#you sent me with the pee cake

[sharpth1ng]

May I offer these shirts and this cake as Stu's gifts to billy

Yes you may!

100% on that prettiest girl in the morgue shirt oh lord

Them out, Stu sees that, like “you should buy that for me.”

Billy: “? Buy it yourself?”

Stu: “no I want you to tell me I’m the prettiest girl in the morgue.”

Also:

PEE.

Billy like: “ …if this is an attempt to introduce something new to our sex life then no. The only fluids I work in are sweat, blood, spit, and cum.”

Stu: *dies of laughter*

#you sent me with the pee cake #he really would #stuilly #ask

[highvern]

Lucky Me

Pairing: Kim Mingyu x fem reader

Genre: idiots in love, fluff, established relationship

Warnings: sickening sweet tooth rotting fluff, kissing, tears, brief mention of illness, in this lore Seungchoel is a married man and off the proverbial streets

Length: ~1.4k

Note: Drunk Goggles couple's first L-word! post Discovery by like a few weeks lmao. I'm actually crying in the club bc Mingyu is my ENXJ kindred spirit so i wrote this in the most self serving way possible lol

read more here

“Can’t believe you’re not picking up your phone right now. Really selfish of you. What if I was dying in the street and you didn’t know because you ignored my call? What then, huh? Your poor boyfriend just wants to talk to you but I guess you hate me now.”

You chuckle at the sound of your Mingyu’s scolding. Always one for dramatics, that one. Toweling off your hair, you move to tidy the discarded packaging from the decorations you spent hanging all afternoon. Mingyu’s voicemail plays through the speaker of your phone on the counter as you work to clean up before people start arriving.

“Anyways! I picked up the cake for the party tonight, and some more snacks and beer just in case. The lady at the bakery said the cake took her all morning because the picture I sent of Jihyo kept making her laugh. Hate to say it but I think you have some competition. I can already see us getting married and being her sugar baby.”

Everytime an old lady even compliments Mingyu he tells you to watch your back because they want to steal him from you. Your eyes roll at his comments but they humor you nonetheless.

“She’s nowhere near as pretty as you though, so she's gonna need to step up her game. Alright, I’m gonna stop at my place to shower and grab some clothes and then I’ll head your way. Text me if I need to get anything else on my way, okay? Love you, bye!”

You freeze, plastic bags and towel dropping to the floor with a wet thud. 

“Shit.” 

You hear his faint curse through the speaker as the voicemail ends. 

Heart squeezing as you replay his words over and over, you plop down on your butt to the hard wooden floor. Love you, bye! Love you, love you, love…

He loves me.

Oh boy.

The new information is magical, twisting your insides in knots as you think of all the times you’ve wanted to say those very words you’ve buried in your chest over and over. The times he makes you laugh so hard you think you might pee your pants, his own giggles pulling him to the ground; when he cleaned out space in his dresser for your stuff, buying duplicates of your toiletries so you could come over whenever you wanted and feel at home; when your car broke down on the side of the road and he came to pick you up, racing across town in the dark of night to get you; when Wonwoo told you he’d never seen Mingyu so happy since you’d started dating; the time he cried when Seungcheol recited his vows to his now wife; how he always pulls a extra mug out of the cabinet when he makes his morning coffee, leaving it next to the machine with a sweet note for when you get up.

I love him.

Oh boy, indeed.

Standing, you grab your phone from the counter. Mingyu called almost an hour ago meaning he will be at your apartment any second. You use the few minutes you have left to calm your breathing, praying your hands stop shaking and the blush you feel dissipates as you open the freezer and pludge your face into the cold air.

A clunky knock at the door startles you. Sprinting to unlock it, you nearly fly face first into the door knob in your haste. 

On the other side is your boyfriend, thick waves of stress palpable as they roll off his body. Mingyu’s hands are full with groceries so you snag the cake, planting a quick kiss on his chin in greeting.

“Hi,” he mumbles, fear evident on his face.

“Hi!” You beam, dazzling smile thrown over your shoulder as you walk back toward the kitchen.

“Ugh, did you get my message?” 

Mingyu pauses to kick off his shoes by the door, nervousness firing through every fiber of his being. He meant what he said on the phone, but you've only been dating for a few months and he doesn’t want to mess anything up by being over eager. Correction: he can’t mess this up; he’s certain the heartbreak would kill him.

Mingyu prides himself on all the times he’s reigned in those three little words from slipping past his lips. Whenever he’s drunk and sees you smile, whenever he’s sober and sees you smile; when you cried about your shitty boss; when he cried at Seungcheol’s wedding, imagination running rampent; every morning when he wakes up next to you and every night before falling asleep in the same place; when you took care of him when he had the flu a few weeks ago; the first time he saw the new toothbrush you bought him to keep at your place, sitting in the cup on bathroom sink right next to yours. The list is endless. 

He can’t help that he’s built to love so deeply; his friends, his family, all of the important people in his life have their own space carved in his heart including you. Even before you started dating he cared for you. Your name has been branded in his chest since day one and inferno has only grown as his fondness expands with each moment.

“Yeah, I did. Sorry I missed your call, I was in the shower.”

“It's okay! I just know you like to be kept updated.”

After placing Jihyo’s birthday cake safely in the fridge, you turn to face your boyfriend. He looks like he might actually throw up, hands shaking as he unpacks the bags he’s brought in and eyes refusing to look in your direction. You can tell Mingyu is watching you out of his peripheral, waiting for you to comment on his confession with bated breath.

You stride around the kitchen island to stand next to him, helping sort the different treats he bought in silence. The juxtaposition between you two is almost laughable. You’re all shy smiles and flushed cheeks, unable to control the wild thump of your heart; while Mingyu looks like he might sprint out the door and into traffic at the drop of a hat.

Once all the bags are discarded, food lining the counter to be prepped, you turn to rest your back against the edge of the cool marble, your soft gaze focuses on his face. Arms crossing in front of you, you watch as he pretends to be busy to avoid meeting your eyes.

“I love you too.” You confess shyly, sides of your mouth quirking upwards.

Mingyu’s head shoots up so fast you’re afraid he might give himself whiplash. All you can do is smile demurely, embarrassed by the way he stares at you with wide eyes and an open mouth.

“Really?”

Biting your lip to control the grin attempting to split your face in half, you nod gently.

Next thing you know you’re consumed in a tight embrace, squashed into his chest as he squeezes you so hard you might explode. The smell of his cologne and laundry detergent waft of his shirt, soothing your own nerves as you relax in his hold. You can hear his heart racing in his chest, thundering below your ear; your own echoing in response.

“Say it again.” Mingyu sighs into your hair.

You can’t help but laugh.

“I love you.”

“Oh my god.” He gasps.

“Say it back.” you pout, chin digging into his pec as you peer up at him.

For a second, all Mingyu can do is stare at you, face soft with emotion, eyes cataloging your features. In his wildest dreams, he never thought he’d be fortunate enough to feel this way about another person. How lucky is he that the person he loves loves him too?

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” He says, hands moving to cup your face as he emphasizes a different word with each repetition, tip of his nose rubbing against the side of your own.

“Baby, are you crying?”

“I can’t help it! I love you! And you love me!” He wails, pushing his face into your cheek. “I think I’m gonna faint.”

“Aww, Gyu!” You coo, turning your head to kiss away his tears as they fall.

Mingyu catches your lips with his, needing to show you how much he cares for you rather than just tell you. 

But one more time doesn’t hurt.

“I love you.”

#svt x reader #kim mingyu x reader #mingyu smut #svthub #kim mingyu #seventeen smut #kim mingyu smut #🫡 highvern #svt #dghe couple #svt smut #svt fluff #mingyu fluff #kim mingyu fluff

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for calling animal rescue/welfare on my mom who loves her pets?

My mom has 2 cats and 1 dog. I want to start off by saying that she doesn't physically abuse her animals.

They're in a weird state of being really emotionally spoiled and completely physically neglected. The dog sleeps in bed with her and is always on the sofa, doesn't get told off when he pees and poops in the house, and the cats are always getting cuddles. The cats are getting kinda fat because they're fed a lot.

My mom is an alcoholic and she doesn't look after herself or her home at all. It's been years since she showered or bathed, she goes weeks without changing her clothes except for when she works, her house is genuinely falling completely apart. Cupboard doors are falling off at the hinges and propped up with buckets, doors don't close, carpets are coming up off the floor, wallpaper is peeling, the shower door fell off and shattered, the toilet lid is cracked in half, the floors are too dirty to step on without shoes, the entire house STINKS of animal urine and there are stains everywhere. A couple of years back she had an insect infestation in one of the bedrooms.

Now, my mom loves her pets and really emotionally relies on them. Ever since I moved out she's been alone and has regressed even worse because when she's at home she has nothing to do but drink and watch TV. The pets are her only company most days.

However, her bad hygiene and home care translates to them. It has been YEARS since the dog was walked, and months since he even got a cursory trip over the road to the small grass area outside her house. His fur is always matted, and he recently had fleas (god knows how when he doesn't leave the house but there you go). He has bald patches of fur missing. He pees and poops all over the floors and carpets because he just doesn't get let outside to do it enough - and he runs away or hides when you find it so he 100% knows he's not supposed to, he just doesn't have a choice because he's not able to go into the garden. His claws are always so long they're bothering him when he walks, and as gross as it is to describe there have been COUNTLESS times I've visited and he's had literal shit caked onto his fur around his tail because he's had diarrhea and when I've pointed it out that he needs to be washed my mom brushes it off with "It's only a little bit" and continues to let him onto the bed/couch.

The cats are mildly better off because they can clean themselves, but their litter trays are always OVERFLOWING - like, genuinely, mountains of cat poop piling up in the trays to the point where they're going on the floor because they don't have room in the tray - and one of them is sleeping in a bed that is Caked in vomit stains, clumps of hair, other miscellaneous marks, all of that.

I've called someone about it before when I still lived there, and a woman did stop by to check it out and told my mom that the cat litters were unacceptable, but my mom just lies to them. According to her the dog gets walked twice a day without fail, gets a ton of enrichment, everything, and you can't really prove her to be lying. The woman told her she'd drop by in a week to check on the litters, my mom kept them clean until she came back and gave the okay, and then just went right back to neglecting them and nothing was done about it.

I have no idea what to do anymore but I want to call again and really impress upon them that they're not being cared for. I sent photos and video evidence last time along with an explanation, but it doesn't seem like it got me anywhere at all. I just don't know what else to do. I've brought up the idea of taking at least the dog with me to my new place (it's very nearby so she'd still be able to visit him and I'd be able to walk him up to her house), but she VEHEMENTLY objected and told me she'd never be able to let him go.

I'm not sure what it would do tbh, even disregarding that she'd probably just get a new pet I would be genuinely worried she'd lose all interest in life if they were taken away.

TL;DR Mom's alcoholism means she doesn't look after her pets and they're not being cared for at all, but taking them away would severely impact her mental health.

WIBTA for calling animal services on her again?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #unsanitary cw

[happypotato48]

List of Thai BL dramas i've watched with short opinions about them i guess :P

Thai BLs that i finished:

A Boss and a Babe. It's cute for what it is, i loved the gaming friendships and i'm a sucker for forcebook. 7/10 need more unhinged energy from book.

A Tale of Thousand Stars/Our Skyy 2 : Bad Buddy x A Tale Of Thousand stars. this show reminds me a lot of early to mid 2000s lakorns. it's a beautiful by the book love story, i appreciated that a bl got to take a spin on this kind of quiet thai story. 8/10 loved it but still too vanilla for my taste.

