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nartothelar · 9 months

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But for the vampire au, have you considered Emmet getting Severely Hurt™️ and Ingo turning him to keep his brother alive?

Or do they have an agreement to just let things happen?

“No.” Emmet responds simply, decisively.

The answer is expected and yet, the disappointment Ingo feels is an unwelcome heaviness, his constant frown turning genuine without it meaning to.

Ingo had asked the very same question thrice times now.

Once was when they were kids. It was casual inquiry that came with little prompting; he had asked out of curiosity more than anything. Ingo had asked Emmet after they had defeated a trio of challengers off hand. Emmet had laughed, light and airy, when he answered. They had gotten ice cream using their winnings after.

The second time had been following a much more harrowing experience. A safety check forgotten, a simple mistake by a depot agent newly hired, had resulted in a derailed train. Fortunately only a few were injured. Unfortunately, one of those few was Emmet.

Ingo had asked him with bags under his eyes, something quite silly since Ingo didn’t even need to sleep. (Was that makeup? Emmet had joked with an exhausted smile.)

Emmet, laying in that hospital bed, IV's in his arm and a cask around his left leg, had responded much the same, a chuckle rather than a laugh. Perhaps his headache had come back to manage much more than that. Ingo didn’t attempt to change his mind and offered him the chicken noodle soup Elesa had brought for him.

And the third time was right now: Ingo sitting across from Emmet in the dining room of their shared apartment. It was morning and even though the windows curtains were drawn, the room was illuminated with a soft glow. In front of his brother was a plate of eggs and toast, him nursing a cup of black coffee. In front of Ingo was just a cup of tea, untouched and cooling.

“But why don’t you want to be a vampire?”

The way he asks shows his cards far to easily. Whoever had said Subway Boss Ingo was hard to read must have not tried at all.

His brother looks at him, assessing him, and then looks away.

Emmet is silent for a minute, simply gazing at the cup in front of him. His food was getting cold.

Most would think Emmet was being hesitant when answering, that this was a sign he didn’t want to answer at all. But Ingo knows him well. He knows he wants to go over what he will day and that he voices his thoughts properly.

Ingo is patient and waits. Finally, Emmet answers.

“I like the sun.” His brother says, looking at him. The color of his eyes haven’t dulled all these years. “It feels warm on my skin. It feels good.”

“I love eating. The taste, the action. Yup!" Emmet picks at his plate with a hum. "I want to eat what I like, when I like."

“I like my independence." Ingo's tea leaves an ashy taste as he sips it - a floral chamomile bag floats at the bottom of it. "I do not want to be dependent on others. I do not want to be dependent on things out of my control."

"I know that I will have to sometimes." Emmet really looks at him now. "And that is ok. But I still feel the same way.”

Ingo squeezes his mug, before he relaxes his grip. Emmet notices.

Emmet lays his palm on his chest, closing it into a fist near the middle.

“I like being human.” It sounds final, the words like a gavel to wood, the way it echoes in his mind. “I do not want to be a vampire.”

Ingo wants to argue. To convince him that the pros outweigh the insignificant cons, but he does not. No. Usually Ingo is more eloquent with his words, but the fear that rises up in his throat makes his usually well thought out words more brisk, more succinct, more honest as he says the obvious.

“But you are aging.” Ingo says. You are dying, Ingo tries, fails, and a refrains to add.

Ingo hands are smooth, his face without a wrinkle. He looks as the same as he as when he first became a subway boss. He has since he was sent to Hisui. Forever youthful. And Emmet.

Emmet's hands are calloused, wrinkled from years of maintenance at gear station. His hair is thinning and his temples were turning white. His stride not as brisk as it was years ago.

“I am.” Emmet replies. “And I will continue to age.”

Ingo knows Emmet. He is stubborn, just like himself. That is how he is. He knows he will not change his mind. And that makes him clench his jaw, look down at his cup with furrowed brow.

“Ingo.”

Ingo snaps his head up, fear turning to anger that makes him feel sick. He should not be angry, but he is.

“Then you plan to reach your final stop?” Emmet’s smile dims. Ingo continues anyway. “Leave this station?” Without me? Ingo clamps down before he utters the accusation.

