#you don't have to start where the story starts. you can start wherever the FUCK you want and then decide later what to do

[jankwritten]

the story doesn't start with the beginning or the end, the story starts with the moments that spark it. the story starts with that idea you had that made you want to sit down and write, the story starts with the moment the characters have that branches out and out, blooms into so many different choices and paths and conversations. it's okay if you don't know how to begin or how to end or even if you don't know what the story wants. just write the moments. follow them and see where they lead.

#this post brought to you by: my fucking writing process #i always try to force myself to write the beginning like i 'should' but then i get BORED and i wanna write the FUN STUFF #so write the fucking fun stuff!!!! #write the moments!!!!! #write when the two protag's eyes catch across the room #write the moment when the main character massively fucks up his entire project and ruins months of work! #write the moment where the hero and the villain run up against one another and in the ensuing fight we learn that they loved one another #like write the shit that makes the story INTERESTING!!! #i PROMISE it will lead you to the plot it will lead you to all the points you need SO Much better #you don't have to start where the story starts. you can start wherever the FUCK you want and then decide later what to do #i always start writing where the conlflict begins #and then if backstory is needed or if there's something that should come first i can make it come first #i can start with nico meeting the weird pale blonde boy and taking him into the woods and then i can go back and add the context #write the moments god dammit #ALSO ALSO ALSO if this advice isn't for you then fuck it!!! this is my advice that i took and it works for me and if it doesn't work for u #then that's totally chill and cool and sexy! now you know one more thing that doesn't work and you're closer to finding the thing that does #it's 3 am so i don't know how coherent this will seem in the morning but By The Gods does it feel so important rn #maybe this is more just a note for myself. write the fucking moments grey.

[godsandvillains-if]

Gods and Villains is a superhero/horror story set in a dystopian future where Earth is filled to the brim with crime and corruption—a.k.a MCU meets The Boys.

Warning! injury to major characters, gore, body horror, trauma and PTSD, amnesia, death, and sexual content. Rated +18. More specific content warnings will be provided at the start of each chapter.

You take control of a powerful metahuman, an otherwise ordinary human on the outside but who has the meta-gene, a potent mutation deep engraved in their DNA, which gives them superhuman abilities. This next step in human evolution comes with a setback, however, for the curse of madness seems to follow their every step. It lurks in the shadows, patiently waiting for the opportunity to strike—many metahumans fall prey to its alluring promises. 

With a dark and traumatic past filled with untold horrors and inhuman experiments, you are rescued from the clutches of crazy terrorists by a team of heroes that might lend you all the tools you need for redemption or complete self-annihilation. 

As the only metahuman with the ability to wield the powerful Chaos Magic, your very blood holds the answers to unlocking the secrets behind the control of time and space, but it has the drawback of being almost completely volatile. 

Who can you trust to keep you safe other than yourself? Trust no one, and maybe you can get out of this literal hell alive.

Play as male, female, or non-gender specific, along with transgender choices;

Romance one of seven characters, and if your heart is big enough fall in love with two of them. There's three possible poly routes available: Archon and Stardom, Archon and Mars, Paladin and Wildcat;

Customize your appearance, personality and powers;

Struggle against the shackles of madness trying to take hold of your psyche;

Battle a multitude of villains or become one yourself;

Uncover the secrets behind the meta-gene and your abilities;

Help the public fall in love with superheroes or forever destroy that chance;

In total there are seven romance options, each with their own personality, and dark secrets for you to uncover. You can read more about them below:

?

The villain, or anti-hero, whatever you want to call them, Mars is an enigmatic figure; the very concept of life seems to hold no value to them. A trail of bodies follows wherever they go, and on the news, they are regarded as the biggest menace of the century. They will have the unique ability to sway your loyalty. Beware, their sweet words and promises may drip with honey, but they also drip with the blood of their victims.​

Trope: Forbidden love, emotional scars, blood-play

Zev/Zena Hammer

The oldest of the bunch and not a metahuman per se. Hammer acts as the spokesperson for the team, mitigating the often tenuous relationship between humans and the so-called "mutants". As a retired police detective they've learned firsthand how rotten the world can be for the innocent, and they've vowed to protect them at any cost. Their analytical and communication skills will go hand in hand when dealing with various crimes, just as their implants.

Trope: Widow/widower, age gap, don't-call-me-daddy/mommy

Adam/Ada Armstrong

The current leader of the Alliance Team. Headstrong and dauntless, they are regarded as the strongest metahuman in modern times and the most enigmatic of them all, whose past is shrouded in mystery and unknown even to their closest friends. On the outside, they might seem apathetic and unconcerned with human suffering, but their true feelings are hidden beneath layers of deep trauma. Superhuman strength and invulnerability are their greatest assets when fighting villains.

Trope: Nobody thinks it will work, love/hate, fucking-your-boss

Edward/Evelyn Osborne

The former leader of the Alliance Team and Archon's best friend. On the surface, they are the stereotypical showboat: cocky, greedy, and egoistical. Stardom does whatever they can to gain attention, fame, and riches. For them, the best feeling in the world is an adoring fan and a beautiful person fawning over their heroics. The meta-gene gives them a genius-level intellect, which in turn is used to develop several pieces of equipment that are employed by themselves and the team during fights.​

Trope: Billionaire, belated love epiphany, good-people-have-good-sex

Johnny/Johnnie

If Archon's past is shrouded in mystery, Paladin's is drowned in it. For all you know, their name is not even Johnny/Johnnie but an alias of their choosing. They are known to be the silent loner type and are somewhat socially withdrawn from other members of the team, only speaking when called upon to do so. Behind their silver mask, they harbor more than a few inner demons, and together with their superhuman weapon and combat proficiency, they fight for the innocent.​

Trope: Secret identity, oblivious to love, weapon-fetishization

Pedro/Pilar Flores

The youngest of the team, considered by many a lighthearted jokester without any real talent beyond their obvious powers—which set them apart from every human that walks the earth. With their metahuman status so evident for everyone to see, hiding just didn't seem like an option, so they chose the next best alternative. Known to be playful, energetic, and often immature, they are responsible for balancing the team's more serious side, and when someone can take the form of any living being on Earth, the repertoire of pranks is endless.​

Trope: Beauty and the Beast, broken in some way, begging

Doctor Malik/Malika Aziz

The renowned Doctor Aziz, a famed archaeologist and considered to be the most powerful sorcerer, or magic user, in the world. They wear several enchanted artifacts that, in turn, accentuate their already tremendous knowledge of the mystical forces. With an extremely strong moral compass and kind demeanor, they will show themselves to be the best teacher you could ask for, but why do they seem to be everywhere you look?

Trope: Time travel, twin siblings or clones?, teacher-student

LINKS

DEMO ✶ PATREON ✶ KO-FI

#if: intro #if: gods and villains #interactive novel #interactive story #interactive fiction #choice of games #if game #hosted games #choicescript #choices #dashingdon #if wip

[fxllfaiiry]

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ୨୧  :  ꒰  𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊  ꒱  ♡ ˚₊‧

⌗ synopsis : some nsfw and sfw miguel headcanons.

⌗ cw : both fluff and smut. swearing, use of yn like once, some angst, thigh riding, titty fucking, size kink, mentions of crying and pain kink, breeding kink.

⌗ notes : REPOST!! someone flagged this post and I worked really hard on writing this fic so it's annoying and it makes me upset, please don't flag it again, just scroll away. please, please reblog!!!

✰ miguel o'hara makes you watch him work out because he knows how flustered you get when he's sweaty and shirtless. he'll also make you sit on his back while he's doing push-ups, exaggerating every move just to tease you.

✰ when he's not in his spiderman suit, he sometimes likes to wear the tightest shirts around you, he knows those shirts do his arms justice.

✰ the only person he's scared of is you. if you don't want him to do something, he won't do it. end of story.

✰ you occasionally like to tease him by randomly slapping his ass or saying things like:  

"how are your tits bigger than mine?"

"teach me your workout routine"

"damn, that ass looks good"

"you definitely have a big dick"

✰ you are the only person who can make miguel o'hara flustered.

✰ you love to kiss him every time he pouts, it's the cutest thing ever.

✰ when you guys are in public he shows little to no pda, but he smiles a lot more than usual.

✰ he may never admit it, but he loves cuddles :)) he loves to cage you in his arms and place kisses wherever he can reach. it's very soothing and helps him fall asleep.

✰ loves to watch you cook while hugging you from behind.

✰ playfully pretends to bite you every now and then, he looks all big and scary but he does have a soft side.

✰ remember the scene with lyla and miguel where she made him say please before calling for backup? yeah imagine that with you.

"yn, go call for backup now."

"excuse me? is this how you talk to your wife?" you huff glaring at him.

"I don't have time for this right now, just do it, okay?" he grumbles.

"not until you say it."   "no-"

"fine, no backup then." you start walking away from him ready to leave, until -

"okay, okay. baby, will you p-please call for backup?" he whispers.

"louderr"

"baby, will you please call for backup?"

"yeah I already did, but I enjoyed that"

✰ slowly learns to open up to you about his trauma, it takes some time but once he's ready you guys spend hours talking to each other.

✰ he can never stay mad at you for too long, most of the time he's the first to apologize.

✰ if you cry because of him he'll do anything to make it up to you. he'll make you your favorite meal to cheer you up and then later hold you tightly against him apologizing over and over again.  

✰ everyone teases him for being so soft around you, sometimes you join in as well.

"yeah, miggy, did I turn you into a giant soft teddy bear, hm?

"dear god, please shut up."

                  ୨୧　:　꒰ nsfw ahead  ꒱　　♡

✰ this man is the king of aftercare, cuddling with you and whispering how good you were. he'll even run you a bath afterward and shower you with affection.

✰ makes you get off on his thigh because he knows how much you love riding it, he loves how wet it gets with your arousal, making you clean it up afterwards.

✰ definitely is into fucking your tities, he has no control and starts to rut his hips like an animal. he admires how pretty your tits and face look afterwards covered in his cum.

✰ is addicted to eating you out, thrusting his tongue into your hole for hours and hours, he's addicted to your taste. miguel also conveniences you to ride his face and use him as you please, all he wants is to be suffocated between your thighs.

✰ he can usually smell when you're horny for him, if he's at work and this happens then it's an awkward situation, because he desperately wants to fucking rail you in the nearest empty room. oh, and he also has to hide his boner from everyone.

✰ uses his strength to hold you up against the wall and fuck you hard and fast.

✰ he knows how big he is and mocks you about how you won't be able to fit him in your tiny pussy.

"are you sure it'll fit, mami?"

"your pussy is so tiny, mama. I don't think you'll be able to take it"

✰ winds you up by rubbing his cock up and down your pussy without putting it in, he barely has any patience himself, seeing his cock glisten with your wetness makes him lose his mind.

✰ miguel will slap your cunt as a punishment until you're clenching around nothing and crying while begging him to fuck you.  

✰ leaves love bites everywhere as a reminder that you are his and his only.

✰ you'll wear his favorite shade of lipstick before sucking him off, leaving the lipstick's imprint on his dick.

✰ breeds you like an animal, fucking you raw for hours and filling you up in every position. nothing will leak out on his watch and if it does, then he'll shove it back in using his fingers. he will lick up everything from your overestimated cunt ignoring your soft whimpers of "papi, it hurts."

✰ ties you up with his webbing and uses you as his personal toy.

✰ loves to take you from behind, smacking your ass and leaving handprints, because he's mezmeriozed by the way it jiggles every time. while he's hitting it from behind he's so rough and messy, coating you with his seed all over your ass and back, filling you up to the brim, and making sure you don't walk the next day.

✰ talking back to him will only lead to him rubbing your clit and edging you till your clit is red and engorged to the point where the throbbing has become unbearable. he might take pity and finally fuck your weeping hole.

"finally learned your lesson, mama?"

✰ soft sex is also a yes!! he may be rough and all but he loves to dot on you, whispering praises into your ear while holding you oh so delicately against his body.

#📂 ‧₊˚ my works .ᐟ #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #spiderman across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse #spiderman atsv #spiderman x reader #spiderman #spiderman 2099 #spiderman 2099 x reader #oscar isaac x reader #oscar isaac #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara angst #miguel o'hara smut #spiderverse #miguel o'hara fluff

[braxlrose]

things i imagine 2005 bf bill does

• when/if he finds you sitting out in the rain he'll end up sitting down with you. it took some convincing because when he found you he was standing there, holding a regenshirm, shivering and was like "what the fuck are you doing out here 😮‍💨."

• it ended in you dragging him to the ground with you and playing in the rain. bonus points in you two ended up rolling in mud 💀

• memorizes your coffee order and always gets you a cup whenever he goes to get coffee or walks by a coffee shop

• plays with your hands when you two are cuddling and kisses your finger tips

• is always holding your hand. wherever you two are going, you guys are hand in hand. he loves the feeling of it and it just makes him really happy

• you two go on walks all the time whenever you guys aren't sleeping, rehearsing or doing school stuff and it's always so much fun. like always, you're holding hands, you guys get donuts and he buys you stuff whether you need it or not

• you two went skinny dipping together one night. you guys had been together for a couple months now and you were hanging out in your bedroom when you suggested you guys go "do something fun".

• he had no idea what you meant until you snuck our your window and brought him to the nearest lake and stripped. his eyes practically popped out in the sockets when you stepped into the lake and put your head underneath the water. you looked super sexy btw, all "you comin' in 🤭?"

• paints your nails for you and you paint his. he loves doing it with you because so many girls and guys make fun of him for doing it and he loves how much you don't judge him for anything

• i mentioned this in this story, but he ties your shoes for you whenever he notices they're untied.

• when his roots starts showing, he loves it when you help him redye his hair. and he also loves it if you have colored hair too that he can dye for you

• gets you sweet little things like charm bracelets that he made himself. like the ones with different colored string and then the little beads on them that are white with letters that you can spell stuff out with.

• makes you breakfast in bed when he isn't feeling lazy and wakes up before you

• smiles like a dumb idiot whenever you stand up to bullies for him. he interlocks his fingers with yours and rests his chin on your shoulder as you berate them, just holding in his laughter

• plays mermaids with you whenever you guys are at the pool hanging out

• buys you new clothes whenever he sees something you might like

• goes all out for valentines day. as we all know he's a hopeless romantic and believes in true love and all that shit so he LOVES spending valentines day with you.

• he buys you chocolate, flowers, romantic movies, writes you little notes and puts them in your locker throughout the day.

• if you two talk about having sex on valentines for the first time, he'll get you guys a hotel room and go all out with rose petals and shit.

• DO YOU GUYS KNOW THE SCENE IN 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU WHERE KAT IS SUPER MAD AT PATRICK AND HE SINGS "CANT TAKE MY EYES OFF OF YOU"? I SCRIPTED THIS HAPPENS AND YALL NEED TO DO IT AS WELL. if you don't know the scene, here it is.

• loves jaw kissing. doesn't matter if he's kissing your jaw or you're kissing his jaw, he loves it so much

• he loves it when you cook for him, especially if you're really good at cooking. same goes for baking

• plays footsie with you under the table during school hours

• bill likes PDA but he doesn't like stuff like shoving your tongues down eachothers throats at school. but he loves wrapping his arm over your shoulder, small kisses, hand holding, kissing your temples, etc.

• you and him have snowball fights im winter and it's always tons of fun. afterwards you both go inside and have some hot chocolate.

• he doesn't want you getting a cold during the winter so he practically forces you to wear gloves, a hat, jacket, scarves etc.

• but for some reason he only has to wear a jacket and he'll be perfectly fine 🤨

• kisses your hands and traces your tattoos

• combs your hair for you to make sure you don't have any knots your hair

• helps you out with homework and you do the same for him

• walks you to class with him hand in your back pocket and kisses you goodbye when he has to leave to go to his class. but he always gets super happy whenever he goes to a class that you're also in.

• invites you to parties with the rest of tokio hotel and ends up in some random room with you cuddling in your arms cause he gets all lovey dovey when he's drunk

• lights your cigarettes for you when you two are hanging out. he either lights it with a lighter or lights his cigarette first and then lights your with his cigarette. he usually does the second one because he thinks it's more cute and romantic

taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles @saumspam @5hyslv7

a/n: let me know if you guys want more

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel smut #fluff #smut #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz smut #bill kaulitz 2005 #kaulitz twins #bill kaulitz being sexy as hell #bill being the little flirty cutie pie he is #bill kaulitz fanfic #bill kaulitz imagines #bill kaulitz and reader #yn #reader #x yn #x reader #angst #fluff and smut #tokio hotel edits #tokio hotel fanfics #tokio hotel fanfic #tokio hotel imagine

[golbrocklovely]

cultish love // colby brock

A/N: first off, so sorry for this being so late, i had a lot of things i had to edit about this fic. also this is my longest fic ever ! like the other fic before this, this is a AU version of colby… where he, you guessed it, is a cult leader. and he is also corrupt (but like aren't all cult leaders). again this deals with some possible heavy themes, so give a good read of the trigger warnings before reading ahead. i've always joked about colby being able to lead a cult, and that's basically where this idea came from. this fic also took a turn i wasn't expecting, but i like it anyway. also the first half is written as a journal entry (all italized) and then the rest is an actual fic (not italized). lmk what you think, and happy haunting !

prompt: you're a journalist, and your next big story is on the 'empathic love' cult, led by none other than colby brock. this cult is not known well, but you are getting a first hand look at them and what they do. and quickly, colby takes a liking to you. || fem!reader x AU!cult leader!colby brock

trigger warning: SMUT, no actual sex but you do get mentally fucked (it will make sense in the story), cult vibes all around, love bombing, cursing, supernatural powers, colby is very intense and kinda scary but also still his charming self, slight dubcon similar in vain to sam's story - you never say no outright, but you do have general feelings of 'wtf is this, idk if i like' so if that's too much for you, feel free to read something else :), colby's aura is crazy good at giving you visions, strangers-to-soulmates?? don't know if that's a tag lol, also…. colby's technically bisexual in this????? but like barely

word count: 8610

I've been a reporter for only five years, and this story.... it could make or break my career. Cults aren't as prevalent as they once were way back when. They still exist, just in the shadows. A lot quieter on most fronts. Usually disguised as a business or religion, for tax reasons of course. But this cult, Empathic Love, is unlike any cult I've heard of.

Of course, they don't call themselves a cult, but that's what they are. How else would you describe a bunch of randos following one man around wherever he goes?

They only started so many years ago, right before I graduated university. The main founder, Colby Brock, is a pragmatic individual, according to his followers. The cult began blowing up in my town a little over two years ago, and now people flock from all over the world to visit the Love Compound. You would think it's Disney World the way people grow excited about it.

But I am here to get to the truth of this cult. What is their motive? What are they planning to do? Will this be another Waco or Heaven's Gate? What sinister beliefs hide underneath the modern-day hippie aesthetic they show?

These notes will document everything I experience for the next couple of days. And in case I go missing, these are my proof of who's to blame.

I don't think it will go that far, but you can never be too sure.

~~~~

Day 1 - Investigation

I'm still incredibly surprised I was allowed to come onto the Love Compound. The leader himself apparently reached out to my boss and told them that they wanted someone to come down and interview the group. They allow visitors from time to time, "new recruits" as some of the townspeople call them, but reporters have never been allowed in. Not once. Until me.

Driving up to the compound was nerve-wracking. I never imagined I would be nervous; I've interviewed plenty of criminals in my years, have done full blown investigations into scary, horrifying crimes. But something about this place freaked me out. Partially because I didn't know what I was getting into. But another part of me, and I will never admit this out loud, felt... at home.

The only promise I made to myself was I wouldn’t drink any kool-aid while there. So, I plan to stick to that. Pretend my previous statement never existed.

I was greeted by a beautiful woman when I got there: Avery. No one went by last names. And some apparently changed their names altogether, which was not surprising. My guess is there were most likely criminals hanging out amongst the group. But I had no proof of that, just a hunch. It easily could be a safe haven for those wanting to escape whatever life they had before.

The compound was three Victorian style mansions connected to each other and had a decent size farm attached - about 222 acres. Avery told me about all of the vegetables and chickens they farmed. Everything was organic and used up as often as possible. Anything that couldn't be eaten or produced too much for the only 100ish people in the compound, was sold at the farmer's market or given away to the local food bank. Avery explained to me very clearly that everyone in the compound chipped in one way or another. Some still worked normal jobs, but just lived here with everyone. But she noted that Colby hoped in the near future no one would have to work at all and they would be self-sufficient in a couple years.

A cult with future plans? Almost unheard of.

I told Avery that I was given an all-access pass to ask anything I wanted to, and nothing I asked could be ignored or deflected. She agreed to an interview. I recorded all of it, but here are the highlights of what I gathered.

I asked her why Colby was such a secretive man. There were very few photos of him that did exist out there, but all that was rumored about him was his alluring eyes and generally attractive presence. She agreed that he was handsome, describing his as having "ocean blue eyes" and his voice was to die for. "Deep and arousing", as she explained.

I noted that she seemed almost lost in thought at the idea of him, like she was envisioning him directly in front of her. Strange behavior; but not for a cult follower. Many end up falling in love with their leader, believing they have a genuine relationship with said person.

I bought up the name of the group, Empathic Love, and said it felt a little too inviting. She laughed and told me that it was right on the money - the best way to describe why everyone was there. She expressed to me that so many of Colby's followers wanted peace and love and light, and that being in this group felt like that. It was rewarding to be surrounded by those that cared and wanted to see each other succeed. Life outside the walls of the compound was rough, scary, draining; but inside, it was all love.

Call me cynical, but I don't believe that for a second. It took all the strength I had to keep from rolling my eyes at her. But I could tell from her voice, her motions... she was telling the truth. Well, her truth.

I wanted to know what brought her here, so she spoke of her previous life. She was abused growing up, moved around a lot in foster care. She was almost homeless, and then one day she ran into Colby. He had just begun the Empathic Love group, and she just knew she had to stick with him. Her life immediately turned around the moment he was in her life. The adoration in her eyes told me a different story, so I pressed her - "are you and Colby... together?" She smiled and said no, but she knew that they were life partners before, just not currently.

Oh... so it's one of those types of cults.

She said that Colby doesn't have a second in command, wife, girlfriend, whatever. Everyone is equal and heard. He's just the face of the group, which is a bit ironic given even I have no clue what he looks like. I knew he was young, in his mid-20s. But other than that, no idea.

I needed to know, why stay? What keeps you here? A dreamy look came over her, like she had said this a million times before: "Colby. He is love, and that's all anyone could ask for."

Chills ran up my spine at the tone of her voice. It was dull, and her words sounded like a mantra, the way she said them so easily.

I wrapped up my interview with her, quiring if I was allowed to interview others. She said yes and began sending over random people one-by-one to me.

If I hadn't gotten chills from her first, I would have from everyone else. Something about seeing everyone saying similar things, smiling happily, like the ship isn't sinking around them was eerie. It made my stomach churn when I would ask questions I already asked Avery, and get almost the same speech back.

I interviewed about 15 people. All variety of ages and genders. I suddenly realized that there were no children around, and everyone was over the age of 21.

Consenting adults… minus the supposed brainwashing.

A couple of the interviewees stuck out to me:

Penelope, 25. Her upbringing was similar to Avery's, but she still kept in contact with her family. Apparently, she wasn't the only one like that either. Many still kept in touch and even visited their loved ones. I asked her to describe Colby, tell me anything about him. She giggled, almost like a schoolgirl, and began to weave such a story about him. He was kind and caring. His smile was contagious, just like his laugh. And his singing voice was fantastic. She talked about him like he was a boy band member, and she was his biggest fan. I asked her to give one word to describe him, and she said "Love. He is love, and that's all anyone could ask for."

Greg, 36. He had fallen into rough times, and desired a fresh start. He had heard about this group online, and figured checking them out while he was in town wouldn't hurt. And that was a couple years ago. I wondered why he didn't feel weird listening to someone that was younger than him, and he shrugged. It was nice not having eyes on him. He loved being in a wallflower, and he believed that Colby deserved all the love he got from everyone in the group. Every ounce he got was ten-folded back into the group. Greg had never felt so connected to a group of people and he knew it was all thanks to Colby. "He brought love into my life like I never have had it before. Because that's who he is: love."

Heather, 29. She mentioned how for most of her life she felt like shit. Her confidence was at an all-time low when she met Colby. He encouraged her to keep at it, to love herself and find happiness everywhere. And by spending more and more time with him, she did. She has never felt more confident about herself, her life, her direction, and Colby is the reason for that. The tone that took over her voice when she bought him up was odd. It was very similar to a partner describing the love of their life, almost like wedding vows. I asked her haphazardly about her love life, how that was going for her. And she told me she had been on many dates - something she never used to do back when she was younger or before Colby. But she did note that regardless of who she ends up with, she knows that a part of her heart will always belong to Colby. They were connected, forever. "Love and light and happiness is what I desired, and I got it - all because Colby exists in my life now."

It felt like I was getting nowhere with some of these interviews. Many said the same thing, Colby being love and light and blah blah blah. I wanted someone that wasn't gonna just quote to me whatever mantra he made them learn. And luck was on my side, because I was able to interview their newest member, Ash. They were 23, and very beautiful. There was an almost smugness about them, like they knew they were the shiny new toy on the block. The confidence only a young 20-something year old could have.

I asked them, point blank, about Colby. Be brutally honest. They told me he was hot, and that's what drew them to him. They liked the idea of living in a group setting, especially since they grew up with many brothers and sisters. They liked helping out, and they liked knowing that Colby was keeping an eye on them the most recently. I then followed up with how long it took for them to join the group. "Three days. That's how long it takes for everyone."

I questioned them about the "Colby is love" thing, and they agreed it was a bit strange, but they couldn't help but feel the same way as everyone else. They were like a moth to a flame when it came to him. Everything about him was hypnotizing, entrancing. It was like staring at the sun; even though you knew to look away, you just couldn't help it.

Then I had to know: were they sleeping with him? Most of these cults feed off of the leader fucking every person they wanted to and leaving other members high and dry. But for some reason, it felt as if Colby was sleeping with everyone with the way they all talked about him. Ash dissented, saying no one was sleeping with him. He didn't sleep with any of his followers. But they all shared a deep, sensual mental connection with him. They felt like, sometimes, he was in their soul. And that sensation alone was euphoric, bordering on orgasmic. They also knew that in another life, they would have been together, similar to what Avery said.

It was then I knew that this group was clinically insane, or just really infatuated by what Colby was selling. It had to have been some crazy brainwashing. But it was odd; people were allowed to leave, to see loved ones, to have lives outside of the compound walls. Hell, some had dating lives that included those not here! That's unheard of, and completely stupid on Colby's part if he wants to keep things going.

A cult leader that wanted to watch his world implode.... I had to meet him. I had to meet the myth that was Colby Brock. And tomorrow I get my chance to.

