#(especially misogyny and homophobia)

[langernameohnebedeutung]

ngl, I'm beginning to take issue with how in conversations about anti-intellectualism almost automatically, the face of girls and women will be slapped on the problem.

#'all those tiktok girls who only like marvel films and' - why do you always say girls and women? are the guys filling opera halls instead? #'women in their mid 20s who still only read YA novels' okay sure that's an example and relevant discussions can be had #but it reminds me of the mocking tone in which people speak of 'chick-lit' to use women's interest as an indicator of lower value #while in fact women are reading more than men in EVERY single genre of fiction. Women are doing a lot of (often unpaid) labour #supporting libaries supporting theatres supporting cultural events #meanwhile there is a pretty big overlap between toxic masculinity and anti-intellectualism #(especially misogyny and homophobia) #especially when it comes to things like ballet or opera or musical or generally dance #in fact it is often the female investment in specific things that makes them less 'valuable' in general consciousness #for thousands of years the theatre was well-respected and a high form of art - and now it's a 'wife-thing' #the father who will teach his son that theatre and dance are for girls - how is that never an example for anti-intellectualism

[spitblaze]

Hey uh I don't feel like getting confrontational with internet randos and I'm...genuinely confused about what this is trying to say. This was on my post about how men and masculinity aren't inherently evil and a bunch of people were agreeing with it. Like I'm not about to sit here and say that white trans dudes have it just as bad as trans women, we don't, that's not what this is about and it's not a contest. That being said. Are they implying that we don't face our own unique form of societal backlash and oppression? It’s nice to be able to talk about the kinds of things we face with a word more specific than 'transphobia' but I get why people would think it's annoying. Is this more about inter-community stuff? Am I missing something here??

I'm very aware that I could just be being the exact White Trans Dude Being A Pussy they’re talking about but I just. Genuinely want to understand what's being said here lol

#spitblaze says things #i need to make it VERY clear. this isnt a contest. trans women have historically and presently gone through a lot worse #than trans men have. especially in thr states. they are the first target almost consistently. #to my knowledge transandrophobia was the word we were using to tlk about the *specific* ways that trans mwn are discriminated against #the awful cocktail of misogyny homophobia and toxic masculinity affects different populations different ways #and i dont think trans dudes are 'pussies' for pointing that out?? #but again. i feel like im missing something here. idk

[duckiemimi]

Fucking hate jjk twt because they already fetishising and feminising geto because of 1️⃣ outfit (and it’s not even Geto, it’s all Takaba imagination) like I don’t wanna be a kill joy but some people really lack the ability to separate their headcanon from canon…sorry to rant in your ask box, I am just tired of this happening every fucking day on twt

nah, you’re good, it makes me uncomfortable, too :’) and the way some people are running with it and conflating it to…something canon? which, considering the context of the scene…😭

#jjk #geto #asks #the art has been FEEDING ME #but some of the takes on the tl…what’s new anyway #for a fandom full of queer people there sure is a lot of internalized homophobia and misogyny here especially for an mlm ship :’) #jjk 242 #jjk leaks #jjk spoilers

[altschmerzes]

LEARNING THAT THE HOMOPHOBIA ABUSE-FETISHIZATION MISOGYNY TERRIBLE 'SPORTS FICTION' BOOKS ARE STILL BEING WRITTEN/PUT OUT???? PLEASE FREE ME

#I CANT DO THIS GANG I CAN'T DO MORE FROM THIS LADY #I CANT DO MY WHOLE DASH BECOMING OBSESSED W THIS GARBAGE AGAIN #I CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT #gav gab #NOOOOOO #SOMEONE PUT AN E N D TO THIS #i cannot comprehend how anyone can enjoy this shit it's straight up vile lmao #the homophobia is violently disgusting the misogyny is overpowering #the racism is bizarre the abuse and trauma fetishizing is beyond fucking insulting #etc etc #also theyre just. bad. they're just Bad. #this woman can't WRITE come on!!!!!! #in the words of the shrieking shack READ ANOTHER BOOK #the fact that this woman's dogshit series has such a rabid fandom makes me insane #you really can write the most poorly written #bigotry riddled nonsense alive #and as long as it stars Beautiful Broken Emaciated White Boys #Who Brood And Smoke And Have Trauma But Only In A Sexy Mysterious Way #especially if they kiss #tumblr will fall over itself to fawn at your feet #it's insane lmao #i may take this woman's success a little personally #given how often my work has been compared to hers but also it's just #it's disgustingly homophobic and misogynistic and everything else #plus it's just fucking Bad

[mermaidsirennikita]

what your thoughts on title cole's hades hangman series?

