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dancingazaleas · 3 years

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𖨆. 02 / all for us

summary: you’ve finally decided it was time to eat and bathe, but now that you aren’t worried about starving to death, you’re getting homesick. maybe a cup of tea and a movie is the best.

note: i, now, have a taglist for this series especially!! here’s the taglist form!! it will also be posted on the series masterlist!! much love <33

word count: +3.0k

warnings/notes: starvation, manipulation, abuse, slight panic attack, thoughts of suicide

IT'S been five days since you've had anything to eat.

your body is so weak from the lack of nutrients that you can't stand up on your own. your head is constantly aching from lack of food and you keep getting dizzy.

you feel like you're on the brink of death now, you can't even get out of bed to get yourself water out of your sink, shortening your life span if you keep this up. you feel yourself crying as you roll your body off of the bed and onto the floor.

hissing in pain, you dig your nails into the spruce hardwood floor.

"you are not weak for this. you're surviving," you whisper to yourself as you push yourself forwards with your arms.

it's so painful with the bruises. they rub up against your clothing, already irritating them a bit more than before, and now it's having pressure added onto it. your tears are blocking your sight, but you push on anyways. the door has never felt so far away.

you almost perk up when your nails scratch at the door. with weak fists, you bang at the door and call for one of the men that has captured you. your tears are dripping on the ground below you, forming a small puddle as they all bunch together.

"please," you croak, "please..."

the door is being unlocked and you feel as if all of your strength has been used at that moment. you lay still as your breath falters from your sobbing.

the door bumps against your head, shooting a sharp pain through your head. you can't find strength to care about it.

"so you're finally ready to listen. you look pathetic," you don't have to look up to tell it's levi speaking to you.

he calls out to erwin, telling him to fix you small and easy meal and to get you new clothes. he squats down and takes you into his arms bridal style.

if you weren't crying and letting out weak sobs, he would think your dead. you're so limp in his arms and your eyes are empty and droopy as they stare right through him. and it creeps him out.

he takes you into a bathroom with a tub, setting you gently on the toilet. he doesn't bother locking the door behind him, you're too weak to run away right now. levi's preparing you a bath, walking back and forth as he gets towels and soaps and checking the water.

you hiccup as you watch levi starting to remove that collar and chains around your neck, and you feel like a weight has been lifted off of your chest, literally. he's undressing you, obviously trying to avert his cold eyes away from your body. you're gently laid in the bath, head resting against the rim.

levi's quiet as he pours a warm cup of water over your hair and face, squatting down to reach your level.

"stupid," he scoffs as he lathers up shampoo in his hands. he washes your hair gently.

"this isn't mine and erwin's fault," he shakes his head while he pours water over your head, "it's your fault. you refused our care."

you don't argue back, too tired to even think of a comeback. you also don't feel like getting beat any more than you already are. your eyelids are getting heavy, immediately shutting them as soon as you feel the pressure on them.

levi stares, mouth slightly parted as you breathe in and out through your nose. your cheek was sprinkled in the color crimson, his own handiwork made him cringe. he just sighs, now brushing through your locks of hair with conditioner coated on his hands.

he rinses his hands off, letting the conditioner stay there just for a few seconds so it can soak in. his eyes trail down your body, stopping at your bruised breast. he didn't even realize he hit you there.

he shrugs it off and gathers water into the small cup in his hand, pouring it over your head. he expects you to jump up at the water over your head but all you do is mumble. he wants to wash your body, specifically your underarms, but with you half asleep and barely able to stand on your own without him holding onto you, he can't.

he clicks his tongue and pulls out the cover up blocking the drain. he grabs you by the arm, ignoring the whimper of pain that you let out, and pulls you up onto your wobbling feet. he helps you step out of the tub and wraps a fluffy pink towel around your shoulders, carefully sitting you onto the toilet again.

the bath water is a little murky and levi cringes at it because he knows it'll leave a ring around the tub. he'll clean it up later.

erwin's opening the door, a pile of clothes in his large hands.

"she's all tuckered out," he chuckles, handing off the clothes to levi.

"yeah. don't know how, she's barely done anything. must be the hunger or something," levi shrugs and watches the folded clothing come undone as he holds the hemline between his fingers.

"maybe we were too harsh on her."

"no, we weren't. we can't trust her. believe it or not, but forks can hurt whenever you put force into them when you stab someone. she could've hurt one of us or herself," he folds the clothes over his arm and holds out a hand.

erwin hands him underwear, "i suppose you're right."

"i'm always right," levi carefully puts on your underwear for you.

erwin rolls his eyes at levi's comment, "make sure to dry her hair."

"i know what i'm doing," he snaps, "go put her food in her room."

erwin complies, swinging the door shut behind him as he goes to fetch your food.

you've barely processed their conversation, too focused on levi's hands putting you in a satin light grey nightgown that ends just below your knees. the bishop sleeves keep your arms warm and cold at the same time, in fact, the whole material of the dress does as well. the neckline is a v-neck, not that you mind too much because of the risk you might get too hot.

"do i...," you manage to mumble, "do i have to wear this to sleep...?"

"yeah, unless you feel like sleeping in just underwear. i don't think you want that though," he scoffs as he towels off your damp hair.

you don't reply, far too tired to even say a 'whatever' to him. you let your forehead come into contact with his hip, taking in the cold temperature radiating off of his body. you want to nuzzle into his hip, but thankfully you have enough will to not do so. it reminds you of your friend, pieck, and her cat like tendencies. the memory has you letting out a pained laugh.

levi can feel his face getting warmer at every movement you make with your head, but he manages to play it off because of the towel blocking your view. he throws the towel into the basket by the tub, hand silently stroking at the back of your head in comfort.

it doesn't give you comfort. but you don't let it show.

levi's grabbing a hair brush, a clean and new one, and running it through your (hair type) locks. there are far too many tangles from the lack of care you've been giving your hair, but not enough to make a knot.

levi then pulls out a block of deodorant from the cabinet below the sink. it's unused and you can smell the scent of flowers on it as he brings it closer. his hands slide up your dress with caution, trying to avoid coming into contact with your bruised body.

he manages to put on the deodorant easily. he picks you back up with a grunt, eyebrows furrowing at your pained expression. he's placing you back onto your bed in just a matter of seconds, throwing the covers over your legs.

erwin's sitting at the edge of your bed, holding a fork with food already on it. your eyes are droopy while you look at erwin.

you don't eat a lot, they're in fear that you might throw everything up if fed too fast. you don't blame them, you haven't eaten in five miserable days. it's best to be cautious.

"scooby...," you manage to whisper out, eyes fluttering shut.

"she wants to watch scooby doo even though she's already asleep," levi huffs with the shaking of his head, grabbing the tray from erwin's hands.

erwin follows after levi, closing the door behind the both of them and locking it.

"she seems to be getting adjusted," erwin notes while standing behind levi and watching him wash the dishes.

"only because she was on the brink of death. let's just hope she learned from it," levi's aggressively scrubbing the plate with a sponge.

————

you lay in your bed a few days later, the feeling of homesickness is eating you up inside. did no one care? did anyone even notice you vanished? where was everyone? what were they doing?

you think of zeke. the man you were sort of dating, it's complicated. well, it was. now, it's just nonexistent.

zeke was out of the country for a bit, something to do with work. he left you with a kiss on the forehead and a hug. you wonder if he's texted you.

you think of pieck. oh my god, she's had to have noticed by now. she's your best friend, she lives with you. but the memory of the two of you fighting right before you were kidnapped comes flooding back, and you deflate. if you weren't in the house then pieck would probably think it was normal.

what about porco? reiner? your guys friends who act like guard dogs towards you. where were they? did they notice? surely they had to, you never not text them back.

bertholdt? your close friend that you also worked with him. he was a music prodigy and he texted you almost everyday. did he notice?

you're breathing erratically as you sit up and clutch your hands over your ringing ears. where were they? where even was your phone?

you're gonna get killed before you can tell any of them that you love them. the thought has you crying and tugging at your hair. you were so mean to pieck before you were kidnapped. you hadn't talked to zeke since the day of your kidnapping, who probably wasn't worried because he was busy with work.

when will you see them again? will you ever even get to see them again?

'maybe after death,' you think, eyes darting up to the mirror on your vanity.

you slap yourself upside the head, slapping away the thought. you struggle to get onto your feet, but when you do, you're banging at the door for levi and erwin again.

you have to know if they're okay, to know if they know you're gone. you step away from the door at the sound of keys jingling and their footsteps.

"what are you freaking out about now," levi's being followed by erwin.

"my friends... did.. did you tell them i was okay," with a boost of confidence, your gripping at levi's biceps.

"get your filthy hands off of me," he smacks them away.

"yes, we did tell them you were going away. we said you decided on a vacation," erwin speaks and watches your eyes dart back to the mirror.

"fuck," you whisper to yourself. everyone would believe you'd go on vacation, you had been stressed with your job for the past month.

"levi's gonna make you some tea and then we can all chat, we were about to do so anyways," erwin's hand rubs at your back as he pulls you close to him.

levi leaves the room, following the orders of erwin. erwin, on the other hand, is cooing at you.

"no one's going to miss you," he whispers in a sweet tone and it gives you goosebumps, "no one at all."

you know it's not true. it can't be true. zeke would miss you. reiner would miss you, pieck, porco, bertholdt. they'd all miss you.... right?

"we're the only ones who care, no one else cares," his grip tightens.

"want to know what that girl said," you hear the arrogance in his voice, and you can't do anything to stop it since he's buried your face in his chest.

"she said she was glad you were on vacation. she said that it was good that she didn't have to see you," yoy hiccup against his chest, pieck couldn't have said that, right?

he pulls away finally, satisfied at your expressionless face—if you overlook the tears. you can't give in, pieck would never say that. never in a million years would she say that, even if she hated your guts.

right?

levi comes back in, hands holding a tray that has teacups and a pot of tea on it. levi goes to the area with three chairs, setting the tray onto the coffee table and sitting himself down in one. erwin follows behind him, leaving the chair in between them open for you to sit.

they stare at you expectedly, it makes you uncomfortable so you decide to just deal with it and sit with them.

"what tea is this," erwin asks while levi pours everyone a cup.

"earl grey, what else do we have," levi hands a cup to erwin and then to you.

you hold it by the handle, silently admiring the cup's delicate and intricate design. you try to ignore the voice in the back of your head to break it on the ground and slash your neck open. you want to drink it too, it smells absolutely perfect, but if you hold it any longer you might just listen to that voice.

you set it back down, left hand immediately grabbing at your right wrist. you didn't trust yourself to make a move on your own, if you did you fear it might end up with a shard of glass at your throat.

erwin's ice eyes stare at your wrist and hand, taking in how your knuckles were white and the skin on your arm was reddening.

"just say if you want handcuffs," erwin sips at his tea and looks away.

"what," you flinch at his voice interrupting the quiet that was once there.

his comment has you looking at your hands, which you let go of at the sight of the irritation.

"sorry," you shrug and lean back in your chair.

"good. can't have you hurting your hands," levi comments, eyes staring outside of the bay window.

"speaking of that," you sigh, "why do you always leave my hands alone. you've shown no mercy to my arms, so why my hands?"

"when you're good enough, you'll be allowed to play the piano," erwin crosses a leg over the other, ankle resting on his knee.

"play? for who? there's no one in this empty house but us," you scoff and cross your arms.

"me. and there's more people here than you think," levi's giving you a small smirk, "you're just separated from them."

"it's hard to believe that you have friends, levi," you mumble loud enough for them to hear. your comment has erwin chuckling and levi rolling his eyes.

"i have friends, believe it or not. watch your attitude," he's putting his tea back onto the tray.

"i don't have an attitude," you sound like a child arguing with their parent.

erwin butts in the conversation before levi can get mad, "anyways, we will allow you to play if we think you've been good enough. levi likes the piano, remember?"

you bite down on your tongue to stop the words 'no but i remember getting kidnapped!!' from coming out of your mouth.

"when can i leave this room, it's too stuffy in here?"

"did you not just listen to erwin? he said when we feel you've been good enough. you've got to start by loosing the attitude," levi snaps his fingers irritatedly.

"how am i supposed to act?!"

"obedient," erwin's now standing over your chair, hands gripping the arms as he leans over you.

"like a dog," you look to levi at the sound of his voice, you try to make yourself smaller.

"you have on a chain and collar for a reason, don't you," erwin smiles gently, hand taking ahold of the chains while he stands up straight.

you choke when erwin tugs the chains towards himself, head knocking right against his stomach while the chains swing in the air and curl around his arm. his other arm swiftly grabs at jaw and forces you to look up at him with your chin pressed to his body.

erwin feels himself harden at the sight, your eyes are widened and your mouth his agape and panting because of the sudden cut off of air.

"just like that," he strokes his thumb along your jaw while you wonder what's caused a sudden change in him these past few days; he used to be so gentle. oh right, kidnapping.

his words have you turning hot, embarrassment hugging you from behind. it wasn't like you easily complied, you were forced to do so. you're also embarrassed because you can feel his hard-on against your sternum, and while you haven't thought about it before, you realize that erwin is fucking hung. you hope that you're not too good for them.

you're saying prayers in your head whenever levi speaks up, "i thought we came in here to watch a movie or something."

erwin lets you go, chains dropping from his arm as he does so. you sigh in relief as erwin grabs the remote from your bed and turns the tv on. you huff while you flop onto your bed and crawl up under your covers, knowing that you'll probably just fall asleep as you watch the movie.

unfortunately, this gives off the impression that you would like to be cuddled. levi's sliding under the covers with you, chest pressing against your back with arms wrapped around your waist. erwin follows soon after, inserting himself in your arms as he scrolls through the different movies at his disposal on the television. you're slightly frustrated at all of the physical contact, but you know that if you reject their advances it'll end up bad for you.

"put on heather's, please," you ask, which erwin obliges to.

as the movie goes on, you hope that they get the message.

you'll be veronica, and they'll be jd.

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oceansrevenge · 2 years

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And All That Jazz || Kitty & Marina

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @kallmekitty & @oceansrevenge SUMMARY: Kitty delivers on her offer to show Marina better music than the spring breaker’s delivered on the beach.

So, Kitty had agreed to show a stranger on the internet a local place. This was familiar. On the bright side, she didn’t think she’d be agreeing to get bitten and turned into a monster for the sake of feeling closer to magic and the supernatural, so she thought that maybe she was going to be okay. She could probably fight her way or of it. Maybe. She was hopeful. She was dressed to intimidate in her heels, anyway, so unless “Marina” was 6’2 and stronger than a werewolf, Kitty would probably be fine. She waited outside of the Siren’s Serenade, smoking the last little bit of her cigarette and checking her phone as she waited, watching a few dog videos on Twitter before she answered her texts. Ari wasn’t working that night, so she wouldn’t be able to bother her during her shift, but that was alright. It’d still be fun, she’d make sure of it.

A long time ago, Marina had enjoyed music and the dancing it inspired. After so long spent in the quiet of a cave and the surrounding waters, she’d grown used to the quiet. At first, it had been maddening. Now, she quite missed it. The constant booming on the shore had grown old quickly. She hoped this Kitty would truly be showing her more tasteful music. This world was unfamiliar to Marina now and it required to keep some company that wasn’t necessarily preferred by her standards. She wore a simple cream dress and sandals that she was told were fashionable. As she approached the siren bar, she saw a redhead outside finishing off a smoke. This looked like the ginger she was supposed to be meeting. Her hair was appealing and she didn’t mind the smoking. A bit foolish for humans shortening their already short lives, but that was none other business. She approached the girl with a waving gesture she had observed others using. “Hello,” she said coolly as her eyes glossed over Kitty, “You are Kitty, yes?”

Kitty stamped her cigarette out under her heel and straightened up as she turned to the woman that was approaching her, giving a bright smile. “Howdy,” she said. “Kitty is indeed my name. Or one of ‘em. Can never have too many, you know?” It was a boon, really, she thought, that Katherine was such a versatile name. She certainly appreciated it and its many uses. “Which means you’re Marina?” she asked. “Nice to meet ya. Welcome to the Siren’s Serenade.” She wondered if she needed to specify that, as far as she knew, there weren’t any actual sirens. She thought she’d save that one for if the question was asked. “Live jazz music playing tonight, like I said, and they’ve got a nicely stocked bar. Good place to get a drink and listen to some music. Karaoke nights are always fun as a lotta folks that love to sing don’t know how, so they’re just up their wailing it out, and it’s the worst!” She opened the door for Marina. “After you?”

