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timptoe · 2 years

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WIP Monday

From the Kaidan/mShep chapter of the Joker fic I’m having too much fun writing. Shenanigans!

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3 years, 2 months, 21 days before Hackett’s order to retreat, SSV Normandy SR-1, en route to Feros

“Relationships between officers that are unduly familiar, do not respect differences in rank and grade, and/or may be prejudicial to good order and discipline are prohibited.”

- Alliance Naval Code 5370.2D

“So how long have LT and the commander been a thing?”

Joker pauses in mid-chew as Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams drops her tray onto the table, her butt into the chair across from him, and a grenade into the evening’s conversation.

She stares at him expectantly. He stares back, momentarily speechless.

“A thing?” Tali asks from beside him. “What does that mean, ‘a thing’?”

Williams cocks an eyebrow, dumping the cup of gravy unceremoniously over the whole of her plate. She nods towards Joker. “He knows what I mean.”

Joker swallows the bite of whatever it was he’d put in his mouth—he’s having trouble remembering at the moment—and says, “They’re not.”

Williams snorts.

“What is ‘a thing’?” Tali asks again, puzzled.

Joker ignores her, repeating, “They’re not.”

Williams rolls her eyes and chuckles. Through a mouthful of gravy-smothered, rehydrated chicken, she says, “Yeah, okay. I was born in the morning, but it wasn’t this morning.”

“What?” Joker scrunches his face up at the decidedly planetbound turn of phrase. Ashley grins, chewing all the while.

“Liara, do you know what they’re talking about?” Tali turns to the asari as she sits down next to Ashley.

“No?” Liara answers.

“Ashley says Shepard and Kaidan are a thing,” Tali says, putting weight on the last word.

“They are not a thing,” Joker mutters.

“What kind of a thing?” Liara says, confused.

“This is my question.”

Williams pierces Joker with that thrice-damned eyebrow. “Look over there and tell me you don’t see it.”

“Look where?” Liara says, glancing about the mess.

“See what?” Tali says with growing frustration while Joker glares, also with frustration.

“Ash, I was enjoying my dinner, do we really need to—“

“Yes, because I can’t be the only who sees it,” she says, wicked gleam in her eye. “Look. Over. There.”

“Oh, for the goddess’ sake, where?” Liara says with exasperation.

Ash points with her fork at the pair standing on the opposite side of the mess, engaged in some sort of conversation over one of the diagnostic consoles next to the sleeper pods.

Staff Commander Shepard. Staff Lieutenant Alenko. Working.

“They’re working,” Joker gruffs, spearing a cooked carrot with his fork.

“I don’t see anything.” Tali squints in their direction. Or, turns her helmet slightly in such a way that Joker’s come to interpret as squinting.

This is not how he thought dinner was going to go.

“You don’t see anything? You don’t see anything?” Ash waves her fork in their direction, a spot of gravy arcing off of it in Joker’s direction. He idly—and precisely—calculates that the gravy will land right on top of his pile of dry carrots.

And it does. With a plop.

He sighs.

“Ashley, you’re going to have to give me more than that,” Tali says, head still cocked.

“Oh come on,” Williams says, “I can’t seriously be the only one who thinks they’re together.”

Liara’s eyes widen, saying, “They’re together?” as Tali cocks her head the other way, simultaneously saying, “Wait, are they not?”

Joker thunks his head into his hands, Ashley cackling with glee. Stars, explode the drive core now.

She jabs her fork at Joker now, triumphant. “See? I’m not the only one! They’re a thing.”

“They’re not a thing,” Joker says irritably, crossing his arms.

“Oh, that’s what thing means in this context.” Tali nods sagely.

“Tali thinks so,” Ash says, smugness radiating through her mouthful of food.

“You don’t?” Tali looks at Joker.

“I’m not having this conversation.”

“Oh come on, why not?”

“One’s our CO and the other’s your marine detail leader, and also it’s none of my business, and also I don’t care, that’s why.”

Liara furrows her brow. “They are together, then? That would explain…” She trails off, lost in thought.

“I figured it was obvious from the moment I came onboard,” Tali says. “They’re always in each other’s space—“

Ashley picks up the thread, “—and the way they’re always not-quite-looking at each other��“

“—oh, and the way Shepard laughs! It’s different around Kaidan,” Tali continues.

“You guys, there’s no way they’re together. There’s no way!” Joker says crossly.

“Why do you think that, Jeff?” Liara inquires.

“One word: fraternization.”

The word hangs in the air a moment before Tali hesitantly says, “Sorry, I don’t think my translator quite got that. What was that word?”

Ashley huffs and shakes her head. “‘Fraternization.’ It means ‘relationships between crewmates.’”

“And it’s against Alliance regs,” Joker adds, “which is why those two are not a thing.”

Ashley rolls her eyes. “Right, because Shepard clearly cares about regs. Have you seen him drive the Mako?”

“No,” Joker answers, gesturing to the crutches behind him.

She stifles a chuckle. “Okay, well, you’ve certainly had to rescue us from enough narrow canyons to know that he—“

“Yeah, yeah, fine, point taken,” Joker says as he waves her off. “But have you met Lieutenant Integrity over there? Alenko would jump out an airlock before he intentionally broke a rule. Any rule.”

“Maybe,” says Tali, “but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel something.”

Liara coughs. “Or that Shepard might feel something, too.”

The four of them watch the far corner of the mess for a moment. Shepard says something, and Kaidan chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. His face falls slightly, looking down as he responds to whatever Shepard had said. Shepard’s face twists for a moment, reforming into a small smile when Kaidan looks back up. He leans forward just slightly, resting his hand on Kaidan’s forearm. Whatever he says makes Kaidan grin.

“Yeah, they look like a thing,” Liara says matter-of-factly.

“Such a thing,” Tali agrees.

Williams just grins wickedly at Joker, who scowls and goes back to eating his dinner.

It’s none of his business, anyway.

#Mass Effect #writing #fanfic #jeff 'joker' moreau #mshenko #tali'zorah nar rayya #ashley williams #liara t'soni #kaidan alenko #mshepard #even if they don't get together until ME3 they're still a thing in ME1 #just ask Ashley #she knows y'all

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legitalicat · 9 days

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From The Book Emerges a Man (Part 1) - Miraak x Reader

AN: This is my first official request made by my spiritual twin the lovely @foxyanon ! It is also my first proper Skyrim fanfic! I was surprised to find I enjoyed writing this as much as I did. I think I may be a Miraak girl now. Also Miraak's appearance is inspired by both this fanart by buttery_roll on Instagram!

Masterlist here!

Summary: Hermaeus Mora, often regarded as a demonic trickster, has sentenced you to be responsible for Miraak for the rest of his days. You can't help but despise the former Dragon Priest. Until you realize that he's only human.

TW: Tentacles (not inherently sexual in context but still), violence, weapons, mentions of blood, tension, forced proximity trope, TENSION, talks of a cult, enemies to friends, no romance YET, Hermaeus Mora, vampires, no reader description except wears a dress

Pairings: Past Miraak x OC

Word Count: 3.3k

The First of the Dragonborns and the Last Dragonborn. You could imagine the bards singing of this legendary battle for the rest of the Era. A mythical tale centuries, maybe a few millennia, in the making.