Bake Me Please. Guide Kantapon is the cutest man alive and CAKES! that it, that all i have for this show. 6/10 it's a show that exist.

Be My Favorite. damn fluke gawin is so pretty what was this show about again? :P i'm kidding, i actually really liked this show. i watched it when i had zero knowledge about bl industry, i was oblivious about krist's controversy and i find krist acting to be charming and think kawee is very relatable as a cringe fail human myself. 8.5/10 this show made me want to collected weird thingies.

Cherry Magic (Thailand). oh boy this show. it's was everything to me also the only show so far that i've written extensively on this site. here is my personal feeling about this show. 9.5/10 would kill for taynew.

Cooking Crush. what! the fuc$! look look, i just learned that both offgun are older than me. when i first saw the show i thought they were some rookie actors with how young they looks. watching cute bl is gonna be the death of me. anywho this show is supercute don't have a lot of thought about it though. 7.5/10 cutting half a point cause of no samsee x metha.

Cutie Pie/Naughty Babe. what a fuckin legend of a series. all the characters have zero braincells and somehow all the rich pretty boys are engaged to each other and by arranged marriages nonetheless. wtf is this fanfic version of thailand and where can i get hit by a truck and get isekai to it. 7.5/10 still haven't watch Cutie Pie 2 U, i hope it get dumber.

Enchanté. this show is so dummmb it should've go full camp reverse harem yaoi nonsense but it didn't and ended up being kinda boring. 6.5/10. meh, i'm still a sucker for forcebook.

Last Twilight. UGHHH!! i'm still so mad. this show was going to be THE SHOW for me then ep 11-12 happened i legit mentally check out halfway through ep 12 and i basically blocked the ending from my mind. this show came out at the right place and the right time for me, the first 9 episodes helped me through a very tough time in my life. the story of two people helping each other finding their way out of the dark was very compelling to me. ughh. 5.5/10 (9/10 for ep 1-9) P'Aof why are you like this!!

Laws Of Attraction. yassssssss this show slay(literally :P) the show is a breath of fresh air for me despite how very lakorn of it is. i'm glad that there is a bl that feel this soapy and campy cause like i do love my angsty and innocent school bls but the industry really need show like laws of attraction. jamfilm also were very great in their roles espically film, charn is the most babygirl corrupted cute evil lawyer of all time. 9/10 no note headempty only charn's evil smirks in my mind

La Pluie. now, this is a romance. this show is one of the most romanctic media that i personally have experience. i loved that the show took the cheesy premise of soulmates and work it so well to do both deconstruction and exploration of the trope. i think using rain, thing that isolated people as a narrative tool for love connection is absolutely brilliant. last but not least pat is just the perfect bl love interest, he's an very idealized character but he do feels like an actual person. i want to give a shout out to Pee Peerawich the way he said "มันหนาวอ่ะ" in ep 8 sent me, the raspy voice, the eye twich and combo those with a back cuddle, sir! you just commited a mass murders with that move. 9/10 plz i need season two with my baby boy tien.

Love in Translation. the unhingendness of that first meeting is probably my favorite bl meet cute. look if you don't get into a fistfight with the guy you destined to be with then what is the point of life. this show fake date is very well done it's doesn't feel forced like in a lot of other bls and it make the growing attraction feels very genuine and it pay off in one of the best sex scenes in all of bl, yang is such a freak and i loved him for it. 8/10 the last two episodes did got slightly off the rail for me but i still enjoyed the show.

Moonlight Chicken. one of the most beautiful shows i ever watched. when watching this show i can feels, smells and tastes everything it depicted. from the comfort khao man gai to jim's loneliness, from alan's heartbreak to liming and heart's midnight motorcycle ride. this show gave me all the feels and i still can't completely shake it off. 9.9/10 this show is a healing.

My School President. These boys!!!! i can't, i loved these boys so much, all the boys, YES ALL OF THEM! this show is on the opposite spectrum of Moonlight Chicken for me. while MC give me the good heartaches this show give me unbridled joy it's like heartstopper on cracks. i absolutely adored tinn and gun and the show relentless optimism about thier first love. love is awesome no matter the romantic, familial or platonic kind and i think this show hit the marks with all three. 10/10(i'm super bias but fuck it idc i even liked the singing) this show made me started watching thai bl and it always will have a place in my heart.

My Ride. this show is lacking in intimacy but making up by being all heart. could this show be better if they fleshed out and explore more of tawan and his cheating bf's relationship, maybe but i'm happy for what we got. 8/10 mork and tawan were very cutie patootie, i don't remember much about the het and the side couple were just st ok.

Step by Step. man trisanu is exactly the same height at me and i want everyone to know that is the only reason i started this show🤣 . i feels like this show have a lot to say about stuff but i kinda got lost staring at man trisanu while watching. one thing i really loved is the very fem *ตุ๊ด coworker who got to be a real character not just a jokey sidekick and having a loving relationship with a hottie. 7.5/10 can i get more man trisanu in bl plz.

Triage. asshole doctor stuck in a timeloop for him to find the meaning of life, yes plz give it to me. i loved stories about assholes who need to better themself for love and other junk. tinn and tol are both grumpy bitches and i just loved that the show use the timeloop to soften these nerds. at the end i just want to wrap them in blanket and let's them cuddle each other forever. 8.5/10 the last ep is bit convoluted but i forgave the show for that cute clocktower kiss.

You're My Sky. i started this show for my boy suar and he did not disappointed. the pining and the longing for an older boy who been there for you most you life, chef kiss. this show also very beautiful to look at. 8/10 i'm kinda meh about the side couples, i do think they all got the "good ending" for their stories.

Thai BLs that i didn't finish or gave up and skipped to the ending:

Bad Buddy. Oh boy, am i gonna get murder for this??? sorry but idk why i didn't wholeheartedly love and give this show my undivided attention. i watched this show very weird and out of order, i started with the last ep than just watch other episodes in bit and peice. i think i've seen 70% of this show. plz forgive me this is the first thai bl i tried to get into but can't. maybe i need to give this show another chance and watch it properly. or idk maybe cause the way i watched it, it's ruined for me forever. 6.5/10 i loved the rooftop kiss plz don't kill me.

Dangerous Romance. this show is trash and not the good kind, how this show depicted relationship between a rich asshole and a poor boy feels very gross to me. i fast forward a bunch and gave up after the not just dumb but very cruel breakup. 4/10 it's watchable if you ignore the plot and the chatacters.

Hidden Agenda. wow this is the most nothing show that ever nothing for me. it's a perfected white noise while playing chill video games. i stopped watching after ep 8 cause look like there going to be a dumb break up, i have no desire to revisit this show. 5/10 joongdunk were kinda cutes.

The Miracle of Teddy Bear. this show is too god damn long with too many side plots the one and a half hour per episode killed the momentum for me. i liked the show and do think i want to revisit and finish it one day. 6/10 for now.

Vice Versa. why are they giving jimmysea this show. this show is so boring for me, i gave up in episode 6. 4/10 gmmtv give my babies better shows!!

Thai BLs that i've watched all the sex scenes and have no intention of watching the actual show:

Kinnporsche: heheehehhehehe everyone were so hot, too bad i don't like rich mafia story. mile being a nepobaby also significantly killed the mood for me. 55555/dead bodyguards (idk how many there are but i don't care) the ost are bangers though.

Venus in the Sky and Love in the Air. cringe gay sex for the wins. 69/420.

ok, whoo that was a lot. gonna pin this cause i don't think anyone want to read all that in one sitting. i think i'm gonna make another post for non thai BLs in the near future. thanks for reading my unhinged opinions hope i'm not gonna get moider for it 55555555.

#thai bl #bl drama #bl meta #bl shows #dumb boy rambled #i think i got all of them #but idk maybe i'm missing one or two shows #i shouldn't written and posted this at 5 am after staying awake all night but fuck it

[sundove88]

Balan Wonderworld- Maestro Hiccups Incorrect Quotes; Fun, Fun, Fun

(HIC!)

Others:

Bal!

Balan:

I Know it is wet and the

Sun is not sunny, but

We can have lots of good

Fun that is funny! It's

Fun to have fun but ya

Got to know how...

Bleurgh! (Ugh...)

Side effects!

I know

Lots of good tricks, and I'll—

Others:

Stop! This! Right! Now!

Lance is talking!

Lance:

These hiccups should not be here, they should not be about!

They should not! Be here! When Wonderworld! Is out!

Eis:

Come on guys, we’ve gotta listen to him!

Bal’s drinking where he pees!

Balan:

There was this

Cat I knew back home where

I was bred, he never

Listened to a single thing his

Mother said! He never

Used the litter box, he made a

Mess in the halls, that's why they

Sent him to a vet to cut off

Both his ball—

Ba... ba...lls.

BOY! That wasn't

Fun, fun, fun!

He never learned you can have

Fun, fun, fun!

But less is more! They may

Ship you off to school, so rain it

In a little, we

Can't spell fun without you in the

Middle! (Bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-

Bah!)

Haoyu

Guys! Balan is currently in violation of 17 of Wonderworld’s rules!

Balan:

City Morgue!

Haoyu:

18!

Balan:

There was this

High-strung cat who thought she

Knew it all, the way she

Scheduled out her day could drive you

Up the wall! She liked to

Be the teacher's pet, always the

Head of the class, and took a

Ton of TNT to kill the

Bug up her a—

A... a...ss.

ASK! Me was she

Fun, fun, fun?

Not a chance, you can't have

Fun, fun, fun!

If you're uptight, so loosen

Up and lose those lists, life isn't

Such a riddle, you

Can't spell fun without YOU in the

Middle!

You can

Juggle, work and play, but you

Have to know the way! You can

Keep afloat a wish, like the

Way I do this fish! You can

Be a happy fella, someone

Throw me that umbrella! And that

Rake! That cake!

That's what you make it, so have

Fun, fun, fun!

Go insane and have some

Fun, fun, fun!

Just look at me!

Fun, fun, fun!

No more rain, look! It's a

Sun, sun, sun!

So can't you see? I'm as

Happy as a clam, I'm as

Fit as a fiddle! Yeah, the

Dogs may bark about you, and the

Pure-bred cats may doubt you, but re-

Member this, you can't have fun with-

Out you in the

Middle!

Inhabitants: 0-0

Leo: What the heck, Bal?!

