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megalony · 1 day

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Resemblance- Part 3

Okay, here is the third instalment of my new Evan Buckley series, thank you all so much for the lovely feedback so far. I hope you will all like this next part.

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Part 2

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Summary: Evan brings (Y/n) along to the bachelor party and his sister's wedding to introduce her to his family. But when (Y/n) is introduced to Eddie, she resembles someone he used to know. And he can't help himself.

Enjoy.

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"Who's Shannon?"

Tremors continued to rattle through (Y/n)'s body and she couldn't lift her eyes above the level of Evan's collar bone.

She couldn't look him in the eyes. She couldn't bare to see the agony, frustration and pure anger swirling in his eyes, despite knowing none of it was aimed at her. Just knowing she had caused all of those emotions made (Y/n) feel worse than she had ever felt in her life.

What had she done? She had destroyed Evan's friendship with the one person who was always there for him through thick and thin. The only person Evan could rely on for anything, other than Maddie. She knew Evan saw Bobby as his father figure and that caused them to have a few differences and disputes over the years, but Eddie was more than a brother to Evan. He was like another part of him. They were blood brothers. And now (Y/n) had gone and ruined that friendship.

(Y/n) moved her arms to wrap them around her chest as if she was giving herself a consoling hug, but she couldn't hide the wince that flashed across her face when she moved her left wrist. Eddie had most likely sprained it.

Evan lifted his gaze from his phone and looked across at (Y/n) while he continued to type out a message without looking at the screen. Something he had grown very good at over the last few years.

He leant his hips back against the dining chair while his teeth sank down in his lower lip.

Suddenly, the few feet of distance between them felt like an ocean, and Evan didn't like it. He didn't want this space between them that had happened when he started storming around the apartment in a rage while (Y/n) simply watched him.

"You know her, don't you? Evan, your face fell when I asked who she was… why does Eddie think I'm her?"

She had seen it in his eyes the moment she asked who Shannon was. She had seen the light disappear from Evan's pupils and the way his back prickled and his shoulders tensed. He became defensive almost immediately. Things clicked into place and (Y/n) didn't have to tell Evan what had happened for him to piece it together.

Suddenly, he wasn't asking her if she had Eddie had had some sort of fight or an argument. Suddenly, he wasn't looking at her like he was worried Eddie was simply coming onto her. He assumed Eddie had hurt her. He assumed Eddie had pushed himself onto her and frightened her and worried her. That one name, Shannon, was all Evan needed to become pent up and enraged.

He had to know who she was and how important she was to Eddie. And (Y/n) had to know too. She had to know why she set Eddie off every time she was around him.

Something rumbled at the back of Evan's throat before he dragged a hand across his face.

He nodded and looked back down at his phone to the message he had hastily typed out to Tommy.

*Sorry, something's come up, can't make it tonight and Eddie probably won't either. If you see him keep an eye on him, he was in a state earlier.

Despite how much rage was circulating through Evan's mind and body, he couldn't help himself. He couldn't help but worry about Eddie, even after what he had just done.

He had to tell Tommy that he wasn't going tonight, it wouldn't be fair to leave him hanging because he didn't think Eddie was going to turn up either. But Evan was worried. He didn't know where Eddie was going or what he was going to do and in that state, Eddie might do anything. He might start a fight and get himself hurt or into trouble. He might get himself drunk to the point of excess. He might drink and drive. Anything was possible, and it worried Evan.

He wanted Tommy to know because then Tommy might find him or at least talk to him and make sure he wasn't going to do anything stupid.

Tossing his phone onto the table behind him, Evan slouched back into the chair again until the wooden back was pressing uncomfortably into his hips and creating a burning sensation beneath his skin.

He dragged both hands up and down his face, breathing into his palms to stop himself from going into a panic attack.

He let his chin flop down and both hands moved to grasp the chair behind him, steadying himself before he looked across at (Y/n). Realising she had taken a daring step closer to him.

"Shannon was Eddie's wife, they were together since they were teens. She's Chris's mum."

Stones started to sink into the pit of (Y/n)'s stomach and she leaned forward as if they were weighing her down towards the floor. She could feel the wheels turning in her mind and it caused tears to prickle in the corners of her already burning eyes.

"I th- I thought Chris's mum was dead?"

Evan's silence cut through (Y/n)'s heart and the hollow look in his eyes made her jaw drop.

Oh God. Oh no.

That was why Eddie kept saying he missed her. That was why he had been so stunned when they first met at the bachelor party. That was why he kept begging her to come home and telling her how much he and Chris missed her.

It wasn't because she was someone who had walked out on Eddie a long time ago or someone who lived far away or who didn't want to see him anymore. It was because she was physically gone, there was no essence of Shannon left. Eddie was grieving and recovering from her loss and now (Y/n) had walked in and awoken all of those dying feelings, bringing the embers back to life.

(Y/n) tightened her arm around her stomach while her hand moved to cover her mouth. She could feel her throat tightening and closing up and her stomach was telling her she was going to be sick.

"Baby-"

"Do I look like her?"

There was a turbulent look floating through Evan's eyes and his lips curled down and his nose scrunched up. He didn't want to answer that. He didn't want to even think about answering that. What kind of response could he give?

'Yes, you look a bit like my best friend's dead wife.'

'You resemble her, that's why my best friend went off the rails and hurt you.'

"A little." It was all Evan could say. He hadn't noticed. He had only met Shannon on a few occasions before she died and he didn't talk to her very much or spend a lot of time around her. They were passing acquaintances, that was all, but Evan had seen photos of her and the resemblance wasn't astounding or pain-stakingly obvious.

It was a small thing, the crease around her eyes, her smile and maybe one or two facial expressions that distantly looked like Shannon. If Evan hadn't noticed at first and even Chris hadn't noticed or said anything, then it couldn't be such an obvious reflection.

It was only striking to Eddie because of how deeply he loved Shannon and how much she was woven into his life and into so many of his memories.

Tears bled down her face and she closed her eyes, trying to ward off the burning sensation in her eyes from how much she had cried over the last hour since Eddie arrived and subsequently left.

She was desperate to drag her fingers through her hair and tug on the strands until they all came loose. She wanted to scratch her nails up and down her arms and lash out and scream and kick and thrash around the apartment. But all (Y/n) could do was lean against the kitchen counter for support. The same counter Evan had pinned Eddie up against.

"I should have stayed away." (Y/n) croaked desperately, unhooking her arm from around her waist to plant both her hands down on the counter.

"What?"

"He said he missed me." (Y/n) could feel the venom rising in her voice as she hung her head down and took shallow, shaky breaths. "He said I shouldn't have left, that I should come home! I- I should have stayed away, kept at a distance… I should have asked sooner w-who Shannon was."

Everything she should and could have done swirled around in (Y/n)'s mind until she was going dizzy.

Why didn't she ask Evan who Shannon was when Eddie first called her that? Why didn't she decide after he kissed her that she had to stay away? If she kept a firm distance between them, if she didn't let Eddie in tonight or if she let him in but kept at a distance from him, this might not have happened. If (Y/n) acted cold and rude towards Eddie instead of trying to be friendly, he might not have done this.

If she tried hard enough to be an enemy instead of a friend, Eddie wouldn't have felt like he was looking at his wife. He might have resented her, and resentment was better than whatever infatuation Eddie now had with her.

"What do you mean?" When Evan crossed the distance to stand beside her, (Y/n) frowned and stared up at him. "What do you mean, sooner? Has he done this before?"

The stones in her stomach started to grow heavy when she realised what she'd said. She'd given herself away. She told Eddie she wouldn't tell Evan. She promised herself she wouldn't tell him and upset him or cause any further problems between them. Now she'd ruined everything. Again.

Shudders rocked her frame when Evan's thumb and finger held her chin and tilted her head up so their gazes were once again interlocked.

"(Y/n), tell me. Has Eddie tried to come onto you before tonight?" The single tear that traced down her cheek had Evan's body pulling in on itself and his throat closed off when she nodded in his grasp. "What did he do?"

There was something almost menacing in Evan's voice and it made (Y/n) whimper. She didn't want to tell him. What good would that do? How was Evan knowing the details going to make this situation any better? It would only pit Evan against Eddie even more than this and ruin their friendship. That was the last thing (Y/n) ever wanted to do.

But Evan wouldn't let go of her chin and he wouldn't look anywhere else but into her watering eyes.

And he was using her name. He never called her by her name unless something serious was going on. He was forever using nicknames and pet names for her and that was the way (Y/n) liked it.

"At the wedding last week… he pinned me to the wall, he called me Shannon and kissed me. Evan he promised not to do it again-"

"That's- that's why you were so anxious when we left. Why the Hell didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to cause problems, and he said he wouldn't do it again! If I- if I knew who he thought I was, I would have told you." (Y/n) could barely catch a proper breath when Evan let go of her chin and moved to drag his fingers through his hair instead.

She would have told him if she knew Eddie thought he was talking to his wife. If she knew he thought she resembled Shannon, she would have put as much distance between them as possible. She would have told Evan or in the very least, mentioned something to Bobby since he seemed to be a father figure to both men. She wouldn't have been so forgiving if she knew why Eddie had come onto her in the way he did.

"Fuck! Christ, baby you should have told me either way. You can't hide something like that from me and pretend everything's fine. God knows what he might've done if I didn't come home- he had you up against the wall for fuck's sake. Did he hurt you tonight?"

Every thought imaginable started to run through Evan's mind at the speed of light until he felt like he was going to overload his brain.

If he knew Eddie had done this at the wedding he would of said something. He would of made sure Eddie knew in no uncertain terms that he couldn't come near (Y/n) again. He couldn't talk to her or approach her or go within ten feet of her until he had his shit sorted out. Evan would have told him to go talk to his therapist again and to be careful. He couldn't go down this path because it wasn't going to work out.

She was Evan's partner and even if she wasn't, trying to be with someone who looked like his dead wife was a frightening insult. He didn't want (Y/n) because of who she was or how smart and caring and funny and sweet she was. He wanted her because he wanted her to look and act like Shannon. He wanted his wife back in whatever form he could get her.

But he couldn't do this. Eddie couldn't go down this road.

(Y/n) gasped when Evan suddenly reached out and took her hands in his. He pulled her hands closer, frowning when she winced which caused him to look down at her wrists.

He noticed when he first stormed into the apartment that she had been cradling both arms to her chest. And he had seen the way she winced or tensed when she was moving one of her wrists.

It was swollen. Her left wrist was still shaking and the skin was tender, bruised and starting to swell up. But it was the nail marks scratched into her skin that made Evan's blood boil.

"He wouldn't let go," She whispered quietly, wincing when Evan dragged his thumb across the back of her wrist. "He kept telling me to come home."

