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#(I DON'T WANT TO BE LEFT OUT OF THE PODCAST'S FANDOM BECAUSE I LOVE THE ORIGINAL)
somelazyassartist · 1 year
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What do I have to do to never see graphic novel Taako ever again (/nbh)
#THAT FUCKER MAKES ME SO GODDAMN UNCOMFORTABLE I CAN'T STAND HIS FACE#I HAVE SO MANY TAGS BLOCKED TO TRY TO AVOID HIM BUT I STILL SEE HIM CONSTANTLY#NOT THE FAULT OF ANYONE HERE AND I GUESS IT'S UNAVOIDABLE WITHOUT LEAVING THE FANBASE ALTOGETHER#BUT HE MAKES MY FUCKING SKIN CRAWL I CAN'T STAND LOOKING AT HIM#ESPECIALLY AFTER GETTING 'THE ADVENTURE ZINE' AND HOW CAREY USED TO DRAW TAAKO#LIKE. THEIR OLD DESIGN FOR TAAKO WAS BORING BUT THE GN VERSION IS SO MUCH WORSE NOW#BECAUSE SHE LIKE. ACTIVELY CHOSE TO GIVE HIM VISUAL TRAITS THAT ARE VERY SIMILAR TO CERTAIN ANTISEMITIC CARICATURES#(WHETHER SHE KNEW THEY WERE TRAITS OF THOSE CARICATURES OR NOT DOESN'T REALLY CHANGE THE FINAL PRODUCT)#ESPECIALLY SEEING THAT SHE USED TO DRAW TAAKO IN A COMPLETELY NORMAL WAY#AND THE LOOKS PAIRED WITH HOW THEY CHANGED HIM TO BE SO MUCH CRUELLER AND GREEDIER IN THE GRAPHIC NOVEL....#LIKE. CAN YOU UNDERSTAND WHY HE GIVES ME THE FUCKING CREEPS#I CAN'T STAND LOOKING AT HIM I ONLY EVER ACTIVELY LOOK AT HIM WHEN DIRECTLY TALKING ABOUT HIM#I DON'T EVEN DISPLAY MY COPIES OF THE BOOKS. I ACTIVELY COVER THEM UP BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND LOOKING AT HIM#OUGHGHGGGHHHHH AGAIN THIS ISN'T DIRECTED AT ANYONE IN PARTICULAR#HE JUST MAKES ME FEEL SICK TO LOOK AT AND I SEE HIM CONSTANTLY DESPITE HAVING EVERY TAG I CAN THINK OF BLOCKED#(EXCLUDING TAGS THAT INVOLVE THE ORIGINAL SERIES. IT'S SPECIFICALLY THE GN THAT BOTHERS ME)#(I DON'T WANT TO BE LEFT OUT OF THE PODCAST'S FANDOM BECAUSE I LOVE THE ORIGINAL)#(BUT THE GRAPHIC NOVELS OFTEN DON'T GET TAGGED WITH SEPARATE TAGS SO IT'S HARD TO FILTER OUT JUST THE COMICS)#(AGAIN LIKE. THIS MIGHT BE JUST ME AND I'M NOT TRYING TO VAGUE ANYONE BUT JUST. UGHGHHGHHGHHHHH HE MAKES ME SO UNCOMFORTABLE)#vent
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olderthannetfic · 1 year
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i was listening to the fanficmaverick podcast episode you did on fanfiction history, in which you mentioned (~55 min in) that you were one of the main people writing the terms of service for AO3 and bringing up the types of "would this be allowed" test cases, that these were not "oh it's a slightly problematic kink" but "violent snuff porn of gillian anderson, not scully, but gillian anderson" — and that you all eventually landed on "kinda gross, but legal in the US, and therefore would host." question: was this the most contentious case? any other memorable/notable test cases, or other interesting discussions you can remember?
i'd also love to hear more about how the major archive warnings were decided on — on what basis were these chosen? which others were considered? — if you happen to know!
sincerest thank you for all the work you've done for fandom and the preservation of fandom history. ❤️ seriously, such a feat, and so interesting!
--
I think even then my personal level of wallowing in annoying wank or looking at horrifying fic was vastly higher than everyone else's, so this was pretty much the example we looked at.
Though, if you want to laugh, astolat's original post is still up on LJ with the comments, and there were totally people going "I'd be interested in this new archive project, but not if it includes RPF!" or "Not if it includes any underage fic at all!" etc.
--
On usenet in the 90s, there was somebody or somebodies who were reaaaaally into that specific type of snuff story. I remember noticing how many of them involved not only hangings but very specific imagery of one high heel falling off. I was 13, so I really couldn't tell you if it was one dude with a specific fetish or genuinely super widespread. But it made an impression.
The alt.sex.stories hierarchy was a wild time.
Anyway, in practice, badwrong RPF of female celebs that sounds like it's aimed at straight dudes ends up on fetish sites for whatever the fetish is, not on fic archives for the most part, but I thought it was a useful example because it was so far into actually offensive to AO3y types. We're not talking the weaksauce shit people are always asking me about on here like "Oooh, what if someone posted [bog standard slash trope] to AO3?" as though it's a gotcha.
--
Man... were there other test cases? I'm trying to remember. This was all in like 2008, and of course, I didn't keep internal documents when I left OTW. Not that half of this was stuff I'd have had documented on my computer anyway.
My memory is that the general shape of the content policy had been decided by the founding Board before Content Policy started up. I don't think we were actually making the ruling on RPF ourselves.
I'm pretty sure most of what we were up to was looking at wank and trying to determine how to head off shitty behavior with the ToS. Trying to define harassment is a mega pain in the ass, let me tell you.
One major internal wank there was was deciding whether to allow Original Work. I was the one who'd been in anime fandom, and I was very used to archives that have an original section, often for the "original slash" and "original yaoi" that had nowhere else to go at the time. (These days, you'd just become a "m/m romance" author, as I in fact have.) Fanfiction.net had spun off its original years ago at that point, but a lot of the non-English archives and a lot of the archives in other parts of English-speaking fandom found fannish-but-original to be a normal thing.
I am a grudgy bitch, and I am still not over how much pushback I got on this.
AO3 went live with a ban on original work, but the policy never ended up being heavily enforced. We waited to see what would happen with posting, and it was predictably that people from those backgrounds outside of US Media Fandom posted some original without even thinking it might be banned, but they didn't post so much it overwhelmed the archive.
The big fears had been that #1 people would flood AO3 and drown out the fic. This was predicated on the idiotic notion that original = inherently not fannish, so there's no dividing line. In reality, the people who were used to posting original to fic archives had an internal sense of what belongs and what doesn't. Fear #2 was that people would try to post chapter 1 of a commercial story and then go "See here to buy the rest". Little did we know that this would soon be a problem with fucking fan fiction itself. (Also, commercial spam was always against the rules and needed no extra anti-original work rule.)
People didn't just disagree with me: they looked at me blankly.
Pretty sure I vented about this on that podcast too though. Anyway, most of the shit people find contentious now was already decided before we started writing the ToS, I think... though I don't really remember clearly. We were more looking to plug up holes in the rules that nitpicking trolls could use to harass.
The kinds of things we were deciding were often like the policy that AO3 doesn't necessarily tell you if someone reported you. If they need info, they'll contact you, and if they decide you broke the ToS, you'll hear about it, but obviously bogus reports don't get passed on. This is to remove the temptation to use the team as a proxy to harass a target. An official e-mail, even if it's "You're fine, actually", can be disturbing.
--
Re the warnings themselves, I know I'd done a survey of what archives were out there at the time and had come up with a list of a few dozen. This was early on in OTW's development process, not just for Content Policy. You can still find the list somewhere on that LJ group. Anyway, for the ToS writing, we looked at the commonplace warnings from archives past, which were basically character death, character death, and also character death.
It always cracks me up when people are like "Um, rape makes sense, but how dare they downplay these other bad things with a character death warning?" Old fandom places were full of unwarned for rape, but woe betide the person who posted surprise character death of a main ship!
We needed an under-18 warning because we had a lot of Australian fans who were like "Dude, my government is a bitch, and I cannot use this archive at all if I can't filter that out". Past archives had mostly just banned it entirely or been full of death eaters raping teenage Harry Potter characters with nary an underage warning in sight.
I don't remember why we picked the violence one. It really wasn't common, but maybe we wanted to make a philosophical point that sex doesn't have more cooties than violence.
CNTW was a compromise with older fandom standards where people objected to literally any warnings existing. A lot of the really oldschool warnings debates aren't about which ones you should have but about whether you should have them at all.
