Recap prima seconda terza quarta quinta serata:
• mi sono persa la banda che suonava rip
• morandi voleva suonare pure lui sta lì con la chitarra, l'anno prossimo propongo il fanta ma per i presentatori, voglio godere del panico conseguente
• elodie decide di far svenire tutt* causa nosebleeds stile anime con quel vestito signorina miss elodie darling what are you wearing and can we have gay sex i mean have gay sex i mean expl
• qualuno grida a elodie di sposarlo dalla platea e honestly mood
• straguzzo? What are the young kids up to these days? Ama imperterrito acconsente
• colla zio meglio? colla zio bravi? colla zio carucci?
• il vestito di mara sattei è un si per me
• tananai in direttissima dal (suo?) matrimonio col completo il fiore e tutto
• ferragni in her little blue dress & gold breastplate era with gold catenaccio incluso... im confused, what's not clicking?
• giorgia casts santino di ama e finalmente tira fuori la voce e ci ricorda di essere giorgia (i just had a totally unrelated war flashback bad phrasing bad phrasing ffff). Also, she was wearing a cotta di maglia (to defend her spot in the classifica? The hordes of frothing fans? Stuff)
• coladimasplash fantastici come al solito la frase delle seychelles suona come l'assolo di javert dei les mis this is the hill im willing to die on today
• diretta ig cringe ft. ferragni con yet another body shaped dress (?)
• a gino paoli non frega di cantare he came for the tea and that's what he wants to spill all over the stage LET THE MAN TALK AMA
• raga che dire, rosa chemical came here to slay e ci è riuscito. Not female presenting pierced nipples di fuori per il fanta, la canzone è un bop, è vestito da cameriere fetish ma who cares, siamo tutti collectively esplosi visto che
• LIMONE LIMONE SIGNORA IL LIMONEEE rosa chemical fa una lap dance a fedez in platea poi lo limona in maniera molto french live e lo rapisce portandolo sul palco a ballare, nel mentre fedez sorride e annuisce e chiara boh conta i follower da dietro le quinte i guess. Da due a tre il passo è breve e rosa ha deciso che volere è potere good for him
• achille lauro ha strappato la federa del divano dal cadavere dei potroneesofà guys e l'ha indossata per cantare wow
• ah no sono qui. Non si scappa dai poltroneesofà. Loro ti troveranno. Sempre.
• cmq achille e rosa separati uno al suzuki e l'altro all'ariston per non far scomunicare tutta la città causa orgia in diretta i guess dati i precedenti
• ciuri ribattezza achille cristina d'avena e chi può dargli torto quest'anno. Ciuri uno di noi se ci stai leggendo we love you ciuri💖
• cugini di campagna che vogliono rompere la barriera del suono con gli acuti cute e vestiti arcobbbaleno i approve
• parte cringissima della ferragni che invoca il nome dei meme invano e cerca di far entrare ama nel giro mostrandogliene due tre cringissimi di cui uno dal profilo insta di fedez pls stop. Stendiamo un velo pietoso e perdoniamo chi non sa di cosa parla
•mr rain si esibisce (con meno bambini del solito mi dicono?? Idk non so contare, were they disappeared? Did the poteri forti (amadeus) remove hostile entities (bimbi milanisti)? Thats sus)
• in questa notte di sole furore furore diventa decisamente on point per i limoni serali odierni oh how the tables turn
• a una certa ama ha fatto una diretta e uno da dietro faceva i segnali di fumo nei suoi 3 secondi di fama i stan
• levante normale direi (?)
• ornella vanoni wanders on stage. It's her time to sing. Maybe. She finishes. Delira. Says la gara mi fa morire. Amadeus le dà un mazzo di carciofi. Lei li conta e dice che alla rai sono tirchi. E i carciofi a Milano fanno schifo. I understood none of *gestures* this
• LDA embraces the glitter nel pigiamino look.
