#‘don’t take advantage of my trusting nature like this’

[star-girl69]

i think aphrodite kid reader x clarisse is simply just better??? like the trope is just superior??? like, we have clarisse who is tough, and mean and one of the strongest people at camp, then we have reader who is kind and compassionate and really doesn’t care all that much about fighting. so naturally, clarisse is super protective and treats reader like a princess?? how could people dislike it 😔😔

no exactly and i actually must write about this - basically this is just all about the little things clarisse does for her perfect princess angel daughter of aphrodite gf (me!!!!!!)

okay as payment for my absence please accept some shitty headcanons I LOVE YOU ALL BYEEEE

she’s just always DOING THINGS FOR YOU

she’s so perceptive and she always knows exactly what you want and need even if you don’t know it yourself

like if you like wearing high heels one) clarisse genuinely wonders what is wrong w you

she sees no practicality in them bc there isn’t lol

but also she’s like omg???? MY GF feels safe enough around me to wear shoes she can’t run in???? WHAT JOY!!!!!!!!!

and you’ll come back to your cabin being all ugh omg my feet hurt so bad laying on the bed and putting your feet UP

and clarisse is like “well i could have told you that”

excuse me????

“don’t get me wrong baby you look gorgeous and i love you wearing heels but it’s your funeral”

“DIE”

she just laughs and takes your shoes off

she’ll continue to bully you as she’s literally massaging your feet like ok girl yeah we see you

clarisse is also a MENACE about making sure you eat

“did you eat today?”

“babe you SAW me at lunch”

“just making sure….”

you’re just so kind and amazing and clarisse loves you so much but you are not the best at fighting!

she is constantly stressed when you’re not by her side

bc no one loves you like her who will protect you 💔💔💔💔

when someone takes advantage of you she gets so PISSED OFF

bc it’s not like someone is beating you up it’ll be like someone is using you as their personal therapist or smth and you’re just like “pls go speak to an actual professional wtf 😭😭😭”

and she’s so pissed off bc WHY IS THIS BITCH PSYCHOLOGICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY TORTURING HER GIRL??????

she’s not afraid to beat people up for you and actually enjoys it!

anyways, clarisse is also a koala bear

and an emotionally stunted caveman

she’s not good with her words so these actions are all she has to show you that she loves you

idk if y’all have noticed but clar rarely saying ily to y/n bc it’s my personal headcanon that she has such a hard time saying those words. she shows you she loves you but for some reason it’s just so hard to get the words out. (…BC SHE IS AN EMOTIONALLY STUNTED CAVEMAN)

so she quickly adapts to do all these little things

if you’re walking down a flight of stairs trust she is holding your hand

QUEEN of opening jars for you

if you’re not feeling well or you’re tired or just feeling lazy she’ll bully someone into doing your chores for you

also this bitch is NOT afraid to stand up for you and make sure you get what you deserve.

like that one meme

“UM… she said NO PICKLES… you fucking dumbasses…”

“CLARISSE 😭😭😭”

also like in “better than revenge” she loves to watch you do your makeup

finds it so fascinating that you can only get PRETTIER

like she’s okay at makeup but you can do that shit perfectly like standing on your head

you make it seem so effortless

she’s not a HUGE makeup girly but sometimes she’ll let you just go crazy

so you can sit on top of her….. that one sapphic meme yes…..

also she’s constantly bragging about you

“yeah… i have the prettiest gf in camp… y’all are just losers what can i say”

ofc if anyone were to agree w her she would go insane

“yeah y/n is so pretty”

“um ok yeah you don’t have to say it i say it enough….”

even if one of your siblings gives you a compliment she’s like HOLD THE FUCK ON- then she remembers THATS YOUR SIBLING ITS OK and she’s like oh this is so embarrassing.

will she stop? no ofc not

she’s constantly telling you how pretty you are. beautiful. gorgeous. exquisite. all the words

loves kissing you all over

KISSES YOUR HAND 🤭🤭

anyways going back to the clarisse koala bear agenda that got away from me

she’s just always touching you

hand on the small of your hand guiding you somewhere

hand around your waist

SITTING IN HER LAP AT CAMPFIRES

no matter what type of hair you have she’s obsessed w it. if you have pin straight hair she’s so obsessed w the fact that you don’t need a huge curl routine like her, finds it fascinating

if you do have curls she loves doing a curl routine together

whatever whatever type of hair you have she’s obsessed with it and will wash it for you if you want

so soft and lovingly like a more of a scalp massage than a hair washing

will brush your hair for you, braid it for you, anything you like just OBSESSED

she loves when you like sit on top of a picnic table and then she gets to sit in between your legs on the bench thinks it’s so so fun and so so silly

she LOVESSSSS sleeping w you OBVI.

on top of you, you on top of her, she’s a koala bear. like entirely wrapped around you

partially bc she is as aforementioned a koala bear and partly bc she is overprotective even in her sleep

if you move in the middle of the night even just a little bit

she’s a super light sleeper i feel like

always on the guard fr ✊

a little bit better when you’re there tho

so if you move in the middle of the night she’ll just like caress your hair and kiss your cheek and try to shush you back to sleep

like bitch you’re still asleep have you never heard of ADJUSTING? MOVING? SHIFTING?

hope you’re not one of those people who has to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night bc with clarisse that will stop

you can’t abandon her even for 2 minutes even for basic bodily functions like you just can’t it’s so inconsiderate to her… 💔

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1

#clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse la rue x you #pjo tv show #pjo x reader

[stuckinapril]

what red flags should i look for in a man?

I actually feel like I’m a good person to ask this question, not bc I’ve had a long healthy relationship or anything, but bc I’ve humored walking red flags way more than I should’ve lmao. Btw this list doesn’t go for just men. It can apply to man, woman, or any human being across the board. Ok so:

When someone tells you they’re not ready for a relationship, BELIEVE THEM. Idc what the reason is. Idc if it’s bc they aren’t that into you or if they have shit going on. They just told u straight up. Appreciate that and just leave. Please. For me.

Piggybacking off that point—listen to people when they tell you who they are in general!!! This was a major 2023 lesson for me. People self-report all the time, whether it be friends or romantic interests. Most people are legitimately incapable of hiding who they really are. Pay attention. Do not ignore the signs, however small. I could’ve saved myself so much trouble if I didn’t just pretend Not to See.

Not consoling you when you need it because “they’re not good with emotions.” This is just an excuse for being lazy. They just don’t wanna put the work into being there for you properly—especially if you’ve already gone through the trouble of communicating this to them.

People who talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. Actions over words. Actions over words always.

Fuck overextended talking stages. If you wanna know more about me, let’s plan something in person. Otherwise you run the risk of getting attached to someone who’s possibly nothing like how they actually are in front of you.

If you’re having to “communicate” extensively with a person like a month in, as in there are lots of miscommunications and misunderstandings and things you don’t like about them or they don’t like about you, I’d probably just drop it. I learned this the hard way last year after burning through a lot of friendships where I found that we didn’t know each other that long at all, but there was already a plethora of problems to work through. This can apply to relationships just as well. If you’re asking a person to change this early in, or they’re asking you to change this early in, it’s probably just not a match.

Mostly talking about themselves. Not asking you anything about yourself in return. Ew.

It takes months to actually know a person’s true nature. That’s typically around the time people start showing their true colors. Ik a lot of people choose to commit like a month in, so just take that as u will.

Fucking competing with you. People who’re incapable of just being happy for other people without inserting themselves into it are insufferable. Immediate next.

This isn’t conscious behavior, and all of us are guilty of it, but people have an innate habit of taking advantage of your fantasies. If they know you’re desperate for their attention, they’ll get lazy (even if they don’t realize it). If they know they’re the object of your desire, they will leverage that to get your benefits without putting in the work. This is like playing cards and immediately showing someone your hand. Do not do that. This isn’t “playing hard to get”—it’s just guarding yourself until you’re sure you can trust the other person.

Not always the case, but a lot of times the way someone’s last relationship ended is pretty telling for how yours will go. ESPECIALLY if they’re not at all remorseful about how the last one went down, lol. You’re not the exception.

People are busy and taking a while to respond is O.K., but if it’s a continuous pattern of them taking forever to reply, it’s probably just a matter of priorities (and you’re not theirs). Sorry.

Pls take the ego out of the talking stage and recognize that love bombing is not flattering. I’ve reprogrammed my brain to where any time someone is doing way too much like three seconds in, I get the ick. I’ve legit dropped guys over this. It’s such a red flag to me. They either don’t have a life, or just are a natural love bomber (who will overwhelm you w compliments and attention only to fizzle out just as quickly), or they know exactly what they’re doing and they’re playing to your ego. Whichever it is, ick. Big ick.

The way they talk about other people is a major tell. This goes for friends and romantic interests. I think a bit of gossip will always be unavoidable, but if someone is liberally trash-talking other people—ESPECIALLY EX-FRIENDS OR EX-PARTNERS—you could literally be next. Anyone who thrives off badmouthing other people / hating on others / just generally not giving others grace doesn’t have exceptions. You’re their focus for now. It could just as easily be you tomorrow.

#it’s fucking rough out there. take care #ask #r

[andvenuscried]

toxic!anakin skywalker hcs

↳ description box; small collection of nsfw drabbles for anakin x reader; i love my insane pookie

warnings; nsfw warnings; basically anakin is absolutely crazy, deranged and utterly obsessed with you. insane psychos are so hot bUT THIS BEHAVIOUR IS NOT TO BE ROMANTICISED!! and also minors dni

has an unhealthy habit of always checking your phone. he has a physical need to know who you’re talking to and why—that coworker named joseph you’re talking to? yeah, he CLAIMS to want to discuss your work schedule, but anakin’s so sure he wants to take advantage of you. and because anakin’s so smart and knows everything better than you do, you should just trust him and let him delete his number. and the number of every guy you have saved on your phone. but since anakin’s so smart, he’s surely right!!

he NEEDS everyone to know you’re taken and that you’re his. he’ll always have an arm slung around your shoulder casually, his hand resting at your hip, his fingers intertwined with yours or you wearing clothes that are obviously his (he really likes you in his clothes!!). but sometimes, that’s not enough, and he knows it’s pathetic but he literally can’t stand seeing you with any other guy except him. so sometimes, necessities like pretty bruises on your neck or marks on your chest are needed. he’s just letting everyone know you’re his, you wouldn’t object to that… right??

he can and he WILL stalk you. what, you’re going out without him? to go clubbing?? with your friends??? at NIGHT????

he can’t just possibly let you do that, he literally can’t stand the thought of even a mere possibility of you getting hurt somehow, it genuinely hurts his heart because how will he survive without you? you’re his world, and he’ll do anything to keep you. he just cares about you so much :(

anakin definitely has problems with sharing you with your friends, especially your male friends, and you’re so grateful he’s letting you talk to your female friends you’re not even considering talking to your guy friends again. oh, he looks out for you so much, awww

he’s a master manipulator and a professional gaslighter. all of your friends hate him, and are telling you to break him with him because he’s “toxic and obsessive”. baby, he’s not!! he’s just jealous sometimes and just very protective :( it makes him so sad every time you bring this up because why’re you trusting your friends over him? he’s the one you should trust the most, isn’t he? does that mean you don’t love him anymore?

needs your attention 24/7, all the time. he absolutely hates being separated from you, and even in his sleep, it’s like he won’t let go of you. he’ll always have an arm draped over your body, or his hands hooked on your waist. anakin is a naturally light sleeper, so he’ll wake up every time you get up—be it to use the bathroom or when you’re leaving for work. if everything went his way, he’d never let you leave him.

definitely thinks about locking you up in his big mansion. you’re so pretty he can’t stand the lingering gaze of other guys checking you out. he wishes he could be the only one to see your beauty.

likes to be in control and to be in charge of every situation regarding you. he knows he’s very intense in everything he does. that’s why he’s so grateful you put up with all his needs, but anakin is a very sceptical and careful person, he needs to know where you are and who you’re with—it’s no surprise he persuaded you to have your location on at all times. for your safety, he claims, and for his easement.

absolutely gets off on the height difference between you. you’re smaller than him, and he loved how cutely tiny you look next to him—and how you look when he uses you as his fleshlight!!

loves having you all submissive and obedient. his favourite positions are every one in which he can look at you, he loves seeing small tears forming in your eyes, loves you looking up at him in adoration, all trapped and utterly defenceless in his toned arms, mewling and gasping, moaning his name. especially loves when you’re sucking his cock, all pretty and desperate beneath him. just the way he likes you best.

why are you working? he makes enough money to provide for you AND a child; he has a house and a car. what do you need more? he knows you like your job, but he’d rather have you at home at all times. where you’re safe.

spoils you so much. he’ll buy you pretty clothes, sparkly jewellery, expensive shoes and anything else you want, he’d buy you an entire country if you asked him to. it’s not about flaunting his money or wealth or anything, he just gets off seeing you wearing stuff and knowing that he paid for it, so essentially, you’re walking around with his clothes.

for your birthday, he gifted you the cutest and most beautiful necklace!! if only you knew about the tracker inside it. he knows he has your location and you’re such a good girl for him he’s sure you’d never turn it off, but… just in case. (he’s lowkey paranoid)

if he could, he would carve his initials on you. (possessive much?)

but since you’d be hurt and he doesn’t like seeing you cry, he’s tried convincing you of getting a tattoo on your collarbone with his initials, and he’ll get one with your initials on his hip bone. you’re scared to death of needles though :( he’ll have to work on that for a while, but he knows he can get you to do anything for him with the right method and the right time.

has thought excessively and extensively about knocking you up. he knows you wouldn’t ever leave him if you were pregnant with his baby, god bless your sweet, kind and loving soul, and he loves to have that reassurance. so when condoms start to accidentally break, he accidentally forgets to wear one in the heat of the moment and he just can’t stop thrusting his load into you, you should’ve known those were not accidents.

but it’s too late now, anyway, you’re trapped, so you might as well just enjoy being trapped by him forever :)

“keep those legs open for me, doll. you can do that f’me, can’t you?” he mutters against your lips hoarsely, and you’re crying of the overstimulation.