#incorrect quotes #balan wonderworld #bww #maestro hiccups #Balan #Lance #balan wonderworld lance #Leo Craig #Emma Cole #jose gallard #fiona demetria #Yuri brand #haoyu chang #sana hudson #Cass Milligan #cal suresh #iben bia #attilio caccini #Lucy Wong #eis glover #Bruce stone #source: the cat in the hat

[scaryleo-scaryleo]

me and my partner have been making really dumb adult natalie headcannons and we’ve made a list of the good ones

goes out of her way to buy ring pops

will not eat cereal after she found out fruit loops are all the same flavor

ate pop rocks and got scared

has put a goldfish in her mouth before that scene

buys rainbow goldfish crackers but will not eat the green ones

hates hello kitty because she is 3 apples tall

doesn’t understand monopoly but she still plays it and gets absolutely furious

puts diesel instead of normal gas in her car very often

puts any teeth she finds under her pillow for the tooth fairy and gets pissed when they’re still there in the morning

thinks the mall easter bunny is real and gets so scared that she has to be escorted out of the mall

is not allowed in any aquarium in her state

she is the reason why toys r us closed down

hates pudding

tries to suck jello cups into her mouth and throws them against a wall when she chokes on it

she has 5 minute crafts blocked on literally every platform even though they blocked her first because she sent them death threats and called them mean names

goes all out on halloween to scare kids then steal their candy

when kids knock on her door she chases them

goes to the pool and wears arm floaters and screams at kids while trying not to drown and they splash her

loves boiled peanuts

coughs like an ipad kid

did not grow out of eating her boogers instead she just started doing it for fun in like her late 20s

sent taissa a video of her not voting for her

got rejected from a community college

accidentally posted an embarrassing picture of herself staring into the camera on twitter and now it’s a meme and when people tag her she starts screaming

has been banned from every social media platform like 4 times

does not know what a stanley cup is, one time misty bought her one and she thought that it meant misty made it and she was really confused

loves fireworks but is scared of the ones you throw

throws the popping fireworks at misty’s car and windows every year on the fourth of july one time it hit misty in the forehead and she had a giant welt on her head for weeks and natalie kept pressing it in

tried to eat one of said fireworks

loves the fourth of july like what really hyped about it but literally has no idea what the history of it is

gets caught sneaking into churches and eating all of the communion wafers

thinks the keebler elves are real

still looks for the leprechauns that destroyed her childhood classrooms at the end of rainbows and has gotten lost in a field doing so

gets mad when beets don’t turn her pee red because that’s the only reason she eats them she tries it at least once a month

got lost in a corn maze and she got so mad that she just started eating all of the corn

presses peoples bruises in then gets really offended and mad when they tell her to stop but also gets mad if they don’t react

saw the the spider-man movie and thought it was real so she kept picking up spiders and letting them bite her it got so bad that misty had to take her to the ER

thought jaws was real so she went on a boat and jumped off to kick a shark in the head

bought a grimace shake and got really mad that it didn’t end up like the tiktoks

like to chase her friends around with things she finds

makes tiassa a dirt cake when she won the election out of fucking mud and rocks then felt bad so she made misty make one out of pudding and oreos to give to her

when tiassa first started running she made fake merch out of rocks and sold it outside of tiassa’s house

#yellowjackets #natalie scatorccio #natalie yellowjackets #yellowjackets headcanons

[lokigayforhela]

could you do one where Hela is the one who's pregnant instead of reader, and she's going through a rough pregnancy so the reader takes care of her

I apologize for disappearing so long. I got OC brainrot and couldn't write anything other than an au in which my OC girlfriend for Hela is a Valkyrie sent to fight Hela and things Go Wrong. Anyway, I hope this beast of a cute fic makes up for my absence, as well as the knowledge that I also have another, smuttier fic to upload tomorrow, too. Enjoy~

Rating: G

TW: Rough pregnancy

WC: 2958

“Look at it this way, darling. You get to do what you love most. Lying in bed and sleeping as much as you want.”

Hela scowled and crossed her arms over her chest, but you knew her well enough by now to know that it was more a defensive act than Hela harboring any real anger.

“I don’t want to spend the next two months doing nothing but staying in bed and eating and peeing. It sounds boring,” Hela grumbled, and you reached over to lay your hand on her belly gently, knowing it would calm the both of you down a little more.

“…we’ll talk more about this when we get home, okay?” You could tell there was something that Hela wasn’t quite saying, and you knew the back of a cab was the least appropriate place to discuss it, so you decided to hold off on any further talk until you’d gotten back to your apartment.

You kept an arm around Hela as you guided her to your bathroom so that you could run her a bath, fully intending on pampering her, now that you knew she was both in a not-so-great mood and because you knew she deserved it, with the long seven months she’d been through already, and as the water ran, you let your mind wander back.

When you’d first found out that your attempts to get pregnant had worked, you’d both been over the moon. Hela was excited to carry your child, and you were excited to be doing it with her, and everything had been absolutely perfect.

But the honeymoon phase had worn off rather immediately. Hela had quickly become miserable with morning sickness that left her in the bathroom for the better part of an hour most mornings, she’d had all sorts of aches and pains that came with her body preparing itself to give birth, and to top it all off, she’d tried to remain as present as possible, as the CEO of her own company, which had added even more stress than either of them had planned for.

But the real icing on the cake had been today, when you’d gone in for Hela’s monthly check-up and had found out that she had high blood pressure and was recommended bed rest for the remainder of her pregnancy, which Hela had found less than ideal.

And all of that together, you mused, was causing Hela to have the standoffish reaction she was showcasing at the moment, and if you were being honest, you couldn’t blame her for it one bit.

“Come on… Out of these clothes and into the bath with you,” you cooed, going over to her so you could help her get out of her shoes without losing balance, and you were glad that Hela allowed the help. Even heavily pregnant, she had remained steadfast in her insistence that she was independent and didn’t need help.

Spoiling, on the other hand… That, she didn’t mind one bit, and you’d certainly been laying it on ever since you’d received the news.

You let Hela use your arm for support as she undressed herself and stepped into the tub, and when you turned around with the intention to bring a towel over for her, she caught your wrist.

“…join me?” Her voice had taken on a more vulnerable quality, and you knew that meant whatever it was that was bothering her, she was ready to talk about it, and so you nodded, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“Of course. I’m just getting towels, I’ll be right back.”

You made quick work of fetching said towels, as well as undressing yourself, and as soon as you stepped into the tub, Hela sat up so that you could sit behind her, and settled down as soon as you’d gotten yourself comfortable.

For a few long moments, you just held her, arms wrapped around her waist and hands gently splayed against her belly, smiling softly when you felt the baby give a little kick as they moved, and as you waited for Hela to speak, you pressed gentle kisses to her shoulders and back, loving on her softly.

“…I’m just so worried that everything that can go wrong is going wrong,” Hela murmured after a heavy silence.

You nodded, and pressed one last kiss to her shoulder before settling your chin there. “…I’d be lying if I said the thought hadn’t crossed my mind, too. And goodness knows, you’ve had it rough this whole time.” You paused, rubbing her belly gently as you thought. “But the doctor said everything else looks absolutely normal. You’re healthy… Little bean is healthy… This happens sometimes. It’s completely normal, with first-time mothers. The doctor said so herself. And the bedrest is just… a precaution. To make sure things don’t go really wrong.”

Hela said nothing, but you could tell she was stewing in what you’d just said, and so you kissed her cheek gently before continuing. “I know you’re worried, that you’ll get behind at work, and that you’ll miss a lot by not going in, but you know… That’s what Zoom calls are for… Though I do think you should take it easy, even with that. I know how… stressed you get even just talking about work sometimes, so… I don’t know, maybe one call a week, to check in on things. Everyone else there knows what they’re doing and what you want. They’ll manage just fine, and you know that.”

“…I do,” Hela admitted in a quiet voice, and you moved your hands away as she moved herself to recline more against you, and you shifted with her, making sure she was as comfortable as possible as you looked down at her. “I’m just overthinking, and I know that.”

You nodded along with her. “Which is why I’m going to make sure you have all sorts of things to keep your mind off of work and everything else. I’ll make you a whole little basket, full of things to keep you entertained while you’re at home. All your favorite movies and books and snacks… Crossword puzzles, you like those… Sudoku, although maybe not, because you always get pissed when you mess up.”

That earned a laugh from Hela, and you smiled, relaxing a little more, now that she seemed to be doing the same. “…chocolates?”

“Only the finest of chocolates, for the finest of wives.” You laughed softly, and pressed another kiss to her temple, lingering there for a moment. “And when I’m home, I’m going to absolutely spoil you. I mean, even more than I’ve been spoiling you, and you know how much I’ve been spoiling you. I’m talking foot rubs whenever you want, back massages with body oil and everything… Hell, I’ll even be your own personal chef and cook you anything and everything you want. And if a craving hits you at three in the morning, I’ll go right out to the corner store and get you whatever it is. Pickles and peanut butter, a gallon of ice cubes. You name it and it’s yours.”

“Mm, what would I ever do without you?” Hela mused, in a playful tone that sounded much closer to her usual self, and you hummed softly.

“You’ll never have to know.”

A more comfortable silence settled over the both of you, and you reached for a washcloth, wet it, and got it soapy before taking to gently lathering Hela as she sat up.

“…y/n?” When she finally spoke, her voice was soft, and hesitant again, and you fell still, anticipating what she was about to say. “What happens if I… if I meet the same fate as my mother?”

It was just what you’d expected her to say. Ever since she’d been pregnant, Hela had been consistently worried about dying in childbirth, as he own mother had, and you’d let her worry to you about it every time that the concern crossed her mind. And you had to admit, you were a little terrified that something that drastic might run in the family.

All the same, you kept a level head as you hummed softly. “…we live in different times now. We have better doctors, better technology, more advancements. Even if, heaven forbid, something was to go wrong in the delivery room, I think the nurses would be prepared to do anything and everything they need to. But I don’t think it’ll ever come down to that. You’re my brave, strong girl. And I love you. So much.”

You pressed a kiss to her shoulder and let the washrag sink to the floor of the tub as you wrapped your arms around her again.

“I don’t want you to worry about that anymore, darling. And I know that’s a difficult ask of you, and I understand it’ll come up again. But just… trust me. You’re going to be just fine.”

Hela gave a single hum of acknowledgement, and made no move to speak, so you settled for kissing her shoulder again and going back to washing her.

Hela would come around, on her own. And if she didn’t, you’d be there to help her every step of the way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What’s all this?” Hela looked up at you in mild amusement, straining to see you over the mound of goodies you’d stuffed into a basket you’d bought to keep by the bed.

“I told you I was gonna spoil you!” You sat the basket down on the bed and plopped down next to Hela, pulling your feet up so you could sit cross-legged as she looked between you and the basket. “Go on, take everything out! I’ll put it all back in once you’ve ensured everything is up to your standards.”

Hela rolled her eyes, but you hadn’t seen her smile this much since the doctor had put her on bedrest a few days ago.

“Alright, alright, give it here, then.”

In lieu of tugging the, admittedly very heavy, basket over to Hela, you simply pulled on one part of it until it came tumbling down on its side onto the bed, spilling its contents across the bedsheets.

“Okay, I see this blanket looks extremely fuzzy and very warm,” Hela pulled the soft, emerald green blanket you’d rolled up toward her, running a hand over it.

“For those pregnancy chills you get sometimes,” you explained, smiling when she draped the blanket over her lap. “Keep going, keep going, there’s, like… thirty things in there.”

“I see… Ten different DVDs, Y/N, you know we have Netflix, right?” Hela looked over at you and you simply shrugged.

“Speaking of, we also now have Disney+, Hulu, HBOMax, Paramount+… Am I forgetting something? I don’t know. But remind me to cancel all those subscriptions once the baby’s come. I mean, unless you want to keep them all, which is fine, too.” Hela gave you a look, and you smiled innocently. “What? I wanted you to have options.”

Hela said nothing else on the matter, and turned back to the basket. “True to your word, I see two different crossword books… And I see you traded the Sudoku idea for an adult coloring book and colored pencils.”

“They’re supposed to be calming.” You nodded sagely, earning a laugh from Hela.

“And when I tear all the pages out in sheer frustration?”

You grinned. “It came in a ten-pack, so…”

“Right. Of course you thought of that. What else have you hid in here…” Hela pulled out no less than ten different packages of her favorite chocolates and other snacks, ranging from somewhat healthy to bordering on sugar-rush inducing. “I don’t think I should be having some of this stuff, with the little bean still cooking.”

“I won’t tell if you don’t~” you sing-songed, beaming when Hela rolled her eyes fondly and set the pile of treats aside. “Massage oil. Y/N, how adult of you.”

You scowled playfully, nose wrinkling. “Get your mind out of the gutter, it’s not for that.”

“I mean, it could be…” Hela wiggled her eyebrows in a manner that was more comedic than anything else, and you snorted.

“Bedrest, Hela, not bedsex.”