~~~~

Day 2 - Interview with Colby

I feel the need to explain that these are my notes, not really meant for anyone else to see. And really, the only reason anyone would be seeing this is if I disappear or got murdered.

So, I say all of that just so I know, for myself, that this is a safe space for me to express my truest emotions and thoughts after interviewing Colby.

And all I can say, honestly, is that... I get it. I understand it now.

I felt my nerves hit their break last night before going to sleep, unable to stop my mind reeling from what was to come. I ended up bringing along a bodyguard, or really a photographer. I had known Trey since I started working as a journalist, and I knew I could rely on him to get us out of the Empathic Love compound if anything went south. I wasn't sure what I was up against when I went to interview Colby, but God... I didn't think I was so underprepared.

I met him in his office, Avery walked me over to it. It was up in the attic of the third house. It overlooked the entire property with wide windows. For an attic, I expected it to feel dark and dusty, but surprisingly it was light and airy. Almost like being out in the woods and taking a deep breath.

Colby was sitting in his main office chair. He spun around to see us, a light smile on his face. I'll be honest - I was taken aback by his beauty. I understood Ash's whole spiel about him being attractive and looking at him was like looking at the sun. It was intense. He was intense. His blue eyes bore into me, almost like they could see through me. I felt chills, but they weren't of fear. It was out of... excitement, of awe.

He greeted me, giving me a warm handshake. I hate to admit that I almost blushed at the sound of him saying my name. I had to take a couple deep breaths before starting. Avery left the room, and Trey sat outside the door, in case of backup.

I recorded our interview, knowing that I couldn't keep track of everything he said. But listening back to it now, his voice.... it's like a song. A beautiful, spellbinding song. I could almost fall asleep to it....

I asked him about his life, and how he came to be a leader for a group like Empathic Love. He spoke of his upbringing lightly, barely scraping the surface. He talked about growing up pretty normally, having a loving family, a great friend group, and then one day realizing that he could make a change in the world. That many people loved him and loved being around him. And that's when he knew that if he could make their lives better, he would. So, he started Empathic Love. Originally, it was just gonna be a safehouse for those that needed it. But then more and more people joined and suddenly, it grew into what it was today.

I asked where his family was now. "In Kansas," he told me. He said nothing further than that.

He humbly spoke of all the love he received from his followers, or his "friends" as he put it. They all cared about him in a way that he only wished he could return tenfold. I questioned him about the whole "Colby is love" thing. "How come everyone says almost the exact same thing, like they've been brainwashed into saying it?" He didn't even trip over his words as he spoke matter-of-factly to me. "I didn't come up with that phrase, they did. You would have to ask them. I take it as the highest form of a compliment, truly. I'll be honest, it's a bit embarrassing at times when they call me that, but I can't help what they do. I appreciate their love, nonetheless."

I continued asking him about different topics, until finally reaching the one I was most intrigued about. "How many of your followers - excuse me - friends, have you slept with?" He smirked, smirked, at me and said "None. Did any of them tell you that we slept together?"

"No, but the way they talk about you like the sun shines out of your ass does seem a bit odd, don't you think?"

He looked unphased. God, he had an answer for everything. "I'll be honest with you, some of my friends might be in love with me. But I make it abundantly clear that while I love them, and love their love, I don't have feelings for them. I'm still looking for the one."

I remember holding back a glare, "So, you're celibate?"

"Now, I never said that." He let out a chuckle, then his eyes darkened. "Why do you care so much about my sex life? Unless of course, you want to join it."

I tried ignoring his gaze and his words but stuttered through my next question. “Then who exactly is the right one for you, if it's not one of your followers or friends?”

It took him a while to answer, he even closed his eyes for a bit. He sat up once he knew, sauntering over to his window that overlooked it all. "I imagine the one for me is someone that will bring peace to me and my life. Someone that for all my faults, can see who I am truly deep down. She will love me, and I will worship her. I will show her what true love feels like. Our souls will be one, because they always have been."

Something strange came over me. I don't know why I said it, but I uttered, "What about looks?"

Who cares about looks! Why did I ask about looks? I was a serious journalist, not a reporter for Star Magazine!

He looked over his shoulder at me, "Looks aren't that important to me. What matters is mind and soul. Who you are deep down. But if I had to pick… someone like you. I feel someone like you would be a perfect fit around here."

I wanted to give him the sassiest voice and rebuttal I could muster, but deep down I was shaking. Energy raced through my body, like I had been electrified.

He kept his back to me, staring out the window. “I'm not trying to be overly complimentary. I'm just being honest. But I can tell that you would do so well to have us around. To have... me, in your life. I bring a lot of love to people's lives, that's for sure. But I also bring a lot of drive, and passion, and intimacy.”

Intimacy?

“People open up when I'm around. They tell me everything, even things they never dreamt of telling another person. And I allow it, because clearly, they needed to express it. And once they do, it's like the floodgates open. Love and light just start pouring into them, into their life, and it's overwhelming - but so worth it. Doesn't that sound nice?”

I guess so...

“I bring happiness to so many. My friends have told me that they get jittery around me, I'm like a shot of adrenaline. And that energy, that power, courses through them. And when it gets expressed, it comes out in…” He took a long pause, turning back to me. The look in his eyes… I can remember it as if he was still in front of me. “Pleasurable ways.”

I hate admitting this, and it's embarrassing to say it even now, but I felt a jolt of... something, run through me. I won't even say what it was out loud, in fear of never being taken seriously again. But what happened after that, I don't know if words can even express it well.

Colby continued talking, but I couldn't pick up on any of it. He was talking up a storm, but I couldn't help the sensations I was feeling. Even in my wildest of fantasies, I've never felt anything in reality. It was all in my mind. But in that very moment, it felt like it was happening to me.

I felt lips tread up my neck, stopping just below my ear. A hot, low moan breathed into my ear. My spine tingled at the sound, my hands gripping the armrests of the chair. If I didn't know any better, I would think Colby was behind me, making those noises. My hands suddenly felt hands on top of them. My eyes widened, looking down, but nothing was there. I couldn't really move my arms once the invisible hands were there. My whole body felt numb and heavy, relaxed. My mind was the one on edge, worried as to why I was feeling all of this.

I hadn't eaten or drank anything at the compound. Maybe it was being poured into the room by the vents? I don't know, but something was making me feel this way.

The invisible hands drifted up my arms, massaging my shoulders for a moment. My head lulled back, almost hitting the back of the chair. My mind was on high alert, but my body was about ready to fall asleep. The hands relaxed me so much that my eyes began to flutter.

But then... they drifted down my torso. They traced along my neck gently, drawing small, insignificant patterns. The hands grew lower and lower until they finally were on my chest. I felt the hands cup my breasts softly, my breath hitching in my throat. They kneaded my tits gingerly, my nipples hardening in my bra. I bit my lip, praying that I wouldn't make a sound. It was hard not to, especially when the delicate fingers of these invisible hands found my nipples, gently pinching them.

I remember closing my eyes tight. Trying to clear my mind. This wasn't actually happening to me. There was no way. This was a psychosis or a drug hallucination that was happening to me and Colby was doing nothing about it.

One hand drifted down my body, stopping right above my sex. I suddenly became very aware at how wet I was, my eyes widening. I felt a rush of blood flow through my cheeks. I was about to get caught. These invisible hands made me wet, and I couldn't stop them.

And the terrible thing was, I didn't want them to. I wanted them to finish the job. To get me off... in front of Colby. One hand rose back up my body, grabbing my neck and turning my face to look up at him.

A deep voice whispered harshly, "You want him, don't you?"

I didn't say anything, afraid of what would come out. But deep down, I knew.

"Say it, and it's yours. Say you want him. And he'll have you... forever."

I opened my mouth. I felt the words almost leave my lips. I stuttered out something. I closed my eyes, my body feeling high.

And then in a split second, it was all gone. The room grew quiet, and Colby cleared his throat. "Y/N, are you okay? You look flush."

I jolted out of my seat, being able to move freely again. I looked around and realized Colby was sitting once more, staring at me concerned. I finished the interview abruptly, saying I had everything I needed - even though I definitely didn't. And then he uttered words I wish I didn't hear.

"If you want, come back tomorrow. We are having a celebration here. I would love if you came by, even if for an hour."

I nodded, not even really taking in what he said, and left. Trey was confused as to why I bum-rushed out of the room, but I never told him the truth. How could I?

I knew deep down I shouldn't have said yes to go to the party. But getting that footage would be killer for my article. Interviews are great, but a party at a cult compound? That's bound to end terribly (for Colby, but great for me).

But something in me can't shake this feeling that I basically signed myself up for the end. End of what? I'm not sure. But I'll find out tomorrow.

~~~~~~

Stepping back onto the compound made my heart race. I was nervous as all hell, and just wanted this day to be over with already. Today was my last day doing this story. I was counting the minutes to when I could go back to my office and write about how this place was insane, or whatever narrative I planned to write.

I had enough proof that something was up here. All I needed to do was a bit more digging. And during the party is when I planned to do it.

Avery walked up to me, smiling brightly. "Hey, Y/N! How are you doing today?"

"I'm okay. I know it's a bit early, but Colby never specified when the party was going to take place." I replied.

"No, you're totally fine. The party is gonna happen later. Right now, though, we have something going on that you'll definitely want to see." She clapped excitedly.

"Oh? And what is that?" I questioned.

"We are inducting a new member!" she exclaimed giddily. "There's a whole process that we do, and everyone is involved. I imagine that will bode well for your article if you see it firsthand. It's all taking place in that tent."

I stared over at the huge tent, its plastic cover doors strangely inviting.

I hummed, "Sure, I'll be there in a moment."

Avery nodded, turning on her heels and prancing over to the tent, following in other members.

"What's happening in there?" Trey asked.

"Apparently they are inducting someone new into their cult." I informed him.

He blinked. "Group, you mean."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, whatever. Make sure to capture as much as you can."

He shook his camera, giving me a wink, "On it."

We both walked in, many members still up and around, giving everyone hugs and chatting. Avery waved me down, patting the seat next to her. I walked over and sat. My body tingled in anticipation. I wasn't sure what was going to happen. My breathing picked up as everyone grew silent, the doors opening. Colby walked in, and people rushed to their seats.

Colby called out, "Hello everyone, good morning."

"Good morning, Colby." Everyone said in unison.

Jesus, that was creepy.

"A lot of things are going to be different today. First, we have guests watching our festivities. Y/N and Trey. Everyone, give them a hand." He gestured to the two of us.

The tent exploded in applause, Avery evening rubbing my back sweetly. It felt like I was being congratulated on something I didn't achieve, my cheeks flushing at the acknowledgement.

"And secondly, sadly, the new member we were going to have decided not to stay." He frowned, his face dropping.

Members gasped, some audible "oh no" echoed around the tent. Colby nodded his head sympathetically. “I know, but fret not. I think this will be a learning experiment for our new guests. We can still do our traditional motions of having someone join us. But, imagine it as if it's a mock ceremony instead. Ms. Y/N, would you please step up here?”

My heart stopped when he looked into my eyes, the first time since yesterday. I glanced at Avery, who grinned enthusiastically. She pushed me out of my seat, my body following her lead. I gazed around, finding Trey, who pulled away from his camera with a concerned look. I stumbled up the walkway, stepping on stage with Colby.

Colby lowered his voice so I could only hear him, moving away from the microphone. "I know you wanted to know about how we induct someone into our little home, so I figured why not use you as an example? We aren't actually inducting you, in case you’re worried. This is just what would happen if you were joining. Are you okay with that?"

I gazed around the huge, white tent, making eye contact with many people in the audience. They all looked so eager, waiting to hear my response. Some were even shaking with excitement.

I stuttered, feeling Colby squeeze my hands to bring my attention back to him, "I-I guess so."

"Fantastic." He turned, still holding one of my hands, "Alright everyone, you know the drill."

The crowd cheered, suddenly many lining up to a microphone at the side of the stage. Colby lightly pulled me to a cushioned throne, sitting me down. "So here's what's going to happen. People are going to come up to that microphone, and they are going to give you plenty of love. Genuine love. And then the next person will go, and so on until everyone has spoken."

"Everyone here? Like, all hundred plus of you?" I whispered.

"Yes. It's gonna be a while, so get cozy." He laughed, rubbing my shoulders.

Time felt frozen as slowly everyone came up and said something nice about me. Some were quick, mostly just commenting on how nicely I dressed or how the stories I had covered in the past were interesting and thoughtful. But others, it's like they could see into my soul and point out the exact thing I was insecure about. Everyone was complimentary and it was nice, but exhausting.

The line had dwindled down, and the next person to speak was Avery.

She stepped up the microphone, giving me a huge smile. "Hi, Y/N. I know we don't know each other that well, but I feel like I've known you my whole life. These couple days of getting to know you, being interviewed by you, have just been the highlight of my life. You are such a lovely presence to be around, and you deserve all the success you've gotten these last couple years."

Lots of people in the crowd nodded, agreeing with Avery. She continued, taking a deep breath, "I wanted to add - you are so deserving of love. You are easy to love too, and I hope that you are surrounded by people that make you feel that way. I know that this is just a mock ceremony, but I truly believe you would be such a great addition to us. I know you don't trust us, but I hope that soon you will find that you have a safe place here. Even if you never come back here again. This is your home now, and forever will be."

My chest heaved suddenly, tears welling up in my eyes. What the fuck is happening right now? Why was I crying at what she said? Sure, it was sweet and kind, but... how did she know I needed to hear that?

I turned my head, wiping the tears before anyone could see them fall. The crowd clapped as Avery left, going back to her seat.

The last couple people were a blur, my mind still hanging onto Avery's words. Suddenly, a hand was placed on my shoulder, jolting me out of my thoughts. I gazed up, seeing Colby's beautiful face staring down at me.

"The ceremony is done. Now, time to party."

~~~~~~

It had been a couple hours since the ceremony, my body feeling almost numb but jittery all at the same time. It was hard to shake all the love and words that were thrown my way today. Sure, some were probably just lying and saying random things because they had to, because they were conditioned to. But it freaked me out how some just... hit the right spots, knew my insecurities.

The party itself was fine. Two of the houses had parties happening in them, and since all three houses were connected, you could leave one and walk into another. There was a dancefloor full of people, and multiple fully stocked bars. Tons of food was at each table. It honestly looked like an adult prom. But I wasn't in a partying mood. Trey, on the other hand, was enjoying himself immensely. Girls and guys surrounded him, laughing at his jokes and bringing him plates of food and wine. One girl kept rubbing his thigh, staring at him longingly.

I wanted to leave. I had had enough of today, and I just wanted to be as far away from Empathic Love as I could be. I decided fresh air was what I needed, so I got up and slid out the back door of one of the houses, taking a deep breath. There were still too many people around, but I noticed the last house, the one with Colby's office in it, had no lights on and no one around it. I walked through the yards, stopping once I was by the back porch of the third house.

I sighed, leaning back against a railing. I could still hear the party going on, almost getting louder now that I wasn't there. I shook my head, feeling overwhelmed.

“Hey, Y/N. Fancy seeing you here." Colby's voice broke through my thoughts.

I exhaled. “Hi, Colby.”

He cocked his head, “Are you doing okay? You seem... upset.”

I felt this sudden rush of anger, knowing in reality he was to blame for all of this. “No, I'm not doing alright. I want to go home, I'm extremely overwhelmed by this party and all the people around here. That ceremony was too much for me to deal with, and the only way for me to get out of here is Trey and he's getting rubbed down by your followers!”

He took a step back, putting his hands up defensively. “Woah, that was a lot. You must have needed that release.”

I glared, “You think?”

“Look, I get it. It's a lot to take in. I myself don't love going to all these parties. It can be really overwhelming and if I'm honest, it gives me a lot of anxiety,” he admitted casually.

“You get anxiety?” I scoffed, “How? Everyone here loves you.”

“I know. That's the stressful part!” He sat on the railing, turning to me. “I'm the leader of this family. I have to make all the right decisions, and sometimes that means upsetting some of the people closest to me. Not to mention, so many eyes are on me, and it's just all too much sometimes. Even if you think this group is a cult, I still care for everyone here. I make sure they are fed, have a job, and have a life outside of here. And that's a lot to take on.”

“How do you deal with all of it, then?” I questioned.

“Patience. And a lot of alone time when I can get it - through meditation, specifically,” he laughed. “I was actually going to go meditate before I found you. Would you like to join me?”

I shook my head. “No, I'm good.”

“Are you sure? Look, at the very least, it will get you away from the party and all the noise. You don't even have to join me, you can just... sit in the room with me while I do it.” He argued, shrugging his shoulders.

I gazed at the party, everyone had grew rowdier while we were talking, and I didn't even notice. But my head felt like it was spinning from the noise alone. I sighed, nodding my head. Colby smiled, opening the door to the house, and I walked in first. I followed him up to his office, sitting down on his couch as he sat in the center of the room on the floor.

I raised an eyebrow. “That's where you meditate?”

“Yeah, I know it's a bit silly. But I feel so much more grounded... on the ground.” He replied cheekily.

I snickered, sitting back and watching him. He crossed his legs, resting his palms on his knees. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He took multiple breaths until they were low and shallow. I furrowed my brow, my eyes never leaving his form.

It almost seemed like he was asleep, or in a hypnosis of some sort. He was completely still and silent. A dull glow appeared at the top of his head, growing brighter and larger. I leaned away from him, my eyes widening at the sight. What the fuck is that...?

An aura grew around him, surrounding him completely. He didn't move, unfazed by it. His eyes remained closed, and with each breath it grew.

"How... are you doing that?" I uttered, my mouth a gape.

"Doing what?" He spoke in a monotone voice.

"That... aura. How are you doing that?" I pressed.

“I've always been able to do it since I was young. You can get closer if you want to.” He suggested.

How did he know I was still far away?

I stepped off the couch, moving closer to him. I kept my distance, but the aura was almost pulling me in. It was beautiful, the light reflecting and growing bigger. I was almost engulfed by it, but it stopped right before getting to me. I could feel its warmth, its energy. It was calling to me, beckoning me to step towards it.

The aura wrapped around me, filling me with light and love. Or at least that's what it felt like. I gasped at the sensation, my legs shaking underneath me. I breathed in deeply, my lungs filling up with fresh air. I didn't feel like I was in the room anymore. I felt like I was flying, the world almost zooming around me.

“Let your body relax, Y/N. I know it's so much to take in.” Colby’s calming voice spoke.

I felt my body give out on me, falling onto the soft rug. I laid down on my back, staring up at the ceiling. Visions began to swirl in my mind and around me.

How is any of this happening?

He answered, reading my mind. “Because of me. Because of us. Because of the connection you and I share.”

My body felt very heavy, unable to move even if I wanted to. I could move my eyes, and out of the corner of them, I saw Colby stand up. The aura remained around us, almost engulfing the entire room.

“You know, I knew the moment you stepped foot on to the compound's grounds, you were going to like it here. You were going to stay.” He smiled sincerely, gazing down at my body.

I blinked, confused. “What? I-I don't plan to-“

He cut me off, “This is the final step, Y/N. Everyone gave you love, people celebrated you, and now... I'm allowing you in.”

I wanted to shake my head, but couldn’t. “But I don't want to join.”

He chuckled, “Yes you do. If you didn't want it, none of this would have worked on you. You wouldn't be seeing what is directly in front of your eyes.”

The visions morphed around me, suddenly showing Colby and I. But we weren't us, we were different people, at a different point in time. But I could feel it was us. We were in love, growing a family together. Our lives were beautiful.

What the fuck is this?

“That is our past, or present, or future,” he winked. “The thing is, Y/N, I never seek out anyone. They all seem to find me.”

“That's not true, you emailed my boss about being interviewed.” I remarked.

"Oh, you are so forgetful, Y/N. You emailed us, begging to interview me and anyone else that said yes. I only agreed because I knew you wanted to meet with me. You sounded very eager to join in your email." Colby pulled out a piece of paper, reading from it happily, "Dear whoever reads this, I'm hoping to score an interview with your group, Empathic Love, for an article I am writing. I would love to meet Colby, and really pick apart his brain on why he created said group. Maybe I could even join if you guys win me over. Please let me know if any of this sounds of interest to you. Sincerely, Y/N of Global Gazette."

He leaned down, staring into my eyes mischievously, "Now does that sound like someone that didn't want to be here?"

My heart raced, suddenly scared. “Why don't I remember writing that?”

“I couldn't tell you. All I know is you wanted to be here. And there's a reason for it.” He sat down on the ground next to me. I wanted to get up and run, but my body stayed still, heavy. “Growing up, I realized very early on that certain people just... gravitated to me. A lot of women, yes. But really it was anyone. And not only did they gravitate towards me, they became obsessed with me. At first, I was confused, uninterested in ever going through that. Who wants someone obsessed with them? But then I realized how much good I could do with so many people rallying behind me.”

He continued, “As I got older, my ability, or power, or whatever it is - grew twice as strong. Suddenly, all the people around me followed me, did anything and everything I could ask for. Then, I began getting visions, and I understood why this was the case. Everyone here: we had a past life together. Their souls and mine have always been connected. They find me and then continue to stay. And almost always, they fall in love with me. It's just so glorious.”

“You're insane.” I mumbled.

He hummed, “Interesting, especially since you’re seeing the same things I am.”

It was true. The whole time he spoke, I saw vision after vision of our past lives together. We were always destined to meet, destined to be with one another.

“But the thing is, I know you're different from all the rest. You and I, we are meant to be together forever. You are meant to love me forever, and I am meant to love you. That's why my abilities affect you so greatly.” Colby divulged.

“What if I say no? What if I want to leave?” I grunted, trying to shake free.

“You've had the ability to go all this time. You just don't want to. You know how much love I can give you. You know how much pleasure I can give you as well.” He bit his lip, his eyes snaking up and down my body, “You've known that since yesterday, haven't you?”

Blood rushed to my cheeks, memories of yesterday played in my head.

“And do you know what’s crazy about that? That's not even half the pleasure I can give you.” Colby kneeled next to me, a devilish smile on his lips. His hand lightly brushed my face, cupping my warm cheek sweetly.

A burst of arousal raced through me, my body spasming in ecstasy. “Oh my God!”

“I know, it's a lot to take in. But I just want to make you feel good, darling. You deserve it.” He leaned in slowly, “You are mine, after all.”

"This is what your followers meant by a deep and sensual mental connection," I groaned, feeling hands all over my body, touching me in the most lustful of ways. "You got inside their heads and mentally fucked them."

“...That's one way of wording it. But if they didn't trust me, if they didn't already want me, it wouldn't happen.” He winced playfully, “So in reality, it's your fault.”

“Fuck you.” I growled.

“But baby, that's what's happening,” Colby laughed darkly. “Those hands, those kisses and bites... that's all mine. I can tell you're losing it. You want me real bad, but you don't want to admit it. I get it, you’re overwhelmed.”

I felt like my body was getting electrocuted with pleasure. My hips grinded into the air, needing some form of relief. My nipples strained against my bra, wanting any form of touch. I closed my eyes tightly, embarrassment rolling through me as I felt my damp panties against my sex.

Fuck, he was right. I did want this, and him.

I didn't even need to say it out loud. Suddenly I felt a cock slid inside of me, too easily from how wet I had become. I ripped my eyes open, looking around. Colby was watching me from his chair, smirking.

He palmed his hardening dick through his jeans. “Imagine how much better it would be if I was actually inside of you, filling you up with every. fucking. inch.”

