#But it needs to be acknowledged that their relationship was mutually toxic and also she needs to be able to fucking

[robocops-a-christ-allegory]

I miss my wife tails

#Its like. I dont want it to sound like I think Marlene has to like the boys #But it needs to be acknowledged that their relationship was mutually toxic and also she needs to be able to fucking #do things again. #Marlene isnt someone who got dragged down by Marc she had her own problems and definitely still does because #shes never gotten to have any fucking permanent character development or anything. Like lets go into how she lost her brother and father- #both within the span of a year. like fuck #Also I know using these old ass Moench Screenshots makes my point a little worse but I didnt #want to get the scene of her beating people up from the 2006 run but thats also a example of how shes able to DO SHIT #STOP HAVING HER JUST SIT AROUND NOW FUCK.

[cherryflavoured7777]

Do you miss me, dear? [h.c]

Summary: Stuck at a graduation party, surrounded by memories of your past relationship and your own loneliness, your night takes an unexpected turn when you find yourself dialing the number of the one person you vowed you wouldn't contact.

Pairing: College!Hazel x College!Fem!Reader 

Contains: smut 18+ only, explicit language, drinking, smoking, mutual pining, slightly toxic reader I think, fingering (r! receiving), oral(r! receiving), break-up/make-up sex, idiots in love, this one gets straight-up MUSHY I’m not gonna lie

Word count: 4.1k

a/n: I just need to say I am deeply obsessed with all of you who interacted with either of my last two fics. reading your comments/ replies seriously makes me SO happy you have no idea. Got me giggling and shit fr! I don’t know why my writing always ends up including partying and drinking but maybe it’s because I just graduated college and am having an existential post-grad crisis. Anyway 💀I hope you enjoy and thank you again for reading!!!

Also, this is inspired by this song by one of my favourite bands:  

“I don’t know what I’m still doing here.” You say out loud to yourself, standing up from the musty green couch you were sitting on. An empty beer bottle falls from the cushion onto the ground, shattering into pieces beside your foot. 

This party sucked. Pushing your way through the crowded, stuffy kitchen, you couldn't shake off the feeling of suffocation. Tipsy couples entangled in each other's arms seemed to be everywhere, a painful reminder of what you once had and lost. The memories of being that annoying person in love at a party flooded back, amplifying the ache of your loneliness.

The thumping music in your ears only made your head pound harder. Desperate for a breath of fresh air, you stumbled toward the door, ignoring the intoxicated laughter and clinking glasses that filled the air. As you stepped outside, the cool night breeze hit your face, offering a momentary rescue from the overwhelming atmosphere inside.

The darkness of the night sky above seemed to swallow you whole, but it felt strangely comforting. Leaning against the porch railing, you closed your eyes, trying to regain your composure. In the silence outside, you could hear distant laughter and the faint sound of music, muffled by the walls of the house.

You settled into a seat around a glass table, next to a guy you recognized from one of your classes. You exchanged a quick nod of acknowledgment before reaching into your purse, retrieving a box of cigarettes. Smoking was not a regular habit for you, but you reserved it for moments like these—after a few drinks and a growing sense of irritation. 

You lit the end of the cigarette, watching it crackle, and took a long drag. As you exhaled the smoke, you tilted your head back, noticing the full moon glowing brightly above.

"Full moon tonight," the boy beside you remarked, his voice carrying a note of intrigue. "They say some crazy shit can happen on full moons."

You chuckled bitterly. "Yeah, well, that could explain why I'm stuck at this party right now."

He leaned back, studying you intently. 

“I wish I could be an astronaut and get the fuck out of here.” You mused, gaze fixed on the bright glow of the moon. "I only came to this party because she said she would be here." Another drag of the cigarette punctuated your words.

"Who's she?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"My ex," you replied, trying to seem nonchalant. His gaze was fixed on you, "Hazel."

-

Until today, you hadn't spoken to Hazel in over three months, choosing to cut off all contact in an attempt to speed up the process of moving on. You're both surprised that you managed to endure the silence for so long, and disappointed that she hasn't made any effort to reach out, not even once. 

That was until about six hours ago when you were sitting at a coffee shop on campus with your roommate, Brittany, studying for your upcoming statistics exam. 

"Don't look now, but Hazel just walked in," she whispers, her tone hushed, and her eyes widening. "And she's with another girl."

Your heart plummeted into your stomach. You were seated with your back to the door, and you watched as they both approached the corner, heading in your direction.

"Brittany!" the blonde girl accompanying Hazel exclaims, leaving the three of you momentarily stunned.

Hazel follows a few steps behind, clearly taken aback by the encounter. She looked annoyingly hot, her disheveled brown hair, baggy white t-shirt and black jeans, adorned with her signature silver chains and rings. It takes all your strength not to stare. 

"Hey, Amanda," Brittany replied, forcing a polite smile. "Hazel."

Hazel offers a nod in greeting to Brittany and then to you. You feel like a middle-schooler again, awkward and unsure of how to act around your crush.

"Did you manage to finish that paper for Professor Sharpe's class?" the girl asked. 

As Brittany carries on the conversation with Amanda, you can feel Hazel's gaze on you, catching her eyes occasionally. 

You never anticipated the aftermath of your breakup with Hazel to be this awkward. All those nights spent tangled up together, where you both believed you could read each other's minds, now reduced to this.

"So, Hazel, are you going to Emma’s graduation party tonight? All of us are going," Brittany chimed in, attempting to steer the conversation away from the obvious tension.

Hazel smiled sheepishly, replying, "Yeah, I’m going."

"Cool," Brittany replied, her smile masking the underlying awkwardness in the air.

A beat of uncomfortable silence hung between you all.

"Will you be there?" Hazel asked breaking the silence, turning toward you, her voice almost hesitant.

"Yeah, I'll be there," you said, mustering a small smile. "Wouldn’t want to miss it."

Hazel smiled, "Cool," she said, her voice soft, "I'll see you there then."

Just as the atmosphere began to ease, Amanda abruptly intervened, her grip firm on Hazel's hand. "Hazel, let’s go, I forgot something in my car," Amanda said, her tone strangely possessive, and she dragged Hazel away before you could utter another word.

-

This breadcrumb of information has led you here. You spent the first fifteen minutes at the party searching for her like a lost puppy. When you couldn't find her, you contemplated leaving but opted to drown your thoughts with tequila shots instead. Now, you're clinging to any scrap of attention you can find, desperately trying to purge her from your mind.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the male voice beside you. "D’you have a light?" he asked, his cigarette aimed in your direction. You stare at him for a moment, deadpan, still frozen in your thoughts from the events that unfolded earlier today. 

"Fuck it," you muttered under your breath, reaching for your phone. You’re calling her.

-

“You’re soaked,” Hazel says as you climb into the front seat of her car, her tone a mix of concern and annoyance. “Seriously, you’re getting mud all over the floor of my car.” While you were waiting for Hazel to pick you up from the party, It started raining, you thought enduring it outside would be better than being stuffed in that small house full of people you didn't even really know. 

“You lied.” You retort back. 

“What?”

“You said you were coming to the party.” 

“Yeah well, my plans changed. Put your seatbelt on.” As she shifted the car into reverse, she placed her hand on your seat to steady herself. With a quick glance over your shoulder, she backed out of the driveway in one brisk movement.

You attempted to keep your composure, trying not to make it entirely obvious that you were basically drooling over how hot she looked doing that.  

“I can tell that there’s someone else,” You say after a few moments of silence, trying to disguise your jealousy with innocent curiosity. “Come on, tell me,” You finally click your seatbelt into place. “I can take it well.” 

"Oh, I know you can," she replied, shooting you a smug look, trying to divert this conversation from getting too deep right now.

“Hazel.” You groan at her dumb attempt at an innuendo, throwing your head backward and hitting the headrest. “Just be honest. Is it the girl from the coffee shop earlier? Or what about the girl Isabel saw you with last week at the library? Or both? Who am I kidding, there’s probably even more than that.”

“Do you have like, personal spies assigned to watch over me?”

You don’t respond right away, deciding to avoid her questions like she’s avoiding yours. You crank the window open and throw your head out. The spring wind cool on your face. 

“God, you’re so annoying sometimes.”

She’s quiet for a moment. 

Look, I know I wasn't where I said I'd be, but I was busy, doing stuff," she replied defensively.

"Yeah," you scoffed, your words tinged with a hint of anger. "I'm sure you were."

You sit the next few minutes in silence, wondering if this whole thing was a bad idea. You couldn't pinpoint why you had called her in the first place. The intensity of seeing her earlier mixed with the disappointment of the lackluster party had left you missing her, even though you weren't entirely sure why.

"So, where am I taking you?" Hazel asked, her gaze shifting from the road to you. Strands of her brown hair were tousled by the wind.

Your buzz had faded, and with it, your initial courage waned. Swallowing hard, you hesitated before speaking. "Can I sleep at yours? Not— not like that," you hurriedly clarified, feeling a sudden need to explain. "It's just that Brittany has her new boyfriend over, and I could go back there, but I don’t really want to."

“Yeah, yeah. Of course.” 

After a moment, Hazel hesitantly rested her hand on your thigh, both of you aware of the significance of the touch, even if neither acknowledged it. Her fingers gave a gentle squeeze, the subtle pressure made your tummy flip. Beneath the surface, an unspoken understanding lingered, hinting that this night might entail more than just a ride home.

-

Hazel's apartment is full of brown moving boxes, an aching reminder of why you broke up in the first place. 

“Wow, this place is pretty much all packed up.” You say, slowly walking through the place, eventually landing at the doorway into her bedroom. 

She nods in response, her face reflecting a mixture of anticipation and sadness, settling down at the end of her bed.

"So, when do you leave?" The question weighed heavily on your heart as you voiced it. You wished you didn't have to ask these questions, yearning for a time when you were part of her plans, not just a spectator.

“Two weeks. My Aunt is gonna meet me at JFK and help me move into my new place.”

You sighed, feeling brave, "I wish I had the date circled on my calendar, helping you move, or going with you." You say the last part quiet, mostly to yourself.

The conversation lingered in the air, a bittersweet reminder of what could have been.

You walked over to her dresser, where a mirror was propped up, decorated with photos of you two from a photobooth, still clinging to the glass. Your heart swelled with mixed emotions.

Hazel says your name, breaking you from your trance. 

“Come here,” she says. 

