#with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules

[nadsdraws]

God does not play dice with the universe... but Metatron does

#good omens #good omens s2 #good omens season 2 #metatron #my musings #metatron the mastermind #good omens s2 spoilers #God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising #which might be compared #from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody] #to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker #in a pitch-dark room #with blank cards #for infinite stakes #with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules #and who smiles all the time. #good omens analysis

[seat-safety-switch]

Once in awhile, you can get one over on The Man. Finally, after all these years of toiling under his rule, doing his dirty work, begging for his praise, he has well and truly fucked up. And, it turns out, your entire life has been building up to the moment that you can milk him for all he's worth.

Have you ever seen a Dodge Caliber? They're getting sort of uncommon now, but when they were new, they were pretty hateful cars. Cheap, buzzy, surprisingly uneconomical, steering that felt like telling a funeral home operator how to sign a birthday card over the phone by long distance. And they fell apart all the time. Most cars get repaired, but these things got gleefully shovelled into the junkyard at the first chance the owners got.

Not all of them, though. This is a story about one very special Dodge Caliber. You see, my aunt needed a car. And my aunt is very nervous about owning a car. The skills of shitbox repair never made it into her genes, you see, possibly because she is not related to me by blood. So, in order to get that car, she went to the Dodge dealership, and she asked them: can you do a lifetime warranty, unlimited mileage, no questions asked, cover everything? And they said: for you, ma'am, we absolutely can charge you an obscene, eye-watering amount of money.

Once I found out about this, I was mad. And then I figured it out. You see, what my aunt did have was being insanely cheap. That's why she was a part of my degenerate family. She still is, even though my Uncle Larry exploded that one night at Arecibo. Unlimited mileage. There has never been a sweeter phrase uttered in the English language.

Now, whenever anyone we know needs to go for a long trip, we tell them: take the Caliber. Rack those miles up. Punish those stupid motherfuckers for writing such a terrible, open-ended contract. My aunt runs a taxi service consisting entirely of this vehicle, a fleet of drivers constantly rotating in and out, the thing rolling virtually 24/7. I love driving this car, because every single mile that ticks up on the odometer is more salty tears from the low-wattage pig who thought he was a big-time wheeler and dealer down at Old Time Country Dodge.

To their credit, they figured out the enormous error that they had made fairly quickly. When Aunt Hilda rolled in the thing, smoking and wheezing, for its sixth transmission replacement at eight-hundred-and-fifty-thousand kilometers, they offered to buy it from her and give her a brand new luxury SUV, just for being such a great customer. She laughed, and told them to get started overhauling the Caliber, and don't forget to take a look at the squeaking sound it started making in the back.

When things got real bad during the recession, they tried to go bankrupt, thinking that might get them out from having to maintain this economy car until the sun burns out. Ha! Death won't save you, my friend. My attorney Max picked that one up pro bono, despite hating warranty law, just for the pleasure of watching their attorney read the purchase contract. Her eyes got so big that they stuck that way. The paramedics had to use the jaws of life on her eyelids so she could blink again.

If you see me in the Caliber, make sure to honk. I probably won't stop to say hi, because we gotta keep this odometer rollin'. Rest assured, however, that I will honk back, maybe ten or fifteen times. Really get my money's worth out of that horn.

[kimberleyjean]

Why are there Infinity Loops or Möbius Strips in Good Omens?

The infinity loop, it's the idea of something that is unlimited and endless, you know...

In this post, I'm going to explore some of the symbols in the show that I think relate to this concept of eternity. For example, have you noticed that the infinity loop shows up amongst the symbols at the start of Season 1? While God's narrates about her "ineffable game" of her own devising, here it is on screen:

Why do we see so many infinity symbols here? Where else can we see this same symbol?

Read on for the places I've spotted it in both S1, S2 and the book. I’m hoping you’ll let me know if I missed any, and what you think it all means!

Eternity in Good Omens

In the book, when Crowley is explaining the concept of eternity to Aziraphale, he uses the idea of a bird which flies every thousand years to the same mountain to sharpen it's beak. Here's the conversation, with Aziraphale's interruptions edited out (pg. 55 - 56 in my hardcopy):

“Just you think about it," said Crowley relentlessly. "You know what eternity is? You know what eternity is? I mean, d'you know what eternity is? There's this big mountain, see, a mile high, at the end of the universe, and once every thousand years there's this little bird—” “Okay. And every thousand years this bird flies—" "flies all the way to this mountain and sharpens its beak—” “Sharpen its beak on the mountain," said Crowley. "And then it flies back—” “And after a thousand years it goes and does it all again," said Crowley quickly.”

This story originally came from a folk tale called the Shepherd Boy. It's very short and you can read the Brother's Grimm version here. (Update: The Annotated Pratchett also thinks this may be a reference to James Joyce's Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man).

If we take Crowley at his word, then eternity in Good Omens is represented by repeating the same thing over again, whether that's flying forever to the same mountain, or having to watch the Sound of Music "over and over and over and over and over and over and over" into infinity.

The Infinity Loop

The common symbol for infinity, ∞, was invented by the English mathematician John Wallis in 1655. Being an extremely popular symbol, it shows up in a lot of places, including the Rider-Waite Tarot deck. Several other uses are detailed on the wikipedia page.

So, where does it appear in Good Omens? In addition to God's monologue, we also see it during the S1 baby swap sequence as part of the Satanic nun's costumes. Here it is on the upside-down watches they wear:

Here it is again on Newt's belt buckle in S1:

Here's another possible infinity symbol on Newt's computer screen, when he's working at United Holdings:

Outside of the show, it also appears on the merch released post-S2 (though a little bit disguised in the form of the snake wrapped around them). Included is the tagline of "The end was just the start".

There are also two references to infinity in the book. Here's the first very near the start (pg. 14 of my 2015 hardback edition):

“He [God] plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, [ie., everybody.] to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.”

And here's the other, closer to the end, at the airfield (pg. 363 of my edition):

“Adam glanced up. In one sense there was just clear air overhead. In another, stretching off to infinity, were the hosts of Heaven and Hell, wingtip to wingtip. If you looked really closely, and had been specially trained, you could tell the difference.”

So, Good Omens makes a few references to infinity, which I find interesting in itself. But wait, there's more!

