#*updated* made some mistakes but I corrected it I hope :’D

[totemsp2blog]

Totem’s 2022 Backlog of shame Awards

Sometimes, I… wanna write about games. So here are some words about some games in an arbitrary fashion whose workings are known only to me.

I also play games, and then I don’t. These are their stories *dun dun*

“I paid my money” Award (also winner of the “Timesink stream jail” award)

Betrayal at Club Low

The Cosmo D experience.

Awarded for being purchased but I made the grave mistake of saving it as a stream game, because it was so much fun playing Tales from Off-Peak City blind, as well as other Cosmo D games on stream. The problem is… my streaming ‘hobby’ is dead in the water at the moment. As I’ve begun to refocus my social efforts away from the broad social internet at large (aka, social media in general), and into friend groups and regular hangout spots, it’s been making less and less sense for me to reach out to the internet void, and hope someone notices, which usually comes up empty. I don’t really have a presence or anything to sell, and honestly I think it’s way better this way. I mean, if you have friends, why wouldn’t you just chat to them instead of making short posts on to pop up on their timeline.

So, this award will be revoked once I reorganize my priorities and decided to just play it on my own or stream it directly to my discord friend group.

Besides, I never promised to stream it… that tweet doesn’t exist anymore never existed.

“I’m ancient now” Award

Cult of the Lamb

The government funded cult sim experience.

A game developed here in Melbourne, noteworthy for being funded by my state government, and thus has the ‘Dan Andrews seal of approval’.

It’s on the list because my taste in gaming has changed where action games don’t interest me as much as they used to. I wasn’t necessarily bad at the game, in fact I took to it quite well. I just stopped after a while because I’d simply had enough.

I even started my game over… for personal reasons… and that also might have something to do with it.

Who knew a certain action would permanently remove a follower from your Cult. I swear I would’ve torn that fucking rat’s heart back out and shoved his decap’d head in the composting box it I could’ve, for I am the god damn word!

*sigh* Did you know I once rolled back 30 minutes of progress in Subnautica because I ran my Seamoth into a Rabbit Ray?

“Master procrastinator” Award

Warframe: The New War (and subsequent updates)

The pre-Hydron experience.

Warframe had the potential of losing this award, but as you’ll soon find out, it was retained because I’m a fool… in fact, I was always a fool.

For the longest time, I thought the prerequisite for The New War quest was… well, how do I explain this to people who don’t play Warframe? It was a certain sword, and an equippable mech suit (no the Warframes don’t count as equippable mech suits… it’s complicated)

Anyway, I thought that for a long time, and even complained about it on the internet, only to get corrected and told “no, you don’t need the Paracesis, you get loaned one in the quest.”

“oh…”

So I didn’t have to do a dumb grind, and only had to do a much less dumb grind. With that in mind, my energy for the game came right back, fully intent on catching up a full year of content that I’d missed out on.

Only… for me to hop back in and start doing the exact same thing I’ve been doing in the game for the past collective year… grinding XP on Hydron… until I burnt out again. (oh, I also did a little resource collection to build a new pet, and then I took that pet to grind XP on Hydron.)

If you don’t know, Hydron is a location in the star chart that appears to be everyone’s favourite area to grind XP, or try out new gear while grinding XP for them. Reliably so, you can easily get a full party of pubs each mission. That’s all what I’ve been doing in Warframe for so long. Just hopping on a defense, testing weapons and frames, clicking on Grineer.

But what I should’ve been doing is tackling the requirements for this quest so I could enjoy new content and all I’ve been doing is playing a mission that has probably been in the game for almost a decade… because it’s a comfy place to meet up with 3 strangers and wreck house while playing with new toys, so that’s why it gets this award/excuse.

Runners up

Halo the Master Chief Collection

Pictured: Not MCC, also the Halo Infinite Beta Forge experience

Reminiscing about the old times. Haven’t finished it due to a bug with the music in The Maw. Very annoying. Would’ve gone on to play the rest of the master chief story afterwards… perhaps stopping at Halo 4.

Metroid Prime Trilogy (primehack mod)

The "Nintendo won't be happy about this" experience.

Speaking of Reminiscing about the old times, A way to play my favourite games of all time, with Keyboard and Mouse? And all the other features Dolphin provides? What am I waiting for? That’s a good question. I’m probably waiting for my current gaming obsessions to run dry before taking it on. It’s a good standby nevertheless!

Void Bastards

The Auspost experience.

This is a good game, featuring The Stanley Parable Narrator, which means I have a source of Kevan Brighting to tide me over while I wait 10 years to be able to play Ultra Deluxe again. This was a runner up for the “old bastard” award, because it deserves a mention, but I’ve put it down for similar reasons, though I haven’t suffered a severe loss to the extent that I did in Cult of the Lamb.

Deep Rock Galactic

The modded DRG experience.

This was a runner up for the “Procrastubator” award (ew). It too is a 4 player coop loota game with missions. But instead of weird space children telekinetically controlling people violently transformed into hunks of weird parasitic metal with the powers of the V O I D, it’s funny space dwarves digging a hole full of bugs. A great game, that’s fun with friends, that I’ve just burnt out on for the time being. I’ll be back for sure.

War for the Overworld

The 2010s unofficial-but-superior Dungeon Keeper experience.

I have but one more mission to beat in this game. Shamefully, this counts for more than one game in my collection, but this get’s a special mention because it’s a great Dungeon Keeper game that we should’ve gotten instead of that mobile shit pile EA put out. Well, now you can get this game and none of that money goes to EA, so it’s a win win!

Backlog of Shame Game of the Year Award

Death Stranding

The 'Bring your daughter to work' experience.

Content Warning: sad

When I finally got to see what the gameplay of this game was, I knew I’d get into it. And I did!

I got up to a point where I was using Excel to do my nerdy (autistic) thing of cost calculation, so I could quickly move the right amount of freight to build all the roads. And I was pretty thorough with areas before moving on. I may have put in roughly 50? or so hours before I moved on from the first area and as of now I have nearly 150 hours and I’ve only reached Heartman. And then I had enough for the time being.

Time passes…

Things change…

And now I have the Directors Cut.

And I want to play it… but I can’t.

It’s because the game makes me sad. Well, Sadder… I mean it was sad before, but now… it makes me really sad.

I should explain that it’s not the game that makes me sad (as much), but the use of licenced music. The tracks by Low Roar are hauntingly beautiful, and I had been enjoying them during my time playing and listening to them on my own… but I had been curious enough to read up on the songs, and the album they're from and find out what it's about. And right now, after things happening in my life, the subject matter is too sensitive for me to listen to them.

Some would say that embracing these feelings and exploring them through artistic mediums can be a good thing, but not when it starts being not so “being a downer”, more so “bad for my mental health” which may be a bit strong to say. I guess what I’m saying is it’s perfectly acceptable to give yourself some time away from subject matter you’re not prepared to deal with, especially when you should be taking extra care of yourself. Not just me, that counts for just about anyone I can think of. If you’re reading this, you count too!

I wanted to finish this game, to find out what in the goddamn is going on and what in the heck it’s all and going and why and… stuff. I was ready to hop back in when the DC dropped, but right now… it’s not the time.

Someday I will play it again, but that day is not in sight, and I don’t know when it’ll be.

Which is annoying since they just announced a sequel. Oh well, hopefully Kojima’s Xbox game isn’t so depressing.

Have a happy holidays, or at the very least, hang in there. It’s not the end.

Oh… and the...

“attention redirection” award

for game most responsible for putting a few games on this list is goes to my current obsession…

Space Engineers

The first space flight experience.

...thanks to the server I play on being back up and running. Plus runner ups for any games I’m playing with Server 9 in the interim.

LATE EDIT...

I have completely forgotten there was a game that absolutely should've made the list, a game so significant, that the endless praise I have heard from everyone in existence that knows of and has played it, was truly palpable. And it's a wonder how I completely forgot about it.

And so, I am giving the...

Backlog of Shame Lifetime achievement award

to...

Outer Wilds

The "Totem not played Outer Wilds because I just... I dunno..." experience.

I have no excuse for this one.

Maybe the explorative adventure game design is not my cup of tea... which doesn't make sense because I love Cosmo D games. But Cosmo D games typically give you a hand because they understand that you're ultimately here to look around. Perhaps I don't comprehend the difficulty of the game yet (not with just 2.9 hours).

Perhaps... I'm...

I'm...

still obsessed with Space Engineers. Hey, it's kinda like that. You take off in your space ship, lose control, and then you crash. I wish Space Engineers has a time rewind function... oh that's called backup saves.

I dunno... It's just not... taking me. It looks and seems really goddamn cool, but I don't know, it's just not drawing me in...

oh it is drawing me in...

oh god it's drawing me in too fast HELP M- ...

Totem’s 2022 Backlog of shame Awards

Sometimes, I… wanna write about games. So here are some words about...

#video games

[jann-the-bean]

Fluffynightkiller

Day 1: There’s a first time for everything

•

•

•

“Hi welcome to-“ The barista gaped as a violet eyed skeleton entered his coffee shop. He was entranced by how elegant the skeleton maneuvered himself inside the shop. There was something familiar about this violet skeleton, but the barista couldn’t quite place his finger on it.

The other’s posture was tall, straight, and proud. Not a single limb out of place, no wasted energy in unnecessary actions. His eyes slightly narrowed, refusing to make eye contact with others. At first glance many may view him as arrogant, but not to Ccino. He noticed the slight clenching of his fist and his once graceful strides became rigid with every step he took. As if expecting someone to lash out and attack.

The proud skeleton sat at a table distanced from the rest. From his mannerisms it was obvious he disliked socializing with others. Even when sitting he didn’t slouch, his back remained upright, and his hands delicately placed on the table. How peculiar.. Ccino only ever recalled seeing just one other being who sat in a similar position. It was-

*Ding*

Ccino was pulled from his thoughts upon hearing the door open once more. This time a skeleton with no eyelights appeared. He wore a blue fluffed hoodie, with a strange black stain, and white shorts with a black strips on the sides. One of his sockets was half closed while the other fully open. He had a smile on his face which grew to a smirk upon laying eyes on the violet eyed skeleton. But his most notable feature was a bright red soul that was displayed for the world to see. Ccino hadn’t realized he was staring, he only noticed when the other raised a brow in amusement. He placed his hands in the pockets of his hoodie before making his way to Ccino’s direction. The barista gulped, unsure if he’d somehow offended the eyeless skeleton.

“Heya sweetheart, mind preparing us a couple of drinks?” The eyeless skeleton smiled as he placed his elbow on the table while resting his head in his hand.

“O-of course! What w-would you like?” The other responded trying his hardest to stay calm. His soul pounding violently against his chest as his nerves threatened to overtake him.

“I’d like an mochaccino with an extra shot of espresso” he turned to face the violet skeleton. “What do you want, boss?”

“Just get me a black coffee.” Ccino tensed for a brief second. That voice... it sounded way to familiar. As quick as the thought entered his head, Ccino was just as quick to dismiss it. He was working, he didn’t have time to think about non-work related things right now. However, the violet skeleton made eye contact with Ccino. In that brief moment, his stern features wavered for a fragment of a second, that the barista questioned if he imagined it.

The skeleton on the countertop chuckled and turned to face Ccino once more. “Alright, there you have it. One mochaccino with an extra shot of expresso and one black coffee.” The barista nodded and rang up his total. Ccino had told the skeleton he was more than welcome to sit and wait, but the other refused stating that “The view is better from here.” A wave of heat rose to his cheeks. He couldn’t tell if this skeleton was flirting with him, but it sure felt like it. The problem is... he was quite attractive... and charming too. Curse his amorous heart and falling for those who would never return his feelings. Especially for a certain black goopy skeleton.

At some point when Ccino was preparing the drinks the eyeless skeleton had to step out for a minute. The barista had forgotten to ask for a name to call out once the order was ready. He opted to just take the drinks to the violet skeleton’s table. It would probably be better than yelling across the shop trying to get his attention.

“Uhm... I’m sorry. I forgot to ask for a name, but here are your drinks.” Ccino gently set the drinks on the table and carefully ensured not to spill the hot beverages. “C-careful.. it’s really hot.”

Being in such close proximity Ccino noticed a few things he hadn’t before. It appeared that this violet eyed skeleton only had a single functioning eyelight. The other socket was a pitch black, with various cracks surrounding it. Actually, his hands and several visible bones appeared to be fractured. What could’ve happened to such a beautiful skeleton to have so many injuries throughout his body? It wasn’t a question he dared ask. It had to be something personal, and frankly none of Ccino’s business or concern. The violet skeleton nodded to Ccino’s warning but didn’t say a word.

The day passed like any other. Uneventful, and yet again the goopy skeleton had failed to visit. How long had it been since their last reunion? Months? Perhaps even years by now? He knew that Nightmare had used him. He was evil, a manipulator, ruthless, and unforgiving. But, he wasn’t a liar. From their very first encounter he was honest about the basis of their relationship. Ccino was good source to replenish his negativity, and in turn he wouldn’t harm him or his au. At least not in any physical way. The barista new he was being used, knew that the other didn’t see him as anything else but as a charging port. And yet, his silly little heart grew fond of the other’s presence. Perhaps it was because Nightmare was the first person he spent continuous time with. He became illusioned that for as long as he was alive he would have a companion of sorts.

Yet, one day he stopped showing. Sure Nightmare had the tendency to go weeks or months without visiting. However, this time it had been longer than usual. Ccino waited and waited until he slowly began losing hope. Perhaps, the other found a more suitable companion? Maybe realized the Ccino wasn’t worth being around? Decided it was no longer worth his effort to visit his pathetic AU just to see him? Tears burned the lining of his sockets. He shook his head and wiped his eyes. No, now isn’t the time for this. He still had to close up his shop- Ccino paused. Wait, those two why are they still here? He was referring to the eyeless and violet skeleton of course.

Strange, well they were newcomers and most likely didn’t know the shop hours. The barista removed his apron and gently placed it on the countertop, before making his way towards the two strange skeletons. “E-Excuse me.. I’m so glad you decided to support my shop today. But, uhm, it’s time for me to close for the day. You’re more than welcome to come back again tomorrow. I-If you’d like to of course.”

The two didn’t answer. It appeared as if they were contemplating what their response should be. A sinking feeling began to form in Ccino’s non-existent stomach. Were they going to rob him? He didn’t have much to offer just the money in the register! He could defend himself if needed but- he was outnumbered. Maybe he could manage to escape and call for help-

“Actually, we were hoping to talk to you in private.” The eyeless skeleton stated, his soul wavering for a brief second before shifting to an upside down heart. It was so beautiful and captivating. That Ccino had to resist the urge to be lost in its marvelous glow.

“P-pardon? You w-want to talk to me? About what exactly?” The barista was rather confused. He’d never seen these two in his entire life! How did they know about him? Were they maybe some of those ‘special’ people that Nightmare talked about? How they could travel to different universes? But what would they want with him?

“Well, being honest he,” the eyeless skeleton pointed to his companion. “Was hoping to have a conversation with you.”

The skeleton in mention tensed and averted his gaze from Ccino’s. It was clearer now that he was up close. The violet skeleton exhibited signs of slight anguish and remorse in his delicate facial features. But they were quickly concealed once again. No sign of pain, guilt, anxiety, or any other emotion were visible in the single eyelight.

The violet skeleton sighed before returning Ccino’s gaze. “Ccino.. it’s been a while hasn’t it? How have you been these past months.. perhaps even a year or years now? Hard to keep track of time in the void” The barista froze upon hearing his name slip past the violet skeletons mouth. How did he know his name? Did he introduce himself earlier? No, he didn’t think so... maybe his apron? No. He took that off. Then.... how? “You appear to be surprised. Well.. that is to be expected I suppose. How would you ever recognize me without my black attire.”

Ccino drew in a quick breathe. His body already having processed who exactly this skeleton was. Hot tears filled the lining of his sockets and spilled down his cheeks. His body trembled as his mind finally realized his identity. “N-Nightmare...?”

Nightmare tilted his head in acknowledgement. Smiling as if he were praising Ccino. “I’m impressed.. but you were always smarter than you looked.” A pause. Nightmare once again averted his eyes, a flicker of doubt flashed in that violet orb of his. “I didn’t come here to waste your time. So I’ll cut to the chase. As you can see, many things have changed since we last met. Clearly I’ve changed... and more than physically.... But.... I’ve done terrible- unforgivable things and I’m not some naive fool expecting mercy or to be saved. Yet, I do believe that you.. at the very least deserve an apology.”

Nightmare rose from his chair his eye never breaking contact with Ccino’s. “I sincerely apologize for my actions, and for using you to my own benefit. As I said, I’m not looking for forgiveness. I’m far beyond that. Don’t worry, you’ll never see my face again and you may live your life as you please. You are no longer shackled to me... you are free.... and this is my final goodbye.” The violet skeleton turned to face his partner. “Let’s go, Killer. We have overstayed our visit.”

Ccino couldn’t believe what he just heard. Was nightmare apologizing to him? Did that actually just happen? The once feared and powerful being in the multiverse had just apologized to him. I guess there really was a first time for everything. He blinked a few times resulting in fresh tears to stream down his face. Wait.. goodbye? Did that mean.. as in forever? No... No! No! No! No, he couldnt! He just got back! He just came back and now he’s leaving again? Now that was just cruel... how cruel and yet Ccino still couldn’t bring himself to hate Nightmare. His presence only succeeded in confirming what Ccino already knew. That he was in love with Nightmare.

Killer jumped to his feet and placed his hands in his hoodie. “Awe, you sure you want to leave so soon, boss? I don’t know, I’m sure there’s plenty to do here. Besides, how could you leave that cutie behind-“

“NIGHTMARE!” Ccino called out his voice cracking from the his sobs he continuously failed to hold back. Nightmare turned around to face the skeleton when- SLAP! The noise of Ccino’s hand making contact with Nightmare’s cheek echoed in the near empty shop. Nightmare and Killer were frozen on the spot. Killer wasn’t sure how to react. He was caught off guard and didn’t see it coming. He was half expecting Nightmare to crumble on the spot from his various fractures.

“T-that’s for everything that you’ve done to me! For using me! For leaving! For having the nerve t-to come back, apologize, and only to leave again! Y-you just want me to pretend like none of this ever happened don’t you!? To forget about you!!! Well guess what!? Screw you!” Ccino furiously rubbed his eyes trying wipe the tears away but to no avail. All his bottled emotions had erupted to the surface and there was no way to seal them away again. “How dare you?! Who d-do you think you are?! To just waltz in and out like you please!”

Nightmare turned to face the crying skeleton. He was more than confused. He was certain that Ccino would have been delighted to know he had been liberated from the chains of negativity. Free from him. He hurt him so many times, used him for his own personal gain, and never cared for his well being. So, why was he so upset now that he offered him freedom? He opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted when the small barista wrapped his arms around the violet skeleton.

“P-please... please stay! Please don’t leave me!” Ccino wailed as he clung to the skeleton before him. He dug his phalanges into Nightmare’s top refusing to let go, because if he didn’t hold on tight.... surely he’d disappear again. “I-I don’t want you to go! I don’t want to forget! Please! Please! Please! I’m begging.... Don’t a-abandon me.... n-not again.....” The white eyed skeleton trembled as he pleaded for Nightmare to stay. He knew it was hopeless he was begging for the impossible. All his cries and efforts for him to stay would be in vain. But, what else could he do? He had to try because maybe, just maybe the outcome may be different.

