#thank you internet stranger for telling me that there is no e at the end of smoliv | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

succubusphan · 9 months

Text

Two Man Team - Chapter 13

Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.

Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.

Rating: E

Tags/warnings: Friends to lovers, Friends with benefits, mental health issues (mainly anxiety), Slow burn, Dan is a psych student. Canon divergence (the timeline is altered and some things never happened), Slutty Phil, Angst with a happy ending. The fic spans many years.

Author's Note: Written for the OSPBB 2023 @oldschoolpbb. Thank you @effingmeteors for being my life saviour and beta as usual and to my artist Lin @anironsidh.

Edits and the art will be added at some point, we are busy bees.

This is basically the epilogue, thank you for joining me in this journey and I hope you enjoyed the ride.

Total Word Count: 75k ish

Read on Ao3

CHAPTER 13: Two Man Team

January of 2019

Having spent the holidays with his family without telling them about Dan was harder than Phil had expected, but he needed to discuss the situation with Dan first. They of course knew that Dan had returned to YouTube and that they had rekindled their friendship, but Phil had avoided any further questions on the topic.

After a bit of back and forth, he and Dan decided that keeping appearances for Phil’s birthday at the end of the month was not really an option, so they sat down on the sofa fumbling with Phil’s phone, opening his mum’s contact and finally hitting the facetime button on accident when he almost dropped his phone to the floor.

“Child!” Phil’s mother said.

Phil scrambled to set the camera to his face without showing Dan. “Hi, Mum!” he replied, his voice cracking from the nerves as if he was 15 all over again. “How are you?”

“Doing well, you know, tending to the garden,” she smiled. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing?” he said, sounding like it was definitely something.

“Phil, I am your mother. Don’t try to lie, you are terrible at it.”

“I just - wanted to tell you something,” he said, biting his lip.

“Are you ill?” She asked, sounding quite concerned, her face falling.

“No! Not at all. I’m seeing someone,” he said and almost slapped himself. Dan gave him a reproachful look. They were a bit past the “seeing each other” stage.

“Oh!” She said, her smile returning. “You have a partner?”

“Yes! I actually misspoke. I do have a partner,” he clarified.

“Well, that’s quite nice. How long have you been together?”

Phil looked at Dan with wide eyes, there were so many possible answers to that question. Dan shrugged and mouthed an “October?” at him.

“Uh, October - ish,” Phil said, looking back at her. “We were seeing where things were going but we - made it official in October.”

“Why didn’t you bring them over for Christmas?” She asked.

She was trying not to push, Phil could tell, but after he posted his coming out, there was no need to keep beating around the bush. “He, Mum, we can say it. It’s a man.”

She laughed, letting out a happy sigh. “Oh, I’m glad, Child. I didn’t want to assume or offend you. You know how much your father and I love you, we just want you to be happy.”

Phil did know, but he smiled nonetheless. “Yeah…”

“What can you tell me about your partner - boyfriend?”

“It’s D-Dan!” he said, with a nervous laugh. “And… well, you know Dan.”

“Oh, dear! I love Dan! What a sweet boy! Oh, Phil, that is just wonderful,” she said, sounding genuinely happy. “Since October?” she prodded, narrowing her eyes.

Phil laughed and looked at Dan’s beaming face, gesturing for him to speak up, but Dan only made a silly face at him.

“Yes!” Phil said. “I swear, since October. We took things slowly because of… the time we were apart.”

“Hiiii!” said Dan as Phil turned the phone towards him.

“Oh, hi love! How have you been?” She asked, “Can you hear me?”

“Yes, he can hear you,” Phil said.

“I’m doing well, very happy,” Dan said, with that tone he’d always used with Phil’s mum. He had always been a sweet talker.

“That’s all that matters then! Phil, you have to bring him over for your birthday!”

“Yes!” Dan said before Phil could reply. “I accept the invitation!”

Phil poked his side as they both laughed. “We’ll be there for the weekend.”

“Martyn and Cornelia are coming as well!” She said.

“Who is that?” Asked Phil’s dad in the background.

“It’s Phil! Do you want to talk to him?”

His father didn’t reply to her and just grabbed the phone. “Hello, son,” he said merrily. “Are you coming to us for your birthday?”

“Yeah,” he said and hesitated for only a second but that was enough.

“He has a boyfriend!” His mum said, sounding almost more excited about it than Phil.

“Oh! A boyfriend! That’s nice. Is he treating you well?”

“No, he’s horrible to me!” Phil said, theatrically.

“Shut up!” said Dan, blushing and slapping his arm.

“I know that voice! Don’t I know that voice?” Phil’s dad asked away from the phone.

“It’s Dan!” said his mum.

“Yeah, It’s Dan,” said Phil, still giggling about his little joke and the effect it had on Dan.

“Hi, Dan!” His dad said. “You found yourself a nice boyfriend there?”

Dan squished his face to Phil’s to be in frame “Sometimes I’m inclined to believe that no,” he laughed.

“I’ll have you know I’m a wonderful boyfriend,” Phil said.

Dan gave him a look and a cheeky smile. “He leaves every cupboard open after making coffees he doesn’t actually drink until they are cold.”

“Spend a lot of time with him?” Phil’s dad asked, reading between the lines.

“He stayed over one day and never left,” Phil said, with a laugh.

“Don’t say that, they will think I’m just leeching here,” Dan said, swatting at him. “I moved in recently, when my lease was up.”

“You could have come for Christmas then,” commented Phil’s mum.

“His family wanted him with them as well, Mum. Don’t worry, I will drag him over soon.”

“Good, you do that,” Phil’s father said. “Dan, take care of him for me.”

“I will,” Dan said with a small smile.

“See you then,” Phil’s dad said. “Bye!”

“Bye!” Dan and Phil said in unison, making his mum laugh.

“Bye, boys!” She said and disconnected the call.

“That went better than expected,” Dan said, pressing a small kiss to his lips.

“It was good,” Phil agreed and wrapped his arms around Dan’s frame. “I’m glad that they were so calm about it.”

“It’s because they knew, or they suspected. Your dad definitely knew.”

“He has been onto us since the beginning.”

Dan tsked. “I don’t think we were as slick as we thought we were.”

“Probably not,” Phil snorted.

---

When the weekend of Phil’s birthday finally rolled around, he and Dan were in a bit of a panic.

Even though the phone call with the announcement had gone fairly well, it was a bit nerve wracking for Phil because he had never officially introduced anyone as a boyfriend. His family knew that he was gay but it wasn’t something that he really talked about. They had sort of figured it out on their own and were kind enough not to bother him about it. And Dan was nervous to see Phil’s parents again as Phil’s boyfriend, this was also a new experience for him and he was still getting used to being out of the closet.

As soon as they set foot in his parents’ house, Phil’s mum pulled Dan into a hug and pinched his cheek, which was quite hard because of the height difference. Still, Dan bent down and let her enjoy herself. He beamed as Phil’s parents welcomed him in without a hint of awkwardness.

“Go take your bags upstairs and come back down to sit by the fire, we’ll be right over with some tea,” his mum said, gesturing to the sofas by the fireplace on her way to the kitchen with her husband in tow.

Phil didn’t need to be told twice. With the wind raging outside and snow threatening to fall, by the fire was exactly where he wanted to be. He took Dan’s coat and put it away before leading his boyfriend to one of the two guest bedrooms. It was decorated in muted colours and consisted of a double bed, two bedside tables and a few decorative items. Phil looked around and sighed, wishing that they were still at his old family home; this one didn’t hold the same memories.

Dan wrapped his arms around him, hugging him from behind. “Everything ok?” He asked, resting his chin on Phil’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I was just thinking.”

“What about?” Dan said, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“I wish we could go back to the old house.”

“Hmm, the place where we first got together,” Dan mused. “That would be nice, but we can make new memories here.”

“Yeah,” Phil said and turned around, resting his arms on Dan’s shoulder and leaning in for a kiss.

Dan shoved his cold hands under Phil’s hoodie making him squirm and jump back with a laugh.

“You beast!” Phil said.

“Better?” Dan smirked.

“Yeah, but I’ll get you later!”

“Can’t wait,” Dan said, wiggling his eyebrows and walking out the door.

Phil shook his head and followed after him, catching up to Dan who was already on the sofa and sitting at his side, leaving the two armchairs across the coffee table for his parents.

Dan stretched his arms towards the fire and rubbed them together. “I am finally starting to feel my fingers again.”

“I wish I could climb inside the fire,” Phil added and Dan gave him a warning look. “It was just an expression.”

He knew that Phil was not being serious but with how prone to accidents he was, they could never be too safe. “I miss having a fireplace,” lamented Dan and Phil made a mental note of that.

“At least we have an aircon,” Phil commented, rubbing Dan’s back.

“True, but it’s hard to appreciate it during the winter months.”

“Here we are!” Phil’s mum said, walking over and narrowly avoiding dropping the tray before setting it down on the coffee table. “Milk, Dan?” She gave them a little smile when she saw Phil’s hands on Dan’s back.

“Yes, please,” Dan said, clearing his throat.

His dad sat down and reached for his own cup, adding sugar and stirring before taking a sip and smiling happily.

“You look so handsome,” his mum said, handing the cup to Dan. “Is this your natural hair?”

“No, I got a perm,” Dan laughed and Phil saw him relaxing a bit into his spot on the sofa. He took a sip of his tea and hummed. “Yes, it is my natural hair. I just didn’t like it before.”

“I think it’s an improvement from your previous look,” she smiled, blowing into her cup as she stirred her tea.

“Oh, absolutely,” he said, pausing. “So, how are you two doing? Do you enjoy living on the Island?”

Phil’s dad nodded. “Yes, I think this is one of the best decisions we ever made. We loved our house, but this is the perfect place to retire to.”

“We like to go on walks around the cliffs on most days,” she added. “I find the sea breeze refreshing and calming.”

“Sounds like paradise,” Dan said.

Phil could tell what his parents were hinting at so he decided to stir the conversation away from that topic. “When are Mar and Corn getting here?” He said, finally reaching for his own cup and taking a tentative sip, humming gleefully when he tasted the honey.

