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lakesbian · 11 months

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alec's specific brand of trauma is Really Something because it's like. having a father who only interacted with him to scare the piss out of him for any perceived slight and/or with the explicit intent of psychologically breaking him: pretty bad. being groomed into hypersexuality & child prostituted: also pretty bad for his mental wellbeing. but being forced to torture and/or murder people, being coerced into a state where he's capable of unflinchingly raping people before he's thirteen--being groomed into becoming his father--is like. a Very Specific Level Of Issue. systematic stripping of not only physical and sexual autonomy but ethical autonomy, being turned into nothing but an extension of the violence enacted by the person he hates most. full ownership over his body and mind.

like, when you're 12 and shooting someone because daddy said if you don't he's going to shoot you, you do the action first, you alter your mind to be Okay With It afterwards--because if you're not okay with it you're going to break--and then there's nothing of you left because it's all been taken away or changed so you could survive. just sort of utter nothing-matters nihilism by age 13 because he wasn't allowed to have anything for himself, not even the most basic moral compass, not even the ability to walk away and tell anyone about what happened to him without being seen as rotten himself, an abuser first and a victim second. no one will ever talk about what happened to alec without the caveat of "but." the caveat of "he was just a kid, but he still..." he doesn't get to show himself to anyone without the awareness that he's going to be seen as some form of fundamentally bad just by virtue of being a vasil, of having done the things that vasils do.

literally no wonder one of the only times he's ever even remotely visibly upset by something is when taylor--literally one of the only people he has in life, part of the closest thing he has to a family--insinuates he might want to turn out like his father, when the most core aspect of his trauma is not what was done to him but what he was turned into. if there's one thing that can upset him, it's the idea that he's still seen as that 13yo kid who was more of heartbreaker's weapon than he was a person, or that he's seen as wanting to be that way. he spends the first 13 years of his life having any attempt at establishing any form of his own identity razed down before it can even begin--as of story start, he's had all of 2 1/2 years to become his own person, because everything before that belonged solely to his father. so he is sort of ridiculously well-adjusted given the circumstances. but awful by any other metric--and there's the caveat, of course, the But, because the ability to make decisions that don't result in people saying But was very intentionally taken from him.

and when he does finally find something (someone) to care about, when he reclaims the ability to have his own strong emotions and desires and moral compass, he cares about it so much he dies for it. he's been waiting his entire life to have something he's allowed to care about and when he finally gets it, when he finally has that autonomy, he chooses to do the most unselfish possible thing with it. it's a single moment of refutation against everything he was molded to be--everything he still doesn't know how not to be, sometimes--where he realizes that, fuck it, he just wants to do something good for what he cares about. wants it more than he wants anything else on the planet, more than a million dollars or any amount of fame. he's finally in control of his body and his mind and his feelings, after 13 years of being a marionette and 2 years of slowly learning how to cut off the strings, and he decides that what he wants, now that what he wants actually matters, is to give all of himself to doing something good because he cares. in the end, he finally got to define himself by what he wanted to be instead of what he was made to be, and what he wanted to be was a good friend.

it's a good character arc okay. i like it.

#parahumans #alec essays #alec vasil #i'm the world's no 1 alec vasil fan <- self-own #give him a nice cold soda pleas.e he deserves it #scarf don't look #worm spoilers #under my breath. would be nice if wildbow didnt fuck up brians character arc so i could enter a fugue state summarizing it too #anyway yeah i dont think ive actually made a post Specifically about why the alec death is excellent 4 his arc. this is my thesis defending #the alec death

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clockworkdrop · 1 year

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my headcanons on kankri's celibacy:

okay, so we know that karkat has issues with the fact that he is not compatible with the quadrant system and early on he thinks he's broken because of it and compares himself to a joke character in a romcom and tries to find loopholes that can make it so he's getting what he wants while still technically following the rules.

i like to think at some point kankri started to recognize the fact that he wasn't compatible with the quadrant system either. he literally tells latula that if they entered a relationship he thinks they would have similar vacillation issues that karkat and terezi had.

now, kankri doesn't view himself as broken. he is a troll lgbt+ ally. he asks karkat if he identifies as any of several microlabels, so he knows there are other options. i think his issue has more to do with how others would perceive him.

one thing you need to understand about kankri is that his whole deal is appealing to highblood standards in order to have a higher chance of being listened to about the issues with beforus. beforus has a system where anyone who would've been culled on alterina is instead placed into the home of a highblood who would look after them, stripping them of any autonomy. he's trying to show them that lowbloods, mutants, disabled trolls, and anyone else who would be culled are capable and do not need to rely on others.

so, i think kankri couldn't deal with having any additional marks against him. he is already going to have a hard enough time finding people who will listen to someone who is off-spec, if he's also queer, or has a disability (i also interpret him as undiagnosed autistic) that'll just make it even harder.

instead of dealing with that and accepting that part of himself, he just tells everyone he's going to be celibate now. he tells people he has "romantic privilege," so clearly he's not hiding anything about his ability to follow quadrants, why would you think that? don't question why a non-religious teenager would choose to be celibate. it's fine, he's normal and fits all the social standards.

i also think he had other reasons to choose to be celibate, it's kind of a big combination of things. he didn't want to be dependent on someone else, which is necessary in any relationship. i hc him as touch sensitive and he gets flames in his eyes when porrim tries to wipe his face, so he likely wouldn't want to be in more situations where that would come up. you could also claim if beforus has the drones show up with pails, he wouldn't want to participate in that system because he finds some issue with it. lastly, he probably also decided it could be beneficial to not add to the drama going on in their session by opting out of it.

and then he spent years convincing himself that was a morally good choice and made him better than others.

#kankri vantas #homestuck #hs meta #been thinking about him a lot since im writing an au centered on the dancestors #also the celibacy is all quads it has to be he would hate having a moirail so much okay

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rosebuddnd · 11 days

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my players are geniuses at designing characters and inspire me to be a better dnd player

A friend of mine did an excellent analysis of our pcs from the DnD game they run, and it inspired me to do the same with the pcs in my games. I run two right now, so lets start with the campaign we commonly refer to as “The Horrors”

For background, the campaign started out as a standard Curse of Strahd game, but took an INSANE turn when one player made a warlock pact with Strahd, eventually aiding in events that would cause an entire city to be destroyed and another pc killed and turned into a dhampir. Speaking of that dhampir, lets start with him

Poor. Fucking. Kiriko.

Already reeling from the death of his father, Kiriko was pulled into Barovia along with the rest of the party. After another pc, Dench, made a pact with Strahd, he was killed by the Count and transformed into a dhampir (a lesser vampire essentially). In this rebirth as something horrific, he was stripped of his autonomy in such a fundamental way that its debatable if calling him a human anymore is entirely accurate. On top of being forcibly changed into something he never wanted to be, a hunger grew within him. This hunger only got worse, but Kiriko’s moral compass wouldn’t allow him to kill and feed upon blood like a typical vampire would. His body, blood-starved, started acting against his will.

His autonomy was so irrevocably taken from him that his own body challenges his commands. People offer him ways to quell this hunger ethically, but will it ever bring his autonomy back? If he stopped feeding, his body would take over again. He doesn’t gain any autonomy from finding an ethical way to quell his hunger; he still has to do something he doesn’t want to do so that his body doesn’t force him to do something morally horrifying.

On top of his humanity and bodily autonomy being ripped from him, he was thrust into a position of leadership by the people he depends on the most. After two of his closest allies (the other two pcs) died in combat, everyone started to look towards him for leadership. Fuck his personal issues, am I right? Now he has to worry about EVERYONE’S issues. From this position of leadership, he has been made to do a number of things, including being forced to share his trauma in front of essentially the NATO of this world in order to convince them to band together to defeat Strahd and the beings who control him (long story). And when he needed the people around him most for support, many of them started to vanish. His father figure tried to walk out the second his hidden identity was discovered, one of his longest-standing allies was kidnapped by Strahd and is currently being held as a bargaining piece, and the sister of the guy in captivity threatening to confront Strahd BY HERSELF to get her brother back. On top of all of this, his boyfriend has the AUDACITY to complain to him that Kiriko has been stripping some of his autonomy away from him. Like fucking read the room RJ.

Yet, despite all the loss of autonomy and the unnamable horrors he’s been forced to endure, Kiriko keeps going. He’s the only surviving pc from the original party, he’s gained the courage to stand up against Strahd and boldly make a deal to save the life of his friend, and he *has* lead his people successfully in defending the Material Plane from eldritch attacks. He keeps pushing, in many ways he has to. He’s running from everything that made him this way, all of the trauma he’s had to endure, hoping that on the other side he’ll find the respite and autonomy that he’s been so inextricably denied. And this running isn’t the cowardly type of running that’s typically meant when someone says a person is running from their problems. Its by nature courageous, he’s pushing ahead despite everything chasing him and trying to pull him down (one time literally into Hell). And in this effort, he keeps growing. Becoming more courageous, carving out what little bits of autonomy he can from the situation he’s been forced into, becoming stronger and more admirable. Becoming strong like his father.

The other analyses will probably be shorter, just because these are the second pcs these players have had to play, after I killed their original characters in a combat they could never win (I thought they would run ToT)

#kiriko you break my fucking heart

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fangirlovestuff · 6 months

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“Free Palestine from Hamas” but not from the literal oppressive occupation of Israel THATS what you’re saying ?

Millions of Israelis on video saying they hope ppl are killed, raped, etc. laughing at victims. Constant bombing to “find Hamas” and they’re magically never there. Hospitals, homes, entire BLOODLINES. Telling them to “flee” from THEIR homes and bombing them in the way. Running over dead bodies a a a joke, using Palestinian skin for Israeli surgeries. a family from Brooklyn thst has never stepped foot in Israel can go to Israel and push Palestinians out and act like they deserve to live there and belong there. Saying they can’t wait for Palestine to be flattened.

That’s sick. And not addressing their violent occupation and power is also sick.

since you're bothered by issues that aren't being addressed, I'm gonna go slow and make sure I address everything you just said.

firstly, "the oppressive occupation of Israel", as you put it. I think there are kind of two issues to be discussed here - the state of Israel, which some people are calling to destroy because we're "settlers", and the grounds existing today that belong to Palestinians already and have varying degrees of Israeli presence.

now I don't know how much you hate Israelis and want us all to die, but I'll start with the latter, specifically the Gaza Strip because I assume that's what you're talking about. apart from a few (I believe 3) instances of Israel fighting with the Hamas, no Israeli, including the IDF, has been in the Gaza strip until the events that followed October 7th. in 2005, the Israeli government made a decision to disengage from Gaza, forcing Jewish Israeli families out of their homes so the Palestinians can have Gaza to themselves, in hopes this would promote peace in giving them autonomy.