There was something curious about what Kitty had said. You could never have too many names. Marina couldn’t help but agree, she had some names on stowaway from unsuspecting humans should she ever need them, but Kitty was not fae. The buzzing that was both familiar and comforting was not present. To her knowledge, there weren’t other species that could steal names the way fae could. “I do, indeed,” she answered as she eyed Kitty curiously, “How many names do you have?” With the welcome to the establishment, she eyed the building. It wasn’t anything particularly special, but she could hear the music coming from inside. There was much less booming which was already a drastic improvement from the festival on the beach. As they walked in, she took note of the environment. It reminded her of early taverns and brought a fond smile to her face. This was something the humans of today did for fun that was familiar. The music was pleasant and very horn heavy. Different from the music she knew from her youth, but lively in its way. Easy to dance to. “I like this jazz,” she said approvingly, “Your choice in musical entertainment is approved. I don’t think I would have enjoyed the wailing much. Drinks will be on me. I tricked a man out of something called a wallet earlier. It came with lots of currency.”

Marina approached the bar top that all of the alcohol was behind. None of it was familiar to her. Back in her day, she had always enjoyed mead. It looked like they had a far larger variety than any tavern she’d ever seen. She gestured to Kitty to order and told the barkeep, “I will have what she’s having.” They took a seat on some of the wooden stools and awaited their beverages. She found it easy to sway slightly to this music and looked amused when she looked over to Kitty. “Is this jazz music popular? I’ll admit, I’m a bit out of the loops with what people enjoy these days.”

“However many names you can make out of Katherine,” Kitty said jokingly before she added, “and then some. ‘You bitch’ was a popular one in high school.” She led the other woman in and was pleased when she seemed pleased. Kitty had a reputation to uphold. Well, really, she had several reputations, all of them different, but one of them was knowing how to have a good time, and she wanted to make sure that Marina had a good time. Plus, there was something about Marina that just said that maybe she shouldn’t piss this woman off. But, hey, she liked jazz.”Jazz ain’t my usual thing, but I can dig it, you know? Glad you enjoy it, though. Always appreciative of when my taste is appreciated. She raised an eyebrow at Marina’s blatant talk of stealing, but she wasn’t going to call her out too bad. After all, drinks were on her. “Just be careful and don’t mention that to the bartender. Stealin’s a crime, you know.”

Well, now the pressure was on. Kitty looked at the alcohol and contemplated. She drank here enough to know what liquor they had on the shelves, and she’d worked as a bartender in whatever towns would let her get away with it without proper training. She’d tended a few frat parties in Athens, Georgia, bunch of ritzy guys that spent money to get more than a few kegs. The tips had been nice. “What are you in the mood for? Beer or liquor? Something sweet or something strong? Or something both? Neither? We got choices, honey.” She tapped her hand on her chin. “Jazz used to be real popular. Less so know. Popular music is…” she snorted. “Some of it’s probably what you’ve been hearing on the beach.”

“Katherine,” Marina repeated slowly to see how it felt on her tongue, “I much prefer Kitty. It suits you. Hopefully the ‘you bitch’ one won’t be necessary. You’ve been kind thus far.” The horns blared in the background and she was quite pleased with this music. It was upbeat but not overly loud, plus, she’d always had a soft spot for horns. They always reminded her of a maenad she knew in her youth. He had been quite the horn player and brought merriment with him wherever he went. Even the waters and trees seemed to enjoy when Orpheus played. A fond smile crossed her face as she thought of her young love. She swayed a bit with the rhythm and let out a harsh laugh. “I’d hardly call it stealing. He gave it over quite willingly and there was no threat of violence. Loose lips just happen to sink ships… or make you part ways with items you’d rather keep.”

Not that theft particularly bothered Marina, at least not when it was humans. She’d never dare steal from another fae. She listened to the options for alcohol. Sweet had always been more to her tastes when it came to human fare though strong would be necessary if she were to feel the effects of the drink. “It sounds like there are quite a wide variety of drinks these days. I’d prefer liquor, something strong and sweet, perhaps? I do also tend to enjoy salty things, but I’m not quite sure there are beverages that fit the bill.” She let Kitty select the drinks. If her choice in drink was anything like her choice in music, Marina was sure she would enjoy it. A slight frown played on the nereid’s face when Kitty indicated jazz was no longer popular. “When was it popular then,” she asked, “I was not impressed with the music on the beach. This seems like much more skill goes into the performance. I’m curious how you got introduced to this jazz then.”

“I think Kitty suits me, too, though my roommates say it makes me sound like a stripper,” Kitty said, laughing. “And that one’s only for special occasions. Usually when I’m fleeing a situation. Had a Baptist preacher call me that, once.” She’d lost one one of her favorite shirts that day while she was running, but it had been worth it. The preacher’s daughter’d been hotter than hell. “Well, if he gave it over willingly, then I’m sure it’s just fine.” Marina had an interesting way of speaking that made Kitty think of the fair folk. She didn’t have too much experience with them growing up, but her mama always talked about them pretty reverently. Both they and her family were caretakers of nature. It wouldn’t do for there to not be respect there.

“What if I could get you something salty?” Kitty asked, grinning brightly. “Ever heard of a salty dog? Gin, grapefruit juice, salt on the rim. I worked at a place in Florida that had a special for those.” It was also nautically themed, much like that damned restaurant Bottomless Booty. Which was one reason as to why Kitty chose to work at Flipped. The uniform was dated, but at least she didn’t have to talk like a pirate. Who’d she look like? Jack Sparrow? She ordered a salty dog for Marina and a Guinness for herself, wanting something stout and dark. She might just stick to beer for the night, but it’d really just depend on how the music went. “I think jazz was real big in the twenties? About a hundred years ago, I guess. Oh, there’s a helluva lot of skill that goes into it, playing it and all. It’s pretty cool. But lots of folks still play it, even if it ain’t the most popular. My mama’s family’s from kinda close to New Orleans, so when we’d go visit family, sometimes we’d go into the city. Lots of bars in the French Quarter have jazz bands doing their thing. They make alright money, too, I think.”

“What is a stripper,” Marina asked with a puzzled expression, “Do they work with felines or something?” She attempted with context clues but still found herself quite confused over what a stripper could be. Kitty’s tone indicated a joke that was lost on her. She laughed along with the escapade about the preacher. A man of religion swearing was always amusing as it usually took some pushing them to the edge to get them to that point. If Kitty could elicit that reaction from a man of so-called discipline, then Marina believed she liked this young woman. She wasn’t so bad for someone who was seemingly human. “That sounds like a funny story. It takes a bit more gumption to get swears out of a priest. Whatever you did, I applaud your efforts.” Her own grin twisted up. “Fine, it is. It also means our fun tonight is paid for.”

“That sounds delicious, though how do those ingredients make the drink dog-like,” Marina asked with a tilt of her head. Either way, it sounded good to her. A bit of salt always made things taste a bit better to her. She was grateful that Kitty had been the one to order their drinks. Their drinks looked very different though the beer Kitty ordered looked reminiscent of ones she’d seen back home. She found herself happily swaying to the music as she tried her drink. The salt on the rim and the hit of citrus paired nicely. “This was a good recommendation. Tastes like home.” This music was popular a hundred years ago. That checked out with why it wasn’t what they chose for their beach parties. It was a shame this wasn’t popular. “A hundred years ago. Well, I enjoy it today anyhow. They all seem like talented musicians. It’s very horn heavy, which I enjoy. Is this New Orleans close to here? It sounds nice if they have lots of bars playing music like this. It’s nice music to dance to.”

For a moment, Kitty just blinked. “A stripper,” she repeated, but then she remembered earlier thoughts, about how she figured Marina was a lot older than she appeared. “They get paid to dance for people, sometimes on a pole and in skimpy clothes and with silly names. And a lot of the time they, well, strip. Take off their clothes. It’s kinda hot. Attractive.” She leaned back, reminiscing, proud of her efforts. “It didn’t take much to get that man cussin’ up a storm. He really didn’t like me. His daughter did, though. My efforts were pretty impressive, I gotta admit.” She smirked. “I can drink to that. Nothing better than having your booze paid for by someone else.”

Kitty considered. “Think it’s like callin’ someone a salty sea dog or something? Sea’s salty, at least.” She took a drink, savoring the taste of her beer. She wanted to say that Guiness had a hint of a chocolate-y taste, but maybe that was her taste buds tricking her into thinking that she could enjoy something without it absolutely wrecking her body. “Glad you’re enjoying it. I like to think I know a thing or two about drinks.” It was interesting, trying to piece Marina together. Despite the super scenter, Kitty didn’t count herself as particularly nosy. If she learned things, she was happy. If she didn’t, she was happy with that, too. Everything in its own time, right? Still, the smell of salt clung to Marina in a way that was pretty noticeable, at least to Kitty. It would make sense that a salty drink would be comforting. “I don’t think jazz can ever truly go out of style. It’s one of those classics, you know? I like the horns. The snare drum’s good, too. Hear the beat? It can be slow, but I like jazz that’s fast and danceable.” She laughed. Whoever, whatever, Marina was, she wasn’t human, and she was probably old. “It’s… in the same continent? It ain’t particularly close, though, unfortunately. Which is a shame. I grew up a couple of hours away from it. I imagine that to drive there would take a couple of days from White Crest.”

Marina could not hide her intrigue as Kitty explained to her what a stripper was. Celebrations were always more comfortable in the nude. She couldn’t quite wrap her head around the silly names or getting paid to dance in the nude. She supposed there were brothels back in the day. This sounded like a slightly more tame concept. “If we spend time together again, I would like to see some of these strippers. I know clothing is mandatory at most establishments. Is this the case for wherever the strippers do their attractive dances?” As Kitty spoke of the preacher, she found herself laughing along. She could understand the meaning in her words in this regard. If the preacher’s daughter liked her, it’s like they did something he would consider untoward together. Many humans had a weird perception of sex and that it somehow had anything to do with purity. “Good for you and his daughter. It is good that you don’t let their narrow views deter you.” She liked strippers and a preacher’s daughter. As far as a seemingly human woman went, Kitty wasn’t so bad.

The origin of her beverage’s name seemed fitting though she wasn’t a sea dog, not that she had anything against seals. They were part of what she swore to protect. “The sea is salty. I could see this drink being inspired by seals.” Marina took another sip of her drink easily. The salt made it more palatable than a lot of cocktails which were watered down and stung her throat. Her eyes fluttered shut as Kitty spoke of the drums in the music. At the base of the music being performed, there was a steady beat keeping the song in time. She let her foot tap along to the beat against the metal bar on the stool that her feet were resting on. She could feel the beat in a pleasant way, unlike the music that was blared on the beach, the beat didn’t sound and feel like a vibration whose pulse was disruptive. She could imagine dancing around the fire surrounded by fae with bare feet back home. Part of her couldn’t help but wonder if her sisters would enjoy this just as much. “I do like the drum as well. I’m glad this is considered a classic and won’t be going away. To have stayed somewhat popular over the course of a century is impressive. Are there any other types of music that have stayed popular over the years?” She mused out loud and couldn’t help but think that jazz had to be started by a maenad.

“Hm,” Marina thought aloud, “Does this New Orleans happen to be coastal at all? Perhaps I will visit one day. What do you enjoy most about it?” She was enjoying the music and picking Kitty’s brain. As far as humans went, Kitty was tolerable. Perhaps even enjoyable. She didn’t seem to mind answering her questions or particularly phased by the fact she was so out of touch.

“You wanna… go to a strip club. With me.” Kitty blinked for a moment, and, okay, yes, Marina was clearly, most likely, definitely not of this time. Or she was just real sheltered. Kitty could roll with that. “Yeah, sure, there’s places to go where they do that. I won’t be dancing, unfortunately,” she teased. She added, “Clothes are mandatory for the folks that are customers. Less so for the performers. They’re kinda gettin’ paid to lose some clothes every now and then.” She wiggled her eyebrows as she took a swig of her drink. At Marina’s comment, she snorted. “Oh, yeah, it was a real good time, especially for her. And for me, too.” She shrugged. “I’ve never let other folk’s ideas bother me. I am who I am. I get to decide what I think, feel, do.” Even if it wasn’t always the right thing, it was her decision. Sometimes she made a mess of things, but Kitty could always say that she’d never been made to do anything she didn’t want to do in that moment. Even if that meant willingly getting bit by a werewolf.

Kitty nodded. “Seals are the saltiest of the sea dogs, it’s true.” She took another sip of beer, savoring the flavor and the music around them. Months ago, this wouldn’t have been possible. The noise would have been too much if she’d tried to come in without earplugs. She hadn’t expected the hearing that came along with being a werewolf, or the nose. There were actually a lot of things that she hadn’t expected with being a werewolf. Live and learn, though. She’d been so pissed the first time she’d walked into a club and had to immediately walk out because the sounds and smells were too much. It was easier to manage now, though, as she let the music thud around in her chest, her fingers drumming out the beat against her glass. She hummed. “Country music’s been around a while, but it’s kinda changed a lot over the years. The blues is even older than jazz, called America’s music. I grew up not too far from the supposed birthplace of the blues.”

Kitty had to recall what she knew about geography for a moment before she spoke again. “It’s not really coastal, though it’s close enough to get pretty heavily hit by hurricanes. It’s got the Mississippi River running through it, though. Was a really major port city back in the day. Still is, really, though I’m afraid I don’t know much about all of that.”

“Is that not what I asked,” Marina questioned as if the answer should have been obvious. Maybe she wasn’t quite up to date on human speech patterns, but she thought her intent had been rather clear. She was however disappointed to hear they would be required to wear clothes. The clothes humans wore were rather uncomfortable and she much preferred existing without them. “That’s a shame. Quite silly, really. I never quite understood the clothing rule,” she said as she took another sip of her drink. She would be ordering this again. It tasted like home and warmed her the more she drank it. She listened to Kitty and could respect her mindset. Maybe not her person or species, but she wouldn’t actively seek to enact violence against the young woman. “Good for both of you. That’s wise. Some of these… expectations are far too restrictive and your life is your own.” Truly her own. She had no purpose to serve, just a life to live. She wasn’t sure if she envied it. A sense of duty has always given her a source of pride and she could hardly imagine living by their rules.

“It is nice they have a drink named for them,” Marina mused as she finished her glass, “They should really have other marine drinks.” Maybe there are other ones that she just hadn’t known which wouldn’t be unlikely. She made a mental note of this drink’s name and the different musics that Kitty spoke of. Music had been something she missed while living in a cave. Back home, she was used to hearing the works of maenads near nightly. She enjoyed that music could be such a physical feeling, the flow of the notes moving much in the same way the waves did, and this kind just as sporadic as during a storm. “Country, blues. I will have to listen to these. And where is this birthplace of blues?”

Marina decidedly would not be visiting New Orleans. A river simply wouldn’t do, the water would burn her skin and she could only stay away from the sea for so long. “Rivers aren’t quite teh same. It’s perhaps not the place for me to visit, but all the jazz does sound fun.”

“No, no, it is. Sorry, I was just clarifying,” Kitty said quickly. She laughed, then, at both the disappointment on Marina’s face and clearly in her voice as she spoke about clothes. “You know, I never really got it, either. Clothes should totally be optional. Ain’t nothing about nakedness that’s inherently sexual or anything like that. It’s pretty natural if you asked me.” She’s not ashamed to admit that she’d totally walk around stark ass naked if she was allowed to. It’d save so much time. Plus, she was hot, literally hot, almost all of the time since she’d changed. It’d be nice for it to be socially acceptable for her to shed a few layers outside the comfort of her own home. “Free will and all that jazz, right?” she asked, finishing her drink. “If I wanted to live by other people’s choices, standards, I sure as hell wouldn’t be here.” Then again, she didn’t know where she’d be. Her family had always encouraged her to be herself, find her truth. Because she was the only person in the family who had to look for it. Everyone else had their truth, their magic. And poor Kitty, left out of the group, always on the outside looking in, even when she was right there. It was enough to drive anyone to do anything to find a place to belong, and she’d found hers nestled in blood and organs where she still just didn’t quite fit. She smiled. “I like to think I’m pretty good at livin’ my own life.”

Motioning for the bartender, Kitty asked for another drink before turning to Marina. “Would you like another one? You might also like margaritas; they put salt on the rim.” She hummed, considering. “Ocean themed drinks would definitely be a big seller around here. Maybe I can talk to my roommate and come up with some ideas. She works here.” She listened to the music a little more before she turned back to Marina. “Don’t listen to too much of the modern country. I think you’d like it about as much as your beach music. Listen to…” her lips stretched up into a grin. “Listen to Dolly Parton. Everything by Dolly Parton’s a damn good time. Blues is always pretty good. A lot of subgenres have come out of it, R&B, soul blues– actually, you might like soul music, too, maybe some Motown. It’s kind of funky, good to dance to.” It had been awhile since Kitty had gotten a chance to talk about music. She liked music, loved it, really, but it had been just a hobby for so long. It’d probably only ever be a hobby, but she still loved it a lot. “The Mississippi Delta likes to claim ownership of the birthplace of the blues. Fella sold his soul to the devil to play the guitar, and the rest is history.” Kitty snorted. “‘Course, it’s probably just a story, but it sounds neat, huh?”