The Ouroboros

There is another symbol which also appears in Good Omens and also suggests a form of repetition - the ouroboros. The ouroboros is an ancient symbol depicting a serpent or dragon eating its own tail and depicts an eternal cycle of renewal - an end which comes back to the start again. I recommend taking a look at the whole wikipedia page, which is quite fascinating:

Now, this would be a rather abstract representation, but I think this appears on the wall of Nina's cafe. Unfortunately, in my image Terry's name has been cut off, but it does say Terry and Neil within those segments of the loop:

So we have the infinity symbol, the ouroboros... anything else? Well, yes, there is a third symbol for us to ponder over.

The Mobius Strip

Closely related to the idea of the infinity symbol is that of the mobius strip. To oversimplify things, the mobius strip is a object which is a continuous surface in a loop. At first glance, it appears to have two sides, but these are indeed all part of the same side (maybe we should call this "our side"?). As shown in the below gif, an object traversing the surface of the strip can repeat in a continuous loop.

Where does the mobius strip appear in Good Omens? Well, it appears in the book. Here it is being used to refer to Anathema's broken bike wheel (pg. 92 in my 2015 hardback edition):

“Behind the Bentley a bicycle lay in the road, its front wheel bent into a creditable Mobius shape, its back wheel clicking ominously to a standstill.”

And again, describing the discussions of the Them, while Adam is coming into his powers (pg. 229 in my hardback):

“Serve everyone right if all the nucular bombs went off and it all started again, only prop'ly organized," said Adam. "Sometimes I think that's what I'd like to happen. An' then we could sort everythin' out." The thunder growled again. Pepper shivered. This wasn't the normal Them mobius bickering, which passed many a slow hour. There was a look in Adam's eye that his friend couldn't quite fathom—not devilment, because that was more or less there all the time, but a sort of blank grayness that was far worse.”

Not only does the word "mobius" appear twice in the book, but Neil has continued to be interested in such ideas, releasing the song Mobius Strip in April 2023 (as brought to my attention by @embracing-the-ineffable). The song is a meditation on the nature of time, magic and how things tend to repeat. In the song, the grandfather shows the boy a trick to creating a mobius strip using paper, tape and some scissors. Here's how the song concludes:

"I'm... Somewhere on the strip We all are, walking the sign of infinity into the darkness And I'm looking for signs of a life, in a memory Reflected in the mirror I'm a mobius strip We all are We only ever see one face It's the twist that brings you back where you started"

If you're unfamiliar with the idea of creating a paper-based mobius strip, here's a video on how it works:

Is the loop Aziraphale and Crowley?

To form a mobius strip, you need to cut the paper first, flip it, and then join the ends back together.

To me, this reminds me a lot of the S2 opening sequence, when we see the bridge disconnect, separating Aziraphale and Crowley on either side, only to then reconnect at another place.

Does this mean the bridge, and perhaps the loop, represents our ineffable duo? This merch sure seems to suggest so...

That could be one interpretation of this sequence, though I'm sure there are others. What do you think? Does the loop say anything about Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship to one another?

Put it all together and...

In summary, we have at least three different symbols signifying some sort of repetition in Good Omens - the infinity loop, ouroboros and mobius strip. So, what might they mean? Why do you think it's been included, and so often? Even more importantly, have I missed any? There's endless details to be mined from this show, so I wouldn't be surprised if there are more.

I have a few theories, but nothing concrete yet, so I'm really interested in hearing everyone's ideas!

#good omens meta #ineffable mystery #good omens clues #good omens analysis #go meta #good omens s2 #good omens s1 #good omens season 2 #good omens season 1 #good omens #good omens details #infinity symbol #infinity loop #mobius strip #newton pulsifer #ineffable husbands #ouroboros #Youtube

[lauranalanthalasa]

You know, when Maggie says in episode 6

We're not a game. We're real people. You can't just pair us up for your amusement.

it reminds me awfully of God in season 1 stating

I play an ineffable game of my own devising. For everyone else it's like playing poker in a pitch-dark room for infite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

And it makes me think: did God somehow pair up Crowley and Aziraphale for Her own amusement? Does She watch them struggle and suffer, smiling all the time because She knows, they'll find each other eventually?

I mean, if their existence and well-being aren't each other's infinite stakes, then I don't know what is.

Just sayin'.

#the choice of words is deliberate #this is more fuckery i just know it #this show will be the death of me #why am i doing this to myself #i like making things painful for myself #why am i like this #aziracrow #good omens

[ao3cassandraic]

Angels, demons, language, and culture: part 3

(Part 1 and Part 2 for those interested.)

"I play an ineffable game of my own devising. For everyone else, it’s like playing poker in a pitch dark room with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won’t tell you the rules and who smiles all the time." --God, Good Omens

This is just. Creepy and awful and so, so wrong for a quasi-omnipotent being. Ugh. Good Omens!God is an abject horror.

But if you're one of the poker players at that table, what do you do? You try to figure out the rules and mark the cards, naturally. Especially if leaving the table only happens via swan dives into burning sulphur, or getting kicked out of the only home you've known into a hostile desert with lions in it. While pregnant, yet.

So, I did a Bat Mitzvah back in the day, as it happens, and my Torah portion was from Deuteronomy. Which is, as I am hardly the first to notice, chockablock full of rules. Good Omens definitely leveraged (rather than inventing) the idea of trying to figure out Her rules and codify them in writing! Note, however, that the Bible per Word of Gaiman is a human thing. Codifying divine rules? Therefore also a human thing, minus I suppose the Ten Commandments -- though I can certainly envision a Good Omens in which Moses was, um, not exactly telling the truth about the source of the tablets; we only really have his word for it.

Angels and demons, who have a low opinion of literacy and just generally don't seem to be very good at it, never did this. We see that Aziraphale, Before the Beginning, has intuitively figured a few rules out: don't question Her, don't comment on (much less critique) Her decisions or designs, don't ever ever piss Her off. The Starmaker hasn't gotten this far, tragically, and our Crowley remains confused throughout the show as to what rule he can possibly have broken that earned him the identity-changing torture She inflicted on him.