“Tomorrow, sometime after 3, I believe,” his dad said.

“Good!” Phil replied. “I think he will be happy to see Dan again.”

“Does Martyn know?” His mother asked.

“No. I mean, he probably did, but no, nobody knew for certain. Just Mark and his boyfriend and we told Anja recently.”

Dan nodded. “We were not trying to be super secretive about it, but we wanted to make sure that things were working properly before we told anyone else, if that makes sense?”

“Can I ask something?” She asked.

“Of course, anything,” Dan said, and Phil was tempted to say that maybe not anything but kept quiet.

“You know, Phil never said anything to us, but I thought you were dating back in the day. Then it made sense to me that Phil didn’t bring any girls over, just you. And Anja.”

“It was not like that with Dan - or with Anja.”

Dan made a noncommittal face. “It was kind of like that, but not really. We liked each other, definitely, but we weren’t officially dating, I would say.”

“We weren’t,” Phil said. “And Anja is a lesbian; she has had a girlfriend since… 2011 I believe. I introduced them.”

“You didn’t date Anja then?” She asked.

Phil shook his head. “No, she stayed because I was her gay friend and she knew it was safe.”

“Oh, and then she came over with a girl… and you slept on the sofa.” She pressed her hand to her forehead. “I thought you were just embarrassed to send her friend to the sofa to have some privacy,” she said in wonder.

“Mum!” Phil said, feeling the heat rising to his face. “I would have never done that with you in the house.”

Dan laughed.

“Are all of your friends gay?” His dad asked.

Phil hummed. “Not every single friend, but I would say that most friends I’ve made in the last few years are gay. We just understand each other better.”

Dan nodded. “I grew up and found out that not only were some of my bullies gay but most of my friends too, even though none of us were out at the time, and some of us didn’t even know yet.”

“I suppose that you find people that you can relate to and have things in common, if that’s being gay, or knitting, or having a book club, right?” His mum asked.

“That’s a good point,” Dan said.

Then his dad looked at Phil and caught him off guard. “Dan stayed over quite often when travelled,” he commented with an amused smile, apparently realising what Phil hadn’t meant to imply before.

Phil coughed but his mum was thankfully ready to save him.

“It’s so wonderful that you are back together now,” She said.

Dan nodded. “It took some time, but he thankfully listened to me when I apologised and explained myself.”

“Phil can be a little stubborn,” she conceded.

“He was more than a little stubborn, but I deserved it,” Dan said. “It was not easy, but I’m glad he had it in him to forgive me,” he reached towards Phil and laced their fingers together.

The butterflies in Phil’s stomach were still there and he could feel himself blushing, but when he looked at his parents he saw nothing but acceptance and perhaps a little relief that he wasn’t going to die alone after all.

“You seem like a good match,” his dad said with a gentle smile.

Phil’s heart burst with happiness. He could hear the pride in his father’s voice, the pride he had wanted to hear his entire life. “Thank you,” he said, clearing his throat as he tried to not get overly emotional.

“So how is… work?” His dad asked.

“Quite good,” Phil said, feeling thankful to have something else to focus on. “I have exciting projects going and Dan too.”

“Anything you can share?” He asked.

“Not yet, but you will know soon enough,” Phil said.

“Please give us a warning if it’s something important so we don’t hear about it from the neighbours,” his mum said.

Phil winced and mumbled an “Alright.” He took a long sip from his cup. “I didn’t tell them before posting my coming out,” he mumbled in Dan’s general direction.

“You didn’t tell them before posting?” Dan asked, looking at Phil out of the corner of his eye.

“No, he doesn’t tell us much these days,” She said, a bit too dramatically.

“Don’t say that, I just figured you knew already,” Phil said, snorting. “And I forgot.”

“We knew but we didn’t know!” She said. “And then we watched Dan’s video - which was so wonderful by the way - and we finally got some idea of what went on in your life.”

Phil huffed, starting to get a bit annoyed.

“Thank you,” Dan said. “It was a lot of work but I’m glad that you liked it.” He squeezed Phil’s hand in support.

Phil was grateful that his boyfriend knew how to suck up to his mum and stir the conversation away from him and how bad of a son he was.

“It was very emotional,” she said. “I quite enjoyed it, even though it had some sad parts. I wish you didn’t have to go through that.” She looked at Dan with deep sadness in her eyes.

“Well, it all turned me into a person I’m proud to be today,” Dan said.

“We are proud of you too, Dan,” his dad said and before Dan could react, he continued. “Actually, if you could come with me, I want to show you something.” He got up to his feet.

“Of course,” Dan said and followed him to his office, throwing Phil a confused look over his shoulder.

“Come,” Phil’s mum whispered then. She grabbed their coats and took his hand, pulling him through the sliding door and out to the garden.

“It’s way too cold to be out,” Phil said, sipping his jacket on and pulling his gloves out of his pocket.

“Oh, it will boost your immune system,” she said, holding onto his arm as they walked slowly in circles around the garden. “I wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I told you, I am happy with Dan.” He interlaced his fingers to make sure his gloves were properly fitted.

“I know, I know. You do look happy, but I worry sometimes,” she said. “After Dan left - you weren’t the same for a long time. I don’t think you are the same, even now.”

“Neither is he. We both went through quite a bit of pain together and on our own,” Phil admitted. “And nobody is the same at 31 than at twenty-something.”

“That’s fair. I am just a bit scared for you too, even though I know Dan is a good boy.”

“We will be alright this time, Mum,” he reassured her. “The thing you don’t understand is that with him in the closet and me being only partially out, things were never going to work. At the time Dan wasn’t even able to accept himself, so dealing with that publicly on top of our feelings was too much.”

“My heart breaks for him,” she said. “I’m sure the relationship will work this time.” She patted Phil’s arm

“You can never be 100% sure of anything, but it took almost a year to get back to a place where we were comfortable enough to start dating again and we haven’t had any major issues,” Phil said.

She let out a deep sigh of relief and smiled widely. “I’m glad to hear that, Child. You two deserve to be happy and it seems that you are determined to be together.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, it’s nothing bad. You fought through any sort of problem that came your way to make it to the other side and I think that’s what matters. No relationship comes without obstacles, the important thing is that you work to sort through them.”

He nodded. “Do you and Dad argue a lot now that you are retired?”

“Not much anymore,” she said, patting his hand. “We know who we are and what to do to avoid creating arguments. And we still love each other.”

Phil smiled. “What’s your secret?” He asked.

Humming, she paused for a moment before replying. “Don’t hang on to silly tiffs and never go to sleep angry. Solve your arguments before bed. That’s what your grandma told me and It worked well.”

“I will,” Phil said, getting lost in thought when he realised that the two year anniversary of his grandma’s death was coming. He missed her so much.

His mum caught up to the reason for his silence. “She was very proud of you, you know?” She said, “A few years ago, she asked if you were dating anyone and I told her that I believed so. That made her happy, even when I told her that it might be a boy.”

Phil’s eyes welled up with tears briefly. He wished he’d had that conversation with her but she had gotten ill and passed before Phil could make his way back. He shouldn’t have waited so long to talk to her about it. At least now he knew that she supported him. “Do you think she would have liked Dan?” he asked.

“She would have loved to meet Dan, but she knew of him from YouTube,” she said.

Phil’s eyebrows burrowed into a frown. “How?”

“You have to remember that Dan was the only person you brought home so I showed her a few of the videos you made together.”

“Oh my god! What videos?” Phil asked, half amused, half horrified. A single tear slid down his cheek but he rubbed it away quickly. Sniffling through the laugh.

“Only the more innocent ones,” she said, raising one eyebrow at him.

“I can’t believe you showed her that. You like to gossip way too much,” Phil said.

She booped the tip of his nose. “And you took after me, so I don’t want to hear it, dear.”

“Alright,” Phil said. “Thank you for the advice and for showing grandma a part of me I didn’t have the chance to share with her. It means more to me than you know.” He turned towards her and pulled her into a hug.

“You’re welcome, dear,” she smiled. “Let’s go back inside, you are shaking like a leaf.”

They made their way back into the house and Phil could still hear his dad’s voice faintly mid-conversation.

“...You make him happy. We were so worried about him these past few years,” he said. “I wanted you to know that you will always be welcome in this house.”

“Thank you, Mr Lester,” Dan said.

“Nigel,” his dad said. “In your video, you said that your father didn’t take your … email very well. Right?”

“No,” Dan mumbled.

Phil followed their voices and stood in the hallway, shamelessly listening in.

“Sometimes the people we love are the ones that hurt us the most, but the good thing is that we can find other people to love. We are your family, Dan.”

“I -” Dan paused. “Thank you, you don’t know how much this means…”

Phil turned around the corner and saw Dan hugging his dad tightly. He stood there for a moment, staring at the scene with a shocked smile and retreated to the downstairs bathroom to give them some privacy and compose himself. He looked in the mirror and smiled, still a little moved by his parents’ reaction, he hadn’t expected this much support from them, and now he felt guilty for ever doubting them.

After a few minutes, he joined his mother in setting the table.

Dinner went without a hitch and it came with a much lighter tone. They shared a bottle of wine over pasta and played Scrabble past midnight when his mum finally deemed the night over.

They said their goodbyes and climbed up the stairs to the guest bedroom. The bed looked so soft and comfortable it was basically screaming Phil’s name. He slipped into his pyjamas quickly to avoid the biting cold and slid under the covers.

Dan snorted a laugh. “Cold?”

“Uh-huh. Aren’t you?” Phil mumbled, only his eyes peeking from under his burrow.

“Not that much. I think the wine got to me.” He took off his jeans and pulled on a different hoodie before getting under the covers and scooching closer to Phil. “Come here,” Dan said, pulling him into a hug and dropping a kiss to the tip of his nose.

Phil sighed happily, slipping his fingers into the curls on the back of Dan’s hair that was beginning to grow just a bit too long for Dan’s taste. “Love you,” he said, leaning in for a slow kiss.

Dan’s hold on him tightened, his hand sliding under Phil’s pyjama top and resting on his lower back.

