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everylastbird · 15 days

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I've been thinking of a soulmates style au wherein hualian discover they are soulmates after XL saves HC as a child.

In this AU meeting your soulmate is incredibly rare and very auspicious, so even though HC is a commoner he is recognized as XL's future spouse and taken into the care of the royal family, but sequestered away from XL to maintain decorum. They see each other now and again, and interact during events and gatherings, but otherwise are kept separated. HC is delighted and pines and generally dreams of the day he gets to officially marry XL and be his wife.

(I like to personally use the term 'wife' in danmei specifically to mean 'the spouse that marries into the home of the other', so as he is marrying into XL's home, he would be the bride in this scenario.)

XL ascends, as in canon. Unlike in canon, when a soulmate ascends, so too does your soulmate, and HC ascends with XL.

XL also descends and falls from godhood, as in canon. Ever so magnanimous, JW ~kindly~ allows HC to stay in heaven upon XL's request, as HC didn't break any rules. HC is, however, bound to the heavens, unable to descend to seek out XL.

Centuries pass, and HC becomes known as a God of constancy, faithfulness, and marriage. He is regarded with both awe and pity. Poor HC, who remains loyal to a faithless god of misfortune. Isn't it incredible, how much he is willing and able to endure to uphold the sanctity of his marriage vows? He has a large faction of worshippers, mostly brides and wives in arranged, unhappy marriages, who pray to him for strength.

Few, if any, remember that Xianle fell before HC had the chance to marry XL. That all this time he has remained steadfast and true to his fiancé, rather than his husband. The gods that do look upon him with scorn and judgment. No one expects him to remain loyal to the likes of XL, so who does he think he is putting on this show for?

It doesn't matter what those gods, or even what his worshippers think of him, however. HC is loyal to XL out of love, and devotion. He is not suffering out of obligation. His only pain is that felt by his fiancé, and the pain of separation forced upon him.

And despite what the gods and his worshippers assume, he is not a long-suffering bride who sits and pines for his beloved. While he yearns for the day he can reunite with XL, HC spends his time playing the long-con. After all, is the keeping of house and home not one of the primary roles of any good wife? And the heavens are so steeped in filth. Certainly not worthy of his husband to be.

As for XL, he strives and toils to regain his godhood under the weight of his lost worshippers and the scorn of the gods who once praised him.

More than that, he worries, often, about HC, and his misplaced loyalty. Every now and then XL hears another tale of HC's endless, unshakeable loyalty, but with those tales also come stories of that devotion being nothing more than a shackle. Nothing is ever said of HC's love for his husband, or HC's happiness, only his impressive endurance in the face of obligation to a worthless husband. XL fears that HC is little more than a long suffering would-be bride, held back by XL's mistakes and the fate that bound them together without either of their say.

So XL does his best to regain his godhood, so that he may re-enter heaven and finally free HC from himself for good.

When, after 800 years, XL finally ascends once again, nothing is as he had expected it to be. There is a crowd, but no one is casting judgment or disparaging him. Instead, it seems as though he has ascended amidst the start of a lavish celebration.

As XL stands amidst a sea of joyful revelry, a procession slowly makes its way towards him, and at its end, a bridal sedan.

When the sedan stops before him and a hand moves aside its curtain, XL reaches out to grasp it without thinking. Gently, he leads the bride off of the sedan and onto solid ground.

XL looks up at a veil of opaque crimson silk. He cannot see the face behind it, does not even know, after all this time, what HC would even look like... But in this moment he knows, unquestionably, that this is not just any bride, but his bride.

Part of XL recalls that one of his main reasons to rise to godhood again was to let HC go, to finally allow him freedom from the weight of being tethered to someone like XL. And yet, any thoughts of breaking his vows to HC dry up in his mouth. He has thought of so many ways to say it, so many ways to cut HC loose of him without bringing HC any more pain, but he cannot bring himself to say any of them.

The hand in his grasp turns, and laces their fingers together. His bride's hand is strong, XL observes as though from a distance, unflinching and sure.

"Hello, gege," HC says. His voice is deeper than XL remembers, richer and more vibrant than anything he has experienced for decades, if not centuries.

