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jq37 · 5 months

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Seeing you describe your opinion on Wish (the movie itself) as "def do have oh boy" just has me curious now. What is it?

OK, so I let this sit in my inbox for a while because I planned to see Wish and I figured that it would be more fair to wait until I had a full picture of what the movie was before I started talking about it and...yeahhhhhhh having seen it my opinion has not changed. It's just intensified.

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW (lol, this got past 7k words)

And, fair warning, it's pretty critical so if you don't want to read something critical about this movie then this is your exit.

tl;dr: I think the movie Wish fails at basically everything it sets out to do and it's an absolutely awful 100th Anniversary movie for Disney.

When I say it fails at everything, I mean EVERYTHING*. I'm going to break this into sections for organizational purposes.

*The one thing I'll give it a slight pass on is the art style which I don't love but also wasn't like make or break for me. I would have preferred true 2D or a better implementation of the blended 2D/3D style, but if the movie was otherwise of the quality of something like Spiderverse or Puss in Boots, the animation wouldn't have bothered me. Like, I watched S1 of The Dragon Prince with no problem. I can forgive janky animation--and it wasn't even super janky. Just odd. What I can't forgive is literally everything else about the movie.

Characters

How is this movie so full of characters and yet devoid of characters that matter? There are a million characters in this movie and basically only two of them matter: The King and Asha. But neither of them are compelling in any meaningful way.

There's a lot of to do about the last batch of Disney protags being very same-y in a quirky, all fluff and no substance way and I don't really buy into that. I don't think that Raps, Anna, Moana, and Mirabel are palate swapped carbon copies of each other. They have unique backgrounds and struggles and motivations. I feel like they're all quirky, sure. But they all also have an identity BEYOND being quirky.

I do NOT get that with Asha. I don't feel like I have a good idea of what makes her tick at all. Like, she's kind. She wants her grandpa to get his wish. She wants to be the King's apprentice so she can help people. The queen (we'll get to her) exposits to us that she cares about people. But being kind isn't in itself an entire personality. The way Mulan is kind (defying the law to spare her father the ravages of war in his old age) isn't the same way as the way Cinderella is kind (making clothes for her mouse friends and protecting them from the cat). Asha just has a generalized want to help people, which is an admirable trait, but doesn't give us much to latch onto. It's so telling to me that in a movie called "Wish" our main character's wish is just, "To have more than just this" And yes, Disney princesses wanting "more" is literally their whole thing, but it's always more specific than that. Mirabel wants to prove herself to her family. Rapunzel wants to experience life beyond her tower. Even Snow White--the Disney princess with the flimsiest story--wants to find her true love. That's a concrete motivation! Asha doesn't feel real to me as a character. It feels like the thing that drives her is that the plot needs to happen and that's it.

The other important character in the movie is King Magnifico who was supposed to be a return to form for Disney in introducing another classic villain but he just fails at that so hard. The idea that he could stand toe to toe with any of the OGs like Lady Tremaine or Scar or even the latest villains like Dr. Facillier or Mother Gothel is laughable. He just doesn't have any gravitas. And his characterization is so odd. You can tell that they were trying to give him a "reasonable man doing unreasonable things for a good reason” backstory (both because of some images in the film and some stuff in interviews I read) but then they just...don't actually give the backstory? Like, they imply that the backstory exists but I don't remember them going into it at all. Which like, he doesn't NEED a tragic backstory. He can just be doing what he's doing because he's evil. Ursula didn't need a reason to want to rule the seas. She's just a boss bitch and she wants power. I don't need to dissect that any further. BUT if you tell me there’s a reason your villain is doing something, I need to see that reason. I don't understand why they would include that in the movie, just to do nothing with it.

Beyond that, he's written in such a weird way. Like, despite the "maybe he has a point" angle they seem to want to go with, he's very obviously a self-absorbed ruler--like he'll say things like, "Yeah, I am super handsome" to his wife--which immediately dumps him into the camp villain category. But he's doing the controlling things he does in the movie of his own accord to get people to stick to the status quo he set up. Fine. That's a fine thing for a camp villain to be doing. But then, at a certain point in the movie, he just uses a forbidden magic evil book (which he has for some reason) that just fills him with evil, green magic and makes him 100% unhinged all of a sudden. And that's just...boring? Like, anything interesting you might have been able to do before that point about power and control and how sometimes you make a wrong choice with good intentions is just gone at that point. It sucks because there were a lot of right answers here. You could just make him evil because he's evil. That works. You could have him be seriously convinced that what he's doing is right and be willing to do whatever he needs to do to keep things that way. That works. You could say that he started out trying to be morally upright and then slid into enjoying the praise and control just a bit too much--and I think maybe that's what they were going for. But it does not come across that way. He just seems like a dick to the point where you're kinda questioning how he's pulling any of this off. Asha asks him one question and he flies off the handle. How does everyone not know he's an asshole if it takes so little to fluster him?

So I don't like our main hero or villain. But there are still SO MANY CHARACTERS in this movie.

You've got Asha's SEVEN FRIENDS. Yes, SEVEN. they're based off of the seven dwarves, which is cute enough but do you know what happens when you give the hero seven sidekick characters? None of them get developed at all and you have to treat them like a unit. Only two of them matter at all--Dahlia (her best friend and the one who actually does more than just make dumb jokes or, worse, nothing at all) and Simon (the one who betrays them--more on that later). There is no story reason for them to have shoved in this many sidekicks. Especially since she also has…

Her animal sidekick, Valentino. Who is a very cute goat until he gets sprinkled with stardust and boom. He can talk. Which immediately made me like him less. Flounder he aint. The whole joke with him is that he's a baby goat with a rich, deep, baritone voice. That's it. Almost every joke he makes is either about that or his butt. Boo.

Then, there's the Queen--Queen Amaya--who is such a NOTHING character. There's no effort made to build up her relationship with the king so that her flipping on him later has an emotional impact. I have no idea what she cares about or desires. When she shows up, she's basically acting like the king's secretary, which is weird. I don't think that's what a queen does. There's a moment during a later song when she joins the "revolution" and it just has zero impact because again, it's like, I don't know who you are in any significant way! She seems nice, and I would love to live somewhere ruled by someone boring and benign, but that makes for an awful movie character.

I almost wrote "lastly, there's the star" because I totally forgot about Asha's mom and grandpa. They're in this movie too but even though Asha's whole motivation at the start of the movie is getting her grandpa's wish granted, we never get a good idea of what their relationship is. They have like, one quick scene at the top which tells us nothing, then they're in a crowd scene later, then Asha has dinner with them later the same day and that's it. And, again, we get nothing significant. Compared to something like Mulan where you have a good idea of what Mulan's relationship is with every member of her family by the time the military order comes in or Encanto where between the musical number at the top and the first group scene, you get an entire picture, this is really weak. Again, so weak that I completely forgot that they were even in this movie.

And NOW lastly, there's the star. Who is like, cute enough but he really makes me annoyed because I've seen the original concepts and they would have been so much more interesting! That's the case for the queen too, so I'll talk about both of them together here.

I am sorry to inform you if you didn't already know but the queen was originally supposed to be evil too.

She was supposed to be a part of an evil power couple with Magnifico and how dope would that have been? We've never gotten that from Disney before. Imagine! Disney Villain Song Duet! A Hot couples costume for next Halloween! An actual relationship that's developed in this movie! But nope. They unflavor-blasted her into the paper thin, placeholder of a character we have in the movie.

And the Star went through a couple of concepts. One, was the spirit of her dead grandpa, taking a younger form, which isn't my fave one but it at least would give her a relationship with this person who is supposedly an important person in her life, something we don't have in the movie right now. My favorite alternate concept is that originally, the Star was supposed to be her celestial love interest. And listen, anyone who's followed me for long enough knows that I am a big advocate for platonic relationships and FRONTING platonic relationships. I don't think that a story needs a romantic relationship to be compelling and I think forcing one in almost always makes it worse. But there is NO central relationship in this movie to carry it. Asha has too many friends for any one of them to make a serious impact so it's not a friendship story. Her mom and grandpa are nothing characters, so it's not a family story. She interacts with the star a lot, but that's basically just her talking to herself because the start doesn’t talk. So nothing is really there to latch onto. If they'd decided to go with the romance angle, it would have forced them to focus on at least ONE relationship and it would have been a nice way to throwback to classic Disney movies from the past. Much better than just sticking her with SEVEN WHOLE USELESS FRIENDS. Literally, all they provide is backup vocals in the fight song. Special Dishonorable Mention to Gabo. Man I hate that dude.

So, to recap this section, Asha's personality is only sketched out in the loosest possible way, King Magnifico is entirely half-baked, and there are so many side characters that no one can form meaningful relationships with each other. And it's really a shame because (1) they very easily could have pared down the cast and (2) very recently Disney put out Encanto which handles a large cast beautifully. There are a ton of Madrigals but I can tell you what the deal of each and every one is. This could have been done well and they fumbled so hard.

Concept

OK, so next up is the general plot and concept. This story takes place in the city of Rosas which is ruled by King Magnifco. It is supposedly a paradise, but much like a YA dystopian novel, it has a twist: When you turn 18, Magnifico takes your wish away from you and puts in in his wish room with the promise that it might be granted at one of the monthly wish granting ceremonies. Once your wish is taken from you, you are "unburdened" and you're "free" from having to pursue it. You don't even remember what it was.

There's a kernel of something interesting there. A ruler making his subjects docile, placid zombies that won't challenge him by taking away their ambition? That's interesting. People willingly giving away a part of their heart to dull the pain of trying and failing? Interesting. Someone doing this with no ill intent, but rather genuinely thinking that this half-existence is better than the heartbreak of the alternative? Interesting!

But the actual implementation of this idea? Ughhhhhh.

So first off, just logistically, Magnifico grants one wish a month more or less (Asha says once a month and in his villain song, he said he granted 14 wishes "last year"). So like, realistically, most of these people have to know their wishes will never be granted, right? Because of like...how math works? Asha acts like it's a big shock when she learns that most wishes won't be granted but like girl...math.

Secondly, there are two moments that are meant to imply that having your wish taken away turns you into a shell of yourself. Asha's friend (who betrays her) Simon is said to be all sleepy and more boring since he turned 18 and had his wish taken. And then, later in the movie, we see two new residents have their wishes taken, and they look a little disturbed after it happens. But, here's the thing. NO ONE ELSE IN THE MOVIE ACTS LIKE THAT. Asha's mom and grandpa act like normal people. So do all the other characters. It’s not consistent enough to establish that this is what’s on the line. Does taking your wish away make you a robot or not?

And does everyone just have one wish? I know I could fill a full sheet of paper, front and back, with things that matter very dearly to me. If you took away my wish to write for TV someday, that would still leave my wishes to travel the world and get a comic book adaptation of one of my novels and a whole lot of other things! Does taking your main wish away make you lose your ability to form new wishes? Logistically, how does any of this work? And you can't just say, "It's a metaphor. Don't think too hard about it," because there's a scene where the citizens start asking these questions. Like, "What happens if we have a new wish than from when we initially made it?" As if having unnamed side characters ask the questions first will alleviate the need to answer them. It's not lamp shading at that point. You're just being lazy.

Also, this is more a me thinking about the implications too hard than an actual plot problem but if he's taking the wishes at 18 I feel like a lot of peoples' greatest desire at that stage in their life is, "I want a romantic partner." And if the central conceit of this premise is that once your wish is taken, you stop wanting to pursue it then the city of Rosas is gonna have a population Collapse problem very soon.

The characters--especially Asha--get so emotional about wishes. It's like they're giving a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic speech every time they talk about it (except MLP has MUCH better writing). It's bizarre to see Asha's mom get her wish back and be like, "Oh my wish. My precious wish!" when she doesn't act any differently than a normal person before or after she has it back (Sidenote: She says this and she's holding the wish ball but we never see what that wish is and that's maddening. Why do I know what the dream of every patron in the Snuggly Duckling is, but they didn't show that? Ridic.) It almost is like, being in contact with a wish ball is a quasi-religious experience that drives the characters’ actions (Asha and the King are both totally enraptured while singing together in the Wish Room), but because we, the audience, are very much not in contact with the wish balls, we're not getting ANY of that.

Anyway, to recap this section: the central premise of how wishes work and how taking them affects people is not treated consistently or explained well, which makes the stakes feel very undefined and sloppy.

Pacing

This has to be its own section, because it's the thing that baffled me most when I watched this movie. So, here's the setup. Asha is going to interview for the internship with the king. She wants to help people and she has the secondary motive of wanting to try and get her 100-year-old grandpa's wish granted because he's not getting any younger.

Here is the entire sequence: Asha is led into the interview by Queen Amaya. Asha is awkward but makes a good enough first impression that Magnifico is moved to show her the wish room (for some reason). They sing a duet about the wishes where they’re both dazzled by the Wish balls. During the song, Asha finds her Grandpa's wish and after the song, she asks him to grant it. He looks at the wish and says while she has good intentions, it's too dangerous to grant--as are most wishes. She asks why not give them back then and he immediately flies off the handle and starts ranting about how HE decides which wishes get granted and what everyone deserves!

Their first meeting and him showing his true colors happens in the SAME SCENE. It's like 7-10 minutes and they just RUSH through all of that. And it's like, why? Did they really need to get to that dumbass star song (we'll get to that) faster?

I know that he isn't a twist villain so we don't need to keep the fact that he’s the bad guy under wraps. And, the way the story is structured, she needs to learn what he's doing before she can rebel against him. But it's not gonna be a big, impactful moment if you're rushing from beat to beat like this is an essay that's due in twenty minutes and you started five minutes ago.

And it really makes you wonder, if Asha can blow the whole lid off this conspiracy within ten minutes of meeting this guy, why is this not happening more often? Between how obviously smarmy the King is, how paltry the wish granting system is, and how easily Asha was able to start asking questions and get him to blow his top (something that happens again later when the citizens start asking question–it literally drives him into his villain song) I don't believe that this wouldn't have happened earlier (Sidenote: Finding out that it HAD happened earlier and that Asha is the latest in a line of failed apprentices who questioned him? More interesting premise).

So to recap: I have no idea why this movie is paced like this but it's not doing it any favors.

Humor

Humor is very subjective so you can take this with a huge grain of salt but I think this is a deeply unfunny movie.

The jokes fall into about three main categories:

(1) Quirky Humor: This is like Asha babbling and tripping over her words. The scene in the trailer where she's like, "Is my face drooping?" is a good example. It's not really a joke but it's clearly an attempt at humor that I don't think meets the mark. It's also in the songs with, for instance, the animals or the King saying slang that doesn't match how they talk or you'd expect them to talk at all and it just feels deeply incongruent, not funny.

(2) Referential Humor: This is probably what bothered me the most because it was just so so very eye-roll inducing. And listen, I love a good reference. Enchanted is my favorite movie of all time. I don’t begrudge them for putting a few references in their 100th Anniversary movie. But ugh. There is a scene after the king's gone crazy where he's destroying wish bubbles for power and he's like, looking at the wishes and making a quip before he crushes them. And for the second one he goes, "Oh you want a nanny for your kids? Definitely POPPING this one!" And he might as well have looked at the camera and said, "Get it? Get it?" and it took 6 months off my lifespan. (Sidenote: He he does a direct ref with the first two wish bubbles--Peter Pan and Mary Poppins–and then he just makes a general ref to the concept of true love with the last one and it's like, come on at least rule of threes this if you're gonna do it. Commit to your awful bit!)

(3) Kiddie Humor: This is where things get especially subjective because maybe a little kid would find this stuff really funny and they are a part of the target audience so that's valid. But it doesn't add much substance to the movie. This is like the goat being like, "I found a secret passage with my butt" or leading a chicken choir or singing the line, "So that's where all the balls of gas come from" while sticking his butt in the air--a lot of these have to do with the goat and his butt now that I think about it.

I think I only laughed at one thing in the movie that was meant to be at least partially funny--when the Queen interrupts the fight song and everyone is like "Oh shit, we're busted!" before she starts singing along.

So to recap: Sometimes a movie has a weak story but it's super funny and that makes up for it. This is not one of those movies.

Music

This is the one thing I already knew before I watched this movie: The music in this movie is bad.

Like, fullstop, no qualifications bad. Not bad for a Disney movie. Not bad for this story. Just bad.

I was a little confused by the choice to pick a pop artist instead of someone who specializes in musical theater style music for this project, but a more pop-y musical doesn't automatically mean a worse musical. Sure, maybe it's a weird choice to pay homage to the past 100 years of Disney movies, but it could be good. I love Six the Musical.

But that's the problem. The songs aren't just unfitting. They're not just un-Disney. They're fully BAD. They feel so half-baked and God, I've never been so assaulted by slant rhymes in my life. Like, this bothers me to the point where I have to go through the entire tracklist. I can't just make a blanket statement, I have to show you what I mean:

1) Welcome to Rosas: This whole song sounds like someone listened to “Where you Are” from Moana (the "consider the coconut" song), “Belle” from Beauty and the Beast, and “The Family Madrigal” from Encanto and was like, "I could do that". And then they couldn't. It's not really catchy and it's pretty repetitive. Super forgettable.