I thought about screaming Trey’s name. Maybe he could help me.

He grimaced, rolling his eyes. “He won’t do anything for you, sweetheart. He joined our group just a couple weeks ago. Right around the time you sent the email. So really, you have all the more reason to join us.”

“Even if I join this cult, I will never stay here. I will leave here and never come back.” I hissed.

“And that is your choice to make. But Y/N,” his gaze lowered at me, his eyes intense. “You will never be satisfied. You got barely a taste of what I can offer you, and you're gonna want it forever. Just like everyone else here.”

“You're a- fuuuuuucckk!” I moaned, the cock inside of me hitting my spot deeper. I caught my breath, glaring at him. “Y-You're a freak.”

“Says the girl almost coming to my invisible dick.” He spat, clenching his jaw.

I bit my lip, annoyed at how right he was. The hands exploring my body gripped my ass, slapping it lustfully.

“Okay, okay. I'll agree with you. I am a bit of a freak of nature. But let's not act like I'm some monster. I let people leave. But they always come back because they choose to. I can't force people that far. Pinky promise,” He stuck his pinky out, and I rolled my eyes defiantly. He huffed, “It's not like this place is Scientology, for Christ's sake. We are love. I am love.”

“You are the most tainted form of love that I've ever met.” I retorted, gripping the rug to hide my building arousal.

He deadpanned, “Ow. That hurt.”

Colby strutted over to me, laying down right beside me. The pleasure grew more intense, my hips bucking desperately. His one hand hovered over me, never touching me. It didn't matter, because having him this close felt like his whole body was on top of mine, fucking me hastily.

“If you allow yourself to enjoy this feeling, you might actually come. Because I won't force you to. I'll just keep you here, for hours, riving in pleasure until your brain melts into goo.” He smirked, “How's that sound?”

"I-I hate you." I gritted my teeth. Why did I feel like I was lying?

"No you don't. But soon you'll be able to admit the truth." He leaned his mouth in close, his voice low and sincere, "I know that this place might not be what you imagined your home to be like, but it is. You will always have a place here. You will always be loved here. And I know that's what you want deep down. To be loved unconditionally. To have every fiber of your being satisfied. And if you let me, I will do that. I will please you every night, however you want me to. But for me to do that, you have to let me in. You have to let love in."

The cock inside of me pounded faster and faster. I could barely think anymore. The only thing on my mind... was him. The lives we had together, the life we could be having. I knew I shouldn't want it, but I did. I wanted him in my life, forever. He was what was missing, and I couldn't live one more day without him.

I mewled loudly, my hips thrusting up erotically. Colby's hand cupped my face gently, turning my head to look him in the eyes.

His alluring eyes stared deep into mine, his jaw clenched. "You will always be mine. I am love, and that is all you could ask for."

"You are love, and that's all I could ask for." I repeated mindlessly, grabbing onto his arm desperately.

His face softened, “That's right baby. You're such a good girl for me. My good girl, forever. You want that, don't you?”

“Yessss, please Colby. I want to be yours forever.” I keened.

"You will be. I promise, you will always be mine." His eyes darkened, the pupils almost completely blown out. "You will never leave."

"I won't!" I trembled, my orgasm building closer and closer to the edge.

“You wanna come, Y/N? Get close for me. Don't I feel so good inside of you? You like when I do this?” Colby's hand snaked down my body, rubbing my clit sensually.

I begged wantonly, dying to come. "Pleaseeeeee! Please let me come! I need it! I need you."

"Of course you do, baby. You and I need each other. Our connection is unlike anyone else's. Tell me the truth and I'll let you come." He leaned in close, his lips brushing against my ear, "Tell me, baby. Say it..."

"I love you," I cried out, right on the edge. I direly wanted him to say it back, knowing it was already the truth.

“I love you too, baby,” he smiled sweetly, kissing my cheek. “Now, come for me.”

Hot, white pleasure shot through my body. I had the strongest orgasm of my life, my mind shattering as I rode every wave of pleasure that went through me. Colby stayed by my side, shushing me as my high lowered down more and more. He kept whispering 'I love you' repeatedly, my mind unable to hear or think anything else after a while.

I blacked out at some point but awoke when my body was lifted off the floor and placed softly into a bed. “Wha... happenin?” I slurred.

“Relax, darling. I just brought you to my bed. Well, our bed now,” he chuckled. “I want you to get your rest because tomorrow is a big day for you.”

“What's tomorrow?” I murmured.

“Your introduction to everyone as my soulmate.” Colby informed happily, tucking me in. “Everyone will be so pleased that you changed your mind about joining us.”

I nodded my head, snuggling deep into his bed. He dimmed the lights, whispering softly, "Welcome home, Y/N."

#colby brock #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fic #colby brock fanfiction #colby brock x reader #colby brock smut #colby brock one shot #colby brock oneshot #golbrocklovely's 13 nights of halloween

[auteurdelabre]

Something to Fight For (Part Ten)

Word Count: 10.0

Pairing: Dad!Joel Miller x f!reader (no use of y/n, no age or physical descriptions)

WARNINGS: Potential trigger of abandonment. Self Pleasure. Brutal conversations.

A/N: The story is gonna twist and turn and you may want to jump ship. But I hope you can trust that as your captain I’m gonna get our two leads to a safe and happy shore.

Hours after the heat has cooled from his veins Joel calls you. With a pounding heart he holds the phone to his ear and silently begs the universe to help him. To have you forgive him his initial devastation. 

You don't answer. 

You're on a train. You're on a plane, he tells himself. You'll call him when you stop.

But you don't. 

For the next two weeks Joel calls you every day leaving messages asking you to explain what's going on. He doesn't ask Maria anything because it feels like an overstep. He don't know how much she knows about you two. 

But he needs to know you're okay. He tells you that he wants to be there for you, that he's sorry he left in a huff. He'll go to wherever you are if you'll just call him back. 

He wants to prove that he'll be there you just need to call him back so he knows if he's overstepping or not. 

He even tries texting. Just one word.

Please.

You never answer him. You don't text or call or make contact with him in any way. 

When at Christmas dinner with Tommy, Maria and Sarah he overhears from Tommy that you've contacted Maria, that you're safe, Joel feels extreme relief and then a crashing devastation.  

On New Years Eve he gets spectacularly drunk and spends hours thinking about you. He considers asking Maria where the fuck you are. He wants an address. He'll fly wherever you are and see you and make you explain. He'll make you listen to him apologize. He'll do anything to be in the warm sun of your smile. 

But when he sobers that first day of a new year and he realizes it's going on week three of radio silence getting you, something starts to shift. 

He doesn't tell Maria or Tommy about you two. Why would he? There's nothing to tell is there? You were never his and he was a fucking idiot for thinking you were. 

Joel doesn't get to have things like Tommy does. Joel gets wives who leave him. Joel works hard and gets things taken from him. 

Over a glum lunch Sarah, who had been so distracted by Christmas gifts and parties and Santa, asks where you are. It's the sight of her concerned face, the panic that you're not coming back that strengthens his resolve. 

For the first time in almost three weeks he doesn't try to contact you. 

///

Then it's January.

You never call.

He stops waiting for you to. 

///

The wheels of your plane touchdown in Austin the first week of February. It's been six weeks since you were last here. 

You've used up all your vacation time. Poor Alex had been called upon to run things the entire time. But you'd called to check in, helping with what you could over the phone. 

You're paler than when you left, your face more pinched. Maria notices this when you exit the airport and approach the car dragging your suitcase behind you. 

"Missed you. Ready to go?"

You nod, letting her embrace you. She knows not to ask anything about your trip. You made that clear on the phone earlier then week. 

She drives you through the nearest Tacodeli to get a breakfast taco, something you've been craving all month. Something you can't get back in Chicago.

You think about returning to work. It seems impossible. Everything seems impossible. 

You swallow your breakfast thoughtfully, your eyes going to Maria driving solemnly. 

 "How are things with Tommy?"

"Good," Maria replies in a voice that sounds tight. You make a mental note to touch on that later. 

"Frank and Bill still adorable as fuck?"

Maria relaxes at this and starts giggling. "Frank wants to plan this big Valentine's getaway and Bill's nagging him about budgeting. Says they spent enough on their Christmas party."

"Valentine's?" Your brows furrows as you observe the rapid passing of time. "Wow I didn't realize how..."

You trail off, biting into your taco and watching the passing scenery. You tilt your head back against the seat, your heart hammering as you think of the next topic you want to touch on but can't.

Joel. 

When you get home Maria orders you to change into the pyjamas she gives you before joining her upstairs. You do so, leaving your suitcase on the bed before opening the bag she gave you to see candy cane nightgown. You laugh, pulling it on and entering into her place smiling widely.

She's decked the entire living room out to look like Christmas. The artificial tree in your place has been brought upstairs, along with all the twinkle lights. 

Maria is wearing a gingerbread man robe and she laughs at your reaction, bringing you over a hot cocoa. 

'Maria," you say motioning to the room. "What the fuck-"

"You missed Christmas!" 

She sits you down cross legged on the sofa before bringing out a large armful of gifts. 

"You still have presents, to open," Maria says dumping the lot into your lap. She sits back in her chair sipping her warm drink and looking on at you like a proud mother on Christmas morning. 

You laugh again before you start tearing into your gifts. A sweater you’d been eyeing and a biography on Jane Goodall. Both from Maria and both perfect.

There at the bottom of the pile is a rectangular box. You're curious as there's no name on the outside, no card. Maria eyes it curiously as you tear the paper open, pausing as you see its contents: two photo frames.

You feel a ragged breath escape you as you bring the frame out of the box, your fingers trembling.

It's the photo of you and your parents. The one from your fifth birthday where your arms are hooked around their necks. The one ruined in the flood, the one you thought you'd lost forever.  

You glance up at Maria's tensed face. 

"Is this from you?"

Maria shakes her head. "Uh, Joel actually asked me to get the photos for you. I called your mom and she had copies."

You stare at the photo, your fingers tracing your youthful face behind the glass. You reach in the box to grab the second frame and are not surprised to see the blurry photo of Pongo you thought was gone forever. 

Your eyes are wet, so filled with tears that when you blink they spill over your warm cheeks effortlessly. 

"When?" 

"Back in September I think? Right after the flood," Maria says as you sniffle. "He asked me not to tell you in case I couldn’t get the photos. Think he said he made the frames himself. Tommy says he likes to wood carve."

He'd done this month's before. Back when you were convinced he still hated you. He'd spent time making the beautifully carved frames for two photos you said meant so much to you. 

"He said he didn't get me anything," you say in a quiet voice. 

Your fingertips are slipping along the wood frame of the photo. Little details have been carved into them. Flowers and hearts for your Mom and Dad. Little butterflies and paw prints for Pongo.

Hours later after the presents have been opened and Maria has forced you to eat the expansive holiday meal that has you feeling sated but bloated. When the sun has set and you feel yourself getting drowsy you take your gifts and go back downstairs.

You put the photos on your fireplace mantle. They’re beautiful there.

Then you crawl into bed, pulling the covers over you.

It's a week and several forced meals and showers from Maria later that you emerge from your cocoon ready to face the world again. 

You know who you want to contact first. 

///

The thing is your last meeting with Joel is kinda blurry. Obviously the night before had been the the sexiest you've ever experienced in your entire life. Joel's face when you told him you needed him in your mouth will be forever etched in the deepest recesses of your brain. 

It's just the next morning that you can't recall. You'd been so tired, so distracted. You know he'd come to get you for breakfast and that you'd told him you couldn't make it. 

But that's all. You hadn't even waited for his reply before your mind had been distracted by thoughts of plane rides and taxis and you'd started closing the door. 

His messages in the following weeks had been devastating. Apologizing for not waiting. His voice rough with emotion as he begged you to call him back. 

The thing is you'd felt no anger towards Joel. Not at all. Him leaving so abruptly had significantly lessened your burden that day. You'd wanted to be alone. 

Before Joel you had Paul and before Paul you'd had yourself. You'd never been able to count on men. And you're confused why Joel carries this heavy burden, as if he thinks he was supposed to come in and chase away your demons.

You never wanted him for that.

You wanted him because in the darkest of days he's the sun.

But now you know that you just have to call him. You tell yourself you don’t have to tell him everything that happened. But you do need to speak to him. He deserves some sort of an explanation.

"Hello?"

After so many weeks of not talking to Joel, just the familiar rumble of his voice causes your insides to melt. Neediness travels through your veins at the first sound of Joel's low rasp. 

You'd thought this was a good idea. A way to phone and explain yourself. But now? Now it seems like the worst thing you could have done. You should have done this in person. You should have done in when you could have held his hand in yours. 

"Uh, hi," you say suddenly anxious. "How are-"

"What do you need?"

Joel's voice is quiet but sharp, stabbing into your ear.   

You hadn't been expecting that. Maybe you were naive, but you'd thought that maybe he'd be kind. Soft and gentle like the Joel you know. 

But of course he's upset. Wouldn't you be? From his perspective you'd promised not to run and then done exactly that. Even if you had a good reason, even if. . . 

Suddenly there's the sound of Sarah in the background and cutlery being placed on the table and you feel your breath leave you. 

Sarah.

Your sweet, little bug. 

Your heart pangs at the sound of her little giggles. You want to be there in the house, hugging her, kissing Joel. You want to be back in their universe. You want that comfort, that security. You want the warmth of being with the Millers.

But in order to do that you need to be honest with Joel. You need to tell him everything even if it hurts.  You can trust him. You can tell him.

"I know it's been a while since we spoke."

Silence. His disinterest is palpable, so much so that you're shocked he answered the phone in the first place.

"I just wanted to explain what happened."

"Not necessary." 

You feel as if you've been slapped across the face. The brutality in how he's speaking feels physical.

"Joel, I just-"

"Are you wanting dessert?"

You feel your stomach bottoming out at the sound of a woman's voice on the other end of the line. Her voice is husky and warm and it sounds like the tone of woman comfortable in her surroundings.

And you know in that moment that it’s too late.

You’re too late.

"Yep, just finishing up here," Joel calls back. There's a pause and you can almost feel his jaw flexing through the phone. "Anything else?"

Disappointment isn't even close to how you feel right now. You close your eyes and feel your chin tremble. 

"Nope," you say quietly shaking your head. "That's everything."

"Bye."

///

Alex is elated to have you back at work. She’s not a demonstrative person by any means, but when you come into the office your first day back with a package of VooDoo Donuts as thanks for her hard work, she wraps you in a tight hug and welcomes you back.

You settle into your office, hanging your jacket and your eyes draw outside to the kennels. They’re built. They look stunning and sturdy and Alex tells you they’ve been able to be used in the time you’ve been gone.

Joel will have no need to come back here. His job is done. Another way he is slowly being pulled out of your world.

When you’re settled in for the day Alex comes into your office and drops a sheet of paper on your desk. She’s smiling widely, almost bouncing on her heels. You read it over twice before the news hits you.

The sanctuary has been approved. The grant is coming your way.

For the first time in weeks, you feel true, untarnished joy.

///

You and Maria are both on your sofa and holding magazines on your laps. This is one tradition that you've never lost over years, the catch up over wine and magazines. 

You like the ones on fashion and movies, Maria likes ones like architectural digest and celebrity gossip. Normally you share the articles that catch your interest, but tonight Maria is withdrawn. You sensed it the moment she came into your suite laden with magazines.

You watch Maria perched on the end of the sofa, her legs curled up underneath her. She's biting the skin around her fingernails, a classic sign that something is wrong and when you prompt her, she turns her large eyes on you and you can see they are filled with tears.

"I'm worried Tommy's cheating on me."

You weren't prepared for that to come out of her mouth. You place your wineglass on the coffee table and fix her with a look you hope conveys your disbelief. 

"What the fuck are you talking about?" 

"He's so busy I never see him and when I do he's so . . . Distracted." Maria sighs heavily. "And he's getting secretive."

This catches your attention and not in a good way. Secretive is not the kind of word you want to hear in a relationship. 

"Like how?"

"I asked him where he was last Friday because he was late picking me up from one of the showings. He told me he had a real long meeting at the Bison. But then I'm having coffee with my real estate friend Melanie on Sunday and she says she saw Tommy that same day in Cedar Park."

"Was he with anyone?"

"Mel says he was with some woman that she didn’t recognize.”

“It was probably a meeting for the company.”

“If it was then why lie about where he was?”

You've never seen Maria like this. She doesn't get like this over men. She's the one to break things off at the first sign of trepidation. With Tommy and Joel's company doing so well she has been seeing less and less of him and it's obviously taking a toll. 

“Tommy is not like that,” you insist, even thought your stomach wobbles. “I see how he is with you. How he looks at you. He’s fucking crazy about you.”

Maria shrugs.

"I’m sure the woman he was meeting with was a client. And he hasn’t been around as much because he's busy with that new army base project," you say patiently. "And you know Tommy and Joel, they're meticulous. They take their time doing everything perfectly. He's probably just so focused on the project now that he can't think of anything else."

Oh yes, the Miller boys take their time. You know from experience with the elder Miller.  

Stop it.

"You're probably right," Maria says but you can tell she doesn't believe you. You want to press it but you don't. Maria knows she can come to you when she's ready. You stand up and go to your record player, popping on one of your favorite vinyls and plopping back onto the sofa. 

Her mood has lifted slightly and she points out a kitchen she’s inspired by. You listen but your mind is far away on Rancher Lane.

Joel.

Fuck, you wish you could stop thinking about him. But now that you've known him in this carnal capacity it seems impossible to go back. You think about his broad shoulders, the way his mouth felt against yours. So soft and warm.

During your time away a few things had become apparent to you and one of those had been that being with Sarah and Joel made you feel contented. Not just when you're watching Sarah, but also in those quiet moments when the three of you are curled up on the sofa watching TV, the laughter over the dinner table, the feel of Joel watching you from the doorframe as you tuck Sarah in. 

And you've fucked it up.  

You ran and you cut yourself off. The clear indication that you weren't interested. He shared the most vulnerable side of himself and you ran. You ran after promising you wouldn't.

Yes, you can blame some of it on the circumstances, but how many times had you looked at the phone and thought of calling Joel only to chicken out? How many times with a tear-streaked face and heavy heart had you reached for the phone as he called only to turn it off?

And now it's too late. You're too late you just know it. You fucked up everything.

Maria watches you go back to your magazine for several moments. She rests her head on her palm as she regards you. 

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened with you and Joel?"

She sees the way your eyes widen as they follow the page.

"Nothing happened, Maria," you say with a heavy sigh.

You can tell Maria most things, but this is a topic that you just want to ignore.

"I know something happened with you two," Maria challenges and all of a sudden you can see her how she must be at work. All business, her face flat. 

"Nothing did," you lie. "What are you talking about?"

You're pissed off. You have no desire to share what happened. You're humiliated at how you handled everything and going over it is just going to make the ache stronger. 

"That night when Joel came up to you at the party. He looked so upset."

"Yeah I remember.” 

"So what did he say?" Maria is leaning forward on her elbows. "Because he asked Tommy to take Sarah home. I was there with Tommy when Joel got home later that night. He was fucking elated. Couldn't stop smiling even when Tommy told him he looked psychotic."

Your heart thumps painfully. Joel was happy about you two. Happy about what was hoping to happen next and you fucked it up. 

You always fuck everything up. 

"Maria I don't want to talk about Joel anymore."

"But-"

"I'm serious," you say. Your tone is harsh, much harsher tone than you have ever used with her. "I've had a horrible couple of weeks and I'm tired of everyone assuming there's something there between Joel and I. There's nothing there. We're barely even friends."

Maria falls silent, adjusting to this information. You can tell she doesn't believe you at first but there's such sincerity to your tone that she's not sure. 

"I have nothing against Joel," you say with finality. "I love babysitting Sarah. But that's it. That's all that'll ever be."

///

It's Wednesday night and you and Alex have decided to go for dinner after work. Alex wants to see more of the places that the locals eat at. You decide on a Mexican place nearby, assuring her it’s the most authentic you've ever tasted. 

You both order drinks, chatting animatedly about the sanctuary when you

Tommy is sitting with a woman around his age. She's very expensive looking and she smiles toothily at Tommy as he speaks excitedly. They’re sitting close to each other, their shoulders almost touching. At the sight of this you feel ever nerve ending in your body pulled tight.

“Gimme a sec,” you mumble to Alex. “I just saw a friend I need to talk to.”

You and Tommy, while peripheral friends, have never talked much or even hung out independently of Maria. So it’s no surprise that as you near his table the first niggles of self doubt touch you.

Maybe it’s all a mistake? A misunderstanding?

Then the woman excuses herself from the table just as you arrive, giving you the perfect moment to strike and so you propel yourself forward.  Without ceremony you toss yourself into the recently vacated seat across from a shocked Tommy Miller.

“I suggest the tamales here,” you say coolly. “They’re great for sharing.”

Tommy looks terrified. His eyes have gone wide. He has papers on the table that he shuffles under his arm.

"W-what are you doing here?"

"Better question is what are you doing here with her?"  You point in the direction of the woman who has just exited the table. 

"It's a meeting about a construction job," Tommy says but you can see the lie in it. "So do you mind-"

You lean forward across the table, your chest almost knocking over the Margarita at Tommy’s elbow.

"If you are screwing around on Maria, Tommy, I will personally see to it that you live the rest of your days as a dick-less wonder. People will come from miles around just to view you and laugh." 

Tommy is staring at you open-mouthed. You realize Tommy and you have never been particularly close. He doesn’t know this side to you. The side that will fight and protect with all she has.

“You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Tommy’s tone is strong but his dark eyes are owlish in his face.

“If you hurt Maria Tommy I swear on all that is holy, I will tear your life apart brick by brick. I will spend every waking moment of the remainder of my life finding out new ways to cause you pain.”

“I would never hurt her,” Tommy insists, looking both agitated and terrified as he sees the woman exiting back from the washroom. “I promise I’ll explain everything to you later. But right now please go before she gets back."

“Why?”

“I can’t-“ Tommy flounders, trying to find the right words. “It’s just, you gotta go.”

"Oh yeah, wouldn't want to spoil your date,” you say with a sneer before picking up the margarita his date has left. “You absolute piece of shit." 

You throw the drink it into his face like something out of a bad sitcom. Tommy stares at you covered in pale yellow drink, bits of salt sticking to his cheeks. A lime wedge flops comically onto the table between you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Tommy’s face has erupted into fury. You go to lunge for him but Alex has you around the middle and she's tugging you back. Tommy’s date has returned, looking between you and Tommy in shock.

"What on earth?" The woman is watching you being dragged away from the table. 

Alex practically carries you out of the restaurant, not letting you go until you’re both buckled into her car. When your heavy breathing has subsided she starts the car, not offering anything but a pointed look and:

“I think you need some new friends.”

///

When you receive a knock on your door later that night you don't expect a Miller man to be standing there.

Unfortunately it's not the right Miller man. 

It's Tommy looking anxious as he greets you. You glare at him, angry and then confused by his presence at your door. He doesn’t smell like margarita so you assume he had a shower at home first.

"Can we talk?"

You consider your next moves. Do you punch him in the face? No, you need all the information. Then if it's as awful as you think it is, then you'll punch him in the face. 

Good plan. 

"Fine. Come in."

You motion to the table, quickly shuffling your paperwork off the chair nearest to him so he can sit. You've just made yourself a cup of tea and offer him one which shakes his head at.

“Don’t really trust you with a drink in your hand,” he cites with a small smirk. “’Specially not a hot one.” 

You don’t say anything to that. When you eventually take the seat across from him he stares at you for what seems like forever. The kind of stare that has a million questions behind it. 

"Tommy what the fuck is going on?" You press him. "Are you cheating on Maria?"

Tommy immediately blanches, almost spilling your tea. "W-what? No. Never. I love her!"

"Because you'll never do better than Maria," you begin to rant. "she's the most perfect most beautiful woman in existence!"

"I know!" 

"She's not just beautiful she's also wickedly smart and if she wanted she could be president, Tommy. Not vice president. Not secretary of state. President.”

"I agree. Everything you said is true."

"Then who was that woman? Why were you being so secretive?" 

Tommy gives you a hard look, his lips pressed together in a thin line. He gives a glance around the kitchen as if expecting spies before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small velvet box. 

"Please don't say anything," Tommy drops his voice to a conspiratorial whisper as he cracks the ring box open. "I'm proposing."

Anxieties about everything are erased the minute you look to the ring box. Inside is a delicately carved gold band and diamond. It's elegant and no nonsense, just like Maria. 

"The woman-"

"A friend from an old job," Tommy assures you, looking down at the ring proudly. "Maria always wanted an heirloom ring. You know how she feels about blood diamonds. But it was hard to find a good one. Then Joel suggested Betty, that's her name, she works in vintage jewellery. Took months of going back and forth before we found this one." 

You feel so fucking stupid. "That's why you were in Cedar Park?”

"How did you know that?"

"Friend of a friend," you say with a sigh. He doesn't need to know that friend was Maria.