It didn't. the acts of terror against us continued, especially when Hamas started to rule the Gaza strip. because Hamas is a terrorist organization.

as for the rest of Israel, there are more lands and cities that are Palestinian, and they operate with minimal Israeli involvement to try and keep everyone safe.

and if you think the existence of Israel is oppressive occupation, I urge you to look at our history. on November 29th, 1947, the UN made a decision and wanted to implement a two-state solution. the Palestinians didn't agree to this and started violently attacking the Jews, trying to banish them from their homes here. thus started a nearly two-year war that, eventually, we won and Israel was born. naturally, a lot of Palestinians didn't want to live here, so they left, during the war and after it. we aren't seeking to oppress anyone or banish them, we're fighting for our home.

now to your next point about "Millions of Israelis on video saying they hope ppl are killed, raped, etc. laughing at victims", and what you add later on: "Saying they can’t wait for Palestine to be flattened."

I don't think there are millions of us saying this, but that's just nitpicking and I know that. I also know that this attitude is indeed terrible, and I would like to offer not a defense of it, but an explanation.

these are people who have lost the people nearest and dearest to them, and they want to urge to avenge them in this way. not just people who've lost loved ones now, but also in the many acts of terror and violence Hamas carried out over the years. it is a cry of pain and frustration that's been building for years, and still a horrifying one indeed.

you might notice that also sounds similar to what Palestinians are depicting they feel right now. that after years of loss, they want payback.

just like i don't think this argument justifies the killings of October 7th, i don't think it would justify it if it was the opposite way around, and so do many other Israelis. most of us want peace, we want the deaths and the violence to stop, and we know calling out for more unnecessary violence against civilians is not the answer. but for some, these horrible "jokes" are a way of mourning.

"Constant bombing to “find Hamas” and they’re magically never there. Hospitals, homes, entire BLOODLINES. Telling them to “flee” from THEIR homes and bombing them in the way."

i have a few things to say about this point. first of all, they're not "magically" never there, they're never there because the IDF usually warns before it bombs, to try to prevent the murder of innocents.

and why would innocents be where Hamas is? why would the IDF need to bomb places where there are innocent civilians, hospitals and homes as you've said? great questions! ask Hamas why they're building rocket launchers in hospitals, and assembling their ammunition next to classrooms. why they enter whatever home they want and stash their ammunition there. (it's because they don't care about their civilians, and are using them as human shields, so they can do exactly that - call Israel evil and immoral when they attack homes and hospitals, failing to mention this is where Hamas operates from.)

and telling them to flee is our way to avoid as many needless deaths as we can when we're trying to destroy Hamas (the terrorist organization operating against us for years, where we reach ceasefires again and again and they are repeatedly broken, mostly by Hamas, most recently on October 7th with truly terrible acts of terror and violence).

about the bombing of them when they flee, I actually heard that Hamas is behind that one, so they can tell people it was Israel AND so they'll have human shields left in the parts they're fighting from. but even if the bombings were Israeli, there's NO WAY they were purposefully fired at fleeing civilians. there would be no point in telling them all to run and THEN bomb them. if we didn't care about their lives, wouldn't we just not tell them to run?

"Running over dead bodies a a a joke, using Palestinian skin for Israeli surgeries." - i genuinely haven't heard about what you're referring to, so i can't really respond to that. if you want to send me a source, you're welcome to.

"a family from Brooklyn thst has never stepped foot in Israel can go to Israel and push Palestinians out and act like they deserve to live there and belong there." - I assume you're referring to the Law of Return, that gives Jews the right to relocate to Israel and gain citizenship. so just to be clear, it's not "any family from Brooklyn that never stepped foot in Israel", it's Jewish families specifically.

I don't really understand what makes you think that includes pushing Palestinians out? I assure you, no Jewish person is going around Palestinian neighborhoods "house hunting" and just kicking out whoever's house they like best, because that's frankly ridiculous. so I don't really get what you meant by that.

and when you say "act like" they deserve to live here and belong here, I don't get what you mean by that either. because they do.

Jews come from Judea. this is our homeland. we've historically lived here centuries ago. even Jesus, you know that guy? lived here too? yeah, he was Jewish.

the Jews were banished from Israel a few times, so there were Jews all over the world - in places like Poland and Germany and places like Morocco and Iraq. and there were still Jews in Israel as well.

After the events of the Holocaust, in which the Jewish people were hunted down by Nazis and systematically murdered in camps just for being Jewish, they realized they can't keep living all over the world. because it wasn't just the Nazis, it was everyone hunting them down. their community, their neighbors, were in many cases the ones who turned them over, helping the Nazis send entire bloodlines to die in gas chambers.

so we needed a safe place to go. the Jewish people had to come back to our homeland. and we deserve this one country to be ours. that doesn't mean kicking out Palestinians. that just means we want one place in the world where Jews can live safely. so it does mean dismantling terrorist organizations who seek to slaughter us.

"That’s sick. And not addressing their violent occupation and power is also sick." - war is never a good thing. no war is a hundred percent good. but i hope i managed to explain to you why this war against Hamas is happening, and why this isn't the violent occupation power struggle you've been told it is. I hope this whole thing ends soon, with as little loss as possible, and we can find a way to coexist in peace, and i'm not the only one in Israel who thinks this way.

#israel palestine conflict #israel #free palestine from hamas #tw terrorism

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aemiron-main · 2 years

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"scenario where person A is suffering from an ED and their partner lovingly nudges them into getting better on their own terms, the healthiest way relationships can play into existing EDs and clearly coming from a place of experience, since the cliche of "person B forces person A to eat and now their ED is better :)" was intentionally avoided"

someone who I assume got offended before they finished reading the post?: "this is romanticizing EDs, they're bad and you shouldn't make them look cute"

like, I'm sorry, but were we all reading the same post? because where the hell is the romanticisation? I can't find it

THANK YOU, ANON!!! IM GLAD YOU UNDERSTAND!!! Because i really wanted to empathize that people NEED to approach these things on their own terms-i was terrified of people forcing me into food related things partially due to my issues but also partially due to the fact that i wanted to recover and KNEW that if i was constantly stripped of my autonomy, that i would never recover because the panic and need for control would continue to kick in. Like does that anon think that we just shouldn't talk about these things?? That we shouldn't talk about how recovery isn't just a straight path, and that it can look different for everyone depending on their circumstances?? Does anon think that we shouldn't acknowledge the reality of mike having the deck for recovery/being taken seriously with an ED stacked against him as a man in the 80s and therefore his recovery process would very likely look different than someone today (and it also MAY NOT look different because my PERSONAL experience is very similar to what i described in that headcanon, but both my experience and my headcanon seem to differ from op anon's experience/pretenses about recovery) Enforcing the idea that recovery can only happen in one way and has to happen all at once and can't happen with the help of others is a sure-fire way to scare people away from recovery. and YEP i think they either didn't read the post, or didn't understand it/didn't want to understand before getting upset. literally, imo, the only thing "cute" about that post is the recovery part- the "helping someone you love in a way that actually works rather than the cliche 'forcing them to eat and fixing them with the magic of love tm'". there's nothing romantic about mike's ed. and imo we SHOULD romanticize getting help, we SHOULD romanticize recovery, we SHOULD!! getting help and leaning on others and recovering is literally so cool and awesome and romantic and great and is way cooler than continuing to feed into the isolation and self-loathing that fuels EDs.

LMAO i appreciate that a ton, because when i saw that anon, i did sit myself down and make myself look critically at the post because i was SO worried that i hadn't phrased things the way i had wanted to + had fallen into romanticization/a disordered mindset instead. I think that people like that original anon need to understand that recovery doesn't look the same for everyone, ESPECIALLY a dude in the 80s like mike, who doesn't have access to the same levels of awareness that we have now.

#stranger things #ST asks #tw ed #tw eating issues

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voidstain · 2 years

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Proper Pinned Post

Anonymous blog that started as a writing blog. Now it's a bit of a mishmash. Self expression, often unedited and done on mobile. Maybe discourse, maybe rambly posts, who really knows.

Quick rundown: Pro-ship, pro-endogenic systems, pro-kink, pro-sex work, pro being radically inclusive generally. Disabled (physically and mentally, though the distinction is not one we feel needs to be made), queer, tired. 25+ body. We block liberally but do try to be understanding and own up to mistakes.

Feel free to block for any reason. We try to respect DNIs, if they exist/are accessible for us, but don't really think stating one ourselves is worth it. If you want to interact, you will, a DNI isn't going to do much to stop people. If you don't want to interact because of our stances, you aren't going to anyway.

Info on us and what you may expect to find on this blog below the cut.

We are a plural system that prefers using headmate/fictive terms over parts/alters/introjects. Voices will not be given names, and are numbered in order of choosing to use this blog, not by how many are actually here.

Currently:

Voice 1 (They/It)

Voice 2 (She/Her)

Voice 3 (They/It)

Voice: undisclosed (could be anyone, or a mix! Not necessarily a voice given a number.)

Voice 4 (They/Them)

Voice 5 (He/Him, & any)

Topics you may find:

Queer themes

Neurodiverse themes (Autism, ADHD, plurality, trauma, & more)

Cripplepunk/Madpunk/Punk in general

The woes of chronic pain

Lots of identity stuff

Self harm/Suicide/Death

Religious trauma

Unreality/Things of an otherworldly nature as if literal and as if really had happened

Dealing with reality, usually with hopepunk, but like, yikes

Fandomish stuff, maybe. Headmates/fictives being vague probably.

& more!

Any identifying info is not happening. If you think you know us no you don't. NDA this shit. Redirect your brain cells away from suspicion. If you browse thats fine but leave no trace, nature trail visit this place. Coincidences are just that, not even correlation. Or else.

(We'd probably just be embarrassed about being Known(tm) and kinda upset about some stuff being seen thats private but pretend I have a gun for the meme)

Thanks for coming to our ted talk, except psych, bonus ted talk of thoughts will be randomly added below

Anti-psychiatry. Yes we have a psychologist headmate, yes we are in therapy with a therapist who knows about us. Tear down the medical field and rebuild it brick by fucking brick without any brick not being seen to by someone it impacts. No one should be forced to have medical choices and bodily autonomy stripped like that.

As such, obviously, pro self-dx, because dx labels are like. a horrible mess. Half of it is different brands of slightly varied symptoms lining stuff up to see which eye glass you see through best at the eye doctor. Whatever's comfy yall. It's like trauma all the way down anyway. Yes for like, almost everything. Even the biological stuff is exacerbated by trauma. Life in our society is inherently traumatizing for 99.9% of people.

