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matrixbearer2024 · 2 months

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Troubles Unforeseen

Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader

A/N: Wowowowow- I did not realize my story would be so well received hahaha, I'm honestly grateful you guys like it so much. Anyways- here's the loooong awaited continuation to the series and I hope you all enjoy this installment as much as you've enjoyed the past ones. Happy reading!

A/N: To say this was looong overdue is a friggin understatement since it's literally just been chilling in my drafts like no one's business hahahaha. I'm posting it now so people can start writing ideas about what to do after Reader dies, but go ahead and feel free to keep posting HCs about Reader still being alive. It's an AU at this point and I'll keep writing about it like one HAHAHAHA!

To say Vox paid more attention to you now was slightly an understatement.

You were both practically connected by the hip digitally.

Even your friend group noticed how much time you'd spent just chatting whoever was on the receiving end of your shenanigans.

Not that they knew what kind of peculiar situation was always on the other side of the screen.

In fact, Vox was aware he probably should've been paying more attention to the meeting he was in-

It just so happens that you interested him more than any typical business ever could.

All the more when you'd told him you were getting ready for a party.

"It's just a birthday celebration Vox, it's not like I'm going to a club or anything."

"If there's any booze try not to get shitfaced, or will you drive yourself there?"

You could only giggle at his worry, taking a glance at your phone as it continued to buzz from his messages.

You clipped on the new earrings you'd bought just a few days ago to go with your outfit.

Even if you had gone shopping with your friends-

You still sent Vox pictures, asking what look he preferred.

He was in the middle of spying on Alastor when you once again swiped up all his attention.

Aaaaaand he actually thought you looked great in all of the outfits.

A warm feeling spread through him upon seeing your cheeky grin and silly poses.

Ah whatever, at this point it was nothing new.

But he did finally end up picking the one which bore a striking resemblance to his color scheme.

You didn't even notice at first when you bought the outfit.

Only when you saw the small desktop companion Vox made for you while doing assignments did you realize the subconscious decision your overlord buddy had made.

You teased him about it for a while too, much to his chagrin.

"I'll be with my friends, you don't have anything to worry about."

"The same friends that caused how we met? Doll, I have every right to be concerned."

Vox had nothing against the chaotic nature of your friends.

After all they always brought out the best-

And the worst-

In you, no matter what you were doing.

Even so, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was very... off.

Like an ominous shadow just looming over his shoulder.

He didn't make any mention of it though, thinking he was just being paranoid.

Besides, he didn't want to rain on your parade.

You'd gone the whole nine yards to pretty yourself up for the party.

He wouldn't want your efforts to be in vain.

Vox felt a twinge of jealousy towards the fact others would be able to admire how nice you were in real time, he only had pictures.

Wait what-

Okay, there was definitely something still wrong with him.

"I might not be as active for a few hours because of the party so go and actually focus on the things you gotta do."

"Are you insinuating that I don't do that already?"

"When you spam memes and talk to me nearly all the time can you blame me for not thinking you're always distracted?"

Vox mumbled cursed under his breath, rolling his eyes and glancing back up to check if the boring meeting was over.

Ugh... were they even halfway done discussing this shit?

"Yeah whatever, enjoy your party dollface. Don't get too hammered."

"Hahaha love you too dumbass, I'll keep you updated."

The overlord glitched slightly reading your reply.

His stomach definitely did a flip when he first saw what you typed.

Vox already knew it was probably just a: "I love you as a really close friend" thing-

But that didn't stop his systems from freaking out about it anyhow.

He decided it would be best to stop thinking about it anyways, placing his phone down and finally placing his attention back on the meeting.

Like it should've been the entire time-

Vox didn't really give a fuck though.

On your end, you were going to be picked up by your friends before you all headed to the party.

You guys decided it would be smarter to carpool so most of you guys could actually drink and unwind.

"Heeeeey bitch! Wow! Your outfit slays!"

You rolled your eyes before climbing into shotgun.

"I had some help picking out the look, any good?"

"(Y/N) you are going to break necks with how fast heads will turn, are you kidding me??"

That just reminded you of something Vox said when you showed him the pictures of your completed outfit.

'They're going to turn their heads so fast it'll give them whiplash! You look stunning darling!'

Vox's knack for petnames sometimes embarrassed you, especially when it sometimes seemed a little more than friendly.

Though- that was probably not the case, he was just being the charming idiot TV telecaster that he was with his sweet talk.

You often caught yourself wondering if he ever meant his words, or if it was just the persona Vox played up.

You partly hoped he meant it, even if you didn't know why.

That was until the not-so-subtle snickering of your friends popped the thought bubble you were in.

"Ooookay, what's so funny?"

"Who are you thinking about~? That digital 'friend' of yours?"

You audibly groaned from the situation your friends were insinuating.

They never really believed that you were just chatting with a friend when you were on the phone with Vox.

Despite the multiple times you'd blatantly mentioned that he really was just that.

A friend, a companion-

He wasn't supposed to be anything more than that right?

A blush was creeping up your neck as your friends continued to prod and tease at you for it, fanning your own face slightly to try and calm down the raging embarrassment.

Of course, it would always be fun and games-

Until it wasn't.

Everything happened so fast.

You were just joking with your friends in one moment-

And now you were coughing up blood in the next.

You remembered your friends screaming, some bright headlights, the brakes screeching then metal crunching.

You couldn't even move.

The entire front of the car had been shoved backwards into the front seats.

Even if the paramedics got here in time, you doubted they could save you.

The coppery tang of blood stained your tongue.

You'd gotten all dolled up for the party too.

It's unfortunate that now you'd never be able to go.

Heh... you probably wouldn't even be able to get drunk now either.

Wait-

Oh shit-

Vox!!

You wanted to reach for your phone but both your arms were fucked up in the crash.

The only thing you could really move was your head.

Even then, darkness was already starting to creep into your vision.

It didn't matter how valiantly you fought to keep your eyes open.

You lost too much blood, by the time the paramedics had arrived-

They announced you dead and took you away in a body bag.

The lower half of you had gotten entirely mangled from the accident that you surviving seemed bleak to begin with.

You thought you were done for when you closed your eyes for the final time.

Only when you opened them again- you were somewhere else entirely.

What...?

The skies were blood red, there was practically fire and murder everywhere you turned-

And oh ew- it even smelled like rotten burning corpses.

Where the fuck were you??

Was this supposed to be hell???

You carefully wandered around, hesitating here and there before stumbling across a large building.

Hazbin Hotel...?

Huh, you had no where else to go.

Might as well give it a shot.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #vox #vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin vox x reader #vox x you #Get Off My Screen Series

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calypsocolada · 1 month

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MR. CHAINSAW MAN | denji

synopsis: chainsaw man saves you and you feel very thankful... request: "hi! can i ask for a denji one? like, one where he and the reader (fem!) are classmates and friends, it's late at night and they're texting, then the reader says 'me after saying i would give chainsaw man a big fat kiss if he asked' and denji is all shocked and stuff because she said that to him (but she doesnt even know he's chainsaw man) and the next day at school he acts all weird and giddy?" authors note: hii!! thank you so much to whoever requested this... this one goes to you! this turned out a lot longer than I thought... also this is another attempt at smut... big emphasis on attempt... i hope you all enjoy! ps. this could be a two parter if you all enjoy... keep an eye out cw: aged up to 20's, p in v, smut, fem reader, loss of virginites (both reader and denji), dirty talk, some gore, utterly romantic!denji, idiots in love, slightly clueless reader, touch starved!denji, not proofread wc: 5.4k

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It started with a simple act of service. Well… a simple act of saving your life. When you were younger you idolized heroes. The ones in the tv to be exact. Heroes in cloaks and tights, the ones that swung from buildings and punched alien invaders into outer space. Those heroes were cool but those heroes weren’t real. The hero that you saw on the television a few months ago, the one that was practically a celebrity… that one was nothing like the fictional heroes you loved dearly. Chainsaw Man he called himself. He was exactly what his name was, a man with chainsaws on his body. Most of the time he fought devils the fight wasn’t shown on live tv because of how gruesome and bloody the scenes were after he was done. But you saw pictures online and to say it might’ve haunted your dreams was an understatement. You weren’t entirely sure how you felt about this Chainsaw Man.

That was until you met him.

You’d been walking home when it happened. Your classmate Denji was walking with you earlier but you two parted ways the closer you got to your house.

Denji was… unruly.

You were forced to partner up with him on a project. Denji was brash, loud and certainly had zero qualms with asking for your number the second you walked over to him to talk about the project. You gave him your number but asked that he only text about the project… which he didn’t do. He texted you pretty much every hour. He’d send memes that unfortunately were pretty funny. He’d text pictures of himself working out and then say it was an accident. He sent a picture of a hamburger once and said he was thinking of you. You weren’t really sure what that meant but the hamburger did look pretty delicious. He’d ask how your day was and ask to meet for lunch. You’re not entirely sure how it happened but suddenly you two were somewhat friends.

Which is why when you saw multiple reports of devil sightings in your area you texted him and asked if he would walk you home after class since you two were getting dinner after and it would be dark when you walked home. He readily agreed. And he took it very seriously. His head was on a swivel the entire walk home, you could barely get a conversation going because of how focused he was on keeping a look out for devils. It was… endearing.

“Okay… that’s far enough.” You said as your street came into view. Denji looked over at you.

“Isn’t your house just a bit farther?”

“Yes but… if my dad or mom see you walking me home they’ll kill me.” You say, a bit embarrassed. You were in college but you still really feared what your parents thought of you. They were currently trying to set you up with a boy from their church and if they saw you walking home with a trouble maker like Denji they might push you harder towards that other boy.

“You sure?” Denji asked, cocking his head slightly, his hair falling slightly from his forehead.

“Yeah… Don’t worry.” You smile. “Thanks for walking me home.” For a moment Denji doesn’t respond, his eyes glued to your lips, a blush spreading across the tops of his cheeks and nose. “Denji?”

“Huh? Oh…! Y-yeah that’s no problem. If you want I can walk you home everyday until I die.” He rambles and then blushes even brighter at his clearly not well thought out words. You let out a surprised laugh.

“I’ll… keep that in mind.” You say, walking towards your house, turning and waving when you turn down your street. You glance back a last time, blushing as you watch Denji turn to leave. You’d never much thought about Denji in the ways that were seeping into your brain now. You turned to walk towards your house and wondered if it would’ve been so bad letting Denji walk you the rest of the way. You felt safe with him on the walk home. Suddenly your phone dinged in your pocket. You grabbed it, clicking open the message.

Denji (from psych): text me when you get home, okay?

Your heart tumbled around in your chest at the message. Just as you went to text back it all sort of happened so fast. It was dark out and you heard the approach before you spotted the thing. Whatever it was it was fast and had snatched you off your feet before you could even blink. The scream that escaped you died in your throat as you were dragged off towards the forest near your house. Your hands flailed out, grasping for anything to hold onto as claws dug into your ankles as it tugged at you. You screamed as the thing paused and that's when you were able to turn and look at it. Just as something revved and the damned thing holding you was split completely in half. The nails that dug into it released and you scrambled back until your back hit hard against a tree. You watched the creature burst apart and something emerge from behind it. Chainsaw’s glinted in the moonlight. You screamed at the sight as the man who saved you ran to you, gently clamping a hand over your mouth.

“Shh. Shh… It’s okay.” The voice that left the monstrous thing’s mouth was surprisingly gentle. You knew instantly who you were looking at. The hero from the news broadcasts. The Chainsaw Man that killed devils.

“Fuck… what… uh,” You breathed out, your voice ragged from screaming, tears wet against your cheeks.

“Are you hurt?” Chainsaw Man asked. His hands on your face, wiping your tears away with his thumbs. You stared at him dumbfoundedly. Seeing him this close was… strange. Uncanny… you felt as though maybe that devil from earlier had killed you and you were dead. “Y/n-- eh… M-miss, are you okay?” He asked again, you swallowed, wide eyed.

“Uh-- I think… so.” You forced out as Chainsaw Man sighed with relief.

