#you're left with the wounds and can't even get the acknowledgement that anything Happened

[godofsmallthings]

thinking about "we were something, don't you think so?" as it's literal meaning...asking the other person to confirm that something did happen between you, because you're left to sit with this love of a lifetime and they won't even acknowledge it happened...

#and ofc it's masked in that brilliant casual tone that makes the 1 so good #reminds me of that thing she said about being gaslit into believing nothing happened at all #you're left with the wounds and can't even get the acknowledgement that anything Happened #'just between us did the love affair maim you too?' #literally 'the greatest loves of all time are over now' #the 1 #vi is typing...

[actual-changeling]

See, but there's something about the first fight in episode 1 that just doesn't really. fit. It very much feels like we are missing information here.

I have been thinking about this show all day, as one does, but in particular why Crowley gets angry enough to shoot literal lightning at a nearby building. We have experienced him upset before, but never to that specific degree, and their disagreement over Gabriel just does not explain it for me.

My hypothesis: a big, important fight happened right before season 2 picks up that left Crowley feeling rejected and Aziraphale neglected.

The biggest clue is the snippet of conversation about myself vs. ourselves.

"I thought we had carved it out for ourselves"

He almost sounds offended when he says that, yet Crowley reacts with equal parts hurt and anger, like he is referencing something that we, the viewer, do not have any knowledge of.

"So did I"

However, Aziraphale seems to understand whatever Crowley is referring to and does not respond with anything in return. Yet whatever wound they just opened keeps bleeding, and when Aziraphale tells him, packaged nicely, to fuck off, Crowley seems more sad than upset to me.

The to go? is almost said softly and with an initial confusion that hides a LOT of unspoken pain. Plus the HAND MOTION? The gesturing between the two of them while saying "oh, so this is how you wanna do this?" - call me insane, but to me that very much sounds like "oh so this is how you want to break up?"

The funny part is, if Aziraphale had simply shut up after saying "I want you to help me take care of him", I can GUARANTEE YOU that Crowley would have begrudgingly agreed. But he doesn't. He keeps going and this is the first moment this season where he is genuinely and truly bitchy.

"But if you won't, you won't" with the demonstrative sit-down and turning away from him, eyes forward. It pokes at whatever wound is still open and bleeding between them. Aziraphale wants Crowley to jump over his shadow and come help him, ignoring his boundaries. Meanwhile Crowley feels fundamentally misunderstood and rejected and wants Aziraphale to SHOW that he cares about Crowley more than he cares about fucking Gabriel of all people.

That he cares about them more than about heaven.

And now we have finally reached Crowley's breaking-point. he is so deeply hurt by what Aziraphale just said and did, choosing heaven over them, that the pain turns into anger because he has no other way of expressing or feeling it in the first place.

You're on your own with this one.

That last look is filled with such disappointed heartbreak, he turns around simply to give Aziraphale a chance to ask him to stay, to apologize, something. Yet again, he does not. He doesn't even meet his gaze, he is looking away.

To me, he seems almost spiteful, like this entire argument is only superficially about Gabriel but about something entirely else deeper down.

Which - that's the point, isn't it?

Crowley comes back and apologizes because Aziraphale matters more to him than stupid arguments or choosing sides, keeping him safe is the only thing he cares about when it comes down to it. He swallows down his hurt and betrayal and does what Aziraphale wants: ignoring the entire argument and pretending nothing ever happened so they can continue like before.

Only that they can't. The entire season shows just how much they cannot go back to their arrangement, no matter how hard Crowley tries to mold himself to Aziraphale's will. Their final argument simply reflects all of that and more. The same wound that first one was about gets reopened very violently and they're bleeding all over each other with no way to stop it because they're too fucking stubborn to admit that it exists in the first place.

Aziraphale and Crowley can only fix their relationship when they acknowledge the reason the rift between them opened up. Until then, Crowley feels truly rejected and Aziraphale feels entirely neglected, and there is nothing anyone can do to make them confront that.

#alex talks good omens #good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #good omens meta #aziracrow #crowly x aziraphale #go2 #literally there HAS to have been an argument between the seasons #something caused them to be like this in the first place #this didnt come out of nowhere and it wasn't completely slow either #there was a fight and they both know when they reference it but never actually talk about it #ineffable husbands more like ineffable IDIOTS

[circeyoru]

Hello you amazeing writer!! I'm here and for starters, I just wana say HOW MUCH I LOVE YOUR WRITEING HDHDGDGDG

*Cough cough* Anyways...I am here to add a sprinkle of angst, cause it feeds my blood-lust /j

I remember reading a non-canon version of your "Unwanted soul" fic, where the reader gets redemed (like Sir Pantious) and at the end, they het back to hell while keeping some of the angelic fetures (like the wings) and Alastor ripped them off, ignoreing readers crys (sience now he wasn't under contract).

I was wondering...what if, after all that, reader woldn't actulay fully forget Alastor? Personaly, I really REALLY hate feeling any kind of pain, even if it's as small as a paper-cut, so what if reader gets so upset over all that that they ignore Alastor and just start feeling mode down than usual?

Other than that, I HOPE U HAVE AN AMAZIENG DAY/NIGHT!! HOPE I DIDN'T BOTHER MUCH :3

HAD A STRESSFUL DAY! BUT I'M HERE TO DESTRESS!! NO BOTHER AT ALL!! Okay, back to normal.

Go to MASTERLIST for the works. This ask is for {Unwanted Souls}. The specific mentioned ask is this, so give them a read before this.

The angst is back. Prepare yourself, really, I mean it...

Yes. Reader/you will and do shut down after the stunt Alastor pulls. It's similar to the state you were in before your suicide on Earth. But! Alastor's keeping an eye out for everything and anything you do so you don't get the chance to plan your third death.

Needless to say, you regret coming back because Alastor was and is beyond your control. If you had his soul, you'd destroy it. Alastor knows, that's why he's not offering it anymore. He did consider it, but the way you were unresponsive to him, he trashes the idea.

You don't talk to him, you don't listen to him, you don't look at him, and you don't acknowledge him. You know, any form of reaction and attention you give him, be it good or bad, he'll take it all with gratitude, and you're not giving him that pleasure. Not what you went through because of him.

Alastor does everything to coax you into looking at him again, he knows he can't threaten you because that's what you want. If he was angered enough to kill you or attempt to do so, you win and he'll be left with nothing. No more you. He can't let that happen. He tried returning with wounds or accidentally harming himself while making your meals. No reaction.

He asks you what he did wrong, what can he do for you to at least go back to the way you were. He didn't like how you were like a doll or a broken puppet. It was so agonizing to see you like this, even worse when the reason was him. You didn't even touch the anime and books he brought for you, not even the phone, or tablet, or laptop. Nothing.

After a long long while, you made up your mind. A plan brewed. One that will give you your eternal sleep.

"I want a feast with my favourites." You spoke so softly one day. Yet Alastor heard it loud and clear, he nodded, it has been forever since he heard your voice. The last was when you were begging him not to rip off your wings and halo that took you away from him. He got to work, saying he'll be back soon and asked for your patience.

Patience. You've given him too much. Your eyes burned with fury when his presence left the apartment and your home domain. You took your blank notebooks, summoning angelic weapons one after another around your bed. The angelic steel stacked up as did your exhaustion. Your eyesight blurry and your body heavy. Just a little more and you'll sleep. The feeling was so similar to when you embraced death the first time. Then you fell asleep. Forever.

When Alastor returned, he was terrified to find you surrounded by angelic steel. His mind didn't register that you were the one to summon them, like the time you saved him all those years ago. He only rushed forward to you, ignoring all the wounds on his legs as he walked pass the deadly material. He tried shaking you awake. You're eyes didn't open, your body was cold. Heartbeat? It was so weak.

He shouted for you to wake up. He pleaded and begged. He apologized. He was wrong. He was all wrong. It was all his fault. Just wake up. Please! He needs you! He can't live without you! You can't abandon him again! Not again! Please!

Before, in the canon of my story, you woke up because Lucifer told Alastor what to do. But here, he never knew about your relationship with Lucifer, nor would Lucifer tell him how to wake you up. Lucifer watched from afar as you slowly died from your powers that drained your very soul. Saving you wasn't an option, he said he'd respect your choice and won't question them. He's keeping it, he's your friend. When you were going on with your plan, you too realized that the only true friend you had was Lucifer.

You can't handle Alastor, you shouldn't have thought you could. You shouldn't have accepted Alastor.

You shouldn't have saved him that day.

Alastor deserves to suffer while you enter your eternal slumber.

#Circe's Nighty Writings #alastor imagine #alastor x reader #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor headcanons #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor #hazbin hotel oneshots #yandere alastor #yandere alastor x reader #yandere hazbin hotel #alastor fanfiction #hazbin hotel imagines #Unwanted Soul #Circe's appreciation corner

[talesofesther]

let this night in my lungs, you're all I wanna breathe

Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Eddie struggles to sleep after what happened in the upside down, good thing you know exactly how to solve that.

A/N: Eddie, I love ya. This was requested by @ronwownsme, an Eddie version of this story. I changed it up a bit to not be exactly the same, but the concept stayed <3. Reposting this one because the first didn't show up in the tags :').

Masterlist

"you know, I feel like we've skipped a few parts of this."

You rolled your eyes upon hearing Eddie's words, knowing there was a smirk on his lips even if you couldn't see it.

It was late, if the dark neighborhood was anything to go by. Insects gathered under the old streetlights, chasing the only source of light in the gloomy night sky.

Your back ached as you walked and you most certainly had dark bags under your eyes, courtesy of spending almost the entirety of last week sleeping on a hospital chair.

Eddie was discharged from said hospital earlier today, sporting more bandages, wounds, and bruises than you wanted to acknowledge, but alive. You had taken it upon yourself to keep an eye on him, at least for a few days; by your own insistence, because you'd be damned if you let him out of your sight again, but he didn't need to know that. Not yet.

The front door unlocked with a click and you motioned for Eddie to walk in, one of your hands hovering on his lower back just in case.

He limped his way over the threshold, the scratch on his cheek crooked his smile, gentle brown eyes catching the lights of the street lamps. "I feel like I should at least take you out before we sleep together."

"We're not sleeping together, Romeo. You're getting the couch all for yourself." You shut the door and walked around him, your fingertips grazing his hand because you still had to remind yourself sometimes that he was here, beside you, skin warm against yours. You kicked off your shoes, backpack hanging off your shoulder as you turned on the lights in your house.

Eddie sauntered up beside you, feet wobbly and slow in his movements, a few hisses leaving his lips. You slowed your steps so he could catch up.

"The couch?!" He then asked, as if it had been a personal offense to him.

_

It looked comfortable, felt like it too, by your verdict. You didn't spare blankets or pillows to make the pullout couch as comfortable as possible for Eddie.

Yet he didn't look happy at all.

"I don't know what more do you want," you extended both hands towards the mountain of blankets that lay on your couch, "this is comfier than my bed."

"It's not," Eddie shook his head, brown curls bouncing around his cheeks and one strand getting caught in his mouth, "and I…" His brows scrunched up, as if trying to think of another complaint. "I can't even properly fit in this thing."

He wore a baby blue hoodie and sweatpants that were just a tad too short on his ankles, — both from the very depths of your wardrobe — you could hardly take him seriously.

"You could literally stretch yourself in this thing and there would still be room left." You reached up and brushed away the wisps of hair stuck on his lips, fingertips lingering beside the tiny scratches on his chin, wishing you could just kiss it all away.

Eddie stuffed his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. He ducked his head, gaze hiding from yours; "it's colder here." He whispered, words twisted and masking the ones still hanging on his tongue; it's lonely here.

It hit you like a bucket of icy water that there was more to it than just Eddie trying to get on your nerves. You remember your first night after discovering the alternative dimension under your feet, how every little sound made you jump from your bed in a cold sweat. And by the way Eddie's knee was bouncing, and he looked at the lonely couch as if it could eat him alive, you figured he felt the same; if not worse, after everything he went through.

By the small smile on your lips, you knew he knew he'd won. "You're worse than a puppy, you know that?"

Eddie's eyes crinkled adorably with his smile, "you love me though."

With a huff, you started picking up the blankets, hugging them all to your chest as you made to walk upstairs. When Eddie didn't follow, you looked back to see him with the biggest pout, eyebrows all sad.

You reached a hand for him, all lovesick grins and twinkling eyes, you said; "of course I love you, silly, now come on."

_

Eddie looked like the happiest man alive tucked in under the cocoon of blankets on your bed. You laid down beside him just a bit more stiff than usual, leaving a reasonable gap between your bodies.

Nights in Hawkins were cold, even in the spring; cool air blew through the small opening in the window, making the curtains flutter, creating soft moving shadows across your dark room. It didn't go unnoticed by you how Eddie's gaze seemed to follow each small movement, his restless body shuffling the sheets as he hugged the covers close.

"You good there?" You peeked over your shoulder at him.

"Yeah… Still feel like we've skipped some steps here though." The smile he wore on his lips could be heard in his words, it made you smile as well.

"Are you that eager to take me on a date, Munson?" You teased. Always walking the tightrope that was your relationship with Eddie.

"Maybe, what do you say we go out for breakfast in the morning?"

You chuckled, biting your lip to contain the smile as your tummy filled with butterflies, "yeah, we could."

"Where do you wanna go?" Eddie was stalling, trying to stretch the night as much as possible, to keep hearing your voice that numbed the nightmares.

"I heard of a new place on main street, heard they have some pretty fancy pancakes."

"I like pancakes."

Part of you wanted to turn around, search in his eyes if this was just casual banter or if he truly meant it as something serious; the other part of you, stronger, didn't want to find out at all. "Goodnight Eddie."

You felt how Eddie reached out, timid fingers playing with the ends of your hair, and you thought about how you would've asked him to come up with you even if he hadn't.

The last thing your bedside clock told you before sleep took you is that it was 1:02 AM.

And the first time you woke up, it told you it was 1:47 AM.

You weren't sure how you were woken up, your mind hadn't caught up with the real world fast enough to notice, but you knew it had something to do with the incessant moving beside you.

For the first time, you let it slide, figuring Eddie was just trying to get comfortable on the unfamiliar bed.