So like. Drugs. Relatedly. Addiction is a societal problem. Free supervised substance use sites is a public health issue. Stop jailing people (disproportionately BIPOC who are often then exploited as prison labor) for drugs. Stop villainizing them. Addicts should be supported, and you know what? If someone wants to do drugs sometimes, let em. They aren't a crime that forever marrs your immortal soul or some shit.

Opiod crisis. Pain relief seeking behavior being classified as drug seeking is costing lives, just give them the prescription. Also on this topic free healthcare. Abortion is an inherent right to bodily autonomy. Let someone trans their gender as much as they please so long as consent is informed. Also palliative care over life-prolonging care any day if the person wishes. Also physician's assisted suicide.

For the love of the vast void or whatever you believe in stop letting cops kill people. Stop letting cops. That's it end of sentence. Redirect funds to better serve the community. Cheer when the station goes up in flames. Also just because you're European doesn't mean you're free of the racism of the US.

More to be added when we feel like it. Also posts may get made abt these separately

#about #about us #about post #info

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the-entire-cast-needs-therapy · 2 years

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the entire cast needs therapy? give me a list of reasons why.

Jesus Christ where do I even start.

Alright so: as a baseline, everyone in the cast has been on a planet at war with itself since they were born, and eventually gets involved in said war. This is not good for anyone's mental health. In more specific terms:

The parts of Etheria aligned with the Rebellion are constantly under attack, which means nobody, fighter or civilian, is having a good time. Thaymore specifically takes a lot of shit. The Princesses are in slightly less constant danger, but it’s their responsibility to protect the people who are, which leads to a different- but still damaging- kind of stress.

(Mermista and Perfuma are both teens [or VERY young adults] who have been put in charge of a kingdom, and Glimmer joins that particular club in season four. This goes double for Frosta, who is a literal middle-schooler.)

The people in the Fright Zone have even more shit to deal with on a personal level, since not only are they constantly at war, they’re a society built around war that values strength above all else and discourages all forms of vulnerability- this culture of shame about being hurt is probably a big factor in why abusive people (some of whom probably helped create that atmosphere in the first place) stay in positions of power: nobody wants to admit weakness by reporting them.

The Galactic Horde isn’t off the hook either- if anything, the people involved in that nightmare have it worse, with a leader who strips them of their identity and freedom and also literally takes their bodily autonomy away from them at random. And they’ve been brainwashed into liking it. And even if anybody wanted to report Prime for anything from the general rapey vibes to the brain invasion, there’s nobody to report it to and no way out.

On the opposite end of the spectrum you have the Crimson Waste. If Prime’s empire is the pinnacle of abusive order, the Crimson Waste is terrifying, constant chaos. It’s a never-ending free-for-all between gangs, set on a backdrop of sand, cacti that can do everything from normal cacti stuff to turning something into a statue, and giant three-headed snakes. An environment this dangerous this consistently is going to have everyone in it on survival mode all the time, which is not good for a person.

To be even more specific, the Best Friends Squad is Dysfunction Junction at its finest.

Glimmer is, as of right now, half an orphan and spent a good season thinking she was a whole orphan. She has, as Netossa puts it, “crippling self-doubt mixed with overwhelming hubris”. She’s got a complex about people taking her seriously, grief over Angella, a sense of not being good enough compared to Angella. Plus she spent some amount of time on the same ship as Prime The Literal Worst, which should be counted as a traumatic experience on its own.

Bow... well, Bow has Seen Some Shit by the end of the series (they all have), but the thing that comes to mind for him specifically is his need to always be the mediator- to be the one thing tying the Best Friends Squad together. Also, he’s terrified of his parents finding out who he really is- George and Lance are very sweet and supportive but the fact that Bow felt the need to hide such a huge part of his identity from them is... concerning, even if it was just the product of a misunderstanding. My guess is, he’s got some sort of anxiety that makes him anticipate the worst from the people who love him.

We could write a book on everything that’s wrong with Adora, but we all know the basics. Lack of a sense of self, hero complex, guilt complex, control freak, constantly having something expected of her, etc. She thinks she’s worthless unless she’s powerful and useful, and she’s got that classic Fright Zone Vulnerability-Related-Shame.

Catra, similarly, has a laundry list of issues. To grossly oversimplify: Extreme external locus of control (Never My Fault in Tv Tropes language), suicidal tendencies, homicidal tendencies, self-loathing, trauma from Prime’s Rape Metaphor Chip, and of course: Fright Zone Vulnerability-Related Shame.

I’m sure there’s more, but that’s the basic rundown. All in all, they’re a mess. Every character. Every single character has perfectly good reasons to be a mess, even the ones that don’t have that trauma explicitly depicted.

#she ra and the princesses of power #she ra #spop #glimmer #bow #adora #catra #rape mention #tw rape

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offbeatcappuccino · 3 years

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Love Alarm Season 2: In Defense of Hye Yeong (written by a Sun Oh stan)

Warning: This analysis contains spoilers. Read at your own risk!

I binge-watched two seasons of Love Alarm in two days and I have some thoughts on the Kim Jojo- Hye Yeong ship. I genuinely hate watching k-dramas that involve the audience having to do deal with not only the relationship between the female and male lead, but also the relationship between her and an equally if not more swoon-worthy second male lead. I had a brief encounter with Love Alarm Season 1 two years ago before I decided against finishing the season because I discovered that it ends on a cliffhanger. Like many fans of the show, from the first three episodes, I strongly believed that Sun-Oh and Jojo would end up together. They both had difficult childhoods and parents and with Jojo enabling the shield, their breakup seemed temporary and that they would get back together once Jojo figures out how to disable the shield and realizes the she was never happy without Sun Oh. Therefore, I found it surprising to find the creators of the show positing a Jojo-Hye Yeong pairing. By doing so, they not only broke Sun Oh's heart but also millions of fans worldwide. However, upon deeper reflection, I think I can understand why a Hye-Yeong-Jojo pairing was the most probable all along and is necessary for the premise of the show to succeed.

Love Alarm is more than a rom-com about a bunch of teenagers overcoming adversity through love. Love Alarm offers its audience a nuanced critique of our dependency on technology and how such dependency makes us less intuitive about our feelings and needs. The best way to explain this in our current society is by quite literally focusing on the invention of the alarm. Before the alarm was invented, humans slept and rose based on our circadian rhythms and we instinctively woke up every day to carry out our various responsibilities. However, with the invention of the alarm clock, many of us are not able to wake up on time for anything without it. Try to sleep one day without setting your alarm and you'll find yourself waking up four hours later ( been there done that!). Similarly, in the world of Love Alarm, we see individuals overly reliant on the app to the point that it has dominated every single discourse being had in 2023. For instance, in the first scene of Season 2 Episode 1, we see a marriage ceremony that only concludes after the bride and groom ring each other's alarms and with the release of Love Alarm 2.0, people aren't even giving a chance to individuals, who don't show up on the list. The notion of blind trust in our relationships is completely thrown with Love Alarm when there is an app that is constantly verifying whether a person has feelings for you. This is detrimental because the success of true passionate love rests on the fact that we come to care for someone so deeply that we ultimately trust them to feel the same way about us, so we let them into the most intimate aspects of our lives.

This statement mentioned above is precisely why Sun Oh and Jojo were never endgame. Sun Oh and Jojo's relationship was only initiated because they rang each other's alarms and while they shared moments of happiness, their relationship was not founded on trust because both Sun Oh and Jojo lacked the intuition to see their relationship as something that transcends an app. Throughout Season 2, we see Sun Oh consistently warped in the technicalities of the app with his obsessive questioning of Jojo over the shield. While we see him question Jojo about why she can't ring his alarm, he can't seem to comprehend this idea that you don't need the alarm to be in a successful relationship even though he seems to be doing that quite wonderfully with Yok Joo. Yok Joo because someone that truly makes Sun Oh happy and remains a constant source of support that he can rely on. Likewise, we see Sun Oh prioritizing and caring for Yok Joo, signs that he is growing to love someone, but cannot accept it because he excepts the Alarm to tell him that he is in love.

Love rarely is an instantaneous experience, but rather something that develops over time, and Love Alarm completely strips this experience. In his decision to woo Jojo without the alarm, Hye Yeong embraces this idea successfully. He remains undeterred about the fact that Jojo can't ring his alarm and continues to spend meaningful time with her because being around her simply makes him feel happy and a part of him trusts the fact that Jojo feels the same way. Hye Yeong trusts his intuition more than he trusts an app. In doing so, he makes Jojo realize that she has to listen to herself rather than an app. Throughout her storyline, a common thread is the supposed lack of control that Jojo feels from her parents' death to her being left with no choice but to rely on her unkind aunt and cousin for support. In Jojo being able to finally make a choice in her life in choosing to love Hye Yong, she is arguably able to express autonomy over her life for the first time and she is not bound by her status as an economically struggling orphan in doing so.

Additionally, another reason why Jojo and Sun-Oh's relationship failed is that while the two may truly be in love, they were not in love with each other at the right time. When Jojo and Sun Oh were both dating each other, they were arguably at the lowest points in their life. Sun Oh was dealing with extremely abusive and negligent parents, while Jojo was still traumatized by the death of her parents and the bullying that she faced at the hands of her cousin and classmates. Throughout their relationship, Jojo was terrified at the prospect of Sun-Oh finding out about her background and was embarrassed by her socioeconomic status, which was what prompted her to download the shield in the first place. Jojo's period of However, by the time Hye Yeong pursues a relationship with Jojo, she is in a much better place. Not only does she feel more comfortable with Hye-Yeong because they had already seen each other at their all-time lows, but she's become more assertive, confident, and found some fame in her work as the artist of The Ringing World. She also has a best friend that understands and respects her boundaries. Loving someone but having to let them go because it simply wasn't the right time and place is all too common of an occurrence and the creators of the show challenge us to question the idea that we are only destined for one person our entire life. We can love many people throughout our life, but the ones who we grow to love when we love ourselves is where the key to long term commitment lies.

I know that many fans of the show are upset and I also have many issues with the writing and development of Sun Oh's character. Regardless, I also feel that Love Alarm challenges many of the expectations that arise from cliché k-drama tropes. There are so many things that I would change about the show, but I have grown to accept the fact that Sun Oh deserves better. But, I'm not sure if Jojo would have been the source of his happiness and I only wish that his ending didn't feel so incomplete and heartbreaking.

