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#But it's just... I can't write because that demands a lot from me. I can't read because I don't have the patience. I don't have anything to
charlidos · 3 days
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THE CHRONICLES OF THE CUNTYBAGO
I love the lore of the Fellowship, I can't get enough of it. And it's really turned into a kind of myth, hasn't it? The stories have been established, from being told again and again. Regardless if it's not the whole truth, or even not true at all. The lore has a life of its own. And it changes, depedning on who's talking, and over time.
The lore of the (inappropriately named) Cuntybago is a favourite; that famed make-up trailer bus where Orlando spent so much time with Viggo (hours and hours for years and years if you listen to Orlando) absorbing everything Viggo did.
So here's the Ultimate (very long) Cuntybago Post.
The Cuntybago is apparently where all the after-work parties happened. Most of what actually happened on it is still secret, private events not to be shared; after hours, after some wine/whisky drinking. What kind of special stuff was in the drawers? What did they really smoke? And, most intriguingly, who exactly was left onboard when everyone were ordered to get out... (Erm, V&O, perhaps?)I'm sure there are many more photos from the bus. Like a photo of Viggo & Orlando - which has yet to be seen. Oh, to have been a fly on that wall!
(A clip from the last day of the reshoots, in 2003. Because it's the time the bus has been talked about the most. Even if I'm unsure if this is the actual Cuntybago or not. Since it doesn't look green...)
Mortensen and Orlando Bloom spent much of their off-time on a green bus they named the "Cunty-Bago." Instead of the standard luxury lodging demanded by most stars on set, Viggo and co-star Orlando Bloom shared a converted bus while filming Rings. Viggo stocked the bus with a wine cellar and wallpapered the inside with candid behind-the-scenes photos. A source on the set said the bus was the site of frequent cast parties, with the motto, "Everyone is welcome, but when it's time to go, get out!" Indeed, they formed a club — The Cunty-Bago Club. [Viggo, Sean and Orlando] shared a make-up Winnebago, and through hours of beard and pointy-ear application formulated the rules of their society — most of which boil down to getting gossip and posting it on. [on what? I think the text is cut?]
There are very few quotes from Viggo. If you read his old interviews about life on set it sounds like he mostly worked 6 days a week, 14 hours a day. And in his free time, he went camping and fishing by himself and just drove around to get some me-time. That's it. It all sounds like mostly work and no play for Viggo. Cementing this image of him being ever serene, wise and a hard working method actor who never stopped being Aragorn. But then, we have the stories of this bus, which shows his wilder side...
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(Viggo in ponytails, with a glass of wine and banana, in front of that mirror covered in photographs. They both took a lot of photos on set, so I guess a bunch of those photos are Orlando's.)
All Viggo's said is this:
"It was a crazy small bus." "Everything had cunt. It was 'cunt this' and 'cunt that'. We had a cuntmas tree, and we had cuntmas angels."
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(Orlando on the makeup bus. )
Orlando has mostly mentioned the bus in passing, as he loves on Viggo, his great hero. And in his words, it always sounds like it was just the two of them... (when in fact it was from time to time also shared with Sean B, Bernard and Liv - but only Viggo & Orlando were there the whole time).
[Me and Viggo would] sit next to each other for a couple or hours each morning in a make-up truck. You get to know someone that way, more than by being in scenes with them. I used to sit next to him on the make-up bus, and find myself just staring at him while he was having his make-up done and drawing in his book or writing his notes. I would find myself fascinated. When I went back for re-shoots, I was on my own and he wasn't sitting there, and I suddenly was sitting in the makeup bus that we'd been driving around in for 18 months in New Zealand and got really emotional and felt that it was kind of weird to be there without him there and sort of reflected on all of the happy conversations and chats and glasses of wine and talks that we would have at the end of the day or whatever. He really had a huge impact on my life as an actor.
But he did say a few specific things too:
"Ahhh yes, the bus. It was mine, all mine. It was my precious." Bloom christened the bus the "C-word" when the makeup artist was fuming about someone and asked Bloom's advice. "You should kick him in the cunt and tell him to fuck off!" Viggo just lost it for half an hour. He kept saying, 'What did you say?' [The bus] became all about "the word. We took that word and took all of its power away. We made it the most loving word in the world. If you were a true cunt, you were the most amazing person in the world. It was a very free-spirited bus. It came about because me and Viggo kept being moved around, and we ended up on this bus one day. And the actors were fed up and we said, "This is it. This is our home and we are not moving. If they come, tell them to go away."
And finally from Orlando's IG in 2019 (obviously, to this day, a very important part of his life):
Our fondly named makeup bus, christened by Noreen my makeup artist and Viggo Mortensen, was, and remains in my heart and memory the most female and male empowered, joyful, disreputable and yet totally respectful place of work and creativity ever. Hours spent in the the makeup chair to apply ear’s and wigs and contacts." (They can't even agree who named it, Noreen never got any credit back then...)
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(From the reshoots in 2003, Viggo gives Orlando some love and points out the photo message from Orlando on the mirror. But I want to know, who put up the pic of O with Brad Pitt? From this clip.)
The comments from everyone else in the cast about life on the Cuntybago are actually more enlightening. The rowdy gang reveal another side of life on set and of Viggo: as a drinking, partying prankster who loves crude language. It's definitely part of the fascination with Viggo. He's never one to talk about these things himself.
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(I think they're wearing the special cuntebago t-shirts here. No idea from whence.)
Bernard Hill:
You are not supposed to know about it!" "There were five or six of us - Viggo, Orlando and Sean [Bean]. Liv came in and out [of the group]. Viggo has this special kind of crudeness that he is capable of. We were in the same make up bus [along with Bloom]. When I came back [from a break] it was called the Cuntybago. It was our private club. We had wine tasting sessions and had lots of parties. We also kept lots of food in there. Anything that was out [on the table], you could have. You could drink it, eat it, borrow it, smoke it… but don´t go looking in any drawers. That´s where we kept our 'special stuff'! [The Cuntybago bar would on occasion open very early] like 6:30am. There were days that we needed it. [I've made life-long friends with] everybody who was in the Cuntybago. Leaving the first time was such a huge wrench. Especially because of the Cuntybago, it was like our club. Fortunately we managed to get it back for Return of the king reshoots, so ROTK was the Return of the Cuntybago. We actually drove it out onto the streets for Viggo’s farewell. Viggo didn’t know we were going to do it, and when it started moving, you should have seen his face. I kept shouting, “Cunty libre! Cunty libre!” And the bus start leaving—we were breaking free. For propriety’s sake it was called the C-Bago Club, because you couldn’t put Cunty on the call sheet. Sean Bean came in, Liv was also a part of it. As soon as I get back to England I’m going to start the C-Bago web site: Orlando will do fashion and Viggo will do current affairs. I’ll probably do gossip — you know, the social calendar. Liv will do Hollywood and Sean Bean will do the art of war. It’ll be our little corner of the world.
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(Bernard & Orlando Bloom getting make-up done. Here's the green bus again.)
Elijah:
Cuntybago is an amalgamation of 'Winnebago' and Viggo Mortensen´s cuss word of choice. I've gained an appreciation of the word cunt. Negative words - the best thing is to diffuse them by using and taking the meaning away. Cunt! Cunt! It's a great, great word. Very forceful. [Viggo] became utterly fascinated with it and it became the word of the film. Their Winnebago for makeup was called the Cuntybago. I was not a part of the Cuntybago unfortunately - it was the makeup room of Orlando, Viggo and Sean Bean - but it was a lovely place to visit. Cuntybago T-shirts were made up. There was a Cunty Christmas and we had a Cunty Christmas tree, all this stuff. Cate Blanchett [who plays the elf queen Galadriel] was deemed Her Cuntliness. I think we were all secretly jealous of the Cuntybago. I was anyway. I loved the atmosphere. Any place that had Viggo in the centre was always an interesting place to be… And that was where all the alcohol was. It was just spending all of that time with brits and Aussies. The word ‘Cunt’ came up quite a lot. I was fascinated by that and how it could become not so dirty. It’s one of the few swear words that still shock people." Is that why you called Cate Blanchett “Her Cuntliness? “Not my creation. She was called that by Viggo Mortensen. I put the blame on him. It was used during the making of the movie and seems a bit silly now. Wood says that his Cuntybago T-shirt is home in a drawer. "It's too big for me. I'm a small guy."
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(A few photos up on the mirror in front of Viggo. I'm guessing it's Henry on the toilet (aww!), and Viggo and Orlando doing something something... Sharing a cigarette? Extinguishing a cigarette on Viggo's tongue? It looks kind of erotic. And who's the other dude?)
