#But will I have the strength? to tell the darkness…goodbye…’ I cry.

[ziracona]

The Darkness really is the best song in the show.

#not musically. like as far as sheer Song goes it’s probably It Was A Shit Show or something but for like. emotion and rarity? I’ve never #ever seen someone confront that really ugly side to mental illness and it’s done so well. like yeah. it can become your identity to be ill #and you can fear losing it and it becomes a parasitic relationship that’s killing you and that’s not good and it’s hard to talk about — #almost impossible. because like. you /know/ how bad ‘what if without this I’m not interesting anymore and people have no reason to worry so #they have no reason to care about me’ is as a statement like that’s fucked up to think and feel. but it’s also not malicious or really you #it’s a part of being sick and people who haven’t been don’t understand it which makes it scary to try to confront and best because it makes #you sound so horrible—it makes you sound horrible to /yourself/ and that makes it hard even for you to confront it alone because you have to #admit it to kill it. I got so sick when I was dying of an ED and my brain got so fucked I began to believe with intense primal terror that #it had become so much of my identity nobody would care about me without it. which makes no sense but to a dying addicted head it did. and #I’ve never seen someone confront and discuss that ugliness so openly or so sympathetically at the same time. the line ‘for so many years ive #used the Darkness to feel. But now there are things in my life that are actually real. I’ve got to make a choice darling don’t ask me why. #But will I have the strength? to tell the darkness…goodbye…’ I cry. #it applies to a lot under that. to trauma associated with social neurodivergence where you learn to fear feeling happy as a kid because you #get loud or too much or things you don’t understand enough to not do them so the only way to be safe from repercussions is to not /be/ happy #in the first place. it applies to having clinical depression you’ve survived alone since childhood and your way of making it through life is #so intrinsically tied to coping with depression you have no idea what you’d be without it. it’s learned self-hatred of a cluster B needing #to hate themself to keep back the world flooding them when they feel at risk by doing it first #and it’s not pretty and it’s not easy but it is so fucking important people admit this is such a fucking common thing with serious mental #illness. how are we to get through self hatred and hopelessness and despair if we can’t even see the things we think are too bad to face are #as common a symptom as cutting? and just as curable and forgivable and not representative of who we are #god I love that song #crazy ex-girlfriend

[violet-fluff]

💙 Levi x Sick! Reader

Pulling Through

“We should visit Y/N. It’s been a while.” Petra says sadly.

Gunther frowns. “You know Captain won’t let us. It seems like the better she gets, the more protective he is. Which I understand. It took so long for her to get better so he’s probably paranoid of her getting sick again.”

You caught a bad case of pneumonia, and at one point, the doctors didn’t think you would make it. Fortunately you did pull through and you felt like it was all because of Levi. He took care of you from the beginning. He made sure you took your medicine on the dot, bathed you, fed you and did everything in his will to keep you alive. Now you are in the recovery stage trying to get your strength back.

Petra feels sympathetic for her Captain as she knows how much he loves you. “Hanji told me before that Levi’s mother died due to sickness. It would have been awful if the same happened to Y/N.”

“If what happened to me?”

They all quickly snap their heads to the side and gasp when they see Levi rolling you in a wheelchair into the mess hall.

“Y/N!!” Petra squeals excitedly.

“Well look who decided to finally show up.” Eld jokes lightly as they all walk up to you.

You feel Levi’s hand stiffen on your shoulder as everyone gets closer, so you give his hand a light squeeze to tell him it was ok.

“I begged Levi to let me come out and get some fresh air. I feel better already!” You smile as you take in the sight of your friends who you’ve missed.

They all take in the sight of you as well. Their faces dropping slightly as they notice your thin frame from the weight you’ve lost, as well as your dark sunken eyes against your pale skin.

“Well it’s good to see you out and about.” Oluo announces happily, for once not uttering a sarcastic comment.

Levi grunts. “Ok brats, time to leave my wife alone. She needs to eat.”

You give the team a knowing smile and let Levi wheel you to the table. While you wait for Levi to finish making your soup, you catch up with your friends.

“I’m so glad you’re ok.” Petra croaks out, trying to not cry.

You lean over to hug her. “Don’t cry it’s okay.”

Oluo rolls his eyes. “I’m glad you’re back so now I don’t have to listen to Petra’s girly gossip anymore.”

Gunther snorts a laugh. “It’s weird you say that because from the looks of it, you love the gossip.”

Petra sighs. “Bet you didn’t miss these bozos.”

You laugh. “I miss everything. Time seemed to fly by for me though. I can’t believe I’ve been down for two months now.”

“It was a long two months without one of our favorite captains. Also, there was no one to protect us from Captain Levi’s harsh training.” Eld says.

“It was much needed training.” Levi scolds as he walks back in with a bowl of soup.

Due to muscle pain and weakness, Levi has to hold the bowl for you but you were able to lift the spoon to feed yourself. You were only able to eat half of the bowl before becoming full.

“Please, Love, just eat a few more spoons for me.” Levi begs with a sigh.

Petra has to cover her mouth to stop herself from squealing while the guys look at each other awkwardly as they have never witnessed their captain so lovey-dovey.

After eating a few more spoons to make Levi content, you yawn. “I’m tired. Can you take me back to the room?”

Levi nods and grabs the handles of your wheelchair.

“I’ll see you all tomorrow.” You wave goodbye to your team.

Everyone watches as Levi wheels you away, as well as kissing the top of your head.

Petra watches with love-struck eyes. “I’m so happy for them. I hope I find love like that one day.”

Oluo scoffs and then hurls over as she elbows him in the stomach.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman #levi aot #levi attack on titan #attack on titan #captain levi

[jemandderkeinenusernamenfindet]

Shattered under your skin l Azriel x reader

Part 2 of ???

Chapter Summary: You gather the pieces.

The sun has not yet risen but the darkness has yielded to a soft grey light. You were still slumped against the tree. Fingers mindlessly trailing over the bark you stare at nothing in particular. In the matter of one night your life had been uprooted. Betrayed, alone and cold you wonder how long until someone found you. Surely the inner circle was looking for you, alarmed either by Elain or Azriel. Everytime your gaze snagged on the mark on your wrist, a misty band climbing up your hand to your ringfinger, your tears come back. Your innitial panic attack had ebbed after a while, leaving you raw and empty.

Staggering to your feet you start walking. You had winnowed into a forrest, one you hadn't visited in years. Still, it was familiar. You had lived here once, before your life in the night court. Before Azriel. Before you had helped your best friend carry a dying blonde to the border. It's the same spot you stand at now. One foot in the night court, one in autumn.

"I didn't think that this would be the place we'd meet again." you'd known him there for hours. Eris had been watching from the distance, kept various creatures from approaching you while you took your time. You played his game.

"It's been a while." your voice betrayed your hours spend crying. Not that he hadn't been there for it. From the corner of your eye, you see him step forward until he was at your side. He didn't look at you but with a flick of his wrist you felt warmth wrap around you.

"What brings you back? That bat of yours bore you?"

"Apparently he's not my bat." At that, he turns his full attention to you. Eyebrows raised he waited for you to continue.

"Well I didn't expect that-"

You laugh dryly:"Yeah me either. Really ruined my night."

"What happened?"

By the time your tale is finished the tears were back and finally you threw yourself into Eris warm embrace. It's been years since you had spoken but somehow your friendship hadn't broken. He still smelled like smoke and cinnamon and safety. He drew you into his chest tightly, stroking your hair and waiting for you to tell him how to fix this.

But there was no fixing this. There will be an aching hole in your chest for the rest of your life. Because after this, how are you supposed to ever trust Azriel again? If he is capable of hurting you while loving you? No, you had been prepared to walk out on him the second you discovered the betrayal. You had held onto relationships before in your life and had only been hurt for it. So you hardened your heart, drawing strength from Eris embrace and set your shoulders.

"Thank you. I have to go back."

"You're going back to him?" Eris is understandably outraged, holding you a small distance away by your shoulders. He's barely been holding onto his temper for hours, planning misery and death for whoever hurt you. But you place your hands on his wrists soothingly.

"My life is in Velaris. I wont just run away." You hold his stare. Eris knows the look in your eyes. A slow smile forms on his lips. You are petty. You wont let Azriel off easy and disappear. No, you'd force him to look you in the eye and face what he did.

"Kick his ass properly or I'll have to." he says as a way of goodbye, kissing your hair and stepping back.

"I'll send you a letter with all the details." Your grin is still a little wrong, too heavy. But Eris eyes twinkle:"I'll hold you to that."