“Let’s get you home then, can you stand?” He asked, moving back slightly. The Chainsaws that once enveloped his hands were no longer there… just regular hands that reached out to pull you to your feet. You shook as you let him pull you to your feet.

“Ah-- fuck… my ankles.” You hissed in pain, forgetting that the devil from before had dug its claws in you. Chainsaw man reacted quickly as you wavered on your feet and swept you off them into his arms. You gasped in surprise.

“I’ll get you to a hospital.” He said. He carried you like you weighed nothing and as the adrenaline and fear calmed in your chest you couldn’t help but slightly blush at the moment. “Do you have your phone on you?” He asked, you nodded your head, unable to say anything. He clicked a few buttons and you heard the sound of a text sending.

“What? Did you text someone?”

“I texted a friend of yours to meet you at the hospital.” He explained.

You didn’t work up the courage to speak until the lights of the hospital came into view. He lowered you into the grass as you looked up at him.

“What’re you doing?” You asked as the hero backed up towards the forest.

“Your friend will meet you here and take you the rest of the way… I don’t want to startle anyone else.” He said.

“W-wait!” You called out, he paused, looking back at you. “Thank you… You saved my life.” You gushed, smiling thankfully up at him. The cool facade this man wore moments ago faded in an instant. He tripped over his feet the moment he saw you smile and fell back into the woods. You startled. “Mr. Chainsaw Man… are you okay?!” You called out, unable to go to him. He stood quickly.

“Of course! Damn branches jumped out at me.” He kicked at the ground, clearing his throat. “And… you’re welcome… don’t walk home alone anymore Miss… it would be better to walk with a friend. A male friend…” He specified as you slowly nodded your head.

“Uhm… okay.” You said as he backed into the woods.

“Yeah… a strong one… the friend of yours I texted looks strong so… yeah maybe him.” Chainsaw Man said as you nodded your head, an amused smile growing on your face.

“Thank you again.” You said. Again the devil killer tripped and this time disappeared in the brush.You stared for a moment. “Chainsaw man?” You called out. Squinting into the darkness. Suddenly someone stumbled out from the woods startling you.

“Ah! There you are! I-- I uh got a text that said you’d be here!” Denji said, running over to you. You gasped, relieved.

“Oh! Denji… thank god!” You said and when he got close you pulled him into your body, hugging him tightly. Denji froze, you felt him stiffen. You didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable but it was so nice seeing a friendly face… although Chainsaw Man wasn’t exactly someone you’d be opposed to see again. When you went to pull away Denji’s arms closed around you and you relaxed.

“What happened?” Denji asked, muffled against your hair. You pull back finally, his hands still holding you loosely.

“A devil attacked me and… and Chainsaw Man saved me.” Even saying it out loud made you feel silly and surely enough Denji would laugh at your words but he didn’t. He looked surprised.

“R-really?” He stuttered as you nodded your head.

“I know it sounds crazy-“

“No… no I believe you.” He says, then seems to remember why he’s here. “We need to get you inside.” He says as you nod your head, not being able to ignore the stinging pain.

“I can try to walk,” you say, trying to push to your feet because surely your classmate couldn’t carry you but… but you’d be wrong.

“No… I got you.” He says and just like Chainsaw Man from before you are lifted with ease into Denji’s arms as he carries you across the way to the lobby of the hospital. “Are you sure you’re okay? Only your ankles got hurt?” He asks as you nod your head. “I— should’ve walked the entire way with you.” He says guiltily. You instant shake your head.

“No… don’t say that. It was my fault I should’ve just let you walk me home.” You say, the exhaustion of the night and the calmness of Denji’s heart made you tired. “Thank you for coming to help me.” You whisper. At that you hear Denji’s heart race.

Your parents picked you up from the hospital. They scolded you the entire way home, saying that the boy who helped you should officially walk you home everyday. You knew Denji wouldn’t mind in fact when you got home around four a.m. and checked your phone you saw a couple texts from him already.

Denji (from psych): sorry I left, I saw your parents and didn’t want to get you in trouble.

Denji (from psych): please text me when you’re home so I can have peace of mind.

You: hey! sorry just got home hopefully you didn’t wait up for me this late.

Denji (from psych): oh thank god. everything went okay?

You: yeah I’m fine! The cuts weren’t too deep. I saw news reports of that same devil that attacked me. It had already killed a few people before me. I got super lucky. Looks like I owe Chainsaw Man a big fat thank you kiss.

You stared at your sent message for a moment, blushing. Why in the world would you say that? You moved your hand over your face. Admitting that you might now have a crush on Chainsaw Man to your classmate had your stomach in knots and you're not entirely sure why. You thought about your other friends and how all of them had crushes on Chainsaw Man but for some reason telling that to Denji made you nervous.

The next morning you checked your phone. Denji had read the text the moment you sent it but didn’t text back. You're not sure why it embarrassed you so much so you thought up a plan that if he asked you’d say you were on pain meds or something. But truthfully… you’d do a lot more for Chainsaw Man if he asked. He saved your life… his voice still swam in your mind. So calming. He was so strong and wasted no time rushing you to help. It was hot. You hadn’t had a crush on someone in a long time and you felt that little flutter in your stomach and knew all too well what it meant. That’s when you heard the doorbell ring. Both of your parents were already gone for the day and you were about to start walking to college.

You opened the front door and to your surprise a blushing Denji was standing there in the rain. You blinked a few times.

“Denji?” You asked, he was soaked through with the rain. For a moment you two just looked at each other. Denji unable to speak just at the sight of you. You smiled slightly, a soft laugh escaping your lips. “Denji?” This seemed to snap him out of whatever stupor he was in as he blinked, sputtering out as he spoke.

“Y-Your mom called me and asked if I could walk you. Didn’t know it would be raining today.” He explained nervously. You stared at him. He was acting very strange.

“Come in.” You ushered him inside which made him act even more nervous. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah!! Yes yeah of course yeah I’m good.” He stuttered out. You laughed softly.

“Denji, you're absolutely soaked.” You laughed and he seemed to notice he was dripping wet all over your carpet.

“Oh- oh shit! Sorry!” He went to step back outside but you caught his arm.

“Wait- it’s fine, Denji, really come on in.”

“Your carpet?”

“I don’t care about the carpet.” You smiled with a soft laugh. When you looked at him his eyes were glued to that smile. It made your stomach flip. “I think my mom thought you had a car.” You said after a moment as Denji’s eyes snap up to yours.

“Sorry…”

“Don’t be.” You laughed. “I think… we should skip. What do you think?” You asked as his eyes grew large and he visibly swallowed.

“Really?” He asked as you nodded your head.

“I mean… My legs still hurt a bit and if we walk we’ll probably catch colds… which reminds me you need to get out of those wet clothes.” You said, unknowingly wreaking havoc on Denji’s nervous system. “Come with me,” You said softly. He dropped his bag and kicked off his shoes, jogging to catch up with you as you led him to your dad’s room. You grabbed some sweatpants and a t-shirt and handed it to Denji. “Here, change into this and give me your wet clothes so I can toss them in the dryer.” You said. Denji nodded obediently and started to pull off his shirt. You blushed instantly. “Wait.. wait… let me get out of the room.” You laughed as Denji laughed nervously. You closed the door behind you and paused. Your heart in your throat. You blew out a breath, walking towards the kitchen. Denji joined you a few minutes later and you smiled at him as you took his wet clothes and tossed them in the dryer.

“How’re you feeling?” Denji asked.

“I’ll be okay. I’ll probably have a cool scar down there.” You joke but Denji’s face was slightly serious. You wondered if he still felt bad about letting you walk alone and just at the thought you blushed.

“I’m… really sorry you got hurt.”

“It’s just some scratches, Denji.” You reassure him. “I’m really okay.” He looks at you and a moment builds between you two before he swallows and nods his head.

“Thank god I- ah uh… Chainsaw Man got to you fast.” Denji professed as you nodded your head with a wistful sigh.

“Yeah… he’s my savior.” You laugh, walking to sit across from Denji at the counter.

“Savior…” He said softly. “You still gonna give him a big fat thank you kiss?” He asked and suddenly went entirely red, the look on his face told you he hadn’t meant to say that outloud. You let out a surprised laugh.

“I… am not ashamed. I would. He saved my life.” You say earnestly and watch as a lot of stages pass Denji’s face. His dark brown eyes wide. You laughed, shaking your head. “What? I’m hardly the first person to say that. All the girls at school have crushes on Chainsaw Man.” You wave off. Denji suddenly looks overwhelmed and perplexed.

“They… they do?” He asks as you nod your head. He hums in response as though he’s taking this information in. “All the girls?”

“Probably.” You giggle. He clears his throat, looking sort of serious.

“Do… Do you?” He asks.

“Why? Are you jealous?” You ask teasingly. But it seemed you were right on the money because Denji choked on air, coughing. “I-- I was just joking, Denji.”

“Yeah! Yeah of course…” He said, slightly hiding his face.

“Denji?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you… do you like me?”

“Of course I do!” Denji answers and for a moment you two stare at each other.

“Oh,” You breath out, a violent blush spreading across your face.

“Oh! Oh.. you-- you meant..” Denji hides his face even more and you dissolve into laughter, slightly relieved he misunderstood. You could deal with a crushing on Chainsaw Man because he was unattainable… but Denji… he was here, real. Really seemed to care for you. It made your heart race in ways Chainsaw Man never could.

“Let's… just forget I said anything. Are you hungry?”

“I… yeah I could eat.” Denji forces out. You grab some stuff for you and Denji to snack on and lead him to your room. The entire time Denji is nervously fidgeting and you're not sure his face has stopped being red. You wondered if he was getting sick from walking here in the rain. When you opened the door to your room and walked inside Denji paused in the doorway. You turned back, his eyes were drinking in his surroundings. “Wow… this is cool.” He walked deeper in and immediately went to your manga shelf. “Holy shit!” He said as a warm smile fits to your lips as he looks at all the titles on your shelf. “You like this series?” He asks, pulling out one of your favorite mangas. You smile excitedly, nodding your head. You two gush about the series for a bit as he finally settles a bit. You put on a movie for you two to watch and scoot over, making room for him. He sits sort of uncomfortably as you laugh gently.

“Come on, Denji, I don’t bite.” You say. Denji laughs slightly.

“Of c-course… I’m just not… used to being… alone with a very very pretty girl who said she wants to kiss me.” He struggled with his words. You laughed.

“I never said I wanted to kiss-” The laugh dies on your lips as Denji and your eyes meet. Everything clicks into place there and then and you feel like a fool. “Holy shit.” “Oh fuck.” You and Denji speak in tandem. You continue to stare at each other in shock. Denji realized his mistake with his words.

“Denji…”

“I… I misspoke.”

“No… no you didn’t.” You say, sitting up slightly. Denji jumps to his feet.

“I-- I did!”

“Your… holy shit… Denji are you Chainsaw M-”

“No! No, of course not!” Denji tried to laugh it off but everything started to click into place. After All that calming voice… you’d been hearing it almost everyday. You felt like a complete idiot for not realizing. Then your entire face burned red because you had just professed your want to kiss Chainsaw Man in front of Chainsaw Man himself.

“Holy shit… you,” You started to laugh softly, it grew slowly. “You’re really him. Your Chainsaw Man.”

“You… You can’t tell anyone!” He said quickly. He gave in pretty quickly. “Please… promise me you’ll keep this to yourself.”

“I won’t tell a soul.” You said, a gentle smile on your lips. Denji stared at that smile. You should’ve known it was him, he always trips up when you smile. “You saved my life, Denji.” Denji’s eyes grew, for the hundredth time today he blushed. So he wasn’t sick after all, you were just causing him to malfunction it seemed. “And you pretended to text yourself.” You laughed as Denji sunk down on the bed, covering his face with his hands.

“I’m so embarrassed.” He mumbled into his palms. You reached, gently grabbing his wrists away from his face. He stared at you dumbfoundedly. You moved a bit closer.

“Don’t be. I… I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me anything! Seriously, I would save you anytime you need.” He expressed.

“I don’t doubt that.” You grinned, letting go of one wrist and sliding your hand into his with the other. You could see the nerves building in him. Nothing to be done about that, you were only going to make it worse. “But I do owe you. If… if Chainsaw Man wants it.”