There was no urgency, no heat, just comfort and familiarity. Phil knew that if he chose to push Dan in the slightest way, he would probably jump at the opportunity to have sex, but they would have their fun at home. Home. The flat they shared for the time being before -

He smiled and broke the kiss, staring into Dan’s eyes in the moonlight.

“Winter is my favourite. I love the cold because I can hold you like this and sleep without us drowning in a pool of sweat,” Dan laughed.

“We can do this all year, you just have to program the aircon fairly low. You are like a tiny oven.”

“I’m not tiny,” Dan pouted.

“You will always be the tiniest of babies to me,” Phil teased.

“Shut up, old man,” Dan said, letting out a yawn. “Big spoon or little spoon?”

“Mmmm, big spoon,” Phil said, wrapping his arms around Dan’s torso when he turned around. He kissed Dan’s shoulders and threw one leg over Dan’s, tangling it between his feet and smiled.

“You’re a weird one, Lester.”

“Your mum is weird,” Phil mumbled and shut his eyes.

“Happy birthday, Babe,” mumbled Dan.

“Mmm, thanks.”

This was going to be his best year, he could already tell.

---

The following morning, Phil woke up to his mum shaking him by the shoulder. He threw a hand over his eyes to let them adjust to the brightness. “Mum!” Phil whines, stretching his hand in search of Dan.

“Happy birthday, love!” She said. “Dan is already dressed and sitting down for breakfast. Wouldn’t you like to join us?”

Phil groaned. Why did Dan have to suck up to his parents by getting up early too? It was his birthday, he could have slept in. “What time is it?”

“It’s eleven already, so up, up! Off you go to the bathroom,” she said. “I made pancakes!”

Phil’s eyes widened. The one thing his mum didn’t ruin or burn to a crisp. “Alright!” He said and got up, changing into a warmer hoodie and heading downstairs after a pit stop at the bathroom.

“A pit stop,” he mumbled to himself with a snort. He needed to stop watching Formula 1 with Dan.

“There he is!” his dad said as soon as Phil walked into the kitchen, making him smile. “Happy birthday, son.”

“Thank you,” Phil said.

Dan reached out to him and pulled him by the hand to sit at his side. He leaned in to kiss his cheek and whispered a “Happy birthday, Love,” into his ear.

Phil smiled so widely he thought his face might just split from the happiness and then he made eye contact with his mum, who had watched the interaction closely and blushed.

At least she looked happy for him but it was a bit embarrassing. On the other hand, Phil couldn’t help but notice that Dan didn’t completely avoid PDA, he just kept them at a minimum. It was not something that they had discussed, but Phil wouldn’t have expected Dan to be ok with something like this after being in the closet for so long. It was a good birthday surprise.

“Sleep well?” asked Dan.

Phil nodded, reaching across the table for his coffee mug.

“Well, wait a minute,” his mum said, squeezing lemon on top of his pancakes and sprinkling them with sugar before handing him the plate.

“Do you want to share?” He asked Dan.

“I already ate mine. These are all yours.”

“You didn’t wait for me?” Phil pouted.

“I was hungry, bitch. I woke up at 9!” Dan teased.

“Wow, you should have woken me up!”

“Please, I know how you get - and it’s your birthday.” Dan gave him a look.

“I don’t know what you mean. I am a perfect angel,” Phil said.

Dan rolled his eyes at him and snorted.

“Martyn will be here around 3 so that’s when I will serve the roast and we can cut the cake after. Is that ok?” his mum asked.

“Yes,” Phil said. “Our flight it’s not until 9 so we can leave around 7.”

“What a pitty that you couldn't stay a bit longer,” his dad said.

“I know, I’m sorry but we have work. We will visit again at some point,” Phil said.

“I hope that you can visit in a few months and stay over,” Dan said. “I am going on tour with a new project and I would love it if you could come.”

“Of course!” Phil’s mum said. “Will your mother be there?”

“Um, sure. We can get tickets for both families on the same date,” Dan said.

“Wonderful!” she said with a smile.

“When will it be?” Phil’s dad asked.

“Closer to the end of the year. I will let you know exactly when the producers tell me,” Dan said.

Phil looked between Dan and his mum, smiling at how sweetly she was pushing him into a corner to make a family reunion happen as soon as possible even with them living on opposite ends of the country. Still, he decided to rescue his boyfriend.

“Do you need help with anything, Dad?” Phil asked.

“Yes, actually! You can start chopping the onions and peeling potatoes,” he said. “Dan, do you think you can run to the store and get some more wine?”

“Yes, absolutely!” said Dan, surely aching to escape Phil’s mum’s interrogation.

“I will walk with you, dear,” she said, already reaching for her coat before Dan could say no.

Phil snorted and went in search of the onions. When he got back into the kitchen, his dad was waiting for him with a small framed art piece. He had to pause for a moment. He placed his hand on his heart and grabbed it with shaky hands. It was a charcoal drawing of the last picture Phil had taken with his parents and his grandma, but his dad had added Dan in. His eyes welled up in tears and he set the picture on the counter before pulling his dad into a tight hug with a choked sob. “T-thank you!”

His dad rubbed his back and Phil couldn’t remember a single time they had hugged like this since he’d been a child. He made sure to account for every detail of the way his father was holding him, comforting him.

“I’m proud of you, son,” he said.

“Thank you,” Phil mumbled. He didn’t want to have any regrets. One day his father would be gone and he wouldn’t have any other time to tell him. He remembered his vow to tell the people he loved the most just how much they meant to him, but his dad had somehow been skipped. Well, not somehow. They were men, they just didn’t do this type of thing, not since Phil had turned into an adult, but Phil didn’t want to continue on like that. “I love you, Dad.”

“I love you too,” his dad said with no hesitation.

They finished cooking side by side, swaying to the music playing in the radio in amicable silence.

By half past three, the roast was ready, Martyn and Cornelia were washing up, and Dan and Phil were setting the table. In one of Phil’s trips to the kitchen, Martyn caught him by the hand and asked him to follow him out to the garden.

Phil immediately regretted not taking a moment to grab a coat, but at least Martyn didn’t seem to be doing any better. “Fuck, Mar. What is it?”

“Shh! I don’t want Mum to hear. I just wanted to check something with you.”

“Yeah, what happened?” asked Phil, feeling a bit worried already.

“So - Cornelia and I have something to announce and we were waiting to do it in person but it’s your birthday… and I don’t think we'll be coming back here for a while so I wanted to check with you.” Martyn bit his lip. “Would you mind?”

“Announcing what?” Phil asked.

Martyn looked into the house, checking that no one was snooping on them, and whispered: “We’re having a baby!”

Phil’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to let out a squeal of delight but Martyn knew him too well and covered his mouth and nose for good measure.

“Don’t!” he whispered. “I will let you go but don’t scream!”

Phil nodded and once Martyn released him, Phil grabbed him by his jumper and shook him slightly. “I am going to be an uncle?!” he whisper-shouted.

“Yeah!” Martyn laughed and nodded, looking just as excited as Phil was, maybe even a bit more.

“Alright, that has to be the best birthday present I’ve ever gotten. I am going to spoil your kid so badly, you’re going to hate me,” Phil said.

“I already hate you,” he said with a laugh and Phil punched his arm.

The sliding door opened and Dan peeked his head out. “Lester! Don’t leave me to set the table alone just because it’s your birthday.” Then he disappeared without waiting for a reply.

“He has you on a short leash,” Martyn said with an amused smile.

Phil nodded. “Yeah. Been thinking of running away…”

“Dork!” Martyn said and walked inside.

Phil followed after him, lost in thought at the notion that his brother was going to be a father. Dan gave him a weird look but Phil just shrugged and carried the Yorkshire puddings and black currant sauce to the table. Dan had already brought the meat and roasted potatoes.

His mum went around serving wine and Phil realised that she would soon notice Cornelia wasn’t drinking. “Oh, let me do that,” he said. “Dan, can you bring the Ribena from the fridge?”

“Sure,” he said with a frown but didn’t question Phil.

“You boys are not having wine?” His mum asked.

“I read that it can make you dizzy to drink before a flight when you are prone to migraines, so I’m not drinking today.”

“Oh, I’ll take Ribena as well,” said Cornelia.

“That sounds nice, actually. I feel a bit dehydrated myself so I’ll join you,” Martyn said.

Phil’s mum looked a bit upset that half of the table wouldn’t enjoy the wine she bought.

Dan returned with a pitcher of Ribena and placed it on the table. He took a seat next to Phil and eyed him suspiciously.

Phil took a moment to check his messages while his mum served the roast because he knew she didn’t like them being on their phones while they ate and he got a notification from Dan immediately.

“What are you up to?”

“What?” Phil asked, playing coy.

“What’s going on? You’re being weird.”

“I am always weird according to most people.”

Dan sneaked a hand under the table and pinched Phil’s thigh, making him jump. “Fuck!”

“Philip!” his mum chided him.

“Sorry! I think I pulled a muscle on my leg.”

“Well don’t curse and take an ibuprofen,” she said and continued serving.

Phil grabbed his phone again. “I will get you for that. Just don’t say anything, Martyn will announce it soon. He asked me not to tell.”

“Alright,” Dan typed before they were told to put their phones down.

Dinner went by smoothly, although Phil was anxious for Martyn to drop the news so that they could all talk about it. The secret was burning him from the inside. When his mum went to the kitchen to make coffee, he went along and asked if they could cut the cake already.

She was a bit shocked but accepted, so Phil got it from the fridge and set it on the table. It was all covered in candy with a small doll resembling Phil emerging from it. “Aww, that’s cute, Mum,” Phil called over his shoulder.

“I didn’t make it, I just bought it,” she replied.

Phil snorted. Once the coffee and the mugs were at the table, Dan lit the candle and led the happy birthday song for Phil.

In that moment, Phil felt frozen in time, looking around, his loved ones smiling, supporting him and his relationship with Dan, who was easily slotting into the family and he looked at Cornelia, who would soon give him the best gift he could ever get.

Dan laid his hand on Phil’s shoulder. “Make a wish!”

Phil smiled at him and leaned down closer to the cake. “I don’t need anything else,” he thought and blew the candle out. He stood up and looked at Martyn, trying to signal him to speak up.

