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#why is she living my dream btw
loveandthings11 · 1 year
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Naomi sang to Kendall in bed?!?!?! 🥹🥹❤️❤️❤️
[x]
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losing my mind at my flatmate’s first words to me upon returning from christmas hols being “merry christmas! happy new year! also i brought knives!!!!!!” like iconic of her tbh
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best-enemies · 2 months
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I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:
(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]
Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)
Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]
(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)
(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)
LIKE!!!!!!!
Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.
#csi#gsr#i'm very Normal about them btw i don't think about them 50 times per day or anything#need to talk more about these two here#because im obsessed about them in a Normal way#sara is like. my dream wife. i totally get grissom being in love with her for years and barely holding it together#i would not though#i'm 1000% sure she's bi. but the writers have been cowards so far#also she and i dress THE SAME. yes i love 2000s clothes so what#i could talk about her forever she's everything to me#and grissom. oh grissom. i also get why she's been in love with him forever#i mean what the FUCK went down in san francisco did they hook up and sex was so good it scared them#and now they have to live with that tension and they're scared of crossing that line#nah i'm guessing with these two they just REALLY clicked. like. they were an instant match and they knew it#but grissom didnt want to lose focus on work or whatever and they lived in separate states you know#but oh my god i totally get sara. grissom is such a silver fox. he's like one of the hottest old men i've ever seen in my life#you know what i 100% get tumblr sexualizing old men it's completely valid i'm in this now too#he has this LOOK. whenever he's angry at a suspect. and he looks angrily at them. i'm chewing on my keyboard just remembering it#and his smirks#AND THE WAY HE LOOKS AT SARA#im losing my mind#i love all of gil grissom but seasons 4-5 jesus fucking christ#ok enough with the sexualizing i love him as a character SO MUCH. he's absolutely fantastic#one of the things i love the most about him is that he doesn't judge people. whenever the team is confused about someone#or this persons' lifestyle#he's always trying to understand them and not judge them#like a true scientist he wants to understand the nature of things and people#and he's such a sweetheart i love him so much#like there are so many things i love about him i can't fit them all in the tags. same for sara#they're a perfect match for me
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nerdie-faerie · 22 days
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Seeing what presents my baby sister gets and realising I really drew the short straw by being the firstborn
#Demon Spawn#+Extras#tell me why this three year old got a pet budgie for her birthday? she cant even spell yet#none of my siblings have ever had personal pets i wasnt allowed a hamster when i was 12 and neither was anyone else but the 3 year old??#she got her own heat pool for her birthday as well and a barbie dream house taller than her for Christmas#and what did i get childhood trauma perfectionism a fear of failure and anxiety#my mum always goes over the top with the youngest girl it happened with my middle sister in that 5 year gap before my mum got pregnant again#i didnt even make it 2 before my mum was pregnant so i never really got to reap the rewards of being the youngest#the lil ones get spoiled to hell and they get a mum with a fully developed frontal lobe and chiller parents#being the oldest sucks there are no benefits to it only responsibilities#btw im not mad at my sister or whatever its nice for her that she gets to have these things#but what do you mean i got the shtty childhood parents and i still have to argue to be allowed to bare minimal at 23 when the 3 year old#gets special treatment that the rest of us wouldnt even bother asking for cus we dont have all the things that came before that point#my issue is that the preferential treatment she gets is useless to her. she didnt ask for a barbie dreamhouse and she cant even play with it#because shes too short whe doesnt need her own pool because she cant even swim yet she doesnt need her own tablet she cant read yet#she shouldnt have her own pet when she cant understand what it means to own a living creature#especially when we dont currently have any other pets in the house#my issue is that the spoiling doesnt even make sense for her age she cant enjoy it cus it doesnt make sense yet doesnt mean anything to her#my mum wants to spoil her cus shes her littlest girl but shes had 7 kids before this she knows whats age appropriate and this isnt
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the-acid-pear · 10 months
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It's not easy to be a guy with a weird gender and complicated relationships with its sexuality and romantic attraction and fat and autistic and traumatized to the bone but someone has to do it
#luly talks#i tried to rb a post but i hit post limit and i lost it LMAO but i find it interesting how my things overlap#bc as some of you might know i grew up as a fat little girl and you know the world fucking hates us#and on top of that autistic although i had the most neurodivergent ppl along w me#i still wasn't like my other friends tho i always was slightly more lonely slightly more disconnected#they were in on things i didn't seem to be in the social spectrum and i never understood that#and one of those things was indeed romance and dating and in my teen years sex too#like by default i was seen as undesirable. just by virtue of being fat and also kinda androgynous#and the autism just. kept me far away from any social circle or interaction that'd bring me closer to an encounter of any kind#and i always yearned lord knows i still dream of Ana but the thing is i...#i just. love romance in paper#i love the idea of romance. i love the yearning i love the feeling#i know the feeling bc i know euphoria! i know the euphoria that comes from love.#but to me that's a very short lived feeling specially when engaging directly with it#i think its part of a matter of being taught what romantic attraction is and how they paint it#it's similar to how you are taught X and Y is hot even before you understand why#like i remember my mother always joking w me about male mannequins' cocks and like sure i played along#bc i thought it was funny and if the adult i seeked approval from did it then i absolutely should too#but she also scolded me once (and btw i was like 15) bc idk i was acting. like a perv?#and it's so bizarre in retrospective bc it might have been before the age of 15 bc i really didn't care about such matters then#I've always been amaizing at masking i love understanding people and why they do what they do and replicating them#so me being positive to sex and romance is to be expected#but at the same time its weird bc i cannot bring myself to hating it but i also just. dont fucking feel it#but at least w sex comes the horror of having a body too like there's a lot man#but my point is that its funny how despite being seen as undesirable for society i was unaffected bc i was oblivious to it
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The way people keep telling Carmy he's dead (because they mistake him for his brother), not even that he should be dead like his dreams say, but "you're dead," "aren't you dead," and it makes him seem like a ghost, like nothing more than a reflection of loss, but at the same time he keeps the restaurant alive because he IS still alive and he knows it so he keeps on making food (which obviously is massively connected with life and life-giving) he keeps on going into the restaurant because he's! not dead! Even though people keep telling him he is! Alexa play Hesitant Alien by Gerard Way!