“You....you will have me wait here for you to die? And do nothing?!”

And there it is. Ingo barring his greatest fear since he got turned. The thing that has plaguing his mind since he stood at the grave of his old clan leader in Hisui, at the cemetery where his other wardens were laid to rest. What he had realized as he saw time passes by, years of constant goodbyes and tearful farewells.

It was that, no matter how grand his ideals, the simple truth of the matter was that he was utterly powerless to the passage of time.

Ingo doesn't realize that he has stood up until he is already towering over Emmet's seated form. His fangs barred and he suspects his eyes are slits.

And despite that, Emmet looks calm. He looks...sad.

“I didn’t ask for this.” Ingo says softly, deflated as the anger leaves his body. To live on as those around him pass. To see enjoy his life without the people he cares most around him.

Ingo feels arms wrap around him and he wraps trembling arms around Emmet too, his head laying on his shoulder. They stay like that for a moment, simply holding each other, not letting go.

"I'm sorry I never gave you the choice." Emmet finally says. Ingo's hands grip at Emmet's shirt. "We were young. You were dying. And I was desperate. I did not want to lose you..."

Emmet pulls back after that, not all the way, but enough to look into Ingo's face. His fangs have retracted, his eyes normal again. "But those details do not matter now, do they?" Emmet sighs out, that sad smile still there.

"They matter. Of course they matter." Ingo protests, but he doesn't elaborate pass that.

Emmet looks at the floor, thinking about his words and looks at Ingo again before saying, "Everything reaches its final terminal."

"Not me." Ingo says. It comes out bitter.

"Everything does." Emmet repeats, shaking his head. He squeezes Ingo's forearm before he lets go. "I did not give you a choice. but you can choose for yourself now."

His brother’s crows feet, a result from decades worth of smiles, crinkle at the edges as he looks at him. "Just as I choose for myself."

Ingo dwells on those words, on what his brother is offering. A choice and a decision to make. Emmet looks at him and Ingo understands.

With a sigh (a concession, a compromise), Ingo nods and accepts Emmet's answer.

That heaviness Ingo feels is not fully gone from his mind, but it has lightened, the tension of the room dispersing like the morning fog.

Emmet notices, smiles, and sits back down to finish his breakfast. Ingo follows. And then the silence is filled anew with his brother's latest retelling of yet another dealing he had with a rude passenger yesterday.

Ingo listens and they both laugh and talk and all is right and as it should be that morning, in their shared moment of time.

Him and his brother were a two car train, always have been, no matter their differences. And no matter what, he was going to be there with him until his brother's final destination.

And then after that, once that engine has long gone cold, Ingo would decide when his last stop was too.

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quartergremlin · 3 months

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to the shine...

#quarterdraws #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise leo #yuichi usagi #illustration #concept art #process #ah whoops i put this im my queue amd them forgot to add any text or tags

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magicicephoenix · 7 months

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a shadow in the spotlight

#bendy and the ink machine #batim #bendy and the dark revival #batdr #bendy #doodle dump #me captioning a drawing dramatically?? more likely than you think #took a break from palette requests but they’re still open! if you were curious :)#god i love him #edit: ah whoops he doesn’t have pockets. oh well.

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sleepis4theweak · 5 months

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DTIYS for @diona-98 !!!

Had a lot of fun with this one :)

#<3 <3 <3 #diona101DTIYS #Caine diona #tadc fam #tadc caine #this art reminds me of the lalala song for some reason #IDK WHAT THE SONG NAME IS THO AH #update: its called 4am by Grimes :)#and they are not saying lalala they are saying “falling down” really fast whoops-#sleepy art

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soleminisanction · 5 months

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The thing I keep coming back to, now that I've wrapped up the first part of "Batgirl, Repentant" and am starting to outline the second, is how much the book's hyper-focus on Steph hamstrings the story I think they're trying to tell.