Cocking her head to the side, Kitty wondered why a river wouldn’t do, but she decided not to ask. Instead, she said, “That’s alright, though I’m sure the city would love ya. You can always look up videos and listen online, instead, though. It ain’t quite the same experience, but it’s still nice.”

Marina simply laughed lightly at the need for clarification. She supposed her disposition wasn’t all that common amongst the townspeople. There were so many nuances that seemed rather pointless so she often opted to be as straightforward as possible. Eventually, she would get a solid understanding of how this century did things. Overall, this outing with Kitty was proving to be very insightful. One might even call it enjoyable, at least as far as spending times amongst the humans went. The next song played was a bit slower and she nodded along to Kitty’s words. “You’re a self assured woman. That is a good trait,” she said simply. Because it was simple.

“I’ll try the margarita,” Marina told the bartender. Salt on the rim sounded like it could be just as good as the previous drink. She was also pleased her suggestion was well received. It would be nice to come back for another jazz night with even more drinks to choose from. “If she comes up with anything good, you’ll have to let me know so I can give it a try.” She enjoyed the slower song as she took the first sip of her margarita. The salt on the rim really did the drink wonders and this one burnt a bit on the way down. It was a pleasant feeling that she felt herself relaxing into. “Dolly Parton,” she made a mental note, “I’ll be sure to include her next time I listen to new music. And soul music. That sounds beautiful by name alone.” Something good to dance to also sounded nice. She wondered if she could get Correy to dance. He was always a bit stoic even when he seemed pleased. It’d be nice to see the lampade loosen up just a hair. “Motown as well. I do enjoy dancing.” It brought back fond memories of home and a sense of freedom and inhibition. It was a feeling she looked forward to allowing herself to feel again. Her attention piqued when Kitty spoke of the blues’ birthplace and a deal with the devil. She couldn’t help but think the devil may have actually been a fae. “That’s quite intriguing. Trading one’s soul for musical prowess. Surely, the town must have a rich history.”

“That’s a good idea,” Marina agreed, “The internet has many interesting videos available. I’ll have to get the experience while still being by the ocean.” The more she had of her drink, the more she found herself dancing in her seat along to the music. She had a nice buzz and enjoyed the overall energy the music provided. Even the dim lighting had its appeal. She would definitely look for Kitty’s insights again in the future. “I appreciate you showing me this place and introducing me to jazz. If you would not mind, I’d love to hear more of your recommendations in the future.”

With a smirk, Kitty told Marina, “I’m pretty confident in myself. I get paid better that way, y’know?” Tips were better when she was nicer and sweeter and more self-assured. People paid better if they thought the person serving them knew what they were doing. Kitty had learned that young; the more confident she looked while doing something, the more she was able to get away with. People tended to not realize that they should stop her until it was far too late. She watched Marina, pleased that she seemed to like her drink and that Kitty was two for two on proper drink recommendations. “Yeah, totally, I can let you know.” She drank her beer, enjoying the flavor of it on her tongue, the trickle of warmth it caused to go through her body. “Dolly’s a queen. I mean, not really, but she could be. Should be. I’d let her rule the world.”

Kitty was pleased that Marina liked her ideas and that she liked getting to talk. Hell, she liked that she just got to talk about these kinds of things. It was nice to not have someone know what she was, who she was. To not be a werewolf or a failed witch. She could just be and blend in and not worry about any of it. “Well, I’m a sucker for showing a gorgeous lady around,” she said, grinning and doing her best to keep up that confidence. “I wouldn’t mind at all, darlin’. Just let me know, and I’ll see about opening up some space for you in my schedule.”

#wickedswriting #kitty

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loulougoingsolo · 4 years

Text

“There goes our Peter Pan sponsorship”

A few days ago, there was this tweet:

Yesterday, Matt retweeted this same tweet with the addition of tomorrow - which is today. Boy, did he deliver. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this. They made Rhett and Link read their own fanfiction - and it wasn’t the fluffy kind. So, let’s talk about that - and the fact that I am simultaniously exhilarated, embarrased...and a little bit awkward.

This is, for what I can remember, the first time ever that GMM has needed a warning about being NSFW or unsuitable for kids, but despite all those warnings, I assumed they’d found some fairly innocent fics for this episode. I love how before getting into reading, Rhett and Link point out that the thing that makes reading these fics out loud difficult for them is simply because it’s about themselves - not that it’s fanfiction - or that it’s about real people. They are not opposed to people writing fanfiction, even about themselves, they just prefer not to read it - for obvious reasons - but I think this episode, even with all the cringe, emphasizes the fact that they are ok with Rhink. And we also got proof that the crew does read fanfics, and we may actually have a mole in our midst.

Instead of just reading the fics, Rhett and Link do it in GMM style, by turning it into a game. They take turns reading a part of the story on a card, and for every card they successfully manage to read, gives them a point. If one of them taps out, the other has a chance to steal the points by finishing the card - and if they both fail, it’s up to Stevie to finish. Either way, we are getting to hear the whole thing.

I’ll link all the fics in this post, so you can check them out - and also, so you can read them in their entirety. The crew apparently decided to only have portions of the full fics on the show, and I think that was a good thing, since this supposedly was the first time R&L are acquainted with fanfiction, and even with these snippets, there might have been some permanent damage. (Oh, in case you’re wondering, I linked the AO3 texts instead of the tumblrs on all the fics, mainly to keep things simple.)

The first fic for the guys to read is “Puppy” by Mythical-Ross. Sounds all cute and fluffy, yes, but Stevie gives a subtle warning before Link gets to reading. No actual dogs were harmed in the story, but as the story goes on, it becomes apparent that this story is about a different kind of puppy. I can’t believe this was the first fic they chose to read, after celebrating Puppy love on Valentine’s Day.

I completely lost it when Link started reading his lines with a special voice: “Who’s a good boy?”, and commented on how only one finger was licked so far. Rhett, on the other hand, is struggling to read his part. (Which is understandable, given his role in this story.) Link looks a lot like how I felt when I first stumbled upon rhink fics, both a little guilty for reading smut, but also kinda curious about what’s to come. He seems to be taking this experience surprisingly well.

Link is in a small lead after the first round, as we move on from puppy play to Mpreg with “Positive” by dip_the_pip. Why do I feel like we are going through all of Link’s kinks today. We know he loves puppies and talks about pregnancy a lot. But this probably isn’t like living a dream for him...And, just in case we’re getting reality and fiction confused, Link feels the need to point out that he’s never kissed Rhett’s knuckles. This comment feels slightly redundant after the previous story, but okay. And then he’s upset about doing the dishes on both stories (because THAT is the thing that’s upsetting about these stories), and then he warns the (fictional?) Rhett not to nipple on his lips - because of herpes. Rhett seems to still know what’s going on, saying the herpes is the least of their worries at this point. They ARE having a baby together, after all. Link finally gets to experience pregnancy first hand.

Considering all the jokes these guys have made on GMM about eating balls, turns out, reading about their own is a step too far. I have to say, checking the original unabridged version, a lot of the text was cut off for this episode - and personally I think reading a shortened version might give a wrong idea about fanfic. Anyway, Rhett fails to read his part, Link chooses not to steal his points, and Stevie has to read the line about her bosses doing it against the wall.

The last, but by no means, the least, fic for the guys to read, is a story from the college days of Rhink, “Breaking the Seal” by LinksLipsSinkShips. By this time, Rhett appears to be emotionally defeated, while Link almost seems to be having fun.

I really hope this episode didn’t ruin Link’s love for peanut butter. At least, he finally won something, and now we’ll get to see Rhett posting a line from a crew selected fic on his personal Twitter account (rhettmc) without explanations. Based on the choice of fics today, I expect the crew to be ruthless.

I have to say, this episode went much better than I expected. I admit that I’m still blushing, and thankful that nothing from my own archives was brought to daylight - although I fully stand behind my own work, even the cringier ones. I hope reading these stories didn’t change the guys’ openminded approach to dealing with us, the shipping kind.

I have to admit, after the main episode, I was releaved by the wholesome puppy videos in GMMore, probably as much as everyone else. I think it’s absolutely amazing, how dog-friendly Mythical is. So many adorable puppies, everywhere!

I happen to be the proud big-sister of a small dog, and I agree with Link in saying that a dog that has humans pet her, carry her treats, and fill the pool for her are pretty smart - they have complete control over their humans, and that is pretty clever. (I know that they’ve made IQ tests on dogs, and these tests rank many smaller breeds at the bottom, but that’s different kind of intelligence.)

Link has either completely forgotten about reading a fic about puppy play by the time they get to watch Sherby? the corgy play dead - after reading a story like that it doesn’t really help his cause to say he’d want to have a corgy as a pillow - or that Miles the husky is hot. And then he goes on to compliment Stevie’s dog Ringo’s gluteus.

Ok, after Link brings up swirls, I’m starting to think he’s intentionally messing with Rhett by bringing up these words that remind them about the fics. When he asks if Chase’s dog is swirling, and then goes on to talk in a puppy voice, I know he’s doing it on purpose. It seems the guys survived their ordeal mostly unaffected (and maybe with some new perpectives to life), and now we can all life happily ever after. Except maybe Rhett, who still has some tweeting to do...

#gmm #gmmore #rhett and link #gmm 1696 #they read their own fan fic #so i guess this is #rhink?#the cute dogs of mythical crew #i hope no one is scarred for life #this was so great #and a little awkward #rhink

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yoimeta · 4 years

Note

Hi everyone! I noticed recently that the "KAZAKHSTAN 101 OR HOW TO OTABEK" post seems to have been taken off of tumblr? The author's whole blog seems to have been wiped. Do you know if this is archived anywhere? Is there a mirror, say, on Ao3?

Hello!

Thankfully, I managed to find what I believe is the original post. Here it is! The post is archived in plain text under the cut.

Hope this helps!

- Ji

Source: @sawyer-aik

KAZAKHSTAN 101 OR HOW TO OTABEK

THERE YOU GO YURI ON ICE FANDOM.

Disclaimer: this is in no way a fully comprehensive guide. This is just me trying to put together basics for people who are unfamiliar with Kazakhstan/Kazakhs to start their writing/research.

I am an ethnic Kazakh female, citizen of Kazakhstan, Almaty, bisexual, upper middle class, currently in college in the US. My experience is in no way representative of all kazakhs and Kazakhstan citizens. However, I think it’s pretty close to Otabek’s.

This is really, really long and kinda convoluted, but if you can bear it –– welcome!

Name: Many people have talked about Otabek’s name. This is how you shorten it –– “Bek”, “Beka”, or “Beks” if you wanna be really familiar and laid back.

Kazakhs don’t have middle names, we have patronymics. They are formed like this: the father’s name + ‘uly’ if the child is a boy or ‘kyzy’ is the child is a girl. For example, Otabek’s childrens’ patronymics would be Otabekuly and Otabekkyzy.

About Almaty and almatinians: Ok I’m so happy Otabek is from Almaty, I really don’t know much about life in other cities or rural areas. Almatinians rarely do. Comparing Almaty lifestyle to the rest of Kazakhstan is the same as comparing NYC to the rest of America –– it’s not representative of the quality of life in the country, like, at all.

Almaty has 2.5+ million population, and it grows every year. It’s a cultural and economic centre of the country. Apples originate from Almaty (!!!), hence the name from “Alma” –– apple. Almatinians are usually stereotyped as fast, brash and snobby –– kinda like New Yorkers, right? Almaty is much more tolerant and progressive, and also more ‘Western’ than the rest of the country in terms of mindset. Almatinians kinda look down on non-Almatinians, and really dislike the capital Astana because of all the funding and attention it gets.

Almaty has a great ethnic diversity –– main groups are Kazakhs, Russians, Uygur, Koreans, Germans, Jews, Uzbek, and many more. Though stereotypical jokes are generally acceptable, outright hate and discrimination against an ethnic group is not tolerated. Many foreigners visit here for business –– mostly Americans, Western Europeans and Chinese.

Almatinians love: coffeeshops, mall sales, cool cars (Hello Otabek’s motorcycle), smoking hukkah and vaping. They are usually concerned with status and try to show off their wealth. You can see people of all kind of different style and background in Almaty, fashion shows are held there, contemporary art and indie-music congregates there, along with all kinds of fancy ass crowd. It is a really interesting and kinda exhausting scene, especially if you are young and wanna have fun.

Language, culture, food, etc.

As an Almatinian Kazakh, Otabek is definitely fluent in both Russian and Kazakh, and probably has a very good grasp on English. He is a master of shala kazakh. Shala kazakh is a magic language that only city Kazakhs are privy to. It’s basically a wild mix of kazakh, russian and some fashionable english slang thrown in there. It’s usual for me to start a conversation with “OMG bro” and then kinda pull my speech together, substituting kazakh and russian words with each other and pepper it with “cool”, “ok” and other english exclamations. It’s not grammatically correct and is kinda lowbrow, but we all do it. Yes, even our parents. This is how Otabek sounds when he is talking to someone from home. Terrifying.

Nuclear family: City Kazakhs usually have two or three kids. That’s less than people have in rural areas. Children are important in Kazakh culture because they carry the family’s bloodline and history, especially boys. If you headcanon Otabek as having brothers and sisters, you are probably right! His family should be at least sort of wealthy to afford all the expenses of having a professional athlete for a child. Otabek has an expensive bike and his clothes look high-end –– he is definitely not poor.

Family in general. Kazakhs are close, VERY CLOSE to their family. Mind you, family is not just parents and siblings but also your grandparents, aunts and uncles and like all 173 cousins and nieces and nephews. Everyone is ridiculously involved in your life, always there with advice and complaints. You stay connected to your parents when you move out, when you get married, when you have kids, when you DIE. When Otabek misses the weekly skype dates or check-in phone calls, HE IS SHAMED SO HARD. Do you know grandma is worried about you, think about how old she is! Otabek’s relatives brag about his achievements like they moved him up the career ladder personally, with their own two hands. There’s nothing Otabek can really do about it tho he gets annoyed

Food: city Kazakhs have a very diverse cuisine. Traditional kazakh food is like 50% batter and 50% meat and takes long ass time to prepare so we reserve it for the holidays. My family loves fish, russian dishes such as borsht and blini, Uzbek lagman, Korean kimchi tho we try to avoid pork. And it’s not like we choose one day as a “Russian cuisine day”, we just kinda??? Deside to have some borsht today?? Almaty has lots of different restaurants, almatinians love sushi, pizza and pasta, shashlyk, all kinds of experimental foods and trying new things. Kumys –– mare’s milk –– is one of the things you should try in Kazakhstan as a turist, but I know many kazakhs who have never had it or don’t like it. They say it’s really good for you tho.

Holidays: ethnic Kazakhs in Kazakhstan celebrate: birthdays, New Years, Eid al-Adha which we call Kurban Bairam, Independence Day on December 16th and Nauryz on March 22nd. Young people kinda have get togethers on Halloween because it’s fun and a reason to hang out. Nauryz is one of my faves, it’s a pagan holiday of coming of spring and new life. On Nauryz, Almaty is adorned with flowers, yurts and giant swings are set on the city square, people wear traditional clothing and dance and play and eat a lot. My family also ended up celebrating Eastern Orthdox Christmas and Easter because each year our Russian friends invite us to hang out and celebrate with them, lol.

LGBTQIA+

Main principle is “Don’t ask, don’t tell”. General conflict avoidance protocols are in place. I personally know like 3 LGBT friendly hubs/clubs in Almaty. Nobody explicitly says “gay clubs” but people just kinda know what and where those are. There are get togethers and meetings you can attend to meet people, you can hang out with your significant other in public, hug, hold hands and no one would probably say anything. Colleges and universities are generally safe places, many of my friends are out in their college and don’t face any trouble. PDA will be frowned upon, but all PDA is generally frowned upon in Kazakhstan, even hetero. Feminist and sex-positive initiatives try to educate the populace and break the status quo, and are doing really well but the government’s disposition is homophobic. If your family is religious or traditional, they probably wouldn’t go as far as disowning you, but will probably pressure and guilt-trip you. LGBT+ youth generally plan to move somewhere else or just not settle. All of this is Almaty situation tho. Being LGBT in rural area is much more dangerous.

THE BEST PART: VOCABULARY

Ok this is what I find to be the easiest way to explain Kazakh to English speakers: think Turkish but written in cyrillic, with words borrowed from Arabic and Russian.

