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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 8 months

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You always have the best thought out and researched Hobie takes, so I have a punkflower question for you. How does Hobie respond to his boyfriend's father being a cop? I feel too many fics and creators tend to brush it under the rug. How do you think that situation would pan out?

OOOOHHH YAY HOBIE AND COP STUFFFFF SO lets talk about

Miles, Hobie, and Having a Dad In Blue

[I'm gonna be transparent like Miles - there's no open romance in this. This is mainly a short thing about Hobie helping Miles heal from the pressures of his family - just wanted to give a heads up so no one gets to the end and gets disappointed lol]

Honestly, when I think about it -

I think Hobie's first reaction would be more about Miles, than it would be his own feelings.

Like I don't think his first thought would be 'ew' or 'that's horrible' . I think automatically his first thought would be -

'That makes a lot of sense'.

First thing that pops into his head.

Hobie and Miles come from two very different universes, and the ways they handle their shared identity of Spider-man is really different too.

We hear it directly in Hobie's introduction - He's NOT a Role Model.

But earlier in the movie, Officer Davis' biggest gripes with Spider-man - with Miles - is that he is not enough of a role model.

Miles is trying his best. He wants to be a good hero for his dad's sake - knowing one day the cat will be out of the bag.

That's different than Gwen and her father. Her father already knows GhostSpider as a murderer, and there's no reversing that. Gwen knew her father would never accept her - so she hasto keep it a secret - in definitely.

She'll never be a role model to her father - and she's not trying to be anymore. That's Gwen's arc.

An arc Miles hasn't gone on yet. He still wants to be a role model. He wants his dad to idolize and like Spider-man because he doesn't plan to keep it a secret indefinitely.

Unlike Gwen, he wants his father to know who he is.

But he can't - he still feels like he has something to live up to - a code of honor he feels he isn't reaching.

Miles wants to be good enough.

So Hobie sees him going through this struggle all the time, of wanting to be like Peter, wanting to impress his dad, worrying about telling his parents. And not knowing the source -

And then Miles is like "OH By the way, my dad's a cop."

I feel like it would just click for Hobie. He'd be like "That makes a lot of sense, if I'm being honest."

If anything I think he'd feel for Miles first and foremost. That's what Hobie does.

He'd immediately see Miles, and the effect his dad has on him, in both good and bad ways. His dad helps Miles strive to be better - but that also leaves him feeling guilty and alone.

I think he'd go on to be like "That's gotta be tough. Is that the reason why you X, Y, Z?"

And Miles - Poor Miles probably wouldn't even pick up on this until that very moment. Having Hobie say to this him would probably leave him a little shook.

But it'd be SO relieving.

Gwen and Miles don't talk about their family. Gwen isn't a talky person. Miles doesn't really have anyone to talk to about his family dynamic or his situation at home.

Like even Miles!42 - His uncle Aaron KNOWS he's Prowler. Miles doesn't have that support.

And then Hobie would give it to him, and be like 'I understand', 'That must suck', 'You don't have to be a role model, you just have to be yourself.'

Hobie offers that support all without Miles asking - (Miles is finna cry)

All because Miles having a cop as a dad immediately explains a lot of the struggles he's going through. And Hobie can see that. It makes him frustrated and he'd want to at least be someone Miles can talk to.

Like police corruption and oppression aside, living in the shadow of someone with a black and white view of right and wrong, or good and bad, sucks.

Growing up under someone who abides by order and swears by it SUCKS, because the world in unorderly. The universe is.

Hobie knows this. Him meeting Officer Davis however is a whole thing -

Honestly speaking, I'd think he'd look at Miles dad with pity. Like 'Damn you're a good father and a good husband - but you're a cop'.

He'd probably turn up to the cookout, make himself and his views known (not changing the laces) and if Miles' dad really finds a problem with them he can ask.

Hobie will happily tell him "I'm not from here. The place I'm from is a lot less nice and a lot more corrupt than this one. What I did ain't fun - but it was in the name of liberty. I guess you know all about 'defending liberty', don't you? You wear a blue uniform to remind you. I wear blue laces."

Because it's the truth. Hobie will say that shit without blinking. Standing there like

'Now is there a problem, officer?' Just because he wears blue laces DOESN'T mean he lacks a moral code.

Hobie has a moral code. A VERY strong one - and simply in the way he carries himself, you can tell that he's committed to that code.

Maybe even more than Officer Davis. They have two different moral codes, but I'm sure Miles dad can identify on sight - and respect - 'We both are the type to stand by what we think is right'

Because by Hobie not changing himself, he's showing that he won't bend his morals for Miles' family. But there's differences in the way they operate and that's okay.

But ALL IN ALL -

I think Hobie learning about Miles' Dad would

Bring them closer together. For the first time Miles has words and reason behind the pressure he feels. Why he looks up to his dad and is annoyed with him at the same time. Hobie would catch the connection right away, and open the discussion. And Miles is open to talking, we see it in their scene before Miguel's office. I think having that outlet would help Miles SO much. I feel like he'd become more confident over night. Hobie telling him there's no rules or laws or academy when it comes to being Spider-man. There are certain circumstances where the police just can't help. That's what Spider-man is for. To go above and beyond the black and white authority society has created. It'd be so liberating for Miles.

Garner some respect between Officer Davis and Hobie. It kinda sounds backwards. But lets be honest, if they're at the dinner table and Officer Davis asks about one of Hobie's political patches - he's gonna tell him what he thinks straight out. Hobie's wearing a 'Dearm the Police' patch and Miles' dad asks about it - Hobie's gonna be like 'Yeah, they don't need those weapons. The lot of them are already weapons themselves.' And of course Officer Davis is gonna want a conversation about it, and Hobie loves hearing himself talk. But it never gets heated. It's them going back and forth dropping these huge points and citing examples and bringing up theoretical scenarios. It's just - THEY KEEP TALKING. Rio is like 'Hun, please your food is getting cold.' And Jeff is like 'One second - *Turns to Hobie* In 1983 there was a court case about a cop- *continues his long as counterpoint*' What even more interesting - HOBIE HAS A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF HISTORY THAN JEFF. Yeah, all those cases in the 70's that Jeff was a baby for. Yeah, Hobie was there and a teenager - the equivalent of cases still match up. So Jeff is debating at the dinner table with a dude who is technically older than him - but he doesn't know that so Hobie keeps catching him off guard with that SMUG ASS GRIN Miles is sighing under his breath like 'Hobie COME ON let him win PLEASE' So for Miles, and ONLY MILES, Hobie lets it slide. Until Jeff turns on the TV. And the first thing they see on the screen is s report about politics and NOW THEY'RE BACK AT IT AGAIN FUCK Hobie pointing at the screen like 'Case & Point, m8. Thats exactly what I mean!' Fuck outta here, Hobie will debate till the cows come home.

It'd help Miles and his dad a lot Officer Davis would probably be left with a HUGE amount of respect for Hobie. Because yeah he looks like a delinquent - to someone obvious trained by the system. But Hobie knows his shit. He knows how to maneuvour in conversation, how to pick peoples brains, and understand their reasoning. He GENUINELY wants to have a conversation. Because he genuinely believes he can back himself up in a calm and logic way. So why not talk about it? After Hobie leaves there would always be a silence - and that's because yeah they went back and fourth for 40 minutes, but Hobie ALWAYS leaves you with something to think about. Or consider. Or re-evaluate. Honestly Miles has NO idea what his dad thinks. Usually his dad would be ranting still - but he looks more thoughtful. Just replaying the discussion he had with Hobie. Miles might ask his dad what he thinks - but his dad might say something vague like Officer Stacy did - call him a 'piece of work' It isn't until later when Miles' dad knocks on his door that he realizes how much Hobie has an impact. Even if his dad didn't know about his secret identity - I think he would see how much his police training effects his home and Miles in specific. How much pressure that can put on someone. Officer Davis would replay the story Hobie told him of the unnamed girl whose father shot at her. And he'd consider how anyone could choose their badge over their kid. Maybe he has a discussion with Miles, apologizes for the pressure he puts on him, telling Miles he's proud of him.

And Miles would know it's all because of Hobie. Because Hobie cares about him and Hobie knows how to approach people, all type of people.

Officer Davis would KNOW how Hobie feels about cops. And he's know why. He'd at the very least understand Hobie, or respect him. Hobie would make him realize - 'Oh hey, you don't have to be a role model to be a good person'.

Because Hobie Brown is NOT a role model. He's something better.

That's just how I see it. I think Hobie is a great mediator tbh. It's his strongest talent. It's the reason why Miles trusts him to much to begin with.

ANNNDDD As per usual if you made it this far - THANK YOU!!!! The gift shop is to the left. As courtesy here is a photo of Hobie with a bonus photo of Miles that I think is really really funny.

I don't know why that photo of Miles is SOOO funny to me- I think its the fact his hands are in fists his expression is so unreadable IT LOOKS LIKE HES ABOUT TO SOCK ME IN THE MOUTH Im in legit tears laughing at that

Bye.

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thornpixie · 9 months

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I am Team Jeremiah, but that doesn’t mean I hate Conrad. However, I find it very hard to feel any sympathy for him: an essay.

I truly hope Conrad finds happiness. I just don’t think he and Belly are right for each other. And no, I haven’t read the books (you can read my feelings on that argument in another post I’ve done lol), so I’m just going off the show.

I am Team Jeremiah, I make no secret of it. But that’s because he is just the better choice for Belly. Not because he is better than Conrad, full stop. They both have their flaws. Should Jeremiah have made out with his brothers ex girlfriend like that, without at least talking to him first? Hell no. But come on - the guy tried to resist. He tried so hard. Belly kept pushing. And let’s remember what Conrad said to Belly at the start of the season after they kissed - ‘Do you want to be with him?’ ‘Being with you is all I’ve ever wanted.’ ‘Okay so be with me then.’

Belly choosing Conrad over Jeremiah was all that mattered back then, not how it affected anyone else, even though she was quasi-dating his brother for most of the summer. He didn’t give a fuck about Jeremiah and if it wasn’t for Belly saying no, he would have flaunted her immediately, even knowing she had kissed Jere a few times. When he asked Jeremiah for his blessing, I don’t believe he did that for any other reason than Belly would continue to distance herself from him until she believed Jere was over it. Conrad did not go to Jeremiah to make sure he truly was okay. He was ticking a box for Belly. Jeremiah was quite obviously not okay with it but Conrad chose to ignore that because he wanted Belly. We saw that in what he told Belly about it afterwards. He took the parts of the conversation that suited his narrative and the outcome he wanted, and he ran with it. And it worked. Jeremiah got hurt, and Conrad didn’t care, because he had Belly.

Their relationship wasn’t this epic love story. I still don’t understand where it came from. I understand Belly’s crush. But when and how and why did Conrad start loving her? The writers of the show seemed to just say ‘he just does’ and we are supposed to say ‘okay yeah sound makes sense.’ I just don’t understand the timeline. Besides that though… Look, I understand and empathise with the fact that his mom was dying while they were dating, and that he was struggling with his mental health. It was a lot for an 18 year old to deal with. (Of course, Jeremiah was dealing with it, too, but Conrad stans conveniently forget that). But Belly suffered in that relationship because of it, and no one should have to do that. To me, it seemed like she was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for him to pull away. Scared. Maybe Conrad wasn’t going to break up with her at prom, and she jumped the gun, but it says a lot about how she was feeling that she immediately assumed that. A relationship shouldn’t be like that.

Jeremiah, though… from day one he was open and honest with her. He asked her straight up if she could ever love him like she did Conrad and she said YES. Belly said herself - Jeremiah is always there when she needs him. That’s what you need in a life partner. And fuck me, the passion they have. A perfect blend of supportive and passionate. Tie that man DOWN. He is supportive, he defends her, he speaks his mind, he is honest and reliable (the only time we saw him ‘let her down’ in any way was when he missed the dance at the Deb Ball and jeez, he had a damn good reason so no one can blame him). He makes her laugh. They can have fun together, but can also have the serious conversations. I married my best friend and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s honestly amazing to know you have that person who truly sees you, loves and supports you. Who is your comfort. Jeremiah is that for Belly. Honestly, I could go on and on about how Jeremiah is the perfect match for her - and the chemistry between Gavin and Lola definitely adds to it, but it isn’t the only factor - but everyone has probably given up reading by now…

Both boys have been dealt a shit hand, losing their mother. Both boys have made mistakes and have flaws. But they both have incredibly good qualities, too. Personally, I just think that Jeremiah is more suited to Belly, and they will have a happy, healthy relationship.