Fundamentally, Crowley doesn't want to -- perhaps can't -- believe that She is capricious and cruel. He thinks there are rules, "don't test to destruction" being a major one. We know he's wrong, however. She straight-up told us so, in the quote at the top of this post! Aziraphale, too, knows, though he buries this knowledge as deep under the words "ineffable" and "Great Plan" (there is no Great Plan, She told us so, it's all a game to Her) as he possibly can -- I think as a coping mechanism -- and does his best to avoid drawing Her attention again after the Sword Incident.

But we see angelic and demonic confusion about the rules of Her game again and again. It's at the root of Aziraphale's successful Great Plan/Ineffable Plan hairsplitting at the airbase. It's why Aziraphale has to (with Muriel's help) dig through the contract for Job, and why Gabriel and Michael can't even be arsed to, even revising Job's reward on the fly. They're guessing! They're guessing about the rules based on what they've seen of Her caprices! She likes sevens!

It's how Crowley rules-lawyers the demons into letting the Whickber Street tradespeople go. If there are actual rules of Heaven-Hell engagement -- and there may not be! Crowley's pulled plausible-sounding lies out of his arse before! -- I'll bet you anything you like practically nobody in Heaven or Hell has actually read them. (My top picks for rules-of-engagement authors, if those rules actually do exist, would be Satan and the Metatron.)

And it's why Uriel has to ask the Metatron, as unsure and afraid as Uriel has ever looked in the entire series, whether the remaining archangels have done something wrong. The Metatron's response refuses to clarify what's at issue -- he, like Her, won't tell anybody the rules. If I'm feeling extremely cynical, I think She and he refuse to explain the rules because they're more powerful if there's no rulebook that rank-and-file angels can use to contest them with.

It makes me so sad. The legions of Heaven would assuredly have followed Her rules, if they only knew what those rules were! Fanart of the just-fallen Starmaker routinely breaks my susceptible heart, not least because the commonest expressions on his face are agony, sorrow -- and confusion. It's just all so damn unfair.

Same with Job, and Peter Davison sells it beautifully. Poor Job assumes he must have broken Her rules somehow, and blames himself for not even knowing how. That's totally on Her, though! If Her rules aren't clear enough for righteous Job to be able to trust his own righteousness under a horrible test, that's Her fault, not his!

The closest that Heaven and Hell -- and humanity, for that matter -- have to Her rules is prophecy. I probably don't need to spill many pixels on how vague and confusing prophecy is, how often it's counterfeited, and how pointless it is to try to live your life by (or trying to avoid) true prophecies; prophecies will invariably gotcha you. Good Omens is hardly the first work of literature to point this out. (Try the story of Oedipus. That's a good one. Yeesh. Or, if we want to be all Biblical about it, Moses again.) Agnes Nutter may well be the only genuinely well-meaning prophet in the entire history of prophets! Even so, her book is incredibly bewildering! Generations of her descendants try to figure it out, and mostly they fail -- look at the annotations we see on Anathema's index cards.

So when @thundercrackfic asks me what Aziraphale gets out of books, my first (though not only) answer is "rules for living." Not just rules for living as safely as possible around Her, though -- rules for living among humans, too. I headcanon (and posited in "Endgame") that Aziraphale has been collecting human etiquette manuals as long as humans have been writing etiquette manuals. Codified rules, like the ones in Deuteronomy, likely help him feel more secure.

I think this is also why Muriel characterizes books as portable people. Muriel is trying their sweet adorable best to figure out the Earth rules on the fly, since nobody Upstairs told them (or indeed knows, the Metatron aside) what those rules are. They do have Aziraphale to help them along -- Aziraphale is so much better than Upstairs! he doesn't condescend or insult, he just gently instructs -- but Aziraphale can't teach full-time, he has other things on his plate. So Muriel the scrivener, one of the few angels who would have a clue about literacy due to the nature of their job, gravitates to books and discovers that they too can be gentle and compassionate teachers.

The final question outstanding is how well Aziraphale understands and assimilates human books, especially fiction, especially especially non-literal figures of speech. It's an excellent and complicated question, and I don't think I have The Answer to it, but I'll see what I can do.

#good omens #good omens meta #rules rules rules #good omens god is a horror #aziraphale #crowley #the starmaker #angel muriel

[good-soupmens]

Maybe this is just me being a christian in the good omens fandom, but a lot of people say Aziraphale's arc needs to end with him *entirely* dismantling his religious beliefs and stop following God, and I would disagree (I do have religious trauma, so hear me out 💀)

Yes, it was VERY necessary for him to learn that heaven didn't have humanity's best interest at heart. In fact, the archangels are incredibly selfish. Questioning their morals led him to stop armageddon with Crowley. But as the narrator of season one, God is somewhat mysterious, even cheeky ("a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time"). I don't think we're SUPPOSED to dislike her as a character, but we're meant to question whether heaven is really carrying out her plan.

I often see heaven as the equivalent of a corrupt church; the kind that scares you with hell, says they have power over the bible so you should listen to them, and asks you for donations when they'll probably just spend it on themselves. They're toxic.

Crowley is wise to want to distance himself as much as possible. But I can't say Aziraphale is wrong for wanting to fix it. Heaven existing at ALL isn't the problem, it's the way it's conducted. If they really cared about the earth, they could help people. Crowley saved a girl from killing herself, Aziraphale forgave Maggie's rent, Crowley helped Shakespeare get his plays off the ground, Aziraphale healed Anathema and fixed her bike. Both stopped hell from ending the earth (and heaven orchestrating it). Crowley saved things every time that he was sent to destroy them.

They're constantly doing little miracles, sometimes big ones, while still letting the earth run, where humans can make their own choices and decide what to believe. If heaven was anything like Crowley and Aziraphale, there wouldn't be a system in need of destroying.

I wrote more detailed meta on good omens God here (and my therory on the ineffable plan), but my point is to say that destroying Aziraphale's faith entirely is not the solution. He doubts that heaven is even doing God's work. The end goal for dealing with religious trauma isn't always letting go of your belief in God (that's okay if it is!) but many of us need to deconstruct toxic ideas taught by toxic churches. Some people wouldn't survive without their faith. And FAITH in God isn't the problem, people misrepresenting God in order to devalue, shame, and oppress others for personal gain is.

