#ARE YOU SERIOUS ALEX LYNN???????

[goldrushenthusiast]

“Nico didn’t need to be gay!!” “Everyone is making everyone queer!”

SHUT UP!

Do you want to know my thought process, leading up to HOH?

“oh my god is he serious there’s no way he’s gonna actually make him have a crush on Annabeth yeah just we need more of that terrible trope (c’mon please be Percy) are you seriously kidding me (wait omfg it might be) wait holy shi-”

Until the actual part I thought it was going to be Annabeth. I could not believe it. And yeah, it was fucking traumatic but do you know how many times I reread that passage because I thought it would go away? Be forgotten about forever? Never talked about again? But it WASNT. And I was incredulous.

Name one gay character from Harry Potter (no, dumbledore doesn’t count. literally stfu).

Name one gay character from divergent (Lynn dying and saying she loved Marlene doesn’t count). Edit: apparently there is also one gay couple and a guy having a crush on four, I had in fact forgotten about those (I haven’t read the books in 4+ years (2 of which I didn’t know I was gay) and I have always been impartial to lesbians ig)

Name one gay character from Hunger Games (no, Plurbius’ partner (Cyprus) and Barb Azure & the gal down the street don’t count).

Now you might be thinking “ha! you can’t say they don’t count!” but I CAN (especially dumbledore).

there’s a reason I remember the exact characters and the exact times their partners were mentioned! there’s a reason those are the only ones! Plurbius’ partner Cyprus is mentioned ONCE! and no pronouns used. Lynn and Marlene may have had chemistry before (I haven’t read the books in a while) but the only time she “came out” was her DEATH? and it could be interpreted differently. The Covey, Coriolanus, and Sejanus leaving to lake and letting Barb Azure see the gal up the street. That’s it! In the most popular Y/A books we get fed TABLE SCRAPS.

In PJO, it’s different. So much different. We have Nico, Will, Piper, Alex, Magnus (technically? idk), and probably more.

PJO also wasn’t marketed as some huge inclusive book! It was just a normal book, with a normal gay character in it. With 3! With 4! With 5!

No, not everybody in books needs to be gay. But some people in real life are, and sometimes those people have a hard time accepting that and sometimes seeing themselves represented helps just a tiny bit. So stfu and let us have this because y’all have EVERYONE else.

#pjo #percy jackson #pjo memes #heroes of olympus #pjo hoo toa #trials of apollo #hoo #toa #nico di angelo #will solace #lesbian piper mclean #piper mcqueen #piper mclean #Barb azure #lynn divergent #Marlene divergent #nico x will #solangelo #Plurbius bell #Harry potter #hp #dumbledore #lgbtq

[mrfandomgage]

"Dear, can you at least have a sip with me?" Alex pleas with Gage, holding an alcoholic beverage in a ball shaped container to him.

Gage sighs, "sure".

"I just- wait what?"

"I'll take a sip", Gage extends his hand, "but if I hate it I'm spitting it into your mouth".

Alex hands over the drink, "I mean, I wouldn't mind that".

"Weirdo", Gage takes a sip, and reactively swallows making a disgusted look on his face, "yup... still as awful as I remember".

"Awww, not gonna share?"

"Alex, I wasn't serious about that. Now my stomach feels unpleasantly warm".

"Well, could you be serious about it? We can kiss for it!"

"Are you already drunk?"

"Not yet. Besides, it's fun seeing what you'll do for me".

Gage sighs once more looking at the container, "alright".

"Yes!" Alex cheers.

Gage stares at the drink and thinks about it. With a sigh, he lifts the orb to his mouth an takes in a sip. He moves to Alex, trying to keep himself from spitting out the burning liquid in his mouth. Alex places a hand on his shoulder smiling. As their faces near contact, a door opens bringing light into a void, Gage startled spit takes.

"HEY, Gage, Goat and I are..." Lynn looks up and down seeing only furniture floating in a blank space, "is this a bad time?"

Alex wipes off her face, and Gage responds, "a little bit".

Lynn reaches his leg into the room dipping it down past the supposed floor where Gage and Alex are standing, panicking he pulls himself back up and rebalances, "yeah, pretty bad timing".

"Have a good time", Alex groans, "and stay safe".

As the door closes, Gage sighs, "we can try again if you-"

Alex giggles giving Gage a hug, "thank you so much honey!" She says, rubbing off the alcoholic beverage onto Gage.

Gage lifts the container again.

#gage fandom #alex fandom #lynn

[matteblacklips]

august update ii

Disclaimer: I would like to begin this email thread by saying if you didn’t want to receive emails from me you shouldn’t have given me your email to begin with.

Joke of the chain: Hear about the new restaurant called Karma....There’s no menu: You get what you deserve. Trip to NYC: New York was not what I expected. Of course it smelled & there were a lot of rats but I actually really loved it there. Huge fan of Kelvin being down af to do anything and a bigger fan of Stevin and Mina. I can’t wait until October 7th to see Jack Harlow there and have a weekend with 7. I found the coolest decorations for my new apartment and I just need frames for them now, and I got a special edition Spider-Man comic. Kelvin and I spent some quality time together this weekend and if he doesn’t hate me after spending four hours with me both ways, it’s safe to say Kelvin is never getting sick of me. The bar we went to was called The Vig Bar and walking there for 20 mins was almost worth losing a toe..the drinks were disgustingly strong.

Shefali Roast: Fiona asked me if she should go see Ewan McGregor this weekend, and little ole me confused Obi Wan with that boxer/wrestler/fighter from Ireland. I'm totally blanking on names and I can't tell if it's because I'm getting old or if my brain is fried from all the boozing I've been doing.

Kelli Talk : Everyone please pray for our queen Kelli who is now living with three boys until after Labor Day weekend. Being a physical touch girlie, I made her hold my hand today...let me know why neither of us have any f'n circulation? Boy update: Everyone welcome Alex to the chain. He is extremely excited to read the tea. Also; I left my purse at his apartment after my sneaky link & I swear I’ve never felt like more of an idiot considering not even 24 hours before that, I left my purse in Kelvin’s car after he dropped me off. Thank you, T, for driving/making me drive to go get it. I’m never doing that again.

TV Provider Update: HBOMax currently has the best selection of new shows and movies. Will keep you updated considering it changes every few weeks after they took down the Dark Knight Rises, I’ve never been Pro-HBO but they brought back some classics.

Pop culture Update: Jeanette Mcurdy (is that how you spell her name¿ I definitely messed that up) released a book and she basically talked about how much she resented Ariana Grande to the point where she heard a song of hers play on the radio and she started bawling her eyes out. Not Ariana’s fault obviously but Nickelodeon basically forced her to turn down movie roles because of her Sam and Cat contract but would let Ariana miss weeks of work for singing. It’s really sad when you think about it.

November/December plans: I was thinking of getting tickets to go see Celtics/Bulls game in November at TD Garden and I’m 90% down to send it but no one ask to go with me unless you’ll drop the $400 now. You already know I’m so petty that I’ll go by myself and watch the Bulls lose. I’m also down for the Celtics/Heat game in December, but I don’t have a grudge against the Heat. Serious inquiries only.

Amendment: I actually went to buy the tickets but I couldn't find my debit card so now I'm impulsive AND upset. Will try again tomorrow.

Catherine Update: 

Friend update: 7 is sick, Thomas and X are probably fine. Kiersten is headed to the cape this week. Anthony and X might live together. X is still so sexy. Kelvin listened to 2 hours of Taylor Swift with me this weekend. Mina has my glycolic acid toner and probably will never use it (I recommend that he does). Kelli is living with her boyfriend. Catherine might go see Alesso tmr. Fiona quit her job (congratulate her). Lynn saw The Weeknd in Dallas, she’s also a reels girlie. Tyler now has an apartment in Chicago and has a blanket and his couch ready for me. Mina Shehata is doing well, I miss him dearly, does anyone remember the first email I sent out (the one with the Holiday Muffin recipe), I’m still so touched that he chose to use that recipe and made it to top two in his baking competition. 

Anniversary : Happy Three Years, Pat and Sierra!

Song on repeat: Butter by BTS but the Meg Thee Stallion remix. Listen to it, you will not regret it. 

Availability this week: High chance of 7 and I going to dinner with Thomas and X this Friday, also high chance of us being on a boat. Kiersten is free this week so assume that the girls are raging this weekend (Saturday) Everyone is welcome to come. I can send a follow up email about location/where we go. Wednesday & Thursday are looking like I’m going home (considering I haven’t been home since last Tuesday) and I’m pretty sure my dad misses me. I work remote on Friday and that means I’m either taking the early morning bus in OR driving into the city after my 4:30 call OR I may not be allowed to leave my house..stay tuned.

Best, 

Shefali Patel

Follow up questions:

Do I have a loud voice? I was with a man and he said I did and I'm not gonna lie...that shit hurt my feelings so bad I almost shut up for the rest of the night.

What's worse, homewrecker or homie-hopper? Like from the perspective of the person being homewrecked and the homie that got hopped on. I personally say homie-hopper because imagine your best friend fucked your boyfriend/girlfriend.. that's fucked...could never be me...ever.

Keep in mind you would be responding to the chain so don’t blow my spot if you can help it. I would really appreciate keeping my dignity if I could.

What to expect: weekly to biweekly emails regarding things that matter to me including but not limited to bad jokes, an update on plans, current events, and my personal favorite new recipes and places to check out!

#shefalipatel_ on ig

[womanwithahotdogstand]

Dude I have to agree with that other person about Crystal and some other thoughts:

1. Crystal is still very good, but not as good as she was after pregnancy. You can also just tell she doesn’t love playing there and is kind of over it and I get that. Nothing wrong for wanting to play what position you love and feel natural at. Plus her husband did that dumb shit with pills in the NWSL not long ago that she had to deal with.She just doesn’t seem like her usual cheerful/ bouncy self. She is now 31 also, it’s ok to lose a step. She is still a great player, definitely on Olympics roster for me. But fans do freak out if you don’t give her a 💯 grade every time.

2. Sanchez isn’t used enough.

3. Tierna Davidson seems out of the fold for me. She had the injury, couple of mistakes in tournaments and she seems very intelligent. I think she will go on to do something great outside of soccer. She also never had the USWNT killer instinct to me.

4. Alex still has what it takes to be on the team, but not a starter right now. Still wants it and plays physical. Needs to score though. Alex isn’t dumb she knows being affiliated with the team brings her opportunities, sponsors and money. She may not like being 2nd team ( that’s a hard pill to swallow for any aging athlete) but I don’t see her walking away from the brand yet.

5. Cook isn’t a starter and makes me nervous while watching.

6. Andi Sullivan is a lovely person, not USWNT material.

7. Lynn has been off since returning from injury. Never was a great finisher with the national team.

8. Love Rose but she is made of glass.

9. Julie Ertz retiring broke my heart.

10. All of these talented players in this pool have been set back from covid, injury and horrible coaching for the past 4 years. It’s time to get serious, look forward and kick ass at the Olympics.

PS: I miss Tobin and Christen playing. If they decide to retire I just need a send off game 🙏🏼 I miss Sammy Bananas. I want Alex, Tobin, Kriegs, Kelley and Horan to be coaches in the future for the team.

PSS: Ashlyn Harris is a douche! Team Kriegs!

✌🏼

2, 10 and being Team Al are the only things I agree with you on.

[alexsfictionaddiction]

Alex Recommends: November Books

I am currently tackling the first few assignments for my MA course. I am still mostly enjoying it but one assignment in particular is taking up a lot of my time at the moment. I am doing all I can to keep on top of my stress management but sometimes it is very hard. I’m really looking forward to a bit of a break at Christmas though.

Mark is still working very hard too. He is getting some great reports from his supervisors and really growing as a teacher. I’m so proud of him! It’s really tough not being able to see each other every day, like we’d got used to, but I still feel so close to him, thanks to our excellent communication.

I don’t know if it’s just because I’m so much older now than I was the last time I was in a serious relationship but I just feel so much more secure this time around. I have no doubts that what we have is real, ever-lasting love and that we genuinely are best friends. I used to think that forced distance between us might be a trigger for my anxiety and paranoia to kick in but something about this has really prevented that from happening. If you’re in a relationship like this, please hold on to it. If you’re not but you’d like to be, I promise that these kinds of connections really do exist and that it will happen for you one day!

Although I have been very busy, I’ve found time (as always) to read some amazing books this month too. There’s a great mixture in this post that I think you’ll enjoy through the winter. Hope you’re all doing well and I’ll talk to you again soon! -Love, Alex x

FICTION: Lizzie Blake’s Best Mistake by Mazey Eddings.