I think people around here miss how non-universal warnings are and how many other communities and spaces even today don't think you need all that.
I don't recall if we seriously considered any specific others. I don't think we had a big list, then ruled them out. It's more like we accreted a few must-haves as we went along. We probably looked at the metadata for the eFiction archives that actually had ticky boxes for search (as opposed to the very low-metadata norm on many archives). But a lot of those filters would have been fandom-specific or redundant or hella vague.
One thing to keep in mind is that this was an Era of Archives, so there were fucktons of examples to look at, though only a few flavors of example since a bunch used eFiction or otherwise copied each other's design. It was possible to make some judgements about past norms on archives, not just go "Are we copying FFN or not?" A lot of fans now see fic hosting as the big three or see AO3 as the only option, but we were used to having many archives with many designs.
I know we wanted a short and manageable list of warnings, and we wanted unambiguous things that could be effectively enforced. If I'm populating my hard-coded 90s website with other people's fics, I can go through each for dubcon before I post it (not that you'd ever have warned for dubcon in the 90s). On a big fic archive, making judgement calls on vague ass categories like dubcon is a nightmare.
We did do some focus groups where other interested fans came in and critiqued our work. I can't recall how much was about our ToS wording and how much was about the actual policies. But we did workshop this shit extensively with people who were around at the time. I think many of the whiners now assume it wasn't enough of a community effort (since we didn't decide things they like). But actually, a bunch of people weighed in. Maybe elf remembers what we actually asked them. I think she was in a focus group.
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kinzis-writing · 7 months
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Summary: After a horrible break-up, Y/N, decided to pack up and move her life from Buffalo, NY to Cincinnati, OH. She would be closer to her manager and she would be in the area where her podcast began. What she didn’t expect was to find a new relationship in another football player. <summary freaking sucks, and I wish I could write my summaries better but they are what they are.>
Pairing/Fandom: Tee Higgins x Fem! Reader! (NFL)
Warning(s): use of Taylor swifts songs as own (all rights go to her), bad guy! Josh Allen (sorry), fluff, maybe some angst, a few choice words.
All music, gifs, photos, etc. goes to their rightful owners. I am just using these in my imagine, so please don’t be rude.
I hate how I ended this, but I was not sure exactly how you wanted it! let me know if you wanted something different! based on this request. *Not edited so may have grammar/spelling erros.*
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“How dare he! How dare he say that I am too immature and that’s why the relationship ended.” Y/N spoke to her friend Olivia who was sitting down beside where she was standing.
The girl had moved back to Cincinnati over eight months ago, her and josh had been broken up for a little over a year now. He had already moved on, seeing as he had made the news with an actress.
“Actually he said that he dated a lot of immature girls and that’s why he’ll never date someone younger than him again.” Olivia corrected Y/N as she gave the girl a look.
“I’m going to kill him.” Y/N grumbled as she plopped down on the couch.
“Woah, who’s going to face the wrath of Y/N today?” Joe burrow asked as he walked into the living room and gave Olivia a kiss before placing his bag down. Ja’Marr, Tee, Logan, Sam, and Tyler made their way in after him.
“Josh, that’s who.” Olivia spoke up knowing that Y/N was in distress right now. “Trying to ruin her reputation.”
Y/N huffed at what Olivia told the guys before glancing around at the Bengals players. “I’m pissed, but maybe it’s because I’m too immature.” She mocked, throwing her head back. “That dick acts like I was ten years younger than him. I’m 24, and he’s 26.” Y/N then turned to Logan who she knew had played college ball with Josh. "Did he ever try to ruin any of his other ex's?"
Logan shrugged not really knowing what to say. He had played with Josh in Wyoming, but was unsure about much else concerning his love life. What the guys did know was that Y/N was far from immature and everyone on the team loved her, the significant others included.
"He's just mad because he lost the best girl he ever had." Tee spoke up, the guys nodding in agreement.
It was no secret that Tee and Y/N were close. They were often mistaken for a couple when they were out in public together and the two had set the record straight multiple times. After Y/N moved to Ohio, Tee was the one to help her through the rough patch of healing from her break-up with Allen.
"Channel that anger into a number one hit and put him in his place." Sam suggested as he sat down on one of the chairs in the living room.
"I've already started," Y/N mumbled getting all the attention on her. Usually she shared her songs with Tee or Olivia. This one had been kept secret because she wasn't sure how she felt about it. "I don't know how I feel about because I wrote it about Josh and then one of my songwriting friends wrote one part and it doesn't even match him."
Olivia gave Joe a knowing look before he nodded and left the living room, returning with a guitar that Y/n had accidentally left. "You are not leaving this house until you give us a snippet." Olivia spoke sternly while Joe placed the guitar in Y/N's lap.
The girl rolled her eyes before gesturing for everyone to sit down, tee making sure to sit next to her, she opened up her phone and ran over the lyrics quickly. "you know what they say, you can't help who you fall for. And you and I fell like an early spring snow, but reality crept in, you said we're too different. You laughed at my dreams, rolled your eyes at my jokes. Mr. Superior thinkin' do you have all the space that you need? I don't have to be your shrink to know that you'll never be happy and I bet you think about me."
"That'll do it." Logan spoke before letting out a laugh. Y/N rolled her eyes and sat the guitar down on the coffee table.
"I bet you think about me, is the name of the song." Y/N mumbled before standing up, "I think I'm going to go. I have to record a podcast episode tomorrow and I need to get ready for that."
"I'll walk you out." Tee offered as Y/N told their friends bye.
Y/N collected her stuff before going to slip on her shoes. She and tee slipped out of the Burrow household and made their way to her Toyota. She carefully put her items in the backseat before turning to face her best friend.
“I, uh, I just wanted to tell you that I’m fully over Josh.” She spoke up her gaze locking on the guy she has liked for the past five months. “You’ve helped me through everything and I just didn’t want you to think that it was all for nothing. I just worry about my jobs and such.”
Tee nodded, “I know.” He assured her. He quickly opened her car door once he realized she was going to open it. “Do you want company tomorrow?”
A grin made its way onto Y/N’s face, “I’d like that.”
“Yeah?” He asked. His own smile growing in his face. Y/N nodded before biting her lip. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you, Tamaurice.” Y/N replied causing the man to groan.
“Really, why you gotta use my full name.” Y/N just smirked before getting in her car and slowly pulling out of the drive to head towards her house.
*
"What's your take on the whole "every NFL player cheats on their significant other" thought process?" Y/N asked as she sat across from one of her friends, Allison Kuch. Her husband had previously played for the Cleveland browns and that was how the two girls had gotten close.
"I hate it." She laughed as she glanced at the two guys sitting behind the camera. Isaac was sitting next to Tee as the girls recorded Y/N's podcast episode. "I don't particularly think that the NFL would make someone cheat."
"Right." Y/N nodded, "If they are gonna cheat then they will no matter their job." Y/N finished.
"I read many articles about that being your case and I was like.. that doesn't sound right. I think it's funny how the media takes things and runs with it." Allison spoke into the microphone.
Y/N let out a small huff before nodding her head, "yeah, they do. I remember when the news hit that Josh and I broke up, which we had been broken up for two months before media and fans put it together. There were articles saying I was out with another guy in New York and then there were some saying Josh was hanging out with his ex and others. It was definitely many lies being told." Y/N agreed before moving onto the next question.
"I have a question for you, actually." Allison spoke up gaining the attention of Y/N. "Do you think that Josh ruined any plans to ever get with a professional athlete again?"
The question had gained the attention of Tee who was talking to Isaac about the upcoming football season. Y/N let out a nervous laugh, "Uh, no. I mean, the whole immature jab was hurtful but if you have bitter ex's then." Y/N shrugged not knowing how to continue that sentence. "My thought process is that one guy does not define the entire population. Josh does not define the NFL men population, you know?"
Allison nodded before the two carried on with the episode and eventually called it quits. After the podcast was over, Allison and Isaac had told the two goodbye and left to head back to their hotel. Tee was helping Y/N pick up her podcast room and get her equipment situated before they had shut the lights off and closed the door.
"You hungry? I was thinking about making dinner." Y/N mumbled as she walked into her kitchen and leaned back against the counter. She was trying to think of what to make that sounded good to her. Truth be told, since her break-up she hadn't been eating as much which was causing her to lose weight.
"I'm good with whatever." Tee shrugged as he came to a stop in front of her and leaned against the island. "Does it bother you that people ask about Josh?"