You walk over slowly, standing between her legs. Your hands rest on her shoulders and you take a deep breath.

With both of your gazes locked, her hands came up behind your thighs, gently grabbing them and pulling them on either side of her one by one so you’re straddling her. Her hand comes up to brush a piece of hair from your face. 

“You’re so beautiful, baby” Her voice is barely a whisper as she stares up at you, her eyes practically shimmering with your reflection, Her hands settle on your waist, the warmth of her touch sending a pang of guilt through you. This breakup was unlike any you'd experienced before, and the raw emotions lingered, making you hesitate for a moment.

Your hands move up to cradle her face, your thumb dragging on her bottom lip. Still maintaining intense eye contact, you slowly slip your finger into her mouth, watching her with a mix of awe and longing.

The silence as you stare at each other is anything but awkward. It was charged with the weight of shared mourning, each of you navigating the complexity of a relationship's end.

You removed your finger, and in response, she grabbed your head gently, guiding it down towards her face, her eyes locked onto yours. Your lips barely grazed each other, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she could hear your rapid heartbeat. Hazel kissed you slowly at first, the touch of her lips sending a rush through your entire body. It quickly escalated, and there was a certain neediness to the way you both kissed, scared it could be the last time.

"Missed you," She whispered against your lips. Your mouths slid together, tongues pressing and exploring. The intensity of the kiss speaks volumes, like you were making up for lost time. Her lips found their way to your neck, leaving a trail of hot, lingering kisses, setting your body on fire. 

“Fuck, Hazel.” It was almost embarrassing how quickly you melted beneath her touch. “We shouldn’t be doing this,” You say, your voice strained, a soft moan escaping your lips. You very much wanted to be doing this, you just thought you should at least try to seem like you had stronger breakup morals than you did. Her hands found the curve of your ass, and you instinctively started to rock your hips slowly back and forth, seeking some much-needed friction. 

"Do you want me to stop? Say the word, and I'll stop, pretty girl," she murmured against your neck, her open-mouthed kisses and gentle suction on your pulse point sending shivers down your spine. You didn't reply with words, but your fingers found her hair, silently urging her to continue. "I need an answer, babygirl," 

"Don't stop," you breathed, your voice catching in your throat. "Please, don't stop." Your hips still lazily moving on her. Her mouth was back on yours, deepening the kiss as she guided you both down, her hands roaming over the back of your legs and your ass. She tugged at the hem of your shirt, helping you out of it and leaving you in your black lace bra.  

"So fucking perfect. Missed you so fucking much," she confessed, 

"I missed you too, Haze, every day," you whined, 

"You ever think about me? she asked, breathless. "About this?" she continued 

You nodded, your breath hitching as you confessed, "All the time. Couldn't stop thinking about you, your hands, your mouth."

Her eyes darken as you sit up and effortlessly unhook your bra, leaning back down, your lips finding their way to her collarbone, marking a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses along her skin. Your hands slowly creep their way up under her shirt, seeking permission. She nods, a silent affirmation, and you gently peel her shirt off over her head. Your stomach flips as you feel her arms effortlessly turn both of you over, trading places, landing on your back as she hovers over you. Her silver chain dangling above your face. It felt like your first time all over again, you felt a sense of shyness creeping over you under her gaze. Anticipation and excitement blooming in your chest.

“Fuck, look at you.” She says. The way she’s studying you makes you feel like the most beautiful thing to ever exist, as if every curve of your body is a masterpiece deserving of praise. Unable to contain your impatience, you pull her head down to meet your lips, your hips instinctively bucking up, frustration showing in the heated moment. Her fingers start to trail downwards under your skirt, meeting your clothed cunt. “You want me to fuck you? Hm?” She whispers in your ear, “Is that what you want baby?” She taunts, her fingers slowly grazing over your underwear. 

You nod vigorously, your enthusiasm evident. She responds by sucking on your neck again, sending shivers down your spine, your face flushed with heat. Your hands instinctively tug at her hair.

“Yes, Haze, please, fuck.” You arch your neck, pressing it firmly into the softness of the pillow beneath, a small gasp escaping your lips as you surrender to the moment. “Want your fingers inside of me.”

She makes a noise of desperation, her warm breath fanning over your face. “Gonna make you feel so good baby” She moves your underwear to the side, running her fingers through your slick folds. You gasp and she groans. “Wanna make it up to you.”

She tugs at the waistband of your skirt. You lift your hips as she guides it down along with your underwear. Hazel curses under her breath, “You’re so wet, it’s so fucking hot.” She plants kisses all over your chest, each one feeling like it could set you on fire. 

She slowly fucks you with her middle finger, the touch leaving you reeling. She adds her ring finger, her free hand snaking under your neck. Her fingers gently grab the side of your face while she fucks you, slightly tugging and grazing them against your parted lips. It's an intimate gesture, conveying both tenderness and desire.

Your hips buck up to meet her fingers. “Holy fuck” you groan as she pumps them faster into you. “Like that,” your voice is completely shot. Your entire body fizzed from the contact. You gently bite down on her fingers near your mouth while she places kisses all over your cheeks and your lips. Your head spun with thoughts of her - her mouth, her hair, her scent, Hazel was everywhere, all-encompassing. 

“Fuck, you’re so good” She half slurs, her voice wrecked, pupils blown and her lips parted. “So good for me.” She whispers, keeping her pace, dragging her digits through the wetness at your core.

Her mouth makes its way down your body, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses until she’s on her stomach between your thighs. Pumping faster, her lips suck at your clit. Her other hand presses down on your abdomen, holding you in place. You cup your aching tits, feeling them move with every motion she makes.

“Hazel,” you whine, “Haze, I-” Her fingers pick up the pace, curling inside of you. You tread your fingers through her hair, tugging slightly, the coil in your tummy growing tighter and tighter. 

“I know, honey, I know,” She says in response to your moans. “You sound so pretty baby, missed those sounds so much.” She keeps babbling, telling you how good you are and how pretty you look for her. 

“Fuck, don’t stop” you moan as she continues fucking you with her mouth and fingers, her pace alternating between teasing and fast, pushing you toward the edge. The contrast in her movements intensifies the pleasure, almost giving you want you want but flaking at the last moment, it’s torture.

“Shit, you’re almost there sweetheart” Hazel swears under her breath, voice laced with her own arousal. Her words drive you closer to the edge. You swear you can see stars as the overwhelming feeling shocks through your body. Your heart rate picks up immensley, pounding in your chest.

“Gonna come for me baby, yeah?” “Want you to come all over these fingers.” 

And you did. Your body clenches around her fingers, trembling, moans and curses spilling from your lips. Your eyes form with tears from the overstimulation. Her face landed in the crook of your neck, planting sloppy kisses and whispering reassurances as she guides you through the climax.

“Good girl, that’s it, honey. That’s it,” she murmurs.

Her fingers still slowly pumping in and out of you, riding out your high.

“Holy shit," you say once you've caught your breath. "Haze, c'mere." She lifts her head back up and you yank her face down to yours, tasting yourself on her lips as she lets out a soft moan. When you eventually pull away, both breathless, you lock eyes before bursting into disbelieving laughter.

“I can’t believe that just happened.” You whisper.

"I can," she says smugly. You playfully shove her before she collapses beside you. Both of you lie face to face, studying each other's features, committing them to memory, afraid you might forget what they look like. Her hand rests on your waist, mindlessly grazing up and down.

"What's the real reason you didn't come to the party? You ask. Were you with someone else?" Hazel shakes her head.

She pauses before speaking, "I thought if there was any chance of you being there, that I was gonna walk in and maybe see you with someone else. There was no way I could've handled that. I've been distracting myself with other girls, yeah, but..." Her voice trails off. "You have no idea how in love with you I still am." Her voice cracking with emotion. You can see a tear forming in Hazel’s eye, glimmering in the low light of the room.

“Hazel..” Your own voice slightly breaking. You reach out and drag your thumb delicately against her cheek, wiping the stray tear away. Your heart is breaking with a mixture of guilt and longing for the girl lying beside you.

“I still play pretend, in my head.” She whispers.

You smile, your hand resting on her neck, giving it a gentle squeeze, a signal of encouragement for her to keep going. 

“I picture us, living together in our apartment in the city.” 

Hazel was moving to New York City to work for her aunt after graduation. The reason you broke up, neither of you wanting to do long distance.

“Waking up next to you everyday, cooking you breakfast, fucking you on the countertop for hours” You both laugh at that. “Ever since I met you, I’ve always pictured you just being there. And these past few months…” 

“Absolute hell.” You finish for her. 

“Absolute hell.” She agrees. 

You take her hand and squeeze it, a silent form of reassurance. 

She shifts slightly and hovers over you again, brushing your damp hair off your forehead with her hand, and scans your face. “I don’t want this to end” she whispers. 

You wish you could capture this moment, tuck it away, and replay it whenever you wanted. You’ve been waiting for her to say these exact words for the past three months, you just never thought it would happen. The reason for your break-up still heavily taunts the back of your mind. 

“I love you” you reply, your voice barely a whisper. Taking her face in your hand and capturing her in another kiss. She kisses you sweetly and desperately.

You pull away, gently coaxing her back towards you, and cuddle her into your chest, assuming the role of the big spoon.

She nestles into your arms, finding comfort in the warmth of your body. With a soft sigh, she murmurs, "I wish we had more time.”

You tighten your hold around her, "We'll figure something out, I promise," you whisper, though you aren’t even sure of the reality of your own words. You choose to let go of the uncertainties, preferring to revel in the present moment. She looks back at you, and you kiss her forehead, a silent promise to cherish what you have, even if time feels fleeting.

“God damn full moon.” You mutter to yourself, remembering your earlier conversation at the party.

“What?” She asks.

“Nothing.” You say. “Don’t worry about it.” You kiss her shoulder, settling into the softness of the moment.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

tagging @astroph1les @vster0769

#hazel callahan #bottoms 2023 #hazel callahan imagine #hazel callahan x reader #bottoms movie #hazel bottoms #hazel callahan fanfic #ruby cruz #wlw #sapphic #Spotify

[bouncybongfairy]

Shits and Giggles

Rue Bennett x Fem Reader

Summary: You become Rue's rebound from Jules; you are aware from the beginning that this wasn't a serious relationship. However, what happened in your bed with her seemed pretty momentous.