“can’t,” you sniffle and your legs tremble adorably, “ani, ‘s too much… ‘s too much, i can’t…”

his gaze hardens, “you can and you will.”

#toxic anakin #anakin skywalker #obsessive anakin #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker x reader smut #anakin x you #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #anakin smut #star wars smut #star wars anakin #star wars #sub anakin #anakin imagine

[redwineandtarot]

your talents

hi! today's pac is all about your talents! as people we are so diverse so not all of your talents may be in this reading. however i hope this helps you discover yourself more! take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. i would love to hear your feedbacks <3

🥀paid readings🥀

Disclaimer: My readings do NOT replace any professional advice. Use your own judgment while making decisions. You have your own free will. Take everything I say light-heartedly. All of my readings are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.

pick a pile

piles 1-2

3-4

i do not own these pictures

pile 1

You are great at giving people honest and genuine advice. You make people see parts of themselves that they may have not seen before, good or bad. 

You may be great with finances. Or have the potential to be, if you learned more about it. You could study finances or economics. Don't have to, but you may still learn a bit about this topic. I think this will benefit you. (I am not a financial advisor or professional, this is just what cards are telling me!)

Being some sort of a teacher/advisor may suit you well too. Economics professor just came through but you could also be a dance teacher, therapist etc. Just something where you help people broaden their visions. 

You are great with new beginnings. You know how to make something blossom. You are also great with endings.

What I am seeing is you can materialize any interest of yours. Like maybe you want to learn guitar or learn how to cook, you can become quite good at them(to be more specific anything you want). Also this applies to material gains. The world is your oyster, I heard your guides say. 

Some of you may be talented at fashion. Whether it is designing or just making great outfits in daily life. 

You are also great at thinking ahead and planning. 

You are probably at peace with your shadow self or you are on the way to be. 

You have an earthy vibe to you. Your self confidence and calmness makes you a great manifestor. You could also be great at meditation, yoga etc. Anything that makes you connect with the universe and yourself more. 

Messages from spirit:

You still have full autonomy regarding ‘it’. “Nothing is yet set in stone.” You have a lot of potential.

You may need to release something. What is it? Think about this if you don’t know. Because deep down you know it.

thank you for reading <3

pile 2

I see a strong emphasis on your beauty. You could be / have the potential to be a model. Regardless, you are attractive and you may use this to your advantage. I am not saying you inherently have bad intentions. You are just good at charming people and getting what you want. You also probably would do great at things that require you to be in the spotlight. 

You are great at saving money.

You are a great fighter and a diligent person. You are persistent with what you want. Even if the situation seems hopeless. You find a way to make it work. And this usually gets you where you want to be (or even better places) in life. 

You know how to balance things in life. It just comes naturally to you. You know sometimes life does not evolve the way we want. And you trust the universe even in these times. You know you can get your ideas to real life even in the darkest times. 

Your words are powerful. You could use words to manifest. You could also be a writer of some sort (book writer, lyrics writer etc.). 

You may be great with plants, flowers or you may be good at biology. 

The numbers 8 and 6 might be significant.

You are good at dealing with emotions. You are an emotionally intelligent person.

You have natural talents to share your wisdom and your talents. You could benefit from being some sort of a teacher or a performer. Someone people watch.

You have a great understanding of life. The occult and history might be suitable fields of search for you. (I’m especially getting Egyptian mythology.)    

Messages from spirit:

You might be holding onto something out of pride. For most of you this is something from the past that you cannot let go of. 

Look at your situation from a different perspective. People who you deem wrong may be right.

thank you for reading <3

pile 3

You have a natural ability to lead and gather people. Whether for a cause or a project. In your work field or in a hobby that you do, you may pave the way for some sort of thing. For example you may start a new way of doing things, or you may be the first to do something in your hometown etc. 

You may have a talent for singing and/or public speaking. This also ties in with leadership because a good leader should also be good at speaking. Even if you lead a small group of people, good communication is key in my opinion.

You are also good at ending conflicts and finding the middle ground. 

You are also great at comforting people. You can transmute people’s worries. And you are also a great friend. You friends value you a lot.

You can tackle a lot at once. For example you can do modeling, studying, working at a part-time job all at once. Or if it’s just one job you can do different elements of it. Like youtubers; they film, edit and advertise their videos on their own. As a continuation of this, I see that you are a multi-talented person. 

I see you handling fast-paced life well. And this is because after all this running around you know how to come back to yourself and sit still. Maybe you do yoga, meditation, or any type of mindful activity.

When you love something, you also have a GREAT passion for it. This makes you also stand out at what you love. You can do the hard work for what you want.

By harnessing all of these talents of yours, you can achieve great success (whatever success is to you).

You have great spiritual protection around you. From your guides.

Messages from spirit:

You may meet a soulmate(platonic or romantic) or a romantic partner of yours soon. Or you may enter a phase of your life in which you’ll meet your romantic soulmate. For most of you it's the latter. And for this, spirit wants you to hold on to your visions.

thank you for reading <3

pile 4

You have a youthful energy to you. You spread happiness to those around you. You give them energy. While you have youthful energy, I see you as a wise person. You have an immense intellect. You could have gone through some hardships but you got to the other side with great strength and important lessons. Despite this you protected your child-like spirit. Your inner-child feels safe and heard with you.

You have a great imagination. Your dream world is probably pretty big. I get neptune-ish vibes from you. I heard that you may be a poet, if not I suggest you give it a shot. If you do not like poems, you can do other things that get you to use your imagination and emotions. Because I see a great potential in you. 

Some of you may be life path 22 or 7. Even if not, your life path is important for you.

You probably have a close bond with spirit. You are a great manifester. Despite your lighthearted energy, I see that you may have an interest in the occult. 

You have a talent for dancing.

You could also do well in areas where you need to have a quick wit. I hear politics for some of you. The term “crazy like a fox” applies to you. 

Despite appearing playful, you are pretty grounded. Even some of you may not realize this. You just need to work on it a bit more maybe.

You are graceful in the things you do.

Messages from spirit:

The thing you are asking for is within your reach! However while working towards it, you need both spiritual and practical effort for it. (Spiritual effort may be visualizing it for 5 minutes every day, etc.)

thank you for reading <3

#tarot #tarot reading #pac #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #intuitive reading #intuitive readings #divination

[water-to-drink]

So this is Life on the Outside

(Pairing): yan!Zhongli x sheltered!gn!reader

(Summary): After spending many years sheltered from the outside world you take your first steps into unfamiliar territory and meet someone who seems to be trustworthy

(Warnings): NSFW, death (not reader’s or Zhongli), reader is very naive (and Zhongli takes advantage of that), dub-con, praise kink, rough sex (at the end though), overstimulation (at the end too)

(A/n): I’m fucking sick with a cold and it fucking sucks, so I wrote this to try to focus on something other than my cold, btw this is my second smut fic, (and let me know if there’s any gendered language here)

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚꒷꒦˚︶꒦꒷ ♡ ꒷꒦︶˚꒦꒷˚꒦꒷︶꒷꒦︶︶˚ ꒦꒷

The world was a big scary place, that notion was thrilled into your head for as long as you can remember

You only knew someone personally and it was your Nana. She was the only person you had in this world and it appears it was the same for her

She would tell you that people were not to trusted and that you’ll only get hurt in the end, because of this you rarely went outside and didn’t question it. Being the only person you truly had a connection it was absolutely devastating when she died, leaving you alone

When you had to fend for yourself which meant going outside and you were dumbfounded when it wasn’t the hellscape she described. You walked to the marketplace taking in the sights you’ve been denied from seeing. After reaching your destination you realized how much you didn’t know. You didn’t know how money works nor where it came from

Dejected you decided to cut your loses until a strong hand rested on your shoulder

“Excuse me, but would you like for me to help you?”

You turned your head and saw a much older man with brown hair and golden eyes. He looked friendly enough so you accepted. You learned that his name is Zhongli and works at a funeral parlor, whatever that is

He offered you a meal at a restaurant, which you gladly accepted. The restaurant had food you never heard of before and they had so many options, it all overwhelmed you.

“Mr. Zhongli what should I get?

“I usually get the bamboo shoot soup, is that what you’re going to order?”

“Yep, you look very smart so I can trust you!” You said, your naivety showing through

As the day went on you told Zhongli about your life and there was something that showed up in his eyes that your innocent nature couldn’t decipher

After the meal was over he walked you home on the excuse of there being “dangerous people out at night and he’s someone you can trust.” You missed the hungry stares he would throw at you, especially towards your thighs and waist

“Thank you for walking me home, goodnight Mr. Zhongli.”

“You almost forgot something.”

“What is it?”

“A kiss, it’s customary to give one to people you’re close to. You don’t want to come off as rude, do you?”

You quickly gave him a kiss on the cheek, the same one you would give to Nana, it was meant to be friendly. And you didn’t want to disappoint Mr. Zhongli, and he seemed to be satisfied with your kiss

“Have a goodnight.” He smiled

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚꒷꒦˚︶꒦꒷ ♡ ꒷꒦︶˚꒦꒷˚꒦꒷︶꒷꒦︶︶˚ ꒦꒷

The two of you were close after that. Zhongli would accompany you on strolls around Liyue harbor and tell you the history of it.

Nana told you to stay far away from older people, men especially. She always said they can’t be trusted but never told you why, but Mr. Zhongli is different

He always makes sure you get the best deals on items, he helps you carry your groceries to your house, you trust him completely

You trust him so much that you didn’t bat an eye when he offers for you to stay with him and sleep in his bed with him, there’s nothing wrong with sharing a bed with him, right?

He’s so sweet and smart too, he tells you everything he knows about Liyue’s history. He even shows you priceless artifacts he has, you love how smart he is and how he teaches you things other than history

“Like this?” You held your legs open just as you were instructed

“Yes, like that.” He said as he pressed his cock against your hole

The feeling of him entering your walls felt foreign. Halfway in and it almost felt it was to much for you, but he told you it will eventually start to feel good. He finally fully sheathed his cock all the way in your gummy walls. After a while the stretch soon started to feel good, just like he said

“Your doing so well.” He praised as he wiped tears you didn’t know were there. “I’m going to start moving, is that okay?”

You nodded and he slowly began thrusting, the small mewls and whimpers grew into moans as his pace quickened

Zhongli took your left leg from your grip and threw in over his shoulder, getting deeper than before. You looked up at his concentrated face, like he was looking for somethi-

“Nnhhggg!”

A grin appears on the man’s face, he grabs your waist with both hands and starts to abuse that sweet spot

Archons, it felt so good~! Your eyes rolls to the back of your head and your tongue was out of your mouth

“You look you adorable all fucked out like this.” Zhongli’s words of praise went straight to your core, tightening around his cock. “You love it when I praise you, huh angel?”

You weakly nodded, your functions too muddled to form proper words. Too focused on the feeling of his cock dragging through your wall, you didn’t notice how his thrust became more sloppier

Zhongli reached down and captured your mouth in a heated kiss all the while thrusting into you with such fervor, you feel yourself on the verge of passing out

“That’s it, angel. Take my cock just how I taught you!” He said into your ear

With a few more thrust you came with a loud moan. As you fell limp Zhongli thrusted wildly completely disregarding any semblance of control how you lay limp. After a couple of harsh thrusts the man finishes deep inside you

A sigh let out of his lungs as he stood straight to admire you

Legs twitching from oversimulation, your entrance stuffed full with both his cock and cum, and you fucked out expression

He can feel his cock getting hard again, you seem to be coherent enough to go another round

#genshin impact smut #genshin smut #yandere genshin #genshin x reader #yandere zhongli #yandere zhongli x reader #zhongli smut #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin smut

[jamsandsuch]

advice for first year uni students from a uni senior

the roommate(s) will always be more important than the room

+ for roommates, SET. CLEANING. EXPECTATIONS. EARLY. don't wait until you're uncomfortable with how much mess is in the kitchen for you to start thinking if you should bring it up or not. set standards and make them clear.

put your key on a lanyard and hang it from your doorknob when you’re at home so you don’t forget it on the way out

if your dorm has a shared laundry room, set your timer for when your laundry finishes ~5 mins early to give you time to walk from your room to the laundry - especially during weekends/evenings/finals people wont have the patience to wait for you - even if your load just finished

If you have noodle arms like me, buy yourself one of those collapsible grocery carts you drag behind you like a luggage - best purchase i've ever made

Or if you're lazy, order online - but order on a free day because even if you schedule a time they're always gonna come stupid early and you dont want any frozen items to get spoiled or have your groceries stolen

DONT BUY ANY TEXTBOOKS/MATERIALS UNTIL THE FIRST WEEK/CLASSES ARE OVER. sometimes you’ll have early access to the booklist or syllabus and go ahead and start buying textbooks, but increasingly often you’ll buy the materials and show up to class just to find your prof has uploaded scanned copies of everything. *save your money*, wait!

BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS - look at your class schedule and walk around campus to find each classroom. you will probably get lost on day 1 and so will many other students so this will save you a lot of walking around bumping into other lost first years

trust me after a few weeks you won’t be waking up for that 8am class. i know you did it 5 days a week in high school, but there’s a reason uni students are allergic to morning classes. know your natural energy/attention levels and take advantage of the freedom to build your schedule around your energy fluctuations

compress/stack your class schedule as much as possible. if you absolutely do need breaks, make them at least 1.5-2 hours long or you probably wont get anything productive done and minimize these long breaks as much as you can so you can just get your day over with sooner

work smarter, not harder - when school starts note each course’s assessment type by quizzes/finals/essays. if i ever have a course thats just essays, i only do lecture notes + write my own annotations about readings rather than taking notes on them which saves time i can dedicate to textbook notetaking for courses with frequent quizzes + finals

if your school has benefits/discounts/insurance - know what it is and USE IT.

most clubs wont be like high school where there are regular meetings you attend. unless youre in the exec team the membership fee you pay/when you sign up for membership it’s just for access to their events when they happen. if you want to be involved in a club in a way thats as involved as high school, look at their social media pages for hiring.

