#you know i really hated this piece when i posted it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sunkissed-zegras · 2 days

Note

Paige nsfw hcs pls

─ warnings | NSFW under the cut! read at your own discretion!

─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson @euphternal and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!

─ ev's notes | the long awaited nsfw headcanons for paigey, i finally got the motivation to write it after i kept reading the INSANE smut yall keep writing (keep it up im lovin it) also this is such a mess, this is just rambling and not organized whatsoever, but wtv i hope yall enjoyed :)

woo, where do i even begin?

let's begin with the obvious, paige is a TOP, i can't stress this enough

i genuinely can't see anyone topping her she's just .... a TOP

but that doesn't mean she won't let you take the reigns every once in awhile, esp after a bad game/tiring practice because everyone once to be taken care of sometimes

i'm def not the first person to say this and certainly will not be the last but STRAP GAME GOES SOOOOO HARD

i feel like at first she's gonna be weirded out cus like... she likes only girls for a reason??? and she has her mouth and fingers??? why would she need a piece of plastic to make her girl feel good???

but the first time y'all try it, she's hooked

she forgets ab her hands after that

jk but like

yeah she's HOOKED

she gets really into it LOL, def can imagine her calling the strap her dick

oh and she fucks HARDDDD like, no room to breathe or anything

like you'll be gasping for air after and she'll be super duper proud

i read this one fic with like the dual ended one (i didn't even know that existed) and then i was like yep, yes this is the oneee

with positions, i can't see her doing anything more than like missionary (cus she loves to see your pretty face) and like from the back

but as soon as she discovers riding, it's OVERRRRR for you

she's making you ride her strap anytime she can, cus she loves it

she has her hands on your hips as she's guiding you and she LOVES IT so fucking much, like the power she has over you makes her go feral

oh and do not get me started on sucking her strap, cus again she loves the power she holds over you

she has your hair in a ponytail and the more you get comfortable with the whole thing, she WILL make you gag

she acts like it's her dick (yeah i know we covered that) but like esp when you're sucking her strap, she will just dirty talk u the entire time

"you like my dick, pretty girl? like gagging on my dick?" cus yeah, u do

oh and yes, she does have breeding kink

it breaks her heart that she can't get you pregnant 😪

but she sure as hell will pretend to!!!!!

will 100% bend you over and just yap about getting you pregnant

also if she's fucking you in missionary, she expects you to look at her the entire time

so if you turn away, she will grab your face and keep you looking straight at her

FUCK IDK WHY THAT'S SO HOT

paige is a D1 yapper i fear, and that would 10000% seep into the bedroom LMAO

mostly praise cus babygirl would feel really bad but when she gets into, she GETS into it

like she will call you her slut as she's about cum

that post-nut clarity goes hard the first time tho cus she's like no way i called my gf a dirty fucking slut 😭😭 she sits with her thoughts for a good 10 minutes trying to recollect herself

she is a munch for sure, like she will eat you out for hours and hours on end (not an exaggeration btw)

but she LOVES when you give back

it makes her go fucking feral when she sees you eating her out, like yessssssssssssss

she has to close her eyes bc if she keeps looking at your face, she WILL cum

she has a bad hair pulling problem, like she will grip your hair so hard your head will hurt after

it's apart of the appeal tho 🎀

her fav spot to get absolutely ate is her gaming chair cus like, she needs you in between her legs giving her support to get that victory royale 💯💯💯

she hates when she gets ass or tits bc she genuinely cannot pick

it depends on the day bc they're both great, she will never pick one

i feel like she's definitely thought ab fucking you in public but she can't risk it

SHES A D1 ATHLETE !!

the only time yall did was in a bathroom at an event and it was SOOO bad afterwards cus everyone could tell

you had to pretend like you didn't get your brains fucked out and paige had to pretend she didn't DO the fucking

but lowkey she enjoyed it a lot, but would she do it again?

maybe, a solid maybe (with the right motivation)

okay but like ....

she def has fingered u while the girls are over cus like, she was in a silly mood?

you just looked too fucking good, she had to

but thank god no one noticed (at least to yalls knowledge...)

she's a horny fuck ARGUE WITH THE WALL

she will get turned on by anything you do, like homegirl is just sooooo down bad for you

you could be applying chapstick and paige will be like "we need to fuck, now."

paige's aftercare is just giving you water and cuddling with you for 10 mis while scrolling on tiktok and then gets up to play fortnite with kk

she literally is the tiktok where it's like "after he rearranges my organs he goes and plays fortnite" i hope yall know what i'm talking about

but you don't mind ofc cus she makes you sit on her lap while playing

but then turns into another round cus shes a horny fuck

paige is all for hickies on YOU but she gets pissed when you give her a hickey cus she's like people are gonna see

like she's the only one who has to deal with the public 🙄🙄🙄

but she loves marking you EVERYWHERE, esp on your collarbone like it's so sexy

oh and god bless you in the summer, the ones on your thighs are getting AIRED OUT bc paige does not care

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

#wcbb x reader #wcbb #ncaaw #uconn huskies #ncaa wbb #women's college basketball #paige buckets #paige bueckers x reader #paige bueckers #paige x reader #paige bueckers fanfiction #paige bueckers smut #paige bueckers x oc #paige bueckers headcannons #paige bueckers fic #uconn wbb

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stephaniebrownslover · 2 days

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Hİİİİ YET ANOTHER ANON

Can I ask about Creepypasta ages headcanons in your main AU??

THANK YOU FROM NOW <333

HIIIIIIII NEW ANON, YOU'RE SO SWEET<3333

Okay thank you so much for asking, you guys are literally spoiling me, like I'm having a little heart attack whenever someone asks me something.

I don't want this post just be numbers so I'll give a random fact about main characters' most important birthday day and something about non-human characters, hope you don't mind. It's mostly angst and I'm so sorry about that.

YOU'RE WELCOME AND I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE IT<333

I know most of the ages sound ridiculous but it's really hard to attach them all together :(

Characters' Ages And Facts About Main Characters' Most Important Birthday

Au's ships: TicciWork, NinaKate, MaryJane and Bloody Angel(probably should've said this earlier)

Current year: 2014

Main characters

-Jeff The Killer: 20

Jeff got burned at the age of 15, at his most important birthday. His parents were seeing a therapist while Liu was still in prison, and his therapist made a suggestion to Jeff's parents to organize a birthday party for cheering Jeff up. Jeff can never forget the day he was burned alive because his whole life was shaped by it. That's why he hates his own birthday and attacks if anyone tries to celebrate besides Liu.

- Clockwork: 20

Clockwork's most important birthday is the 18th age. Because that was the first year she wasn't on her own. Jeff, Toby, Nina were close friends of Clockwork at the time and each had their own small-scale celebration. For the first time, Clockwork didn't hate her own birthday. That's how she got into the habit of celebrating other people's birthdays, if she felt good about something stupid like that, the people who cared about her might also deserve to feel good in a stupid way, or something like that.

- Hoodie: 25

According to Brian, the most important birthday is the one he celebrated at the age of 10. His family had taken him to see a theater as a gift, and little Brian was so impressed that he was literally obsessed with theater performances and musicals after that show. Even though 10-year-old Brian is the reason why he is where he is right now, Hoodie never blames him for following his dream.

- Masky: 26

His most important birthday is the 20th, when he started working under Slenderman's orders. The year he realized that his life would be like this and that he would have to spend more than he hoped in this job, that fighting would only cause him to die sooner. Obviously, he didn't care about himself, he'd rather die than live this way, but he didn't want to leave Brian alone.