Lizzie’s ADHD has caused her to make plenty of mistakes in her time, so she has learned to keep men at a distance and not let anyone get too close. Rake was burned horribly by his last relationship and is reluctant to get into anything serious ever again. When Lizzie and Rake meet in a Philadelphia bar one night, things get steamy and although there’s a great connection, they both know that it can only be a one time thing. So when Lizzie calls Rake with some big unexpected news, they both realise that their lives will never be the same again. This cute rom-com manages to be light-hearted while tackling some very serious issues and tricky family dynamics. I really enjoyed the ADHD representation because it showed how it affects Lizzie’s daily life and the struggles that many people with the condition suffer from. After the bombshell is dropped, it is quite a predictable story but this made it a lovely easy read. It’s ultimately about accepting who you are and focusing on the people who love the real version of you. Sweet, sexy and funny, Lizzie Blake is a character I won’t forget easily.

NON-FICTION: Trans Sex: A Guide for Adults by Kelvin Sparks.

Kelvin Sparks is a popular sex blogger who takes us through the ins and outs (literally!) of navigating sex and surgery as a transgender person. Exploring desire, arousal, pleasure, kink, dysphoria, consent and more, it’s a one-stop-shop for all your trans sex educational needs. As a cisgender woman, I found it very insightful and I learned so much about what transgender people go through when they have surgery and their sexual experiences. These topics are all dealt with very sensitively and plenty of myths are busted. It’s a highly useful resource for gender non-conforming people and even for cisgender readers, it’s very educational!

MIDDLE-GRADE: The Red Red Dragon by Lynne Reid Banks.

Red is a dragon who lives with his Mag and Dag. He knows that Uprights are his enemies, which is why he’s confused when the first one he meets, Lou seems to be kind and funny. Red begins to realise that perhaps dragons and Uprights don’t need to be at war and that perhaps he can reunite the two creatures. This funny quirky dragon story is about kindness and accepting difference. There are some beautiful illustrations and the world building was really lovely. There is also some commentary on global warming with a possible glimpse into our future, which acts as a warning to do all we can for the planet. The power of books is another motif that brought the whole world together. It was a really lovely, powerful middle-grade story that I’d recommend to all young readers.

YA: Friends Like These by Jennifer Lynn Alvarez.

Despite their falling out years ago, Jessica is dragged to Tegan Sheffield’s end of summer party by her boyfriend Jake. But a viral video event at the party leaves Jessica in tears, Tegan missing and Jake in disgrace. Then a body is found at the beach and suddenly Jessica and Jake are at the centre of the story as the media and the police close in. What really happened that night? This was a truly pulse-racing thriller with suspicion and toxic friendships everywhere. I was thoroughly gripped and intrigued by the mystery because I really didn’t trust anyone involved. The stakes were very high and I think that’s what kept the pages turning because the characters were all thoroughly unlikeable. Covered in secrets and lies, it’s a pretty twisty ride!

THRILLER: The Ghost Woods by C. J. Cooke.

Lichen Hall stands hidden in the woods and for years, it has been a place for unmarried mothers to give birth. Pearl Gorham arrives there in 1965 and she is sure that something very strange is happening. There appears to be a young woman and her son living in the grounds but no one wants to talk about them. As the truth begins to creep through the walls, the inhabitants of Lichen Hall will have to make some sickening decisions and uncover the past before it��s too late for everyone. There are some strong Gothic vibes surrounding this mystery and the multi-layered plot is highly unique. The characters are very easy to root for because there is plenty of insight into 1960s attitudes towards unmarried pregnant women and homosexuality. I loved the dark folkloric atmosphere and I couldn’t wait to find out what was really in the woods. It does get very strange and gruesome towards the end but if you love dark, chilling reads, it’s a definite winner for you!

#november books #book recommendations #recommendations #books #bookworm

[wahlpaper]

Weather Girl Review

Weather Girl by Rachel Lynn Solomon

CW: Struggles with Depression, Past Teen Pregnancy, Past Abandonment by Parent, Heavy Drinking, Serious Injury, Reconciling with a Parent, Described Sex, Divorce, Unprofessional Bosses, Body Insecurity, Property Damage, Public Proposal

4.5/5

I love reading books by Rachel Lynn Solomon, so Weather Girl was destined to be a hit with me. A Jewish romantic comedy is always something I'm ready for. Throw in some weather puns, some attention to mental health, and a plus sized love interest - that's even better! The audiobook format truly enhanced the experience with this book. This romance was absolutely worth my time!

In Weather Girl, Ari Abrams and Russell Barringer, weather and sports reports respectively, scheme to get their bosses back together. The news station that they work for may be successful, but it is not smooth sailing internally. Their bosses have been divorced for a while and cannot stand each other, but Ari and Russell believe that there's still a spark. More importantly, if the ex-couple can work things out, the station will benefit. Along the way, Ari and Russell discover feelings for each other. Russell is nervous about letting Ari into his daughter's life and Ari is nervous about letting Russell know about her depression. They'll have to let their walls down if they want things to work.

The copy I had of Weather Girl came with a forward from Solomon. In it she discussed how personal it was to write Ari as having depression. Ari's relationship with mental health was written from someone who has experience with depression and wanted to see this in a romance novel. I have anxiety and I'm autistic, but I believe I'm in a place to confirm that the depression was written well. My only complaint about this topic is that Solomon categorized depression under neurodiversity during the forward. Technically, because she used "neurodiverse" instead of "neurodivergent", it works, but I don't believe this is what she meant, given the context. Neurodiversity covers every way a brain can be, including the neurotypical brain, but depression does not fall under neurodivergence. If you would like to know more about this, please reach out to me on here or social media.

While this book is like many romcom books I have read, I did find myself falling asleep during one of the sex scenes (can you blame an ace girl?). There were some things I found refreshing though. One thing was Russell. He is a single dad, aged 29, and he's plus sized. He has a good relationship with his ex and he loves his daughter a lot. Russell is a very enjoyable love interest for Ari. Another one was Alex, Ari's brother. He is gay, which I've seen many authors slip in to check a box, but he feels like a natural character and has a sweet, detailed relationship with his husband. The final element was the pace of the book. The story took over a year for the characters without dragging or causing me to lose track of how much time had passed. It had been a while since I read a book that included that much time. More books could benefit from giving their characters breathing room.

As I mentioned above, this audiobook was particularly good! Sarah Mollo-Christensen generally has a great voice and I've enjoyed listening to her in other books, but Weather Girl was extra-special. Given that this is a Jewish story that takes place over a longer period of time, more religious experiences were included than there's normally time for. One is a Shabbat dinner at Ari's mother's house. The blessing over the candles is not spoken, but chanted. I loved that Mollo-Christensen sang the prayer instead of just reading it out. It meant a lot to me to hear the proper tune and know that non-Jews would hear it too.

If learning more about meteorology through the eyes of a Jewish woman on antidepressants appeals to you, Weather Girl should be your next read! It has great representation, comedic twists, more than one romantic tale, and lots of information about Seattle. Give it a go and you might just fall for Ari and Russell's romance!

#bookblogger #book blog #jewish books #rom com books #ace blog #rachel lynn solomon #jewish holidays #weather girl #office romance #matchmaking #depressed mc #jewish mc #jewish love interest #seattle

[formulazero]

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME

#orignal #7.8 puebla #I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY #ARE YOU SERIOUS ALEX LYNN??????? #LEAVE MY FUXKINF MAN ALONE

[covertblizzard]

Info-dumping my list of JayKyle short story ideas because I might never get around to them and I mean even if I do, it’s fine to have multiple similar fics anyway so...

Jason comparing himself to women who had their husbands away at war in the past and could not contact them, no way of knowing if or when they will return, or if they would be hurt (this fits so well because Kyle is away lantern-ing and Jason would have read those stories and be like, that is me, woe is me). Bonus if they write dramatic “wartime” letters to each other (Kyle’s with a whole bunch of doodles of the pretty things he sees in space that he thinks Jason would like)

I know canonically Jason came back to life because of Superboy’s punch or whatever, but have you considered... alternate universe where Jason and Kyle are boyfriends, Kyle is a White Lantern, Jason dies and in Kyle’s shock, fear, and desperation to bring Jason back to life, he reawakens Jason’s across the multiverse.

Jason and Steph making jokes about Batman adopting Kyle, but Kyle thinks they’re serious and he’s freaking out because then he will lose his chance with Jason, so the next time he meets Batman he just yells “YOU CAN’T ADOPT ME, I HAVE GREEN EYES” and Batman’s just like “Hn”

Wallykyle fake dating to make Dick and Jason respectively jealous

Batman manipulates certain situations to make JayKyle happens, but then Jason finds out and at first he wants to dump Kyle because HELLO HE IS NOT GOING ALONG WITH HIS DAD’S STUPID PLAN, but then he couldn’t so now he is agonising over Batman having “tricked” Kyle into liking him and maybe Kyle doesn’t even like him and has just been manipulated. Kyle doesn’t know what’s going on. (Maybe it’s funnier if Kyle is planning to propose and Jason doesn’t notice solely because he is busy having a crisis, idk)

Dick’s POV where he is working with Kyle (maybe with the Titans, maybe with just Donna, maybe just him and Kyle) and Jason keeps popping out of nowhere for a while, and he realised Jason was being a helicopter boyfriend while Kyle’s on Earth because he is worried and because he CAN

A Titans gathering where Jason keeps looking at the door when someone enters as though waiting for someone, then perks up when Kyle enters, and Dick is like HMMM? (And Donna is like... you don’t already know?? Maybe even Wally and Roy know and Dick is like... why am I the last to know??? This can be used for either pre-relationship crushing stage, or relationship stage really, just make it work idc)

Jason being afraid of Kyle meeting the family because they’ll either say bad things about him or they’ll give him the shovel talk, both he worries might chase Kyle away

Jason picking up photography because he thinks Kyle likes photographers (Alex, Donna, Jennie-Lynn... it’s a real trend)

#jaykyle #jason todd #kyle rayner #mypost #dc thoughts #i was a bit apprehensive about posting this at first #but i figured why not #they are fun ideas i think i would love to see them #this isn't even all of my ideas #just the ones i think can be fit into a one-shot #when i do start writing jaykyle... it will probably be none of this because i have that housemates au i want to write :( #and the college au #and the maura moves to gotham au #and the team terra au

[hyperfixationspam]

tma voice actors rated on how well they would play the character in live action

Jonathan Sims as The Archivist: 3/10. He just doesnt look pathetic enough. Its the poor little meow meow factor. He gets some points for looking like he might be just a little bit insane tho. Also, fun fact, when I started the podcast I was having trouble picturing Jon so I looked at a picture of Jonny and immediately went "...no. he doesnt look like that"

Alexander J Newall as Martin Blackwood: 0/10. Alex is an evil little man and you can tell by looking at him. Even without the suit, there's malice in those eyes. He is neither gentle nor a giant. Just an all around unpleasant experience, not a Martin!!

Alexander J Newall as Jared Hopworth: -10000/10. No explanation needed

Mike LeBeau as Tim Stoker: 9/10. Im pretty sure he is actually s1 Tim. He's very charming and good looking and just generally has the right personality. Season 3 is harder but I bet he has the range physically too!

Lottie Broomhall as Sasha James: 7/10. She looks very sweet and nerdy! Shed be a good fit. Not like shes around for long anyway...

Evelyn Hewett as Not-Sasha: 5/10. She also looks very sweet!!! Which is the problem!!! I dont think shes creepy enough... but that might actually make it more creepy?? Idk man, take a half rating

Ben Meredith as Elias Bouchard/Jonah Magnus: 4/10. Hes just not scary! Not to mention too young. However he gets points because it would be absolutely hilarious

Lydia Nicholas as Melanie King: 8/10. Something in their face just says "Im a nice person but I could kill you if I wanted to." I think she would really pull off the woman slowly losing her mind look

Hannah Brankin as Jane Prentiss: 7/10. I mean. Shes gonna be covered in worms anyway. Anyone will look terrifying with good enough sfx

Hannah Brankin as Rosie Zampano: 4/10. She looks very sweet but I feel like Rosie has this very specific vibe of well concealed yet visible rage that Hannah just doesnt have. Plus I imagine her being a bit older

Frank Voss as Basira Hussain: 5/10. Theyre too sweet! Basira is very serious and I just dont think I could be intimidated by Frank. They could definitely do the more emotional moments but they just dont look like they would hold someone at gunpoint!