Worst Line: Honestly, this song is too boring to have a worst line.

2) At All Costs: This is the duet that Asha and Magnifico sing. Before I saw the movie, I thought it was going to be Asha singing about a wish and Magnifico singing to his wife to set up the eventual rift between them but that was before I realized that this movie doesn't believe in relationship building. Some of the movie's worst musical sins are on display here. Turns of phrases that seem like they were written by AI and bizarre syntax.

Like what does, "You pull me in, like some kind of wind" mean? That's not what wind does. Why would anyone ever say, "Felt this? No, I haven't" instead of "I haven't felt this?" That's so awkward.

Worst Line: "Leave you here, I don't wanna. I wanna [promise as one does]." My feelings about this line could be a whole other essay, but I've been writing this for 2 hours already so I have to move on.

3) This Wish: This is the big "I Want" song and it fails on several levels. It fails in comparison to all the songs it’s standing in the shadow of--like the last “I Want” song we got is, I believe, “Waiting on a Miracle” and man! How can you not feel for Mirabel after watching her go through everything she goes through at the start of the movie and it getting topped with her being excluded from the family portrait? You see all the build up (including the implied build up from before the movie started) and you see why it's all bubbled up to the point where she has no choice but to sing about it! With Asha, there isn't a whole lifetime of angst that's bubbling up to make her sing this song. Everything that's happened to her has happened over the hour of like eight hours tops. She meets the king, finds out about the king, realizes the whole system is bad, and then gets into an argument with her family who's drunk the Kool-Aid and doesn't wanna hear what she has to say (which makes no impact on us because we have no idea what their relationship is). That's it. It doesn't feel like the movie has earned the song.

And then with “Waiting for a Miracle” the music itself is plaintive and soaring. Like, I just paused writing to listen to it and I couldn't help but sing along and pour a little of my actual IRL "I Want" energy into it. It's a song that feels very real. “This Wish” isn't any of that. And it's not the actresses' fault! She's pouring her whole heart into it and she consistently does all movie. But the song is just, bland. Like I said, "I want to have more than this" is too weak a hook to hang your whole song on–especially when it’s the song that’s supposed to be the thesis of your whole movie.

Worst Line: "So I look up at the stars to guide me/And throw caution to every warning sign." That's not a thing people say and also it doesn't mean anything. If anything, it sounds like she's saying that she's being extra cautious at the warning signs! You can't just throw words together haphazardly and expect them to retain their meaning!

4) I'm a Star: This is, imo, the worst song on the whole track. A friend of mine described it as sounding like a song from a preschool science show and that's exactly it, but there's more to it than that.

First of all, a big part of the reason this song exists is to set up the fact that humans are made of stardust because that's a plot point in the climax. But there didn't need to be a song about that. That would be like if Frozen 2 had a song about how water has memory. But like, OK. If the song was a bop, it wouldn't matter that it was superfluous. Haus of Holbein in Six does NOT need to be there, but I enjoy it! I do NOT enjoy this song however.

This is something I alluded to earlier, but this soundtrack in general and this song specifically sounds like it's trying to do LMM's schtick but poorly. And I know some people don't like his whole style of music (I personally like it) but love him or hate him, his style without his skill? Awful. The presentation of fun facts in the middle of a fun song makes me think of his "Look it Up" in “Shiny” or "That's true" in “A Winter's Ball”. And there's a part where a turtle (we'll get to the talking animals) sings "See we're all just little nebulae in a nursery/From supernovas now we've grown into our history/We're taking whys right out of mystery, closure/Now we're taking in all the star exposure" And it really sounds like someone doing their best to emulate Lin's flow in things like Mirabel's aside to Mariano in “The Family Madrigal” or any number of songs I could name from Hamilton. But it just falls so flat here. It sounds so preschool and cheesy. And not preschool in a fun way. Backyardigans would never.

Also, this song is sung by a bunch of talking animals (the Star gives them the ability to talk) and I find them so obnoxious. They say stuff like, "Did we just blow your mind?" with the "boom" sound effect and I hate it. Maybe kids will like them, I dunno. I refuse to get into it further.

Worst Line: This song completely misuses the word allegory, which I hate, and it rhymes it with "excitatory" which I hate more (and I am saying this as someone who has made peace with the fact that Schwartz rhymes "nasty" with "flabbergasty" in Disenchanted) but there is only one line in this song that can be considered the true worst line because it's my least favorite line in the whole movie. A dumbass, stoner-sounding deer named Bambi (boo) sings, "Ooh, I'm a star! Watch out world, here I are"

They rhyme the word star--not a hard word to rhyme at all--with HERE I ARE.

I firmly believe someone should go to jail for that.

5) This is The Thanks I Get?!: This is the much anticipated and extremely disappointing villain song. There's just no gravitas and it's not clever enough to be very fun. It's just kinda bopping along which is eh, kind of fun at best, but like everything else in this movie, doesn't leave an impact. A musical number doesn't have to be obviously sinister like “Be Prepared” or, the holy (unholy?) grail, “Hellfire”, to be impactful. “Mother Knows Best” is bright and filled with false cheer but it still works because we can see the manipulation that Gothel is doing and she spins Raps around in mental circles to keep her docile. This is just an egotistical rant--and not even in a fun, Gaston kind of way! (Sidenote: Gaston is a good example of a villain who is preening and pompous and kind fo campy, but who you see why he’s beloved AND he can be menacing when the scene calls for it).

Also, it's so full of weird slang that Magnifico doesn't use at any other point in the movie. "Peep the name", "Ungrateful much", "Mmm, are you sure you're not the prob?" It's like he suddenly got possessed by Urban Dictionary. It's bizarre.

It also comes weirdly late in the movie, which isn't a complaint, just an observation.

Worst Line: I think "peep the name" is my least fave but, because I already said that, the opening lines of this song are, "I can't help it if mirrors love my face. It's genetics! Yeah, I got these genes from outer space" and that's such a weird thing to say. I got these genes from outer space? He wasn't even there for the star song so what the hell does he mean by that?

6) Knowing What I Know Now: I feel like this is the song that had the most potential. But for all its build, it never builds to anything. It starts and ends so abruptly (which is the case for multiple songs on this list). We don't really get to know any of the characters well except for Asha so them joining the revolution has no impact. The Queen turning on Magnifico really doesn't have much impact.

(There's a line in this song where a character sings, "I was sweet but now I'm something else" which is so funny because we literally know nothing about her except that she surprises people when she's in a room which, lmao, me too. Fully forgot you were in this movie, girl).

Worst Line: "The good in him, I've watched it melt". There's technically nothing wrong with this line but I hate it because melting with regard to emotion is never, "Oh, his goodness is melting". It just hits the ear so wrong. You can watch the good in him disappear or fade or vanish. Not melt. Hearts melt.

There's also a reprise and a credits song but I have talked about the music for too long as is so to sum up, there is not a single song on this list that I will ever purposefully listen to for enjoyment ever again and there are a few lines that I feel calls for someone being forced to go to whatever the musical version of the Hague is to explain themselves.

MISC

This is just a section for things that annoyed me that didn't fit anywhere else.

There's a moment where Asha sees Star which is a star that has fallen to earth and is shaped like a star and she's not able to put together than he's a star until she looks up at a ball of yarn that's tangled in the trees and sees that the yarn is shaped like a star...which again, Star is ALSO shaped like a star! Baffling.

Gabo at one point makes a comment to the effect of, "Wishing on a Star? Grow up Asha, this isn't a fairy tale." And it's like, dude shut up. Your king is a sorcerer. This movie isn't funny enough to pull off that kind of wink to the audience.

The actual funniest part of the movie is when a talking mouse (not a thing that usually exists in this world) runs onto the Queen's shoulder during a big speech in front of a crowd and not only does no one notice, but she has no stronger reaction than if a messenger was telling her that her dinner was ready. And not in an underreaction for the purposes of a joke way. Like, in a they forgot to write in a reaction for her way. It's so unintentionally hilarious.

They specifically set this in the real world–off the coast of the Iberan Peninsula–but I didn’t get any of that influence in any significant way here. It could have been any generic island town. Rosas sounds like a Spanish name and “Welcome to Rosas” there is some dancing that looks like traditional Spanish dancing. But on a whole, it feels pretty bland. When I think about studying abroad in Spain, one of the big things I think about are all the moments with food–patatas con bravas, pan con tomatae, paella, and so so much coffee. The only food I remember from this movie are the novelty cookies Dahlia is always baking. Which is wild to me because their last big musical was Encanto and you could feel the cultural influences in every scene and it was seamless. This wouldn’t even bother me if that hadn’t made a point to set it in a specific part of the real world and call it out.

A lot of the dialogue is super expository in a way that both makes me think the writers think we’re stupid and that they realized at certain points that they forgot to establish things but instead of fixing the script they just shoved in a line. Like, to the first point, there’s a part where Magnifico crushes a wish and it’s very clear that he’s getting a high from it. But instead of letting the moment stand he’s like, “Oh yes. Who knew crushing wishes would feel so good? I must continue to crush wishes so I keep feeling this good feeling,” and it’s like…why did you need to say all of that? Old Power Rangers episodes have their villains monologue less than that!

This movie opens on a storybook–just like Snow White–and it has a voice over of Asha narrating the history of Rosas as the pages flip. Not a bad idea–until you push into the scene and realize she’s telling all of this to…her grandpa? Who is 100 years old and lived through all of this? What? Why not have that scene be a kid flashback and the story is being told to her? Or have her be doing the little kid thing of telling a story to an adult? Either way, that would help establish their relationship which is ostensibly very important to this movie. Or, wild thought, just have her be telling this story to kids! Like Mirabel explaining all the Madrigal gifts in Encanto! Like, if you’re gonna take cues from that movie, at least go all the way so your movie makes sense.

It’s very unclear how Star’s magic works. It seems like he mostly just gives wildlife the ability to talk. I thought he was just granting wishes but he never does that to any of the humans. And I find it hard to believe that the wish of every animal (and mushroom) in this movie is just to be able to talk.

Easy Fixes

And all of this is compounded by the fact that this isn’t just any random movie or even any random Disney movie. It’s the *100th ANNIVERSARY*. You only get one of those and this is what they wasted it on. My hopes were really high here! I was expecting a lot of love and care to be put into this one, but it just fell absolutely flat. It feels so rote, so by the numbers, so lacking in care. It feels like the shell of an outline of a movie that relies on the fact that we know what a movie of this sort should be and can fill in the blanks.

And the worst part? The absolute worst part?

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY EASY MOVIE TO FIX.

Like, I’m serious. If you watch this movie, you will be able to, off the cuff, name tons of things that would have solved problems without breaking a sweat.

For instance, just cutting her friend group down from seven to two would have helped immensely. If she, Dahlia, and Simon have a Three Musketeers relationship, then when he betrays her to the king, it actually means something now!

For a bigger but still obvious change, why not have Asha have an existing relationship with Magnifico? So then this story can be about her losing faith in this relationship she’s had for a long time after she’s seen behind the curtain and become jaded over time and not a 7 minute “Don’t Meet Your Heroes” speedrun.

And making it clear what taking a Wish from a person means–and following through with that portrayal all movie–would all be a game changer. Show that Magnifico’s magical wish granting still leaves the people hollow. Show that Asha is a vibrant, bright person amongst a sea of robotic adults. Show me some worldbuilding!

Also, just hire a musical theater person to do the music. Seriously I can’t believe I have to say this? How is there not a single good song in this movie? There are DCOMs with more bangers than this. Almost every song in High School Musical is a bop. How are you getting outshone by High School Musical?

And these are just changes that preserve the bulk of the story as is. This movie could have been even better if they’d change the direction to go with some of their scrapped ideas!

This is just a movie that absolutely baffles me. I wouldn’t think it would be possible for a movie with this high of a profile to be this bad. You would think that even accidentally they’d have to get SOMETHING right. But they really don’t. I can’t recommend this movie, even for a fun-bad watch. It’s like eating unsalted saltines while you have dry mouth. Just watch a better movie. And here are three movies I think are more in the spirit of Disney’s 100th anniversary than Wish:

(1) The Princess and the Frog does literally everything that this movie is trying to do but better. You’ve got a movie that used a 2D style in the 3D era. You have integration of cultural elements–in this case New Orleans in the 20s. You have a classic princess story with the classic trappings: romance, villain, fairy godmother. You have a rocking villain song. Hell, you even have a wishing star motif!

(2) Encanto is the latest Disney movie of the modern era to have that classic Disney magic, imo. It sidesteps a lot of the classic Disney tropes–no princess, no serious romance (Delores and Mariano end up together but it’s very much a side thing), no villain beyond generational trauma–but it still feels musical and magical and full of character and life. It shows that you can keep the big emotions that we expect from Disney even with more modern sensibilities.

(3) Enchanted is my favorite movie of all time so I’m biased, but I still firmly believe that it stands as a better movie in general and tribute to Disney specifically than Wish. THIS is how you do an homage. The whole plot is a loving roast of all the quirks of classic Disney movies, but it’s also a sincere story that stands on its own. It has references to old movies, but they’re integrated very naturally. And it’s funny enough to get away with things like a character mid-musical number being like, “What the hell is happening? Why is everybody singing?” without it feeling like lazy, “Well that just happened” humor. And the music is so good!

(A quick note on the music btw: Most of the songs in Enchanted are musical theater style songs but there’s one song near the end called “So Close” which is like a pop ballad. And it totally makes sense why they’d depart from the musical theater style in that moment in context but, even if it was jarring and totally unfitting for the movie, it’s still objectively a strong song. Out of context, it would be a great, sad, romantic song. And if the music in Wish was all like that–good but unfitting–this would confuse me less than it does.)

Anyway, I would shell out a LOT of money for a making of documentary for this movie in the style of the Frozen 2 one because as writer and a fan of a lot of Disney’s past stuff, it is completely beyond my comprehension who a team of accomplished people get together to create the 100th Anniversary project with their vast resources and produce this. It just doesn't feel like a movie with any serious care put into it. Which is separate from quality, btw. I don’t like the movie Raya very much but I think it’s obvious a lot of care went into it and I respect this. Wish feels like a movie that was made to fill some kind of contractual obligation and it makes me sad because I really wanted to like it.

#disney's wish #asks #jamiebluewind #sorry this got so long I just find this movie so fundamentally flawed #idk what the current tag etiquette is for stuff like this so I'm gonna cover my bases #disney criticism #disney critical #wish criticism #wish critical #if you liked the movie this isn't an attack and I'm glad you had a good time

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 5 months

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Hey Raven, are you going to watch the upcoming new Disney movie "Wish"?

I've seen mixed reviews, but i'm lowkey excited since we get to see a new Disney villain, especially since Disney got really lame villains after all the old classic movies!

Have you seen the trailer for the movie? What are your thoughts so far?

I saw Wish with a friend recently! I'll give my thoughts on the trailers here (in case you don't want spoilers for the film itself) and put my full thoughts beneath the cut (if you're okay with spoilers).

Looks-wise, I think Disney was definitely trying to go for something more stylistic and painting-esque for this?? And while I commend the effort, it definitely doesn't look as interesting as Puss in Boots 2: The Last Wish. The humor also definitely isn't for me, it feels very "quirky" and "so relatable" (Asha reminds me of Mirabel in that sense), and other times too juvenile (like the goat butt joke). I do like the idea of the villain passing as a good guy in-universe and actually being vain and selfish, especially since the marketing is making it clear who the bad guy is rather than making it a "twist" villain scenario. Not sure if I like Magnifico himself though??? All the ads with him in it feel like Disney is trying too hard to make people thirst for him. From just the trailers, Magnifico does seem interesting and like more of a return to the traditional "villain" rather than the protagonist having to deal with an existential dread or concept.

***Spoilers for Wish beneath the cut!***

Right off the bat, my first impression is the narrative is SO ham-fisted. Within the first 5 minutes alone we're establishing so much information and in such a clunky, unnatural way. Like... Asha says hi to her friends but then they robotically have a dialogue where they overtly call each other "friends" just so it's clear to the audience (when in reality no one talks like that). It's telling instead of showing, and this happens sooo many times early in the film.

Could not for the life of me remember the friends or their names. There were just too many of them when 1 or 2 would have been just fine to move the plot along and to help Asha. (Yes, I know they're a reference to the 7 Dwarves but it's STILL not necessary to have so many just for a reference.)

Bruh, the makeup in this movie is on point. Every time there was a close up of a character, I was staring at their eye makeup (especially Asha and the queen's).

Asha as a protagonist was... fine? She feels very close to Mirabel and at times Rapunzel in her character. I didn't dislike her by any means, but she didn't reinvent what it means to be a Disney protag. Her motivations also come off as… really “out of nowhere”. We’re told she “cares too much”, but she initially only wants to save the wishes of her mom and grandpa; she randomly decides she has to free ALL wishes midmovie and that was jarring. There could have been a smoother transition. Instead, it was abrupt and Asha didn’t change in any meaningful way. Even her “I want” song was vague (what exactly is “to have something more for us than this”?) and didn’t connect well with her character.