Word Count: 2k+

Trigger Warning: Smut and Drugs

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Ever since you first saw Rue, you knew you were going to get close with her. She was a beautiful mentally ill druggie and what could you say, that was your type. You guys really gravitated to each other because of your issues. It's easy to be with someone who is struggling the same as you because you don't have to explain things that are unhealthy yet normal. It was nice not having someone judge you for your depression room or wanting to rot in bed. Not to mention drinking or getting high with someone who wasn't doing it to post online. It's not like you didn't know that this was toxic, you just didn't care. Both of you had people in your life that lectured you daily. People who were always gazing at you with disappointed eyes. You were each other's escape from that, and that meant a lot to the both of you. 

You met her when you were skipping class in the bathroom smoking. She asked you for a couple of puffs off the blunt, which you gave her. You complained about how teachers would seem to pick on the kids whom they knew didn't pay attention. You asked if she wanted to ditch with you and she was more than happy to do so. You walked the 30 minutes to your house, Rue asked you if your parents would be home and this is when you told her your mom had died. She didn't say much about her dad dying but she did let you know. There was no need to explain because you both knew what it was like. Like a mutual agreement not to acknowledge each other's suffering. It was the first time you'd ever snorted a pill. You were nervous, like super scared but she talked you through everything which made you feel comforted. You turned on Jersey Shore and laid in bed together, just zoning out. You had a swamp cooler that directly faced your bed, which made the room ice cold. This brought you two closer underneath the blankets. 

After taking a nap, Rue FaceTimed her mom to show she was at a friend's house. You sat at your desk with your laptop and pretended to be working on homework. This made you both burst into laughter once she hung up. Your dad came home from his 16 hour shift and greeted you before going to bed. You shared the burger king that he brought home for dinner. When Rue lit the blunt in the middle of eating, you knew she was going to be a bad habit. The one time you did that in front of someone they called you disgusting for doing so. When she did this so nonchalantly, it really left an impression on you. 

"I think we're going to be great together," you said, stuffing your face with the golden fries.

"Are you sure about that?" she asked to take a drag before taking a bite of her burger. 

"If you let us be then yeah," you said, taking the blunt from her. 

Ever since then, you two were pretty much inseparable. It was definitely weird at times; once, you were walking down the hall hand in hand with Rue and passed Jules. It made you feel bad, especially because you knew that they were together when she was sober. It made you feel inferrer a bit, like Jules got the real Rue. You never brought this up to her, because you didn't want to scare her off. You also were doing drugs with her so it felt a bit hypocritical to say anything about that. 

You were sitting in the cafeteria with Rue, picking at your lunches. You were trying to finish a math assignment that was due next period. Rue was drawing things like bongs and weed flowers, knowing it would distract you because it had to be raised. She kept laughing when you would playfully scold her for doing so. 

"It's just a piece of paper," she would taunt you.

"iT's jUsT a PiEcE oF PaPer," you would mimic. 

She laughed and continued until you finished the last equation and raised the last doodle. You kissed her on the cheek and she hung her head down giggling to herself. You practically huffed half a cart down in the bathroom before entering the cafeteria. She pulled your chair closer and nudged you with her shoulder. The bell rang shortly after, you got up and threw both of your trays away and started walking towards your class. Rue pulled you by the arm into the bathroom, the one with the scratched mirror behind the E-building. None of the girls used it to actually go to the restroom because they couldn't examine themselves obsessively in the mirror. She helped you sit on the edge of the sink, resting each hand on either side of you. 

"And where did you think you were going?" she asked.

"5th period," you responded rhetorically. 

"Why don't we go to your place and uh, have some fun? she stated more than asked. 

"You won't get in trouble?" you asked.

"I'll think of an excuse letter," she said, giving you a kiss before helping you down. 

You guys took the bus back to your place, neither of you wanted to walk the distance. Once you were home you went back to your bedroom and cranked the AC on. Rue complained about the icebox of a room you have which made you laugh; there was no way you were turning it off. You went to your closet and pulled out your half drank bottle of Kirkland vodka. You went into the kitchen and grabbed a tall glass and filled it with ice before heading back into the room. You pour a good amount of alcohol into it, letting it chill for a minute. 

"You're so high maintenance, why don't you drink it out of the bottle?" she asked. 

"Well sorry if I don't want my entire chest and throat burning after the first shot," you said, walking over to her and kissing her forehead. When you walked back to strain the liquor into the shot glasses, she followed. 

"Seriously this seems excessive," she said, wrapping her arms around your waist from behind. 

"Quit your bitchin' and take this with me," you said, turning around and handing her the tiny glass. You quickly cheer and both tip your head back. 

You pull away from her and go digging in your backpack, grinning from ear to ear once you feel the plastic baggie. When you pull it out, you show Rue she matches your grin. It was two tabs of acid that had a faint picture of the Rick and Morty logo, barely visible due to the discolorations. It didn't take long to kick in, well it did but due to the second and third shot it didn't feel that long. You were both giggling and dancing with each other around your room. Knocking each other over every once in a while, landing on the bed. You would quickly recover once a song motivated you both enough to start dancing again. You were feeling light, like your head could lift you off the ground. Rue kept running her hands through your hair which would make you shiver. Rue kept wanting to do a line but you eventually found another way to distract her. 

The last time you fell on the bed you ended up face to face, rubbing each other's foreheads together. She kept running her hands down your arm and the exposed skin on your side. She kept mumbling about how soft you were. Hearing this come for her was making your stomach flip. Somewhere between cuddling and rubbing against one another you start to make out. She was laying on her back and you were straddling her. You were holding her head in your hands as you kissed. She quickly sits up which catches you off guard. You pull your tee-shirt off and get slightly embarrassed when you are reminded of the fact that you didn't have a bra on. She stared at your chest for a while before taking your nipple into her mouth. You let out a moan and let her pull you as she let her back fall against your mattress. You pull away and tug at her sweat pants, she takes the hint and helps you take them off. You smirk and take your shorts off, you start grinding against her. You hover back over her and start to give her a hickey on her neck. She starts playing with your chest as you do this. This made it harder to kiss her neck because you were moaning so much. 

"Fuck you look like a pornstar," Rue said flipping you over and shoving her hand into your panties. 

She started playing with your clit, using her middle finger. You bury your face into her neck and let out a couple moans. If she already thought you looked like a pornstar so you might as well sound the part. You were completely soaked, this was the first time you'd ever done anything like this with rue. The sexual tension between you had been building for so long, that even hearing her voice sometimes made you melt. It was nice to have a sexual experience with someone and not worry about how you looked or came across as. She continued to stroke you, arched you back and buckled your hip up every once in a while. You tried kissing her but you were in such a state of pleasure that your lips were just pressed together slightly. It was like she was trying to eat your moans. You pull away from her right before your climax. 

 "Do.. you wanna, uh.. 69?" you asked, trying to catch your breath.

"Yeah but only if you're on top of me," she said. 

"You're sinister for that," you said, getting on top. 

"And much more," she said, smacking you with what felt like all the strength she had. 

When you started eating her out, you were pleased to feel that she was just as wet as you. You were kind of worried that she might not be as into you as you are her but that thought quickly left. You start flicking your tongue slowly, slowly increasing your pace as she did the same. She penetrated you with her fingers which made you gasp and press yourself onto her face. When you did this, she smacked your ass with both hands causing you to squeal. You tried to keep your rhythm but you were finding this hard because of how close you were getting. You were full on riding her face and fingers at this point. You could tell that Rue was getting close because he rhythm was becoming spotty. As you started to cum, you could feel her clit harden slightly. This was just enough encouragement to keep going instead of sitting up and going full cowgirl on her face. You both rode out your orgasm before you fell back next to her on the bed. 

You grabbed your tee-shirt and wiped her face off before doing the same to yourself. You both looked over at each other and couldn't help but burst out laughing. Not because it was awkward, more likely from the drugs that were still in your system. You both change into different clothes before cuddling back in bed. Rue had fallen asleep for a while while you played with her hair. You noticed some of her curls sticking to her neck because she was so sweaty. You grabbed a hair tie and pulled all her hair into a bun. Every once in a while you would plant a kiss on her forehead or nose. She was holding onto by the waist, you woke her up to ask if her arm was losing circulation from being underneath you. 

"Don't wake me up to ask stupid shit like that again," she grumbled. Right as she finished the sentence, there was a hard knock at the door which made both of you jump. 

"Dinner's on the counter!" your dad shouted through the door, when you both looked over and saw the panicked expression on each other's faces you both started laughing.

#euphoria #euphoria fanfic #rue bennet x reader #rue bennett x fem reader #rue bennett smut #rue euphoria #jules euphoria #smut fanfiction

[thatsthewrongwallcraig]

babe, first of all, I hope you doing well 🥰 and second, but not least important, i'll do love if write some toxic fluffy whith jack, where, after a argument, she hurts or puts herself in dangerous just to get revenge, but nothing really serius happens to her, they reconizing they're not in a helth reletionship, but they gonna try to be better for eachother, you also can add some smut if you like, but this is not part of the request. hope you liked the idea, but if you don't, let me know

xoxo

My dearest anon...this is a lot of things but not exactly fluffy and I'm sorry if I went too hard on it but toxic Jack Thurlow had me short circuiting 😵‍💫😵‍💫

The Pain Remains

Summary: This time you really lost the plot for good and now all you can do is to clean up your act.

Pairing: Jack Thurlow x fem!Reader

Word Count: ~1.6k

Content Warnings: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT! 18+!, Grim Dark Smut, Active Self Harm, Jealousy, Borderline Very Toxic Relationship, Two Idiots In Love Trying To Do Better, It's Very Mentally Ill In Here, Mutual Substance Abuse, Very Shitty Coping Mechanisms, Strong Hints Towards Sex Addiction, Mentions Of Public Sex, Angsty As Fuck, Positive Ending, Tho 🙆🏻‍♀️!

A/N: I know, this is a rather heavy one and if anyone of you feels the need to talk to someone: My DMs are always open. Don't hesitate to reach out!🖤

Tagging The Squad:

@crypticsewerslut @quicksilversg1rl @cc-luvr @icarus-star @milaeth @roryculkinsgf @roryculkinsbf @spookyorchid @arch1viste @whoareyoi @angelsanarchy @b4sementgrl @blueberrypancakesworld

If the past is just dust

Then the future could be our dream

If all we have is now, this eternity

Ignite my satisfaction, engulf me

- The Pain Remains I By Lorna Shore

Before you even really woke up, you were forced to acknowledge the raging hangover headache in your head. With eyes closed shut, you turned to the side, your hand haphazardly roaming over the silhouette of Jack's body, looking for a glimpse of comforting body heat or just anything to get your racing mind to shut up for a second.