You step back into nightcourt territory and winnow to Verlaris.

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #acotar

[astromechs]

🖤 kissing while crying / goodbye kiss / desperation for jyn x cassian plssssss

a little follow-up/coda to this fic! we're recovering from whumptober, one happy ending at a time from this list; still accepting!

She's gone, they say. They've done all they could. The antidote was a shot in the dark, not a guarantee.

Intellectually, Cassian understands the words, and he numbly nods to acknowledge them without so much as glancing in the direction of the medical staff — but he doesn't hear them. Not really, because how can he actually hear something that can't be real?

Death has been a constant in his life, shadowing him, dealt by his own hands; he knows it better than he knows himself. And it's not Jyn. No, Jyn is a fire that never extinguishes, one that had sparked something in him that had long gone cold, and he's never encountered anyone more alive than her. She'd stare death in the face, give it an unwavering "Fuck off" before she'd ever let it take her.

No, the flat tone of the monitor has it wrong; she's just sleeping. Resting like she should be, regaining her strength, but at any second, she'll wake up, and her hand in his will be as warm as it always is. Watching the light fade from her eyes won't be the last time he ever sees them.

It'll be any second.

A hand grasps his arm, tries to tug, and he forcefully wrenches it away. Otherwise, he remains completely still; he'd promised, hadn't he? That he wouldn't go anywhere. That, no matter what, he wouldn't be another name among a long list of them to leave Jyn behind. She won't open her eyes again to an empty medbay room.

The monitor stops. Her hand is still cold; she's still not breathing.

It's as if some invisible hand is wrapping around his throat, choking him. His vision blurs. Well out of his control, tears fall, hot, onto his face.

This isn't real. It can't be real. It —

A hand squeezes his, warm. In the deafening silence of the room, a sharp intake of breath grabs his attention as effectively as the roar of a U-wing's engine would.

Green eyes stare up into his.

They're as pale as Jyn's face, shining with tears. She's still weak, barely just able to lift her head, but she's here. Alive, after he'd so nearly lost her.

He squeezes her hand in return, and leans in to press his lips to hers. It's shaky, clumsy, desperate — and it's everything.

When he pulls away, he doesn't have in him to go far. Reaching up to her face, gently wiping tears away with the pad of his thumb, he whispers, "You came back."

"Of course I did," she tells him like it's the most obvious thing in the galaxy, in a voice that's still hoarse, but gaining strength. A soft smile tugs at the corners of her mouth. "Did you think I'd ever leave you behind?"

#asks #oh nostalgiaa #rebelcaptain #kiss snippet meme #jyn erso #cassian andor

[mako-neexu]

i feel sickkkk i listened to the song so many times i lost track literally crying rn the way Beyond the Gray Sky talks about such simple peaceful and happy times- of the present and the past and then not even half of the song later, it smoothly delves into "goodbyes"

(i think the full hasnt been released internationally yet but i am so. sick and unwell whenever i hear it. what is this? hassan of the cutting onions stop hiding???)

i am just so sad....like the first half talks about eating together at the rooftop and laughing alongside eahc other just gives off the vibe that its all so fun. its all so sweet and amazing to be with you, whom i love. this current moment where we are beneath that blue sky. i and you who exist right at this extremely rare moment where we are together. and with you, i have that strength to head towards tomorrow. like.... this is the "normal life" that fujimaru ritsuka yearns for and is experiencing "in this moment"

ghhh 😭the second phase + 2nd chorus absolutely turned me to dust and tears...

because there are two ways to interpret that one. (for me, at least)

this refers to guda, who has been submerged countless times in those depths of despair but that "unchanging feeling" for their wish is what drives them to stand back up again and again and now, as their Avengers escort them onto that train towards the future, they plead and ask, they look at their very first Avenger with tears at the edges of their eyes and ask, "Please tell me that this journey will still continue." as that was the very last line of the song.

the second half could also be interpreted as a love letter, a farewell of the Avengers- of dantes' POV towards guda because he's said it time and time again!!! that his accomplice is a star and therefore is light -> and before i inevitably lose my "light", i must teach them the meaning of revenge. but that star will never be swallowed up by the darkness, shall never be tempted as the "feelings and thoughts" towards their heartfelt "wish" will remain forever unchanged. So "tell me that this journey will still continue (towards that which you yearn for)." As you, my star, my destiny, my accomplice must reach for that tomorrow you long for. You on this brilliant path must walk forward. And us, your Avengers, shall push your back one last time.

heart hurts i have too many feelings.... i have to go back to interpreation #1 because im still unwell if its a guda POV.....because-

"I know. I know full well there is no such thing as eternity. these times wont last forever but if you're guiding me to board this train towards the future," they bite their lower lip as they tighten their hold on Dantes's gloved hand, as they shakily grip at the steel rail of the train's entrance door and hot tears cascade down their cheeks, they ask, with their voice cracking as they look back at him and their Avengers, these people that they love, pushing their back forward with a happy goodbye because they also loved them in return, and were doing this because they cared about guda so much, they ask with a plea, "At least tell me that this journey will continue."

("Because if this continues, then I'll see you again. I'll be able to see you again for as long as this continues... I'll be able to meet you one way or another- as this is not a final farewell. So please reassure me... that it will continue.")

("But I know there is no such thing as 'forever', but despite that, I still want to hope. I'll wait and hope for as long as I have to just to meet you and see you again. Just tell me, please tell me-")

arghhhhh still, this entire chapter also reminded us of that inevitable final "farewell" on FGO like....there are definitely times i hated this game but i loved it just as much..........

also, the way momoka (singer for this song) sings "even i know there's no such thing as eternity" (to these happy times/joyful memories of being together) just............................ im just so sad.....😭....... the way she conveyed it with such pain with that feeling of "of course- of course, i know that-! but even so. please. please, even so-" in her tone.........like guda's/the avengers' or dantes' feelings are just killing me i can feel myself really die inside from sadness 😭

and the feeling of the song as i mentioned previously is uplifting yet so sad... both the chorus give that feeling of "moving forward" with light and bright steps and it feels happy in the first one but in the last chorus, it felt like a "graduation song" and the overall song's feelings give it a vibe of "wishing 'you' good luck, filled with hope".....

and in the full CM: dantes speaks his famed line of "Attendre et Esperer", an answer to the song which becomes a song where "the Avengers give you one final push"

#fgo #fate grand order

[blackjackkent]

(Jarringly, if you go straight to a long rest from Gortash, the game forgets about all the Karlach drama and she's all like "HEY! ^_^" when you go to chat with her, but then the next morning she has an exclamation mark over her head and is plot-appropriately sad again. As I mentioned in that drabble earlier, I'm just leaning into this and deciding that Karlach basically didn't come back to camp all night, wandering around the city and finding someone private to cry/process/scream at the sky. Hector, meanwhile, lies alone in their tent and has an incredibly unsettling interaction with the Emperor and his own meltdown.

So we will say this is the next morning, with a slight tweak to Karlach's opening line to reflect this.)

"Hey, Soldier. I'm back..."

The sun has barely crested the horizon when Karlach comes wandering back into camp. Hector is the only one awake, having given up on trying to get any rest an hour or so earlier; he's sitting next to the campfire with a mug of tea and staring into the flames; the raw emotion of the night before has faded and he's conscious only of a sort of empty hollow feeling in his chest.

But empty as he feels, the warmth that floods him at hearing her voice is unchanged. He looks up with an involuntary slight smile, meeting her gaze in the morning half-light, though his eyes still hold something of the haunted look that he's had for the last two days.

"I've been worried about you," he says, and his voice is ragged but steady. "Are you all right?"

She smiles slightly and walks over to sit down next to him, putting a hand gently on his knee. "Yeah," she answers. "Despite my best efforts." She manages a soft laugh; it's shaky but sends light through him anyway. "I kept trying to flop over and give up, but Karlach just wouldn't let me."

He feels a little tug of a smile at his lips in response. She really is the strongest person he's ever known by far - even when everything feels so terribly dark, even when she is so beaten down that it seems impossible to rise, she is still always looking for something to smile about, something to hope for. Even when the world hasn't deserved her good opinion of it.

He puts his hand over hers, and she shifts to interlace their fingers together; he feels the familiar steady pulse of heat through her palm and it soothes him a little in spite of all the things it implies. "Did I miss anything important?" she asks softly.