“Well, why not both? I hear it’s good for me.”

This time, it was your turn to roll your eyes. “Moving on, please.”

“Oh, we’ll revisit this discussion later.”

“Mmhmm.”

You fell silent as Hela took out a few more items: a five-foot long charging cord (“So you don’t have to reach”), a portable charger (“So you don’t have to turn over to reach”), and a handheld, battery-run game that boasted including over ninety-nine different games.

“You really think I’m going to be bored, don’t you?” Hela mused, setting everything to the side.

“I mean… I would be, if I had nothing to do but sit in the same place all day every day for the next two months, and…” You trailed off as Hela cut you an absolutely annoyed glare. “…I’m not making things any better. Sorry.” You decided it was in your best interest, then, to shut up, and instead nudged a few more items from the basket toward Hela.

“’What To Expect When You’re Expecting,’ darling, don’t you think it’s a little late in the baby-making process for a book like that?”

You shrugged a shoulder. “Just something to read. Again, I mean, since we read it, like… six months ago. I bookmarked parts that might still be useful to you. Like breathing exercises and stuff, and what to do if you get Braxton-Hicks contractions, and what to do when your water breaks and you get real contractions.”

“…fair enough. I see you’ve thrown a healthy mix of other genres in here, as well. Cheesy romance, young adult… children’s books?”

“To practice your mama reading voice,” you nodded, already smiling at the idea of Hela reading in a hushed tone to your baby while they slept in their crib or against one of your chests as you sat in a rocking chair.

“I think I’ll leave the mama voice to you, can you imagine me cooing? It would be laughable.”

“Actually, I can imagine it, and it’s extremely endearing and it makes me fall even more in love with you, so.” You accentuated the end of your sentence by sticking your tongue out, earning a huff of a laugh from Hela as she reached for one of the last items.

“’Ring for a Kiss,’ hm?” Hela smirked up at you, giving the bell a test, and this time, it was your turn to laugh as you leaned over to kiss her.

“Well, they didn’t exactly have one that said ‘Ring for Your Wife To Come Dote On You and Bring You What You Need.’”

“Mm. Too lengthy.” Hela nodded in agreement and set the bell aside before picking up the last item you’d tucked away in the basket, a small, black velvet-covered box, which Hela regarded with narrow eyes before glancing up at you.

“Okay, okay, so this one isn’t so much something to entertain you as it is a… thank you, I guess,” you muttered, suddenly feeling a little shy.

“…for…?” Hela prompted gently, waiting for you to explain before even thinking about opening the box.

“For… this, I guess? For carrying our baby. For making all the sacrifices you have, to keep yourself and our baby safe, and for still loving me through it all,” you explained sheepishly, worried Hela would find the idea, and the gift, laughable.

But Hela only smiled softly as she finally pried open the small jewelry box, carefully pulling out a gold chain with a modest infinity charm attached to it. “Y/N…”

“I thought we could add the baby’s name on it… Once they’re born and we have the right name for them… And then maybe we could keep doing that, if we decide to have more. But I promise right now, I’ll carry the next one. It’s only fair, after the absolute nightmare you’ve had to live through the past few months.”

“I’d do it all over again, for you. For us,” Hela murmured, holding out the necklace to you and moving to hold her hair out of the way so you could gently fasten it around her neck, which you did immediately, pressing a kiss to her shoulder as soon as you’d finished.

“I love you. So much.” You didn’t say it because you felt the need to. You just did. Needed Hela to remember that.

“And I love you. Always.” She turned around so that she could kiss you properly, lingering even as she drew back. “I’m so incredibly lucky to have you in my life, to take care of me and watch over me, and absolutely spoil me.”

You smiled softly, nuzzling your nose against hers. “And this is barely scraping the surface, just so you know. I’m not going to let you do a thing without me being there to help you. Just so we clear that up right now.”

Hela laughed gently, wrapping her arms around your neck to keep you close. “My hero.”

“My entire life,” you whispered in response, kissing her again and gently curling your hand around her belly. “Both of you. I’m gonna take such good care of you. Forever.”

“And we know that.” Hela kissed you again, and it felt so comfortable and warm and happy that you couldn’t help but to smile as you drew back.

“…okay, maybe bedsex just once…”

Hela only laughed. “You’re cleaning the bed off first.”

You flung yourself over with a dramatic sigh. “Must I sleep in the bed I made?”

But you couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt so entirely complete in your entire life than you did right in that moment.

#Hela x reader #Hela Odinsdottir x reader #Hela #Hela Odinsdottir #Marvel #fluff #pregnancy fluff #pregnancy #slight hurt/comfort #mama!Hela #anonymous #ask #answered #thank you for the ask!

[goldenboygate]

Today has been a wild ride from start to finish.

I woke up at 7 am and did an ovulation test. I’ve been doing them for over a week now, sometimes morning and night as can be seen by the wrapping I’ve accumulated (I’ve thrown it away now).

I got a smiley face which means that I have an Lh surge today and tomorrow, meaning these are my two most fertile days.

I sent an email to the clinic and then a message to my boss telling her I’m ovulating and that I’m just waiting for an appointment that could either be today or tomorrow (my boss knows all about the process I’m in and has been my rock these past couple of months). I also messaged my TA and told her all about it, she’s my biggest cheerleader ❤️

About 8:20 I get a phone call from the clinic asking me if I’m already on my way. I say no cause I didn’t know if I would get an appointment and they tell me there’s one free at 15:15. I take it, of course, and 25 minutes later I’m driving out of town and making the roughly 5 hour journey there.

I stop once for a sandwich that I eat while I’m driving and then just before 13:00 I stop to pee (you can’t pee 1-2 hours before the iui). I’m in Reykjavík at 13:30 and I go to two shops while killing time.

At 15:00 I go to the clinic, wait about ten minutes and then I pay 85.000 ISK to have the procedure (that’s €562 or £502). I’ve previously paid about 650.000 ISK for the semen and the pregnancy slot (€4,303 or £3,852).

The procedure is a piece of cake. A speculum is inserted and after that a catheter. 0,84 ml of sperm fluid (consisting of about 170 million sperms) is then pushed into the catheter via a plastic syringe.

I only felt a bit of pressure while it was being done and I was in and out of the procedure room in about 6 minutes (that’s including the chat we had before and changing of clothes).

I was given a pregnancy test and I’m supposed to take it in 18 days, whether or not I have a period in the meantime.

My period is supposed to start in exactly two weeks and that will give an idea if it worked or not. They want me to take the test regardless though, because bleeding during implantation/pregnancy can happen.

This was my first try out of three. There’s only a 19% chance it will work so I’m not getting my hopes up but I’m still hopeful cause I can’t really be anything else.

I stayed in Reykjavík for fours hours, got some KFC and then started driving back home around 17:30. It’s now 23:14 and I’m barely home. The drive back was bad, I drove in black fog for about 3 hours. But I’m back home and safe and really happy about today.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

#karenína personal

[sparkles-and-trash]

Things I got for my birthday 🌸✨💞

- Rituals set

- The pride sweater with the Norwegian king and a quote from his New Years speach, where all the money goes to victims from the pride shooting in Oslo

- Alpacka walk (I’m gonna go for a walk. With a bunch of alpackas.)

- beautiful flowers

- Shoto Keychain, now my keys are tddk themed.

- Dabi figure

- Art

- Unicorn decoration

- Dinner out with one of the besties anywhere anytime on her

- Giftcard/money

- glittery cinnabuns delivered to my door today

- A thorough demonstraition on how to pee outside as efficantly with a vajayjay by two of my besties at around midnight (everyone was sober), sadly not pictured.

Besides that, I had a lovely day with a dinner with my family and closest friend, then two of my other close friends came over and we ate cake and talked until 3 am, which was pretty much the perfect day imo 💖

Thank you so much to everyone who sent dm’s and asks and stuff wishing me a happy bday, it warms my old, weary soul more than you know 💞

#birthday tag #flowers #pride #Oslo pride #rituals #Dabi #tddk #Shoto #unicorn #fairycore #breakfast #friends #irl tag #personal

[larkawolfgirl]

To Love and to Cherish

Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M, Multi Fandom: Kingdom Hearts Relationships: Kairi/Sora, Kairi & Riku & Sora, platonic sorikai Characters: Riku, Kairi, Sora, Kairi's Mother

Summary: Sora and Kairi decide to live the rest of their lives together. They just happen to open that invitation to Riku as well.Takes place after Make it Work, but this can be ready separately.

Read on ao3 

Sora was nervous. Riku could tell from the way he was fidgeting on the couch. Either that or he really needed to pee. Since Kairi was also giving him her full attention, he was guessing the former.

“Kay, what’s up?”

“Well…” Sora cut himself off to glance at Kairi who sighed and took over the apparently difficult task for him.

“Sora and I got engaged last night.”

“Wow.” Luckily he was right in front of a chair so that he could flop down as the information settled like a ton of bricks.

“Now, don’t look at us like that,” Kairi scolded. “You never told us to put our lives on hold, so we didn’t.”

“And,” Sora quickly cut-in, giving Kairi a displeased look, “we aren’t leaving you behind. You can come live with us, that is, if you want to. If not, that’s cool too.”

“Yes, there is that as well.” Kairi gave Sora a look back that implied she would have gotten there if given the time.

Riku just sat in shock for a moment attempting to process this new development. Sora and Kairi were moving forward but they still didn’t intend on leaving him behind. He had no idea what he had done to deserve friends as loyal as these two. “You guys-” he started, feeling wetness in his eyes.

“Now,” Kairi cut-in with a raised hand, “we want you to think about it first. We are getting married. That means we will be having sex. None of us want you to be uncomfortable.”

Riku blinks the tears back. “I love you guys.” The words slip out before he fully processes them.

Sora beams and kneels down beside his chair. “See? You can still love someone in your own way.”

What would he have ever done without Sora? He probably never would have even made friends with Kairi if not for him. “There’s nothing to think about. I want to be with you both for as long as you’ll put up with me.”

“As long as you’re sure. If we do make you uncomfortable, you have to promise to speak up, okay? There’s always the chance you could accidently walk in on us in the living room or something.”

Sora’s face was turning slightly red. “Shouldn’t we stay in the bedroom for his sake?”

“Well, yeah, but what if he’s supposed to be working all day but gets sent home? Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want to christen your home like you’re supposed to.”

“Um, well…”

Riku couldn’t help laughing at Sora’s embarrassment. He wondered if he was embarrassed because he was there or just embarrassed by the topic itself. “Please don’t go out of your way for me anymore than you have to. I can always wear headphones or close my eyes if needed, and worst case, I can move out and try to get someplace nearby. It can’t hurt to try.”

“Then it’s settled!” Sora exclaimed, pulling him into a hug.

The service was beautiful. Kairi’s hair was done up with soft pink and white flowers and her dress shimmered with a silvery purple lace. Sora looked mature beyond his years with his black tux and hair actually styled down with gel. Riku probably cried more than Sora did, which was saying something. He was probably the happiest he’s ever been, which is funny since it wasn’t even his wedding.

Everyone watched transfixed during the first dance. The two of them looked so good together, as if they were two different finishing touches on the same beautiful cake. He wondered if he could really live up to the perfection their union seemed to be. Frosting wasn’t complete without a plain cake under it, he supposed, but still.

He was drawn away from these thoughts when Kairi twirled over to him. The song had ended without him realizing and she beaconed for him to join them. He had never been much of a dancer, but if it was for them, he would do anything. Other people had started dancing as well by now, but he could still feel numerous eyes on him, making him self-conscious.

“Hey,” she said, taking hold of his hand and moving it to her hip, “we’ve got you. Don’t worry about anyone else, okay?” God, was she pretty.