But when, about thirty minutes later, Eddie's feet kicked you awake again, you turned to him with the beginnings of annoyance.

You flinched when your nose almost brushed his. He lay right at the edge of his pillow, as close as possible to you without actually touching. His eyes were nothing but black almonds staring back at you, glistening under the low moonlight.

"Eddie just," you groaned, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, "try to settle and get some sleep okay? I know you're tired too."

Eddie gulped, fingers fidgeting with the fluffy blankets, "I'm trying to, but I can't-" a sigh left his lips, and if you weren't so sleepy, you would've noticed how shaky it was.

"I'm trying," he said again.

That was enough for you to give his hand a gentle squeeze before turning around, letting sleep take you.

It didn't take long for you to sort of wake up again when Eddie tugged at the covers, and then again when his hand accidentally bumped your back.

It had you huffing in annoyance, now properly awake as you maneuvered the covers around you to look at him again, "Eddie, I swear to god, if you don't stop moving I'm gonna kick you back to the couch." Part of you regretted the words as soon as they tumbled out of your mouth, especially with the way Eddie curled in on himself in front of you, but it had been days since you had a proper night's sleep.

Eddie cursed under his breath, bringing a shaky hand to rub at his eyes and messing up his bangs. "Sorry, shit, I'm sorry. It's just, I can't sleep, I can't- can't fucking relax," he took in a breath shooting you a glance before turning to look at your ceiling, "every time I close my eyes I'm alone under that damn red storm again."

His voice was just a breath, almost completely engulfed by the darkness of your room. You could make out the outline of his nose and lips; the soft shine of a single tear carefully sliding down the side of his cheek. You reached over and wiped it away, gently, the pad of your thumb caressing the bruised skin underneath as a silent apology.

"Eddie, why didn't you tell me?"

He pursed his lips, a sad excuse of a laugh escaping him, "don't know, didn't wanna bother," his eyes found yours as he turned, "but, guess I did it anyway."

The force with which your heart beats for him was painful against your ribcage. You reached for him with both hands, one on his cheek, the other over his torso. He was eager to comply, all but throwing himself into your arms and burying his face in the crook of your neck.

"You're never a bother, okay? Never." You squeezed him, mindful of his injuries but tightly nonetheless. Your hand and nose disappeared into his hair, you inhaled the generic scent of the hospital's shampoo first, then felt tears prickling at the back of your eyes when you felt the faint, musky scent of his shampoo, mixed with smoke and something else you couldn't name. As strong as you tried to be for him after almost losing him, you'd been craving this closeness just as much.

"This better?" You asked quietly.

Eddie nodded, his lips brushing your collarbone, hands firmly around your body. "Sorry sweetheart, don't think I'll ever be able to sleep without you now," he mumbled, then placed a sloppy kiss on the skin just above your heart.

You chuckled, twirling one of his dark curls on your fingers; "good, 'cause I was about to tell you the same thing."

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are very much appreciated. <3

Eddie’s taglist: @milkiane @bookfrog242 @alicefallsintotherabbithole @boooil @science--hoes @cherrypieyourface @tssf-imagines @daph-505 @astream-ofconsciousness @fentyreligion @fantasylovestoryme @justabeautiful-letdown @crazyrapunzel @yessica41 @dancing-hillary @bakugouswh0r3 @hehehehannahthings @jakebasement @zervopoulouu @forverdaydreamer-blog @fromthedt

@oeuryale @mcueveryday @palah @witchbinchstories @call-me-magpie @loveshineslikethesky @luvmybbies @tvserie-s-world @agirlsguidetolove @hallothankmas @ribyourtoplip @sweetpeapod @harringt8ns @forsaken-letters @hazydespair @fangirling-4-ever @electric-cabaret @ollyoxenfrees @linkpk88 @twinkofmydreams @paola-carter @masterlistmanic @xceafh

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #strangerthingsedit #stranger things #imagine #fanfic #fluff #angst #eddie munson fanfic #eddiemunsonedit #joseph quinn #stranger things x reader #st #my story

[nilrilie]

A Spirit That Never Fades | pt. 1

The plot: is missing but all you need to know is that you were once a skyperson named Anilri that was somehow reborn as a Metkayina. Eywa loves you too much.

You can find this story on ao3

Warning: Mentions of blood and death.

Masterlist

The calming sound of the water surrounds you, its waves rock you back and forth like a mother's embrace as you lay on the back of your ilu.

You have no idea how long you've been here with your eyes closed just letting the rays of the sun hit your turquoise skin. 

Surrounded only by water and the sky made you feel serene. 

At Awa'atlu, there were numerous things to do. The tasks are exhausting but you're not complaining about your duties for the village or Tsahìk training, you were complaining about how you couldn't get enough alone time ever since the village found out that Eywa has given you a gift. 

A gift of sight, they say. 

The ability to See.  

Not that you weren't already a Na’vi whose standing was uncertain in the village, but adding this “power” made everything more confusing.

Night and day you were frequently asked what you See. Na’vi from all ages and forms couldn't help but touch you in wonder, wanting to know how your abilities work and if it'll work on them.

You're grateful that you weren't left unattended for long periods of time, always having someone there to divert attention from you. It’s not like you needed the rescuing, the people in the village know you could kick someone's butt with your eyes closed, but you just don't have the heart to tell the people to keep their hands to themselves especially when it's the children. 

This ability you had is new and unheard of, even Ronal the Tsahìk of the village was astounded by it. 

The Olo'eyktan of the Metkayina clan,Tonowari, and his mate Ronal took you around to every village in the reef trying to figure out what your abilities meant or if it had happened before. 

You all didn't figure out much. 

News went around the reef that you have a strong connection with Eywa. This made those from other villages come to Awa'atlu just for you to heal them, but those who are still doubtful of your presence will go to Ronal and avoid you like the plague. You can’t blame them, you would also be suspicious of yourself. 

One early morning, Rotxo and you were at the water hauling out your catch. Your mind wanders, asking yourself if your ability is seeing a glimpse of a person's faith or more on feeling...things. It was hard to explain. 

"Why can't it be both?" Rotxo answered, tying the net to his ilu and yours. 

You didn't notice you asked it out loud. 

"I know I'm not Ewya but I wouldn't put it past The Great Mother to give you as many gifts as she could. You've been given a second life, Anilri. That's already one gift from Her.`` 

That same day as you were following Rotxo toward your marui to store your catch, you accidentally brushed the arm of a female warrior as she and her group were about to go into the water for their hunt party. 

Instantly, you knew something wasn't right. 

You didn't see anything but still told the warrior to be extra careful at the reef. You could only hold her arm as you tried your best to See what that sudden feeling meant but it was no use.

With no explanation to give her, you let go. The female looked at you with a frown but nodded in acknowledgment of your request. 

That night, a commotion happened around the female warriors when they came back. With a sinking feeling, you ran towards the growing number of people and maneuvered your way to the front. They didn't stop you, some even moving out of your way without being asked. There you saw some of the warriors bruised and bloodied, wounds on their bodies but gladly alive. 

Ronal came straight to check their wounds with Tsireya behind. Both of them have the needed tools and ointments on their arms. 

You soon followed, kneeling in the sand as you tried to stop the bleeding from a Na’vi who was closest to you. 

The wounded were many but with you, Ronal, and Tsireya, you all were slowly but surely patching them up. 

Another party came and everyone instantly knew this one was different. Three Na’vis were carrying a body and as soon as you stood up to take her, you froze. It was the same female warrior you had told to be careful at the reef. 

The mate of the warrior cried in despair as his mate was quickly carried towards you. You tried your hardest with Ronal next to you to heal her open wounds but the warrior had lost too much blood in the water and breathed her last in your care. 

Everyone stood in silence, the cry of her mate was the only sound that broke it. Their daughter was there but she was far too young to understand that her mother could never again carry her on her back. 

When the time came to move the warrior's body, her mate screamed. Each step he takes gets faster as he makes his way towards you. 

Thinking of the worst possibilities that the Na’vi male might do in his current state, Ronal stood up and shouted for him to stop as Tsireya pushed you behind her to block his path from you. 

But before anything happened, he stopped. “Please, can you do something? Anything?” he begged. His voice breaking as he looked at you with desperation. 

Tsireya looked at you sadly and your heart broke for him. You know you could do so little being new to your connection with Eywa and you're not even sure if you could do anything in this situation. 

Putting a hand on Tsireya’s shoulder to tell her it's okay, you turned and kneeled down towards the body on the sand. 

Ronal and Tsireya moved back to give you space while another warrior took hold of mate’s arm to prevent any sudden movements from him. 

She was a beautiful warrior and a brave one at that. You wished you could have done more, maybe if you told her not to go to the hunt this wouldn't have happened but you knew if it wasn't her some other Na’vi would have had the same faith. 

So you did the only thing you know so far. 

You closed your eyes and laid your hand on hers, concentrating on your breathing and only on her. It didn't take long before you felt at peace. 

Everyone grew silent as you connected with the warrior's spirit. Your bioluminescent markings glowed bright orange, almost to the color of gold that had other Na’vi’s cover their gasps at its beauty. 

Much like the Spirit Tree where you connect with your queue; you saw the female Na’vi warrior but instead of seeing a memory, you saw her surrounded by soft light that glowed beautifully behind her. She smiled, curling her hands towards her forehead and moving it downwards in greeting. She didn't utter a word but you knew that she was safe, that she 

“–is with Eywa now.” you murmured, slowly taking your hands off as you opened your eyes. 

You looked towards the mate of the warrior as he got down to his knees and wept. You saw Aonung and Tonowari watching everything in silence with their faces in awe. You smiled at how much they look alike.

Standing up, you walked towards the grieving Na’vi. 

You didn't expect it and you don't think anyone did but as soon as you touched his shoulders to show support his emotions of grief, heartache, and acceptance felt like yours. Memories upon memories of their life were shown to you like flashing images on a screen. They were too fast to see properly but you felt his emotion in every memory that was shown. 

Your knees gave out and you clutched your head in agony. All the emotions you felt from the memories were so intense that your head started to hurt from it.  

You didn't notice the warmth of a body that engulfed your small stature until the pain in your head had subsided. Looking up, it was Aonung who had his arms around you, a frown on his face as he looked at you with worry. 

The mate, who you now know as Zìtwu, looked at you in shock and you were pretty sure you had the same expression on your face as you look at him too. 

It wasn't tsaheylu as your queues were far away from each other but, even if it were just for a short moment, it definitely felt like it. 

You told this to Ronal after everyone had gone and everything had settled down. Ronal didn't have an explanation to why this happened except for your connection with Eywa. 

“Eywa has given you these gifts, do not be afraid of it. She has chosen you for a reason.” Ronal said with her hands on your arm. The smile she gave you made your heartbeat a little slower. 

Why on Pandora, cause Earth is now a shit hole, were you chosen? And how does one properly control these abilities? Questions you ask the wind hoping that Eywa was listening.

Ewya has given you a second life, literally. She might as well put powers inside you for the fun of it. 

In the distance you hear laughter, two familiar ones that snapped you back to where you currently are.  

Blinking your eyes a couple of times to adjust to the brightness, you saw two male Na’vis on their ilus getting closer to you as they talked. You decided to focus on them and make your ears work, catching a little bit of their conversation at the end. 

"–wish I could see Kiloä’s face when he notices." The male voice said as the other one laughed. 

"Funniest thing is that he won’t have any proof it was me this time." 

As they got closer, their conversation gradually stopped. 

Aonung looked at you with a smirk and Rotxo waved his arms at you in greeting, a mischievous smile on his face as he looked at Aonung and back at you, "Anilri! You won't believe what Aonung did–" 

"You skxawng!" Said Aonung, hitting Rotxo on the arm, "You are such a snitch!" 

Rotxo hissed at Aonung with attitude. The other boy scoffed and pushed Rotxo off his ilu. But to Aonung’s surprise and disbelief, Rotxo was prepared and grabbed his arm, dragging the surprised boy with him into the water. 

Both boys were laughing, chasing each other as they swam around you. Their ilus chirped in amusement at their riders actions. 

"Babies," you chuckle. 

Sitting upright, you pat your ilu’s head as she wakes up from her nap.

Aonung and Rotxo continued with their antics, it was obvious that both boys wouldn't stop until someone gets caught. 

“Go Rotxo! Get his ass.” you couldn't help but join in. 

“You traitor! You're supposed to cheer for me!” Aonung stopped to look at you, causing Rotxo to catch up to him. 

Aonung’s face was hilarious when Rotxo practically jumped on Aonung’s upper body to plunge the both of them underwater. 

You laugh, having to hold on to your ilu so you wouldn't fall in the water too. 

These are times when you wish that you had a camera on you to record these moments. 

Having controlled your laughter, you saw Tsireya on her ilu making her way toward you. You waved your hand at her, making the younger Na’vi smile wider. 

"I see you." You said and gestured. 

"I see you, Anilri." She greeted you back. 

When both boys ascended from the water you saw Tsireya roll her eyes, “Aonung, Rotxo.” 

Seeing the younger Na’vi, Aonung and Rotxo’s bickering subsided. 

Their eyes widened as they remembered they were here to actually  bring you back to the village, that is before they got sidetracked. 

Tsireya’s glare made the boys smile sheepishly, causing you to hide a giggle behind your four fingers. The fact that Tsireya resembles her mother when she glares probably added to the scare level Aonung and Rotxo feel. 

“Sorry sis, we got side tracked.”

“Obviously.” 

Aonung swam towards you and got on your ilu. He bumped his arms lightly to yours. "Where'd you go this time?" He asked, teasing you with a smile. 

You rolled your eyes without answering him. 

You sometimes forget the concept of time when you meditate or more so when you hyper focus on a certain thing. Your mind flying to who knows where making others tease you for it but also worried that you might get yourself hurt at some point.

"...I swear I know you would have smacked Aonung by now,” Rotxo said while floating in the water, his eyes on you with a small smile. 

“And why would I do that?” You asked him with confusion. 

“Rotxo, don’t–”

“He took Kiloä’s bow and exchanged it with Tswa'ew without their knowledge.”

Tsireya looked at Aonung with wide eyes, “Tswa'ew? Please tell me you're joking.” 

Now that was news. 