+ as someone who has had to hire before - if you’re nervous, literally just do it. i was in an exec position for our student union services and once only had like 3 applicants to pick from

if you want to be noticed by a professor, sit in the front row. and always answer/ask questions - it doesn’t matter if you said anything of substance or not, they will remember that you contributed

that and also always make the point to say hello and goodbye! eventually (in my experience) if you come early enough and are just waiting for class to start, a conversation will happen - make these regular enough and you could have an important connection!

disclaimer: of course, not all of this might be something that resonates with you/possible for your course or school, so in the words of my cousin - take what resonates

+ anyone else is free to add on!!

#studyblr #studyspo #college life #academia #university student #aesthetic #college student #university #college #study #mine

[rainbow-femme]

Thinking too much about AFTG again and I know we rag on Neil for being oblivious but I don’t think Andrew understands for most of the story that Neil likes him back

(FYI I haven’t read all the extra content, Nora may have said something about Andrew’s mindset that contradicts this, I don’t care it’s my literary analysis and I control my interpretation and the only canon that exists is what’s in the books. Also I’m Jewish, and the number one rule is anything can be true so long as you can back it up textually)

You’ve got the whole “I’m not your answer and you sure as fuck aren’t mine” line. By this point two things have happened recently: Neil has become outwardly more emotionally and physically vulnerable, and Neil has shown more interest in spending time with Andrew as well as interest in Andrew in general. And Andrew’s response to this seems to be the assumption that Neil is having a crisis he isn’t sharing and seems to have decided that Andrew is the answer to fixing that crisis. To be fair he is having a crisis, Andrew is just an unrelated benefit.

Which makes sense, most of his relationships are based, at least in Andrew’s mind, on him providing a service in exchange for someone’s presence in his life due to his belief that people will not be around him otherwise. So if Neil is looking at him in an open, appreciative, and interested way he seems to assume it’s because Neil, the terrified guy on the run from something, has found himself enjoying the stability Andrew provides and is seeing being near Andrew as a solution to his problems. That maybe Neil has tricked himself into thinking he has feelings for Andrew because he likes having someone take care of him and that’s the reason, and we see from Andrew stopping the kiss when Neil is upset that he does not consider being interested in someone while emotionally vulnerable to be real consent, therefore if Neil is interested in him due to being upset and afraid that is not Neil actually being interested. He also is clearly very agitated by this first kiss, seeming to see himself as a predator who lost control and harmed Neil by taking advantage of him.

He also continues to do nice things for Neil after getting back, despite initially seeming to express frustration, disinterest, and distaste for Neil. Giving him keys to the car, buying him a new charger, giving Neil the shotgun seat. Andrew’s habit of feeling the need to incentivize the people he cares for to stay with him, as well as what appears to naturally be his love language of giving gifts and acts of service as a replacement for verbally sharing emotions. I’m not saying that when he’s doing nice things it’s for personal gain, but I think part of him feels good doing it and part of him believes this is all he has to offer this person. He got back and didn’t say nice things to Neil because he can’t, but he can quietly take care of Neil in a way that says “please stay with me, I want you to be ok” that he verbally can’t. He knows Neil values the ability to leave upsetting situations, that Neil reacted positively the last time Andrew gave him keys, gives Neil a way to charge his phone ie have a lifeline to safety and Andrew when needed, and he’s saying that he still implicitly trusts Neil with things that are important to him. And of course shotgun means “I want you to be the person who is nearest to me”. He similarly starts making a habit of sitting next to Neil when the team is together. Andrew very much is a cat, he’s going to swat at you but also glue himself to your side

There’s also the various moments where Andrew states out loud that he has an attraction and growing emotional attachment to Neil that he has already written off as impossible. He calls Neil a pipe dream, says he knows nothing will come of having an interest in Neil without having made any attempts to see if Neil is interested. If you follow up a confession of interest with a statement that nothing will happen, you can’t be hurt by rejection because you didn’t give the person a chance to reject you.

And it doesn’t seem like it’s because Andrew is purposely avoiding attachments to people. Most of the effort he puts into his life is in his relationships, specifically into giving people reasons to stay near him. He makes the deals with Kevin and Aaron, he could have gone to a school with a more competitive Exy program but went to one where Nicky and Aaron could come and be on the team and in fact made that a requirement, he proves to Kevin that he made the right choice in making Andrew his shield by attacking anyone who hurts Kevin and putting a target on his own back. Before the start of the books we know he went out of his way to connect with Renee and do things for her that meant a lot to her, things that again seem to represent “I am doing her a favor, therefore she will be more likely to stay.” And anything else could be written off as born again Christian charity rather than acknowledge she has love and care for him.

He doesn’t see an attempt at connecting with Neil to be useless because he has no interest in building relationships with people, if there’s anything Andrew is passionate about it’s building and maintaining relationships with people. He sees it as obviously useless because there’s no way Neil would legitimately want to be with Andrew in the same way that Andrew wants him, that it is impossible to consider Neil reciprocating the way he’s feeling because all he wants is Neil himself and he doesn’t think anyone could just want him and think it’s enough.

Neil says he allowed himself to be abused by the Raven’s for two weeks on the chance he could help Andrew, that he wants to care for Andrew even without any personal benefit, and that is when Andrew calls him a pipe dream. Neil has just said that he, the guy who previously was so terrified for his own safety that he put it above all else, would willingly sacrifice his safety for Andrew. When Neil says this Andrew covers his mouth to make him stop talking, which to me suggests that this revelation was an absolute gut punch to him, that what happened to Neil was not only for his sake but accomplished nothing. Andrew’s reaction to Neil saying this is to say that Neil was supposed to be a side effect of the drugs. Meaning what Neil just said made him feel so strongly for Neil that he previously assumed it could not possibly be something he naturally has the capacity to feel.

(And he stills says that he doesn’t think he could ever have from Neil what he wants. So yeah Neil isn’t the only one who can hear a heartfelt confession and come to the conclusion that the other person is completely uninterested)

Also the whole “there is no this” conversation they loop through a few times. Again, Andrew loves building relationships, but they all are ticking clocks in his head, most of them graduation unless he can come up with something to convince them to stay. And then Neil keeps trying to say that there exists a relationship between them that has not been carefully negotiated with a clear end date, which is probably terrifying to a guy who doesn’t think he can trust anyone unless he is providing them something that makes him more useful around than not.

What Neil is proposing is that Andrew has intrinsic value and his presence is all Neil wants, and that probably seems terrifying and untrue. If Neil isn’t getting a tangible benefit that outweighs any perceived inconveniences, and if there is no point where they “re-up” their contract, then at any moment Neil could change his mind and take this thing away from Andrew. He’s had people he loved decide he’s not worth it, he knows it can happen and how terrible it is to experience. He willingly dealt with Drake and harmed himself to keep Cass, and he still lost her because he in and of himself wasn’t enough to be kept and loved because he wasn’t easy enough to love, he was broken, he was damaged. There can’t be a non transactional relationship between them because Andrew can’t see himself being enough and thinks losing it would be too painful to willingly risk

(Nicky, Kevin, and Aaron also seem to have this same view as Neil in their own way of Andrew’s inherent worth to them. Nicky really deserves more recognition for clawing his way to happiness then willingly giving it all up and upending his life and doing things repeatedly that make him unhappy because he cares so much for Aaron and Andrew, aligning himself against possible friends who could make him happy because he will always choose supporting Andrew over himself. And you have Aaron showing that he will fight Andrew tooth and nail if it means they can have a good and lasting relationship, and we see Kevin form genuine love and affection for Andrew outside of their deal, but again Andrew seems to view the relationships at the time as transactional or obligatory on their ends)

Or my favorite, the scene where Andrew makes a comment about Neil’s “neck fetish.” Neil has kissed his neck only about two times by that point, and both times it has elicited what is clearly a pleasurable response from Andrew. But Andrew can’t accept the idea that Neil is doing something with no benefit to himself and only a benefit to Andrew, that he is choosing to take time away from his own immediate pleasure to do something solely for Andrew’s enjoyment of the moment

Neil responds to the comment by saying “You like it, I like that you like it.” Neil is saying that he cares enough about Andrew to have paid attention to what pleases him and wants to take the time when they’re together to make Andrew feel good in a way that Andrew makes him feel good, that he knows Andrew has trauma with physical touch on most of his body but this is a way he can reciprocate that has no negative connotations for Andrew and serves solely to make him feel good. And Andrew does not or cannot let himself see it that way because it’s too vulnerable.

The sex is supposed to be transactional, this is what Andrew has to offer to make Neil stay with him, uninterrupted time of Andrew making him feel good and asking for nothing in return. Neil is breaking the rules, he’s making it reciprocated, if he is making Andrew feel good then Andrew doesn’t have that safety net of being the one with something to offer. So it has to be something that secretly benefits Neil, it has to be that Neil is getting something out of it or Andrew is back to not having anything special that he offers to make Neil stay with him. If it’s just Neil sitting back while Andrew gets him off then Andrew is automatically the most convenient sexual partner for Neil and he won’t look for someone else. If it’s reciprocal, then it stops being a favor Andrew is doing and takes effort on Neil’s end, as well as means the sex includes Andrew knowing what it’s like to be loved and cared for, which means he will feel it’s absence when Neil inevitably leaves because Andrew isn’t convenient enough.

It honestly seems like the turning point is his conversation with Aaron about breaking their deal, Aaron making him choose their deal or Neil. Because it A. Forces Andrew to see that Aaron intends to stay in his life without the deal, meaning that yes one of the most important people in Andrew’s world loves him without a contract. And B. It forces Andrew into a position where he has to take a leap of faith that Neil isn’t going to just walk away, that Neil sees Andrew the way Andrew sees him. And I wonder if Aaron brought up the conversation he had with Neil, that Neil said he didn’t think Andrew would fight for him, and he realized that Neil not only has been thinking about him the way he was thinking about Neil, but that he had this person in his life that he cared about and he was acting in a way that made that person not feel valued and it could probably cause the very thing he wants to avoid by pushing him away.

So you finally get the very end of the last book where Andrew doesn’t deny it when Neil says Andrew likes him, which is for him incredibly vulnerable. He’s shown that he will always protect Neil without their deal of protection, and Neil has shown that he sees everything about Andrew that other people don’t like and he loves Andrew anyway.

Because the story is from Neil’s point of view we see his internal growth as he learns to recognize and accept love and care from others but Andrew has been doing the same, realizing and trusting that Kevin and his family will still be there even if he has nothing tangible to offer, and accepting that someone could genuinely know and understand him, all the things that make him inconvenient, and still want him with no extra incentive because even as broken as he sees himself to be he still has value to others and he can trust Neil in the way he wants Neil to trust him

#long post #this got so much longer than I intended oh my god #this was supposed to be like 3 paragraphs max #I have a lot of thoughts about Andrew desperately wanting love without thinking he can have it #even though he has people who love him #aftg #all for the game #tfc #andrew minyard #neil josten #andreil

[astro-royale]

Observations : Part 1✨

⚠️These are my personal observations & opinions:

- Saturn in your 7th house can usually mean that all your intimate relationships are of a karmic nature & to do with past lives. Soulmate after soulmate… there’s always a sense of fate.

- I believe Pluto is a feminine planet in a masculine energy.. much of what happens to a wounded female when she is in survival mode. Yes , Pluto is represented my a male God, but intuitively I believe there is something deeply feminine about Pluto. Astronomers have discovered that Pluto has a HEART. Cold seeming on the outside but very deeply passionate on the inside.

Gen Z has Pluto in the libertine sign of Sagittarius, it makes such sense that this generation is so obsessed with freedom and so obsessed with rebelling against the norm to gain said freedom. Also using knowledge as a weapon to gain freedom…

Scorpio Risings have deep rooted trust issues. They most likely don’t trust you even if they said they do. If a scorpio rising insults you and loves you in the same breath, it means they’re comfortable with you and they like you to a certain degree, consider yourself lucky.

Capricorn Sun/Risings are so tight pocketed…

Shadow side of Virgo; Virgos are probably one of the most judgemental signs. They criticise as a way to make themselves feel better and superior, and also as a way to keep distance and detach themselves. (They’re still probably right though😅)

Aquarius Venus men can display high signs of disinterest in people but rather display more interest in things.. especially knowledge. They give off a very asexual vibe, kind of like Isaac Newton vibe.

Cancer sun people are easily taken advantage of in ways they don’t realise because their ego relies so much on the validation of other people.

If a man with Venus in Scorpio is not interested in you, you will know, because he is not obsessed with you.

Virgos are one of the signs that care most about people yet that gets overlooked because they don’t like taking credit, and their pride can give off the wrong impression as if they don’t care due to their sharp tongue; yet they do care because they take care of the little details or they show love in more action oriented ways.

If a Virgo starts talking about how much they do it’s because they’re tired of lack of appreciation and reciprocation.

Taurus in 6th house will make you obsessed with improving your looks, especially your body. It will also make you want to improve your eating habits.

Geminis will really just say anything on their mind, sometimes knowing it will hurt you, just because they like to see the look on your face. It brings them amusement to have the upper hand because it plays on their ego to be “intellectually superior”.

There can be very strong alternation of like and dislike between Scorpio Rising and Scorpio Sun individuals.. always some kind of tension.

I’ve noticed Pisces Sun men tend to easily give into addictions and escapism, and often use spirituality as an excuse to stay in their head. They have a lot of willpower; yet they get distracted by the need to avoid their trauma and suppress their emotions through their addictions . They have a lot of potential.

Cancer men tend to be very sensitive and have fragile egos, quite reactive too if you brush them the wrong way.

Libras can be very fake but also extremely caring and nurturing.

Virgo men… can be quite messy and poor with hygiene.