Endearments:

zhanym, жаным: my soul. Zhanym is everything to a Kazakh. You can use it for your family, friends, SO, I called my laptop zhanym today. It can be flirty, it can be serious. If you need Otabek to be affectionate with someone, use zhanym.

ainalaiyn, айналайын: really hard to translate but something like my precious?? Usually used towards small kids, but also if a Kazakh finds something really cute.

altynym, my golden baby. I love this one for obvious reasons, lol, hi, Otabek.

Mahabbatym, махаббатым, my love +

Suiktim, сүйіктім. my love, my dear. Kinda old fashioned but really romantic. I can see Otabek using this, but he will be teased and called an old sap if he does.

Kazakh have a lot more endearments, but most of them are for children.

Basic interaction and exclamations:

Iya. Ия. Yes.

Zhok. Жоқ. No

Rakhmet. Рахмет. Thank you.

Keshir. ��ешір. Sorry.

Salem, Сәлем. Hello. A familiar greeting.

Sau bol, Сау бол. Literally “Be well” but actually means goodbye. Pretty familiar too.

O Kudai, О Құдай/O Allah, О Алла! Oh my god, obviously. Used in all kinds of different situations.

Oibai, Ойбай! How does one explain oibai. When a friend jump scares you, when you receive bad news, when you check your bank account –– oibai!

Abai bol, Абай бол. Be careful, is what your mom tells you when you go out.

Expletives and Swear Words. Yeeaaah the juicy stuff.

Zhyndy, Жынды. Crazy. If someone is being stupid or inappropriate, you call them zhyndy. When you tell a dumb joke at the familty table, mom smacks you upside the head and hisses “Ooooi, zhyndy!” When Jean-Jaques is acting a fool and makes out with his reflection, Otabek rolls his eyes and mutters “Zhyndy”.

Akymak. Ақымақ. Idiot. When someone is just dumb and not worth your time.

Ittin balasy. Иттің баласы. Child of a dog. It can be as harmless as “you pup” and as offensive as “son of a bitch” depending on the situation.

Kotindy kys. Көтіңді қыс. Squeeze you ass. God I love this one. When someone being an obnoxious wannabe, tell them they should squeeze their ass and check themselves.

Jean-Jaques: I am gonna be the King of the Grand Prix!

Otabek: Kotindy kys.

Shygasyn ba?! Шығасың ба?! You wanna go bro?! Ohh, someone is gonna catch these Kazakh fists.

Sigil. Сігіл. Basically go fuck yourself.

Sheshen ahmy/Sheshen sigem. Шешең амы/Шешең сігем. Your mother’s c*nt/Imma fuck your mother. REALLY FUCKING OFFENSIVE. Say this to a Kazakh if you have a death wish.

——————————————————————————————-

AND THEEEEEEERE YOU GO.

Again, this is just the basics. Do more research and talk to as many Kazakhs and Kazakhstani people as you can. We are a different but usually an interesting bunch. Thanks for your attention, Sawyer out!

#yoimeta #solosvejs #answered #Otabek Altin #yoi meta

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therainroguefanfiction · 4 years

Text

⁂ Always (Kuroro Lucifer) #3

📑 Table of Contents | ◂ Previous

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“I hate your big, dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind.”

Your eyes fluttered open and your ears registered the sound of someone shuffling around the room. You could hear clothes being folded and placed into a bag before hearing it being zipped. The hotel door opened and closed almost silently.

You rolled over onto your back, staring up at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes. You could hear the sound of Kuroro’s boots as he walked down the hall to the elevator. The sound echoed in your brain, taunting you and whispering in your ear.

“He’s walking away from you,” it laughed evilly, it’s voice low and gruff. “He won’t come back this time. He’s gone for good.”

You grabbed the pillow from underneath your body and slammed it over your head, eyes shut tight. You had difficulty breathing but you didn’t care; you had to get rid of the sound but it just kept echoing through the empty room. Every step made your heart clench and your head throb.

You groaned loudly, jumping out of the bed and hurriedly getting dressed. You had to get out of that hotel room.

Away from the silence and his lingering scent.

You had to get away.

Before running out the door, you headed over to the wall opposite the bed where a large painting of a waterfall lay. You picked it up off the hook and set it on the floor. Taped to the back of it was a brand new pack of cigarettes. You ripped it off before putting the picture back up.

The staff that worked at the front desk stared at you weirdly as you walked through the lobby; you weren’t sure if it was because you were going out during winter in a tank top or because you rushed past them as if you were trying to escape the grim reaper himself.

You didn’t really care, mind focused only on getting away from the hotel.

It took about thirty minutes for you to reach the deserted park and by the time you did, you were panting heavily. Your body fell onto the stone-cold metal bench, hastily pulling a cigarette out of the pack and putting it between your lips. You flicked the lighter before inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly.

Just one drag and your nerves were beginning to calm. It was a long and slow process involving several hours and many cigarettes, but finally, your nerves were completely calm and at ease. Your mind had completely forgotten about Kuroro, his uncaring nature, and his stupid games.

At that moment, he wasn’t even the last thing on your mind. You were content, if only for that moment.

By the time you decided to head back, it was already about five-thirty in the afternoon.

You stopped off to get a drink before finally returning to the hotel. Your eyes stared into the pack of cigarettes as you rode in the elevator and you scowled, having only three left in the pack.

“It was a new pack, too. Damn it, I’ll have to take another job to get some money.” You muttered to yourself, taking a swig of your drink before unlocking the door and stepping inside.

Kuroro had plenty of money to spare, but you refused to ask him for any. Why would he give up his money for you, a toy that he plays with from time to time? Besides, you’d have to tell him what you wanted the money for and that wasn’t gonna happen.

You glanced up once you were in the room and immediately froze, a sense of dread washing over you.

Sitting in the white chair by the balcony was Kuroro and he did not look happy. His elbows were on his knees, folded hands covering his mouth which sat in a straight line. His expression was somber, eyes closed.

‘Maybe if I back up really slow, he won’t notice me’, you thought. Slowly, you began to inch backward but froze again when his eyes opened, narrowed and glaring at you with something close to hatred.

“Where have you been, Y/N?” His cold tone made you flinch. “You’ve been gone for over five hours.” His eyes moved down to your bare arms which had turned pale due to the cold. “I believe I told you not to leave this room without a jacket.”

Your fear quickly morphed into anger and you let out a growl, fists clenched at your side. You moved farther into the room, throwing your keycard on the bed and kicking your shoes off. You were well aware of his dark eyes following your every move but you ignored it, pretending that he wasn’t even there.

Kuroro had no right to question her.

He leaves without a word and stays gone for months at a time, without a single call. Hell, even a text would be sufficient! You never once questioned him, so what gives him the right to do so to you? You didn’t have to answer his questions. It was none of his damn business where you’ve been.

Before you could enter the bathroom, he grabbed your arm tightly and pushed you against the wall, trapping you there with his body. His hands gripped your wrists tightly, keeping them flush against the wall to prevent you from moving. You repressed a shiver when he leaned in to whisper in your ear, his voice low and menacing.

“Everything you do is my business. You’re not allowed to do anything without my knowledge and approval. Now, where have you been?”

You turned your head to the side, refusing to look at him. You weren’t a criminal! You hadn’t done anything to deserve the chains Kuroro had put around you and you didn’t deserve to be treated like a slave or a dog and, even if it killed you, you would not swallow your pride and bow down to him like a mindless doll.

He sighed deeply, his warm breath fanning over your still chilled skin. Kuroro closed his eyes, his grip loosening only slightly. “I won’t kill you, no matter what stupid or foolish thing you do.”

Your eye twitched in annoyance but you said nothing.

“Why were you gone so long and without a jacket, hmm?” His left hand released your wrist and snaked around, slipping stealthily into the back pocket of your jeans. Your eyes widened and you finally looked at him, eyes locking with his own.

‘How did he…?’

“I’ve always known,” He answered softly, his fingers tapping the top of the box. “No matter what you did, the smell of cigarette smoke still lingered. I don’t approve of you smoking, you know that.”

You pushed him away, stopping in front of the bathroom door. A shadow formed over your eyes as you hung your head. “What’s it matter, Kuroro? One day you’ll tire of me and move on. What’s it matter if I shorten my own life? It will end soon, anyway. Whether by your hand, the Ryodan’s hand, or by Kurapica’s hand. It’ll happen eventually, it’s only a matter of time.”

You then locked yourself in the backroom, stripping your clothes off and stepping into the shower. Your eyes stared blankly at the tile wall as the cold water cascaded down your numb body. It did well to hide the tears that fell from your eyes.

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autisticmight · 4 years

Text

hey remember that time a couple of weeks ago when i translated some bnha leaks

because i found some today from @trashformha and i’m going to Make Another Attempt

edited bc i messed up one bit!!! i mean, i’ve messed up many, but still

so, basically, they’re all fucked. there’s a threat too big, even for all of these heroes.

bubble 1: nani teki wa hitori! kore wo uteneba

i don’t really get the first bit, because i’m nowhere near fluent. “nani” is, as we all know “what?” and “teki” is “opponent”

therefore i’m thinking it’s basically “which opponents are alone,” or something along those lines, for now

there’s a familiar “u” for “utsu,” in “uteneba,” and “ute” is an imperative of that. “ba” is kind of an “if, and” particle, i think. before i get a headache, i’m just going to try and summarise that bubble, like. fuck it i’m making logic bounces. “the opponent is alone! attack that way”

bubble 2: nanno tame no HERO houwajidai ka

“nanno” is, like, “what kind,” and “tame” is, as usual, basically “sake.” the “no” makes that possessive, too

you’re not gonna believe what “hero” means

whenever i look up “houwajidai,” it. OH. this is basically “what good is the age of the saturation of heroes!”

“a single opponent attacking this way! what use is this age of hero saturation?”

oh, cool!!! we’ve got rock lock, aizawa, and manual? Dad Squad!!!!!!!!!

bubble 1: “masshou” wa kaijyou shite nai...!

“masshou” is “erasure” so that’s pretty simple. “kaijyou” is “cancelling,” though jfc it’s so hard to make out the kanji that i had to use waifu2x, which made it worse, bc it’s not designed for words. and, “shite nai,” that’s just the te-form of “suru” with a negative attached, which basically means “being unable to”

so! “erasure isn’t working...!”

bubble 2: kanpeki na ... noumu tte wake ka...!

“kanpeki na,” is just adjectiving “perfect” for the noun, which is “noumu.” so, like, “the perfect noumu”

“tte,” is like “to say; as for,” you know, like all that. “wake” is like, a reasonable conclusion, or just “circumstances,” which is really kind of vague, dude

“my “erasure” isn’t working...! the perfect... noumu is...!”

i can conclude that, while aizawa can erase every quirk that belongs to a normal noumu (when he’s aware that he has to erase more than one quirk; he could not do so in the initial usj encounter until he’d been told that the noumu had multiple quirks), he cannot erase the quirks of a high-end noumu

we saw earlier in this arc, even, when it was still a hospital raid, that the narrative didn’t let aizawa use his quirk on them before

here’s the long-awaited Gran Slam. he just. slaps izuku and kacchan to the ground

bubble 1: kokora de iika

“kokora” is “hereabout” and “iika” is “listen.” he’s saying “listen here.” unless it’s “ii ka,” in which case, he’s saying “is here fine?”

bubble 2: ima shita ni aizawa-sensei ga!!

i don’t need to note this out at all. “aizawa-sensei’s down there now!!”

bubble 3: aa, shigaraki no “kosei” wo fuujitoru

the first bit is, “ah, shigaraki’s quirk” but “quirk” is in quotation marks, because that’s how it’s indicated in japanese, i guess, while we capitalise it to indicate that It’s A Special Thing; Not The Normal Word

“fuujiru” is a verb that means, like, “seal” or “block.” this is unlike “azarashi,” which is a Good Seal. you know, a selkie friend

i’d hazard that this is, like, “ah, shigaraki’s quirk is blocking everything”

bubble 4: shii-san motto hanareta hou ga iidaro!!

“hanareta” is past tense of “hanareru,” which is, “to leave; to get further away; to lose connection,” and “hou” is, in this case, i think, “direction.” “daro” seems like a shortening of “darou,” which is indicating a question, like “don’t you think?”

so, “shii-san’s got even further away, don’t you think!?”

bubble 4: jii-san motto hanareta hou ga ii daro!!

“how the fuck did this old guy get us so far away!!?”

bubble 4.5: “gran torino, kacchan wa...” which is basically “gran torino and kacchan are...” (or “huh...”) he’s introducing his other mentor to his... to his rabid pomeranian

bubble 5: OFA no kyouyuusha jyaro toshinori kara kiitoru

just so you know, the mention of “toshinori” has my brain going “!!! :D !!!”

“kyouyuusha” is “joint owners,” essentially. “jya” is just “da” in regional dialect, making “jyaro” “daro.” “kiku” can be “listen” or “ask” which sucks, but “kara” is “from,” which i know

“didn’t toshinori tell you about joint owners of one for all?” or, “didn’t you ask toshinori about joint holders of one for all?”

bubble 5 but the other half: koko ga gendo jya bakugou

“here,” a particle that indicates a specific subject, “limits,” particle indicating existence, “bakugou”

"here, you are limited, bakugou”

so!!! gran torino dumps them somewhere. he says, “around here should be fine.”

“sensei’s down there, now!” says izuku.

i think it’s kacchan who says he then says, “ugh, shigaraki’s quirk is blocking everything.”

to that, izuku says, “he’s gotten even further away, hasn’t he? gran torino, kacchan, i...”

to that, kacchan says, “how the fuck did that old dude get us so far away!!?”

then, gran torino says, “didn’t you hear from toshinori about joint owners of one for all? here, you’re limited, bakugou.”

and, while izuku tries to introduce kacchan to gran torino, gran torino says, “i’m the co-owner of one for all, basically. didn’t toshinori tell you? you’re limited here, bakugou.”

tbh i initially thought we’d switched to the league, because “shii-san” is. so weird. i could only imagine toga calling him that

oh no. he’s talking about aizawa

bubble 1: washi wa ERASER no ashi ni nari ni modoru

“washi” is just an old man personal pronoun. “ashi” is foot, and, with the particle added, i think it’s “by foot,” as a mode of transportation. “nari ni” is, like, doing things your own way. “modoru” is, in essence “to return”

in this case, i think “wa” is used as a comparison, rather than a topic marker. so, it’s like

“eraser and i both take our own paths.”

bubble 2: kakurete rotte ...... koto desu ka!?

“kakureru” is a verb meaning “to hide,” combined with a bunch of te-forms

“we’re being hidden... is that it?”

bubble 3: yatsu wa ALL FOR ONE no “kosei” wo ijyoku sareta rashii

“yatsu” is just. “him. that guy. blergh.” but “ijyoku,” is. it’s like. it’s “working from your house.” i don’t get it. and “sareru” is the passive form of “suru,” “to do.” so it’s “to be done.” and “rashii” is like. like. ish. seeming

“it’s like all for one’s quirk is working through him”

as in, like, it’s the quirk that’s really doing it, or all for one is puppeteering him from tartarus

little bubble-less text next to gran torino: DJ HERO ga ittotta

“it’s like the dj hero was saying,”

i think so, anyway

bubble 4: man ga ichi ONE FOR ALL ga ubawarete mo shitara...

“man ga ichi,” “if by any chance,” or so the jisho collocation says. it also says “ten-thousand to one,” which is more what i was thinking

“ubawareru,” or, “to steal.” i keep forgetting this, though it’s growing more familiar, and “mo,” is like, “in addition to.” like “inu mo neko mo minna suki” as “i love every one of them; dogs and cats!”

“shitara” seems to be past tense of “suru” and also a supposition, so:

“if there’s a chance, no matter how small, that one for all could be stolen...”

and, subsequently: “saiaku” wo kangaero

and i don’t think i need help translating this. i know “aku” and i know “kangae”

“if there’s any chance that one for all could be stolen, the villains will have won.”

a lot of the kanji and such are blurred, so i’m doing my best, but it’s going to be super vague and not very notey

panel 1 top: “kosei” jya nai...!! su no... chikara...!!?

“it’s not a quirk...!! that power... is his own!!?”

panel 1 bottom 1: ano chouyaku(?) mo sou datta no ka!?

“was that jump also due to it!?”

panel 1 bottom 2: furuu dakede sora suru jiyuu ni - !

i have, like, half a clue with this one, sorry

“by simply wielding it, he’s free in the sky!”

panel 2: sonna chikara... marude

“that power... it’s just like-”

bubble 1: ALL MIGHT ni wa oyobanu teido jya gana!

the bubbles are a lot clearer, so

“oyobanu.” i have no idea. it’s, like, “oyabu” is “to reach; to measure up to,” and “nu” seems to be turning it into a negative, but i have no idea what tense it’s supposed to be.