Billy:
"On Lord of the rings we'd go to Viggo and Orlando's trailer which was called The Cuntybago. Viggo was good for getting Irish whiskey, which was great but I keep trying to educate him on malt whisky. (To Billy it was just V&O's trailer. Like it's where they lived together...) Hobbits, an elf, a King of Men, maybe a dwarf. And quite a few times a wizard, sometimes a princess. Ha ha! That's enough to make anyone feel pissed. We had some good times on that one, some great times."
Peter Jackson:
"The actors had a spiritual connection to it. I liked the way they had photographs [Mortensen and Bloom] taken behind-the-scenes, plastered all over the walls."
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(From the reshoots, I think. Beautifully blurry.)
Liv Tyler:
I can't believe he [Mortensen] talked about that. That was our private world. There was a lot of liquor on that bus. But the funniest thing about this bus is that this thing was a beast. It was so tiny; nothing worked. If they ever washed our hair it would go from scalding hot to freezing cold. There was no heat. Our makeup trailer became the center of things. It was given a really bad name that I cannot repeat. There were pranks, most of them also too dirty to tell. I love them all, all my costars. We would hang out mostly in the hair-and-makeup trailer, and after work at dinner. We would eat all the time and drink wine and laugh.  I think that a lot of that was the friendships that we made with each other and the fact that we all needed each other. It was vital that we all had each other to survive and to be able to laugh. Everybody had a really good sense of humor, thank God. We'd be constantly making jokes and decorating the trailer with ridiculous things and being rude and that was our sort of little bubble of escape in our makeup trailer.
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(Photo by Liv, in the bus. You can see all the polaroids and stuff behind the unicorn elf.)
Cate Blanchett:
Viggo is the funkiest person I've ever met. I am far too polite to . . . he had this thing he called "the cunty-bago" . . . no, I guess I shouldn't go into that. So, yeah, he's incredible, very funny.
So, I can't quite figure out which bus The Cuntybago actually is: the green one Orlando is seen exiting? Or the yellow-ish one seen in the vids from the reshoots? Because they aren't the same. And in the vid from the final day, Bernard says the bus he drove on that last day was the same they'd had "for years" and which never moved before. While Orlando said they drove The Cuntybago around "for 18 months". So which bus was it? And did they drive the bus around or not? Or was it stationary? It's a mystery.
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(This is the green bus - but is it the make-up trailer? Same as in the vid with Bernard.)
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(Here in the reshoots, the bus is yellow-ish? And completely different. Looks more like a Winnebago than the green one really... So which one is The Cuntybago?)
That's all I have found about this infamous, mythical place, where all the magic happened, as they say. If anyone has info to add, please do! I want this post to be comprehensive!
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kimingyuslover · 19 hours
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the call
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synopsis : you never thought that one call could leave you in a tearful night.
word count : 759
pairing : lee dokyeom x afab!reader
warnings : reader is mentioned wearing a dress, angst (sorry not sorry), tears.
a.n : i feel like i need more angst in my life & i want to create a oneshot that will have the readers bawling their eyes out. idk to you guys, but i cried a little while writing this.
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the white mini dress you wore is adoring to everyone's eyes. you decided that it was time for you to have a date again, after your last one, which is 3 weeks ago.
the night ends so quickly, the date went absolutely wonderful, you have to thank Mingyu– who arranged this date, with lots of food.
"yeah, the date went so excellent! i think we'd have another date next week" you say as you start to open your laptop to finish the proposal you've been writing for ages.
"should i expect a barbecue dinner next month? you probably ended with this guy" Mingyu said on the other side, making you let out a giggle.
"i don't know, but maybe—
you got cut off by the ringtone from your phone, someone calls you, "wait a sec Mingyu, i need to pick up another call" which Mingyu answered with, "yeah sure, call me again right after that"
you can't figure the name of the contacts on your phone, and you can't remember whose this number belongs to, but you answer it because you think it's maybe something important?
"hello?" you let out.
"y/n," the other person replied. you know who this is, and you're planning to hang up the call, but before you can do it, he speaks again.
"i'm sorry! please don't hang up, i need to let this out, my hearts feels heavy if i have to carry this every day." he said, you replied nothing, and he take that as a yes, he can speak to you.
"i want you to know that, i still love you. i messed up a big time while we're still in a relationship, i'm sorry that i don't take the blame even though it's my fault, i'm sorry i neglected you, neglected our relationship. i need you to know that my heart still belongs to you. i tried, i really tried to leave you alone because that's what a good ex should do, right? but when i heard you already go on dates, my heart started to aches so much that it really brought tears to my eyes. that night, i had a few drinks because of the pressure my company put me in, i shouldn't lashed it out on you that night. i'm not in my right state of mind. my mind wanders around when you leave me, i feel miserable, i feels like shit, an asshole, a prick, bastard, and other terms that i used to believe i'm not one of them. i promise your mom to always protect you, but in the end, i was the one who hurt you," you heard him letting out a silent sobs. you don't want to cut him. you feel your own tears start to huddle in your eyes.
"i never made any attempt to make time for you because i think, i need space where i'm alone, far from you, and of course, i was wrong. i never want you to be far from me, i want you to hold me close every time I had a shitty day like you used to before my work schedule demanding every time i have and i start to distancing myself from you. i regret every single second when i'm thinking about what i did to you, i never deserved you, and you deserve so much more than me," now, it's your time to let out your silent sobs.
"Everyday, every night when i see my apartment, all i see is you. every corner of this building held it memory of you, i missed you, i missed us before everything happens" notices your sobs, he pauses for awhile.
"you don't need to answer me, i just want to let you know that every inch of me loves you until now. you deserve a man who can make his time for you, who can control his emotion better than me," he stop for a second, "who can love you better than i do"
that's your breaking down point. you try to speak, "dokyeom, i'm sorry"
"it's not your fault. it's mine, it's never yours, i made us this way, so i have to accept it. " he chuckles dryly, and not long after that, he hangs up the call.
minutes later, you received a text from the same number
i'm not drunk or tipsy. everything that comes out of my mouth is proof that i, in fact, is still mourning for our relationship.
i hope you'll have a good life, away from me, goodbye, my love.
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riverswater · 6 months
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I need to find activities that are doable even when you're tired because being tired can't be an excuse to spend two hours on my phone. Or more. I'm killing my brain and for what 😔💔
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katya-goncharov · 11 months
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personalised cover letters my behated
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headspace-hotel · 7 months
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I will write this thought about Veganism and Classism in the USA in another post so as to not derail the other thread:
There are comments in the notes that say meat is only cheaper than plant based foods because of subsidies artificially lowering the price of meat in the United States. This is...part of the story but not all of it.
For my animal agriculture lab we went to a butcher shop and watched the butcher cut up a pig into various cuts of meat. I have had to study quite a bit about the meat industry in that class. This has been the first time I fully realized how strongly the meat on a single animal is divided up by socioeconomic class.
Like yes, meat cumulatively takes more natural resources to create and thus should be more expensive, but once that animal is cut apart, it is divided up between rich and poor based on how good to eat the parts are. I was really shocked at watching this process and seeing just how clean and crisp an indicator of class this is.
Specifically, the types of meat I'm most familiar with are traditionally "waste" parts left over once the desirable parts are gone. For example, beef brisket is the dangly, floppy bit on the front of a cow's neck. Pork spareribs are the part of the ribcage that's barely got anything on it.
And that stuff is a tier above the "meat" that is most of what poor people eat: sausage, hot dogs, bologna, other heavily processed meat products that are essentially made up of all the scraps from the carcass that can't go into the "cuts" of meat. Where my mom comes from in North Carolina, you can buy "livermush" which is a processed meat product made up of a mixture of liver and a bunch of random body parts ground up and congealed together. There's also "head cheese" (made of parts of the pig's head) and pickled pigs' feet and chitlin's (that's made of intestines iirc) and cracklin's (basically crispy fried pig skin) and probably a bunch of stuff i'm forgetting. A lot of traditional Southern cooking uses basically scraps of animal ingredients to stretch across multiple meals, like putting pork fat in beans or saving bacon grease for gravy or the like.
So another dysfunctional thing about our food system, is that instead of people of each socioeconomic class eating a certain number of animals, every individual animal is basically divided up along class lines, with the poorest people eating the scraps no one else will eat (oftentimes heavily processed in a way that makes it incredibly unhealthy).
Even the 70% lean ground beef is made by injecting extra leftover fat back into the ground-up meat because the extra fat is undesirable on the "better" cuts. (Gross!)