If a Gemini cares about you, you’re in their pile of “special” people because 9 times out of 10 they don’t give a fffffff.

Scorpio in sun or rising will often have bird like or vampiric features.

There is something very tender about a Scorpio man, even when he is honest with his darkness, you can still sense a sweetness and sensitivity in them. They’re the kind of guys you want to help and think you can change, until they prove you wrong because they self sabotage so that you don’t like them…

Leo in Venus will spoil you!! Male or female, doesn’t matter how long you have known them. If they like you they will pay for lunch, take pictures of you and show you off on social media, etc.

If you want to support this blog as well as my research there’s a Tip option in the bio. Or you can cashapp me £astroroyale .This way I can keep posting high quality content for you as it encourages me in the process <3 :) Thank you & Much love

Anyways, stay safe 😊☀️✨

Gif is from the anime the wallflower

#astrology notes #astrology observations #virgo #cancer #scorpio #taurus #capricorn #gemini #leo astrology #sagittarius #capricorn zodiac #pisces #aquarius #libra #aries

[rotten-pomegranate]

Adult trio with a reader that has wings

Headcannon Request are open

I’m on a road trip so I’ll be writing 💪🏻

Warnings: it gets smuts in hisokas part, mentions of reader getting pinned down, mentions of Chrollo and illumi using reader to break the law

꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜ ꩜

Illumi

Illumi likes look at them and randomly runs his hands over them from time to time just to feel them

Definitely finds them useful for locating targets, literally just hands you a photo and tells you to fly over the city until you find them

Will definitely train you to keep them quiet so you can Sneek into places easier

His family is probably cool with you because your kids will have wings and special skills as well

Hisoka

Hisoka is a very sexual being and naturally he finds many ways to use your wings against you in the bedroom

He definitely likes tying them to your back or pushing you into the bed really roughly with them

He also probably randomly comes up and yanks feathers out to see that little jump you do

And if you have a mating call or dance he might go crazy every time he hears it because he knows you want him

He lives flouncing around with you on his arm in public watching as all the eyes go to you and your beautiful wings

Chrollo

If your a bird that takes shiney things like a crow then he’ll probably meat you because your getting chased down the street by the police for stealing and he saves you

Trust that he will get you every shiney necklace or bracelet you could have ever dreamed of

Like illumi he may also use your ability to fly to his advantage by getting you to spy or identify people

And seance crows remember faces he’ll use that to

He’ll love you wings regardless but if they are shiny and black he’ll be head over heals

©rotten-pomegranate- All rights reserved, don’t steal, translate, copy, plagiarize, claim my work as your own or post it on other platforms.

#hisoka x reader with wings #illumi x reader with wings #Chrollo x reader with wings #hxh #Chrollo x reader #hisoka x reader #illumi x reader #hunter hunter #Chrollo x reader smut #illumi x reader smut #hisoka x reader smut #hunter x hunter #hisoka hxh #Chrollo hxh #illumi hxh #chrollo hunter x hunter #illumi hunter x hunter #hisoka hunter x hunter #hxh hisoka #hxh chrollo #hxh illumi #hunter x hunter x reader #hxh hisoka morrow #hxh chrollo lucilfer #hxh illumi zoldyck #illumi zoldyck #chrollo lucilfer #hisoka morow #writing

[mint-yooxgi]

Guardian - Yandere!Griffin!Jongho

Yandere AU & Griffin AU - First Person POV

Genre: Mature, Smutty Themes, Internal Monologue

Pairing: Jongho X Implied Chubby!Fem!Reader

Words: 1,557

Warnings: Possessive thoughts, violence - both implied and alluded to. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: This one's a lil shorter than the rest, but I think it gets the point across. He also turned out much more violent and possessive than I thought he would, but I think it suits his character here. I hope you'll look forward to the final one of these coming soon, too! As always, Feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy~

The Fifteenth of The Feral Drabbles

You should have listened to me. I told you not to walk home alone in the dark. And yet… here we are.

You know, you’re much more peaceful when you’re unconscious. You don’t have a chance to nag me all the time.

It’s not that I’m trying to be controlling. Not at all. I just worry, okay? 

I know it might be difficult for you to understand, but I do worry about you. I’m not always going to be around to protect you like tonight. I’m just lucky I decided to follow after you, even after we said goodnight.

I could sense them. I knew you were being followed by more than just one of them, and I couldn’t let them take advantage of you. I don’t care if we had all been out in a group to start, their intentions after we said goodbye were impure!

I see the way others look at you when you’re not paying attention. Really, it’s quite obvious, but you act like you don’t notice. Of course they’d look. They’d all be stupid not to chance a glance at the stunning beauty that lays before them. I want them to look, but only when you’re with me. Look, but never touch.

I just wish they’d leave you alone.

Can’t they understand that you’re mine?

Fucking posers. I should gouge all their eyes out for what they tried to do to you tonight. Even just thinking about it makes my blood boil and my feathers ruffle. Knowing you, you’ll probably brush it all off once you wake up, making every excuse you can for those other guys. Only I know the truth, and I don’t care if you believe me or not.

No, they weren’t ‘being nice’ and walking you home, they expected something. They always expect something. No, they also weren’t ‘keeping an eye out’ for you. I do that. They were stalking you! I hear them always whispering about that one guy asking you out, and I couldn’t have that! 

You understand, right? Why I had to split his head open like a watermelon? He could have taken you away from me, and I couldn’t have that. You mean too much to me…

Don’t worry, I’ll take you home. I’ll keep you safe. I’m the only one who can. The only one you should trust.

The moon is full tonight as the wind whips through my feathers. I thought taking you for a little flight would help soothe you after the trauma you’ve just endured. Despite you being unconscious, I feel like it’s helping. I’ve got you, and even in your sleep, you’ve got me. I will never let you fall, and besides, maybe if you wake up while we soar through the night sky, you’ll be less mad about what happened.

Not that you should be mad at all, but you always get upset at me when I stick up for you. Every time I step in when people make inappropriate comments, or I ‘accidentally’ trip someone that’s standing a little too close to you, you cuss me out. I can practically hear your voice in my head already yelling about how they were just being ‘friendly’.

‘Friendly’ my ass.

Good thing you’re asleep. That eye roll would have earned me a smack on my arm. Perhaps even a disappointed shake of your head, too.

You’re lucky I love you. I let you get away with so much shit I normally would never put up with. I suppose that’s what happens when you care about someone as much as I care about you…

I’ll never admit how much I enjoy it when you touch me, even when you playfully smack my arm, or the upside of my head. I’d rather receive one hundred- no, one thousand of those than see you even lay a finger on someone else that’s not me. If you thought I was violent tonight, you should see some of the corpses of the people who’ve touched you, especially without your permission. Certain people, like our close friends and your family, I can let slide. But nasty fuckers who think they have any sort of chance with you?

Never.

It’s pathetic how easily their flesh shreds beneath my claws. Honestly, I can’t believe any of them ever thought that they even had a chance with you. If they can’t save themselves, how are they ever going to protect you? Fucking pathetic, weak morsels that don’t deserve to even share the same air as you.

Of course, I’d never let you see that side of me. The one that’s covered in entrails and blood after disposing of the trash. You’d worry too much, and besides, I never want you to be scared of me. You have nothing to fear. Never from me. Not while I’m around. After all, everything I do, I do for you.

Really, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. Say the word, even so much as imply you want something, and it’s yours. You are my one and only saving grace in this godforsaken world, and I will do everything in my power to see you smile. I will always be there to offer you a shoulder to cry on, and loving arms to embrace you when you need me. 

Nothing is off limits. I just want to make you happy.

I will make you happy. I know I will. Yet, you seem to brush off my advances every chance you get. What will it take for you to see how completely and utterly devoted I am to you? I would burn down entire cities, level the highest of mountains to the ground to prove myself to you. 

The impossible will become probable with me around. That’s my promise to you.

See! Even subconsciously you want to be close to me! Your grip just tightened on my back. You’re even nuzzling closer into my feathers!

…Either that, or you’re waking up.

Perhaps I should simply glide through the air now if that’s the case. Like I said, I don’t want to scare you.

Oh… it seems as though it was a false alarm. You’re still sleeping so soundly. As you should.

I’ve got you.

Are you dreaming of me? I always dream about you, so it’s only fair. I promised myself that I’d become the man of your dreams, but to think that might be literal is just… well, it only makes my affections for you grow. Let me protect you in your dreams just as well as I protect you in reality. Let my love wash over you so you feel it even when you’re away from me, deep within your own unconscious mind. Feel my devotion washing over you with every breath, and stay with me. Forevermore.

Perhaps now you’ll take me seriously. After you wake up, and calm down of course, I’ll tell you how I really feel. No more skirting around our feelings, and hoping you’ll understand why I do what I do. I need to be more forward, and finally tell you my everlasting love for you is real.

Thinking of it now… will you kiss me when I confess? Oh, gods… just thinking about the feel of your lips pressed against my own is making my head spin. Are they as soft as they look? Have you fantasized about mine as often as I’ve dreamt about yours? Do you also want my lips to caress every inch of your body when we’re alone? I swear nothing but the sweetest of praises will fall from my lips as I press them to your own, and all over your glorious body worthy of every piece of worship I plan to offer to you.

And worship you I shall.

There will be no part of you untouched by me. There is no part of you unloved by me. I plan to show you, to make you mine in every meaning of the sense, but only if you will allow me to do so. I only ever want to please you, to make you shake as you succumb to the deepest throws of pleasure, drowning you completely in ecstasy so you can no longer tell where you end and I begin. 

I was made to love you, and you were made to be loved by me.

Let me feel your nails digging into my back. Mark up my thighs which I know you adore. It’s cute to see you turn away shyly every time I catch you staring and admiring me. Though, you shouldn’t be ashamed, I admire you, too. Every chance I can get.

I always hear you joking about finding someone who will completely ravage you. Someone who will make you scream their name until the early hours of the morning. Someone to love you until you can’t take it anymore, to focus completely on you and you alone.

Well, Darling, I’m right here. Ready and eager whenever you are. You wouldn’t even have to ask, for I would fall to my knees to please you. Every. Single. Time.

Once you wake up, I’ll take you home. I just hope someday that home will be with me. A place to call our own. Where I am yours, and you are mine.

As it should be.

As it will be.

#cultofdionysusnet #mfu net #yandere ateez #yandere jongho #ateez scenario #jongho scenario #ateez imagine #kpop au #kpop scenario #kpop imagine #yandere kpop #griffin au #chubby reader #ateez au

[changeling-fae]

You know, thinking about how Raphael and the Emperor fill similar roles but with different methods and how Raphael’s “better the devil you know” takes on a double (triple?) meaning. Raphael straight up tells you what he is and uses that as leverage against the Emperor who deceives you pretty much the whole time.

And for a lot of people it works, people in general prefer honesty up front and while Raphael is absolutely a shady devil, most people would respect his candor over being lied to from the start. Not everyone of course, the Emperor’s tactics still seems to work on a lot of players, given how many never learn he was manipulating them from start to finish.

But I really do like the scene of Raphael laying out all his cards and giving you an opportunity to compare them against the Emperor.

The Emperor could argue he lied about who he was because no one would trust an illithid (which is likely true) but he now has the disadvantage of another shady being persuading his target because said shady being was up front with who he was.

I do vibe way more with Raphael (obviously lol), and I recognize a lot of it is, yeah he was upfront about who he is and his motives. And while arguably headcanon territory, it’s still pretty clear that Raphael has some “affection” (in his own way) for us versus the Emperor who the moment you break through his facade, clearly cannot feel affection.

When he tries to seduce your character and if you turn him down, the narrator actually makes a pretty clear note of planting suspicion about how fast and suspiciously quick the Emperor changed tactics and words despite 5 sec prior talking like he cares about us.

Actually I wouldn’t say it’s that headcanony that Raphael has an attachment to us, all the jokes aside about him having a crush, we get the evidence that he has an attachment from other places aside from Raphael’s mouth.

The diaries and plaque (if you sign the contract) proves it in the sense that in game, Raphael never expected us to see his writings or his vault. And the archivist in the vault says something along the lines about how special we are to Raphael and how Raphael has a “softer spot” for mortals than most, and the archivist says all this to us thinking we’re just some random devil in disguise. Information that wasn’t meant for our ears technically.

Meanwhile you got the Emperor over here who is very good at faking affection and sympathy until you start to examine him more. Then he drops it like a rock, it’s almost scary how quick he can.

Raphael is oddly relatable because he is kinda pathetic in his own way. You can see where and how he got to being who he is. The Emperor is, well, alien. He’s definitely very good at utilizing his old memories of when he was mortal to his advantage, but that mortal is dead and he’s basically just another illithid, just one who happens to be more independent than most.

And while this is all speculation on my part, it’s clear that Raphael both hates but is attached to mortals, likely because of his own existence. He’s half mortal but lives and is bound by the rules of hell like a devil. I think he envies some of the freedom to choose that mortals have, and that’s why he’s so insistent that mortals don’t have choice. He wants that freedom to choose but can’t because of his nature (“hell, hell, hell has its laws”) and he’s trying to convince either himself and/or mortals that they don’t have a choice either, to cover up that envy he feels.

Imagine being the child of one of the big bad archdevils who rules over a layer of hell. There probably is a level or feeling of helplessness that he never had a choice but to be what he is.

And you can contrast that with the Emperor who is no longer mortal and while definitely fighting for his own independence and freedom, is quite content to be what he is.

Considering the whole game has strong themes about choice, fate, and freedom, it’s just fun how even the antagonists shares those struggles same as our characters and the companions.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 raphael #raphael meta #bg3 spoilers #I have too many thoughts about this terrible (affectionate) devil man #1am thoughts

[imagrindylow]

Sebastian, Leander, Ominis, Garreth & Amit React to MC asking to be choked

Woke up this morning thinking about getting choked by Leander, so had to write something. Thanks to @skittish1807 and @ellivenollivander for ideas on Seb's and Amit's, respectively. And for tolerating my obnoxiousness first thing in the morning.