(I still haven't been able to watch more than two episodes but I am Always Thinking About Them)
no but like!! that's the thing!!! is he keeps being told he's dead and it's not even on purpose but his dreams tell him it SHOULD be!!! and YET!!!!!! he keeps choosing to live and to try to get better and to try to make things better for other people!!! and WITH other people!! and this is very clearly illustrated specifically in the way he consistently apologizes to people when he screws something up/is a jerk!!! he is TRYING. trying for life and connection and healing and hope. Alexa play Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance
#literally the second song i put on this playlist akskskdjksjs#(the first was punisher by pb bc ''i can't open my mouth and have nothing come out even if i could wouldn't know where to start#wouldn't know when to stop'' makes me think REALLY HARD about sydney)#i have like half of hesitant alien on the playlist maybe once you get to see the rest of the episodes I'll send it to you/post it#but like#YEAH it's about CHOOSING to live and CHOOSING to grow and get better and keep hoping!!!!#it makes me SO insane#the thesis i think really is ''and then you put the fire out'' bc that's.. a very specific but succinct way of summing it up#you can let everything burn down around you- life work hopes dreams- because of the pain and maybe that would#make it all stop hurting. ''if this place goes away it'll take all my anxiety with it''#and it isn't carmy who says then you put the fire out- it's MARCUS who says it and then carmy repeats it#(this is from ep5 sorry skskjfhdk it really is the thesis moment tho)#bc not only is it about making that choice to ''put the fire out'' and keep on living#but also. it isn't a one-person thing. you cannot do it alone he can't do it alone!!!#there needs to be COMMUNITY!!!! richie putting out the actual fire towards the end of the show etc etc etc#syd is the sharpie that works she's the missing piece!!!#idk why i can write meta better in tags shdhssj whoops#this ask may have made my day btw ily <3#Lu rambles#asks#meta finding tag#the bear#BTW GRACIE BABE when u get to watch the rest pleeeeease feel free to throw Thoughts into my inbox 👀#i eagerly await your opinions on the rest of it skksskkskks
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luvevee · 2 years
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The more people make essays on why you should like N no matter what the more I despise him, holy shit let people just not like things
#like holy shit#literally it's so annoying whenever we see shit like 'if you don't like him you're ableist' or whatever#no it's that i don't like him#and it's stupid that after a point it feels like we have to explain why just because people don't wanna accept it#so shit goes from 'i don't like him' to 'ok fine let me make you look like even more of a prick'#he's a creep in the manga: he gets way too touchy and weird with characters like black#he tells white in the manga his munna abandoned him because 'she doesn't have a use for your dreams anymore lol'#he follows around a little kid in the game and puts it on a little kid to save the world or let him get away with destroying lives#the ferris wheel scene. js he lied to get the player in the cart with him so he could be like 'btw-'#he's mad at professor juniper because she *checks notes* made the pokedex to better understand pokemon#he's mad at someone for making a tool to help people and pokemon learn about each other. he's mad at someone having knowledge#'but ghetsis-' yeah he's a prick and an a shitty person but literally everyone knows that and you can like shit while being critical#literally n's whole character arc is realizing he's his own person you can't blame everything on ghetsis#also explain anthea and concordia you don't see them being weird to kids or being assholes#'he's autistic-coded so-' using neurodivergency to avoid the consequences of your actions is the lowest hanging fruit you could grab#literally i have adhd (maybe autism too) and am pretty mentally stunted because of shit don't be that dude#also my bf is autistic like you gonna tell another autistic dude he can't like n because n's coded???#literally being autistic doesn't absolve you of shit that's a dick move to pull that card#also in masters all he does is make everyone feel like shit because all he does is complain about not having a dad#literally imagine just hanging out with your dad and then n ditching you because he doesn't have one#silver doesn't do that js#does he get better? yes but people are allowed to not like him or be uncomfortable with him#literally i don't care if he discovers atlantis#people also ignoring the fact that he literally was pretty ok with going along with separating people and pokemon until a kid said yo no#like he was ok with ripping lives apart even after spending time in the real world#in us/um ghetsis succeeded soooo#anyways that's my rant#because it's getting old with this shit#accept that people don't like n or i will put you in the middle of a haunted cornfield at 3 am#rosebud posting 💐
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olivianyx · 5 months
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OMGG I JUST GOT RESULTS WITHOUT BEATING MYSELF UP WITH ROUTINES 😭 + RANT ✨
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HEYY LUVS! I JUST WANNA SHARE MY RESULTS I MANIFESTED WITHIN 2-3 DAYS! THIS YEAR'S GONNA BE MY BEST YEAR Y'ALL ✋AND GUESS WHAT I DID? NOTHING. LITERALLY NOTHING. NUH-UH. PERIODT.
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⚠ LONG POST AHEAD, SWEARING ⚠
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WHAT I MANIFESTED:
🪄 PASSING MY FRESHMAN YEAR WITH HIGH SCORES
🪄 MY FAMILY BOUGHT A NEW APARTMENT WHICH WERE PREPARING TO MOVE IN 3 WEEKS
🪄 ME GETTING INTO THE VOID STATE 😭 AND MANIFESTED CLEAR SKIN! (DAYUM GETTING INTO THE VOID IS DEFO VERY EASY OMGG)
🪄 GETTING LESS ANXIOUS LATELY!
🪄 MY GASTRITIS AND ULCERITIS GETTING CURED
🪄 GETTING MORE COMPLIMENTS IN MY UNI!
🪄 GETTING TALLER! I WENT FROM 5'3" TO 5'7" IN 2 DAYS 😭😭
🪄 GETTING DREAMS OF ME SHIFTING TO MY WR 🥺 (ACTUALLY RESPAWNING LOL, AS THIS THING IS REALLY CONTROVERSIAL IN HERE, PLEASE DON'T GET ME CANCELLED- I'M DOING DEATHLESS RESPAWNING ✋)
🪄 MY MIND IS SURPRISINGLY CALM 😌 THERE'S STILL INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS THO (THOSE ARE ANNOYING ASS BITCHES) BUT I JUST IGNORE EM LIKE I IGNORE PEOPLE AT SCHOOL 🗿
🪄 GOT MANY CONFESSIONS TOO 😭 AND I REJECTED EM ALL, CUS I JUST WANT TO BE SINGLE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE ✋🗿 JK
🪄 GETTING COOL CLOTHES THAT MY MOM DENIED A LOTTA TIMES! (ACTUALLY I'VE ORDERED EM BUT STILL HAVEN'T SHIPPED TO MY ADDRESS YET LOL)
🪄 MY CRUSH BECOMING CLOSE TO ME HEHE 🤭 LIKE SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME MUCH, BUT LATELY SHE'S BEEN TOO CLOSE TO ME AND ALWAYS WANNA BE WITH ME LOL, 3 DAYS BACK SHE AND I WALKED HOME TOGETHER, WHILE WE GRABBED SOME SNACKS, SPOKE ABT EACH OTHER AND ALL (I FELT LIKE BEING IN A SHOUJO MANGA 😩)
🪄 A NEW PHONE! THAT SAMSUNG GALAXY S22 😩
I MANIFESTED EVERYTHING WITHIN 3 DAYS 😭 I REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES, JUST. 3. FUCKING. DAYS. GODDAMMIT.