- Ticci Toby: 19

15th birthday. The last year he celebrated with Lyra and his mother since he was a proxy at the age of 16, he celebrated rest of his birthdays as a proxy. Toby doesn't remember all of his memories, and although most of the time his memories are more like pieces, he knows that two women named Lyra and Connie are worth worlds to him. And every time the fragments of that birthday come in front of him, he feels nothing but happiness.

-Eyeless Jack: 21

↺Actually, if he was still alive, he would have been 34. Because he was 21 when he died during the ritual in 1980.

The most important birthday is the year he received the letter of admission to medical school at the age of 18. He had received this a letter a few days ago, and he and his family had thrown a big party to celebrate it. Although he spent his 19th birthday, his first year of studying med, with his family, the most important thing for him is his 18th age.

-Jane The Killer: 22

21, when Mary proposed to her on her birthday. Jane was in a very emotionally repressed state after all her trauma, and Mary could no longer control her feelings for her. While Jane and her lover Mary were sitting in a fashionable restaurant, Mary proposed to Jane. And when there was a lot of opposition because the age group was generally old due to the cost of the restaurant, Jane kissed her on the lips so as not to discourage Mary. The best birthday of her life.

-X-Virus: 17

7th age. That year, he had gone to the zoo on a school trip and celebrated his birthday with the animals there instead of people. This is the biggest proof that he prefer animals' existence to humans. Of course, he might have been happier if a monkey hadn't stolen his food, but little Cody wasn't mad at the monkey then. And when the monkey saw that Cody was upset later, he gave him some of his food anyway.

-Nina The Killer: 19

16th birthday. She and Jeff hadn't made up yet and it was a day when she was really hurt emotionally by him. Her close friend Kate, who saw this, tried to kill Jeff. Although Nina could hardly stop her, Kate was convinced later and they went to hang out at Kate's special place together. Kate was a really special friend to Nina, and she liked that she knew that Kate opened herself up so much. And when Kate dropped her home in the evening, she found Toby and Clockwork were clumsily trying to celebrate her birthday, she cried because of cuteness.

-Kate The Chaser: 20

The first year she spent with Nina as a lover, 20th age. They had become lovers a few months ago, and unlike other proxies, Kate did not remember anything about her past, so she had no memories to miss. Nina had known her since she found Jeff at the age of 15 and was after him. They became close friends when Kate was 17 and Nina was 16, and they started dating when Nina was 19 and Kate was 20. Their relationship began when Kate took pity on Nina and helped her, and Nina helped her during difficult times where Kate tried to expertize in proxy work. The year they became lovers, Nina organized a special day just for the two of them, knowing that she wouldn't want a big party, and Kate's favorite moment was when they watched the sunset with one head phone.

Main supporting characters

-Homicidal Liu: 18

-Sally: 13

↺If she was still alive, she would have been 55 years old. She died in 1972.

-Ben Drowned: 12

↺If he had continued to live, he would have been 32 years old. He died in 1994.

- Puppeteer: 23

↺ If his heart was still beating, he would have been 37 years old. He died in 2000.

-Zero: 24

-Nurse Ann: 27

↺If her heart had been alive, she would have been 33 years old. She died in 2008.

-Bloody Painter: 17

-Judge Angels: 17

-Mary Vaughn: 22

Supporting characters

-Lulu: 16

-Laughing Jack: 214

↺He was produced in 1800.

-Nightmare Ally: 15

↺If she was still human, she would have been 55 years old. She died in 1974.

- Kagekao: 29

↺If he was still a human, he would have been 34 years old. He died in 2009.

-Rouge: 32

-Jason The Toymaker: 134

↺He was produced in 1880.

-Laughing Jill: 114

↺She was produced in 1900.

Background characters

-Slenderman: 2500+(?)

↺It is not known exactly when he was born, some say that there are drawings of him even in ancient Egypt.

- Emra: 25

↺If she was still alive, she would have been 37 years old. She died in 2002.

-Dr. Smiley: 33

-Cat Hunter: 30

-Zalgo: ?

↺It is estimated that his existence endured back even before the earliest times of humanity.

-Weeping Forest: 16

↺If she had not undergone this change, she would have been 56 years old. She died in 1974.

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imagine-a-life-like-this · 3 days

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Accidentally In Enemies : Part 3 (S.CB)

Word Count : 2.7k

Warnings : swearing, breakup, food, heartache, angst

A/N : Just the epilogue left now! I'm sorry it took so long to get this part out but I ended up hitting major writer's block with this part. Hopefully the epilogue won't take long to get out so I can start posting the next series soon after the poll is finished!

It felt like the beginning again. The first day that San broke up with her. She woke up the morning after the dinner, everything processed in her brain, and she didn’t want to get up. Wanted to waste away in bed. Re-reading texts between them, wondering when things went wrong. Scrolling through pictures she had yet to delete, wishing for those days to come back. When they looked so happy together, so in love.

But Changbin refused to let her waste away in bed. Showing up at her house every single day. He didn’t let her sit with her thoughts for too long, always having something to say. Makes sure she takes care of herself. Helping her realize that this wasn’t the end of her love life, just the end of this chapter.

She had gotten used to having him around. Expecting him to be knocking at the door at the same time each day. She would find herself pulling herself out of bed to get ready for his arrival. Having a shower, getting dressed, doing her makeup. Why am I trying to impress Changbin? She would find herself thinking. But his knock would pull her from her thoughts, and she wouldn’t think about it until the next day. A cycle. A routine. It’s been so long since she had a routine like this.

A routine that didn’t seem boring. A routine that had her excited for each day. Changbin helped her find excitement and happiness in each day. Just by being around. She went from absolutely hating him to craving his time and attention. Waiting for classes to be over so she could see him again.

Until it all seemed to crumble around her.

The day started the same as it always did. With her getting ready, wondering again why she was trying to impress Changbin. And then he knocked on the door, pulling her from her wandering mind. But when she opened the door, her smile fell, and she was met with Choi San. She went to close the door, but he stopped her, slamming his hand on it, and pushing it back open. “I just want to talk.”

“Everything has been said and done, San. Let’s face it. Our relationship was over long before the breakup. I realized that recently. I’m over it.” She goes to close the door again, but he stopped her again.

“You said your piece, can I please say mine?” She stood there, staring at him, tracing his features with her eyes. She could see the bags under his eyes, wondering if he was losing sleep over what happened at the dinner weeks ago. But the obviously fresh hickey proved to her that he really didn’t care about her. He’s here for him.

“Talk.” San is persistent, she knows that. If she doesn’t hear him out now, he’ll come back again. And again. It used to be one of her favourite things about him. He’d go to her after every fight. If she wasn’t ready to talk, he’d sit with her until she was, letting her know he wasn’t going anywhere. But right now? She hates it. Wishes he could let things be said and done, focus on his new relationship, allow her to focus on herself.

“Can I come in?” She shook her head.

“You can talk out here.” He nodded, running his fingers through his hair.

“I didn’t flirt with Gahyeon or anyone else while we were together, I promise you that. We started texting, but nothing romantic until I officially ended things with you.” He paused to assess the look on Y/n’s face. Try to gauge what she’s thinking, but her face was blank. Her eyes held no emotion. All she did was nod, and turn to shut the door again, but he started talking again. “Please say you believe me.”

“Let’s say that I do. Where does that leave us? We’re still broken up. You still had someone else in line for when we broke up. Nothing changes. So what was the point of you coming all the way over here to tell me this?” Silence fell over them for a minute while San tried to think of something. “Good talk.” She goes to close the door for a fourth time, but this time stops herself to say one more thing. “Maybe you should make a note in your phone of her favourites. So you don’t forget.” Before San could say anything else, she closes the door.