Yet, you couldn’t do it. Staring at the former Dragon Priest before you, an arrow notched in your bow as you were prepared to release the final piercing blow, when you came to the realization. Hermaeus Mora would only use you to the end of your days. Yet, if Miraak were to live, you would be free. Having slain his dragons, Miraak was no longer a threat to Nirn.

So, you dropped the bow and turned away. You would exit the way you came with the Black Book. You were free, and free you would remain.

“No,” Hermaeus Mora said, appearing before you as the Wretched Abyss.

“I leave. He lives. You lose,” you said angrily. “I am tired of being the plaything to bastards who won’t handle their business themselves!”

“You wish for me to handle my business myself? So be it,” his voice echoed around you as though it emerged from the very air of his realm.

Tentacles emerged from the oily pool behind you and wrapped themselves around your neck. For a moment, you were ready. Sovngarde was a better fate, where you were revered and rewarded for your sacrifices to the world, than to be at Mora’s will for the rest of his days.

“You think I will kill you? No, foolish mortal. It is not your time, and it is not your fate,” Mora said to you, toying with you. “You are slated for more…divine prospects.”

“Fuck you,” you uttered as the tentacles squeezed tighter, inadvertently lifting you off the ground.

“Even fate may be changed should one so desire,” he told you, your vision going fuzzy at the edges as you struggled for air. “And since you have decided you shall change his, he is now yours. After all, you have a debt to be paid.”

He dropped you, his tentacles retreating to the ooze. You gasped for a breath when you hit your knees. The fuzziness disappeared as you stared at the ground. He couldn’t be serious.

“Miraak, the First Dragonborn, the betrayer of the Priests, the First Servant, your final task is to serve the Last Dragonborn until your last breath. You shall leave Apocrypha a mortal man once more, the clock beginning where it froze when I first brought you. This shall be your new fate.”

That was what brought you home to Skyrim, Miraak by your side. You knew it was easier than continuing to fight. You had relative freedom while forcing this betrayer of Men and Mer to help you in your duty to Nirn. It felt like justice enough.

Your first night back in Skyrim, you made your way by carriage to your home, Lakeview Manor. You had thought the first person you would bring there, aside from your housecarl Rayya that is, would be your husband. Never had you imagined you would be forced to share your home with a long unimportant Dragon Priest.

“This is where you will keep me? This…hovel?” he asked as you began to dismount the carriage. “I was a king!”

You pulled him down by his robes, and flung him into the dirt. You put your full weight on top of him, sitting with a knee on either side of his chest. You pulled Mehrune’s Dagger from its sheath on your side and held the blade to his throat.

“A king?” you snarled. “You were a tool, a puppet, to be used by Mora until your veins ran dry! And now he’s stuck you with me. Tell me, little worm, do you feel the threatening aura of this blade now? Now that you can once again die by a mortal’s hand, do you feel the fear you brought upon others?”

The fact he still insisted upon wearing the mask and robes from his days as a Dragon Priest infuriated you to no end. It kept you from seeing the fear this blade now instilled in him. You could feel it in the way his muscles tensed under you. The nikriin (coward) was so used to preying on those he could control and manipulate, he didn’t know how to play fair.

You moved your dagger from his throat and cut away at the fabric holding his golden mask in place. In anger, you threw it far from where you two were and watched it as it disappeared down the hill. And if the Divine were good, you would never see the stupid thing in your life again.

You were surprised when you turned back to face him. You had not known much of the Dragon Priests, if you were honest, at least not before you were declared Dragonborn. So, you truly had not expected the man before you.

You would be surprised if Miraak was younger than forty, at least physically. There were fine lines on from the outer corners of his eyes. His hair was darker than you had expected, black with white peppered throughout. It was fast approaching his shoulders, a few wisps resting across his face. His beard was much the same in terms of coloring, the short coarse hair following along his jawline and trailing around his lips.

What captivated you, though, were the scars and his eyes. The scars, you suppose, could’ve been expected. He had championed a rebellion against Dragons, and you were all too familiar with them at this point to think the scars, that dragged across his face from under his right eye and disappearing into the left half of his beard, had been made by anything other than the claws of dragons. His eyes were overwhelmingly stunning. A sliver of a black pupil surrounded by a bright yellow that faded into a burning orange, his eyes looked reptilian.

“I earned my kingdom, Dragonborn,” he growled.

You pushed yourself off of him, practically growling in pure frustration as you sheathed your dagger. You began to walk into the house, thinking of ways you could send him back to Oblivion, when you stopped. Your old friend Faendal had always told you your heart was too big, and as you thought about the man who had been alone for over a millennia, you could understand why. You almost felt a pity for him now, as mortal as any other man with everyone he had ever known dead.

You did not turn back to face him. You merely took in a few deep breaths, smelling the smoke from the hearth’s fire floating into the sky above and the lake all but a stone’s throw away. And it felt calming. That was why you picked this place.

“Go to the lake and take a bath, you stink of horse and sea. I will have my steward bring you a set of clothes, leave the robes. I want no other connection to the atrocities you’ve committed in my house. We stay here for a week, then I have other holdings I must tend to,” you told him before walking into the home.

Your week went by rather quickly. Thankfully, both Falkreath and Whiterun were close enough to Lakeview that you could check on them during the week. The Jarls and their stewards had no news for their holds, each citing the end of the war as better news for their jails. None of your contacts in either offered a different story. At least for now, all seemed right in your favorite corner of the world.

Until you returned to the manor and found Miraak struggling to wrestle your cow into a single place so that he could milk it. You didn’t even really understand what you were seeing as you watched this insane man. He was wearing standard tavern clothes, the only clothes for men you had in your possession, and just kept wrapping his arms around the cow in a multitude of places. You could only assume he was trying hold it one position, at least.

You looked to Rayya, who was leaning against a nearby tree with a smirk on her face. You walked over to your steward.

“What is going on??” you asked her.

“You told me you wanted him to earn his keep. The ignorant fool won’t accept the fact that he is failing,” she said, chuckling.

“So you think it better to allow him to stress out my cow?” you asked.

“I tried, my Thane. He would not listen to anyone but you,” she told you. She shook her head and walked away, no doubt to do her rounds of the property.

Sighing, you walked over to the pen that held your cow and chickens. The chickens may not have been smart, but they had at least managed to keep out of his grasp. Your poor cow, that you had named after Faendal after one too many Black-Briar Meads, was mooing indignantly as she kept trying to step out of his grasp. She was just a little too slow to accomplish it.

“What are you doing?” you asked him.

“This cow will learn it’s place. It will listen to me,” he told you, not even bothering to glance your way as he repositioned his grip once more.

“Oh my fuck are you truly that much of an idiot?” you asked him as you pulled him off the cow.

He stood straight and looked down at you. He truly was an imposing force. Without his padded robes, he was still broad shouldered. You were near certain he was a solid wall of muscle, taller than you by at least a head.