Imogen Harris as Helen Richardson: 4/10. Similar situation to Not-Sasha. She doesnt look unhinged at all but the lack of unhinged energy might actually be creepier? -1 point for not having ringlets. Idk why I just cant imagine Helen without ringlets

Luke Booys as Michael Shelley: 15/10. Just put a wig on him and tip to toe that is a Michael! He has the perfect energy. Theres just something in those eyes that says "I have seen madness beyond your comprehension and I have become a part of that madness." I think hes an avatar of the Spiral irl based solely on his face. He doesnt even fit the canon description but hes just so perfect you cant cast anyone else

Fay Roberts as Daisy Tonner: 10/10. Ze looks very graceful and gentle yet also like ze can and will kill you which is the exact energy I get from Daisy. And their hair is so perfect for her too!! Like yeah thats Daisy!!

Carrie Cohen as Mary Keay: 10/10. Shes got the unhinged old woman energy down to a SCIENCE!! She is TERRIFYING!! Good for her!!

Sasha Sienna as Georgie Barker: 6/10. He looks very sweet, very strong cat mom energy but the problem is they just look too innocent. No offense but I just dont see death in her eyes

Guy Kelly as Mike Crew: 8/10. He looks pretty much exactly how I imagined Mike but I dont think hes tiny enough. Hes gotta be a real short king

Jessica Law as Nikola Orsinov: 11/10. Youre not allowed to cast anyone else!! Shes perfect!! Like Nikola doesnt even have a face but if she did thats what it would look like. There is a reason she gets typecast as a sentient human shaped object and its because she slays it both vocally and physically!!

Lowri Ann Davies as Lynne Hammond/Celia: 8/10. Im just enjoying imagining her in a cult

Francesca Renee Reid as Julia Montauk: 10/10. My only justification for this is that I am gay for both of them

Ian Hayles as Trevor Herbert: 8/10. Needs a little more chaotic bastard energy but nothing a little makeup cant help. Give him a more fucked up beard and put some dirt and blood on him. Thats Trevor!

Jon Gracey as Gerard Keay: 2/10. Hes Not Even Goth. Like I know you could just dress him up goth but its just not the same! We need an authentic goth actor for accurate goth representation! Points for being a weird nerd tho

Alasdair Stuart as Peter Lukas: 7/10. Alasdair is way too wholesome for Peter and I dont think I could be intimidated by him or see him as pathetic. HOWEVER I am giving him a bunch of extra points because I simply thinks he deserves to play Peter in live action. Alasdair is the OG Peter kinnie and who am I to deny him that right?

Russell A. Smith as Oliver Banks: 9/10. He looks so nice and handsome! Yet also a little depressed at the same time! Give him some dark circles under his eyes, and yep, he's Oliver!

Helen Gould as Laverne: 10/10. Theyre such a comforting presence. She could totally be a therapist. I would tell him all of my problems

Layla Mannings as Manuela Dominguez: 5/10. Shes too adorable! She doesnt look like someone who would try to extinguish the sun!

John Henry Falle as Arthur Nolan: 2/10. He definitely looks insane but not in a landlord kinda way ya know? He looks like he would commit arson but not like he would be a class traitor

Karim Kronfli as Simon Fairchild: 0/10. Hes like 50 tops. Simon is like 500 and appears 100. We need a man whos fucking decaying

Richard Soames as Eric Delano: 1/10. This Dude Is Like Thirty

Chioma Nwalioba as Annabelle Cane: 9/10. Shes adorable!! And I think Annabelle is adorable too!! She would look great in some vintage clothes. I would tell her all of my secrets I dont care if she would use them against me <3 I cant imagine her as a giant spider tho but Im sure she has the range

Ray Chong Nee as Mikaele Salesa: 10/10. He really does look like he would sell people cursed shit, he just has that eccentric vibe. Seems like hes a big dude too. Definitely the kind of guy to dramatically play the piano to reveal he was alive all along

Mabel Syrup as Dr. Jane Doe: 10/10. Looked at her instagram for ten seconds and nearly went insane. My brain cant process any of this. Thats the kind of vibes we need. Good for her

Anil Godigamuwe as Arun: 10/10. I literally just imagined him as Anil the entire time. I cant separate the actor from the character

Tim Ledsam as Jordan Kennedy: 10/10 but only if he wears the Gunpowder Tim getup and this is never addressed

#tma #the magnus archives #tma spoilers #long post #tma shitpost

[amelmajrii]

Listen to me. The issue wasn't that they asked her about Taylor Swift. They asked 4 freaking questions about that singer and then when people are getting annoyed, they’ll throw the ‘we treat them as humans’ and ‘we are good at our jobs.’ First of all, we’ve all seen the difference in treatment that you give to the white players and the black players. We have all seen your opinions, rather biased ones when you praise and criticize them. You didn't give Alex Morgan the same treatment as you gave for example Sydney Leroux on her comeback. 

Secondly, you have the privilege and are in position to be doing a job which still in development especially when woso is concerned. We are not asking for you to constantly ask them questions on serious topics. However, the only serious question today was how she’s feeling coming back from covid. And i saw how all of the journalists were excited with her response to Taylor Swift but failed to point the carelessness around covid and rather preferring to celebrate christmas with more that 6 people. 

There are so many serious issues the woso world is facing right now and racism is one of them. The journalists are in a position to ask them about that but they don’t. As far as i remember, no one shied away from the equal pay discourse. The fact is everyone talks about how white privilege exists and they should fight for it but then fail to have the opinions of white people on how they are working to do better. These are the same journalists who've asked Crystal Dunn, Lynn Williams and 20 year old Sophia Smith to talk about the BLM movement.

Woso journalists need to check their priorities and learn how to accept criticism.

[notoriousjae]

Feel It All Around || Chenrich Fic (6/?)

Chapter Title: My Heart

Pairing: Alex Chen/Steph Gingrich

Rating: M

Fic Description:

Steph falls in love. To her amazement (despite an embarrassing number of successful roll-checks of the d20 in the studio)…so does Alex.

Chapter Description:

“You know you’re not the only one who has the trademark on hurting people you care about, right?”

Chapter 1 | AO3 | Tumblr |

Chapter 2 | AO3 | Tumblr |

Chapter 3 | AO3 | Tumblr |

Chapter 4 | AO3 | Tumblr |

Chapter 5 | AO3 | Tumblr |

Chapter 6 (Current) | AO3 | Tumblr (Below):

Steph is…more person than I think I’ve ever felt, before.

She’s nothing like the poster that used to hang on the back of Dr. Lynn’s office. This carefully organized, clinical depiction of feelings.

I thought colors were always so simple. That what people felt was dynamic, but focused—singular. Overwhelming. I never knew how…subtle emotions could be. That colors don’t just fit into a carefully organized box, or a clinical classification or diagnosis.

No one is just happy. No one is just sad.

No one is just one anything.

Steph is all of them, sometimes, and I wonder how I never saw it, before.

I wonder…how much of that is knowing her.

“You have a superpower?” Slackened fingers hang from the edge of the scratched wood of a familiar bar chair, the way she’s dipping down showcasing a careless ease that stiffens for only a moment, shoulders curling tight like a taut bowstring. And then, a quiet laugh. A spreading smile. Almost a psh like a rattling cymbal at the end of a drum kit from her own lips, because there’s nothing else but emptiness in her lungs. “You’re both fucking with me, right?” 

Alex’s head dips only enough for hair to cascade in front of eyes and Steph’s back straightens.

“Do Ryan and I look like the fucking with you type? It’s all true.”

Fingers slacken.

Alex has superpowers and Steph immediately believes her. 

It’s the sort of thing that makes no sense. She doesn’t know why—she laughs—tries to rationalize it away—but the moment Alex says it, she believes her.

It’s stupid, right? The moment Alex says it, Steph just—

Just—

“Fine, then tell me what I’m feeling right now.”

The curve of Steph’s back slouches over the chair, the soft afternoon of the bar creating the sort of ambiance din that coffee shop youtube streamers love to take soundbites of and play for three hours straight, idle conversations lost beneath the serious weight of Alex’s nervous, steady eyes, and Ryan’s calm smile.

“You’re feeling disbelief,” Ryan twiddles fingers in the air—

But Steph barely spares him a glance, fingers flexing and curling and flexing again in the air so that they don’t stay so stiff—so that they don’t nervously bounce like a drum beat against wood—before they settle once more, watching Alex.

Just Alex. Who takes in a swell of breath through parted lips and tips barely to the side as her eyelashes flutter closed, listening like Ryan looking out for a particularly rare bird in the forest. Nails curl into biceps like she’s drawing the very energy from the ground up into flexing muscles and her lips part. Her brows knit.

The guitar trembling from the jukebox fades. Duckie’s story around the corner about the time he did a civil war reenactment on a showboat fades. The din and the gin and the world just fades away…to Steph watching Alex listen to nothing but the air.

And Steph’s stiffer than a set of sticks left out in the snow, chest tight.

“You’re…” A wistful, quiet laugh—the same noise her mom used to make when she looked around the entire house for her glasses before realizing they were on her nose the entire time. Like she’s found something that’s been there all along, just out of sight—out of mind—but always in reach. Like Steph’s is Alex’s glasses on the edge of her nose. “Actually a little annoyed.” Alex smiles, a little, like she’s got the whole world pegged in a few sentences and Steph swallows, dusty and dry— “You feel hurt that we didn’t tell you until now. Whether it’s true or not, you don’t like being left out.” 

She says it so plainly. So factually.

Steph feels like one of those kitschy tourist trap telescopes they put on the edge of the Seattle harbor, rusted but somehow still too loose, heavy edge flopping its overweighted top over every time a kid scrambles over to look across the cold, frigid waters towards the boats on the river, no spine left to keep it upright from years of voyeuristic abuse. Her bones rattle like a coin’s rolled down her very spine and her eyes flick up like a sharp snap of that cold telescope towards Ryan—towards Alex—before they finally downcast.

“Well…” Brows knit—lips part—and Steph wonders why her throat feels like sandpaper when she finally makes her way back up to Alex, again. “…okay.”

What else is there to say?

Because…really? The crazy idea that Alex has superpowers makes a lot of shit make sense. 

Steph always used to laugh anytime Ethan gave her some weekly comic about a superhero whose best friends were utterly oblivious to the people they spent all their time with being heroes but…in reality? Why the hell would anyone logically wake up one morning and think, ‘Oh, the girl who I saw spit milk out of her nose while watching cartoons when she was high obviously has the capacity to read other people’s emotions’?

It’s not a logical leap. It doesn’t even cross the mind—

“How much am I going to regret existing tomorrow?” Alex’s giggling laughter is muffled by the thin veil of a paper towel Steph has so graciously nabbed her from the kitchen, leaning over the couch to watch Alex stare up at the small little television from the floor. At least her legs are on the ground, now. Kind of progress. The milk soaks through its white scratch.

“Dude, you’re probably not even going to remember tomorrow.” It’s an honest reply and Alex just beams up at her before she snorts through her nose, again, this time milk-free. It’s probably a little telling that Steph finds it kind of cute.

Noticing Alex was freakishly observant? Okay.

“Alex, okay, seriously what are you—” Steph grunts, shifting from behind the car where she’s been dutifully propping up the torch on her phone to shine into the murky street below, sunlight above eclipsed by the rust on the car’s frame. The light hovers above the drain and the gutter (both of which are about as clean as the grease trap in the Lantern) and eyes squint at the barely-visible, totally scrambling profile of Alex’s face, concentration incarnate. Digging like a really cute Indiana Jones through the muck and something glints beneath her palm— “…are those someone’s keys? How the hell did you even—”

Sure enough, Alex pops up from behind the gutter with a dangling set of twinkling keys, an ecstatic dude immediately materializing at the noise like some Pavlovian experiment in the wild, rushing over from around the corner.

Elated. Ecstatic. Overwhelmed.

Steph hadn’t even noticed him when Alex halted mid-conversation with an apology and started digging around behind the rust bucket parked on the side of the street.

“My keys!”

Noticing Alex…also picked up on other people’s emotions? Definitely.

“You’re sure you’re okay, Steph?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, not to pry, but if you ever need to talk—”

Noticing a million other things—

The feeling of Alex’s nose brushing along her shoulder—her neck—the faintest whisper of a smile that probably wouldn’t stay particularly long in the sun hidden in the shadow of Steph’s neck.

Yeah, cuddling definitely wasn’t so bad—

A million small clues—suddenly, with knowledge and possibility of actuality to fill in the blanks—

“How about a quick match?”

