#why go all the way to Australia for one stop/show lol

[petrovna-zamo]

Oh?! 🇦🇺👀

#k #calling it now #and she better take it everywhere #suddenly very excited for what Katya has in store for 2023-2024 #I feel revitalized #a Katya solo tour #is upon us #get ready #I just know it #😭😭😭 #edited to add #that the drag expo in Sydney is May 19-21 #she’s officially making an appearance #why go all the way to Australia for one stop/show lol #but I don’t think it’s a whole tour now #just a week of shows #but still! #excited nonetheless

[sillygoose067]

Over the 7 Seas

Ch.24

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Author’s Note: LOL I found this pic and it seemed so fitting for this chapter, don’t judge.

The next afternoon, Minho called you, asking if you and Cahrles wanted to join them for some fried chicken and beer. Charles, having experienced Korean fried chicken once before and enjoyed the absolute party it provided his tastebuds, readily agreed. 

You were getting ready to go when Charles stopped you. “Chéri, I’m not sure which hoodie I should wear”, he frowned. He didn’t want to seem unfashionable in front of literal world-famous idols, but he didn’t want to seem too forthcoming and go to chicken and beer overdressed. 

“Charles, how many times do I have to tell you that they literally don’t give a shit what you wear. They’re so enamored to be in your presence that they could care less if you went in your pajamas.”

He pouted at you and gave you sad eyes. Sighing, you point at a light brown, cappuccino-colored hoodie that complemented his eyes and read “Life’s a game. Play your cards right” on the back.

…

“So you are saying that you guys were on a survival show, which was aired on live television, and your damn CEO had the audacity to eliminate Felix and Minho?”, gasped a slightly buzzed Charles. The introduction of Soju had misled him to drink one too many glasses of the flavored alcohol. 

“Yeah! And when I confronted him later on a reality TV show episode we were on, he looked me in the eye and said ‘I just thought you weren’t very good back then’! I almost had a stroke from the amount of disappointment I was overcome with! On TV!”, hiccuped and equally drunk Felix. 

“Wow, you guys must hate your boss…”, replied Charles, staring off into a corner. 

“Yeah, we do”, echoed 3racha and Seungmin. “He writes the shittiest songs and then expects us to actually perform them”.

“I can relate”, said Charles sullenly. “My company is such shit with tactics, I seldom listen to them anymore. And don’t get me wrong, I love my teammate Carlos’, he’s one of my closest friends at the moment…” “ But I really hate it when my engineers tell me to let him pass me and then he gets the podium” Tears of frustration begin to fall from his eyes. “I know that people think that I have it easy because I’ve been born and brought up in Monaco, and have an amazing family, and all the females always fall for me— But sometimes I just want people to understand that I am also human and that I also want to win in more than just fans’ hearts, y’know?”, he looks up at the members of Stray Kids looking back at him empathetically. 

“Yeah man, we know. The number of people whom I grew up with at the company leaving, committing to other companies, or just debuting while I was still a trainee and the same age as them…” “ Not the best time for me. Sat there wondering what I was doing wrong and if I was wrong to have left everything behind in Australia”, consoled Chan. 

You intertwined your fingers with Charles’. “I know that it feels like nothing is going your way, but remember why you started racing in the first place, and then, you’ll have a reason to continue pushing through.”

You hear a very drunk Minho whoop. “And that’s why we love Y/n she came into our lives right when we were all down and felt like we would never be able to achieve our dreams, and she showed us the way. If anything,” his head lolls in your direction and his eyes give you a pointed look. “She’s an official member of our group. I just wish we could tell the world that”. He pouts and there are tears in his eyes now. “But stupid PD-nim won’t ever let us, because, ‘she’s a girl and you’re a boy group’”, he mimics in a mocking tone, rolling his eyes. 

…

You manage to get Charles in and out of the taxi, hauling him up the stairs to the floor to your hotel room. “C’mon big guy”, you heave. “Give some help here. I’m like, half your body mass!”

Charles just mumbles something incoherently.

You’re able to get him into the hotel room. Panting, you dump him on the bed and rush to close the door behind you. You turn and sigh, hands on your hips. “WOW an angel! Am I in heaven?”, Charles is muttering now, staring at you. Assessing that he’s not in any condition to get himself dressed, you attempt to lift his hoodie. As soon as your fingers reach the lower hem, you feel him weakly push you, an offended look on his face. Oh no! Did I do something wrong? Does he feel insecure around me? Your thoughts are suffocating. 

“Stop trying to grope me, lady! You may look like an angel… but I have a girlfriend already, and she’s really pretty, and sweet, and caring.”

Your heart warms with pride. Even drunk, your boyfriend is loyal to you and he knows that he’s taken. Raising your eyebrow, you straighten your posture with your arms crossed across your chest. “Really? Tell me more about this girlfriend of yours.”

Charles’ face brightens immediately and your eyes soften. “She has the most beautiful long, dark, thick hair, and the most gorgeous brown eyes I could stare into all day, especially when the sun filters through them… Ohhhh it’s like they glow… Her skin is so smooth and a beautiful light tan, reminds me of perfectly made hot chocolate… and she’s so funny… and she hates superficial people… and she is so passionate about everything she does… and lights up every room she steps into… And to be honest”, his excited voice drops to a whisper as if he’s telling you a secret. “To be honest, I think I’m in love with her.”

Your breath catches in your throat, and you stifle a sob. “Yeah?”, you whisper back to him. Then you flick his forehead. “I’m your girlfriend, you dummy.”

His eyes widen comically and you take this chance to finally get him changed. 

Before getting into bed next to him, you find him passed out. “I think I’m in love with you too.” And then you too, are out like a light. 

#f1 #formula 1 #kpop #jyp entertainment #jyp stray kids #smut #fluff #f1 x reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #JYP hatetrain #Bad jyp

[lamonnaie]

bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

Thanks for the tag @fiercynn !! This is a really lovely idea :)

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc. please include this note with the meme unless you have a different definition!

name and whatever you want to share about yourself hi i'm mars, i use she/her pronouns, i live in australia and i've been into thai/asian bl for a little over a year now. i mostly just lurk and mass rb on tumblr lol, but i'd definitely like to get to know more people !!

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom? I was actually trying to track down the exact date recently (i failed), but i watched it for the first time around mid-september 2022, ended up binging it in a day and been a part of the fandom since

favorite ship(s) patpran <3

favorite character(s) pat !! he's one of my favourite characters from any media ever. I just love how selfless he is and how he transforms through the show, and how bright he is but knows when to stand his ground. i could wax poetics about him fr <3

favorite episode(s) Whenever i watch/rewatch bad buddy i tend to binge it so i can never distinguish betweens episodes lol. In general, ep 12 is definitely one of my favs because i feel like it ties things up nicely and i like seeing them happy :) i can probably give a better answer for favourite scene...

favorite scene(s) ...which is why it's great that this is the next question!

In no particular order: the staircase proposal scene, the bus stop roleplaying scene, the post-curtain bench hand holding scene (specifically that one face pat/ohm makes which imo is the single most most heartbreaking frame in the entire show), the ep 12 post-credits scene (wait was it actually post-credits, i don't remember ajksdjf), the screaming on the rocks at the zero-waste village scene, and the rooftop kiss (ofc)

Basically i just like to see them happy (most of the time) :)

one thing you would change about the show if you could the whole making-it-up-to-wai arc was not it for me. WHY was pran the one apologising and going after him??? still makes me mad to this day, but i think i'd have a lot more animosity towards wai if ep 12 didn't exist (also all the wai redemption arcs in fanfics have made me warm up to him :P)

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people? ahhh so many!! joy of stanning a show that's finished is that it stays going through fanworks, but also now there's too many that i absolutely adore to remember in the moment, sp here's some:

we both know you're my only dream (fic) by @fiercynn: one of my favourite fics ever that i constantly go back and reread whenever i'm having a bad day (or not)

yield strength (fic) by @dulosis: the physics analogies do something to my brain /pos

10 things i hate about you (fic) by @nobodynobodyno: this one's so cute and i reread it all the time

this fmv to tujh mein rab dikhta hai by @transpat: desi moots, iykyk. but fr this holds such a special place in my heart, the lyrics are so patpran and the editing and clip choice is just *chef's kiss*

this fmv to dandelions: IT'S SO GOOD. all the parallels, the dialogue overlaying is just perfect, and the TRANSITIONS (the one at 1:28 especially)

every single one of @hereforlou's art: i'm literally obsessed, i don't always see everything on my dash so i'll literally check their tumblr every couple days. is this stalker behaviour? possibly, but if you've seen their art i think you'd understand.

Also special mention to this one gifset of the staircase proposal scene which was my first ever exposure to bad buddy, it made me watch the show to begin with, but i didn't rb it when i first saw it so now it's lost to the times 😭😭

I have an insane amount of fanfic i wanted to put here but for the sake of length of this post, i restrained myself ajskdjf

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made? i do not (yet 👀)

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol) pretty much every fmv/edit that i've rewatched a couple times set to a song will make me thing of bbs lol, so some are tujh mein rab dikhta hai and dandelions from above, emily by Jeremy Zucker and Chelsea Cutler because of this amazing fic, and gorgeous by Taylor Swift because of this gorgeous edit (y'all please go watch it it's amazing).

idk anything else you want us to know? It's the perfect timing for this because these are my nails right now ):)

honestly not super sure who of my mutuals are bbs moots so i'm just gonna tag some people, feel free to ignore this if you've already been tagged/don't want to do it! :)

@nobodynobodyno @dropthedemiurge @justafriend-ql @cornflowershade @hometothecanyonmoon @7nessasaryevils

If you see this and you want to do it, this is is me tagging you as well !!

#bad buddy #bad buddy fandom meme #bad buddy the series #me #lamonnaie stuff

[aprillikesthings]

YOOOOO IT'S MY WEEKEND and I have eaten dinner and it is time for MORE SHE-RA

yayyyy

OH GOD we're getting into the really good shit btw

if I manage not to do a marathon of these it'll be a gd miracle

Usual reminder: this is a REwatch and there's spoilers ahoy, I make a lot of bad jokes, I reference other cartoons

s4 ep10 fractures

okay before we get started

ahahah

I've given in. I'm gonna cosplay Catra. >_< wish me luck, I'm aiming for some kinda loosely post-canon thing, in part because there's no hiding my age at this point, except via like, photoshop pfft

side note the place I was looking at that makes custom fangs based on dental impressions is usually a month and change out, and the con I want to wear this to is in mid-April. *GROAN*

I have tried the cheap ones they don't stay on D:

OKAY

Dialogue is Double Trouble. Why are you even in the room??

oh it's a truth-telling spell lol

(it didn't work)

LOLOL the disbelief in Double Trouble's voice. "Can she do that?"

oh my GOD (yes it's Double Trouble)

but their Adora looks like Johnny Bravo aaahaha

Double Trouble does blow a raspberry at Shadow Weaver, tho, so they're forgiven

Adora explains the Heart of Etheria Project

Shadow Weaver: oooh we can use this to our advantage Me: okay Boromir but NO

nO

Adora's about to blow a fuse, but I would be, too! Like what part of "the planet could explode" is fucking difficult

Meanwhile, Catra is watching porn video feeds of places the Horde has taken

and thinks she spots someone!!!

(she hasn't, and she makes a sad little face when she realizes)

yeah she's being a bitch but also her deranged little face is great

OR EVERYONE COULD DIE. THERE'S ALSO THAT.

YAYYYY

does anyone else remember the old video "what your fave she-ra ship says about you"? this was made just after s4 actually. anyway I'm remembering it because it includes the line "you just want good things for Scorpia. and really, who wouldn't?"

Daci and I, for a while, couldn't stop quoting the ContraPoints clip used early on to reference "The inherent eroticism of the sea."

"MMmmm yeah. Don't you wanna just...get in there?"

It's a really funny video (I am called out SEVERAL TIMES) and the channel did a bunch of similar videos for other shows.

(also looking at the home page of the channel, she's a she now!!!! HELL YEAH)

Anyway everyone is surprised to see Scorpia :D

And their initial reaction is Not Good D:

the poor thing accidentally stuns Perfuma (...oh god that'S HILARIOUS knowing later stuff)

well that stops Adora in her tracks

back in the Fright Zone, Catra thinks she hears Scorpia's laugh and again is visibly relieved before realizing she's wrong

babygirl you need some rest (and so do your soldiers), you are getting paranoid and hearing things

so what, you're going to torture the rest of the soldiers who haven't left????

(I understand why she does the things she does but I still want to shake some sense into her)

JUST GET SOME GD SLEEP

she tries to call Double Trouble, but they don't answer

I want to give her a hug. But also shake some sense into her.

Another one to add to my "cartoon bondage" collection, as one does. But Perfuma is clearly a little smitten, though: she smiles as she walks away and makes a flower grow in the vines, awwwww

okay oh my GOD okay Scorpia's dialogue is KILLING ME i am CACKLING

"Wow...Yeah, but just-- Shadow Weaver. And at Bright Moon. Everything is making so much sense about why Catra's been acting the way she has."

Adora goes wide-eyed at Catra's name, Shadow Weaver looks at her, and then Adora looks away, pissed off.

like I was saying: SMITTEN

Anyway Scorpia explains why she wants to go find/save Entrapta, who's on Beast Island, and:

bahaha

they relate various stories about the horrors of Beast Island and Shadow Weaver insists they're nicer than the actual place, it's starting to sound like some bad joke about Etheria's version of Australia

I mean also you should go get her because she shouldn't be stuck there but okay

They all decide to go to Beast Island to rescue Entrapta but Glimmer is having NONE of it

Glimmer: "Adora, have you ever heard of anyone coming back from Beast Island? Do you even know where it is?"

I mean, good points, but

aaaugh

Bow: "There's an unstable mass of magic in the middle of the planet. Everyone's at risk unless we can get Entrapta to shut it down."

OKay I'm not typing up the whole damn episode you can read the transcript if you really want to, lol they argue about this for a bit longer, Glimmer even recommends they ask Light Hope how to use it even though that's a terrible idea, Glimmer tries to appeal to Bow but Bow is on Adora's side on this one

oh honey, no

She tries to order Bow and Adora to stay in the castle and not leave

Scorpia's "prison cell" is a very nice spare room. Perfuma brings her a salad and Scorpia doesn't recognize it as food immediately, the poor thing has only ever had ration bars.

Frosta: "It's not a sleepover!!! Perfuma: ":D I'll get pillows, brb!"

But then Frosta asks about her pincers with genuine interest and makes ones for herself out of ice...and Scorpia starts to cry

;_;

;_;

GO. TO. BED. oh my god

I RAN OUT OF IMAGES fhghgh okay gonna reblog

#april rewatches spop #fractures #Youtube

[goldendot3x]

Gap the Series finale thoughts and spoilers and feelings

Aaaaaaaaa, what an ending! Love it! There’s tears, laughter and drama. And a bit of a lecture. Lol

Mon slowly coming to the acceptance that break-up is imminent but cannot let go of the love she has for Sam. Watching the slow break up hurts so much. But goddamnit they did it in a beautiful way. Both at Sam’s house and also when she’s taking down The Sam Shrine.

Sam. I love you. I truly do. You are my blorbo, my sad little meow meow and my mess of a lesbian. But, for fuck sake, answer that damn phone! Or at least text back! Urgghhh (But I do understand why you’re being stupid right now and that is exactly why I love you)

I love The Gang. I truly do. All queers should have one group of friends like that. And they are so supportive of Mon it’s heartwarming. Their heart broke the same time as Mon’s does.

TeeYuki acknowledgement. Finally. And Tee, I love all your outfits. Why are you so handsome and dapper.

Neung oh Neung. Aside from Sam, you’re also an epitome of a traumatized child that still love their parents figure despite everything. I get you. I get you on so many levels.

Tee, stop trolling Jim. But don’t, actually. I love that you will troll and burn your friends mercilessly.

Kirk. Oh Kirk. Only NOW you realised it? Fuck you. I still hate you. You will never be redeemable in my eyes.

Evil Grandmother. Now upgraded to Disliked Grandmother.

Mon, how can you look so gorgeous while going through a heartbreak? Don’t believe Tee when she said you look awful.

It is true, Sam only bends her head and knees to 2 people. Grandma and Mon.

Disliked Grandmother, why does it needs 2 men to tell you about it before you believe about Sam’s happiness and stop controlling her life? Your 3 grandchildren have been telling you about it for years and years. The thing is, I totally understand where she is coming from. But damn it I still hate what she represents. Also, her relationship dynamics with Sam might hit too close to home.

Fuck, they both love each other so much.

Fuck. It’s the cheap jewelleries. She can’t let go. Sam still loves Mon so damn much.

I guess watching your grandchild slowly withering away is more sobering than suddenly receiving a phone call that another of your grandchild is in an accident, huh grandma? Still, I kinda get it, in a way. Song’s passing is sudden. And she did not know or have met Ice. In contrast, Sam’s withering away is slow and in front of her eyes. And she met Mon. And she has seen how Sam is when she’s with Mon. Also, Sam is her favourite grandchild, so it might be different.

Khun Phoom. A bit in-your-face-lecture there. I was expecting him to introduce Grandma to his boyfriend or something. Lol.

I understand why there is a need for the Khun Phoom character. Sometimes, people like grandma, that cares about status, what people say and what not, requires people that is on her level or higher to show and say those things before she can believe and accept it.

Grandma: just don’t be inappropriate in Public

Sam: proceeds to drive like a racecar driver, then becoming a road bully, then asking the love of her life to accept her back, at roadside mind you, and then proceeds to kiss her in full view of everyone that is driving on that stretch of the road (and any pedestrians if any)

Sam is wearing Pink!!!!

Sam, maybe you should start that convo with Mon by saying your wedding with Kirk is off. You really need to attend communication skills class.

Mon honey. Why don’t you ask Sam to follow you to England? But yeah I get it. I also did not apply to a job in Australia when my ex said it’ll be far from her so I can’t judge you there Mon.

Kirk and Khun Phoom 👀👀👀

(Alas, it is implied it’ll be Kirk + Kade)

Kade, honey. Kirk is The Guy you have been bashing with your friends. Please re-consider.

I love the song!!!!!

It is really the kind of ending that fits the overall mood of this series.