“Betty had a lead on a really good piece,” Tommy says with a sigh. “She said I needed to come out to Cedar Park to see it and decide that day because there was another interested buyer. Waste of a fucking drive though ‘cuz it was hideous. Not Maria’s taste at all.”

You look at the ring he decided on, seeing that even in this small token he sees Maria.

"Tommy I'm so sorry."

Tommy's eyes are amused. "Good to know she's got Mike Tyson in her corner. Well, Mike Tyson if he was a bartender."

You move from around the table and throw your arms around Tommy's neck, hugging him and laughing. Every angry thought you'd ever had about him is instantly erased. He gives you a one-armed hug back, laughing along with you.

"Oh my God!" You shout as you pull back. "When? Where?"

"Valentine's Day. It's the only way I can surprise her. She thinks we're going out for a romantic dinner and dancing."

You're swooning, knowing just how Maria is going to react. And now Maria's panic over her "distracted" boyfriend make total sense. You want to laugh and cry all at once, so you decide on smiling with tears in your eyes.

"She's gonna be so happy."

"Sure hope so," Tommy says smiling shyly. "But I need your help to pull out off."

"Me?" You're surprised and delighted. "Of course. Anything you need, just ask."

"Great, is there any chance you're around on Saturday night? It's why I came over."

Tommy smiles over at you looking hopeful. Saturday is Valentine's Day. A day you've been dreading since Paul broke things off last spring and Joel stomped all over your heart.  

You had plans that involved a bath, a big glass of wine and discounted chocolate. But of course this plan will be moved happily for your dearest friend and her future fiancé. 

"Sure, what for?"

"I need you to babysit Sarah."

The smile immediately dies on your face. You lean back in your chair, your eyes drifting to your mug. 

" Is Joel helping you propose or something?"

"No, he’s just busy that night." 

Of course Joel would take a meeting on Valentine's Day night. You give a half-hearted chuckle at the thought. 

"Did you tell him you're proposing? Can't he just cancel his meeting that night? Who meets on Valentine's anyway?"

"It's not a meeting," Tommy says, still smiling at the ring box. "It's a date."

The world tilts. You physically feel it spin on its axis as Tommy tells you this. The woman you heard on the phone. You were right. You were fucking right. That horrible pit in your stomach, the one you’ve been trying to ignore, widens.

"A date?" You say before you can stop yourself. "Joel?"

Tommy gives a quirked brow at your response. "Yeah. Some mom of a kid Sarah has play dates with all the time." 

The twist in your gut takes your breath away. You feel cold and shaky and have to sit down. Tommy is so wrapped up in his dilemma that he doesn't notice. 

You know who he's talking about. Fuck, you've even seen her. You can't remember the name right now but you remember the way she'd smiled at Joel when he came to pick Sarah up. You can vividly recall the casual way her hand had brushed against the small of his back. 

Tess. Yes that was her name. 

"They've been going out a few weeks and this kinda stuff is important to him," Tommy explains with a soft look as he pockets the ring. "Joel has always done everything for me. Sacrificed everything when our mom got sick. Bailed me out when things got too much. I think he really likes Tess and I don't wanna fuck it up for him." 

I think he really likes Tess.

Really likes Tess.

Jesus Christ that's like a blow to the sternum. You place a steadying hand to the table. 

Tommy takes a seat across from you, his dark eyes filled with concern. 

"You okay? If you're not feeling well please don't feel pressured. If you can't babysit I'll just reschedule, it's -"

His voice fades into the background as you think of your friend. Maria has done so much for you and she deserves the world. 

One awkward evening, that's all it is. And you'll get to see Sarah. Plus your best friend will be getting engaged. How can you possibly say no?

You can't. 

"Of course I'll babysit," you interrupt with a croak. "What time should I be there?" 

///

Later that night as you lay curled in bed sobbing you hear the gentle chirp of your phone. 

You sniff as you flip it open and bring it up to your face. 

Any chance u wanna get together for coffee? Chat?

You pause, looking at the text before closing the phone. 

You don’t delete it.

/////

Joel doesn't know how to function this week. 

You called him finally, after weeks and weeks of silence. Just the sound of your voice had made his knees tremble. He'd had to reach for the kitchen counter, holding himself upright. 

When later that week Tommy tells him about his engagement plans and having you babysit Sarah, Joel initially balks at the idea. He'll reschedule with Tess - she's a practical woman, she'll understand.

But Tommy had been insistent, telling Joel he didn't want to fuck this up for him. Tommy is so rarely earnest like that it had made Joel relent. 

And now you're coming tomorrow and he's what? Supposed to act like everything is fine? 

Fuck that.

Sarah is asleep and Joel has been drinking. He does that more often now. Not enough to be a real concern, but enough that he notices. He calls you without pausing to check if it's too late to call. You answer on the first ring. 

“Hello?”

"Hey."

Joel closes his eyes, a wide hand going over them. Your voice is so sweet in his ear. "Hey I’m sorry if I was a bit short when you called the other day. You surprised me is all and I had company over."

"Oh. Okay."

You sound so sad. He can imagine you sitting in bed, covers around you as he talks. 

“Glad you got home safe,” Joel offers awkwardly, wondering how he thought this conversation could ever go smoothly.

“Yeah, it’s good to be back.”

"Why didn't you call me? I left so many-" Joel catches himself, embarrassment covering him before he’s compelled to continue. "Is it your dad? Your mom? Or was it something else? Paul?”

Joel can't stop himself from asking more and more questions. He needs to know why you did this. He just needs closure. He hears your breathing on the line, shallow and tense. 

"I really don't want to talk about it Joel," you eventually say and that hollow, empty voice is back. The same one he'd heard that day he came to get you for breakfast. 

"Right."

Joel knows there are tears gathering at the corner of his eyes and he blinks them back. As much as he wants to talk to you right now, it hurts. Too much trust has been dismantled on both sides. 

Sarah's anxious face when she asked where you were? He can't have that for his daughter. He can't risk everything on a woman who'll run and leave nothing but silence in her wake.

Maybe if he was a young, childless bachelor he'd do it. He'd pursue you and convince you to tell him everything, to confide in him. But he's not young or childless. And you’re not telling him.

"I had my reasons, I just never told you what they were," you continue with a tremble in your voice. 

"Why?"

“It’s my choice to tell people things when I want to tell them. And I wasn’t ready. Still don’t think I am.”

He wants to push it. He wants to be in that room with you, his hands on either side of your face, forcing you to look at him. Forcing you to tell him what you’re hiding from him. He thinks he knows and it makes him sick. But he needs the confirmation.

"Joel, it's not supposed to be this hard, is it?"

"What isn’t?" Joel's stomach clenches when he hears your shuddering breath. 

"Being together." 

Initially Joel doesn't know what to say to that.  “We're we really ever together?"

There's a thoughtful pause and then your sad little voice again. 

"No. Guess not."

Joel feels absolutely sickened by this entire conversation. He didn't know what he'd expected when he called you, but it definitely wasn't this. This grim finality.

"I think I hoped if I just came back that things'd go back to how they were," you're saying in a voice no longer hollow, but still not completely you. "But I guess they can't." 

"No," Joel acknowledges quietly. "I guess they can't."

"But maybe we can try friendship?"

A stab to the abdomen would have hurt Joel less. He physically recoils, his eyes slamming shut. 

Friendship? He’s supposed to go back to being your friend? 

"I don't know," Joel answers through closed eyes. "I don't know if I can. Not quite yet."

Joel evens his breathing, knowing that there’s nothing else to say to save the two of you but dreading the act of hanging up, of severing the final tie. Then your voice reaches out to him, tentative across the line.

"Can I still see Sarah? Can I still babysit tomorrow night?"

Joel is quiet for a long while considering. 

"Yeah. Sarah would love to see you."

//////

Saturday night arrives and with it a bundle of nerves you can't seem to shake. 

Rancher Street.

The bus lurches to a stop and you hasten an exit, pulling your purse up your shoulder. The door seems larger than you remember. Taller. When you knock it feels like it echoes forever. The door opens with a quick whoosh and you hold your breath as two familiar dark eyes slide into view. 

Joel.

You see the flash of something in those eyes, something warm as they sweep over you before the chill is abruptly back. 

"C'mon in," he says, the tone of his voice unreadable. 

He's painfully gorgeous. There's no other word for it. His hair is combed, his shirt freshly pressed. He smells like cologne, an expensive, spicy scent. It makes you want to bury your face in his neck.

He never usually wears cologne. He usually smells like wood shavings and laundry detergent. 

The knowledge that he's wearing it for her, Tess, makes you want to heave. 

Tess. What a stupid fucking name.

You follow Joel into the kitchen and feel your stomach drop. On the counter is a bouquet of deep red roses wrapped beautifully. You don't have to be a genius to figure out these ones are for Tess. He's pulled out all the stops for her. 

It wasn't so long ago Joel was bringing you flowers. 

He's not even wearing jeans tonight; he's actually got dark slacks on for this date. He looks so fucking good, so divine, it causes you to physically ache. You remember how his curls felt under your fingers, the taste of his lips on yours. You want to kick yourself for fucking this up. 

"Work been good?" Joel asks with his eyes on the clock. 

"Yeah, just busy," you offer feeling awkward. "Got a meeting with the city next month about the sanctuary. Looks like we got the funding."

"That's good."

"Mhmm."

You could cry over how awful this interaction is. How stilted and awkward the two of you look and sound standing across from one another in the kitchen. 

Grateful doesn't even touch on how you feel when Sarah suddenly skids into the kitchen. She screeches, throwing her arms around your waist tightly until you give a small "oof". You curl, hugging her gently. 

"How have you grown so much?" You ask in awe, shocked that not even two months could make such a difference. You could swear she looks taller. 

"I got a My Little Pony for Christmas," she announces, not caring to answer your question. "You wanna see?"

"Sure."

She goes to her seat at the table and pulls out the pink and purple pony before announcing: "I named it after you."

"You did?"

"Yeah. I missed you."

Sarah is smiling up at you in a way that brings tears to your eyes. You blink them back, cupping her cheek with your hand.

“I missed you too, bug.”

After everything this is one of your biggest regrets. Your isolation from everyone included Sarah, the sweetest child to walk the planet.

You had forgotten Joel was still there, watching you both until you hear him clear his throat. 

"I'll be back around midnight. Emergency numbers are by the phone, like usual. Pizza should be here pretty soon."

"Okay."

Sarah clamours up on the chair, sliding into the booster seat with your help. You smile down at her, chatting away to her pony. In your peripherals you watch Joel pull on his jacket and grab the bouquet of flowers from the counter. 

In another life maybe those would have been for you. 

In another life maybe it could have worked between you two. 

You hear him walk towards you along with the crinkling of the cellophane wrapped flowers. He comes to stand next to your seated form. He's so close you could tilt your head and rest it on his hip.

You smile as you see his hands come into view, watching as he passes one of the roses to Sarah by the stem, making sure to strip it of it thorns first. 

"Happy Valentine's Day, babygirl," he says with a kiss to the top of her head. Sarah takes the flower gleefully, pressing the lush petals to her nose and inhaling. 

"Okay daddy, you can leave now," Sarah tells him calmly. You laugh at her bluntness and catch Joel's dimpled smile in response. 

"Guess now that your best friend is here again, poor ol' dad's just second fiddle," Joel says with an exaggerated frown as he motions to you. 

"It's not your fault," you assure him as you smooth Sarah's hair with your hands. "I'm just that wonderful. Right, Sarah?"

"Right."

She really is just the best kid. 

Joel doesn't reply to that, but then again you never expected him to. The tension from before seems to be ebbing, it's almost like things are slowly going back to how they were before.

This is good.  This means there’s hope.

Joel watches you stand and move across the kitchen. You go to pull down some plates for the pizza from the cupboard. When you turn to go back to the table you're surprised to see Joel is still standing there looking at you. 

You feel your heart picking up its tempo. But then his phone buzzes on his hip and you know without asking that it’s Tess messaging him. Immediately you feel your heart retreat from your gaze and you force a smile.

"Have fun tonight."

Joel nods, presses one more kiss to Sarah's head and then he's gone out the door. You hear his truck rumbling away and only then do you breathe normally again. 

The pizza arrives shortly after and you inform Sarah that if she's really good and eats the salad that came with it, she can eat dessert in front of the TV later on. She is very amenable to this suggestion. 

"Daddy is seeing Miss Tess," Sarah tells you as she takes a bite of her cheesy slice. “She was here before.”

He's already brought her into this home?

Of course she has you moron. She's seen Daniel and Tess at school how many times? How many play dates?

"Daniel's mommy," Sarah says in a hushed voice, frowning when you don’t reply. You feel your stomach bottoming out at this. Your eyes widen before you school your features, staring at the oblivious girl opposite you. 

"Does Miss Tess come here a lot?"

Sarah ignores your question and instead starts babbling about something happening with Daniel's hamster, Zippy. You hold back the desire to keep peppering her with questions. 

However she continues to drop little hints throughout your evening together. The next one comes when you're in the kitchen washing up from dinner. Sarah sits at the counter with her paper and crayons making some elaborate hearts on the page. A Valentine for her dad, she tells you later. 

"That's the cup Miss Tess used," Sarah says pointing to the oversized green mug you're soaping. Joel's favorite mug. 

It takes everything in you not to smash the thing into pieces. Two months ago he had his mouth between your legs, now he's bringing some new woman here?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"What's Miss Tess like?" You ask, trying to sound casual as you wash the dishes in the sink. 

"Tall."

That's all you get from her for now. She continues coloring and you continue doing the dishes in silence. You catch your reflection in the dark window in front of you and are shocked at how devastated you look. 

It was just a night. A night of pleasure. You didn't make lifelong promises to one another. You admitted mutual attraction and need, that's all. And even if it's not all from your side of things, Joel has clearly moved on. And you can’t be mad at him for doing so.

When you finish up, Sarah is putting the last finishing touches to her card before gripping it in her tiny hand and holding it out to you.

"You have to give this to Daddy when he gets home. It's my Valentine for him."

You look at the little pink envelope covered in Snoopy stickers and smile. You take it from her, seeing her uneven printing on the front. Love. That's all it says. You smile fondly at her. You idly wonder if she’s too young for a ‘romantic love is an illusion’ conversation.

"I think you should give it to him when you wake up tomorrow," you offer.

"No." Sarah looks uncharacteristically agitated. "It can't be tomorrow. Tomorrow isn't Valentine's Day."

You give a sharp nod, making your face solemn to convey you understand the gravity of delivering this missive. 

"I see."

"Promise me you'll give the card to my Daddy tonight?"

"I will."

"Promise," she says holding up a tiny pinky in your direction. "A real promise."

You hook your pinky around her tiny digit and shake, smiling. "I promise, Sarah." 

"Good." 

The next 'Miss Tess' tidbit comes as you're putting Sarah to bed. She's watching you rifle through the books on her shelf. 

"Miss Tess has light hair. Lighter than yours."

"Hmm," you say bringing a few book over to her bed. "Wind and the Willows again or Charlotte's Web?"

You decide that you don't want to hear anything more about 'Miss Tess'. In fact you don't want to hear anything more about Joel or whomever he decides to date ever again. 

You have to close your heart to him or this will be the last time you'll see Sarah. The last time you'll read to her, last time you'll laugh with her. 

It'll be the last time you can join Maria and Tommy at theirs for a party that the whole family is invited to.

It'll be the last time you can venture upstairs to Maria's without fear that Joel might decide to drop by.

Because you have no right to be upset. You don't. You kissed him, let him make you come and then ignored him for almost two months. What was he supposed to do? Know the crazy inner workings of your fucked up brain? Know the sordid story of your horrible life? 

No. You need to be happy for him and for Sarah. If this Tess woman is as great as everyone makes it seem, then you have to be happy for Joel and Sarah. 

You have to. 

"I missed you reading," Sarah tells you when you bring the blanket up to her chin, tucking her in an hour or so later. "I like it when you read best 'cuz you do the voices right."

You try not to feel unnecessarily smug about that. 

You tuck her in, feeling distracted as you press a quick kiss to her forehead. She can sense that the nighttime routine is coming to a close because her tiny hand reaches out to grab your sweater. 

"Say 'goodnight, bug'" she prompts you.

"Goodnight bug," you say pressing another peck to her forehead. "Get some sleep." 

Sarah nods, closing her eyes and rolling on her side. You can hear her murmur something to toad and you smile as you close her bedroom door. 

You walk down the creaking hallway, ready to walk down and watch TV. But as you pass Joel's room and you see his door is ajar you pause. 

Joel's room. You remember how in awe you had been the first time you saw it. How surprised by every detail. Now in the dark of night it seems alluring and seductive. It beckons you to explore, to touch. 

You draw over to it, your hand moving independent of your brain to pull the door completely open before stepping inside and closing the door tightly behind you. 

The first time you’d seen his room there had been lotion on beside table, a horse picture above the bed. Now the lotion is gone, the side of his table cleaned. The horse picture is still there though, calling out for all weary travelers. 

You step in further, your eyes going over the books on his shelves, the fan that hasn’t been used since the summer. You trace your hand along the exercise bike in the far corner, a towel draped over it. Does he use it?

You sit on the edge of his bed, pulling open the drawer next to it. You think you might see something interesting inside. Your curiosity is peaked. It opens with ease and it takes you a full moment to realize what you’re looking at.

It’s the guitar strap and pick you got him for Christmas.

This sight causes you to leap to a standing position. Joel kept the gift? He must have picked it up when you weren’t looking, dazed on the sofa. But he kept it? Still? Why is it hidden away?

You don’t want to think about that for too long. Maybe he’s hidden it because Tess will ask him where he got it. He doesn’t want her to see it. He wants to pretend you never existed to him.

You stop. You’re hurting your own feelings.

You see one of Joel's t-shirts hanging over the dresser. He'd obviously tried on a few before deciding on the linen one for tonight. 

He made the right choice, you acknowledge. He'd looked amazing tonight. Memories of how good he'd looked are making your lower abdomen flip pleasurably. A depraved need washes over you.

You feel as if you're watching yourself from outside your body as you lock Joel's door before striding back across the room.

"Stop," you murmur to yourself even as you lower yourself onto his recently made bed. It's surprisingly soft.

You settle back against the pillow, your hands on either side of you like you're in a plush coffin. 

He's touched himself in this bed, you just know it. You can picture his work wide hands stroking himself to completion. A man like Joel feels deeply, works hard and has needs.  

Fuck you want to be the one to sate those needs and you never will be. But you don't let your thoughts linger there. You want to enjoy this stolen moment. 

You turn your head on the pillow, your eyes sliding shut as you inhale. It smells masculine, deep and musky mingling with the scent of his shampoo and laundry detergent. 

It smells like Joel. 

And that is what makes it impossible to stop. Because when you close your eyes you can almost imagine he's there with you. You can imagine that he came back the next day after the party and everything was fine. You can imagine that he’d backed you into your place and fucked you there on the floor, the both of you too desperate for each other to make it to the bed.

Your fingers are fumbling with the button and zipper of your jeans before your hand is thrust under your panties in a fervor. 

Flashes of memory and fantasy intersect, bursting in searing snapshots into your mind. Joel's hands on either side of your face as he kisses you. His mouth on your neck as he fucks you in this very bed. His brows knitted together as you suck his cock. His tongue skating over your nipples. The feel of his soft mouth on your twitching core.

This is so fucked up. You know this, you're so painfully aware of how fucked up this is. And yet you can't stop yourself from thrusting into your hand, from murmuring his name over and over. You whimper his name like an oath, a desperate, needful prayer as you feel his phantom touch.  

All at once the memory of Joel's head between your thighs assaults you and you see stars. 

Your head is thrown back as you come, your moans muffled by the hand you've sealed over your mouth. When your hips finally stutter to a stop the shame hits you like a slap in the face. 

What the fuck is wrong with you?

You readjust your jeans, throwing yourself from the bed with a yelp. You rush to the bathroom, washing your trembling hands. You can't even look at your reflection right now because you know what you'll see. Cheeks stained with humiliation, shame clear in your features and overwhelming regret in your eyes. 

You go downstairs and force yourself to watch bad TV. You have it on quietly and even though you try to focus on what’s happening and why some beautiful woman would be married to some loud-mouthed lout who works as a delivery driver, you can’t.

All you can think about is the passing of time. How late it’s getting. You keep tilting your head to look at the clock hanging by the kitchen. Then your watch because you’re certain the kitchen clock must be moving slowly.

Nope.

Eventually it’s past midnight. Joel had said he would be home at midnight, hadn’t he? You start to feel irritated. You’re here babysitting Joel’s kid and he’s definitely off fucking Tess. You’re certain of it. 

Your thoughts don’t linger there long because an ungodly scream has sounded from upstairs. A heart-wrenching scream with your name in it. You nearly trip over your own feet running up the stairs, your heart in your chest. The door to Sarah’s room is yanked open so viciously you’re convinced you pulled it off its hinges.

“Sarah!”

She’s sitting up in bed shuddering and holding toad. She bursts into tears when you rush in, her arms reaching for you as you approached. You throw yourself onto the bed, pulling her tiny frame into your lap. She throws her arms around your neck, her sobs loud in your ear, her face wet with her tears as you rock her back and forth.

“Shh,” you soothe gently. “I’m here, honey. I’m here. You’re safe.”

You rock her like this for several moments, listening as her sobs become hiccups and then finally just ragged breaths as she pulls back from you, looking up at you from your lap.

“Wanna tell me what happened, bug?”

“Someone hurt my Daddy,” Sarah says and you can see the tears starting again. “He was in the forest and someone took him. They hurt him.”

You hold her tightly to you again, making soothing sounds and rubbing her back. “No one’s gonna hurt your Daddy, I promise.”

Time passes and eventually Sarah is calmed enough to climb back into bed. She looks to you with her big eyes, terrified in the dark as you bring the blanket to her chin.

“Will you sing me a song?" Sarah begs. "A nice one."

You give a good natured groan, thinking back to songs you know all the lyrics to. You remember the song Bill sang to Frank that one evening, the sweetness of Bill's reedy voice. You can't remember all the words but you know the tune. You start of at what you remember, tucking Sarah in for the second time that night. 

Caught in my fears

Blinking back the tears

I can't say you hurt me

When you never let me near

And I never drew one response from you

All the while you fell all over girls you never knee

"What does that mean?" Sarah interrupts. 

"I think it means that the girl singing is in love with a man but he doesn't know she exists," you say trying to piece the song together. "So she's really sad about it."

Sarah nods, her eyes starting to shutter. "Keep going."

You laugh, trying to remember your place. You hum a few bars, trying to recall where you left off. 

Cause I've done everything I know

To try and change your mind

And I think I'm gonna miss you

For a long long time

You really go for it, your voice clear and strong. As you sing your fingers trail over Sarah's forehead, lulling her to sleep. 

Cause I've done everything I know

To try and change your mind

And I think I'm gonna love you

For a long long time

Your voice drops to a whisper as you sing the final verse. Sarah's eyes are almost all the way closed. 

"Goodnight Sar-" 

"Do you love me?" 

You're not expecting the way her tiny voice reaches you in the semi darkness. It takes your breath away, tears starting in the corner of your eyes. You swallow the knot that has formed there. 

You look down at her little face and feel the answer is so obvious. Has been for months now. 

"Yeah," you answer truthfully. "I do."

Sarah smiles widely, gripping your hand in hers with her eyes still shut. "Will you sing the last part one more time?"

Oh she’s a good little manipulator.

"One more time," you insist with a faux grumble. "Then sleep!"

She nods and you sing a very quick very quiet rendition of the last verse before pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

"Deals a deal, bug."

"I like that song," Sarah nods sleepily before craning her neck to look at her bedroom door. "Do you like it, daddy?"

Your breath catches as you jerk your head over your shoulder to see Joel leaning in the doorway of Sarah's room. His arms are crossed over his broad chest. You can't see his eyes, but you know he's looking at you. 

"I didn't know you were there," you say feeling your cheeks reddening. 

"Didn't want to interrupt," Joel says softly.

"Sarah had a nightmare," you say standing quickly. You feel like you should offer something else but you stand awkwardly instead before you sail past him, heading downstairs. You hope he can't see the pink high in your cheekbones. 

Joel enters the kitchen minutes later, his dark gaze focused on you. 

You want to ask him how the date went. Obviously they've been seeing each other longer than just tonight if Sarah is anything to go by. How long exactly was it after he kissed you that he fell in with Tess? Tommy didn't say. Have they slept together yet? Has he said the same things to Tess as he said to you as he worked his mouth between her legs?

Doesn't matter. Not your business.

"She was really good tonight," you tell him as you look for your jacket, locating it in the kitchen. Your eyes fall on the pink envelope from earlier.

"Before I forget, this is for you," you say sliding the thick Valentine card to him across the kitchen counter. "Sarah was adamant I give it to you before I left." 

Joel looks distracted. He would normally be opening the card to see what his daughter created. But instead he just stares at it on the counter. 

When you stop to look at him you notice he actually looks quite pissed off. This confuses you. He reaches into his back pocket to grab his tan leather wallet.

"Are you ok-"

"You can't tell her stuff like that," Joel interrupts gruffly pulling the bills from his wallet. 

"What do you mean?"

