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#yall im so tired it has been a WEEK
rosesofenvy · 6 months
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GoldenFutureAU Arc 2 ‘Keep You Safe’ Chapter 4 is posted!
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Collab with @sha-biest - exclusive art in the fic! Check out the previous chapters and the #goldenfutureau tag for more content!
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fortheloveofexy · 6 months
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stepping away for a while. fics are on indefinite hiatus until i come back. queue will run for a while til it's out.
bye.
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squeakadeeks · 3 months
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moodboard for this past week ❤️
#they should invent a grad school thats not fucking insane#i'm hanging in there but im the most unwell i've been in AWhile#this week was just horrible#there was already the freezer food incident but it also started off with a very severe pain episode thats putting me in constant woe#even mundane motion has been agonizing which is McAwesome bc we had a lab inspection which involved moving hundreds of pounds of equipment#during which we found a blackwidow and rats which we had to deal with and was a whole thing psychologically on top of the physical toll#the new class fiasco is still popping off and i had to respond to at this point over 400 emails in the fleeting moments outside of lab#AND A STUDENT TRIED TO FINANCIALLY BRIBE THEIR WAY INTO THE CLASS ? ?? ?? ?????#then the instructor wanted to use me as a guinea pig and i had to test new circuit boards but I wasnt given any time to do so properly#i had to test them plus get them operational and deal with my incoming students all in a frantic 10 minute window#im in charge of running our meetings too but the instructor was interrupting and having side conversations that made it really hard-#to train the other people on the new equipment in a smooth manner#which meant that a bunch of people had to keep me after to ask questions which made me late for my drs appointment#where i found out i cant get the new covid vaccine bc my heart and blood levels arnt stable enough#and joanns lost an expensive+critical fabric order of mine+i had to give a big presentation this week on my research that was stressful#and my inbox is still blowing up from being needed all over the place between teaching lab and classes and yall i am. so so tired.#im in so much pain and so stressed out#debating the ethics of turning into a pile of lint to escape my responsibilities and mortal frame
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placeinthisworld · 2 months
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it’s almost peak
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onepiexe · 1 year
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ive been gone from here so long idk anybodys urls anymore oopsies
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So the biggest exam of my semester is in 59 hours and I'm too tired to do any kind of work. Please send help. This is fine.
#sorry for spamming on here but im too tired to care#chronic illness is so funn yall#ive gotten through 66% of my preparations/the curriculum so this is shaping up to be my worst semester result wise ever#which is fine. i mean it is what it is but i had a full on week long break down a year and a half ago for getting a c so this might be fun#gotta love gifted kid syndrome#what do you mean i cant just get straight As now that im only able to do like 25-30 hours work a week and also had major surgery#this semester 😲#i mean itll be fine. unless i have spectacularly bad luck i wont be drawn both in orthopaedic and kbp#and barring that i really probably wont fail or anything#i might even get lucky and get drawn in like SCa and oncology or pain conditions in which case i might even get an a but like...#im probably realistically speaking at like a D. which is fine. its fine. really.#ill just have to get comfortable with the idea and also maybe if im not too sick work some on kbp#orthopaedics can suck my dick honestly. except fractures. fractures can stay theyre alright.#fucking knee and shoulder pathology in orthopaedics however is the fucking worst and i hate the existence of both shoulders and knees wirh#a burning passion atm#he said having been unable to study for like two days and needing a 5 hour lie down after attending a 3 hour seminar earlier in the week#surely that has nothing to do with my current condition#or predicament rather#anyways yeah i love rambling in the tags when im too tired to function properly#not space
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jinkis · 10 months
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i hate everything
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#about to go on a rant cause i'm  ✨ stressed  ✨#i'm currently at the very end of my masters degree so i can be a fully qualified secondary teacher#however due to the teacher shortage i have been allowed to start working as a full time teacher and have been doing so for the last year#i love my job i love the kids i love the staff members#what i dont love is having to finish off my masters degree when i've been working in the profession for a year#i have learnt more being in the classroom for a year than my whole 7 years at uni doing my undergrad and masters#i am TIRED of having to waste my time and come up with bullshit assessments just so i can get this stupid degree#schools are on winter holidays at the moment and i am meant to be relaxing or prepping for the term ahead#but no ... i've been stuck in my room for the past week doing uni assessments to prove that i know how to implement teaching strategies#and showcase how to write a lesson plan EVEN THOUGH NO TEACHER EVER WRITES ONE WHILE WORKING???????????#i just feel really bad for the kids cause i spend all my free time doing my uni shit or sleeping cause im so drained#i never have enough time to organise things for my lessons or come up with fun learning activities#usually i just do the bare minimum and pray for a pass#but this assessment just has a satisfactory/unsatisfactory mark so i cant just half ass this shit#also can yall believe that im only half way through this assessment??????????#i still have so much more to do ughhhh#anyway if you read all that im sorry and thank you#marie.txt
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especiallyhaytham · 2 years
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.
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paint-lady · 2 years
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And tonight is the last exalted session 0! Donovan the Zenith!
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rosyblooom · 29 days
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chicken shop date | cl16 smau
pairing: charles leclerc x fem youtuber!reader
summary: y/n hosts a popular youtube channel where she invites various celebrities to have a 'chicken shop date'. in this upcoming episode, she welcomes famous formula 1 driver, charles leclerc.
a/n: all my love to amelia, i love her vids🫶🫶 also, pls lmk what u think :)
creds to @classiclitfreak for proofreading! thank uu!! :)
ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯
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ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▯
21st of March, 2024
yourusername posted to her story!