#still have a lot feelings #this series is consistent in asking us to suspend a lot of disbelif #and I respect that for them #nevertheless I love it! #one of the best series that I watched #(not that I watch many series anyway lol) #tagging you coz you said you want to see my word vomit too #I don’t even start on how I feel watching this from start to end as a south east asian #gap the series #gap the series spoilers #purrpickle

[septembersghost]

i love your review of elvis. i had previously kind of resisted seeing baz's films, just having the impression that they were going to be Too Much for me, but when i heard he was tackling an elvis film, i thought the energies seemed to fit, even though i didn't know much about either man. but if his other films have that same effect of worming under your skin, i need to watch them all. i saw elvis four times in theaters and haven't stopped thinking about it/elvis for a single day since, it's outrageous. i think it makes so much sense to have an outside narrator of elvis' story drive the film. austin shows us the dynamic complexity of elvis through his every movement, but the film and the colonel and the audience are still crying to cage him into that still-life image, inserting distance between us and him. i think the film is always thinking about whether that distance is necessary to actually "love" a person you don't know, but that is the same question that paralyzed elvis with fear. his deep sense of isolation was always fighting against his love for other people and his longing to be on the ground with them, but he sensed that he couldn't let anyone see how much he was struggling lest they pull away. i keep thinking about how the first lyric we hear is "oh, let our love survive," and the film is like ... how much are you going to suffer to keep it going? and who tricked you into thinking you didn't deserve to be loved without giving so much of yourself away? it definitely works as a reflection on hollywood and culture, but it becomes more deeply personal and compassionate toward elvis the more you know about him. <3

chelsea! first of all, i never did take a moment to say how glad i am to see you again and to have you here <333

baz's signature is doing The Most and giving softly dreamy to intensely spliced energy to The Aesthetic, but he somehow manages this in a way that ends up being emotionally affecting and clings to you after viewing. (i think his only film i haven't seen is Australia.) he has a very specific signature and style influenced by his passion for dance/music/fashion, and it's fun seeing how he decides to express that and utilize it as an essential aspect of the storytelling, plus catherine martin makes such beautiful costumes for everything that are illustrative of character and design in such a rich way. i definitely understand why you might have thought his films would be a lot! but since you did enjoy elvis, i wouldn't hesitate to encourage you to give his others a try! moulin rouge remains a particular nostalgic favorite to me (i used to have a moulin rouge poster on my door as a teenager, i still remember my dad buying it for me in the mall. it was one of thee movies for me in high-school. my ex-best friend and i used to blast the soundtrack on repeat, one time during lunch in the classroom we used to hide out in, he jumped on a table to reenact ewan mcgregor singing your song. when i was first very ill, it was a movie i put on a lot. i'm sure this reveals something about me spiritually lol).

something with baz's style that comes through is the incandescent power of music and its deep connection to us. music is always almost like its own character, and he plays with interjecting those anachronistic pieces to give the stories a modernist edge while still staying rooted in their own times, which is very interesting! i loved the strong mix of elvis' own music with the honor to the gospel/r&b/black artists who influenced and inspired him, further mixed with artists he himself inspired and who are creating work now. it made those threads so potent and alive. you're right that the energies match well.

you described this beautifully, i honestly think reading this helped me sort through some of my thoughts and put parts of the film into better context! we have that distance because we're constantly observing, as an audience even when we do feel that sense of love and admiration/appreciation for an artist, there's also a certain complicity because we can never actually know them, and we do inherently want something from them. we can never be undemanding of them as humans, it's that tension where we cherish the art, but we're also by necessity consumers of it. we can't help but be part of the pressure and the noise, even when we try our best to exercise that with empathy for a person. there is an uncrossable distance.

austin shows us the dynamic complexity of elvis through his every movement, but the film and the colonel and the audience are still crying to cage him into that still-life image !!! exactly, and that's what i was referring to a bit in how the idea of an everlasting image haunts me at times, because that can never be a fully realized acknowledgment of anyone. the indelible iconography of it all becomes so much bigger than life that if we want to find the humanistic reality again, it takes some excavation. that's fascinating and heartbreaking to me.

the predatory nature of that framing device gives a lingering sadness to it too, where we are put both into the perspective of our place as audience members, but we also become emotionally connected to the person elvis was and have that reaction of sorrow. i kept wishing desperately that i could protect him from all the things. the ending as well, when it confronts that concept of "love" between an artist and their fans, and how massive that is, how it's intoxicating and enriching, but can also be corrosive. it's difficult and it's moving and it's complicated to navigate.

i think the film is always thinking about whether that distance is necessary to actually "love" a person you don't know, but that is the same question that paralyzed elvis with fear. his deep sense of isolation was always fighting against his love for other people and his longing to be on the ground with them, but he sensed that he couldn't let anyone see how much he was struggling lest they pull away. yes, VERY much so. he tried so hard to conceal that hurt and those struggles because people depended on him, but also because he depended on them too and understandably feared the loss of that love.

the use of suspicious minds as the film's overarching theme was perfect. it totally reframed its meaning and made it speak to both his inner and outer life, to the weight of that fame and love and need.

the film is like ... how much are you going to suffer to keep it going? and who tricked you into thinking you didn't deserve to be loved without giving so much of yourself away? it definitely works as a reflection on hollywood and culture, but it becomes more deeply personal and compassionate toward elvis the more you know about him. absolutely. it's a big question and often sadly a universal one regarding culture and consumption, the expectations put on famous artists to give and give continuously without breaking or showing the cracks (which is impossible and harmful), the demands when such a bright spotlight becomes searing, the strain that comes even from adoration because it's not wholly real. it also subtly questions our fascination with that suffering without exploiting it for visceral shock value. i really appreciate the way the film handled the ending, for example, giving us enough without ever being cruel or relishing in the tragedy for the sake of it. the compassion there is so central.

i knew a bit about him personally, and was familiar with many of his biggest hits, just by virtue of cultural osmosis and the long-held interest i have in older films/music, but the film made me want to do deeper dives into the personal story and the deeper cuts of the music, and i'm loving exploring that, which makes it even more wonderful to be able to share with you! thank you for posting about him and the film because it's what sparked my interest even further to watch it! i've caught up on a lot of movies over the past couple of weeks, but i think elvis had the biggest impact on me, both in thinking about it and the expanse of its themes, and emotionally in feeling both for him and for the magic that exists in the way music keeps living forever. 💗

#joons #letterbox #this was such a joy to read thank you for sending it to me! #elvis #also not to expose sw*ftie brainrot but i keep thinking about the themes of elvis and dear reader #we're caught in a trap; i can't walk out; because i love you too much baby #if it feels like a trap you're already in one #you don't have to answer just 'cause they asked you #i wander through these nights; i prefer hiding in plain sight #my fourth drink in my hand; these desperate prayers of a cursed man #no one sees when you lose when you're playing solitaire #you should find another guiding light but i shine so bright #idk i could write a lot about this lol the thematic parallels hit me hard

[leqclerc]

I'm so sorry bestie i just really need to rant rn. Like ferrari is literally fucking Charles over race after race and he always takes it with so much grace and kindness, never blaming the team, always holding himself accountable and he gets absolutely nothing in return. Like literally nothing. That video on b*notto talking to him makes me so unreasonably angry like stop wagging your finger at him, he has every right to be furious at you and the whole clown show so don't act like he is being unreasonable or anything. Like how can they throw away win after win??!? I just don't get it. You have a driver who is clearly cut out to race for a wdc and you don't prioritise him??? Am I supposed to believe that sainz is anywhere near his level??? They had no issue picking Charles over Seb (or at least they did imo and like I kinda get it) so why are they having such a hard time with it now??? And like Charles is stupidly loyal to this team and he wants to win here, with them, but how many more times will they let him down before he realises that huh maybe ferrari kinda sucks??? And like I want him to go on a rampage. I know that he'd never talk badly about them but I wanna hear him drag the team through mud, to tell everyone they suck and that he is disappointed and mad and saying that "the next race will be better" is not enough. I wanna see him destroy sainz at every given chance and race for himself and just go absolutely insane. I wanna see him enter his reputation era. I want to see ferrari on its knees begging him to stay and for forgiveness. I wanna see ferrari clearly treat him as a number one driver. Like I don't see him leaving and even if he did, where he'd go? But I want ferrari to make a fucking effort lol. Anyways, sorry for using your ask box for this and thank you for listening to my rant💖💖

No, you're so right, thank you for sending this in ❤️

Because they're essentially showing that trust, patience and loyalty isn't worth very much and when it comes down it it's every man for himself. Which is a part of racing, sure, but I don't think drivers are used to their own teams being their biggest rival/obstacle.

You make such a good point here, I keep thinking the same myself. Like, if I speak on it I'll probably get blasted, but it's so true and the attitude shift is so noticeable. The pit wall was very comfortable using team orders with Seb and Charles whenever they were near each other on track (which happened frequently since they were evenly matched on pace). Even when they weren't going for the win (in Australia 2019 they finished like 4th and 5th so) and the car wasn't consistently quick enough to be a title contender.

Now though? They literally dragged their feet for ages, costing Charles time, energy, and tyre life. Then they essentially chicken out of committing to a decision and just pit the teammate. They come out behind each other and the situation repeats itself. Again they're slow to respond, hesitant, but Charles eventually is let past to create a gap. And that all comes tumbling down under one safety car pit stop window. They say things but don't exactly enforce them very well - during the safety car period Sainz was told his priority is to defend from the guys behind and to let Charles create a gap in front, so the intention might've been there, but the execution? ...

Idk, a part of me thinks maybe he was antsy to get his "firsts" and by extension the team was too, but now that it's happened, where do they go from here? I don't think it'll change anything, at least not in a good way. Now you've essentially taught one driver that it's okay to disobey orders if it benefits him. Also the fact that both times Charles slipped completely out of podium contention, just left out there like a sitting duck...fuck, it was grotesque.

Imo B*notto was always a poor leader, always comfortable with throwing his drivers under the bus instead of reflecting on his own behaviour and attitude. People started warming to him this year and last year when things started improving for Ferrari, but on days like this he still shows his true colours. Berating Charles, saying he shouldn't be disappointed? What, because "there's always next year"? Farcical.

I mean, this is - or rather was, worst case scenario - a year where they are championship contenders. The driver that got himself into a position of being a title contender on merit was Charles. But I guess they don't give much of a fuck about the WDC for him if they still have this "oh well, it doesn't really matter which of the drivers wins 😊❤️" attitude. It's extremely disappointing and really quite baffling to see them going about it like this, consistently failing to do right by Charles, who is, by all metrics, their championship hope. It's not like they don't have a history of pulling team orders. Now they're tip toeing around it even when one has the pace and the other evidently does not. Even when there's a title on the line. What's changed? 🤔

#replies #maybe-we-are-we-were-fireproof #like sorry but how can you say seb and charles got too competitive between themselves and it started being a problem but then allow this #make it make sense???? #like idk maybe they didn't want him to feel left out and wanted to get those firsts but what now? is the wdc even salvageable at this point #do they even fucking care? probably not #.long post

[aereres]

I just want to say, I read your “slipping through my fingers” series like a year ago and I still think about it from time to time. I bawled through the whole thing and the end gutted me. Just suck wonderful storytelling.

My heart aches for Y/N. Andy was her while life, but she wasn’t her son’s life. Hockey became his life and he slipped through her fingers. Just like you tell us with happen in the title. And while it was starting to strain before he moved to the states, in her eyes, their relationship changed drastically. I don’t think she saw it coming and all the sudden she was experiencing something she wasn’t prepared to do anytime soon. And to make it even more painful, he barely communicated with her and hadn’t gone home to visit.

In the epilogue, I couldn’t believe she hadn’t seen him and barely talked to him in 4 years. But that’s the other thing, she could have visited him in the states? If it’s a money thing, surely nate or Andy could help out. Or why didn’t she also move with Andy in the first place?

From Andy’s perspective, did she show any interest in visiting? Did he feel supported by his mother? She was still trying to get him to come back to Australia instead of trying to go to Andy was and see her son play elite hockey.

She either didn’t notice or ignored Andy’s growing resentment toward her. She didn’t take his commitment to hockey at face value and dismissed his frustrations at the lack of hockey resources around. She only took him to see his father in America once because she hates the cold and she hates it there.

She was unwilling to give up her life in Australia or take her sons dreams seriously and the inevitable happened. Resentment.

I don’t think y/n is a bad mother at all btw. But she seemed unable to see things from Andy’s perspective. Or even Nate’s.

I also want to read this story would go from Nate’s POV (not asking you to do this BTW lol). He was away from his son while his son was growing up. Had to get help from y/n to communicate with Andy. He seemed grateful to her through most of the chapters. But it seems nate became frustrated with her unwillingness to make sacrifices for her and his son’s dreams.

But these facts don’t make my heart hurt any less for her when Andy leaves

Anyway, I like to think their relationship did improve and start communicating more.

(Sorry for typos and my stream of consciousness lol)

Oh. My. God. I cannot express just how much I appreciate these kinds of messages from readers. You truly are so wonderful ❤

Read “Slipping Through My Fingers” here

Answer under the cut!

“Slipping Through My Fingers” was born from just a small idea that I had one summer, and I was able to write it in less than two months. It was truly something new for me, because it wasn't one of my signature fanfictions where there was a love story and most likely a happy ending, it was rather something more serious, more down to earth.

I wrote about a non-traditional family that went through ups and downs, more specifically about a mother-son love that can't seem to work as well as everybody thought.

To answer your questions, the main reason Andy and Y/N stopped seeing each other was because both of them just couldn't let go of the life that they had created. Y/N with her life guarding job—the one that she worked so hard for, the dream that she'd had ever since she was a baby —, and Andy with his hockey career—the sport he had loved from the start, that he possibly couldn't let go of.

I feel like Andy began to hate Australia when he realized that it couldn't bring him forward in his hockey career, while Y/N tried her hardest to avoid the US because of how different they are from her new home.

As Andy was born while Y/N was still pretty young and inexperienced, they began growing up together and learning about life as the years passed. This makes me think that, yes, after parting ways on bad terms, they did definitely improve their relationship after years, and would now be back on good tracks. I feel like they would still talk to each other pretty often, and both of them would enjoy some time off their schedules to see each other in real life. (After all, I'm still a sucker for happy endings)

I feel like we could say that this story is about love, pain, and growth, as we get to see each of all these feelings in every chapter.

I cannot thank you enough for reading this story and leaving such a heartfelt message, it truly made my days better ❤ I wish you a wonderful weekend and thank you again for reading ❤

#rere mumbles

[alphonseelriic]

Hi Sofia, hope you're not overworking yourself despite being busy! 🤧

Ooh what is Christmas like there besides being hot? I always wondered why they don't have more popular shows portraying a summer Christmas cus I've never seen that! Like do people do bbqs or something too instead of feasts indoors? 😆 Haha to be fair, where I live it doesn't get snow either and the weather is hit or miss about how cold it is during Christmas season but generally much warmer than most areas' winter 😅. I too admire the white Christmas tho.

Awww your beach days sound positively relaxing!! <3 Hope you'll get there soon!! I miss the beach now too 😩 

No way! Eng/lit sounds difficult haha!! Huge props to you, I imagine there's a lot of papers involved? What do you want to do with your degree? *sending you all the de-stress comfort things during these times*

Thank you for the rec too!! I'll keep that in mind! Unfortunately I read so slow, so I always go for the mindless watching. 😅 

Is shounen your favorite genre? I too love characters who are more than face value. And omg I lovee Haikyuu and almost everyone in there, so I can see that!! Yamaguchi's development was so heartwarming in the beginning.😭

And don't worry I've seen all of FMAB, it's one of my favorite animes so feel free to talk about anything there. I've only watched the anime for Ao no Exorcist but I remember liking it a lot and Rin too. ☺️ So you have good taste!! Thank you for all the insight into your favs, very interesting about Gon too (I'm anime only again lol) ❤️. And please don't stop on my account, I enjoy hearing all your thoughts so be as long as you want haha. 

Question of the week, do you have any favorite colors or palette and why? 

Take care!

- Animanga 🎅

Hello Secret Santa!! I'm sorry for the late reply, today I had a really important and difficult final and I studied all week hahah but it all went well! I got a good grade and I'm in a really good humor rn ;) it's nice seeing the results of your hard work. Hope you're doing well too!!!

Yeah I feel summer Christmas is a really missed opportunity for sure. In the case of my country (and, for what I know, most of south america) most people have reunions with either their nuclear or extended families (in my case it's the latter bc my family is pretty big and close) and eat dinner together, we open the presents at 12 and then stay hanging out till 2 o 3am. My grandma has a big front yard so we put a pair of long tables and seats over the grass. Lately we've been going to my aunt's instead, who has a pool ;)

In general it's a really family oriented and relaxed holiday, but I think it's a cultural thing rather than a southern hemisphere thing. I really don't know how they celebrate in Australia and New Zealand for example :p now I'm curious...

Oww I feel the struggle, living in a place that doesn't have snow can be a bummer sometimes. Winter here feels very gray without it :( but it is what it is....

Yuppp I've written a looooot of papers throughout the career and I still have to keep writing them 😅 they never end, but I was the one that signed up for this so I can't complain much. Hmm to be honest I kinda jumped into this career bc I love reading and I was a dumb 17yo who didn't think much ahead (bad. bad thing to to) but now I would love to work as a text corrector for publishing companies!! But also any kind of job involving libraries is good for me for the time being, I'm not a very ambitious person really. I know the most common path for lit people is teaching but I don't think that's a good match for me, at least not for now. Maybe someday.....

Hahahahah don't worry about it! Despite me loving to read I'm also really slow at reading manga. And I usually only do it when I really liked the anime adaptation to begin with. I think the only one where I started reading the manga first was Spy x family (and now it got an anime and blew up)

I honestly haven't thought about shounen being my favorite genre but I think it's true 🤔 I honestly didn't realize the grand majority of anime I mentioned was shounen LMAO but yeah I tend to like it a lot, specially the less formulaic ones. Aww I'm glad you also love FMAB and Haikyuu :') Yamaguchi's journey was lovely to watch and what cemented him as my fav was how easy it was for me to connect with him! I was also shy and a big pushover in school and I had to learn how to get out of my shell and stand up for myself, just like him. Thanks for the compliment also, Uno reverse card at that 💕

Usually my favorite color palettes are ones with cold colors! Purple is my favorite color in all its shades (but mostly lighter ones) and I love how it goes with blues and greens! I def prefer the more pastel shades in general. Lately I've also been more attracted to warmer colors like yellows and soft oranges, but lilacs and lavenders will always be my favorites 💟

Thanks for the ask and happy weekend!!

#asks #secretsanta2022

[dreamlandxrunaway]

☁1 cloudy day at a time ☁

profiles group 2 (jeongin & co)

jeongin: preschool teacher major; family friends with felix, met seungmin and hyunjin in high school. a bit of an introvert, but that didn’t stop his friends (read hyunjin) from bringing him to every outing/event they could. appears to be somewhat socially inept, but that’s far from the truth - he only does it when he doesn’t want to talk to you. it works, so why not? has a 1-year-long girlfriend, their relationship being kinda... rocky. still together even though his friends (and even some random acquaintances) have advised him to break up.

felix: dance major; met the other two through jeongin, well, mostly heard about them from jeongin, or whenever they’d talk and and the two boys would show up in the background. grew up in australia and now he’s back home, spending a lot of time with his friends. jeongin may have been the one who brought this group together, but he is the one he has seen the least since university started again. literal sunshine and the friends personal cook... mostly baker, but he does enjoy the compliments he gets. he already knows minho, however they aren’t that close - but they do vibe together sometimes.

seungmin: business major; the rich kid of the group - the kind where your parents force you to take over their business when all you want to do is travel the world and take some nice pictures. appears cold but he does truly love his friends, but definitely not more than his mental health. probably the most sensible out of the group, and the one that’s least likely to put up with your bullshit... and apparently the one that’s most likely not going to notice what’s happening around him, that being because he’s too deep into his assignments and school work to really take notice.

hyunjin: art major - once again, specifically graphic design. loves art and loves partying, but he loves his best friends the most, only if they would give him some time of their day. 😪 dramatic and fun, has been the mood lifter of the group whenever something bad would happen, he has his ways of making them happy, even if that means them making fun of his dumbass ways... his reputation precedes him, but hey that’s why they love this horny drama queen. shares all of his classes with y/n, however he’s the only one that noticed... if not for the shared assignment she wouldn’t have even know (or so he thinks)

Masterlist

a/n: what an interesting group these are hah.... yeah i dont have anything smart to add,,, theres like one more group to add,,, with the private accounts + people who matter but not completely,,, or arent as integral part of the friend group lol OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOhhhhhh..... i’ll stop there LOL

tag list: asking,,, buy shooting me an ask,,, also works LOL

#skz #stray kids #1cdat #1 cloudy day at a time #skz fanfic #skz jeongin #jeongin #yang jeongin #jeongin x y/n #jeongin x reader #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #yang jeongin x y/n #yang jeongin x reader #stray kids fic #skz fic #stray kids fanfic #social media au #smau #stray kids smau #skz smau #i.n #jeongin smau #felix #lee felix #kim seungmin #seungmin #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin

[midnightsslut]

Taylor Swift Tours Masterpost

Hey everyone! For absolutely no reason at all, I’ve decided to compile a masterpost of all the regular setlists, surprise songs, covers, and guests on Taylor’s tours with links to YouTube videos when available (I’m only including videos that weren’t featured in official tour movies). I’ve noticed that, although there are posts like this for specific tours, like Red or reputation, some of this information is pretty hard to find, and it might be useful to some to have it all in one place. Also, I’m something of a Taylor Swift live performance ~connoisseur (💀), so I thought I might share. :) Here we go

Note: This is only part one. I don’t know when the posts for Red, 1989, and reputation will be up.

Part One: Fearless & Speak Now

Fearless Tour (April 23, 2009-July 10, 2010)

This tour did not feature a ‘surprise song slot,’ but she did sometimes change the setlist up a bit. She also brought out a couple of surprise guests (most notably John Mayer and Katy Perry), but not nearly as many as she did on her later tours.