I've made, or eaten, many a recipe where the only thing that makes it non-vegan is the chicken broth. Chicken broth, just leftover chicken bones and cartilage rendered and boiled down in water? How much is that "driving demand" for meat, when it's basically a byproduct?
That class really made me twist my brain around about the idea of abstaining from animal products as a way to deprive the industry of profits. Nobody eats "X number of cows, pigs, chickens in a lifetime" because depending on the socioeconomic class, they're eating different parts of the animal, splitting it with someone richer or poorer than they are. If a bunch of people who only ate processed meats anyway abstained, that wouldn't equal "saving" X number of animals, it would just mean the scraps and byproducts from a bunch of people's steaks or pork chops would have something different happen to them.
The other major relevant conclusion I got from that class, was that animal agriculture is so dominant because of monoculture. People think it's animal agriculture vs. plant agriculture (or plants used for human consumption vs. using them to feed livestock), but from capitalism's point of view, feeding animals corn is just another way to use corn to generate profits.
People think we could feed the world by using the grain fed to animals to feed humans, but...the grain fed to animals, is not actually a viable diet for the human population, because it's literally just corn and soybean. Like animal agriculture is used to give some semblance of variety to the consumer's diet in a system that is almost totally dominated by like 3 monocrops.
Do y'all have any idea how much of the American diet is just corn?!?! Corn starch, corn syrup, corn this, corn that, processed into the appearance of variety. And chickens and pigs are just another way to process corn. That's basically why we have them, because they can eat our corn. It's a total disaster.
And it's even worse because almost all the USA's plant foods that aren't the giant industrial monocrops maintained by pesticides and machines, are harvested and cared for by undocumented migrant workers that get abused and mistreated and can't say anything because their boss will tattle on them to ICE.
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osachiyo · 3 months
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EAT IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT ! ✘ 𝐝𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢, 𝐜𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚, 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐨 & 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨
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𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 — n/sfw content, headcanons + rating, female reader, cunnilingus, cum eating, squirting, pussy slapping, face-sitting, praise, overstimulation, etc
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 — i wrote this while being sick, so don't attack me if this has a lot of spelling mistakes and errors.. and i just wanted to write some silly little headcanons so my apologies if this isn't good lol happy reading as always and i hope you enjoy :3 (yes i did remove fedya from this sorry) NOT PROOFREAD
𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 — bsd men and how they eat the 😼
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𝓓𝓪𝔃𝓪𝓲
this man is a MUNCHERRRR. will gladly eat you out any day of the week, any time of the day. he does not care if you're at work — will not hesitate drag you in a storage room of the agency and eat you out there. one time ranpo walked in on dazai giving you the most toe-curling head, and used that as blackmail on you two, demanding he'll keep quiet if you bought him candy for the rest of the week. safe to say that you put a ban on sex at work for a month (spoiler alert: you didn't last).
sit. on. his. face. make a mess on it — drench his face in your juices and he'll thank you. hell, even better if you ride it — he'll cum untouched so fast.
he's skilled in the art of eating pussy — knows all of your weak spots like the back of his hand. don't ask him how many times he's done this — he'll just flash you an innocent looking smile, never actually answering your question.
knows how to make you scream and takes advantage of that — urging you to cum over and over on his silver tongue, saying "just gimme one more, darling," only for it to turn into another, and another until you lose count.
he takes his time when giving you head — tongue tracing your hole all the way up to your clit, savouring the taste of your arousal before he devours you.
KEEPS EYE CONTACT !! works his mouth on your cunt while his big, warm, brown eyes filled with mirth stares at you the entire time, smirking at the beautiful expressions you make — loving how flustered you get from his gaze alone.
likes to use his fingers while eating you out — long digits probing at the rough patch of your g-spot while he sucks on your clit — a deadly combo that has you creaming in his mouth in seconds.
overall a 10/10, knows how to use his tongue and isn't afraid of using it.
𝓒𝓱𝓾𝓾𝔂𝓪
messy eater !! is not afraid of getting filthy, if he's gonna go down on you, might as well do it properly.
he's really into 69 ! not because he gets pleasured as well (though he's definitely not gonna complain about it), it's more of a physiological thing for him. it gets him so impossibly hard when you slobber and struggle to take his cock down your throat just because of the sheer pleasure he's giving you. it's adorable to see, really. also gives him an excuse to shove his cock down your throat himself, groaning something about "him doing all the work," but he wouldn't have it any other way.
as much as he loves pinning you to the bed, holding your hips down while shoving his face between your legs — he'd much rather eat it from the back. what can he say? he loves your ass — spreading it apart to bury his tongue into your hole, occasionally slapping or pinching your cheeks to tease you — it's pure filth.
he knows your limits, of course, but sometimes he can't help but go a little overboard — too lost in the feeling of lapping up your sweetness, circling your clit before dipping his tongue into your hole. it's best not to interrupt him during this — unless you actually want to stop, he's gonna pin you down harder with a low growl before getting back to his meal.
he doesn't use his fingers that often while eating you out — would much rather make you release on his tongue, but wouldn't mind indulging you if you really wanted it. gloved fingers probing at your sweet spot — groaning out praises for being so good for him.
he's a talker !! growling, muttering and even moaning words of encouragement while he eats your pussy — the vibrations of his lust-filled voice making your toes curl and head lull back.
9/10, he's less about technique and more about instinct — and it works.
𝓙𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓸
he's a sadist through and through — very into edging you. likes to hear your heartbeat speed up then suddenly drop when he pulls his face away from your cunt, laughing at your misery like it's the funniest thing in the world. don't get him wrong though — he eventually does let you cum, eventually.
when he's not edging you, he's overstimulating you. sometimes he does it right after edging you, too — didn't you want to cum? he's giving you what you wanted this whole time, you should thank him for it, really.
not afraid of using toys on you during he goes down on you — he loves hearing your desperate whines and and attempts of forcing him away because "it's too much," what nonsense — he thinks, jouno knows your limits, he knows you can take it. now be a good girl for him and let him enjoy his meal.
100% a pussy slapper — he likes hearing you squeal his name, while your neighbors definitely hate you both for that. he's so mean about it too, spreading your pussy lips apart to land a harsh but swift smack on your clit — it has you tearing up and crying out his name so cutely, he can't help but do it again, again and again.
jouno knows exactly which spots make you writhe in pleasure, and he takes advantage of that — relentlessly pounding his fingers into your g-spot while suckling on your clit, it has you seeing stars in mere moments.
did i mention he can make you squirt? he's incredible with his hands and mouth — combine that with the fact that he knows all of your weak spots, it's a killer combination. even if you're not a squirter, he still gives you the best orgasms you've had in your life.
8/10, he knows your limits and knows when to stop — but sometimes he can be a little too… sadistic.
𝓡𝓪𝓷𝓹𝓸
another munch right here — he'll eat you out anytime he wants, and when you want him to, of course !
ranpo gets super whiney while going down on you, his face would be flushed down to his neck — muffled moans of your name escaping his glossy lips, it's an adorable sight.
his glasses would be all fogged up, please take them off for him so they don't get dirty (he'll be whiney after if you don't)
ranpo has 0 experience, might need you to teach him some of the basics at first but he's a quick learner, quickly figures out and memorises which spots make you moan louder and your cunt wetter.
he doesn't care that much about technique, relies on feeling instead.
he doesn't like using his fingers, would rather pleasure you simply with his tongue — but he might cave in if you whined for long enough.
LOVES having you sit on his face — he needs to be drowned in your essence, and what better way to do that than have you ride his face? use him to get off, he might whine and kick his feet at first but he'll give in eventually !
sucks on your clit like it's his favorite candy — at least that's what he tells you. could spend hours and hours between your legs if you'd let him, sucking at licking at your clit before dipping his tongue in your hole, he might like it even better than candy, actually.
7/10, inexperienced but his enthusiasm makes up for it — really messy too.