“Corn?” Martyn said.

“We wanted to take a moment to tell you something since we are all together here - the entire family,” she said, looking at them all. “We are having a baby.” She beamed. “I am four months pregnant!”

“Oh, Martyn!” his mum said, rubbing a few stray tears away and hugged his brother briefly before pulling Cornelia into a crushing hug. “This is wonderful!”

His dad shook Martyn’s hand before thinking about it for a moment and pulling him into a hug and Phil could have sworn he saw a single tear rolling down his cheek.

Then it was Dan’s turn to congratulate them and Cornelia asked if he was excited to become an uncle which almost made Phil cry. He just walked over to his brother and gave him a big hug, then he joined Dan in hugging Cornelia who merely laughed.

It was his favourite birthday so far.

---

The following months were a bit of a haze. Dan had stopped taking new patients the previous year to allow him to continue to work with Young Minds, continue acting occasionally and posting on YouTube. He also focused on his mental health book deal, which he’d gladly accepted at a minimum fee and promptly got to work.

It took him almost six months to write and it stressed him out to no end, but he found that he enjoyed the process as well. Phil often read bits and pieces of the book, but Dan was a bit overzealous of his draft until it was completely edited.

He also had a stand-up show written and its tour was in negotiations for the second half of the year. On the other hand, Phil had started his own secret project in the works; he allocated his free time for it fully but he wasn’t going to share it with Dan until he was sure it was what he wanted and had a direct plan of action. He took advantage of the fact that Dan was working his butt off to form a very concrete proposal to buy property together. It would be a huge step for them and he knew that Dan would probably drown in the what ifs if Phil didn’t have at least some ideas of how they could afford such a project and what they would be looking for.

In May, Phil finally felt ready to broach the subject. He took his plans and sat Dan for a talk at the breakfast bar.

“What’s up?” Dan asked, looking nervous and quite pale.

“Everything is alright. I just wanted to ask you something,” Phil said, placing a cup of tea in front of Dan. He opened his mouth to speak but found no words. He let out a little frustrated sigh. “Well… I’m buying a house.”

“Oh?” Dan frowned.

Phil raised his eyebrows at his own stupidity. “For us. For both of us to live together there.”

Dan visibly relaxed. “Oh, ok,” he said with a little laugh.

“Yeah, the thing is… I want to completely remodel it, but I want you to see it and tell me if you like it, if you like the area and to help me design it.”

“Oh, wow,” Dan said, pausing. “I love the idea but, how much money are we talking about?”

Phil had considered paying for it himself, but he knew better than offering something like that to Dan, he would never accept it. “Here,” he said, getting the folder from one of the small drawers in the kitchen.

“You were hiding this in the kitchen?” Dan asked with an amused smile.

Phil shrugged. “Why would you even be looking in there? How often do you cook, Danny boy?”

“Fair,” Dan mumbled, skimming through the pages of the three financial options Phil had presented to him. “I like the 50-50 one if I can just transfer the money to you every month.”

“That was my favourite one too. Now look at the pictures,” Phil said, turning a few pages. Each picture came with handwritten notes of his plan and questions for Dan.

Dan’s face transformed, his smile growing as he turned each page. “It’s gorgeous. Ohhh, the garden, Phil!” Dan said in wonder. “The inside is very old-fashioned but I like the bare bones. Can we afford to remodel it? I think that it could be a bit much.”

“We have the merch store, ad revenue, sponsors, you have your book, we have savings. I know that construction can get out of hand but it will probably take at least a year to complete it so I think we can manage it,” Phil said and braced himself. “All you need to agree to is to let me pay rent completely, at least until your earnings are more similar to mine.”

Dan pursed his lips. Phil could tell that he didn’t like the idea at all but he was in no position to argue. He was still catching up on his metrics. “Alright, but I will pay it back.”

“Don’t,” Phil said. “Put it aside for a trip to Japan. We’ve always wanted to go.”

“I like the sound of that,” Dan said. “Thank you, love.” He leaned in and pressed three quick kisses to Phil’s lips. “I love you!”

“Love you too,” Phil said, letting out a small sigh and taking the first sip of his tepid tea.

---

June 2019

Dan was a bit scared of how the so-called phannies would react to his stand-up so he did a few pre-shows - with unrelated material of course - at a small pub and it went amazingly well. They loved his style and the crude jokes. As it turned out, their viewers had grown with them and made it fairly evident that there had always been people of their own age and even older watching their content. As Dan had simply put it: “They’re old.”

Phil had known that most of their viewers were queer for quite a while but seeing the army of -mostly- lesbians at Dan’s small shows was a delight. It was a freeing experience for both of them. Dan got to make as many gay sex jokes as he wanted and people often matched his energy which made him incredibly happy and Phil got to see Dan be himself fully, be confident in his own identity and sexuality which also turned into a bit of a surprising self-discovery journey.

Phil had thought that he had been confident in his own skin for years and years but being semi-closeted in aspects of your life plays a weird game on your mind. The little offhand comments you’d get, or having to lie by omission to some weird intrusive questions, having to come up with made-up stories in interviews, it was all very tiring. Phil found that he also loved to make crude jokes in public, perhaps not as much in his videos but in his everyday life. It was just something that brought him a lot of joy.

It was a relief to be so secure in their relationship that when Dan joked about people sliding into his DMs and living his hot boy summer, Phil didn’t feel jealous at all. He knew that Dan was loyal to him and that what they had was a priority for both of them.

Before things got too busy and with the excuse of Dan’s birthday, they took a weekend trip to visit his family.

Phil stood before the same door he’d stood almost a decade prior and smiled at the bittersweet memories it brought. He knew that this time things would be different. With Dan’s homophobic father long gone from the family home, they weren’t as worried about things going awry, so his mind turned to the first few months after they met in person, when everything had changed. Sharing Dan’s bed, flirting, playing hours upon hours of video games and filming. Phil let out a sigh as he remembered Dan looking at him, the golden specks in his warm brown eyes dancing in the sunlight as he laughed, his hobbit hair wild and free.

“Ready?” Dan asked, pulling him from his musings.

Phil simply smiled at him and nodded, but before he could ring the doorbell, Karen opened the door, welcoming them and wrapping them into a tight hug each.

“Oh, Phil! It’s so good to see you again after so long! I’ve been asking Dan to bring you over forever,” she said.

“Thank you so much!” Phil said with a huge smile. A side eye Dan’s way revealed that he had been, in fact, asked to bring Phil over, if his beat red face and neck scratching was any indication. “He keeps me hidden, what can I say?”

She laughed and swatted Dan’s arm.

“I don’t!” Dan said. “We’ve just been busy, Mum.”

“Of course you have.” Karen rolled her eyes at her son and ushered them inside.

She pointed Phil towards one of the armchairs and Dan to the closest spot to him on the bigger sofa, choosing the other end of it for herself. As soon as Phil had taken his place, he felt two soft paws scratching at his legs. “Awww, Hi Colin! Nice to meet you!” Phil said as he helped the pup climb onto his lap. He gave Colin a kiss and turned his attention back to Dan’s mum. “How have you been?” he finally asked.

“Oh, you know how it is,” she said. “Teaching is very difficult with this newer generation, they are quite unruly, but I still love my job. How are you guys? Any new projects?”

Dan reached his hand to pet Colin absentmindedly but kept his eyes on his mum. “My book is out already and it did very well. People are saying they enjoyed it and that it helped them manage their mental health a bit better, so I’m happy about that. The tour is about to start, I brought you tickets, as you requested,” he said, fishing them out of his pocket and handing them over to her. “You can go with Nana and Popsie; Adrian wants to go on a different date.”

“Your brother is such a loose cannonball sometimes,” she shook her head but smiled. “Will your parents be there, Phil?” Karen asked although it didn’t really sound like a question. Phil realised that this was not Dan’s mother talking to him, it was his “Mother in Law” letting him know that she expected him to make it work so that both families could finally meet after so many years. There were expectations.

Phil blinked but he didn’t let his smile falter. He was a bit nervous, but he had, gladly, made the arrangements to save everyone the pain of flying over another time. It was not quite a middle ground but it was the best option.“Yes, of course. They love Dan and they’re very excited to see the show. All of our friends are going on different dates as well.” He kept petting Colin, who was trying to take a nap on his lap but kept opening his eyes every time Dan or Phil touched him.

“Did you warn Nana that it’s rude?” Dan asked, picking at the fabric of the sofa cushion.

“Yes, but she has been watching your videos, so she knows what to expect,” Karen said. “You should have her on your channel, I think she would like that very much.”

Dan sputtered. “I don’t know about that.”

“Aw, that would be so cute!” Phil said. “Also the viewers loved her comment about the Ipad and the old home videos where she tried to scare you. I think she’d be a hit.”

Karen nodded. “See? Phil agrees with me!”

“He’s just sucking up to you,” Dan said.

Phil laughed. “I would never!”

“Don’t be like that, Phil is very sweet and polite!” Karen said, patting Phil’s knee.

Phil stuck his tongue out to Dan.

The doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of Dan’s grandparents and causing both Dan and Phil to stand and Colin to jump from his lap, throwing a reproachful look over his shoulder as he marched towards Dan.

“Hellooo,” Dan said, picking him up and going up to greet his grandparents.

Phil stood by his armchair and awkwardly waited for everyone to join him to shake Nana’s and Popsie’s hands as they sat on the big sofa with Karen, relegating Dan -and Colin- to the armchair across the room. Seeing Dan’s pout at being so far away from him made Phil regret not joining him on the big sofa when he got the chance.

Dan’s grandparents were extremely polite but a bit aloof at first. Dan had mentioned that they were open to the idea of him being gay but they hadn’t been in contact with any gay people per se, so they would have to try to act naturally to give them an idea of what they could expect. Basically, Dan had asked Phil to be himself and treat him as if they were alone at home, with as much pda or as little as he felt like doing.

“Phil, it is so nice to see you,” Dan’s grandma said, folding her hands on her lap.

Phil smiled. “Thank you,” he said and nodded at Popsie. “Nice to see you both again. I hope you remember me.”