I do really like her design though! Her freckles, earrings, and how her hair moves are my favorite details.

Valentino was not as annoying as I thought he would be. Still didn't care for his sass and brand of humor, but at least he helped out a few times.

I called it, the film is trying so hard to make Magnifico "hot" 🤡 I don't get it but okay, Mouse. I see your effort.

Loved his fit!! Very cool cloak and diamond/star motifs everywhere! His lab and study was also fun to look at.

I quite liked the moments when the queen talked to her husband and tried to smooth things over with him. “I can fix him energy”— Their relationship seemed very genuine at the start of the movie.

NOT THE WISH NEPOTISM...

If they were going for “sympathetic” with Magnifico, it didn’t work. He gave this backstory about how he was traumatized before + left as the only survivor of a great tragedy and so now he wants to use his magic to prevent that from happening to anyone else. Thing is, we only ever know about this via his word and staring at a half-burnt tapestry. We never see the event on screen, nor what was left of the tapestry. I was expecting a twist where it’s revealed that he lied all this time about his backstory and rewrote history so he could more easily manipulate the people of the kingdom he founded and live out the fantasy of being worshipped as a “good guy”. That was such a missed opportunity!!

Something else I was thinking of (this was during “This is the Thanks I get” was??? Maybe Magnifico started off genuinely good but became worn down over time as people’s wishes grew more selfish and they became ungrateful for what they had?? Then he could have become bitter and disillusioned by the behavior of his people.

Another idea is maybe Magnifico was “villainous” only in Asha’s eyes, since they don’t agree on how to best handle granting wishes. This would be more of a clash of ideologies rather than the traditional Obvious Evil vs Obvious Good that Disney is so known for, but hey, it could be a neat evolution of their storytelling from classic fairy tale roots.

This is to say that there were so many more interesting directions they could have gone with Magnifico’s motives, character, and portrayal 😭 but the second half of the movie never commits to any of these, they just blame his complete insanity and turn to the dark side on Forbidden Magic which is such a cop-out.

The trailers gave away the twist that Magnifico was the villain. It wasn’t revealed until like the second song into the movie. Would’ve worked better as an on-the-spot reveal rather than part of the marketing, in my opinion.

When they showed the wishes, the TWST fan in my was shouting, "OMG IT'S WISH UPON A STAR, THE LIMITED TIME STORY EVENT FROM THE HIT DISNEY MOBILE GACHA GAME TWISTED WONDERLAND!!!"

As Wish is Disney's anniversary film for 100 years, there were tooons of easter eggs scattered throughout. (I had fun looking for them!) Some were visual (I saw Aurora's dress, Snow White’s well, Peter's Pan's costume, Ursula's green smokey hands, Asha's robes resembling those of the Fairy Godmother, etc.) or extended imagery/scenes (Asha recreates Mulan's dinner and “Reflection" scenes), others were more overt lines of dialogue (Magnifico says the "Mirror, Mirror" lines along with others, a deer named “Bambi”, Valentino mentions an animal metropolis in reference to Zootopia, etc.).

In theory, the wish magic sounds cool but has so much that isn't explained??? And yeah, it's magic so it technically doesn't have to be. However, there are things not explained even when it is important to the plot. For example, Magnifico crushes some wishes and seems to absorb their power for himself (including the wish of Asha's MOM, so you'd think this would be important)? The consequence of this is that the wish's owners... become sad??? Okay, what are the long-term effects??? Why isn’t this fully explored?? But then later in the film we see the same people whose wishes were crushed... regenerate their wish??? So what, he has to keep reaping them??? And why are the wishes only taken at 18 years old? What if a wish changes? Ironically, the townspeople of Rosas have a scene where they question the technicalities of this wish magic. Magnifico essentially tells them to shut up, and it kinda felt like Disney was telling us to not question their lore www

It was weird that they never fully explored the ramifications of going without your wish. You’d think they’d show us people without ambition or hope (which would incentivize Asha to return their wishes), but everyone seems blissfully happy without their wishes?? The only exception is Asha’s friend that betrays her (cannot for the life of me remember his name), and that’s namely because his asshole friends keep ragging on him for it.

I thought the movie was going to go in a “you can make your own wish come true!!” direction but NOPE, turns out it’s just magic. Felt like Disney unintentionally wrote a whole movie about "wishes not coming true unless some big powerful entity allows it to come true” (Asha literally becomes the fairy godmother of Rosas at the end, making her ultimately no different than Magnifico)… ie a metaphor for how Disney owns so many properties it practically owns our childhoods www

"The power of friendship saves the day" ending 🤣 It was very Paper Mario ending-esque...

A song saving the day though?? It’s giving the Illumination Lorax film…

I was right about the humor. Too "quirky" and/or juvenile for me.

Animation was alright? Nothing awful about it, it just didn't feel as detailed or as experimental as other films with a similar style.

Songs were mid, which checks out with the recent Disney music excluding We Don't Talk About Bruno--

Some of the lyrics however were awful. “I let you live here for free and I don’t even charge you rent” is redundant. “So I throw caution to every warning sign” means you’ll show more caution than usual, not that you’ll forego caution. The correct expression is “throw caution to the wind”. Etc, etc, etc.

There was a cute after credits scene where they reveal that Asha's 100 year old grandpa (same age as Disney omg) wrote the "When You Wish Upon a Star" theme, which was sweet since his wish was "wanting to make a mark".

THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE WAS STAR!! It was very cute (partly because it couldn't talk and just jingled and giggled, I was dreading another annoying mascot animal voice) and reminds me of my own pet… The way Star infused everything with glitter and formed unique shapes with the red twine was so fun 😭 I'M A STAR STAN, IT WAS ADORABLE AND KINDA BRATTY AND I'M LIVING FOR IT

Decent ideas, "meh" execution. Enchanted and Shrek did it better in terms of self-aware, fairy tale defying stories. It felt as though the movie was trying to deliver a profound message but got lost in the sauce of making as making Disney references possible and didn't fully commit to actually saying something meaningful. As a result, the film feels somewhat… hollow.

That one friend betraying Asha was the biggest surprise in the film but I still saw it coming 😂 I do get where he’s coming from though (being worried that his wish won’t ever come true) but it also felt like his conflict wasn’t resolved??? It might have gone better if the movie actually fully tried to push the “you can make your own wish come true” message (to reinvigorate the traitor to make his dreams a reality on his own) but they don’t 💦

Wish didn’t end up being “the wishing star’s origin story” because not once did anyone question where Star came from or why it was different from other stars (or what the significance of Magnifico blotting out the other stars was).

I think the people that would enjoy this movie are the people that are already highly invested in Disney and the nostalgia of it.

... Anyway, stan Star 🤩 (and the talking mushrooms 🍄)

#wish #disney wish #spoilers #question #notes from the writing raven #puss in boots 2 #the last wish #puss in boots 2: the last wish #Mirabel Madrigal #Encanto #Asha #twst #twst wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #Rapunzel #Enchanted #Shrek #Queen Amaya #King Magnifico

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adventuretolkienlover · 11 months

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Hugo's Dynamics with the Tangled Gang

I noticed that a lot of people think Hugo would be at odds with the rest of the Tangled team. Or even straight up disliked by them! But I don't think that would be so. Now keep in mind, these are just my headcannons. But I think this is how it would be. Also, just as a heads up, I prefer Varian and Hugo as really good friends as opposed to lovers. So I'll be using that AU instead. (EDIT: Fixed some Grammer mistakes.)

Rapunzel:

At first, Hugo finds Rapunzel's enthusiasm a bit off setting. But there's one thing that starts the friendship. They are both outgoing. They both like trying new things! And soon they're trying all kinds of things together. New restaurant? They'll check it out! Some sort of new traveling show passing through? Sign them up! Alchemy Convention? Heck yes!

I like to think Rapunzel likes teaching people to paint. And one day, Hugo ducks into her painting class to evade a ticked off Eugene. (Guess who was snooping through his cosmetics again? Lol!) Rapunzel convinces him to stay and help him paint a simple painting of maybe flowers and or his mouse Olivia. Hugo doesn't think he has much artistic talent. But Raps thinks it's adorable! And after that, Raps will give him art tips and lessons every once in a while.

Rapunzel also help him learn how to relax. Hugo can be a bit uptight. And she shows him how's okay to slow down and enjoy life. After a life of being on the run, Hugo needs that. Things like nice rests from the lab in the castle gardens or even just spending time together with the family, (I.e Varian and the rest.) are all on the agenda.

OH! One more thing they have in common! Being manipulated by someone they considered a mother figure. Hugo had Donella and Raps had Mother Gothal!

Eugene:

They don't like each other at first. They're still sore at each other about an old job they did together. Spoiler alert. It didn't work out great.

They are super competitive about all sorts of things. Like, ALL sorts of stuff! Who's got the best sneaking skills. The best sword fighting skills. Who's got better hair.😂 A lot.

And they are definitely competitive when it comes to Varian. Both want big brother privileges! But they don't seem to understand Varian loves them both equally. Eventually they come to an understanding and agree to share big brother duties for Varian's sake.

Their competitiveness does settle down a bit after a while. Eugene realizes the Hugo is actually not that bad. And Hugo realizes that the past is past and Eugene is a different person now. They still have banter. But it's not really ill natured. Just regular dude trash talking.

Cass:

I'm going with a friend on this one. INSTANT FRIENDS! Why you may ask? Let me explain.

They both can give a hard time to people they dislike. And you KNOW they'd gang up on Eugene.🤣 Between Cass's "Fitzjerk" nick name for him and gosh knows what nick names and insults Hugo can come up with, Eugene's in for a ride!

Weapons. WEAPONS WEAPONS WEAPONS! Knives are their favorite. They regularly show off their knife collections to each other. Hugo got really excited to see Cass's. She's got some really high quality knives!

Conversations like this.👉 (Rapunzel: Cass. You cannot take a sword to a ball. Cass: If Hugo can take his knives, I can take my sword. Varian: What?! Hugo: *Grins and somehow pulls three knives out of his sleeves* Rapunzel: No. Definitely not. Hugo: We don't have any fun. Do we Cass?)

I'm pretty sure the two of them have rather controversial views on the royals. And sometimes Varian joins them.

Lance:

Again, INSTANT FRIENDS!

They have all sorts in common! Flamboyant? Check! Love to be fabulous? Check! Still slightly has thief instincts? Check! Love to preform? Check! Drama queens kings? Definitely a big checkaroonie!

Also, I like to think they both have some abandonment issues and are both looking for parental support. Both went almost their whole lives without a good family so... Yeah. Support buddies!

And I think Hugo is inspired by Lance adopting Angry and Catalina. Giving kids the best life possible to make up for the horrible one you had? Yes please! Hugo probably decides to adopt a few of his own someday. And speaking of Angry and Catalina...

Angry and Catalina:

I imagine that when I come to these two, Varian is Catalina's favorite and Hugo is Angry's favorite. And vise versa.

Not saying Hugo doesn't like Catalina. She's very sweet. But Hugo's very... LOUD. In his demeanor and general presence. And a bit brash sometimes.

Because of this though, I think Angry would latch on eventually. Maybe not right away. Because this is Angry after all. But soon enough.

So that's all I got for now! Feel free to reblog and add your thoughts onto this!

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sl-newsie · 10 months

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Spelled (Carlos de Vil x Sanderson Daughter)- Ch. 7: New Wardrobe

After leaving the VKs to settle in, I decide to go give Fairy Godmother my report on their arrival.

“Hiya!”

A girl with blonde hair piled up into a beehive sticks her head out of the dorm across from Jane’s.

“You must be Magica! I just moved in last week!” She scurries out with a big grin on her face. “I’m Rosaline, daughter of Rapunzel! Like you can’t tell, right? Let me tell you it’s not easy to upkeep.”

I try to keep a friendly face, but in all honesty her energy is way too contagious and perky.

“Um, hi. I’m sorry but I have some errands to run-”

“Oh no worries I totally understand!” Rosaline quickly nods her head, but in doing so causes her beehive to come tumbling down. “Oh! Mind the hair! Mind the hair!”

I quickly rush down the hallway and am almost to FG’s office-

“Sparks! I need you a quick sec!”

I skid to a halt and turn to see Ben waving at me from down the hall.

“Real quick- I need you to help me with something.”

“What now?” I drone as I walk into his room. “I was just about to- oh God!”

Ben’s room looks like it was hit by a twister! Papers are scattered, the curtains are shredded, his bed is torn in half, and nearly every glass item is cracked and shattered.

“Ben, what in the name of Auradon happened in here?”

Ben sheepishly looks at the floor. “I, um… was trying out a new fencing move and things… got out of hand.”

“Got out of hand? Ben, it looks like you turned your room inside out! What do you expect me to do?”

“I donno- have you learned declutter spells yet?”

“Yes, but we’ve barely touched the basics. With my luck I’d probably burn the room down! But with the mess you’ve made that might be an improvement.”

Ben gives me a pleading look. “Please? Mom’s gonna kill me if she sees this.”

It’s true, she would. I’ve only seen Queen Belle angry a select few times, and it’s never pretty. I always pity the poor soul who faces her wrath. People say it’s King Beast who gave Ben his temper, but I say it’s his mom.

“Very well. But no more fencing indoors.” I point a scolding finger. Then I stand in the center of the room and take a deep breath.

One, two, three.

“Spick and span with the flick of my hand! Mess, stress, pests, be gone!” I swipe my fingers and the whole mess picks itself up with a pop! In less than a second the room looks like normal.

“Wow! Magica, that was amazing! You’re a lifesaver!” Ben thanks me as I rush back out to the hallway.

“No problem! Now I’ve got to-”

“Hey, Magica? There’s a leak in my dorm roof. You think maybe you could…?”

Ugh- it’s Chad.

“Chad, I fixed the leak last week. How in the name of Auradon is it leaking already?”

“I tried to mix some acids from chemistry with one of Fiona’s potions from her magic class. Nothing happened except that some got on the ceiling and ate away at the roof, so… it’s leaking again.”

I groan. “Chad, I swear if thou do one more dim-witted thing I am going to gut thy brain out!” I storm into his room, glaring at the gaping hole in the ceiling. “Make it swift and quick, get this mess fixed!” I snap my fingers.

Bang! The ceiling repairs itself, and as soon as it’s fixed I push past Chad before he can ask me to do any more chores.

“Freak! Find that flea bag of yours and get that filthy rodent out now!”

It takes all my willpower not to strangle the drama queen right then and there.

“Audrey, you have another squirrel in your room?”

“Not a squirrel, a mouse! Make your cat get rid of it!”

I cross my arms and glare at her. “Why should I?”

She lifts her chin at me. “Because if you don’t I’ll tell Fairy Godmother you failed to do a good deed, and you’ll fail your goodness 2.0 class!”

Ugh! It’s not enough I’ve got to worry about keeping my family tree a secret, but now I’m being blackmailed for grades?

“Just sit tight. I’ll go find Binx.” I head back to my dorm and begin searching. “Binx? Binx! Where are you?” I hastily look around the room.

“Here I am!” The black cat jumps up into the windowsill. “What’s wrong?’

“Everything, that’s what’s wrong! I’m trying to report to the headmistress, but everyone keeps asking me to do meaningless tasks! Speaking of which, could you run down to Audrey’s room and chase down a mouse?”

“Again? You didn’t hex her room again, did you?”

“No! She probably let it in on purpose just to nag at me! I don’t have time for this!”

Binx slips out the door. “Don’t worry, Magica. I’m on it.”

“Thanks, Binx.” I start heading towards FG’s office-

“Um, Magica?”

“WHAT?!” I screech, only to whip my head around and find Lonnie and Jane cowering in fear. Immediately my face shifts to surprise and apologetic, and I quickly cover my flaming hands. “Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to snap, it’s just that I’ve been under a lot of… pressure to carry out deeds for Ben.”

“Seems to me like you’re just doing other people’s chores,” Lonnie points out gently.

I look down, ashamed. “I know, but if I keep them happy then they won’t bother Ben, and he won’t be stressed. That and… I really want people to like me.”

Jane gives me a hug. “You don’t need to burn yourself out for people to like you, Magica. Just… don’t yell so much.”

“No promises,” I laugh nervously. “Actually I was just on my way to see your mom to tell her about how the VKs are doing. They’re actually not that bad. Sure, a little rude and rambunxious at times, but nobody’s perfect. I was also going to show them to the dining hall.”

Jane tenses up. “I still don’t know about them. I’m not sure if they’ll ever be able to fit in here.”

I did.

“These things take time, Jane. Maybe they’ll surprise us?” Lonnie says hopefully.

“I guess so. If you want Magica, I can go tell mom about the VKs while you go bring them to dinner. But… make sure they don’t act out or make a scene.”

I want to keep defending the new students, but I hold my tongue. Their minds are just as stubborn as the villains’.

“Thanks, Jane. I’ll see thou later.”

Carlos’ POV

When we get to our dorms, the first thing I notice is the door next to Mal and Evie’s. It’s got a weathered look with black thorns and cat eyes drawn on it, as well as pink flames. Is this Magica’s room? Is she our neighbor?