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note — if you don't agree with the ratings then that's fine, they can eat you out however you want them to lol.
tags ・ @hopefulpain @inkmooon @constant-existential-terror @nda-approval @mellieellie @seiiushi @lynxxyyy @kentopedia
@sorasushik1 @himebwrries @nopethenope @neviex @fyodorisbbg @stygianoir @saharei @x-lunawrites-x @munnaitorei @emyyy007 @dearhoney-31 @the-foreigner @angoisfine @osaemu @honeycombflowers-blog @yuiiasathesilly @kaithegremlin @squigglewigglewoo @cupidszvlvr @ashthemadwriter-archived @bloobewy @mrs-bakugou @hauntedsol @ask-me-or-not @hanakotateyama @kissesmellow21 @dazaichuuya69 @xxsilverjackalxx @gettinshiggywithit @deaths-presence @sugaredpersimmon @rjssierjrie @iheartpieck @angelof-darkness @dazaisimpletmereadfanficspls @hellokitty-4-lele @scinclaitnoir @aly-insanity @kemis-world @bisexuawolfsalt @thateldribitch
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trashfangirlsworld · 2 months
Text
Hello! I've been inactive due to the current events in the mcyt community, but I've been keeping up with the qsmp admin situation and I thought I'd share some opinions because the amount of doomposting I've seen the last few weeks has been more than I've seen in any fandom in a while and I feel like it's reached the point where people really need to chill the fuck out because they're not thinking straight and actively not helping. Everything I'm gonna say is based on stuff I've seen on both tumblr and twitter.
they should not promote/release merch! : one of the things that baffles me the most tbh; how do you expect any employee to be payed then? Merch is so far the only big source of income for the server besides q's own cc salary or whatever income they get through the official qsmp channel on twitch and youtube (which I don't think is a lot). "I get that they said they have no funds, but still it doesn't feel right"... sorry but at this point I don't know what to tell you, do you expect them to pull money out of their asses? You can't demand that they stop making merch and then complain that they can't afford the twitter admins at the same time. If you don't feel comfortable buying anything from them it's fine obviously, but if your reason for it is that you're helping the admins then I have bad news for you. I have seen people propose that quackity sets up a patreon, and while I think it would be a good idea, I understand why he's not doing it, since with the merch he can at least give something back to the people that choose to support his project instead of people just giving him money for free, especially with what's happening now. Also with how much hate he's been receiving simply for the merch I can't imagine that a patreon would be recieved well.
we don't know if the money is going to the admins/ they should not use pomme's likeness! : the money is definitely going to go to the employees and admins because otherwise the server would not last. And as much as I understand people feeling protective over pomme's admin, quackity studios is very much allowed to sell merch of the character because it is not the likeness of the admin, it's a minecraft model made by the people that work there. Would you have rathered they skip her character entirely? Do you really think that would have been okay?. Also correct me if I'm wrong, but I've seen posts and tweets saying that pomme's admin has been confirmed to come back with the other eggs whenever it happens by pierre, who talked with her admin.
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the admins of the update accounts got fired, it means they want to fire everyone, they aren't making things better! : it sucks that the updates accounts had to end and I feel bad for every twitter admin that clearly cared a lot about the project, but unfortunately it had to happen if there simply isn't enough money to pay them adequately like they deserved and ultimately the update accounts were not essential to keep the project going, so it makes sense that they were let go unfortunately. This is not gonna be the case for the egg admins because if they got fired (which they didn't), the server would basically end. Just because a cc does not know when they will be back does not mean it's not gonna happen. Just because tubbo randomly said that he's not sure if they will be back does not mean they were fired; tubbo is normally not a reliable source of information, even less so when he's been live nonstop for the past 20 days, which is prior to everything happening. If you genuinely didn't expect a reduction in non essential staff considering everything, then you have unreasonable expectations on how this stuff goes. As I write this, I'm seeing people saying that "they would understand this decision if q had set up a patreon to pay the admins", and once again I don't understand how people don't realize why quackity might not be keen on the idea of having his fans pay his own employees for his own project instead of, you know, doing it himself; and, again, do not fool yourself into thinking it would be recieved well. That being said, it's fair to criticize how everything was communicated to the admins, but I'll get to this in more detail later.
quackity should not have uninstalled social media, he's trying to avoid everything! : he's not avoiding anything, he's been off social media for a while now, which is why it took him that long to remove wilbur from the server. He has every right to not want to look at social media, as his focus should be on restructuring his server instead of doomscrolling on twitter because people think he needs to see how much people dislike him. The only people that he should talk to are those that have important information to tell him, like josè with the document. He explicitly said on stream where to contact him if you have helpful information and I'm sure that despite multiple well liked posts saying not to spam his email, people are definitely doing it anyway, which is probably gonna slow the whole thing down even more. I hope josè's document is able to be seen with pierre's help as well.
quackity studios is not communicating with their employees and leaving them in the dark and that's not okay : I agree with this. i think a huge chunk of doomposting lately has been due the lack of communication not with the audience, but with the admins, and they deserve to know what is happening behind the scenes more then us since this is about their current or future job.... that being said, I do kind of understand why they're being so secretive and shutting everyone out, and that's due to all the "leaks" that have been spread online. I understand the anger but I really wish some people would realize that discussing leaked bts lore stuff in ccs discord servers does not help the situation at all and instead makes it seem like they're only doing this to rile up the fandom against quackity studios by using the lore of people's fav characters.
At the end of the day, I think people just aren't used to dealing with a situation that does not have a clear cut solution and someone to clearly hate, so the result is this doomposting and the over aggressiveness toward anything related to the project. Personally, I haven't witnessed anything that made me lose faith in the qsmp like some people have been saying, as every change that we've seen so far coincides with what quackity said on stream a while ago. I only wish things were communicated properly to the admins clearly, as they're the ones most affected, so I hope that's resolved soon. Ultimately quackity is singlehandedly restructuring the server from basically zero, has had to fire people that were misusing money and power and, depending on what josè's document said, is probably gonna have to fire some more. This is not an easy process, nor a quick one, you're not gonna hear about sunshine and rainbows for a while and doomposting about everything you hear because you expected quick change is useless. Think before you speak, have a clear head and most importantly have empathy.
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woahjo · 2 months
Text
cw: fwb, unprotected sex, creampie, no aftercare (it prob happens but i did not write it), casual sex, very very light pain play (satoru pinches), semi-rough sex, light femdom (kinda)
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fwb with satoru gets really messy really really fast and then you both have to pretend that it didn't happen... then ofc the next week you start sleeping together again because you can't keep your hands off of each other.
there's a lot of frustration. a lot of emotion that neither of you are all too eager to claim, and it charges you both up like static set to shock. it makes you... angry and vindictive, chasing something that you both refuse to give a name to (even if the name is obvious).
it's a thursday and the night has gone as either of you had expected it to. truthfully, you didn't come over to satoru's place to fuck him. he's your friend, even with all the sex you have, and you really just came over here just to hang out. of course, one thing led to another and the proximity, teasing words, his hand on the top of your thigh, fingers creeping further and further up... well, of course you ended up like this. it seems to be a natural state for the two of you.
straddled across his lap, you can feel the heavy press of his cock inside of you. satoru's head is angled back, exposing the underside of his jaw as he closes his eyes to admire the tight squeeze of you around him. his hands grip your hips tightly, slender fingers squeezing into the soft padding of flesh your figure provides. his breath comes quickly and through an alternating mix of gritted teeth and a slack jaw.
you've got the lead, rolling your hips forward and bracing your weight on the couch behind him. the pace is brutal and his cock bullies your insides with each frantic roll of your hips against his. you can feel the way he moves to meet you, desperate and wanting, his chest covered in a slick sheen of sweat. his shirt and your shorts are the only things the two of you managed to take off and the rest of your clothes stick to your bodies as they gather heat.
satoru's hand snakes it's way under your casual t-shirt, kneading the soft flesh of your breast and then delivering a painful pinch to the delicate skin. you shudder, enamored by the wide feel of his palm on your skin and he grins lazily at the easy access. you haven't even worn a bra, how telling.
the expression frustrates you. satoru tilts his head forward a little bit to look at you, delivering a sort of cock-sure grin that makes your cunt throb and your frustration flare. then, he drags his eyes down your body before focusing in on the place where the two of you meet, intensely focused on catching glimpses of the base of his soaked cock and your pretty, parted cunt.
you grit your teeth, leaning up so that you're looming over him and picking up with the aggression of your movement. there's a desperate sense of pressure in your lower abdomen and satoru tilts his head up to look at you as you reorient yourself to be on top of him. you can see the way his lips curl up, wetted by his tongue darting out to lick them. his expression is stiff and pleasure ridden, white eyebrows knitted together and a flush across his features as he looks back down between the two of you. one hand squeezes your breast and the other moves your hips along with you, painful pressure where each finger meets your body.
you take his face in your hand, your fingers sinking into the hollows of his cheek, forcing his expression into a half pout. satoru is forced to look at you and he tears his eyes away from where the two of you meet to rest on your face. they're blue and glassy, watering with whatever desperate, wild emotion this sort of thing brings on. you feel him grit his teeth under your grip and you can't help but grin, tilting your head to the side.
"tell me you want me," you demand, your voice breathy.
"i want you," he says. satoru doesn't even stop to think about it. normally, he might put up a fight, but tonight, you have the power and he admits his desire freely and with a desperate undertone.
