jjmichaels

[jjmichaels]

I don’t think anyone understands. The lasting effects are substantial. And the pain does not go away. It feels as if I am reliving the trauma once more and it has become my life. How do you escape? How do you move on when the adversity follows you at every turn? And they will tell me to be strong, to do things that they could not even imagine doing. But what if I am not strong enough? What if I concede? I do not want to. But again I hurt. It is best not to have credence in fables. What we know is what has been shown. Trauma. I should not have to explain myself to anyone. When I do I am reminded of what happened. Or what didn’t. I am confronted with trauma, once more. If I could change the past I would. But I can’t. So does that mean life in a fragmented future? Perhaps in perpetuity. You wouldn’t understand. They wouldn’t. To have all eyes on you, to feel you are being watched. I think they see me as a monster. But I am not. I hear voices, whispers. And they make me feel excluded, I am an outcast. They do not know. I shouldn’t care what they think, but I do. I am not the person you see. Although I am not so sure I am the person I see. Maybe a disguise? I hurt. My vices are my friends, I say to myself. And it is scary what I take solace in. Death. Because it frequents my mind. Maybe addiction is an excuse to speed up the process? To justify the idea that life is better when my eyes are closed? But I do not want to die. A big part of me wants to succeed and has hope. But I cannot escape my past it seems. And that is why I hurt. Is there hope? Or is that too a mere fable?

#writer #story #short story #writers on tumblr #author #book #pain #mental health

[jjmichaels]

I am conflicted, as it feels one sided. Not a single person understands me, and I feel misunderstood. In my mind, secretly a battle is being fought. One were evil often overpowers good. And On the outside, I smile, I laugh, but on the inside there is nothing but cold and darkness. What’s worse is that the people closest to me, the ones that I deeply confide in, they frequently blow off the obvious pleas for help. This “evil” version of me, he is dark. And he is insensitive. I think about death every day. How easy it would be… these intrusive thoughts are some that I am not comfortable with thinking. But I do. I do so because the “good” version of me, he will push those thoughts away into my subconscious. So that I may not think about them, but I do. Because no matter how far they’re pushed away; they’re always right there. In the shadows, lurking, preying. He wants me to be his. To take me. I’m very afraid. I’m afraid that it will get so bad, I may actually do it. I may actually succeed this time. It scares me. Desperate cries for help, and they go unanswered. I think all it leaves me with is loneliness and a propensity to listen to these thoughts. It is an excuse to listen to them. Because I am alone. This scares me, and I’m not so sure what can be done… I’m sorry.

#mental health #depressing shit #depression #tw depressing stuff #sad thoughts #sad #sadnees #therapy #anxiety #lost #darkness #dark #death #fearful #psychology #psychologist #hurting #hurt #suicide

[jjmichaels]

I approach every relationship and interaction with caution, acknowledging the unpredictable nature of people. I understand that what I give is seldom reciprocated. So I believe that life is meant to be personally explored and experienced. If our paths happen to cross, I don't expect them to do so again. Therefore, it is important for me to maintain emotional detachment from the world. While some may argue that this approach lacks sincerity, I find it to be the most realistic perspective in a flawed world. As the world we inhabit, along with the interactions we have, they are transient by nature. And It would be such a great pity to waste our a fleeting existence.

[jjmichaels]

There was no escape

And as you see me

I am a figment

A pigment of difference

A limit to vision

Far

I am far from healing

Hurt

Where there is no escape

[jjmichaels]

Hurt

And yes I’ve fallen

But I have not gotten back up

The reason, a boulder

And for that I am stuck

Such weight

distills the taste

Of the pain that I have felt

Since the 1st grade

And when I have tried to move it

There wasn’t any movement

Only a shadow

one deeply consuming

Where there was no wobble,

There was no sway

Where there was no coddle

There was no raise

There was no escape

And as you see me

I am a figment

A pigment of difference

A limit to vision

Far

I am far from healing

Hurt

Though it could be worse.