Tswa'ew is one of the female warriors in the village known for her rough demeanor and cold character. She is someone who Na’vi males fear and all Na’vi females look up to.

For many moon cycles now, Aonung has taken up a goal to get your brother in a relationship with any Na’vi in the village with random stunts like this. You don't have any clue how it started but you knew that Aonung’s antics always lead your brother to trouble. 

And with Tswa'ew, you were pretty sure she wasn't looking for a male mate. 

Shaking your head in amusement, you whack Aonung on the back of his head. “Why do you always have to get my brother in trouble, Aonung?”

"Hey! It’s just a bow, she’s not gonna kill him for it. And aren't you at all a little bit worried that he doesn't have a mate yet? I mean, he is getting old.`` 

Tsireya and Rotxo laughed, and you just glared at the boy next to you. 

Kiloä wasn't that older than you. 

You know Kiloä had already passed his Ikninaya and is now an adult in the eyes of the Metkayina, so his good-to-go in finding a mate to spend his life with. But you haven't really seen him taking interest in anyone as his only focus for now is bettering himself as a warrior. 

Smirking but afraid that you might hit him again, Aonung jumped off your ilu and swam straight towards his. 

You decided to let this one slide but noted in your head to tell Kiloä as soon as you set foot on land about what Aonung did before a spear strikes your brother's head. 

For some time, the four of you stayed in content silence, just listening to the water and the far sounds of children's laughter as they played at the shallow ends of the water. Taking this moment in memory before going back to the village. 

Peace and calmness surrounds you. 

And you pray to Eywa it will stay that way.  

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | ...

#avatar the way of water #neteyam #aonung #original female character #neteyam x original female character #aonung x original female character #neteyam x original female character x aonung #ASTNF

[kamishiro-rui-phoenixwonderland]

for fuck’s sake, stop! "it’s the last thing i want" - again, not the goddamn point. do i need to highlight it? to draw arrows pointing to it? will you be able to fucking find it if i don’t baby you?

did i fucking say i expected nene to stick to you like glue? no. your reading comprehension is piss poor, seriously, are your braincells fried already? is that what this is? is that all it takes?

she could’ve tried harder if you guys’ friendship mattered that much to her, because to me, it just seemed like she was glad. after all, now that she was in another middle school, she had an excuse not to talk with you anymore. she could keep face. i don’t blame her.

it wouldn’t be an "i stopped spending time with him because he’s a fucking freak who destroys everything he touches," but a "oh, i went somewhere far and i just couldn’t be with him anymore, even when i tried."

it was just so convenient, don’t you think?

you did so much for her and what did she do for you in return? think, rui, think with whatever’s left of that brain of yours!

why would tsukasa keep a place in his brain for you, you half-witted dumbass?

and even if he did, so what? what do you think that would change? he would still be incredibly busy, with no time to spare for you.

in fact, if tsukasa did remember, i’d argue it would cause him much more pain. he’d feel guilty for not being able to spend more time with you, to acknowledge your existence - and you know how he is, don’t you? he’s also always so worried of making others suffer. that’s why he overworks himself like he does.

oh well. i suppose you just like making everyone miserable. that’s why you want him to remember you, huh? i’m right, aren’t i? hehe~

how awful, how terrible of you!

you’re not even trying to hide it now… tsk, tsk.

you can’t even say anything about emu. she’s better at pretending than you think, you know? don’t fucking underestimate her. you’re not better than everyone else.

the truth is that little emu cares more about everyone’s happiness than she cares about her own, and she will condemn herself to suffering if it makes she’ll make someone else happy. if that’s what you want her to keep doing with you, then sure, go ahead, but don’t get surprised when someone wounds up calling you a monster.

it’s clear that you’re using her to feel better about yourself.

// might be the last one idk :3

urgh...!! why am i still receiving these messages when i'm all the way in Sekai-??

... you don't know anything about Nene and i, we've known each other for over half our lives...!! you have absolutely no- no right to comment on what happened when we were in middle school- it's over, we very quickly became the best of friends again!! and- you're wrong, Nene does so much for me!! for a lot of my life, she was the only one other than my parents that supported me... if not for her, i might've given up on doing shows after the rejection of my other peers...!!

and- and Tsukasa-kun and Emu-kun... they're- they let me know when they're worried about me, and i try to do my best to ease their minds when i find that out... i know they struggle a little with... putting others' happiness above their own. i... never want to be another worry for them, i can't stand having others be concerned over me...

... that's why i ran and hid that one time.

... i'm not- i'm not using Emu-kun, i thought she enjoyed our time together as i do, being silly, engaging in random stunts- if she doesn't... i can stop bothering her, sure...

#answered by mr director

[dingoat]

5 and 16 for Best Girl, 13 and 18 for Worst Boy 😈

BEST GIRL BEST GIRL

5. What is your muse’s biggest regret?

Regular mode Ahuska doesn't have a whole lot of huge regrets, even if she has been through a bunch of stuff that she wishes she hadn't or that had perhaps gone a little differently. But the events themselves haven't generally been caused by any decision on her part, and where they have she can recognise where it's help her become the bothan that she's grown to be. Possibly, she regrets letting Crow out of her sight when they went to rescue Nines from an Imperial ship; she can't help but wonder if she'd been by his side and blasted a few more faces, whether he'd have wound up shot through the heart. Whether they might have actually gotten Nines back at that point. Whether they could have left Mel'srom (aka Crow's ex and Nela's biological mother) behind.

Werewolf girl has severe regrets about not having gone to search for Blakk much, much sooner, and she carries the weight of everything that happened since very heavily on her shoulders. She regrets knowing that she has a breaking point, that when circumstance came together in all the wrong ways she gave up on him, and gave up on herself.

16. If your muse could talk to one person they’ve lost, who would it be?

Poor girl has been orphaned twice over; but the circumstances around losing her biological parents she's actively repressed, and so she's never pined for a family she's never known. Her adoptive parents meanwhile, being solid, loving Mandalorians had her well prepared for the potential of their deaths while out on campaign... but not so much for the return of one of them from 'the dead', aka years in SIS captivity. So she actually has gotten the opportunity to speak to someone she's lost, but would very much love to be able to speak with her other mum and unload all the heavy parts of her life that she bottles up way too much.

Werewolf Ahuska actually wishes she could turn back time and speak with Watcher Two. She has so much she wishes she could say, and so much she wants to ask.

WORST BOY WORST BOY

13. How much pain can your muse withstand? For how long?

Ahahaha so uh. I'm pretty sure Five found his limit when he had his lower arm physically rent from his body. But aside from that, he is kiiiinda actually the sort of person that gets a kick out of enduring physical pain. Safe to say he has a pretty darn high pain threshold for a regular human being, even a highly trained Intelligence agent, and he will absolutely use it to his advantage and for his own amusement.

18. Does your muse think they’re capable of changing? Do they even want to?

"Capable? Of course! I'm capable of anything. I can be whoever I need to be at any given moment. But if you're talking about some insipid notion of 'betterment'? Being the 'best I can be'? As Intelligence's most successful Watcher and Kaas City's most eligible bachelor for five years running as voted by Imperial Life magazine, let me assure you that I'm already there."

[In actual fact, he is doing some severe re-thinking of elements of his life and is terrified to acknowledge that while within the Empire's claws he might not actually have the power to achieve the level of freedom and control that he craves. Puts on a damn good front though.]

#character asks #angst asks #swtor ocs #ahuska asks #five asks #thank you for asking!!! #Five got all done up in his 'public' image for the occassion

[the-firebird69]

They certainly do hear him and somehow he's getting you guys and we have to get you too before he does and we're going to do that since you're sitting there demanding it and you are the dumbest people I've ever seen you sit there everyday demanding it and people go after you and get you everyday it means you're stupid you're not good at it you're not good at anything not to mention yes you two haven't survived the day out here for 2 months we need you out of our face and Terry cheeseman does too we don't like what he's doing but at least he's not a five-year-old spoiled little ingrate s*** head who goes around ruining all sorts of things that we have planned for some sort of loser plan that losers do and he used to say about them now you're one of them and it's kind of an emergency and we have a system and you're up on the board as somebody who can't hold on to the math and a certain level and things really stupid things are real

Mike tew

You want other people to say that is true and from the other side for Christ's sake I feel real bad that you're getting rid of people of your own and having us do it more or less because we had bigger and better at it I don't understand your reasoning you don't know anything about us Trump Dan

Zues Hera

We say we do that's about it you're actually right about something our people scream that they're us no they scream they're your people and s*** I can't believe how stupid this is going to be

Dave

I'm going after you and your people what you just said and we're going to kill you and you're not going to make it and you're a little moron and you're a little pervert and you've been going after girls here to kidnap them for cloning and some of them are women actually all of them are very old and they're putting orders on you from their clan to have you shot on site and a lot of them are sticking cuz they know you have a ton of stuff we're also going to be in court today Dan and they do hold it to you for homicides and they will try and get you in prison to execute you so it's another stupid thing that you don't know about because you don't believe in that the fact is they're not going to hold you in there for 60 years they don't want to feed you and they're going to make you sick and then they're going to throw you into an incinerator that's what it really is and you don't ever acknowledge it it must be great being a sweetheart stupid little girl b****

Mike tew

And you seen their provoking us all morning long and we told you you were and you just keep doing it and we're going after you and killing you what's wrong with you Dan seriously you are asking for it all the time

I don't have much left and I keep doing it I guess I don't get what's happening even though it's explained to me

Dan

This is what I encounter with him everyday I go up and I say don't do this then or this and I find him doing it I said there's a penalty and we're going to do this and people around are doing it to you too so he comes looking for revenge and we hit him and said you didn't listen and now I'm getting you twice for what you were doing he says it's our method it's to screw up and make people pay for what they do when we screw up and he keeps saying that stupid s*** and losing everything and he won't stop for any price that guy is a complete d******

Mac Daddy

It's really good something he said people and we don't care he gets people killed like me all the time you can see videos and you can see me walking around with head wounds actually I did figure out something he wants me out of his face and I keep doing stupid s*** that pisses other people off so I blame him and then they come for me to massive injury and take my stuff sounds stupid but I can't stop doing it

Dave

So you're an insulin swine and we are going to get your stuff because you have no resistance we're not the ones making you do this stupid s*** and you do it on your own a lot and other people make you do it and they take you down it's not really hard concept to to fathom it's not really complicated you're a really stupid man and you deserve what's coming dumb you deserve what's coming because you're so God damn dumb

Zues Hera

I guess it's a stupid thing to do but I keep doing it he says keep doing it in a few days he'll be dead I don't have to put up with you it's just very annoying you're like a little s*** and people like to kill people like you now he says that and I understand it and I don't really get it it says let me say it again people like to kill people like you because you have a lot of stuff because you're a moron and get under their skin they like to get rid of you they like to send their guys down and have them annoyed okay now you're doing the job what's so complicated about that s*** head you're a s*** head and that's what he says and I get this everybody is berating me to shut the f****** and I go around and I'm silent and I'm full of s*** I guess I'm doing things with code and stuff that's what they mean they see it all the time you and your dumb finger and I'm told by Mac they cut it off and people of your own clan are cutting your fingers off and they're telling you not to do it and he says that's what they're saying and it is and I keep doing it so he says just realize that in a few days you're going to be gone cuz that's what's happening and I'll say this I sort of get something I'm going to be out of here too and dead and dust and I say stuff to him and he says we're going to make it happen because you are to you and he means I'm going to go it's been a horrible time he doesn't like us our stuff is horrible and we're little babies and we're ruining stuff and we don't seem to care and that's what it is so what you can all blow it out your ass and sit here harassing him until he gets real mad and he says what happens then Dan AKA Dave do I get b******* and call BG and say he's in the house that you should be in both of them he must have stuff things like that he's a shooter that's pretty much what he does should I do that Dave AKA Dan should I do that Dave AKA Dan a deaf are you a f****** prick it's just one more thing but eventually that seesaw is going to stay up in the air and you going to fall off dead you know are you getting this yet still you stupid s*** it's not a huge thing but it works and he says that I do understand something I don't want you to publish this it says I don't care what you want I want you to stop f****** harassing me and instead you got your fat head and your stupid fat f****** body with your skinny nothing bones sitting here aggravating me like some sort of half dead f****** dog you little weasel you're a f****** puke weasel moron and a traitor to your kind you should be embarrassed in hiding yourself now I'm saying that is true and I'm saying I'm going to get him and he says someone's going to kill me first and we're going to come and take your stuff dumbass

Dave

[messengerhermes]

How does your rage serve you?

I have a lot of anger inside me right now.

Someone, who by their words and the role they agreed to in my life, was supposed to cherish me and be a loving supportive force in my life hurt me. They did it over an over in small and big ways, all while making me feel like I was creating imaginary problems.

I alienated other people I loved and caused harm as I fell into this mess. I now get to pick my way back out and deal with the consequences of my actions, no matter what drove me to them.

I hate this person some days. Some days I'm so incandescently angry I feel like I might set fire to anything I touch.

Some days I'm angry with them, and some days I'm angry with myself for not catching the problem sooner, for enabling them and assuming I was missing my own bad behavior.

I'm angry with myself for falling into an absurd dance that I've been in before, where no matter how close you step to your partner, they hold you closer, fingers digging in until you can't breathe and they ask you why you're so distant.

My anger drips in the back of my throat sometimes. The urge to say awful things, to terrorize, to shame, to give back an ounce of the things I feel.

That is not a useful direction of rage.

Sure, I could do that. I could paste their crimes and perceived shortcomings to public walls and spit their name like a curse left and right. But what's the point?

Will that heal me?

Will it absolve me of being accountable for the mess I made in all of this?

Will it get me back the time, aspects of myself, and people I've lost?

No. No it won't.

I don't even know that it'll make me feel better, in the long run.

Because they did me wrong, but deep in my heart, I still don't think they ever intended to hurt me. Which is what makes it hurt worse really.

I don't want to be haunted by my own worst actions, so why should I haunt someone else for theirs?

Let them grow, let them change, let them carry on, without me. I think we poisoned each other's root systems, tipped over the edge from helping each other grow into pushing one another to bear poison fruit.

I can be pissed about what happened, I can acknowledge the ways I feel wronged and bruised, but to lash out and cause the same pain I was dealt will achieve nothing but souring the world a little bit more.