"That's all he did? He didn't… Christ, he didn't do anything else, you swear it?"

"No." (Y/n) shook her head, trying to squash Evan's worries and rid them from his mind. Eddie hadn't gone any further. He didn't hit her or attack her or hurt her in any other way and he didn't force himself on her.

That was what Evan was worried about, (Y/n) could see it in his eyes. He didn't want to believe Eddie would do something like that, but Evan didn't recognise the man he had thrown out of their apartment tonight. He didn't know that frightening look in Eddie's eyes and it made Evan wonder what he was capable of.

What would he have done if Evan hadn't come home when he did? What state would (Y/n) of been in if Evan came home ten, fifteen, twenty minutes later?

"He's, he's never called me by my name. Evan, he doesn't see me, all he can see is her. It's like he's living in another world, a delusion."

It hadn't struck (Y/n) as odd at first when Eddie didn't say her name. It wasn't until he called her Shannon that she realised he'd never uttered her name before. Now she could see that whenever Eddie looked at her, something clicked in his mind and the world shifted. He looked at her and forgot where he was. He forgot what time he was living in and he forgot reality. All he could see was his wife and all he wanted was to do what he could to get her back.

He wasn't safe to be around when he was like that, and (Y/n) didn't know what to do or what Evan could do, either.

"Okay, it's okay."

The panic finally started to die down in (Y/n)'s chest when Evan submerged her in his embrace. Her face tucked back into his shirt like she had done earlier and her arms bound around his torso so tightly she almost squeezed all the air out of his lungs. She felt his fingers tangle into her hair and his other hand pressed down against her lower back, keeping her secured in his arms.

He kissed the top of her head and leaned his cheek against her hair as he tried to think. What could he do? How could he make this any better? How was he going to fix things with Eddie? Was there anything he could do to make this situation bearable for them all?

"Evan, I- I'm so sorry."

"What?" His brows furrowed and he tilted his head so both his mouth and nose were smothered in her hair. He continued to brush his thumb across the back of her neck and realised he had begun to sway them from side to side.

"Eddie's your family, I've come between you. I didn't tell you b-because I didn't want to ruin your friendship or the family you have, but now, I've-"

"Baby, baby stop. You haven't ruined anything, okay? Eddie has fucked this up but I'm gonna try and make it better. I'll talk to him, and to Bobby. But none of this is your fault and I don't want you to think like that or even dare think about distancing from me. You're my family too."

Evan had a feeling that (Y/n) might just try and step away from him. She might retreat and keep herself at arms length to try and let Evan repair things with Eddie.

It was clear she wasn't going to be able to be around Eddie anymore, at least not for a while. That meant Evan was going to have to distance from Eddie too and keep these two relationships separate.

Evan didn't want (Y/n) to try and pull away from him. He wanted her to stay right here, wrapped up in his arms where he knew she was safe and loved. (Y/n) was part of Evan's family too, she was just as important to him as Eddie and Bobby and Maddie. She was one of them and Evan was going to protect her and fight to keep her here with him.

He was going to sort this out. Somehow.

***

"You're in early, you pulling another double?" Eddie slung his bag off his shoulder and smiled as he walked into the locker room.

He rose a brow and glanced over at Ravi who was just finishing up getting into his uniform.

He moved towards his locker and placed his bag inside, reaching in for one of the newly washed shirts he had hanging up. But he looked around the locker when Ravi didn't answer him. Eddie could feel his brows knitting together in confusion when Ravi stared at him with a perplexed look.

Was he nervous? Why was he looking at Eddie like that? Out of all the people in the station, Eddie had been the one who didn't try and play tricks on Ravi or wind him up. He knew Ravi was always nervous around Bobby because he was Captain, and he was worried around Evan who was always trying to get him to do better and be better on shift. But not Eddie.

"No, I- I'm not on the B shift for the next two weeks… I swapped with Buck."

Those words sent knives striking through Eddie's chest and he could feel his heart seizing up in his chest.

What had Evan done? Who had he talked to? Why was he changing their shifts around?

They had routines, they worked together, almost every shift they had aligned together. They were always on the A shift and Ravi more often than not took the B shift because the latter shift meant more night shifts. And Ravi preferred nights, that was why they didn't often get to work with him.

"Why?" The dangerous tone in Eddie's voice had Ravi stepping back and looking around the empty room nervously.

He didn't want to say. He didn't want to repeat Evan's words that were still swirling around in his head from yesterday.

He could still hear the anger in Evan's voice and see the surprise on Bobby's face after Evan asked Ravi and Bobby for a chat in Bobby's office.

"I need a favour. I wanna be put on the B shift, just for a week or two. Can we swap?"

"Why?"

"Buck what's going on?"

"Ravi agreed so just switch the shifts, please?"

"I have to know the reason, Buck. If there's an issue I have to sort or be aware of-"

"Because if you don't I'm gonna rip Eddie's fucking head off."

A shudder tore down Ravi's spine at the memory. He could hear that gritty, low voice. He could see the rage in Evan's eyes and the panic written across Bobby's face before he agreed and dismissed Ravi for a private chat with Evan.

He didn't want to ask. He didn't want to know why his friend needed the swap. Ravi agreed, he would gladly help Evan out and change shifts, it didn't matter to him if he was now on the A shift, it would be a welcomed change. Just as long as he didn't get caught up in any drama or fights. He didn't want to be involved in whatever was going on here.

"Buck asked for a swap, I didn't ask why."

Eddie swung the locker door closed with such a thud that the locker itself bashed back into the wall and echoed around the whole station.

He left the locker room without another word and hurried into the main floor of the station, looking around for the person he had been avoiding for the last two days.

He hadn't called or messaged Evan. Not once. He had tried to give them both some space to calm down and he stupidly thought that Evan would be civil with him when they both came back on shift today. Clearly he thought wrong. He didn't think Evan would try and avoid him like this. He hoped they could talk and work things out.

He'd royally messed this up.

"Buck!" His voice boomed across the station floor when he spotted a familiar crop of sandy curls about to leave the station.

He stormed across to where Evan wasn't even turning in his direction, watching as Evan continued to walk off.

He had changed out of his uniform, giving away the fact that he had clearly just finished his shift rather than just starting it like he was supposed to start now, with Eddie. He was wearing slacks, a faded pair of trousers and a dark blue hoodie that, as per most of his clothing, was tight on the shoulders and very snug on the chest.

Evan didn't turn around until he felt a familiar hand on his shoulder and a rough grab that twisted him to the left.

His lips rolled together into a snarl and he huffed, shoving his phone back in his pocket while he dumped his bag on the floor. His head tilted back at an angle and he rose one brow, looking very distant and unamused as he stared down at Eddie.

"What?"

"You've swapped shifts, really? Can't we talk about this and work it out?"

"No." He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head with a dismissive tone. "I don't wanna talk to you, Eddie. I don't wanna be around you at all, not until you've sorted yourself out."

That was it. That was all Evan wanted to say on the matter. He didn't want to delve into this right now in the middle of the station. He knew they needed to talk, but not yet. Not while Evan still felt like he could happily smash his fist into Eddie's face and not feel an ounce of guilt about it.

It would be better if they kept their distance for a while and let each other simmer down. And Evan wanted Eddie to try and figure things out for himself, he wanted Eddie to talk to his therapist and work through this before they even tried to talk.

Bobby agreed. Once Evan explained the situation yesterday, he told Evan space was a good idea and that they both had to calm down. And he told Evan in no uncertain terms that (Y/n) should stay clear of Eddie. She shouldn't try and clear the air or get him to apologise or try and get the boys back talking. She had to stay away if she wanted to help because she was a trigger for Eddie and he clearly couldn't help himself right now.

"Buck we need to talk."

"No."

"You can't just avoid me until you forgive me. I'm not doing this, we have to talk." Eddie gave Evan a rough shove before he could think better of it. He was aiming to push Evan towards the gym that was to their right, but all he did was infuriate Evan further.

Evan spun on his heels and knocked Eddie back three feet, chest heaving and rage pure and unfiltered in his eyes.

"I don't want to forgive you Eddie. There, you wanna talk? Go ahead. Tell me why I should forgive my best friend for terrorising my partner."

Evan took a step back before he growled when Eddie snatched his car keys from his hoodie pocket. He took a deep breath, calming himself down because he could see Chimney from the corner of his eye, watching them closely from the ambulance.

His neck cracked from left to right before he stormed into the gym after Eddie who put the keys on the bench at the back. He wasn't going to prevent Evan from leaving, he needed him in here so they could talk without an audience. And he somehow knew Evan wasn't going to leave their conversation half finished like this. Evan couldn't do that unless he wanted to go home and have this conversation with himself in a hundred different ways, wondering how it would have turned out and what he could of said.

"Talk." Evan demanded in such a shrill tone that it was almost a roar. He waved a hand out at his side to emphasise his patience that was fading and his will that was also wading away as the seconds ticked by.

"I didn't mean to hurt her, to hurt you. You have to believe me-"

"No I don't."

"Would you just listen?" Eddie snapped while his hands found their place on his hips and one leg leaned out to the side in such a sassy manner that Evan would have snorted if the anger wasn't directed at him.

But it was hard to listen when all Evan wanted to do was either run off and hide or yell at the top of his voice until Eddie understood. He had so much he wanted to say but no time or patience to stand here and say it. He wanted to talk, he wanted to listen, he wanted to run and he wanted to stay put. All together, all at once. All feelings combusting inside of him, one by one.

"I- God, Buck I don't know where to start. I saw her at the party and I just, I don't know, I felt whole and broken at the same time. She reminds me of Shannon, and I can't get over that, over her. What would you do if you thought you saw your wife after losing her four years ago?"

Evan waited another few seconds to make sure Eddie was finished before he contemplated how to respond to that.

"Okay… but if you felt like that, then you tell me. Or you go to Bobby or your damn therapist. Instead, you kissed my girlfriend, Eddie. You scared her, then you promised you wouldn't do it again. And then I come home and you've got her pinned against the wall. Do you even know what you might have done if I didn't come in when I did? Would you have hit her, would you shout at her or push her down or try and force yourself on her?"

Panic fluttered across Eddie's pupils and he visibly winced, pulling in on himself at the thought.

No. He wouldn't have done any of that… he hoped.

He couldn't truly answer that because he didn't know. It was like a veil came down over his mind and it wasn't Eddie in control anymore. He wasn't the type of man who would do any of that. He would never hit a woman or raise his voice or intentionally hurt or fight with a woman or a friend or someone he loved. But who he was that night wasn't the man he was right now. He couldn't control that change, and it frightened him.

