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#AND I cant get low cost testing
claudemblems · 2 months
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Nevermind. I'm not getting tested. This mental health resources place is useless and didn't inform in me in my first appointment last week that they don't test for autism OR adhd.
I just went into my new appointment, was told this information, and walked out. I wasn't offered any options besides being told a doctor could tell me if I have adhd.
Huge waste of my time.
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an update
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Not the update i want to be making...but after getting our youngest brother out last Tuesday, our other brother Ross became sick too. At first i thought it's probably covid again but he tested negative. I also thought it could be the weather because it was raining hard the past few days and we were staying near an overflowing, flooded tunnel. Turns out he has dengue and needs to be admitted too. His wbc is so low and there was blood in his urine. They're still observing him if he also has uti and needs to be on the dextrose for 3 days
I still cant believe the luck that we have and im not really sure what we did so wrong in life that unfortunate things keep happening to us this past 3 years
I want to thank everyone who helped us last time. Im ashamed to ask again but we're really at rock bottom now
This wont be as expensive as the covid isolation room but still costs $44 a night plus other medications and expenses
Anything helps and is appreciated please. Im sorry if i sound a little dull now, i havent been able to sleep and eat well the past few months. I really hope i still make it for my brothers
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wttt-dirus-work · 5 months
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So, i saw a post with NY headcanons and it reminded me that while i included my own disabled headcanons in my fics, i forgot to make my own headcanons post (?) and i've got more than i though lol
So here we go!
NY: Dude got a bad eye, someday it's normal, other days it get blurred. He also has a scar over it, and his shoulders can get funky when its humid outside.
NJ: some of y'all already knows it, but Jersey got Tourette's. Mostly shoulder jerking, neck twitching, blinking hard and grimacing. When it gets bad his back jerks, and his vocals tics get worse (mostly whistles and pop, tho if hes anxious/stressed he does repeat some words)
Delaware: he got arthritis in his hands, and can hardly move them.
Mass: He was injured during the revolution, and walking became harder for him (limping and his legs became stiffer), then another injury during the civil war made him unable to walk for some days, therefore he use a wheelchair most of the time. He is still able to walk, but it is either too painful, or he doesn't have the energy needed to be able to stand all day.
Connie: he got shaky hands, when he's tired, nervous or angry, he cant hold anything with those. Its his nerves, and it doesnt hurt but its annoying.
Vermont: he got diabetes! Type 1; and it's so fucking expensive that it's Québec his "dealer" (it cost around 98$US when here its around 12$CAN sooo). He also got a sweet tooth, and forget to watch his sugar level (Hampshire there's for it; buddy's wayy to protective to let anything happen to Vermont)
PA: he's dyslexic, and it's mostly Mass who helps him with paperwork when he's not badgering Connie.
Florida: That gremling got Adhd, big dyslexia and his first language is spanish (which doesnt help with the reading). He also got so many scars from disturbing wildlife (anyone has seen that "yoink" dude in the everglades? Yeah thats flo). He got chronic pain in his left knee, and his right wrist always cracks when he moves it.
Louie: french lover is a people pleaser, but the chillest person you'll ever meet. He never panics, and is sometime too calm; but hurt any of the southern state (or Cal) and you're done. He's the voodoo capital, so dont mess with him
Georgia: hes an insomniac, but is fucking sleepy during the day (the math aint mathing ya know). He can sleep anywhere except during the night. He's bud with york and nevada, you can find those three driking in silence during a poker game.
Virginia: (uses they/them) they have a limp on the left leg, who always in pain (low but chronic with some real bad days). They're also a sleepwalker (think Celinaspookyboo style) and Georgia (or one of the insomniac state) each switch to watch them at night.
Montana: deer in headlights when spoken to. Will not talk to anyone when he doesnt have something to say or isnt upset (that sketch with the clown thing? Yeah he talked to them cause he was angry). Dont talk to him, dont even aknowledge him and he'll be more than happy to not exist in your mind. (Hes jealous of alaskas ability to not being seen)
Cal: dudes his always in pain. The fire, the drought, to goldrushes, hes always hurting. He got big scars from the fires, and his skin is the dryest thing ever despite all the moisturizer he uses. When he's burning up his eyes gets cloudy grey; they itch and cry all the time, and he cant see shit. He also need an oxygen mask when its too bad, and his eyes are naturaly gold.
Washington: hes a bitch. Dude got poor circulation too, so his hands and feet are always cold. When it's raining for too long his hair is oily, and when it's a drought it's the driest (he uses dryshampoo and got a routine to fight it).
Oregon : hes gay. Thats a known thing, and he's the bridge between Cal and Wash. Hes nicer to cal than wash, but he's not kind. The west coast are nice in interraction, but they ain't your friends.
Nevada: ah, vada. He got scaring from the nuclear testing, can see in the dark like nobody, and is the only state who can chose to change their physical appearance. Has coloured hair (pink or purple mostly) and the greenest eyes you'll ever see (or purple, didnt made my mind yet). Hes careful with his diet and always exercice despite the painful joins.
Texas: that idiot got sleep apnea but refuses to get checked out for it (and get a CPAP). He also has asthma (geez that word is hard to write) and colorblindness (can't see red). He only wears his shirt cause he knows what the colours are and refused to be pranked about that.
If you wanna adds your own, your welcome to do so! ^^
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Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)
Season 1, Episode 15: Give Me Your Princess Season 1, Episode 16: Bridge Over The River Chozzerai
I'm attempting to do two episodes per post now! This will help me finish the show quicker and hopefully will make it more fun to watch
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Episode 15 - Give Me Your Princess We start with Lotor quite literally asserting his dominance over his military as Commander, and immediately they're off to destroy Arus Also, this is where the obsession starts I guess, suddenly he's real interested in the princess
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holy shit i cant believe he actually takes care of his hair
Oh we're already at this episode? Allura sneaks into black lion to learn to fly it in case of emergency, good plan but i always was annoyed that she thinks it HAS to be her when she's literally the most important person on the team, yknow being a princess and all
Ah yes a staple of the 80s "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't do things boys can!" Obviously it was important for girls during that decade and it still is now but MAN is the way of showing girl power outdated as I'm watching this now more than 30 yrs later
Lion troubles, apparently Black lion is malfunctioning, but they try and fail to form Voltron as Lotor is actually competent LMAO Allura faints and black drops out of the sky
Lotor has a personal fighter, and it looks like a bat, how cool, Keith is currently trying to rip it apart since everyone thinks it's allura in blue and not him which makes lotor scram
Harem time, I guess that's why they pulled the sudden obsession this episode, all the harem girls are blonde and could easily be mistaken for Allura and the allura imagery all throughout this episode that I haven't been mentioning
hell yeah they're telling off allura for her sudden test drive of black and now her reason changes from "in case of emergency" to "if you go back to earth"
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oh my god this just turned into a telenovela Especially with Keith guilt-tripping her by saying Sven wouldn't have almost cost them their lives, low blow keith
She tries to apologize to Keith but the words of the other 3 boys get to her and she walks off I'm actually kind of glad she takes their opinions seriously and isn't being relegated to "the leader's girl" also keith regrets being so harsh on her, even though he was right to reprimand her in general
Did nobody learn anything from the last time lotor was on arus and said he'd be willing to leave in peace? Allura he won't give up just because you give yourself to him, especially if he smacked keith in the face with a ROCK after he won their sword fight
Allura literally busts through the tower lotor left on arus and gives herself up, and then faints (again) because Lotor electrocuted the lion, I don't blame her for that one The boys go rescue her and i think i missed something because keith is hurt? He did go after the princess outside his lion so maybe he got shot and i missed it, anyway he's ass at flying and allura is protecting him in turn now
No robeast this episode, but voltron is still formed and takes down the rest of the spires that lotor left behind, plus a giant laser weapon Allura and Lance carry Keith in, apparently he was cut by lotors laser sword, go figure Nanny doesn't care, as per usual, but goes to get stuff for Keith once Allura tells her to
Everyone forgives each other, Allura apologizes for stealing black without permission and the boys apologize for being so rude when she just wanted to do some good, Allura cries (for like the third time) in joy after being told she's wanted to be kept on the team, so she shouldn't doubt it
/episode end
Episode 16: Bridge Over The River Chozzerai Apparently the kingdom Allura rules over is called Altair and another nearby kingdom is called Helena. They have a running legend together about two lovers who were each a part of one of the kingdoms, but it was a romeo and juliette esq romance because the kingdoms were enemies, so they built a bridge between the vliff that separated them to finally be together the princess is playing one of the lovers, while she wants one of the boys to play the other
"getting icky sticky in the middle" Lance McClain sHUT-
The boys minus Keith are fighting over the part, Keith ain't no simp and especially not one for Allura LMAO Keith "No, Thanks" Kogane is a mood, I wouldn't want to go out to a bridge ceremony either
Hunk wins because Pidge tries to get the mice to help him cheat at a card draw, and they purposefully mess him up Now they have more beef lol
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What a cute dress, I wonder if this is a historical reenactment or actual fashion on Arus
Haggar's cat exists once again and sends word that Allura and Hunk are away from castle. Lotor starts heading to Arus, specifically for Allura ofc, and interrupts the two right before they embrace on the bridge Now there's a robeast and it splits the bridge in two while Lotor shoots the cliff where the bridge hangs, causing it to fall. Somehow Allura is on the unsunken parts of the bridge and Lotor takes the change to try and snatch her before Hunk comes from behind and starts fucking SWINGING Very iconic of him, I'd feel safer if Hunk was protecting me in danger
The other boys are on their way, but Hunk slips off the bridge and is hanging on for his life as lotor gets pushed away by Allura who then gets smacked into the water Lotor comes back around for her in his jet until yellow line smacks him from behind, how the FUCK did Hunk get there so fast, and nanny since shes SOMEHOW IN THERE TOO