My immediate thoughts are that Tillie Cole is a racist who should be actually cancelled (not the weak shit we call cancellation), as in any possible publishing career, indie or otherwise, done. Nothing. I'm honestly worried about the pen name shit I imagine she'll pull or has pulled, because I dread people buying books by her without realizing it's her after all this.

But uh.... yeah. I have zero tolerance for Nazi romances, KKK romances, any romances featuring a racist, genocidal protagonist or protagonists. And I do want to be clear--genocide is what the KKK wants in the end. As is the case for most hate groups. They may say they want people "in their proper place" or "over there instead of here" (displacement being a part of genocide) which is all heinous and unacceptable. However, the reality of the nitty gritty is that they want them eradicated, or at least eradicated from the part of the earth the genocide mongerer feels entitled to, which is most of it. The only alternative, if you could call it that, being that the racist wants the "inferior" race enslaved or subjugated for their own gain (the implicit word usually being "again"). And I think that even the "smallest" breadcrumb of racism can easily tip into these mindsets with some degree of radicalization. So yes, zero tolerance.

I often have seen the "devil's advocate" arguments from "liberals" (white feminists who want to read these books) being "but how is this any worse than books where the heroine falls for her rapist".

And here's the thing--there are a couple books I've read wherein the heroine does fall for her rapist, and I like them still. I'll be clear--these are historical old schools (as in, the 80s) which I don't think came from the perspective of say, a contemporary Sam Mariano book. (I haven't read her books, but I know they can contain this content). I have yet to read a recently published contemporary wherein the heroine falls for her rapist that works for me. I have spoken to people for whom certain books have worked, including a couple survivors.

What I think sets these books apart is that a heroine in a dark romance falling for her rapist, however fucked up and unrealistic, is based on a personal relationship between two people. It isn't about anyone the reader represents, and I don't even really think it's often about gender (though it can be, which I think is probably a line--if a hero is a serial rapist because he hates women, I don't think the reception would be the same). And let's be real here--most of the time, this does reflect real life. The vast majority of sexual assaults are the result of intimate partner violence. It is something between two people, and while I would personally never suggest anyone forgive their rapist and reconcile with them, or frankly forgive them in general... That is something where it is about the one individual and her perspective, and in a romance it follows the same mentality. I may not LIKE that book, but I do see that as a book about harm to a PERSON and within a RELATIONSHIP, which is more individualized.

A KKK hero or a Nazi hero or what have you is often paired with a woman who represents a group he hates (though in Tillie's case, the heroine is a white-passing Latina, a "cartel princess", which lol, ALSO RACIST, but I suppose her complexion is meant to create ambiguity). If he isn't, she's the white woman he is allowed to be with anyway. Either way, he hates a collective. He is enacting violence, physical or otherwise, against a collective. Even if the heroine is of the group he hates, SHE cannot validate his redemption arc~ or "forgive" him. However unrealistic the forgiveness or validation of redemption a rapist "hero" may be, that is a situation where I can say "fucked up, but her choice". This is very literally not something a single heroine can give, and even if the author came from the same marginalized group as the heroine in a genocidal hero book... that author can't speak for the collective either. (I say this because I have heard of authors writing about sexual assault and reconciliation in books state that they're survivors, and I really can't speak on how they work through that on an individual level, but I do think it's important to again note the individual.)

While sexual violence is absolutely a worldwide epidemic, it is NOT the same thing as genocide. Doesn't mean it's better or worse... Though I will say, I think the fact that sexual violence is used as a tool by genocide mongerers does speak to the fact that genocide is obviously a more existential threat, here. And I don't really care for the comparisons I've seen made between the two in discussions of this book and its place in dark romance--because they often seem to be coming from my fellow white women, and I feel there is often a "we're all women, we're in this together" mindset. When the reality is... no. First off, women aren't the only targets of sexual violence, and men are not the only people who perpetuate it. Second of all, not all women experience rape culture in the same way. Cishet white women live under the threat of rape culture, absolutely. But white women don't experience racialized predation. Nobody is trying to "convert" cishet (or simply cis) women through sexual violence. Nobody is killing cis women because they feel "tricked" by us. And for that matter, white women, especially cishet white women, can be the oppressors of women of color, queer women, trans women, and so on. They can encourage sexual violence against women with a single vote--and have. How many white women voted for Mr. "Grab 'Em By the Pussy", again?