He goes to knock again but is stopped by Changbin. “I think it’s pretty clear she doesn’t want to talk to you.” San looks at the door and then back at Changbin, noticing the bags of food he had in his hands. He realizes now that she was expecting Changbin when she first opened the door, smile wide, makeup freshly done. It reminds him of when they first started dating, when he would show up at her house with food and gifts. How she would open the door with the same smile, the same starry look in her eyes. It’s clear to him now that she’s completely moved on, and for some reason, he hates the feeling settling in his chest.

It didn’t hit her until she was gathering her belongings together after class, humming a song to herself that Changbin likes to sing to her, that she was growing attached. She was falling for him. She didn’t think of San anymore. Or the hurt he gave her. She didn’t think of the breakup in the coffee shop with San handing her a drink she barely drank. Or the dinner where San pointed out food she would hate. She didn’t even think of the fact that her relationship with San was over long before either of them walked away. That he had another girl lined up for when he left her.

She thought of Changbin coming in, sliding her favourite drink across the table like he was the one she was supposed to be meeting up with the whole time. How he knew immediately which meal at the restaurant she would like, knowing the one San pointed out was one she wouldn’t eat. She thought of the way Changbin didn’t let her dwell in the heartbreak. He mended her heart before she could even realize it was broken.

The realization stopped her in her tracks, steps away from her desk, her bag falling to the floor. She was in love with Changbin. How could she be in love with Changbin? She spent years hating him, wanting nothing to do with him. Now all she wants to do is spend the day with him. Everyday.

“Are you okay?” Changbin came rushing in, picking her bag up off the ground, looking over her to see if she was injured anywhere. “Are you sick?” When he placed his hand on her forehead, she met his eyes. They were filled with worry and concern. And they were only focused on her. Even with other students around them, he only looked at her. “Let’s get you home and I’ll make you some soup.”

He slung her bag over his shoulder with no hesitation, wrapping her in his arms, leading her out of the building and to his car. People stared. They whispered. But Changbin didn’t care. He still only looked at her. She stopped walking and reached for her bag, but Changbin pulled back. “You don’t have to do this anymore. It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve seen San. We can end this and go back to the way things used to be.” She held out her hand for her bag, but Changbin softly hit it away.

“What if I don’t want to? What if I want to continue to be by your side? Did you ever think of that?” She stared at him, unsure of what to say. It never crossed her mind that Changbin wanted to be with her. Despite that being the most plausible reason for him continuing to show up everywhere. She always saw him as someone to hate, someone that hates her just as much. “Let me just take you home. Please.” He sounded desperate. As if he was seconds away from getting on his knees. So she gave in.

The drive was silent. Unlike the drives in the past, which were usually filled with music, Changbin singing along, looking over at her, and serenading her with every cheesy love song. She would laugh, playfully smack his arm, and tell him he was a dork. But it never stopped him. Not that she wanted him to stop. And now that he’s not, she wishes for nothing more than just to be serenaded one last time.

“Don’t come around anymore.” She said softly as she got out of his car. “Thanks for all your help.” He nodded and she shut the door. He waited until she was inside to drive away, trying to pretend like his heart wasn’t hurting and his eyes weren’t stinging from holding back tears.

She tried to keep to routine the following days, but without Changbin knocking at her door making her excited for the days to come, the routine seemed to fall apart. It felt like she was back at square one. Pulling herself out of bed, shuffling into the bathroom. She tamed her hair that was knotted all over from tossing and turning, brushed her teeth, and washed her face.

Her eyes scanned over her makeup when she sat at the desk in her room, glancing up into the mirror. And then she stood up, got dressed, and left her room. “Eat something before you go.” Her roommate called after her. When she turned around, she saw dishes scattered on the table. “Did you and Changbin break up?” Her roommate asked as they sat at the table to eat. “I got used to having him around everyday.” She giggled.

“Me too.” Y/n mumbled then caught herself. “We weren’t dating!” Her roommate looked at her like she didn’t believe her.

“Oh please. So he was just coming over everyday with food just because?” Y/n nodded. “Picking you up after class? Taking you out all the time? Late night drives? All just because?” She nodded again, slowly this time, taking in the words. “And look at you now. You look like you’re going through a break up.”

Y/n looked down at her outfit. It was warm outside so she wore a t-shirt with a pair of shorts. It was comfortable. She thought it was cute. But if Changbin were here to pick her up, she’s sure she would have gone for a skirt instead. Or maybe a little sundress. She would have done her hair better. A touch of makeup. “I’m going to class.”

“Just admit you guys broke up!” Her roommate calls after her and she slams the door, blinking back tears as she hops on her bicycle. It’s been a while, used to Changbin driving her everywhere. But she took a deep breath, put her ear buds in, and took another second to blink back more tears, and then headed for class.

She didn’t even notice the all too familiar car sitting across the street. Changbin sitting inside, watching her to make sure she was okay. He wonders if she ate the food he left on the steps for her. Wonders if she wished he knocked on the door. If she misses the mornings they shared the way he did.

When all her classes were done, she packed up slower than usual, nothing to look forward to anymore. Changbin wasn’t waiting for her outside the classroom door with his heart stopping smile. He wasn’t going to take her bag and wrap an arm around her, talking a mile a minute about his day, asking about hers, as he led her to his car. They wouldn’t drive around until they found something to do, somewhere to eat.

Instead she walks alone to her bike, head down, ignoring all the chatter around her. She’s come to terms with the fact that maybe, just maybe her and Changbin took the fake dating thing a little too seriously. Got a little too close. Became a little too attached. “Y/n.” Her head snaps up at the familiar voice, seeing someone standing by her bike with a nervous smile.

“What are you doing here?” She grumbled as she unlocked her bike, getting ready to go home. And then she stood up, holding her bike by the handlebars, staring at the man that nervously scratched the back of his neck. “If you don’t have anything to say, goodbye.”

“Y/n wait, please.” She really thought she’d never see him again. Hoped she’d never see him again. “You and Changbin. Is it true you broke up?” She used to find his nervous habits cute. The way he’d kick his feet, scratch at his neck, barely make eye contact. But not anymore.

“That’s not any of your business, San.” She answered.

“Do you want to know why I actually broke up with you?” He asked before she could leave. The question had her stopping in her tracks. She thought she knew. He didn’t love her anymore. He forget everything about her, started to learn about someone new. “You’re right that our relationship was over long before either of us walked away, but do you know why?”

“Because you fell out of love with me.” She answered, turning around to face him. He shook his head.

“Because I knew you and Changbin didn’t really hate each other.” She let out a laugh. She remembers telling San all the things Changbin has done to her, said to her. All the times he made her cry. She would say his name with venom lacing her words. “It was only a matter of time before you saw what I did.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? I despised him.”

“I didn’t.” She whipped her head around to see Changbin standing there. “I never hated you. I’m just an idiot and a coward.”

“I got to go.” She said, getting on her bike and leaving before either of them could say anything else. San nodded his head towards her, telling Changbin to go after her. He watched as Changbin rushed to his car, leaving as fast as he could, knowing he was right. He leaned against the bike rack, shoving his hands in his pockets, practically kicking himself for the words that came out of his mouth.

That’s not how he wanted the talk to go. He just wanted to know if there was any hope for them to start again, but he knew by the look in her eyes when she saw him that the answer was no. It would always be no. He was too late.