Lotor strikes back, and they crash into the cliff while the boys are stuck fighting a robeast at the castle, so they can't go help him Allura swims to safety anyway and runs to blue only to find lotor already there, honestly very smart of him since she's guaranteed to return to blue
HELLO?? Lotor tried grabbing her even though she had a gun, girl should've pulled the trigger, but only tears her dress so instead she runs towards blue AND POINTS THE BLASTER AT HER HEAD Damn, I really need to watch beastking golion if we get stuff like this in the censored American version
Anyway he tried to get the gun away but literally trips giving her time to shoot at his feet, so he back-ups enough for her to get into blue, smart girl Hunk and nanny are still at the cliff since yellow isn't responding well, so she basically piggybacks yellow onto blue to get back to the castle as lotor is shooting at them, that's a very weird position but ok
Keith can apparently take control over yellow when they're in voltron? I'm taking that as, since he's the center, having the ability to work with all 5 lions to coordinate movement, but not actually control the limb as that's up to the pilot in it
Voltron is formed, maybe it has a strong magnetic pull that brought yellow lion in even though it couldn't fly, also voltron has a whole other sword, that's interesting to know Blazing sword takes out the elephant tank hybrid robeast and now Yellow is getting repaired, it looks like it's being done inside it's den so that's good to know for world building
Hunk questions why Allura didn't kiss Lotor on the bridge since the legend was about uniting two lands but Allura is grossed out and says it's about people in love and that not even his father could love lotor get his ass princess
she was right lol, zarkon's PISSED and tells him to stop thinking with the head in his pants and start thinking with the head on his shoulders to defeat voltron
/episode end
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hickmanhawley22 · 1 year
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Questions On Rheem Tankless Water Heaters
There definitely number of ways to steer clear of the legs from sinking in the ground. Getting is to sink both legs in the ground on the depth of your first ladder rung which will provide adequate support quit further misfortune. This can be difficult due to tree roots or gravel. However, if strategy is successful, you have lost some height of the ladder walk. Another disadvantage, the legs will tend to rust off while within moist soil, creating a security hazard. We need oil, all of us need it now. seamless stainless steel square tubing is sucking oil appearing a milk shake, and she won't be stopping. If you would like a great career, donrrrt top pipe welder. Just about all welding pays well. Most welders pay a visit to school for several of years, learn a lot of stuff they'll never use, and get stuck in low paying jobs. All of the while, they don't know that when just learn this one skill you know nothing else, they're going to be able additional medications real money for with the rest of their working. The benefit of tube skylights is which give 100% of visible spectrum of light. seamless galvanized pipe is what is meant for the circadian rhythm. Also sunlight assists in the improve trueness of the colours that we notice reducing strain on the view. Tube skylights that are large produce wattage of 1000 - 1400 W of light. So, this can replace a involving bulbs at the same cost as immediately a permanent fixture that is high finish line. A 10'' tube skylight would provide equivalent of nearly 3 100 W bulbs the. She stomped to her bed and sat down with a thud. She was NOT upset with herself! She was upset with the non co-operation of the tube!!! Why in the world, could it not give her what she wanted? Should it cant you create even the sense to recognise what a youngster wants? Is it not its duty to sleepy eyed kids, who win the big fight to wake up early individuals no school? Can't it co-operate this little much and do its job properly? When will adults and toothpaste tubes understand small simple obvious needs of square pipe kids? Why not Minot, (North Dakota)? You will out. You sure consider every warm piece of clothing you ever got inside your life (and ask your mom for this baby blanket back too). Why? because you'll be putting it all on to start with. Temperatures could be 40 degrees Fahrenheit, BELOW zero. yuantai steel isn't only place there is work or will soon be work. The big pipeline from Canada to Texas will start up soon, and the likely to discover demand for pipe welders explode. There is no shortage of solutions to the above question. I have heard folks say imagine the tube resembles an eel. Other guys have mentioned consider bass think the tube is an eel having a worm in the mouth swimming backwards (that one's my favorite!). Should choose to to renovate an unfinished part within the home, test for radon before work begins. This much in order to install a radon system in an unfinished a spot. If your test results are close on the EPA action level (4.0 pCi/l), test the space again in the evening is basically finished.
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Low but not for long.
A personal update, I managed to get a wee day out earlier this week, mum and I went out to the Clyde valley on Wednesday to pop into Dobbie's and Silver birch garden centres. I picked up a couple of things in Dobbie's but oh my Silver birch was like a treasure trove.
It is always decorated so well, they have such lovely decorations and we/I ended up burning a serious hole in the bank account. I just can't believe how talented some crafts folk are and I know a lot of things are made en masse but my there are some beautiful things. Every year when we unearth our Christmas decs I am just stunned by the things we have, nothing to do with the cost of them but the craftsmanship is just something I adore.
Thursday was a bit manic because we were due to have a couple of electricians come round and do bits but they were running late and I needed the electricity on for my singing lesson. It was just so close to the grain time wise, plus it's amazing how much stuff one bookcase that had to be emptied can carry, I felt like I was sitting in the back of a charity shop with things out for sorting.
I've been a bit low a few times although thankfully not for long, just dipping into it and usually only when I am tired. It's just waiting for the consultant to get back to me with my MRI results in so stressful, I am going to send another email on Monday to remind him I exist, but Is entirely possible that there are no real answers for my back pain on the MRI and the whole exercise would be pointless, or there could be an answer but nothing can be done regardless. I think I would prefer the latter because I drive myself crazy wondering why I have had this pain kissing my shoulder blades for the past 4 years that just isn't going away.
Plus I've done something to my knee, or my hEDS has, it's been sore and swollen for around a month and I've reached the point where I think I'm going to have to talk to a doctor about it, just to make sure that I don't make it worse really. It's pretty bearable but walking up the stairs can be difficult.
I haven't had any more news about my application for disability aid since a lassie phoned me to ask about uploading more evidence, I don't really have many test results or things to show though. I just told them that they could ask my doctor about the medical part and my mum about the rest to prove my case. There's so little help for folks with hEDS that I really have nothing to show them. I just bumble on as best I can, which means painkillers when I need them and a wheelchair mum bought me so I can get about bigger places. Even the Physio isn't much help because I keep saying it's my upper back that's sore and I just hear about Core exercises which were great for my lower back but do fuck all for my upper back. They did give me some advice for my shoulder subluxations but I can't use the kinetic tape which I found to be so helpful but I am allergic to the glue.
I really just exist in the living room during the day unless it's nice weather and my back can tolerate me sitting out on the Oyster seat we have. Or if mums free to take me out on a day trip but that also depends on how I am feeling, my Vestibular migraines, although the meds help the vertigo, still play havoc with me at times and travelling can be difficult.
Still at this point with the shitshow that is Brexit I am just happy I can still get my meds, life is certainly far better on them than off! I also don't ruminate too much on the cant's and generally just enjoy being able to see out the window and spending time with the kitts and mum and the internet is my view of outside the house. It's not what I wanted in life but it could be far, far worse so I just enjoy myself despite it. There is lots of interesting things I can see and read and watch and listen to. I fought very hard to be alive so I will take what I can get while trying to figure out what else can be done as I go.
This is getting quite wordy, so I shall go away and have a wee check on twitter before heading to bed. Thanks for reading if you got this far, I appreciate your time cat.
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lasclrex · 2 years
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Zadig driver installation failed digispark
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ZADIG DRIVER INSTALLATION FAILED DIGISPARK DRIVER
ZADIG DRIVER INSTALLATION FAILED DIGISPARK FULL
ZADIG DRIVER INSTALLATION FAILED DIGISPARK SOFTWARE
After this, zadig becomes unresponsive and Im forced to end it with task manager.
ZADIG DRIVER INSTALLATION FAILED DIGISPARK DRIVER
If you get an error that assertion failed or micronucleus crashed during upload then you probably did not unplug your Digispark before uploading. I cant get past the zadig driver installer, it runs for a while, eventually aborts and says 'driver installation failed' with the reason of 'Operation timed out'. In addition remember the Digispark only shows up as a programmable device for 5 seconds, after that it will start running its code (when it is new and un-programmed this means it will blink) and disappear or act like the USB device you programmed it to act like.Īlways remember to unplug the Digispark before hitting upload and plug it in when the Arduino IDE requests you to. We tested and designed the Digispark for maximum compatibility but we can not guarantee it will work with everything. Certain laptops, older machines, and just some cheaply made USB hubs/controllers do not like this. For this reason much of the Digispark's USB operation is considered borderline out of spec.
ZADIG DRIVER INSTALLATION FAILED DIGISPARK SOFTWARE
The Digispark pushes affordable, small components to their limits by using software to emulate USB functions generally served by a dedicated chip. Please treat electricity and electronics with respect and common sense. We take no responsibility for misuse of the product. The Digispark is small enough to present a choking hazard and small enough to be inserted into some sockets. Connecting power to the Digispark power pins backwards will almost certainly destroy it. The Digispark does not have short circuit or reverse polarity protection. For the record, we've found many computers have usb fuses built in, and when we blew them on our 27“ Mac monitor, thankfully they reset and everything worked after a power down. We strongly recommend connecting your Digispark through a USB hub which will often limit the damage caused by a short circuit to the usb hub. We take no responsibility for damage to your machine as a result of the use of a Digispark. Connecting a shorted circuit to the Digispark and connecting it to your computer could damage your computer and/or its USB ports. When testing a new circuit we recommend that you test it with an external power supply first.