Nightmare was frozen, hands stuck in midair as he heard Ccino’s heartbroken cries. Ccino didn’t want him to leave...? Why? Why would he want him to stay? The very being that tormented him for his own amusement? Nightmare was at a loss. What should he do? Ignore the crying skeleton and leave once more? Or should he stay? Either way he wouldn’t be able to permanently stay in this AU. He’s made many enemies who would stop at nothing, until they saw him and those around him perish. He knew this, yet he couldn’t bring himself to leave right now. How could he just leave this fragile skeleton? Ccino always made things more difficult then they should be. It would’ve so much easier if he resented him and despised him. He should’ve screamed for him to leave- to never come back. But no, he was begging him to stay.

Something warm and wet trickled down Nightmare’s cheek. Panic settled in for a brief moment. Was he bleeding? How? He didn’t have any injuries! He quickly touched the liquid with his phalanges and was confused to see a clear substance with a tint of violet. It wasn’t marrow/ blood. Then he realized the liquid came from his sockets... was he crying? His eyes widen slightly. He was. Post his corruption he hardly ever shed any tears. Just once with his twin brother when that forsaken curse had finally been broken. The emotions he thought he’d locked deep in his mind had resurfaced with immense intensity.

Nightmare’s body moved on its own accord enveloping the weeping skeleton into his arms. He gripped his sweater tightly trying to ground himself, fearing he’d lose himself in his own overwhelming emotions. The two skeletons wept in silence as the eyeless one watched with a solemn expression. His soul flickered and wavered as he attempted to suppress his feelings. It was painful. Watching the one he cared for hurt, knowing he wasn’t the cause but another, and seeing for the first time another skeleton suffer because of their feelings for the violet skeleton. It was.. heart wrenching.

The two skeletons cried for hours until they could no longer produce tears. The smallest skeleton ridden with exhaustion lost that battle against his heavy eyelids. He rested his head against Nightmare’s shoulders, feeling a sense a protection and safety in his firm arms. “Don’t.... go.....” the barista pleaded one last time before succumbing to fatigue and drifting to sleep.

Nightmare held the small skeleton firmly in his arms. He glanced at Killer, who had faint black tear streaks on his cheeks. Then back to Ccino who, still in his sleep, clung to him desperately. For the first time, he was at a loss on what his next course of action should be.

Wooooo! What a way to start fluffynight killer week don’t you think? I know it ends on an angsty note but I thought it was fitting! This has actually been one of my few favorite stories to write! Hope you all enjoy it as much as I did!

This story was inspired by some incredible headcanons and by Zu’s comic lodestar! Wouldn’t have been inspired to write this story if it weren’t for them <3

Killer belongs to @rahafwabas/ @rahofy-sketch

Nightmare belongs to @jokublog

Ccino belongs to @black-nyanko

Fluffynightkiller week by @help-im-a-gay-fish

#my writing #scheduled #fluffynightkiller #fluffynightkiller week 2021 #fluffynightkiller week #day 1 #there’s a first time for everything #I really tried to incorporate a ‘first time’ for the three skeletons #it was a little hard but i think i got it #it’s a possibility that I may make a continuation of this! #but we’ll see #(Also side note you have no idea how much I struggled to copy and paste the writing here #(literally shouldn’t have been that hard lol XD #*updated* made some mistakes but I corrected it I hope :’D

[ssrasesvari]

SSraii's not that rudimentary thumb

Journ-Neet-/

©® SSraii

୬/୦୨

started and completed the living world totally

mistakes corrected ✔️

SSraii should study

୨୧/୦୨ made to get this cutie pie today 💚

& yes you may know or may not know but I'm coming here everyday to edit to let you know that I was alive today with your prayers & Lord's blessings and I'm studying , preparing 🦩. for betterment.... ..... 🌸

୯ ମାର୍ଚ୍ଚ ବୁଧବାର

GOC 1-9 lecture complete, reproductive health, plant anatomy, chemical control and coordination, (lect. pw yt), locomotion half

୧୦ ମାର୍ଚ୍ଚ ଗୁରୁବାର -୧୧ ମାର୍ଚ୍ଚ ଶୁକ୍ରବାର

ray optics, redox reac'n, digestion, tissue, locomotion (lec.,

I'm preparing studying whenever I'm getting any free time 😊

Divide into smaller divisions and try to complete, you'll feel easier this way, like don't we like to share small pieces of our food instead of taking the whole bowl alone. That's the trick

Now I've realised I've gotten a way to my dream. Preparing for neet with mobile now feels easier than my university degree and all, I hope I'll be successful oneday

bahut diya gyaan now seen what amount of gyaan I've listened or studied

It's Holi in my village so I'm getting bit free time ,

Holi holyday

୧୯-୨୦ ମାର୍ଚ୍ଚ

rotation ୧/୧୦, human reproduction ୧/୨, s, d blocks, botany whole lec'r (TS)

୨୧ ମାର୍ଚ୍ଚ - ୫ ଏପ୍ରିଲ

A long half month of days and a lot of problems here , I'm unable to study anything regularly like completing a specific chapter or something no just messed up whole last year a lot of problems, they continued early this year also but I thought I'll get some peace now and study still no so fate less I'm that no change again big big problems but I've studied like parts portions of books randomly whenever I got time, I've studied the theories of some chapters of physics but have not practiced any problems likewise I've read some random chapters of biology and chemistry, I don't think I can remember anything, but I'll hope the Lord will bless me with some stability in this daily hell life so that I'll be able to study in peace. 5/4/22

Also one thing I want to write/ mention here that there may be many people in your life with whom you're just living without any choices who just blame you for everything, bad mouth at you shout at you for like little or no reason, ruin lives then blame everything on God or moreover on you or the little phone which you just use for study without any choices, just ignore all these their words like we've a pair of ears so just listen in one ear inattentively and remove via the other ear, there are hardly anything in life which contribute , inspire us positively still we know ourselves what we do stay honest with yourself, your career as none cares ' here everyone is selfish, all just trying to take out my life anyways happy studying,, I'll update tomorrow I wish I'll be able to study here instead of crying and dying , 🦩🚶‍♀️❤️

୬ ଏପ୍ରିଲ

Dearest Lord Jagannath, please bless me 🙇‍♀️

sometimes I feel no now from somedays always that I must have done some severe penance no I've done maha maha maha paaps in previous life so now the punishment this rat race is taking out life out of me just wake up to work walk run , one real warning this govt jobs never ever do a very very very low pay govt teacher job, you'll suffer only and so your family no ijjat, no money nothing we're no reserved just pain and sufferings like never going to over in this life this is the reality one feet got injured no rest no care just run to work and now what my other feet also got injured in pressure and still I can't sit other than mere six hours time left to sleep in the end of the day I've no time for anything for myself and money it's not even enough to get a tution often I wander why so much work for this little amount of money even day labourers in my locality which was probably the previous profession of family men they earn atleast two folds more than this amount of money and it's sucking out life of us still we can't leave, not possible probably what to do now it's upto me only wheather I'll sleep in the last six hours of the day sleep or do whatever I wish and I choose to not it's not possible to sleep now without bringing a change into this hell life and to do that now I've only that much time available and I'll use that time passionately not like a machine and I hope I'll succeed oneday, this much of my part of real story today, just can't afford to keep holding the load this burden anymore

'studied a lot of chapters of phy chem bio randomly, I hope I'll complete some packages of theory left randomly today'

It has been ten days and I didn't know about this feature before, today I'm here again to update

୧୬ ଏପ୍ରିଲ

⑅ study to save lives

so I'll say if you're reading this and you got to study free like no work just study and personal care things no other responsibilities then you're fortunate। Yes you're I feel atleast just utilise your time properly, you'll succeed, here I'm just struggling to make time out of the whole day, no time to sit and I'm so tired to concentrate and study, still I'll just refresh my mind out of burden and got to read , it's high time now, form fillup I've not filled yet, I'll, about study I've just studied randomly and i feel it's not a big help in such like the best exam in country, so from today I'm thinking, I'm trying to study like not randomly bit like regularly completing and revising chapters, God bless me।

_ chem (modl.s)୨, ୨୧,୨୦ pap sol.n pract., bio.(Theo.finsh), phy(lec.s,q.s), umd(yt) & if i got to stdy sth adtnl I'll updt._

灬study to save lives灬˖⑅

galaxy lec.s

phy ☄️ ୧୩ blks, ୫-୭ times full revision

sunday, ୧୭, ସତର ଏପ୍ରିଲ,

Three months to the exam date, please bless me

Today was a very very disturbing and super busy day😒 morning was good then work relative came what to do what to think, just wake up to work make food so is it that life of a boy is easier than a girl!? I've no idea no need to know either, everyone has responsibilities but this much burden I'm dying how to balance my Lord? okay I hope I'll get to study in peace then rest in peace 😭

୧୮ ଏପ୍ରିଲ

-- ୫ ମେ

I'm feeling hell again I'm broken none to give suggestions I'm just trying to sort out everything myself and I'm tired and this healthy

What a busy useless life

will I ever succeed no idea but it's not time to cry I'm here to work whenever I've time, pray , refresh, work

my Lord! All glories to you please bless me

What I've studied

I've no idea how much I've covered

but I'm so I'll sleep now then waking up then work then study and I hope I'll be able to sort out something good before our family ceremony and it's just less than ten days now

We both are sad and crying and avoiding she's so sad what a shame I'm

am the worst child 😭 but what to do

I'm working whay more can I do

Please help me Lord 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

୬ ମେ

busy day well not a busy study day though

୧୦୦+୧୦୦+୨୫୦=୪୫୦ by mid ମେ ' - target -

Qns+theories '

NCERT

Mocks, qns, revision।

୧୫୦+୧୫୦+୩୫୦=୬୫୦

my love for the pink 🌸🦩💕

well I'm so fortunate 😒

Think different than the mass, than the most of us,

http://raiiatrims.blogspot.com/2022/05/im-alive-happy-its-already-may.html

literally everything went downhill after coming back from ceremony, I've no idea what I'm doing what's happening anyway everything is out of my control but guarantee in these last months since one month from then I've the best of food I can say it's a lot of mangoes and jackfruits

13/6

and from tomorrow mic will start here rip study

I'll fail for sure but I'm still in love with this blogging

😋 khata pani (pickle water) , we made puchka and chat at our home today after so long| ltasty prasadam for lifel raii

from now on

💗

#ssraii #ssraii challenges raii #SSraii-start this trend #as it's days but specific events #lecturers #youtube #neetaspirants #neet news #neet 2022 #sad but true

[too-scared-to-do-this]

Of the Devil’s head

Chapter three - Sneaky as a house fire

Sander’s sides fanfiction

Wordcount: 1165

Ships: still just plain old eventual prinxiety

TW: Ammmm.... I mean, death? Can dead people die again? Oh well... Some mentions of fire and burning stuff down, a bunch of complaining, mention of torture (nothing specific) and I think that’s all. If I missed anything let me know :)

Summary of the whole story: They say, the one that wears the crown rules all - the living, the dead, the walking, the crawling, the rooted, the sane and the mad. They say, once you own the crown, you become the  most powerful being on Earth and beyond. Roman’s stolen bigger things - a measly little crown won’t present a problem, even if he has to steel it straight off of the devils head!

---------------------------------------------------

Chapter three - Sneaky as a house fire    

Roman burst out laughing.

A cave? Really? They could have done literally anything else and that would be less cliché than a freaking cave!

Like, carving a hole in a tree. Or making a trap-door-like-contraption in the ground. For god’s sake, they are demons, they have powers - they could’ve made a portal! But no! These idiots went with a cave.

But, what did he expect? They left signs for if they got lost on the way back. Apparently, these creatures weren’t as smart as people gave them credit for.

He shook his head still snickering. This mission seemed to be getting easier and easier. If the servants were this simple-minded, how smart could the King be?

And while Roman took his sweet time entering the endless darkness; much, much deeper in the cave, the crackling and buzzing of Hell’s residents was in full swing.

“No! Please no! Please NO! NO! NOOOO!”

“Agh this is getting so annoying! Like, can you not? I’m trying to keep my hearing, thank you!” a servant rolled his eyes, pulling on the next soul’s arms. It pleaded and cried just like the one before, and just like for that one - it didn’t help. Remi sighed bored-ly and pushed him into the pit. “You see what I mean, babe? Bo-ring.”

The soul he was talking to was completely and utterly terrified.

The demon paid him no mind, though, and kept on talking. “Since Virgie lost his interest in torturing those measly humans it’s no fun here!” he tossed another soul down the cliff. It was it’s tun - the talked-to one’s.

Remi sighed again, falling into a daydream. “You guys have it so easy! Just stan around for days and then fall into the abyss. And you cry so much! I have it so much worse! I have been stuck here, working, for millennia! And there’s not a single Starbucks down here!!!”

The soul galped.

“HHhhh….” deflated, Remi rolled his eyes and sent it flying down the hole. “They don’t pay me enough for this…”  

And while Remi kept on pushing damned souls into the fiery pit of Hell, Virgil sat on his throne, sprawled out. Scrawling through tumbler aimlessly.

It took him literal years to figure out how time worked down here. Turns out it doesn’t. You’re a timeless being living in a timeless hole. But tends to forget about it. Millenia is a long time to keep track of…

All he knows, that it’s been much over 2000 years since he first sat on this throne. It hasn’t gotten any comfier - the same shitty stone seat as before.

His father used to say he’d get comfortable once he got used to ruling. Well. Save to say neither of those things ever happened.

So now V just sits, scrolling through tumbler, bored out of his mind. Torturing souls isn’t fun anymore. And humans just don’t interest him. They all want the same thing - money and fame. No matter what time-line you’re in, it’s always like that.

No wonder so many people end up here.

It’d be fun to talk to someone though… anyone.

“Agh! Virgieeeeeee! I am soooo booooreeeed!” came Remis wine as he entered the throne-hall.

Well maybe not anyone.

He put his phone down and sat up a bit straighter, one leg still over the armrest. “Then go do something, Remington. there’s always work to do around here. Go look around and you’ll find something interesting.”

The skeptical glare the servant through at his king was beyond acceptable. But with him doing this for years, V just got used to it and didn’t pay it any mind. The dramatic demon slumped his shoulders and threw out his hands. “You know what I’m talking about, Vee. There is literally nothing to do here!”

“Well, what do you want me to do? I can’t exactly up and leave. And I can’t let you out either.”

“Oh, come on! That happened one time!”

“Remington, you burned down a Starbucks because they didn’t get the drink you wanted.”

“Yeees… I diiiiid… but she was being so mean to me! I politely asked and she refused to give it to me!”

“You burned down the whole building.”

“Babe, I needed that coffee!” he threw his hands in the air. Virgil just razed a single eyebrow at this. “Oh, my gosh! Okay, okay. I was wrong I get it… But I am a demon after all, it’s my job to do bad.” the servant grinned cheekily as if that would excuse any of his actions. “Besides, you used to love when we tortured humans. You can’t tell me you don’t miss their screams of terror!”

If Virge was honest with himself, he really did miss the rush of it all. But the faces of those people, the screams… They have all been haunting him since then. Coming back in his dreams to wake him. To ask him what wrong did they do to deserve such a fate… And V didn’t know. many of those people probably didn’t even deserve what they did to them… So, no. He didn’t miss it one bit. “You tell me. You are a Mind-reader, after all.”

“Agh! You’re no fun!” Remi rolled his eyes. “I miss Fun Virgil. If you see him, please tell him I desperately need him to come back!”

Just then, Virgil caught something in his peripheral. A white thing rushing between the thick stalagmite columns. He watched it sprint out and hide behind the next. Getting closer to the throne.

V bit his lip. Now this was something interesting. This might just turn out to be fun. The entity leaped out again, moving to the next stalagmite.

The devil looked back at his servant and grinned. “You want Fun Virgil back?” Remi turned his head with interest, eyebrows high on his forehead, grin in place. “Watch this.” the kind mouthed, nodding slightly towards the moving white blur.

The servant’s eyes widened. The sharp intake of breath that was done purely for dramatics, earned a silent glare from the devil. “So… you want me to get back to work then?” Remi tried to correct his mistake; eyes glued to the uninvited entity in the room.

“Yes, that would be great. There are many souls that need to be terminated. I don’t want Hell to get overcrowded.” V played along having lost the white blur from his sight.

Roman, who still thought he managed to get this far completely unnoticed, tried to climb the gigantic stone throne from the back. His plan was to reach around the side very quickly and snatch the crown off of the devil’s head. Then run, obviously.

It wasn’t really Roman’s strong suit, this planning stuff. But that never stopped him before.

He was so close already! Just had to slowly stick his hand out and grab the cr-

He didn’t estimate the distance he had to reach for correctly…

Roman went flying over the thrown straight onto the devil himself.

---------------------------------------

Ouuh I’m back! And I wrote another chapter! Be proud!

No writers-block is stopping me from making Roman embarrass himself in front of the Devil!

So... I don’t know when the next chapter’s coming... I’ll do my best, but school has started again and my little bro’s on zoom-school too, so I’m basically doing homework for both of us. 

I’ll keep you updated though :D

Anyways, as always, I really really hope you liked it! <3

Thanks for reading! :3

Tag list:

@alice-only-me

#hell in its gruesomely funny glory #of the devil's head #demon/thief au #Virgil the king of hell #Roman the thief #prinxiety #prinxiety fanfiction #ts roman #ts virgil #ts remi #sleep #tomas sanders #sanders sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #what else should I tag?

[ragingbookdragon]

Under Enemy Fire PT. 2

A Shay Cormac x Reader Story

Word Count: 1,670 Warnings: Explicit Language, Mentions of Death

Author’s Note: Hi...I have no excuse for not updating this :D. Enjoy! -Thorne

“Did you know she could fight, Master Haytham?” His eyes flit from the pages of the book to the man sitting across from him.

He inhaled, snapping the book shut with a crack that seemed to echo inside the carriage. “Surprisingly, Shay…no.” He paused, gaze shifting to the window. “But a great deal of things are now becoming clear about her that had been hidden before.”

“Like?”

“She’s been trained. From birth…much like I was when I was a child.”

Shay regarded him a moment. “Did your father teach you?”

Haytham nodded. “He did, as did other teachers when he died. I suspect Lady (Y/N) has had masters of all kinds train her.”

“Why keep it hidden?” Shay wondered aloud, arms crossing over his chest. “If she’s the only living child of one of ours, that means at some point she’ll have to take over for him. Why not go ahead and establish herself in the Order?” He looked to the templar across from him. “I think we can both agree that she’s strong enough to hold a high position in the order…higher than me.”

Haytham went silent a moment, then hinted, “Perhaps she’s been waiting for a more opportune moment to reveal herself.”

“And when would that be? When she’s found a suitable partner?” He frowned. “If that happens and she marries, she’ll lose the inheritance. She—” Shay shut his mouth, a look of amazement crossing his face as he remarked, “That must be the reason she’s refusing all the suitors. So that she can keep her inheritance.”

Haytham merely tipped his head to the side. “We’ll never know until we ask.” The hunter turned his eyes to the manor in the distance, settling back in his seat as they arrived.

The doors opened and as they climbed out, they were met by a stoic man. He turned, letting them pass before addressing, “Masters Kenway and Cormac, welcome to the (L/N) manor. I am Jameson, the family butler.” They nodded. “I regret to inform you that Lady (Y/N) has yet to return from her morning activities.”

Shay cocked an eyebrow, quipping, “And what are those? Balancing books on her head and needlework?”

The butler simply looked to the manor doors. “Swordsmanship and hand-to-hand combat, in fact.”

The templar went silent as Haytham let out a rare snort before asking, “Shouldn’t she be practicing in the manor?”

Jameson hummed as they climbed the steps, and he opened the doors, letting them inside. “She was earlier, but then she went off into the woods for a bit of hunting.”