The girl in front of him shrugged, "Not really. He's part of my past and people want to know, and I think talking about it can be healing." she explained thinking about her past with the NFL quarterback. "Does it bother you that people ask about him?"
Tee was taken back by that question. He was not expecting to have her reconcile that question back to him. "A little, maybe." He muttered not knowing how she would take the new information.
Y/N nodded, the butterflies swarming in her stomach. "Can I play you a song that I've been working on?" she asked almost shyly. It was strange for her not to be outgoing around him. He had been her best friend for almost a year now and she had never cowered under him.
"Course." Tee agreed as he followed Y/N to her living room. She had her guitar, notebook, and pen laid out neatly on her coffee table.
Y/N picked up her guitar once they got situated on the couch and started the chords for the song. It was an upbeat song which she would have to give him an idea of what the acoustic would sound like. "we kept everything professional, but something's changed, it's somethin' I like. They keep watchful eyes on us, so it's best that we move fast and keep quiet. You won't believe half the things I see inside my head, wait 'til you see half the things that haven't happened, yet." She sang carefully.
Her eyes stayed on the notepad as she sang, scared to see her best friend's reaction. "but what would you do, if I went to touch you now? What would you do if they never found us out? what would you do if we never made a sound? Cause I can see you waitin' down the hall for me, I can see you up against the wall with me, and what would you do? baby if you only knew. That I can see you, throw your jacket on the floor, I can see you make me want you even more, what would you do, baby if you only knew. That I can see you." She finished singing the snippet of her almost finished song.
Y/N carefully laid her guitar back in its previous spot and turned towards her best friend. "What do you think?" she asked nervously.
The Bengal's wide receiver nodded, "it's great." He told the girl his honest opinion. "Did someone inspire it or was it one of those late-night thoughts you get?"
"You, inspired it." Y/n mumbled knowing that it was now or never to get her feelings out there. She wanted to tell him before he met someone else and did not have the chance for him to see her like that. Tee stared at her for a good couple of minutes unknowing what to say. "Can you please say something?" she asked after the long silence. Her stomach was churning from nerves.
"You wrote a sexual song about me?"
"Now you make it sound horrible." Y/n muttered as she stood up trying to ease her stomach. The bile was slowly rising in her throat and she was unsure of how to take back what she had just said. "It's fine that you don't feel the same way, really. We can forget that I ever said anything."
"We could," Tee spoke as he stood up, causing Y/N's throat to burn even more. "Or we could make your song a reality..." he trailed. Y/n froze on the spot, her churning stomach coming to a halt as she felt relief flood her body. "What was it again?" He asked pretending to think. "I can see you up against the wall with me?" he asked. Y/N nodded unsure of his next move.
Without warning, he lifted her up by her thighs and placed then around his toned waist and carefully walked them backwards until her back hit the hallway wall. Y/n's heart was beating in her chest, her stomach was fluttering. The girl raised her eyes up to meet his brown ones, the closeness of them making her yearn for him. "You feel the same way?" she mumbled not sure what to say as her hands landed on the back of his neck. His braids tickled her knuckles a bit, but it was a feeling she loved.
Instead of answering, he carefully leaned closer and locked lips with the girl he had wanted since he met her. It was everything that they had both expected and even more than what they were expecting.
*About a year and some months later* (I guess around this 2023 season)
The last year had been going great for Y/N, she had her man that she was in love with, she had a successful album which consisted of her single about Josh and the one about Tee, and better yet, her relationship had been kept private for the most part.
your.username
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💟868k
your.username Game Dey! Good luck to my favorite man. No matter the outcome of todays game you’ll always be my favorite! #whodey
username Bruh how does this girl get NFL guys?
username2 you dating Ja’Marr or Tee?
teehigginsmom_5 win this game boys!! Thank you for supporting my boy. <3
—> your.username always!! <3
username3 josh Allen >>> Tee Higgins
—> your.username maybe if you wanna man with temper… I prefer a man who treats me right!
username4 so “I can see you” is about Tee Higgins? … I am NOT okay!! I love it!!
*
The game had not gone as expected, many thought that the Raven's would lose but it turned out to be a loss for the Bengals. Y/N was still extremely proud of Tee, he had gotten 12 of the 24 points that they had made. Fans were leaving the stadium, most wearing Bengals gear, while some were in Raven's gear.
"Hi," a voice stopped Y/N as she was starting to head towards the Bengals locker room. "Can I get a picture?" The younger girl asked holding out her phone. Y/N gave the girl a smile and nodded before bending down to her level and getting a picture of the two. "Thank you. I really like you being friends with the Bengals, my dad makes me wear a raven's jersey because my mom likes Joe burrow."
Y/N gave the little girl a small smile, "well, I'll make sure to tell Joe and the team all about you." she said softly before she felt a presence beside of her. "It was nice to meet you."
"You too, thank you to much!" the fan replied before running off to find her family.
Y/N stood up and turned around to be met with Olivia who was probably heading to wait for Joe. Both girls headed towards the locker room and stopped outside when they could hear Zac Taylor’s voice. He was ranting while also trying to encourage them not to give up. It was obvious to Y/N that he was trying to get onto the team while keeping their hopes high.
Pretty soon after coach was done ranting, the boys started walking out talking amongst themselves. “Hey you.” Y/N greeted Tee softly once she seen him and pushed herself off the wall. “You did good out there.”
“Coulda been better.” Tee shrugged as his arms went to wrap around her waist.
“Hey!” Y/N scolded slightly. “12 points is still amazing.” She assured, her hands locking around his neck.
Tee gave her a small smile and pulled her into him. Their season was starting out horrible, and every single one of them hated it. Y/N squeezed her boyfriend before pulling back a bit, "You ready to get out of here?" she asked softly a twinkling in her eye that Tee had caught.
"for sure."
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nalyra-dreaming · 1 month
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Hi,I hope we are not too annoyed with all our questions.
I'm new to the fandom,and after watching the show I really thought that Loustat would be the popular ship.I know most people are multi-shipper here,but it's funny how Louis and Lestat are not popular together. It seems like you've been here longer than many of us (books and Tv show)from you observations do you see major differences between fans favorite in the show and the books?
Also,have you changed your opinion on a character because of the show?
Not really to the latter.
I think the show cast the characters perfectly, so they fit for me. :) I like this Louis more, if anything. They enhanced him (though they did enhance them all, imho).
We lucked out so badly.
As per Loustat... *sighs*
You have to understand that Lestat is seen by many as the big bad abuser ™, and nothing else. No matter how often cast, crew, writers and creators have said that we have seen only half the story, no matter how often errors in the tale have been pointed out, no matter how often I have dug out the episode insider with Rolin pointing out the "tinkering" even then... anyone who doubted Louis' tale in any kind of fashion was met with accusations of racism and slurs.
I'm not kidding. I wish I was. I still have comments on my fics that I left there, on purpose. I have the asks here. There are people who call themselves my "number one hate blog".
I don't want to rehash all that now.
But imagine trying to write coming from the books, knowing what will happen, seeing the "seeds" in the show (as Assad called it), reading the interviews, knowing the tale will shift... and being met with something like that.
And now imagine not having the book background, and being harassed on anon, or with comments. And not having the background to defend your ship.
And I don't even mean actual criticism here, if valid or not.
No, I mean harassment. Accusations, death threats. Comparisons to the KKK. Whole campaigns against me, and others. Not kidding. I put my rants into my bio if you're interested, lol.
This is the fandom where I started blocking in earnest, and I come from friggin' Hannibal.
A tale like this, with racial changes in a color-conscious way (which actually brought the difficult topics into play (and I love them for it!)), left hanging for 18 months... that didn't do the fandom any good.
And some of the comments in the podcast didn't do it any good either with the expectations it raised, and which will be now... well. Not wholly disappointed, but... some took that as gospel. When it's not. It will be a bit messy soon, and with what's to come wrt to Claudia, too.
Soooo... that is why Loustat isn't particularly popular right now.
That will change though.
Rolin, as well as Sam and Jacob keep repeating that this show is built around Loustat.
Loustat are at the heart. They are the heart.
The books start and end with them.
The show foreshadows their dance at the end.
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I for one am continuing to write for them, even if I have currently hit a wall on my current fic, but I was mightily distracted by all the new content^^ (like everyone else I think^^).
I love that they are so complicated, and messy, and petty, and so, so IN LOVE.
Jacob called it that, too. "Petty and in love".
And they are.
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PS: And no worries re asks :) I love talking to you guys^^
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simonjadis · 14 days
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Jesus christ. I'm scared to ask but... what the hell happened with The Watcher fandom?