[jjmichaels]

Unless you have something valuable to bring to the table; you’re not in a position to bargain for what you want. When a girl says “I want to be spoiled” or “my love language is gifts”, she sounds utterly ridiculous. Such treatment is reserved for women only who we (as men) deem to be valuable. And what have you done to show that you’re valuable? What do you bring to the table (in terms of value), other than 🐈? Literally every women has a 🐈, so you’re not really building a solid case for why you deserve that treatment. And so this can’t be something that can be demanded at the start of a relationship, not if you don’t have anything to offer.

And any guy, I don’t really care who he is, if he subjects you to princess treatment off rip, he is a fucking simp and he will be taken advantage of. But that is on him. The fact remains; if you (as a women) have done nothing to receive princess treatment and you demand it, you, my poor girl, are living a fallacy. And a vacuous one at that. I do not understand this generation of women. And perhaps I never will.

Big fucking L. 👎🏾

[jjmichaels]

“To get where you want to go in life, you must adopt the view that whatever is going on in your world—good, bad, or nothing—is something caused by you.”

Excerpt From

The 10X Rule

Grant Cardone

[jjmichaels]

Do not lose sight of the objective. Your objective, never lose sight of what’s important; of what you want in this life. Everything you do should cater to that objective, as everything else, does not matter; because it is not important. Nothing is, except for that objective. Do not lose sight of the objective.

[jjmichaels]

Be careful of who you give your time to. Make sure that everyone who you allow into your circle is bringing you some kind of value. For if we spend time fraternizing with people who don’t bring us value; we waste precious time and energy that we cannot afford to waste. You are a reflection of who you allow yourself around; remember that. If you decide to surround yourself around people who don’t aspire to be anything in this world, you’ll likely find yourself falling short of the goals that you set for yourself. But if you instead seek out people who are ambitious, people who will stop at nothing to succeed, I guarantee success in your life will be inevitable.

[jjmichaels]

“Someone said to me recently, ‘It is clear that you have made enough money to live comfortably; why are you still pushing?’ It is because I am obsessed with the next breath of accomplishment. I am compulsive about leaving a legacy and making a positive footprint on the planet. I believe that it is my ethical obligation to create success for myself, my family, my company, and my future.”

- Grant Cardone

[jjmichaels]

Stop dating for potential; if someone is a piece of shit now, they’ll be a piece of shit 30 years from now. People don’t change unless they want to, and even then, it’s often on their terms. Meaning you could never possibly expect someone to meet your same standards of growth when they won’t prioritize that same standard. The best thing you can do is to date someone who already prioritizes your standards of growth; that way, you can together, reach those heights and you won’t be marrying for potential; you won’t be marrying the idea of someone one day miraculously getting better; you’ll be marrying someone who wants the same things out of life as you do. And you will be better for it.

[jjmichaels]

“Anyone that suggests to me to do less is either not a real friend or very confused!” —Grant Cardone

[jjmichaels]

Fuck the bars, fuck the clubs, fuck the expensive attire; what you need to be doing is investing in assets. And once you make enough money off those assets, live that lavish life that you desire! Spoil yourself! But make sure you first have the means to do so. Buy assets, not liabilities.

[jjmichaels]

This is going to sound weird but I do not like when someone calls me smart; When you call me smart it implies that I was born with the knowledge that I currently hold; that from birth I've "just known things". Which, is most obviously, not the case. When you call me smart you are downplaying the effort that I have put into self-development; the long hours, the weekends I've dedicated to improving and expanding upon the quality of my life. I am quote-on-quote "smart" because of the books I've read, the videos I've watched, and the content I've consumed. I personally wouldn't use the term "smart" to define the thoughts that I think but rather "educated"; because with the denomination not only is my scintillating wit exposed, but also, my passion for improvement; my raw desire for self-betterment. So I am not as smart, as I am educated. Love.