“I do,” Dan’s grandma said, looking at Dan out of the corner of her eye. “Daniel couldn’t quite stop talking about you all the time so by the time I met you, I felt like I already knew you. That made it hard to forget you.”

Phil didn’t know what to say to that, so he smiled. It was a little bit funny, picturing Dan with his massive crush, going on and on about Phil.

“Nana, don’t make me sound so lame,” Dan said a bit too loudly, causing Colin to lift his head and huff. Dan looked at him apologetically and ruffled his fur.

“I am only telling the truth, if that makes you sound ‘lame’ as you put it…” she trailed off.

Phil burst out laughing and suddenly felt at ease with her. “You are delightful.”

“I’m going to be bullied the entire day, aren’t I?” Dan asked, pouting and flipping Colin’s ear inside out.

Popsie smiled at him and nodded before focusing on Phil. “So, what are your plans for the future?” he asked.

“For the future?” Phil asked, unsure of what to say, so he started speaking about work as per usual. “I have a lot of videos in the work, sponsors, my brother runs our merch company as well, but I do need to look things over. We are quite busy at the moment, especially with Dan going away on tour for a few months.” He looked at Dan across the room for any indication on how good of a reply that was but Dan merely shrugged.

“Well, that’s wonderful, but… we’ve been wondering if you two are going to get married, adopt children? I’m not sure how it’s done nowadays,” Popsie said with a small smile.

Dan sank further into his armchair, trying to make himself small and turned to talk to his mum, who completely ignored him in favour of listening to Phil’s answer.

Phil’s eyes widened, but he thought each and every single one of his movements carefully. He took account of how he was sitting, his posture, and his hands. He sat as a perfectly respectable human instead of a pile of goo; he squared his shoulders, laced his fingers on his lap and leaned forward trying to exude confidence. “Well, we haven’t discussed marriage quite yet, but we are buying property together this year.”

“You are?” Karen asked, beaming and looking between Dan and Phil.

Dan nodded but let Phil do the talking.

“Yes, it was my idea,” Phil said. “As you may know, Dan and I have quite a bit of history and it took us some time to repair our friendship and build a strong and loving relationship, so we are taking things slow to make sure that we are doing things the right way.”

“That is good! It’s important to take the time to consider things and not just jump into a wedding,” Karen said, looking pointedly at her mother. “A house sounds wonderful. May I ask if it will be under both of your names?”

Phil nodded. “Yes. We have already decided how we will split the cost, and since we are going to remodel it before moving in, it will probably be a long process.”

“Where are you buying?” Popsie asked, giving him what Phil assumed was an approving look.

“Kensington,” Phil said. “It’s a three-story house with a huge back garden.” He pulled his phone out and showed them a few pictures.

“It looks like a good place for a family,” Dan’s grandma said.

“Please, no mention of children,” Dan whined, pulling Colin to lay on his chest and wrapping his arms around him.

“Don’t you want children, Daniel?” she asked.

“Not right now,” Dan said with a frown. “We have a lot of work ahead. If it happens it will happen.”

“But how?” Popsie asked, cocking his head. “I don’t mean to be rude, of course, but I don’t understand.”

Phil saw a mix of embarrassment and anger forming in Dan’s face, but he could see that Popsie was just trying to understand, so he took over the conversation. “Well, neither of us will be getting pregnant,” he laughed. “But gay couples have different options, or rather, we have the same options as most couples dealing with infertility, like adoption, or getting eggs from a donor and paying a surrogate to carry the child, or simply to remain child-free. Like I said, at the moment we are focusing on ourselves and our relationship, anything else will come in the future, when we have the proper time and money to make it happen.” Phil ventured a look at Dan and found nothing but gratitude and love in his eyes.

“Yes,” Dan said, the smile slowly returning to his face. “I may be just a little selfish here, but I don’t want to share Phil with anyone at the moment, and if we decided to have children, a wedding would probably happen first. For now, we have our house to focus on and our projects.”

Karen smiled and patted Dan’s hand. “It sounds like you have a wonderful life together.”

“We do,” Dan said, his smile widening. “And I am very happy.”

“That’s all that matters then,” Dan’s grandma said and clapped her hands once. “Congratulations to you both.”

Popsie smiled and nodded. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile this much, Daniel. It is a relief to still be alive to see you so happy.”

“Well, don’t take it as a sign to die,” Dan said, letting out an awkward laugh. “That would not make me very happy.”

“It’s not my time yet,” Popsie chuckled.

The doorbell rang once again and Karen walked over to the window, pulling the curtains back. “Looks like the pizza is here!” she said, giving Phil an apologetic look before walking over to the door.

“Karen! Pizza? While having company over? Why didn’t you cook something?” Dan’s grandma said, getting up and walking after her daughter.

“I’m not a great cook and I didn’t want to stress about it,” Karen said.

“But I am, I could have made something!”

Karen waved her off. “It’s fine and Phil loves pizza, don’t you Phil?”

“I do!” Phil added and finally remembered that as a guest he should probably offer to carry the pizzas. “I can take that to the kitchen,” he said.

“You are such a darling, Phil. Always so polite!” Karen said, handing him the boxes.

Out of the corner of his eye, Phil saw Popsie sliding closer to Dan and whispering something as he placed a hand on his shoulder and watched Dan rub his cheek quickly to wipe a few tears as he nodded and smiled.

Phil let out a sigh of relief. Everything was finally falling into place. Both families had accepted them with love and respect for them and the relationship they shared. It was all they had ever wanted.

---

October 2019

October brought many milestones. They celebrated their first anniversary as an official couple and the 10th anniversary of the day they first met.

The celebration itself was more of an improvised dinner date at their new home, in which construction had just started, sitting on a blanket, basically having a picnic and wine. Maybe it would not be considered the most romantic set up by the majority of people, but to them it was. It symbolised so many achievements and the hard work that they had put on themselves, their friendship and their relationship, as well as being their first property. In a way, it was the most romantic celebration they could have put together. There were no aesthetic decorations, fancy restaurants or public displays, it was just them - together, sharing a moment.

Dan grabbed a slice of pizza and moaned dramatically as he bit into it.

Phil laughed at his antics. God, he loved how Dan made him laugh with the simplest gestures. He loved Dan, his curly hair, his warm brown eyes, that low voice he used when it was just the two of them. He loved Dan dressed to the nines or only in his joggers and a stained T-shirt, his eyes falling shut from how tired he was. He loved Dan naked too, when it was just him, no decoration, no masks, just Dan. He loved Dan so much that he sometimes felt his heart would burst out of his chest at any moment.

“What?” Dan asked mid chew.

Phil snorted. “You have stubble now,” he said, cupping Dan’s cheek and rubbing his thumb on his chin.

“I’ll get it tomorrow,” Dan said.

“Don’t,” Phil smiled. “I like it.”

“I thought you said it was too rough on your skin,” Dan said.

“Maybe I like it rough,” Phil said with an awkward wink.

Dan laughed and threw a piece of crust his way.

“Hey, be nice!” Phil said.

“I’m always nice,” Dan said, pointing at his bruised forehead. “Today I slammed my head into the cabinets again and I didn’t even yell at you about it.”

“Is that why you were cursing this morning?”

“Yes, but I let you have a lie in instead of going to you to complain.”

“You could have joined me,” Phil said, grabbing a slice of pizza and taking a bite.

“I wanted to clean so that you don’t have to keep up with everything while I’m gone,” Dan said, his smile dropping a bit.

“That’s actually very sweet of you,” Phil said.

Dan pretended to retch. “Shut up,” he said, very fondly. It was the first time that they would be apart for an extended period of time since they got back together. Phil could hardly remember what life without Dan was like, but it was necessary. He would support every single solo project Dan had, and help him spread his wings, in the same way Dan supported him.

This was the time for Dan to spend some time with his followers without Phil’s presence, except in the occasional show.

“I’m going to miss you and go a bit crazy,” Phil admitted.

“You can always come to visit me on the road.”

“Maybe I will,” Phil said and leaned in to press a quick kiss to Dan’s lips.

“Please do,” Dan said, sounding a little smaller, perhaps like a lost child.

“Aww,” said Phil and gave him a quick succession of kisses on the lips. Three for good luck. “You will do amazingly, they will love you.”

“What if I fuck up on stage?” Dan frowned.

“Then they will laugh with you, which is the point of the show,” Phil said. “You know what to do already, just be yourself.”

“Sometimes I panic and consider cancelling.”

Phil nodded. “I know, I can see it in your eyes from time to time, but I also know that you were made to do this. You have to go out there and make little theatre kid Dan proud.”

“I know, but I could also just go live in the woods,” Dan said, only half joking.

“You are afraid of trees, and the show starts next week. It’s too late to back out now,” Phil laughed, patting his leg.

Dan snorted a laugh. “Yeah,” he said, shifting slightly and laying back onto Phil’s lap. “I love you, you know?” he asked, looking up at Phil.

“Yeah, I know,” Phil said, running his fingers through Dan’s curls. “I love you too.”

“Enough to keep my plants alive while I am away?” Dan smirked.

“I can’t promise that,” Phil laughed. “But I can promise that the house will still be standing when you come back - probably.”

Dan laughed, his eyes crinkling with happiness. “Probably.”

---

Dan’s stand-up show “We’re all doomed” opened to a full theatre of fans who had shown up to support him. Their excitement permeated the air and got into Phil. He was there to see his favourite person perform.

Phil danced in his seat while the pre show playlist boomed through the speakers. His smile widened when Dan came onto the stage. He felt a hand resting on his own, turned to his side and looked into his mother’s eyes, her smile matching his.

His heart sang as he watched Dan perform, giving it his all, working the stage and feeding off the audience’s energy.

He loved the show, he really did, but watching both of their families laugh along with Dan’s jokes and look at him proudly had to be one of Phil’s favourite memories from that night.

As the show came to a close, Dan came on stage one last time to thank the audience and looked up to the gallery where his people were. He made direct eye contact with Phil and placed his hand on his heart, smiling widely and mouthing a silent “I love you,” and Phil wanted to keep that image engraved in his mind forever.