Also, the way she kissed him back in that episode… I’m sorry but there’s no way she’s not jumping his bones when they start officially dating. It wouldn’t make sense to me. She was smiling against his mouth and knotting her fingers in his hair, and it was ‘Wattpad level hot’, as Taylor would say. Considering she’s already done the deed, I can’t see any logical way for the writers to incorporate a ‘no intimacy’ storyline for them. Especially after that scene in particular, but also their first kiss in the pool back in season one, and the booby fondling in the car - WHERE BELLY STRAIGHT UP SAID SHE WAS NOT NERVOUS BECAUSE IT WAS JEREMIAH. Sorry, but let’s be real - there’s not a chance in hell those two are not banging the brains out of each other. And good on them. So I hope that is a change made to the books. Furthermore, show-Jeremiah cheating? I cannot see it happening. I really really hope it doesn’t.

IF Bonrad must be endgame, then please, Jenny Han, I beg of you to right your wrongs and not assassinate Jeremiah’s character to reach that ending. There are better ways to do it. But I maintain that the better choice for Belly is Jeremiah. And Conrad should meet someone new who is more emotionally mature and able to deal with his very obvious mental health problems. Someone he feels he can open up to about them. Because, as a sufferer myself, you need that support. Belly doesn’t provide that for Conrad and, as a result, Conrad doesn’t give Belly what she needs either.

One last parting thought - what the fuck happened to Jeremiah and Steven’s friendship? Jeremiah told Steven how much he cared for Belly in season one. Why did literally no one listen to him? And how did no one see it in the way his entire personality seemed to shift in season two. He’s lost his sparkle. YES most of that is because of his mom, but is everyone really that blind to him? No one notices that poor guy. He’s completely overshadowed by Conrad in every aspect. Everyone just expects Jeremiah to roll over and let everyone else have their happy ending while he gets trampled on because he’ll ‘just get over it’. Come on. WRITERS - DO BETTER. There is too much phenomenal acting talent in this show to let bad writing and tropes ruin it.

In conclusion, I haven’t written this much on one topic since I did my degree and I am obsessed with this show. Goodbye.

#belly conklin #jeremiah fisher #the summer i turned pretty #tsitp #belly x jeremiah #tsitp conrad #conrad fisher #team jeremiah #j

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sribbles-drabbles · 1 year

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@sivlynxx asked:

So umm this is my first time requesting something, can you write sfw of the obey me brothers with a really anxious MC? Like an MC who is always anxious? Thank you

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Sure hon!! As someone who has anxiety themself, I had a lot of fun with this!!

💙Lucifer💙

Honestly I don’t think Lucifer would have much idea what it’s like to feel anxiety, or at least wouldn’t admit it.

He’s the avatar of pride, and thus usually very confident in himself and his decisions.

So when he meets you this meek little human who’s nervous ALL THE TIME he starts to feel protective

In his mind he has enough confidence for the both of you

When you attempt to explain your situation and what it means to have anxiety, he can’t help but think back to Lilith

Thus his protectiveness increases 10 fold

He’s the type to brag about you or tell you that “I chose you because you’re perfect. As the avatar of pride I wouldn’t settle for anything less.”

In other words he attempts to remedy your anxiety by hyping you up. But remind him that it’s part of who you are.

Slowly he’ll start to understand, and see how many things can cause emotional peril for you, and rather than being protective, he becomes your guiding light

He still wants you to have more confidence in yourself, and will still hype you up in his own way, but it more apt to helping you process and work through your anxiety.

“I know it seems utterly terrifying through your eyes. But I promise it’s not scary. And when have I ever lied to you?”

💛Mammon💛

This man GETS IT.

I mean not totally because how can you be terrified of like the future???? It’s not gonna hurt ya?????

But once you sit him down and explain why you’re afraid of things it clicks

And then Mammon probably opens up about his self anxiety caused by years of his brother’s words

You two probably have a nice moment of realizing how much you two bonded over this.

Honestly I think Mammon becomes really good at reading your tells.

Like, he’ll notice little things like you playing with your hair of sleeves and immediately drag you away from whatever it is that seems to be making you anxious.

If you’re the type to apologize 200 times for something minor, Mammon is the type to hug you tight and tell you it’s ok.

It’s something minor, let it go.

Honestly he keeps you grounded, in a very sensitive and emotional way.

That doesn’t mean he’s perfect though, as he often says dumb shit that can make you nervous, or comes back with bruises after an encounter with Lucifer and you worry.

He always feels terrible when he sees you full of fear due to his actions, and tries to get hurt alot less and be more careful with his words.

“O-Oi, I’m ok babe!! Honest!! Please don’t freak…I mean-….you’re not-….Ugh….I’m sorry….just…come here…”

🧡Levi🧡

Another man who understands your struggle on a spiritual level.

Honestly if you have anxiety….maybe don’t date this man…

Your anxiety triggers his anxiety and it’s an endless cycle of “why are you nervous???” “I don’t know, why are YOU nervous???”

But if you DO date this man with your level of anxiety already, you both slowly learn to function together

And honestly you both function a bit better together than apart some days

You both learn each other’s tells and attempt to pull each other away from uncomfortable situations.

Levi teaches you some of the soothing techniques that he picked up over time, and if you have any you like, you’re welcome to teach them to him!

When it’s a really bad day for one of you, you often find comfort in the other, and it more often than not results in wrapping up together in a blanket while playing a video game or watching anime.

He also strikes me ad the type to swim when nervous, and thus will offer you to join him of you’re feeling a lot of anxiety at a given moment.

All in all, it takes practice, but if you two really work together, you end up being a really nice and supportive couple that helps each other function nicely!!

“H-Hey it’s o-okay!! How about we watch some Ruri-Chan instead. I’m r-right here, I promise.”

💚Satan💚

He kinda understands it, but more in like a third person psychiatrist kinda way.

Like he knows what anxiety is and many of the symptoms and habits as he’s done some research on the topic when it comes to Levi and Asmo sometimes.

Thus when you confide in him or when he figures it out and asks you if you have anxiety, he immediately enters “And why do you think that is?” Mode.

Satan is a fixer, not a “we can work with this” person.

Your boyfriend starts acting like a therapist, and as you rant to him about your concerns, he’ll give you logical answers to your concerns or strategies to go about your problems.

If this type of thing helps? Great! Let him play Sherlock Holmes with your brain, it give him something to do and makes him feel happy to help and accomplished when he figures out the advice you need.

If it DOES’NT work and you need more of an emotional approach, tell him that. He’ll be frustrated and probably get angry.

But when he sees how he fell into his sin, and how he scares your already frightened form, something clicks.

This is emotion, something illogical. And he needs to be more sensitive.

He then researches eve more about anxiety, and asks you about your personal experiences on a more personal level.

He’s definitely wary and nervous about his temper now. Or even more than before. He realizes that this is his own anxiety now, and uses this to form more of a solid empathic connection with you.

He really loves you, and while it may take him time to learn how to best live with you, please give him time. He’s trying really hard.

“I’m sorry….that was insensitive…let me rephrase, did you want to talk about it? Or is there anything you want to do to take your mind off of it?”

💕Asmo💕

Another person who I feel like somewhat understands it but also doesn’t…

Like, he doesn’t KNOW that he understands it or that he’s experienced it until you tell him your feelings and he’s like: “THAT’S WHAT THAT WAS???”

Then he’s probably just grappling with the fact that HE has anxiety, and then gets anxious over whether or not that will give him worry lines, and if people know, and if—

He starts spiraling.

You end up having to use some strategies you learned to help him calm himself down.

He thanks you and you both cuddle while talking about the topic more.

Once you both realize you both have anxiety, you bond over it and learn what coping mechanism help the other person so you can effectively help each other!!

To Asmo, mental health is just as important ad physical health, and he makes sure to reminds you of that!! He probably seeks out therapy for the both of you.

He offers to go with you at the same time if it’s too scary.

After all, I don’t think Asmo has social anxiety, but more anxiety about how others perceive his appearance specifically.

It’s definitely caused by his time online, and his modeling career.

Remind him that it’s his personality that people love, not just his appearance.

He’s really good at soothing you with words or physical touch if you prefer and learns all of your tells and favorite coping mechanisms.

He’s a doting and devoted partner, and just as you help him with his anxiety, he helps you with yours!!

“Shhh, shhhh, it’s ok love. Don’t focus on those nasty thoughts. They can’t hurt you…just focus on me, alright?”

❤️Beel❤️

Another baby who understands how hard anxiety can be.

I feel like he developed it really bad after Lilith’s death, and his separation anxiety especially only got worse after Belphie’s imprisonment.

So when he notices you pushing the food around on your plate without taking a single bite one dinner, he worries.

He probably confronts you afterword. If you try to lie tour way out of it, telling him your fine, he’ll let it go but look sad.

Once you do tell him, he feels a bit better, but still worries about the fact that in his mind you live with all this fear, worry, and doubt.

He probably becomes quite a bit more clingy.

Wherever you go, Beel is not to far behind to make you feel loved and safe.

Other demons make you feel nervous? He scares them off. You’re worried about finishing assignments and deadlines? He’ll help you with whatever if is as best he can.

He often invites you to watch his practice after classes so that you can simply watch him play and turn your brain off for a little while.

When your anxiety gets really bad, he’ll probably simply hold you. Beel isn’t the best with words sometimes, so he uses physical touch to often ground you, but always asks if it’s ok if he touches you first.

If you don’t like touch or that makes your anxiety worse, he’ll probably go down to the kitchen and make your favorite food before returning.

He then puts on your favorite movie/show/anime and you two eat together and watch it.

Of you would rather eat and talk about it, he’s more than willing to listen though!!

“Thanks for telling me…that’s gotta be hard…but we’ll eat all your favorite foods until you feel better.”

💜Belphie💜

Belphie understands anxiety, but probably not to the level you have it.

Though he DOES know some great coping mechanisms from helping Beel with his anxiety over Lilith.

So when you first display anxiety in front of Belphie, he’s really good at helping you calm yourself down with breathing and reassurance.

He’s glad he was able to help, but a little frustrated that he did’nt notice it sooner. He thought you were just still jittery about other demons and your surroundings.

Once you talk to him about your anxiety he asks you if your interested in therapy.

Personally I can see Belphie being in therapy for his anger and his grief still over Lilith.

Thus I feel like he’d pitch the idea to you.

If you don’t want to go, he understands. It’s not for everyone, and lots of people have had bad experiences.

Then he simply does what he’s been doing, helping calm you down when you need it.

He’s a great listener and will often pull you into his bed and let you curl into him as you both close your eyes, you listening to his heart and getting sleepy as you tell him all about what’s making you nervous until you forget and your words slur and you sleep.

Your anxiety makes you develop insomnia? He has bottles of melatonin babes.

Belphie is honestly the most apt of the brothers and has the most tips and tricks that not even you knew when it comes to helping with anxiety.

He makes sure you’re comfortable at all times when you’re with him, and won’t let any dark thoughts plague your mind as long as he’s here!

“Come lay down with me. The blanket is soft and we’ll work on breathing and focusing on physical feeling rather than emotion. Kay’?”

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inbarfink · 7 months

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I still can't understand why GolBetty turned the Lich into Tetris block. Like, she has an immortal powerful being who has no purpose and who asks her to give him that purpose. Why not order him to guard Simon for the rest of Simon's life?

GolBetty could fix his meat suit so that the Lich would not frighten the inhabitants of OOO with his appearance, and everyone would be happy. Simon has a bodyguard to ensure his safety (Happiness for Betty), the Lich has a goal (Happiness for the Lich)

I... okay, I am just going to make a List of all the reasons for why 'Making the Lich into Simon's Bodyguard' is a Bad Plan.