Given that she canonically exists in the good omens universe, that means that she created everything. She made Aziraphale, Crowley, the universe, the earth, everyone who went on to create anything else, and life itself. Every moment, every place, every feeling, every choice, and every experience was possible because it was created. She's the reason anything that in the history of time was able to happen at all, good or bad.

God may not tell anyone about her plan, but I have a feeling it's going to be the end result of the series, where Crowley and Aziraphale were a part of it (I could be kidding myself, but that's my theory)

The concept of the "sides" being heaven and hell doesn't work without everyone getting a real choice. Neither Crowley or Aziraphale truly belonged to their respective sides because they were morally against them. Just as heaven needs to be fixed, hell shouldn’t be run by *obligation* to do evil. The good omens book said that many demons just considered it their job ("Go up there and make some trouble")

Thinking back to Aziraphale's line, "But humans...get a choice" makes me think that THAT'S what will change.

It's not "this group is nice. go out and do good" and "this group is bad. go out and do evil", it'll be everyone making choices (whether they want to spread misery and destroy the earth, or truly help better the earth and show people the light in a flawed world). Heaven would have a real job of thwarting evil if they weren't the ones administering it, and maybe that's what Aziraphale will try to change.

--

(End of essay personal rant!!)

This is for queer christians especially, I know people forget us. My religious trauma comes from homophobia. I have to remind myself daily that it's not a fault of God, but people. It's PEOPLE who harbor hate for what they don't understand, and many use religion to justify their wanting us not to exist. They fundamentally misunderstand the point of following christ, and others have to work to change that.

It may seem like the best solution is to object to christianity entirely, but I find genuine happiness in it despite the bad eggs. I wouldn't be here if not for it, and it doesn't take brainwashing and manipulation for me to be a follower. I want to be. That's the reason I say any of this; for good omens to end on a positive note with God would mean a lot to queer christians. We're often caught between christians that hate gay people and gay people that hate christians, and it's hard for us to accept both parts of ourselves. Good omens helps me love both :) and thats why I relate to Aziraphale as a character

Also. queer christians and non-christian queer people with religious trauma, you're all so valid and cool, I love you <3

#good omens meta #ineffable plan #god good omens #religious trauma #queer christian #Aziraphale #good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens season 3 #good omens theory #gay christian #trans christian

[moodywyrm]

so reader's one of ellie friends right, and basically all ellie friends are known for the 'bad reputation'. but then?? abby has a massive crush on her? and abbys is a dork, someone who follow the rules and a real good girl. when they're already in a relationship, jerry hears about reader 'reputation' and gets a bit concerned?

one day, abby wakes up to some harsh cold symptoms and jerry insists shd must rest so she goes back to bed and sends reader a message and warnjng she wont show up because shes sick :(. jerry promises to come the earliest he can from work, so she won't be alone (he knows she's stubborn he knows she won't just stay in bed).

as soon reader sees abbys messages she immediately drops everything and FLIES to her gf' room, and stays to take care of abby.

imagine reader reaching her place with meds and all her favorite snacks, sweets, movies and all

actually 🧶 anon's ask inspired this? I'm so sorry this was such a tought dayand hope everything gets better :( wishing all the best ;;

also sorry if it's messy I typed so fast 😅

- 🌬

ohhhh hell yeah. alternate version of the basketball/college abby universe. I imagine that, even though Ellie n her friends have a kinda weird reputation, ur all pretty much just huge dorks n relatively good kids? like Dina is an academic Star and the sweetest ever, Jesse is super kind to everyone, huge big brother vibes, Ellie may be the schools suspected dealer (she is) but she's also just a massive dork, academic star, just doesn't really like talking to people? like she comes off as mean but she's actually just kinda reserved? and then u! ur very much black cat, kinda quiet kinda mean, also doesn't really like people, is very smart, has been friends with Ellie since like childhood. ur adoptive dad is friends (enemies?) with Joel (surprise ur adoptive dad/father figure/adult who took on a parental role in ur life is Bill n Frank but them from the tv show bc kings <3), so u n Ellie practically grew up together.

u get a bad reputation for being a bitch (imagine Kat from 10 Things I Hate About You but ur not mean to people who don't deserve it), and Jerry (who has close ties to the faculty) has heard from other professors about you. They all say the same thing: academically promising, if challenging to work with, especially in group settings. and he's ,,,, concerned ,,, to say the least, when Abby tells him that You are her gf and he's like OK! (on the outside) but on the inside he's like shit, I really don't want her to get hurt or anything. but, like u said, it only clicked that the student he'd heard so much about (reputation and all) was you After u n abby started dating, so that time when he didn't know, he was like 'she seems really sweet!' every time Abby mentioned u.

but then. abby gets sick. she texts u saying that she can't study with u bc she's got a cold and ur like??? fuck studying??? ur already on ur way to her place, knowing she's at her dad's, with two full bags of medicine, treats, and remedies from ur childhood like sprite, ginger ale, chamomile, vaporu, anything. and u show up at her door like Open Up Honey. and, on the outside, she's like u didn't have to come, I don't wanna get u sick :( but on the inside she's all warm and fuzzy bc ur taking care of her!! u!! who took so long to warm up to her in the first place and is now her sweet lil gf who never wants to leave her side!! and ur like yeah yeah whatever let me in but on the inside ur freaking out bc abby is ur baby n she's sick which means she's uncomfortable and u don't want her to be uncomfortable :(

so u spend the entire time taking care of her, cooking her soup From Scratch, making her rest on the couch n keeping her refreshed. ur sitting on the couch with her head on ur lap, rubbing lil circles onto her shoulder when Jerry comes home. abby, who was fast asleep, pops up so fucking fast she gets dizzy when the door opens and Jerry calls her name. ur steadying her when he comes into the living room and is like. oh. hi! u must be the girlfriend! and ur like hi yes nice to me you! and abby is still there all discombobulated like hi dad. ouch.

and the second she winces both u n jerry are like lunging forward to take care of her. u two proceed to help her upstairs to her room, getting her more soup n liquids n keeping her comfortable, and Jerry gets to see all the work you've already done to take care of her, and how ur taking care of her now even though he's there. he leaves you two in her room, abby about two second from passing out on ur lap and u reading to her. he walks back out to the living room and is like. 'huh. maybe everyone was just exaggerating.' but in reality he's like tearing up and getting emotional bc his baby girl, his lil Abigail, found someone who takes care of her and clearly loves her more than anything and that makes him so sappy bc he loves his daughter!!

n thank u honeybee, today is getting slowly better, I might have a lil cry n then get to work but who knows </3 this is also such a cute universe I really like it <3 wonderful developments in the college abby multiverse

#🌬️ anon #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson #abby anderson fluff #abby anderson x reader fluff

[utilitycaster]

speaking of jasmine bhullar, she and brennan had a great convo about min-maxers and i was wondering what your own thoughts on min-maxing were? i'm new-ish to actually playing dnd and i still worry about making myself a problem to the dm as opposed to an asset.