“What’s there to hunt?” Shay had taken to picking at the trays of food on the dining table, much to Haytham’s dismay.

“Other than the normal wild animals such as bobcats and deer, nothing special. She simply leaves and returns hours later with a few pelts.” The butler handed Shay a handkerchief, watching as the Irishman thanked him. “A few years ago, there were poachers on the lands. After multiple requests for them to leave, she gave them a final warning to leave the land or she would take matters into her own hands.”

Haytham arched an eyebrow. “I assume they didn’t take her seriously?”

Jameson nodded. “She came home that night covered in blood. We did not ask…and she did not say.” He cleared his throat, motioning to the table. “She requested you to stay in here if she had not returned in time. But I suspect she should be back soon.” The two nodded and he bowed his head. “Then I shall take my leave.”

He disappeared down a hallway, and Haytham reached over, whacking Shay’s arm. “Quit eating!” He hissed, glaring as Shay dodged another swing to shove one of the hors d'oeuvres into his mouth.

“Oi, it’s here for us! We might as well eat it!” The Grandmaster grunted, turning his eyes to the forest behind the manor; he could feel Shay lean close, gazing out the window as well. For a moment, neither spoke, then the hunter muttered, “Please don’t tell me we’re going to do what you’re thinking about.”

Haytham stood straight, making his way to the back door. “We are.” He opened the door. “Come along Shay, we’ve a huntress to collect.”

Shay groaned, but conceded, keeping in step as they made their way across the field. “This is going to take forever.”

“It certainly will if you keep blathering about it.”

“Well begging your pardon, sir, I didn’t expect to be tracking down a master huntress.”

Haytham tossed a look over his shoulder. “That’s your possible betrothed you’re speaking of.”

The hunter felt is cheeks warm and he grunted, stepping over a fallen tree branch. “It’s a little early to call us that. We just met a week ago.”

“And yet, you seem captivated by her already.”

“Speaking of betrothals, if her father is the one having her meet with members of the order…have you and her…you know…”

Haytham let out a sigh, reaching up to run a hand down his face. “Oh, for God’s sakes. That’s where you’re taking this conversation?”

Shay shot him a grin as he passed in front of him. “I was simply wondering if the two of you were set up for a possible marriage. What are you talking about, Master Haytham?”

The other templar shot him a pointed look. “It’s honestly surprising that you haven’t been shot yet.”

“Oi, I’ve got the scar on my shoulder blade to counter that.” He waved a hand. “Really though, were the two of you introduced at some point?”

Haytham hummed. “We were. That’s how she and I met a few years ago. I’m surprised I didn’t see through her façade back then.” A silence stretched between them and he glanced over, ribbing, “Don’t think about it too hard, Shay. Your brain might explode.”

Shay snorted and shook his head. “You seem to enjoy her presence…you definitely respect her. The two of you are from well-known and respectable families…why didn’t the two of you marry then?”

They stopped in the middle of a clearing, and Haytham said, “I do respect her. I can count on one hand how many women I genuinely enjoy being in the presence of and she is one of them. I asked her if she would want to marry, but she politely declined.”

“Any reason why?”

“I didn’t ask.”

Neither spoke and Shay looked into the forest, sighing, “We’re never going to find her. This forest spans hundreds of acres.” He met Haytham’s eyes. “She could be anywhere.”

Before he could respond, a voice sounded from above. “Giving up so soon?” The two templars reacted like startled deer, spinning on their heels to gape at the woman crouching atop the hunting platform. “I figured you would at least try and find me.”

Shay cocked an eyebrow. “How long have you been following us, Lady (Y/N)?”

She turned her head, nodding to the way they came. “I saw you come up the pathway…then I heard you enter the forest.” (Y/N) looked back at them before descending the platform, landing a few feet away; she stood, slinging the musket across her back as she made her way past them. “With all due respect, Master Shay, you are rather loud.” Haytham let out a chuckle as the hunter began to silently gripe. “I apologize for not being back before now. I made the mistake of leaving my pocket watch.” (Y/N) paused, looking at them. “I do hope you can excuse me for my tardiness.” They waved her concern off and she nodded, turning back towards the manor. “Not that I do not mind the visit, but I am curious as to why you are here. This does not feel like a friendly house call.”

At that, Haytham finally spoke up. “We came to speak to you about your position within the order.”

Though her steps faltered a bit, she was quick to hide it. “Even though I am not a templar?”

“You’re good at lying, Lady (Y/N), but you’re not flawless at it.”

(Y/N) spun on her heel holding a challenged spark in her eye. “I have seemingly fooled you and the rest of the order for a few years now.”

Haytham stood apart from her, steely gaze matching hers as he countered, “And now it is crystal clear that you were the one who helped to conquer the bases in Boston from the assassins a few years ago.”

She pursed her lips, then tipped her head in agreement. “That is a fair point, Master Haytham.” (Y/N) waved a hand. “So, what is my position within the Order? I cannot imagine many will be accepting of me taking up a spot.”

“Why do you say that?” Shay inquired.

She glanced at him. “Have you met half the men who are Templars? They are sexist pigs who would rather order a woman around than listen to one.” (Y/N) sent a withering glare to Haytham. “If you even think of putting me under any of the men from Boston, especially Hickey or Lee, I will put them six feet under.”

He narrowed his eyes with a rather amused fashion. “You truly hate Thomas and Charles, don’t you. Lady (Y/N)?”

“I despise them.” She corrected. “Hickey is crude and salacious, and Lee cannot seem to pull his head from where he has shoved it up his ass since becoming a Templar.” She let out a huff, then took a deep breath to calm herself. “They might be efficient at their jobs, but they sully the Order with their actions and behavior.”

“I think you’ll do fine where I’m going to position you.” Haytham said.

“And where will that be? Here in New York? My standing already dictates I oversee much of the business within the city, even Templar business.”

He smiled at her, though his eyes were holding a humored look. “Oh, have no fear, Lady (Y/N). I’m actually putting you on the Morrigan.”

She and Shay both had the same reaction. “WHAT?!”

#shay cormac x reader #shay cormac x reader imagine #shay cormac x reader imagines #shay cormac imagine #shay cormac imagines #ac rogue imagine #ac rogue imagines #ac rogue #assassins creed #assassins creed imagine #assassins creed imagines #assassins creed rogue #assassins creed rogue imagine #assassins creed rogue imagines #haytham kenway #templars #assassins

[coralstudiies]

SURVIVAL GUIDE & STUDY TIPS

hello everyone!! this post is a collab with the lovely and amazing @boinkhs because we've both reached 2k followers :D she'll be doing study tips for college students and i'll be doing study tips for high schoolers. check out her post here!

i've split this into part 1. survival, which concerns how to study & learn better in general and just tips on how to get through high school. part 2. is on specific study tips for each type of subject, namely sciences, maths, languages and humanities.

Hope this helps <3

1. Don't snooze please

you just end up snoozing 5 times then you’re late for school

2. If you find you have difficulty getting out of bed, just keep in mind ONE TASK you need to do.

for example, making your bed. then you just gotta focus on that! it should help fight the sleepiness because you’re forcing your brain and limbs to be active.

3. Do the necessary things like brushing your teeth, putting on clothes and eat breakfast

i don’t know why but some people don’t eat breakfast before coming to school like ???? excuse me ???? please eat at least a small snack, or a fruit or something. your body doesnt function on an empty stomach! also, drink some water to hydrate yourself

4. On the road, you should do something that puts you in a good mood.

for me, i go straight to spotify and listen to my playlist. you should also review the previous day’s learning so that you refresh your memory before going back to class. personally this is my fav part of the day HAHAHA

5. If you like, you can choose to read a book.

just make sure you’re calm but ‘warmed up’ to focusing in a sense.

1. Hydrate frequently

idk man it just keeps you awake + i dont feel so icky if i drink enough water

2. Learn actively

if the teacher asks questions, try to answer. sit at the front row. offer to help give out the worksheets or notes. clarify your doubts after. when they speak, copy down notes. don’t worry about the aesthetic; i mean you can but you need to write fast and neat which unfortunately doesnt come together very often. i suggest you spend more brain power digesting and understanding the content.

3. Don’t over highlight

ONLY KEY POINTS that are stressed by the teacher. you can tell when their tone changes, expression changes, when they use more hand motions, or they keep repeating a few key words. yes , that. highlight that. stare at it while listening to them speak. make sure you understand. if you don’t please ask. but make sure you don’t have a fluorescent page because that’s not ideal study material!

4. Write down any questions you have

if they’re answered in the lesson, cancel them off. if not, ask after the lesson. dont be scared! *sends virtual courage*

5. Use whatever free time you have to finish homework

because you’re gonna thank yourself later. you should spend more time at home revising than doing homework. ( doing homework isnt equivalent to revising PLEASE I KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY REVISED FOR 3 HOURS BUT ALL THEY DID WAS HOMEWORK ) also it feels better knowing you have one less thing to worry about

6. Record down all assignments, due dates and test dates

do it in a planner or your phone. doesn’t matter just keep them somewhere. it can be demoralising to see an entire entry of shit to get done but still it’s better than not knowing what needs to be done. ignorance is NOT bliss. try to color code or symbol code them, for example • for assignments (due date behind), - for tests etc. act on this when you go home (see below)

7. Have a file/binder some form of organisation to keep different subjects’ worksheets, tests, notes, reading etc.

you can have one massive binder, one binder for each subject, one folder file for each subject or anything that suits you. for me, i clip all materials of one subject together with a binder clip. the materials i use most are at the front for easy reference. then put those bundles into zipper files, perhaps one for math and sciences, another for languages and humanities. or whatever suits you best! make sure you have everything in one place so you don’t panic and dig through a pile of dog-eared paper.

8. If you can, when it’s near the exam period, don’t stay back after school unless it’s to study.

i used to stay back for training and to play volleyball with my friends and i kid you not we would play from 2pm to 6.30 pm and get nothing done but it was fun. and i’m not saying deprive yourself of that fun but when the exams are near, you should be studying somewhere quiet/ somewhere you can focus. you should go somewhere (preferably home) where you can focus and get things done.

9. Decide if you’re a lone wolf or if you need a study buddy/study group

personally i’m a lone wolf because i hate distractions and i don’t want to distract others. but when my friends ask me for help i don’t mind staying back a little to teach them and/or study with them. Personally i find that for subjects like english which require you to write about an array of topics, studying with someone else can help in generation of essay points and to just broaden your understanding of the topic. so yeah it really depends, just do what suits you :)

10. Take notes in class

try to understand while copying, and if you didn’t understand something, you should raise your hand and ask for the teacher to repeat so that you hear it again. also, it gives you more time to take notes as they re-explain the content. read them after the lesson is over to help internalise some facts. you can create your own method of organisation for your notes, e.g. colour coding.

1. Review the day’s learning on the way home.

if you take public transport, try to flip through your notes and worksheets to review new content for the first time.

2. Eat lunch, have a snack, take a shower, everything that’s necessary.

if you use your phone while eating, make sure you don’t eat slowly just to use your phone because that’s wasting time.

3. If you’re super tired, just have a 15-20min power nap

nothing more otherwise you will NEVER wake up until the dead of night. just take a nap to get some energy back. doesnt matter if you wake up feeling more tired, because you’ll shake that feeling in a while. keep a glass of water beside you so that you can drink it once you wake up!

4. Look through your ‘list’ that you made earlier in the day. (in class, pt. 6)

you might want to spend max 10 mins updating your schedule. then stare at the dreaded homework. start with the easiest and least time consuming to build up momentum. this could actually be the remainder of what you’ve finished in school. then look at the due dates. do them in order of due dates. unless it’s a huge project or assignment, you might want a head start on it!

5. With the remaining time, you should start revising

review the day’s learning AGAIN.

make notes/mindmaps/flashcards whatever works for you. you should prioritise the subject or chapter that you were most confused about. quickly revise and try to clear up any questions you have about the chapter. if you have additional time, go ahead and make notes for the next subject! another way is going through corrections and clarifying your doubts with friends/teachers, and summarise the day’s learning on a post-it or two. if you’ve already taken notes in class, look at other sources e.g textbook and combine what you’ve learnt before re-writing or re-organising your notes.

1. Pack your bag!

remove unnecessary materials, and pack the necessary one. make sure your bag isnt too heavy. you can choose to hand carry some files or binders if they’re too bulky, but make sure you’re all packed before the next morning

2. Have a meal & clean up

again, basic necessities. don’t go to bed hungry or feeling icky because thats not how you treat yo self!

Before class:

if you’re going to continue on a chapter, review the content that came before it. Try to make your own connections between the already learnt and to-be learnt content so that you’re mentally ready for class.

In class:

take down notes, highlight, annotate and DRAW DIAGRAMS. you can’t do sciences without diagrams. for physics or chemistry which require more calculation, copy down the problems your teacher goes through and solve them along with him/her. write the formulas on a post it note so you can stick it onto the page where you’re writing for easy reference. if the teacher plays a video which is MOST DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO WAIT FOR YOU you have to write only the relevant points in the most abbreviated form possible.

Note-taking:

I find that linear notes help me most in sciences. for chapters that involve lots of interconnected processes, for example o chem, then mindmaps or flowcharts will be helpful. also if you tend to forget something, post-it that stuff on the front page of your notes where you are FORCED to stare at it. yes. write down example problems and their steps, then write explanations for each step so that if you’re confused you can always refer back. again, draw any required diagrams.

Answering techniques:

if there’s a ‘standard’ way to answer it then you have to make sure you follow that way even in your homework because it’s muscle memory. when you get to exams, your hand will automatically write in the same format so you don’t lose marks or spend time recalling the correct format.

imo sciences are quite logical so as long as you remember and follow the flow you’ll be fine!

In class:

copy key terms, facts and examples and write all examples that the teacher has gone through. write all formulas and definitions on a post it, then shift it around the pages as needed. if there’s a type of problem you particularly suck at, ask your teacher for help IMMEDIATELY because it’s so easy to forget the steps to a problem.

At home:

do your homework, do additional practice, correct your mistakes, clarify, and repeat. memorise formulas and definitions (perhaps using flashcards or post its) then practice more and make sure your concepts are strong. there’s no easy way and sadly this is all i can comment.

In class:

copy down notes, think actively, and if you’re given a sample essay you should annotate the heck out of it and keep it somewhere safe.

For essays:

read up more and write up. befriend the best writer in class and ask for their essays. write essay plans and consult your teacher. brainstorm possible approaches with friends. read the news, and copy the links of interesting online articles for future reference. have a go-to list of examples and quotes you can use, for any and every topic. read these like your bedtime story and never forget to keep updating them.

For comprehension passages:

read the questions first. then you’ll be more sensitive to what you need to read in the passage and how you need to analyse it. try to question yourself about how and why the author does something or makes you feel something. do not rush-read the passage or you will fail horribly (personal experience). do one or two extra comprehensions and ask your teacher to mark them.

In class:

ARROWS TO LINK EVERYTHING and annotate any class notes given. write down new examples provided by the teacher. if there is a link you ‘can check out’ go check it out. it’s probably something thats gonna be on the exam.

At home:

you have to rely on mindmapping and flow charts because everything is linked in some way and you cannot ignore those links!!!! although i do my humanities notes in linear form, my in class notes are all in the form of mindmaps. and actually i revise from those in a pinch because i can see everything at one go. watch vids on the concepts, for example plate tectonics. those things are so hard to see when they’re deadass sitting on the page and not budging. watch a video where they really move instead of being frozen.

If you’re so frickin lost:

watch more videos on the concepts, watch more videos on the events, search up interpretations online and ask your teachers!!! for everyone who gets equally lost as me when i’m faced with a new chapter, another way is to pre-read before the teacher starts teaching. if you’re lazy to read just watch a couple clips on it so that at least you have some background. even if you wake up the next day with 0 concrete memory, which you won’t, you’ll already have the flow of things which will help you if you’re usually the straggler.

(disclaimer i study geography although i've tried history and english literature but i think that they're similar to some extent, especially on how to study them)

#study #studyblr #studying #coralstudiies #revision #study motivation #notes #study tips #study advice #studying tips #studying advice #high school #lectures #tips #advice

[selfcareparker]

okay fghsgdj yes you can say girl ! my pronouns are she/her :) okay but fr pause, i read this like 3 minutes after you posted it (or at least my notif said 3mins lmao) bUT IM IN BED AND I USUALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER OPEN WITH YOUR RESPONSE SO I MAKE SURE I ADDRESS EVERYTHING AND THEN SEND IN THE ASK ON MY PHONE HDGSJSH anyway, time to get my ass up 😔 but wait i find you so funny like honestly, reading that cracked me all the way up. and i feel the “lol” thing so hard!!!! idk why i do it all the time (i’m tryna stop) but i’ll say something with lol at the beginning and lol at the end... it might be a defense mechanism at this point lol (😔) AND (i need to stop with the uppercase too it’s not funny anymore) I DONT KNOW WHY I LAUGHED SO HARD JDHSK WHEN YOU SAID ALSO AGAIN HAHAHAH LIKE UR HAHHAH also my sleep schedule is not pretty either lmao but i’m homeschooled so i never have to get up for anything? hhdhsis idk but i’m glad you slept!! you need sleep!!

also (pls no i cannot) why did i not know what ykwim meant until i reread this?? like it makes so much sense- anyway! i think it’s so cool that you’re excited for university! idk why but i do lol like you’re getting ready for the future (masters degree and all that) & you’re (maybe) going to england anyway so that’s cool haha (hopefully when you go you can see your relatives 🤞🏾)

the fact that you get happy seeing my asks i- 💓💓

you make me wanna go to London & England so bad urghhhh like i’ve only been out of the country once (to Canada for a family reunion) but it sounds so prettyyyyy & i’m so sorry that cov*d is messing everything up and i hope you can see your relatives soon :(

now to address the whole english speaking/writing: I FIND THAT SO WEIRD DUHSKSJ i don’t know how an english speaking person could say that if you don’t write it 100% grammatically correct.... that it’s wrong? when literally, over here at least, WE’RE SO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT HAHHAAH in both the way we talk and write!! and lol you’re welcome,, AND THE PARAGRAPH DID MAKE SENSE HDHSJSH & your rant is fine because... that is actually a bit ??? bc no one writes with 100% grammar lol

OH MY GOSH (see this uppercase thing is addictive) YOU STUDIED LATIN FOR 6 YEARS??? that’s really cool 🥺 the way that you know/speak 3+ languages i- NOT EVEN 3+ LIKE 6+ (german, english, latin, french, serbian, italian, and everything that comes with latin lmao) even if it’s just a tiny bit like wowee. it is really fascinating!!! i had the opportunity to take latin and i... didnt. i took art instead BUT ONLY CUZ MY FRIENDS WERE IN THAT CLASS AND ART LOOKED FUN IM SORRY

PLEASE WHY DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE?? that sounds so fricking cool tell your mom (mum or mama it’s really fine lol) that she sounds awesome. i think Jamaica would be fun either way!! i mean it looks pretty from pictures? i was a baby so i honestly have no recollection hahaha

LMAOO NOT U SAYING THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS- PLEASE GIRL IM TELLING YOU I VERBALLY LAUGHED HAHAHAHAHAH but yea you really don’t need to apologize i like reading everything you say 🥺 HDKSHS AND UR FINE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ME BEFORE uhhh hmm uhh lemme think i, well, i saw chaos walking yesterday (big tom holland fan over here) and it was alright.. my mom acted a fool at all the jump scares LMAO but it was funny... since i’m talking about movies (this is hella random i know) but i like shark movies HDKJSSJ my favorite is the meg (it’s so good ohmigosh) and the 47 meters down movies aren’t bad either... i have two younger brothers... iiiii AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC PHEW anddd i’m homeschooled (i think i mentioned that lol) i think that’s a good amount ahahaha AND IM HUNGRY RN JDHSJ

now. please. let me address the edit. i just want you to know that.. when i talk about your fics and i finish them and everything i’m not looking for more? like obviously if you’re writing i’m gonna read it but you don’t need to feel pressured or anything (idk if you do) to put more fics out lol like they’re great and i’m just sending the praise bc i love the ones that are there :’) but i’m so happy you’re working through your writers block!!! yay so so happy for you!!! and PUHLEASE anything you write is fantastic, i feel the exact same way when i write but girl. you’re fine. it’s gonna be great. (idk if this made any sense but... okay)

