You never show your face to him during intimate moments.
Bachira Meguru:
-No way he is okay with this, he needs to see your eyes to understand what is going on.
-They are also the first trait that pulled him to you, so covering them ruins all the fun.
-“Ohi, what’s wrong?”
-There is no way Bachira will let this topic go, he’ll cage you under him and he’ll stare until you break.
-Bachira can be pretty intimidating when he wants.
-So you break, you tell him you don’t want to see his disgusted face when he’ll look at your body, how you are scared shitless of your low appeal, and…damn you can’t talk anymore between sobs.
-Bachira treats you with the delicacy that only someone in love could have. He is still caging you under him, but his expression is much softer like his embrace.
-“You can be so dumb at times. Don’t know how those thoughts got into that silly head of yours, but I’ll make sure to push them all away”
Rin Itoshi:
-Why do you always hide your face, why do you always turn the other way around, why, why, why
-So Rin thinks he is the problem, you don’t want to look at him because you are disgusted by him, maybe you prefer to think of someone else…
- As often happen Rin's green monster crawls under his skin, ready to vomit venom on you at the first sign of hiding.
-But this time, when you cover your eyes for the nth time Rin notices something new; are your lips trembling? Are you gonna cry? Is he so disgusting?
-So with his usual gentlemanly ways, he grips your wrist to push your arms out of the way and whispers “What the hell is wrong with you”
-The atmosphere is so tense you think it is gonna kill you soon if you don’t spill your insecurity and that’s what you do, chest heavy, but trying to maintain at least a bit of dignity
-“Never heard such dumb shit ever in my life”
-If the situation wasn’t so dramatic, you have kneed his kidney.
-So you think to be the problem…this change the entire situation! He doesn’t know how to deal with this situation anyway, but he feels relieved!
-A little less relieved when he looks at your face, eyes watery and ugly pout.
-Rin for sure doesn’t know how to express himself with words, so he’ll do it physically. Will it take more time? Probably, but it is the easiest way for him while trying to make you understand how pure shit those intrusive thoughts are.
Oliver Aiku:
-With a guy like Oliver the issue came out way sooner than with the others guys.
-And for you, the issue got even worse since it was way easier to imagine him going with someone else if you aren’t good enough.
-With someone else, Oliver wouldn’t have given two fucks in all honesty.
-But he is serious about you?? So he at least wants to try, he doesn’t want to give up so easily.
-It was during a normal indoor date that Oliver asked you about this.
-You were watching a film together, your head lying on his chest, his arm around your waist, so it was easy to stop your probable runaway.
-And he was so good at making you relax. It’s not like it was easy to talk about the topic, but at least Oliver put you at ease.
-But his ass is burnt. Do you trust him so little? Damn it hurts. He jokes about it with you, laughs even, but the pain is real.
-Oliver will try anything in his capabilities to make you understand that more often than not brains can come out with fucked up shit that aren’t true.
-But now you also have to demonstrate you trust him; it still stings you know?
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