I don't even go here, but here's my understanding
Several years ago, Shane and Ryan left Buzzfeed to launch their own company, teaming up with Steven Lim. Watcher has grown, producing multiple shows. Initially, people were supporting them on Patreon (for discord + early access) and YouTube. both of these are increasingly notorious platforms that take cuts from profits. YouTube payouts are massive if you're just 1-2 people getting a million views per video and a new successful video every week. but it doesn't cover a growing company's needs
To be blunt, for Watcher to continue as a company, they need cut out "middleman" services that both regulate their content and take a cut of their earnings. That means moving off of YouTube and it means changing the Patreon to just be for the podcast.
So, on Friday (April 19) Watcher announced that they're launching their own streaming model. Everything that they'd already shared would remain on YouTube, but future content was coming out on their own service for a $5.99 sub. Which in turn would be lower than or about the same as anyone subscribing on Patreon, and would also be without the horror of YouTube ads
(Again, I don't go here, but I will not watch advertisements voluntarily, least of all on yewchube. I have ublock origin/firefox and when it comes to streaming, I have the ad-free subscription or I don't watch it at all)
To be clear, they made this announcement well in advance of launching, and were making sure that international viewers would still be able to view (something that some major corporate streamers have not done). They also emphasized that they're unbothered by profile sharing, so that $5.99 per month could come down to $2 per month for three friends, or just (as I often do) one person buying it and sharing the login with friends.
Also you can gift subs. All of this is unfortunately moot, and it seems that many of the people reacting to the announcement did not learn or care about any of this.
The reaction to this news was, to be blunt, unhinged. Obviously, it's normal for some people who cannot afford $5.99 per month to feel disappointed. And any change can be unnerving for a fandom. But the vitriol (some of it, like the person who accused them of "ruining Taylor Swift's day," was admittedly very funny) was pretty vicious.
I think that a lot of it was disinformation based (unclear on where the idea that they were removing old content from YouTube originated, as it certainly was not from their announcement video) and a lot of it was (predominantly younger) viewers looking for social media clout by coming out with the coveted "worst new take" to impress their friends.
And so, SO much of it was racism. For some reason, a lot of people have invented a narrative where Shane is being held hostage by the other two co-owners, and desperately wants to release content for free to the detriment of his company, but Ryan and Steven have somehow conspired to make their company profitable so that they can continue to (evilly) pay their employees.
From what I can tell (again, I don't even go here), the bulk of the backlash ended up targeting Steven. People in the fandom are already weird about him and have an ugly tendency to invent mean things about him (a couple of years ago, some of these same ill-behaved "fans" decided that he was homophobic, not because of anything that he did or said).
So this was an excuse for these vicious little beasts to let loose. They were leaving abhorrent comments on his loved ones' Instagram photos -- some from months ago.
On the less overtly racist front, backlash included people saying that they just want Shane and Ryan sitting in a room talking about stuff. It is unusual for creatives to not care about the quality of what they make; of course Shane and Ryan and Steven care about production quality, about being able to film ghost-hunting and other shows. They're not 23-year-olds scraping by, they're artists and storytellers and they are also employers.
I don't know these men and I don't generally feel sorry for men, as a rule, but it must have been pretty devastating to find out how many of their most vocal "fans" seem to despise them, feel entitled to their art for free, and will rage against them like this.
Which leads to Monday's grim announcement, which as I understand it was that they're going to put new Watcher content up on YouTube with a delay. I'm not saying that it's a bad policy; I'm saying that it means that they remain tethered to YouTube for what content they can include, and it's showing these rancid trolls that their cruelty works.
I'm not going to say that this is "letting the terrorists win" because I'm not trying to victim-blame Watcher here. But I worry about what these rotten little beasts will do now that they've felt the rush of victory.
I cannot emphasize enough that I do not even go here. plenty of people very much go here and have written at greater length and in greater detail than i have. I'm just horrified. I don't even go here
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jo-harrington · 19 days
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Pinprick (A Gutterballs Story)
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Pairing: Eddie Munson x Jo!Reader
Summary: You're sitting down to listen to one of your favorite podcasts when you hear your name as one of a long line of Eddie's loves, and you have a moment of reflection.
Note: This is a very very very late post in dedication to one of my fandom loves @dr-aculaaa (who is very much on hiatus but still deserves all of the love us resident weirdos have to give) and not only one of my favorite fics Sunday Morning but the offshoot she made for Valentine's Day: Gutterballs.
IT STARTS OUT SWEET BUT ITS A LITTLE ANGSTY AT THE END. SORRY DRAC. WE SORT OF TALKED ABOUT THIS. THE TIMELINE.
You can find my masterlist here.
Please do not interact if you are not 18+.
Enjoy!
---
You're sitting on the floor.
To be completely honest, you shouldn't be on the floor. You knew that, your doctor knew that, your team knew that. In fact, they yelled at you when you got down there, legs akimbo in a way that was comfortable for you to sit in but uncomfortable for them to look at, so you could start ripping the sleeves off of this fucking jacket.
You're alone in the studio now, hours after everyone left.
It's just you, a bottle of Tums, your favorite fucking jacket, and the dulcet tones of the man who gave it to you coming from your phone.
“Welcome back to another episode of Gutterballs! My name is Eddie Munson..."
As if he had to introduce himself.
"Nerd," you scoffed fondly.
It's your Wednesday night ritual. Well, not the jacket or the floor or the tums...Gutterballs. At the least, you owed it to your former client; at the most, you owed it to your ex.
And Eddie Munson was both of those things.
Although "ex" is a relative term.
An ex wouldn't still send you a gift basket full of goodies every award season when you barely took care of yourself, the way Eddie did for you.
An ex wouldn't shoot an email with wardrobe recommendations when they hear about some charity concert or something, like you did for Eddie and Corroded Coffin.
Still telling me what to wear Jo?
He would email back almost immediately.
Doesn't seem like anyone else is. I saw you at Lolla Ed. Not cute.
Would be your response.
You don't think I'm cute anymore?
That would go unanswered though.
Until next time.
Because you were exes.
But an ex didn't keep the jacket their ex got them because it was their favorite. Exes didn't take apart said favorite jacket because it got a rip in the sleeve, and then plan to just cut two new sleeves for it. Nor did they spend the last 20-ish years mending the jacket that their ex-slash-former-client got them as an apology for a spontaneous kiss before a red carpet.
---
The CFCA awards ceremony wasn't the band's usual haunt but they had composing credits for a film score that was up for nomination. It was a big deal. Something that would take them to a new caliber of their career; not just rowdy rockstars, but well-rounded musicians.
So of course, they were running late.
Their suits all needed a bit of alteration, Eddie was chattering nervously as you hemmed his pants, Gareth drummed a beat on his leg with two of the hangers from your roll rack and Phil, the band's manager, yelling for you all to get a move on.
"Do you want them to look good or not!" You yelled right back. "I'm not having them go up for their award looking like shit Phil!"
"Yeah remember the Grammy's," Jeff pointed out. "That's why you got us a stylist in the first place."
"You'd have thought you paid them to be here or something," Phil grumbled at you from across the room.
"I do pay," you shot up at Eddie with a conspiratorial smile. "With my sanity."
This was your schtick. He let you dress him in whatever dark-romantic victorian-gothic-inspired outfits your former-Catholic heart could dream up, and in return you let him be the spieling midwestern boy that he really wasn't allowed to be anywhere else. Because yeah the band was in charge here really--they were the talent, the money--but Eddie didn't like the whole pomp and circumstance of celebrity. Not anymore, according to him at least.
"The drugs are fun until they're not," he told you once. "We're just...guys from Indiana."
So you'd let them be that in the safety of your studio, shithead manager be damned.
You severed the thread with a swift bite of your teeth and wished the guys good luck with hugs before sending them on their way.
But Eddie...Eddie chose that moment to kiss you.
Well, you kissed each other.
As everyone walked out of the studio to get down to the car, you kissed each other.
And you froze.
Both of you.
Because it was a romantic, world-ending kiss. A kiss of declaration. A kiss of familiarity. The kiss you gave someone when you loved them for a long time and didn't know how to tell them.
Only...you hadn't loved each other for a long time.
Had you?
Hadn't said anything of the sort at least.
That wasn't love...was it?
He left for the awards ceremony and you absolutely spiraled questioning it all. You thought about all the long walks down State Street discussing ideas for this event and that one. The way he got you a membership to the Art Institute so you could sit in front of Salome and Hercules for hours and be inspired. The nights that he just couldn't work on lyrics anymore, so he would come over to sit in absolute silence save for the droning sound of your sewing machine.