"I miss Shannon." Something broke in his voice and if Evan was looking at this from an outside perspective, he would have broken too. He would have gave in and consoled Eddie and saw this through his eyes.

But Evan wasn't looking at this from the outside, and he couldn't see this through Eddie's eyes either. From his own perspective, that wasn't enough. Missing Shannon wasn't enough for Eddie to go and do what he did, Evan couldn't accept that.

"She's all I ever knew, the only person who got me, who I wanted to be with, and God took her. And now, it- Buck, it feels like you've took my chance to have her back and I know that's not true, okay? I know how wrong I am, but it's how I feel."

"But she's not your wife, Eddie, I haven't come along and ruined your marriage or taken your wife. Shannon's dead, okay? She's gone and you can't try and mould my girlfriend into Shannon's doppelganger."

"You've never lost someone you loved, Buck! You've never had to live each day without them and then see someone and think finally, they've come back to you. She's just like my Shannon-"

Evan's fist slammed against the wall, putting a rather large dint in the plaster and causing a violent thud to shudder through the station and catch a few people's attention.

"You can't even say her fucking name!"

A wide grin spread across Evan's face and he ran his fingers through his hair, looking up at the ceiling as he started to laugh condescendingly. How messed up was Eddie? How messed up was he to believe that Evan was going to go along with this mess? Did he believe Evan would see this from his point of view when he couldn't even be true to himself.

He couldn't say (Y/n)'s name. She was right. Eddie couldn't see reality when he looked at her and even now, thinking about her blurred the lines between fantasy and reality and Eddie kept slipping into that dream. He kept seeing his wife instead of the completely different girl in front of him.

"Her name is (Y/n) and she's nothing like Shannon, but you can't see that because you're fucked in the head."

It was Eddie's turn to laugh before his lips curled into a cynical smile and he shook his head as if he didn't believe what he was hearing.

He lashed out and sent the heel of his boot rocketing into the bench, watching with glee as it toppled over and crashed into the stack of weights in the corner. The collision caught some more attention and he could of clapped when he saw Bobby aiming their way.

Just great. That was all they needed. Another person who wouldn't take Eddie's side. Even when Bobby knew what it was like to lose his wife and feel like the world was ending. Bobby would take Evan's side just like he always did because he was closer to him. And Bobby had his happy ending. He had Athena and Evan had (Y/n); but who did Eddie have?

Who was left for Eddie to love and be loved by? Who could Eddie be with when everyone seemed to leave him?

"Here we go, here's your back up come to save you. Go on, tell him what I've done. Get me put on leave 'cos I'm so fucked up. Get him to talk to me because even Bobby gets a second chance after killing fifty people but I can't have her because she's yours-"

"Shut the fuck up Eddie."

"You know what, I'd love to know what would have happened if you didn't come home that night. Maybe I'd of gotten lucky with your girl."

Evan lunged. Before he registered what he was doing, his right arm curved around Eddie's waist and he rammed his shoulder into the middle of Eddie's chest, level with his sternum. He pushed, forcing all of his weight forward until Eddie was toppling backwards and landed with a harsh thud on the polished floor with Evan's weight crushing down on him.

He reared back just enough to sit up and slam his fist down against Eddie's nose. Revelling in the way Eddie's head smashed into the floor and blood started to pour down his face.

"Enough!" Bobby's stern demand coursed through the air and before Evan could slam his fist down on Eddie again, he felt a pair of arms slip beneath his armpits. "Buck, get off him!"

Bobby shuffled back and dragged Evan along with him who kicked his feet out as a violent growl passed his lips.

He wanted to fling his arms out. He wanted to hit Bobby and tell him to get off so he could go for round two of attacking the stranger he didn't think he knew anymore. But he let Bobby stand him back on his feet and pin him against the wall with one firm hand in the centre of his chest. He held his arms out at his sides as a sign of surrender while Chimney rushed ahead and helped Eddie onto unsteady feet with a hand plastered beneath his bloody nose.

"I thought this was why I changed your shift pattern?" The condescending tone in Bobby's voice faded out as he stared across at Evan and noticed the pain hiding behind his eyes. "Buck, go home. Eddie, get in my office. Anything like this happens again on shift, I'll suspend both of you, now move."

Leaning over, Evan snatched his keys from the floor where they landed when Eddie kicked the bench over. He swirled them round on his thumb while his chest heaved and his head felt like it was full of air.

He was leaving. He was going home to be with his girl. And he would try to forget that this had happened, but he knew he wouldn't be able to. He couldn't see a way past this point.

What were they going to do?

#evan buckley #911 imagine #imagine #evan buckley x reader #pregnant! reader #evan buckley imagine #buck x reader #buck imagine

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thissccounthatesfascists · 10 hours

Text

TL asleep? cool.

(long post, strap in)

i wanna talk about colin's wet dream. that was the most demisexual shit i have EVER seen. there's not even any sex. its just a romanticized, elevated version of their first kiss. its colin's subconscious wanting to replay the moment he fell in love with his best friend in the Most way possible.

lets break it down:

we got the same location of their first kiss. Complete with mood lighting and a fog machine. It’s giving pride and prejudice 2005

Penelope comes out (looking gorgeous, of course) to their rendezvous spot, which has been previously agreed on.

colin thanks her for meeting him, she doesn't know why he's asked her to come

he confesses his feelings for her

she reciprocates (this is the important part of this to me. ) her wanting him, makes him want her more (do you see where the demisexual colin energy is coming from? do you understand?)

they make out

he kisses her neck as she pants his name over and over (see my point above re: her wanting him makes him want her more)

he wakes up, absolutely shook

this is an idealized reimagining for colin: during their first kiss he was basically in shock, his new personality chokes on the reality and vulnerability of the moment

in the book he talks about how he tries to think of something witty to say but finds that no words are necessary, and there's no combination of witty banter or suave bravado that could help in that moment. the rake persona that he has put on up to this point absolutely fails him. but here, in this dream, words are crucial, the declarations of love are why its sexy! (demi colin is canon idc idc)

and its so important that this wet dream, the idealized version of this scenario happens like this. because we've also seen colin having sex with sex workers (and luke newton has talked about this) but his energy in those scenes is very detached, very focused on him and his pleasure with zero connection to the women he's with. he has two different threesomes (if you can even call the second one that, he's barely even looking at them) with four different women and we know nothing about these girls. they don't even get names. they don't matter, and its simply not. as. good. as the feeling of kissing pen. there is no connection

which is, i think, why he taps out during the threesome in ep4. he tries to go back to the devil-may-care attitude toward sex and intimacy that he had before kissing pen, he tries to return to that mask he put on of "the rake" and it just doesn't work! he feels nothing! in fact he feels disdain for the position he's in and the choices he's made!

the threesome in ep4 mirrors the outburst he has later at the club really well. like he's so frustrated with this position he's put himself in, the men he's surrounded himself with. he literally says "none of you are gentlemen!" "you're actually gross and disrespectful!"

a line that i love is :

"... it is tiring, is it not? The necessity imposed on us to remain cavalier about the one thing in life that holds genuine meaning. Do you not find it lonely?"

and they laugh! in! his! face! because these are men that feel perfectly fine sleeping with strangers and bragging about their "conquests" to their buddies

but that is not who colin is! he's still very young. and his experience with marina (who tried to seduce him and it didn't work, imo bc he just didn't feel that passion, that love that makes his relationship with penelope so different) has left him jaded, but not nearly as jaded as he wants to believe. even if he wants to be casual about romance and sex, he just isn't. this man proposed to marina after knowing her for what? a couple weeks? He is an All or Nothing type of guy. He has that Bridgerton 'when i fall in love i will only ever talk about my spouse' Gene

Now: some costuming details that i love:

Her hair:

(i know this is a stretch but go with me here) her hair is in slightly tighter curls than we've seen this season, which to me seems like a nod to colin liking (or at least not minding) her hair the way it was in previous seasons and maybe not caring as much as we might think about her transformation. but its still down and flowy and in line with her new style

let's talk about this! dress! (it has genuinely been keeping me up at night)

the sleeves seem much more similar to the silhouettes of her costumes in previous seasons, not necessarily in shape but in style

the sleeves are bulkier, compared to this season's costumes, which while they might have been the same size and shape, they are made of much lighter material, giving the silhouette a softer, more mature feeling.

compare it to this dress from s3 ep2: it looks very similar with the sleeve shape and the floral appliqués, but in the dress in the image above, the appliqués are much more obvious, closer to penelope's style under her mother's tastes

the point i'm trying to make here will be made more clear in a sec. what I am NOT trying to say that colin prefers her in her little girl dresses with loud designs, bright colors, and silly hairdos. he just associates those bigger, brighter, louder style choices with penelope.

And he has always liked Penelope. Even when he didn’t take her seriously as a potential partner, he always saw her as an equal. He never made fun of her silly dresses and questionable hair choices.

This has nothing to do with Colin but i feel like i should point it out:

there is something to be said about how her muted pastel color palette along with the more demure style that she has adopted shows that she is trying to Show Up with this social season, but as a wallflower, she is shy. she's always hated those brightly colored dresses her mother put her in, because no matter how close to the wall she clung, she was always visible. she was always vulnerable to ridicule.

but i don't think colin knows or realizes this because why would he think critically about the specific style changes she's made. and he probably doesn't really make the connection of the influence her mother has on her clothing. and around him, pen has never seemed all that shy. she's been confident and witty. if you pair her personality that shines around colin with her louder outfits, it seems more congruous

(take the scene from season 2 where we get the line "My purpose shall set me free") this is a side of penelope that no one, not even eloise!, sees

what his subconscious knows is that he associates pen with vibrant, textured, and often 3-dimensional outfits, and his subconscious creates a dress that fits her new style, with a little more of that featherington flair thrown in.

the fucking tie in front: i feel like this is a very clear reference/ foreshadowing to the mirror scene

for those of you who haven't read the book, the mirror scene doesn't actually happen, but colin tells penelope about a fantasy he has about touching her in front of a mirror

this is a pretty small offhand comment made while they're having sex for the first time but amongst book fans the scene has become pretty fleshed out i think, with fanfics especially

because the idea that it touches on is colin fantasizing about penelope seeing herself the way he does, as sexy and desirable (he seriously cares about her pleasure so much its sickening, I'm actually sick)

and although Book Colin doesn't mention it, the idea of him undressing her in front of a mirror has become a popular story set-up

i think the tie in the front sort of plays on the time period sensibilities of propriety: this is a time where in "good" society an unmarried man and woman would never touch skin to skin, its why all the women wear gloves most of the time. its why the scenes in season 1 between daphne and simon play on the excitement of removing the gloves: its a taboo thing

this is unrelated to this post but i need an explanation as to why pen isn't wearing gloves in a lot of her scenes this season, like the scandal that that would cause??? I'm assuming its representative of her growing into her sexuality; and bridgerton is a fantasy, not a historical nonfiction, but like some consistency would be nice guys bc i was so confused abt all the skin-on-skin contact happening. even with Francesca and Lord Samadani WHEN HE KISSES HER BARE HAND I WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE FOR HER. especially because of all the glove-related tension in s1. but i digress.

so the tie in front is sort of a dare. even though its clearly an addition, and untying wouldn't actually remove her dress, its her (colin's subconscious version of her anyway) way of saying: "you could untie this, you could undress me if you wanted to" "i love you" "i want you"

and i think that's beautiful. this season is great and i will die on this hill.