I think these days, the world is bitter enough.

I dunno where I'm putting this anger, whether I'll shove it into the earth or mix it in my paints or just howl it deep at the bottom of a lake, scare the shit out of some fish before kicking my way back to the surface.

But I won't just throw it in a box and send it back to them.

We cannot go back, we can only go forward, and ripping open the fights I tried so hard to resolve won't bring me peace.

The high of getting in the last word rarely lasts and is often only a bandaid only the deeper aching wound.

Go through the wreckage, pick up the pieces of all the bits of you that broke off through this storm, all the little odds and ends you quietly clipped off and hid away after enough pointed conversations and disappointed looks. Examine if you let them go because it helped you grow or because someone else wanted you small.

Stitch yourself back together, with the pieces that you missed.

Dance in the kitchen, now that it's no longer an issue.

Dress how you want, now that no one's hear to say anything about whose eye you might catch.

Write the stories you like, now that someone else isn't pushing you to do better.

Find who you are when you aren't being prodded by someone else's direction.

Let yourself be your full shape and size.

[shasha-writes-things]

We all know Juno is not what one would call a “good mom”. I was thinking what if one day when Juno was really laying into Beej about how much of a screw up he was, reader just comes out of nowhere and just starts going toe-to-toe with her defending him and inadvertently confessing their feelings for him.

Just thought it would be really cute.

This is such a cute prompt!!! I've been waiting all day at work to write something for it and i 100% am gonna fuck my sleep schedule up for this. I also wrote this as a short fic rather than headcannons  either way enough of rambling time for the beetlefluff!!!

-----------------

It was dark and dreary and the room looked strange to say the very least. This was not your home. More some kind of prison holding cell but even then where why what had happened. 'Drip, drip drip' a small burst pipe in the corner continued as the drips of whatever dripped onto the floor. The floor was no bigger than a closet the burst pipe no light and a door.

As the door creaked slightly ajar the only noise that could ve heard was a horrible voice. Maybe it was rude to say but the voice sounded like someone who had been smoking for 1000 years non stop "Lawrence!" The voice said as you managed to make out a name still unaware of where you were, who was Lawrence? Who was the woman? Why did she seem to hate Lawrence? "Ugh mom why can't you just let me decide what I do with my life!" The all too familiar voice whined at his mother.

"Because Lawrence your pathetic you're a screw up always meddling with things you shouldn't be always trying to be something your not always trying so hard but always ending up being the same disappointment you've always been. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SUCH A SCREW UP LAWRENCE, I SHOULDVE LEFT LIKE YOUR FATHER AT LEAST HE HAS THE BLESSING OF NOT KNOWING HOW MUCH OF A DISSAPOINTMENT YOU ARE!"

The only noise that broke the silence was the creak of the door as you saw 'beej' practically cowering from his mother's yelling. With that it took barely a second for the door to swing open almost falling off its hinges.

"How dare you say any of that to him!" You started an instant relief fear both maybe striking beej's features as you stood between him and juno. "How dare you suggest that you aren't the reason for how your son has turned out, you had a problem and turned to the bottle you weren't thinking about him then, you weren't thinking about him when his father left, you were never considering how he felt! Your don't deserve him and he deserves way better than hos dissapointing of a mother you are! And I don't want to hear any bad about him because he is wonderful caring funny amazing and that's why I love him..." You said taking a tiny step back to find your frame against beetlejuices frame.

"B-babes...y-you love... me..." he said barely able to say anything else and not acknowledging his mother focused on you like you were the only person in the world. "Y-yes for a while now I just didn't know how to say it I thought you wouldn't feel the same you probably don't.." it took a moment before you could look up to face him and see the wounded expression he had on his face "y/n... I love you more than anything in the neverworld on your world I just I mean a bio exorcist, demon, ghost, me with someone as amazing as you I just didn't want to get in your way.. there's someone a soulmate or whatever out there for you.." it took a moment for you to form a thought as you took beetlejuice's cold hands into your warmer ones. "I've already found my soulmate and he's right infront of me.." You said softly as your warm lips met his icy cold skin. "Trust me you are who I want, if you want me? You said softly "oh babes your the only one I want come on let's go home.." he said excitement on his face as you got poofed back to your house tightly embracing him.

------------------

First one-shot fic something this was a bit of hurt but so much fluff I'm super happy with how it turned out

As per usual if you got anything you'd like writing then lemme know!!!

#beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice broadway #beetlejuice musical #beetlejuice #beetlejuice x reader #alex brightman #beetlejuice x you

[ta0ken]

LITTERA SCRIPTA MANET (the written letter lasts)

❝𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮❞ — atticus. 

have you ever felt what it was like to dream? to even vividly remember the dream? how does it feel; does it feel nice? you wonder and wonder, but the dreams are always there (only with a few changes). you're only reliving a dream.

                                                         in books, freedom →

TAPPING RESOUNDED THROUGHOUT THE ROOM, yet there's a silence that fills the room you sat in as well. It's noisy, yet it's not. It's quiet, yet it's not. It's contradictory, in your opinion, as you leaned onto your chin, resting it on your fist. You hummed, unsure of what would happen. A small huff left your lips, blowing out strands from your hair, continuously bothering you from your work (though, you weren't really working).

Your pen scattered dots all around your lined paper, yet nothing was written on it. "This isn't some connect the dots game..." you softly sighed to yourself, raising a brow at the paper, disappointed and obviously unamused.

Glancing out the window, you stared, watching the sun rays light up your dim-lit room. You closed your eyes, reminiscing the times you were in high school (were you?), not really having any friends, only focusing on smarts and academics, though you weren't weak.

Too bad you had gotten into too many fights that caused your school record to drop at the lowest of low.

The dreams you've had were weird. You, at first, thought that you had grown older, done different things, lived a different life, but all of those were dreams; lucid, but merely dreams (but they only occurred two times, so, perhaps they don't count). Your eyes scanned the dots once more, still unimpressed with what you've gotten. Head drooping down, you let out another sigh, one full of frustration and exhaustion - you wouldn't be able to write a poem at any rate, would you?

"Oh, how this wounds me," you said to yourself. "Woe is me, woe is me... I guess."

Leaning back in your seat, you stared at your ceiling, blinking. The ceiling remained the same, nothing had changed. Maybe, I can just write about dreams or something... Gah! I hate this... You sulked and sulked and sulked, but nothing would change the fact that you couldn't write anything—

Ah. Now you know why. Someone had been murdered, you remembered. Not someone you knew, but for some reason, you felt like you recognized the person who had murdered the random nobody. Still, you weren't sure, and it didn't matter.

"...Weird," you muttered, balancing a pen between your lips and nose. "Really weird."

You closed your eyes, letting out a soft sigh, slowly sinking into your seat without a care. You felt tired, and you didn’t want to do any more work, though you weren’t doing any work anyway.

“Oi, [Name]!”

Your eyes open, and you blink. Slowly taking the pen between your lips and nose, you stare at the ceiling that shouldn’t have changed, yet it did. You slowly lower your head, still blinking, and looked at the person in front of you that had long hair, yellow eyes, and sharp teeth (though, that was his original appearance; the one you weren’t used to seeing).

”…Baji,” you acknowledge, expression forming into one of boredom. “What do you need, more tutor lessons?”

He gives you a scowl, before grinning, jutting his thumb behind him, exclaiming, “Nah, I wanted to hang out with ya. Me, you, and the others!”

A grim expression replaces your bored one, and you wave your hand in the air, other hand in your pocket. Leaning back into your seat, you twirl the pen in your hands, and you simply tell him, “No.” You didn’t want to hang out; there was no need to. “We’re not friends, Baji; I’m only your tutor, or whatever.” You ignore the feeling that this wasn’t a dream (but you wished it was).

The boy lets out a breath, crossing his arms. “Man… You’re a guy, ya know that?”

”I… I’d hope I’m a guy—“

”That’s not what I meant!” he barks. He turns his head, a frown appearing on his face. Upon your expression, he frowns even more. “Listen, I’m only asking you anyway because of you helping me out with school and shit.”

Your hand twitches and your brow furrows, a crease forming. This scene feels like it’s repeating, going on and on and on and on—why? You didn’t realize you were staring at him, until he waves a hand in your face, obviously impatient. “…Uh,” you blink, “sorry—No, I don’t… want to go.”

A small huff.

You only shrug in response, slowly getting up from your seat. You glance down at the floor, noticing your bag beside the leg of the chair. Why? You stare at it with narrowed eyes, distressed, but you hid it; the boy before you didn’t need to know what was happening, anyway. Grabbing your bag, you slung it across your shoulder, sparing Baji a glance. “…Why are you still here?” you ask, raising a brow, “Don’t you have your gang to go to?”

“Anyway, I’m going home. Bye,” you mutter, shuffling past the long-haired boy.

✎______

“You’re very selfish, Baji.”

”Huh? And you’re acting like you’re not?”

You rest your chin on your hand, lips in a thin line. You were with Baji and Chifuyu, who was technically his underclassmen, but he got held back a lot of times. You cock your head to the side, slowly gazing over towards the blonde, “How d’you manage to hang out with him? He’s a brute.”

”The hell did you say?!” Baji’s hand slams down onto the table booth you all sat at, glaring at you. “I’m no brute!”

You give him a blank stare. “…I can assume that your ma said you were a ‘handsome fellow’ or somethin’?”

Chifuyu coughs at that, hiding his snort. “C’mon, [Name], do you really think a guy like him is handsome?” He has a grin on his face, leaning back into his own seat, amused by the bickering (or maybe exhausted, who knows?).

You raise a brow, glancing over at Baji, who was fuming. Rubbing your chin, you hum in thought. “He’s pretty…” you say, trailing off, ignoring the suspicious look from Chifuyu and the arrogant look from Baji, and continued, “…for a girl.”

”Wh- I’M NOT A GIRL!”

”PFFFT—“

You grin, amused. Leaning back into your seat, you look back up to the ceiling, the grin dropping slowly. As fun as it was, can this dream end? Your hand raised up towards your face, pinching it as hard as you could, but it only left a mark.

It left a mark.

You lower your head once more, eyes staring at the wooden table that seemed too polished for its own good, the light showing your reflection. You were back in your 15-year-old body, still in middle school, though it made no sense. Shifting, your eyes darted towards the other two, one older, one younger, and they seemed the same from middle school; laughing, smiling, joking around.

Your hand clenches, gripping your uniform pants.

”…Am I dreaming?” you whisper to yourself, “Is this nothing but a mere illusion, to hinder my dob- doubts—? Fuck.”

“Did you stumble over your words again, [Name]?” Baji teases, leaning over towards you.

Your face flushes red, and you narrow your eyes at him. “No,” you say indignantly, “I did nuh- not. I did, not.”

”But, you did, just now,” Chifuyu points out. “Right, Baji-san? He just stumbled over his words?”

”…I said—“

”No, yeah, he did.”

”I SAID I FUCKING DIDN’T—“

✎______ [Name] occasionally stumbles over his words, despite knowing so many. And he ends up getting mad over it.

You rest your head on the table, grumbling profanities. Despite being smart, despite all of this, you were still foul-mouthed, and you were still a ‘child.’ You muffle out a small, “One day, I’ll kill the both of you, just you wait.”

Baji lets out a snort, patting your back harshly, “Sure you will.”

“I will.”

Chifuyu nods sarcastically, finished with his noodles. “Yes, of course, you will.”

You roll your eyes, muttering, “Well, fuck you guys, too.” You glance over at the pair, before you looked away, not wanting to deal with them. But, you continued to pinch your arm, not caring about the pain, for you just wanted to go back to your regular life.

"Hey."

I want to go back. Let me be a poet, once more, you sigh wistfully, leaning onto your fist, zoning out. I need to be a poet, once more; I graduated, did I not? I did, I did, so then why, why can't I wake up?

"[Name]."

This is all a dream.

"[Name], wake up!"

You blink, eyes wide. Turning your head towards the pair, you stare for a few seconds, before blinking once more. "...Sorry, what?" you say with a smile, ignoring the aching pain in your arm now, "Did you need something? Or were you guys planning on bothering me again."

Chifuyu narrows his eyes at you, suspicious of how you were acting. "...No, you were just pinching your arm really hard and not saying anything about it," he remarks, crossing his arms. "Are you some sort of masochist?"

Baji raises a brow, checking you out as he leans forward, "...I wouldn't put it past him to be a masochist. He gives off that sort of vibe, you know?"

"Oi, what's that s'posed to mean?" you scowl, pushing yourself away from the two. "I'm no fuck—I'm not a masochist." Despite you saying all of that, Baji only laughs, hand ruffling your hair.

"...I hate you all."

"Sure you do."

✎______

You weren't sure if you had this feeling that you were going to insane or if you were lucid dreaming (it was probably both), but it was slowly getting to you. Each step felt like it was pulling you towards the ground, keeping you there from moving on, from trying to back to the present (or was it future?). But was it even the present if you're you now?

It didn't occur to you, that you were back in the past. Every dream, every time you close your eyes, every time you open your eyes, there's a new view.

But there were no views this time, as you stared, blankly wandering around on your own. Baji left to do his own thing, as did Chifuyu. You weren't sure what they were doing, but you didn't want to get involved with gang fights anyway.

Instead, you chose to go back to the store nearby your old apartment (well, technically, your current one, huh?). You haven't met the rest of the Toman members except for the 'Founding Members', but even then, you didn't want to join. They weren't your friends (well, in the past, you didn't consider them friends, but they probably considered you a friend), and you didn't want to be their friend.

Well, maybe you did.

It gets lonely, anyway. Having to repeat life over and over again, without knowing who's the cause (once you find out who's causing it, though...).

You look at the cashier, hands in your pockets as you slump over, eyes drooping due to exhaustion. You could feel yourself beginning to tire throughout the day, yet it was only the afternoon still, almost evening.

"Can I have one pack of cigarettes?"

✎______

You lean back against the wall, looking off into the distance, sighing. You had the pack of cigarettes in your hand, glancing around the area, putting a cancer stick in your mouth, letting it hang off from between your lips. Tilting your head, you let out a huff. You were only 15-years-old, yet you were originally 26-years-old at the start (or was it at the original? You weren't sure, too many things ran through your head, really).