ZADIG DRIVER INSTALLATION FAILED DIGISPARK FULL
The Digispark, due to its small size and low cost is not as robust as a full blown Arduino. This code will blink the BUILTIN LED (on either pin 0 or pin 1 depending on the Digispark model see: Model Identification).Īs soon as it has uploaded you should see the LED start to blink!įor some sample code for the basic I/O function see here: Digispark Basics Digispark Differences and Using Arduino/Processing with the Digispark: the loop routine runs over and over again forever:ĭigitalWrite(0, HIGH) // turn the LED on (HIGH is the voltage level)ĭigitalWrite(0, LOW) // turn the LED off by making the voltage LOW initialize the digital pin as an output. Here is the code it will load: // the setup routine runs once when you press reset: If you're just getting started try the above procedure with the example you can find by going to File→Examples→Digispark→Start
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makiema · 3 years
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finally finished writing about how much stormbringer enhances the skk dynamic which was at a nascent stage in Fifteen and anticipates the developments which happen later and culminate in Dead Apple where the faith they have in each other is absolutely remarkable! the fact that i said i’d do this in a few hours yesterday but it took me like 24 hrs to finish i have an attention span of a whole 2 minutes 💀
my favorite thing about stormbringer is that it actually builds up on the concepts/themes introduced in Fifteen so it's a glimpse into what has changed in dazai and dazai & dhuuya after one year of being together. As much as it's about chuuya confronting his past and his identity this is also about dazai’s development from who he was in fifteen. chuuya and rimbaud both left their marks on dazai and in Stormbringer we see him, actually trying to emulate or follow in a sense a way of life, that chuuya and rimbaud represented. Stormbringer is not just about chuuya, abt his test of humanity, or he coming in terms with who or what he is. it's about dazai too. it's about dazai developing or at least attempting to develop what he calls “boyish”/ “ordinary” in Fifteen. its not about chuya having an identity crisis. in fact what we understand from Code 04's last section is that chuuya never considered it as his crisis and neither did dazai. so to dazai “saving chuuya is important, human or not doesn't matter” and when dazai gives chuuya time to think abt what the operation will cost him chuuya doesnt so much as flinch form his purpose. This goes on to show unlike verlaine he doesnt care about memory and certainly doesnt consider it as the only determinant of someone being human. He cares more abt yokohama and his friends and in that, in caring abt his “family”, he is just as human as the next person. whether he’s factually human or not comes secondary to his desire to save people. This is a message that the quality of being human has more to do with embodying human qualities or humanity than having memories and lineage. so yeah stormbringer is essentially about embracing humanity but this happens on 2 levels: both chuuya and dazai embrace humanity. Going back to the boyish or ordinary bit, im talking abt this segment:
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here dazai is shocked because he assumed everyone “gangsta” and everyone crazy powerful delighted in homicide, in deliberately indulging in the macabre. but he is proved wrong. He logically concluded that anyone with power more than average and belonging to the underground would kill people and delight in that because it’s a given they lack any kind of moral understanding. To that end, they’d be exalted at the prospect of relentlessly shooting a dead body, mutilating it and dishonoring it. The mafia code (any general mafia code) works in a way where honor and death goes hand in hand. So only the lowest of the low would do that to a dying person, who even when faced with certain death is loyal to his own organisation. This really shows that even within the mafia dazai is the only person whos like the devil incarnate. So yeah dazai at this sate far lower than even a mafia member. But chuuya who actually embodiess the mafia code and is incredibly loyal to his organisation and “family” [ putting family in quotes bc he himself calls his friends family 🥺] ofc kicks the gun away. From dazai’s pov chuuya being as insanely powerful as he is should also do the same. But chuuya comes along and suggests that even enemies should be shown respect where it’s due. And that is what an ordinary person, oblivious to mafia life (mafia life as in waht dazai makes of it) thinks. So in undermining the binary between “ordinary” and “mafia” chuuya proves that being mafia doesnt necessarily mean selling your soul to the devil and giving up the last smidge of humanity. In fact by embodying qualities like compassion and kindness and mutual respect, you can make the mafia a better place for yourself and for the other members. Now in Stormbringer, we see how this affected dazai. here dazai is introduced as someone mercilessly killing to set up the channel. 
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Now to expand the channel one would need to keep doing it right? To mercilessly kill ppl and stuff but instead what he does is hand the channel over to chuuya bc he knows chuuya wouldnt handle it like him. im not suggesting that dazai miraculously becomes v good or anything with dazai the key words is “try” or “to some extent” like in Fifteen when Chuuya asks “do u wanna live” he’s like “ not to that extent”. similarly its not to say he doesnt kill people anymore. it is that he tries to lessen the number of casualties by handing over one of the most troublesome channels to chuuya who would manage it in a much more humane way. That dazai draws from his friends/at least tries to is smth we’ll see again later on when he deals with akutagawa. He talks about odasaku and ofc its baffling to him that a mafia member as powerful as him would be taking acre of orphans. and dazai says but he cant afford to be that kind and proceeds to shoot akutagswa but again does so in a calculated way such that he doesnt end up killing him ( im NOT justifying dazai’s abuse not at all im just saying that its hard to believe he coincidentally knew the exact no of bullets that aku could block. and had odasaku’s words and his way of life not been in the back of his mind he could’ve ended up killing aku) coming back to chuuya and dazai we also see him avoiding further conversation on the jewelry channel thing as he says “leave that for now”. He does a similar thing again when mori brings up the concept of double suiciding with chuuya.
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 Its a HUGE thing for him to digest that him suiciding would inevitably spell the doom for chuuya. this puts an unimaginable responsibility on him. And he avoids further discussion on this. Now we know dazai is the rambly type. Even in the most dire moments he goe son with his LOONG monologues so really he is the last person who’d avoid a conversation but he deliberately does it in these 2 instances because its hard for him to grasp these things. That he can go against his nature and do a conscientious thing by handing over one of the most grisly channels to chuuya (i dont think dazai’s nature is evil. Or even if it is, its a a social construct keeping in mind the war ravaged times or its mori’s construct because he does exploit dazai to the hilt. but dazai ofc thinks of himself as non-human, devious. perfectly devilish...etc.) And also the fact that someone as suicidal as him is actually responsible for the life of someone else is really too much to take in. a whole 10 seconds pause indicates just how much he was thrown off when mori opened his eyes to the reality of things: if he dies, chuuya inexorably dies as a consequence. also i dont think the “wow” here or the next bit :
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is something jokey. if it was like haha double suicide with chuuya is the worst haha wanna do it w pretty lady kind of a deal. that pause would have been unnecessary. dazai’s immediate reaction would’ve been whining and shit. the use of “froze” too implies the gravity of the situation. so ofc what is “wow” is how much meaning his life has for someone else. and for some so much....better than him. and what is unacceptable is this sad, sad truth that his life (to which he ascribes no value) would be so inextricably linked with someone else’s and hold so much meaning to them. it is like when a suicidal person at the brink of suicide understanding his life is not his own. his life and death holds consequences for ppl surrounding him. so both of these are huge things to grasp and at both these times dazai is visibly shaken up so much so that he doesnt want to do his favorite thing- ramble in a condescending tone. smth he does in so many instances. this really is a testimony to the fact that things are changing in him. the redemption process has begun. he’s no longer the kind of maniac he was before he encountered chuuya. when zuko underwent his transition in atla he was so shaken up after one (1) right decision he had a fever. i think this is true for anyone who’s trying to change. change is after all a huge thing for everyone. ofc he’ll be unsettled. so anyways this is proof that he has indeed come a long way from being someone who revelled at the prospect of meaningless bloodshed.
now coming to the concept of love he assumes he’d get sick of love and die:
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and that death is the singular goal worth chasing after because it makes you feel more alive/get a fuller picture of what living entails. but here he is erring by supposing love is something that’ll bore him/have no meaning. and it cant provide him that “something” he’s looking for. at this point he hasn’t loved so he doesnt know whether he’ll be sick of it or if it'll have no impact. And yet he’s morose and regretful. this is a kind of self-imposed constraint hes putting on himself. he cancels out the v idea of love because hes convinced it isnt worth it. he hasnt even been in love okay scratch being in love that sounds romantic and i really dont mean love in a romantic sense here...its just love. in general. any form is cool. anyway so dazai is not familiar with any kind of love. He is entirely alien to the concept. he doesnt even know what a friend/partner is so he doesnt know what love is. this is cleared out here when rimbaud confesses he did everything for paul and dazai is unconvinced:
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chuuya ofc admonishes him and shuts him up for good, he says dazai has no right lookind down upon smth he doesnt understand. he doesnt understand friendship, love. or loyalty. or how important those feelings are at this point. now this situation is turned on its head in stormbringer. but before we go into that let’s look at the message rimbaud had for both of them. ik he specifically asks for chuuya to “live” but there’s purpose behind including both of them in the frame. it’s a message they should both take to heart. and at the end of it its implied both are changed after hearing it:
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and in this message the first bit is for chuuya. what he says is basically memory doesn’t make u human... ”you are you” just a frame or not doesnt matter. and even if hes just a frame, he is still beautiful. beauty actually is a v important concept in literature starting right from Plato to Shakespeare. i’d not bring this here but because bsd is so deeply rooted in literature i feel like the reference to beauty, and later on to soul and even warmth and also the universal tone of this message carries some meaning. so the thing is  both Plato and Shakespeare were endorsed the idea of love as a force awakened in the world by beauty which then leads the soul to perfection. so humans and by extension, all life are beautiful frames that can inspire love. this concept is also there in Romantic poetry like Keats and Wordsworth all of them talked about loving beauty in nature and how that can elevate the body mind and soul. so essentially in telling this to chuuya what ehe basically means is that chuuya just by being him, by being a beautiful framework can inspire love and warmth in others and thats a great purpose! how much chuuya understands of this purpose with his one (1) braincell and his low self esteem is questionable but he gets some sense of belonging. now this is a two way relationship so ofc dazai has to be factored in. he comes in the next part: 
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these are from 2 different translation so the disparity im sorry ;-; but anyway,  this last part abt the world being a cold place. then paul. then “warmth” is a message to dazai who’s been introduced to us as cold-hearted and having like no bearings of a human being. this is the reason why its important for both o f them to be there. now going back to chuuya being a beautiful framework, the framework can be beautiful in so far as its beauty is appreciate by someone and inspires warmth and love in someone. this again is the whole beauty/beholder nature/the romantic concept that is there in shakespeare and in Romantic poetry where both are a part of a codependent relationship. so what rimbaud implies here is that dazai can have that kind of a relationship with another person (chuuya) just like rimbaud had with paul which makes him warm and the world doesnt feel cold anymore. rimbaud has no regrets about what he did because. so the idea is that dazai and chuuya can share the same dynamic. also after this, the narrative says that their hearts are now changed and wont return to what they were before....and even their souls are refined in a way. but in Fifteen we dont have a concrete proof of how this happened bc the novel ends at this point. Instead, Stormbringer shows exactly how deep the impact of those words is: 
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this is the third instance of dazai showing hesitation and once again this has to do with chuuya. the seed of the dynamic that rimbaud was talking about  is already germinating in him. his reactions, his fidgeting, his hesitancy, in response to chuuya’s situation is such a big contrast to his cocksure self when he’s conversing with adam and verlaine. after this of course we have: 
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not only does he clearly express his concern but he gives chuuya 2 whole mins to make a decision and based on that he’s prepared to overturn the operation. the success rate of an alternative plan will ofc be lesser than the og one but that doesnt faze dazai. he’s ready to turn the tide for chuuya’s sake and if this is not development idk what is. just a year ago, he was someone to whom the concept of rimbaud going thru all that trouble for his friend was a lost concept. ironically enough, now he finds himself doing something that is along the same lines. he puts chuuya above his mission. to him, chuuya is more important than getting a satisfactory result. another bit that i wanna talk abt is that one controversial section where dazai says he’ll save chuuya, human or not, and then the justification is: 