“Rayya cares for her every day, you are a stranger to her. She has no trust in you, she will not willingly give you what you have not yet earned,” you snapped at him.

His eyes, which still dazzled you, moved down to look directly at his feet. You could see Miraak’s jaw clench and release a few times over.

“I…I apologize, Dragonborn. I merely thought I should earn my keep here,” he said quietly. “I know that you more than anyone is paying a price near too high for Mora’s trickery.”

His apology was sincere. So sincere, in fact, you were rendered speechless. The last few weeks had been so intense, between the Mora’s decision, the journey back to Skyrim from Solstheim, and the duties and detours you had as was your duty to Skyrim. You had never once suspected he may, after so long, feel some inkling of regret for his actions.

“Just…my stewards, anyone I employ, really, they know what they are doing. You can trust that their instruction will be true and fair,” you muttered. You began to side step him when his arm grabbed you.

You had been travelling light since your return, trading your normal armor for a green dress that you saw that tavern woman wore. It felt freeing, to some degree, to be able to go at least just a few days without armor stiffening your movements. So, his hand touched your bare skin. Goose pimples popped up over your entire body as his heat spread over you and your blood rushed to your cheeks.

“How was your trip?” he asked you. Surprised, you turned to face him. His handsome face once again took your breath away.

“Uneventful. Thank the Divine,” you said. His eyes traveled to your chest, where an amulet to your favorite Divine rested.

“I didn’t take you for one of piety,” he commented.

“I never was but being a god sent piece to move about the board, you gain an appreciation,” you muttered.

“I shall get our things ready to ride for Solitude tomorrow,” he said. He let you go and walked into the house.

It was supposed to be a simple ride. You had made it so many times and so many ways. You had even chosen to stick to the roads this time to avoid any such event.

But pesky vampires didn’t care much for plans. They were getting more courageous, some even coming out in the broad daylight. Which is exactly what these did.

There were at least ten of them. It was one of the larger groups you had come across. And when one laid slain at your feet, another came. They were overwhelming you.

Until he saved you.

In moments that were almost too quick to comprehend, he had cut down any vampire that had touched you. There was a fire burning in his eyes as he moved his sword about. You stood there, stunned, as the blood of vampires drenched him when the last of them were dead.

He looked at you, that fire seeming to consume him. Miraak closed the distance between you, pulling your dented helm from your head to toss it aside, and took your face in his firm hands.

“Are you hurt?” he asked you. His eyes searched your face. Your armor had thankfully kept any of their attacks from reaching your flesh.

“Yes,” you whispered.

He looked like he was at a loss for words entirely. His gaze softened as he looked you over once more. And if you were crazy, which despite all the blows to the head you most definitely were not, you would have sworn he looked a little teary eyed.

“Let’s set up camp for the evening. It would be night soon, and you should rest,” he said quietly as he released you from his hold. You watched as he walked away into the nearby forest.

You looked as the sun was beginning to set over the mountains. Thankfully there was enough light left to arrange your camp. You got to work silently on building a simple lean-to with enough room to fit both of you. You had hidden it a bit past the tree line, giving you perfect view of the road without being seen from it.

Miraak returned to your side not long after you were finished making a fire with a deer he had shot down and dressed. And so you watched as he butchered it down into smaller slabs of meat. Once it was on the fire cooking, the stars already shone bright in the sky.

“You can’t milk a cow but you can field dress a deer?” you asked him. You were both sitting by the fire, and you glanced up at him.

The firelight danced across his features. It seemed to make the scars even deeper. His eyes practically glowed at any time, but seemed ethereal now.

“It is not much different than slaughtering a Dragon. More pliable, but that typically works to my favor,” he answered with a shrug.

“I have to ask. You were…I mean you were a dragon priest. The world laid at your feet, you only had to answer to the dragons. Why ruin all that, why turn on them and seal your fate in Apocrypha?” you asked him.

Until you had spoken the words, you didn’t realize how much you desired an answer. The stories from the Merethic Era were scattered at best. Most of them had been deemed so impossible that they were nothing but a legend. Even Miraak’s story had been lost, and his was truth.

“The Dragons were cruel. Simple as that,” he told you with another shrug.

“No. That was known by everyone once they arrived in Tamriel. That’s not a good enough answer. So the truth. Now,” you said firmly.

He sighed and leaned forward a bit. He adjusted the meat’s position over the fire before looking to you.

“There were barely better to us than they were the men they ruled over. We were given control, sure, but at what cost? They fed us their barely edible scraps, instructed us to build temples until our hands bled. They didn’t even allow human companions for us, only them. It is not a great wonder many were able to scatter and bury the dragons, we were used to being alone,” he told you. You leaned back a bit, resting yourself against the shelter.

“There was a woman,” he said quietly.

“Isn’t there always?” you muttered. If he heard you, he didn’t acknowledge your words.

“This woman was…she was beautiful. One of your Divines personified, if I ever cared to wager. There was no other explanation for how one as stunning as the stars could exist on Nirn,” he said. His voice was soft, heavy.

“You fell in love,” you whispered.

You had never imagined a man such as him in love. In the few stories you had managed to hear, he was not exactly the warm and fuzzy type. More akin to the dragons he once served than a rabbit. And his ferocity in the fight against the vampires earlier felt like proof of that.

But then you thought of the way he looked at you. The way he touched you, or held you. How ever since he joined your company, you hadn’t so much as even gotten a scratch. How he seemed to always be aware of the next step, ensuring that no harm came to you.

Your heart began fluttering against your chest like a thousand butterflies has been entrapped inside you. You had been so preoccupied with hating him and hating how he had been thrust upon you, you had never thought of him as anything but a monster.

“I did. But like I said, our lives were dedicated to the Dragons. We were allowed nothing more. The rest of the world…the dragons made their lives torturous, yes. I will not deny that, and I will not deny the part I played. But, at least they got to share their life with someone.”

You nodded silently.

“When Alduin found out I dared break one of their many rules, he made me watch as they tore her limb from limb. My dear Thildys, whose only crime was being the object of all my desires. And if that were not cruel enough, The World Eater marked me for eternity with his claws still dripping with her blood,” he said.

Your heart ached for him. You remembered how you felt when you found Kodlak had been killed. The betrayal from the universe felt as real as any wound you had suffered. You weren’t even in love with Kodlak and you killed the Silver Hands to avenge him and the entire Glenmoril Coven just to give him way to escape the clutches of Hircine’s Hunt.

You thought of what you would do for a person you had loved. Especially if the beings you considered gods made you watch while they tore your love apart. And you felt a burning desire within you to destroy anyone who had so much as whispered your name. You couldn’t begin to fathom what it would feel like for real.

“You rebelled in revenge,” you said.

“I did. I thought…I thought if I overpowered them I would have the power to turn back fate. They feared me, for a while, as I amassed followers and slew Dragons. And then I began to lose, the rest of the Dragon Priests circled Alduin and fought against me, turned my allies against me. Then Mora promised me that if I served him, he would give Thildys back to me. That is all I have wanted all this time,” Miraak finished his tale.