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[ caption: red 4 🏎️🏎️🏎️ ]
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[ caption: chicken shop date out on saturday!!! xx ]
[ tagged: charles_leclerc ]
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yourusername posted to her story!
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[ caption: aussie aussie aussie 🦘 ]
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, yourbfusername, landonorris and 137,923 others
yourusername i love you australia xx
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yourbfusername third pic 👀👀
yourusername 🤫 username that's suspicious...
username ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE????
username flying across the globe for a chicken shop date??? oh this is serious guys
username nah she's just rich lol username i'll be sad if they're just playing in our faces
username y/n becoming a ferrari girl was NOT on my bingo cards😀
charles_leclerc ❤️
yourusername 🥰🥰 username so the plot thickens username love u charlie🫶🫶
username y/n don't play with me rn. are you dating charles or nah
(liked by author)
username girl it's been 84 years we are tired of the games😭 username 'liked by author' WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
landonorris here for mclaren i'm hoping
yourusername i- sure! username oooh it's the lying for me miss
22nd of March, 2024
f1gossipofficial
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liked by username, username, username, and 8,239 others
f1gossipofficial After arriving in Australia last night and posting a picture hugging who fans believe to be Charles Leclerc, Y/N L/N made her F1 debut this morning during the practice sessions.
She and Charles appeared to be very close, only further fuelling the dating rumours that have been circulating the internet for the past month. As of yet, however, neither of the pair has confirmed nor denied the ongoing rumours.
view all 273 comments
username bruh how hard is a "we're dating/we're not dating."😑
username lmao are you ok?? they don't owe us anything
username Y/N as an f1 wag???? OH HOW I USED TO PRAY FOR THESE TIMES
username aw she's so pretty
username a chicken shop date episode with charles is dropping tmrw so i think it's all pretend
username oh yeahhhh I almost forgot username but travelling all across the world for that seems a little excessive? she's literally already super successful ygm username pretending for over 4 weeks is nasty work😫
username did anyone see the way he looks at her though????😍
username RIGHT?? THEYRE SO CUTE OMG😭
23rd of March, 2024
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yourusername posted to her story!
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[ caption: this is more like it 😌 ]
[ tagged: charles_leclerc ]
charles_leclerc posted to his story!
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[ caption: Lucky charm secured ❤️ ]
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, yourbfusername, landonorris and 277,004 others
yourusername chicken shop date with @charles_leclerc OUT NOW!! hope it's an uncomfortable watch xx
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username 10/10 awkwardness, I had to pause multiple times. truly hated it, keep posting more!
yourusername thank u thank u. will do🫡 username loool Y/N ilysm
username Y/N ARE YALL DATING OR NAH??? IM SO CONFUSED
username u and me both😭😭 username idc if it's delusional i'm just gonna pretend they are🥰🥰 username ignorance is bliss babe✨😌
yourbfusername wait you guys are lowkey cute🧐
yourusername *highkey username OMG IS THIS A CONFIRMATION??? WE WONNNN username just fell to my knees in tesco pls don't be joking Y/N😭
charles_leclerc Avez-vous déjà pratiqué votre français ? (have you even been practising your french?)
yourusername oui oui 😌 username she's actually got it lmaoo who would've thought💀
username LMAO Y/N not "what are we?" why are you like this💀💀
username that's so real of her tbh
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2:35 ───ㅇ───────── 7:55
The YouTube video begins with a series of clips showing Y/N and Charles laughing, with intermittent shots of Y/N looking directly at the screen. The familiar tune of Y/N's 'chicken shop date' videos begins as stop-motion hearts flutter across the screen, transitioning smoothly to a scene featuring two dolls seated in a miniature chicken shop date setting, seamlessly leading into the main content of the video.
"Charles Leclerc," Y/N warmly greets, resting her elbows on the table. "Welcome to our date."
Charles responds with a smile, settling back in his seat and gesturing around. "Y/N Y/LN, thank you. I'm very happy to be on our first date... here... with all these cameras," he remarks jokingly.
Y/N narrows her eyes slightly, briefly glancing around before refocusing on Charles with a hum. "I'm not sure what you're implying. This location is a solid 10 out of 10," she says, gesturing to their surroundings. "Besides, do you see the chicken?" she adds, plucking a single fry from her meal box and waving it in the air, awaiting his response.
"You mean the fry?" Charles chuckles, pointing. "That's not chicken."
Y/N takes a bite of the fry, pausing to swallow before clearing her throat. "I'm aware," she says with a dramatic tilt of her head and a tight-lipped smile. "I just grabbed it because I fancied a fry." 
"But anyway," she continues, circling back to the initial question, "do... you... see... the... chicken?" Sensing his hesitation, she places her hands firmly on the table. "Look at me. It's a simple yes or no, Charles."
"Well, actually, it's yes or yes," she corrects herself with two affirmative nods, before redirecting her attention back to him.
Charles responds with a smile, though his expression betrays his confusion, evident in the different angles of his raised eyebrows. "Yes, I see it, Y/N."
"And do you taste it?" Y/N asks slowly.
"I haven't yet..."
"So, what are you waiting for?" she claps her hands together, motioning towards the untouched box of food in front of him. "Don't be shy now."
Charles chuckles as he sits up in his chair and leans forward, rummaging through the food before pulling out a chicken nugget. As he dips the piece in some ketchup, his eyes meet Y/N's once more, her wide-eyed nod urging him on.
"Go on."
"Okay, okay," he says, taking a bite. "Mmm," he nods, almost as if someone were holding a gun to his head, compelling him to do so.
"Oh," Y/N purses her lips and shakes her head, "I don't like it when people make noises while eating."
"Uh," Charles swallows and chuckles, "sorry?"