"Ah, San Lang, I'm sorry, " he manages to force out through his shock. His laugh is pitchy and uneven even to his own ears. "I'm afraid I'm not quite prepared...!"

"It's okay, gege." A thumb carasses his knuckles tenderly, and XL's throat tightens. "I already have everything ready for us."

#hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #tgcf #heaven official's blessing #take this drabble i wrote in my notes app during lunch break that went off the rails #i got gripped by the thought of XL ascending into the midst of a wedding procession only for him to realize it was *his* wedding and #couldnt control myself #given that this is almost 1000 words i really may clean this up and make a proper fic of it

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emotionaldisaster909 · 4 months

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This scene of him walking after QiangQui.

With an outstretched hand.

And a call of his name that got no answer.

Helpless to stop him.

Helpless to say anything else to him.

He accepted being nailed in a coffin, buried alive for 100 years for crimes he didn’t commit.

Yet he is unable to speak in the face of what he actually did.

In the face of his disciple knowing that his teacher lied to him.

Feeling that anything good he did for him by taking on the punishment far greater than anyone could ever deserve

Was just reduced to nothing.

He readily took a blame for a massacre he didn’t do

But he can’t handle the guilt of ending a life of a dying person and lying to someone who trusted him

Even if by this he prevented genocide and archived future peace for his people he once failed to protect.

Because he still killed.

And still hurt.

He can’t be pretend to be a cold-hearted Guoshi anymore.

His disciple won’t turn around.

#tgcf #hualian #xie lian #hua cheng #lang qianqiu #fangxin guoshi #why am i making myself cry #tian guan ci fu #tgcf thoughts #tgcf season 2 #tgcf donghua #heaven officials blessing #天官赐福 #tgcf s2 #tgcf analysis

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lazycranberrydoodles · 7 months

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fun fact about me: for about a year (2019-2020) i did all of my digital art in mspaint with a laptop mouse and i got really good at it. i planned to do something nice but school said otherwise so i ended up using mspaint as god intended. i bring assorted mxtx doodles.

(^my scene wwx and goth lwj designs that i've been drawing for months but never posted)

#i COULD have used a custom brush and a small canvas in procreate to make it easier on myself but :)#its my opinion that limitations make better art (<- copium for some of her best work being in mspaint)#i used jspaint which is an online replica of mspaint because i have a mac now #its very good except it doesnt do *the eraser trick* which i'm sad about #iykyk #(when you set certain colors in actual mspaint and right click w the eraser you can set it to erase only one color)#(this can removed sketches from under lineart for example)#niche online communities will make you SO knowledgeable about the flags of states of the holy roman empire. or the intricacies of mspaint.#my art #art #mdzs #tgcf #mo dao zu shi #tian guan ci fu #the grandmaster of diabolism #heaven official's blessing #hob #wei wuxian #shadow the hedgehog #lan wangji #wangxian #jiang cheng #jin ling #hua cheng #cringetober 2023 #cringetober #lmao

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doki-doki-imagines · 1 year

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You never show your face to him during intimate moments.

Bachira Meguru:

-No way he is okay with this, he needs to see your eyes to understand what is going on.

-They are also the first trait that pulled him to you, so covering them ruins all the fun.

-“Ohi, what’s wrong?”

-There is no way Bachira will let this topic go, he’ll cage you under him and he’ll stare until you break.

-Bachira can be pretty intimidating when he wants.

-So you break, you tell him you don’t want to see his disgusted face when he’ll look at your body, how you are scared shitless of your low appeal, and…damn you can’t talk anymore between sobs.

-Bachira treats you with the delicacy that only someone in love could have. He is still caging you under him, but his expression is much softer like his embrace.

-“You can be so dumb at times. Don’t know how those thoughts got into that silly head of yours, but I’ll make sure to push them all away”

Rin Itoshi: -Why do you always hide your face, why do you always turn the other way around, why, why, why

-So Rin thinks he is the problem, you don’t want to look at him because you are disgusted by him, maybe you prefer to think of someone else…

- As often happen Rin's green monster crawls under his skin, ready to vomit venom on you at the first sign of hiding.