First and foremost, can she order the Lich? As GOLBetty, she cannot actually speak. The only way she could communicate with Simon is through cryptic actions and a video game and a Weird Memory Brain Visit Thing. And it worked, but you have to consider how much of it worked because Simon is, despite all of his flaws, an intelligent and considerate person making an honest attempt to understand what Betty is telling him and is also the person Betty herself understands more than anyone else. Trying to communicate 'hey, your role in life is to protect this man' to a murderous nuclear skeleton you've never spoken to before and only really understands death and destruction might be a Complicated Matter. Especially as the consequences for the Lich misinterpreting GOLBetty's actions could be quite dire. Because, again, for years before the Lich only understood death and destruction.

Second of all... I think you're making quite a big assumption here, thinking she can she repair the suit. GOLB is a being of pure chaos and entropy, most of their powers are based around mutating and twisting and corrupting the things around them (sometimes turning them into Tetris blocks, sometimes into monsters). Could she restore something into a previous pristine state? Not that would be a good idea either, because the Lich's Meat Suit is Billy's body. So if Billy starts running around Ooo again like 10 years after he died, people might start asking questions. A better idea would be to make a new Meat Suit, which... again, considering GOLB's powerset and aesthetic would still look pretty Freaky probably. But considering Ooo is... Ooo, he could at least pass as an Unrelated Weird Spooky Monster Man. But still, like, there's still always the risk someone might recognize his voice or his powerset and realize this guy is Bad News.

And the thing is... yes, the Lich is Bad News! Sure, at that point he was utterly depressed and sure his original 'purpose' was meaningless and desperate for GOLB to give him a new goal for existence but, like... he is also an immensely powerful being that most Heroes in Ooo still struggle to defeat and before his Existential Crisis clearly took a lot of pleasure in the idea of destruction. Like, there was a reason why he decided to interpret GOLB's chaos and entropy as Omnicide. That part wasn't just following GOLB's orders, that what at least partly about the Lich's own desires at the time. So sure, maybe if his God told him 'yeah, sure your new job is to take care of this boring ol' nerd' - maybe the the Lich would be satisfied with this idea for a while. But... what happens past that initial contentment? What if the Lich doesn't find babysitting a 50 year old academic with clinical depression a 'satisfying purpose' either? What if being returned to an Ooo abundant with life and creation starts firing up his urge for destruction all over again? What if he does some soul-searching and realizes he can find a purpose himself outside of the shitty boring task GOLB has inexplicably given him, and that goal might not include annihilating all life in the universe, but is still pretty Evil on it's own? Letting any incarnation of the Lich run free and unharmed and close to Simon would be a huge risk that could backfire at any moment if his faith and fervor for GOLB falters even slightly. Quite honestly, I can't see Betty take that risk.

Also, like, Simon doesn't really need a bodyguard?? I mean, he did for this Adventure maybe - but this is clearly, like, Not a Regular Occurrence for Simon. In his Actual Everyday Life right now, he is generally perfectly safe, living a peaceful-if-wacky-life like any other Oooian civilian. Even when he goes on that ill-fated adventure with Finn that traumatized the shit out of him, he was terrified, but he was hardly ever in real danger with Finn around. The Multiverse Adventure was only as dangerous for him as it was because it was a rare time where most of Ooo's greatest current heroes are not easily available to help him on speed-dial (and they're a lot less likely to suddenly commit omnicide because they overcame their own depression!). The Lich wouldn't even be hypothetically useful on this Adventure. The Scarab was hard even for GOLBetty herself to defeat, and the Lich probably wouldn't get teleported with Simon to Prismo's Time Room. Most of the problems Simon actually faces in his present-day life would only be exacerbated by the presence of a bodyguard of any kind, and especially a bodyguard who is also the Lich. Like, he already experiences a serious lack of privacy from his current Living Museum Exhibition Job - does he need a Spooky Scary Skeleton who follows him around and overzealously watches his every move? And Simon already feels kinda isolated from the people around him - and making and keeping friends would only be more difficult with a creepy vaguely-homicidal dude following you around to 'protect' you. Especially if Simon can't explain to others where he came from, and especially if he needs to hide the fact this is an incarnation of the Lich (and especially from Finn, basically the Lich's arch-enemy at this point and also Simon's dear friend). And... like, Simon needs to find a way to rediscover his old adventurous spirit in his own terms and in a way that makes him feel safe, and that wouldn't be easy when the one thing keeping the Goddam Lich in check is the honest believe that 'keeping Simon Petrikov safe' is like his divinely ordained goal.

And this kinda follows from my previous point, but it was so important I felt that it deserves to be it's own bullet point. What Simon needs more than anything is to move on from Betty. And Betty knows it, that was the whole point of... basically the whole Simon half of the finale. And moving on from Betty is already hard for Simon with all the love he still feels for her and all that she has done for him - and it's only going to be even harder if she gives him his own Apocalypse Skeleton Bodyguard to follow him around for the rest of his life. What she wants for him now is not just to be 'safe', but to be happy - and getting a Bodyguard Lich will not make Simon happy!

And finally, like, moving on for a second to the Lich's perspective. Even if we do assume that the Lich can find happiness and satisfaction in following Simon Petrikov around. Simon's not getting any younger. It's a huge part of the conflict of 'Fionna and Cake' that he is a mortal man - so what happens to the Lich when he croaks? Yet another total crisis of purpose? Another spiral of depression? And again, I do want to emphasize that the Lich is still an incredibly powerful creature capable of extreme sadism and cruelty and we really can't predict how that crisis of faith will manifest itself. A lot of people worry about what will happen to their loved ones when they're gone, but Simon Petrikov doesn't need to lay awake at night thinking about his Skeleton Buddy going Literally Nuclear as a result of his death and putting all of his other friends in mortal danger.

That's just what I can think of for now, just off the top of my head. Quite honestly, there's probably even more reasons why it would be a very very very bad idea to let the Evil Death Skeleton hang out with Simon Petrikov in one of the biggest civilian population centers in Ooo.

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turbulentscrawl · 6 months

Text

Identity(V) Headcanons: Luca Balsa

Next up!

Again, I am new to the IDV fandom, and I have never played the game, so these headcanons are informed by my ongoing lore dives sourcing the wiki, japanese twitter responses, comics, stageplay, and more! Some of these may relate to or even contradict character backstory, and some of them are just pure vibes for me. If you like it, consider shooting a request ;)

-So to start, I personally headcanon that Luca initiated the fight that led to the electrical accident. He’s always been hot-headed and impulsive, especially in regard to the source of his pride. I don’t think he intended for the confrontation with Alva to end anywhere near the way it did, but I do think he felt a good shove or two were well-warranted when he found out "his" ideas were being stolen. It’s when Alva fought back a little too viciously that the accident happened—and it well and truly was an accident. Not that it matters much when the only survivor doesn’t remember the event at all.

-He has headaches regularly, and terrible migraines at least once a week. He’s yet to find a way to relieve the migraines and, even worse, they are typically followed by an episode of more intense amnesia. Under normal circumstances, Luca’s memory problems are manageable. He doesn’t remember the accident, and there are massive blackouts in the memories beyond it, but on the average day he only struggles with small details of more recent events. During these post-migraine episodes, though, he completely loses all context for where he is, what he is doing, and who the people around him are. Most of the time, the important bits come back…but not always.

-Forgotten memories are also sometimes sporadically triggered by something mundane. A word, a texture, a sound, and suddenly he’s frozen stock-still in the face of a one-person cinematic viewing. By the time he turns to tell someone about it, though, the memory is gone again.

-To try to combat these issues, Luca keeps notebooks stashed everywhere. He writes down anything that might be important, as well as anything sentimental. The obvious issue with this, however, is that he doesn’t always remember where he keeps these notebooks.

-Despite his memory problems, his personality is largely in-tact. He maintains a lot of gentlemanly mannerisms and is cordial, if not outright friendly, to just about everyone he meets. Generally, he’s only “rude” in the sense that his attention tends to shift very abruptly.

-He’s the sort of person who appreciates variety. In people, food, scenery, just about everything. Part of why he gets along with so many people is because he can genuinely appreciate all manner of skillsets and hobbies. Likewise, to be a friend to him you only need to show appreciation for his work; understanding is not a requirement.

-It’s canon that he dislikes noise, but enjoys music. These might seem like clashing sentiments, but what it really comes down to is expected noise. Music can be relaxing, inspiring, rush-inducing! It holds your mind’s hand and hurries it along its thoughtful way. JUST noise is…chaotic, distracting, and sometimes startling. Plus, Luca likes being able to hum along while he works.

-It’s common to be static-zapped if you touch him. Long-term contact can even cause your hair to start standing on end. Unfortunately, it isn’t something he can control, so just be prepared to deal with it.

-The best Love Language to give Luca is Quality Time. He can honestly work with pretty much all of them, but Quality Time checks multiple boxes—especially if you’re good with parallel play. For one, he gets so busy with his work that it sometimes makes him feel guilty for neglecting the people he cares about. If you’re comfortable just hanging around his space, doing your own thing while he does his, it’s easier for him to check in with you between the erratic come-and-go of his thoughts. Those small bits of time add up, and he feels much better about his workaholic nature. Second, the more you permeate his memory, the less likely he feels he is to forget you. One of the few things he doesn’t struggle to remember is himself, his own name, and if you’re always there maybe it’ll be the same for you.

-He has trouble balancing his priorities. He often foregoes food, sleep, hygiene, and even his loved ones in favor of working on his invention. Sometimes he’s so absorbed in it that he doesn’t even understand the weight of hurtful decisions, but even when he does, he’d find it difficult to change.

-It’s also never impossible for the emotions that caused the accident to rear their head again. If someone were ever to intentionally sabotage Luca’s work or unapologetically steal his ideas, he may very well lash out with violence. Even if it were an accident, there’s no guarantee he wouldn’t be enraged.

-Luca has no idea what he’d do with himself if he ever did finish his invention. The guilt he feels for what may-have-happened is confused and warped, and he keeps it buried beneath his weighty obsession with the one thing he’s never forgotten…but if it were ever to be out of the way, Luca might be consumed by darkness.

#idv #identity v #luca balsa #idv prisoner #idv x reader #luca balsa x reader #turbulentscrawl #identity v x reader

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maochira · 9 months

Note

Hello!! Can you pls write hcs of big brother Lorenzo and child reader?

I have some ideas for that!

Requests open! - masterlist

Synopsis: Lorenzo never meant to leave you alone with your awful parent, so as soon as he gets the chance, he's trying to get you out of there.

Tags: gn!childreader, angst, hurt/comfort, Lorenzo and reader have neglecting parents, overprotective big brother!Lorenzo, Lorenzo's older brothers are mentioned a bit

Lorenzo isn't only your brother, he's basically your parent at this point. Your actual parents never take proper care of you, so Lorenzo picked up on that job quickly.

He doesn't understand why his parents even had another child. After all, there's already him and the other two older brothers who were all already teenagers when you were born. Why have another child with an age difference this big to their siblings, if your parents have never properly taken care of any of their other children either?

Your two oldest brothers don't care about you at all. They never have. They've always only waited to be old enough to move out. But Lorenzo has always felt the urge to protect you.

But then, life takes its turns and your parents kick him out, so you're now left alone at home. Your brother can't find a way to get you out of there, so he's doing what he can to survive on the streets.

Of course, you don't know what really happened. You only know the only person who ever cared for you is gone now. And then your parents also start telling you lies about him by saying Lorenzo left you behind because he doesn't care about you anymore.

But in reality, he's thinking about you all the time. He's wondering how he can earn enough money to get you out of home to give you a better life. He's almost 18 by now, so sool he could get the chance to become your legal guardian.

But living on the streets isn't easy by far. He can barely get by on his own and even finds himself on the verge of death - until Snuffy finds and saves him.

Lorenzo's first requests to Snuffy were completely selfish. He wanted money and golden teeth. So when he suddenly asked Snuffy to help him get his youngest sibling out of home, Snuffy was surprised at first. But he didn't hesitate at all to make Lorenzo's wish come true.

It took some time, but Snuffy helped Lorenzo to become your legal guardian and they got you away from your parents.

For a child like you, it's still a lot to take in, and you still get scared of Lorenzo not returning whenever he leaves all the time. You struggle with abandonment issues and you're very clingy to your brother, but he's never bothered by that. He understands why you get so scared of getting abandoned again. And honestly, he's just as afraid of losing you another time as well.