I say I think because obviously I can't read the writers' minds so for all I know they taped the random lip service about hope and justice and fighting for the little guys onto the Stephanie-love-fest in a half-assed response to criticism, but I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt and believe that when the first arc ends with:

And that gets followed up two issues later with Steph telling Damian:

I want to take them at their word that that's what they're going for. But it's not the story they tell at all because, for all the lip service paid, there's not a single plot point that actually backs those themes up. Every single narrative element is instead 100% oriented around Stephanie, her feelings, her desires, and her ambitions, none of which involve helping or protecting other people.

Batgirl's first appearance in issue 1 isn't about bringing hope or protecting anybody, it's about, "Ooooh, who is this mysterious new Batgirl who's such a badass but looked down on by The Man for being a little chaotic? Ta-da, it's Stephanie Brown!!"

When she talks about promises being made to her mom (by which of course I mean lies, she's just lying to her mother) or the supposed "promise" she didn't actually make to Tim Drake, it's all framed as unreasonable expectations that other people are piling onto Steph's shoulders, without so much as a second thought for how the person she supposedly made these promises to might feel.

When Cass leaves her the Batgirl costume, it's not with requests to carry on the legacy or protect Gotham in her absence or even to look out for Barbara, it's all about Cass's relationship with Bruce (as though that was ever her motivation!) and then "Now the fight is yours, Stephanie" while she vanishes into the rain in her underwear. Like Batgirl is a toy she's letting Steph have her fair turn with now that she doesn't want to play anymore.

When Steph thinks about the symbolism of the Bat and of Batgirl, it's not about how it can be a symbol of hope and protection in the darkness of Gotham, it's about how it makes her feel powerful. Even when she worries about messing up it's framed as, "Nothing I do ever ends well" and "It's just a matter of time before I get caught," not concerns about the harm her previous attempts that "didn't end well" wound up doing to other people.

And despite the fact that there's a riot going on in the next few pages, she's not inspired to go out and help with that, but to assist a single dumbass cop who got in over his head.

And then again when Babs shows up to chew her out in the next issue, it's all about Steph and her safety. "You already died" this and "You have a death wish" that. Barbara Gordon, the original Batgirl, only gets to talk about the symbolism of Batgirl as it relates to Stephanie Brown -- "Wearing that Bat on your chest might scare off the smaller thugs, but you're literally asking, no, begging for attention from more dangerous criminals. You're a mark for anyone who wants to make theirs."

Again, even the fact that she fucked up in the past and hurt people is framed around Steph -- "The last time you tried being helpful, you accidentally brought Gotham to its knees." And while Steph pays lip service to "doing this instead of sleeping" because she "thinks it's right," she doesn't ever elaborate on what exactly is "the right thing" she thinks she's doing, and it's not like she's gone out to protect people. You can't even argue, like you maybe could with the street race, that she's doing a flashy display to show ordinary people there's someone on their side -- she's beating up random goons in an isolated chop-shop.

Then of course there's the fact that nothing about Scarecrow's whole Thrill plot makes any sense because he's not being written with any kind of coherent villain motivation, it's all just being done to set up moments for Steph. Why do some of his goons decide to spike the punch at a random college party and then run away at just the right moment to make themselves look as suspicious as possible? Because Stephanie's going to be there and they need to hook her into that plot.

And when Steph argues with Babs later about why they should work together to solve this case, does she express concern about her classmates or her university, or even point out that Barbara isn't working with an on-the-street agent like she has in the past and hey, maybe you'd be a little less stressed if you had someone to share the load?

Nope. It's just "I'm just as much a part of it now as you are!"

To say nothing of my eternal, teeth-grinding frustration over Barbara's characterization. "I'm only being so hard on her because I'm jealous that she's Batgirl and I'm not anymore." Fuck all the way off, Bryan Q. Miller.

This whole thing is so bad that when you get to the climax of this arc -- when they've tracked Scarecrow and his goons to their creepy hospital lair -- the stakes aren't that anyone is in danger, or that there's any chance that Scarecrow might be able to escape in the next five minutes before the police arrive. In fact, if Steph's actual motivation was to make sure Scarecrow saw justice, it would've been a better strategy for her to stay outside watching the exits so she could jump him if he tried to make a run for it.

But she doesn't do that. Because the actual stakes for the climax of the first arc are that if she doesn't swing in and beat the shit out of Scarecrow right the fuck now, the police will beat her to it and then Stephanie won't get the credit for saving the day.