#love alarm 2 #love alarm s2 #love alarm #love alarm spoilers #song kang #kim so hyun #netflix #kdrama #jung ga ram #kim jojo #lee hye yeong #hwang sun oh #kim soo hyun

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alirhi · 3 years

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okay. let's do this shit.

Guess what, bitches? Mama bear's back and angry all over again. Remember when I said I might dive into a ragepost about how Bucky's treated after completing the one about Loki? This is it. This is the post. Welcome to fucking Thunderdome.

I will actually try to keep it civil. No promises, but I'll try. and I will not be accepting "constructive criticism" about my rage. Just so we're clear.

Got it? Good. Let's dive in.

In case you don't want to read the whole thing (I know I get wordy) here's what this whole post will boil down to: BUCKY NEVER HAD A FUCKING CHOICE. NEVER. NOT ONCE IN HIS ENTIRE ADULT LIFE.

Now, quick reminder: I don't read comics. I know nothing about Bucky's comic canon, except what Sebastian liked to bring up as often as possible during TWS/CW promotions: at some point, Bucky boned Nat. XD Since Bucky only exists as a Marvel property, I won't be bitching about other source material being disrespected like I did with Loki. This is all MCU, my dudes. And honestly? That's enough, because though we don't see nearly enough of Bucky for my liking, we do manage to get a rich, deep backstory to him in the material we're given, partly thanks to better writing in the early days of the MCU, and partly thanks to Sebastian Stan's phenomenal acting. Unlike the writers of the Loki series, Seb knows how to show, not tell. And gods, what stories those eyes show...

Let's start with the army. In an old post illustrating what an absolute BAMF Bucky Barnes truly is, I mistakenly said he enlisted, and a kind soul educated me on the incredible attention to detail Marvel used to pay - in this case, Bucky's ID number. 32557038. As this kind, eagle-eyed soul pointed out to me, the first two digits of that number - 32 - signify that Bucky was drafted, specifically from the NY, NJ, DE area (that last part is rather obvious, as Bucky and Steve are from Brooklyn lol). Bucky didn't choose to go to war. He was drafted. He was forced to fight, or go to prison.

Bucky was born in 1917, which means - again, as someone pointed out to me a while back - he came of age during the Great Depression. As a child, he would likely have seen his parents living comfortably and able to shower each other and him and his sister with gifts and fun memories, and then POOF. Stock market crashes when he's only 12-years-old, and life becomes brutal and painful. He manages to have some fun with his best friend Steve, and spends his teens/early 20s chasing girls and keeping his stupid, stubborn, tiny friend from getting beaten to death.

Steve constantly has something to prove. He's absolutely got what my mom always called "little man's disease", and Bucky's just doing his best not to roll his eyes too much at this asthmatic chihuahua constantly trying to beat up Tibetan mastiffs. While Steve keeps lying on his enlistment forms (an actual crime) trying again and again to get into the army and prove what a badass he is (definitely not), Bucky's had enough trauma and upheaval in his life and he just wants his stupid friend to calm tf down and live. Enjoy the fact that he doesn't have to go to war and get his limbs blown off.

And then he gets fucking drafted. This sweet, resigned realist who knows exactly how dangerous the war really is, is forced to put on a uniform and go fight strangers alongside other strangers thousands of miles from everything he knows. And on his last night of freedom, when he just wants to hang out with his friend, see some cool gadgets, and dance with a pretty girl, his stupid angry chihuahua friend feels the need to lie and try to enlist again.

Okay. Gotta get back on track. Ragepost about mistreatment of Bucky, not how much Steve annoys me. Sorry. Anyway...

Bucky's drafted, accepts his shitty lot with a brave smile, and is shipped off to Europe, where he is captured by HYDRA and presumed by the Allies to be KIA. Instead, he's strapped down, tortured, and given the HYDRA version of the super serum against his will. Steve rescues him, and Bucky knows he can't leave his idiot friend to his own devices to get his head blown off, so he dives right back into the fray. And then he falls off a cliff, loses most of his left arm, and is declared dead...again. This one's pretty damn valid, though lol. Without the serum no one knew he'd been shot up with, there is no way he would have survived that fall.

Here is where Bucky's story gets truly heartbreaking: His autonomy, his ability to consent is stripped from him through electroshock torture/brainwashing. The trigger words are conditioned into him during this process, and boom. Ten words in Russian, and Bucky Barnes is gone. Even the confused, hurting shadow of him is gone, leaving only a perfectly obedient killing machine, with Bucky's pretty face. He's strong as all hell, though, so they can't keep him fully under their control for long, not without more torture, when the disorientation of being fucking frozen wears off on longer missions.

I cannot stress this point enough, guys: Bucky. Had. No. Choice. Not like the draft, where his choices (go and get shot at, refuse and go to jail, or dodge and run to Canada) just suck. No, he literally didn't have a choice. He had his ability to choose stripped from him. If that's too complex a concept to really sink in, try this: His brain was fucking raped. Repeatedly. For decades. Nothing the Winter Soldier ever did was Bucky's fault. Nothing. Ever. Not remotely, no matter how you fucking slice it. Bucky is not an assassin. I almost said "not a killer", but he was a soldier, and a sharpshooter. He definitely killed when he was himself, but that was in a war, not a series of assassinations.

So far, imo, so good. This is just a rundown of Bucky's pre-show backstory. I don't love what he had to suffer, but I do love how it was treated in the movies. People were afraid of him, but when they knew the whole situation, Steve, Nat, and Sam rallied behind him. Natasha had plenty of reason to want the Winter Soldier dead; he'd tried to kill her multiple times and almost succeeded. Sam had no reason to help Bucky at all; he didn't know him, didn't trust him, and again, TWS had tried to kill him. But he stood by Steve, and when Bucky showed the clear difference between himself and TWS, Sam stood by him, too, and fought alongside him.

And it's very realistic, imo, that Tony didn't give a single fuck that Bucky had no choice. He watched this man murder both of his parents on tape. If TWS had killed my dad and I saw proof of it, I'd try to kill Bucky, too. Grief wins out over logic. Most emotions usually do. And that's a very important point we're going to come back to in a few minutes.

Bucky was really only in like ten minutes at most of IW and Endgame, and for multiple reasons I hate those movies, so I'm just gonna skip them, kay? Kay. On to the main event!

Here's where I get pissed off. Even if I didn't have an unhealthy attachment to this character, or the depth of appreciation for his tragic backstory that I do, the lack of continuity between the movies and the show alone would still piss me off. It always does. Don't even get me started on Joss "Continuity? What continuity?" Whedon and his (iconic, but flawed) shows. Ahem. Back on track...

Let me just get one little thing out of the way real quick: I fucking LOVE The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I love it. This show amazed me when I first watched it, and I still love it after many more viewings lol. I have only ever watched it all the way through without skipping over as much John Walker shit as possible the one time lol but I love how Sam and Bucky interact, and I fucking adore how Sam's arc was treated. I just wish they'd show the same care and attention to Bucky.

Because what they did to Bucky in this show is a fucking travesty. There was a tiny ray of hope in the pilot, when he called out Dr. Bitchface for being a terrible shrink. I thought that would be the start of him realizing he needed to find someone else and ignore the damaging shit that woman was telling him. But...nope. No such luck.

The show really had a strong start, I'll give it that. We see Bucky having nightmares of his time as TWS and struggling to hide how his traumatic memories are affecting him as he tries to live in the world again. He befriends the father of one of HYDRA's victims, which can't be good for Bucky (and we're shown it's definitely not when he sees the shrine in Yori's home to his late son) but it's sweet, how he's trying to connect and reach out to someone who's hurting and lonely.

They drop the ball a little with the whole... Bucky can hack a fucking car, but can't figure out Tinder thing. Had they just run with the fandom interpretation of the tiger photos line, that it shows that Bucky is bi and left it at that, I'd have been okay with it (and no, that is not because I ship Sam/Bucky. it's because Bucky is and always has been a certified nerd who loves technology and has consistently shown very little issue learning to use new gadgets). The outdated flip phone he handed his terrible court-mandated shrink was a burner; I liked that theory when I read it, especially since it's the only time we see him even holding a phone that old lol. This all could have fit the "Bucky is a sassy bisexual nerd" narrative and it'd be okay. Instead, the director was like "NOOOOOO that line was just to show how old he is and how he can't figure out all this newfangled technology!" Woman, you had him remotely driving someone else's vehicle with a tablet. That is NOT a man who can't figure out a damn smart phone!

But that's just a minor annoyance. What fills me with absolute rage is how everyone - not just the shitty therapist who lashes out at and purposely triggers her traumatized patients, but EVERYONE - Sam, Zemo, people who should fucking know better ALL treat him like he's a psychopath and a ticking time bomb. Like he chose to take the serum and he chose to kill for HYDRA, and he's just seen the error of his ways. *barf*

Bucky in the movies is established to be a victim, through and through. His guilt over what he was forced to do is natural, and that he sees himself as a monster makes sense... but that doesn't mean it's correct. The one and only thing I ever liked about Steve Rogers is at least he got it. He pointed out that none of it was Bucky's fault, he tried to show him that he was worth saving. That's the other reason I refuse to talk about Endgame. This post will get a WHOLE LOT LONGER and a lot fucking angrier if I open that door.

Zemo supposedly knows everything about HYDRA and super soldiers... So why does he treat Bucky like he's a corrupt serial killer? (this, for the record, is why I don't like Zemo) Why does he never point out that Bucky was given the serum against his will, or that his actions, when he had control of them, proved that he was never corrupted? Bucky never wanted to become superhuman. Bucky didn't even want to fucking fight!

Sam, despite constantly resisting the label, is shown very clearly to be Bucky's friend. By episode 3, he cares. He worries about how Bucky is getting lumped in with the other super soldiers in Zemo's speech... But he never really defends him. He says "what about Bucky?" but he doesn't point out that Bucky's a good man, he's fought so hard to help people, he does everything he can to avoid killing... And that fucking speech in episode 5. I was with him on "you gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." I was like "YEAH! Tell him, Sam! Bucky, you're WORTH SAVING, boo! Your value does not hinge on someone else's opinion of you!" And then... Sam dropped the ball.