So yeah, I don't really like the whole "well this is fine for me to read because y'all read your rape books" discussion of these books when we get into discussion, because these just are very different topics. And I don't like conflating them to either EXCUSE the violence of these books, or once again devolve into a "dark romance readers are universally dirty little perverts". Because--while there are ABSOLUTELY dark romance books that go way too far, which I wouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole... I think there's a point where a book isn't even dark romance, it's just using that as a mask to perpetuate a form of like... artistic violence against an entire group of people.

Because these genocidal hero books are about violence against the collective marginalized group being dismissed, "redeemed" or "forgiven", there's this inherent dismissal of what has happened to potential readers of these books, and I see that as a kind of casual violence. That dismissal happens every day, and it is ESPECIALLY happening right now, when so many western nations (and I'm not denying it's happening elsewhere, I'm just much more aware of the USA, Canada, and Europe) are in the midst of nationalistic far right swings. And hell, let's be real, most people of color are not reading Tillie's books on purpose, I imagine--but frankly, that doesn't matter. Tillie has, I suppose, a legal right to write these books. But I don't view them as any different from the vitriol spewed from a Westboro Baptist Church representative, or the people calling BLM protestors looters.

You just can't slide this shit into a "dark romance is gonna dark" slot, or "why do dark romance readers keep bringing this to us" whine rant. I will bet you anything that a lot of the readers who read this book and rated it a 4 or 5 on GR haven't read a single other dark romance novel in their fucking lives. They enjoyed it because they want to romanticize a guy in the KKK and act like he can be redeemed, because their sick little fantasies about their white prince proud boys are what they're looking for here. This isn't about tiptoeing to the ver edge of dark romance, this is about wanting to bathe in a racist fantasy. It's their Birth of a Nation moment, but with porn.

I mean, what has been really frustrating to me... because obviously outright racists will shamelessly defend Tillie, outright... is just this idea that this somehow has come back to a discussion of dark romance, when really, it should be a discussion of RACIST ROMANCE NOVELS. Which is something that extends faaaaaar beyond dark romance, or any subgenre. I've read a fuckton of racist contemporary romances. Obviously historicals have quite a long journey with racism in books. I've read racism in paranormals, for fuck's sake. I believe one of the big Nazi romances was an inspirational romance. To me, there's just been this dancing around admitting that this is a romance-wide issue, because people want to go "well, it's only an issue with dark romance, MYYYYY favorite romances would never" and it's like. I don't know, girl. People of color are widely underrepresented in the genre (as are queer people and trans people) so maaaaybe just maaaaybe romance isn't your perfect haven where all we need to confront is men being misogynistic. Maybe, just maaaaybe, there are other issues going on here.

#romance novel blogging #anyway i have a lot of thoughts but idk #i just have really felt especially grossed out by how white romance readers (and i am one!) #seem to suggest that like... the racism in the genre is JUST LIKE misogyny in the genre #which does imo link to the fact that most romance readers are white women #and it suggests a centering of the critiques of white women #we'll go all in on our concerns but go silent when people of color critique racism in popular books #and tbh critiques of homophobia and transphobia also get a similar reaction but go off #it speaks to how the genre still struggles with being a genre w the 'for [white] women by [white] women' ideology #i also just struggle with equating rape culture to genocide...

