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#Shrek
polaroidcats · 2 days
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@jstor is such an important part of my education, and not just because I found out about today being the 23rd shrekiversary through them (but also not not because of that...)
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one-time-i-dreamt · 2 days
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I was the sister of Dragon from Shrek, and we were at the movies (I'm pretty sure we were mouse-sized). The movie playing was literally just a guy playing Hollow Knight.
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d10nyx · 2 days
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HEY NOW, YOU'RE AN ALL-STAR - LEON S. KENNEDY
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ft. leon kennedy x fem!reader
a/n: commission for the lovely @nexysworld :3 ft. my fave creation, shrekeon. you guys are in for a treat trust me x
cw: 18+ content, fluff, depictions of alcohol, drunk!leon, dressing up, costume sex, p in v, creampie, bad puns, laughing during sex, implied age gap, size difference + size kink
word count: 1.7k words
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In hindsight, introducing your boyfriend to Shrek was definitely not in your top ten for stupid ideas. You'd told him it was a crime to be nearly forty without seeing the movie – and rightfully so. He was an old man at heart, barely having seen a movie past the nineties. You thought you were righting an injustice. Shrek was a movie for everyone, no matter their age. It held up, even years later. You were pretty sure everyone had seen this movie, but then again, your boyfriend could barely even work a smartphone, so you shouldn't be entirely surprised.
The only thing you hadn't quite anticipated how much he'd like it. Leon spent most of the movie cackling like a maniac. Whether that was from the half-bottle of whiskey he downed or the movie itself, you weren't sure. Either way, what was meant to be a light-hearted movie night led you to where you were now – tipsy and laughing at your boyfriend's Shrek getup in his bedroom at nearly midnight.
When you finally manage to catch your breath, you let your eyes trail over to the costume he had laid out on the bed for you. Sexy Farquaad. That alone is enough to send you into another fit of giggles, your brows raising as you look over at him.
“Leon? We are so breaking up.” Your hands lift up the red costume, your eyes flicking between Leon, then back at the outfit. You eye up the wig, barely managing to suppress a smile. Idiot. “Shouldn't I at least be Fiona?”
“Shut up.” He says between drunken giggles, adjusting the headband on his head so it sits properly, grinning at you as the green ears poke out through his hair. “You're smaller. Farquaad suits you, babe. You can pull anythin’ off.”
Your gaze flicks over to Leon as he adjusts the headband, and you can't help but snort out a laugh, letting your gaze trail his body to take in the whole outfit. Fake belly and everything. You don't even wanna know how much he paid for the costumes. Drunk Leon should not be allowed anywhere near a computer. His spending habits while intoxicated seemed to be getting worse and worse. “Jesus. There's no way you're not pulling my leg.”
“I'm being so serious. You don't wanna make me mad, baby, or it'll… it'll be ogre for you.”
Another laugh, and you reach up to playfully flick one of his ears, shaking your head. “I hate you. You're ridiculous.”
“You gotta give me love’s first kiss to get me back to Leon, baby. If you don't, I'm gonna be stuck like this.” He says with a grin, leaning towards you with his lips puckered. “Don't make me do the accent.”
“God. Please, not the accent.” You say between giggles, looping your arms around his neck to tug him closer, a stupid smile gracing your features. “I'll do anything you want, just please, not the accent.”
“Anything, huh? You gonna put on that sexy ‘lil costume for me?” He murmurs, leaning forward to kiss you. His lips meet yours as he places his hands on your waist, tugging you closer to his body. His tongue brushes against your lower lip until you part them, but then he's pulling away from you.
“Leon? What… come on, babe.” You whine, leaning forward in an attempt to kiss him, but he's quick to place a finger against your chest to stop you from advancing further, a shit-eating grin spreading across his face.
“Not a chance, sweetheart. I didn't get all dressed up for you to take it easy. You want me to dive into that swamp of yours? Costume goes on.”
You shoot him a glare that can only be described as murderous, but all he does is grin wider, looking between the costume and you. With a dramatic sigh, you pick up the costume and make your way towards the bathroom with the plan of changing into it. When you return to the bedroom, Leon's lounging back casually on the bed with his arms behind his bed, still in the Shrek outfit. He lets out a low whistle, tilting his head to the side.
“Damn. You're looking shreksy, babe.”
“No.” You reply quickly, making your way over to the bed.
“Shrektacular?” 
“Absolutely not.”
“Work with me here, angel. I only have so many Shrek puns at my disposal, y'know?” He says cheekily, patting his lap. Another deep, irritated exhale leaves you as you settle, placing your palms firmly on his chest.
“Atta girl. Red might be your colour. Hottest evil little Lord I've ever seen.” He teases, his hands coming up to adjust the hat resting atop your head. He lets out a soft giggle once more, his eyes trailing down your body. His hands reach up to thread through your hair, and then he's pulling you into another kiss.
