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satoruxx · 5 months

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NORTHERN LIGHTS.

✧ PAIRING: kaeya alberich x fem!reader | 4.5k words

✧ SUMMARY: smut, p -> v, praise, fingering, lots of pining, angst, angsty bc it’s kaeya tbh lol, kaeya lore but it’s vague, also military themes bc sometimes we forget kaeya is a captain and i love the knights of favonius, he’s highkey got commitment issues but i think he’s valid, man is whipped tho, he's just an overthinker and traumatized, also can you tell i’m a med student?

✧ RHEYA'S NOTE: first i have to apologize bc this is SO late??? i got this request back for my 200 event, asking for kaeya with the song northern lights by kennie (which is such a good song). at first i was gonna make it a short little drabble, but the more i wrote, the more i wanted to make it a full fic, which is what ended up happening. kaeya's character has so much depth and i wanted to explore it hehe. northern lights is such a fitting song for him so i just had to go all in. but i'm so sorry that i got to your request so late, hopefully you still enjoy it lovely! (even tho it’s not the main focus in this fic, this is technically my first real smut fic so take it with a grain of salt; i don't think i write it that well LMAO)

it was rare to truly know your own weaknesses, but kaeya knew his a little too well. behind his carefree, unbothered exterior he cared a little too much. he cares a little too much when klee tugs on his fur cape and whines about a scolding she’s gotten from jean, and he ends up indulging her with whatever she’d like. he cares a little too much when rosaria spills just a tad more than usual during her drunken ramblings. he cares a little too much when he sees the discomfort in the face of certain fiery bartender as they speak, and he consistently lies awake and remembers days when that discomfort between them didn’t exist.

it’s a curse, he thinks, because he always ends up feeling too attached to people he knows he shouldn’t be attached to.

even now, his weakness is acting up as he barks orders to his soldiers. they scramble around him as they enter the city, carrying their wounded brethren to safety up at the cathedral. kaeya knows he shouldn’t blame himself but as their captain he feels like he should’ve seen this coming. new recruits wouldn’t be able to handle the hordes of monsters at daduapa gorge—he miscalculated.

“take them to the sisters at the cathedral. sister barbara and the others should be able to heal them,” kaeya commands, clasping one of the men’s shoulders and helping him up to the church. he’s ignoring the now dull throbbing in his side as blood stains his clothes—his soldiers were most important right now. like he said, he cared a little too much.

the nurses had set up a medical station at the cathedral, and in between all the commotion, kaeya’s finally able to hand over the groaning soldier to a nurse, who immediately gets to work.

he then takes a few steps back to assess the damage, grateful that all of his soldiers are getting the attention they needed. he’d hate himself if there were any losses today.

he doesn’t even realize that he’s now leaning against the wall, panting shallowly as blood continues to pour from his abdomen. oh well, he’d wait his turn—only after his soldiers were taken care of.

kaeya shuts his eyes, letting his body rest for a minute.

“you’re wounded.”

his eyes shoot open to see you standing in front of him. he assumes you’re not one of the nuns because your clothes are entirely different. you’re young, appearing to be around his age as you eye his torso critically.

“it appears so,” he answers.

“did someone take a look at you yet?”

“i’d prefer all my soldiers be taken care of first.”

your eyes flash with recognition. “so you’re captain kaeya?”

“indeed i am.” he lets his eyes roam over your concerned features.

you give him a small smile before continuing with a sigh. “i can safely tell you that all the wounded are being treated. i’m still an apprentice so i’m only here to deal with the non fatal injuries. like yours, captain.” you crouch down in front of him, fingers reaching towards his clothing with a silent question of permission. he lets his hand slacken as he gives you a nod and you attempt to peel back as many layers as you can to asses the damage before you’re motioning him towards a tent.

a few minutes later and kaeya is letting you strip his torso bare until you have a full view of his injury. your fingers brush over the wounded skin gently, and he wonders if you even touched him at all. “it’s long, but not too deep. a few stitches and you should be alright. if you’re okay with it, i’ll get started,” you tell him.

kaeya wants to tell you that he’s no stranger to the pain of injuries, but he finds something oddly refreshing about your comforting attitude, so he just says yes and lets you begin to work.

you thread through the skin with a delicate hand and despite the sting he honestly can’t even focus on it, choosing instead to analyze your features.

he realizes that you’re awfully pretty.

kaeya makes small talk with you as you work, partly to stay awake through the pain and mostly because he can’t stop his curiosity. he finds out your name, your hobbies, your goals. you may not have the most exciting life but kaeya thinks there’s something so alluring about you it makes him a little dizzy. he's not sure what it is, but he thinks about it the whole time you tend to his wound. realization hits when you finally finish, looking up at him with a smile, and kaeya realizes that your eyes hold the stars in them.

it’s hard to explain but when kaeya watches you work, nose scrunching in the dim lighting of the tent, he thinks you remind him of home.

(kaeya has chased the stars for as long as he can remember. he remembers shouting with diluc in the grass behind the winery, the two of them reaching for celestia because the stars up there were so undeniably pretty.

"we're never gonna get them!" diluc would laugh, trying hard to balance kaeya on his little shoulders. "they're too far…"

and kaeya only grins down at him toothily, raising his fists to the sky. "no way! i'll catch them one day!"

and yet his whole childhood went by without being able to capture the stars. as he grew older he started to learn that it was impossible to steal what the sky so selfishly held on to.

but even as an adult, kaeya knows to appreciate the stars when he gets the privilege to see them in the sky.

especially after he finally seems to find them in the dim glow of a medical tent.)

he hates to admit how often his eyes seek you out after that one encounter. sometimes he’ll see you at the cat's tail, giggling with your friends as you slam tcg cards down on the table triumphantly. other times he’ll catch a glimpse of you at good hunter, chewing on a quick meal as you browse through a book. almost every time he gets caught staring you only smile and offer him a little wave that sends his brain into a frenzy.

(maybe in another life kaeya would allow himself the luxury. he’d let himself go through the motions for you. let himself stress every time you threw a glance his way. work up the courage to ask you out on saturday afternoon. finally get the chance to press his lips to yours. trace your skin with nimble fingers and have the privilege to call you his.

in another life maybe.

but for now he’ll just keep you his own little secret—a guilty pleasure he’ll indulge in because it’s hard to rid an addiction, especially if you don’t have the will to rid it in the first place.)

kaeya’s messed up this summer. he knows it in his soul that he’s made the wrong decision as he watches you babble about something as you lean against his bare chest, still basking in your own afterglow.

he knows that he should have resisted the temptation. as soon as he and the troops got back and he saw you sitting in a secluded corner at angel’s share he knew that his feelings for you hadn’t dissolved.

they say absence makes the heart grow fonder and kaeya only now knows this to be true because just the sight of you sends his mind into a frenzy. you could probably feel his gaze on you because you look up from the book you’re reading and make straight eye contact with him. for a second, he wants to turn away but then you smile at kaeya like you’ve never once forgotten him, and he’s putty. before he knows it, he’s buying you a drink and walking over to your little corner to make himself comfortable.

it’s a slow descent for him because in his head he knows he shouldn’t get too attached. he’ll leave again soon with the troops, and who knows maybe he’ll leave them behind one day too. his future has always looked so clouded to him, and he knows you belong in the sun. he’d like to leave you there in the light—avoid dragging you into his darkness.

so he tries to keep it simple, occasionally meeting you for a drink or catching up around the city. but then you’re showing him your favorite place to study near starfell lake and he’s showing you his favorite stars while laying on his back on starsnatch cliff. and he knows he can’t avoid it.

soon enough he’s giving into everything he said he wouldn’t, finally finding out what you taste like. finally knowing how his name sounds when it falls from your lips.

it's more addicting than he could've predicted, the feeling of your breath against his skin as you pant out his name. kaeya can't even bring himself to pull away from you to stop and think for a second. if he did then maybe he could slap some sense into himself and draw some distance because archons above he was digging himself deeper into this hole. but he can't, not when you're gripping his shoulders as he presses you against the wall of his bedroom, whining into his lips for all that he can give you.

and kaeya is nothing if not generous.

so he indulges both you and himself—the perfect mix of selfless and selfish as he guides you to his bed, nimble fingers loosening the ties of your clothing until you're bare in front of him. he can see the bashfulness settling into your cheeks and he almost feels like goading for just a minute, but he decides he'll be nice.

you've always deserved a nice guy anyway.

he tries to push that thought away, instead distracting himself with the heat of your body, his fingers dancing along your skin eagerly. maybe, just this one night, he can let it be about you two. he can afford to forget about all the old promises he's made—all the responsibilities and duties he devoted himself to a lifetime ago.

kaeya ignores the flush of heat crawling up his neck as he hovers over you, caging your body underneath his as you squirm in anticipation. he understands—the tightness in his pants is enough for him to feel the same. but he's not worried about that, not when his fingers part your thighs eagerly, brushing over heated skin and finding slick wetness there as he dips into your cunt. he hears the sharp intake of breath, the quiet restrained moan, and he preens. kaeya revels in the sounds he pulls from your lips as his fingers curl against your slick heat, your head lolling back against his pillows.

there's a possessive streak of something that cuts through him then—something that tells him how he aches to be the only one who gets to hear those sounds.

it makes him slightly sick.

kaeya realizes then—he's been quite stupid when it comes to you. he's kept the maelstrom of feelings brewing in his soul trapped under all his bravado, arrogant and cowardly all at once. he needs to tell you, needs to be honest because this isn't something he can trick his way out of.

but all he wants to do is run. run so far away from you because he doesn't want you to to get caught up in his own ruin. you're far too good for him, too sweet and carefree to be tainted by his sin-laden hands. he needs to run.

but he does none of that, not when he's guiding his fingers to the apex of your thighs and exploring territory he knows he shouldn't claim. because then you look at him with an expression so blissful—so thankful, relieved that he's giving you a part of himself he never wanted to—and he can't even be angry about it.

kaeya presses his lips to the swell of your chest, feeling the rapid thumping of your heart under your skin, and he shuts his eyes as he breathes out your name. you answer with a resounding mewl, catching his eyes even through the dark strands of his hair.

he then chooses to focus on pumping his fingers in and out of your cunt because archons do you look heavenly when your eyes roll back like that.

but it scares him, the way you leave him open and exposed and aching even when he doesn't want to be.

in his head you're perfect, all bright and glowing under him as you chant his name like he's some kind of savior. but kaeya isn't a savior—if anything he's destruction in human form, sent by the heavens to wreak havoc on those around him. he'd destroyed enough already—he doesn't think he can do it to you too.

but archons the way you're looking at him now, from under fluttering lashes and dewy eyes that shine even brighter when they're trained on him—begging, pleading, and oh so trusting of him and every thing he wants to give you. he can't even help himself.

"i know, sweet girl," he sighs, voice strained as you buck your hips just perfect—a temptress, sent to lead him to his doom. and yet he can't stop his fingers from pushing back your hair from your sweaty skin, knowing that he should be careful because he doesn't want to destroy something as fragile as this.