Y/N shrugs. "It's okay, I forgive you."
"Anyway," she inhales deeply, "what do you think? That's some good chicken, right?"
"Yeah, actually, it is really good," Charles nods as he speaks.
Suddenly, the video cuts to a staff member in chicken shop attire standing behind the counter, wearing a smile while staring at the camera, unmoving.
Then, the video returns to Charles and Y/N.
As Charles takes another bite of his chicken nugget, Y/N casually asks, "Do you think our children will like chicken?"
Coughing sounds interrupt as Charles drops his chicken into the box, knocking his fist against his chest until the sound clears. His voice croaks as he speaks, his brows furrowing, "Our children? We're talking about children already?"
Y/N's composure cracks slightly as she chuckles, clearly amused by his reaction, and observes him reaching for a glass of water, taking large gulps. However, she quickly regains control, shrugging nonchalantly before continuing, "Well, yeah. I don't know about you, but I date for marriage—I want a little family of my own someday. Don't you?"
Charles rubs his eyebrows and places the glass back on the table. "Yes, I do want to have a family one day. But this feels like it's moving very fast, don't you think?"
Y/N shakes her head. "Not at all. To be honest, I want one boy and one girl. What about you?"
At Y/N's continued forwardness, Charles releases a laugh, visibly bewildered, before scratching at his beard in deep thought. Propping up his elbows on the table, he finally responds, "I think I want a boy."
"—And a girl," Y/N interjects, smiling expectantly.
Charles blurts out a laugh, clearly taken aback, before nodding. "Yeah, a girl too. I don't really mind."
"Great, so we're on the same page then."
The video cuts off again, this time to the entrance of the chicken shop, slowly panning into the empty and bright interior with multiple tables and chairs. The camera stops on the large menu, featuring pictures of chicken and fries, lingering for a few moments before cutting back to Charles and Y/N. 
However, this time Y/N is holding a piece of paper in front of her.
"So, I hear you're French?" Y/N glances up at Charles, noticing the grimace on his face. Quickly realising her mistake, she corrects herself, "Oh, hold on, no wait, don't kill me please. You speak French, but you're from Monaco—you don't claim France at all."
Charles laughs and nods in agreement. "Correct. I am Monegasque. Those are separate countries, yes."
Y/N purses her lips, her eyes flickering from side to side. "I know, I literally just said that." Clicking her tongue, she exhales a long breath and continues, "Anyway, what a coincidence. I'm actually trying to learn French."
Something flashes in Charles' eyes as he suddenly leans forward in his chair, his expression filled with keen interest. "Oh wow, tu l'es ? Comment vas-tu ?" (translation: "Oh wow, you are? How are you?")
Y/N freezes, her mouth parted slightly in a half-smile. For a moment, she just stares, clearly startled, before scratching the back of her neck and humming deep in thought. "Oh, okay, straight into the deep end, huh?" she chuckles and then blurts out, "Oui, oui?"
Charles tosses his head back, laughing, while Y/N folds her hands together, waiting expressionless for his laughter to subside. When he finally regains his composure, his eyes back on Y/N, she says, "Great, thanks."
"I'm sorry," Charles waves his hand in the air, "I just thought you'd know the basics already. My mistake."
Y/N narrows her gaze at him for a few moments before taking a deep breath. "Well, that's what I've got you here for." Clearing her throat, she tilts her gaze down at the paper and asks, "Let's start easy, shall we? I'm going to give you a few sentences in French, and you translate them back to me in English."
Charles furrows his brows. "Wouldn't it make more sense the other way around?"
"What can I say, I'm special," she shrugs, "I actually learn better this way."
"Ah, of course you are."
"Alright. Je t'aime."
"I love you," says Charles.
Y/N places her hand across her chest. "Aw, Charles. Dropping the L-bomb already, are we?"
Charles drags his teeth across his lower lip while shaking his head. "Next one, please."
“Veux-tu m'épouser?" (translation: "Will you marry me?")
Charles tilts his head sideways, an amused expression spreading across his face. “Seriously?”
Y/N clicks her tongue and shakes her head. “No, that doesn’t quite sound right. I think you might need to brush up on your French, Charles, because I’m pretty sure ‘Veux-tu m'épouser’ does not mean ‘seriously.’”
Exhaling a long breath, she rotates in her seat and straightens up. “Don’t worry though, I’ll give you another chance.”
Charles rolls his eyes playfully before releasing a whistle. Rubbing his hands together, he begins, “Will you marry me. That’s what it mea—”
“Charles!” Y/N's jaw drops as she interrupts him. “Well, I’m a hot commodity, you know? But I want to know, how would our marriage work? I mean, how long are you planning on racing, anyway?”
Charles smiles, slumping into his seat as he reaches for a fry and tosses it into his mouth. “I’m not sure, to be honest. I love racing and I want to be a world champion, so we’ll just have to see how long that takes.”
“You want to be a world champion, yet you extended your contract with Ferrari?” Y/N's brows furrow inquisitively. “That’s an interesting choice.”
A couple of chuckles escape Charles as he runs his hand up and down his neck, his gaze fixed on the half-empty box of food before him. After a moment's pause, he replies with a casual shrug, “They're like family to me. And honestly, when I see myself winning, it’s always with the Ferrari team by my side.”
“Fair enough,” Y/N exhales, her eyes widening as she claps her hands together. “I suppose I'll have to stock up on red outfits.”
Noticing Charles’ puzzled expression, Y/N theatrically rolls her eyes before explaining, “For our next date, silly. I’ll be your lucky charm, and then you can finally start winning and have a real shot at the World Championship.”