"yeah?" you tease, picking up your pace. your breathing comes quickly, it comes as a tell. "how badly?"
"so badly," he grunts, his face still caught in your grip. "so much."
you grin and satoru sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth as your cunt clenches around him and you bore down on him. you feel him twitch inside of you and shudder, bringing your face close to his.
"tell me you love me, satoru," you demand, feeling the way his breath catches in his throat. you don't stop the movement of your hips, teetering on the edge of an orgasm as pleasure mounts in your lower stomach.
satoru grits his teeth and seems to pause at this. his breathing quickens, eyes screwing shut before you deliver a squeeze to his cheeks that tells him to open them.
"come on," you pant. "tell me you love me."
and satoru does.
"i love you," he says on an exhale, the words breeching his lips as if he'd been holding his breath. you clench down around him and satoru says it again, sharper this time and with a whiny undertone. "i love you."
you let go of his face, putting your hands on his shoulders as you creep closer and closer to the edge. satoru's fingers dig into your hips and you feel the way his grip tightens and twitches as he creeps closer. your nails dig little crescents into satoru's upper back, almost begging it to bleed.
with a groan, you push your chest forward and cum over him, your hips twitching as you try and fail to keep up the pace. it takes everything you have not to slam your knees closed in front of you. instead, you press yourself down and against him, raking your nails across his back and you briefly register the sound of satoru's choked moan before you feel him spill inside of you.
there's no pleasure greater than this. there is no better feeling than coming around him with heavy words in the air. satoru's fingers don't let up on your hips and his chest heaves with each breath. they keep you over him and you watch as he leans his head back on the couch and closes his eyes, satisfied with the feeling of plugging you up and spent with the admission (maybe a lie, maybe not) that you dragged out of him.
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exhaslo · 19 days
Note
English is not my first language, so I hope I can speak it correctly. I imagined a story where the shy!reader has hot dreams about Miguel, and for some "reason" (Lyla), Miguel finds out and decides to tease the reader until everything ends in an NSFW way. I hope I have given you the idea within the appropriate terms.
Hehehe, no worries my friend. I know just what to write.
Warning: MINORS DNI, SMUT, teasing, slow sex, masturbation, fingering, wet dreams, overstimulation
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This obsession you were having with one of your co-workers was getting out of hand. You knew it was a long shot that you could ever have a chance with the one and only, Miguel O'hara, but you couldn't stop dreaming about him.
Miguel O'hara was the smartest man in Alchemax. He was in charge of nearly everything that had to do with genetics. Every woman wanted to be his, hell, even men wanted a piece of that hot ass.
You? You were part of ordering team. It was a blessing and a curse, mainly because you got to talk with Miguel a lot more than others. You had to get with him to see what materials he needed. You loved it, but also hated it.
Why?
Because each time you talked to Miguel helped you dream of him fucking you raw. His hands pinning your head down against your pillow as he plows you from behind. The thought of his dick filling you again and again made your pussy throb.
His husky voice whispering in your ear, asking you who you belonged too. His balls emptying out inside your womb, coating your walls white.
Drool nearly rolled down your lips as your fingers rested gently against your throbbing bud. Oh, how Miguel O'Hara made your mind wander to the dirtiest parts. It was difficult because you knew something as glorious as that could never happen.
When you got home, you had nothing better to do than record your thoughts. Unlike the past where people wrote in a diary, the year 2099 made things easier. You summoned your AI and set it to recording mode, ready to talk about your wildest fantasies.
"Ah, and when Miguel's hand grazed mind when he handed me the list...mhm...I couldn't help but think how those fingers would feel inside me. Why does he have to be so hot? I can't mutter a word to him about anything other than work!"
You whined and cried as you let your frustrations out in your virtual diary. It wasn't fair. You wanted Miguel to notice you as a woman. You wanted him to ask you out. To make you his.
But who knows whenever that will happen.
---------
Miguel was stuck in his lab, working on some late projects before calling it a night. As he worked, he recalled you. Smiling at how shy you were, Miguel leaned back in his seat. Out of all the girls who fawned over him, Miguel enjoyed you the most.
The way your cheeks turned bright red whenever he spoke was adorable. How you doze off and let your mind wander only made Miguel curious. What could you be thinking of when he was standing before you?
"Lyla, could you find a way to contact (Y/N)? I want to add something to the list." Miguel demanded.
"Hmm," Lyla appeared and started to work, "Oh, looks like she is in recording mode with her AI. Let me patch us in-"
"Ly'a, don't! That's her-"
"Hah, ah~ M-Miguel..."
Miguel froze as Lyla hacked into your recording AI. His eyes widen and cock harden as you laid on your bed, fingered working furiously against your clit. Your body arching as you whimpered moans and cries of his name.
"Ah~ R-Right there....mhm~ h-harder M-Miguel...f-fill me up~!" You cried out before reaching your orgasm.
Miguel shuddered in awe as he watched your pussy spasm and clench to air. Your breathing heavy as you laid down to rest. You took a moment to sit up, whining softly before complaining that you needed to stop thinking about Miguel since he could never be yours.
Oh how wrong you were.
Miguel had Lyla turn everything off. He logged out and hurried out of Alchemax. How could he work when there was a beauty such as yourself desperate for his dick? Miguel had been wanting to make you his since the moment you spoke to him.
Hopefully you were ready for him.
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You laid on your bed, sniffing your thoughts away. Your recording ended much differently than you would like. Luckily it was your own personal diary, but you still should probably delete it in case something ever happens.
Upon hearing a knock at your door, you scurried to grab a robe. Who could it be at this late hour? Poking through your door peep hole, you gasped as Miguel stood in front of your door. Hurrying to open, you nearly forget about your exposed self,
"M-Miguel?! W-What....What are you doing here?" You asked with a squeak.
"Sorry-" Miguel glanced down at you, "I, um...came here without thinking."
"Oh...Well..." You could feel your heart racing a mile a minute, "W-Why don't you come in...let me get you some water."
---------
How could you be so carefree? There you were, in nothing but a robe, after just fucking yourself to him. If Miguel didn't have his spider powers this might have been a different scene playing out. Oh, the temptation to pin you against the counter and fuck you stupid.
"Actually...I need to confess something to you."
Miguel needed to control himself. Perhaps he could tease you a bit about what he saw. Perhaps he could make this a bit more natural and playful.
"Lyla-My AI, may have accidently showed me something that is confidential for you." Miguel said as he cleared his throat. The blood had drained from your face,
"L-Like?!"
"Like," Miguel smiled as he hovered over your trembling body, "You crying out so sweetly."
"Ah!" You covered your face as it turned bright red. Miguel leaned down, chuckling lowly,
"Who would have thought those hands of yours could move so fast?"
"M-Miguel-"
"I couldn't help but feel awful for putting you in such a....position," Miguel nibbled against your ear, hearing you whine, "Such a quiet girl making those noises...how naughty."
-------
You could feel your head spinning as Miguel pressed his body against yours. The warmth of his body engulfing yours as his voice whispered against your ear. Everything about this scene was making you wet.
"How long have you been thinking about me?" Miguel chuckled as his hands circled around your waist,
"Mhm~ A long time," You admitted, feeling flustered by his teasing.
"Oh? Do you touch yourself like that every night?"
Your robe was starting to come undone as your body went on full display for Miguel. His head against your head, causing you to press your chest against his.
"Y-Yes," You stuttered.
"How naughty."
Miguel chuckled once more as he kissed your neck. Your robe had fallen on the floor and Miguel's hands were firmly on your waist. His leg pushed forward, causing your pussy to sit against it. You whimpered a whine as he kept pushing his leg against your wet cunt.
"What an honest body," Miguel hummed as his hands grouped your breasts, "And here I was about to ask if you want me to stop."
"No." You begged before tugging against his sleeve, "Please...Please fuck me."
-------
This was heaven on earth. Never had you thought this moment was ever going to happen.
However, you expected it a lot faster and rougher than this.
"A-Ah~ M-Miguel~~" You cried out.
Miguel was hovered over your naked body like a god. Your legs were thrown over his shoulder and his cock was deep inside you. Miguel's body was even more perfect than you ever dreamed of. His dick was far bigger than your wildest dreams.
"Hm? Don't like it slow?" Miguel chuckled lowly as he slowly pulled out with a grunt, "Your pussy is sucking me in so much. Thought I give it a nice treat."
"Hah~ s-so deep..." You whimpered as he pushed himself back in.
Miguel's slow movements was making your body heated. The tight knot in your stomach was far different from what you've ever done to yourself. His dick was kissing every part of your pussy you didn't even know existed.
"Awe, about to cum?" Miguel asked as you shivered from his slow thrust.