(and my cousin calls her mom mama so it’s really okay hahah i even call my mom mama sometimes) (and where you got the number “16 sentences” beats me but i still cracked up) (is this me pretending i had tags? maybe) HAHAHAHA OK BYE ❤️❤️ why did this take me so long to send i have no clue, AND WHY AM I OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING I SAID SHAJSHSJ ANYWAY BYE btw i love us too... like iconic // lovely anon 💓

me reading this:

also the dedication you put into sending me stuff— like with the laptop and phone and ahsksk 🥺🥺🥺

i’ll update you when i’ve started uni btw, i’m getting more and more excited every single day haha but i still have 3 weeks until it starts and even then I’ll obviously have to get used to it and everything, but you’re making me even more excited about it sksjshsg

yeah i wanna go to england too dkshsh let’s be sad together over the fact the we can’t travel eksjsh😔😭 but hopefully the wait will make it even better in the end <33 also i talk to loads of relatives over the phone at least once a week so it’s not too bad for me! but i miss their house 😭lmao

and i knowww snshsh so many native english speakers just make so many mistakes— and obviously i get that some things are slang but some things are simply wrong ajsh, the thing is no one has ever told me that my english is bad (i know it’s not bad anyway, but i’m still insecure) or no one has ever pointed out any mistakes, but yeah it’s mostly just insecurity dkshsg but yes thanks for saying what you said (previously as well as in this ask)😌🥰

Okay now for latin— girlll i don’t blame u for choosing art over latin esp. when all of your friends are doing art as well!! I’d choose art over latin as well lol skshsg but in year 6 we had to choose between latin and french, and at the time i didn’t like french? which was dumb of me and now i wanna learn french ekdhs but i don’t regret choosing latin at all bc if i properly learn french one day then i’ll already know understand loads of stuff (or at least some stuff lol) just thanks to latin 😌😌 but still, art>>>latin skskshshgs

I wanna watch chaos walking too!!! But i don’t get when/where/how it’s out lmao, cinemas are still closed here so i’ll either have to wait or find it somewhere online... il*egally 🥰 i don’t have high expectations at all btw but i like daisy and tom and the dog🥺 so i think i’ll enjoy it

GIRL SHARK FILMS SHARK FOLMS SKSJSHSHS okay so there are a few classics i haven’t watched yet, and also a few new ones that i haven’t seen yet BUT I LOVE SHARK FILMS SO MUCH SKSHSGSGSKK the first like proper shark film i ever watched was the shallows (which i like but my brain is still too small to comprehend what happened at the end (i mean i get it but i just can’t imagine it— idek if you’ve seen the film but skshhs)) and after watching it three times it does get a bit boring (but now whenever i see pictures or videos of big waves i’m just waiting for a shark to show up like come ON SKSJSG

^^^that pic/scene really traumatised me sksjsh but i still like the film

I only watched jaws like a few months ago, and i get that it’s a classic and also that it’s old and they just didn’t have the best.. equipment or special effects or whatever but i mean... look at meg and then look at jaws.... no disrespect to jaws at ALL but the meg is so much cooler. (That one scene on the boat where the shark just JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER AND SKSJSHHSUSJHA i get such a shock every time it’s so good (and the dog aww aksjshssli 🥺🥺🥰 and the boy with the ice cream lmao he’s iconic)

47 metres down, wow, i liked that film too. (i’ve only watched the original/first one i think) i mean that is such a fucking nightmare scenario like ALSJDHSNEMSKDJSHSJSKWBALSODUEWBSLDKHDJSNSKSKSHSGEBWKAISGSHEKEKSKLDJDJDHDHSHAGGA (that’s the best way i can express my feelings about that scenario lmao)

oh and i’ve recently been watching more horror films but i don’t know if they’re for me... I like the thrill and whatever but i just end up being scared for my life when i have to go to the bathroom at night or when i’m trying to sleep bc suddenly my mind is flooded with all the scary shit from the films 💀💀💀

and music i mean... you know those people who just don’t listen to music? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???? i honestly like all genres especially in the last year, i am IN LOVE with Nicki Minaj + Megan andddd Stormzy and i like Harry Styles but i prefer his first solo album (and obviously one direction has bangers i have a throwback 1D session at least once a month), I also love MGK especially his new stuff and otherwise i mostly listen to german artists lmao. So who do you like?💖 (WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOURE GONNA SAY SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKAHAGUS IF YOU LISTEN TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSIC DONT JUDGE ME AJSHDJS) (i know you’re not gonna judge me but)

++ @ the thing you said about writing, don’t worry, i don’t feel pressured at all!!! (not by you and not by anybody else.. except myself sometimes lol) and i’m just very happy that you liked my fics 🥰🥰🥰 and if i start telling people that i’m writing a fic then sometimes it puts a bit of (healthy) pressure on me. like yes sometimes it really is writer’s block, but sometimes i really am just lazy ddkshhd so now that i’ve told you i’m writing a fic i might get my ass up quicker than i would if i hadn’t told anyone 😌😌😌

#ok i wrote some if this on the tube/on the bus/at the dentist/in bed so if this seems like it’s all over the place #that’s bc i was literally all over the place skshg #*of #also i love how you used tags skajahsg #lovely anon #<3 #sorry if some of the sentences didn‘t make sense or were too fucking long i wrote half of this half asleep #and i know i dont have to apologise but still like no one should have to read all my page long sentences that arent even proper sentencesskk

[ikenbar]

Mr. Love: Ike’s Choice

Author’s note:

This story is one of my own OC for the game Mr. Love: A Queen’s Choice. Except for Ike and her family, all the characters belong to the creators of Mr. Love: A Queen’s Choice. This fan fiction will contain spoilers for the game so, if you haven’t played it yet or are not caught up to Chapter 18 in the game, this is your warning. (Though it will take me quite a while to get to any sort of spoiler and I will mark it as such when it comes to it so you have time :P) This is merely a fan fiction of the game containing my own character and her story. None of this is cannon. All that said, Mr. Love is such an amazing game. It’s so much more than just some Otome mobile game. Its story is intriguing, and the gameplay is addicting in the best possible way. The development team are so respondent and understanding and honestly just want you to enjoy their game. I have! And I will! And I plan to show how much I do through this Fan fiction! I’m honestly just here for a good time so let’s have fun! Right? I plan on posting on Wednesday/Thursdays so stay tuned!! I want to show you guys the world I have been making for so long and my love for this game. So, let's get started, shall we? :D

  Warnings: Talk of death (it’s just talk. There’s no real death. More like existential dread), Talk of abuse (this is just character development. It’s not an angst I swear), Grammar mistakes (I tried cleaning this the best I can but I may have missed somethings. I’m sorry ^^;), fluff, and cliffhangers. A lot of them. Prepare for one heck of a story

Chapter one:

Part one:

There is no such thing as a good way to die. Death is death. There is absolutely no way death could be justified. But that is the last thing you are thinking when it is your life that is at risk. The first thing of course being, “I hope he doesn’t miss me.”

 >>>

It was hard to believe that I had been working as a producer for Ike ’n Bar Production Company for nearly two years now. I founded this company alongside my foster father, Bartholomew Schmidt. Bart had an opportunity to create something. Something that would bring love and entertainment to children and adults alike. Something that would bless the world with its presence.... He couldn’t make it past week one, so he called me in.

I am not one that wavers from the facts. There is a place for everything in this world and I do my best to put everything in that place. I didn’t spend four years of my life studying the answers of the world to be creative. So, when Bart turned to me for help with his new show idea, I was more than reluctant to help.

“Come on.” He begged wrapping his hands around each other, “They won’t let me pitch the idea until the plot holes are fixed. You’re the only person I know who will tell me exactly what is wrong without sparing my feelings!”

“Your TV show idea is a waste of my time.” I deadpanned.

“See?!” Bart stared at me with pleading eyes, “Just read the pitch... please?” After a couple minutes of awkward silence to finally cave. I read it over once. Then twice. Then a third time. I still had no idea what the show was about.

“So, let me get this straight.” I sighed, “It is a sitcom about a teenage girl, who happens to be an alien, living her life as a normal teenager.” Bart nodded excitedly. “But her family and friends have no idea what she is. And she has to keep the powers secret because… reasons.”

“See?!” Bart laughed, “You get it! For some reason the network thought it was confusing.”

“...I’m going to say this, and I want you to keep an open mind.” I handed the pitch back to Bart, “The show stinks. We are scrapping this idea and coming up with a new one.”

“Oh come-...we?”

“There is no way you are going to make it through this business alive without me. So, let’s talk about an idea that isn’t overused and unoriginal and actually has some taste.”

“.... Did you just hire yourself on my team?”

“Yes. Do you have a pen and paper on you? Someone should be taking notes.”

 The new show we had pitched to the network was a hit. A sitcom about a family of robbers evading the police. They are trying to have a normal life as they live on the lamb. We called it, Show Me the Honey. Sending our average amount of views over fifty thousand. We worked on that show as we pitched others and made a name for ourselves and the company. Since I wasn’t one for limelight, Bart took care of the field work as I worked as the co-head of Ike ’n Bar Productions from behind a screen and in my office.

Things were just the way they should be. With me out of the way. Maybe if things stayed that way, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I could be at that desk right now. Working on the next show. Calling on my assistant for a coffee. Telling off the latest intern for screwing up the order of the files. I could even hear my father’s voice again as he calls me with updates from the field. But sadly, all good things must come to an end. This end started with one name. Victor.

 “Victor?”

 I repeated to Bart over the phone, stalling my note taking on the pad next to me. I was at my office that Monday afternoon. The sun was shining through the window behind me and onto my large, glass, desk. The sunlight reflected off my screen and into my eyes, causing my already rotten mood to worsen.

“Yes!” He excitedly sang, “You have an interview with him today at three!”

“That’s in two hours.”

“Right!”

“...Bart. This man is the CEO of LFG.”

“Correct!”

“Loveland Financial Group.”

“Wow, Ike! You’ve sure got this down!”

“...OK hold on, you want me to go to the head of the largest leading investor in all of Loveland and ask him for funding on a TV show that hasn’t even been green lighted yet?! And you want me to prepare for it in under two hours.”

“Oh, come on. Saying it that way makes it sound bad.” Bart pouted. “Miracle Writer is going to be a hit! And we are a well-known company! It's not like we are asking too much from them! Just a little something to start us off. Besides I already told him that my amazing co-head, Ike, was going to be meeting him so there is no backing out now.”

“Bart, why aren’t you going? Aren’t interviews your thing?”

“They are but… I’ve heard some ghost stories about Victor.”

“Ghost stories?” I skeptically muttered as I held my throbbing head in my hands.

“I hear he tends to be… stubborn when it comes to funding companies.” Bart said this in a low voice as if Victor would appear behind him to overhear his words.

“Oh, and you’re informing me about this now instead of a few days prior so I could prepare for such an important interview with him. Makes sense.”

“Ike, I know it’s a little out of nowhere-”

“A little?!” I scoffed lifting my head back up and pulling my bushy brown hair out of my eyes as I arched my eyebrows uselessly to the receiver.

“But just hear me out, ok?” Bart pleaded helplessly. I stayed silent. Bart continued, “Victor is known to be brash. He rarely, if ever, smiles. In fact, his poker face is known to strike fear into even the strongest of soldiers. He yells more often then he praises. His stance towers over most people and it sends a level of power that is like none you have ever seen. But most importantly, he is extremely close minded when it comes to lending his money. So, it would need to take a strong headed and strong-minded person to get through to him. To make him see that they are worth every dollar of his-”

“And you want me to do the interview because he reminds you of me.”

“Man, I can’t get anything past you.”

Bart had a point. I have a tough time with my emotions. Let alone other people’s. I am known to be inscrutable in the office and outside of it. In my defense, my tactless rule over the office is why everything runs smoothly. No one second guesses my commands and, if they do, it would result in an outcome that could only ignite more fear towards me. Besides, showing no emotions trains the mind to adapt and overcome the words of others. Which helps suggesting the amount of words the office has to say about me narrows down to about four letters.

The main reason I don’t mind it all though is because Bart is loved in the office. His bright and fun-loving attitude is a refreshment for everyone there. They all welcome him in with open arms and follow his every word with preciseness. He is so soft with them and normally brings free lunches for the office when he visits. Of course, all that sweet talk makes him a doormat when it comes to asking for things from him, but no one would take advantage of that. And get away with it that is.

Bart can barely talk to me without cowering under my intensity when we are face to face. I can’t imagine what Victor would do to him. He’d probably chew him up and eat him alive.

“Fine.” I caved, “If I’m doing this, I need to start working now. So, I have to go.”

“Ikamara Bikira, you are a lifesaver!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!”

I groaned slightly as I hung up the phone. Interviews made me uncomfortable. How do you start it off? Do you need to make small talk? Would it be rude to just jump into the subject at hand? Should you address people by their first name or something a little more formal? Do I need to smile the whole time? Or should I be serious from beginning to end? I rubbed my temples to soothe my growing headache.

“That man is going to be the death of me.” I muttered under my breath. Though this isn’t the first time he has thrown me under the bus, I owed him my life. He and his wife, Maria, were the first foster family to take me in and want to keep me. I had been through five foster homes before theirs and I had the scars to prove it. I rubbed my arm as I recalled the memories. The first home sent me to a sort of bootcamp. The second home neglected me. Third home gave me too much of the wrong kind of attention. Fourth home made me lose parts of myself. Including feeling in my left arm and my voice. And the fifth home... Snapping back to reality, I smoothed out the sleeves to my shirt and saved the sad excuse of a report on my computer. I can’t let Bart down. It’s just an interview. I can do this. I reached into the cabinet next to my desk for papers on out new show “Miracle Writer” and a couple pods of Advil.

 Stuck in traffic, I impatiently tapped at the handles of my motorbike. Normally traffic at that time wasn’t too bad but for some reason, we were at a standstill. Unable to rub away my ever-increasing headache, I looked impatiently down the line of cars ahead of me. They were stalled at one stoplight. Even though the light was green on our side, the road was blocked by another line of cars ahead of them. Keeping the car in front of me in my peripherals, I unzipped my leather jacket and pulled my phone from inside my blazer. I opened my moments and checked trending. “Super Star, Kiro, Signs New Albums at The New Light Mall.” So that’s why traffic is so horrible. The line of cars blocking the road must be the line of fans heading to the New Light Mall. I looked enviously at the line. Though immensely irritating, I would kill to be a part of that line if it meant I got to meet Kiro.

Kiro was an inordinately talented superstar. The spunky blond-haired, teal eyed man was very popular among teens and adults alike. He was an idol among millions for his talents. Which varied from acting to singing to dancing to even fashion. It seems like this young boy was too good to be real. Many believed he had the superpower to woo people with one glance. I, of course, found this difficult to believe…. Though even I found it hard not to enjoy his presence.

In fact. I was a very big fan of his. He just so happened to be my idol. His music was the main thing that got me through so many things. Moving from foster parent to foster parent, when I had become selectively mute, moving to a new school, the events of the fifth foster house. Kiro meant more to me than most things in my life. But you’d never catch me screaming his name or crying at the sheer thought of him. I had self-control. I had to have it. If any mention of me being a fan of Kiro in the office and my tough manager cred would be flushed down the drain. I had to keep my obsession closeted at all costs.

The cars ahead of me started slowly moving again so I put away my phone and slowly followed. The cars stopped soon after. I moaned and checked the time on my watch. 2:30. Maybe walking to LFG would be faster than this.

Finally, my bike slowly rolled up to the stoplight. Past this light, the traffic was much more free-flowing. I was the second vehicle in line. I could almost smell the freedom. My eyes lazily drifted to the sidewalk next to the stoplight pole. There stood a young man staring intently at his phone. He wore a black baseball hat, a red and white hooded t-shirt, and black jeans. He also wore accessories containing a pair of bulky headphones around his neck and a pair of sunglasses. I looked up at the sky. Dark clouds covered most of it. Why was he so heavily protected from the sun?

The APS from the other side of the street started beeping, signaling to a group of pedestrians that it was time for them to cross. The man started impulsively making his way to the street, not paying any attention to the fact that it was not his turn to walk. I watched as a yellow sports car started making its way down to the light and straight towards the man. I looked up at mine helplessly. Still red. I checked my watch. 2:45. I didn’t have time for this.

I cursed to myself and pulled my bike to the side of the road. I quickly pulled out my keys and dashed down the crosswalk and to the man. The car drove closer to the light. The car’s horn finally started blasting which finally pulled the man’s attention off his phone and to the road. He froze in place as the car came speeding towards him. I jumped off the ground and dove into the man, shoving him off the crosswalk and back onto the sidewalk. Safe from the sports car that now had zoomed past the light and down the highway. I lay on him protectively as I caught my breath. I pushed myself onto my hands and caught the last glimpse of the car before it sped out of sight.

 I cursed at it uselessly. I sighed and finally looked down at the man. “You O-” I held my breath. The fall had knocked the hat off the man, revealing wild, bright, blond hair. The sun shone onto his sunglasses just enough to show his teal eyes sparkling as he made eye contact with me. My eyes went wide. It couldn’t have been him. There was no way it was him.

“You- you saved my life!”

It was him. There was no way you could mistake that mesmerizing voice of his. Especially if you listened to him as often as I did. It was a higher-pitched voice but there was a sense of joy with every word he spoke. As if merely speaking was a gift to him. As hearing it was a gift to me.

“Thank you!” Kiro smiled at me.

(Next)

#mlqc #mlqc fanfic #mlqc victor #mlqc kiro #mlqc oc #mr love fanfic #here goes nothing #i have so much fun writing this but the anxiety i get with posting it is almost overwhelming pfft #it doesnt matter though #im writing this for fun #this will be something amazing i can feel it #thank you for reading #next post on Wednesday or Thursday #:D

[pandawritespoorly]

With Time: Chapter 21 - A Cat and A Bug

Author’s Note: Sorry the update is a little late today! I had plans I'd forgotten about in the morning and didn't have the chance to post the chapter beforehand. Without further ado, chapter 21: (Heh. I'm posting chapter 21 on the 21st).

Chapter Summary: Adrien and Marinette continue to hang out at her house, dealing with the aftermath of a reveal.

First | Previous | Next

“Plagg, Claws In.”

Adrien sits in Chat’s place, watching Marinette vigilantly, as though he can stop what has already happened.

“How are you doin’ kid?” Plagg sits next to Tikki on the cat pillow.

“I don’t know Plagg… she’s been right here this whole time. Shouldn’t I have realized? I was - am - so worried and I wanted to be there, and I didn’t even realize I already was there,” he looks to the Kwami, “Shouldn’t I have recognized her?”

“Adrien, the miraculous keeps you from recognizing each other. You still saw that they were similar people. Heck, you called her an ‘everyday Ladybug’. You recognized her as best you could without knowing they were one and the same.”

“Do you think she’ll be okay?”