He not only continued the disturbing pattern of victim-blaming in this show, and in Marvel/Disney properties in general, but he gave really dangerously bad advice! No one in their right mind, mental health professional or no, would EVER tell a traumatized former assassin (whether he was responsible for his actions or not) to go confront his victims' families out of the blue with no warning and no one to mediate and keep things from going to shit. Yori already knew his son had been murdered because he was in the "wrong place, wrong time." How is it being "of service" to tell him you're the one who killed him?! Remember how I said Tony's reaction to learning the full truth about his parents' deaths was valid and would be an important point later? Hi! Welcome to later. THAT is the natural reaction to facing the man who murdered your loved one(s). And even if Yori didn't get angry and lash out, HOW IS IT "HELPING" HIM OR BRINGING HIM "CLOSURE" TO KNOW THAT HIS FRIEND KILLED HIS FUCKING SON?!?!?! This man befriended him, bonded with him, watched him grieve... And now he's learning this is the man who caused all his pain and heartache to begin with? That is so toxic and psycho I just... I can't even... UGH.

And then there's the equally toxic and damaging "deeply traumatized person just needed a stern talking to and a hug to be ALL BETTER AGAIN" ending. I loved seeing Bucky happy and socializing, but it was too soon, and it was unearned. And it sends a fucking awful message to people actually struggling with PTSD, and to their loved ones who don't know how to help them. Heaping more blame on them and then hugging it out is NOT helpful!

This show could have been damn near perfect with just two changes. That's all. Just two. 1) Someone, anyone, bringing up the reasons why Bucky was never a villain in his presence. Someone being in his corner and reminding him, like Steve did, that it wasn't his fault and he's not going to "snap". 2) More time devoted to Bucky's healing. Actual fucking healing, not the shit they tried to pass off as a magic fix-all. He can have his happy barbecue moment, just don't frame it as "everything's great now!" Healing isn't linear, and there will be both good days and bad. Some of the most fragile people in the world have the brightest smiles.

If we get a season 2, which this amazing show absolutely deserves, and they address this stuff, all will be forgiven in my book. Expanding on his story and his journey toward healing will help to reframe that "happily ever after" garbage as something more realistic. But as it stands now... Fuck Marvel.

#fan rant #ragepost #long post #bucky barnes #mcu #captain america #the first avenger #the winter soldier #civil war #tfatws #mcu spoilers #stop victim blaming #victim not villain #never a fucking villain #bucky deserved better #fuck marvel #fuck disney

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flowerflamestars · 3 years

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Hey hey hey 😀 not sure if you've been getting my asks(could really be my WiFi too) or Tumblr has been up to no good again, but hey how was ACOSF? I gather from your updates and posts you're just disappointed by it. A lot of us are. Hope you've been doing well after reading Acosf 😅

Hey babe! I know I have at least one from you that I need to answer- entirely my bad, I’ve been going through my inbox in little chunks. Yall have been too lovely and the influx is great :)

Disappointment is very much the right word.

The big thing- ignoring that Nesta as a character was meaningful, or that the baby plot line was big swing in every wrong way possible, the plotting is a MESS- is that I think the story resoundingly fails on both it’s goals.

It’s a recovery story, a healing story. And a romance.

BIG SPOILERS AHEAD

Nesta is stripped of her autonomy. And I want to be extremely clear on that- this is framed as an intervention and it is not an intervention. It is not, at any point, really about Nesta becoming healthy. It’s about control. Rhys says it, Feyre says it, Cassian says it: Nesta is a problem. Nesta affects their reputation. Nesta needs to be punished.

Morrigan, a fellow abuse/assault survivor, tells Cassian with absolute seriousness that they should just throw Nesta into the Court of Nightmares and leave her there. Because she’s just as bad.

WHAT

The entire structure is that Nesta needs to change- but it isn’t about her being safer, her finding her way- it’s about the fact that her being suicidally depressed makes her sister sad.

So yeah, Nesta gets stronger. Because one of her two-pronged punishments is army training with the man she once loved and has been trying to distance herself from for YEARS. Who proceeds to control what she wears, when she sleeps, WHAT SHE EATS. Who laughs, when she gets hurt.

By the end of the story, the issue Nesta has confronted, from her laundry list of trauma is...that she’s bitchy to her sisters in instances of extreme distress/hardship.

That she...blames herself for the death of her abusive, absent father, who in no way contributed to her life from the time of her mothers death into her adulthood until he showed up for...ten seconds in acowar, named a ship after her, and immediately died. Watching a parent die? traumatic as hell. Retconning an ENTIRE parent-child relationship to make a character have something more palatable to struggle with? Bad writing.

Rape hangs over Nesta like a cloud this whole novel, but she never talks about it. It never in any way comes up while her and Cassian are having rough sex on every available surface.

She never heals, and she never becomes comfortable as a faery. She gives up her power.

Literally AND figuratively- Nesta is the same person at the end of the novel, but now she can punch really hard? has no magic, gave up a destiny the book STRONGLY IMPLIES was actually, really, always about Rhysand. All that changed is now she’s finally bent enough to play by the rules of the same people who condemned her for responding to the terrible things that happened it her...in ways exactly like they have and continue to do.

It makes me so sad, you know?

Which brings us to Cassian.

Who is supposed to be the emotionally intuitive one. The one who has survived so much, who understands trauma. Who more than that, understands Nesta, better than anyone else.

That is not the man in this book.

He’ll make this earnest declarations that sound...almost right? and then ten seconds later he’s guilt-tripping her. Saying just, absolute bullshit to her. Sexualizing her in her lowest moments.

It’s not enemies to lovers- Cassian is ashamed of Nesta when the book begins. Takes active glee in physically punishing her when she’s having a breakdown 600 pages later, on what it supposed to be the great tipping point of their relationship.

At no point does this man seem to even LIKE Nesta. He wants to have sex with her. He want her to do what he wants and obey 1) him and 2) their High Lord and Lady.

Nesta, who even toward the end of the book, as I said STILL IS NOT HEALING AT ALL, tells Cassian: “I don’t deserve you, and I never, ever will.”

Cassian’s response it to...kiss her?

Tell her: “You’re not going to marry Eris.” “There will be no one for else. For either of us.”

And then Nesta says yes, cries more, and they have sex again.

oh yeah, and then in the morning he runs off? To have a snowball fight? And then doesn’t speak to her or see her for three days.

I just. This dynamic never gets better. Proud, strong, intelligent, ferocious Nesta is always kind of like: will you look at me? you’re good and i am not.

She’s not safe in this love. Not comfortable, not ever on even ground. The entire dynamic of this relationship has brought her low and keeps her there.

So like, in the end. They have this fight where Cassian fully starts yelling at her...in public...because she isn’t saying yes! we’re mates! I’m going to quote it here:

“I am your mate, for fucks sake!” Cassian shouted, loud enough for people across the river to hear. “You are my mate! Why are you still fighting it?”

She let the truth, voiced at last, wash over her.

“You promised me forever on Solstice,” he said, voice breaking, “Why is one word somehow throwing you off that?”

“Because with that one word, the last scrap of my humanity goes away!” She didn’t care who say them, who heard. “With that one stupid word, I am no longer human in any way. I’m one of you!”

He blinked. “I thought you wanted to be one of us.”

“I don’t know what I want. I didn’t have a choice.”

“Well, I didn’t have a choice in being shackled to you, either.”

GUYS. I hate this fight to unfathomable levels.

so yes, he immediately tries to recant it...but like, let’s follow the thread for a minute. They’re together, really together, ever since the stupid moment Nesta said she was trash and didn’t deserve Cassian and Cassian said...you and me! forever! let’s fuck about it!

I get that the matebond is a precious thing- but god, it could not be clearer Cassian just...doesn’t respect Nesta even a little bit? She won’t use the word, so he’s yelling at her.

a page before: “That word means nothing to me, Cassian,” she said, voice thick as she tried to keep people who strode past from overhearing. “It means something to all of you, but for most of my life husband and wife was as good as it got. Mate is just a word.”

BECAUSE SHE WAS HUMAN. Because, very validly... Nesta has been fae for, two years? Her baseline is human, that’s how she feels. And she’s not wrong??

Faeries get married too. It’s not mates or nothing.

In my imaginary book, Cassian goes: why Archeron, is that a proposal? Because I’d love nothing more than to be your husband.

In THIS BOOK, he snaps: “That’s bullshit.”

Annnd cue fight.

Not only is Cassian so, so disrespectful of Nesta’s feelings...HE THOUGHT SHE WANTED TO BE A FAERY?

Are you kidding me, canon? Nesta was drowned against her will in the Cauldron! Cassian was there, unconscious in a pool of his own blood, still trying to reach her and save her. The ENTIRE pivot of her character that slides her into the dark place this book is meant to heal her from is her complete loss of autonomy at Hyberns hands.

and then the shackle line. I just...obviously, people say things in arguments they don’t mean, But Cassian never once stops going for what hurts the most where Nesta is concerned, and is yet baffled by her responses. He understands how to hurt her, but not how to comfort her when they’re fully clothed.

And then the end is...they’re mates. They’re going to have babies. They’re going to have a big faery mating ceremony. Nesta’s feelings aren’t not addressed, they magically cease to exist.

I’m sorry this turned into a FULL RANT- but yes, I’m disappointed.

Its always the same story: the difficult woman has to soften. Learn to be nice. Power? she can’t have that. She’s going to have a mate and babies, that’s her journey, because that’s every woman's journey.

There is one bright spot, which I do have to mention. I love Nesta’s friends.

They’re her real chance at recovery, that the IC have nothing to do with. And you know what? she makes them right off the bat. It’s crazy how if you treat someone like a person, they can function like one.

I just want them to have their own story far, far away from everyone else.