Sora moved his other hand to his hip, then put his own hands on each of their hips so that they formed a little circle. They began to sway and all Riku had to do was move along with them. Perhaps they had noticed that this was his natural rhythm.

They danced for a long time. Smiles and gentle touches the entire time. Eventually, Sora was pulled away by Namine who wanted a dance as well. Kairi immediately wrapped her arms around Riku’s neck and began to sway. He knew she wanted him to put his hands on her hips but this seemed way too intimate for their wedding.

Yet, Kairi was never one to back down. She gave him a fiery look. “Dance with me.”

“Sure, but shouldn’t we–”

“I don’t care what anyone thinks. It’s my wedding, and I want to dance with you.”

That’s all he needed to follow her lead. Riku had never really cared what anyone else besides the two of them thought of him, but he never wanted either of them getting hurt from hurtful opinions. Her proximity was nice. He had shared more physical contact with her in the last months but it still seemed like such an amazing gift.

“Kairi, dear?” came a strident voice.

“M–om?” Kairi whirled out of his arms to face her mother.

“I wanted to congratulate you.”

“Oh, thank you.” She accepted her hug graciously.

“I’ve longed for this day since the day you came to live with us. Every mother dreams of her baby girl marrying the man of her dreams.”

“Haha. You never saw me as a baby, though.”

“That is beside the point. By the way, where did Sora take off to?”

“He was dancing with Namine, although, knowing him, he is probably off with another friend by now.”

“Yes,” her mother adjusted the strap of her purse, “he always has been quick to make a friend. Speaking of friends, how have you been, Riku?”

He straightened. “Fine, ma’am.” The two of them have never gotten along that well, for some reason. Perhaps because she always planned for Kairi and Sora to get together and considered him unnecessary competition.

“What have you decided for living arrangements?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, surely you aren’t planning on continuing to live with my little girl and her husband .”

Riku wasn’t sure how to answer. Of course, he did. But he knew how bad that sounded, not to mention she had just walked in on them dancing intimately together. There was a challenge in her eyes that he didn’t know how to diffuse.

Kairi spoke up so that he didn’t have to. “My husband and I asked him to continue living with us.”

“But dear–”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kairi ruffled the base of her dress. “You think it’s improper or whatever, but Riku is our best friend .”

Her mother’s eyes narrowed at her. “I thought we had had this conversation.”

“Yeah, and I thought you understood that Riku means just as much to me as Sora.”

“But you just married Sora.”

“So what? I’d do it again and marry Riku if I could.” She took his hand in hers. “You want the truth Mom? I love Riku, too. It doesn’t matter if it’s different from how I feel about Sora. I won’t choose one over the other, especially when neither expects me to.”

Her mother clutched at her purse. “I never thought you were a hussey.”

“Call me whatever you want. It won’t change my mind.”

Her mother took a long breath. “Have a fun honeymoon. Call me once you realize this is a huge mistake.”

Sora came up with two glasses of champagne just as her mother stormed off. “Did I miss something?”

Kairi snatched a champagne glass and downed it in one gulp. “Just my mother overreacting again. And not listening to a word I say.”

Riku frowned. “She sounded really upset and even told you not to call until you realize this is a mistake. I don’t want to be the reason you can’t see your mom.”

“Oh, don’t mind her. She’s always like this. I’ll call her next week.

“When you two get back from Corona?”

“Yeah, although the offer for you to come with us still stands.”

“Yeah, Riku,” Sora pulled him into a semi-hug, “you should come. It’ll be fun.”

He was honored, really, but he couldn’t just let them keep giving so much to him. “No, you two should. You just got married. You should take some time alone.”

Sora smiled. “I get what you mean, but I’ll still miss you.”

Riku smiled back. “I’ll miss you both, too.”

“We’ll just have to call you every day on the gummiephone,” Kairi said, looking far too determined.

Riku laughed. “Okay then. By the way, congrats.”

Kairi took his hand. “Thanks, silly.”

“Why am I silly?”

“Because…”

“You are,” Sora finished for her, goofy grin on his face.

“Oh, yeah?” He wiggled, attempting to wrestle his best friend. This drew even more attention than their triad dance earlier, but Riku was too happy to care about that.

#my writing #sokai #sorikai #sora x kairi #riku x sora x kairi #riku #sora #kairi #kh #kingdom hearts #fanfic #fanfiction

[29pageshomestuckeveryday]

Homestuck, pages 17-26

John: Combine the nails and hammer.

You MERGE the top two cards.

The HAMMER and NAILS are now captchalogued on the same card and can be used together.

Page 18

John: Use hammer/nails on poster.

You use the HAMMER and NAILS card IN CONJUNCTION with the card beneath it.

Author commentary: Carefully educating you on needlessly complicated inventory systems that eventually get retired from a game you never get to play that doesn't actually exist. HOMESTUCK.

Page 19

John: Nail poster to wall.

You use the HAMMER, NAILS, and POSTER on the blank space on the wall.

It's glorious. Exactly what you wanted. The old man really came through this time.

Author commentary: Aside from Mac and Me which is unspeakably horrific, Little Monsters is probably the worst movie on John's wall. Howie Mandel parades as this disgusting thing with horns dressed as a 1980's punk and pees in juice bottles and stuff. His appearance foreshadows the existence of trolls in Homestuck, though to be honest at this point I hadn't conceived of them yet. "Foreshadows" is often interchangeable with "inspires."

Page 20

John: Examine Con Air poster.

PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN THE BOX. I SAID, PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN THE BOX. WHY COULDN'T YOU PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN THE BOX?

Page 21

John: Examine Deep Impact poster.

Morgan Freeman's genteel, homespun mannerisms were perfect qualities for a president residing over a crisis.

OCEANS RISE. CITIES FALL. HOPE SURVIVES.

WOW.

Films about impending apocalypse fascinate you. Plus, a black president??? Now you've seen everything!

Author commentary: If you recall, before Obama came along, movies and TV used to treat black presidents as a monumental novelty, kind of implicitly. Strider rants about this later and does a silly rap. Oh, also the movie posters foreshadow practically everything in the story, in equal parts intentional and conveniently retroactive.

Page 22

John: Examine calendar.

You've marked your birthday, the 13th of April. Another day you marked was supposed to be the arrival date for the highly touted SBURB BETA LAUNCH. It's been three days already. It's starting to become a sore subject with you.

Author commentary: The Sburb beta arrived three days after it was released. Just like Homestuck officially began three days after my "beta" attempt. This is pure coincidence. In the beta, the calendar marked John's birthday as the tenth (the day I started the HS beta), and the Sburb beta three days before that. The fact that there was a three-day delay for both Sburb and Homestuck is just another one of those weird miracles with no explanation.

Page 23

John: Eat cake.

You are sick to death of cake!!! You've been eating it all day. And you have no intention of clogging your SYLLADEX with it either. The CAKE stays put for now. You hear a notice from your COMPUTER. Someone is messaging you.

Page 24

John: Examine incoming message.

You pull up to your COMPUTER. This is where you spend most of your time. You decorated your desktop with some rather handsome WALLPAPER which you made yourself. You are really proud of it. Your desktop is also littered with various PROGRAMMING PROJECT FILES. You are so bad at programming sometimes you wonder why you even bother with it. Your PESTERCHUM application is flashing. Someone is trying to get in touch with you.

Author commentary: The ~ATH file on John's desktop actually has the same filename as Karkat's terrible attempt of a program, 2001 pages later.

Page 25

John: Open Pesterchum.

Only one of your CHUMS is logged in. He's sent you a message.

Author commentary: There is generally of lot of meaningful detail to observe on each of the kids' computer desktops. One thing I'll point out here: the time. Translates to 4:13 PM. About Pesterchum: it's my simplistic parody of chat clients, which always struck me as not much more than perpetual botherment engines. Little gateways for your friends to hassle you all the time, dear to you though they may be.

Page 26

John: Open message.

Author commentary: This was a lightly edited real-life conversation I had online with a guy named Michael Firman, who does a comic called Moe. My original idea for the chat logs was to mix in a bunch of excerpts from the fairly substantial chatlogs I'd accumulated with some people over the years, to help keep the chat dialogue very casual and true to life. But in practice, it was difficult to advance the story with this idea. There was only one other conversation in the story borrowed from reality, wherein Dave conversed with Rose about being sexually assaulted by a bunch of puppets

#gif #pesterlog

[ohsleepingagain]

hello there! this just happened to me and I figured I'd better record this for at least my own use later 😅

content: nsft, omo/ holding, control

I was asked by the person I've been seeing very recently if I'd enjoy being controlled over text. Obviously my answer was yes, and you see this was where I made a mistake. at 10:37 PM i was told I was not allowed to pee without permission the rest of the night. Then I made my second mistake. I decided I would make it a challenge for myself on my end. I would finish my water immediately and start a new one. by the end of the night I had three or four glasses of water and one coconut soda with gin. She and I would go in and out of messaging and I would think "ha, I've got this! I'll just ask when I'm at like an 8/ 10 and then I'll be able to get off and go to bed!"

I severely underestimated her power over me.

It started tame enough. we passively discussed some things like date r*pe fantasies and kidnapping we had read in books, the usual. At about 1:30 I checked in and said I was still going strong. I was surprised and figured within the next thirty minutes or so I'd probably either have to go bad enough to ask or I'd ask anyways. Well, just a few minutes later, I was at a 'fairly need to go', 8.5/10. 1:35 AM I am told I need to wait ten min. 1:45 and I told her I was at 8.5, but she checked with me what my limits were and I assured her I'd say something if I really needed to. At 1:49 I was told it was time to wait 20 more minutes.

By this point I'm so hard and so wet and really have to pee, I'm like pacing around my apartment like a madman. 2:09 rolls around and I've already explained that in at a 9.9 if reaching 10.1 is pissing myself. My next instructions were to strip, sit on the toilet with my legs as far apart as possible, and play with myself. I have to ask if I want to finish and I can only pee if there is no more holding back. I accepted. I sent pictures of proof when told and thought maybe I would be able to ask now. I was then given a 45 second timeframe where if I was going to cum tonight I had to do it then, and I didn't get to because I was so so so focused on not peeing because I was told not to dare to.

I asked again, and I was made to beg so I did. I was finally allowed to pee and I was allowed one minute to get it all out or if it wasn't all out I'd have to hold again. I was so scared I was going to have to hold again but I made it. and I felt so bad but I told her that I was dripping cum after finally peeing and she told me she was proud of me :) and I sent another picture of my puffy dripping hole for her.

I had also told her throughout this that I don't think I've ever been this turned on, not had I ever been this turned on for so long. Oh yeah, the time I finally got to go? 2:33 AM

the icing on the cake for me though? she'd been edging all day. soon you guys will know all the stuff I'm into but that's, whew, that's a good one. I told her after that I think that's extremely hot but knowing she had been just edging on and off threw me oh my god.

#omo #t4t nsft

[liptonsbabe]

Hi would you mind doing a piece with the promos Misc 16 and fluff 8 with Thomas from the maze runner pretty please? Thanks!!

Thank u for requesting!

Thomas, where’s my kiddo? [Thomas]

Thomas x Fem! reader

#8 “I think you might be my soulmate.”

#16 “YOU SAID TO BE HONEST STOP HITTING ME!”

From the fluff and misc prompt list here!

Word count: idk, sorry lol

warings: none

"Are you sure you can handle this? I mean, this will be the first time you'll be taking care of our little one without me."

"Are you kidding? This will be a piece of cake" Thomas told you as he placed his four year old son on his lap. The little boy laughed when his daddy kissed his cheek. You smiled

"It will be several hours, Thomas. You know Alby doesn't take meetings lightly."