They even try to clumsily raise the stakes by implying that Scarecrow works for Black Mask, a plot point that goes absolutely nowhere because -- whoopsie -- Black Mask is dead at this point and has been since before Steph came back to life. He only ever showed up again as a Black Lantern in Blackest Night, at which point Ivy fed him to a plant.

(They did not fix this in the trade paperback version BTW, I checked)

There's some effort to turn Steph's fight with Scarecrow into something more by having him spout some weird nonsense about how he's controlling people with drugs because, "Nobody truly has a choice little girl" while she represents free will fighting back against attempts to take it away, but that's seriously hamstrung by the fact that writing is all over the place.

Like, at the start of Steph's big dramatic speech, she's all but arguing against the concept of free will, echoing an earlier classroom discussion I've bitched about before, saying that people (by which of course she actually means herself) stay when things get tough "Because we don't know how to do anything else."

But on the very next page she poses the question again and answers it with... frankly complete nonsense.

Because the point isn't actually 'control vs. free will', the whole thing -- all of the forced, misunderstood philosophy that fills out this entire arc -- is actually just repeating the same question Babs was asking earlier, this time in metaphor -- why does Stephanie keep throwing herself into danger, why doesn't she just quit?

And her answers, apparently, are, "because this is who I want to be" and "because I don't know how do anything else." Neither of which spare even a passing thought for anyone but herself, which is kind of a problem if you're trying to present Batgirl's mission statement as bringing hope to the people around her.

Then there's the bit about "facing your worst self," which refers to slightly before this, when Scarecrow drugs Steph with Thrill (a move that makes no sense in-universe because again, Scarecrow is only here to set up set pieces for Stephanie and has zero internal logic of his own). What Steph sees during that sequence is her ex-boyfriend and previous identity tearing her down and telling her that she's not good enough to be a superhero, which implies that her 'worst self' is self-doubt, or possibly "letting other people make you doubt yourself." Again -- all about her, with other people framed as nothing but obstacles to her happiness.

And just to remind you-- she has no actual reason to be here. She's not "saving the city," the city is not under threat. She's not doing anything heroic by throwing herself into this fight. She's only doing this because she wanted the credit for saving the day. That's the only stake the story ever establishes.

It's like there's this standing assumption that she must obviously want to be superhero for selfless reasons, therefore they don't need to bring that up ever and can just focus on how much she wants to be one and how noble it is that she's willing to fight through pain and hardship to be one.

But that's just not how it works? Maybe if you were still writing for the Golden Age when the storytelling was simpler and characterization was optional, but not in 2009. Part of the purpose of a solo book's first arc is to establish/re-establish the core hero's motivation and, if it's changed, explain how and why.

Just as a contemporary example -- Red Robin sends Tim Drake off on what's literally a personal quest and spends its first arc establishing how he's darker and more alone than he's ever been before... but it still opens with him rescuing a kidnapping victim, reaffirming that, whatever he's going through and whatever he has to do to accomplish his goal, he's still, at heart, a hero who will put his own needs aside to protect an innocent. That's also the role that Tam Fox essentially plays in the second arc, giving him someone to protect even when he's isolated from the normal push and pull of the DCU.

Whether you're approaching Batgirl (2009) as a new reader who's never met Steph before in your life, or as someone who read her previous material, there is nothing in this first arc, or those that follow, that establishes her motivation beyond, "I want to be Batgirl and I won't let anyone tell me no." She'll occasionally say she's being selfless and heroic, but it's not backed up by her actions or her thoughts.

Perhaps the most blatant self-contained example of this "It's all about Stephanie and obviously she's a perfectly selfless hero so we don't need to bother establishing it," mindset comes in the denouncement of the first arc. They recreate the vow in the dark -- not the most iconic scene in Batman history but still one that's well-known, a moment that goes all the way back to the first appearance of Robin, when Dick and Bruce vowed an "undying oath" to fight together against crime and corruption and never to swerve from the path of righteousness, symbolically committing themselves to act as a light in the darkness and protectors of the innocent.