Feet turn along creaking wood, hearing Alex come into focus like the twining upkick of a long note on the bass. Unexpected and perfectly inbeat. Most people don’t pick up on the bass in a song, but they’d miss it, if it was gone—

“Did Gabe tell you we played?”

“Oh, yeah. He also told me he kicked your ass.”

“Asshole.” A strangled, distracted laugh that threatens to suffocate the thin bobbing fabric of her neck, shaking her head—turning away, because the last thing Alex needs is for Steph to load this on her after that shit-show downstairs. But there’s something selfish, too. This unbearable weight. This emptying pit deep in her chest—this crawling coldness that frosts from her chest to her shoulders to her curling fingertips— “I don’t think now’s a good time.”

Alex pushes. Steph doesn’t know her well enough to know the difference, the sound of that rattling little foosball handle whirling in the afternoon sun that feels so cold outside, even when it isn’t.

A huff through nostrils. The words eat away, just a little at her. The challenge. The distraction. Just a minute. Just a minute. She can fake it, right?

And she can totally kick Alex’s ass.

It all just—

“Fine.”

Alex’s smile is soft. Steph doesn’t know her well enough to know the difference about that, either.

—makes sense.

“Oh shit.” The chair squeaks as Steph leans back into its familiar weight, laugh caught on the edge of that tight, dry throat, “The foosball game! You knew exactly what to do.” 

“You needed to focus on the positive memories, not get lost in the sadness.” A nod. A quiet, nervous laugh. An explanation: “I thought it would help.”

The feeling of fingertips sliding warmth down ears, the storm rattling outside, steady and there. Alex is always so steady and there, eyes clear in the murky haze of the night, constant and calm and caring—

Alex looks up at her through her eyelashes and Steph reminds herself it’s not the weirdest thing she’s ever heard about a person. Actually, it’s not even in the top ten for oddest claims. Living on the road in a ratty old makeshift tour bus (that was actually just a van bought off of craigslist and littered in enough stickers to make it aerodynamic) sort of amps up the median for weird behavior from the average person met in the world.

“It did.”

Steph, in this second—this actual moment—tells herself a lot of things and tries to think about none of them.

Does Alex know her well enough, now, to know the difference in the smile that softly tucks up the edges of Steph’s lips? Can Alex…feel her, even now? Or is the rest of the world still too loud—is all of what composes Steph practically a bird of a noise fluttering away in the trees to a woman who’s spent too long honing her ear to the empty sound a drummer’s chest makes? Is the tightening ache of Steph’s chest like a bird call lost beneath the wind?

Maybe she’d be more comfortable, that way, if Alex couldn’t hear her, at all. If Steph just disappeared into the background din that feels so far away, now. Maybe it doesn’t matter.

Maybe…this is a lot to wonder about this early in the day.

Steph won’t understand the full nature of what she readily accepts for months—for years—but she’ll learn loving someone is accepting every inch of them—that you never fully learn someone until you’ve loved every inch of them you thought you’d hate.

She’s not in love, today, but she’s brushing her feet along the waters of it. She’s looking down into a pond she’s absolutely aware she’s about to be pushed into.

By the time she understands anything at all, Steph will learn she’s fallen in love with Alex a thousand times over and cracked her rib cage open against reckless palms a thousand more than that.

Today she just smiles in a way she’s not certain Alex understands even when she thinks she might.

Today, she thinks it makes a lot of sense that Alex can pick up on things others can’t. That Alex is more extraordinarily different than anyone she’s ever met, before.

Today, another piece of a puzzle she’d thought she’d solved but isn’t even close just slots into place.

“Just…warn me next time, okay?”

The relief in the air is palpable from the bartender’s side of this scratched wood top but kind of…tentative—like how Alex reaches across distances towards them, sometimes--and Steph’s hand curls on the chair.

“Deal."

“Never thought I’d have a freaky empath friend. Pretty wild.”

This is the closest Steph’s pretty sure she’s gotten to making Alex actually blush, at all, and her knuckles rap against the bar, just along the edge.

Ryan changes the subject and it’s not long until Alex moves on to go finish up her shift and it’s enough of a reminder that both Ryan and Steph have bigger fish to fry, anyways.

Namely the woman who is probably responsible for their best friend’s death whose heels click through the door not even a full jukebox track later. She barely gets a chance to even start asking Ryan about Alex’s empathic mic-drop before they have to come up with a plan.

(Her plan’s killer, by the way).

Because that’s the thing about life. It just keeps moving. It doesn’t wait—it never waits. It keeps moving faster than Steph can keep up with it, sometimes—it moves so quickly that she goes with it, because she always goes with it. Moves with it because there’s no choice not to. It moves and moves—

Right onto Alex calling her a hotter distraction than Ryan.

(Fuck yes.)

So she flirts and she’s pretty close to sealing the deal (not important, but good for the ego) and it’s not until they’re both upstairs laughing that she lingers because she has to go back to work and Ryan has got to finish whittling and Alex…

Soon it’s just them in the apartment and when the sun dances over fingers that shift glasses, Steph looks up to see Alex smiling at her and Steph…smiles back.

She knows Alex’s different smiles, now—can pick them out like deep drops on an obscure EP playing on the radio—and this one…is new.

Amazingly, Steph’s smile doesn’t falter as she shifts on the touch to fully look at her. Doesn’t worry if there’s anything in her hair, this time. Doesn’t wonder why Alex is looking at her like this, at all, not today.

All Steph wonders if Alex knows the difference in Steph’s smiles, now, too, and life just moved on too quickly for her to pick up on when the change happened, at all.

I’m starting to realize that just because I know what someone’s feeling, it doesn’t mean I know them. Not really.

I always knew that what I expect to happen isn’t always what’s going to—I’ve learned that lesson the hard way more than…I really want to remember. But I’m starting to realize that there’s just…a lot more to a person than what they’re feeling.

There’s so much behind those feelings that I only get a snapshot of, like a faded polaroid hanging on someone’s fridge. They’re this small little piece out of thousands of other memories I haven’t seen and can’t reach. I do see into people—I can see their souls and their wants and their desires—but only a moment of them. Only this fraction. Only this small little piece.

I don’t think I’ve ever known people from anything more than snapshots of the things they didn’t want anyone to see. I used to think it was because it was because I didn’t have a chance. Now?

I don’t know.

I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone fully, at all.

The wind rustles through a cracked window, curtain fluttering in the soft Spring breeze, the sound of Ryan talking right outside of the door disappearing into descending footsteps and the clicking of an apartment door, tucking them away from the rest of Haven not so far away.

An apparently encrypted USB still dangles from the edge of a laptop littered with at least a dozen stickers she recognizes as having gifted Gabe. It’s like a dangling carrot at the end of a dungeon. Like someone just turned the final chest into a fucking mimic.

And now that the afternoon sun is easing away on her busy day of espionage and subterfuge (and clear sexual awakenings for Diane) all before noon, all Steph can think about is the literal thousand-bullet-point list she has in her apartment of minutia details to take care of for tomorrow.  

“You should let me help you with the LARP stuff, Steph.”

It’s a quiet offer to Steph’s right from where both of them are sprawled out on the floor, their legs tucked up on the couch cushions, laptop and desk slightly pushed to the side. Steph had claimed that this was where she did her best espionage thinking and, unsurprisingly, Alex had joined her on the floor with a look and a shrug.

She only had an hour before she had to go back to the store to do the afternoon DJ shift, and there wasn’t anywhere else she really wanted to be, before then.

Eyes flick over to take in the way Alex is…looking at her, now. Relaxed. Totally relaxed. Like a thousand burdens have gently released from Alex’s barely-healed fingertips up into the sky like a lit lantern, yellow bracing against pitch black clouds. Like even with all the shit with Typhon going on, maybe Alex feels…a little lighter, somehow.

Steph rolls over onto her side, arm tucking beneath her ear, legs curling back up on the floor. 

“No way, participants aren’t allowed into the inner sanctum. You’ll just have to leave the mystery and intrigue up to the NPCs, Alwynn. I can handle it.” Brows barely knit— “Which…is something I didn’t say anything about. Which means you did the mind-reading thing, again, didn’t you? The mind-reading thing which is…apparently more than just the textbook definition of empathy because the only emotion I’m feeling about the LARP is mild stress?” That’s not true—Steph feels a lot more about the LARP than even she knows how to decode—but it’s not exactly fiction, either, and from the way Alex winces Steph shifts up on the floor to look down at her.

(This at least cuts off Alex’s completely logically fallible argument that she has no idea what she’s doing, anyways, and isn’t going to remember any of it because that’s total bullshit and the GM in her so isn’t going to stand for any outside interference).

“Kind of?” After a long moment, Alex blinks beneath that thin layer of glass between them, teeth chewing on the edge of her lip. This sort of stillness falling over her cheeks—her chin—her lips. This tightness there that Steph wants to ease away with fingertips and—

(Holy fuck, she really hopes Alex can’t actually read minds. Not because Steph is scared of it, but because now is not the time—)

Alex’s voice is quiet and even and suddenly Steph feels every single inch of distance between them like a cavern.

“I can…hear you, sometimes. I’ve never told someone what I’ve heard them think, before, so I don’t know how accurate it is, but a lot of times I just…know things that I shouldn’t be able to know. It’s almost like I can…hear you, like for a moment you’re right—” Alex’s hand idly reaches up to rest over a yellow-plaid covered heart before she looks away and Steph swallows that sandpaper, again, eyebrows raising. But Alex seems to catch herself somewhere along the line from saying anything other than that—catch herself so swiftly, lips pressing tightly as her hand falls back down to her side, curled inwards and away from Steph. “Like I can hear what you’re thinking.”

“You…can actually hear what I’m thinking?”

“Not all the time. Just…sometimes. When you’re really feeling something, or if I listen hard enough. I used to have to really focus—to touch someone, or they had to be really worked up--but I’ve…I don’t know, I’ve gotten really good at picking up on you and Ryan, I guess. And…a few people in town I’ve been around, too. I don’t know why it’s getting easier with you guys, but it’s not all the time. I don’t even know if what I’m hearing is what you’re thinking but…I think it can be. Sometimes.” It’s a lot less elegant than Alex usually is when she speaks—like she’s never vocalized it, at all.

“Woah.” It’s a murmur, Steph wordlessly easing back down onto the floor. “That’s…a lot.”

“Tell me about it.”

“You said…” Steph’s tongue darts out over dry lips, searching the familiar dusty ceiling that houses a garden up above. “You feel it more when you touch someone.” It’s a murmur, arm draping over her stomach, idly running fingertips along the wood grain of a river between them as she thinks. 

“Yeah.” 

“Is that why you’re so careful about touching people?” 

Alex blinks, surprised, and Steph can feel her eyes on the high rise of her cheek, head slowly lolling on the floor to search familiar eyes, turning fully onto her side to scoot closer to her. Just a little. Just enough so that she can actually look at her. Alex doesn’t shift away. 

“I feel mildly called out.” Alex’s smile is slim, but she doesn’t deny it.

“That’s a yes.”

“I never really thought about it, but I guess it’s a yes.” Alex agrees.  

“So you can’t always hear me, but can you…feel what I’m feeling all the time?” 

Alex seems to think over the question like she’s tasting it on her tongue, eyes closing, “...kind of? It’s sort of like–this really muted sensation. Like background noise, I guess. Or like…walking into a room and there being a faint…perfume from someone that was there an hour earlier? If I focus on it–like if I really focus on you, I can always feel it, now, but…I try not to. It doesn’t—it feels like I’m violating something, if I press too much.” Alex’s eyes open, looking up towards that garden, too, but Steph watches the way she murmurs, “But if I do feel you, I always know it’s you.”

Steph doesn’t know what that even means, but it makes her stomach tighter. 

“So…it’s not intentionally.”

“Only recently. Only if I thought I could help.”

“Like…with the Foosball” 

“Right.” 

“So before then, it would just…”

“Before then, I could only feel really, really strong emotions. I mean, I could feel people’s energy—it would affect me, sometimes—but I couldn’t…it’s different. It’s stronger, when I feel someone’s emotions. And…usually I couldn’t help but feel them when they were bad. Bad emotions are always the strongest. They would take over me. Suddenly, it was all I could think–all I could feel–all I could taste–”

“Is that…what happened with Mac?” 

Alex’s eyes flick away. A long moment before she nods.

Steph shifts, hands flexing in the air by her hip as she leans over Alex, the hair that’s escaped a beanie dancing along her chin, eclipsing the sunlight from the nearby cracked window in shaded hues of blues along Alex’s eyes.