The aches of the world were just a little bit easier when you could be near each other, whether it was being inspired or talking shit or sinking further into oblivion.
Was that love?
Eddie must have spiraled too. Because he showed up at your studio past midnight, disheveled and with a green Marshall Field's bag in his hand. A bag containing, you'd find out later, a black wool and leather coat that sat in a window that you'd noted looked nice months ago. One he made the guys make a special stop for before the award ceremony so he could get you to make up for fucking up your professional relationship.
The apologies were stuck on the tips of your tongues though.
And there was a beat before some silent decision was made.
And your lips came back together again, solidifying that decision, even though the words weren't said.
---
“Today on Gutterballs,” Mrs. H’s announces on the phone, breaking you from your reflection, “our lovely listeners at home are in for a real treat. As we record and discuss topics such as first loves, lost loves, and, as you can see, from our current location -body modifications."
“First we have… A spool and thread for Jo."
"She used to poke my ankles like a voodoo doll when she hemmed my pants. I still have the scars, if you wanna check ‘em out. I think that was her way of saying I love you."
Yeah that was the way it was with the two of you.
All the ways you said I love you without the words being said.
And they would never be said.
But that was another story.
"Yeah," you agree with Mrs. H belatedly, seam ripper making quick work of a line of stitches. "Lost love sounds better than ex."
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Quarterfinals, Match 1
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Balloon and Suitcase (Suitloon) from Inanimate Insanity vs. John Doe and Arthur Lester (Jarthur) from Malevolent!
Propaganda for Suitloon:
I think of them as queerplatonic, because theyre incredibly close and are pretty much each other's support systems. Balloon is Aromantic (technically canon? one of the creators said he was so im rlly hoping it is canon) so this is NOT a romantic ship. They dont have any romantic interactions, but you can spin every scene how you want. I just think they're in a QPR and are heavily supportive and understanding to each other. (Since like. half the people in the show fucking hate Balloon, and not many people seem to like to let Suitcase speak for herself)
Propaganda for Jarthur:
The inherent intimacy of having a guy (John) inside your (Arthur) head who you don't know the history or goals of but still bond over the atrocities you go through in your shared body. And sometimes he's an arsehole but you know that he wants the best for you and it's so much more than any other relationship they could have and in the end they always have eachother and I'm jealous of a sad British man and the voice in his head. They're friends and each others world and everything and I want what they have. OH DID I MENTION THAT ARTHUR IS FUCKINF BLIND AND JOHN IS HIS ONLY ACCESS TO SIGHT? IT'S BEAUTIFUL. Like John always takes such care to describe their surroundings (no seriously he starts waxing poetic). I mean yh he withholds it sometimes but every door has its issues. Anyways yh I love them and they deserve the world.
They are extremely close, both literally and figuratively. John is inside of Arthur's head, and they often fight in ways that have been referred to by the fans as 'divorce moments' but they still very clearly care about and love each other, in a way that is explicitely non-romantic. Their love is desperate and aching and they're not just friends, but they are definitely not dating, and a LOT of the fandom interprets them as queerplatonic.
Oh, the special kind of affection and friendship that can only bloom between a 1930s private detective and the eldritch entity that ends up possessing his eyes and left arm. 95% of this show is Arthur (the detective) bickering with John (the eldritch entity) like an old married couple, and falling in and out of trust with each other. Despite that they are both fiercely loyal to the other and by the point the podcast is at now they seem to trust each other implicitly - Arthur has to rely on John to guide him since John can see out of the eyes of their body and Arthur can't, but when they fall into an abandoned mine and are reunited (long story) they immediately fall back into that old, trusting rhythm. They share a body and their initial goal in the podcast is to be separated, but by the point we're at now they're not too fussed about it. They're making plans to go out to dinner and the movies. Also, Arthur is aro-coded - there's a big emotional arc that involves him accepting the fact that he never had romantic feelings for his wife, even during the birth of their child or her death, and how that doesn't make him a bad person or diminish the love he felt for that child.
They have fought gods together. Also they're positive plural representation. What is there not to love????
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rosemarydisaster · 28 days
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I feel like the misogyny in fandom is only partially the fandom's fault. Let me explain: if the piece of media you're a fan of has a 50/50 female to male ratio, and treats its female characters with the same love, nuance and respect they treat their male characters with... Obviously you have a bigger chance of having your favorite character be a woman instead of a men.
If there's only one or two women, if they're written like shit, if they're not allowed the same complexity (because they're just set dressing or because "feminism dictates female characters can't have flaws" lest they call you out) well obviously you're gonna gravitate to the more nuanced male characters. If you don't care enough to write compelling female characters why should the audience feel compelled?
Don't get me wrong, even great female characters get sidelined in favor of "tall dudes with (dubiously) homoerotic tension". But in fandoms with majority female characters/really compelling female leads, the vibes are completely different. Even if there are still assholes. A great example is the fandom of Game of Thrones vs the fandom of A Song of Ice and Fire. When all your female characters either feel the same brand of girlboss/badass or are framed as annoying/evil while most of your male characters (even the evil ones) are painted as cool and badass as opposed to having a full cast of nuanced characters of both genders... yeah misogyny is gonna happen.
So yeah, we do need to work on our internalized misogyny and we do need to point out when we or the fandom treat female characters unfairly. But we also need more stories that love their female characters as much as their male counterparts. No one has the guts to hate on the female characters of The Locked Tomb Series. Mostly because why would you read a book with a mostly queer female cast about necromancy and the awfulness of love if you hated complex female characters??
We should try to give more attention to those stories. Once you start asking "isn't it weird there's no interesting women here?" When you watch/read/listen to a story you find yourself not caring much for a lot of shows. Hell it's why I can't watch most shonen anymore and why I gave up on supernatural at some point. As a "consumer" (hate that word) I also have the option to stop caring about a show that clearly doesn't care about me (or any woman for that matter).
Does this mean you can't read Sasunaru fanfic anymore? No, but when you start a new show you might want to keep that question in mind. And you also may want to consider specifically searching out for works about women or that care about their female cast as much as their male counterparts.
The fandoms don't yearn for the misogyny as much as we think. I've seen some fandom really work the terribly written female characters into extremely compelling stories. Or write new female characters in fandoms with barely any (shout out to "Local Skate Dads Adopt Three Sons and a Hooligan" for adding like three new female characters to a show with one and a half).
Our internalized misogyny is left alone to fester in a desert, deprived of good female characters. Of course people develop an almost paraphilic obsession with M/M ships when they've been trained from birth on shows that don't care for their female cast (if they have any). We center men because society centers men. And we have to do the individual job of decentering men/centering women while also aknowledging that the people that make our shows aren't doing the job.
Also if you're reading this and wondering "what even is good female representation? What kind of show should I watch?" Read the locked tomb series. Trust me, it is a religious experience (not just for women, it has so much gender in it).
Has this all been a ploy to get you to read about TLT? Yes. I also recommend The Magnus Protocol for podcasts, and Derry Girls for tv shows. They're all so good.
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hermitcraftx · 1 month
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I agree with your post about hermit fans in regard to things being very popular. I’ve seen more people being angry and annoyed about scarian in the last six months than people celebrating it. Not tagging shipping is shit but it’s better than harassing people. I don’t know what was put in the water but something changed drastically and I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s seen it.
IT'S FUCKING INSANE! This fandom used to be so positive and welcoming and overall way more pleasant than some... other MCYT fandoms, but now??? I can't log on without seeing untagged negative interpretations in the main tags, can't express an opinion without getting anons calling me heterosexual sympathizers and hoping that I die, everyone has turned their back on everything that used to make this fandom really... fun? Like, I don't tag ON MY BLOG, but usually I don't maintag my shipping posts, and if I do, I tag the ship name so people can filter it.... I don't maintag duo names. What the fuck happened to make everyone so- miserable. Anons are probably going to be permanently off for me, too many people comfortable with their opinions and not comfortable with mine and desperately needing to tell me that.
And like- look. I get not liking interpretations. Personally I'm not a fan of the Double Life cheating arc because of how abusive and out of character people made Grian be, and I had to avoid ao3 for a bit because of that and filter the fucking tags. Same thing with found family dynamics. Just because you don't like something doesn't make it "overrated and popular" and just because you don't like something doesn't make it immoral or unethical either!!! People have to make everything a moral standpoint nowadays and it's really exhausting-
But that's a tirade. All over all the confessions blogs there's "scarian is overrated" despite Grian having nearly 10mil subscribers and most of them being on YouTube and considering all the hermits friends or family truthing them. Yes, there is more shipping than before- that's because Hermitcraft season 8 made it very obvious that the people on the SMP and the people IRL are very different, and it's no longer considered RPF. None of the real hermits died via moon explosion, ZombieCleo often says she's doing "lore", they make different skins, even GRIAN acknowledges that he's acting and playing a part with the permit office. Despite all that, there's STILL wars on shipping and people insisting that we're shipping real people, I fought this war on the DSMP side of things and it's SO TIRING.