Batgirl (2009) recreates this scene... by having Barbara vow to support Stephanie Brown and only Stephanie Brown in everything that she does "for as long as she wants it" so she "won't go out alone" and end up in a chair like Babs did. Meanwhile, Steph's response boils down to, "Oh yeah totes me too," because, according to the book, she doesn't need to take an oath, it's just completely self-evident that she's already made her right choice and will obviously continue to do the same forever and ever, no doubt about it.

Two extra little details scattered throughout:

Through the entire series, Steph is constantly doing this obnoxious humble-brag thing of, "I'm Stephanie Brown, and I'm just a normal girl tee-hee" over images of her doing badass Batgirl things that are obviously supposed to be ironic, and she always uses her full name. The trade paperback version is literally called, "Batgirl: Stephanie Brown" because there's nothing else to say about this story. Tim Drake: Robin didn't use his full name this much and it was actually in the title.

And that's not even getting into how often they waste entire pages on splash images of just... Stephanie. Not Stephanie doing anything special, just, Stephanie, and we're supposed to be very awed and impressed by her because she's Stephanie Brown and she's Batgirl now wowie wow wow.

That one tiny little caption box in the upper-left corner of the last page of the storyline? That's literally the first and only time that the concept of "Batgirl makes sure everyone gets home to see tomorrow" is ever mentioned.

This his is all just the first storyline. This same pattern continues on into the rest of the book, only getting worse as they add in other Batfamily member guest-stars for Steph to show up and prove wrong, and stock civilians who do nothing but shower her with praise and adoration. The tiny little sprinkles they offer up of, "Oh yeah I'm doing this to bring hope to the people of Gotham!!" just don't compare to deluge of "Steph gets to be Batgirl because she wants to be Batgirl, that makes her the coolest motherfucker on the planet, and if you disagree you must be sexist."

---

TL;DR (and sorry this got so long) -- Bryan Q. Miller et. al seem to be either under the impression (or want to give the impression) that they're telling the story of Stephanie Brown, the plucky young girl who never gave up on her dream of being a superhero no matter the haters or setbacks she faced, and how seeing her succeed despite being so average and relatable inspires other average people to have hope and fight for a better tomorrow.

But the story they actually tell is of Stephanie Brown, a teenage girl utterly obsessed with becoming a superhero to the exclusion of all else, including her own well-being, future, and relationships with her friends and family, apparently just because she likes the way it makes her feel, has no self-control and can't imagine herself doing anything else, who is applauded and cheered for this by everyone she meets, save for a small handful of haters who are just there to be proven wrong, beaten up, or both.

The first could've been a good-ish story -- ish, because it doesn't actually engage with Steph's previous characterization, but that's a different post -- but it's just not the story they told.

#stephanie brown #batgirl #batgirl 2009 #batgirls #dc comics #dc #batman #meta #comics meta #barbara gordon #cassandra cain #hmmmm I wound up spending all day on this whoops #ah well it was a sick day and I needed to get it out of my head #there are worse reasons not to move for eight hours

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kasarian · 2 months

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lil mwahs and schmooches (oc kiss day 1!!)

#truthfully lupa is taller.. but ah. semantics. let his wife (also he/him) have some of the height #both constantly shape shift anyway!#oc kiss week #ockiss24 #myart #my art #sketch #oc alon #oc lupa #oc art #idk if i can color some but lets seeee #this week is prolly busy for me whoops

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missmako-chan · 1 month

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Ok, so. Boondorio is voiced by Rica Matsumoto, which most of us know as the voice of Satoshi in Pokemon, but she's also the singer of "Alive A life", the opening to Kamen Rider Ryuki.

I need to see art of Boondorio singing that song. It's needed badly.

