#then ‘welcome to my special hell’ is obvs

[catgirlkirigiri]

Big ol set of amalgamate singles

#specifying singles because I want to make a general true lab cuff at some point too #anyway. there’s 4 ‘come join the fun’s because the way I did them I had to get 4 sets of the letters out anyway so I just made 4 of them lol #which those obviously are for #memoryhead #then ‘welcome to my special hell’ is obvs #lemon bread #and ‘it’s so cold’ is #snowdrakes mother #‘how many dogs’ is shortened from the check text of #endogeny #and ‘smells like a (comma)’ is neutral flavor text of my favorite guy ever #reaper bird #everyman #is the name of their attack if you didn’t know. I thought spacing out the letters looked cool lol #that’s also why there’s butterflies on those two #zoracontent #clovers kandi #amalgamates #true lab

[lucifers-golden-bitch-apparently]

So the first thing you gotta know is

We didnt like this woman, i wouldnt say hate but there was no lost love between my graduating year and the principal

Firstly she was a late replacement because our old principal had died (RIP Sammy) and they grabbed the first person they thought would be suitable (news flash...she was not)

She had spent probably most of her teaching career around kids in their single digits and had little to no experience dealing with teenagers and especially highschoolers. Why these people thought to put her in charge of a highschool idk.

Almost as sooooonnn as she started being in charge of the school she had alienated herself against the entire student population and about half of the teaching staff (according to one of my old teachers who i still talk to, shes not only tanked the status of the school but is now also universally hated by all the senor staff)

But anyways back to the main plot, one of the reasons we disliked her is because of how she handled the previous years graduation, no prom fundraisers no special events no nothing so they had a barebones graduation season

The other thing is that she treated the entire student body as if we were incompetent, since she was used to having control over children she didnt know how to deal with young adults so she just going as usual....as you can imagine we didnt like any of that

Being talked down to, not letting us do any of the activities we were due as seniors and basically running the school like a low grade military

One of the most insane things she did was in regards to our clubs. Since i went to an all girls school we obv didnt have any boys attending. Because of that they had to find other ways to socialise us so we had interschool clubs with our brother school. Every friday we'd trade off the location of where the meetings were held. The general consensus for many years was "the boys are welcome to come in on friday and come and go as they please after school because we trust everyone to act civilized" and that system worked for all of those years with no issues

Within 2 WEEKS of her being there she decided this cannot stand and had every single boy who came into the school signing their name, sign in and sign out times and hovered like a vampire bat over our proceedings. And if they left the school, they wouldnt be allowed back in till next week. Again, as you can imagine not a single one of us were pleased.

Add to that all the little annoyances....yeah

But i digress

We didnt have fights often at my school but the ones we did have were Intense, usually ending in hospital visits or anger management appointments. The consensus was dont try to break up the fights, it will end badly. She was told this multiple times. Keep that in mind

That 2 girls who ended up fighting that day had been put in anger management Multiple times because they were fighty mfs. I dont remember why they were fighting that day, could have been literally anything. But they were going at it and as my school tends to do, we were all watching. About 2 minutes into the fight the teacher i still talk to tried to talk them down from the sidelines, she got a punch to the face, sent a punch back and then went downstairs because that wasnt her business.

Our esteemed principal came out of the office like a bat out of hell and ran up the stairs through the mess of students to break up the fight. What ended up happening is that she took several blows to pretty much everywhere while screaming at the girls to stop.

While that fuckery was happening our maths teacher, who is a 6'4 brick shithouse of a man, came out of the office, took one look at the second floor, threw his trash into the bin and went right back into the office. (Because as i said no one liked her much and she was very much warned)

After about 30 more seconds of screaming idk what happened, they probably got fed up with her, and from about 100 meters away we saw her go up and over the railing and flatten the students who were trying to come up the stairs

You would think that would be enough to end the fight (and her willpower) but nope. The fight continued and she put herself right back into it. About that time i decided to go do something else because i didnt want to be a witness. By thr time i came back everyone had gone about they business, the girls were probably getting their parents and the police called on them etc etc

As far as i know principal was fine, the girls got suspended and also more anger management and i believe she sent them to get cadet training (i heard she tried to have them expelled but idk how true that was)

There was one other incident that happened with her later that year but i dont remember the full thing.

(My god this turned into a saga sorryyyyy but yh thats the story XD)

HUH.

#askkk

[sabokunsmalia]

who are your favorites to write about? :))

omg hi!! i'm switching faves too much tbh, but let me consider.

one piece, which i haven't written in ages. if i'm going for males, my personal favorites to always write about would be trafalgar law, sabo and eustass kid. currently my all time fave to write about is truly sabo, even if i don't write much op at the moment. for females, there's one woman on top, perona. fave of all time, with nico robin my beloved.

then we have attack on titan, and i think it's very much obvious on that part. former fave, current fave, and always will be my favorite pookie is eren. it's never changing. levi's a second close obvs.

and for jujutsu kaisen, oh hell. the ever changing favorite. but i have to say, yuta okkotsu has such a special place in my heart, that non-replaceable. but i'm currently obsessing hardcore over geto, and gojo. mostly geto, gojo had my undivided attention already lol.

so welcome to my current top ten of favorite characters to write about:

one: geto suguru two: eren yeager three: yuta okkotsu four: gojo satoru five: sabo six: levi ackerman seven: trafalger law eight: armin arlert nine: eustass kid ten: roronoa zoro

#aboutmalia #one piece #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #aot #attack on titan

[atsukashii]

map of the soul  •  bts special event

in my new spotify theme, i wanted to hold a small event to celebrate the 2k follower milestone as well as why the hell not. i also became aware of bts recently and have been vibing them hard core 👏🏼 so hence the theme. jungkook is a dreamboat don’t come at me.

• event status • COMPLETE •

↳ DETAILS DETAILS DETAILS

call it a short-fic-based-on-a-bts-song-and-request-like event, where you will send me a request with specific details (mentioned later on) and I will make a edit and write a short fic based on your request

there will be a maximum of 12 places in this event and much of what you receive is up to you!

↳ WHAT YOU GET

aesthetic song cover edit based on your colour of choice + the bts song I assign to your request

1000   → 2000 word drabble based on your request + my chosen bts song

↳ GUIDELINES

submit: NAME X CHARACTER + PRONOUNS + GENRE + COLOUR

✨ example ✨

name: such as the name you wish to go by (y/n x character), of course any oc you wish is fine too!

character: any characters from bnha and hq fandoms are welcome! I’ve written for specifc ones before (obvs) but i’m happy to do for one I haven’t done before it may just take me longer because i want to do them justice. 

pronouns: so that i can properly tailor the drabble for you or for your oc!

genre: you can only send one: ☀️ (sun) fluff 🌙 (moon) angst

colour: Whatever your favourite colour is, or whatever colour you wish to be associated with your request let me know because that will be the focus of the aesthetic song cover. 

request: please do not submit your request before the 21/06/21 date, as it can get lost in my inbox and I want to make it as fair as possible for people. Any submitted prior to this date will not be done.

↳ THE WORKS

✘ dynamite ➛ katsuki bakugou

✘ boy with luv ➛ kuroo tetsurō

✘ stay gold ➛ bokuto kōtarō

✘ your eyes tell ➛ kuroo tetsurō

✘ spring day ➛ izuku midoriya

✘ fly to my room ➛ takanobu aone

✘ stay ➛ katsuki bakugou

✘ life goes on ➛ daichi sawamura

✘ blue & grey ➛ fumikage tokoyami

✘ mikrokosmos ➛ tenya iida

✘ euphoria ➛ shoto todoroki

✘ butter ➛ tetsurō kuroo

✘ film out ➛ katsuki bakugou - coming soon

©️ 2021 all rights reserved to atsukashii, do not change, edit, or repost any works.

#special event 🧚‍♀️✨ #here we go again…

[donkey-hyuck]

word count- 2,710

genre- the nightmare before christmas! au (if that makes sense) || fluff || suggestive || mayb angst

characters/pairing- jack skellington! jaehyun x sally! reader || nct

warnings- suggestive scenes || does not really follow the storyline of tnbc tbh || lowercase intended || dialogue heavy!! || lmao i used festival so much || obvs if you’re v religious and don’t celebrate halloween, don’t read it pls and ty although this is purely fictional

a/n- lmao just watched the nightmare before christmas on disney+ and it gave me some inspo ;) also i love tim burton films :)) the divider is by @/firefly-graphics i’m just a pussy lmao

jaehyun was the official representative of halloween. well, halloween in your town, specifically. although he is known throughout the globe, he celebrates the special occasion in his hometown. but during the past few years, jung jaehyun had gotten bored. bored with the ongoing festivities and the same traditions. yet he didn’t want to disappoint his people, whether he knew them or not, the citizens of all ages looked up to the halloween king.

“hurry, hurry! jung jaehyun is on his way! i repeat, the halloween king is on his way!” shouted the mayor, while all the villagers were frantic to make everything perfect for this year's halloween festival.

“hurry, hurry! jung jaehyun is on his way! i repeat, the halloween king is on his way!” shouted the mayor, while all the villagers were frantic to make everything perfect for this year's halloween festival.

and as soon as the gates opened, everyone was rushing and screaming, finally being able to see jung jaehyun himself. the crowd cheered as he waved and greeted the people he oh so loved. but he was getting tired of the same old thing. for every halloween since he’d been born, the man was always left alone. the fellow women and men fawned over him, he was drop dead gorgeous, no doubt. but he wanted something more, something passionate, someone who he could love and trust, not just a one night fling.

so while everyone was cheering, you had been sitting on the farest point of the street. your creator, lee donghyuck, had no intention of seeing the man himself. although donghyuck loved jung jaehyun, he wanted to be back home, well rested and well fed. only you wanted to see jaehyun up close.

whenever jung jaehyun was invited to the lab, or came to stop by, donghyuck would always keep you locked up, and so you were never able to meet him.

“but i want to go see…. mark. he’s up with the crowd,” you begged your creator. he only held your arm back and refused to let you walk up the street without his consent. and after fighting back, you unstitched your arm to let go of the pressure and quickly ran to the closest thing you could hide behind, in hopes of getting away from donghyuck, and in chances of seeing jung jaehyun.

you had a slight feverish crush on the man, but who didn’t? even so, almost the entirety of your town loved jaehyun in one way or another. so you were pretty much hopeless. a hopeless romantic, as some would say.

hearing the shouting of donghyuck approach you, straight away, you headed toward the cemetery. a safe place, somewhere you were able to hide, to get away from your life as a creation.

while running to the farthest point of the cemetery, jaehyun had been cornered by the women of all ages.

“jaehyun, i can give you what you want. what you need,” said a young woman.

“oh don’t mind her. i can set you up with my granddaughter, a very beautiful and successful entrepreneur,” bribed an older woman.

“forget them! jung jaehyun, i will devote my entire life to you. for us to be together forever,” begged another.

he looked astonishing that night he came back. with his hair nicely styled, and his all black outfit bringing out his physique and tattooed self. no wonder why all the women were all up in him. but he was a family man, and the children had also been disturbing him as well.

“jaehyun! look what i did for the festival tomorrow.”

“look at what i can do! i’ll be as strong as the halloween king one day.”

“look at my sister jaehyun! isn’t she pretty?”

he loved the attention, but sometimes he wished they would leave him be. he had a life. a really hectic and busy life.

“we’re doing the first bunch of raffles today! get ready to collect them!” announced the mayor over his speaker, making everyone turn their heads and jaehyun to run the opposite direction, towards the cemetery.

you and he shared the same safe place. it was quiet and there was barely anyone around, so it was a good place to take a breather and relax.

planning to eventually go back to the lab, you picked some gardenias to put in donghyuck’s soup for later. hearing the district voice calling for his dog, you hid behind a tombstone and listened to the halloween king.

“zero! come here,” he patted his upper thigh. the spirit of his dog then arose from the ground and barked as jaehyun smiled and picked up a branch from the ground. he then started to say aloud, “oh, zero… i love this community very much. everyone is so welcoming and friendly, especially during the halloween season. but i just feel so suffocated. it’s the same event every year for the past four years. i want something new. i need someone new.”

you felt connected to him, in a way. the two of you were broken souls, ready to find anew; yet it never came. and it felt like it would never come. you were attentive of his wants because you were on the same boat, sort of.

as much as you loved lee donghyuck, he was very strict and it was too throttling in the lab which made you venture to the cemetery and gather gardenias to help him doze off faster.

peering through the corner of the large tombstone, you saw him standing on the edge of the cliff, playing with zero and talking to himself. while he was paying no attention whatsoever, you quietly exited the cemetery and walked the way to donghyuck’s lab.

you sauntered through the front door and walked directly to the kitchen to crush the gardenias before he was to ask for his soup.

“oh y/n!” he said in a singsongy voice, he entered the kitchen to see you stirring up a boiling pot of frogs breath soup, his favorite, with a gardenia touch.

“i’m almost done, master haechan. it’ll be up in a minute!” you spoke over your shoulder before mixing in the dash of gardenia powder into his bowl. he willingly smiled and walked back up into his research laboratory.

after the finishing touches and a sprinkle more of the gardenia powder, you brought the soup up to his room and let him gobble down the soup with a blink of an eye before going to your room— or what you called prison— to pack a basket of goodies to give to jaehyun, anonymously. but first, you sewed your arm back on.

in the basket, contained a bottle of red wine, a block of cheese, and some baked bread from the bakery down the road. as well as a not that read, ‘i know how you feel, and i’m on the same boat as you. i wish there was a way for us to escape.’

popping your head through the research lab door, you confirmed that donghyuck was knocked out cold, and should be for the next two hours.

silently, you sneakily passed through the townspeople and made it to jaehyun one hell of a house. it was on the other side of town, so by the time you reached his home, it was already evening. lee donghyuck must’ve woken up, for sure.

after you entered the gate, regret instantly filled your body. but you traveled all this way, so there was no point in stopping now. carefully, you placed the wooden basket on the doorstep and rang the door, hiding behind the wall.

jaehyun opened the door, ready to greet whoever was visiting him at that time, only to be met with no one but the basket filled with delicacies and a note. picking up the basket, he read the note, and a small smile appeared on his face before walking back into his house and closing the door.

you had been holding your breath the moment you hid behind the wall. and when the coast was clear, you breathed out the breath you had been holding, only for you to suck it back in when zero was sitting by your feet, looking up at you with his face turned. then, he barked.

“no, no, no! shhh. i don’t want him to know i’m here. please be quiet,” you pleaded while whispering. yet to no avail, as the door is opened once more because he heard his beloved dog.

“zero! zero where are you? i heard you barking, let’s go inside!” he walked around his property and finally checked the place where you were previously hiding.

“there you are. let’s get you some rest.” but zero looked to where you hid next, behind a boulder statue.

“come on, let’s go,” he patted his leg, and this time zero obliged.

“whew,” you huffed out while slowly getting up from your hiding place to walk back to the lab.

but as you were cautiously walking out of his property, jung jaehyun saw you exit his gate through his peripheral vision, he then looked to the basket he placed on his desk. and in that moment, he had to know who you were.

the next day during the halloween festival, you’d been punished for putting gardenias in his soup as well as sneaking out. donghyuck locked you up in your room and the only thing you could do was look out the window to see the villagers enjoy their time.

jaehyun had woken up early that morning, to get ready to find his secret admirer he hoped was going to be at the festival. he dressed as nicely as he could, making sure to gel back his hair and wear a nice suit for the occasion. he then stuck the note you gave him inside the pocket of his blazer. and he knew what he was getting himself into. if he were to ask anyone who knew about the note, they would lie and say they did. but it was worth a shot.

he vividly remembered your pin straight hair, reaching down your back, as well as those tiny black heels that were about two inches high. but that was all he did remember and he was unfortunate enough to not be able to see your face.

so, jaehyun just observed.

when he reached the main part of the festival, crowds of townspeople filled the street, excited for the day to come. and when people started to notice the halloween king was there, they gathered around him and showed him everything there was possible. however, jaehyun knew it was just all the same activities and booths. everything that just tired him out. they needed something new, something fresh.

“jaehyun! you’re here early,” said the mayor, but the man was not paying attention, rather he was maneuvering his head around, trying to spot ‘the one.’ noticing this, taeyong bumped him on his shoulder, now worried.

“... is everything alright?” asked the mr. lee in an anxious voice. to which jaehyun just smiled reassuring the mayor.

“everything is perfectly fine, mr. lee! but to keep this between you and me…” he paused for a moment, looking around and taeyong leaned closer to jaehyun. “.... i’m sorta looking for someone. she gave me this note yesterday and as well as a bag of goodies.” but the mayor was surprised by his statement, and he screamed louder than he should’ve.

“woah, woah! the halloween king has a crush on someone? you have a secret admirer!” he tried to hush him but it was too late, the people had already heard.

questions started to arise and the people started to gather around jaehyun again. asking when, where, and more commonly, who. he refused to answer the uprising interrogations and ran the farthest he could.

he ended up hiding in the bushes of lee donghyuck’s lab. when he was sure there was no one who had been following that far, he stood up from the bush and dusted himself off. it seemed like he got ready for purely nothing.

the man paced back and forth, rereading the note you had given him and throwing small stones to the wall of the lab. hearing all the commotion, you gazed out the window to see jung jaehyun, reciting the note over and over again. you listened for a bit, until you remembered the throwing stones part.

“..... you know… master haechan will be upset if he finds you chucking rocks at his lab,” you spoke up as he chuckled at the sentence. he looked up to where the voice was to be already met with your chin resting on your crossed arms, looking down to him.

“calm down, it’s only stones. besides, the professor loves me,” he bragged. “what are you doing up there anyways? shouldn’t you be at the festival?” he asked with his brows furrowed.

“yeah, but i disobeyed the master yesterday. got stuck locked up.” you didn’t know you had the confidence to have a regular conversation with the man you’ve always admired. jaehyun only smiled and replied, “how about i save you then, princess?” your pulse was racing, and you didn’t know how to feel. after a few moments of silence, you looked back down.

“master haechan is at the festival. probably with the mayor or his great uncle taeil. if you ask, he’ll probably give you the master key.” jaehyun nodded and ran back to the scene of the festival to find the professor to bail you out.

when he came back, he immediately opened the front door and walked up the stairs to try and find you. but when he was gone to look for donghyuck, you’d been pacing around your room, anxious. why did you tell him? you thought to yourself over and over. but every one of your thoughts came to a stop when the jiggling of the key became clear. you were really doing this.

somehow, you were more afraid of getting caught that day than the previous. if donghyuck knew jaehyun came to get you out, you’d be in much bigger trouble.

he was finally able to hear the click and opened the door. a full smile plastered on his face, showcasing the dimples people fawned over. shyly, you smiled back and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear catching me do the debby ryan HAHAHA.

jaehyun held out his hand and instantaneously he knew, you were the one. without any further conversation, he dragged you to the place he loved; the cemetery.

while talking about no specific topic, he brought up the shenanigan you pulled yesterday, although he was grateful you did.

“so, were you the one that stopped by last night? and gave me the basket…” he ceased his walking, “who gave me this note?” he pulled the note from inside his blazer. if you thought your anxiety was bad when he was bailing you out, it did not compare to the amount of anxiety you were feeling in that moment.

“...uh… yes i did... did you not like it?,” you stuttered, getting jittery. he only cooed in adoration as he cupped your cheek. “don’t worry, my love. you’re the first one to ever give me a gift that thoughtful. even gave me my favorite red wine.” his response made you sigh out of relief as he just smiled softly and rubbed his thumb against your cheekbone. it was an intimate moment. but slowly, jaehyun found himself leaning closer and closer to you.

grazing his lips against yours he whispered, “thank you,” and pushed himself closer to your lips, catching the gasp that escaped your lips. you were left shocked, with your eyes wide opened and your figure stood there awkwardly, not kissing back. but the man grabbed you by your waist, gently, and his other hand rested on your jawline as you responded back.

it was a slow, yet needy kiss. desperate to have each other but savoring the moment. his tongue met your bottom lip as he turned his head to kiss you deeper, his nose now tickling your right cheek. he then stopped and removed his lips with a pop.

“i think i found my escape this halloween,” he was breathless.

“i think i did too.”

#nct #nct 127 #nct jaehyun #nct 127 jaehyun #jung jaehyun #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #jaehyun au #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun angst #jaehyun x reader #jeong jaehyun

[toorumochi]

KaruShuu as Parents

Am I obsessed with doing KaruShuu head canons? Absolutely.

Will I spam my Tumblr with them? Oh you bet I will.

Today, I present to you: KaruShuu if they were parents!

Before you read, I don't think it's that important (lol) but me and my dear friend were doing some KaruShuu family themed Scenarios and I am obv in love with each and one of them, but basically KaruShuu have three kids there, (adopted):

A 14 y.o daughter named Dai

A 10 y.o son named Touma

And a probably 1-2 y.o baby girl named Mika

(Pls don't attack me we just needed kids names for our scenarios and we went with these to not get confused 😭)

Oh and again, before we start I want to make something clear: KaruShuu would be the best parents ever. I don't make the rules. ✨

Who carries the kids from the couch/car to the bed? - Karma and while he is taking the kids out, Shuu quickly gets out of the car/ or gets off the sofa to make the bed for their kids so they can sleep.

And who soothes the kids after a nightmare? - I think both would; both would be the type to be the best soothers when it comes to nightmares since they as kids probably didn’t have anyone to comfort them. (T^T)

Who wants to throw out the car seat because the stupid thing won’t strap in? - Karma lmao

Who cries on the first day of school?  - Karma (NFSIWEF PLEASE-) But Shuu would too when he gets home bc he will be like "my babies are going to schoollll T^T" with a mix of "I miss them so much"

Who gets the kids into the local sports team? - IMAGINE KARMA AS AN COMPETETIVE PARENT ON THOSE PARENTS AND KIDS GAMES AND MY GOD- HE WOULD BE A B E A S T.

And who’s the parent that gets way too aggressive at these games? - KARMA AGAIN BUT SHUU WON'T HESITATE TO CHEER FOR THEM ❤️❤️

Who lets the kids stay up and watch movies and who sends them to bed? - Karma would let them stay up late but there must be a good reason, like studying late or maybe Saturday/Sunday night to watch movies. Shuu on the other hand says when it comes to studying for example: "Grades are important, but sleep is more important so please go rest" (Also this quote is actually from my own parents <3) (I love Shuu so much he would be an ‘A+++’ parent)

Who sneaks candy to the kids before school, whilst the other pretends not to notice? - Karmaaaaa buttt~

On maybe special days, Shuu would as well and then the kids are like "We had two portions of sweets today, dad!" and Shuu is like: "What-" and that would be the way he would find out that Karma has been sneaking candy into the bags of their kids for the past years-

Who is the parent that yells at the kid for being called to the principal’s office and who is the parent who yells at the principal? - O H, THEY SHALL N E V E R YELL AT THE KIDS OMG- PLS- THEY WOULD LITERALLY R I P O P E N THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE DOOR AND KICK THIS MF- ESPECIALLY SHUU BC HE HAS THE FEELING OF HIS FATHER STILL BEING A PRINCIPAL SO HE HITS ESPECIALLY HARD 💪🏼💪🏼

Who teaches their son to tie a tie and who explains periods to their daughter? - Shuu teaches the tie bc even Karma can't do it on his own to his tie, and when it comes to periods then both would explain it and maybe if they fail lol Auntie Rio to rescue ❤️😩

Who cries at graduation? - Both lolol But fr now, they would be so excited for it?? Bc I'm sure that (yes Shuus father was the principal but what if Gakuho wasn't a principal, he wouldn't attend Gakushuus graduation ceremony? I made myself cry one again- God damnit.) they would be there with small gifts, and photo cameras all excited bc woahhh my kid is so big now <3 as well as they would take them somewhere as a celebration ❤️❤️ They would be amazing

Who reads the book in silly voices? - Karma, and while he is doing so, Shuu is maybe sitting in the living room and is listening and chuckles under his breath (what a cutie)

Who’s the one against sweets before dinner and who lets it slide? - Shuu is against it but Karma says "Let them be~ But. they have to brush their teeth later on"

Who gets rid of the monster in the closet and under the bed? - PleASE- Karma would make a mf circus out of it, like he would play it off as if the monster is eating his hand (which isn't good bc their kids started crying anddd shuu got a little bit mad) but they managed to 'defeat' the monster.