DND podcast listeners, do you ship the people playing the characters? NO!!!!! Unless you do, in which case, have fun with that. I don't really care about RPF and I filtered the tags for it a long time ago, so maybe they do do that.
Every other day I see "Third life is overrated" "Last life is overrated" (LAST LIFE IS OFTEN THE LEAST FAVORITE SEASON I SEE PEOPLE SAY!), "the life series is overrated" "the cactus ring is fucking stupid" "they left the desert but we didn't" "no, THIS interpretation of scarian is bad and wrong" and like... guys. Guys. Fandom is supposed to be fun. It is not supposed to be a full time job. It is not supposed to be moral or ethical and you shouldn't feel the need to police shit. Jesus Christ, every other month there's a new fad that tumblr users flock to and once it's over everyone goes "EWWW THAT WAS LAME AND OVERRATED AND I NEVER LIKED IT ANYWAY" like.... I promise you cannibalism as an allegory for love is not mainstream you are just on Tumblr.
Like Good God. If it's so bad here go to Twitter. I'm sick of all the complaining and misery and hatred and I miss when things were fun- people are so scared of being cliche that they don't want to write things that they enjoy. Where are the coffee shop aus???? Where are the fun silly things??? Where are the 100k grimdark fics with worldbuilding??? Wheres the 500k fics that aren't even about the same characters anymore but that we love just the same??? Where are the forums and people talking to each other in comments and meeting each other that way??? Where are the roleplay servers?????? What are you all doing??????
People are scared of being judged. They want to do what everyone else is doing. They don't want to be cringe or cliche and every day I see a "cringe culture is dead" post and then someone making fun of another part of fandom, an antithesis to their previous statement. They don't want to be late to things, either. Who cares if Last Life was a couple years ago? Draw the fanart anyway!
I'm scared. Maybe I'm just old, but every post I see I notice that I get maybe a 10th in reblogs of what I do in likes, and I don't even post my art or fics to this site. Every post is like that. More and more people only like posts and they die, unseen, by everyone. More and more people misuse archive of our own's functions, treating it like it has some algorithm, when it doesn't, and it never has and hopefully never will. I see fic reuploads to "gain traction" (not how it works) and people reaching out to find RP partners (breaking TOS) and all sorts of other shit on both sites and it fucking horrifies me. I'm not even that old- I'm eighteen, and I can already tell how fandom has changed for the worst for everyone. Fandom used to be a community. Not consumption.
It's just... sad. Old fandom had PLENTY of fucking problems, and we have problems here too, but at least the positives outweighed the negatives. It's so... mean here, now. Even the happy things are mean-spirited. People treat it as if certain people have invaded this fandom space, spreading horrible opinions and ruining it for everyone, but the truth is is that shipping is always going to be a thing. It's a foundation of fandom- fandom started with housewives in the 1950s writing Star Trek fanfiction. You can never get rid of shipping. You can just interact with what you want to interact with and leave others to mind their own business.
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theycallmebecca · 11 months
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Drabble: The Luckiest Little Boy
Last week I did a poll for who should star in Father's Day story idea I had and Chris won. So here is the story I wrote for it. I hope y'all enjoy.
In this story Chris is a dad, but also a stepdad. While I am not a child of divorce, my cousin is. He is who is his because he had an amazing step dad who made up for my uncle being a crappy dad. My cousin has since become a devoted stepdad himself and he loves his kids like they are his own.
Title: The Luckiest Little Boy
Pairing: Chris Evans x female reader
Rating: G
Warnings: n/a
Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.
Usage Disclaimer: This work is for fans only. This author does not give permission for it to be shared, spoken of, referred to in any public manner (podcast, tv, online, etc.) that wants to either make a celebrity uncomfortable, mock fan fiction/fandom in any way, or the author themselves. Requests can be made, but it is unlikely the author will change their mind. If no response is given to a request then the answer is a solid no, not interested and the work cannot be shared, spoken of or even referred to, regardless of the manner or context. 
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"There's someone here to see you," you said to Chris as you came into the nursery where he was putting your two month old down for a nap.
"Who is it?" he asked.
"I'll take over here," you said, purposely ignoring his question. It was Father's Day and you didn't want to ruin the surprise waiting for him.
"Thanks," Chris said, giving you a quick kiss before he left the room.
Curious as to who was waiting for him, he made his way down the stairs and froze as he turned into the living room.
"Papa!" your 8 year old son shouted and ran over to him. 
Chris raised his arms up just in time to catch the boy and gave him a hug.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, his eyes going to the couch where your ex and his husband sat.
"It's Father's Day," the little boy stated after Chris set him back down.
"It is," Chris agreed, still confused. "You said dad and papi were taking you fishing today."
"It's Father's Day," the little boy repeated.
Chris glanced at his co-parents for help.
His step-son sighed and then explained, "Papi is married to daddy, so he's my dad, too. You're married to mommy, which makes you my dad, too."
"He didn't want you to be left out today," your ex added.
"You're supposed to spend Father's Day with your dad," the little boy stated then he puffed out his chest. "I'm lucky because I have three dads."
Chris felt tears stinging the corner of his eyes and he pulled the boy in for a hug. 
"I got all your fishing stuff out of the garage," you said from behind him.
"You knew?" Chris asked, glancing over his shoulder at you.
"They called about an hour ago," you said with a shrug. "But buddy wanted it to be a surprise."
"Can the baby come with us?" your son asked. "She should spend time with papa today, too."
"She's a little young for fishing this year," you said. "But how about when she gets up from her nap, she and I go get everything we need for a barbecue and when you guys get back from fishing we can all have dinner together."
Your son considered your idea for a moment and then nodded his head. "Ok, but we'll need a cake, too," he stated.
"I'll get the perfect cake," you promised.
——
Later that evening, while your son was playing a video game with his step dads, your ex helped you clean up dinner.
“Thanks for today,” you said to him. “I know it meant a lot to Chris.”
“We’re raising a good kid,” your ex shrugged. “When we were eating breakfast this morning, he asked if we were picking up Chris or if he was meeting us at the lake."
"You didn't have to agree to it, though," you said. "It's your weekend…"
"Chris is a good guy," your ex replied. "He loves our son and I know our son loves him. And when the kid said he wanted to spend the day with all three of his dads, how could I tell him no?"
"You're the best," you told him. "Why don't you go play with them. I'll finish up in here."
You watched him leave the kitchen and smiled. Seven-years-ago, you'd become a single mom after splitting with your ex. Then he had gotten married to his husband and the three of you had become co-parents. Then, two years ago, you'd met Chris and had fallen in love.
Initially, you'd worried about how your son would respond to having another man in his life, but it had all worked out better than you could have imagined. Within a month of you and Chris marrying, your son had started calling Chris "papa" and he now had three devoted dads who each brought something different to the table, giving him the best support a kid could need.
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damienthepious · 9 months
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did you know that it's a full moon tonight? because that fact has shaped ALL my writing progress today.
i fucking hate this new editor by the way. i can BARELY fucking post fic at all anymore and it's fucking banishing me to the phantom zone. go read my fic on ao3 instead im begging you.
raised by wolves
[ao3]
Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast
Relationships: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla
Characters: Rilla, Sir Damien, Lord Arum, The Keep
Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin' Tuesday, Established Relationship, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Werewolf!Rilla specifically, Secrets, (look i think rilla deserves to have some angsst explored for once), (uhhhh god there have GOT to be more tags uhh. i don't know i'll add more later), (In later chapters there will be), Implied/Referenced Harm to Children, Implied/Referenced Violence, Mild Injury
Summary: Rilla is keeping secrets.
Notes: This didn't exist this morning and now i've got a new fucking multichapter to worry about jesus fuck. hopefully (LMAO) this one won't actually be that long? if it goes according to.. plan???? yeah. right. fine. okayfine.
~
Rilla has always liked straight lines. Consistent rules. Categories, into which data points will neatly fall.
This might, possibly, have something to do with all the categories she falls between the cracks of, herself. Or maybe she was always going to be like this. Who knows? She doesn't exactly have a control group to check with. Life doesn't work like that; neat and tidy like her experiments. Life is messy. Her life, in particular, is messy. But, hey, at least it's messy mostly on a predictable cycle. Mostly.