Changbin beat her to her house, standing in front of her steps by the time she made it home, a hopeful smile on his face. “Can we please talk?” She took in his appearance. The dark circles under his eyes, the holes in his shirt. It looked like he rolled out of bed and went to class, but why does she still find him attractive?

“You look like a mess.” She said. He looked down at his outfit and chuckled, shrugging his shoulders, telling her he didn’t think he would be seeing her today, even though he wanted to. “Are you going to give me some cheesy speech about how you’ve always had feelings for me and that made you nervous so you said dumb things and that made me hate you?” He opened his mouth to dispute that but closed it and nodded. “Idiot.”

“We’ve established that.” He said. She giggled and nodded. “So? Should we give us a real chance?” He looked at her with a hopeful look in his eyes, cocking his head slightly to the side as he waited for her answer.

“Let’s go inside. We have a new episode of our show today.” She said, taking a step towards him, turning him around, and lightly pushing him up the steps, slipping her hand in his before she opened the door. He smiled at her, holding tighter so she couldn’t slip away this time.

back to masterlist

@mxnsxngie @maeleelee @turtledove824 @moon0fthenight @dinossaurz

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unformula1 · 2 days

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sorry, for real this time (LS2 x OP81)

logan confronts his biggest need. part 4 of "changed" part 3 | part 2 w/c: 852 day 35 of loscar posts until we get a LOSCAR PODIUMM (series masterlist) masterlist tw: swearing

He opens the door and walks out.

“Logan-”

Oscar.

Logan stones again. He freezes and looks at Oscar.

He can only imagine how horrible he looks right now. Red eyes. Messy hair. Tear stains all over.

“I know you don’t want me to-” Oscar stops himself, “I just want to talk to you.”

“Oscar, I’m sorry.” Logan says.

“No-” Oscar rubs his forehead, “I mean, you shouldn’t be sorry.”

“You didn’t have to wait for me-” Logan sighs.

Of course he made someone wait behind for him, as usual. The burden, the dread, the weigh-down.

“I chose to wait for you.” Oscar replies.

“It’s probably late, you should go home.” Logan says.

Logan’s tired. His entire body feels like collapsing onto some soft surface.

“I can send you home.” Oscar says, almost begging.

Logan hesitates but eventually nods.

Oscar holds Logan by the waist which makes Logan shiver.

They both walk toward where Oscar has his car parked. The walk is silent, just Logan’s head bowed down as Oscar walks next to him, stroking his back again.

Logan gets into the passenger seat and Oscar starts the car.

------

“We don’t have to talk about it-” Oscar says.

Logan nods while leaning his head on the window.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Oscar asks.

“I’m a disappointment.” Logan doesn’t answer the question.

“No- No you’re not.” Oscar replies, his hand firmly on Logan’s shoulder, “Stop saying that.”

“You probably didn’t even want to do this.” Logan says, dragging his words.

Logan is really tired.

“I wanted to do this.” Oscar confirms, “I wanted to talk to you. You’re not some burden I have.”

“You didn’t even wave to me.” Logan leans back onto his chair now, staring up into the car roof.

“What? When?”

“I don’t know, a few days ago. When you were filming that one video, you saw me wave but you didn’t wave back.”

Oscar clears his throat, “Sorry.”

Logan shakes his head even more, “I hate this. I’m such a piece of shit, aren’t I?”

“This can’t be just about that.”

Logan shakes his head again, “It’s about everything.”

“Everything?”

“Yes Oscar, everything.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Everything’s changed. You’ve changed. We’ve all changed. I hate it but it’s something that’s happening.” Logan rambles, almost shouting.

Before Oscar can reply, Logan interjects.

“And you aren’t even there at all. It’s like- like you don’t even care about me anymore.” Logan chokes up, “I hate it. I hate everything. I want everything to go back. I want to go back.”

The silence that follows is deafening.

“I-” Oscar hesitates, “I’m sorry Logan… Logs.”

“Doesn’t even mean anything anymore. Oscar, what changed? Was it me? Did I do something wrong?” Logan says, on the brink of another meltdown.

He instantly regrets his words.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” Logan sighs, “I’m tired.”

Oscar nods, “I messed up.”

Logan lets out a sarcastic chuckle.

“Seriously, and I’m sorry, for real this time.” Oscar says, his voice laced with regret.

“I miss you Oscar.” Logan sobs, “I hate this, I hate that there’s a real, valid reason that you left me.”

Oscar feels his throat stinging too, like he wants to cry as well but he resists.

“I miss you too Logs.” Oscar’s voice is soft, “I’m sorry again.”

Logan starts wiping his tears off again.

“I’m sorry for leaving you when you needed me, for being absent.” Oscar says, “For forgetting about you, for making you feel like a failure.”

“Shut up man.” Logan says, “You’re winning trophies, be happy.”

“I’d trade all of them for you to be happy again.”

I’d trade all of them for you to be happy again.

Everything slows down. The road becomes empty, the world’s noises fade away. Logan lifts his head and looks into Oscar’s tear-filled eyes.

Like how it all fell apart, it fell back together.

“I’ve been a fucking horrible person Logs. Please. Let’s start again.” Oscar pleads, “I’ll do better. I want to see you smile again.”

And just like a miracle, Logan smiles.

Oscar lays a firm grip on Logan’s shoulders, “I won’t ever leave you on your own again.”

Logan’s head slowly falls back onto the chair’s backrest.

“I promise.” Oscar says.

Maybe he’s lying.

He doesn’t like you.

They haunt his mind. Logan continues looking at the car roof.

You’d trust him again?

The car stops at Logan’s hotel and they both step out.

You’re naive.

A sudden warm embrace interrupts all of Logan’s thoughts. Oscar’s arms wrap around Logan and stay there, tightly. Logan melts.

Everything feels safe. Logan feels safe.

Logan didn’t know when it started, when everything started to fall apart at the seams, but he knows when everything will be fixed.

“Sorry… sorry…sorry. I’m so sorry, Logs.” Oscar says, head buried in Logan, “I missed you so much, I missed everything.”

“Don’t beat yourself up Oscar…” Logan smiles, “Osc.”

They both hug for a while before they separate and it feels empty.

Oscar’s eyes are filled with tears, “I won’t let you down.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

You’d trust him again? Yes.

------ a/n: please forgive if it feels rushed lol, i just wanted these two to have a happy ending!!

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wordsofhoneydew · 3 days

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fic pride

Rules: Post your favourite line or passage from as many of your published works as you’d like. Let yourself feel proud of your creations! Tag as many people as you post snippets, so your fellow fic friends can be proud, too.

thank you for the tags @anincompletelist and @firenati0n

(no pressure) pressure tags to : @cha-melodius @whimsymanaged @cricketnationrise @alasse9 @sherryvalli @nocoastposts

reading back at my work has only reminded me how proud and happy i am with the fics i have written, and i hope y’all enjoy them just as much as i do!!