Our dorm has a basic layout: 2 beds, 2 dressers, a few tables, chairs, and couches, and-

“That’s a big TV!” Jay cheers as he sets his bag down on the bed closest to the window. “I claim this bed!”

“Why?” I whine. “Can’t I have first dibs?”

“You snooze, you lose, Carlos!”

Jay starts looking around for things to steal while I start to unpack. While I do I can’t help but not stop thinking about Magica. It’s like every time she smiles I get a blissful mushy feeling, like I just swallowed a bottle of happiness. Not only is she drop-dead pretty, but she’s actually smart! I don’t think she’s like the others here… There’s something different about her, but I can’t think of what sets her apart.

In 20 minutes Mal and Evie join us, with Mal scrolling through her spellbook and Evie wondering out loud about changing Magica’s ‘look.’

“Mal, do you think Magica would look better in corset heels or ankle pumps? I’ve also thought of maybe a new skirt or dress with a sweetheart neckline? And maybe some patterned tights!”

“Evie, we have more important things to worry about. Try thinking about the wand and not replacing someone’s wardrobe!”

“Oh, but she looks so- so… good. I want her to look wicked!” Evie complains.

“But I like how she looks already,” I argue. “What's wrong with her now?” I mean, she has the same preppy look everyone else does, but her bright eyes and blonde hair are a refreshing change from the rugged looks on the Isle.

“She looks like she’s 6! It’s about time that girl actually wore something that showed her full potential.”

“I still don’t trust her, or anyone here for that matter.” Mal frowns. “I swear she looks familiar…”

Just then, we all hear a knock on the door. Mal scrambles to put her spellbook away and Jay hastily covers his stolen goods.

Evie opens the door, and I see a familiar blonde poke her head in.

“Hey guys! Art thou settled alright?”

In response to her strange question we all give her confused looks, then she seems a bit flustered and rephrases her sentence.

“How are you settling in?”

“Oh! We’ve gotten along well so far. Thanks for checking up.” I give her a smile and she flinches her eyes away from me. Do I make her nervous? Also why did she speak like that, as if in a different time period?

“Yup! Just about to head off for dinner!” Mal says a bit too perky.

Magica smiles again. “I hear there’s pot roast tonight! And stuffing, candy apples, chocolate pudding-”

“You had me at pot roast!” Jay declares. “C’mon guys, let’s eat while the eating’s good!”

Magica’s POV

Carlos and Jay start to follow me out the door with hungry looks, but Evie motions for us to stay a bit longer.

“Mal and I have some tips for you!” She says with a secretive smile.

“You… want to help me? You’re not gonna ask for favors or want me to fix anything?”

“Why would we do that? It’s just a simple spell, no big deal.” Mal shrugs.

“Wait- you can do magic? Huh. Ben never mentioned that…” I’ll have to keep tabs on it. “It’s just, all day people have been expecting me to fix their problems with my magic. But now you’re just being nice and it’s… a nice change.”

“No problem. Now let me think…”

I frown as I see Mal glance at a book half hidden under a blanket.

“Lose the innocent pretty-in-pink getup, maybe try… aha! Ok Magica, hold still one sec-” Mal points to me and recites from the book: “By the powers of this bewitching book, change the clothes to a wicked look!”

She snaps her fingers, and I can feel my clothes shift. Shorter, slimmer-

I look down. “Oh my God.”

“That’s so much better!” Evie grins happily.

“It’s… different,” I try to appear grateful. My light pink Victorian gown has now turned into a low-cut dark pink sleeved corset with pink flames embroidered on it, complete with an above-the-knee red velvet skirt, black tights, and brown Victorian heels. I look just like Mother.

God, what’s Ben going to say now?

Carlos’ POV

On the way to the dining hall I walk next to Jay and he keeps making fun of my ‘goofy’ smile.

“I mean, your face when Mal spelled Magica’s clothes? Priceless! You looked like you didn’t know which way was up!

It’s true, I did kinda blank out when I saw Magica’s gown change. Wow- just… wow. I thought Magica looked pretty before, but now- one would say she’s too beautiful to be real!

“She deserves more than just being everyone’s go-to cleanup maid. I can’t understand how people think they can just use her for her magic like that, it- it’s not fair.”

“You feel sorry for an Auradon girl? Break out the ice packs ‘cause Carlos is hot with lovesickness!”

“Shut up! I don’t love her!”

“You’ve never shown this much attention to a girl before. What’s different?” Evie asks.

I shake my head. “I donno, she’s… Smart, witty, funny-”

“Smoking hot,” Jay inputs.

“She’s gorgeous! But it’s not just her looks, it’s all of her. I- I can’t really explain it.”

“You’re in love, Carlos. Whether you like it or not.” Evie smiles.

I- I am? I never thought villains were supposed to get the girl, let alone fall in love.

“But she’d never go for a guy like me. I’m a VK, remember? She’d want someone like that Ben guy.”

“Don’t you remember? That Audrey chick’s all over him.” Jay rolls his eyes.

“You could ask her out?” Evie tries to encourage me.

“No way! I just met her! Besides, I’d rather have her think I don’t like her than let her know I think a beautiful girl like her would ever fall for a deadbeat like me.”

“Carlos don’t beat yourself up. Any girl would be lucky to have you.”

I give Evie a pointed look. “Really? And what makes you say that?”

“‘Cause you’re not him.” Jay points across the room.

A blonde kid in a blue blazer keeps following Magica around, and she doesn’t look happy.

“Please? Just go on a date with me and then it’ll make Audrey jealous!” He pleads.

Magica turns and gets in his face. “Chad Charming, I have done multiple chores and favors for thou in the past week alone! I am not some pawn thou can use as a way to make Audrey jealous! How dare thou think thy can exploit me!”

That’s it, I’ve had enough!

“Hey!” I storm over and tap the guy on the shoulder. “Chad, is it?”

“Carlos, don’t make a scene!” Mal hisses. “We’ve got more important things to-”

“She wants to be left alone, so leave her alone.”

Chad turns around and gives me a grunt. “Huh. And who are you, tiny?”

“I’m Carlos de Vil, and if you keep harassing her like that I’m gonna make your life a living nightmare.”

Chad’s eyes widen and fear paints his face. “De Vil? As in Cruella de Vil? Ben, your villain freaks are threatening me!”

Magica’s POV

I can’t deny that Carlos sticking up for me is really sweet. At first I thought he was joking, but after Chad tried to shove him and Carlos socked him in the nose I knew it wasn’t fake.

“Ben! He hit me!” Chad whines.

The man in question comes over and helps Chad blot the blood running down his face, followed by Jane and Audrey.

“Wait- Magica… Is that you?”

“I think he broke my nose!”

I roll my eyes. “Stop being a drama queen. That’s Audrey’s job. Just hold still-” I snap my fingers in his face and Chad’s nose returns to normal. “There. Now quit whining.”

“Magica- Oh my God, what happened to you?” Jane looks at me, horrified. “You look- you look…”

I cringe. “Too much?”

“Gorgeous!” She finishes. “Where did you get those shoes? They’re wicked!”

“That’s what I was going for,” Mal shrugs like it’s nothing.

“Ah! What did you do?”

We turn around and see Audrey, who’s fuming.

“Why did you change your clothes? Now you look- you look-!” She looks around anxiously and hisses: “Almost better than me!”

“Well excuse me for actually wanting to look nice, Audrey.” I try not to look embarrassed by all the new attention I’m getting.

“You’re not the only pretty one here,” Mal says smugly. “Better get used to it. Evie’s talents could give you a run for your money.”

Audrey sniffs. “Just stay away from us, freak. And your little gang of villains too.”

With that she storms off to sit next to the other preppy populars while I’m left gawking next to Evie.

“Is she always this pleasant?”

I tilt my head. “When she wants to be. It’s a miracle I haven’t jinxed her hair orange yet.”

Mal ignores our complaints and confidently plops down onto the nearest table. “Forget her. Let’s eat.”

I turn to face Carlos, who’s nervously playing with his hands. “Carlos, thank you so much for that. Chad’s always been a real pain, and… no one’s ever actually cared enough to stand up for me like that. If there’s anything I can do for you, please let me know.”

Carlos nods his head. “No problem. I’ve dealt with worse back at the Isle. Besides, you’ve actually been nice to us and don’t deserve to have that jerk treat you like that. Um… Wanna join us?”

At first I want to accept their offer, but when I turn and see Jane sitting alone I remember my promise to her.

“I thank thou for thy kindness, but I have previous arrangements with Jane.” Before I can stop myself, I’ve already spoken in my Mother’s tongue.

Carlos’ POV

“Why do you talk like that?”

Magica seems thrown off by my question, and shakes her head as if to jerk herself out of a trance.

“I’m sorry, Carlos. I do it when I get nervous. It’s… a way my family speaks, so I’ve caught on a few phrases. If I do it again just point it out and I’ll rephrase.”

“I thought you were an orphan,” Mal says.

“I am, but my adopted family speaks like that. And I will not apologize for being proud of my family.”

At first I expect Mal to keep interrogating her, but she just nods her head.

“I respect that. You want honor and glory for you and your family, same as us. Only you follow the rules.”

“Do ya still maybe wanna swing by later, trixie?”

Magica groans and rolls her eyes. “If I say yes, will you stop calling me that?”

“Nope.”

“Thought so. But… I haven’t met many people here who know how to have fun. Eh, why not? Sure, I’ll be over later.”

After Magica leaves I give Jay a wide-eyed look, which he returns with a smirk and 2 thumbs up.

“There ya go, bro. I just got you a golden chance to meet the girl of your dreams.”

“Jay, I… I don’t know what to say…”

“Just sit down and eat.” Jay yanks my arm and pulls me to sit down next to him.

But why would Magica ever want to hang out with a VK?

#disney descendants #descendants carlos #mal descendants #evie descendants #jay descendants #disney #descendants #ben descendants #audrey descendants #uma descendants #harry hook descendants #doug descendants #binx hocus pocus #hocus pocus #sarah sanderson #mary sanderson #winifred sanderson

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whitegoldtower · 10 months

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Which of my OCs lays pipe the best?

Easy answer; Silvandrel (Solemnar)

✨Now for the lore drop✨

Silvandrel is his real name, Solemnar is his alias - aliases are a popular choice for a lot of people in his line of work.

He’s a Thalmor Battlemage / Fist

He’s a big boy, standing at almost 8ft tall, and is proficient in Destruction (Lightning), Alteration, One Handed, Speechcraft and (hilariously, given his size) Sneak.

When he’s not out on the battlefield, he’s the Thalmor equivalent of the Sniper on the Roof™️ (I was inspired by this thing I read about “Fists of the Thalmor”), except instead of using marksmanship, he just drops down from his hiding spot and hits his target(s) like a cannonball, armed with a dagger. Y’know like how in AC you can jump from a height and kill from above?

Imagine ya boys Alexios or Bayek, but bigger, scarier, and equipped with claws and fangs.

Yup, he’s a vampire, too. He’s trained to use every part of his physique to his advantage, so you know he’s got that good good.

He’s not exactly the definition of conventionally attractive, and not by Thalmor standards - yes, he’s an Altmer, but unlike your typical poster boy, he’s built like a brick shithouse, has long and messy ashy-grey hair, a crooked nose (from having it broken so many times during battle), yellow cat-like eyes, bat-like ears and a squint in his right eye - the squint is due to a combo of the stress that his magick use puts on his brain and an incident wherein an experimental shock spell backfired and essentially permanently paralysed those eye muscles.

He’s got a bit of a dark backstory - he was born into the Thalmor, and was raised to be nothing more than a weapon. Even at birth, he was deemed a ‘mutant’ and ‘ugly’ due to his size, complexion, and the fact that he was born a vampire. If that’s not bad enough?

He was used as a Guinea pig for magickal experiments conducted by the Thalmor to alter his physical chemistry and the way his brain works to wire him for war.

They didn’t see an innocent child. They saw an opportunity in a monster. If you combine the Winter Soldier with Frankenstein’s Monster, you get Silvandrel.

I’m doing some shady Thalmor quests with him and then kicking him into the Imperial legion. Unfortunately, I don’t think Silvandrel would ever be able to break away from the Thalmor - he’s been brainwashed, traumatised, experimented on, dragged through multiple wars and I think if someone tried to put him in a quiet environment he would literally ✨uninstall life✨.

BUT

If you’re brave (or stupid) enough, he’s a good lay. He has the most impressive control over shock magick (he can make empty soul gems vibrate 👀), he finds primal play therapeutic (he likes to play cat and mouse), and he knows exactly how to please a woman (c’mon, he’s an Agent. Getting into bed with someone is a piece of cake for him).

Take it one step further; make him fall in love with you.

He can be gentle. He can and will learn your routines. He’ll learn what you like and dislike and follow your rules to a T. He’ll open up to you about wanting to be human. He’ll let you hold onto him when he has nightmares. He would die for you, kill for you, live for you, breathe for you, hang on your every word.

You’d have the world’s scariest guard dog in your pocket. You’d be untouchable.

So who’s gonna get him?

Can’t be Elenwen, she sets off his mummy issues. His relationship with her is like Quasimodo’s relationship with Frollo. Or Rapunzel with Mother Gothel. It’s rough. She put him in Proudspire Manor (a gilded cage) specifically to keep an eye on him, and he can’t leave Solitude without her permission or a dossier stating why he’s leaving.

Can’t be Lydia, she’s off on a jolly with Corryn and his gang.

It’s probably going to be Jordis. She’s gonna end up being subjected to how he acts at home, so she’s going to see more of his real personality than anyone else, given that he lives in Proudspire manor, and she’s the Housecarl. Elenwen’s not happy about Silvandrel being housed with a Nord, but she’s unwilling to let him live in a house on his own.

Even more interesting is that Jordis has the potential to be a Blade 👀👀👀

And we know the Thalmor and the Blades are big time enemies.

Perhaps the Blades send Jordis to pose as a Housecarl to spy on Silvandrel, given that he’s one of the Thalmor’s “secret weapons”?

Juicy.

#tesblr #skyrim #skyrim oc #thalmor #lore drop #ramblings #the blades #imperial legion #stormcloak rebellion

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astra2111 · 2 years

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Disney Has So Many Issues

Aight lets go.

Age Issues In Disney By Astra.

Let's see.

1.) We start of with Tangled.

We all know that Rapunzel was gonna turn 18. BUT. My homeboy Flynn, on the other hand, was 26 at the time.

Yeah. I researched. My two (2) 18 year old friends said that they would never date a 26 year old.

2.) Beauty And The Beast is something else entirely.

You would think that 'Oh, Disney made the man older again. We know how they are.' But no. Belle was 17 at the time. Which is fine, right? But then, the Beast, or the Prince, was 11 when he was transformed into a beast. He was told that he could only age till 21, by when he should find his one true love and should get free of the curse. That being said, how long was he the Beast? If he didn't really have all that much control over himself, he must've not been in that form for very long?

And yeah. Don't get me started on how my girl Belle fell in love with a Beast. I get the symbolism and how what's on the outside doesn't matter, it's the inside that should be beautiful. But seriously Disney. This is laying it on a bit too thick, don't you think?

3.) Ah, yes. Snow White.

Whoo, boy. Snow White was 12. Or 14. Depending on different articles. But damn. Prince Florian was 31. 31.

Like. Guy literally went, "Oh wow, there's this 14 year old girl unconscious in the middle of the woods. Let me go and kiss her." Sir, that is pedophiliac behavior. Seriously. Stop.

4.) We got Hercules next.

Again, Hercules was 28. My girl Meg was 18. Need I say more?

Also. Meg continued to reject Hercules. This massive windbag however, didn't understand what 'no' meant and kept pestering Meg until the end of the movie. Which, by the way, again, pedophiliac behavior.

5.) I didn't expect something to be wrong with Ratatouille, but yeah.

We know Linguini right? Cute, dorky guy, friends with a mouse? He was 19. And his love interest, Colette. She's beautiful, talented, just an overall badass and yeah. She's 26.

Again, what the hell, Disney?

6.) Whoo. Last one. Mulan.

Mulan, the absolute Queen of a woman, was 16. Alright, cool. But. Li Shang, her love interest, was 23.

*deep sigh* Why?

I get that kids would never understand this, but please. This is a bit too far, don't you think, Disney?

@tfischaitea

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slashingdisneypasta · 3 years

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Slashers / Horror Villains as: Animated (Children’s) Movie Villain Songs

+ A Nightmare Before Christmas

First of all, its mostly Disney. Second of all, I hope you know that this was a struggle for me.

Also, note, Bubba will be the only Leatherface in this post and Billy and Stu will be the only Ghostfaces. There is Norma Bates though, so sort of a consolation.