Sebastian: “Oh you’re alright with being choked? Awesome.” He will take this as consent that will span, unwavering, for the duration of your relationship. He’ll work it into your heavy make out sessions, and foreplay, too. He’ll sneak up on you when you’re least expecting it and tease you with a hand around your throat throughout the day. He will love the look in your eyes when you give him that power, how him being in control amplifies your desire for him, it makes him wild. He wants you to choke him too, it seems exciting.

Leander: “You trust me enough to let me do that to you?” He’s proud, and thinks that's hot as hell. He’s eager to please, so you want it, you got it. He’ll use his height difference over you to his advantage and be extra intimidating when he looms over you and wraps his fingers around your neck, if that’s how you want it. He gets pretty into it, he loves the little smirk you give him when he takes control. He’d be interested in incorporating it regularly if it made you happy, and when one day he lets you do it to him, he likes that even more. Please straddle him and choke him, don’t make him beg (he totally would though).

Ominis: He’ll try it on you in the heat of the moment before you even had the chance to tell him it’s something you were interested in. He likes having the upper hand, so it’s naturally something he was curious to do, and when he hears the way you moan for him when he does it, and feels how you rut yourself up against him while his hand is around you, its like you flipped a switch for him. “You like my hands around your throat, do you? You would, you naughty girl.” He will never let you reciprocate, though.

Garreth: When you bring it up, he giggles, but he agrees and he’s excited to try it. He’d be a bit too gentle at first, but with your encouragement, he does it just right. He likes feeling your rapid pulse and knowing that he’s the one causing it. He likes playing with fire and this gives him the same rush. After the first time he does it, he’d say something like “If you liked my hands, I can think of something else I can choke you with.” He would not be super receptive of you choking him in return, but if you wanted to restrict his breathing, he’d happily let you sit on his face.

Amit: You’d have to beg him to even consider it, and when he finally relents and says he’ll try, what you get is more of a tender little squeeze. You’re pretty sure you’ve wrapped your scarf tighter. You’d have to coax him on, and the second he applies an adequate amount of pressure, he’d be asking if you’re alright and letting up in concern. Despite all of your reassurance, this just isn’t his thing, and that’s okay. He’d promise to try other things out until you found something together that suited you both.

#hogwarts legacy fan fiction #hogwarts legacy headcanons #hogwarts legacy imagine #sebastian sallow #leander prewett #ominis gaunt #garreth weasley #amit thakkar

[tanoraqui]

key elements of Crownless (the Young Aragorn show that lives in my head and heart) season 1:

(Note that I will play a little fast and loose with timelines and for the sake of a better story. And/or take ruthless advantage of canonical slow Dúnedain aging to spread the timeline out over several decades)

First episode(s) is Aragorn (age 21, functionally late teens) leaving Rivendell to start wandering the wilds with the Rangers. I would do Elrond & his people dirty and say that Aragorn has been kinda sheltered growing up, a little because Elves tend to baby Men, especially young Men, and mostly because everyone wanted to be sure Isildur’s heir was safe as darkness grew in the world, especially after his father was killed when he was 2.

So Aragorn starts with significant book smarts, homely peace smarts—historical knowledge, animal friendship, herblore, diplomacy skills, technical sword/knife/bow skills…but he doesn’t know the dirty fighting tricks that win a fight. His tracking, hunting, forest stealth, etc. skills…suck at first. He’s prone to freeze in urgent healing (or combat) situations, because he’s never done this on his own before—though he has a natural talent for the ‘calling people back from death’ thing we see in LotR.

(This gives Aragorn obvious skills to pick up that demonstrate his character growth as a leader, while also establishing from the start that his real talent in kingship is, always was, diplomacy, strength of character & connection with his people, literal and metaphorical healing. Also, weirdass plans, often based on things he read, with success resting on luck/prayer/hope more than any reasonable thing…including a willingness to trust strange new and/or sketchy people…and they work.)

Maybe eps 1-2 is a double-length episode: opens with newly widowed Gilraen arriving in distress with a toddler 18 years ago, then first half is mostly restless late teen!Estel in Rivendell, ending with Elrond revealing his true name, broken sword, time to go forth… Smash cut to Aragorn tripping in the forest and falling in a stream while 2 other baby Rangers laugh at him and whoever’s stuck training these new recruits sighs heavily. There’s a lot of “this is the new Chieftain of the Dúnedain, Isildur’s heir?”

Format: 22ep 44min monster of the week (like GOD INTENDED) focused on the newest young Rangers: Aragorn, Halbarad, Dúnawen (OC: “maiden of the west”, don’t @ me for naming), as they range throughout Eriador learning how to be badasses guarding the boundaries of civilization. Monsters include orcs, wargs, mortal bandits, trolls, giant spiders, a small ice wyvern that made its way to northern Dale, barrow-wrights, unhoused fëa, rival clans of Men or maybe Dwarves who are about to go to blood feud war…

…and a slowly mounting season plot of the trouble of 3 Nazgúl reoccupying Dol Goldur, after the White Council forced the “Necromancer” out 15ish years ago. (Riling up ghosts throughout the countryside? Something something themes of moving on from the past. Also, can’t go wrong with an episode in which heroes must confront their literal personal ghosts.)

Repeat cameos from Elrohir & Elladan, cousins of all Mannish Dúnedain (and kind of older brothers to Aragorn in particular.) Are they helping him? Are they harder on him than on the other new recruits? Are they good cop/bad cop-ing it?

Arwen! Meet briefly ep1 and/or she’s a key feature of midseason finale; return in season finale to be badass. “Tinúviel! Tinúviel!” scene in Lothlórien casts a hiccup in a fledgling romance between Aragorn and Dúnawen

All combinations of Aragorn/Halbarad/Dunawen ARE welcome, nay, encouraged. They’re functionally in college and they’re all hot, and constantly in near-death situations. I advise the writers to have fun. Bisexuality is free.

Gandalf introduction early, ep2? Probably also in finale (something of a large team-up).

Late season bottle episode, maybe just before a 2-parter finale, in which due to a thunderstorm/mudslide/cave-in incident, Aragorn, Halbarad and Dunawen are trapped in a cave/small series of caves with a random assortment of other travelers on the road west of Bree: a pair of Dwarvish merchants, a few men, 1 elf (journeying to the Havens to Sail?), and 1 hobbit, Mr. Drogo Baggins of Hobbiton, who was making a perilous journey to Bree and back in order to fetch his beloved, very pregnant wife a particular kind of cheese she was craving. No loss of air threat, but they’re stuck. Obviously getting Drogo home is of utmost importance (and everyone else needs to get home safe, too). Tempers run high! Only once the Junior Rangers sort out their late-season interpersonal drama can Aragorn rise to the occasion and organize/mediate this microcosm of Middle Earth’s populace to dig their way out of this cave.

Aragorn is exceptionally good at facing down Nazgúl and their weaponized despair because he has—indeed, he is, by name!—hope. This show is about hope first and teamwork second, and looking badass in a beautiful landscape while Howard Shore music swells third.

[s2 in notes]

#lotr #lord of the rings #Aragorn #ficlet #my fic

[reiluvr]

🏁 jump start

you just wanted to wallow in peace. a bit hard to do that when two random men ask you to be a "grid girl"?

racer au!! part 1 is on my page! masterlist is a wip currently </3 were still in the introduction part of this so this is definitely going to be split up into parts. also i haven't decided whos gonna be the main guy in this so lmk who you like!

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

What in the world have you gotten yourself into? That’s the only thought that runs through your mind as the two random men drag you to some remote area. You almost regret trusting them so easily, maybe that was their plan, to have Yuji be so sweet that they can lure you to your demise. You had just begun formulating your half assed plan to try and escape when it feels as though you’ve been struck by lightning. All your senses scream when the pin drop silence evolves into loud rumbles, the abandoned dark lot that you were standing in suddenly being lit up like a flash bang. Sukuna grins at the pathetic whine that escapes your lips as you drag your arms over your eyes to soothe them. You drop them again a few seconds later, letting your sense adjust as you notice the sudden influx of people. Through hazy vision, you can make out Yuji talking excitedly with some spiky haired boy while Sukuna crashes through people to meet with a blonde chick. You suddenly feel extremely self-conscious being left alone by the two people who you only somewhat knew. It’s when you finally start seeing clearly, that a girl walks up to you. She looks you up and down, not even bothered by the way you seem to be staring into her soul. She grins lazily when she notices the glint of attraction in your eyes.

“Shoko. Nice to meet ya. How did Sukuna convince a goody like you to come to a place like this, huh?”

You stutter through your words, completely lost. She rolls her eyes, eyeing your pockets as she steps closer, taking advantage of the way your breath hitches to slip her hand into your jacket pocket. She pulls out your ID, giggling at the stunned look on your face as she examines it.

“Hmm, pretty name…Oh shit, you don’t look nineteen, girl. Ah, med major. That explains it. They always look depressed beyond their years.”

You gather enough confidence to finally scan the place, your voice hesitant.

“What is this?”

Shoko’s eyes widen only a fraction as she tilts her head.

“They really didn’t tell you anything? You’re not that smart if you’re following random men without even asking a question, kid.”

You don’t respond to that, not ready to tell this beautiful woman about how your life is falling apart because your marks are bad. She takes a step back, arms open as if to show off the area as she grins.

“Welcome to Jumpstart, kid. The only street racing kick in the tristate area that’s worth attending.”

At her words, the environment seems to suddenly click as you take it in. The blinding lights seem less harsh now that you can see the beautiful cars they come from. You barely get a chance to admire the scene, Shoko grabbing your arm as she drags you with her.

“You got a lot to learn in a very little amount of time, so let me introduce you to the main event.”

Shoko is clearly a big deal around this area, people immediately getting out of her way as she shuffles through the crowd. You mutter small apologies to the few people you bump into before Shoko comes to stop in front of two men…In front of two gorgeous men.

The taller one grins as he leans forward a little to bend, his hair falling over his face so effortlessly that you almost want to run your fingers through it. You want to ask him if it’s bleached, I mean who could possibly have such perfect whiter hair naturally? Before you can even open your mouth to greet him, he slips his glasses down his nose and you’re once again left speechless at the overwhelming blue staring down at you.

“Hmm, this the one Sukuna picked out? She not all that.”

And before it even started, it ended. You didn’t even get a chance to appreciate his looks before he starts talking and now you want him to just shut up. Okay, maybe you didn’t look your best, but god, give a girl a break! The man on his left grins as he slaps his hand on the white-haired ones arm. His voice is soft, almost a purr as he slips a hair tie off of his wrist to tie up his hair while chiding his friend.

“Come now, Satoru, it’s rude to point out someone’s flaws.”

His voice is so sweet, saccharine like as he defends you. You completely blow past the condescending nature of the way he words his thoughts. He grins as he looks down at you, A stray piece of hair falling over his eyes, making him look all the more regal as he coos at you.

“You seem way out of your comfort zone, pretty. This not your usual night out?”

Shoko tugs on his hair before you can answer, though you secretly thank her knowing you would’ve made a fool out of yourself if you spoke.

“She’s not a plaything, focus up. Come on, introduce yourselves.”

Both boys straighten up, seeming as though conditioned, the way they start speaking like it was rehearsed hundreds of times.

“I’m Satoru Gojo, it’s nice to meet you. Would you like to see my car?”

“Suguru Geto, it’s a pleasure. Let me take you for a ride.”

You stare at both of them awkwardly, Shoko slapping her hand against the back of both their necks.

“We’ve been through this! Don’t sound so robotic. Whatever. Look kid, these two are the top racers we have. Satoru only races in car sprints like a pussy, and Suguru does a little bit of everything, but we like to show him off when he’s on a bike. You’ve met Sukuna, he’s insane in a car. Yuji manages these ‘meetings’ but I’ve seen that boy when he’s in a sports car and there’s a reason him and Sukuna are twins. Who am I missing…?”

You try to remember all the information she’s throwing at you as Suguru starts speaking next.

“Choso is only good on bikes, you can meet him at the next race. Megumi and Maki are car fanatics, you should talk to them to figure out the basics. Nanami is the supervisor, I suppose. We should definitely introduce you to him. Hmm, there’s a bunch of other people too, you can just meet them later. Right now, we need to get you changed.”

“…What?”

You finally get a chance to speak, your face burning slightly at the rasp in your voice as your eyes squint in confusion. You turn to Shoko, clearly only trusting her right now as she grins back at you.

“Oh yeah, we need to fix you up. I think it’s time you meet Nobara and Hime.”

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #jjk #geto suguru #geto x reader #geto x you #sukuna x reader #sukuna ryomen #sukuna x you #sukuna #jjk yuji #yuji itadori #yuji x reader #choso kamo #jjk megumi

[miguelswifey04]

omg pretty please can we have a sugar daddy miguel x reader where it’s who keeps on denying on Miguel buying them stuff because they feel bad using his money (^｡^) and Miguel’s who’s really sweet and insist on buying em stuff and one day they go on a date in the mall and almost fight because miggy wants to buy them Chanel or Dior and reader feels guilty for using his money (*ﾟ▽ﾟ*) hehe can we have this please

LOVE this! i <3 this take where the sugar baby doesn`t want to be spoiled IG that much...even though that`s the point yk ☹️

miguel was one of a kind, and he was not just any ordinary sugar daddy to say the least. you on the other hand didn’t quite like when he’d spend money on you for unnecessary things. and you know that the whole point of having a sugar daddy is to get spoiled and get taken care of. you appreciated that miguel has given you the finicial liberty to be stabled and let him take care of the most IMPORTANT things that required miguel’s attention and money.

the only reason you had a sugar daddy was not necessarily because you were in dire need of money. you somewhat had money of your own but it was because you were lonely…you craved the companionship, the attention, the physical aspect of relationships, and love. you were a recluse and a “nobody” under the eyes of the world but to miguel you were his everything. miguel had always been generous, showering you with his affection and wanting nothing more than to just make you the happiest person in the universe. but there was one thing about him that made you feel conflicted - his desire to spoil you with expensive gifts and treat you like a princess. you didn't want to be labeled as his "sugar baby," nor did you want to take advantage of his wealth. so, you often found yourself refusing his offers, much to his dismay.