stolen glances with a string attached

Henry isn’t completely conscious of the fact that he is borderline stalking now, having been captivated by this man’s beauty. Even with the fair amount of distance between their office windows, Henry could still distinguish the prominent shadows cast on his cheeks from his eyelashes, and the sharp line of his jaw clenching every now and then. His skin seemed to glow exquisitely under the morning sun; looking practically magical against the gray of the city landscape. That’s when the other man notices Henry, catching him in his trance for a split second before Henry turns his head to look down at the keyboard in front of him. That was close , he thinks to himself before slowly turning his head to look back at the window. And to his misfortune, the man is looking right back at him; his eyes squint, his perfectly sculpted eyebrows furrow, and his face is wearing an expression as if to say caught you. And he’s not wrong. Henry’s eyes widen, his body tensing up in sheer humiliation. That’s when he sees a sly smirk make its way to the man’s lips, and it only makes the embarrassment course through his body more rapidly, feeling all the blood rush to his cheeks. The man then spins around in his office chair, reaching for what looks to be a piece of paper and a pen. He scribbles on it for a swift moment before pressing the paper up against his office window. The paper reads, “TAKE A PIC,” written in sloppy, bubble-like handwriting just barely legible enough for Henry to read. The man grabs another paper and writes for a moment longer, this time reading, “JK” with a winky face. Henry cocks an inquisitive eyebrow in his direction, the embarrassment slowly morphing into curiosity as the man turns the paper over for Henry to read the other side. “ALEX.”

your body comes back to me in dreams [nsfw]

He comes back to himself in increments, the places where they’re touching becoming lighter and colder, and his vision softening around the edges. Henry grabs the other man’s shoulder with a vice grip, wanting to laze in the gratification of their love. He surges forward to kiss him again, desperate to feel the warmth of his body, but he feels almost nothing. Henry pulls away resentfully, in search of brown eyes that bear unwavering devotion—but they’re gone, replaced by nothing, and he is faced with the iciness of the man’s absence.

i became your device to name and soothe

June blushes violently and whispers, “It’s not the same when I do it to myself.” The air is eerily silent for a beat, and June hates everything that is coming out of her mouth right now. Nora’s face goes almost stoic, serious, but the sparkle of interest in her eyes never falters. “Tell me why.” “What?” “Tell me why it isn’t the same.” June stares back at her staggered, at a complete loss of what to say, or how to say it. June has never had to explain the reasoning behind why she likes spanking. Hell, she’s never really thought about it in depth herself. Knowing that it brings her euphoric pleasure is enough acknowledgement for her. “Well… I guess it has to do with the attention and— uh, being taken care of is part of it, too.” She chews on her lips subconsciously, looking down at her lap. “I see,” Nora trails off, thinking deliberately before saying: “I can help you. Only if you’re comfortable with that of course.” Nora places her hand on June’s knee, it’s a comforting sentiment more than anything, and June realizes that she really does mean to help. Not in the exact way June wishes she would, but she’ll take what she can get at this point. “Okay.” “Really? “I trust you, Nora.” “Yeah, of course. I trust you too.” June tries to swallow down the knot in her throat before speaking again, “It’ll be like, nonsexual, platonic—“ “Like a massage.” Nora’s expression is unreadable, the same face she makes when she’s in the middle of coding a script or calculating how many red bulls her body can tolerate without a wink of sleep in three days. Like a project she’s undoubtedly going to excel at. It makes June squirm in her seat. “I’m not an expert, so you’ll have to give me some… guidance.” God. What has June gotten herself into?

What are the chances? [nsfw]

“This what you wanted?” Nora whispers on her navel, kissing and licking up to the sweat that has begun to form between her breasts. The position of Nora’s fingers remain hooked inside of her, massaging repeatedly at her sweet spot, and June is seeing fucking stars. Her chest pushes into Nora’s face, giving her full permission to abuse them with her mouth. Instead Nora pulls back, laying her hand flat on June’s chest to settle her back onto the bed again. She gives a light slap to one of her breasts. “How does it feel? You were so desperate for it earlier, huh, baby? So, tell me how it feels.” June is unable to speak for a moment, her jaw slacked with no sound escaping. Her head is buzzing and her legs are trembling from how much stimulation her body is receiving. “Feels— oh fuck, ” she huffs, “feels so good, Nora. Please, don’t stop.” Nora unties one of her wrists, still maintaining the consistent rhythm of her hand. Once free, June immediately reaches out to touch her face; running her thumb over Nora’s eyebrow, cheekbones and then her lips, feeling how soft and plump they are. Nora takes that as an invitation to kiss June again, this time with a more deliberate, loving touch—she can taste a bit of herself on Nora’s tongue.

#wordsofhoneydew writes #rwrb #red white and royal blue #alex claremont diaz #prince henry rwrb #firstprince #alex x henry #rwrb fic #rwrb alex #henry fox mountchristen windsor #june claremont diaz #nora x june #nora holleran #junora #red white and royal blue fanfic #red white & royal blue #rwrb fic recs #rwrb fanfic #rwrbsource

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oph3liatlou · 3 days

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— TWO YEARS

pairing(s); laredo!javier pena x bestfriend!female reader

warnings; suggestive content, kissing, smoking, light swearing, pet names in spanish.

word count; 1,372

proofread?; yess.

note from author; THE SPANISH I CAN FINALLY USE!!!

summary; childhood friends reunited after javier's posting in columbia.

The days were long. He’d been working his ass off at his old man’s ranch for the past two days, to get his mind off the DEA and his suspension. He had been exchanging information with Los Pepes, in an attempt to get a lead on Escobar, shame, he got found out.

He ran a hand through his sweat-slicked, chestnut hair, his dark eyes flickering up at the blazing, Laredo sun. He thumbed at the corner of his moustache, before his hand dropped to his side, a marlboro hung from his lips.

“Fuck.”

You rolled your eyes as you wiped the sweat away from your forehead, trying to keep from showing just how hot you really were. You kept staring up at the sun, the sun in Texas could be brutal, especially at this time of the year. You took a drag from your cigarette, letting out a long sigh as you looked at the ground. "Damn, this is hot." You muttered to yourself.

Javi couldn’t help but notice, your pretty pout, pouting as you pulled on your cigarette. He flicked his cigarette away, and wandered over towards you. His broad shoulders and strong, muscular arms made him appear even more formidable than most.

“Yeah it is.” Javi muttered, glancing down at the red dirt, and then back up to you, his dark eyebrows shifting, and his mouth curling into a wry smirk.

You watched him as he walked over to you, a faint smell of sweat and tobacco reaching her nostrils as she took in his appearance. He'd changed since the two of you had last seen each other, your best friend who you'd grown up with had grown into a very attractive man. Even with the scowl of his lips and the seriousness of his expression, you thought him to be very handsome. "Two years", You muttered quietly, "a lot changes in two years."

“Yep.” Javi concurred, softly. His eyes ran over her body, as you stood there, the smoke drifting upwards. “I see you’ve grown up.” He smirked, reaching over and tucking a piece of hair out of your face. His face suddenly, changed, and he looked at you, with a mixture of longing, desire, and something else. He had missed you.

You felt your heart beat a little faster when he smirked at you, when he tucked the piece of hair out of your face and looked at you with an almost hungry gaze, you could feel your insides tingle. You didn't hate him, not in the slightest, but you also didn't know if it was a good idea to give in to your own desires. You were still hurt over the way he'd left two years ago, and you didn't want to get sucked in again only to have him break your heart...like he did when you both were kids.

He wanted to feel you, taste her, but damn, he was on some suspension bullshit, and his past still haunted him. Why now? Was it bad timing, or? Could he afford to let you in once more? He looked away from you, his back to the glaring sun as he inhaled his cigarette.

“Got a lot to tell you, and- to apologize for. It’s been two years- but…” He trailed off, exhaling smoke, before the question escaped him. “Why’re you still here?”

You sighed as you took another drag from your own cigarette, the heat of the sun beating down on you made your skin shine with sweat. You thought about his question, it was a fair question, why were you still here? Two years ago, you would've packed up and went with him in a heartbeat but now things were different, you had changed and grown up without him.