“Wow, how nice of you, Y/N,” Charles responds with a lazy smile. “Merci.”
“Oooh,” Y/N points at him, nodding in satisfaction, “I know that one. You’re welcome…”
“…Boyfriend?” she asks, narrowing her eyes at him. “What—what are we?”
He ponders for a moment, swaying slightly from side to side, then relents, “Okay, sure… girlfriend.”
The video cuts to the outro, displaying various polaroids of Y/N flashing by, accompanied by a text reading, ‘If you enjoyed the video, please don’t forget to like and subscribe for more! xx’.
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24th of March, 2024
yourusername posted to her story!
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[ caption: early day😴😴 ]
[ tagged: charles_leclerc ]
f1gossipofficial
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liked by username, username, username and 4,723 others
f1gossipofficial Y/N L/N and Charles Leclerc have been spotted entering the Paddock together. Numerous sources have also confirmed seeing them exchange a few kisses.
As always, wishing the drivers all the best for today's race!
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username oh we're so on
username the world is healing
username who would've thought being awkward is how to pull charles leclerc💀
username ig this means we all have a chance username lmaooo i need u to be so fr
username ugh I don't see the hype?? that video made me so uncomfortable, she's such a weirdo
username nobody cares bruh
username mhm iktr😌 we love to see it
f1
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liked by yourusername, carlossaiz55, username and 324,076 others
f1 Carlando back on the podium together! Congrats to Carlos Sainz, Lando Norris and Charles Leclerc on their wins! Huge accomplishments!
#F1 #Formula1 #AusGP
view all 248 comments
username CARLANDO LETS GOOOOOO
username aw they all deserved it I'm so happy for them😭🫶
username carlos the man that you are❤️
yourusername 🥳👏
username seeing Y/N become an actual f1 girl🤧 username please treat charles well for us🥹
username lfg 💪
yourusername
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liked by yourbfusername, charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and 263,014 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername as the french say 'soo la voo' or whatever xxx
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charles_leclerc close enough🤣
yourusername je t'aime ❤️ username OMGG??????? AHHH KICKING MY FEET🥰 username wow we've literally gone full circle🤧 username he fell first she fell harder tease🥹
username NOOOO CHARLIE NOT HER :(
username girl shut up
yourbfusername lool cuties <33
yourusername bby 🫶
username is- is this what it feels like to win?😭❤️❤️
7:35 ��──────────ㅇ─ 7:55
hope u enjoyed! thoughts are appreciated! <3
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soupyspaghetti · 2 years
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once again im being dramatic on here lmao
#vent#personal#i just like am so miserable actually#like the past week or two ive been actively sad and crying a lot#but now thats worn off and im just like.....idk empty ig but also maybe i was feeling that before too who knows#idk its all so silly but the closer i get to when im gonna have to work in person full time every day the more i feel like i cannot do that#like i know that a ton of ppl work in person#in fact most ppl do#and i shouldnt be upset about having to go into what is objectively a really cool office for a p low stress/low pressure job#but jfc i dont think i can do it like im so scared like i know no one will be masking except me for one thing#and im gonna have to interact with ppl all the time and do makeup every morning and find outfits that are appropriate for every single day#and like i *know* this is all fucking stupid champagne problems but i just do not know how im gonna cope#up till now in person work has been about three days a month and that was super damaging to my mental health every single time#how am i gonna do five days a week every week from august for the rest of the time i have this job#plus in the past it was structured stuff for a specific initiative but this will just be normal work and im gonna have to sit and focus#like rn i spend most of my work time fucking around and not being able to focus and idk what im gonna do when theres ppl watching me#and i *have* to get work done for the entirety of the eight hours im working a day#im sure ill be more productive but like idk ik this is stupid trust me i know this is stupid i just need to vent about it#and im afraid to vent in servers rn bc of my stupid brain so this is what yall get sorry#actually also while im just ranting i also am so tired of feeling so sick all the time like wtf is that#how am i gonna deal with the fact that i randomly feel so sick and out of it like so much of the time when im in an office all day lmao#ugh i also just like hate myself so much like i *know* its privileged and bratty for me to be like 'im so sad im gonna have to do *work*'#idk what my fucking problem is like i just need to....stop being so sensitive and stop getting so upset#speaking of that working full time in person will also big time cut into my daily crying over nothing hours rip#ugh i am so fucking.....not doing well slkdhfasdlkfasdf sorry again yall hopefully no ones actually reading all this bullshit lskdfhasdlkfh
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queenerdloser · 2 years
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on one hand i do hate my job and would love to leave for something with less pressure on the staff, less overtime expected, and less responsibility directly on my shoulders. and on the other hand, i hate interviewing so so so SO much and most of the jobs i want to take require just as much work or work that doesn’t sound interesting while also being a much further travel distance for me. 
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ew-selfish-art · 10 months
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The Justice League team meeting was wrapping up on the Watchtower, all major heavy hitting heroes present and involved.
“Are there any final closing remarks?” Batman asks in his grumbling tone, tired from endless family antics and the shear length of the all-hands meeting.
“Yeah, uh, actually I have something.” Phantom speaks up. He’s normally very reclusive and rarely attends their meetings. The league is aware that his ghostly titles make him hard to pin down, and in general, he’s spoken often about not getting too involved with the affairs of the living. He’s all about balance so over-stepping is something he actively avoids.
“One of you is about to die and it’s getting really annoying to deal with. This is supposed to be an accommodating work space, so like, chill it out with the flowers.” Phantom announces.
“Is that a threat?” Batman instinctively replies, not taking kindly to the inclination that a team member is in harms way and that it’s an annoyance rather than alarming.