There are links to videos on YouTube ^^

~~~

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher / Ghostface: Playing With the Big Boy’s Now (Hotep and Huy, Prince of Egypt)

Well... they’re part of the ‘big boys’, now! They are part of the Slashers group that, uh, ‘inspired them’. Imagine instead of Egyptian Gods, they’re chanting Slasher names.

[HUY] Pick up your silly twig, boy [HOTEP & HUY] You're playing with the big boys now! Ha ha ha ha!

[EGYPTIAN PRIESTS] By the power of Ra Mut, Nut, Khnum, Ptah Sobek, Sekhmet, Sokar, Selket Anubis, Anukis Hemsut, Tefnut, Meshkent, Mafdet...

Chop Top and Nubbins + Bubba Sawyer / Leatherface: Kidnap Mr Sandy Claws (Lock, Shock and Barrel, Nightmare Before Christmas)

I mean... they aren't Drayton’s minions, but they are like this XD

I say that we take a cannon, aim it at his door And then knock three times And when he answers Sandy Claws will be no more

Yes you're so stupid, think now If we blow him up to smithereens We may lose some pieces And then Jack will beat us black and green

Kidnap the Sandy Claws Tie him in a bag

Chucky / Charles Lee Ray: In The Dark Of The Night (Rasputin, Anastasia)

Mystical man? Check! ‘Betrayal’ (As far as he sees it)? Check. Made them pay? Check; I think Nica, Sarah and all the other families he destroys throughout the franchise can attest to that. And ‘One little girl got away’? Well Andy isn’t a girl, but yeah. Check.

I was once the most mystical man in all Russia When the royals betrayed me they mad a mistake My curse made each of them pay But one little girl got away Little Anya, beware Rasputin's awake

Drayton Sawyer: Don’t Fall In Love (Forte, Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas)

Its such a crochety, unessessarily rude way of describing relationships to someone! I mean, I understand completely and resonate deeply with the desire to be alone and not be responsible for anyone else, but- come on! Beast doesn't share your view! Let it go!

Its just like Drayton’s reaction to Bubba having a crush. Super cool video too!

As soon as your heart rules your head Your life is not your own It's hell when someone's always there It's bliss to be alone

And love of any kind is bad A dog, a child, a cat They take up so much precious time Now, where's the sense in that?

Freddy Krueger: No More Mr Nice Guy (Rothbart, Swan Princess)

A man with an uncomfortable relationship with the main female character pretending to be normal and not homicidal for a while before unlocking more power and letting there inner bad guy loose and taking great pleasure in it? Sounds familiar. They also have a similar vocabulary- except of course Rothbart is rated G.

I'll become that nasty, naughty, dirty, spiteful Wicked, wayward, way-delightful Bad guy I was born to be

Lyin' loathesome, never-tender Indiscreet repeat offender No more Mr Nice Guy That's not me

Inkubus: The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind (Professor Rattigan, The Greatest Mouse Detective)

‘Inkubus’ is literally a movie about him listing all his crimes over the centuries and messing with the police force because he has a bone to pick with a detective. Sounds pretty similar to me! Listen to the song! ^^

Now comes the real tour de force Tricky and wicked, of course! My earlier crimes were fine for their times But now that I'm at it again An even grimmer plot has been simmering In my great criminal brain!

Jason Voorhees: Despicable Me (About Gru, Despicable Me)

I... this is all I could think of!! But the more I listen to it and read the lyrics... it f i t s Jason so well! XD Please just let this slide; I know Gru isn't really a villain but he is at the start!! Let me have this.

Why ask why? Better yet "Why not?" Why are you marking x on that spot? Why use a blow torch isn't that hot? Why use a chainsaw? Is that all you got? Why do you like seeing people in shock? But my question to you is "Why not?" Why go to the bank and stand in line Just use a freeze gun it saves me time. I'm havin' a bad, bad day It's about time that I get my way Steam rollin' whatever I see, Huh, despicable me I'm havin' a bad, bad day If you take it personal that's okay Watch, this is so fun to see Huh, despicable me

Jennifer Check: Trust In Me (Kaa, The Jungle Book)

She’s a succubus demon. Tempting boys into a safe-feeling, docile state so she she can strike is her thing.

Will cease to resist Just relax Be at rest Like a bird In a nest

Trust in me Just in me Shut your eyes And trust in me

Mayor Buckman and Granny Boone: Savages (Governor Ratcliffe and the Colonizer’s parts, Pocahontas)

Obviously, because of the (Inaccurate) historical relevance of both movies (Different time’s, same terrible prejudice,) and also because there is definitely a very cult-ish feel about both Governor Ratcliffe’s song and Buckman’s leadership. How easily they’re able to gather support from their people for the most horrible reasons. How horrifying it is to audiences and historians.

They're only good when dead They're vermin, as I said And worse

They're savages! Savages!

Barely even human

Savages! Savages!

Drive them from our shore! They're not like you and me Which means they must be evil We must sound the drums of war!

Michael Myers: The Gospel Truth II (Muses about Hades, Hercules)

In a Disney movie, Michael would have others sing his song about him as he goes about his silent, determined walking XD

If there's one God you don't want to get steamed up It's Hades 'Cause he had an evil plan He ran the underworld But thought the dead were dull and uncouth He was as mean as he was ruthless And that's the gospel truth He had a plan to shake things up And that's the gospel truth

Midnight Man: Oogie Boogie’s Song (Oogie Boogie, Nightmare Before Christmas)

A song about a “Gamblin’ Boogie Man” is perfect for the Midnight Man! He and Oogie could be pals.

Woah! The sound of rollin' dice To me is music in the air 'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man Although I don't play fair It's much more fun, I must confess When lives are on the line Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy Now that'd be just fine

Norma Bates: Mother Knows Best Reprise (Mother Gothel, Tangled)

Norma is soooooo so so so unbelievably manipulative towards Norman (And Dylan. It just works better on Norman) and this song absolutely presents that. She can go from sweet, loving mother to spiteful, heinous bitch in two seconds if Norman or Dylan don't do what or react the way she wants them to.

Likes you? Please, Rapunzel, that's demented

This is why you never should have left! Dear, this whole romance that you've invented, Just proves you're too naive to be here Why would he like you? Come on now, really! Look at you, you think that he's impressed? Don't be a dummy Come with mummy

Pamela Voorhees: My Lullaby (Zira, The Lion King 2)

In a opposite approach to a villainous mother to Norma, we have Pam, who was heartbroken by the camp councillors letting her son die and vowed to get revenge. She didn't know she was teaching Jason to be the Crystal Lake killer like Zira did, but she did, and the whole song does have her kind of feel to it also.

Sleep, my little Kovu Let your dreams take wing One day when you're big and strong You will be a kingI've been exiled, persecuted Left alone with no defense When I think of what that brute did I get a little tense But I dream a dream so pretty That I don't feel so depressed 'Cause it soothes my inner kitty And it helps me get some rest

Patrick Bateman: Cruella De Vil (Arthur, 101 Dalmations)

Never before was there a song that described audiences reaction to watching Patrick living in his daily life and hearing his thoughts better then this one.

Cruella De Vil Cruella De Vil If she doesn't scare you No evil thing will To see her is to Take a sudden chill Cruella, Cruella De Vil

The curl of her lips The ice in her stare All innocent children Had better beware She's like a spider waiting For the kill Look out for Cruella De Vil

Pennywise (Both): You’re Only Second Rate (Jafar, Return of Jafar)

Mostly for the video and Jafar’s energy in this scene actually XD So many transformations, so many tasteless puns! I was going to give this to Freddy but its the closest thing to Penny I could think of.

Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise Snap me in a trap, cut me down to size I'll make a great escape It's just a piece of cake You're only second rate You know your hocus-pocus isn't tough enough And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up Let me pontificate upon your sorry state You're only second rate

Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt: Hellfire (Judge Claude Frollo, Hunchback of Notre Dame)

A nasty filthy man who think’s he’s in the right despite being the biggest creep and monster ever? Mhm.

*Note: I honestly didn't notice the deformed baby, Quasimodo/Thomas link until the day after I wrote this. Don't know how I feel about it. I mean, Hoyt is actually nice, in his way, to Thomas so the connection isn't totally there but onwards:

Beata Maria You know I am a righteous man Of my virtue I am justly proud

Beata Maria You know I'm so much purer than The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd

End of Post! 🌼

(Bonus’ under the cut)

I did think of other connections which I obviously didnt landed on but still have merit! Here!

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher: ‘Gaston’ was considered, but that would have just been a joke XD I don’t think Stu is quite as obsessed with Billy as LeFou is with Gaston.

Chucky: Friends on the Other Side. Obviously! That link was actually what inspired me to make this post. In The Dark of Night fits to a T though.

Freddy Krueger: You’re Only Second Rate! Ah, its perfectttt. But No More Mr Nice Guy fits better. If I ever do a Slashers as Disney Villains post, he’ll be Jafar for sure. Or Hades. Or Scar. Or Oogie. Probably Hades. You know what? Without the gore and blood and explicit sexual references, Freddy could be a Disney Villain himself. Its not like Disney hasn't towed the line before with perverted villains. >_> (Jafar and Frollo)

Jason and Pamela Voorhees: Mother Knows Best! Of course.

Jennifer Check: Love is For Peasants (Barbie Island Princess) Because Jennifer thinks like this:

Men? <<< Literally anything else.

Patrick Bateman: How Can I Refuse? (From Barbie Princess and the Pauper) XD If Patrick were a kids movie villain, he would totally join the ranks of corrupted usurpers pretending to be trustworthy royal advisory staff. Also ‘Let It Die’, that little interruption part of another song that O’Hare sings in the Lorax and ‘How Bad Can I be?’.

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what-breaks-my-heart · 3 years

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DanHwa Couple: Happy Ending versus Sad Ending

Note: I did plan to publish this post in conjunction with the last day of Run On Week when I came up with the idea for this post but I never thought this post would eventually be this long so I’m not going to ruin it for everyone 😂🙈

Previously, I’ve touched on the main theme of DanHwa’s storyline - goals & dreams.

Before I continue, I wish to extend my heartiest gratitude to @belsmultifandommess for taking my gif requests specifically so I could include them in this post ❤❤❤ You can click on “GIF by belsmultifandommess” to view the full sets from which the gifs I’ve included in this post were sourced. If you haven’t already, give some love to those beautiful gifsets.

This is going to be one hell of a long post so hydrate yourselves, get some snacks, prepare a box of tissues if you are a softie like me, and buckle up.

Previously in my series of write up on DanHwa storyline...

About Seo Dan Ah

Seo Dan Ah, Her Little Brother Seo Tae Woong, and A Planned Coup in Seomyung Group

Goals & Dreams - The Main Premise in the Live of Seo “Rapunzel” Dan Ah

Goals & Dreams - I Need You to Cooperate with Me

I have to be honest. The finale left me with so much feelings that made me struggle to understand how DanHwa’s storyline was concluded. There have been various takes on the conclusion of their storyline and I cannot totally disregard each of them because they do make sense in a way.

After seeing the preview for the finale, I did pose a question whether Young Hwa would agree to cooperate with Dan Ah’s potential goal to stop seeing each other, while still holding on to his dream of not breaking up with her.

As I was starting the finale, I saw the episode description on Netflix and giggled at how the storyline of DanHwa was described.

Mi-joo’s work gets a director noticed overseas. Yeong-hwa and Dan-ah achieve their own goals. Seon-gyeom officially becomes a sports agent.

Earlier, I did a write up about how Dan Ah was plotting a coup in Seomyung Group. Later in the finale, it was revealed that all along, she had been waiting for her father to pass away so she could take back what’s rightfully hers. I stand corrected. Dan Ah sweetie, I should have thought better than slandering you 🥺

True enough, she needed Tae Woong’s support in the coup, but she didn’t say the situation might call for him to turn against her because she wanted him to come clean about his paternity, but she said it because she knew how the bastard ‘older’ brother would blackmail Tae Woong into voting for him for the position of the successor in Seomyung Group by abusing his power and influence in Seomyung Group. I bet he was the one who started the rumour about Tae Woong’s paternity in order to control Tae Woong.

However, Dan Ah needed Tae Woong’s support as one of the major shareholders so that she could obtain enough support to be in a position of power in Seomyung Group. And thanks to his support, Dan Ah was promoted as the youngest Vice President of Seomyung Group. Yes, she was not yet wielding the power as the Chairwoman of Seomyung Group, but being a Vice President of Seomyung Group was itself a shorter-term goal, or a milestone towards achieving her dream of taking back what’s hers - her title as the rightful heiress of Seomyung Group.

Just like what Young Hwa - bless his young, optimistic yet immature self - told Dan Ah when she first came to his college after he kept crossing the line; if a dream seemed impossible to be achieved, focus instead on shorter-term goals while working towards chasing that dream.

By the way when I think of it, it was never made clear if the ‘older’ bastard son was appointed as President of Seomyung Group. Imagine if he was, because it wouldn’t be surprising, but he could never have things done his way because Dan Ah would keep having his ass handed to him by convincing the board room just how stupid his ways were.

Anyways, the way the story of DanHwa was concluded could be open to various interpretation, and I now believe it was intentionally done so. Why?

Exhibit 1

Young Hwa telling Dan Ah that his new goal was to watch her from a distance neither too far that he could not see her, nor too close that his field of vision would be blocked, so that he could always see her wherever he was.

He did so by asking her to just stay where she was. Of course the moment he said it, my alarms were buzzing because of how the story had compared her to Rapunzel living in a castle.

It was when Young Hwa looked “Seo Dan Ah” up on the internet when he later realised that he had forgotten how Dan Ah had been living in a castle that a peasant like him could never even dream of entering, since she was Rapunzel.

Exhibit 2

When Young Hwa and Dan Ah finally met again in front of his painting at the gallery, Dan Ah said that she was going to make that day to be her real birthday, before Young Hwa was finally able to wish her happy birthday.

These lines did seem rather out of place, but when I think more about it, it was Dan Ah cooperating with Young Hwa’s goal for both of them to celebrate her real birthday together.

This was in contrast to when she said her birthday was far away. This to me, seemed like both a literal and figurative remark.

In the literal sense, she was not sure at that point in time if they could still see each other when the day would eventually come.

Whereas in the figurative sense, celebrating her real birthday would symbolise a celebration of her successfully claiming her rightful title as the heiress of Seomyung Group - which seemed like a stretch to her at that time because she didn’t know about her father’s health condition.

But when they finally met again, she realised that there was someone who cherished her and kept her inside his radiant heart. And this person wanted to celebrate her real birthday with her because her being born was a miracle (just as other birth), because she was healthy, and because she was seeing him.

And he wanted to celebrate her real birthday with her as a way of expressing his gratitude to the heaven for all of these.

But ultimately, Young Hwa wanted to celebrate Dan Ah’s real birthday with her to get her heart in return.

And when Dan Ah decided to make the day they finally met again as her real birthday, it was symbolic that instead of obsessing over her dream of getting back her rightful title as the heiress of Seomyung Group which might require her staying in her castle, she finally gave her heart to Young Hwa, even though she was desperate to keep her heart intact due to her health condition. Maybe it’s just me but I think it’s poetic in a way.

And when she made the decision, it was symbolic to her accepting living with a fake birthday as long as someone truly cherishes her, because it may be fake, but her feeling was otherwise as real as it gets.

Exhibit 3

When the four besties met up and discussed about endings, Young Hwa told the group that his happy ending would be living well, giving birth to children like a rabbit with the person he loved (no joke that’s exactly what he said in Korean, hence the look of disgust on Dan Ah’s face).

And when he asked Dan Ah about what she wanted as her happy ending, he also asked if they could share the same happy ending, claiming their love would last forever (ah, the pure innocence of first loves).

Dan Ah then argued that she even faked a coming out to her family specifically because she did not want to get married, so sharing the same happy ending with Young Hwa like what he imagined would totally be out of the question.

Exhibit 4

DanHwa official Before poster

I’m sure many of us didn’t see this poster before the drama started airing. To be completely honest, I was not anticipating for this drama to air. There I was, minding my own business, when I saw gifs and screencaps from this drama’s first 2 episodes suddenly showing up on my dash. And then I read the usual caption spam by @dangermousie for those episodes and those caption spam actually piqued my interest.

You could see a sense of giddiness in this poster, as if they were playing a game of cat and mouse with each other. For those of you who don’t read hangul, the lines highlighted in this poster read as below:

“Don’t keep crossing the line.”

“But you came to see me because I crossed the line.”

DanHwa official After poster

And on the day the finale aired, JTBC released this official After poster. In this poster, both of them were portrayed to be lost in their own thoughts, no longer giddy and teasing each other.

Again, for those of you who don’t read hangul, there was only one line highlighted in this poster which reads:

“Don’t get sick, my first love.”

Special shoutout to @its-chelisey-stuff for highlighting the differences in these two posters in a post of its own.

Exhibit 5

After everything was said and done, the two of them kept hanging out together and seeing each other. They even went as each other’s plus one to the premier of Yook Ji Woo’s movie, Killing Day. And it was a public setting where people could gossip about them going together too, so it was clear she was not bothered by the possibility of people gossiping about it.

So with these 5 exhibits, it was clear that the drama was intentionally sending us viewers mixed signals about the conclusion of the story of DanHwa. But what exactly should we take from this intention?

Now, let’s talk about Young Hwa. Our precious little crybaby goof ball. We’ve seen lots of movies (or Young Hwa (영화), geddit??) with happy endings. Some gave us sad endings, but those sad endings were not unrealistic.

Throughout the drama, we could see the growth of both Dan Ah and Young Hwa since they first met each other.

In the beginning, Young Hwa told Dan Ah that he was too busy with what was in front of him (life of a college student coming from a small town in the rural area) that he never got to have a dream. When he finally had one, i.e., to not break up with Dan Ah, he gave her the assurance that he would make that dream comes true. He even tried delaying their breakup as soon as he realised that she would be breaking up with him. Not breaking up with Dan Ah was Young Hwa’s first dream ever, but he eventually learnt how hard it was to chase his dream.

But going back to the episode description, why did Netflix say that both Young Hwa and Dan Ah achieved their own goals? I’ve argued earlier in this post how Dan Ah’s appointment as the youngest Vice President of Seomyung Group could fit in this narrative. Young Hwa’s goal to keep watching Dan Ah from a distance neither too far nor too close could arguably fit in this narrative too.

I know, I know, the irony of me spending so much time thinking and talking about the ending is clear to me. But to me, the whole story of DanHwa was cleverly concluded. If we go back to episode 7, Dan Ah expressed her regret that she let go of her dream to play professional soccer (I much prefer the word ‘football’ but Koreans use the word ‘soccer’ so I’m sticking to it for consistency purpose) so easily and that she was still looking forward to having chances to kick the ball every now and then.

Later on, Dan Ah disclosed to Young Hwa how desperate she was to make time for her to go running to him despite time being of utmost importance to her, and how she desperately wanted to grab onto the little time she managed to make to be with him.

We also saw how despite being so desperate, she had initially tried to resist her urges to just run to him. Because to her, she could not afford to be distracted from running towards her dream. But she eventually ran towards him and gave in to her feeling nonetheless, albeit timing herself so she wouldn’t forget about her dream altogether.