Drip.

Ignoring the dripping sounds that slowly grew into pitter-patter, you didn't bother to light the cigarette, simply satisfied with the feeling of it on your lips. A small sigh was drawn out, your eyes gazing at the droplets of rain that splattered on the cement, sometimes getting onto your boots.

Drip drip drip drip drip drip drip—

Rubbing the back of your head, you glanced away, pushing yourself away from the wall. You begin to walk, not caring about the rain that made you damp, your hair flattening on your head. Ignoring it, you clench and unclench your fists, trying to still wake yourself up from this dream that seemed all too real (you wish you could wake up, but you never will).

You look up at the rain, humming, sometimes squinting due to the droplets hitting you straight in the eye. Your face twitches, but you shrug your shoulders.

"Rain's a bad sign, ain't it? Especially if it's heavy like this..." you say to yourself, walking on the sidewalk. "August 3rd... Huh. The day of the festival... Hm."

You close your eyes, shrugging once again.

Looking up at the rain once more, you say to yourself quietly, voice barely near a whisper, "...Is this a dream that I can wake up from, or is this a dream that I'm stuck in forever? Hm... I wonder..." you look back towards the road, "...if the world just hates me after all."

A small laugh left your lips.

"Yeah. The world hates me, for sure."

#tokyorev x reader #male reader #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #yuureoo

[dreamingmanip]

"MADNESS LOVE"

*GIF NOT MINE* 

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Warnings: None (if I need one let me know in my ask!)

Prompt: NONE

Word Count: 1,860

A/N: Okay, this time I didn’t use any prompt from my board on Pinterest. I came with the idea last night (thanks insomnia), and I thought I could make it in 2 parts. Let me know what do you think in my ask, is always open for you. If you want t, like it and reblog it. Thank you very much! 

A/N 2: I’m gonna pin this imagine so you can easily find it on my page, I will do the same when posting part 2. :)

A/N 3: This awesome gif is from Pinterest but, it comes from Wattpad. Her account is Ariana-Fic and you can find it in her fic “Soldiers in Intelligence”.

Being a cop wasn't easy, putting your life in danger to protect and serve others sometimes wasn't successful. It was 50/50, every morning you will be walking out home not knowing if you could come back.

It had been three weeks without a person in the unit. Detective Jay Halstead had been wounded in a crossfire in a covert operation; when one of you got hurt everyone took responsibility even if it wasn't that way, only for some it was harder to try not to blame yourself for what happened. You had blamed Hailey for not covering Jay enough even though you knew it wasn't her fault, you even avoided her a few days after that. 

She was her partner way long before you were assigned to Intelligence by Sergeant Voight.

Narcotics helped Intelligence in a case; it was your case but somehow their case intertwined with yours at some point, both departments agreed to work to stop the overdoses in the area. You were the best at CO, so it made sense for Sergeant Voight to pick Jay, one of his best undercovers for a purchase. Your skills didn't go unnoticed by anyone in the Intelligence Unit, even for someone with experience like Jay. After the case was over he offered you a spot in his Unit, you doubt it for a moment, you were good in Narcotics, good pay, accumulated vacation days, Voight wasn't known for being a patient person and some co-workers encouraged you to take that step by commenting on how crazy you must be not to accept such an offer. 

You were well received by all, perhaps except for Sergeant Trudy Platt, who didn't like strangers or new people in the district. Jay was among the first to congratulate you when you arrived, for a moment you thought you'd be partners but Voight wouldn't break his dream team, so he paired you with Kevin Atwater, whom you've been entrusting your life and darkest secrets to ever since. 

Atwater was the first one you told about the nights you stayed late with Jay in Molly's, he was the first to know how those late nights became visiting his apartment, to end up arriving together one morning, to the district. He had told you about Voight's rules and how he was firm with them after Jay's last relationship had gone bad with his partner and that had affected his way of working a bit.

Jay and you decided to go slowly, the only one who would know about you two would be Kevin, it was agreed at least, but Hailey Upton was very good at her job so she soon realized what was happening between you. She had supported you, although she did not agree to hide this from her sergeant, she wanted to see her partner happy.

They were all at their desks, doing paperwork on a case they had closed the day before, when Trudy appeared on the stairs.

"Guess who came back from her mandatory break."

You looked up from the papers in front of you to look at a smiling Jay Halstead, who was looking at Trudy with a raised eyebrow.

"Nice to see you too, Trudy."

"Yeah, now try to get away from the bullets for a while, I don't want to have to worry about any of you for a long time."

Kevin and Adam were the first to approach him, joking and patting him on the shoulder. Kim and Hailey were next, giving him a loving hug before heading back to his places. You had stood up to lean against your desk, your arms crossed over your chest, Jay leaned closer, although he kept some distance, the mocking smile still on his lips. You were the first to speak.

"I see you survived, Halstead."

"Hey, don't say it like that, I'm going to think you're not happy to see me alive."

You pressed your lips together so as not to smile because of his comment, it was the game that both played in front of everyone else, the sarcastic comments to pretend that they were not getting along as well as they should. You nodded and looked at him.

"It's good to have you back."

Jay's smile widened and he put his hands on his hips.

"Look at that, you're happy to have me here."

You rolled your eyes and sat back in your chair when Voight left his office, leaning against the doorframe.

"How are you Jay?"

Jay nodded his head looking at his boss.

"Good, Sarge."

"Good, because I just hung up with the Superintendent and he wants to acknowledge what you did. Tomorrow there will be a public event, downtown."

You all clapped for a moment, before Voight continued speaking.

"Now try not to die until tomorrow."

Without saying more he returned to his office. Jay went to his desk to catch up on all the overdue paperwork, from time to time you looked up to observe him, you were glad to have him back but the moment you knew about the award, you felt a bitter taste in your mouth. Why were they going to decorate him when he almost died? 

You stood up and went to the coffee room, took one of the cups on the wall and poured yourself some, you still felt that bitter taste in your mouth. You heard footsteps behind you and looked over your shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

Jay asked, taking another cup, reaching for the pot and pouring himself some coffee as well. You leaned a little to look towards the door, checking that no one was around to hear you. You started to get tired of that, checking over your shoulders to see if no one could hear your conversations or whatever you were doing behind closed doors.

“Uhm, yes, I’m just a little tired. We have been in some paperwork duties from a few cases from the past weeks.”

You took a sip from the cup, making a little grin at the taste of the coffee.

“Well, just for the record, I know when something’s bothering you. We have been together almost a year.”

He looked satisfied with himself, and you couldn’t deny it because he was right, Jay knew you so well almost since day one. You looked at him and gave him a little smile, his mood was good after dealing with a grumpy man at his house because he couldn’t get back to work after being shot, and you definitely didn't want to be the one to screw it up. 

Kim walks into the room without realizing the interruption she just made or how you take a little more distance between you two, starts a little chat with Jay and you decide to go back to your desk.

Later, in the locker room, you were finishing picking up some things from your little blue locker, putting them in the gym bag you were carrying that day when Kevin appeared next to you, opening his own locker.

"I don't see you so happy today, you were quiet for most of the day, man you didn't even laugh at Ruzek's nonsense. I thought having Jay back would make you feel better."

You sighed and took a seat on the bench, rubbing your hands over your face before looking at your best friend. You played with your lower lip a bit before speaking.

"Kevin, am I crazy for wanting more in this relationship? I mean, we've worked well without anyone knowing, what difference would it make if we did from the knowledge of Voight, of our friends?"

They both fell silent when an officer entered the room and moments later he left the room, you clenched your fist and struck the cold metal in front of you, you felt frustrated and helpless. Kevin sat next to you, rubbing his hands together as he took his time answering you.

"Y/N, you are a pretty strong woman who knows what she wants, don't let anyone make you feel like you can't, not even some of my friends. If you want, I can talk to him, you know man to man" .

His comment made you laugh a little, releasing a bit of the tension in your chest, you bumped his shoulder with yours, pushing him a little.

"Thanks Kev. I don't think that talk is necessary but I will take it into account for future problems."

"Whenever you need me, girl."

You took your bag, Kevin had helped you lift your spirits but you knew you had to do something with your feelings, for better or for worse. 

Jay was in the kitchen when he heard you arrive, a smile formed on his face as he came out to greet you, an ice cold beer in his hand and a hockey game in the background on television. He walked over to you to kiss your forehead, took your bag and set it aside by the door.

"It took you a little longer than usual to get here, I'm sorry I didn't wait for you. Trudy wanted me to fill out some forms for tomorrow and I left earlier."

You couldn't look at Jay without stopping to think about the consequences that your words would have, you knew about his past and you didn't want to be the evil witch who would ruin what you both had until that day. You settled next to him, resting your head on his chest while he watched the game and he made imaginary shapes on the skin of your arm.

It took you a few minutes before you could form a sentence, your voice lacking the strength you had gathered all the way to his apartment.

"Jay, what if we tell Voight we're together?"

Your voice caught his attention, looking at you completely confused.

"Y/N, we both know that we can't say anything at the moment if we want to continue working in the same unit."

You slowly sat up again, turning a little so you could face him, Jay was sure of what he was saying, it showed in his face and in the confidence with which he had spoken.

"Jay, I'm tired of having to hide from everyone, like what we're doing is wrong. Voight will understand if-"

"I've been through this before Y/N, I know what I'm talking about. I also refused to hide my thing with Erin, but things changed. If we tell this to Voight he will remove someone from the team and we know it will not be me."

You felt the air come out of your lungs, as if someone had hit you, Jay realized his mistake when you stood up, he began to move his head trying to speak, he left the beer on the coffee table trying to take your hand .

"Y/N, it's not what- it's not what I meant ..."

Unaware of your movements, you started to take your things in a frenzy, Jay seemed to be talking to you but you couldn't identify his words or what he was trying to tell you, you just left.

To be continued...

#Jay Halstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x you #chicago pd #chicago pd imagine #hailey upton #kevin atwater #hank voight #adam ruzek #kim burgess #molly's bar

[dancingazaleas]

𖨆. 04 / all for us

summary: a few weeks later, you’re finally allowed to leave your room. however, you notice something that you later wish you hadn’t.

note: i had the worst headache whilst editing, i apologize for mistakes.

taglist: @the-sun-baby @voltairelesecond @baelo80 @uniquepickle

warnings/notes: cursing, last chapter was the calm before the storm, brutal assault, abuse, manipulation, blood, slight mind break, drugging, use of alcohol

YOU were surprised whenever erwin and levi told you that you'd been good enough to venture the house a little more a few weeks later. you had been doing the same thing as before, sitting in your room and crying, hanging with the two men for two hours, and back to being lonely.

right now, you were stuck in your room. staring out of the window into the garden with dull eyes, silent tears running down your face.

you want to go home and sleep in zeke's arms. you want to tell pieck you love her and you didn't mean what you'd said to her. you wanted to play goofy songs on the piano with bertholdt. you wanted to lay in the sun with porco and reiner while they both commit to a workout routine.

you'd do anything to have that again. anything.

you wiped away your tears whenever you heard footsteps. the door opened to reveal levi followed by his bear of a boyfriend. erwin had on a gentle smile while levi looked the same; irritated.

"c'mon, you're playing for me today," levi grunts and your eyes light up at the opportunity.

you haven't played any instrument since you were taken. your hands missed their place on the objects, fingers delicately strumming the strings or pressing on the keys. they missed their home, just like yourself.

you're glad that they hadn't caught any signs of you crying. if they had, you would've had to stay in the room and talk it out with them.

you obediently follow behind them, nightgown swishing as you walk excitedly. you watch them unlock a door that leads to your quarters, and for the first time you're in the living room without crying.

the living room is big and clean, so much to where you wonder if it's even been touched. you turn your gaze to the left, eyes acknowledge the large, black front door. your eyes widened while the voice in your head screams at you.

'RUN!!!' it says, 'THIS IS YOUR ONLY CHANCE!!’

your eyes dart down to look at the doorknobs and it's locks. the door was left unlocked.

you gulp down the ball starting to form in your throat and try to ignore how you've started to sweat. you look back at levi and erwin, who are not paying any mind to what you do. they made the mistake of not holding your chain and not having one of them walk behind you.

before you can even really think, you're gliding across the room to the door. swinging the door open just as levi and erwin turn to scream at you, and you almost feel your stomach drop at the view before you.

it's a long stone walkway with a gate sitting at the end, almost teasingly. you run quickly, ignoring how the rough stone scrapes roughly against the soles of your feet. the window is rushing through your hair and slapping against your face, something you relish in temporarily.

your legs are starting to ache from how fast you're pumping them, trying to get to the gate as quick as you can. the wind has you tearing up once more, but you reach up and wipe away the small tears.

you ignore the sound of levi's footsteps as well as his and erwin's angry screams, you're so close, you're almost there.

your mind flashes to porco and reiner for a brief moment. you thank them in your head, now happy with how the two would make you race with them during their workout routines sometimes.

you're almost there, your fingers even graze against the black metal of the fence. but your breath is being knocked out of your body as you're tugged backwards.

your chain. your chain was the cause of your demise, it had been loosely swinging behind you and over your shoulder as you ran.

your head along with your back slam against the stone, loud screams of pain bursting through your mouth. you're sliding towards the person your chain is being tugged by, nightgown now tearing apart because of the friction.

levi is above you, eyes looking almost animalistic along with an angry face that stares at you as he huffs to get his breath back. you lay in the fetal position, crying out at the tip of levi's shoe kicks into your stomach. it has you barfing, but as soon as you finish levi's hands are grabbing you by the hair and dragging you back to the house.

but halfway down the pathway, he lets go and it makes you nervous. his foot comes into contact with your nose, blooding immediately gushing out of it. you sob out after he kicks you in the same spot once more, you think you hear a crack.

his foot kicks at your ribs now, taking all the breath out of your body while your eyes go blank. you can't think, even as levi's knuckles connect with your jaw. you spit out blood and cry at the scratch you get from levi's wedding band.

his hand is tangled with your hair, and instead of trying to pull away, he uses it as leverage. he squats onto a knee, eyes widened as he slams your face into the stone. you screech, nails clawing at the rough terrain and look to erwin.

"HELP!!! HELP, PLEASE," you gargle out blood mixed with your spit, reaching a shaking hand to him.