You were waiting for some lament about how Mora tricked him. That seemed to be the status quo wherever Hermaeus Mora made himself known. He would promise powerful people the world, and all they got was an earful of lies.

But yet nothing of the sort fell from his lips. He merely pulled the meat off the fire and portioned both of you out some. You noticed he handed you a larger slab. Before you could protest, he spoke.

“You have her eyes, Dragonborn.”

#miraak #the elder scrolls skyrim #the elder scrolls #miraak x reader #miraak x oc #slow burn #requested

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throughtrialbyfire · 9 months

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dropping my rayya headcanons here while i avoid Actually Writing

her mother wove fishing nets, and her father was a fisherman. they met through this, and while they had very opposite personalities (her father being much more bookish and reserved than her mother, who was the more energetic and social of the pair) they took to each other instantly

rayya was raised along the coast of hammerfell, and her childhood is overwhelmingly full of good memories of those days

she's very outdoorsy because of her parents! she loves fishing especially, and on a calm/relatively sunny day in falkreath hold, she'll be at the lake in her boat reading, fishing, or just enjoying the weather

she very much took after her father, including his intense love of literature. her favorite genre is horror <3

she and her family fled from hammerfell to skyrim during the great war, when she was just a teenager. she returned after the war and spent some time as an alik'r warrior, but eventually grew tired of that life, and decided to return to the cold province she'd been calling home for so many years

she loves the misty, overcast weather of falkreath. while the rain does mean she can't spend as much time outdoors as she wants, she just loves a good thunderstorm, or a day with heavy fog

#rayya skyrim #rayya #skyrim #tes v #tesblr #headcanons #bishop.txt #i need to work on my fics but rip i love coming up with headcanons for the housecarls

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hrodvitnon · 2 months

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Bit of a meta question here: We know that Goji and Mothra had gaming consoles in their Infant Island home and that Rodan at least is familiar with games in general, also that Maia was gonna eventually let San read the Middle-Earth books; so it can be reasonably assumed that they each know at least a decent amount of human pop culture.

This all being said, what fictional characters (if any) are the kaiju's favorites?

Bonus: Which ones would they crush on?

Turns out Titans can get just as obsessed with fictional characters as humans do! From strong but silent heroes like the Master Chief to the Fellowship in LotR, to ancient classical figures like Sun Wukong, they love a good hero; and a compelling villain you just love to hate.

As for their fictional crushes...

Goji at his age prefers to watch the video games but he finds Thel 'Vadam (the Arbiter) in Halo sexy for multiple reasons, particularly his voice. He pays a lot of attention to how Thel's mandibles move when talking.

On the subject of Halo, Kat-B320 in Reach enchanted Mothra with her accent alone; our poor Queen was devastated after the level New Alexandria, but Cortana filled the void. For a while.

It was mentioned in Shamhat, but Rodan favors Tali'Zorah nar Rayya in Mass Effect and considers her Best Girl.

Tiamat thirsts endlessly over Bayonetta.

As for Ghidorah, Ichi and Ni enjoy Kratos, particularly Greek Era Kratos when he's an unyielding engine of blind rage and vengeance all too happy to unleash destruction upon Greece if it means killing whatever so much as inconveniences him; they piss and moan about the Norse Era being "boring". (They understand Kratos has reasons for being Like That; they just only like him when he's screaming and killing.)

San would not bottom for just about anyone... but he would absolutely get on his knees for the Doom Slayer.

...and because I simply have no control over myself, they get into SIGNALIS. And proceed to never shut up about it. Mothra in particular is so heartbroken from one ending that for the first time in Titan History she actually starts writing fan fiction because she's so desperate for all the space lesbians to be happy. (Which, same.)

#tosho89 #frostbite814 #in the footsteps of shamhat

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ladytanithia · 9 months

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Side stories...

Does anyone else write little side stories for their main stories, like to fill in the blanks as to what goes on "behind the scenes?" I've written a few, actually, like that untitled bit I posted a while back about the archery lesson with Faendal, Persuading Fethis, Hrefna's Crush, and this little untitled discussion between Faendal and Rayya after one of Miranja's layovers at Lakeview Manor. Just wanted to share!

It's under a thousand words, but I'll put it below the cut.

@mareenavee @skyrim-forever @thequeenofthewinter @gwilin-stay-winnin @dirty-bosmer @thechaosdragoness

Faendal was mining the iron ore vein on the Lakeview Manor property when Rayya came over to talk to him. Miranja had gone back out on another adventure with that Imperial mage Marcurio earlier this morning, and Rayya had seen enough.

Faendal glanced up at her as he wiped the sweat from his brow. “Morning, Rayya, something that needs my attention?”

“Maybe,” Rayya replied, “but not about the property. There’s something else I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”

Faendal’s curiosity was piqued. Rayya never spoke about anything personal; she was a very private, introverted person. What could be bothering her so much that she was actually approaching him to talk about it?

Faendal stuck the handle of the pickaxe through the loop on his belt and picked up the ore he’d already broken loose, loading it into the cart and starting toward the smelter. Rayya followed.

“What’s on your mind, then, Rayya?”

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while now,” Rayya began. “Llewellyn and I have even had a couple of conversations about it. And I thought now was as good a time as any…”

Rayya had Faendal’s full attention now. He stopped and faced her, a question on his face.

Rayya smiled. “Don’t look so concerned, my friend. It’s nothing bad. We just want you to know that you don’t have to go to bed late and get up extra early when Miranja is home. You’re not fooling anyone but yourself. It’s easy enough to see how much Miranja adores you. We know you share her bed every time she comes home, and we’re fine with that. It’s not like you go around lording it over us or anything.”

Faendal’s face was redder than Rayya had ever seen it, and she laughed in amusement. “You’re adorable when you’re embarrassed, you know.”

Faendal turned and continued on toward the smelter.

“My question is this, and you can tell me if it’s none of my business: I’ve seen you both wearing Mara’s amulet. So why haven’t you married yet?”

Faendal closed his eyes and took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. He’d been fraught with guilt more than once over that very question.

“I won’t say it’s none of your business, Rayya. I consider us all to be a little family of sorts, and what affects one of us affects us all. The fact of the matter is that when Miranja and I met, I was already in love with a woman in Riverwood. She’s who I’m going to visit whenever I go to Riverwood; I just pick up some supplies at her brother’s shop while I’m there, partly because we do need them, and partly so it looks like I had another reason to go there.”

“I suspected as much, if you want to know the truth. You’re not as subtle as you think you are. Falkreath is closer and you can get the same goods there.”

Faendal shrugged sheepishly. “If you really want to know, Miranja has actually taken my side to help me win Camilla’s heart. The Nord blowhard who was my rival is totally out of the picture now, and I’m really close to winning her over completely. Miranja’s been very encouraging. Yes, I know she wants more than what I’ve given her so far, but she’s put her own wishes aside to help me fulfill mine.”

Rayya found herself feeling very irritated with Faendal over that last little tidbit. “And nothing she’s said or done – Miranja, I mean – nothing has convinced you that Miranja might be the better choice?” There was an edge to her voice.