Regular setlist: Fearless Tour

1. ‘You Belong with Me’

2. ‘Our Song’

3. ‘Tell Me Why’

4. ‘Teardrops on My Guitar’

5. ‘Fearless’

6. ‘Forever & Always’

7. ‘Hey Stephen’

8. ‘Fifteen’

9. ‘Tim McGraw’

10. ‘White Horse’ (x)

11. ‘Love Story’

12. ‘The Way I Loved You’ (x)

13. ‘You’re Not Sorry’ / ‘What Goes Around… Comes Around’ (x)

14. ‘Picture to Burn’

15. ‘Change’ (x)

16. ‘I’m Only Me When I’m with You’ (2009) (x) OR ‘Today Was a Fairytale’ (2010)

17. ‘Should’ve Said No’ (extended version)

Footnotes:

*Starting from the show in Uncasville, Connecticut on August 28, 2009, ‘Change’ was removed from the setlist. It was added back in Greensville, South Carolina on September 4, 2009. Starting from the show in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania on October 1, 2009, it was removed again.

*European shows on the 2009 leg often removed ‘I’m Only Me When I’m with You’ as well as ‘Change.’

*Starting from the show in Brisbane, Australia on February 4, 2010, ‘Today Was a Fairytale’ replaced ‘I’m Only Me When I’m with You’ in the encore.

Surprise songs:

1. ‘The Best Day’ - Evansville, Indiana (April 23, 2009) Note: This was actually the first show of the tour. Unfortunately, I haven’t found a video of this performance.

2. ‘Two Is Better Than One’ - Brisbane, Australia (February 4, 2010) (x)

3. ‘The Best Day’ - Moline, Illinois (May 8, 2010) (x)

4. ‘Jump Then Fall’ - Foxborough, Massachusetts (June 5, 2010) (x)

Surprise guest performances:

1. ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’ and ‘White Horse’ (already part of the regular acoustic set but performed as a duet here) with John Mayer - Los Angeles, CA (May 22, 2009) (x)

2. ‘The Way You Love Me’ with Faith Hill - Nashville, TN (September 12, 2009) (x)

3. ‘Hot N Cold’ with Katy Perry - Los Angeles, CA (April 15, 2010)

Speak Now World Tour (February 9, 2011-March 18, 2012)

Regular setlists:

Eurasia (February 9, 2011-March 30, 2011)

Note: All of the performances linked below are from the Eurasian leg. Therefore, their quality is questionable. I’m only including these because this leg had a slightly different wardrobe than the North American leg which was recorded for the tour movie. I’m not including videos from performances where the costume is the same.

1. ‘Sparks Fly’

2. ‘Mine’

3. ‘The Story of Us’

4. ‘Back to December’ / ‘Apologize’ / ‘You’re Not Sorry’ (x)

5. ‘Better Than Revenge’ (x)

6. ‘Speak Now’

7. ‘Fearless’ / ‘I’m Yours’ / ‘Hey, Soul Sister’

8. ‘Fifteen’ (x)

9. ‘You Belong with Me’

10. ‘Dear John’ (x) - I’m only including this video because she wore her hair loose lol

11. ‘Enchanted’ (x)

12. ‘Long Live’ (x)

13. ‘Love Story’ (x)

North America & Oceania (May 21, 2011-March 18, 2012)

This is based solely on the first North American show

1. ‘Sparks Fly’

2. ‘Mine’

3. ‘The Story of Us’

4. ‘Our Song’

5. ‘Mean’

6. ‘Back to December’ / ‘Apologize’ / ‘You’re Not Sorry’

7. ‘Better Than Revenge’

8. ‘Speak Now’

9. ‘Fearless’ / ‘I’m Yours’ / ‘Hey, Soul Sister’

10. ‘Last Kiss’

11. ‘You Belong with Me’

12. ‘Dear John’

13. ‘Enchanted’

14. ‘Haunted’

15. ‘Long Live’

16. ‘Fifteen’

17. ‘Love Story’

Notes:

Starting from the show in Toronto, Canada on July 15, 2011, Taylor started playing acoustic covers right after her performance of ‘Last Kiss.’

Starting from the show in Denver, CO, on September 27, 2011, ‘Ours’ was added to the encore, right before the performance of ‘Fifteen’. This marked the live debut of the song. If Taylor had a surprise guest, this was the song she would usually cut from the setlist.

Starting from the show in Perth, Australia on March 2, 2012, ‘Safe & Sound’ (x) was added to the encore. ‘Ours’ (x) was shifted to the acoustic set and was played right before ‘Last Kiss.’ It was only skipped at the show in Auckland on March 17. I’m including a video because, although the performance from the encore was featured in the tour movie, this version takes place on the B-stage and has a different costume (the purple Susan Hilferty dress she wore for half the show lol).

At the shows in Melbourne, Australia on March 12, 2012 and Auckland, New Zealand on March 16, 2012, ‘Fearless’ was skipped.

Surprise covers:

1. ‘Livin’ on a Prayer’ by Bon Jovi - Newark, NJ (July 19, 2011) (x)

2. ‘Dancing in the Dark’ by Bruce Springsteen / ‘Livin’ on a Prayer’ by Bon Jovi - Newark, NJ (July 20 & 24, 2011) (x), (x)

3. ‘Cowboy Take Me Away’ by the Dixie Chicks - Newark, NJ (July 23, 2011) (x)

4. ‘Lose Yourself’ by Eminem and ‘Smile’ by Uncle Kracker’ - Grand Rapids, MI (July 28, 2011) (x)

5. ‘Jack & Diane’ by John Mallencamp and ‘I Want You Back’ by the Jackson 5 - Indianapolis, IN (July 29, 2011) (x), (x)

Note: ‘I Want You Back’ was featured on the Speak Now World Tour Live CD. The second link will direct you to the audio.

6. ‘I Try’ by Macy Gray and ‘My Wish’ by the Rascal Flatts - Cleveland, OH (July 30, 2011) (x)

7. ‘I Heard It Through the Grapevine’ by Gladys Knight & the Pips and ‘Ghetto Superstar’ by Mya - Washington, DC (August 2, 2011) (x)

8. ‘Stay (I Missed You)’ by Lisa Loeb and ‘A Sorta Fairytale’ by Tori Amos - Washington, DC (August 3, 2011) (x)

9. ‘Who Knew’ by P!nk and ‘Unpretty’ by TLC - Philadelphia, PA (August 6, 2011) (x)

10. ‘Sugar, We’re Goin Down’ by Fall Out Boy - Rosemont, IL (August 9-10, 2011) (x)

11. ‘Just a Dream’ by Nelly - St Louis, MO (August 13-14, 2011) (x)

12. ‘God Only Knows’ by The Beach Boys and ‘Sweet Escape’ by Gwen Stefani - Los Angeles, CA (August 23-24, 2011) (x), (x)

Note: ‘Sweet Escape’ was featured as a bonus track on the Target deluxe version of the Speak Now World Tour Live CD. The second link will direct you to the audio.

13. ‘This Love’ by Maroon 5 and Bette Davis Eyes’ by Jackie DeShannon - Los Angeles, CA (August 27, 2011) (x), (x)

Note: ‘Bette Davis Eyes’ was featured on the Speak Now World Tour Live CD. The second link will direct you to the audio.

14. ‘Realize’ by Colbie Caillat’ - Los Angeles, CA (August 28, 2011) (x)

15. ‘Drops of Jupiter’ by Train - San Jose, CA (September 1, 2011) (x)

Note: ‘Drops of Jupiter’ was included in the Speak Now World Tour concert movie. An audio was also featured on the standard CD.

16. ‘Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)’ by Green Day - San Jose, CA (September 2, 2011) (x)

17. ‘Untouchable’ by Luna Halo - Sacramento, CA (September 3, 2011) (x)

18. ‘Closer to Love’ by Matt Kearney - Portland, OR (September 6, 2011) (x)

19. ‘You & Me’ by Dave Matthews Band - Tacoma, WA (September 7, 2011) (x)

20. ‘Nashville’ by David Mead - Nashville, TN (September 16-17, 2011) (x), (x)

Note: ‘Nashville’ was featured as a bonus track on the Target deluxe version of the Speak Now World Tour Live CD. The second link will direct you to the audio. PS: This is one of my favorite covers she’s ever done.

21. ‘Lucky’ by Britney Spears - Bossier City, LA (September 20, 2011) (x)

22. ‘Swing, Swing’ by The All-American Rejects - Tulsa, OK (September 21, 2011) (x)

23. ‘How to Save a Life’ by The Fray - Denver, CO (September 27, 2011) (x)

24. ‘Animal’ by The Neon Trees - Salt Lake City, UT (September 28, 2011) (x)

25. ‘Baby Girl’ by Sugarland - Atlanta, GA (October 1-2, 2011) (x)

26. ‘Ain’t Nothing ‘Bout You’ by Brooks & Dunn - North Little Rock, AR (October 4, 2011) (x)

27. ‘Breathless’ by Better Than Ezra - New Orleans, LA (October 5, 2011) (x)

28. ‘Boys of Summer’ by Don Henley - Dallas, TX (October 8, 2011) (x)

29. ‘The Back of Your Hand’ by Dwight Yoakam - Louisville, KY (October 11, 2011) (x)

30. ‘Wide Open Spaces’ by The Dixie Chicks - Lubbock, TX (October 14, 2011) (x)

31. ‘What Hurts the Most’ by Jeffrey Steele - Oklahoma City, OK (October 15, 2011) (x)

32. ‘Dare You to Move’ by Switchfoot - San Diego, CA (October 20, 2011) (x)

33. ‘No Parade’ by Jordin Sparks - Glendale, AZ (October 21, 2011) (x)

34. ‘You Learn’ by Alanis Morissette, ‘Baby’ by Justin Bieber, and ‘She’s So High by Tal Bachman (all played in succession along with ‘You Belong with Me’) - Toronto, Canada (July 15, 2011) (x)

35. ‘Complicated’ by Avril Lavigne, ‘Baby’ by Justin Bieber, and ‘I’m Like a Bird’ by Nelly Furtado - Toronto, Canada (July 16, 2011) (x), (x), (x)

Note: She only played excerpts from each song. A full video isn’t available.

36. ‘Complicated’ by Carolyn Dawn Johnson - Edmonton, Canada (August 18, 2011) (x)

37. ‘Summer of 69’ by Bryan Adams - Vancouver, Canada (September 10, 2011) (x)

38. ‘Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)’ by Alan Jackson - Vancouver, Canada (September 11, 2011) (x)

39. ‘All You Wanted’ by Michelle Branch - Glendale AZ, (October 22, 2011) & San Antonio, TX (October 25, 2011) (x)

40. ‘Run’ by George Strait - San Antonio, TX (October 26, 2011) (x)

41. ‘Hold On’ by Jack Ingram - Memphis, TN (October 30, 2011) (x) (skip to 21:46; this video includes all the Speak Now Tour covers)

42. ‘Cry Me a River’ by Justin Timberlake - New York, NY (November 21, 2011) (x)

Surprise guests:

1. ‘Baby’ with Justin Bieber - Los Angeles, CA (August 23, 2011) (x)

2. ‘I’m Yours’ with Jason Mraz - Los Angeles, CA (August 24, 2011) (x)

3. ‘Tonight, Tonight’ with Hot Chelle Rae - Los Angeles, CA (August 27, 2011), (x)

4. ‘Super Bass’ with Nicki Minaj - Los Angeles, CA (August 28, 2011) (x)

5. ‘That’s What You Get’ with Hayley Williams - Nashville, TN (September 16, 2011) (x)

6. ‘Bleed Red’ with Ronnie Dunn - Nashville, TN (September 16, 2011) (x)

7. ‘Big Star’ with Kenny Chesney - Nashville, TN (September 17, 2011) (x)

8. ‘Keep Your Head Up’ with Andy Grammer - Nashville, TN (September 17, 2011) (x)

9. ‘Just to See You Smile’ with Tim McGraw - Nashville, TN (September 17, 2011) (x)

10. ‘Yeah!’ with Usher - Atlanta, GA (October 1, 2011) (x)

11. ‘Live Your Life’ with T.I. - Atlanta, GA (October 2, 2011) (x)

12. ‘Meant to Live’ with Jon Foreman - Glendale, AZ (October 21, 2011) (x)

13. ‘She’s So High’ with Tal Bachman - Vancouver, Canada (September 10, 2011) (x)

14. ‘The Middle’ with Jim Adkins - Glendale, AZ (October 22, 2011) (x)

15. ‘Just a Dream’ with Nelly - Houston, TX (November 5, 2011) (x)

16. ‘Right Round’ with Flo Rida - Miami, FL (November 13, 2011) (x)

17. ‘Alright’ with Darius Rucker - Columbia, SC (November 18, 2011) (x)

18. ‘Who Says’ with Selena Gomez - New York, NY (November 22, 2011) (x)

19. ‘Fire and Rain’ and ‘Fifteen’ (part of the regular setlist but performed as a duet here) with James Taylor - New York, NY (November 22, 2011) (x)

Surprise songs.

1. ‘Superman’ - Kansas City, MO (September 24, 2011) (x)

Note: This is the only live performance of ‘Superman’ to date. The video begins with an excerpt of her ‘Last Kiss’ performance, so you’ll have to skip to circa 1:30, but unlike other recordings, it’s complete. This is six minutes of pure joy.

2. ‘Never Grow Up’ - Lexington, KY (October 29, 2011), Houston, TX (November 5, 2011), Raleigh, NC (November 17, 2011) (x)

3. ‘Eyes Open’ - Auckland, New Zealand (March 17, 2012) (x)

Note: This marked the live debut of the song, as it had not even been released at the time of the performance.

#live #speak now #speak now tour #masterpost #fearless tour #audio #video #speak now world tour #fearless #Taylor Swift #covers #surprise songs #Taylor Swift live

[nineteenninety-six]

It’s What We Make It

Just a warning, this is technically based in S2 but at the same time it’s not. It contains scenes from seasons I like but it doesn’t follow the show’s timeline. Also, a lot of time skips because I’m lazy.

This took me two weeks to write and though I wish it could be better, I’m done with it. It was meant to be a request fulfil but it’s so far gone from that lol. Also this better appear in the bloody tags otherwise I’ll fight someone

Word Count: 14,827

The night (Y/N) escaped from her family's home would be a night she would never forget.

She disappeared in the middle of the night and triggered the plan she had spent almost a year planning. Due to what her family did for a living, she worked alone in case she got caught.

Her family had enough money to the point where they wouldn't notice a small amount going missing, which is exactly what she did. She took enough to ensure she left the country quickly and safely. She also stashed a few jewels and other expensive items to sell once she reached her destination.

She planned to go to England. She didn’t know where in England she would go but England was far away enough from her home country that she should be able to live comfortably and without fear.

(Y/N) didn’t know what her family would think about her disappearance, maybe they’d think that a rival gang had kidnapped her, but she knew that they wouldn’t let it simply go and they would send people to look for her. 

.•° ✿ °•.

Once (Y/N) arrived in England, she took a random train to Birmingham and then another to Small Heath. She had no clue where she was going or what these places were like but she did not let that stop her and if it was not the place for her, then she would move on. 

When she arrived it was late in the day but the streets were not quiet and (Y/N) could see a pub at the end of the street that was filled with people to the point that people spilled out onto the street outside and the faint sound of people talking and singing spilled out alongside them. 

(Y/N) gave the pub one last glance before she made her way into the small hotel and paid for a room. She would spend a few days at the hotel and discovering the place before she decided if Small Heath was a place where she was to stay long term.

(Y/N) garnered a few stares of curiosity as she walked around Small Heath which wasn’t surprising since she was clearly an outsider. The town was clearly one that wasn’t used to new people but they seemed merely curious at best. 

She wandered around the main road where all the shops rested, making mental notes of them and she passed by the pub that was alive with people the night before stopped by a small cafe for lunch. The sweet owner easily answered any questions she had, seemingly not having an issue with the fact that she wasn’t from around there and even though she had only been in Small Heath for less than two days, (Y/N) was pretty sure this was the place she wanted to stay. 

She asked the cafe owner about any job openings in town and was informed of the Garrison, the pub she saw earlier, was looking for a barmaid.

(Y/N) had never worked a day in her life but she wouldn’t be able to survive for long on the money she got from selling the stuff she had brought with her. She didn’t have the skills or the experience to become a barmaid or for any job for that matter, as she never had a reason to. Her family had drilled into her at a young age that once she was old enough, she would be married to another gang family. Either as a gift to thank a family that had been long loyal or to a rival to calm rising tensions and to gain allies.

She had been coddled for her entire life. Her parents gave her the best tutors in the country but she had barely left their manor at all through her childhood, which gave no social skills or friends but that was all about to change.

When she entered the pub, there was only one man in there and he was sweeping the floor but he looked up when she walked in.

“I heard that you were looking for a barmaid?” (Y/N) spoke first, when the man did not.

The man looked her up and down with a disbelieving stare, “You? A barmaid? Don’t make me laugh”

“Please,” (Y/N) took a step forward, “I’m desperate”

“Look, the people around here aren’t nice. Especially when they are drunk. You just look a bit too delicate to work here”

“I can hold my own”

She could. It wasn’t uncommon for her father to hold parties or dinners where he and his allies would drink until the sun rose and he’d always make her stay the entire night, most likely to show off how dutiful she was.  After all, the men in that type of business weren’t looking for a headstrong and independent woman, they’re looking for a meek woman that would obey their instructions and carry their children to continue the family name and (Y/N) wasn’t that type of woman. 

The man still didn’t look like he believed her but he must have seen the desperation in her eyes as he let out a resigned sigh, “Trial run tonight. If you do well, you get the job.”

(Y/N) bobs her head with a pleased smile, “Thank you.”

“Harry” The man held out his hand.

(Y/N) shook it, giving him her name.

“Seven pm on the dot tonight.”

“Thank you, Harry, I’ll be there”

.•° ✿ °•.

At seven pm, the pub only had a few customers but she dealt with those easily. Harry had taught her how to pour a pint and create a few other drinks and luckily for her, the people of Small Heath were simple when it came to their drinks.

By nine pm, the Garrison was filled to the brim with people. A portion of the pub was loudly singing along to the song that the woman at the piano was playing and the rest of the patrons were talking with their friends, almost shouting to be heard above the singing.

The atmosphere was unlike anything (Y/N) had ever experienced before but she found herself enjoying it. She didn’t think she stopped moving for a moment as she spun around the bar, fulfilling orders until a small window at the corner of the bar, something she hadn’t noticed until that moment had opened up, causing her to pause in her steps. It was more out of surprise than anything else at first but the man at the other side of the window with his bright blue eyes had also caught her attention.

With Harry busy, (Y/N) made her way to the small window, “...May I help you?”

The man’s eyes flickered up to her and he seemed speechless for a moment before he orders, “Two bottles of dark rum and four glasses”

(Y/N) nods and turns around only to smack straight into Harry’s chest.

“I’ll get that for you, Tommy. (Y/N) there are some people down at the end who want some ale”

(Y/N) looks up at Harry, confused on why he suddenly butt in and took over the order but just as she was going to silently nod and do as she was told but ‘Tommy’, spoke up before she could.

“Let her do it, Harry. She looks perfectly capable” 

Harry looked like he would argue, but he quickly nodded and allowed (Y/N) to get the drinks but he quickly followed behind her. 

“Anything that he or the other members of the Shelby family is free of charge.”

(Y/N) frowned and turned to ask him why but he had already disappeared to fulfil the orders of the other patrons. 

She picked up the two bottles of rum and placed them by the window before she went off to collect the glasses. 

“Harry says everything is on the house,” She says as he places the glasses down next to the bottles of rum, hoping that he could explain why.

“Hmm,” The man simply hummed as he picked up the drinks and placed them on the table in the snug behind him.

He turned around but stopped midway before he turned back to face her, looking at her up and down. “You’re not from around here”

“What gave it away?” (Y/N) responded sarcastically, knowing that her accent stood out.

“What’s your name?” Tommy’s interest had been piqued and he leant forward on the bartop

“What’s yours?” (YN) threw back.

Tommy squinted his eyes and (Y/N) raised an eyebrow. She had been raised amongst egotistical and big-headed men and she knew how to deal with them.

“Tommy Shelby” 

“(Y/N)”

“I’ll see you again, (Y/N)”

“I’ll make sure of it, Mr Shelby”

Tommy gave her one last nod before he disappeared into the snug and closed the window doors behind him.

(Y/N) was swept up with the rest of the customers the rest of the night and only got a break when they had closed up for the night and she was cleaning up. 