"That you love her." Joel's eyes finally reach yours when he says it. "She can't have women saying they love her, comin' in and out of her life-"

"Who says that's what I'm doing?" you ask offended. 

"It was bad enough with her mother," Joel is ignoring you, talking over you and looking upset. 

"I'm not her mother," you defend. You would never do what that woman had done to Sarah. 

"Damn right you're not."

His eyes are blazing and for a moment you think this might be the cruellest thing Joel Miller has ever said to you. 

He tosses the wrinkled bills at you on the table and you hold back the overwhelming urge to slap him. Instead you clench your jaw, levelling a scorching glare at him.  

Joel leans over the counter, his hands braced there. He can't look at you. 

You stare him down furiously for a moment longer nonetheless before pulling on your jacket and heading out the door, leaving the money beside the Valentine on the counter.  

It's not until you're at home in bed that you allow yourself to cry. 

[kokomyass]

Megumi Fushiguro ☆ 'Aight Bet'

Megumi x Fem!Reader

Genre: ☁️

Word Count: 2648

Trigger warnings ⚠️: swearing, none!

synopsis: in which, everyone is betting on the things you and Megumi have done (not sexually....) but they have had enough and take things to a new level...

a/n: WHEREVER THAT SWEET SWEET ANON IS THAT REQUESTED THIS....KNOW THAT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU 💜

I did my best for you, and wherever you are, I hope you really like it and enjoy it! p.s it wasn't cringe at all, cause I remember you apologising 😉🥰

this is slightly based on the bonus ending of 'Nightmares' fanfic but not the same story if ygm?

You can go and read nightmares here!

Second person POV

"Bet you guys, 2000¥ they have held hands."

"Aight bet! I bet you 3000¥ they have hugged!"

It was the training session in Tokyo Jujutsu High and you and Megumi were sparring as you had been put in a pair.

However, for the rest of the students this was more of a gossip session.

The thing is everyone ships you and Megumi, it is pretty clear to see you like each other from a third person perspective but you are both too dense to notice each other's feelings.

It was true, you did have the biggest crush on Megumi and you thought you played it pretty cool but there is no denying you do stare at him as much as you can whenever you get the chance.

However, on the other hand, Megumi was rather obvious with his crush towards you, not because he was trying to be, but because he is unconsciously 100x nicer to you compared to the rest of Jujutsu High.

Nobara and Yuji had been going back and forth splurging their whole bank accounts on betting on the amount of romance that both you and Megumi had engaged in with each other.

"Guys, on a serious note...how fucking dense are they like...look at how they are sparring..." Maki scoffed and she folded her arms smirking, nodding her head to you and Megumi sparring with passion and a lot of physical contact.

"Wasn't that like you and Yuta in first year though?" Panda chirped up, raising an eyebrow to Maki.

"Salmon." Inumaki agreed with Panda nodding.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Maki shouted, huffing and denying all allegations.

"I do see Maki's point...I wish we could make them confess when they have no choice....." Yuji mumbled as everyone nodded silently agreeing with Yuji.

"Why wish when we can actually do it!" Gojo randomly came up behind the students, hands on his hips, looking awfully mischievous.

"Where did you come from?" Maki asked feeling genuinely confused.

"I do agree with you guys that these two lovebirds need to get together, fast....so I'm thinking we set up a little party that only they are invited too!" Gojo completely ignored Maki as he explained his oddly well thought out plan to the students.

"Hmm, that's actually a good idea...but what if they still don't do anything?" Panda asks.

"Good point my fellow Panda..." Gojo placed a finger on his chin pondering the solution to the dilemma Panda brought up.

"I know! I will write a simple riddle for them to read and hopefully they will get the memo and say their vows and stuff!" Gojo clapped his hand together as he came up with the 'perfect plan'

As everyone was still discussing the plan to get you and Megumi together once and for all you both started walking up to the group.

"Hey guys! Whatcha talking about?" you asked walking up with a smile next to Megumi, both of you completely oblivious to the evil plan that has been made.

Everyone went awkwardly silent making you slightly worried.

"Um are you guys okay?" you asked worry laced in your voice as you started feeling self conscious.

"Y/N!! Megumi! I was just telling everyone how I'm arranging a small party for us all tomorrow to celebrate togetherness!" Gojo swiped both you and Megumi into a side hug smiling ecstatically.

"Oh my that's going to be so fun! I can't wait!" you giggled as you felt very excited as you rarely got to do things like this in school.

"...do I have to go?" Megumi grumbled shrugging himself off Gojo, walking off slowly. This immediately made you feel sad. Whilst all the other students felt panicked as the plan was already failing.

"Megumiiiii pleaseeeee! It will be so fun, trust me and if it isn't I will treat you to whatever you want!" you grabbed onto Megumi's hand shaking it as you were practically begging him.

Obviously he couldn't say no as his ears dusted a light pink and he stuttered slightly.

"F-Fine, I'm only going because you said so...." he looked away as you gave him a big hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank youuu!!" you let go and smiled at him warmly as he smiled back. "Let's go get some drinks from the vending machines."

You and Megumi left the group without another word as they all stayed silent for a bit.

"Hey Yuji?"

"Yeah Nobara?"

"You owe me 2000¥"

"Well you owe me 1000¥"

Time skip!

The next day arrived quickly and you found yourself feeling jittery and excited.

Today was the day of the little party and you felt this was your opportunity to have Megumi really appreciate your beauty whilst pretending you didn't spend 3 hours deciding what to wear.

You also wanted to be fashionably late so you didn't seem like a loser for wanting to be so early.

Gojo had said the theme was fancy, so of course you wore the fanciest dress you owned with some fancy makeup and hair.

You couldn't wait to see Megumi all suited up, the thought made you kick your legs and giggle to yourself.

You decided that you would leave now walking through the dorm corridors to the classroom that Gojo said the party would be in.

Funnily enough, as you arrived to the door, Megumi arrived at the same time and your eyes widened at how amazingly handsome he looked.

He was a fine piece of art. The suit he wore suit him so much it hurt and for some reason his eyelashes made you fold.

Megumi took a moment to take you, in his mouth slightly open from shock at the beauty beholded right in front of his eyes.

"You look....beautiful Y/N." Megumi said to you as if he spoke faster than his mind could register.

You face burned red as you looked away giggling slightly before looking back at him.

"Thank you Megumi, you look ever so handsome too" it was Megumi's turn to blush as he smiled lightly rubbing his neck and looking a away his cheeks flushed pink.

"Shall we go in?" after a bit of silence Megumi gestures for you both to go in the oddly quiet room.

Megumi held the door open for you as you gave a small 'thank you' and he entered after you but in the room, no one and nothing was there only a table and a note.

"Um Megumi-" you turn back to see Megumi behind you looking as confused as you.

Suddenly you heard a door lock as you instinctively reached for Megumi's arm as he pulled you close.

"It's okay im sure it isn't really locked." Megumi went to try and open the door. No luck.

"Oh dear...what's going on?" you look around feeling your arm hairs stand on end.

"Maybe we can read through that note there, I bet Gojo sensei is just messing around with us..." you nodded and move close to Megumi as you both approach the letter.

Megumi picks up the letter and opens it.

"If by dawn, you confess without waver, then you will not have to fear the power of the taser?..." Megumi sounded genuinely confused at the weird riddle that made no sense as you snorted.

"I don't know if I am more confused or scared right now..." you both chuckle together.

"Well, I guess we should confess something? Maybe a secret or something? So we don't get...tasered?" Megumi says still sounding extremely uncertain but you shrug it off desperate to find out what is going on.

You then realised you were alone with Megumi. In a locked room. The thought made you blush and smile softly.

"Erm, earth to Y/N?" Megumi waved his hands infront of your face as you snapped out of your thoughts realising you got a bit too lost in them.

"Yes your right! Sorry I zoned out....hmm maybe a game of truth or dare? I can't lie this shit makes no sense to me..." you sighed placing a hand on your forehead, whatever were the others thinking?

"I second that...I'm not surprised...Gojo is an odd specimen." Megumi deadpanned, making you laugh loudly.

"You aren't wrong there....anyways sit down!" you grabbed Megumi's shoulder and sit him on the couch in the back of the room, and you sit next to him as you both turn so you're facing each other.

"Okay! Truth or Dare?!" you smiled widely feeling too excited about this game. To be honest, your plan was to see if Megumi liked anyone and if there was any chance it could be you.

"Ummm truth?"

He was falling in your trap.

"Do you like anyone~? And for what reason?" Megumi's eyes widened and his cheeks and ears turned a light pink.

"...Yes....because she is pretty, kind, soft-spoken, easy to get on with and makes me genuinely happy" Megumi mumbled his whole answer looking away from you at all times, despite the small genuine smile that graced his lips.

Despite his reluctance to answer, Megumi couldn't hide how much he liked you, because you were so perfect in his eyes.

"Oh my!!! That's so kind, whoever gets with you is a lucky girl!" you chuckled as you playfully pushed his arm.

"Thanks...now, your turn truth or dare." Megumi sighed feeling relief as he nearly exposed himself.

"Hmm I shall go with truth!"

"Do you like anyone and if so why?" you smiled softly and shut your eyes.

"Of course I do! He can be a bit grumpy sometimes...but he is honestly such a kind person and he makes me feel all weird inside, but also makes me feel safe." you opened your eyes staring into Megumi's eyes as Megumi gave a forced smile back.

At the moment, in Megumi's mind his heart felt crushed. You liked someone....and the person who fit that criteria was Nanami. How in the hell? You were wayyy younger than him....maybe you were into older men, he couldn't deny his amazingly good and chisled looks, but even so-

"Megumi!! It's your turn!" you interrupted Megumi's thoughts as you tapped his cheek softy to get his attention.

"O-Oh my bad...dare?" he chose dare because he didn't want you to make him confess his unrequited love for you.

"I dare you to tell me who you like!" you smiled innocently as Megumi stared at you shocked, as if he had been stabbed in the gut.

"Y-You can't do that! That's not how the game works!" Megumi started scooting back as he sweatdropped. You just inched closer and closer.

"It is a dare. You have to do it. No backing out." you caged Megumi, with his back resting on the arm of the couch, your hands resting either side of him.

Megumi sighed in defeat. What was the worst that would happen? He gets awkward around you and you friendship is over? That's pretty bad...oh well...

"...you..." Megumi looked away as your eyes widened and you backed up from shock.

"Wait what?"

"....I said you, but I know you don't like me back, I can see why Nanami is in your agenda..." Megumi started rambling.

All those things he said, were about you? You smiled the most genuinely happy smile at Megumi making him look at you wide eyed and confused.

"Megumi, I like you too! What are the odds huh?" you spontaneous wrapped your arms around him squeezing him tight as he slowly wrapped his arm around you, the other arm keeping his body up on the couch.

"Wait so you don't like Nanami?" you pulled away as you gave Megumi the most confused look of the century before you burst out laughing

"Oh Megumi~ why would you think that? How could I ever do that....kinda sketchy no?" you pinched his cheek teasing him as he flushed an even brighter red.

"Well I thought he fit the criteria when I asked you why you liked them..." you smiled warmly at Megumi, your cheeks going pink.

"That was all you Megs. I honestly do really like you and admire you, I'm glad that you're in my life." you held his hands tightly as he squeezed back.

"I-I could say the same to you. You are so beautiful and kind and...and I really do like you. Sorry for thinking you like Nanami...." you giggled again, going in for another hug.

"It all okay, maybe next time don't be so dense." You pulled away and pinched his nose.

You faces were inches away from each other and you desperately wanted to kiss him.

"Can I kiss you?" Megumi asked, looking at you intently waiting for you answer. You smiled and nodded leaning in for a kiss.

Surprisingly he was a good kisser, his soft, glossy lips moulded into yours making you both get lost in the moment.. He stroked your back as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You didn't want the moment to end.

You both pulled apart from each other to get some air. You cuddled into him suddenly feeling quite fatigued.

"Remind me to do that more often." you giggled as Megumi chuckled.

"No objections there."

You both cuddled together not even bothering to check if the door unlocked, eventually falling asleep in each other's comfort.

A bonusssss!:

"I bet you 4000¥ they are cuddling right now." Yuji whispered to Nobara.

"I bet you 5000¥ that they kissed." Nobara gasped and began smirking.

"Aight bet."

"Guys! Do you have your tasers at the ready?" Gojo whispered to all the students.

They were all gathered outside the room you were in, all with taser in hand.

"So we go in, if they aren't cuddling then we taser them like psychopaths? Got it." Maki found some sort of amusement in all this.

"Okay guys, 3, 2, 1..." After Gojo's countdown ended they all entered the room. To be blessed with an adorable sight.

"Nobara pay up!!" Yuji shouted causing you to stir awake.

You jumped up and screamed to see everyone in front of you with tasers smiling with devious intent.

"W-Why do you have tasers?" you stuttered as you backed up with your hands up as if you were guilty, whilst Megumi was still basically asleep on the couch.

"Y/N did you confess?" Gojo came in closer as all the others followed him with their tasers making horrifying noises.

"What are you on abo- Oh!" It all made sense to you now.

You had been locked in a room with Megumi to get you to confess your feelings to each other.

"If by dawn, you confess without waver,

Then you will not have to fear the power of the taser..it makes sense now!!" you exclaimed making sense of the situation now. What an evil school you were in.

"HEY! Y/N YOU BETTER ANSWER ME." Gojo shouted snapping you out of your thoughts, getting an arms length away from you.

"YES! YES! WE DID! WE EVEN KISSED IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU? PLEASE DON'T TASER ME!"

Suddenly all the taser noises stopped and you looked up to see everyone look relieved.

"You kissed?! YESSSS! Yuji pay up~" Nobara smirked and Yuji looked pissed.

"You made a bet on that?" you asked genuinely shocked as to how much you were shipped.

"Don't worry about that..."

"Let's go gang! Our job here is done." Gojo said as everyone followed behind him congratulating you on their way out.

You looked shocked as you turned to see Megumi looking as confused as you.

"What just happened?" Megumi asked looking like he saw an alien.

"I think it's best you don't know...." you sat down and rested your head on his shoulder.

What a crazy community you were a part of.

a/n: I hope you enjoyed that! and don't forget to request if you would like!! ANON I AM STILL LOOKING FOR YOU!!

love you all!! 💜🎵

#anime fluff #anime #anime x reader #jjk #fyp #jjk x reader #megumi request #megumi fluff #jjk megumi #jjk crack #megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen megumi #megumi x y/n #jjk fluff

[lisysturniolo]

𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 ୭ ˚.⁺⊹ .ᐟ

𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒!𝐓𝐎!𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒

𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃!𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐗 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

𝐀/𝐍: hello!!! im back from the dead lolol! so this story is actually a snippet from my wattpad i’m writing and you should follow! my user is @lisysturniolo and the story is called saturn! ( if you see any mistakes, NO YOU DONT! ) enjoy! 🪐

𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: this story does have oc’s but the reader is called y/n if that makes sense. emersyn and estrella are sisters, you and kinsley are sisters, obviously the triplets are brothers, and rarity is a family friend of yours! okay happy reading!! 📖

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ REAL LIFE !

"i'm not going in that water with you!" you scream from where your umbrella is on the beach.

nick, matt, and chris decided to go to the beach for the weekend and thought to invite everyone. you mainly, but then you invited everyone else and they couldn't say no.

"why not? the weather is so beautiful n/n," rarity chimes, wanting you to oblige to her request. rarity goes and tries to get you up by your arms. "the whales and sharks aren't for miles away, let's just go."

"rarity, i'm not doing it. you know how i feel about the ocean." you pull your arms down and lean back in the chair.

"yeah i know, you're a fucking pussy," rarity laughs, sitting down on the sand near her, going on her phone. "where are matt and chris?"

"they're getting the cooler out the car." you pick up your magazine and starts flipping through the pages.

soon after, emersyn and estrella come over with nick.

"where have y'all been?" you question the three while they come over and lay on their towels.

"nick had to pee and i wanted to go inside for a few." estrella replies, laying on her towel face down.

matt and chris eventually come back with the cooler and a few gas station bags.

"i knew you guys weren't just getting the cooler, you guys took forever bro." rarity gets up from her spot and makes her way over to where the cooler is.

"ask this fucking kid why we took so long." matt comes over and sits down in front of you, leaning his head back against the edge of the chair.

you and matt are genuinely best friends. like you don't have awkward tension between you guys, you tell each other everything and even though matt has a suspicion that you might like his brother, he doesn't bring it up, knowing the subject makes you want to crawl in a ball and die.

"shut the fuck up matt, at least i got something for everyone." chris sets down the gas station bags on the cooler and sips his pepsi.

"can someone hand me my drink and chips?" you ask, and chris immediately gets up and hands them to you. you blush very faintly. stop fucking blushing you idiot.

"here n/n," he says.

"thanks."

estrella, nick and rarity all lock eyes and laugh silently. nick and his posse, consisting of estrella and rarity, all have been down your throat about this tension they think is upon you and chris. so when they started laughing, you just rolled her eyes and flipped your magazine again.

"how long do we all want to stay here again?" emersyn asks.

"maybe like half an hour? i'm trying to get my tanning in."

a few minutes after rarity last spoke, kinsley finally turns up from wherever she was.

all eyes eventually end up on kinsley and she widens her eyes and puts her hands up in defense. you tilt your head slightly and raise your eyebrows. "and just where the fuck have you been? i low-key forgot you were even here."

"i went to the hot tub inside, met a few guys, they're cool," she replies, getting her snickers bar and mountain dew from the seven eleven bags. "just came by to get my stuff. i'll meet you guys back at the hotel."

"were they at least cute?" emersyn giggles from her towel.

"some of them are, yes emmy." emersyn decides to get up and follow kinsley to the hot tub.

"just be safe and text me please." you beg.

"alright see ya later." kinsley walks away with emersyn, chatting away at anyone they could find.

everybody, after three more hours, decided to go back to the hotel and change into their pajamas.

the way this trip was set up is that everyone was in a different room. rarity and estrella shared one, matt and chris, kinsley and you, and emersyn and nick.

for some fucking reason, nick and matt wanted to talk about something without chris, and emersyn wanted to sleep with kisley to talk about all the hot guys they saw, go fucking figure, so chris and you had to share a bed and a room.

currently, chris was showering and you were sitting on your shared bed, watching tiktok and scrolling through instagram. when you heard the bathroom door open, you turned and faced the door, revealing a shirtless chris.

your eyes widened a little bit at the bluntness of him coming out the bathroom shirtless. chris noticed her eyes widening and chuckled, "i just forgot a shirt, i won't be like this for long,"

you didn't say anything, stuck in your own trance. chris was shirtless in your room. what if he wanted to stay shirtless? what if he just pulled you in for a kiss right then and there? not that you had a problem with that but what if everyone else di-

"you also don't have to stare either." he laughs, setting his phone down on the nightstand. and pulling up the desk chair to sit in front of the tv.

"sorry, i wasn't trying to stare." you mumbled.

"it's alright, seriously, you just seemed out of it. your eyes were really wide too." he replied, setting up his ps5 in the room.

"chris why are you setting that up in here? you're only saying for the night."

"yeah but matt wanted to play duos on fortnite so i gotta plug it up here."

you just roll your eyes playfully and go back to your tiktok, making sure to put your headphones on, knowing that chris would be screaming if he lost.

after some time, they got off the game and chris crawled in bed with you hesitantly. you notice his hesitant behaviors and decide to question him.

"everything alright?"

"yeah i was just thinking because did you want to put a pillow in-between us or did you just want to sleep together?"

you laugh and wipes your eyes, "you act as if we haven't shared a bed before."

"yeah i know but i didn't know if this would be different-"

"kid just get in the bed."

he sighs and gets in the bed with you, flipping over and going on his phone.

you wake up out of your dream.

your eyes start adjusting due to being closed for so long. but you didn't even have time to process your dream because-

"n/n, are you alright?" chris gets up and rubs his tired eyes.

"what? yeah just a dream."

chris yawned and pulled a pillow to sit under his neck, facing scarlette now. "do you want to talk about it?"

"umm, no not really."

"okay."

the two of you sit in slience, looking up at the ceiling for a little bit before you laugh, speaking up again. "do you think stars are actually big balls of gas or something else?"

"what?"

"like how do they get that shape? you know with like the pointed sides? how are they shaped like that if they are actually just big balls of gas?" you put your hands above your head, giving chris a visual.

"i don't know n/n, what do you think?"

"maybe like the angels made it so they look pointed for our visual and up in the sky, they are actually big balls of gas."

chris chuckles at the girls rambling but decides to feed into it. "do you actually believe everything that we were taught in school about science and everything?"

"i mean they are payed to teach us this stuff so, no not really. but if i find a cool tikotxk explaining how science works then, then i'll believe it."

he laughs, "so you believe everything you see on tiktok?"

"not necessarily, but i think it's just interesting."

"hmm," he yawns again." we should probably go to sleep, everyone wants to get breakfast in the morning."

"okay," you turn away from him.

before you could fully go to sleep, you very faintly feel chris's arm sneak around your waist and pull you a little into him.

#𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒚'𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #nicolas sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo fluff #sturniolo fan

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-two

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: y'all aint ready for this. Also, this story is going to jump a lot between Noah's and Readers(angel's) POV.

Collabing With: @thescarlettvvitch

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr

READER

With a long sigh, I did my best to adjust my shirt and hair in a way to cover the mark on my neck, even two layers of foundation did nothing to hide it. Trey didn’t care that I was about to go on stage with a deep red hickey on the side of my neck or the fact that my chest was covered in bite marks. It was his way of claiming me in front of all the guys that showed up tonight which was insane when he was the only one that had my attention. 

Bullshit. 

“I told you to take it easy,” I grumbled to Trey as he appeared from the back of the bus. 

He shrugged while balancing a cigarette on his lips as he worked on buttoning his pants. His hair was a mess of waves thanks to my fingers running through it just a few moments ago but Trey didn’t bother to fix it. 

“Calm down, babe. It’s not like I haven’t marked you before,” he said while walking past me and smacking my ass. 

“That’s not the fucking point, Trey,” I seethed. “You didn’t have to leave that dark of a mark.” 

Trey lit the cigarette and blew the smoke out inside of the bus and I hastily waved it out of my face, the anger for him intensifying. 

“Have you lost your mind?! You know Malcolm has asthma, if he breathes in the smoke it’ll make him have an attack!” 

“Not my problem,” he shrugged then trotted down the stairs. 

What an ass. 

I stayed inside the bus for a few extra long moments trying to center myself by taking deep breaths and hopefully, letting Trey get a head start to wherever he was headed. 

The soundcheck went alright, it could have been worse, but thankfully Trey wasn’t completely wasted and could still perform. But that meant nothing for the next three hours until we went on stage. Who knows where he is headed right now?

During soundcheck, I noticed that while Bad Omens were bringing in their equipment, Noah’s gaze would linger on us every time he dropped something off. I thought I was the only one until Trey practically dragged me back to the bus to fuck his frustrations out. 

It wasn’t terrible. I’ve had worse but definitely could have been better. At least I was able to get off; sometimes Trey would be two pumps and done then move on to whatever else he had planned in his day.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and when I checked the message, I let out a loud snort at the text message from Chase.

Get your loner ass in the green room. Malcolm and I are hanging with Bad Omens.

I ducked into the bathroom to check myself in the mirror, smoothing down the few strands of hair that strayed out and tripled checked that the hickey on my neck wasn't that noticeable. On my way out of the bus and into the venue, I sent Trey a text letting him know to be back by six before doors opened; he of course left me on read.

As I neared the green room, loud voices carried down the hallway and when I walked through the doorway, many sets of eyes fell on me.

"Jeez, don't stop your conversations on my account. Makes me wonder what the hell you were talking about," I joked while falling onto the couch between Chase and Nick.

"Do I want to ask?" Chase ran a finger over the mark on my neck.

I smacked his hand away, hoping no one would notice. "You know how he is, Chase. It's nothing."

Chase was a really good friend of mine, had been for the last six years, and he was someone I could always confide in when things with Trey weren't that great; which was a lot. In the beginning, Chase would listen and offer advice that would strengthen my relationship with Trey. But now, I had a feeling Chase wanted to strangle Trey.

"He treats you like shit, Y/N," he ran a hand over his buzzed head. "You deserve better."

I ran my hands over my jeans and looked around the room when I felt a pair of eyes burning deep inside of me. My breath caught in my throat when I caught eyes with Noah, who was sitting on the couch across from me. Suddenly under his intense gaze I felt warm all over so I quickly shed off my sweatshirt and tossed it over the back of the couch behind me.

Nick peered down at my arm as he traced over the random tattoos on my skin, small smile pulling at his lips.

"Oh, please don't look at these. I got these stupid designs of a flower and stems when I was eighteen," I groaned. "I thought it would be so cool to get my entire arm covered in it."

He shook his head, still smiling. "No, the design looks sick. I just didn't know you had tattoos."

"Yeah, I tend to hid them only because-."

The words fell from my lips when I realized I did not want to finish that sentence in front of all the guys.

Malcolm snorted as he had no problem finishing my sentence. "Because Trey hates her tattoos. He thinks she should look pure and innocent for the band."