First off as someone who enjoys Adventuring Academy but never has the time to watch the full episodes, thank you for bringing this up - I watched just the debate, and it was incredible and hilarious.

This is a good question. I am 100% in agreement with Jasmine here and she said it better than I could: min-maxing simply means that you read the rules to D&D and decided to use them to your advantage. Reading the rules to D&D is great and everyone should do it (in fact, this a reliable way to be an asset to the DM: know how your character's abilities work). There are a few cases where it sucks but most of those aren't actually due to min-maxing so much as shitty player behaviors that can occur in min-maxers.

I think one reason people dislike min-maxers is that the stereotypical min-maxer builds a character who truly can't do anything except for massive damage, and that does kind of suck, but I also think that that is really hard to build in 5e. You're going to have some other abilities. I think it was much easier to truly min-max in 3.5e, and perhaps in older editions you could really break things (in fact, having listened to some pathfinder 1e actual plays, I know you could).

There is also, as Jasmine points out, a false assumption that min-maxers aren't interested in RP or won't do it. This is very clearly untrue and a few examples off the top of my head from Actual Play that are debatably min-maxed are: Deadeye Cybin (played by Brennan, natch) in NADDPod (damage dealer); Laerryn Coramar-Seelie of EXU Calamity (optimized for survival, especially against non-magical foes); Caduceus Clay and Deanna Leimert of Critical Role (both optimized to be healers, incidentally); Orym and Vex, also of Critical Role (optimized to have a stupidly high perception score), Theo Gumbar of A Crown of Candy (optimized to tank and have a stupidly high AC). These are all fantastic characters with profound RP scenes who happen to also be really, really good at a narrow band of things, but they're also not just good at that. Many of them also can serve as the brains or the face of their party; many have utility spells far beyond their area of specialization.

Another reason people dislike min-maxers is they have a reputation for being ungenerous - for swooping in and stealing the spotlight. The above characters, played by some of the most generous people in actual play, show that's clearly not the case. Also, to be honest, a spotlight hog doesn't have to be min-maxed. It's just a shitty "hey, hey look at me" player. I think attention hogs might be a bit more inclined to try to build a character who is really really good at something (again, usually damage more than say, healing) but that doesn't mean that everyone who builds a gunslinger is here to steal all the glory.

Specialization also isn't bad! The reason D&D is a game where people are in a party is because not everyone can do everything! There are a small handful of characters who are a utility knife who can basically do a little bit of almost everything (Keyleth, Fjord, Moonshine) but they are the exception rather than the rule. Barbarians, for example, are a class that usually is structured around tanking and doing damage. This is fine! You probably don't want a party that's all barbarians because it is useful to have healers and ranged attackers and people who can sink all their high stat rolls into the mental side of things because they don't live and die quite so much by their physical stats, but it sure is nice to have a barbarian in the mix to balance out the glass cannon wizard, isn't it?

If you show up to a table where there is a clear gap in party composition (eg: healing) or there's a clear story the GM wants to tell (eg: very social, requires a lot of diplomacy) and you decide not to fill it because you are too busy building Guy With Stealth Bonus of +20, then that's a problem, but that's ultimately a failure to collaborate. Min-maxing for something that doesn't really help the party is simply the way in which you happened to fail that compromise.

I'm sure there are edge-case, dark corners of D&D Reddit builds that do suck, but honestly most of them suck in that they are actually not good (eg: coffeelock). Your typical case of dumping one stat to max out on another? totally normal, totally cool.

Anyway to get to the part of your question regarding not being a problem: you probably aren't! You're thinking about how to not be a problem to your DM, which people who are problems tend not to do. However, the big takeaways of the above are 1. read the rules of your character and 2. build a character who fits into the world. In the session zero, build a character who has a reason to be doing the things the DM outlines in broad strokes, and who complements the other PCs. If you do that, then it doesn't matter if you min-max or not.

#answered #Anonymous #*cool hand luke voice* what we have here is a failure to collaborate #(i have not seen cool hand luke i should) #d&d mechanics #long post

[cod-dump]

I’m not Simon Riley I’m Ghost: Chapter 16

———

Soap POV

—

Soap went to the room where he was supposed to stay in for this, now over, mission. He was frustrated, angry. How could he forget about Ghost's nature? Of course he doesn't care that humans might die! Soap sits on the bed, sighing. It didn't feel right to leave, not when the mission wasn't even completed. Abandoning it even when people's lives were at stake... Did Price agree to this?

Soap checks his phone, having gotten a message from Gaz.

:Are you alright? Heard something about a attack from Price:

Soap went to reply when an idea came to him. The church... A meeting place for the arms dealer's men... At least, that's maybe what it's being used for. He wonders what he could find there... Maybe something that could lead to Hiro Shizuma? Soap feels like he can't leave, not until something is done about Hiro Shizuma. People were in danger and he wasn't going to walk away.

Ghost won't help. He doesn't care what happens as long as he gets his next meal.

Soap made his decision. To everyone, it's a stupid one. But he feels like he has to or else a lot of people were going to die. Soap sends a text to Gaz as he leaves the room.

:I'm fine. I'll see you later:

He wasn't sure when 'later' would be, he wasn't even sure what would happen to him. As Soap made his way through the base, back straight as he walks with purpose, he can only think about what Ghost would do once he found out what Soap was doing. Though he planned to be off base by the time the beast disguised as a man made the discovery. Going by foot was his only option, and Soap was hoping Ghost didn’t figure out his plan and chase him down.

Getting off base in full gear and armed was easier than it should have been. All Soap did was tell the soldiers at the gate he was going out on his own and they just let him go. He wasn't going to complain, they made this a bit easier for him.