[aroacehanzawa]

not but for real i think we lost the plot when any discussion of the very real reality of misogyny will inevitably have some freak going umm actually that's terf rhetoric. like is that in any way a constructive way to have a discussion

#i see this a lot especially in discussions about sex-based violence #as if it's somehow transphobic to acknowledge that people worldwide are oppressed and victimised simply for being born female? #like i promise you the violent misogynists do not care about your pronouns or whether they are actually misgendering you or not #they just hate everyone they perceive as women #you have to acknowledge the real reality of misogyny to even have productive discussion on homophobia or transphobia because a lot of it #boils down to trans man -> 'woman denying her nature' or trans woman -> woman more acceptable to hate #or gay man -> too womanlike or lesbian -> woman again denying her true nature #you see what i mean #anyway i don't mean to start discourse i was just reminded of this from the prev reblog

[fatmaclover]

I NEED more scenes with dennis being stupid and mac being smarter than him. "shes... getting the money, though, right?" qnd mac looks at him like the idiot he is.

i NEED mac taking control more. "we need to get a gun!" and speaking with insane charisma about it

i NEED mac just. being happy. i miss him being happy. i miss when he wasnt just insulted nonstop every day

i NEED more of charlie being smart i miss when charlie wasnt just stupid stupid stupid. mannnn

#not that the shows bad im sitll in love with it #i love the later seasons they have such a nice feel to them #but the early seasons also. are. so so important to me #especially for mac and charlie #and dennis. dennis was able to be stupid and not just in the misogyny and homophobia way

[yin-yanglulu]

I never understand why certain people see criticism of their favourite things meaning that they can’t enjoy that media anymore, why the fuck should that stop you from liking something?!

For example: I’m a huge Skylanders fan, I own all six of the games, I still have multiple Skylanders to this day, it’s easily one of my favourite game franchises of all time, Skylanders: Giants is my favourite game of all time, I’ve been a fan of it for half of my life, did Caddicarus’ somewhat negative review of the first and sixth games stop me from liking Skylanders? No, because that is entirely his opinion and that is FINE because he was actually critiquing stuff that’s actually understandable and it wasn’t just shitting on fans for liking it like most Skylanders haters were back in 2013, The only type of Skylanders criticism I truly hate are just the ones from some TLOS/OG Spyro fans that hated on it bc Spyro looked different, bc it was apparently “wasn’t Spyro enough” despite people pointing out it had a lot more in common with the PS1 Spyro games than salty Spyro fans were making it out to be, and hating on kids that played Skylanders just because they were having fun.

Another infamous criticism of Skylanders is that it “ruined Spyro” and “doomed the Spyro franchise for good”, which have definitely been proven wrong given that Spyro is still a popular franchise because of the remastered trilogy and that without Skylanders, a lot of people my age wouldn’t know who Spyro is! (Also the fact that a Spyro 4 is supposedly happening soon)

Some criticisms of Skylanders I get, like the “asking you to buy too many things”, “SSA hasn’t really aged well mainly in the graphics and gameplay categories”, and “characters like Double Trouble and Voodood are based off of racist stereotypes” criticisms because most of them are right, but there is a difference between those criticisms and the ones of Spyro fans that I think are permanently stuck in 2012.

So yeah, if you see someone critiquing your favourite media, don’t let that destroy your enjoyment of it!

Edit: JUST TO CLARIFY THIS POST ISN’T PRO HP!

#skylanders #lulu.txt #yes I’m basically targeting this at those assholes in fandoms #that will tear down any criticism of it #and try spreading this positivity bs #that end up spreading more toxicity than the critics would #especially in fandom where the media they love has a lot of problematic shit in it #just for daring to point out that their favourite media has problematic elements #and they’ll call you names #I’m looking at you..toxic positivity assholes! #I better not see any R///BY fans using this post as proof that people aren’t allowed to critique the show’s ableist and racist writing #bc THAT IS NOT THE POINT OF THIS POST! #the point is to call fandoms like that out for taking any understandable criticism and turn it into #something entirely different like misogyny #when they are the ones who are causing all the misogyny and homophobia in the fandom #THIS IS NOT A PRO HP POST BTW!

[mcl38]

I feel the exact same way when I see people use “girly pop” or “babygirl” or the 💅 emoji when what the really are insinuating is f*g. I see it wayyyy to often on other social media sites. Especially about Lando. Yes sometimes it’s meant lovingly, or endearingly, but more often then not it’s used in a mean way.

and even if its used lovingly it most likely carries an undertone of condescension. idk i had a very illuminating conversation two days ago w these two very straight guys id watched quali with, who said they didn't realise the limp wrist meme / the word 'zesty' / babygirl and girlypop were derogatory gay stereotypes, they thought it was 'how girls talk' or imitating women rather than imitating feminine gay men. and i find it soooo funny that when cultural artefacts that are meant to b subversive in the gay community spill over into straight culture, the cishets rly do just turn it back into good ol' gender stereotypes. thats why lando's whole astrology bit for HIM is a casually misogynistic imitation of astrology girls (complete with the pitched up voice), but to tiktok it ended up reading as 'fruity' or 'zesty' or whatever other stupid fucking euphemistic adjective they use to skirt imaginary censors that don't actually exist.