[jjmichaels]

Perfectionism 

I'm not sure what'd I'd say to the college graduate who is serving 25 years to life, I'm not sure how he feels or what is going through his mind right now. I can imagine that as a child, he was ambitious, goal-oriented, and talented in his own right. So it would seem otherwise unfair to assume that he is inherently evil, and even more so, that he was wicked from the start. Society has aggressively implemented a standard of perfection, a caliber of excellence that, through irrational propaganda is maintained, or rather seen as sustainable. This of course is a falsity; an idealist attitude that is completely illogical. Darwinian evolution has indeed endowed creation with certain modifications that help the organism thrive within his or her environment. However, as it would seem, Darwinian evolution does not postulate perfection as the end result of evolutionary change but instead suggests, Imperfect changes overtime. And so, I turn to the propagandist; the traditionalist that govern our societies. It would seem that perfection in the purest sense is unreachable; unattainable as it is feigned as an achievable standard in most modern societies. We are told at a young age to go to school, to get a good job, and then to marry someone whose socioeconomic status is higher than our own. Why is this? Because this is the golden standard of course, this is the realm that the propagandist/idealist want you to live in. They want you to believe that if you have all of these things, you will be fine. You will be respected and you will be inevitably propitious. This should of course go without saying, that the previous statement is quite obviously fallacious. If Charles Darwin, the English naturalist, geologist, biologist, and he same man who brought us the evolutionary theory of natural selection, disagrees with the purest sense of perfection; then it would be safe to say that perfection is an unreachable standard. It is absurd to assume that once you'd reach this perfectionist state, you'd be unscathed by the perils of this mundane world. Suppose you did reach society's golden standard, and then suppose that you are like my friend in the beginning of this post; a college graduate, who, at one point had it all. But because of one simple mistake, he is now perennially condemned by the very same society that had once praised him for his perfection. This is a story of abandonment, of shame, and condemnation. A world that will reject you once you fall short of the golden standard. And you get one chance, one shot at reaching that standard, if you cannot, you are thereby classified as "unworthy" and your right to respect, to love, and to happiness is taken away from you by the propagandist. We live in a confusing world. But, we shouldn't let that stop us from trying to maneuver in it. We do not ever have to follow the status-quo, or agree with the connotations that are derived from being "perfect". What we can do is understand ourselves, learn from our mistakes, and persevere beyond any measure we'd ever thought was possible. Love yours, because it is apparent, that society, will not. Love.

Thank you.

#story #storyline #read #reading #perserverance #resiliency #empower #empowering #blog #blog positivity #positive #positivity #inspirational quotes #inspiration #love #selfcare #selflove #selfworth #life lessons #life

[jjmichaels]

All we’re trying to do is make the world a better place. That’s it. With everything thats going on; with everything that goes on, the world could use a little pick me up. Let’s be nice to each other, let’s use kindness as a weapon to fight evil and hate. Let’s make the world better, by making each other better. One day, at a time. 🙏🏾❤️

#improvement #motivation #self love #mental health #mentalwellness #encouragement #growth #manifestation #mental heath awareness #mental ill health #selfcare #life #love #manifest #self #selflove #selfworth #encourage #encouraging words #guidance #tumblr #tumblrgirl

[jjmichaels]

Direction

To live life without direction is to live it lost. And if you’re lost, then you won’t ever get anywhere. And that should be the goal right? To get somewhere? If you don’t wanna get anywhere, how do you know where you’re going? If you don’t know where you’re going, you’re going to find yourself in places that threaten your well-being; Places that take away from your development and ultimately lead to your demise. But if you’re ok with that, keep living hastily and change nothing. But if you want to grow and if you want to excel; choose your direction.

#improvement #motivation #self love #mental health #mentalwellness #encouragement #growth #manifestation #mental heath awareness #mental ill health #selfcare #life #love #manifest #self #selflove #selfworth #encourage #encouraging words #guidance