“What? No. Dude I can literally sense Death, and while she’s cool and all, I would just really appreciate who ever it is with Hanahaki disease confess already or manage their waste better. Im not bringing kryptonite to the tower so it’s not nice to keep finding blood blossoms in all the meeting room waste bins.” Phantom sounds frustrated but all of sudden alarm bells are blaring.
Batman is processing that Phantom has been working under duress when they literally dealt with Darkseid last week AND that someone on the tower was literally dying of a curable disease.
“Why didn’t you bring this up sooner?” Wonder Woman presses, her concern obvious to everyone in the room.
“And what? Exacerbate their disease for what’s basically a really bad allergy?” He rolls his eyes. Nobody liked that.
“An allergy wouldn’t kill you Phantom you shouldn’t trivialize-“
“Peanuts and bees kill people all the time. The issue is that it’s not my place to interfere with someone dying. Death would badger me for decades if I did. So like, can y’all sort out a way for them to get rid of the flowers? Or like, if it’s one of yall, could you just confess already? It’d be a huge bummer to work with you from the other side of the veil.”
*hero of your choice coughs up a petal*
“Uh, I mean I’m the Ghost king, want me to put in a good word for you? I can try to find Aphrodite in the Realms and see if she’ll help you out?” Phantom looks equally awkward as he is excited to help.
*pairing of your choice moves forward*
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payasita · 7 months
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Good job getting ADHD medication! I’m so proud of you :D
thanks so so much im very happy and so hopeful for the first time maybe ever but also it TOOK ME LIKE. A YEAR. A YEAR.
like yall for real?? for real. for real i have been diagnosed since i was like six. (funny story my teacher thought i was on the spectrum so my parents get me tested with the nodes and shit and according to mom, who loves this story, my neurologist did all that and talked to me and then just turned to my mom and went "she's not autistic. she just hates the other kids" but they DID find an adhd diagnosis in there so net win for all of us)
diagnosed since i was SIX. on stimulants until i turned 8, and you know why i got off em? my pediatrician retired. we could not find another who would take our low-income insurance. so i just had to rawdog The Rest Of My Fucking Life. diagnosed when i was six. legally neurodivergent for 20 slutty slutty angry years.
and it still took me like. a few months to get a psych appointment. a few weeks to reaffirm my diagnosis as an adult. a few more weeks for another appointment for meds. he doesnt Want to do meds first, because i must have been doing fine without them if its been two decades, right? i got a job and a car and everything. well gee fuckin shittickers Dr. Brain Guy, just WHAT was my alternative? would you prefer i be maladapted to the point of incapacitation; is that what it takes for someone to be considered? i cheated my way through school. every day after work i sit for an hour in my car because i dont have the executive function to stand up and walk the ten steps to my house. garbage just appears around me. i have three empty bags of hot chip and two cans of sprite on my desk as we speak, neither from today. at that point i hadnt had a debit card for six months because that would have required me to Drive To The Bank, a location that was new to me in this area, so i just did everything on credit. is this all normal? is this fine? am i GOOD, actually, Dr. WeirdBrain?
so we cordially agree that yes i should probably be medicated. i want to do a stimulant. he does not want to put me on a stimulant. "stimulants can mess with your heart," he says, "and you're young, you don't want heart problems." i say ok because i dont want to make him think im just looking for narcotics. even though i am. because they WORK. i agree to try some kind of antidepressant.
the antidepressant gives me tachycardia. i go to the emergency room after reading a heartbeat of, oh, 140 bpm, which is about like double what it normally is and juuuust below the You Are Having A Heart Attack threshold. i get to the ER and the doctor there is very obviously convinced i'm a local addict having some sort of episode. it is the most ironic experience i've had all year and i feel an abrupt and all consuming kinship with those birds in australia that will swoop you and peck at your face for seemingly no good reason.
so yeah, we narrow it down to the antidepressant. as it turns out, these particular meds are known to, semi-commonly, Mess With Your Heart. i have my next appointment with my psych and somehow refrain from pecking his eyes out. he puts me on a noreprinephrine inhibitor(iirc) that isnt actually FDA approved to treat ADHD specifically(i DEFINITELY rc) but it IS given to smokers to help them quit. i dont smoke. i may very well fucking start before this whole ordeal is at the point where someone listens to me
it obviously does a combined total of jack and shit, and the man waffles with this one because he has "had success" using it as treatment for other ADHD patients. he ups the dose. twice. three months on the smoker meds, which are also apparently notorious for destroying your appetite, but they didnt even do THAT. no change to the average amount of hot chip on my desk.
he wants to try quelbree after that. i finally tell him i'm tired of this shit and would like to have more than two hours of usable daylight to function before it all falls to uncontrollable youtube shorts binges and a daily experience i like to call The Weighted Nothings and i would very much like to PLEASE. TRY A STIMULANT.
he's been friendly enough with me over these past four or five or whatever months but at this he gets suddenly very very business-baseline. gives me the whole spiel about the north american shortage. gives me a spiel about how i absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, lose or sell this medication, because they will not refill it if i do. i am sitting here wondering if he he's telling the truth about having other ADHD patients at all like ever in his career, and also, am i nuts or should the "don't sell your prescription drugs" bit apply to EVERYTHING? i dont fuckin know man i just live here
he says he wants a urine test first. its scheduled for two weeks out. i take it.