“That’s what happened that day with the fight in the street.” It’s a quiet realization, resisting the urge to lean down and run fingertips along the reddened ridges of knuckles, “…Alex. Come on, look at me. We don’t have to talk about it, I just think I…kind of get it, now.”

Alex finally looks back up at her, jaw rolling enough that Steph realizes she’s trying to keep herself composed. Trying to hold something back.  

“I was…scared I was going to hurt you. Like I did with Gabe. I hit him after that fight with Mac, you know. I’m the one that gave him the black eye.”

“I didn’t know.” Steph’s voice is so quiet, now, but so is Alex’s—so quiet that the sound of the wind might threaten to swallow it whole.

“That’s why I ran.”

“So that you wouldn’t…hurt me?” Steph tries to piece it together and just like that, it all slots, “Alex, you didn’t—”

“I could have.” Alex cuts off the sentence like she’s heard it before and for some reason, it ties Steph’s stomach into knots.

“You didn’t.” Steph sits up, voice serious as she shifts closer, reaching forward without nearly enough thought as her hands fall down to Alex’s, thumbs running along those puckered edges of skin, feeling hands stiffen but curl beneath her, clenching on. Holding tight.

Steph swallows.

“Steph—” 

“It didn’t ‘take over you’,” The recollection tastes like such a foreign concept on her tongue, “You controlled it. You helped them. You broke it up. You’re…are you learning how to control it? You’re talking about things like they’re kind of different now.”

All of Alex tightens up like a coil beneath Steph’s palms before, miraculously, fingers break free like vines and curve around the edges of the stone of knuckles that were never scarred like her own, not just holding on but holding, slotting fingers so easily into the empty spaces of Steph that it’s such a cliché that it feels so natural.

“...yeah. I think so. That’s how I helped Ethan. That’s how I’ve helped a lot of people, here. Eleanor—Riley—You—Ryan. I’m…I think I’m getting better at it, but I’m still—I’m still so scared of—"

“You know you’re not the only one who has the trademark on hurting people you care about, right?” It’s a blunt, knowing question, “My M.O. is to historically run away when people are trying to help, and lashing out to make them fall back. We all do shit that we work at being better at.” It’s not a thing she expected to tell her, today, but it’s the truth, nonetheless.  

(Then again, anything Steph’s told Alex wasn’t exactly something she planned for, it always just sort of comes out, so she’s gotten pretty good at running with the punches.)

Alex searches her eyes so thoroughly that Steph wonders what…emotion it is that Alex sees in her–what she knows of her, looking at her, like this. It’s a little unfair. 

It’s a little unsettling, being seen so thoroughly.

Steph’s not certain anyone’s ever known how to look hard enough to try.

“You haven’t pulled away from me.” 

“Yet.” It’s serious and quiet, lips pressing thin. Eyes flick down and settle on the hands she’d stolen before settling back on the eyes behind those thin frames of glass, “You…haven’t made me want to.” Teeth tuck away lips, trying to stay chill because now is totally not the time for Alex to know she–

Steph definitely—

Not the time. It’s never the time.

“I can’t promise I won’t.” Steph continues, because Alex…deserves to know, doesn’t she? After everything? “But I try not to. And you tried not to hurt me. And so far both of us? Pretty successful. And…if we’re not successful…I don’t know? We cross that bridge when we get to it.” 

“Just like that?” Alex shakes her head, smile small and hesitant. “Cross the bridge when we get to it.” A heavy, rattling breath as those stiff bones of Alex Chen sink a little into the floor, “Now who’s giving all the advice?”  

“Hey, I’m fantastic at advice. Radio show, remember?” A little more serious, “Friends should stick by through the hard stuff.” 

“Not to sound completely depressing but I’ve…never really had any that did.” But Alex, brave and quiet and sincere, doesn’t look away. “I don’t really know what it looks like.” 

“I’m not a very good example. But I’m pretty sure between Ryan and I, you’re stuck with finding out. You can’t get rid of us, now. We’re too dependent on the free drinks.” 

Alex smiles and it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. 

“What am I feeling now?” Steph asks when she lays back down and when Alex squeezes her hand, she realizes she never let go. 

“Maybe I’ll tell you later. Right now? I’m kind of just enjoying it.” 

“Yeah…okay.” Steph shifts just to make her back a little more comfortable on the floor, again, and stiffens only a little when she feels Alex hesitantly shift to rest her head on her shoulder, heart beat quick before both of them settle into the spaces that used to be between them.

“Steph?” Alex breathes into the thin fabric of a baseball tee like she’s absolutely determined not to look up and Steph fights down the ridiculous twittering swallows fluttering around in her stomach and smiles down at the crown of floor-messy hair and the tip of barely-visible, askew glasses that are buried into her, right now.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.” Alex tips her head upwards and offers a smile so small and quiet and genuine that the world shifts beneath Steph’s steady pulse—something shifts in her lungs and her back and her smile, quietly falling into something serious—something different—something new.

There’s this puzzle of Alex, whose cardboard cut-out image of possibilities has full shades of tone behind it, now, so real that Steph can no longer see the lines of the pieces that slotted her together in her mind in the first place—those lines of knuckles of red and smile of sunlight and heart of so many shades of color Steph’s never seen, before—all Steph can see is Alex. This woman whose spine is made of impenetrable oak that shapes into a door that Steph stands on the outside of, cracked. A sliver of light shining inside to the deepest places Steph has never seen—a sliver of light showing how endlessly vast a person can be in the slimmest sights she’s seen of her.

There’s so much more.

Alex, who Steph keeps thinking is someone Steph knows, but who she finds out each and every day is more complex and different than anything that’s ever existed in her world.

Here’s Alex, who feels what others feel and holds Steph in storms because of it; whose eyes had only been hidden in the thin fabric of Steph for a moment before looking up, not truly hiding, at all—fearless and brave and independent; who makes Steph feel…nervous and unsure and fantastic all at once, without doing anything, at all.

Alex, who Steph doesn’t want to leave behind to see the world…but feels like she would never truly leave, at all, for once. Maybe she’d find a way to stay in touch. Maybe she’d find a way to—

To—

Steph wonders how loud a dice would rattle against the floor next to their settling knees.

You thought you never told her. You thought she only knew because she knew you but you didn’t know how right you were.

You wonder how many times you’ve told her you’re falling in love with her and you wonder how little it matters. You leave and you keep her close to you like your father keeps a polaroid tucked away in his beaten wallet. You leave and you wish you’d asked her to leave with you, and you’ll spend your whole life missing the future you let yourself imagine in the deepest spaces of the night before you fall asleep.

A future where you’re not so scared of her knowing you, because you know she’s the only one you want to know you, at all.

Alex’s brows knit and her fingers tighten, only a little, on Steph’s hand, and that tight feeling is back in her chest, again, eclipsing and eclipsing until she lets out a quiet huff of a breath through parted lips.

She’ll find a way to stay in touch. Life will move on. It always moves on in thin sheets of ice, so many people buried beneath its surface.

Steph’s always been better at focusing on the now than the future, even when she’s planning it.    

Alex thanks her and Steph doesn’t have to ask why.

Instead, she just shakes her head and smiles.

“Your secret’s safe with me, Chen.”

In a rare display, Alex looks almost a little…nervous for the second time today when she offers, “You…don’t have to stay, Steph, I know that you have to get back to the station.”

“Yeah, I do. But…I can hang out here for a little bit longer, my alarm’s set. So…enjoy that feeling of mine, I guess? I still don’t really know how this works, but it sounds pretty awesome.”

“Yeah.” Alex settles her head back down and closes her eyes, glasses pressing into the soft part of Steph’s neck and after a moment Steph’s hand wraps up around her shoulder to lightly hold her close, Alex shifting closer. A smile softly curves along her neck—the soft breeze dances through the curtains by the window, underlining the soft puffs of Alex’s breath—that faint scent settles into her chest like a breath of fresh air—and life moves on around them, like it always does. “It’s pretty great.

People feel so much more than I’ve ever seen.

Seriously, I feel like I traded my glasses for a set of EnChroma lenses because somehow, now, when I look at everyone…I don’t just see this one, loud, overwhelming color, anymore. I’m starting to see…all of them. I’m starting to see the blue and the red in the orange and the yellow and blue in purple. I’m starting to see violet in shades of red and blue. I’m starting to see that there’s so much more beneath those heavy emotions on the surface.

I’ve never noticed that yellow can be like sunlight in someone’s eyes, curving around the green of them like the set of an expensive ring—this quiet happiness that’s there, that doesn’t burn as brightly. I’ve never noticed that sadness and joy can cling to people like…rain after a heavy storm. That fear can do that, too.

Colors compose people and constantly shift.

I’m starting to see people for more than just those snapshots of emotions I feel. It’s…amazing. It’s amazing how everyone’s so different. How subtle the red is when Ryan stubs his toe compared to the vibrant red when Steph does. How quietly the purple dances off of the vibrating drum of Diane’s nails along the edge of a bar table when she thinks no one is looking, perfectly calm and still whenever she notices someone does. This…purple that lingers on the shine of Jed’s shoulders that I don’t think I’ll ever understand that he wears like a raincoat in the snow, so thin I can barely even see it.

And I think…I’m like that, too, deep beneath the surface. I’m more like an impressionist painting of colors, a thousand dots blurred together to make…Me.

Just like everyone else.

The thought of feeling all of it—of recognizing it—it used…to be terrifying. It still kind of is.

The thought of someone knowing me well enough to pick out the way the yellow curves down my cheek when I hear a song I really like on the radio—or the way my blues mix with reds when I look up at the picture of a plaque on a dirty bar wall—of someone seeing the passion in my hands and the energy in my steps.

I don’t know what colors I’m made of, but I know what colors light up Steph when she walks. Most of them, anyways. I wonder how much more there are to see.

When I think about what colors I see, I always think of Steph. Maybe because she’s so expressive, but maybe…there’s something else there.

No, there’s definitely something else there.

I know what Steph’s colors look like, for the most part, even as I start to see more and more of them, everyday, filling out this…picture of her that’s full of gaps that I still don’t know how to read.

But what do those colors look like on me, to her? What does she see of me, if she doesn’t see colors?

“Okay, so…that only looks mildly complicated.” Steph notes from behind Riley’s shoulder, Ryan’s head bobbing, assessing with a total nod next to her.

“Oh, yeah, and only mildly…super illegal.”

“Getting second thoughts, Ryan?” Riley calls from her hunched position, darkness outside only causing a stark contrast from the blue light from her laptop, fingers moving way faster than Steph has seen anyone type. Even Mikey, and she’s pretty sure if there was an Olympics for typing, Mikey could be in it.

She can’t wait to take a video and send it to Mikey, just to let him know someone else would totally mop the floor with him.

“Pfft, no.” Ryan side-eyes Steph who shoves his shoulder. Mumbling, “…maybe.”

“Come on, it’s fine. Riley doesn’t even want to know what it is or where we got it from, not if it’ll help Gabe, right Riley?”

“Totally.” Riley immediately offers.

“And she’s going to crack it like the awesome tech-chick she is, right, Riley?”

“Totally.” Another swift series of key strokes before Riley finishes setting up…whatever it is she’s doing with the USB before turning back towards the both of them. It’s oddly reminiscent of those fake breaking in scenes in movies like Hackers, but Steph knows way too little about any of this to even hope at making a sly comment about it. “Although you guys do know this is definitely not admissible in a court, right?” Riley’s eyebrow hikes upwards and Steph and Ryan nervously look between each other to Riley to the USB. “Seriously…am I the only person who watches CSI?”

“Probably not since it’s been on for like…four decades? People have to watch it.” Steph shakes her head.

“I’m pretty sure that’s Law and Order.” Ryan scratches his beard. “Or maybe…what was the one with the Air Force—”

“Stargate?” Steph’s brows knit. “What does Stargate have to do with this?”

“What?” Ryan shakes his head. “Stargate was about…aliens?”

“She’s right, Stargate was Air Force. And I’m pretty sure you’re talking about NCIS, Ryan. But, no, like--” Riley offers with a vague gesture over her shoulder, “We’re getting…whatever you’re getting illegally. They can’t use that.”

“Yeah, but maybe if it’s incriminating enough, it’ll make people look.” Steph presses, looking between the two of them. “Look…Alex needs a lead. Like…any kind of lead, and we need to know what we’re dealing with. She’s pretty sure about…who’s mixed up in all of this, and I believe her.”

Ryan and Riley share a look but nod anyways.

“Yeah, I do too, Steph.” Ryan stuffs hands into pockets, that smile of his softening. Easy. Certain.