“Listen, (Y/N), it’s best if you try to keep away from the Shelby’s.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just promise me that you’ll stay away from them?”

“Only if I have the job”

Harry was silent for a moment before he sighed and nodded “Alright, you have the job. You did good tonight anyway.”

“Thank you, Harry”

(Y/N) had spent the rest of the night looking at places to rent in the newspaper, marking down which one suited her needs, making notes to call the landlords in the morning. With a secure job, she could now start to settle down in Small Heath.

.•° ✿ °•.

(Y/N) found a small flat that was perfect for her, she had paid a deposit and the first month of rent before moving herself and her singular suitcase into her new place. It was the opposite of what she grew up with but she found that it didn’t affect her as much as she thought it would. Her old bedroom was at least four times as big as her dingy little flat but she found the little room appropriate enough and she was determined to perservere and not give up. 

Once she had finished settling in, she took another walk around Small Heath before she had to go in to work that evening.

She had found herself by the cut and she stood right by the edge with the tips of her shoes just over the edge as she thought about her life. She knew it wouldn’t be long before her family somehow narrow where she had run off too, no doubt they had already sent men to America, Australia and England already but she hoped that Small Heath was a small enough place that she’d have at least a few years before she had to move on.

“Hullo”

(Y/N) swung around, not hearing whoever it was come up behind her but her momentum had caused her to trip over her feet and fall backwards, falling into the canal with a loud splash. Her thick coat and her shoes had weighed her down as she struggled to resurface. 

Tommy raced over to the edge and kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his coat and cap before he dived in after her. He swam down until he could see her and reached out and grabbed her arm before he started to swim to the surface, pulling her along.

When they both reached the surface, they gasped for air and (Y/N) coughed and sputtered out the water that she had accidentally swallowed. Tommy swam to edge, still tugging her along before he pulled himself out of the water before helping her out.

(Y/N) coughed a few more times before falling back so that she was flat on her back as she stared up at the sky. 

Tommy walked over to her and looked down at her, “You alright?”

(Y/N) glared at him as she took his offered hand and stood up, “Do you creep up behind every woman you know?”

“Only the ones that fascinate me”

His words caused (Y/N)’s glare to falter, “I suppose I should feel flattered then ?”

Tommy ignored her question as he turned on his heel and began to walk away before he called out to her over his shoulder, “C’mon, follow me”

(Y/N) grimaced as she moved to follow after him, her stocking covered feet squelched in her heels as she walked behind him. The rest of her clothes clung to her uncomfortably and her hair stuck to her face and neck. 

She didn’t know where Tommy was going and she didn’t exactly know why she was following him either but she supposed he fascinated her as she did him.

He took her to Watery Lane and into one of the houses, and she still squeaked uncomfortably behind him as she followed him into the kitchen. 

“Sit”

Tommy pointed to a random seat before he shuffled around the kitchen putting a full kettle on the stovetop and letting it boil while (Y/N) sat down as he instructed. 

(Y/N) looked at the kitchen around her in curiosity. The walls had been knocked down to let it be more open and just to the side of her there was a large green double door which she guessed led to the property next door but she had no clue why. She could hear the faint sounds of people talking through it but it was too muffled to hear anything clearly.

Just as she snapped out of her mind, Tommy had placed a cup down in front of her.

(Y/N) looked down at the cup in curiosity, “What’s this?”

Tommy sat down on the other side of the table, across from her with his own cup.

“Tea. To warm you up”

“What type of ‘tea’?” (Y/N) asked, “Anyway, I think getting out of my wet clothes will help more than a cup of hot..tea”

“Tea, tea. Have you never seen tea before?”

“I have never heard the word tea before. In my native language, we call this something else.” (Y/N) carelessly reveals, “Are you meant to drink it straight”

Tommy files away her first sentence away in his mind, making a mental note to find out where she was from before he leant across the table and pulled the teacup closer to him.

“You can if you want. Most add milk and sugar”

“How much-” (Y/N) asked, “How do you do yours?”

“Splash of milk, two teaspoons of sugar”

(Y/N) nods, “Okay, I’ll try it the way you like.”

Tommy nodded and did the tea for her. Never at all did he think that he would be making a cup of tea for a woman the second time he had ever met her but he supposed he did feel a little guilty for her falling into the cut and almost drowning.

(Y/N) took a sip and let a pleased hum, “This is...nice.”

“You like it?”

“Yes, I enjoy your...tea”

Tommy’s lip quirked at her words but the smile that nearly graces his lips quickly vanishes when Polly walks through the green doors, 

“Thomas, have you-oh” Polly freezes in her steps at the sight of the stranger sitting at the table.

“Polly,” Tommy cleared his throat as he stood up, “This is (Y/N), the new barmaid at the Garrison”

(Y/N) stood up and shook the hand of Polly and tried not the feel exposed as the woman raked her eyes across her.

“Why are the two of you wet?”

“I fell into the cut and Tommy helped me” (Y/N) quickly spoke before Tommy could speak.

Polly looked at Tommy as if she couldn’t believe what (Y/N) was saying was true. (Y/N) finished off her cup of tea before he cleared her throat, catching their attention, “Thank you for the tea, Tommy but it’s probably best I get home. Staying in wet clothes will only make me sick”

Tommy nodded and seemed perfectly fine with just walking her to the door but Polly spoke up for him, “Tommy walk her home”

(Y/N) opened her mouth to argue but the look Tommy sent her told her that it was better to not argue. 

They walked back to her flat in silence and it made (Y/N) realise how weird her day was. In what was meant to be a normal day exploring, ended up with her almost dying and then being treated with a cup of tea by a man whose mere presence prompted question marks. 

 .•° ✿ °•.

That evening (Y/N) was back at the Garrison, pulling pints and serving customers. It was never not busy and (Y/N) wondered how she didn’t end up with a headache every night but she enjoyed the work.  

When the pub quietened suddenly, it caused (Y/N) to look up from her work and she saw Tommy, Polly along with three other men who she had never seen before entering. Polly and the men entered the little snug whilst Tommy made his way up to the bar and with Harry overwhelmed, (Y/N) made her way over to him after she finished with her current customer.

“How may I help you, Mr Shelby?” She asked as she wiped her hands on her apron.

“Bucket of mild and four mugs and one whiskey”

(Y/N) nodded and went to go fulfil his order when Harry called out to her, 

“We’re out of the mild! I’m gonna go get a new barrel.”

(Y/N) turned around and gave Tommy a sorry smile, “I’ll bring it to you when Harry’s done”

Tommy gave her a nod before he disappeared in the snug. (Y/N) watched him for a moment before she turned to the next patron with a kind smile.

.•° ✿ °•.

Tommy joined his family in the snug and sat in his usual seat, paying half attention to the conversation around until it suddenly turned to him.

“Oi, Tom, who’s the new barmaid?” John asked, “And where are our fucking drinks?”

“A new hire by Harry” Tommy said as he lit up a cigarette, “Needed a new barrel, it’ll be here soon.”

Just then (Y/N) walked into the snug, bucket and mugs in hand.

“Sorry for the wait,” She said as she placed them on the table and quickly disappeared back out of the snug.

Once she left, John and Arthur let out low whistles.

“She’s a looker ain’t she” John commented

Polly rolled her eyes at her nephew’s behaviour while Michael noticed something else about the woman.

“Where is she from? Her accent is not from England”

Tommy shrugged, “Haven’t a clue”

Polly raised an eyebrow, “You don’t know? Usually, you’d know everything about her, especially since she works at the pub”

Tommy ignored her for a moment as he began to scoop up a mug of ale, his brothers following suit before he answered her.

“There’s something she’s hiding and I don’t think any call I make will clue me into it”

.•° ✿ °•.

That night as (Y/N) and Harry closed up, (Y/N) finally asked Harry about something that had been itching her about Tommy Shelby.

“Harry, when you warned me about Mr Shelby, what did you mean? What do the Shelby’s do?”

Harry sighed as he dropped his rag down on the bar, “They’re bad men. They’re a gang, they fix races, kill people, blackmail, threaten, you know all of it. If they want it, they get it.”

(Y/N) settled in silence at his words, her mind racing. Did she just escape from the gang at home just to run into a new gang? Was her luck that shitty?

She remained silent for the rest of the night but vowed that she’d try her best to avoid Tommy Shelby.

.•° ✿ °•.

Avoiding Tommy was easier said than done, he was somehow everywhere yet at the same time it was like he was a ghost. Whenever she saw him on the streets of Small Heath, she ducked into the many side streets and alleyways of the town. Whenever he entered the Garrison, she took his order swiftly and avoided eye contact.

Tommy had noticed her behaviour. 

A few weeks later he found her once again by the cut but this time she was sitting on the edge with her feet hanging over the edge. Tommy walked over to her but didn’t sit down next to her.

“You’ve been hiding from me”

(Y/N) didn’t even look up at him when she replied, “Have I? It seems that you’ve found me”

“Why?”

“Why do you care?”

Tommy hummed, “I suppose I don’t. Not really.”

“But you do though, don’t you? You care”

“I do” 

“Why?”

“You fascinate me.”

“...I’ve heard about the things you do Tommy.” (Y/N) decided to tell him why she had been avoiding him. 

“Yeah?” Tommy asked as he took a seat next to her, knowing that this wasn’t going to be a short conversation.

“I do...I do not understand why” 

“Growing up around here you have to know how to fight otherwise you won't survive. You have to adapt and grow. Fixing races or scamming the rich to get some money was the only way that we were able to feed our family at times.” Tommy offered her a cigarette which she accepted. “After the war, whilst we were at war, fighting for our lives and country, the men at the top simply sat at home and continued getting richer.”

(Y/N) had a frown on her face as she took a couple of drags of her cigarette, “But you murder people?”

“I’ve killed a few people”

“And that doesn’t affect you?”

“In the war, I killed about a hundred men who were just following orders like me. I used to beat myself up about taking a life but now, killing the people who profited off the war in some fashion barely gets me to blink”

“...So you only target the rich?”

Tommy nods, “You ask anyone and they’d probably say that we’re a pain in the arse but we’re their pain in the arse. We pump the money back through the town, making sure everyone has jobs and that they can support their families”

(Y/N)’s heart eased at his clarification. 

“My fa-” (Y/N) cut herself off realising that she was about to spill too much information about herself, “Back home, the gangs there targeted everybody. The poorer people suffered the most since they couldn’t pay ransoms or blackmail...every week a body would be discovered. Politicians and the most powerful men in the country were being controlled by these gangs, being played like marionettes. Not to mention the constant wars between rival gangs…”

(Y/N) hadn’t spoken about how life was back home and it felt good to finally speak to someone about it. She knew she had it good considering she rarely left the family manor and had anything and everything she could have asked for and nothing that her family did had negatively affected her in any way.

“Is that why you left your country?”

(Y/N) nodded, “I was scared that I left one gang and fell into the grasp of another”

Tommy took one last drag of his cigarette before he chucked it in the cut and (Y/N) followed suit. 

Tommy took her chin in his hands and pulled her face so that she was facing him, “You won’t be hurt here. You’re safe”

(Y/N)’s placed her hand over his that was still on her face but she didn’t try to remove it, “I’m am not safe, they will find me”

“Who will?”

(Y/N) gave him a soft smile as she finally pulled his hand away, “Never you mind. I’ve already said too much”

(Y/N) stood up and brushed off the dust and dirt from her before she offered him her hand, “Walk me to work?”

Tommy grabbed her hand and pulled himself up, “Of course”

The walk back was silent but (Y/N) felt at ease now that she knew the truth behind Tommy and the gang’s motives.

.•° ✿ °•.

(Y/N) no longer hid whenever she saw Tommy in the streets but instead gave him smiles. He wouldn’t always return them but (Y/N) felt a warmth bloom in her chest whenever he gave her a nod or a tiny smile in answer.

One day, in the early afternoon, Tommy and his brother, Arthur had entered the Garrison, so she went over to take their order.

“What can I get you two?”

“Go get Harry for us” 

(Y/N) got Harry and moved further down the bar but still close enough to listen to their conversation.

“What can I get you, boys?”

“Harry,” Tommy gave him a smile that wasn’t sincere in the slightest, “We want to buy your pub”

(Y/N)’s mouth dropped and so did Harry’s.

“Uhhh, it’s not for sale I’m afraid”

“It wasn’t a request, Harry.”

Harry instantly deflated as he knew he couldn’t exactly say no to the Peaky Blinders unless he wanted his eyes cut.

“Alri-”

“You can’t just do that!” (Y/N) stepped in, throwing Tommy a glare, “Harry said it wasn’t for sale, that’s your answer and you should accept it”

“Harry was just about to agree-”

“Through coercion” Once again, (Y/N) cut in.

Harry’s eyes were wide as he tugged on (Y/N)’s arm, telling her to stop but she didn’t listen.

“I didn’t make any threats. Did you hear me make a threat, Arthur?”

“Nah, I didn’t hear you make any threats brother” Arthur backed his brother up

“The implication was there. ‘Do as I ask or get your eyes cut’.” 

Harry pulled on her arm again but (Y/N) shrugged him off.

Tommy sighed, he patience wearing thin, “Listen, we’re just offering a considerable amount to buy the pub, nothing more”

“Since you have so much money, build a bloody pub yourselves, or better yet shove it up your-”

Harry finally pulled her hard enough that she had to move unless she wanted to fall flat on her face,

“(Y/N) go in the back. I’ll deal with it.” Harry pushed her away, “Go”

(Y/N) threw one last glare over her shoulder before she disappeared in the back. She paced around in Harry’s office waiting for him, she knew that he’d more than likely accept the Shelby’s offer but a part of her hoped that he didn’t.

When he returned there was a roll of money in his hand which caused (Y/N) to release a frustrated sigh. 

“I don’t want to end up in the cut” Harry tried to explain

“I know, I know. I’m not blaming you, I’m just annoyed at those Shelby men.”

“Listen, I know your stubborn but don’t go creating fights with those men”

“I can’t promise you anything” (Y/N) walked towards the exit, “I’ll go back to the bar”

(Y/N) was in such a bad mood for the rest of the day that the patrons simply made an order and then quickly scurry off once they got their drink, not wanting to be on the receiving end of her if they’d pushed her.

She was still in a mood once she had finished for the day and stormed home but once she collapsed on her bed, she felt a bit of tension drain out of her shoulders.

Despite how much she wanted to stay in bed, she knew couldn’t do it with the day's clothing still on her. She kicked her shoes off in the corner of her flat and chucked her coat on the small couch before pouring herself a glass of whiskey. 

She sipped on the whiskey as she wiped down her face with a damp cloth and changed into her nightdress before taking a seat near the window with the rest of her drink, the bottle next to her on the side table. Usually, she read a bit before she slept but it was raining that night and the sound of it hitting the window always calmed her, so she simply looked out of the window, watching the last few stragglers of Small Heath wander through the streets.

She had been at peace before loud knocking disrupted her and she huffed as she made her way over to her door, only opening it enough to fit her head through. 

“What do you want?” Tommy was on the other side.

“I’m here to talk”

“It’s late. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“I want to talk now” Tommy pushed the door open and forced himself into her flat.

“Thomas! You can’t just force yourself into my flat” (Y/N) hissed at him as she closed the door behind him knowing she wouldn’t be able to physically remove him at this point. 

Tommy looked around the flat checking it out as she took off his coat and hat, throwing next to where (Y/N) left hers.

“Nice little place you got here”

“Why are you really here Tommy?”

Tommy turned around and raised an eyebrow when he saw what she was wearing causing (Y/N) to wrap her arms around her chest as she hurried to her dressing gown and putting it on. 

“What do you want?” (Y/N) repeated herself, “If this is about earlier, then I refuse to speak about it”

“It is about today and you will speak about it”

“Well if you truly want to speak then let it be known that, I will not sit around and let you bully people into doing what you want”

“That’s how it works around here”

“That’s how you force it to work around here. People would rather say yes than end up blind or floating in the cut” (Y/N) corrected him.

She took a deep breath before she topped off her drink and offered him one, “Whiskey?”

“Please”

She gave him a glass before shifting the coats that rested on the couch onto the coat rack and then taking a seat on the now free couch and Tommy soon joined her.

“You say you’re not like the people back home but your actions today say different” (Y/N) took a sip of her drink, “You keep going down this lane and you’ll be like my….”

Tommy turned to her, “Like your who?”

“Never mind.” (Y/N) shook her head, “You’ve never been told ‘no’ in your life have you?”

“I have. Polly tells me about five times every day”

“I don’t mean by your family. You’ve never been told by a woman or by anyone in Small Heath like Harry, have you?”

Tommy shrugged his shoulders, “No, I don’t think so”

“Luckily for you, I’m here to humble you”

“Luckily?”

“Luckily.”

Tommy placed his hand on her thigh which caused her to raise an eyebrow at him but she didn’t say nor do anything.

“I know nothing about you,” Tommy told her

“I could say the same thing about you”

“You know things about me. You know my family and my past.”

(Y/N) snorted, “That’s a bit of a stretch. I know that you fought in the war, that’s it”

“That’s more than I know about you.”

“Okay” (Y/N) holds up two fingers, “You get to know one thing about my past and one about my family”

Tommy sipped his drink as he thought about which questions he would ask her.

“How many siblings do you have?”

“Four older brothers”

“You’re alike our Ada”

(Y/N) had never met the Shelby lady but judging by the little bits she heard from the brothers, it seemed like she, other than their aunt, was one of the only people who could tell Tommy to ‘shut up’ or ‘fuck off’ without consequence.

“In more ways than you may realise”

“Where are you from?”

“Ah!” (Y/N) held up her hand, “I won’t answer that”

“Why not?” Tommy fiddled with the edge of her dressing gown, his hand shifting higher up her thigh

“Because I said so, now, new question”

“How was your life back home?”

“Easy. I never had to worry about if there would be food on the table at the end of the day but I was restricted.”

“How?”

“I was not allowed to leave my house nor have friends, my life was lonely.”

“Was you sick as a child?”

“No. I was a vulnerability” (Y/N) downed the rest of her drink before turning to Tommy, “I’ve said too much. That was more than one thing you pulled from me”

“I’ll make it up”

“I hope so” 

(Y/N) bit her lip as she thought something through as the flat dissolved into silence.

“Are you going to sleep with me or are you going to continue to play with my dressing gown?”

“Are you going to say no?”

“I won’t be tonight”

“Good”

With that, Tommy swooped down and pulled her into a kiss, one that she eagerly returned. They kissed until they pulled apart needing air and Tommy pulled her onto his lap, 

“You sure?”

“Yes”

(Y/N) pulled him into another kiss as Tommy lifted her into his arms as he pushed himself onto his feet and made his way over to her bed where he promptly dropped her though he quickly followed suit. 

.•° ✿ °•.

(Y/N) mindlessly trailed her fingers across Tommy’s ribs as they laid together underneath her blanket. Tommy was sat up against the headboard as he smoked a cigarette while (Y/N) was curled into his side. 

“Next week, I’ll take you down to London,” Tommy announced, breaking the silence.

(Y/N) snorted, “Are you asking me out on a date?”

“I don’t do dates.”

“Hmm, I suppose you don’t have to wine and dine them. Somehow your charm does the work”

“‘Somehow’?”

“You’re a miserable bastard Tommy” (Y/N) looked up at him and gave him a smirk

“Next week then?” Tommy ignored her jab

“Yeah, I’ll talk to Harry and get a day off”

“You don’t have to ask Harry. We own the bloody pub, take as many days off you want”

“You may own it but I do not work for you, I work for Harry” (Y/N) looked up and glared at Tommy, before rolling to the other side of the bed and wrapping the blankets around her shoulder, “Anyway, I’m going to sleep now. Stay or leave, I don’t mind.”

Not realising how tired she was, (Y/N) almost immediately fell asleep and Tommy stared at her sleep form. 

He was enamoured with her, her mysterious life aside, he looked forward to every time they would meet and he enjoyed her fiery attitude towards him but he was confused as to what he wanted their relationship to be like. He didn’t date but he wanted something more than a purely sexual dynamic but he didn’t know what she wanted either. He could speak to her but that was outside of his comfort zone.

Tommy did not leave but he did not sleep, he continued to sit and smoke through the rest of his pack as he watched the sky turn light and the sun rose before he finally left. 

.•° ✿ °•.