#apparently I was holding in a rant with my whole chest #acosf spoilers #knowing it wasn't going to be great did help #as did live blogging it with all of yall #but go fuck that ending forever #bad in every way #in a book that both had too many details and no plot #in a love story that was better when they were strangers than when they were sleeping together

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sebastianshaw · 3 years

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I know everyone here is SICK of my Duggan hate but-- It strikes me, he really just CAN’T write complex characters? I’ve noted many times over how he’s dedicatedly stripped Shaw of anything likeable or human not only the present, but actively retconned events to make him a 2D sack of evil (and frankly, inept evil) in the past as well. But he also goes out of his way to do the reverse for Emma, retconning that she’s ACTUALLY been a good person All Along even when she was at her most evil (so. . . what about her neverending journey to be a better person then, if she always was?) and actually Always Helped Other Women (which is like. . .pretty laughable to anyone who has read her past issues) to fit his ‘feminist’ theme. And there’s also, as many others have noted, how the secondary cast is just. . .bereft of character, or likewise one-not. Bobby, Pyro, Shinobi, and Bishop can go for ISSUES without speaking, and when they do, it’s like. . .one line. They show the bare minimum of personality most of the time, and while sometimes Duggan can hit a home run (Shinobi’s remark about how he and his dad have done well in not trying to kill each other so far) a lot of it is just. . . why are they there? No, really. They don’t really do anything, and the “plots” he gives them are typically underwhelming and resolved in one issue. Pyro, as @sammysdewysensitiveeyes has noted, hasn’t been demonized into a total strawman like Shaw, but he’s also really not at all recognizable as Pyro either. His character is entirely a one-note buffoon who is there for stupid comic relief, and there’s zero discussion about his past prior to coming back---his time with the Brotherhood, his battle with the Legacy Virus, the changes he underwent as a person when he was at death’s door, or even the stuff before that as a wartime journalist in Southeast Asia. None of that is there, there’s just this chaotic frat boy joke that Duggan pretty much entirely made up; he only even acknowledges Pyro is a Gothic Romance novelist after 20 issues, and even then it’s to make him look like a joke some more. Like Shaw, he’s just got one dimension now. Duggan seems to WANT to talk about abuse, specifically at the hands of men, which both Christian and Shinobi have experienced, as both were abused by their fathers. But he never, ever brings that up. Instead, he retroactively invents that Shaw abused Lourdes, and tacks on an abusive backstory to a female villain. I don’t think he thinks men can be abused? Or just. . .doesn’t care. His male characters are the ones who suffer most from flatness and having to be inept, evil, or both while the Cool Women Do Things, and I guess he, like lots of men, thinks that’s what Feminism (TM) is, just he’s not whining about it and is performing it instead. Speaking of that female villain, Wilhemina is a nasty evil sadistic little girl who not only happily kills/hurts people, she also kills and tortures animals, especially kittens. And you know what? I bet in the hands of a skilled writer, she very much COULD be made sympathetic and understandable. But what Duggan does is he just takes her and literally in ONE SCENE is like “oh she understands it was wrong now and is SUPER SORRY see she’s CRYING and also she did it because she was SEXUALLY ABUSED” and bam, we’re supposed to feel for her. There’s no buildup, no exploration, just a sudden explanation and remorse and that’s. . . .it? Compare MANON AND MAXIME whom I’ve written about before. They’re two children who were traumatized, abused, exploited, and made to hurt others by their abuser, which they seemed to enjoy doing. Now that they’re free and living on Krakoa, they do still exhibit unacceptable behavior at times, sometimes out of vengeance, sometimes in self-defense gone too far, and sometimes out of a desire to help and please others but lacking the tools to understand boundaries and appropriateness and respect for other’s autonomy. They’re a very unsettling blend of being sweet, childlike children, too eager to please adults, and little gremlins who seem to take joy in messing with people’s minds---or who just don’t understand when it’s wrong even when they mean well. Unsettling, and realistic. Psychic powers aside, I find the twins to be much closer to real-world victims of abuse, especially children, in that they’re NOT “good victims” or “bad victims”. They’re not the “abuse makes you evil” trope, but they still have fucked-up behavior so they’re not the “little abused angel who just sobs beautifully but whose symptoms are all sympathetic uwu” either, which is just as rare and as damaging a stereotype in its own way because it holds that up as how survivors of abuse “should” be. And, as said, that’s rarely it. Most survivors come out of abuse with behaviors that AREN’T sympathetic but DID help them survive, and they ARE NOT BAD PEOPLE FOR IT. This shit is complicated. Then there’s Wilhemina, who starts out as just a monster (even though, realistically, if a child is hurting animals, they probably DO need help) and then the moment her tragic backstory is revealed, she also recognizes and regrets all her wrongdoings. She jumps from one extreme to the other in the space of a few panels, but remains totally one-dimensional either way. And of course, Lourdes. We didn’t see to much of her personality BEFORE Duggan got ahold of her, but in her two issues pre-retcon, she showed a surprising amount of depth and moral ambiguity. She was a member of the Hellfire Club and high enough in its ranks to try to prevent Shaw from being nominated as Black Bishop, claiming she’d seen how it changed people. She clearly had seen some shit and despises it, yet she remained within it. She also seemed content with the idea of Shaw and Buckman experimenting on mutants as guinea pigs, her concern was more doing it on the X-Men specifically and that Buckman would betray Shaw. And she had far more agency when she chose to give her life to save Shaw’s, than Duggan’s version that needed Emma to tell her what to do. Duggan’s Lourdes is a brainless doll who talks like a little girl and needs Emma to handle everything for her, despite it largely not making sense that she would, given her own resources. She’s more morally pure, perhaps, but also one-dimensional. Only room for ONE Woman With Agency here, honey! TL;DR Duggan really can’t write characters that are more than one or two notes, and it shows.

#salt #out of shirt

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writcraft · 4 years

Text

Gender Reform (UK)

In case anyone needs to hear this from me, allow me to make it abundantly clear. I feel strongly about protecting women from the gender-based violence and misogyny they experience throughout their lives. I unequivocally include transgender women within that remit and do not distinguish them as separate or apart from that purpose, because they are women. I wholly support the use of the phrase ‘people who menstruate’ as a more inclusive term which captures our trans men and my non-binary siblings.

I have been mulling over what to post about JKR’s ongoing statements, hoping to use my own research and experience working with trans people who are in the process of transitioning to add something valuable, but I’ve found myself becoming increasingly exhausted and angered by my concerns that the crux of the issue is getting entirely lost. That was exacerbated today by the bringing out of receipts with this scientist said one thing, this scientist said the other, this is one trans experience, this is another seems to me to risk descending into academic back and forth. I want to go back to the very basics of the issue at hand, which are driven by proposed reforms to UK legislation.

In the UK there have been numerous calls for a reform of the Gender Recognition Act 2004 to enable self-determination of gender on passports. Despite my personal feelings on the matter, which are the right of transgender people to live peacefully and without harm is paramount, the knowledge (from multiple first hand accounts and my activist work) that it takes literal years to medically transition in the UK and the fact that as a queer person I find debating someone’s identity deeply problematic, here’s the very bare bones of what I consider to be the two key GRA issues and why you should, if you’re in the UK, be writing to your MPs and lobbying for these changes.

The UK government intends to scrap plans to allow people to gender self-determine on their passports.

The ability to allow people to do this has been debated for a number of years and somewhat surprisingly it was the Tories (under Theresa May) that suggested this idea of ‘gender autonomy’ would be progressed. Now, from proposals leaked to the media, it seems those advancements might be ditched. So why does the ability to determine ones own gender identity on a passport get met with such fearmongering? I’m honestly not entirely sure, and that’s not because of my ‘pro-trans bias’ or inability to consider any possibility of abuse, but rather because we have a comparable precedent.

In July 2015 Ireland passed the Gender Recognition Act which basically allows exactly what those of us lobbying for gender recognition reform in the UK have been suggesting. As far as I’m aware in the eight jurisdictions have introduced self-determined legal gender (Argentina, Malta, Denmark, Ireland, Norway, Sweden, Colombia and Belgium) there have been no reports of this power being abused. There are checks and balances in place and I don’t understand why in this ‘debate’ we’re not discussing the countries where this is already good law.

According to research in Ireland 230 people have relied on the Gender Recognition Act so far and by way of reminder Ireland has a population of over 4 million, so there has been no ‘floodgate.’ There also hasn’t been any erasure of women’s rights or of same-sex partnerships. In actual fact, as a country whose politics was controlled for many years by the Catholic Church, women’s rights in Ireland were kind of terrible. The Abortion Referendum was a huge turning point in 2018 and same-sex marriage became legal in November 2015, a couple of months after the Gender Recognition Act was implemented. There has been no erasure of ‘lesbian’ and ‘gay’, the fight for women and queer people more broadly continues and the ability of people to self-determine their gender on their passports appears (at least on my research) to have had literally no impact on those movements.

Part of the leaked reforms suggested a form of ‘bathroom bill’ might be introduced in the UK which would deny access to people based on biological sex.

You cannot say you stand in solidarity with trans people and support this because you are supporting a legislative shift that would strip away the rights trans people already have. In the UK the notion of a ‘bathroom bill’ would be a new piece of legislation. That means that all the debates and arguments about men masquerading as trans to try to gain access to these spaces would already be a thing and yet these issues aren’t being reported about why? BECAUSE TRANS PEOPLE ARE NOT PREDATORS. The problem DOESN’T EXIST. To your ‘well if ANYONE can self-identify’ point above, when was the last time you took your passport to use the loo?

My suggestion is the government works on providing more funding to already desperately underfunded crisis centers and supporting those in need of those spaces which in many cases will include the trans women who already use them. Violence against women is heinous and it is not disputed. That it primarily occurs at the hands of men is also not disputed. Introducing some new legislation that vilifies trans people and allows random members of the public to police a vaguely ‘queer’ looking person’s right to access safe spaces (or just go to the bathroom) does literally nothing to address the violence that women are routinely subject to and arguably runs the risk of inciting more violence.

If you are queer and not trans but you are in any way gender nonconforming, I would suggest these proposals should be of a concern to you too.

In conclusion

There is SO MUCH NOISE on social media about this right now and arguing with someone like JKR on Twitter is something you (I’m speaking to my trans, queer people) need to do in a way that doesn’t harm your own mental health, because there is a POWER IMBALANCE involved. I’m not saying don’t speak up at all (silence = violence and all that) but just, be careful. Please.

We are not in some deconstructionist, queer theory, fourth wave feminism etc. debate. Of course you can find scientific, psychological, feminist, social justice, whatever field of study you’re working with, arguments on the pro side and on the con side. Arguing about someone’s right to mental and physical safety like it’s an academic point scoring debating competition is gross.

You cannot read that 91% of transgender murders in America 2019 were Black women and say that is not a feminist issue. You cannot say you stand with those transgender people but not the transgender community as a whole when you understand that the trans panic defense continues to be used today in America as a justification for violence against transgender people. You cannot know that and fail to recognise how the narrative of the trans villain infiltrating ‘women only’ spaces plays into precisely those hands.

As LGBTQIA people we literally owe our rights to gender nonconforming people. Don’t do them a disservice now by gatekeeping access to a space we all want to call home.

#transphobia #trans activism #anti-jkr #anti-terf #speaking out #queer rights

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philosophicalparadox · 3 years

Note

For the ship ask! Mefiama~

4 (I've been dying thinking about the first time Amaimon formed and his first meeting with Mephisto, nevermind that Meph probly saw him popping into existence a million timelines lol)

29 (bc one of my favorite things in Unbecoming was how Amaimon acted the minute he sensed weakness in Mephisto ;D)

and 39 for a given definition of "love" XD

Gonna answer these a bit out of order because it hurts my brain not to.

WARNING: If you're looking for fluffy stuff you won't find it here. (You know me). Samael has serious trust issues, and quite literally has poison in his name, so is in my mind incredibly toxic on multiple fronts.