“I think she’s getting better, and it will help now that you know and are in her everyday life. She’s not entirely better, I mean, sheesh, that paper she wrote…”

“Ladybug wrote that paper. About herself,” he covers his mouth at the realization, glancing down at the sleeping girl, “Oh, Mari…”

He notices the fallen notebook, picking it up. He’s about to put it back, but, well, curiosity killed the cat. It’s not like it’s her diary.

He opens it up.

 Things to Accept:

You messed up.

Everyone Most people at Françoise Dupont hate you

You don’t know how to do friendship properly. 

People want to believe you’re a bad person

You’re a terrible hero, and Paris deserves better.

You’re an obsessive stalker-ish creep.

No one actually likes you.

You shouldn’t be trusted with responsibility

 It just keeps going. He turns the page, hoping for an end, and instead is met with another list.

 Rules To Be Better:

Don’t cry

Smile

Be nice to people

Apologize when you mess up (again)

If someone needs a favor, do it

If asked, you’re doing good

Laugh at jokes, even when tired/sick

When tired/sick, do not show it

Take care of akumas as quickly as possible

Only lie if absolutely necessary - honesty is important

Adrien, Claude, Allegra, Allan, and Felix have been nice enough to put up with you, don’t make them regret it.

Don’t do anything that could attract an akuma to you

 He feels the tears prick at his eyes and shuts the book, ignoring the rest of the content. He’s seen enough.

“Kid?” Plagg has noticed his distress, “Adrien, what happened?”

Adrien hands him the book wordlessly. The God flips through it, frowning, “She must have kept this from Tikki too. When did she make this?” “How long has that been there?!”

Marinette shuffles in the bed, but shows no other sign of waking.

He looks to her again, he wants nothing more than to scoop her up and take her somewhere safe where those people can’t get to her.

He puts the notebook on the shelf, but at the front, where he can see it. No way he’s leaving without addressing that.

As if he’d be able to forget it.

“Kitten, you should rest.” Plagg, looks at him sincerely.

“But Mari-” “Pigtails is sleeping. It’s winter, she won’t wake up before you. Take a nap.”

“I don’t want to leave her…”

“So don’t! You’re a cat! Flop on top of her. You’re basically a heated blanket, she won’t mind, you’ve done it during patrol before anyways.”

Plagg has a point. Adrien sighs, falling across his friend and blinking at her slowly before he falls asleep too.

--- 

As usual, it doesn’t take much for him to wake up. He hears some shuffling, and shoots up, glancing around him to be sure nothing is wrong.

He notices Marinette first - she’ll always be the one he’s drawn to. She’s almost awake. Now that he knows she’s Ladybug, he knows how to read her even easier. Her room is warm enough now, and with him right there, she’s about as awake as she ever is in the winter.

Well, she will be in a moment.

“Kitten, you should transform, you don’t want to stress her out too much.”

“Plagg’s right. It’s been quite the day, let her know if you’re going to detransform.” Tikki is awake too.

Adrien nods, transforming as she comes to. She doesn’t notice him as she props herself up on an elbow, but he sees the moment everything catches up to her and the tears that come to her anguished face break his heart.

“Mari?” He speaks softly, so as to not startle her.

“Chat?”

“How much do you remember of what happened?” If she doesn’t remember much he’ll try and spare her of the worst bits.

She’s silent, and he can see every expression as she relives what happened. It would seem she remembers quite a bit then. She pauses, frowning in confusion.

“I- Did I- Do you… do you know who I am now?” She sounds almost horrified, and he guesses she’s being too harsh on herself. He wants to tell her this isn’t a bad thing - shout it until it gets through, but that would only turn out badly.

He settles for smiling softly, ”I do. You’re amazing, Princess.”

“A-are you sure?” 

“I am absolutely certain. You are my fa-fur-ite purr-son.” He sneaks some puns in, hoping to draw her away from what must be a negative train of thought.

She scowls at him half-heartedly. She hesitates, looking uncertain, “So, you’re not...you’re not disappointed?” she gets quieter as she speaks, looking away and unable to meet his gaze.

“Oh, Bug. Never.”

She smiles, but she doesn’t seem entirely convinced.

“Do you want to detransform?” “Do you want me to? It’s alright if you don’t want to know.”

She shakes her head, ”No, it’s only fair.”

He nods, willing the transformation away silently.

Adrien sits in front of her, and Plagg flies off to be near Tikki, who has been watching silently. This isn’t for them, it’s between their chosens.

Marinette sees him, and sits shocked for a moment as she processes this.

Something seems to occur to her, and a smile slips onto her face. She covers it with her hand, but the grin only grows, turning into soft giggles, before she’s fully laughing.

It’s the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard.

“What? Adrien Agreste running around in a cat costume too much for you?”

She shakes her head, still trying to muffle her laughter and hiding her smile behind her hand, “No- no! It’s, it’s- It was a square! The whole time! It was a love square!”

He doesn’t quite get what she’s getting at, cocking his head at her, eyes shining in merriment, “What now?”

“Okay- okay. So-” She’s really trying her best to explain between her fits of laughter, “So. You, liked Ladybug, and Marinette was ‘just a friend’-” she held off the laughter too long and it spills out again.

He waits patiently.

“Ladybug wouldn’t date Chat Noir because she liked Adrien, and we were just-” She speaks through her continued laughter, “Stuck in a love square! We liked the opposite sides of each other- well I liked both -but it’s funny because it’s just so stupid!” she breaks into laughter again.

He takes a moment to process what she said, and he doesn’t ask for confirmation, because it feels right - fitting - that they both liked both sides of each other - and he’d hate to interrupt Marinette’s joyousness. It’s contagious, and soon he’s laughing too.

“I guess the square is a line now.” he says after they’ve begun recovering.

She seems surprised, almost as if she’d assumed he no longer cared for her, “Y-yeah, I guess it is.”

They sit in a comfortable silence for a moment, then her eyes land on the notebook, immediately noting its incorrect position. She turns to him - panicked.

“D-did you s-see that?”

“I did. It fell when I came in.”

“I-I-I’m sorry. I-” Her hands are shaking with her voice, he can see the horror on her face.

He cups her hands carefully.

“Marinette. You shouldn’t be apologizing. Not everything is your fault.”

“B-but-”

“Marinette. Trust me. You’re trying to take all this blame and it’s not for you. You haven’t been able to move forward because you’re still dwelling on it - you’re trying to figure out ‘where you went wrong’ but you haven’t been able to figure it out because you didn’t.”

She shakes her head.

He grabs the notebook, opening it up. He points at the first point.

 You messed up.

 “We’re going to go through each of them okay? You’ll explain why it’s there, and I’ll correct it. Can you do that?”

She nods hesitantly, “That one’s obvious. They all turned on me because- because I did something wrong, They’re good people, so I must have done something bad to earn it.”

Oh, he hopes his heart will make it through this.

“Or. They messed up. Good people can make mistakes too.” Not that some of them deserve that title anymore, but if he’s trying to correct her, he can’t shove a bunch of opposites at her, “They made the mistake of believing Lila, because they got so hooked on her stories that they forgot that you matter just as much.”

She looks doubtful, but nods, pointing to the next one.

 Everyone Most people at Françoise Dupont hate you

 “Lila turned everyone there against me. They hate me now.” She says it like it’s just as obvious as the last one.

“Not ‘everyone’. You crossed that out.”

“Well, except for you.”

“Okay, but not even most people there like Lila. It’s only Bustier’s class. The rest of the school is completely indifferent to her. Even most of the class doesn’t hate you.”

“Alya hates me. So does Lila.”

“So that’s, what? Two out of 15?”

“14.”

“15. Markov counts. As for the rest of the school, most people like you! I’ve heard several people still talking about you, they miss you. Everyone thinks my class is completely insane.”

She smiles a little at that, moving to the next one.

 You don’t know how to do friendship properly. 

 “I messed up the only close friendship I had. In a single day.”

“It wasn’t in a single day. It was months of Lila weaseling her way in between you and Alya so that your friendship was weak. She knew she had to separate you two so that she could get to you more easily. If you need more proof that you are capable of being a good friend, I can always text the group chat. Claude would probably find a way to teleport here.”

She smiles, “They probably would. Allegra would start a mob.”

 People want to believe you’re a bad person

 “Lila said she only tells people what they want to hear, and when she told them I bullied her, they believed it.” “That’s how she starts. Frog-in-a-pot style. She says little things that’ll get her attention and sympathy. Once she’s in people’s good graces, she begins dropping small things that are harder to believe. By that point she’s trusted, and she starts small enough that she can build up to bigger things. She had months, Marinette. Months to do all that.”

 You’re a terrible hero, and Paris deserves better.

 “I messed up a bunch. I’ve gotten hit by a bunch of akumas, and I fell off the Eiffel Tower. I keep attracting akumas - that’s the opposite of what I’m supposed to do.”

“I’ve gotten hit even more than you. Does that make me a bad hero?”

“No! Never!” She sounds both horrified and furious, but he continues.

“Exactly. As for the akumas, you’ve fought off every single one. That’s heroic, and as sad as I am that you had to do those things, I’m so proud and impressed. I knew you were amazing.”

She blushes, moving hurriedly to the next one.

 You’re an obsessive stalker-ish creep.

 “I had gifts for you for years. Like, for years into the future. I had your schedule memorized and on a chart, and I had all those pictures…”

“Marinette. You made gifts, and I’m certain they were based around things I liked, not what you wanted me to like. You got rid of them though, so it doesn’t matter right now. You had my schedule memorized, I don’t even have it memorized. You weren’t using it to stalk me, to my knowledge-”

“No! I only used it to figure out when we could hang out! All of us! Since you were always so busy! I only used it to steal your phone once-”

“You what?”

“Moving on-” “That was you?!”

“Moving on!”

 No one actually likes you.

 “People wouldn’t actually want to hang out with-” She cuts herself off.

“What?”

“I think that one is phrased wrong?”

“I think that one is wrong. I told you, people at school miss you. You made an impact - a positive one. Claude, Allegra, Allan, and Felix love you. I love you! All of Paris loves you!”

She blushes.

 You shouldn’t be trusted with responsibility

 “I’m a bad hero, and I was a bad class president.”

“We’ve already been over the fact that you’re a fantastic hero, and you were a great class president. You listened to what people wanted and tried to fulfill requests. You planned events well.” She nods. Then nods again, slower. He takes in the way she’s slumping slightly, and smiles at her, “Do you want to leave your bed? You can be closer to the heaters if you’re on the floor.

They climb down, and lean against her chaise lounge, he grabs a blanket and their phones, settling it over them. Tikki and Plagg stay on the bed, catching up.

Once he sits again, Marinette leans into him, cuddling as close as she can to his warmth and holding the blanket tightly.

He could look at his phone, but for now, he just wants to sit with her and appreciate the fact that he finally knows who she is.

He loves her so much.

The snow is really coming down now, fully blizzarding. Marinette’s breathing has evened out and her grip on the blanket has loosened.

Their phones ding.

Checking his, he sees an ongoing conversation in the group chat.

 The Mom Friend: is evryone safe inside? theres gunna be a blizzard

The Mom Friend: how r u holding up mari

 Kid Mime: i’m at home!!! im watching a bunch of disney and i have hot chocolate and popcorn!!!!

Kid Mime: ariel could have tried miming

Kid Mime: it realy could hav helpd her

 Melodie: I’m home. Just made hot chocolate for my brothers. I’ve got some too.

 Felix: I am also at home.

 The Mom Friend: same here

The Mom Friend: mari? u sleeping?

The Mom Friend: adrien u still at her place?

 A is for Awesome: Yep!

A is for Awesome: She fell asleep on me while we were doing homework.

 The Mom Friend: ok im glad shes not outside

 Melodie: How long did she last once the snow started?

 A is for Awesome: She fell asleep immediately, then she woke up and we talked for a while, and she fell asleep again.

 Kid Mime: when she wakes up tell her i said hi

Kid Mime: and i love her

Kid Mime: and that shes gud desiner

 A is for Awesome: I will!

 The Mom Friend: remind her 2 eat

The Mom Friend: an everythin claude said

 A is for Awesome: So, um. It may or may not be the case that neither of us have eaten at all today? We may or may not have both completely forgotten.

 The Mom Friend: …

The Mom Friend: wat wud u guys do without me?

 Felix: Die. You and I are the only reasonable ones in this group, but while you intervene, I am content to simply watch them make poor choices.

 Melodie: HEY! I’m reasonable!

 The Mom Friend: u 2 need to eat. same goes to any1 else in this chat that need a reminder

 Kid Mime: wat about /u/ allan????

Kid Mime: have /u/ eatn recntly?????

 The Mom Friend: i am eating a sandwich rite now

 A is for Awesome: I’ll have Mari and I eat something.

 Before he does so, there’s something else he has to do. He separates himself from Marinette carefully. It’s difficult because being a superhero has made her strong and she doesn't want to give up her heat source, but he manages to escape.

She lies on the floor, frowning. He’ll make this quick. He climbs up to her bed, grabbing the notebook, and rips out the pages she’s written on. He carefully writes his own version of the things she’s put in, before putting it back where it belongs.

“Plagg, I’m gonna’ transform quick.” He warns the Kwami, who nods in understanding.

“Claws out!” Chat Noir grips the torn pages and moves to the balcony. The air whips around him violently, his black suit a stark contrast to the white flakes all around him. The city is coated in snow, and he can see his breath when he exhales heavily.

He looks at the revolting papers in his ringed hand. 

“Cataclysm.”

He watches the dust blow away with the wind, then turns back to the trapdoor, letting himself inside.

He releases the transformation before his ring even beeps, and hands Plagg some cheese as he returns to his Lady. She’s still on the floor, laying on her side, seemingly working on waking up, but only squinting and frowning at the ground.

He lays down on his stomach, looking at her.

“Hi Princess.”

She looks up to see he’s returned and her face lights up, though the exhaustion is still clear, “Kitty!”

“Are you hungry? Neither of us have eaten.”

“Don’ need t’ eat.” Maybe the blizzard has gotten to her. She’s on the edge of her ladybug-mindset, thinking she doesn’t need to eat if she’s in hibernation.

“I doubt that. Would you like to get something to eat with me?”

She shakes her head, “‘ugs?” She reaches one hand toward him weakly.

He holds her offered hand in his own, “What if I give you a hug, and then you eat. You can sit next to me.”

She finds this to be an acceptable compromise and nods.

He scoops her up and carries her down the stairs. On the way he comments, “Claude wanted me to say hi to you for him, and that he loves you, and that you’re a good designer Allan agreed, though he also wanted me to remind you to eat.”

“‘re nice.”

He sets her down gently at the table extracting himself from her arms. He sets water in front of her while he makes a sandwich for himself. There’s a variety of fruit in the fridge.

Ha! Winter brings out the ladybug in Marinette, and now that he knows she’s a ladybug, he can play into that. The superhero duo know each other’s tendencies well, and he spent a lot of last year bringing fruit to patrol in case she’d forgotten to eat. It was one of the few foods that the ladybug in her would accept without much fuss.

He gets a small bowl and mixes a variety of fruit together for her, being sure to give her lots of grapes. He gives her the bowl and grabs his sandwich and water to sit next to her.

She’s resting her head against the table, already asleep again. The kitchen isn’t as warm as her room.

“Hey, it’s time to eat.” He nudges her carefully, and she glances over to him drowsily. He points out the bowl to her and when she registers its contents she flashes him a stunning smile, eating slowly.

He eats too, finishing well before her. She’s eaten maybe a quarter of the small bowl before she slows more, tipping towards the table. He moves the dishes out of the way to avoid her face-planting onto them.

He grabs her hand, leading her up to her room again so that the heat can wake her up. For now, he settles for wrapping her up in the blanket again. The Marinette-burrito flops onto his lap.

 A is for Awesome: We ate.

 The Mom Friend: good

 He finishes the rest of his math homework. That’s all he’s got. It’s winter break now (thank goodness, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to keep from doing something to Alya) so he’s free. At least for the next few hours that is, then he’s back to his jam-packed schedule. He should give himself another assignment…

Adrien thinks for a moment, trying to think of something for him to do while he’s stuck at Marinette’s.

He thinks back to her laughter following his reveal. That’ll be his goal.

Maybe he can record her this time. He loves her laugh.

She’s laughed at puns before, it just takes a lot. He’ll start there.

Poking her a few times until she blinks up at him, he says, “Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is? In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”

“...okay.”

She’s too serious for this. She missed his pun!

“Mariiiiii!”

She blinks more, “...hi?”

“Here. Sit up.” He gets her to lean against his shoulder. Close enough.

“Why?” She sounds confused, probably because he just woke her up. She’d have woken up soon anyways. Otherwise it wouldn’t have been so easy to get her to look at and talk to him.

“You’ve been sleeping for a while. I want to talk to you.” She moves to sit across from him, squinting at him suspiciously.

“You were bored, weren’t you?”

“Purr-haps.”

She groans, “You woke me up for puns.”

“Actually, I wanted to tell you that I just got over my addiction to marshmallows, chocolate, and peanuts. I’m not gonna lie, it was a rocky road.” She looks out at the blizzard desperately, “Winter take me.”

“I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.

“I asked my friend if she likes to play video games. She said, ‘Wii.’”

“Oh dear Kwami.”

“The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation. It doesn’t make any cents!”

She shakes her head, but she’s too tired to keep the facade up for long. He knows she likes his puns. 

He leans forward, grinning, “I’m only friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.”

“Neither do I. Why are you like this?”

She’d added on, he’s certain he’ll catch her soon. He readies his phone out of sight.

“Why can’t you run through a campground?”

She only raises an eyebrow.

“You can only ran, because it’s past tents!” He beams at her innocently, “A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.”

“Poor guy.” She’s looking away, focusing elsewhere.

“So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.”

She can’t hold out forever.

“How about bird puns, they’re very egg-citing.”

He’s got plenty of material.

“You don’t seem very emused.”

“Trying to annoy me with bird puns? Well, toucan play at that game!” She retorts.

He gasps delightedly, “You punned at me!”

As expected, the dam soon breaks and she starts snickering, covering her mouth. It evolves further until she’s fully laughing again. He’s been recording her, and encouraging her with dumb faces and jokes too quiet for the camera.

He wants to tell her to stop covering her face, but pointing out the habit will only embarrass her, and then she’d stop laughing. She drops it as the laughs die down, smiling at him.

Noticing his smug face, she shakes her head,“Was that your goal? Really?”

He holds up his phone, “I wanted to be able to hear your laugh whenever. It’s been saved.”

“Oh you did not.”

“I did. And now… it’s been sent to the group chat!”

“We will get no peace.” 

As soon as she says it, their phones go off. Checking it, they see Claude has been the first to view the video.

 Kid Mime: MARINETTE U SOUND ADORABLE Kid Mime: DID ADRIEN ALREADY TELL U THAT I LOVE U Kid Mime: I LOVE UR LAUGH Kid Mime: ADRIEN TEACH ME UR WAYS

 A is for Awesome: Puns.

 Kid Mime: IM ALREADY ON GOOGLE Kid Mime: I NEED EVERY PUN

Kid Mime: E V E R Y P U N

 Melodie: We’ll never get a break now.

Melodie: It’s nice to see you laugh, Marinette.

 Patisserie Princess: im never leaving the house

Patisserie Princess: i laughed at a pun

Patisserie Princess: i /made/ a pun

 Felix: Understandable. I will try to visit often.

Felix: I suspect you have been spending too much time with Claude and Adrien.

 The Mom Friend: aw mari

The Mom Friend: u gotta leave the house eventually

 Patisserie Princess: do I?

 Kid Mime: I WILL COME TO U Kid Mime: ADRIEN HOW MANY PUNS DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE HER LAUGH

 A is for Awesome: Depends on how tired she is.