It had taken such a long time to get to this point, but they were finally where they wanted to be, together, and even though Phil didn’t forget everything that had happened, all the heartache, all the hardships, he didn’t doubt for a second that it had all been worth it. God, he loved Dan so much, and he was going to spend the rest of his life making him happy - just as happy as Dan made him.

#succubusphan fics #phanfic #phanfiction #phan #phan au #dan and phil #ospbb 2023

5 notes · View notes

succubusphan · 9 months

Text

Two Man Team - Chapter 11

Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.

Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.

Rating: E

Author's Note: Written for the OSPBB 2023 @oldschoolpbb. Thank you @effingmeteors for being my life saviour and beta as usual and to my artist Lin @anironsidh.

Edits and the art will be added at some point, we are busy bees.

POSTING EVERY DAY UNTIL IT'S COMPLETED.

Total Word Count: 75k ish

Read on Ao3

CHAPTER 11: Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien

Phil hesitated, not knowing how Dan would react to the news. Actually, he was fairly certain that Dan would have a breakdown and bolt out the door. Phil’s breathing got away from him and he started panicking.

“It’s alright. Look at me,” Dan said, holding his hands gently. “Look at me, I’m here, you’re safe. Everything will be ok.”

Phil tried to match Dan’s breathing, but it took him a few minutes to finally be able to take a deep breath and release it slowly.

“Better?” Dan asked.

Phil nodded but pressed his forehead to Dan’s still trying to breathe normally. He wanted to cry. He couldn’t lose Dan again.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Dan tried.

Phil shook his head no, but Dan pulled away and cupped his cheeks, looking into his eyes with worry.

The tears finally rolled down Phil’s cheeks and Dan looked horrified. He pulled Phil into a tight hug and rubbed circles on his back. “Please, please, tell me what’s wrong. Is your family alright?”

Phil nodded but still didn’t let Dan go. “S-sorry,” he said, for making Dan worry.

“It’s ok.”

“Please don’t leave,” Phil said, letting out a small sob and feeling pathetic about it - and about the begging.

Dan let go and looked at him in confusion. “I won’t leave, I promise!”

Still, Phil continued to cry but had the good grace of finally giving Dan his phone. He searched in Dan’s face for any signs of anger, regret or panic but Dan was just dumbfounded, his eyebrows raised.

“I shouldn’t have gone, I’m so sorry!” Phil mumbled shakily.

Dan looked up from the phone and into his eyes before staring into space for a few minutes. Perhaps it was only a few seconds but to Phil it felt like minutes.

Phil wanted to shake him but instead, he grabbed fists full of his York hoodie and pulled gently as if Dan was going to slip away at any given moment.

“Sorry,” Dan said, blinking repeatedly. “I just - I’m surprised they even remember me.”

“Of course they do, they have been asking about you for years. They still do!” Phil said with perhaps a bit of bitterness in his voice as he released the fabric.

Dan frowned sadly, lowering his head. He reached for his own phone and logged into Twitter quickly. “Can’t see it here,” he said, but before Phil could suggest anything, Dan slapped his forehead. “Right, I muted anything related to the ship.” He went into settings and deleted quite a few words to be able to read the tweet and responses. He took a deep breath, bracing himself, and let it out slowly as he began to read. “Fuck, this is why I thought they had forgotten me. I had hoped, but -”

The longer Dan stayed quiet, the more nervous Phil got, until he noticed his expression beginning to change.

In fact, the further Dan read, the bigger the smile on his face got. “It’s so hard to believe that they still care,” he said in wonder before liking one of the responses he’d been tagged in that read “Collab when?” He bit his lip and hesitated. “Should I reply?”

“If you want,” Phil said, with a small smile of his own as he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand.

“SOON!” Dan replied and all hell broke loose, but it was not a bad thing. Dan seemed to be taking it well.

“When can we see those theatre acting skills on YouTube? You should be in Phil’s skits!” someone suggested and Dan read it to him.

Phil thought that was a wonderful idea, so he liked the tweet and looked at him expectantly.

“Do you really want me to be on your channel again?” Dan asked, his tone soft, almost in awe.

Phil nodded and tried to downplay the importance of a potential Dan feature on his channel or a collab. “If you dare, dani snot-”

“Oh, fuck off!” Dan said, throwing a cushion in his direction.

“Fiyaaaa!” Phil screeched. He was so fucking relieved.

“I’d love to. I’ll do anything you want.”

“Anything?” Phil smirked.

“Don’t do that,” Dan warned him. “You wanted to go slow.”

“I do! I do! Sorry,” Phil said with a laugh. Pausing, he looked into Dan’s eyes intently. “Are you alright?” he asked, even though what he really wanted to say was ‘Are we alright?’

“Yeah,” Dan replied softly. “I think I am. I am surprised, but I am not panicking at the moment.”

He pressed a quick kiss to Phil’s lips and when he rested his back against the sofa once again, his lips moved for a few seconds, mouthing something silently. Dan bit his lip but swallowed nervously and asked: “Can you watch something?” he paused. “I was thinking… I should post something before my coming out. I don’t want it to be so sudden, it wouldn’t feel right. I have a few ideas, things I want to talk about.”

“Of course!” Phil said and brought his laptop over.

Dan logged into his accounts and showed him the first few scenes of ‘Daniel and depression’.

“I love it! What do you think about adding some skits? We could totally do that.”

“I’d like that.” Dan smiled and let out a little sigh of relief. He also showed Phil his set design for BIG, the codename of his June video.

“It’s beautiful,” Phil said. “But you should probably drop hints about the topic of the video beforehand, I don’t want to get sued for the death toll.”

“Hmm, maybe they deserve it,” Dan said, only half joking. “Alright. I think I know what to do.” He opened his notes up and started writing a script.

“Another video?” Phil said, raising his eyebrows at Dan.

“I’m on a roll, don’t judge,” Dan said and typed the words ‘Trying to live my truth.’

“I would never!” Phil laughed and rubbed Dan’s back reassuringly.

---

Phil gave the new YouTube feature a shot. His contact had basically told him that there could be good money in for him if he posted shorts consistently but Phil was honestly a bit burnt out and he was emotionally consumed by Dan. It was stupid, he knew, to let Dan back into his life and make everything about him so fast, but he couldn’t help it. At least it seemed that Dan was also focusing on him for the most part, that and work.

He sat in front of the blank wall that served as his new filming space, checking the lighting, that all of his trinkets were in order and that the brown bits of his plant were facing away from the camera. The doorbell rang just as he was reaching for the record button and he sighed in frustration until he realised that it was probably Dan.

A big goofy smile made its way into Phil’s lips when he looked through the cameras and buzzed Dan in. He leaned against the door, waiting for Dan to let him know he had made it up. He felt so many butterflies in his stomach, it was stupid, but he didn’t care.

There was a soft knock on the door and Phil pulled the door open, happy to see his smile reflected in Dan’s face.

“What were you up to?” Dan asked, inviting himself in and taking off his shoes.

“Just about to film some shorts,” Phil said dismissively. “It’s a bit boring, but I was promised some money for it, and who knows, maybe they will push my channel a bit more. They didn’t say that, but a guy can hope.”

Dan nodded. “Do you need help?”

“Yeah, I could use some company so I don’t fall asleep in front of the camera or something. Sit on the floor by the camera like you used to?”

“Sure. Always loved being your assistant.” Dan walked over to the “set” and waited for Phil to be ready. When he got the go-ahead, he hit record.

“Hey guys, did you know that my fmalee, female,” he laughed. “Family!”

“Great job, Phil!” Dan laughed but didn’t stop the recording.

“Be quiet, assistant!” Phil joked and completely forgot whatever silly story he was going to tell. He thought about it for a moment and decided that they should work on Dan’s projects rather than his very small ones. “Why don’t we do yours? I have skit ideas for the first video and I thought of some nice shots for the depression one as well.”

“Really? Don’t you need to do these first?”

“Nah, I can do them later. I just want you to lay down so I can throw food at you.”

“I don’t know how to feel about that,” Dan snorted.

“I was thinking popcorn. That’s for the part when you talk about not wanting to eat. And we can also do a bit where I call you to watch the finale of Game of Thrones and you don’t want to.”

“I wish I could go back in time and not watch that, and that’s not the depression talking.”

“Maybe you have the sight in this bit and that’s why you don’t want to get up,” Phil said.

“That will be the real story behind the skit in my heart forever.” Dan laughed. “Alright, I like that. What was the shot you wanted for DAD?”

“Dad?” Phil asked, almost choking in his own spit at the thought of Dan calling him that.

“No, D.A.D. Daniel and Depression.”

“Oh, right. You could be in bed with your eyes closed and open them to stare at the camera with empty, soulless eyes.”

“So my normal eyes. Got it. You would have to come by to film me in my bed.”

“I was thinking that you could use my bed.”

“The AmazingPhil room? Dan’s eyes widened. “Wouldn’t people be able to tell?”

“No, the bigger one I actually sleep in now. I only showed that room once and didn’t really point the camera at the bed, but we can go to your flat if you want.”

“If you think it will work well for the shot, we can do it here,” Dan said. “Do you have any decent non-green sheets?”

“Lol, shut up, rat. I’ll have you know I use manly blue and grey sheets now.”

“Ooh! So manly!” Dan laughed.

“Very!” Phil laughed. “So, where do you want to lay like a dying slug first, the bed or the sofa?”

“Hmmm, the sofa?”

“Great. Go to my closet and get some joggers or something comfy while I make the popcorn, don’t worry about it, you will have a blanket on you,” Phil said.

Dan gave him an amused smile and trotted along to the bedroom. Five minutes later he was back in grey joggers and a basic white T-shirt.

Phil had to curse himself for suggesting grey joggers, they really brought the best out in Dan, so he tried to keep his eyes above the belly button and focus on filming. Once Dan had lay down, Phil threw a blanket on him and did a few shots throwing popcorn on his face while Dan remained motionless. They had to alternate with the ones where he was called and just rolled over or buried himself under the blanket because Dan kept eating the popcorn and Phil had to keep making more.

Once they confirmed that they had what they needed, they went straight to the bed and stripped it bare, choosing different bedding for the take. A moody charcoal grey set was perfect for it and it matched Dan’s colours. If Phil angled it right, nobody would be able to tell it was his bed.