“Wants… what?” Denji breaths out.

“A kiss.” You say and watch Denji’s world turn on its axis. He mouths the word ‘kiss’ and immediately his eyes go to your lips. You can tell how badly he wants it. You move a bit closer. “Do you want-” Denji shoots forwards, his lips slamming against your own. You gasp, surprised. The unexpectedness of the kiss jolted your system. The shock of the moment leaves both of you breathless. Denji’s quick and needy kiss, his hands sliding around your back as he pushed you back against the headboard of your bed. You made a sound against his lips that only spurred him on even more. Your bodies melted together, lips slotting together in perfect harmony, intertwined in a slow, sensual rhythm. A sort of primal desire comes over Denji as he presses even closer to you, his kiss trailing greedily from your mouth down your cheek to your jawline then your neck. You shiver, sucking in a breath, your eyes fluttering closed, hand sliding into his hair to gently grip his hair. Denji whimpers against your neck and your stomach bottoms out at the sound. “If you… leave marks on me… I’ll be in trouble.” You murmur, biting your lip. Denji trails his kisses back up to your lips and you grab both of his cheeks and hold him there.

“Mark me up then,” He says against your lips. You blush at his words.

“Denji…” you breath out, this all was happening so fast.

“Ah..I.. want to be yours.” Denji implores. “I… I really fucking want you to… own me.” He confesses. You let out a shaky breath and gently swap places with Denji, pushing him back against the pillows of your bed. He burns beneath you, hot to the touch. If he wanted to be yours it was more than fine with you. You duck down and press a kiss to his lips before gently ducking lower, pressing chaste kisses to his neck.

“I really fucking like you too, Denji…” You whisper against his neck. Denji sharply gasps at your words, a strangled whine escaping from his parted lips. His body sort of twitches beneath you as you slowly slide your legs over him, straddling against his clothed waist. He’s hard, so achingly hard that when you press against him he can’t help but let out a stifled moan. This was escalating very quickly… and you weren’t at all dissatisfied with this moment.

“Y/n…” Denji groaned out when you gently bit his neck.

“Hmm?”

“You… don’t have to-- d-do this…” Denji forced out between noises of pleasure. You lifted your head.

“What?” You asked softly. He swallowed, forcing himself to pay attention at this moment.

“I… want you to want me. Not feel like you owe me because I saved you.” He explains the best he can with you on top of him completely muddling his mind. You could tell how badly he wanted this and wanted you and the fact he was second guessing for your sake made your heart swell.

“Denji…” You breathed out.

“Let me take you out sometime… you deserve a date, s-something romantic.” He elaborates and you bite the smile on your lips, slightly tilting your head.

“You want to take me out?” You ask as Denji nods his head quickly.

“I know you like Chainsaw Man… but I want you to like me as well.”

“Oh… Denji.” You croon, sitting up. “We can go out. Anytime you want. And… yes I do like Chainsaw Man, he’s very cool… but he… he wasn’t the first person I wanted to kiss, ya know.” You say and watch the realization dawn on Denji’s face.

“Wait… you-- wait… when?” Denji asks, halting hope and half in utter disbelief.

“When you walked me home. You were so serious about keeping me safe.”

“I am very serious about that.” He doubles down. You smile at that and watch his eyes drift to it. Like a moth to a flame. “It wasn’t the shirtless pics of my muscles?” He asks as you scoff out a laugh, reaching and gripping his bicep gently.

“Wow… just like in the picture.” You tease.

“My friend said that would work.” Denji tries to hide his face in shame but you catch his wrists again, shaking your head in amusement.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like them.” You purred, gaining just the reaction you were wanting. Denji’s face got all red like you liked and when you let go of his wrists his hands fell and rest just on your hips.

“I-- I think I should leave.”He says suddenly. You softly furrow your brow, wondering if you’d made him uncomfortable in any way but know the thing pressing against your core meant he was enjoying this little chat.

“Okay… I’m sure your clothes are dry.” You say and when you move to get off of him his hands tighten slightly on your hips. You look back at him, his face was scrunched up slightly. “Denji..?”

“I-- don’t want…” He thought about his words carefully. “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to let you go.” His fingers flex on your hips. You smile down at him.

“Then don’t.” You say and he looks up at you.

“I really should, ah--- y/n,” Mid sentence you gently ground your hips against his and watched as his sentence fell apart. His grip tightened even more as his head fell back on the pillow. “Please… oh ah-- please don’t, Y/n… I really want to- ah ah fuck… please.” He can’t even form a coherent sentence.

“What is it, Denji?” You ask innocently as you slowly pick up speed. The moans and groans that escape his parted lips are heavenly. You could listen to them all day.

“Ah-- fuck… Y/n. I can’t-- don’t make me… in my pants…I’ve never… done this…before.” He says, cheeks flushed from embarrassment. You didn’t let up, just reached and gently grabbed him by the chin and angled his lips up to yours so you could kiss him, a fire of your own building below your stomach. You desperately wanted to rid you both of the layers of clothes between you and just at that thought you felt the tips of Denji’s fingers dip beneath the waistband of your pants, sliding back towards your ass. You shivered and kissed him harder as a reward. “Ah… am-- am I yours?” He whimpers helplessly against your lips. “F-fuck me like I’m yours, p-please.” Your stomach bottomed out at that. Jesus… You raised up slightly and pulled your pants off as fluidly as possible, tossing them aside. You helped Denji out of his own pants and paused because you’d never done this before. It was clear he hadn’t either. Despite it all you blew out a nervous breath and pressed on, lining up your entrance with his cock, letting it slide inside you. The noises you both made made the entire room heat up and spin around you. You moved your hips at a decent speed and wrapped your arms around the back of Denji’s neck, tucking your face in his neck as well. Your heart was in your throat thumping loudly as you fumbled your way through the motions, unsure of what you were doing. “Y/n…” Denji’s voice spoke softly, you pulled back and when your eyes met his all the fear an anxiety of the moment drained away. He kissed you hard and rocked up into you, muffling the moan on your lips. The want that built inside you tightened like a ball in your stomach, slowly being wound free. Denji kissed you, he kissed your cheeks and your forehead and when you came it was together. It was more romantic than you could’ve ever, ever imagined. All those horror stories of first times that all your friends had told you back in high school. You were damn glad you waited. Denji kissed your lips a last time as you two unlatched from each other. That’s when you heard the sound of the front door downstairs opening.

“Oh fuck.” You said suddenly, jumping up, grabbing your pants. You tossed Denji his and ran to your door, poking out your head. Sure enough your mom was home early. Your face flushed as you pressed your door shut quietly. Sure it was embarrassing to some that you still lived with your parents but you were a broke college student and nowhere else. But right now you would rather perish than your mom catching you with a boy in your room.

“Your parents?” Denji asked wide eyed as you nodded your head, running to your window, pushing it open.

“I am… so sorry but you have got to go. Run around to the side of the house and I’ll meet you with your stuff okay.” You say as Denji nods his head, vaulting out of the bed, running to the window. He put one leg out, turned and kissed you quickly before sliding out of it, jumping to the grass below. You gasped, sticking your head out to check if he was okay just as your door opened. “Jesus, mom!” You gasped out.

“Y/n, I thought I heard you,” Your mom said as you pulled the window closed. “Are you feeling okay?” She asked as you nodded your head.

You snuck out the front door about fifteen minutes later and ran to the side of the house. Denji was waiting there and startled when you finally came around.

“Sorry,” You apologized, handing him his stuff. He wasted zero time dropping the stuff you handed him, hands sliding on your cheeks to bring your lips to his. You smiled against his lip.

“We didn’t get to talk after,” He said after a moment. “Was that… are you okay?” He asks, your heart exploding in your chest. “I’ve never done that before… Was I good enough for you?”

“Denji…” You swooned. “You were perfect. And for the record neither have I.” You said and Denji’s lips parted in surprise.

“Really?” He asked as you nodded your head. He swallowed, letting out a breath. “You were heavenly…” He said, making you blush.

“Alright Mr. Chainsaw Man… you really need to go.” You laugh as Denji pouts.

“When can I see you again?”

“I’ll leave my window unlocked.” You say and watch Denji’s face erupt in another glorious blush.

“No… I have to take you out properly before I sneak into your room again.” He says as you laugh, biting your lip.

“Alright… plan something, I’ll be waiting for your text.” You say and Denji nods his head, kissing you one last time before leaving. You shake your head laughing, as you head back inside. You grab your phone from your room and scroll through you and Denji’s messages until you find one of his shirtless pics, you send it back to him with the caption, new lockscreen <3.

#chainsaw man #denji #csm denji #chainsaw man denji #denji x reader #denji x you #fem reader #csm x reader #chainsaw man smut #denji smut #chainsaw devil

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power-up-girl · 25 days

Text

a little one shot on the great smiling critters space riders au created by none other than the one and only @onyxonline

Inspired by this post

Catnap's aroace panic...

The riders returned after an amazing totally not hideous mission with yet another one of the poor victims of the prototype cult,

She was a poor mid aged grizzly bear, she was hysterical half an hour ago, until bobby sedated her, the bear felt sympathy towards the lady.

Later on , when they arrived, bobby and crafty took the lady to get started with her therapy, whilst bubba and piggy went to fill in some reports about the mission, the only ones left were the field riders aka dogday, catnap, kicken , and hoppy,

They decided upon going to the eating area , one might call it the cafeteria, as they sat down on one of the tables after they ordered their meal , hoppy spoke.

" man, that was a mission alright!, I am exhausted! " She sighed, kicken then replied

" yeah , so much for it being an investigation mission... " came out the strained voice of kicken , as he placed his forehead on the table , just hoping to rest.

Dogday just giggled at his teammate's antics,

" oh come on guys , it wasn't all that bad !, other than almost getting our heads blasted , or falling of that cliff and getting stuck in the quick sand , it was smooth! " His friends gave him either a 'seriously?' face or ' WTF? ' face, he then laughed nervously while rubbing his arm, then he sighed,

" alright, maybe you're right , it was a total bust, but we still succeeded in it! " He smiled, putting his hands on his hips, his friends sighed fondly while shaking their heads with a small smile on their faces all together,

" our meal seems to be taking a while... " hoppy raised an eyebrow while glancing over to the counter.

" yeah ... , they seem busy too , no wonder it's taking time " kicken turned his head to side to look at the staff , head's still on the table ,

// I'll go check it out // signed catnap as he walked over to crowed ,

Turns it wasn't a crowd waiting for their meal , it was some staff and riders watching , as a rider was flirting with the staff, so catnap made his way over and shooed everyone away, and he then tapped the rider on his shoulder and sigined,

// could you please stop flirting with the staff ?, some of us are waiting for their food.. //

he didn't wait for the rider to answer as he turned to the staff and nodded them t to continue their work , and they quickly did,

but the rider didn't leave him, and did the one thing he shouldn't have.