Soap liked to think he was good at navigating unfamiliar areas. He had to be with his line of work. It proved useful and he probably wouldn't have gotten back to the church as fast without that skill. The sun was just below the horizon so Soap was hoping the vampires wouldn't be too eager to greet him. He wasn't sure about that tiger thing, though, or if it followed the same rules as them. Soap was cautious as he made him way towards the church, looking over his shoulder and in every dark place he passed.

He's been in dangerous situations like this before, but this had to be the first time he moved as prey and not predator. The street lights were humming quietly as he got closer to the church and anything louder than that made Soap flinch. The tiger thing had rushed him, cornered him, all with abnormal silence for something so large. He would like to no have a repeat of that.

Soap had never felt so uneasy outside of a church. It was ominous, truly.

Need to get inside…

The chances of something worth note being left behind was slim, but it was their original plan to start here before everything happened. There had to be something, anything. Just enough to get a lead, something the DGSE or Ghost couldn’t ignore. Ghost said this wasn’t a human matter, but Soap never liked sitting when something o big was happening in front of him. He was a good soldier though he had a temper… and right now Ghost was the target.

Soap felt betrayed. It was a dumb feeling considering everything Ghost was. He hunted and killed humans, he was in 141 because it was a free meal ticket, the perfect cover with someone covering up his tracks. Soap knew all this yet he let his attraction blind him. He wanted Ghost to be the lieutenant that he had originally met. He wanted Ghost to continue being that brave man who did a hell of a job taking out problems and saving lives. But he never was that, it was all an illusion, a mask to keep him hidden so he could keep getting food without drawing attention.

The church was locked up tight, every window and door heavily secured. Not something that every abandoned building had. There was definitely something going on here. The monsters that attacked them and now the secured building, it all pointed to the fact that something had to be here. Soap circles the church again and stops when he notices something covered up by a tarp. A swift tug and a cellar door was revealed.

A padlock? There’s my way in.

Soap always kept a set of lock picks on him for this reason. It would be quicker to just break the lock but he didn’t want to risk making too much noise, so picking the lock it is. Soap fumbled with the lock, and soon he was rewarded with a satisfying click. Soap removes the lock and goes to open the cellar, freezing when he hears something behind him. A slight breeze, very light footsteps—

“Fuck-“

#i’m not simon riley i’m ghost #eldritch simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #fic #also on ao3 #soapghost #ghostsoap #long post #call of duty #modern warfare #eldritch fic

[creedslove]

https://www.tumblr.com/creedslove/729946757120851968/as-a-angst-lover-an-idea-came-to-my-mind-last?source=share

Dude can you make a part two where Pena trying to catch guiterez because he's a drug dealer boss? Or something like that? (I know it actually his cousin and not him) but reader choosing to stay with guiterez no matter what pena told reader or how dangerous it is for her?

Javier Peña x f!reader x Javi Gutierrez

A/N: babe, I wasn't going to write it, but now I am and it's thanks to you because your idea is genius and I love you bai

• PART TWO OF THIS HEADCANON

• Peña wasn't able to sleep that night, he had gone home after running into you and your knew boyfriend at the bar, the same bar he used to go with you for date nights, the same bar he kissed another girl and you'd walked on them, it was almost a symbolism and it made him feel so conflicted about it all

• of course there was the jealousy, over the time he spent away from you he had realized he missed you way too much, more than he ever thought he would, and then he realized the mistake he had made; but it was too late, he knew you were happy but he was still jealous

• he tried to leave the place incognito, but he got so agitated to see you kissing your new guy, he ended up bumping into a water, making a serious of glasses hit the floor and shatter and with the noise, your attention towards him also came

• you two exchanged a silent look, you were too shocked to say anything, at the same time Javier just swallowed before mumbling the water some quick apologies and left

• he couldn't even think of being around you and that man; he felt stupid for letting you go, he also felt sad and angry, why did you have to move on from him so fast? you were like a puppy around him, it wasn't fair you had moved on while Javier got stuck in his feelings for you, no matter how selfish that was

• however, there was something else he couldn't get a hold of but it was bothering him; Javier overhead someone calling your new boyfriend 'Javi' and under normal circumstances he would say it was pathetic you dated a guy with the same name as him

• but he had seen that Javi guy somewhere, he knew it and though he didn't understand where, his cop gut feeling told him something was up

• just when Javi was going over some police files, he found what he was looking for: the unfinished investigation on the Gutierrez family; Lucas and Javi Gutierrez were the suspects of ruling the drug trafficking market in Spain

• he didn't know what Javi was doing there but he didn't like you were so close to him one bit, it wasn't right, you shouldn't be associated with someone like him, it was dangerous and immoral

• he grabbed all the files he could get and drove straight to your apartment, hoping you would still be living there

• when the doorbell rang and you opened the door to see Javier Peña, your ex boyfriend, you were surprised to say the least

• of course it had to do with the fact he had seen you with another man, you just didn't know Javier was that petty

"is he here? Your boyfriend? Gutierrez?"

"what? Why? Why do you even care?"

• Javi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, then he held you by the arms and made you sit down on the couch

"listen to me, you are in danger with him, your boyfriend... Gutierrez, he's part of one of the most prominent families in the drug cartel, they're very powerful and you should step away from him immediately"

"what are you talking about? Why do you even care? Javi is a great guy, he would never do this, it's his cousin who's in charge, not him, he's got nothing to do with that shit"

"what? You know about that all?"

"do you think I'm really stupid to think all that money comes from olives planting, selling or whatever? Of course I know, but I don't care, Javi has nothing to do with it and I won't break up with him"

"are you telling me you're staying with him even if you know his family is in the shady business, do you even know how dangerous this is?!"

"I do and I love Javi, he's not involved with that, he's a wonderful man and you can quit your worried act right now, I don't care what you say"

"you gotta be fucking crazy, you can't be serious! I'm telling you they're part of a drug cartel! I'm worried about you and your safety, goddammit!"

"no, you aren't worried about me, if anything, you are just jealous and butthurt I got over you and found love with someone else, someone better than you, a man who treats me just like I deserve it, who loves me and makes sure to show me! He doesn't use me for sex like you did, he treats me like a queen and that's why I'm marrying him and staying by his side, supporting Javi no matter what happens while you're probably going to die alone, Peña, because you don't love anyone else but yourself!"