“Of course, Steph.” Riley immediately piggybacks. “Especially for Gabe, I just…wanted you guys to know.” It causes both of them to smile, grateful, and Riley shakes her head and shifts on her feet beneath it, blush highlighted by the computer, “Alright, I better get back to it.”

“You sure you don’t need help setting up for the festival?” Ryan double-checks.

“I’ll tell you guys tomorrow after the LARP. If I don’t drown in flowers before then.”

“Well, if you need anything, let us know, alright?” Steph is already backpedaling out of the shop, waving, not hearing the tail end of the conversation between the two as she steps back out into the cool night air, eyes flicking down towards a lone streetlight outside of a barely-lit apartment window, its blinds drawn. It’s not because she doesn’t want to help—Riley deserves a hand—but more because she has way too much to do, before tomorrow.

She waits for a couple of seconds until the door jingles, Ryan stepping next to her.

“So…you seriously knew our best friend was an empath this whole time?” Steph shoves her hands into pockets, too, curling, voice calm and casual but she knows Ryan’s got a lock on her the moment he looks over.

“I didn’t always know but…yeah. She told me. If it helps, I…was having a really bad day.” He says it with all the levity in the world but when she looks up at the way the shadows of the night catch in his eyes, Steph knows exactly how midnight black bad days can be. And wonders how much of herself Alex would give away to help him cope with it. Wonders, knowing Ryan, how much of himself he gave to her, back. And knows that she’ll never know, because she wasn’t there. “I don’t think she’s ever told anyone else, before.”

“Seriously?” Eyes flick back over towards the bar.

“Yeah.”

A breeze rips through the air, chin tipping upwards the watch the wind rustle down the street, dancing up clattering metal signs and street corner marking, the now-closed sign safe behind glass from the wind’s careless twirl in the record store across the cobbled path of a town Steph’s learned to call home.

There’s another sign ready to be plastered over that one in the morning for a LARP Gabe will never see and when she shifts on her feet, her shoulder brushes against Ryan’s bicep.

“It…kind of makes sense?” Her chin tips backwards—away from Ryan and the shop and the bar—to look up towards the cloudy sky. The rain’s passed, but the night air is still thick with the aftermath of it and it makes her fingers curl and her tongue dart out over lips and her laugh, just a little, catch in the back of her throat.

“I’m…sorry if you were hurt that we didn’t tell you—”

“I wasn’t hurt.” Steph cuts off. Sighs, one shoulder raising up and falling like a sack of bricks, “Yeah…okay. Maybe a little. But it’s…well, it’s not yours to tell, anyways, Ry. There’s nothing to be sorry about. Secrets like that—stuff that define us, whether we want it to or not? It’s not the kind of thing only we should ever tell people. It’s Alex’s story, she has a right to tell who she wants to. I…guess I’m just glad to be on the list?”

It’s an ingrained truth. Maybe it’s the queer kid from a small town in her. Maybe it’s the punk. Or maybe it’s the girl with so many secrets Ryan’s never known hidden in the wrinkled crevices of her cold hands. It doesn’t really matter.

Either way, she gets it.

It stings, but she gets it.

“Yeah.” Ryan looks at her like he isn’t so sure. “Well, the good news is maybe we’re a step closer to figuring out what happened to Gabe.”

“Yeah.” Steph looks back down towards the record shop, nodding. Serious, “Good.” Because it is. Gabe deserves more than what he got—but justice is a good start. “Alright, well, you’ve got some whittling to do.”

“I know, I know,” Ryan’s hands raise up in submission, backing towards his own street, “Let me know if you need any help?”

(Oh, Ryan’s definitely going to help. She’s not going to take any enjoyment in telling him just how much tomorrow morning—really. Like, none.)

“You know it.” She’s already across the street, hand flattening on the record shop door when she pauses. Bites her lip.

Valkyrie meows as she curves around Steph’s ankle, a tameless creature of the night, hips bouncing as she strolls down the cool cobblestone towards the lit window across the street. Steph unlocks the door just to replace the closed sign with the Magpie Emporium instructions before locking back up and going the opposite way towards her apartment, hesitating just for a moment as she watches Valkyrie dip into the shadows behind the Black Lantern.

She’s seriously still got a lot of shit to do…but there’s this lingering thought. This lingering taste of maybe in the back of her throat. This itch in her fingers for more than just music—more than just drums—more than just similarity and the things she knows.

Maybe there’s magic in the air tonight, after all, and the Mysterious Proprietor spends the whole night writing about it—about magic and faraway lands and Emperors who fall into the trenches of demons in a time of darkness—she writes until her fingers cramp and her back aches and even rolling her neck doesn’t fight the stiffness from hunching over for so long.

The window is cracked open, the heavy moisture of long-fallen rain clinging to the night.

Maybe if Steph can imagine it hard enough, she can pretend she tastes magic in the thickness of it.

Maybe then it’s easier to imagine her familiar in her place, perched in another open window across the street, moonlight highlighting the darkest parts of her fur, tail slinking in a lazy bat from one side to the next.

The thoughts we never want to think are always the ones that find us when the air is thickest with something like magic, sleep so close to sagging shoulders and sighing lips.

So Steph will wonder, crawling into bed and staring up at the cloudy moon, eyes heavy and bones weary—she’ll wonder it, for the first time, the thought sinking into her bones like sand sliding through the thinnest tube of an hourglass—

Can a bard sense the magic in the air and pull it into her fingertips along the steel-woven tines of a guitar? Can a bard tame the music of a witch? If she could…would Steph let her pass the roll-check?

Can Alex sense her, now?

Now that there’s no bar full of people between them—no quiet youtube coffee shop din or other emotions or places or things—now that there’s nothing but an empty streetlight and rain that was so thick even the air couldn’t shake it—now that there’s an empty space where people used to be in apartments once owned by people other than them—now that there’s nothing, at all…will Alex look up towards Valkyrie perched on her window sill and feel Steph wish that she was there, instead?

Can Alex hear the small little swallow in Steph’s chest, twittering like a lost bird in the rain, aching for a reason to stay?

Does Alex know? Does Alex…know?

Steph swallows. Her fingers curl into the pillow as they tremble, just a little, before her brows knit.

And then ease.

Life moves on so quickly and it takes her with it to a dream she won’t remember, sheet half curled along her thigh and bed empty beside her.

When she wakes up, she doesn’t remember anything but the hazy thought of kissing Alex on the scratched surface of a floor that belongs to neither of them and looks towards the window where Valkyrie sits, soundly sleeping beneath the soft sunshine of morning.

I’ve never been…very good with my own emotions, I guess. The girl who’s been in therapy for the majority of my life thinks that’s because my whole life I’ve been told I’m not feeling anything enough while simultaneously being told I should only ever feeling one thing at a time. But the truth is?

Maybe I’m feeling all of those emotions. All the time.

I look at Steph and I feel what she feels and…it scares me.

In kind of a good way, I think?

I look at Steph and I’m…everything at once. I’m…angry about Gabe and angry he left, again. I’m sad for what I’ll never know and I’m scared of Steph and I’m happy to see all of the colors that compose her smile. I’m guilty that I’m feeling any of it when Gabe is feeling none of it. I’m…hopeful, I think, of things I don’t even know how to vocalize and totally, completely, utterly unprepared for all of them.  

But for the first time I think…it’s okay.

I feel…safe? I think.

I feel safe in Haven.

I feel safe with Ryan and Steph and everyone else here.

Steph is totally the opposite of what I expect, every time. Steph is a true drummer punk, I guess, because she subverts literally every single one of my deeply held, probably trauma-infused expectations of what a person should do. And yet, somehow, I feel like I know her enough to know better.

Steph’s…complicated. And kind of emotionally messy. And totally amazing.

Steph looks at me without seriously a single ounce of expectation for me to fit into any mold. I feel everything I never really thought was mine to feel, at all, with her.

And I wonder what it looks like to her.

The truth is, I think I know the answer, and that’s what really terrifies me. I think I just…look like me.

I think she looks at me and just sees me, and is totally here, anyways.

And…at least I know I’m not the only one scared of it.

“Did you go over there, Val?” Steph’s fingertips so carefully curve behind the delicate, curving arch of Valkyre’s ear—the beast that scratched people who scratched all who dared to get too close, but somehow lets Steph stay. A singular green eye cracks open beneath the sun, spine lazily stretching before she eases fully onto the sill. “Do you think all of this…do you think it’s all just wishful thinking? Am I going crazy over nothing?”

Valkyrie just closes her eyes and doesn’t answer and Steph shrugs and gathers up binders and binders of magic lore, pamphlets, and spells and a singular red cap with a feather stuck inside because time moves on.

And so does Steph.

At least I know I’m not the only one alone.

Steph’s kind of uncharacteristically scared about it, but she’s still here. I feel a little bit guilty about that, too.

But I’m also a little happy? How messed up is that.

Is it messed up? I don’t know.

I’d ask Ryan if I didn’t feel guilty about that, too.

Valkyrie came to my window, last night. She only hissed a little bit when I brought her some food Steph left. (Just in case—apparently Valkyrie used to like sitting on the window when Gabe wasn’t around, even though no one has any idea how she got up here). She didn’t let me pet her, but she let me get close enough to drop off the dish.

It felt a little bit like a sign. I don’t know why.

Thumbs hesitate along the edge of the page and a thick laugh quietly dances through the air, thick with tears.

It feels like I’m doing something right.

Maybe for the first time, I’m actually…somehow doing something right.

#chenrich #lis #life is strange true colors #alex chen/steph gingrich #alex/steph #lis fic #lis tc fic #mine #fi2a #q #chenwich

[tobins-bun]

post game opinions!!!

yes i will be going through every player

- starting off with a living legend miss alyssa naeher did the ABSOLUTE MOST tonight. she may have missed that one ball but boy did she make up for it. we would not be where we are today without her years of dedication to this team. so thank you uncle naeher for all you’ve done and continue to do for us. including but not limited to SAVING OUR ASSES DURING PKS.

- crystal mf dunn played so well today. she was up and down the flank participating in play after play both offensively and defensively. her last second plays in the box were phenomenal. this woman is so talented on the ball i’ll never get over it.

- i think the whole nation is proud to have becky as a captain right now. as always she was solid in the back whether it was playing balls out or putting an end to the opposing team’s developing plays near the box. that’s my captain.

- abby d is coming more and more out of her funk with each day that passes by and boy am i glad about it. still a little shaky but some of her crosses were world class. i have faith that she’ll continue to get better and better.

- kelley o’hara played her whole heart out tonight. she was busting her ass to make sure her side stayed covered. although her passion/aggression did give away a penalty that happens and it’s something she just has to be more careful about which i’m sure she knows. no one is as dedicated as her and like jill ellis said: if you need a bitch get kelley.

- sammy bananas shut all of us up with her brilliant header to get us the first point. she was much much better on the ball today and it paid off. her and lynn are one hell of a duo.

- julie ertz. what can i say about julie? THAT WOMAN OH MY LORD. she was everywhere. literally a superwoman tease. her and alyssa were 100% our most valuable players today. so thank you for your service julie.

- she may not have scored a beautiful volley or header but lindsey horan was present and ready to play. not only did she have some beautiful passes but also did some great defensive work. hopefully she keeps that defensive work up because it was solid.

- did someone say rose lavelle? i think you mean national treasure. i swear red bull courses through that girls veins because she is pretty much the flash. somehow manages to SPRINT everywhere help is needed and be there in the blink of an eye. at this point i’d consider turning into a rose lavelle stan account because come on she’s insane.

- lynn raenie williams you have proved me wrong. not sure if i ever posted about it, but i had some serious doubts about her. her nwsl play has always been top level and i’m so happy that she’s brought that play to this tournament. her goal was an absolute banger and it’s just what we needed. also that woman is speedy as hell.

- carli flopped a lot.

- tobin is clearly getting back into her best form. she played excellent today and no one can tell me otherwise. her creativity on ball never fails to amaze me. wasn’t here loudest game but don’t discredit the defensive and offensive work she put in today.

- i hope christen press is overjoyed right now because she deserves it. that 2016 pen was heartbreaking and i’m so glad she got another chance at it. also that one offside goal was so so close. just waiting for her to majestically score in the next game.

- can’t forget about alex morgan who buried her penalty as well. she was oddly quiet but i could see her trying to make solid runs to the box. full credit for her ambition.

- finally rapinoe; what can i say i love when a purple haired lesbian sinks a penalty to win us the game.

