#you can eat sweets

[stiffyck]

What if people started saying "I need to exercise more" or "I need to eat a bit healthier" instead of "I need to lose weight"

You can be healthy and fat

#and also #you dont need to be healthy all the time #some people will never be healthy #stop trying to be overly healthy if its at the cost of your happiness and mental health #you can eat junk food every once in a while and you dont need to feel bad about it #you can eat sweets #you can lie in bed all day if you need to just chill out and get some proper rest #you dont need to constantly be healthy and at the top of your game #stiff talk #delete later #maybe idk #this will probably stay up who knows #man it just hurts me when someone whos healthy and who looks good says “i need to lose weight” #like yea okay if thats what you wanna do go for it #but i think youre fine as you are #idk man im just rambling

[deadmomjokes]

PSA: tomatoes are not spicy. Tomatoes and tomato products should not be spicy. Pizza sauce isn't inherently spicy. Tomato-based pasta sauce is not spicy. Ketchup is NOT spicy.

If tomatoes are spicy, you have an allergy to tomatoes.

This announcement brought to you by my almost 29-year-old husband learning for the first time in his 2.8 decades of putting food products into his mouth that spaghetti and saucy pizza aren't spicy foods

#his amazement at our daughter eating spaghetti willingly #when apparently he's been suffering in silence over there his whole life #and i'm like ???? #and he's like ''you didn't make this spicy?'' #NO #NO I DID NOT #and he just blue screens for a minute #and i'm like YOU THINK SPAGHETTI IS SPICY??? #and he's all ''yeah that's why i prefer we don't have it very often'' #the absolute SHOCK i tell you #turns out he hates ketchup because it's spicy and he never understood why people wanted to dip fries in spicy sauce #i was like ''DUDE ketchup is supposed to be sweet and maybe a touch tangy but also cool and refreshing'' #and he's like ''SWEET?????'' #so uh yeah turns out dude's allergic to tomatoes and he just assumed everyone had a way higher spice tolerance than him #cuz he can find ''non spicy'' food too hot #and it's just all tomato based stuff and we never thought to connect the dots #mild salsa? too spicy. IT'S THE TOMATOES. #tacos? too spicy even at baby heat levels. IT'S THE TOMATOES. #prefers alfredo to marinara despite alfredo having objectively more pepper in it than marinara #he thought his spice tolerance was just so wimpy that my 'normal' was too spicy for him #so he's just been dealing with 1-3 meals a week being spicy to him our entire marriage WITHOUT SAYING A WORD #because he didn't want to offend me with his wimpy palate #IT'S THE TOMATOES #it's always been the gosh darn tomatoes

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

One of Us is Guilty; Chapter 3

Three are now dead, but the killer seems to be caught ... but this night is not over until the room is found.

Characters; Vil Schoenheit, Rook Hunt, Azul Ashengrotto, Jade Leech, Silver, Cater Diamond

Content; Unreliable narrators, murder mystery

Content Warning; Death, murder, blood, anxiety, kidnapping, overall dead dove content warnings

Word Count; 1.1 K

Find this content triggering but still want to participate? Link to the Google Form to vote!

As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Epilogue (Part 1) | Epilogue (Final)

The body count had risen to three; Dire Crowley, the Ramshackle Prefect (whose blood still stained the floor, the iron scent permeating the air), and now, Divus Crewel as well, the latest victim. One minute the professor was alive, shaking from anger that one of his students was killed on his watch and that he was the prime suspect of the killings. But now he was sprawled out on the ground, killed in an instant.

The remaining students — Vil, Rook, Azul, Jade, Silver, and Cater — were silent, processing what exactly had just happened. The lights had flickered only for a minute, and in that minute, the killer had struck. But the silence was broken by a deafening clap of thunder, lightning illuminating the windows, and bringing everyone back to the present, to their laughably horrible situation that they had found themselves in by sheer chance and bad luck and timing.

Silver sat down on the staircase, and put his head in between his legs, taking deep breaths. Despite his training, he did not consider that he would be witnessing death so soon. The small part of his brain that had a sliver of hope that his friend had survived their gruesome injury, but he was just lying to himself; no one could survive that.

Vil was pacing, hands clasped behind his back, and he was muttering to himself. He thought he could read people, what with being raised amongst the stars that hid behind too-sweet smiles that belied venomous words. What was there to gain from any of this?

Rook was cracking his knuckles, and then rubbing his eyes, trying to think of why this was happening. While he could appreciate the hunt, this was something entirely different. Yet, it also reminded him of several books; one being a murder mystery, and the other about the deadliest game, of hunting a fellow person.