• after your words, Javi had no other business to do around you. He just gathered the files and turned his back to you, walking away; no words, no goodbyes, you were right, he was incapable of loving someone else, but he was right to be worried about you, however, it wasn't his duty to save you from yourself and the consequences of your actions

____

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal headcanon #pedro pascal headcanons #javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #javier peña x y/n #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña fanfic #javier peña headcanon #javier peña headcanons #javi gutierrez #javi gutierrez x reader #javi gutierrez x you #javi gutierrez x y/n #javi gutierrez fanfic #javi gutierrez fanfiction #javi gutierrez headcanon #javi gutierrez headcanons

[gennsoup]

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players (ie., everybody), to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens

#Terry Pratchett #Neil Gaiman #Good Omens #ineffable #universe #British literature #quotes #quotes blog #literary quotes #literature quotes #literature #book quotes #books #ineffable plan

[minjixficrecs]

JJ Maybank fic recs ೄྀ࿐

You Are Ok - JJ Maybank by @collecting-stories

Summary: JJ begins a relationship with the reader, a pastor’s daughter from a fundamentalist church who feels disillusioned by her family, and introduces her to his Outer Banks. When forces outside their control try to pull them apart they’re faced with deciding if this feeling is fleeting or if it’s forever. : ̗̀➛ their masterlist I & II

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Heck’s Masterlist by @thegreatestofheck

̗̀➛ their whole masterlist is *chefs kiss*

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Bend the Rules // JJ Maybank by @obxsummer

summary: being a kook isn’t as nice as it seems and jj’s tired of watching you crumble every morning at the words of your parents. enough is enough in his book, and he’s determined to get you away from that life if it’s the last thing he does.

➛ just check out their fics, you won't regret it ♡

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

SECRETS by @maybank-starkey-obx

Synopsis: (Y/N) is being abused by her dad at home, and John B finds out and let’s her stay with him. Keeping her secret for her and being the only pogue who knows about the abuse. JJ gets jealous and wonders what is going on between you two… but you would rather not tell anyone. : ̗̀➛ this had me in my feels

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Collateral by @hellimagines

Summary: JJ’s stunt with Barry bites him in the ass when the angry drug dealer kidnaps you and decides you’re JJ’s collateral for the stolen money.

̗̀➛ THIS FIC HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Steamy Jokes & Bloody Thieves by @kaynothanks

̗̀➛go read this underrated fic or else...

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

ribs by @wheres-mylove

Summary: Everything that they had from those carefree times was not enough to keep them together. JJ is desperately trying to run away from the past and does not see that he is destroying the future at the same time. On the other hand, (Y/N) has to stop reminiscing about what it used to be. In order to move forward. Alone.

̗̀➛ can proudly recite this fic all day

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Eyes Blue Like the Atlantic by @obx-snippets

Summary: Y/n and JJ have been going strong for over a year but their bond is tested when she gets roped into something that turns into a dangerous situation fast

̗̀➛ *chefs kiss*︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

One Last Sunset by @princessmisery666

Summary: JJ’s so focused on what he doesn’t have he can’t see what’s right in front of him. You spend a whole summer trying to show him but it takes more than surf lessons for him to see that stupid things have good outcomes all the time.

̗̀➛ hella underrated ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ wake by @obxsummer

after jj wakes up in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean, it's clear to the pogues that one person isn't on board with them: you

̗̀➛ this fic will always be a fave

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

succumb by @imaginemegood

summary: something siminlar the scene where sarah is dying on the table and john b is doing cpr and crying thinking she’s dead in the show but with JJ and the reader where it’s the reader almost dying

̗̀➛ never knew i needed this fic until i read it.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

can’t kill a pogue by @jjs-bitch

SUMMARY: turns out being stranded on an island with jj maybank isn’t the worst thing in the world…

̗̀➛ another underrated writer...

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Paradise on earth series by @xreaderbooks

Summary: Y/N Routledge was just an ordinary girl from the wrong side of the island in North Carolina, school is out and a summer full of keggers, surfing, and denying feelings for her brother's best friend awaits her. That is until her older brother John B and her friends find clues to a treasure her and John B's dad spent his entire life searching for.

̗̀➛ this will easily distract you from the real world. fuck priorities :)

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Crashed my bike by /innlove (couldn't at their blog for some reason)

summary: how Y/N meets the pogues after moving to the outer banks. 

̗̀➛ you will not regret reading this.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐝 by @illic1tdreams

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : jj uses you as a bet for money

̗̀➛ hits you in the feels

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Love in the First Degree by @the-maidofgevaudan

summary: JJ is taken with your extensive criminal law knowledge...

̗̀➛ actually fell in love with this omg

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

You try to smile it away (Reader x JJ Maybank) by @frost-queen

summary: reader is in a similar home situation as JJ

̗̀➛ had me clench my buttcheeks from the anxiety lol

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Diver Down - JJ Maybank by @in-my-feels-probably

summary: diver down

̗̀➛ obsessed with this oml

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

I’m Not Listening - JJ Maybank by @overly-b part II

summary: hard of hearing reader

̗̀➛ ugh could sell my soul to read for a first time again :(

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

*•.¸♡ perpetual booms ♡¸.•* by @pogueswrld

summary: moving out of New York seemed to be a good idea to y/n's parents, thinking that moving to a small island was much better and safer after the incident. She was proven wrong anyway.

̗̀➛ respectfully, this is criminally underrated

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Dumbasses by @xoxoavenger

summary: JJ and Y/N get handcuffed together, forcing them to work as a team in order to get out of trouble.

̗̀➛ also underrated

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

will update!

#jj mayback x reader #jj mayback imagine #outer banks #obx jj #obx angst #jj maybank fic #jj maybank angst #jj maybank imagine #fanfic rec #fic recs #fic finder #library

[bananamosity]

Fan base:

@neil-gaiman : *playing an ineffable game of his own devising... much like playing poker in a pitch-dark room, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time*

#good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #aziraphale and crowley #good omens meta #ineffable idiots #neil gaiman #crowley

[mrv3000]

It seems like right now it's a 50/50 chance I'll get a notification if a mutual likes or reblogs something from me. (I'll see a reblog on my dash, but nothing in my activity.) And I'll get something in my inbox (supposedly) but there's nothing there. Meanwhile I've gotten over 500 new followers in the last week and no idea if they're just new accounts or bots so I don't want to block anyone...