How did you get into bed? At what time did you fall onto the mattress next to him?

You had no clue about any of that as you pressed your body against his back, the pungent aftertaste of cheap rum still lingering heavily on your tongue.

"Fucking hell…" You groaned into the nape of his neck, your nose buried deep in his curly, brown hair and yet you could still smell the remnants of last night's pot extravaganza all throughout the bedroom.

What in the everloving fuck had the two of you been up to last night? With relentlessly firing synapses and painfully overdriven neurons you searched your mind for answers, a flicker of a memory, at this point anything, really.

You couldn't help yourself but to let your face contort into various tortured grimaces as the rest of your body slowly came to. Your stomach felt horribly fucked and in dire need for something solid, although the mere thought of food alone had you nearly gagging. No, you needed something else to take the edge off before you even so much as got out of bed.

Whilst inhaling deep, unsteady breaths, you soaked in the calming smell of Jack's body; a mixture of pheromone-loaded sweat, musky deodorant and soft hints of vanilla coke.

Vanilla coke spiked with cheap rum. Your stomach dropped and turned in every possible direction at the reminder. Nearly every weekend played out in the same shit show again and again: Booze to kill the anxiety, weed to elevate your spirit and nearly deranged amounts of sex to eradicate and simply drown out every last painful sentiment that could possibly be felt.

On that notion your lips curled up into a crooked smile whilst your reader fingertips grazed down your boyfriends gently rising and falling again chest, gingerly drawing a circle or two around his navel before eventually tapping down to the waistband of his black and gray checkered shorts, a throbbing case of morning wood straining against the fabric already. Sucking your bottom lip between your teeth in a low gasp, you simply indulged yourself and allowed your hand to slip right past the waistband, fingers wrapping themselves around Jack's girth tenderly.

"Goddamn minx!" Jack hissed into the darkened bedroom and involuntarily jutted his hips against your hand.

"Want me to stop?" You whispered into the soft skin of his shoulder before biting down on it teasingly.

"No, please.", His voice was raspy enough to give you a broad idea about how much the two of you must've smoked last night, "I'm equal parts hungover and horny as fuck."

"Yeah, I thought so." You snickered while you started fisting his cock, generously smearing the pre-cum all over the sensitive tip to not stroke him sore with a dry palm.

"You're a fucking menace, you know that?" Jack stuttered, choking back a breathy moan while rocking is lap in quick rolls, practically fucking himself into your grip.

"Says the lunatic who'll take every and any given chance to fumble me in public? Finger fucking me in the cinema, really?" With a mischievous grin spreading all across your face, you fondly remembered that happening a few days ago.

"C'mon, you enjoyed that, cumming all over the seat like you did." Jack shot right back at you.

"Fair enough." You agreed, tightening the grip around his hard on slightly to drag a shaky sigh from his lips.

"Fuck, you know I can't last long that early into the day." Jack practically whined out, his hips thrusting harshly against your hand while you jerked him off.

"Oh, poor, little Jack." Your playfully mocking voice got lost in the glossy curls of his hair as you felt his entire body turning stiff against your torso.

"Say that again… please!" Jack was clearly about to come undone, needing that little push of humiliation to push past the threshold.

"Oh, you sick fuck.", You sneered into his ear, the tip of your nose hardly touching its shell, "Poor, little Jack Thurlow creaming his boxers just after a few minutes already, huh?"

"Good god, fuck, you're so mean!" It cascaded out of his mouth in a guttural moan as he rutted against your hand in a few last, shaky thrusts before white-hot ropes of cum ruined his boxers and your hand alike.

The milky fluid spouted all over your fingers and eventually down your wrist, causing a very sudden, sharp pinch of simmering pain.

"What the hell?!" You hissed and withdrew your hands from Jack's crotch, raising it up for the both of you to stare right at the scene of the crime.

"What…" Jack mumbled under his breath, his eyes going wide in shock.

Thin yet vigorous cuts thrown all over your wrist, bright red with inflammation and laced with a milky layer of Jack's cum, laughing right in your face about the current state of your mental health.

"What…no…NO!" Your voice flailed and trembled as you stared at your wrist with thrashing disbelief.

"I was clean for a year! This…this isn't happening, no!" A dull pang of pain shot right through your dehydrated head as you basically jumped off the mattress and stumbled towards the bathroom, nearly tripping over scattered clothing and a glass bong.

Unbridled waves of shame and disgusting rippled through your system as a supernova of blacked-out memories decided to implode inside your head. You'd been pissed last night, even furious with Jack about something…yeah..fuck..a call. Was it call? Yeah, of course, a call from is ex-fiancé Cleo, that fucking cunt. Dumped him because she couldn't handle Jack the way you could and now trying to patch things up again. Stupid twat.

"Hey, wait!" You heard Jack calling out to you from behind, coming right after you.

Your out of control body fell against the door frame of the bathroom as you hurried towards the sink, yanking at the faucet for icy cold water to cascade over your violated wrist. It stung and you winced at the sharp pain.

"Are you okay? What the hell happened!?" Jack huffed, only stopping in steps as he was right behind you, making his presence known by cupping your jittery frame with his body, his chin resting on your shoulder as his slender hands wrapped themselves around yours under the running faucet.

His thumb ghosted over the cuts, gently washing himself off of your sore skin.

"Obviously not, asshole!" It shot right out of you and you regretted it immediately.

"Hey, watch that mouth! Right now is not the time for that." He mumbled into the crook of your neck.

"Fuck, sorry… I really lost the plot this time, huh?" Your voice was but a meak whimper.

"Maybe, but I got you. This is a temporary setback, yes, but not the end of the world, you hear me?" His tone rendered soft as he tried to calm you down.

"The cuts are shallow and if we take good care of them they'll heal without leaving a single scar. It'll be okay, yeah?" By now the water numbed your wrist out to the point that you didn't feel his thumb wiping you clean anymore.

"Uh-huh…I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry for being such a fucking psycho, Jack." The shame and self-loathing doubled down on you, dragging you into an inevitable breakdown.

"Stop that right there! You're not a psycho and I don't love you any less, you understand?", He pressed himself to you as impossibly close as he could, "A little slip up like that won't scare me. I'll go through that hell right here with you, I promise. I'll never go anywhere and just leave you like that."

Everything inside of you came falling down, every painful emotion amped up by the raging hangover that ruled over your shaking muscles and you just let yourself fall against Jack in eventual defeat.

"I got you and we'll handle that together!"

#rory culkin #asks are appreciated #asks are always open #jack thurlow × you #jack thurlow x fem!reader #jack thurlow #jack goes home #jack thurlow x reader #jack thurlow smut

[bestbuybathroom]

002, Katrina x Ryder

Conceptually, I'm intrigued.

oh man. ohhhhhhh mannnnn i have SHIT to say about their relationship ougigjgh ive been WAITITNG FOR AN OPPORTUNITY forgive me if this isn't canonical at all i need to rewatch the cutscenes again

when or if I started shipping it:

i feel like saying i ship them means that i think they're good for each other which is Incorrect

my thoughts:

ok hear me out on this one but I think it's a mutually toxic/abusive relationship. like there's the obvious stuff with like katrina literally creating a whole bunch of robots to keep him out but also

it was implied ryder has nightmares abt katrina (like maybe he was joking but Come On)

he was like, really nervous about going to katrina's home??? which always confused me because like, i feel like if he was still actively pursuing her he wouldn't gaf. like it could be argued that he moved on but when you look at the rest of the cutscenes he really didn't lol

im like 80% sure ryder flinches when he hears katrina's voice one time

tldr: katrina heavily dislikes ryder and ryder is both simultaneously afraid and desperate for her??????? what is his DEAL (bpd)

What makes me happy about them:

idk how to answer this one tbh there is nothing happy about them

What makes me sad about them:

ig the fact that their "attraction" to one another was more like, them playing their parts (action hero, attractive villain chick) and at the end of the day they're absolutely awful together and they never liked each other at all (or atleast katrina didn't like ryder). like once the performance stops they realize they liked the character not the actor (??? does this make any sense) like maybe ryder loves what katrina represents and not for who she actually is idk

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

literally i don't think ive seen a single fic about them but i don't see katrina's abuse acknowledged as much as ryder's lol/lh

Things I look for in fanfic:

n/a

My kinks:

????? genuinely what does this one meannnn

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

i do think katrina genuinely loved viktor. ryder is getting put in the Bitchless Cube

My happily ever after for them:

they separate 4ever and ryder stops being obsessive lol (or they never meet in the first place)

#knack #knack 2 #knack ps4 #katrina knack #ryder knack #sorry i took so long to answer this one. i had to think abt them a little bit #ive been waiting so long to have an excuse to talk abt them #hopefully this isnt an abysmal take. idk

[theriverbeyond]

Kiriona / Ianthe?

A+: OTP (not actually "one" true pair but yaknow. highest on the list)

ok, juicy. they have so much entirely toxic potential and i love it. gideon has no frame of reference for what a normal relationship is like and she's not about to start now. ianthe probably knows what a normal relationship is like but she would much rather be incredibly strange and off putting <3

worst besties, best worsties. girl who needs a twin to be a shadow behind and the girl who needs a necromancer who will treat her like shit and kick her around. they're both so down bad for harrow and turning to each other for a distraction..... refusing to acknowledge their own feelings the whole time. nothing they do together can conceivably be called sex and yet it is definitely not safe for work in any capacity. fully pathetic and ruinous for both of them, i do not believe either of them are ever even close to getting off

they ARE an absolute terror in cohort meetings. they elder abuse john together. they are a menace to society and a plague on everything good and holy (hot).

also, importantly, i do NOT think gideon would let ianthe do anything with her stigmata and i will stand by this. respect to everyone who is into ianthe/the stigmata but i think kiriona would have complicated feelings about that specific hole and i just don't think ianthe is taking the correct steps to gain access to it. she is definitely trying but gideon's shirt is staying on during their mutual exercise session (i refuse to call it sex)

send me ships and i'll grade them!