"kaeya please," your breath comes out in short desperate pants, nails digging into the fabric of his shirt and sliding it off his shoulders haphazardly.

"i know," he repeats, reaching down to heft your thigh over his waist as he slots his hips against your own, biting back a groan at the sensitive brush against his cock—throbbing, aching, needy.

"ah fuck," he's almost shy at the way his voice shakes as he lines his cock up, the heat and slickness of your cunt a teasing caress against his sensitive head. he drops his forehead against your shoulder, breathing heavily even before he's inside you because something about this makes him so incredibly nervous. a single desperate whine and the soft squeeze of your fingers into his biceps and he's stilling—breath catching, heart pounding.

for a moment, he doesn't even feel like himself. he's not anything, no one.

and then he slides in and kaeya knows that there will never be anything better—another experience that would feel this right in his life.

he pulls out a little, gaze lingering at the sweat beading at your forehead, and something in his chest stutters. "okay?" he traces your face for any hint of hesitation—of the nervousness that he feels in his gut, but all he finds is a stormy mix of desire and devotion.

"uh huh," reassurance, stability—everything he isn't. his brows pinch, eyes shutting because he doesn't want you to know.

he's pulled out of the whirlwind that is his thoughts when he feels your fingers on his cheek, brushing over his skin gently. his eyes snap open, and even through the haze he can feel himself relaxing under your touch, because the way you're looking at him is so undeniably loving and it makes his stomach flip.

"you okay?" you whisper, looking up at him carefully, and kaeya feels as though you've put him between the halves of a microscope slide to analyze him.

"i'm fine," he breathes out, not a lie but not the whole truth either. "don't worry."

his words do little to quell you, but one roll of his hips has your eyes fluttering, a choked moan escaping your throat, and the sound makes his pride sing.

there's an image then—hazy and yet so obvious as his brain registers it. the implications behind it makes his stomach churn.

quiet smiles, hazy kisses, soft goodbyes—and then the inevitable distance as he crosses over the border separating your world from his. a lone figure standing in the streets of mondstadt, always waiting for him to come back. always disappointed.

you buck your hips upward, blissfully unaware of the torrent of conflicting emotions in his head. kaeya's brain short-circuits, and then he's pushing back, a steady rhythm against your gummy walls that takes the breath out of your lungs. you savor every thrust, punctuated by the sharp grunts he lets out against your throat.

your fingers rake over his back, desperate and needy and focused on one thing only—kaeya, kaeya, kaeya.

"that's it sweetheart," he doesn't have any more control—not on his mind, his body, his mouth. they've all escaped his grasp, too spurred on by you and everything you're willing to offer him.

"'s okay…ah fuck…it's okay," kaeya groans into the column of your throat, not sure whether he's telling you or himself. the clench of your walls sends him spiraling, hips picking up the pace as he pistons his cock in and out—trying to find out just how far he can go.

then he hits one spot, and his vigilant gaze catches the way your jaw slackens, eyes glazing over even as they roll back and a shaky moan escapes your throat—surprised, unexpecting. his ego jumps.

an experimental roll of his hips against the same spot and you make a sound so unhinged that he finds himself already addicted to it. and to tease is in his nature.

"yeah? right there?" he drawls, masking his anxiousness with his bravado once again.

"right there," you whimper, nodding meekly as you grip his shoulders. he huffs out a soft laugh, pressing a gentle kiss to your eyelids like he's trying to kiss away the tears that have gathered there. you preen under his ministrations—it feels a little too domestic.

he understands. it scares him, but he understands. he wonders what the point of worrying is—wonders why he's letting his paranoid brain taint this moment that he'd been waiting for. the only solution left is to ignore it. because you're here, writhing underneath him in the throes of pleasure, vulnerable and trusting and just for him. he should give you what you deserve after all.

so kaeya pushes every other thought out of his head, only focused on you and making you feel good because that's what someone like you deserves—everything you desire laid at your feet.

he presses a chaste kiss to your mouth, paired with a languid roll of his hips as he quietly groans. "okay…." his voice comes out an octave lower, pushed down by the barely concealed need for you. "okay sweet girl. i've got you."

another searing kiss as he breathes through his nose, picking up the pace again as he slams his cock into the spot that makes you see stars. your moans get louder even as they remain muffled against his lips, and kaeya can't help but dig his fingers into the meat of your thigh, leaving behind finger shaped dents in the plushy skin.

a claim—possessive, desperate, selfish.

your kisses become sloppier as kaeya leads you closer to the edge, walls clenching around the length of him, tighter with every thrust he delivers. the chants of his name have become almost reverent, and kaeya thinks his name couldn't possibly sound more beautiful than in that moment. he wonders if he could be blessed to hear it for the remainder of his life, and the thought sends pure unadulterated need through him.

his hips stutter, red hot fire coursing through his chilled veins—building, climbing, overwhelming as every sense goes fuzzy with heat. his grunts become more irregular, in time with the reckless thrusts of his cock as your cunt tightens around him greedily.

his cock twitches as you suck him in eagerly, feeling every ridge and vein as he grunts and groans and tightens his hold on you—unyielding, unrelenting, selfish.

your eyes stay locked on his even as your orgasm rips through you, and kaeya sees celestia in them—brighter than ever before. your muscles spasm, clenching almost painfully as you tremble and writhe underneath him, and he follows you to the doorstep of nirvana with a throaty groan. his hips stutter, twitching and throbbing as he pants out a broken chorus of your name and every praise that doesn't do you justice.

then he drops his forehead against yours, watching your eyelids flutter—celestial stars dim. a soft brush of your lips against his.

your muscles go lax, every guard dropped just for him—trust he realizes, trust he doesn't deserve. he doesn't know how to tell you that.

because even after everything—when you're curled up against his chest, skin warm and dewy against his own, he does not think about how he adores the feeling of your hair brushing against his arm, nor does he focus on the soft tickle of your breathing washing over him. instead he thinks about how he's ruined it all, how he's dragged you into him, and how he needs to let you go before he destroys you completely.

at the end of the summer, kaeya tells you he can’t.

“what are you talking about?” you ask him, a light chuckle escaping your lips as you barely focus on his words. your nose is buried in some medical text, and kaeya thinks that the universe is punishing him now by making him repeat himself.

“us. we shouldn’t have…” he sighs, shoulders dropping. “i mean, we should stop…seeing each other.”

he can practically feel the way his words pull your attention and when he looks up he sees the way your grip on the book has slackened. there’s panic settling in your eyes, mixed with a bit of confusion. a conflicted emotion runs across your face and kaeya’s fingers itch to touch you. “w-why?”

it’s a simple question and he should have no problem answering it, but he struggles to get the words out, his throat constricting uncomfortably. “it was fine in the summer, when i was back here with the troops. but now i’ll have to leave and-“

“so what?” you question, turning in your seat to face him completely. his eyes drop to the shirt you’re wearing, his shirt, and he feels his heart squeezing.

“so-“ he gulps, head spinning as he tries to explain himself. he doesn’t even have a proper answer—he just knows that this is his only option. because there’s no way in hell he deserves this kind of comfort, this kind of happiness. “so i cant-“

“can’t what, kaeya?” you stress, voice going slightly higher and he only then sees the real fear in your expression.

he pauses, mulling over his words and the bitter taste they’re leaving in his mouth. he can feel the sting of your pleading stare, and he swallows hard. “can’t stay,” he finally answers, and he’s shocked at how miserable he sounds.

you look at him like he’s insane, and honestly he feels like he might be. you’re confused and rightfully so, because there are so many remnants of him left in your space, so clearly evident the impact he’s left on you.

“can’t or won’t?”

kaeya’s eyes snap up to yours, because the tremor in your voice sends a jolt of fear down to his stomach, churning and roiling until it makes him sick.

he regrets looking, because he can feel himself breaking then and there.

you’re looking at him with these shining eyes and he swears that he’s glimpses them again—the brightest stars he’s ever had the privilege of seeing. for a second he thinks the light of those stars might disappear because that’s what always happens. but they remain, glowing against the backdrop of your irises and he’s captivated all over again.

his plans to leave you in tears fly out the window then and there.

he’s reaching for your cheeks in less than a second, holding them delicately as he lets his thumbs brush over your teary lashes. there’s a reasonable bit of confusion in your face at his sudden change, but when he leans down to kiss you, you don’t protest, melting into him even though he’s so undeniably cold. kaeya doesn’t even realize he’s saying he loves you, choosing to murmur it against your lips because it’s not meant for anyone else to hear—just the two of you.

he remains there, in the quiet darkness of your room for the rest of the night, because he doesn’t want to leave your side even after he told himself he would.

and yes, he dreads tomorrow. he dreads tomorrow because he knows that he will have to choose between the comfortable home he’s found in you or the dark abyss that has swallowed his past.

he’s scared that the more he allows himself to fall into you, and the more he finds that your eyes are the ones that hold the stars of celestia, then the easier his choice will become.

he’s been chasing the stars for so long after all. now that he finally has them, why in teyvat would he let them go?

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marner2tavares · 5 months

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cardigan series: the break up ❣️

cardigan series masterlist

Dating Jack had never been easy. He was wanted by everyone. Girls threw themselves at him, guys were constantly trying to plan hangouts, but even in the midst of high school kingdom, he had eyes only for you. You were his first love, and he yours. You never really saw one without the other for the back half of your high school years. You were together for it all. His games, your dance recitals and competitions, the first prom, the second prom, graduation, his draft. You never ever thought of a life without him, no matter how young you were. Everyone told you it would fade or crash and burn, but you truly thought it never would…until August 17, 2019.

“Have you decided what college you want to go to yet, baby?” You were sitting at the edge of his bed while he laid on it. You fingers close to your mouth so you could bite the nails that were already bitten.

“I don't want to talk about it, Jack.” Jack sat up and scooched himself down the bed to sit next to you.

“Well we have to talk about it soon. We gotta figure out what school you wanna go to. You’ll probably have to enroll late now. Hey! You could take online classes!” You closed your eyes and swallowed hard, taking a calming breath. Ever since Jack got drafted to the New Jersey Devils, he had been talking about taking you with him. He was excited for you to be out on your own together.

“I did not work this hard this year to go to some community college, Jack.” You snapped and immediately wished you hadn’t. You looked over to assess the damage. You swore you watched Jack’s face fall.

“You don’t want to come with me?” And here it begins. The reason you didn’t want to talk about it. You let out a sigh and folded your hands in your lap.

“I do, but I deserve better than a community college in New Jersey.” Your voice was quiet. Hoping if you said it softly it would hurt him less. It didn’t.

“Are you serious?” He sounded like he was in disbelief. How could you, his first real girlfriend, his first real everything, not want to go with him?

“Yeah I am” Jack let out a sigh and dropped his head a little before looking back up at you, trying to force the feelings and look of dread to the back of his mind.

“Where do you want to go?”

“Colorado”

“Colorado?!” Jack stood up and took a few steps around his room before sitting back down.