But at least now there's more than one person who cares for you. Obviously, you have a special place in Snuffy's heart and he tries to be a father figure to you. And then there are also your brother's teammates who adore you very much!

Taglist (sign-up link): @kaineedstherapy12 @luvcalico @vanitasbrainrot @deerangle3 @futuristicxie @bluelock4life @https-archangel @userwithlotsoftime @chaosinanutshell

#💟 maochira writes #bllk #blue lock #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #bllk x you #blue lock x you #don lorenzo #don lorenzo x reader #don lorenzo x you

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0rb0t · 1 year

Text

Don't mind me, just talking about Shadow as being on the autistic spectrum, and how his portrayal in the games and anime (before 2010s era) reflected this even if it was never outright stated.

(TIME FOR A CHARACTER ANALYSIS ABOUT SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG)

When I was in high school, I struggled a lot in social situations, I'd go completely stiff and just watch people. I had a "resting bitch face", I never really could have conversations and seemed to just fixate on things. I'd make observations that irritated people. I'd ask "why" a lot. (Asking why or even asking 'obvious' questions seemed to make people think I was questioning their judgment, or that I was challenging them. But no, I just didn't understand and wanted clarification. I still run into this a lot and I wish people would stop assuming I have ulterior motives. I just wanna understand stuff better cause it doesn't connect for me. Even if it seems obvious. I'm the genius that asked my mom why she was crying at her dad's funeral when I was 11. It's not that I didn't understand why Grandpa was gone, I knew he passed away, but it hadn't really landed for me, and my brain registered my mom's sadness before it registered the why.)

I didn't like small talk (still don't) and would rather every interaction have a specific purpose. You'd never catch me at a party and I didn't think drinking or drugs looked fun or interesting. The act of rebelling didn't interest me either. The few interests I did have were something I'd always go back to, and I couldn't function without them. (For me, drawing has always been a huge part of my life and if I didn't have a pencil or pen and paper, then I couldn't hear. I know, very weird. If I were doodling or just even had my sketchbook open, I could study a lot easier. In High school, my teachers started telling me to put the sketchbook away, and my grades plummeted because my attention did, too. Trying to tell them just kind of led to the same old "well everyone else can't doodle so you can't either". I wasn't in any of the special ed stuff because I guess I masked too well.)

Sonic 06 and Sonic X have the same characterization for Shadow, especially in Japanese, and I think that's honestly the best he'd ever been-- he's quiet, he's reserved, he observes and he doesn't like to "waste time". Not because he's edgy, not because he's a jerk or too serious, but because he struggles in social situations and he's more introverted. He doesn't want to be the centre of attention, he doesn't enjoy any of that. Shadow also behaves like an adult, and I'm sure a ton of us on the spectrum have heard that before, that we're very mature for our age. In reality, we can't relate with our peers and have very fixated interests that don't really expand to other things. Limited interests and we just wanna do stuff tied to that. We know so much about that one thing or those things, but those things won't get you ahead in school. Unless you're LUCKY and your fixation is math, oy vey! (My fixation was etymology. I loved learning and knowing where words came from. Useful for 2 seconds in English class, quickly loses its usefulness in a skill-oriented world.)

I don't even think he's naturally boastful, at least he wasn't since SA2 (when he was an antagonist), but Sonic brings out a competitive side in him. Sonic brings out the childhood-self that he lost to trauma and being sealed away. Shadow never got to be a normal kid/adult. He has always had expectations placed on him. I think Sonic really brings out a side of him that even surprises himself. It's why he will even say very often "What am I doing?" or "This is such a waste of time!" but he won't STOP… Because he's having fun and doesn't know how to describe his own feelings. Shadow's the type who'll say "I'm fine" no matter what state he's in when you ask if he's okay. My spouse is like this actually-- I can often tell when he's feeling down, but he doesn't know how to describe emotions beyond functional things like "i'm healthy" or "i'm unhealthy", so he'll say he's fine even if he's having a melancholy day. I struggle with understanding my emotional responses, but not necessarily identifying them. A lot of people on the spectrum do struggle with identifying their emotions beyond empirical things. "Do I feel sick? No? then I'm fine" Shadow is exactly like this. And because his expression is so neutral, sometimes intense, he gets mistaken as being angry or too serious. In reality, he's just standing there. He's not gonna expend energy smiling when he's got nothing to smile about. Why force yourself to emote for people? Especially if it feels unnatural.

Another thing about Shadow being autistic is if he's got nothing to say, then he won't say it. If he wants to leave, he'll leave. Good luck stopping him! But for many actual people it's not an option to leave. We can't just teleport out or skate at lightning speeds like he can, so we have to just sit there and do little coping or self soothing methods to keep ourselves in the moment and calm. We don't often see Shadow stimming in traditionally understood ways, like lip biting or rubbing his arms or fidgeting with his fingers-- but he often stands with his arms crossed. This CAN BE a stim. Feeling the weight of your arms on top of each other, it allows for you to be aware of your own body. I fold my arms a lot in public, because I'm usually playing with the hem of my sleeves, or I'm rubbing my arms or squeezing them. Shadow doesn't seem to do any of that but he's rarely seen without his arms folded.

When his arms aren't folded, he stands so still and just stares at people. He looks completely out of his element. He doesn't seem to have a relaxed stance--until the anime, where he's shown standing with his hand on his hip. Rouge also does this, leading to the popular headcanons that Shadow is unintentionally imitating Rouge-- his masking leads him to identify the most 'normal' person in the room and copy their behavior in order to blend in better. Unfortunately it rarely, in my experience, leads to people NOT thinking I'm weird. Sometimes I'll even start imitating speech patterns or accents and BOY. I don't even realize I'm doing it until it HAPPENS. So embarrassing. But Shadow absolutely imitates everyone around him. We can see him do this even as far back as Sonic Heroes--that scene where he's nodding or shaking his head to whatever Rouge is saying. The scene where Sonic starts getting competitive and Shadow starts kind of imitating his posture and his way of speaking to become competitive with them-- I don't even think he realizes he's doing it. But it also makes sense with his NAME.

His name is Shadow. I think of Peter Pan, where Peter's Shadow can sometimes get away from him. Usually it does everything he does, but sometimes it gets away and does its own things, and Peter has to catch it. Wendy sews the shadow back on in Hook. I think Shadow's name is referencing that as well, that just like a shadow, he mimics those around him. He's watching over them, but also copying them. Learning to blend in.

Another moment I adore is in SA2 (and Sonic X) when Amy Rose hugs him from behind. According to the 2010s era and early IDW, you'd have expected Shadow to push her away or yell DONT TOUCH ME or whatever. But no, he actually just goes REALLY RIGID and doesn't even say anything. It isn't until Amy realizes her mistake that Shadow turns around to look at her, smiling like 'What are you doing???' But in Sonic X, they changed this scene further into autistic territory--

Shadow doesn't even TURN to her. He goes rigid, yes, and his eyes widen and he just stands there looking towards the audience like 8| He's completely OUT OF HIS ELEMENT. He prepared for the mission, NOT to deal with random people HUGGING HIM. He's probably not been hugged since Maria over 50 years ago. We don't even know if Maria hugged him much because Shadow has always seemed pretty touch-averse. I love GIVING hugs and I love receiving hugs but only from people I'm REALLY close to. I don't even like getting hugs from extended family. My spouse? VERY touch averse. He'll get hugs from me but hugging and touch are just not his thing. Shadow is not a huggy person, but he does tend to hold hands.

We know he grabbed and held Maria's hand, running with her-- but we never actually saw that until Sonic X (2003) he can be seen running with her away from the military, and he's holding her hand as he leads her. In Shadow the Hedgehog, Maria often grabs Shadow's hand when telling him things. This is also a grounding method to bring the person into the moment. For me, I feel like I can focus better on what my spouse is saying to me when he holds my hand and it's crowded or busy. Even in our home, if he wants to tell me something, I recommend that he hold my hand or touch my arm so I can focus on him better. This happens with Shadow.

Sonic doesn't tend to hold peoples' hands. In Sonic X he usually just picks people up, but we do see him grab Elise's arm in 06 and run with her. But holding hands? Not really his thing! Shadow does do it more often though. In Sonic X S3, in the episode, Molly's Dream, Shadow's immediate way of leading Molly away from danger is to grab and hold her hand. He even keeps holding her hand until she lets go. It speaks to me the sort of childlike behavior he may still be exhibiting, but not that I'm trying to say that autistic people are more like children. From my experience on the spectrum, I am more childish than my peers. I still react like a kid might to things, and I don't really think like an adult is expected to. I am mentally behind my peers as well, I think my emotional maturity is lower? But it's hard to measure that without a doctor. It's not just about laughing at fart jokes or knowing to pay bills, it's like, how I problem solve is more creatively aligned with kids than it is adults. This is both great and terrible, depending on the situation. A situation that requires math and stuff cannot be solved my way. A situation that involves encouraging kids to try again or be nice to each other, well it's very useful because I can communicate with them on their level (I was a teacher in South Korea for over half a decade, my brain was great for being a teacher but not great for other things).

I think Shadow really gets misread as a mean guy a lot, but he really isn't. I also don't really enjoy the headcanons that imagine him as very outgoing and whimsical when he was on the ARK, and I especially don't like headcanons that infantilize him-- I really don't like headcanons where people infantilize autistic people. We've seen Shadow when he loses his memories a few times. In Heroes, but also in S3 of Sonic X-- his personality is still the same. He's still reserved, he's still quiet, he still struggles in social situations and prefers getting to the point rather than dilly-dallying. I'd argue that he was exactly like that before the incident on the ARK, too. It's just that the incident caused his inner peace to be destroyed. His precious person, Maria, was no longer around and he lost everything all at once. He doubled down on the one thing that made sense: Revenge. But even after all of that was sorted out, he's not gonna just magically be a different person. He's still reserved, he's still serious, he's still "get to the point". If he played FFXIV, he'd only focus on main quests, and never do side quests. He'd never spend money on cosmetics, probably. He's likely a person who values gameplay over story. If the game is broken or the mechanics aren't utilized well, that's probably more what he'd be fixated on than whether the story was good or not. He'd skip through dialogue because he reads fast, even if the dialogue is voiced (my spouse does this and it drives me nuts. SHADOW I BEG OF YOU PLEASE DO IT FOR ME, DISABLE THE VOICE ACTING IN OPTIONS SO I STOP HEARING THE FIRST UTTERANCE OF A WORD EVERY TIME U MASH THROUGH THE DIALOGUE)

Trauma affects people in all kinds of ways. I don't think all autistic people are like Shadow, because autism is a spectrum and no two people present exactly the same, although there will be similarities. Shadow's trauma happened at a time where he barely knew himself already, so that's why it was so easy for him to fixate on revenge, and then he'd be content with dying afterwards because he figured he had nothing left to live for. Finding out he was wrong was the best thing that could have happened to him.

I was really saddened when SEGA decided he was an edgelord who hated everything and had no friends because that's such a horrible read of this nuanced character. In my personal headcanons for Shadow, he's actually very into plants and flowers, because Maria loved the planet so much. And eventually he learns to love the planet because of nature. Shadow's never going to be a people person, in fact he probably still doesn't care much for people as a whole, but that doesn't mean he won't step up when they need his help. Which is why his line in Sonic 06 is still so poignant. "If the world chooses to become my enemy, then I'll fight like I always have." Basically, it really doesn't matter, I've made my choice, I know who I am now and I get to make those decisions. No one else will shake the foundations of who I am.

And because he knows who he is, he doesn't feel the need to repeat it and boast about himself. He's confident, not arrogant. He can be smug and competitive, but that's playfulness, not cruelty. He's quiet and may just straight up walk away while someone is mid-sentence, but that's not because he's evil or intentionally being a jerk-- it's just how he is. He needs to work on it if he wants to have friends, but his friends already understand him very well. They know that he's like that, and from what we saw in The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog, occasionally they forget it's not personal. I'm happy to see them admitting "oh no, I completely misjudged you, I'm so sorry!" because it's been way too long since we've heard the main cast apologize to Shadow for assuming he was a big jerk on purpose.

Knowing the restrictions on how Shadow is written have been lifted, I'm really hoping we can get more of how he's meant to be, the reserved, socially awkward but well-meaning hedgehog we love. Autistic Shadow FTW!