and its funny bc lando is actually so straight-man-ish from his obsession w the world's most boring rich boy sport to his bragging abt sexual exploits on stream to the bluntness / refusal to couch his words & soften the blow in interviews that in women generally doesn't survive past teenhood. but bc hes generally slender and baby-faced (even with that atrocious chandler-bing-in-alternate-reality-episodes goatee) ppl will still code him as feminine on social media / tiktok / fanart / fics especially. idk as someone who like among other things has drawn lando as a girl or in dresses i also personally have a bit of a complicated relationship with the idea of a feminine lando, but it definitely isnt helped by the thoughtlessness with which people in fandom spaces, and also on the internet in general, and also in real life treat these new incognito homophobia cultural trends

#i genuinely think its a pattern that like. theres been sooo many jokes and memes lately that rely on subtext homophobia #and watching quadrant is weird bc thats some of the only straight ppl i expose myself to #and in the past year the homophobia has been ramped up exponentially by them all including lando #the jokes about being 'sus' and about two male members of quadrant being romantic with each other #especially for some reason max and ethan for no clear reason - maybe cos theyre the poshest and therefore softest of the bunch? idk #the gay chicken jokes in the new workout video etc #like back in the first niran one him and lando were doing the typical homophobic bloke thing of not wanting to look at each ofhers asses #while now everybody was leaning into the joke of hahaha ur perving on us ur secretly gay and a predator #and its not just them! sus and fruity and zesty and twink and 💅 and the limp wrist spongebob pic etc #its been ramping up in a weird and unsettling way #idk. idk how to feel abt it all #especially bc its vague and pervasive enough that its suspended in a state between homophobia and misogyny #just seemingly shitting on femininity as a concept. idk #lando #anon #ask #meta #justsayfag

[hamartia-grander]

Haven't seen anyone talk ab how relating to a character that people hate kinda hurts. Like "it's not that deep" or whatever but when I identify so many traits that I share with a hated character it actually does hurt especially if it's a character my friends hate

#Obviously there are situations that require different contexts #And obviously there are characters that are hated for what I know are bullshit reasons (misogyny/homophobia/ableism/fans' apathy/etc) #But still hurts especially if I can't find a reason why said character is hated or why their traits that I share are hated #Makes me think people actually hate things about me they just don't say #I also have ocd so the thought spirals are bad I know it's not my friends' faults but yeah just wanted to say #fandom #fandom posting #Blorbo #I often attach myself to these characters too either unknowingly or purposefully #I think a big reason it was so easy for me to empathise with North is bc I relate to so much of her esp. her anger and aggression #And Mia Winters because I more than understand her trauma responses and relate to her fears #But like also I don't need to relate to those women to know they're perfect and did nothing wrong. The fans are just misogynistic

[screamingay]

ok so is there actually a crazy sjw mra misandrist truther cult or have i just been seeing a lot of questionable strawman arguments on here lately abt feminism and how we need to remember Real Feminism because we're "reinventing the patriarchy" by like.. idk being nicer to people??

gender roles are like the oldest and most complex and nuanced topic in existence especially since the internet began and it feels to me like everyones opinions are wildly swinging from one extreme to another rn and while it's nice to discuss and exchange ideas and all that... at the end of the day it's still just about how u treat the people around u.

do u drive away anyone with any connection to masculinity? do u intentionally exclude them from public events and spaces? do u see trans women as a different species? do u see gnc and/or trans men as threats to the community? like, even subconsciously??

ive been trying to think on this for a few days and this still isnt exactly what im trying to say but every post i see isn't saying what im thinking so here we are