“Yes, Jack. Colorado.”

“Seriously? What does that mean for us?” Your most dreaded question.

“I don't know, Jack” And his most dreaded answer.

“But Jersey would be perfect, baby. You’re so close to New York City, and you wanna be a dancer! No better place to do that than New York City” He rambled, desperately trying to change your mind.

“I don't want New York City.'' His jaw dropped. He looked down at you with every hurt he was feeling shown on his face.

“Do you want me?” He said it so quietly you almost missed it. You could barely look him in the face at this point.

“What kind of question is that? Of course I want you” He looked down at you and you forced yourself to look back at him. He was reeling. You were reeling. Here it is, you thought. The crash and burn.

People had told you about it for the last year and a half of your relationship, “Young love never lasts” You heard it over and over again, but you never thought they would be right. You loved Jack. You truly loved Jack, but you were sure Colorado would be better for you than New Jersey.

“I just don't see why you’d want to go all the way to Colorado when your dreams are in New York.” He was getting frustrated now. Talking with his hands and shaking his head. Smiling to try to mask the pain.

“Because I can’t take having to be a failure, Jack! You’re going to be living your dream and I'm gonna be some wannabe who’s not talented enough to make it!” You said it louder than you wanted to. Your heart broke when you saw Jack recoil a bit.

“You’re never gonna know if you don't try” The tears that you were holding started to slip down your face. You couldn’t even imagine how Jack was feeling right now. You basically sprung it on him. He leaves for training camp in a month, you leave for Colorado in a week.

“Do you still even want to be together?” The tears flowed silently at his question. You dropped your head towards your lap.

“No.” Lie.

“What?” Jack felt like he’d been shot. How could the love of his young life want to end it all just like that? Nearly two years down the drain.

“Because if we stay together and do long distance, you’re gonna cheat on me, and then I’m gonna hate you and Jack, I don't know what I would do if I had to hate you.” You rambled, tears running, distraught.

“You think I would cheat on you?” He sounded upset, not all the way to mad, but disgusted that you would even think like that.

“You don't know what it's gonna be like, Jack.” You looked up at him, shaking your head as you spoke. Not even bothering to wipe your tears at this point.

“I didn't cheat on you in high school, did I?” He raised his voice louder. You knew he couldn’t control his emotions right now. You couldn’t either, but the volume still made you flinch. “What's gonna be so different now?”

“I wont be around.” You said quietly, not looking up at him.

“You could be around, but you don't want to be!” He yelled. His voice even stunned himself. You stood up and started gathering your things.

“I’m sorry, I just can't do this right now.” You started towards the door of his bedroom. You didn’t look back, the last thing he said to you:

“Please don't leave.” You muttered another “I’m sorry” before walking down the stairs, rushing past his family that you loved so much, trying to not let them see you crying. Ellen tried to stop you, asking what was wrong. The last thing you heard was Ellen calling for Jack and rushing to his room as you walked out the front door, got in your car, started it, and drove.

#jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes fic #jack hughes blurb #cardigan series #nhl imagine #nhl fanfiction #angst

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upon-a-starry-night · 5 months

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Christmas Tree Troubles (Nat)

Natasha Romanoff x Gender neutral Reader

Ficmas Masterlist Natasha Masterlist

Wordcount: 1.8k

Summary: You need a bit of help getting your Christmas tree into your apartment so you ask your neighbor for help

A/n: The beginning is the same but differs per character

---

You weren’t expecting much when you knocked on your neighbor's door for help with your 8ft Christmas tree. Honestly, you weren’t even sure if they would help. You knew they were home. You’d heard the door across the hall open and shut enough times throughout the week to know they went on a lot of odd grocery runs at 1 am.

But you’d never really spoken much, a few times at community functions and when you’d see each other in the hall but neither of you made an effort to talk to each other. However, that was mainly because you were intimidated by how attractive they were. Still, they had seemed more on the reserved side. Never bringing anyone home or throwing parties at their place. They were a perfect neighbor on paper, but their loneliness often made you sad.

Initially, you had wanted to invite them over at some point during the holidays just to make a new friend and help them be less lonely but it became more of a need than a want when you tried to lug your 8ft tree into your apartment by yourself.

So you knocked on their door across the hall and prayed that they would be willing to help you out. You rocked back and forth on your heels as you waited for a response, just as you were about to give up and turn to ask another neighbor the sound of locks clicking alerted you of their presence.

When the door opened you observed their tired-looking figure, they were dressed in casual gray sweats and a loose T-shirt. They stared at you curiously as you stood there before their eyes drifted behind you to the large tree lying on the floor in front of your apartment door. They raised their eyebrows in surprise.

“Hi!” you waved awkwardly “Listen I know this is random and you’re probably busy so you can say no but I kind of underestimated how hard it would be to get this tree in my apartment and I already had to carry this from my car to here and I scared a bunch of people out of the elevator because this thing took up the whole elevator and-” You stopped rambling when you saw a hint of a smile on their face, you think this is the first time you’ve ever seen them smile.

It’s cute.

“Sorry, what I’m saying is, can you help me?” You anxiously bit your lip as you waited for a response. Her lips quirk up into a smirk as she crosses her arms and leans against the door frame “I’m surprised you didn’t take someone out with that thing”

You huff out a small laugh at the tease, relief slipping out with the action. Shifting on your feet you play with your hands and try not to blush under her intimidating gaze. “Yeah, if I’m honest I think I picked up someone’s dog with it on the way here”

The sound of her soft laugh has a smile pulling at your lips. To be honest you aren’t sure why you’ve never tried to talk to her before, she seems amiable.

The elevator dings somewhere to your right and you look to see one of the neighbors you stole the elevator from. They step out and notice the tree lying on the floor in front of your door, quickly shuffling to their door to unlock it as you give them an embarrassed wave. You’ll have to bring them a tin of Christmas cookies to apologize.

“Let me grab my keys real quick”

You turn back to your neighbor only to see the door in your face, you awkwardly step back and move towards your tree to assess the best way to pick it back up. Just as you're attempting to lift one half you hear the sound of a door and look up to see your aid locking her door. She swiftly joins you by the tree, watching as you struggle to lift the object that was easier to lift 2 hours ago. Your arms were so tired.

“We can probably get it in sideways” Her voice startles you from your half-assed hoisting and you finally stand and stretch your back. Missing the way her eyes follow the movement.

You roll your neck to release some tension and fix your eyes on her small form. You really should’ve used a dolly or something, or ordered a tree online like everyone else, but you wanted a real tree this year and when you saw the tallest one on the farm you really couldn’t resist it.

“Natasha right?” You remember a blonde man knocking on her door a few weeks ago and shouting her name until she opened her door. You weren’t eavesdropping you just so happened to be getting some appliances fixed that day and your door was open most of the day for the repair women.

She looks vaguely surprised that you know her name, tilting her head and folding her arms in an accusatory way that makes you quickly explain your situation. You drop eye contact halfway through your story, her green eyes were really pretty but you felt like you were being interrogated when she stared at you like that “And you’re y/n”

You snap your gaze to hers and see the same smirk from earlier back. You had the feeling she did that a lot, like she wasn’t the kind of person who was wrong often, or she said “I told you so” at least once a day. “How- How do you know that?” Small hands disappear behind her back and

she pulls a small envelope from her pocket, extending it in your direction. You notice the handwriting and address as one of your friends and grab the envelope you know is a Christmas card.

“I got your mail on accident yesterday,” She shrugs “I planned on returning it to you today but you beat me to it”

Blushing you nod your head and put the card in your pocket, “Oh, well thank you” inclining your head towards the tree you speak up “Should we get to it then?”

The dip of her head is your only answer and you crouch down to lift your side of the tree, watching the way she mirrors your action. Together the two of you lift the tree and you're surprised at how effortless she’s carrying her side, although to be fair she does look pretty lean in that T-shirt and you’ve seen her in the shared gym a few times.

Kicking your apartment door open, you lead your side backward and begin walking through the door, careful not to trip on any of the boxes of decorations on the floor. You lead Natasha to a spot you had deemed the perfect place for your tree this year and the two of you maneuver until the tree stands beautifully upright in your living room corner. It’s the perfect spot right by your floor-to-ceiling windows that have a beautiful view of New York in the winter.

Dusting off your hands you turn to Natasha and smile, watching the way she observes your decked-out apartment

“Thank you for your help, is there anything I can get you? A drink or some cookies? I have to warn you though I’ve been told My cookies will ruin all other Christmas cookies for you”

She quirks an eyebrow, eyeing the plate full of ridiculously decorated cookies on the counter “Don’t be fooled by their appearance they are delicious”

Walking over to the plate you pick up the worst rendition of a reindeer ever attempted and wave it at her suggestively, picking up a dwarf snowman for yourself and sticking it in your mouth.

Somehow it seems to have convinced her because she walks over and takes the cookie from you, breaking off a piece of what you think was an antler but could have also been a hoof and plopping it in her mouth.

You watch as she eats it, trying your best not to be creepy but eager to see her reaction. Much to your delight she lets out a noise of pleasure that has you blushing and then quickly takes another bite of the cookie. You can’t stop the smile that overtakes your face as she devours your cookie

“Those are unfairly good. I’m going to need the recipe” She only acknowledged your presence after she finished off the cookie but you don’t really mind her ignoring you for your baking skills.

You bring a finger up to your chin and pretend to contemplate the idea “Mm I don’t know, I can’t just go around giving away my secrets”

Natasha squints her eyes at you but the smile on her face betrays her. The lull in the conversation seems to bring both of you to the realization that Nat has technically fulfilled her helping duty and can now leave. You can’t help the disappointment that washes over you.

You really wanted to get to know her better.

Deciding to take a longshot, you fix Nat with your best hopeful gaze and ask her a question you hope she won’t refuse

“Do you want to help me decorate it?”

Much to your surprise her smile widens and you swear her eyes sparkle with mirth. She shifts her weight to one hip and crosses her arms, copying your earlier actions and pretending to contemplate her answer.

“I suppose I could be persuaded”

Your shoulders slump in relief and you swiftly grab a creepy Santa cookie and thrust it into her hands. Gesturing to the plate of cookies you tell her to help herself to as many as she wants

“As long as you leave a few for me to give the people I traumatized earlier” You joke and maneuver around the kitchen to connect your phone to a speaker. You put on a random Christmas playlist and start the process for two cups of hot chocolate all while Natasha eats another cookie.

While the milk is heating you make your way over to Nat and lean against the counter facing the tree “So I was thinking we start with the neon tinsel” Nat wrinkles her nose in distaste and you laugh at the endearing action.

Two cups of hot chocolate, Christmas karaoke, and a debate about your questionable ornament choices later, and the tree is fully decorated. It’s by far the best you’ve had in a few years and you’re sure it’s all thanks to Nat. Although she was incredibly apprehensive to put some of your favorite homemade decorations on her masterpiece.