Faendal was irritated right back at her. “I told you, Miranja has been helping me win Camilla over. And I do love Miranja – very much, in fact. She’s amazing. But she still wants to see other people, and I worry every day that she might not come home. Not only does she seem to seek danger, but danger seems to seek her out, too. I want to marry someone I never have to worry about losing to draugr, dragons, the Dawnguard – whatever. Can you understand that? I’m a pretty simple man, and I want a simple life. Miranja is complicated, and everything about her life seems complicated. I’m certainly her friend for life, but I could never be her husband.”

Rayya was silent, considering. There was a certain fondness between herself and Miranja, to be sure, but they had never really spent any significant bonding time together, and Rayya only knew the bare minimum about Miranja’s life or her inner workings. For all intents and purposes, she and Miranja were simply employer and employee. She only saw what was on the surface, and all she really knew about Miranja was that she treated her well and paid her well. Perhaps Faendal was right; he was closer to Miranja than anyone else.

“I think I understand where you’re coming from, Faendal. I’m sorry if I spoke out of turn. You’re obviously the only one in the whole household who’s truly close to her. Llewellyn and I – Gunjar, too – we’re just observers, and that’s how it looks to us, from the ‘outside.’ You two are like the ‘parents’ of our family. As long as both you and Miranja are happy with your arrangement, we’ll stay out of it.”

Faendal smiled. “There’s nothing to forgive, friend. Miranja would be very pleased to know that she has such a loyal family who has her best interests in mind.”

#skyrim #elder scrolls #miranja #fanfic #ao3 #tesblr #Faendal #Rayya #Lakeview Manor

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incorrectskyrimquotes · 1 year

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Eryn takes recieving Dawnbreaker as a sign to go at least talk to the Dawnguard. As much as she truly longs for a peaceful life, that's just not her destiny. But for the first time, she writes out a will. After all that trouble with Miraak, she doesn't want there to be any confusion in the event of her death. And because Ralof is always with her, she knows if she dies, he's likely not going to be far behind.

So, she talks to Calder and Rayya (who take care of her house and Sofie in her absence). She learns that they've began a relationship, which makes what she asks of them a bit easier.

If anything happens to her and Ralof, she wants them to take care of Sofie. And for the love of Talos make sure she isn't hounded by scholars trying to pry into her personal life after her death.

#oc: eryn

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ao3feed-mshenko · 2 years

Text

Stars & Skies - A Collection of Short Stories

by kenshi_vakarian7

A collection of challenges and writing prompts with all but one chapter focused on my Shepards & Ryders and their respective significant others. Originally written for Tumblr in 2018 and 2019 during a very bad writing slump.

*Trigger Warning for implied child abuse is only in the final chapter.

Words: 41631, Chapters: 28/28, Language: English

Fandoms: Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect: Andromeda

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Characters: Male Shepard (Mass Effect), Female Shepard, Miranda Lawson, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, Kaidan Alenko, James Vega, Cora Harper, Vetra Nyx, Garrus Vakarian, Jack | Subject Zero, Thane Krios, Jaal Ama Darav, Liara T'Soni, Reyes Vidal, Original Asari Character(s)

Relationships: Miranda Lawson/Male Shepard, Peebee/Male Ryder | Scott, Male Shepard/Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard, Female Shepard/James Vega, Cora Harper/Male Ryder | Scott, Vetra Nyx/Male Ryder | Scott, Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, Female Ryder | Sara/Original Asari Character(s), Jack | Subject Zero/Male Shepard, Thane Krios/Female Shepard, Jaal Ama Darav/Female Ryder | Sara, Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard, Female Shepard/Liara T'Soni, Female Ryder | Sara/Reyes Vidal

Additional Tags: Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Fluff, Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/41749278

#MShenko #Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard #Kaidan Alenko #Commander Shepard #Mass Effect #ao3feed

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every18things · 1 year

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We are having a holiday from 19-25 April. If we had school in the morning, we might have left the dorm by afternoon. On the contrary, my pals who had school in the afternoon, first spent their morning time packing, and left by night.

At least, it was what I thought before. However, we had a downpour in the afternoon, so some of my friends were hesitant to come home due to the extreme lightning.

On 19/4/2023

In my POV, I was too lazy. It was a test day after all. I need more naps. Plus, packing is a difficult task. I have to ensure that my things in the dorm are safe. I have to ensure that I didn't carry useless things too. So, I negotiated with Kristin whether we can go by tomorrow, and she agreed. Luckily, it was a downpour too. My mom asked me to stay low in the dorm first.

We spent nothing except resting. Oh, I forgot to tell you. I bought something for old lady whom generally sweeps the street. She is so kind and frequently greets us when we are off to samit. Her hospitality reminds me of my old-ladies friends. At this point, I 80% agree I suppose to take Kaigo, but hell no, I won't. And so, I bought an extra meal for me. It was astor. I was shocked that it seemed to be made by Khong Guan. The packaging was brand new that I could barely recognized it. Too stunning that I decided to buy it for myself. At night, when only a few people left, I opened my astor, hope people will start make a circle and have a warm chat. And it worked. I'm happy. I love when people gather without any boundaries. Peace heals me. None know this fact, but sisterhood's is as awesome as brotherhood.

On 20/4/2023

I did my last laundry in the morning. We left the dorm by 10:30. I did check how many people left. Before we left, I said goodbye and Sinta begged me to let go of my astor, which I found funny. So I passed down my astor to her. Kristin and I took commuterline. I've offered her to ride a rent car, but she refused. She wanted to experienced riding commuterline. We arrived at 12:30. I saw my little brother sleeping on a couch with my babysitter. We were to fucked up of the road so we went upstairs, washed ourselves, and passed out.

By 4 I checked my brother, he was still asleep. That was insane. So I touched him a little, and called him softly. I said, "Look, who's finally coming home". He recognised my voice and directly smiled and awaked. He hugged me. My younger sister who slept next to him said, "Why don't you do that when I'm coming back home from Purwokerto too, you, kid". We went downstairs to checked whether my mom and dad already back from work. And it was. I greeted them.

Not long after, we broke the fasting. I planned to go the mall to buy a proper fit for rayya. Mom and dad was little worried because it was late already, but they finally permitted it.

I went to the mall by car together with my sister and Kristin. I bought a dress, my sister bought a brand new shoes, and Kristin bought a coffee, just like her. After that, we had a super late dinner in a fast-food restaurant.

On 21/4/2023

I actually forgot what I and Kristin did on this day because the Eid is not happening but tomorrow. Therefore I am just gonna write it: We are totally resting the whole day. Resting means:

- We eat

- We watch

- We sleep

- Repeat

Oh, I just remembered that in the afternoon I did decorating the front counter. I moved the cookies to a good looking jar and displayed the most appealing desserts for the table. My sister helped me with sweeping the floor. I helped her back by do the mopping. I remembered that I still texted Kak Helena to check how many persons left in the dorm.

On 22/4/2023

Happy Eid Mubarak!