You wanted him to ravish you. You wanted him to make you see stars, not make you go crazy. Gasping as Miguel rubbed your clit, you cried as you gushed all over his cock. Your walls sucking him in more, begging for him to fill you.
Miguel could only chuckle as he kissed your body. His hands roaming everywhere as you calmed down from your high. Miguel pressed his hips closer, hitting you deeper than what he was prior. You flung your head back, moaning in pleasure.
"Is this everything you've ever dreamed of?" Miguel asked with a soft pant.
"Mhm~"
You were squirming slightly as Miguel continued his slow, yet deep thrusts inside you. Your vision was slightly blurry as your body started to shiver, but you could have sworn that Miguel was groaning. He wanted to go faster too.
"M-Miguel...y-you can...mhm~ go r-rough~" You cooed. Miguel licked your neck, biting against it softly,
"You better not regret it then."
Before you could say a word, you gasped and moaned loudly as Miguel's pace became rough. His dick slamming into your gummy walls, making loud lewd sounds filled the room. Your juices soaking the bed sheets under you as he kept hitting that sweet spot you've gone nuts over.
Your moans became loud and pornographic as Miguel gave you no time to rest. You had cummed again, coating his cock white as he continued to ram into you. You body shaking and jolting with each thrust as your sensitivity grew.
"How lewd," Miguel groaned against your ear as his hips slapped into yours, "Don't know bout you, but I wouldn't mind getting used to this."
"Ah~ Mhm~ Y-Yes!" You cried out.
Miguel chuckled as you started to arch your back. Your expression getting more expressive as you started to get fucked out. Biting his lower lip, Miguel grunted as he bottomed out inside of you. His eyes sparkled as your mouth made a cute 'o' form.
"Now, how could I stop with just one?"
You gasped, gripping onto the bedsheets as Miguel flipped you over. Your head pressed against the pillow as he went balls deep inside you. Your body shaking in rhythm to his rough thrusts as you enjoyed the feeling of his cum pouring inside you.
"Ah~ Mig~"
You were in heaven. All you could focus on was how good your pussy felt with each thrust. How good Miguel was at hitting each sweet spot you had. You shook in pleasure as you felt Miguel cum inside you again, groaning to your moans.
"(Y/N), next time you think of me....call me so I can show you how to feel good."
"Yesh~" You cooed.
-------
Miguel chuckled as you fell asleep after his last load. Honestly, he could keep going with his stamina, but you weren't ready for that yet. Carefully picking you up, Miguel made sure to wash you up and change your bedsheets before tucking you in.
He may have went a little overboard. But you didn't mind. Smiling as he covered you in the blanket, Miguel kissed your head before heading out.
"See you tomorrow, (Y/N)."
Of course, Miguel took your panties home as a souvinier.
You weren't the only one who had wet dreams.
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Hope you enjoyed!
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dolldefiler · 17 days
Text
Masterlist Part 2
Degradation/ Humiliation (predominantly) Part 1
Making a girl edge in front of a camera
Making a girl drink loads and not allowing her to pee
Training you to edge to my posts everyday, no matter where
Jiggle your tits for me, you fleshlight
I bully you and make you drink my piss & eat my ass
Using you as my under-desk cocksleeve
My thoughts on petplay
Degrading you and jerking off to your pics online
I'm going to make your daddy issues worse (rapey)
Two girls competing for my harem
You're the one that made your man worse
You're not supposed to think (misogyny)
The difference between a girl and a dog (misogyny)
Degrading a girl for pissing over my fingers
Training a girl like I'd train a dog
I'll push my cock in deeper for every question you get wrong (dumbification)
Stripping away a woman's identity
Boss turns secretary into his bitch
You disgusting little porn addict (misogyny)
Be a good gender traitor
Fucking you while I talk to your father on the phone (rimming)
Denying a girl and then overstimming her
Worship me, even when you're tired
Taking your anal virginity (ft. piss)
Listen to your mistress (W|W)
Hole inspection with a man old enough to be your dad
Ass fucking her in front of a camera
Exploiting a girl's praise kink with gold stars (ft. piss)
You were made to be my porn
If you can't type, you're a dumb little bimbo
Corrupting you into being worse for me
It's okay to be my rapetoy (#UnicornSparkleSlut for more)
I know better than you (misogyny)
Edging yourself in a room full of other people
I write these posts for needy girls like you
You're just a pair of huge fucking tits, you cow
Of course you're a feminist
You're built for sex (mostly misogyny)
Cumming inside a virgin lesbian (dykebreaking)
Using a sex toy on you in public
Rub your wet boycunt
Fuck repenting when you can be mine
Be a good girl and squat for me
Secretary fucks his boss
Older women can be really fucking hot
You've never thought about anal before like this?
Degradation Part 2
You were born to be my slave
Teaching you to need my seed
Look at me with all that hate in your eyes
Stop moaning and start working
Watching a woman sink lower and lower
A lot of demands for someone who wants to be my slave
Lots of men would love to date a feminist. So would I.
You want to be degraded?
All sorts of girls message me
I'll train you with a clicker until you bark for me
I want a girl I can mutually obsess over
I love when a girl becomes something less
You're so inferior (cucky)
Being some vulnerable girl's therapist
Look at you edging away, phone in hand
Cheating/ Cuckquean
Responding to a cuck ask
Random incest/ cheating thought
I'll fuck you better than your boyfriend
Making you eat my ass in front of your friends
How you and I would turn her into a cuck
Fucking my daughter's ex-girlfriend (dykebreaking)
Cheating on her with you at dinner
Waking you up by jerking off to someone else (piss)
Cheating on you with a 'co-worker'
You encourage me to cuck you
Inviting her over for your birthday
Cheating with your boyfriend's best girl friend (W|W)
I'd convince you to let another woman into our bedroom
I want a blowjob from her friend
Fucking you in front of your boyfriend
I'll cheat on you because you're pathetic
Jerk me off while I look at her friend
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Note
AITA for scamming my ex out of an extremely valuable virtual pet?
🐓🥤to recognize. This might be a very long post with a lot of added context for a very niche hobby and a very small actual conflict.
I religiously play a virtual pet site called Chicken Smoothie. It's a pretty old site as far as virtual pet games go, starting back in 2008, so there is a pretty solid established site economy. Just for some context, Every pet on the site has a rarity, ranging from "OMG So Common" to "OMG So Rare", being the most common and most rare respectively. But there are rarities within those rarities, where some OMGSRs can be worth more than others based on species and demand. For example, an OMGSR dog from 2008 will be worth more than an OMGSR rat from 2008 despite being the same highest rarity and year, because people prefer the dogs over rats. These pets can get extremely valuable. You can't sell them for real money (according to site rules, but of course there's a black market), but the site has its own virtual currency you can buy (with real money) and trade for called Chicken Dollars, and you can also trade a valuable pet for other valuable pets. It gets very complicated, with the community coming up with its own set of value terms each pet can have. I'm not getting into specifics there, that's not important.
Every year, on December 18th, CS has gift boxes you can adopt from. These gift boxes can contain any rare pet from any previous year, including special "Unreleased pets" that you can only get from these Dec 18th boxes, with a very slim chance. These unreleased pets are some of the most valuable and rarest in the game.
Recently, I had seen my ex posting on the forums. I didn't know he had an account, he had made it within this year, long after I got the fuck away from him, and I only knew it was him because he uses the same username everywhere. This person had groomed me, physically abused me when we were together (we no longer live anywhere near each other, thankfully) and has always been emotionally manipulative. He does not know I play, and he wouldn't recognize my account as me. I took a note of his account and left it be for a while, until December 18th hit and I took a peek at what he had got. And what he got was one of the new Unreleased pets, which currently at the time of writing this only looks like a box of cereal. (Most pets on the site have growth stages.) And even better, all his groups were open for trade, so I took a chance and sent an extremely terrible trade. I told him that this pet would only be a recent rare, and I offered him a "Very Rare" rarity (but not very valuable) pet from 2018, telling him I was overpaying. (In the CS community, this is known as Ninjaing, and it's Not A Good Thing To Do). I didn't expect him to accept it, I at least thought he'd be smart enough to ask in the trade advice thread that is literally pinned on the home page for December 18th, but he didn't. He took my word for it and accepted the trade, and now I own an unreleased pet that will eventually end up as an OMGSR.
What I did was not a bannable offence. He will not get his unreleased pet back. The CS mods are laughable at worst, incompetent at best, and don't do anything to stop scamming. They have an "eh, sucks to be you, sorry, be smarter next time" mentality when people get scammed (Which is insane because there are literal single digit aged children allowed on this site!!!)