He shrugs. He wants to tell her about the Absolute's scream in his brain, about the Emperor's taunting in the Astral Plane... but what good would it do? It changes nothing and would just make her feel worse. "Not really..." he says quietly. "But I missed you." He lifts her hand and presses his lips against her knuckles.

"I missed you too." A long pause. She looks at their interlaced hands against his mouth, and her throat convulses around a sharp swallow. "You know, I wouldn't have bothered falling in love with you... if I'd known saying goodbye would be so hard." She tries to laugh but it doesn't quite come out.

He looks back into the fire, lets out a heavy breath. He knows the right thing to do would be to joke back, to show her that he is being strong, that he is ready to play this the way she wants to, no matter the cost. But he doesn't quite have the strength in him just now. "I know what you mean," he says softly. The tears are gone; he won't break, he won't cry. But the words are as empty as he feels. "I'm scared of you leaving me behind..."

She gives a sharp shake of her head, and her grip on his hand tightens abruptly. "I don't want to leave you behind," she whispers. "Not ever." A long pause. Her eyes close, squeezing out reality for a moment. "If I had my choice, we'd do it all together. Life - a long life. And then we'd slip away one night... side by side... wrinkled and grey, warm in our bed..."

The ache that rises in his chest at this mental image is almost more than he can take. He tries to take a deep breath and feels it catch in his throat. Gods... I would do anything... anything to wake up next to you for the rest of my life...

"But that's not in the stars for us, my love..." She leans sideways against him, rolls her head so her face is pressed into his neck. "Ours is a short story with a few good twists... and a banger of an ending..."

He wraps his arm around her shoulders, pulls her fiercely against his side. "Karlach..." He hesitates. He knows the answer already, before he even asks it... but he can't help himself, one last try... "Would you ever consider going back to Avernus? Just for a while, just to buy yourself more time?"

He knows why she won't say yes. He knows, even, why it's right that she not say yes. But he has to ask... just one more time...

"No," she says at once, muffled into his neck. "I can't. I'd rather die here in Faerun -- my home -- than live in service to a devil."

He nods slowly, his cheek rubbing against the top of her head. "I understand," he mutters. And he does. He wishes he didn't; he wishes he were a more selfish man, who could demand she think about him and not herself. "I just... wish there was another way..."

"So do I," she mutters. "I've done the calculus a hundred times. There's no permutation I can find that doesn't end in me dead, or wishing for death..." Her arm slips around his waist, her fingertips dusting over his hip, his arm, his upper thigh. "This is it. This is all we have. Each other, and all the moments we have left..."

He says nothing, but turns his head to press a gentle kiss into her hair. For a long few moments they sit in silence, while the sun slowly rises over the camp.

After a while, Karlach stirs and speaks again. "Speaking of which... there's something I wanted to ask you..."

He grunts softly, questioningly.

"Will you stay with me? When it's time. For me to go..." Her voice is suddenly thick, hoarse with emotion. "I think I can do anything if you're there. Even die..."

His heart twists in his chest with the stab of grief that goes through him, somehow fresher than it has ever been. He squeezes his eyes shut and his arm tightens around her, crushing her into his side.

He wants to run, to run far away from all of this, from everything she is making him feel. It's not admirable, it's in fact horribly unfair. But nothing in his life has ever prepared him for what she is asking him for now...

Gods, what if I am not strong enough?

But what can he say, other than yes? How can he be anywhere but at her side, right to the very end?

"Of course, my love..." he whispers. "Of course..."

She draws an unsteady breath, lets it out heavily. He can feel some of the tension go out of her as she sags into his side. "Thank you..." she says softly.

A long pause that seems to hang heavy with all the feelings they have no words for.

When she finally speaks again, her tone is lighter, though he can hear the effort behind it. "Now. Enough tragedy. I'm not gone yet. And our schedule is packed with important heroics, isn't it?" She laughs shakily. "Plus, if I cry any more, I'm going to run out of tears and start leaking motor oil."

She sits up, not pulling from his embrace but turning in it a little so that she can cup her palm against his cheek and kiss him-- soft, slow, lingering. "Thanks for everything, darling," she mumurs, and rests her forehead against his. "I love you. A lot."

#bjk plays baldur's gate 3 #hector carlisle #y'all this weekend was supposed to be time for me to decompress from the househunting #but instead i just obliterated myself repeatedly and now i am a giant pile of sad feels :( #hector is so sad and tired and i'm just #i want them to be happy :(

[rphelperblog]

Beth Revis Quote Rp Meme

A new york times best selling author who is most famous for her Across the Universe Trilogy- please feel free to edit or change pronouns for rp purposes

“I never thought about how important the sky was until I didn't have one.”

“You never know. Something small and broken really can be powerful.”

“Is almost a good enough reason for fear ?”

“I will do anything to make her happy again, so I give her the stars.”

“A leader isn't someone who forces others to make him stronger; a leader is someone willing to give him strength to others so that they may have the strength to stand on their own.”

“Science can make a heart beat,but it can’t make it race.”

“Love without choice isn't love at all.”

“But there's a difference, isn't there? Between saying goodbye and death.”

“What if eternity is nothing more than me, alone, in the darkness?”

“When you wake up, your face will be dry. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t cry.”

“They'll never truly be able to comprehend how much was lost for their limitless sky.”

“We can fight, and we can disagree, but I'm never going to let you walk away from me thinking I don't love you.”

“If it's a matter of dying here or dying there, I think I'd like to at least see the world first.”

“Don't you see? Those monsters you've been so worried about. Not aliens. People. The monsters have always been people.”

“What matters right now is this: we're each of us standing here, together, alive, together.”

“It’s not selfish to be yourself and pursue your dreams.”

“I want her so much that it overrides everything else, every other thought in my head, every instinct, every restraint.”

“And I know what I told my father was true: let us taste the world, and we’ll do whatever it takes to shape it into our home.”

“This ship is built on secrets; it runs on secrets”

“So you’re sticking with me, and I’m sticking with you.”

“I’m sorry.’ The two most inadequate words in the English language.”

“A leader doesn't make pawns - he makes people.”

And there is nothing between us but rain.

Then there is nothing between us at all.”

“Choice or no, my heart is his.”

“I would trade all the stars in the universe if I could just have him back again.”

“But i don't care. Because we can say them or not; it doesn't matter. What is in our heats is real whether we name it or let it exist only in darkness and silence.”

“Even when you're silent, even when you block out all noise, your body is still a cacophony of life.”

“Because I can think of no better way to meet a girl than to see her through the eyes of the story she loves best.”

“It's bad, being frozen, but it's better than waking up alone.”

“Who are the real monsters?”

“It wasn't that he called me a freak. It was the way he said it. Like he really meant it. Like he believed it.”

“He's the only stable thing in the swirling chaos.”

“And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.”

“This is the secret of the stars. In the end, we are alone. No matter how close you seem, no one else can touch you.”

“Well, sometimes home is a person.”

Dreams are like that: they go in and out of memories and scenes, but they're never real. They're never real, and I hate them because they aren't.”

“My heart stutters—not why? or how?—those are not the important questions. The really important question is: by whom?”

“You gonna fight for something, you fight for something that you're willing to die for.”

“But of course these are scientists. Tell them to leave something alone, and all they want to do is poke it with a stick.”

“I've never seen the stars before.And I never knew they were so beautiful.”

“But, really, grief left a hole in you, and while you healed around the hole, you never didn't have it. A piece of you was gone. You couldn't heal something that wasn't there.”

“Maybe the secret of the stars has nothing to do with being alone.”

“But...If my life on Earth must end, let it end with a promise.

Let it end with hope.”

“It's not knowing that's killing me. Not knowing if there's a chance that something can change, not knowing if there's hope at all.”

“There is only him and me and this thing between us that I cannot name, not out loud, but that my heart knows is love.”

“I can think of no better way to meet a girl than to see her through the eyes of the story she loves best.”

“It is like a piece of my soul had been lost, empty, and it is now filled with the light of a million stars.”

“But death doesn't work like that. It doesn't care if someone loves you, doesn't want you to go. It just takes. It takes and it takes until eventually you have nothing left.”

“I want to take her into my arms and hold her tight. But at the same time, I know that is the exact opposite of what she wants. She wants to be free, and all I want is to hold her tight against me.”

“More than the sound of my own beating heart, I miss the sound of a ticking clock. Time passes. It must pass....”

“I feel alone.”

“I have the whole world now, but I don't have him.”

“Sometimes home is a person.”

“You could have valued our lives more than your secrets.”

“That is what a book is: a million little things, a thousand feelings, hundreds of experiences, all melted together and sculpted into a book-shaped vessel.”