-But this time, when you cover your eyes for the nth time Rin notices something new; are your lips trembling? Are you gonna cry? Is he so disgusting?

-So with his usual gentlemanly ways, he grips your wrist to push your arms out of the way and whispers “What the hell is wrong with you”

-The atmosphere is so tense you think it is gonna kill you soon if you don’t spill your insecurity and that’s what you do, chest heavy, but trying to maintain at least a bit of dignity

-“Never heard such dumb shit ever in my life”

-If the situation wasn’t so dramatic, you have kneed his kidney.

-So you think to be the problem…this change the entire situation! He doesn’t know how to deal with this situation anyway, but he feels relieved!

-A little less relieved when he looks at your face, eyes watery and ugly pout.

-Rin for sure doesn’t know how to express himself with words, so he’ll do it physically. Will it take more time? Probably, but it is the easiest way for him while trying to make you understand how pure shit those intrusive thoughts are.

Oliver Aiku:

-With a guy like Oliver the issue came out way sooner than with the others guys.

-And for you, the issue got even worse since it was way easier to imagine him going with someone else if you aren’t good enough.

-With someone else, Oliver wouldn’t have given two fucks in all honesty.

-But he is serious about you?? So he at least wants to try, he doesn’t want to give up so easily.

-It was during a normal indoor date that Oliver asked you about this.

-You were watching a film together, your head lying on his chest, his arm around your waist, so it was easy to stop your probable runaway.

-And he was so good at making you relax. It’s not like it was easy to talk about the topic, but at least Oliver put you at ease.

-But his ass is burnt. Do you trust him so little? Damn it hurts. He jokes about it with you, laughs even, but the pain is real.

-Oliver will try anything in his capabilities to make you understand that more often than not brains can come out with fucked up shit that aren’t true.

-But now you also have to demonstrate you trust him; it still stings you know?

#bllk imagines #blue lock imagines #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #bllk headcanons #blue lock headcanons #bachira meguru #bachira meguru x you #rin itoshi #rin itoshi x reader #oliver aiku #oliver aiku x reader #often read over confident reader with their body and since I'm not I decided to make a trope for reader like me #even if honestly I hope nobody has my same problem #Overconfidence in this case I think it is a blessing LOL #I had so many characters in mind but went for them #I love you Oliver #did I put him in the ship post...I think I have to edit it ouch #what a girlkeep girlboss gaslight thing to do not adding him to keep Oliver all for myself AHAHAAH

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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 7 months

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if you were there beware, reading festival (2009) 💙

#making humbug alex gifs is not a coping mechanism i foresaw myself developing in my twenties but here we are #this is the ‘i’m very drunnnnnnk’ show #and honestly i’d never really noticed #but making these - some of his expressions are definitely a little telling bless him #the prettiest little woodland creature in all the land #alex turner #humbug era #arctic monkeys #alex gifs #lulu posts #my gifs

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dreamhot · 7 months

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luv u my untoasted bagel

#lee.art #trying to make myself do art again so i can . draw things #at all #god bless

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killuaisaprincess · 1 year

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Silent Princess

⳾*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*⳾

No. The taste of acid burns in his throat, bitter. His stomach sits so upset, he almost throws up, forced to keep a calm, royal demeanor. No. No. It’s not fair. It’s… tears sting burning his eyes as he blinks them away.

He just wants to help…

XxX

“Killua. Enough!”

His father never used that tone on him. He was often cold and harsh, but…

He can’t help but flinch in retaliation. Digging his nails into the royal blue sleeves of his gown.

“This can help!”

This technology! He knows it can! It’s so much better than dumb magical powers. A bitter thought.

“You cannot keep shirking your responsibilities! You are the only one who can seal Meruem!“

Shirking? Him? He knows more than anyone…! What he has to do…! The frustration builds in his chest, the tears that well up in his eyes. The uselessness he feels everyday! So he wants to do something to help! He enjoys studying. He’s trying! No one sees it! He tries! He prays and prays! He does anything he can, reading up, attempting, and attempting!

It all fails! Every attempt is like a dagger in his heart.