"HE'S GONNA KILL ME, PLEASE," you wail just as levi hits you again.

"that's enough levi," erwin says, now standing behind levi and staring over his shoulder.

you look absolutely damaged. blood, spit, and tears smeared across your face and scrapes all over your fragile body. levi slams your head down one last time, detangling his hand from your hair and storming off.

erwin only sighs and takes you in his arms, ignoring how your whole body trembles the moment he touches it.

"you're ignorant," he shakes his head, "i told you that levi would hurt you if you tried to run, and you didn't listen."

he's placing you onto your bed after he's walked back inside, eyebrows furrowed and nostrils flared from irritation. his palm smacks you across your face, and you sob from the pain.

"let me tell you something," he murmurs into your ear, "even if you'd gotten passed the gates, we would've found you."

you're panting and sobbing, wanting erwin to step away from you.

"that little collar of your's has a tracker," he whispers, "you'll never be able to get away."

those are the last words you hear before you black out.

————

you sit in the bathtub a few days later, listening to the gentle singing of erwin as he drenches you in warm water.

it burns against your skin, something you'd pointed out, but they ignore. you supposed it's an extension of your punishment.

when you get out of the bath, erwin tends to your wounds. he puts on a new bandage over the cut on your face from levi's wedding band, and new bandages onto your arms and torso.

later that night, erwin finds you curled in a ball into the corner of your dark closet. hands protectively shielding your head and covering your ears, shoulders quivering as tears run down your face.

"darling," he frowns, "you've got to stop coming in here."

you don't answer, which doesn't surprise him, and only pull your hands closer to yourself. he knows you won't willingly get up, so he brings the tray into the closet.

"i have to feed you, i need you to comply," you relax, hesitantly taking your arms away from your head and lowering your knees onto the floor.

he feeds you in silence, the only noise being the air conditioner coming off and on as he spends his time in there. he notices how you struggle to swallow down your food, probably from how levi's kicks damaged your ribs along with your stomach. before he can leave, he hears your hoarse voice asking for an answer.

"erwin...," you say, "how... how did you guys kidnap me?"

erwin sighs a bit, deciding to get himself comfortable as he begins the story.

————

it was a rainy night, raindrops froze against your skin as they pelted towards the ground. erwin and levi, your newfound friends, had invited you to go drinking with them a couple of weeks prior. you accepted with hesitance, but the hesitance was thrown out of the window whenever you and pieck had gotten in a fight earlier that evening.

you needed to get your mind off of the heated argument, pieck told you that you're a fuck up while you said that you hate her. you knew that you would regret this in the morning, but right now you're way too sad to even give a fuck.

when you enter the club, you find levi and erwin sitting and talking to one another at the bar. they both already have drinks and look as handsome as ever.

you sing out a greeting as you take the stool between them, ordering yourself a fruity drink.

"glad you could make it," erwin smiled to you, bringing his transparent drink to his lips.

"i promised i'd be here! besides, after the night i've had, i deserve to get drunk. what are you two even drinking," you smirked while looking to levi, bumping your shoulder against his.

he rolled his eyes your antics, while erwin spoke, "levi isn't really able to get drunk, but he's drinking whiskey. i'm drinking bourbon. what happened?"

you sighed, but it's cut off whenever the bartender puts your drink onto the counter in front of you.

"my best friend and i got into a fight, something about the house we share and something her cat did. she said i was a fuck up, i said i hated her. we'll be crying and apologizing by tomorrow," you fanned your hand and take a swig of your drink.

erwin opened his mouth to say something, but you interrupt him with a hoot as you slam the glass back to the counter.

"that's strong!" you laughed, barely noticing how quickly you downed it, "can i have another one?!"

"you shouldn't drink too much," erwin said while he pats your back.

you can't yell at him since levi asks a question before you could, "wanna have shots?"

"yes, please! what should be get," you grinned, the both of you ignoring the disapproving look from erwin.

"kamikaze shots," he smirks, "unless you can't handle it."

"are you fuckin' kidding?! let's go, right now," you're overly excited, slightly buzzed as you move around.

said shots were placed before you and levi. you picked it up and clinked glasses with him as you laugh, slamming it back down to the counter and downing it with a grimace. you shouted out in excitement once again, throwing your hands into the air.

"let's fuckin' go!!"

"let's not," erwin pulled your hands back into your lap, which you giggle at.

levi orders you another drink, you don't exactly hear what it is even whenever the bartender puts it down in front of you. your words are slurring as you laugh and chat with the two of them, eyelids heavy as you feel yourself getting more and more tired.

"hey, (name)," levi pushed his knee against your's, spinning the liquid in his cup around.

"wh... what's up," you grinned stupidly whilst laying your head against the counter.

"we like you, romantically," the statement had you sobering up, eyes shooting open and head shooting up.

"huh? what'd you say? i think i'm really drunk now."

"i said what i said," erwin's slightly panicking over your shoulder, "would you want to be with us?"

you squinted your eyes, temples suddenly throbbing with pain. you came out to have fun, not this.

"no," you sighed sadly, "i don't like you guys like that. plus, i'd feel intrusive."

levi gave a drawn out hum as he takes your drink from the bartender and putting it onto the coaster before you.

"it's okay, don't worry," levi shrugged, hand retreating back to his glass of whiskey.

you sighed in relief and break into a smile, once again drowning yourself in the fruity drink levi's given you. when you slam it back down, you cringe and your face is pulled into a grimace once more.

the drink tasted weird, nothing like the name implied. you try to wrack what alcohol exactly tastes the way this one does, salty. it tastes salty. and it's not like it's only alcohol in the drink, at least you think.

your eyes shoot wide as you come to the realization. this is a rape-date drink. and you've just downed the drink within seconds.

your mouth opened, but nothing but gibberish comes out. the last thing you see before your eyes droop is levi's small smirk with arms opened wide.

————

the story has you recoiling into a ball again, tears streaming out of your face while erwin tries to put a hand on your shoulder.

levi inflicted so much pain. physical and mental. he's the one who got you drunk, he's the one who drugged you, he's the one who slapped you day one, and he's the one who beat you. and erwin helped. erwin ordered.

"don't touch me, please," you whisper, backing yourself further and further into the corner of the closet.

"please, i want to comfort you," he frowns, once again reaching his hand out.

"NO!!" you cry and slap his hand, immediately retracting from fear.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i didn't mean to," you fumble with your words and curl inwards more, "please don't hurt me again, please. i don't want to hurt anymore."

erwin's heart aches as you start to tremble, noticing how hard you were digging your nails into your scalp.

"it's okay," he says calmly, "i won't hurt you."

you choke out your words, "but levi will. he'll hurt me again."

erwin stays silent, knowing full well that you were correct. erwin was barely able to smack you without feeling bad, he couldn't imagine kicking you in the ribs. erwin can feel a ball in the back of his throat, picking up the tray in silence and leaving you alone.

you cry as you lay on the floor now, fetal position. you're going to fall asleep soon, and you're okay with you. you feel slightly more protected in the closet on the floor than in your bed.

your eyes are fluttering close.

you hope that you won't get hurt again.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #levi ackerman #snk levi #aot erwin #dark content #erwin x y/n #erwin x levi #erwin smith #snk erwin #erwin x reader #commander erwin #levi x you #levi x y/n #levi x reader #shingeki no kyoujin levi #levi attack on titan #tw: assault #sorrels.allforus💒

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Stay With Me (Pt. 05 of 09)

Pairing: Daryl Dixon X Reader

Word count: 3 K

Summary: Daryl found you surrounded by the dead, stuck in the backseat of a car. You were wishing for death to take you away for quite a while now, but, as you slid back and forth into consciousness, there was only one thing keeping you alive. Him, the man with blue, worried eyes and kind voice. Your beaten up body was ready to give up, too wounded and broken to keep going. But this man, who went out of his way to save your life is the only thing in the world holding you up. And, because of him, you feel something you haven't felt in a very long time: hope. Wherever he's taking you, you want to get there, and not only to be buried. For what it feels like the very first time, you want to live. He takes you back to Alexandria, but even there, the nightmares and the terror from all the torture and pain you've been through keeps creeping closer, and Daryl, your hero, is the only one who can keep that all away.

Warnings: Mentions and description (not graphic) of past abuse; post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD); some violence at the end of the story (a little bit graphic, but not so much); blood.

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{The Walking Dead Masterlist}

I want to thank my awesome friend @jodiereedus22 , who helped me (and still does) a lot to get this story done. She's also a writer and she's amazing so please go check her work!!

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Touch

You're right back into the dark spot you were. If it wasn't for Carol, you'd be in bed all day, completely lost. She keeps you moving. She helps you shower, chattering even though you don't answer. She helps you get downstairs, allowing you to do something for lunch or dinner. Carol's patience is unbelievable. You wonder when she'll get tired of you too. When she'll leave, with rude words and no further explanation.

Being here without Daryl is weird. Unusual. You didn't know the exact place he occupied in your heart, but now it's pretty clear. But you don't know how it happened. You thought this constant necessity of being with him came from the situation. From the safety he provided. When he's next to you in bed, your head on his chest, you know he won't let anything hurt you. Not even the nightmares had that power anymore, the bad memories are just that. Memories. But now... Daryl is more than a hero to you. He's something else entirely. He's the only one you'll ever want to have this close. The only man you'll ever want to hug, to lean on, to hold next to you during the night.

But what's the use of such acknowledgment now? Daryl left. He literally ran from your touch, from you. And of course he did. You came into his life, a broken, vulnerable thing, needing him so desperately. Of course he'd only endure you for a while. Now, he's done with that and whatever you feel doesn't matter. It's over.

“(Y/N), honey?” Carol calls, coming to sit beside you on the couch. Judith left half an hour ago, but still, you didn't move. You just stood there, drowning in the new, stupid feelings you just found out. “Don't cry, sweetie.”

“It's been six days.” You whisper, a hand on your heart. “He left because of me. I-I pushed him into going who knows where.”

“Daryl didn't go because of you. He went because of himself.” Carol takes a deep breath, talking low. She's always scared you'll slide back into the walls you built around you, so she's always careful. “He's complicated. He's been raised to believe nobody wants or cares for him, or...” When her voice fades, you look up, meeting her eyes. “Or love him.”

This makes you giggle, humorlessly. “What? He's... He's amazing. He's kind and smart, and strong, and handsome, Daryl is... Daryl is honest. And noble. How can he think people won't care for him?” The words flow out, too fast, because it's absurd to hear Carol saying that. It sounds like a joke. “You can't expect me to believe Daryl doesn't see all that.”

Carol's lips break into a smile, you don't get why. “He doesn't.”

“Then I'll make him see.” The same moment the words come out, you remember that he left. That he rejected you. “Well, I...”

“You have feelings for him, don't you? This isn't just about him saving you. There's something else.”

Fixing the blanket around your shoulders, you don't even try to dry off the tears. There will be others to take their place. “It doesn't matter, he...” You've been rejected before. You've had a crush on guys who didn't like you back. But this... This actually hurts. Hurts more than the wounds that still mark your body. “Y-you didn't see it. It's like... He doesn't even want to touch me and when he comes back I'll make sure he won't have to keep helping me.” You're sobbing by the end of the sentence, your body shaking as you cry.

You know you'll be lost without him, never able to feel like that again. The sensation he brought you is unexplainable. Irreplaceable. No man will ever make you feel that way, but that's not his fault. Maybe it's yours. Maybe it's nobody's fault. Everything you know is that you won't let anyone get this close ever again.

“Alright, honey. It's alright.” Carol hugs you, holding you tight as you cry on her shoulder. “Trust me when I say Daryl has very strong feelings for you too. He's just not very good at showing it.”

“Don't.” You mutter. “You can't say these things just to make me feel better, I know he doesn't.”

“Listen, honey. Listen.” She pulls away, drying off some of your tears with her thumbs. “Daryl is scared of how he feels towards you. Believe me, I know him.” Refusing to believe her, to have any kind of hope, you shake your head no. “The reason why he's running from it is that he thinks you can do better. You're young, beautiful, and sweet. He doesn't think he deserves you.”

“Why would he think that? Is he stupid or something?” You manage to say in between sobs, hugging Carol again.

“He can be stupid sometimes, yes.” She rubbs your back. “He will be back and I'm sure you'll get this right. Both of you.”

You don't answer, you just stay there, crying.

More days go by, and you only know he's alright because Rick has a radio, and he talks to Michonne daily, so everyone knows they're both alright.

The only thing that keeps you moving is little Judith. You also got to meet some of the other kids, since Carol decided to bring them here to play with Judith. You love having them around, it makes you forget about things for a while. Carol even introduced you to Melanie, a pregnant woman, and she also starts hanging out at your house, making you her official babysitter. She got here a few months ago, already pregnant. She used to go scavenging before, and that's what she wants to do for this community when her child is born, and she trusts you to be with them while she's away. Knowing you might have something useful to do makes you feel better. Makes you feel like you have something to offer and being with the kids is amazing.

But, eventually, everything comes crashing down, mostly at night, when you lie down all alone, surrounded by darkness. You often dream of Daryl. He's back, with you, not pushing you away. But when the morning comes, his usual place in the bed is still empty.

As the sun sets, you have Judith on your lap, her head on your chest. She's calming down after crying for her father. It took a long time to make her settle down, and now you're trying to make her sleep a little. Rubbing her back, you keep singing the only lullaby you can come up with. “Lavender's green, dilly, dilly, lavender's blue. If you love me, dilly, dilly, I will love you. I love to dance, dilly, dilly, I love to–” You're cut short by the door being open. Terror creeps over as you look up, and the fear is replaced by a mix of so many feelings you can't even name.

Daryl stands there, his eyes locked on yours and despite the distance, you can see the amazing, breathtaking shade of blue that makes your heart beat faster. You hold onto Judith when she moves a little, but she soon settles down again. But your eyes are focused on Daryl, and as much as you want to look away, you can't. It's stronger than you.

“Y-you're alive.” You stutter, holding back the tears. It's been two weeks. Too long, it felt like endless months. “Are you hurt?”

“No.” He simply says. “I'll... Shower. ‘M covered with walker's blood.”

“Ok.” He finally moves, going upstairs and you can finally breathe.