"Will you calm down? It's going to be fine. For once in your life trust my judgment."

You sighed because you knew Thomas was right, you should trust him a little more and his ability to spend time with his son without either of them getting hurt. You smiled then left a kiss on both boys' cheeks.

"Okay, you two can have fun while I'm gone" They both cheered "Just make sure he doesn't put anything in his mouth and don't ever let him out of your sight, got it?"

Thomas rolled his eyes.

"We'll be fine, stop worrying."

"Great, then" You said goodbye watching as Thomas began to play with his little boy in his arms.

After two hours, the door to the meeting room opened with a bang revealing a sweaty Thomas. You frowned as you approached him.

"Tom, what are you doing here? And where is our son?"

"Uh... is he not here?" You looked at him sternly. Thomas raised his arms before you claimed "We're playing hide and seek! Yes, that's right. We're playing, so now it's my turn to find him, did you know our little guy is very good at hiding? I think he got it from you!".

"Thomas..." You warned him. He smiled nervously

"Yes, I think you guys are lot alike. You're both adorable, funny and very naughty. I think you might be my soul mate, ya know"

"Thomas" you repeated looking at him with annoyance. He was babbling things trying to evade the subject so you would forget why he was there. You grabbed him by the wrist squeezing him hard "I'm not going to repeat it again, so be honest where is my son?"

Thomas shrugged his shoulders, defeated

"Fine! I lost him!"

"Thomas!"

"It wasn't my fault! I don't know how it happened, I just left him for a moment near the box playing with his wooden strollers while I got a juice box from the kitchen!"

"I warned you not to leave him alone!" you yelled hitting his chest.

"YOU SAID TO BE HONEST STOP HITTING ME! and it was only a couple of minutes!"

You left the room a nervous wreck because even though you shouted your son's name three times he didn't answer. Alby organized the search in no time and that's how you and Thomas found yourselves walking all over the glade arguing.

Time passed as your concern grew. Alby had already sent the runners out to take a look at the main corridors of the maze but they still didn't have much luck. Thomas let out a sigh before taking your hands and continuing to search for his little boy.

Something seemed to come to Thomas' mind all of a sudden.

"The chocolate cave!"

"What?"

"He's in there!"

Without another word, Thomas ran out into the kitchen where no one had taken the time to look. Inside the huge drawer where Frypan kept the chocolate for his special cakes was your son, covered from head to toe in chocolate and with his belly swollen from eating so much candy. You let out a sigh of relief.

The little boy's eyes lit up after seeing his father. He threw himself into his arms, staining Thomas's shirt with the candy.

"Daddy!"

"God, baby, you had us worried sick."

"You found me!" your son laughed. Thomas nodded, embarrassed

"No matter where you are, your dad is always going to find you" You both stroked his hair making him laugh. Thomas kissed his forehead "Holy shit, you almost made me pee my pants!"

"Mommy! Daddy's saying bad words!"

"Yeah, I heard that" That was the moment Thomas knew he had screwed up. Your look made him shrug his shoulders even with his son in his arms "Daddy will be grounded for quite a while, and so are you!"

#tmr thomas #thomas x reader #thomas imagine #the maze runner cast imagine #the scorch trials #the maze runner imagine #the maze runner x reader #the maze runner #dylan o'brien x reader #dylan o'brian imagine #dylan obrien #tmr newt #tmr minho #tmr gally #tmr request

[hyogonokitsune]

haikyuu boys as things my fwb has said to me, part 2

atsumu

I may or may not have slightly edited my tinder photos to make my ass look fatter

I hate having manners

I’m gonna kill myself I just found a tick in doomah. doomah? do mah nuts fit in your mouth 😎

is it weird for me to be obsessed with how big all my friends’ dicks are? whatever

oh, I’m kinda surprised you didn’t smack my ass just now. did you want me to? yeah 😔

oikawa

I just... really wanna get pegged

why didn’t you tell me my lips were so chapped?? I look disgusting

happy pride month, my bisexual queen. although I think you should be wishing me a happy pride, because I’ve recently developed crushes on some UFC fighters and it’s making me question some things

I hear that cum is a good skin soother

I’m only obsessed with select men’s penises

kuroo

only bad bitches have IUDs 😤

look at how small my dick is when it’s soft. just a teeny lil winkie

your coochie is immaculate

a clown must always ride around in his or her clown car, metaphorically, physically, and emotionally

I almost got into an accident the other day. I was, uhh, playing chess on my phone on the highway

I vacillate between a lovable moron and a hyper intelligent troll

suna

*shares positive feedback I got from a professor* that means he wants to stuff you

my friend paid me $50 to do shrooms with him, so that’s why I’m tripping at the gym right now

I’ll pay for us to go mini golfing, and then I’ll take you out for dinner but I’m just gonna pay for my own meal :)

I might have become like a low key drug dealer. just a little bit

middle parts are 💯

osamu

*sends him a picture of a cake I made* that looks BUSSIN

I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little bitter that all these ticks are crawling on me and none of them are on you

those trees that smell like cum are blooming again

I wanted to kiss you just now, but I have Taki breath

do you think it would be disrespectful to bring some snacks with us on this walk through a cemetery?

do you remember that park we were in last night? apparently they found a body there a few weeks ago. whatever

bokuto

how soon is too soon to piss in front of someone in the woods?

the neck is one of the body’s androgynous zones. you mean erogenous zones? yeah that’s what I said

*gets not one, but two bowling balls stuck in the gutter*

sorry I can’t hug you for too long, I might get a boner and we’re in public

kita

come here, let’s enjoy the transient beauty of nature together

are you feeling touch starved? you want a hug?

I’m sorry you had a bad day queen 😔

he needs some goat milk to straighten him out, show him some discipline

sakusa

this is the most disgusting city on the planet, god bless 🙏🏼

god damn, my skin is absolutely glowing today

you’re my favorite little whore

hinata

what’s your wifi password? uhh, BingusBingus

hey can I give you a penny? just so I can say I’ve paid someone for sex

it’s easier for guys to pee wherever they want, but pooping is the great equalizer

I did not shit in those woods. I shat in some other woods

I’m smarter than the average pill bug

iwaizumi

is it homophobic of me to not let you win at bowling?

you sometimes speak like abe lincoln

do I pick friends based on if they are attractive? sometimes

tanaka

I just farted outside of my friend’s house and sent it to him as an audio clip to antagonize him

I just pissed for 55 seconds, who wants to try and beat my record?

god gave me a dick and balls so I could helicopter them at my nemesis's funeral

I’d let you do literally whatever you wanted to me. that made my balls happy reading that

I don’t get the hot boy attention I deserve from enough women

kenma

you listen to music while you go on walks, I listen to podcasts on bloodborne lore while I go to the gym using my stolen membership, we are not the same

quarantine did irreparable damage to my brain

*sends a picture of him holding a frying pan over his sleeping friend’s head* I’m about to tom & jerry this bitch

--

➣masterlist

--

➣taglist (let me know if you want to be added!)

@crystal-lilac @rinniesbbygirl  @rinsangel

#haikyuu headcanons #miya atsumu headcanons #atsumu headcanons #oikawa tooru headcanons #oikawa headcanons #kuroo tetsurou headcanons #kuroo headcanons #suna rintarou headcanons #suna headcanons #miya osamu headcanons #osamu headcanons #bokuto koutarou headcanons #bokuto headcanons #kita shinsuke headcanons #kita headcanons #sakusa kiyoomi headcanons #sakusa headcanons #hinata shoyo headcanons #hinata headcanons #iwaizumi hajime headcanons #iwaizumi headcanons #tanaka ryuunosuke headcanons #tanaka headcanons #kozume kenma headcanons #kenma headcanons #niakasi writing

[divinefireangel]

SF9 and Pick Up Lines

Oh dear here we go 😂

SF9 x GN! Reader

Sometimes the reader uses pick up lines and sometimes SF9 😆

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Author's Note: A super quick fluffy mini imagine for my lovely fellow fantasies. Hope you like it!!

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: All ages and all readers (nothing specified with respect to gender, appearance, etc of reader). Fluff. Jae's is a lil suggestive but that's it. Lmk if I missed any!

Inseong

" Babe I can't figure out why the bluetooth speaker isn't working." You pouted.

" It was working fine when I used it in the morning. Ah! Yes. Maybe the charge is over. When was the last time you charged it?"

" I don't remember" You answered sheepishly.

" Try charging it my dear."

" Okay babe. Or should I call you 'Google' because you're everything I've been looking for."

Sighing in disappointment he looked down, shaking his head sideways.

" What! That wasn't so bad! "

" Do you really wanna know? "

" No." You stuck you tongue out at your boyfriend.

" You're cute"

Youngbin

" And then she went on about her vacations to Hawaii and the number of times she's been there. It was so annoying because all we were talking about were active volcanoes. There's one in Hawaii too and that's how-"

" Binnie you aren't listening to mee!" You whined.

" Sorry. You're just so cute it's distracting."

" Aish stop." Blushing, you pushed his chest lightly.

Chuckling he pulled you closer.

" Go on then. Continue your story."

" But you aren't paying attention." You smiled.

" I will now!" He gestured you to carry on with your story.

Jaeyoon

" Chocolate cake!! "

" From your favorite bakery too." Jae quipped in as you stared at your gift in awe.

" I wish someone looked at me the way I look at chocolate cake." You said sighing.

" I can look at you like that." He said engulfing your body into his, making you giggle.

" I meant in a way of wanting to completely devour it."

Smirking he gave you a knowing look. Biting his bottom lip, he leant down to kiss your collar bone. Gasping you try to push him away.

" I wanna eat my cake!" Laughing, you succeeded in pushing him off.

" But what about my cake?"

"JAE!"

Sanghyuk

Standing around the most boring people you huff in annoyance. Why did you have to wait here of all places to be picked up for your date. Just when you were about to check your phone, you saw him, the only star in your sky. Sanghyuk.

He looked around, clearly not able to find you. With mischief in mind, you placed your hand around your mouth, in an attempt to amplify your voice.

" You must be one hell of a theif because you stole my heart from across the room!" You said loud enough for everyone, including your lover to hear as you pointed your gaze and hand towards his direction.

Blushing furiously he walked over to you so fast he probably would've sprained his leg if he hadn't been careful.

" Hello lover." You raised your eyebrows smirking.

" As much as I love you I don't think this is a place for a very loud proclamation of love." He said, a smile dancing on his lips.

Shrugging you grabbed his hand made your way out, passing many jealous and judgy eyes.

Juho

" Babe babe babe!" He said rushing over to you from the group of people he was talking to.

" Is everything okay? Did you get that producer's number?" You asked.

" I did but that's not important."

" Okay what is? Did you forget the gift envelope?" You questioned disappointed.

" Noooo. That's not it. They may ask us time leave soon."

" What?! Why?"

" Because you are making the other people look bad." He finished smiling brightly.

" Aish. Really Ju?"

Grinning in triumph he kissed the top of your head, taking your hand to lead you to the dance floor.

SeokWoo

Typical. Of course they had to move your favorite cereal on the top shelf. Getting on your tippy toes you almost reached the box when you saw a hand, one all too familiar hand, reach up and take the box down for you.

" Is this what you wanted?" He asked smirking slightly.

" Are you a tower? Because Eiffel for you." You flirted looking up at your boyfriend.

" No I'm just really tall" He said cutely not knowing how to react to your compliment.

Grinning you take the box from his hand and put in the shopping cart. Looking around the aisle, noticing that no one is there you wrap your arms around your tall beauty. Looking up at his face smiling when he reciprocates the gesture you lean up to kiss him.