Which parent sneaks veggies into the kids’ dinner and who doesn’t like veggies themselves? - Both like veggies~

Who does the “hurt my baby and I’ll kill you” speech when their kid brings someone over? - KARMA TO THEIR ELDEST DAUGHTERS GF/BF PLS- Imagine, Dai (here taking as an example since she is the eldest also again: please it's just taken as an example!! T^T) coming home with a boy and they have to do a school project and KARMA greets them at the front door, and Dai is just:

"Hello Dad" and she is taking her shoes off, and Karma is just "Hi~ Welcome back~" with a hella sweet voice, and then he glances up and STARES INTO THIS DUDES S O U L just scares the hell out of him :D

Who goes on all the rides with the kids because their partner gets queasy on rides? - KARMA WOULD ENJOY THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE RIDES IN AMUSEMENT PARKS WITH DAI AND TOUMA, WHILE SHUU WATCHES FROM AFAR HOLDING THE BABY ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED

#KaruShuu #Karma and Shuu as parents??? Uhm yes please?? #Please I love them so much #Karma x Gakushuu #Dai Akabane #Touma Akabane #Mika Akabane #KaruShuu as Parents #Parenting KaruShuu #Auntie Rio ❤️

[oofjaemin]

⌠ NAM JOO-HYUK, 25, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, JAEMIN ‘ JAE ’ WOO! according to their records, they’re a SECOND year, specializing in DRIVER’S ED + COVERT OPS; and they DID go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of ( lipstick stains on shirt collars, sweaty sprints at dawn to start the day, being shirtless for no apparent reason, soft smirks when he’s up to no good ). when it’s the ( cancer )’s birthday on 7/17/1995, they always request their HAEJANGGUK from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.

i’ll do a proper graphic / maybe add to this when it’s not 7am buuuut.... here’s jae — i just wanna say i now have four muses on the torres floor so that’s automatically the best floor x

some of his character parallels: 

stirling archer | archer - 96 %

samantha jones | sex and the city - 96 %

lucifer morningstar | lucifer - 95 %

barney stinson | how i met your mother - 95 %

maeby funke | arrested development - 93 %

chuck bass | gossip girl - 92 %

EL PINTERESTO

anyways. he a massive Hoe. i feel it had to be done after 3 of my muses coupled up 

his fam are part of The Spy Life, actually used to be very good friends with a certain mr steven park’s family until jae kinda... was jae and they split the bond, rip xx

he didn’t do anything major but the parks really didn’t want him around their sons, but jae doesn’t listen to rules or authority and said fuck that, i do what i want ?? plus he was hella close to both steve n andrew so he legit didn’t care what their parent’s wishes were and that kinda forced their hand to put a stop to it

he’s just very very impulsive, chooses fun and pleasure above all else and isn’t the most mature, a chaotic neutral.... jeez wonder why the parks wanted better for their kids JHSBJHBS

anywhoooo he actually gets on well with his own family !! has a sister who is very obedient, hard working and polite ( maybe i’ll do a wc ?? ) and while his parents do want him to succeed and focus in life.... they’ve known jae all his life and frankly they’re tired of repeating themselves and have found it’s better to just let him be as he’s much worse when he rebels

you’d think a twenty five year old would be less childish but ???? fuck age norms

he is actually very intelligent ?? sometimes 

his family have a tradition of attending university before a spy academy, to sort of prove your worth, intelligence, hard work, determination etc and it’s a bit of security to fall back on if anything were to happen to the family, their ties in the spy world, or themselves as individuals — plus it can be used as a something of a cover too ! plus... if you don’t do this step, the family consider you inadequate and you won’t get any money !!! 

it was a big incentive for jae who likes expensive cars and jetting round the world without a care so he studied law at cambridge and part of him thinks about ditching the spy world all together and becoming a lawyer but he’s dissuaded by the difference in potential money jhbjshbjs

his dad wanted him in weapons training but he said ‘ no x ’ and chose driver’s ed instead bc he likes to skrr skrrrrrr but don’t let him in ur car bc he might wreck it... not bc he can’t drive but he’s just a bloody idiot and will try and see if he can flip it or something

he’s a massive dick to his hook ups, tho not so much intentionally, but defo the type to be less than interested in you as soon as he’s finished jsbjhbjhbthe classic ‘ you’re still here ? ’ if he’s woken up and you’re beside him — but he can be quite a gentleman beforehand to ensure he sleeps with you, so i’ll apologise now for him xxx

has a lot of ‘ friends ’ but probs only a small few of people he’d actually put before himself ( imma say steve exclusively ) 

he’s just a bit of a mess about, likes to play and doesn’t really care who’s expense it comes at as long as it’s not his but he’s not like a full on dick or outwardly mean for the sake of it, he just does what he wants and what he wants can change quite quickly so he’s not one to be sentimental or put the effort in to ensure you’re not offended or hurt

drinks a lot, smokes a bit, other drugs occasionally 

pansexual but defo Het Energy bc he’s probs only slept w girls im p sure

was in the chess club at cambridge like a loser

he 6′2 : ) 

brain kinda empty but i think i covered everything ??? 

some connections i’d love 

defo hook ups plssssssssss, even if it’s ex ones or a one night stand kind of thing, i feel if he continuously hooks up w someone they defo know he’s not keeping up the act of being polite n courteous so ??? can either be mutual or a thing they clash on — i’d say he probs has a preference for feminine peeps but only bc he’s never explored the other side of things but he’d be down to, for sure, i just do not think he’s a bottom so JHBHSJHB

some fitness friends, he really loves going for runs and jogs and wouldn’t mind a buddy to do it alongside him, same with just general gym buds or sparring partners !! 

family friends / enemies / neutral ? the woos are fairly known in korea, obvs they’ve cut ties w the parks so it could have some collateral w other families !!

someone he annoys the hell out of, bickering 24/7 ???? sign me tf up !! maybe they’re just as immature as he is or literally can’t stand him at all !! 

ok i think thats it but may add to when i wake up : ) pls either like dis, react when i post it in discord, or simply message me for plots n ideas !!! i will probs post an open tho if u wud rather see the vibe n chemistry !!! 

@gallagherintro

#gallagher:intro #i think i did really well on this to say what time it is

[flamingodingo]

Merlin- S1:E1- The Dragon’s Call

Hey so I decided to rewatch Merlin because I never quite finished it and don’t remember what happened enough to pick up where I left off, and I thought I’d blog my thoughts about it! All I really remember, besides the obvious, is how remarkably shippable Arthur and Merlin were despite that clearly not being the writers intention. I have a feeling I’ll come to the same conclusion with this rewatch, especially since I’m starting out with my gay goggles on, but who knows?? Let’s gooooooooooooooooo

**obv this will not be spoiler free but A. The show has been over for a long time and B. all spoilers will be under the cut**

Hey so now that I’ve done this, I’d decided I don’t want to continue because I simply don’t care that much about this show. So, sorry if you enjoyed this, don’t expect any more.

Colin Morgan is honestly the most adorable little nugget of a man <3

Ok this CGI effect for the reveal of the kingdom is .... not good actually .... 

The score, however, is gorgeous. I mean we all know the main theme is a bop but just listen to the music as he looks around here, it’s so grand and fantastic.

All of this video quality is actually just not great, when the heck is this from again? *googles* It aired in 2008. I feel like 2008 TV looked better than this but I was also only 10 so what do I know.

I love Uther’s style of crown. It’s very simple and dignified.

I truly can’t imagine why people would choose to attend an execution. Like, what compels someone to go witness something like that? I know the past was boring, what with the lack of television and the illiteracy of the general population, but how do you get so bored you go watch someone get beheaded for a bogus crime like “conspiracy to use magic”?

LMAO these effects are corny as hell actually- re: sorceress disappearing in the wind.

What a weird welcome to Camelot for Merlin.

I like how Gaius just interrogates this stranger in his house about his magical ability with no idea whatsoever who he is.

Gaius is like a million years old and he still has a better hairline than me, honestly how rude.

Loving Morgana’s willingness to tell off Uther.

Uther says Morgana wasn’t around 20 years ago, how old is she supposed to be?

Traveling in the past must have been fucking terrifying. Even with guards, I can’t imagine just pitching a tent in the middle of the woods on my way to wherever and sleeping peacefully. If you’re out there traveling, who knows who else might be?

It’s so incredible how far we’ve come with special affects. That sorceress melting into the singer lady must’ve been relatively impressive when this aired and now I just chuckled at it.

Arthur is such a dick and I hate it but fuck he’s so handsome.

Merlin is such a good boy to stand up to Arthur. I mean, even not knowing he’s the prince, that’s still a pretty bold thing to do to someone who is obviously still wealthier and more powerful than you, particularly when he has a whole gaggle of idiots to support him and he’s just proven he knows his way around a weapon.

“Do you know how to walk on your knees?”  “No.”  “Would you like me to help you?”  “I wouldn’t if I were you.”  “Why? What are you going to do to me?”  “You have no idea.” Who wrote these lines and then let them say them so remarkably homosexually? Like really, truly, who watched them act this scene and went “Ah yes, this tension is exactly perfect and does not feel at all sexual”?

Do you think Uther knows his son is a gigantic asshole? Like, do you think if he found out Arthur had Merlin thrown in jail just for calling him an ass, he would have had him freed because “well he’s right, you know”? Probably not.

Gwen is so incredibly beautiful <3 And she’s kind, too. What a lady, I love her.

Interesting, the actors are saying Guinevere, but the subtitles are saying Gwenhwyfer.

I can see how throwing food at people in the stocks would be fun, actually, especially if it’s like someone who pickpocketed you.

Choosing to keep one dragon “as an example” is basically asking for someone to come free that dragon. It is immensely hubristic to assume that nothing would go wrong with that.

Ok I know that doll in “Lady Helen’s” room is kind of sketchy but especially as someone who doesn’t know anything about the materials required for magic, I have no idea what prompts Merlin to start going through her stuff.

“Lady Helen’s” purple dress really does something for me. That’s a great cut and color, thought tbh the material looks kinda cheap.

I love Merlin’s little neck scarf thing. Maybe I should get one of them. It’d look exceptionally queer on me.

Alright so that bit earlier with the blind man was questionable but this whole “deaf as well as dumb” comment really isn’t necessary. I know Arthur is an asshole and also it’s 2008 so I don’t really expect better, it’s just still gross. We’ve taken some big steps in the US re: LGBTQ+ folks and recently there has been a surge in the push for racial justice, I hope the next movement that gets some extra traction is disability rights. So much ableism is embedded in our language, culture, and comedy and it’s really not ok. We have a lot of work to do.

“I could take you apart with one blow.” “I could take you apart with less than that.” THIS IS VERY GAY IM SORRY IT IS JUST INCREDIBLY GAY

I have no idea where Merlin got all his audacity but I really enjoy it. Like, “How long have you been training to be a prat, my lord?”? That’s gold.

“There’s something about you, Merlin. I can’t quite put my finger on it.” THIS IS ALSO QUITE GAY

Merlin is SO dramatic, how old is he supposed to be?

I mean his dramatics are a bit, uh, dramatic, but he really is just sweet and lost and scared. I can’t imagine having all that power, totally effortlessly, and not having any idea why but knowing I can’t use it.

Merlin sleeps in a room, but Gaius sleeps in the middle of his workshop. so, did Gaius give up his room to Merlin could have one? That’d be incredibly sweet.

There is a candle burning on Gaius’ nightstand while he sleeps. That’s a fire hazard? 

Why the fuck was the gate to get down to the dragon open?????? 

I’m so distracted by the quality of these special effects. They’re not like truly horrible but they’re not quite good yet either and I think it’s the inbetween state here that’s getting me.

Merlin has this habit of entering rooms really quietly and it really seems to be how he gets himself into trouble quite often.

While I am on the Arthur/Merlin train 100%, I see and respect Gwen/Merlin shippers. They’re both horrendously awkward, it’s very funny.

Morgana’s dress is so hot.

“Lady Helen’s” dress is fugly

I wonder what language this song is in.

This lip synching is really bad omg

Imagine being so out of touch that you think making someone your son’s servant is a reward. Like I get that working in the royal household is an honor or whatever but he’s still literally a servant

Ok but how is calling Arthur Merlin’s destiny NOT gay? I mean come on. 

#merlin #merlin liveblog #tw capital punishment #Merlin S1:E1 #Merlin: The Dragon's Call #TW ableist language #real life

[vulcansmirk]

HI!! I'm your classified cultivator!!! Sorry for sending you this ask so late, there was a technical error with mdzsnet but it's fine now! I really look forward to get to know you and become your friend!! I ask these questions to every mdzs fan I meet so don't think there's any pressure in giving a week thought out answer!! Have you read/watched any mxtx novels other than mdzs? What are your favourite problematic characters? Thoughts on the mdzs chibi donghua? IT'S SO CUTE RIGHT?? - 🌼

Aaaahh hello friend!!! Welcome! I’m so excited haha ❤️ Getting right down to it, since I’m so slow to respond lol:

Have you read/watched any mxtx novels other than mdzs?

Noooooo lol I’m the worst. Taken a look at some of the others and I’m really intrigued!!! But a) I’m still deep in CQ-Hell (lol) and b) I’m literally in the last like two weeks of my masters degree, so I’m a teeny bit busy hahaha. Trying real hard to be a Responsible Adult™️. If you have any recs for where I should turn next, I’d love to hear!!

What are your favorite problematic characters?

Tbh every character in MDZS is in one way or another problematic and I love them all for that. Special soft spots for bisexual ADHD disaster genius Wei Wuxian (obvs), my tactless furious purple fruit son Jiang Cheng, and weirdly??? Wen Zhuliu???? I just feel like he’s probably an okay dude but he got sucked into the wrong situation early on and he can’t get out. He’s got his principles but they’ve been warped by trauma. That boy has a STORY to tell okay

Thoughts on the MDZS chibi donghua? IT’S SO CUTE RIGHT?

IT IS ITS SO CUTE tho admittedly I haven’t actually??? Watched any of the donghua???? I just see snippets all over haha I’m a fraud. I watched CQL and read the novel and then ????????

Do you recommend the donghua?? I haven’t really watched anything like that since my shameful weeaboo phase in junior high lol (slowly reconciling a genuine appreciation for anime with a nuanced humanitarian perspective on cultural exchange though. We’re healing ❤️)

I actually did research to figure out what kind of flower that is (bc I am a nerd, obviously) and I’m p sure it’s a coreopsis so!!! Esteemed cultivator, I hereby dub thee Corey 🌼❤️ Pleased to meet you!!

#I’M SO SLOW I’M SORRY #classified cultivator #🌼 #cultivator corey #mdzsnetcc #ask the next question

[barbariccia]

i’ve always thought omega had a really cool design. it’s a gritty place, in keeping with its name - omega ( Ω or ω ), as the last letter of the greek alphabet, tends to symbolize the end of something (typically in a line or list of things that have come previously), especially in christian camps, contrasting alpha ( Α or α ) which refers to the beginning. the alpha and the omega are a title of christ and apt enough, meaning that christ is the beginning and the end of all things.

suitable, then, that omega is in terminus space - the end of civilization - and frequently left abandoned, in the corse of an asteroid.

as you land, you’re approached by a salarian, and then a batarian, who tells the salarian to make himself scarce after a brief meeting. the batarian turns to us.

Moklan: Blasted scavengers. Welcome to Omega... Shepard.

turns out we’re not exactly on the down-low, and they’ve had their eyes on us since the second we stepped into omega space, with the so-called leader aria wanting to know why a dead spectre is in her area. we’re told in no uncertain terms to go make ourselves known to her, and, well, we don’t exactly know where we’re meant to be going to find our scientist yet, so we might as well.

aria t’loak resides in the afterlife club, because just because you’re at the end of all things doesn’t mean there’s nowhere else to go. it’s big and gaudy and in high demand; a vid of three asari strippers dancing plays directly above the entrance, and a line of people is waiting impatiently to get by the elcor bouncer, who’s got no time for these people who aren’t on the list. and boy, it’s gaudy on the inside, too, with the hallway leading to the club proper playing images of flickering fire. oh, and the lighting in here is atrocious, truly suitable for a nightclub.

there’s a little pack of batarians who think you’re looking at them wrong, and you get to tell them to pound dirt before you enter afterlife... which is a wholeass spectacle.

it’s dark and dingy and there’s asari dancing above the bar, where you can order as many drinks as you like from, courtesy of a well-dressed turian barkeep. after a little dutch courage, you can go up to the next level, to the private lounge where aria keeps her eye on the rest of the club, and as you ascend the stairs, she speaks.

it’s a whole mexican standoff of sorts, guns pointed in every direction, and me just wanting a nice chat with a new friend. :( her batarian bodyguard scans us with his omnitool - and even if you object, you’ve no choice but to suffer through this.

Shepard: I was told you’re the person to talk to if I have questions.

Aria: Depends on the questions.

Shepard: You run Omega?

aria might just be my favourite asari in the franchise; she still suffers from “skin on display even while dressed” disease, but she feels fully autonomous and doesn’t put up with bullshit. sure, the idea of a Tough Woman is a whole trope in and of itself, but in a series where belonging to this particular race throws you firmly into one of three feminine ideals while considering them a magical space-elf race that everyone’s attracted to by rote, it’s real nice to see an example that doesn’t do the same thing as everyone else. hell, even benezia is blown out of the water by aria, who doesn’t come across as evil so much as self-serving, and tough to keep her iron rule going.

Shepard: One scan and we’re straight to business? People are usually more concerned about who I am.

Aria: Your death was downplayed, but hardly what I call a secret. I had to make sure it was really you. You could have been anyone. Anything.

Shepard: Tell me how you got set up here.

Aria: That’s as privileged as information gets. I have many friends and enemies I keep at varying distances. I don’t count you among either. We’ll see how useful you prove. Short answer: mind your own damn business.

Shepard: You must know what’s on Omega.

Aria: Everything that’s worth knowing. I don’t usually give it out freely. Information is power. Mundane things, you can find yourself. Take a walk in a back alley, or buy one of the mercs a drink. Better yet, talk to the entertainers. They give great tours.

there are two dossiers to fulfill on omega, and you can ask aria about both of them.

Archangel is a mercenary commander whose operations are noted for their technical expertise and strategic brilliance. He is responsible for high-profile attacks on gang leaders on Omega and can likely be found there.

Dr. Mordin Solus is a salarian biological weapons expert whose technology may hold the key to countering Collector attacks. He is currently operating a medical clinic in the slums of Omega.

Shepard: I’m trying to track down Archangel.

Aria: You and half of Omega. You want him dead, too?

Shepard: Why’s everyone after him?

Aria: He thinks he’s fighting on the side of good. There is no good side to Omega. Everythign he does pisses someone off. It’s catching up to him.

Shepard: Just the kind of guy I’m looking for.

Aria: Really? Well, aren’t you interesting. You’re going to make some enemies teaming up with Archangel. That’s assuming you can get to him. He’s in a bit of trouble right now. The local merc groups have joined forces to take him down. They have him cornered, but it sounds like they’re having trouble finishing him off, and started hiring anybody with a gun to help them.

Shepard: What can you tell me about him?

Aria: Not as much as I’d like. He showed up here several months ago and started causing all sorts of problems. If you make your own laws -- which everyone her does -- he makes life difficult. He’s reckless and idealistic. But he seems to know enough to stay clear of me.

she tells us that every major merc group is after archangel right now, which is incredible in itself, because they’re never seen together unless they’re warring. archangel has done the impossible.

Shepard: Know where I can find Mordin Solus?

Aria: The salarian doctor? Last I heard he was trying to help plague victimes in the quarantine zone. I always liked Mordin. He’s as likely to heal you as he is to shoot you.

Shepard: What can you tell me about him?

Aria: Used to be part of the Salarian Special Tasks Group. He’s brilliant and dangerous. Just don’t get him talking. He never shuts up. If you really need to find him, take a shuttle to the quarantine zone. No guarantee they’ll let you in, of course.

that’s all aria has to say; we take a trip downstairs to sign up with the blue suns to hunt down and flush out archangel. but not before some sexism!!

you DO NOT GET THIS LINE or any equivalent if you’re playing as a male shepard. all the recruiter says is “you three look like you could do some damage. looking for a good fight?” and BOY FUCKING HOWDY why would you include this. why would you include this line at all. why would anyone think this was a good idea. why would you not include an equivalent for mshep if you were going to do this. i hate this line and i lose my fucking temper every time i think about it because wow, guess fucking what, we never see any batarian females! we never see any salarian females! we never see any god damn turian female characters! we don’t know SHIT about the women of this universe and oh, it’s so gratifying to know that even in the future, even across the galaxy, even non-humans don’t value women as equal to men. where’s your culture differences? where’s your fucking worldbuilding? you cannot mean to tell me the entire galaxy works on the same sexist paradigm of “man good women weak hurrhurr” because that’s so fucking lazy and weak and i despise it.

you get a choice (renegade, obvs), to pull a pistol on the guy, and then the lines carry on as usual. you buy into the blue suns, making a note to kill every one of the bastards when you’re done picking up archangel, and leave the club to find a transport just outside, where we’ll be carried away to the fight against archangel. as you leave, there’s a human kid that walks in and wants to join the fight as well - you can ask him just how old he is, and do a paragon interrupt to stop him from joining a fight that’s already taken out countless teams trying to get to this merc, but i was angry enough that i let it slide. teach the kid a lesson about trying to be fucking macho and the consequences.

grumbles loudly.

#mol plays me2

[laylabahiti]

HSHQTASK005: A REFLECTION 

i originally posted this task in march 2017, so almost 3 years ago (wow). i already regret looking at this old one lmao

001. name / age / pronouns

2017: xee / twenty / she, her 2020: xee / twenty-three / she, her — fun fact, mine and evy’s bdays are 2 days apart #taurussquad

002. which character(s) do you play?

2017: my complicated af beaN layla. idek what’s going on with her at this point. 2020: i’m screaming i can’t believe i thought 2017 layla was complicated. i had no idea what was to come. i picked up biel not long after that. also had katalina aka brucey’s wifey n i miss her. juliana is a fairly recent addition and, i’m about to spill the beans, a glücksburg is coming.

003. nationality / ethnicity / timezone

2017: american / lots of white european and the other half o’ me is ashkenazi jewish / right now i’m back and forth between pst and mst. homeland is mst though. 2020: obvs nothing has changed except no more back and forth with timezones. strictly mst now.

004. tell us a bit about your  home state.

2017: it’s the first day of spring and we almost reached 100 degrees F :’) we don’t really have autumn or spring here tho. it’s either hot as balls summer or frozen. no in between. like, as soon as temps get below 70 F people break out their jackets. 2020: welcome to the desert, “it’s a dry heat”

005.  favourite color / fruit / season

2017: green / honeydew melon / spring 2020: still green and all its shades / tbh idk how i chose a fave fruit bc i raaarely eat it but bananas and watermelon too / “spring”

006. favourite books + writer whose writing style you admire the most

2017: this isn’t a fair question smh. i have too many titles and names going through my head at once to answer this. 2020: still no fave so i’m just gonna answer this with what i’m currently reading. it’s called suffer strong and it popped up on my insta feed last week (big brother is listening and they know i’m a stressed mf) cheese moment: i admire all ur writing styles :~)

007. what kinda music do you listen to + any fave bands / musicians

2017: listen to a lil bit of everything. these ‘favorite’ questions are difficult for me to answer 2020: same answer tho i grew up listening to the eagles so they hold a special place in my heart n soul. i get to go see them in a couple months (hopefully w my dad) and i’m v excited

008. what are you doing for a living / what are you studying?

2017: lmAO well rn i work in the kitchen of a gas station (sah classy). 2020: went from working in the store to working in corporate *finger guns* apparently i never said what i was studying but i was still in school then. justice studies with a minor in military leadership and certifications in human rights and socio-legal studies. then i studied astrophysics with minors in cyber intel + security and math for a semester, but i didn’t want any more debt ajskdf

009. what’s your dream occupation?

2017: IDK but it has to involve happiness and a nice salary. i have to feed my zoo somehow. 2020: what r dreams lmao

010. relationship status

2017: single then. single now. single forever. 2020: every time i think about putting myself out there, something happens. i don’t have time to date atm

011. coffee, tea or hot chocolate?

2017: it depends on the weather. if it’s cold i’ll have hot chocolate. i usually drink tea at meals whenever though. 2020: i blame my work for all the coffee i drink now, but still all of the above. 

012. dream holiday destination?

2017: santorini 2020: honestmeme....where the hell did i pull santorini from. idk i was supposed to go to iceland for study abroad last year but yknow i withdrew from the university. i still wanna go tho

013. the thing you’re most proud about yourself

2017: not afraid to stand up for myself + others 2020: young me made it sound noble but honestly i’ll put ppl in their place, i don’t have patience anymore jakdas. but tbh right now i guess it’s my perseverance? life has been shitty for a few months but u gotta keep on truckin’

014. tell us a bit about your family!

2017: goD they’re nuts. i’m the middle child out of all my siblings but the youngest on my dad’s side. large age gaps are common, like half my sisters are old enough to be my mom. lots of grand babies and great grand babies. when we’re all together (like this past weekend) it’s ….wild. communication is v poor too. i only have one brother out of my eight siblings, and all those siblings are only half-related to me. at 5′5 i’m one of the tallest in the fam which says a lot. 2020: they’re still nuts n i don’t speak to my mother anymore. i should probs add that my parents have been divorced since i was a few months old so she hasn’t been in the pic for a while. even when she had custody of me jaksldf find me ron howard i’ll give him the rights to my life story

015. how long have you known your closest friend?

2017: three years. 2020: we’re going on 6 years jaksdf i’ll be maid of honor in her wedding this year. i also have another friend that i failed to mention last time but we’ve been close for 9 years (jfc)

016. superpower you’d like to have?

2017: invisibility 2020: mind reading so i know who’s Fake jaklsdjf

017. celebrity you’d like to meet?

2017: john stamos ?? idk i never really thought about it. i’ve met michael phelps though!! 2020: ig i’ll stick with stamos?? ooh or steve carrell or jennifer aniston. 

018. guilty pleasures

2017: chocolate and french fries. i love love love french fries. 2020: now my guilty pleasure is dr. pepper bc i cut it out of my diet.

019. pet peeves

2017: mouth noises (misophonia). people talking over each other and not listeninG. lowkey people leaving the toilet seat up or leaving toilet paper in the toilet like…just flush again. 2020: i really went off on tp huh?? another pet peeve is people committing to something then backing out/flaking without a heads up

020. do you have any hobbies?

2017: sports !!! i’m a grade a heaux for sports. tennis, archery, golf. anything that doesn’t require lots of muscle ya feel. one of my ~hobbies~ i guess is organizing things. i have multiple planners and use them all daily. 2020: i miss how sporty n active i was jkasdf this is my hobby.

021. where would you like to live in the future?

2017: i would looooooove to live in san diego but i’ll probs be stuck in the desert drylands. 2020: tbh i was looking into memphis homes bc it’s cheap compared to here but i don’t really care where i end up. just want a place of my own yknow

022. tell us a story about a thing that recently happened to you! it can be a funny, scary, sad story, your pick!