My eyes sliced into Malcolm. "That's not true."

"Right," it was Chase now who spoke. "Then why does he make you wear long sleeves for the shows and media pictures?"

I bounced my knee with newfound anger at my band mates for bringing up something personal in front of four strangers: to me anyway.

"Fuck this," I grumbled while rising to my feet. "I'm going to hang out on the bus until the show starts."

As I walked past the couch where Noah sat, his fingers brushed against the skin of my palm and electricity shot through my entire body. My nerve endings were buzzing with a sense of warmth that I'd never felt before. Every single cell in my body craved to feel this alive every second of the day and the way my heart pounded in my chest, I was afraid that Noah could hear how just his touch alone affected me.

I looked down at him, his long hair falling around his face in waves of chocolate locks, and his gaze traced over the tattoos on my left hand before jumping to my right arm. I was in such a trance that I didn't notice the way his eyes sparkled or when his deep voice echoed in my ears.

"Kaonashi."

My eyes blinked when the trance was broken. "Huh?"

Noah pointed to the tattoo on my arm. "From Spirited Away."

"You know Spirited Away?" I asked with so much excitement it was almost embarrassing.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "I'm actually a huge anime nerd. I have a Naruto tattoo on my knuckle."

I gasped while forcing Malcolm, who protested with a loud shout, to scoot off of the couch so I could sit next to Noah.

"No fucking way!"

Not even realizing I did it, I grabbed Noah's hand to trace over the small tattoo on the knuckle of his right hand.

"The leaf village!" I giggled. "That's so sick."

My attention was fully on drinking in the sight of the other arrays of tattoos on Noah's hand that I didn't even notice the way he was watching me, so much brightness and life in his eyes. The tattoos covered almost every inch of skin on his hands, arms, and fuck-even his neck was tattooed.

I'd love to run my tongue across the apple.

What the fuck? Why did I even think that?

Clearing my throat, I peered up at him through my lashes to give him a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry for freaking out like this. It's just no one else watches anime so I don't really have anyone to talk to about this kind of stuff."

Noah immediately waved me off. "No, it's alright. I'm always down to talk about anime anytime you want."

My heart did that little flutter it did earlier when I saw him for the first time and just like that time, I forced the feeling away. This feeling was new, unknown, and it scared me it felt so intense when I was around Noah.

I fell back into the couch with a small smile. "I haven't watched that movie in so long. It's my all-time favorite. I can't tell you how many times I watched it while growing up."

"Do you want to watch it?"

My brow raised. "Now?"

Noah shrugged. "The show doesn't start for a few hours and we've got some time to kill."

"Okay," I smiled, my knees bouncing in excitement. "Yeah, sure. Let me grab my laptop and we can watch it in here."

Not wanting to waste any more time, I practically jumped from the couch and left the room.

NOAH

With fire dancing behind my eyes, I watched Y/N leave the room, gaze lingering on the door for a few extra beats until Jolly's voice forced me to look at him.

"Did you say something?" I asked.

He smirked. "You two seem to be getting along quite well."

"We just have something in common," I rolled my eyes to show that I didn't care that much.

Even though my stomach was doing flips at the thought of spending more time with her. Finding out she was big into anime like me shouldn't have made a goofy smile spread to my lips but it did. From what I knew of her online, which wasn't much, I noticed that almost every media picture or concert video that was posted, Y/N had her tattoos covered up. I always thought it was the look she was going for but finding out that it was because Trey wanted her to keep up the image of looking innocent and pure made my throat burn.

Another thing I noticed? The giant red hickey on the side of her neck that was barley covered by makeup. Chase gave her shit for it when she first got here and that's when I heard her defend Trey for how nasty the hickey was.

"It's who he is." Her words replayed in my mind.

He sounds like a fucking prick.

We met Trey a few months back at a bar in Los Angeles where to no one's surprise; he was drunk and had some girl hanging off of his arm that wasn't Y/N. Though, we had no idea they were dating so to us, it could have been some random hook up. This was also before we knew we would tour with Hollow Souls. Trey knew who we were from word of mouth around the record label but from the moment we met that night, he had a sour taste in his mouth when it came to us.

Trey wouldn't admit it but Folio thinks it's because the record label was putting more of their attention on Bad Omens lately than Hollow Souls.

"All I'm saying is, be careful," Jolly spoke.

I sighed while brushing my hair away from my eyes. "We're watching a movie, Jolly. Not fucking on the couch in front of everyone."

Then the door opened behind me, halting whatever Jolly was going to say, and Y/N walked in with the largest smile on her face I'd think I'd ever seen someone have. My own matched when I noticed she threw on a Spirited Away sweater.

"What?" She shrugged when she noticed me staring. "I thought it was only fitting to wear it."

I patted the spot next to me where she previously sat and waited as she loaded up the movie. While the others had their own conversations, Jolly kept a curious eye on us.

"You know," I spoke as we waited.

"Hm?" She hummed in response but kept her attention on finding the movie.

Nerves ate away at me as I tried to find the correct way to say these words without coming across as weird or offensive. I've talked to plenty of girls throughout my life so why was I nervous to talk to her?

"I think you should show off your tattoo's more," I spoke slow at first, as if to test the waters.

That made her turn her head towards me, one brow raised to her hairline. "Oh, you do?"

I shifted in my spot on the couch, trying to look calm and collected. Not wanting her to realize that the way her eyes twinkled or how her bottom lip that was caught between her teeth was making me hard in places that shouldn't be hard right now; especially with her sitting right next to me.

"They're beautifully done. It's a fucking shame that you have to hide them because Trey wants you to look innocent for the band. I mean, has he even heard your lyrics or understood the deeper meaning to them?"

"Shit," she blushed and looked down at her lap. "Please don't analyze my lyrics. It's one thing when I sing them in front of a crowd but having a deep conversation about them in another thing entirely. I get so embarrassed."

"Seriously? Why?"

She shrugged. "I-uh, I think it's because people believe I don't write my own lyrics but I do. I spent hours some nights writing one song to make it perfect. Everyone thinks it's Trey, but all he does is scream the parts I tell him too. The rest is all me."

Taking her laptop from her, I placed it on the other side of the couch next to me then made her turn to face me. Meeting Y/N of Hollow Souls was on my bucket list but having deep conversations about her lyrics was at the top.

"In Your Touch Awakens, you talk about how the touch alone from someone ignites the fire within your soul. It makes your body shake with the aftershocks of a night full of hot passion."

The blush intensified to a deep shade of red but still refused to meet my gaze.

"The lyrics in One Night is a promise to spend the last night on earth with a man you only just met," I said.

Wouldn't that be fucking nice?

Ignoring the thought, I continued on. "Don't even get me started on Desperation for Our Sins. I could go into heavy detail about those lyrics."

"He has, multiple times," Folio nodded from his spot on the floor, halting his conversation with Malcolm.

I narrowed my eyes at him playfully. "That's because the lyrics are that fucking good. It's my favorite song."

"So screw Trey for thinking you should remain innocent for the band. Show everyone that this," I motioned to her. "Isn't something that should be covered up. And I mean that in the most respectful way possible, Y/N."

By now she was meeting my gaze and I could see that her eyes were wet but she did her best not to let the tears fall so instead, she blew out a shaky breath.

"Fuck, Noah. I might have to add Desperation for Our Sins on the set list just for you," she ended her words with a chuckle.

My fingers brushed over her knee, almost a subconscious action. She noticed with the way her body tensed but she didn't move away. In fact, she leaned into the touch.

"All I'm saying is, have fun when you're on stage. Come alive out there." I said.

It was the truth. Every video I've seen of a Hollow Souls concert, Y/N stayed on her side of the stage, while Trey moved around, jumping and spinning. I wanted to see that from her and made a promise to myself this tour that I would help her break out of this shell she had encased herself in.

"Tha-," her soft voice was cut off by the door to the room bursting open, almost slamming against the wall.

Trey stumbled inside, the air of the room shifting to an uncomfortable level. His eyes scanned around until it fell directly on Y/N and I, who were still sitting quite close and my hand still on her knee.

"What the fuck?" Trey spat. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

Her face twitched into a scowl and slowly rose to her feet. "You could have answered my texts then."

I was on the edge of my seat, not knowing exactly what he would do, but marveled at the way she stood toe to toe with Trey.

"What's going on here?" He motioned to the group. "A little pow wow without me?"

Y/N rolled her eyes. "Stop being a dick."

Trey smirked. "If I recall, you were begging for my dick earlier."

I averted my gaze from her down to the ground and rested my arms on my knees. My heart stuttered in my chest as jealousy fill my veins, something I didn't want to feel.

"Screw you," she scolded while pushing past Trey to leave.

He quickly grabbed her hand to stop her which made my jump to my feet. Trey chuckled darkly towards me all while keeping a grip on Y/N's hand.

"Oh, that's cute. Let me guess, she told you the story about how much she loved that stupid fucking anime movie? Unlike you, that pussy story didn't work on me. Do yourself a favor, Noah, stay the fuck away from her."

"Trey, stop it," Y/N quietly begged.

Not daring to back down, I tucked my hands deep into the pockets of my jeans and shrugged a shoulder

"I'm not doing anything, Trey. We were just talking."

"Right," he snorted before throwing Y/N's hand away from him, stalking out of the room alone.

"Asshole," she grumbled under her breath then turn towards me. "I'm so sorry about that."

My knuckle brushed against the patch of skin where Trey grabbed her. "It's not your fault."

"But it is," she nodded. "I know how he gets."

"Do you want to watch?" I pointed to the laptop. "Help get your mind off of him?"

I could see the internal battle behind her eyes as she fought with what she wanted to do and what she thought she had to do.

"I should go make sure he's alright," she threw a thumb over her shoulder. "But give me a few minutes and I'll be back. We can watch then."

I ignored the way my heart fell into my stomach but agreed with a smile. "Sure."

Once gone, I fell back onto the couch, as my body vibrated with so much energy and anger, I had to force myself to stay in the room and not run after her.

"Is he always like this?" Folio asked.

Chase answered with a long breath. "Unfortunately. We've talked about Trey to the label on countless occasions but they won't do anything until after the tour. And that's a big IF."

Malcolm gave a weak smile. "We've tried to ignore it but it's starting to get out of hand; the drinking and the way he treats Y/N."

"Have you guys even tried to stop it?" I snapped.

"Believe us, Noah. We have," Chase narrowed his eyes at me. "Trey is so far gone there's no reasoning with him. Y/N is no different. She won't listen to us. She'll defend him until her last breath, its disgusting."

My fists clenched at my sides as I waited not so patiently for her to return by pacing the room. Five minutes past with no sight of her but before I could go find her, Nick's voice called after me.

"Noah, don't."

I ran a hand over my jaw. "I’m not gonna get involved, I just wanna make sure she’s okay. Fuckin prick smelled like Vodka.”

As I followed the angry voices, I came to a halt halfway down the hallway when I noticed Trey practically foaming at the mouth as he scolded Y/N.

"Why the fuck was he so close to you?"

She pinched her eyes shut. "We were just talking."

"Bullshit," Trey spat, literally, to the ground at her feet. "No man wants to just talk to you, Y/N. Wake the fuck up and realize he wants you!"

She choked on a laugh. "You're fucking delusional. You're seeing something thats not there."

Well..

"Don't be a dumbass. It's not a cute look for you, babe."

With a quick glance my way, Trey saw me standing a few feet behind Y/N, who didn't notice me. So with a smug smile, he threw an arm over her shoulders and led her through a door that led outside.

"I can think of a few ways you could make it up to me."

NOAH

A yawn escape from my lips as I shut the door to the trailer shut before bidding a goodbye to the crew as they were getting ready to head to the next city. The first show of the tour went great, Bad Omens putting on a killer show like we usually do. But most the fans were there to see Hollow Souls, who undoubtedly brought the energy. We watched them from the side stage but even with my words earlier, Y/N didn't break out of her shell or come alive on stage. She remained in place, wearing a long-sleeved dress and black thigh-high boots.

She looked absolutely Devine on stage. How her face was stone while she sang her parts, eyes closed in concentration. There were a few strands of hair that fell from her ponytail into her face but none of it bothered her as she was in the zone on stage.

Of course, she didn't watch our set, only coming back into the venue right before Hollow Souls went on. According to Malcolm, her and Trey stayed on their bus until the last possible second. I thought about going and finding her to wish her a great job tonight but knew that it would only make things worse for her with Trey.

"Noah, you ready?" Nick called out form the window of our bus.

With one final glance to the empty parking lot then to Hollow Souls bus, I let out a breath and nodded.

"Yeah."

But before I could ascend the stairs to our bus, my name was called from behind and noticed Trey walking towards me. Instantly my body tensed with the need to fight but did my best to keep cool.

"I know what you're doing!" He bellowed.

I raised a brow at him. "Standing in front of my bus?"

"No, smartass. I know you've been watching my girl all night," Trey got right up in my face, chest to chest.

"Back up, Trey," I ordered with my hands outstretched. "I'm not going to fight you."

The difference in our heights was almost laughable. Even in my flat tennis shoes, I towered over Trey by a few inches.

“Just know, I see it. And it's not going to happen. We’re gonna do this fucking tour cause the label said we can’t cut the fucking contract. But just know, this thing you want with Y/N isn't going to happen," Trey said angrily.

With one final glare, he rammed his shoulder into me as he brushed past towards his tour bus, where Y/N stuck her head out the door to give us a concerned eye.

"Everything alright?" She wondered.

Trey plastered a fake smile then brought her in for a heated kiss, one that at first she looked uncomfortable with but then she melted into his body, her fingers running through his hair.

"Lets get you to bed, baby. It's been a long day."

"Mother fucker," I gritted out through clenched teeth as the door to their bus shut.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #enemies to lovers #right person wrong time #starcrossed lovers

[lexi-the-demon-69]

Just a random rant about how I want a new Dark Cacao update-

TW: Mentions of emotional neglect and ab*se

Yeah, as I brought up in my live stream yesterday, I really want another Dark Cacao update because my main problems with the game's story lie within the Dark Cacao characters and their writing.

It honestly infuriates me that Dark Choco's character and trauma are so watered down in the games, to the point where it's almost put in a positive light, ESPECIALLY his relationship with his dad. It's heavily implied in episode 14 that Dark Choco was neglected emotionally by Dark Cacao when Dark Choco says this: "In this kingdom, I knew no love nor sweetness, but rigid cold! What makes you think I care about you or this forsaken land?!" Obviously hinting that Dark Cacao is emotionally neglectful.

I hate that the fandom and Devsisters just glosses these issues aside and portrays their relationship as happy and healthy when in reality, Dark Cacao likely had Dark Choco only as an heir to the throne when he gets too old to rule. Don't get me wrong, I love these little moments, but these issues must be addressed. It would be an amazing way to show survivors of emotional neglect that they're not alone.

Maybe in this new hypothetical update, these issues can be addressed properly by having Mystic Flour Cookie, one of the beast cookies, attack the Dark Cacao Kingdom. Dark Cacao is forced out of the citadel and it's up to him, Caramel Arrow, Crunchy Chip, and Dark Choco to save the kingdom. (Dark Choco would more than likely be nearby and he decides to help)

During their journey, some old memories, both positive and negative, are brought up as Dark Cacao and Dark Choco start to catch up after what happened. However, something mentioned by Dark Cacao (more than likely his non-apology in episode 14) touches Dark Choco's nerve and an argument ensues. Dark Cacao says that he apologized to him and that sends Dark Choco off the rails.

He screams at him that what he apologized for was not the real problem. The REAL problem was the fact that he emotionally neglected him for all his life and then he endured more abuse as a member of the COD. He goes on about how badly he was treated, how Pomegranate used his own trauma against him as punishment, and how he beat himself up for something that was caused by a sword that he thought was going to help save his kingdom and would finally have his father notice him. Hearing his son explain everything that happened to him broke Dark Cacao's heart. He truly felt like pure scum as Dark Choco ran away in anguish.

After Dark Choco runs away, Caramel Arrow and (possibly) Crunchy Chip talk with Dark Cacao, taking Dark Choco's side in the manor since they would likely see the neglect firsthand. However, they obviously don't go off on him since, well, y'know. After their talk, Dark Cacao fully realizes that he fucked up and now he wants to give Dark Choco a proper apology. BUT! Not until Mystic Flour comes in and does some evil shit, probably taking Dark Cacao hostage or something.

Dark Choco notices nearby and it's up to him, Caramel Arrow, and Crunchy Chip to save him. During this section of the story, we can have Dark Choco and Caramel Arrow interact more (because I love Carachoco lol) as they make their way to wherever Dark Cacao is being held. After that, they save him and Dark Cacao gives an ACTUAL fucking apology and they all live happily ever after. The End.

Also, some other small bits of shit that I would love in this update:

-a Dark Cacao buff -Dark Choco's magic candy -Caramel Arrow's magic candy -Crunchy Chip's magic candy -Affogato's magic candy (maybe-) -More bond stories that involve Dark Choco -Matching costumes with Dark Choco, Caramel Arrow, Crunchy Chip, and Dark Cacao

That's it lol. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#cookie run #cookie run kingdom #dark choco cookie #dark cacao cookie #caramel arrow cookie x dark choco cookie #crunchy chip cookie #caramel arrow cookie

[bewareofchris]

I've been on the writer's tag again.

Listen guys.

Nobody owes your fanfic anything. I know that you want validation and adoration and those are both completely normal things to want. But this obsessive demand for comments over kudos and reblogs over likes is A Problem.

I won't bore you with tales of yore where we literally punted our fiction into the world with no idea of how it was being perceived by others because the only way to know if anyone even glanced at it was by the incredibly inaccurate page counter on our shitty geocities page.

(But that was a thing and it's semi-relevant to my point.)

A lot of you are growing up in a era of social media and viral marketing. You are babies of the influencer age, raised on the myth that if you can just get enough attention you'll get famous for something. I don't mean 10 million followers on insta famous but famous in your specific sphere.

That will not happen for you.

Not because people aren't reblogging your shit or writing out loving comments but because it's a myth. The idea that if you shame, beg and cajole enough people into interacting with your creation you'll access some serotonin high and ascend to a greater state of being is also a myth.

Here's the truth:

Most writers do not know how the majority of their audience feels about their fics. Those very few novels that you see on booktok, X (former twitter) or wherever else you get your writing news represent an infinitesimal portion of stories written and books published.

Most writers do have writing buddies or trusted members of an inner circle that they share their writing with.

For most fandoms, fanfics are so plentiful it's like going into a mall sized grocery store that sells only apples and then demanding the customer review every apple they touch.

For those few fanfics that you see that have an outrageous number of comments there are three possible explanations: 1. that person is what we used to call a "Big Name Ficcer" and they have amassed a following through consistent production of whatever that fandom is into, 2. that is a fic so long you have to sign a waiver to start reading it and despite the fact it was started seven years ago its still getting updated, or 3. that person is writing a viral fic in a fandom that is presently on fire.

Your self worth and self esteem cannot be tied to writing and posting fanfiction. It might be a fun outlet or you might be looking for your viral moment, but either way the moment you start weighing your worth as an author or creator based on what a bunch of strangers on the internet think of you is the moment you give up on yourself.

Social media has brainwashed you into thinking that you must be recognized and rewarded for the things that you put onto the internet. Or maybe it hasn't brainwashed you, maybe you just want to get a comment because you worked super hard on something and you feel like if you can't even get one decent response then its all been wasted. (I.e. you've been brainwashed into the feeling that you need the validation of strangers for happiness purposes.)

So what are you going to do about this?

Get off the internet. I don't mean permanently. I don't even mean literally. I mean take yourself out of the spaces that reinforce the idea that you need validation from strangers to be happy. Stop going on the social media sites for a few days (or a few weeks). If you've got a friend in fandom that you share fics, headcanons, ideas or anything with start chatting with them about something you want to write. Invest in them, in what they're doing and their opinions and how they react to your creations.

Put your shit on the internet like you literally don't give a fuck about anyone's opinion. Explain nothing about your writing choices. Put warnings, no more than 5 tags and drop that shit into the world like a newborn giraffe. Then ignore it.

Teach yourself to seek validation from your accomplishments: write a slightly longer fic, write a fic in a different genre, write a fic in a different rating, write a fic in a different fandom.

Find an actual friend that you actually interact with whose opinion you know matters because you agree on the important stuff.

Stop begging strangers for compliments like a cartoon hobo shaking a cup for coins. You're better than that.

#writing is hard #fanfiction #on writing #i would love a rebuttal #but nobody fights me #i understand #i'm too scary

[rhey-007]

Home is wherever I'm with You

Lance Stroll x best friend!reader

• | social media au

Summary: You're too oblivious to see your best friend's clear signs of attraction towards you, until he confesses his feelings after your unfortunate pregnancy and break up.

Warnings/Tags: female reader, sudden pregnancy, breakup, best friends to lovers

A/N: Enjoy the las post of this year! And happy 2024! Hopefully it will be a better year 🫠🥳

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🍂˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

✧･ﾟ: * INSTAGRAM

liked by y/n._.l/n, estebanocon, logansargeant and 67,546 others

tagged: y/n._.l/n, estebanocon, logansargeant

•lance_stroll: someone got a little too drunk 🥂

•y/n._.l/n: I don't remember changing into my pj's 🧍‍♀️

→ •chloestroll: don't worry, he was too drunk to do that so I took care of you! 💞

→ •y/n._.l/n: thank you baby!

•estebanocon: I ain't partying with you anymore 💀 I woke up sleeping on top of Logan half naked...

→ •y/n._.l/n: you finally embraced your love for each other! How cute! 🥰

→ •estebanocon: -_-

→ •logansargeant: he almost crushed me...

→ •user1: we need to see this!

•user2: Yaaay! Another besties content! :3 ❤️‍🔥

✧･ﾟ: * INSTAGRAM

liked by lance_stroll, chloestroll and 35,645 others

tagged: lance_stroll

•y/n._.l/n: my best bubba 💪🤩

•lance_stroll: love you too! 🥰

→ •logansargeant: of course you do 😏

→ •lance_stroll: shut up

→ •user3: LANCE?! what does that mean???

→ •estebanocon: oh you know well what it means 😏

•user4: if it looks like just a friendship then I'm a tooth fairy 🧚

→ •user5: fr ain't no way they're just best friends

→ •user6: what do you mean? friends can act like that too 🤨

→ •user4: I think they also mean the way Lance looks at Y/N

→ •user6: which is?

→ •user4: full of love

→ •user6: ooooh

✧･ﾟ: * INSTAGRAM

liked by y/n._.l/n, chloestroll and 26,438 others

tagged: y/n._.l/n

•lance_stroll: my lil sis 💖

•user7: aaah I love their friendship 🥲🥹❤️‍🔥

→ •user8: we all do 😭

•user9: they are made for each other! when will they be together??? 😭

→ •user10: that's a fever dream... 🫠🥲

•chloestroll: my favorite sibling and dad's second fav child! 😍 (talking about Y/N ofc)

→ •lance_stroll: aha?! she ain't even related! >:(

→ •y/n._.l/n: stop being a whiny baby you knew that for a long time 🤭

•estebanocon: that ain't just friendship, you're not gonna fool no one

→ •user11: estie spitting FACTS 💥

→ •user12: •estebanocon spoliers maybe? when will they finally be together?

→ •estebanocon: idk you gotta ask Lance but hopefully soon >:(

✧･ﾟ: * INSTAGRAM STORY

✧･ﾟ: * INSTAGRAM LIVE

✧･ﾟ: * INSTAGRAM

liked by bran_.don. and 2,685 others

tagged: bran_.don.

•y/n._.l/n: 🏕🌌🍃

•user13: why did you abandon Lance?! 😭

→ •y/n._.l/n: I didn't abandon him! :( he's still my bubba! 🥰

→ •user14: meanwhile Lance:

→ •user15: poor Lancey getting replaced by some no name :'(

→ •user16: WHY DOES Y/N HAVE TO BE SO OBLIVIOUS???

•user17: funny how her likes dropped the moment she started to date him lol bring Lance back!

→ •user18: I guess no one likes the new guy xD

→ •user17: also funny how Lance stopped liking her photos too

→ •user18: that's sad actually :(( poor Lancey 😭😣

•user19: BRINK BACK LANCE APPRECIATION POSTS❗❗❗

•user20: fuck some random ass Brandon, come back to Lance 😭

•user21: why you date this stupid ass Brandon when you can have THE LANCE STROLL???

✧･ﾟ: * INSTAGRAM

liked by bran_.don. and 1,348 others

tagged: bran_.don.

•y/n._.l/n: trip time! 🤗🥰🌄

- (comments disabled)

✧･ﾟ: * INSTAGRAM

liked by bran_.don. and 12,685 others

tagged: bran_.don.

•y/n._.l/n: happy birthday to MEE!🤩🥳🔥

•user22: where Lancey at... :((

•user23: I hate how you forgot about Lance since Brandon appeared...