I woke up earlier to help my mom cook though I can't cook well. I helped her stay awake by talking nonsense. After that, I woke my brother up and bathe him. I always enjoy talking with my brother. He is just like Kristin. A type of Why-Person. For adults, answering a question why from children is somehow tricky. I learn and practice a lot when my brother asked me such question. Finding a proper but simple definition is thrilling.

For example, what if a 5-year-old boy asked you a question, "Why people who drinks too much Boba can ended up dying?." What could be your best answer? How could you define diabetes in a child-language?

After finished bathed him, I helped my dad cleaned up the house once again. I prepared to take Eid Prayer. My dad and Babang took a larger mosque. My mom, my grandma, and I took the shorter mosque. My sister and Kristin secured the house.

After that, we met our neighbours. We apologized. We shared some money to kids around the neighborhood. Then, we ate opor.

Before leaving to my other grandma's house in East Jakarta. My sister and I did ask for apologies to our parents. My mom whispered and always begged me for the same thing. "Always be a nice girl." From the day I was born until the second I write this diary, the order is exactly the same. My mom always only wanted me to be a good one, and my dad always wanted me to be a success or somehow smart girl that this family can rely on in the future.

On our way, before we visited the cemetery of granddad's, my mom gave me, my sister, my brother, and also Kristin a shopping voucher, hehe. By 6 we arrived at our home back. It's a long trip to ask for 12 hours apologies. At our home, a new guests already awaited us. What a tiring day.

On 23/4/2023

Welcome to the second day of Rayya. It's the first open house for this year. We prepared a lot. We cooked bakso and bought a gallon of ice creams. We served the best snacks for our guests today, or to be precise the younger relatives from my dad. If yesterday was the day where my dad visited the older family, today is the day where my dad be visited by the younger relatives.

I really love the crowd. There are a lot baby too. While parents were busy talking and eating, the babies are busy fighting. I really enjoyed the scene. The babies would fight over my brother's toys collection. I mean it, my brother's toys collection is like a toy store moved to our house. He bought a toy everysecond. People don't have to buy him another toy because he had a lot. Even he had a go kart when he was still 4.

Our house situation is chaotic and really messy. I'm super glad that Kristin is there to help us a lot. Plus, our housemaid is taking her days off, right. So, we need more people to help.

But really, I really like this hectic situations. Kids are running up and down the stairs. Front and behind my house. LOL. This is so lit!

On 24/4/2023

I'm feeling not well today. I have fever in the morning. I'm planning not to do anything, but to remember that my kindhearted teacher assigned me a task, so I'm going to do it today.

Anyway, I am supposed to go to my other relatives' house in Tanjung Barat today. Commonly, I have to visit my relatives for five days straight day and night. I also need two days free for my own schedule visiting my teacher from Aliyah and College. And by Saturday next week, we will do open-house for my dad's colleagues. It's a huge party. There are a lot of food displayed. It's like a semi wedding party without the groom and the bride. Food is everywhere, I love it! It's so weird that we don't do it this year because the time is so limited.

By night, I have finished my homework.

On 25/4/2023

Kristin and I packed to go back to Samit. We are totally unready to face the school and especially the normal FMD. But it's about time, we have to be patient for the rest of two months left. And it's about time, I can finally and gracefully separate seeing that person to my own good.

Appendix

Writing a journal is not a heavy task for me. You gonna know how I'm used to do it when I explain about my speech sooner or later. The problem is I don't like it when my language is limited.

Also, this is my first ever Lebaran where I celebrated together with other person besides my family. It's so fun having Kristin on my own. I'm a bit worried but I hope our family welcome her well. Kristin is helping us a lot. The only minus she had is she is so shy. Whenever I asked her to come downstairs, she refused. I understand her reluctance. But somehow it's weird. Really weird.

For example, I'm not a person who like to push anyone you know. Eating is what you need to stay alive. You can't be so shy to eat, right? But everytime I asked her what to eat or to ask her let's eat, she said, [I'm on diet/I've just done eating snacks/It's up to you]. This is making me insane.

Or in another case, when we were finally eating together in the dining room with my family. She kept pinching my hand or nudged my leg. Like, come on, can I just eat peacefully in this super beautiful day? Let's worry a little. I have ever be in her position, and to stay calm is a good option. I'm not angry it's just my family don't bite, do they? Why everyone thinks that our family is that strict and have no humour at all. Like we are basically a human living and social creatures too, OMG.

But again, it's cool to have Kristin. I can't thank her enough for helping me on this chaotic Lebaran day. Like my family is always super chaotic when it comes to Lebaran. Because we have so many guests and hectic schedule.

[perhaps you want to skip this part]

Oh, and I watched a lot of series this holiday. I watched an anime entitled Tomodachi Game, Western Series named Euphoria, and K-drama that I binge-watched a lot named Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha. I love them all. Precisely, Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha because of the characters is so sweet. It reminds me of Niko Sensei Whatsapp's profile picture. LOL. Too sweet that I can't handle it. Actually there is a woman that resembles me. She fancy pricey things, she is stiff to others, she likes beautiful things, and hates unpredictable things. She also hates someone who is loud. By destination she finally met a man who is on her contrary. A loud, tender, and simple-man that value littlest things highly. And that typical contrary made her comfortable. Once she said,

"I'm the kind of person who makes plans for the rest of my 99 years. I don't like people who cross the line. I fancy higher priced shoes. I guess we're the opposite. I'm sure our blood types and MBTI don't match. Like the distinction between polar bears that hunt sea lions and penguins that consume fish. But I could care less. I love you."

AHAHAHAH, I kicked my blanket a lot when I saw her confession. That's what we call UWU, ladies and gentlemen, trust me. Anyway, this woman is actually a good one, she is a sincere one. She had been hurt before so she was very careful. Good for her, she was fated with the nice guy even though it takes them a lot lot lot of time.

That's the end of my journal. Doesn't sound really interesting, right? Happy giving feedback and tell me yours.

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zaephix · 2 months

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golden child , lion boy , tell me what it's like to conquer / / jing yuan . . .

as his wife, you have the right to dream of other possibilities, right?

warnings: married!jing yuan and reader, f!reader, use of pet names (love), no y/n, spoilers for the luofu storyline, jealousy, suggestive themes, lowercase intended

w/c: 635 words

a/n: double upload!?!?! cant help it i love this man so much lord help me, art cred: mugenoumi on twt

"you seem to be enjoying your time with those finches."

soft clicks of shoes stepping on the wooden floor reach the general's ears, and as well as the birds he was currently devoting his attention to. jing yuan knew better than to frustrate his wife, however he can't won't seem stop making that pout appear.

"and you know better than to be jealous of some innocent birds, love." the resonant voice of his leaves faint echoes in the chamber. he hums happily as your hands snake around his waist, your face buried in his back. "not m' fault- i missed you," your muffled voice tickles his back, earning you a chuckle.

he gently releases the birds, much to your pleasure. "there. they're gone now, but you ought to open your heart to them. they're excellent companions."