If you've made it this far, congrats! you're just as feral as me! come and gnaw on the drywall with me while i post fanfics inspired by this season: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55988977/chapters/142190584

chapters 1+2 of my new fic are up

photos are from : https://www.cap-that.com/bridgerton/302/index.php?image=bridgerton3x02_1502.jpg

#colin bridgerton #bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #penelope featherington coded #polin #bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton s3 #bridgerton meta #costume design #demisexuality #demisexual representation #demisexual colin bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 analysis #romancing mister bridgerton #romancing mr. bridgerton #adaptation analysis #some historical context analysis as a treat for me specifically

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portagas-chan · 2 days

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Platonic Yandere Doflamingo and teen daughter reader

Overprotective Dad

Platonic Yandere Doflamingo x Daughter Reader

I tried my best. I hope you like it!

Doflamingo adored you and spoiled you rotten because you were his only child. His only daughter. To him, you were the most important person in his life and no one could prove him wrong. He will kill anyone who hurt you physically and mentally.

There was a time when you were a child and a maid accidentally spilled hot tea on you. You cried because the tea felt so hot on your skin and he quickly called a doctor and soothe you. After that incident, you noticed one thing. You never saw that maid again.

You were too young to understand back then but now you do. You turned 18 a few months ago. You were happy because you thought Doflamingo would finally let you leave the castle and explore the outside world. You thought you could finally travel the seas. That was your dream.

However, during your 18th birthday, you asked him if you could become a pirate like him and travel the seas but before you could even finish your sentence, he cut you off.

"No," just that simple one word was able to crush your dreams in an instant.

"Why?" You argued.

"The outside world is very dangerous, [Y/n]. How many times do I have to tell you that? There is no way you can become a pirate. This castle is the only safe place for you."

You furrowed your eyebrows, "But dad, I wanted to become a pirate like you. I just-"

He raised his voice, "[Y/n]! I don't want you to become a pirate like me. You know, I hate repeating myself. I don't want to hear about this topic again! Do you understand me?"

"Yes," You muttered.

"Now go to your room!"

That was the first time your dad had ever raised his voice at you. You left crying and feeling dejected.

But you were determined to leave. You loved your dad but sometimes he is just too much. You heard that he had to attend the Warlord meeting and will be back in a few days. You took this opportuinity to sneak out and it seems like luck was on your side because it was successful.

"Where is [Y/n]? Where did she go?!" Diamante panicked.

"I think she left. I checked every room in this castle and she is nowhere to be found," Baby 5 sighed.

"Fuck!" Diamante cursed.

"Doffy is going to be so mad," Trebol said.

"We have to tell him."

And they did. They told him about the terrible news through the den den mushi. He was flying in the sky heading towards Marineford but the news made him paused and he was thankful that he was still near dressrosa.

Doflamingo did not take it well. His frown deepened, his veins popped out on his forehead and he looked like he will kill anyone who gets in his way. Abandoning his meeting, he wasted no time and flew at the fastest speed back to Dressrosa.

An hour later, he arrived at his castle to see you tied up in your room. He glanced at Diamante, "Where did you find her?"

"Green bit. Thank god she didn't go too far. If we were a little late, she would have been gone for good."

He narrowed his eyes at Diamante's words, "Untie her."

Diamante nodded, obeying his orders.

"Fufufu~ You are very persistent, my daughter," He walked towards you with a grin. You could tell that even though he was grinning, he was very angry inside.

You were scared of what was going to happen next. You were born isolated from the world and now you sneaked out but got caught. There was no way he was going to continue let you live like you used to.

"I'm sorry, dad but I won't do it again! I promise!" You apologized hoping he would let it slide this time.

"Sure but can I trust you? I don't think I can. Last time, you asked me about this and I told you to never bring it up again. You said you won't but now look at what you did. You crossed the line, [Y/n]," He was no longer smiling. He looked upset, mad and most of all, disappointed in you.

You stayed silent because he was right. You lied to him but how could you not? You were getting tired of being restricted from leaving the castle.

When he saw that you have given up on going against him, his signature grin returned to his face.

"Starting from now on, you will be locked up in your room. And for extra precautions, I will have to put these bracelets on you" He took them out of his pocket.

"What?" You were confused. Bracelets for extra precautions?

Doflamingo took your hand and put on the bracelets on both of your wrists, "They will explode if you leave this castle."

You froze in place. Your eyes widened as you looked at your dad in fear and despair.

Doflamingo grinned and hugged you.

"Don't worry, [Y/n]. In this world, I will be the only one who loves you and care for you. I am the only one that will always be by your side. And that is why you can never leave your dad. Fufufu~"

#one piece x reader #one piece x y/n #one piece #doflamingo x reader #donquixote doflamingo #doflamingo one piece #op doflamingo #yandere doflamingo #doffy #doffy one piece #yandere one piece

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bethanydelleman · 9 hours

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do you have any theories on why wickham turned out the way he did? his background sounds humble but not dirt poor as i know steward was a really valued job at the time. and as the elder mr. darcy liked him, he probably had a better life than plenty of boys. correct me if i'm wrong but i don't recall any mention of a mom or siblings, so darcy was probably his main childhood companion. it's just horrible to think that over the years he went from seeing darcy as a friend to someone he could ruin. and he was prepared to ruin georgiana's life, not just take all her money but cause a scandal so she might not ever get married again. and if darcy hadn't found lydia he'd probably just leave her where she was with no way of getting home and destroyed the bennets. like why? everyone was nothing but nice to him his whole life and all he does is hurt them and enjoy doing it. when you think about it kind of sounds evil.

From what I understand, Wickham was a failure of a system whereby a rich person would choose someone poorer to patronize. We can see other examples of this in Emma (Jane Fairfax & Harriet Smith) and especially Mansfield Park (Fanny & William Price).

The idea was that the rich would find someone worthy of improvement, sponsor their education, and give them the ability to raise into the gentry class. This sounds like what Mr. Darcy Sr. tried with Wickham, but in this case it was a failure. What ended up happening isn't that Wickham was grateful, but he ended up feeling entitled to the life of a Darcy. The novel's implication is that Wickham had a bad character, which education could not improve, and that Mr. Darcy Sr. was deceived in because Wickham had a veneer of decency.

From Darcy's Letter:

Mr. Wickham is the son of a very respectable man, who had for many years the management of all the Pemberley estates, and whose good conduct in the discharge of his trust naturally inclined my father to be of service to him; and on George Wickham, who was his godson, his kindness was therefore liberally bestowed. My father supported him at school, and afterwards at Cambridge; most important assistance, as his own father, always poor from the extravagance of his wife, would have been unable to give him a gentleman’s education. My father was not only fond of this young man’s society, whose manners were always engaging, he had also the highest opinion of him, and hoping the church would be his profession, intended to provide for him in it. As for myself, it is many, many years since I first began to think of him in a very different manner. The vicious propensities, the want of principle, which he was careful to guard from the knowledge of his best friend, could not escape the observation of a young man of nearly the same age with himself, and who had opportunities of seeing him in unguarded moments, which Mr. Darcy could not have.

Wickham's account:

“We were born in the same parish, within the same park; the greatest part of our youth was passed together: inmates of the same house, sharing the same amusements, objects of the same parental care."

In Mansfield Park, Sir Thomas talks about how difficult it will be to maintain the distinction between his daughters and Fanny, their adopted niece, and when I think about how Wickham turned out, I think this is meant to be taken seriously (even though Sir Thomas and Mrs. Norris screwed up massively):

“There will be some difficulty in our way, Mrs. Norris,” observed Sir Thomas, “as to the distinction proper to be made between the girls as they grow up: how to preserve in the minds of my daughters the consciousness of what they are, without making them think too lowly of their cousin; and how, without depressing her spirits too far, to make her remember that she is not a Miss Bertram. I should wish to see them very good friends, and would, on no account, authorise in my girls the smallest degree of arrogance towards their relation; but still they cannot be equals. Their rank, fortune, rights, and expectations will always be different. It is a point of great delicacy, and you must assist us in our endeavours to choose exactly the right line of conduct.”

Fanny feels grateful for what the Bertrams give her, even though it's scraps of a real education. Wickham ends up feeling entitled, even though he is "liberally bestowed" and that may have been the problem. He was treated too similarly to Darcy and felt that he was a Darcy, only to find out the patronage didn't go as far as he wanted.

Wickham comes off to me as one of those people who is ALWAYS innocent in his own mind, someone else is always the cause of his misfortunes (he's like Willoughby in that respect). So when he tells Elizabeth about how he lost his inheritance, I think he believes what he is saying. He does think Darcy cheated him somehow even though he was in the wrong. Darcy becomes the tyrant because Wickham refuses to be the villain of his own story.

In addition, I don't know if he would have seen Darcy as a friend. Darcy is one of the few people who can see through Wickham and a con man would hate that. Wickham's dislike of Darcy may well have started because he hates that Darcy can perceive and judge the real him.

#wickham #pride and prejudice #jane austen #question response

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crypticpuffin · 3 days

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To be or not to be: make your choice

A rant on John Kramer’s philosophy

(art by James Wan)

The way Dea Matrona said,

Do we all live just to exist?

That Shakespeare wrote,

But that the dread of something after death,

The undiscovered country from whose bourn

No traveler returns, puzzles the will

And makes us rather bear those ills we have

Than fly to others that we know not of?

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all.

And just the way that no matter their circumstances, no matter how painful the obstacles, every single jigsaw victim chose life despite the excruciating pain it would inevitably bring, now and in the future, even if they didn’t succeed. Not a single one of them accepted death if there was even the smallest chance they could survive, no matter how miserable their life afterwards would be. And they didn’t even seem to know why other than just a need, a desperate desire to keep going— but that wasn’t enough.

Live or die. Make your choice.

