to keep nurturing that part within Akutagawa.

Overall, Akutagawa was taken in by Dazai at a crucial time in his youth, and formed an attachment to Dazai because of it. They were both too young for what they were going through, and Dazai could have gone lighter on Akutagawa, but Akutagawa wouldn’t have wanted him to, Dazai’s brutality is one of the reasons Akutagawa looks up to him.

All he wants is recognition, not a lighter kick to the gut, and Dazai knew this. If he had been gentle with Akutagawa, he wouldn’t have survived in the Port Mafia, probably would have been killed. Dazai knew what he was doing and knew it needed to be done if he wanted Akutagawa to survive and hone his skill.

I’d say Dazai approved of Akutagawa before he met him. He just wanted to sharpen his skills and being gentle wasn’t the way to do that, or to earn Akutagawa’s respect. Dazai was impressed with Akutagawa from the first time they met, a second too late and Akutagawa might have just killed, or maimed, Dazai. Atsushi tells him that his mentor recognized Akutagawa a long time ago. Dazai would have killed him otherwise.

But Dazai being Dazai, he doesn’t know how to be affectionate. He didn’t grow up around affectionate people. Reading A Heartless Dog,  it seems to be heavily implied that Akutagawa is a younger, mirror image of Dazai. I mean, how cute (and sad) is that?

Atsushi lived his life in a cold home, berated each day. He’s timid because he had structure and rules, but grew without seeing his own worth. Dazai adapts to this, and I don’t think Fukuzawa (or Oda because he loved orphans) would approve of him training Atsushi the way he did Aku (which Oda probably told him to go easy on the kid at some point), and because of Fukuzawa, Atsushi can control his abilities. He just needed to believe in himself. Akutagawa had to learn how to hone and control his own ability through himself and Dazai’s rigid structure.

I love Akutagawa and Atsushi lots and lots, and I just wanted to study this. I didn’t read the manga. I’ve only watched the anime and read Akutagawa’s side story, A Heartless Dog. Feel free to correct me on certain things or if I need to add stuff.

#osamu dazai #akutagawa ryunosuke #atsushi nakajima #bungou stray dogs #daaku #daatsu #character study

[hnnnfdfds]