Daryl is back. He's right here and everything you want is to jump in his arms. But you can't. He doesn't want to have anything to do with you. He's done with taking care of you. You have to keep a distance.

You're trying to calm down, focusing on humming the lullaby to keep Judith in her peaceful sleep, trying not to think about Daryl, up there, under the same roof. You try not to think about his arms, always so warm and gentle around you.

“(Y/N).” Carol gets your attention, and you see her coming downstairs, being followed by Daryl. “Let me take Judith to see her dad.”

“Sure.” You burst out, watching as she picks Judith up, careful not to wake her up. “And you two need to talk so I'll stay at Rick's for a while.” She says in a low voice, giving Daryl a look.

You're frozen as she moves to the door, not wanting to risk look at Daryl and burst into tears.

You wanted him back, of course you did, but now, you don't know what to do. You're too scared of your feelings, of what you might do.

“I-I'll head upstairs.” Grabbing the clutch Denise got you, you stumble to your feet.

“We need ta’ talk,” Daryl says, but you ignore him, struggling with the clutch in a way you never did before.

“No, we're-we're fine. I'm fine.” You succeed to climb the first step, but on the second one, you move the wounded leg before you move the clutch, and this added to the whole situation makes you lose your balance and crash down. Luckily, your weight falls on the good leg, but that doesn't mean your body won't complain. A groan leaves your lips, and you feel Daryl's arms pulling you.

“(Y/N), be–”

“Don't touch me!” It's useless now. You're crying, your heart is broken and you can't take it. You can't control it. “Y-you don't like it when I touch you so don't touch me!”

“What the hell makes ya think I don't like when ya touch me?!” Daryl suddenly yells, his voice matching yours. He seems to regret it though, his eyes softening. “What... Who told ya that?”

“I don't need anyone to tell me anything. I'm not stupid.” It comes out in between the sobs as you sit down on the steps, throwing the clutch away. “You don't need to take care of me anymore! I... I'll get better and you won't have to think about me anymore. I can deal with the pain, the fear the nightmares! I can! If you don't want me anymore it's fine!” You yell at the top of your lungs, not proud of the way you're breaking down. But what can you do? Your heart is broken.

“I ain't–”

“You don't have to go in a hell of a long run to be away from me! I can just find another house to live in and get the hell out of your way if that's what you want and I'm so damn sorry I need you so much, Daryl. I'm so damn sorry I like you, or-or–” You lose your train of thought, sobbing uncontrollably, looking at the floor because you can't bring yourself to face Daryl now.

“Ya got it all wrong.” He mutters, coming to sit on the stairs, but you move back, pushing yourself against the wall. If you get any closer to him, you'll fail. You'll hug and hold and kiss him.

“Stop it, Daryl! I know you're tired of me so j-just stay away if that's what you want.” The tears soak your face, and you have your eyes closed as if it could hide you from him.

“Ya got it all wrong. Ya shouldn't want ta’ touch me or be around me. Yer so... pretty n’ young n’ good, ya shouldn't want ta’ touch me or be around me. I don't deserve to be with someone like ya n’ yer stupid ta’ want to be around me.” He yells back, raising his voice above yours, but despite the hint of anger, you don't feel scared. But you do need time to take in what he's saying. What he means. “Yer too young. M’ jus’ an old, dirty redneck and I don't... I went out so ya could have some time ta’ get over this. Ta’ not want me close anymore.”

“What are you saying, you idiot.” You stutter, playing back everything he said. “You can't decide what I should or shouldn't want! You have to decide what you want and I'll decide what I want and if these two things come together, then we work from there.” You move a little, the sting on your leg making you uncomfortable. Taking a deep breath, you finally regain some control of yourself, but the tears just keep coming. “I just need to know i-if you don't want... If you don't want me. Me touching you, or hugging you because if that's what you want, it's ok, I'll... I'll stay away.” It hurts to tell him this, and you're terrified of what he'll say next. If that's what he wants... What are you going to do?

“I shouldn't–”

“This is not about what you should, it's about what you want!” You burst out, tired of the argument. You just need to know what is and what isn't, so you can decide what to do next. “You were gone for two goddamn weeks, killing walkers and being in constant danger so just tell me what you want.”

“I want ya.” It comes out like a grunt, too fast and low, and it makes you wonder if you got it right. Daryl looks down, his shaggy hair hiding his eyes. You don't understand why he's so... Scared. Why he thinks so low of himself when you can only see the good, the great man he is. The very best.

“T-then don't push me away. Just... Just stay.” Lowering you're voice until it's barely a whisper, you dry some tears away. “I-I mean, I know that going out there it's your thing, I didn't mean it as you gotta stay here, I just mean it like... With me, you know? Go on runs, but stay with me. D-don't leave me. Well, do leave if that's what you want but not because you think I shouldn't be around you.” It sounds confusing, and you hope he gets it because you don't think you can explain it better.

“M’ sorry.” He mumbles, and this time, when he sits beside you on the step, you allow yourself to hug him, too desperately, feeling more tears coming. “ ‘S alright, babygirl. M’ sorry.”

Without saying anything, you surrender into his embrace, thankful for having him back after so long. Not even the noise coming from the front door makes you pull away.

“I see you two got along,” Carol says, sounding relieved. “You should just be straight forward with each other. It'll save both of you a lot of trouble.” When you hear her coming closer, you raise your head just a little bit to look at her. “(Y/N), why don't you let me help you with showering. There's still sand on your hair. Then you and Daryl can lie down to rest.”

You don't want to let go of him yet, but Carol is right. “Sand?”

“I was with the kids on that playground and little Mike threw a handful of sand at Judith but he hit me instead.” You explain it, using the wall to help you up. But Daryl is quick to assist you.

“So yer takin’ care of the kids? And outside?”

“Well, Carol was with me the whole time and it was only half an hour or so.” You let him carry you upstairs, not saying anything about it. Walking is a lot easier now, but you appreciate the gesture. “But I'm like the babysitter now. I really like it.”

“Bet ya do. I heard ya singing for Lil’ Ass Kicker.”

Your cheeks start burning. You had no idea he was listening. “Yeah...” Daryl leaves you in the bathroom and Carol comes soon after.

Showering is less painful now since you can manage to stand up long enough to clean yourself. But washing your hair is still a challenge, and that's why Carol is here. As she washes the sand away, she tells you of her daughter Sofia. About how she got lost and how Daryl restlessly searched for her. And the sad ending of that story. Everyone at the end of the world has a sad story to tell.

Once you're free of the sand and dry, you put your clothes on. You can't find any of your lycra shorts, so you stick with the tank top and panties before going to bed. It's very cold tonight, so you grab another blanket before lying down. You're just about to wonder if Daryl will come when he opens the door, and a smile immediately spreads through your lips.

“Hi.” Trying not to sound too excited, you mutter. It's hard to keep your eyes open, sleep threatening to overcome you.

Daryl grunts something you don't understand, taking off his jacket and leaving it on the dresser. You already moved to the side, giving him space. He pulls the blankets away before lying down, and you giggle to see how he tries not to move the mattress too much. Once he's settled down, you turn on your side, facing away from him, getting comfortable. You wait for him to do the same, but he doesn't move. By the time you had him sleeping here, you know he sleeps on his side. Not like this, staring at the ceiling.

“Are you comfortable?” You ask, eyes already closed.

“Yeah.”

“Uhm...” Turning around just a little bit, you grab Daryl's arm, pulling it until he's on his side, letting his hand fall on your waist.

“The hell ya doin’?” He mutters.

“Just letting you I want you to hug me. So if you want it too... You can.”

Daryl stays motionless for a while until you feel as he fixes his position. You're glad he won't see your smile, the happiness spreading through your face. Getting the hint, you carefully push yourself back a little, closer to him. His hand brushes on your thigh, and he abruptly moves it away, startling you. Your heart sinks a little, wondering if he'll fall back into whatever he was before.

“What?” Your voice is weak, making it clear you're scared.

“What are ya wearing?”

Oh. You didn't think it would be an issue. “Underwear.” You whisper, shrugging your shoulders. “All my shorts are dirty so I didn't have anything else.”

“Ya shouldn't be dressed like that when ya have a man on yer bed.” The words come out too fast and a little confusing.

“Daryl, I feel completely fine being here with you. Even though I'm in panties.” Being honest, you decide to let your heart out. This will be easier if you just say things straight forward, as Carol said you should. “And...” Searching for his hand under the blankets, you slowly bring it to the top of your thigh. The sensation of his fingers on your skin is warm, despite his fingertips still being cold. “I want you to know that you can touch me. I don't mind.” You whisper, eyes closing to take in the feeling of his touch a little better. “Actually, you're... You're the only man I'll ever want to touch me.” Maybe it's the sleep, pushing these words out. Maybe it's the long time you had Daryl away, thinking he was done with you. You don't know. The words came out and there's no way to take them back. And you don't want to. It's the truth.

He doesn't say anything, he doesn't move. Not for a while. You're about to ask him to say something, anything, when you feel his hand moving. Slowly, very slowly, his thumb starts caressing your skin. It burns in a good way. His hand then slides down, gently, from the top of your thigh to your knee. You feel like he's testing it, not sure why. Maybe he thinks you'll just give up the idea, be suddenly disgusted by his touch. But that's so far from the truth.

“That's nice.” You decide to say, giving voice to what you're feeling, so he'll know.

“Huh.” He sounds like he doesn't believe you.

“It is.” To reassure him, you move even closer, until your back is pressed against his chest. “Believe me.”

“Alright then.” He removes his hand, but it comes to embrace your waist, his grip firm around you, holding you close to his body. “Go to sleep now, babygirl.”

“Good night, D.”

×

@funeral-7 @heyyy-hey-babyyy @twdeadfanfic @soraitmnt @winchester-angel @bvbwestfall @shawtygonemad @cameronsails @pulplorrd @browneyes528

#daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon imagine #imagine daryl dixon #daryl dixon #imagine the walking dead #the walking dead imagine #the walking dead fanfiction

[scorpionyx9621]

I Hope Hopeless Changes Over Time: A Red Hood and Batman Fic

*Source of the image I found off of Pintrest. I tried to find the original artist but the link on Pintrest led to a dead Tumblr account. If anyone wants to find/point out the account to me so I can give proper credit to the artist please please do.*

I wanted to make a fic based on an ask I did from the lovely @dilfbatman about Jason and Bruce. I hope people enjoy this mini-fic that I've expanded upon.

TW: Blood, Physical Assault, Suicide Ideation, Swearing. Bruce being a shitty father but trying. Jason having demons 

3.75K words. 

Bruce was uneasy about Jason staying over at the Wayne Mansion. Even with other members of the family around. Jason has done so much wrong and has hurt so many people. However, at the end of the day, Jason still is his son. So when he gets a call from Jason in a hushed voice asking Bruce to stay the night. He hesitated for a second, but acquiesced, Jason was nothing if not independent, so to be asking Bruce outright to stay at the Wayne Manor meant something was wrong.

"Master Jason wouldn't reach out to any of us unless something was gravely wrong, Master Wayne." Alfred had reassured Bruce, who was staring absentmindedly at the glass case which housed Jason's old Robin costume. The costume that Jason had died in. Bruce always tried to repress the memory of holding his son's cold, lifeless body. The pain he felt from losing his parents burned in his heart as an everlasting stab wound. But the pain from losing Jason, his son, it was too much to bare.

"I'd be welcoming to Master Jason, but keep your distance. Master Damian is spending the night at Jon Kent's house, Master Richard is in Blüdhaven, and Master Timothy is with the Teen Titans tonight. I'll rest assured Jason doesn't try anything to harm you. But don't try to encourage a confrontation." Alfred explained. He always seemed to understand Jason to a tee after he came back to life.

"I don't know how you do it Alfred, you can read the boy like a book." Bruce had retorted. Cocking a half-smile to the man who raised him since his parents died.

"Master Wayne, Master Jason wears his heart on his sleeve. He always has. And one of the reasons why you two fight constantly is because, for as terrific as a detective you are, you are horrifically inept in reading the emotions of your children." Alfred had stated, those words bit Bruce. He wasn't expecting such sharp words from Alfred. "We failed Master Jason. And he's hurt, he's been hurt for years because of it. However he keeps choosing to come back and try and trust again. We needn't come at him with accusations of ulterior motives, but we should be supportive." Alfred stated.

"But cognizant of what Jason is capable of." Bruce added back. Jason may need help, but he's still dangerous. He has tried to kill Bruce and the rest of the Robins multiple times. He wants to trust Jason and warm up to him again. But the man who wears the Red Hood and stalks the streets of Gotham killing those he deems criminals is not his son anymore.

Alfred and Bruce greeted Jason as he walked in the large double doors of the Wayne Manor. The first thing Bruce noticed was the dark circles under Jason's eyes. It seemed as if the man hadn't slept in days. Jason was wearing sweatpants and a fitted black wife beater, accentuating his muscles. Jason would have looked more intimidating had his body language not suggested he was as disheveled as he was, physically and mentally.

"Thanks Alfred." Jason had said meekly towards the butler. He took one step into the mansion and looked at Bruce. Bruce noticed as soon as Jason's eyes met his, his tired irises contorted into anger. His lips pursed downwards but Jason chose not to say anything. Instead just walking past Bruce pretending not to acknowledge him.

"Master Jason, you will be staying in the guest suite on the main floor. I've already prepped everything for your arrival. Please make yourself at home." Alfred had said. Jason just shook is head as he headed towards the hallway leading the guest suite. Bruce didn't notice it immediately but the stench Jason had emitted stung in the air. It smelled like stale liqour and body oder. It seems Jason hadn't bathed in days. Bruce had wanted to say something but chose not to.

The evening went by quietly enough. Jason had taken a shower and changed into another fitted wife beater but still sported a tired energy about him. Alfred had put together a beef pot roast for dinner with red potatoes, carrots, onions, and celery over garlic mashed potatoes. A favorite dish of Jason's. The three of them ate quietly as Bruce continued to size up his son. He was conflicted. At one point he saw the man who blew up the head of a Gotham security force member with a torture decide he had created. On the other hand, he saw the boy who would beg for Bruce to buy him more books after he finished the maximum amount a library card would allow for a week in the span of 3 days. The son who told him being Robin gave him magic.