Azul was shaking and biting his nails, his resolve long gone. Had he made himself the enemy of one of his peers? Was he going to be next? He was supposed to just be perfecting a potion recipe for the next test, yet he found himself way above his head.

Jade looked at Azul, taking in that his house warden and friend was shaking more than the leaves outside in the howling wind. He too was disturbed by the night's events, sick to his stomach even, but he couldn’t show weakness, especially if he wanted to see it through.

And Cater? He was paler than a ghost, a cold sweat glistening on his forehead, and he felt like his heart was going to leap out of his throat. His cheery smile had left long ago, and now panic was fully starting to take control. Why? Why? Whywhywhy? WHY?! Yet he stayed silent.

No one spoke, but they eyed each other with caution. Every time that they had went to the mirror and they voted through it, someone died. Was it the mirror? No… no, that didn’t make sense… None of this made any sense though. 

“No more votin-” Silver whispered.

Cater cracked his head around, green eyes judging every move the underclassman made. “And why’s that, Silver?” His voice was shaky, but Cater wasn’t trusting him or anyone for that matter. “Afraid that-”

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Vil barked, commanding everyone’s attention, eyes all on him. But he was used to eyes being on him, and he stayed cool, despite how this may damn him into being guilty in their eyes. He didn’t care at the moment though, all he cared about was no one else dying. “Look at what being suspicious of each other has brought us,” his eyes wandered to the dark clotted blood that had now gone cold. He swallowed the bile that had risen in his throat, keeping the calm mask up. “I agree with Silver though; voting through the mirror only ends up with someone… dead.”

“Then how do we proceed, Roi du Poison?” Rook asked, falling to his house warden’s side. His eyes looked over everyone, picking up their behaviours, emotions, and any tells.

Azul’s head snapped up. “The potion-” he started muttering to himself, before clearing his throat and gaining his composure again. “A truth potion, but one that shows the truth about the situation, we can use that to find the killer.”

Cater looked at Silver, and offered him his hand; a peace offering. Silver took it, and brought himself up on wobbly knees. A truce.

Jade placed his hand on Azul’s shoulder, offering him a bit of comfort that not everyone was out to get him. “Was that what you were working on?”

Azul nodded, and he started making his way towards the alchemy lab, where hopefully they could put an end to the killer’s little charade once and for all.

…

…

Vil helped Azul make the potion, and both students kept a keen eye on the other, but they made it without incident. And to show the others that they hadn’t tampered with it at all, they took it first, with the others shortly following suit.

“What about the room?” Silver asked.

“We can figure that out once we find the killer,” Jade countered.

Everyone looked at each other, taking in any minute details, but everyone was calm; the potion apparently did wonders to calm the nerves… but that in itself was a dangerous effect, since now everyone’s guards were down, making them easy targets.

Vil took in a breath and released it. “Who killed Dire Crowley? Why did you then kill the Prefect, and then Professor Crewel?” 

But no one spoke up.

“It isn’t me,” Vil said confidently, hoping that his speaking up prompted the others to follow suit.

Cater was to his left, and he spoke next. “I didn’t do it.”

Then Silver, “Or me… I couldn’t do something like this…”

“I did not do it either,” Jade offered.

Azul’s eyes went wide, and he eyed the next person in line. “The killer isn’t me.”

All eyes fell on the last person left in their little circle; Rook. With all of them but him left, that only left him.

He let out a throaty, quiet, chuckle. “I suppose this game has run its course,” he tipped his hat to them, green eyes glinting dangerously in the dim light. “As for why? Hmmm,” he hummed, and the hairs on everyone’s necks stood on end. There was something off about Rook, this wasn’t Rook. 

“You’ll find that out when you guess the room.”

What?

Everyone took a step closer to each other, away from Rook, and they whispered amongst each other, voting on what room Crowley’s murder took place in.

“Alchemy lab,” Cater spoke for the group, trying to keep his resolve as Rook seemed to stare into the very contents of his soul, like he was searching for something.

Rook stepped forward, still smiling. “Ah, désolé Monsieur Magicam,” the whites of his eyes started turning black, “but you would be wrong.” The lights flickered again, and in the seconds of darkness, Rook was gone, and so was Cater.