2017: redacted bc it was college angst lmao and not pretty 2020: i found out this morning that my cell phone # is somehow linked to some random guy a few miles away and idk how to fix it online. got some texts today and yesterday this one guy called me 6 times back to back while i was on the phone with someone else. i guess that’s another pet peeve of mine, pls leave a message if it’s important jaklsdf

#hshqtask005 #really had to go back n look at 20 year old me #who tf was i #how did u tolerate me

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: You about? Janis: Here all week, like Janis: what's up? Jimmy: put the 🎤 down, I've got a different gig for you Jimmy: less funny but still a pisstake Janis: How well does it pay/will I still be the headliner Janis: dealbreakers, boy Jimmy: That's two questions that have nowt to do with each other Jimmy: you don't need the 💰💰 like you need the limelight, rich girl Janis: Oh, just call me an attention whore, that'll seal the deal 🙄 Janis: I'm just filling space where your question ain't yet Jimmy: what should is how 💕😍 I'll be all over socials Jimmy: slag for heroic acts, me Janis: What an offer 😏 Janis: Go on then, how am I saving your life today Jimmy: you're saving my 🐕 Jimmy: if you can Janis: It down a well? Janis: wrong way 'round, that Jimmy: Would I need your help if I knew where it'd pissed off to? Janis: I don't know, give me some details to work with Janis: when did you notice, how'd it get out, etc Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: just come here and help me look Janis: Where are you then Janis: Jesus Jimmy: I know you can't multitask, how do you reckon you're gonna 🙏 and 🏃? Jimmy: [sends her his location which would random af cos stubborn enough to be looking for ages before he asked for her help obvs] Janis: That's my whole life, dickhead Janis: alright, don't know what your dog would be doing there but I'll be there asap Jimmy: write the book on your own time, mate Jimmy: give it a cameo if you find it Janis: Sweet, you gonna draw the pictures? Jimmy: How well's that pay? Janis: Depends how cute you draw the 🐕 Jimmy: [sends her a deliberately crap quick doodle] Jimmy: there you are Janis: Bestseller, like Janis: so much 💰💰 Jimmy: I never said I'd write it for you an' all Janis: yeah well your grasp on the English language ain't all that so Janis: thank fuck Jimmy: you gonna write it in 🍀? Thank feck I won't be able to read a word Jimmy: can only fake so much enthusiasm Janis: Yeah, you aren't great at that either Janis: but let's not focus on your many, many faults Jimmy: Stop flirting with me, I'm busy Janis: Shut up Janis: What can I do but annoy you 'til I get there Jimmy: Have a look at what you just wrote Jimmy: you might do step 1 Janis: Charming Janis: I've been great, tah Jimmy: if it makes you feel better, we can pretend the 🐕 legged it with my 👑 Janis: What actually happened, toad Janis: unlocked gate or not coming back on a walk Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: reckon I might get some convo there? Janis: 👍 for the tip Jimmy: next one'll be 💰 Jimmy: it were there, he threw a strop and chucked it out, now it ain't Janis: Bummer Janis: we'll find it, probably Janis: got a collar or any shit like that? Jimmy: [sends a picture of him holding it like 😒 cos Twix wasn't wearing it, thanks Ian you dick] Janis: 👎 Jimmy: well helpful, you Janis: I'm on my way, dickhead Janis: I can't summon the thing with my mind, soz, I know you think I'm special Jimmy: meant to be #suchanathlete Jimmy: get a move on, dickhead Janis: You know I live in the middle of nowhere Janis: give me 5, at least Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: You thought I'd moved, yeah Janis: no such 🍀 Jimmy: keep 🙏 for that fake ldr Janis: not having to be 👀 with you would be such a bonus Janis: conference call that shit in Jimmy: not having to kiss you would be massively beneficial to me Jimmy: can't afford to lose any more body parts Janis: we'll find your dog and your ear, stop complaining Jimmy: 💕 Janis: personally, I think you look better without it Jimmy: you've got shit taste Janis: That's you, we've covered that Jimmy: you Janis: 🙄 Janis: take the 🥇 Jimmy: you earned it Janis: oh please Janis: you've run the gauntlet of shit taste olympics Jimmy: don't need to beg for owt, just take it, babe Jimmy: it's alright Janis: be quiet and keep looking Jimmy: been looking for ages Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: 😕 Jimmy: actually 💔 Janis: Your brother and sister helping you? Jimmy: That a dealbreaker an' all? Janis: Nah, just wondering Jimmy: if we can't find the 🐕 then I'll tell 'em Janis: No sense in upsetting 'em if you don't need to, yeah Jimmy: my dad don't need another knobhead 🏆 Jimmy: gonna have enough shit to pack up when we leave Janis: Right Janis: not really coming to protect your da though Janis: dogs cute though so Jimmy: I weren't gonna @ him that you 💕 him Jimmy: bit rude to Mr Lucas Janis: let's not pretend you're doing it on mine or his account though Janis: just don't want me to move in Jimmy: not as my step-mum Jimmy: it might be popular on other sites but it ain't likely to be #goals with our demographic Janis: The lads would like it but they're less vocal with their 💕 Jimmy: more about the body language Jimmy: one bit specifically Janis: doesn't translate well with insta likes and comments Janis: less you can get 'em with an accidental doubletap but their gfs are all over that shit Jimmy: got enough hysterical lasses in my DMs, tah Janis: the struggle is so real Janis: poor you, like Jimmy: [sends her a highlight reel cos imagine tbh] Janis: Do you reckon they ever reread what they write or just send Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: I reckon Bill's turning in his ⚰ Janis: romance is dead, mate Janis: 🥀 Jimmy: re-read and don't hit send, my dear Jimmy: we're trying to avoid 💔😭 for now Janis: 'course Janis: I didn't say dog Janis: optimistic, me Jimmy: won't have to chuck in a box if it is though Janis: don't be morbid Janis: only so much I can take after reading those messages Janis: feeling well 💀 Jimmy: You'll live Jimmy: I'm out of 🚬 so there's nowt but fresh air Janis: That's truly the most devastating thing you've ever said to me Janis: I can get some though Jimmy: You heard me say I've been 👀 for ages Janis: Poor stressed boy Jimmy: Don't take the piss Jimmy: I am Jimmy: I've got work in a bit Janis: 'course you are, your dog is missing Janis: I'm not far from you now so once I get the cigs and get there, I'll take over Jimmy: 👍 Janis: been looking on those cringey neighbourhood sites, if some do-gooder had got it or it'd been hit, it'd be on there and it ain't so that's something, yeah Jimmy: Tah Janis: no big Janis: I'm not a monster Jimmy: if I keep waking you this early, fuck knows what you'll end up looking like Janis: Funny Janis: I weren't asleep anyway, you're alright Jimmy: I get it, gotta stay 💪🏆 Janis: Vampires don't sleep, baby Jimmy: do in the day Jimmy: I should be tucking you in, instead of dragging you out Janis: Add it to your list of failings and crack on Jimmy: ✔ Janis: you smoke [brand] right? Jimmy: #whenshenoticestheshityoucareabout Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 😂 Janis: Call it your defining feature Janis: along with the 😎 obvs Jimmy: duh Jimmy: nowt else going for me when this new boy shine wears through Janis: keep 🙏 for the day, like Jimmy: *🤞 Jimmy: me and JC don't know each other like that Janis: You don't know him, but he knows you Janis: not unlike your fans Jimmy: There's only room for one fit and mysterious lad round here so he'll have to do one back to the ☁ Janis: Hate the attention, you, well obvious 😏 Jimmy: I get it whether I want it or not Janis: They do Jesus dirty in the paintings Janis: can't compete with a selfie Jimmy: He knows what to do if he's fuming Janis: can't wait for the second coming when he fucks you right up Jimmy: #cancelled Jimmy: me either, sounds like a right laugh Janis: Miss me when I'm saved and you ain't Janis: how starcrossed ldr me from hell, bitch Jimmy: Suicide's a sin, baby, ain't you heard? Janis: so is most stuff, honestly Janis: but I'm 😇 looking Janis: gonna want me around Jimmy: no dickhead's hotter than 😈 don't you wanna be around him? Janis: 🙄 my type, yeah Jimmy: Do you want an answer for that? Janis: The devil loses in the end, you know Janis: back the winner Jimmy: love an underdog, me Jimmy: I get why you don't, rich girl Jimmy: probably get a 🦄☁ really kick that horse girl fantasy up a notch Janis: Animals don't have souls Janis: Catholic fun 101 Janis: gotta find your dog otherwise it's bad news all 'round Jimmy: 💔🐕⚰🎻☔ Janis: Cheery Janis: know you hate your job but plaster your customer service face on for me Jimmy: you inspired me with your little sermon there, like Janis: you deserved it, like Jimmy: For what? Janis: For implying I'd fuck the devil Jimmy: I never said owt of the sort Jimmy: just asking if you're off lads now 'cause of the one dickhead Janis: I don't think you can say all men are going to hell Janis: thought Asia would be 😍 for that sweeping statement Jimmy: I'll screenshot it for her Janis: 💘 Janis: cute Jimmy: where the fuck are you? Janis: ⛪ Janis: gotta go confess now, thanks a lot Janis: [sends actual location as she's coming up though like calm down] Jimmy: if you could rush it through 🤏 please Jimmy: I dunno, maybe pretend there's a character limit Janis: soz the priest is well invested in hearing all about me fucking the devil Jimmy: can't stop being goals, you Jimmy: come hell or high water Jimmy: tell him to put his 👅 and owt else back in Janis: Lord knows I may as well become a nun according to you Janis: get that good book and that good dick Jimmy: Oi I never said you should, I asked if you were Janis: Not really got the time, have I Jimmy: You've got all night 🧛 girl Jimmy: for a start Janis: When we're not fake out, sure Jimmy: I don't outstay my welcome at parties, that's the other dickhead Janis: This is all irrelevant Janis: and he can turn water into wine, he's never not welcome, boy Jimmy: I didn't mean him Janis: Now you're making it sound like I hooked up with Voldemort Jimmy: I dunno his name or @ do I? Janis: Ha, Harry, actually Jimmy: I never said I wanted to know it, but tah Janis: just trying to avoid Jesus related mixups, don't think he needs the ego boost if I'm honest Jimmy: 👌 Janis: This is you though, yeah Janis: hate to approach the wrong dickhead Janis: [waving like yo] Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: Don't have a bottle of wine in my pocket that were water, soz, just that conditioned to be fake happy to see you Janis: [does 💔 hands 'right, show me where you usually walk her, the route, then you can fuck off whenever you need to'] Jimmy: [walking like a rude hoe not even gonna say hey or anything okay then] Janis: [just shrugging like okay then but purposefully keeping up pace so he can't march ahead] Jimmy: [we strutting in stressed silence] Janis: [on phone, but making a socials post like if you see this dog, 'cos Cass ain't gonna see it on hers so doesn't matter and could help] Jimmy: [nodding at her like thanks when he sees it] Janis: [shrugs again like nbd] Jimmy: [keep going lads that poor baby dog needs you] Janis: [hit all them doggy hotspots like the park etc] Jimmy: [I hope she's found a 🐕 friend or something so she's not all alone and forlorn] Janis: [my boo is #concerned] Jimmy: [I am, she's just a smol baby and they haven't trained her or anything] Janis: [least we aren't being too evil] Jimmy: [I could NEVER] Janis: [asking relevant Twix questions 'cos you care but also to have some convo] Jimmy: [acting like you don't know cos you hate that dog so much #lies] Janis: [lowkey like why am i looking then boy but just via looks not actually gonna say it] Jimmy: [basically being like don't then as if you haven't asked for her help with exactly this] Janis: [walks ahead like I'll keep doing this but we don't need to do this] Jimmy: [keeps up because doesn't wanna be his moody af father] Janis: [looks at him like alright?] Jimmy: [just looking back her because no but god forbid you talk about it ever] Janis: [makes face like yeah, I know and goes in her pocket 'nearly forgot' and hands him the cigarettes] Jimmy: [we know the drill by now, ladies first without even asking which works as a lowkey sorry for being a prick rn too so] Janis: ['cheers'] Jimmy: [the most dramatic exhale of smoke/sigh but not deliberately dramatic just how he's feeling rn cos he's running out of places to look like Twix where you at babe] Janis: [gently nudges his side with her shoulder like it'll be okay but not saying that 'cos can't promise it so, running ahead when you see a dog walker to ask if they've seen any dogs on their own] Jimmy: ? Janis: [jogging back over but not coming fully, like you gotta follow me 'she reckons there was a dog that didn't seem to be with anyone in [a park but not Twix's usual lol]'] Jimmy: [does follow her even though he probably doesn't know where that even is because literally me and could get lost anywhere] Janis: [now gotta search every bush in this park like hellooo] Jimmy: [gotta call her name like that's not lowkey awks for someone so 😎] Jimmy: [also I know this is serious business but 100% needs to push her into a bush like my mum did to me/ jump out from behind one just because] Janis: [we all know you're not cool but yeah, some pet names are really awks if you have to shout them lmao, also yes, even if you jump way more than you normally would 'cos tense situ and then you're 😒] Jimmy: [loling too much because it's one of those days and you gotta but not gonna help her 😒 face you'll have to get your own back gal] Janis: [just handing him some dog luring food she got and jogging off like I'll go this way] Jimmy: [she should get her because start of a beautiful friendship] Janis: [I vibe, I'll see if I have a pic of them were she looks buzzing/smug enough lol] Jimmy: [when you hug the bae because you're so relieved that the kids won't kick off or your dad or your manager cos you won't be late now but also because she stayed and actually helped you and like who does that ever] Janis: [Twix like lemme get in on that 'cos full of love] Jimmy: [shoutout to the mvp she is for stopping that becoming too much of a moment] Janis: [and being awkward or anything like that god bless 'see, all alright, yeah'] Jimmy: [when he's probably holding this dog cos 1. don't run off again and 2. she's hyper af and needs to be licking his face and snuggling him so he's 😒 and a look like is it though but we know you love Twix really] Janis: [lols 'she knows you missed her, like, you can't hide it'] Jimmy: [lowkey throws the dog at her with a piss off kinda look] Janis: [gives Twix some love and a 🙄 at him but not harsh] Jimmy: [does it back because always] Janis: ['no excuse to skive off work now though' face like gutted] Jimmy: ['you could've offered to phone in fake sick for me, bit rude' cos throwforward to when we actually did that haha] Janis: ['if they let their barista boys have time off for every new girl, they'd go out of business' shoutout to your hot colleagues the flat whites sexually harass] Jimmy: [oh pete I love you my darling but meanwhile Jimmy is just shrugging cos wouldn't care if the CG did tbh] Janis: [punching, there should be another word for that 'cos sounds so violent I just mean a friendly tap like, his arm, 'come on, I need the limelight, you need the paycheck'] Jimmy: ['you coming in for a latte then?' we 👀 you shamelessly wanting to spend time with her boy, deliberately saying latte because she would NEVER] Janis: [scoffs in DISGUST honey 'not your real girlfriend, boy, though with the heartbreak she's probably just necking double espressos, right?'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [shakes head 'drumming up business and a bae, so evil, you are' as if you didn't send the message lol] Jimmy: ['You did the evil deed, Judith, square that one with your priest an' all'] Janis: ['or, did I do you all a favour, think on that'] Jimmy: [shakes his head like you've only done me this one favour rn ever] Janis: ['that's alright, no need for a thank you card'] Jimmy: [writes leave it out in the air with a flourish] Janis: [😏 'when's your shift then and what are you gonna do with the dog?'] Jimmy: [does her trick of checking an imaginary watch 'might chuck an apron on her and give her a go with the steam wand' but we know he's really gonna nip home first so Twix can snuggle with the kids cos had an exciting morning and she just a baby] Janis: ['you really gonna give employee of the month away just like that' does loser sign then looks around like hmm, 'cos you in town now, what are you gonna do, ensue awks] Jimmy: ['Reckon I'm safe, it'll be all them espressos if nowt else' just lowkey drags her along with him, bit rude] Janis: [just like umm excuse me but doesn't not come along like] Jimmy: [looks at her and the dog and back like she's not home yet, the job's not done 'won't get fake girlfriend of the month by taking the piss'] Janis: [dramatic gasping like oh no 'I'm the only fake girlfriend you have, babe, 'less it's your ultimate #kinkunlocked'] Jimmy: [dramatic gasp back like he's been busted] Janis: ['it's alright, already knew you were a pervert' accidental LOOK] Jimmy: ['before you agreed or after?' and a LOOK back of course] Janis: ['that'd be telling'] Jimmy: ['So go on'] Janis: [shakes head 'who knew or knows anything about you, mystery boy?'] Jimmy: [winks at Twix as if she knows all his secrets] Janis: ['nerd' but we all know she thinks it's cute] Jimmy: ['Oi, you barely know her' cos he is a nerd] Janis: [gives her more fuss 'the bitch is cool'] Jimmy: ['steady on, she won't fit through the door'] Janis: 'but if we can wedge her in, she won't be able to get back out' taps head like tada 'you just hate when anyone else gets compliments'] Jimmy: ['Busted again, me. You're proper on one this morning, mate'] Janis: ['always am, you're just in a good mood 'cos your bestie is back'] Jimmy: [snorts like if you say so] Janis: ['ignore him, he's a right moody dickhead most the time' @Twix] Jimmy: ['ignore her, right comedian so she reckons, might get the hint one of these days' also @ twix] Janis: ['She knows who saved her, mate, team me all the way'] Jimmy: ['go on and take her home with you, hate to break both your hearts, obvs'] Janis: ['hate to break your little brother's though'] Jimmy: ['my sister would fight you for her any road, a black eye ain't gonna be goals like the bruises I give you'] Janis: [lols 'there we go then, shoulda kept that to yourself if you were tryna get me sparked out'] Jimmy: [gives her a OTT scandalised look like why would I do that 'if it ain't #goals it ain't a goal of mine, Jules'] Janis: [a look like yeah right] Jimmy: ['if you wanna have a scrap, crack on with pulling Asia's hair or something'] Janis: [🙄 'bitch fight ain't my scene, even faking it, soz to the punters who'd love it'] Jimmy: [the heartbroken hand mime again] Janis: ['such a boy' looking at Twix like can you believe him?] Jimmy: [looks down at himself like he's so shook cos biggest nerd] Janis: ['not a compliment, Pinocchio'] Jimmy: ['isn't it?'] Janis: ['I knew you were a boy, you can have that if you're short on love'] Jimmy: ['bit busy @ing my dad about how much of a lad you reckon I am, hang on'] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [lights another 🚬 cos 1. it's been a minute 2. such a lad 3.😎] Janis: #ladsladslads Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: such a flirt, you Janis: just so manly, bears repeating, obvs Jimmy: [nudges her like go on then tell the fans] Jimmy: gonna make me 😳 if you keep on Janis: Let me know if you've got it in you and I'll add it 'fore I hit send, like Jimmy: let me know if you've got it in you, more like Janis: You reckon I can't make you blush? Jimmy: do you reckon you can? Jimmy: that's the question Janis: Obviously I can Jimmy: What are you waiting for, a written invitation? Janis: Shut up Janis: I'm busy over here Jimmy: you're chatting bollocks over there Janis: The world needs to know the 🐶 is alive and well and you're such a #lad if you don't mind Jimmy: convenient timing that Janis: only a performing monkey when there's a crowd, you know that Jimmy: [a look like yeah right] Janis: [kicking his ankles like shh and not looking at him] Janis: you still owe me a good idea anyway Jimmy: I said blush not bleed, babe Janis: know what I prefer Jimmy: #kinkunlocked ages ago 🧛 girl Janis: then be nice and give me what I want Jimmy: [gives her a look like what do you want] Janis: [the 'you know' coming out before you can even think to stop yourself, then shaking your head and pointing at your fangs with a smirk like duh] Jimmy: [sets his phone camera on a timer like this is how long you've got to try and make me 😳 or bleed and gestures her over to a bench like] Janis: [doing a big sigh as if you're all ugh but really it's 'cos you're nervous but shh, once he's sat down, sitting in his lap of course but making a point of seeing if you're in-frame so we've got the pretense for how real you're shamelessly gonna be, looking at him properly 'Jimmy, I missed you'] Jimmy: [saying her name back because the only other time he has was when he was annoyed and that is simply not allowed thank you and hitting her with the 😍 #tooreal] Janis: [shuffling closer to him into his lap somehow when he says your name and smoothing his hair off his face with both hands then letting them come to rest on his shoulders, giving them a little massage 'I mean it' #whenthecameraisrollingandyouvebeenchallenegedsoyoucansaythisisallpretendifyouhaveto #adangerousgame] Jimmy: [so into it and would be even if he hadn't had the most stressful morning ever but because he has and because we can say it's fake SUCH A SOUND 'I know, I can tell' #boywhyhaveyoustartedsomethingyouliterallyhaveworktogotosoon] Janis: ['Can you tell just how bad though?' when moving closer has turned into grinding on him shamelessly] Jimmy: [a nod because speaking is dangerous rn fake or real] Janis: ['what else do you wanna know?'] Jimmy: ['What else do you want me to know?'] Janis: [tilting your head to one side like you're thinking, still rubbing his shoulders 'depends'] Jimmy: [his eyes closing because it feels nice which is not the word tbh 'on what?' because I have to ask] Janis: [little kisses on his eyelids then whispering in his ear 'if you're ready to know it all'] Jimmy: [have to kiss her to keep it vague and save our lives because is that a this is how ready I am or is it I'm kissing you so I don't have to answer] Janis: [either way, a kiss moment honey] Jimmy: [like we know the answer lads but we can't out Jimothy that hard right here right now so gotta keep you guessing babe] Janis: [finally breaking off the kiss, so reluctantly, 'Did you blush?'] Jimmy: [gives her his phone so she can look because shamelessly buying himself some recovery time after that] Janis: [not getting off him, just resting your head on his chest whilst you watch this back like comfy are we] Jimmy: [just playing with her hair like you're trying to fix whatever mess you made of it during that kiss, we see your flimsy excuse boy cos you're not being that soft about it rn] Janis: [making a noise like did you have to or can you legitimately not help it rn] Jimmy: [if he wasn't blushing before he is now thank god she's looking at this phone] Janis: ['that was definitely a blush there' pointing at some point in that recording like see, looking up at him 'you look cute'] Jimmy: ['you're taking the piss' because works for both things she said and he's a boy of few words] Janis: [shakes head like nu-uh] Jimmy: [pokes her like yeah you are] Janis: [boops his nose like no I'm not] Jimmy: [still has his hand on her waist after poking her so tickles her of course] Janis: ['don't drop me' so dramatically] Jimmy: [fakes like he is gonna drop her which makes twix cray] Janis: [just a look like see? she loves me] Jimmy: [such a dramatic sigh like ugh he's so over you both #lies] Janis: ['be nice'] Jimmy: ['or what?'] Janis: [raising a brow 'you're ready to find that out, yeah?'] Jimmy: [raises his own back at her 'why wouldn't I be? The scaredy cat's you'] Janis: [puts a finger to his lips dramatically like shh and nods to Twix 'she'll hear you'] Jimmy: [irl 👍 because good I hope she do] Janis: ['you're so jealous of our love, honestly'] Jimmy: ['bit busy with my own, she's a handful, like' oh Asia god bless] Janis: ['yeah I've heard about her cup size, thanks' 🙄] Jimmy: [lil lol] Janis: [finally getting off him like hmpf on the low] Jimmy: ['you've got nowt to be jealous of' is he being real or fake we'll never know] Janis: ['duh' and getting up up 'better get this dog back or you'll be late'] Jimmy: [literally has never wanted to go to work less in his life but come on lads] Janis: [we just walking along merrily like that didn't happen] Jimmy: [#socasual] Janis: [so casual nbd we're all friends here, is gonna need a 🚬 though but never asking just accosting him like 'scuse me] Jimmy: [do something else with your hands and mouths kids, cos you know he has to have one too even though he's had so many today already] Janis: [oh Twix, you rascally babe] Jimmy: [it's all Ian's fault as per] Janis: [at least something good came of it but not getting the credit for that] Jimmy: ['gonna have to get her chipped' thinking out loud cos you know Ian hasn't sorted that or wants the expense] Janis: [nods 'don't take a second, like'] Jimmy: [a look like that's good cos when do I have a sec but then shrugs cos gonna be so unbothered] Janis: [shrugs back 'might be just as easy to look at your fence sitch for puppy-sized holes'] Jimmy: ['I get it, I'm SUCH a lad, no need to go overboard' 😏] Janis: [shakes head 😏 'alright, get your sister to if you can't deal'] Jimmy: ['volunteering to wake her up and tell her to crack on, are you?' 😏 'Tah, babe, willing to go proper above and beyond, you'] Janis: [noise like psh no thank you lol 'way above my paygrade, ask Asia, I'd happily watch that'] Jimmy: [such a lol] Janis: [actual smile] Jimmy: [control your 😍 boy by nodding at the dog 'reckon you've done enough for a bit' cos genuinely is grateful we know] Janis: [forget about it gesture 'favour for the dog, really'] Jimmy: ['probably would've been kinda to let her find a new bunch of dickheads' when you're joking but you're also actually not] Jimmy: [*kinder] Janis: ['now you tell me' but nudges him like come on, you ain't that bad] Jimmy: [nudges her back 'yeah 'cause I missed you an' all' is he being fake about needing to see her so bad #theanswerisno] Janis: [looks at Twix like ?! 'is this even your dog?' 😏] Jimmy: ['Nah' cos lbr he's too 😎 for a dog like this thanks for that Ian] Janis: ['OMG, you're like soulmates' 🖤 hands] Jimmy: [gives her a look cos she said Twix was her true love and he was jealous before, like make your mind up] Janis: ['that's why you're jealous' points at Twix 'player'] Jimmy: ['you wish, dickhead'] Janis: [a look like obvs, dickhead] Jimmy: [blows a smoke ring at her in a sassy manner like there's your 💍] Janis: [waves it away 'show-off'] Jimmy: ['first place or nowt, baby'] Janis: ['have to show me how to do it sometime, like'] Jimmy: ['I'll edit it to look like you got the knack first time, keep shit goals'] Janis: [😒 'be a better teacher then, wanker'] Jimmy: ['I've already got owt else that Mr Lucas could possibly want, be cruel that'] Janis: ['cept my heart, but shh'] Jimmy: ['far as he knows I have'] Janis: ['he all up on the socials, you reckon?' face like ew] Jimmy: ['first in, last out' and a dramatic shiver like GROSS] Janis: ['least he won't dob us in if he wants more of that sweet, sweet #content' irl equivalent of 🤢] Jimmy: [sighs like our work's never done 'UGH, we'll just have to find another way to get in trouble at school' and a LOOK] Janis: [a LOOK back 'basically my specialty'] Jimmy: ['don't sound like you that' because she's so 😇 obvs] Janis: ['wait and see' 'cos you only did that one project together then school trip] Jimmy: ['Alright' when you're agreeing to still be doing this after the holidays unthinkingly there] Janis: [probably get to his house, assumedly the first time] Jimmy: [go throw Twix in with those snoozy kids and get ready for work quickly sir] Janis: [jus' chillin' like why am I still here lowkey] Jimmy: put the kettle on, rich girl Jimmy: [draws her a doodle of one like she's never seen one because got staff] Janis: 😱 Janis: don't know how you take your tea Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: you better leave Janis: this fake relationship just proved too fake Jimmy: we're over, off you go Janis: would you rather I guess and give you a shit cup Janis: come on Jimmy: might do Jimmy: but if you ain't up for the challenge Janis: You're ridiculous Janis: but fine Jimmy: #mayberidiculouswillbeouralways Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [did I fever dream that they take their tea the same way which was milk and two sugars? because I'm sure we said that in another convo but idk] Janis: [I also remember that and is how she's gonna make it so get ready to FALL IN LOVE BOY] Jimmy: [he's not gonna be able to control the 😍] Janis: would sir like his tea upstairs or down? Jimmy: [appears like the 👻 he is looking like a snack in his barista uniform which realistically she might not have seen before this] Janis: [when he actually looks good so you have to be OTT fake about it] Jimmy: [when you try the tea and you're like!!! so you have to be all like 'Oi' and call her a cheat] Janis: ['how could I, you got it written down somewhere in case you forget?' lols] Jimmy: [do the I'm watching you thing @ her all 😒] Janis: ['you just take your tea the only correct way, doesn't mean we're fated, calm down'] Jimmy: ['keep that to yourself' drinking that excellent tea] Janis: [🤐] Jimmy: [unzips her like but drink your tea] Janis: ['nerd' but does, of course] Jimmy: [holds his finger up like when you have an aha moment and starts looking in her mouth like a dentist in the manner of oh while it's unzipped lemme just] Janis: ['gross!' moving away so faux offended 'what are you doing, weirdo?'] Jimmy: ['lost an earring, gotta check you ain't swallowed it, girl' such a nerd goodbye] Janis: ['vampire, not a thief' look like how dare you] Jimmy: [' still stole my heart though' cos gotta be OTT fake sometimes] Janis: [finger guns at his chest] Jimmy: [gun at his head and death again] Janis: ['hot'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: 'who's on shift today?' like she knows] Jimmy: [shrugs because could not care less] Janis: [tuts but 😏] Jimmy: [gestures like come on let's go find out] Janis: [shrugs like okay 'I've got a few to kill'] Jimmy: [nods to the imaginary watch cos it's unspoken acknowledgement that the flat whites won't be there that early and she can leave before they are] Janis: ['heaven forbid they leave the house before applying 50 layers of foundation, shit is time-consuming'] Jimmy: [so triggered thinking about his northern ex rn like the horrified facial expression would be so genuine] Janis: [nod of approval 'good acting'] Jimmy: [does the polishing his medal he's wearing mime] Janis: [when it's your nametag 'who the fuck is Jamie?'] Jimmy: ['you ain't met him? honestly gutted for you'] Janis: ['will he be on shift today?' skipping like you're so buzzing at the prospect] Jimmy: ['wait and see' cos word theft] Janis: ['ugh, tease'] Jimmy: ['Not trying to turn you on, calm down'] Janis: ['Jamie might be' shrug like don't count me out yet tah] Jimmy: [shrugs back 'he's a starving artist, owt for tips'] Janis: ['fuck you' 😒] Jimmy: ['fuck him, being right dickhead makes him your type'] Janis: ['good' like I intend to, oh honey lol] Jimmy: 'good' boy how you gonna be jealous of someone who doesn't exist] Janis: [when it's literally you lmao] Jimmy: [also he so hasn't posted that bench moment let it be known] Janis: [that's for the best literally no one has asked for that content] Jimmy: [haven't deleted it though have you my dear 👀 you] Janis: [we all know that was shameless so we're not thinking or talking about it ladeeda] Jimmy: [get into work boy, get busy cos we know you're thinking about fuck all else] Janis: [chilling not at all casually at a table] Jimmy: [make her that first ever 💣 smoothie please and thank] Janis: that your specialty? Jimmy: what? Janis: smoothies and juices and shit Jimmy: @CG_FAQ or whatever it is Janis: I get it, you're very busy Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: [serves some business person trying to get a coffee but is looking at her like 🙄😏] Janis: [💔 hands and shamelessly having a nose at his co-workers] Jimmy: [Pete is 100% there, hey babe] Jimmy: So? Go on then Janis: ? Jimmy: Do you like it? Janis: I didn't ask if it were your specialty to take the piss, like Janis: s'good Jimmy: I'll @ my manager Janis: I can do it for you Janis: seems appropraitely fake girlfriend of me Jimmy: I get it, it would be goals to get sacked for having a scrap with him when he's 😍 for you Jimmy: 🥇 plan Janis: I'm not getting you sacked Janis: how many IOUs would that warrant, like, no thanks Jimmy: you're meant to want to spend every second of every day with me, play the game, Janet Jimmy: what kind of fake girlfriend Janis: fine Janis: just 🤞 he's the hot one Janis: [going to chat to Pete] Jimmy: he ain't here, wouldn't have to @ him if he were Jimmy: the accent ain't that hard to understand Janis: oh well, now he'll pass that along for you Jimmy: Tah Janis: [sits back down like you're welcome] Jimmy: you hungry? Janis: I could eat Jimmy: [gets her whatever sucks the least] Janis: Tah Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Steady on, nowt on the menu's 👍 Janis: that was for you Janis: if I go up to the tip jar now I'll just look keen Jimmy: 💕 Janis: is that for me? Jimmy: Do you see any of my other girlfriends about? Janis: [does fake check] Janis: thankfully not Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: so special Jimmy: you're alright Janis: 😂 Jimmy: I mean it Janis: Alright then Janis: you too Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I don't want your tacked on you an' all Janis: well I mean it too Janis: I can't say it 'cos you got in there first, psh Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: dry your eyes and eat your food, mate Janis: alright, dad Janis: focus on one job at a time Jimmy: edit that nickname a bit and you're good to # Janis: we're not fake there yet Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Sorry Janis: know you're the right age but that's about it Jimmy: RUDE Janis: Shh Jimmy: I will not Jimmy: and there's nowt you can do about it Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't you hate a chatty barista Jimmy: I ain't serving you Jimmy: already have done Janis: yeah, some daddy 😏 Jimmy: funny Janis: you've got my best work for the day Janis: 'til I workout anyway Jimmy: lucky me Janis: don't be rude Janis: saved your life Jimmy: you started it Janis: If you want me to call you that, put it in a contract and get me to sign Janis: that's not rude Jimmy: twist your own arm and 🖋🩸 your own oath, bit busy here Janis: Very impressed Jimmy: admitting how easily you are ain't very 🥇 Jimmy: you might wanna 🤐 Janis: Not got time for sarcasm either? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: When have I ever had time for your pisstaking? Janis: awh 😭 Jimmy: enjoy the 🎻🎻 I left you both your 👂s Janis: well aren't you generous Janis: tell everyone how not hard you go with it Jimmy: that rich v poor divide just keeps rearing it's head #awks Jimmy: and you're in the wrong 🗨 if you reckon every word's getting screenshotted Jimmy: @💀👑 not 😎🚬 Janis: oh, you mean my true love, yeah Jimmy: if the hair extensions fit Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'm gonna go see where they're @ Janis: brb Janis: [out tha door] Jimmy: in a bit Jimmy: [but watching her go like a forlorn 🐕] Janis: [going to the gym obvs 'cos got to go work this out can't sit in the tension this long without needing a moment] Jimmy: [do some work bitch but not actually because I like to imagine him drawing Twix on a wanted poster but doing an ^ un next to the wanted to sass her and posting that at some point #arthoe] Janis: [puppydog eyes selfie you do not need to send re. that poster] Jimmy: You pull a muscle? Jimmy: Hang on, I'll be right there to carry you out Janis: Defending my lady from your savage and swift pen, thank you very much Jimmy: go on Janis: Come here and I'll 🥊 ya Janis: only got the 🥺'til then, and it's harder to make you 😳 from afar too Janis: besides, wouldn't wanna make your customers even more inappropriate with you, even you don't deserve that, like Jimmy: if the subject of my 🎨 was such a dealbreaker you should've stuck around to be inspiring Jimmy: but alright, the selfie's a start Janis: A start, yeah? Jimmy: you heard Janis: Aside from my blood, what else do you want/require? Jimmy: is that a trick question? Janis: No Janis: wanna be as 🥇 a muse as a fake girlfriend Jimmy: if you were 🥇 you wouldn't need me to tell you owt Janis: 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: and you're meant to teach me how to blow smoke rings too Jimmy: I'm due a break, gimme a shout when you're done 💪 Janis: don't you wanna take a break break Janis: my current muse abilities will get me through the day alright Jimmy: and you admitting what hard work you are will get me through this shift alright Janis: that'll be why you want me to come back Jimmy: take both my jobs seriously, me Janis: hard work, I remember Janis: another #kinkunlocked Janis: I can give you that punishment, if you really want Jimmy: hot Janis: of course Janis: not a total amateur Jimmy: fooled me Janis: piss off Jimmy: [a little doodle he's drawn of her based on that selfie she sent but a deliberately quick one so we don't get into the #feels of drawing her properly yet] Janis: 🎨🖌 Jimmy: you looked cute Jimmy: [cos gotta steal her words from earlier] Janis: dead convincing, babe 😏 Janis: am I still coming or have you powered through with that picture? Jimmy: Do you still wanna come or are you too 😍💕 to be around me now you've 👀 that masterpiece? Janis: Obviously I need a moment Jimmy: duh Janis: not just to shower or anything, like Janis: full swooning time Jimmy: I get it, making lasses go weak at the knees is my full time occupation Jimmy: ☕ just a prop Janis: Do you pay tax on that? Jimmy: Who sounds like a dad now? Janis: 💰💰 is all I care about, of course Jimmy: with the wrong lad then Janis: take the bragging right of being just that good then, eh Jimmy: you trying to make me 😳 from afar? Jimmy: never stop, you Janis: that a request or a comment? Jimmy: What do you reckon? Janis: Maybe I'll pretend it's the option I prefer regardless Jimmy: can do Janis: tah for the permission Jimmy: well generous, me Jimmy: you said it Janis: I mostly meant it and all 😘 Jimmy: never said owt you don't, obvs 😘 Janis: especially not to you, baby Jimmy: stop making me miss you if you ain't showing up Janis: Stop distracting me and I'll be with you sooner Jimmy: you started it Janis: I purposely left so I didn't Janis: 😇 Jimmy: you did it before you left Janis: when? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I wanna know what distracted you Jimmy: you do Janis: Okay Janis: I wish you would tell me Jimmy: I don't have the words Jimmy: Bill's 👻 ain't here Janis: What's his order? Janis: tell me that Jimmy: Macchiato Jimmy: he's a slag for espresso but he 💕 foam 🎨 Janis: 😂 Janis: good answer, you really know all your customers Jimmy: that employee of the month 🏆 as good as has Jamie on it Janis: wait Janis: 😑 ugh Jimmy: ? Janis: Jamie isn't real Jimmy: What? Jimmy: 'course he is Jimmy: 👀 right at him Janis: 💔 Janis: why would you hurt me like this Janis: I was so excited to 👀 him Jimmy: He's got all the words for how distracting you are Jimmy: I probably shouldn't let you see him Janis: Please Jimmy: I dunno, he's a bit keen Janis: how keen? Jimmy: Bill'd be about it Janis: intriguing Jimmy: he is that Janis: How can I meet him? Jimmy: Haven't you got a plan? Jimmy: must not be that keen yourself Janis: I've only got to prove to Jamie how keen I am Jimmy: 🤞 he's easier to impress than me Janis: as easy as you are to make blush, I'll be 🤤 Jimmy: unless it's as easy as you are to make 😳 you'll be 💔 Janis: Do you want me to be 💔? Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: Won't it be awkward for you? Janis: me and Jamie Jimmy: You doing this to try and make shit awkward for me? Bill will be gutted he missed the #drama Janis: That's not what I'm trying to do Jimmy: We've covered that I don't care what you do, Jules Janis: That's alright then Janis: I'll crack on Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what? Janis: you've made me so 😭 Jimmy: Baby Janis: make it up to me? Jimmy: how? Janis: hmm Jimmy: Oi, don't leave me in suspense Janis: I mean, what's a fair trade for making Jamie so hot and so fake really Janis: you owe me more than a cigarette Jimmy: nowt ain't fair trade here, what do you want? Janis: 😏 Janis: nerd Jimmy: hate to disappoint Janis: Baby, you could never Jimmy: if you're 😭 I've let myself down though Janis: depends Janis: that lot are so permanently 😭 they must consider it goals Jimmy: Nah, you just can't put nowt they do in the #goals category Janis: you know how to make me 😊 Jimmy: you look so goals when you are, I have to Jimmy: it's a 🥇😊 Janis: 😳 easy, yeah Jimmy: take the 🏆 Janis: alright Jimmy: is it? Janis: why wouldn't it be? Jimmy: It's not usually that easy Janis: you've told me three times now, hard work Jimmy: I know, it were me who said it Janis: yeah Janis: a lot gets said Jimmy: loads of # an' all Janis: it's like reading between the lines Jimmy: @ Bill's 👻 Janis: okay, convo 💀 got it Jimmy: come on Janis: Bill's is a macchiato, so I've heard Jimmy: He'll take a cold brew if it's ☀ Janis: Make me hate him more, honestly Jimmy: he's just trying to stay #relevant Janis: oh Bill 💔 Janis: ain't we all? Jimmy: would love to be irrelevant, me Jimmy: it's a hard life being this fit and mysterious 🎻💔 Janis: preaching to the preacher Janis: what a cross to bear Jimmy: don't rub it in that he's only got 😍 for you, girl Jimmy: 💔👴 Jimmy: I'm so 😭😭 and 😠😠 Janis: Oh baby boy Janis: I don't think a sexy old man costume is gonna be convincing enough Janis: gotta let you spread your wings Jimmy: too right it won't Janis: Well, I'm so SORRY I'm not enough for you! Jimmy: you should be Janis: you are so rude OMG Jimmy: you're so young and fit, it's well out of order Jimmy: what am I meant to do with that? Jimmy: gimme something to work with here, for fuck's sake Janis: God, when I signed up for a pervy older boyfriend, this is NOT how I imagined it Janis: fetishize my innocence ffs! Janis: like, you aren't even gonna try and use my inexperience to your advantage, WTF?! Jimmy: I dunno what to tell you, Joanne, dad's are a disappointment Jimmy: fucked if that weren't the type of daddy you were hoping for Janis: 😂 Janis: my own ain't such goals I'm tryna get another just like him, nah Jimmy: and I ain't got the 💰💰💰 so that's pissed on that angle Janis: guess it don't make no sense to keep you about Jimmy: on you go Jimmy: keep walking Janis: it's not been real Jimmy: it were real, baby and we were 🥇 Janis: 💕 Janis: very 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Jimmy: nowt to live for now Janis: nowt to die for either Janis: but if you're ready to take that break now, Mr Brightside Janis: [showing up outside like hello] Jimmy: [appears as fast as he can considering he's meant to be working hard] Janis: ['alright?'] Jimmy: ['you?' because can never answer anything ugh] Janis: [nods but the slightly awkward vibe again 'cos becoming less clear what's fake, what's pisstake and what's real every day yo] Jimmy: [ain't that the tea, lights them both a 🚬 cos of course he does] Janis: [takes it, grateful for the distraction as per, after a while, getting more comfortable in front of him again 'you are a dickhead though'] Jimmy: [gives her such an offended look like excuse you 'yeah but what've I done now?'] Janis: [taps his name badge like hi, Jamie but smirks and shrugs 'don't actually owe me anything for it though, guess I see the potential funny side of it when you're surrounded by dull basic bitches all day every day, like'] Jimmy: [takes off the badge and chucks it dramatically even though he'll have to pick that up before he goes back in but the gesture stands like ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?] Janis: [lols 'yes, that is exactly what I wanted, you nutter'] Jimmy: ['Good'] Janis: [just doing the thing where you're trying not to look so you just keep doing lots of little looks] Jimmy: ['What we doing in a bit?' because you're already thinking about her leaving after this and you don't want to not see her later] Janis: [shrugs again 'until our peers actually wake up and plan parties, the diary's free' 'cos most teens are so lazy compared to these two so who knows yet, oh I was thinking though we should do a rave and/or a festival moment with them in this hol both would work well as prolonged fake dating but also the scenes are busy enough they wouldn't have to be ON the whole time but we know they would 'cos shameless] Jimmy: [yaaaaaaaaaaaaas I love that, we could totally do both like a rave in a warehouse moment that's just a night but then a festival that's a couple of days maybe because he'd be so ! about leaving the kids behind then but not something he can take them to] Jimmy: ['we could do' cos imagine them trying to plan a party please] Janis: [I agree, I think they're both valid plans, 'cos everyone could be at both, so we can have whatever we wanna/need to happen happen] Janis: [raises her brows like whaaaa but then tilts her head like she's thinking about it 'well we are basically prom king and queen of the moment so'] Jimmy: ['I get that you might be worried 'cause of being a massively shit host but you'll have me' 😏] Janis: [tuts at him loudly 'like I actually want any of the cunts 'round here to ever have a good time' a look like do you know who you're talking to rn but then 😏 'would be worth it to beat them at their own game though, obviously'] Jimmy: ['we need somewhere we can properly trash, so we can have a good time if nowt else' because not doing it at his gaff cos of the kids as much as I'd love to annoy Ian and we want somewhere aesthetic because art hoe] Janis: [taps her head like good idea and now I'm thinking on it] Jimmy: ['I hadn't forgot I owed you one, babe, but you've still gotta help a new boy out on the actual where, soz' scrunches his face up like ugh I know, I'm the WORST] Janis: [squishing his squishy face always 'don't reckon even MY bathroom is big enough to host a decent party, sadly' #bathgateforever] Jimmy: [grins because that's given him an idea 'Alright but how badly do you want your REAL boyfriend's and biggest fan's attention? 'cause there's one place I've yet to get lost on my way to'] Janis: [the IRL equivalent of ? but excited with it like tell me bitch] Jimmy: ['how about we do it at school, my dear'] Janis: ['okay, that's a really fucking good idea' the biggest 😈 grin] Jimmy: [when you're buzzing because you thought she'd say no because of all the possible trouble you could get in, which we know is why you're doing it Jimothy the mood being fuck you Ian 5eva] Janis: [little do you know how ready she is to burn it all to the ground at any point lmao 'I'd kiss you if that weren't a punishment'] Jimmy: [irl 😘 'you know how Bill feels about lasses who doth protest'] Janis: [when we all know you meant it the other way 'round and the temptation to say as much is REAL but trumped by the desire to see this plan through/keep being 'friends' so you just smirk and hit him with a 'yeah, yeah' and move on with details 'I reckon most people will be dead up for it, long as they can run and deny all knowledge of the who and the how when shit hits the fan, like'] Jimmy: ['tonight then?' because the EGO of this boy who thinks he can pull this together and off in a few hours] Janis: ['why not' flicking the remains of her cigarette away with a flourish 'use how fast news travels 'round here to our advantage, as per' shrugs 'standard, really'] Jimmy: ['the dress code's black, that's the hill I'll die on' flips down imaginary 😎] Janis: ['fine by me' runs tongue across imaginary fangs like duh 'they can always fall back on their school uniform if they get stuck, bit cliche for my taste but they are so' a what can you do? shrug] Jimmy: ['pjs for you, girl, better hit the shops now if you're down to the emergency pink pair, like' shrugs back but 😏 as he looks at his actual real watch] Janis: [rolls her eyes at the suggestion and the implication she wears pink PJs, pushes him gently towards the door 'get back to work so we can get to work sooner, I'll catch you later'] Jimmy: [just looking at her because he does not want to gdi but then has to add an OTT pout because too real] Janis: [likewise so obviously has to be as OTT back 'parting is such sweet sorrow, yeah babe?'] Jimmy: [when you just hug her again like you did earlier before you can stop yourself like okay this is a thing we're doing with each other now bye] Janis: [just leaning into that like you're such a hugger usually sure] Jimmy: [we're just friends who casually hug yep] Janis: [so casual] Jimmy: [go back in and try not be distracted by your feelings and your big plans boy] Janis: are we taking credit or are we putting this out anon? Jimmy: Don't you want the 🏆? Janis: you just want a reunion with your 👮 pals, obvs Janis: I don't care, it'll out either way so may as well own it, I guess, if you're alright with that too Jimmy: You said you wanted to beat these dickheads at their own game, bit hard to do if they don't know we're playing Janis: can't cough without 10 people commenting on it 'round here anyway Janis: and who else would actually have such a 🔥💡 either Jimmy: There you go then Janis: 👍 Janis: no need to post yet, do it closer to the time it causes more hype/no time for it to get shut down Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: You done this before? Janis: Party planning or breaking into the school? Jimmy: I already know you break into the school regularly for secret trysts with your 💕 Janis: no need when he's got the key 😍😍🤤 Jimmy: There's every need when he's 😍😍🤤 for danger Jimmy: unless his ultimate #kinkunlocked is your innocence Janis: Can only assume he 👂 to all those virgin rumours Jimmy: until I came about and he discovered he's all about that cuckold life Janis: all 👀 now Janis: from inside the wardrobe or whatever the fuck 😬😂 Jimmy: be loads of places he can 👀 tonight Janis: True Janis: loads of places to hide too, at least Jimmy: 👻 Jimmy: such an athlete, nowt you can do but run Janis: Not scared of you, like Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: first thing I learned about you is how 🙀 you are Janis: Well, no need to insult your intelligence rn Jimmy: #notthickjustnorthern Janis: 'course, hun 😘 Jimmy: ILY babes 💕 Jimmy: tah for keeping it so real with me there Janis: you know me, keep it 💯👌🙏 Jimmy: fave thing about you, that Janis: Awh Janis: so cute! 💖 Jimmy: you know me, never off Janis: OMG, that's like, totally in my top 3 favourite things about you Janis: so crazy Jimmy: 🤖 kink unlocked 🎟 please Janis: erm have you know none of my friends require batteries THANKS Jimmy: 'cause none of 'em are fwb obvs Janis: do you reckon this party is the time or place to announce that downgrade in relationship Janis: get it together 👏 Jimmy: Depends Janis: If you've got a 📢 to hand? Jimmy: well I were gonna say on Mr Lucas but now I'm fuming that you're doubting the size of my gob Jimmy: Asia would never Jimmy: she knows 📏 matters Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll make sure to spread that 'round then, if that's the new rep you want Jimmy: if you ain't got enough to do, I'll @ my manager about some shifts we've got going Jimmy: put a decent enough word in for you, mate Janis: I'll go in for the cliche getting the hot one to train me but then I'm getting sacked before any of the skeleton gang comes through Jimmy: I would but I'm forced to spend enough time with you as is Janis: 🙄 you and your big head can get out the way, tah Jimmy: it's proper sweet of you to fake failing eyesight for me but you still ain't 👵💕 soz Janis: I knew you'd end up going fully dellusional Janis: gonna take ages to deprogram you 🤖 Jimmy: just hit the kill switch Janis: don't 👻 or @ me 'til I've finished my trial shift, thank you Janis: RIP 🌹 Jimmy: Ugh Jimmy: so hard to please, you Jimmy: 🥀💔 Janis: just tryna save your lil ghostie 👀 and 🖤 Janis: 'less you're really the one who's into waiting in the cupboard 🤔 Jimmy: Piss off Janis: Will do Janis: got shit to get, PJs to cop Jimmy: RIP to my concentration Jimmy: such a distracting mental image, that Janis: was your request Janis: so entirely your fault Jimmy: you doing what you're told now? 🤤🤤😍 Janis: Depends Jimmy: ? Janis: just how pink the selection is Jimmy: duh, I should've worked that one out Janis: also if I can find any without the sassy slogans slapped all over Jimmy: #whenyou'retoobittertobejuicy Janis: 😱 Janis: how Janis: DARE Janis: you Jimmy: 😏 Janis: no matching set for you now Jimmy: 💔😭 Jimmy: Baby please Janis: You'll have to dress yourself now Janis: as a straight lad, we all know you're incapable Jimmy: come on, be nice to me Janis: Why? Janis: you're so mean to me Jimmy: 😱😱😱😱 Jimmy: never Janis: and now you're gonna gaslight me Janis: so typical 👌 Jimmy: Truce? Janis: Hmm Janis: calling that suspiciously fast Jimmy: No kid wants to have a party where their mum and dad are scrapping in the back Janis: Alright Janis: though I did not agree to raise any child with you Jimmy: I'll chuck the bag of flour before I get there then Jimmy: ain't named it or owt Janis: awh it looks like you Janis: so sweet 😂 Jimmy: might have to call him Jamie Janis: insensitive tbh Jimmy: don't sound like me at all Jimmy: is this gonna be the shortest truce EVER or what? Janis: if you're happy for me to be wistfully thinking about Jamie all the time Janis: then crack on, no arguments here Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Oh Jamie Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: wish the school had a balcony Janis: fuck knows where I'm lamenting from Jimmy: get on the roof, girl Janis: 💀 pact request or? Janis: either way 👍 Jimmy: You still taking on board my requests or? Jimmy: #didwepeakwithpjs? Janis: wishing you used your wishes more wisely now? Jimmy: Is that a trick question? Jimmy: there's nowt wiser Jimmy: get you some slippers and we're near to 💕👵 Janis: 🖕 Dickhead Janis: the idea is to make everyone else 😩 not you Jimmy: we do Jimmy: nowt I can do about your face Jimmy: or your body Janis: devastating news Jimmy: I've had my 😭 about it Jimmy: old news Janis: let me mourn, god Jimmy: crack on Janis: [later] Janis: you out yet Jimmy: What do you need a hand to carry now? Janis: rude Janis: I'm bored Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: where are you? Janis: [a random location in town] Janis: been reminded why I hate shopping Jimmy: you don't wanna take #goals selfies with me then? Jimmy: 💔 Janis: obviously Janis: gotta get something out of it Jimmy: meet me at [somewhere they can be goals af] Jimmy: 🤞 I don't get lost Janis: Come on Janis: you must know your way a bit by now Janis: not that far Jimmy: yeah go there all the time, me Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: I'll start walking Janis: don't wanna make another poster Jimmy: but you LOVED the first one I done Janis: you're very talented Jimmy: 🙄🖕 Janis: Take a compliment, boy Jimmy: Give one that ain't a pisstake, girl Janis: Ugh Janis: that might be a challenge too far Jimmy: then like I said 🙄🖕 Jimmy: and you shut up, trying to get my bearings here Janis: you're adorable when you're lost Janis: that's sincere Jimmy: Where the fuck? Jimmy: this town is some bollocks Jimmy: can't find nowt Janis: See, precious Janis: did you live in a town before or like down a mine or whatever the fuck Jimmy: canary in a little cage, me Jimmy: just a lad and his 🎻 Jimmy: just the one 🥧 crust to ration out Janis: 💔 Janis: we get it, you can act alright 😏 Janis: the sob story ain't gonna save you now Jimmy: Are you gonna? Janis: don't I always? Jimmy: 💪🏆 you Janis: Tweet it so I know it's real Jimmy: [cue dramatic and 💕 tweet about how she's his saviour etc] Janis: coming for your 🥇 pisstaker 👑 with that one Janis: fairplay Jimmy: well I actually need you, bit real that Jimmy: if I said it I'd have to 💀💀💀 or worse, delete Janis: 🤐 Janis: I'll never tell, don't worry Jimmy: using you like a sat nav ain't very #goals Jimmy: reckon the secret's safe Janis: you mean your lack of direction isn't Janis: how unmanly of you Jimmy: it's a crap shag rumour waiting to happen Jimmy: Asia would dump me and my life would be OVER Janis: Nah, blind loyalty is their only redeeming quality Janis: 💀👑 ain't even tried to fuck them and they still stick around Jimmy: In fairness she'd probably ⚰ if she did have a go Janis: says you Jimmy: what are you saying? Janis: your stamina ain't braggable with those lungs Jimmy: HOW DARE YOU Janis: whoops Janis: 🙊 Jimmy: could run rings around you, smoke and actual Janis: there's fake and then there's madness Jimmy: there's 🙀 and then there's you Jimmy: sort it out Janis: Who's scared? Janis: Literally any time you wanna have an asthma attack, babe Janis: I'm ready Jimmy: yeah right Jimmy: all chat, you Jimmy: ain't even found me Janis: Bullshit Jimmy: ❌ marks the northern lad Jimmy: get a move on Janis: shut up then Jimmy: If you need a hand that desperately I'll send you 🚬☁ signals Janis: [showing up like hilarious] Jimmy: [fakes like he's gonna jump into her arms like a damsel in distress but obvs does not] Janis: [puts her arms straight down at her side like won't catch you boy] Jimmy: [does a pouty face and puts his hand out like hold it or I'll get lost again] Janis: [🙄 but does it, obvs] Jimmy: [deliberately goes the wrong way because nerd] Janis: [swinging him 'round like nope] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['can you drive?'] Jimmy: ['Are we stealing a car before or after the break in?' because he can but he can't answer a q] Janis: [shrugs 'I can take the speakers from home without it being suspicious but if I ask to drop 'em off at the school, like' gestures like you see my point 'someone will pick us up for a crate, no big'] Jimmy: ['I could take my dad's car but I dunno if they'll fit' shrugs 'be gutted he didn't get that very important memo about how much size matters'] Janis: ['yeah?' bites lip whilst thinking, tapping foot up and down 'should fit, just put the backseats down'] Jimmy: [when she looks so good biting her lip that you nearly lose yourself in the music AND the moment 'Alright' because he knows he's gonna get in trouble for this anyway and that's the whole point, in for a penny in for a pound] Janis: ['first stop yours then? whilst he's still at work' when you're looking like are you sure but you aren't going to ask] Jimmy: [typical that he lives right by the school and she lives 42 years away lol 'owt else we need from here?' gestures around vaguely with a 😒 face like ugh shops and people gross] Janis: ['better get that crate still, party'll supply itself but I still want some shit for us'] Jimmy: [nods and gives her a look like better get several cos can't resist calling her a pisshead] Janis: [pushes him lightly 'oh, and how many packs do you need to get through, Mr. Buzzkill?'] Jimmy: [a dramatic idk there's no way to know gesture 'such a lad, me, with SUCH good stamina] Janis: [😏 'come on then' and dragging him towards the shop like let's hurry it up] Jimmy: ['get ready for your close up and we can do the photo shoot in the car'] Janis: ['born ready- with this face, and this body' 'cos we ain't forgotten] Jimmy: [trying not to 😳 so hard rn] Janis: [knows and is buzzing about that payback] Jimmy: [lowkey nearly pushing her into some women having a chat in the way of everyone cos that playful shove] Janis: [unrepentantly not soz at those women but 😒 at him] Jimmy: [😏 to hide that he is soz cos didn't mean to do it that hard] Janis: [shoving all the booze at him like go get this but giving him the cash too 'cos not that mad] Jimmy: [does because whipped] Janis: I'm off out 'fore I get lynched Janis: you can find your way back from the tills without me, yeah Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: Adorable Jimmy: Shh Janis: Stop being so damn cute Janis: never getting served with that baby face Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Jimmy: You're too young and I'm too 😎 Janis: Spoilsport Jimmy: few drinks in me and you'll be 🍑📞 Jimmy: hang on in there, baby Janis: yeah Janis: gonna look top in my pjs Janis: who could resist Jimmy: have to be a 💪🏆 lad than me and there ain't none about Janis: Tah for being so real about my chances, like Jimmy: what are mates for? Janis: gonna hold my hair back too? Jimmy: yeah Janis: looking for a promotion to bezzies forever Jimmy: it's just always in my fucking way Janis: ? Jimmy: your hair Janis: oh Janis: fair Janis: if you didn't always go for the neck, would be less of an issue Jimmy: Alright, I can take a hint Jimmy: tonight I'll kiss you somewhere else Janis: [not answering 'cos 😳] Jimmy: [when you think she's not answering because she's like GOD NO levels of horrified] Janis: [ah miscommunication, least she is literally outside so we don't need to angst] Jimmy: [coming out cos job done, take a sec to impress her with how strong you are carrying all that shit] Janis: [lil clap and feeling his biceps like Prue] Jimmy: [🙄 but loves it] Janis: ['back to yours now?'] Jimmy: ['I get it, you proper miss her' shout out to Twix] Janis: [nods like 'course 'and we need to get changed to meet your self-imposed dresscode; good as you look'] Jimmy: [looks down and shrugs cos it's probably black tbh but we know you ain't going like that boy] Janis: ['and you have a car to steal' like need I remind you of the plan] Jimmy: ['ain't really stealing if you just grab the keys of the hook, but alright' keeping this so casual] Janis: ['trust you to wanna make it legal and boring' 👮 ref 'still not got insurance or a license, even if you are 45'] Jimmy: [a look like OI so offended 'loads of ways we can make the drive less boring, if you wanna get involved, Jill' stop making it so sexual thank you we all know that's what you mean] Janis: ['Obviously' a LOOK for good measure 'cos we all know what you mean 'not gonna make you do it alone, not very friendly' taking some of the supplies like see] Jimmy: [such a LOOK back] Janis: [don't drop your shopping lads] Jimmy: [that'd be awks, at least they don't have that far to go for this leg of the journey cos he doesn't live in the middle of nowhere] Janis: [shoutout ian for that one thing and one thing only] Jimmy: [when you gesture for her to light you a 🚬 for this one time only because your hands are full af] Janis: [thrilled about the novelty of that tbh] Jimmy: [don't think about how she'd have to get it out of his pocket and put it in his mouth and all that jazz #accidentalhotness] Janis: [its a mood and a moment and we're just trying to get home without dying here, also gonna have one herself 'cos duh] Jimmy: [so much eye contact goodbye] Janis: ['you're fully aware how much shit we're gonna get in, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a dramatic OTT gasp like it only just occurred to him just then] Janis: [nudges him like but really though] Jimmy: [looks down at all the shit he's carrying 'bit late for you to back out, but if you're gonna, go on, we can still half this'] Janis: [shakes her head 'nah, I know, I'm making sure you do, so we're good then'] Jimmy: ['not thick, just northern'] Janis: ['alright, hail of bullets it is then, babe'] Jimmy: ['that's the hottest thing you've ever said to me' cos have to lighten the mood when you know it'll be BAD when Ian finds out about any of this and like you want that but you also don't] Janis: [😏 'yeah, yeah'] Jimmy: [strutting along but in non-awkward silence for a bit] Janis: [living laughing loving like you're not about to get in so much trouble lolollol] Jimmy: [do we wanna skip to his gaff so no other moments happen along the way lol?] Janis: [probably, let's not get carried away yet when there's a whole night ahead] Jimmy: [you're still sober rn lads give it time] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [when he'd have to check in with Cass and Bobby before he can even do anything else remotely, making them cups of tea and food and all kinds of bollocks, you better have walked that dog while he was at work kids we don't have time] Janis: [forever awkwardly there like hello] Jimmy: [like excuse him while he has a little argument with his sister cos she's had bobby all day and he's only just got back and he's basically gonna go straight back out] Janis: [soz girl, just going outside so they can do this in private like you're gonna smoke but you definitely ain't] Jimmy: [he's right back to being stressed because what a day we're having Jimothy, trying to do everything you gotta do with a clingy little bro in your face rn] Janis: [the joys of being an unwilling parent to your siblings truly] Jimmy: [I like to imagine he's forced them on the trampoline like let's all calm down] Janis: need me to do anything? Jimmy: 💀💀💀 us Janis: us in the singular or us as in me and you or us as in you want me to family anihilate Janis: the important questions save from awkward misunderstandings later Jimmy: right now I ain't that fussy, babe Jimmy: suit yourself Janis: Generous to a fault Janis: it's impressive Janis: I'll put the drink in the car Jimmy: 💕 Janis: set up the hose and all Janis: whenever you're ready, babe Jimmy: I read that you meant for a 🚿 Jimmy: about to bring up that rich v poor divide again there Janis: as much as the neighbours would be 👀 behind their curtains Jimmy: 👵💕👴 Jimmy: proper cheered me and Doris an' all, tah Jules Janis: any time Jimmy: you can use our actual 🚿 if you need though Jimmy: sight of you would 💀💀💀 her off Janis: Cheers Janis: couldn't hurt, even if there's no decent lads to pull 💔 Jimmy: that screenshot is being @ed to Mr Lucas Jimmy: such a heartbreaker you Janis: s'alright, just tell him he's a man not a lad Janis: answer for everything me 😇 Jimmy: get out of my bathroom actually I've gotta 🤢🤢 Janis: so jealous, so immature Janis: 😂 Jimmy: 🖕 Jimmy: how mature's that? 