#anon #ask #someday i will finish my kirianthe fic

[wherevenusholdssomeofficespace]

Part 4

And speaking of Perry, B-plot side of things we have the dysfunctional Doofenshmirtz family. Doof’s evil is primarily motivated by the abuse he suffered as a child from his parents and the favoritism his mother gave to his brother. His abandonment and then adoption by ocelots is a frequent plot-point. In addition Heinz also has a daughter of his own who he loves dearly, but doesn't always listen to (and a robot son he refuses to acknowledge as such), and an ex-wife who he resents more than she resents him though the two of them are on pretty good terms all things considered. He also has an assortment of extended relatives who are referred to, including his grandfather Jose, a great grandmother Gretel, a grandmother Gertrude, uncles Fluffy Pants, Simpkin, Boris, an Aunt Effie, a Great Aunt Henrietta and and a cousin Narthelliot.

While most of these relatives are one offs, and they all help develop the fact that Doof comes from a large, rather messed up, family. Despite his parents disowning Doof, he’s in no way cut off from the family altogether. If there's a need for a plot point, giving Heinz some relative as an explanation is not an uncommon way of doing it. While not all of his family hates him, the fact that he’s not cut off completely subjects him to continued mistreatment. A lot of his behavior can be explained by his family, or at the very least by Drusselstein, being as harsh a place as it is. The father’s day episode calls attention to his relationship with his father specifically, as the kickball episode relates to his mother specifically. 

Perry is ALSO a part of Doof’s family, something he does clearly state. Perry and Doof’s relationship may go beyond any sort of traditional relationship. But there are several plots dedicated to their relationship, both in Phineas and Ferb, and even in Milo Murphy’s Law. Doof’s biggest supporters are ultimately not the family he was born into, but the family he made, as his blood family is ultimately actively harmful to him. It compliments the Flynn-Fletcher family well in that regard. The Flynn-Fletcher's an example of a happy blended family, where everyone loves each other, blood related or not. The Heinz's family are far less consistent with giving love, both to those adopted and those by blood. Doofensmirtz suffers abuse at the hands of his blood relatives (who seem just fine with his wife), as well as from his adopted family the ocelots (though, that probably less abuse and more Ocelot parenting techniques don't work as well for humans, we don't see as much of the Ocelots who raised Doof as his bio parents). Doof mistreats Norm, but showers Vanessa with praise. Hates his brother (who we've never actually see be more than slightly childish towards his brother), but still tries to win his parents affections. Feels more bitter towards his ex-wife than he does about her. Even his relationship with Perry is fraught with antagonism and pettiness and while they both are each others most important person, that doesn't necessarily mean they bring out the best in each other.

(Dare I say Doof tends to be more affectionate/forgiving towards those who treat him worse, and harsher towards those who treat him neutrally/kindly. Almost like he doesn't know how to be in a mutually respectful relationship...). It is overall, a (cartoonishly) toxic family.

Doof (sort of), finds himself a part of a family in MML where support is unconditional, and he latches onto that. A family he was "adopted" into but is more tolerated than adored (and who Doof does not seem to know how to properly interact with). Doof does not have a healthy idea of family. He oversteps boundaries with the daughter, is rude and self-centered towards Martin and Milo's struggle's with Murphy's Law, and oversteps boundaries and is overall ungracious towards the Murphy parents. And he refuses to engage with Perry for a good portion of his stay out of pettiness. And yet, he does (mean) well, and their (relative) patience, does give Doof the chance to grow past his past, filled with trauma and evil schemes. Learning how to be a good guy. (Though with Milo being cut off I do wonder what the thoughts were for Doof in S3. He definitely got left off halfway through an arc). He's not quite part of the Murphy family. But he wants to be. And he could be. After all the Murphy's are very familial people, blood related or not.

#it has just occurred to me that despite Vanessa and Charlene attending the Doof family reunion #we do not see either of them really interact with Doof's mom or Roger. #We do know Vanessa claims to like her Uncle Roger #But we never actually see them interact #what does Vanessa think of her grandparents? #What does Charlene know/think about the abuse? #phineas and ferb #pnf #heinz doofenshmirtz

[margle]

Dee!

8. Your favorite outfit of them

14. Best storyline they had

20. A weird headcanon

thank you for the ask!

8: favourite dee outfit

where do I even begin? here's a dump of honourable mentions from my dee outfit notes page:

but my favourites at the moment are:

14: best storyline dee had

this one is hard because sunny doesnt really have that many overarching stories. but I like her ireland arc and how it climaxes with the waitress taking her job and forcing her to acknowledge how she's treated her. when she literally climbs over the waitress to get out I think could represent how she views other women as obstacles but ultimately needs them.

anything about dee and dennis's childhood with frank and barbara is great. dee had a lot of really good early season arcs because of frank's introduction in s2 (which was one of the most plot heavy seasons) and the exploration of her relationship with her biological dad. ultimately choosing her current life over her bio dad and sinking to her lowest depths by fake marrying frank is a great depiction of her character.

20: a weird head canon of dee

idk if it's that weird but I hc her as having a very complicated romantic/sexual relationship with her college roommate that she set on fire.

I think people sometimes forget that dee has a canonical history with mental illness. she was sectioned after hurting her roommate, is the only member of the gang to have gotten a therapist on screen and in the gang exploits the mortgage crisis it is clear she is hiding her history of mental illness from the couple.

I can imagine her moving to college after only hanging out with her brothers friends and ingrid nelson, a person she clearly had a mutually toxic relationship with, and immediately latching onto the first person that was all hers: her roommate. I can imagine her becoming very attached to them, perhaps to the point of obsession. the reason she gave for burning her was for wearing her clothes and copying her. dennis replies that it was dee who was copying her roommate.

this supports my hc because it seems like dee was obsessed with her and simultaneously hated her and wanted to be her. it also has interesting canonical implications because it is another potential cause of dee rejecting (nearly) all women.

#ask #number-one-hog-hater #sorry for how rambly this is I was excited to talk about dee #iasip #dee reynolds

[devilsskettle]

i haven’t read we have always lived in the castle in a hot minute so this is based on my impression of the text and not the text itself so i may be wrong but i’ve been thinking about it and i do think merricat and constance’s relationship is mutually codependent. i think merricat is very selfish for wanting to keep her inside so she could have her all to herself and she isn’t thinking about her sister’s best interests necessarily but i also think constance needs merricat as well and as much as merricat doesn’t want her to leave home, she didn’t intentionally cause her sister to be unable to leave the house like after the murders they were always going to have the shadow of perceived and real guilt hanging over them, and constance was complicit in shielding merricat from facing any consequences, it’s sometimes hard to pin constance down as much for me because once we understand that she’s been holding this major unspoken knowledge it changes how we can read her actions for the rest of the book and how much she understands merricat and her actions imo, like she knows!! how much more does she know that she allows to happen instead of it being something happening to her you know? she’s obviously suffered a lot but she also maintains her agency in subtle but significant ways. i also think it’s a matter of constance understanding the way merricat requires to be loved vs merricat only being able to give love the way that she loves and that blinds her to what’s best for her sister as much as her own selfishness does — she wants to live on the moon and she wants constance to go with her and to want to live on the moon too and she can’t imagine a reality in which living in the world instead is the better option, i think reducing merricat to purely antagonistic towards constance for her own ends is a mischaracterization i think she always does what she thinks is best but she has a very skewed sense of what that is and obviously that doesn’t excuse murder arson hurting people or classism to the point of paranoia but i also think she and constance and julian and charles and her dead family and everyone in town are trapped in a self-reinforcing cycle of paranoia hatred antagonism and violence like that didn’t happen in a vacuum for merricat and idk i guess i’m always a bit surprised to see really unsympathetic opinions about her even while i acknowledge her many negative traits. people love to say they like “complex” and/or “unhinged” characters until they’re actually complex and unhinged lol but like isn’t this story just as much about toxic cycles within the (patriarchal) domestic family unit as it is about merricat individually doing some really bad things

#we have always lived in the castle #merricat blackwood #shirley jackson #i typed ‘what we do in the castle’ when i was writing this lol. brain worms #i’m always worrying about getting we have always lived in the castle mixed up with i capture the castle because like. very different books. #anyway! this may be incoherent #i’m keeping reblogs on if anyone wants to add clarify correct or outright disagree #but this is like stream of consciousness lol

[bryhaven]

EDUCATIONAL POST: Signs that Mikasa Ackerman is in a TOXIC relationship

Now I'll be saying from the get-go that this post is NOT meant to undermine any Mikasa ship, especially with Eren. And NOT undermining the author and their writing. I didn't want to have to do this. But I'm forced to put this out here because some shippers and haters alike keep claiming and some even harassing other shippers (mostly the RM stans), and say that EM is not toxic. And even add that our ship RM is problematic.

I am the type of person that when given a nonsense argument, I will slap you with facts. Or give you a witty comeback (if I feel bitchy enough). This person below called me toxic and judgmental, claimed that those of low IQ cannot understand what Eren did blah blah blah. And then blocked me once I gave them a comeback.

Hence, this post is here to define what a TOXIC relationship is. And please take note that I will only discuss the parts where the relationship became toxic. Because someone might come saying, "But before that..", "But after this.." and so on. It doesn't even matter what happened before or after. Or even all the reasoning behind the actions. Remember, the end doesn't justify the means. The fact remains that the relationship became toxic.

According to Dr. John Delony in ramseysolutions.com, there are signs to check and find out whether you're in a toxic relationship.

1. Not feeling safe. This pertains to both physical and emotional safety. I don't see Mikasa feeling emotionally and physically safe when she talked about her thoughts and feelings, especially in the table scene with Eren. Her voice didn't matter to him because he was only set in completing his goal. And whenever she tried to speak up further, he would just brush her off.

2. Bad (or nonexistent) communication. This type of communication includes gaslighting, manipulating words, and being dishonest. Eren didn't tell them the entire truth and also used words to manipulate them, particularly Mikasa, into believing something else that he made up. Again, to further his own purposes.

3. Feeling neglected and exploited. I don't see Eren honoring or even seeing the reason why Mikasa was being overly protective of him back in the day. He was always angered at her whenever she tried to just watch out for him, or whenever she was being clingy. This is a psychological need that she has which was developed from a trauma, and Eren couldn't tend to or even acknowledge that.

4. Feeling like you’ve lost yourself. It is needless to say that Mikasa lost her sense of self here after hearing Eren's words. Eren clearly set off an anxiety alarm.