(our experiences and headcanons

may differ, that's okay.)

#character analysis #character meta #shadow character meta #shadow the hedgehog #long post #sonic the hedgehog #sth shadow #shadow autism moments #he's just like me fr fr #sonic headcanons #shadow headcanons

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thelampisaflashlight · 8 months

Text

Mixed Messages Pt. 3

[Swiss has thoughts. Not suitable for younger audiences. Previous part here.] Below the cut.

Growing up, Swiss knew little of his demonic nature; He knew his mother had come from somewhere far away, but, so, too, had his father in a sense, the man having abandoned one swamp for another in leaving behind the Pine Barrens and traveling south to the humid hell that is Florida.

It was not until he was much older, already having found his bearings in the musical world in his own right, that he learned the truth.

But knowing what he was did little to impact who he was... until it became clear it was something he had to hide.

The more true to yourself you can be, the freer you are, and Swiss found the burden of hiding such a big part of himself from the world akin to a prison cell.

Dating, already a nightmare, became even harder to navigate, because what would happen if he brought some girl back to his place and she found out he wasn't human?

What if they had kids and the baby came out looking like Beelzebub?

How would he explain that that was... normal?

"You looked like a perfectly normal baby." His mother had reminded him when he came to her, fretting over his identity, "Very fat though. Such a fat baby. With a very big head."

"Very reassuring, Mom."

"Hmm, you never did quite grow into it..."

"MOM-"

His father also tried to assuage his worries, but it was pretty clear he didn't quite understand what they were actually talking about, because...

"I'm just saying, it's okay if you like men. Heck, your old man-"

"Pop, I like women. I'm talking about my identity as a demon." Swiss had sighed, furrowing his brow when his father raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"Are you sure? That you don't like men?"

"I'm not gay, Pop."

"Bisexual?"

"I don't like men!"

"I didn't either, but your dad was a real babe back in the day!" his mother called from elsewhere in the house, "It was the moustache. That lovely thing is why you're here actually-"

"MOM!"

So yeah.

Not much help there.

And then he got scouted for the Ghost Project.

Honestly, that should have been where a lot of the confusion ended for him.

Finally surrounded by people who got it!

...But nobody could relate to the struggle of finding out about being a ghoul later in life, because all of them had been summoned, save for Mountain, but a dude who was alive when beekeeping was the new fun thing to do aside from churning butter and a guy who grew up in modern America have very little in common in terms of upbringing.

Still, it was better than nothing.

Mountain could fill in the blanks for him, at least to an extent.

Like how his magic worked, how to keep his tail under control, horn maintenance...

However.

"Who is that?"

There are some things Mountain could not help him with.

"That's Dewdrop."

And Dew was one of them.

Of course, there had been some resistance, on both ends, and, ultimately, Dew kept him at a distance.

At the time, Swiss wasn't sure where he stood in terms of his sexuality, and Dew...

Well, Dew had his own, figurative, demons to face.

But a small part of him still...

"You love him, don't you~?" Rain had teased while they cuddled one night, Swiss' face pressed again Rain's chest, "I see how you look at him."

Swiss had been embarrassed, perhaps even a bit ashamed to admit it, that, yes.

"...Yes, I love him." he confessed, "But I love you, too... Is that... is that weird?"

"I wouldn't say it's weird." Rain hummed, petting Swiss' hair, "It's different, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. You've got a big heart, and have a lot of love to give."

"Yeah, but, is it... Do you... Am I..."

"Honestly, I like him, too." Rain admitted, "I don't know if I love him just yet, not the way you do, but I could."

Swiss can recall lacing their fingers together while Rain spoke.

"We'll take it slow."

Well.

Well, well, well...

"What happened to taking it slow?" Swiss chuckled in Rain's ear as he cuddled closer to the reclining ghoul after Dew drifted to sleep between them, thoroughly exhausted.

"We're still taking it slow, just on an emotional level." Rain said, flicking Swiss' nose lightly, "Something tells me this..."

He trailed his hand down Swiss' arm and pressed a kiss to Dew's hair.

"This is the easy part." he sighed, "...You think he would let me dress him up?"

"Baby steps, love."

"Something nice and lacey..."

Dew glances over his shoulder at Rain as they're getting dressed after the show, hands hesitating as he gets to his pants.

He'd managed to shuck his pants and get the lower half of his uniform on before Rain had even made it to the dressing room earlier, the other ghoul having stopped by the one Swiss was sharing with Aeon before making his way over, but now there's no way to avoid him seeing.

Dew peeks at the soft lace hidden beneath the coarse fabric.

He... he hadn't been sure what to do with them after Rain let him borrow them.

You don't... you don't normally return underwear, right?

That had been his thinking when he initially took them off that night.

But, of course, it would be a shame to show them out, now wouldn't it?

They felt expensive.

And, well, if he didn't wear them, then that would be a waste of money, right?

All this to say... he hadn't packed nearly enough underwear for the trip, and while he could easily get more or risk using a hotel's laundry service the next time they stopped at one...

He just likes how they feel, okay?

They cup his junk nicely, and they breathe a lot better than his boxers do, and quite frankly they hug his ass in a way that makes his minimal behind look a bit more... plush.

He's never really cared about that sort of thing, but now that he knows this, it's become sort of a vanity thing for him.

He likes it.

The only problem is...

"Everything alright over there?" Rain asks, already tugging on his sneakers, "We have to leave for the bus soon."

"Yeah, yeah. Uh, how about you go ahead?" Dew waves him off, "I won't be long."

"I can wait." Rain says, sitting down on one of the uncomfortable folding chairs the venue tossed in the dressing room, "It's better if we walk back together anyway, that way nobody gets left behind. Buddy system, ya know?"

Dew swallows, "Yeah, sure."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"...Are you going to show me your panties or not?"

Swiss doesn't question it when Dew rushes the bus, haphazardly dressed, red in the face from thinking he'd miss it -not like they could leave without their lead guitarist- nor is he at all surprised to see Rain saunter in not but a moment later.

What he is surprised by, however, is the wadded up ball of black lace Rain casually presses into his hands as he leans in for a kiss.

"You can keep those."

Swiss lets the fabric unfold, "...Holy shit."

"I already told Dew he could borrow another pair." Rain shrugs, "I'm thinking something blue. Maybe I'll get you a matching set..."

#lamp writes #shitghosting #nameless ghouls #dewdrop ghoul #rain ghoul #swiss ghoul #swissraindrop #ghost band #the band ghost #ghost bc #ghost band fanfic #nameless ghoul shipping

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onceuponaoneshotfanfic · 8 months

Text

Something There (Chapter 6)

6.8k words

Roy Kent x Reader

Warnings: Language, mentions of sex, angst, mentions of slut-shaming, pining, angst

Author's Note: FINALLY!!!!!!!! Ahh, I had some bad writer's block and struggled for a bit there, but @agentstarkid helped get me through it! Thank you for your patience!

Series Masterlist

Most of the women Roy Kent slept with didn’t stay over. Many didn’t even try. And, in all honesty, Roy was fine with it.

Not that he’d been seeing many women lately. After he’d tackled Jamie Tartt and ended his playing career, there weren’t as many interested candidates.

But Roy wasn’t interested in it anymore either. Not since Keeley, at least. He definitely wasn’t pining over her at this point, he was very much over her, and he certainly treasured their friendship, but there was no point in denying that he couldn’t bear the thought of going back to meaningless hookups, not after what he and Keeley had.

He wanted a partner, someone to understand him, someone to share his highs and lows with, someone who’d fucking challenge him and make him a better man.

There was a brief moment, when his fingers dug into Bucky’s soft skin and his mouth explored every inch of her and she whispered his name, where Roy wondered if maybe he’d found that person.

Of course, that idea dissipated when he woke up in the morning to find himself, once again, alone in his bed. He knew better than to assume she’d gone to the bathroom or down to the kitchen for a glass of water, even before he saw her clothes gone from the bedroom floor where they’d been haphazardly discarded.

Roy frowned as he stared up at the ceiling. He hadn’t really wanted her to sleep over, did he? To have to deal with the immediate conversation regarding what had just happened and what it meant… No, it was nice to have the morning to think about things and figure out what to say. Yeah, she’d done the right thing. Honestly, she’d done the Roy Kent thing.

Despite himself, Roy stayed in bed for a bit, running the night before though his slightly pounding head. He’d had a good time, actually. And not just because of the sex. Dancing with her was surprisingly nice. He was amazed by the way they’d spoken so candidly to each other about their careers and the heartbreak they shared. They’d made each other laugh, something he didn’t think they were capable of doing together.

And yeah, the sex was kind of mind-blowing.

Finally, he made himself get up, running his hands over his tired face as he wandered down the hall, where his tie still lay on the floor. In the living room he spotted his jacket lying carelessly by the couch. He crouched down, ignoring the dull pain in his knee, and fished his cell phone out of the inside pocket.

Fuck. Why did he feel more than a little disappointed when he didn’t see her name in his messages? Fuck off, Roy. Get it together.

Instead, there were a couple of texts from Jamie (“Thanks for the dance, Coach!” “Where’d you & Coach Bucky run off to??”), and Lucas (“Take good care of her ;)”), and Keeley (“Saw you leave with Bucky. Good for you two!”). He scowled. He should’ve known that people would see them getting into a cab together; Monday would mean damage control, lots of telling people they’d just shared a cab, he’d been a gentleman and made sure she got home safe, the end. That had to be what she wanted to tell everyone, right?

He hadn’t stirred an inch as I grabbed my things and redressed, closing the door quietly behind me as I called a cab to take me home.

Waking up next to Roy Kent was not good. Not that Roy wasn’t nice; on the contrary, I wasn’t surprised to find that he was fantastic in bed and quite the gentleman after, making sure I was cleaned up and comfortable before we laid down for what was supposed to be a quick nap. But when I stirred at about four in the morning and realized where I was and whose arm was tightly wrapped around me, I knew I had to get out of there. We’d crossed a bridge that there was no going back to, and I just wanted to go home and have a private panic.

The shower I took once after I’d laid in bed for a bit did nothing to take the feeling of Roy Kent off me; it was as if his hands were still on every inch of my body. The quiet little part of me that always seemed to be thinking about him couldn’t help but savor the images floating around in my mind. The loud part, the part that wanted to be taken seriously as a successful manager, the part that knew the challenges I faced as a woman manager, prayed that no one would ever find out that I’d slept with Roy Kent.

As I was blow-drying my hair, my phone went off; the words Boss-Ass Bitch appeared on my screen.

“Hey Keels,” I groaned into the phone, scrutinizing my reflection; God, my face was tired. “Are you feeling as hungover as I am?”

“Babe…” Keeley’s voice was slow and full of uncertainty. “Think I could come over?”

In less than an hour, Keeley was sitting on my couch, looking small as I handed her a mug of coffee. She watched me carefully as I sat beside her with my own mug. Something was clearly wrong, and I was terrified to find out what it was.

She gazed down at her coffee before finally opening her mouth. “I know you went home with Roy last night,” she whispered.

My heart sank. “Fuck, Keeley.” I put my hand on her leg, horrified. “I’m so sorry. It was stupid- I should have never- I would have never if I’d known you still had feelings-”

“What?” Keeley wrinkled her nose at me. “Oh, fuck, babe not that. You can shag Roy all you want. Kind of glad you two finally did it, you’ve been so damn insufferable trying to hide how badly you both want it.”

Ignoring her mocking tone, I shook my head. “What the fuck’s wrong then?”

Sobering up, she pulled out her phone and handed it to me. “Friend of mine sent me this.”

If my heart had sunk into my stomach when I thought I’d hurt Keeley, it was practically in my shoes now. There we were, getting into a cab in front of the venue. There we were, getting out of the same cab in front of his house. There was his hand on my lower back as we went up the sidewalk. There I was walking through his front door.

“What the fuck?” I hissed, fighting the urge to throw Keeley’s phone across the room. Instead, I gingerly handed it back to her, fighting every urge I had to scream my head off. “How did this happen?” Suddenly, another question seemed more important: “Has Roy seen these?”

Keeley pocketed her phone and shook her head. “I wanted to show you first. Roy’s… used to the press being all up in his shit. Figured you needed more of a heads up.”