"better companions than me?" you prod with an eyebrow raised. he turns around to face you, and now you can finally see your husband's infuriatingly handsome portrait once more. hundreds of years have passed since your union with jing yuan, and yet he still leaves you breathless each time.

long locks of golden white hair frame his head, stray strands everywhere. it's a common sight for your eyes these days, the ten-lords commission giving your husband more work to do these days, especially after the incident with phantilya. noticing your internal worry, he cradles you in his arms.

"now, now. would i have stuck with you for this long if i'd found better a companion? you think too much, love."

"and you think too little." you buried your face yet again in the crook of his neck. it was times like these when you wished you and your husband were not such important figures to the xianzhou, daydreams of you and jing yuan living a simple life away from here plague your mind almost every day.

"some people think me a fool, reduced down from a feared general to a lazy idiot who can't seem to pick up a pen for the life of him."

"and what do you say to that?"

he grins down at you, the outer corners of his eyes wrinkling with his breathy laugh. "i agree with them. however, there's one thing they do have wrong."

this piques your interest, lifting your head up to make eye contact with him. you tilt your head to the side, encouraging him to continue. "well?"

with sudden enthusiasm, he picks you up and spins you around, your back now hitting the cool concrete of some wall in the room. however, you don't have time to think about what had just happened, as he stole your lips and your breath in that same second.

his lips moved against yours with passion, arms coiling around you in a tight grip. kisses with jing yuan were usually slow and sensual, nothing like the show he's putting on for you right now. you swear you could feel your lips go numb, both of you breathing into each other like you'd never breathe again.

he finally pulls away, a thin strand of saliva connecting you both still. he sighs deeply with a smile on his face. "i've already conquered a feat very few people have before. your love and loyalty to me."

you giggle at the mushy confession. general or not, he'd still be your loving husband. "you can never not have the last word, can you?"

"no ma'am." and he pulls you in again, this time going back to his usual kisses. slow, sensual, and sultry.

a few moments later, something soft and bushy made contact with your leg. your husband's hair was certainly not that long, and you know for a fact you don't have a carpet this fluffy in this room...

"jing, i think mimi wants your attention as well."

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j-matilda · 1 year

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A list of self care habits:

✿..Hobbies:

• Always make some the to do

what you love.

• Create art, writing and music

for yourself.

• Be patient, progress takes time.

Writing letters became a beautiful thing he usually did, have a nice day! Yours truly, Rayya! ♡♡

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smokedanced · 2 years

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@rubiesintherough sent a bunch of questions

meme for roleplay muns / ACCEPTING ↷

1. What is your favorite trope to rp? :: uwaaaa, so many! oddly specific: my muses trapped/restrained one way or another. hurt/comfort. found family. just to name a few. but honestly, i can hardly think of many things i would not enjoy exploring in rp, and i like having a variety of tropes to play with!

5. What is a character you love, but don’t think you can write? :: there are so many. rowena macleod, sam winchester & crowley from supernatural. liara t’soni, tali’zorah nar rayya & thane krios from mass effect (tbqh i love most mass effect characters and would not have the confidence to write most of them, but specifically i don’t think i’d have a good writing voice for these, others such as edi or legion i am actually considering testing out). donna noble, charley pollard, bill potts & the master from doctor who. i could go on

18. What is one thing you’d wish to see more in the rp community? :: answered here!

#rubiesintherough #; outofsmoke

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gaylittleinnkeepers · 3 years

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on solid ground [miraak]

(miraak x non dragonborn!female!reader)

the first thing miraak did when he arrived back on tamriel was look up to the sky.

for the first time in- how many years? ages and ages and ages, the sky was blue. he'd never thought he would see the colour blue again. apocrypha's skies were murky green, and he could never look up without seeing what a shithole everything was.

he looked down at the ground- dirt! solstheim, to many, was a disgusting place, but miraak couldn't be happier to see it.

ah...there was the complication of the many people he'd aggravated and killed over the years. but he felt too happy to be back on solid ground.

"happy to be back?"

miraak had forgotten that he wasn't alone. "yes. i mean- it's been so long."

y/n grinned, and looked up to the sky. "i can't imagine what it'd be like. so, what are you gonna do now?"

he was momentarily stunned. what...what was he going to do now? somehow, conquering the world and recruiting dragons didn't seem important, or like anything he wanted to do.

"you should settle down," y/n suggested. she held out a pouch of septims. "there are places, i know, that you could stay without being chased after, or-"

"i want to stay with you," miraak interrupted her.

y/n looked up in surprise. "stay with- really?"

he nodded. "i can fight, with you. i'd..." his voice faltered. "i want to see what tamriel is like now."

y/n stared at miraak for a second, dumbstruck, before she grinned. "i'd like that...very much! so, let's go!"

the bannered mare was quite busy at this time of night, miraak noted. there was a little girl (she looked lonely), a bunch of smelly men and a few women. he'd met most of these people already; they'd been kind to him when y/n and miraak first came into whiterun after a while out in the wild.

"when will you do it?"

miraak shot lydia a puzzled look. "what do you mean, 'when will i do it'?"

lydia gave an exasperated sigh before taking a sip from her tankard. "ask her out."

"what??"

"look, you've been travelling with y/n for a whole fucking year and me and rayya both know that you have a massive crush on her. it's so obvious."

miraak tried not to spit his ale everywhere. "lower it down would you! i don't want all of tamriel to know!"

"hah!" lydia wore a triumphant look. "i knew it! rayya owes me 20 septims."

"am i really that obvious?" miraak said in a low voice. "it's awkward. we're the best of friends, because she saved me from apocrypha, but..."

"just ask her to the bannered mare or something," lydia said. "easy-peasy. if she doesn't seem interested, just pretend you asked her out as friends!"

i would prefer for that not to happen, miraak thought. "fine. i'll do it tomorrow night."

at that moment, rayya walked over with a bottle of mead in her hand and a piece of bread in the other. lydia beckoned her over and whispered in her ear.

miraak heard, "thirty septims he chickens out."

thanks for the vote of confidence, miraak thought to himself.

y/n was having a shit, shit, shit day.

first there was the matter of clearing that one stupid-ass cave with a FUCKING GIANT and finding out that ysolda is a drug dealer.

then braith was being a massive stingy bitch again.

and then she cried because lucia was so cute and lonely.

so, to sum it up, shit day.

y/n brightened up a bit when miraak knocked on the door to breezehome, though. her best friend was sure to make her shit day a bit less shit-ier.

"miraak! what have you been up to?" y/n asked.

miraak took off his mask, hanging it on a little knob thing (idk what they're called). "oh, i was just out with anoriath. he's been kind, letting me practice archery on the animals in the plains."

"nice to know you're making friends after the whole 'being evil' thing," y/n offered lightly with a small laugh. miraak couldn't help but smile.

"so...what're you doing tonight?"

y/n cocked an eyebrow (a small trait she'd picked up from lydia). "nothing. why? you wanna do something?"

miraak opened his mouth, then closed it again before answering. "er...would you- i mean, would you want to go out with me? to the bannered mare, i mean!"

y/n stared at him- dumbstruck, again, much like when he'd told her he was going with her- before giving a grin.

"sure," y/n said.

miraak let out a sigh. finally things are going my way...sort of.

little did he know, y/n was freaking out.

fuckkkkkkkk, y/n silently panicked.