The next week, Tommy had picked (Y/N) up and together they drove down to London. She had dressed up a bit but nothing in something that would be overdoing it but she had noticed Tommy run his eyes over her appreciatively, something that she enjoyed.

“You know, I’ve never been to London” (Y/N) said as she watched the scenery go.

“Never?”

“No. When I arrived in the country, I came straight to Birmingham on a train and that was that”

“Well, I hope you enjoy it”

(Y/N) smiled at him, “Me too”

(Y/N) filled the rest of the journey with questions, not just about London but about Birmingham and Small Heath as well.

When they arrived in London, (Y/N) got swept up in all of it. She enjoyed the bright lights and people filled the street. It was unlike anything she’s ever experienced and she loved it.

Tommy took her to go see a play, and as she watched the actors perform, (Y/N) thought she should make a list of things that Tommy was introducing her to because she was quickly running out of fingers to count on. 

After dinner, Tommy took her to a bridge that crossed the River Thames and they talked as they looked over the barrier, like they did by the cut in Small Heath. 

“Tonight was great, thank you, Tommy”

Tommy took a step closer to her and took her hand in his, “Look, I don’t know what the future entails or what I exactly want between us but I do want you next to me”

“I’ve never heard of that position before” (Y/N) curled her fingers around his, “I’m not your partner, your fiance, your wife but…”

“You are my person”

“...Your person”

As Tommy leant forward to kiss her, (Y/N) suddenly snapped back, her head swivelling around. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

(Y/N) threw one last look over her shoulder before turning to him with a smile that he was starting to recognise as one she used as a distraction and a cover-up. It worked on him before and he has seen it being used against various members of Small Heath, who, once seeing that smile, had followed her conversation change though (Y/N) also had no problem using her sharp tongue if anyone crossed any lines. 

.•° ✿ °•.

Just as Tommy leant down towards her, (Y/N) heard people speaking the language of her home country causing her to pull away from him. She strained to hear what was being said but the voices were quickly drowned by the chatter of over people on the bridge along with the cars that sped around them.

She looked around trying to see if she recognised anyone but yet again, the bridge was so busy, it was impossible for her. (Y/N) mentally cursed at herself, she was foolish to let her barriers remain down whilst they were in London, as it was more likely her father had men there and if she had been spotted, she wouldn’t know until it was too late. 

When Tommy called for her attention she turned to him with a smile after one last look over her shoulder. While she couldn’t see anyone, she would be on edge for a while.

“So, did you book a hotel room or are we driving back tonight?”

Tommy stood back and offered her his arm, “To the hotel it is”

.•° ✿ °•.

A month after the trip to London, (Y/N) and Tommy were going steady, if that was an appropriate word for their dynamic. They saw each other on a regular business but he hadn’t taken her on a date anywhere as extravagant as the one to London but (Y/N) enjoyed the nights in her flat where they would just drink and talk.

She was less on edge now she was back in Small Heath and nothing had happened to her but she remained vigilant but her new life relatively undisturbed changed that evening.

She had been working at the pub as usual when she felt eyes on her, it was unusual that when a patron got drunk that they would stare at her but they would usually look away once a prostitute or a friend got their attention but this man was different. 

She took quick glances at him as she worked and not once did this man's gaze falter, he had been nursing the same drink he had first ordered and his eyes were clear of any drunkness. (Y/N) knew something was up with him.

Not wanting to be defenceless, (Y/N) went out to the back of the pub and picked up one of the loose bricks that were laying around and put it in her handbag before she returned to the bar, hoping that the man assumed she only took a toilet break. 

Once her shift ended, (Y/N) left Harry to close up and started her way home. The man had left with the other patrons when the pub was closed but (Y/N) knew the man was waiting in the shadows for her.

As she walked back to her flat, she heard his footsteps behind her and her heart raced. If her plan went wrong then she would either be brought back home or dead and out of two, she preferred death.

She sped up and turned into the upcoming alleyway as she took her handbag off of her shoulders and grasped it tightly in her hands and when the man turned into the alleyway, she swung her bag at his head and watched as it successfully connected, causing the man to collapse at her feet. 

She paused waiting to see if he stirred but the man was knocked out. (Y/N) dropped to her knees before she searched the body, looking for a gun or any sort of weapon but when she heard hurried footsteps heading her way she froze before she pulled the brick out of her purse and held it aloft, ready to throw it whoever to turned the corner, fearing that the man had an accomplice that she didn’t see.

.•° ✿ °•.

On his way home from his office, Tommy had spotted (Y/N) on her way home from work but just as he was about to call her name and get her attention, he noticed the man following her. 

He snapped his mouth shut but silently followed after the man but when he and (Y/N) disappeared in an alleyway, he ran after them, pulling his gun out of his holster as he did so. 

He rounded into the alleyway, gun drawn and ready to shoot but froze at the scene he ran into. The man who had been following (Y/N) was unconscious on the floor and (Y/N) was crouched over him, brick in hand ready to throw.

Tommy let his arm drop to his side, “What the fuck is going on?”

(Y/N) who sighed in relief at the sight of him, threw the brick to the side and continued to search through his pockets like she was doing before Tommy interrupted.

 “You have a place where we can drag him, yes?” (Y/N) asked as he pulled out a gun from one of his pockets

“(Y/N)! What the fuck is happening?”

“Yes or no, Thomas!” (Y/N) snapped, “I will tell you but only if you fucking help me”

Tommy tucked his gun back in his holster before he made his way over to the man and hooked his arms underneath his armpits and began dragging him towards one of the many empty buildings in Small Heath.

“Follow me”

(Y/N) quickly snatched up her purse and followed after him but she was constantly checking over her shoulder to see if anyone was following them but once they arrived at the building, most of the tension dropped out of her shoulders.

Once Tommy dropped the man in the middle of the room he turned on his heel and pointed a finger at her, “Right, tell me what the fuck is happening.”

(Y/N) tugged off her scarf and went over to the man and began tying his ankles together,

“You know I haven’t told you anything about my past” (Y/N) grunted as she pulled the knots tight, “Give me your tie”

“You’ve told me a little,” Tommy said as he tugged off his tie before he gave it to her.

As (Y/N) began tying his wrists together, she began to tell Tommy about her life.

“What I told about how gangs run the country wasn’t a lie. Life there is hell for the common people, death is better than living there. But…”

“You left out something…”

(Y/N) sighed as she turned to Tommy, “My family is the biggest criminal organisation in the country. They have politicians and royalty in their pockets. Honestly? It makes your little gang here seem like a joke in comparison”

“...So you ran away from home?”

(Y/N) glared at him, “It was not that simple.”

“Then explain it to me then”

(Y/N) made her way over to him and took a seat on the floor, “I couldn’t get anyone to help me because if we got caught they’d be killed and I couldn’t have that on my conscience. Also, they’re a liability. I had to steal some money and other items from my family so that I could sell them and I had only planned as far as getting out of my country. Everything after that was a spur of the moment decision.”

“Your life was good, why run?”

“It wasn’t ‘good’, it was easy. Besides I was the only daughter and my father would sell me to the highest bidder or to whoever he had been beefing with as a gift”

“Your brothers have no issue with that?”

“They’re men, so they’re more valuable” (Y/N) rolled her eyes and put quotation marks around the word valuable, “They’re all just like my father.”

“Your mother”

“A weak woman. Sold to my dad like how my dad would sell me off. Are you going to ask me about my uncles next?”

This time Tommy rolled his eyes but he took a seat next to her, “So, who is this man?”

“No clue” (Y/N) shrugged, “I’m guessing one of my father’s men or you know, one of the men of my father’s men”

“What do you plan on doing with him?” Tommy asked as he pulled out a couple of cigarettes and lit them, giving on to (Y/N), which she gratefully accepted.

“It depends on what information he knows and what he has shared, but I’ll probably have to kill him”

“Have you ever killed someone before?”

“Nope” (Y/N) sent Tommy a grin, “But you have”

.•° ✿ °•.

The man awoke with a sputtered cough before squirmed on the floor, trying to get up until he realised he had been tied up. He rolled on to his back and craned his head so that he was looking at Tommy and (Y/N)

“Release me!”

(Y/N) stood up and crushed her cigarette underneath her shoe before walking over to the man and stood over him.

“I have questions first”

“Fuck you!” The man cursed the language of (Y/N)’s home country.

“Ah!” (Y/N) grinned, “You speak the language, so I’m guessing my father sent you”

“I’m not the only one he sent” The man spat, “There’s about a hundred in England looking for you. Hundred in America and Australia too. No matter where you go, we’ll find you”

“Of course. I know that but I’m not particularly concerned about that, I’m more curious about you.”

“Me?”

(Y/N) nods, “You.”

Tommy watched the interaction with interest. He had no clue what they were saying but he assumed that (Y/N) was pressing the man for information and truthfully speaking, he found it kind of hot. 

“It was my father who sent you, correct?”

The man nodded, “Whoever finds you and brings you back gets a seat on his council and your hand in marriage”

(Y/N) scoffed and rolled her eyes and then turned to Tommy, “My father is offering a seat on his council and my hand in marriage to whoever finds me and brings me to him. Interested?”

Tommy snorted, “Does the marriage come with a nice house in your country?”

“Hmm, I’d have to ask”

“Does the marriage come with a nice house?”

This time the man actually spat at her causing her to flinch back and wiped her face with her sleeve with a grimace.

“Okay, enough joking around. How did you find me?”

“London! A bunch of us were stationed there but I’m the only one who spotted you” The man had switched to English.

“Did you tell anyone that you were coming here to get me?”

“No. If I did, I would already be dead.” The man shook his head, “You don’t get a joint prize if you join up with someone.”

“So no one knows you’re here?”

“No”

“...Good”

(Y/N) turned away from the man and walked back to Tommy, “I need a favour”

Tommy raised a knowing brow, “What do I get in return?”

“My undying gratitude?”

“Okay,” Tommy nods, “What’s your plan?”

“Luckily, he hasn’t told anyone about Small Heath but if we let him go, he could tell anyone.”

“So we kill him.”

“...We do”

The man started to scream in protest at their words, moving about erratically, trying his hardest to escape from his restraints. 

“Shut up!” (Y/N) shouted at the man

“I’ll get Uncle Charlie to sail down to London and dump his body there, we don't need any unnecessary attention.”

“Your Uncle Charlie would be okay with that?” (Y/N) found that hard to believe.

“No, but he’ll do it anyway.”

“So,” (Y/N) sighed, “How do we get him you wherever your Uncle Charlie is?”

“Knock him out I suppose”

“...I left my brick in the alleyway”

That caused Tommy to snigger. Their current situation wasn’t a laughable one but somehow (Y/N) had managed to make him laugh. He pushed himself up to his feet and pulled his gun out from his holster and made his way over to the frantic man. 

He climbed on to the man, legs on either side of his body and then gripped the gun by its barrel before he raised his hand up and struck down with strength, hitting the man with the butt of his gun and rendering him unconscious.

The man became limp and Tommy climbed off and tucked his gun away, “That should do it”

“Alright”

Tommy hooked his arms underneath the man’s like before and started to drag him out of the building with (Y/N) leading the way to Charlie’s yard. Once they arrived, Tommy dragged the man to the edge of the dock.

“Charlie!” Tommy shouted into the night, “Uncle Charlie!”

Moments later an older man hobbled out into the yard, “Jesus Christ, Tom. The sun hasn’t even fully risen yet”

Realising how much time had passed, (Y/N) looked up at the sky and saw the sun just starting to rise and suddenly, all at once, a wave of tiredness waved over her and she was exhausted.

“I need a favour” 

“What now?” Charlie grumbled

“I need him dumped in London.” Tommy kicked at the man at his feet

Charlie looked down at the body with what could almost be described as negative interest, “He’s dead then is he?”

“Just knocked out.”

“I’m not going to kill him” Charlie protested, “It’ll take four days to get London anyhow and I won’t have a dead rotting body as I go down”

Tommy was silent as he thought about what to do, 

“I’ll go down but I’ll take Curly.”

Charlie nodded, “Alright, I’ll go get him.”

When he left, (Y/N) tugged Tommy to the side and placed her hands on his chest, looking up at him, “You don’t have to do this you know? This is too much for me to ask”

“Hey” Tommy took her chin in his fingers, “Don’t worry, I want to do this.”

“...Thank you” (Y/N) gripped his coat, “Come back to me”

Tommy pressed a soft kiss to her lips, “I will”

.•° ✿ °•.

(Y/N) was on edge for the rest of the week, constantly looking over her shoulder for any suspicious men along with walking around Tommy’s office and Watery Lane for any sight of the man but she didn’t see the man until just over a week since the last time she saw him.

It was late at night when she heard a knock on the door and she scrambled to open it, knowing that it could only possibly be Tommy.

When she opened the door, she threw herself into his arms, arms tight around his neck, “You’re okay”

“Did you think I died?”

“Something like that, now come in”

As Tommy settled himself on her couch, (Y/N) makes them with a drink before she joined him, 

“How did everything go?”

“Quick, easy, no need for concern”

“H-How did you do it?”

“Stuffed him full of alcohol and then pushed him overboard” Tommy filled her in

“Smart, if they find him then they’ll just assume he drunk too much and accidentally fell off a bridge or something”

“...Are you safe now?”

(Y/N) gave him a small smile, “For now. They’ll realise he’s been missing or dead soon enough and there still will be a group of people after me but for now, I am safe.”

Tommy’s hand slipped into hers, “I’ll protect you”

“You don’t need to”

“I want to” 

.•° ✿ °•.

Months passed without any sort of drama from her end though the same could not be said for Tommy. He had been getting involved in all sorts of business and trouble, something that his Aunt Polly deeply disapproved with but Tommy did what Tommy did, which was whatever he wanted.

That morning, Tommy had gone to the funeral of his brother-in-law along with the rest of his family, leaving (Y/N) alone in Small Heath for the day. Tasked with setting up the pub that morning, (Y/N) made her way to the pub but the sight of two women in black pushing baby prams had stopped her in her steps and she watched as they left them by the doors before running away.

Concerned, she made her way towards the prams but before she could get too close, she was thrown back by the blast of the explosion. Her body hit the cobblestone street with a harsh whack, leaving her dazed. 

Once the ringing in her ears had faded and she could open her eyes without immediately wanting to throw up, (Y/N) pushed herself up so that she was sitting up straight and watched as the Garrison burned and tears of heartbreak mixed with her tears of pain.

Soon the streets were filled with policemen and firefighters as they worked together to put out the fire and clear up the area and she watched them as she held a handkerchief that Moss gave her, to the cut on her cheek. Her heart hurt as she looked at what remained of the Garrison, the pub had meant a lot to her and seeing it being reduced to nothing stung, (Y/N) returned back to her flat, unable to take anymore.

Not long after, two cars pulled up the Garrison and the Shelby’s spilt out, Tommy and Polly leading them.

“It happened at, uh, exactly 7 a.m. Only one person saw anything. Our patrols were not in the area.” Moss informed them.

“Who saw it?” Polly asked as she looked at the building.

Moss looked at his notepad, “One of the barmaids, (Y/N). She was also caught up in the blast”

Tommy spun on his heel at the mention of (Y/N)’s name and stalked over to Moss, “What happened to her?”

Moss looked over his shoulder, “She was over there but I guess she must have gone home”

Tommy strode away from the Garrison, ignoring the shouts from Polly as he made his way towards (Y/N)’s flat. He knocked on her door before he walked in, knowing that she rarely locks it during the day.

He found her wrapped in her blankets on her bed, staring mindlessly through her window. Tommy sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on her leg,

“You alright?”

(Y/N) let out a wet laugh, “Not really”

“Moss said you got hurt”

“Hmm, the blast flung me back but I’ll be fine. My body will ache and I’ll have a killer headache for a few days but I’ll be fine”

“Look at me”

(Y/N) turned to face him, slightly crawling out of her blanket cocoon and Tommy took her face in his hands, his thumb tracing just underneath her cut.

“What happened?”

“There were two women, in black and they were pushing prams and just left them by the door. I went over but they exploded before I could get too close”

“Did your upbringing not teach you to not go looking at things that are suspicious?” Tommy chided

“I thought there were actual kids in the prams and they had been abandoned”

Tommy didn’t say anything but a look of understanding overcame his face, “I guess that makes sense”

“Not one thing made sense about this place since I arrived. Not one”

“I’ll give you that” Tommy agreed with her

“What’s your plan with the Garrison then?”

“Fix it up.” Tommy sighed as he stood up, knowing that he couldn’t stay with her for any longer “I’ll give you some money until you’re able to get back to work”

(Y/N) smiled at him, “Thank you. You going?”

Tommy nodded at her, “Got business.”

He gave her a kiss on the cheek before he left and it wasn’t until he was halfway to his location, did he realise that he’s never done something like that before.

 .•° ✿ °•.

The reopening night of the Garrison was a big one and when stepped through the doors, she noted the stark differences with a frown tugging at her lips. The walls were gold and the curtains were red, the chandeliers were grand but it wasn’t the Garrison.

She gave pleasant smiles to those she came across as she made her way towards the back of the bar, the place where she felt the most comfortable. Arthur was also there and she could tell he was on something due to his erratic behaviour but she didn’t mention it to him, only giving him a wave as she wrapped the apron around her waist.

She was quickly swept up with taking orders and making drinks that she didn’t realise that Tommy had reached her until he placed his hand on her hip,

“What do you think aye?” He tried to speak over the loud music

(Y/N) stepped to the side to somewhere slightly quieter and pulled Tommy with her, “It’s certainly something”

Tommy frowned at her, “You don’t like it?”

(Y/N) sighed before she dragged Tommy to a room at the back so they could have complete privacy, “I don’t hate it and obviously I’m very happy to be back at work but the Garrison looks like it belongs in London rather than Small Heath”

“We’re moving up”

“You are but not everyone else in Small Heath is. Obviously, it’s too late to do anything about it now but in the future, remember you’re in Small Heath and not in London.”

Tommy moved so that there were only mere centimetres between them, “Sometimes, I forget who’s the one who grew up here and who’s the one who arrived a year ago between us”

(Y/N) grinned at him, “What can I say, the town of Small Heath is special to me”

“Want to get out of here?” Tommy asked with a raised brow

“I’m sure Arthur can handle the bar by himself” (Y/N) said as she reached for his hand, allowing him to pull her out of the pub.

.•° ✿ °•.

 It wasn’t until a month after the reopening of the pub did (Y/N) realise what her fooling around with Tommy had resulted in. After she had connected the dots herself, she had made her way to Watery Lane to find the person who could confirm it for her along with giving her some solid advice. 

She made her way into the house of Watery Lane first rather than entering the betting den, hoping that Polly was there instead of her office. 

Tommy had told her about the betting den and his illegal business not long after the incident with the man who had followed her and she did not judge, as it would be hypocritical if she did but she understood the reasoning behind what he did for a living but she still hadn’t visited the actual den itself.

Luckily for her, Polly was in the kitchen of the house and (Y/N) slipped into the seat opposite her, 

“I need your...expertise” 

Polly put down her cup of tea and looked her up and down before she reached out and placed her hand on (Y/N)’s stomach before moving up to her breast, “You’re pregnant, I’d say two, maybe three months”

(Y/N) sunk back in her chair and released a huff, she didn’t know what to do.

“I’m guessing it’s Tommy's,” Polly said as she made them both a cup of tea.

“Who else's would it be?” (Y/N) scoffed.

“Do you want to keep it?” Polly asks as she sets down the two teacups on the table.

“Hmm, I think I do but I’ll have to talk to Tommy. If he doesn’t want anything to do with it, I’ll guess I’ll have to leave Small Heath,”

“Listen, I don’t know the in’s and out’s of whatever you have going on between you two but I do know my nephew. He cares about you deeply and he’s not the type of man to abandon his child.”

“Do you know where he is?”

“Last I heard, Charlie’s Yard”

(Y/N) stands up with a nod, “Alright, thank you”

As she made her way to Charlie’s Yard, (Y/N) thought of how she could tell Tommy the news. There was no point dragging it out and Tommy was someone who liked to get straight to the information but she was nervous either way. 

She pushed open the gates and made her way to where Charlie and Curly were, “Hello Charlie, Curly.”

Curly stuttered out a greeting and Charlie nodded at her.