"I could ask you the same thing", You said softly, looking away from him. Your eyes darted to your cigarette, you smoked it down to the butt before finally extinguishing it.

He’d expected a lot of things, but not that. He’d expected to see you, sure. Maybe even to have a shot at redemption, hell you've known each other all your lives, and you was beautiful. You'd grown up alright, it was almost as if he was looking at a completely different woman.

“I…” He began, taking a drag of the cigarette, and sighing softly, before exhaling. “I’m just trying to get away from everything.”

You took in his answer, it was a good answer, and it also made you curious. As his best friend, you thought you knew everything about him, but the truth was, you didn't. You hadn't seen him in two years, and you didn't know the half of what he was going through now. You let your gaze roam over his features as you mulled over her next question.

"From everything?" You asked softly, taking a small step closer to him, a look of curiosity flitting across your face.

“Mhmm.” He nodded, taking in another drag, he looked to you with an unreadable expression. His dark eyes, roaming over your face, but his lips pursed, as if he was debating on whether he should reveal what was bothering him. He wasn’t the type to share his feelings.

“The world’s kinda been shitty for the past couple months- so, figured coming home was better than facing- well, everything.”

Your eyes narrowed as you took in his answer, that was a bit of a non-answer. There was more going through his head, you could see that on his face, but then again, that's the way he always was. He wasn't one to go all emotional, even though he was definitely feeling emotions right now, the way he kept looking at you told you that.

"And there isn't something else that has you on edge?" You asked softly, moving a little bit closer to him.

“What do you mean?” He asked, genuinely not knowing where you was going with this line of questioning. Were you trying to get something out of him? If so, he wasn’t about to give it up willingly. You were the one he’d been avoiding, after all.

“I mean, there’s- well the suspension, which has me pretty riled up, but besides that, there’s nothing..." He paused. "But besides that, there's nothing."

You shrugged. "I mean coming back here…seeing me after-" You inhaled deeply but didn't finish your sentence. He knew what you were talking about. Your breakup before he left.

“Yeah.” He groaned, letting out a sigh as he rubbed his brow. That had been what you'd been alluding to, and damn this was awkward. His eyes met yours, and he looked away quickly.

Javier couldn’t help it. It was stupid. But he had a chance with you, he could see it now, even if he did keep telling himself he didn’t deserve you. He exhaled smoke, his mouth curling into a sardonic smirk.

"I would've come with you," You paused. "To Columbia- if you had asked." But he hadn't, even though you had been together for 3 years.

“Yeah well…” He sighed, looking down, his hands in his pockets, as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. “I was- I am a dumbass. I just thought-“ He huffed, and rolled his eyes. “I don’t even know, honestly. But look, cariño, I’m sorry alright- I was a complete idiot.”

Him speaking Spanish always melted you on the inside. Your legs felt like Jell-O when he stepped closer to you. Dear. You sighed, your voice was softer now. "You still are, Javi." You partially teased.

He smirked, “Yeah? How so?” He asked, his voice as smooth as smooth as velvet.

He took another drag from his cigarette, his eyes trailing over your body, lingering on the curves of your hips- his mouth curling into a small smirk, “Cariño~.”

You smirked. "Well, let's see…" You let your voice trail in suspense. "You still haven't kissed me yet." You crinkled my nose. "I'd say you're slacking."

With that, it was all over. He couldn’t help himself- he reached forward, his hand holding your chin, and he kissed you deeply and passionately, his lips soft and pliant against yours.

It was what you wanted. It was what you needed.

You both needed it.

To reunite.

#writing #request #reqs open #oneshot #headcanon #smut #javier pena fanfiction #javier #javier pena narcos #javier pena x reader #javier peña #javier pena x you #javier pena smut #narcos fanfiction #javi p #narcos smut #Spotify

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hisseri · 7 months

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please let my dear old man go on a vacation

#varric tethras #varric #dragon age: the missing #dragon age #illumone art #you know i really hated this piece when i posted it #but now i look at it and wow not bad

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steakout-05 · 3 months

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*clenched fists, head on the table, white knuckled, seething, hyperventilating, visible veins showing, sweating, about to burst into tears, shaking violently, going to explode*

it's.... spelled........ JON.............. arbuckle........

#how i actually feel when i see someone spell jon arbuckle's name as ''john'' for the 574867347th time /j #jon arbuckle #garfield #shitpost #i find it interesting how many people spell his name with a H though #like i get that john is the more common spelling but also it was never written or spelled that way in any garf media #it's more common with people who haven't read garfield which is understandable actually #this post is a joke i don't actually get mad when people spell his name with a H #it's just like... you know that feeling you get when you really REALLY want to correct someone on a piece of info you know they got wrong?#yeah it's that #i'm very passionate about garfield if you couldn't tell lol #i guess there's just so much misinfo about garfield that it gets kinda exhausting #like i've heard a couple people say that garfield was made during WW2???#and when i first heard that i was like ''????? literally no it wasn't???''#like i mean this in the most polite way but What The Actual Fuck Are You Talking About #omg that's like that andrew garfield tweet i hate so much. you know the one that says that garfield was created by his granddad-#-about his cat who was named 'lasagna'? i hate that tweet with every fiber of my being there's SO MUCH wrong about it it's not even funny #i think that tweet is actually satire though but honestly it's so hard to tell what's satire and what isn't anymore #anyway. jon is spelled jon not john have a good day :)

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toytulini · 1 month

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god I know this is like The Wrong Stance on AI. I know its not about whether the art is Real and Human or If It Has A Soul and how a lot of the arguments against it are the same bullshit arguments people made against digital art like I Know. I Knowwww. but god, I'm really sorry, not to post like one of those annoying poetry bloggers I cant stand (yall are valid, live your truth, theres nothing wrong with what you post I'm just a petty bitch who hates poetry. unless I dont hate it.)

But theres just something about the way AI art will almost certainly never be able to mimic the exact way my pencil leaves an indentation in the paper, the way some of the lines I can never fully erase cause I pressed too hard, theyll have to at least train them to draw with a physical pencil first, and sure, they could train it to draw with a pencil and even erase the exact same piece I drew, line for line, on a piece of paper with a robot arm powered by AI, but they can't replicate. idk. the lineage of lefty bitches in my family, and the way I grew up going through school with my entire left arm silver with graphite, from doodling on my schoolwork. not yet anyway. but I guess I do live for the day we make the ai sentient enough that we can traumatize it by giving it homework after kneecapping its executive functions so it copes by drawing a big tiddy lobster monster. sure

#toy txt post #reblogs OFF i dont trust yall to be normal with this one i do NOT want it getting notes #i posted part of this before in a chat to a friend but im feeling it again. so #i havent drawn my big tiddy lobster bitch in awhile i should draw her again #also yea SORRY im sure this is The Wrong Feeling To Have About AI but also sometimes im a little grateful that i dont think my style is #smth a lot of the ppl coding ai to make art find to be worth trying to replicate except maybe as like a fake progress shot on a piece #which is smth i used to be really insecure about. how unfinished all my art looks bc it isnt to the point i cant fucking watch #like speedpaints and shit bc i just start feeling stupidly insecure about all the points in the video where I Would Have Stopped and been #like. im not touching it anymore i dont want to ruin it #and ive been insecure about my inability to really do digital art with like a stylus and shit like the way i do it with a pencil #and i know that is just me needing to Practice it but being too frustrated by it #anyway i know its just a Tool and its Fine and the problem is the art theft and the labor problems of it but liiiiiiike #i just.#im sure there will be unique things and usages of ai as a tool and i genuinely hope that ppl can figure out a way to make one that isnr #isnt* just full of stolen content bc theres unique fuckin shit about like digital art programs u can write stupid poetry that you hate #about it. or stupid poetry that i hate. cos im the poetry hater. listen. i cant stress this enough: its fine. youre fine. keep posting your #poetry and reblogging shit that speaks to you. im just a Bitch okay Ignore Me #i should go draw bokrae like. eating a computer about this #the real reason for that graphics card shortage was bokrae ate them all when she was in the mood for a crunchy snack

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garrettwrites · 8 months

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When someone tells you they don't like hugs, that's not an invitation for you to "cure them". It is not a "you" thing, although sometimes it might be. You thinking "they have to get used to it" because "your hugs are different" and "that's how you show love" is not a valid argument. Hugging them out of the blue as a goodbye is not cool either. Fuck off.