To truly choose life is to realize life means more than just to exist. It means to be. If you think, if you are aware, if you are awake, therefore you are. Therefore you can be, you can truly cherish life rather than simply exist. I think that’s what John Kramer was trying to show people, in the most twisted and violent way possible, that there was another way. And the only way to get there was to truly make the conscious choice to go beyond existing and really live. The only way to help people is by letting them help themselves, and he took this lesson the worst way possible and tried to force people’s eyes open, to make them see by the most violent means available to him. But of course, the only thing he succeeded in doing was breaking the people he supposedly wanted to help.

Maybe conscience does make cowards of us all, not in the sense that staying alive is cowardly, but that simply existing without actively choosing life is not really living in the truest sense. Maybe it’s not that death is sleep and life is staying awake no matter how tired we are, but that a certain form of life is more like sleepwalking than actually living— a facsimile of what we imagine death to be, rather than really living. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from the Saw series, it’s the fact that the choice to truly live is seldom simple. And it’s not something that can be taught through violence or force, which is why Jill Tuck was on such a much better track than her husband (at least at first). He stole her philosophy, twisted it, and hurt people with it— and subsequently became much more famous than she ever would have been, ensuring she would always be known as his wife rather than a person in her own right.

The weight of her soul and all the others he broke, living or dead, rests on his shoulders. He did not help anybody. He merely killed, tortured, and misled— he was a hypocrite whose continued harm against humanity outlived him. That’s why I think another important thing I learned from Saw is this: no matter how important the original lesson, it can be twisted beyond recognition— and if forced on others, it will fail to help anyone. At the very least, you cannot force someone to fix themselves— you can only try to help them help themselves, like Jill tried to do. That’s all any of us can do in the end.

Fuck John Kramer. Jill Tuck deserved everything and no one can change my mind.

#saw #john kramer #hamlet #philosophy #jill tuck #alan says stuff #I know I should shut up occasionally #but I just had Thoughts and needed to share them #tw torture mention

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ygodmyy20 · 2 days

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Opps I've been thinking about Teru during confession arc again. Opps opps opps here i go down the hill come join me~

This meta has no strong throughline I'm just. Thoughts. Right now. I wrote this weeks ago and never posted it.

Note this may not be super on point or a perfect analysis, I’m just rambling

Been thinking about how during confession arc, everyone who stood up for Mob, stood up for him because they cared deeply about him in their own way. Touchirou wanted to pay him back for his kindness. Reigen needed to be open with his student. Ritsu had to accept his brother for who he is.

Teru is Mobs friend. But he doesn't, at this point in the story, have the same long-term friendship/relationship like Ritsu or Reigen have with Mob. He has the same need to repay Mob as Touichirou does but it's...hm, it's different.

Teru nearly gets himself killed for another person whom he cares so deeply about.

Is it because Teru has a crush on him?

...Perhaps. At this point I’d argue it’s not a crush but still an infatuation with Mob. Which can be a crush, but I don’t think he forms a crush until the pedestal is broke. At this point he still sees Mob as better than him.

Mob is also the only true friend Teru (from what we know) has had.

….

If Teru loses Mob, who else does he have? Ritsu maybe, and Shou, and maybe Reigen, but those friendships are still so new.

No, Mob is different. Mob is perfect, amazing, powerful--Mob is his only friend that knows the most "true" parts of Teru.

Teru is willing to die for Mob.

And I both love and hate that. I have a lot of mixed feelings about characters being willing to die for another and that is my own personal situation

Teru cares so much that he is willing to put his life on the line for Mob and that is something I think they will have to unpack. Just as friends or if they get together romantically.

(Honestly everyone is willing to die for Mob...... Reigen, Ritsu, Touichirou---they all see themselves as not worth it. That the best thing they can do in this situation (initially) is give up their life for this person. But they all realize through that they can't do that. They can't.)

This is my personal two cents: Loving someone does not mean throwing your life away for them. Because then you lose yourself. And what are you left with? Loving someone does mean stepping up for them, being there for them, making sacrifices for them. But not losing yourself for them.

But I’m gonna get super real for a hot minute. As someone who has been there. It destroys your sense of self. Who are you when all you are, is the other person? I see Teru doing this. He doesn't have much to stand on who "Teru" is. So he throws himself in to protect Mob in the only way he knows he can.

Teru doesn’t think he is special at this point compared to Mob. Mob is the most important thing. Mob is his only friend. Mob is everything. Teru has everything to lose. He has found this one friend, this one connection in his life, and he will do anything to protect them. He is still trying to find himself. Right now all that he is, is Mob.

He loves Mob so so much in his own way, and through their fight he realizes the best thing he can do is not die for Mob or beat him, but to save the people around him. Teru takes a huge step towards who he as a person is.

Confession arc is Teru realizing he can’t give Mob what he wants. He can’t protect and he can't defeat him. Teru has to figure out who he is, not who he thinks he should be.

#mp100 meta #mp100 #teruki hanazawa #terumob #like i said the throughline here is vague and i don't have a strong message #I just #can't stop thinking about teru and how he sees himself as so much less than Mob #and how he was willing to die for Mob #god you could apply this to any of them #Reigen too #Reigen cares so much about this kid he is willing to die for him #Reigen knows himself though #Reigen just hates himself so much he is not willing to let it show #Teru doesn't even know himself #anyway um #caveat that this is just my thoughts #everyone can interpret things in the way they want to

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teecupangel · 24 hours

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Weird idea: Des gets dropped in the past, human or not, preferably with Altaïr (so he can be immortal and the problem can be passed on to Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton), and he can speak every single language past and future in the whole world perfectly, EXCEPT any that are linked to Arabic, Italian, or English.

(Linked meaning like, have common origins or descendants or have strong connections in any way that would allow a smart person, like Altaïr, to puzzle out what he’s saying. So like, he can only speak modern Korean, Gbaya languages, ancient Parahã, and those kinds of languages. Things Altaïr could never puzzle out with what he knows. He’d have to start from scratch.)

Cause like, it’s similar to the whole Desmond-just-straight-up-can’t-talk-for-such-and-such-reason, but it’s slightly more interesting. And plus it’d be funny if Desmond isn’t good at learning languages so he can speak all of these, but he has no basis whatsoever to learn Arabic, Italian, or English.

And as anyone who’s tried to learn a very different language will tell you, it’s way more complicated than you’d think.

(My fav would be if he’s even more limited and can only speak in whistle languages. Confusing people even more who haven’t ever even considered that a spoken language could use whistles)

I feel like the main point of this idea is to make Desmond suffer but I'm thinking Desmond wouldn't suffer all that much since we'll bring him to Altaïr who was raised in a time where a lot of different people with different languages mixed together in lands under their Brotherhood’s supervision.

I personally headcanon that Altaïr knows most languages used by the crusaders and the nearby lands as part of his whole ‘I’m an overachiever that would have probably had multiple PhD had I been born later in life” thing going on.

Of course, this doesn’t mean Altaïr would be fluent in all kinds of languages but, speaking from experience as a multilingual who isn’t fluent in all languages I can understand and speak to varying degrees of success, he would know what’s the most important ‘cheat’ he can use:

Context clues.

In this situation, Altaïr would try to understand Desmond’s language and they would start with the basics.

“I am Desmond.”

“You are Altaïr.”

“He is Malik.”

“She is Maria.”

From those three sentences, Altaïr would have a grasp of the words Desmond uses for “I”, “you” and if there is a difference between talking to a third person of differing gender.

And more importantly…

He gets a feel of what is the most common sentence structure.

He would tell Desmond to keep his sentences simple, even tell him to speak it as if he’s speaking to a child.

Altaïr has no shame of asking such a thing because this makes it easier for him to understand Desmond.

So they would start with common grammatical structures and then the most common words they would use or would see around them.

Of course, it’s not like Altaïr would understand all these in a span of a month or three. But he will definitely progress through it and they would have decades together considering how long Altaïr lived.

In this situation, learning Desmond’s language would become more or less common in the Brotherhood. Hell, they might even develop their own language which would be a mix of Desmond’s language and the main language used in Masyaf. Even even mix in a few words here and there from other languages that the Assassins used.

From there on, this fusion of a language would become the unofficial language of the Brotherhood (imagine that scene with the Parisian Council speak in Arabic would change to this language and Arno’s “???” expression because he hears some whistles but, at the same time, he kinda understands some of the words because he remembered his father used to speak the same language) and it’s one of the greatest secret of the Brotherhood.

… and it all started because Altaïr and Desmond liked to talk to one another about the most idiotic thing Abbas had done for the week and to complain about Malik working them to the bone XD

(This does mean that whenever someone speaks to Desmond, they do usually make use of most common and basic sentence structure.)

#i mean #you can also fuck ‘em up #by making it a language that you can drop particles to make it harder to understand from those unfamiliar with how it works #and still be understandable #like japanese XD #assassin's creed #ask and answer #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #desmond miles #altaïr ibn la'ahad

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anamoon63 · 2 days

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--- OC Deep Dive Questionnaire Tag ---

Thank you dear @wannabecatwriter for the tag! 🤗💗 Also a huge apology for taking so long to reply.

For this I chose Roderick Kingston, a very old sim of mine. (The Sims 3 of course). Roderick is, like Patrick Orbison, one of my oldest sims, the first one I made when the Night Life expansion came out.

Roderick was as important to me as many other sims in my generational games, and, even when I created him before the Generations EP, he had a very large family of four generations.

Why did I choose him, having so many relatively new and more popular sims? Well, because during the time I was caring for my family in their illness I only had a little window of time at night to play The Sims, if I wasn't too tired. So I wanted it to be a free gameplay, mostly to distract myself, some where I didn't have to write, or pose, or take pictures. So I picked this old 2011 save (named The Kingstons), and well, I did take pictures while I played, lol, but nothing to use in any particular story. I played it exclusively for fun.

Currently, Roderick is an elder, and a grandpa, though he refuses to admit that he's old because, like almost every famous musician, he's vain and does not accept that time has gone by. So, takes exaggerated care of his physique, especially his face, and, though he clearly isn't young anymore, he always looks quite good for his age. (This is in part because I create my own elders using the sim adult stage and a lot of costume makeup, since I've always thought that EA elders don't look exactly like real life elders, especially not like elder celebrities like Roderick).

Anyway, without further ado, here is my most ancient sim, and one of my very favorites. (I know I say this about almost every sim of mine I post, hahaha).

RODERICK KINGSTON

What uncommon/common fear do they have?

A fear that is common among vain people like Roderick: fear of the passage of time, that is, of getting old.

Do they have any pet peeves?

Photographers and paparazzi, because he is afraid of having his picture taken from a bad angle. He likes to control which photos of him are published and which are not. (Like the ones in this post, lol).

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

Cologne, newspapers and his double bass.

What do they notice first in a person?