Rilla packs her usual bag, false bottom carefully in place with her new tinctures alongside the old standbys. She pulls her hair out of her face and into a braid, and picks her way down to the greenhouse to say her goodbyes.
A newer wrinkle in the routine: saying her see-you-in-a-couple-days, I-promise-I'll-be-safe, try-to-remember-that-I-love-yous in the Keep, now, and not in her own hut. Saying them to Arum, too.
Arum hasn't questioned her absences, yet, because she goes off on her own all the time anyway, and because he never really seems to question her about leaving the Keep. She can tell that he doesn't want to remind her of being kept here, and... that isn't necessary, really, but it's sweet, in a way.
He and Damien can keep each other company while she's gone, too. Which is nice. Damien doesn't have to be quite so lonely when she's gone, anymore (and Arum doesn't have to be lonely at all, if she can help it).
She kisses Damien deep, distracted by the way his skin smells, this close to the moon, and when she pulls back Arum nuzzles his snout into her neck in a way that makes her want to growl, though she manages to suppress the urge into just a shudder as she wraps an arm around him and squeezes. No time for fun, just now, unfortunately. She kisses Arum's cheek, light and sweet to make him scowl, and then she peels herself away with a casual wave.
The Keep's portal drops her in the front room of her hut, receding back into the wide planter to the left of the hearth with a gentle farewell warble from the Keep (or at least... what she assumes is a gentle farewell warble), and Rilla grabs another one or two things to stuff into her pack before she steps out of the hut, locks up, and marches into the jungle.
Damien thinks that her monthly disappearances have to do with harvesting rare medicinal plants with very particular blooming cycles, which is... partly true. There are flowers and herbs to be harvested during the day, when she can. She doesn't like being less than honest with Damien, but she's been less than honest with every single person she's ever known since her parents were Exiled. And- it's a medical condition. Sort of. She's allowed to keep a medical condition private if she wants to.
Arum...
Arum complicates things. He's good at that.
Arum complicates her excuses for not telling Damien, specifically. Because if Damien can, in fact, put aside his animosities and find room in his heart for a monster...
(Maybe she could have told him ages ago.)
(Or maybe not. Maybe it would have been too much, before. Maybe he would have been terrified. Maybe he would have felt betrayed. Maybe he would have told the Crown. Maybe he would have-)
No one knows about the second hut, the same way no one knows about her condition. Though... "hut" is generous. Her home is a hut, cozy and carefully cluttered and warm and welcoming. This building is more of a shack, really. It's a fair hike from the hut, but she can get there before dusk with time to spare, which is pretty much the point. Technically speaking, she could just overnight here and then come back home during the day, if she really pushed it, but that would be a lot harder to explain than just saying that she needs to travel to a distant grove for botanical purposes.
It looks abandoned and ramshackle, but the door and the lock are sturdy, and Rilla has the key.
Sturdy, reinforced walls, a wooden locking bar to make certain that nothing gets in and out, no windows. Bare floors, excepting a chair and a desk in one corner for a little bit of reading or writing during the day, and a chest to keep her things in. Mostly open space, where Rilla spreads out the blankets she brought, right in front of the metal hoops for the chains.
She cut her timing a little close today, mostly because she wanted to actually enjoy her morning with Damien and Arum. She sighs, stretches, and unpacks her extra clothes into the chest so she can get to the false bottom of her pack and pull out her medicine.
First night. She'll go with her standby tincture, this time. She has a new experimental blend she wants to try, but she'd rather save it for tomorrow, the full moon, and see how it affects her on the day that hits her with the most severe symptoms. This one, she at least knows that it'll keep her mostly placid.
She sighs, uncorks the vial and slams it back like a shot, wrinkling her nose at the taste.
The medicine makes her memory a bit... muddy? But even before she developed this particular treatment regimen, she couldn't remember much about what happened, what she would do on the nights immediately surrounding the full moon.
She does know that she hates it here. Hates the chains, hates the wood against her claws, hates the drowsiness from the medicine. Hates being alone.
She packs her kit back up. She undresses to her underclothes, then stows her dress and shoes and the tinctures into the chest before she closes it with a click.
She goes to sit on the blankets on the floor, then, fixing the harness around her neck and chest and adjusting it to the marked positions. Rilla has been alone in one way or another since her parents left, she reminds herself as she settles in to wait, her skin already prickling and her eyes adjusting far too quickly to the dark.
The wolf will just have to cope.
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woman-for-women · 11 months
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Hello ! I was wondering if you had any YouTube creators you would recommend? I have really woken up and gotten into radical feminism recently and am finding it hard to find good trans critical videos that aren’t from right wing nuts 🙄 thank you for the help and your blog is amazing 💕
Hi, and thank you (sometimes I forget to say thank you when people tell me they love my blog).
Unfortunately, I do not really follow many YouTubers who are explicitly radical feminists/gender critical. My best suggestions is:
Sapphic Underground is a lesbian who reviews f/f media. She has a side podcast called Sapphic Talks that is explicity gender critical, but her main channel is fairly light-hearted.
Other than that, I don't have any recommendations. I'm of the same opinion that the YouTube radical feminist content is overrun with conservatives who believe there are two genders because God said so and also women should stay in the kitchen, left-wing YouTubers who read off tweets and Reddit posts to dunk on "TERFs", and self-styled political commentators like Shaun, Contrapoints, and Jesse Gender.
If you've just discovered radical feminism, it's a good chance to also center women and women's art, voices, and perspectives in your life. So apologies to soapbox for a minute and recommend some of my favorite female YouTubers (who are not radical feminists, I just like them and want to share them. I also got too lazy to link everyone, so sorry about that!):
Laura Kampf is a German lesbian who does all kinds of house renovation and building projects. Her 120-year old house restoration series is my reality television.
Nicole Rafiee for funny rants and more informal, chatty social commentary
Kasey Golden for wholesome and cute art.
Vewn for her unique and interesting animation style
cari can read because she summarizes Sarah J. Maas books in an entertaining way so I never have to pick one up (sorry to all my Sarah J. Maas enthusiasts, I still love you guys)
Kennie J. D. has a series called Bad Movies and a Beat where she makes fun of bad movies while doing her makeup. She's so funny and she just covered The Ultimatum: Queer Love
Natacha Oceane for fitness inspo.
withWendy does all kinds of cool sewing projects. I'd also recommend coorlipa and JENerationDIY.
Mina Le for fashion history and commentary
AmandaRachLee if you like bullet journaling
Kel Lauren does design! She takes popular brand logos and merchandise and redesigns them to make them look better.
Jenny Nicholson does fandom and media deep dives. She's a big theme park and Disney person. She has a great sense of dry humor and her 'The Last Bronycon: a Fandom Autopsy' is one of my favorite videos
Micarah Tewers for sewing videos, but also whatever the hell else she feels like, including a funeral for her pet rodent L'Trexa
ANJA for cool paintings and art
Sorry this list got so long, but I love to give a good shout out. If anyone has any good recommendations for anon, don't be shy! Reblog and drop some suggestions.
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broomsticks · 1 year
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finally getting to this (TY to @billsfangearring for the rec) and thinking that the entire thing should be mandatory listening for anyone and everyone who wants to participate in fandom. I learned so much about fannish history, zines, fandom on the internet, the creation of FFN — also hell yeah to whoever of the podcasters is a snarry/ tomarry shipper — but mostly seconding this very hard
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maybe i’m especially in my fandom history feels thanks to femslash february & @lumosatnight’s HP femslash history thing, but — this basically yall, i’m so emotional. (timestamp approx. 2h15m in).
fanlore article: An Archive Of One's Own (post by astolat), a proposal that astolat posted to her LiveJournal in May 2007.
First, why fanfic is not illegal and why YOU should stop saying that it is even if you don't agree, by cesperanza. Please read it. That said, the people behind fanlib (talked about many places, see astridv here) don't actually care about fanfic, the fanfic community, or anything except making money off content created entirely by other people and getting media attention. They don't have a single fanfic reader or writer on their board; they don't even have a single woman on their board. They're creating a lawsuit-bait site while being bad potential defendants, and they deserve to be chased out being pelted with rocks. But even if they were, which I doubt is going to happen, because hey, they have people and money, we're still left with this problem: we are sitting quietly by the fireside, creating piles and piles of content around us, and other people are going to look at that and see an opportunity. And they are going to end up creating the front doors that new fanfic writers walk through, unless we stand up and build our OWN front door.
every time i think i cannot love ao3 more i find even more to love and respect about it & everyone who contributed to creating it. what an empowering story this is, you all, about taking OWNERSHIP and mobilizing the community and building the places, MAKING the spaces you want to have. being the change you want to see.
and this list of desired features —
- allowing ANYTHING -- het, slash, RPF, chan, kink, highly adult - giving explicit credit to the original creators while clearly disclaiming any official status - making it easy for people to download stories - options for people to post [recursively transformative works inspired by] the original story, all of which would automatically be linked back so you could see the kind of interconnecting 'web' of how our work is interrelated - automatic rec lists (just click on a story to add it to your rec list) - mentoring: collect up writing advice, fannish history, acafandom, and create a simple FAQ (integrate a wiki?)