#like idk.. ive dealt with misogyny my whole life being raised as a girl but anyone raised as a boy who acted too 'feminine' also #experienced misogyny. like. almost all homophobia is rooted in Men Being Too Feminine #and like. men who consciously use the system to abuse women are still a result of the system itself. it's cyclical we know that already #but sometimes it seems like ppl forget what that means. breaking the cycle takes more than just idk trying to oppress men back #or whatever tf the rdfems are going for #breaking the cycle means raising children ESPECIALLY boys differently so that theyre aware of the system and can avoid taking advantage #that kinda thing. yknow?? #if this gets too many notes im deleting it i just wanted 2 make it clear

[queersouthasian]

"BLs have mediocre female characters"

I can name like 10 well written female characters in different BLs but not one mediocre male character in a GL

#due to some reason people #consider homophobia #especially biased homophobia #to be less than misogyny #and it's pretty normalised to #antagonise a male character #in a sapphic show #so much so #people defend that shit by adding 'straight' #in front of 'men' #idk how to tell y'all #in a MLM show #women not getting #or straight men not getting screentime #makes a LOT of sense #just like y'all don't have the focus on men in a #sapphic show right? #I don't understand #BLs have given us great female #characters over the recent years #like #will it never be enough #or is it not enough 'cause it's a BL #only friends #my dear gangster oppa the series #last twilight the series #playboy the series #kinnporche the series #love in the air the series #bad buddy

[elytrafemme]

the amount of discourse that could be resolved if people had the capacity to be aware of two truths at once... every time i see people on this website talk about the misandry/misogyny within the queer community i lose like five thousand brain cells. how can people be so so so correct about the existence of one of those things and then completely fucking pretend the other thing doesn’t exist. what am i doing here that other people cannot seem to conceive of our critical thinking skills cannot have declined this far. are you fucking with me be honest.

#nightmare.personal #don't reblog bc i am being HOSTILE about this but #the. head in hands. do you all seriously fucking believe that queer women dominate the LGBTQ+ community #even in the face of there being RAMPANT misogyny and hostility ESPECIALLY TOWARDS LESBIANS in very subtle AND SOMETIMES OVERT #WAYS. are you REALLY going to act like sapphic women are just sitting up here having the time of their lives and FURTHER #are you going to act like GAY MEN are entirely FREE from the experience of homophobia #when there is SO MUCH HOMOPHOBIA WITHIN THE QUEER COMMUNITY. TOWARDS GAY MEN. #and that is something ESPECIALLY apparent within modern queer culture through so many microaggressions #HOW are people so fucking INCAPABLE of recognizing BOTH OF THESE ISSUES #EVEN PEOPLE THAT ARE LIKE. MY MUTUALS! MY FOLLOWERS! HALF OF THE QUEER ACCOUNTS ON THIS WEBSITE! #there is misogyny in this community and there is misandry in this community and it's almost like this is an issue that has started #with the patriarchy and trickled down. Crazy how that works!

[emofrog69]

religious trauma is real it quite literally gave me OCD lmfao

#fake lefties on twitter saying racist shit like ‘u cant have religious trauma unless ur family got murdered in the middle east’ #HUH?????????????? #see like its good that mental health language is being used more often but not like this… #where people fundamentally misunderstand it and misuse it #trauma doesnt have to be something like that i thought we knew this as a collective #theyre saying ‘oh boo hoo u were forced to go to church for 18 yrs thats not a real issue’ #umm. yes it is? #especially when you look at the stats of #abuse and rape in churches??? #not to mention the blatant racism misogyny homophobia??? #to hear from BIRTH that you are BAD and WRONG for simply EXISTING. saying that to a CHILD - is abhorrent. #and that if youre a woman for example that you are LESS THAN. #that DOES SOMETHING to a child. #not even just a child but im going off of what they said

[hneycmb]

I cannot believe the sheer amount of people on here who want to have in-depth conversations abt oppression but know nothing about misogyny and pretty much refuse to learn lol. If you try and build your understanding of oppression while ignoring misogyny you'll have a huge blind spot and fundamentally miss why some things are the way they are rn.

#you cannot especially discuss homophobia w/o including misogyny because so much of homophobia is entangled w misogyny at its roots! #understanding misogyny is INTEGRAL to intersectionality!!!! #talking #misogyny #feminism

[gendiebrainrotreceipts]

What's purpose to draw such attention to identity? Why should ppl care?

Because of the homophobia and misogyny present in so much of gender identity ideology, as I already said

#‘why should people care’ idk about you but I think we should fight against misogyny and homophobia where we can #especially in the places people are refusing to see it