“teido” is a suffix for a noun as in “degree, amount,” so i think the “nu” nouned the “oyabu”

“gana” is kind of airy with its meaning. is it, like “wouldn’t it be nice if...” or is it making things uncertain, or is it being empathetic? where does the “jya” fit in? is it a “jyaa” or a “da?”

“don’t you think he could reach the impossible standards set by all might?”

bubble 2: karada no kado na kaizou wa nou ni fuka ga kakaru

“kado” - “excessive. “kaizou” - “remodelling; reformatting.” “nou” - “brain.” “fuka” - “burden; strain.” “kakaru” - who the fuck has a clue

“the excessive remodelling of his body allows his brain to handle this burden”

bubble 1: tasukarimasu, MANUAL-san

...yeah. i checked. he’s being so polite and he is breaking my heart

“please save them, manual”

bubble 2: bunryou kajyou ni naru to kaette shimite

“bunryou” - “amount,” “kajyou” - “excess”

“ni naru to” is a bunch of particles and shit, equating to “when it becomes”

“shimete” is, like, “to touch; pierce; sting; permeate; influence; impress”

for now, i think it means something along the lines of “you have a bunch of kids to get back to and influence,” but it’s all dependent on bubble 3

edit: i saw “kae” and thought “ah, kaeru; return!” and it’s not!!! it’s “instead!!!”

bubble 3: me wo tsumutte shimaimasunde... iki awasemashou!

“me wo tsumutte” is just, “close your eyes.”

“shimaimasu” is a polite conjugation of “shimau,” or “to end; complete.”

the “nda” means, funnily enough, “and”

“awasemashou,” i think, means, like, “let’s do it together!”

“when the excess amount you take on instead starts to sting, close your eyes, stop, and we’ll breathe together!”

#helen stfu #bnha #adventures in japanese

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stilesssolo · 4 years

Note

⭐️ for WTWTA

Alright just in general? I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but like... originally the middle of the story was never going to exist.

I got the original idea from a dog I follow on instagram who does a bunch of sponsorships (go check out @ loki he is a very good boy) and was like “lol what if Ghost had a viral instagram?” I then realized there’s no way in HELL Jon would ever be able to operate said instagram; it would have to be all Arya. And THEN I was like “how can Dany fit into this?” and I’m pretty sure at that point I texted Fer and was like HOW DO WE MAKE THIS A PLOT and we figured out Dany should work for the company sponsoring him.

However. I originally was going to have them meet and be frustrated with each other, begrudgingly work together, etc, as the story currently goes. But it was really only supposed to be a one shot-- so the camping trip they’re on right now came, like, not long after they started working together. And then on the camping trip, they realized how much they really cared about each other and got together.

The reason it got expanded to what it is now (other than the fact that I’m tragically wordy) is that I saw a picture of Kit in a tux somewhere and was like... well. We have to have a gala. But in order to have that happen, I had to like GREATLY expand the entire middle. I also gave them both a shit ton of baggage and trauma to work through so that too was like... not helpful on the “shortening the story” front.

HOWEVER, I am so glad that I expanded it and made it into the story it is today. I never could have dreamed it would become so big and popular and gain me so many wonderful friends and followers. The number of comments and kudos and asks I get still astounds me. So I guess it’s a good thing I’m wordy as hell :)

fanfic director’s cut

#where the wild things are #director's cut #asks #answered #Anonymous

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steve0discusses · 6 years

Text

Yugioh S1 Ep 40 PART 1/2: So Much Random Stuff Happens That It Requires Two Parts

Most of the time, Yugioh’s plot is delivered in nice, bizarre, bite-sized segments, offset by duels that I skip. But then, in this episode they decided “Hey, we should drop some plot. Like a lot of REALLY WACKY plot.”

And thus we have an episode with over 80 caps. So, this’ll be a two-parter! The other part will show up later. Like...when we finish it.

Also, despite the fact that this is probably one of the more important episodes of the season, it has quite some damage on the recording on Netflix. You’ll see that it isn’t really cropped right on the sides, and in some parts it’s got motion blur I couldn’t avoid. One day, Yugioh will get it’s Sailor Moon remaster, but this is not the day. Also, if they redubbed Yugioh, it would be an absolute tragedy, but that’s a different story.

TL;DR Forgive the massive amount of text in the upcoming recaps. There’s just so much they did and I uh...didn’t want this to end up being over 100 caps this episode alone.

So, lets get into it: The Yugi crew is looking for Pegasus.

For some reason, Tea suddenly remembers what went down the night before and decides “I bet Pegasus is hiding in that spooky tower we don’t actually know how to get into because we climbed it with a grappling hook.”

(Sometimes I get used to Yugi’s eyeliner and then they throw a shot like this at me and it’s like DAMN, Yugi, when did you have time to apply that stiletto heel to your face? Like most of the time I’m just put off by the awful hair and then the rest of the time I’m just really jealous of this emo boy’s wings.)

With that they suddenly remembered...the other stuff.

(read more under the cut)

I like how Joey is just so incredibly fed up with magic at this point. Out of all of them, he seems to hate magic the very most although his best friend is a walking dark magic portal. Joey is just completely done, but unfortunately for Joey it turns out all the magic up to this point hasn’t even remotely been the amount of magic that this show is going to throw at us, because this entire episode is a bunch of wizards just screwing with each other.

I’ve mentioned before that it feels like the power players of Yugioh are kinda like Greek Gods where they just really can’t be bothered about 95% of the time--but when they are FINALLY bothered enough to move their own ass, they just kinda sweep the floor clean and leave me utterly baffled.

Anyways, Pegasus actually is in the spooky tower, to my disbelief, at this non-euclidean desk that doesn’t seem to exist in time and space.

And then Kaiba wakes up in a cabbage-patch lookin jail cell. I would love to see more of his reaction to that but alas, this episode is not about Seto Kaiba.

Pegasus decided to make good on his word, mostly because Yugi is a cursed Pharaoh and he doesn’t want to see what happens if he doesn’t make his end of the bargain. To be quite honest, getting your mind scrambled would have probably been better than what did eventually happen to him in this episode.

Seriously, did this guy ever sell a painting that wasn’t a card? His portfolio would just be one person. And they do say that you shouldn’t make your portfolio too many styles but, damn, you can’t just do one person, unless your going to work for one specific type of video game, in which case sure just draw that one space punk chick over and over it seems to work for you.

Bakura decides to show up, and he’s very Bakura about it, introducing a new Bakura mechanic that I didn’t at all predict would ever be a thing.

Bless this storyboarder.

After showing off his weird tarot ability for no other good reason than to mess with Pegasus for a little bit, he decides to make me regret ever saying this necklace looked like it has five dicks.

I am so sorry, I had no idea! I had no idea it would be shooting lasers! What the hell, show?? What genre am I even watching anymore??

Also this whole concept that at any point these items can just shoot anime lasers and start a...whatever this trope is called, is so bizarre to me. They CAN do this...but they prefer to use cards.

They CAN do this, at any point, but they prefer to trap the souls of you and your friends in a card so you must play even more cards.

Or they can shoot you with a laser and solve their problems that way.

But why would they? They can like...play cards and do tarot and read minds and make card monsters real so who would ever want to shoot freakin lasers!

I do appreciate that Pegasus’ laser is pink like the salmon I chose for his font.

My bro argues that Pegasus probably sees just fine with the golden eyeball, but I feel like it can’t be the same, like a Spike Spiegal situation. It’s not like they ever tell us, anyway.

Him being alive for centuries is just never brought up for the rest of the episode. It comes up here and then Bakura’s like “Woopsie! Change the subject!”

Kid’s show!

As a kid an episode of the Rugrats freaked me the hell out--you know the one where Reptar becomes alive? I couldn’t take that one, it was terrifying. So maybe I’m not one to judge, because I was not a normal kid when it came to anxiety (in fact a legit phobia of dogs gave me pretty severe panic attacks on a weekly basis) but, it seems like Yugioh is a lot like brother’s Grimm because they are SO READY to cut off body parts, revive corpses, and overall gross me out, just to make a point.

Is it necessary? Eh.

But is it bizarre body horror we can stuff in this kid’s story? YES LETS DO IT.

With the way they set this up it looked as if they were just going to have them show up in the nick of time or something, but instead the show was like “lol, these kids? You’re kidding, right?”

He’s literally missing an eye and Croquet’s exact line was something like “he’s fallen ill.”

Also, I’m glad we got a cameo from Double-Spike Mohawk Mullet Man in this episode, giving Pegasus a fireman carry like a trooper.

So, because they can’t not, and because Pegasus’ security is only effective at random times of the day (they must have a lot of smoke breaks or something) the four decide to raid Pegasus’ bedroom. Why would you ever want to do this to the guy who was ritually sacrificing people the night before!?

Joey’s weird crushes on blondes that are...not in High School. Joey. Stop this. You are a child.

Anyways, Tea goes straight for the juicy stuff, because if there’s anything in this world that I would never ever want to read is a grown man’s journal filled with all his unfiltered thoughts.

Then we’re welcomed into a Pegasus Flashback, because why not make a tragic past even more tragic? Anyways, it’s OK because anime food lives here.

Bro called them gravity melons. I want to point out the party cups drawn from the side sitting on the round table we see from the top. Love it. Also realllllly love that guy with the mustache and glasses in the bottom right corner. There’s some good stuff here in this vaguely 80′s flashback.

Anyway, she totally dies. The flashback goes through things we’ve been over before--they get married, she gets sick, she turns into a rose and then becomes a grave in a really poorly kept graveyard.

And so Pegasus turns to religion. Yes, you read that right, He decides, he wants to find a religion that will explain afterlife to him, and he’s like I might as well start with the oldest and work up, so he goes to Egypt.

Uh...OK. I mean if you’re just looking for a religion with an afterlife you could have chosen...almost any of them. You could have stayed in America and like gone to...anywhere but, the guy was like “Mummies, youknow?” and went to Egypt although Cecelia is already dead and buried so it’s not like he can do the mummy trick to her now. It’s a little LATE?

My brother and I were so entranced by this bizarre hat, that we wanted to see if it’s ever been made real. AND IT HAS.

MARVEL AT IT:

IT IS VERY EXPENSIVE.

LOOK AT THAT DUMB HAT!

We checked Amazon for cheaper listings, but only found trucker hats with the Square Mason symbol on it, and Illuminati trucker hats like this one.

My brother wrote this note to them. I hope they read it and take it to heart.

Anyways, our newly found joy, held aloft by the discovery of perfect square brimmed hats was quickly sullied.

His hat is a transformer. But a round to square kind.

So in walks this guy. His name is Shadi. I’m telling you that right now because I want you to pay attention to how long it takes before we find out his name is Shadi. He is going to tell us his name at some point, and it’s very weird when it happens.

Pegasus doesn’t seem to realize it is not at all normal for a guy in modern Egypt to be walking around with this massive ankh on his chest (eh...you can’t see it in these pictures, but there’s a HUGE ankh just hanging around his neck) with earrings and pharaoh makeup. Pegasus is just that type of sheltered American. He’s like...well you look like someone from a movie so it must be legit. And that is how Pegasus decides to follow a guy who is clearly an ancient spooky wizard into an ancient death dungeon crypt.

I feel like Pegasus could have easily avoided this whole situation he got himself into.

Shadi has a whole speech about how the eyeball has a lot of power, and that he’s got to protect it all yada yada--but at the same time Shadi is like “BUT I gotta make sure some people use it so a lot of terrible things happen. You’d think I’d just...leave this stuff in this crypt so it’ll never be a problem and the world will never be cursed with terrible dark magic that was sealed away for thousands of years, but...I’m gonna make it happen anyway...and it’s not my fault...”

How many times has Shadi done this? It’s suggested that Pegasus is not the first.

It’s pretty gross, and while it’s done in shadow (which was a nice visual allusion to Shadow Magic), it’s still pretty gruesome for a kids show. To happen twice in one episode of this kid’s show, haha.

She calls him by his full name “Maxamillion” which made me realize he’s probably never shortened his name to “Max” in his entire life.

I’m glad Pegasus making out with a ghost happened on screen. This is now the most romance we’ve seen in all of Yugioh. Good.

So did Pegasus actually write the part where he made out with a vision, though?

I’m curious about how that process works. But, I don’t think we’ll ever find out.

Anyways, next time, on this very same episode of Yugioh:

Will Bakura stick this eyeball in he own eye or will he back out last minute and just hang it from his necklace and pretend it was there the whole time? Will Tea next read Pegasus’ food diary only to discover, in horror, that he drank upwards 60 liters of grape juice and far exceeded his daily calorie intake? Will security even realize these children have been snooping in all of Pegasus’ personal stuff for the past 30 minutes?

#Yugioh #yugioh recap #photo recap #s1 ep40 #tea gardner #yugi muto #tristan taylor #bakura #joey gardner #maxamillian pegasus #pegasus #cecelia #some weird psychic fight #with lasers #and then someones eye gets replaced on screen #square brimmed hat

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veterveter · 3 years

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Hey hey, it's gay bike anon again! I'm more than honoured to get my own tag!!! I definitely would like to keep talking to you <3 And only love for you too <3

I'll gladly wait for your response to my ask (or asks??? we'll see one day ehehehe)! I feel you, when people cite some of my text messages from a few months (or more) ago I'm often like "nope, nah-ah, that's not me, you're wrong". Same for older essays, I often can't believe I wrote those. And even with things I wrote late at night a few weeks ago, sometimes I'm like "I wrote that? That monstrosity??? Okay, I need more sleep before writing". (My capacity of writing in correct English grammar usually goes to sleep before I do, same goes for varied word choice). But sometimes I'll see this project I've worked on YEARS ago and exactly recognize the pieces I wrote? Since the ask would be fairly recent, I suppose I would recognise my writing style and word choice and since I didn't wrote it whilst sleep deprived (I hope??) I'm setting my chances of recognising it pretty high. But we'll see one day, the mystery will marinate for a while... [I am rereading this in the daytime, and this is EXACTLY what I meant, at night I make the weirdest word choices?? I’m definitely not changing it though because I might find it kinda funny]

I snorted so hard about the way you talked about your almost-name, I'm giggling here like crazy. Apparently my name means something alike 'dedicated to God', but my parents aren't really believers, so gotta love that. The meaning of my sibling's name is 'summer', but I'm the one born in the summer, whilst my sibling is born in autumn, oops. Guess my parents never checked one of those sites/ books where you can find the meaning of a name hahaha.

I love how my ask was so weird and chaotic that you sent a screenshot to a friend. I LOVE that she had no idea what was going on. Then again, I watched the semis (obviously hahaha) but I had no idea what was going on either... But honestly it was peak Dutch culture, water and bicycles, I would just add an ode to 'hagelslag' and voila, the entirety of Dutch culture summed up... [Also: if you don't know: 'hagelslag' is just sprinkles which we eat on bread, yes, on bread, we do not not only eat sprinkles as on cake or on donuts, like in any other country, no, we put it on bread. It's actually a really popular sandwich topping here. My ultimate favourites are the chocolate ones, but you also have them in several fruity flavours (like forest fruit) and anise flavour.] Thank you, perfect chaotic energy is an ultimate goal I strive towards *bows like I'm Victorian royalty or something*

You're absolutely right, it went EXACTLY like that. Specifically, I would be studying for my exams, explaining topics to myself like I always do, so I'd tell myself "The six possible origins of economies of scope are indivisibility, specialisation, marketing, research and development, GUESS WHAT.. SUBWAY DRIVER GANDÍA... ehhh... what was I doing again??" OR: "one of the most detailed and most used models of responsive regulation is Brathwaite's piramid. His enforcement piramid visually shows, nope not important, SUBWAY DRIVER GANDÍAAAAAA" And I'd laugh, continue explaining theories and calculations to myself until my focus started lessening again and my thoughts would wander off again. I am VERY glad I'm not the only one who thinks about it from time to time, and I'm glad you're not suing me for any mental harm yet.

Yess, those pictures I saw from Promising Young Woman look so beautiful and aesthetic!! I'll probably watch it somewhere after the 16th, because I'll most likely have finished my last exams by then. I'll tell you what I thought about it! Thank you SO SO SO much for all the luck wishes!!!! I had an exam last Friday and I absolutely rewarded myself, because it went better than I expected and I passed an earlier exam and a paper too! I didn't buy myself a tricorne (yet), but I did buy funko pops (my inner economist said it was 100% rational because it was a really good deal hahaha). I still have two exams to go, so I could always buy a tricorne for finishing either of those, OR. EVEN BETTER. I'll ask my parents (or my grandparents) for one for my birthday. I mean, that would be hilarious. They'd be so confused. They've never seen S3 and S4 of LCDP so they'll have no idea, even if I tried to explain it. It would be so incredibly funny (and really really weird for them), I am laughing like crazy just at the thought of it.