#boonboomger #bakuage sentai boonboomger #mira: *breaks a window by accident* ''ah! whoops—''#boondorio: ''YUME YO ODORE—''#''what'' ''what''

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belligerentbagel · 1 year

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smüch

#resorting to just. a link to the song because the lyrics are actually way more wistful and sad than the atmosphere here! but good vibes #widojest #caleb widogast #jester lavorre #critical role #draws #don't think i did quite as tidy a cleanup job as i usually do on pencils but i just wanted to see if i could still *do* pencils!#and i can! whoop #(*squints at jester's freckles; which have completely vanished ಠ_ಠ*)#ah well! memory for the future that pencil freckles need to be WAY darker than you think they need to be

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skitskatdacat63 · 9 months

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"Bring on The Dancing Horses"(x) - Echo and The Bunnymen × Ferrari Drivers

#yes this web weave was titled 'Bring on The Prancing Horses' in my docs....yes im proud of that....#long post whoop!!! pls scroll back thru and listen to the song while doing so if you wanna experience it better :)#this was originally supposed to be an edit but i have no patience for that and im very happy w this!!#i daydream to music a lot and when i first heard this song i could only think of ferrari seb then sebchal then ferrari drivers in general #but this hurt me a lot to make(for several reasons)#one: AAAAHHHH IT MAKES ME SADDDDDDD!! now im only gonna be able to think of the myth of ferrari when i listen to this song #it rly hurt to look up the pics for this bcs it still feels sore to me and it makes me so sad #but at least i didnt have to watch vids! id probably burst into tears #two: fighting for my life in google docs trying to format the text hahaha... i refuse to use photoshop #special thanks to cofi (@sweatyflytrap) for giving me the idea to put the TPs for the lies lyrics!#its both funny and unfortunate that domenicali was the TP for both felipe and fernando #it would be a bit better if there was a different tp for each but ah oh well #also hehe changed the lyric a tiny bit for the Kimi part. in the og lyrics its Jimmy not Kimi but yknow felt odd to leave it as it was so!#other than that i really really ardently feel that this song fits the cycle of ferrari drivers soooooo well #the 'bring on the new messiah' at the end of the song PLEASE IT FITS SO WELL! with how they drop their prev golden boy for whoevers next!#also omg the way seb's verse is 'you're breaking my brittle heart' rather than "im breaking your brittle heart' HURTS DOESNT IT??????#i didnt included the original opening/middle verse. i def could make it fit but it wasnt a good opening for this post specifically #'Jimmy Brown made of stone' = kimi again. 'Charlie clown no way home' = charles of course!#anyways this is my magnum opus...but nah i really like it! ill only ever make web weaves w random 80s music i think hahah #ferrari #scuderia ferrari #felipe massa #kimi raikkonen #fernando alonso #sebastian vettel #charles leclerc #f1 #formula 1 #we do a little bit of f1 #normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion

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syncast-err0r · 9 months

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during the whole post s2 montage or whatever, it's revealed that gabriel and beelzebub actually live in a cottage in North Downs, being their resident cryptids and functioning in worse ways than crowley and aziraphale could ever manage, and that's just them not trying

their entire house has rooms that are either completely empty or fully thrashed. these two idiots didn't even bother with trying to seem human. the house just spawned out of nowhere and they don't even bother with humans' memories they literally do not give a fuck. there's no bathroom, no bedroom. however there is a dungeon. neither of them ever sleep so they're just walking around at night for funsies. they're awful. their neighbors at least are grateful because flies refuse to enter anywhere else aside from the bureaucracy house (house is a strong word) just bc beelzebub is nearby. fuck it. they have several floors which can only be accessed from the inside, meaning it looks like it only has one floor from the outside. they have a garden and for some reason it's full of the worst smelling plants to attract flies but also they don't smell at all because gabriel was like nah n beelzebub was like fair enough

do u guys see my vision. do u

#I'm thinking of writing a fic. I'm living my best life out here guys #good omens #kiln talks #ineffable bureaucracy #non horror / slasher #ah. by week 5 they're probably like oh we fucked up. whoops lol. reprograms everything n they try to act normal this time #I just adore outsider pov fics n I've never read one that was bureaucracy centered....#so. ya #feel free to steal my idea. the more the merrier

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fluffsnake · 1 year

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the simplicity of the maze is not to be questioned <3

#sorry for the spam there's actually a lot I haven't posted here whoops #ah... the humble suptober beginnings #suptober22 #supernatural #spn fanart #dean winchester #sam winchester #my art #winchester brothers