Their manners and their clothes, if they are women, he checks to see if they are pretty.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

Quite high, maybe 7 or 8, but he has his limits.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

Definitely flight mode. He doesn't like arguments, and he doesn't like to look bad in public.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

Roderick was an only child but is the patriarch of an extended dynasty of celebrities.

What animal represents them best?

A fox (because the fox is associated with creativity, passion, wisdom, and charm, (among other things) and these are some of Roderick's characteristics.

What is a smell that they dislike?

Hates the smell of cheap cologne or perfume.

Have they broken any bones?

Never, fortunately. And I don't think he'd like how he'd look with casts on his limbs.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

Attractive, charismatic, somewhat conceited but friendly in general.

Are they a night owl or a morning bird?

Night owl, of course.

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

He hates the taste of cheap fridge in his food. Loves the taste of well-prepared grilled salmon.

Do they have any hobbies?

Writing and blogging.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises?

Roderick loved surprise parties when he was young, nowadays they are no longer his favorite, mainly because birthdays make him feel older, but he appreciates a good party.

Do they like to wear jewelry?

Not really, just his watch, (not an ostentatious one) and his wedding ring. Even though he has remarried, he still wears the one he wore when he was wed to his late wife Tiara Angelista.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

His handwriting is super neat, just like him.

What are two emotions they feel the most?

Love (for music, and his family); and embarrasment. He hates to make a fool of himself, he also suffers when his reputation is threatened.

Do they have a favorite fabric?

Anything that is comfortable and not cheap.

What kind of accent do they have?

He's from Bridgeport, so, Bridgeport accent, kind of like a New Yorker, I guess.

BONUS PICS:

Roderick back in 2011 vs. Roderick in 2024.

You can tell I didn't have much CC then, nor a proper skin, but I had a blast playing with him back when. Today Roderick isn't young anymore, but he still walks around dressed in a tuxedo and he absolutely hates discovering new wrinkles in the mirror. He's kind of obsessed with looking young. He was once married to Tiara Angelista, long and happy marriage, they had three children, but then she died of old age. Later their son resurrected her (long story), though a bit late cause Roderick was already married to Suzy Strummer, who is much younger than him. They continue to be married to this day, but they haven't had any children (yet).

*Note: The Bridgeport save where Roderick lives is different from Patrick Orbison's save, which is more modern, although Pat also dates from quite some time ago, as he was also one of the first sims I made. Also, I know Late Night was released in 2010 but this save is from 2011.

Okay, that's all, we'll probably see more of Roderick and his family in the near future. (If I have the time). Thanks for reading this far. ❤️

I'm tagging: @matchalovertrait @camisulsul @kimmiessimmies @nocturnalazure @sparkilina @edyavtostopom @mysimsloveaffair @akitasimblr @expirisims @plaidisrad @silwermoon-sims @jennisimsand @happy-lemon and everybody else who wants to do this questionnaire. 😊

#tagged #my OCs #oc questionnaire #the sims 3 #bridgeport #kingston #roderick kingston #suzy strummer #the sims 3 late night #sims 3 simblr #ts3 gameplay #los sims de ana #anamoon63 sims

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one-of-tankhuns-neurons · 2 days

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would you mind elaborating on what you see in wut's wife? your insight and meta has been awesome!!

– @ahxiang

Sure thing! Thanks for the ask

I know Ja has not been the most relevant character to the storyline but I believe she has a really important role in Joe's life and his view on things. As we know, our lovable MC lost his parents early on so he's always felt lonely.

Then, as we al know his dream is to build a home where he can "se the lights on after he comes back, smell food, and having some one ask -You're home?-" Where did he get those ideas for a family? From Ja and Wut. They have taken on a parental role for Joe, as he is comfortable staying at Wut's house on a whim.. and so it clicks

The lights are on

There's Ja waiting

She'll bring out food immediately

We can further see the way Ja cares for Joe as if he were her own child in ep4 when Joe runs straight to Wut's house after escaping from Ming and she doesn't back away from the drama, she steps in to hold Wut from snapping at Joe. If this was just "work issues" she'd probably step aside, but not this time. That's Joe we're talking about.

Also, when Wut tell's him his life is over he addresses Ja directly when asking for help. He also sees her as someone to lean on and curl up to when he's scared, and she doesn't know how to help him this time and we can see in her eyes how much she feels for Joe.

When the international production is mentioned her voice breaks while asking hime not to do it. She's as scared as Joe is, both her and Wut. As he goes as far as to threaten him just so he won''t risk his life.

My point here is, she's such an important person for Joe. She is the kind of adoptive mother who opens her doors for lonely people like Joe, let's them sit at their table and feeds them as if they were their own Kin. She is the one who showed Joe that family can happen. Found families keep being a recurring theme in BL because for queer people they're usually the most important ones and it's not always friends. These kind of mothers have saved so many lost children, I think that us seeing her pregnant immediatly is for us to think of her as that, a MOTHER, not just as a wife. I'm certin we will see more of her in the coming episodes.

#My stand in #my stand in the series #am i projecting myself?#definitely #up poompat #mek jirakit #poom phuripan #ming x joe #thai bl #queer shows #boys love #found family

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gophergal · 3 days

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I know fuck all about tf2 except for character names. Most I got is you and a few other mutuals posts, and they're 10/10. How does the game..... work exactly? Like is there plot? Is it first person shooter sort of thing? Is there a tf1?

I could google it but that's not nearly as fun

OH BOY GET READY FOR THE B I G R AM B L E

WHAT THE FUCK IS TF2?

It's a team based first person shooter published by Valve (of portal and half life fame) in 2007 with nine classes to choose from, each with strengths countered by other classes (for example, the Spy is often a counter against the Sniper and Engineer. Respectively, by picking off the Sniper with a quick, stealthy backstab or by destroying the Engineer's machines). The game has been free to play since 2009 (i think. grain of salt please), and has a healthy playerbase to this day, aside from the bots. But not every tf2 fan actually plays the game. I play sometimes, but mostly just rotate the characters in my brain like a microwave burrito.

It is ALSO, however, a multimedia franchise. Aside from the game, which shows off worldbuilding and characterization through the environment and character dialogue (as well as the update announcement flyers on the official blog), there are also animated shorts and comics created by Valve that further flesh out the world and characters of TF2. Frankly, I think you should give the Meet The Team shorts a go if nothing else. They're iconic. It's hard to pick favorites, but I'm partial to Meet the Medic (obviously), Meet the Engineer (which I can quote verbatim), and Meet the Sniper.

Broadly, the world and aesthetics of TF2 are based on 60's/70's cold war thrillers and spy movies. Think James Bond and the Manchurian Candidate. These impeccable vibes are then wrapped neatly in a cartoony artstyle that wasn't common at the time (and arguably still isn't. I'm pretending that fortnight doesnt exist, as is custom). On a related note, the soundtrack FUCKS SEVERELY. Like. They just DO. They have influence from Jazz, Funk, and miltary marching songs, with more specific influences for individual characters (ex: country western for engineer, polka for medic, and bagpipes for demoman)

An important thing to note is that every class is a play on some stereotype from the movies that inspired the vibes:

Heavy Weapons Guy is a husky ruskie and a man of few words, but he has hidden depths. He's a family man, most importantly, and has been supporting and protecting his mother and younger sisters since his father was killed when he was a teenager. He has a close bond with the Medic and speaks highly of the Engineer ("Engineer is credit to team!"). In a debatably canon piece of dialogue from TellTale's Poker Night At The Inventory, he is revealed to have a PhD in Russian Literature.

Engineer is a texan with 11 PhDs in hard science. He exudes southern hospitality and seems like the most sane man on the team. He also takes great joy in the death and destruction his weapons cause, and ALSO helps the Medic in performing deeply unethical experiments that go against the laws of nature for curiosity sake. He's the third in a line of engineers, btw, and his grandfather basically conquered death. Which isn't super relevant, but I feel is a good lead in to some of the wackier elements of this world I would like to mention.

And every character is like this to some degree. Some more so than others- Soldier is basically just "how american can a man be before it starts impacting his mental health" and Pyro is unknown in terms of nationality, gender, and background

TF2 has a plot by the way! Yes, there is a reason for these many dudes in funny hats to be fighting. They are fighting over gravel. Yeah. So, these two brothers are fighting over land willed to them by their father (who died in the 1890's) which is largely useless aside from having a lot of gravel. Their names are Redmond and Blutarch Mann, and they're the ceos of their own corporations. Reliable Excavation & Demolitions (RED) and Builder's League United (BLU) respectively. They each hired mercenaries to fight a proxy war for them with the goal of owning it all. All the while, a third party, The Administrator, has been playing both sides of the Gravel War to keep it going as long as possible. Why? It's a mystery...

RAPID FIRE TF2 WORLDBUILDING BULLSHITTERY BE UPON YE:

(most of this is just stupid shit that was made up for Pure Random Funny HaHa and has very little bearing on the plot, but tells you a LOT about the tone of the franchise)

Rocket Jumping (that is, shooting a rocket propelled grenade at your feet and crouch-jumping at the same time to launch yourself into the air) was a technique pioneered by Shakespearicles, the STRONGEST POET TO EVER LIVE. He also invented the concept of a Second Floor in a building

Btw, stairs were not invented when the second floor was invented. I want you to take a wild guess how people got to the second floor before stairs were invented. (hint: it involves explosives)

Stairs were invented by Abraham Lincoln. He died due to rocket jumping up said stairs which caused him to accelerate rapidly into a wall. He was also the first Pyro in the 1890s.

New Zealand sank below the ocean sometime in the 40's. By which I mean it was intentionally sank because a Jor-el knockoff believed that the world was ending and that going underwater was the only way to save the nation.

CisMpreg exists. This fact is Medic's fault.

OK But What About Team Fortress 1?

So, its. Not complicated but it's not exactly simple. Quick answer, the original TF game has nothing to do with TF2. Team Fortress was originally a mod for the game Quake and has the same basic gameplay premise as it's successors (team based FPS with 9 classes) and quite a few maps have actually been remade for TF2. It was released in 1996, so, as TF2 was taking A Very Long Time to complete, Valve released a sort of... updated version that was meant to hold fans over. It uses the half life 2 engine, I believe, and was released in 1999. It is called Team Fortress Classic and it's only a LITTLE confusing to research I swear.

TFC takes place in the same universe as TF2, but in the 1930's instead of the 60's. Ignore the scifi/modern looking tech. Don't worry about it. This has no bearing on TFC, really, because it was only confirmed in one of the comics released in 2014. The TFC team matters to the comic plot, but is otherwise kinda just. there. Like, they only exist in the Mann Co No More story line and otherwise just exist.

Fun fact: TFC (the game) was updated to change the ingame class models to more accurately represent the appearance given to them in the comics.