“Is Tommy around? I’d heard he was here”

“You just missed him, he went to the Garrison” Charlie informed her.

(Y/N) nodded in thanks and quickly scurried away before she could hear the second sentence.

“But he’s with a woman…” Charlie finished as he watched (Y/N) run away.

(Y/N) hurried to the Garrison, annoyed that she had to run around Small Heath just to find one man and it didn’t help that the news she was carrying was heavy. Finally arriving, she called out his name as she pushed open the door,

“Tommy?! You better be here otherwise-oh” (Y/N) paused at the sight of Tommy with a woman at the bar.

“I thought you weren’t working today?”

“I’m not, I wanted to speak to you and was told I’d find you here but you’re obviously busy, so I’ll leave you alone” 

Tommy nodded in understanding and just as (Y/N) was turning to leave the other woman stood forward and offered her hand, 

“I’m May. May Carleton.”

(Y/N) glanced over to Tommy, taken off guard but he continued drinking his drink so (Y/N) shook May’s hand, “(Y/N). Nice to meet you”

“Just (Y/N)? No last name?”

“I don’t have one.” (Y/N) gave May one last polite smile before she left.

May stared after her for a few more moments before she turned to Tommy, “She’s not serious right? What is her last name?”

Tommy gave may a shrug, “If she has one, she hasn’t told me”

.•° ✿ °•.

“Right, what’s wrong?” Tommy asked as he stepped into her flat later that evening.

“Uhm okay, I’m just going to get it right out”

Tommy watched as she paced in front of him, whatever she had to tell him was clearly weighing heavily on her mind and he didn’t push her over getting it over and done with.

“Tommy,...I’m pregnant”

Tommy stared at her in shock. Out of all the things he guessed she would tell him, that wasn’t one of them.

“I know this isn’t what we planned or anything and I’ll completely understand if you don’t want anything to do with it but I want to keep it” (Y/N) rushed out in one breath.

“(Y/N), I don’t want you to get rid of it and I want to be involved” Tommy pulled (Y/N) into his embrace, “We’ll raise this child together. You and me.”

(Y/N) looked up at him with tears in her eyes, “Really?”

“Really. We’ll do it.”

(Y/N) wrapped her arms around Tommy tighters and cried into his shoulder and he let her, rubbing his hand up and down her back in hopes it comforted her.

“I was so scared”

“I know. It’s okay.”

They were wrapped up in each other’s embrace for a while before Tommy moved them over to the couch,

“Have you been to the doctor?” Tommy asked

“I went to Polly. Practically the same thing”

Tommy agreed, there were moments where he trusted Polly’s opinion and help over a doctors.

“What did she say?”

“Two months, maybe three”

“I know you went to Polly but I want you to go to the doctor, just to make sure”

(Y/N) nods in agreement, “I will.”

.•° ✿ °•.

One day, almost two months after (Y/N) found out she was pregnant, Tommy picked her up from her flat and took her for a drive. He wouldn’t tell her where they were going but he reassured her that she would like it.

Recently, they were at odds with each other with Tommy wanting (Y/N) to stop working entirely and (Y/N) being totally against it, so she assumed that perhaps he was trying to butter her up.

“You’re not trying to do something so that I’ll forgive you?” (Y/N) asked him.

“No, you can still be as mad as you want, I’m not going to stop you.”

“So the surprise had nothing to do with it?”

“Nope,” Tommy said as he pulled a tie out of his pocket and gave it to her, “Wrap it around your eyes”

(Y/N) did so without arguing and a minute later they pulled up to a stop and Tommy went over to the passenger side of the car to help her out. He kept his grip on her arm as he leads her forward before they stopped.

“You ready?”

(Y/N) nodded, “Yes”

“You can take off the tie”

(Y/N) gasped at what she stood in front of. It was a house, though that was being generous, it was massive and as (Y/N) looked around her in shock, she also realised that they were surrounded by copious amounts of land. 

“What’s this?” 

“This” Tommy walked towards her, “Is our house”

“Ours? All of it?”

Tommy grinned at her, “All it and all of this land as well. There’s also a stable round back”

“You had to make it worth your while as well, huh?” (Y/N) teased him

“Want to look inside?”

“Can we?”

Tommy offered his arm and (Y/N) took it and allowed him to lead her inside. 

The interior was just as grand as the exterior and (Y/N) had fallen love with the place, it was perfect for them, yet also brought back some memories. 

“You know, this reminds me of my house back home. It was bigger since it had to satisfy my father’s ego but it never felt like home, not like the way my flat does.”

“This will be different, this will be a home where our child will grow up and they won’t grow up as we did”

(Y/N) nodded reassured.

“I know you want to work for as long as you can and I know I can’t stop you but when you’re ready you can move in here”

(Y/N) was grateful that Tommy gave her space and he understood her because she knew she would go crazy just staying at the house and doing nothing whilst she was still pregnant. When the baby arrived, it would be a different story.

.•° ✿ °•.

When (Y/N) could no longer bend down to collect glasses due to her bump, she knew she had to throw in the towel and stop working. Harry had her working on the books for the most part while she occasionally did bar work but she had reached her limit with her feet swollen and her back constantly aching.

Truthfully the reason why she was having such a difficult time leaving her job was that she did not know when she would be able to return. She enjoyed working at the Garrison and interacting with the locals but once she had the child she would have to put that on pause as she raised her child. She could have a nanny but that was how she was raised and she did not like that. 

She made her into Tommy’s office, pausing by Lizzie’s desk to see if he was free before entering. He didn’t look up from his papers when she entered but he did give her a greeting which she returned as she took a seat.

“I’ve decided to hang up my apron” She announces to him.

This makes Tommy look up, “Yeah?”

“I can’t reach the glasses, my ankles are swollen and I have a constant need to go toilet” (Y/N) complained, “If I knew how terrorising pregnancy would be, I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant”

“Want me to call you a driver?”

“Please, I need a nap” Their bed was calling to (Y/N)

Tommy reached for the phone on his desk and called for a driver for her and as (Y/N) watched him, she realised how domesticated it was. Though in many ways, they were too, they lived together, shared a bed and (Y/N) was pregnant with their child but they weren’t in any sort of official relationship of any kind. She would have thought that Tommy would have suggested that they got married for the sake of the child but he hadn’t even brought it up. 

She had thought about talking to him about it but her fears quickly overtook her whenever she built up the courage and though it frustrated her, she had more important things to worry about.

.•° ✿ °•.

Childbirth was an experience unlike any other and (Y/N) had to wonder how her mother did it five times but at the end when she held her daughter in her arms, she had never felt happier. It was, in fact, the best day of her life.

Tommy was sitting next to her on the bed, a similar smile on his face. He had never thought that he would become a parent but now that he was one, he found that all of his love was directly for one tiny human and their mother and he had something to live for. He wasn’t afraid of death but now he wouldn’t go throwing himself into situations where he could die and leave his family behind. 

“What should we name her?” He asked

“I like the name Isla.”

“Isla Mary Shelby”

(Y/N) looked up at him, “Is Mary your mother’s name?”

Tommy nodded and (Y/N) smiled at him, 

“I like that, it suits her. Isla Mary Shelby”

.•° ✿ °•.

Life with a newborn was hard and even though they had nannies on hand to help out, (Y/N) still had reservations on relying on them but slowly she was working towards something that worked for her. 

The rest of the Shelby family were just as enamoured with Isla as her parents were and so Polly and Ada were regular visitors. (Y/N) in particular was very grateful for Polly’s presence, the woman always had the best advice and the woman would practically be the closest thing to a grandparent Isla would have.

As (Y/N) unlearned the behaviours of her own parents, so did Tommy. They did not want to become their parents and it took a lot of reassurance and from each other to make sure that they were doing the right thing, they weren't perfect but there was no such thing.

One day, when Isla was a few months old, Tommy brought up the elephant in the room; their marriage or much rather, their lack of one. They were outside, enjoying the warm weath of the summer, watching the horses in the field when he spoke up.

“One day, we’ll get married” He spoke out of the blue, linking their fingers together, “I’m not just saying that so that Isla is safe incase anything happens to me but I do love you and I do want to get married to you”

(Y/N) squeezed his hand, “Is this you proposing to me?”

“Yeah, it is”

Tommy pulled a ring box from out of his pocket and opened it and in there rested a gorgeous ring. He plucked the ring out of the box and held it out to her, 

“(Y/N), will you marry me?”

(Y/N)’s lips pulled into a bright smile as she nodded, “Of course, I will.”

Tommy slipped the ring on her finger and pulled her into a kiss. (Y/N) gushed over the ring as she pulled Tommy into hug, 

“I know our relationship is unconventional but I know we’re meant for each other” 

“We’re good to each other,” Tommy agreed. 

“I want to do it when she’s older though, so she can be the flower girl” (Y/N) says as she runs her fingers over Isla’s head, smiling at the little girl’s coos. 

“A year or two then”

(Y/N) nods before she brings him into another kiss.

“What is your last name?” Tommy asks

“Does it matter? I am to be a Shelby” (Y/N) replied as she admired her ring.

“I suppose it doesn’t”

.•° ✿ °•.

Just as promised, two years later, Tommy and (Y/N) were getting married. The wedding ceremony would be taking place in a nearby church whilst the reception would be held at their house. 

(Y/N) slipped her wedding dress on with the help of Polly whilst, Ada touched up her makeup. 

“Nervous?” Polly asked as she did the buttons of the back of her dress

“No” (Y/N) said as she watched her daughter through the mirror, “It’s been a long time coming.”

Polly patted her shoulders, “You’re good to go.”

(Y/N) gave her one last smile before she made her way over to her daughter.

“Hi princess, you ready?” (Y/N) asked

Isla was already dressed as she sat on the floor, playing her dolls, with a cute hair clip that matched her dress.

“We see daddy?”

“Uh-huh” (Y/N) nodded, smiling when Isla jumped up and took her hand. 

As she had no family to walk her down the aisle, John had stepped up and offered his arm, which she gratefully took. Isla toddled down first, throwing handfuls of petals out of her little basket down to the floor before she hurried over to wrap her arms around her father’s legs giving him a quick hug before Polly scooped her up.

Then, (Y/N) and John walked down and (Y/N) could not keep her eyes off of Tommy. He had a straight face but that did not fool her in any way, she knew he wanted the wedding as much as she did.

The ceremony sped by and before she knew it, (Y/N) was walking back down the aisle but this time her arm was in Tommy’s and their friends and family were cheering and throwing petals at them as they left the church. 

They stopped at the steps as they waited for the rest of their family to join them and they took the moment to have half a second of alone time.

“I told you we should have gotten married just by ourselves with an officiant.” Tommy muttered underneath his breath.

“I don’t plan on having another wedding, do you? I want this to be a day I remember for the rest of my life” (Y/N) responded, “Now, please don’t frown, you’re worse than Isla.”

Tommy rolled his eyes at the reminder that his daughter took after him in many ways but relaxed his face as the rest of their family joined them and took their places for the picture. 

.•° ✿ °•.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know they would do this”

(Y/N) jumped when Tommy suddenly stormed into the room she was in, a newspaper clenched in his hands.

“Huh? What are you on about?”

Tommy gave her the newspaper before he began to angrily pace in front of her. (Y/N) looked down at the newspaper and her stomach dropped at the headline and the picture from their wedding day below it;

‘Thomas Shelby OBE MP marries wife in small wedding in Warwickshire’

“What the fuck…” 

“They must have snuck in with the other photographer” Tommy theorised, “It’s a national paper”

“Oh Tommy,” (Y/N) sighed, “Is this today’s paper?”

Tommy shook his head, “Yesterday’s”

“Then it is too late” (Y/N) whimpered, “They know where I am and they’ll be here to get me”

“It’s been what, three, four years since you ran away, would they still care?”

“It doesn’t matter how long it’s been, they won’t stop until I’m back or dead. I defied them and they’ll never forgive me”

Tommy dropped to his knees in front of her, “They won’t I promise you that.”

“If this is yesterday's paper then they could be here already. It’s too late.”

“I have men here, we can take him”

(Y/N) shook her head in denial, “Not if they get my father or brothers”

“They’ll take a couple of weeks for them to get there, we can plan in that time.”

“No, Tommy” (Y/N) sounded defeated, “No offence, but your Peaky Boys have nothing on my fathers men and we’re isolated out here”

“Have you given up?” Tommy was in disbelief, “Have you given up on living? Given up on your daughter who sleeps upstairs?! That’s not who you are!”

“You don’t know them! They will kill all of us except me if we try to fight back and they will torture me with that fact. If I go to them without a fight, then you can live!”

“No. I refuse.” 

“You refuse?” (Y/N) couldn’t help but laugh

“We go on the run. Escape to America until it’s all blown over”  

“They’ll find us there and it’ll repeat until they get me”

Tommy released a frustrated sigh as he paced to the other side of the room and pour himself a large class of whiskey,

“I refuse to simply allow you to give yourself up to them. Isla needs her mother and I need my wife. You said you didn’t want to be the type of parents yours were but what you have planned, is simply no better.”

“Then what do you suggest?” (Y/N)’s voice was quiet but there was an edge to it.

“We go back to Small Heath, we gather our men and we plan.”

(Y/N) took a deep breath and nodded, “We do not give up”

Tommy pulled her into a hug, “We do not”

.•° ✿ °•.

They had temporarily moved back to Small Heath and Tommy and gathered all of the family but as (Y/N) refused to let anyone get too involved or close, the brunt of the plan laid on her shoulders.

It had almost been a month and nothing had happened which meant that her family was coming or she had managed to get away with it but they were still on edge and weren’t willing to put their guards down. Tommy had Moss keep an eye out along with Alfie Solomons sending information about what was happening in London. According to him, (Y/N)’s father’s men had paid for spies across the city and that they knew they were in Birmingham.

Their intuition was right when one day they had received a call from Moss about two cars heading into Small Heath and (Y/N) knew her family had finally arrived. Not wanting to bring the confrontation to the streets of Small Heath, Tommy and (Y/N) drove to the edge and met them there but they weren’t completely alone, Tommy had gun men placed around the area which gave them a little advantage but there was no knowing what her family had planned. 

If things went south and neither (Y/N) or Tommy survived then Ada was instructed to escape to America with Karl and Isla and (Y/N) could only hope that wouldn’t happen.

They stood in silence as they waited for the family to arrive but when (Y/N) spotted them, she pulled Tommy into a kiss and hug,

“I love you, never forget that.” She whispers to him.

“I won’t”

They pulled apart when the cars pulled to a stop and turned to face the men who stepped out. 

An older man stepped out first, before four younger men climbed out after him. (Y/N) could not help herself as she ran her eyes over her family, looking at what had changed since she last saw them.

“Father. Brothers” She greeted as they stood to a stop opposite her and Tommy.

The youngest brother, the one closest in age to her tipped his head in greeting whilst everyone else glared at her. 

“Daughter. I see you decided to make the correct decision and give yourself up.”

(Y/N) snorted and shook her head, “I have not. I will not”

“Do not be foolish sister,” Her eldest brother takes a step forward, “Don’t you realise how worried we’ve been? We’ve been searching for you for year, only to find out you’ve been here in this...shithole”

Her brother looked around in disgust as he finished his sentence.

“Drop the act. I’m not here to play games.” (Y/N) was tired already, “I’m not leaving with you, so what’s your plan?”

“You don’t have a choice. I set up a marriage between you and my closest man, you know he has spent all these years travelling across the globe looking for you? He deserves a reward”

(Y/N) pulled a face at her fathers words, “First of all, I am not a reward, I am a human being. Second, he must have not been looking very hard considering I ended up being ousted by a newspaper and thirdly, I’m already married and I don’t plan on getting married again”

Her second eldest brother snarled at her, “You’ve grown a backbone sister. We’ll have to beat it out of you”

This caused Tommy to finally step forward and cleared his throat, “I can’t let you to do that”

“Who the fuck are you?”

“I’m her husband” Tommy gestured towards (Y/N) and she could see that he enjoyed it.

“Enough!” (Y/N)’s father stepped forward, “No more arguing, I’ll give you one last chance or we’ll take you by force”

(Y/N)’s shoulders slumped, “Why don’t you leave me alone? Go back and just forget about me”

“No one will take us seriously, if we don’t make an example out of you, then we’ll be seen as a joke.”

“I won't go and you cannot force me to and I’d much rather die than go anywhere with you”

Her father pulled out his gun and her brothers quickly followed which caused Tommy to do the same and the air was thick with tension. 

“No, no, no if she wants to die then I’ll be the one to kill her.” Her father waved at her brothers and they put their guns away.

(Y/N) looked at Tommy and gave him a nod, and Tommy nodded back knowing the meaning behind the look and he put his gun away too. (Y/N) made her way to her father and when she was close enough, he reached out and pulled her towards him and jabbed his gun underneath her jaw.

“This is the end, daughter, you brought this upon yourself” Her father growled

“This is the end, but not for me”

(Y/N) pulled the gun she had been hiding in her waistband of her trousers and pressed it against her father’s chest. She didn’t even give him a moment to realise what was happening before she pulled the trigger, shooting her father in the chest.

He staggered back in shock before (Y/N) pushed him and causing him to fall backwards, landing on the floor with a thump,

“Fuck you!” (Y/N) spat in her native language. 

One of her brothers came running at her and she pointed the gun at him, stopping him in her tracks, “I’ll kill you too, don’t fucking try me”

“Go back to your home and never return.” Tommy stepped forward.

(Y/N)’s brothers looked between each other before (Y/N) spoke again, “Leave. Take his body and go back. Never come back here or try to find me.”

Her eldest brother motioned for the youngest two to take the body of their father while he cursed at her, 

“We’ll never forgive you and you’ll pay for your crimes in the afterworld”

“I’ll meet you there and we can pay for our crimes together”

Her brother growled her one last time before he got into the car and sped off. Once (Y/N) could no longer see them, she turned and collapsed into Tommy’s arms, a massive weight finally lifted off of her.

“You did it!” Tommy pulled away and smiled at her, “You did it, you wonderful woman”

(Y/N) let out a soft, “I did, didn’t I?”

Tommy took her gun and whistled, signalling for the men stationed around they could come down before he began to lead her towards the car, 

“Want a drink?”

“Several but before that I want to see my daughter, go back to Arrow House and take a hot bath”

“Whatever you want”

.•° ✿ °•.

The shouts of children filled the gardens of Arrow House along with the chattering of adults and (Y/N) felt the last of the weight of her shoulders disappear. She had always been worried that her family would find her but now that they were truly gone, she could live without worry.

It was Isla’s third birthday and her and Tommy had decided to throw a party to celebrate it. Her and a group of local children were running around whilst the parents and other adults were sitting around enjoying the warm summer air and cool drinks. 

Tommy crept up behind (Y/N) and wrapped one of his arms around her waist and gave her a kiss on her cheek, “You okay?”

(Y/N) gave him a smile and a nod, “I’m great”

“Mama!” Isla came running up to her, arms raised, “Up pwease!”

(Y/N) did as she was asked and lifted her daughter up, “What’s up princess?”

“Cake?”

“Hmm, I don’t know. What do you think, dad?” (Y/N) turned to Tommy with a smile 

Isla turned to her father and put on her biggest puppy dog eyes, “Pwease dada!”

Tommy put on a show as if he was seriously debating on what to do, “Only if I get a hug from the birthday girl”

(Y/N) almost dropped Isla from how sudden she tried to get out of her arms and into her fathers but she helped her climb over and watched as she gave Tommy a tight hug with an added kiss on the cheek. 

“Cake now?”

“Alright, go get your friends and we’ll go get the cake?” Tommy put her down and watched as she ran off to her friends. 

“She’s growing up too fast” (Y/N) pouted as they walked inside, “In no time she’ll be spending most of her time at school” 

“If she’s anything like her mother, she’ll be fine” Tommy assured her.