" well if you were just jealous you could've said so , .. darling ~ " he then took nap's hand and kissed it,

Catnap's hair stood up and he froze, a look of pure horror replaced his calm features, and the rider thought it was a sign that he was right in what he said and proceeded to continue his flirtting

" so I was right then!, but who am I to turn down such a gorgeous face like yours ~ " the rider purred seductively, then he placed his other hand on the cat's waist,

Meanwhile the other three were chatting as they waited for catnap to come back, dogday ,fortunately glanced to check on his bestie and saw what was happening, he quickly got the attention of the other two, and pointed at the scene, kicken then whistled and said,

" looks like naps, finally got himself someone ! " He chuckled, hoppy chuckled alongside him, dogday smiled but felt something was wrong, the three forgot their cat friend was aroace at the moment, as they watched the show from afar ,

Catnap felt a shiver go up his spine, as the rider looked at him , he forgot how to sign and felt as if his throat was clogged!, he quickly looked over to his friends and judging by their expressions they saw his distress ,

As catnap looked towards them , they knew that he wasn't by any means enjoying it one bit, and suddenly the realization hit them like a wall of bricks , they remembered he was aroace and what he's having right there is an aroace panic,

' oh shit !.. ' they thought at the same time and looked at eachother as they looked back at catnap , they saw the rider leaning in for a kiss !?!,

That was the last straw and catnap did what he was supposed to do the very first time the rider touched him,

He screamed, a scream full of absolute terror, and he quickly pushed himself away from the rider and yelled,

" WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU !?!! , STAY AWAY FROM ME !! , AND DON'T TOUCH ME AGAIN !! " Catnap yelled at the rider and let out a venomous hiss, and quickly walked away to his friends ,

They were looking at him with a worried look as he sat down and hugged himself,

" are you ok naps? " Dogday asked softly, he wanted to place his hand on his bestie's shoulder but he could clearly see that catnap doesn't want to be touched,

// just great.. // he signed shakily and rubbed his arms

" where's bobby when you need her ?" Kicken sighed heavily ,

" hey it's ok ! , we can beat that asshole for ya ! " Hoppy said as she cracked her knuckles,

' no leave him be ' catnap whispered, knowing his hands are still shaking , his friends heard the crack in his voice and looked at eachother trying to figure out what to do,

" it's ok to be scared catnap!, all of us have our own kinds of panic, take me for an example, I had a bi panic a couple of times !" Dogday said trying to make his friend feel better ,

" yeah!, what he said!, and besides you have us as your friends! " Kicken beamed , as he pointed at himself in (us) part,

" we will be there for you !, we'll always have you back ! " Hoppy smiled widely,

As the three said that they quickly warped catnap in a hug , and he smiled , grateful to have friends like them,

' thanks guys, you're the best ' he whispered instead of signing not because he was shaking, but because his friends were hugging him,

As they were hugging the rest of the gang came, and first one to speak was bobby,

" awwww, this is so adorable! " She smiled and went in to join the group hug too followed by crafty and piggy then bubba,

As they parted bubba asked,

" what was the hugging all about?? " He asked curious,

" oh , it was just a friendly group hug " dogday replied, as he knew this is something catnap decides to share,

Finally their meal arrived and they ate and laughed and chatted until it was time to go

|The end|

Hope you liked it!

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arece · 1 year

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Heyyyyy it’s me again lolz

Anyway I wanted to request something fun to stop me from bawling my eyes out. When you said that reader was homeschooled all I thought about is the meme like “me when my dad would yell at me when he tried to help me with math” Could you please write something about that 💀

♤ a/n: When I tell you this had me absolutely losing it. A core childhood memory that even reader can't escape from. It's rather short but I just had to write in the short time frame I had available. Send any requests you have in! heart to heart masterlist here!

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You were completing your last year of online school and you swore you were about to end it all at this very moment. Even taking college level math wasn’t helping, quadratics was a hell within itself.

Here you were, seventeen years old being trained by the deadliest hitman known - the fucking Baba Yaga - and you were close to crying over math. You’d rather do back-to-back sparring sessions with John, take on your own assassination job, you’d even rather get hunted down by the Spade’s again.

Since when did math use this many letters? Have these many rules? Why were you even learning this, how would it ever be used in the life you’re living? Your mind flashed back to the old man rant John went on, explaining how useful it could be, especially when shooting across long distances.

You huffed, throwing your pen to the side of your scribbled out notebook. You were shooting far just fine without fucking quadratics. Even Dog could sense your misery, curling up by the foot of your chair.

You’ve been holed up here at the dining room table for a good three hours trying to solve a measly four step question. It was looking like you’d miss your later training session with John, he’d never let you ditch class work for learning his skills.

Your dramatic groans worked like a charm, John sensing it from whatever dark corner he was hiding in, “why are you still here, training begins soon.” You threw your head into your hands, rubbing them over your face with a drawn out grunt, “quadratics.”

He leaned over behind you, attempting to make out your illegible writings, “what?” You lifted your notebook, practically shoving it in his face. “Quadratics,” you stressed. He grabbed the notebook from your hand to stop you from practically suffocating him with it.

“You’re stuck on a math question?” His judging tone had you immediately on the defensive, huffing out in annoyance. “Try it again, I’ll help you.” He hands back the notebook and you rewrite the question a bit neater.

The pressure of him staring over you while you stared blankly had your back tensing. You begin to add two numbers together before he cuts you off with a quick, “no.” This happened a few more times and you practically ripped the paper while angrily scribbling the wrong answer out.

“You aren’t even helping, you just keep saying no.” Your annoyance was quickly transforming into anger, rageful tears burning at your eyes that you refused to let fall. “Not even worried about it,” you grumbled to yourself as you rewrote the question for the hundredth time.

“No-” You threw the notebook in his face and violently shoved your chair back, knocking him back a few steps with it. “Since you know what you’re doing, show me how it’s done,” your face was beet red, fists clenched tightly to your sides.

John sat down now looking over the question in your previous position. You watched sharply, intent to make him feel your uncomfortable stare burning into his back like he did for you. He didn’t even try to write anything before turning to you.

“Since when did they change math?” The edge to his tone holding an accusing lit as if it was your doing. “How should I know?” You threw your hands up, now more than okay with failing just for this to be over.

“It wasn’t like this when I went to school,” he held the notebook up, like having it closer would magically give him the answer. “Yeah, and that was how long ago?” John ripped the paper in half slowly, you watching on in shock.

He leaned down and offered it to Dog, who gladly ate it. “Now your dog ate your homework.” He calmly left the room before the urge to break a chair, maybe even the table, tempted him further. You let him leave, completely baffled. You decided not to tell him that the work was in fact online and not on paper.

Who knew math could bring such violent anger out of a person?

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taglist: @khaleesihavilliard @ihatemyselfmorethanmydepression @tamnight @hesvoid34 @scarletmeii @romanreignsluver1 @wi1steria @not-a-big-slay @howlerwolfmax @mizzy-pop

#john wick x reader #john wick x you #john wick x fem!reader #john wick #platonic #fem reader #john wick father figure #fanfic #john wick imagine #john wick one shot #arece drabbles

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munchflix · 6 months

Text

MUNCHFLIX - FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S

IMDB BLURB: A troubled security guard begins working at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. During his first night on the job, he realizes that the night shift won't be so easy to get through. Pretty soon he will unveil what actually happened at Freddy's.

WARNINGS: It's pg-13 dude.

RATING: It's not horror, but it is FNAF.

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER:

Munch: SO it's time for us to watch Five Nights at Freddy's. I previewed this last night but Biscuits refused to watch it until now.

Biscuits: I don't have any tequila, I'm sad about this. I do have whiskey.

M: I unfortunately must remain sober. Everyone seems to love this movie, I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm just a curmudgeon.

B: Dude it's five freddys at night. It's like that wojack meme of them pointing at freddy. It's him, the fredbear from the night. By the way this movie was announced 8 YEARS AGO. A time when I was still invested in FNAF lore.

M: I admit to knowing a fair amount of FNAF lore myself, but it kinda ends after the 3rd game because I stopped caring. Oh yeah the movie.

B: What's happening?

M: A security guard is going through some shit. It's incredibly dark. You can almost tell what's happening. He's gonna get his face eaten off by a freddy head. As is par. To make you think this is a horror movie.

B: The new Saw movie looks great! Bold choice to do a crossover with Five Nights at Freddy's.

M: I do like the look of things. They did a good job of recreating the pizzeria in all it's glory, it's very accurate.

B: Blumhouse because of course it is.

M: The opening animations an obvious nod to the games. There are SO many.

B: I like the funky synth music. It's no Toreador March, but….Josh Hutcherson has emerged from a decade of irrelevancy! Formerly known for his critically acclaimed role in Trapped In An Island with Josh Hutcherson.

There make be snakes!

M: He's a decent dude, he should have had the fame that Jennifer Lawrence had. Josh, I mean MIKE, has a sister he has to take care of and he's a security guard at…some mall. Doesn't matter. He's into dreams.

B: He hasn't aged a day, he's just acquired some facial hair. Now he's chasing some kid and his dad, he thinks he just witnessed a child abduction but actually…

M: He just beat the shit out of some dude for no reason. And now the employment department!

B: This is the kind of discrimination single dads face on a daily basis, Josh.

M: And now Matthew Lilliard, who is COMPLETELY SQUANDERED in this movie. He has never put less than 1000 percent cunt into every role and they wasted him.

B: Two months at a job? Me too, Josh.

M: His uh…job counselor is kinda sus.

B: Listen bud you have limited job options, join the club.

M: Are you suggesting we get a job at the FNAF pizzeria?

B: I wish all job counselors were this honest. The hours are bad, the pay is awful…

M: They keep not saying his last name which I guess is supposed to be a twist so we think he's Mike Afton but the twist is he's Mike Schmidt. No spoilers tho.

B: The twist is he's Michael Myers! He has a weird little sister and she does creepy things.

M: Possibly psychic. Very sixth sense going on here. Mike has a bit of a pill problem and somehow can go to sleep listening to the most annoying bird sounds in all existence. ASMR you're trapped in an aviary.

B: I remember this part of the FNAF lore. Where he has a little brother who gets kidnapped. Is this canon? I think they made this up for the movie.

M: It's not.

B: Why does he have a child?

M: It's his sister.

B: So his parents just popped out another one 20 years later???

M: Sure, why not. And now the awful Aunt and the best character in this whole movie. DOUG the lawyer. I love him. She wants custody of the sister, Abby. Mike doesn't want this. He's kind of a jerk about it though.

Doug is the most relatable character in the movie tbh

B: There has to be some sort of like…inciting factor. We gotta have some reason why he's gotta work at five nights at fredericks. He's gotta keep custody of his sister. Finally, Five Nights at Freddys is in the Five Nights at Freddy's movie. If I'm in the movie theater with my five year old son, he doesn't care about Josh Hutcherson! He wants to see the funny guy from the youtube video!!

M: Well TOO BAD! Because there's a lot more Josh Hutcherson than Freddy's.

B: What year is it?? It's implied to still be the 80's but the place is all closed down and they have an old looking tv? They gotta keep it ambiguous or people would start talking about the bite of 87 or whatever.

M: There are so many easter eggs. The celebrate poster from the game, the fucking desk fan, the training video, I could go on and on.

B: This training video is def 80's. This technology existed in the 80's btw, the government was just hiding it from everyone. Actually they're alive because ghosts and not lithium batteries but…What a great analog horror video. I'm subscribing to this channel.

M: Balloon boy jump scare! Nothing ever happens on night 1 though. So Mike is just gonna take a walky and then take a nap.

B: I can almost see anything in this fucking movie! It's so dark! It's like watching a Zack Snyder movie. Maybe in a theater it would look better...?

M: I really think it's just the fucking death of film lighting period. I do think the animatronics look good. They look really damn good.

B: They looked kinda crap in the trailer. Sleempy Mike. Now he's having more PTSD nightmares about his brother getting kidnapped.

M: But wait! There's more chilluns! In his dream, as is normal.

B: We're the children from the FNAF who got murdered.

M: You are correct. 6 am reference! Time to go home. Mike isn't paying his babysitter.

B: It's nice to have a girl who will watch his sister for free. I assumed they died in cancer/plane crash. Sparky's is a reference. That's MatPat.

M: The babysitter is sus. And her other friend and the evil aunt are having lunch while conspiring against Mike. I love Doug.

B: So the Aunt is like…the villian…the antagonist character?

M: I mean…sort of. It's possible she's in cahoots with Afton on some level but it's never confirmed. Back at home Mike is being a terrible parent again and Abby wants to go to FNAF world with him but this is a really bad idea. Now…if you were a criminal….and you wanted to make Mike look bad, when would you go trash the place?

B: When he's there.

M: Thank you. Mike is asleep again.

B: Thanks Blumhouse I can almost see what's going on in the movie. How many times are we gonna see sweaty Josh running around in a forest in this movie?

M: You have no idea. He's dreaming of the FNAF kids again because he thinks they know where his brother is. One of them cuts him and he bleeds IRL.

B: Wow I was scare.

M: And now there's a cop at the door. As is also normal and part of the FNAF canon.

B: Vanessa is a reference.

M: That's not a reference, that's part of the canon! Because why not.