After taking a bit to think about it, I do feel a bit guilty because I really would not do this in any other circumstances. I hate scamming. I did what I did out of anger and contempt, and I do feel a bit guilty because in essence, I scammed a new player that didn't have much else and didn't know any better.
I'm still keeping that unreleased cereal box no matter what though
What are these acronyms?
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sunsetsimon · 8 months
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a couple of dad!simon headcanons ♡
- hello! i'm sun, and this is my new writing account! i haven't written properly in years, so please go easy on me!
simon “ghost” riley x fem!reader
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☼ simon never imagined having a family of his own. even after the first few years of being together, the thought never crossed his mind. until your best friend had a baby...
your best friend was visiting with her newborn and seeing you holding the baby flipped a switch in his head. you smiled and cooed at him, causing the baby to flash a toothless smile. there was a twinkle in your eye that he hadn’t noticed before and he pictured you glowing so beautifully as you held your own daughter, a mini version of you and him all in one. he didn’t bring it up for weeks as he thought it through himself. was having a family even possible for him? was he just being selfish?
☼ it comes up one day after you notice he’d been unusually quiet while spending time together. he wasn’t the most talkative, but he enjoyed conversations with you, even joking here and there.
“is everything okay, si? you’ve been extra quiet today.”
“hmm, yeah. just been zoning off.” he shrugs, unsure how to approach the subject. he knows you would listen but he doesn’t know how he’d react if your answer was no.
deciding rejection is better than never knowing, he sharply inhales, “have you ever thought about having children?”
the question throws you off, certainly random for a guy who doesn’t speak much of the future. you sit for a second debating your answer, and simon’s chest clenches in anxious anticipation.
“i have a few times, nothing too serious though. it never seems like there’s a good time for us.”
he nods in agreement, “been thinking about it these days. maybe it’s something we can consider.”
☼ needless to say, you both decide after many conversations and more time, that expanding your family is something you’re open to. you stop your contraception soon after and begin trying. he becomes even more attentive, constantly checking in with you and doing plenty of research on how to make your pregnancy easy. he gets you anything you want - whenever you want. and back and foot massages become part of your everyday routine.
☼ recognizes that he won't always be around because of his extremely demanding work. he checks in whenever he can, even writing letters if he has to. it breaks his heart having to miss doctor appointments and weekly milestones with you, but you always know he tries his absolute best for you two.
☼ simon loves skin to skin contact for the first few months. he loves to lay with her against his chest and drift off to the tv while you take a quick shower. he finds himself just watching her a lot, trying to memorize every movement her tiny body makes.
☼ soooo protective. no kisses, no pets, no sick people, doesn’t allow anything that could be of risk near her. he always has the two of you in his sight, preferring to push the stroller as you walk on the side of him.
☼ he's not one to care for style, so you do the main planning for the nursery. he builds all of the furniture for you while you watch. he looks so hot in his grey sweats and a black t-shirt that you can't help but distract him a few times.
☼ it's a hard adjustment for him having to return for a mission after she's born. he spends his entire last day holding and watching her, a sad slouch in his shoulders.
"gonna miss you so much, darlin. i'll be back as soon as i can," he whispers, gently kissing her forehead before handing her back to you. simon's hands grip your waist, pulling you in close to kiss you deeply before resting his forehead against yours. "i need my girls to stay safe. ill update you when i can, dove."
whenever he can, he scrolls though his videos on his phone just to see her face. her eyes twinkle brighter than any star to him and a slight smile creeps under his mask.
☼ relieves you from baby care when he can tell you’re exhausted. sighing and pulling yourself out of bed when crying erupts through the baby monitor. he doesn’t get up at first, but when the crying continues for a minute, he comes to check on you. he pushes the door cracked door open, revealing you desperately hushing and bouncing her in your arms. your eyes are tired and heavy, wishing for a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.
“i got ‘er. go back to bed love,” simon says, taking his baby girl into his arms.
you give him a weak smile and a thankful squeeze at his arm, walking straight to bed without another peep. he holds her close to his chest as he sits down in the chair, propping her neck up as he stares down at her. her eye color matches his, but she resembles you more and more everyday. he’s enamored by her, his beautiful little girl that he created with the love of his life.
she quiets down shortly, falling back asleep in his arms as he rocks her slowly. his own eyes grow heavy, and he sets her down in her crib before returning back to bed. he climbs in behind you, pulling your back to his chest and planting a soft kiss on the side of your neck.
“if she wakes up again i’ll take care of it. you just sleep darling,” simon whispers, receiving a hum in response from you as you snuggle into him.
he takes care of his girls so well.
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2-fast-2-curious · 2 months
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Lando Being Besties with Your Chinese Grandma
A/N: I never write anymore but IDK something about seeing Lando with Alex's grandma made me think about Lando charming a less problematic version of my own Asian grandma. Also none of this is supposed to be taken seriously.
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Somehow you swiftly moved from 'being too young to date' to your grandma asking when you're going to get married every time she sees you
She brings up how proud she is of your female cousins for finding a 'nice boy' and settling down
She offers multiple times to set you up with one of her friend's grandsons who she claims has a good job and a mortgage
When you complain to Lando, this amuses him...a lot
Especially since there's a very simple solution to stop her incessant nagging
Needless to say, she doesn't know about you and Lando
You and Lando are private but not secret
Since your grandma only uses Instagram to look at pictures of her great-grandkids, you didn't think you would risk her looking at F1 Gossip accounts and seeing blurry photos of you and Lando
Lando's met your parents and siblings but you weren't planning on introducing him to your extended family
What you didn't expect was to run into one of your grandmother's friends doing taichi at the park when you and Lando went for a stroll
Word got back to your grandma
She demanded to know who this mysterious man was
Which was how Lando ended up invited to your next family dinner
I'm going to be very honest here, Lando doesn't eat anything at dinner because he has the palette of a five-year-old
But he makes a good impression on your grandma
Also, you two visit the McDonalds Drive-Thru after dinner to get him McNuggets.
One day your grandma calls and complains she can't watch Price is Right on the TV
Since you're working and Lando is bored you send Lando over to provide tech support
Also helps her download games on her iPad and maybe secretly purchases extra Candy Crush lives for her using his credit card
And teaches her how to Facetime her grandkids much to the chagrin of you and your cousins
It isn't long until his charm wins her over
He spends the rest of the day watching Wheel of Fortune and Deal or No Deal with her while she crochets a hat for him
She always has a red envelope to give him
He drives her and her friends to the casino
And the Asian grocery store or your local Chinatown
Powerwashes the side of her house which he claims is just like the video game
Your grandma always makes sure to order him basic stuff at the restaurant that he'll eat like egg fried rice or beef and broccoli or chicken chow mein.
She also snaps at your cousins who try to eat the food she ordered specifically for Lando.
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lv2mt · 30 days
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hungry
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this is my first time writing smut feel free to give me any tips☺️
the sun was reflecting of his skin, sweat was dripping off his body, the way he would bite his lips out of frustration. you was mesmerized by the married man in font of you.
you had known art for a couple of years you both meet up a lot there has never been sexual tension between you and art but recently he's all you've ever needed.
art finished his practice and you both went back to his car, for some reason the car drive was silent but you didn't mind because being with him just made your mind go to the most dirtiest imagination.
"y/n?" art said breaking the silence "yeah" i took my eyes of the window to look at him, he looked frustrated like he needed something. "i need to talk to you about something" he looked back at me but his eyes travelled to my lips then back on the road.
my body knew what he wanted and it turned me on even more. "sure what's up?" his hand gripped on the wheel making his hand pop out in veins. "this tension between us, i can't help but want you" i was shocked hearing that come out his mouth but it made me hungry for him.
i didn't know what to say i wanted him to have me, do anything to me but i just couldn't think of how to word it. "this tension i feel it your all i can think about but you have a wife art i don't want to ruin that for you" i said still looking at him but then looked out the window to notice he's pulled up in some empty parking lot.
he turned his head to look at me, his eyes was cold like he was demanding that he wanted me. “don’t worry about her” his tone of voice sounded so careless but it was attractive.
i couldn’t hold it in anymore i took the lead and kissed him, his lips was soft our lips just felt meant for each other like a jigsaw piece.
he slipped his tongue in my mouth, one hand traveling to my hips as the other on my cheek. our breaths filling up the car, all i could think about was him in me i needed it, i needed it now.