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rainthespiritual · 1 year

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Omg for your pre-death Tate fanfic maybe you could do them as friends at childhood and they slowly drift apart and y/n sorta forgets about Tate but he thinks about her everyday and then she catches him doing cocaine or cutting himself in the school bathroom and y/n realises Tate needs support so she be's that for him and stuff

pt 1 , pt 2

PRE-DEATH TATE LANGDON FIC

Okay im kind of really proud of this fic ITS SO GOOD (or maybe I'm just delusional... anywaysss.)

btw some trigger warnings for the series as a whole are deffinetly: drug abuse , depression , suicide , and topics similar to that even if they don't show up in this specific part THEY WILL EVENTUALLY so I just want yall to be warned ty

TRIGGER WARNINGS : tate langdon is a tw tbh and American horror story in general, smoking, talk of abusive dad and family slightly(it'll be talked abt more in other parts), angst, this part is more tame that the other parts will be and thats all... for now.

Summery: Y/n stumbles into the bathroom only to find old childhood friend Tate...

also sorry if formatting is shit I'm using my phone fml

You walk with your friends down the hall you've seen again and again, tuning them out almost completely like usual. They talk a lot of shit about people you don’t even know. And while gossip can be fun, they are just over the top with it. Every day, it seems they’ve found another thing to complain about.

"___ are you even listening? This is way serious!" you look towards them bags under your eyes they didn't even notice, they never ask or worry about you but expect all of that from you. It was extremely draining, and you often wondered why you still hung around them. But the fear of being alone was stronger than the need to be treated better. You didn’t have anyone else.

"oh no sorry, I was thinking about the project I have to do for Mrs.Ross. Hey, you guys go ahead of me I gotta head to the powder room real quick.." they try talking to you more but you manage to peel yourself away from them as fast as you can, basically sprinting to the bathroom.

You fall sitting on the floor releasing a sigh, glad you could now get a moment of peace and silence.

"___?" your eyes dart open hearing a familiar voice.. a familiar male voice.. in the girl's bathroom?

"Tate? what- what are you doing in here?" you look at him, slightly shocked. You hadn’t spoken to him in what seemed like forever. But truthfully, it had only been a couple of years, well maybe more than that, but long enough for him to have grown. He looks less like a boy, and more like a man now.

"I mean, I should probably be asking you that.. this is the boys' bathroom." He smiles slightly and you notice he's sitting on the counter where the sinks are.

"oh, I- I must have come in the wrong one. I'm sorry.." you look at him again, noticing how much older he looks than when you last saw him. Well, you saw him in the halls and even smiled or waved at him slightly, but you never really talked to him.

"ahh, it's fine. No one else is here just me. I think everyone's in class or at least getting there. The bells are about to ring." he smiles again wiping his nose slightly sniffling it, and you wonder why. ‘Maybe it's allergies’ you think.

"What are you doing up there?" You ask, signaling to the way he's sitting.

"Well, this bathroom is the least used so no one comes in usually.." mumbling a bit he avoids the question, now nervously playing with his fingers.

"I didn't know that, that doesn't answer my question tho. why sit up here?" you stand going to where he is climbing up to sit next to him.

"well just normal stuff I guess." he looks at you slightly thinking a bit before pulling a pack of cigarettes out making you gulp slightly. The only cigarettes you had encountered had been your father's. You tried smoking one when you were 13 but you immediately regretted it vowing to never smoke one again.

"you want one?" he asks smirking slightly at you.

"Oh- no thanks I don't smoke." he laughs slightly putting one in his mouth and lighting it.

"didn't think so." he inhales and puffs the smoke out and you wonder how he can do that without feeling completely ill.

"what does that even mean, I didn't think you smoked but you do so...." you fumble with your fingers slightly nervous around the now much older boy. The last time you talked to him he had to be 11. Maybe 12. It had been years, and you wondered why, why didn't we talk why did we stop being friends..

"well you look innocent, and like you've never touched anything ever." he laughs slightly, "could be wrong though." he continues smoking the cigarette, shaking the ashes from it into the sink. you assume so they can wash down.

"Well I've smoked once, I just absolutely hated it. mostly did it to spite my dad I guess" you admit, slightly watching him.