#ok to rb in case someone is in the same boat but thinks the post is too personal #this friend of mine...#pretends he's great but can't respect one basic thing #he's lucky I have grown to control my emotions and not lash out #i hate it #don't hug me or touch me end of line #i am honest to god feeling sick #this dude and I have history where I borderline felt incapable of saying no and had sex with him #afterwards I told him how I felt #yet he still pulls this shit #hugs make me sick to my stomach I don't even hug my family #and I really don't wanna hug a man who pretty much made me hate sex (for myself) as a whole #i feel disgusting rn #twice he hugged me and got mad when I refused to hug him again #even after I already told him I hated it #then asks if I'm scared of him because of that like you piece of shit I wanna rip my skin out where you touched it #I may pretend to everyone that I'm a strong confident man but good lord #sometimes I wish I had an over protective boyfriend so he could kick him in the teeth over this shit #it's ridiculous I know but fuck #apologies if you read all these tags but I over drank after this and none of my friends are awake and I needed to vent #garrett.text

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dirt-str1der · 6 months

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Thinking nonstop and reflecting on my past and the people i have talked with whom i now hate. Badly

#Listen to my problems #this is a vent post ->#i cannot believe she had the gall to text me out of nowhere and then delete her text like girl now i am thinking of how much i dislike you #and how worthless you are. like ok. at least you knew to go away #like somewhere out there im certain you will be someones favourite person but i wish you were dead #theres always a word i use when talking about my least favourite person and it is worthless #crazy how a person in real life can have 0 redeeming qualities and not just negative rizz but also be pathetic beyond measure #do you ever think of people you talk to because of circumstance and you get kind of close and you have way more contact than you would like #and you end up hating them so much because you were kind of close. like yeah if we met in passing i would not have despised you #but now i know how its like to be your friend and it is the worst experience of my life #like if we really hadnt talked. if we hadnt shared minimum 2 interests that was a gateway to me learning about the rest of you that is #completely terrible. AND liking the things i like and making it bad is like 😟 how can you like this piece of media if you like it shittily #how do you like the same things as me but in a way completely divorced from the thing itself my god you dont even deserve to be gutted #i understand exile as a punishment now. like no way im using up my state’s resources and facilities for you just get out of here

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disdaidal · 9 months

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Sometimes I really kind of envy you native English speakers who make writing and posting fics seem so fucking easy. With near perfect grammar and hardly any typos. Or those of you who are capable of writing & updating your fics whenever the muse hits you just right... and not like, once in six months. Actually, try two years lol.

Whereas me, a non-native speaker, who occasionally struggles even with basic English grammar:

I'm fine. Totally.

#personal #okay so i've been writing this one piece of fiction for a while now #actually two but i've seemed to put the other one on hold for a while at least #(i may have mentioned this already like five times during the past two weeks but my point is i'm still working on it)#many thanks to @ihni who recently gave me some words of encouragement <3 and ofc @catzy88 who gave me even more insp *saatananauru*#and i'm actually really kind of enjoying it because there's no pressure to write it and post it #i write it in small sections. whenever i feel like it. giving myself enough time to plan it and think about it. even getting new ideas #and for once i'm trying not to keep editing and fixing it as i go. i just write whatever crap comes to my mind and just let it flow #i try not to think about how many mistakes and typos i make because that way i'm never gonna get it finished #but at the same time... when it's finally time to go through it #fix typos. missing words. possibly poor grammar. i know i'm just gonna hate it so fucking much lmao #but i'm really trying my best here okay. and i'm trying not to rush it. for once #because i used to write like this as a teenager. when there was nowhere really to post your original stories (thank god for that)#so i did it in my notebooks. and i quite enjoyed it doing that way #and i'm not sure why i'm even rambling this because most of you are never gonna read it anyway lol. so who gives right #but it matters to me and i'm feeling good about writing again so here i am rambling about it. no matter if you care not. so cheers mateys <

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tori-artemis · 2 years

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I don't usually make posts when I'm upset about something (or like, at all) but honestly I'm just. Really sick of the Loki fandom as a whole. Like I'm just tired of all the pettiness and bullshit. And tbh it's on both ends of the Loki series/Ragnarok split. Both pros and antis.

This isn't so much a vague post as it's a vent post for me. You see, I've been having these feelings about the Loki fandom overall for months now, and I've seen certain posts from the positive side where I just want to - jump in and say something, or at least speak for myself as an ""anti"" (hate that word btw) bc the amount of generalizing I've seen that goes on over there wrt ppl who dislike the show is just - well it's fucking frustrating. Like it annoys me bc I've heard every dumb overgeneralization since the show first came out, from not wanting Loki to move on bc we're oh-so-traumatized to we're just bitter bc the show didn't go the way we wanted/our hcs of Loki weren't validated, etc.

I think one that annoyed me the most was the claim that ppl who hate/dislike Sylvie as a character do so out of misogyny. And like - maybe there's some truth there wrt how the character/actress tend to be bombarded with gendered slurs, and yes that's not cool, but I've never referred to Sylvie or Sophia as any slur. (In fact I don't even hate Sylvie - what I do hate is how the writers have set her up as a "superior" contrast to Loki, which to me seems very intentional on their part, particularly wrt the Trauma Olympics™ as in "Sylvie had it so much harder" 🙄 - but I digress). Yet I can't help but feel like I'm being lumped in the "antis are misogynists" bin every time I read any of those posts from the pro side, simply bc I dislike the way a character was utilized. The way those posts are written, the way they sound - it's very black and white, overgeneralizing an entire group of fans, there's no nuance or side notes or disclaimers of "hey - I know not all of y'all are like this, this is just about some I've encountered" - not even in the tags, nothing. And I've just wanted so badly to jump in and say: "hey, anti here and I'm not like that" but I refrain, bc I've grown so tired of all the fandom infighting and discourse that I usually don't have the energy to get into it. So when I see someone from that side of fandom jump on a post and say how they dislike being overgeneralized as a fan, and how they feel like they're being misrepresented, or condescended to... I can't help but feel kinda upset by that, ngl. Part of me just wants to say "yes it sucks, but recognize that your side (if not you yourself) does it too. Some of you folks do it too."