So on one sunny day, miguel took him upon himself to drive you around in his Porsche 911 Carrera Gt3. miguel had one hand on the steering wheel while his right hand was squeezing your thigh lovingly. his fingertips gently brushed against the curves of your thighs and gently squeezed the plush side of it. he side glanced at you and you noticed him smiling at him. “so, i was thinking of taking you out on a date to the mall,” he spoke with dignity and excitement because he was going to try to spoil you whether you liked it or not. his focus was on the road mainly but he stole a few glances admiring your beauty and your peaceful nature. you nodded slightly taking in his suggestion with caution, “mmkay! sure, i`d love that very much.” Miguel’s happily nodded and took you to a fancy mall.

the vibrant atmosphere buzzed around you as the two of you strolled hand in hand, window shopping and enjoying each other's company. however, tension began to brew when you passed by high-end stores like Chanel and Dior. you exactly knew why he had brought you there stopping abruptly which made miguel slightly stumble on his feet. you let out a sigh of guilt, “miguel, i appreciate the gesture, but i can’t let you spend so much on me,” your voice was full of guilt. “i don’t want you to feel like you have to buy me expensive things.”

miguel heard you and frowned, his expression was clouded with concern. “but, sweetheart, i want to spoil you. it’s not about obligation or impressing you—it’s about expressing my love and making you feel special. let me do this for you, for favor.” you felt your heart strings being pulled because you could tell miguel was being genuine and sincere. you sighed, torn between your desire to please him and your internal struggles. “i understand, but i can’t help but feel guilty. i don’t want our relationship to revolve around materialistic things. it is the love and connection that matters most to me.” you gently squeezed his hand and pulled him closer.

a soft smile tugged at the corners of miguel's lips as he gently cupped your cheeks, his eyes filled with sincerity. “you don't have to worry about that, cariño. trust me when i say that my love for you isn't tied to material things. but allowing me to spoil you from time to time doesn't diminish the value of our connection."

his words resonated deep within you, and you couldn't help but lean into his touch. despite your reservations, you understood that miguel's intentions were pure and driven by his immense affection for you.

“okay, miguel," you finally relented, your voice filled with a mix of gratitude and love. “i’ll give it a try, but let's remember that the most important thing is our love and the moments we share together."

a genuine smile spread across miguel's face, his eyes shining with happiness. “absolutely, mi amor. our love will always be the foundation. the rest is just a bonus."

you date, exploring the mall hand in hand, and this time, you let miguel spoil you with his affectionate gestures and small, meaningful gifts. because in the end, you realized that accepting his generosity didn't mean losing sight of the true nature of your relationship—it simply allowed you to revel in the love he had for you, in all its extravagant and tender forms.

#spiderman atsv #miguel o'hara #spider man: across the spider verse #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel spiderman #atsv x reader #spider person #miguel o’hara x y/n #ao3 works #spidersona #sugar daddy miguel #sugar daddy au #sugar baby reader #miguel x reader #miguel spiderverse #miguel x you #atsv miguel #miguel x y/n #🌱 lin writes

[bri-sonat]

Life Eternal

Follow up to Enjoy the Silence

Pairing: Brienne of Tarth x fem!knight!reader

Warnings: NSFW!!! heavy smut, semi-public sex, spit kink, scratching, praise kink, lil bit of degradation, corruption kink if you squint, sub!brienne, thigh grinding, angst.

A/N: i apologize for this. it was meant to be smutty but the song made me do it. i am already working on the very smutty (for real this time) ending, just so i don’t leave you all in the pit of despair. once again, english is not my first language so ignore grammar mistakes and such. once again, very sorry.

thank you to my dear bestie aron @queerofalltrades for proof-reading this for me. they’re doing the fandom a favor.

The first thing you noticed as you roused from sleep was the warm body next to you, her form pressed against yours, skin against skin.

The feeling of her naked flesh against yours was something you wanted to savor. Something to lock away in your memory vault to pull out in case of emergencies.

The taller woman had her arm slung over your waist, your legs gracefully tangled together. Deep, hot breaths against your cheek made you open your eyes, taking in your surroundings.

Brienne was still asleep, soft snores leaving her slightly opened mouth. Taking advantage of the situation, you locked away the sight of her, face so peaceful and unforced. Her hair messy from sleep, blonde locks falling freely.

It was only you who would ever get the chance to see her like this, with her guard down and utterly defenseless. Knowing the amount of hurt she had suffered in her past made you even more proud of her for trusting you in this way.

Brienne had trust issues, that much was obvious for those who knew her. Eyes hiding so much sorrow only seen by those she trusted enough, people like you. She wanted you to see everything about her, therefore she allowed you to look inside the deepest and darkest corners of her soul.

However, that also permitted you to see the most lit up ones, shining so brightly it was blinding. Like the glint that would appear in her eyes when she smiled, or the way they would light up as she ranted about her various travels. The secret enjoyment her deep ceruleans would harbor when she spoke about putting men who had underestimated her in their ‘rightful place’. All of this could be seen, if she let you see it.

So there was not only misery behind her beautiful eyes, because along with the deep sorrow that was written on her soul, was also joy. Joy and glee that was a sight to behold, a privilege extended to those she held dearest. Her laugh, reserved for you only, was the most wonderfully composed aria you had ever heard. It was deep, and unapologetically free, coming naturally after she had met you.

Then there was the laughter that wasn’t as true, the laugh she would let out in the middle of a heartbreaking story in an attempt to lighten the mood. It was silly really, and unbelievably sad that she felt the need to pretend that her heart didn’t cry when reliving her most miserable tales. Almost like she felt that her feelings didn’t matter enough to be taken seriously, like she didn’t matter.

One of these anecdotes had been about the ball her father held. She had told you how he had hosted it to find a potential suitor for her, inviting lots of young lords to Tarth. They had been showering her with attention and had even danced with her. She explained that she wasn’t entirely happy with the arrangement, knowing that she had no interest in marrying a man; but decided to attend for her fathers sake. Allowing herself to be joyful at the regard she was receiving, even if she wished that it was from a lady.

Despite the undesired recognition from the young lords, she couldn’t help the grief she had felt when she realized she was being mocked. Woefully vocalizing her disappointment when she had seen the boys snickering amongst themselves. Apparently this was when the nickname ‘Brienne The Beauty’ had been invented and it reminded you once again how cruel the world could be towards those who were different, if it was by choice or not wasn’t of importance.

“Brienne The Beauty they called me. Great joke. And I realized I was the ugliest girl alive,” she had said it with such spite, giving your hand a squeeze before she uttered five words that made your heart swell, “but then I met you.”

She had told you this under one of your late night meetings in your room. During it you had held her hand, softly stroking it as she spoke, as an act of comfort and to let her know that you were listening. You had seen tears threaten to spill out, but she had laughed instead, an empty laugh, cold and false. Fooling her body in to thinking that it wasn’t a big deal, and was successful in keeping the tears at bay.

She was a person, a human-being with emotions, but people seemed to have forgotten that. Using her as a target for their bitterness and loathing, because she didn’t fit in to the expected role as a ‘Lady’ or a woman. As much as you hated to admit it, not everyone saw her the way you did, didn’t see the appeal of her rugged and masculine appearance, did not see the woman she was underneath the steely exterior. The wall she had built up over the years was fortified, insults bouncing off like arrows on stone. The rough façade turned people away from getting the chance to see her, the actual her. The vulnerable, lovable, honest, and beautiful Brienne.

It saddened you, that so many individuals would lose out on someone as amazing as her, all because of the way she looked. But maybe that was for the best, Brienne deserved people who didn’t judge her from first glance, people who loved her unconditionally and true.

Tucking one of the loose strands of hair behind her ear, you observed as she stirred at the sudden contact but she remained asleep. Resting your hand on her cheek, you filed away this memory, the gentle and tender nature. The memory of waking up next to your love for the very first time. You traced the small scars on her face with your fingertips, making sure you appreciated every single inch of her, even if she wasn’t awake to be aware of you doing it.

Shifting your eyes from her unrestrained face, you took a glance around the room. Jumping from the clothes on the floor to the hearth. The fire from last night had burnt out during your slumber, but judging from the faint glow of the firewood, you drew the assumption that it couldn’t have been out for more than an hour.

You remained in Brienne’s warm embrace, relishing in the fact that you could feel her everywhere. Her breath against your skin, body pressed against yours, your hand on her cheek, her fingertips resting on your back. It was intoxicating and you had to hold back the excitement when you realized that this would be your life from now on, it was almost too good to be true. She was too good to be true.

Basking in her touch, you were quickly reminded of the persistent throb between your legs, not having gone back to your chambers to relieve yourself like you usually did. You had expected it to die down during the night, but Brienne’s naked body against your own had reignited the flame, it now burning stronger and brighter than ever.

Not knowing what time it was but having matters to attend to before sunrise. You gave her a quick kiss on her forehead before reluctantly maneuvering your way out of Brienne’s arms, careful to not wake the sleeping beauty. Grabbing your clothes off the floor you deftly put them on, taking one last look at your lover before exiting her chambers.

It was still dark outside, you guessed it would be another hour until sunrise. An hour before the castle and village woke up, leaving you with sixty minutes of uninterrupted time to wash yourself and polish your armor.

You always took a bath in the mornings to wash off the day before and to start the day clean before meeting Brienne for breakfast. Now it was needed more than ever. The aching between your legs was relentless, never letting up as you took large strides, almost running to the bathhouse.

You knew it would be empty, no one else was awake this time of day. Only exception being the few times you would cross paths with Brienne as she exited when you entered, or the other way around. Her skin wet, hair clinging to her forehead from the steam of the water. If you were lucky she had washed her hair and had it slicked back. It took your breath away every single time.

The times you would see her come out the first six months of your arrival were pure torture, wanting to just reach out and touch her but settling for discreetly and respectfully admiring. However, after you had begun your midnight conferences you would take the liberty to grab her, placing a fast but searing kiss to her lips whenever you would see her in the early mornings. The surprised hum she would release was priceless, her face turning red as you walked away, leaving her frozen in place. Seeing her at breakfast after those morning meetings always played out the same. She had her usual stern and intimidating expression on her face, but you saw the slight blush that would form on her cheeks when you sat down across from her.

Entering the baths you quickly stripped yourself of your clothes, folding them up and placing them close by before stepping in to the steaming hot water. You let out a sigh of relief as you felt the comforting liquid envelop you. Allowing your muscles to loosen, you leaned up against the half-wall of the bath, tilting your head back, legs extended in front of you. Arms stretching out on either side as you placed them on the edge behind you, eyes half-lidded.

Small moments like this, being alone in complete silence, nothing to be heard but your deep breaths and the soft sounds of rippling water, had become your favorites. The time spent with the much taller knight was also dear to you, but they competed not, for they were two sides of the same coin. Important to you in their own way.

When you were with her she made your heart flutter in the most beautiful way, raising your heartbeat significantly, just from a simple smile. The feelings you had when around her were overwhelming, taking over all other senses.

Permitting yourself time to unwind in the bath gave your mind and body the time to restore those senses. Like a reset. You knew that having someone affect you in this way was dangerous as a knight, always needing to be on guard, ready to unsheathe your sword and fight at any given moment. Brienne was dangerous in the most addicting way.

Removing one of your arms from the resting place on the edge, you brought it under the surface, spiking your ears to listen for even the smallest sound that would indicate people. Your fingers making contact with your neglected clit made your body jerk, a quiet whimper forcing its way out of your closed lips as you drew gentle circles with your hand. Making sure to stay silent and make as little movement as possible, so if someone were to walk in, they wouldn’t know what you were doing. You had to maintain an image as a knight of the Seven Kingdoms, and if someone were to walk in on you touching yourself, the entire town had. Gossip spread like wildfire, and you knew that it would be frowned upon.

This was restricted to the privacy of your chambers, but right now you couldn’t care less, you needed to be rid of the uncomfortable pressure between your legs. It was an emergency, simple as that. You knew you wouldn’t be able to focus all day if you didn’t alleviate the tension, especially having to be around Brienne during the majority of it. So this was a hail Mary, all dependent on the peoples sleeping habits, and how quick you could bring yourself to orgasm.

The steam from the water had clung to your skin, your hair slightly dampened and slicked back, face in an expression of silent pleasure as you added more pressure. Fingers picking up the pace, small waves created in the water by your somewhat moving arm.

The familiar feeling of release was building in your stomach, screaming to be let out. You held back a moan that threatened to leave, capturing it at the very last second. It came out as a strangled whine instead, you were so close. Images of Brienne from last night entered your mind. Her blissed out face as she came, her screams and moans. The intense eye-contact you held as you ate her out and fucked her senseless. Her beautiful breasts, and the beautiful noises she had made when you sucked and nibbled on them. All of this played through your mind as your fingers worked harder than ever. Just a little bit more and-

A noise stopped you in your tracks, quickly removing your hand and placing it back on the edge behind you. Irritated and frustrated at the interruption of mind numbing pleasure, you realized you would have to wait until night fall to get your much needed orgasm; this was going to be a long day. Your face was flushed and you were panting but it was subtle enough to not be noticed.

You kept your eyes trained on the ceiling as you heard someone enter the room. Shuffling footsteps stopped before speaking.

“Morning.” You’d recognize that voice anywhere. You hummed, a small smile making its way on to your lips.

“Brienne.” It was spoken softly, almost like an affirmation to yourself, or a confirmation to her that you recognized her presence. Tilting your head down you met her eyes, her blue ones staring straight back at you. Her eyes wide as they wandered over your naked body, the opacity of the water not leaving much to the imagination. “Morning.”