I personally believe that their relationship would keep on going the same way it had been going - them chasing after their own individual goals, them cooperating with each other to make sure their individual goals would be achieved, Young Hwa keeping Dan Ah deep inside his heart with more subtlety just like how his painting evolved from a big drawing of Dan Ah to the silhouette of Dan Ah hiding in his painting which was displayed in Seomyung Art Gallery, while Dan Ah grabbing onto what little opportunity she would have to spend her time with Young Hwa, even if it was only for a short, sweet moment.

They might live the rest of their lives together, or they might not. But what Run On managed to tell me is we should not be too obsessed with our endings which may or may not be far away from us. Instead, we should focus on what’s right in front of us.

Instead of obsessing over our dreams and happy endings which may demotivate us if we keep stumbling onto boulders while chasing our dreams and happy endings, we should focus on shorter-term goals. Because who knows what great opportunities and sweet moments are standing right in front of us, waiting to be grabbed, if only we allow ourselves to cherish them and in return, being cherished ourselves.

And that to me, is the biggest takeaway from the story of DanHwa.

#jtbc run on #run on #kdrama #kdrama opinion #long post #kang tae oh #sooyoung #well when I said this is going to be a long post I really meant it

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kiwikey · 3 years

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ur babies as disney princesses?

omo yes 🥺🥺 my babies would be such lovely disney princesses ! (tho i had to add other characters as well bcz i have too many babies)

@xenjinwoo as Snow White, the most caring human this planet's ever been blessed with

@t-toodumbtocare as Aurora as she's enchantingly kind and ugh i love her so damn much (may i mention she's an awake beauty ;) )

@jakeycore as Anna <3 bcz she's lovable and cheerful

@donghanies as Cinderella because she's got a heart of gold

@wevebbon as Ariel, she's a happy, creative person, and she's got a sense of naiveness which makes me love her even more

@taerytales as Tinker bell because my little baby's a fairy for sure

@lost-leopard-beanie as Tiana, the ever positive and candid angel who i can turn to for advice

@riki-zone as Rapunzel, i see her as a happy, comforting person, who gets excited over the cutest little things

@heephoriia as Merida for sure ! she's both super brave and fearless !

@honeyseungz as Moana, because the determination and creativity they possess is worth learning !

@ofaffectionate as Jasmine as she's the most passionate and hardworking human i've ever known, along with her maternal instincts

@ashfire295 as Jessie (the toy story cowgirl) because they're adorable

@whiteprincessofnohr as Mulan bcz she's fierce (🔥) and i see her as a queen tbh

@yukh3ic0re as Elsa, the cool, chilled, icy queen who's exceptionally warm to me ;)

@berrysungie as Belle because they are nice and sweet to everyone, no matter what

@angelhee as Minnie Mouse as she's fun to be with her, along with her hilarious personality

@sunghoonight-x as Silvermist because you're calm, sweet and easygoing ! (and i see you as a fairy <3)

@taemin-jaemin as Pocahontas because i just.. see a spark of fearlessness and determination in her way too often

@mochiable as Iridessa as i see hia as a perceptive, smart and detail oriented perfectionist fairy !

oh and a prince (more like a male fairy) as well :

@daech-witless as Peter Pan because he's a troublemaker but all of us dote on him 🥺

#bibi’s replies #nonnie bubbie #bibi’s babies

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theparanormalperiodical · 3 years

Text

The REAL Story Behind The Crooked Man And The 7 Other Fairy Tales & Nursery Rhymes With *Even More* Disturbing Backstories

It was 4 years ago that we first met the Crooked Man.

With a *sickening* reveal via rottweiler fit for the latest season of Rupaul’s Drag Race, the suited gentleman staggered his way from The Conjuring 2 (2016) into our nightmares.

But his ashy undertones, gnashing teeth, and general aura of “I’m a demon, or something, which means I have no real motive apart from wanting to kill you” isn’t the only thing that fits the film far too well.

The Conjuring universe is the definition of ‘based on a true story’. And the Crooked Man fits the brief.

In the opening scenes of the film we see lovable and bulliable Billy stutter through a nursery rhyme:

There was a crooked man, and he went a crooked mile, He found a crooked sixpence against a crooked stile; He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse, And they all liv'd together in a little crooked house.

Accompanied by a totally-cursed-i-mean-just-look-at-it zoetrope (it’s a bit like a mini projector that shows you a moving cartoon), Billy introduces us to one of the handful of extra entities terrorising London’s most haunted house. You can discover more about the true story of 284 Green Street which inspired The Conjuring 2 here.

But Billy also introduces us to a real nursery rhyme inherent in British culture - and British history.

Yes, the nursery rhyme, like many, is based on dark and twisted reality softened for a bedtime story. And amongst this history was a real person. Unfortunately, the Crooked Man is not the only fairy tale monster or nursery rhyme entity that will be haunting your dreams.

Are y’all tucked in?

The Crooked Man

The nursery rhyme was first told sometime in the 17th century during the reign of King Charles I. But the Crooked Man was not the Stuart King - it was allegedly inspired by Scottish general Sir Alexander Leslie and the covenant he signed.

The covenant secured religious and political freedom for Scotland despite prevailing animosity between the English and the Scottish.

The crooked stile is the awkward alliance between the two parliaments and the crooked house refers to the collective union the Scottish and English lived together in. But the ‘crooked’ part works on another level, too.

The great recoinage of late 17th century meant sixpences - which feature in the rhyme - were made of very thin silver and thus easy to bend.

An alternative origins story links it back to Lavenham, a village in Suffolk (England). The half-timbered houses leaned at off angles as if supporting each other, creating a crooked aesthetic that matches the nursery rhyme.

The Pied Piper Of Hamelin

I distinctly remember hearing the story of the Pied Piper when I was about 7 years old. I was there, sat crossed-legged on the wooden floor in assembly and listening to the headteacher tell us the tale of the musical maverick with an overhead projector.

I remember it being far more nostalgic and not so traumatising.

The story goes that sometime in the 13th century a peculiar man dressed in brightly-coloured clothes (pied clothing) was hired by the town to rid them of the rats with his pipe-playing abilities. Hamelin had been suffering from an infestation that would threaten the locals with the plague. The piper was to play his pipe, entice the rats with his magical music, and lead them to a river where they would promptly drown.

He was hired and he did the job - but they didn’t pay up.

The piper couldn’t exactly refund his services. Instead, he sought vengeance, luring away the children of the town with his magical pipe. He waited until Saint John and Paul’s day where the adults would be in the church, dressed in green like a hunter, and played his pipe. The children of the village swarmed to him, all 130 of them, following him out of the town and into a cave. Three were unable to follow due to being blind and deaf and thus told the villagers what had happened.

The real story:

Some versions of the story claimed he made them walk into a river, others claim he returned them after payment. But what we do know for sure is that there is a street in Hamelin called Bungelosenstrasse. On this street - ‘the street without drums’ according to translation - the children were seen last. No music and no dancing is allowed on this road.

Bluebeard

We open on a typical Medieval scene: a powerful and wealthy man is looking for a young wife to replace the last one who mysteriously went missing. Bluebeard’s been through quite a few women, actually, but it’s his latest bae that stars in this story. Bluebeard marries his neighbour’s daughter and goes on a business trip.

He tells her he can stay alone in their house but she cannot open a certain door.

Of course, she opens the door and finds the corpses of his ex-wives. Her and her sisters band together to kill Bluebeard, showering themselves with a wealthy inheritance.

The real story:

This tragic tale of murder and mystery is unfortunately all too true.

There are many alleged origins of the folktale. Let’s start with the Medieval ruler of Brittany, Conomor the Cursed: his new wife agreed to marry him to prevent him from invading her father’s lands but accidentally walked in on a room full of his dead, old wives. She was visited by their ghosts who warn him if she falls pregnant, he will kill her, preventing a prophecy that claims he will be killed by his own son.

She gets knocked up, gives birth, and then she gets her block knocked off.

An alternative inspiration could be a similarly brutal figure: Gilles de Rais (15th century). He was accused of murdering approximately 140 children who suddenly went missing in the Nantes countryside. He was condemned to death and executed in 1440.

Snow White

It’s one of the most popular fairytales of all time.

The story goes that a queen gives birth to a baby girl but dies in childbirth. The king’s new wife is wicked and vain, asking her magic mirror ‘who is the fairest one of all?’ on a daily basis. When the child turns seven, the mirror changes its answer from the queen to the child, Snow White (yeah, that’s weird). The queen hires a huntsman to kill Snow White, but she begs for mercy and says she will live in the woods and he can pretend he killed her.

She finds shelter in a cottage belonging to seven dwarfs who agree to let her stay as a maid until the evil queen asks the mirror her favourite question. It claims Snow White is still alive and the fairest of them all. She goes through several methods of attempting to kill Snow until she falls into a deep coma. The dwarfs host a funeral, a prince comes along, and he, uhhh, kisses what he assumed to be a corpse and she is awakened.

They then get hitched but don’t invite the queen to the wedding. The queen asks the mirror yet again the identity of the fairest, assuming Snow is well and truly deceased but the mirror breaks the bad news to her again. The queen tries to kill her once more but Snow’s hubby forces her to wear red-hot iron slippers and dance in them until she dies.

There’s a lot going on here.

But rather than unpacking everything that's wrong with all of this *gestures to everything*, let’s just get to the dark reality beneath it all.

The real story:

The inspiration is generally deemed to be Margaretha von Walbeck, a young woman who had a terrible relationship with her stepmother. She was forced to move to Brussels and fell in love with Phillip II of Spain, a romance not popular with her parents.

Suddenly, however, Margaretha died. Rumour has it she was poisoned.

Another detail of her life also links her to Snow White: her father’s copper mines were often filled with child labourers whose growth was stunted by working in them, mirroring the ‘dwarves’ in the story.

But Margaretha is not the only contender: Maria Sophia Margaretha Catharina Freifräulein von Erthal *inhale* also hated her stepmother. This - and the fact that her stepmother was given a mirror as a gift by her husband - also ties her to Snow White.

Hansel And Gretel

It’s possibly the most simple fairy tale up for discussion: a brother and sister are sent out to the woods by their father. The mother asked for him to send them away so they can survive a famine. But Hansel uses stones to trace their steps back home. One day, however, he uses crumbs. They get eaten by the local wildlife, so the kids get lost.

They then discover a witch's house, a gingerbread cottage. She lures ‘em in, fattens up Hansel, and prepares to feast on his flesh. The kids plot against her, throw her in the oven, and steal her stuff before heading back to live with their father.

Okay, so maybe this one isn’t based on a true story. It’s based on true stories. Yep - plural.

The real story:

Child abandonment and infanticide was pretty common during plagues, famines, and all other circumstances of poverty. In fact, this particular tale is believed to come from the Great Famine which stretched across Europe from 1315 to 1317. Child abandonment surged during this time.

Rapunzel

Turns out Disney lopped off a lot of Rapunzel’s real story to make it a family friendly movie. Yep, this is a weird one.

A pregnant woman begins to crave a kind of salad leaf (Campanula rapunculus, also called rapunzel) in the garden of the house next door. He goes out to nick it but is caught by the homeowner - a witch. She says he can take the rapunzel, but in return he must give her the child once it is born.

The witch raises Rapunzel as her own but locks her away in a tower when she is 12 to protect her from the outside world.

A prince eventually rocks up and decides to climb her immensely long hair. Unknown, probably PG-13 and probably not consensual acts happen. Still, given it's the medieval era they agree to get hitched after escaping.

The witch discovers her plan, cuts off her hair, exiles Rapunzel, and uses the locks as bait for the prince before throwing him to the briar roses below where he is promptly blinded. Rapunzel gives birth to twins and the prince finds her, identifying her only by her voice. Her tears restore his voice.

The real story:

Being kidnapped or being kept hidden away from the rest of the world is pretty common, well, all of the time. But Saint Barabara, a Greek saint, was the main inspiration for the tale.

She was locked away in a tower in Turkey in the third century by her father in an attempt to protect her Christianity. But her Pagan father’s efforts did not succeed and she discovered the ways of Jesus. She escaped but she was eventually caught by her father who then tortured and beheaded her.

Religious intolerance, y’all.

Beauty And The Beast

Time for another Disney classic with a heavily edited plotline.

The father of a family seeks shelter in a grand palace during a storm. In the morning before he leaves he takes a rose from the garden but is caught by a beast who threatens to kill him for nicking a flower. But the beast agrees not to kill him if his daughter takes his place instead.

The daughter moves to the palace but asks to go see her family for a week. She is then convinced by her sisters to stay at home. A magic mirror then reveals the beast is dying because she isn’t with him. She returns to him and her love breaks the curse that makes him appear so monstrous.

The real story:

Petrus Gonsalvus (1637-1618) was born with hypertrichosis. This meant he had a thick layer of hair all over his body - his physical difference didn’t go down very well. He was kept as a ‘wild man’ in a cage and fed raw meat.

When he was 10 years old he was gifted to the king of france. But he wasn’t kept as a ‘beast’. He was educated like a nobleman and was taught to read, write, and speak three different languages. He was then married off to the daughter of a court servant.

He was married to her for over 40 years and they had seven children together.

(Aww.)

Three Blind Mice

Three blind mice, three blind mice, See how they run, see how they run, They all ran after the farmer’s wife, Who cut off their tails with a carving knife, Did you ever see such a thing in your life, As three blind mice?

The real story:

It's one of those nursery rhymes you grow up with - and 17 years later you realise how traumatic it actually is.

This nursery rhyme can be traced back to the reign of Bloody Mary (16th century) who had a tricky relationship with Protestants. And by that I mean she burnt them alive, hence the nickname.

The three blind mice represented three Protestant bishops who may have been blinded before their execution or spiritually blind for following Catholicism. Another reference to Queen Mary was her as a farmer’s wife.

Her husband, Philip of Spain, owned several estates and thus was technically a farmer.

Welp, there goes your childhood.

If you liked this post go on and like and reblog. Go on, share your love for my amazing talents with the world!

And if you want to read an article about the paranormal every weekend then you best be hitting follow!

See you next week, kiddos. Sleep tight.

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annaofthenorthernlights · 3 years

Text

It´s your life

Chapter 4 Thrill

A short drop of a sweet Kristanna surprising trip (Modern AU)

Rating for this chapter: M (some little sexual occasion for the start)

Word counting: 2070

Previous chapters (on AO3)

Note: This chapter was so much fun to write - hope you enjoy! 😊

Summary: This trip turns out to be the surprise of the century to Anna – and Kristoff´s as well… He hadn´t thought in his dreams of the outcome but plays along for Anna. Wouldn´t he do anything for her…? 😊

Anna woke up early, unusual for her – but then, she had been so excited and had swayed between waking and sleeping. There was still time to nap. So, she would snug her blankets cosily around her, ravishing in the realisation of where she was, where they were! Kristoff had turned towards her, still asleep, so relaxed, so peaceful.

Ah, he had been such a charm last night. They had cuddled and started to watch some comedy movie (yes, the pioneer-room did accommodate a TV!), but then had fallen asleep, tired from the drive and all.

Anna thought of how lucky she was and how blessed she felt to found herself with a boyfriend of such integrate and truthful character. He deserved all the best in the world. If only she could prove to be the perfect match just for that reason. At least, she could try to return her love and gratefulness the best she could. And a flick of thought crossed her mind, sending a warm feeling down her body. She knew, what good deed she could offer.

Anna huddled herself a bit closer to Kristoff, and softly kissed his cheek, all the while running a tender hand along his neck and shoulder, and down his upper arm. He had his eyes closed, but his arm would reach out and over her waist. Anna shifted herself comfortably, just to move her hand along his ribcage beneath the blanket and down to his hips. She squeezed the muscular sides of his upper thighs and then moved along to give her beloved a tender stroke along his still relaxed manhood. The young woman smiled when her man opened lazily eyes and responded with a grin, “good morning beautiful. Up to some mischief already?”

“Sorry for waking you up,” she whispered.

“No, you´re not.” He remarked drowsy, but pulled her closer, while Anna increased her massage, the result of a hardening cock within her palm pleasing her, giving her some thrills in return. She would pull at the hem band of Kristoff´s pyjama shorts to free him of the fabric, just to continue her morning greeting.

By now, Kristoff was fully awake, getting active himself. He caressed her breast, tenderly encircling her nipple with his thumb, while he moved his other hand around her neck into her hair. He leaned in to kiss her tentatively first, just to increase the pressure of his lips.

Anna loved those passionate moments, even if they couldn´t get coital as she had hoped for. But the gift of loving hands was a thrill that must be cherished just as it was. A moment of close intimacy, being there for each other. So, she happily continued her loving stroke, sensing the pulsating excitement within his hard and throbbing cock, while Kristoff caressed her breast. And it would never fail to fascinate them both that they moved in the same rhythm, like a fine-tuned duet, right up to the moment of his release. And for some even more fascinating reason, feeling his relief would send a shiver down to her centre, like she was sensing an orgasm herself.

***

When they left their room for breakfast, Anna was that excited, she nearly skipped along the way.

Kristoff decided to share her enthusiasm like a new experience. She had shown so much interest for his stuff, he could afford a day of illusional and fictive characters hopping and dancing around him, and occasionally being asked to hug an oversized bunny, bear, mouse, or even that crazy snowman, who loved hugs above all since that famous Disney movie was out a few months ago… what was it called again?

They had nearly finished their breakfast, when a man came up to their table and asked if he could talk to them for a moment. He introduced himself as Mathias, head of the artistic program. Kristoff and Anna exchanged a puzzled look, shrugging and then turning to wait for Mathias to continue. The waitress brought a coffee for the man and he would tell them his concern.

“You remember Honeymaren, your waitress last night?” They nodded.

“Well, I was glad she rang me up. You two seem the perfect couple I was desperately looking for.” Another puzzled look. Mathias would explain.

“I guess, you know that there will be a parade at midday, and then againg to bid the guests farewell before closing time early evening?” They nodded.

“Now, there is my problem. We have a scheduled cast for this part of program. There are the “active” show-people, like dancers and artists, and there are the “passive” participants, like the characters driving the carts or standing on the platforms. There is this one cart, where my scheduled couple for this weekend is prevented of attending. She had an accident and remains in the hospital till next week, while he got a call and had to leave for some family urgency. I can´t reach the other staff that´s on the list and then last night, Honeymaren called me up to have the perfect people at her table. The amazing thing is. You two don´t even need any wigs or great make up – you guys look like dropped right out of the movie.”

Another puzzled look.

“I ask you to join in for today and tomorrow. All you must do, is to sit on that sled and smile, wave to the people and act friendly with each other. If you agree, I will see to it that you get this whole weekend for free and a little honorary would be paid as well. So, what you say?”