"How old were you? you always did hate that fucker. I remember us hiding his beers and shit so he wouldn't be able to find them, he'd get so mad." He states you both laugh slightly.

"I was thirteen? Maybe fourteen. somewhere around there. and I don't hate him, he's just overly annoying all the time."

he laughs slightly thinking the way you feel about the whole thing is cute.

His eyes look you over multiple times, he is clearly taking you in. He had seen you around since the last time you talked but not this full on. Only from afar, never up close. He enjoyed seeing the way you grew into the body he once knew, the face he knew. You looked so much older now it kind of made him sad, seeing how much time had gone by. It really made him think. He wished he had talked to you or atleast tried too, but seeing you with your new friends made him nervous. He never was one to fit in with the popular crowd so he avoided you. And now he deeply regrets it realizing how stupid he was.

"Well. If I'm remembering correctly you kind of did hate him. He was an asshole to you, don't know if that's still true but.. it's what I remember so." you sigh knowing he's partially correct.

"So you're just in here to smoke? or what. I mean you could do that after school or whatever." You ask slightly to change the subject but also because you just are genuinely curious.

"Well.." he starts but stops to think looking away fumbling with his pocket slightly and you can tell there's something inside. It seems to be a little tin but you can't be sure. "I just wanted to be alone I guess , away from the chaos that is a highschool hallway." he finishes putting his cigarette out and back in the box, you assume to finish later as you've learned from your dad. You both sit in silence for a bit and you realize how weird it is that you came to the same bathroom for the same reason, but there's also a slight comfort in the thought. Knowing you weren't the only one sick of all the noise was comforting because that meant you weren't that weird. Or at least you weren't the only weird one. Either way it made you feel a little better, and it made you wonder more and more why you let this sweet sarcastic boy go.

"That's why I came in here too, I just was.. Over it I guess. Done with being around other people.." you look away slightly avoiding his gaze, him staring at you so intensly made you nervous. Without hesitation he asks you something you don't expect.

"Do you like to be around me?" It's such a bold and forward question that you don't really expect from him. His tone is serious and you realise how much closer he is now, his eyes look into yours and you stare back. The silence says more to both of you than words ever could and it feels like forever almost, when in reality it was only like 30 seconds.

"I do yeah, I feel like you actually know me." He smiles at your words looking away for a moment taking it all in. His eyes meet yours again and he leans in closer. His eyes go to your lips and back to your eyes a couple times, and your eyes do the same.

"Excuse me is anyone in here?" Both your eyes widen slightly hearing a teacher opening the door slightly. Tate jumps off the sink now looking at the door then at you. He signals for you to hide in one of the toilet stalls, which you immediately do. You sit up on the toilet so your feet aren't seen through the slit at the bottom and you hear him start the sink. You think, 'probably to wash down the ashes'.

The teacher walks, his voice loud.

"Aren't you supposed to be in class Mister Langdon?" You cover your mouth trying to conceal your breathing, and you hope it works.

"I mean yeah but.. Y'know.." You can't see him but you assume he gestures towards the bathroom, and the teacher let's out a loud sigh.

"Uh huh, and any idea why the bathroom smells like smoke?" the teacher talks in a angry tone and you feel bad hoping he doesn't get into trouble.

"No idea sir, it smelled like that when I got here." The teacher sighs again almost like he doesn't believe him.

"Okay well come with me, I'll make sure you get to class on-time." you hear them walk out, and the door shut.

Still slightly frozen you stay for a moment but tense up when the door opens again.

"Meet me here again tommorow, same time." you take a sigh of relief realizing it's just Tate again. With that he walks out again saying something about how he got what he left in the bathroom.

You sigh in relief again kind of asking yourself what the hell just happened. It was weird seeing how affected you were from it all day. It was all you could think about in class, and at lunch. Even at home when you were laying in bed alone, it was weird seeing how one boy you knew so long ago could effect you now. You kind of enjoyed the feeling. The anticipation. You were excited to see him the next day, and you wondered what would happen.

'I guess I'll just have to find out tomorrow..' you thought to yourself. I guess you just will.

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