Yoo Taeyang

Waking from your nap, trying to figure out where you are, you realize that you are in your boyfriend's bed. Your thoughts interrupted when a sudden pang of pain grew in your head.

Great. A headache after a nap is just what you needed. Getting up to pee, your change into pajamas and venture out of the room towards the kitchen.

Might as well make coffee to control the headache from becoming a migraine. Stopping dead in your tracks at the entrance of the kitchen, you notice your lovely boyfriend standing at the stove, unmistakably making you coffee.

Looking up at you, after feeling stared at, he offers you a soft smile and a hand to take so you can cuddle into his side.

" Did the sun just come out or did you just smile at me?" You asked with a small smile that only he can bring about in you when you have a sore head.

" That's the oldest one in the book!" He said laughing as you hid your face in chest.

Youngkyun

" Oo babe check out these new jackets my mom sent!"

" Did she send me any?" He asked.

" No." You giggled as you tried one on.

" How does this look? It's kinda like the professional but not so professional type blazer. Don't you think?"

" It's lowkey casual. Try this one." Trying on the one he suggested you thought it was of a bigger size than yours.

" It's too big on me." You pouted.

" But you look nice in it. Like a baby."

" But the point is to look hot. Hot and beautiful too." You informed him.

" You know what you would look really beautiful in?"

" What? Is it in one of thes-"

" My arms." He said dramatically opening his arms. Rolling your eyes in playful disbelief you threw a nearby jacket at him.

Chani

" This is when he picked out his first tree all by himself." Chani's mom said pointing to a picture in the album that is situated on your lap.

Groaning he hid his face in your neck. Giggling you pet his head. Hearing the cooker whistle Chani's mom went to the kitchen.

" How come there isn't even one picture with you on top of a tree. I thought that's where angels were." You whispered to his ear. Lifting his head with a smirk he replied,

" Because I am the devil."

" Oh! Makes sense I guess. I mean, you are as hot as one." You winked.

" Ayy no!" He exclaimed blushing as you silently snickered knowing you won.

#sf9 #youngbin #inseong #jaeyoon #dawon #rowoon #zuho #yoo taeyang #hwiyoung #chani #sf9 fluff #sf9 imagines #sf9 scenarios #sf9 reactions #sf9 fanfic #sf9 headcanons #sf9 x reader #sf9 x reader fluff

[chatonne-rousse]

Turtle-y Awesome

@sketchy-panda sent me the following ask last week:

...and this is the story that sprang from that ask. You never know what you're going to get when you share a headcanon with me! 😉

Read it on Ao3 here.

"...et puit, quand il fut bien certain que personne ne pouvait le voir, Benjamin alluma sa veilleuse."

Adrien turns the last worn page and sets the book beside his knee on Hugo's bed.

"What do you think, kitten? Benjamin was turtle-y being a scaredy-cat, wasn't he?"

Hugo giggles, eyes bright. "He's not a cat, Papa, he's a turtle!"

Adrien nods sagely at his son. "Right you are," he says, patting the book's cover. "If this book tortoise anything, it's that Benjamin is definitely a turtle."

The number of turtle puns in the world is finite, and Hugo has heard his dad tell them all repeatedly, but he still laughs every time. The sound is music to Adrien's ears. He grins as he leans down to tuck the duvet around Hugo's shoulders and lifts his son's dark fringe to place a kiss on his forehead.

"Can we read another story, Papa? I'm not even tired."

Hugo's big green eyes scrunch shut as he yawns widely.

"Mmhmm. I can tell. You know what?" Adrien grabs another stuffed turtle from the bookcase and tucks it in beside the Carapace plushie already cradled in Hugo's arms. "Monsieur Vert looks very tired. He was almost sleeping over there! Maybe if you hold him really, really gently, that will help him fall asleep. I'm sure Carapace is tuckered out after a long day of superheroing, too."

"He is," Hugo says, nodding. He strokes his little hand up and over Monsieur Vert's soft shell. "I'll help them, Papa."

Adrien smiles even as his chest squeezes with emotion. "I know you will, my kind-hearted kitten." He can't resist pressing another kiss to Hugo's forehead and delights in receiving a loud, smacking kiss to his own cheek in return.

The turtle lamp on the nightstand is switched off and the Carapace nightlight beside the bookshelf activates, dim light glowing green through the plastic.

"Bonne nuit, ma petite tortue."

He watches his son cuddle his turtle and Carapace close as the closing door slowly eclipses the bed in shadow from the hallway light. Leaving the door open a crack, Adrien listens for a moment as Hugo gets comfortable in his bed.

He smiles as he pads down the hall toward Emma's room to join his wife for another round of goodnight kisses for their precious kittens.

*****

"Kitty, this is getting ridiculous. How is that the only thing he wants for his birthday?" Marinette shakes her head, but her grin betrays her lack of any real annoyance.

Adrien rubs his face and groans. "I know. Believe me, I know. Can you imagine if Nino knew?"

That surprises her. "You haven't told him? I told Alya ages ago when he said Carapace was his favorite." She thinks for a moment. "I don't think I've shared the, um...depth of the obsession, though."

He stares at her, deadpan, before they both laugh.

"Turtles I could handle, Mari. They're cute. They're green." He bats his eyes at her and she swats his arm playfully. "But Carapace? Carapace? When Chat Noir is right there? I don't get it."

"Awww, Chaton. Is my kitty jealous?"

"Of course not," he says, pouting, though he can't keep up the ruse and his smile breaks through. "Okay, maybe a little."

"Nino made a wonderful hero, and is the perfect holder for Wayzz, and you know it."

She scooches closer to him on the sofa and rubs his back gently. His eyes close for just a moment before opening them to find his wife gazing at him with what might just be his favorite look in her eyes - a teasing glint, a touch of heat, and an endless well of love. Everything goes fuzzy momentarily, but he catches her next words clearly.

"Besides, my favorite hero will always be Chat Noir. Always."

"Yeah?" he breathes.

She nods.

Her eyes go wide when he hauls her petite frame from the sofa beside him and settles her across his lap. She laughs as she wraps her arms around his neck and presses a kiss to his lips.

"What a coincidence, My Lady," he murmurs into the whisper of space between them, "because my favorite hero--" He pauses, kissing her again, "is also Chat Noir."

There's a beat of silence and then she's laughing, pressing her face into the crook of his neck to muffle her giggles. His arms tighten around her shaking shoulders as he laughs along with her, swept away by the sweet sound he will always love. There's no joy in the world quite like making his wife laugh.

"You know I'm kidding, Bug," he finally whispers into her hair when their laughter subsides. "Emma and I share a favorite hero. The greatest of all. Prettiest, too. Oh, wow, is she ever beautiful. And strong. And smart."

"Rena Rouge?" Marinette asks cheekily, her nose still pressed to his neck.

"Nooooo," he croons, tickling her sides until she laughs again. "It's Ladybug, jumping above, Lady magique et lady chance!"

"Kitty, no!" she begs through her giggles, "Don't get that in my head!"

"Too late!"

He silences the last of her laughter when he captures her lips with his, twin sighs mingling in the late-night quiet of the living room.

With forever in his arms and their shared future asleep down the hall, Adrien simply loses himself in this blissful moment, forgetting that their baby will turn five next weekend, that the passage of time is as inevitable as the dichotomy of creation and destruction. Wrapped up in his wife, time seems to stop altogether. Marinette - her love, her care, their unshakeable bond - is eternal.

But of course, the clock still ticks. And when they part a few minutes later, after one last kiss and a nuzzle of her nose against his, he still has to ask.

"So we're really throwing Hugo a Carapace-themed birthday party?"

She nods. "Yep."

"And we're buying him the new Shell-ter Secret Hideout Super Bunker, complete with Carapace action figure, power-ups, costume changes, a Turtle-mobile sports car that Nino never had, and four different colored shields that he also never had?"

"There's a jet, too, for some reason. But...yep."

Adrien nods slowly, a smile spreading across his face. "He's going to love it."

"Oh, he is," she affirms, her grin matching her husband's. "And so is Uncle Nino."

He snorts a laugh and pulls her close once more, breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo.

"This'll be hilarious."

Marinette smiles against his shoulder.

"Yep."

*****

Everything is green.

Their normally colorful apartment seems to have transformed into an emerald dreamscape that doubles as a turtle sanctuary.

Everything is green, and there are turtles everywhere.

Sea turtles, tortoises, turtles of all kinds - including a certain turtle-themed superhero - adorn every surface. Adrien had been surprised by the amount of Carapace party merchandise he was able to find online. He's used to the numerous Carapace items in Hugo's bedroom, pieces he's added to his collection one by one over the past year or so. But this, his best friend's face dangling from streamers, emblazoned on little party hats, is just a little weird.

He's proud, though. A little jealous, a lot amused, and very, very proud. No desperately sad, pitifully lonely teenage boy has ever found a better friend than Nino Lahiffe. He's the brother of his heart, the mellow to his anxious, the staunch protector of their little group of best friends and hero teammates. Adrien has to admit that Hugo has great taste in favorite superheroes.

Someday he'll discover that his idol is also his Uncle Nino, but today is not that day. Today, the magic and wonder still shines in his son's eyes, and it's a beautiful thing.

Adrien putters around the kitchen making last-minute preparations to the food and drink selection, making sure there are plenty of cups and plates (all printed with a Carapace action scene, of course) stacked on the island. Oddly, he couldn't find Carapace napkins to go along with the other paper goods, but Marinette had saved the day by snagging a pack of sea turtle patterned napkins that coordinated perfectly in a pinch.

He smiles at the thought of his resourceful bug, his grin widening as he hears her welcome guests at the door. This is followed by a squeal of glee when Hugo and two of his classmates run off to his bedroom to play. Adrien shakes his head, still smiling. He'll have to lure them out in a bit with snacks and the promise of gifts and cake.

It's not like he doesn't already know from several years of experience that children's birthday parties are mostly adults mingling and intermittently making sure the kids don't get into too much mischief as they play together.

He takes the spinach quiche from the oven where it was warming up and sets it on the table with the other food, rebelliously placing a black potholder with a neon green pawprint pattern under the hot ceramic dish.

A towering, tiered tray of green macarons has pride of place on the dining room table, the top half of each cookie painted to look like a turtle's shell in edible glittering gold. They look almost too pretty to eat, and the same goes for the expertly-decorated turtle cake nearby, made by Hugo's grandparents and brought straight from the bakery for his big day.

The vegetable plate is an array of green, from broccoli to peppers to celery. The party has barely begun, but the celery is already running low, thanks to Emma's clandestine snacking in the hours beforehand.

Everything is green, and Hugo loves it. And that's what it's all about, really.

*****

Adrien is on his way back from checking in on the now half dozen kids playing in Hugo's room when he hears Alya's laughter from the entryway. Clearly she's spotted the party decor. He rounds the corner to find Marinette hugging her best friend, Alya's pregnant belly only getting in the way a bit and not stopping her from throwing her arms around Marinette's shoulders.

"Sorry we're late, Mari," she says, then pitches her voice to a stage whisper. "I had to pee. Twice." She leans back from the hug and cradles her bump. "Actually, I'm just going to..." She points down the hall, and Marinette laughs.

"Go for it, Als. We've all been there."

Nino is still crouched by the door, helping his daughter out of her jacket and shoes. He just shakes his head and laughs. She races off to find her "cousins" and Nino stands, kissing Marinette on each cheek and wrapping Adrien in a hug.

Surveying the apartment over Adrien's shoulder, he claps him on the back and says, "I love what you've done with the place. Very inspired design choice."