GOOGLE FORM (voting will end Wednesday, October 18th at 9pm EST)

SUSPECTS:

- Silver; the kindhearted knight with a mysterious past, is it just for show?  (Plum) - Vil Schoenheit; the actor who is always pigeonholed into the role of a villain (Scarlet) - Divus Crewel; the alchemy teacher with a penchant for fashion, Crowley’s co-worker (Peacock) DECEASED - Rook Hunt; the enigmatic hunter who always has a hunch of what’s happening (Mustard) MURDERER - Azul Ashengrotto; the owner of The Mostro Lounge, a businessman with dubious morals (Green) - Reader; the ‘house-keeper’, a role that was imposed on them by the late Headmage (White) DECEASED - Jade Leech; a student enamored by fungi and seems to have a foreboding presence about him (Orchid) - Cater Diamond; the preppy beau of Heartslabyul, but his smile seems forced (Peach) MISSING

ROOMS:

- Main hall (eliminated in Chapter 2) - Teachers’ lounge - Cafeteria - Kitchens - Lecture theatre - Botanical garden - Alchemy lab (eliminated in Chapter 3) - Library - Crowley’s office (eliminated in Chapter 1)

WEAPON: MAGIC (found in Chapter 2)

…

To be continued

#dove does events #twst #twisted wonderland #twst murder mystery #vil schoenheit #rook hunt #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #twst silver #cater diamond #cw death #cw murder #cw blood #cw kidnapping #dead dove do not eat #oh you though it was going to be over once you found the killer? *evil laugh* oh my sweet readers no no it isn't #aka i remember the deadliest game plus i just watched the exorcist so yeah I'm tying those in #now if you don't mind me i'm going to cram those lessons in twst since i have 25 left until i can continue with the event

[mazeyphaedra]

intrepid heroes the smokeshows that you are

#wanted 2 call them hotties but that felt juvenile. alt caption: thank god my emotional support millenials clean up well #might not be the best pics of them but! you do what you fucking can with the 90-sec next ep previews!!! #their outfits have been eating ep after ep it's so incredible to see #ESP SIOBHAN'S. siobhan one chance. lou emily ALLY ONE CHANCE #SIOBHAN'S EARRINGS and glasses and nails. emily's hoops MURPH'S TATTOOS #hair and makeup dept i am blowing you a sweet sweet kiss for lou's hairstyle #d20 #dimension 20 #intrepid heroes #siobhan thompson #lou wilson #zac oyama #ally beardsley #emily axford #brian murphy #cropped for the close up #if i overdid it with the alt text. youre welcome #got ally’s in one take theyll always be iconic #uh oh!

[czaneavecg]

uhhh... hi?

Macaque and wukong ft. Sweet potatoes and Tripitaka

1st attmpt

2nd attmpt

maybe 3rd time's a charm?

uhhh... yeah that does not work

BONUS LMAO

tripitaka was not impressed

Spared!Macaque AU: @ask-thesparedau ___

Okay question: Is it okay for me to tag you or like you want me to @/ask-thesparedau <--- do this instead?

#jttw #apparently you can eat these things raw #those are sweet popatoes btw #kamote = sweet potatoes #i forgot to change it #I dont know what colour to choose #so why not both #macaque #jttw macaque #jttw monkey king #sun wukong #six eared macaque #jttw tripitaka #jttw fanart #ig??? idk #cz_fanart #my_art #this is me coping #yes yes #My dearest apologies #i've gotten used to the whole UT thing #tagging the au creator n stuff #jttw wukong #journey to the west #jttw tang sanzang

[black-and-yellow]

Ingenue

Reel it in.

(NB even though this reads right to left, the pages are ordered so that they will be in order when scrolled through on full screen)

#ending's a little anticlimactic but here it is #I've spent a long time on this bad boy #been thinking about them more recently #their dynamic is under-explored #congrats to School Briefs on being like the only media that gives them interactions with each other #maybe Vigilantes too idk I still haven't finished it #hate drawing Yamada's hair down like this i am not very good at it #I need . segments. that's the only way i can mentally process hair #bnha #hizashi yamada #present mic #mha #villain!mic #loudspeaker au #nemuri kayama #midmic #micnight #sorta. if you wish it to be #enjoy. eat up. #now give me those sweet sweet notes

[iambecomeyourvillain]

the world is so simple. hozier releases new music and look everyone's experiencing a spiritual awakening

#hozier #eat your young #through me (the flood) #all things end #SIR HOW CAN YOU DO TJIS TO ME A DAY BEFORE MY POL SCIENCE EXAM #too sweet

[crabsnpersimmons]

Crab crab, here I am to say again how adorable and pretty your art is at the point I want to BITE IT

[and keep your Chibis safe because I want to bite them so much /affectionate]

awwww thank you, Niko!!

yknow what, i kinda get it. the chibis give off a "fruit candy made with real fruit" kind of vibe to me haha

and don't worry, they have their caretaker Y/N* watching over them:

Y/N: please don't bite the kids.