It doesn't take you long to get into it, the taste of whiskey filling your mouth as his tongue sloppily meets yours as he licks into your mouth. He pulls you closer so you're pressed flush against him, his hips rocking up against you. He slowly starts to harden, his hands grasping your hips to make you grind down against him.
Your little moans are swallowed by his mouth as he kisses you hungrily, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip. He reaches between your legs, grabbing the fabric of the costume and tearing it open, just enough for him to be able to slip a few fingers past the cloth to gather your wetness before circling your sensitive nub.
He pulls away from the kiss to catch his breath, pulling his hand away to pull the brown trousers down enough to free his cock. He gives it a few languid pumps before lining up with your entrance, sinking into your tight heat with a low groan of pleasure.
“Thought you weren't into this, baby? ‘Cause you acted like it, but you're soaking me already, and I haven't even started fucking you yet.” He breathes out, his brows furrowing as he leisurely starts to thrust up into you.
All you can manage is a low whine, your hands grasping the brown vest of his costume, your head hanging as you feel his cock rub against your sweet spot, the hat falling off your head and dropping on the bed next to the both of you. “Leon… shut… shut up.”
“Aww, sweetheart. You don't like it when a big, strong ogre explores all your… fuck… layers?” He huffs out, his voice coming out a little breathless as he grabs your waist. His large hands grip you easily, using his strength to drag you up and down on his cock, controlling the pace of each of your movements.
You let out an annoyed whine, your eyes squeezing shut as you bounce your hips against his, trying to focus on the familiar feeling of your boyfriend's cock filling you up. You feel him shaking slightly, and you crack your eyes open only to see the asshole is trying to suppress another fit of laughter at your reaction.
“You are such a dick.” You grunt, grinding his cock deep inside of you until you hear Leon gasp and moan, the smirk instantly getting wiped from his face. You smile in triumph, but it's short-lived as he finds yet another pun to annoy you with.
“Better in you than out - that's what I always say.” Your hips falter as you groan, and Leon uses that as an opportunity to flip both of you over, hooking your ankles over his shoulders so he can pound you into the mattress. The cushion of the fake stomach smacks against your thighs with every thrust, and Leon's fake ears become skewed as he throws his head back in pleasure.
He seems to forget all about feeding you shitty puns as he buries himself to the hilt with every thrust, the new position allowing him to kiss your cervix every time he pushes forward. He can barely think with your cunt sucking him in, drenching him with your arousal. All you can do is whimper as he pistons into you, your body jerking up with the strength of his movements. Your hands come up to grip his shoulders, your nails digging into the fabric of the white shirt he's wearing.
“Leon… m'close…” You breathe out, your back arching off the bed. He lets out a deep moan in response, pressing his hips flush against your ass so he can grind his pelvis against your clit, giving you the extra simulation needed to push you over the edge. You cry out his name as you cum, your walls clenching down around his length. 
Leon pulls back slightly to thrust shallowly into you a few more times before he follows behind you, his release making his thighs tremble slightly. He shoots thick white ropes of cum deep into your tight walls, his breaths coming out in short gasps. He collapses against you after a moment, his cock softening inside of you before he pulls out, tucking you against his side.
“This costume is making me sweat.” He grunts after a few moments of cuddling up to you, pressing his lips to your forehead before standing up, his joints cracking as he stretches. He holds out a hand towards you, giving you a slightly sleepy smile. 
“C'mon, my little all-star. Let's get you in the bath. Maybe we can cuddle up after, and you can show me Shrek 2 tonight?” At the sight of you face palming, he lets out a loud chuckle, slipping his arms under your body so he can cradle you against his chest, carrying you over to the bathroom.
“C'mon, baby. I promise not to dress up as Shrek again. Maybe next time I'll be real nice and get that prince's costume.” He teases, pressing another kiss to your forehead. You pull your hands away from your face to glare at him, and he gives you a grin that you know means trouble. “Just kidding, sweetheart.”
You both know he isn't.
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fact: every single theater production can be improved by lesbians
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yosb · 13 hours
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do YOU love your big strong wife??? 🫵💞🐉
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barbielore · 1 day
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Happy birthday Shrek!
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she believed she could so she did✊😔
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mfshipbracket · 1 year
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baldguy-fight · 1 year
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BALD GUY FIGHT ROUND 1
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favoritesticle · 1 year
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animentality · 1 year
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noritaro · 1 year
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wtf look at this deleted scene I stole from Dreamworks headquarters
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absolutely fucking reeling from puss in boots the last wish. my grown ass friends made me see it and it absolutely fucked. it was mad max fury road for kids. it was a horror movie about the fear of death. it was a western about an ageing outlaw trying to regain his youth with the help of his ex fiance and homeless harvey guillen. it was about found family. it was about needing people and asking for help. it had the best depiction of a panic attack i've ever seen in a mainstream film. the villain looked exactly like boris johnson. there was a wicker man reference. it had a kill count higher than most slasher films. it set up shrek 5. they even said fuck.
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nicostiel · 1 year
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#sobbing over perrito comforting puss through a panic attack
Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022)
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