"hey uh, your piss came back with cannabis in it" "well it'd be weirder if it didn't, we are in california and i am a kitchen manager" "you can't have weed if you want adderall" "fine i'll stop" "we'll schedule you another test in a month" "aight bet" it didnt go exactly like that but this is kind of what the vibe between us has devolved into by this point.
anyway i wait a month and get a good grade in piss. i get the meds prescribed. i go to fill out the prescription
all i really need to say to you are the words "prior authorization error" for most of you to get what happened next.
the psych isnt even aware. i wait another month for our next meeting, which was yesterday. i do not yell at him. he tells me to take it up with the pharmacy, and yell at them. i am going to yell at them.
so i go, and guess what, it actually went through a while ago! NO ONE TOLD ME OR DR. FEEL-BAD OVER HERE. but we can't fill it right now because its a controlled substance so come back in a few hours. hey it's ready where the hell are you? TAKE YOUR METH AND GET OUT
anyway i started it today, reorganized my pantry, and fixed the fire alarm in my hallway that's been chirping at me for a week. i no longer have to wear earplugs to bed.
and with my newfound executive function superpowers, i will be spraying my weed-free piss all over Reagan's grave.
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uncsukuna · 2 months
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tldr: suguru as a child/early teenager and his journey as a sorcerer after he meets you, his new neighbor.
cw: mentions of vomiting, not in-depth. not edited, not beta-read, rushed, and possibly ooc suguru. gender neutral and sorcerer!reader.
a/n: sigh... i’m so tired. probably when i wake up i’ll actually edit it, but i just needed to get something out, so maybe consider this a lil teaser...? i might make a second part expanding on how he ends up going to jjt n then whenever he defects, but im absolutely exhausted rn. exams have been kicking my ass </3 + im going to a festival so this might not be edited for a lil while longer. sorry yall!
a part of me thinks suguru would live in some small, unknown little town. the people are closed-minded, content with the life they’ve built for themselves, and they don’t want it to change. if you’re born there, it’s hard to get out, especially with such few opportunities. it’s a town meant to keep aspiring little doves caged within its walls.
so imagine some six, maybe seven year-old boy going around saying he sees monsters sometimes. of course, the first conclusion any adult would reach is that the poor thing is having nightmares. he’ll grow out of it — all of them do.
but suguru doesn’t.
he’s afraid to sleep at night, and despite his parents’ pleas for him to sleep in their bed, he says that he can’t. “what if you get hurt too?”
they end up having to sneak melatonin in his dinner to get him to sleep at night.
when he turns eleven, he gets a grasp on his technique. he has to eat the monsters, consume them so that they don’t go out and hurt anyone else. that’s easy enough, right?
for the first few weeks, he vomits. they taste disgusting, like dried, crusty rags used to clean up puke and shit. but he has to do it, he has to! otherwise, who’s going to keep his innocent parents safe?
so he keeps going. exorcise, consume, puke. exorcise, consume, puke. exorcise, consume, puke.
exorcise and consume.
then, at age twelve, you come along.
you’re like the sun peeking through the dark clouds after days full of rain and thunder. a breath of fresh air, a sugary treat to balance out the saltiness of this shitty town.
you move into the once abandoned house right beside his, a radiant smile on your face and eyes twinkling with determination.
beautiful, perfect, normal.
the two of you click almost instantly, although suguru’s a little reluctant at first — what if you think he’s weird? his parents and teachers say he’s a bit troubled, nosy neighbors joke that he’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic, and bored grandmas claim he’s been touched by the devil. despite their rumors, despite suguru’s reputation, despite the fact you two are polar opposites, you don’t avoid him. in fact, it’s like those things just entice you even more.
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“suguru.”
the fear in your voice catches him off-guard, and he stops walking. your hand grips the hem of his jacket, and your finger slowly raises to point towards the corner.
“what is that?”
it’s a crude thing. skin a dingy shade of purple, stubby limbs twisted and contorted into impossible angles, and jagged yellow teeth that poke past its thin, cracked lips.
that’s when he realizes it: you can see them too.
he’s not alone. finally, fucking finally, suguru geto is not alone.
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by thirteen, you and suguru are attached at the hip. there’s not a day where the two of you don’t see each other, even when you get grounded for accidentally breaking a bathroom stall trying to exorcise a curse.
they’re so ungrateful.
he’s tainted your image. you were once normal, the cute neighbor nextdoor, but now you’re best friends with suguru, the pretty boy with the strange bangs and broken mind.
you don’t care though, and he loves that you never have.
nothing can separate you. you go to school together, take the same classes (thanks to suguru modifying his schedule), walk home together, exorcise curses together.
you’re all he needs, and he’s all you need. you’re the only ones who understand each other on a fundamental level, who know each other inside and out, down to the very last atom in your bodies.
with you, he’s sure that he can snap the chain and leave this place, to soar so high in the sky that there’s nothing and no one left but you and him.
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you hand suguru his slushie, and he takes a long sip, letting the sugar-filled drink wash away the lingering taste of today’s curse.
“sometimes, i think we’re kinda like batman and superman.”
suguru can’t help but scoff. “us? you think we’re superheroes?” how unsurprisingly childish of you.
you nod, snapping your kit-kat bar in half and taking a bite out of it. “yeah, dude! we fight alien bad guys with our superpowers. pretty cool, right?”
he leans back, legs spread and an arm resting on the back of the bench. “sure, but they always get rewarded for saving the day. what do we get?” he doesn’t wait for your answer. “nothing.”
a small frown flits across your typically cheerful features, and suguru wishes he could shove his words back into his mouth and down his throat.
“mm... i think we get stuff. we get to see our parents safe, and even if no one else here really likes us, they’re safe thanks to us, too.” the toe of your shoe traces shapes into the pavement. “we’re the only ones that can do this, suguru. it’s our duty.”
right. duty.
suguru hums, but you can’t tell whether it’s in agreement or not. you decide that it doesn’t matter, that he’s just thinking like always.