• someone walks on stage i do not know her she speaks in napoletano ama speaks in napoletano i have no idea what just happened but that dress tho 👀👀👀 respectfully🙌🏻
• ah la ferragni da un'oretta ha una collana a forma di utero? Tipo? D'oro placcato obv
• chiara ha l'ennesimo momento cringe e regala ad anna moglie di gianni la sua sciarpetta bianca patentata da meme con su scritto pensati divorziata buon matrimonio or something
• Olly in rapprensentanza formale del gesticolare compulsivo made in italy uno di noi
• addetto alle telecamere dell'ariston che deve pulirle dalla bava la saliva il rossetto il covid dopo ogni esibizione causa fantasanremo you have my thoughts my prayers and my sword
• i 31 articolano la canzone noo oerché mi tirate i pomodori faceva ridere nella mia testaa
• uhmmmm... will... ha cantato... *eyes slowly closing*
• leo alla riscossa (?), alla fine la canzone è carina e lui si fa valere. MA I BUCHI DIETRO ALLA GIACCA SONO PER I DUE CUORI?? SONO SEMPRE STATI LÌ ANCHE SE È LA PRIMA VOLTA CHE LI VEDO?? doctor who confirmed
• I used the ouija board as a JOKE why is anna oxa standing in my living room help me (ft. @sasukesexbomb). Anyways anna is sempre più sulla strada per diventare una sciamana maga magò una delle parche addetta al pianto greco ai funerali a questo punto i dont even know anymore
• OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD L'ULTIMO L'ULTIMO THIS IS ENDING I CANT BELIEVE IT anyways caruccia la canzone di sethu dai
• c c c c c lassifica del ca
• my worst nightmare: sanremo che ricomincia daccapo all'una e mezza di notte- ah no solo i top 5 in classifica
• che btw sono ultimo tananai mengoni lazza e mr rain
• obv io sono imparziale MA [REDACTED] NO DAI SU NON SI PUÒ SENTIRE *viene assassinata nel sonno dalle fan*
• 😴😴😴
• i bimbi di mr rain stanno a nanna PERCHÉ NOI DOVREMMO STARE QUI A VEDERE SANREMO ANCORA??? EH???
• no ma serio ama con la lettera di zelensky alle ore 2:13 di sabato sera? Uhhh guarda che stiamo tutti dormendo o quasi. Try again in prima serata next time.
• band ucraina? Ok. Magari coi sottotitoli era più d'impatto eh. Per dire. Un suggerimento. Visto che era, sai, in ucraino.
• una gioia BEN DUE GIOIE per i coladimasplash daje ve le meritate
• ULTIMO QUARTOO
• *gasps* mengoni primoo wow so unexpected much surprise
• no vabbe scherzi apparte sono ok con la classifica
• gianni che scopa un'ultima volta sul palco pun fully intended daje
Thank god siamo alla fine. Alright gays guys it's been real it's been fun it's been real fun ora tutti a ninne e ci si vede all'esc e/o l'anno prossimo direttamente. Notte a tutti ✨✨✨
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[*Shuffles in*] It's not... what you expect. It's super tame. But it's to set things up, I swear. -CollarSlaDickAnon
-
Part 3
Going to meet with Bruce the next day was brutal. Dick spent all day fighting off his anxiety, his own anger, fighting with himself whether he was in the right. Slade didn't like it. For one, Dick was pacing endlessly. He refused to eat. And he took off the collar.
Sure, wearing the exact same customized collar as Nightwing probably isn't the smartest idea to keeping one's secret identity, but that was why Slade offered him simpler ones. Even discreet ones. But Dick turned them all down. Even the proposition of new gifts wasn't even hinting at a smile from him.
Slade knew how this was going to go. How it always goes. Bruce is going to scold him, Dick is going to argue his point, Bruce will shut him down no matter how valid it may be, and Dick is going to storm off. And when Dick storms off, Slade is left to clean up the mess. And it's never an easy clean up.
-
Dick slowly made his way down the stairs to the Batcave. Sure, he could take the elevator. Or even those old fireman poles he and Bruce keep up just for the occasional sentimental ride down. But he wanted to put this off as long as possible. The last thing he was expecting was to see Jason.
"Sure, now you take it off," he scoffs under his breath, idly swiveling in a chair.
"Do not start, you two," Bruce growled from around the corner. Dick saw something waiver on Jason's face.
"Good luck," he whispered, "he is pissed." As if that pit of dread couldn't get deeper in Dick's stomach. He slowly kept walking around the corner to find Bruce at the computer, going over surveillance footage that caught the whole incident last night.
"Deathstroke is to stay out of Gotham," Bruce started, not even looking at Dick.