→ •user24: we all hate that ://

→ •y/n._.l/n: I didn't forget about him don't worry! He was just too busy to join us :((

→ •user24: too busy, yeah aint buying that, he probably didn't want to join and feel like a third wheel

→ •user25: why do I feel like it's actually true? 😭✋

→ •user24: cause it most probably is 😭😭😭

•chloestroll: happy birthday honey! 🥳💞

→ •y/n._.l/n: thank you dear! 💓

•user26: Lance didn't even comment a happy birthday as he usually would 🥲😢

→ •user27: tha man's heart is broken what do you expect???

✧･ﾟ: * INSTAGRAM STORY

✧･ﾟ: * INSTAGRAM

liked by y/n._.l/n and 124,648 others

tagged: y/n._.l/n

•lance_stroll: I've always loved you and I'm so so so happy to finally be your one and only 💖

I promise I'll never let the two of you down, I love you too much •y/n._.l/n 💞

•y/n._.l/n: I LOVE YOU TOO HBHUVBFEUBVUA 💞💞💞

•estebanocon: fucking finally! we told you you should've done that a long time ago but you never listen >:(

→ •logansargeant: exactly! >:(

→ •lance_stroll: 🙄

•user28: the two of you??? 🤨

→ •user29: that's suspicious... 🥸

•scottyjames31: FINALLY❗❗❗WHY THE HELL DID WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR SO LONG???

→ •lance_stroll: sorry buddy should've helped me more >:(

→ •user30: not Scotty helping Lance pick up Y/N 😭✋

•fernandoalo_oficial: my boy finally got his princess 😍

→ •y/n._.l/n: •lance_stroll you heard that? I'm your princess 👸💅👑

→ •lance_stroll: of course you are baby 💞

✧･ﾟ: * INSTAGRAM

liked by lance_stroll and 115,467 others

tagged: lance_stroll

•y/n._.l/n: I couldn't wish for a better boyfriend and a dad to my child. You were the first one to help me in those hard time when that motherfucker chickened out (broke up with me when I told him I was pregnant ON MY BIRTHDAY) and I'm so grateful to have you. I love you •lance_stroll and I'm so sorry for not noticing your obvious signs and ignoring your feelings 💞

•lance_stroll: it's okay honey 💖

•user31: so this is what Lance meant! You're pregnant! Congratulations! 🥳💖✨

•user32: Y/N'S PREGNANT??? NO WAY! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

•estebanocon: congrats Y/N! Can't wait to meet the baby!

→ •logansargeant: we're gonna be the best uncles ever! Promise 🤞💖🔥

→ •y/n._.l/n: you better be! >:(

→ •lance_stroll: ain't no way I'm gonna let them near the baby ✋

→ •estebanocon: why not? :(

•chloestroll: AAAHHCZRJMORS I'M GONNA BE AN AUNTIE 😍🎉

→ •y/n._.l/n: best auntie in the world! 😘

→ •chloestroll: of courseeeee 💅

•fernandoalo_oficial: my kids are getting kids... I'm so old... 🫠

→ •y/n._.l/n: you're not old pops! 😇

→ •user33: omg imagine Fernando and Lawrence as grandpas 😭

→ •user34: we HAVE to see it

✧･ﾟ: * INSTAGRAM STORY

✧･ﾟ: * INSTAGRAM

liked by lance_stroll and 167,546 others

tagged: lance_stroll

•y/n._.l/n: large and in charge 💪😎🦅

•lance_stroll: still the most beautiful person to grace the world! 😍😘💞

→ •logansargeant: and the most dangerous 💀

→ •y/n._.l/n: what you talking bout buu 🤭😊

→ •logansargeant: YOU'VE LITERALLY BIT ME CAUSE I DIDN'T GIVE YOU SWEETS

→ •user35: would've love to see that 😂

→ •estebanocon: she's a cinammonroll that could actually kill you 🥶

•chloestroll: SLAY MAMA❗🔥 💅

→ •y/n._.l/n: now's your turn 😏👉👉

→ •scottyjames31: 🫥

→ •chloestroll: SCOTTY WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

→ •lance_stroll: •y/n._.l/n how is it that you always start other people's arguments? 🤔🤨

→ •y/n._.l/n: I'm an argument fairy 🤭🧚‍♀️

•user36: she still looks like a goddess! 🤩

✧･ﾟ: * F1 NEWS

✧･ﾟ: * INSTAGRAM

liked by astonmaetinf1, chloestroll and 328,934 others

tagged: lance_stroll

•y/n._.l/n: she's here! Meet our little ray of sunshine Celia! 😸👶💥

•astonmartinf1: congratulations! 🎉 baby sized merch is already on it's way!

→ •y/n._.l/n: thank you, you didn't have to! 😅

→ •astonmartinf1: of course we had! Our future miss driver should know what team to choose from her early days!

→ •lance_stroll: ain't no way I'll let her drive, she'll become a supermodel like her mommy should

→ •y/n._.l/n: aww stawp it 🤭🤗💖

•chloestroll: I want to hold her again 😭

→ •scottyjames31: me too! 🥹

→ •lance_stroll: HELL NAH you almost dropped her 😡😤

→ •scottyjames31: I didn't 👀 it was Chloe...

→ •user37: not Scotty almost dropping Celia 😂😭

•fernandoalo_oficial: can't wait to meet the littlest Stroll! 💖💞

→ •y/n._.l/n: soon pops soon 🤗🤭

✧･ﾟ: * INSTAGRAM

liked by estebanocon, lance_stroll and 596,178 others

tagged: estebanocon

•logansargeant: best uncles on duty 💪😎

•user38: omg little Celia's gonna have the best childhood ever 🥺

→ •user39: I want to be her 😭

•user40: love how they just turn into those pookie bears while with Celia 🤭😳

→ •user41: have you seen those videos when they met her for the first time? They literally melted!

→ •user40: I did! That was so wholesome! 😍

•lance_stroll: please don't hold her like that anymore 🙏 Y/N almost got a heart attack

•y/n._.l/n: I'm gonna kill you when we're back >:(

→ •logansargeant: what why?! We didn't do anything! 🤣

•user42: datxnotxzteb Logan sitting in Celia's cradle 🤧

→ •estebanocon: fun fact: he cried when Lance and Y/N came back and it was time to leave

→ •logansargeant: YOU CRIED TOO >:(

→ •user43: not adult men crying cause their play date with their best friend's kid ended 😭🤚

✧･ﾟ: * INSTAGRAM

liked by logansargeant, lance_stroll, chloestroll and 785,935 others

tagged: logansargeant

•estebanocon: the cats are gone, the mice are playing 😁💖

•y/n._.l/n: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT WE LEFT YOU JUST FOR A FEW HOURS 💀

•lance_stroll: that's actually funny xD

→ •logarnsargeant: daddy approved yaaay! 🤩💞

•user44: poor Celia 😭✋

→ •user45: what do you mean she seems to enjoy it! 😂

•user46: aaah she is so cute!

•user47: now I know why Lance didn't want Esteban and Logan near her XD

→ •user48: we should've predicted that 😂

•fernandoalo_oficial: told you to leave her with me 🧍‍♀️

→ •estebanocon: shut up you know nothing about fun

→ •y/n._.l/n: estie be nice to pops or I'll never leave my baby with you again

→ •estebanocon: sorry mami 😔

#f1 #daddy lance #f1 fanfiction #fanfiction #formula 1 #formula one #female reader #fluff #formula one fanfiction #f1 x female reader #lance stroll x you #lance stroll x y/n #lance stroll fluff #lance stroll x reader #lance stroll #ls18 #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #f1 x reader #formula 1 x female reader #formula 1 x y/n #formula 1 x you #formula 1 x reader #formula one x reader #formula one x you #formula one x y/n

[mx-myth]

Mlc au where li lianhua just. Doesn't re-enter the jianghu. He has a couple of Big Realisations and disassociates so hard that li xiangyi is permanently dead now and he's not touching that shit with a ten foot pole.

He still meets fang duobing except they meet during on of fdb's probationary cases because he's like, sprained his wrist. He's also bleeding a lil' bit everywhere so when he sits down at the booth where llh has set up shop llh is like who is this yucky boy. Fdb is like daifu I'll pay you x amount of money to heal me. Llh ups his first impression to yucky rich boy.

Anyway it turns about when llh isn't there to guide him fdb is really reckless. But guess what! He always meets li-daifu wherever his case is! Isn't it a miracle? (Llh is long-suffering. Why does this (his, unfortunately) yucky little rich boy keep coming back to him)

Very soon fdb starts giving him gifts instead of money (because he has no money management skills). He starts off small like flowers and little soaps then desserts and then suddenly he's showing up with a set of fancy robes for llh (who had seen fdb looking at him all intently when he was estimating his measurements and thought he was checking him out. It was the start of a minor - soon to be major and ongoing - crisis) (but it turns out he likes the fucking robes).

At some point fdb runs into A Spot during one of his cases and declares, to everyone in the vicinity, that he's li xiangyi's disciple. This is overheard by di feisheng's spymaster (I CANNOT remember what his name is) who reports it back to dfs, who is like hmm, interesting.

And obviously, the most logical response here is to kidnap him and announce that he has li xiangyi's disciple held hostage.

Llh hears of this, scoffs because xiaobao can take care of himself, paces for ten minutes, and then grumbles to himself while grabbing his sword and booking it. He bursts onto the scene and it's all like:

Dfs: ...li xiangyi? You're alive?

Fdb: li lianhua-daifu!!! ...why do you have a sword.

Dfs: oh, i get it, you went into hiding. *shaking fdb* is this your new boytoy

Llh: di feisheng! Unhand him, he's a paying customer!

Dfs, nodding: I see. Boyfriend then. But you haven't had the balls to court him properly, huh

They have an argument that is actually just them exchanging small talk. Fdb is slowly dying because this is dfs, villain of the jianghu, so why is he having a reaction to him scruffing him like a kitten? Also, is li-daifu actually li xiangyi???

Long story short about three weeks later dfs arrives for dinner. And then he just. Keeps showing up. The third time he shows up fdb is there also having dinner with llh. They bristle at each other like street cats but eventually it becomes a Thing That They Do.

(In the background dfs is picking up the fucking slack and destroying the whole nanyin revival plot. Fdb keeps unintentionally and accidentally foiling related plots as he takes cases)

(Fdb: I found this in my latest case and I don't know what it is. *holds up the Rama heavenly ice shard or whatever it is*

Dfs: ...it's a screwdriver.

Fdb, who has never seen a screwdriver in his life*: oh, okay *sticks in a drawer of the lotus tower and immediately forgets about it*)

(Dfs thinks it's amusing bordering on ridiculous because fdb just keeps bringing these artifacts back. But he doesn't know what they are and neither does llh so the lotus tower is turning out to be a really safe place to put them)

Also because this version of llh actually knows from the start that he wants to live. He just never actively looked for a cure because he didn't have much to live for in his little life. But now he does so he accepts the Styx flower or whatever dfs finds for him and they all live happily ever after.

(*Edit: oh I'm an idiot. Of COURSE fdb knows what a screwdriver is. He lives with the Queen of Inventing Clever Things (master he my beloved) for god's sake. I think if he knew dfs was lying to him he wouldn't be able to let it go, since we all know how he is. So I don't know what dfs would actually tell him lmao)

#Li-daifu hearing about stuff in the jianghu: hmm. it's not my problem anymore #He definitely got tired of it quicker than canon llh did #He basically is the stay-at-home boyfriend #Xiaobao is the breadwinner #Because dfs shuts down the jinyuan alliance and becomes stay-at-home boyfriend number two #lian hua lou #mysterious lotus casebook #li lianhua #li xiangyi #di feisheng #difang #fanghua #feihua #liansanjiao #difanghua #mlc brainrot is real #gonna call this the #li-daifu au #fang duobing

[existslikepristin]

Poll is set to be a week long again because tomorrow through Friday are going to be long work days, but I'll probably screenshot the incomplete results on Saturday and start writing the next part at that point

Tags: NSFW, S.M.U.T., genie, anal

(Story Index)

The top bunk

“Yeah, let’s fuck on the top bunk,” you say, a little unsure of exactly what you meant.

“You have a bunk bed?” Joy asks.

“No.”

“What, uh… what bunk bed then?”

You glare. “Can you make this happen or does it need to be a wish?”

Joy shrugs. “I mean yeah, I can do it. Let’s see…” she taps her chin contemplatively, “Top bunk… top bunk…”

It’s very dark. The first thing you feel is the instant, albeit subtle rise in temperature. You smell something light and floral. Instead of standing up, you’re lying on your stomach on a combination of two soft surfaces (it’s a mattress and Joy’s body. You’re not fucking stupid). You’re sure there was a transition of some sort between your kitchen and wherever you are now, but it feels very vague.

“Top bunk!” Joy chirps. She’s only barely visible in the dark.

“Where are we?” you ask, reasonably.

“Legend says that if you cum in my ass, I’ll tell you.”

Whatever. That’s kind of what you were going for anyway. You pull back and thrust ahead into your sudden missionary position, and hear the clattering of your sturdy-enough plastic mug hitting the slightly distant floor. The bed beneath you creaks and wobbles dangerously.

“Oh fuck. The tea!” Joy whines, but that complainy whine shifts into a needy whine when you lift her legs around you and pound into her ass.

Joy’s body is hot against yours. Maybe a little hotter than you’d expect from a human, and you mean that physically and in the sex way. No human being has any business feeling this good, moaning just right into your ear, teleporting you to unknown locations. Her calves on your lower back, arms thrown around your shoulders, and breasts pressed into your chest. You kiss her neck and her jawline, and she does the same back to you. You can’t help but think her lips are laced with some kind of magical drug designed to arouse you further.

Alternatively, you’re just on the verge of cumming in Joy’s ass. And you do, forgetting about the new location (as if it mattered anyway) and releasing what feels like years worth of cum (as if it worked like that) into her. Much like the last time a few minutes ago, she becomes your world for those few moments. She clenches around you, limbs and asshole alike, in her orgasm… or something like that. You didn't bother to ask. The bed quakes and creaks further, but you're so absorbed in your climax that you don't register the potential consequences of that.

It takes a while for you to finish and come out of your jizz daze. It feels rather liquidy inside Joy's butt, so you briefly wonder if the magic she pulled earlier had some additional effect on the amount of cum you generated, on top of just refreshing your energy.

Joy rubs her legs together on your back, coming down from her own high. She kisses your cheek tenderly until you pull away and look at her. You have adjusted a bit to the new illumination situation, so you can see her smile as she looks into your eyes. There's a little spark of affection on her face.

Suddenly, your eyes are assaulted by a flash of light, and your ears by a woman's shrill scream.

"Who the fuck are you?!"

With your fight or flight response triggered, you look around frantically, regretting it because of the intense light coming through a doorway, but you see a way down from the top bunk you can now visually confirm you're on.

Joy (whose ass your dick is still firmly within) speaks quickly, "Shhh! Heather, it's me!"

There's a pause, and then, "Joy?"

"You know each o—" you cut yourself off, realizing you're naked and fucking in front of a stranger, presumably on her bed.

"Where the fuck is Anya?"

Joy leans out from under you to more properly address this Heather person. "Oh, I don't know."

Heather gasps, "Is this your new master?"

"Sure is."

"Is Anya dead?!"

"What? No. She used her last wish on immortality, so she most definitely is not."

"I thought you told her not to do that."

"I did! She firmly insisted!"

"Okay, well… please get off my bed."

"I thought you used the bottom bunk."

"After Anya graduated, I took the top."

"Oh… well, okay. We can leave."

Your eyes have almost finished adjusting to the light, and you get a good look at this Heather. It's hard to get a read on her height from your vantage point, but you gather that she's a pale, chubby woman with long brown hair, and she's absolutely rocking a blue crop top. Just then, a green smoke floats into your line of sight.

"Wait, Joy! I've been meaning to ask you wh—"

You're in your kitchen again, on your feet, but still with your dick in Joy's butt. She's on her back on the table once again.

"So… Heather?" you ask.

"Last master's college roommate. And no, I don't know why her elbows are so crusty. She says the baby powder helps, but it doesn't."

"And Anya?"

"Last master. She's immortal now."

"I gathered. Why?"

"She wished for immortality like a dipshit."

"No, why did you take us there?"

"It was the first top bunk I could think of. I didn't think it would be a big deal since I've already had so much sex up there with my last master, Heather, and the harem of anime boys they shared."

"Anime boys?"

Joy's butt plug appears in her hand just as your dick goes soft enough to fall out of her ass on its own, and Joy pops it in, holding in what seems to be an unusually large amount of your cum. "Yeah, my last master was a big ol' weeb. I didn't expect to like it, but two-dimensional cock is actually pretty cool. Strangely, it works. They were all such gentlemen, too."

Options:

Holy shit! Wish for your own harem of anime boys!

Wait, wait. Girls. Wish for an anime girl harem.

Go back and figure out Heather's question (and phone number).

Wish for your old bully to know about all the sex you're having.

[ralvezfanatic]

Although I think Luke is mostly a dom/top, I think he could be a switch.

Warnings: Just a bunch of nsfw headcannons about Luke. No actual story, plot, or smut, but there are mentions/descriptions of sex. HCs for male readers with a dick, and for trans male readers, (both with and without bottom growth).

Domming/topping? He'd manhandle you easily, no matter your size or anything. He's strong, he'll move you, flip you, or carry you to wherever he wants with complete ease.

He can be both rough or gentle with you, whichever you prefer at the moment. Unless he was away from you for long. He'd be rough, desperate to feel you again.

Luke gets desperate when he's spent more than a couple days without you, your kisses, your touch, your body. He'll jump your bones as soon as theres a chance.

He'll be pulling you into a kiss, all messy from his desperation. His hands moving all over your body, glad to be holding you again.

Leading you to your bedroom, or they nearest surface if he can't help himself. There isn't a place in either of your homes where you and him haven't fucked.

On the couch, on the kitchen countertops, in the shower, bathroom sink, against every wall in the house, hell even the floor.

He's clawing at your clothes, trying to rip them off you as quick as possible. He's gotten good at undressing you both in under two minutes.

He's rough at the start, so so desperate (and horny) after being away from you for so long. He can't keep his hands off you, wanting to feel you.

When you have sex, he'd prep you by eating you out. He'd happily bury himself between your thighs, licking and sucking around your entrance, pushing his fingers in to stretch you.

If you have a cunt, he'd happily lick up all your juices. Lapping them up hungrily, unable to get enough of your taste. Its intoxicating, hes addicted to tasting you. He'd praise your taste, your cunt and everything about you as he ate you out.

He'd kiss and lick your clit/dick. (No matter what you have, bottom growth or not, he'll call it a dick.) He'd suck on your bud while pumping his fingers in and out of you.

He could (and would) make you cum just from his mouth and fingers, and he's extremely proud of that.

If you have a dick, he'd still happily go down on you. He'd lick around your hole before starting to prep you.

When he's stretching you, he'd jerk you off slowly. He'd thrust his fingers in and out of you while his other hand pumps your cock.

He'd kiss your tip, give it small licks as he adds another finger into you. He would take your length in slowly, removing his fingers to hold you in place as he sucks you off.

He would either stop right before you cum, having fun with the way you'd cried out in frustration, or keep going until you cum into his mouth, moaning around you whole swallowing all of your seed.

He would keep your cock in his mouth licking every drop of cum off your length until you push him off.

After eating you out, he'd fuck you, even if you finished already. He loves overstimulating you, loving the noises that come out of you, the way you cry from pleasure but don't stop him.

He'd praise you, calling you a good boy for taking him so well, leaning down to wipe away your tears and kiss you so you'd calm down.

Subbing/bottoming? He's needy, way more than when he tops. He allows you to control him completely, obeying your every command. He loves making you happy, and if that means become a desperate needy slut, thats what he'll do.

He definitely prefers to bottom after a really stressful day/case. He loves being taken care of, not having to worry or work too much and just relax for a moment.

Luke definitely has a praise kink, and its more prominent when hes getting topped yk.

He becomes a complete mess under you. No matter if you're fucking him, riding him/his face, he's a mess. He is ADDICTED to your taste, absolutely loves whenever you sit on his face. Quite literally cannot get enough of you.

More on the praise kink. He could probably cum from just being praised while going down on you. Like being praised and tasting you? He couldn't imagine anything better.

He's wasn't used to bottoming before you, never having someone who wanted to top him. So the first time he bottomed for you, he was a bit nervous.

He also never experiment with himself back there, so in a way it felt like you were taking his virginity, to him at least. (Don't question his thinking).

He was sensitive, trying to hold back whimpers when you started to prep him, his own dick leaking precum just from your fingers going in.

Once you added your third finger into him, he was already begging for you to fuck him. He would have came from just your fingers if you didn't stop.

While topping, he's not that loud. He'd praise you a lot and just compliment everything about you. But while bottoming, he'd be a bit louder.

Honestly, he'd whimper.. like I can see this man whimpering as you fuck him stupid.

For aftercare, I think he's big on it. He'd make sure your comfortable, going to get a warm cloth to clean you up first.

He loves to cuddle after sex, preferring to hold and kiss you while thanking you and continuing to compliment you. 9 out of 10 times this results in round 2 or more.

He'd either draw you a bath, depending if you can walk or not. Or he would shower with you.

#luke alvez #criminal minds #luke alvez x male reader #luke alvez x reader #luke alvez headcannons #luke alvez smut #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x male reader #x male reader #male reader #luke alvez imagine

[starrgaziinggg]

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS | lee minho

You finally meet the man your friends Felix and Hyunjin have been blabbing about for the past couple months, and he's a royal pain in the ass.

Lee Minho is a legacy at your university. He received an honorary award when he graduated, got a position as a dancer in a company a week after receiving his diploma...and was renowned as the schools famous ice-cold fuckboy.

After coming back from a three month tour, you're introduced to him through your uni friends...and your life does a 180. It's hard enough to pass classes whilst also trying to navigate your failing relationship...but the added tension that comes with the dance prodigy you seem to be spending more and more time with?

Some would say it's too much to handle.

|Non idol AU|university AU|friends to lovers|

part four

"Jesus, you're soaking, come in," Minho rushes. You're honestly surprised he's in on a Friday night, but you're not complaining. He runs a hand through his messy brown hair, furrowing his eyebrows as he steps aside. "What are you doing here?"

Your voice catches in your throat when you attempt to answer him. What were you doing here? Sure, he'd told you that you could talk to him if you wanted to, but Hyunjin and Felix were also ten minutes down the road. So why had you come to Minho's? Maybe you'd never know.

"Honestly? I'm not sure," you rush, taking off your jacket and placing it on his outstretched arm. "You said you'd listen if I needed to talk shit about my ex, and I don't know if you were being serious, but -"

"I was," he cuts you off, placing your jacket on a radiator in his hallway. "Your ex?"

"My ex," you confirm. He raises his eyebrows with a sigh.

"Why don't I give you some dry clothes to change into, open a bottle of wine, and we can talk all about it?" He offers. You only nod, following him to wherever he was going. You end up standing outside his bedroom, nervously teetering in the doorframe as he picks out clothes for you to wear. Once he's done so, he places the clothes in your arms.

"You can change here. I'll be in the living room," he gives you a half smile before turning on his heel. You close his bedroom door, changing into a pair of grey joggers similar to the ones he's wearing, and a loose fitting t-shirt. It's only when you look at yourself in his mirror, clad in his clothing, that you start thinking this was a stupid idea.

Despite yourself, once changed you join Minho in his living room, where he's got two wine glasses and a bottle of red on his coffee table. He looks up at you with an expression you can't really decipher as you take a seat on the sofa, keeping a small distance between the two of you.

"So," he starts, breaking the silence and pouring you a glass. "I take it something happened for you to come here?"

"Yeah," you take a sip instantly, needing alcohol to get through the situation you'd created for yourself. "I was going to talk to Seungmin about it, but he was out with his team."

Minho nods. "What happened?"

You sigh, holding your glass as you lean back into his sofa. "It's a long story."

"We have all night," he points out, taking a drink from his own glass.

"I was meant to go talk to Doha today, question him about if he was seeing someone else," you start to explain, trying to keep your story as short as possible. The quiet sound of whatever show Minho was watching plays on the tv, helping to reduce the awkward silence between your words. "I went, expecting him to say yes, whatever, and go our separate ways. I wasn't going to cause a fuss since I knew we weren't working out, but that didn't happen."

"Don't tell me he was with her went you went to talk to him?" He guesses. You shake your head.

"Worse than that."

"Worse? What could be worse than walking in on them?"

"Walking in on them, and your best friend is the girl he's been cheating on you with," you answer him, your voice cold.

"Fuck," Minho breathes out, his eyes wide. "The she-witch?"

"The very same. We'd been friends for our whole lives. And the worst part is, I was planning to go to see her after I'd seen him to finally tell her we were breaking up, since I hadn't told her yet," you almost laugh.

"How did they react?" Minho asks, and you're honestly surprised at how invested he is in your story.

"Doha just looked shocked, but didn't really seem to care. Sooyun though, she chased me out his dorm crying, practically begging me to hear her out. I told her never to talk to me again."

Minho whistles, a look you could only describe as pride on his face. "Good for you. You not more sad about the whole thing?"