A is for Awesome: Just don’t stop. Don’t give her a chance to recover.

 Kid Mime: ALRIGHT I WILL KEEP THAT IN MIND

 Melodie: The floodgates have been opened.

 Felix: Indeed.

 Kid Mime: IM GONNA RESEARCH PUNS Kid Mime: BYE

Kid Mime: LUV U GUYS

 The Mom Friend: bye

 Melodie: Bye.

 Patisserie Princess: bye!

Felix: Goodbye.

 A is for Awesome: Bye!

---

Author’s Note: These babies are cute. I love them so much.

The next chapter will be Wednesday, for Christmas. Just fluff, the purpose of the chapter is really just for the sake of all of them interacting in an angst-free way. So you get a bonus chapter. That's not all though! I really want to write a interlude of Tikki and Plagg's conversation in this chapter. It wouldn't really fit in here, and adding it as a chapter feels weird seeing as it would be sort of out-of-order. I'll post it as a separate one-shot, and leave a link here when it's up.

Hey! You all remember Honey Bee? Well a lovely little angel drew her! She looks so great, and I love it so much, link is here!

I haven't been writing much this month (apologies to those wanting chapter 2 of A Shy 'Sparrow'), this week in particular has been stressful. With my being on break now, I think I'll be able to write more. I had a few things that really struck me and I wanted to write them so we'll see how things go!

I feel like I'm forgetting something. If I remember it I'll edit this note.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave any thoughts, theories, constructive criticism, or anything really in my ask box, in replies or through reblogs. I love seeing what you think!

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#miraculous ladybug #transfer #with time #fanfic #chameleon salt #miraculous tendencies #miraculous side effects #winter #reveal #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #chat noir #plagg #quantic kids #ml Felix #text interactions #low self esteem

[mmguitarbar]

A bad guitar, 1961

In a recent interview with Reverb.com, Fender CEO Andy Mooney laid bare his true feelings about the Jazzmaster and Jaguar, and let me tell you, they were anything but glowing. In the exchange, he brands Leo Fender’s original designs as “not very good guitars” at the time of release, declaring the mistakes of the past fixed in Fender’s latest entries into the offset line. 

Mooney takes a hard stance here, but to be honest his perspective here is nothing new. These critiques have been around for years, and even with the informed views of dedicated users of the Offset Guitar forum, the main axe associations with high profile players like Chris Stapleton and Nels Cline, and my own work over the last decade advocating for the guitars in print and performance –– pardon the horn tooting –– opinions on these fascinating guitars among the general populace are still very much divided.  

I don’t blame folks for holding these opinions because even I, Dear Reader, once believed the very same things. Back in high school I had an Olympic white Japanese Jaguar, a parental purchase spurred on by my love of the band Bush. The kindest way I could describe the guitar is problematic; the strings skipped off of their saddles, the bridge shimmied down, and it would not stay in tune no matter what I did. 

Eventually I traded it in on something more reliable, unwilling to wrestle with the instrument. When I finally came back to the offset guitar 14 years later, I realized that insatiable tinkerer Leo Fender wouldn’t have released a guitar he didn’t think was ready, and so I pushed through my preconceived notions of its flaws to gain a better understanding of the thing. I came out on the other side with a deeper appreciation for the man’s work. 

It seems to me that when a player has a bad experience with these guitars, it’s often because they’ve been poorly maintained. In cases such as these, I view it as an opportunity to educate and reevaluate. After a conversation or a quick adjustment, the player might still decide the models aren’t for them, but more often than not they seem to “get it.” And that’s enough for me.

So here I am, returning from an extended hibernation like a grumpy, shaggy bear; like the aging ensemble cast of a ‘90s sitcom, lured into a reunion for the cameras by the dangling carrot of a handsome payday, each secretly knowing that the end product would not be nearly as good as the show’s initial run; like a cherished childhood movie that, upon re-viewing for the first time in 30 years, has way more adult themes than your young mind could then comprehend, causing feelings of retroactive discomfort because you watched it with your parents in the SAME ROOM???

Prodigal namesake that I am, I have returned with my proverbial pen pressed to the also proverbial page of the Guitar Bar website to feverishly scrawl this open[ish] response in an attempt to give some context and gentle rebuttal to his comments. 

“They were not particularly good guitars when they were first introduced.”

When the Jazzmaster and Jaguar were first released in 1958 and 1962 respectively, they were not only top of the line models, but top sellers as well. While neither model was exactly embraced by the Jazz community, they nonetheless found favor with a varied group of players and all but defined the sound of Surf music while still in its infancy. For a time, they seemed to be everywhere. Admittedly, perceived popularity does not a good guitar make, so let’s look at a handful of early adopters.

At first, session players and country pickers liked the models well enough to use them on stage and in the studio, including Wayne Moss, Hank Garland, Willie Nelson, and Luther Perkins, who has an engraving of the model on his tombstone. If more proof is needed, here are three separate performances of Roy Clark absolutely shredding “12th Street Rag” on a bone stock Jazzmaster and Jaguar. These videos remain favorites of mine because they show someone really digging in and playing fast melodic runs on guitars that people seem to think can’t handle that kind of vigorous right hand technique. 

But if they were so good to begin with, why did sales eventually taper off?

A refinished ’65 from a couple of years back. I actually put the stock bridge back on this one instead of the sloppily installed TOM. It was awesome.

Previously, I’ve explained that the most common complaints with the model aren’t the fault of the design, but rather, trying to make that design do things it was never intended to do: wearing a set of light gauge strings. In the Jazzmaster, Leo Fender’s intention was to appeal to Jazz guitarists by creating a solid body guitar with the string geometry of an archtop: a pitched-back neck, a floating bridge, and a tailpiece, and most importantly, all specifically designed to work with heavy gauge flat wound strings. We’re talking 12s, 13s, and 14s. 

Once lighter gauges (9s and 10s) became the norm in the early to mid 1960s, inadequate string tension reduced the downward force on the bridge, resulting in tuning problems and string skipping. It’s like going off-roading with bald tires: you can certainly do it, but expect to slide around a bit.

At this point in my career I’ve set up well over a thousand of these guitars over the course of my career, and in the overwhelming majority of cases, once you throw on a set of 11 gauge rounds and shim the neck as Leo intended, they just work. They were good guitars then, and they’re still good guitars today.

For more information on setting up these guitars, have a look at our Demystifying series and my May 2017 cover story for Premier Guitar. 

“We’ve made them functionally better”

It’s true that Fender has devoted a significant amount of time and resources into solving the perceived problems with these guitars, including modified vibrato positioning, redesigned bridges, strategically placed nylon bushings, and even neck pockets angled at the factory to eliminate the need for shims. These are all good ideas, a few even great; as is often the case when chasing mass appeal, some have not been as successful as Fender might have hoped.

Take the Classic Player, which features an angled neck pocket and an Adjust-O-Matic bridge yet can still fall prey to the same string path issues of more vintage-correct models. The AOM style bridge was not designed with a vibrato in mind, with sharp, shallow saddle slots that can cause tuning problems of their own. And that’s to say nothing of the mismatched 12” radius bridge on a 9.5” neck, which causes the E strings to be higher off of the fretboard than the D and G in the middle and makes for an inconsistent feel across the neck. 

My friend Brian’s wonderful later model MarrGuar. An amazing guitar that set up beautifully.

Mooney specifically mentions the Johnny Marr model –– indeed a killer guitar ––  yet it’s worth noting that many of the earliest of the bunch left the factory with 56mm bridge string spacing, which turned out to be only a hair slimmer than the width of the neck. Many players reported problems keeping the outer strings on the fretboard, which eventually led to Fender adopting slimmer 52mm spacing in later production runs (linked in case you need one). Here’s a shot of a lovely black one with the worst example of this I have yet to see. 

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Scroll to see the neck and bridge string spacing problems.

A too-wide bridge…

…causing the E strings to fall off the neck when fretted

Strangely, the earliest American Professionals which came a few years later had the same problems, sometimes necessitating the need for aftermarket parts and prompting another mid-run update. 

As for the new American Ultra guitars, they may not be for me but I can understand why many of the features might appeal to other players looking for a more modern take on the Jazzmaster. With an additional lead circuit control knob, a re-purposed rhythm circuit layout for out of phase operation, rollers for individual pickup volumes, and an S-1 switch for series options, it could be argued that functionally they’re more complex than ever. 

However, once agin Fender curiously employs a mismatched bridge radius, this time a 9.5” bridge mated to a compound 10-14” radius neck, which puts the D and G strings higher off of the fretboard than the Es. Generally, compound necks work best when the string path is treated as a cone, flattening as it expands. In this case, a 16” bridge radius would set up far better than that of the stock part. I suspect we’ll start seeing even these guitars sporting alternative bridges before too long. 

So yes, while it’s good that we’re seeing R&D dedicated to making adjustments, some of those adjustments haven’t actually solved the problems, but rather, changed the nature of them instead.

“Now you can actually play them.”

I’ve made this point abundantly not only in this piece but in nearly everything else I’ve done over the years, but the fact is that Jazzmasters and Jaguars were always playable –– stock bridge included. Take it from an ardent Mastery user: the original bridge is as viable as any other, and once it’s adjusted correctly it’s as fun as it is functional.

Not only is there a wealth of great music made with them over the years as proof, you can refer to articles on this blog, numerous posts on both my personal Instagram as well as Mike & Mike’s showing that the stock bridge is dependable and musical. Hell, every offset guitar the shop sells goes through the same setup process to show off what incredible instruments they can truly be with just a little extra effort.

Closing Arguments

Would you play this stripped ’61, original bridge and all? It was a total beast of a guitar.

Real talk: I get that Mooney’s comments may be a marketing tactic to steer customers toward the current lineup in the Fender catalog, and just in time for the holidays at that. You know the old song and dance: newer is better! Fender does make a great guitar and innovation can be a good thing, so to this I say, fair play. 

Still, I have to believe there’s a better way to say so without throwing heritage –– and our beloved vintage instruments –– under the bus. 

You see, over the last five or so years, it seems to have become fashionable in Fender’s corporate culture to downplay or outright disparage the legacy of Leo Fender, with reps at NAMM overheard saying things like “Leo didn’t get everything right” and “we fixed his mistakes,” phrases repeated at the onset of the latest feature set or spec tweak. 

At best, comments like those in the previous sentence (as well as those which are the basis of this response) make Fender seem out of touch, and at worst, could erode the trust of a very loyal legion of customers.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll be saying it for as long as it needs saying: the Jazzmaster and Jaguar are Leo Fender’s most brilliant and misunderstood designs. It may have taken us 50 years to catch up, but now a growing and dedicated group of fans have found a unique sound here unlike anything you can get from other more traditional guitars. 

Speaking personally, no matter what other instruments are available to me, I reach for an offset first. I have found my musical voice in the Jazzmaster and Jaguar, and I’m never more comfortable or more adventurous than when I have one in my hands.

One last quote: 

“I have Jazzmasters and Jaguars… I have four in a line on my wall from 1966.” 

Andy, if you’ve read this and have found any of it compelling, I’d love the chance to show you just how good those guitars on your wall can be. All I’ll need is a few sets of 11s or 12s, a screwdriver or two, and maybe a couple Cold Ones to share between us. Burritos are good, too.

Oh, and parking validation –– it’s a bit of a drive up from Long Beach and the last thing I want to deal with is finding a spot on those notoriously crowded Hollywood streets.

A bad guitar. A very bad guitar

  An Open[ish] Response to Fender CEO Andy Mooney’s Thoughts on Offset Guitars In a recent interview with Reverb.com, Fender CEO Andy Mooney laid bare his true feelings about the Jazzmaster and Jaguar, and let me tell you, they were anything but glowing.

#Andy Mooney #CEO #fender #Fender CEO #Guitar #guitar tech #interview #jaguar #jazzmaster #Mastery Bridge #Michael James Adams #mike adams #mike and mike&039;s guitar bar #offset guitars #open letter #puisheen #radius #response #reverb #Seattle #set up #vibrato

[jinniesxlamp]

Goodbye, Hello - Chapter 7

LIST OF CHAPTERS –> Masterlist

The week went by agonizingly fast, although it were better days than what you have been dealing with lately. Visiting Myunghwa helped a lot with resolving unecessary thoughts and feelings you had against yourself, remembering what she had taught you to master best—tranquility, almost losing your very own touch of it.

Ever since Myunghwa passed away, the stillness you had within started to slip from your fingers, without notice; your arrogance was starting to surface, impatience, sarcasm and insensitivity towards the people around you. You took the chance to meditate with your remaining days in Jeju, taking the advice from Chairman Byeon, preparing yourself to return as a better person, a better boss and not a dismantled one.

Today was going to be different, you thought to yourself. Your heart raced from the nervousness you felt, anticipating what you had to face since the huge scandal you had caused days prior. All those people you hurt and shamed, not to mention the poor boy you must have traumatized. Not only that....Lee Jooheon, the memory was vague during that drunked night, but you remembered the significant parts of it. Just as you were ready to face the day with a new perspective, a little bit of bad luck always had to squeeze itself in.

A heavy sigh escaped your lips, dreading to deal with this early morning misfortune causing a growing traffic jam in the middle of Gangnam. Moving your flat-tired car to the curb made you quadruple think, afraid it might cause another problem, but you delivered anyway. Immediately reaching for your phone, you called for a towing service which arrived sooner than you thought.

It was grueling seeing your watch tick almost five times faster than normal, knowing you had called for a compulsory 9:30 am meeting with the entire production team of Champion Trainee. What felt like three minutes was actually already thirty as the time yielded 9:15 am. Your car was already queued to be fixed, but you still had to wait.

9:15 turned to 9:30, then 10:27, 11:49 then 01:51.

Soojin had called several times for an update, apologizing and explaining to the crew and staff on your behalf regarding the four and a half hour wait. Luckily it was a Saturday, most of the people had no other schedules planned and continued to wait.

Yoongi’s POV

Secretary Soojin with the help of Daehan, one of the producers came in to the meeting room from time to time, apologizing and explaining the situation to everyone regarding the delay. Y/N had something important to attend to, as they were saying. Most people didn’t mind, but I did. I had another schedule at 2:30 for a commercial shoot with the rest of my members in one of the studios upstairs. Manager Hobeom had already called multiple times, asking for updates, wanting to know if I will be able to make it on time which I already knew I wasn’t.

“Mianhae, hyung. We’re still waiting. I don’t think I’ll be done on time.” I took a deep breath, eyeing my watch.

“Kwenchana, we already talked to the director. You need to attend to that meeting. We’ll take care of the situation here. You might have to stay a little bit later though, for the shoot I mean.”

“Kwenchana. Are the members okay? I can probably leave for awhile and come back down here later so we can do the group shoots, in that way they don’t have to stay late with me.”

“We thought about that earlier, but then again it’s too time constricting and a hassle. The whole production crew and your members already said they would wait. Just finish your meeting.”

“Oh. Arasseo” again, I sighed, starting to recognize the displeasure I was beginning to feel regarding all this.

If she had something else she needed to do prior, why schedule the meeting at that time only to delay it for four hours?

Finally she had arrived, again, apologizing for the (unreasonable) delay and started her part of the meeting right away, stealing another two hours of my time. When it had ended, goodbyes and thank yous were said. I saw her call the boy she had tormented last week into a room for a reason I did not have time to waste on.

I hurried upstairs to the commercial shoot, apologizing to the staff, crew and my members for the two hour delay which they shrugged off easy. The shoot began right away, along with my throbbing headache.

Y/N’s POV

At the end of the meeting, I decided to make the first approach in correcting the grave mistakes I have made last week. The boy whom I shamed in front of everyone came to me shaking next to Soojin.

“I’m sorry for how I acted last week. I have no excuse to validate my unprofessional and not to mention unreasonable actions. Joesonghabnida, I hope it’s not too late for your forgiveness.” I bowed, disregarding pride and prejudice as I delivered my apology gently and not passively.

I could sense the look of surprise on the poor boy’s face, unable to compose a reaction right away. But eventually he smiled kindly, relieving the heaviness in my heart.

“Kwenchana, gwangjangnim. Thank you for considering me worthy of your apology. I admire your humility. Thank you”

I am astounded with the weight that encounter took off of me seeing how that young boy walked out of the office in a much more dignified manner. A consoling smile crept across my semi-weary face. 

“Geureom, shall we call it a day?” I turned to Soojin whose eyes blinked in heavy confusion.

“Ne?” 

Clearing my throat, I gave her an amused smile as I repeated myself.

“I said, let’s go home. It’s the weekend after all. You should be spending time with your husband.”

“A-ah....dae!” 

I studied her figure as she bowed to me politely, gently grabbing her hands and held it with mine, rubbing her knuckles with my thumb.

“Jal ji naesseo?” Her eyes softened, disregarding the formality between the both of us.

“Jinjja...Eonnie, I should be the one asking you that. Aigoo” 

“Mianhae, Soojinah. Eonnie hasn’t checked on you for awhile”

“Eonnie, I’m doing well. Actually... I think I might even be pregnant” my eyes widened as I pulled back, just enough to see her entirely, biting her lip in excitement

“J-jinjja?!? Omo!!! Ottoke” I panicked, covering my mouth, not wanting to be loud.

“Ya, you need to go home! Get some rest and eat more, aigoo, your shirt is too loose--ottoke--I should buy you vitamins--have you gone to your doctor--is Youngjae taking care of you???”

It was never ending; the storm of emotions, pleasant ones at least, were hard to conceal.

“Dae, dae. Everything is in order and yes, Youngjae has been pampering me more than ever since I told him.”

“Geureom, now it’s time for you to go home. I’ll have the company driver drop you off, no ifs, no buts!”

“Ahhh jamkkanman! Let me just take this upstairs to Director Kang, he needs this by today.”

“What is it?” Reaching out my hand towards her, I asked for the folder she almost didn’t want to give. 

“It’s the script you approved for the Innis Free commercial they’re shooting on Monday with Song Hye Kyo.” She continued, allowing me to check the contents of the envelope.

“Arasseo, I’ll take care of it”

“Ani, it’s okay. It’ll only take ten minutes to drop it off.”

“Ani, kwenchana, I haven’t seen Director Kang in awhile. I’d like to say hi, we are good friends after all”

Finally, she gave in, letting go of the duty, permitting me to deliver it to Director Kang personally. 

--

Your two-floor walk wasn’t too bad considering you took the stairs, adding an extra cardio exercise to your day. Plus, your phone ringing three times before you stepped inside the studio room where Director Kang was working. The last phone call ended just in time for you to spot him standing on one corner, his back faced against you. The excitement you felt was indescribable, waiting to see a good friend of yours after almost a year. You could hear his soothing, yet very manly voice as you drew closer. Apparently, he was having a casual conversation with several bodies who were seated in front of him, covered by the equipment.

“Ehem. Annyeonghaseyo, PDnim”

You sounded, folding your lips, waiting for Director Kang to turn. 

However, the knot of excitement brewing in your stomach wasn’t meant for him—his body shift revealed the perfect view of three handsome faces, ones which were covered by the speakers and cameras earlier. Their eyes, same as yours, were startled, poignant and unsure. 

“Ya!!! Jeongmal, wah. Is this really you, Y/N?”

“A-ah d-dae” you giggled nervously, ungluing your eyes from the sight that had greeted you with memories of the past. 

“Wah, jinjja, how long has it been? You’re one of the big fishes now. It’s almost impossible to meet you personally in and outside work”

“You’re overly exaggerating, I came to see you didn’t I? I even brought your script for you” you responded casually, handing him the folder which he took a peek at.

“Did it pass your standards, gwanjangnim?” Director Kang asked teasingly.

“Geureomyo~ you’re a hard one to say no to” you said friskily.

