#you can support us now

[honeykaes]

I know Black History Month starts next week so I kinda have a few reminders n tips.

Even after Feb, please continue to support and uplift Black writers on this site and people outside of this site.

As I’m sure you’re aware being Black and in fandoms is difficult to say the least with constant berating of our race/skin, the struggle to read fics we see ourselves in etc along with the community label bullshit occurring throughout this site.

On the first of Feb I’m going to try to do a “your w black writer, promote yourself by reblogging” thing so hopefully visibility can be seen for us.

#but again don’t just support us then #you can support us now #and after #(I hope this made sense) #—kaeyatic krambles

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[langernameohnebedeutung]

ngl, I'm beginning to take issue with how in conversations about anti-intellectualism almost automatically, the face of girls and women will be slapped on the problem.

#'all those tiktok girls who only like marvel films and' - why do you always say girls and women? are the guys filling opera halls instead? #'women in their mid 20s who still only read YA novels' okay sure that's an example and relevant discussions can be had #but it reminds me of the mocking tone in which people speak of 'chick-lit' to use women's interest as an indicator of lower value #while in fact women are reading more than men in EVERY single genre of fiction. Women are doing a lot of (often unpaid) labour #supporting libaries supporting theatres supporting cultural events #meanwhile there is a pretty big overlap between toxic masculinity and anti-intellectualism #(especially misogyny and homophobia) #especially when it comes to things like ballet or opera or musical or generally dance #in fact it is often the female investment in specific things that makes them less 'valuable' in general consciousness #for thousands of years the theatre was well-respected and a high form of art - and now it's a 'wife-thing' #the father who will teach his son that theatre and dance are for girls - how is that never an example for anti-intellectualism

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.'' #bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less. #and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help. #we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

[axolotlclown]

We need to remember that Shubble stated that Wilbur would manipulate and gaslight friends and family. With this, we must be patient with streamers that were close to Wilbur. This was likely surprising and shocking for them. They may need time to come to terms with what has happened.

I have been vocal about how important it is for men to be critical about abusive behaviors. However, Wilbur had many close friends—some would even consider him family—and now they may feel they hardly knew him at all.

There is a deep stress felt by viewers. It is difficult to think we have given any amount of time or money to an abuser. Could you imagine a close friend right now? The pain and betrayal must sear. They need time to understand what has happened and come to terms with it. Many of them may not be live in the coming days (weeks even).

That being said, as time passes, criticism may be necessary. Complacency is not an option. Men that are willing to ignore abuse to protect an abuser are just as pathetic as the abusers themselves.

Let's give this situation time to breathe. I ask that we give patience and courtesy to those close to Wilbur at this time. But please do not forget that this happened. There may be a few streamers hoping to lay low and then drop a collab in a few months. Do not let them. This is too important.

#for now #the best thing we can do is spread awareness about abuse and offer support to domestic violence victims #i also want to add #that any previous art made about him was made with pure intentions #obviously its up to each individual to decide where the line is #but maybe lets not support him monetarily moving forward #that seems to be the move #anyway #please be kind to each other and give each other space #especially domestic violence survivors that may be here with us #and those who may have realized they were/are abused from shubbles story #i want to offer her and everyone around as much support as i can #if any domestic violence survivers have any stories they want to share #my dms and askbox are open #if anyone suspects that someone in their life may be abusing someone #this offer is open to you too #we need to talk about this #thoughts of dante #wilbur soot #shubble #im tagging this under shubble even though the post isnt really about her but i want the tags of this post to reach #whoever needs to read them

[uncanny-tranny]

Social transition being seen (by some) as this super easy thing that isn't as hard as real transitioning (medical) is bullshit. Be critical of the idea that there are some trans people who just "have it easy" because they are trans or because they are trans in ways you may not be.