Paint My Beating Heart

The thing was, that he always appreciated the little things. The things, no one would pay attention to, because they were so ridiculously unimportant and easy to forget. But he remembered them, and cherished them a lot. Dazai Osamu was a weird person by people's standards. He enjoyed the wind breezes on a cold autumn day, and loved the smell of green tea and books. He loved the sound of raindrops hitting the ground, and the clear, blue sky as it slowly turned into an orange tone, and changed to a mix between dark purple and dark blue. He adored the brown coat he wore, or the clean white of his paperwork, even though he hated signing it. He was weird, talking about suicide - about life and death, as if it was nothing but a mere children's game, a mere dream. But maybe that was okay, considering there was a boy laying in his room, shining silver and completely colorless. Maybe it was okay, because the boy was transparent and Dazai was stunned. And then he opened his silver eyes, taking Dazai's breath away. ◇ The idea of living with a ghost still startled him sometimes, and made him think about the whole situation. How could he accept it? He still woke up every morning, expecting to see that the ghost didn't exist and that everything was just a silly dream, made out of his mind's unconscious desire to leave life behind and join the silent and the dead. But then he opened his brown eyes and woke up to the ghost either staring at him, with those fascinating, silver eyes or to look around the room and see him lingering in front of his window, admiring the sky. How could this be anything but a dream? That's the question that plagued him day for day, since he first laid his eyes on that transparent being. But every day, he would get an answer in the form of the ghost's gestures. He would smile at Dazai and follow him around, unseen by everyone else. He would make breakfast for Dazai, unable to eat it himself. And he would hug Dazai, whenever he woke up from one of his many nightmares. Slowly, Dazai started to accept that the ghost wasn't merely a fragment of his scarred imagination and actually existed. It happened in the middle of work as well, so his partner's stunned expression, as he suddenly stopped playing around and just stared at the spot where the ghost hovered with wide eyes, wasn't unexpected. After that, Dazai genuinely tried. Tried to learn about the ghost, that literally haunted him. His name was Atsushi. ◇ Atsushi loved to follow him around, that was something Dazai quickly learned. At work, the ghost would look over everyone's shoulder or sigh at Dazai's childish antics. He would agree with some of the things Kunikida, his partner, said to Dazai (it was an amusing sight, seeing Atsushi hover beside the strict looking man, nodding his head). At other times Atsushi would be the one to cause mischief, and despite such days being rare, Dazai loved them. After all Atsushi's preferred target was Edogawa Ranpo, a little smug shit. It was just to refreshing seeing the all-knowing guy with a smart mouth shut his trap, because for once he couldn't figure out who stole his sweets or tinkered with his chair when he wasn't present. The best thing was, that Ranpo suspected it had to do with Dazai, but couldn't prove anything. No one could. Other than Dazai. But work wasn't the only place Atsushi followed him - stores and cafes as well. And with a surprisingly amount of curiosity. It was clear to Dazai, that Atsushi could remember his life before his death (though he didn't talk much about it, not that Dazai could blame him). So, he couldn't help his surprise, when Atsushi would point at things which were common known and ask him what they were - nor couldn't he stop being surprised, whenever Atsushi started to ramble excitedly about how he couldn't believe such a thing existed. It also happened in Dazai's apartment with his things, but since he didn't keep much, a lot less than outside. Somehow, it pained him to see the rather cheerful and naive ghost be excited at such small things. And wasn't Dazai the one that appreciated those small things? ◇ As he first noticed it, Dazai blinked in surprise. Color. The silver ghost had some color. Not much and it was kind of faded and weak - but it was there and both, said ghost and Dazai where excited. So, both tried to figure out how the colors came back, but they couldn't think of anything and hours later they decided to let it be for awhile. Instead, Dazai started to focus on Atsushi's existence, because no matter how much he cherished the company of the ghost (it was fitting, for Dazai to cherish the dead), Atsushi shouldn't exist and both knew that. They tried various theories and ideas, but with no avail, Dazai finally dared to ask Atsushi about his past and his death. And although the ghost seemed reculant to tell his tale, he did it anyway - to Dazai's dismay, because what he found out was terrible. And then he remembered a white building and adults surrounded by scared children. He remembered the job of destroying a former orphanage - of course Dazai did it, after seeing the children outside and safe, knowing he wouldn't have a problem later - or so he thought. Because clearly, he didn't know about that little boy in the basement, chained and unable to escape. The job always seemed a bit odd too him - but he had a lot of other "odd" jobs, and a former orphanage wouldn't change that... ... or wouldn't have, if he didn't just find out that he was the ghost's murderer - a fact known to said ghost. Then why where his silver eyes filled with love instead of hate? ◇ It took him awhile to get over it - such things rarely affected him. After all he had done much worse. But Atsushi was an exception to all of Dazai's rules. So the man grieved, glancing at the boy often and staring at the sky, a bottle filled with liquid in his hand - until one day the ghost hugged him (even though he couldn't touch him) and Dazai broke down. "Why are you still here?" "I don't want to be anywhere else." Suddenly, there was more color on the ghost. ◇ After finally getting himself together, Dazai restarted his search for answers about the ghost haunting him. And one day, in the corner of his eyes, Dazai saw the colors shine brighter as the boy played with kittens that sensed his presence. "How... did you feel just now?" "Eh? Um... happy, at ease and... alive?" That was it. Dazai's eyes widened in shock and suddenly it made sense - he had solved the mystery, but not fully. In the evening at home, Dazai asked Atsushi if he wanted to live. The ghost's answer were tears. ◇ Atsushi hated his presence, unseen by everyone. It was the same as he was alive, but at least people knew then that he existed. And then suddenly he woke up in someone's apartment and met Dazai. Dazai, who was his murderer (even if unwillingly). Dazai, who could see him. Was it really that unbelievable that he stayed? He met a lot of people through Dazai. They didn't know him, but how cold they? They couldn't even see him. Being a ghost was horrible, unfair even. He knew about them, but they would never know about him. It was weird though. He continued to grow, and all his colors vanished, leaving him in a transparent silver. So, when he met Dazai and started to gain them back, he was excited. And then Dazai asked him. "Atsushi-kun... do you want to be alive?" He cried. It wasn't an easy answer. He used to think he shouldn't, didn't deserve to - then he died, and suddenly he was a ghost. He was devastated, but he still held onto that belief... and then he met Dazai. Everything crashed, everything changed. He wanted to live so badly. So, he tried to clutch Dazai's shirt, even if he knew that he couldn't touch it, and continued to cry. "It's so s-selfish... I used to want to die... I begged for death... and n-now where I got it..." And then he looked up. ◇ Dazai's eyes widened, as the other looked at him. "... I know I-I don't deserve it... But I want to be live! I want to breath and hug people! I want to hold someone and talk with people... I know I'm being selfish, b-but..." For the first time in years, Dazai cried. "I want to be alive!" Atsushi's orbs had the color of the sunset, and he could feel two hands hold his shirt tightly. He did the first thing he could think of. He hugged Atsushi. ◇ Dazai loved the little things in life. Waking up to Atsushi and holding his hand. Patting his head, or looking into his eyes. They were the most important things in his life, and he appreciated them. -☆- Titles are a bitch. I tried my best. ~ Dreamer

#atsushi nakajima #dazai osamu #dazatsu #dazushi #bungou stray dogs #bsd #finished