B: They had to put some shit from security breach in here cos it's the new one.

M: Vanessa suspiciously knows a lot and isn't giving us any info why.

B: Mike, just Mike. No last name.

M: Vanessa is here to give us some EXPOSITION. Because fuck show don't tell!

B: It's great that all these arcade machines are still plugged in after 10, 20 years.

M: This part made me have Chuck E Cheese flashbacks.

A powerful bear...named Frederick Entertainment Fazbear

B: Playing covers of popular songs was a big thing in these types of restaurants.

M: Something something some kids went missing.

B: Back in the 80's!! Could you please tell me what fucking year it is??? This motherfucker is listening to a cassette player so unless he's some kind of hipster? I hated that scene btw. Go away I hate you.

M: Unfortunately she will be here so much more.

B: So the criminals are breaking in…after he's left???

M: Yes!

B: Even if you wanted to frame him, the CCTV footage is gonna tell them when you were there! But okay I guess?? Oh there's still money in the arcade machine? It's not like they empty those every day.

M: I love the random older man who's just hanging out with these teenaged criminals.

B: He's been bustin up abandoned buildings since back in the 80's!

M: One of them finds Chica's cupcake and it does a spooky and then Chica does a spooky. Almost all the violence happens offscreen because….pg13.

B: They couldn't make this an R rated movie because it's Five Nights at Freddy's. The people who grew up with it are all adults now but the target audience remains basically the same.

M: Bonnie does a spooky.

B: I literally can't see anything in that shot! Also appreciate the attempt to get away with a huge bag of COINS, the heaviest and least valuable denomination of money you can get. You might have 50 bucks MAX in quarters.

Also Bonnie. he's cool.

M: The point is that they're all getting murdered. Offscreen. Very darkly. And yet they did not even try to bother Mike.

B: Mike left!

M: It's been two nights he's been there though!

B: Okay…I guess.

M: Freddy bites Max the babysitter completely in half. But we only see the shadow.

B: We get Plato's allegory of the cave violence! We never get to see it directly.

Also Sparky the Dog. he's cool.

M: Back at home Abby draws more pictures and Mike Mike's all over the place while she magically finds the custody papers.

B: They're watching public domain cartoons.

M: From the 80's. Vanessa shows up at their house to tell them that someone broke into the pizzeria. She found Mike's pills.

B: The year is killing me, is it the 90's??? Early 00s maybe? If it was the 10's everyone would be on their smart phones. Is this really criminal negligence?? He didn't lock the doors to this ABANDONED BUILDING!!!?? IT'S ABANDONED!!!

M: Now Mike is gonna exposit all over Vanessa about how he takes the pills to try and remember the dream of when his brother was taken in a lucid dream every night. He's very talented to have the same dream every night.

B: I really hate Vanessa, she's completely insufferable.

M: I agree. Also can I take a moment to talk about how fucking SLOW this is. The pacing is awful.

B: I don't give a shit. I don't care about your dreams. Shut up. I'm here with my 10 year old who wanted to see the funny Fazbear on the screen and he's ASLEEP right now! That wasn't even english on the walkie talkie, when cops talk on those they don't just go GNWEUIFHB98FHNWIEFNEI

M: Your son is now 10???

B: Shut up! I don't even have a son!

M: We are halfway through.

B: I do not understand. What even is gonna happen.

M: So Mike is gonna take Abby to work at FNAF but I gotta stop for a minute because…people DIED in there. Did Vanessa find the bodies? Are the bodies still there? Did someone clean them up? She didn't even mention that to Mike????

B: Who called the police to report the break in?

M: If they did, did only Vanessa show up??

B: Is Vanessa even really a police officer?

Vanessa is lookin pretty SUS. (that's still a funy joek in 2023, rite?)

M: That's a very good question! Mike is just like, you're gonna sleep and I'm gonna watch the monitors and this is a totally safe idea. Abby is well known to behave.

B: I'm sure nothing bad will happen.

M: I guess he's gonna clean up. If he was Nick Cage this would've been done forever ago.

B: He's gotta stop and have a cola and play pinball.

M: Actually, he's gonna nap! Because that's the responsible thing to do!

B: All the excitement from the FNAF games you love like DARK ROOMS! NAPPING! AND OFFSCREEN MURDER! Well I guess that last one is fair.

M: So of corpse, Abby wakes up and fucks off. But it's cool because of reasons.

B: Bro…is this the only way we could convey the story of the missing kids…80 sequences of Mike in the woods? A lot of the people watching this already know all this. This review makes it sound like I just hate FNAF and that's not really the truth.

M: I don't hate FNAF at all, but this movie is so utterly middling. We're halfway through and 90 percent of the movie has been Mike dreaming. But now he's out there and the animatronics are all there and alive and playing with Abby.

B: He's gonna fight Freddy with a chair.

M: Just like in the games. They're well known to be friendly to children.

B: Abby is a special psychic child.

M: Mike is wigging just a bit as anyone would.

B: I mean in real life they're wired to the stage so…yeah.

M: Freddy is still looking at Mike like, you're on thin fuckin' ice.

B: Wow this movie is jam packed with chills and thrills and I am on the edge of my seat right now. To quote Arin Hanson, "Just…something happen, PLEASE!"

M: I mean some dudes got killed but...

B: I couldn't even see it happening! Hey Abby wtf is going on btw.

M: Her friends she's been drawing all movie are apparently the FNAF kids because of course they are. How she knows them???

B: You'd better start believing in ghost stories Mister Hutcherson…

M: Mike is like hey remember our dead brother who died ages before you were born? You drew him getting kidnapped, so…explain. Was it the boy from my dreams? Oh it was?

B: Trying to use her psychic powers to solve a crime but all they talk about is a yellow rabbit. Exploit your sister to resolve your own personal trauma. I don't see this going well.

M: Back with Vanessa who is at FNAF for some fucking reason, Mike and Abby show up and Mike is like hey did you think to mention that there are ghost kids possessing the robots? And now they're gonna build a fucking fort. The animatronics too. This is a real thing that is happening.

B: How does something like that even right itself….?

M: I have no idea. I don't know why Mike is suddenly on board with all this. I would not be under there with them.

Everyone's just vibin' :)

B: Mike is finally asking questions he should have been asking a long time ago. Vanessa explains the springlocks because that will obviously be important later. And Vanessa, who was like YEAH FORT is now like HOW DARE YOU BRING ABBY HERE.

M: Who the hell are you Vanessa, that's something you should've asked like forever ago. Abby tries to strum Bonnie's geetar and gets minorly electrocuted but it's no big.

B: Oh my GOD. Sorry Abby, I'm kind of an asshole.

M: So now he's gonna do an even bigger asshole thing and call Aunty Shrew to come babysit and possibly you know…take custody of his sister so he can keep napping. Abby is not happy. The Pharmacist is the second best person in this movie.

B: He's doing dream magic because.. it's…you know. He couldn't just do this at night.

M: It is night.

B: It was just morning!

M: It took a really long time at the pharmacy okay. And now for the UMPTEENTH TIME, trapped in a dream forest with Josh Hutcherson.

B: But whyyyyyyy.

M: The ghost children are like, hey give us Abby and you can dream about your dead brother. And he's like OKAY. Mike kinda is an asshole. He immediately changes his mind but that's not how a deal with the devil works. The kids run around him uh…slicing him up for some reason.

B: And now he's in the saw trap where the first security guy presumably died.

M: Good thing it's slow moving. But he gets out becaus he's the protagonist.

B: Okay so…the bodies are still here. There's some gore. That's your PG-13 right there.

M: In the super secret room nobody can ever find but two people have now stumbled into. Back with evil Auntie, Abby is hiding in her room and Freddy is just there.

B: Frederick is in the house. You somehow didn't hear him enter even though he must weigh a ton. Like as much as a small car. He's murdered Auntie Jane.

M: And now the chillest taxi driver on earth who is somehow fine giving a ride across town to a small child and a giant animatronic.

I gifed the animatronics because they're the most interesting thing on screen but trust me, these gifs severly overstate how much they are in the movie.

B: How does Freddy even fit in a human sized car?

M: I don't know.

B: Vanessa is tending to Mike's wounds. She conveniently found him. They tried to kill him. Yeah…they do that. Why did you just leave the bodies there Vanessa? And why haven't they started to decay?

M: Vanessa is still not telling us shit. But Mike tells her that he said yes to giving Abby to them and she tells him they're gonna make her like him.

B: In the movie a lot of things aren't very clear. Vanessa tells us that the bodies of the dead kids are in the animatronics.

M: Like…how would people NOT NOTICE. But this is canon.

B: How does Vanessa know all this?

M: She tells us about AFTON.

B: The man behind the slaughter. The purple fellow. Okay, that's not canon that he's her father?

M: Hell if I know, I stopped following lore well before Vanessa showed up. Also somehow Afton killed Mike's brother.

B: Where did he put Garrett's body?? That's like SIX children now, are there six kids in each animatronic??

M: Vanessa's master plan is to taser the animtronics that are somehow being controlled by ghost children who are being controlled by William Afton. But she's not gonna go with Mike because Afton is her dad and stuff.

B: Let's fix that with a controlled shock. It's a good thing it's taking Abby a long time to get murdered.

M: Freddy considers murder and then reconsiders. Abby is being taken by Chica to the back room to be put into a device that looks suspiciously like the Baby animatronic. Meanwhile Mike is tasering Freddy and Bonnie.

B: I never understood what Chica did in the band anyway. Backup vocals? There's no way they could feasibly be playing this music with just one guitar. My suspension of disbelief is totally destroyed, Mister Fredbear. Don't you need to re-arm a taser?

M: Yep. But he gets Abby.

B: You've been an idiot about most things, Mike. To be fair. You should go.

M: The cupcake looks silly attacking but I do like it's design. I actually like the animatronics a lot and it would kick ass if they were like…

B: IN THE MOVIE!! For more than like 20 minutes of screen time in this two hour long movie.

M: See also, Matthew Lilliard. They squandered all the best parts of this movie. In favor of an hour of dream sequences. Abby and Mike again get separated but she hides in the ball pit and now….the best part of the movie. Golden Bonnie is here. Who is also Afton but no spoilers.

B: Me in the Dashcon ballpit.

M: Vanessa shows up 20 minutes late to the party with uh…nothing. I do love the way they did the whole golden bonnie thing. Though I'm really unsure about how he's controlling them? Vanessa apparently has a gun.

B: You're gonna shoot your undead father with a gun? Oh he's alive!

M: For now. He is also the job counselor. To absolutely nobody's suprise. (editor's note: biscuits did not at all realize this while watching the movie) She shoots daddy but somehow that isn't enough to activate the springlocks. Afton stabs his own daughter as Abby frantically draws pictures to show the other kids that he's really the bad guy. Afton gets all springlock failed and they drag him off into the back room.

B: Well canonically all this happened a really long time ago, but the movie doesn't care about the timeline. I always come back, yeah, way too many fucking times, bro.

M: And now everything is great and Abby is happy and Mike looks exactly the same.

B: The pacing is…so weird.

M: They stop by the hospital to see Vanessa and set up a sequel!

B: Well I mean if there's one thing FNAF really loves, it's sequels. This movie is so boring. Can we visit my dead friends some time? NO.

M: laughs Yeah, no.

B: Okay, movie SAVED by using the Living Tombstone. I'm amazed that they got the license for this.

M: I laughed out loud, I fucking loved it. It's the best thing. Oh Jim Henson's creature shop worked on the puppets, that explains why they looked so good. Final thoughts?

B: It's just…really lame. There's a couple cool scenes and some cool stuff at the end but the rest of the movie isn't worth it. There's so much rich lore, SO much lore, and a rich universe that they had an infinite well of stuff to draw on, but they made up this whole other plot about Josh Hutcherson's family problems and it's just…lame.

M: I just really feel like it's takes itself way too seriously.

B: Like terminally ill seriously.

M: And they squandered all the best parts of FNAF. The animatronics should have been the FOCUS. Not the dream sequences. Afton should have been a MUCH bigger part of this. There was so much cool stuff they could have done but it's not about that. All the little easter eggs for the fans are great but ultimately…pointless.