HOW I DID IT:
JUST FULFILLED IT IN MY IMAGINATION
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YEP, YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT. I LIVED IN THE 4D REALITY, I NEVER GAVE A SHIT ABOUT THE 3D AT ALL. OK LEMME BREAK IT DOWN FOR Y'ALL SO JUST PAY ATTENTION FROM HERE ONWARDS.
🪄 SUPPOSE SOMETHING UNDESIRABLE OR UNFAVORABLE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE HAPPENING IN YOUR 3D. WHO'S THE CAUSE FOR THAT? YOU. 'BUT I DIDN'T IMAGINE OR THINK OF THESE 😭' BABY, YOU'RE THE SOLE CAUSE, EFFECT, AND THE SOLUTION. THERE'S NO OTHER EXPLANATION TO THIS.
🪄 AS WE ALL KNOW, 3D IS A MIRROR. RIGHT? WHATEVER YOU THINK ABOUT, YOUR ASSUMPTIONS, YOUR THOUGHTS, YOUR FEELINGS, YOUR PERSPECTIVE EVERYTHING WILL BE REFLECTED. SO WHY NOT THINK THE WAY YOU WANT SO YOU CAN EXPERIENCE THE SAME? GET IT.
🪄 IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE 3D, CHANGE YOUR 4D FIRST. CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE TO HOW YOUR DESIRED SELF WOULD SEE THE WORLD. KEEP DWELLING IN IT. IF THE 3D SHOWS UNFAVORABLE CIRCUMSTANCES, DON'T FUCKING GET TRIGGERED. GO BACK TO YOUR IMAGINATION AND DENY YOUR SENSES.
🪄 EVERYTIME YOU SEE SOMETHING ELSE IN THE 3D, GO 'BRUHH THIS IS MY OLD STORY, I ALREADY HAVE WHAT I WANT, THIS IS JUST FAKE' AND MOVE ON. DISTRACT YOURSELF. CUS THE 3D WORLD WHICH YOU SEE IS AN ILLUSION, IT'S NOT REAL. IT'S YOUR CREATION, WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO CONTROL WHAT YOU CREATED? IT'S ALREADY IN CONTROL. YOU ONLY GOTTA REALISE YOUR GODSELF. YOU ARE THE CREATOR, NOT THE CREATION. STOP FUCKING VICTIMIZING YOURSELF.
🪄 I GET IT THAT MOST OF THE PEOPLE ARE CONFUSED BETWEEN LAW OF ASSUMPTION AND NON DUALISM. EVEN I WAS, BUT SLOWLY I REALISED THAT WE'RE ALL NOTHING. WE'RE JUST LIVING IN OUR OWN CREATIONS. VICTIMIZING OURSELVES IN OUR OWN CREATIONS. IRONIC RIGHT?
🪄 THOSE THOUGHTS, ANXIETY, FEELINGS, EMOTIONS ARE ALL IN YOUR PHYSICAL REALM. YOUR MIND, YOUR BODY, YOUR EGO EVERYTHING IS NO REAL, WE ASSUME IT TO BE. WE'RE ARE SHAPELESS, FORMLESS, WE'RE NOTHING! AND EVERYTHING AT THE SAME TIME. CUS EVERYTHING COMES DOWN TO ONE THING, I AM.
🪄 K Y'ALL MIGHT BE SUPER CONFUSED, WHAT I'M TRYNA INFUSE IN YOUR BRAINS. SO WHAT YOU DO IS, LIVE IN YOUR 4D.HOW? IMAGINATION. NO MATTER WHAT YOU SEE IN YOUR 3D, GO BACK TO YOUR IMAGINATION, AFFIRM OR VISUALISE. ANYTHING IS FINE BTW. JUST STAY IN THE STATE OF WISH FULFILLED.
🪄 STOP RELYING ON METHODS, FUCK THEM. JUST BE. DON'T TRY TO CHANGE SOMETHING WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE THEM. JUST STOP, SURRENDER, STOP FIGHTING, STOP TRYING SO HARD WHEN YOUR ALREADY IT. SO GO LIVE IN YOUR IMAGINATION, FULLY SURRENDER. DO THINGS WHICH YOU LIKE. GO LIVE YOUR LIFE. TAKE YOUR POWER BACK.
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LIKE AREN'T YOU TIRED? TRAPPED IN YOUR OWN CREATIONS? YOU CREATED THEM, YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE WHATEVER. TELL ME HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA LIVE THIS BULLSHIT LIFE? YOU'RE REALLY GETTING COMFORTABLE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE. SO LISTEN UP, DO WHAT YOU LOVE, AFFIRM, VISUALISE, OR DAYDREAM, ZONE OUT, WHATEVER. ALL I DID WAS DO THIS MEDITATION IN THE MORNING, WENT ABOUT MY DAY WATCHING JUJUTSU KAISEN LMAO. THEN RANDOMLY AFFIRM, LIVED IN MY 4D, NEVER PAYED ANY FUCKING ATTENTION TO MY 3D, CUS I'M GOD. I REALLY LOVE VISUALISING, SO I PUT ON A SONG AND START DAYDREAMING IN MY ROOM SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT. ALSO, I DID SATS BEFORE GOING TO BED. THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL I DID FOR 3 FUCKING DAYS, AND GOT WHAT EVER I WANT. ALSO I MADE A CUSTOM TAPE TOO (IT'S A GENERAL SELF CONCEPT ONE) I LISTENED TO IT FOR 30 MINS AND JUST WENT ABOUT MY DAY THINKING I HAD WHATEVER I FUCKING DESIRE, CUS IT'S ALL MY CREATIONS AND I HAVE IT ALREADY. THERE'S NOTHING TO GET, IT'S ALREADY IN ME.
LUV YOU, BYE 💋
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yandereend · 10 days
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Yandere Househusband
The wedding
P. 2/?
TW : normal yandere stuff, dubcon, reader is into it?, Tyler talks about children, both are like 18 or 19
Btw English is not my first language so please keep that in mind
🩵Also thanks to everyone who wrote nice comments under the first post🩵
You sometimes watched those trashy shows about the bridezillas who were obsessed with their weddings and made everyones live hell. Like many people you hopped to never be in a situation like this. But here you were sitting besides your fiancé while he discusses flower arrangements, acting like a giant brat.