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i think a lot of people got mad bc of this and honestly at first glance i was peeved too. as a chuuya stan some of the shit dazai has done so far did rub me the wrong way. i love skk obv but still those were moments that kind of left a bad taste in the mouth. i’ll discuss them later on bc stormbringer helps allay that feeling. coming back to the “i wanna see chuuya suffer” part firstly context is important. ofc someone like dazai cant be expected to be upfront about his feelings with ppl (or AI) he barely knows. so what be relays to adam, is only partly true and its actually a kind of a twist in concept. the things is, and this is  smth dazai knows all too well is that ppl suffer simply on account of being human. human suffering is brought on because humans, by virtue of being humans, feel. so when he says he’s willing to acknowledge chuuya as human despite what N and Verlaine said he’s already admitting that chuuya suffers. so there is really nothing “new” to see for him. he knows chuuya suffers already and he does too because they’re both humans trying to make it thru their messed up lives. also chuuya “ceasing to be human” is a p huge concern for him bc he himself is like that. just like with the suicide thing, it bothers dazai when someone else shares his situation/his fate like as long as his life is his own, he has no problem ending it whenever but the situation is complicated when someone else’s life span is determined by that decision. and similarly, as long as he is “no longer human” its not that much of an issue because he’s like resigned to a doomed fate but someone like chuuya ceasing to be human or worse yet never getting to know if hes human or not are pressing matters. so anyways what he actually means here is that in saving chuuya, he saves someone who suffers just like he does and in their case, even the cause of suffering boils down to a shared psychological conflict: what essentially constitutes being human and if im human or not. now this sharing of pain and suffering is the foundation of forming a connection with someone, which makes life a little better. here again, what rimaud imparted to dazai and chuuya is driven home. also dazai’s key anxiety is not finding meaning/anything. this “anything” can be assumed to be something that justifies life. so all his anxiety and frustration stems from the fact that there really is no discernible meaning to be found in the mechanism of life. so it is an empty pursuit because it is true that nothing can explain why feelings of pain and suffering are exponentially heavier than feelings of happiness or why after getting to experience one (1) free day we’re back to square one where life is grueling. these are questions that really dont have an answer so every time dazai like gazes into the abyss and says he didnt  find anything, he is not so much asking if he’ll ever find anything as swallowing the hard truth that there is nothing to be found, no singular entity exists that can magically justify everything. again drawing upon literature or philosophy more specifically, there’s a concept called Absurdism which says the only philosophical truth so to say is this that life is absurd and looking for meaning is futile. instead what we can do is accept that it is absurd and deal with it in the best way possible, by finding little sources and moments of happiness, and strewing them together so we feel somewhat content. even if it is just for a fleeting second. and this happiness/contentment amidst a wretched life (altho temporal) can be found in friendship, in sharing, and even in having fun with people you’re comfortable with! this is actually why dazai wants to save chuuya and now it may seem like im interpreting his words through the shipping lens but thats not so and it can be corroborated by looking into dazai’s words to odasaku. after chuuya, dazai’s next attempt at friendship was odasaku who he found “interesting”. now when odasaku sort of like threw hands and chose death over having to live a life without the orphans, dazai tried to stop him not by saying stuff like life is good. and things will def change for the better. but instead he admits that living is hard and the sense of void is ubiquitous and yet he doesnt want him to  up and die because then he would be sad. because the little comfort that he got from odasaku and something he probably assumed odasaku also got from him would be gone. [how much odasaku considered dazai a source of comfort remains unclear. in fact the reason odasaku gave up and died was because he did not have this. this feeling of sharing in someone else’s suffering and seeking comfort in friends in the real world. instead he was too vested in his ideal world. his over reliance on an entirely idealistic concept is actually what pushed him over the edge. and this would have been the case for dazai too had he not encountered and sought comfort and companionship in chuuya and eventually in odasaku ] so this again goes on to show how rimbaud’s words changed dazai’s heart. and in a way dazai really has been doing this unconsciously form the v beginning like by teasing chuuya continually in Fifteen. you dont expect someone as cold as him to indulge in friendly bickering and taunting so often but he does. that there is significance and even happiness in that is something he learns over time, after rimbaud’s words to him. although these things seem futile on the surface they give a moment’s respite. so although chuuya spinning dazai on a rope in stormbringer might seem weird to everyone, they still serve a purpose:  
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what shirase puts forward is particularly relevant here because neither dazai nor chuuya is fully aware of the extent of their feelings (or even what those feelings are like they dont know what label to put. so typical oblivious lovers) for each other or what they stand to gain just by driving each other nuts but there is something intangible but satisfying to be felt. a kind of contentment that helps him continue. one day at a time. there is no one great “thing” that can make him like wake up one day feeling like he doesnt want to die ever again. but again like i said before, the key word for dazai is “extent” so, these little things to some extent contribute to a sense of fulfilment which helps him keep death at bay. thats why he’s bent on saving chuuya bc he knows they can share in their suffering and make life better for each other. its not like he wants chuuya to suffer. chuuya will suffer nonetheless like every other human. but in suffering together there is something to be found so he doesnt want him to cease being human. 
this covers more or less the intertextuality between Stormbringer and Fifteen. i just wanna talk a bit more about a couple other moments in Stormbringer that i feel are p important because they put some things in the series in perspective and also made the dead apple moment 10x more emotional 🥺 one thing that really strikes me is the absolute fanon level of comfort that dazai and chuuya share in Strombringer. its like scenes form k-drama lol. 
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so yeah this stuff. compare this with dazai’s reaction @atsushi when he drops im not saying that its not just a joke and that what im saying should be the right way to look at this contrast. its not like that at all. but what this does is give an estimate to the readers just how close and comfortable dazai feels when its chuuya. and this plus everything i rambling on abt for so long also gives us an estimate about the sincerity of dazais feelings. now 2 things always bothered me : the fact that dazai actually left chuuya and the fact that after the fight against lovecraft he actualy deserted him (this again can ofc be construed as just a humorous bit but still it did leave a bad taste in my mouth) dazai leaving the mafia is ofc something he had to do to fulfil oda’s dying wish but it still dint sit right with me that he would abandon chuuya. just like oda levaing is harder on dazai, dazai leaving is harder on chuuya. its always harder on the one left behind. so anyway, these sorts of things sometimes made me doubt dazai’s feelings but now that stormbringer clears it all up i do think there is a larger motif at work here. when mori offers dazai to come back to the mafia in s2 we see him saying that it was mori who kicked him out and that he did so because he was afraid dazai would usurp his position. so he set it up in a way that dazai would be forced to leave but on his own accord. now more than usurpation i believe what mori really did fear is that dazai had no allegiance to the mafia (which is actually true) bc he doesnt have that sense of loyalty and that to him his friends were more important than swearing allegiance to mori. (which again is true). so by getting oda killed, the message that mori seemed to be giving out was if dazai didnt leave he would do it again. and if we consider ango’s betrayal which had already transpired at that point, the one mori would next target to sort of get at dazai would inevitably be chuuya. this is only conjecture but still, i do believe this might as well be true because then it would explain why dazai didnt carry chuuya back to the base after their fight [something he was v comfortable doing in Stormbringer. in fact in the first case he carries chuuya back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so he could hear albatross’ last words 🥺] its because mori needs to know unlike dazai, chuuya is absolutely loyal to him which regrettably he is. it kinda becomes imperative therefore on part of dazai to make it seem that way to mori. that they really are at each others throats and that dazai is insignificant to chuuya. and that the mafia comes before dazai. (which is not true bc we see chuuya protecting his friend [shirase] while also staying loyal to the mafia in Stormbringer) 
mori also in his own way tries to provoke hostility b/w them like in Dead Dpple when he was all like yeah so dazai is the star and chuuya is merely bait. so it kinda makes sense if dazai left the mafia not only to like do good work but also to protect chuuya from mori. also the fact that chuuya did the same thing— left the Sheep and joined PM to protect Shirase from the mafia makes be believe that my speculation is plausible given all the parallels we find between dazai and chuuya. 
and the last bit is about the brilliant Dead Apple scene and how much added context it gets in light of Stormbringer. 
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in this scene dazai first says: “you used Corruption believing in me?” and then the translation is “how beautiful” which is an okay translation but the exact thing dazai said was “nakasetekurerune” which literally is : youre gonna make me cry you know? now my knowledge of japanese is like duolingo level but i do know “nakasete” has to do with crying and “kureru” is used by the receiver to indicate he’s receiving a feeling/object from someone close. so basically chuuya trusting him is something so beautiful that it could almost move him to tears. now lets look at dazai’s intro in Stormbringer:
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dazai, being dazai, ofc would be able to tell genuine trust from fealty out of fear so ofc the fact that chuuya has this kind of blind faith in him is overwhelming for him. also stormbringer really expands on the sight effects of Corruption in full detail. its so PAINFUL and to think that chuuya would jump into it right away for dazai’s sake.....no wonder he is so soft when deactivating him. and then he proceeds to flirt for a little bit with the Snow White and the kiss of life reference. but this flirting doesnt seem even a little out of place now. it doesn't feel like smth meaningless or smth that dazai is just saying as a joke. that there is absoluetly no subtext to making a statement like that. instead that kind of flirting feels like smth inspired from a deep, deep familiarity with someone who really shares his heart and soul. when he talks to chuuya abt the problem of not knowing whether he is human or not, it is a problem that is as central to him as it’s to chuuya. not feeling fully reconciled to a human identity is a problem thats fundamental to both of them. I don’t think familiarity gets any deeper than this where you share the exact same psychological problem. so its really wonderful how we can trace the skk development now: what starts out as a crush on part of dazai or not a crush exactly rather, a feeling of perplexed admiration because chuuya is breathtakingly beautiful inside out, eventually gain all these layers and develops into something meaningful where they have so much faith in each other and where they literally help each other live. knowing someone out there shares your exact issue so you’re really not alone in this is perhaps the greatest comfort in the world. also now its clear how both of them would have turned out had they not met each other and had they not taken in rimbaud’s advice. chuuya in his desire to learn about himself and frustration at not being able to do the same would have perhaps spiralled downward and ended up becoming like verlaine. he is his double here after all. and had dazai not seen chuuya up close being the wonderful person he is, he too would have probably ended up developing a god complex and becoming like fyodor. dazai is there to save chuuya literally from dying a monster and chuuya is there to remind him he too can try and mend his ways and embrace his human side. after all chuuya has so much trust him in! (despite him having questionable methods) for both of them, it starts out as an attempt to be more human, then establishing a fruitful partnership, and finally coming in terms with their feelings to some extent. for dazai, he’s comfortable enough to engage in occasional flirting at this point and for chuuya it’s playing along with dazai’s antics (well with the ones he get 💀 pretty boy has half a functional braincell) and openly showing his concern for him. so really by confirming their feelings what strombringer does is enhance the skk development in a way that Dead Apple doesnt seem like fan service anymore. the fact that dazai would casually flirt or be comfortable with chuuya landing on his crotch 💀 all that isnt as ridiculous as it first seemed because stormbringer lays the groundwork and anticipates all the intimate/flirty skk moments that have happened till now and ig will happen again soon. 