Also this post is really long.

First the Neutral one:

29. How do they handle emergencies/injuries/sicknesses?

Independently. Neither wants to be anywhere near each other if they are inhibited in some way. Both are predators inhabiting the bodies of prey, and while Samael sees weakness in others as a hindrance to himself, Amaimon is a scavenger with a big appetite and a not too fussy diet. He also is triggered by his instinct to fit into a place in the pecking order, which means if there's an empty space above him, he will be inclined to fill it.

Now on their own, Amaimon will lick his wounds in as solitary a confinement as possible, preferring to retreat underground, or barring that, to be as far away from contact as possible. It depends a lot on the circumstances, but he would typically rather be alone. However, if he is offered help he is surprisingly cooperative about it. His isolation is less a matter of pride and more a matter of safety, and while he will get very grumpy and defensive at first, he will gladly accept aid that proves to be no threat to him. After all, the longer he is injured for, the longer he is out of the running, and ironically , the more attention he brings to his absence, particularly by Samael.

Samael is a nitroglycerin laced cookie when it comes to injury or illness. He puts on a placid face and pretends nothing is out of the ordinary, but truth be told he's an anxious, boiling mess inside, and spends 99% of his time in a state of forced disassociation. He doesn't like to be seen as weak or vulnerable, which is why he battles the instincts that tell him to hide or retreat; like Amaimon, his absence would draw more attention to his wounds than his continued presence, only there are far more eyes on him, adding to the pressure. That said though, one can only fight those instincts for so long. Samael is the master of masking his pain and discomfort in theory, but the fact he does so only adds to it; eventually the stress must find a release, making him wildly unpredictable and prone to snapping at people with varying degrees of violence with seemingly no warning. He professes and complains to be doted on and given every comfort possible, but again, this is a ruse, meant to fool himself as well as others into believing he is capable of swift and smooth recovery, or that he isn't as badly hurt as he actually is. It's a placation of the masses of watchful stares and suspicious muttering. The truth is far more ugly however, and the more hurt he gets, the less able he is to hide his distress and discomfort. He accepts aide as a platitude, but is a very uncooperative patient whenever serious matters need to be taken into consideration. He's also mortally terrified of anesthesia, because it strips him entirely of his autonomy, and that is ultimately what makes him difficult to deal with as a patient as well - lack of control.

39.a Who initiated the relationship? b. Who kissed who first? c. When was the first realization of love made?

A. According to the fic/headcannon lore I've got jotted down somewhere, (explaining Amaimons initial incarnation) Samael technically was the one to initiate it, as he is the one who pulled Amaimon from the North Sea. However, it was Amaimon who began the unfortunate series of events surrounding his affection for Samael. The boy wanted his attention and praise, and began seeking it out in various ways, ultimately and accidentally developing his now typical courtship routine in the process. This routine has variability depending on who he is wooing, but is basically a combination of showing off + gifts (usually starts with food, if that fails then he finds what works) + excited body language / suggestive body language + touching, raking, nipping, grappling, suggestive attempts to mount, etc. Rinse and repeat as many times as necessary.

B. Amaimon did not understand what kissing was until Samael "explained" it to him, so there ya go.

C. This is where things get really dark in their relationship. Samael 1k years ago is not as kind or tolerant, and is terrified beyond all reason or sense of being close to people. It took a long time for Amaimon, who is also afraid of closeness, to open up his shell and find that he felt some intimate connection with Samael, who for all the world wanted to ignore that connection and will it away. When that did not work, and Amaimon began to foolishly take the initiative to really deepen their emotional bonds by way of persistently courting him and, in the way of any naive child, cling to him, Samael did not know nor care to even try and understand how to handle it. Amaimon loves him - that fact stared him in the face every day, no matter how much he willed it away, so he began to push. Verbally, emotionally, and physically, he pushed Amaimon, pushed his love, away. Violently, viciously at times, he pushed him away, until it drove him away. Amaimon eventually gave up and left for greener, less painful pastures, coming back together with Samael after many centuries apart.

Wiser Samael never did apologize, even to this day, but has come to terms with his nasty treatment of Amaimon. This is why he tolerates things from Amaimon that would surely see anyone else dead; (e.g punching him in the face) it's the only way he knows how to apologize without losing face. He still won't admit that he cares about Amaimon, because he tries very hard not to. But he can accept the fact that he acted the way he did out of fear, and that he did something very wrong to someone that didnt deserve it. Does that mean he wouldn't do it twice? Hell no. But he is aware it is his fault, even if he'll never admit that to anyone else.

4. First Impressions of each other?

Samael didnt know why he pulled the demon from the water, but he was glad he did. Something told him that this boy was his kin. He knew the name Amaimon, but didnt know his face until then. Being the space/time being he is, he was aware to a degree of the reputation which preceded that name, but wasn't sure who he would be dealing with at such an early stage in the young Amaimon's life. Therefore he had an optimistic but cautious approach, hoping he could make use of this lost baby demon.

Amaimon was impressed by Samael, who of course tried to make himself seem as impressive as possible. Amaimon was surprised that Samael knew his name, and how much he seemed to know about the situation he had left behind. But that's not all he knew. He knew something about everything, and had something from practically everywhere.

When they reconveined again after their separation, not much had changed.

And with that this dramatically long post draws a close. I will be posting snippets of the lore on here once it's complete.

#ao no exorcist #blue exorcist #mephisto pheles #fanfiction #amaimon #fan theory #ask response

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asterekmess · 4 years

Note

1-11 Scott/Posey Stans always try to deflect criticism of the way Scott McCall is written in Teen Wolf by claiming that ANY attempt by a fan, a viewer, or a critic of holding Scott to a level of behavior that one would expect of a character who is a main and the self-proclaimed hero of the show is “racism”. Except that their accusations don’t make any sense whatsoever, because Scott’s canonical shitty actions and behavior don’t stem from his race (or canonical lack of thereof.)

Okay hun, this is a doozy, so I’m putting it under a Read More.

2-11 Scott McCall is mean. He’s mean to Stiles, he’s mean to Allison, he’s mean to Derek, he’s mean to Peter, he’s mean to Cora, he’s mean to Lydia, he’s mean to Jackson, he’s mean to Erica, he’s mean to Isaac, he’s mean to Malia, he’s mean to Malia, he’s mean to Kira, he’s mean to Liam, he’s mean to Chris, and he’s even mean to Theo (“You are barely even human!”) Scott McCall is deliberately rude to the Hales, Boyd, Ethan, Danny, Hayden, Jiang, Tierney, and Melissa.

3-11 Scott McCall deliberately USES, INSULTS, HUMILIATES and DEHUMANIZES people in ways that demonstrate that he is fully aware of what he’s doing. Scott McCall deliberately disregards other people’s needs in order to fulfill his own. Tyler Posey being half Mexican doesn’t change the fact that his fictional character Scott McCall is a whiny coward and an abusive piece of trash,

4-11 and that his so called ‘defense squad’ enjoys the power fantasy that Scott can be cruel, can lie, can assault, can lash out, can violate other people’s boundaries, bodily autonomy and consent, can commit premeditated murder, can break the law without impunity, can dehumanize, can gaslight and victim blame his friends to his heart’s content and no one should ever hold it against him

5-11 In both the production and in some Scott supremacist fanfics, there’s often the premise that people are evil and in the wrong if they call Scott out on his bullshit or hold his toxic behavior against him. Take Season 1. As much as the Scott McCall defense squad brigade love framing Stiles and Derek getting shit done and prioritizing people’s life over Scott’s jealous fits and temper tantrums as the height of depravity

6-11 Scott/Posey Stans consciously and steadfastly ignore all the cruel things that Scott says and does throughout the seasons, such as “How much Adderall have you had today?” OR “What are you trying to do?! I just made first line! I got a date with a girl who I can't believe wants to go out with me and everything in my life is perfect! Why are you trying to ruin it?!” OR “The hunters had a reason to slaughter your entire family and pack”

7-11 (As an aside, it’s amazing to me how Fanon rewrites Scott as this brilliant thinker and strategist and mastermind who is so much smarter and better than everyone else in every way even though Canon Scott spends the entirety of Teen Wolf doing absolutely nothing except get his ass handed to him by everyone, whining about wanting to be popular/get his dick wet/play lacrosse, screaming at his friends and girlfriends, being utterly useless when left to his own devices,

8-11 and planning to bite Stiles against his will because he doesn’t know what to do. But I digress.) Or take Season 5. In the rain argument in Lies of Omission (5x09), Scott McCall’s hypocritical, dehumanizing speech to Stiles is one of the meanest, cruelest, most disgusting manipulations I have ever seen a television character deliver to another television character they supposedly cared about. It’s victim blaming and gaslighting at its vilest.

9-11 And, of course, the Scott McCall defense squad focuses exclusively on the idea that Stiles didn’t behave “the right way” in that scene (AKA taking Scott’s bullshit without clapping back like Scott wanted and demanded), and cannot entertain for one moment the idea that Scott provoked that response by dehumanizing Stiles and by accusing Stiles of being a violent, dangerous, inhuman monster and serial killer based on Theo’s words alone.

10-11 After all, it’s part of their power fantasy. Scott being “abandoned” and “mistreated” by his “ungrateful” friends serves another type of fantasy: the poor oppressed martyr. It doesn’t matter why Scott is abandoned or who is leaving Scott, it’s all about Scott McCall’s right to own people and demand his friends’ love, friendship, loyalty, sympathy, forgiveness, obedience and devotion without having to account for his own abusive behavior.

11-11 And that’s Scott Stans’ point: Only Scott McCall Is Important and Damn Derek/Stiles/Liam/Other Teen Wolf character for having a life and motivations that don’t revolve around Scott! To them (and to Canon Scott), the pack exists not to serve all its members, but to serve and validate Scott McWhinyCall. Because, after all, that’s what antis want for themselves – validation in the face of shortcomings and bad behavior.

Wow, that was a lot of anger. Do you feel any better after venting that? I really hope so, it honestly looks p cathartic. Okay, I apologize in advance if I don’t come across as quite so passionate, I’m kinda bleh today and I already used up all my righteous fury in an earlier post, so I’ll do my best.