I've never been in Finland before, but those temperatures do not sound legal indeed. I have no knowledge of Finnish law, but maybe article 3 of the European Convention on Human Rights, the prohibition of torture, would work? If I was the judge I’d 100% agree, so we should all sue the weather sksksks. I'm glad to have brought you rain though (and that I apparently possess the power to do so - magic weather controlling pirate seems like a nice enough job to me)!!! I hope the temperature has become at least somewhat lower. You're right, climate change should just... stop... right away. The weather is pretty weird here, right now: one day it will be super sunny and (at least) around 27 degrees and almost melting away, and the other day it will be raining and I'll be wearing my warmest sweater. Like, why the extremes??

I love that I am able to make you lose your coherent thoughts (that's probably why we have one brain energy about Underwater, because I, too, have the ability to make myself lose my coherent thoughts). I'm glad for your faith in my impersonation of Martín. I even started Duolingo Spanish again, and now know the phrase, "Yo bebo leche" (I drink milk) which obviously would be very important to him. Now I'll just need an Argentinian accent to go with it. Leaning menacingly on a cane would be GREAT, I love the idea. I'll open job applications for a Denver. Maybe my cat could help me, she, much like Denver, is super loud and she is super aggressive towards other cats, so there is potential there. And guiding dogs and even tiny guiding horses exist, why not a guiding cat?

I always assumed I would follow a more... you know… legal... career path, maybe even literally a career in law. But, my accounting professor also showed us how to manipulate financial statements ("so you can notice when people are doing this", uh-huh sure, sure that’s why) and another professor of mine also said that a criminal career sometimes could be the more rational, rewarding choice over a legally acceptable career. So, I suppose I should not be surprised by this sudden change of career plans. I should have seen this coming. And what better way to be able to avoid the laws than by knowing exactly what they are and how far you can go. And if that plan doesn’t work out, the books of law I have (they’re combined in two huge hardcover bundles) are really heavy and you could probably harm someone with them if you hit hard enough… Well, I suppose you can even leave “hard” away, just by hitting someone softly with those books you can bring serious harm to them… Ah, and like that one professor would say: in this scenario it would be a rational choice to become a pirate instead of a privateer. Oh dear, not Arturito :/ Mutiny would seem like a good option, I’ll take over the ship and become Palermo the Pirate. Sounds much and much better than “Arturo the Pirate”, since that isn’t an alliteration, sooo mutiny is reasonable even for that reason. And then there’s the fact that it’s Arturo, I mean, that says enough.

YOU LOVE UNDERWATER TOO????!!!! I completely forgot that you posted that! It seems we do indeed already have one shared braincell energy my friend <3

Last week has been pretty good (except for having to make a test at 9:30, what a godless time, I’m usually barely awake by then ehehehe), I think I aced the test I had, got back some good grades and finally got my first Covid vaccination (and only shortly slight dizziness as a side effect, so that's pretty great). And thanks so much!!! For now I’m safe from Gandía, but somewhere in mid-July I’ll have to take an exam on campus, so I’ll might be able to bring out my inner Palermo then.

How was your week? If the weather is still unkind to you (well, also if the weather *is* kind to you), treat yourself to your favourite ice cream and a break every now and then <3 Do you already have holidays or hasn’t your academical year ended yet?

You’re also right - this is conversation and we’re friends now <3 And I absolutely do like cookies! I would say my favourites are american cookies (though stroopwafels are reaally good as well) but honestly there are only a few kinds of cookies that I don’t love that much. And anything with chocolate in it is GREAT. I do also love apples and bananas, though grapes (which I just had) are even better! What’s your favourite kind of cookie?

Also, I know I have been giving you so many prompts already, but I saw this one in that list you reblogged and it gave me so much Berlermo energy: you live in an apartment with your best friend. the two of you always fall asleep in each other's arms, but one day, your friend isn't there. they've fallen in love with someone else. it's your other best friend, who recently moved in with you. and that's when you realize, that those nights you spent together, weren't so platonic after all. I would love it if you’d write it, but if you decide not to that’s absolutely fine too, no worries <3

By the way, I was going to post this quite a bit earlier, but my laptop (unlike me) decided yesterday night, when I was finishing writing this, that it was time to sleep, so I had to quickly dump this whole rant in Google Docs (it’s almost two and a half pages what the heck) and I was busy all day so I only was able to upload it just now. I swear I can ractually espond faster than after a week :) Have a lovely evening, much love from the gay bike country <3

Heeeeeeey you are back!!! How happy am I to see my favouritest gay bike anon return to my inbox!!! 💕 [Author's note: You can tell I started this reply right away because you've sent me three or four asks since this one and one can tell you are indeed back hahaha]

Yeeeeeees this is how one makes friends!! You know, I was just thinking the other night of how "gay bike anon" shortens to GBA, like the Game Boy Advance, you know. Make of that what you will, but it pleases me to know that you can also have a cute nickname for your cute nickname. Nicknameception.

Yes, exactly that, "I did not write that, and if I did in fact write that.. No I did not." Also, "the mystery will marinate"??? That's an amazing word choice and some day I will absolutely use it for something, just you wait. I think it just goes to show that you should write everything while tired, haha.

Haha I love that naming convention for you. It may make very little sense, but....... but. Also, happy birthday for whenever it is, presumably in the nearby past or future!! Lots of love!! You're the summer child while your sibling is... a summer child, but like, different.

Since you appreciated my almost-name story, I'll reward you with the rest of it: so my name is Tuuli, which is Finnish for "wind". My mum originally wanted to name me Pilvi, which means "cloud". And then she was like oh no this child is not at all serene and cloud-like??? and thus, a new me. I'm glad she had second thoughts, although I wonder if having such an ill-fittingly chill name would've done anything to alter my personality? Nomen est omen and all. There's some kind of an alternate universe where all of that played out, but I'm glad it's not this one.

Yeah either you watched the semis and have no idea, or you didn't watch them and have no idea. There is no way to get what was going on there, I'm certain they themselves also didn't get it. I had no idea about hagelslag but thjipgnhefjpihjo that's amazing, I love that for you!!!! There was absolutely no reason to go there but you as a country just... did that. Amazing. Please have some and report to me so I can live through you. And also, you are absolutely legit Victorian royalty [or something] *bows in return*. Also, I do love how you say "I watched the semis (obviously)." Imagine if you didn't and this entire time I was tragically misinterpreting the nature and intentions of your ask and you were just rolling with it because you've no idea what I'm on about but are also too polite to tell me that. Khhhhhhh

Your brain has priorities!!!! And they're honestly beautiful. Well done, brain. Subway driver Gandíaaaaaaaaaa~~~ My brain is filled with Berlermo quotes that come @ me at random times during the day and leave me just a tad shell-shocked, remembering how it all went down. I'm eating my morning yoghurt and my brain goes yo te propuse fundir oro juntos, and I'm just there like :)))))) Real nice, brain.

Have you had the opportunity to see Promising Young Woman yet? Hhhhh it's so pretty, every time I work on this reply [it's a lot of times, okay, I'm very diligent about this, I stare at this ask and craft snazzy replies in my head all the time, that's why I'm so slow in... actually replying] I'm reminded of that. I'm not a very visual person but the colours and the framing... that was really nice.

I am somewhat glad you've not been to Finland yet, you must hit me up when you come visit, I'll take you for coffee!!! It's actually cooler now (bless!!!!!!!!!!!), the last... four days have been reasonable 14-20 degrees, after four consequtive weeks of 25+. Kkhhhh thinking back to it makes me feel a little ill, but now beret weather is back. I own a lot of berets, dear gay bike anon. I'm going to my university city for the weekend and I'm already wondering which beret(s) I should bring with me. This is an important decision with potential long-lasting consequences. I don't know if you've played any of Telltale's games (The Wolf Among Us and the first two seasons of The Walking Dead are the best ones, fight me), but when you make a decision and the game goes "This character will remember that." and you instantly go oh no what have I done??? That's how I feel about choosing the perfect beret for my city outing. But yes, weather extremes are just the worst. We've been having the longest drought I've ever seen here (it's still not properly rained, for the record, on Tuesday it rained for an hour or so) while in other places there's awful flooding. That's awful.

Ahhh I'm so happy you're continuing your Spanish-learning!! I took a beginner's course at uni in the spring semester, I'm going to take the next one when uni resumes in September. And yes, I'm studying it for LCDP. I mean I love languages in general, but I never had a particular need to study Spanish, until this year I suddenly did. I'm also Duolingo-ing it! Very slowly and steadily. Also, I adore the idea of your cat being your Denver. What's your cat's name??? What do they look like?? Tell me everything, you can't just leave it at my cat, you simply must allow me to meet them. Also, you know why guide cats aren't a thing? Because cats are the worst. I love cats, but you can't just teach them to do useful things. They'll do them if they want to. As I type this, my cat is trying to catch flies at my feet. Her name is Muusa.

I studied accounting for my undergrad!! So I can join you in [[[preventing]]] tax fraud and [[[recognising]]] tampering with financial statements. We can make a totally legitimate business out of it. No but truly, I'm certain we were taught some of those things with the expectation that our future employers would expect it of us. Capitalism is so fun :)))))) And you shouldn't be surprised, academia is but a stepping stone to crime, honestly. Any dark academia book will tell you this. You start out learning Latin and wearing turtlenecks, you end up with murder. That's just how academia works. And you seem to have already chosen your weapon... you're well on your way. :) Palermo the Pirate sounds great!!! I support your mutiny. I don't think I said, but this is my favourite word of the English language. Mutiny. Mutiny????? It doesn't sound very serious. It sounds cute, actually. I love it.

I'm so happy to hear you got your covid vaccine!!!! I had mine a month ago or so - I typed you a reply to the subway Gandía thing on the train ride back, actually. I was really stressed about getting it on my right arm, because I'm left-handed, and last time I got a vaccination (like a decade ago) they insisted on giving it on my left arm and I was sad :( But this time!! I got it on my chosen arm and was very pleased. So anyway, that was a segue. I'm glad you got your covid shot and were side effect -free!!!

My week has been good, thank you!! I went to my uni city for my niece's birthday on Monday, and as said I'm going back on Friday (tomorrow). So this time in between has felt like exactly that, time in between. I started reading Call Me By Your Name. I had my Korean class last night. Now I'm hanging out with my cat (she has stopped chasing flies and climbed to my lap) and talking to you. My holidays started already in May! And uni resumes in the beginning of September, but I'm a tutor for new students so I need to show up three weeks earlier for the orientation weeks. Yes, we do three weeks of orientation (read: three weeks of drinking). It's a bit insane.

Now I need to ask you again how your week has been, since I'm so slow. How has your week been?? Are you free from your exams?? When does your uni resume?

Stroopwafels are so good ahhh I'll have to buy them when and or if I see them. Possibly when I'm in central Europe but haha I can hope to be lucky and see them at a store with imported stuff, you know. My favourite cookies??? Omg maybe these ones - they have this truffle filling, and they're fun to eat (this is important in cookies, you see):

And of course they're Fazer. Because Finnish people have only one setting, apparently. Or maybe that's just me. But all cookies are great, honestly. I like making American cookies, that's always a fun pastime (and you get to have cookie dough, that's like half the fun). I've actually not made them for a lifetime??? Maybe I should, soon. I'll keep you updated. Also, brookies. I love making brookies, they're great.

I really really appreciate being given prompts, I hope you know that!! Thank you!! Consider me pocketing this prompt and maybe eventually some day theoretically getting back to you about it!! You're right - it has Berlermo energy. Insofar as either of them actually have other friends. :)

Thank you for this kind message, dear gay bike anon <3 I'd apologise for my slowness in replying but I think I'd rather you just assume that I'll get back to you, and thank you for your patience <3 Your kind and funny and chaotic asks always brighten my day. I hope you'll have a great rest of the week and just... all the nice and fun and good things and great vibes in life. All the best, dear gay bike anon <3 Take care!! And greetings from Muusa as well - she just yawned and I presume that means "greetings".

#only love for gay bike anon #the timeline became accidentally somewhat restored with this one #I may have intended to reply to medieval snails first - I was writing these two simultaneously even though that makes very little sense #- but I finished this one first #strange!!!!!! but yes all the best to you my friend I hope you'll have a great day and a best rest of this week!!#asks #I'm scrolling to check that the formatting didn't break and the random box of cookies amuses me

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osang171819 · 7 years

Text

A Quarter Canvas

By Rosario Patino-Yap

Borja St., Caritan Sur:

The last of the moving van left. I had spent the morning running around the bungalow that had been home to Harold and me. I wandered through the house to see if anything precious was left behind. No, nothing was forgotten. Except for the potted mums that lined the curving pathway. They were newly-watered and weeded. Looking up the heavens in colorful blooms.

My “sunny side up” house echoed in silence. The sunshine yellow house earned that monicker because of my penchant for the color. Inside, no single bric-a-brac that had filled up every nook and cranny was left. The miniature windmill replica Harold bought in Bangui, Ilocos Sur, the rattan hammock that had hung in the verandah, the butaca that had soothed my aching body and soul – all were spirited away in the giant snails called “Aloha Moves It.”

Outside the house, the children played “tumbang preso” and “sha-tong. Summer was when children played these indigenous games of tag. Every now and then, the patpat flew in the air and the children scampered to catch this thin sliver of stick. The morning air was punctuated by gleeful shrieks from the children. So carefree and dead to the cares of the world. The reality reared its ugly head when an ambulant peddler hollered “taho” in the distance. While the neighborhood maglalako shouted off her paninda for the day.

“Ano ba Totoy? Kay aga-aga magtatambay ka na naman dine sa tindahan ko?” Manang Luning’s voice boomed inside her sari-sari store. She was asking for the nth time why Totoy loitered early in front of her store. “Hala, dun ka sa DOTA.net magtambay,” she shooed away the teenager. Like swatting a fly off of one’s food.

“Naku naman, Aling Luning, hindi po wi-fi area itong tindahan nyo,” Totoy retorted. He sheepishly lumbered away from the store.

A dog barked at an unseen cat. The hum of a washing machine had started a neighbor’s day. A balmy air blew and the clothes that hung from the clothesline flapped about madly. They made snapping sounds. In my mind, I had hung clothes out to dry in that clothesline, too. I had carefully slipped shirts into plastic hangers. I had clipped pants onto the line so they dangled there like rows of people doing headstands. They evoked images of torsos, their arms and heads chopped off by some unseen hands.

I stood near the window for a while listening to these familiar sounds. It seemed a cacophony of loved and hated realities of Borja Street. As I stood in the window, I knew my co-teacher Nica was getting ready for work. Armed with her shoulder bag and a luggage that carried her instructional materials, she waited for the tricycle. Nearby, Bryan was displaying wares in his e-bookstore. It promised another busy day for him.

Rousing myself from the reverie, I dusted off the dust and cobwebs that clung to my skinny jeans and tattered halter top. How did these silky threads reach me? I wondered. Tracing the source of the cobwebs, I stood transfixed for a moment at the intricate web. An industrious spider might have spun from one window grill to another when we were not looking. I suddenly noticed the errant tears on my cheeks - and hastily wiped them.

My feet led me to the master’s bedroom - just my OC self doing her work. I unlocked the built-in drawer I seldom opened. I cannot even recall what was in it. I took out a set of keys and tried each one of them. I finally inserted one and the lock clicked open. The air of many years escaped the moment I opened the drawer. It was strange how the years can seep into thing. It called to mind sepia pictures taken by a photographer who had to cover himself together with the huge camera.

A silent gasp escaped from my parched throat. There, hidden in the back panels of the drawer, forgotten and tucked for what seemed to be ages, was Samuel’s painting. It was a “thank you” present he gave me. Weathered and old, the canvas smelled musty.

I took the painting out of the drawer. I gingerly touched it, fearful by doing so it might crumble or smudge off. It seemed cool and soft to my touch. I turned it around. I squinted to read the scrawled note on the edge.

“Dear Ma’am Rhodora, you were the powder keg that sparked my interest to achieve and have a life. Till we meet again. Your best student Samuel”

How long has it been since the painting was given me?

Primero High School

The acacia-lined campus was abuzz. Everywhere, academic discussion and multiple intelligence tasks filled up every classroom of the landmark high school. I sauntered proudly to my room in the Special Program in the Arts building. It seemed another ordinary day for me. I looked forward to some colorful exchange of ideas with my budding artists and grandmasters.

“Mune kamu ta balay na artista yra” greeted me in the stairwell. It welcomed everyone to the abode of the SPA students. A peep into the rooms was like a show window of aspiring dancers, singers, painters, writers and media practitioners. It had always seemed like a preparation for the annual arts festival. Or of the local Pavvurulun.