Social transition is just as difficult, hard, and rewarding as medical transition. Maybe it is not as hard for some, sure, but that is not the same as thinking that social transition is inherently easier or lesser. If you're socially transitioning, your voice still matters.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #not to mention that so many people DO want to medically transition but *can't* #so it can be even harder for some when they feel social transition is their only option when they don't want it to be #but social transition carries its own risks and challenges and again rewards #and i've seen this idea plenty where it's like 'oh you don't GET my struggles because you're SOCIALLY transitioning' #and while yes i am different than some trans people to say i'm struggling *more* if i'm the only one medically transitioning is??? huh???? #i don't buy into this idea that social transition is never scary because you don't have the boot of the medical system on your back #(though non-med or pre-med transitioning people still face issues in medical settings so even THEN we aren't seperate) #like there's very few ways you can separate my issues as a medically-transitioning person and the issues of somebody who isn't... #...and by that i mean there's few ways you can separate our issues so that mine trumps theirs or that i'm seen as like... trans but More #does that make sense? #medical transitioning is important but that doesn't mean it is *more* important or that only *it* is important #you can support us who are medically transitioning without erasing the experiences and struggles of other trans people #and plus... so many of us who are medically transitioning NOW are the people who socially transitioned THEN #and dare i say i despised social transition more because of how hard it was? medical transition has been (more or less) easier... #...in that i can just *be* now

[shower-phantom-ideas]

The Batman gets locked up in walkers prison! 😲

Walker left the zone to arrest him too why? Because clearly he is neglecting the child king! Smh. 😔 Walker greatly respects the rules but now that King Phantom is in place he respects something more. This child has brought order back to the zone (not really he kinda just wrote off some rules for Walker to enforce to get him out of his hair) and even after Walker imprisoned him too! So now hes back to his old ways of bending the rules to fit his whims. But this weird Bat Man person is deserving of a harsh punishment, that or a good thrashin’, for how hes done gone and treated their new King! Can’t the man tell the boy has a familial bond with ‘em? For cryin out loud the youngin already gave em core charm! No all the others can clearly see plain as day that hes apart of the boys family. (Danny made Batman an ice ward that helps protect from other ghosts… or so he thought oops it’s telling all the other ghosts that hes Danny fam)

Yet despite all this the man still is refusing to bring the kid into his fold. You don’t just go on and do that to a young one. Their King is only a baby and now this man has gone and ignored him like hes plans to go out to get some milk and never come back. Can’t he see how this is affecting his development? Walker wont have anyone doin that to his ghost King No Sir. Hes gonna education this man himself if he has to. Rehabilitation is something he can do. It’s within his jurisdiction after all.

#danny phantom #dp x dc #dpxdc #🤠 #discusting use of my og accent #I can get worse yall #me and walker are from the same part of the workd #hell #bruce has no idea danny basically imprinted on him and all of a sudden a ghost is here to tell him anout the child support he aint been pay #lmao he doesn’t get a choice to pay child support tho xD he will accept danny feelings #or walker is gonna lock him up xD how funny #im not worry for the emoji’s #I meant sorry but I guess I am sorry #walker just come in and: you can’t reject kids like that! #bruce is confused cause walker tells him danny is like hardly 2 years old #walker using his ghost age #now bruce is super worried about phantom because he doesn’t know about ghost age #oh god two you say??!? im horrible despicable #I asked a literal toddle to give me cover fire #oh god I let a baby get shot #OH GOD I ATTACKED AN ACTUAL BABY #danny just sneezes while sippin a smoothie unaware

[puppyeared]

Why are ppl scared to call it what it is and say we’re still going thru covid on top of seasonal illness. Like. That’s pretty important right. I was watching the news and they were like oh yeah we have an unprecedented number of flu cases “as well as other sicknesses” without actually saying Covid. No announcement abt vaccinations or masking or anything. Also if I hear someone joking abt “war flashbacks” for mentioning covid I fucking hate u

#source: most of my family members are nurses and it was so bad for one of them they had to be put on a ventilator. in the hospital they #worked at. looking back I think I had a reason to feel a little offput by the shows of support early pandemic #with people tying blue ribbons around trees and lighting signs blue to support healthcare workers #I get that it was supposed to be moral support when we couldn’t do anything but follow health advisories #and it did matter to make them feel uplifted and do something than nothing. im not gonna deny that #but. you can still help now. u know that right. you still have a responsibility here #u can still mask up. u can still get vaxxed and call in sick to avoid infecting others #don’t leave it on healthcare workers to pick up the pieces just because they were doing it before. do u think they had a choice? #nobody likes picking up the slack for someone else and now that we have more tools to do smth couldn’t we just. do it???? #im not a virologist but i also feel like continuing to let it get worse by letting more mutations develop #could continue to set us back since this virus is pretty good at fucking us up long term and finding new ways to do that #while there are ppl still researching covid which is STILL A RELATIVELY NEW VIRUS. and studying possible treatment and cures #yapping #vent