(Y/N) sighed, “I know, but I’m still going to be sad. Now let’s get going otherwise our princess will come storming in here demanding to know what’s taking so long”

Tommy pulled (Y/N) to a stop just before they entered the kitchen and cupped her face, “I love you”

(Y/N) smiled at him, “I love you too”

#call an ambulance but not for me vibes in 'that' scene lmao #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders x reader #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder imagines #tommy shelby imagines #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby x reader #Tommy Shelby #imagines #x reader #thomas shelby

[redxblueihateloveyou]

A clip of haru and rin popped up on my youtube feed, it was the -haru gets angry- scene of eternal summer (another heated rinharu argument, I couldn't say no XD) and while I was rewatching it, idk why but when haru said "I swim for myself and for my friends" and rin replied "then swim for those friends, and for your own sake!" the expression rin made made me feel like he didn't even consider himself haru's friend or close friend, but still encouraged him to find a dream for haru himself because that's the only way they can swim together again

Haha I can't say no to all the rinharu scenes lol

Idk, I watched it a bit differently. It's definitely not the fact that he didn't consider himself Haru's friend, it's just the fact that Rin thought that he wasn't gonna be enough to make Haru's future a happy one after all the points Haru made in his yelling about 'why he swims'.

It was before the time they confessed that for them both the best team is the one when they're together. So when Haru started with his "I don't swim for this assholes to stare at me and for the records or smth" you can see Rin starting to putting it all together, he was like "okay, what for then?" and Haru goes "I swim for myself and my friends", it's like... Rin knows Nagisa, Makoto and Rei won't go for the national team xD, he can't give him that, and he certainly doesn't have enough self-esteem to think that he alone is enough to inspire him to move forward, when everyone else is not there anymore, he also doesn't know yet, that for Haru being on one team with Rin makes it apriori the best team, nevermind who are the other two aparently, bc they weren't at the point of their relationship yet to admit that at this point, cause hey, insecurity, hey.

Just loving swimming is not enough to make someone want to turn it into profession, just bc it can potentially make you hate it later on. If he doesn't want medals, glory, fame and achievements doesn't excite him, then it's even more complicated. "For friends" is also not an option, bc you can't form a national team yourself. So of course Rin was a bit lost there. Because he didn't really know what to offer him. He couldn't quite go and say "And if it's only me?"

Utsumi said about this scene that for Haru it was the moment he could finally let go and yell his true feelings out, just bc it was Rin (awwww), but for Rin it was the moment he started to think just about what Haru himself really wanted, for the first time hearing his real feelings out loud. Thinking that he should shove his own wishes away to help Haru find himself.

Basically as we know Rin automatically assumed that Haru will go with him "to the world" since like 13, bc he wanted to be with him, so from his own point of view since he didn't know about Haru wanting the same thing, it looks like all this time he pushed him into that (I guess u can say selfishly) bc he finds it hard to "go on without him".

So what Rin was going through during Haru's outburst was partially self-loathing, bc it was the moment that he realized that he put his selfish wish to be with him over Haru's own wishes (which was also to be with him, but that's well.. they love their misunderstandings) and didn't even know what was on his mind all this time.

But then he was also hurt, bc that was also a moment that he realized that there was in fact a possibility that his and Haru's dream might just not be the same one, and that's why "what dream? what future? it's only you who cares about that!" was so painful.

So like... true about the fact that he just wanted to help him, even if it meant things won't work out the way he wanted, that's why he phrased it like that in his talk with Sousuke in Yakusoku like "I'll just show him how it can be" but if he doesn't want this (me), that's okay. and that's what he said in Australia, too, when Haru turned to him already after realizing that he can have that with Rin, Rin said "we can just try it out, that's all" and if you don't like it, then fuck this and that was when Haru stopped feeling pressured and feeling like a circus monkey.

And that's why I find Rin's behavior during Australian trip twice as sweet, bc I don't know how dude was even holding on there, I'm guessing it was extremely hard for him to shove it all away and don't accidentely say smth that will make Haru feel like he owns him smth, you know. That's why he always stopped himself after "I've always admired you" for example, he goes "ahh no, can't do that", but then he slips in bed again. He like tried to tell him without this sounding obligatory like when Sousuke went "well, if you quit, he quits, haven't you thought about that?" making Haru feel quilty. Rin went like I won't lie, without you it's hard for me, but it's just bc you're so amazing and you make me feel like I can do anything, but the question he ends his speech with is whether he makes Haru feel the same way or not?

Rin's just the person who always always just GOES for the thing he wants and loves, so it was clear that he was like "I can't let you go, I just can't let you go, I'm sorry. but it also kills me to see you that way, so please please say you want this with me too". That's why it was so AAAAAA cause it's like technically both of their futures were on the line there, so the way he was holding on so well and made this about Haru is just really sweet. He was like we can travel the world together, watch oceans and fountains and fishies, eat mackerel sandwiches, swim together, be together, do illegal stuff together, I won't let the system imprison you, spread your wings, babe xD He was like really considerate, but also fought for their happiness, so it's like two for two for me.

But yeah, 2x09.. I fucking love that scene, bc of reasons, but also I always get extemely angry, too, bc I'm like.. I hate when they leave half of the stuff unspoken and then their insecurities like add some absolute bullshit to the blank spaces and it all leads to me facepalming, bc I'm like... I know what one wants and the other wants and they want the same thing, but they think they don't and just... kill me pls lmao

Anyways, I'm so glad this is finally over and we won't have to go throught his ever again. Fucking finally, now just confess that you don't just want to be in one bed with him, but to fuck him too and we're ok xD

#answered #anonymous #rinharu #harurin #free! #free #rin matsuoka #nanase haruka #haruka nanase #matsuoka rin #sharkbait #haru x rin #free! eternal summer

[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

ok ok, so i'm new at requesting lol. i absolutely adore your work ( and for some reason this is the only blog posting karube content? whats up with that, the barista needs more love ) but that brings me to why i'm here. something soft with karube, maybe he finally gets that farm in australia he wanted. slow dancing by moonlight. just an idea i had, totally cool if you don't do it lol.

Yes Karube doesn’t get the love that he deserves 👏😔 Such a cute idea, I hope you like it 💕

Moonlight Dance | Daikichi Karube

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

Character(s): Karube

Summary: You stay at your boyfriend Karube’s farm in Australia for a holiday together, and he asks you an important question.

Warnings: a suggestive theme (but it’s only one sentence)

Word Count: 2.1k

*reader is gender-neutral

Karube gif credit

You sat on the deck chair that was placed near the end of the porch. The dusk light of the sun covered you like a warm blanket, making you feel safe and at home. The distant sound of lorikeets cheeping in the trees together filled your ears, making you smile.

Karube had managed to buy himself a decent farm along the east coast of Australia. He had invited you to come over as soon as it was his because he was so excited to share it with you. And you couldn’t blame him, it was beautiful.

It was a far way from any sort of urban environment, so it was constantly quiet and soothing, leaving only the sound of nature to fill the air.

You were so proud that Karube was finally able to achieve his dream. Even if it was just as simple as this, you couldn’t be more happy.

You closed your eyes and relaxed in the evening sun. You wanted to enjoy the warm light just before it fell asleep behind the horizon, because night time did get quite chilly sometimes.

After a short few minutes, you felt a gentle hand on your arm, making you open your eyes. Your boyfriend Karube was sitting on the ground on a cushion next to you with a lit cigarette poking out of his mouth, giving you a loving smile. He was wearing his usual blue, faded jeans with a plain black t-shirt. “You tired love?” he asked, rubbing your arm soothingly.

You nodded. “A little bit. I might get an early night.” You sat up and reached your hands behind your back to stretch them. You sighed satisfyingly after hearing some bones pop in your back. You had only been at Karube’s farm for a few days, and you already feel more relaxed than anything.

You leant sideways and leant yourself against his broad shoulders, making him snuggle into you. The silence between you was so comfortable, making you feel at ease and at home. Karube always managed to make you feel that way no matter where you both were.

“Hey! Before you get anymore tired, can I show you something?” he suddenly asked, becoming all excited. He turned, making you sit up off him.

You nodded and chuckled at his excitement. He acted like a giant kid at times, which never failed to make you laugh.

He scrambled to his feet and ran inside through the back doors to the house. “Just wait there! I have to grab something,” he said.

You watched and laughed as he almost tripped on the carpet before regaining his balance and running again. You waited patiently while watching as the sun began disappearing over the horizon, making the sky fade to a soft orange.

You hoped things could stay this tranquil and calm forever. With Karube by your side, you didn’t need anything else.

You turned as you heard soft footsteps behind you. Karube returned having discarded his cigarette and was now holding out his hand to you. “Let’s go! We don’t want it to get too late before we get there cause we’ll get cold,” he encouraged.

You took his hand happily. “Where exactly are we going?” you asked curiously as Karube and you stepped off the porch onto the grass.

“It won’t be a surprise if I tell you,” he beamed, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you closer to him. “You’ll have to be patient and see for yourself.”

You huffed out an annoyed sigh. He always had such a thrill from surprising you with things, whether it be something huge like a holiday away or a small gift he bought you. He was full of surprises, so you became accustomed to his playful ways.

You both walked along the grass fields for a while, chasing each other and enjoying the time together. Karube picked up every flower he could find and kept adding it to the stash in your arms, insisting that you kept a hold of them so you could put them in a water vase when you got back to the house. You took your jacket off and used it as a makeshift bag, lugging all of the colourful flowers along as he brought them to you.

He kept relating some part of you to each one, like “This one would go well with your hair.” or “This one matches your favourite shirt.” It was so endearing watching him be so invested in such little things about life. It made you feel so lucky to have someone who enjoyed such minor yet beautiful things.

As the sun disappeared from the sky and the moon shone bright over the farm fields, Karube walked along behind you with his arms wrapped around your shoulders. He was kissing your cheek every few minutes and whispering sweet nothings into your ears.

“Are you getting cold baby?” he asked, concerned. You shook your head. “No. You’re like a human blanket,” you laughed, pulling him closer by his arms so his chest was against your back.

Karube grinned and tucked his face into your neck and left a few light kisses on your skin. “You’re so cute,” he breathed out against you and tickled your waist slightly, making you squirm in his arms.

You both trudged along the long grass for a while, going to wherever Karube was planning. He had pulled out a torch from his back pocket when it got too dark to see where you were stepping.

When you both shortly arrived at a large field that was surrounded by a metal fence, Karube brought you over to the gate and unlatched it from the fence, motioning for you to step inside. The field was completely empty, containing nothing but long blades of grass and the moonlight shimmering off it.

You stared up at the moon, mesmerized by its light and fullness. You had never seen it that bright before.

Karube walked up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist and tucked his chin on your shoulder. “You want to have some fun?” he whispered into your ear.

You leant back to look at him in shock. “Here? We’re in the middle of a field,” you said, taken back by his bold words.

He laughed and placed his hand on your head, messing your hair up. “That’s not what I meant, naughty,” he chuckled. “Watch this.”

You watched in wonder as Karube started running along the grass with a sudden trail of fireflies rising up out of the ground as he jogged. An excited grin painted across your face as you laughed at your boyfriend, loving seeing him happy.

“Come on!” he yelled after a while of you watching him. You lifted your legs and followed, looking behind you as fireflies sprouted from the long grass, chirping and singing while flashing their lights.

It was such a gorgeous scene. You and Karube chasing each other and tackling to the ground as little stars scattered around you, making the moment almost seem magical. It was a once in a lifetime experience.

Once you both had grown tired, you leant against a small tree that was planted in the corner of the field. You were tucked into his chest, breathing in his scent to relax you.

“Thanks so much for inviting me here babe,” you mumbled against him, earning his soft hand stroking your hair gently. “Why wouldn’t I? I love you so much, I want to share my life with you.”

His words made your heartstrings dance in your chest and your face heat up. Even after being with him for several years, he still knew how to make your heart race with simple words.

You pushed your head even closer to his chest so your cheek was squished up against the cotton material of his shirt. You could feel his heartbeat, rapidly pulsing at a mile a minute. It was almost banging against his ribcage. You frowned and leant back to look into his eyes with concern.

“Are you okay baby?” you asked worryingly. You rubbed your hand against his chest, over his heart. “You’re hearts beating very fast.”

You saw Karube look to the ground to avoid your gaze while he answered you. “It’s probably just from running around before, I’m still a bit out of breath.”

You glanced at him for a little longer before shrugging it off.

Both of you observed the grassy field in front of you in a comfortable silence. Your eyes widened as you saw the ground blossom in bright moonlight, seeing as the clouds had separated to let the moon’s shine through. You smiled and turned to Karube excited.

“Come here!” you pressed, grabbing his hand and pulling him out to the small patch of shorter grass where the moon was shining. “I want to dance.”

“Dance?” Karube repeated. “Baby, you know I can’t dance,” he laughed nervously. You shook your head at his claim and grabbed his hands to place on your waist while you wrapped yours around his neck. “I don’t care, I’m not the best dancer either.”

You slowly began swaying your bodies, spinning in slow circles while keeping your foreheads pressed together and looking into each other’s eyes lovingly. You swore every time you looked at Karube, you felt yourself fall for him more and more.

You saw in your peripheral vision some fireflies beginning to make their way out of the grass again and buzz around the two of you as you slow-danced in the moonlight. You chuckled to yourself, it must have looked like the cliché romantic Disney movie scene, but you wouldn’t have asked for anything more or less.

After a few minutes of silent swaying and feeling the cold breeze on your skin, Karube stopped his movements and pulled back from you. You looked at him confused as to why he stopped.

“Well, I guess there isn’t a better time than now,” he started, making you frown.

Karube gazed into your eyes with a big, goofy smile on his face. His breathing was a bit unleveled. He seemed very nervous.

“Uh, Y/N. I just want to say that, over the past few years I’ve known you, you’ve made me the happiest man I could have ever hoped to have been. You’ve made me a better person in myself, and also have taught me really valuable lessons through our relationship,” he stated, fiddling with the material of your clothes. You smiled at him, a smile spreading across your features as he continued. “I want to thank you for always being there for me, through both the good times and the bad times. I honestly don’t know where I would be without you. And that is why I am doing this.”

You watched in wonder as Karube separated himself from you and slowly knelt down onto one knee. Your heart stopped, there’s no way he was doing what you were thinking he was doing.

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small violet box before holding it out to you in both hands. “Y/N L/N, will you please make me the happiest person on earth for the rest of my life and marry me?” He opened the box to reveal a gorgeous ring.

His hopeful eyes glistened in the moonlight up at you. You were covering your mouth in shock, tears filling up your eyes. You couldn’t believe it.

You nodded your head yes, and knelt down to Karube to give him the biggest hug you could ever give, head tucked into his neck and arms wrapped around his shoulders tightly. You heard him let out a big sigh of happiness and wrap his arms around you, squeezing you just as tight.

You leant back and crashed your lips onto his in a heated kiss. You held each other close underneath the moonlight, being the happiest souls that the moon would see for the time it would be awake.

You squealed as Karube suddenly broke the kiss and lifted you up into his arms with your legs clinging around his waist. He had tears of happiness rolling down his cheeks, making you reach out and wipe them away with your thumb gently before giving him another loving kiss on his lips.

“Thank you so much Y/N,” he whispered against your lips happily. “I couldn’t have asked for anything more in my life than you for the rest of it.” You couldn’t speak, so happy and emotional from the event. Your expression said it all to him.

As you slowly made your way back to the house to spend a happy and romantic night together, you and Karube were glued to each other’s side, laughing and cuddling in the cold night air.

He now had everything he ever dreamed of, and he couldn’t have been more happy about it.

#alice in borderland #alice in borderland imagines #alice in borderland imagine #alice in borderland scenarios #alice in borderland one shots #alice in borderland x reader #aib #aib imagines #aib imagine #aib scenarios #aib one shots #aib x reader #karube #daikichi karube #karube imagines #karube imagine #karube scenarios #karube one shots #karube x reader

[caffernnn]

Final stroke spoilers: ⚠️‼️

I just saw a post on Twitter about the Haru and Rin scene and how they didn’t feel that it was that ooc of Haru. I thought I was the only one who felt that it was kind of justified on Haru’s end. Because both Rin and Ikuya put Haru and their friends through so much when they were lost and wanted to swim with Haru again. And I get that professional swimming is entirely different than what they’re used to, but it really sucks that as soon as the competition got a little hard they decided to just drop free and only swim their preferred styles. That’s got to be a slap in the face to Haru, because what was all of that other stuff about? Like Rin wanted for YEARS for Haru to swim on the world stage and after the first race is like “you’re on your own.” He honestly deserves it to be honest even if Haru would’ve never said anything to protect their friendship he was clearly thinking or thought these thoughts. For a show where Haru is the mc we rarely get to see how he feels about things. I wish we can see the movie soon, cause I really wanna see how that whole sequence takes place.

⚠️ Talking about Free! Final Stroke spoilers below the cut ⚠️

It’s wild to me (it probably shouldn’t be surprising; idk) how even going off of just spoilers, there is a clear divide in the reactions people are having to Haru’s actions in the movie, especially in reference to the sudden shift leading up to the fight with Rin. I can see why people are surprised by it on a base level because so much of his successes in DttF, paired with the camaraderie everyone seems to have for a majority of the movie, leads you to believe Haru has emotionally matured and stabilized since high school, which is true! He’s more open to change and examining his emotions, especially as he starts to grapple with a high-stakes long-term goal for what feels like the first time. With that said, all of this can be true at the same time Haru is going through a steady breakdown that can/will likely lead to burnout. So many people who’ve been put through rigorous academic programs or career training or anything else equally as intensive can attest to the frustration of feeling like every few steps forward (gaining experiential knowledge, making connections, learning more about your identity in reference to x goal, etc) are followed by a step back (exhaustion, plateaus, expectations you can’t meet, mistakes spilling out when you can’t keep repressing the negatives in the name of “productivity”). Haru was able to make it this far because he has grown and started to heal some of the cracks in his support group, but the sheer amount of pressure makes it easier for him to break, and old wounds that never fully healed have time to fester.

I probably sound like a broken record in these movie-related posts when talking about Haru getting obsessed with becoming stronger and not knowing what to do with that fairly new and overwhelming drive. I can’t be mad at Haru completely for his choices here (can’t wait to be called a Haru apologist when the movie comes out in more places jfjdjd) because he partially fell victim to circumstance. This is one of the first times Haru takes the expectations of him being a “hero” or “prodigy” into consideration, and now he’s trying to navigate the expectations of success that come with those titles while not being sure 1) what exactly they are beyond winning, and 2) not being sure if they’re actually attainable for him. Along with that, he’s putting faith in Ryuuji’s instruction and guidance because he needs someone with any sort of credibility or experience with the pro circuit to show him how to get to the top. Even though from an outside standpoint it’s easier to discredit and reject Ryuuji’s assertion that everyone at the top has to give something up to get there, there are a number of reasons Haru reconsiders the notion with everything he’s seeing. He’s seeing his newest rivals reach crazy success and strength through isolation, and Ryuuji is dangling a golden opportunity in front of his face by going to Haru in the moments where he’s most vulnerable and saying “yes, that strength you crave is possible for you, but only if you pay this specific price for it.” Nobody should bear the weight of “saving” Haru from his circumstances (especially not his friends on their own journeys… Ryuuji and other mentors watching this trainwreck can eat my shorts tho), but dealing with this ultimatum while his core support group is pushing forward through their own challenges and/or busy in another country, I can’t be too surprised when he starts to overextend himself and burst at the seams.

As far as the blow-up with Rin, I won’t say it’s fully justified, but it’s understandable. The way Haru has had to make peace with his hardships with Ikuya and Rin has largely been by atoning for his own involvement in those rifts and trying to turn over a new leaf without expecting much in return. He took the opportunities of swimming with both of them again to replace any apologies on their parts and largely made peace with it. As much as it’s going to hurt to watch, I’m interested to see this fight play out because it sounds like it addresses a problem we bring up a lot in meta analyses posts: there needs to be more explicit conversations and apologies between characters, or the closure feels flimsy and temporary at best. This fight isn’t about closure (it’s about a lot of things both involving and excluding Rin, but I ranted about that in the other spoiler post) but it’s acknowledgement after all of this time that there’s still a need for it. Having Rin back in his life as a rival and friend has held the caveat in the back of his mind that Rin will leave his side again if Haru’s friendship/rivalry stops serving all of his interests. Haru’s ultimate fear of being abandoned by people, of people using him without understanding him and then throwing him aside for someone/something else, is drastically coming back to the surface in all of his stress. Rin and Ikuya choosing to continue their pro careers with strokes that better suit their strengths isn’t abandonment, just like Makoto choosing a university in Tokyo wasn’t, but Haru is so lost in his own stress and despair that he can’t see these choices as anything but personal attacks in the moment. These choices don’t have to do with Haru and we’re never meant to hurt him (which he comes to realize by the end of each fight), but the unresolved issues mixed with his fears make him explode.