“Yeah!!!! SPA rocks!!!” Samuel slurred as he strutted inside my classroom during recess. Bloodshot eyes, fleeting eye contact, tottering steps- tell tale signs of something bad. His arm had wounds which were probably self-inflicted as he was wont to do. I worried at the ease of how he sneaked in. After all, “The Terminator” was known for his hawk-like vigilance at the gate.

Seeing me as I enter the classroom, Sandra my student, intercepted me.

“Teacher, iba po ang amoy ni Samuel,” she muttered under her breath. But it was loud enough for me to hear. He was telling me that Samuel reeked of liquor. Even without this information, I knew Samuel was drunk.

As if on cue, Samuel noticed my presence. With pleading eyes and a plaintiff wail, he whimpered, “Teacher, may I just talk to Giselle? Di po nya kasi sinasagot ang mga text ko.” He informed me of their usual lovers’ spat. Gisele had refused to answer his text messages again.

He staggered towards Giselle’s seat but he tripped on his shoelaces. Just as soon, he vomited.

“Oh no!” Giselle screamed in embarrassment. Her scream was like a clarion call for chaos. The class turned into a bedlam. Everyone tried to avoid his outstretched flailing arms. And the gooey puddle of his lunch. Some ran to the back of the room. A few climbed my table. Others rushed out to call the guards. All the while, I stood in the middle of the surging tide.

Samuel was plastered on the floor. The room hushed into silence. Then, like a torrent of rain, his tears came unbidden. The silent and shameless tears that he seemed to have kept at bay fell. It stained and wetted his immaculate uniform. He was curled like a baby inside his mother’s womb and he sobbed inconsolably.

Trying to put some semblance of order inside my classroom, I pulled him up. All 65 kilos of him was forcibly pulled by my small hands. The force - or lack of it, I did not notice- sobered him. He looked lost and embarrassed all of a sudden. He turned to look at the faces of classmates who gawked at the spectacle.

“I am sorry. Oh I am so sorry,” he repeated.

A whistle was sounded. The class was a Red Sea that parted to let the rushing “Terminator” in. Two others were in tow.

“Teacher Rhodora, are you okay?” he asked while he surveyed the situation. The ruckus had reached the guard house and the guidance services. Poor Samuel, he reminded me of a prisoner walking towards the guillotine. His shadowed face cast me a forlorn look.

“Honey, are we set?” my husband Harold’s voice brought me back from that day. Back to the present where I now sit and listened. I smiled sheepishly for being caught unaware then I replied,” Yup, just about.”

I reached for his hand and I stood up. As if hearing his voiceless question, I added, “It’s just that I wanted to double check the house before we left. Then here, I remember the painting given by a former student,” I added.

Harold, noticing the cubism painting in my hands, reached out and brought it into the light. He examined the painting of a mysterious lady with a poignant sad look on her eye. An empty rattan crib before her. The painting seemed to echo my disillusionment of trying to conceive for the longest time. It seemed a dirge to my failed attempts at motherhood. Bittersweet and the pain unfathomed. A silent scream that I have quieted.

“Dear Ma’am Rhodora, you were the powder keg that sparked my interest to achieve and have a life. Till we meet again. Your best student Samuel” Harold read. He stood silent for a few moments. Lost, too, in the message that the painting whispered.

“How long has it been since he was advised by the school to transfer?” he asked.

Again, nostalgia beckoned me. A wave that rushed back to shore after straying in the ocean. The memories came back unbidden after five years.

After thorough investigation and several “call parents,” Samuel was advised to leave the school. He violated rules and regulations. His classmates were somber on the day he said goodbye. I had a fleeting remembrance of him when he first came to my freshmen class. All innocence and raw Ben-Cab talent. I knew then that with proper tutelage and constant practice, he would be a grandmaster. But where had all the innocence and that raw talent gone? What happened in between, I sadly pondered.

I recalled the week after he transferred school. I had my classroom all by myself. The periodic exams were set for the next day hence classrooms had been thoroughly cleaned. Classes were shortened for the purpose. The smell of newly-applied floor wax hung heavy in the air. The armchairs were one seat apart. All systems go for the exams.

I sat to enjoy my late lunch of lechon carajay, eggplant omelet and tomatoes laced with boneless CK bagoong. An iced cold soda perspired beside my Tupperware. And the chewy yema I made the night before promised sweet heaven. That sumptuous feast of deep fried pork and fish sauce plus the caramel could lull one to sleep on that balmy afternoon.

The birds chirped on the ancient acacia trees that dotted the campus. The lilting melody of the ice cream vendo machine could be heard in the distance. The orbit fan hummed and it joined their symphony. Ah, one of life’s simple pleasures, I sighed.

Suddenly, I heard a soft- it not, timid- knock on the door. Samuel stood outside it. He entered the room carrying a big package wrapped in newspaper. He looked his usual old self – immaculate but different school uniform, polished black leather shoes, sun browned face and Gatsbied hair. He walked his cocky walk and a shy smile crept on his lips. I saw a glimpse of the freshman that he was three years before. He came near me and off-handedly gave me the package.

“What is this?” I asked in surprise. I reached for my soda to wash down the last of the carajay.

“It’s a gift, teacher. Open it,” he replied.

“Oh you shouldn’t have bothered.” I felt uneasy for what looked like an extravagant gift. But I fumbled to unwrap the gift. I looked at him. He gazed out of the windows –avoiding my gaze. I waited for him to say something. I knew he had much to say.

“I thank you for never giving up on me, Teacher Rhods” he went on after what seemed like forever. “I realized now that I needed your criticism and your pieces of advice. You kept on at me, despite the others giving up. That had kept me grounded. It put some sense into my muddled head.” He smiled shyly when he said this.

“Oh, that’s what teachers are for,” I replied. I might have sounded flippant to him. Disbelief on the sudden change probably showed in my face because a cloud flitted on his black eyes. But he regained his ground and continued.

“Maybe, God wisely designed the human body so that man can never kick his own self nor pat his own back. Through my rebellious period, you were my parola.”

I tried to swallow the air that blocked my throat. Emotions rendered my tongue immobile. To be compared to a lighthouse echoed in my head. I tried to say a wisecrack or a sensible advice. Nothing came handy.

“Oh by the way teacher, I drew that painting for you. A keepsake.” With those words, he walked away as quickly and as silently as he entered.

“Earth to Rhodora. Paging my dear Rhodora. Whoever saw my sweet Rhodora, please direct her to where I stand.”

The voice of my husband reverberated in the silent room. His voice and his smiling face jolted me from my reverie - the second time that day. I noticed that I have been revisiting the past. I laughed so happily that he couldn’t help but join me in my laughter.

“Tell me honey,” I asked Harold, “What did my student mean when he said I was a powder keg?”

Kissing my hand and holding me in his arms, Harold answered, “Maybe because you had stepped on stage in his darkest moment and had led him out of the dark, then you stepped down and watched him move forward. But your single act of gesture has become the ember that will keep him on the right track wherever life leads him.”

That made sense.

“And maybe, just maybe,” he said sotto voce, and with a twinkle in his eyes,” because you never seemed to grow old, a fresh red rose ever since. The guidance you showed had ignited his passion to live. And hopefully, his passion for the visual arts because he seemed to have lots of promise.”

A wistful sigh escaped from me. In the distance, a bus sounded its horn. A neighbor’s dog barked at the playing children. Manang Luning’s voice competed with the local radio station. The din sounded so familiar that it brought back memories of happy years spent in my “sunny side up.” I don’t know when I started thinking of it as my “sunny side up” home but it always warmed my heart.

The memories came back so vividly. A movie reel that had gone backwards. I could hear the sounds and see the pictures again. It brought to my mind the nights when there were power outages. Everyone was outside his house and just sat under the moonlit night. The mosquitoes were swatted as everyone swapped local tales and rumors. The balut vendor would pass by and offer his pampalakas ng tuhod na balut or penoy as aphrodisiacs for the men. The ubiquitous barbecue stood laden with barbecue, hotdog, isaw, betamax, and iud. I saw the children playing hide and seek or san pedro till fatigue and sleep beckoned them. Online games, tablets, and X-box were unknown then.

It replayed scenes during summers where the popular halo-halo stands dissipated the sweltering heat. If not swarming these ice havens, the children used to have a grand time climbing up the fruits trees. They would help themselves to Lolo Ifan’s mangga, duhat and kallupit. The old folks would do their siesta under the trees or played tong-its.

Again in my de javued mind, I recall Nino, Julius, and Jessem playing ungoy-unggoyan while Chloe and her sister Jiya straddled their trainer bikes. Everyone seemed unmindful of the unending investigation of the SAF incident, or the milk tea poisoning or the corruption of government officials

But it was time to move into our new home a block away from the old one. It was time to savor the good life after a couple of years eking out a living. It was time to quit renting the “sunny side up.” And it was time to leave the painting to the new lessee of the house - Samuel’s long lost father.

Sometimes, life is serendipitous. Who would have thought that the man who wanted to rent the “sunny side up” was his father? Again, I looked back on that meeting with Samuel’s father. Seeing him again who accompanied his father earlier that week - pieced together the puzzle.

“My wife and I parted ways. Looking back, the blow was hard for Samuel to understand,” he broached.

“So he rebelled,” I said softly. My heart aching for those children caught in the crossfire of dysfunctional marriages. It was sad how more and more families throw in the towel and quit the fight for family.

Talking to him for some time that day opened the door. It answered the questions that crossed my mind when his son stopped painting and quit being top student. It filled the gaps of those times when nobody responded to my “call parents”- those letters that requested parents’ meeting.

Samuel that day, a picture of his old self, reassured me,” I am okay now, Ma’am. Life may not be fair but it is still life I would like to live.”

In my mind, I watched them walk away together. A father and a son trying to be family despite being a far cry from the ideal.

We had spent our days and nights in this house. I had slept on my butaca, its rocking motion soothing me on those turbulent nights when I had to come to terms with my miscarriages. The motion was like my mind, moving from today to yesterday and back. But the present has a clearer purpose now.

With light steps and a radiant smile brought about by knowing I had helped a poor child get his acts together despite his dysfunctional family, I hooked my arm onto Harold’s arm. We walked out of the old house and headed east to where our new “ube-ice cream colored” house awaited us. In the distance, I saw the sun diffusing its yellow light on the world. I looked up and welcomed it.

#myearnestdreamwithmyharold

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yujachachacha · 7 years

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Get to know me

Tagged by @symphonyalpha (I forgot the URL for a second and was like, “Why isn’t Jaewhy showing up when I type it in the user mention???” lol).

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

Last: 1. Drink: Barley water, because that’s what my family drinks ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 2. Phone call: My grandma, telling me what time she needed me to drive her to her doctor’s appointment. 3. Text message: To my little brother, telling him to STFU because he kept sending me dumb shit on iMessage. 4. Song you listened to: Does SIF count? If so, “Sore wa Bokutachi no Kiseki”. If not, I was headbanging to “Paradise Lost” by Chihara Minori after dropping my grandma off at her friend’s place the other day, lol. 5. Time you cried: tbh I probably teared up a little when I was watching the footage from the Lantis preview of the Aqours 1st Live BD/DVDs ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇωஇﾟ)ﾟ｡

Have you: 6. Dated someone twice: I haven’t even dated someone once :’))) 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I’ve kissed exactly one person, so...hm. There was a period of time when I had conflicting emotions over what happened, but in the end, I don’t think I regret it. 8. Been cheated on: See #6. 9. Lost someone special: I’ve had a grandfather pass away, and this is probably going to sound bad, but...I really appreciated him, and he was nothing but kind to me. However, since I’d only seen him about three times in my life, the biggest way his death affected me was through my mother. It took her a while to get over my grandfather’s death, so it changed the way I behaved around her during that time. 10. Been depressed: Yes. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Exactly once, because I made the mistake of keeping pace with my uncle in Korea who takes soju shots like a champ. This also happened to be the night before Lunar New Year, so I got chewed out by my aunt (older sister of my uncle) once she realized why I was so lethargic during the festivities. _(:3 」∠)_ I don’t regret it though, because before that I had never been hungover before and was wondering what my limit was, haha.

List 3 favorite colors: 12-14. Red, blue, and...uh...other than those two I don’t have any definite faves. I guess the third would be either yellow or purple...? I’ll just go with purple for the sake of completion.

In the last year have you: 15. Made new friends: #TeamONIBE 16. Fallen out of love: That would require me to fall in love with someone first. 17. Laughed until you cried: I think it might have been when Mayushii and King did that disastrous cooking niconama. Like...what the actual fuck, do they seriously not know anything about basic kitchen safety and hygiene??? 18. Found out someone was talking about you: The number of times I’ve gone on to Discord and found out that someone in ONIBE was talkin’ smack about me... (｡･ˇ_ˇ･｡) It’s all in good fun though, haha. 19. Met someone who changed you: See #15. 20. Found out who your friends are: Nothing says "friendship” like screaming your heart out at an anisong concert, eating McNuggets while insanely drunk, sleeping while squished together in a seedy neighborhood, wotaing loudly in a moving vehicle, and other various activities I did with people I had never met in real life. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ AX 2017 was hella great for ONIBE bonding. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don’t think I’ve even used FB for non-work stuff since 2016 lol

General: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: If this means “I’ve actually met them in person and have had a decent conversation with them”, then maybe a few hundred? But if this means that I actually talk to them on a semi-regular basis, then, like...10, maybe. :’) 23. Do you have any pets: See my answer in the previous chain post I did. tl;dr I had a turtle and a dog in elementary school, but after that, no pets. I’d like to have a dog when I get a place of my own, though. 24. Do you want to change your name: Nope. 25. What did you do for your last birthday: Watched LLS Episode 13 in the morning and ate Korean BBQ in the evening. 26. What time did you wake up: Today? I honestly don’t remember. Sometime before 9? 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Laughing at dumb shit on Twitter and Discord, probably. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: The Delayed Viewing for the 2nd Live for the US! I’m making plans to meet up with ONIBE folks again and it’s gonna be ~L I T~ 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Early in the morning. She was like “lol get up and lose some weight” while I was still in bed so I groaned back, “You’re one to talk,” and went back to sleep. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I was gonna say “how about eliminating my student loans haha” but I suppose this is supposed to be a more serious question. I guess it’d be nice if I was a neater person. Like, my room is a total mess right now and I’m terrible at keeping track of things I should be working on... 31. Listening right now: Fun fact - I actually only listen to music while I’m driving. Otherwise, it distracts me from what I should be doing. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yup, that was the name of my debate coach when I was in junior high. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: People who hate on LL seiyuu. Like, they’re actual human beings who are working really hard to live up to the expectations of thousands - no, millions of people worldwide. To be quite honest, I invite you to tell me if you legitimately want to shit on any one of them (both µ’s and Aqours), because I have yet to see a single person who has had a good justification for doing so. 34. Most visited website: Probably Tumblr/YouTube/Twitter/Reddit, too lazy to figure out which one of those it is.

Jaewhy put in random questions here because they were missing for some reason, so I guess I’ll continue those: 35. Mole(s): I have a few around my face, but other than the one on my right cheek I don’t think they’re that noticeable? I don’t spend a lot of time in the sun like other Californians. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 36. Mark(s): I have a birthmark on the backside of my right shoulder that I’m sort of self-conscious about. It’s the perfect shape for getting a tattoo of a sunflower around it, so maybe I’ll do that some time in the future? 37. Childhood dream: Lawyer. 38. Hair color: I feel like I’ve answered this in a previous chain post, but it’s black. Duh. Though if you hold it up to the sun, some of the ends are more like dark brown. 39. Long or short: Long. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: See #16. Nope. 41. What do you like about yourself: I’ve spent an unhealthy amount of time staring at computers/video games and I still don’t need glasses. :D 42. Piercings: No, but I should probably get my ears pierced at some point? 43. Blood type: O. 44. Nickname: Yujacha, but a lot of people shorten it to “Yuja”. 45. Relationship status: Single. 46. Zodiac: Libra, Dog. 47. Pronouns: I feel like it’s obvious what gender I am, so just go with those. 48. Favorite TV show: I don’t really watch TV these days, but if I’m kicking back with some hot cocoa at like 2am I might watch Criminal Minds or something. 49. Tattoos: Nope, but like I said in #36 I’ve been thinking about it. 50. Right or left hand: Right. 51. Surgery: Wisdom teeth removal is technically dental surgery. 52. Hair dyed in different color: I had highlights in my hair a few years ago, but they faded real quick. I’m vaguely considering dyeing it brown in the distant future...? 53. Sport: It’s fun to watch the occasional match when there’s a World Cup or Olympic thing going on, but otherwise I have no interest. 54. (A question I came up with since #54 was missing) Extracurricular activities: I was a debate kid for most of my school life, and in college I was in the Korean Club and Student Union. 55. Vacation: Does the 2nd Live DV later this year count? 56. Pair of trainers sneakers *American anthem plays in the distance*: I actually need new ones because I’ve tripped while hiking on at least two separate occasions due to my shitty old sneakers.