Is it so hard to put together bouquets with ALL pink flowers?!
Sir we dont have enough pink lillies for all your decorations. You should reconsider some of your choices-
I‘m surrounded by idiots!! My spouse wanted pink lillies so i don’t care if you don’t have them stocked!! Just buy them!
That would be even more expen-
Just do it !!!
And with that Tyler took your hand and you both exited the flower shop. It was almost comical how such a small thing could affect a grown man so much, but hey it’s his day. Tyler had a big pout on his face so that called for your attention and pampering.
Tyler don’t be upset.
But its our day my darling, everything should be perfect! We spend so much time picking out your (suit/dress/whatever you want its your wedding) and my suit. The flowers have to match or everything was for nothing my dear!
Not everything has to be perfect.
Oh yes it does! Have you never been on pinterest ?
That was the whole wedding planning in a nutshell , just an avid pinterest user placing together the wedding of their dreams( yandere style). Sometimes it was cute seeing Tyler being so invested in the wedding, other times it was more than annoying to cater to his perfectionism.
You also often thought about how quickly things progressed. I mean you just graduated high school and are already engaged and working for your fiancés father. Tylers father, Eric, was a great boss, you often wondered why people were scared of him. It’s just your nice father in law! Always explaining everything to you and hyping you up as the next in line of the family business. I mean you’re almost a part of it.
And Tylers mother, Ramona, was the same, always acting like she’s your real mother and caring for you. Not to mention Tyler himself. You were not suprised when he didn’t went out to look for a job or university, he always promoted the idea of a traditional family with you as the breadwinner in the center. And hey, his parents gifted you a house as an engagement gift, so its safe to say that you wont suffer in the presence of those saints.
At least that’s what you thought of them, little did you know that they were the reason why most of your friends cut contact and your family hardly called after you moved out. But hey who needs them anyways.
So while all these thoughts ran through your mind here you were, walking down the aisle with your father and finally seeing the man of your dreams in his perfectly tailored suit and styled hair, with tears in his eyes witnessing your beauty.
Your wedding vow was rather short but still packed with the love you felt for your husband. And after he put himself together, because of his happy tears, he read the most beautiful wedding vow you ever heard touching your heart and everyone else’s in the chapel. So when you finally get to put the rings on each other’s fingers you both stand up there with tears in your eyes.
And when you both finally unite in a grand kiss your fate was finally sealed. Tyler had you finally completely in his grasp, even if you didn’t realize it. And he,as well as his family, will never let you go. So enjoy your wedding party with your family and friends, you won’t get to see them any longer my dear.
Till death do you apart.
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🩵Thanks a lot I hope you enjoyed it, I am planning on making this a series so please comment ideas for your life with your new husband 🩵
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luvyeni · 3 months
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𐙚 : NOT JUST FRIENDS BUT NOT TOGETHER W/RIIZE (reaction) ֶָ֢ !
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request: can u do the “not together but not just friends” for nct dream and riize if you get a chance ?love ur writing btw🫶🏻🫶🏻😽
authors note. i hope you like it.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
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𐙚 : SHOTARO ֶָ֢ !
it was normal to you and shotaro , for you to sit in between his legs or on his lap with his arm low on your hip , rest his chin on your shoulder blade — it didn't matter where you were , he was gonna do it; and he was gonna do it with a smile on his face. you two were always like this , so it confused you eunseok brought it , because to you and him it was fine. "are you two dating or what?" he asked. "why do you ask that?" you felt shotaros fingers dance along your skin. "because you're practically living in each other's skin , there's no way you two are just friends." he said , shotaro just laughed watching you get flustered by the question. "we-we're just friends." eunseok wasn't buying — there was no way you two were just friends. "whatever you say , i think it's bullshit." he said , walking out of the practice room , leaving you both alone. "you know he's right." shotaro finally spoke up. "right about what?" you felt his hands reach lower on your waist his fingers inching into your pants. "it's bullshit." his voice much deeper. "what is?"
"us just being friends , i know you know how much i want you."
𐙚 : EUNSEOK ֶָ֢ !
having his card and using his money money came easy to you ,one day you asked for him to order you something and instead of buying it— he sent his card numbers and told you to just spend what you wanted. that was the first time , so you just spent that — but then you told him you were going out with a friend to the mall , and he randomly handed you his card , and ever since then he bought and paid for everything. "are you two in like a sugar daddy sugar baby relationship?" sungchan randomly asked. "what are you talking about?" eunseok said , handing you his card. "thank you." you smiled. "every week she comes and you just hand her you card , and you don't seem to be dating , so 1. you're hiding your relationship or 2. you're her sugar daddy and fucking." he said. "i didn't even think about that." you said. "you wanna date?" he nodded. "sure." sungchan was baffled. "what just happened."
"we're dating , gonna fuck her after she's done spending my money."
𐙚 : SUNGCHAN ֶָ֢ !
sungchan definitely believes you're more than friends , especially when he constantly has his finger deep in your cunt whenever your heart so pleases —other guys unable to please you , but your best friend knew you like the back of his hands , so who was he to deny you when it was you asking. "feeling good bubs?" he hovered over your body , fingers curled , snug in your pussy." gonna cum for me?" you nodded. "please." he gave you the go , fingering you to completion. "feeling better?" you nodded. "you'll definitely make a girl happy one day." how could you say something like that after he literally just gave you a soul shattering orgasm. his frustrations finally catching up to him , pushing you back down on your back. "chan!" you exclaimed. "baby cut the shit." he said. "what are you talking about?" he smirked. "we both know a friend wouldn't just finger you if he didn't have feelings for you."
"so cut the shit , we may not be dating, but we damn sure arent friends."
𐙚 : WONBIN ֶָ֢ !
wonbin knows how flirty and touchy you could be , because he would flirt and touch back. and not to mention you had unintentional fuck me eyes that drove him up the wall — but he couldn't do anything but sit by and tell everyone that you were just friends and you were just joking around with each other. "wonie." you whined as you followed him around your apartment after the outing , he was ignoring you. "why are you ignore me." you pouted. "wonieeeee." you grabbed his arm , whining even louder— and he snapped , grabbing your arms , pushing you against the wall. "you know , you're really pretty , but so dumb." he said. "wh-what a-are you talking?" you were flustered with how close he was. "telling people we're just friends." he scoffed.