😘 Janis: SO impressive Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: you know it Janis: of course Janis: I am getting in now though so if you're actually gonna come in, bring your 📷 or don't, like Jimmy: that ain't fair, I already know what an exhibitionist you are, gimme a new kink to unlock Janis: I'm not making it any easier for you Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: not even 🥉 behaviour, that Janis: sort it out Jimmy: Alright, dickhead, appreciate the shot's fired but I still ain't 💀💀💀 Janis: Shame Janis: and no 🎟 for that one either, I know Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: there's your 🚿🎵 Janis: Tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [after a suitable shower time] Janis: your turn Jimmy: 🏃 Janis: [awkward meetcute on the landing] Jimmy: [love that] Janis: [also she'll either be in a towel or in what she's wearing so either way we can assume 😍] Jimmy: [we all know what you'll be doing in that shower boy] Janis: [oohlala] Jimmy: [at least Ian ain't there to lament his water bill] Janis: [gonna have bigger problems soon soz not soz dickhead] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [meanwhile not lowkey knowing where to put yourself rn, 'cos you don't wanna get up in the kids grill but also feels presumptuous just being in his room but ultimately where you're gonna be 'cos can style that out better] Jimmy: [bowl in with your towel on to make this more awkward] Janis: [just like um ah sorry run lmao] Jimmy: [put your clothes on and go find her sir] Janis: [just chilling by the car probably] Jimmy: [open the door for her thank you] Janis: [tipping your imaginary hat] Jimmy: [illegal driving time, don't die please] Janis: [to her house, which whilst so much faster in a car, still forever lol] Jimmy: [put your easter rising playlist on kids] Janis: [soundtrack to your love tbh] Jimmy: [and don't forget to stop somewhere in the middle of nowhere for your photoshoot moment] Janis: [so important, vital, some would say, ie yous two] Jimmy: [it's been an age by your standards cos he didn't post the bench moment the fans need #content 👌] Janis: [when that was too #personal we all know it] Jimmy: [whenever her actual name gets used it's too personal that's the tea] Janis: [no pretending then] Jimmy: [lbr there's barely any even this early on] Janis: [when you're just bad at this but that works in favour of being believed 'cos it's real lmao] Jimmy: [imagine if it was all fake like alright well bye] Janis: [you thought lads] Jimmy: [they'd have to be 🤖] Janis: [and you ain't, despite efforts bitch] Jimmy: [just like imma spend all this time with you and chat with you always but idc tho] Janis: [so realistic, the facts are if you actually intended to fake date you would have to do so little to make it seem legit, you don't need to really date lol] Jimmy: [literally could have do what Buster did for like 3 years and made someone up, he could've easily pretended he'd left someone up north but no] Janis: [like we know these girls are pushy but come on lol] Jimmy: [he's perfectly capable of being an antisocial dickhead and getting them to lose interest] Janis: [mhmm lmao, we see you, idk why we're shading as if this isn't out plan, like admit you fancied each other!!!1] Jimmy: [when it's a bestselling book/netflix show peeps gonna be shouting] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [do we wanna do a skip or have you got anything you wanna do on this drive while they bonnie and clyde 39ing it] Janis: [hmmmmm, part of me wants to do it but maybe we should skip idk] Jimmy: [if you wanna do it gal we shall 😘] Janis: [tings could happen as they do] Jimmy: [thank god he needs to keep his eyes on the road because I can only imagine how 🔥 she looks rn] Janis: [I need to find pics but defs a lewk, totally for your benefit whether we're admitting that or obvs not, boy] Jimmy: [I'm being cockblocked as standard but he'd be serving a lewk also in the effortless way he do] Janis: [we're all 😍 up in here but still, conversation lmao 'did your dad teach you to drive?'] Jimmy: [such a bitter laugh because Ian would never 'I get it, the deathwish is a strong one, but let's get the party over and done with first, yeah?' because you know Ian would be a crap driver all that road rage] Janis: [obvs senses that's a no-go topic area and nods 'works for me, not a very cool way to die, 'less we're driving off a cliff' ha ha mems bye] Jimmy: ['controlling carpet salesman is more your type than the easy-going musician which is awkward' cos the musician's name is Jimmy I lol 'and you love a flirtatious stranger an' all'] Janis: [lols 'well, what a drag, not even gonna counter it because would LOVE a new carpet right about now'] Jimmy: [looks down at the floor of the car like understandable 'if you could keep your legs closed for a bit so all my savings don't get nicked by some obvs irresistible dickhead, I'd love that though'] Janis: ['I make no promises' 😏] Jimmy: [shakes his head like ugh what am I gonna do with you] Janis: ['am I the hot one or nah though?'] Jimmy: ['Your shit taste is well documented' like you tell me] Janis: [shrugs like boy idk 'not got it memorized' 'cos lowkey has no clue] Jimmy: [shrugs back like neither do I as if he didn't just drop all that plot on her] Janis: [🙄 'well now I'll never know just how much of a drag it was'] Jimmy: ['I'm the hot one, you should know that'] Janis: [offended noises] Jimmy: [poke her like excuse you but keep 👀 on the road so god knows where that hand is gonna land] Janis: [flapping his hand away like get off 'I am not willing to say you're the hot one, thank you'] Jimmy: ['what are you willing to say then?' why you gotta be so flirty boyy] Janis: [raises her hand like she's swearing in court ['the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God'] Jimmy: ['sleepover was the other night, mate'] Janis: ['they weren't having no game of truth or dare with us' face like I wonder why lmao] Jimmy: ['gonna need you to take one for the team and express my heartbreak' cos he can't do 💔 hands while driving] Janis: [does 'though you're the only one not playing nice right now so, think on'] Jimmy: [risking a look at her like ?] Janis: ['we could play right now' like duh] Jimmy: ['what dares can I do with both hands on the wheel?'] Janis: [snorts 'don't tempt me' but shakes her head 'called TRUTH OR dare, just pick truth, and I gave you the chance to ask me first anyway'] Jimmy: ['I can't be pulling over every time you want me to do something' and a LOOK soz drivers 'but alright' cos can't turn down a challenge ever] Janis: ['you can keep your hands where I can see 'em at all times, promise' returning that LOOK but being 😳 by the time he's turned 'round 'go on then, ask me something interesting'] Jimmy: ['Nah, lasses first, gimme a dare, if you can think of owt'] Janis: [a sigh like fgs boy 'no, alright, let me think then' humming and tapping your lip to show how hard you're thinking about this 'alright, truthfully, if you HAD to bang one of the flat whites, who would you pick?] Jimmy: ['your sister' because honestly Grace is the least annoying not just cos Janis is not gonna be happy about it though that's a bonus] Janis: [retches 'shut up and pick someone else'] Jimmy: ['Don't ask for the truth if you can't handle it'] Janis: ['it's not the truth, you're a dick'] Jimmy: ['Yeah it is'] Janis: [😒] Jimmy: [nudges her like cheer up] Janis: [just shifting your body out of reach like no] Jimmy: ['Stop being a dickhead'] Janis: ['You first'] Jimmy: ['It were your question, I'd be a dickhead if I never answered'] Janis: ['we're not playing anymore'] Jimmy: [sighs but doesn't say anything] Janis: [turning up the music] Jimmy: [awkwardly driving] Janis: [getting herself a drink from the back probably very inelegantly climbing over all the shit, which is a bit rude but here we are] Jimmy: [a long enough pause that he easily could have dropped the topic but has not 'who did you want me to fuck'] Janis: ['Literally anyone but my sister, it's not hard'] Jimmy: ['would be' because ew imagine any of them and him] Janis: ['forget it'] Jimmy: ['You first'] Janis: ['fuck off, I don't have to do anything'[ Jimmy: ['I don't have to fuck your sister, it were just a game'] Janis: ['go for it, it's such an easy choice, like'] Jimmy: ['shut up, I don't wanna go for it'] Janis: ['whatever'] Jimmy: [is just looking at her like what the fuck are we doing this for if I was just gonna get with any of them, don't crash please] Janis: ['stop looking at me and focus'] Jimmy: [dramatically but safely thank you pulls over so he can just stare her out because that bitch] Janis: ['what are you doing?'] Jimmy: ['What are you doing?' so annoying] Janis: [the exasperation just like bitch, getting out 'I'm walking'] Jimmy: [obviously also gets out 'you're being a massive twat'] Janis: ['then get back in your car and leave me alone'] Jimmy: ['no'] Janis: ['well I'm not getting back in'] Jimmy: ['Well it's getting left here then, wherever the fuck here is'] Janis: ['Don't be ridiculous'] Jimmy: ['you'] Janis: ['I've not done anything wrong, I want to walk, go away' pushing him in the general direction of the car] Jimmy: [gets back in the car like fine but it's not fine] Janis: [just sitting on the side of the road fuming 'cos you've not even got the speakers yet] Jimmy: [when you can't even have a drink #gutted] Janis: go to my house Janis: I'll tell my brother you're coming to pick the gear up Jimmy: I'm not going without you Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: get in Janis: don't look at me don't talk to me Janis: alright Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [gets in and slams the door] Jimmy: [well this is fun kids, but hey at least we're moving again] Janis: [dramatically looking out this window] Jimmy: [turns the music up even more] Janis: [turns it down 'cos petty] Jimmy: [is so 😒 but leaves it] Janis: [get these speakers quick] Jimmy: [imagine the weird vibe when they do, oooh someone's had a domestic] Janis: [also gotta hope said sibling doesn't dob you in 'cos Jimmy is not old enough to be driving we all know this] Jimmy: [also hope Grace isn't home cos AWKWARD] Janis: [safe to say you will not be coming to this soiree anyway] Jimmy: [thank goodness none of them are for a multitude of reasons] Janis: [just both dying to be out this car now, on your phone giving people details so at least you've got an excuse/something to do] Jimmy: [what a hilarious drive back that would be] Janis: ['everyone's coming'] Jimmy: [nods in recognition of her saying that but we all know he's not bothered rn] Janis: [what if she invited Pete though] Jimmy: [BITCH OMG DO IT] Janis: [dragging you into this soz boy] Jimmy: [because they haven't been coupley af at his work yet or anything and neither of them has really interacted with him so it makes it more blatant] Janis: [gotta be done] Jimmy: [I am living] Janis: [we can probably skip now we aren't getting past this lol] Jimmy: [yeah agreed, like all he's gonna do is get back dump the shit then take the car back and check the kids are okay and then walk back to the school all in a moody silence so] Janis: [we know the vibe, blatantly taking advantage of how fast this party is gonna get out of control to avoid each other] Jimmy: [raid Ian's stash while you're there boy because stronger stuff that's so needed] Janis: [sudden life and soul like excuse me whilst I talk to everyone and accept all the drinks etc] Jimmy: [the fakest she's ever been] Janis: [hostess with the mostest] Jimmy: [we all know that's a fuck you too cos he called her a shit host] Janis: [getting turnt, locating Pete] Jimmy: [he's straight up gonna drag her away from that boy, soz pete] Janis: [he's gonna be so confused like hello? meanwhile 'well, that was rude'] Jimmy: [having to style it out to everyone like I just really miss her excuse me 'rude is right, what did you invite him for?'] Janis: [shrugs 'cos he's cool?'] Jimmy: ['how the fuck would you know?'] Janis: ['I talked to him' that was barely an exchange but pop-off 'anyway, there are so many people here, what does it matter?'] Jimmy: [😒 af but you can pretend it goes with what you're about to say 'my manager gonna turn up in a bit an' all or what?'] Janis: ['if he's cool too, maybe'] Jimmy: [walking away but giving her a look like you're such a dick] Janis: ['great talk' shouted after him] Jimmy: ['if you were cool, might've been' shouted back because so mature] Janis: [💔] Jimmy: ['Open with that, next lad you have a great talk with'] Janis: ['Thanks for the suggestion' and walking away to get fully lost in this crowd] Jimmy: [likewise walking off to somewhere he can be on his own or as close to that as we're getting in this chaos] Janis: [least there is an abudance of classrooms, they can't all be full yet] Jimmy: [get drunker because what could go wrong there] Janis: [oh lord, the only way is down] Jimmy: [I've just had the MOST EVIL thought because Pete also smokes do you see where I'm going with this] Janis: [I think I do you lil shrew] Jimmy: [not actually a MOMENT but when you're jealous af everything's a moment] Janis: [is nothing sacred] Jimmy: [how dare you smoke with other hot baristas] Janis: [you don't even smoke lol] Jimmy: [so yeah do you wanna do that? 😈] Janis: [why not, we're out here fucking everything up now] Jimmy: [when you're straight up just gonna try and leave this party boy please I'm not allowing that] Janis: [when you don't even get why he's just immediately turned around so offended so you think it's purely 'cos he doesn't want to see you rn so you go off into the main hall again like okay] Janis: go smoke, I've moved now Jimmy: go where you like Jimmy: I'm going home Janis: erm why Jimmy: 1. you heard me before, fuck who you want but don't make me look a twat Jimmy: 2. I don't need to be here Jimmy: 3. I don't wanna be here Janis: 1. I've not fucked anyone Janis: 2. so you're gonna leave me to get in trouble when that's the entire point of this whole thing to you, apparently Janis: 3. see 2 Jimmy: I've got no shortage of shit I can do to get in trouble Jimmy: You can have this one Janis: Bullshit am I taking the fall for you now Jimmy: bat your eyelashes and tell it were all my idea Jimmy: nowt even fake in that Janis: fuck off with that too Janis: you're being so stupid Jimmy: yeah proper smart move to be all over my co-workers Janis: Hardly Janis: I was talking to him, not a crime Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I have to see him every day at the same place those bitches go every day Janis: So Janis: I thought you might like someone here you actually know Jimmy: So it ain't very goals when your girlfriend is a massive slag Janis: I already told you Janis: I was talking to him, fuck all else Jimmy: And who else 👀 that? Janis: I've talked to plenty of people here Janis: and the reason I'm not talking to you is your fault so you can't put that on me Jimmy: Get in a darker corner and get a bit closer, sure we can still spin that so it's my fault somehow Janis: Jesus, I'm not an idiot and I'm not trying to fuck him Jimmy: we're surrounded by idiots, stick to the fucking script or exit stage left Janis: I'm making best of the situation Janis: but fine, let's both leave, this whole exercise has been fucking pointless Jimmy: Me an' all, this ain't happening to me again Jimmy: I loved her, I don't even like you Janis: What are you talking about Jimmy: leave it out Janis: You said it Janis: typed it Jimmy: I can't hypothetically fuck your sister with a gun to my head, you can't actually fuck anyone I know Janis: We were having a cigarette, that's what you 👀 Janis: if that pisses you off then you can see why you pissed me off Janis: that's that Jimmy: I never said I couldn't see why you were pissed off Jimmy: not blind Janis: Yes you did Janis: you still don't even get it now, so fuck that Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: but I'm never going near your sister Janis: then you don't Jimmy: I didn't invite her here to piss you off Janis: You didn't have to pick her Jimmy: You wanted honest Janis: Yeah, and if you can't see she's the worst Janis: then I don't want to be your friend and you don't get it Jimmy: I picked her 'cause she's barely spoken to me Jimmy: she's never barged in on me in the bathroom or awkwardly flirted with me Jimmy: there's nowt else to it Janis: I'm over this Jimmy: come on Jimmy: I don't like anyone, least of all any of them Janis: Fine Jimmy: is it? Janis: Sure Janis: it just proves how stupid this is Janis: you don't know me, I don't know you, we've got nothing in common Jimmy: that were the point Jimmy: you can't fake owt with someone who knows you Janis: that ain't the point in being friends Janis: to think we could do both was the mistake Janis: so let's drop it Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: but this party were a good idea Jimmy: is Janis: I hope so Jimmy: just stay Janis: whatever Janis: I had and ave reasons to be here too, I never said I didn't Jimmy: yeah Janis: enjoy your party, Jimmy Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: Make it a lot later okay Jimmy: suits me Janis: when are you going to be done with this? Jimmy: When are you? Janis: I'm fine now, no one thinks I'm gay Janis: but I'll hold up my end of the deal Janis: so get to your end point and tell me Jimmy: Lasses are gonna fancy me however long this goes on, soon as we end it I'll be back at square one Jimmy: might as well do it now if that's what you want Janis: So what was your plan Janis: do it 'til you found a real girlfriend, what? Jimmy: how do you expect me to plan for that level of crazy? Jimmy: I'll be gone soon Jimmy: be a new boy somewhere else Janis: You'll forgive me for not having much sympathy Janis: only been dealing with it forever Janis: and when is that gonna be, exactly Jimmy: hang on, I'll @ my dad and ask him Jimmy: doubt he'll mind Janis: I don't think either of us knew how long we were signing up for Janis: that's the point, yeah? Jimmy: don't worry about it, this party'll get me one foot out Janis: Good Jimmy: steady on, we ain't gotta have nowt in common Janis: You aren't funny Janis: so no danger Jimmy: ain't gotta be that either, have I? Jimmy: trying to repel the lasses not the other way round Janis: you aren't that special, you know Jimmy: it's not me saying I am Janis: no Jimmy: just trying to keep my head down Jimmy: it ain't my fault they like the look of it Janis: you've really fucked everything up Janis: but maybe that ain't your fault Jimmy: I have got form, probably is Janis: You love moping Janis: have it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: why'd you lie Jimmy: What? Janis: I ust wanna know what the point of saying you wanted to be my friend was Jimmy: I weren't lying Janis: You clearly didn't want to be my friend Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: Come on Jimmy: you Janis: You'd give a shit now if you did Jimmy: I do give a shit now Janis: about how you look Jimmy: stop chatting shit Janis: I heard you the first time Janis: none of this is remotely about me Jimmy: everything I do is about you Janis: You don't need to chat shit just 'cos you reckon I am Jimmy: you're my first thought in all this bollocks Janis: Yeah, and you hate me for it Janis: it isn't my fault they won't leave you alone either, alright Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I know that, not fucking braindead Janis: then don't treat me like I am Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: I don't need to go on about what today's been like, you've been about for most of it Janis: Yeah, alright Janis: I'm sorry for inviting your coworker Jimmy: Alright Janis: Actual truce then Jimmy: might last a fucking minute this time, like Janis: don't get carried away Jimmy: weren't promising nowt Janis: just warn me next time you're gonna have a meltdown and we'll be fine Jimmy: you were the one who stropped out of the car, babe Jimmy: didn't get a single 📷 Janis: and you're the one who wouldn't go to my house alone so Janis: we'll have to have a truce Janis: and I'm in no state now Janis: the evidence of this party will speak for itself Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: #whentheonlycrimecommitedisthelackofselfiesinthatoutfit Janis: Shut up 😏 Jimmy: at least come here so I can 😍😍🤤 over it Janis: tell me where you are then Jimmy: 🎨 room #duh Janis: 'course you are Janis: see if I remember where it is, get lost for once instead of you Jimmy: Where are you? Janis: bathroom Janis: where else do girls go to 😭 Jimmy: [draws her an adorable quick little map] Janis: Cheers, nerd Jimmy: now you can always find me when we're stuck here 💕 Janis: Cute Janis: fucking weird being here at night Janis: not that I think we will be much longer now Jimmy: do my 🥇 work at night, me Jimmy: I'll show you Janis: I'm not gonna grade you Janis: given how tense things are already, risky game Jimmy: I don't need you to tell me it's top marks Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: Colour me unsurprised that you're class show-off Jimmy: don't say a word, me Jimmy: there's no need Janis: oh God Janis: you're insufferable 😂 Jimmy: *😎 Janis: shh Janis: or I'm purposely getting so lost Jimmy: have to find you for once Janis: I'm good at hiding Jimmy: I'm good at 👀 Janis: the 😎 ain't prescription Janis: 😱 Jimmy: told you I weren't blind Janis: I stopped listening after you said you wanted to bang my sister Janis: which speaks to the contrary 🤷 Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: you would've heard me say sorry if you were bothered Janis: I'm bothered Jimmy: so what you just want another one? Janis: Maybe Jimmy: gonna have to do something for it since you ain't listening to nowt I've said Jimmy: 🤔🤔 Janis: Now I know why you wanted a dare Jimmy: Go on then Jimmy: I'll do owt you want so you know how sorry I am Janis: Don't say that Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos it's been one of those days Janis: and I'm too drunk to be sensible Jimmy: that's why you should let me make it up to you Jimmy: or it'll keep on being shit Janis: okay Janis: but you do what you think Janis: I'm not telling you to do anything Jimmy: just for tonight or ever again? Janis: like I tell you what to do all the time Jimmy: I'm just saying, might be a dealbreaker Janis: Oh right Janis: it's a kink, I forgot Jimmy: taking your 🎟🎟 off you Janis: 😣 Janis: I'll tell you what to do Jimmy: go on Janis: come out and find me instead Janis: I can't be just me and you right now Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: how far did you get? Janis: corridor Janis: don't call me scared Jimmy: [appears like the 👻 he is] Janis: [such an intense LOOK in every sense 'cos what a time we're all confused and frustrated] Jimmy: [giving her those 😍 he said he would and MORE lbr] Janis: [when I'm like you're staying still girl I don't trust you lol] Jimmy: [when I'm like who's around that you can use as an excuse to do what you really want lol] Janis: [there'd be people and that was my shameless vibe 'cos no going back if it happened when you were alone] Jimmy: [just really intensely kiss her in between saying how sorry you are then boy, I insist] Janis: [so about it there's no denying] Jimmy: [thank god they can forget because drunk if we need them to because DAMN] Janis: [god damn x3] Jimmy: [also thank god he's wearing more clothes than her because once again she's basically in the same boat as on school trip and they're just dry humping all over everything so casually] Janis: [put some more clothes on hoe lol but never do and seriously, this is enough of a show without how bad you wanna go further] Jimmy: [a hoe never gets cold especially in April] Janis: [it's basically Summer lmao] Jimmy: [they should go back to the art room at some point if they can ever find chill for a paint fight cos they wearing black it'd be 🎨] Janis: [that's a good idea] Jimmy: [I'm trying to think how they can lowkey trash the place and that seemed an obvious one] Janis: [I am down, if they ever stop lol] Jimmy: [which they won't for an age if ever lol] Janis: [how are we stopping y'all ahh] Jimmy: [someone could always basically fall on them cos drunk chaos] Janis: [that would work, break the spell casually] Jimmy: [especially if it's a heavy lad even you two can't just ignore that] Janis: [just 😒 but not at him so improvement lol] Jimmy: [don't fight him Jimothy just go have your paint fight and live your best life] Janis: [we all know you were very in the way lol] Jimmy: [as standard, so go handhold your way back to the art room as is also your standard] Janis: [being like 'which is yours?' like a parent coming to see your work on parents evening] Jimmy: [getting shy like] Janis: [squish.that.face 'go on' nudges him] Jimmy: [the most exasperated sigh ever like she is a parent suddenly lol] Janis: [walks around looking at the work herself like okay, okay, 'I'll work it out'] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her while she's checking out the 🎨] Janis: [when he's done enough doodles that you could pick them out but probably not 📷 'did I find them all?'] Jimmy: [just taking her to all the ones she didn't but he can't look at them because he's awks] Janis: [just approving like get it boy but silently and low-key 'cos not that bitch, turning round 'where do you sit then?' and sitting on his desk when he tells her] Jimmy: [sits on his chair so they're accidentally really close to each other] Janis: ['this is how porn starts' saying what we're all thinking] Jimmy: [loling] Janis: [😏 but tension] Jimmy: [😏 back forever] Janis: ['teach me then'] Jimmy: [gets out art supplies like a nerd] Janis: [buzzing like show me how to art] Jimmy: [what's a art thing he could teach her how to do? hmmmm] Janis: [thank god she's got some skillz even if drunk, don't wanna be tragically shit] Jimmy: [imagine, they'd be arguing again like immediately] Janis: [we don't need that tah] Jimmy: [christ knows what he's teaching her but it's a moment] Janis: [obviously gonna involve paint and obviously gonna splodge a bit on his cute concentration face to start this paint war] Jimmy: [get her back on her 😏 face because she would be and we all know] Janis: [I wish pinterest would come through for this but I already know lol] Jimmy: [I will look but they won't even serve me an outfit for him so probably not gonna happen] Janis: [exactly dr phil] Jimmy: [on the one hand I want other peeps to show up so they can attack them but on the other I don't because just jj things] Janis: [we probably should to avoid another Moment TM] Jimmy: [yeah at least when there's at least a couple of other people around we can pretend it's fake, there's no going back otherwise] Janis: [we can feel it coming lads] Jimmy: [so can they and that's the tea] Janis: [mhmm mhmm] Jimmy: [you deserve this carefree paint fight and ensuing makeout lads, shit is gonna hit the fan soon enough] Janis: [what kind of fallout should we do?] Jimmy: [that's a good question cos we know Ian is gonna 🥊 but yeah we need to decide how hard to go with everyone else] Janis: [like assuming the police get called to shut this down, I reckon you'd just get a warning/or maybe a community service vibe, that could be fun to do actually] Jimmy: [LIKE IN STEP UP but obvs not at all because they ain't cleaning no dance school but yass I like that idea] Janis: ['cos then even if Ian is like can't see that girl again they still will 'cos gotta go do this lol] Jimmy: [exactly and school will have to start eventually so you can't stop him then even if they get put in isolation or whatever they'll still find a way] Janis: [the rom and jules of it all] Jimmy: [you'll enjoy that both of yous] Janis: [not that you'll enjoy being separated the rest of the time 'cos so highkey heheheh] Jimmy: [though I'll enjoy not having to think of ways to cockblock you all the time] Janis: [just parents being parents 'cos you broke into and trashed your school lol] Jimmy: [this'll be a good reason for cali/the fam not to like him cos that was the vibe for why she had to invite him round to dinner remember when] Jimmy: [even though they would've totally done this when they were younger bye] Janis: [exactly yo, and likewise doesn't listen to them anyway so it's as much of a cockblock and not as we need so] Jimmy: [is there anything else you wanna do/have them say to each other before we 👮🚓?] Janis: [hmmm we've covered a lot of emotional ground I feel so we're probs good?] Jimmy: [I'm good with that]