[bizarrelittlemew]

i was hoping to make a post like this under happier circumstances, but here goes.

as some of you know, everything with the cancellation and renewal campaign has happened right on top of the worst part of my mom's cancer treatment (plus the show was cancelled on my actual birthday 💀). i won't go into details, but it's been tough. lots of ups and downs, mostly downs, luckily ending (for now) on as much of an up as circumstances allow. the whole thing has been weirdly tied to the cancellation for me, kind of amplifying every feeling. the grief got mixed up, and there was so much of it - mourning the loss of the kind of future i thought i'd have with my mother and the time we might not get, mourning the end of a show that means so much to me and is such a big part of my life. different types of grief, sure, and of different magnitudes, but in one big ugly swirl. i sort of had a breakdown right at the start of february, and it was because of news about my mom, but it morphed into my brain telling me everything i'd ever written was shit and wanting to delete it all. stuff like that, spilling over.

anyway. i was holding off on writing this post to see if the show got picked up by someone else. but i still want to say it. because what also spilled over was the support and community from this fandom, and being in this space (despite the rough times and high emotions) helped me through it, because of all of you here. whether we talk regularly, or you left a comforting reply or simply a like on one of my posts about having a hard time (i tried to keep them few), or wrote a nice comment on a fic, or said something funny or nice or insightful in the tags of a gifset, or was active here (or on twt) in any way, talking/sharing/creating stuff about the show - THANK YOU.

you all helped me through all the ups and downs, and i am so grateful. thank you for being here, listening, distracting, helping me feel some joy despite the horrors. i love you and i love this incredible show and all it has brought and will continue to bring and inspire, and although it should go without saying, i'm not going anywhere. just do me a favor and give yourself a big ol' hug from me, and know that you made a difference for some random guy on the internet (but in reality for many more, and for this fandom as a whole, just by being here and being you) 💕

#🐭📓 #oh wow this got long #i grieved so much in january and never truly got my hopes up even though i of course wished something would happen #that the second “cancellation” message did not hit me as hard as it did for others - like i'd already absorbed that reality #but no matter what. all the effort was worth it - even for just the slightest chance of renewal and showing the cast and crew all the love #and seeing the fandom rally and all the fun moments we found along the way in a shitty situation none of us wished to be in #and for the record - i don't think this means there is no possibility of anything happening in the future #i just think the current/immediate negotiations fell through due to the current streaming landscape #you never know what can happen even if nothing happens for years #it's just that it's not happening right now and we shouldn't be at the edge of our seats. but instead settle into long term fandom mode #instead of constant campaign mode. keep showing all our love for the show and letting it inspire us and move us #and keep supporting the cast and crew in their next works #there is so much more to come from the same creative minds #and i for one am looking forward to experiencing it with you all 💗 #ok i will stop rambling now skdjfhdjks

[n4rval]

back to college resolutions: ill

#artwork #great timing for a bacterial tonsillitis #i was meant to post this a few days ago but i was: you guessed it skhfksdhfgd ill #dnw im better now ive got an attentive ghost roomie #and a supportive dad who can prescribe and guide me through the use of antibiotics #adulting alone in a strange city is hard #wd gaster #gaster #undertale #deltarune #wingdings and me

[starrysharks]

STICKERz

#zeno's art #ocs #ultimate x-calibur #nova starbridge #optico #of course a redraw of jan's new years piece #have i improved? idk #i guess my artstyle is more cartoony now #i want to say i've gotten better at coloring but i used less colors here than i did in jan #this will be the end of the purple period (lying) #also whenever i draw personal art i always feel guilty i've got like 10 comms to do 😭 #i hope you guys can forgive me #here's to a year with better art #and also 2024 WILL be the year i start a band it's been my dream it will happen god willing #even tho i've gotta get a gee-tar first... maybe i'll practice my sister's dusty old acoustic to get used to holding them #ok. sorry i was weird this year but thank you all for supporting me!