"baby , i feel the way you shiver when i touch your pretty body , even you don't believe that."
𐙚 : SEUNGHAN ֶָ֢ !
as your best friend seunghan felt like it was his duty to do everything for you — show you how a real man should treat a great girl like you — which is why he took it upon himself to take you on a "date" , even if he was busy, he would still make time for your weekly date. "maybe we shouldn't go out this week seunghan." you said over the phone, this came as a surprise to him , cause your eyes always lit on date nights. "why?" he asked concerned. "are you sick?" he asked. "no, it's stupid , but let's just cancel it for tonight." he didn't want to end it like this. "nothing you say is stupid so tell me." he heard you sighed. "well because we do these things every week , and then you tell people we're just friends and it hurts my heart." he heard your voice trembling. "i don't want my heart broken anymore." he couldn't believe it , he let you go too long thinking like this. "well then let's make it official then." he said. "huh?"
"princess , you said it yourself , we aren't dating, but we aren't friends , so let's make it official."
𐙚 : SOHEE ֶָ֢ !
you loved your best friend , you really did — but he could never read the room when it came to your feeling about him — how many please fuck me looks could you give him until he finally got the hint and stopped telling people you were just friends. "shotaro said something funny today." he said. "he said that he always thought we were dating." of course he did , you did everything together. "he did?" you tried to play dumb , but you were losing patients. "yeah it's crazy everyone knows we're just friends." you heard him chuckle , scoffing. "you're so cute sohee you know that right?" you sat up. "but you're so dumb." sohee was confused. "what do you mean?" he said. "he thought that because to everyone it looks like we are one." you said. "even to me it looks like it." he was stunned. "really?" he said. "i never noticed."
"there's only so many times i can skip dates to watch you play games with a chance that'll fuck me before i lose my mind."
𐙚 : ANTON ֶָ֢ !
he loved that you were comfortable around him , as your best friend that's all he wanted , but the fact that you were comfortable enough to walk around his room in nothing but your underwear and his shirt — and the fact that you were completely unaware that you were turning him on , and he couldn't do anything about it because you were his friend ate him alive everyday. "can i have a shirt?" you walked out of his bathroom in a towel. "he-here." he tried not looking at your body. "thanks." you put his shirt on , dropping the towel. "now im comfortable." he smiled , watching you climb into his bed , turning back to his computer. "food is here." wonbin walked into the room , assessing the situation. "did i interrupt— what are you talking about." anton shot up nervously , walking to the door. "i did know you two were you know— we aren't." anton prayed you didn't hear him. "she's half naked in your bed." wonbin was confused. "she's just getting comfortable , we're just friends." anton said , wonbin scoffed. "are you dumb?"
"she's practically presenting herself to you, you might think you're friends , but she doesn't, she's just waiting for you to man up and make the moves"
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©️LUVYENI
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sluttsumu · 1 year
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let me live my fratboy!inarizaki dream okay?
chars: ‘tsumu, osamu, suna, & kita
nsfw — mdni, tw: corruption
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fratboy!atsumu who is literally the worst person alive, but he’s hot and a good fuck so it makes it okay, okay?
he’s fucked every girl from his fan club and every bimbo on campus but that’s not what satisfies him at all. prissy, hard-to-get girls with their hymens still intact really turns him on. why? because he enjoys the chase of a women who won’t instantly fall to her knees for him. secretly finding information about his next target so he could casually end up in the same study period, or walking along the same path just so he could talk to her. it could be labeled kind ‘stalkery’ but he labeled it as persistent, because at the end of the day once her manicure was clawing at his back it’s mission accomplished, and onto the next. “you didn’t think i actually wanted you? did you” he’d chuckle in the faces of the girls who looked at him with tears in their eyes, he figured that in the end they would end up blaming themselves for fucking a known whore anyway.
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fratboy!suna whose an old money nepo-baby, in which he flashes his parents cash to attract gold digger, wannabe future housewives.
slut is an understatement, calculated whore is a better term. as a psyc major he’s the king of gaslighting and manipulation, AND THE GIRLS EAT IT UP. unlike atsumu he somewhat puts in the effort to finding a girlfriend, but there’s always a new one…every month. being sly and cunning is genetic according to him, it’s also the same way he manipulates girls into not wearing condoms. “c’mon pretty, how’re gonna give me an heir with latex in the way, hmm?” and it works every time. every selfish, greedy girlfriend he’s had falls for his antics in hopes to marry their way into his family, and give him a baby. let’s just say the only “compensation” they got was from a therapist or him buying them off to get a plan b the next morning.
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fratboy!kita who is literally so smart he manages to y= m (x+d)^2 + k, girls into his bed.
it’s all so innocent at first when he offers to carry a certain girls books, and that turns into him sitting next to her in class. it’s cute from a far, isn’t it? when in reality he’s just singled out the classes bimbo in hopes to tutor her. day by day he’d observe while sitting next to her, as she’d glance over at him to catch him staring from time to time. she thought that he was maybe admiring how pretty she was or caught on to her perfume of the day, but that was never the case. in his mind he was practically drooling over the way her tits spilled out of her shirt, or when they had a test and he could tell she stayed up all night because she looked completely fucked out. after her whining a few times about her grades he offered to help, which just turned into him making her that much dumber by fucking her over his desk till she was babbling. “stupid girls fall into stupid traps” he’d say, and the fact that he did this every semester meant that he was always right.
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fratboy!osamu who is literally the most nonchalant asshole known around the entire campus.
osamu was too persuasive for his own good. he could never hold a solid relationship or friendship with anyone of the opposing gender, why? because he ends up fucking all of his female friends, and then ghosting them not even 24 hours after. his tricks were the same with every girl, and a night out with him always turned into the walk of shame the following morning. the only notifications any girl would receive from him afterwards is a copy of their intoxicated sex tape which most don’t remember making and a follow up message saying “my friends think you look really good on camera btw”. confronting him after study hall the next day wouldn’t change a thing, simply because the only response he’d give was “do i know you?”
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SLUTTSUMU 2023
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urfavstargirl · 11 months
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inner man challenge! (´。• ᵕ •。`) ♡
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hey babes!! okay, i know i said i was going on break but i got this sudden inspiration and yk i had to make a post!! so this challenge is called the inner man challenge, because it's all about fulfilling your inner man and staying in the wish fulfilled!!