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cuntess-carmilla · 3 years
Note
hi, you talk a lot about salting your drink and how important it is to get electrolytes to manage orthostatic intolerance. im pretty sure i have eds and some kind of orthostatic intolerance to go along with it and im thinking of replacing water mostly or completely with coconut water since its an electrolyte. i cant really figure out if that will help though? when i try to google it i cant really find much about adding salt to my diet and im not really sure the best way to manage it since i dont have a diagnosis. i started adding salt to the other things i drink like my tea and juice and i think it helped but i just started so im not sure yet.
(this is petewentzisblack1312 btw this is my main. thank you for indulging my fob talk)
(Hi again, sweetie! Talking to you was a pleasure.)
If you have EDS you have a 90% chance of having orthostatic intolerance (POTS being by far the most likely type) and an 89% chance of having MCAS, so be reassured in your suspicion there. It's WAY more likely to be correct than not.
Orthostatic intolerance can be a little different for everyone who struggles with it so if you're still unsure of how much salting your drinks/having electrolyte drinks could help you, you can go testing little by little, playing around with the balance between salt and water. For example, I have to keep different regimes for the cold season vs the hot season because sweating dehydrates me and heat dilates blood vessels, so orthostatic intolerance is bound to get worse during those months.
If you can get a blood pressure monitor you could have an even easier time finding your own balance with salt/electrolytes and water. I have a rather cheap one that goes on the wrist and it works great for me. It's helped me a lot, especially at finding what my ideal blood pressure + heart rate is. Usually for most people they consider it low blood pressure if it's below 120/80 (approximately) but that for me is already too low, I need to be at least at around 135/95 or my brain turns into pudding. My heart rate is a lost cause so as long as I'm not above 105 I can deal.
As for not having an easy time finding information about it, that's sadly to be expected. The medical field runs on a lot of dogma because reductive thinking is convenient. It's much easier to make blanket statements for all bodies than to make individualized recommendations taking into account the nuances of different bodies. Same as how most sources tell people to avoid all sugars and fats at all costs always despite that being bad for literally everyone, they do the same with salt, and since the medical establishment sees hypertension as bad (which it is) but hypotension as either neutral or good (WHICH IT ISN'T) they tell everyone to just avoid salt or anything else that can increase blood pressure, and drink gallons of plain water. There's not enough information readily available for orthostatic intolerance either so you have to dig or ask the right people.
The best info on this subject will come from people with orthostatic intolerance. If you use Twitter or are willing to create an account, I recommend you check the #NEISvoid tag which is a community for chronically ill people to vent, ask each other questions and just chat. I've learned a lot from the folks who post there and asked some questions myself.
The reason increasing salt/electrolyte intake instead of drinking too much water with not enough electrolytes in your diet helps with orthostatic intolerance is because the more pressure there is, the more oxygenated blood reaches your peripheral blood vessels and your brain, bringing to our cells the oxygen that they need in order to metabolize energy from the carbs we ingest. Oxygen is the "spark" that ignites the carb-based energy process. With lower blood pressure the blood doesn't move around enough and it stays mostly wherever the force of gravity and immediacy will take it.
We need oxygenated blood irrigation to keep our bowels moving (if you don't go for number 2 often enough, orthostatic intolerance might be the reason), our cells alive for longer and working properly, our muscles in less or no pain, our cognitive functions at best capacity, and so much more.
Another alternative or extra help for orthostatic intolerance is compression garments. There's knee-high socks, thigh-high socks, leggings and tights. The more your legs are covered by the garment, the more efffective they'll be, but they'll also be more uncomfortable. Not TERRIBLY, but it's not as breezy as wearing nothing and the hotter and more humid the weather the more you should be wearing them if you're using those as a treatment option. They're not hard to find online but they can be very medical-looking/ugly, there's some much cuter socks available but those are more expensive.
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stardancerluv · 3 years
Text
Gotham Surviving the Pandemic 2021
Part 2a
Summary: Trouble is never far away!
Roman felt fantastic, his club was buzzing again. He reached over to your hand and squeezed it.
You smiled looking over at him.
“I’m going around to say hello.” He stood, buttoning his suit jacket as he did. He turned to you. “Would you like anything?”
You went over to him and kissed his cheek. “Maybe one more drink?”
“I should have had that for my send off always.” You beamed and he smiled. “Certainly, love.”
Reaching into his pocket, he took out and then slipped his mask back onto place. One of the girls came over as if on a spring. It pleased him to see how attentive she was.
“Mr. Sionis?”
He smiled. “Not me, Y/N would like something though.”
He met your eyes. You shared a look and with a nod he went around the ocean that was his club, where he was the great white shark making sure territory was secured.
You gave him a warm smile before giving your attention to the girl. Your delicate fingers moving in your hair as you spoke.
He was soon making his way around. It was nice to not have to plaster a smile on his face. Though despite the mask covering his face as he made small talk which sometimes ran a little long, he would still smile. There was a part of him that was genuinely pleased to be open and that these people had chosen his club to go to.
Catching a shadow, he disappeared into its darkness to catch his breath. He wasn’t nervous but he was on edge. Another drink called his name, but he could not afford to. He had to be alert and not relax, he was not used to this anymore.
To feel better, he glanced over at you. He had always enjoyed watching you. Your eyes moved through the people. Were you looking for him, he wondered. Were you more at ease because of his promise. Sometimes he wished he knew what bounced around in your head. He was able to breathe again.
“Boss?” Victor’s raspy voice broke into his thoughts.
He stiffened and turned on his heel. “Yes?”
“Some men are demanding dances.”
“Seriously?” He rolled his eyes. “Where the fuck are they?”
“VIP lounge.” He exhaled harshly.
Storming out of the shadows he made his way quickly over to the lounge. It was the one place in his club where if you got tested you would not have to wear a mask. He knew he’d regret opening that up so quickly. Gritting his teeth he was fuming, they wanted a fucking dance the first night he’s open.
He practically tore open the door. “Who’s the one asking for a dance?” He growled.
The small group of men withered in their seats. He knew them. He wasn’t really surprised. They were low-level enforcers from Falcone’s and Two-Face’s crew. He tore off his mask.
“Seriously, you come to my club and start causing fucking trouble because we’re not offering private dances?” He snarled.
They shrank where they sat.
“Since none of you are fucking talking, get the fuck out.”
He smirked when he saw one begin to puff up. Roman walked right up to him. “Don’t even fucking think about it. This is my territory you are fucking in.”
Some grumbling angry looks were slid his way. But they all began to leave. He rubbed his temple. “What assholes.” He whispered to himself.
“You are my hero. They scared me, sir.”
He barely heard the squeaky voice or bracelets jingling as two arms wrapped around him. A sharp sweet perfume flooded his nose.
Jolting back to the situation, he turned his head, raising an eyebrow. She dropped her arms.
“Tell Victor to give you two hundred and go home, and get tested in the morning.”
She shrugged. “Thank you.” She squealed. “Thank you, Mr. Sionis.” She fluttered away.
Victor walked up a few moments later.
“Victor, tell me all the girls got tested.”
“All the girls got tested.”
Roman slid him a look.
“Yes, they got tested.” He scratched the back of his head. “I took their temperatures before they came in.”
“They were all legitimate?”
“Yes, cost a pretty penny but yeah. I made sure.”
“Good. Give Stacey two hundred dollars. Make sure she gets the test in the morning.”
“Sure.”
******
He looked into the club. He watched as you shifted where you sat, you were so lovely there at his table. He went to the elevator. He needed to clean. Stripping down so he was completely nude, he shoved it all down to the incinerator.
Turning the knobs to full, he let the scalding water rain down on him. He winced but he needed to be clean. He grabbed the soap and lathered up. Then poured shampoo into his hand and washed his hair. Finally when he felt like he could breathe, he lessened the heat. Stepping out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his hips.
Once in his closet, he dropped the towel and grabbed a shirt and a pair of pajama pants. After pulling them on he felt a little better, though the anger of those thugs acting like they did and that dancer made his heart beat in anger.
Going to his private bar he poured himself two fingers of whiskey. He quickly downed it and with a clink of the glass, he poured himself another.
“Roman! What happened?”
He turned to look towards you, your
heels clicked as you ran the short distance over to him. The sound of your voice and scent of your perfume continued to help calm him.
Seeing the anguish in your eyes, he pulled back and threw his glass across the room. It shattered.
“Roman?” You didn’t flinch. “Talk to me.”
“Some low-level enforcers were making trouble for one of the dancers. I threw them the fuck out but then the dancer in question hugged me.”
You didn’t step back. It made his throat tighten as a new wave of emotions washed over him.
******
You slipped out of your fancy dress and heels, now you were comfortable in one of your silken robes that hung loose.
“Allow me.” You smiled meeting Roman’s eyes in the mirror.
You wiggled where you sat. “Please.”
He smoothed his hands over your bare shoulders and to your throat. A deep pleased sound came from you.
“Allow me.” You gathered your hair and let him unclasp your necklace. He placed it on your vanity.
You reached back and held him close. “You did good tonight.”
He grimaced. “I did realize where before I had zero patience, now it’s less than that. Turning, you kissed his cheek.
“We’re in a new world.”
He rested his forehead against yours.
“We’ll get through this, just like we did the lockdown. But let’s not throw too many glasses, ok?”
He chuckled. “We’ll see.”