I feel like I've hit another game level of tumblr and it's like playing poker in a pitch-dark room, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

#tumblr

[sevens-evan]

mmmmmmm avatrice with 11? I feel like that could be a cool one

every time i write anything remotely resembling this prompt is based on this one really good chuck fanfic i read like eight years ago. i can't escape that and i'm accepting it. have con artists beatrice and ava

"So, you guys come here often?" Ava says, leaning back in her chair. The men seated around the poker table stare at her. Ava just grins back, waiting for her generally clueless vibe to disarm them. Beatrice, who had gotten herself hired on as a dealer two weeks prior, makes eye contact with Ava as she passes out cards. Nobody else on the planet would be able to divine an emotion from Beatrice's total lack of expression, but Ava is a bit of a self-declared Beatrice expert. She detects vague concern—which is what Beatrice means to communicate, because she can't tell Ava out loud to stay on task—and beneath that, affectionate amusement.

"Few times a week," one of the men says in response to Ava's question. Ava turns her smile on him. "And I never lose, but I could make an exception for you."

"Aw, that's sweet," Ava says. She wants to grimace. They'd looked this guy up before coming here—he isn't their mark, who is, of course, the owner of the casino, but he's close enough to the owner to be relevant to their work. This guy has pretty rough record: divorce, unpaid child support, several counts of disorderly conduct, minor assault, a DUI. "So how does this game work, anyway?" She picks up her cards and starts arranging them in her hand.

Ava tunes out another player's explanation of the rules in favor of running her foot up Beatrice's calf under the table. Beatrice looks at her again. This time, she's glaring enough that an outside observer might pick up on it.

She does not, however, move her leg away.

They play more hands than they were really expecting before someone figures out that Beatrice is helping Ava cheat. They're taken to a back room and left to wait while the police are called. Beatrice, tragically, rejects Ava's request to make out with her and demands that Ava go over the plan with her.

"Cops come," Ava says with an eye roll. "I freak out and take off running when they let us out of the room. I lead the cops into the owner's office, they find his extensive collection of illegal weaponry, we make off with the money and the—whatchamacallit, the gun Lilith wants, in the confusion."

"Do not actually get the gun for Lilith," Beatrice says.

"Sure." Ava is getting the gun for Lilith. "And, duh, don't lose the wig again."

"That's a serious concern, Ava," Beatrice says. "We can never go back to Poland."

"Tragic, really."

"Ava."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Ava says. "I won't lose the stupid wig. Now can we make out?" Beatrice glares at her. Ava wiggles her eyebrows.

"...Fine. Only for a minute."

#avatrice #ava silva #sister beatrice #warrior nun #my fics #fic: avatrice #smokestarrules-old #answered #didn't really know where to stop this one so i just. did

[imfagentsworld]

The following contains spoilers of Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning part one, you have been warned.

Goodbye Mission Impossible series. Goodbye IMF team.

When I watched Dead Reckoning Part One, I was heartbroken, angry, and confused. Now a few days later, I don't have any of the above emotions, I only have infinite disappointment and feeling sorry for them, for this great series, for a group of actors who are one of the best in the world, and for those brilliant characters that the audience loves dearly.

I feel so fucking insane, How did this even occur? What the actual fuck are you doing? McQ? You're telling me this is what we've been waiting five years for?

Where is the man who can write a script with a well-conceived, plausible plot that resonates with audiences and makes them want to walk into the theater again and again? (All the people around me are saying they won't watch it again because it's heartbreaking and overlong. Box office receipts won't be low because of the dazzling stunts that will seal the mouths of people who want to give it bad reviews.)

What about not weakening one character for the sake of highlighting another?

(You mean the White Widow who became retarded to set up Grace's awesomeness? Or Ilsa, who ridiculously sacrificed her life to put Grace on the throne? The White Widow is a ruthless, highly intelligent arms dealer who trust no one. And she just casually enters a compartment with no private security. Have you forgotten how great a fighter she was in the Grand Palais in Paris? And she was instantly overpowered by a petty thief with absolutely no training. Ha, just like that. Oh, and we should thank you for interspersing a couple of giddy, goofy scenes of her, that worked. She does looked retarded and weak.

Ilsa, a world-class top agent who can kill men much stronger than her with her bare hands, who can kill Bone Doctor with a knife and beat Solomon Lane even if she's tied to a chair at first.

She's holding a sword. Using a long weapon against Gabriel's short blade. Do you have any common sense in weapons melee combat? Ilsa can cut him to pieces. But hey, don't worry, let's make Ilsa drop the long sword and spin around a couple times to get stabbed to death by Gabriel. Omg it's so smart. I don't care if Ilsa faked her death or will come back to life in MI8, you've already ruined everything.)

What about "story is king"?

（The whole movie revolves around the queen Grace and various stunts, plus the concept of AI ruling human society, and a few dry laughs. At nearly 3 hours long, it doesn't tell the story well. All the wonderful characters are completely instrumentalized. Large stretches of unnecessary dialog and stunts for the sake of stunts make the movie worse.）

Rebecca and Vanessa please don't return for the next movie, I'm shocked how you even agreed to come back to MI7? It seems like you guys think like us that they won't mess it up haphazardly. You guys exist to set someone up for greatness and your characters have been ruined. So go to a movie crew that actually values you and go work happily in a toxin free environment. I'd rather Fallout be the last in the whole series. I refuse to accept everything shown in Dead Reckoning.

You have failed to live up to the legacy and reputation that the great directors, thousands of cast and crew members have built for the series over the years. You have failed to live up to the expectations of all the IMF fans and viewers around the world. You have ruined the good characters and outstanding results you created before. You killed Ilsa and the love for this movie series in the hearts of countless audiences. That's a crime.

I wonder who will take the blame, the unknown and unrepresented Eric the old man? Or you, the man who built and destroyed everything? The cinema is dead, the last worth waiting for series is gone, and maybe that's the worst thing in this industry. Goodbye mission impossible, goodbye IMF team. When we started this journey, no one would have thought it would end this way.

#mission impossible dead reckoning part one #mi7 spoilers #goodbye