[daffi-990]

WIP Wednesday 🏥

Tagged by @tizniz & @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove (and so many others over the past week and a bit)

My brain is still taking a vacation after the mammoth that is Rival Firefighters 🚒 (she’s 85K people), but here’s a little something I’ve been very slowly chipping away at from LA Lonely 🏙 (it’s rough and from the notes app on my phone sooo please be kind 😅)

They’ve just handed off a teenager with a TB fracture after a failed attempt at parkour, when Eddie sweeps through the ER doors making a beeline for the nurses station.

He looks harried, his posture rigid and tense, tripping the alarm bells in Buck’s head, their siren sounding out Chris Chris Chris.

“Hey Bobby, can you give me a minute?” he hooks his thumb over his shoulder towards Eddie and some of his worry must be bleeding through because Bobby’s brow furrows in concern before he gives Buck a nod. “Thanks Cap.”

Buck jogs over to Eddie who is tapping his fingers restlessly against the counter of the nurses station.

“Eddie!”

Eddie startles and turns to face him. “Buck?”

“Are you okay? Is Chris —“

“Chris and I are fine.” Eddie reassures him and Buck feels his next breath come easier with the weight of fear no longer crushing his chest. Eddie runs a hand through his hair, his shoulders dropping with a shaky exhale. “My Abuela fell while watching Chris. I’ve been trying to get some kind of support for him, but there’s so much red tape and Abuela insisted she was fine watching him. I should’ve put my foot down and told her no, figured something else out.”

“Hey,” Buck places a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, ducking his head to catch Eddie’s eyes, “this isn’t your fault.”

“Then why does it feel like it is?”

There’s so much guilt swimming in Eddie’s eyes and Buck wishes he had the right words to say to alleviate some of it.

No pressure tagging: @diazsdimples @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks @wikiangela @wildlife4life @watchyourbuck @missmagooglie @mellaithwen @monsterrae1 @neverevan @bekkachaos @nmcggg @captain-hen @lover-of-mine @loserdiaz @ladydorian05 @exhuastedpigeon @elvensorceress @eddiebabygirldiaz @evanbegins @rainbow-nerdss @rewritetheending @the-likesofus @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @try-set-me-on-fire @athenagranted @steadfastsaturnsrings @sunshinediaz @spagheddiediaz @shitouttabuck @devirnis @bidisasterevankinard @fortheloveofbuddie @fiona-fififi @giddyupbuck @honestlydarkprincess @homerforsure @hoodie-buck @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 and as always, anyone else who wants to share something -> consider this your official tag 🏷

#daffi writes #Buck is already so attached to Chris and Eddie and like .. can you blame him? #wip: la lonely #I miss writing but after rivals I’ve got a very empty tank #using what I have left to re-read and edit #also all the love to James for beta reading rivals .. he’s the real mvp ❤️ #biggest hype man and supporter #love you and thank you ❤️ #… sorry just got hit with some feels .. I’m done now I swear 😅 #buddie wip #buddie

[chrollohearttags]

y’all don’t be giving what y’all think you do when you compare one oppressed group to another. Quickest way for me to tune the fuck out of what you’re saying.

#‘but when it was blm—‘ #and what did black people get besides gaslighted and disrespected #not to mention the whole movement was co opted and has been boiled down to a quirky aesthetic for non blks #we said stop killing us and everybody got defensive lmao get the fuck #I guess all lives matter and blue lives matter was just a joke #don’t piss me the fuck off #you can support Palestine without guilt tripping black ppl #cherry chats 🍒 #the organization at its core is trash now anyways so where do we go from here

[hannie-dul-set]

i personally don’t agree with your statement what you’re expected to reblog. i thought i could just use this app for fun and to read about my fav artists without being expected to do anything, and never really planned on being active and making reblogging a routine parr of my reading experience

then i guess you're not really aware with how this app works. tumblr is a reblogging site. that's the only way posts, or in this case fics, can get around and reach new audiences. the algorithm doesn't care aboit likes. tumblr doesn't care about comments (but i appreciate those as well!!)

if you enjoy and have fun reading the works of authors who spend hours of their days making content for you to consume, don't you think the bare minimum you can do is click that tiny button at the bottom of the post to show your appreciation, no?