[pennywaltzy]

Molly starts going to an art class, and is very surprised to find Sherlock there, and not as part of a case (sherlolly, obvs) thank you ❤❤

I hope this is something you like, @fibrochemist ! It’s more one-sided Sherlolly but I think you’ll like it. 

A Gift (An “In SO Few Words” Story) -What starts with Sherlock joining the art class Molly began taking when he faked his death ends with a friendship that waxes, wanes, and apparently ends with a gift beyond measure.

READ @ AO3 | SERIES PAGE | HELP ME SURVIVE? | COMMISSION ME?

“Your work is very intricate.”

She was almost spooked at the voice behind her. It was warm and velvety and deep...and most importantly, very recognizable. “Are you here on a case?” she asked, turning to face Sherlock.

He shook his head. “It was...recommended to me, strongly, that I find another outlet for my energy.” He gave her a fond smile. “I ruled out theatre because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone with a case interfering with a performance.”

“Ah,” she said, giving him a smile in return. “So you’re taking the class for fun?”

“Mary had seen some sketches I had done on the backs of potential wedding invitations so she suggested this class. She didn’t mention you were taking it.”

“Stress relief,” she said. “I needed to do something when...you know.” He nodded, as though he understood just how hard it had been to keep his secret. “I just didn’t realize I had a talent for it. I never had an inclination to draw as a child or teenager.”

“Well, you have taken these classes to heart. You’re quite skilled.” He pointed to the flower she was currently sketching from the still life. “When that’s painted, I believe it will look exquisite.”

“Actually, I work mainly with colored pencils and oil pastels,” she said. “I haven’t mastered the art of painting just yet.”

“Another skill I’m sure you’ll pick up.” His smile widened a bit more and he went back behind her, which is why she hadn’t realized he was in the class. She smiled brightly as she went back to sketching the display, proud that her work was good enough to get approval from Sherlock.

As time went on, there were more classes, and usually coffee at her flat afterward. Sherlock didn’t want to seem to spend much time at Baker Street leading up to John and Mary’s wedding, and even less when it was over. She offered him her spare bedroom as a place to think, and soon enough he was there every night Tom wasn’t, most nights finagling his way into her bedroom instead of the spare. It had settled into something comfortable, though she felt just a bit guilty that Tom was annoyed with Sherlock and the time she spent with him. One night he gave her an ultimatum and she decided her freedom to choose who she spent time with and when and where.

But soon Sherlock stopped going to the classes. She missed him, missed his comments on her work and giving him her thoughts on his. She missed the time they spent together and then...well, then she realized his time had been filled with Janine and she felt far less special. Perhaps she hadn’t mattered to him as much as she had initially thought. Her own enthusiasm for the classes and art, in general, waned until she stopped going altogether.

And then Christmas happened and he was locked away in Mycroft’s home. She had been asked to bid him good-bye at the tarmac but she declined, wanting to remember good things other than her last sight of him being at his exile away from her, away from them all. But she couldn’t escape the day entirely, and as she was having a cup of coffee in the morning before busying herself with work at Barts, her doorbell rang. She went to open the door and saw no one there, but there was a sketchbook on her welcome mat, tied with a red bow and a card attached. She picked it up and carried it into her home, starting to undo the ribbon once she had closed the door.

Inside, in between each pair of empty pages, was a sketch of her. All were exquisite, rear and side views, front views, full body sketches...and all seemed to be imbued with some feeling reminiscent of love and caring. She stared in shock before closing the book and looking at the note, setting the book down to open it.

Molly,

I am glad you are not coming to see me off. I have no intention of completing this mission with my death, as I know Mycroft has told you is the most probable outcome. But I wanted to leave you with my collection of sketches I did during class and at night when I couldn’t sleep at your home, and to give you the book to encourage the thing you love that I know I helped cause you to stop doing. Please keep making art. The world needs the brightness it can give.

Yours, Sherlock

She felt tears prick at her eyes and then picked up the book and hugged it to her chest. Such a wonderful gift, full of enormous sadness and hope in spades. She hoped his letter meant he’d fight hell and high water to come back instead of letting this be the end, but either way, she would honor his request. That evening, she promised herself, she would sketch Sherlock as she remembered him best: fondly, with love, and with a warm smile on his face full of the love he had felt for those who loved him.

#sherlock #sherlolly #mollock #molly hooper #sherlock holmes #fanfiction #fanfic #my au: in so few words #answering asks! #fibrochemist

[rambleonwithrosie]

Hello my lovely thirst babies! (It's what I call my followers)

For all of you new followers hi! Welcome! Enjoy the music and stay for the cute dish that is Queen's drummer.

All you previous 200 followers know that when I hit a milestone of 50 I always do a 50 questions type thing.

This one is gonna be all Queen!

(Also thank you everybody for sending a post from 0 to 500 notes in roughly one day!)

Opinion on Freddie Mercury calling himself "Mr. Farenheit"? It's adorable and almost like a little play on words with his birth name of Farrokh

Early 80's porn star Freddie or late 80's suburban dad Freddie look? Well I guess dad Fred because I'm not a stache person and the less facial hair and the shorter the better!

Stone Cold Crazy or I'm Going Slightly Mad? Tough choice but I'm Going Slightly Mad is the one I heard first and it's one of my favorites off of Innuendo. Sheer Heart Attack would be a great album even without Stone Cold Crazy

If Freddie asked you to house sit for him would you do it? Unless the cats are somewhere else no. I'm allergic and prejudiced against cats.

Satanic Prawn Onesie from It's A Hard Life music video or Disco Ball Red Devil Romper stage costume? Anything is better than the 800 eyed abomination

Get Down Make Love or Body Language? Get Down Make Love because at least musically it has some quality even if lyrically it's utter garbage (well if you chop off the first part it's not the worst)

Freddie in I Want to Break Free video or in Radio Ga Ga? Radio Ga Ga outfits always win. Plus other than the blouse I personally wouldn't wear anything Fred has on in I Want to Break Free

Opinion of Delilah? I think even if I actually liked cats I'd still cringe at it. As it is I definitely do not enjoy it

Bohemian Rhapsody or Bicycle Race? Oooh see Bicycle Race was my fav as a kid but BoRhap is legendary... I guess Bicycle Race because nostalgia and Star Wars!

Favorite 70s Freddie outfit?

Fat Bottomed Girls or Tear It Up? Ooh. Tear It Up. It's so delightfully naughty and grinds so hard. It's my dirty jam

Brian song you would really go all-out air-guitaring to? Tie Your Mother Down

Sail Away Sweet Sister or 39? I love the nerdiness of 39. But Sail Away Sweet Sister speaks to me and the main character of the novel I'm writing a lot. So gotta be SASS

"Hammer to Fall" or "Headlong"? Hammer to Fall probably. It's such a power jam. Not that Headlong isn't. It's also less dirty and it's on one of the best Queen albums ever

Favourite Brian solo? Oooh. Probably Tie Your Mother Down (I honestly can't recall if it has a solo. I just know it slams really hard and I live for that intro)

Briana in "I Want to Break Free" or Death in "It's a Hard Life"? Aghh. I love sassy Brianna but death is the only remotely sane looking one in Its A Hard Life

Favourite Brian solo song? I don't know a lot so Driven By You I guess

If you could spend a weekend with Brian, what would you do? Take nature hikes and talk about music and C S Lewis works and play with hedgehogs if at all possible

Would you rather stargaze with Brian or study in a science library with Brian? Stargaze for sure. I love it anyways and then he'd know all this brainy stuff that might put me to sleep but would still be fascinating

Favourite photo of Brian? I want his shawl thingy. Glam bastard.

Is Deaky one thicc bih in your opinion? He is certainly the thickest member of Queen. Have you guy's seen his apple bottomed ass of perfection?

If you could redo John's hair for Radio Ga Ga how would you do it? Maybe spiky with gel or something. Anything to reduce the electrocuted squirrel look

Describe John Deacon using 5 foods? Celery. Tall and kind of forgotten but essential. Onions because he's so savage at times he could make you cry. Hazelnuts because his hair and he's earthy and complex. Cheese because you are what you eat. And cherries but the tart pie kind not the sweet ones.

Where would you take Deaky on vacation? Hmmm. Some place with not a lot of people. I feel South America somewhere. Maybe a beach or to Patagonia

Favourite Deaky song? You're My Best Friend timeless and sweet

If you could give Deaky a new nickname what would it be? Salty the Hermit Crab

Favorite Deaky facial expression? His soft blushy sort of modest smile. Especially in the 70s.

Favorite photo of Deaky?

Favourite Deaky outfit?

Favorite salty Deaky face?

Which Monty Python sketch does Roger remind you of? The Encyclopedia Salesman because he could charm his way into somebody's house and sell them anything like the time he bs-ed that he was a Hoover vacuum salesman with I want to say John

Favourite harmonising by Roger? Probably Somebody to Love. He adds so much to those harmonies. And when they do it live it's even more noticeable but in a different way

What kind of car do you think I'm In Love with My Car is about? Whatever it is I see it as red. Probably a red Ferari. Or that's what I see and I'm sure Rog wouldn't have said no to one of those

You can have Roger do one of the (metaphorical) things to you that he mentions in "I'm in Love with My Car", what do you choose? Well giving him a thrill while my radials squeal does sound pleasant 😉😍😈

Favorite Roger Taylor solo work? Original composition it's probably Let's Get Crazy off of Fun In Space but if we're counting songs he covered Racing in the Street HANDS. DOWN! It's my fav song all time now. It and Brandy by Looking Glass

If Roger was an accessory, what would he be? Sunglasses of course 😎😎😎

"Modern Times Rock and Roll" or "Loser in the End"? Modern Times Rock N Roll. That song is not long enough. I love it.

You can talk to Roger for the rest of your life or have one night of passion with him, which do you choose? This is torture... but you didn't say I couldn't make out with him @squeezemylemon so trap there. I'm gonna talk to Rog and make out with him but no night of passion sadly. I'll still be happy kissing and chatting and being friends with a side of inspecting each other's tonsils with our tongues 😉😁😂

Favourite stage outfit of Roger's?

You can have a three-way with two different Rogers... 1) Do you do it? 2) Which Rogers (photo examples are encouraged)? Not my thing but I'm such a thirsty bitch for Rog that in this case hell yes. Sign me up for this sandwich right here

Brian or Freddie singing "'39"? Brian all the way baby. He has that perfect folk singer type voice

Which songs from other bands best describes each member? Brian is Bowie's 'Space Oddity'. Freddie is Elton's 'Rocket Man'. Roger's anthem has to be 'Big Spender' even if musically the style isn't him, musically he's Dancing in the Dark by Springsteen. John is Beethoven's 5th Symphony or The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel but don't ask me why

The members of Queen as characters from the Muppets? Hmm. John is one of the salty old guys from the audience. Roger/ina is miss Piggy because he's such a diva. Bri would be Kermit for somehow patiently dealing with Piggy!Rog. And I had to Google the other Muppets and found one named Pepe the King Prawn and if that isn't Freddie Mercury I don't know what is

The members of Queen as the Avengers? Brian is Director Fury (he counts as an Avenger right?) John is The Hulk, Freddie is outrageous Iron Man of course and Roger is Hawkeye full of sass quips and sex appeal

Queen as cake flavors? Freddie is Cherry Chocolate. John is Lemon. Brian is a really dark chocolate that probably has coffee flavoring to it. Roger is strawberry.

Queen as Classic Hollywood actors? I weirdly want to say Freddie as Clark Gable but I think he's more Douglas Fairbanks. Brian is Lawrence Olivier. John is William Powell. And Roger would be James Dean (he counts right?)

FMK: Rogerina, Briana, Frederika? Fuck Rogerina obvs. Briana is a suitable housewife. And as usual poor Fred gets killed. Sorry.

Which song would you have liked to have been around the composer as they created it? Well as much as I want to say a Roger song I'd be too busy distracting him for that to work so I'm gonna say Brian writing Dragon Attack

Favorite album art/cover? The Game. 1980 Rog in leather is my sexuality. Otherwise I'd probably say Sheer Heart Attack

Who or what is the (not actual) love of each band member’s life? Freddie's was the 4000 cats. Roger's amore is cars of course. John is in a committed relationship with cheese on toast. And Brian is a slut who while he's married to Red Special he goes around having affairs with badgers and faucets/taps

Thanks again @squeezemylemon and @zestysexmachinefromzanzibar for helping with all of these questions!

#funster & fruitcake #queen #followers #250 followers #queen blog #personal #50 questions

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 36

Spoilers, obv.

Well, this was a fucker.

I wrote the following while drunk a few weeks ago.

This is something I only found myself chewing over the way home from drinks in town when I select a Spotify playlist for fist-pumping tracks. And it's mainly stuff like Ram Bam's Black Betty and My Sex Is On Fire or whatever, but it also includes Billy Joel's We Didn't Start The Fire. Which is out of place in such a playlist, but also welcome.

It's a song which came out during the brief period between me becoming someone who bought pop music and someone who was a hardcore metalhead. It's a song I bought, and intensely loved. It's perhaps not a surprise. It's in its deeply unfashionable way, entirely me. A pure burst of reference pop.

It's a gimmick song. A list song. It's a list of events from Joel's life – it gives the impression of building towards the present day, but really is pretty fucking random from across the timeline, selecting stuff as it would occur, a ramble. The song is so sleight to be sarcastic, but it's delivered with a frustration and attack. The words are all meaningfully chosen, with juxtaposition between huge events and trivia equally sang with commitment, but the context is so traditional a frame to be almost dismissive. Yet with this disengagement – and with tricks thrown in to maintain interest from its monotony and add towards a slowly build tension – it builds towards an apocalypse, before backing off to a statement of that is how life feels as it is being lived, and the sense of apocalypse is an illusion, and the real horror is that this will continue ever onwards.

So, I was listening to that, while thinking about this issue, and sort of smiling.

And I can see what drunk me was getting at.

Okay – this is a tricky issue to talk about, as you slice somewhere and its guts come falling out. I've written a lot, but I'm also aware that writing that begs more questions which begs more specific answers. As always with these notes I say "This is a collection of thoughts from the making of the issue, but not comprehensive." Even in one like this where I'm saying a lot, that still holds true. This could have gone on forever. And on and on and on and...

Yeah, you get the point.

Perhaps the most common request from WicDiv fans is “Are we ever going to get a list of all the pantheons?” or, for the more demanding, “are we ever going to get a list of all the gods.” The latter makes me blink, for reasons I'll probably segue into, but we did want to do the former, at least as best as we could within the limitations we've set ourselves.

But also, I always think of the nature of murder and plans stretching across time. “I have been murdering people for hundreds of years” is a cool line, thrown off, never examined. I kinda wanted to examine it, and play with what the human brain does with repetition.

I recall a critique of the brilliant (and highly influential on yours truly) Heavenly Creatures, of the considerable sympathy you hold for the titular teemage murderers despite the horror of the murder on screen. The critique noted that the murder on screen was highly sanitized, and the actual murder had forty-five injuries, over twenty of which were head wounds. So the three or so blows shown in the murder were bad enough. When we're forced to really live with the actuality of what the murder required, to not just hit thrice, but again and again and again and again and again and again and many more times, at which point does any sympathy we have evaporate in the face of the actual reality of the horror of what they did. Murder is ugly.

I found myself thinking of an aside in one of the WW1 episodes of Hardcore History, which describes American reporters sitting in Belgium, watching the German army march past on the first offensive. It's over a million soldiers. The reporters sit in the cafe, and it's instantly astounding. And then it goes on, and the effect deadens a little. And then it becomes almost comic. And then, hours later, when you realise it's taken an entire day for these people to stomp past, it becomes surreal, brains shaking at the sheer size of it. That.

Also, Modern art, especially music, is about an exploration of repetition with minimised variations.  Paul Morley's Words And Music posited all pop music as a line from Alvin Lucifer's I Am Talking In A Room to Kylie's Can't Get You Out Of My Head, from which a city emerges. That.

And a lot more – that's a selection of thoughts that went into this. It's idea rich, and frankly there's some stuff which – like any experimental piece – was a surprise for the team itself. We walked away with new stuff in our heads, learned from having a jackboot stomp on a human face across all human history, and what we saw when we juxtapose all these things together. I highly recommend trying the impossible, at least once.

When I first suggested it to Jamie, he was excited. The thought was that it'd be a whole issue, with three panels a page. This would have been an easier task, partially as it would be the only work required in the issue, and also the framing in a wide panel would require more detail, but less total research. In short, you wouldn't have to worry about what people were wearing on their legs in periods with scant research.

That fell by the wayside when I did the tight plotting for the arc. We couldn't afford the space, and I can only imagine what the response to the issue among the anti-this-kind-of-stuff readers if we had.

(The response was exactly what we expected it be, in terms of strong polarisation between The Best WicDiv Thing Evvvvaaa! and those who it had no effect at all, that its non-traditional form of comic narrative was essentially invisible.)

It was a few other things as well – in one way, I just wanted to give Jamie a guitar solo. I think he's the undisputed costume designer of his generation in the American field – even putting aside his work on WicDiv, he's responsible between three of the most influential looks of our time, two of which are going to be everywhere for the next five years at least (Miss Marvel and Captain Marvel being the Everywhere-ers, and Ameican Chavez being one of those period touchstones.) The idea of having half an issue devoted to 128 new and individually reseached character designs is absolutely a mike-drop. No-one's done this. No-one would try to do this. I wanted Jamie's peers to cry at the idea of even considering trying this. Admittedly, this involved Jamie crying doing it, but the cost of doing business.

So yeah – while arrogant and desperately overambitious, especially in the context of a monthly comic book (this is easily as much work as two monthly comics) this is one we're intensely proud of.

I have also promised everyone I will never do it to them again. Because once you've done it once, there's no need to, right?

Okay – let's do this.

Jamie/Matt's Cover

Continuing the theme of the arc in terms of covers of “Persephones” and “Anankes” and “Minervas”, and clearly set up to be a “Hey, here's a new interesting character.”

Babs Tarr Cover

God, Babs is a hell of an artist. As usual, we just asked what she's be interested in, and the Persephone on Bike seemed too good to resist, with the implicit MotorCross Crossover thrills. Wonderful stuff.

Page 1

Cutting this to the bare minimum is always the thing. Enough to treat the characters as iconic as the ones in the present – the three panels with 2/3rds main image is what we use for the vast majority of the traditional transformation, and with small tweaks we keep the same beats.

We'd normally do a LOC CAP or similar in this scene, but that would step on the effect as we start LOC CAP-ing on the next page.

Of course, by now, we know how this scene goes...

PAGE 2-12

I'm not going to go too deep into this, and try and talk about top level thinking and the choices you make when going on this kind of an endeavour, especially when you know that there's no ideal one. History is a mess.

If you want a panel by panel walk through of the periods, I direct you to Twatd's extensive 6000 years of murder. They've also just put it in an ebook for their patreon folk, if you want to throw them some coins. I'll be picking up some various bits of details.

First leg of this fucker was me, basically on my own with the history books and the spreadsheets.

The main part of that was simply positioning each one, for definite. Until now, I've allowed myself some flexibility, based into the nature of the recurrence. I didn't need to know the exact dates until I wrote a story in the period, so I didn't nail them down. As we set up in the first issue, it's every ninety years from the end of the previous pantheon. The Pantheon length varies between 1-3 years, depending how quick the gods die. A 1 year pantheon would be them all dying in two calendar years, and a 3 year one being a very slow one. There's few of them. Most Pantheons are across 3 calendar years (Therefore, a 2 year pantheon). I'd checked I could land a pantheon on 455 earlier, based on the squishiness in these math, but I learned how to actually work a spreadsheet, put the math in, and tweak.

On another bit of the spreadsheet I started doing the other half of the work, which works in parallel (but mostly separate) from the main thrust of history. As in, Ananke's story. Where she is at each point in history, what she learns there and what she's trying. There's some areas where the change in her tactics is quite obvious, and can be discerned from just what's shown in the panel. The ones where it's major but bemusing are likely the ones we'll be delving into in the future – either next issue, the final special or some other point.

Even writing this part was strange, entering the mind of someone who's been working on a project for 6000 years, and the waves of ennui and experimentation and strangeness. How to think like Ananke? It's hard. Every ninety years this thing happens. How she gonna play it this time? You occasionally get WicDiv readers asking “Why doesn't Ananke do X thing?” and this answer she probably gives would be “Yeah, tried it a few times, doesn't work nearly as well as you think it would.”

The biggest problem is choosing the pantheons, and the narrative it's choosing to tell through it. With the big list of pantheon dates the two core questions are...

What's the most culturally influential thing going on in this period that we know about?

How can we get the best global sampling that we can?

The latter is the fucker, because records are bad, and while history isn't written by the winners, history is written by those who write histories or at the least those who make things which historians can find or those historians have bothered to try and find. That warps the options for choices intensely, and often ways which frustrate our desires and choices. The script draft had multiple options for each category, and we chewed them over – there's a page in this month's Image+ which shows some of my notes there. Especially with the super-long-lived cultural empires, we looked opportunities to justifiably use anything other than them to just avoid 3000+ years of alternating between China and Egypt.

(Seriously, of all the many things this project has given me, a better understanding of the physicality of time, both its expanse (as in, HOW LONG HAS EGYPT BEEN THIS CULTURAL CENTER?) and its shortness (It is 66 full-lifetimes between us and the start of this mess. The last page skipping back from 2013 hits the majority of what we think of as history. It's a vertiginous book if you let it get beneath your skin, and we had to.)

Equally, we should unpack “culturally influential.” “Culturally Influential” normally means “invaded and killed a bunchy of other folks and made them take on your culture.” This is mainly a list of cultures who've dominated their locales. This has always been there in WicDiv. The 20th century Pantheon is primarily (though not solely) American. The 19th century one was primarily European. 455 is about the fall of Rome.

I'm not sure if I have to state the obvious: all the choices flow from the nature of WicDiv gods as cultural epiphenomenon (or, if not epiphenomenon, heralds. Or both. Either way, the gods dovetail with the rise of "civilization")

We map the gods to known history. If it's troubling, it's troubling because world history is troubling. And I do find that troubling.