“If we don't have that, what do we have to live for? Does it matter if it's a lie if it keeps us alive?”

“She was a good person. She didn’t deserve to die.”

“The sea is a dangerous place because it makes you believe in forever.”

“Memories always kill nightmares.”

“I cannot imagine a more perfect hell than being trapped inside my own mind.”

I don't mean i feel lonely; I mean i feel alone, the same way i feel the blanket resting on my body, or the feathers of my pillow under my head, or the tight string of my sleep pants twisted up around my waist. I feel alone as if it were an actual thing, seeping throughout this whole level like mist blanketing a field, reaching into all the hidden corners of my room and finding nothing living but me. It's a cold sort of feeling, this.”

“Sorry? Sorry? Sorry isn't enough. Every. Single. Thing. I ever loved is beyond my reach now. Everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever was.”

“Power isn’t control at all — power is strength, and giving that strength to others. A leader isn’t someone who forces others to make him stronger; a leader is someone willing to give his strength to others that they may have the strength to stand on their own.”

“Old people die. It's what they do. “

“If I can only see him in madness, is it worth trying to hold onto sanity?”

“You must dedicate your whole life to this idea: you are the caretaker of every single person on this ship. They are your responsibility.

You can never show weakness in front of them: you are their strength.

You can never let them see you in despair: you are their hope.

You must always be everything to everyone on board.”

“This is the secret of the stars. In the end, we are alone no matter how close you seem, no one else can touch you. Maybe the secret of the stars has nothing to do with being alone.”

“You never know all of a person; you only know them in a specific moment of time.”

“Even though I know the rain is fake, it feels the same as real rain, and I desperately need that.”

“I can't be the kind of leader you want me to,I will never, ever be the kind of leader you want me to be. And I will be better because of it.”

#open to all #open to anyone #ask meme #open rp #open meme #rp meme #open to anybody #roleplay meme #ask prompt #memes #book quote meme #booktube #book rp meme #book rp #beth revis

[philly-interlude]

[8:30 PM]

"mademoiselle" jaemin waggishly welcomed you to his apartment and you went in after pecking him on the cheek with a smile, "monsieur" you, too, replied with a dramatic posh voice.

you looked around, his apartment doesn't seem like a common apartment actually. it seems so luxurious like those of your father's despite you growing up from the richest family in south korea. jaemin didn't tell you about this, it was your first time going to his home.

"sit down love" he offered, his voice soft and loving. "where are you going jaem?" you asked, your smile still didn't let go from your excitement of finally having to sit in a very much too soft sofa in his living room. "i'll prepare something for us to eat" he replied and tousled your hair making you whine.

but that was it. behind the beautifully made espresso, there lied the bittersweet.

your eyes saw rainbows, but in black and white, your heart pumps, but the feeling are one-winged butterflies. your body was throbbing of excruciating pain from the torture by you once thought your beautiful love.

jaemin held you by the collar of your wrinkled, dirt-covered blouse and seethed through his teeth clenching it from his anger towards you and your family. "you think i liked you? well guess what doll, it's a-" he halted, not knowing why but continued it nonetheless "hm. it's a prank" a bile started to grow on his throat, he hates it.

he twirled the dagger on his hand still holding your weakened body up with one hand whilst glaring his second dagger filled with fire at you with a somewhat...doubtful mind. but then again, he's the na jaemin, known to be a merciless assassin.

"i think it's time for you to say goodbye, love" he mocked the endearment with his sinister smirk and was about to stab the glistening sharpened dagger on you, however, you let out a small hum stopping him mid-air.

you smiled weakly at him, the smile he admitted once that he misses everytime you aren't around. warm tears fall out from your almost closing eyes, he used to hate seeing you cry,you used to be a weakness of him, but guess what, not anymore, he thought.

"i'm very happy" you whispered and raised your weak hands to take ahold of his naturally bruised cheeks, he forced himself not to feel your hands, hands that are way colder than the likes of dead people he threw away.

nevertheless, jaemin didn't hesitate to stab directly into your heart where he belonged. your hands slowly slipped from his cheeks, leaving a trail of your personal warmth as your breath slowly pulled away from your lungs.

suddenly, his phone rang indicating someone is calling, he didn't read the caller's name and placed it on his ears, his other hand still holding you with his strength.

"jaemin, i got an evidence about your parent's killer-" it was jeno with his plain voice. jaemin coldly answered, "she's already finished", he was about to drop it off when jeno reacted, unusual.

"j- no..." on the other line, jeno's heart seemed to stop, his eyes wide open and his jaw fell slack from disbelief, "what jeno?" impatiently jaemin furrowed his brows.

the papers on jeno's hold was crumpled as it fell off the floor, "y/n...it proved here that she is innocent, sh-she actually doesn't know about her parent's dark business, jaem-"

beep

he didn't want to believe it, yet it was the truth that masked you, and what happened was the lie that completed you both. he fell on his knees, a lone tear escaped his eyes that were filled of void, eyes that filled regrets, anger, sadness, loneliness, and especially...the wretched peace of your visage.

jaemin held your face close to his with both of his sinful bloody hands, looking closely at your closed eyes, your pretty nose, your soft lips that turned purple as the blood of yours had stopped its flow. he didn't know that he could still shed a tear because all he remembered was that he couldn't since the beginning.

kissing you full of passion, a language for him to say how sorry he is, jaemin whispered on your unhearing ears, "i...i love you too, i love you more, i love you much more, i love you the most, i love you everyday, everywhere, everytime, i...-" he sobbed hard, punching the wall in the proccess.

he realized, he loves you more than you could ever imagine. and so are regretting.

"i wish everything was different"

#na jaemin #jaemin angst #assassin!jaemin #jaemin x reader #nct dream jaemin angst #nct jaemin angst #nct dream jaemin #nct jaemin #nct timestamps #nct dream timestamps #tbh i don't know where this one went #this is poop i swear #a lot of mistakes and probably could be misunderstood #i hate myself

[anonymous-tals]

THE DARKNESS FROM CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND IS SUCH A GOB SONG, OH MY GOD.

How did it take me this long to realize that??? It’s literally on my Gob playlist but somehow I didn’t process how perfect it is.

The Darkness:

In my life I've had so many men

But there's one I come back to again and again

We've been on and off for such a long time

And now he's back and I'm feeling oh so fine

He's the darkness

My first love, my true love

The darkness

He knows me better than anyone

He holds me close and whispers things that I don't want to hear

When I feel the butterflies of dread, I know the darkness is near

It’s, like, a perfect match to The Sound of Silence and how it’s utilized in the show. They literally both talk about darkness!

The Sound of Silence:

Hello darkness, my old friend

I've come to talk with you again

AND THEN, AND THEN, it gets even better.

The Darkness:

For so many years I've used the darkness to feel

But now there are things in my life that are actually real

I gotta make a choice, darlin' don't ask me why

So will I have the strength to tell the darkness

To tell Tyler Darkness

Goodbye?

(For context, she names the darkness Tyler(he plays drums and he wears guyliner))

THIS IS GOB WHEN HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH TONY.

Literally, Gob says, “Hello darkness, sorry, I’m taken.”

Actively exploding right now. /pos

The song very much so feels like what Gob would sing in season five, when Gob is at a point where he can’t deny anymore that he’s gay and that he loves Tony Wonder and the darkness is calling his name, telling him to come back, to hide again, to wallow in self hatred, and he’s struggling against it all throughout the season. He’s realized that, to quote the song, “there are things in [his] life that are actually real.” Tony makes him happy, being able to finally, actually be himself and be with a man makes him happy. And it’s hard cause he’s not sure he’ll have “the strength to tell the darkness…goodbye,” but he knows he has to make a choice(darlin’ don’t ask him why) and he chooses to tentatively continue things with Tony and AHHHHH, he told the darkness goodbye, HE TOLD THE DARKNESS HE’S TAKENNNNN.

Every day I cry./pos

Anyway, here are a couple other CXG songs that are literally Gob, because idk I feel like sharing:

I Could If I Wanted To

This song would, like, be in the future when Gob gets mental health help cause he’d definitely be like, “Pshh, I’m fine” about it:

Anti-Depressants Are So Not A Big Deal

And this is a Michael and Gob song that would take place post-season five and Gob living happily ever after with Tony, Michael’s the one singing:

I’ve Always Never Believed In You

Again, thank you, @kaitcake1289 , for showing me this show. The course of my life has been changed forever.