The two of you are sitting on your couch enjoying a second round of hot chocolate while Nat eats another cookie when you turn to her with an overjoyed smile on your face. “Have you ever seen Santa Claus Conquers The Martians?”

Nat gives you an affronted look but passes you the remote anyway and you put the movie on and scoot closer to her.

By the end of the night Nat and you were cuddled on the couch as the two of you fell asleep to the dull sound of shitty Christmas movies playing in the background.

This is my first attempt at Ficmas so let me know what you think!~Starry

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starlightandfairies · 24 days

Note

Ok ok I really love you! That's the last request hahaha I don't wanna annoy you ❤️ I had this somehow cute idea where you've fallen in love with him but he doesn't know and one time you get a little drunk with the girls, later deciding to grab a taxi to the Mikaelson house. Klaus is the one letting you in but Elijah already felt your presence and tries to keep you safe around Klaus, or as you start playing with their swords and stuff. Klaus watches with amusement at his brother taking care of a human girl and makes a comment like "better keep her before I do", and that wakes something in Elijah that he takes you to his room, just to keep you safe. You end up cuddled on top of him, admitting your love to him before falling asleep. He also realizes that he has feelings for you, but he decides to tell you properly in the morning when you wake up 😊😙

Description: A drunken reader leads to playful chaos between the Mikaelson brothers and feelings being revealed.

Warnings: she/her pronouns, drunkness, fluff, swearing

*Requests are open, please send through as many requests as you want, check my character list and requesting rules.*

Thank you so again for requesting! No! You're not annoying me! I'm really enjoying getting requests so don't feel bad! I hope you also enjoy this one!

Key: Y/N = Your Name, POV = Point of view

Word Count: 1,156

First Person's POV

Girls' night out was amazing, I haven't had a night like this in ages, away from all the drama and finally able to just relax with the girls and just be us. I knew I was getting tipsy, I could feel my giggles becoming more and more prominent than normal. The girls were going home, so I decided to head towards the Mikaelson house, I stood on the street hailing a taxi and stumbled into the vehicle once it arrived. I asked to be taken to the address, the walk to the porch of the Mikaelson resident seemed like an incredible challenge, I'm sure that to an outsider I just looked like a fawn learning to walk but I felt as if I was climbing Mount Everest.

I giggled to myself as I fell against the door, I sucked in a breath, trying to pull myself together as I knocked waiting for someone to answer. I was surprised when it was Niklaus, I waved almost childishly, smiling brightly at the Hybrid who clearly seemed amused by my current state.

In all honesty, I have no clue how I ended up sword-fighting with Niklaus, however, somehow this is where we ended up. Sword fighting in the parlour. I highly recommend it, however, do take care. I grinned brightly seeing Elijah walking forward with his usual look of concern plastered on his face, however, once he was at my side he smiled.

"Good evening, Y/n, I didn't realise you'd be joining us."

"Spur of the moment type thing." I turned my attention back to Niklaus, continuing our little sword fight, I jumped as Elijah used his speed to appear in front of me, I grinned excitedly but quickly pouted as he took the sword off of me.

"How about instead you sit with me, and tell me all about your night?" The pout faded away, I nodded in agreement, sitting on the sofa with him and instantly began rambling on about every little detail that went on tonight. I'm sure I shared details I wouldn't typically share in normal conversation, my filter was non-existent and oh, how I know that if I could watch myself right I would wish for it badly.

"Am I okay to take my shoes off?" I questioned glancing down to the hells that were now becoming painful and unwanted. Elijah nodded, though, after watching my struggle he lightly took my hands and proceeded to continue to charm me with his gorgeous smile that drew me in the first time I saw him.

"May I help you?" I nodded, frustrated with my inability to undo the damn straps on my shoes, Elijah kindly took my shoes off for me and rested them to the side. The vampire stared at me for a good minute, assessing my needs and whatever else that was needed to be assessed.

"I'll be right back, I'll get you some water." I threw my arms around him, giggling happily, thanking him and plopped back into the couch. I waited patiently for both vampires to return, I fiddled with my hands, staring at everything in the room and running my finger over my lips making odd sounds just for the sake of it.

Elijah's POV

I began pouring some water, and getting some things prepared for Y/n knowing that in the morning the hangover would come, I wanted her to be okay and wanted her to be safe. So I was quite glad that Niklaus chose to follow instead of causing more havoc with Y/n.

"You know, brother, you better sweep her up before I do." His smirk and words struck a chord. He knew of my feelings, Niklaus knew that I would do anything for her and knew that he would follow through on his words. I made my way back to the living room, stopping in my tracks seeing her laying upside down on the couch, he head on the floor and her legs dangling over the backrest of the sofa.

I bit back the smile dying to show, I sat beside her, smiling as she waved happily and awkwardly twisted and turned trying to get back into an upright position. I took her hands, smiling as she rested her head on my shoulder and that gorgeous smile just permanetly stuck on her lips.

"Come with me, will you, please?" Y/n nodded, taking my hand and following me to my room. I handed her the glass of water, watching as she plopped onto my bed finishing the glass of water within a gulp and began curling up underneath the blankets.

'Would you lay with me, please? I couldn't refuse, I nodded and kicked off my shoes and rested besides her. I wrapped my arms around her as she began to lay upon me, her eyes were fluttering open and shut her words escaping in a mumble.

"I love you, Elijah. I really love you. Like a lot. Super a lot." Before I could even deny anything, I could feel her swiftly fall asleep, I didn't want to disturb her, I didn't want this moment to end. I knew that in this moment I wanted to confess my feelings for her, so I thought it would be best to do so in the morning.

First Person's POV

As the light shined into the room, I knew my headache would be a bitch to deal with, I pushed myself up into a sitting positon in the boat. I stretched briefly, jumping slightly to see Elijah walking into the room with a glass of water and a packet of painkillers.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you." I whispered, sipping the water and taling the painkillers. Elijah sat on the bed besides me, I rested my head on his shoulder and began sharing my apology.

"I'm so sorry, was I a complete mess?"

"No, not at all."

"You're a liar." I whispered.

"You were just really giggly and silly. You told me you loved me- I don't know how much of that was true..."

"That was true, I meant that." I confirmed, seeing there was no point in denying the fact that I loved him. Elijah sat in silence for a good moment, I could feeel my heart halt for a second fearing that his reaction cold be poor and that he would react in a way that ruin our friendship.

"I love you too." He whispered, his eyes focused on me, I glanced to him surprised and shocked about the outcome of the confession. I smiled pushing myself up and grabbed ahold of his face. Looking to see if the noble vampire was lying to me, he grabbed my hands, his look gentle and comforting. I knew just then that it wasn't a lie and that this was all true.

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misfitmagpie · 8 months

Text

Well I will gladly take a look at the fully revealed logo! Though I will say that red-archivist pointed out some good stuff in this post. But we can take a deeper look into certain things!

Also p.s.: You will want to read the giant ramble to the end, because I noticed something as I was finishing, and it puts everything in an interesting context.

As mentioned in that post, the combination of the alchemical symbols for salt, mercury, and sulphur do indeed form the tria prima, the three primes or components of life.

⊖ or salt, which represents the earth and the human body. In alchemy it also symbolises the lower consciousness, self-knowledge, and wisdom.

☿ or mercury I already covered last time, representing the mind, the omnipresent spirit of life, and stood as symbol for intellect, imagination, moral judgement, and the higher mental faculties. The alchemical associations of mercury have a strong connection with the Greek/Roman gods Hermes/Mercury, a messenger god who also acted as a chthonic deity, a psychopomp and god of boundaries to be exact. Which might be relevant, might not. (He was also a shepherd god, just adding that detail)

🜍 or sulphur represents the spirit or soul of all materials and living things. In alchemy it is seen as synonymous with consciousness and the expansion of thought. And is seen as the bridge that connects the body with mind, thus it is seen as the key to understanding the inner workings of the soul and consciousness. It’s interesting to me that the sulphur is in the logo 4 times, connected to the circle that encompasses the salt and mercury symbols, and the chevrons (I’ll get to those in a moment). This could have been purely aesthetic, but they could have also simply opted to have the sulphur symbol instead of one of the chevrons and have pretty much the same effect. Instead they chose the alchemical symbol of the soul, also seen as what ties body and mind together, also an element that is strongly associated with heat and fire, to encompass the body and mind, together with heraldic symbols of protection. It’s an interesting choice which makes me wonder about the mindset of the people who founded this organisation. (Maybe they are the types to believe in purifying fire, or purity of the soul as a way to protect oneself against the horrors out there? Who knows.)

The double ^ are chevrons, a heraldic symbol associated with protection, and meant to represent the roof of a house. Even the name is derived from the French word for “rafter”. It is also used in military or police uniforms to indicate rank or length of service. It is interesting to me that the bottom left chevron is an inverted version of the top right. The inverted version being next to the symbol for mercury or the mind, and the regular next to the symbol for salt or the body. Without it being in full colour, I can’t say much about any particular heraldic or symbolic links that might have. At most I can speculate that maybe it’s hinting at how the mind might not be as safe as the body in such a service, of course that can also be my own knowledge of TMA colouring my interpretation.

The O.I.A.R. in the top banner has been revealed! And it’s nice to get confirmation that I guessed correctly on the R! Personally I am not very good with acronyms, but @emdashingaway correctly guessed that it would be this. In my previous post about The Magnus Protocol logo she pointed out that it might stand for Office of Incident Assessment and Response, which now seems very plausible!

Now the background has some interesting repeating symbols too.

🜏

This is the Leviathan Cross, in alchemy another symbol associated with sulphur (in particular black sulphur) and thus also the soul. However it is worth noting that Anton LaVey, founder of the Church of Satan, has adopted the Leviathan Cross as a symbol of his Church in the 1960s. Though I can’t immediately find much more about it and its origins beyond the alchemical association and the very modern Satanic association. (The name Leviathan strikes me as interesting too, but there is too much that can be said about it, especially for a symbol that just occurs in the background.)

🜇

This is the alchemical symbol for aqua regia (derived from the Latin for “royal water” or “regal water”), it is a mixture of is a mixture of nitric acid and hydrochloric acid, optimally in a molar ratio of 1:3. Historically aqua regia was used in alchemy in the process of attempting to create the philosopher’s stone. It is also used to help dissolve gold and platinum within actual chemistry!

♁

Is the symbol for antimony is associated with the animal nature or wild spirit of man and nature, and it was often symbolised by the wolf.

🜘

This is the symbol for bismuth, while it does get mentioned in alchemical texts, the particular use and associations seem to be unclear. All that I can seem to find is that in early days, it was often confused for tin or lead. And that apparently Miners in the age of alchemy also gave bismuth the name tectum argenti, or “silver being made”. (Also it’s chemical symbol is Bi, which is funny given how apparently some have discovered that they are bi thanks to TMA)

I hope this is visible, but one of the symbols in the background also looks an awful lot like one of the alchemical symbols for tin. It looks like a curved X with circles at the ends of the legs. Tin in alchemy is associated with the planet Jupiter, and is sometimes called the ‘breath of life. ’ It represents the idea that the whole is stronger than the sum of its parts.