Sun and Moon signs: (your dentist will be disappointed.)

Y/N: i mean yeah?? but also?? don't bite kids?? period??

*Y/N is an ex-Fazbear technician! they built Sun and Moon's chibi bodies to fulfill a promise to an old friend

#ask the crab #I was gonna post this earlier but then i was distracted by boops and classes #thoughts i didn't expect to occupy most of my time today #what flavour would the dca chibis be? #Sun gives me a soda vibe? like ramune candy that pops in your mouth #or maybe lemon? something bright and fresh! #Moon really gives me tropical vibes so maybe mango and coconut? #something creamy and sweet #OR OR #Sun can be pineapple and Moon is coconut #and when you eat them together you get a child-friendly piña colada flavour haha #actually now that i think about #i also get popcorn vibes from them too #maybe it's the way i colour their raincoats in stripes #crab art #traditional art #Rain or Shine AU #Sun Rain or Shine AU #Moon Rain or Shine AU #Y/N Rain or Shine AU

[mattodore]

messing with hair strands again…

#river dipping #ts4 #ts4 edit #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #haven’t touched hair strands since may when i first started editing i think… or april? whenever i posted that first bitey edit #but hmmm... i think they look really nice here? this was just meant to be me messing around in photoshop but. #well it's such a sweet screenshot i ended up doing a full edit but like can you blame me.......... i'm eating them #but i finished writing my reply to that ask i got right before i got sick </3 so i just need to pick a screenshot out now and edit it a bit #you might be thinking..... river there's one right here?? #and true.................................... i did just do this one...... but i kinda wanted to use one w/ theo's face visible too #..........so i'm off to the photoshop mines again #see you in five hours kfjgjhdjnfh

[candythemew]

#Hollyberry cookie #pitaya dragon cookie #Hollytaya #sketch #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #hehe :3 #I love these old people i can be fluffy as a treat #I don't think Pitaya would know what a kiss is before somebody taught them #Face eating smh they probably thought you had to bite your wife's face. #theres a lot of sparring but a lot of sweetness there i think #holly my beloved

[abbeyofcyn]

Hello! I hope you're having a good day!

So many people in my life seem to be going through something right now, and I just wanted to give you an opportunity to share anything you might be going through. Good or bad, as specific or as vague as you're comfortable with. Or feel free to ignore if you'd rather not. No pressure at all!

I hope things are going well for you! But if not, I'll be sending prayers your way if you're comfortable with that!

*me glancing at the vent art comic I've been working on*

#ask abbey #let me just blame the moon #it's affecting us all it seems #if anyone reading this is going through a bad time know you're not alone #and we can get through this #even sweet strangers like anon care #💜 stay hydrated #eat some fruit and veggies you love #hug someone you love #a pet #or a plushie or pillow #and make sure to get some rest and relaxation #and with that said I'm off to bed!

[aseuki]

Celebrating Meta Knight's bday in the most fitting way possible which is collaborating with @humming-fly in the worst (best) bake off possible to make silly little mk themed cupped cakes (Nailed It)

#you can really tell the ones in the back were made first #and ended in the front when we started getting tired adsjgdgfj #kirby #meta knight #I want to say they're delicious but tbh I ate so many sprinkles during their creation that frankly the idea of eating More Sugar #makes me feel a bit sick #so we'll see tomorrow!! #(<-loves sweet things but has the worst stamina alive for them)(can only handle like 2 milligrams before they perish)

[canisalbus]

While the trick-or-treating comic was very cute, I cannot imagine Vasco not being a little treat kinda guy

Are you telling me he doesn't randomly buy himself candy just for the dopamine and the child-like joy? That he doesn't indulge on halloween spirit and buy spooky candy just for him and Machete?? (who barely eats it but halloween spirit comes first, practically second)

.