“I forbid you from studying those machines any longer until you awaken your power, understand?”

Those words draw the air right from his lungs as he looks up into his father’s cold eyes, his frame trembling.

Why…?

Why!

XxX

That sword… plunges into his heart more than anything. His frame is taut, breathing panicked, and caught in his throat.

“Killua.”

That calm voice is the only thing that can ever anchor him. Press down his anxieties and make him feel better for just a moment.

Killua looks up into those crimson eyes and feels a sense of relief. Kurapika is like a big brother to him. He’s strong, cool-headed, and amazing. Everything he wants to be.

What’s the point of this useless power if he can’t use it?!

“Pika… it’s… it’s not working! I keep trying! Why am I so useless…? Why won’t it awaken for me?!”

Is he that terrible? Why? Why? Why?

When he stands there. His destiny accepting him with open arms so easily…

And here he is… useless!

“Give it time, little bird; everyone learns at their own pace.”

Kurapika doesn’t smile often, but when he does, it eases the trembling in his shoulders a little, as the Kurta places a hand on his shoulder.

Right. Time.

Prickle. Prickle. The feeling runs against his skin. Bitter. Bitter.

He hates him.

XxX

Killua hates him. He hates him. Why…? Why is it the gods will ignore him… when he’s tried! And tried… there are still black circles under his eyes, as his skin burns in fury, and sadness and despair threatens to drown him. His personal knight? No! No, he doesn’t want this idiot to be his personal knight!

What? He can just pick up the legendary sword like it’s no problem! Like it’s easy?! And everyone praises him and looks at him with smiles…

And he…

His father…

The whole world…

XxX

Bitter. Bitter. Prickle. Prickle.

He has to keep calm when knighting the knight.

Gon.

When the knight takes his hand kneeling, he stiffens and flinches unwittingly, sucking in a breath.

The knight looks up with these bright amber eyes filled with so much life, and a pure shock of anger and pain runs down his spine as he swallows.

“It’s an honor, your highness. To protect you.”

Smiling at him like that… Killua catches a glimpse of the hilt of that sword, and it makes his head spin.

“Yes. It is a pleasure.”

He speaks as coldly as his father speaks to him.

XxX

“Stop following me!”

Brat. Selfish. He knows what they all think. Useless. Failure. Heir to a throne of nothing. Failure. Failure.

So what if he’s a brat?!

They don’t know…!

He’s prayed everyday his whole life!

“But, your highness!”

He doesn’t get this idiot; how can he still follow him! When Killua has been nothing but cold to him everyday.

Maybe he’s hoping… if he’s cold enough, the knight will leave him alone, and he won’t have to see that sword on his back that reminds him of all his failures!

Gon. He’s so full of light, and love, and energy, and-

Killua can’t stand it!

He huffs, stomping off, past Gon.

“I do not care what my father orders! Leave me alone!”

He just wants to study in peace!

“But, your highness!”

He can’t take this anymore! Another failure! Another look of disappointment from everyone he knows!

“Enough!”

He whirls around, anger flashing in his deep blue eyes, the edge of his boot catching on a rock. The pain that runs through his legs and behind are nothing compared to the shame that pools in his chest and spreads across his cheeks.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

Gon stares at him dumbfounded before jolting out of it, rushing over, and leaning next to him.

“Your highness? Are you alright?”

He sounds so genuinely concerned that Killua doesn’t know what to feel. A few tears land on his cheeks, and he doesn’t even try to brush them away, letting light wisps of his hair fall into his eyes.

A broken-hearted sob leaves his lips.

He can hear Gon audibly gasp, but he doesn’t care anymore. There is no more shame he can hold. He’s a useless heir with no foreseeable future because he can’t awaken it…

“Your highness-!”

He feels the rough warmth of Gon’s hand grab his own, and Killua tears it away, sniffling and looking toward the ground.

“Leave me alone.”

XxX

He was always envious of Gon. He thought he didn’t face any hardships at all.

He was wrong.

He wants to do something for Gon to apologize. More than just the words.

Killua doesn’t know why… when he thinks about him now… his heart won’t stop pounding…

Maybe he’ll make him something.