B: And again, isn't this supposed to be for the fans? For people who already love FNAF? But it's not really.

M: I grok that in order to reach a wider audience you gotta kinda do that but

B: The FNAF fandom is MASSIVE! The majority of it is just like…Trapped in Freddy Fazbears with Josh Hutcherson.

M: Fair.

B: And like…if you like the movie that's fine. For me it's just kinda meh. It's not something I would watch again on purpose. It just made me wanna watch Willy's Wonderland again. Not worth the 8 year wait time.

M: 8 years…and this is what you came up with?? 8 years and Doug was the best part of the movie? I don't hate it. I don't love it. I'm a fan of the FNAF games, I just feel like it's a massive missed opportunity and that people need to remember how to light a fucking film. I'm tired of Hollywood just giving us the most banal experience possible for whatever reason.

Munch and Biscuits out, yo.

#five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf movie review #munchflix #movie review #william afton #josh hutcherson #fnaf spoilers #steve raglan #matthew lillard

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kazachi69 · 6 months

Note

hhey just coming from melo's blog here. im not jumping to conclusions. i mean i dont agree with what you said but like bruh i cant judge cuz like i dont know your side of the story so if ya comfortable.. share your side?? if you comfortable??

TLDR: In response to that post, I ain't about all that.

I'll continue to operate as normal because I'm not so childish as to let one thing weigh on my mind forever. If you think different of me based on someone else's account alone, especially after knowing me, yall are kinda fucked up for that not me.

If you actually want to know stuff it's down there V

Well, a few month ago, when I still was good friends with Melo, I was reading out some and watching some offensive memes with them and read something out that I didn't quite like (not using the word here as it still makes me uncomfy), and then later in dms kept questioning me.

I didn't exactly know how to respond, but it felt weird since I already apologized once in call and then multiple times the day after that and tried to explain it to them later as it didn't sink until they made it. Even though I felt really bad, even if I wasn't paying attention and just reading something out loud, I thought that they would be more chill with it considering that they said the f-word, (not fuck), earlier.

Something that they conveniently left out, which I asked them about right after the voice message they sent in the last screen shot

And yeah, we were done with it after that, I apologized for about an hour and a half and then they never mentioned it to me again. If they did have that big a problem with it, they could have come to me like they had with other problems that affected them more directly, but it's not like either of us wanted to hear me say it either.

I talked to them about teasing them about certain things and what not, but they didn't say yes, or no, or even whatever. And if they were really that upset I'd think that they'd tell me about it and be more definitive instead of saying they "need to be entertained" whenever they wanted to hang out, but I did limit myself in that regard as well.

Tbh, I don't know what's happening with Glitchy, but I know they don't tolerate that stuff, but have to deal with it even if they don't like it. Idk why or what Melo's problem with Glitchy is, but it doesn't make any sense to me, and it feels like they were just hoping to hurt us. It pisses me off more that they went out of their way to go after Glitchy than they did me tbh, because it looks like Glitchy only explained to them. There has been other drama that they indirectly started when I first got to know them, but I talked them through it and helped them calm down.

This is oddly convenient as well that it's happening after *I* broke the friendship off after how they were treating me, although I could have talked to them more about it, I was really pissed at the time, and by the time I wanted to apologies, (even though I was upset) I was blocked. It seems a little unrelated, but to me, it feels like they're just trying to get back at me in some way, but I honestly don't know.

It does suck, cause a lot of people Gltichy and I considered friends blocked us without any second thought. Then again, I guess they're not really friends if they don't want to hear our side of the story or anything, so no big loss I guess.

TLDR: In response to that post, I ain't about all that.

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not-souleaterpost · 11 days

Text

ENTP CRONA DUMP

Not going back on my word, just forgot to post a dump of "ENTP Crona" stuff I planed to just post all at once in a year, but after trying to stop doing stuff like that, I just thought I post what I had and be done with it.

, the thing even I don't really find funny, but I think I have to do it to get it out and book end it. A lot of it isn't really funny, some of it may sound a bit edgy or abrasive, but it's just in good fun, still putting it under the "keep reading thing" because of the amount and shittyness of the "content" Enjoy or yeah...sorry

ENTP Crona experiencing a soul rejection, screaming in agony because of not being able to deal with figuring out if "video games are art" or "video games aren't art" is the more contrarian oppinion at the moment

ENTP Crona reading shizophrenia symptoms on google "Wow, he is literally me"

ENTP Crona fleeing into the desert, going down a hole to cry

Ragnarok "Wait, the cow already killed Medusa a year ago, why we doing this bitch shit again?"

ENTP Crona "I posted a deliberately controversial and edgy meme into the group chat again, when they all see it, I wont be able to deal with how angry everyone will be..."

Soul: "You cant just nonstop spam shit on the internet, people will think you don't have a life"

ENTP Crona: "But I kinda don't..."

Soul: "Still writting on every single subject for 10 hours straight must be tiring and exhaustive, take a break"

ENTP Crona: "But I wrote everything in the last 5 minutes

Soul: "Heh, dont like partys either? Guess reading the room can be stressful even for somebody as cool as me sometimes-"

ENTP Crona "No, I can read it just fine, just then choose to say the thing that sets the roof on fire and regret it five seconds later.

ENTP Crona trying to figure out if Maka subscribes to the theory that Holden is a child abuser himself in "The Catcher in the Rye", only if yes, to arguee that not even the creep teacher was one and it is a misreading, and its actually about idk, read it in school so cant even come up with an explantion.

ENTP Crona trying to cheer up a crying Maka, after she got made fun of for liking bad music by Soul

"No, I like Speeding bullet 2 heaven too! Well except the Beavis and Butthead skits, even I am not that contrarian"

ENTP Crona curled up in the corner of the dark dungeon, not able to face the world, cause liking Ringo Star is to mainstream now but changing to hating him is just too painful...

ENTP Crona after everyone gets confronted with their lives just being fiction

"Well actually I prefere the anime ending"

But after mostly everyone agrees

"But, actually the manga works in a certain way afterall-"

ENTP Crona during the anime only scene where Maka and Crona talk about Maka's mom - its the same scene lol, remember those 4th wall breaking snide comments Crona barely managed to not blabber out loud lol

ENTP Crona "Marvel movies were allways bad"

Marie "Oh you aren't dumb and incompetent!"

ENTP Crona "Why did it took me 8 hours to put together the IKEA table?"

Marie "Oh dont be to hard on yourself, screwing in the table legs upside down could happen to anybody!"

Maka confronting Medusa: I'm here to save ENTP Crona and Mary!

Medusa: Nah, they both are still stuck in the maze going in circles

ENTP Crona after a tourist asks for directions in Death City: "I'll be honest, even though I am living here for years now, I myself cant deal finding my home without google maps"

ENTP Crona "I'm the Joker, baby! (Jared Leto version)"

ENTP Crona "-oh so a glorbo, or smol bean, cinamon bun is a charachter like Paulie from the Sopranos!"

ENTP Crona after trying to read "Finnegans Wake" "Damn, thats how high I still have to climb..."

ENTP Crona watching X:RA "Wow, I actually get 90 percent of the wordplay! This show is great!"

MGMT Patty : "Time to pretend..."

*ENTP Crona visualising all the different ways to take out and kill the people around*

Ragnarok "And I thought I was the psychopath! We aren't even eating souls anymore, whats guipi wrong with you?

ENTP "Grocery shopping is boring and I thought about the 3 different storys I'll never write down enough for one hour..."

ENTP Crona "-and that's why the metodology that is used to diagnose diseases by only relying on a checklist of data points that may have many different origin points is flawed

Stein "I am the doctor with 10 years experience, take your antibiotics prescription and get out!"

Stein, litting a cigarete after ENTP Crona goes out after apologising "Damn, the kid may be right, shit..."

ENTP Crona be like "Actually, I think Epstein is still alive"

ENTP Crona "Yeah Myerrs brigs and Horrorscopes are the same... Because they both actually are describing something and aren't completly wrong, if you know you know...

ENTP Crona actually getting a tatoo even though it is a stupid thing to do in general, because thats the only way to remember Maka's birthday. Cause aint nobody remembering more than 4 digits...

ENTP Crona using all experience and time to reflect, to start a dramatic uplifting speech that leads into Maka defeating the Kishin with a punch- Ah wait thats just what happened in the anime again lol

ENTP Crona: "I wore a dress for most of my life, yet that is not as embarassing as riding on an electric scooter"

ENTP Crona "Oh ofcourse I'm to scatterbrained and lazy to actually finish a webcomic, that's why I included an in universe callout by a charachter, so I will stay motivated out of spite and want of being better than those, proving the mean pixels wrong!"

ENTP Crona: -the setting being the aftermath of a nuclear testing site is a brilliant synedoche of our society pre and post world war 2, how the atomic age is nearly unrecognisable, being both so much more advanced that previous incarnations do not even look human in retrospect, while exagerating ourselfs into cartoon versions of ourselfs do to paranoia and stereotypes, shared faster and faster, that we soak up like Sponges, being the perfect worker and consumer in one - in a way thats Rock Bottom, the breakdown of communication, only restored by recognising the humanity of the other, even if they look at us with even more potent disgust than we already do.

Maka: Wait, I thought these iceberg videos were just supposed to list of fun facts and triva about Spongebob

ENTP Crona: What gave you that idea, Maka?

TERF Maka: I STILL hate J K Rowling

EC: "Borat is racist-"

M: "No the joke is that he exposes the prejudices of the common american person-"

EC "against Kazakhstanis"

M: "No no- wait... you are right..."

EC: "If MF Ghost was with the culture, it would have used Phonk instead of Eurobeat"

EC: "Where the fuck is Marioh Judah?"

*EC annoys excalibur into quitting*

EC :"Im like prince, everybody thinks In gay but actually im homophobic-"

EC: "Non-cellular phones actually had their purpose - like if somebody called them, you would either know nobody is home, or the person who answered could either inform you where the one you are calling is if you didnt reach the person or just find them - also the fact it was in the same spot ment nobody lost it and could allways find it when needed and it never ran out of battery, also-"

M: "If you don't like the phonecase I gifted you just say so...

R: "Dude, dont we still use mirrors for comunication"

EC "Think Im constrained by the limitations of canons?"

TRAD Tsubaki "Well they didn't make a sign of the cross in the church, so they kinda deserved being slayn by Ragnarok..."

M "Hey you are looking down, everything ok?

EC "Thanks for caring, but the thing is, to explain it all, all the connections and reasons and evidence would make me just look more weird and whiny, and this all, including the fact that I cant even say why I cant say without being whiny and long winged is part of it...

EC "I used trouble not descending into negative loops of self pity and disgust with myself and the world... But then I just developed a hyperfixation on not-having-hyperfixations"

???? Death: IDK

EC *reading the bible* "It even predicted people obssesing over lolcows with the whole golden calf story, damn...

EC: Rip Kissinger

EC: Slouching? No, I'm just posture-divergent

EC: I do love myself - one has to love even their biggest enemy...

EC in the future:

M: Are you really ready for children?

EC: I accidentally watched a trailer for despicable me 4, and after hearing all the pandering 80s song and repetitive family hinjix humor I just thought "Oh, how cozy would this be to watch with my Kids and Wife!"

So yeah, I CAN deal with it

#ENTP Crona #Crona #Soul Eater #Au #Soul Eater Au #worst thing I ever came up with #this is it #besides iceberg uploads and links #also by the end I abriviate entp crona to ec #includes a few bonus four letter modifiers for other charachters....

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blu3stwizard · 3 months

Text

Gerudian Dashboard Simulator 2

🍷 WhinewithWine Follow

Capitan Marcus Graphitter, Mariott's head crime syndicate boss who co-opertaes with the city guard, is a nasty little thottie and just died making it clap in his own tavern

🖼 Grandiose-Aesthetic Follow

#Lascue #Knightly Adventure #Enchanting #Northwestern Vale #Breathtaking

🖋 Coralines-shameless-smut-blog Follow

Ser Sean Mar y Lyonel de Lazure x !Arranged Bethrothed Reader Imagines

Keep reading

🦐Drunken Treasure Follow

gurll this is nottt the time he was just declared missing two days ago

🎻He/Hymn Follow

So like are we *totally* sure that Duke Berdrick isn't a lich? Because like. Have y'all seen him?