For example, look at the glow up given to the TFC Medic! (original on the left, updated on the right)

In Conclusion:

I will be surprised anyone actually reads all of this, but that is my rambling summary of what in the fuck TF2 is. To be fair, the game is richly detailed but also kinda sparse at the same time. Its all vibes and interpretation my dude. Honestly I think what has made TF2 so popular and long lasting (lore wise) is related to what early FNAF games had going on

#gopher rambles #team fortress 2 #long post #im sorry its so long it got away from me. I was hit with the nuerodiverging beam of “someone asked me to explain a thing I like”#if you would like me to ramble about some of the mentioned interpretations and headcanons I'm rotating I would be glad to btw. but its a lo #hope this answered your questions!

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mountinez · 8 months

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i miss my best friend.

#ok maybe a bit of rambling on the tags so skip if you're not in the mood for it #well yeah it's been 20 days he went on an internship and i've been miserable ever since #it feels like half my body is missing and i've been crying everyday and i know he is okay and i know he is happy #gosh i love seeing him happy but it has been unbeareble to me stay away from him #the problem is me i'm over attached over emotional i can't love normally and when things like this happen i go insane #he'll come back by the end of the year but still i feel so lonely #even if i have other friends even with the gf that is not so gf since we can never be together even though... without him is not the same #you know what i think he is the most important person in my life #and i'm very exhausted when he calls me i pretend i'm fine and that i'm very happy because yeah idk what to do

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medi-bee · 5 days

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isat pokemon au, my liege?

my rambling in tags

#my art #in stars and time #isat #isat spoilers #pokemon #siffrin #mirabelle #isabeau #odile #bonnie #i am not individually tagging pokemon sorry. floragato eevee ursaring scorbunny meowstic <- for anyone who does not know them #im personally a big fan of when artists mold pokemon designs like clay to fit their characters so i tried to channel that #siffrin really does have the perfect mystery dungeon backstory. washes up on a beach with no memories of their past type of deal yknow #i imagine that he was still a sprigatito then? and evolves at some point during their journey? dont ask me for details i dont know them #veryy tempting to make him an absol but ive already seen that done very well!! so i kept most of these to floragato sif #mirabelle being an eevee is suuuch low hanging fruit sorry. i could not resist the evolving pokemon not wanting to evolve trope #i was concerned that sif was no longer shortest party member until i realized they just stand on their back legs all the time to feel talle #when quadruped like mira he is still shortest. sorry siffrin #isa gave me such a hard time. like i never thought i would turn a character into ursaring of all things but it really was the best choice #my other choices were bewear or pawmot if you care. he’s so bear coded #if going purely based on looks i probably would have made odile a sneasler. but i wanted her to be psychic #ill be honest bonnie was purely vibes. they carry the treasure bag :)#never draw bonnie's hat in profile worst mistake of my life #loop is still cat shaped here but i’ve seen the idea of them changing species thrown around. much to think about #i like the idea of the party seeing sif and loop side by side and immediately clocking their entire deal #the change god is mew btw. very important information to no one but myself #eurasie as hisuian zoroark?? lots of hair. and the king can be darkrai #don’t mind the inconsistencies. me and my 2781 ways of drawing the same character #wait what does an eevee look like again. googles it. oh i really crabbed this one up #uhh. looks around. been sitting on this one for a bit too long i think. maybe ill clean up some more sketches later

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blujayonthewing · 1 year

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#I've played with irl atheists and catholics and everything in between #but it rarely feels like faith is a real factor for anyone-- DM or player #outside of‚ again‚ divine spellcasters and Big Epic Plot Things #I mean there are a couple of 'RAAAHGH FUCK THE GODS >:C' edgy backstory types but #no one is just Normally Culturally Religious and it's WEIRD #like it's not even a matter of faith in dnd! the gods are LITERALLY OBJECTIVELY PROVABLY REAL #so what does that MEAN for the average person! how does it shape language? business? culture?#where are the people wearing holy symbols like amulets-- or the way modern christians very casually wear crosses?#blessings over meals? prayers before bed? burnt offerings?#and like I enjoy thinking about world and culture building but I know that's A Whole Thing but even just like...#it doesn't feel like anyone believes in gods at all except clerics and paladins #like they DO because they factually exist but in the same way I 'believe in' like. the president of france.#like yeah he exists and is important to some people but has no bearing on my life whatsoever #that's such a fucking weird approach to the DIVINE in a polytheist world where those gods are YOUR CULTURE'S GODS??#I am bad at this myself but I'm not religious so it's harder for me to remember what Being Religious All The Time Casually is like lol #funny enough my character with the most intentionally religious background in this sense #is one of my ones who's ended up wrapped up in Big Plot God Things lmao #'aubree starts the campaign with a holy symbol of yondalla because of course she does why wouldn't she'#'oh okay well she's gonna get deeply and personally entangled with a bunch of death gods immediately' fdkjghkdf oh!! welp #you don't really pray to urogalan unless you're breaking ground for a new building or someone just died so it's STILL weird for her lol #but at least I had the framework there of 'oh yeah the gods exist and matter to me and my everyday life and culture' in general #about me #posts from twitter

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idol-emu-otori-official-archived · 7 months

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╰┈➤ SHUFFLE AU

DESTINATION POINT (DP)

the Leo/need adjacent unit, composed of Ichika Hoshino, Airi Momoi, Ena Shinonome, and Minori Hanasato. ☆ a girl who's lost her friendships, and three others searching for their worth.

about the group's name: ♡ originally, i had "from here to there" in mind, but someone from the Discord gave me the name "destination point" and i thought it was much better, so i went with that. ♪

about the SEKAI: ♡ the Train SEKAI. no one knows when it left, or where it's going - just that it never stops. it's the perfect place for those who feel like they're lagging behind. just close your eyes and let yourself be carried away, right? but maybe there's something you can do… starts with a Miku and a Rin. the former's hardworking and talented, but the latter struggles - Rin is somewhat influenced by Ena's (and, to a lesser extent, Airi's) jealousy towards others.

•

Ichika hasn't managed to rekindle her friendship with her friends, and she's not doing particularly well. At one point, she meets Airi - who just quit being an idol. The two start talking and become friends, at which point they end up forming a band together. Airi wants to try finding a place where she could finally be taken seriously.

Ena's invited by Airi, and Minori - who had failed auditions recently - ends up inspired by Ichika's kindness, Airi's drive and Ena's determination, which is how she joins. (Haruka completely gave up on being an idol; something Minori is saddened by.)

In my mind, Ichika plays the guitar; Airi, the drums; Minori, the keyboard and Ena, the bass.

IDEAL HEAVEN! (IH)

the MORE MORE JUMP! adjacent unit, composed of Mafuyu Asahina, Emu Otori, Mizuki Akiyama and Shizuku Hinomori. ☆ an up-and-coming idol group that combines cuteness and sophistication.

about the SEKAI: ♡ quite similar to the Empty SEKAI, but with some idol influences - a broken stage with no one in sight. there's no bright lights, no colorful props. nothing. that SEKAI both comforts and pains Mafuyu. home to a lone Miku. sweet, hopeful, but genuinely crushed by the pressure she's feeling.

•

Mafuyu's mother wants a perfect child. idols are very frequently represented as being perfect - so, she decides that her daughter should become one, too. Mafuyu's not keen on the idea, but that's her mother; she's obedient, so she goes along with it.

Shizuku still quit Cheerful * Days, but instead of stopping altogether she ends up with Mafuyu. Emu wants to make people smile, but no one ever came; Wonderlands × Showtime was never a thing. so she decides to become an idol instead, even if it means she'll never bring back the Wonder Stage to its former state.

Mizuki's half-dragged into IDEAL HEAVEN! by Emu, who saw them looking with interest at idol merch. after bringing them to meet Mafuyu and Shizuku, Mizuki ends up accepting - the idea of wearing cute clothes and being called cute doesn't seem too terrible.

READY MADE SUCCESS (RMS)

the Vivid BAD SQUAD adjacent unit, composed of Haruka Kiritani, An Shiraishi, Shiho Hinomori and Akito Shinonome. ☆ two street musicians chasing after their dream, and the two girls they brought with them.

about the SEKAI: ♡ the Street SEKAI. weirdly, it seems Haruka's idol background has somewhat influenced its appearance. its inhabitants are Miku, Meiko and Len. this Miku is levelheaded, but it seems like there's something holding her back from going all-in...

•

after quitting being an idol, Haruka is invited by An to join her.

An's never met Kohane, and she never found a partner. Haruka is hesitant for a moment before deciding to give it a shot, though she keeps struggling with singing. Shiho tries getting more experience, meets Akito. no one really knows how these two ended together, but they both have a similar drive and take music very seriously.

eventually, they all start working together. Haruka deals with her guilt and, while she doubts she'll become an idol again, she's mostly made peace with what happened.

STARLIGHT ☆ EVERMORE (S ☆ E)

the Wonderlands × Showtime adjacent unit, composed of Tsukasa Tenma, Saki Tenma, Kanade Yoisaki and Toya Aoyagi. ☆ a strange troupe of people who aim to help others through their performances.

about the SEKAI: ♡ still very much Tsukasa's, so it's the Wonderland SEKAI. [kanade goes there for the first time and dies. alas, they're still a shut-in and this place is simply too colorful for her poor eyes.] starts with a Miku and a Kaito, though this version of the former uses far less onomatopoeias.

Tsukasa figures he needs to show the world how much of a star he is himself, and he drags his siblings into it (with varying degrees of willingness).

a part of Saki still wishes she could be in a band with her friends; she's only somewhat managed to repair her friendship with Ichika. but she's still happy to do something fun and lighthearted after all her struggles. Toya's very excited to do something with Tsukasa and his siblings. he also gets to stick it to his dad, which, honestly - is a bonus.

out of the three, Kanade is obviously the most hesitant about the whole thing. but she sees Tsukasa's drive to make others happy, something she shares with him, so she ends up agreeing. Kanade is… slightly healthier physically on account of the stubborn people looking after her, as well as all the exercise she does she does as part of Starlight ☆ Evermore. mentally? eh… we'll get there. i need her traumatized to be interesting. <3

LONELY SYNDROME (LS)

the 25-ji, Nightcord de. adjacent unit, composed of Nene Kusanagi, Rui Kamishiro, Honami Mochizuki and Kohane Azusawa. ☆ hidden behind avatars, these citizens of the web tell stories online.

about the SEKAI: ♡ the arcade SEKAI. this Miku is shy and withdrawn, though she one day hopes she'll be able to break out of her shell, just like Nene. alongside her is Luka - she has a bit of a teasing attitude and a catlike personality, but she always does her best to boost Nene's confidence.

about the group's name: ♡ syndrome refers to a group of symptoms - i paired it with the word lonely because i felt like it represented the atmosphere of an arcade. you're connected with people who share your interests, but at the same time, you're sort of separate from them. surrounded by people, but utterly alone…

•

Nene's social anxiety hasn't gotten better over the years. since she never joins Wonderlands × Showtime, she doesn't learn how to fight her stage fright.

but, she finds an alternate solution; using an avatar online. it's less stress-inducing, and it lets her pursue acting, in a way - it's not what Nene wants, but it's close enough. she figures she could be satisfied with that. Rui ends up figuring out what she's doing, and asks if he can help. Nene doesn't really have any reason to say no, so they start working together.

as for Honami and Kohane, they ended up on Nene's channel by pure accident. but her performances quickly became a comfort to them, since they were struggling at the time (the former because she no longer had her friends, the latter because of her lack of confidence).

unfortunately, ignoring your problems only goes so far, and eventually, her feelings give birth to the arcade SEKAI.