Kristoff and Anna exchanged another bewildered look. Kristoff narrowed his eyes, while Anna´s eyes widened with excitement. He could literally read her mind… So, he just had to make sure one thing.

“And you say, we only have to sit on whatsoever and smile and wave at people?”

Mathias nodded enthusiastically, “yes – and “act friendly” with each other.”

Ah well then… Even if he had been asked, he couldn´t have thought of a better surprise for her than such a… surprise…

So, what movie would they be part of?

“Frozen”

***

He felt silly, but he wouldn´t admit it aloud, because he didn´t want to ruin it for Anna.

Gosh, she looked so pretty in that blue dress, black bodice and purple cape and ear warmers, and then those blue mittens. Genuinely like that snow queen’s princessherself!

Anna had stood mouth agape when she had spotted Kristoff. He looked stunning in that northern mountain man outfit. Simply hot!

They got seated on this oversized sledge, that would move on hidden wheels, with this gigantic reindeer placed in the front. Behind them there sat an over dimensional snowman, Olaf, grinning broadly down on them. Right before their sled there was another waggon, with a huge sort of ice castle on top of it. On its platform there stood the ice queen herself. Right now, she stood facing them, laughing, and waving, with a mischievous grin on her face. Honeymaren! She was casted for that role for the midday parade, while in the evening she worked in the Casino. Anna had bounced like a child around the Christmas tree when they got introduced to their queen.

Then the parade´s trail started to move. They were somewhere in the middle of the row, so there was still some time to observe the ongoing in front of them.

Kristoff couldn´t help but admit, that the moment was prickling with all the people cheering at them. For sure, no one would believe him. The excitement lay within the air. Anna was so happy. She beamed and giggled, bounced on her seat next to him, all close and her arm in his. She was completely lavishing in the moment of this dream. When Kristoff looked at her, he couldn´t help but smile and lay his arm around her. Mathias had said that they should act friendly with each other. No problem, he could do this. He wouldn´t care about people watching and bend down to pull her close into a passionate kiss. The public roared with cheers for the beloved princess and her ice master hero of the latest movie hit!

Little did they know that today´s celebration was recorded by TV channels because of the opening of the newest resort´s section.

****

While Elsa sat with Runeard Rendelle over the agenda of upcoming meetings, Rosa, their housemaid, came running into the library. “Miss Rendelle! Please, you must come and see!”

Rosa had put on the TV in the kitchen and had stumbled over the news of reopening Disneyland´s newest section. The parade was just on and when she had spotted some special cart, she had not trusted her eyes.

Elsa stared at the screen and meanwhile had fumbled for a chair to sit down.

It could not be. Dear God, no, that could not be. That must be some people with an outstanding masking, hairstylist or whatsoever. But when the princess smiled into the just zooming in camera, all unknowing of being filmed, Elsa recognised her sister´s smiling eyes. It hit the elder sister, that the younger looked so genuinely happy. The sight was of short durance, when the camera zoomed back in further distance and at the same time, the blond man sitting next to her bend down to kiss Anna full heartedly.

Rosa gasped aloud, exclaiming excitedly, “Oh mi, que romantico!”

Elsa still stared at the screen, then at Rosa, and back at the screen. Meanwhile the camera had taken focus on Rapunzel and Eugene, who walked happily together, hopping to the people standing close by along the alley.

“What was that?”

Elsa startled at the voice behind her and turned sharply around to see her grandfather standing in the doorway. He had followed her and had seen it all, though not understanding where and what this scene meant to be.

***

The evening before she had tried to explain to Runeard Rendelle about Anna´s whereabout without being to specific of where Kristoff had taken her. Her grandfather still disliked the idea of his granddaughter befriending a less fortunate, like this man.

He would not hear anymore of it and said that Elsa would not need to defend her sister. He would deal with her in his ways. For the time being of the dinner´s event, they would tell their guests that Anna was “mentally” absorbed and didn´t feel well, all exaggerated before exams. She would be fit to show herself to them after the turmoil of passing with merit. That, he was convinced, everyone would understand.

Now, he was just furious. He could have dealt with Anna´s silliness of running around with a good-looking young man, that treated her like a princess. But acting and dressing up like a fairy tale girl within a bunch of fantasy characters… Who did she think she was?

Elsa tried to calm him down and remark that there must for sure be some reasonable explanation.

Again, he wouldn´t hear any of it and demanded Elsa to leave him alone. He then picked up the phone and started dialling a number. Elsa was still standing there, when her grandfather motioned her with a snack of his head that she should leave the room now.

Elsa turned to go and when she closed the door behind her she just overheard him calling his friend´s name. The family solicitor.

***

The parade would take about an hour to last for the whole tour. There would still be plenty of time to explore the parc once they had peeled themselves out of the costumes in the staff sector. Honeymaren had come up to them before, apologising for her “secret attack”. Anna had laughed and joked that next time, she would bring her sister along and then, she could join Honeymaren on the cart!

Mathias had shown up, congratulating, and thanking them once more for their jumping in. Everything was arranged and they´d be handed a pay-check at the reception of their hotel.

Anna was still exaggerated with the adrenalin running through her when they moved on towards the public alleys.

Kristoff grinned and stretched, feeling a great relief for having redressed in his jeans and comfy shirt.

“So then, my princess, what´s next on your plan?”

Anna grinned up at him, flinging her arms around his neck for a brief and sheepish kiss.

“Splash Mountain!”

#Frozen fanfiction #fanfic Modern AU #Kristanna fanfiction #Kristoff #Anna #Surprise trip to Disneyland #more surprises...#thrilling surprise #mine #got so excited myself...

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garden-of-thestars · 2 years

Text

This post will prove that I have no impulse control— but anyways! I have these twst oc previews for new upcoming ocs because I just wanted to create characters based on what I like so these ocs are self indulgent in a way. I will make another post because I have a fandorm as well in the works (and oof, it's now two fandorms because yeah: one based on The Great Mouse Detective and the other based on Toy Story 3). Hope you enjoy these previews! Note: Some of them don't have last names because I haven't gotten to that.

NRC Students

Gavin Gibson

School: Night Raven College

Year: 2nd Year

Dorm: Heartslabyul

Twisted From: Gaby Gaby (Toy Story 4)

"I don't think I've seen you before. Is it your first time in NRC? Well then, hello there newcomer! The name's Gavin Gibson!"

Benjamin

School: Night Raven

Year: 1st Year

Dorm: Heartslabyul

Twisted From: The Bensons (Toy Story 4)

"..."

Samson

School: Night Raven College

Year: 1st Year

Dorm: Heartslabyul

Twisted from: The Bensons (Toy Story 4)

"..."

Callahan Romeldale

School: Night Raven College

Year: 3rd Year

Dorm: Octavinelle

Twisted From: Dawn Bellwether (Zootopia)

"Oh dear... Clumsy me! I'm terribly sorry for the intrusion! I'm just so distracted with studies and responsibilities that I forgot people walked here."

RSA Students

Elouan

School: Royal Swords Academy

Year: 3rd Year

Twisted From: Cinderella

"Hm, I seem to be late... I apologize for that. I volunteered to stay back and reorganize some of the books at the library since I couldn't just let another fellow student do it alone. He seems to enjoy them a lot."

Anson Verdell

School: Royal Swords Academy

Year: 3rd Year

Twisted From: Esmeralda (The Hunchback of Notre Dame)

"Are you perhaps lost? Hm, that's alright. I'll help you out the best I can. Where is it that you're heading? I know this whole school in and out, so it won't be hard to find where you're going, okay?"

Simon Parker

School: Royal Swords Academy

Year: 2nd Year

Twisted From: Jane (Tarzan)

"Ack! Oh, I'm sorry! I wasn't looking while taking a stroll so this is all my fault. I do hope I can make it up. The sketch? Ah! Yes, I was taking notes on the birds around the area over there. Would you like to see?"

Solaris

School: Royal Swords Academy

Year: 3rd Year

Twisted From: Rapunzel (Tangled)

"Let's see, we can bake some treats, paint a scenery, try a new hobby, knitting... Oh that can be good! I already know how to make mittens and such but embroidery is on another level!"

Cane Saccharose

School: Royal Swords Academy

Year: 2nd Year

Twisted From: Vanellope von Schweetz (Wreck-It-Ralph)

"Sheesh! Who would've thought those things would pack such a punch! Exhilarating! Huh? Oh yeah, I kinda snatched one of these from those NRC dudes. Psh! Don't worry, I'll give em back!"

Lumen

School: Royal Swords Academy

Year: 2nd Year

Twisted From: Giselle (Enchanted)

"Oh wow, what a wonderful sight! The Culture Festival never ceases to amaze me! I wonder what new experiences await this year. Maybe we can make new friends during this whole event!"

Volpone

School: Royal Swords Academy

Year: 2nd Year

Twisted From: Tod (The Fox and the Hound)

"Whoa! Sorry there! I'm just in a hurry— Whoops! It's looks like they're real upset. Heh heh... Uh, sorry again! Gotta go!"

RSA Staff

Monica Nightingale

School: Royal Swords Academy

Occupation: School Counselor/Detention Supervisor

Twisted From: Mary Poppins

"I took notice that you're struggling in a particular class. Do you want to express any struggles you have in it? If so, we can work through this. But remember, you are responsible for your own growth and road to self betterment."

#[gardentalks]

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currywaifu · 4 years

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𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: barbie movies as troupe plays part 1 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw

𝐚𝐧: if you think i won’t do all 36 barbie movies, you’re wrong. regardless of whether people want this or not. i have barbie brainrot 24/7. i’m just separating it into parts so it’s not too long *this isn’t meant to be that serious y’all my reasons vary from legit to just jokes

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥: i won’t go in-depth with any plot differences from movie to play, or how the characters would work out... for now *chuckles in future ppt*

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏: nutcracker, rapunzel, swan lake, princess and the pauper, fairytopia series, magic of pegasus, barbie diaries, island princess, three musketeers 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐: coming soon 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟑: coming soon

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: mixed troupe! spring x autumn. one of the seasonal events/scouts for A3! has a nutcracker theme, and to avoid spoilers that’s all i will say :3

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: since this is based on barbie’s take on the nutcracker, changing up the cast from what tsuzuru had in plan:

clara/sugarplum fairy: sakuya. i want to see him go through a costume & hair transformation sequence, not gonna lie.

nutcracker/prince eric: juza. obviously he has to be the ruler of the land of sweets.

mouse king: sakyo or chikage. i want one of them to wave around a sceptre and say quotes like “i’ll reduce the Nutcracker to a pile of splinters"

pimm: taichi... pimm is a spy :O who has to do dirty work :O but the real reason is i just want taichi to follow around sakyo again or maybe even chikage this time lol

major mint & captain candy: tsuzuru and citron respectively. mint is pretty serious and awkward, candy is a lot friendlier- i just think it’ll be a good way to insert some humor in the play

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: mixed troupe! summer x autumn.

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: rapunzel in this one actually is the “servant” of gothel. also, rapunzel has a magical paint brush and also there’s dragons. who are purple.

rapunzel: kazunari. obviously. actually, kazu has a lot of similarities with her: a good artist, patient, adventurous, quick thinking, hardly ever complains- also he’d look good with long hair i think ><

gothel: omi. there is an action fighto scene + also just the theme of omi playing villains lol... also THERE’S A SCENE WHERE GOTHEL PRETENDS TO BE RAPUNZEL BY WEARING A LONG WIG AND BOI- KAZU AND OMI’S BODY BUILDS ARE SO DIFFERENT BUT IT’D BE FUNNY IF THE PRINCE FALLS FOR THE TRAP ANYWAY

penelope: kumon. a PURPLE funny and clumsy dragon- fight me, the only answer is kumon especially once you see who’s next.

hugo: juza. a PURPLE dragon who’s penelope’s dad but he’s gonna be the older bro in this one (i wonder why...)

hobie: a passive and worrisome rabbit... Tenma.

prince stefan: he also has a couple fight scenes... ngl bc stefan has blue eyes, light brown hair + described by the wiki as “fierce”, he’s banri.

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: winter troupe. i will stand by this forever.

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: this is like one of the ones i’ve had figured out for a while already...

odette & odile: tsumugi. i’m just saying, tsumugi’s duality- he can do both the white and black swan because he has power. impact.

prince daniel: not tasuku bc spare him the prince roles he’s sick of it. guy. why guy? because he obviously has a good idea of how to act like a prince :3

rothbart: HOMARE! I WANT! THIS MAN! TO PLAY THE ANTOGONIST! GO OFF ABOUT DARK ARTS! TRANSFORM EVERYONE TO ANIMALS LIKE THE EXTRA BEING YOU ARE.

fairy queen: azuma. ugh just- imagining how ethereal he’d look.

erasmus: tasuku. he’s a troll that can act mean, but is genuinely kind and helpful... also, the VA of erasumus is also the VA for “unnamed burly villager” and i’m just saying-

kelly the cygnet: hisoka. there’s too many animal children, so hisoka is gonna be the baby swan. uwu. also, kelly has a quote, “I can't sleep.” and wOW THE IRONY

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: WE’RE GOING FOR THE COMEDIC ROUTE WHAT’S UP SUMMER. reason: i went “wait... no actor really looks super alike though.”

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: tafahfuoahoaf it’s my favourite barbie movie... OKAY SO THE RUNNING GAG OF THIS IS THAT THE PRINCESS & PAUPER DON’T LOOK ALIKE, BUT EVERYONE KEEPS GOING “Wow! you two look so identical!” no they don’t

anneliese: muku. first of all please look at the sprite i used in the header. anneliese = pink = muku. she’s the sweet princess archetype... but in this version she also goes on tangents about rocks and mineraLS AND HOW THE MINING INDUSTRY SUX AND THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY OF-

erika: kumon. first of all, the sprite in the header again. erika = blue like ugh this is perfect. ALSO erika has a cat who BARKS and i just imagine kumon talking to her cat like: WOOF WOOF WOOF GRRR GRRR and the dog responding and everyone in the palace going wtf

king dominick: i had such a crush on him anyway he’s tenma. rich, young, talented king who disguises himself as a page so he can find love for realsies. im just saying. he won’t be tenma’s only role tho ><

julian: kazunari. the wiki went “he’s the only bestfriend a barbie MC ever married” really shook me like ugh friendship dynamic between muku and kazu roles??? also kazu’s genuinely smart so him as the tutor was just gucci in my eyes

preminger: misumi. FIRST OF ALL PREMINGER IS ICONIC? WHEN HE SANG HOW CAN I REFUSE I WAS LIKE UGH KING. i just wanna hear misumi play an antagonist that’s also funny and do things with his voice.

madame carp: yuki. a bossy and rich woman who owns a dress emporium. pretty much it.

nick & nack: YUKI AND TENMA. THEY WILL DOUBLE ROLE FOR THE SAKE OF BEING MISUMI’S DUMB UNDERLING DUO

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: spring troupe. i wanna see them have wings uwu.

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: just gonna combine the whole fairytopia series into one

elina: itaru. first of all, pink motif. also i just like the idea of itaru being this recurring protagonist.

bibble the puffball played by kamekichi

laverna: recurring villain citron. for no reason other than i think it’s cool when he plays power hungry villains

enchantress: i just want sakuya to play a role that’s more of a “powerful character” but still really kind uwu. another recurring good guy.

azura & glee: tsuzuru. elina is azura’s apprentice, and glee is a friend who’s generally really happy... ngl, i wanna see tsuzuru play someone more energetic for funsies

nori: masumi. nori is kind of a stubborn and jealous person at first, him and elina won’t get along right away BUT DAMMIT THE ENEMIES? TO FRIENDS IS GUCCI!!!

merman prince nalu & linden: chikage... yeah i just gave chikage the guy roles ngl... but i wanna see chikage as a handsome merman AND handsome fairy so *shrugs*

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: cross troupe. spring x winter.

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: partially based on the ice-skating cards (i have yet to read the event story, unfortunately).

annika: tsuzuru. i thought it’d be fun to cast tsuzuru as a more sheltered character due to annika’s parents’ protectiveness. the contrast y’all.

shiver: sakuya. shiver is a polar bear cub sidekick who’s friendly and likes shiny things and that’s just... really cute... put bear ears on sakuya...

brietta: guy. brietta is annika’s older sister... who got transformed into a pegasus by the villain... i wonder how they’d change the pegasus thing lol

wenlock: tasuku. NOT GONNA LIE- i want tasuku to play the villain for all these wonderful one-liners: "Oh, smile! You didn't lose a daughter; you've gained a pet!", and "I thank my lucky stars I didn't marry you!"

prince aidan: masumi bc i want more roomie interaction on stage i mean their friendship keeps getting cuter and cuter.

cloud queen: azuma... that’s all. i just remembered her bc her hair has a braided crown, and i went “azuma braided hair brainrot”

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: mixed troupe! summer x autumn.

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: i was gonna make it full autumn, but then the age casting felt awkward since they’re in high school...

barbie: taichi. barbie here is shy but wants to stop blending in the background! i just went “damn that do be resonating”. also i wanna hear taichi sing more y’all and barbie is a singer/guitarist here

courtney: azami. i like the idea of azami playing a spunky character who’s more of a tomboy, but still does like fashion and accessorising and... lip gloss?

tia: misumi? tenma? idk the intelligent and passionate archetype is very broad... especially in a high school setting

kevin: kazunari. just the whole best friend thing + kevin being a goofy person who loves to make ppl laugh ugh

racquelle: yuki. i know racquelle’s a bully here and say not to bullying... but sharp tongue.

todd: honestly? todd was so boring in the moving. we need someone like banri to give him CHARACTER!... yes that’s my reasoning ugh

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: sUMMER SUMMER SUMMER-

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: AHAHAHA WHAT IS THIS CASTING? MY REASONINGS FOR THIS ONE IN PARTICULAR ARE SO SHALLOW LMAO

ro/rosella: “a 16 year old girl who can talk to animals! adventurous and brave” me: *gasps* mISUMI-

prince antonio: “prince antonio loves travelling and exploring-” okay yeah it’s kazu...

queen ariana: i just want yuki to sing to me “love is for peasants which we’re obviously not” and i’d go :O also ngl... i wanna see yuki in like darker palettes and plotting to poison all the royals

princess luciana: queen ariana’s daughter... played by muku. because i wanna hear muku counter yuki with “all the shoujo mangas books i’ve read, all the poems always said, that the heart is made to share...”

sagi the red panda & azul the peacock: honestly, just basing it off of colour matching but tenma is sagi and kumon is azul lol

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: AUTUMN x SPRING

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: AHAHAHA WHAT IS THIS CASTING? pt 2

corrine: i keep wanting to put sakuya in these roles oops. i just... let him sword fight on stage again :>

viveca: purple musketeer, artistic, designs clothes... fights with ribbons... you know, for the sake of banri being a fAshIoNisTa... it has to be banri y’all "Don't mess with the animal print dress!"

aramina: green musketeer, fights with fans, romantic and loves ballet... pfft, for the sake of “wouldn’t it be funny-” it has to be azami. poor bby, having to swoon over romance on stage- he can’t relate

renee: chikage. purely because of that scene where she threw a feather duster (?) at a flying shard of glass and perfectly hit it. yeah.

helene: the old and strict instructor that teaches them how to be musketeers... sakyo.. duh.

philippe: the main antagonist... it has to be omi again. and since philippe has a goatee, we’re bringing back facial hair omi~

prince louis: itaru, lol. he’s like the one significant non-action oriented character in the film. he has just enough moments where itaru still looks princely, but mostly? he just wants humans to fly y’all.

want to order again?

#a3!#a3! act! addict! actors!#a3! act addict actors #a3! headcanons #cafe: dessert menu #serving: barbeQUEUE #nathya stans barbie ✌️💖#a3! game

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the-great-imagines-of-1812 · 4 years

Text

Through The Years- Part 9

tags: @the-romanian-is-bae @a-girl-who-loves-disney

Summary: knowing that you must act now, you make your way to Germany, to S.H.I.E.L.D’s aid.