5. Judgment—not curiosity—is the norm. The way this was phrased, even in the manga, seemed judging and imposing. It's like he's judging her ability to fight with that length of hair which ended up imposing on her to do something about it. To rephrase it into the lifeblood of a relationship which is curiosity, he could have said something within the lines of "Does it bother you in training if you wear your hair down like this/with this length of hair?". Or he could have exuded care like "Would you be alright fighting with your length of hair?" or "Maybe you should try tying your hair so it doesn't bother you?". But then, no. He did not.

6. Feeling belittled and ashamed. Eren made her feel less than, and rubbed her nose in something from the past.

7. Not receiving empathy. Eren would either dismiss her when she tries to share something important or speak her thoughts, and she is usually met with apathy. Because Eren would usually direct the conversation back to himself and even try to one-up her in conversations since he is mostly focused on his own goals; when Mikasa here is only wanting for him to be safe. He often saw her as a bother, and always reasoned that she had no reason to do that since she's not his mother.

8. Playing a dysfunctional role. Service and sacrifice are parts of a good relationship. But then, it should be mutually giving and supportive. In this one, Mikasa more than often fulfills a mothering role. She made that promise to Carla to look after Eren. She always goes out of her way to care for him, even sacrificing her own safety. And because of that, she has grown to believe that it is her job to fix him, at the expense of her own feelings, needs, and joy. Sure, he has given her a reason to continue on living, inspired her to fight. But she has paid him more than enough for that service.

9. Feeling controlled or manipulated. Aside from manipulating her with words in the table discussion scene, Eren tried to tip the balance in his favor. This is in the sense that he makes use of her strength in the attack on Liberio. Even though this is Mikasa Ackerman with superhuman strength we are talking about, he still put her in harm's way by making her fight in the frontline. Whether or not it is in her will to do what he asked her, you can still see the hesitation and uncertainty in Mikasa while knowing what she was about to commit. And she follows anyway because of Eren and his reasonings. And a recurring theme in her thoughts is something within the lines of "Is this what Eren wants?" or "What if Eren will..", and her mind always spirals back to Eren. Mind control right there.

10. Living under a cloud of rage. Needless again to say (and for a picture since Tumblr doesn't allow more than 10 pics in a post. Urgh. Lol), Eren has been a chronically angry person. He is always frustrated by something, and often explodes in episodes of rage. A person like that cannot be fully supportive in a relationship. And though he has his own reasons for it (and some are understandable), it doesn't justify the things he made Mikasa undergo. And a crime is still a crime in the end.

And there you have it. EM has actually ticked all 10 boxes.

Again, I am just explaining the toxicity in the relationship. Not taking bias over something just to explain this, and not hating on any character. You can still understand or even like a character even though you don't align with their intentions, or even if you don't like their development.

If EM is your cup of tea, then by all means, go ahead and ship it. But DON'T go harassing others for it, or reblogging their posts with nonsense captions, or calling them out with rude descriptions, and then block them if they finally give you a comeback.

And DON'T go claiming that EM is not toxic, dysfunctional, or unhealthy in any way when you don't even have the FACTS to back it with.

Over and OUT!

#mikasa ackerman #eren yeager #eren jaeger #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot snk #eren aot #mikasa aot #haven thoughts #haventhoughts

[infamous-raven-x]

ask game: shun, spectra, alice

> Sexuality hc: Pansexual/Transexual

> Favorite ships: Shun/Sellon, Shun/ Fabia

> Brotp: Shun/Marucho, Shun/Dan, Shun/Alice

> Notp: Shun/Dan, Shun/Alice

> Random hc:

-- Shun didn't started his hormonal treatment until he move out of his grandparent house.

-- Shun is so chill and peacefull that he turns into a boring person, he has problems in his relationships because his personality is not for everyone to handel, so he need to be pared with someone mature that doesn't gets bored of him at the 3 months of knowing him.

-- He is bestys with Alice because I consider them to be Trans friends that would reunited during the week to drink tea and shit talk about there friends and finish it with "But who are we to judge? ". (Honestly Alice would trust only him in really important problems like documents, her safe contact and taking care of her childrens????)

> General opinion: I'm starting to think a bit more into Shun since when I was little I really didn't liked him and I started to appreciate him more when I rewatch the second season and noted that he was in love with a bird????, anyway, I really see Shun as the Wine step-mom of the group.

> Sexuality hc: Aromantic/Intersexual/Bisexual

> Favorite ships: Spectra/Alice

> Brotp: Spectra/Mylene, Spectra/Gus

> Notp: Spectra/Gus, Spectra/Lync,

Spectra/Hydron

> Random hc:

--Spectra doesn't really give a shit about your feelings, but really he has a huge issue trying to even properly acknowledging his own feelings, the condictions on his family with Clay been and absent parent and his mother's death put him in a delicated position, mostly becuase he started to sick that atention by corporal means, his position of a public figure has brought him diferent standars in beauty and behaviours, so at the sametime that he develops anorexy, he also fells more and more in the world of sexualize himself for the confort of been important and notable.

--Would Clay be heartless enough to take his Intersexual child as a test subject to make true a treatment to help intersexual persons in Vestal been capable of having offprings even with there hormonal problems and helping there non-funcional organs to be funcional again?, and the answer is yes, yes he would.

--On his relationships, he is like a cat, don't force on him and don't try to control him, must of the time he just got into relationships because he doesn't like to be alone, but he's not that bad, if you get into a mutual understading with him you can really see a relationship working even if he is not romanticaly attract.

--Some people see Spectra as a Rooster, I see him as a Mother hen we are not the same.

Also Spectra darkest wish is to have 4 childrens because deep deep deep inside he likes childrens and wants the tradictional happy big family in vestal estandars but he has to keep up his icy edgy lord ass actitud for appearance

> General opinion: Spectra is you favorite bitch ass toxic chernobyl level girlfriend that would kill for you and then spit in your face.

(Also, uhhh... Why my thoughts on Spectra are always so angst and edgy???, Still my lit' meow meow)

> Sexuality hc: Transexual/Bisexual

> Favorite ships: Spectra/Alice

> Brotp: Alice/Julie/Runo, Alice/Shun

> Notp: Alice/Lync, Alice/Shun, Alice/Klaus

> Random hc:

-- Alice is the rich aunt, but she looks like a mear mortal side by side with Marucho the OG rich aunt of the brawlers.

-- Alice in the beginning was one of does positive people that bothers everyone om trying to be always positive and see the good side of life until the Masquerade incident happend and Alice learn to embrace her dark side.

--Alice has a lot of problems taking decisions, they give her a lot of anxiety and the only thing that she miss from her Masquerade personality is the fact that she didn't overthink stuff, so she really like to just follow the lead of persons (name it Dan, Runo, her other friends, Spectra, etc.)

--Doctor Michael didn't adopt Alice because he wanted another daughter but becuase the goverment agents see potencial in Alice with her high IQ and so since Doctor Michael was old, they put Alice to pursue hos investigation when he died.

--She doesn't know a lot of things of her origin because she was born with a lot of goverment expectetions and her contact with the Brawlers was a interesting coincidence.

--Alice would probably be the smiling girl with pure heart that if you tell her the joke of helping you to burry a body she will help you and even brought her own shovel.

--Alice was that type of child that saw CSI in the TV and ended up working as a Criminologist becuase she lives the dream.

--Alice would be pink goth with my melody them things.

--She has Depression, but she doesn't remember why... in fact Alice has PTSD from the years she was in the Gulag but she doesn't remember does years because she block out does memories.

> General opinions: My secret agenda of making Alice a Russian/Urss agent is taking form!.

>>>Let me a character name and I will tell you my hc in them!

#bakugan #anime #spectra phantom #alice gehabich #shun kazami #ask time! #answered #elfilibusterismo

[iodos84]

Happy birthday, Chris.

I first met Chris at a now-defunct diner in December 2010. We were in the thick of the holiday season, and our meeting had been danced around for awhile. We had a mutual friend who really wanted us to become friends because she thought we'd click. I remember at the bar, she'd tell our group of friends about his problems with recently ending a serious relationship, the fact that he was autistic, etc.

I tossed back my beer and lit a cigarette. "I don't think he wants us to know all that, Jody."

Jody was nonplussed; "I'm just SAYING."

The topic was quickly changed but a few weeks later, I wound up sitting next to him in that diner booth for the first time and I immediately felt disarmed. He was kind, goofy, and nerdy as hell. Talking to him was the easiest thing in the world. When it was time to leave, he discovered that I took the bus and offered me a ride home. He had never been to my town, let alone the bad part that I lived in. But he dropped me off and drove the nearly three hour trip back to his home in the Bay Area.

I thought about leaning over and giving him a kiss goodbye. At the time, I had also ended a relationship and had launched myself back into another one with an old flame. Ultimately I wound up hauling ass out of the car and upstairs, affirming that it was a bad idea and I wasn't burning any bridges.

We found each other online and became friends; over the next two years we casually kept in touch.

Then my best friend died.

When George died, it catapaulted me into one of the worst episodes of depression of my adulthood. I hid a lot of it from people, but those closest to me could see that I was struggling to keep it together. I was drinking a lot and I wasn't sleeping; a friend and I would go on late-night drives down Highway One and I would walk down the shoreline or in the woods on a fool's errand. We had a complicated friendship that at times borderlined toxic and co-dependent and I didn't get the closure or the goodbye I needed and I was hurting.

Around this time, I had a falling out with several friends, including Jody. Either they didn't understand my grief or they got tired of it. Chris picked up on what was happened and reached out to get my side of the story. We started talking daily and it quickly snowballed to us acknowledging that we had always harbored some form of crush on the other.

I don't know what happened to make me realize that I was falling for him, but it hit me like a brick to the face. We decided fuck it, we were going to go on a date after his birthday [August 19]. His mom was taking him to Disneyland and we'd do something when he came back up north.

Shortly before our first date, the friend and I that had been going on late-night drives did a day trip up to San Francisco. He hadn't told me his car needed some serious repair and the first signs of trouble happened outside of Vallejo. Shortly outside of my town, one of the axles gave out and we spun out. If we hadn't hit a guardrail, we would have spun into opposing traffic. The rest of the month was a fucking dumpster fire. A few days after my accident, one of my friends and former co-workers died from a head-on collision and later that month, a close friend would be brutally murdered by her ex-husband ON my best friend's birthday.