💎Revivify Follow

The Duchy Necromancer when you ask him why he has to spend a minute with Berdick alone once every 8 hours

💃Eladrinking Follow

Leaving the function almost immediately after entering. call that Huanthing

🧙‍♀️Fagisterium-Ofiicial

Wait I gotta cast legend lore

🧙‍♀️Fagisterium-Official

Okay yeah this is funny

🔪Butcher-than-a-butcher

I think that not having a courtyard to dunk on some barons during balls is false advertising, and should be illegal

🏹MILFs-top-Milf Follow

So i'm on my watch as a city guard, yeah? And we've been hosting mercenaries for the past two months, so it's been hectic, i've seen some shit, don't get me wrong, but this is beyond even me. I'm on street patrol on Smith's Bend, and i see this gagglefuck cluster of adventurers just like? Enter the sewer that were pointed out by a child or perhaps a gnome. And lemme tell you. They looked like professionals. I'm talking like plate armor and magic items. So protocol dictates that i observe and not intervene, because I don't want to get my rectum mangled by some jackass wizard's spell. So they enter, sure, why not, and I decide to move along on patrol, which takes me the better part of two hours, and as I go back there, there they are? BUt they're covered in some strange viscera, and one of them is like fucking caked in blood and mucus, and weirdest part is that one of them is missing??. Anyway they don't pay me enough to bother adventurers, but like what? Girl help

🏰Marthot

the tags on this post are killing me sksjhsjaj

🐉Tiamats-head-game Follow

hey would that not be the guys who felled the sewer hydra

🐄Cowmomma Follow

Yes! They are called The Songbird Brigade, and they were also present at the Lazuli Palace Gala recently. they seem to be closely associated with both Lord Commander Creagan and Jacynthia's bethrothed, Krugan. Supposedly, they were also present at the great knighting of Ashenaide crisis

🎇Beric-the-Cleric Follow

So what happened to the last guy? Wouldn't they at least recover his corpse?

😈Thiefling Follow

maybe the sewers orcs got him?

🎇Beric-the-Cleric Follow

the what?

🐈Nekomancer Follow

🧙‍♂️BlizzardWizzard Follow

Hey guys they're actually called the Nightingale Company

⚔MILFs-top-Milf Follow

what happened to my post

🐐GOAT-knight Follow

Wake the fuck up sheeple. New archeological dig reveals the remenants of a long forgotten civilization from before the giants, along with what seems like an attempt to create an artificial god

✨Blame-Shift

and Marcianno Kordessa's third volume of Encyclopedia Geneticae STILL isn't out

#unproductivity king #go girlie give us nothing 💪

🌹Maidone

Need me nepo-dick from a cringefail Ashenaidean knight

🐙Blundersea Follow

🦈Elf-on-the-shelf

🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀

🐙Blundersea Follow

kys knife-ears

again. campaign meme. don't worry everybody

@zoomire @no-comment-data-missing

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yowlthinks · 7 months

Text

Numbers Game

Something happened today in the way of mixed age social group dynamic and I am still thinking about it. The key question I am still struggling with is what is better, what is healthier (for all the participants): segregate the participants by age with lower and upper limits, or just let everyone who wants to be part of the group be there? And then if we say "better", for whom exactly is it better?

A few days ago a massive GO fandom WhatsApp group was founded and pretty soon it swelled to nearly a 100 participants globally. Did you know you could reach 1500 (one thousand five hundred) unread messages in a group by just not looking at your phone for a couple of hours? Neither did I, but now I know. Anyway, it was lovely, just as this whole fandom is, and among all the one-liner chatter there were some really nice more in-depth discussions about life. It was a little overwhelming, but I liked it.

Now, the age of participants varied, you could see that straightaway, but that was not a problem, because it wasn't like there was anything in the discussions that you could not discuss with a teenager. But then today the inevitable question of "how old are you" came up and apparently some members were shocked to find out the age differences. When you're 36 and a 16 year old asks you "What are you doing here?", I'm not gonna lie, it stings a little.

You want to turn around and tell them that in those 20 years since you were their age you have not, in fact, disappeared. You still read and write fanfiction, enjoy a good meme and generally are allowed to have fun. Yes, even if you have a job, kids and all those other adult things. Especially, because you have all those other adult things and they weigh on you, but you are still you and it is good to remember that. You want to turn around and scream that you are not "old and boring". That you need that little happy corner to dive in and let yourself go happily unhinged over fictional characters. And you have every right to do it.

But then I guess, if you are 16 and you have this fandom where you run away from school, parents and teen angst, you want to have this as your own world. You think people who are in your fandom are essentially all more or less like you. And finally someone understands, someone knows your suffering!! And when it turns out that apparently there are people closer to your parents' age enjoying these same things, well, it feels like a betrayal. Like some sort of spies infiltrating your fortress of happiness, and you want to turn around and shout at them. How dare they take this from you?! You are already going through so much, and now these old boring people dare to steal this one happy thing from you?!

The thing is, Internet is great at mixing people and bringing them together. And fandoms are a place where discussions happen, which wiuod never happen in real life. And to get those discussions, it is good to have different perspectives, and yes, this diversity includes diversity of age.

It is also good for teens to know that life does not end after 20, or 30 or 40. Or even 50, or 70. Life only ends when you die. And there is noone who should police what you enjoy as long as you are doing this without harming others. You do realise that the first modern fanfiction authors are pushing 70 and 80 now, and can you honestly tell me that these people suddenly lost their ability to imagine and enjoy the things they love? I bloody well hope not, because being ale to enjoy what you love is what makes life worth living. It is just a little uncomfortable to think your gran is probably not averse to reading or at least imagining Kirk/Spok stories in her head, yeah, probably saucy ones too. This thought doesn't really fit the narrative, so you push it away. But knowing that it is possible, makes the thought of being an old person a little less scary. "I will still be me".

Anyway, long story short, there is now a separate group. It is smaller and also devoid of stickers (did you know WhatsApp has stickers?! I had no clue, I don't know if it is a generational or cultural thing, but whatever), and I hope it will be a joyful place and full of discussions.

That "what are you doing here?" still stings a bit. But I guess, it is the right thing to let the teens have space wherever possible, they are going through it all, so let them be.

And hey, look at me, having fun on Tumblr, coping with being in my mid-30ies so well.

#fandom #age #social dynamics #thoughts

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tonysaintborgi · 9 months

Note

Genuinely I'm so surprised how annoyed I am by seeing the European dance memes. I saw it for the first time less than 12 hours ago how is it possibly overdone already?!

It's literally vanilla extract all over again

it's literally going so quick I didn't get a chance to be annoyed?? which is a new speed record. i went from going "that's mildly clever yeah" and then i scrolled down and like two posts later was one of those kind of "jokes" you see tumblr users make when the source has been drained of humor but people still wanna be making jokes and getting notes about it like. like. how do you guys do it. how has the meme life cycle become so accelerated that within 15 minutes of seeing the funny thing I'm running into multiple posts that absolutely lack a punchline beyond being a reference to it. and i know my own posts suck; glass houses and all that, the most i should throw is aquarium gravel, but like... damn yeah

I'm praying to god something significant to the zeitgeist happens very soon lest we be subjected to this meme for the next two weeks. like mitchy m baby please die of chronic racism poisoning or something so we can move on and I don't need to spend the next two weeks scrolling past non-jokes because unlike It's Me The PS5 or Vanilla Extract or It Was A Gougar you Know this meme is not going to be filterable whatsoever lmao

edit: and the worst part is I'm not even annoyed! i really ain't! I'm more flabbergasted that meme acceleration has picked up SO MUCH that a meme is basically dead on arrival these days! because back in my day we would take pictures of cats in the middle of jumping and title it INVISIBLE (object) and that joke lasted us years

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vote-loki · 5 months

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Not to like “oh woe is me” post but I feel like I can vent on tumblr since it’s idk tumblr. But I was SO excited for my final semester of undergrad this summer and then almost immediately after I got here in August I began struggling very deeply in ways I have never struggled before. Like confused 24/7, missing assignments because I was too tired to even get out my phone let alone my laptop, forgetting everything including what I’m doing or where I’m supposed to be and even classroom locations on a campus I’ve been at for 4 and 1/2 years. Losing things constantly, randomly loosing grip strength and dropping things, horrible brain fog, waking up feeling like I’m shaking 24/7 but everyone telling me I’m not shaking anywhere when I ask, issues walking, dizziness, vertigo. I’ve been having such extreme fatigue I can’t even get out of bed to pee until it hurts because I’m just too tired. This has been happening since August. Which I assumed this was bad depressive episode so I had them double my antidepressants, and then nothing got better.

But then like two months ago I woke up with this pain in the left upper corner of my right eye. Just a spot the size of my fingertip. And it had me in so much pain I was throwing up. So I thought “I’m a big kid, I have migraines like this all the time.” and I took some of my medicine for that. But it didn’t go away. It lasted for a whole day. When it came back a few days later I decided maybe it was sinus pressure, so I took some allergy meds and some cold meds for a week while it was hurting off and on. But that didn’t work. And then it came back and I got a migraine over top of it. So it wasn’t that. And FINALLY last week it got so bad I couldn’t see out of my eye, the pain had been constant for about four days, and I was so dizzy I could barely walk. So my mom drove an hour out of state to pick me up and an hour back down to take me to the er, who promptly sent me to their on call opthamolagist who, after a serious of very very bright lights directly to my hella dilated pupils, told me my optical nerve is swollen and I need and mri.

Which is FUCKING STUPID that my optical nerve is causing me this much pain. But whatever.

Anyway the day after I went to the er and saw the eye doctor I had a follow-up with my primary care physician, and he said “oh yeah, they’re gonna want that mri urgently. We want to make sure you don’t have ms. Your symptoms are consistent and optical neuritis is often one of the first things ms patients experience before diagnosis.” like girl? If I have ms that chose to present itself by incapacitating me to the point I am failing my final semester of undergrad, and may not be able to fix it, I am going to lose my mind. It couldn’t have presented itself six months from now?????? There’s no confirmation it’s me yet until after my mri, but still. Whatever this is has me pissed tf off. Show up at a different time.

All that being said. Here’s a meme I made about it using a screenshot from one of my fave vines because I’m actually coping and not at all having a sort of hypochondria spiral and doing as much research on it as possible. That would be weird.

#no but actually when googling symptoms I have like 90% of the ‘common early symptoms’ of ms.#anyway like. whatever witch cursed me???? I’d like to be uncursed now.#I also have been having these like random spasms where I throw my arm??#the best way I know how to describe it is it’s LIKE a tic except it doesn’t repeat so I know it isn’t a tic #it’s more of a violent twitch. AND my right eyelid has been bugging out and twitching like crazy.#there are other symptoms but I really just wanted to vent #actually no the numbness in my hands and feet sucks donkey dick #there isn’t anything wrong with having ms like in a real way. it’s just when it chose to present itself is so upsetting to me #I really wish it could’ve happened after I finished my semester #this is so unfair that my future might be jeopardized just because my doctors weren’t listening to me in august #I’ve been saying this is happening and it’s LIKE my depressive episodes and LIKE my migraines and LIKE when you get really bad sinus #pressure but I’ve also been being abundantly clear that these aren’t normal symptoms for me when any of those things #I’m TOO tired for it to bed my depression. especially with everything else.#it’s not sinuses and I have had migraines ontop of it and that pain stayed constant.#and if I didn’t listen to my doctor when he was it was nothing maybe I’d be being treated already. maybe it wouldn’t have destroyed my fina #semester of undergrad. dawg I just wanted to graduate college.#long post #vent #personal #adding generic tags so people who filter long post or vent in the tags don’t have to see

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stusdollface93 · 1 year

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Scream house meme part 2. Part 1 here

Inspiration 1 and Inspiration 2

After a long laugh from the hypothetical divorce, the scream siders are relaxing in their own ways. Stu is tossing an abomination ball to Billy, Sidney, and Tatum are reading penstagram posts, Randy is sitting with Lu as she craves her palisman some more. Randy starts thinking as he's watching Lu.