Your words brought her eyes back to yours and you shot a tired smile her way, the annoyance of disrupted release forgotten, just being in her vicinity calmed you. In your diminished state you didn’t notice her wandering eyes, but you were definitely paying attention when she started stripping in front of you, never breaking eye-contact. Her mouth marginally open and eyes as dark as the sky outside.

She hadn’t done this before, always having been quite self-conscious of her physique. It took some time for her to be comfortable with you touching her body, even if it was over clothes. You had showered her with compliments and affirmations, until she allowed herself to melt under your touch.

Even after she let you put your hands on her, you continued with your barrage of compliments, hoping that she would eventually see herself the way you did, and judging from the show in front of you, it had worked. She had grown emboldened and self-assured with the help of your sweet words, and for the first time in her life she felt hot, sexy, and attractive; and based on her facial expression she knew you thought so too. It was such a good look on her, the brazenness, it was maddening.

You watched as she unlaced her tunic, your eyes wide as they followed the path of her hands. She opened it and your eyes landed on her breasts. The marks you had left last night were a hue of purple, a strong contrast against her pale skin. Your throat was dry as you watched her take off her tunic, folding it up and placing it next to your clothes.

Her torso exposed to you, she moved her hands to her trousers, starting to unbuckle them. “You weren’t there when I woke up this morning.” Her sudden words ripped you away from your trance, practically having to force your eyes to meet hers. There was a coy smile on her pretty lips.

“No. I, uh.” You cleared your throat, trying to gain your voice back. The effect this woman had on you was staggering, “I had some things to do before breakfast. Sorry.” She watched you with unsullied eyes as she let her pants drop to the floor. The metal buckles on her trousers hit the tiles with a clink. She stepped out of the bunched up material at her feet and bent down to pick it up. You watched her intently as she neatly folded her pants up and placed them on her tunic.

“No need to apologize. I just missed you.” She cocked her head to the side the tiniest bit as she watched you. Your mind fighting tooth and nail to keep your self-control, you desperately wanted to let your eyes wander all over her now almost naked body, but you needed to be respectful.

She looked down at her body and pouted, an innocent action with malicious intent you were sure, “Oh, look what you’ve done!” Her voice was angelic, so pure, purposely used to rile you up, knowing you got a kick out of the thought that you were corrupting her sweet, virginal soul.

You looked to her hips and saw small bruises of where your fingers had dug in to her skin the night before. Seeing what you had left behind sent an almost haughty feeling throughout your body. “How did you know I would be here?” She looked down at you, fingers hooking in to her undergarments.

“You forgot your dagger in my room, I went to yours to return it. You weren’t there, so I drew the conclusion that you could only be here based on your morning habits.” She slowly, teasingly, dragged the piece of fabric down her long legs, your eyes landing on the mound between her legs.

“I’ve had enough of our near misses, therefore I decided to take matters in to my own hands. And after last night, I could use the soothing warmth. I woke up aching this morning.” She said the last sentence with faux confusion, as if she had no clue as to why. You didn’t think you were that rough to the extent that she would be in pain. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that she had been a maiden, your fingers stretching her out could surely be reason for soreness.

You closed your eyes, the familiar pounding feeling between your legs returning. This woman would be the death of you.

“I hope it’s not an excruciating ache. I apologize if I was too rough last night. I didn’t injure you, did I?” It came out more composed than you thought it would, voice more flat than desired. Despite your current predicament, Brienne naked in front of you, you had to make sure she was okay.

Brienne furrowed her brows, your voice not matching the tenderness of your words. “No, you didn’t injure me. It is quite a pleasant ache. It reminds me of last night, you being, you know,” she trailed off, her tone was seductive fading in to shyness, stopping before she could utter the words inside of me. She just put on one hell of a show, but was bashful talking about you fucking her last night. Even with her new-found confidence, she was still shy to talk about the actual act of intimacy but had no problems referencing it.

“Good.” You let out a shaky breath at her answer. She assured that you hadn’t wounded her and that she was fine. Brienne kept watching you, still quite confused of your flat tone but decided not to dawdle on it, you had your reasons. She didn’t fold up her discarded underwear, instead she just kicked it in the direction of her clothes on the floor, she was impatient; wanting to be in there with you as soon as possible.

She had dreamt of this moment since you first passed each other, it was mostly because you looked at her with such admiration but also because of her mishap. She had accidentally walked in on you getting dressed after your bath, her high honor conditioning her reflexes causing her to look away the second she saw your bare back, but for a split second she had seen your naked silhouette, and that fraction of a second was enough to have her a blushing mess.

That one millisecond was enough to keep her mind distracted during the late nights as she laid in her quarters. Throughout the day however, she would keep her thoughts busy with her knightly tasks. Even though she had done them hundreds of times to the point where they had become muscle memory, she just kept going over the process and the order over and over again. Every single day, until night fall when she let her mind run rampant in the privacy her own four walls but even Brienne had her moments of weakness.

There were times, always over the course of your suppers, that you would smile at her in that very special way, causing the taller woman’s mantra to falter, if only for a second. This allowed the image of your wet bare back to intrude the blondes thoughts, a flash of skin flooding her mind. It was a short interference but it was enough for Brienne to chide herself for invading your privacy. She felt perverted, depraved, and immoral for seeing you undressed, even if it wasn’t on purpose.

Even after your late night rendezvous’, she kept her thoughts strictly professional in public, still having a reputation to uphold. She did allow her imagination to have more leeway, the image of your naked form on repeat as she ran her hands all over your back during your heated make-out sessions.

She was done with the crossing of paths, the morning pecks always leaving something more to be desired. She had even begun waking up earlier to increase the chance of you still being in the bath when she arrived but on those days you polished your armor before bathing, meaning you entered as she left. Finally, you were both here at the same time, no one was getting ready to leave. Brienne’s wish was about to come true, after a year of misses she had finally hit the bullseye.

Small waves hit your submerged form as Brienne entered the pool, taking a seat next to you. She leaned her head against your shoulder, and you wrapped your arm around hers, pulling her close to you. Enjoying the rare moment of public intimacy along side each other, it other wise being confined to the privacy of your quarters. It was a change of pace compared to your usual meetings, almost domestic.

“I was very sad waking up to an empty bed this morning,” Brienne spoke up, her head vibrating against your shoulder, “I was hoping to return the favor you gave me last night.” Your eyes shot open as you felt a hand on your thigh. Slowly moving up to where you had touched yourself mere minutes ago.

Your demeanor completely changed once you realized what Brienne was initiating, she wanted to touch you, and you let her. “Is that so? Well then, allow me.” You grabbed a hold of the hand on your thigh and guided it to your cunt, releasing a sigh when you felt her strong fingers on your clit. God, she was so good with her hands.

She hadn’t expected you to be so direct, shocked at how fast you had switched. She noticed that your daily attitude completely differed when it came to sexual intimacy. It was almost like you traded personalities, you becoming dominant, her taking the role of submissive.

As a female knight she needed to appear dominant in her appearance, otherwise men would walk all over her. If she didn’t, they might undermine her, not listen to her, or respect her even less than they already did. Her height unquestionably helped intimidate people into submission. You didn’t have that luxury, so you had to rely on your other qualities. You were more careful, using your intelligence and wit to get people to respect you, the title helped.

That completely shifted once it got heated, Brienne became the careful one, watching and learning. She absolutely loved being dominated by you, especially after doing so herself all day long. It was a welcome change in your usual dynamic.

You, knowing what you were doing having spent a lot of time studying and practicing in Dorne, would take the role as the dominant one. Showing Brienne ways to make you tick, neck kisses being a thing she excelled at once shown.

Brienne’s fingers carefully worked against your clit, intrigued by the way you writhed and pulsed under her touch. She had shifted her head so that her mouth was on your pulse point, kissing and licking. Her hand was so agonizingly slow in its movements, you didn’t know if it was on purpose or not but you needed release, and you needed it fast.

“Spread your legs,” you breathed out, voice tip-toeing on the verge of a moan. Brienne removed her head from your shoulder at your request, and spread her legs. Drawing her hand away, she watched with curious eyes as you climbed on to her. Settling one of your legs in between hers and one on the side, straddling her thigh.

She watched you with an intense look, enthralling eyes following your every move. Sinking down on to her leg you began rolling your hips on her broad, strong, muscular thigh. Brienne’s hands were sitting at her sides, she didn’t know what to do with them; so you assisted. Grabbing her hands, you placed them on your hips so she could help guide your movements.

Your hands held on to her shoulders, nails digging in to her skin as you fruitfully held your moans back, knowing that the acoustics would give away your current activity if someone were to walk by. The knight beneath you just stared, completely mesmerized, mouth slightly open as she released quiet whimpers at the feeling of your heat against her wet leg.

Looking down at her through half-lidded eyes, you saw the moment she noticed your chest was eye-level with her. Your breasts were wet and the way they moved as you continued your actions had Brienne bewitched. She was as in a trance, her mouth watered and she licked her lips. Smiling sensually, you brought a hand up to her head, stroking the now damp hair. “Is there something you want? You only need to ask.” Your voice was husky, dripping in sex, and sickly sweet.

Brienne looked up at you and gulped. Her voice low, filled with wonder. “May I?” Strong hands slowly started to move from your hips, up your waist, before stopping under the curve of your breasts.

“You’re such a good little thing, asking for permission. Of course you may.” At your confirmation she moved fast, her hands cupping your breasts, fondling them, loving how easily they fit in her big hands. She took one of your nipples in her mouth, the other one being worshipped by her calloused fingers.

A strained moan escaped your lips at the feeling of her talented tongue and fingers on your sensitive skin. Your restraint wavered for a millisecond before you dug your nails even harder in to Brienne’s skin, continuously stroking her hair, careful not to hurt her pretty little head. You were almost painfully drawing your lips together, but she had already heard the inviting sound that you made.

She grew confident, flexing her thigh muscles to harden your grinding surface. It was an entirely new sensation and you couldn’t hold it back anymore. A dark and sensual moan exited your mouth as your hips sped up their movements, riding her thigh for dear life. Your actions caused waves to form in the water, hitting the sides of the bath with a splash.

The blondes large hands snaked around your back and you felt her nails push in to your skin, dragging her fingers down from your shoulders to your lower back; groaning at the new sensation of pain working in tandem with pleasure. The amount of pressure Brienne had applied as she scratched your back was intentional, she wanted to leave marks, just as you had done on her.

The hand that had been mindlessly stroking her hair grabbed hold of the blonde locks, pulling her head away from your chest. She was startled at the sudden interruption, her eyes moving to meet your gaze. Your pupils were dilated, darkened by the over-whelming desire, watching her with a smirk on your lips.

“You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you? Open your mouth, slut. I have something for you.” Your voice was strained, breathy moans mixed with disgustingly sweet fake ridicule.

Brienne hesitantly opened her mouth unsure about your reasoning. Releasing a whimper as she watched you spit in her mouth and at the same time as your saliva landed on her tongue, you pushed the knee that was between her legs forward; making contact with her center.

You mocked her whimper as she released a growling moan, not expecting the sudden pressure. She was closer to orgasm than she thought, having watched your performance had her extremely riled up and she could already feel the same coil from last night tightening in her stomach. You loved the look of corrupted purity on her face as your leg moved with your hips, pressing and rubbing against her clit.

The strange feeling of having someone else’s saliva in her mouth as she was being pleasured made her brain short-circuit for a second as she sat there with her mouth still open, small whiny groans coming out; unsure what to do.

“Swallow it.” The hand that had been holding on to Brienne’s shoulder was brought to her chin, encouraging her to close her mouth. You watched with heavy eyes as she swallowed, her fiery blue eyes staring right back at you. The knee between her thighs kept working her and she knew she was on the edge, orgasm threatening to spill over. By your heavy breaths she knew you were almost there too, so she held out, wanting to reach climax together.

The sight of her completely under your command, mouth open in pleasure, breathy moans coming out drove you over the edge, the coil in your stomach tightening and snapping at the same time as Brienne’s. You threw your head back as you felt the orgasm rip through your entire body, muscles tensing.

The woman beneath you screamed your name as she came, your moans mingling as you reached your zenith in unison. It was passion and intimacy on a whole different level, used as a way to convey your love; wanting the other to feel as good as you did.

What started as a hot and dirty sexual interaction had ended with you and your knight making love. It was beautiful, affectionate, and romantic.

Brienne’s hands flew to hold on to your waist to keep you steady and herself grounded, her mouth coming to your shoulder to muffle her groans as pleasure tore apart her body from the inside out. You felt as she gently sunk her teeth in to your skin and you yelped, releasing a loud moan as you stopped the movement of your hips.

Realizing you still had your armor to polish before meeting the blonde woman for breakfast, you climbed off of her, Brienne releasing a whimper at the removal of your knee, already missing the sensation of your wet skin against hers. Taking a deep breath you collected yourself before clearing your throat.

“I’ll see you at breakfast.” Switching personalities, Brienne smirked as she watched you climb out of the water. Humming in delight when she saw your back, red nail marks running down the length of it.

Feeling her eyes on you as you quickly dried yourself and put your clothes on, covering up the red bite mark on your shoulder and your scratched-up back.

“See you later!” You could hear the cocky smile on her lips as she called out after you. Speedily marching out of the bathhouse, leaving a smug Brienne behind.

———

Half an hour later your armor was polished and strapped on to your figure. Your mind wandered to the session that had occurred just thirty minutes ago and you blushed at the memory. You and Brienne had been bold displaying such physical intimacy outside of your quarters, but the possibility of getting caught had made it so much more filthy and erotic.

It being Brienne who had initiated it made it even more exhilarating in a way. You were impressed and intrigued, she had never displayed such riskiness before. She had wanted you so bad that she didn’t care where you were, the need to hear you moan and to watch you unravel in front of her was stronger than the need to keep it in the bedroom.