#never too late to add reblogging to your reading experience!!!! #i've been on this platform for years now and the number of authors—friends—i've seen leave this site and quit writing bcs of the lack of #interaction. lack of feedback they get from their readers is more than i can count on my fingers!!! #tldr. reblogging supports content creators. if you can't even do that then this isn't the platform for you. #(and would just like to clarify for the general public— i won't block you just bcs you don't reblog /my/ works. #if your blog is empty i'd simply assume no one uses it/is a bot/doesn't know how to use this dammed app

[cerise-on-top]

Ghost with a Transmasc!S/O

I've been wanting to write this since last week! I'm not exactly happy with how it turned out, but maybe someone else can enjoy it as well!

When you’d approach him, all nervous and fumbling around, he’d just stay quiet. Sure, he’ll tell you that, no matter what, you can tell him anything and he won’t judge you, but he won’t pressure you into telling him what’s wrong either, even if he is pretty curious. If you need an hour until you can tell him, then he’ll wait that hour, reassuring you that it’s alright. Once you tell him that you’re a man, he would only be half surprised. He’s seen how you eye other men. While he may have thought that could have been attraction at first, once you come out to him, all the pieces fall into place. You weren’t in love with them, you were admiring them. However, he won’t judge you in the slightest, but will talk to you about what’s okay for you and what isn’t. Are you alright with him bringing up the past? Are you alright with him referring to certain body parts? If not, then he’ll keep that in mind. He’s never really been dysphoric before, so he doesn’t really know what you’re going through, but he tries his darndest to be supportive of you.

In fact, you coming out to him as a trans man makes him think about his own masculinity. What does it mean to him? How would he define it? What makes him feel masculine? Those are things he never really questioned before since he’s never seen himself as anything but a man, he always took it for granted. Although he may not say it, or even realize it at first, I think he might grow more comfortable in his own masculinity as a result.

But that aside, the first thing he does would be taking you to a clothes store to buy you some new clothes. He doesn’t really have an eye for aesthetics, and menswear being usually rather dark in color doesn’t help that much either, but he’ll pick out some shirts and pants for you that would fit you and that you might like. He’d also pick out some boxer shorts for you, the same brand that he uses since those are of a higher quality and will last a bit longer. If you’re extremely nervous about it, then he’ll even go to the cashier and pay for you. You don’t even need to pay him back. As long as he can help you out somehow, he’ll pay any price. Will also buy you some men’s body wash and deodorant. Probably the same he uses since he’s familiar with it.

If you’re alright with it, then he’ll break anyone’s nose who dares to misgender you. Especially on the days where you’re feeling a bit more dysphoric. Naturally, he won’t out you to people when there’s danger involved or when you tell him not to, but he’s not above getting into a fight for you. Especially when some transphobe decides they need to be mean to you for no reason. He’s a scary man, he can intimidate most people with his resting face alone, which he uses to his advantage.

If you can get the approval for your surgeries and testosterone the regular way, then he’ll congratulate you and celebrate with you even. However, if you were denied such, then he has acquaintances who can get you the permits. Nikolai is a good lad, he can get you just about anything. Ghost will fight for your clinical reports.

Once you start going on T, he’ll actually be overjoyed with you. As silly as it may sound, he wants to record you saying something, anything at all, so he can compare your voice now to how it develops later on. He’s pretty good with faces, he probably has a few pictures of you on his phone, even if they aren’t plenty, so he’s confident he’ll be able to tell you how you’re slowly growing into a body that is yours. If you let him, he’ll even administer your shots or rub the gel onto your shoulders. It actually makes him incredibly happy when you do, it’s a sign of trust to him. He gets to watch you be giddy, he gets to spend time with you, he gets to make you feel good. If it was up to him, then he’d hug you every time afterwards.