"Hello to you too. I'm not his babysitter-"
"No, but he seems to be yours," Bruce challenged, finally looking at him. Jason was right, he was absolutely furious. It's one thing for Batman to be angry. But Bruce? "Nightwing is suspended from Gotham for the rest of the week-"
"What? What ever happened to getting my side of the story-"
"I can see your side of the story!" He yelled, throwing his hand at the screen.
"So, what? I get benched, and Jason gets nothing?"
"Red Hood has been suspended from solo missions, and both of you will sit in on the defusing lecture again."
"Can recite it by heart," Jason called out.
"Not happening," Dick glared, "I have a drug ring going rampant in Blüdhaven. I'm not risking a mission over some bullshit lec-"
"Then get Deathstroke to handle it. He seems to handle everything involving you as it is."
"He has his own jobs to handle. I can handle my own-"
"And you are to stay away from him," Bruce tacked on, standing to tower over him. Dick felt something dark twist in his gut. He knew when he was about to reach his breaking point, and this was it.
"Excuse me-"
"What do you think people with think of you? Nightwing going around, parading himself as an ally to Deathstroke? You'll have the entire city turned against you. All of Gotham turned against you."
"Is that a threat?"
"It's a fact, Dick. I spent years, decades gaining the trust if this city. And I will not have some perverted sex fantasy of yours ruin that-" Pure rage boiled up Dick's throat, and he had no desire to stop it.
"Of course! Of fucking course, that's what you think this is! Not the person who cares about me protecting me! Not about the fact that I'm actually happy for once! Because you can't get over the fact that I'm with Slade!"
"Deathstroke is a murderous assass-"
"His name is Slade!" Dick screamed. He had it. He had it with Bruce seeing his partners as nothing but some wild kink fling. He always saw them as that. He couldn't get over the fact that Dick grew up. He was practically thirty. Hell, he wasn't even that much younger than Bruce, compared to Tim or Damian.
"Slade is Deathstroke, they are one and the same!" Bruce tried to counter.
"Then why didn't you beat the shit out of Jason like you did Red Hood?" He watched Bruce flinch, fighting to regain traction in his argument.
"Red Hood-"
"Why didn't you just go ahead and reveal Jason's identity and throw him in Arkham, lock him away forever, like you do with every other criminal in Gotham? Oh, that's right, because they aren't one and the same to you. And Slade and Deathstroke are not one and the same!" Dick couldn't do this anymore. If he kept this up, he was going to start crying. He always was the crybaby of the family. "If you can't see him as any different, then don't bother contacting me for any more missions, because I won't answer," he bit before storming off, feeling his pulse pounding in his ears. Bruce didn't call out to him. If anything, it hurt even more that he didn't. But Dick wasn't oblivious to the second pair of feet following him up to the manor.
"That was a pretty ballsy move," Jason scoffed a laugh. "Throwing Red Hood into that?" Dick didn't feel like getting into it again. "You alright? ... Like, your arms and shit," he deflected, nudging Dick's heavily bruised arm with his elbow.
"'S fine."
"Your legs aren't. You know you can't hide a limp from any of us, right? I tried to not hit your knees or anything."
"It's fine, Jason," Dick emphasized. "Did you want something?" He asked, forcing his voice to ease down. Jason looked around a little.
"Alright, look. I'm not happy about... you and him. But I'm not... I trust your judgement. If you seem to think you're safe with him... I'll try to give the two of you the benefit of the doubt. And considering his history with the Titans, that is a very difficult thing to do! Er... whatever you do, don't let Raven catch wind of this. Ever." That got a small smile from Dick.
"Thanks," Dick nodded, keeping his eyes down. "I'm more surprised that you knew what the whole... kink etiquette thing was."
"I'm not twelve! Also, I used to work with Roman."
"Ah," Dick smirked, "right."
"But seriously, all that aside, just... be careful with all that shit. I don't want to have to come get you at two in the morning again as Red Hood because some fuckhead hurt you. And honestly, I can't fight off Slade."
Dick hated it when he brought up the asshole he trusted once. It was the first time Dick attempted anything relatively kinky, and it didn't end well. Jason got a surprise call from Dick, mid panic attack, sobbing uncontrollably. It took days till Jason managed to get Dick alright enough to head back to his own apartment. As horrible as it all was, it did bring them closer, trusting each other more as brothers. Sure, their fight last night led to some pretty nasty bruises, but neither of them blamed the other.