#gob bluth rebecca bunch coded moment #gob bluth #will arnett #tony wonder #ben stiller #blunder #arrested development #another day another arrested development essay written #crazy ex girlfriend

[blueflyingturtleontheway]

@savvyzelda for Morgaine and Gramorr from Lolirock

Gramorr stopped by the corner of the bookshelf and hesitated for a moment. Was that... crying? He scowled. He didn't have the time to deal with some "poor, heartbroken soul" right now, he had to find his book before anyone else recognizes it belongs to him... Then again, something about this crying made his gut tighten.

He sighed, and finally walked out of the aisle.

"Morgaine...?" He asked, barely believing his eyes.

But there she was - his best friend, absolutely broken down, sobbing on the library floor.

"Morgaine! What happened? Did someone hurt you?!" He fell to the floor and reached to push her hair from her face. He could feel his blood rush in his vains. When he gets his hands on whoever hurt her... "Morgaine, who did this to you? Just tell me and I'll take care of it..." His voice trailed off when his gaze fell on the book she was clutching in her arms.

He knew this book. It was his book. His book of dark spells.

"Please, tell me why." Morgaine finally looked up at him. Her eyes were red and her teeth clenched and when he met her gaze, it was as if a sharp claw clenched on his heart. But it wasn't pain that showed on his face.

He immediately drew back and turned away. He felt himself scowl.

"I should've seen it coming," his voice sounded so sharp, it made Morgaine flinch. "Of course you'd side with them."

Morgaine stared at him.

"What side? What- Gramorr what are you even talking about?! Please just-" her voice broke. "Just tell me what's going on? What's wrong? You know I won't tell anyone, we can just get rid of this thing and no one..."

"No!" Gramorr practically roared and ripped the book out of her hands, with a strength he wouldn't even suspect himself of.

Morgaine fell back and for a moment they both stared at each other with wide eyes.

Gramorr hugged the book closer to himself and his brows fell over his eyes in a look of resentment. He found his book and didn't even think of coming with it to him. First she evades him for months and now she tries to play the good friend again and treat him as some kind of traitor? He was right, she wouldn't understand.

The pang in his chest once again disappeared under his anger.

"That's right, you won't tell anyone," his voice was quiet, but it was overflowing with hatred. "You will just forget that you ever saw this book. We'll just go our separate ways and you'll leave me alone."

"Gramorr..." Morgaine started, but he cut her off.

"I don't want to even see you again! Just disappear like you do best - I'm sure the king and queen need you more than I do." He took a deep breath and his face once again fell into an unfeeling mask.

"Goodbye, Morgaine." He turned around and walked away.

"Gramorr... Gramorr!" She was yelling after him.

He pushed the book closer to his chest, and slammed the door behind himself to cut off her voice.

Oh Gramorr is going Through It™ I hope I managed to convey that he's being corrupted by some evil influence that makes him misinterpret every slightly unpleasant thing that happens to him as a direct and intentional attack (the amount of headcanons I had to put here. What even is canon of this show anymore.)

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it!

Prompt lists

#my post #savvyzelda #lolirock #lolirock morgaine #lolirock gramorr #morgaine lolirock #gramorr lolirock #morgaine #gramorr #mormorr #blue's writing requests #blue's writing #today is another day of celebration so a perfect day to finish off the prompts!

[obscure-imaginations]

Janos Audron relationship alphabet (by @the-coldest-goodbye ). SFW, cut for space.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Janos is quite affectionate. His love languages are PDA and acts of service, so he uses both to shower you in love. He loves giving hugs and forehead kisses. He likes when you pet his wings and his hair, in return.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Janos is a great best friend! He's an amazing listener, is extraordinarily kind, and will drop whatever he's doing if you need him. Friendship with Janos would begin with a common interest- such as literature, art appreciation, crocheting, or baking. It grows quickly from there.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Janos adores cuddles. He will wrap his wings around the both of you. His favorite position is you in his lap, laying on his chest, while he does an activity with his hands (most likely he abandons it to pet your head and back).

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Janos wants nothing more than to forget prophecies and Nosgoth's troubles to settle down. He'd happily be a house husband, wearing a frilly apron while he cooks and cleans.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Janos, despite what you might think, is horrible at words when it comes to these things. Comforting someone from a break-up? Easy, no problem? But doing it himself? He'll probably act like everything's fine until either they break up with him or he reaches his limit. One can tell by noticing how distant he is- both with the partner and with life itself. Depending on the situation, the partner might just wake up and he'll be gone, no trace of him at all.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Janos, if he finds a person he feels good enough to be in a romantic relationship in, is committed. After a few years (or decades, vampires tend to lose track of time), you've most likely gotten his trust, and more. So when you get to that point, you're practically already married. If you want things to be official, he'll gladly get you a ring. He's anxious about wedding planning and would want it quickly- just have Vorador arrange everything and he'll be happy.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Janos is the definition of gentle. He is quite aware of his strength and makes sure to use a gentle touch for everything- don't want to break something! He is also emotionally gentle, and sometimes sensitive. He won't be killing any spiders, he lets them outside. He might just cry if you kill one.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Hugs are second nature to Janos. To those that accept hugs, he practically is hanging onto them all the time (just ask Vorador and Raziel). His hugs are warm and loving, like hugging a giant teddy bear.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It takes Janos a bit to say it. He more proves it with his actions. Making sure you're fed, wrapping you in blankets when you shiver, and most of all, baking things for you. I hope you have a sweet tooth!

After a while, he will make a romantic night suited for him to say it the first time. He pulls out all the stops- homemade meal, candle lit dinner, the works. He can be pretty intense about the affair- where do you think Vorador got his dramatics from?

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Janos isn't the jealous type. If you're in a relationship with him, he trusts you. But you have jealousy issues, he will do whatever he can to help you through them. He only has eyes for you.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Janos adores forehead kisses, both giving and receiving. He'll flush dark blue when getting them, though. Mouth kisses are also his favorite. His lips are soft, and he is very gentle when kissing. He's good at tongue kisses too (wink).

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Janos adores children! He misses his own children, from before the war with the Hylden. He wishes he could still reproduce, to have more. But alas, he cannot. If you two decide to adopt, he'll be over the moon. He'll happily give them the dark gift when they're of age, if they want it.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Even before the Hylden curses, vampires were nocturnal creatures. However, being one of the vampires before the curses, Janos doesn't suffer any affects from the sun like the other vampires. At most, it hurts his eyes. He's usually tucking the two of you into bed at that point, maybe some canoodling if you're up for it.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

He has an impressive library that he regularly lounges in, with his adorable reading glasses. Janos loves reading to you. If you're the crafty type, he loves doing any those activities with you. He's an avid crocheter with enough pieces to clothe all of vampire kind (but why would they want that?).

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Janos is an open book to everyone. He would keep some things to himself for a while, and others wouldn't be uttered until you two were practically married. The things he keeps to himself for a while are experiences from the war- making the Reaver, fighting the Hylden, painting murals in the Vampire Cathedrals. The other things? Watching his friends and family die to the Hylden or by their own hands. He really needs to work through his trauma.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Janos is extraordinarily patient. He has to be, with how long he's been alive. There is one thing that easily angers him, though- insulting or outright threatening his loved ones. That's an easy way to make his eyes turn dark and his fangs appear a lot sharper.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Janos either remembers every word you've ever said or forgets something you've said a hundred times, no in between. It depends on his headspace. Don't talk to him about important things when he's focusing on something. If you sit down and his attention is on you, he'll remember everything. He always remembers important things, somehow- birthdays, anniversaries, the exact date you adopted a pet a hundred years ago.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Janos' favorite moments are your first kiss- that's when he knew he was in for life, and he wasn't afraid of it, and he has no regrets about it. It was magical, the way he cradled your head in his hands and gently pressed his lips to yours. That's also the first time he said he loves you, and you said it back.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Between the Sarafan and any other vampires looking to advance their position, Janos has to be protective. He has many magic protections in his home and will only add more with you in his life. He knows you can hold your own, but it's better safe than sorry. He'd be destroyed if something happened to you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Janos' effort for the important things is admirable. He makes dates and anniversaries of the upmost importance. He is amazing with his gifts, though for non-important days they're often little trinkets that you still enjoy. For every day tasks... well, I already spoke of his domesticity.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

When he gets involved in an activity, he tends to go into his own little world and it can be hard to shake him out of it. He doesn't like ignoring you, even on accident. He also has a tendency to leave doors open- cabinets, windows, and shutters have all fallen victim to him.