WHAT IS THE GOAL FOR THIS CHALLENGE? ★
making the state of the wish fulfilled your dwelling state
fulfilling your inner man
falling in love with imagination
not caring about the 3d
FIRST STEP! ★
this is crucial! remove the intention of manifesting to be for getting in the 3d!!! "but girl.. the whole point of manifesting is to get it in the 3d" okay yes, if u want to believe that i can't change your mind. but to get it in the 3d we need to be fulfilled, and you can't be in the SOWF if you are still trying to get it! read this if ur still confused <3
me personally i feel like the reason why some people don't get results from methods, challenges etc is because they are doing the method to get it in the 3d, not to feel fulfilled. but thats just me 🤷🏾‍♀️
SECOND STEP! ★
now for the fun part, decide what you want!! df, db, sp, a billion bucks in ur account, being the smartest of ur class, moving out of your paren'ts home, getting into your dream college, literally go wild!!
THIRD STEP! ★
fulfill your inner man when your inner man needs fulfilling! if something bad arises in the 3d that shakes ur confidence, fulfill!
having the urge to look in ur bank account to see if you have a billion bucks? close your eyes, imagine your inner man looking at her bank account and seeing the numbers go up by the second!
one of your family members makes a comment about how ugly you are?? would your inner man care?? NO! bc she's fine asf!
if anything 'bad' happens in the 3d, imagine your inner man saying "uh.. thats cute but i'm living my dream life rn sooo.."
WAIT, IS THERE A SCHEDULE? ★
there's no schedule to this challenge!! no "in the morning say 1409834 affirmations, in the afternoon vaunt for 3 hours, in the night do starfish position and affirm for the void" NO!! literally just fulfill your inner man when ur inner man needs fulfilling!!
"don't force yourself to do a method you don't want to do! don't force yourself to visualize the same scene someone else even though it doesn't create any feeling of knowing inside of you and feels like a chore to you. don't repeat affirmations if you don't want to and don't repeat an aff you don't resonate with. do what you think is fun! and do what feels natural to you! by taking the pressure of being perfect off yourself, it's easier to imagine in order to experience, rather than to get it in your 3d." - @remcycl333
HOW DO I STAY IN THE STATE OF WISH FULFILLED THE ENTIRE DAY? ★
no need to stay in the SOWF the entire day, we are always changing states! for example, right now you're in the state of reading this post, and i am in the state of writing this post. it's all about making the SOWF your dwelling state! so if you accidentally stay in the state of lack 7 times but you are in the SOWF 8 times, then the SOWF is your dwelling state! (btw don't count the times you enter a state lmao)
ANYTHING ELSE? ★
get off tumblr, just delete the app.. like this place is literally just making you overconsume. you have better things to do!
if you have a negative thought don't spiral and think all your progress has gone to waste. breathe in and out, your inner man has it and that's all that matters.
have fun!! this challenge isn't like other challenges (soo quirky i know 😜), it's meant to fulfill you instead of making you stress about the 3d. make fun scenarios in your head, vaunt, just have a good time!!
WHEN you get successes (whatever you consider to be a success: feeling that your inner man is fulfilled, or getting it in the 3d) send it to me or make a post about it using #star's-inner-man-challenge!
if you have any questions let me know in my inbox, bye yall!! 💞
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moonstruckme · 2 months
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hi :3
everytime i send you a request my personality’s different HAHA
okay, sooo, i was thinking (rare occasion) about your casual dominance story (LOVE btw)
so, how about that EXCEPT reader is the casually dominant one >:)
feel free to ignore this, ik this isnt like what u normally do
love ya MWA
Okay so I swear I tried to do dominant reader but it just turned into this, idk how it happened. She’s not super dominant but she’s not submissive and she definitely gets her way, so I hope you like it <3
cw: alcohol, suggestive content + a bit of light degradation, mdni please
Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 601 words
You find the marauders in the living room. At the center of the party, as usual. 
“Hey, gorgeous.” Sirius’ eyes find you instantly. He grins. Remus follows his gaze, and immediately starts talking to James about something else. “I was just thinking about you.” 
“You’re always thinking about me,” you say, bypassing the space he makes for you on the couch to sit in his lap. 
He scoffs, settling his hand on your thigh. You know he can smell your conditioner. You hope he dreams about it. “Sweetheart,” he replies, breath warm on the shell of your ear, “you’re projecting.” 
You let your head fall back on his shoulder, batting your eyelashes up on him. “That’s a five dollar word there, baby. You taking lessons from Remus?” 
Sirius makes a sound like he’s choked on a laugh. He covers it up by taking a sip of his drink. His cropped shirt lifts when he raises his cup, and you swiftly turn around on his lap, covering the slice of abdomen from view. 
He raises an eyebrow at you. He knows what you’re doing, but he hardly minds. You’re conveniently placed to feel something stiff and familiar poking at your heat through his pants. 
You grin and shift a little, delighting when his cheeks pinken. 
Black fingernails dig into your thigh in an attempt to still you. 
“Doll,” Sirius says warningly. 
You ignore him, plucking the cup from his hand and swirling it, sniffing at the liquid inside. Sirius holds your stare as you take a sip. 
“How many of these have you had?” you ask. 
“That there’s my second.” 
You hum, taking another sip. Strong, but not bad. 
“I’m gonna finish this one off,” you tell him. “I think you’re good for tonight.” 
He raises an eyebrow at you. “And why’s that?” 
You lean in close, wrapping one hand around the side of his neck and murmuring against the shell of his ear, “Because it’s no fun fucking you if you’re already stupid when we start.” You back up an inch, looking into eyes now eclipsed by pupil. “Okay, honey?” 
Sirius swallows. You feel the movement of his throat under your hand and stroke the side of his jaw with your thumb. Roll your hips again, just because you can. 
He takes in a sharp breath, hands clamping down on your hips to try and keep you in place. 
“Sirius, mate,” James says from the other side of the couch, “are you alright?” His brow is creased in concern, but you can see the tensed muscles around his mouth from the effort it takes to keep from smiling. Beside him, Remus is doing a much better job at exercising his poker face. “You look like your drink’s gone down the wrong pipe or something.” 
Sirius might normally see the knowing in his friend’s look, too, but he doesn’t take his eyes off of you. “I’m fine,” he says, voice impressively blase for someone who seems like he could cum in his pants with a couple of strategic movements on your part. “Just thinking it’s time me and my bird get out of here.” 
“What?” You make a show of leaning away from him, and the shift in your weight has Sirius gripping desperately at your hips. “Babe, it’s so early. We’ve only just got here. Let’s give it an hour at least, yeah?” 
“Really?” Sirius asks quietly, urgently. 