Like I've read posts implying/stating that antis who hate the show lack critical thinking skills - and like, look, there might be a bit of truth wrt, say, calling Sylvie an outright abuser (and even I've been a little guilty of agreeing to view her as a person with toxic traits as opposed to the enemy-to-lovers trope she clearly falls into - tho I still can't really fault myself for not being able to take that romance seriously due to how damn rushed and forced it felt - but that's besides the point). But there's just something about the way a lot of these posts are worded, like yes some posts are pretty reasonable, but others are practically dripping with condescending sentiment (for lack of better words) as if we're fucking stupid for having emotional reactions to media as opposed to critical reactions, when isn't that the point of media and art, to illicit emotions? Like yes, the story might be trying to say something (and it might epically fail in doing so, which is how I view the show overall) but it's also meant to move ppl. And if it fails to do so, or it garners an unintended reaction, or the characterization is too inconsistent or the story telling itself is rushed/filled with inconsistencies then can you really blame fans for, well, being blindsided by disappointment/their emotions as opposed to critically analyzing it? And yes I know this is a matter of opinion, but still.

(Like sometimes a story can be extremely well written overall, and very well thought out and fans will just be oblivious to, choose to ignore or even outright refuse to pick up on the symbolism within a story, or the internal motivations/conflicts within a character, or how a character progresses/character arcs in general. Sometimes fans will even completely and intentionally misread a character in their entirety, and the role they play within a story, no matter how skilled and how excellent the writing is within a piece of art. And sometimes fans will just overall fail to realize the major themes/hints that a writer carefully lays out. Yes this is a thing, and one I've been made aware of in the particular fandom that I'm about to join.)

But then there's stories that are just... lazily/half-heartedly written at best, and so I just don't understand where pro stans get off by being condescending to ppl like me who just couldn't be immersed due to all those flaws in storytelling. Especially when I didn't get enough out of it to even see where a lot of these conclusions fans seem to have drawn from it. Like there are some inconsistencies within the story itself, there are things that just don't make a whole lot of sense, there are many contradictions, I didn't just make them up. And again I know, everyone interprets media differently, but I don't really see what a lot of pro fans have taken from the series, bc I personally don't think its there. And I really don't appreciate being thought of as some kind of imbecile for not "getting it" when the media in question is, objectively... not all that great tbh. And I'm being absolutely neutral when I say that, like I'm literally not even hating here.

And like I could've easily have turned around and made a bunch of posts stating how pro fans are "stupid" for putting so much thought into a piece of media I personally find to be stupid or just lacking in general, but I haven't. Bc one: that's a shitty thing to do to ppl, and two: it wouldn't even be true bc so many ppl who I consider very intelligent have enjoyed this show, and do put a lot of thought into analyzing it, so despite me not really seeing where they're coming from I want to respect that. And look, it's not like I haven't had those presumptuous thoughts or knee jerk reactions, bc yeah I am in an echo chamber too, and I'm no saint - I'm definitely human and I've had some overgeneralized, uncharitable takes. But I recognize this about myself, I don't post that shit. Which is why I get so upset when I see so many other fans do just that.

Also there is a definite misuse of the depiction of torture, which is used to convey certain themes, and that's very unfortunate, and IMO very bad writing/storytelling. I probably would've been a little more charitable towards the series overall if the Sif-beatdown timeloop scene had been scrapped altogether like the writers seriously should've considered doing (due to the fact that torture has so many misconceptions and is grossly excused in the majority of media which has unfortunate real world consequences) and instead focus more on Loki confronting his fear of being alone, if that truly is what the intention for that scene was. Like yes, some antis might go overboard wrt the messaging within the show, but when it comes to things like the atrocious time loop scene... that's not a made up thing we just happen to pull out of nowhere, that's something the writers put in there and therefore, yeah that's pretty fucked.

Then on the other side I'll find myself liking a post from a negative series fan bc I'll agree with the overall sentiment of it, only to unlike it right after reading the tags bc they've said something like "ppl who like this show/movie/etc are stupid" or "if you ever defended or even enjoyed TR fuck you" - and like??? WTF. I understand disliking the show or whatever but why the hell would you brush over an entire group of real, actual people as "idiots" for simply liking a piece of media??? Like - do I think the show was a disjointed mess? Yeah, I do. Do I think it was poorly written? Yes. Do I even think the reasoning behind a lot of these writing decisions was really fucking stupid on the creators part (or at the very least, that they failed to convey their ideas clearly)? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean anyone who's ever enjoyed the show is stupid for doing so, and I say this as someone who does have the knee-jerk reaction to go "how could you like that show, it sucked so much!"

But like, at the end of the day I understand that ppl take different things out of media. And just bc you find something so stupid or unwatchable, doesn't mean others will, and that's okay bc ppl are different and have different tastes and IDK how ppl don't fucking get that??? Like why is this even a hot take when it's literally just a fact???

It's shit like this that makes me feel like leaving the fandom all together. Which I don't really want to do, bc despite everything wrong with fandom and despite my own personal disappointment with the latest Loki/Thor franchise installments I still really love Loki as a character, and I still want to write fic revolving him. I even still want to make friends within the Loki fandom bc that's literally why I created this blog in the first place, to befriend other Loki fans, like I could've easily stayed being a lurker within the fandom but regardless I think at this point it's farfetched to want this bc the fandom's just way too split and way too hostile and way too fucking eager to be uncharitable and condescending af. And I'm just tired. I'm just... really really tired of the pettiness, the condescending attitude a lot of fans seem to fucking have for anyone who might think differently from them.

I'm tired of the gatekeeping - on both sides. It's on both sides. Because saying "real Loki fans would never like/defend TR/the show" and "how anyone can claim to be a Loki fan if they hate him/his own show" aren't so far apart from each other, both sentiments basically say the same thing, just from polarized viewpoints.

And I wish more fans would just recognize that.

#Loki fandom negativity #I refuse to tag this as anything else bc this isn't about the show - it's the fandom #look I'm just tired guys #I've been fed up and sick of all the damn fucking pettiness #Maybe I'm being overdramatic here #But in my defense I too am in the middle of experiencing that time of the month...#(I swear this isn't so much about that particular post as it is about all the other posts and nonsense I've seen #and the disappointment I've had with fandom that's just been pent up inside of me)#I know ppl follow me who are really entrenched in the negativity side who might take offense to this #And while I'm not really trying to offend anyone here I don't really want to go on pretending that I'm not kinda upset by all the -#posts and hot takes and hate bashing of fans/folks who might've actually enjoyed the show - bc yeah I hate that damn show too #but I can't help but feel disappointed when ppl start calling folks ''idiots'' and whatnot for enjoying a piece of media #THIS IS A BOTH SIDES ISSUE AND IM FUCKING TIRED OF IT #ALL OF YOU (GENERALLY) FUCKING GATEKEEP THE FANDOM #BOTH CONDESCEND THE OTHER SIDE AND ITS. FUCKING SHITTY #NO IM NOT A MISOGYNISTIC IDIOT WHO'S INCAPABLE OF CRITICALLY ANALYZING A MEDIOCRE/SUBPAR SHOW #AND NO JUST BC I HATE THE SHOW DOESNT MEAN I WANT TO HATEBASH ANYONE WHO ENJOYED IT #PPL ARENT IDIOTS OR STUPID FOR LIKING/DISLIKING A PIECE OF MEDIA FFS #like even discussing with some friends on discord is frustrating when they say things like ''i judge ppl who like the show''#like no. stop doing that shit. dont condescend others like that #if anyone seeing this feels offended and wants to block/unfollow thats okay #ive already made another blog focusing on a completely different fandom #so im probably going to be dipping out of here soon anyway #i just wanted to get this off my chest before doing so #also i know there are some cool ppl here on both sides/in the middle but im just done #i said i wasnt going to talk about the show but then i just went and did so #loki series criticism i guess #might as well title this post 'How to lose friends and alienate loki fans'#tldr: everyone (generally) in this damn fandom is fucking petty and IM TIRED

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