Emotionally, he bottles things up. He'll go around with a smile even if he feels like complete garbage.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Janos isn't prideful. He likes his body and that's enough for him. But, he does like his salt-and-pepper hair and his amazing chest. We've all seen that he doesn't care for wearing shirts.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Oh, yes. Once you become a part of his routine, it's hard to fill that void when you're gone- even if it's only for the night. If you're gone for good, though... well, that's another fragment of his soul that's gone.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

His chocolate chip cookies are godlike. You'll never quite be able to replicate his recipe, no matter how hard you try- and trust me, Vorador has tried many times. Some might call it old vampire magic, but Janos jokes about love being the secret ingredient.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He hates killing things, no matter how small. He does understand things like arachnophobia, and won't fault you for killing bugs. But if you're like some other vampires, killing for fun, you won't last long with him. Everything on the Wheel is precious to him, from a baby bunny to a giant bear.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He tries his hardest to not snore, though occasionally one will come through- it's always small and cute, never disruptive. He treats you like a stuffed animal and will wrap his entire body around you, wings and all. He makes a blanket nest but doesn't hog them. He's always groggy for a little while after waking up. He dreams often, and occasional nightmares come through. If he's conked out, he might even sleep talk- you can have a decent conversation with him almost like he's awake, but the dream weirdness still leaks into it. Such as him asking you to make sure the table is set for the guests.

"What guests?" you ask.

"The foxes, remember? They're coming for tea!"

#legacy of kain #legacy of kain imagine #legacy of kain x reader #janos audron #janos audron x reader #lok janos audron #lok janos #soul reaver #blood omen

[caxycreations]

We had everything we could have wanted.

Home to call ours, and the space and freedom to be who we truly were together.

Animals, pets, dogs and a bird, to love and be loved by, to care for and be cared for by, to provide for like children who loved us unconditionally as parents.

Time enough for play despite the work, and the money consistent and reliable enough to do as we please, which was enough given we only wanted each other.

Did it mean so little to you? Our life together? Our future together?

I still remember the nights before we shared a bed when you would stay awake for hours past bedtime just to be sure I had fallen asleep feeling safe.

Don't you think those nights meant more to me than the physical act of it, that I might have found a deeper love for you each time you sacrificed yourself for me, that I might have found greater reason to devote myself to your happiness and your health with each night?

I'm not perfect, but I was yours. I was yours and proud to be and you seemed so proud of me too. You would introduce me as your boyfriend, your beloved, your mate, with a smile on your face with rose-tinted cheeks and a gleeful sparkle in your eyes.

Maybe I only saw those things because I wanted them to be true but I wasn't the only one who saw it, others did too, and I fear you deceived them as readily as you deceived me.

Everything that we did together, the nights spent crying because we missed each other so deeply from eight hundred miles away, the days we never left each other's thoughts because we couldn't stand the idea of being apart.

All of the nights in virtual worlds where you would sing to me your love and praise my qualities I needed assurance in, the times when we were not allowed to be together, not allowed to speak to one another, and it tore our hearts apart just to say goodbye, and you begged me with pleading, shaking voice and tears in your eyes to stay strong, to keep my head up, words I now only hear in your voice, telling me to keep my pretty eyes open so that the whole world can see my strength, my pride.

Now those words are poison, they are venom the darkness uses to remind me of your deception and lies. Those words come to me in my weakest moments, and I recall more of what you said. Words scorching into my heart like a brand, telling me you hadn't loved me for weeks, that I was not worth your heart and that you couldn't pretend or lie to me anymore.

Thinking back, what was the lie? Was it that you had loved me the last few weeks, lying to hide the fact you didn't? Or was it that you hadn't loved me, lying to hide the fact you did?

On with your life, right? You needed me to hate you so you could move on easier, pretend with simple resignation that my love for you went out and burned colder and colder until it became an inferno of hatred.

You didn't count on the possibility that I might just be incapable of hating you. It didn't occur to you that my heart did not know hate, and could never know hate, because no matter the slight or the pain, there was always joy to be remembered.

Of course you wouldn't expect that. How could you? Everyone you had spurned before me hated you with all they had when you were done. They had abandoned your life like it was a sinking ship. Maybe that's exactly what it is.

Under no circumstances could I ever truly hate you. I was hurt. I was broken, and shattered, and only recently have the pieces been put together in any semblance of who I was. Many aided me in replacing my broken parts, many gave from their own hearts and souls to patch the holes in mine.

I'll never forget what they have done for me, nor will I ever forget what you did to me. It will last with me until the end, and when I am old, and grey, and dying of age your name will still be carved into my heart, scarred and faded, for the way you treated me before you decided I was no longer worthy.

Funny then, isn't it, that your name is also the simplest way to drive me to tears, and pain, and fear. Your voice drives into my skull like a spike, lobotomizing me and leaving me a husk of who I am until someone reminds me of where I am, who I am, what I am.

Now that you are no longer in my life you have greater hold over it than ever, your memory enough to drive me to agony of the highest caliber, like the coals of hell being driven into my back by smiling demons bearing your face.

Only this does not make me hate you. I could never hate you. I do not hate you. To hate you would give you a greater power over me than any love and loss could ever hope to have. To hate you would grant you license to pervade my day each and every time I witness any reminder of you.

The color blue. Yellow eyes, or blue eyes. Brown hair. Beards. Songs that I find myself listening to far too often. The entire planet in all it's beauty would remind me of you simply for the fact that I saw the whole world within your heart.

Everything this world has to offer could bring me to me knees in tears and misery were I to hate you. And I dare not do that. For aside from you, this world is beauty incarnate. And I refuse to allow anyone to ruin it for me. Not even you.

Very rarely do I find myself thinking of you. But when I do it isn't anger I feel. It's remorse. Regret. I was warned of you, I was told to run while I could. But you were so kind, so caring. You were everything I needed, everything I had been craving. You were perfect.

Ending our relationship was the best thing that could have been done, and while you may claim the power of having been the one to call it off, I had the most to gain. I have gained an understanding of love you will never know. I have gained a knowledge of myself you will never experience.

Revenge felt appropriate, and so I chose the sweetest revenge of them all. I chose the revenge that would take the greatest power from you, deliver unto you the greatest dissatisfaction.

You will never know how powerful your blow to my heart made me. And that is okay. Because the revenge I chose was to survive. To live, grow, and heal. The revenge I chose was to make a life of my own somewhere someday, free of you and your influence, devoted to none but myself and those who stood by my journey from the first day.

This is my oath to you. My final promise, my last devotion dedicated to you. This is for the love you gave me, the kisses we shared, the kindness and patience and care you provided. This promise is dedicated to the man I fell in love with, and this oath is made on the grave of the love we shared which burned so bright and so hot the stars themselves went out in shame.

Heaven was never your arms, nor your home, nor your eyes. It was the love between us and the fire in our chests when we thought of one another.

I will never forget those things. I will never forget the days when we were happy together. And it is in honor of that memory that I make this promise.

Nothing in this world will stop me from finding my happiness, from seeking my destined peace, from creating a life of joy and freedom for myself. That is my promise to you, to the memory of you, which I have burned the shadows away from until only our smiles remained.

Goodbye. I loved you. And I am sorry that was not enough for you.

#writing #vent

[glagger-true]

Howdy dear reader! I'm your host Glagger, and today I bring you the ninth post of Password VN medal analysis series.

Much like its predecessors, this post SPOILERS FOR THE NOVEL. So please, if you haven't read the novel yet, and don't want to be spoiled, leave for now.

Scorpio, the medal of "Evil", Purpose and Honesty:

Scorpio is given to Dave in the hedge-maze by Roswell, on the final day of path A. Dave finds Roswell in the middle of the hedge-maze and, in most routes, he's on the verge of death, giving an envelope containing the medal and a letter to Dave after the hyena gives him Thanatos' body. In Roswell's route however, Dave finds him already dead and picks up the envelope to read the letter after he sets Thanatos next to the boar.

The letter contains the final words of Roswell, as well as an extensive apology in which he explains the reasons behind all the bad things he did, and why he broke the medicine inside the vault. He reassures Dave he's happy and has no regrets, despite knowing he would die in the end, satisfied in doing what was right from his perspective in the warped situation they got stuck in. He also confesses that the main thing comforting him in the end is the fact that he'll get to meet Dave again in the next universe, admitting he is scared of dying, now that he's at the end. Roswell also asks Dave to tell Flora he loves her if he dies before getting the chance to do it himself.