I honestly understand the worry about people disliking Scott as having racist motivations. As I said in another post, there aren’t a lot of Latino (wait, I read somewhere to use latine? Should I use that instead? I’ll use that, someone correct me if I’m wrong. The thing also said latinx was not great bc of pronunciation issues? I’m not educated enough on this. Halp, please.) Latine protagonist characters in popular television, especially for teen dramas like Teen Wolf. Intentional or not, written into the show or not, Scott is half-latine. His mother is a latine woman. We don’t see them speak spanish or take part in any specific cultural traditions, but that doesn’t make him white. Yes, his character was written for a white guy, but Tyler Posey is the one who got the part and we can’t strip him of his heritage just because the show originally meant for Scott to be white. My husband is almost always mistaken for white, even though he’s also half-latine, but that doesn’t make him any less latine. There’s little enough representation as it is, and if we start being picky about whether characters were ‘intended’ or ‘written’ as POC, everything will just fall to shit. Plus, as a white person, I have literally no rights to decide that Scott’s white. I’m cool with that. Would prefer to just stay in my lane, if I’m honest. With Scott established as being a POC, it’s totally reasonable for other POC and fans of Scott to be worried that those of us who don’t like him have that opinion because of either passive or active racism. There are a lot of occasions where Protags of Color were either liked less, or actively disliked for just being ‘not white.’ It also doesn’t help that Scott is one of very few “good” Characters of Color in TW (whether we agree or not, he is presented as a ‘good guy’). We have Boyd, who dies in 3A and doesn’t get much character developement in the meantime, and Kira, who sticks around for a while, then has to leave because of ‘losing control’ which is apparently a very common stereotype for POC, especially within Fantasy or Supernatural settings. Other than them, the other POC are either bad guys or just morally dubious. I’m not sure where Deaton falls on the scale either. I understand it being frustrating to some people for us to take one of the few “good’ characters and see him/describe him as a villain. It’s important for white people, and honestly, anyone not latine (because even POC can be racist against people who aren’t their race) to be self-aware and analyze the various reasons why we dislike Scott and make sure that we aren’t accidentally being passively racist. Just because we’re sure we aren’t, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t double check. And if we find we are, then it’s up to us to correct that mindset and educate ourselves. There is no shame in learning that you have not great habits or mindsets and working to fix them. That’s how growth works. It’s equally important that when we’re writing fic, we watch how we portray him and the other POC in the show. I’m not saying we can’t write Scott bashing fic. Fuck knows that I’ve written plenty of Bad Friend Scott McCall fic, and I don’t intend to stop. But we still need to be self-critical and make sure that we’re not writing Scott (or the others, please assume from here on out I’m saying Scott and the others) into racist stereotypes. We shouldn’t reduce him to just a “Yes” man, or make him constantly submissive, or constantly vicious and angry and mean for no reason. It’s one thing to write him as doing something bad or cruel and making it realistic for the story. It’s quite another to have him just randomly pop in to say “fuck you” and hit someone (I’m not referencing something specific here, I’m just saying dumb stuff). Honestly, I don’t know enough about this and I’m not really entitled to go into too much more detail. Instead, I’d recommend that even if you don’t think you’re hating Scott for racist reasons, still read This Post about racism in fandom/fanfic. When I read it, it was both reassuring and intimidating. I have anxiety, so I’m usually worried about doing things for ‘the wrong reason’ even when that’s not actually my reason for doing the thing. Reading this gave me a clearer view of my own thoughts, and it honestly made me feel a little more comfortable with my own mentality because it gave me a structure to think about and consider when I’m worried that I’m doing something racist. It’s worth the read. I’d also like to reiterate the suggestion on that post, to check out the blog Writing with Color, which is a great resource for writing Characters of Color. It doesn’t have as many resources for fanfiction writing and the grey area involved in writing characters that your reader already knows, but their ask box is closed at the moment, so maybe when it opens again someone’ll send in an ask about it (If I actually remember to, I’ll do it myself, but that’s unlikely, so if one of you feels so inspired, please do so and help a fic writer out!)

Now. I cannot speak for every single fan of TW who is anti-Scott in some way. Obviously not. But, I can speak for myself and for the experiences I’ve had within the fandom. My issues with Scott are many and complex and a lot of it is intrinsically connected to issues with the writing of the show in general and with the creators and the calls they made. In all the conversations that I’ve had with other fans, I’ve never seen anyone list Scott’s race as a problem. I’ve never seen anyone talk about how they wished he were more submissive or more obedient. Maybe that he would listen to actual adults once in a while, but not that he be unreasonably obedient of white characters. I’m not all-knowing on the subject of racist stereotypes, but nearly every complaint I’ve seen was based on details from the show and specific moments and dialogue, not just a general disgust with his existence. Furthermore, for all the anger I see directed at those of us that prefer Stiles, Derek, or even Peter, I’ve also never talked to anyone who liked those characters who wasn’t willing to admit that there were plenty of points in canon where they fucked up or did something wrong. Again, I don’t know everyone in fandom, so maybe there are people who won’t admit those things, but they aren’t in the majority.

I personally hate the way I see Scott treat people in the show. I hate the really vicious things he says and does and the chronic lack of self-awareness or growth. Even worse, the way the show excuses his behavior, be it intentional or not, has soured a lot of other parts of the show. The clearly impulsive moments that could easily be excused by him being a really stressed out teenager make me a lot more frustrated than they would, had I not known that he would never get better. That he would never stop saying things like that. I can’t even make myself enjoy the genuinely sweet moments with him and Allison or him and his mom, etc. I might hate that he left Stiles’ messages unanswered and skipped an entire day of school during a crisis to hang out with Allison, but I would’ve liked to enjoy their banter, the soft moments between them that are actually really nice. I can’t though, because so many other things about his character have ruined that for me.

It isn’t okay to attack people for disliking a character and throw around such charged words like “racist” and “abuse-apologist” or anything else. First off, this is fiction, and we all need to keep that in mind. These are not real people we’re talking about. Secondly, calling someone racist because they disagree with you (unless they are actively saying/doing something actually racist) isn’t okay and it isn’t an adult way to deal with things. Someone not liking a character doesn’t automatically make them racist. Someone happening to prefer a white character over a Character of Color doesn’t automatically make them racist. Sure, they might have passively racist motivations that even they don’t realize. But it is not up to strangers to come yell and call names without proof. There are plenty of reasons that have nothing to do with race (Not saying “i don’t see race.” I’m saying “Not About Race”) that I like Stiles over Scott, ranging from the fact that he’s physically more my type, to sharing a neurological condition with him, to just preferring Dylan O’Brien as an actor because he makes me fucking cry every time he cries on screen. What’s important is that we self analyze and check ourselves and our opinions to make sure that we aren’t falling into the racist habit of disliking Characters of Color for no real reason. But that isn’t something that other people can do for us, and it’s not their place to tell us what we think. Calling a stranger racist for saying they hate Scott’s behavior in the show doesn’t do anything for racial equality. It just makes people stop listening to the word ‘racist.’

There are times I seriously get frustrated with TW to the point of considering not watching anymore. Of closing my blog and stopping reading fanfic entirely because every single time I read a fic where Scott’s a ‘good guy’ or a ‘good alpha’ or where Derek is glad to be a beta again because he likes following Alpha Scott, I get squicked so badly I have to click out and just sit there for a second to settle. I can’t disentangle the things he does/says in the show from the fic.And I’ve written Good Friend Scott McCall fics. I have multiple wips where he’s either a decent person or he grows from being a dick to being a decent person. With my own work, I know that there’s an awareness to his behavior in the show and an active intent to rewrite/fix his behavior so that he is a nice person. With other people’s works, I don’t have a guarantee (unless it’s mentioned in tags or author’s notes, and I don’t expect people to have to explain themselves that way), and it personally makes me uncomfortable to read something when I don’t know if the writer actually sees Scott that way. It’s a personal preference, and one that I stick to pretty strictly.

Scott brings me no joy, and with him as the main character, I’ve come perilously close to cutting myself off from the most welcoming, loving fandom I’ve ever been a part of (except the Merlin fandom, but I don’t blame anyone who can’t compete with them. They’re fucking magical.). But I’m still here. I still love, if not the reality of the show, then all the potential I see in it when I watch. I love watching Derek and Stiles interact with each other and with the other side characters. I love seeing the glimpses of Boyd that we get, the tiny scenes of Erica, the snarky moments with Isaac. I even like Kira, though I haven’t seen a whole lot of the show where she’s in it/genuinely can’t remember it (I can’t even remember how far I’ve seen total, but I don’t think it was past S4, and I haven’t seen past S2 in months and months) and she spends most of her scenes with Scott, which just....kind of ruins the scenes for me.

That’s the glory of fandom though, of media in general. I don’t have to like Scott. I can love Derek and Stiles instead and I can choose not to read fics where Scott is a major player or an Alpha at all. I can read fics where Kira’s part of the pack without Scott ever getting involved, and see her interact with everyone else. Or fics where Boyd never dies and watch him bake or read or play lacrosse with the pack. I can curate my own experience, whether that means blocking tags or users or filtering fics, or just straight up skipping certain scenes/episodes of the show itself. I cope with my frustrations by coming on this blog and ranting about it. Yeah, this is a public space, but it’s also a space people choose to view. If they don’t like my opinions, they can block me or unfollow me or all of the above. They don’t have to read it, just like I don’t have to read any of their pro-scott stuff. I also read fic that does explore how Scott’s behavior is problematic and cruel sometimes. Fic that either erases him or turns him into the villain, I find fun and interesting and the relationship between him and Stiles cracking into pieces is something I find extremely cathartic, so I read it pretty much every chance I get (though, i’m so picky about fics I read, you’ve no idea). I also write fic. I write the most mushy, self-indulgent sterek fic and Stiles-centric fic and and Scott bashing fic that I can possibly write. It’s a joy and a therapy all its own. Fuck, I’m rewriting the entirety of canon for fuck’s sake and I’ve made so many changes that at this point I honestly have issues remembering what happens in the show, bc I rewrote the damn thing.

At the same time, Scott fans are gonna write their power fantasies. They’re gonna write anti-Stiles stuff and anti-Derek stuff, and whatever else tickles their fancy. They’re gonna make their own rant posts and gifsets. And to be quite honest, I don’t give a single flying fuck. I already have those tags filtered out on Ao3. I don’t follow any pro-scott tumblrs. That shit doesn’t show up for me most of the time, unless it’s not tagged properly, and even then I just click out, take a second, and move on.

No one is required to like or dislike specific characters, and it’s unfair of anyone to tell us otherwise. Fandom is built on choice. The choice to disagree with canon, or to re-envision it altogether, or to love it entirely. No one can take that away from you. So long as you aren’t hurting anybody, just keep doing you, friend. I’m here for you to vent to when it gets to be too much.

#personal #go for it #anti-scott mccall #meta ramblings #Anonymous #rant #much love #I didn't mean to sound so preachy #oops

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