The dinner ended as it began. With awkward silence and the father-son duo eyeing each other. One with cautious trepidation and the other with abject hate. Bruce had decided not to go on patrol tonight as he felt he needed to be at the manor should anything happen while Jason was here. An uneasy sense of dread built over Bruce as he had said good night to Jason as the two passed by each other in the halls. Jason simply spat 'Bitch' at Bruce and walked into the bedroom. Bruce had been bad with other people's emotions, but something didn't sit right with the way Jason was carrying himself. He had decided to stay up tonight regardless. A sense came over him after being sworn at by Jason. A sense he hadn't felt in a long time. He felt as though his son needed help.

————————————————————

"You're a monster"

"Jason is a murderer"

"Stay away from Jason, he'll kill you."

"No one wants you around, Todd"

"You're just a good guy trying to be bad"

"This is the kid you had to replace me with as Robin? Bruce he's pathetic."

"I can't believe my daughter wasted the Lazarus Pit on a miserable failure like you."

"Maybe I'd be better off dead"

Jason tossed and turned. It's been days. He couldn't get the voices out of his head. Those whispery, moany voices that taunted and tormented him. He knew it was a result of the Lazarus Pit. Ever since Roy died and everyone left him the voices started taunting him again. He tried everything he could to get the voices to stop. He drank, he read, he worked out, he did everything he could. The only way the voices became quiet were when he was beating the ever-loving shit out of some criminals. This was not the mindset Jason had wanted. He wanted to go back to being supported by Bruce, the man who betrayed him. He knew that Bruce was weak. He couldn’t kill the Joker because of his weakness. 

Jason got up and walked over to the connecting bathroom to the suite that he was staying in. He went to the sink and splashed some cold water on his face. Against his better judgement, Jason looked up to the figure he saw in the mirror. He took note of his jawline, his face, his green eyes, his muscles.. but one thing that caught his eye was the fucking skunk streak of hair at the top of his head. The physical reminder of his dip in the Lazarus Pit. He had just re-dyed the spot not two days ago and it already came back. He did everything he could to try to hide the streak. It’s what he hated most about his new body. The pit wiped away all of the scars he had on his body. And any new fresh scar or wound would just fade in a matter of moments due to the effects of the pit. The only thing that ever stayed was that damned streak. 

Jason had nothing but disgust and contempt for the man he saw in the mirror, which, ironically, was himself. 

“You’re just using the sarcasm to hide your hatred.” 

“It’s your fault that everyone hates you.” 

“Killing the sick of the masses to save those who are weak is your calling” 

“Those reptiles deserve to die” 

“I don’t want to kill unless I don’t have to.. I don’t want people to hate me..” Jason tried reassuring himself. The voices in his head kept getting louder and louder. “I want Bruce and everyone to love me again....” He continued to try to re-assure himself. It was a false sense of hope as always. His mind soon wandered to a moment where he was on top of Dick in a fight. Confronting his older sibling and reciting a quote he had heard from a Japanese philosopher and optimist as he had the barrel of a gun placed against his older brother’s temple. 

“Do you know what the most convenient phrase in the world is, Dickie? It’s ‘I’m sorry.’ Anyone who hears that is obligated to forgive, no matter how hurt or angry they might be... There's no more disgusting phrase in all the world. It's used to displace your suffering unto others so you can escape your sins... The moment you employ it, your suffering becomes the other person's. A thing can be unforgivable, but oh, if they apologize... I say there's no reason to accept that suffering. You don't have to forgive them. Cast aside the mask of your conscience.“ 

“Stop this. Please stop this.” Jason had begged aimlessly into the air. He didn’t want to live like this anymore. He didn’t want to live, period. He just wanted all of this to end. He had caused so much pain and so much suffering to the people of Gotham all so he could attempt to hurt Bruce. But those words kept repeating in his head. He knew he had to stop this. He needed help, he wanted to go to Bruce and explain what was going on but Bruce would just have him institutionalized. His murderer of a son starts hearing voices in his head? A one way ticket to a padded room. 

Jason suddenly stared back into the mirror and saw something he detested. The green eyes that stared into his soul. The one he hated more than anything else. Was himself. This thing was staring him in the face mocking him, and he wanted it gone. 

“Do it Jason.” the voice had beckoned from the mirror. “Kill them all. Slit Damian’s throat and watch the fucker bleed. Bash Tim’s stupid face into the concrete until there’s nothing but mush. Rip Dick limb from fucking limb. Watch Bruce as you choke the last bit of life from his eyes. I promise all the pain will go away once all of this is done.” the voice sounded almost sweet as it promised to do all of this. Jason just retched as he saw the green eyed monster promising poison to him. He felt his vision fade to black. 

------------------------------------------------------------------

STOP IT. SHUT. UP. 

*CRASH* 

Bruce had jumped up from the chair he was sitting on in the library, the voice came from the suite that Jason was staying in. Bruce didn’t have time to think. He just ran towards the noise. He threw the door to the suite open and ran to the bathroom. There he saw Jason in front of a heavily cracked mirror. Jason was hyperventilating and he saw blood oozing from Jason’s fist which was pressed against the mirror. Bruce saw from the reflection that Jason had split open the left side of his lip seemingly from a shard of glass. It wasn’t long before Jason glanced up at the imposing shadow in the mirror and noticed Bruce’s presence. 

“YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME BRUCE.” Jason had shouted at his reflection. Jason was shaking. Bruce had wanted to assess the injury that Jason gave himself. But he knew he was cornering a scared animal if he pressed any farther forward. Bruce stood their frozen. Pondering between trying to press forward upon a killer, or to check up on his son. 

“Jason, I just...” Bruce was cut off by another scream as Jason turned around. 

“IF YOU COME ANY CLOSER I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL YOU WHERE YOU FUCKING STAND YOU PIECE OF SHIT.” Bruce finally got the cue. The hitch in Jason’s voice. This is the same hitch his voice made when he was a kid and was angry at Bruce. Alfred was right. This is his son. And right now Bruce needed not to be the Batman approaching the Red Hood. He needed to be Bruce, to help his son. 

Bruce walked forward to Jason, still shaking as blood oozed from the gashes of glass on his fist. Bruce decided against everything in his gut telling him to stop this criminal. This monster who killed for sport and to prove a point. He needed to help Jason, his son. 

Bruce was knocked back by a fist to his chest. Glass imbedded itself into Bruce as he felt the sting of their shards. Jason was right, he was going to hurt Bruce if he approached. Oracle was right, Jason had been abusing venom. The quick gain in muscle mass was proof enough but the stinging pain in Bruce’s chest also proved that hypothesis. Jason barred his teeth as his eyes displayed a seething hatred. Bruce would have been frightened on any other day. Today, Bruce felt a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time. Bruce collected himself and got up to approach Jason again. 

“I TOLD YOU I’M GOING TO KILL YOU BRUCE. I FUCKING HATE YOUR GUTS. I WANT YOU TO DIE. I WANT ALL OF US TO JUST FUCKING DIE.” Jason screamed even louder this time. A hot stream of tears worked their way down Jason’s cheeks. Bruce no longer saw a rage-induced monster but the boy who took a tire iron to his gut on the streets of Gotham. The boy who would was thrilled at every opportunity he got to show Bruce the A’s on every test he got in school. This was his baby boy who needed his help. 

“Jason Peter Todd that’s enough.” Bruce said firmly, but not harshly. Jason stared directly into his eyes. “Jason. I want you to listen to me.” 

“Go to hell you motherfucker.” those words which escaped Jason were laced with poison. Bruce didn’t waver. 

“You can punch me as much as you want Jason and I’ll deserve all of it.” Bruce came closer to Jason. Jason proceeded to physically make himself smaller. Like a scared animal. Bruce remember what he did to Jason after he had seemingly killed The Penguin. How he beat Jason to within an inch of his life. His heart plummeted to his stomach as he saw Jason cower like a scared dog over his approach. 

“What are you going to do Bruce, beat me to a fucking pulp again? You hate me more than you hate the fucking Joker, don’t you?” Jason asked. Bruce truly saw the fear in those green eyes. He had to take a moment and realized just what he was doing. He unclenched his jaw and relaxed his shoulders as he approached Jason. This time he was back within striking range of his son. 

“Jason. I failed you. I have been failing you for the past 10 years since your death. I have failed this city and this family in providing the protection it needs. I couldn’t kill The Joker because I’m weak.” Bruce sucked at emotions and emoting. But Bruce hadn’t felt this shaky and wavering since the day he lost Jason. His son needed to know the truth. He deserved to know the truth. “Jason I never hated you. I hated the actions you have taken against the people of this city. But I’ve come to realize that the hatred and contempt I’ve held is because you do what I can’t do.” 

“Oh so now you’re coming over to apologize? I don’t owe you shit after what you’ve done to me.” Jason had stated. He may have been acting like a pinned animal. But his mouth will never not cut like knives. 

“Jason, when we had fought in the abandoned apartment. And you had the Joker with you. You had tried to shoot me after I had turned away from you.” Bruce said. Inching ever closer to Jason while trying not to be imposing. “In that moment, I threw the batarang because I knew you were going to retaliate against me. But I need you to know in that moment I turned away. I turned away because I decided I wasn’t to be the one to decide the Joker’s fate. He had taken your life and it wasn’t up to me to decide. I want nothing more than for the Joker to pay for the countless lives hes taken and ruined.” Bruce swallowed hard as he felt tears beginning to well in his eyes. “I failed you because I couldn’t kill the Joker. But in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to have my baby boy back. I wanted you back in my life. I still want you back in my life.” 

“Bullshit. Fucking BULLSHIT.” Jason spat at Bruce. The emotions were flooding out of his face. Anger, hatred, fear, but most of all sadness. Jason’s voice began wavering as he began to cry. “If you loved me why in the fuck have you never realized I’ve been trying to help the people of Gotham. Instead every time I take matters into my own hands all I meet are your fucking fists. I hate your guts Bruce. We’d all just be better off fucking dead. It’s all Hopeless. I’m hopeless.” 

Bruce took a deep breath. He tried to find his resolve. He wanted nothing more than to be able to reach out to his son again. “You’re absolutely right Jason. I’ll bet Gotham would be a whole lot better without me. Without the pain I have caused. And no amount of apologies will fix the pain that I have caused you. No words will ever take back the transgressions I have taken against you.” Bruce was crying this time. “But know this. You always have been my son. And I love you so much. The day I lost my parents was agony. The day I lost you, I felt like I had lost myself I felt I had died a bit inside.” Bruce choked out. “We both have done so much we regret. If I could take back all the times I hit you I would do it in a heartbeat. But no amount of sorry will take back that pain. I shouldn’t be in the position to be asking this. But I just want my son back.” Bruce swallowed. “You have every right to hate me, but I will never stop loving you. You aren’t hopeless and you never have been. You never have been a burden. You are valued by so many people. I. I love you my son. I love you Jason."

Jason’s face relaxed from a position of contempt and hatred and soon was overcome with years of pent up tears. Jason let out a hearty scream as he proceeded to weep and sob. As if a dam had broke and was threatening to engulf a town in an apocalypse. Bruce went against everything he had known and was screaming from the inside of his body and wrapped Jason in a hug. He was almost as large as Bruce himself and barely fit around his arms. But Bruce held his son and hugged him tight. Jason was crying uncontrollably. 

“I’m hearing these voices. They’re telling me I’m a monster and a killer and that I should kill all of you.” Jason shouted between sobs. “But I don’t want to. I’m so afraid Bruce. I don’t want to hurt anyone unless I have to.” 

“Just breath Jason. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Let it all out.” Bruce had solidified his resolve and worked on being there for Jason. He couldn’t run away this time. His son needed him more than ever. And Gotham be damned. He’s not making this mistake twice. He’s staying here. For Jason. 

It felt like hours before Jason had run out of tears and sobs. Jason was fading and seemed like he was about to fall asleep. The shards of glass that were imbedded in his hand seemingly prevented Jason from bleeding out. Bruce had saw Jason’s eyes glaze over as his breathing calmed. 

“Jason, I’m going to pick you up and take you to bed.” Bruce had said, asking for permission from his second son. Jason simply nodded as he starred off. He was numb now. The pain seemingly gone for the moment. Bruce lifted Jason up and was taken aback by just how heavy his son was. He truly was 225lbs just like his records showed. This wasn’t the son who hid under the cabinets when Bruce first brought Jason home. But Bruce still saw the boy as his son nonetheless. As Bruce laid Jason on the bed Alfred had approached with a first aid kit. Proceeding to begin to clean up Jason’s hand. Jason was so exhausted he barely felt any of the picking and pulling or the iodine going into his wounds. He kept his eyes fast forward on Bruce. 

“Bruce. I. I’m sorry.” Jason had said meekly. 

“Don’t apologize Jason.” Bruce had stated. He ran his hand through Jason’s hair, giving a soft massage to his scalp. “You get some sleep now. I don’t think you’ve rested in days.” 

Bruce had remembered the time he had read Jason to sleep. This time he had thought back to a poem that struck him from his phone. It was from a famous lyricist and singer. As Bruce pulled up his phone he had found the poem and recited it as Jason fell asleep. Things are far from perfect or even better. But tomorrow was going to be the first day of the rest of his and Jason’s lives. 

“They told me once, ‘there's a place where love conquers all’

A city with the streets full of milk and honey

I haven't found it yet, but I'm still searching

All I know is a hopeless place that flows with the blood of my kin

Perhaps hopeless isn't a place

Nothing but a state of mind” 

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pHEW GOD THAT WAS LONG. I hope you all enjoyed the fic! This was my first published attempt at angst and whump and while I feel some parts are cringe. I am proud of what I made. 

Big thanks again to @dilfbatman for inspiring this fic. The inspiration of the title is the song Hopeless: by Halsey. The quote about I’m Sorry is from the character Shadow Maya Amano from Persona 2: Innocent Sin. And the poem at the end is the first part of the lyrics to the song Good Mourning by Halsey. 

#Jason Todd #Red Hood #Bruce Wayne #Batman #Whump #Angst #Hurt/comfort #Non-ship #Bruce being a good father #Jason trying his best #Jason getting the rest he deserves #The two have gone through so much but they can get help #TW Blood #TW Physical abuse #TW Swearing