In Roswell's route, the letter has an extra passage, where he apologizes for leaving Dave so soon, telling him how he laid awake at night thinking about him as a child until his innocent crush turned to love. The boar confesses that his affection might have played a role in how much he wished to protect Dave, and that deep down, part of him hoped Dave would do the same for him even if it was impossible. He concludes the letter by thanking Dave for being his friend and also so much more than he thought possible, stating how bittersweet it is that everytime he thinks of Dave their time grows shorter since the hyena makes his heart beat faster, ending the passage with a goodbye and an I love you. Once the reading ends, a near-crying Dave realizes the medal is inside the envelope as well.

In astrology, Scorpio is categorized as the negative fixed water sign of the zodiac. The strengths of Scorpio are psychic and emotional, making them a strongly intuitive sign with strong psychic powers. Being highly emotional and secretive, Scorpio is a very suspicious sign that hates both revealing its secrets and the dishonesty of others. They can be very manipulative both to defend themselves and to search for the truth. Followers of astrology often misunderstand Scorpio as an evil sign, since it's associated with negative traits such as jealousy, competitiveness, tactlessness, dark sexual desires and an inclination towards the occult.

Astrologers believe that people born under Scorpio are persistent to the point they become borderline obsessive, which, combined with their intellect, can ensure they accomplish even the most impossible objectives. They are guarded and secretive, never revealing their true goals and objectives until they acheive them. Strategic and patient, their hidden agendas are very unpredictable since they are always plotting, manipulating and orchestrating, having no trouble in playing long games to get what they wish. Scorpios become fiercely loyal and protective when they love someone, unrivaled in empathy, commitment and devotion when they build trust with their loved ones. They will do everything in their power to keep their dear ones safe. This also causes them to be jealous and vengeful, never forgetting when someone hurts them or those they care about. This strong passion sometimes makes them controlling, which is why they can tend to end up poisoning themselves with their own stinger in their search for control.

The first planetary ruler of Scorpio is the old ruler Mars, who represents action, energy, drive, determination, passion and anger. While the modern ruler is Pluto, who represents destruction, regeneration and transformation. The combined influence of these rulers is directly responsible for why Scorpio is so ambitious, passionate and power-hungry for control, despite being a water sign. Scorpio has a strong ego, but also acknowledges the need to desconstruct themselves and reform better to get what they want and bring happiness to those they care for.

In Greek Myth, Scorpio is the Scorpion sent after the hunter Orion by the goddess of the hunt Artemis and her mother Leto to kill him, after he boasted to them he would hunt every animal on earth without fail. After Orion got killed by the scorpion, Zeus raised both to the stars at the request of Artemis, as a reminder mortals should control their pride. Another version has Apollo, the twin brother of Artemis, send the Scorpion after Orion out of jealousy because he earned his sister's favor by admitting she was a better hunter than him. The ancient Greeks also believed the Libra constellation was actually a part of Scorpio, making it the representative of fairness, civility, and justice.

The description of Scorpio's traits is almost a step-by-step description of Roswell as a person. He is empathetic, competitive, persistent, stubborn, secretive and strategic, also possesing an obsession with death and the occult. He is loyal, devoted and protective of Dave, to the point where he can be controlling and make decisions for the hyena without taking his feelings into consideration. He holds a strong grudge against Tyson for harming him and Dave in the past, seeking vengeance long after the events have passed. Despite his stubborn bitterness against the wolf, Roswell chooses to let the trust he has for Dave win out, and actively tries to desconstruct his preconceptions and behavior to make the hyena happy.

Roswell being the mastermind is also perfectly fitting with Scorpio's motif. He has the most hidden agenda of all characters in the cast, carefully manipulating events and people with his intelligence to acheive his secret goal of saving as many people as possible. The secret is so well guarded that only Dave finds it out after an unnatural power allows him to do so. Despite the murders and manipulation, Roswell fought for what he believed was right and tried to stand for justice and fairness even in a warped scenario where those things where difficult to see.

Roswell's letter also shows these traits to the reader. Not only does it expose the depth of his secrecy and manipulation, but also his empathetic devotion and desire to do what's right by the people he cares about. From him ensuring the medicine in the vault remains destroyed in all iterations by hiding the password to the vault so ill-intended people can't abuse of the innocent with it, to him openly confessing his selfless love for Dave as one of the driving forces behind his actions, the letter reveals all of the boar's qualities and faults, which all tie with Scorpio.

Finally, Craig comments that some people associate Scorpio with evil, but that he doesn't put any stock in it, claiming signs are just stars in the end. He also says that even though the person who gave the medal away is the root of all the tragedy, that doesn't matter. This parallels well with how most people would assume Roswell to be evil on the surface considering his actions, but in reality, he is very kind and does his best to do the right thing by everyone in everything he does. Him being the villain doesn't make him evil nor his medal an evil medal, and both are a lot more complex than black and white labels.

Banner was made by Xernok on Discord.

Artwork was made by https://twitter.com/Leo_Zeke on Twitter.

#password visual novel #password vn #roswell sinclair #scorpio #astrology #mythology #furry

[fanficfanattic]

Full Whumptober Prompts List

NO. 1 "But now this room is spinning while I'm trying just to fill in all the gaps."

Safety Net | Swooning | "How many fingers am I holding up?"

NO. 2 "I’lI call out your name, but you won't call back."

Thermometer | Delirium | "They don't care about you."

NO. 3 "Like crying out in empty rooms, with no one there except the moon."

Journal | Solitary Confinement | "Make it stop."

NO. 4 "I see the danger, it's written there in your eyes."

Cattle Prod | Shock | "You in there?"

NO. 5 "You better pray I don't get up this time around."

Debris | Pinned Down | "It's broken.”

NO. 6 "Do or die, you'll never make me, because the world will never take my heart."

Recording | Made To Watch | “It should have been me.”

NO. 7 "I paced around for hours on empty, I jumped at the slightest of sounds”

Alleyway | Radio Silence | "Can you hear me?"

NO. 8 "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier."

Overcrowded ER | Outnumbered | "It's all for nothing."

NO.9 "Learning everything ain't what it seems, that's the thing about these days."

Polaroid | Mistaken Identity | "You're a liar."

NO. 10 "Can't you see that you're lost without me?"

Broken Phone | Stranded | "You said you'd never leave."

NO. 11 "All the lights going dark and my hope's destroyed."

Animal Trap | Captivity | "No one will find you."

NO. 12 "I haven't slept in days, but who's counting?"

Red | Insomnia | “I'm up, I'm up!"

NO. 13 "It comes and goes like the strength in your bones."

Cold Compress | Infection | "I don't feel so good.”

NO. 14 "Feed me poison, fill me 'til I drown."

Flare I Water Inhalation | "Just hold on.”

NO. 15 "I don't need you to help me, I can handle things myself."

Makeshift Bandages | Suppressed Suffering | "I'm fine.”

NO. 16 "Would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

Gurney | Flatline | "Don't go where I can't follow.”

NO. 17 "You're the lump in my throat and the knot in my chest."

Collar | Touch Aversion | "Leave me alone.”

NO. 18 "I tend to deflect when I'm feeling threatened."

Blindfold I Tortured For Information | "Hit them harder."

NO. 19 "I’ll take one final step, all you have to do is make me."

Floral Bouquet | Psychological | “I'm not as stupid as you think I am."

NO. 20 "People don't change people, time does."

Blanket | Found Family | “You will regret touching them."

NO. 21 "See the chains around my feet."

Vows | Restraints | "Don't move."

NO. 22 "They never saw us coming, 'til they hit the floor."

Glass Shard | Vehicular Accident I "Watch out!"

NO. 23 "It's gonna get me by the end of the night."

Shadows | Stalking | "Who's there?

NO. 24 "I've got a head full of chemicals, mouth full of ridicule."

Goodbye Note | Neglect | "I thought they were with you."

NO. 25 "You're not delivering a perfect body to the grave”

Storm | Buried Alive | "They're not breathing!"

NO. 26 "Sometimes I get so tired, I don't even know myself."

Seeing Double | Working To Exhaustion | "You look awful."

NO. 27 "You drew stars around my scars, but now I'm bleeding."

Matches | Scars | "Let me see.”

NO. 28 "We might not make it to the morning, so go on and tell me now."

Bloody Knife | Sacrifice | "You'll have to go through me.”

NO. 29 "I only sink deeper the deeper I think."

Scented Candle | Troubled Past Resurfacing | "What happened to me?"

NO. 30 “It's okay just to say 'I'm not okay'."