You take a slow sip of his drink, letting him see the way your throat bobs when you swallow. 
“Yeah,” you exhale as you finish. “Why, are you in some kind of hurry?”
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inosukijiro · 16 days
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𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ! ᝰ 𝐆𝐈𝐘𝐔𝐔 𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐎𝐊𝐀
ᯓ☆ 𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔 : no bc i am making this man a pathetic simp for you idc. im writing these with myself in mind so yk, i have to pour out my feelings. and also i need to get all this giyuu writing off my chest, its actually a problem the fixation i have on this man but no fics tickle my brain just right so i have to write them myself
btw thank you so much for all the love and support on my last two posts. literally you all are so incredibly sweet !! ♡♡ i just graduated college so i might have a bit more time to write but no promises!
! 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 ¡ : none. giyuu might be a little ooc. and most, if not all of my readers will be referenced from the modern era because i really enjoy that concept. i rewrote this a few times so pls be nice 🤧
Giyuu actually doesn’t know how this occurred. No, actually that was a lie. He knew how this happened, but didn’t at the same time. And honestly speaking, the man does not care at all. You were so nice and sweet to Giyuu it made his head spin. Like it makes him ill in the best way imaginable. He doesn’t understand why you want to be around him so much, why you want to be his friend – not that he minds – but he just can’t get past his own indiscretions about himself. That was until you told him to his face.
You tell him that you thought he was cute – I'm sorry? – and you liked how calm he was – really? His brain can’t compute anything that you say. He doesn’t know if you need any medical assistance or he’s just dreaming. But it makes you laugh. The cute, dumb look on his face as he stands there, gaping at you like a fish.
It wasn’t like it was new information. You did enjoy his company the most. He was very quiet and by no means were you either, but you have this habit of matching the energy of people you were with. So, it was almost relaxing and refreshing spending time with Giyuu. Though Giyuu is silent most of the time, he does in fact talk. At first it's about a mission he was on recently, if and most likely when he gets more comfortable with you, he’s talking a little more in depth about random things that are on his brain. It's endearing really. Or sometimes he’s just talking about things that he thinks you might like to know, random facts, and so on.
But sometimes you do the talking and he likes that too. You could talk for hours and he could listen to every word you have to say. He would soak it up like a sponge as you focus your eyes on the crochet hooks weaving in front of you. Your voice is quiet and nice, soft and warm sounding.
This typically happens when you visit his estate. And you visit his estate a lot. Maybe Giyuu was a little disappointed that you weren’t staying with him, but he knows that he shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds. He’s lucky enough to see you this much, as much as he's lucky to see you at all. He can’t be too mad though. Mitsuri has jumped you the first moment she got when the Master had brought up your living arrangements. You had nowhere to go. And honestly, Giyuu may have been a little relieved that Mitsuri of all people had gotten to you first.
He really wouldn’t have minded if it had been Rengoku or Gyomei. For obvious reasons, Rengoku would be happy to have him stopped by and probably Gyomei too, because it seems like they don’t have a bone to pick with him. Honestly speaking, he wouldn’t have minded Muichiro either, though the boy would have probably forgotten your existence within the day. But any of the others, the thought made his skin crawl for plenty of reasons. Maybe it was because it would have become a hassle, or he would be harassed every time he went to visit you. Yes, it does seem on par with him that might just avoid you so you don’t get verbally assaulted like he does if you were to associate with him. But he was a lonely, pathetic man who was enamored with you at first glance the minute you showed up out of nowhere and he couldn’t help but thank the heavens that the stars had aligned so nicely for him – even if he felt he didn’t deserve it.
His only issue with the arrangement was Obanai. The man had almost butchered him on numerous occasions just for showing up to the Love estate. Even if he wasn’t there for Mitsuri, the Serpent Hashira didn’t seem to care. Maybe it was funny the first few times – it actually wasn’t – but you really couldn’t keep your mouth shut anymore. Obanai was wearing you thin with his commentary. Everytime Giyuu was around, it was like the others just couldn’t help themselves by making a comment insulting the man. Maybe it was because you didn’t want to disrespect a Hashira, especially if four of them were in the room with you, but Giyuu was here to see you, and it was almost like insulting Giyuu was an insult to you for wanting to spend time with him.
Mitsuri was okay with Giyuu coming to visit you, she actually encouraged it. So watching Mitsuri stand behind you while you gave Iguro a piece of your mind was something Giyuu didn’t know he needed to see until then. And maybe he did allow himself to feel a little selfish and smile mentally. He still remembers how Iguro had this look of disdain on his face, simultaneously looking like a scolded child and embarrassed because this was happening in front of Mitsuri.
Giyuu wondered if you caught the look that Obanai and Kaburamaru were giving you – if looks could kill and all that – but that was stupid. You most certainly did and just didn’t care enough. And Giyuu also wonders just what kind of sorcery you have, because he did hear you mention Sanemi by name at some point and now he's not bothering him as much, especially when you are around.
It wasn’t like he could do anything about it, not like he had ever done anything about it in the past. He never really had the heart to correct anyone in their assumptions of him, he never really thought he had to. Though, that mainly was because he thought he deserved such mistreatment. Regardless, it didn’t matter how he felt about it and himself. If you enjoyed his company that much to defend him, he was going to provide as much of it as you wanted. But there was something about it that made his heart swell a little bit bigger and flooded him with enough warmth that you could have mistaken it as him having a fever.
Now here the two of you were, sitting outside the Water Estate. You both had taken your places by the koi pond Giyuu has. It's so calm and cool. The soft moving of water could be heard every time the wind blew just enough, as well as the sharp sound of water splashing because some fish got too close to the surface.
Giyuu isn’t losing himself as he stares at the pond, watching the fish move around. He finds himself mesmerized though, as you talk. It’s nice, as usual. He likes how you talk and the way you talk. He could listen to you for hours and never get tired of hearing you. And he knows that if he glances at you now, even briefly, he wouldn’t be able to look away. You just look so… wonderful. It makes him dizzy. But he has such a weak will to do so, and now he's staring at you. Eyes soft and relaxed. He has never felt so content.
Giyuu doesn’t know if he realizes what kind of situation he is in. Or maybe he does. Maybe he’s finally realizing just how much of an effect you have on him. He likes you. He likes you beyond anything in the world. He loves you and everything about you.
You don't notice him staring. You’re too busy weaving the crochet hook in and out of your craft. You make it look so effortless. So enjoyable. And you seem so happy crocheting away as you speak. The way you talk and do it at the same time, you're so smart. You have to be. And Giyuu can’t help but hope you don’t look up. You’re as mesmerized with your work as he is with you. He would die though, if you caught him. The thought makes him sweat almost, being so close to you like this. His hands are clammy, and he's never been this nervous.