#uswnt #uswnt vs netherlands #let’s not be negative people #also still not over tobin’s roar

[thealexchen]

Hey there! It's Anonymous again, coming back with some Headcanon questions! Since we've talked about Chenrich headcanons, what would you say are some personal headcanons about Gabe's relationship with Charlotte? Any headcanons of how Alex's relationship with Charlotte would develop after Gabe's death? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Hello there! Wow, this is interesting. Thank you for asking!

I think Gabe and Charlotte complement each other because Gabe has such a positive, laid-back nature while Charlotte is more of a serious, ambitious go-getter— even when meeting Alex for the first time, she still says she has to leave to finish up some art pieces before they’re due— and they both uplift the other.

Gabe can be a little forgetful (and I think that’s the source of the whole “Gabe Chen buys makeup flowers for angry girlfriend” line) but he always cares and makes sure to show it. Since Alex and Charlotte are both so artistic and creative, it would be funny if Gabe doesn't have a single artistic bone in his body and is instead really great with numbers— he takes care of all the budgeting and logistics in their little family unit. He’s learned to be satisfied and fulfilled with his bartending job and looking after Ethan. It’s nothing glamorous, but it’s really all he needs, and Charlotte is happy that he’s happy.

Besides their interests and personalities, I think Gabe was drawn to Charlotte the same way he was drawn to Haven Springs and Ryan and Steph: a deep need for connection and shared, painful pasts. The “Meet the Cast” blog post confirms that Charlotte is 28 and had been a single mom to Ethan. Ethan is currently 10, so she was a teen mom and has probably been through a lot, just like Gabe. Now, she’s turned her life around, just like Gabe, and is a beloved and successful artist and runs the medical marijuana dispensary in town. Gabe is always there to support all of her endeavors. Charlotte is also 3 years older than Gabe, so Gabe respects Charlotte deeply. Like Ryan, Gabe is a total gentleman and knows how to flatter with chivalry and genuine affection. I don’t think this is the first bouquet of flowers he’s bought for Charlotte, and he’s probably bought gifts or made her dinner to apologize for the smallest arguments. She always finds herself shaking her head in disbelief and saying, “I can’t stay mad at you,” with a smile.

Gabe has also become a total family man and very proudly calls himself “like, dad plus” (which Alex laughs at, but probably secretly appreciates, because that’s why she’s in Haven now!). Gabe initially turned to cooking to work through the grief of losing his parents, but by now it’s become a great hobby of his and he loves cooking all types of worldly cuisines, much to Charlotte and Ethan’s delight. But what’s interesting is that Charlotte’s character description in the blog post specifies that “she helped bring Alex to Haven,” showing that she wants to welcome Alex in as family as well. Charlotte is warm and welcoming to Alex from the start, saying “So glad you’re here, Alex. I’m looking forward to getting to know you.” Since Charlotte is 7 years older than Alex, she becomes an older sister figure to Alex, which she sorely needs after so many years in foster care with a well-meaning, but not always available social worker (Dr. Lynn).

Alex would be happy just watching Charlotte paint for hours, listening to soft grainy tunes on Charlotte’s handheld radio, sipping a drink from the Black Lantern, all in a comfortable silence. When Charlotte describes how joyful and free she feels while making art and a golden aura starts to form around her, Alex nods and smiles because yes, that’s exactly it. That’s just how she feels when she’s holding a guitar and a song is on her lips.

Charlotte helps fill in the gaps after Gabe dies. In the days immediately following his death, when Alex would cry at every thought of her brother, she approaches Charlotte with tears in her eyes and begs, “Tell me about Gabe. Why did you love him?” It’s painful at first, but over time Charlotte recounts every story she can think of, and Alex learns more about the man Gabe became and the boundless love he shared with everyone around him. Sometimes it’s late at night and they’re just sniffling on the couch. Other times, it’s warm and sunny, and with Ethan’s head in Alex's lap and listening to his mom tell stories, Alex feels herself healing.

The grief never truly goes away. The spring festival is a night of budding love and joy, but for Charlotte it makes the sting of her loss even sharper. So even though Alex is bursting with excitement and nerves about her concert, and possibly confessing to either Ryan or Steph with a rose, she still goes over to put a comforting arm around Charlotte’s shoulders. After Gabe died, Alex was devastated at the thought that she had no remaining family left because her parents were already gone. But as time goes on, Alex realizes that she thinks of Charlotte and Ethan as family too.

#life is strange true colors #lis headcanons #listc #lis #alex chen #life is strange #life is strange true colours #life is strange: true colors #true colors #true colours #life is strange 3 #lis: tc #lis:tc #charlotte harmon #gabe chen #ethan lambert #my writing #my post #lis alex #chen sibs #lis3 #anon #answered asks

[spaceskam]

a little follow up to this because @prouvaireafterdark​ asked and I’m a well established lynne fanpage ❤️ also this turned out more angsty than the first whoops

ao3

Alex didn’t call Michael and Michael didn’t call Alex.

The more time that passed, the more Alex was convinced that Michael wanted nothing to do with him anymore. He wasn’t exactly sure what he did wrong other than just be in the military. Sure, that was a fault in itself, but Michael already knew that. This wasn’t new.

It was two weeks before Alex’s phone rang again with Isobel’s name across his screen to signify that Michael was calling. He stared at it for longer than he should’ve before answering it with caution.

“Hello?” he asked.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did to make you ignore me, but I’m sorry,” Michael said. Alex blinked a few times and looked around. Everyone seemed to be in their own little world so Alex slipped into the hallway for a little more privacy.

“I’m not ignoring you,” Alex said, “You’re ignoring me.”

“Not true, you didn’t call me.”

“You didn’t call me either.”

Michael was silent for a long stretch of time. Alex almost thought he hung up, but, when he checked, the call was still going. He waited patiently. Or, as patiently as he could muster.

Then he heard Michael take a deep breath before he said, “I don’t know how to do this, Alex. I don’t know how I’m supposed to be with you like this.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex said, “I’m trying to–”

“I know you are. That’s what sucks. I’m supposed to just hear your voice over this shitty fucking phone and know that’s the best I’m going to get. I mean, you can’t even say my name. We’re both fucked over in this situation. What’s the point? What the hell are we even doing?” Michael asked. Alex swallowed harshly, his nails digging into his palms as he breathed in as slow as he could manage.

“Do you want to stop?” Alex whispered. Michael, again, fell silent. Alex did his best to keep his feelings in check, but he found it ridiculously hard. They’d fucked up their relationship so bad and now Michael wasn’t even sure it was worth it. 

“I just want you here.”

“But I can’t do that.”

“I know that, Alex!” Michael snapped. Alex shook his head even though he couldn’t see him.

“Don’t raise your voice at me. We don’t do that,” Alex said, feeling more than a little frustrated. If he was going to break up with him, he could do it without being a dick about it.

“I’m sorry,” Michael groaned, “But, fuck, what kind of relationship is this?”

“Fine, then we don’t have one,” Alex said simply before ending the call without a second thought. Michael, apparently, did have a second thought because his phone started ringing immediately after. Alex took a deep breath before answering it again. “What?”

“Alex,” Michael said, “We have a relationship. You’re my… my…”

“You can’t even say it.”

“Do you want to be that?” Michael wondered, “Are you my boyfriend or is this some weird in between thing until we figure out what kind of future we have? Are we being loyal or are we fucking with other people? What the hell are the rules to this? Why didn’t we discuss anything before you left?”

“Are you serious?” Alex scoffed, “You kept getting drunk and arrested every time I brought it up, how was I supposed to discuss that with you?”

“I was going through shit, Alex,” Michael said, “I’m still going through shit.”

“Well, so am I and I’m not being a dick.”

“Maybe so,” Michael huffed, “But you’re a better person than me.”

“That’s not an excuse.”

“Maybe not. Who knows.”

“I know,” Alex said firmly, “No matter what, it doesn’t give you an excuse to be mean to me. Not if you want to be with me. I know… I know bad things happened, but you can’t do that. It’s not fair.”

“You’re right, it’s not fair. None of this is.”

“Okay, then, what? What do you want? Do you want me to leave you alone until I come home? Do you want me to leave you alone even when I do? Tell me what you want me to do to stop making you so miserable and I’ll do it because I can’t take this,” Alex told him. Michael breathed heavily on the other line and Alex waited for him to just end it. All he had to do was say that it’s over and it would be. 

But he didn’t say that.

“I wrote you a letter, it should get there soon,” Michael said, “One day, you’ll be home and one day you’ll be in a place where we can be together. Right now, I don’t really think you can be my boyfriend because I don’t feel like yours. But I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“No, stop, what the fuck are you talking about? Why don’t you feel like mine? Because I can’t touch you? Because I can’t say your name?” Alex scoffed, quickly scanning the hall again, “None of that fucking matters, Michael. I risk everything for you by talking to you and sending you letters. Do you know what happens if they find out? I get kicked out. Do you know how that looks? It can literally ruin my entire life to have that on my record. I’m risking everything for you and you don’t feel like my boyfriend? Fuck you for that.”

“Why are you risking it for me, then? I’m not fucking special, Alex.”

Alex laughed dryly, taking a deep breath, “You are, though. To me, at least. Isn’t that enough? At least for right now?”

Michael sniffled on the other end of the line.

“Three more years, okay? Three more years and that’s it. Can you just bare with me for three years?” Alex asked.

“I just miss you now.”

“Make one more sacrifice for me,” Alex asked, “Just this one. I’ll make it up to you.”

“I know you will,” Michael whispered. Alex took a deep breath at the quiet agreement. He hated this. “You should get my letter soon. I’ll call you tomorrow?”

“Okay,” Alex agreed, “I can’t wait to hear your voice.”

“Can’t wait to hear yours either.”

Alex got the letter early the next morning, five pages front and back. It was nothing but Michael saying he missed him and promising that it’ll be worth it and fantasizing about a dog they’d get in the future. Leave it to Michael to write a letter about their future dog and then try to break up with him a few days later.

When he got that call around lunch time, the animosity was stripped from his voice. Instead, he was happy to speak to him.

“Three more years,” Michael said, “Three more years and we’ll be okay.”

And, although three more years turned out to be a lie, it was still a nice lie to get them both through the day.

#malex #malex fic #michael guerin #alex manes #rnm fic #my fic

[that-soccer-guru]

Probably a little too early to ask but what are your predictions about who Vlatko has in mind for an Olympic roster & the 2023 WC roster vs. your own personal ideal olympic & WC roster?

Okay I'm going to lump this in with this ask because I'll be addressing some wild predictions here

Vlatko has been trying a lot of things with his camps in a hell of a weird year, and it's worked out so far! Good prospects are getting senior call ups, the experienced players are also getting to guide the newbies, and he's developing some interesting strategies that separate him from the Jill Ellis era.

I'm not going to speculate too much on the WC roster because we don't know what players will be retiring from international duty/from the sport in general. I can think of a few whose replacements are reaching their peak so, it depends on how that ends up working out.

The Olympics though are around the corner and do leave me with a bit more speculation room so let's see. Don’t forget the problem with the Olympic roster is that teams are only allowed 18 players instead of the WC and other tournament’s 23. So, here we go (look for the bold if you want to skip my reasoning):

Goalkeepers (2): Naeher is definitely the undisputed number 1 but it does come down to who's going to be the alternate. AD's injury couldn't have come at a better time because well, nothing of note happened in 2020. I do think, and don't yell at me for it, that Ashlyn Harris is done in the NT. She's just too unpredictable and with the team being used to Naeher's more classic goalkeeping, she wouldn't make a good alternate. Plus Naeher doesn't need a security blanket anymore so, yeaaaah. I definitely think, if AD gets healthy in time for Jan camp, that it'll come down to her and Bledsoe. Campbell is great for PKs but I don't know that with roster limitations she'd be my pick, she reminds me too much of Ashlyn and I don’t love that shit. So I would end with: Alyssa Naeher and Adrianna Franch. With Audrey Bledsoe competing for that number 2 and Jane Campbell on standby in case of crazy injury happenstance. 