Gon was always hungry, always scarfing something down with Ikalgo…

XxX

His legs burn. Sweat clings everywhere, making the fibers of his blouse stick to his skin as he runs. His feet ache, and his lungs hurt too much. He can’t get another gasp of air in.

The fear is palpating.

He’s an idiot! He knew this was the territory of the Chimera, still he!

He just wants to be of use!

But now…

“Leave me alone!”

He had already told Gon…

What point would Gon have now…

He’s just been cold and harsh to him…

There’s an opening, and he keeps running even when his legs feel like collapsing. Killua skids to a stop, a harsh gasp leaving his lips as more of the Chimera circle around.

N-no!

He falls backward, the world around him spinning, his heartbeat roaring in his ears.

No. He’s- he’s going to die.

Before he can even-

One of them steps forward, snickering, and he scoots back, his breathing irregular and panicked.

It swings.

Killua closes his eyes, waiting for the inevitable, bringing his arms up to shield his face.

“Ah-!”

It doesn’t come. No agonizing pain to end his failure of an existence.

“Your highness!”

Killua opens his eyes slowly, lowering his arms just slightly so they rest at his chest, curled up there, trying to protect himself.

“G-Gon…?”

Why- why is Gon here… when…?

W-why…

Why…

He looks up toward Gon, a gasp caught in his throat.

Killua doesn’t think he’s ever seen Gon look so serious, determined…

He doesn’t know why, the usual feeling in his stomach that makes him feel sick, annoyed, and agitated. It still feels weird; his chest feels all funny too. But differently. That blade should just make him…

Make him feel such envy…

But he’s just dumbfounded, staring at Gon, watching him slice up the remainder of the Chimera with ease.

“Your highness!”

Gon sheathes his sword, running toward him, worry spilling over in those warm eyes of his as he leans over.

“Are you alright…?”

He pants and Killua looks away, his ears and cheeks burning.

Gon takes his hand so gently that it makes his heart race.

“I-I…”

Gon grabs his shoulder, and Killua can’t help but lean in close.

“I am fine.”

He tries to be polite and use the correct etiquette, but it all seems to fall apart when he looks into Gon’s eyes.

Prickle. Prickle.

Guilt.

“I-I…”

“Are you hurt?”

“I-I’m sorry.”

For everything.

XxX

“Gon, stop! You’re going to die!”

Please!

Killua already lost everyone else! Please don’t!

Don’t die, Gon!

He needs you!

“I’m okay, Ki. I’m gonna save you.”

There’s blood and grime all over Gon’s face, but even now, he’s smiling and stands in front of Killua to protect him.

“GON!”

Killua grabs Gon’s arm in desperation.

Please…

No!

He doesn’t want-

He doesn’t want Gon to die!

It’s aiming for Gon. It’s aiming for Gon!

No! No! No!

“Gon!”

Why, you idiot?! Why, even now, are you so ready to fight? Leave him! He’ll be fine!

It’s- it’s gonna kill Gon…

He steps in front, arm out, praying.

Please- please!

“NO!”

Bright blinding light…

XxX

“It’s called a Silent Princess; it’s an endangered species.”

Killua liked flowers, but he liked this one particularly. With the white and blue petals it was like a light and had a gentleness yet strength to it.

It was free, and-

His fingers brush against the petals, and Gon hums, leaning over his shoulder, staring.

Killua raises an eyebrow.

“Don’t you think it’s pretty?”

“Yeah! It’s pretty like you, your highness!”

The air gets caught right in his lungs, the tips of his ears going bright red as he stutters, coughing.

He didn’t speak formally around Gon anymore, but-but what gave this idiot the right to-!

“Wh-what?! Y-you can’t say that stuff, idiot! It’s-it’s ‘mbarrassing…”

He pouts, playing with a strand of his light hair, tucking it behind his ear.

“Oh, you’re right; I’m sorry, your highness!”

That just makes Killua puff out his cheeks more, crossing his arms over his chest and pointing his chin in the air, using his royal presence.

“Don’t call me that; just call me, Killua.”

“Okay, then I will, Ki!”

“Wha?!”