At the same time, the concept of the book also lets us create spaces for possibility. We are showing one god from the period - Persephone. There's another dozen elsewhere. While we've shown some pantheons work with a tight geographical focus (such as the London/UK one) others have sprawled across considerable spaces, covering at least a continent and sometimes more. Some of the pantheons shown in this issue imply that kind of gap, normally signified by Ananke dressed in culturally different garments than the Persephone. Equally, some of the more extremely positioned Persephones are a snapshot that implies that gods can end up that far afield, at least occasionally.

In other words, if we drop a pantheon anywhere on the continent it implies that in some of the pantheon are in areas other than the direct place we're putting them. Steppes People bar one Hunnic one. Africa South of Mali. Most of East Asia, bar China and Japan and one Vietnamese Persephone we squeezed in. A lot of South and North America. We just don't have the history to know what or when to pick, and the relevant reference to draw even if we could.  

(The exception we forced was Australia, as we didn't even have a single god on that continent. As such, it was key to show a god on that continent to show that gods could be on that continent and by implication they could in one of the other pantheons.)

The above grates, but this issue was one of a bunch of compromises and decisions. This

There's also an attempt in the Ananke/Persephone pairings to talk about various stories. Sometimes the Persephone prefigures a culture's dominance. Sometimes it prefigures its fall. Sometimes it prefigures an option simply not taken. There is an implicit complexity and ambivalence to what we're showing here, as human history resists easy answers.

The naming is the other major bugbear. After the above choices were made, I spent a clear week going back and forth for a standardised naming system to use. Having one which I felt made sense, I spot the couple of exceptions where it didn't, and flick back entirely the other way. There's been times when the whole thing had generalised “Africa” or “Europe” captions. There was times when I considered not even having any captions at all – but these sacrifice so much in terms of the thrill of the mystery of these names. When (say) “Uruk” turns up it's meaningful and interesting, and losing that seemed a huge cost.

The rules we went with were as followed...

If we want to place this Persephone to a specific locale that exists and I want to specifically set the story in that limited locale, we use that name. (e.g. Athens, Uruk)

If a cultural region exists, and I don't want to tie the story to happening to a specific settlement in it, I use the cultural region (e.g. Egypt). If I want to be a little more specific, we can include geographical detail (e.g. Northern China).

If nothing exists for sure, use pure geography (e.g. The Upper Nile.)

All this also ties into my own knowledge of any areas. Some areas I have more confidence in choosing where to place the implied story. Some, I'd rather step back and be broader. This is based upon the background knowledge in a section. To do otherwise, I'd have to do reading akin to a WicDiv special for every panel in this issue, and as each WicDiv special is basically 6 months work, I'd have to had spent 33 years on this one.

This has one eye on the future – if we ever go back and do stories in WicDiv's history when all this is open, I want as much room to manoeuvre as possible. Do not close stuff off we don't have to, while also leaving enough room for people's imagination to populate the world.

Christ – this is 2500 words already, and I haven't said anything yet. You should see the script. There's actually a page of it which is going to be in the next Image Plus. I was a little reticent, as any one page was either too long or too fragmentory. We included one, which includes a couple of notes in from various levels of the production. The basic structure is that the panel is split between a “What the interaction is between the Ananke and the Persephone” and the “What period is this set in or what choices do we have?” And then there's a mass of conversation, both online and in person, after that. We say that all scripts are conversations, but it was never moreso in this issue.

The main take away from the second half was wanting to give Jamie as much room as possible and cut as many corners as he needed to get through it.

This is Jamie. He's never going to cut any corners.

(There's sections at the start where I suggest doing things like dropping backgrounds entirely and making it symbolic or whatever, but Jamie! That guy. THAT GUY.)

The baton of the workload then passed to Jamie. This is simultaneously a much bigger workload and a significantly different. I was performing a great filter. He was digging into specifics.

To get an idea of the scale of this, hired a costume researcher for this for a week of solid work, and they managed to do about a quarter of the periods, and even then not completely. The rest were done by Jamie and Katie as they proceeded through the issues.

Our costumes and choices are most conservative in the periods we know least about, and are normally excused by “if we don't do this, we miss this culture out entirely.” The further back we went, the harder it was, but even that isn't on a level playing field. When we get past the history and into the quasi-myth it also becomes tricky. It's just tricky.

As this was all only completed right up against the hard deadline, it also left barely any time to actually do the level of due diligence we wanted. We were expecting that we'd have stumbled over something accidentally mortifyingly offensive by accident in terms of colour choices or something else easy to stumble over, but the surprise is that there's been relatively little about that. We were expecting to have to do a bunch of tweaking when we come to the trade, and just mea culpa. In fact, there's only a handful of things to tweak – one place name which, after due consideration, I think I'll change and one architectural mishap. Frankly, this is much better than we were thinking, though I guess there's time for more stuff to be spotted.

Right – let's do a quick tour through the pages, with me pulling out bits and pieces which spring to mind.

Page 3 – still dealing with regions-rather-than-places, with Uruk being a side-step. Also sets up the rhythm of things staying the same and then things changing – as in, repetition enough to let people know there's a pattern, then a subversion. As it's the opening, the pattern is pretty obvious – straight murder until a Persephone gets wise and fights back, and then a change of tactics. Er... I'm not going to go in detail on this stuff from now, as that's reading the bloody comic for you, and I'm not one of those comic reviewers who just do a synopsis of the comic and sticking a 7/10 at the bottom. Even when I was a critic, I was the type to write a synopsis and stick a 6/10 at the bottom as I was a big ol' meanie.

The thing which most strikes me as sad about the research is that any headwear is a total waste. Man! Decapitation is the worst.

Page 4 – Japan 2942BC is one of my fave Persephone looks. I also like Ananke Northern China.

Yes, the “Crete” one is very clearly a “Wait – what happened here?” one. More anon.

Page 5 – Watching Ananke across this period is the interesting one.

Wrangel Island is one of my favourite historical things, in that it's the last place Mammoths were alive on Earth, around this period. There's a story I've wanted to do that is set this period. Maybe one day I will. I want to do it as an OGN, but part of me thinks it's actually a 5 page short story.

Egypt shows the arrival of the Pyramids here – architecture in backgrounds is one of the trickier things we had to deal with, but something that big and iconic is hard to resist. This was one of the problems culturally speaking – that there's many cultures we couldn't get good (or any) reference for their houses, so they tended to be put in rural/wooded situations, which carries an implication we weren't fond of. Occasionally we pushed it as far as we dared with simple housing to avoid that.

Man, I love the movement Jamie does in the middle two panels – plus the treatment of colour from Matt. That's actually worth stressing – I said it was a huge amount of work for Jamie? It's equally hilarious for Matt. He normally gets to set up a palette on a scene, and then carries it to other panels. Here, he has to reinvent it every single time. Stuff like the transitions from Egypt to Wrangel Island is dazzling.

Page 6

I resisted the Druidic one for a while – the earlier Western Europe one too – but they were both also (I think) Egypt ones. Basically everything here which is us going “We can use this for another locale” is taking out an Egypt or a China. Egypt and China have done so much stuff, guys. It's kinda scary.

Australasia is clearly one where we played it particularly tight – by definition, Ananke will have travelled here, and we minimise as much of Persephone's clothes due to not knowing for sure what people would wear in the period.

Page 7

Honestly, with out own interest in decapitated head, we were hardly going to resist the Olmec heads, right?

I like the implication of the story with the Egypt one here. You can see Ananke taking the Persephone all the way beneath the surface for this scene.

Page 8

Any time I look at the Assyrians I think of taking my friend Sarah Jaffe – not someone who is into ancient history – around the British Museum. When passing through the Assyrian display, I tried to work out how to sum up the Assyrians. I ended up with “The Assyrians... well, the Assyrians were tossers.” I may have used a stronger word than “Tosser.”

How do we know this? They spent a lot of time carving pictures of how much a tosser they were, just so we all know thousands of years later.

I find myself wondering what looks Ananke most liked? Does she look back fondly at certain periods? Almost certainly.

Page 9

It's around this point the sheer size of ancient history starts to get to you. Especially in the earlier Egypt/China-duopoly drafts it was like being punched in the face. It goes on and on and on and on. Which is the effect we were looking for, of course.

I kinda wished I could find somewhere other than Macedonia to do this one, but I couldn't find anything that made sense.

Eturia is one of those implied-other-story ones. This is near Rome, but not Rome. Eturian culture was significantly different from Rome, and you wonder what a more Eturian influenced Roman culture could have been like. I mainly ramble by way of example in my thinking for some of these.

Page 10

Yes, I smiled at Judea. Into the AD!

The South East Asia one is Vietnamese, and one of the ones we had least to draw off, but when there was so many East Asia pantheons, having them all be China and Japan felt worse than doing one with minimal sources.

The Eastern Europe one is my one complete fuck up when scripting this – it was originally the Hunnic invasion of India, with Persephone as a Hun. Except I had just read a number wrong, and the Hunnic Invasion of India was a century later, at a similar time to the Fall Of Rome Pantheon. A quick last minute panic kept it as Steppes People, and just had it out there, in the regions were the Huns were pre most of this, foreshadowing.

454 is earlier in the Fall Of Rome special. One of my reads in my research on that one was that Roman failure to integrate Germanic peoples into the empire to rejuvenate it (as they had with previous migrant groups) was one of the prime causes for the western fall, so this seemed a symbolic way to go. And look at the dappling!

Page 11

Tikal is the one I'll tweak. That's a more modern name. I'll likely tweak to Yax Mutal in the trade.

The Constantinople panel is the architectural problem – that Hagia Sophia look is simply from a much later period.

The acting in the first four panels are basically my favourite thing in the whole issue. Yes, the fourth one is “that time with the Franks” as referenced earlier in this arc.

I did try to tweak numbers and end up with a 999 pantheon, but couldn't make it land, and I decided that the Nun Lucifer story would work better later, circa the Black Death. As such, doing a millennial pantheon this far from the AD timeline appealed. And look at the fashion!

Page 12

The next special is 1373, so close to the fourth panel here. More to come, etc.

First two panels are the Crusades, mirroring one another.

Page 13

When planning this originally, I thought 60 pantheons. I then failed to realise I did the math wrong, and if I started close to 4000BC, it'd be 66 pantheons – so we'd need 11 pages. I did have a draft with a slightly longer start, but I realised that I couldn't afford another page, when I had a lot of work to do in the latter half of the issue.

I also realised that it's not 66, as the first one is actually the one we saw in 34, which is by definition, not in this sequence. Which left us one panel at the end. We played with various options, but calling back to a sequence from issue 9 seemed a good move. It's a scene which, of course, reads differently now.

These are the most familiar pantheons, of course.

Page 14

Interstitial, a nod to the Kanye track. I originally had this as the interstitial at the end of last issue, but felt that it contextualised Baal in a crass and deceptive way, and made it more likely to be taken as literally without any nuance. By placing it between these two horror stories, applying the word to both Ananke/Minerva and Baal, there's more space to think about it.

Page 15

I normally do a tight synopsis for the whole arc before starting. I did for this arc, and it actually expands to next arc too. However, these always change. When I reached this issue, especially when I realised it would be 12 of the 20 pages, I did some reworking of plot threads, moving a couple of other beats either to a teaser for next issue or just to next issue – as next issue is one with much more space available for present day stuff.

I did it as basically Baal's origin (there's no other word for it – Baal is a classic superhero origin story, as pure as Spider-man's) requires the space. He's earned it.

Still – as there is one other key thing which needs space, the question how to approach it was there. The final choice was minimalistic and cleanly. Three panels here, into the flashback. Red colouring. Baal's colours now.

Flame fade out to flashback, ala all performance-storytelling we've seen so far. As in, Gods' signature segues to flashback.

Page 16-17

I love what Matt is doing here with texture and shape. It makes everything feels alive, like ornamental, pushing against Jamie's art. It's like a mural, it's art.

Not a back garden but a playpark. I imagine Baal on the way home, crossing across here, meeting the lady and...

2 page scene. This needs space, in its own way.

Page 18-19

A spread, but this is effectively one page in terms of page use. Trying to get as much story as we can from the limited page count available. This is almost all Star Superman in cutting to the basics – a single image showing a fragment of the fight, and one of Baal's line.

More red. You see where we're going, as it's building up.

“that night, I did it” just made me shiver.

Page 20-22

We talked about various approaches to this – on a single page. but we chose to burn pages. As always, these are free, and don't come from the page count of the issue. In this case, it lets us dwell on it, and hit it again and again.

Page 23-24

And a segue out, back into reality. This is where we crunch the details we feel people need to know.

Of course, this is why Baal has always taken the Great Darkness more seriously – not least he knows what he has to do if the Great Darkness isn't dealt with before another three months ticks over. You can probably chew over yourself how much is him believing it's saving the world and how much he believes it's just saving his family. I don't think you have to choose one or another.

“You don't need to know” is a very WicDiv choice, isn't it?

It's one of the things which is there, but never stressed – Baal, for all his bluster, has never won a fight in all of WicDiv, when actually fighting against someone who fights back. Here's the reason.

It's worth noting Baal had the necklace, at least occasionally, before issue 4 of WicDiv. Woden is completing it as he hands it back. As in, it's been tuned up for a while – obviously it needs to be completed with what Ananke suspected may be coming with Lucifer. Er... this is probably too much to say here? It just occurred. It's the sort of stuff we chew over.

I suspect “I want to die/but I want to live” is one of those axis which WicDiv is built around? I found it upsetting to write, which is normally a tell.

Page 25

I said this when asked about the pregnancy plot when the issue came out...

Thanks for your faith, but I understand cynicism. It’s not as if there’s much track record for media doing this well. I’ll probably write a little more about it in the writers notes - I just deleted a paragraph here as I want to chew over my exact wording carefully. The short version is, like everything we do, we take it intensely seriously and we didn’t go here lightly. I also have faith in the readers unpacking it and making their own sense of it as we continue - I think Pomegranate’s take is basically the best sort of response we could have hoped for at this point, really.

… and after chewing it over, I don't think there's much I can add to it, really. Further into WicDiv I'm sure I will, but it's too connected to everything, and any explanation just leads to questions I can't answer yet.

I do wish I had slightly more space here to push the pause as Baal chewed it over longer.

Page 26

The idea that Baal would burn down Valhalla only struck me as I was writing this sequence. Of course he would. It just made sense.

This is a great example of Jamie being an amazing storyteller. I put her outside, and Jamie asked questions about how far, what would be nearby and so on. So we end up with an image which grounds this melodrama back to reality, hard. We see this godly palace burn sown from a simple London street. The movement between the two worlds. And morning. This is real. We wake up.

Also – Matt follows him. After the mythic colouring we've seen earlier, here we have this very normal, very real dawn. He's wonderful.

Worth noting there is a considerable time skip. By implication, Baal's performance lasted much longer than it took to read.

Mildly frustrated the issue printed a little dark, so the message was nearly unreadable, and was missed as the cliffhanger it is. Namely, a message from someone (I suspect many will guess who) catching up on the nights events... and The Norns being locked up again after Cass has said stuff?

In the original draft for the text I used the phrase “Sectioned” but was informed it's something which wouldn't make sense for a North American audience. I suspect I'll tweak again to get a cleaner message out.

Anyway – mildly frustrated the information doesn't 100% land here, but next issue goes at it running.

Page 27

I wanted a simple title here. It's Baal's story.

And that's it. God knows how much I'll edit out of this mess. The next issue is out tomorrow, and hopefully you'll find it interesting.

#writer notes #the wicked and the divine #WicDiv

[emotionalsupportoldlace]

Four Times Gert and Chase Shared A Bed and the One Time They Didn’t

Title: Four Times Gert and Chase Shared A Bed and the One Time They Didn’t By: emotionalsupportoldlace aka me, Mindy Pairing: Gert Yorkes/Chase Stein (obv) Description: Title says it all! Warning: This fic contains heavy mentions of abuse.  Author’s note: There is a lot of cheesiness in this fic, because I’m the biggest sap. Also, below are the songs I listened to while writing this fic. I managed to fit in lyrics from each song, so here’s some context.

one two three four five 

This fic is dedicated to the very special and incredible Emma @shesbeautifulandsheglows, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEGEND!!! I hope you like this birthday gift. PS everyone go wish her a happy birthday plz she’s the greatest 💗💖💝��💞💟💕

One.

Man, oh, man, you're my best friend / I scream it to the nothingness / There ain't nothing that I need

Gert hated sleepovers. When everyone came to stay at her house, it was fine. She welcomed it. She got to spend time with her friends AND sleep in her bed. It was the best! But when it was someone else’s turn to host, she dreaded the concept of sleepovers. It’s not that she didn’t enjoy seeing her friends, or the food and fun that sleepovers bring, but the idea of not sleeping in her own bed made her stomach feel weird. Most nights at her house, she ended up sleeping in bed with her mom and dad. She knew could never back out on attending one of the said sleepovers because they had become tradition and she didn’t want to feel left out. So she pushed through her fear, enjoyed herself as much as she could, and tried her best not to cry herself to sleep while in her sleeping bag. No one was ever to find out Gert was afraid of the dark and sleepovers, because she’s 8 years old! 8 year olds aren’t scared of sleeping alone! Especially GERT YORKES! If anyone ever found out about her deep, dark secret, she wouldn’t be able to take it! She would just die. Once a month they took turn hosting the sleepovers, and tonight was Chase’s turn. His dad was out of town on a trip for work, so it would just be Janet with the kids that night. It was always better when Victor wasn’t around, mostly because Chase was a lot more at ease. Gert wasn’t sure why, but it seemed like Chase was always on high alert when Victor was around. He didn’t smile as much, and that made her sad. In order to assure that tonight went off without a hitch, she packed her favorite stuffed dinosaur and her lucky pajamas into her backpack. Tonight would be okay, she kept telling herself, because she’d be at Chase’s house. The Stein residence, although stifled with tension, felt like home to her. Things were always better with Chase by her side. Out of the seven friends, her and Chase were the closest. She considered him to be her best friend. They’d been inseparable ever since they met, when their parents brought them all together for the first time. It was always easy around Chase; she was never nervous or uncomfortable around him. He made her laugh, and always made sure she was okay. If anyone was mean to her, Chase would come to her defense. In kindergarten Chase made his parents go to the school to get a bully, who regularly targeted Gert, switched out of their class. He got detention in 2nd grade for punching a boy who was making fun of her shoes on the playground. Just this year he broke his arm in gym class when he prevented Gert from falling. Sometimes she thinks Chase gets more upset about things relating to her than she does herself. Chase was just a friend, though. He didn’t give her intense butterflies. She didn’t blush whenever he was around. His hugs didn’t make her feel weak in the knees. His laugh didn’t make her feel a thing. She didn’t think about him every night before falling asleep. Those “I <3 Chase” doodles in her diary were a joke. She definitely didn’t have a crush on a Chase. Boys? Gross. Crushes? Double gross. The idea of kissing Chase? UGH! That night, after all the games of Candyland, the many slices of pizza, and some pool time, the kids were all cozied up on the floor of Chase’s living room, watching some animated movie Gert didn’t care for. She was too busy worrying about falling asleep. Gert spent most of her time worrying amour the littlest things, and it never seemed to get easier. The older she got the worse the worrying became. She hated that. As she glanced around at her friends, she noticed most of them were already asleep. Swimming did tend to tire you out, and they had played together long at all. So why wasn’t she tired at all? Why couldn’t she ever seem to turn her brain off? Her train of thought was cut off by the sound of footsteps. Janet was coming in. Everyone was asleep, so she pretended to be too, to avoid the awkwardness that might ensue. She heard the click of the TV remote, and the room became eerily silent, give or take a few snores. Gert’s surroundings became significantly darker, other than the light from the moon peering in through the curtain. She shriveled up in her sleeping bag and held onto her dinosaur right. Gert laid still in her sleeping bag, turning every once and a while to look at the clock nearby. She couldn’t see if very clearly,  if she knew it was past midnight. It was a curse she hadn’t fallen asleep yet. She shut her eyes tight hoping a miracle might happen and she’d finally fall asleep. Mindless thoughts scurried around her brain and the minutes of restlessness turned into another hour. Gert could feel the lump in her throat growing. She tried her hardest not to cry, hiding her face in her pillow. Out of nowhere, she felt a tap on her shoulder. At first she thought she might be dreaming. Maybe she had been asleep all along? Nope. “Gert?” whispered Chase, who has been asleep right next to her. She reached for her glasses, putting them on so she could see him better. “Yeah?” “Why are you awake?” he responded as quietly as possible. She sighed and avoided his eyes. “I can't sleep. I’m fine, though.” Chase chuckled and put his hand in her shoulder, which sent waves through her body. “I wasn’t asleep either. I hate sleepovers.” Gert gasped, a little too loudly, by the look on Chase’s face. “You do?” Chase nodded and leaned closer to Gert’s face, making her hands sweat. He was all up in her personal space, and she did not care. Maybe she did like Chase, but she’d worry about that later. “I’m scared of the dark. It’s why I have glow in the dark stars in my ceiling. My dad won’t let me sleep in their bed with them on nights when I get super scared, so I had my mom put them up so I wouldn’t be afraid anymore.” He smiled at Gert. Gert felt relieved. Of COURSE Chase was scared of the dark. That was just another thing to add onto the list of things they had in common. “Me too,” Gert replied as Chase climbed out of his sleeping bag. She brought a finger to her lips, signaling him to be quiet and not wake up the others. He extended a hand, and she hesitantly interlocked their fingers, holding onto her dinosaur with her other hand. She hoped he wouldn’t be able to tell how sweaty her hand was. He whisked her off towards the stairs, tiptoeing down the hall towards his bedroom. Chase opened the door and led Gert to his bed. Gert felt like she was about to explode. As children, her and achase napped together plenty of times. But now they were older, and maybe Gert had a crush on Chase, which complicated things. He patted the spot next to where he was already laying. Nervous as hell, Gert climbed into bed next to him. She laid quite a difference from him, not wanting to make it weird. “Come on Gert. I don’t bite,” Chase said as he moved closer to her. Their hands were touching now, and Gert nervously laughed as she stared at the glow in the dark stairs that filled the room with just enough light. She turned towards Chase and smiled, noticing he had already been looking at her. There she lay, next to her best friend, the boy she probably liked. It was just the two of them. If this was a dream, she hoped she never woke up. As Gert’s she’s began to close, sleep slowly creeping up on her, she felt Chase ease his hand onto hers. He laced their fingers together, and Gert tried her hardest not to make a note of it. She played it cool, closing her eyes while a smile crept across her face. “Goodnight Chase.” “‘Night Gert.” Gert was content in her surroundings, while holding onto Chase’s hand, right on the cusp of sleep. One gina thought echoed through her mind before exhaustion overcame her... Yep, she definitely liked Chase Stein.

*******

Two.

I can’t get my head around it / I keep feeling smaller and smaller / I need my girl

It’s 11pm on a Wednesday night, and Gert feels like she might collapse from exhaustion soon if she doesn’t finish this English essay she’s been slaving on since she got home from school. She doesn’t know why she put off this assignment for so long, because that’s so not like her. Gert’s not the type to procrastinate, she has a GPA and persona to manage, duh. It’s not that she cares about what others think, she just likes being the best of the best. It makes her feel extra good about herself when she gets straight As on every assignment and project while the popular girls struggle to even get Cs. At least she has one up on them in one aspect.

Her back is aching and her head feels like it weighs 500 pounds. One break wouldn’t hurt, she tells herself. It’s her fault she’s being forced into pulling an all-nighter, so she might as well treat herself. Emerging from her computer chair for the first time in what seems to be an eternity, she gets up and walks into her bathroom, beginning her prep for a well deserved shower. Gert settles for nothing less than hot showers, and she can’t imagine why anyone else would. A scalding shower is what she wants more than anything right now, other than to sleep for the rest of the week. If only Gert didn’t care about perfect attendance or education in general. Sometimes she wishes she could be a slacker, but it just wouldn’t feel right.

All is going to plan until Gert is about to pull her shirt over her head when her phone rings.

“Of course,” she groans, picking up her phone from the sink counter.

It’s Chase.

She eagerly answers, wondering what on earth would cause Chase to call her this late. He’d never admit it to anyone, but she knows he’s an early sleeper. He has the sleeping pattern of a grandpa. It’s cute - one of the many cute things about him.

“Hello?”

“I’m outside. Can you come let me in?”

Chase’s voice is low, and sounds raspy; kind of like how it sounds when you have a cold or you just finished crying. She knew he wasn’t sick - she had just seen him before he left for lacrosse practice and she headed home. So, it must be the latter, which means something is seriously wrong. A pang of fear rushed through Gert’s body and before she could even realize that she was running down her stairs, she’s already at her front door.

She took a deep breath before opening the door, trying to mentally prepare herself for what might be on the other side. Gert has a bad feeling about this, and her intentions were usually right. What if someone died? Oh my god, what if he murdered someone? Her thoughts ran rapid, and she wished her constant negativity could take a break for a second.

Fuck.

You know how Gert is usually right? This time was no exception.

She opened the door to find Chase, in his lacrosse hoodie, arms crossed and face hidden. “Bad sign,” she tells herself. His demeanor is off, shoulders down and his body language was off, which was odd. With Gert, Chase is always an open book. They tell each other everything. 

At least that’s what she thought.

Gert doesn’t say a word to him; just leads him up the stairs into her room, quiet enough so no one hears. Dale and Stacey wouldn’t care anyway, because they love Chase and they’re chill like that, but since she doesn’t know the context of the situation at hand, she doesn’t want to get them involved (yet.)

When they enter her room, he sits on the bed and looks down at his hands, fidgeting with them like usual. It’s one of his nervous habits. Chase has been accustomed to never showing his emotions in the realest sense, except for when he’s around her. That’s how he was raised. She sits down next to him, and gently places her hand on his knee, letting him know that she’s there but still not forcing anything out of him. She thinks she hears a soft sniffle when Chase raises his head, removing his hood.

What was underneath is something Gert knows she’ll never forget.

There’s a bruise forming under his right eye, fresh blood still running from the gash on his cheek, peppered with tiny cuts all over his face. She swears she can still see glass in his hair.

She tries her hardest not to react, but she can tell she’s not doing a very good job. Gert can’t take her eyes off him or the blood drying on his lip, which is also swollen. The pain written all over his face, exhuming from his body, is too much for Gert to handle, but she’ll try for him, because she knows he’d do the same.

“My dad...he just lost it, you know? He fucking lost it, and I just so happened to be there, so I was the one he took it out on. Like usual. But it was worse this time Gert. Oh god - I didn’t mean to...to tell you like this. I know we’re always so honest with each other but I was so scared. Scared that if he knew I told...that he would hurt you too.”

Gert can barely breathe. Her suspicions all these years were right. He’d mention here and there how awful his dad was to him and Janet but she never thought...she didn’t know. Oh god, she felt so guilty.