#you don’t know it’s my first time writing miraak-#this was for a friend on wattpad i thought y’all might like?.?#miraak #miraak x reader #skyrim #skyrim fanfic #the elder scrolls #tes #apocrypha #skyrim x reader #lydia #rayya #y/n sorry to burst your bubble but ysolda is a drug dealer

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todisturbtheuniverse · 3 years

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FIC: Braced

Rating: G Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy; Mass Effect 1 Pairing: Female Shepard/Tali’Zorah nar Rayya Tags: Pre-Relationship Word Count: 1200 Summary: Tali had wanted in on Shepard's mission. She just hadn't expected Shepard to welcome her aboard without reservations. Also on AO3. Notes: I've been getting back into Mass Effect with Legendary (like everyone else), and thinking about these two this time around.

Already, Tali loved the Normandy.

After everything—running, and hiding, and losing Keenah—she'd had just enough time on the Citadel to begin to feel homesick. Trailing Shepard to the Citadel Tower, she'd peered through the crowd and seen none of her own people. And the station had a noise to it, a pulse, but it was nothing like the sound of the Flotilla, all the subtle clunks and clanks and hisses that marked the ships' ages. She'd felt very much the intruder, walking through the belly of a beast so great that it didn't notice her at all.

But the Normandy abated that, somewhat. It certainly didn't have the same weathering as the Flotilla, but there was still something about it. Maybe it was just that she was allowed to know the ship—that rather than cast her back into the cargo hold, Adams had given her an impromptu tour and talked enthusiastically with her for a while before going back to his duties.

"Surprised you're still up," Shepard's voice said from somewhere behind her.

Tali couldn't help that she flinched a little, startled by Shepard's sudden appearance. She hoped that Shepard was still feeling benevolent. It was hard to tell by her voice alone; Tali didn't have a lot of experience with humans.

She'd expected to have to beg to be allowed to come along. Not on her knees, maybe, but she'd been sure that Shepard would want more proof of her abilities, evidence that she would be an asset, not a liability. That was how others viewed her people: an undue strain on even a multispecies crew, needy. She'd expected to have to prove that the extra resources they'd spend on her would be worth it.

But after the hearing, she'd understood. Shepard was short on allies. She couldn't afford to turn away help, from any quarter.

"My day-night cycle is still messed up from the Citadel, I guess," Tali said, closing out of the diagnostic she'd been examining.

"Which part?" Shepard asked, stepping up to the console alongside her, but she didn't look at Tali or try to scrutinize what she'd been working on; she gazed up at the drive core instead, the soft blue light playing across her strange, alien face. "The running and hiding and being shot at, or the general city-that-never-sleeps atmosphere?"

"It wasn't so much being shot at," Tali said, deflecting. She didn't want to look like too much of a troublemaker. "You saw the worst of it." This was technically untrue, given that she'd gotten shot before the encounter with Fist, not during, but she hoped Shepard just wouldn't remember.

"You're all right?" Shepard asked. "I know you said the Fleet gives you resources to help you survive out here, but I can't imagine they spend a long time instructing their young people on how to treat gunshot wounds."

The apparent concern was nice, but Tali just said, "You'd be surprised."

Shepard looked at her sidelong, some crease in her forehead deepening. "That's…" She paused, lips pressed into a thin line. "Troubling."

"The galaxy is a dangerous place. You don't need me to tell you that. And there aren't so many doctors who know how to treat a quarian properly, without making it worse, that we can go without learning."

Shepard's mouth went even thinner. "Well," she said, "Dr. Chakwas is qualified. I checked with her when you decided to come aboard. Not that I don't trust your handiwork, but if you want another eye, she's the best."

There'd been another response at the tip of Tali's tongue. Ready to insist that she wouldn't bother the ship's doctor with anything. But Shepard wasn't worried about that, apparently.

Tali had thought that Shepard couldn't turn away help, but she hadn't thought that Shepard would spend extra time looking after that help.

"Thanks," Tali said, awkwardly, unsure how else to respond.

Shepard shrugged one shoulder. "I've been shot at a lot lately. Can't help but think it's going to continue. Since you're standing next to me, best be prepared."

"I usually prefer to stand behind cover," Tali said.

Shepard smiled wide. "Hah! That a critique of my positioning? There were only so many places to stand in that damn alley."

It was a little hard to tell, smiles could mean so many things, but there was a...warmth, to Shepard's voice. A cheeriness. Tali guessed that she was joking, and hoped she was right.

"No, I'm sure an N7 knows what she's doing," she replied.

Shepard laughed; Tali had guessed right. "Glad someone on this ship believes that," Shepard said.

Tali didn't push her luck any farther, staying quiet. Shepard looked back up at the drive core; the mirth had softened her face a little, smoothing out the lines and creases. She looked a little younger, suddenly, than she had.

"Truth is," she said suddenly, letting out the words like a sigh, "we're venturing into the unknown. Does anyone know what they're doing, in those circumstances? No. You just have to prepare, as much as the galaxy lets you, and then you take your shot."

It didn't seem like Shepard was talking to Tali anymore, not really. More like she was restating a truth to herself, reaffirming it.

"So it's not the aftereffects of the Citadel's city-that-never-sleeps atmosphere keeping you up?" Tali asked. "You're making preparations?"

Shepard shook her head; when she spoke again, she seemed more present. "Nah. Sometimes I just like to come down here and look at the ship at night, while Adams isn't around to talk my ear off. I appreciate that the Normandy is a technological marvel, state-of-the-art, cutting-edge, but when he gets into the technical details I start to fall asleep on my feet. I just don't have the mind for it."

"It is an incredible ship," Tali said, with feeling. "I've never seen anything like it."

"Sometimes I wish I could understand it like Adams does. Like you probably do. But there's magic in that gap, you know? In the unknown. Ashley has her god. I have this."

Tali thought to tell her that there was still magic, even when you saw clearly how all the pieces fitted together; there was magic in it because once you understood, you could not believe how all these disparate parts managed to carry a machine, make it whole, make it live. But she did not want to talk Shepard's ear off, like Adams did, and risk making a nuisance of herself when Shepard had been so accommodating, so she stayed quiet, silently taking note that Shepard was a person aware of her own weaknesses, that she put other people on her team to make sense of that gap instead of leaving it shrouded in mystery.

"I won't keep you," Shepard said, pushing back from the console. "But if you need anything, don't be shy. Let me know. Special pillow, sleeping pod...whatever. I know we're not exactly outfitted for your people."

"I can make do."

"That's what I'm saying. You don't have to." Shepard started off for the cargo hold. "Good night, Tali."

"Good night," Tali said, watching Shepard go.

She'd wanted in on this mission. No hesitation. But she'd been braced for something...different. For Shepard to be someone different. Someone more like the people who, in their prejudice and ignorance, had gotten Keenah killed.

She was still braced. Just in case. But she was beginning to like Shepard.

#tali'zorah nar rayya #female shepard #female shepard/tali'zorah nar rayya #mass effect #pre-relationship #universe writes

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