tea-thyme-tales

[tea-thyme-tales]

I officially moved into my own apartment about four months ago and while I am THRILLED to be away from my toxic family, I’ve also been in such a deep depression.

I still have furniture to put together, tubs to unpack, decorations to put up. It’s so overwhelming and I’m so exhausted. I’m screaming at myself internally on a constant basis to just get up and do something! But I just curl up in bed and sleep.

- today I finally managed to do a load of dishes after a week of letting them set there and I consider that a win but damn

#text post #chronic illness #mental health #about me #depression #doom apartment

[tea-thyme-tales]

This year has been a hellish nightmare in terms of health. On one hand I am thrilled to get actual diagnosis but on the other hand the symptoms fucking suck.

First a gene mutation (thanks parents), an auto immune disorder and now a fucking compression fracture in my spine 😭 this is what I get for being a klutz and then ignoring my pain for 2 years.

#text post #about me #delete later #my health #living with chronic pain #fuck my liiiiife

[tea-thyme-tales]

#izzy hands #nathan foad #lucius spriggs #con o'neill #our flag means death #queue #lucius ofmd #ofmd spoilers #queu

[tea-thyme-tales]

Stede's crew complaining about having no pirate flag

Stede: Alright! Arts and Crafts time everyone!

The crew:

#our flag means death #ofmd #queue #hbo #hbo max

[tea-thyme-tales]

i need to say this and i need to say it now. something about how nick nelson says "i love liking you" to charlie means a lot more than just "i like you" and i'll tell ya why

there are too many pieces of queer media that have the character hating the fact that they like the love interest. just straight up despising it. nick doesn't do that- he actively enjoys having a crush on charlie and wanting to be his boyfriend and it makes my heart so fucking warm oh my god

#heartstopper #heartstopper show #heartstopper netflix #heartstopper series #nick nelson #queue

[tea-thyme-tales]

#iconic

#heartstopperedit #netflix #heartstopper #charlie spring #nick nelson #heart stopper #netflix heartstopper #heartstopper spoilers #lgbt #lgbtq #my poor bisexual heart #bisexuality #lgbt+ representation

[tea-thyme-tales]

When you’re growing up in abusive family, you don’t feel like “oh, I’m being abused, this is wrong.” You don’t even think about that. Instead, you feel guilty all the time. You feel like a horrible person. You feel useless and wrong, like something is fundamentally wrong with you, and you deserve every bit of harm coming your way.

For every time your parents hurt you, you feel it was justified and you deserved and provoked it. You keep feeling horrible and guilty about everything you’ve done to cause it. Even when something extreme happens, you dismiss it with “they didn’t mean that” or “it was just once, in anger, so it doesn’t count.”

You feel like a burden, because you know these people don’t want you in their house, and you don’t feel capable of being independent, and it’s on you that you keep bothering them with your existence, and don’t seem to be capable of getting out of there. You don’t feel like you deserve food, shelter, clothes, or anything. You feel like a burden no matter what you do. You don’t feel welcome anywhere, you don’t feel like you have a home, like there’s a place on this planet where you could be loved and cared for. You doubt yourself so badly, you struggle to see any value in your existence and it becomes hard. You break down and feel weak and lost and like everyone else is leaving you behind. You don’t feel like a part of anything. You feel guilty for existing the way you are.

If you felt this, you’ve been thru abuse. There is no one on this world who is useless, unworthy of love, or deserves to feel so guilty and to be hurt all the time. These ideas didn’t come from you, but from how horribly you were treated. Feeling this way is not normal. You did not deserve to feel this way.

#child abuse #toxic parents #long term abuse #emotional abuse #psychological abuse #trauma #toxic family #abuse victim #cptsdhealing #c ptsd #realizations in therapy #text #text post #tw: abuse #queue

[tea-thyme-tales]

“I am tired of being told I am loved and cared about but never made to feel that way.”

— your actions and words never match

#c ptsd #abusive family #toxic home environment #touch starved #quotes #text post #queue

[tea-thyme-tales]

human: i learned from you, and now your hunger lives in me.

based on the new dreamxd lore

#dreamxd #dreamwastaken #dream #dreamsmp #mcyters #mcyt fanart #c!dream #minecraft manhunt #manhunt dream #fan art #queue

[tea-thyme-tales]

“How come God looks exactly like you?”

#dreamwastaken #dreamxd #dsmp #dream smp #c!dream #mcyters #mcyt fanart #dream smp fanart #fan art #queue

[tea-thyme-tales]

i like the idea of dreamXD having taken dreams face from the early days and taunting him with the idea of what he could have been

dreamXD also doesnt change much for tommy's nightmares either. it's something they have in common

#dream smp #mcyt fanart #dreamwastaken #dream fanart #dreamxd #dreamxd fanart #mcyters #queue

[tea-thyme-tales]

My joins in my fingers are so swollen today; it’s hard to type. Started researching doctors because I want one that cares about me and will get me some referrals. Need a better dermatologist and a rheumatologist cuz I either have psoriatic arthritis or rheumatoid arthritis- both of which are auto immune diseases and my sister has RA so it wouldn’t be a surprise.

The worst part is I can’t take NSAIDS to help with the inflammation because of my blood thinners so I’m stuck with Tylenol which hasn’t been helpful 😭

Do you have a deep underlying fear of death but also can’t really see yourself living past 50? No? Just me?

The never ending chronic pain and health conditions add into not being able to see myself having a long life. I’m constantly exhausted. Waking up is just a pain, literally.

Casual thoughts at work while dealing with joint pain.

[tea-thyme-tales]

Do you have a deep underlying fear of death but also can’t really see yourself living past 50? No? Just me?

The never ending chronic pain and health conditions add into not being able to see myself having a long life. I’m constantly exhausted. Waking up is just a pain, literally.

Casual thoughts at work while dealing with joint pain.

#about me #living with chronic pain #chronic illness #tw: mentions of death

[tea-thyme-tales]

Forgot a dose of my antidepressants and holy shit my whole body ACHES

[tea-thyme-tales]

―      E.A. Bucchianeri

#midnight mass #john pruitt #mildred gunning #mmedit #relevant quotes #queue

[tea-thyme-tales]

midnight mass saying the line between divinity and monstrosity is nonexistent and how you categorize it is a matter of what you choose to put your faith in. how far you’re willing to stretch belief to accept the things in front of you that you’ve been told are good even if they’re ugly. seeing is believing but can you believe what you see. bro i am flat on my back

#midnight mass #text post #catholiscism #vampirism #vampires #SPOILERS #it’s been a good month since I finished this show and I still think about it daily #mike flanagan #netflix original #netflix series #queue

[tea-thyme-tales]

2021: Year of Men on their Knees 🙃🥵😏

#tom hiddleston #sebastian stan #joel kinnaman #loki #loki laufeyson #bucky barnes #james bucky barnes #rick flag #loki series #tfatws #the suicide squad #gifs #damn 🥵 #marvel #dceu