~~~~~~

MAY 3RD 2012

PARIS, FRANCE

9:00 PM.

You were scared. Scratch that, that’s an understatement. You were petrified.

Dismissing the missed calls notifications from Hill and Coulson, and make your way to a glass the hallway closet. Pushing on the button disguised as a light switch next to it, the door hiss and slide open. The silver suit of armor gleams in the fluorescent light. Over the past 60 something years, it hadn’t changed in the least.

“Hello old friend. Are you ready?” you asked, giving a lighthearted chuckle. As if the suit would answer. Taking it off it’s rack, you put it on. The familiar plates and buckles felt secure around you, and it almost felt like you were on a mission with the Howlies again.

Picking up the ear piece from the hook on the wall, you put it on your ear, making sure it was secure. You spoke into it “JARVIS?”

“Yes, ms. Stark?”

Opening the door to the building hallway, you looked both ways before speeding up the stairs that led to the roof level. “JARVIS, set course for Stuttgart.” specifying the location you saw on the news, too.

“Yes ms. Stark, right away.” The rocket-boots tony had installed on your armor the last time he visited you took off into the Paris night sky, and headed for Germany.

~~~~~~

STUTTGART, GERMANY

10:00 PM.

Landing on the roof of the museum, you tried to keep as quiet as you could, crouching down. From your line of view, you could see Steve, a group of hostages and a tall, reindeer? looking man.

You slid down a ladder off the side of the building quieter than a mouse, partly because you didn’t want to be shot at and partly because you didn’t want to startle the hostages.

“Kneel!” the man booms.

“No. Not today, not ever.” Steve stood his guard, hiding behind his shield. Interrupting the cold, tense night is “Shoot to Thrill” by- what was the band? You remember because Tony made you listen to them for hours upon hours. Oh, that was right. AC/DC.

Tony. Oh my god. It was going to be a shit show. He prepares a blast from his suit’s hand “Your move, reindeer games. Surrender or be terminated.”

Deciding it was time to crawl out form behind the wall, you pulled out not one, but both swords from your side. “Yea me too, Rudolph. You’ve got ten seconds. before I arrest you.” pointing one of the blades to his face while the other was behind your back, ready for any attack.

“Aunty! What’re you doing here?” Tony asked in surprise.

“Tony! Hi! Fury wouldn’t give me a break. So I thought to myself- why not join the party?” you said, inching closer to- Loki.

“You always did, Y/N. Welcome back.” Steve says in relief, with a sort of golden boy smile.

“Shut it, freedom.” Tony almost bursts into laughter. “Now, ‘god of mischief-’”

“The name is Loki and I am your kin-”

“I don’t like you very much. You know, last time I was in Germany, I was fighting a guy just like you.” you had now hooked one arm around his neck, the sword inching closer to his face. “I didn’t like him very much. I don’t like you either. You have 5 seconds.”

“How dare yo-”

It was so easy to distract him. You kick him in the back and handcuff his hands. “By order of the U.S military, you are under arrest. You’re coming with us.”

~~~~~~

THE QUINJET

All was quiet as the quinjet zoomed off from the ground, headed to New York. You and tony were talking on the side while Steve was tying Loki to his seat.

“It’s good to see you, Aunty. Hope you didn’t miss me that much.” Tony said, pulling away from the hug you were both in a second ago.

“Me? miss you? never.” you teased, smirking.

“Hey! you love me and you know it.”

“I guess you’re right.”

Steve finishes the job and walks over to you and greets you with a hug. “Hey, Y/N. It’s good to have you back.”

“It sure feels good to be back. Although I’m not so sure.”

“Understandable. I don’t like this, guys.” he says all in one breath.

“What?” Tony asked, suit whirring. “Rock of Ages giving up so easily?”

“Well Tony, I don’t remember the fight ever being that easy.”

“Say, you’re pretty spry for an older fellow. Do you do Pilates?”

“I’m sorry- What?”

“You might have missed it, spending so much time as a capsicle.” They are now face to face, the tension high.

It was way past time to intervene. “Ok, you two. You might’ve found your ego’s match, but we have way bigger matters at hand.” you said, separating them from one another.

Finally ripping his eyes of Tony, Steve turns to you and asks. “Y/N! So! Fury didn’t tell me he was calling you in.”

“I had no choice. He sort of broke into my apartment-”

“There’s a lot of things Fury doesn’t tell you, Rogers-” Tony began.

“Tony! That’s enoug-”

Thunder is heard, and the blinding white lightning in seen from the Quinjet’s windows. Thunder and Lightning nearly hit the jet, causing it to violently shake.

“Now- where’s all this coming from?” the red haired woman, who you learned her name was Natasha, asked.

The jet shakes again, more violently this time. And you’re afraid it might actually be struck down. Loki looks out the window, as if expecting something.

“You afraid of a little lightning, your highness?” Steve asks in a teasing tone, raising an eyebrow.

Loki looks back at Steve, with a devilish smirk “I’m not overly fond of what follows.”

The jet once again shakes and a blinding light shines through the window. You firmly stand your ground, while helping Tony up, who had fallen down a moment ago. But it’s not a light. It’s a man. A tall, well built man with long hair opens the hatch and grabs Loki by the neck and flies out.

Natasha, Tony, Steve and you stand there in shock, before you approach the hatch where they had both left a second ago.

“And now there’s this guy.” Tony breathed out, absolutely exasperated, putting on his helmet.

“You think he’s friendly?” Natasha asked, eyes darting between the three of you.

It suddenly felt as if you were on The Valkyrie just yesterday. A Tesseract was out there and Loki was using it for his own benefit. The situation seemed more similar than it should.

Coming back to reality, you answered Natasha’s question. “It doesn’t matter. If this guy free or kills Loki, it won’t matter; the Tesseract will be lost.” Steve’s eyes dart to you. He knows what you’re thinking about, and gives a silent nod of acknowledgement to the situation.

You get ready to jump as Tony comes up beside you. “You Starks have and will always be reckless. We need a plan, you two.” Steve said.

“I do have a plan, Iced Americano. Attack.” Tony said, looking at you, then proceeding to jump out, you following close behind.

“How do they even know each other? Why haven’t I met her until now, Steve?” Natasha asked, crossing her arms.

“She- She’s Howard’s sister. She went into the ice with me, couple decades back. She’s his aunt.”

“Alright. Be careful, these men come form legend, they’re practically gods.”

“There’s only one god, ma’am. And I’m pretty sure he doesn’t dress like that.” with this, Steve jumps out of the jet.

~~~~~~

Thor, Tony and you have been falling through the air, somewhere in Europe at least for the past 30 seconds or 30 minutes; you wouldn’t exactly know. You weren’t counting.

The three of you make it to the ground with a loud thud. The rustling of trees and leaves ad the crunching of sticks fills the otherwise silent forest. Before you can comprehend what’s going on, this man- Thor had you in a headlock.

“Don’t touch me again, puny human!” Thor boomed, wrapping his arm tighter around your neck.

“Oop yea, that’s gonna leave a mark.” you said as best as you could, obviously tripping over you words and stuttering, given your current situation.

“Shut it, point break. I won’t touch you ever again, but let my aunt go.”

Thor releases his arm from around you, and you fell to the floor with a gasp of breath. Tony helps you up and lets you lean on him until you gain back most of your strength.

“You lot have no idea what you’re dealing with.”

“Really, Shakespeare in the park? Tell me, doth mother know you weareth her drapes?” Tony teased Thor, while helping you stand upright.

“Loki WILL face Asgardian justice.” Thor said, trying to convince the both of you.

“Listen, Thor-” you approach him “If he gives up the Tesseract, he’s all yours.”

“Yea, she’s definitely the smarter one of this pair.” Tony breathed out, putting the helmet back on. “Until then, stay out of our way, Rapunzel.”

This makes Thor angry. He lifts his hand up in the air to catch the his hammer. He then proceeds to throw it at the both of you, knocking Tony and you to the side, harshly.”

I’m saved. Is the only thought in your head as the quinjet makes it’s landing in the forest, and Steve lands in front of it. “Hey, That’s enough!” Steve looks Thor up and down. “Now, calm down. I don’t know what you plan on doing here.”

“I’m here to put and end to Loki’s schemes!”

“Then prove it, if your so tough. Put. The. Hammer. Down.”

“Yeah, capsicle. That might not be the best idea. Dude loves that thing.” Tony said, helping you up from the ground.

“You want me to let go of this hammer?” Thor said, lowering his voice. He then proceeds to bring it high into the air to strike it against Steve’s shield, making a blinding light shine throughout the dark forest.

You and Tony stand there in shock, as the force of the hammer on the shield knocked Steve to the ground. Thor never takes his eyes off the three of you.

“Are we done here?”

~~~~~~

THE BRIEFING ROOM ON THE HELLICARRIER

“Be careful how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard. And he’s my brother.”

“Thor- I don’t know if you’re aware, but he killed 80 people in two days.” Natasha informed, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms.

“He’s adopted.”

“Um- A-Anyway, I’m doctor Bruce Banner it’s good to meet y-you guys.” The poor man was clearly nervous and shaking, if you squinted your eyes enough.

“It’s good to meet you doctor, I’m Y/N.” you shook his hand, although he seemed hesistant.

“Yes, yes, oh my god. How could I forget? I absolutely love your work I’m a big admirer.”

“Thank you, doctor-”

“Hey, Banner. Hands of the Aunt.”

“Tony, leave him alone.”

“Well, I-”

The doors hiss open, to reveal Nick Fury, with Maria Hill behind him. “Doctor Banner is only here to help u track down the cube. I was hoping Pain In the Ass #1 and Pain In the Ass #2 would like to help him.”

“Loving the nicknames, director.” Tony said, in a sassy manner.

“Gee thanks, Fury. I know you missed me.” you said, in the same way Tony did.

“This is why you two have those. Good god.”

“Moving on to the actual issue- Let’s start with that stick of his- Loki’s. But it works an awful lot like a HYDRA weapon.”

“Captain, I don’t know about that. But it is powered by the cube. And I wanna know what is it that it does that turns two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys.” Fury said.

“Monkeys?” Thor asked. “I’m afraid I do not understand.”

“I do! I understood that reference!” Steve says excitedly, while Tony rolls his eyes from besides you.

“Steve, shut up! You’re making us look bad!” You whispered-yelled.

“Meeting adjourned, ladies and gentlemen.” Fury states.

Tony then turns to Dr. Banner and you, about to strike up conversation “Well, you two. The professor-”

You crossed your arms, raising an eyebrow at him.

“-and the doctor. Shall we play?”

#the avengers #the avengers x reader #tony stark x aunt reader #marvel #marvel x reader #howard stark #Howard Stark x sister! reader #natasha romanoff x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #clint barton #bruce banner #loki odinson #thor odinson

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