“Chase,” Gert replied breathlessly. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

She reached for his hand and he quickly pushed it away, reaching his hands up to pull off his hoodie instead, revealing the carnage on the rest of his body. Gert couldn’t hold in her gasps any longer. She looked at Chase as the tears began to form in her eyes, lip quivering. Her hand found its way to his chest, soaked in blood. It was a wonder the cuts weren’t deeper, you would have thought by the sight of his white-now-red tank top. Her fingers trailed up and down, trying to take in what she was seeing. She so badly wanted this to be a bad dream, but she knew it was real and that she needed to take action.

“He threw a vase, and then knocked me over into the mirror in our dining room. Then he started throwing punches. I was defenseless. I came over here almost as soon as he gave up and left. My mom’s visiting family, she’s not home, I normally wouldn’t have come here but...I didn’t want to be alone. I was so scared to be in that house even with him gone.”

Gert could feel the pain in his voice. His entire body was still shaking.

"I'm always here. I'm not going anywhere," she replied. He still wouldn't look at her.

Gert placed her hand beneath his chin, lifting it up ever so delicately. "I mean that Chase," she started, "you never have to be alone."

This statement broke his cold exterior. Chase began to cry, sinking into Gert's arms. She ran her fingers through his hair, rubbing his back with her free hand. His body shook from the sobs leaving his body. Gert's sadness for him quickly turned to anger. God, she wanted to fucking MURDER Victor Stein. She'd only seen Chase cry one other time, and that was when he dropped his ice cream that one summer day when it was extremely hot and they were all over tired from playing at the beach all day. That was a tired cry, but this was a real cry. This was the rawest cry she'd ever witnessed. All she could do was be there for him. Finding the words to say became increasingly harder as his cries died down. Gert knew nothing could make this better, she just hoped her comfort could help the tiniest bit.

"Sorry," Chase muttered, pulling away from their embrace, hands still lingering atop of her own. He shook his head, wiping the excess tears from his face. "I'm a mess."

"You're not a mess. There's nothing to be sorry for," Gert said, "and you can cry all you need to. Or scream. Whatever else you need."

He looked at her, a smile finally emerging on his face. God, she thought she'd never see him smile again. "What would I do without you?"

She laughed. They had moments like this often. Borderline romantic. Flirtatious and playful. Gert never knew what they meant, if they had any meaning at all. They had this unspoken thing between the two of them that they never touched on. It was pretty apparent to everyone else that the two had something there, but they never did anything about it. Who knows if they ever would.

Gert took his hand and lead him into the bathroom to clean his cuts. "Nurse Gert to the rescue!" she said, and Chase burst into laughter, which made her heart soar. She really, really loved his laugh, and how it brought his dimples out to play. His dimples were her weakness. He removed his bloodied tank top and threw it in the garbage, and now Gert was alone, in her bathroom, with a shirtless Chase. Right now was not the appropriate time to freak out over this, but she felt her heart speed up and she desperately hoped he wouldn't notice the subtle change in her demeanour. After a few tiny screams (that Chase would never admit to), the dried blood on his body was gone and some of the wounds were covered with bandaids (they were Marvel band aids, which Chase didn't atest to, making sure Captain America was on all of them) but the evidence of the night's tragic events were still there, his black eye still forming. She hated seeing him like this, so vulnerable.

They both left the bathroom, walking back to her bed, and Chase picked up his hoodie, throwing it in Gert's clothes basket. "Just get it back to me when it's clean, okay?"

Gert nodded. He began walking towards the door, and Gert about lost her mind. Did he really think she was going to make him go home? She rushed in front of him, blocking the door. "You can stay here Chase. You're crazy if you think you're leaving this home tonight."

His eyes widened, stunned by her bluntness. "Thank you. I don't know how I'll ever repay you."

"You don't have to. This is friendship, you dweeb. Now get into bed," she ordered, shutting her laptop still open on her desk. There was no way she was finishing her work now, she'd probably end up missing school tomorrow anyway. Perfect attendance and amazing grades didn't matter when someone was in need, especially when that someone was Chase.

"Ooookay mom," he said, getting under the covers of her now occupied bed. Oh my god, a shirtless Chase was in her bed. Gert dreamed of this moment so many times but she never imagined that it would a) ever happen and b) under these circumstances. On any other day, she'd probably just sleep on the floor. But he didn't want to be alone, right? It wouldn't be weird doing it this one time, would it? No, definitely not. Not weird at all.

She turned off the lights in her room and followed suit, crawling in next to him. Gert laid silently, facing the wall, trying so hard to keep her cool, but that was useless once she felt Chase's arms wrap around her abdomen, molding his body around her own. He interlocked their legs and buried his head into her neck. Oh my god, he was cuddling her.

"Is this okay?" he whispered into her ear, sending shivers up her spine. It would seem he could tell she was freaking out. She nodded. "It's okay if it's okay with you," she replied.

"It is. Thank you Gert. Thanks for always saving me," the softness and sincerity in his voice filling the now quiet room.

"Anytime."

She'd worry about that paper tomorrow.

*******

Three.

Honey, I wanna break you / I wanna throw you to the hounds

Gert and Chase were bickering. Again. For the third time that day.

They had been on the road for 5 hours now, in search of an abandoned motel to stay in. To no avail, they weren't having as much luck as they did with the vehicle they stole. They found an old van in an alleyway, keys still in the ignition. Go figure. Whoever was so careless to leave behind something so valuable was now their saving grace. Their hero.

It was Nico's turn to drive, and if this van wasn't filled with people she loved and adored, she'd probably run herself off the road right now. Not because of the fact that they were homeless, without cash, had no food, and that she was exceedingly tired, but because Gert and Chase wouldn't shut up.

She knew about their hookup, and she was the only one who knew that the two of them had admitted that they had feelings for each other. Nico wished they would both buck up and just get it over with already. They were meant to be together since they were four years old.

Apparently everyone knew that except for them. It was exhausting to watch them pick at one another and then see them staring longingly at the other when they weren't looking. That's how things had been ever since the night they ran away, and it got worse every day. They would argue over the stupidest things, one of them would get their feelings hurt, and then they would sulk for the remainder of their long days, refusing to speak to each other. So annoying.

Chase was like a love sick puppy. You could tell all he thought about was Gert. He thought she didn't want him, when Nico knew it was the exact opposite.  Gert, on the other hand, was better at hiding her feelings. She was also going on two weeks without her medication and her outbursts were getting harder to control. Nico had taken it upon herself to calm Gert down when things got bad, but lately even that wasn't working. She was suffering in plain sight and they all knew that, especially Chase. No one knew what to do about it.

Nico felt so badly for her, but she knew that if Gert would just TALK TO CHASE, things might get even the slightest bit better for her. But nope. Every time Nico tries to tell Gert that, Gert lifts a finger or a hand, tells her to shut up, and leaves her alone for the rest of the day.

That's okay though, because Nico has been up to something. She's been planning something for the past few days and everyone else was involved. Except for Gert and Chase, of course.

They just had to find a motel.

---

Hours later, Nico came upon a ratty motel that was still livable. There were still separate room intact and beds to sleep in, with working sewage systems. They could sleep! They could shower! Most importantly, Gert and Chase would finally get to talk! They wouldn't have to be annoyed by their best friends anymore!

The plan was that Alex would get his own room, so he could be on the lookout for the night.  He slept most of the way to the motel anyway, and was already good at all nighters from his many nights of gaming. Old Lace would stay with him to help and to keep him company. Molly, Karolina and Nico would share a room, because Nico wanted to room with Karolina and not Alex, obviously. Somehow,  Alex still had no idea about Karolina and Nico, but that was another thing to deal with on another night. Gert and Chase were the priority. So, it was decided that Molly would stay with Karolina and Nico, so Alex wouldn't suspect anything and so Gert and Chase would be forced to stay in the same room together.   

To no one's surprise, Gert was NOT happy about this idea.

"Why can't Molly just stay with me? She's my sister!" she exclaimed while pacing around the parking lot of the motel.

"Because Gert, I want to stay with Karolina and Nico. Bonding time outside of the van is important," Molly replied, "and no offense, but you snore."

"I DO NOT SNORE!"

The rest of the group struggled to not chuckle as they watched Gert throw the fit they all had anticipated. Chase stood off to the side, trying not to get in the middle of it all, not wanting to make things worse. He knew he wasn't Gert's favorite person at the moment so he didn't want to add fuel to the fire, even though he didn't really know what he ever did to her.

"It's just for one night, Gert. It's not the end of the world," Karolina remarked. Gert huffed and threw her hands in the air.

"I give up."

She picked up her bag and stomped off in the direction towards the designated room her and Chase were assigned. Chase looked around at everyone, bewildered, and followed behind her, keeping his distance.

"Boy is he in for a fun night," Alex said, while everyone else erupted into laughter. They were terrible friends, but it was for their benefit. They'd thank them later.

---

Gert hated her friends. She hated them so much. All the love she had in her heart for them had been poisoned into hate that day. Gert knew they planned this and wanted her to be miserable. Why did her friends have to care so much about what was going on between Gert and Chase? Nothing was going on anyway. They weren't anything at all. They didn’t even act like friends anymore. All they did was fight and disagree. Now she was stuck in a room with just him for a night. Gert couldn't think of anything more torturous than that.

At least there was two beds. They weren't smart enough to check to see if the room had one bed. Gert had one-upped them. She was beating their master plan.

She was sitting on her bed, reading some book she had picked up on one of their thrift store runs. Sometimes in between picking out some new clothes, she would grab a book or two to occupy her time. Her mind was a mess these days, between Chase and not having meds. It was nice to have a distraction every once in a while. Chase was in the shower, and Gert wished he would just sleep in the bathroom. Anything to keep her away from him in such close proximity. She had already showered earlier and was nice enough to not use all the hot water. She wasn't that terrible of a person. They hadn't said a word to each other since they entered the room and Gert assumed it would stay that way until tomorrow. At least she hoped.

Gert was in the middle of flipping a page in her book when the bathroom door opened. "Damn it," she said under her breath, taking a glance up to see a newly cleaned Chase in just a towel.

Steamy, extremely ripped, wet Chase in a towel.

Gert couldn't help but bite her lip. She covered her face with her book, hiding her blushing cheeks. She could feel how red they had gotten. The feelings rushing through her body needed to quit. Now wasn't the time for her hormones to be acting up. There was no time for pleasure, especially in a motel room this small with walls as thin as paper. God. She could feel herself getting warm. Why did Chase have to be so fucking HOT?

She pretended to read her book while he got dressed, sneaking a glance every now and then, hoping he couldn't tell she was peeking at him. And his ass.

Chase had a really nice ass.

Get a hold of yourself girl. That doesn't matter. It was a one time thing. Chill. She kept telling herself that. It's what she's been repeating to herself since that night before they ran away. It was never going to be anything and she needed to remember that. Or at least convince herself to believe that.

She got so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't notice he had already turned off his light and gotten into bed. Gert followed suit, switching her own lamp off and laying her book on the nightstand.

The room was uncomfortably silent and the divide (filled with an abundance of tension) between the two small beds could be cut with a knife.

Neither of them pretended to sleep. That was a useless tactic. They were both insomniacs on the run.

Chase was doing his best to avoid Gert because the last thing he wanted was to fight her again. He was so tired. Tired of running, tired of feeling, tired of pretending like he wasn't irrevocably in love with Gert Yorkes. She was all he thought about and it seemed with every passing day that she hated him more. Gert's anxiety was the worst it had been in years, seemingly because she had no medication, and he hated seeing her hurt. All he wanted to do was protect her, to hold her, to tell her it would all be okay. But no matter what he did or tried, she wouldn't let him in. She continued to push him away more.

Laying in this motel room scared him. He was almost afraid to breathe. Chase felt like that a lot around Gert. Not because she terrified him, but because the love he had for her had taken over his body like a sickness. He had been possessed by her. Her touch haunted him, her laugh echoed in the rare quiet moments they all had. And her kiss...it was all he thought about. He wanted to kiss her again so badly. Not knowing the night at the dance would be the last time he'd ever kiss her was something he wished wasn't his reality.

He didn't sleep much these days and when he did it was because his body couldn't stand being awake anymore. When exhaustion took over, he slept for eternities and dreamed of being with her. Chase knew he wouldn't sleep tonight, and he hated that, because the person he wanted most was less than two feet away from him and he couldn't have her. That was enough to cause never ending insomnia.

Chase wondered what time it was. This room didn't have a clock, go figure, and he had left his watch in the glove compartment of the van. He had nothing to occupy his time, especially in the dark. The moon wasn't even in view. He turned over on his side and of course, Gert was facing the other way. Part of him was relieved, but he was mostly sad.

He remembered their sleepovers as a kid. They always had so much fun together, and at night when they couldn't sleep because they were afraid of the dark, they'd play silent games or sneak off to a bed to sleep in together. They had the most unconventional friendship as children. It was pure and untouchable. But then they got older, and things got in the way. Feelings, fathers, death, fake popularity, and the fact that their parents were murderers. When the group got together again, Chase thought Gert might re-enter his orbit, and the rekindling was there until they fucked it all up. Until he fucked it all up.

They had sex and he wanted more, she didn't, she shut him down and he didn't speak up. He didn't tell her the truth. Chase was always so loyal to Gert. They would tell each other anything, and their few secrets never stayed hidden for long. Before Amy died, Gert was his safe haven, the only person who had never judged him. She knew everything about him and was there for him whenever she needed him. When Gert said it was a one time thing, he reverted back to the young boy who was taught to hide feelings, who was told to never show weakness. He should've told her it wasn't a one time thing that night, but instead Chase let Victor Stein's “Steins don’t show weakness” mantra get into his head at the worst moment. The moment that could've changed everything for the better but instead made everything worse.

He sighed, shutting his eyes, hoping he'd get in at least a few hours of sleep. It was worth a try. But his wish was soon cut off by the sound of a sniffle and slight movement.

"Gert?"

No reply.

Another sniffle. More movement.

A few moments went by before Chase tried again.

"Gert?" he whispered. No response again.

Of course. Damn it! Gert thought Chase was asleep and that he wouldn't hear her. Her stupid emotions caught up to her in this dark room and she had to release. She could only keep things to herself for so long. Her therapist always told her it wasn't good to build up emotions, but what did she know, she'd never been on the run with her friends and the boy she's loved since she was in preschool. She wasn't on the runs without her MEDICATION! So on days when Gert found herself alone, she'd let herself cry so no one would see. Clearly her mind didn't get the memo, because here she was, crying, in a room she shared with him. Chase Stein. The one she wished she could forget. The man she knew wouldn't let her cry softly to herself.

Nico's stupid plan was working. Ugh.

Chase couldn't stand it anymore. He got up from under the covers and crawled into Gert's bed, making sure not to touch her or say a word. It was her decision to react, or push him off the bed. He made his move. The ball was in her court.

Much to his surprise, she turned over to face him, tear stained cheeks and all. She continued to cry as he looked at her, absentmindedly moving a hand to her shoulder.

"I'm so scared," she choked out between sobs. Her crying only began to get worse. Chase hated when Gert cried.

"Everything is terrible. I don't have my meds, we don't have a place to live, Molly misses our parents, I miss my bed, we're probably going to prison, and on top of everything else, you- you're just- you're you. I don't even have you anymore. I have nothing anymore."

Chase’s heart shattered. He moved his hand from her shoulder to her cheek, stroking it gently. "You will always have me, Gert."

She shook her head. "I ruined this. My stupid mouth, my stupid brain..." Gert choked out, "ruined us."

So there was an "us." Chase thought to himself.

"It's not ruined if you don't want it to be. I know I don't want it to be."

Bam.

The truth was out there.

Gert's eyes narrowed. Her heart sped up. It was now or never. Even though Nico will get the satisfaction she desired, this is your only chance. Don't fuck this up, Yorkes.

"I don't want it to be either."

Chase now had both of his hands on her face. In the dark of night, four bright eyes lit up like stars for the first time in what seemed to be an eternity. Their lips naturally found their way to each other, Gert draping her body over Chase's. Soft kisses turned to heated making out, all that built up sexual tension leaving their bodies for the last time. When they were finished, all that kissing (and crying) left them exhausted.

So of course they slept in the same bed. "No need to separate when our body heat can keep each other warm," Gert had said.

Nico's plan had worked. And Gert would never tell her, but god was she thankful her best friend was as conniving as her. She'd tell her someday.

Maybe at the wedding.

*******

Four.

We don’t have forever / Baby daylight’s wasting / You better kiss me / Before our time is run out

At the hostel, Gert and Chase decided to share a room. There wasn't a reason for them to separate. They figured no matter what, they'd end up in the same bed by the end of the night anyway. Instead, Old Lace got her own room to chill in. She loved it, especially when she needed her space away from the humans. Dinosaurs have feelings too, you know. Most nights, though, she ended up sleeping in their room, on Chase's side.

Ever since Gert and Chase got their shit together, Lace had warmed up to Chase. She's always wanting to lay on Chase or play with him. Gert thinks it's adorable, Nico thinks it's crazy that Gert's feelings are so intense for Chase that they've spread to her dinosaur, and Molly is sad that she's not Lace's favorite anymore. "Lace has more than one favorite, Molly. She loves you," Gert remembers to tell her every so often. Molly has lost so much of her innocence already, Gert won't let her lose anything else.

Their bed is the biggest in the house, not because they're a couple, because so are Karolina and Nico, but because some nights Molly would sleep with them too. Originally they had a smaller bed, but on their first night in the hostel Molly got scared and ended up sneaking into their bed. Chase woke up that morning with a full head of curly hair covering his face.

It was cute, how Molly had taken to Chase. They always had an interesting bond and Chase had always seen her as a little sister, but in some ways he had now taken on the paternal role in her life. He disciplined her, gave her chores to do, and would read to her every night before bed. It had become part of his daily routine, he told Gert, and he loved doing it. They also strength trained together every day with nonsensical house items, which brought them even closer.

Gert loved how much Chase loved Molly, and how much he loved her dinosaur. But mostly she really loved Chase. She really, really loved Chase.

And he knew it.

It happened that one spectacular night, when Molly was fast asleep in her own room. They laid cuddling in their own bed, clothes scattered everywhere on the floor, their bodies intertwined. Chase was mindlessly playing with Gert's hair, which she loved. She was basking in their glow, fingers trailing up and down his chest. He placed a kiss on the top of her hair, which was much longer now and hadn't been properly dyed in month. Chase made a mental note that they'd have to get hair dye on their next grocery run. Gert would never speak up about needing anything, because lately luxuries don't come easy to them, but that doesn't mean he can't get it for her. There wasn't any way she'd flip out as much as she did when he snuck off to get her meds. Chase really thought Gert was going to murder him in cold blood that night. He couldn't stand to see her suffer anymore, so him and Alex came up with the perfect plan so that Chase could get into the Yorkes' home to find her meds and leave. Everyone else approved, except for Gert, who was unaware of the night's events (which went off without a hitch!) until she woke up the next day to Chase holding a bag out in front of her, which contained her meds and a few other things from her bedroom, including her super old stuffed dinosaur that she slept with until they ran away. She threw the bag at him and berated him for two hours, telling him he was foolish and that she wasn't worth the risk. Over and over Chase reiterated that she was, that this wasn't a mindless mission because her health was at risk, and that he would do anything for her just to make her happy. Eventually she gave in, told him thank you, and promised that if he ever did anything like this again that there would be hell to pay.

Ever since then, things had been so much better. Gert's anxiety was under control and they were living in permanent bliss, just like they were right now.

"Chase?"

"Yeah, babe?"

Gert looked up at him, pausing for a second, as if she was finding the right words or the courage to speak.

"I love you."

I know, Chase thought. But this wasn't the time for a Star Wars reference.

Gert was the first to say it. THIS was huge.

He smiled at her and kissed the tip of her nose.

"I love you too."

*******

Yours was the first face that I saw / I think I was blind before I met you

Gert and Chase had met for the first time when they were four. Wide-eyed and overall clad, with light up sneakers and pigtails. They grew up together, going through every awkward stage together. Best friends forever. They had the greatest group of friends and they had each other. Every heartbreak, every serious injury, every life event. All the school concerts, the sports games, school plays. They lived through it all side by side. When Amy died, they drifted apart, but it didn't take long for them to find another again, but then unthinkable happened. Their parents were murderers, one thing lead to another, and soon they found themselves on the run.

But they weren't alone.

Gert had Chase and Chase had Gert.

They had loved one another since they were little, but those childhood crushes had blossomed into a full blown relationship. A very serious relationship. They said I love you for the first time naked in their bed after mind blowing sex. Nothing about them was conventional. At the time, they literally lived in an underground mansion that could collapse at any time. Normal didn’t exist anymore.

Being in such close quarters for so long intensified their relationship. They fought hard, but loved harder. Every day brought a new milestone for them. Things were moving fast.

The night Gert almost died changed everything for them. It happened during the final battle between their parents. They had just defeated Jonah when he had one final punch left, targeting Gert with his wrath. Karolina was caught off guard, and came to Gert’s defense too soon. She still blames herself today, even though Gert is very much alive and healthy. Nico healed her after everything had finally ended. Chase kissed her harder than he ever had in his life as she came back to him in his arms.

None of it seemed real. Jonah was gone, Gibborim was done with, and their never ending nightmare was over.

They were free to live normal lives again, if they even knew what that meant. Living on the run changes you as a person and their perception of life had changed so much over time. Freedom felt like a blessing and a curse. They had to learn how to live again.

For Chase, he knew what he had to do almost immediately. Just the thought of living life without Gert shocked him into overdrive. He proposed outside the hostel with one of Nico's old rings, and promised her he'd get a better one eventually. She accepted and said he didn't have to, that she would've accepted a ring pop.

They vowed to enroll at school (because they had already gotten their GEDS since they never graduated) and get jobs before the wedding. After they both got accepted to their dream schools, they used their savings to buy a home and got stable jobs (Gert worked as a receptionist, Chase surprisingly got a job as a nanny - kids really took to him.)

They got married at the end of summer.  It was a very intimate wedding and they only invited the core group. Old Lace was their flower girl, at Chase's request. Molly was the maid of honor, and Nico was the officiant. She swears she didn't ,but she cried the whole time. They spent their honeymoon at home, deciding that they had already spent so much time away and that they would rather spend an entire week off of school and work eating bad food and watching TV, with lots of sex in between.

Years went by and things slowly but surely got back to normal. Gert and Chase got into a good daily routine, and no matter how busy their days are, they always make time for each other. They still live in the small house they bought straight out of the hostel in Los Angeles. They’re as in love as they were when they were teens. Old Lace still lives in the basement. They have a cat now and her name is Jane. Both having graduated from college, they now have steady jobs, and they’re both doing the things they love. Chase is a science teacher and Gert works as a mental health counselor. She never imagined herself as one but life lead her there, and she loves helping people who are experiencing the same thing she still lives through every day. Who would’ve thought Gert and Chase would’ve ended up being so content? Life seemed so dark and pointless for the two for so long. They imagined they’d be on the run forever. Now they’re here, living their dreams, loving each other day in and day out. They’re in their late twenties and they’re happy. Everything is great. That, is until, Gert realizes she is late. Very, very late. Work had gotten so hectic lately, and it was the holiday season, so when she wasn’t working she was Christmas shopping, or at a Christmas party. She had lost track of time. It was a week before Christmas when she bought a pregnancy test and the results weren’t surprising: A big fat positive. She took four more to make sure, and yep, she was very much pregnant. Right before Chase got home that day, she vomited twice, and she wasn’t sure if that was pregnancy induced sickness or just nerves - or both. They had talked about having children recently and they were both on board with having at least one. Chase loved kids and wanted to be a father, very much so. Gert wanted to be a mom, but anxieties and fears ate away at her whenever she was faced with questions about having her own children. She didn’t want to ruin her kid’s life the way her parents had destroyed her own. It was a topic brought up a lot in her own therapy sessions. That night, Gert sat Chase down and showed him all five tests. He cried, of course, overjoyed with the idea of finally having a kid of his own. He kissed Gert so much that night, and there was much sex that was had. The next day they called Karolina and Nico, who were surprised but couldn’t wait to be the best gay aunts to their future niece or nephew. Alex was next, who started sobbing on the phone when he found out, which surprised Gert. Alex and Chase had gotten extremely close over time, and they were best bros now. He couldn’t wait to be an uncle. Molly found out over their weekly family dinner, and she was so happy. Gert was scared to tell her, since they were both so close and she didn’t want her to feel replaced or jealous, but she was genuinely happy for them. The pregnancy went as smooth as possible and Gert felt really lucky. Her morning sickness wasn’t terrible and there were no complications. They found out early on that they were having a girl, which they were both happy about. Chase couldn’t wait to have four girls in the house: Gert, Old Lace, Jane the cat, and the baby. He was glad to be seemingly outnumbered for life. Of course, since Gert’s pregnancy went so well, that meant her impending labor was cursed. At least that’s what she told herself. And oh man, was she right. She went into labor early, during a session, because of course. Her water broke all over her patient’s shoes. She was MORTIFIED. Chase was at work, teaching summer school classes, and had to leave during their big exam. Gert was taken to the hospital in an ambulance, which she HATED. She kept screaming about how blown out of proportion this was, how it wasn’t necessary, how she could have driven herself, and so on. When she got to the hospital, she spent the first few hours of labor alone, because Chase got stuck in terrible LA traffic. He ran into her room completely frazzled, his hair everywhere, tie undone. Thankfully he didn’t miss much. Gert was in labor for over 24 hours, because being just like her mother, their baby had to make her first appearance a dramatic one.   When finally she came into the world, she had a wild set of lungs on her and a shit ton of hair. She looked like the perfect mixture of the two of them; Gert hoped she would have Chase’s dimples. They named her Katherine Elizabeth, simply because they liked the name. She’s a few hours old now, and Gert is getting some well deserved sleep in her hospital bed. Chase, on the other hand, is sat in the chair next to her bed, holding his daughter. This is a moment he thought would never come. For a while, when he was a teen, he swore off having children. There was no way he would be a father after the way his own raised him. The emotional and physical scars Victor Stein left behind were lifelong markers he would never get rid of, but he did his best to move past them. When he and Molly got closer in the hostel, he realized how well he worked with kids and that he was nothing like his father. He was the complete opposite. He was a nanny during college to two amazing children and went to school to become a teacher. If you can’t tell, he really likes kids. His ingrained fears of fatherhood came back to haunt him around Gert’s 8th month of pregnancy. He didn’t sleep well for weeks and when he did he would have nightmares. One night Gert found him wide awake on the couch at 3 am. She had woken up to pee and heard the sounds of Friends coming from the living room. Sitting next to him, she waited patiently for him to open up to her about whatever was troubling him, because he wasn’t the type to be up at 3 am on a Sunday (or on any day for that matter.) Chase finally admitted to Gert that he was scared, and she told him she was too. Many tears were shed and they agreed everything would be okay because they had each other. Like always. He doesn’t remember the last time he and Gert didn’t sleep in the same bed. They had quite literally been inseparable since the day they got together. But right now, he just can’t seem to tear himself away from the little angel sleeping in his arms. The tiny human they had both created. So now he sits in this not so comfy chair, in clothes that reek of sweat. He hasn’t slept in days. It’s okay though, because right now, none of that matters. He’d catch up on sleep another day.

#gert yorkes #chase stein #gertchase #marvel's runaways #runaways #runaways fic #mine #AHHHHH I'M SO NERVOUS