“Ah, before you leave, let me introduce you to a few people. I’m sure you’ll bump heads in this industry soon.”

Again, the attention that was spared for earlier had been redirected, although this time, the air had gotten more natural than dense. 

“Yeoreobun, I’d like to introduce you to a good friend of mine, we interned together back in the days, this is Y/N. 

—Y/N, I’m almost sure you know who they are but I’d personally like to introduce them to you. 방탄소년단 members, Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin and Jung Hoseok”

Namjoon’s POV

We sat quietly, listening to the exchange of words between Director Kang and Y/N. The Y/N who we haven’t heard from or seen in a long time. Hoseok and Jin-hyung kept still, though I could sense the tinge of awkwardness from them. Who is there to blame? This was too much of an unexpected encounter, none of us saw it coming. Minutes later the stilted aura began to subside, right before Director Kang introduced us to each other. The three of us looked at her warmly, like a silent “have you been well” from our end, she did the same. Before we even had the chance to exchange greetings, Director Kang excused himself, attending to one of the staff who needed clarification at the other end of the room.

“Have you been well?” She asked.

“Oh” Hoseok answered, nodding his head as he smiled subtly.

“How long has it been? Three? Four?” Jin-hyung, now making an effort to keep the conversation going approached rather gently, unlike his usual loud greeting. It was a happy one though.

“Five, actually” a weak but tender smile slipped from her lips.

I kept a steady eye on her, her tiny face and flowy dress, the firmness in her tone when she spoke, the way she carried herself. She looked different, but she felt the same. The same Y/N we loved and cared for in the past.

“It’s nice seeing you, Namjoonssi” startled, I shook my head, eyes blinking nervously which I managed to control right away.

“Likewise, Y/N” I muttered back, bowing my head slightly for formality, though unecessary.

“Where have you been all these years?” Hobi asked.

“Just here really. I went back to school since the um— since the incident”

“Ah. I see, I see” Hobi, again, replied while Jin-hyung and myself continued to nod our heads.

Jin-hyung attempted to ask another question which was interrupted out of the blue by a groaning, irritated voice.

“Jin-hyung, did you bring your headache pill?” A moaning Yoongi entered from the corner, rubbing his forehead roughly with his right hand. He didn’t notice Y/N’s presence until he turned his back on us, facing towards her. His face sourer at the sight. No greetings were heard from the both of them. Y/N stood awkwardly, almost looking like she wanted to initiate a wholesome conversation, however Yoongi was the complete opposite—purposely refusing to spare her a glance, looking in all other directions but hers. We waited gruesomely for Jin-hyung to come back with the pill.

“Yeogi” Jin-hyung handed him two pills, passing him a bottle of water with it.

“Kwenchana? How many more do you have to do?” Asked Jin-hyung.

“Seven more.” Yoongi answered dully.

“Seven?! Ya, you don’t look so good. Sit down for awhile”

They were referring to the number of scenes Yoongi still had to finish. A moment of silence occurred as we watched him gulp half a bottle of water, wiping the remnants off his lips.

“If I had started on time, I wouldn’t have to deal with all this.” He spat using his words, putting no effort in hiding his vexation.

“Ya, ya. Hajima, it’ll only worsen your headache.” Jin-hyung tried to ease him, before the situation escalated, attempting to massage Yoongi’s tensed shoulders. However, it didn’t stop him. Of course...when did anything ever when he was mad? A sardonic grunt he let out.

“Ani. I’m not going to have all these people wait for my personal reasons. Isn’t it a mockery for professionals to cause delays so they can attend to other affairs?” 

I noticed Y/N’s eyes drooping. It was obviously directed towards her, Yoongi made sure she knew that.

“I—” again, with a disgusting tone, indirectly addressing what he had to say

“—personally can’t stand people who waste my time. Especially when they didn’t deserve it in the first place.” With that said, he left.

It was hard not to catch the frustration drawn across Jin-hyung’s handsome face. Hoseok sighed, head turning left and right.

“Mian, Y/N. He hasn’t been sleeping well these past days” said Jin-hyung, shifting his attention to Y/N who was forcing a smile despite the awkwardness. She waited for Director Kang to return then left. 

Sometime after her departure, a well-built man in a black suit hurriedly ran towards where we were, hunched back as he struggled to catch his breath. Upon regaining composure, he introduced himself as Mr. Park Il Sung, head of the security department and right away explained the sudden situation.

“Joesonghabnida, I didn’t mean to startle you. We were told that gwangjangnim was last seen in this studio. Do you, by chance, know where she had gone?”

Director Kang looked at him with dewy-eyes before responding.

“Ah, Y/N? D-dae, she just left a little while ago” 

“What’s going on?” before the conversation resumed, Yoongi happened to arrive, perhaps to grab a bottle of water from the food station nearby. 

“Gabjagi...wae?” Inquired director Kang towards the security personnel.

“Her vehicle has been hit and run in the parking lot. We wanted to let her know ahead of time.”

Y/N’s POV

“Ani, kwenchana. I sent the company driver elsewhere. Please don’t worry about the matter. I’ll manage to get home safely. Kamsahambnida, Mr. Park” I sighed, trying to relax myself as I ended the three minute call. 

I had just been told that my vehicle, which was just returned from the shop after my morning incident, was hit and run at the parking lot. The security personnel had already arranged for it to be investigated and repaired, although they insisted I was brought home by the company driver who I sent to bring Soojin home. 

“Grae, this maybe an opportunity for me to experience an old life of mine” I whispered to myself, walking towards the bus stop which I had not been to in years. 

--

The dinner table was unusually quiet tonight with merely the sound of slurped soup and chopstick clanking heard instead of voices. Everyone was just...hungry after a restless day. They were all quick to tidy up. Maknaes were first to leave the kitchen of course, Jungkook and Taehyung going back to their game dens, Jimin watching a movie by the living room. Namjoon had not left the dinning room table, fiddling with his phone with a cup of hot tea sitting in front of him. Hoseok took a seat across him, easing his body from doing the dishes. And of course, Jin taking out an entire case of beer from the fridge. Hence, the drinking began.

“How’s your headache?” Asked Seokjin with a sour face, slumping his third can onto the marble. 

“Better that it was” responded Yoongi almost emotionless.

“Geundae..earlier” Hoseok, with his head tilted sideways, apparently had something he wanted to discuss but could not deliver through. But the silence eventually unfolded the topic. They all knew what he was pertaining to. 

Yoongi cleared his throat, drawing all eyes on him.

“What?” As always, dodging the subject with his indifference. 

“Ya! Hajima. Do you really think we’re that naive? Stop acting like you don’t know, we’ve lived together for years. We know just about every layer of skin you have” snarled the eldest, annoyed at the dumb-play of his dongsaeng. 

“Geurotchi! Aigo! How could you be so harsh to her?” Hoseok’s face drew all sorts of expressions all over it as he protested. Namjoon only watched.

Yoongi could neither disagree or agree to how they had reacted, remembering the inhumane things he had said to you earlier. Had he known that a flat tire was the cause of your delay, he would not have said the things he did. Also, overhearing Mr. Park’s conversation with you over the phone regarding your hit-and-ran vehicle did not aid his guilt. 

“I believe she deserves an apology, hyung” spoke Namjoon neutrally, remaining considerate to both parties.

At this point, they had already ganged up on him, rubbing his fault directly on his face. Barely giving him a chance to speak.

“Ara, ara—“ responded Min Yoongi in defeat. Clearing his throat, avoiding any eye contact.

“—I’ll apologize when I see her tomorrow” he said quietly.

All of a sudden, he felt three wide-eyed glares cornering him. This was just frustrating. 

“You do know you won’t be on the show for a week, right?” 

Yoongi eyed Namjoon dumbfounded. No response, whatsoever.

This gave him away. He forgot. 

“Tsk, jinjja—” huffed Jin sarcastically, not sure how to react to his oblivion. 

“—Ya, Min Yoongi....we’re scheduled for Japan next week”

#bts #bts fanfiction #min yoongi #bts yoongi #suga #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #monsta x jooheon #lee jooheon #monsta x fanfiction #min yoongi fanfiction #bts suga

[emma-nation]

Thinking Of You (Mona x MC Fanfiction) - Chapter 10

You said move on Where do I go? I guess second best Is all I will know

Summary: Years later, Allison has everything she wants, a brand-new internship as a doctor, a handsome boyfriend… but her first nightshift won’t go as expected…

Genre: Romance, Angst

Tag list:  @zoe6111, @simsvetements, @whoinvitedalx, @abunchofbadchoices, @kamilahmademedoit, @talkinlikeateen, @eagle-one-1, @andreear17, @monagf, @fal-carrington, @crazzyplays, @honorablebicycle, @teja-desai, @iam-the-fuckin-queen

Notes:

- English is not my first language, forgive me for any mistakes.

- My apologies for taking longer to update this week. As I mentioned previously, I had issues with my internet service. Also, I re-wrote this chapter as the original version had gone to angsty and dark. I hope you like what I did :)

- I’m having issues to tag people on my posts, please forgive me if it doesn’t show in your notifications. I re-typed the tag list and if your name has been removed is because Tumblr didn’t let me tag you.

“Dr. Carlson, Griffin,” Allison gulped. “What are you both doing here?”

She needed to act naturally. Two extremely dangerous criminals were standing in front of her and if they suspected she knew the truth, they’d be capable of anything.

“There she is!” Mr. Wheeler emerged from the kitchen, for her relief. “Allison, darling, where were you? Dr. Carlson and Griffin have been waiting for over an hour.”

“I’m sorry, dad. Mona and I… we spent the night with her mom.”

She discreetly gave him a signal, indicating what they had been up to.

“Oh, her mom. That’s true. Is she doing well?”

For her luck, he understood.

“Better than expected,” she proceeded with the lie. She looked at the Carlsons, with a fake smile on her face. “My friend’s mother is a little bit sick. I spent the night watching her.”

“Doesn’t she have a heart of gold?” Dr. Carlson grinned. “Just like my son, here. This is why Allison is more than welcome in our family.”

“She is, my girl is exactly like her mom,” Mr. Wheeler started serving breakfast. “Always helping everyone around her.”

The door clicked open. Allison’s heart leaped inside her chest. For a minute, her anxiety made her forget Mona was outside, only placing her car in the garage. If she didn’t play according to the plan, she could put them all in danger.

“Allison,” she entered with a scowl on her face, “is there anything wrong in there?”

“Mona,” Allison rushed to her side, “no… it’s only Dr. Carlson and Griffin, dropping by for a visit.”

“Wait,” Dr. Carlson observed her, “I think I know you.”

“I know you too, Doc.”

Mona crossed her arms, looking at him in a threatening manner.

“You do, Dr. Carlson,” Allison tried to fix the situation. “Mona was my first patient at the hospital and we kinda became friends. It was her mom I was checking.”

“The criminal, dad,” Griffin added. “She served a lot of time in prison.”

Mona let out a sarcastic laugh.

Allison discreetly elbowed her.

“Right that’s me,“ she stopped. “The most dangerous criminal in LA.”

An uncomfortable silence settled all over the living room until Mr. Wheeler invited them all to sit. Allison called Mona to the corner of the living room.

"Go to my bedroom,” she whispered. “Don’t say anything. I’ll meet you in a few minutes.”

“No way I’m leaving you alone with these two…”

“Mona! We need to act carefully. Go.”

After Mona agreed to obey, Allison joined the Carlsons at the table. She had breakfast completely quiet, only listening to Dr. Carlson to brag about his accomplishments to her dad. By her side, Griffin wouldn’t stop staring at her left hand, where her engagement ring was supposed to be. When she finished eating, she was finally ready to put an end in that situation.

“Griffin, I wanna talk to you. In private.”

“Sure, but…” it was the first time Allison noticed the coldness in his voice, “your bedroom is taken.”

“No problem,” she said. “We can talk outside.”

He followed her to the front door. Allison started feeling nervous, unsure of how he’d handle the end of their relationship.

“What’s going on, Allison? Where’s your engagement ring?”

“This is what I’ve been trying to tell you for weeks. I don’t wanna get married anymore.”

“This is okay,” Griffin calmly said, stroking her arm. “We can wait a little longer. We’re leaving to New Zealand in a couple of days and maybe, coming with us, you can change your mind.”

“I don’t think you’re understanding me,” Allison insisted.

“Of course. I should’ve known…” he shook his head in denial, smirking sarcastically. “It’s about that dirty little criminal, isn’t it? I saw it in your eyes as she walked in the house.”

“She has absolutely nothing to do with it! I’m breaking up with you because I no longer have feelings for you. Deal with that, Griffin. I’m not one of trophies to be collected.”

Allison finally could see all the malice and evilness behind her perfect boyfriend. The one she trusted for eight years. For a second, she felt Griffin wished to hurt her physically. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

“You have changed, Allison,” he recomposed himself and told. “Now it’s me who don’t want to marry you anymore.”

“Good,” she gave him a confident look, “I’m glad we’ve reached an agreement. Like the two grown up adults we are.”

He didn’t say anything else. He entered the house, calling his father to leave.

Allison let out a weary sigh. Half of her was relieved, but the other half worried that Griffin wouldn’t accept this loss so easily.

———-

Mona remained silent in Allison’s bedroom, listening carefully to any noises that could be coming from the kitchen or the living room. In one hand, she had her cell phone, ready to dial 911 in case the Carlsons decided to show their true colors. In the other hand, she had a pocket knife she bought at Gramercy Park for self-defense. She never knew if any old enemies from her past would come back for revenge. The only voices she could hear were the detective’s and Dr. Carlson’s. She couldn’t detect any signs of Griffin or Allison. Was she finally cutting the rope, or she would wait until he was locked in a cage? She grinned, hopeful. Minutes later, she heard the front door being opened and then closed. “Allison, what did you tell Griffin?” Mr. Wheeler asked. “The poor boy was so upset when they left.” “I broke up with him, dad,” Allison told, making Mona celebrate in silence. “Our engagement is over.” “What?! Why? What are those markings on your neck???” Mona muffled a laugh. “Sorry, pops. That’s my way of calling dibs.” “Were you really with Mona’s mother last night or this is what I’m thinking it is? Allison, how could you? D-Did you… with HER?!” “Dad! Can we talk about this later? I have important things to discuss with Mona.” “Leave the bedroom’s door open!” Mona started laughing again, but stopped as Allison entered. Her cheeks were shining pink in embarrassment. “Next time we see your mom, I’ll make sure to let her know too,” Allison playfully punched her shoulder. “You didn’t complain much last night.” “I had forgotten about my dad. I spent eight years living away from him, I got too comfortable.” “Speaking of…” Mona cleared her throat, making sure she didn’t say the wrong name on purpose, “Griffin. What was he doing here with his psycho dad?” Allison sat down at the bed, with a serious look on her face. She invited Mona to join. “He returned earlier from Africa. They’ll be leaving to New Zealand in only a couple of days.” “Escape route.” “Exactly,” Allison continued. “Griffin wanted me to go with him. He had everything set for our wedding.” “And?” Mona raised her eyebrows, expectantly. “I broke up with him, of course. I told him I no longer have feelings for him.” Mona grinned ear to ear. “Aaaaannnddd???” “And… we’ll talk about this later. There’s my dad and the investigation. Making sure they’re both arrested before they leave to New Zealand is our main priority right now.” “Okay,” Mona plugged the flash drive on Allison’s computer. “There we have it, footage of Krista leaving the basketball player’s room, the proof she’s related to Dr. Carlson…” “No,” Allison bit her lower lip. “We need more than that before telling my dad. He’ll never believe us without something more concrete.” While Allison was taking a shower, Mona did a research. She connected news from the past few years, of students who died under the same mysterious circumstances, with places Dr. Carlson worked. She called the East Coast police for confirmation. Indeed, they were starting to suspect him at the time he decided to move to California. “Is it enough to build a case against him yet?” Mona asked, after she finished reading. “I don’t know… I still feel we need more.” Mona sighed frustrated and while she was taking a shower herself, she had the most brilliant idea. When she returned to the bedroom, she announced: “We’re going to Krista’s meeting tonight.” ———- “She’s never accepting you in her studies,” was the first thing Allison said about Mona’s idea. But that was before she heard the rest of her plan. Neither of them would be attending the study, Brian was. Being a football player, he’d be easily accepted into her possible drug dealing party. With a hidden camera, he’d be capturing footage straight to Leon’s computer. Allison would provide them money for the camera and ear pieces for communication and Mona… her Halberdier would be easily recognized by Krista and her fancy neighborhood. They’d need a new car. “W-We aren’t going to…” “No, we’re doing worse.” Her father’s dealership was the last place in the planet Mona wanted to be, but there they were. David opened his usual false grin when he saw them. “W-What are you two doing here? I’ve already proved my innocence.” “No need to piss your pants, David,” Mona mocked him. “I need to rent a car, for a few hours.” For some reason, he looked pleased to help, showing them some of his models and talking about their features, giving Mona the pleasure of correcting him all the time. “Really? Don’t you have anything better?” “Mona, just pick one,” Allison rolled her eyes. “You’re not going to buy it. We’re only using it for tonight.”

“May I ask what will you be using the car to?” David asked, looking suspiciously to Mona. “Business,” she answered. “What kind of business?” “The dangerous kind, but no stealing involved.” After letting a small laugh, he told: “Then come with me.”

They walked to the back of his dealership, in a highly-secured warehouse where a few cars were hidden under dust covers. Mona wondered if they were obtained legally or if she had more in common with her father than she imagined. He lead them to the very end of the room, to the last car. “Whoa,” Allison exclaimed as David removed the dust cover. “Double whoa,” Mona traced with her fingers the glistening black painting of the Japanese vehicle. “Who’s that beauty?” “The new Santagata model,” David told. “They haven’t released for sale yet. They sent me one for a test drive, but I’ve been kinda busy. Would you like to take her for a ride?“ “Hell yeah!” Mona grabbed the keys he tossed her and entered the car. The panel had all the technology they needed. She’d be able to connect her cell phone and the hidden camera. While Brian secretly filmed the meeting, Leon would be capturing all the footage on his laptop. The best part, no one would be able to see them behind the tinted windows. “Take down that Carlson bastard,” her father told before she left. “I never liked that man.” “You can be sure I will.”

———-

The study was set to begin at 7pm. After getting all the equipment they needed and convincing Brian and Leon to join their plan, Mona drove the group to West Hollywood, where Krista’s family had a small mansion. "Remind me of why I’m doing this again?” Brian asked. “You owe us,” Allison answered. “We all know your little… secret, remember?” “I don’t,” Leon commented with an interested look. “What’s is Brian’s secret? If he’s gay, this car is the most comfortable place he could ever been.” “Leon, trust me,” Mona laughed, “you don’t want to find out.” “See? Now shut up, nerd,” Brian angered at Leon. “What did we talk about showing more respect?” Allison frowned at him. “That was right after talking…” she cleared her throat, “about malfunctioning things.” The football player scowled and stared at the window. Allison turned on the radio with a special playlist she made for the night. She and Leon started to sing along, while Mona drummed her fingers on the wheel following the rhythm. “You guys are fun to hang out with,” Leon told. “Are you sure you’re really cops?” “Me?! A cop?!” Mona shouted. “Babe, this neighborhood must have wanted posters with my face until this day.” “Because of wild parties you threw?” Brian looked at her intrigued. “No, because of the fancy cars I boosted. But yeah, sometimes we attended the parties to study the territory.” “So it’s really true, huh?” “Twice, actually. I’ve been in a jail twice.” “Wait, this car we’re riding…” “Relax, this is my dad’s. The only thing I’ve stolen recently was Griffin’s fiancée.” She glanced at Allison, who blushed a little. She had never seen Mona looking so happy and relaxed before. Allison couldn’t wait until all of that was over, so they could really enjoy their time together.  She didn’t know if she’d continue her career as a doctor, or if she’d try something different, all she knew is that she wanted Mona by her side. Whether was in LA or anywhere else in the country. Allison smiled and placed a hand on Mona’s knee. “What about you, Allison?” The boys wanted to know. “I’m the detective’s daughter. I was bored with my life, so I decided to join Mona in the investigation.” “The detective’s daughter falls in love with an ex-criminal. You two sound like a 90’s romantic comedy,” Leon said, making Mona roll her eyes.