Yeah, he definitely has it bad for you. And for the first time in a while, even despite his nerves, he found the corners of his lips curling upwards, in a soft and timid smile. He averts his eyes, almost to gather his bearings, but that isn't enough. The subtle flush creeping onto his cheeks betrayed him. But he couldn’t be more delighted.
thank you for reading !! ૮₍˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶₎ა
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mymarifae · 10 months
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every time someone says "an should have been vbs's leader" or "saki should have been leo/need's leader" i want to . slam my head through concrete. oh you missed the point so bad
1. the "leader" thing is kind of really fucking insignificant outside of where each group's story begins and promo materials. it doesn't mean one character is the "main character" of the group. project sekai doesn't HAVE a main character in the first place it's not that kind of story. each individual character is equally important to not only their group's story but the over-arching story of the whole game
2. leo/need's story begins with ichika because she is ultimately the one that brings them all back together. not saki. it is ichika's determination and frankly stubbornness that gets through to shiho and honami. like, saki was literally ready to give up on reconnecting with honami! (out of love and respect for her choices but like) if she was the focus leo/need would have been honami-less!! but ichika refuses to let it go. much like she refused to let go of their friendships throughout all of middle school.
when the story begins, we see ichika burnt out and hopeless. but that's only after years of trying and trying and trying and trying again to reconnect with shiho and later honami. this fandom does not understand ichika's character well . she's not meek and she doesn't back down easily she's not some like... fumbling "girlflop" she's incredibly driven and strong-willed. she lost some of that due to depression and isolation but as of leo/need's most recent arc ender she has pretty much regained her fiery spirit. she's leo/need's lead singer and MC for a reason
3. vivid bad squad's story opens with kohane because she's the only one who hasn't grown up/partially grown up on vivid street. if an or akito had been the "leader" we would have lost the magic of getting to know vivid street and its people and unique culture. it's all average every day life for them, but kohane is experiencing it all for the first time. it's only through her eyes that the audience can understand just how very special vivid street is
4. one more thing: you could say that the "leaders" represent the themes of each group and the general direction of their story arcs. vivid bad squad, among several other things, is all about improvement and growth and overcoming challenges and creating something new and finding a place to call home within a community. who better to represent that but the socially anxious newbie who never felt like she belongs anywhere and would never do anything with her life?
leo/need is about love and the ability to endure all hardships and preserve that love . it's about having a heart big enough to hope for the impossible and the willpower to make it reality. ichika, in all her hard-headed stubborn painfully persistent glory, is perfect for that.
similarly, mafuyu isn't nightcord's leader because nightcord is ultimately about healing. hope. finding a way to make life worth living again. these aren't paths he would have chosen on his own. he gave up on himself a long time ago. as did ena and mizuki, in their own ways. the best person to represent hope is the one who refuses to give up on anyone and stubbornly believes she can save them all
wonderlands x showtime is about moving forward to a brighter future and not letting the past keep you shackled in place. it's also about having lofty dreams and the selfishness to pursue those dreams. both of these things are why emu Isn't wxs's leader; she lacks that selfishness (i'm not using this word in a negative sense btw; i think being selfish can be a good thing. and sometimes being selfless is a bad one) tsukasa (and rui) has, and she often clings to the past.
and as far as more more jump and all their own themes of hope and never giving up go, of course their leader has to be minori. she brought three disillusioned, jaded ex-idols hope and reignited their passion! she's the walking embodiment of hope itself
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wavesoutbeingtossed · 1 month
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The thing about her musings on her youth in this album is not just about the spending her “prime” years with someone who ultimately couldn’t give her what she thought they both wanted (family, but also in general sense the happiness you get when you’re young and your whole lives are ahead of you).
There’s SO much about her youth in general here, and how the demons of the past have raised and broken her. How each of these experiences have chipped away at her youth. This whole album is give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.
It’s all the things she’s talking about had are part of the same big trauma of the loss of that youth and innocence. It’s snakegate and how Kim K and her lackeys deliberately set out to destroy Taylor’s reputation for sport, which ripped out Taylor’s last few grasps of that young adulthood freedom without her consent. It’s mulling the price she’s paid for spending her entire youth in the spotlight and becoming a commodity instead of a person. It’s looking at a friend’s child and wishing she could protect them from the world the way she wishes she could have been had she known. It’s putting your trust in your first love who ripped the rug out from under you and your faith along with it. It’s spending your time pining for your younger days in the haze of unspeakable loss. It’s carving off parts of yourself as you grow up to make yourself palatable to your peers and your partners and as a result not knowing what parts of you are left. It’s revisiting a love from your past when you still had it all, and after the initial frenzy realizing its hollow. And yes, it’s pouring your heart and soul into a relationship you think is forever and with each passing year the light in the window flickering dimmer and dimmer, only to realize the light wasn’t coming from your home after all, and you may lose your chance to find it again before it’s too late and the dreams you so desperately cling to vanish for good.
And that’s what the end message I think ends up being in So High School: she’s reclaiming the land as it were. All these things that were taken from her and that she gave up are up for a redo. And it’s not rewriting the past, it’s coming to the realization that all those parts are still within her but so is the good. That the freedom she gave up when she released her first album is still found in the backseat of a boy’s car all these years later. That she’s older and wiser and battleworn but that doesn’t mean she can’t find that joy and lightness. “I feel so high school when I look at you” is kind of a loaded statement from someone who didn’t really get to go to high school (both actually and metaphorically). “Bittersweet sixteen suddenly” (love that wordplay btw) because again— she’s been through so much that the feelings of new love that make her giddy like a girl are tinged because she’s been here before and also never been here before because she was never that kid.
(There’s also a whole tangent there comparing Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince to So High School and how fraught the first is vs the lightness of this one.)
That’s why this isn’t just a breakup album. It’s why she dredges up 2016 and Jake and Aaron’s son and childhood and high school and any other number of things. Because she has spent her entire youth and adulthood grappling with the issues that came to roost in TTPD, and while this whole experience underscores that you can never know what’s going on with someone (least of all Taylor, a stranger to us all), I also don’t think it’s a coincidence that she has stressed how much healthier and whole she is now. That is why this whole album is a bloodletting, but it’s not just about a broken relationship. It’s about a whole belief system that has stolen girlhood from her and she’s determined to piece back together in the aftermath of the autopsy.
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