Towards the end of the month and battered in every way imaginable, Chris and I went on our first date. We meet at a Caltrain station and I ran up to hug him. He was visibly surprised, but there was no tension. It was honestly like no time had passed and I had just seen him the day before, that it had not been two years. We wound up spending the day at IKEA, which I don't think he had ever been to. I kept finding ways to touch his arm or grab his hand to look at something. Afterward when he kissed me, it felt like I was coming home.

And I just knew. I knew this was it. We avoided making it official for months, but he said he felt the same way when he kissed me.

He's been a light in my life ever since. Through all of the bad shit that has happened, there have been times that he has absolutely been overwhelmed or unable to help me, but he's been the light that's brought me back.

I love how easy things are with him. I love how he unrelentingly always sees the best in me, as if there was never another option. I love watching him sleep while I drink some coffee, or getting up early to go in his room and feel him next to me before I start my day. I love watching his face light up when he talks about his passion projects, or some adventure that he's been on with his friends. I love how clear and blue his eyes are, how soft and tapered his hands are, and how absolutely unfair it is that his eyebrows are naturally perfect. I love how we can act like unfettered children with our shared interests, and that he will still watch my favorite show with me [at glacial speed] despite the fact he doesn't really watch any television. I love how we can argue about me eating food way past the best buy date and that coffee isn't a food group [it totally is babe, sorry] or how he shakes his head at my puns.

So, here is to ten years of courtship and to many, many more.

My light, anchor, and compass: happy birthday. I love you so very much and I am so very thankful that I have you navigating this crazy world with me.

#love is beautiful #long term relationship #love #boyfriends #birthdays

[cottonfat0]

Signs of Toxic Relationships

If your partner is constantly deceiving or dishonest, this is a sign of a toxic relationship. A healthy relationship is one where both parties communicate with complete honesty, without deception or lies. If you are constantly anticipating bad things to happen, then this relationship is toxic. Even when good things do happen, you are constantly preparing for bad events to happen. This constant bracing is one of the most telling signs of toxic relationships.

Controlling behaviour is another sign of a toxic relationship. It may start out as simple things, but can quickly escalate into a sense of being a caged bird. This can range from telling you what to wear or do to asking you to not post pictures of yourself on social media. Controlling behaviour is a sign of a toxic relationship, as it indicates a lack of mutual respect or equal effort. Your partner may be jealous of your achievements, but this will only increase the resentment and frustration you feel.

You may also find yourself constantly on opposing sides of a fight. If your partner is constantly at odds with you, it is a warning sign that the relationship is toxic. You have to put in effort and sacrifice to maintain a healthy relationship, but do not give up hope if it does not make sense. If Learn More Here are not prepared to put in the work, you may want to look into a breakup or divorce. If your partner refuses to communicate and shows he is unresponsive to your communication, it is time to look into a toxic relationship.

Another sign of a toxic relationship is if your partner has begun suppressing his or her thoughts. This may be done either to avoid conflict or because you feel intimidated by your partner. You may also be suppressing your thoughts and feelings because they will make you feel uncomfortable. If this is the case, your partner may need to seek professional help. A healthy relationship is one where you and your partner can share your thoughts and feelings, listen to them, and support each other.

Another sign of a toxic relationship is if your partner consistently finds something wrong with you. Your partner is unappreciative of your hobbies and interests, and you don't get any support for them. Your partner is not a true friend unless he or she respects your interests and wants to be with you. They also often criticize you for aspects of your personality. If you can identify these signs in your partner, you can get the help you need to make things better.

Another sign of a toxic relationship is when your partner frequently blames you for everything that goes wrong. You may feel bad for hurting your partner, but in reality, this is a symptom of an unhealthy relationship. A healthy relationship requires both partners to own their mistakes, and to acknowledge when they're wrong. For example, if you constantly blame your partner for everything that goes wrong, the relationship will not improve. If you do this, the relationship is likely headed towards toxic territory.

#date #relationship #divorce #dating

[thendlessdays]

I think the fandom is too harsh on Linda

#There I said it #i understand that she is in a toxic relationship with Arthur #And he was also cruel to her #Like I think he was abusive to her several times in the show #And I don’t see this acknowledged in the wider fandom #Yes she is annoying #But she was also in a mutually toxic relationship with a controlling brother in law #And her ex husband beat up the guy she was talking to when she left him #Peaky blinders #arthur Shelby #linda Shelby #Arthur Shelby #PB #Polly Gray #Tommy Shelby #And I think we need to acknowledge all this when discussing her character #Linda is abusive to Arthur (I think emotionally manipulative

[txttletale]

id love to hear more abt yr thoughts on john & his (obviously bad) dynamics w/the lyctors if yr up for it!

oh boy am i!

so there are two things that make john's relationships Bad�� and they tie into each other: the fact that he has an impossibly uneven power dynamic with everybody around him, and the fact that he consistently pretends that power dynamic doesn't exist, and asks people to ignore it fully aware that they cannot

john has two conflicting drives. he wants to be loved (unconditionally, unquestioningly, as a god, on a civilization level) but he also wants to be loved on a personal, individual level. he has a deep-seated need for the people around him to like him as a peer. the thing is, of course, these things are (or at least, should be) mutually exclusive. look at what cytherea says near the end of gideon the ninth:

the lyctors gave up their former lives (they can't go back to their houses) and their loved ones to very literally replace those things with john and his empire. "like a king. like a god". but he also replaced those people personally for them. he inserted himself into their lives not just on the worshipful, adoring level he was there already, but as family, as a peer. "like a brother." (in augustine's case, very literally replacing his brother). and of course john wilfully ignores that you can't love a god and a brother the same way.

a good example of this is the Cohort necromancer that is willing to bleed to death in the early chapters of Harrow the Ninth for what is, essentially, his personal convenience. that type of entirely one-sided love is what john has set up society to demand! and he demands it, too: most nakedly at the end of harrow the ninth, where he flatly demands the loyalty of his lyctors

but even when he's finally openly acknowledging what has been the subtext to all his interactions with his lyctors for thousands of years (that he could kill them, if he wanted, and it would not even be difficult for him), he's still ignoring the elephant in the room, still talking like the threat of death isn't looming.

it's a perfect example of another of john's tricks, the false choice (he asks harrow if she wants to stay, knowing she has no choice, knowing she has been raised to worship him and would never leave even if she could). he reassures g1deon(pyrrha) that he's "not mad", having just shown him what 'mad' means: he praises ianthes' "enthusiasm" when she is literally pledging loyalty under threat of death. he forces people into loyalty to him and then puts the responsibility for that loyalty on their head.

when he asks mercy and augustine, at the beginning of that conversation, if he's "in trouble", it makes it sound like they are all equals, when in fact him being 'in trouble' with his lyctors poses no problem to him beyond the logistical, and his lyctors being 'in trouble' with him leads to him killing them near-effortlessly. and he will never give up that power dynamic, no matter how much he says 'don't call me Lord', he will never not have that infinite power to do as he pleases, and he will never stop subtly reminding people of it while he actively pretends he isn't

and that's why john's relationships with the lyctors are so emotionally destructive to them, because he wants to be both their god and their brother. he wants to just be 'one of the gang', but he also wants their undying devotion without question, and that's a fundamentally toxic and destructive way to interact with people

#god this got long #john gaius #the locked tomb #harrow the ninth spoilers #ty anon love you anon #paypal.com/IFuckingHateJohnGaius

[sweetbitterimpossiblecreature]

A Brief And Concise Summary Of Is Wrong With The ACOTAR Series

I think we can agree that a lot of ACOTAR is pretty iffy. Consider this a very brief refresher.

What's Wrong With Feyre/Rhysand (juxtaposed against Feyre/Tamlin)

Rhysand drugs and sexually assaults her in Book 1

This is "for her own good". Because he "has no choice". Despite the fact that, from what we know of the plot, Amarantha thinks that Clare Beddor was the one Rhysand was diddling, and is only interested in Feyre because Rhysand, "her" man male, has taken an interest in her.

If we extrapolate from this we can figure that Rhysand is the one directly putting her into danger.

Now, let's be clear: drugging someone is bad. Sexually assaulting someone is bad. One could argue there were extenuating circumstances. But if, in such a situation, what your mind goes to is "I know, I should assault this person... for their safety" I have questions about your moral qualities. There were a million things he could have done. He could have done whatever he did to Clare - that is, remove her ability to feel any pain - easily. He could have helped her escape. Under The Mountain, he - while still there unwillingly - has a lot of power, as Amarantha's side piece. Maybe this would have resulted in him being punished- however, he is hundreds of years old and a badass motherfucker, and she is a nineteen year old human girl.

Now, onto Tamlin. Obviously not a lot of people really ship F/T anymore after ACOMAF, because compared to F/R, it's boring. I read another person's post about it, which was very enlightening: they said that Feyre's personality is essentially a mirror. When she is with Rhysand, she's snarky and malicious- because she is "bouncing off" his energy. When she's with Mor she's super feminist and "in awe of her strength". On the other hand, Tamlin is kind of an empty character. He's a pretty boy with anger issues, which should be more interesting than it is. SJM manages to make him bland. Because Feyre has nothing to bounce off of, (a lot of this is from the person's post), she and Tamlin together is mainly just him introducing her to his world.

What Tamlin Does: prevents a skinny twenty year old from going on dangerous missions with him and combat-trained soldiers, accidentally blows up a room with her in it, and, at the end, prevents her from leaving the house.

This is not a Tamlin apologist post. Obviously it was really fucking gross of him to do that, and their relationship was toxic. However, a lot of his abuse stems from their inability to communicate, as well as own negligence. He does not knowingly and purposefully sexually assault her or rape her mind. And tbh, leaving a girl without combat training at home while he goes on missions with a bunch of muscled sentries is... kind of reasonable?

Again: not a Tamlin apologist post. It was abuse. However, if Rhysand is "allowed" to sexually assault, mind-rape, and drug Feyre "for her own safety", why is Tamlin demonized for preventing her from leaving his mansion "for her own safety"?

Another pertinent point: Rhys is never punished for sexually assaulting her. It is brushed off as part of his "mask" or that his hand was forced. Jesus Christ my dudes, his hand was not forced under her skirt. If he has to maintain his gross rapist abuser tyrant oppressor mask... why? Who did that benefit beside him? None of his actions remotely helped Prythian. They were done solely for his buddies - five people safe in a rich hidden city - and no one else, which is explicitly stated.