“This is a compliment, I guess?” Allison laughed.

“The question is, darling. Will you get your happy ending this time or you’re going to break this Bad Girl’s heart again?”

Mona frowned at him, with her cheeks turning a little red.

“Leon,” Allison asked. “Approach,” she whispered the answer in his ear, without letting Mona know what it was.

“What did you answer?” She wanted to know.

“Keep watching to find out,” Leon winked at Allison and they high-fived.

“Morons,” Mona playfully rolled her eyes again.

Only a couple of minutes later, Brian announced they had arrived. After recapping the plan, he attached the camera to the button of his shirt and placed the ear piece to communicate with the rest of the group. He left the car and walked a few steps, headed to Krista’s front door. Mona gave him a sign she could see him on the car’s panel display.

“Can you hear me too?” He asked, testing the ear piece.

“Positive,” Mona answered.

As Brian rang the bell, Krista showed up at the door. Not letting he see much of the inside.

“Brian,” she greeted. “I’m glad you’ve decided to join our weekly studies. Do you know what verse we’ll be studying tonight?”

“It’s a test,” Allison concluded. “A password to let him in.”

“Good one, Allison,” Mona told, remembering the list she saw on Krista’s desk. “Brian? The answer is Proverbs 8:35.”

Brian repeated and Krista let him in. She conducted him to a small office on the back of the house, where a few more students were waiting. Brian sat on a couch and waited for the next happenings.

Krista went to the desk and cleared her throat.

“We’re here tonight for our weekly study. Did everyone bring your Bible?”

The students said ‘yes’, showing their Bibles.

“I-I… don’t have one,” Brian told.

“I’m giving you,” Krista grabbed a Bible from the shelf and handed him.

As Brian opened it, he discovered the middle of the Bible had been removed, creating a secret space to hide stuff.

“Holy shit!” Mona shouted.

“Mona!” Allison reproved her.

“What? She’s the one using a sacred book for… non-christian purposes!”

They turned their attention back to the display. One by one, the students walked to Krista’s desk, taking money from their Bibles and receiving drug syringes in return. Two of them delivered her money, receiving a payment in return and more drugs to be sold. A female friend, who was always with Krista, and Doug, the student who helped her to erase the camera footage.

“Are you capturing this?” Allison asked Leon.

“Straight to your flash drive,” he assured.

“Make copies,” Mona ordered, handing him three other flash drives. “Only to be sure.”

It was Brian’s turn to buy the drug. Krista took the money and gave him one sample of the performance enhancer.

“Only one?” Brian questioned. “Come on, the trainings have started and I want to be in perfect shape for the season.”

“You need to start with a small dose,” Krista explained, keeping her head down and never looking at him, “otherwise your body won’t handle it.”

“And I’ll end like those other students?”

“Possibly. Some died for overuse, so we need to control the amount we sell.”

“The others?”

Krista went quiet for a second.

“Godfather is still studying what went wrong with them, some kind of sensibility.”

“So this is what kills them? Overuse and sensitivity?”

“You’re asking too many questions, Brian.”

“Sorry, I gotta know what I’ll be doing.”

“No problem.”

As the students finished taking their drugs, they started leaving the house. Brian though, was determined to stay until the last second.

———-

“Hey, get out of there,” Mona demanded. “We’ve already got what we needed.”

“Okay,” Brian answered.

As he said goodbye to Krista, another car parked in front of the house. One Mona and Allison were very familiar with.

“It’s the doctor.”

“And Griffin,” Allison added, seeing the two figures leaving the vehicle.

“Brian,” Mona made contact again. “You better hide. The two psychos are getting into the house. Now. I’ll tell you when it’s safe to leave.”

Brian agreed, hiding behind a couch in the living room. He placed the small camera in a strategic position. Minutes later, the Carlsons, followed by Krista, entered the room. Dr. Carlson was extremely angry, while the girl was in tears.

“Know who I spoke to this afternoon? One member of the University administration. He told me the police is THIS close of obtaining the camera footage back!”

“I… I didn’t know! Doug assured me had erased everything, Uncle Em. I swear!”

The man grabbed her by the shoulders, making her look right into his eyes.

“You’ve became a liability, Krista. And you remember what I taught you? What do we do with liabilities?”

“W-We… get rid of them.”

Griffin handed her a gun.

“Do it,” he ordered. “By the time the police comes after you, you’ll have ‘committed suicide’.”

“W-What?!” Krista yelled.

“Fuck!” Mona punched the wheel, unable to believe what her eyes were seeing. “Are you recording this, Leon?”

Leon didn’t answer. His eyes were closed shut and his hands were covering his mouth.

“I-I think I’m gonna throw up.”

“Not in this car. Allison?”

Allison’s eyes were wide and paralyzed upon the scene. Mona squeezed her hand.

“I can’t watch this anymore,” she turned her face away from the screen and grabbed her cell phone. “I’m calling the police.”

“But until they arrive… Brian!”

As she turned her attention back to the display, she watched as Brian lunged at the Carlsons, getting in physical combat with them.

“Run!” He told Krista, while pushing Griffin against a shelf.

The girl took the opportunity, leaving in a hurry through the front door.

“Get out of there!” Mona yelled, starting the car engine. “They’re going to kill you.”

As the older man was stunned by a strong punch on his face, Brian ran away, followed by Griffin. Leon opened the door, allowing him to enter the car as Mona started to drive. She looked at the rearview mirror, Griffin was coming after them.

“Ha! Jerkin doesn’t know who he’s up against.”

Griffin increased the speed, being only a few inches away from the Santagata. Mona narrowed her eyes and rolled down her window.

“What are you doing?!” Allison questioned. “He’s going to see us!”

Mona extended her arm outside, showing the middle finger proudly. Then, she stomped on the pedal, reaching the maximum speed the car had to offer.

“Take that, asshole.”

When she thought they were finally safe, Leon let out a sharp scream.

“Guys! H-He’s aiming his gun at us. He’s going to shoot!”

Mona easily dodged Griffin’s bullets, yet the entire group was in panic.

“Oh my god!” Allison said. “I-I didn’t even know Griffin even had a gun.”

“Oh darling. You need to change your type, because criminal never ends well.”

“Hey,” Mona angered, “watch out the c-word. I’ve paid all my debts with the society.”

Mona passed all the red lights, her car cutting the Los Angeles traffic like a thunderbolt. Griffin was following right behind.

“I don’t wanna die… I don’t wanna die…” Brian kept repeating to himself, crouched on the backseat. “I’m too handsome to die…”

Though he was having difficult to keep up with her pace and skills, Allison’s ex fiancé wouldn’t give up. Mona quickly thought on an alternative to lose him.

“Uhhhh… everyone has seat-belts on?” The group agreed. “Good. Because we’re taking a shortcut.”

She drifted, making the car spin in 180° and changed the direction, following to an overpass.

“Oh no,” Allison said. “You’re not going to do what I think you’re doing…”

“Relax, gorgeous. It’s me who’s in charge of this beautiful machine.”

“It has been years since you…”

It was too late, Mona accelerated. In a dangerous move, she smashed a barricade and jumped off the overpass, sending the car flying in the air. The rest of the group didn’t stop screaming until she landed safely on the freeway. She turned off the car for a moment, taking a relieved breath.

“Is everyone okay?” She asked, panting from the adrenaline. “That coward certainly won’t be coming after us now.”

“I never thought I’d be doing it again,” Allison told. “But I’ll be.”

“Guys?”

Mona looked at the backseat, where Brian nodded and Leon hyperventilated.

She needed to take Brian somewhere safe, after all he was seen by the Carlsons. She couldn’t think of anywhere better than Gramercy Park, where she had some contacts that would ensure him protection for the night. Leon followed along, even if his life wasn’t in any danger.

“Home sweet home,” she said, looking at her surroundings. Allison was still quiet, leaning on the car’s hood. “Up for a walk, to relax?”

Allison forced a smile, wrapping an arm around her waist as they walked together. Mona tried to cheer her up, telling old funny stories about the place and Kaneko’s crew. Then she lead her to the rooftop of an abandoned building.

“For our luck this landscape is still here.”

“What’s is this place?” Allison wanted to know.

“I used come here to clear my head and stargaze. I always wanted to share it with you but… we didn’t have an opportunity last time.”

“It’s different now, Mona,” Allison embraced her tightly. “We’ll have all the time in the world to be together.”

“So,” Mona gazed at her with a suggestive look, “it has been 24 hours and no one was shot, kidnapped or arrested. Is it too soon to ask the question?”

“I thought you may wanted to save it for a special celebration, after Dr. Carlson and his son are in jail.”

“You’re right. Let’s make it special.”

Mona softly pressed her lips on Allison’s.

———-

Still holding Mona’s hand, as she drove them home, Allison couldn’t put off the smile from her face. They were making plans together and talking about the future, everything she always dreamed of having.

“I was doing some research online,” she told. “You still could apply to college.”

“They’d hardly accept me.”

“Come on, you’re such a genius. I was reading your essay and homework.”

“Allison, that’s okay. As long as I find a decent job and a place to live, I’ll be fine.”

Allison cleared her throat. She knew it could be a big step, but after spending eight years apart, she didn’t want to be a day without Mona. Inviting her to move in to her new apartment sounded like a perfect idea for a new beginning together.

“Actually, I’ve been thinking about it. Would you…” the phone buzzing inside her pocket interrupted her. “It’s my dad. He had to rush to the precinct and he wants to see me. Alone.”

“I’ll be waiting outside,” Mona told.

“No, go home. It isn’t safe for you to be alone on the streets, especially with this car. You know what I mean.”

“True, but… be careful you too, okay?”

Mona dropped her at the precinct and they shared a long kiss, before saying goodbye.

Grinning ear to ear, Allison was walking headed to the precinct when she felt a hand on her shoulder. A strong and heavy hand.

“Hello, Allison.”

“Dr. Carlson,” she felt a notch on her throat.

“Do you have a minute for a conversation?”

#ride or die #mona #mona rod #mona x mc #playchoices #choices stories you play #ride or die fanfiction

[the-walking-memelords]

Allegiances: Chapter 15

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 |Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 16

Series is rated M

Word Count: 1879

Clementine visits an old friend to vent her fears.

Read it on Ao3!

Read it on Wattpad!

A/N: Hey sorry for the short and late update. Life threw me through many loops the last couple weeks and I'm still not really 100% I hope to get back on track soon now that the semester is over and things are calming down. Love y'all and thanks for putting up with me lol

Clementine stood in the shadows as she felt the rumble of the train below her feet. Soft golden sunrays flooded in through the boxcar door. The breeze caused her cream-coloured skirt to flutter around her legs as she stepped closer to the open door. The air was a sweet smell. Wildflowers and autumn leaves.

A blur of gold and blue flashed by as the train looped endlessly, travelling without a destination. This train wasn’t heading to Savannah, which was good since that was the last place she ever wanted to be again. Cities were terrible, that’s all that place had taught her. Thousands of the dead hunting for any unfortunate soul who remained; the rotting stench suffocating every bit of air.

Ben, Molly, Chuck… nearly Kenny as well…

Any lost name was one too many. The names of those who tried to keep her safe only piled higher.

Katjaa and Duck.

Those who didn’t make it to the city.

Not to mention those who were lost from the start.

Mom and Dad.

The soft, kind smiles they always wore upon seeing her were replaced with the hungry grimaces of the dead at their final meeting with their daughter. Their dull skin ripped and riddled with bites. The sight searing into the young girl’s eyes.

Clementine grabbed the brim of her hat holding the unstained cap in front of her as she sat on the edge of the cool metal, her legs swinging freely off the side.

She traced her fingers over the seam of the D, the insignia showing no signs of wear. The surrounding white showed brightly. Her fingertips moved to the blank location of the one stain that never came out. The blood of the man who was by her side since the beginning. The stain was a reminder of her stupid, childish mistake, and the man who died trying to correct it.

Clem hugged the hat close with one arm, the other feeling through her tied-back hair. She let her fingers catch in the knots as she raked her hand through.

“I wish you wouldn’t do that, Sweetpea.”

Clementine’s heart jumped at the familiar nickname. She looked over her shoulder at the smiling man, so real in front of her it was as if the past eight years had not occurred. Same blue button-up over a long-sleeved white shirt.

Lee.

“Helps me focus.” Was all she could mumble out as her hand fell to her lap, replacing the cap on her head.

She focused her eyes on the weeds flying past, unable to look up at him as he joined her on the edge.

“The train again…” He stated.

“You always pick the train.”

The train where everything changed.

“This is where it all started. Where I learned to be a survivor.” Clem pointed out.

“Where you taught me to shoot and cut my hair.”

Clementine knew she’d let him down. Lee taught her better than this, but she still became just another monster.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice caught in her throat.

“You say that every time.” Lee let out a small laugh.

“And I still don’t think you have anything to apologize to me for.”

She glanced over at him, his kind eyes looked at her with a pride she didn’t hold in herself.

“It’s happening again. My friends are dying because of me, because I’m a liar.” Despair in her words as they rolled off her tongue.

“This group… I’ve been with so many, but this one is different. I want to stay with them. I’m sick of starting over.”

She just wanted to stop, even for just a moment. A moment to rest. A moment without a war. A moment without thinking about the next fight. A moment of peace.

“I’m scared, Lee. The others are counting on me, and I don’t know if what I’m doing is right.” Clem picked at the hem of her skirt.

“I don’t know where AJ is, or if he’s even still alive. And Louis… he doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into.”

“I don’t know what I’d do if I lost either of them.” Clementine bit her lip hard, taking a deep breath as she held back the tears.

“So Louis is your boyfriend, huh?” The man teased, trying to cheer her up.

“Shut up.” Clementine felt her face grow warm.

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Sweetpea.” Lee chuckled as he patted her head.

“Finding love in a world like this, that's something worth fighting for.”

“He doesn’t even know AJ, but he still wants to help me save him.” She crossed her arms tight as a familiar fear crept up her spine

“If he got hurt or worse because of me, I couldn't live with myself. He doesn’t know what he’s up against. If he did, he would understand why I have to go alone.”

Her words hung in the air for a moment. Clementine’s frustration and fear hanging over her like a heavy fog, blocking her senses from all else.

“He understands that that boy means everything to you, and to him, that’s enough of a reason to fight.”

“Do you think AJ will like it at the school?” The physical conditions of the boarding school were rougher than at the Delta, limited food and no power or running water. But they’d be safe, and together. That would be enough, right?

“I don’t think that kid would care where he goes if he gets to stay with you.” Lee assured.

“How was he, the last time you saw him?”

God, it was so long ago.

“Okay enough, I guess.” But there was a worry that had been bothering her for some time, like an itch that couldn’t be scratched.

“I’m worried that Lilly’s been trying to get into his head.”

Lilly wasn’t exactly a positive influence on the boy. She was a master of manipulation, Clem feared it would be all to easy for her to shape AJ into whatever tool she wanted him to be.

All the more reason to kill her sooner.

“Lilly.” Lee’s voice was low, almost like a growl as the words passed his lips.

“I knew the day we kicked her out that she was turning into a monster. I just wish I’d noticed it a few seconds sooner.”

Carley.

“To think of all the trouble I might’ve saved you if I’d just gotten payback then and there.”

“You’re not the revenge type, Lee.” Clementine couldn’t imagine Lee gunning down Lilly on the side of the road for what she’d done.

“I didn’t think I was either until you got nabbed.” The man’s hands clenched into fists at the thought of that stranger.

“You were just protecting me. That’s why you kill, to protect people. That’s why I shot him, to protect you.” The second she’d pulled the trigger the gun felt as if it had grown a hundred times heavier, slipping through her shaking fingers as his body hit the floor.

“I’ve hurt so many people since then. People who didn’t deserve to die.”

She told herself it was what had to be done. But no amount of self-justification could take away the crushing knot in her stomach whenever she did it.

“I want Lilly to be the last. I don’t want to hurt any more people.” It was the closest Clementine felt to James’ pacifism. Yet killing walkers left no burden on her.

“Lilly dies, and I bring Violet and the others home.”

Hopefully, their rescue would make up for all of her lies. The sound of Violet’s screams as she was dragged away echoed in her head.

I hope you’re okay, Vi.

“I know it’s hard, Clem, but having people you care about? That's a good thing.” Lee’s soothing voice gave her a sense of calm.

“You’ve got a little boy who thinks the world of you, and he’s waiting for you to go get him. Another boy who loves you, and would fight for you without hesitation. A best friend who risked her life to save yours. And all the other friends you’ve made. You’ll all be home soon, I promise.”

“You can’t promise that.” She knew Lee had no sway in the events to come.

“You’re not even really here.”

The man who stood before her was nothing but a wishful dream.

“I wish I was, Clementine. I guess we’ll just have to make do with pretending.” His smile fell as he let out a sad sigh.

“The last thing I wanted to do was leave you alone in the middle of this mess.”

“The world turned to hell, and you got stuck taking care of a little kid.” How long would Lee have lived if their paths hadn’t crossed? Surely longer than a few mere months.

“And it seems you followed right in my footsteps.” He jested. Lee had a point, circumstances be damned their situations had played out eerily similar.

Clementine glanced over at the man as he rose from his spot, catching his balance as the train rumbled beneath him. Lee stepped away from the light, the shadows of the dark car nearly obscuring his facial features.

“I’m so proud of you, Clem.” His voice caught with emotion.

“Don’t you dare forget that.”

Clementine couldn’t hold back anymore. The little girl jumped to her feet and flung her arms around him. She hugged him tightly as if he might disappear into the wind. A sob escaped her tiny body as her tears stained the blue of his shirt.

The train’s whistle cutting through the silence signified that their time was coming to a close. It took a lot for Clementine to force herself to let go of him, but when she did, Lee’s eyes filled with amazement as he saw his little girl all grown up.

“Wow…” He gasped.

“Just look at you.”

Clem took a step back as she blinked tears from her eyes. Her worn denim jacket and mud-stained cargo pants replacing her innocent summer dress and tights. Dark curls fluttered around her face no longer held back by her hat or hair ties.

“I’m done running, Lee. I have a home now. A family.” She promised him she’d always keep moving, but now she’d found something better.

“I have one more battle, then I’m done fighting as well.”

“Then I guess you’re off the hook.” He laughed.

“A home and a family is more than I ever could have hoped for you.”

The train whistled again, a rude reminder that it was time to go. Lee shook his head disapprovingly, seeming just as annoyed by it as she was.

“There are people that need you, Clementine.” He reminded with a soft smile.

“Come see me again once you bring everyone home. Okay, Sweetpea?”

“Okay, Lee.” Her heart felt like it was being ripped apart as she watched him disappear into the shadows

“Goodbye.”

The shadows swarmed around her, blocking out the golden hues until they were replaced with the overhead bars of her cold bunk bed.

Clementine sat up, stretching her arms over her head as she looked around the empty moonlit room.

A knock at her door made her jump.

“Clementine?” She heard Mitch call from the other side.

“It’s time to go.”

One more fight.

#allegiances #clouis #louistine #twdg louis #twdg clementine #my writing