My head fell into my hands. If my hangover didn’t make me feel like puking, this sure as hell did the trick. As soon as these photos became public, I was done for. Never mind the trophies, the medals, the legacy of winning. All I’d be was the slut who slept with Roy fucking Kent.

“Is there anything you can do?” I breathed, unsure if Keeley could hear my muffled voice.

Her hand stroked my back, trying to offer some comfort. “I will do my very best,” she promised. “Swear to God, I’ll do my best.”

He didn’t hear from her. All weekend, Roy stared at his mobile, waiting for her name to pop up. Every time it vibrated or pinged, he felt his heart skip a beat, only for it so falter when it was his sister, or Jamie, or one of the gaffers. Even Ted shot him a quick text to ask how the gala went (and if Rebecca had a good time).

By Monday morning, the knot in his stomach was the size of the football he absently kicked as the Greyhounds made their way to the pitch. He’d only growled greetings that morning and had avoided the offices; it was going to be a miserable fucking day.

“Alright there, Coach?” Beard looked at him with concern as the fellas began stretching in the cool morning air. “Been even more silent than usual.”

Roy let out one of his dramatic sighs. It was really tempting, the idea of telling someone all the shit that’d been running through his head these twenty-four hours. Of wondering what the fuck sleeping together meant, and what her leaving without a word meant.

But talking about feelings was fucking embarrassing.

“Tired,” he finally mumbled. “Fucking gala’s exhausting.”

Beard nodded. “Saw you leaving with-”

“We shared a fucking cab.” Roy cleared his throat. “Made sure she got home safe. Managed to not bite each other’s heads off in the cab, you’d’ve been very fucking proud of us.”

“Right.”

The buzzing in Roy’s pocket had his heart skipping a beat. Of course, it wasn’t the one person he was stupidly hoping to hear from; it was Keeley.

Stop ignoring me and text me back. It’s IMPORTANT.

Roy rolled his eyes and tapped away, asking Keeley what the fuck she wanted.

Can we talk during your lunch? Privately?

“Fine, whatever,” he grumbled as he responded with a thumbs-up emoji.

He tried to focus during training, he really did. But he was a mess. He forgot the names of trick plays, he confused the guys’ positions. It was humiliating. Roy felt all wrong, and he hated that everyone- the gaffers, the players, fucking Will- could see it.

Finally, he trudged down the halls, his curiosity about what Keeley had to tell him finally piquing. He grunted absently at the people he passed, his feet carrying him towards the changing room and the coaches’ offices. When he turned into his office, his heart leapt into his throat when he saw a familiar ponytail in the Whippets’ office.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Not quite sure what he was doing, Roy poked his head through the door connecting the two offices, noting that there was no Lucas or any players to be seen. Just the two of them, all alone, just like the night of the gala.

“Hey.” Roy barely recognized his own voice; it was soft, timid, almost nervous. He fucking hated it.

Her eyes were wide when she turned away from her computer. “Oh. Hello, Coach Kent.”

Coach Kent. Not Roy.

Her expression matched the way he felt inside: tense, uncomfortable, a bit confused. Maybe even a little sad. She offered him a tight smile as she stood up.

“See you around.” Before Roy could say anything, she walked out briskly, not bothering to look at him.

Roy couldn’t help feeling monumentally disappointed as he returned to his own office, shoulders sagging. What the fuck was that? He dropped into his desk chair, brows furrowed, and leaned his elbows on his knees. He’d expected some awkwardness, sure, but not whatever the fuck that was. She’d practically run at the sight of him.

“There you are.” Keeley stood in the doorway, the woeful look on her face contrasting with the fluorescent outfit she had on. She closed the door behind her. “Can we talk?”

Roy nodded, gesturing towards Beard’s desk. “Go on then.”

Before she sat down, Keeley crossed the office and shut the other door, the one that led to the Whippets’ empty office. With a sigh, she grabbed Beard’s chair and pushed it closer to Roy. The look on her face was familiar to Roy; it was her “I don’t want to have this conversation but we have to have it” face. He saw it a lot around the time they broke up. At least that time, he knew why she was making that face; this time he was completely in the dark.

“Keels?”

The blonde took a deep breath. “Right. Well, um, a friend of mine at a tabloid, she saw these photos, and she thought we might want a heads up…”

Roy’s stomach dropped. “Photos?”

Without another word, Keeley unlocked her phone and handed it to Roy; a risky move, honestly, with Roy’s temper. Roy let out a pained growl when he saw the photographs of Bucky and himself, their faces almost happy as they walked into his house.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

“Has she seen these?”

Keeley’s face somehow grew sadder at the first words Roy was able to manage. “Showed her yesterday. Meant to show you too, but you wouldn’t answer.”

Roy nodded. It made sense now, her barely speaking a word to him. Her not calling or texting. It made sense.

After a long moment of silence, Roy stood and handed Keeley her phone. She opened her mouth to say something- probably to offer sympathy or assure him that she was going to do her best to handle things- but Roy stormed off before she could.

The cool tile floor of the dark boot room provided me a safe hiding place. After Roy had surprised me in the office, I needed a place to just breathe. Seeing his face made me feel like I was going to be sick, even sicker than the photos made me feel. He was so relaxed, so calm, as if the world wasn’t falling apart.

Probably because for him it wasn’t. I knew his reputation. I’d known it before I walked into his house and accepted his whiskey and fell into his bed. For him this was normal, part of being a famous athlete whose life was a public string of one-night stands. It didn’t impact his career, didn’t have people judging him or calling him crude things. It didn’t diminish his legacy.

Could I say the same for myself?

Just as I was starting to get my breathing under control and beginning to feel like I could face people again, the boot room door slammed open.

Of fucking course it was Roy Kent.

His wide eyes blinked several times to adjust to the dark room. When he spotted my curled-up figure leaning against the wall, he closed the door quietly behind him and took a step into the room. With a groan and a crack coming from his knee, he joined me on the floor, like he had in that little shed at the team retreat. Even in the dark, I could see the deep frown etched into his face.

“I am so fucking sorry.” His voice was a quiet rasp. “So, so fucking sorry.” He reached out and touched my hand, somehow looking sadder when I flinched at his touch. “Keeley just told me.”

Oh. That was why he’d been so calm.

He went on. “I… I really don’t know what the fuck to say.” He threw his head back, leaning against the wall. “I don’t know what happened. But Keeley- I- we’ll handle it. We’ll fucking handle it.”

With a sigh, I shook my head. “It’s my own fault,” I whispered. “I made a choice without thinking about the fucking consequences.”

“It’s not your fault.” Roy’s voice was firm. “It’s the fucking press. Fucking vultures,” he spat. His voice turned thoughtful. “Why don’t we get together after work and-”

My pained, hollow laugh stopped him midsentence. “Come on, Roy. I can’t be seen with you. I shouldn’t even be in a dark boot room with you. There’s none of this ‘we’. There can’t be.”

I swore I heard him barely breathe my name in a strangled voice.

“I can’t,” I repeated, softer now. My stomach was in absolute knots; I wasn’t planning on doing this. Not in the fucking boot room, at least. “Roy, I just… I need my face in the papers for being a winning coach, not sleeping with one. And- and, I mean it was great, you were great. But let’s be honest. We both know it was just another one of your flings.” I cleared my throat, face on fire. “And that’s totally your prerogative. I knew what I was getting into. I’m a big girl. Do what you want. Do who you want. You’re a legend here. You can sleep with all the women you want, and they’ll look at you like you’re a fucking god. But me… I mean, if people found out I slept with a coworker…”

“Things are different for you,” he sighed. For once, there wasn’t a hint of venom when he repeated the fact that I so often reminded him of. Instead, there was nothing but sadness. Disappointment. Misery. “No. Yeah. Fuck, I get it.” He looked at me as best he could in the darkness. “You gonna be alright?”

I shrugged. “I have to be, don’t I?”

He nodded. “Guess you do.” His hand twitched, as though he was debating reaching out again. It remained where it was. “Keeley’s got this,” he assured me. “She’s brilliant. And… I’ve got your back. No matter what.” His smile was so sad I swore I could hear my heart crack. “We’re Richmond til we die, alright?”

“Thanks, Kent.”

With that, I stood and walked over to the door, leaving Roy Kent alone on the boot room floor.

Roy sighed and took another sip of his coffee, watching Jamie do burpees, for once taking no pleasure in his former teammate’s ragged breathing and pained expression. For a week now, Bucky had kept true to her word and avoided being around Roy as much as possible. No fighting or screaming, no civility and politeness, and sure as hell no flirting, which he had kind of hoped there would be before these stupid photos. He felt like a fucking ghost as he walked down the halls of Nelson Road.

He glanced at his watch. “Alright, you’re done,” he barked, pulling a water bottle out of Jamie’s backpack that sat on the bench beside him. He handed it to Jamie as he jogged over to Roy.

“Alright, Roy?” He cocked his head. “That was only one hundred and ninety-two. Thought I needed to do two hundred.” When Roy only grunted, Jamie continued. “You’ve looked real distracted lately, mate. Come on. Tell ol’ Jamie what’s up.”

For a moment, Roy just stared at Jamie. This shit had been really eating at him ever since Keeley showed him the pictures… no, since he woke up and found himself alone in his bed and, for once, wishing he wasn’t. He didn’t want to tell Keeley about this, she felt stressed enough about the photos; she didn’t need to also have the weight of Roy’s woes on her shoulders as well. No way could he go to Rebecca, she’d kill him for ruining all the civility they’d finally managed. Beard and Nate didn’t need to be roped into more of their bullshit, they’d been through enough since the Whippets’ arrival. Ted was too far away, and even if Roy could be bothered to call him about this, he didn’t feel like hearing some nonsense story about a childhood friend in Kansas that was only vaguely related to Roy’s problem. His sister would probably roll her eyes and make some comment about him needing to not shit where he ate. Even Doctor Sharon felt like the wrong person to talk to.

That really only left one prickish person for Roy to confide in.

With a grumble, Roy gestured for Jamie to join him on the bench. Once the men were side by side, Roy leaned back, finger tracing the lid of his coffee. “I… the night of the gala… I…”

“Is this about Coach Buck?”

Unable to bring himself to look at Jamie, Roy nodded. “Yeah. Yeah.” He took another sip of his coffee, as if the caffeine would somehow calm him down. “I fucking slept with her.”

There. He said it. It was out there, spilled like that bottle of ink Phoebe had dropped on his carpet last week. A big, dark stain hanging in the air between the two Greyhounds.

“Yeah?”

Roy frowned. Jamie didn’t seem shocked at all; if anything, his furrowed brows told Roy that Jamie wasn’t sure what the fuss was all about. “Yeah. I slept with her.” Good, Roy. Say it again. That’ll make Tartt lose that permanent confused expression.

Jamie shrugged. “I mean, obviously. You’ve been sleeping together since, what, the charity game, right? When she gave you some of the money for the doctors and shit?”

“What the fuck?” Now Roy got to be the one with the furrowed brows, accompanied by a mouth gaped in surprise. “No, you twat. Just the one time after the gala.”

It was a good thing the early morning was so dark, because the sight of two football legends gawking at one another on a bench would have drawn most people’s attention. And Roy definitely didn’t need more photos of him floating around.

“But…” Jamie shook his head. “You two’ve been almost nice to each other since the game. Figured you were shagging the entire time.”

Roy’s face twisted in disgust. This was who he chose to confide in? Not for the first time, Roy found himself regretting the fact that his two best friends were his eight-year-old niece and… Jamie Tartt.

Apparently not recognizing the dangerous look on Roy’s face, Jamie pressed on. “So, what’s the problem? You got to shag a beautiful woman who’s like a girl version of you, except much nicer. Shouldn’t you be like bouncing off the walls with excitement or some shit? You’re together now, right?”

A lump formed in Roy’s throat. Fuck. “No,” he finally mumbled. “She… I… We’re keeping our distance.”

Jamie didn’t need to know that she’d broken Roy’s heart. Roy could barely admit it to himself.

“But why?” Jamie looked like a kid whose parents just told him the tooth fairy wasn’t real, with his wide eyes and pouty lips. “You’re soulmates or some shit. Like Kermit and Miss Piggy.”

Roy felt weirdly grateful for Jamie’s idiocy; feeling annoyed was a nice change of pace from everything else he’d been feeling lately.