!!! these values!! HISTORY and COMMUNITY fucking HISTORY and COMMUNITY.
what we’re doing is LEGITIMATE, it has VALUE and it is REAL.
it is alright if not everyone cares about everything or indeed the same things, it is alright if no two people see things the same way or perfectly align in fandom interests and preferences and headcanons, but there is so much to celebrate and uplift about each other. we have so much in common. so much.
also happiness has meaning and catharsis has meaning and exploration has meaning, art has meaning and creativity and individual expression is meaningful, for the creator if no one else , and is worthy of celebration and love if only because life and living is fucking hard, yall.
ahhh i am so sad and angry (that this was our fandom history! that it was such a struggle! that even now there is so much infighting! that some things i love are not as popular and widely loved compared to other things (that i also love!)) — but i’m also so touched and SO grateful that this is our fandom history because wow is it one of triumph and empowerment and community collaboration. it was dreamt and then proposed and then built, from scratch, and we’re adding to it every day.
and then the timeline stuff (the post was made may 17th, 2007! the domain names were registered may 30th! the first donations came in september 2007 and the site was operational as we know it in 2009!) holy shit!
ahhh i love fandom and all this gift economy and joy.
p.s. there’s also a part 2 with olderthannetfic(’s fandom backstory lmao). which i’ve only just started listening to so expect a similarly in my feels post about that in uhhhhhhh two months
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Bangel fans, we want to hear from you! During the run-up to the IWRY Fic Marathon in November, we’ll be getting to know each other through our Meet the Fandom series. Answer the questions here to join in.
What is your name?
Lea
Where do you hang out?
Tumblr: @liam-summers
Podcast: Investigating Angel Podcast
Instagram: @investigatingangelpodcast
Do you create any fan works?
I make gifs and I co-host an Angel The Series rewatch podcast called Investigating Angel Podcast (sister pod to Becoming Buffy podcast) 😊
Funniest Bangel/Buffyverse moment?
"I'm a funny guy 😑" and anytime Buffy and Angel put their best bitch faces on to let people know that they don't have time for them 🤭
What Buffyverse opinion would have you chased through the village with pitchforks?
Cordelia is not loved by me 🫣
I don't hate her and I don't love her…I'm mostly indifferent toward her, and at times very annoyed. I will say though, I do feel badly about the way her character was treated and she did deserve a better arc.
Share a headcanon you have about Bangel or the Buffyverse?
That Buffy and Angel sometimes sneak off to see each other at that place in the middle (you know THE place) and they've done it since he left, although not often but when they really need it 💗
How would you have given Buffy and Angel their Happily Ever After?
Post NFA, Angel shows up at Buffy's doorstep in Rome and she takes him in. They get to know each other again, they fall into a comfortable routine of patrolling and training slayers and hanging out with their friends and travelling Europe, they find themselves inevitably drawn to each other but they try to take it slow. That lasts about 2 weeks. They ask Willow to fix the curse. She does. They get all up on each other and live happily ever after. THE END.
Basically, put them in the same city and they’ll end up all up on each other very quickly lol
(Ideally Angel Shanshu's and is human but even if he wasn't, I think they could have some variation of a happy life together for whatever time they have)
Last fic you read?
The Mature Plan by Maren
Slay, Lay, Obey - Cordelia, Spike, Warren?
Slay: Warren because I can't let this man exist in the world. For women ✊🏻
Lay: Spike because what else is he really good for? He's not allowed to talk to me though.
Obey: Cordelia cause she has her shit together but might slay myself if she nags me too much
Fill in the quiz so the fandom can meet you!
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felixcosm · 7 months
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wbg for the ask game 🤠
Send me series and I’ll tell you my:
Favorite character
I was going to go with the bit and yell out about Eagle but honestly, it's the Mikes. I adore them. If I had to choose only one Mike, I'd choose Emdubya!
Second favorite character
EAGLE 🥰💗😍💖
Least favorite character
Ty Betteridge? Stupid motherfucking mike collecting dust eating- I'm joking, I love Ty. I don't think I have a character I would rank as "least favorite".
Hmm, well maybe Brendon Evans. Like, yeah, your little brother was a bad guy but fuck, dude. He was still your little brother. Donny was right about you.
The character I’m most like
Mikey 😔 We have similar views on things, and I am also a coward and I would also get killed almost as many times as he did if you'd put me in WOE.BEGONE.
Favorite pairing
Oh, this is hard. But I'm going to go with MikeMichael because I actually adore the selfcest trope and I think they have a lot of chemistry. If they were different people and not already taken, I'm sure they would've been the top pairing in the fandom.
Least favorite pairing
CANNONBALL and Kate. I'm glad he left her to become the henchman of a sadistic gay bear instead.
Favorite moment
THERE'S SO MANY!! I'll pick one at random. The part in episode 14 where Mikey is about to be caught by Mystery Hunter in a red flag cabin and he goes
MIKE: No choice but to play it cool, I guess. Good old cool as a cu- good old cool as a cucumber Mike Walters. That guy never freaks out, what's up with that? (speaking quickly) I'm not freaking out. Would a guy's freaking out talk this slow, huh?
Rating out of 10
100/10. Hands down the best podcast ever.
It's got everything I ever wanted in a show. Gay people. High stakes. Crazy plots. Amazing music. Stupid inside jokes. An ARG. Pathetic men. Toxic relationships. Relationships that changes one forever. Time loops. Plots where people forget their loved ones and must fight to get them back (I'm such a sucker for those you have no idea). Funky villains who are in love with the protagonists. A cool fandom with basically no drama. A creator who cares about his project and his fans. Meat worms. Comedy-horror.
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flyhqpod · 1 day
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Hi! So I recently started my 7th or so rewatch of Haikyuu and got back into the fandom (not that I ever really left but I have brainrot phases like I assume everyone who is into many fandoms does) and one of my main ships being AsaNoya I decided to look through their tumblr tag for a bit, which is how I came across this podcast! I don’t listen to many podcasts but from the little information I found here (it’s queer, it’s about Haikyuu, you talk about AsaNoya being gay for two eps) I knew I had to give it a try.
And I love it! I haven’t listened to all the episodes yet (started with 0&1, then skipped to the AsaNoya ones and continued from there, but I’ll go back to listen to the rest) but it’s so so good.
I love the bits where you go into analysis of themes and characters, the research into certain things, and most importantly: the gayness of it all. My favorite part of the episodes are probably the character spotlights because every single Haikyuu character is so interesting and compelling and deserves to be discussed and analysed in detail! So far I have also always risked the spoiler zone even though I haven’t read the manga because some of the connections you make are super fun and interesting (and I’ve already been spoiled some details from fanfic anyway).
Okay this is getting long enough that it should’ve probably been an email so I’ll wrap it up. Thank you for doing this gay little podcast and thank you extra for highlighting two of my favorite ships (AsaNoya and Kuroken).
And as for a question/suggestion: I don’t know if maybe you’ve touched on this in one of the episodes I haven’t listened to yet but as a trans person I’m always interested in peoples gender-related headcanons and I think Haikyuu and its fandom has so much potential for that. So I think it’d be super cool if you could talk about some trans hcs you have or have seen, or Rule 63 (volleyball lesbians letsgooo).
Best regards,
Vico :)
Hi Vico, first of all, thank you for listening! we made the pod for the gays and we're so glad you found us. your kind words warm our hearts 💕
this is rainbow, btw, and I love having another asanoya stan around! don't feel like you have to listen to all of the episodes, we get it if you just want to listen to the ones with your favs. (though every episode is super gay, that's our solemn promise).
the q&a episode has a lot of gender stuff in it, but youre always welcome to dm or email us if you want to talk gender 😊 I love writing about volleyball lesbians and have a few threads on twitter that I need to turn into full fics someday.
thanks for reaching out with this question! love, rainbow and em
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