It’s not a black and white situation where only one side is in the right, and I hope whatever resolution comes in the second movie acknowledges that. Rin didn’t deserve Haru’s taunting and wrath in that moment, but I do want him to reflect on the whole mess and recognize that Haru’s in a desperate place not unlike the one he was in when he first went to Australia and seemingly cut everyone off. I want them both to consider that avoiding airing out those insecurities because it’d be uncomfortable or embarrassing ultimately led them back here, unsure how to talk about changes and concerns without first having one of them explode or hit rock bottom. They can be friends outside of swimming, I’d want them to be friends outside of swimming, but I think Haru isn’t blind to how much of their connection is reliant on intrigue in the water, and a part of him is scared that Rin won’t have a reason to stick around if they aren’t rivaling each other in the same stroke anymore.

All of this can make for a great chance of resolution in the second movie, if done well. There’s opportunity for Haru to realize that the trajectory of dreams can change, and just like Rin changing his stroke or Makoto changing his training emphasis, you can honor the parts of the dream that first inspired you while finding a path that honors the person you’ve become. There’s opportunity for Haru to break from the dangerous echo chamber he’s currently in telling him he has to do this all alone in a few ways. Maybe he’ll have a moment where he’s like “I gave up everything and still couldn’t get stronger, so now I need to get back to finding what gives me strength personally.” Maybe he’ll have a moment where he’s like “if my only option is a path paved in loneliness, I need to find a new dream.” There are so many directions the story can go in at this point, and I’m excited to see what happens next (and maybe write about the paths they don’t choose lol).

#spoilers #final stroke spoilers #once again turning crumbs into a feast #I’ll get back to non-spoiler convos soon dw #the Haru brainrot is real though #thanks for sending! #anonymous

[innovativestruggles]

SouGou theories, thoughts and speculations based on canonical evidence

Alright, I know I am so epically late to the party just like I was with Haikyuu and TsukiYachi but I am here now and I am so sad that a lot of the SouGou shippers have...disappeared...

Regardless, I still want to put forward my own thoughts and speculations on these two because they have given me brainrot over the past few weeks. 

So much like the earlier post I did with TsukiYachi, this one will be similar, except I am basing everything on the anime as I have not read the light novel (tbh light novels aren’t really my thing so...). Just to reiterate, when I make any speculations and theories, they are always based on canonical evidence, and of course my own interpretation. I put forward solid evidence so people can see where I am coming from and what I am yapping on about. People are free to draw their own conclusions of what they see in canon, so just because I have a theory with evidence, it does not invalidate another person’s theory of the same evidence...if that makes sense?

Every time I watch a new anime, I always come in with a very neutral mindset. I have a fascination with relationships (hence my ship heavy blog) so I ship characters based on their level of chemistry and compatibility.

Because I am so fashionably late to the party, a lot of the speculations below have been discussed by other SouGou fans. Essentially when I read some of their posts, they pretty much validated what I saw. So I want to credit all those SouGou stans who did the hard yard first on their speculations of these two. This post may already have what was speculated, but it’s nice to have it all in one big post. I will of course add my own thoughts and interpretations as well. So, happy reading!

WARNING: THIS IS A VERY LONG POST

Gou’s Relationship with Other Characters

Sousuke did not make his debut until Season 2, so for all of Season 1, the focus was on Gou and the other characters. To be honest, nothing stood out to me in terms of shipping potential with Gou in Season 1. I do not go into watching anime with the intention of shipping characters - the shipping just automatically occurs when two characters have good chemistry. So with Gou in Season 1, all I saw was a manager being incredibly supportive, friendly, strong willed and determined to see her friends through the swimming club. You may have read my other post on Free! and toxic masculinity, but I did mention in there that what I loved most about Free! was the friendship and the emotional vulnerability. Because Gou is a side character, we never get to see too much of her and how she would develop as a character outside her obsession with muscles. But as viewers, we get the gist of her sweet personality.

Kyoto Animation

Before I dive into the speculations, I want to point out something with KyoAni. For starters, this studio is known for its amazing adaptational works of manga and light novels. When it comes to anime that does not purely focus on romance, they are so so so good with romantic undertones. As much as I do enjoy romance anime, I enjoy ones with subtle undertones of romance even more. I have watched a large portion of anime from KyoAni and I can definitely come to the above conclusion. Although Free! is not a romance genre, there is very subtle light teasing of potential developments between certain characters. Like I mentioned in my Free! post on toxic masculinity, I will disregard that just because the male characters are hugging, crying and showing vulnerable emotions to each other, it does not necessarily mean that there is a romantic development. The very subtle undertones of romance I could see is mostly between Gou, Sousuke and Momo (I will explain more later). So what I am trying to point out in this paragraph is that Free! does have minute traces of romance, because based on what other anime KyoAni produced, there are similarities in how they portray romantic undertones.

SouGou Initial Meeting

The initial meeting did not particularly stand out to me until I watched more scenes and interactions between SouGou later on in the series. What I noticed was the level of admiration Gou has for Sousuke. Again, this was not apparent when I watched the initial meeting scene on its own. I had to see a culmination of scenes between them to realise.

Oh gosh just look at how happy she is seeing Sousuke. If you go back and watch this scene again, she legit just shoved Momo out the way and ran to Sousuke. Lmao poor Momo!

Also....

Momo still staring at SouGou the whole time...

Momo getting pissy lololol (and super jelly)

Gou just looking so happy staring after Sousuke...ughh my heart....

Middle School

Just something I picked up. When Rin transferred to Iwatobi during middle school, it sounded like Gou did not go with him. So she stayed behind in the same middle school together with Sousuke after Rin left. See below.

Because Gou is one year younger than Sousuke, the scene above just sounded like he stopped talking to her when he left for Tokyo when he was a first year high school student and she a third year middle school student...and then the below scene confirmed when and the reason...

In the above scene, Sousuke explained that he hurt his shoulder in the summer of his first year of high school, and then he heard from Gou that Rin was visiting Japan at the time, so I am guessing SouGou must have stopped talking to each other around that time when Sousuke injured his shoulder. The injury was most likely why he stopped talking to her because he knew the consequences...that if Rin found out through Gou... then yeah... so to him it was better to cut off contact with both siblings...omg my heart...my poor baby Sousuke...

Anyways, point is they were definitely still talking when Rin went to Iwatobi and then later Australia. So I wonder how close they were to each other...? They do sound very close...wonder if they walked to and from school together...omfg my heart hurts again...aaaahhhhhhh

Childhood Friends

This trope is so cute and I really like the whole ‘he is my brother’s best friend’ kind of thing. Because we all know how overprotective Rin is of Gou and if there is anyone who is good enough for her, Rin would definitely think it be Sousuke.

LOOK AT HOW PRECIOUS THEY ARE OMG. Love this official artwork of all three of them. And Sousuke has such a sweet gentle expression when he is looking at Gou...

Best part also is that subtle teasing of these two. Anime is always about camera work and specific panels as well, so it just looked like to me that they really wanted to emphasise this scene between SouGou. The snow, the Christmas tree, the childhood friends - all in one frame.

Indirect Moments

These are the moments that started me on the SouGou ship! 

Gou sees Sousuke at the train station right after he has been brooding about his shoulder injury

Gou sees Sousuke at the hospital

What I really really liked about these scenes is that every single time Sousuke was having a down moment, or a vulnerable moment in relation to his shoulder injury, Gou happened to be there and witness it. It may be coincidental that she always happen to be in a place and time when Sousuke wasn’t feeling great. I was initially wondering why she never approached him in the moment and then you look at Sousuke’s pissy face and that’s probably why lmao. Regardless, Gou probably knew his state of mind, and hence decided to leave him to it. The look she gave him was more out of curiosity rather than concern but because the anime never went into detail about what she was thinking at the time, it’s hard to tell. Most important thing is that Gou was there during his vulnerable moments, before anyone knew of his shoulder injury...

Jelly Momo

Ngl, I absolutely love Momo, not only because he’s a hilarious character but because Sousuke always unintentionally cockblocks him when it comes to Gou. I just find it so funny. The poor thing. And Gou just has absolutely zero interest in him....

The thing is, Momo knows that Sousuke constantly gets in the way...it has happened several times already and I think he is also beginning to realise that Gou is probably quite fond of Sousuke, hence his very vocal comment about paying attention to him. i just love it how the anime framed it like this because you know it’s a running gag going on between all three.

Also, the look on Sousuke’s face in that above scene...you can’t see it but if you go back and watch it, and it’s only a split second when Momo moves his head, it’s absolutely hilarious. He legit has a “wtf” look on his face 😂

Just going to put this above scene here where Momo gets dragged away. Poor thing. I think at this point, Gou is catching on to something with Sousuke...

After Momo bombarded Gou with his hilarious hobbies, these two just ended up alone together ❤️

Season 3′s ending credits depict a lot of parallels between characters as well as some level of competitiveness between them. So maybe it is just a coincidence here but Sousuke and Momo together probably continues to depict the hilarious running gag between them and Gou. LOL!

Gou’s Concern

No really, when Sousuke walked out and decided to swim with his shoulder injury, the concerned look on Gou’s face. This was the first time in the whole entire series (season 3 included) where Gou showed this much concern...my heart. 

When there are problems in the Iwatobi swim club related to a character, a lot of the issues and concerns revolved around the other characters helping each other (Gou would be excluded). She is just a supporting character that does not get a lot screen time. Aside from her managerial duties, we don’t see too much of her during important/significant moments for a main character - unless she is interacting with Rin in some way. So her very minimal “interactions” with Sousuke during his vulnerable moments are considered somewhat significant (even if she just saw him walking by) because they are more symbolic than anything.

Off Screen Interactions

Okay, the amount of times Sousuke talked about Gou...they clearly talk a lot off screen and whether that be through text messages, phone calls or meeting up, I believe they are a combo of all three. I have several reasons to believe that they do hang out together quite a bit. 

1. The amount of times Gou keeps bumping into Sousuke randomly (ngl the times the audience sees is probably only a fraction to what actually goes on behind the scenes) 

2. In the later episodes, they have been seen walking home together. 

3. Some of the things Sousuke said to Rin about Gou would warrant more of a face to face conversation rather than something through text message. I mean unless they talk on the phone (that would be so fucking adorable aaaaahhhhhh) 

4. In the CD drama, they have been shown to hang out just the two of them over mediocre stuff so I am sure that would have met up and talked more about other more deeper things with each other

Gou obviously confided in Sousuke how lonely she felt because her older bro was neglecting her

LOOK AT THE AMOUNT OF TIMES HE TALKED ABOUT HER! That obviously indicated they do interact quite some bit off screen. Judging from the things they talked about, it sounded like she was filling him in with what’s going on in her life..and you know just every day stuff... I love it! They are so casual and so comfy with each other <33333333

Platinum Abs

Not counting the fact that I almost choked on my drink when I saw this for the first time, but I was curious to see what Gou thought of them. So I waited....and waited...and waited...and it never came, despite the fact that she was in his presence multiple times when he was looking like this....

And I came across several older posts that pointed this out and it totally validated what I felt as well. Gou, the muscle obsessive freak has not spoken a word about Sousuke’s nationally ranked swimmer’s perfect body. WILL YOU JUST LOOK AT THEM? HE’S FUCKING MASSIVE!! Like..all over....holy shit just look at those guns...like damn fine man.... anyways... so Gou, why have we not heard a single word from you about them? To her, they are probably the best of all the characters in the series ...

And my guess is... Sousuke is most likely special to her. She does not see him as merely an object of muscles (much like she does with the other characters including her own bro) but something more. And whether that is consciously or unconsciously, the outcome is still the same. Because when someone means a lot to you and if you like someone in that way, you are less likely to see them as an object of some fantasy...

The OVA

Yo not gonna leave this one out and if there is anything that really pushed this ship further, it was definitely the OVA.

Sousuke is so pedantic about what people call him (unless you are Nagisa...which he has almost no words for ...). So the only one who can add “kun” to his name is Gou <333333

I’m not going to delve too deeply into this as

1. It is self explanatory

2. A lot of people have already discussed this topic

But, overprotective Sousuke being a sweet guy and lending Gou his jacket is something out of a shojo manga. Even more shojo is that he;

1. Did it himself and not just giving the jacket to her

2. Got overly pissed off at Ai for drenching Gou

3. COULDN’T LOOK AT GOU WHEN HE GAVE HER THE JACKET....like the whole time....ksfklafkhgdshgjdsh

Sousuke isn’t very good with expressing himself, so this scene, out of his own sheer awkwardness, really played into the intimate nature of this potential ship. I’ll explain more later...

P. S. LOOK AT HOW ENORMOUS THE JACKET LOOKS ON GOU...she so schmol (and Sousuke is just massive...). Legit they look like a couple on a date...

Sunset Meeting

Ngl when I first started watching Season 3, this scene came out so unexpectedly I had to replay it just so it would process in my mind that it happened. But aside from the fact that it was framed in a shojo manga kinda way i.e. Gou running towards Sousuke, then walking together in the sunset and then talking about deep and meaningful stuff...you get the drift...I absolutely loved it how Gou was the very first person Sousuke told about his surgery’s success. Omg..swimming and the success of the surgery just meant so much to him and he was already telling Gou about it...

Everything about the particular scene was so so intimate. The scenery, the conversation, the tone of voice, the colours used......everything! Just look at how happy Gou is....

And damn they walked home together ... my heart cannot take it anymore aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

Running Gag

I did notice this trend going on but it didn’t cross my mind until I read a post that it was like a thing between SouGou. Honestly it is so so cute! Gou has this excited pitched, giggle-ish, admiration-like tone every single time she calls out and runs to him. It’s so sweet. You actually never hear it ever when she talks or calls out to any other characters in the series, so Sousuke is indeed very special to her <3

Also...something about Sousuke walking alone and Gou either noticing him or running to him...

Gou and Momo’s Mistaken Date vs. Gou and Sousuke’s Mistaken Date

In Part 4 of the Free Take Your Marks movie, Rin walks by a burger shop and noticed Momo and Gou sitting together and having lunch. He mistakenly thought they were going out on a date, and before the rest of the Iwatobi team could come to the table after order their food, Rin gets a call from Sousuke telling him that he cannot find his way. So Rin dashes off to save Sousuke still with the misunderstanding. The episode is absolutely hilarious on Rin’s part.

Then in the CD drama, there is a story titled “Sousuke and Gou’s secret date.” Of course it is a case of ‘mistaken identity’ but as I stated earlier, these two would hang out with each other to discuss superficial things, so I am certain that they do hang out with each other on occasions to talk about other more deep and meaningful things as well. Considering the things Sousuke has been telling Rin about Gou, you can make an educated guess that SouGou do have their alone times quite a bit off screen.

Anyways, so this is the part where I believe Free has its subtle romantic undertones. I mentioned in my toxic masculinity post that when the male characters were being vulnerable, hugged or cried, that it does not necessarily mean they are gay, or that there would be any romantic development between the characters. You could say the same with SouGou as well, however, the difference lies in how the anime framed it, and the biggest tip that pushed from just a friendship kind of thing to a teasing of a potential romantic thing is the “secret date” part and the running gag between Gou, Sousuke and Momo. We know Momo clearly has romantic interest in Gou, and the interesting thing is...Sousuke being placed in between Gou and Momo numerous times throughout the anime to signify that there is a potential triangle going on. Does this make sense? It is the nuances as a viewer that you can pick up, and it is even more so if you can understand Japanese. I sometimes switch the subtitles off and really just watch what they say and it’s a completely different view. Hard to explain...but that is the vibe I get.

Extras

I just had to put this scene in. JUST LOOK AT GOU LOOKING AT SOUSUKE OMG. She totally loves him <3 YOU CAN’T TELL ME OTHERWISE!!!

I always love me some official artwork of these two, and disregarding the fact that there are four other guys around and Nagisa just being the little helper he is, SouGou wrestling is something I just need to have in my life <3 I just love the light subtle tease between these two. Thank you KyoAni! And them holding hands... I’m ded...

Sousuke’s Feelings

This is purely interpretation based on what I have seen so far and of course when I am writing a full post like this about SouGou, it does help piece the puzzle together a little more. Tbvh, I strongly believe that Sousuke has repressed feelings for Gou. My reasoning is quite complex. Sousuke is a bit of a difficult character. He is aloof, serious and can be standoffish. He is not good with expressing his emotions and feelings, yet he does questionable things if he thinks it is for the best for those he cares about. Obviously noticeable when he lied to Rin about his shoulder injury, and of course completely stopped talking to Rin and Gou after being injured. But he deeply cares for those around him, and will go out of his way to help, even if it is to the detriment of his own welfare. 

Sosuke hanging out with Gou and talking to her and being around her is already an aspect of his kindness, that he would do this to anyone he cares about. But what I meant about repressed feelings for Gou was more evident in the OVA, and I think that is where the slight nuances come into play. Sousuke is overprotective of Gou and he most likely sees her as a little sister, considering he grew up with her alongside his best friend. But I think when it comes down to more intimate moments i.e. giving Gou his jacket and just not being able to look at her, I think that small nuance does give a small insight into Sousuke’s feelings for Gou. It may be minute but it’s there, and the way the anime framed that scene, it evoked a host of response from the viewers. That in itself is enough for viewers to make a determination as to what Sousuke might be feeling towards Gou at the time ... and it was probably more than a platonic kind of way...

Just to let you know that Sousuke most likely would not act on these feelings because of who he is as a person. And if there is any possibility that things could go awry between him and Rin that concerns Gou, Sousuke would not put their friendship in jeopardy. So if there was ever a way that Sousuke’s repressed feelings for Gou could surface, it would be if Gou initiates.

Gou’s Feelings

If you read through this entire damn thesis so far I think you could see that Gou’s feelings for Sousuke is a lot more overt. She is so incredibly fond of Sousuke and it is just the way she behaves around him, speaks to him and looks at him. It sends a different vibe comparatively to when she interacts with any of the other male characters. Because Gou is a side character, as viewers we don’t get to see much of her, her development or her thoughts and feelings, especially in relation to Sousuke. 

Concluding Thoughts

What an incredibly long post. I didn’t realise how long it was until I scrolled back up. But really, this was so fun to write. I enjoy writing about side characters and the little hints that anime and manga give us as viewers. This is the best thing about storytelling, that is so much more than what you see before you.

The great thing about SouGou is the incredibly compatibility they have with each other. They have a lot of the common tropes found in anime that sets them up for a future pairing. I mean,, Free is not a romance genre so there wouldn’t be any emphasis placed on how one character feels about another in a romantic sense. So the anime has placed some gentle teasing in the background with its frame (usually what you see in shojo manga for example), official artworks, and CD dramas. It’s a very subtle undertone that the viewers would have to dig through and pick up out of the mass of fanservice and the storylines of the main characters. Yet this is the reason why I love KyoAni because of its numerous layers of stories and undertone!

In my opinion, if there was ever any pairing that comes out of Free, it would definitely be SouGou - it’s because the way the anime (and probably the light novel as well) set them up and emphasised on important aspects of their relationship without going into detail about it.

I gotta say, the reason why I love these two so much is because they remind me so much of TsukiYachi pairing from Haikyuu. There are parallels between the characters and I think I just enjoy shipping ones with that level of complexity and compatibility - the whole opposites attract kinda thing (and the height difference).

So what do you think? Are there any SouGou stans out there left? I’m keen to see what the 2021 Free movie will entail for these two and the potential release of Season 4 (most likely in 2022).

Fingers crossed for some excitement!

Also...I had to crop this <3

#can i get my phd in sougou yet? #i think i deserve one #gah so many spelling mistakes and errors i cbf fixing them #i was half excited and half asleep when i wrote this in the middle of the night loool #no really this was so fun to write #i'm procrastinating way too much #but now i have it all down and out of my head it's nice to see it all in one big post #and i just realise these two really have potential for a future pairing #AND IMAGINE IF THEY GOT MARRIED #sousuke and rin would go from best friends to brothers #my heart #MY HEARRRRRTTTT #btw are there any sougou shippers still out there? #please come back #entertain me lmao #sougou #sousuke x gou #yamazaki sousuke #matsuoka gou #free! iwatobi swim club #free! eternal summer #free! dive to the future #free