More general: 57. Eating: Haven’t yet. 58. Drinking: Wasn’t this literally the first question? 59. I’m about to: Eat. 60. (This question was missing so I'll make one up again) Thinking about: What to eat lol 61. Waiting for: 2nd Live DV~ 62. Want: Money tbh 63. Get married: I’d like to at some point, but at the moment I’m kinda tired of hearing about it from every middle-aged woman who talks to me (including my own mother). 64. Career: Working on it.

Which is better: 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs, because they’re warm and comfy and can be shared by complete strangers. 66. Lips or eyes: I was gonna repeat a previous answer and say “eyesmiles” but since this is “lips or eyes” rather than “smiles or eyes”, I guess my answer would fall more under “eyes”. 67. Shorter or taller: Bruh, if someone’s shorter than me then I’d need to check their ID to make sure they’re not jailbait. Taller. 68. Older or younger: I’ve never dated anyone so I honestly wouldn’t know, but I’d probably look for someone close to my age first? 69. (Lmao why was 69 missing :3c I’ll just make something up again) Outgoing or shy: The former, since I’m lazy. If someone doesn’t drag me to places I’ll just lay in bed all day. 70. Nice arms or stomach: It’s actually really hard for females to have a toned stomach, so any gals with abs are like ooh~ 👀 But I actually like hands! I have smol stubby fingers so I really dig people with nice hands. 71. Sensitive or loud: The former, because I don’t need the entire neighborhood to know when I’m gettin’ laid kthnx 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship, because sure why not? 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Maybe the former, but if they’re being too much of a lil’ shit then I’d go for the latter instead. I’ve dealt with friends who take like 20 minutes to decide what to order from a menu so I know that feel. :’)

Have you ever: 74. Kissed a stranger: Nope. 75. Drank hard liquor: Yup. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I’m pretty sure I annoyed half of ONIBE during AX when I went “haha y’all are blind af” after I found out I was pretty much the only one who didn’t have corrected vision. 77. Turned someone down: I was about to say “no” and then I got a sudden flashback to a certain incident in college, wow thanks for making me remember something I had tried to forget...sooo, uh, yup. 78. Sex on the first date: See #6. 79. Broken someone’s heart: IDK if turning someone down counts as breaking their heart. 80. Had your heart broken: ...yes. I think? 81. Been arrested: Nope. 82. Cried when someone died: Do fictional characters count? 83. Fallen for a friend: Uhhhhh...kind of? It was complicated.

Do you believe in: 84. Yourself: I’d like to think that I do. 85. Miracles: KISEKI DA YO~ ...sorry, I had to. Yeah. 86. Love at first sight: Shukashuu is living proof of this. 87. Santa Claus: Nope, sorry Maki!!! 88. Kiss on the first date: Sure.

Other: 90. Current best friend(s) name: IDK if I have one. :’) 91. Eye color: I’m Asian, take a wild guess. 92. Favorite movie: I don’t really have a favorite, but I did like “Kimi no Na wa.” (Your name.) so much that I made it my phone’s lock screen.

Tagging: I've only tagged people the first time I did one of these and I’m gonna try to keep it that way. If anyone who reads this wants to give it a go, feel free~

#yujachat #chain post #queuetie panther #edited the words from british to american english spelling BECAUSE I CAN HAHA #are these even interesting to people why would u wanna know about boring old me

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margaretbeagle · 5 years

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Social Media Attribution: How to Get Started

When someone makes a purchase or signs up for your product, how do you know where they came from?

Especially when it comes to a top-of-funnel channel like social media, how can you ensure social gets credit for the impact it’s having?

Attribution to the rescue!

Seeing the impact of your social media marketing is definitely possible with an attribution strategy that assigns value to the channels that send new business your way. We’ll show you how to start in a lean way and then go deep with robust solutions as you scale.

Attribution can be a tricky science, so we’re hoping to give you some clear and actionable tips to start measuring attribution today. Whether you’re looking at running some omnichannel campaigns or if you’re wanting to measure the impact of some quick experiments, we hope these tips will have you covered.

Did you know …

The average consumer comes in contact with a brand 6 times on average before they make a purchase.

So how can you know which of those touchpoints deserves credit for the sale?

This is where attribution comes in.

Attribution is very close to another key social media metric: ROI. You probably hear about ROI more often because, well, to be honest, attribution is even trickier to measure than ROI — if you can believe that.

So maybe we should begin with defining each term and the differences between them.

The difference between ROI and attribution

ROI stands for return on investment. It is a dollars-and-cents measure of how much you earn based on how much you spend. There are related terms here too like ROAS, which stands for Return on Ad Spend. In either case, these are measuring your earnings.

Attribution is subtly different. Rather than measuring how much you earn, attribution assigns value to the channels that drove an outcome, whether it’s revenue-related or not.

For instance, ROI would measure revenue whereas attribution measures a purchase or a web visit or a download.

With attribution, you’re basically working backward from an event like a purchase or signup and figuring out what channel or channels get the credit for that event.

We’ll be focusing on attribution in this blog post, but it can get a bit muddled along with ROI. We’ll do our best to keep it all clear for you.

The three main types of marketing attribution

So attribution comes in a few different flavors. You have:

Last-touch attribution

First-touch attribution

Multi-touch attribution

This diagram from digitalthought.me does a good job of showing these different models side-by-side. The multi-touch models include Even, Time Decay, Weighted, Algorithmic, and even more.

Here are some other resources that help explain these concepts because they can get complicated, fast.

A Comprehensive Guide to Attribution

The Complete List of Marketing Attribution Models

What is Marketing Attribution?

Essentially, first-touch attribution gives full attribution credit to a person’s very first interaction with the brand, regardless of how many touchpoints occurred after the fact. If someone sees an ad on Monday and signs up after a Google search on Friday, then the Monday ad gets all the credit.

Last-touch attribution is the inverse. The very last touchpoint gets full credit. If you see an ad on Monday and sign up after a Google search on Friday, then Google gets full attribution.

We’ve found that last-touch attribution is the easiest to measure and is a great starting point if you’re just getting your feet wet with social media attribution.

However, these single-touch measurements won’t show you the complete customer journey like multi-touch attribution can. The only problem: multli-touch attribution is hard! and it requires a series set of marketing data ops.

For this reason, we won’t go too deep into multi-touch attribution — we’ll save the details for another episode — but just to give you a taste, here are a few of the models that you could consider with multi-touch:

Linear, which measures all the touchpoints and assigns equal value to every one

U-shaped, which gives 40 percent to the first touch and 40 percent to the last touch and then the remaining touchpoints share the final 20 percent

Time decay, which gives more weight to touchpoints closer to the final conversion event and less weight to those at the very beginning of the journey

We’ll share some quick ideas and tools for multi-touch toward the end of the blog post, but for now, let’s transition from models into the specific tactics for measuring some of this.

We’ll start with a few of our favorite, scrappy ideas, some of which you might already be trying.

1. Track attribution with UTMs

What are UTMs?

UTMs are the extra parameters you can attach to links so that you can track your traffic from specific sources, mediums, and campaigns. If you’ve seen a funky long URL with question marks and ampersands in it, then you’ve probably seen a link with UTM parameters.

UTMs appear in your Google Analytics reports. You can see your traffic broken down by all the different UTM parameters you use.

So, let’s say you’re running a social media campaign about how dogs rule and cats drool. You can add a UTM campaign tag of “dogsrule” to all the links you share on social media. Then, when you hop into Google Analytics later, you can see the exact traffic impact of this campaign.

Yes, there will still be the referral traffic section in Google Analytics that counts your social media traffic in aggregate.

But with UTMs, you can also drill down into utm campaigns to see the total clicks from your specific “dogsrule” links.

If you have Goals set up in Google Analytics, you can then see the attribution to things like signups or downloads or purchases. If you have revenue numbers attached, you can even get the full ROI picture.

Same goes for tools like Mixpanel or Looker or any other analytics software that you use to track results.

Now with UTMs, you’re typically going to be getting last-touch attribution. Here’s how the tech works: The UTM parameter is added to the browser in a cookie. And if a person clicks on a link with a certain UTM then clicks on a second link with a different UTM, the second UTM is the one that will get credit. And of course, if someone clears their cookies or has cookies disabled, then the UTM attribution won’t work at all.

There are some tools that track the first click also. They call this the pancake stack — first click and last click. You’ll want to check with your analytics provider or your data team to see what exactly you’re tracking.

If you’re looking to add UTMs to your social media links, there are a bunch of easy ways to do this.

First, you can do it manually by typing in the parameters at the end of your URL. These are:

utm_source=

utm_medium=

utm_campaign=

Additionally, we add these for you automatically with the Buffer product. On our paid plans you can customize the text here, too. So if you click on a Buffered link, you’ll be able to track exactly what kind of attribution it brought you.

2. Include a “How’d you hear about us” survey

These are going to be so much easier-sounding than UTMs. All you need for this form of attribution is a simple survey, placed after the event.

For example, we recently implemented this within our Buffer signup flow.

When you sign up for Buffer, we ask you a few questions, including, “How did you hear about us?”The options are:

Friend, family, or work colleague

Google search

Online advertisement

Blog post

Social media post

Other

With this data, you can then see exactly which sources send you the most attribution. We tend to think of “how did you hear about us” as first-touch attribution, though it does remain a bit open to interpretation.

At Buffer, social media accounts for our third-biggest attribution source at 10% of signups. Our top two are Google searches and word of mouth. Generally-speaking, you could expect a certain margin of error in the survey results from people giving random answers or clicking incorrectly. Still, it’s useful data to know!

3. Try bit.ly URLs to track attribution

These can help measure ballpark attribution numbers, especially when it comes to the middle of the customer journey.

Let’s say you’re wanting to see how many people came to your site from the link in your Instagram bio. Well, you can hide UTM parameters within a shortened link, and then go to your bitly dashboard to see some robust stats about clicks and timing.

This can become especially useful when you’re using a single bit.ly link across multiple channels because bit.ly will give you the conversion by channel. It’s a real-time view of your stats, versus a bigger dashboard like Google Analytics that excels at looking at previous days and macro views.

We’ve touched on some quick ways to get started with attribution — adding UTMs to your links, putting surveys onto your website, or using bit.ly to track click performance. These are great for single-touch moments of attribution.

4. Multi-touch attribution resources

Resource #1: Find a tool that will help you track the data and then place it into a multi-touch model for you.

Here’s a few ideas of what tools to try:

Bizible — This tool specializes in end-to-end marketing attribution. It was acquired by Marketo last year, so it has a ton of resources behind it. It’s one of the biggest and best tools out there for attribution. It’s not cheap — you need to hop on a demo call to get pricing. But it is an awesome solution especially if you’re wanting to integrate with a CRM like Salesforce.

In addition to Bizible, there are also tools like Impact and the appropriately-named Attribution.

Also, some of the major networks like Facebook and Google have their own attribution products that can help with multitouch attribution. Facebook Attribution covers all the different touchpoints that your user might go through in the Facebook network, which includes organic and paid on Facebook and Instagram, plus any placements on Facebook’s Audience Network and Messenger. Google’s attribution solution is now built right into Google Analytics so you can build your attribution model right in there.

The other way to look at multi-touch modeling is to be consistent with the way you model and track your social ads. This can be a huge component of the marketing journey for some brands, so it’s important to get these settings right.

Specifically, you’ll want to look into the attribution windows for your ads, and you can do this right in the ads managers for all the social networks.

Generally-speaking, there are three types of attribution windows for these ads: engagement windows, click windows and view windows. This means that if you were to set, say, a 7-day click attribution window, then the ad would take credit for the conversion for anyone who converted within seven days after clicking the ad.

There are a lot of different ways to set up these windows. Pinterest alone has 24 different options for you. The key is that you want to be comparing apples to apples so that you can easily compare the effectiveness of each channel.

One of the best places to start is with a 7-day click attribution window. This can be the same across all your social channels. You can start here and then tweak and adjust the window over time once you start seeing the results.

Of course, it goes without saying: In order to get value from attribution, it’s important to know what your social media goals are.

Since attribution is based on the events and behaviors that you want to drive … then you need to know what those events and behaviors are!

We’ve seen a ton of great examples of the different ways that brands are measuring their social media impact. When you have revenue and attribution modeling in place, you can find some really cool insights.

Here are just a few stories that eConsultancy shared in a recent blog post:

KLM looked at sales generated from customers who visited their site directly from social media and found that these customers contributed 25 million euros in sales.

MADE.COM compared the average order value of people who went to their site from social and their site average. Their social media fans spend, on average, 4 percent more per order.

Incontact trained half of their sales reps on social selling and found that these sales rep had a 160 percent bigger sales pipeline and achieved 215 percent more revenue than those without.

It’s important to remember that when you use social media as an engagement and brand-building channel, you might not generate many leads or sales directly from social media. But you would indirectly.

We’re hopeful that these attribution ideas might give you a sense of how well social media impacts those indirect leads and sales and that setting up attribution can help you know your channels better.

How to say hello to us

We would all love to say hello to you on social media – especially Twitter!

Heather-Mae on Twitter

Dave on Twitter

Thanks for listening! Feel free to connect with our team at Buffer on Twitter, Buffer on Facebook, our Podcast homepage, or with the hashtag #bufferpodcast.

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Social Media Attribution: How to Get Started published first on https://improfitninja.weebly.com/

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mariemary1 · 5 years

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Social Media Attribution: How to Get Started

When someone makes a purchase or signs up for your product, how do you know where they came from?

Especially when it comes to a top-of-funnel channel like social media, how can you ensure social gets credit for the impact it’s having?

Attribution to the rescue!

Did you know …

The average consumer comes in contact with a brand 6 times on average before they make a purchase.

So how can you know which of those touchpoints deserves credit for the sale?

This is where attribution comes in.

So maybe we should begin with defining each term and the differences between them.

The difference between ROI and attribution

Attribution is subtly different. Rather than measuring how much you earn, attribution assigns value to the channels that drove an outcome, whether it’s revenue-related or not.

For instance, ROI would measure revenue whereas attribution measures a purchase or a web visit or a download.

With attribution, you’re basically working backward from an event like a purchase or signup and figuring out what channel or channels get the credit for that event.

We’ll be focusing on attribution in this blog post, but it can get a bit muddled along with ROI. We’ll do our best to keep it all clear for you.

The three main types of marketing attribution

So attribution comes in a few different flavors. You have:

Last-touch attribution

First-touch attribution

Multi-touch attribution

This diagram from digitalthought.me does a good job of showing these different models side-by-side. The multi-touch models include Even, Time Decay, Weighted, Algorithmic, and even more.

Here are some other resources that help explain these concepts because they can get complicated, fast.

A Comprehensive Guide to Attribution

The Complete List of Marketing Attribution Models

What is Marketing Attribution?

Last-touch attribution is the inverse. The very last touchpoint gets full credit. If you see an ad on Monday and sign up after a Google search on Friday, then Google gets full attribution.

We’ve found that last-touch attribution is the easiest to measure and is a great starting point if you’re just getting your feet wet with social media attribution.

Linear, which measures all the touchpoints and assigns equal value to every one

U-shaped, which gives 40 percent to the first touch and 40 percent to the last touch and then the remaining touchpoints share the final 20 percent

Time decay, which gives more weight to touchpoints closer to the final conversion event and less weight to those at the very beginning of the journey

We’ll share some quick ideas and tools for multi-touch toward the end of the blog post, but for now, let’s transition from models into the specific tactics for measuring some of this.

We’ll start with a few of our favorite, scrappy ideas, some of which you might already be trying.

1. Track attribution with UTMs

What are UTMs?

UTMs appear in your Google Analytics reports. You can see your traffic broken down by all the different UTM parameters you use.

Yes, there will still be the referral traffic section in Google Analytics that counts your social media traffic in aggregate.

But with UTMs, you can also drill down into utm campaigns to see the total clicks from your specific “dogsrule” links.

Same goes for tools like Mixpanel or Looker or any other analytics software that you use to track results.

If you’re looking to add UTMs to your social media links, there are a bunch of easy ways to do this.

First, you can do it manually by typing in the parameters at the end of your URL. These are:

utm_source=

utm_medium=

utm_campaign=

2. Include a “How’d you hear about us” survey

These are going to be so much easier-sounding than UTMs. All you need for this form of attribution is a simple survey, placed after the event.

For example, we recently implemented this within our Buffer signup flow.

When you sign up for Buffer, we ask you a few questions, including, “How did you hear about us?”The options are:

Friend, family, or work colleague

Google search

Online advertisement

Blog post

Social media post

Other