“Some fucking papp caught us going into my house,” he muttered, staring down at his coffee cup. “And she… I think she got scared. All this stuff about her being a woman coach and her reputation. Asked me to stay away from her.” He shrugged. “So I am.”

Jamie had never looked so serious in the entire time Roy had known him. “Fuck.”

Roy nodded solemnly. “Yeah.”

It was a quiet week after that conversation in the boot room. Very quiet. I did my best to ignore the dull stabbing feeling in my chest that appeared every time I thought of those photos, or saw Roy in passing, or even just heard someone say his name. Instead, I focused all my energy on the Whippets. They continued to impress everyone, including myself. They had performed spectacularly so far in the season; even the small handful of losses we suffered were close, exciting games that came down to only one or two goals.

After a particularly grueling practice, Luke and I made our way out of the Dog Track, debating where to get dinner from before settling at my place for an episode of Lust Conquers All. Just as he almost had me convinced that pizza for three days in a row was not childish, I heard a familiar voice call my name. My pulse quickened as I turned around.

“Hi, George!”

George Willows offered me a boyish grin as he approached, hands in his pockets, head slightly dipped. All charm and ease. “How’s it going, Coach?” He gave Lucas a small nod of acknowledgement before turning his attention back to me. “Whippets are looking great.”

My face warmed at his praise. Or his smile. Maybe both. “They’re a great group of players,” I murmured. “We’re lucky to be their managers.”

Luke threw an arm around my shoulders. “She’s being modest. Which she usually never is,” he added pointedly. “She’s a brilliant coach.”

“Oh, I know.” George kicked the pavement beneath his feet. “Your success should be celebrated. Like maybe with dinner tomorrow night?”

Something caught in my throat. George Willows was asking me out. A nice, handsome man with a normal job and no reputation for getting his picture in the tabloids. Dinner would be lovely. He’d hold my hand and pull out my chair for me. He’d insist on paying for dinner and walking me to my door. He’d probably even ask before kissing me goodnight. There’d be no arguing, no trying to one-up each other, and absolutely no awkwardness.

This was what I wanted- right?

Before I could figure out why the hell George’s offer had me more confused and anxious than thrilled, Lucas spoke for me. “She’s love to,” he assured George, digging his fingers into me. “Wouldn’t ya, Buck?”

Shit. Say something.

“That sounds great!” I finally blurted out. His relieved smile had my shoulders relaxing. “Let’s say six tomorrow? Gives me time to shower and change after training.”

George nodded earnestly, eager as a schoolboy. “Perfect. Text me your address, I’ll pick you up.”

We said our goodbyes, my face feeling noticeably warm, before Lucas and I began our walk home. My eyes stayed fixated on the sidewalk the entire time, not sure what to say to Lucas, and even more unsure why there was a knot in my stomach along with the butterflies George and our date gave me.

“Alright, what gives?” Lucas finally demanded as we settled on the couch with our pizza. “You’ve been drooling over George Willows pretty much since we got to Richmond. Why don’t you look over the moon about your date?”

For a moment, I just stared at my pizza, as if the pepperoni and extra cheese would be able to explain what was up, and I wouldn’t have to say a word. Finally, I realized I had to tell Lucas the one thing I’d planned on taking to my grave.

“I slept with Roy fucking Kent,” I groaned, slouching into the couch and refusing to look at Lucas. “The night of the fucking gala. He invited me in for a drink, we got to talking, and we… you know.”

“Oh shit.”

When I looked at Lucas, his mouth was wide open, and his eyes were fixed on my face. No hint of teasing, laughter, jokes. No lewd comments or “I told you so”.

But only for a moment.

“I mean,” he finally said, “I’m mostly surprised it took so long, honestly. You’ve looked like you’ve wanted to rip each other’s clothes off since the day we arrived.” He cocked his head at me. “Is that why you were hesitant about George? You and Kent are starting something up? Because if I’d known, I never would have-”

“We’re not starting something,” I insisted. “It was a onetime thing. Believe me.” Realizing I wasn’t going to touch my food, I set my plate down on the coffee table. “And there’s more. There’s… pictures.”

In an instant, Lucas was on his feet, fists clenched. “Did he take photos of you?” In all the years I’d known him, I’d never seen such rage on his normally friendly face.

“What? Oh, fuck no.” I tugged him back down to the couch, amused and touched by his fiery reaction. “But good to know you’d kick his ass if he did,” I mused. “Some fucking photographer caught us getting into a cab and then getting out at his place,” I explained quickly. “They haven’t been published yet but… I’d rather play it safe.” I shrugged. “I mean, not like we were going to become boyfriend-girlfriend or some shit, right? So, just gotta keep a low profile, stay away from each other, and hope the whole thing goes away.”

“Hmm.” Lucas leaned his head on my shoulder. “Gotta admit, kinda wanted to see you two become Richmond’s hot power couple.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, no. He’s probably already had like three more women in that bed since the gala. It meant nothing to him.” I cleared my throat. “Nothing to me either,” I quickly added. “It was fun, had a good time, but back to business as usual.” I took out my phone and pulled up my text thread with George, already filled with texts between us; not like Roy Kent, who I had zero messages with. “So, I am just going to go on a nice date with a nice man and have a nice time,” I announced, typing my address and telling George I was looking forward to dinner.

“You sure you’re not hung up on this Roy Kent shit?” Lucas asked quietly.

My phone pinged, alerting me to the smiley face George immediately responded with. “Absolutely not.”

The following day flew by in a blur of soccer and workouts and knowing grins from Lucas. Once I’d assured him that I was not hung up on Roy Kent and that I was very interested in George Willows, he was back on board with the whole date thing. He even came over to help me look at outfits, leaving just before six. As I picked out a pair of earrings that would look nice with my black dress, I kept an eye on my phone, figuring George would text to let me know he was outside so I could head on down.

The sound of knocking made me jump. Oh. He’d come to my door to pick me up. I tried to remember the last time that happened; to be fair, I hadn’t even been on a real date since arriving in England.

I put on my earrings as I scurried to the door, feeling my shoulders relax at the sight of George and the bouquet of roses he held.

“Hi,” I breathed, amazed at how comfortable I felt despite the butterflies in my stomach.

“You look beautiful,” was his greeting as he handed me the flowers. “Ready to go?”

I let him hold my hand as we walked down to his car, where he held open the door for me. The conversation during the drive was sparse; just general little chitchat, nothing too complicated. It was nice, easy, mindless. And I liked the way it made me feel.

At the restaurant I felt myself relax even more. George asked me questions about my childhood, my time playing for the U.S. National team, my friendship with Lucas. He was earnest and engaged and interested in every little thing I had to say.

“This is all off the record, right George?” I asked with a smirk over my glass of wine.

“In that case, let me just go ahead and let my editor know I’m canceling my exposé on you,” he teased with a wink, crowding my stomach with more butterflies. He took a bite of his food, watching me carefully. “Glad to know you’re enjoying Richmond. Fucking Kent must be a headache to work with, though.”

My chest tightened, and I was sure George could see my expression completely change. Why did I feel so bothered by his sudden sour tone? He wasn’t exactly wrong; when I first arrived, Roy Kent was fucking headache. We did nothing but argue all the damn time. At best, we’d really only ever been civil. But still…

“Let’s not talk about Roy,” I murmured, fiddling with my fork. “I know you two have this weird thing but… He… We work together, you know? We try to keep things professional.” I cleared my throat, not quite looking at George. “And his Greyhounds have been great to my Whippets since we arrived. So, yeah. Can we not?”

“Hey.” He reached out and touched my free hand. “Sorry. Just, the couple of times I’ve seen you two together, he’s been quite rude to you. But you’re right, the two of you are colleagues. I really respect your professionalism.”

His reassuring smile had me offering a small grin of my own, especially when I looked down at his hand on top of mine. God, it felt so natural, holding hands with George Willows. Just so easy and lovely. I could get used to this, I thought as he gave my hand a squeeze.

I also felt like I could get used to the way he looked at me as we stood in front of my door, with soft eyes and a shy smile. Ask me out again, I mentally implored. Tell me you had a good time and you want to see me again.

He leaned close, eyes flickering to my red lips. “Thanks for a great date,” he murmured, bringing up one hand to cup my face. “Would it be too forward if I…?” He trailed off with raised eyebrows.

My heart fluttered as I closed my eyes and leaned forward to give him his answer. I could feel his smile against my lips and knew he could feel one of my own. It was a small, chaste kiss, one filled with giddiness and anticipation, as if it was just the start of something.

George’s hand lingered on my cheek even after we broke the kiss. “Think we could do this again sometime?”

“Absolutely.” I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his again. “Good night, George.”

“Good night.”

Once my door was closed behind me, I fell to the couch, a content sigh escaping my lips. My first date in goodness knows how long. And it was lovely. Easy, even. And George was wonderful and an absolute gentleman. And the sweet kiss at my front door was something out of a Hallmark movie.

So why the fuck did I fall asleep thinking about Roy Kent and the bottle of scotch we shared?

For two more weeks, Roy stayed away. Two. Miserable. Weeks.

He went through the motions. Trained with Jamie. Worked with the Greyhounds at Nelson Road. Hung out with Phoebe. Coached the girls’ football team. Read. Went to yoga.

And the whole time, he thought about her.

They’d glance at each other in the halls, stand on opposite sides of the room when their teams or coaching staffs were together, and both seemed to look a bit sadder at the sound of each other’s voice. Roy’s only consolation was that she looked almost as melancholy as he did.

Almost.

Every now and then, he’d allow himself to glance at her through the shared window between their offices. And sometimes, he’d see her look at her mobile and smile, a little giddy grin that reminded him of the way she’d looked at him the night of the gala and made his heart twist like the braids he sometimes did for Phoebe.

He was thinking of that smile when he sat with Jamie in some pub, silently staring at the pint in front of him as Jamie went on and on about how proud he was of Sam for perfecting a play they’d spent so much of training working on.

“Roy? Roy? ’re you listening?”

Roy gave his head a shake, clearing his throat. “Fuck’d you say?”

Jamie’s pout was full of pity; Roy wanted to punch that look off his fucking face. “Thinkin’ about her, huh?”

Like there was any point in lying. “Just… I dunno. Feel like everything’s so fucked, ya know?” Roy sighed. “Don’t really know what to do.”

“Why don’t you ask her out?”

Roy stared at Jamie for a moment. “Have you paid attention to anything I’ve told you over the last couple of weeks? Or are you actually as stupid as you look?”

“Come on.” Jamie shrugged. “You two never really talked about what happened. Sounds like she thinks it was just a one-night stand. So, ask her on a proper date. Wine an’ dine her! Woo her!” He sipped his pint, savoring the treat his coach’s wallowing had afforded him. “Show her you care about her, for fuck’s sake. Make all this shit worth it. Plus, then if the photos do come out, it’s not a big deal. You’d be a couple, not just some fling. That’s a lot harder to make a scandal out of.”

Fuck. Sometimes, by some miracle worthy of being written by Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John, Jamie Tartt had a good fucking idea.

Of course. Roy’d been so stupid, letting her linger on this idea that that night didn’t mean something to him. Of course, it meant something to him. Hell, it could even mean everything to him if he let his mind wander to those places he’d been avoiding since they first met.

He’d ask her out. He’d take her on a proper date. He’d tell her how he felt. He’d admit to himself how he felt.

Roy Kent might actually get a happy ending for once in his miserable life.

He walked into Nelson Road feeling lighter than he had in a while. During training he was shockingly affable, joking with his team and offering more praise than usual. He even ignored the smug glances Jamie kept shooting him and the wink the striker offered Roy as the Greyhounds hit the showers after a long, long day.

The Whippets were already finished for the day, so, with the Dog Track quiet and nearly empty, he stuck his head into their coaching office, where Bucky was alone, poring over her playbook. With a deep breath, he softly rapped on the wall.

When she glanced over her shoulder, she actually offered him a smile.

“Hiya, Coach,” she greeted with a polite nod. No coldness, no anger, no awkwardness. It wasn’t the enthusiastic welcome he’d hoped for, but it was definitely an improvement.

Roy cleared his throat. “How’re you?”

With a shrug, she closed her book and turned her chair around to face him. “Fine. Yourself?”