Defenders (6): as sad as it is for me to say it, Ali Krieger also seems to be on her way out of the NT too. Experience is important but the CB position has been pretty covered by Dahlkemper and Broon. If the roster had more room I would definitely pick her, but with only 18 spots it's hard to make that choice for a player that isn't International 90min fit. IF Kelley can stay healthy I'm sure she's a shoe-in. Sonnett, despite what other people might say, is a solid choice for me. She can play up the bounds like Dunn and KO do, can switch sides if needed, and would in my opinion be a better choice for RB than Midge (again with the midfielders becoming defenders bs from this fucking team). Tierna would also be a good choice if she can stay fit, which is the problem with more than one NT player. If you had to ask for my 6 it would be: Becky Sauerbrunn, Abby Dahlhemper, Kelley O’Hara, Emily Sonnett and Crystal Dunn. If O’Hara is injured I would have Midge Purce, Tierna Davidson and Casey Short as backups in that order (with Ali Krieger being the very last choice of backup I would bring)

Midfielders (6): There are some obvious shoe-ins here, Lindsey Horan and Sam Mewis. Assuming Rose can stay healthy she would also be a surefire midfielder for me, and if she does get injured and it’s not too serious she’d be a good late miunute sub (and we can all say that’s a toss-up with how often the poor kid is out with injuries). That leaves at least 3 spots where there’s a lot of what-ifs. Andi Sullivan has been out with an injury, again luckily in a year where not much happened, but I would still pick Julie Ertz over her. Christen Press would obviously be an easy choice, again assuming that the weird injury she picked up gets managed. Finally, I think that despite being a little older than some of the prospects, Kristie Mewis will earn herself that last spot IF she can keep the momentum she has going into Jan camp. I don’t see her slowing down so that might just pan out. Catarina Macario is a big IF, assuming that FIFA waives her waiting period, so she would be the person who would take Kmew’s spot, but I still think it would be a risky thing to bring in such a young player without any caps straight to an Olympics run. That would mean my midfield picks would end up with: Lindsey Horan, Sam Mewis, Rose Lavelle, Julie Ertz, Christen Press, Kristie Mewis. Backups: Andi Sullivan (my pick to go over Kristie if she’s healthy AND can match her momentum), Catarina Macario and Jaelin Howell would stay on standby in case of injury. 

Forwards (6): Alright we all know that, unless there’s a major catastrophe, an intervention from your Deity of choice, a career ending injury or a unplanned pregnancy (an impossibility for one of these 3), Carli Lloyd, Alex Morgan and Megan Rapinoe will be on this roster. Tobin is also a pretty solid shoe-in for this roster, again barring something outside of everyone’s control. That leaves 2 spots. One of those is likely going to Lynn Williams, because as long as she can provide assists the way she’s been doing (If I’m not wrong she had the highest rate of assists this year), she’ll have a spot on this roster because speed and pass ability is high even if her individual opportunity success is NOT. The final spot is a bit up in the air for me, so bear with my reasoning for a second: Mal Pugh’s injury record sours her for me here. Unless she can come back super healthy and keep up with the team, I don’t see her in this roster. Assuming a spot is left open, and Vlatko can quit it with the defender shit, Midge Purce would fit really well here. She’s a great winger, she can play in the midfield, and kid has great stamina. That would also leave Sophia Smith as my final choice, with the same reasoning I had with Macario except for the waiting period thing. She’s really young, didn’t start on the right foot due to an injury, but would definitely benefit from international experience, and seems to be on the right path to healthy. My forward picks would end up in: Carli Lloyd, Alex Morgan, Megan Rapinoe, Tobin Heath, Lynn Williams, Midge Purce (assuming Mal is still injured AND she’s not picked for the defense). That would leave: Mal Pugh and Sophia Smith on standby for injuries (with maybe someone like Ashley Hatch or Bethany Balcer in case Mal AND Sophia get injured, or Midge is picked for defense and more backups are needed). 

Now, don’t anyone get angry at me. That’s just the way I see things panning out and the way I think it might work out. Again this is barring injuries, things outside everyone’s control, retirements (which I don’t think will be announced unless there’s a career ending injury), how players are recovering from their injuries, and FIFA rulings on Macario’s waiting period. 

I HOPE THAT WAS THOROUGH ENOUGH ANON! PLEASE HIT ME WITH ANY DISAGREEMENTS (THOUGH NOT TOO HARD) OR COMMENTS ON THIS!

#I'm not tagging everyone here brah #2021 olympics #c: olympics #uswnt #t: uswnt #olympics roster #emily sonnett #just soccer things #soccer stuff #sonnett side up teaches #sophia smith #catarina macario #midge purce #jaelin howell #kristie mewis #mal pugh #rose lavelle #i'm only tagging the players I spoke about the most #andi sullivan #tierna davidson #p: emily sonnett #p: sophia smith #p: catarina macario #p: midge purce #p: jaelin howell #p: kristie mewis #p: mal pugh #p: rose lavelle #p: andi sullivan #p: tierna davidson

[myimaginarywonderland]

My dream FE teams for now

First off, this is more focused on getting competitive teams than the one I would like to see but there is also my personal bias in some.

If someone wants to discuss this feel free and also share your teams!

Audi: Nico Müller and Réne Rast

I feel like this one is pretty self explanatory? Réne (no matter what opinion you might have about him) is an outstanding driver and the fact that he has outscored Lucas, one of the best Formula E drivers, just shows his talent. If they don't take him, they would he stupid. Also, I have heard him giggle today and my opinion changed from "I don't like you" to "I want you to get this seat", so here we are.

I originally wanted to put to Amna Al Qubaisi here as I really want her to be in Formula E ( she has some really impressive records and looks promising and I want to see her true potential someday.) However I think putting her here in the next years would be too early as I think she still needs to get some more experience in order to improve as a complete driver. We know how much of a leap FE is in comparison to other championship so I didn't want to just throw her in here. So, Nico seemed like the best and safest choice for now eventhough I will need him to prove hot show his talent a bit more. With Nico and Réne Audi would be one of the strongest line ups and I am sure that they would be one of the most competitive. I don't entirely want to rule Amna out, let's see how she develops and where she goes so we can compare her performance a bit to Nicos. For now though, Nico and René would be safe and obviously talented choice so I went for them in the end.

BMW: Maximilian Günther and Oliver Turvey.

For sure I would keep Max at BMW. He has a bright future and great potential/talented. I am excited to see him battle more at the front next year.

I really wanted to keep Alex but since my goal was to change basically every line up, I decided not to.

And thus, Oliver Turvey was put here. This is for two reasons. One being, he is a driver with a lot of insight and patience (since he stayed with Nio this long) which could for sure benefit the BMW team and potentially help them figure out the problem they had in the second half (or maybe we just thought they were better than they actually were). The second reason being, that I just want him to get a good car and finally show the potential he has. That man has not had the chance to prove himself for so many seasons which needs to finally end.

This would be the most quiet and shy team on the whole grid but somehow I could actually see this working out in a way.

Techeetah: JEV and Antonio Felix Da Costa

No doubt about this. 100% want to see them go more head to head next year. Probably the current team with the most talent. Also, JEV can never leave Techeetah (or I'll have a breakdown) and Antonio seems like he is really getting along with the team and bringing out the best in JEV. I am excited to see how they push each other in the coming year.

This will not be changed and be the only team that I will keep like this mainly so I I can see how much they actually help be the other be a better and complete driver.

Envision: Robin Frijns and Alice Powell

I want Robin to stay at Envision and have shot at a championship. Also, I feel like he really fits in with the team.

I mean, Alice has had some good performances in here past and since FE is the most competitive grid with the best teams, get her in there asap.

Also, I would really enjoy someone more reserved and quiet next to Robin. I have a feeling they would get along and really help each other develop as drivers.

Dragon: Sergio Sette Camera and Jérôme D'Ambrosio

How hesitant I was to put Jérôme here. I was truly struggling. But I feel like the team need a practiced and capable driver like Jérômeuno to get back on top again. Also, I couldn't just let him go and him going back to the team he started with would be really nice.

Sette Camera has been amazing so far and when I saw how happy he was to get this chance and how much he wanted to stay I knew I had to give him a place here. I also feel like he has really gotten how the Dragon car works so that's just another bonus.

Mahindra: Daniel Abt and Alex Lynn

This would be my favourite line up, ever.

Daniel is one of the drivers that has been on the grid the longest and he deserves a seat in a front running team. Also, I feel like this would be the perfect team for him. A family atmosphere, people that appreciate him and a team where he isn't automatically second driver (I might he pissed about this but I definitely get why Audi did it. This is not to say that he was always restricted in his driving, he definitely had races where he was great but I feel like being in a team where he isn't seen as second driver or the son of the owner could truly make people realise that he is a talented driver by himself without any relations.) Let's see how well he does when he has to prove himself. l know he might not be the best driver but he for sure is consistent and has some great results. That consistency and experience could really help Mahindra get back on top since this year they were nowhere near the front.

Alex I really want to stay here for next year. He has had amazing qualifyings and I feel like he has also shown his race peace this year. Give him a chance in a good team.

And besides, if there is a team that I will always adore it is Mahindra. The family atmosphere, pure emotions and happiness as wells as passion that they have and that Dillbagh brings to this team is just incredible. And pair that with Daniel's friendly character and Alex's joy when being in FE and you could have to most happy team in the grid.

Mercedes: Stoffel Vandoorne and Nyck De Vries

This might be the other line up I want to keep. Purely because Mercedes is truly becoming more and more competitive and the pace they have is also quite good.

Stoffels win proved this and then Nyck second place further added to this.

And I am so excited to see what Nyck can do as he has had amazing qualifying results and showed that he isn't afraid to make a move. This duo is not only cute and they genuinely get along really well but they could also push each other. And let Stoffel have competitive car.

Nio: Sam Bird and Alex Sims

Listen. I didn't originally want to do this. But then again, this team deserves something. And I think that something could clearly be there if they had this duo. Sam brings the skill, the knowledge that could help them improve and together with Alex I actually think they could help the team get better. Also, I didn't have the heart to let Sam go yet. The more I think about it, this would actually be beneficial to the team. A knowledgeable drivers as well as one that brings patience and the necessary skills for development. I think if a duo could help this team it would be these two. Also? I would really like to see them as team mates? It could totally work out but also not. I think this team needs a total change which both Alex and Sam would be.

Nissan: Oliver Rowland and Sebastian Buemi

This will be the last team I keep like they were.

Why would I change it? Oli and Seb get along so well and truly bring the team forward. Another bonus is that both are really talented and Oli is not afraid to make moves as well as challenge Seb which he is able to because he is really talented and great driver. He is truly an aggressive driver (in a good way) which Nico never was so Seb did not have any that really threatened his position which Oli is able to.

And they both are in the mix for podiums as well as wins (Oli's win this season was incredible and frankly showed why they choose him in the first place.)

Also, I didn't know who else to put in this team next to Oli and I can't see Seb leaving them somehow. He has been with them since season 1 and they have done so much together, so the only instance in which he would leave them would in my opinion to retire which is still way too early. He is one of the best if not the best driver and still as good as ever. The car was lacking but I think that during the break they caught up to the others and will be on their level next year.

Jaguar: Mitch Evans and Sascha Fenestraz

Mitch is pretty obvious. That man has some serious pace and is a competitor through and through. He is also the one that (in my opinion) brought Jaguar to the position they are in right now. Next season (if they have the constant pace to be a challenger) he will for sure be a threat.

And Sascha has had such a good junior career I don't know why he isn't in a higher series. Get this boy a seat somewhere. And where better than the most competitive, hardest and crazy series than FE? I am excited to see what he does in the future and I would love him to get a seat here someday.

Porsche: Pascal Wehrlein and André Lotterer

I mean, who wouldn't want that? And we even got it, hell yeah.

André is really great at Porsche and I think if they develop more, they could for sure be a competitor. From the driver he was at Techeetah, either crashing/being out of the race or getting a podium to the driver he is now, consistently getting points and also good results, he has truly progressed and also understood FE more.

I feel like both of them fit into the Porsche brand (the one I have in my head being drive fast and be pretty) and I am so excited to see the content and racing they will provide next year. Probably the team I am most looking to.

I want Pascal here because since his rookie season he has been impressive but I feel like there was always something lacking (on the cars he drove) and that something could definitely be found here.

Venturi: Edoardo Mortara and Neel Jani

Hear me out everyone. Edo for sure has to stay at Venturi because this is where he belongs. I can't really explain it but I think he perfectly is the lead driver of the team and he has proven again and again that even if the car is not that good, he can perform in it. I don't want to see him anywhere else because I feel like he has a connection to the team (his crying because he couldn't win for them being one example) that will even be stronger if they are more competitive.

As for Neel, I have got to say and the beginning of the season I didn't really care for him and probably wouldn't have given him a place here but the way he just got on it at the end of the season really convinced me otherwise. He was struggling but something just clicked and I think that in his second season he could show that he has understood the racing and pull out some great results. And where else than in Venturi? I think he could benefit from having Edo as a teammate as Edo has a lot of experience and could probably help him become a fuller driver.

Also, I feel like having this driver line up could push Venturi as a whole to become the competitor everyone always thought they were.

#formula e #fe