You secured your scabbard to your hip before taking a quick look-over to make sure you were presentable. The shine of your armor was blinding and you grimaced, wondering if you had gone a little overboard. The edges of your sword were sharpened and shiny, the grip decorated with various carvings; the symbol of your house sitting on the pommel. It had been a gift from your father given to you when you were knighted, specially requested and custom made for you. It was quite similar to Brienne’s hilt in a way.

Deeming yourself fit to be seen, you straightened your back, opening your door and stepping out in to the hall. Closing the door behind you, you turned to walk towards the mess hall but almost ran into an armor clad Brienne, stopping yourself at the very last second, as she stood outside, waiting. Her chin held high and hands ceremoniously clutched behind her back. The messy and damp hair from earlier had been dried and neatly combed back, she looked so elegant and noble. Her dark armor had been polished, the tiny nicks from hits scattered all over the steel plates were accented by the shiny surface.

“By the Gods Ser Brienne, I almost walked in to you! That could’ve ended in injury had I not halted myself. Announce your presence next time, please.” Looking up at the taller woman you smiled, her usual unemotional expression on her face cracking for a second to give you a one back before falling back to a impartial one.

“Apologies, Ser. I was hoping to accompany you to breakfast. After last night and this morning, I thought we might as well.” Her face and voice was empty of any tells, keeping up formalities in public. You could see her lips twitch, a smirk threatening to break through at the mention of your escapades.

“I’d be honored.” With a quick step you were standing next to the taller knight, and you made your way to the mess hall together, large authoritative strides sounding, your footsteps synced. You formally greeted those you passed on your path with ‘morning’, a nod or a bow. Keeping Brienne at arms length was torture, having to hold back the urge to grab her hand, to pull her closer to you.

You hadn’t really discussed the manner of your relationship. There was a silent agreement stating it was probably best to keep it a secret, mostly for appearances, but also for safety. If someone caught wind of your non-traditional relationship it could be used against you. If someone wanted to hurt you or Brienne they could easily take advantage of your relationship, a weakness used as a bargaining chip. Both you and her were strong, but if stripped from your weapon there was only so much either of you could do.

There was also the issue of respect, your duties were dependent on peoples trust and opinions of you. Barely having enough respect as it was, unwillingly harbored by the men because of your higher rank and title, you couldn’t afford to lose any of it. If you did and your trainees started to defy you, it could have fatal consequences. The safety of the people and your obligations came first, both you and Brienne knew this, which meant neither of you could afford to be self-absorbed and display your love.

So you both understood that it was best to keep it under wraps, but sometimes, like now, you wished you could scream about how much you loved her. You wanted to show her off to the world, talk about how proud you were of her. She deserved to be bragged about, deserved to be talked about with such care and such love, you yearned to extend such a basic act of courtesy.

However, you kept your mouth shut, walking along side her as if you didn’t fuck her last night, as if you hadn’t made love in the bath that same morning, as if you didn’t love her with your entire being to the extent that you felt like your heart could explode.

You could detect the faint smell of her, soap from the bath mingled with the strong aroma of the polish and the fragrance of fresh grass that was undoubtedly Brienne’s. It was a weird combination of scents but it was comforting nonetheless.

Turning one last corner, the taller knight pushed the doors open, entering the large gathering hall with you on her tail. You followed Brienne through the crowds of people, her tall form serving as a beacon so you never lost track of where she was.

You removed your sheath and leaned it against the edge of the table before you took your normal seat across from her at your usual table. She sat down shortly after doing the same thing, her hands placed flat on the surface. Looking at her with eyes full of yearning and adoration as your hand longed to reach out and grab hers.

She stared back, face impersonal but her magnificent blue eyes betray her. There was an almost remorseful look in her eyes, there was no need for her to feel guilt, yet she did. It wasn’t her fault that you couldn’t show any form of affection in public, somehow she felt like it was. Both of you knew that giving in to the urge to grab the others hand would end poorly, it wasn’t exactly an act that could pass as platonic comfort now was it.

It could have if you and Brienne had shown any form of physical closeness in public but you hadn’t, meaning such an act would stick out in the outwardly professional friendship you had tried so hard to maintain for public relations. It had come back to bite you in the arse, knowing not even a quick graze of fingers would be overlooked.

You were the one to break eye-contact, tearing your eyes away from her magnetic gaze. Brienne’s face remained disinterested, eyes looking down at her food and then back to you. She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it shortly after. Words just wouldn’t come out. She tried again, words failing her once again.

“You don’t have to say anything. It’s fine,” Brienne barely heard your mumble over the bustling crowd. You had started eating and had noticed the knights inability to speak. She had wanted to apologize, say sorry for a situation she had no command over, an act you couldn’t allow her to perform.

It was ridiculous how she wanted to take the blame for something she couldn’t influence, something she had no way of controlling. You offered her a small smile as you continued eating, gesturing to her untouched breakfast before speaking, more clearer this time. “You should start eating. We have training soon and we can’t be late.” The tall blonde didn’t utter a single word, she just looked down at her food and started eating.

———

Training went on as usual, assisting Brienne, sparring, trying your very best to not stare at her as she barked orders; you failing miserably. The ‘conversation’ from your earlier meal was still fresh in your mind and you wondered if you had been too harsh towards her by not allowing her to apologize; but hastily realized just how ridiculous the mere thought of it was and that the actual uttering of said words would be preposterous. You couldn’t permit her to ask for forgiveness, not for this.

Glances were exchanged during the session as they usually were, but these were different. There was a stronger sense of longing, a more lustful one derived from finally knowing what the other sounded and looked like at the height of ecstasy. Whether she wanted them to or not, Brienne’s gorgeous blues showed more than her stern face did, eyes filled with desire and regret.

The urge to drag you away and let you devour her fought with the urge to ask for pardon. Indecisiveness spread in her body like a bad rumor and she wondered how long she would be able to keep herself away from you in public.

You took one last yearning gaze at each other before parting ways to continue your daily assignments.

It was during your last errand that a raven carrying a message arrived for you. It landed on a fence post nearby, cawing to get your attention. Approaching the bird as it watched you with its dark eyes. You rolled out the small paper and immediately identified your family’s stationary, ghosting a hand over the familiar stamp of your house.

Reading through the message made your heart drop. This could not be happening, surely it wasn’t real, surely your mind playing tricks. You had only been here a year, had only just felt the incinerating touch of your Brienne. She had placed all of her trust in you, trusting that you would not leave her, that you wouldn’t break her heart. You had promised her that much with your oath. Fuck, your oath. She held honor, righteousness and honesty above everything else, she was going to despise you for this.

You read through the message over and over again, tears welling in your eyes as you willed the words on the parchment to transform; but they never did. The words stayed the same and the fact that you had to leave never changed.

You had to leave tonight, and by doing so it meant leaving her behind as well. You couldn’t tell her, how were you supposed to tell her? It would break her heart, but you couldn’t just leave without saying goodbye, she deserved more. Either way, her heart would be crushed, there was no easy way; you just hoped she would understand and not abhor you.

You quickly marched to the throne room, needing to notify your sudden departure; you had sworn an oath after all. You explained to Brienne’s Grace the emergency of the situation and they understood, stating that your services were no longer needed. You gave a quick nod and strode to your chambers to pack up your things and to leave your love a message.

———

When you didn’t show up for dinner in the evening Brienne grew worried, you were never late. Abandoning her seat at your usual table she set out to find you. Frantically searching, letting her composure slip, distress taking over once she reached your chamber, finding it empty.

Panic settled in when she saw all of your belongings gone, you were leaving her as well, weren’t you. All the time you had spent together was a lie, all the sweet nothings you had whispered to her, all of the embraces, everything was a lie. All a part of the forever on-going ruse to ridicule her.

She had given you everything: her heart, mind, soul and flesh, and you took it. She felt naked, exposed, humiliated. Embarrassed of how rapid she had been to trust you with your compliments, your lingering glances and touches. Nausea settled in when she realized how you had sworn yourself to her, she had high integrity and valued other people with the same honorable qualities as her. Apparently, that wasn’t you.

Taking a step in to your room, she looked around, trying to find some sort of idea of where you had gone. Her eyes landed on a note, it was neatly folded, placed upon the empty desk in your chambers. Large steps carried her over to the wooden surface and she gracefully picked up the piece of paper. Unfolding it, tears welled up in her eyes as she read your beautiful handwriting.

My Dear Brienne,

I wished to tell you this in person, but I could not bring myself to do so, I would not be able to bear the look on your face, it would break my heart.

It is with a heavy soul that I must tell you this, though I wish I did not have to. If I could, I would stay in your arms and by your side forever as your knight and partner. Sadly, I am unable to for the near future because I must leave Winterfell.

A raven arrived for me this afternoon from my family’s maester in Dorne. My father has fallen ill and I must return to be by his side. As his only child, and as a knight, it is my duty to honor my family.

Know this, my darling. I meant every single word I have spoken, every kiss, every touch. Every breath I take will be for you, and until I return to your side and into your arms, you will always be in my thoughts.

For I will long for you forever, I will touch your soul forever, and I will say your name forever. This is unfortunately the moment where we must let go, until our souls are reunited once again.

My dear sweet Brienne, you are the embodiment of beauty, grace and handsomeness. The way you carry yourself is so robust, yet your soul is one of the most gentle ones I have met.

From the moment I saw you I was captivated by you, you intrigued me and I only fell more and more in love with you for every second that passed.

If you are reading this during our usual dinner time then I am still here. I wish to see you one last time before I depart.

I am by the stables until sunset. Come find me, please.

I am eternally yours, my love, Ser Brienne of Tarth.

Brienne couldn’t hold her tears back anymore, droplets falling, staining the paper. She sobbed as she read your carefully crafted words. Eyes lingering over your signature before she ran to the stables, hoping she wasn’t too late.

———

You anxiously watched as the sun sunk further and further down the evening sky. Hoping that Brienne would see your letter in time was a foolish idea, but you knew her. You knew that the second you were a no-show at supper she would come looking for you. She would find the letter, read it and come here. But as the sun hit the horizon, the hope disappeared.

Maybe she had read it but was so upset with you that she didn’t want to see you, or maybe she was still reading it, or maybe she was sitting at your dinner table waiting for you. All of the circumstances in which Brienne could miss seeing you off ran through your mind at rapid pace.

You had given yourself over to despair as you fastened your sleeping sack to your saddle, she really wasn’t coming. A sigh left your mouth, materializing as fog as your hot breath reacted to the cold winter air. You should’ve just have told her, because then you would have at least been able to see her, one last time.

You heard the commotion before you saw it, heavy footsteps running towards you. A familiar sight came around the corner, your heart shattering at the tear stained face. Brienne was distraught, her usual calm and collected demeanor nowhere to be seen.

Her eyes immediately locked on to you where you stood, securing the last strap on the saddle. She called out for you, her voice breaking as she sprinted towards you.

“Brienne.” Breathing out her name in relief, you turned towards her so she could take you in to her embrace. She had read your letter. You felt the familiar burning sensation behind your eyes as the tears welled up; allowing them to fall freely. You nearly threw yourself in to Brienne’s arms when she was close enough to you.

You held each other as it were the last time, not knowing when the next opportunity might come. “When I saw your room empty I thought you had abandoned me, I thought it was all a lie, but then I read your letter. I’m so sorry for doubting you,” she started rambling, words stumbling over each other in a desperate attempt to say whatever she needed to say.

Her voice was weak, arms holding on to you for dear life, “I am selfish for suggesting this but stay here. Stay with me. Please.” The please was gut wrenching, her voice broke, burdened by all of her pain, all her love, all the ache.

You felt your heart break at her plea, you didn’t want to leave her, you would stay by her side your entire life if she asked you to. However, you didn’t have a choice this time. “Stay.” It was so quiet, weak, almost like a squeak, but you heard it.

You had to force yourself to let go of Brienne, looking up at her with tearful eyes. No one had never seen her like this before, eyes red, tears glistening on her face in the setting sun. Her emotions and heart out on display for anyone to see.

“You know I can’t do that. It’s a matter of honor, I know you understand,” you placed a hand on her chest, “deep down, I know you do. For your heart is the most honorable and righteous one I have ever had the pleasure of loving.” You smiled up at her, bringing your hands up to wipe away her tears, before settling them her cheeks.

“Then let me come with you, I will request to be removed from my services and accompany you to Dorne,” you knew her words to be true, it was heard in her voice. She would drop everything in the fragment of a second had you asked her to, that was just the kind of person she had become. The person currently standing before you was not the coherent and composed Ser Brienne of Tarth anymore, it was just Brienne who had let her heart take over her knightly persona, for the first time ever.

You smiled up lovingly at her, you desperately wanted to say yes, to have her join you, “You are needed here, my darling,” but you couldn’t.

“There are plenty of other knights who would kill for my position, they’ll find someone to fill my spot,” her words were clawing at you, hands fidgeting on your back trying to find something to hold on to, only finding the cloth of your fur cloak.

“You know that’s not true. They’d never be able to find someone else that would live up to the example you’ve set here,” the standards and discipline she harbored had raised expectations, meaning if she were to leave, her absence would leave a massive void, and it would be noticeable if some inferior man tried to fill it.

“So this is it? I’m just supposed to let you leave?” She stared down at you in bewilderment, voice so small and defeated.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to. I will never stop thinking of you, and we will return to each other’s arms, for I am meant for you, and you are meant for me,” you withdrew your hands, taking a step back, “I will send ravens for you, and my oath stands the same, I am yours forever. Forever devoted to you, I shall not break this promise. This I swear.” You bowed, a gesture of knightly promise, a formality you knew Brienne would appreciate. It was not only empty words, for honor gave them the weight she needed to soothe her aching heart.

She could only watch as you mounted your horse. Taking one last look at her before riding away, leaving a weeping and wailing Brienne behind, your name falling from her lips, pleading you to stay. It fell on all too aware ears as you rode further and further, her screams fading away in to the evening sky, until the only thing heard were your own sobs.

———

Follow-up: Kisses of Fire

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