@spn-obsessed-dean @vintagemichelle91 @xxxeatyourh3artoutxxx @ewanfuckingmcgregor @zodiyack @angel98624 @frenchgirlinlondon @emyliabernstein @thepeachreads @nebulastarr @itsknife2meetu @omghappilyuniquebouquetlove @poe-kadot26 @babydoll97-blog1 @hazel-nuss @vcat55 @feelthemadnessinside @johallzy @foreverhockeytrash @frostypenguinoz @starwarsslytherin @professionalclown @chogisss @shantellorraine @xxinvisiblexx @blondekel77 @saphic-stories @drarrylov3r @i-cant-hear-you16 @deadlymistress24 @yesqueenofthelight @generallj @thebeckyjolene @blackmasque @mrskenobi19
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dontbesoweirdkira · 4 years
Text
Being Present Mic’s favorite student would include
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A/n: why don’t yall show my mans any love? Like damnn smh he just out here breaking people's eardrums and tingz and y'all cant even give him some acknowledgement or what not smh. Present Mic stans, you may now rise
-I imagine you’d be like that American exchange student and you laughed at a bad pun he did in english and he felt super special because no one ever understands the puns he does, so now he’s just constantly bothering you
-like you’re just walking down the hall, trying to get to class and you just hear 
-”HEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY Y/NNNNN MRS.AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAA.”
-*invoked with fear*
-Like seriously he won’t leave you alone…..at all
-”Y/NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN what’s upppPPp?”
-He love speaking in english to you because it’s keeps him refreshed and plus it’s fun seeing Aizawa all flustered because he only understands 60 percent of what you guys are saying
-You get used to him I promise, he’s actually like the sweetest little thing that wants the best for you uwu. Like if you’re a shy student he’ll break you out of your shell most definitely!!
 -He asks you to do his introductions because aizawa refused for the 1000th time but it actually was super fun so you don’t mind
-”GIIIVE IT UP FOR PRRREEEEEESEEEENNNTTTTTTT MICCCCCCCCC THE ONLYYYY ONEEE THATTT CAAAAN BREAAAAK YOUURR EARDRUUUMSSS AND WILL TO LIVVEEEE IN UNDER A MINUTE.”
-He did a super long hyped up into for you at the sports festival like and he kept cheering you on soo much he was like a soccer dad watching his little princess play her first game
-I swear he was wearing a shirt that said ‘Go Y/N!!’
-Everyone knows you’re his favorite like if you thought All might and Deku thing was a bit much well like he is on a whoooleeee new level
-Speaking of All might and little broccoli, there is an unspoken rivalry between All might and Present. They are always like
-”Haha did you see young Midoriya’s moves today? He is working so hard, he’ll be a great hero soon!”
-”Yeah of course, BuT did yOU sEE mY Y/N todaY????
-SocCeR DAdS
-You and deku kinda does friendly competitions just to watch the two teachers go at it
-”DEKU CLEARLY WON MIC.”
-”LISTEN YOU BLIND FOSSIL IT WAS Y/N!!”
-It was a tie tbh
-Always asking you about American slang and terms like brooo
-”y/n what’s a yeet? Someone told me  I need to yeet off a building and I kinda wanna do it for my next youtube video on youtube.”
-You helped him set up the youtube channel btw
-”so i say period after something truthful is said?”
-”YOUUUUUU ARE THE BESSSSTTTTTT STUUUUUDENTTT Y/NNNNN PERIOODDDD.”
-”like that?”
-You keep him updated on all the trends and make sure his outfits are looking good
-He lets you design a new logo for his brand
-Did I mentioned he’s like super sweet. Like one day you opened your locker to find a note he wrote for you.
-”Heeeeyyyyy Y/NNNNNNN, 
Whats upp best student evvvvvaaaaa???? I just wanted to say i’m proud of you and I heard from a little sleepy birdie (sensei Aizawa) that you aced your test in hissss claaaaaassss wooooooo!!!!! Because of that i mayyyyyyy haveee brought you ice cream that may or may not be in the fridge in the teachers lounge that you may or may not can get during lunch perioddd…… anyways MIC OUT!”
-He helps you control and project your powers when you are struggling with them
-Helps you with the weird Homework assignments All might and Aizawa gives you
-”wtf is this shit? This is your homework?? Hold on, I’m calling shouto .”
-Lets you sleep in his class
-He is like your personal translator if your japanese is a bit iffy or you don’t know how to say something
-Oh and Aizawa adores you also but like he keeps it on the down down low. Like people actually thinks he kinda doesn’t like you but that is not the case at all. Like he supports Mic’s constant spoiling of you and might throw in a gift or two with him.
-Aizawa looks at you guys as his two kids that he will literally protect at all costs. 
-If anyone is messing with you or you need something just yell out ”MR.HIZASHIIIIIII.” or “MR.AIZAWA” and he’ll be there in under a minute.
-Bakugou threatened you once, and Aizawa and Hizashi heard….lets just say he never messed with you again.
-Same goes for you, if anyone is teasing or talking wrongly about Present Mic, you’ll square up any day.
-”yeah he’s like so weird and does he realize that no one thinks he’s cool like stop trying so hard.”
-FigHt mOde ActIvaTeD
-You got in trouble but it was totally worth it and Mic was super flattered but as a teacher he still had to discipline you. He high five you tho and said he wasn’t mad and he only got you in trouble because the other teachers would have bashed him for favoritism
-Once you get more comfortable with him, You guys have like daily talks about anything and everything, he’s a really good listener and will listen to your weekly rants.
- Despite being a literal crackhead, he is super wise and has a lot of knowledge so if you need advice, just ask.
-Knows when you aren’t feeling your best and tries his all to make you smile, it usually ends up working and you’re just laughing at his bad jokes and he’s like
-”YYyyyYYYYy/NNNNNNnnnnnnNNNNNNnNnnn IS FEELiNG BEtTTeRRR  YAYayYAAY!”
-He’ll let you hide out with him and Aizawa when there’s a bunch of kids are crowding you and asking questions about your home country or when school is just overwhelming
-”MR.HIZASHIII THEY ARE AFTER ME AGAAAAIIIIN.”
-He’d 10/10 adopt you if he could
-He invited you on his radio show like twice, it actual helped gained a lot of listeners from a younger audience and even some international people listened in as well. It was actually pretty fun, of course you were a bit nervous you weren’t sure to expect but it was reallly cool. It was almost like an interview, he asked you a few questions about yourself and your school life even opinions on different heros or what not.
-DO NOT AND I REPEAT DO NOT LET THIS FOOL KNOW YOUR BIRTHDAY, HE WILL EMBARRASS YOU INFRONT OF THE WHOOOOLEEE SCHOOL I SWEAR NO ONE CAN STOP HIM
-”But Mr.MIcCCcCc plEAsE Dontttt iTs NOt A BIg DeaL.”
-”i must y/N….LETSSS A BIGGGGGGG HAPPY HAAAAAPPPPYYYYY BIRTHDAAAAYYYYY TOOOO Y/NNN L/NNNN-”
-you died 
-He got a little cake made for you, it had little candies and sparklers on it. It was mega adorbs.your name was also on it but it was spelled wrong. 
-”Here ya go Y/N! Sorry your name is spelled wrong...i tried to fix it but it got all smudged so i just left it.” 
-For his Birthday, you made a picture frame that had a selfie with the two of yall and gave him a little card that said, “Happy Birthday The best teacher evaa! You’re super great and I hope one day we can fight side by side and be the best duo in history! Enjoy your day old man. -The best student evaaa”
 -You teamed up with eraser head to throw a little surprise party for him at a cute little restaurant and he ended up crying sksksksksksdnjksk it was so soft.  
-At the dance you didn’t have a date or anything so ya boi Mic danced with you and it was uwu like super soft. He even walked around with you a bit and let you wrap your arm around his, like he’s the best teacher seriously
-At the end of the year when it was time for you to go back to America, he was devastated like seriously he’d miss you and y’alls antics. He practically begged you not to go back. Yeah he held your leg and cried on the floor….Aizawa had to pull him off of you so you could leave 
-”Don’t cry Mr.Hizashi!! I I’ll see you again one day! Thank You so much for being an awesome teacher this year, I’ll miss you.”
-you actually got approved  to come back the following year but you kept it a secret so you could surprise him when you walk in his class again.
-he was big boi shocked 
-”YYYYYYYYYYyyYYyyYyYYy/NNnnNnnNNNnnn SKDJNKHDKSK YOU’RE BACKKKKK WHERES AIZAWA I GOTTA tELL HIM SILDKSISJSSKKSNJSK DID YOU CUT YOUR HAIR OMHDNKJD  ITS SO CUTEEE AHHHAHSHJSHSJHS AZIAWAAA LOOK AT OUR LITTLE GIRL SSKLKSMLS.”
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steen-to-live-life · 3 years
Text
Sooo any update!
Start with the bad news..
- Our 3rd transfer failed 😔
- I just cannot understand how we are having so many issues.. healthy BMI, exercise, strong relationship, no drugs, smoking, little alcohol etc, when people over weight/druggies/alcoholics can get pregnant just like that.
- We are now 1 more failed transfer away from spending another 25k for a third round of IVF. That's a total of $65,000 to have a chance at a child. Its fukn sucks guys. That's one of our incomes for the year.
- we miss out on any extra financial support because we havent been trying for 5 years, and because my egg reserve is too low to qualify for a multi IVF pack.
- The doctor wants to do more blood tests and minor surgeries now to see why.. part of me wants to transfer the final one so we know where we are at.
However, positive news
- WE WENT UNCONDITONAL ON OUR LAND!! 🎉🎉🎉🏡
- We met the builder yesterday and I'll draw some ideas (lol, I should show u guys my little notebook) and he will quoe it for us. We are both really excited to have something positive and distracting to keep us going. Its going to have some cool bits that show us
- I'm very scared about the extra costs we may be heading towards with IVF and the mortgage but we cant just keep waiting and waiting for a child who doesnt seem to be coming.
- Send me all your super awesome home snaps to give me ideas!!
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enbyfrogintraining · 3 years
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I’m doing a research paper on ADHD and wowowow (This is an info dump)
I’m a neurodivergent, and currently for my senior English class we are doing a research paper.. I chose to do mine on how attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, otherwise known as adhd can be misdiagnosed as and how it can be misdiagnosed and here;s an entire list.
Bipolar Disorder
Ocd
Anxiety
ADD
Trauma
High Intelligence
AUTISM
PTSD
Low Blood Sugar
Sensory Processing Disorders
Learning Disorder
High Energy
A Sleep Disorder
Hearing Problems.