⚥

From what I can find, this is not strictly speaking an alchemical symbol. Clearly a combination of the male and female gender symbols (each of which is actually derived from the symbols for Mars and Venus respectively, which do get used in alchemy actually), it is generally seen as a hermaphroditic symbol (using the strict broad biological label here, not referring to intersex, I just want to point that out). But given all of the alchemy references so far, I suspect that it might be referencing the rebis (from the Latin res bina, meaning dual or double matter), the ultimate end product of the alchemical great work. It is sometimes described as the divine hermaphrodite—a reconciliation of spirit and matter, a being of both male and female qualities. A lot can be said about the great work in alchemy, and this post is already long enough honestly.

And lastly…

Take this, flip it upside-down, and you have the shape of the logo in which all these symbols are displayed. This is the symbol for the philosophers’ stone. In alchemy it is an unknown substance sought after by alchemists, said to be capable of turning base metals into precious ones (like gold and silver), can be used to derive an elixir of life, and was even thought to bring about spiritual revitalisation. And it symbolises perfection at its finest, enlightenment, and heavenly bliss.

And while researching this, I also noticed something rather interesting. It might end up not being relevant at all, but I discovered that a famous alchemist was named Albertus Magnus who was born some time before 1200 in the Duchy of Bavaria (the flag and coat of arms of which during the Wittelsbach dynasty sports a rather nice diamond pattern, a bit like the pattern you see within the triangle of the logo). He was a saint with a deep interest in a large variety of topics including logic, theology, botany, geography, astronomy, astrology, alchemy, mineralogy, zoology, physiology, phrenology, justice, law, etc. I recommend potentially checking out the wiki page on Albertus Magnus that I shared earlier if you are interested in knowing more, there is a lot of history there. But it’s interesting that he shares a surname with Jonah Magnus, founder of the Magnus Institute.

Conclusion:

Given all that I have managed to dig up about the symbols within the logo, and the indirectly connected links with suspiciously named historical figures, in particular with the context of there being another Bouchard within the Magnus Protocol, I can’t help but be suspicious of whatever this British civil service is actually getting up to behind the scenes. In particular what they think they might be trying to accomplish using the Fear Entities.

Of course at this point it becomes pure speculation. But I am more than happy to hear everyone’s ideas, speculation, and contributions!

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #the magnus archives #rusty quill #turns out asks don't show up in the tags how annoying #also I want to point out that I am by no means an expert on alchemy #I simply enjoy research #Share your theories though! It's fun to discuss that kind of stuff!

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wannaeatramyeon · 10 months

Note

You hit the nail on the head! I‘ll ask for more professional assessment: honest opinion on Crystal?

Following on from my ramblings about Sally Park. Oops! Edited to add in Zoe too.

Well written female characters in Lookism? Uhh...

When the bar is at an all time low, it's really not hard to step over it.

At this point, I've been pavloved to think that any female character that expresses a personality trait other than 'simp' is pretty good. Simp is fun when it's part of a list of characteristics (Zack, Ryuhei). Not so much when it's the only thing.

Long live PTJ, the greatest feminist. Anyway.

Female characters I like

Mary Kim

Love her. Empress of 2 seconds. Queen of my heart.

Surprisingly kept a platonic relationship with Vin Jin, showing quite a healthy mixed gender friendship. Sassy and smart. Loyal. Good taste in men (Jace). Is shown having a life and interests outside of a man.

On my hands and knees praying that PTJ doesn't ruin her. Kinda glad she hasn't appeared in a while so she is kept away from his incessant need to turn everyone into a love interest.

Lua Im

Once we got over the odd Johan panels, which I heard the Korean audience didn't like and I'm quite happy about, she's fine. And it's not that I care that much about Johan staying a single dog-dad, I just needed a coherent reasoning/build up why they would be interested in one another.

Lua has potential.

Sourcing intel, even impressing the likes of Gun? A little Muay Thai knowledge? Jake and Jerry scared of her? Lol. Ok. Good. Let's build on this.

Just please don't white knight her.

Crystal Choi (meh)

And Ms. Choi, because anon specifically asked. I really don't mind her? I know she's meant to be anti-Lookism but still judges people based on their looks eh. That's fine. Pretty realistic actually. Whatever.

She can be a bit bitchy for no reason. So can I. Handwaving all that.

What I do take issue with though, is her so called title of Business Genius. Please show me the chapter where she actually does something to earn that title besides the one where other people ooh-ed and aah-ed over her in the meeting with DG.

Wow she's sooooo gorgeous. Ok good for her. If that's the route they're taking her character then at least OWN. THAT. SHIT. Use her beauty and looks to sign deals and get what she wants. GOOD. DO IT.

Zoe Park (also meh... Wait)

Sorry anon, I think 'really well written' is a bit of a reach... She does have some decent character development, starting as quite a flighty, shallow girl and then showing that she has a heart of gold, liking both Daniels and. Huh.

Wait. You're right. She is pretty well written. She's selfless and kind and loyal to her friends, putting up with Logan's bullshit. There's enough of a character arc for her from the Zoe we're introduced to at first.

And I do like that she's good at maths too.

Wasted potential

Minseong Kang (Jake's momma)

Appreciate this is the older generation and from a much more conservative culture. Saying that, I am so over the slighted and bitter housewife rotting at home while her big powerful husband cheats on her.

And then some sort of marriage redemption cos they pop out a kid. Whatever. (Sorry Jake bb, I love you).

If you were going to do that, give me the most toxic red flag shit where they are constantly at each other's THROATS. Show me how they are equals. Can't live with or without one another. That's the good kinda shit.

Leonn Lee

I just. What the fuck was this.

A girl in Burn Knuckles? A group that reeks of testerone and (positive) masculinity? Show us why she joined! Show us why she stays. SURPRISE. Main character trait?? Having a crush on Vasco.

She could have been SO interesting. And she obviously trains, why not get her to fight?

Hate for irrational reasons

Joy Hong

Listen, she's not really in enough or significant enough for me to really feel one way or another about her. BUT. The reason I HATE her is because I was trying to write a headcanon involving everyone and then I got to Joy and I was STUMPED.

Sub in a plank of wood, and it would have the same depth of personality.

Truly. Who is she apart from Jay's sister and a Daniel simp? At least everyone else has something.

Others

I don't really think about them. Sera Shin has potential I guess.

And of course a special mention to Daniel's momma. She's not exactly a unique character, but who doesn't love her?

LET. THEM. FIGHT.

Lastly. Why can't we see women fight? Like the men's fights are realistic LOL. Ultra instinct? Smashing through walls? So why are women fighting men outside the realms of this.

And yes yes. Men are SoOoOoOo strong. But can they take a kick to the balls?

Are you saying Gun Park has been training his dick and balls and would be able to eat a hit there? He wouldn't go down like a heap of shit??

HUH. TELL ME THAT.

In Summary

Mary by and large is pretty well written. Lua has improved.

I don't care much about anyone else.

And I wanna see Gun, Goo, Sammy, Vin etc. get kicked in the balls in a fight.

#is this my most disjointed rambling yet? quite possibly #if you made it to the end you sincerely deserve a medal #sorry if i've completely forgotten about any female character development loooool my bad #and sorry every time I refer to the women as females it makes me feel incel-y #lookism #lookism manhwa #lookism webtoon #lua im #mary kim #crystal choi #leonn lee #minseong kang #joy hong #wannaeatramyeon

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wormdebut · 10 days

Text

LET DOWN AND HANGING AROUND (CRUSHED LIKE A BUG IN THE GROUND)

Ahoy! This is my first VERY LATE ficlet for @corrodedcoffinfest ! My absolute bad for being so late, but BOY am I HAPPY TO BE HERE!

Warm Up Prompt One: Taxed. Word Count: 1000 (scrivener says 1000 Wordcounter says 979. IDK Man, it’s within limit), Rating: T, Pairing: None, CW: Swears, Smoking, Angst Tags: Eddie, Gareth, Jeff, Freak

----

October 1987

They've been at this for fucking years. Eddie feels like a fucking girl scout.

'Well hello there Mr. Music Man, would you like to buy a box of shitty garage band metal?'

Except they weren't fucking shitty. All of the guys had been working their assess off, writing, playing shows, shitty gig after shitty gig after shitty gig.

But they haven't managed anything. Nothing, zilch, nada.

They had a small crowd showing up at the Hideout, and the owner, Benny, started letting them play not only their usual Tuesday but because Eddie had been helping him with placehe was letting them play Saturday nights now too, which was great because while he appreciates the likes of his uncle and Wayne's best friends on Tuesdays, there were almost twenty people every Saturday night and that was something.

They also had a standing gig at a bar in Indianapolis at least once a month, lately they've been playing The Barrel every other week and Eddie thought--he thought--that that would get them somewhere.

The guys were fucking exhausted but Eddie kept pushing because they could do this. Corroded Coffin was great. They were great and somebody was going to see that…right?

Eddie saw what they had. He did. But the guys--

"C'mon Ed, we can't keep sneaking Gareth into bars forever. I think we need to--maybe consider other options or--" Jeff rambles. They were supposed to be practicing but Jeff Williams had to swoop inwith his stupid common sense bullshit. Jeff motherfucking Williams is one of the best guitarists Eddie has ever had to the privilege of listening to, but Jeff wants to go college like a real boy!

Gareth cuts him off, "It's just the two bars man, and I have a fake, if I need it anyw--"

Would you look at that, it's time for Freddy to cut in. "Yeah, but you're three feet tall and have the face of a newborn child."

Gareth shoves at Freddy's chest. "Oh fuck off, man. At least I'm not a virgin!" He yelps and great. This is great.

Now the band is fighting, again, because Jeff wants to go to College, Goodie is a Virgin, and Gareth is short.

Eddie just want to play music.

If they all want to yell, Eddie can yell louder. "See. Do you see what happens when you start talking about 'other options' Jeff? Chaos--and not the fun kind!"

"See, Eddie--this is the fucking problem with you. All you care about is your music, your dream, It's all about you!"

Jeff is yelling at Eddie, Gareth and Freak are rough housing, how did this even happen. All Eddie wants is to do something. Be something. He believes in this, in Jeff, and Freddy and Gareth, in the band.

And he gets that everyone is taxed, tired. Eddie is fucking exhausted. Gareth is trying to not fail his senior year. He gets it, he does, but-- "You know what, Jeff?" His voice breaks, and isn't that fucking humiliating? "Some of us, don't have college as an option. Did you ever consider that?"

Eddie leans over and grabs his cigarettes from the table, before shoulder checking Jeff as he leaves.

——

What’s the fucking point? Eddie puts everything into lyrics that people probably don't even know, all of them spend hours writing and harmonizing, making sure chords make sense, just for everything to be a pipe dream. They haven't taken a break for anything. It's either work or school or Coffin Shit. They haven't played D&D in months. They've just been doing this.