"More angry than sad," you answer, scooping the rest of the contents of your wine glass. "I'm fucking pissed that I spent four years with him, defended him when you guys would talk shit. I feel like a fucking idiot, like, was I that blind?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Minho says, reverting back to his annoying, brazen self, earning himself a scowl. "But, you were only blind because you were in love. People tend to ignore the bad parts of a person when they're trying to make things work."

You nod, letting Minho refill your empty glasses. "I guess. He's just not the same person I fell in love with."

"People change. They forget themselves, it's not hard to do."

You cock an eyebrow.

"Trust me, I'm not making excuses for him. He's a cunt, end of. I'm just saying that it's not your fault," he explains himself. "I'm saying it's easy for people to lose track of what's actually good for them, in favour of what they think they want. That's nothing on you, so don't think that. You don't think that, do you?"

"No," you say instantly. You know you weren't the reason your relationship failed, you wouldn't do yourself the dishonour of pinning the blame on yourself. "It's just...I dunno, the only thing running through my mind is why her? Why, of all people, my best friend? What did she give him that I couldn't?"

"Maybe sex more than once every two months," Minho says without hesitation, and as much as you want to kill him, you snicker at the comment before you can scowl. "I mean, that's just ridiculous."

"It wasn't like I didn't try!" You laugh, squeezing your eyes shut out of embarrassment. "He was never in the mood, or he'd brush me off. I just thought he was going through a phase, fuck knows. I should have known he was fucking someone else."

"Mm, you should have. That's practically inhumane," Minho chuckles.

You scoff. "Okay, not everyone is a sex crazed maniac like you, Minho."

He shakes his head with a laugh, "And how would you know anything about my sex life?"

"Oh come on," you fire back instantly. "Don't act dim. Lee Minho, our universities ice-cold fuck boy. I think every student in the past four years knows the details of your sex life."

"At least my reputation still proceeds itself," he takes another drink. "Wish people would mind their own business more, though."

"When you fuck half the girl population of a university, it pretty much becomes everyone's business," you point out, picking up the bottle of wine to refill your glasses, until you realise the two of you have already finished an entire bottle. Minho gets up to get another from the wine rack by the dining table. "You keep your wine in your living room?"

"Just the red," he answers from the other side of the room, choosing another bottle. "It's warmer in here. Anyway, I definitely didn't fuck half the girls. I'm picky."

"Oh really? That's not what I heard."

"And what did you hear?" Minho questions, returning to the sofa with another bottle, popping the cork and refilling your glasses as you talk.

"What didn't I hear? 'Lee Minho, the most good looking guy in our uni, slept with me. Albeit only once and he never spoke to me again'," you mock a conversation you'd overheard once.

Minho raises an eyebrow. "Who was that?"

"I dunno," you respond lazily, crossing you legs. "Some girl in my year at the end of last term. Doesn't matter, point is I'm right."

"Oh really?" He challenges. "Did you know half those stories were made up? Sure, I've slept with a fair amount of people, but not half as many as people think. A lot of girls started this stupid bet to see who out of their friend groups I'd sleep with, so I just stopped going for uni girls."

You give him a look, and he shakes his head, almost as if he's embarrassed.

"I don't even know why I'm telling you this," he sighs. You point to the bottle on the coffee table.

"It's the wine, makes you tell all your secrets. Do you have any other interesting stories from your university days?" You ask.

And that's how you spend the next hour, talking about whatever springs to mind regarding horror stories from your uni. It was interesting to you, hearing what happened from Minho's point of view. It gets to the point where your opening your third bottle of wine, definitely feeling it's effects, laughing as Minho talks.

"They got caught in the cupboard?" You question, listening to another one of Minho's stories.

"It was awful, the second hand embarrassment I got that day - I'm pretty sure they both dropped out."

"No wonder," you scoff. "Getting caught having sex in a cupboard during a lecture is pretty much the most embarrassing thing that could happen to you."

You were honestly shocked at how well this night had turned out, considering you were running on anger and stress when you'd arrived at Minho's, half expecting him to turn you away. But here you were, laughing at chatting like life long friends.

"Tell me about it," Minho laughed. "You have any interesting stories?"

"Have you heard about the time Hyunjin ripped his trousers in dance practice?" You said excitedly, noticing your empty glass.

"No, I most definitely haven't," Minho replied with a smirk, looking forward to poking fun at his friend. Before he got the chance to, though, you'd gone to reach for the wine bottle and accidentally knocked it over.

"Fuck," you said lowly, the two of you standing up as you caught the bottle. Only a small amount had spilled, and luckily Minho's living room had wooden flooring, but you felt terrible all the same.

"No, it's fine, I'll get paper towels," Minho said, being chill about it and heading to the kitchen. He returned quickly, handing you a couple sheets. You dipped down, using the paper to soak up the wine. Minho did the same thing, moving closer to you to get the bits you missed.

Once you'd managed to clean most of it, he took the used kitchen towels from you gently. "There," he said with a smile. "Not a problem."

It was only at this point you'd noticed the proximity between the two of you. Maybe it was the tension in the room, the two of you drunk off the wine you'd been drinking. Or maybe, you were just feeling rejected, lonely after the awful scene you'd walked into earlier in the night. But for whatever reason, you felt your body leaning towards his, time coming to a stand still.

Until Minho places a hand on your shoulder, slowly pushing you back. "I, uh, don't think that's a great idea."

You literally felt your stomach drop at the words, snapping out of whatever trance you'd got yourself into. Seriously, what were you doing? Throwing yourself at Minho the second you had an opportunity? Sure, you were only doing it because you were drunk, but still. How were you ever supposed to make a good impression in front of Hyunjin and Felix's friends like this.

"God, sorry," you say, backing away from him and standing up instantly. "That was so stupid of me."

"No, just -" Minho started, though it was clear he didn't really know what he was trying to say.

"No, I should go," you say hurriedly, just wanting to get yourself out of there as soon as you could. "Thanks for everything tonight. Sorry."

"No, it's so late - you're drunk, you can't walk back -"

"I'll be fine, seriously," you say, grabbing your jacket from the radiator and heading to the door. "I'll give you your clothes back the next time I see you."

"C'mon," Minho looked at you with wide eyes, hesitant to open the door for you. "You don't need to leave like this."

"Please let me go," is all you say, and you can tell he can read your expression as he wordlessly opens the door and lets you walk out.

You practically fled down the stairs, not looking back. Fuck, what the hell had you just done? You'd taken Minho's unusual kindness for granted and used it as an opportunity to go for him. You felt like such an idiot, for the second time that day, as you sped walked back to your dorm. You went straight into your bedroom without a second thought, closing the door behind you.

You wanted to scream. Your brain felt like it had been blended, unable to pin a single thought down. You snapped out of it when you heard a knock at your door.

"Hey, you there? Minho's just texted me asking if you got home okay," you heard Seungmin say from the other side of the door. You couldn't help the tears that spilled from your eyes, the caring sound in his voice sending you over the edge.

You opened the door slowly, looking at Seungmin through your eyelashes that were thick with tears. He just wordlessly pulled your towards him, hugging you without a second thought.

You spend the rest of your night in your room with Seungmin, telling him everything that had happened, starting from your bus journey to Doha's and ending with you fleeing from Minho's apartment. He didn't judge you for going to Minho's, knowing you only went because you were angry, upset and stressed. He'd even apologised for not being there for you when you got back from Doha's, but you'd told him not to be silly.

You'd sat together on your bed, cross legged as he listened intently while you spoke, cried, whatever. You were so thankful for the boy in front of you. You'd known him less than a year, been close with him less than two months, yet here he was being a better friend than Sooyun had ever been to you. You'd drifted off somewhere in between talking, sound asleep when Seungmin put your bedcovers over you and left.

The next week was consumed with your sulking. Hyunjin and Felix had been given the shortened version of events, the one that didn't include you going to their friends house and making a move on him. Seungmin had promised to keep it a secret, and you knew he would. He also said Minho probably wouldn't tell anyone else, since he wasn't that type of person, which you were thankful for.

When it got to Thursday, you felt drained, a million thoughts running through your head. You were in the library with Felix and Hyun, and you could feel their eyes on you.

"Yes?" You said, looking to and from your friends. Hyunjin quickly looked away, diverting his eyes from your gaze, whereas Felix only increased his sad look towards you.

"I'm sick of this," Hyunjin announces, unable to take your miserable moping anymore. "You need to be reminded of how fun life can be when you're not tied down by a rotten man."

Felix nods enthusiastically, blonde mullet shaking. "It makes me sad seeing you so sad."

You sigh. "What do you suggest?"

"We're all going out tomorrow. Clubbing. We'll get the guys in on it too, what do you think?" Hyunjin suggests, an enthusiastic smile on his face as he waits for your answer.

"I dunno, we've got our mid semester examination next week. I know it's not that important, but still," you counter. It's a weak excuse, and you know that.

"Oh come on, you really think we're going to give in to that?" Felix says sweetly. "We just want to see you smiling again."

That's what gets you. Felix's kind words and Hyunjin's pleading eyes. You end up giving in quickly, and it's not long until you're throwing all the clothes you own onto the ground, unable to find anything club suitable.

Seungmin, Jeongin and, unluckily for you Minho, had been roped into coming clubbing too. Lucky for Chan, Jisung and Changbin, they had valid excuses for not being able to attend, unlike you.

"You ready yet?" Seungmin shouted through to you, clearly waiting for you so you could head out together. You'd planned to have a couple drinks at your dorm with the boys before you went out, so you were rushing to get ready before they showed up.

"No," you answered with a groan. Seungmin pushed open the door to your room and rolled his eyes. "I have nothing to wear."

"You have heaps of clothes," he counters, leaning against your door. "Wait till Jeongin comes over, he's good with fashion, get him to pick you something."

"Okay," you sighed, deciding to put your faith in Jeongin.

"Good, I'm going to the shop to get drink so if the boys come, buzz them in," he lets you know, so you nod up at him. "And, for the love of god, stop sulking. Makes you look ugly. We're gonna have a good night."

You flip Seungmin off, but stand up and attempt to shake yourself out of the bad mood you were in all the same. Not long after, you heard your intercom buzz and pressed the button to let them in, heart rate spiking. As much as you hated to admit it, you were nervous about seeing Minho, after making nothing short of a fool out of yourself in front of him a week ago. You were lucky Jeongin was the first one to walk into your dorm.

"Hey," you said, giving him a wave. Hyunjin smiled at you from behind him, the other two boys behind him. "Seungmin said you could help me pick out an outfit?"

Jeongin seemed to light up at that, a grin appearing on his face. "Of course I can!"

"Good, cause I'm about to have a meltdown," you laughed, motioning for him to follow you to your bedroom. You shouted through to the boys. "Seungmin's at the shops but there's some alcohol in the kitchen."

They nod and chat amongst themselves as they make their way through to the kitchen/living area of your dorm as you lead Jeongin to your room.

"Oh my," his jaw drops upon walking into your bomb site of a room, clothes strewn everywhere. You laugh at his reaction, thankful that you got to see him before inevitably facing Minho.

"I'm the worst when it comes to putting an outfit together. I haven't been clubbing for ages," you explain, watching as he starts rummaging through your clothes.

"Don't worry," he says cheerfully, and you swear you've never seen him without a smile on his face. "I'll sort you something out."

You spend the next ten minutes laughing and chatting with Jeongin as he picks out your outfit, spending a while putting different things together until he picks you out something you honestly never would have chosen, but end up loving it as soon as you put it on. Spending time with Jeongin had honestly loosened you up a bit, since you'd been stressed about seeing Minho all night.

When the two of you walked through to your kitchen/living area, Seungmin had returned and the boys were already downing shots like they were going out of fashion. You're instantly handed a shot on arrival, as is Jeongin, and you both give each other a shrug as you down them. You were going clubbing after all, and everyone knows it's only fun once you get a drink in you.

"So, you excited for tonight?" Felix asks you as he pours you a proper drink using the alcohol Seungmin had bought, the two of you in the kitchen area of the room. Hyunjin and Minho are talking on the sofa, whereas Jeongin and Seungmin have perched themselves on the breakfast bar stools.

"As excited as I can be, I guess," you say nervously, trying not to look at the man sitting on the sofa to the left of you. You'd assumed Minho hadn't told the other boys what had happened between the two of you, since you know Hyun and Felix wouldn't hesitate to berate you for your poor decision making and drunk antics. What better way than to try and forget about them by drinking again? Hair of the dog, as Hyunjin would say.

"Oh cheer up, bubs," Felix smiles, nudging your shouldering with his own from beside you. "You don't need either of them. You've got us now."

"Stop being cringe, Felix," Jeongin screws his face up with a wide smile. "He's right, though. We can have fun dancing tonight so you can forget about them!"

Seungmin scoffs. "Easier said that done, Jeong," he faces you. "You just need to fuck someone else to get over him."

Jeongin's innocent eyes widen as you laugh. "Two very different opinions," you point out as you all but down your drink, wanting to feel the effects of the alcohol you were drinking.

"Regardless," Felix speaks up. "Drinking always solves life problems."

"I'd say it creates more," Seungmin counters. "Every time you drink you say you're never drinking again."

"Whatever," you hear Felix huff as the two younger boys laugh at his reaction, giving him a nudge.

You were lucky that Hyunjin and Minho kept their conversation going almost the whole time you were in your dorm, the two of them seemingly forgetting the rest of you were there. God knows what they were discussing, but you paid it no mind as you got yourself drunk.

You all decided it was time to leave when Felix's drinks were capped, Hyunjin swooping in to stop his best friend getting too drunk too quickly. You all took two Ubers to the club, the group splitting in half. And, surprise surprise, Minho just so happened to go into the Uber you hadn't gone into, Hyunjin and Lix joining you instead.

It wasn't until you were all actually at the club that you thought he was avoiding you, lights flashing and music blaring, as you realised he was seemingly making every conscious effort to steer clear from you.

You'd all walked into the club together, all gotten drinks together, sure, but had Minho spoken one word directly to you? Not a single one. Seungmin had even flashed you a strange look at one point, noticing the weird behaviour of his friend.

You paid it no mind as you danced with Jeongin, laughing and smiling with the younger boy who was beginning to become one of your favourite people. You knocked back drinks with Seungmin, the only one out of the group that could keep up with your drinking pace. You'd even ended up sandwiched between Felix and Hyun at one point, the two of them whipping out the worlds worst dance moves to make you laugh.

And you were having a great time, you really were, but the fact that wherever you were Minho was not was starting to drive you insane. You knew you'd fucked up by trying to kiss him last week. You were well aware of it, in fact. But it didn't mean the two of you couldn't be friends, right? So, why was Minho being so insistent on icing you out?

You didn't even get time to dwell on it, because after you'd rejoined with Felix who had waited outside the bathroom for you so you weren't wandering around on your own, you caught a glimpse of the man of the hour with his arm slung round some leggy brunette.

Realistically, no part of you should have felt any jealousy in this situation. You're both single, so uninvolved with each other that you couldn't get farther apart, and yet here you were, giving them the daggers. Luckily your blonde best friend was far too drunk to notice your pathetic pining, just grabbing your hand to lead you back to the rest of the boys.

Maybe you were only jealous because he rejected you. Maybe it was because even though he rejected you, you actually got on well with him a lot of the time and still wanted to be friends, yet he seemed not to care less. Or maybe, you wished you were in her position.

You couldn't help it. You were infuriatingly and undeniably attracted to the cocky, endearing and witty man that was looking into the eyes of the girl beside him like he wanted to fuck her. It was just a stupid crush, a result of hearing about how god like he was from Felix and Hyunjin for months, and you knew that. But it didn't take away the burning feeling in your chest.

It was somewhere between the sixth shot or fourth drink of the night that you noticed him leave the club with the girl, her leading him through the crowd. You'd only noticed because of Jeongin's comment.

"There he goes again," he said with a chuckle. "At least Jisung doesn't have to hear him anymore."

Your hangover lasted the whole weekend. You'd lost any memory of the night from after Minho had left, but Seungmin had informed you that you'd all stayed maybe an hour longer before he took you home. He had admitted you were not in a great state, but neither was he, and from what he remembers of coming home he'd helped you brush your teeth and sent you to bed. You'd woken up with your makeup still on, your clothes from last night clinging to your body, and a killer headache.

When you'd showed up to your classes of the week after spending the rest of the weekend dying on the sofa and watching old movies with Seungmin, Hyunjin and Felix almost felt as bad as you looked. The sunglasses and hoodie you'd sported on Monday had made you look like Maddie from Euphoria, and the boys had fully understood their essential purpose, the bags under your eyes unfit to be viewed by human kind.

You'd decided you'd contracted some sort of illness when, on the Wednesday, you were still feeling like shit. You couldn't go to a lecture without coughing your lungs up, falling asleep or having to take a couple of paracetamol tablets. It couldn't have come at a worse time, since your mid semester practical dance examination was on Friday and you still hadn't even finished choreographing your two minute routine.

Trying to ignore the fact you were feeling rotten, you'd booked one of the modern dance studio rooms to at least finish choreographing your routine. Felix had promised to join and help you, so imagine your surprise when none other than Lee Minho pushes open the door to the room your attempting to dance in.

"What the fuck?" You can't help but breathe out, your thoughts getting the better of yourself as you start coughing, out of breathe. "Where's Lix?"

Minho saunters in unfazed, as if you didn't try to kiss him two weeks ago, or he didn't ignore you the whole night last weekend. He looks great, you hate to admit, baggy black trousers and loose fitting white t-shirt hanging perfectly on him, leaning against the mirrored wall as he speaks up.

"He didn't tell you?" He questions, which you shake your head at as you take a sip of water from your bottle. "He's not gonna be here for another hour and a half, and he said you only booked the room out for three hours so he asked me to help you until he could make it."

You groan, your lifeless body slumping onto the floor. "Why can't he be here?"

"You act as if you aren't excited to see me," Minho says, his tone jarring. "I'm doing you a favour, here."

"No," you retort huffily. "You're doing Lix a favour."

"I'm here helping you, aren't I?" He rolls his eyes, crossing his arms and looking at you with a fed up expression. "Felix said it's your mid sem exam on Friday."

"Yup," you answer, not knowing if you're loving or hating the fact he seems to not have any interest in discussing the topics hanging in the air between to two of you.

"So, show me what you've got so far," he raises an eyebrow, holding his hand out as if to say, go on.

So, you heave yourself off the floor, play the music you'd chosen for your exam and start to dance. You took a quick glance at Minho's expression a couple times, unable to read what he's thinking until you finish dancing before the music stops and he nods his head.

"What you've got so far is good," he starts, pulling himself off of the mirrored wall.

"But?" You say, breathless as you wait for him to continue.

"I know you can do better," he chooses to say, and you huff in a bratty manner.

"You know, I've never even seen you dance," you point out. "You're always so quick to critique me when you could be shit for all I know."

He thinks for a second, looking up as if searching his brain for the information he's looking for, until he finally decides what he wants to say. "How about this. I dance for you, show you I actually know what I'm talking about as if you're not already aware I'm a good dancer, and you stop being a brat and let me help you."

You choose to ignore the cocky comment hidden in his statement, choosing to nod your head and move to sit beside the mirrored wall instead, as Minho moves to the middle of the room. It's only a small practice room, one of the ones in the new building, but it works for when you want to practice in peace.

Minho uses his phone to choose a piece of music to dance to wordlessly, looking as though he couldn't care less about having to perform in front of you. You have a million bitchy comments ready on the top of your tongue, but you're stupidly shut up when the man starts to dance.

He's incredible. He makes every move look easy, performing them flawlessly without a second thought. He's captivating to watch, and you realise you're biting back every comment you wanted to make, entranced as you watch the man before you move.

He doesn't even break a sweat when he's finished, as if this is easy work for him, which you guess it is since he literally dances for a living. He turns the music off, and as soon as you're waiting for him to make some cocky, snarky remark, he only tilts his head in your direction. It's at this point you wonder if he actually was nervous to perform for you, his eyes looking straight into yours to look for any sign that you didn't enjoy it.

"Okay, so you know how to dance," you say, not wanting to lick his ass too much. "Help me fix my dance."

He chuckles at you, a hearty sound that makes you realise you've missed hearing him laugh, since everything got too heavy between you both. All your doing, you know, but still.

He spends the next hour watching you perform for him, fixing your positioning in places you're lacking and dancing alongside you to add in new moves. You tell him he can't change it too much, since you're supposed to choreograph the majority of himself, and he starts asking you questions. It's weird, how Minho can turn you voicing your ideas into actual moves that flow perfectly in your dance. You realise everything that's been said about how spectacular of a dancer Minho is was true.

At one point, he's behind you, watching you move from through the mirror. You only scuff up your move because you feel him staring at you, eyes piercing through you with a stone cold expression. He stops you all the same, catching the arm that moved when it shouldn't have done in his hand and gently pulling it back down.

"Thought you could let that slip past me, huh?" He shakes his head, narrowing his eyes at you as he moves in closer behind you to reposition your arm. Your breath catches in your throat when he puts his free hand on your hip to move your body to the side. "Again."

You try not to let your facial expression falter as you redo the move, knowing he's watching you from the mirror. He raises his eyes in approval when he watches you complete the move correctly, but doesn't make any attempt to move away from you, instead moving impossibly closer to talk into your ear. "Much better."

You can't take it any more. You practically shake yourself, slipping out of his hold to turn your back to mirror and screw your eyes shut, shaking your head as you talk.

"Stop it," you say to him, opening your eyes to his half smirk.

"Stop what?" He says stupidly, playing dumb.

You sigh, exasperated. "You know exactly what you're doing."

"Enlighten me."

It's like a challenge, the way he says it. Tell me what you're thinking, he's saying in less words. Tell me why you don't want me to touch you.

"Stop playing fucking dumb, Minho," you almost groan in defeat, knowing how easy it is for him to get you to crack. "You flirt with me, act like a cocky bastard and push me to my limits just to brush me off and ignore me. It's impossible - you're impossible."

He stays quiet, just eyeing you up, until he says, "You're hot when you get all riled up like this, you know."

You want to scream. "What?" You say, fed up with the mixed signals.

"You heard me," is all Minho says, refusing to back down.

Your back is almost right against the mirror now, and you don't know whether that's because Minho's moving forward or your just instinctively moving backwards.

"You have no idea what it's like to be on the receiving end of this torture," you huff, but you don't get another word in edgeways when Minho actually does take a step closer to you, minimising the gap between you both.

"No," he starts, taking his restraints off. "You don't understand what it's like to have you consume every thought I have."

Oh?

"I hardly know you, yet I can't stop thinking about you. You act as if I'm being mean to you by ignoring you, but I'm doing you a favour," he goes on to say, and you're even more confused. "Do you know, when you leaned into me that night, how badly I wanted to kiss you?"

Oh?

You know you look like a mess in front of him, out of breath from dancing and the way he's staring at you with those eyes.

"It took everything in me to push you away, because I knew if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to stop. And that wouldn't have been fair to you. You were so upset, and angry, and I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I'd taken advantage of that," he explains, his jaw clenching as he talks, as if it's taking just as much restraint as it did then, now.

"Why didn't you explain that instead of ignoring me?" You manage to say, your voice quiet.

"I would have, if you hadn't run out of my apartment without a second thought."

Ah. That kind of shuts you up. "I don't really know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything. I just wanted you to know that I didn't not kiss you because I'm not attracted to you, or I don't like you. Cause it's pretty obvious, I do."

"Didn't stop you from going home with that girl the other night," You can't help but say, regretting the words almost as soon as they leave your mouth.

Minho almost laughs, but appears to stop himself. You already think he's making fun of you for this whole thing, whatever that is, but looking at how adorable you looked asking about that girl cracks him.

"I put her in a cab, sent her home and went home myself afterwards. Don't start getting clingy now, though," he warns, the raised eyebrow he sports making you feel all kinds of nervous. "It was your night, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable after what had happened the week before."

"It would have made me less uncomfortable if you'd have just talked to me," you point out, tilting your head at him. He moves closer, almost, almost touching you.

"If I'd have spoken to you, the night would have ended with you back at mine and that pretty little outfit Jeongin chose for you on the floor."

You don't have a second to react, since cockblock of the century Lee Felix opens the door to the studio as you pretty much shove Minho away from you, acting as if he didn't just admit he wants to fuck you.

"Hey, hey, god I'm sorry! I forgot I had an assignment for one of my extracurriculars, so I've been in the library since class ended working on it!" Felix explains, rushing his words and dumping his bag on the floor. "Has Minho helped?"

You can't even begin to find the words to reply to your best friend, so your thankful when Minho steps in in an attempt to save the situation. "Yeah, choreo's done, just needs cleaned it up."

"Great, you gonna stay longer?" Felix asks Minho, who shakes his head.

"Nah, I have to get back to feed the cats," Minho says, giving you a wink that goes undetected by Felix and makes you want to hit your head against the wall whilst he says his goodbyes to Lix and leaves the room. You cant focus when Felix starts babbling, putting his dance trainers on and tying his hair up.

And even though you're so confused as to whatever the hell had just happened, the one thing going through your mind was, Minho has cats?

PART FIVE HERE!

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