Randy: I'll probably never get married. *he states as he lays his head in Lus lap, interrupting her carving, which annoys the brunette witch.*

Sidney: You know, my dad married his best friend. *She smiled, trying to get Randy to move off of Lu, but it made Stu turn his head quickly, giving a glare to Sidney.*

Randy: Oooh, really? *he gets a sly smirk on his face*

Lu: *still annoyed with the antics that Stu put her through* Don't even think about it, Meeks! *Stu has already jumped over the couch without Lu noticing the glare getting worse as he watches Randy.*

Randy: *The sly smirk just grows as he looks up seeing Stu* We don't have to do it, but I'm still gonna think about it.

Before Stu could grab Lu and run with her, his parents came downstairs wearing some formal clothes heading for the door.

Stu: Dad, where are you going? *He keeps his eyes on Randy just to be safe.*

Mr Macher: A business associate is marrying his best friend. We'll be out late. Don't wait up.

After Mr and Mrs Macher leave, Lu gets up and gets ready for the insanity going to happen by moving to the couch.

Randy: SEE! YOU CAN MARRY BEST FRIENDS!

Lu: You are disgusting. I am not marrying you! I just got hypothetically divorced not even two hours ago!

Randy: *Jumps onto the couch, smiling.* Yes, you are, and we're gonna kiss each other.

Stu: No you're fucking not Meeks. *He growls, sitting himself between Lu and Randy as he hands Lu her palistrom wood.* You forgot this.

Randy: And we're gonna be holding hands while everyone throws rice at us, and you're gonna smile. *He's trying to peer over Stus shoulder to see Lu better*

Lu: I'm not smiling! *She yells as Billy, Tatum, and Sidney start laughing.*

Randy: *Rushes to sit in front of her.* You better fucking smile.

Stu: *Getting fed up with Randy pushing the boy away.* Okay, there's something wrong with you.

Randy: *Pulls Lu up by her hand.* Then, at the reception, we're going to slow dance all night like this. *Spins the bard witch as he holds her close*

Lu: I'm not doing that, Randy. *She sighs, letting go of his hands and going back to her seat and returning to her carving.* I'm not dancing with you.

Randy: And then the honeymoon...

Stu: *Throws abomination goo at his mouth.* Stop, that's nasty. You good Lu?

Lu: Yeah. Thanks, Stu.

#scream 1996 #billy loomis #randy meeks #stu macher #sidney prescott #stu macher x reader #Tatum Riley #Scream house Au

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khaleesiofalicante · 1 year

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Hola Dani...! How are you?? How has your weekend been?? 🤗

So here's the story (it's not really that long) but it involves TLND...

First I would like to apologize for every single time I have called "obliviousness" in stories unrealistic because Holy fuck!! 🙃

So today I got this delivered to my house...

I'm a shitty photographer but it's a bouquet of red and white roses with some Christmas flowers in it, very pretty 😍 and it smells amazing 🥰

And in it there was a simple card that said, I hope you're feeling better, love... and the signature and it's handwritten!!

Also in it... a small package of RAISINS!!!

Now, I don't hate raisins but I very much don't love either... I just won't stop eating something because it has raisins in it 🤷🏻‍♀️

So I obviously texted him to thank him for such a beautiful present and I wasn't even going to mention the raisins but HE himself brought it up and I asked, why raisins? And he says:

"Because of that book you were reading where the characters expressed their love by eating each other's raisins..."

To which I reply by explaining to him that it wasn't exactly like that and basically proceed to explain all the nuances of TLND Malec...

And it wasn't until hours later when I was talking to my favorite cousin that I realized (she pointed out) that he had used the motherfucking raisins to tell me he has feelings for me 🤦🏻‍♀️

No wonder I'm so chronically single, I can't tell when people like me 😭

And then I asked him, and he told me that he has had feelings for me for YEARS, he apologized for getting the raisins thing wrong and then asked me out on a date 🥺

Hindsight is now 20/20, I should have noticed because it was obvious 😫

And the thing is, I don't know if I want to go on a date with him, we've been friends for years and what if it doesn't work out??

I don't know what to do, he doesn’t even live in the country he's only here to spend the holidays with his family, although his mom told me a while ago that he wanted to move back 🤔

Wow... it was a long story 😬 but yeah, that's it, that's the thing that happened to me...

What would you do?

Soy amarte mucho mucho siempre 💚💚💚

I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS AND I WILL BE SHARING ALL OF THEM. A LIST IS REQUIRED RIGHT NOW. VERY MUCH SO.

First of all, I squealed at this whole thing. Wtf. I don't squeal. I only *makes dragon noises*

Red and white flowers are such a good combo. (i find them very catholic but okay that's just me). ALSO HANDWRITTEN NOTES? OKAY THEN.

"feeling better....love. AMOR. WHAT. OKAY.

AND NOT THE MOTHERFUCKING RASINS OMG? WTF? TLND BRINGING PEOPLE TOGETHER. I NEED A NETFLIX MOVIE RN.

Also this man is the 'he might be a little confused but he got the spirit' meme

ALSO YOU OBLIVIOUS NUGGET I CANNOT

*more screaming*

Okay. Okay. As to what to do now. You should obviously do whatever the fuck you want. Duh. You're smart. Amazing. THE best. You'd make the right decision!

*clears throat carefully* but if I may, this guy seems so sweet. (but he is still a guy ew). For me, the two most attractive qualities in a person are 1) paying attention to the things we're passionate about (i can't believe he remembered the raisin thing!!) 2) giving a shit (the gesture was so romantic i always thought what in the lightwood-bane is going on lol)

I know that you are worried about the friendship. That's a very valid concern when you start dating a friend. But here is the thing. If it works out, it works out. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Sometimes when it doesn't, it's a little awkward. That's very normal.

But I've noticed some guys act like a dick about it. Like, 'if you can't date me, i don't wanna be friends with you' or whatever. And if this guy is like that, if it someones who acts like a child because you both tried something and it didn't work out and you decided to move on as adults, then this guy is not not worth being your friend OR your boyfriend.

But if it works out, then that's amazing! If it doesn't and you decide to be adults about it, that's even more amazing! Because are there are no 'what ifs' and regrets.

As I said, it's up to you. I know you are dealing with a lot right now and this year has been difficult with a lot of ups and downs, so when good things come your way, it's important to seize them and give it a shot.

I hope you know you deserve ALL the good things. This guy kinda seems good so 👀

Anyway. I love you and I'm so excited for you!!!

#this gave me so much serotonin you don't even know oof #alex babygirl

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abigail · 7 months

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Pls i must know ur thoughts on saw x!!! <3

hiii !!! omg okay so. I just got home and I got out the cinema maybe an hour or so ago.. so this is just gonna be me emptying my brain with my first initial thoughts on it !! I might have actual formed opinion and thoughts in a few days or after a second/third viewing but ok here we go !!

spoilers ahead (sorry) (also very long lol sorry)

John Kramer, life coach ?? so true actually <3 idk this conversation he had with the doctor made me giggle and in that moment I was like we’re BACK !!!!

anyway the beginning dragged a LITTLE bit for me because idk I was waiting for the delicious opening trap they always do and then when we finally got it, they basically edged us because it wasn’t actually happening and cut off OUGH evil. I wanted to see it so bad damn.. also - i find it interesting how in johns daydream about that man in the trap he imagined him doing it but still getting his eyes sucked out like.. my man is a sicko !! I know he wants to do well with his traps (in his own special way lol) but the fact he is imagining the man partly (?) failing is.. something. love him regardless like that’s my grandpa but I do find it interesting how when imagining someone in a trap he’s not even imagining them fully succeeding with it .. hmm anyway, the guys eyeballs getting sucked out was well gross and in that moment I was once again like WERE BACK !!! <3 yum

quick note, I found the idea of having them all in the same room but doing separate traps very cool, at first I wasn’t really vibing with it but actually it’s such a cool idea? like they’re a group so they must be together, and usually when they’re all in the same room and it’s a group trap that’s connected somehow they have to work together somehow even if in a small way or whatever,, but in this one they’re all gonna do their own thing and just witness each other ? really interesting I liked it a lot <3

the trap of the girlie cutting her leg off was yucky but omg.. the guy cutting his skull open and picking a bit of his brain out ? fucking insane. so fucking good. truly I thought of that gordon ramsey meme of delicious finally some good ducking food!!!!! (the food is onscreen gore) if that was me though I would simply die oop- like the leg one I would MAYBE attempt but you want me to do WHAT with my skull/brain ?! yeah I’m just gonna sit in peace until my face is burnt off I guess I’m not playing your little game :/ sorry john

speaking of gore btw I kinda figured out the people were sus to begin with but when I really knew and figured it out is when they didn’t show them ‘operating’ on john,, like a saw movie NOT showing someone getting cut open and blood and stuff ?? somethings off… anyway !!

amanda and gabriella… I just know the girlies on here are shipping it and I love that for them . <3 anyway I absolutely LOVED how amanda was really emphasising with her because like. obviously she is !!!!!!!! it was just such a good touch to add.. I love amanda so much and she is such an interesting and beloved character to me and to add her just sympathising for gabriella and putting off doing her trap and trying to really help etc was so good…. also hurt so bad seeing her do it and then that cunt of a doctor kill her anyway like. truly so sad to watch.. amanda and gabriella could’ve been murder girlfriends like ?!?!?! evil. so so evil they took that from us >:-(

the end with the little boy GOT ME SO BAD.. like he’s just a little kid who has done nothing wrong fr and seeing my my grandpa so sad was so upsetting honestly I was tearing up.. he truly didn’t imagine it to go that way and didn’t want a CHILD who was GOOD to go through something he knew was gonna be traumatic even if he knew he would be alright..like it’s a lesson I suppose for him and a moment to remember for future traps for him etc but fucking ouch. loved the kid too, the way he tried to save john because he obvs wasn’t in on it and was truly trying to save his life (because to this kid, john is just some nice old man who helped him fix his bike) made me die like he’s such a good kid, I kinda hope we get to see him grown up in a future saw movie or something ?? I’m not quite sure how they could do it but yeah loooooved that whole moment

ok and finally when john was on the phone and said the word ‘detective’ I did a little yell like I hate hoffman but obviously it was him and like.. I knew amanda was in it but had no idea about hoffman and then when WE HEARD HIM ON THE PHONE ?! I was so excited to hear his voice oh my goddd it was another moment I got emotional and teared up and during the start of the credits I even turned to my brother and we began saying how good it was etc and I said how excited that bit made me and he was like ‘lol I saw’ and then my brother said ‘bet if he was on screen you would’ve cried haha’ AND THENNNNNN !!!! end credit scene hoffman shows up and besties. BESTIES !!!!! I cried. I was just so happy and honestly I’m on my period rn so that probably has something to do with it but I was just so happy and emotional and the character I HATE made me cry. insane. obviously it just for me so off guard I wasn’t expecting it and like.. these movies mean so much to be and the past two were. Not the best to say the least,, so with this one having been so good and for it to end with such a call back and reveal of hoffman being there and involved.. so delicious <3 finally some good fucking food

also ! I got so excited hearing about the mention of the doctor overseas and the woman saying it’s her dad because surely that’s a callback to saw 6 (one of my faves !!!!!!!!!!!) where john tried to get on the experimental treatment but was denied by the life insurance people ? I’m not sure I don’t have time to fact check but if so ? beautiful <33

I fucking loved this movie. It wasn’t perfect but god it was so good, it felt like an actual saw movie again and is easily up there in my favourites of the franchise, I think I need to rewatch it before saying where I’d actually rank it and to see if my feelings on it change but yeah so fucking good.. an actual wonderful addition to the franchise and I can’t wait to see where else they go with any future saw movies if it’s gonna be on that kinda level again :-) BEAUTIFUL !!! <33 mwah mwah mwah

oh and yes I blew kisses to the screen upon seeing amanda btw <3 love her

#sorry if any typos I kinda just emptied this out my head lol #i

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