Finally, the power dynamic is fucked up. Feyre is less than twenty five years old. Rhysand is 500. There is a tendency in fantasy romance to romanticize a centuries year old man with a young girl, because the man does not show symptoms of age, and so it is easily ignorable. However, can we just briefly acknowledge how fucked up it is? Rhys is over five times older than Donald Trump, Harvey Weinstein, Jeffrey Epstein, and other known predators/abusers. She is twenty. That is really fucking gross. She is in a vulnerable position and he takes rampant advantage of that.

If he had wrinkles, liver problems, and erectile dysfunction, more people would acknowledge it.

Let's be clear: I'm not saying writing a book with an uneven power dynamic is automatically bad. For example, in The Locked Tomb series, which is in my opinion THE BEST FANTASY SERIES THAT HAS GRACED THIS EARTH (lol i'm starting fires), one main character Harrowhark Nonagesimus is in a position of power over Gideon Nav, the other main character. However, this is not glossed over or romanticized. Gideon resents Harrow for this- there is a relationship of mutual antagonism, fraught with unwilling familiarity and intimacy from growing up together. They are roughly the same age. While there is a certain power dynamic (in that world, there is a dynamic of necromancer and cavalier, i.e. sorcerer and sword) the "empowered" character (Harrow) emphatically respects her and does not abuse this power, although both would of course deny this, and she does make a show of threatening and being aloof. In short, while Gideon obeys her, Gideon also has power over Harrow, and the idea of what is essentially slavery is not romanticized.

Feyre Doesn't Face Any Consequences For Her Own Actions

Let me present a radical notion: a guy preventing you from leaving his house does not justify completely fucking ruining his country and harming the people inside it.

In other words: Tamlin does not deserve what she did to him.

I know that sounds iffy. We're conditioned to think that if someone is an abuser, then they are the scum of the earth, they deserve to die, torturing/murdering/doing anything to them is completely A-OK. However, here's another radical notion: someone harming you does not justify you doing worse.

Obviously, the effects of psychological abuse can cause you to hurt other people (see: Nesta), but Feyre deliberately and maliciously (oh, God, that insufferable POV of her in Spring Court; she reads like a cartoonish Disney villain) dismantles his country. She uses sexual manipulation (Lucien), torture (causing the sentry to be whipped), and mind-rape (who didn't she do this to? lol).

A summary of the entire first half of ACOWAR: "It smelled like roses. I hated roses. For this capital offense against my olfactory system, Tamlin and the entire Spring Court deserved to burn in hell. I knew exactly what I was doing. I smiled at him sweetly: no longer a doe, but a wolf. He didn't see my fangs.............." *aesthetic noises*

Man. I'm starting to think SJM had a horrible experience at a Bath & Body Works and took it out on the rest of us. Don't do it, Sarah!! I know Pink Chiffon and Triple Berry Martini are way too strong, but don't take it out on an innocent population!!

She steals from Summer Court (there are, yk, other solutions to theft. Like maybe asking politely) and ruins Spring Court. Her boyfriend - yeesh sorry, MATE - does nothing while a dozen Winter Court children are murdered.

Now: moral ambiguity is not automatically bad. Again using The Locked Tomb as an example, in the second book (spoiler alert), Harrowhark has a sort of moral ambiguity. She was raised from the beginning to worship the King Undying as God, and so she obeys him without question. Because of this, she commits a lot of crimes in His name: she "flips" - i.e. kills - the life force of planets, and she plots murder (albeit the murder of someone who tried to kill her first). There is no attempt to justify this. There is also no attempt to paint her as a virtuous and yet also badass Madonna figure. She is desperate, plagued with the "wreck of herself", and the book clearly displays her moral pitfalls. While her POV is of course colored by her mindset, it also is limited by her lack of information, and we as readers can acknowledge that.

BACK TO ACOTAR: Feyre is seen by everyone as gorgeous, formidable, and essentially perfect. Rhys sees her as flawless, "made for him", wonderful, beautiful, blah blah blah. (THEY ARE SO BAD FOR EACH OTHER; THEY EXCUSE AND GLORIFY EACH OTHER'S CRIMES, IT'S SO BAD, GUYYYS). Tamlin is insanely batshit in love with her, or whatever. To the Night Court she's the High Lady. In this way she personifies the Mary Sue character. (Excerpt from the TV Tropes page on Mary Sues: "She's exotically beautiful, often having an unusual hair or eye color, and has a similarly cool and exotic name. She's exceptionally talented in an implausibly wide variety of areas, and may possess skills that are rare or nonexistent in the canon setting. She also lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws — either that or her "flaws" are obviously meant to be endearing. She has an unusual and dramatic Back Story. The canon protagonists are all overwhelmed with admiration for her beauty, wit, courage and other virtues, and are quick to adopt her as one of their True Companions, even characters who are usually antisocial and untrusting; if any character doesn't love her, that character gets an extremely unsympathetic portrayal." Sound familiar?)

There is the Ourobous scene. And yet, paradoxically, while presented as an acknowledgment of her flaws, it is in fact a rejection of them. She sees her own brutality... and instead of recognizing that she has these deep, deep moral flaws and realizing that she needs to grow and be better, she in fact "accepts" them.

Guys: Self love means: "I'm important to me, so I'm going to get a massage today after work", or "heck, why not splurge on some expensive lotion, you only live once" or "you know what? I had a tough day today. I'm going to get that strawberry cupcake". SELF LOVE DOES NOT MEAN "oh, I accept all the war crimes I have done, I love myself". LOVING YOURSELF DOES NOT MEAN ABSOLVING YOURSELF OF ALL WRONGDOING.

It's this refusal to acknowledge wrongdoing that is so grating about ACOTAR. It's so goddamn one-sided. And you can tell that after Book 1, SJM decided to completely change the trajectory simply because of how jarring Book 2 reads compared to the first one.

Also: Feyre is a very, very young girl (compared to the other ruling fey) who did not know how to read for the majority of her life. She has no experience whatsoever in politics. Her being High Lady is not a win for feminism.

Rhysand: He Sucks

First, he is 500 years old. He should be written as such, not as some 20 year old virile frat boy feminist. Fantasy is all the more compelling for its elements of realism, which is a concept that SJM does not appear to grasp.

Second of all, his morals are absurd. He is written as the Second Coming of Christ, as someone who can do no wrong, ever, and his flaws only serve to make Feyre love him more. Anything shitty he does is written as part of his "mask" and she can See Beneath It and knows that it "hurts" him to maintain this "mask".

Fellas, WHY DOES HE HAVE TO MAINTAIN THIS MASK???? There is no reason for it. If A) he does not give a shit about Court of Nightmares (we'll get back to that), only about Velaris, and B) Velaris is hidden/protected from the world, what is he pretending for?

It would not hurt him politically to be seen as someone who cares about his country.

"Pretending" to be "Amarantha's whore" does not in any way shape or form benefit the macro-world that is Prythian. In Amarantha's name, he commits atrocities. He commits war crimes; he systemically oppresses entire societies. It doesn't even really benefit Velaris, because Velaris is already hidden.

Let me put this in a real-world perspective. This would be like if Donald Trump was suddenly like: "I know I was a shitty president but IT WAS ALL PART OF MY MASK, WHICH WAS TO PROTECT THIS MICROCOSM OF PRIVILEGED PEOPLE THAT I CARE ABOUT". Like: okay? Sorry, or whatever, but I don't actually give a shit. What about the parents of the children who died? What about Clare Beddor? What about the people who were held in slavery, murdered, tortured?

Rhysand: omg it sucks that my cousin Mor was oppressed by this toxic misogynistic culture from the Court of Nightmares.

Also Rhysand: lol whatever, who gives a shit about Court of Nightmares. They all suck. They meanie. Lol what did you say? That there might be other girls just like Mor who are oppressed by this system? Lol whatever. I can't do anything, I gotta maintain my Mask. I gotta sit on this throne and show the entire Court that not respecting women is completely okay.

In summary: by parading Feyre around as his "whore" (!!) he demonstrates by example that it is completely okay for the Court of Nightmares to abuse their women.

A good ruler cares about all his people. Rhysand cares about a tiny tiny fraction of his people: those who were fortunate enough to be born into Velaris.

God, I'm exhausted. Onto Nesta:

The only character who successfully breaks the Mary Sue effect Feyre exerts on her people is Nesta. Her POV for the first half is a joy to read.

Obviously it sucks that Nesta was a huge bitch to Feyre for the beginning of her childhood. However, it was wrong for Rhysand to threaten her- he is a man male with a huge insane amount of power, and it is not okay for him to threaten to bring the brunt of it down on a young girl because she was a bitch to his girlfriend.

I've seen a lot of discourse on the morality of F/R sending her out of Velaris. Here is my two cents:

It was okay for them to cut her off of their money. If they don't want to enable her self-harm, that is their choice. Again, it's their money, even if it wasn't fairly earned (Rhysand born into an enormous fortune).

It was not okay for them to banish her from Velaris with the implication that she was an embarrassment. Let me explain.

If Rhysand and Feyre are talking to her as sister/brother-in-law, then that is that. They have the complete right to express disapproval and try to help. However, they should not be using their royal privilege against her.

If they are talking to her as ruler to subject, then they have the power to banish her from the city. However, a ruler would not give a shit about a random subject getting drunk and having sex. So, they should not be talking her about her problems as a ruler to subject.

I've heard it compared to her being sent to rehab. However, rehab is a system designed to help people with certain problems. It has specialized medical centers and involves therapy. Nesta gets her life threatened multiple times. It is not rehab.

In summary: why did SJM inflict this upon us. Throne of Glass was actually good! GAHHH! After the first few books she completely whipped around and introduced the idea of males and mates and fey and that C is actually A and the quality took a huge nosedive. Sigh.

Final horrible but unmistakable truth: The entire ACOTAR series reads like a bad A/B/O fic. I hate to say it but it's true. We're lucky there were no heat cycles. OH WAIT

#anti sjm #anti rhysand #anti acotar #anti acofas #anti acomaf #anti everything #anti feyre #to some extent #mentioned: the locked tomb #mentioned: gideon the ninth #mentioned: harrowhark nonagesimus #anti #strongly anti #pan-int #that's my ao3 tag! #meta #my post