If you don’t know already, then he’ll teach you how to fight. He’ll teach you how to beat someone bloody and how to get up with a broken nose. Although he may go easy on you at first, he won’t forever. He’s a top notch soldier, so there’s a good chance you won’t ever be able to beat him properly, but you’ll learn. You���ll be able to defend yourself and you’ll have a pretty nice outlet for your anger as well. If you’re okay with it, then he’ll involve Soap in your fighting sessions as well. It’s absolutely animalistic when he joins, so you really don’t need to worry about any sort of etiquette when he’s around. It’s just beating each other into submission and then patching each other up.

If you don’t already know, then he’ll teach you how to ride a motorcycle. For some reason, motorcycles are very masculine to him, so he thinks it would make you feel good as well. One day, you’ll be riding one together, with him being the one to hold onto you. He’s looking forward to that day.

On the days where the dysphoria hits harder than usual, he’ll remind you that you’re a man. You’re the most perfect man in his life, and he wouldn’t want to have it any other way. Holds you close and reminds you that you will become your most ideal self, it just takes time. Either way, he won’t leave you, he won’t think of you as less than a man just because you had to put in the work to get to where you are right now. You’re his most ideal man, and he would go through all the torture he’s gone through once more just to be with you. He’ll support you through your highs and your lows. You’re a man. A darn good one at that, because not anyone can go through what you’re going through and still be standing. He admires you greatly for your strength and will remind you of that fact as well.

#cod #cod x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #schizophrenia is a bitch because right now I can't form sentences anymore and I can't think either so sorry if it got bad towards the end #for some reason I think motorcycles are the most masculine thing out there. I wanna learn how to ride one so bad #once I realized I was a trans man I also got into sports. I watched the mo//togp yesterday and got really into it #my guy did not win but he got 3rd place! which made me happy! #but whoa that last lap was so thrilling to watch! I did not expect that twist but it was so good! #anyway Simon knows how to ride a motorcylce and would teach me because I said so #he's also very supportive #I've also been thinking of changing my online name #I'm not sure if I should use the name I use irl but I don't know what other name to use #Cerise sounds far too feminine even if it is a beautiful name #I've been considering Alex but that's kinda gender neutral #I wanna have a masc name so I'm probably gonna look for a new name pretty soon #maybe I can find one that rivals the euphoria I get from the name I use irl #anyway being transgender is cool. I know this because I have been trans ever since I was 15 <3 #I love my brothers and sisters and siblings! you're all so cool and I wish upon you some nice and good ice cream :-) #trans!reader #transmasc!reader #:D

[gale-in-space]

“Narcissists will butter you up and shower you with compliments in order to lure you in so they can abuse you!!!” No, we heavily compliment people because that’s the kind of stuff we wish people would do to us. I gush over people and try to be specific with my compliments because it's how I want people to treat me. I desperately want to be seen and to feel loved and appreciated the way I try to make others feel. Why is this so hard to understand

#npd #the thing in quotes is stuff paraphrased from actual articles i've read btw #but here's the thing. we’re not evil masterminds #we are people who were not sufficiently loved or supported growing up #and so we are trying to make up for it now #idk what good recovery looks like because instead of putting effort towards trying to research effective treatments for npd #people will just shun us and be like ‘here’s how to spot and avoid narcissists’ #so i guess the best thing we CAN do is try to be vocal about our needs #even if other people think it’s annoying or attention-seeking or what have you #edit: i do want to clarify. i don't know that a steady flow of compliments or praise is a good thing #i don't KNOW if that's the answer to the colloquial 'narc crash' #because as i said: no one is putting any effort towards figuring out how to actually treat npd #i feel like an end goal for treating someone with npd would be to help them learn to live with some discomfort #and to develop ways of being self-sustaining so that a multitude of compliments and praise aren't necessary all the time #but that seems impossible at times because. again. can't emphasize this enough. no one wants to research how to treat npd #we're just kind of left to fend for ourselves #we're like opportunistic omnivores in a way #filling up on what we can when we can because we don't know if we'll always have the opportunity to refuel again #even if it is detrimental in the long run #okay i'm done now fr lol