Adrien rolls his eyes and all three of them laugh.

"Hugo is obsessed with turtles. You have no idea."

"Oh, I think he has some idea, Minou." Marinette smiles at her husband over her shoulder, linking arms with Alya when she joins them again and ushering her into the green-bedecked living room.

He glances sidelong at Nino with a sheepish grin. "This isn't too weird for you, is it? It was all Hugo's idea. He hasn't stopped talking about his 'Carapace Turtle Party' for weeks," Adrien says, air quotes included.

"Nah, mec, it's cool. Kind of flattering." Nino raises an eyebrow and laughs. "What do you think he'll say when you tell him someday?"

Adrien just shakes his head. "Probably ask if you can adopt him and be his dad instead." His smile is teasing but just a touch rueful.

Nino laughs again. "No way, man. Number one, I've already got enough kids. Number two, you're the best dad. They love you like crazy, bro. Seriously."

His chest fills with warmth. Nino is such an incredible friend. And he's right (about the last bit, at least).

"They're incredible, Nino. Being a dad is..." He trails off, unable to find the words.

"I know, dude." He claps Adrien on the shoulder. "They're a pain in the ass, but they make up for it by being totally awesome."

Nino glances around, finally spotting the table full of green food and turtle-themed treats.

"Wait. Bro. Is that a turtle cake?"

*****

"You know," Nino says a few minutes later, washing down a matcha macaron with a swig of turtle punch, "I could get used to this. It would mess with my head, but after a while--" he looks at the cup with his face on it and shrugs, "it's not so strange. Better than having my face plastered on a billboard outside the Galeries Lafayette."

Adrien groans. "Et tu, Brute? Why would you remind me of that?"

"Because I can." Nino takes another bite of macaron and nudges his best friend's shoulder, laughing.

*****

As the kids snack and carry on, Adrien finally decides it's time to let his best friend see the Carapace shrine that is his son's bedroom.

Nino takes in Hugo's completely green, turtle-filled bedroom as Adrien waits with bated breath beside him for his reaction.

It is, as usual, relatively chill.

"Little dude has good taste!"

"Indeed." Wayzz peeks from Nino's collar with a pleased smile on his face. "The turtle has always symbolized wisdom, strength, and longevity." His tiny smile widens. "I'm also partial to the color green."

Nino steps farther into Hugo's room to examine the bookcase. "I...did not know they made this much Carapace merch."

"Believe me, there's more. We have to draw the line somewhere." Adrien closes his eyes and sighs. "Although he does brush his teeth with a Carapace toothbrush."

Nino's laugh starts as a snort and builds when he spots the Carapace wastebasket beside Hugo's bed and the Carapace plushie propped against his pillow. It turns positively raucous when he sees his best friend's face.

"Holy crap, dude," he wheezes. "This is hilarious. You must be so jealous."

"I am not!"

"You totally are."

"Well--" Adrien sputters, "Marinette is, too!"

"Not as much as you are, Kitty!" she calls from the living room.

Adrien throws his hands in the air. Nino doubles over.

"Chat Noir is cool, too," he mutters, petulant.

A still-laughing Nino pats his arm consolingly. "If it makes you feel any better, Chat Noir is my favorite hero...after Rena Rouge."

That actually does make him feel better, but he's not telling Nino that. Instead, he just grins a sly half-smile at his best friend. "Good save, man."

"Hey, I know which side my bread is buttered on, mec. Don't act like you don't."

Adrien is helpless to the smile that spreads across his face.

Nino groans. "You've been married for seven years, dude. Are you ever not going to go all gooey just thinking about Marinette?"

Adrien quirks an eyebrow and glances sidelong at him. Nino nods once and pats Adrien's shoulder.

"That was a dumb question, wasn't it?"

"Yep," Marinette says from the hallway behind them.

Adrien's heart beats faster at the twinkle in her eye. He wonders how much she heard. Probably all of it - she always did have sonic hearing, but motherhood seemed to ramp it up to eleven. Not much escapes his wife.

"Time for cake and presents," she announces. "Nino, you can revel in Hugo's Carapace shrine later."

"And I will, don't you worry," Nino says with a laugh as he turns to head back to the party.

Adrien throws an arm over his best friend's shoulder and smiles brightly at Marinette.

Hugo has merch, but Adrien has a real, live Ladybug who promised eternity to her Chat Noir. He holds his own favorite superhero in his arms every night, and nothing, nothing compares to that.

*****

Surrounded by wrapping paper and bows, the birthday boy sits on the floor with one last gift in front of him. The box is taller than he is when seated, and he has to stand up on his knees to tear the paper off the top. As soon as he can see what's inside, he shouts with glee and jumps to his feet. Overjoyed, he scampers around the coffee table to his parents, first thanking Marinette with a hug and kiss, then getting swept up in Adrien's arms for a bear hug.

The fact that Hugo doesn't push away from him to return to his barely-unwrapped gift is not lost on him, nor is the fact that he abandoned it and thought to thank them first in his excitement.

Sometimes Adrien feels like he's been given so much more than he deserves. Marinette alone is a blessing beyond his imagination, but Emma and Hugo, too? It's too much and he knows it, so he holds them close and relishes every single moment like this one with his little boy hugging him tight and murmuring thanks into his neck.

A few minutes later finds Hugo examining every detail of his new treasure (after Adrien wrangled all the parts out of their plastic-encased prison).

He claps his hands when he sees that this set comes with a bonus Chat Noir action figure in addition to Carapace and his shields of many colors.

"Maman!" he cries, jubilant, holding Chat Noir above his head so she can see. "Look! It has Chat Noir! You love Chat Noir!"

Blushing, Marinette pointedly avoids looking in the direction of the two moms of Hugo's school friends who've stayed for the party but smiles widely at her son. "I do. He's my favorite superhero of all time."

Hugo nods, turning to his dad where he sits beside him on the floor, struggling to snip the tiny plastic anchors holding each piece to the cardboard backing.

"See, Papa? He's Carapace's sidekick."

"Hey!" Adrien says indignantly. He looks up from the mess of cardboard and plastic in his lap as Marinette, Alya, and Nino laugh.

Nino, best bro that he is, chimes in. "Nah, little man, Chat Noir is no one's sidekick. He's way too brave and cool for that." He grins at Hugo and points first to the Carapace action figure on the coffee table and then to Chat Noir in his hand. "They're a team. Best friends and superheroes at the same time. That's why they're so awesome."

Hugo looks at the Chat Noir figure for a long moment. "Wow," he breathes. "Chat Noir is as cool as Carapace." He says it like a revelation that's rocked his entire worldview.

Alya sniffles and Marinette hands her a tissue.

"Okay, but Ladybug is still the coolest," Emma pipes up from Hugo's other side.

All the adults besides Marinette nod. Adrien reaches around Hugo to pat Emma's back.

"You're absolutely correct, kitten."

Marinette blushes again and Alya blows her nose.

Hugo tucks Carapace into the driver's seat of the Turtle-mobile with Chat Noir beside him as his passenger, racing the sports car across the rug toward his friends so they can play with his new toys, too.

Adrien looks from his son to his own best friend, and Nino gives him a thumbs up and a grin.

*****

Later, when the dishes are washed and their living room looks slightly less like a turtle habitat, Adrien sits on the sofa with a cup of tea and watches Hugo play with his new, treasured birthday gifts. The Shell-ter Secret Hideout Super Bunker is open, its many accessories strewn around Hugo where he sits cross-legged, Carapace in his left hand and Chat Noir in his right.

"I'll protect you!" "Carapace" cries, Hugo's voice pitched to sound brave and true but still carrying his sweet child's tone.

"Thank you for keeping My Lady safe, Carapace!"

Adrien snorts a surprised laugh into his tea. "Chat Noir" speaks in a husky growl, though Hugo gives him a note of cheery confidence, as though he truly appreciates Carapace's brave deeds, as though Chat Noir can take the decisive cataclysmic swing knowing his beloved partner is safe from harm.

And honestly, Hugo has the right of it. Adrien wonders how his son could possibly know that this exact scene - with slightly different dialogue, of course - played out many times over, years before he was born.

Hugo mimics the sound of an explosion, then an "oof!" as Chat Noir falls to his back but springs up again quickly. Just as Carapace returns to Chat's side with a confident, "What can I do to help save the day, Chat Noir?", Marinette's hands snake around Adrien's shoulders from behind, surprising him.

He sets his mug on a coaster on the end table and wraps his hands around her forearms, pulling her in closer. Leaned over the back of the sofa, she nuzzles his cheek with hers before pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"I think we pulled off the dream turtle party pretty well, don't you, Chaton?"

"Oh, we turtle-y did."

Adrien delights in the huff of laughter she exhales against his cheek. That might be the most overused pun in the house, but sometimes it still lands just right. They watch Hugo play, matching grins making their cheeks press closer together.

"Looks like that was one shell of a gift, eh?"

He swoons dramatically, his head falling to the back cushion of the sofa so he looks at Marinette upside-down. "My Lady, you know what it does to me when you pun."

"Oh, I do," she says, completely unapologetic, and boops his nose.

He just has to lean up to kiss her because, well, she's so beautiful and he loves her so much and she's right there.

They break apart a moment later when they hear Emma call for Marinette from her bedroom. She plants one last upside-down kiss on his forehead and lets her hands drift slowly across his chest and shoulders as she stands.

She gives him a wry smile. "Duty calls."

"Hmmm," he hums thoughtfully, picking up his tea and taking another sip. "And here I thought her name was Emma."

Marinette groans at him as she walks away, and the sound catches Hugo's attention.

"Papa? Will you play superheroes with me?"

Of course. Always. I will never, ever be too busy for my kittens, he thinks.

"Sure, buddy," he says instead.

Finishing his tea in one big gulp, he slides from the sofa and scampers on hands and knees like a giant cat to where his son is playing. Hugo giggles at his dad's ridiculousness.

Adrien takes stock of the many accessories scattered around the play set and asks, "What are Chat Noir and Carapace up to today?"

Hugo explains the situation, the bad guy's motives, and what the heroes need to do to save Paris from disaster. Adrien listens carefully. Looking up at him with green eyes that match his own, big and wide and crinkled at the corners with his happy smile, Hugo offers the Chat Noir action figure to his dad.

"Will you be Chat Noir, Papa? He's Carapace's best friend in the world and they need to work together to save the day."

Adrien cradles the action figure in one hand and gently pats the pocket where Plagg hides with the other. His kwami presses a paw against his chest in return. Overwhelmed, all he can do is grin at Hugo and try not to cry.

"It would be my greatest honor," he vows grandly, holding up a hand in oath. "I purr-omise to be the best hero I can be. Cat's honor."

Hugo laughs. "You said honor twice."

"So I did. That's because it's very important."

His son nods solemnly, then reaches for Carapace's super jet. He places the hero in the cockpit and flies the jet around his head, making zooming noises.

"Are you ready, Chat Noir? I'm coming to pick you up!"

The jet has only one seat, but that doesn't seem to bother Hugo. Adrien readies the tiny plastic baton in Chat Noir's hand and uses it to vault from his own knee into the imaginary sky over Paris.

"Meow-velous!" he crows, delighted. "This cat is ready to be whiskered away in your very realistic jet! Allons-y, my turtle friend!"

Hugo giggles, Adrien's heart melts, and they set off on a grand adventure together.

#domestic fluff #dadrien #mominette #hugo loves turtles #and carapace #and uncle nino loves it #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #adrienette #future fic #family fluff #thanks for the idea sketchy! #gift fic #ml fanfiction #ml fanfic #ml #miraculous ladybug #my writing