Dan decided to take his top off before getting into bed to be more accurate and Phil tried very hard not to stare, checking the exposure on the camera for a bit. When Dan told him that he was ready, it was time for Phil to basically walk over him and film him from above. It took them a few tries and Phil almost fell on Dan and probably cracked his ribs, but they got it. Dan seemed to really like the idea and promised to use it.

“Ok, so that’s what I had planned,” Phil finally said.

“Wait, I have a few ideas to add. Do you have cereal and yoghurt? Like the thick Greek kind?”

“Yeah…” Phil answered.

“Ok, and birthday decorations?”

“That’s pushing it a bit but I have like a few party hats and candles.”

“Great, let’s do this,” Dan said. “By the way. I just saw a hilarious clip of you messing up on that gas leak video in your sd card. You should post it to shorts.”

Phil considered it briefly; that would save him a lot of work. “I have quite a few bloopers. It could be a lessamazingphil video.”

“Definitely.”

---

May 2017

As June got closer and closer without an end in sight for the BIG project, Phil suggested that Dan focus on his other videos, the ones that would serve as an introduction for his magnum opus.

Dan was still very complicated about what month each video could be posted on, so his coming out was reserved for June of 2018. It was not an easy decision. He’d expressed how he feared giving himself more time to work on it would result in him freaking out about it and having to scrap the entire project, but Phil reminded him that he would be there to support him and that each person had their own time. There was no need to rush.

And so it began.

This obviously meant that Phil had to push his own coming out video to the following year, which made Dan feel very guilty, but Phil told him that it wasn’t a big deal to him, it hadn’t been for years since he was not in the closet exactly, not to those close to him at least.

Dan continued to support Phil on his projects as he stressed on his own and even helped him move out of his iconic flat into one that would have less of a stalker problem and that would allow him to have a better work/life balance. They even snapped a few pictures but Phil decided to keep them to themselves. It was then that Phil finally felt confident enough to evict his fringe and change it into a quiff, which got him a lot of praise from the viewers, but most importantly, from Dan.

During the rest of the year, as Dan began to post videos and dared to be more vulnerable with his audience, the views and subscribers started to grow and grow fast. Dan was a bit nervous at first but also excited to be able to share his personal growth and use his platform to help people as much as possible. He knew how much representation mattered because he saw none growing up. He wanted to be there for people, discussing serious topics in his classic style, full of dark humour but toning the self-deprecation down.

A part of this new era on Dan’s career included a very necessary rebranding, finally letting go of his danisnotonfire persona and being Daniel Howell, the person. Letting people see the real him and being loved for it did wonders for Dan’s self-esteem and helped him get even closer to Phil since his insecurities had been a big part of their problems in the past.

Dan posted a string of related videos and the mini (unofficial) series was a success. It was a trifecta; the perfect storm. The first one was about his self-discovery journey and him trying to learn what he wanted to do with life, the second one was about his depression and mental health in general and in June of 2018 came the big finale of the series: Basically I’m Gay.

June 2018

On the day BIG was set to be posted, Phil declined Dan’s invitation to watch it together. Not that he hadn’t watched parts of it before, but he knew how heavy the script was, and Dan hadn’t wanted to show him the full video before posting, so this would be the first time he would hear some parts of Dan’s story and he knew it would break his heart into a million pieces and potentially make him cry like a child.

As soon as he saw the tweet, he clicked on the link, his hands shaking, and hit play, letting Dan’s voice captivate him and let him into his mind. Dan looked so confident and beautiful with his black sequin jacket and the rainbow lighting switching during the entire video like a soft gay halo. Things started somewhat sad but as the story progressed into Dan’s teen years, Phil knew it was only going to get worse. He let out a choked sob when Dan spoke about that night so many years ago, when Phil had missed his calls, the time Dan had almost -

He didn’t want to think about a world without Dan. He had imagined that was what Dan had hinted at at the time, but a part of him hadn’t wanted to believe it; especially because Dan had tried to reach out and Phil had been out getting drunk and almost lost him entirely.

He felt incredibly guilty, but at the same time, he knew that he shouldn’t focus on that and make the video about himself. Instead, he clicked back a bit and really paid attention to what Dan had to say, to understand more of his pain and be able to support him.

The end of the video gave Phil a great inkling of where Dan’s journey was at the moment and what he wanted and needed to do. He would try his best to make that happen for him. He shot Mark a quick text asking him for tickets to Noah’s drag show and scrolled down to see the interactions.

Phil could only hope that the comments under the video specifically would be good and supportive; if this video tanked or got a bunch of negative comments, it could hurt Dan’s healing on the topic and probably ruin their new friendship - relationship? They still hadn’t addressed that and it was probably still too soon to do so.

Thankfully, the response was overwhelmingly positive and Dan was even featured on YouTube’s front page. The video was in every recommended box and other youtubers, past and present, supported him and listened to his story carefully.

Shortly after Dan started replying to people, Phil wrote very carefully a tweet of his own, mentioning how proud he was of Dan and letting the viewers know that he may have a video coming as well.

Opening Twitter was something else. He was so glad he hadn't seen the video before and was a part of everyone's experience now. There were tears and excitement and more gifs than you could count about having Dan back and getting to know him all over again and the person he was now. ‘Dan Howell’, ‘Phil’ and ‘Dan and Phil’ were trending worldwide. Yes, Dan and Phil were still Dan and Phil but they were also two separate entities with different goals and approaches to things. And people seemed to be aware of it already.

He was so proud of Dan and so proud of the little goblins that enjoyed their videos for trying to avoid hurting Dan’s feelings or being offensive. It hadn’t always been like that in the past, but it now seemed that the viewers had grown quite a bit as people as well; or perhaps the bad ones had gotten bored and left, it was hard to tell.

Phil grabbed his phone again to send Dan a text but before he could send it, his doorbell rang. Not his actual external doorbell, but the one right outside his flat. His heart crawled up to his throat as he walked to the door and looked out the peephole but it was entirely pitch black.

“Boo!” Dan said, almost killing him of a heart attack. He stepped away from the door snickering.

Phil opened the door and swatted at his arms before dragging him inside by his shirt. “Idiot. How did you even get up here?”

“A pretty girl asked me who I was looking for and I said you so she let me in. She was flirty,” Dan said with a smirk.

Frowning, Phil thought who the skank would be… “Blonde, fried ends with lips too big for her face?”

“I guess,” Dan shrugged.

“I guess she’s pretty, if you’re into that.”

“Awww, don’t be like that. She let me in to see you. Don’t be jealous.”

“What if you were a killer?” Phil asked, poking Dan’s chest with his finger.

“I don’t think I look like a killer,” Dan laughed.

“Exactly, so you would get away with it easier,” Phil said. “I have a spare key, you can have it.” He hadn’t really thought about it until then, but that was actually a big step. Dan had never had a key to his place. Was it the right time? He paused until he saw Dan’s smile widened and his hand extending, expecting the key to be placed on it. He grabbed it from the console table and gave it to Dan.

“Thank you,” Dan said. “That would be very helpful. And if someone kills you, I can find your body first.”

Phil narrowed his eyes at him. “Don’t get any ideas,” he said in mock offence and walked down the hallway, plopping himself down onto the grey sofa.

“This sofa needs a good crease to be more ergonomic,” Dan commented, as he sat down and shuffled in place to get more comfortable.

“You’ll have to come by more often and create it yourself.”

Dan opened his mouth to answer but saw Phil’s laptop open on the coffee table, still on his video. He looked at Phil expectantly. “Well?”

“It was amazing. It’s my favourite video that you’ve ever made. Very raw and honest, sad at times and very funny.”

“Thank you,” Dan said. “Your tone changed, you were chirpier. Did the mention of our story bother you or…”

“No!” Phil said, sitting upright, his hands picking at the fluff balls on his pyjama pants. “Of course not, and you had shown me that part anyway.” He paused, considering his next words very carefully. “It just brought me back to that week when you wouldn’t answer my messages or calls after I went out and missed yours. I remembered the panic and the worry, and then when you half told me what had happened and I tried to make myself believe that it was not what you meant because I didn’t want to think about losing you. It was a scary week.” He cleared his throat to avoid getting choked up and tried to blink his unshed tears away.

“I’m sorry to have worried you like that.” Dan reached his hand towards Phil and Phil immediately took it. “I’m glad that my grandma was there for me and gave me a place to stay while I recovered from that ordeal,” he said. “I’m glad that I’m here now, with you. I couldn’t have done it without you, even back then when we were just internet friends. Most days talking to you was all I could look forward to. You were the only positive influence in my life.”

Phil didn’t know what to say, so he just pulled Dan into a hug and rubbed his back. “I’m so glad that you’re here,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Dan said, returning the hug. “And thank you for giving me a second chance. No matter what, you will always be my best friend.”

“That’s true. No matter what,” Phil said and pressed a small kiss to Dan’s cheek, feeling him smile and seeing his little dimple make an appearance.

---

That Saturday, Dan came over to get his outfit checked before they headed to the drag show. He was nervous as that would be his first outing to a gay establishment after his official coming out.

Phil had no idea why Dan wanted his approval. His fashion sense was immaculate and he had worked hard on curating a very nice closet. In short, Dan looked fucking hot, stunning, divine, and Phil tried very hard not to say that, and just give him an appropriate amount of praise. On the other hand, Phil suspected that what was making Dan so nervous was meeting Mark again after what went down between them and the fact that Mark had it out for him. On that aspect, Phil didn’t know if Dan was terrified of being judged or just outright jealous of Mark. It was no accident that after over a year from the day Dan and Phil hit reset on their friendship, Dan and Mark had not shared space at all.

“Maybe I should change, I have another shirt in my backpack. I just need to iron it,” Dan said and reached for his bag.

Phil pulled him by the shirt and gave him a slow kiss, effectively shutting him up. “What’s going on in here?” he asked, tapping on Dan’s forehead.

“What do you mean?” Dan asked, playing coy.

Phil just raised his eyebrows at him. “Why are you so nervous?”