But it's all Eddie has. How the hell was he ever going to get out of shitty ass Hawkins, if it wasn't this way? He didn't exactly ace his finals--even the third time around. Honestly? He's pretty sure they just let him pass, to get him the fuck out of there.

He lights up what feels like his eighth cigarette--it's not, it's his second--and stares out to the empty street. They use Gareth's garage to practice…for being as straight laced as she is, Ms. Emerson sure does believe in the band.

Dottie Emerson and Eddie. God dammit, maybe Jeff is right.

He should go back, he should go back and apologize, and let this go. He has the job at the Hideout, he can save and maybe move to Indy--play an acoustic at some bars or…something.

God, he's just so tired of this shit.

He finishes his cigarette, and tries to breathe. Breathe in--hold--breathe out--he doesn't realizes Jeff until he taps his shoulder.

"Hey." Jeff says, quiet. Eddie, just nods, grabs his pack and offers a cancer-filled olive branch. Jeff takes it.

Eddie doesn't say anything. Doesn't want to, doesn't know what he should say.

So Jeff does. "I'm sorry, Ed. I didn't mean to make you upset. I'm just fucking tired man, we all are and I do want this, I do, but it's fucking scary." Eddie turns, watches Jeff blow out smoke. "I got accepted to IU, did you know that?"

Eddie blinks. He did not know that. "No, you hadn't mentioned it."

Jeff turns to look at him, "I didn't want this to happen."

Eddie closes his eyes, takes in a deep breath. In--hold--out. "You should go." He forces a smile, watches as Jeff's eyes shine for a moment--no wonder he had that silly crush on him his second senior year, but it was only for like a week, leave it alone--before he srunches his face up, Eddie can't help but laugh. Jeff always does that, when he's stressed. It makes him look like a rabbit.

Jeff goes to speak, but Eddie cuts him off. "Let's do this Halloween show, it'll be our going away gift to our tens of adoring fans."

Jeff laughs at that, nods, and pulls Eddie into a hug.

Everything will be fine, with or without Corroded Coffin.

#worm brain #everyone buckle up cause I'm determined to knock all of these out #they will follow a story line BUT also stand alone #so note that even though eddie thinks this is the end thats a big fat lie #Steve is out there somewhere #and so will Corroded Coffin being famous as fuck #I promise #eddie munson #stranger thing #stranger things ficlet #pre steddie #cause BOY WILL THEY BE HERE #Corroded Coffin #All the boys. They are all here and they be fighting #corrrodedcoffinfest #worm coffin verse

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prismatic-starstuff · 7 months

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So because I talked earlier about my thoughts on Astarion and the polyamory options the game offers with him, I'm just gonna post the post I had in my drafts idk akxmalxnakxn

Disclaimers: I'm all for polyamory in general and I love the fact there are poly options in the game; and if you disagree with my assessments about the tone and/or intention of the dialogue, that's totally fine! I'm not trying to throw shade at anyone who reads things differently or prefers things a different way than me; I'm just having a little ramble about things as I experienced them. I'm not here to fight, so please don't fight with me.

So, there's... a lot of evidence in the game that Astarion doesn't like being with more than one person, and doesn't like his partner being with more than one person. And my potentially hot take on the matter is... I don't think the poly options with him are a good choice; actually, I think they're really cruel.

If you try for polyamory with Astarion and Shadowheart or Minthara, both of them - in very different ways - point out the fact that, basically, he doesn't feel comfortable or safe with the idea of his partner being with multiple people.

Shadowheart says: 'I think you may be overestimating his willingness to share; he might seem like the carefree hedonist, but there's something fragile beneath the facade. If you can give him the solace that I'm convinced he desperately needs, then it would be cruel for me to try and elbow in - liable to end in tears, or blood, or both.'

And Minthara, being Minthara, isn't so nice about it but effectively says the same thing; she says: 'I suspect that would puncture his fragile ego far more savagely than his fangs puncture your neck. Astarion likes to put on a show of nonchalant decadence, but he is as delicate as a flake of snow. Besides, that arrangement would not suit me either. I am not delicate, but I do not share what I desire.'

During the scenes with Halsin - whether it's at the brothel with the drow twins or it's MC asking Astarion about general polyamory with Halsin - it seems painfully like he's going along with it for MC's sake; both conversations are initiated by MC, his immediate reaction in both scenarios is to ask if they're pursuing this because he's not giving them sex, and only after that discussion does he agree to it. He doesn't express any personal interest in it, so it seems to once again be expressly because MC wants it; in fact, he's acting very much like he did in Act 1 back when he was pretending.

I also saw a clip once of someone who slept with Mizora while in a relationship with ascended Astarion, and he's dripping bitterness all the way through the conversation about it. I don't have the exact dialogue on hand right now, but he speaks as though he's jealous because he wanted to be with Mizora too, but— honestly? That whole part felt like a cover. Because with the way he tells MC to at least bring him along if they decide to have other affairs in future, and the way he sounds so mocking and delighted if MC says that the affair was bad in any way, it just feels like he vehemently dislikes the fact it happened at all; it feels like it's not about Mizora at all, it's about the fact he doesn't like them being with somebody else, especially without him.

Still on the subject of ascended Astarion, there's also a line of dialogue where Minthara asks about sharing immortality with her and he pointedly shoots that down, stating that it is 'for me and my darling to share.' In response, Minthara says: 'If they have prevented your eyes and fangs from wandering to other necks, it must be a special bond indeed.' All of this points to Astarion only having eyes (and, uh, fangs) for his darling, and no-one else.

Again, I'm all for polyamory; I wholeheartedly support it, I know polyamorous people and have polyamorous friends. I really love how it's just a normal and accepted thing in BG3 that no-one bats an eyelid at, and I think more games should be taking that approach.

But when it comes to Astarion in specific... he doesn't come across as polyamorous at all, because there's simply too much evidence pointing to the fact that he's not; and so, the polyamory options with him in specific honestly... hurt. Because at no point does he ever seem enthusiastic about it, as if it's genuinely what he wants to do; instead, it all just feels like another extension of him having to go along with what others want in order to satisfy them. There's a piece of dialogue where Astarion mentions how he sometimes does not know how to say no as a result of the trauma and abuse he's gone through, and I think that's exactly what's happening.

And considering that's been his whole life for two centuries, and it's being perpetuated by the person he's developed feelings for suddenly springing these situations on him, it just... doesn't feel good to me, personally.

#again: this is my personal opinion and i'm not throwing shade at anyone who disagrees or reads things differently #this is just how i feel about this specific situation!#but yes: the subject came up #so i wanted to discuss some thoughts and observations #baldur's gate iii #astarion

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ashen-crest · 1 year

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Hi RK! I think about you a lot as far as seeing the writer I want to be out in the wild. You self-published, right? Do you have a Guide for those of us wanting to follow your path, or advice on Where to Look for going in the self pub direction?

Hello and thank you so much!! I apologize if this gets rambly- there's a lot to cover, and I hope you stick with me through it.

I am indeed self-published! Everyone's situation and goals are different, but for me, I work full-time, write on the side, and want to push out professional-looking books because...well, because I want to. I currently don't plan to move to writing full-time, and I do have a job that helps cover the costs of an editor, cover designer, etc.

That's all important to establish up front, because that majorly impacts basically everything else about my strategy.

Because I work full-time, I can't write as fast as other folks. I also don't have as much time to spend on marketing. But because I work full-time, I can set aside money for a line editor, a cover designer, a proofreader, and an illustrator if needed, as well as cover a website, pre-order goodies, author copies for giveaways, a BookFunnel subscription, etc.

So, with all that...

Step 1:

Assess your goals, your abilities, your limits, and plan your strategy around that.

I realize that sounds really vague, but there are so many aspects to self-publishing, and so many things that can either cost $0 or $1,000, that it's worth jotting down the following first:

What you are comfortable & proficient with doing yourself (cover design? proofreading? making your own pre-order swag?)

What you have time for (things like social media, newsletters, and designing your own cover all take time)

What you have the money for (if you're going to spend money on anything, the conventional wisdom is cover design + editor)

What you have the energy for (book release speed, marketing, etc)

What your end goal is (publishing for fun? for a career? for something in between?)

Once you have all that jotted down, I'd plan out the following (and this is really starting from square one):

Your Books' Content

What genre do I want to write in? And do I want to put effort into targeting a sub-genre or sub-sub-genre (a successful strategy for career-focused indie authors), or would I prefer to keep myself flexible for creative purposes?

How much research do I want to put into this genre? A lot of intense indie authors will read a ton, research genre expectations, analyze tropes and covers, etc. But if you're just having fun, that's totally cool!

How quickly do I want to write? And the corollaries: do I want to write a bunch at once, then rapid-release? Or write and release one at a time?

What do I want my editing process to look like? I'd consider things like beta readers, sensitivity readers, and professional editors and/or proofreaders. (For later: don't forget about front and back matter, like copyright pages, acknowledgments, "leave a review and sign up for my newsletter!" pages, etc.)

Your Author Presence & Marketing

How do I want to appear as an author? Do you want to go all-out with a website, newsletter with reader magnets, Patreon and/or social media presence? Or pick and choose a few/none of those things? These are major time-sucks, and the conventional wisdom is that you don't want to try everything at once (particularly social media sites). Master one thing first, then move on to the next. (This is a, uh, do as I say and not as I do kinda situation...)

How do I want to handle cover design? Maybe the most important part of marketing besides your blurb. Please please don't skimp on it.

How do I price my books? Check other books in your genre and see what their average cost is.

What do I want my release strategy to look like? Pre-order goodies? ARCs? Giveaways?

Do I want to participate in any promos or paid advertising? The answer is typically 'no' at the beginning, but I've found BookFunnel to be helpful when it comes to distributing reader magnets and joining group promos.

The Technical & Business-y Aspects

(Not things you have to worry about right now, but things to eventually research and keep in mind.)

What format will my books be in? E-books are cheaper to produce than paperback and net you higher profits. But if you really wanna hold your book in your hand (like me) and write in a genre where readers buy paperbacks, then it could be worth planning for that as well.

How do I want to distribute my books? There are a ton of ways to distribute your book. Amazon, IngramSpark, Draft2Digital, Gumroad, Itchio, selling directly on a personal website, etc. If you also want your books in libraries and brick-and-mortar stores, that will impact your distribution strategy.

How will I typeset/format my book? You can do it through Word or Scrivener or even Reedsy's site, but there are also paid programs that make it easier and freelancers who can do it for you.

What sort of licenses do I need to sell books? The really not-fun part. Check your federal, state, county, and city for any required selling permits, business licenses, and tax rules. I'd also look into if you want to set up a DBA ("doing business as") or an EIN (basically a business tax ID number so you don't have to use your personal SSN).

What sort of ID numbers do my books need? For example, in the US, you need ISBN codes sold by Bowker. Not required for ebook, but required for paperback, with a separate code needed for hardcover, translations, or subsequent editions.

How do I copyright my books? For the US, it's the US Copyright Office.

