bonniewame - Tumblr blog

bonniewame · 2 days

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I split myself open to bleed; but in a blinding act of terror, I stitched myself back together before the final drop of red had slipped out my wound.

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bonniewame · 7 days

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I need to stop coming up with ideas, all the world's pens will run out of ink.

#writer #writing #creative writing #on writing #writeblr #writer stuff

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bonniewame · 8 days

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Sorry I haven't texted you back, my fingers got stuck in the space between consciousness and completely shutting down. I feel my nails brushing against the darkness clouding against my vision, and the world spins; a dizzying sensation in which I hope will overcome me, if only to allow me freedom from this expectation of which I have incapability to meet.

I do apologise for disappointing you, though. Not many people can be kind when they're drowning; they're too busy scrambling for air.

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bonniewame · 21 days

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born to write the middle part, forced to write the beginning and ending 😭

born to write the beginning and ending, forced to write the middle part.

#writeblr #writing #on writing #writers #writing community #writer #creative writing #writer stuff

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bonniewame · 29 days

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Writer's block is kicking me DOWN, people. DAMN. It has GOT ME. 😭

#writer #writing

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bonniewame · 1 month

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I don't feel loved, but not because I am not loved. But because I don't know whether it's right.

You smile at me? Why smile. Is there some malice you hold between the togetherness of your teeth as you grin at me with crinkles under your beautiful, pretty eyes - I'm so lucky and undeserving - that hide depths of irritation for my presence?

You talk to me? Why converse, when my voice only proves to move you towards annoyance that sets your lips into thin lines, and drags your eyes around in arches? I cannot understand where your sarcasm and seriousness have started and ended, and this distresses me. Would you like me to talk more about it? No, no, I shan't; I talk far too much.

You love me? Why save me. Don't lie, I'll understand. I'm not anyone here's favourite, I sit quietly until called upon - why call? - I ache for love, and yet I'm not sure I'm even liked.

I'm too cheery. Too loud. Too quiet. Too Much. Too obsessive. Too clingy.

I'm sorry I touched your arm, I've been so desperate for you to reach out for me that I've overindulged myself and I apologise for it. I'm sorry I won't leave your side, I'm quite scared of people and you're warm and I have named you Comfort. I'm sorry, I really am, for loving to talk to you, because conversations with you are soothing to the chest, and I like you and your passions, and I hope to talk to you forever if only to make you laugh.

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bonniewame · 1 month

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Understand that I place a small piece of myself (a half of my soul) in each and every one of my characters. So understand that when you are reading my story, you are reading my story. You are looking inside my mind, pointing at the wounds and recognising them with melancholy. It is a joy to write fiction, when fiction is the only thing separating you from reality.

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bonniewame · 1 month

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I'll answer your texts in a moment, darling, I'm spending time with my mind. She's rude and condescending, but they understands me well, don't they? There you go, I sent the message! Why haven't you replied? Oh mind, tell me why they haven't replied.

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bonniewame · 1 month

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And perhaps I tear myself apart because I feel comfort in sticking my cold hands inside the warmth of my mutilated chest. Perhaps I curl my fingers through the rips in my heart so my soul can heal slower, and with agony, because hurt is the only hug that feels right.

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bonniewame · 1 month

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I've finally started drafting up my story after putting it off for so long ^_^ !!! I'm so happy I could cry

#creative writing #writer #writing #on writing #writeblr

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bonniewame · 1 month

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Why is my name Irritation?

Why do I seethe at the mere prospect of concern for my day from people who care? Why is my face frozen in angry lines all the time? Why do I sneer at my mother who just wanted to know me, know the me of today? Why do I come home exhausted after pulling the skin of my lips up into a dashing smile that allows for my friends to soak into my appreciation, and be blind to the trepidation held between the two rough pieces of my heart?

Why do I act?

Why do I glare, and simmer in silent frustration? Why do I feel angry at nothing? Why do I feel sorry for myself after the fact? Why do I hate myself so much, this hatred burns me, and perhaps I am fire.

Perhaps I am a wreckage after the fact.

Perhaps I am mere Irritation.

(I am sorry, Mother, for changing my name so quickly, that it became not what you could adapt to, but something you had to learn to adapt with.)

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bonniewame · 2 months

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Because perhaps I liked the way those pink lines ran across my arm. Perhaps I enjoyed the aesthetic of it.

#creative writing #writer #writing #on writing #writeblr #poet #poetry #poems on tumblr #writer stuff #poem #original writing #writblr #writers on tumblr #writers and poets #writerscommunity #original poets on tumblr #original poetry #spilled ink

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bonniewame · 2 months

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save me some dignity, enemy.

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bonniewame · 2 months

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I love when I write, because I pour myself into each and every word like a paper cut left unattended too late, and people like it and relate to it and connect themselves with it in a personal and individualistic way, and it makes me feel less lonely knowing my faceless words are appreciated, but that other people have feelings as violent and unbearable as mine.

#creative writing #writer #writing #on writing #poet #poetry #writeblr #poems on tumblr #writer stuff #poem #original writing #writblr #writers on tumblr #writers and poets #writerscommunity #spilled ink

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bonniewame · 2 months

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I love when I'm loud. It replaces the quietness that consumes me when I have nothing left but myself. It replaces the frustration that sits so heavily in my stomach when someone disrupts my quiet with a loudness of their own, and my silence with a clenched jaw should be so deafening that they are forced to leave with a scoff and click of their tongue. I like when I'm loud because I'm a lot happier, and less angry, and I talk without saying much at all instead of saying nothing at all. I enjoy being loud because people like me. People don't like me quiet, seething, frustrated, and alone.

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bonniewame · 2 months

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How many more words do I have to stumble over until I understand I'm not built for this life.

#creative writing #writer #writing #on writing #poet #poetry #writeblr #poems on tumblr #writer stuff #poem

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bonniewame · 2 months

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Thoughts are feeble things, and yet I drown in them. I physically drown in them, and they rid me of my breath, choking me thoroughly. They are an ocean of words that keep dragging me under until I've lost hope in swimming up for air. I'm too frail for such a feeble task.

#creative writing #writer #writing #on writing #poet #poetry #writeblr #poems on tumblr #writer stuff #poem #poems #original poets on tumblr #original poetry #writers and poets #poets on tumblr #original poem #original writing #writblr #writers on tumblr

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