Borrowed Clothing | Bridal Carry I "Not much longer…”

NO. 31 "I thought that I was getting better." Emptiness | Setbacks | "Take it easy."

ALTERNATIVE PROMPTS

FIFTEEN EQUALLY WHUMPY ALTERNATIVE PROMPTS FOR WHUMPTOBER.

1. Betrayal

2. Aftermath of Failure

3. Brass Knuckles

4. Decoy

5. Body Modification

6. Playing Cards

7. Examination

8. Hunting

9. Drugging

10. Shaking

11. Panic

12. Broken

13. Miscommunication

14. Lab Rat

15. Reluctant Whumper

#since you cannot copy/paste on phone tumblr #i used the picture text reader #but some of the font was harder to read than other parts #so for your convenience friends

[loosepocketchange01]

Hellloooo! Whumptober is coming up and the prompts are officially out! So much potential for batfam fics! I wanna do something a little different this year (which will hopefully also get me motivated lol). I am taking any and all (reasonable) requests for (platonic) batfam fics relating to the whumptober prompts (imagine there’s cheering and clapping please)

All you gotta do is send in an ask with the day number, prompt you’d like (or alternate if that applies), and title! I am super excited to be doing this, this year!

This will also become similar to a master list once whumptober is over. Under each prompt, I’ll put the link towards the fic (LoosePocketChange on AO3!) some fics, depending on how it goes, will also be posted here on tumblr.

Happy whumping! Can’t wait to see what you guys choose!

No. 1: “But now this room is spinning while I’m trying just to fill in all the gaps.”

Safety Net | Swooning | “How many fingers am I holding up?”

No. 2: “I’ll call out your name, but you won’t call back.”

Thermometer | Delirium | “They don't care about you.”

No. 3: “Like crying out in empty rooms; with no-one there except the moon.”

Journal | Solitary Confinement | “Make it stop.”

No. 4: “I see the danger, It’s written there in your eyes.”

Cattle Prod | Shock | “You in there?”

No. 5: “You better pray I don't get up this time around.”

Debris | Pinned Down | “It's broken.”

No. 6: “Do or die, you’ll never make me; Because the world will never take my heart.”

Recording | Made to Watch | “It should have been me.”

No. 7: " “I paced around for hours on empty; I jumped at the slightest of sounds.”

Alleyway | Radio Silence | “Can you hear me?”

No. 8: “I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier.”

Overcrowded ER | Outnumbered | “It’s all for nothing.”

No. 9: “Learning everything ain't what it seems, that's the thing about these days.”

Polaroid | Mistaken Identity | “You're a liar.”

No. 10: “Can’t you see that you’re lost without me?”

Broken Phone | Stranded | “You said you'd never leave.”

No. 11: “All the lights going dark and my hope’s destroyed.”

Animal trap | Captivity | “No one will find you.”

No. 12: “I haven't slept in days but who's counting?”

Red | Insomnia | “I’m up, I’m up.”

No. 13: “It comes and goes like the strength in your bones.”

Cold Compress | Infection | “I don’t feel so good.”

No. 14: “Feed me poison, fill me ‘till I drown.”

Flare | Water Inhalation | “Just hold on.”

No. 15: “I don't need you to help me I can handle things myself.”

Makeshift Bandages | Suppressed Suffering | “I’m fine.”

No. 16: “Would you lie with me and just forget the world?”

Gurney | Flatline | “Don’t go where I can’t follow.”

No. 17: “You’re the lump in my throat and the knot in my chest.”

Collar | Touch Aversion | “Leave me alone.”

No. 18: “I tend to deflect when I’m feeling threatened.”

Blindfold | Tortured For Information | “Hit them harder.”

No. 19: “I’ll take one final step, all you have to do is make me.”

Floral Bouquet | Psychological | “I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”

No. 20: “People don’t change people, time does.”

Blanket | Found Family | “You will regret touching them.”

No. 21: “See the chains around my feet.”

Vows | Restraints | “Don't move.”

No. 22: “They never saw us coming, ‘til they hit the floor.”

Glass Shard | Vehicular Accident | “Watch out!”

No. 23: “It’s gonna get me by the end of the night.”

Shadows | Stalking | “Who’s there?”

No. 24: “I’ve got a head full of chemicals; mouth full of ridicule.”

Goodbye Note | Neglect | “I thought they were with you.”

No. 25: “You’re not delivering a perfect body to the grave.”

Storm | Buried Alive | “They’re not breathing!”

No. 26: “Sometimes I get so tired; I don’t even know myself.”

Seeing Double | Working To Exhaustion | “You look awful.”

No. 27: “You drew stars around my scars; But now I’m bleeding.”

Matches | Scars | “Let me see”

No. 28: “We might not make it to the morning; so go on and tell me now.”

Bloody Knife | Sacrifice | “You'll have to go through me.”

No. 29: “I only sink deeper the deeper I think.”

Scented Candle | Troubled Past Resurfacing | “What happened to me?”

No. 30: “It’s okay, just to say, ‘I’m not okay’.”

Borrowed Clothing | Bridal Carry | “Not much longer...”

No. 31: “I thought that I was getting better.”

Emptiness | Setbacks | “Take it easy.”

Alternatives List:

Betrayal

Aftermath of Failure

Brass Knuckles

Decoy

Body Modification

Playing Cards

Examination

Hunting

Drugging

Shaking

Panic

Broken

Miscommunication

Lab Rat

Reluctant Whumper

#whumptober #whumptober 2023 #dc #batfamily #whump writing

[whispersofawoman]

The impermanence of you.

There’s going to be a day when the way I feel about you now will be only something that I reminisce. Anything that burns so bright is not meant to burn forever. Like a comet shooting across a black sky bringing tremendous light to a dark canvas, it is equally beautiful and fleeting. There are flowers that wait all year to bloom and only show their beauty for a few short days but people travel from all over the world to marvel at the sight of it. How lucky I have been to find something beautiful without even searching.

I think I’ll inevitably look for you in every one that I meet. Not to be constantly disappointed but because I know now the love that I want and refuse to settle for less. You had gentle hands even though I had thick skin.. and were only rough when you needed to unmask my strength. I wish they could have your eyes.. whoever wanders into my life next.. the eyes I dreamed I’d dive in, swim in, drown in. Those eyes that could tear me apart but never held a single lie. Honest, captivating, deadly eyes. No, they could never have your eyes, there’s too much depth in them.. deep enough to sink to the bottom but true enough that hands will be there to pull you to the surface.

I’d like to think there will be a random moment in a day in the distant future that we will both be thinking of each other at the very same time. A final aftershock of the earthquake that was our collision. Something to remind me that I didn’t just dream you up and we existed in sequence at one time. Tell me.. when you turn the pages of a book will you think of me? I hope you do. I hope it makes you smile to look back on the way that we were.

I know it’s not goodbye yet. At least not right now. I can’t help but write this and let my heart except what my mind knows to be inevitable. Right now I’m just rehearsing a broken heart. Setting up triage. Finding a way to let you go seems impossible but we both knew this was only temporary. Would it have felt as good if it held longevity? Would it taste as sweet without an expiration date? The most incredible sensations only last for minutes at a time. People jump out of airplanes to get an adrenaline rush that lasts 5 minutes. They wait years to see a comet shoot through the sky. They go to the Louvre to see the Mona Lisa.. to marvel at its beauty. Would she still be as beautiful if they passed her everyday? Or is it her rarity that makes her desirable?

I wanted us to burn slow but once the flame started, it couldn’t be stopped. Soon we will have been smoked all the way to the filter with nothing left to do but throw us out. I might have inhaled too deeply and for too long. If I would have known then what I know now then I would have savored every drag. Felt the smoke build up in my lungs and watched as the fumes escaped my mouth. I can smoke a cigarette in 4 minutes. An art that I perfected from fast food jobs with only a small break allowed. It always goes by too fast.. it’s always over too soon.. but it made the day go by a little easier. Took some stress off of me.. helped me clear my head. When it was over I felt better.. but I get the feeling that won’t be the case here. I won’t feel better.. not at first anyway. It’s more like I smoked my final cigarette and I’m throwing away an addiction. I’m gonna scream first, throw my fist into a few walls, cry a whole hell of a lot.. and then finally.. when you’re out my system, I’ll be okay.. and I’ll be better for having had you and then lost you. I always knew this was temporary.. and I’d be forced at some point to deal with the impermanence of you.

#love #love in the air #love poetry #love poem #affirmations #i love you #healing #love quotes #one day #trust #impermanence #losing myself #lost