“wish i was rich, though," you joke and pop the rest of your little kit-kat stick into your mouth.
after a moment, he shakes his head and takes a sip of his bright purple drink. “me too.”
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kisses4lao · 1 year
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Jamil Jamil, hes our man! (🍋Jamil x gn!reader🍋)
Okay so this is a belated birthday gift for my beloved boyfriend <<333
I mainly based the things reader says and does over things he'd personally do but I did want to post this on here so he could read it anytime
♧CW: reader is referred to with they/them but is fem bodied, smut and comfort, probably ooc jamil bc we love it when he's soft, first time sex, reader is dealing with a lot of shit fuck and jamil Is so sweet such husband, unsafe sex, its premarital too, jamil has big pp energy so he absolutely has a big pp here, he doesn't know how to use it tho pls help this man, bath sex and cockwarming near the end btw, smut smut smut oh so smutty we love him!!!!!! Also jamil cums inside?? Idk I might do that ig we'll see LMAO, oh also pet names, oh so many pet names bc me and my boyfriend use them on eachother all the time
♤!!ALL CHARACTERS IN THIS FIC ARE 18+!!♤
♤NOT PROOFREAD yall ever proofread a smut??? Its embarrassing. Im not doing that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~~
♧ it had been one hell of a week.
Everything that could possibly go wrong, went wrong. Grim was sick beyond belief, no amount of tuna could help him stomach anything. You TRIED to buy more paper towels and better probiotics for him from Sam's shop, but you couldn't afford them because Crowley wasn't paying you enough.
Speaking of Crowley, he had to cut back on your paychecks because the school was putting out too much money for the overblots.
Ace and Deuce were over at ramshackle to help get things fixed up, but the ghosts decided that wasn't a good idea. They started throwing everything around, and one of them hit deuce in the head with a spare candlestick on accident. He wasn't okay, to say the least.
Not only that, but in Crewels class, you weren't paired up with your beloved boyfriend, Jamil! Crewel decided to pair you up with Sebek, and his loud yelling made you lose focus and fuck up the potion, earning a really bad scold from both Sebek, AND Crewel.
But luckily, it was Friday. After school. And you wanted some comfort. And what better way to get that from Jamil himself? Going to the mirror chamber, you get teleported to Scarabia.
Knocking on the door, you're greeted with the ball of sunshine of NRC, the Scarabia housewarden himself. "Hey you! I've been hoping you'd swing by, Jamil seems a little down, think you can cheer him up?" Seems like he's in the same position. No worries, you guys are always help eachother through bad times. Having kalim escort you throughout the halls, you're infront of his door, Jamils door.
Knocking on the door, Kalim yells out to him, "hey Jamil! Your s/o is here! They wanna hang out with you!" He leans on the door, ear pressed against it as you do the same. You can hear jamil yawn from the other side, seems as though he just woke up.
"Come in." He says. Kalim bids his farewell as you open the door to see your beloved. "Ah, my love, I've been hoping you'd come by." He said with a smile as he stood up from his desk. "Jamil! I'm so glad you're here, I heard from Kalim that you were upset.. are you okay?" "I'm more worried about you, dear. You've had quite the week. I've been worrying about you, thats all."
He walks over to his closet and pulls out a stick of incense. Lighting it up and putting it in a holder, he begins to walk over to you. "How are you doing? Are you okay?" He asks as he takes your hands and leads you to sit on his bed, sitting next to you after. You start to twiddle your thumbs, something he picked up that you did when you were nervous.
"I'm just.. I'm so tired... mentally, physically, everything hurts.." you say as you begin to shed tears. Jamil lightly cups your face with one hand and takes your hands in his empty one. He leaves Featherlite kisses on you cheeks as your tears start to spill, he places a soft kiss on your lips before speaking. "Honey, I know this is hard, okay? But im here whenever you need me. I'll always be here, no matter what. You're such an amazing person, everything about you entices me. You're so beautiful, and smart- and I just can't stand seeing you upset. You're so amazing, you don't deserve to feel like this, but im here for you. Always."
Looking into his eyes show nothing but love. He slowly leans in to kiss your lips. Its soft, and sweet. Perfect for him, his lips are so soft against yours. After a few seconds, he pulls away, letting a string of saliva connect the two of you as he places his forehead against yours. "I love you, never forget that." He says, placing another soft kiss on your lips.
"I love you too." You say, deepening the kiss. You begin to nibble on his lower lip, asking for permission and when he gives you it, you slip your tongue in. His mouth is sweet, warm, comforting. You just couldn't help but want more.
You can tell he was getting excited. He usually does when the two of you make out, but he doesn't say anything most of the time. He just excuses himself and takes care of it, coming back like nothing happened. But, what if you just, took it further this time? I mean, Jamil was such an amazing boyfriend, who else would you want to take your first? You knew he was a virgin too, though you have talked about sex in the past with him you couldn't help but notice how shy he'd get when you got too close.
Taking the initiative, you place your palm on his growing bulge, just to earn a surprised grunt from Jamil, followed with him pulling away from the kiss and halting your movements by holding your wrist. "(Y/n).. what are you doing? I mean, I know what you're doing, but are you sure nows a good time? I mean, like, I want to do this, I do, but, you're upset.. you're vulnerable.. I dont want to take advantage of that. I want you to be in the right mindset for this.. thats all." He looks at you with genuine concern in his eyes, but deep down you can see a hint of lost aswell.