He looks toward Gon, who is grinning, offering a hand for Killua to take.

Killua grumbles, searching around in the grass for something, grabbing it despite how slimy it is.

“S-stop it, you moron! Eat this! Eat it!”

“W-wait!”

“You look like a dumb frog with your dumb face, so eat it!”

XxX

Why?

He tries! He keeps trying! He’s soaked and cold, the bottom of his dress is sopping wet, and a shiver runs down his spine, but he doesn’t stop trying, stop concentrating.

Nothing is happening!

He feels nothing!

Why? Why?

Is he so useless still…

Why! Why! Won’t this cursed power work for him!

“I can’t…”

Why…?

“What’s wrong with me…?”

Why… why won’t they…

The shame always pours into him, but more so knowing Gon is watching, oddly quiet.

He wraps his arms around himself, letting his tears fall and blend with the water.

“Your highness…”

Gon is calling him that now.

Why?! He just feels so empty…!

He throws his hands down in the water, biting back a scream, choking down a sob.

“Ki. Ki. Ki. Hey, it’s okay.”

He turns around, tears still in his crystalline blue eyes filled with pure pain and sorrow, his lips parted.

Gon’s ever an idiot, his pants now soaked, as he walks closer, placing his hands on Killua’s shoulders. Killua sinks into his touch, grabbing at his tunic and burying his face in his chest.

“I believe in you, Ki. And even if you don’t do it, that’s okay. I promise I’ll protect you.”

“G-Gon…”

He sobs into the chest of the man he’s grown to fall in love with.

XxX

It feels so familiar, running away.

The same fear, the same anxiety.

Killua doesn’t know. He doesn’t understand how it could have gone so wrong all at once. Meruem has awakened, the machines have gone rampant, and still! Still, his powers refuse to awaken.

He feels like he’s being crushed.

Gon’s still so brave, running on like- like

Like there’s hope.

Killua can’t-

He can’t keep up.

His hand slips from Gon’s, and he collapses to the floor, dirt in his hands, muddied up in the perfect fabric of his dress, rain pouring down and hitting his bare shoulders.

“Killua!”

Gon.

“Hey.”

He looks up at Gon, tears building up in his eyes, mixing with the onslaught of rain pouring down his cheeks.

“I-I! Everyone… everyone is dead… I… I…”

Why? Why? Why!?

“I let everyone down… my kingdom… my friends… my father…”

You.

So this is it… the boulder that’s pressing down on his heart is going to cave.

“This cursed power! I’ve tried! And-and… now…”

He can’t help the quaking of his frame, the trembling of his fingers, as mud gets beneath his nails.

He feels like he’s going to die.

It hurts too much.

It hurts.

It’s tearing him apart. His throat feels like it’s closing in, and he just sobs, his head aching and pounding.

“So I really am just a failure!”

Everyone is dead… because- because of him…

He collapses in Gon’s arms, every ounce of pain leaving his lips as he screams and cries.

“G-Gon, please, I- can’t do it… I can’t. It hurts.”

He feels so safe and warm in Gon’s arms, even with the rain that’s soaked him to the bone, as Gon wraps his arms around him tightly, holding him close.

For a moment, Killua feels alright.

Gon presses the top of his lips to the crown of Killua’s head.

“It’s okay, Ki. I promise. I’ll make everything right.”

XxX

“Are you sure?”

He can’t help but be anxious as Gon offers him a hand to ride atop his horse. It’s true, Killua did want to learn to ride his own horse, but now he’s starting to have second thoughts, his stomach churning.

“You’ll be okay, highness; I’m here.”

Gon always called him that when he was trying to reassure him, but Killua didn’t like it. He doesn’t like being reminded.

He takes Gon’s hand hesitantly, and Gon pulls him up gingerly, and Killua bites back a scream that slips out partially.

This doesn’t seem very stable…

He wraps his arms around Gon’s neck, sitting on his lap and screwing his eyes shut.

Gon laughs and Killua feels his face flush.

“You’re really cute, your highness.”

“S-stop making fun of me!”

“I would never, Ki!”

XxX

“Please, no! Gon! Please!”

“I’m okay, Ki.”