"Thanks, Little Wing," Dick smiled. "I'm gonna head out. I... really don't want to be here right now."
"Still got the codes to my place?"
"As long as you didn't change them again." Jason thought for a moment.
"No, no, I... I'll send you them again. I bumped up the taser power."
"Again?"
-
"Well," Slade said casually, glancing up from his book, "you seem in better shape than I expected." He pat his leg idly. Dick knew what that meant, coming over to curl up in his lap as Slade continued to read. "Your pulse is high."
"No shit," Dick mumbled.
"How'd it go?"
"Banned from Gotham till next week. Gotta... go to some stupid lecture he prerecorded back in the 90's... Jay... actually is okay with us."
"I doubt that," Slade smirked. "He's humoring you."
"Fine, let him. One less person treating me like shit."
"Stop that," Slade glared with his voice, not looking away from his book.
"What, telling the truth? Not a single person was there but Bruce and Jay. Everyone was supposed to be there today, Slade, and no one was around? They're avoiding me. Only Jason had the balls to look at me. Even Bruce wouldn't look at me! They all think I'm disgusting now," he bit. If it was one thing Dick hated, it was being ignored and avoided.
"That house is huge. You're upset. And you're making speculations without proper evidence. Enough." But something in Dick kept going. For once, he wanted to be heard.
"Could you just actually listen to me for five minutes instead of shutting me down?" He screamed, getting to his feet. Slade just lowered his book and raised his brow.
"When was I doing that?" He said simply. "You do this all the time. You have no reason to believe that-"
"Well maybe I want to be miserable! Bruce just kinkshamed me, basically called me a sexual pervert, and banned me from Gotham for a week; and without even hearing a single word from me! He belittled you, insulted you, and I'm supposed to just pretend like it didn't happen? He has done shit like this my whole fucking life!"
"And that is why you are here," Slade said with a hint of comfort, "in Blüdhaven, with me. Because you do not need him. Or Gotham. You built your own legacy without him. Stop letting your daddy issues control you."
"Oh, sorry I was abus-"
"I didn't say you weren't. I didn't say that you aren't justified. I'm saying stop letting him get to you like this. Because then he wins." Slade dropped the book and stood up, looming over Dick. But it wasn't intimidating like Bruce was. It was like a guard dog protecting their family, walking closely around him. "Every time you let him get to you, he wins. And because you're maladaptive reaction is to seek out praise, you'll crawl right back to him like some poor little slave. Again. And again. And again." Dick felt cool, soft leather gently wrap around his neck, the jingle of the buckle on the back of his neck almost grounding. Slade slide a finger between the collar and his neck to check the tightness, and to direct Dick to look up at him. "Stop thinking. Let me handle this," he purred.
Dick leaned up for a kiss, but Slade drew back. He took a blanket off the couch, wrapped his little bird in it, and settled him down on the couch.
"You're riled up enough. You need to eat," he scolded, trudging off to the kitchen. But Dick could tell from the way Slade walked that he was a bit stiff. Healing factors only go so far, and Slade had a rough week, putting his own self care off for Dick's sake.
But Dick knew better. Slade was going to stop at nothing till Dick was at least a little back to his old self. So he let himself be cheered up and tended to before playing his own cards.
"Ow," Dick winced as they cuddled on the couch, hissing as he adjusted.
"That bastard hit you hard."
"No, no, it's fine. I just gotta adjust." Slade sighed and lifted him up in a bridal carry, bringing him into the bedroom, slowly stripping him till he could see all the bruises Jason had hammered into him. Some of them were bad enough to be swollen.
"Maybe it's a good thing you were benched. You're not going out like this," he scolded, crossing his arms.
"Slade. They're bruises."
"And this?" Slade reached down and unwound the bloody bandages around his thigh, revealing a gash from the crowbar's claw. "And you thought this didn't need stitches?" Slade glared, walking off to the bathroom, coming back with the enormous tool box they used for a first aid kit.
It was no use. When Slade wanted to patch his little bird up, there was no stopping him. Slade was usually quick about it, but he took his time this time, careful of how hard he pulled. The wound was close to Dick's hip, so he wanted to be sure that he was being gentle enough.