(US Only) Do I want an LCCN (Library of Congress control #) for my book? This helps you get into libraries. If you want a #, you need to fill out a form before your book publishes.

Resources!

I realize this is a LOT to research. Please don't feel like you need to do all the research at once or know everything right away. Put most of your focus into writing and set aside some time to tackle the other topics as you go.

Here are some resources I found to be helpful:

FB Group: Wide for the Win (all about distributing across multiple platforms)

FB Group: 20Booksto50K (very business-focused, almost to a fault, and has some failings, but also has some great advice and detailed insights. I'd recommend using this page only if you're very serious about self-pub)

FB Group: Author Unleashed (great for getting blurb feedback!)

David Gaughran's "Starting from Zero" free online video course, all about marketing when you're totally new to the game

Tammi Lebrecque's Newsletter Ninja books and resources, if you want to delve into newsletters and reader magnets

The Complete Guide to Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Bucket Siler

The Indie Author's Bible by Christopher D Schmitz

Becca Syme's series for indie authors

A word of warning...

There are a lot of people out there making money off writing resources, aka selling mining equipment to the miners rather than mining themselves. There are thousands of self-publishing gurus with books, consultation packages, sales funnel advice, etc. Before you throw a lot of money at those resources, do some research and take a look at what other indie authors recommend first. (If it helps, I really do trust David Gaughran, Tammi Lebrecque, and Becca Syme for starters.)

Okay that's it!

That was a lot. I'm so sorry. I'm happy to answer any specific questions or concerns you have!

#writeblr #writblr #self publishing #indie authors #i wrote too much i'm so sorry

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just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi · 1 year

Text

TW: Pet whump, controlling whumper.

Mason sat back in his chair, eyes glazing over the two figures in front of him. Training assessment were free, mostly so he could more accurately price the actual training, but sometimes there were owners that brought in pets that frankly didn’t need training.

This owner was a good example of that.

“Let me repeat these real quick,” he said, leaning forward and cutting off the owner as they rambled. “You’re frustrated with your pet’s tendency to be clingy, talkativeness, tendency to touch things he shouldn’t, and wandering?”

“Yes!” The owner said, exasperated. “It’s awful, I get no peace and quiet when I get home from work, he’s always underfoot and -see! He’s doing it now!”

The pet froze, leaned over towards Mason’s desk to poke at the circular screw protectors. Bashfully, he pulled his hands back to his lap and looked down, color flooding to the tips of his ears. His hair was getting long, either needing to be trimmed or clipped back somehow.

Completely unrelated, Mason needed to make an appointment for Rudy at the groomer.

Mason stared at the owner, trying to find a better way to word what the fuck is wrong with you.

“Everything you’ve listed is just your pet’s personality.”

The owner gawked at him, clearly offended. “Pets don’t have personalities!”

Well, that wasn’t even worth a response. Mason reached down and opened the bottom drawer of his desk where he kept random toys for the boys when they came to the office with him. He pulled out a small cube with sliding parts and gave a short whistle to get the pet’s attention. The moment he snapped his head up, Mason tossed it carefully in his lap. Curiously, the boy started to twist and slide the pieces, turning it around in his hands to see how it worked.

“Wandering at night can be easily controlled with a lead or crate. Talkativeness can also be addressed, but it’s more likely connected to the other issues. He’s bored. He doesn’t get enough attention, and doesn’t have anything to do during the day.”

The owner folded their arms and huffed, indigent. “I get the impression you think I don’t take care of my pet. He gets plenty of attention, I promise you that. You saw earlier! I’m constantly having to fix his behavior and stop him from annoying me or others. He’s always underfoot.”

Mason merely raised a brow and looked pointedly at the boy, who was now sitting quietly as he fiddled with the toy.

“You just think you’re better than us, asshole. Get up, we’re leaving. No, leave the stupid square you’re not taking it with you.”