“I haven’t seen Mark in years, the last time he saw me I looked stupid, he hates me and he’s really hot and his partner too. Also, they are out and have been since like 2008 or something and I’m just here, I feel like I’m on my gay training wheels.”

Phil rubbed his arms gently. “I know why you say that, but you have come out to some people before, right? You had a boyfriend.”

Dan looked down in shame. “I never introduced him to anyone because I was too scared. We just hung out with his friends but I never actually took him anywhere.”

The silence that hung between them made Dan finally look back at him.

Phil must have given him a shocked look because Dan’s face fell immediately, his expression was very defensive.

“I wasn’t ready to be out,” Dan said, trying to justify his actions. “I know it was bad to get him into that situation, that’s why I apologised so much to him. He was right to break up with me.”

“I mean… It is a very complex situation but he did agree to date you under those circumstances,” Phil said, carefully considering the matter and wondering if he would have accepted those terms himself. “You did things in your own timeline and nobody can fault you, at least for that part of the story.”

“He said that I was a disaster and he doubted my ability to help LGBTQ+ people as a therapist given that I hadn’t worked through my own trauma or come out to anyone and I wasn’t really living the way I wanted,” Dan said. “That hurt me a lot, but I can’t say that he was wrong. Even if it’s easier to see other people’s mistakes and to know what they should do from the outside, I hadn’t gone through what I would probably advise them to do.”

“A valid point,” Phil conceded. “Expressed in quite a cruel way, but given that it was a breakup and that he knew you were trying to speak to me again… I understand.”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course, I understand,” Dan said.

Phil gave him a quick peck on the lips and smiled reassuringly. “We should go,” Phil said, looking at the time on his phone. “I don’t want to get there after the show starts, it’s disrespectful.”

Dan grabbed his jacket and put it on, checking himself in the mirror by the front door. “Alright, I’m ready,” he said but paused. “Does Mark still kiss you randomly?”

“No, of course not. You know he has a boyfriend,” Phil said. “And we haven’t been involved like that since like 2013. It was a mutual decision and to help the change move faster he moved out of the flat that same year. We never looked back.”

“Do you miss it?” Dan asked, biting his lip. “Do you wish it was still like that?”

“No,” Phil said, trying not to lose his patience with Dan. He had his doubts and even if he had chosen a very inconvenient moment to ask them, he deserved full honesty. Phil looked into Dan’s eyes for a moment and thought that another question would be coming but Dan just smiled and let out a happy sigh.

“Alright,” Dan said. “Let’s go.”

By the time they made it to the club, the place was booming but Mark had saved them a table. He was sitting at their usual spot, waving them over and had the good grace of smiling at Dan, which was good since Phil didn’t want to have to murder his friend.

“Hey, Dan. I watched your video today, it was very powerful,” Mark said, patting Dan’s shoulder. “First time out?”

Dan looked at Mark with misty eyes, sneaking a glance at Phil and smiling. “Thank you so much,” he said, placing a hand on his chest. “Yeah, thank you for having me.”

Phil could tell how happy this was making Dan. He was being validated not only by Phil’s friend but by someone in the community that Dan had mentioned he feared would reject him. “Take this chair so you can see the stage better. Noah is so talented! He looks just like Lady Gaga in drag, which is hilarious.”

Dan sat where Phil had indicated, which left him with Phil at one side and Mark at the other. “What are we having?” he asked.

“Fries, obviously and some cocktails or beer,” Phil said. “What would you like?”

“Hmm, a margarita?” Dan smiled.

Phil smiled. Dan still liked his margaritas. “I’ll have one too, but we can let the bar know we want to reserve a bottle of Rosé for when Noah is done.”

“Oh, honey, he told them already. You know how he gets,” Mark said, using his actual unguarded voice.

Dan and Phil’s eyes widened. Dan because he had never heard Mark speak like that, and Phil because he knew that Mark only allowed a very small selection of people to hear him be openly flamboyant. He didn’t care for masculine stereotypes but he did care about giving people things they could mock him for.

“Please welcome Miss Kitty Tattletale!” said the announcer.

“There she is! Woooooo!” Mark yelled and threw a rose at his boyfriend.

“There he is, my husband!” Miss Kitty yelled, pointing at Mark. “Well,” she continued. “He’s not my husband yet, but I know damn well that a ring is coming, or he won’t be coming any time soon!” She said and the crowd laughed. “I’m joking, love. I love you. So how is everyone doing tonight with this shit weather? I almost didn’t have to tuck at all!”

Dan laughed and Mark joined him and patted his hand. Phil smiled. There were few ways faster to Mark’s heart than through praising Noah or enjoying his show.

“I know, I know that being our holy month, we have a lot of newcomers in the house, perhaps people that are fresh out of the closet,” Miss Kitty said. The crowd cheered. “I’m going to ask you to please, cheer, yell and toast to welcome our new siblings, the newest members of our community, to let them know that they are loved and accepted here, no matter what the outside world says. Give it up for the babies!”

The crowd went wild, a few people were patted on the back by their friends. Mark and Phil cheered as loud as they could while Dan smiled so big, Phil thought his face was going to get stuck like that. Dan even rushed to wipe a tear rolling down his cheek but Phil saw it, silently reaching for his hand under the table and lacing their fingers together. Dan leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

For the first lip sync Noah went for “Born this way” and gave it his all, ending in a full split that reminded Phil just how unfit he was.

By the time the show ended, the three of them were quite tipsy and Dan had gone to the face paint station to get some glitter around his eyes, which suited him beautifully, like most things in life. Noah joined them bare faced and introduced himself to Dan before pulling him into a tight hug, as if they had been great friends for years. “Oh, darling. It’s so good to finally meet you. Phil had you hidden away, but I knew the day would come.” He then walked around the table and took the only available seat, right across from Dan.

“Thank you. I just escaped his basement,” Dan joked.

“Did he have you all tied up?” Noah asked and without waiting for an answer he laughed. “How kinky! Tell me, Dan, how are you enjoying the attention your video is getting?”

Dan blinked, surprised by the change in topic. “It has been mostly good, so I am shocked. I expected some backlash, or to lose subscribers, that kind of thing, but it was quite the opposite. It has helped me view the world in a more positive light, I guess.”

“I am happy for you. I can tell that you worked hard on your video,” Noah said.

“I also told you that he worked hard on it,” Phil said.

“Some people work for something in a year and you can’t tell, in this case, I could tell because the video was very entertaining but also honest and the script was very eloquent. You know, if you ever want to try drag, I think you would be good at it. Just let me know.”

“I would love that, but I think if I tried to wear heels, I would probably fall to my death,” Dan laughed. “I’m really clumsy.”

“If Phil hasn’t fallen with how many times we got him into a dress, there’s probably hope for you,” Mark said.

Dan smiled and looked at Phil. “Really? How did you like it?”

“It was fun, but tight dresses and heels are not my thing, it makes me feel a bit constricted,” Phil said, but the image of Dan in drag popped into his head and brought out a smile on him. “You would look cute in a skirt though.”

Dan cocked his head, probably considering it, but shrugged. “Maybe.”

Noah tapped on Dan’s shoulder excitedly. “Hey, did Phil tell you we liked your play last year? I’m sorry we couldn’t stay, I was super tired.”

“He did, actually. Thank you so much for coming!”

“Oh, you’re welcome. Oh! Here comes the Rosé!” Noah said. “Let’s make a toast!” He poured Rosé for everyone and raised his own flute. “To living your truth!”

“To living your truth,” they all said. Phil snorted at Noah’s accidental admission to stalking Dan’s channel. He hadn’t expected anything else from his friends.

Dan smiled widely and mouthed a thank you to Phil before shuffling closer to him.

That night, Phil considered inviting Dan to sleep over but he knew how fast things could escalate, especially while they were both tipsy. He thought he was ready, but he wanted to see where Dan stood before things progressed, so they shared a taxi, each getting out at their respective flat.

---

On the last day of June, Phil finally posted his own coming out video. It was short and mostly positive, merely conveying part of his journey as a young gay teen and how that differentiated him from his friend group, and offering a bit of advice to his viewers. People reacted very positively to the video, as much as they did to Dan’s but what really put a smile on his face was cuddling up on the sofa with Dan and answering the array of texts flowing in from the northern gang.

Richie: Congrats Phil! I can’t believe you are out on the internet. I saw Dan’s video too btw.

Phil: Thanks. I’ll never get used to seeing your name as richie. I don’t know a richie.

Anja: Now that he knows lying has consequences he can’t keep the big dick display name. Congrats Phil!

Sarah: I really loved how short and to the point the video was. And the closet thing too! That was super funny.

Anja: You should have really posted the closet bit only as a joke, but I understand that you care about your art xD.

Richie: Hey! I was just putting Christina to bed and I come back to pure slander. Shame on you Anja!

Ian: I mean… let’s not dwell on that for your sake. Congrats Phil! The wife and kid say hi.

Phil: Tell them I said hi back. How is Angie?

Ian: Growing faster than I would like to. She made a unicorn with beads for you. It has flaming rainbow hair.

Phil: I want it. Save it for me.

Ian: Isn’t it time for us to get together? It has been way too long.

Anja: Yes!!!

Richie: Bring Dan. He never bullied me like these roaches.

Ian: I won’t bully you if you bring Christina.

Richie: Deal.

Phil showed Dan his phone and saw his smile widened

“Did you tell them we are together?” Dan asked.

Phil shook his head. “I guess they just assumed.”

Phil: Dan and I are not together.

Sarah: What?

Anja: Phil…

Phil: We are taking things slowly, seeing where we are now. Still working on it.

Anja sent an audio: “Phil I swear to fucking god, it has been years. Get on with it!”

Dan cackled and buried his face in Phil’s neck. “She does have a point.”

Phil: We’re waiting until marriage.

Ian: Can you also invite Mark or would he fight Dan to the death?

Phil: debatable. I’ll get back to you on that.

He laughed and let his phone slide between the couch cushions, choosing to kiss Dan instead of keeping the conversation going.

#succubusphan fics #phanfic #phanfiction #phan #phan au #dan and phil #ospbb 2023

5 notes · View notes