#// ooc #shuffle au #didn't bother detailing every SEKAI - they're mostly staying the same #destination point is accidentally very similar to richie's unit 💔#and ideal heaven! also. oh well. i didn't do it on purpose..........#my favorite out of these five is lonely syndrome & starlight ☆ evermore :D #which is evident because a) i developed lonely syndrome's story the most and b) starlight ☆ evermore has all my favorite characters #pushing my tenma agenda <3 #lonely syndrome is like… dear to me because i struggle with very bad social anxiety and it's held me back so many times #so i relate to nene a bunch #i wish i could just - go out there and show people what i'm capable of doing. but i just freeze in place each time. it's easier to just…#give up. y'know? it hurts less.#and fun fact: lonely syndrome's luka is more or less based on rui? he's an important person in nene's life so you know -#i figured that it would influence one of the virtual singers. i love nene and rui's friendship ww #i put Kanade in the WxS-adjacent group because i wanted her to die <3 #also. the potential of others finding out that this pathetic wet cat? is in a theater troupe?? insane. i think it's hilarious.#ready made success is a name i settled with despite not being very satisfied of it - so changes might happen!#there's some angst potential in there. i put some for emu too :3c #anyway. enough rambling in tags. i feel bad 💔#i'm insanen over them. if you have any questions - feel free to ask. teehee <3

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cluescorner · 2 months

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Randomized Robins AU - Ages + Worst Trait Exercise:

Steph (25):

Says her worst trait is her murderous rages (she is exaggerating for dramatic/comedic effect, she’s killed 3 people tops and for very good reason)

Thinks her worst trait is her spitefulness (one of the few traits she definitely got from her father + one that prevents her from fixing her relationships and living her best possible life. She’ll refuse to interact with someone she dearly loves after an argument (happens significantly less after Tim’s death) or will say things she knows are hurtful just for the sake of having the last word. This trait will worsen in some ways as the list of people who have wronged her and those she loves grows, but will also ease up as she matures and realizes the harm it’s doing to her relationships with those she loves most.)

Her worst trait really is her spitefulness

Cass (26)

Says her worst trait is her self-righteousness (she believes that her goals are righteous and, as a result, she is righteous. Cass becomes very defensive whenever someone questions the mission and often does not second-guess herself. This is a trait she only develops later in life as she grows closer to Bruce/learns to understand herself more/starts to love herself more. But she knows she isn’t perfect and when somebody she trusts criticizes something she is doing she is willing to listen. She just usually isn’t the one to START the introspection.)

Thinks her worst trait is her self-righteousness.

Her worst trait actually is her obsessiveness (she gets it from Bruce and, while not as bad as him, she will easily become preoccupied with her night-life and the mission if someone isn’t there to pull her back. She will do this to the point of self-destruction and it hurts her relationships with the people she loves, especially Steph.)

Tim (24)

Says his worst trait is his spitefulness (he actively rejects the idea of mending his relationships with the older members of the family and this causes him to also lack good relationships with the younger ones)

Thinks his worst trait is his obsessiveness (similar to Cass, if he gets fixated on a task or idea he will neglect everything else in his life in order to dedicate more time to it. Unlike Cass, he will almost never be dragged away from it unless Pierrot snatches control of the body and forces them to take care of themself.)

His worst trait actually is how manipulative he is (the KING of guilt-tripping and using people’s emotions against them. He’ll do whatever he needs to do to get what he wants, he’s not above crocodile tears. And he will do it to whoever he needs (or wants) to with little care for how his actions impact others.)

Pierrot (Insists: “Age doesn’t apply to me! And even if it did, I'd probably be the oldest. Or the youngest! I’d never be a middle child, though.” Mental assessments by the Bats have put him around 21, with a margin of error of 3 years. Pierrot has called this “blatant character assassination by my eternal rival!”)

Says his worst trait is that he is an irredeemable psychopath without any regard for the wellbeing of others (this is a lie and everyone who's important to him understands this).

Thinks his worst trait is his parasitic nature (he literally would not exist had Tim not suffered the way he did. Plus he is a living reminder of one of the worst things that happened to many of his loved ones. He is a parasite injected into a functional person's body and contributes to his continued suffering. This is also a largely incorrect judgement of himself, caused by his actual worst trait.)

His worst trait actually is his limited sense of self (he doesn’t really know who he is outside of ‘inheritor to the legacy of the Joker (a man he despises yet also views as a father)’ and ‘chip in Tim’s brain that became sentient’. He slowly develops an identity over the course of his life and relationships with other people, but he lacks the foundations of identity that most people have. Pierrot will often almost become a caricature of himself and what others perceive him to be because it's the only person he knows how to be. This causes wild swings in how he behaves and relates to others, sometimes to the detriment of himself and others.)

Dick (17)

Says his worst trait is his clinginess (he is a very extraverted person who likes to be around others, which mixed with his fear of abandonment after his parents died means that if he goes a few days without seeing/talking to a friend he will get very anxious.)

Thinks his worst trait is his anger issues (he gets ticked off very easily and will explode on people. He’s kind at his core and is usually very nice, but he has a temper that can escalate significantly. Spoiler (and later Twist) help him channel this anger into something positive.)

His worst trait actually is his anger issues.

Barbara (18)

Says her worst trait is her disability (internalized ableism, she thinks of herself as less valuable than the other Bats because she cannot be out there in the capes like they can. She will grow out of this as she matures and as she learns how invaluable her support for the team is.)

Thinks her worst trait is her disability

Her worst trait actually is her overly-independent nature (In an attempt to overcompensate for everything she can no longer do, she has resolved to do literally everything that she possibly can without any help from others. This results in many instances where she either takes on too much and winds up not being able to fully realize any of her tasks or where she makes her life and the lives of others significantly harder by refusing help when offered/not asking for it when she needs it.)

Damian (16)

Says his worst trait is his perfectionism (he is overly critical of both himself and others, taking any flaw or problem and amplifying it to an absurd degree. This is due in part to his life with the LoA (where even a brief misstep could lead to death), in part to how others treated him initially as Spoiler (any flaw was fixated on and used as a reason to either mistrust him or portray him as unworthy of the mantle), and in part due to the fact that he is Bruce’s son (the only person with worse perfectionism problems than Damian). Gradually, Damian has improved in this regard but it’s still a massive barrier to both his own happiness and his relationships with others.)

Thinks his worst trait is his perfectionism

His worst trait actually is his perfectionism

Duke (16)

Says his worst trait is his definitely-real secret evil side (says this as a ‘my dad is a villain so who knows??’ joke)

Thinks his worst trait is his impulsivity in his words (Sometimes he will crack a joke or say a remark without thinking it through, leading to a LOT of hurt feelings and drama. He’ll say something without thinking it through and wind up seeming insensitive. This isn’t done because of malice, rather because Duke is someone who’s quick to act and speak. But while the mantle of Insight and his awakening powers have helped him with his actions, they do not always help with his loose tongue. As such, Duke gains an unfair reputation in the media as an instigator and will accidentally cause family drama through what he says.)

His worst trait actually is his impulsivity in his words

Jason (14)

Says his worst trait is his bad manners (he grew up on the streets and has no idea how rich-people society works, which he’s pretty insecure about considering he’s now the youngest kid of Bruce freaking Wayne).

Thinks his worst trait is his reactiveness (Jason never got the privilege of planning ahead for various events in his life, so he instead needed to rely on being swift and harsh in how he could react to situations. It’s saved his life on multiple occasions and helps significantly in his role as Spoiler, but it can also lead to extreme overreactions (accidentally causing kidnapping scare after Jason ran away following a fight with Dick) and a struggle to plan things out ahead of time. As he grows more secure in his place in the family and in life, this trait will lessen but never fully dissipate.)

His worst trait actually is his reactiveness

#stephanie brown #cassandra cain #tim drake #dick grayson #barbara gordon #damian wayne #duke thomas #jason todd #batfamily #randomizedrobinsau #I'm debating whether I should tag this with the Joker Junior tag and those related to it for Pierrot #because like...it's not quite that. but it's also very close to that and is the direct result of that.#but Pierrot would fucking HATE to be tagged as that and sees it as an insult to his identity...which he already has problems with #so I don't think I'm gonna #anyways lmao I am totally projecting my younger self onto Barbara. How could I not? She's literally the reason I view my disability #the way that I do and she actively improved my mental health just by existing and saying some of the shit she did when I was in the #stages of accepting my own disability. So yeah I am projecting a lot onto her because I love her and see myself in her.#I'm mostly basing these characterizations on my favorite versions of them (ie Red Robin 2009 Tim and Birds of Prey Barbara).#so I'm taking the traits I like/think fit in this AU and discarding what I think either is bad or doesn't fit or if I just don't like it.#Damian's 'murder gremlin who is a meanie on purpose because he is a meanie' is entirely unappealing to me and also does not fit this AU #I prefer him when he's portrayed as a sympathetic kid (who is still an asshole) and not a demon child. So that's what I'm using.#same with Talia's 'abusive mother who is totally on-board with all of her father's bullshit and will kill someone for no reason' version #I have read enough comics to know what I like/what is most important and what I don't like/what is #BLATANT CHARACTER ASSASSINATION GRANT MORRISON YOU FUCK YOU SET TALIA BACK SO FUCKING FAR #I also decided to outline their WORST traits because I already know what I like about these characters/their best traits.#most people do. But what was a greater challenge was finding what would make their lives and those of others worse.#what would I hate about this person if I knew them IRL? What would I first suggest they get therapy for? What hurts them and why?#I found these questions really interesting in the context of this AU where some people are forced into completely different roles #the says/thinks/is was inspired by trying to answer that question for myself. I say my worst trait is my impulsiveness but when #I asked others in my life they answered 'oh so you said your weird thing where you don't ask for help right?'

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