#I actually thought about that for quite a while before choosing to go with a simple and neutral soda can #because yes I do think Vasco is a little treat kinda guy #but the treats he goes for probably aren't straight up candy #he's into hot chocolate and sweet coffee drinks #ice cream (particularly odd and seasonal flavors) #pastries and desserts probably #I can see him being a nutella enjoyer #and if he buys actual sweets I think he'd go for chocolate bars #(not like mars bars but thin flat sheets of chocolate that you break into smaller pieces) #(do those have a specific name in english or are they both just chocolate bars?) #none of the above are very easy to share unexpectedly with unfamiliar children #like I said in majority of Europe halloween isn't widely/officially celebrated and trick-or-treating isn't customary #families with young children teens and young adults might do halloween activities on smaller scale #but a childless couple in their thirties (and living in an apartment) is unlikely to have halloween candy in reserve methinks #Machete doesn't eat that many sugary things regularly #if Vasco is having something he probably goes along with it #but his health anxiety kind of affects what foods he deems acceptable and which ones should be avoided #which is ironic because modern Machete has a history of stress smoking #as a habit that's quite a bit worse for you than having an occasional ice cream sundae #I think he managed to quit when their relationship turned serious #answered #anonymous #modern au

[emry-stars-art]

hi i just wanna say... FAT ANDREW!!! FAT ANDREW!!!!!!!! FAT ANDREW!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💞💘💓💝💗💝💖💗💝💓💘💓💘💗💗💓💞💗

I thoroughly appreciate your rep if my lurking in your art tag didn't show that yet 🥹

THANK YOU FOR LURKING AND FOR THE ASK I’ve been going off messing around with body types for the girls… and for everyone really, I just love drawing humans so much ✨ YEAH FAT STOCKY ANDREW

He’s doing his cool down stretches bc Kevin won’t let them leave until everyone’s done

#someone once tagged an Andrew I drew with like #YES he eats lots of sweets YES he could bench press all of us YES he goes fast as FUCK #and it’s one of my favorite tags ever #YEAH HE’S STRONG AND QUICK! #in complete honestly I halfway make Andrew a foot-shorter version of my very good friend from high school and college #*honesty #god I have Andrew weightlifting on my list of ‘to draw’ rn #imagine… #folds and bumps and just fat in general can be so pleasing to draw #tummy is the softest thing about him maybe #anyway #fan art #my art #aftg #all for the game #andrew minyard #I should draw like different interpretations of the twins #bc in my head Aaron and Andrew don’t have the same body type like. not even close enough to really confuse them #but in canon they pass for each other all the time and you know what? I like a good stocky Aaron too

[martyrbat]

dc holiday special (2017)

*puts on my scholar glasses* is the cookie tiny or are his hands gigantic?

#tiny cookie is tragic but funny but big hands can go from hot to dangerous if you ask to get fingered. #god forbid a misunderstanding in being fisted.... (his strap is still in the mail but hes eager to service top while waiting) #one of my favorite miscellaneous details of clark is he has a strong sweet tooth #like he loves cookies and doughnuts. he has chocolates on his desk. in action comics 434 his downfall was literally eating a mystery box #of chocolates and in the next issue he buys girl scout chocolates while depressed and thinking he has to exile himself #its not a very jarring or overdone theme (thank god) but its so funny when you notice it #same with lois just fucking loving a hot dog in two separate comics #anyways. big man or tiny cookie? #also link is to a post where i transcribed the entire little comic btw.... it's a cute one ...... #c: dc holiday special (2017) #crypt's panels #clark kent

[runraerun]

there’s just something so juicy about those early seasons 2008-2010 Destiel fics where everyone is still writing Cas as this creepy, cunty, alien weirdo who has this psychosexual obsession with Dean. Like his whole personality is just intensely observing the righteous man as if he’s a really really really interesting bug that for some inexplicable reason gets his vessels’ pee pee hard

#I could quite literally spread it over a piece a toast and eat it up #like I love all cas’ #this is a cas positive space #I’m just showing my appreciation for creepy alien weirdo cas who wants to lick Dean’s face and sniff his boxers or whatever #like I write Cas as sweet and neurodivergent and deeply caring towards Dean in the most unselfish sort of way #but DAMN I love reading creepy early seasons cas #inject it directly into my veins #I just found a really good one and I hnnng #bless the fanfic writers who still write cas like this honestly #I like all walks of life cas but that one stirs something in me #I just love it #like him turning and being like what do you dream of 🤖🤖🤖 #LIKE CHEEZUS #you should show me some respect version of cas #SHIVERS #SO CREEPY AND YET #PEE PEE HARD #can’t explain it #I pulled you out of hell I can throw you back in #AND THEN AGAIN I LOVE LATER SEASONS CAS #I love I’m your huckleberry cas #dadstiel #castiel #cas #deancas #destiel #supernatural #spn #Dean Winchester