The List goes on, The fact that there are so many things that can be misdiagnosed as adhd and that most parents only go to one doctors visit to get tests, when it is highly recommended that you go to a pediatrician and a doctor to make multiple visits for tests to get done. The cost is so high that most people in the American health care system cant afford it. Twenty percent of the 4.5 million kids diagnosed are most likely misdiagnosed. it only gets harder to get a proper diagnosis as you get older due to symptoms being less severe and easier to manage. 64 percent of the entire community most likely has other mental disorders that go mistreated and unchecked.
Please, do better. Take the proper steps to get diagnosed properly, if given the wrong medicine your disorder can get worse, symptoms can get so much worse. 
do better america.
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grailfinders · 3 years
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Fate and Phantasms #81: Jekyll and Hyde
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As we get closer to Thanksgiving, it’s important that we all take a moment and think about what we’re thankful for. Despite this year, I’m thankful I don’t have an alternate personality that wants to kill everyone around me. Jekyll & Hyde will have to think of something else.
Their build’s breakdown is under the cut, or you can check out their character sheet over here!
Next up: Bodybuilding gone wrong! (or right, depending on your point of view.)
Race and Background
Jekyll is a Human, giving him +1 in all ability scores. He’s also the textbook definition of a Haunted One, giving him Arcana and Investigation proficiencies as well as severe trauma.
Ability Scores
Your highest stat will be your Intelligence- you’re smart, if a bit reckless when choosing test subjects. Your Strength comes second, you may be a Victorian Englishman, but half of you is a serial killer, that has to count for something. Third is Dexterity- both versions of you are good with a knife, and you only want your other half dead, so your AC shouldn’t be too low. You’re repressed as hell, but the other half of your is terrifying, so that averages out your Charisma a bit. Your Constitution’s not too great- again, you’re a Victorian Englishman. Finally, dump Wisdom. One half of you tested chemicals on yourself, the other’s a berserker, it’s just not your strong suit.
Class Levels
1. Rogue 1: Jekyll’s an assassin in FGO, and a rogue here. He would be a good fit for a certain hunter of blood subclass, but I like to save the non-canon or technically rule-breaking bits for joke levels, so they can be easily taken out if needed- I’m not building half a character as a blood hunter. 
When you pick the class, you get proficiency in Dexterity and Intelligence saves, as well as four skills- Acrobatics and Stealth go to Jekyll, and Deception and Intimidation for Hyde. On top of all those proficiencies, you can double up on that with Expertise in two skills. Let’s buff up Arcana so you can learn how to make that potion already and Deception so no one knows when you’re the other you. You also get a Thieves’ Cant to help you talk to other rogues, and a Sneak Attack which you can use if you have advantage with a finesse weapon, or there’s another ally within 5′ of the target.
2. Barbarian 1: After you get some of that good murder juice, you also become a barbarian. You can go into a Rage, getting advantage on Strength saves and checks, extra damage on strength based attacks, and resistance to physical damage types. Also good to note: sneak attack only requires a finesse weapon- you don’t have to use dexterity on the attacks, so you can rage and sneak at the same time. You also get an Unarmored Defense, giving you an AC based on your Dexterity and Constitution When not wearing armor. It’s not any better than your normal AC, but we’ll work on that.
3. Rogue 2: Second level rogues can make Cunning Actions, letting you dash, disengage, or hide as a bonus action. You’re not one for fighting, until you suddenly are.
4. Barbarian 2: At this level, Hyde can make Reckless Attacks, getting advantage on all attacks this turn in exchange for enemies having advantage on him until his next turn. He also gets a Danger Sense, giving him advantage on dexterity saves from effects he can see.
5. Rogue 3: We’re making Jekyll a Swashbuckler rogue this level. It’s admittedly a strange subclass, but you could say this is part of Hyde’s intimidation tactics leaking into your normal way of doing things. When you take the subclass, you gain Fancy Footwork, preventing creatures you attack from making opportunity attacks against you for the turn. You also have Rakish Audacity, adding your charisma modifier to initiative rolls. You can also use your sneak attack if you and your target are the only creatures within 5′ of each other. Speaking of your sneak attack, it increases to 2d6 at this level.
6. Barbarian 3: At this level Hyde becomes a Berserker. I mean, he was one already, but now he’s one in D&D too. This lets him go into a Frenzy when he rages, letting him make a weapon attack as a bonus action at the cost of gaining a level of exhaustion after the frenzy ends. Thankfully Frenzy is optional, and you probably shouldn’t use it. 
7. Rogue 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to become an Actor, increasing your Charisma by one and getting advantage on Deception checks to pose as your other self. You can also mimic other creatures you’ve heard for at least a minute requiring an insight check contested against you deception to see through it.
8. Barbarian 4: Use your next ASI to round out your Strength and Constitution scores for better brawling.
9. Rogue 5: Fifth level rogues can make an Uncanny Dodge as a reaction, halving incoming damage from one attack. Combine this with your rage resistances, and you can eat up a lot of damage. Also, your sneak attack deals 3d6 this level.
10. Barbarian 5: Fifth level barbarians get an Extra Attack with each attack action, letting you make two attacks per turn (or three if you really want to w/ Frenzy). You also get Fast Movement, giving you an extra 10′ of movement speed.
11. Rogue 6: At sixth level, rogues get another round of Expertise. Pick Intimidation for Hyde, and Stealth for Jekyll.
12. Barbarian 6: Sixth level berserkers can go into a Mindless Rage, preventing you from being charmed or frightened for the duration of your rages. If you’re charmed when going into a rage, you’ll still be charmed when you come out. Be careful though, just because Hyde isn’t charmed doesn’t mean he won’t stab you.
13. Rogue 7: Seventh level rogues learn Evasion, so you take half damage on failed dex saves, and no damage on successes. When combined with your proficiency, Danger Sense, and good dex score, fireballs won’t be an issue for you. Also, you deal 4d6 when you sneak attack.
14. Barbarian 7: Seventh level barbarians have a Feral Instinct that gives you advantage on initiative rolls, and you can ignore being surprised by raging. Hyde’s always waiting for a chance to break free, and a good shock might be enough to do it.
15. Rogue 8: Use this ASI for more Strength, giving you stronger and more accurate attacks.
16. Barbarian 8: Also bump up your Dexterity with your next ASI for a better AC and stealth.
17. Rogue 9: Ninth level swashbucklers get Panache, letting you make a Persuasion check against a creature’s Insight check to either make you the focus of their fighting or charm them for a minute. It’s unfortunate that you can’t use Intimidation for this instead, but that’s for homebrew to decide. Also, your sneak attack goes up to 5d6.
18. Barbarian 9: Ninth level barbarians get a Brutal Critical, letting you add an extra die to critical hits. That’s not much for you, considering you’re already throwing 10d6 onto your crits, but every bit helps.
19. Rogue 10: Use your last ASI to bump up your Constitution for more health and a better AC.
20. Barbarian 10: Your capstone level nets you the berserker feature Intimidating Presence, letting you frighten a creature as an action. If it fails a wisdom save based on your charisma, it’s frightened until the end of your next turn. However, you can use your action each turn to extend the effect without needing another saving throw.
Pros: 
Unless you’re super into RP (or into playing half-level characters), you’re not going to be playing Jekyll or Hyde completely separate from each other. And that’s great, because Barbarians and Rogues mix very well. Rages and Danger Sense mix with Uncanny Dodges Evasion, respectively, to make you very hard to damage, even when your AC makes you easier to hit than a standard tank. Plus, barbarians love to deal crits, and rogues love it too, so you’ll be dealing tons of damage thanks to Sneak Attacks mixed with Extra and Reckless Attacks
You’re an expert in impersonation and stealth, so you’re great at getting the drop on people, a useful skill for serial killers.
Combining Fast Movement with Fancy Footwork and Uncanny Actions can make you very mobile on the battlefield, dealing damage while keeping yourself in a good position.
Cons:
The way we set up this build isn’t the most graceful way to level up a character, shoving all your ASIs into the same general area means you’ll be weaker than the rest of the party in the levels immediately before them. Also, you’re waiting until level 5 just to get your subclass features.
Your Low Wisdom means you’re very easy to charm and fool. Your rages can keep you from fighting the rest of the party (more than usual), but they can’t help against illusions.
Your main source of damage is still a regular Dagger, so flying enemies or ones that resist nonmagical damage can be a pain. But you’re just as much of a pain to kill, so it’s only fair.
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xaidyl · 4 years
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You could explain individual stuff! I find these explanations very fascinating, actually! OwO
okay! lets do this (this may be a very long post with lots of my random opinions but we’ll go with it) (and also please bear in mind these are jokey and in no real way a representation of these real people with real actual lives.)
***spoilers for most D20 seasons with this cast***
1.The babysitting 
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Actual parent:Brennan 
From my experience DMing, you are effectively a parent to the players. He would also be an excellent dad
Wine aunt: Siobhan
Siobhan gives me vibes of someone who would take a bottle of wine to go babysit, then sit and tell the kids stuff about cults that they weren’t meant to hear. She would definitely teach the kids swear words, and they would love their cool auntie 
Great at babysitting: Lou
Part of the key to babysitting is being relatable to the kids, but also self assured enough to get them to behave. the person who holds that key is Lou Wilson. He also has played dad-energy characters, and that is the kind of vibes that you look for in a babysitter. 
Mediocre at babysitting: Murph
This scenario needs some theatre of the mind. Imagine Murph, he’s read all the babysitting books, he knows everything he could need to know, he lives with Emily Axeford. He’s more than prepared for this task. He tries so hard. The kids love him. The kids also walk all over him. They don’t get to bed in time. He wanted to do a good job. He tried so hard to do a good job. Yet somehow, luck is against him. 
The house is on fire, God is dead: Emily
Fig. Sofia. Jet. All three of these characters would set a house on fire without hesitation, and not one fears God. What does this have to do with Emily’s babysitting ability? Well, all these characters are teaching us to be chaotic beings, just like Emily. We are the children, and D20 is our babysitter. Emily would only replicate the same thing in this babysitting scenario. 
The children: Zac and Ally
I believe it was episode 9 of the unsleeping city. Neither Zac nor Ally were involved in the scene in question. Siobhan makes a reference to Eliza Doolittle, to which Zac makes a Dr Doolittle joke. Beardsley then shouts ‘I can see my dick’, a reference to a different film. This is fairly normal behaviour, and would not make either of them children in this scenario, had they not continued to hysterically laugh for the next ten minutes or so. Sat at opposite sides of the table. I think Zac starts crying at some point. They are absolute children, and also both have strong baby energy. Neither babysit, they are the ones that need babysitting. 