"Jamil.. please, I need you. I've wanted this for so long and I just need a stress reliever.. please, you're the only one who can make me feel better.." tears start to form in your eyes out of sexual frustration. Cant someone just want to be dicked down by their boyfriend in peace? Apparently not in this economy.
Jamil takes a second to think, hand still cupping your face as he avoids looking you in the eye. Looking back at you, he begins to speak. "I just don't want you to think im taking advantage of your vulnerability. So, tell me you want this, and I'll give you everything I have. Promise." He says as he places a soft kiss on your forehead.
"I want this, I want you Jamil." You say with a nod. A smile shows on his face as he stands up and walks to his bathroom. Coming back after a few moments, he has some things in his hands. "I have condoms and stuff, but if you want to we can do it raw and have you take plan b in the morning? Whatever you want dear, im fine with whatever." Taking a minute to scan everything over, you answer. "Raw. Raw is better. Cum inside me too. Please." Blunt. Jamil got so red from you saying that, he starts tripping over his words, which puts a smile on your face.
"Are you sure? Like, SERIOUSLY, are you sure?? I'm just, I-I'm flattered, really, but we don't have to do this, im okay with wearing condoms, or not doing anything at all!" Jamil says as he avoids looking you in the eyes again. Instead of answering with words, you just answer by kissing him, interlocking your fingers with his, giving them a tight yet gentle squeeze. He seems to take the hint and goes back to the bathroom with everything in hand, putting it away.
He comes back looking as red as a tomato as he walks to the bed and sits next to you. Turning to you, you're able to finally be able to catch his lips into a sweet kiss again. This one getting heated quickly with your tongues dancing in a matter of seconds. You begin to take his jacket off as he slowly unbuttons your dress shirt, leaving enough open so he can begin touching your exposed skin. Slipping of his shirt, you begin to touch his chest, reveling in how toned his stomach is.
He begins to slip off your panties with one hand while the other touches the plush of your thighs. Taking the undergarments off and throwing them somewhere in the room, the takes his middle and ring finger and begins to grab slick while unintentionally brushing up against your clit, earning a loud, unexpected moan from you. He begins to push his fingers into your entrance while kissing you, swallowing and hushing your moans.
As he begins to pump his two fingers in and out of you, he takes his thumb and begins to stimulate your clit, which makes you scream his name whilst breaking your kiss. "Shhh honey, I know you like it, but we must be quiet, we don't want anyone intruding, do we?" He says with a tease in his voice as he begins sucking hickeys on your neck in private places. You still have school after all, he wouldn't want you to get in trouble.
With all of the stimulation, you can quite quickly. How couldn't you? Jamil had two fingers inside you, scissoring and curling while his thumb was rubbing circles on you clit. Coming down from your high, you take steady breaths as Jamil begins to unbuckle his belt, taking his pants and boxers off in one go.
Placing one hand on your hip as his other aligns his long, stiff member with your entrance, he looks into your eyes with nothing bit pure love. "If you ever feel uncomfortable, or want to switch positions, or stop or anything during this, just bite my ear okay? And im not saying nibble, im saying full on bite. I dont give a shit if you draw blood i just want you to be comfortable and happy, okay?" Nodding your head in anticipation, he kisses you as he slowly sinks his member into you.
It hurts. The pain is indescribable, but it quickly morphs into pleasure as he sinks in more. Jamil begins to groan, softly saying under his breath how tight you are, how you're taking him so well, how beautiful you look. Spoonfeeding you praise after praise as he reaches you deepest ends of you.
Finally bottoming out, he hugs your waist, kissing your neck softly. "Tell me when I can move, love." Waiting a minute or two to be adjusted to his size, you speak up. "You can move now." And with that, he begins to thrust in and out of you. Choked moans fill the room from you both as he tries to find a steady pace.
Jamil begins to lean down to your ear, praising how good you feel, telling you how amazing you are and telling you how lucky he is to have you. As he begins to thrust harder and deeper, he begins to kiss you. Its more teeth and tongue than anything, you're both acting like starved beasts who haven't eaten in days.
As Jamil experimentally pulls out and slams his cock back into you, the both of you groan loudly, realizing that he hit your g-spot. As he continues to go in and out of you at a rapid, yet somehow soft pace, you begin to feel his cock twitch inside of you.
Leaning to your ear, he praises you more. "My love, you're making me feel so good. I know you already said I could, but will you please give me permission to cum inside you? You make me feel so amazing, I need you so bad." He says as you moan his name again, not caring who'll hear anymore. Nodding as permission, he releases he load into you, making a few deep thrusts so you cum aswell.
Laying together to catch your breaths, Jamil slowly pulls out, watching as your body twitches from being empty. Going into his bathroom again, he grabs two waters and some sweets for you. "Eat up. You lost a lot of energy just now. I'll go and run a bath for us."
Once you're finished with your snacks and water, Jamil carries you bridal style to the bathroom. Placing you in the bath first, he climbs in after you. He then snakes his arms around your waist and pulls you into his lap. As he begins to wash you up, shampooing your hair and putting bodywash on you, your hands find their way back to his semi hardened member. Jamil practically chokes on his moan as you begin to stroke him, running your finger up and down his shaft.
He looks at you with confusion, earning a small chuckle from you. "One more round? Please?" You say, looking up at him with pleading eyes. He let's out a sigh, picking you up by the waist and slowly sinking you down on his now hardened cock. Getting into a position where your face is buried in his chest, you're content with not moving and just staying as is.
As he begins to wash you more, barely moving his hips as his one hand grips your waist, he starts to kiss more marks into your neck again. "My love, you've sparked something in me. Now im not sure if I can stop after 'one more round'," he practically growls in your ear. This may have been one long week, but this was going to be an even longer night.
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