"No lidocaine?" Dick asked, trying to not squirm.
"Fresh out from your little stunt on Tuesday. I'll steal some tonight."
"You're going out?" Dick looked up from his throne of pillows.
"Wintergreen found a good contract today. I have to leave tonight if I want to get to the target on time. But I can hit the drug store before I leave. Restock our kit."
"So the bruises weren't why you didn't want me to leave." Slade's hands paused for a moment.
"Don't take this the wrong way, little bird, but you don't take care of yourself after fights with him. And I'm not going to be here to scrape you off of the pavement because you did something stupid this time. And considering that you obviously cut off your little bat contact, you're without me, and you're without backup. You are staying here till I get back. So be a good little pillow princess, and do as your told."
Dick hated it when Slade called him that. But the fact that he was down right pouting against a mountain of pillows didn't help his case.
"Why? It's not like you treat me like one?" Dick challenged.
"Would you rather be a belligerent brat?" Slade growled, snipping the stitching thread, tossing the needle into a jar of sanitizing solution.
"According to everyone else, I am."
"Fine," Slade said with a lilt, going through a drawer. "Then you'll be treated like one." Quicker that Dick could react, Slade snapped a leash onto his collar, pulling him close to his face. "Stay."
Slade watched Dick swallow thickly, pushing him back against the bed. Dick had completely lost his words as Slade rewrapped his leg, leaving the room. He got up to follow, but found the leash had been attached to the metal headboard by a lock. He checked the clasp on the collar, unable to find any way to unhook it.
"Slade?"
"Yes?"
"Uh... you left me locked to the... the leash?"
"What about it?" He called back. Dick got up, finding the leash was long enough that he could peek his head out the room.
"Hello?"
"You can reach the bathroom from there," he said over his book again.
"... You're kidding me."
"You want to be a brat, you're going to be treated like one." Dick glared at him, bristling.
"A brat, not a bitch!"
"I see no difference." He got up and stood just out of Dick's reach. "And bratty bitches are to be kept on a leash. How else am I supposed to rest assured that you'll stay here?" He smirked when Dick realized what he meant. "You can sulk in your room all you want while I'm gone. That's what you wanted anyway, wasn't it? Throw the biggest pity party you want. Or would you rather a dog house?" Slade roughly grabbed his cheeks in his fingers.
"I need to eat, dumbass."
"Fine." Slade went back into the bedroom and unhooked the leash from him. "I will be gone for three or four days. Depends how long the target decides to play chicken."
"You mean how much you want to toy with him," Dick rolled his eyes, redressing himself. Slade came up behind him and ran a dangerous hand across his neck.
"Only for those who really peak my interest," he purred.
"Uh-huh, real enemies to lovers, we are," Dick scoffed a laugh. "Just don't fuck him, and I won't get jealous."
"Sweetheart, only you would be that unfathomably horny to fuck your target before killing them."
"Give 'em a good time before they die."
"And you call me sick and twisted," Slade laughed, going to pull out his old, prepacked military duffle bag for the trip. "The fridge is full, so you better eat. And for the love of god, little bird, don't actually stay in here the whole time," he scolded. "Just don't think about going out at night. Maybe see if that space chick who tried to fry me is in town."
"You mean Koriand'r? Come on, ten years and you still can't remember her name?"
"Unless you want me to call her McCormick, it's 'space chick.'" Dick couldn't help a laugh at that, getting one of the sweetest smiles from Slade. Slade undid the collar, and showed Dick the quick release on it before affixing it back on him. "If you're good, I'll bring something back for you, my little bird," Slade said, kissing his hand.
Me reading this, a moodboard:
OMG ANON I AM GOING INSANE!!!!! This has EVERYTHING I LOVE!!! DRAMA! BROTHERLY LOVE! DOMESTIC FLUFF! HURT/COMFORT! Anon, i beg you PLEASE post this to AO3, even anonymously so people can see this gem! 😭 thank you SO MUCH for sending this to me!
Also, I wanted to tell you: "tame" doesn't mean bad. And you, my friend, know how to write drama! I was really getting frustrated along with Dick when he fought Bruce, and this gave me the impression it wasn't the first time they had such a fight! You write Dick very well and make us feel with him! Again, a great thank you for such a beautiful treat on this Saturday night!
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