“Yeah. Good, good.” He knocked his fists together absently. “Listen, I was wondering if we could talk? I wanted to know-”

The buzzing of her phone interrupted him. “One sec.” She glanced at the screen; there was smile again. “I’ve gotta go.” She stood, tugging her bag over her shoulder. “But, um, maybe we could chat tomorrow? After our run? I’ve gotta catch up on Lust Conquers All.”

Roy’s heart fucking soared. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” was her soft answer as she took a couple steps closer to the door, closer to Roy. “I mean, it’s been a couple of weeks, and nothing’s been published. I think we can risk running in our own weight room, don’t you?”

“Yes. Yeah. Definitely.” For once, Roy didn’t give a shit if he sounded dumb. “We’ll chat tomorrow then.”

She nodded as she passed by him, still grinning. “Good night, Coach.”

“G’night,” he called after her, smiling at her receding figure.

Fuck yes.

Roy returned to his desk, resisting the urge to whistle as he answered a couple of emails and looked over some new plays Nate had left for him. He felt so damn good as he left the Dog Track that he decided to treat himself to a pint, maybe plan how to ask her out.

I really enjoyed having a drink together. Think we could do that again sometime?

Could I take you out to dinner?

Bucky. I really fucking like you. I’d like to take you out. On a real date.

He parked his car and strolled down the sidewalk, words flittering in and out of his head. With a spring in his limp, he nodded in acknowledgement to the people who smiled at him, as opposed to his usual scowl-and-growl. When he turned the corner to head to the pub he had in mind, he stopped dead in his tracks.

She was right there. Sitting at a little patio table of some restaurant, staring in the opposite direction with a lovely, wistful expression, all alone.

Roy perked up. He should go say hi. Maybe he didn’t have to wait until after their run for that chat. He could walk up to her right now and just blurt it out. Fuck waiting. He’d done enough of that. Could I take you on a date sometime? She was probably with Lucas, who wouldn’t mind if Roy stole her away…

As he took a step in her direction, his stupid heart sank.

Because the universe had a personal grudge against Roy Kent, he had to watch as George fucking Willows walked outside holding two glasses. He stopped at that table, where he bent down and kissed her cheek as he sat beside her. She smiled- that same giddy smile- and leaned close to speak to him. The two of them laughed and shared a kiss, looking like the picture of absolute bliss.

Feeling like the biggest idiot in the world, Roy turned on his heel and speed-walked back towards his car. Fucking idiot. Stupid, fucking Roy.

His phone buzzed. With a groan, he pulled it out, figuring it was his sister needing emergency baby-sitting, or Jamie sending him some stupid meme.

Instead, it was a message from Rebecca with a picture attached.

My office. First thing tomorrow.

We need to talk.

Taglist: @optimisticsandwichgladiator@reading-blogs@callmecasey81@ladygrey03@puckyou-forpuckssake@royalestrellas@shineforever19 @rae4725 @burnafter-reading @her-fandom-sanctum @infinetlyforgotten@giggling-sewer-ginger@whataloadofmalarkey@agentstarkid@kingleahhh@tortilla-maria1@geekgirl1996 @amatswimming @meg-ro@spicyraccoonlordking@spaghetti-dad187@needlesthreadandbuttons@elissaaa @imsoluckyeverythingworksoutforme @reverieisaway@djskakakaksjsj-blog@thatonedogwithablog@allthetroubleiveseen@sunderland-6 @netflix-addict @paranormal-is-my-life@jill2629-blog@itsbuzzfeedbitch@pretzelactivist@amieinghigh@kashee-h@beingalive1@mythicalbinicorn@needyomega@kno-way-home@janalustare@sssatorus@its-a-rich-mans-world@confessionsofatotaldramaslut@hesitant-alien33@katie-sheep-111 @bonesbonesetc @seacactusplant@thebookwormlife @dreamscape22 @rae4725 @timelordhunterandmysterysolver @littleesilvia @anonurs @itswhateveripromise

#roy kent something there #he's here he's there he's every fucking where #roy kent #roy kent x reader #roy kent fanfic #roy kent fic #roy kent fanfiction #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso fic

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disgurrr · 2 months

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Same Anon from earlier! That is fair, he isn't all that flawed. But it still makes me wonder why you'd still want it to work out with them if Katniss was right to react to Peeta's hijacking the way she did? If she is so hurt (and I agree that she was, a lot) and because of that she was right to lash out at Peeta because of it, I would think that would not mean anything good for their relationship going forward. Either Peeta IS responsible for what he does when hijacked and Katniss is justified and doesn't deserves to have it held against her, or he isn't and Katniss was being unfair and overly harsh. It can't be both just because of how severe what actually happened. He either is the one who did all those things and deserved her venom or isn't. At least, this is how I see it and why I do firmly see it as something Peeta should be held responsable for. Again, I am not hating your thoughts I just want to understand, is all. Please point out how I am wrong if I am.

Do I think Peeta should be held responsible for what he did while being hijacked? No. His reality is beyond his control. The only people who should be held responsible are the capitol and the people who did this to him. But accepting that what he did was real, that he did this, is so important. Katniss struggles with accepting that Peeta has changed. She says that it's not Peeta, but some capitol mutt. And that's harsh, and something she should have never said. But what Peeta did to her, and all of the things he tells her is real, and it hurts Katniss. And what I mean by real, is that it is HIM doing it, not someone else. So, it's for sure not an easy problem to solve. Katniss could've handled it better, but she honestly did the best she could. But nevertheless, yes she was being unfair and too harsh. She's not a mature adult, she has no support system. And Peetas recovery goal in 13 is too Katniss-centered, it should’ve been about him and his issues, lol the adults around them failed them.

I think their love for each other, and actively working on their issues and recovery, is why they were able to move past all this. It’s why I root for them; because end of the day, they just want each other, they want to love each other. They deserve the world, thus each other.

Thank you for your comment!

#everlark #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #katniss and peeta #mockingjay #thg

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tortured-demigods-department · 3 months

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an unhinged (and unofficial) dissertation on the pjo fandom

so i don't usually post anything that isn't my-works-related, but i had a...mildly heated discussion with a fellow film student tonight about the pjo show and it's got me thinking. bear with me, we'll be here awhile.

as we all know, the first season of pjo has ended. i've stayed relatively OFF tumblr and other social media during this time, but i know there are a lot of OG fans who are (in their words) "massively disappointed" in the show. most of the complaints i've heard have been during in person conversations though, so this post is mostly going to be referencing real complaints i've heard.

i've been a part of this fandom since i was thirteen. that's nearly eight fucking years of my life that i've devoted to the pjo universe. i have written and consumed YEARS' worth of fanfiction, i have read and reread every book so many times i can quote them forwards and backwards, and i went to the bookstore every single year on the new books' release dates to pick up my copies in-person. this fandom, these characters and this world have brought so much joy to my life, and i don't think i could ever fully articulate that in words. when i think of this series, i genuinely feel nothing but happiness.

but a few years ago—around the time i started college—i started distancing myself from the fandom for one glaring reason. this fandom can be such an...angry place? like, genuinely, i don't know how far it goes back—maybe all the way to the release of HoA, honestly—but i wasn't here pre-HoA, so all i know is that i very much remember how much people hated ToA when it came out.

here i was, having the TIME of my life with apollo and his silly little haikus, and people are going to war over how the series' writing quality has gone to shit and how everything was better before, blah, blah, blah. IN SPITE of everything that series gave us—discussion of the repercussions of child abuse and ptsd, representation of lgbtqa+ characters, and deep psychological messages that really teach young readers, i think, how to better understand themselves and their emotions and deal with them in healthy ways. and it just wasn't fun to be in a fandom where, as soon as you go "hey, did you read the new book?" they scoff and roll their eyes and only want to talk about how terrible it is. (i also missed all the discourse on the sun and the star when it came out—PHENOMENAL read, btw—but i've read some things that lead me to believe that it wasn't well received either, in spite of how lovely it was.)

so...it's dramatic to say i "left" the fandom, but i certainly withdrew from it. deleted my pjo ao3 and tumblr, started over with a different fandom. but the love has always been there, and the show starting really helped spark it fully back to life.

but now, the same thing is happening again, i'm noticing. remember back in the day, when we only had the shitty fucking movies, and we were like "man, ANYTHING would be better than this garbage. literally just give us actors who are the right age and we'll be happy." well, now we have PHENOMENAL kid actors who genuinely are having a good time playing our beloved characters, and instead of supporting them, we're STILL complaining about them not being "portrayed correctly"?

i've talked to so many people who complain that percy is "too smart," which is kind of a bullshit insult to percy's canon character. in the books (at least the first five) we're seeing things ONLY from percy's pov. he's a kid who's struggled with learning disabilities and been told he's an idiot all his life by everyone except his mom—but as others have pointed out way more eloquently than i could, percy is a very intelligent and powerful individual while maintaining his goofy fun personality, which is WHY so many people love him so much. he's complex, and i think they managed to capture that really well in the show even amidst all the changes.

don't get me started on the fucking racism towards leah sava jeffries—i'm honest to gods ashamed that there are racists who call themselves pjo fans. she is so talented, and everything we ever could have hoped for in an on-screen annabeth. ALL of the kids are—there's literally no argument to be had there.

and then, if people aren't complaining about the casting, it's the series' writing. or there's too much exposition. rick is changing too many things. the directors don't know what they're doing. it's not a TRUE book adaptation. (someone said that to me, and i genuinely laughed because i thought they were joking. when the MOVIES exist, they wanted to make that comment about the show.)

are there some things i would change about the show, given the opportunity? god, yes. the set design for the underworld was horrendous. (in my opinion, of course.) but here's the thing. i have spent eight years of my life waiting for this show to happen, and in that time, i've learned a lot about how much goes into successfully producing such a complex series. how much money and time is spent, and how many people have to be on board to make it happen. it's genuinely kind of miraculous that we're even getting this show at all, considering all the ways it could have failed before it even made it out of pre-production.

and i think we, as fans, sometimes forget that we aren't owed this. we don't own the percy jackson franchise. it makes me so sick and tired when authors or artists in any capacity feel like they have to cater their works to the masses, because they know they'll get thrown into the fucking fire if they don't. rick and becky riordan didn't have to got to the trouble of producing this show for us. they chose to—everyone involved chose to—because they wanted to make something fun and enjoyable not only for the fans, but everyone who chose to be a part of it.

do you know how insane it is that, when you read pretty much any interview of pjo bts, everyone talks about how fun the production was? i've been on film sets. they can be ABSOLUTELY miserable when they're not done right. but eight months into production, the kids were still laughing and having a good time, everyone's still giving 100%, they're excited, it's fun. walker was willing to go into a diving tank for a full fucking day in order to get one scene—i know i would never have that kind of dedication, and i bet 99% of you wouldn't either.

i know this has gotten really long-winded, but i've said all of that to say that...i'm kind of tired of fans trying to bring down the show, and more than that, trying to bring down each other for having a good time. as i've said before (many times, i'm sure), i waited eight years for this, and i have had SUCH a fun time watching it. assuming we get a season 2 renewal, there are going to be even more new fans coming in than we've already gotten from season 1, and i want this fandom to be a fun and positive place for them. for all of us. we don't have to miserable and angry all time. we can critique the show, sure—it's not perfect, and it was never going to be—but we have to remember that television is an art form, and that art is subjective even when it involves our favorite characters. and we can accept that and still have a good time, because it's just more fun to have fun, you know?

this fandom has always had so much potential to be the BIGGEST, most supportive and kind and loving fandom. with how much representation this series has, with how much content we've been given, with the SHEER massive number of us...i've always thought we could be a really, really great community. maybe it's impossible to hope that we could be the best fandom on earth, but if nothing else...could we all try to just be a little bit kinder? genuinely, as cheesy as it may sound...it's just nicer when we're nice to each other. and when there's so many real things in the world to be mad about...i would much rather this be a place where we can come to at the end of a long day and just...feel at home. personally, i just think that would be really, really nice.

#percy jackson #percy series #percy jackson tv show #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson fandom #heroes of olympus #trials of apollo #pjo show #pjo fandom #pjo series #me ranting for five million years #i wish i could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...#she doesn't even go here #with all of that said i'm going to bed #i have class at 8am tomorrow and really should NOT have spent this much of my night writing this

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