Sometimes the assessments were also to save Mason the headache of working with some clients.

~~~

The boys were happy as always to see him when he got home. Excited but manageable, just how he liked. There was nothing special planned for tonight, just the normal routine of dinner and resting before bed. Something kept pestering Mason, popping up again and again in the back of his head.

In the middle of the TV show, he reached down and cupped Rudy’s chin, directing the boy to look up at thim. Rudy wasn’t afraid of him, eyes bright and waiting for instruction.

“You know how lucky you are, don’t you Rudy? Not all owners are as good with you boys as I am.”

Rudy smiled warmly at him. “Of course. Thank you, Master, for taking such good care of us.”

Mason rubbed his head and let him return to watching TV. Damn right he took care of them.

#mason is good at his job #pet whump

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tapioca-puddingg · 3 months

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One, the Goddess of Diligence: A Drakengard 3 Analysis

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

Hey, it's been a while since I've done one of these. I took a break from doing these long analyses in favor of shorter and quicker content just because it's easier on my brain. I apologize to those that I may have kept waiting with this one, but I'm back now.

If you're new to my blog, I post analyses about video game characters that I think are interesting, amongst other things. This is my Seven Deadly Sins/Heavenly Virtues series of Drakengard 3. And do be sure to like, reblog or leave a comment if you enjoy my insane ramblings.

"Facing the people crowding the streets, I gave a wave from atop my steed. This caused them to cheer even louder, and I felt the animal tense beneath me. I am not fond of horses due to their strong odor, but in this case I could sympathize with the beast. We were both being forced to parade our way from the harbor towards the cathedral. I would have preferred to have snuck back after sunset; I wanted to be alone. My mind, exhausted from battle, sorely needed a rest. But I was not allowed to be so selfish. It was my duty as an Intoner to symbolize order and peace having returned to the world, even if that meant being made a spectacle of. And how could the innocent people know that their cries of elation were causing me, with my heightened senses, to feel as if my head were being split in two?"

One is the second eldest Intoner sister and is the head of the Cathedral City. As the second eldest, she is the leader of the Intoner sisters. She is level-headed, intelligent, and capable. Not to mention the fact that she is well-respected by her younger sisters. Of the Intoner sisters, One is the most interesting in my opinion. She's the only Intoner that becomes self-aware and questions the world around her.

As with the others, One's novella gives us more insight into her thought processes, as well as her struggles and curiosities. She behaves as you'd expect; calm, composed, deliberate, thoughtful, calculated. Every move she makes has an intent and a purpose, and her logic is always sound. As I said a second ago, she’s the only Intoner to question their collective existence; where they came from, why they’re so powerful, etc. Her assessment of her sisters is objective, as she sees the good and the bad in all of them. As such, she does her best to position them for success as leaders in each of their respective lands, and tries to play to their individual strengths. For instance, she tasks Two with governing the Land of Sands in hopes that her optimistic nature could lift the spirits of the citizens, given how hard life in the Land of Sands is.

And yet, One has her own struggles, just like any of us would. Each Intoner deals with a certain bodily aspect that continuously grows at an alarming rate. Two's physical strength/muscles, Three's hair, Four's fingernails, Five's breasts, and One's senses continue to grow far faster than that of a normal human. For One, it is easy for her to become overstimulated due to her heightened sense of smell, hearing, touch, taste, and sight. The taste of food is too intense, the body odor of humans and animals are too strong, and even the feeling of clothes on her body can be uncomfortable. It's the reason why she's always in solitude. Damn, she just like me fr. Anyway, on top of having to shoulder so much responsibility on her own due to Zero's absence, she also is having to battle with heightened senses that hinder her everyday life. That takes a lot of strength.

"A disciple is a tool for battle. But it didn’t feel right using someone else as a weapon. So instead, I created a copy of myself. And since it was a copy… no matter what happened to it, it would always forgive me. Or I would forgive myself, I suppose. I used the Cathedral’s magical energy to infuse my copy with disciple-like powers. More than enough to take on the lords of these lands. Thus, I gained a partner I could rely on. And a way to forgive myself for what I had to do."

Not counting Zero, One was the only Intoner to not be given a disciple. She created Brother One from one of her ribs as both a combat partner and a failsafe in case she died. She also admits in her Prologue that she was lonely, so I'm sure that also may have been a factor in this decision. One is also vastly introspective, always pondering over philosophical or moral dilemmas. She notes the benefits of having a disciple and lists her sisters' main motivators in their lives: sex, honor, cruelty, and romance respectively. But she struggles to answer what it is that she truly desires in this life. In being the primary leader, she's bound by so much responsibility and duty that she doesn't really get to be herself, whatever that may mean. She always has to put the needs of everyone else before herself.

"You pretend to be all grown-up and mature, but you haven’t changed since childhood. We all need some kind of mental support, you know? Even Intoners. Heck, you probably need it MORE than the rest of us." "I suppose there’s some truth to that. Perhaps we’re weaker than we’d like to admit." "Aw, come ON! You’re supposed to get all mad and yell and stuff! I don’t like this pensive you. Quit messing with my head!"

Gabriella, being the boss bitch that she is, calls out One for shouldering too much responsibility on her own. One agrees with this, which, surprisingly, catches Gabriella off guard. What I find really interesting is that she says, "I don't like this pensive you." This implies that One used to respond negatively to Gabriella's brutal honesty but has grown since then.

And speaking of Gabriella, I wanna talk about her for a bit before I move on. Her personality so unique from all the other characters in the game. It feels like if you took a person from the real world and plopped them into a video game. They say that a dragon can see a person's heart, their true nature. And she always lives up to that expectation. The One/Gabriella partnership is almost opposite to the Zero/Mikhail partnership. Mikhail is a literal child and Zero is sort of motherly to him. She softens up to Mikhail more and more as you progress through the other branches. Even though their dynamic is short-lived, Gabriella is like an aunt. She doesn't mince words, but I got the impression that she does care about One at least a little bit. She sees some good in her. So that has me wondering, what the hell happened to her? By the time the main game starts, Gabriella has been replaced by Gabriel, and Zero states that he's a demon dragon whose power has been enhanced to fight off her and Mikhail. She was about to talk about the consequence of doing such a thing, but she trailed off before the line was finished. One of the last things Gabriella says is that she's the boss of her own fate. With her being so headstrong, I can't imagine her going along with being transformed in this way. Perhaps she agreed to do it because she grew to trust One? We may never know this tidbit.

"If you think you’re the only one suffering here, you’re out of your goddamn mind! Two, Three, Four, Five… You gave life to each and every one of them. Then you went and killed them all! What did you expect? Cursing the world then saving the world. You thought you could do everything by yourself? Well, THIS IS WHAT YOU FUCKING GET!"

As for the events of the main game, she is the voice of authority, as usual. By the end of Branch A, she's killed by Zero and is then killed by Two in Branch B. But come Branch C and D is where things get more interesting. By both branches, One is completely self-aware. She knows that the Intoners originate from Zero and that the Flower won't stop until it destroys the world. One has reached the same conclusion as Zero in that the Intoners should not exist, as they pose a major threat to the world. However, this is where they clash. Their goals lie within their names. Zero wants all the Intoners to be killed, including herself. One believes that she herself should be the only surviving Intoner. Maybe that's why the two of them share the same color scheme: they're more similar than they are different.

One hopes that her and Zero are able to understand each other since they both have a mutual understanding of their place in the world. But Zero of course shuts down the idea, calling her an "offshoot." Despite literally fighting for her life, she remained calm for a lot of this fight, but she does break her composure in the above quote. It's about time. She points out the contradictory nature of the situation, the fact that Zero created the Intoners just to destroy them in the end. She's technically not wrong, but we know that it's not the whole truth.

I mentioned One's loneliness earlier, and another wrinkle in this is the fact that she becomes the only sentient Intoner. Throughout the entire main story, she's aware of the aforementioned info about their link to the Flower, but she keeps it to herself. Maybe she thinks that her sisters wouldn't understand. And during the later branches, when the other Intoners start to become driven insane by the Flower's influence, she's the only one to remain sane. By sheer willpower alone! She is killed in all branches, never getting to bring peace to this world the way she envisioned. I start to feel bad for her when I think about it like this.

Because I gave her the title of the Goddess of Diligence, this would make her a foil to Three, as diligence and sloth are opposites. Both women have proven to be highly intelligent and curious. The difference being the way they wield their knowledge, right? Three constantly uses her intelligence for her own self-indulgence, without a thought or care of the people she's victimized. One, whether you agree with her actions or not, does what she believes is the right thing for the greater good of humanity.

Her last appearance is in the Final Song. Because she is an odd number, her dance is asymmetrical. One is usually so composed, and yet here she is, thrashing and flailing about. She's not at all timed to the music, nor is there a direction. Her movements are more controlled than Three's, for instance. But not as controlled as the others. Almost seems as if she's fighting. Fighting for control of her fate? Fighting for the peace that she envisioned? Perhaps fighting for her own autonomy.

TLDR: One was an intelligent, capable leader that only sought to do the right thing. Because Zero had no intention of being a leader, she was given a mountain of responsibilities to bear alone, until she created Brother One. She was also someone that dealt with her share of loneliness, as well as overwhelming sensory issues. She died by Zero's hand and shared the same fate as her other sisters, never getting to enact the peace that she wanted.

AFTERTHOUGHT:

Phew! I changed things up this time around bc I felt that it flowed better this way. If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading and I do hope you enjoyed it. And I do apologize again for those that had to wait such a long time for this. I promise that I never forgot about these analyses, I just put them off bc they require a lot of brain power. Anyways tho, that's the post. Dunno when I'll start doing Zero's, but it'll probably be in two or three parts. Thanks again, until the next post!

#drakengard #drakengard 3 #dod3 #drag on dragoon #drag on dragoon 3 #intoner #intoners #intoner one #square enix #yoko taro #analysis #videogamewomen

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finkinthisfrew · 8 months

Text

Anything (Pt.2)

A Matty Healy Fanfic

cw: non-lifethreatening burns

Chapter 2

I came to in what can only be described as a very peculiar situation. I was fully clothed, laying in a bathtub, soaking wet. Above me, I could see concrete ceilings with warm glowing lights, and a hand holding a showerhead. Cold water poured over my chest, and I sat upright quickly in a panic. Turning to see the owner of the hand, I was once again met with those chocolate eyes.

"What the fuck?" I said sitting up, head spinning too much to cringe at my ineloquence.

"I'm so sorry, I know this must be terrifying, but we're just in my flat which is above the coffee shop you were just at." My face must have shown my lack of understanding, so he continued. "I was being a complete bellend and was rushing to get to a meeting I was extremely late for and wasn't looking where I was going. I ran directly into you and when we crashed, my coffee poured all over you. I think with the fall and the shock from the hot coffee you passed out. I didn't know what else to do and your chest was bright red so I grabbed you and took you up here. Fuck me, I'm never asking for my coffee extra hot ever again..." he said, his hands in his head.

He looked up and said with such sincerity "I cannot begin to explain how sorry I am."

The shock from everything must have disoriented me because the first thought that I voiced was: "But what about your meeting?"

Caught off guard, he looked at me in confusion and then broke into a smile. It was such a charming smile. If I wasn't so disoriented I would have had half a mind to flirt with the handsome stranger who was taking care of me. I also would have half a mind to get up and run, but this man's energy was too genuine, too earnest, for me to feel in any danger.

"I called and cancelled it. Too busy burning beautiful strangers to do business today." He said rolling his eyes, half-flirting, half-self-patronizing. I laughed in response.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, the twinkle in his eyes replaced with concern.

"I think I'm okay." I stopped to assess myself. "I just feel a bit dazed, but otherwise I think I feel fine," I continued.

At that moment I felt myself begin to shiver. He must have noticed too because he then pulled the showerhead away and started to reach for a towel, but as soon as he did, my chest began to burn with such pain that all I could say was "Oh my God no, bring it back."

"Fuck, sorry!" he said, eyes pained as he turned the showerhead back to my burn. "I'm sorry I didn't think this through. I soaked all your clothes... Fuck I'm so sorry, I didn't know what else to do."

"That's okay," I said through chattering teeth.

"Here, hold this," he said, handing me the showerhead. "I'll be right back." He ran out of the bathroom, leaving me by myself. I shifted myself to let the water pour down my chest, avoiding my legs so I wouldn't feel as cold.

Waiting for the stranger to return, still in a bit of a daze, I looked around at my surroundings. The bathroom was thoughtfully decorated- nothing like the bathrooms of the men in my life. The entire room was concrete with high ceilings and a large frosted window. A few ivory towels were hanging on the wall and a bottle of Aesop soap sat next to a beautiful arrangement of dried flowers on the green-tiled sink. Unlit candles sat along a wood shelf that ran along the tub, and a beautiful Moroccan rug lay on the ground, bringing warmth to the almost art gallery-type style of the room.

As I looked around, I reflected on how oddly comfortable I felt, aside from the shivering. The stranger didn't feel like a stranger, somehow. His personality felt... almost familiar.

"Okay," I heard, as the man entered the bathroom again a few minutes later, arms full, breaking my train of thought.

Setting everything down on the wooden stool he'd previously been sitting on, he kneeled next to the tub and rambled on quickly: "Okay, so here is a mug of tea to warm you up a bit, I've only got peppermint though, I hope that's okay, and here are some painkillers- I could only find Advil but I'm pretty sure I've got some T3's hiding somewhere, I just need an extra minute to find them if you'd prefer those. I wasn't sure what would fit you, so I brought a few options- you can borrow those for as long as you like, hell you could even keep them, uhm, right and your burn, we can soak a towel in some cold water to put on it until the ice in my freezer freezes and I can put it in a bag for you- I apologize, I'm one of those knobheads who never refill the tray, so we'll have to wait a bit for that..."

He must have read my shock as fear, because he then added "And the door to leave is just through this room, straight ahead at the end of this hall down the stairs, just so you know- I don't want you to feel like a hostage. You don't have to stay," he said, wide-eyed. "I just feel bad soaking all your clothes. And for bulldozing you. And for burning you. Fuck, I've really made such a mess of things for you, I am so incredibly sorry."

Realizing I hadn't yet, I accepted his apology. "Thank you, but it's really not a big deal. I'm just in a bit of a shock, but I think I'm okay." I said, looking down at myself, not seeing any blisters or blood anywhere. His eyes still looked pained, so I tagged on "I forgive you, you know," playfully, and his tense face seemed to soften a bit, smiling back at me. "You really shouldn't, I really am trouble," he said winking cheekily.

I then realized that my initial shock was wearing off, and it was being replaced by a new one. This man was so incredibly handsome. His chocolate eyes were framed with beautiful dark brown curls that fell across his forehead perfectly. His eyes crinkled with such kindness and warmth, I felt my stomach flutter. His smile was upending, impossible to not smile back at. I had just noticed his chest tattoo peaking through the top of his white t-shirt when I saw he had a brown stain all over his front.

"Wait, are you okay?" I said, pointing to the coffee stain. He looked down to see the stain he'd clearly forgotten about. "Oh yeah, no I'm totally fine. Honestly, I think you took the brunt of it, poor thing. Again, really sorry about that."

"You say sorry a lot," I responded, smiling.

"I have lots to be sorry about, unfortunately," he said, chuckling lightly.

"You sure you don't want a turn?" I asked, gesturing to the showerhead.

"Yeah, no I think I'm fine." He said, scowling playfully.

I must have been concussed slightly because I then said "Actually... I think you're not being totally honest with me. I think you might like a turn." I then turned the shower head to him, quickly and lightly spraying him before returning the stream of water to my burn.

Mouth agape, he looked at me and said "You little minx." I giggled in response. "You DID assault me and then soak all my clothes... I think it's only fair..." I said with a devilish tone.

"You wouldn't dare," he scoffed.

That was all the encouragement I needed, and he must have seen that in my eyes because right as I turned the showerhead back at him, he hopped up to his feet. Both of us laughing, he stretched his arms out to block the cold water that now soaked him.

"Mercy, mercy!" he begged while laughing.

I lowered the stream of water, and I momentarily admired the new tattoos I could see through his now-soaked t-shirt. Taking advantage of my mercy, he lunged at my hands to grab the showerhead from me. I turned to pull it out of his reach, but he was faster, arms around me gripping at the handle.

"Now you're in trouble, pet" he laughed, and I squealed in his arms as he sprayed me. I wriggled around trying to escape the stream and I yelled "I yield!" when he lowered the stream back to my burn, both still laughing, his arm still around my waist.

Our giggles dying down, we stood there, much too close for two strangers.

The energy shifted as we both noticed the intimacy of the moment. Panting from the laughter, he looked down at me as I looked up at him. His eyes, whatever was going on behind them, did something to me- my stomach sent into a frenzy of summersaults. His curls dripped with water down onto my face, a single drop hanging from his parted lips. I looked back up from his lips to his eyes and saw his eyes returning to mine from my own lips. We stood there for what could have been hours or seconds, I couldn't tell from all the butterflies that roared in my stomach.

Overwhelmed, I dropped my gaze, the intensity of the moment causing me to break it. He cleared his throat and pulled his arm away, once again apologizing.

"Sorry really is your favourite word, isn't it?" I said, attempting to break the tension. Once again, he smiled and I felt woozy from it.

"Not my favourite, but it's definitely up there." He said, handing me a towel with a cheeky smile. He grabbed another towel and started to pat his hair dry.

"I'll leave you to change, I'm going to go change too after my well-deserved payback soaking." He winked before he continued "Take your time. Once you've finished you can meet me in the living room- it's through here, past the stairs, at the end of the hallway."

"Thank you," I said, genuinely. We smiled at each other, as he pulled the door shut behind him.

Shell-shocked, I turned to look at myself in the mirror. I stared at my soaked and stained clothes, hair dripping wet, and face bewildered.

What have I gotten into?

#matty the 1975 #the 1975 #matty healy #at their very best #trumanblack #bfiafl #tenderness #caring #lovers #love #fanfic #fanfiction

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