2. Can they be killed?
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Cannot be killed: Brennan
The man is a God. Enough said. Also I’m pretty sure your body would reject your soul before it allows you to kill him. 
Can only be killed by one thing: Siobhan
You would be tricked into thinking Siobhan would be easy to kill- her constitution score is so low, after all. However, you would be wrong. The low constitution score has only made her stronger. More aware. What is the one thing that can kill her, though? Nobody knows, she’s only told those she truly trusts. It could be the most rare poison in the world. Or it could just be Mike Trapp. He (allegedly) has previous.
Can be killed but it won’t last: Emily
It is not anything to do with Emily that her death won’t last. In fact, Emily would be pretty easy to kill. However, if you kill her, Murph will do everything in his power to bring her back. He travels to the end of the earth, and then Emily Axeford is back and gets her new death date in a fancy gothic necklace.
Can be killed but at what cost?: Lou
What cost? The cost to the world. The world would be significantly worse off. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself. It’s not worth it.
Can be killed but it’s not worth it: Murph
It’s not worth killing Murph because you would have precisely 0.7 seconds before you were killed by Emily. There is no way you can profit from this scenario, you would be dead before you even realise you’ve been successful. 
Can be killed and it would be pretty funny: Zac
I feel like we don’t discus the correlation between Zac Oyama characters and dying enough. Gorgug was the first D20 death. Lapain was the first D20 perma death. Ricky just like had a weapon that causes him to die. If you killed Zac, it would just be funny because its happened so much. Sorry Zac.
Can be killed but why would you, you monster?!?!: Ally
We’ve already discussed this. Beardsley is Baby. Leave them alone. 
Please kill them they suck: Box of Doom
I dont trust them
3. The fitness gram pacer test
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this is definitely the most controversial of the charts, but there’s three of things you need to understand about my reasoning.
1. Zac is fast at running  
This has been seen a couple of times, namely: adventuring party, where Zac tried to tease Brennan about showing off how fast he his at running, but it turns out it was just Zac speaking his mind, and he is the one who always shows off at how fast he is at running. Also, the video on Siobhan’s instagram of Zac jumping over that table. 
He is also very bad a squats. Why would you be bad at squats? Bad knees. Why would you get bad knees? Running without sufficient warm up. Why would you skip warm up? Because you are very focussed on being able to run fast. 
2. Zac is willing to defend his title of running fast
The way he accused Brennan on adventuring party, he knew what he was doing. Sabotage. Brennan may also be able to run fast, but Zac would prevent him from getting a good score. How? He has his ways. Zac is a good boy, but not when it comes to running fast.
3. I felt bad
I had to give Zac at least one good one :)
Anyways onto the other choices:
Actually tried and got a low score: Brennan, Murph, Siobhan
We’ve already spoken about how Zac sabotaged Brennan to be the best at running. Murph is here because he would try really hard but something unlucky would happen. His shoelaces come untied. He accidentally gets caught in the Zac/Brennan feud. 
Siobhan started off with the intention to try, but after Lou, Emily and Ally had all done, she realised they were in fact much more interesting than the fighting going on. She walks out mid lap 
Didn’t try, got a low score, doesn’t give a shit: Lou and Emily
Its important to understand that both Lou and Emily are capable of getting a high score, they are just better than the whole thing. Why is their DnD group doing a pacer test? Why did Zac suspiciously force them to do this whole thing? 
The difference between them is Lou knows the feud is stupid and has like actual work to do? He sits and auditions for some other big film. He still watches over his laptop. 
Emily however, simply wants to watch the world burn.
Despite their different approaches to the situation, they both have a bet going on who’s going to be the fastest runner.
Ran one singular lap and finished: Ally
Ally Beardsley shows up at the track wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt that is impracticable to run in. They have a llama with them. At no point do they explain this. They walk round the track once, drink their water from a plant pot, then spend the rest of the time cheering on the others with words that don’t quite make sense. 
4. Storming Area 51
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They cant stop us all: Zac and Brennan
Neither mean it maliciously, but both believe entirely in what they are saying. 
Brennan is definitely the guy to go mad over a conspiracy theory. He made all the crown of candy NPCs. He is basically betraying himself. He knows not to trust anyone. He doesn’t trust area 51. The next season of dimension 20 is this as a subliminal messages all the way through. 
Zac says it accidentally. He’s making a character for the charity livestream. He’s still got a hundred hours of character making left. He’s done so many bad squats. Unintentionally, he makes a character that forces all the zesbians to storm area 51. 
Have fun getting shot, dumbasses: Lou
The rest of the cast are being weird again. Lou is equally as capable of being weird, but sometimes they need to chill. It starts with Emily talking about diner ice. It finishes with Brennan wearing a foil hat at all times. 
You guys stop, someones actually gonna do it: Murph
Murph is a good, lawful boy.
Actually shows up: Emily and Siobhan
They ride a motorcycle there together. They wouldn’t have gone alone, but as a duo they are an unstoppable pair. Emily wants to break into a government facility. Siobhan desperately want to be in the real life x-files.
One of the Aliens: Ally
Emily and Siobhan open a door at area 51. Behind it is Ally Beardsley. They are wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt. They have a llama standing behind them. This is not explained at any point. They drink from a flower pot and eat a quesadilla that appears out of nowhere. 
5. Stabbing 
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Would never stab anyone: Murph
Murph is a good, lawful boy
Would stab in retaliation: Lou, Murph, Zac
Lets be honest, the entirety of a crown of candy so far has been these three taking stabs (or metaphorical ‘where is your bulb now’ stabs) as retaliation for a stab another one of these three had done.
Yells “I won’t hesitate bitch” first: Ally and Siobhan
I can’t really explain this one much more other than i’m pretty sure both these people have said this phrase at least once in their life.
Would stab as a warning: Emily
This would be promptly followed by Murph getting her to stop stabbing. Or, depending on the situation, encouraging her to keep stabbing.
6. The water fountain
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Fills up a bottle and drinks from it: Lou and Siobhan
This is the normal way to drink from the water fountain. They were also both very concerned at watching Beardsley’s various different drinking apparatuses in adventuring party. 
Bought 4 water bottles so this wouldn’t happen: Murph
He is prepared. Something probably still goes wrong, but at least he’s got three water bottles left. 
Drinks straight from the tap: Brennan
Brennan is a busy guy. The tap is there, it’s convenient, he needs to get back to planning. There’s so many campaigns, so many characters, so many voices. 
Dehydrates: Zac
Honestly I’m not sure if this man would drink water if nobody told him so
Drinks from a puddle: Ally
like they drink from a vase with a flower, a puddle really isn’t that much of a stretch.
Licks the tap: Emily
She just wants to see the world burn. Also, she knows Brennan drinks straight from the tap. She has to get payback somehow. 
7. A child starts crying
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Makes the child laugh: Lou
We’ve already discussed how Lou has dad energy. I feel like he’s know exactly what to say and how to act to get the child to stop crying. This is less stupid than the rest of my explanations, but I always love how expressive Lou is when he plays dnd. I’m not sure whether its the way he holds himself or the way he gestures, but I’m pretty sure if I was a crying child, I would stop crying if Lou Wilson told me a joke in that very soothing point.
Tries to play with the child: Siobhan and Ally
These two kinda give me older/younger sibling vibes. As a team I recon they could create a game that would calm this child down. Also Ally knows techniques to help adults calm down, they could probably implement these ideas into a game for children.
Gives detailed instructions: Murph
His knowledge comes from the books he has read to learn how to babysit, and the one time he babysat. His explanation is rather frantic however, mostly because he is trying to defend Emily in his answer.
Cries with the child: Zac
He’s sad because all his friends are speaking to this child an nobody noticed how fast he just ran.
He’s also baby, as we’ve said previously, so he probably relates to the child somewhat
The reason the child is crying: Emily and Brennan
The child just watched episode 9 of a crown of candy. 
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oligbia · 3 years
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Liv I’m starting band camp again tomorrow, gonna cry. Joy or fear? Yet to be determined but half my grade leftttt and it’s a seniors only day tomorrow “for prep”
hi hun! You came to the right person hehe.
First of all, congrats on being a senior! I didn't get my senior season bc of covid, so for my sake- appreciate every fucking moment of it. between you and me (and everyone else who sees this) Ive cried almost every day the last week dropping my sister off at band camp bc i miss it so much. So, appreciate this season for what it is. Our band has a saying, "pain is temporary, music is forever" and i've never heard more true words in my whole life. Band is forever, y'know?
but i digress, i can for sure give you advice on how to be a good leader! i assume thats what youre here for heh. I was section leader for 3 years. I got there because, much like yourself, a lot of people quit and someone had to do it :D So my best advice-
1. Fake. Confidence. I swear to god that goes farther than you think. Pretend you know what youre doing, make shit up as you go, act like youre going to win even when you know your band isnt going to place well, pretend you know the music when you for sure dont- it will work i swear
2. be everyone's friend. People like listening to you when they think its coming from a friend rather than a boss. I did this, worked really well, everyone called me mom for 2 years. Slight downside, low brass boys will try to date you- dont date band kids it isn't worth it. they will traumatize you (personal experience) Espeically be friends with newbies! I think making friends with the middle schoolers who weren't in my section really helped me feel like a leader.
3. have fun, be fun. yes band is hard and long and tiring and 90% of the time your dehydrated- but it can still be fun! omg my section had these tiny pumpkins we would bring to rehearsal and sit on the sidelines, it made shit so much more fun! People will love having you as a leader when youre fun!
4. Teamwork is so important. My own section joked we were a democracy and I was a president. Which my directors gave me a lot of shit for- but then ended up asking me to teach leadership because of it. I did the stuff like teaching to march and teaching music sure, but in the end my section was a bunch of equals. If one person fucked up and we had to take laps- we all took laps. If one person had to do a playing test- we all did playing tests. But even beyond that, be willing to work with your other seniors! A band is not just one person, its a group. It only works as a group, and if the whole group isn't on the same page then the band wont work- so i cant stress the idea of teamwork enough.
I hope that helps. Please god remember to drink water! Hydrate or Diedrate! Use lots of sunscreen, avoid dairy at all costs, and don't forget an extra pair of socks for the 12 hour days :) I wish you and your band the best this season :D
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