“you don’t know how much i’ve been needing this” art said in between kissing, “oh yea baby” his lips moving down to my neck marking it as his and i loved it.
he pulled back his seat and i sat on his lap his hand traveling up my summer dress, his fingers rubbing my heat feeling the wetness of my panties. “already this wet hm” his voice sounded so hot “mhm”
his fingers now in me, at first he was going slow i knew what he wanted, he wanted me to beg and that’s what i did “art go faster please” he smiled looking at me, mesmerised by the woman who’s begging for him. his pace fastens even putting another finger up me, my head on his chest moaning.
“you feel so good” i try to say “oh yea?” art replies back then slowing his pace and pulling out his fingers, he then continues to lick the cum of them, i needed him in me i couldn’t wait much longer but he already knew that.
i lifted up a bit so he could take his shorts and boxers off while i took my thong off, we didn’t have a condom but i was on the pill so that didn’t matter. “you ready baby” he asked i nodded in approval.
his big dick going in me stretching me out, my eyes watering from the slight pain but that soon went as i started to thrust on him making us both moan.
the car shaking making it obvious what we was doing on the outside but we didn’t care, the thought of us getting caught just made it even more sexy.
our lips numbing from the force of us making out. “y/n i’m gonna cum” them words coming out his mouth triggered me to go even faster. hearing the moans and grunts coming out his mouth was like listening to music.
the faster i got the more closer we both was so coming it wouldn’t take long now. his hands gripped on my waist and his head rolled back leaving a empty space on his neck, i kissed all down it making one of his hand grip on my hair.
a couple of minutes went by and i felt his warm load in me and mine on his. he was still in me but we was still, not moving and now just catching our breaths. i lifted myself back up making his dick exit me.
he put his boxer and shorts back on n i put my panties back on making us now clothed again. “your neck” art said shocked of what he did, i moved and sat back in the passenger seat getting my phone and looking in the camera.
my eyes widened the trail of hickeys all down my neck “oh my god art!” i said but i didn’t bother me it shows that i am now his. we both laughed about my neck “i guess i was just in the moment to even realise” we both just laughed and smiled at each other.
“that was fun” i said hoping to get the same response back “we should do it again be our little secret” i once again nodded my head as approval and he gave me a peck on my head.
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siscon-stsg · 1 month
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Hi 💖 would ya write momson with satoru? Please 💗
(CW: incest, bratty and spoiled 'toru, mommy kink obsly, idk is satoru a dom or a bottom in this? can't tell you but he whines and whimpers a lot. he's kinda pathetic tbh. titplay, mentions of pregnancy cuz of toru's lactation kink, oral (f and m receiving), unprotected sex, toru getting pussydrunk, belly bulge, creampie)
thank you anon thank you SO FUCKING MUCH. i swear if satoru called me "mommy" my pussy would vibrate so hard it'd come off. ~BLOSSOM
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MAMA'S BOY!TORU who makes you wonder who is the parent in the relationship. not because he's more responsible and grounded than you, god forbid. but because, god knows how, you always end up agreeing to everything he says instead of the other way around. you could say “no” a thousand times but next thing you know, one pout later, you're saying “yes”.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who loves acting like a brat only so you'd scold him. (he deffo doesn't get off to it...)
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who is the clingiest mf imaginable. he doesn't care if he's a grown ass man who towers over most people, he still walks around holding your hand when you're out and demands to go everywhere you go.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who showers you with gifts and luxury and everything you want. a vacation to some expensive beaches in a remote touristic island? he'd have the tickets the next day. a whole week at a stay-in spa? he's always wanted to go to those! you mention in passing that you need to buy a dress for an event? your whole closet is getting renewed by the end of the week.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who still calls you “mommy” and “mama” and no, don't argue him on this.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who also demands to be called all the petnames under the sun. call him by his name and he'd get pissy and bratty.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who loves hugging you while you just do stuff. his favorite is definitely wrapping his arms around your waist, burying his face in the crook of your neck, and complaining about his coworkers and fellow sorcerers while you cook or work.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who starts getting handsy. his hands would rub at your hips, nuzzling into your neck as he plays this off as “making sure mommy's hips are not sore”.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who presses into you from behind, trapping you between the counter and his large frame.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who whimpers like a big baby when you lightly smack his hand with a wooden spoon for squeezing your breasts. and he answers with a whiney: “but moommyyyy, so meaaan!” while sliding his hands under your top. “pleeease, 'm all stressed out from training. you never pay attention to me! just this onceee?”
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who hauls you over the counter as soon as you, expectedly, say yes, and latches his mouth to your nipple. if he can squish your breasts together and suckle on both then he'll turn into a whiny, needy mess.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who tells you he “might give himself a little brother” only so he can slurp the milk from your sweet titties again. and no, he wouldn't share!
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who's obsessed with your pretty pussy. he's so sloppy because he doesn't know if he wants to tongue you or finger you or do both of those at the same time. “mama's pussy's so sweet,” he'd say, shoving his face between your legs.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who'd get you all squirmy and whiney and overstimulate you, almost on accident, from how needy he is. and still would pout up at your barely coherent self and beg you to use your mouth on him too.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who loves the sight of his mommy's plushy lips all stretched out around his cock. “deeper, d'per please,” he'd whimper, holding the back of your head with one big slender hand while his hips buck at your rhythm.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who'd edge himself on purpose on your mouth, then beg through tears to please please please let him fuck your cunny.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who holds you open on the counter, moaning around your nipples as he pounds into you. he'd babble the most needy things, getting mad pussydrunk on his mama's slick and pulsing hole. “s-so hot, mama's pussy's suckin' me in s'good! feel it 'n 'r tummy!” MAMA'S BOY!TORU who's obsessed with the bulge his cock makes on your pretty belly, who presses down on it with some sort of debauched fondness while rutting into your like an animal.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who's a sweaty, crying, flushed, loud, disheveled mess of a son. grinning down at his screaming, shaking mommy before diving into her mouth with a kiss.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who sobs “i love you mommy”s against your lips, slurping the drool from your tongue as his pace turns sloppy and sluggish and hard and deep.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who begs and begs and smooches you and nuzzles your cheek as he just pleads you let him cum inside.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who says, “mommy'sso g'd, can' pull out! pl'se please pl'ase d'n make me p'll out mama, please please please please!” getting louder and whinier and rougher and faster with each plea.
MAMA'S BOY!TORU who fills up your womb regardless, because he's your petty prince and you're his sweet, spoiling mama. 🩷
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buckyalpine · 3 months
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18+ mindless rambling. I've been in such an absolute slump and idk what I want. Do I want to finish requests, finish works in progress, do nothing and think about sucking Bucky's dick and balls, even when it's soft after he's finished cause he'd be all sensitive and his cock would be all precious and pink between thighs I want to ride and recently I've had this thing with scent? It is tmi to say I'd want to bury my entire fucking face between his legs and like choke on his balls if I could and he'd smell like soap and musk and whatever is distinctly him. I said what I said and I'm sorry, idk, is this what it's like to be in heat? What is this thing I have with wanting to just hold his balls, bb just let me pet them, I'll be gentle I promise. Y'know? Or maybe you're normal so you don't know. That's fine too.
Or maybe I want to write about that idea I had with Sharon planting evidence to make it look like he's cheating on you cause she wants him all to herself.
Or maybe the idea where you have a mission where you had to pretend to be a couple and the enemy is right beside you hotel so you have to really sell those sexy noises but Bucky figures why pretend when he can really make you scream. Bonus points for the team who has bugs planted and they go from damn they're really good at pulling off that role to guys I think they're actually fucking, cut the cameras.
Or the idea I had when I first woke up where Bucky thinks getting his cock sucked is the absolute most intimate thing ever? Because his angel has his most private and sensitive places in her mouth just to make him feel good? It drives him wild because hello, she is so pretty and she's doing all these magic things with her tongue just to make him moan and it's working. It's working so well, he's making a mess in her mouth with how much precum he's leaking? FFS Then she goes and takes his balls in her mouth and its game over for him; most people brush off a blow job like it's nothing but for him? His pretty baby wants his dick in that sweet mouth of hers? He loves penetrative sex btw, a lot, but this? It's just so special for him and he loves every moment of it. Eyes closed. Back arching. Feet planted. Legs spread. Jaw slack. Head thrown back. Whole body nearly squirming on the bed. Savoring every second.
Or fuck it, maybe I want a nasty nasty Bucky. Now this one may be a tad bit too far thought I have sort of wrote about it before but super territorial Bucky. Jealous Bucky. Bucky who drags you off to his room and strips you down to nothing, pulling his cock out while keeping his clothes on, jerking off and cumming all over your body just to mark you. I'm talking spread out on the floor while he towers over you and demands you to spread your legs open so he can make a mess anywhere he pleases.
I can't write, can't finish anything for shit rn, also why have I just not updated my masterlist?? tf.
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